#Sorry it took me so long to get to this lmao ;-; I've been Quite a busy lad

[californiaquail]

the local mother in law was talking about "all the football players who got fake vaccine cards because they knew about it causing myocarditis" and i was sitting next to her having straight up lost count of how many covid vaccines i've gotten without developing myocarditis (obviously) like

you know what does cause myocarditis? covid.

[spider-ghoul]

Babysitting <3

Percy Jackson X gn!reader (fluff)

In which: a call from Sally Jackson leads you to help with her youngest, and spend the night with her eldest son. Lingering glances and sleepy confessions only to be forgotten by morning.

Warnings: Reader is mentioned to be smaller than Percy once, kissing, none I can think of but as always lmk if there's anything!!

this might be complete shit lmao I finished this at like 3:00 am last night but I wanted to get something out to feed the beasts of this website

~~𓈒ㅤׂㅤ𓇼 ࣪ 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒ 𓆡 ⭒ㅤ𓈒ㅤׂ 🫧~~

At six o'clock on a Friday, normally I'd be rotting in my bed after the week of school. And that was the plan, until Mrs. Jackson mom called.

"Oh- (y/n) I'm so sorry for asking but do you think you could watch Estelle tonight? Me and Paul had a date but Percy was going to the movies with Grover tonight and we-"

"Mrs. Jackson, yeah, it's fine. When do I need to be over?"

"Six is when we're leaving."

"I'll be there at five fifty."

"You're a savior."

This was perfectly fine. Me and Percy were friends and i was the only half-blood who lived around here. I watched Estelle a few times before too. No biggie. Except for the fact I'd been in love with Percy Jackson for...a while.

I mean, he was  kinda my friend. But god, he was Percy Jackson.

At five forty, i headed out. I grabbed my backpack, making sure i had the baby sitting essentials for any four year old: nail polish, beads, and my old rainbow loom (i also spent a extra minute making sure my hair looked okay so that if i saw a certain older brother) I figured that and the t.v. would be more than enough to keep us occupied till her bedtime at eight.

I got there right on time (surprisingly), and Sally greeted me with another thank you. She tried to hand over a few bucks cash, but i pushed her hand away.

She rushed out of the door with Paul after a few more (failed) attempts of paying me, leaving me with an excited two four old. And before too long, she had me watching Bluey (Though i do thoroughly enjoy that show), and making bracelets for us.

She watched as i showed her how to bead the string and make sure the letter beads where on the right way, and then she helped me choose colors.

To start i made one with her name in purple and white. She giggled and slide it on her wrist. I started working on a second one, and she told me to tie hers. It was all blue and had me spell out 'Percy' with beads for her.

"Is this for your brother?" She nodded excitedly, "well, we'll give it to him when he get here, okay?"

I got a solid hour with the beads before she got bored, and by the end both of our wrists had a fair share of bracelets littering them, and a small pile of three bracelets for Percy.

I seriously hope she's awake when he gets here, I can imagine the teasing that would come with handing him bracelets and saying, "oh yeah sorry I'm at your house haha baby sitting- oh me and your sister made you bracelets-". Or i could imagine our hands touching causing me to panic. I could imagine a million things actually.

I think this whole crush is really getting out of hand, especially with me becoming his mom's go to sitter now a days.

Estelle broke me from my thoughts with requests to watch 'Nemo', her favorite. We've watched it every time I've babysat. Part of me wonders if Percy likes it too, I mean with the whole sea god thing. 

As for her request, I made a bag of microwave popcorn and set her down in front of the TV.

I vaguely remember the opening, and Estelle fell asleep next to me before i dozed off myself.

I woke up a bit later, maybe half an hour? The movie wasn't finished, but Estelle was already fast asleep. I took the liberty of scooping her up and placing her in her own bed before going to clean up the main room.

It wasn't bad, just putting away my beads, and getting the popcorn bowl out of the way. I was tired enough, school was rough this week. I just planted myself back on the couch, finding Nemo not quite finished as I did.

I'm not quite sure when i feel back asleep, just that i did.

I'm also not quite sure when Percy Jackson sat down next to me, but he did.

I woke up, curled around a throw pillow, the end credits were playing. I rolled onto my back, and that's when I saw him.

Maybe i was too tired, or maybe he was just smiling, but i didn't feel all that anxious. At least not like i normally do around the son of the sea god.

"Do you always fall asleep to Nemo or is this a special occasion?"

"Do you always watch me sleep or is this a special occasion...?"

He laughed and my heart fluttered.

"Uhm, sorry your mom had me come over to babysit, I didn't know you'd be home yet." I say awkwardly smiley as i sit up, yawning. 

"It's fine, y/n. She texted me, sorry to have you waste a Friday."

"Oh its fine, better than doing nothing. Your sis was an angel, like always." I say, shifting, my shirt bunched up around my waist while I was sleeping. I was also pretty positive my hair was a mess. 

"Oh and speaking of my mom- before i forget." He pulled out a twenty, "now I figure you aren't gonna want to take it, but it's sally's orders."

"I'd feel bad, its just a favor. Your mom is always so nice, she patched me up after a monster attack once, this is just me repaying her."

"She did? When?" His eyebrows furrowed together, his eyes filled with concern.

And i felt my face getting hot again.

"A few weeks ago, your house was closer than mine, it's fine." I mutter, looking down. 

He sighed, "what happened?" he said, reaching out to put his hand over mine. I short wire for a moment, looking back up at him. 

"Just something on my way home from school, it wasn't bad."

After a brief moment of silence, i wanted to crawl out of my skin.

He sighed, "as long as you're fine." he lifted his hand off of mine, though I could still feel his warmth. 

I smiled weakly, "oh uh..what time is it?" 

"Uh.. ten-ish?"

"I should be getting home." I say, sighing turning away from him. 

"It's pretty late, I wouldn't want you to walk back alone."

"It's not far-"

"I'm sure my mom would say the same thing, you know."

I sighed, knowing he was right, "i don't want to intrude." 

"Neither me or Sally would care."

"...."

"...can i bribe you to stay with waffles?"

"...yeah you can." I sigh, any of Sally's food was enough to make me do just about anything. 

Percy smiled, making my heart melt.

"Great, it'll be like a sleepover. Do you need to borrow a shirt or something?"

"Yeah, that uhm- that would be great." I mutter, pushing myself up off the couch. My neck was sore, who would have guessed that a throw pillow wasn't great for sleeping? I stretch my arms out over my head, yawning again. 

"tired?" He chuckles, raising his eyebrow. 

"well you did just wake me up-" I resort, rolling my eyes. I always forget how nice Percy is. I always worry about stupid things, but when I'm with him none of it really matters.

"You woke up on your own- I was simply..." He trails off, and I laugh:

"Watching me sleep?" 

"What can I say? You looked so.. pretty." He look down at me, and I could swear my heart stops, but I don't look away.

"...Yeah, whatever." I mummer quietly,  staring into his eyes and blinking a few times before finally breaking eye contact.

After a short moment, He mumbles something about getting me to bed. I nod quickly, following him to his room, which is surprisingly clean. He digs though his dresser drawers for a moment, pulling out some old band tee, and blue plaid pants. He hands them to me. 

"Is this fine for you? might be a big big, just let me know-" 

"it's fine. No worries." I say quickly, taking them, making sure to avoid his hands. "Thanks." 

He smiles again, and I leave for the bathroom, my heart pounding in my ears. 'pretty'? it's nothing, Percy is just nice like that. 

I change into his clothes, the smell of ocean engulfing me as the soft fabric hangs from my body.  I can't help but to push my head into my shoulder. It smells like him. 

I ball up my jeans and tee shirt, shoving them into my backpack. I slipped out the bathroom once I calmed myself down enough to talk to him again. 

I walk up to Percy's door, "Hey, I'm gonna go lay down do you have a blanket or something I can use..?" 

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at me from where he was laying on his bed, "You don't seriously think I'm making you sleep on the couch-?" 

"Well I kinda assumed..?" 

"Get over here you dork." He said, scooting over on his bed, "Plenty of room- you don't mind, do you?" 

Part of me lit on fire, and part of me was desperate to put it out. My ears got hot, but I managed to nod.

"No, I don't mind.." 

I place my bag on the floor by the door, walking up and sitting on his bed, sliding my legs under the covers and sliding down to lay next to him. I was stiff, worried to so much as touch him. But eventually, I relaxed, turning to lay on my side, facing him. 

I looked at him through half-lidded eyes, my body already starting to sink into his bed, ready to get a proper night's sleep. My eyelids slowly drifted shut. 

I was woken when Percy broke the silence. 

"Y/N?" Percy whispered, almost silent. 

"Mhm..?" I mumbled back, not bothering to open my eyes. 

"I really like you, you know that?" 

If I wasn't half asleep, maybe I would have said something different. If I had the energy maybe I would have been flustered. 

"... I really like you too." 

I only heard him chuckle before he placed a hand on my hip. 

"Get some sleep, yeah? I'll confess my undying love when you'll properly Remember it." 

I must have frowned, because he laughed lightly and pulled me a little closer. 

It didn't matter though. I slipped back to sleep, and when I woke up I didn't  remember. 

I remembered waking up some point in the night, but I didn't know what was said. 

And in the morning, I got the promised waffles and left the Jackson's apartment. 

The ever chivalrous Percy Jackson (who I woke up cuddling with), offered to walk me home. 

We took the long way, and when we reached my door step, he pressed his lips to mine and told me he couldn't wait for me to babysit again, though he wouldn't mind me coming around before then. 

He left me breathless and giddy, and so so happy to have accepted Sally's offer.

[reysdriver]

Hey darlin'! I just saw your one-shots and i REALLY love them!! I need morr about Eddie with Hopper!Reader <33 Please!! A fluff or a smut where the Reader have to deal with her father. Hope you can answer. Have a nice day!! ✨️

-🩷

You and Eddie try to have a chill night in, but it's difficult when you have the world's most paranoid chief of police as a father — eddie x fem!hopper!reader fluff

warnings: none

words: 1.2k

a/n: thanks for submitting a request! I'm sorry it took so long, I've been so busy lately, and I'm sorry I couldn't figure out how to end it lmao but I really hope you like this fic!!

Even though your dad knew about you and Eddie dating, he was definitely not as okay with it as you would have hoped, but honestly more than you had expected. 

He had met Eddie a few times since he found out you were in romantic cahoots with the familiar criminal, and despite your fears, they had gotten along quite well despite their history and their differences. But no matter how many things they actually had in common, no father would fully trust Eddie Munson to be alone with his little girl. 

“Door open three inches!” Your dad called from the couch. “You know the rules!”

You rolled your eyes, standing up from the bed to open the door to Hopper’s liking. 

The door was open three inches, and you swore that it was the draft causing the door to move slightly, but you knew your dad would never believe you. 

“Seriously, Dad?” You asked him. 

“Rules are rules.” He confirmed. “If you don’t like it, then the boyfriend can go.”

You let out a heavy, dramatic sigh before returning to your boyfriend, who was currently sketching out a Dungeons and Dragons character based on you for his new campaign. 

Eddie looked up from his paper when you sat back down next to him. “You can do a lot with three inches, you know?”

You put a finger over his mouth—which he playfully tried to bite—and you shushed him while holding back a laugh at his incredibly stupid, albeit funny, joke. 

“He’s gonna hear you, and he’s gonna drag you out of here. Keep drawing.”

He put the finishing touches on his design, then let out a sound of satisfaction over it before turning the notebook so you could see it better. 

“I think I did pretty good.” Your boyfriend proclaimed. “She’s almost as pretty as you.”

Oh, how you lucked out with this mysterious dork. You thanked him by pressing a quick kiss on his cheek before your dad became suspicious of you two once again. 

“You think I should get it as some ink?” Eddie asked you. 

“Like, you want to get it tattooed?”

Eddie nodded, eyes going back and forth between you and the cartoon version of you that he just made. 

“Absolutely not.” You replied. 

“What? Why not? Do you not love me enough to let me tattoo you on me?”

He was ridiculous, staring at you with big, fake puppy dog eyes and a pleading lip. 

“Of course I love you, but as your girlfriend, I also need to stop you from doing stupid things.”

“What if I keep your tattoo separate from the creepy skulls and spiders?”

Well, that was an offer you almost couldn’t refuse. Even though it was tempting, you would never let him know that he can get to you like that, so you played it cool.

“Ask me again in a year.”

His face erupted into a devilish smile and he held his hands to his chest like a cartoon character in love. 

“I’m getting a tramp stamp of my girlfriend in a year!”

Before you could protest his proclamation, he pulled you into his arms in what you hoped was just a teasing gesture rather than a genuine expression of excitement for something you were certainly not going to let happen. 

Just a second later, your dad cleared his throat very pointedly, which practically frightened you out of your boyfriend’s arms. 

“El wants to watch a movie.” He announced. “Come watch with us.”

You sat up and shook your head lightly. “Um, no thanks, Dad. We’ll pass on that.”

Your dad raised an eyebrow and looked at Eddie’s arm around your waist. “You have something better to do?”

It was at that point that you knew him telling you about your sister and the movie was an order, not an invitation. You bit the inside of your cheek and luckily, Eddie spoke up before you could say something snarky. 

“A movie sounds great, chief. Count us in.”

“Good.” Hopper said curtly before turning around to the living room. 

Eddie stood up and started teasingly pulling you off the bed. You laid down and let out an annoyed groan, resisting his attempts to move you. 

“C’mon, babe, movie time.” Eddie encouraged. 

“It’s just gonna be The Wild Bunch. That’s one of their favourite movies and I know El’s been wanting to see it again lately.” You mumbled. “I’d much rather stay here with you.”

“Well, your dad might never let me back in your house if he thinks I’m trying anything with his daughter in the other room, so we have to. Plus, I like The Wild Bunch too.”

Your face formed an exaggerated frown as you finally got up off the bed. 

Eddie smiled and escorted you to the living room. And although you had just started to build up excitement within you for this movie night, it already got worse. 

El was in her favourite recliner—the VHS case for The Wild Bunch was on her lap, you called it—but your dad had plopped himself down in the exact middle of the couch. Not only did you have to watch a movie with your family instead of chilling with your boyfriend, but you couldn’t even sit next to him because your dad hates the idea of you having fun. 

Before you knew it, you were in a full on stare-down with the Hawkins chief of police. 

“Take a seat.” He said passive aggressively. 

“I want to sit next to Eddie, Dad. Could you move over?”

He shook his head. “I’m not falling for any of your tricks. I was a teenager once.”

“Yeah, like a thousand years ago.” You mumbled. 

The comment was quiet but your dad still heard it. 

“Careful, any attitude and I’ll assume it came from the moron and he won’t be allowed back in the house.”

You looked over at Eddie with a defeated expression on your face. He looked back at you, sympathetic and willing to comply—the latter was a complete switch from his normal mood.

Your boyfriend understood completely why your dad was worried about you and Eddie dating, but that didn’t mean he was happy about it. Of course, Eddie was willing to do whatever he could to seem like the boyfriend every parent would want for their daughter—he really was, some people just couldn’t look past the exterior shell to see it—so he held his tongue and went along with anything. 

The two of you sat down on opposite sides of the couch, separated by your relentless father. 

“Alright, El, play the movie.” Hopper said. 

He then leaned back and kept his eyes on the television in front of you all. 

Eddie soon caught your gaze from across the couch, and he stretched his arm behind his head, oh so conveniently placing it a few inches from your shoulder.

You grinned at him, keeping it subtle, and took his hand in yours. 

The two of you watched the rest of the film like that, holding hands in that slightly uncomfortable way, and the night wasn’t as insufferable as it seemed like it was going to be. All thanks to Eddie, of course.

[roosterr]

i've known war

john 'soap' mactavish x gn!reader wc: 9.3k (whoops) summary: you're alive. he can get you back, he can hold you in his arms again. warnings: established relationship, angst and sadness and depression, hurt/comfort, canon typical violence, graphic description of injury, mentions of torture, eventual happy ending, military and medical inaccuracies, pls ignore any plot holes i beg

requested here! follow up to love you from afar, but can be read as a standalone. im so sorry this took me so long to write lmao.

it always feels like the first time when you kiss him. even now, years down the line, the sparks, the warmth, the daze that you leave him in; he truly believes it will never get old.

the way you look, standing in the open doorway of the helicopter, silhouetted against the bright blue sky, it makes his head feel so fuzzy he almost forgets why you're all here in the first place.

it's the sweet sound of his name passing your lips that pulls him back to the present, your voice sending his stomach fluttering.

"earth to johnny," you chuckle, turning to face him and resting your weight against one side of the open door, "what're you thinking so hard about?"

he can't help the smile that breaks out at the sound of your laughter. "just you." johnny replies, closing the small distance between you and snaking an arm around your waist. you smile as he leans in closer, murmuring low in your ear, "and, how i cannae wait to get ye home."

you laugh again, placing a hand on his chest but not quite pushing him back. "we've got a job to do first."

he takes your hand in his, running his thumb over your knuckles. "then we'd better get a move on, eh?"

"i'll race you," you grin at him, haloed by the light of the sun so beautifully he has to snap himself out of his reverence to respond.

"oh, you're on." 

perhaps it was slightly irresponsible the way he was rushing the others along for his own gain, but within a matter of minutes they're breaching the facility and well on their way to being done with this.

it's only when he's stalking along a dimly lit corridor that he slows down. something was bothering him, an off feeling in the back of his mind that he just can't ignore.

before he can think about it any further, a boom shakes the walls, filling the air with dust and obscuring his vision even more. it was close enough to start a faint ringing in his ears, coming from back the way he came; where he'd split up with ghost and, more importantly, you.

he should stay on target, continue with what they're here to do, his job – but what if you were in trouble? if there's a chance you need his help, he couldn't risk it. it takes less than a second for him to turn back, making the decision to check on what caused the explosion before continuing.

quietly stalking back down the corridor, it takes him slightly longer to register the fact that he hasn't heard anything over the radio; no updates, no clever remarks from ghost, nothing. they worked not fifteen minutes ago, just after you'd split up and checked them. surely nothing could've happened in such a short space of time?

he does his best to push through the sinking feeling that tries to drag him down, but it's stubborn, creeping in from the corners of his mind.

he reaches where he left you in half the time it took him to walk away, the intersection of two corridors just as empty as the rest of the halls. he points his flashlight in the direction you went, and the feeling in his gut gets worse.

something glinting in the light catches his attention. the end of the corridor is collapsed, when it definitely hadn't been before, but it's what lies in front of the rubble that he zeroes in on. partially obscured by the layer of filth and blood coating it, there's no mistaking it when he kneels down, dropping his rifle to the ground beside him, and carefully takes the metal in his trembling hand.

it's a pair of id tags.

he numbly calls your name. it bounces off the walls and echoes back to him. the blood runs through the creases of his hand, staining the flesh. the letters of your name are clear through the dirt.

no. you can't be gone.

he looks up to the rubble, shrouded in darkness, back down to your tags, back up to the rubble, and there's a hand just visible under the concrete that looks sickeningly like yours and–

he tears his gaze away, back down to your tags. the chain is snapped, like it had been ripped off in a hurry, as if you'd known you were going to die and wanted to make sure he would find them–

no, no no. you're not dead. you can't be. he just saw you fifteen minutes ago, he bumped his helmet against yours in lieu of a kiss like he always did before you parted ways. you were fine and you were smiling at him. it was only fifteen minutes, you were right here, he can still hear your voice taunting him about the race between you, it was only fifteen minutes–

a heavy hand comes down on johnny's shoulder, startling him out of his panicked daze and instinctively he jumps up and swings his arm at whoever stuck up on him.

ghost catches his forearm easily, his eyes moving between your tags clutched in johnny's fist to the wreckage behind him. when he meets johnny's watery eyes again, the coldness in his gaze seems to soften as he arrives at the same conclusion.

the ringing in johnny's ears hasn't left. in fact, it's gotten worse.

"we– we gotta find 'em," johnny's breath comes out shallow and ragged, the panic slowly rising in his chest through the initial numbness. "fucks sake, they cannae– we– we–"

"johnny." ghost interrupts his sputtering short, bracing both hands on his biceps and giving him a gentle, grounding shake. "...come on."

"no! simon we–" his breath catches in his throat, heart constricting painfully beneath his sternum as he grips the front of ghost's vest in desperation. why was ghost giving up so easily? didn't he care? didn't he want to find you?

ghost lowers his gaze, tearing away from the distraught expression on the sergeant's face. "they're gone, soap."

"shut the fuck up!" johnny growls, despair seeping into his voice with every second that passes without you. he tries to shake ghost's hands off, but he doesn't budge. "ye dinnae ken that! they're still here somewhere, we cannae leave without 'em!"

he's gripping your tags like a lifeline, the metal searing against his palm and heavier than anything else he'd ever carried. he shouldn't have them, they shouldn't be in his hand, they should be around your neck, you should be here, with him, and not…

it's too much. his knees give out from under him and, despite ghost's firm grip on his shoulders, he sinks to the floor with his head in his hands.

"simon, fuck– please…" it's a whisper, under his breath, but he knows ghost heard from how he crouches down beside him, laying an arm over his heaving shoulders as he steadily begins to sob.

it's not real. it can't be real. he wants this to be a nightmare so fucking badly, but the pain in his chest is far too real, his tears burning tracks down his face, the weight of your absence pressing down on him and crushing him under the pressure.

he barely notices when price and gaz appear in the hall ahead of them, just about registering the sound of the debris crunching under their boots as they approach. the pair don't say anything as they take in the scene, looking down with furrowed brows at where johnny and ghost are crouched on the floor.

the captain opens his mouth to ask, but ghost cuts him of with a solemn shake of his head.

words are exchanged, but johnny doesn't hear them. his head feels impossibly light, an expanding pressure beneath his temples that makes it hard to think. the ringing keeps getting worse.

the sound of gunfire makes it through the fog. gaz and ghost each take one of his arms, hauling him to his feet and essentially dragging him after the captain as they make their way back out of the building. he can't bring himself to fight them. he blinks, and finds himself strapped into his seat, the one next to him hauntingly empty.

price is talking into the radio, to laswell he assumes, but johnny doesn't register anything he says – anything except the last two words:

"...one k.i.a."

the air is thick with a kind of tension he's never felt before, a shroud of numbness that he can't seem to shake. when they land it follows them, seeping into the air on base and pushing down on whoever crosses their path. none of them have to ask to understand what happened.

johnny keeps your tags, clutches them close to his heart, and practically bites the head off of anyone who tries to take them from his white-knuckled grip, even as he gets checked out in the medical wing. his quietness puts the medics on edge, he can tell. something about the way he doesn't even flinch when they cleanse his wounds, the polar opposite to his his usual talkative nature, it tells them there's no use trying to console him. they try to convince him to let the tags go, but he doesn't acknowledge their words.

the broken chain stays firmly wrapped around his palm until he's staring down his own hollow face in the bathroom mirror. he'd turned the sink on fifteen minutes ago to wash the blood away, the water so hot it fogs up his reflection, but he can't bring himself to put his hands under the stream.

because it's your blood, not just the usual grime from missions. if he washes it off, he's washing you off, and he doesn't want to do that, no matter how disgusting it is.

there's a knock at the door, and only then does he realise how long he's been staring at the red that decorates his hands. he still makes no effort to move. 

despite his lack of response, gaz opens the door and meets his eyes in the mirror. there's a pause as he waits for johnny to say something, but when he only lets the silence go on, he takes it upon himself to approach.

"soap…" he utters, brows tilting in concern watching his friend continue to stare absently into the mirror. with a deep sigh, kyle takes his empty fist and pries his fingers from his palm. johnny's eyes gravitate to the fresh blood that wells up in the crescent indents. watching the red droplets fall, disappearing into the running water, the pain finally registering in his mind when kyle presses a cloth to his hand.

the sting of the hot water is there, a distant feeling as johnny allows him to wash the blood away, never saying a word as he watches kyle's efforts, like an observer of his own form, right there but looking in from the outside.

kyle reaches for your tags, but his fingers barely brush the metal before johnny is shoving him back with a rush of anger that happens so fast he doesn't even have time to process his own reaction.

with a thud, kyle's back hits the wall and for a moment neither of them dare move. they watch each other in silence, wide-eyed shock mirrored in both their expressions.

"i…" i'm sorry. the words catch in his chest, falling into the void there and never escaping for gaz to hear. he can't let him touch your tags. it's the only part of you he has left. "...don't touch 'em."

kyle squeezes his eyes shut, breathing a deep sigh through his nose. "alright, i'm sorry, i won't touch them." his tone is low and careful as he steps closer again, hands open so johnny can see them. he feels like a feral animal, being coaxed to let kyle approach. "but you need to rest, mate."

the weeks blend together after that day. some days johnny feels like the shock will never wear off, like he's living on autopilot. others, it all comes crashing down on him and even dragging himself out of bed becomes a challenge.

his dreams are plagued with images of you, lifeless and cold. it stops him from sleeping most nights, but others are filled with memories of your life together playing on loop, a constant reminder of what he can never have again.

the room you used to share is always filled with flowers; gardenias, gladioli, forget-me-nots, and anything else he sees that he thinks you'd like. when they wilt, and eventually die, he presses the petals in the pages of his sketchbook, keeping them in a box next to the very first flowers he ever got you, the memories preserved forever under your – his bed.

that same sketchbook that's filled with page after page of your image, some from the multitude of pictures he keeps of you, and when he inevitably runs out of references, he draws you from memory. it gets to the point where he can't pick up a pencil without your face haunting him; you always did love his art, even if he didn't think it was any good.

he knows he's not the only one taking it hard. the others are different too; gaz is quieter, something more serious in his eyes now. the captain doesn't appear moved on the surface, and neither does ghost, but when they look at the empty seat where you used to sit, the memory of you is evident in the way their shoulders deflate ever so slightly.

once word spreads about what exactly happened, the never-ending condolences and pitying looks from the people around base gets old very quickly. they tell him how they're so sorry for his loss and what happened to you was so tragic, and it shouldn't annoy him as much as it does, but he can't help the anger that bubbles up in his chest when they talk about you.

he doesn't want to hear it, and every time he has to listen to their pitying comments it only makes him resent them more. they didn't know you, they didn’t care, they probably didn't even know who you were before you died. they could never hope to understand what you meant to him, to the taskforce, the gap in their team that you left behind.

it's when someone suggests moving on from you that it all finally bubbles over.

six months later, a long time since that day but somehow no time at all. he'd gone out for drinks for the first time in a while, after some gentle coercion from simon, along with another group of soldiers staying on base.

he didn't even want to go, not really, but something in him knew he couldn't carry on like he had been. he needed some form of normalcy, one night where he can pretend everything is fine and you're just waiting for him back home, to just forget.

it didn't take him long to realise going out with them was a mistake. almost immediately he was dragged into a conversation with a few guys from another unit, and despite his many attempts they just wouldn't leave him be.

somehow, after about an hour of mindless chatter, they land on the topic of their love lives and recent conquests, and johnny immediately felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up. he wanted to slip away, avoid what he knew was coming at any cost, but he couldn't get away fast enough.

one of them brings up your name, they all look to him with a sort of curiosity that makes his skin crawl. they ask him if he's planning on staying hung up on you forever. johnny says it's only been six months. one of them laughs and tells him it's just sad, and from the looks of it you weren't anything special.

johnny smashes a glass over his head. price benches him for a few weeks after that.

it's hell, being left behind, alone, while the others went on like usual, and truthfully he starts to resent them all, bit by bit from the first time he's left on the tarmac. it felt like they didn't care, that johnny's heart, his life, his soul has changed but they carried on without looking back once. he isolates and shuts them out in a fit of misplaced anger, building the walls around his heart higher and higher and letting that resentment fester.

the day of your funeral brings it all crashing down. after all those months of waiting, johnny didn't even make it more than five lines into the speech he'd prepared before he's breaking down and stumbling out the side door in a hyperventilating mess. simon follows behind like his shadow, sitting down with him when he slides down the wall with a hand clutching his chest. he cries into simon's shoulder for rest of the service, releasing all the pent up anguish he'd been trying to keep inside in a catharsis he didn't realise he needed. 

when they get back to base the next morning, johnny’s practically begging to be allowed back in the field. he found himself missing the chaos, the unpredictability of the battlefield was where he was in his element. this job was how you met, how you got together, how you lived. he never felt closer to you than when he was out in the field with adrenaline pumping through his veins.

it takes some convincing, but price gives in and everything feels like it's back to normal. missions are quieter than they'd ever been, but johnny finds it doesn't bother him anymore. he feels your presence by his side like the sun on his back, always with him, like his guardian angel.

it's six more months before anything changes.

in the back of the helicopter, a few minutes out from the landing site, an oddly comforting sense of déjà vu washes over him. the bright blue expanse of the sky, the warmth of the sun on his skin, he almost feels that if he turned to his left, he'd see you sitting there with that same smile lighting up your face.

his fingers tighten around your tags.

"you watchin', bonnie?" he presses his lips to the cool metal, feeling your name under his skin as he mumbles to himself. his gaze finds the roof of the helicopter, and even without looking he knows the others are watching him, that familiar solemn look on their faces.

they were doing this for you. everything johnny did was for you. he puts your tags safely away in the pocket if his vest closest to his heart.

the helicopter jolts as it lands, and with no more than a second's hesitation he's shooting up from his seat, a renewed energy flooding his body to the tips of his fingers. they step out into the biting air, a chill than not even the afternoon sun could stave off, and quickly begin their march into the small facility.

"you two, take that side. gaz, with me." price commands, and with a sharp nod from the three of them, they split up and begin their canvassing. they were here for intel, but there was no guarantee they were alone, despite the emptiness of the halls they move through.

their footsteps echo off the walls, only the distant howling of the wind outside to accompany them. the hairs on the back of johnny's neck were on end, an unease setting off alarm bells in the back of his mind following behind ghost.

the déjà vu from earlier isn't comforting anymore. he doesn't feel you watching over him, and the feeling only gets stronger as they approach a doorway ahead, bathed in a red light.

ghost pauses in the entrance, looking back at johnny and waiting for his affirming nod before pushing forward. the room is empty, the same as the rest of the building, save for the table sitting against the far wall.

there's something else there, he notices as he creeps closer to get a better look. a frown darkens his expression. it's a laptop, untouched and central on the table, a strange contrast to the almost methodical emptiness around it.

"oi, check this." johnny calls, turning around as ghost stalks over with a similar confusion on his face.

"that what we're here for?" he asks, examining the laptop with a deep frown casting shadow over his eyes.

"looks like it." johnny replies, slowly and carefully picking it up as his frown deepens. he was half expecting it to somehow blow up, but when he lifts the screen it lights up to the desktop with no issue. "that's convenient."

"very convenient..." ghost grunts, jerking his head in the direction of the door and speaking into the radio as he walks ahead of johnny. "price, we've got it. headin' to exfil now."

back on base a few hours later, the four of them with the addition of laswell sit around the table in a meeting room with the doors firmly shut, eyes locked onto the laptop with rapt tension as gaz opens the only file they could recover from the device.

the video starts abruptly with 'the mask' – the pretentious alias of man that heads the organisation they've been steadily eliminating all this time – in front of the camera, the dingy room behind him barely lit, the walls splattered with what johnny could only assume was blood.

"i trust that my message has found you well, task force one-four-one." his voice comes through the speakers, crackly and distorted by the low quality recording. "you have been relentless in your pursuit of us, and i applaud you for your efforts, but it's time to put an end to this."

johnny looks back at price, watching as his expression hardens and his fingers dig into his arms where they're crossed over his chest. it's obvious they've been set up, but it's too late to be concerned with that now. the problem now is how they're going to continue knowing the enemy has information on them that they shouldn't have.

the sound of something being dragged brings his attention back to the video, facing the screen again to see another masked man dumping a person with a bag over their head onto a chair in the centre of the room.

"i have something i believe you will be interested in." the chuckle is audible in his voice even beneath the mask and through the screen.

their wrists and ankles are tied together, and if it weren't for the laboured rise and fall of their chest, johnny wouldn't be sure if they were even alive.

"fuck– a hostage?" price spits, and even without looking he knows laswell is already working on finding a location, if the sound of her rapidly typing is any indication.

"something very… precious to you."

the figure moves to stand behind the person in the chair and yanks the bag from their head. he grabs their jaw and forces them to look up, a sickening laugh meeting johnny's ears as they make eye contact with the camera. 

it's…

it's you.

you're beaten and bruised and covered head to toe in blood, but it's undoubtedly you when the faceless man yanks your head up.

johnny's sure his heart stops.

you're alive. you've been alive all this time. in the hands of a terrorist, and within an inch of your life, but…

you're alive.

"drop your investigation of us, and i will let them live." the masked man stalks back around to your side, still holding your jaw in a vice grip. the way you cower, as much as you can with that man's filthy hands on you, it breaks something in johnny. how long have you been in their hands, how long have you been abused by them?

how long have you been waiting for him?

he feels sick to his stomach, but he can't tear his eyes away. the lacerations on your face, the endless bruises littering your skin – when he spots the ones around your neck, he has to swallow down the bile – and how you just seem so tired, barely even fighting to keep your eyes open.

the masked man looks down to you again, pausing as he directs you to look at him through what seems like a black eye. the five of them watch, frozen by shock or anger or both, as the man rears his hand back and slaps you across the face so hard your head whips in the other direction. a pained, defeated sound escapes you, and johnny’s sure a knife to the chest would hurt less.

"do not disappoint me, captain price, or your sergeant will regret it."

the video cuts to black.

the sight of your face is burned into johnny's retinas, every time he blinks your features are there, dripping in your own blood, the only thing he can see.

"kate, tell me you can find this." price growls behind him, his words sounding distant to johnny's ears.

she hums distractedly. "working on it."

their conversation doesn't register, floating in one ear and straight out the other. you're alive. he can get you back, he can hold you in his arms again. it's like his prayers have been answered for once in his life, and it may be some cruel trick from god to find you like this but johnny finds himself praying his thanks anyway.

"johnny…?" simon lays a hand on his shoulder, turning him in his chair to make worried eye contact with his shell-shocked expression. it jolts him out of his thoughts, the energy of the room a controlled kind of frantic as he comes back down to earth.

"that's– it's them, they're–" johnny sputters, gripping ghost's forearm with an absent desperation in his glassy eyes, "simon, they're alive."

he can't stop thinking about how empty your expression looked, the way you didn't have any fight left, and the gravity of what's been happening to you since the moment he lost you slowly creeps up on him.

have you given up hope of them finding you?

"we'll get 'em back, soap, listen to me," price drops a heavy, grounding hand on his other shoulder, halting his spiralling train of thought, "they're comin' home." his voice is resolute, no room for argument where he speaks it almost like a command.

johnny can only nod. 

his head is still light as more rushed conversation happens around him. simon's hand is still on his shoulder, and that might be the only reason he hasn't completely fallen apart yet, but the thread is pulling taught enough to snap. his nails carve dents into his palms but he doesn't have the mind to unfurl them.

"sir, we've got a hit." gaz speaks up from where he's leaned over kate's shoulder, a determined glint in his eye when he meets the captain's gaze. johnny’s head snaps in his direction, his pulse quickening with every word that sparks new hope in his chest. "two hundred klicks northeast of where we found the laptop."

"good work, you two," price is pacing back and forth, scratching his beard with a calculating look on his face. they watch him for a moment, waiting for his command on what their next move will be, but johnny finds his patience wearing incredibly thin.

"the fuck we waitin' for? let's get out there'n go after the wee bastards!" he growls, his narrowed gaze darting between price and the others as he steadily grows more and more restless.

simon shakes his head from beside him, "hold your horses."

"this is delicate, we have to do this one right." price pauses, his eyes losing their hardness as he meets johnny's desperate face. "i know how much this means to you, but you're too close to this, soap."

the pause that follows that is so thick with tension it makes it hard to breath. a boiling type of rage bubbles up in his chest, extending to every trembling limb and turning his vision red. there was no way in hell he wasn't going to be there for you every step of the way when – not if – they rescued you.

"ye can get yersel' right tae fuck!" he spits, his face contorted with anger as he shoots up from his chair and points an accusatory finger at the captain. "that's too far, price, ye cannae keep me outta this!"

"johnny, sit down." simon warns, using the hand still on his shoulder to put some space between him and price, but johnny doesn't budge; this was far too important.

"yer aff yer heid, both of ye's! if ye won't let me come, i'll go mysel', ye fuckin' hear?" he growls, shaking free of simon's hand. his glare travels between him and price, hands wound into fists at his sides.

the air turns heavy as they stare each other down. if price thinks he'll back down on this, johnny would love nothing more than to prove him wrong.

he's moments away from meeting his fist to price's face when gaz stands up and gets between them. "that's his other half, sir. respectfully, he deserves to be part of this." he reasons, giving price a firm look and a small nod to johnny. "you'd be the same in his position."

the tension is palpable. he watches  over gaz's shoulder as the captain deliberates, clearly having an internal battle over the decision, but eventually he sighs and fixes johnny with a stern look.

price closes the distance between them, patting gaz on the arm as he passes. "screw your head on, mactavish. we only get one shot at this, i need to know i can trust you not to fuck it up."

a spark of hope makes johnny's heart race, and he gives price a single resolute nod of confirmation. "i won't, sir."

laswell stands and walks around the table to stand beside price, a similarly firm expression. "we have to play this carefully. they wanted us to find that laptop, i have no doubt they wanted us to find where they are too."

"so what's our angle?" gaz asks.

laswell and price share a look.

"this has to be off the books, there's no way we'll get clearance for this." laswell answers, her expression turning noticeably darker, looking over to price as she continues, "if we want them back alive, we'll have to act fast. that means we're on our own."

the captain nods with no hesitation. "we are getting my sergeant back. i don't care how we have to do it."

they're loading into the back of a helo not even an hour later. the five of them, along with two field medics and the pilot, with the strict instructions in johnny's head to bring you home or to not come back at all.

there's only one coherent thought racing through his mind for the entire; you. getting you back, taking you home, finding the man that took you away from him – and hurt you – and making him pay.

he fishes your tags out of his pocket and presses them to his lips in a lingering kiss, just like he always does. soon, he thinks, it would be you he'd be kissing, not just a remnant of you.

the flight passes by so quickly it's almost as if he'd blinked and they were landing again.

the air is glacial as they ready themselves, preparing for the mask to put up a fight that they fully intend to win. the plan was decided on during the journey; kate and ghost would provide support from a distance while price, gaz, and johnny would confront the bastard head on. his focus is razor sharp, marching through the trees and underbrush, blood rushing in his ears and jaw clenched painfully tight.

the sky is just as strikingly blue as the day he lost you.

bring you home, or don't come back.

they reach a break in the trees, surrounding the small facility they tracked the video to that looked more like a derelict warehouse than a base. either way, the dark figure of their target is visible against the brick wall, surrounded by a number of his own soldiers – johnny counts six as he, price, and gaz make themselves known coming through the treeline. they share a quick look; they know how this will end.

"well met, captain," the mask calls, slowing to a stop and leaving a few metres of space between himself and the three of them, "will you make the right choice, or will your sergeant suffer for your pride, i wond–"

his monologue is cut short by a shot from the darkness of the treeline and lodging mercilessly into the base of his throat. his deadweight hits the ground with a thud that echoes, and in less than a second bullets are flying.

soap tightens his grip on his gun, raising it to glare down the sights and firing at the soldier nearest to him and dropping him with one well placed bullet to the leg and another to the face once he was on the floor.

another shot from the treeline drops one more; four left.

gaz and price take out another two between them in a similar fashion to soap, leaving two still standing – one of whom was advancing fast with the barrel of his gun pointed at soap while the other backed away.

one more shot rings out from the trees and one more body falls, but the last hostile was far too close for comfort now, johnny had no choice but to tackle him to the ground, narrowly avoiding being shot himself on the way down.

a few seconds pass as they wrestle on the ground, both trying desperately to gain the upper hand but falling just short because of the other. from his peripheral soap can see price running to his aid, but his momentary distraction allowed his assailant to take the upper hand and roll on top of him.

hands constrict around his neck, cutting off his airflow, but a well timed shot from price sends him falling over sideways, sputtering blood from the wound in his side.

soap heaves and cough, pulling air back into his lungs and glaring at the body of the man who almost got the better of him. this only meant they were one step closer to getting you back; he was one step closer to having you in his arms again. it didn't matter if he got hurt in the process.

price's outstretched hand suddenly appears in his vision, "get up soap, we've got a job to do."

his daze melts away and he takes the captain's hand, allowing himself to be pulled upright with an affirming nod shared between them.

"good aim, ma'am." gaz calls over the radio, looking down his nose at the steadily declining state of the mask; his infamous facade now cracked and broken, revealing the agonised face beneath.

"bring 'em home, boys." kate replies, and though he can't see her face johnny can imagine the commanding look she's undoubtedly wearing.

gaz backs away as johnny crosses the mess of crimson and dirt to where the mask lays, sprawled out and immobilised by his injuries but still very much alive, giving the fellow sergeant a respectful nod as he goes. "he's all yours, mate."

johnny stands over his fading form, watching with a detached look in his eye as the blood spills from the gaping wound in his neck with every struggled breath, his disjointed intake of air and the pathetic sputters as he inhales his own viscera. there's not a shred of mercy in him as he gazes down at the man, every bit of agony was completely deserved for what he did to you. the death that claws at him would be a blessing.

he gurgles to johnny, raising a weak arm to brush the hem of his trousers as he attempts to expel the words, "pl–ea– plea-se–"

johnny scoffs, dry and venomous. he has half a mind to leave him to suffer until the life finally bleeds from him, but the pure rage he feels listening to this bastard plead for help after putting you through hell for a year is far too strong for him to restrain.

it's unconscious, the way johnny's arm raises to point the barrel of his pistol squarely at the centre of his forehead. he pauses for a moment, if only to see the fear creep into the bastard's expression before his fingers squeeze the trigger and the light is gone from his eyes.

his chest stops heaving and his hand drops back to the mud,  leaving nothing but a few bloody fingerprints in his wake.

johnny pulls the trigger again.

and again, and again, and again, until his face is nothing more than a cavity of gore and lead and the ringing in his ears blocks out everything else around him.

a firm hand comes down on his shoulder and it’s only then does he notice the tension in his muscles and the fierce sneer pulling at his features. his eyes snap to the dark figure in the corner of his vision, meeting the bone white of simon's mask and the frown underneath.

"that'll do, johnny." simon murmurs, his own darkened eyes glaring down at the mangled corpse laying at their feet. he nods, somewhat absently, and turns away from the offending body.

there were more important things he needed to keep his head on straight for.

neither him or simon spare the remains of the mask another glance as they leave him behind. price and gaz are waiting by the entrance for them, and as soon as they're close enough they head together into the dark corridors of the building.

as the creep through the abandoned building, now deep in the cold basement, weapons poised and on high alert, there's a new sense of dread that forms in the back of his mind; what if you're not here after all? what if the mask was bluffing and you're already dead?

johnny grits his teeth and shakes his head to rid himself of that damning train of thought. he couldn't afford to think like that, he wouldn't, but another corridor of empty rooms has his heart sinking like an anchor to his stomach. he's trying to stay hopeful, but every dead end only makes him feel worse.

price grips his shoulder, firm and comforting, with a look in his eye to match as he catches johnny's gaze. "we'll find 'em, soap." 

"i know." he replies, but there's a waver in his voice despite the certainty of his words. price doesn't release his gaze or his shoulder until he moves to follow the others.

he doesn't say much else as the search continues. the ringing in his ears is back, amplified by the eerie silence of the halls. he can feel the air getting colder after each empty room the clear.

the time passes arbitrarily, until there's one last room to check. johnny watches gaz and ghost pry it open, the sound of the lock breaking only just reaching him through the fog over his senses.

gaz pauses once the door swings open, his eyes locked onto something in the room as they widen dramatically. he still doesn't tear his gaze away as his jaw falls open, something frantic in the way he yells, "soap!"

a spark of hope strikes his heart and travels to the very ends of his limbs, a new burst of energy filling him as he shoves past his teammates to stand in the doorway and look into the room himself.

it's you.

curled into yourself in the corner of the damp cell, shivering with your face buried in your knees with your hands clamped over your ears. it's almost uncanny, how small you look. the tremble in your limbs, the fear in your quickened breaths, it was the exact opposite of how you should be, but despite it all…

it's really you.

johnny feels his heart swell painfully with relief, and without another second of hesitation he's skidding to his knees beside you and gripping the cold skin of your wrists. you let out a muffled sob at the contact, and johnny feels his blood turn cold when it meets his ears.

"don't!" you cry, weak and desperate. johnny's caught off guard with how you try to rip yourself away from him, the shakes that wrack your body only increasing when he keeps his hold on you. "get off! please– please don't!"

his heart cracks anew at the distress in your hoarse voice. he feels his eyes well up with hot tears that he has to fight to keep from falling.

"hey, it's me! it's johnny, it's your johnny! look at me, sweetheart, i'm here!" he tries to calm you with his words, keeping his voice low between you both, but you keep your eyes screwed tightly shut.

johnny lets go of your wrists to cup your face in his hands instead, gently turning your head towards him and using his thumbs to stroke soft shapes into your cheeks. the gesture makes your breath hitch audibly, and your eyes slowly open to meet his. "that's it, I'm here, i got ye, yer alright."

"don't– i don't– i can't…" whatever you're trying to say is broken up by the effort it takes you to keep breathing through your sobs. you still try to lean away from his touch, but johnny doesn't let you move far. he has to bite the inside of his cheek to hold back his own breakdown.

"no-one's gonna hurt you again, darlin', i promise ye." he murmurs, searching your glassy eyes while he continues to smooth his thumbs over the skin of your face, wet with your tears. "c'mere, i've got ye…"

with little more resistance from you, johnny gathers you into his arms and presses you close to his chest, they way he'd been dreaming off all the time you'd been apart. he pays no mind to the way the hard ground digs into his knees, and instead focuses on feeling the rise and fall of your ribcage against his own, your heartbeat under his fingertips, and the very real sound of your voice.

"you– j-johnny…" you stutter, your hiccuping sobs gradually fading away as you grip the bulk of his vest like a lifeline. "are you… real?"

"i'm real, darlin'," his voice cracks despite his efforts to stay strong for you. he presses his lips to the tip of your head in a lingering kiss, partly so you won't see the glossy tears in his eyes as he tries to stamp them down. "i'm here. i swear, i'm never lettin' you out of my sight again."

the simple feeling of your weight leaning against him is so overwhelming he's worried he might faint. he lets you calm down, rubbing soothing patterns up and down your arms and back and wherever he can reach, even when the position becomes uncomfortable and the dampness from the floor has seeped into his bones.

eventually though, he does pull back, softly shush you when you protest in the thought that he's leaving you, and cups your head in his warm hands.

"let's get you home, eh?" he smiles. your uncertain eyes dart between his for a moment, searching, before you nod. it's weak and hesitant, but the gesture makes his grin stretch a little wider all the same. "c'mon then, think ye can walk?"

johnny sighs when you shake your head, looking down and seeming almost embarrassed by your frail condition as if any of this was your fault. if he could kill that bastard again, he wouldn't even hesitate.

it's no bother to him to haul you up with him, holding you carefully against his chest with an arm under your knees and the other around your back. you still gingerly grip the top of his vest, your free arm looping itself around his neck and pulling yourself as close to him as you can muster. he gives a concise nod to the others, crowded in the doorway, and they begin the trek back to the helo.

the sunlight causes you to bury your face in the crook of johnny's neck, shielding your eyes from the blindingly bright rays. he allows himself a moment of distraction as they cross the clearing to revel in the feeling. he'd feel the sun on his face again, but he'd never again take for granted a single moment he spends with you.

they're almost to the edge of the clearing, almost departed from that haunted place with a graveyard of mangled bodies in their wake, but he doesn't quite make it to the treeline.

a single gunshot echoes through the clearing and before any of them can react, the shell has found its mark in johnny's leg. the force and shock of it sends him tumbling to the floor, scrambling through the blossoming pain to brace his fall on his arms so he won't land on top of you.

there's yelling, returning fire, but johnny can only focus on covering your body with his own, shielding you from any harm that might find you. even through the agony travelling up his thigh, even when the air is still again, and even when his own eyes are threatening to follow yours in falling shut and succumbing to the weakness that drags him down.

when did you shut your eyes? johnny slips his hand under your hand, grunting in his chest as his weight shifts, and to his horror his fingers come back red.

no, no no. he only just got you back, he cannot lose you again.

he doesn't even register that he's shouting – for help, a medic, something – until his weight is being heaved over ghost's shoulder and you're being taken by price, the cracks in his stony expression only fuel the sick dread making its way up johnny's throat.

back in the helo, in no time but he doesn't remember the journey, he tries to push the medic away who starts working on his leg, slurring for them to help you first. they ignore him, obviously, and if he had any energy left he would've berated them for not listening. ghost holds him down as they secure the tourniquet, and as his vision finally begins to fade, he turns his head to the side so you can be the last thing he sees as he slips into unconsciousness.

for once, he doesn't dream of you.

there are no images of your body, laying motionless under the rubble. he sleeps in blissful oblivion, his head completely silent, and wakes a day and a half later feeling more rested than he ever has despite the wound in his leg.

simon is by his bedside when he finally opens his eyes. it's late, the room dark apart from the fluorescent light bleeding in from the gap under the door and simon's phone highlighting his balaclava. he notices the moment johnny turns his head to watch him, because of course he does, and reaches over to turn on the lamp on the side table without a word.

"mornin', lt…" johnny mumbles, voice hoarse and eyes heavy as he pushes through the tiredness clinging to his senses to sit up in his bed. the light is abrasive to his eyes, but he blinks through the sting and manages a lazy smile towards simon.

"evenin', more like." he replies, a trace of humour in the way his eyes lift at the corners. "been asleep nearly thirty-eight hours."

johnny baulks at that, suddenly feeling a lot more awake from the cold shock that passes through him. "thirty–? jesus wept, i need'ta–" he sputters, wide-eyed as he throws the blankets from his legs and starts to get up, "i need'ta see 'em, how–"

before he can get his feet on the ground however, he's pushed back by simon's hand on his chest, forcing him to sit back and acknowledge the pain radiating from his thigh.

"they're fine, johnny." simon tells him, punctuated with a roll of his eyes before he continues, "been in and out of consciousness, but they're stable."

johnny sighs deeply, relief flooding through his body as he slumps back against his pillows. you're okay, you're alive, you're here, and you're home and safe. his thoughts have already begun racing and despite how much his wounds are aching, he's already set his mind to how he's going to see you as soon as possible.

as if sensing his plotting, simon leans forward to catch his gaze and even through the mask johnny can see the look he's sending him.

"i'm goin' back to bed, so don't do anythin' stupid." simon begins, pushing himself to stand using the arms of his chair and narrowing his eyes as he leans even closer. "if you rip these stitches, i'll put 'em back in myself, clear?"

"crystal, lt." johnny nods, and simon holds his stare as one last warning before he turns to leave – but not without giving him a firm pat just below his bandages that makes him wince, feeling the silent threat behind the gesture as he watches simon exit silently out into the hall.

johnny swings his legs over the side of the bed the second the door swings shut again, a sharp intake of breath following the movement as his weight shifts. surely he could get to where you are without making his wound any worse, he hard could it be?

he makes it two doors down before he realises that this might've been a bad idea. the muscles of his thigh burn and his breath comes out in heavy, stuttered huffs, but despite the strain on his injured body he refuses to give up before he's seen that you're okay with his own two eyes.

the fourth door he peeks through is where he finds you, the sight of your sleeping form instantly overpowering the pain in his leg. he shoulders open the door and beelines in a limp to your bedside, his gaze never once leaving your face until he's close enough to grasp your hand in a slow, featherlight touch like you'd disappear if he made a wrong move. you don't react as he strokes your knuckles, but johnny is more than content to just sit with you, perched on the edge of your bed and taking in the way your breath fills your lungs, the gentle thrum of your pulse under his fingertips on your wrist.

time passes easily like this, until the minutes have gone by and he can find the strength to lift himself into the bed beside you, snaking his arm around your neck and shoulder to hold you close as he settles in, careful not to agitate any of your own injuries.

"i missed you, my love," johnny whispers, dragging his fingers up and down your arm, pressing his lips to the crown of your head, "i missed you so much…"

your fingers twitch in his hold, the steady rhythm of your breathing hitching as a shaky sigh leaves you. johnny freezes, his hand stilling on your bicep and his eyes growing wide.

"john–" the sound of his name passing your lips pulls him out of his shock, and he pulls back to watch your eyes twitch and flutter open. your voice is raspy and still weak, but not even an angel choir could sound sweeter to him. "johnny…?"

"i'm here–" his voice breaks, but he continues anyway, "i'm here, i got ye." he murmurs, careful to keep his voice low despite how much he wants to cry from joy. "how ye feelin'? you comfy, sweetheart? any pain?" he asks, shifting the both of you to sit against the pillows and keep you nestled against his side.

"i'm okay–" your hoarse response is interrupted by a cough that devolves into wet hiccups, your hands curling tightly into his shirt as you look up at him, "it– am i– it's–"

"shushsh, i'm here darlin', i've got ye." he coos, his eyes welling up to match yours, resuming his soothing touch over your arm. you stay like that, for minutes that could've been hours, gazing into each other's eyes while you softly cry and johnny comforts you.

it aches him to see you cry, but he can't help but awe at how beautiful you still manage to be, with cuts and bruises and tears littering your face. his heart swells in his chest with the love he holds for you.

your hand finds its place on johnny's cheek, your staggered breaths calming down at last. he covers it with his own to feel more of your skin on his. a wince crosses your expression as you try to lean up towards him, but he stops you before you hurt yourself any further and leans his forehead against yours.

you pull his face even closer, digging your fingertips into his cheek in an almost uncomfortable sensation, before brushing your lips against his in something like disbelief. "am i dreaming?"

"no, my love," he utters against your skin, taking your bottom lip between his teeth, nudging your cheek with his nose, "this is real."

your breath hitches again when he closes the little space left between you and presses his lips to yours, encapsulating you in a kiss that holds every ounce of desperation he's been holding on to. it's passionate, all-encompassing, and it reminds him of the first time he kissed you all those years ago. your free hand travels up to his hair, tangling the longer strands around your fingers and drawing a groan from deep in his chest.

he's reluctant to let you when you pull away for air, tasting the salt from your last stray tears as he chases your lips.

"say it again…?" you ask in a murmur, your eyes fluttering open again. the look you give him, one of pure hope that you won't suddenly wake up alone, it makes johnny's heart miss a beat.

he squeezes your hand, turning slightly to leave a kiss on your palm. "it's real, bonnie. i'll die before i ever let you go again."

your mouth opens to say something, but you stop yourself just before you can choke the words out, fresh tears building in your eyes again. johnny gives you an encouraging nod, holding your gaze while you muster the courage to voice what you're thinking.

"i–" you begin, your words catching on a lump in your throat, "i watched you leave without me, i had to watch the helicopter disappear and, and you…" your voice fades, eyes darting between his while they gloss with unshed tears once again.

"sweetheart…" he frowns, his heart breaking anew from the anguish that he never wants to hear in your voice.

you swallow thickly, your hold on his hair tightening ever so slightly. "i thought– i didn't think you'd ever find me…"

"i'd always find you." johnny replies, his resolute tone leaving no room for argument. he touches his forehead to yours again and lowers his voice to continue, "even if i had to go tae the ends of the earth, i'd never stop lookin' fer you."

his words release the fresh tears you've been holding back, and with a quiet sob you drop your face to the crook of his neck, gripping his hair and face tighter still. johnny softly shushes you, rocking the two of you back and forth as much as he can with you held close in his arms.

"you're staying with me tonight…" your voice is muffled, spoken into his neck and sending goosebumps rippling across his skin. a comforting nostalgia follows your words, one he can't help but chuckle at.

"would'nae have it any other way, darlin'."

[tojjist]

“At Least” S. Gojo

☆ genre: angst to fluff (kinda)

☆ pairings: Gojo Satoru x f! reader

☆ summary: After Geto left, nothing has been the same. Especially not your relationship with Gojo Satoru. Once you decide to move to Kyoto for good, Gojo is less than pleased. But fate does not seem to want to let you go.

☆ cw: mentions of sex, depressed gojo, not spoiler free, hopping between timelines but like i added non-canon events, smoking, drinking, getting drunk, high school Gojo being a high school boy, cussing, mentions of drunk sex but it doesn’t happen, mentions character death (from the anime), gojo satoru (yes that's a trigger warning).

☆ wc : 5.6k

☆ a/n: this has been in the doing for so long? I've been waiting to have the chance to upload it for maybe a year now smh. Also was originally written for an irl of mine lmao

“Oh my god,” you emphasize each word, pushing the wooden chair away with your knee. “Satoru, is it yours?”

His black pupils, lined with iris the color of morning skies, study your figure from behind the shaded glasses, pink lips quirking slightly upwards in approval of your attention.

“Nah, it's only staying with me for a week,” he stated, watching nervously as you strode over to him. “His owner is away for some business.”

Your attention remained fixed on the pet in Satoru's long, long arms. Your face lit up when a bark escaped the infant animal. “Can I hold it?”

Satoru watched over you carefully, pleading eyes coming in line with his blues. You make it hard to say anything other than an immediate yes, but he tries to stretch out the conversation to his best ability.

“It's 400 yen for 10 minutes,” he muttered, sarcasm dripping from his words. He earned a look of amusement from you; a small victory. He then braced himself for the next part. Satoru bent down, meeting you eye-to-eye, and noticed your breath catching in anticipation. “Or... you can shorten your skirt.”

Your face took no time to grow hot, not giving any verbal answer besides the blank expression you stare at him with. For a second, Gojo let himself think he's the victor of this little challenge he started in his head. But he soon came to realize how grave of a mistake he's made.

You're not flustered, you're angry.

“You're such a fucking pervert,” you fume, eyes glaring daggers. He dares not move, noticing the way your eyes flutter over his face.

“You're truly unbelievable,” the shorter male chuckled, making sure he didn't bump into Satoru's now-bruised arm. “What were you even thinking?”

“I thought it was funny, y'know?” He huffed in response. Gojo's fingers ran through his own bright locks as he took a seat on the wood hung up by metal chains. "Besides, has she always been this strong? Physically, I mean."

Geto stared into the reddish sky of dusk, placing himself into a swing in turn and kicking the air so the swing would start moving. "I don't know. Girls are really full of surprises.”

He never thought, not in a million years, things would come to this. Ever since Gojo's last encounter with Geto after he, well, changed... Gojo became unable to face anyone quite the same way he did before.

How did he get here? How did things escalate to this? Thinking about it, Geto had shown signs of a change in his heart and mind. It was Satoru's fault, was it not? He should have done better. He should have noticed. How could he not have? wasn't he the strongest? Wasn't that his job? How could he be so bad at everything?

How could he fail everyone like this?

“Gojo-San?”

Your feminine voice cut his train of thought. He almost forgot the situation he is now stuck in. He's been doing that a lot: losing himself in thought, mind almost immune to the outer world until he temporarily lost his sense of self. Nothing felt quite the same any more. It was like the world had lost its color.

“Sorry- What's up?” He turned to you. Gojo-san, you called him. When did you stop using his given name? What's with the '-san'? Gojo hadn't realized that losing one person was the first step, and now he found himself deep in the road of losing everyone.

And now he's stuck in the elevator with the girl he had liked for so long. He couldn't find it in himself to say anything to you, to push your buttons like he always did or joke around. When did the world become so heavy? He does not know.

“Are you okay? You seemed off.”

Your face is devoid of any genuine emotion, seemingly expressionless. But your voice is laced with concern. Gojo could only guess you didn't want him thinking you pity him or anything of such. But if that isn't the case, he wouldn't know. He's too tired to bother thinking about it.

“Yeah, yeah. I'm fine,” he smiled in assurance, “Just bothered by, well, this-” he threw his hand in the way of the control panel. The elevator doors have been stuck for almost twenty minutes now. How pleasant.

“uh huh,” you sigh, turning back around. How did you turn so cold?

When the silence stretches, you start a conversation, hesitant at first. “By the way, I got accepted as a helper in a nursery in Kyoto,” you mutter, gaze avoiding his own. “they're expecting me to start work right after spring break.”

Spring break?

Holy shit. It hit him like a truck. That’s barely a week and a half from now.

“Spring break? Why so soon?”

“That’s when the students file back in,” you mumble, fiddling with the watch placed around your wrist. You pause to read the time, then turn to meet his eyes. “I’m leaving in four days to get settled.”

“Oh…” His breath caught, “Train?”

What a stupid question. He knows. Satoru has never been unintelligent, especially in conversing. But now his unintelligence shines through as if it’s his only trait. He’s glad you don’t question it.

“Yeah, I have no other form of transport really.”

“Well, uh…” He hates himself. He hates himself for not doing anything. He hates himself for being so weak and  cowardly, for being unable to keep his friends around him, for shutting everyone he holds close out. But now, he especially hates himself for being unable to feel happy for you, or to congratulate you on the opportunity, “come visit us every once in a while, yeah?”

Your mouth remains shut, only staring at the tall man before your eyes. The silence stretches between the two of you once again, and you don’t find it in you to speak of how you feel.

“You.. you know you could have died, right? We all could have b-but you…” You trail off, thoughts splattered like a spilled pot of ink. Although you seemed unfazed, in your mind you were anything but. Haibara, Riko, and all the losses that trailed and every event that followed has been stressful and nerve-wrecking. And even in the quietness and silence of the general atmosphere, it has been nearly impossible to find peace within yourself.

“Well, I didn’t. What happened had passed. Can you change that? I doubt so. No point in ‘if’ and ‘could’ve’.”

Before you could respond,the lights flickered back on. You grow unsure if you’ve struck a nerve, but that wasn’t what you meant. Gojo’s response had nothing to do with what you said, you were sure he knew exactly what your words were meant for. Why is he so scared of confronting it?

You don’t know. You could never hope to know because you and Gojo Satoru live in different worlds, the man who was only Satoru some time ago. You were worlds apart, yet  Satoru loved to play pretend that he lived in the same world as you, even when he stuck out like a sore thumb. But he was no longer. Ever since Geto left… it’s safe to say everyone has been changing slowly, deforming from their previous lives and personalities. But Satoru flipped, like the head and tail of a coin, he got himself a new face. He turned into Gojo Satoru; the strongest. A soul unalive. A broken boy in an ever growing body. A stranger.

Two days later you find yourself still roaming the campus , searching so desperately for something. Anything. A reason to stay, perhaps? You don’t find it anyway. You have no attachment as this place holds nothing but misery. Or that’s what you told yourself over and over as you packed your things.

Your steps were graceful, walking so cautiously as if careful to not wake someone up. Your fingers find rest on the old, dusty door frame, pushing yourself into the room that hadn’t been used for a good month or so. The classroom looked the same as it always did. Except for the shadow that loomed over it; a gray shade that sent chills down your spine. Or maybe it’s just your imagination. 

Then you spot something rather out of place. You’re sure you’ve never seen it before and although you know it’s none of your business, the way it tugs at the strings of your curiosity is undeniable.

It’s red, poking out of what you’re sure is Gojo’s desk. The gloomy classroom was no fit for paper with a color so vibrant. 

Your heart skips a beat when you glimpse the seat next to Satoru’s. You do your best to avoid looking at Geto’s desk any further. You busy yourself with the task at hand, reaching out for the mysterious paper hidden in the wooden desk. Shivers run up your arm at the texture of the scrunched paper.

You attempt to straighten it to your best ability, strained by his hard work of crumbling it with obvious frustration. you can barely make out the letters of your name in the middle of the paper, outlined by a messy circle. How Gojo of him. A few lines stick out of the ‘circle’, one of them has the name of a steakhouse somewhere in Tokyo. Another has a date, reading somewhere along February. It’s near impossible to make out what the small combination of letters say, especially when Satoru’s handwriting is closer to symbols than a comprehensible language.

The thought of it was so funny it didn’t feel like him at all. Satoru never planned anything. Every breath he took was based on pure impulse. Never would it have occurred to you that he thinks through things, let alone brainstorm.

The thought makes you smile. But the realization that he never asked you out because he changed his mind or everything that happened getting in his way makes your stomach churn unpleasantly. 

You decide it’s probably for the best to never bring it up. It would only make matters worse for both of you. Life ran its course; who are you to try and change it?

“I apologize, but my answer remains. I refuse to take part in this,” you spoke in an even tone. “I have a job and a life away from jujutsu. I’ve made it clear sorcery is not a part of my life anymore.”

"That’s completely understandable,” the old man argued, his voice hoarse with age. You’re pretty sure you hear anger further straining his voice, “but your technique is quite strong. That strength could be of great assistance if put to use.”

“Thank you, sir,” you dip your head, maintaining eye contact with the decaying man. “But I truly apologize. The decision is final.”

“If you ever do change your mind, please let us know. We’d be more than happy to hear it.”

You almost let a sigh of relief escape. Finally he gave up. You end up only nodding your head in response gratefully, retreating from the old man. As soon as you're safe and out of sight, you let your posture drop, eyes rolling back in annoyance. These guys are truly as relentless as ever.

You stopped upon a familiar scent catching in your nostrils. Lifting your head up, your eyes roam around, scanning the room for your friend.

“You look troubled,” Shoko approaches you, taking the cigarette out from between her teeth. “What’s with the face?”

“How is that man even alive,” you look at her, “he’s ancient.”

Your comment earns a light chuckle from the brunette. “I’m glad I never have to get caught up in this bullshit.”

“Blissed aren’t you,” you roll your eyes as you speak. “I shouldn’t have come in the first place, I knew they were going to do this.”

“It’s alright, you’re all done now. Here-” Your friend then lifts the cigarette up, putting it near your mouth. When you don’t show any resistance she, being the bad influence she has always been, proceeds to place it between your lips. You waste no time, making quick work of the drag you inhale, bringing the familiar cloud of toxic chemicals and tobacco into your lungs. Your expression relaxes, shifting into one of relief. Shoko scoffs playfully, muttering that you’re dramatic under her breath before she pulls her cigarette from you, taking in a drag.

“Satoru’s here, by the way,” Shoko didn’t need to look at you to guess the way your eyes snap towards her. She bites back a smile. “He’s calmed down. He’d even seem the same as long as you don’t squint too hard.”

“Good for him,” you mutter, trying to seem as unbothered and nonchalant as your accelerating heart rate would allow. You avoid looking at Shoko, trying to seem disinterested. You know she’d pretend you weren’t gawking at her the second she said his name.

“He’s trying, you know. He’s just as nervous as you are.”

“‘M not nervous,” you scoff, “For god’s sake. It’s been ten years already.”

Satoru is stressed. He's nervous, as Shoko put it. He’d spent so long trying to ignore the past, pretend the past wasn’t at all. He couldn’t confront it. He didn’t want to. Satoru knows what he’s done, he's aware that he hurt you the last time you two had interacted. And that was ten years ago. He even let you leave without so much as a goodbye. How could he look you in the eye and pretend nothing has ever happened?

Gojo didn’t want to face the consequences of what he’s done. More so what he hasn’t. So many things were left unsaid in the elevator that day. They’ve been hanging over Satoru ever since, weighing his heart down and wearing it out.

What if he’s met by another woman? Ten years change a lot as is. What if the eyes that meet his aren’t yours? What if he finds himself talking to a stranger that carries around your name and features? Of all the horrors Gojo Satoru had faced in his life, nothing caused dread to pool in the pit of his stomach like this thought does.

Shoko seems to find something beyond you interesting. You don’t bother to turn to see as the brunette has always been a little in her own head. She’s probably just dozed off.

“Hey, think you can hold this for me?” Shoko muttered once Gojo crossed her sight. She stands facing you, averting his gaze. “I’ll be right back, nature’s calling.”

From his distance, Gojo couldn’t make out what the two of you were saying. He watched as your shoulders shook, presumably in laughter. Shoko then made her away from you, barely sparing Satoru a glance.

Every step he took felt heavy, weights landing on his shoulders as he moved towards you. He watched smoke emerge from over your head. He didn’t know you smoked. And even though he’s not completely sure what you do for a living now, he’s not expecting any nursery to accept a smoker in their team.

His long strides finally arrived, opting to remain a step behind you. Close enough to make his presence known.

The aura was unmistakable, almost as if it could be physically sensed. You freeze in place, the cigarette remaining a few inches from your lips. Even after he changed his perfume to one a lot more manly and appealing, and clearly grew taller judging by the shadow he cast over you, his presence still had the same strength as it did before. If not stronger. Anyone else would say it’s intimidating. But you find surprising comfort in it.

“That’s going to kill you,” his hand  reached from over your head, making sure to not cause any unnecessary physical contact. His fingers slip the burning cigarette  from your grip. You find yourself unable to make a single move in response, only watching his actions unfold.

He took a step, moving closer, dimming the light from the roll by rubbing it against the metal bars, then throwing it off the balcony. “You’re too young to kill yourself like that.”

“That bitch Shoko set me up,” You hiss, regaining your composure. “Will you look who showed up. You’re killing the ecosystem by throwing waste like this, Gojo.”

Although you haven’t glanced his way yet, You were every bit sure his mouth was quirked in the same smug smirk he wore so much when you were younger. You could even hear it in his voice as he spoke, “You haven’t grown at all, have you?”

“Oh shut it,” you chuckle. “You’re still as immature as ever. How you could be a manchild at 27 is a wonder to me.”

27… It felt so weird to say it out loud. Weren’t you just 17 a few days ago?

“Oh, how you hurt me,” he says in exaggeration, his voice conveying anything but the hurt he claims to feel. “That isn’t very nice of you.”

“That’s rich coming from you,” You say. He laughs a little, you do too. But the silence that follows is not that of a joke. He knew what you’re referring to. Maybe he underestimated your last encounter’s effect on you.

The silence speaks for itself. It’s louder than any conversation you’ve had before. What now? What have we become? Is it of any use to try anymore? Neither of you had an answer to the question that began to surface with this interaction.

The questions remain hung in the air, dimming the atmosphere around you. Was this fate’s doing? Or his karma? Gojo has always been told he’s a god, but how could he be a higher form of life when he struggled so much to hold a conversation?

He’s about to speak again when you cut him off, muttering “here-” as you push your hand down the coat you wore. Your tongue pokes at the inside of your cheek as you search for the anonymous object.

You pull out a worn out paper, grown from what could have been a bright red to an orangish shade. His eyes study as you shove the paper in his  direction, eyes avoiding his gaze at all costs.

Seeing your bashful expression made him rather curious, the contents of the wrinkled paper piquing his interest. He hesitates before he pulls the paper from your hand, half-expecting you to bite him.

The letters were scribbles, almost like they’re straight out of some cult’s ritual,  that with the wrinkles of the worn out paper making reading it next to impossible. Still, he could make out just enough to realize what this paper is. His eyes widened behind the blindfold. It didn’t take much to remember this paper, trivial as it may be.

“You found this- how did you even…?” he trails off, confused.

“I guess I did,” You confirm. He’s unsure if you’re proud of yourself for your rather… interesting discovery. It’s bold of you to pull this out ten whole years later. But he can’t deny the relief he feels that at least this means you don’t completely hate him. For once, he’s truly at loss for words. 

But he wouldn’t let a perfect opportunity like this slide.

“Oh, so you’re in love with me? You’re so obsessed with me that you kept this for so many years, what a loyal fangirl.”

Before he knew it, a weight so crushing landed on his foot. He turned off his infinity around you as a sign of trust. But he soon came to regret his rather unsmart decision. Your foot stomped and crushed his toes. It makes him groan in pain, bending slightly forward.

“Tomorrow, at Narisawa in Minato city, 5:30. I’m leaving for Kyoto in 3 days. Don’t waste your chance again, Gojo Satoru. You’re not getting another one.”

“I take it you’ve been in love with me ever since?” He leans forward, elbows on the table. “Say, did you fascinate about me?”

“Hmm..” you hum softly at his childish question, “only a little.” You show no signs of interest in his tactics as you sipped the wine in your hand. Undeniably, Gojo is taken aback by your lack of reaction. He hasn’t known you to be so reserved and smart at keeping him on edge. He couldn’t help finding your new behavior enticing.

Is there anything else you’d like to have?” You nodded your head towards the plates sitting on the table, some empty and some half-full. “Or do you wanna do something else before I go back to the hotel?”

“Hmm? Maybe I could join you at the hotel, actually. Surely it’ll be a lot less lonely with me around?”

You’re tempted by his offer, feeling the heat pooling in your stomach. He looked strikingly handsome today. Maybe you were just really lonely and touch starved, or maybe it’s the way his lips quirk as he teases you that makes your brain a little hazy, inappropriate thoughts floating through it and send jolts to your core. Yet, you set your mind on refusing his advances. You haven’t had a decent conversation since high school, for god's sake.

He keeps his eyes set on you, shining before him. You looked glamorous. He’d lie if he said there wasn’t a certain allure to  your matured looks. The years that flew by changed a lot of things about you two, but his breath still catches in his throat when your eyes meet his dreamy blues. The feelings rush back, memories clouding his train of thought. 

He’s sure he’s going to pay. He didn’t mind it at all, what a small price for getting to spend an evening with you. But you surprise him when you bring up that you had already put your card down, courtesy of having been the one to ask him out. Or maybe this was your way of telling him that you are in pretty good condition, living perfectly well without needing sorcery.

“How’s working as a jujutsu teacher?” you quip, smiling softly. “Utahime says you’ve got some interesting kids in your pack? Two special grades, too. You’re sure a favorite attraction for wonders.”

“You’re still in contact with her too?” he dodges talking about his students, not meeting your gaze. “That’s ironic. Weren’t we friends too?”

A hoarse chuckle emerges from him. But nothing about it leads back to amusement, as it was a joyless sound devoid of life. Almost as if he were mocking you. The dark lenses of the shades sitting on the bridge of his nose served as a shield. He curses himself for being so weak. He's almost thirty but somehow you’ve got him acting like he did when he was 17. 

“You didn’t try to contact me either,” you shrug, not willing to take the blame for your lack of contact. 

“You could have visited then. Even Yaga talked about you every once in a while,” he isn’t too happy and it’s showing.

“All good things, I hope-“

“Don’t change the subject,” he frowns, an uneasy edge outlining his words. “He was enough. You didn’t have to go ahead and leave too.”

“I had to move on, Gojo,” the name felt like a jab every time you used it. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything about it. This is how you drew your boundaries. Calling them by their last names gives you a false sense of satisfaction, convincing yourself that your sorcerer friends are past figures now. Mere acquaintances. 

“-I couldn’t remain hung there forever, I valued my mental health. You grew distant, the atmosphere was growing uneasy every day. I had to cut ties with Jujutsu before I couldn’t recognize myself anymore.”

“Yet you’re here now. Back to square one,” his playful tone was long gone, now replaced by an even, stern one. “Whether you moved away or called us by our last names. It’s a curse you can’t escape. you’ll always end up back in the palms or jujutsu.”

His words held some truth. You know that. But just as he refused to confront this past, you repulsed the idea of your reality. You truly want to believe that you could escape this part of yourself and live a normal life. You couldn’t come to terms with your inability. You held onto your hopes as if your sanity completely depended on it. Another thing that won’t change no matter how much you grew.

“I'll be okay as long as I refuse to interact with this world.”

Once you leave the restaurant, you find yourself wandering through the rich streets of Minato city. It felt as though the night was pulling you further into its welcoming embrace, with nothing rushing you.

“He was only thirteen,” you chuckle, arm linked in his. “It’s unbelievable how bold kids nowadays are.”

“I would’ve done the same thing, honestly,” he smirks, his gaze fixed on the stores around.

“Of course. You’ve got the brains of a thirteen year old.”

Satoru grins at your remark, pulling you into a clothes store. 

“What’s this?” you look around in confusion, noting a woman in a suit welcoming you. The place looked a little too fancy, judging by the display of the items and the lighting of the place.

“It’s a western brand,” Satoru answers. Looking over at him, you can’t help but smile a little. He looks good tonight. His fancy outfit gave the impression that he’s a model to strangers. “Louis Vuitton, I think,” He furrows his brows, trying to remember the name of the brand stores he’s been to with Nobara and Shoko.

“Prada, sir,” The lady in a suit corrected him. “Can I help you?”

“We’re just browsing, thank you.” It’s a phrase he heard from Kugisaki countless times whenever they wandered into a store. His response makes you chuckle, watching as the lady takes a few steps backwards politely.

You’re soon comfortable, searching through the expensive coats and bags. Satoru watched tenderly. Even though the ten years that passed with no contact whatsoever definitely propose a wall between you, he's glad you're able to feel free. You might nit on the same page, but you two can work with what you have.

You stride back to the “S” shaped velvet couch sat in the middle of the checker-carpet store, where Satoru sat. But he was nowhere to be seen.

You walk around in hesitance and confusion, completely aware of the lady walking always a few feet behind you. Surveillance, you guess.

You find him standing in front of the white counter, taking a black bag with the brand’s name printed onto it in golden letters from the man standing behind the counter in a white shirt with the brand's logo on it.

“Gojo,” you call him, confusion fused into your expression.

He extends his arm to you, trying to suppress any sourness at you calling him Gojo. “Let’s go?”

You nod, eyeing him suspiciously before you link your arm in his. You make sure to flash a grateful smile at the woman by the door as you walk past the reflective glass door.

You almost forgot how busy the world outside is. It felt as though the glass building of the store was sound proof. Now you have to adjust to the noise of the full streets again.

Satoru remains silent for the most part. It’s not awkward, rather just neither of you knew what to say. He expected you to ask about what he bought, which you have considered. You decide against it though as you feel it’s none of your business. You’re not too surprised anyway as Gojo has always been a wealthy man. He could buy the entire Prada chain with half of his monthly spending.

“What do you wanna do now?” He asks. “Wanna go somewhere else?”

You think about going to the club to give the night the best closure. But neither of you were dressed for it anyway. You contemplate your choices. Then you grin at him, and Satoru knows it’s best to fear what comes after

You’re well aware that he has a high alcohol tolerance. While you would be wasted a few shots in. Yet you consumed so many drinks recklessly, thinking that maybe you could beat him in a drinking game.

That’s why he’s stuck to your side now, helping your sleeping body out of his car. Satoru is glad your hotel card was so easy to find in your purse, taking it out as he gets into the lobby.

A few people eye the man, glaring at him and at the way he held you in his arms. But he couldn’t bring himself to think too much about it. His mission is to get you to bed now.

“Satoruuu~” You whine, rubbing your face into the pillow once he sat you on the white bedding. “Stay with meeee”

And Satoru is nothing if not human. Despite what everyone else says. It’s proven now that he had come to face a human flaw like this. He is weak, and you are all but practically seducing him.

“Stop crying,” He mutters. He finds himself smiling sheepishly at the unlikely scenario he found himself in. Tucking you in bed, your face hot due to the drinks you had. He really should have stopped you. “I’ll stay the night, so sleep already.”

He convinced himself it’s for the best. He should watch over you for tonight. No funny business. Deep inside he knew he was just finding a reason— any reason to stay around you for a little longer, heart yearning for the lost years. But he ignored the pathetic feeling, convincing himself it’s for your sake instead.

“But I’m uncomfortableee,” you whine again, hands running down your body. “The dress...”

Did you have to make it so hard on him? Satoru is tempted to kiss you, eyebrows knitted in the space between, eyes looking around the room for any sort of aid.

This is probably a form of invading your privacy, but he sees no other choice. He’ll have to hold it together for tonight.

“nngh..”

Your groan came with an impending headache. Your body moves against the rich covers of the bed, sunlight illuminating your physique.

He stopped in his tracks, feet bare against the gray carpet.

Your form is beautiful, one to compete with statues of goddesses. The rays of light complimented every inch of skin in all the right ways. Satoru had to physically shake his head to stop the flowing perverted thoughts in his head.

Your flinch when you catch him standing near the door, heart beating slightly faster. You thought that you’re alone. You don’t think much of it anyway, muttering a “holy shit” under your breath.

“Good morning,” he casually greets, brushing off the mutual shock, albeit for different reasons. “I made coffee, if you wanted some.”

“Oh... thank you,” you mutter, rubbing your eyes as you sit up straight. “Did you eat anything yet?”

“Not yet, no,”  he says, holding his overly sweet coffee in both palms. “Thought I’d wait until you woke up.”

“You’re a real sweetheart, Satoru,” you yawn. His name slipped past your lips before you could stop it. You busy yourself with stretching your arms. “What a doting housewife God has blessed me with”

His response is only a chuckle, rolling his eyes as he sighs on the edge of the bed. “Well, at least I wasn’t begging a man to spend the night with me”

“Huh?”

You couldn’t remember anything of the prior night. Nothing that occurred after you sat at the bar, specifically. But then you begin to realize, eyes widening at the revelation. You feel dreadfulness landing in the pit of your stomach a little too late. 

He’s shirtless, wearing only his suit pants. And even though you wouldn’t mind the sight any other day, the fact that you are in your pajamas isn’t helping at all.

“Did we...” You trail off, expression darkening. Your eyes meet his own, fear implanted in your pupils. You watch as his expression drifts from confusion to an awkward hesitance. Unsure how to break the news to you.

You don’t know what to expect, not realizing you’re holding your breath. 

“I-I’m sorry,” He sighs, gaze faltering as his eyes look away from you. Your eyes widen further, oxygen becoming hard to consume.

What have you done?

“But- don’t worry. You know I’m not some asshole...” if anything, he sounded chivalrous. “I-I’ll be accountable for my mistake. When do you want to hold the wedding?”

You gasp, face feeling hot. “You piece of shit-“ You groan as your foot reaches him, forcefully pushing him off the bed. “As if!”

He breaks into a fit of laughter, the sound full of genuine delight. “I can’t believe you fell for it,” He manages between the laughter.

“Fuck you, Satoru,” you mutter, a smile of relief breaking across your face. “I can’t believe you pulled something so childish.”

“Why are you so down?” He climbed back onto the bed, reclaiming his spot on the edge. “Are you disappointed? You know it’s never too late to just as-“

“Fuck off,” Your heart is pounding as you send him another kick, less forceful this time. “Say one more word about it and I’ll make sure you don’t make it out of this room in one piece.”

He laughs, asking you to pass his coffee. You reach for his coffee from the bedside table. Your fingers lift the glass mug to your lips, sipping at the hot beverage before handing it to him.

Your face scrunches up at the horrible taste. Too much sugar. Too much milk. It’s a lot worse than you might think.

“Your coffee should be criminal,” you push the mug his way, frowning. Satoru hums in response. 

There’s no awkwardness between the two of you, and he can’t help but cherish it. He feels content, enough to sit a little closer, at least.

Enough to lean in towards you, mouth closing over yours in an ever awaited kiss, at least.

[space-mango-company]

Stranger | Chapter 2

Chapter Links: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5]

TW: Descriptions of Violence, Mentions of Cannibalism

Tags: Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x Atreides!Reader, Arranged Marriage, Eventual Smut (still not in this chapter lmao), No use of y/n, Original Characters, Canon what canon

Word Count: 2k

A/N: So... this was posted prematurely a couple hours ago. This is the actual finished longer version. If you don't know what I'm talking about, thank god. Sorry this took so long, lmao

Just letting you guys know that my knowledge of the lore is purely based off of the movies and the Dune wiki rabbit hole I fell into right after watching part two. I also took a few liberties with the canon here.

I'm super open to constructive criticism, or any criticism at all (feel free to absolutely roast me). Like I mentioned, I've never written fanfic before so I'd love to hear your thoughts!

The evening of your first day in Giedi Prime was celebrated with a banquet where you were introduced to the most important people on the planet. You've heard many stories of the ruthlessness and brutality of the Harkonnens, hence surprised by the courtly welcome during the dinner. Although you did your best to politely ignore the Baron who floated at the head of the table being fed by servants.

You were sat beside his nephew who, despite your mother's education, has evaded your insight. You couldn't quite get a read on him.

Feyd-Rautha whispers to you amid the buzzing conversations of the banquet hall, "are you enjoying the food, little hawk?"

You shoot him a questioning look.

"I like your hairpin," he sneers.

You resist from reaching to touch the Atreides symbol affixed in your hair.

"We don't see such ornaments often here." He quietly laughs in his devilish way, only too amused with himself.

Ah, you realize. He means to torment you.

"Seems early for pet names," you say, picking at your plate, "we've only just met."

"Oh, and yet we are to be wed in less than a week's time," his raspy voice rings in your ear, "I should like to be familiar with my future wife, Lady Atreides."

The marriage pact had been signed when you were only a little girl. Inheriting your father's inclinations, you swore you would uphold your duty, undeterred by the gruesome and abhorrent stories about the Harkonnens—because you knew that centuries of conflict could end within a generation with this union. You were a willing bride.

And yet.

You give him a smile that, to those not privy to your conversation, would seem genuine, "You know nothing of me, na-Baron."

"I should like to learn," you doubt his sincerity but care not enough to discern it. He takes a smug bite of a forkful of meat, "perhaps tomorrow, you shall learn something of me."

The following morning Iassa helps you into another black gown, this time with a veil in anticipation of the black sun.

"Is it not dangerous for Feyd-Rautha to wager his life for a show?" you question.

"The na-Baron is a skilled fighter, my lady. He will emerge victorious," Iassa is straight-faced as she drapes the veil over you.

"Yes, I do not doubt it, but given he is the Baron's heir. Does it not seem a touch irresponsible to even risk it at all."

Not that you actually cared for his life, you just expected that the Harkonnens would be concerned with the preservation of their house regardless of their brutality. You recall your grandfather who got himself killed fighting bulls for sport.

"The na-Baron will be fighting war prisoners. They will be drugged beforehand. It is perfectly safe, my lady."

"Oh." You couldn't decide if you were disappointed or not, "I see."

Iassa seemed intent on dropping the subject, so you do.

You stand before a mirror and take a look at yourself. It is impossible not to be reminded of your mother. She was never one for vanity, but you like to think there was a part of her that always enjoyed the elegant dresses she and you 'had' to wear. You allow yourself a somber smile behind your veil.

"You look beautiful, my lady," Iassa curtsies.

"Thank you," you look at her bowed figure, gray robes made more dull by the stark black choker on her neck. You were sure she was at least 2 standard years younger than you are and it had only been a few months since you came of age. You wondered if she liked pretty dresses too.

Before you can ask her, there is a knock at your door.

The house steward, Jaromir, clears his throat when Iassa opens it for you, "The na-Baron requests your presence before he enters the arena."

Heavy doors open for you in one of the chambers beneath the arena. You are greeted by the sight of a half-dressed Feyd-Rautha being helped into his armor by a servant.

"Lady Atreides," he looks you up and down, "I hope you slept well."

You bow your head in acknowledgment.

"Your knives, master," a large man whom you assume to be the bladesmith presents Feyd-Rautha with two daggers.

The young Harkonnen takes one and caresses the blade with his fingers.

"I've come to wish the brave na-Baron well before his fight in the arena," you say in false earnestness.

He smiles at your inflation of his ego.

"Though I must say, I am relieved it is all for show. I would not like to see my groom wounded before we are wed."

"For show?" Feyd-Rautha tilts his head and you see his arrogant facade show the slightest crack.

"Yes, I've heard your opponents will be drugged will they not?" your voice dripping with innocence, "to ensure your safety, of course."

His grip on the dagger tightens, "and where did you hear this exactly?"

You sense the awkwardness and tension in the servants. The one who had helped don Feyd-Rautha's armor has quietly retreated to the far side of the chamber. There is a subtle tremble in the hands of one holding a plate of towels. You finally notice the three women piled upon a raised platform glaring at you.

"Just voices around the fortress," you shrug.

A deep breath recovers Feyd-Rautha's smug expression. "Call for the warden," he orders one of the guards by the door, "tell him to prepare new prisoners. Sober ones."

"My lord, you need not endanger yourself," you feign worry.

"Nonsense." The na-Baron walks closer to tower over you, "My lady bride deserves to see my true prowess."

He sees through your challenge, but you don't care. Seeing his self-satisfied smirk wiped from his face for even just a second was worth it.

"Besides," he turns away from you to inspect the second knife, "my darlings enjoy meat that's fought for its life."

The three women sneer at this and you see their sharp teeth as they hiss amongst themselves.

You've heard of Feyd-Rautha's concubines long before you arrived on Giedi Prime. Tales of their taste for human flesh were one of the things that tested your resolve in fulfilling the marriage pact. You didn't mind that the na-Baron would keep other women. It would result in less of his attentions on yourself, you figured. It was their perverse appetite that nauseated you.

A look of revulsion hides behind your veil which you sense they would be all too happy to rip to shreds.

"I will see you in the stands, little hawk," Feyd-Rautha whispers to you as he waves for a guard to escort you out.

You do your best to drown out the noise of what seemed to be a countless audience that came to see the na-Baron fight. You could understand now why they uphold such brutal traditions. The people are so excited for it.

On the other side of the arena, you sense Vladimir Harkonnen watching you from the Baron's Box that towered over the whole arena. The blazing sun only helps you avoid looking in his direction. You were sat at a viewing box, still for nobility and separated from the masses, but much lower and closer to the sands of the arena. Jaromir had told you that you were to 'give the na-Baron your favor'.

Before long, the master of ceremonies announces Feyd-Rautha's entrance in Giedi Prime Speech. They are celebrating his betrothal to you and the union of Harkonnen and Atreides, you translate in your head. You wonder if the people care for the politics of the Great Houses. They seemed no less excited to cheer at your name despite the centuries-old blood feud.

Massive doors open as the na-Baron walks into the arena. His arms outstretched holding his knives like an extension of his limbs. He riles up the crowd as he walks towards the Baron's Box and kneels to his uncle. He then rises and walks toward you, smirking under the stark light of the black sun.

You may not fear earning the Harkonnens' contempt, but you were the Duke of Caladan's daughter and you knew that the favor of the people was invaluable.

You stand and walk to the edge of the viewing box. The glowing smile you reveal as you lift your veil draws cheers from the crowd that rival what Feyd-Rautha received. You produce a pure white handkerchief from your dress pocket and make a show of kissing it and waving the cloth at the buzzing crowd. You throw it off the edge and it floats toward the na-Baron who had moved both daggers to one hand to catch it. He looks up at you with what you think could be the seeds of respect and tucks the cloth into the tight armband around his right bicep.

He turns back to the audience and raises his knives in a war cry. The crowd explodes in guttural cheers and applause. Feyd-Rautha takes his position in the middle of the arena as his first opponent is released into the white sands.

You've heard of the Harkonnen heir's aptitude in single combat. It's time to see if the stories were true or if it was just another part of their menacing facade.

You were handed a pair of spyglasses to observe with. The two fighters approach each other, the prisoner wielding a knife of his own. Feyd-Rautha holds a taunting stance. The prisoner was sober, you were sure, but even without the spyglasses, you could see he was weak. You surmised the Harkonnen cells weren't very hospitable. He attempts a swipe but the na-Baron parries with ease. Another and the na-Baron dodges. Zooming in, you could see Feyd-Rautha's twisted amusement. He was toying with the poor man—and the people loved it.

The crowds cheered at the clashing of metal, thundering when the na-Baron drew first blood by slashig his opponent's arm. It wasn't long before Feyd-Rautha's dagger had impaled the prisoner's heart. There was no pause before a second prisoner was brought out to meet a similar fate.

Feyd-Rautha stood unwounded, seething with exhilaration. He enjoyed this; the thrill of killing. He basked in the roar of the crowd. You had never ended a life before, but some deep part of you could almost understand how he felt in that moment.

A third prisoner enters the arena. He looked older than the first two, bearded and taller. He reminded you of Gurney Halleck, the Atreides Warmaster. This man certainly wasn't at his prime but you could tell he would not go down as easily as the first two.

The warrior holds his blade out in a firm fighting stance, refusing to make the first move. You notice picadors in black suits have entered the arena, circling the na-Baron and his opponent. Feyd-Rautha lunges at the prisoner and a quick series of parries from both sides occur. You see the finesse in the na-Baron's movement. He recognizes his opponent's skill and he is taking this one seriously. You were not sure what you expected of the Harkonnen's fighting style but Feyd-Rautha was vicious but precise. The crowd gasps when the prisoner disarms one of the na-Baron's knives. The warrior manages to get a grip on Feyd-Rautha's armed hand and aims to pierce the na-Baron's neck with his blade. The na-Baron struggled against his hold and the arid air was thick with anticipation.

You were unsure what outcome you desired as you stared through your spyglass. Perhaps this warrior kills your betrothed. What then? Would you really be able to go back to Caladan's windy cliffs again? Return to the arms of your mother as if it were all a bad dream? You wonder if when Feyd-Rautha becomes baron, and you his baroness, could you convince him to let you see your family.

The warrior's blade was dangerously close to your future husband's throat when one of the picadors lashes at the warrior. The na-Baron growls at the offending picador as the warrior is weakened. Feyd-Rautha pushes him off and allows him a moment to recover, taunting him to try again. Blades clash once more and after a sequence of quick ferocious movements, Feyd-Rautha's blade slashes the warrior's throat. Blood made black by the infrared of the sun splatters onto the na-Baron. He licks the darkness that landed on his lips. Heaving, he takes your bloodied handkerchief off his armband and raises it to you and the roaring crowd.

You did not even realize you were already standing, breathless at the sight.

Chapter Links: [1], [2], [3], [4], [5]

Taglist: @torchbearerkyle @austinswhitewolf @dreamlandcreations @emeraldsgirl @strawberryfieldsforevermore

[transmascaraa]

gaming headcannons!

he's liked you for a while now...

crush!gaming x gn!reader

author's note: sorry this took a while lmao i was too lazy to write anything. it might be ooc but oh well i js really like him and he's so skrunkly omgshhfhs and i wanna do a gf furina x reader FANFIC for a christmas special or smthn😍 i'm too insecure abt my writing skills like for fanfics but i hope it comes out good🤷 anyways, enjoy👍

"so you see, i've been dealing with a strange feeling ever since we've met..."

-he would be all over you already at the first eye contact you two made

-he was really energetic when he met you

-oversharing about himself, talking constantly and giving you a compliment every now and then

-you kinda fell for him too, but didn't think much of his actions(you were a little blind)

-he tried flirting a couple of times and it made you blush but again, you were a pessimist.

-but he had high hopes on you loving him just by the look you gave him

-so after a while of knowing eachother, you guys met at the lantern rite, a small place near a little lantern shop

-"hey y/n!" he waved and smiled brightly at you

-"oh, hey gaming!" you replied, walking towards him and smiling in return

-he was head over heels for you, trust me.

-not like you weren't for him.

-the two of you chit-chatted for a little bit, just enough for him to get comfortable in the conversation.

-"hey, also, i see the people getting prepared for launching the lanterns, do you have yours?"

-"yup, let's go!" you exclaimed as you unconsciously grabbed his hand, making him blush a bit

-getting to a place with not too many people there, you finally started lighting up your lanterns, whispering your wishes to them and slowly allowing them to fly high up in the sky, making your wishes come true.

-the sky was covered in lanterns.

-little lights.

-little yellow dots.

-until they couldn't be seen anymore.

-while you were looking at them, he was looking at you.

-your eyes shining in such adoration as you looked at them.

-his shined too, but not for the lanterns.

-for you.

-finally, you looked back at him.

-"wow, that was so beautiful..." you softly said to him.

-he only had a few seconds to think before replying.

-now or never.

-now or never.

-now or never.

-"but not more beautiful than the person standing right in front of me."

-one could say that there was a smile on his face.

-but a Mona Lisa type of smile.

-you blushed and hid your face.

-"w-what?..." you were too shy for this.

-no way he actually said that.

-you were dreaming.

-"i'm being serious... i've..."

-*sigh*

-"i've liked you for quite a long time now..." he shyly said.

-"but it's up to you if you wanna try..."

-he was so insecure.

-he was looking down the whole time, not even realizing that you were ready to look him in the eyes and answer

-"gaming..." you said, voice barely above a whisper.

-"h-huh?" he looked up, his eyes meeting your eyes.

-eye contact.

-he trusts you.

-you trust him.

-"i like you too..." you put your hand on his cheek and gently caressed it with your thumb.

-he was left speechless.

-his face was burning.

-his heart going 1000 miles per hour.

-"y-you do?"

-"yes, gaming, i'd like to try this. only with you." you were looking at him with a hopeful look.

-"thank you, my dear..." and before you could say anything else, he had his forehead pressed against yours.

-so... close.

-"i love you..." he whispered, blushing so hard.

-"i love you too..." and with that, your lips met in a soft, true, kiss.

-your wishes came true.

-now you surely know what to wish for next year...

~~~~~

this won the poll and when i have the motivation i'll do this similar confession but with dahlia. BUT FURINA FOR CHRISTMAS FIRST.

TYSM GUYS FOR SO MANY LIKES ON MY RECENT POSTS I'M GOING INSANE.

ily all sm also this gaming guy is adorable omfg

[yeyinde]

Question about Straw House, Straw Dog Johnny! OK so he obviously has some brain trauma due to taking a bullet to the head and all, and we can see him shifting between thoughts and emotions in a way one can describe as volatile, but I've been dying to know... Does Johnny have moments of clarity, moments where who he was before being shot break through? If so, how lucid is he? Is he able to take stock of his surroundings, does he know he's got a captive in his bed? Does he wonder about his team mates, until his mind splinters and he returns to being a shell of a man in the woods?

sorry this took me so long to answer!! it got super long so i had to find ways to cut it down, but since i couldn't write this in Johnny's pov, i rambled. a lot.

but—to answer your question: yes and no lmao

i don't think he's fully gone. definitely delusional, grasping at nothing, and struggling to adjust to this civilian world where no one needs him. not even his teammates.

but he's cognisant, and in many ways, he's still Johnny. still Soap. but he is a victim of circumstances. he has untreated TBI (which outside of physical recovery does need therapy as well, especially to offset the emotional trauma that underlines it all), and he decided to pick one of the loneliest places in Canada to hide out in. maybe not the loneliest, but there's definitely a sense of disconnect when you move outside of the big cluster of cities near the border to the US, and nowhere else captures that primordial, almost cosmic sense of crushing aloneness quite like NWT (for me, at least lmao)

it's the social isolation, the feeling of worthlessness (because i do see him as someone who'd never retire from this, ever), and the loss of agency and familiarity that really send him spiralling. he's grasping at straws and sinking deeper into his terrible mental state. listless, in a way. and very, very angry. everything was ripped away from him in seconds and now he's stuck inside a cabin with nothing but his thoughts for company. and while we don't really know how he came to be squirreled away in NWT (specifically a patch of unorganised land outside of Wrigley), we know that it was not choice.

he still thinks of his teammates, remembers (vividly) everything that happened, but had no choice but to leave. there's a lot of resentment, though. he feels robbed. broken. useless. feels like he should be there with them when they hunt down Makarov, rather than sidelined like he has been. it festers. builds.

but then you come along.

a task, a mission. someone he can save. and even if he were fully cognisant, woke up perfectly fine one day, he'd still find ways to rationalise it. he does not, nor will he ever, see you as a captive. he did you a favour. he saved you. by any means necessary. even if those means are morally reprehensible and outright illegal. Soap is patting himself on the back for doing what needed to be done, and nothing anyone says will change his mind.

and if he was ever caught, he'll pretend to feel some sense of remorse for his actions. let people lead the discussion of how tragic what happened is and how truly sorry he is for the pain caused, but the entire time, he's plotting on how to get his family back. you're his. he found you. he'll never feel guilt over what he sees as a good deed. but i think he can be convinced to feel remorse over sneaking into your bed.

[howdoesagrapewrites]

I think it's angst time >:)

Maybe Pav and Gayatri are having their first-ever serious couple argument, and Reader just happens to walk in the room at the wrong time, causing them to either snap or yell at you. Or maybe Readers teasing goes too far, and feelings get hurt?

Maybe there could even be a chase scene, I think that would be pretty fun :3

(Anyways, this is the first pavitr gayatri anon, I've decided to name myself "Partly Cloudy Anon" based on the current weather here lmao. The Yandere Pav and Gayatri honestly had been kicking my legs!! I really love you you emphasized they weren't just lovesick for you, but also for each other!

Most yandere couples I've read had them be normal about each other and while that is fun to read, there's just something so intriguing about Pavitr and Gayatri being just as yandere for each other just as they are for the reader. I can't really put a word to it right now, but I'm just so invested in them <3. I've been rambling for quite a while now, so have a good day!)

-Partly Cloudy Anon

𝙒𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙖 𝙘𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙡𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 𝙖 𝙗𝙡𝙖𝙯𝙚

Cw: Poly!gn!reader x Pavitr Prabhakar x Gayatri Singh, arguing, aged up!characters, gaslighting, manipulation, toxic relationship,

Notes: For the most part is not yandere, but I imagined this as the moment the relationship would become more consuming eventually leading to the things I said in the yandere headcanons.

Thank you so much for your words 🥺 and I'm happy you picked an anon name, sorry if this took kinda long, I hope you have a nice day<3

You came back from work, took the key from your pocket and before you opened the door, you heard your partners raising their voices, this isn't an unfamiliar noise to get to, but this time you didn't heard any laughs along with it, you entered the doorway and as you came to the hall, the words being _yelled_ instead of spoken became more clear, you stood worried in the doorway outside of the room

"You don't understand what I'm trying to even say! You don't want to listen!"

"Maybe I don't want to listen because it's all shit excuses!"

You slightly flinched at their voices being so aggressive, you figured it'd be best if you left for a bit until they solved whatever they had going on, so you walked towards the front door, moving carefully. The fighting seemed to get closer, but you heard one particularly loud yell, it was Pavitr's.

"I don't want to hear anything from you!" The door was slammed

You cursed your luck as you stood very rigid and still while Pavitr approached. "Y/N... Are you going away?" His voice cracked and he sounded out of breath, he reached for your wrist, never hurting it. Gayatri followed him "What do you mean she's going away?" She sounded so hurt, almost mad.

You spoke, calmly, afraid they'll get you in between of what they were fighting again, you never head them had an argument before, in all the years you were together, but this one seemed bad, and you'd hate to take sides, you were dating both and loved them both, and it was okay if they had disagreements sometimes, but you didn't want to think about what would happen if it escalated. "I want you to resolve your differences, I really don't want to be in between" fear flashed past their eyes, so you quickly shut down what they were thinking "I mean going somewhere else for the afternoon, I'll be back, I'm not leaving"

Pavitr's grip became tighter.

"But you are, you are leaving." He said shakily

"You can't leave, I- it's not my fault, you can't leave if I-" Gayatri's sweet voice sounded darker than ever

You've never seen him like this, and it started upsetting you "You don't decide when I leave, I told I'll be back" you stand firm, setting a boundary, you shake your hand hoping he'll let you go, but he doesn't, he just stares at you.

Gayatri looks at you with the same souless expression. "Don't." It's all she says

"Let me go!" You are bewildered at both their sudden change of demeanor, and how rapidly they forgot their feud.

You violently shake your hand and Pavitr lets go out of surprise, you hurry to the door and start running outside, you never thought you'd have run from your loving partners, your highschool sweethearts. You run towards the street market, hopefully it'll be easier to hide.

You feel them running towards you, they see you disappear into the crowded street, Pavitr feels the urge to run and run no matter what, until he finds you, but he refuses to leave Gayatri behind, she's slowly dancing on the edge of goal-directed apathy and losing her mind, at one moment she begs her boyfriend to find you no matter what, but then she sees him get away and fears for abandonment, she needs him close, she loves, she can't lose him, she doesn't care for an argument, she doesn't even care for morals, she cares about having the people she loves by her side. Always by her side

You heard them get close, you moves in circles, waves, careful mentally choreographed steps, with so much intricacy it felt like you were dancing. Like a tango, no, not like that, you weren't being seduced, you were getting chased. Like a cueca, you evaded, dodged their advances, while they ran and showed their might, their craving to have you.

You reached a dark alley, and you realized there was no way out, you reached the end, you turned your back to the wall and looked at both in the eye, Gayatri's usually slicked and perfectly styled hair was now sweaty and messy, Pavitr's golden retriever smile was now a manic gaze and tensed muscles. You stand on your feet firm, straightened spine, talking with authority, hiding the knot of complicated feelings you had building inside you.

"I won't love you anymore if you hurt me. I want an explanation to why you chased me down the streets like I'm a runaway prisoner."

"We won't hurt you, we just wanted to talk"

"You think you can fight and take it out on me? Is this what this is about? Because you seem pretty damn close since you started chasing me"

"We'll never do that, I was scared, we were scares you wouldn't love us because we were loud and mean, it was just a disagreement, you didn't do anything wrong, Y/N" your boyfriend was so sickeningly sweet you would have find him cute if not for the obsessive dark look in his brown eyes, paired with his buff figure blocking your way, keeping you from escaping.

"You just ran into the street, we were worried, right Pav? You were erratic, we thought you could hurt yourself" Gayatri sounded so genuinely concerned you could believe her if you hadn't been there. "Relationships have bumps, meeri jaan, that doesn't mean you can run away like that" she came closer, you flinched.

"I'm sorry we triggered you, we should've known better, knowing everything you went through" she was using the things you told her, the things you trusted her to know "but as you see, we worked it out, we just want you back so we can talk about it" she held your hand in hers, oh so delicately.

You mourned for your lovers, for the truly beautiful love you had, for the ones that wouldn't snap at you for being near the door, wouldn't gaslight you and treat you like you were stupid or crazy, for the ones that wouldn't make you feel small, unworthy. And you looked at them now, nothing left of them.

They couldn't have changed just one day, and you wonder when the switch truly went off, when does a man become a monster?

[devotedlykoneshots]

NAKAMOTO YUTA : SUGAR DADDY

Genre: 18+ , minors dni, 🔞, sugar daddy plot, yuta is persistent, straight filth at the end by bad.

Word count: 5,440 ( the longest fix I've ever written, I got too into it lmao)

---------

He was just a man, wealthy , young , attractive, successful businessman.

You were an average worker just getting by , living paycheck to paycheck.

You had met him at a restaurant and from the looks of it , he was in the middle of dinner with his colleagues and honestly you felt a little bit out of dress.

There they were chatting and laughing as they sat there in their expensive suits, while you sat there in a dress you found on sale at rainbow and you were waiting for your boyfriend.

Your very late boyfriend.

You're not sure when or how long he'd been staring at you but one of the guys definitely were looking your way , sipping on wine that was probably twice your rent as you sipped on water.

Your eyes only seemed to widen further as he excused himself and got up to walk over to your table, you dumbly looked around to see if he was walking towards someone behind you but when you turned around he was taking a seat in front of you.

"Can I help you?" You asked him and he ran his fingers through his burgundy hair.

"Sorry , I couldn't help but notice you were all alone"you snorted at the irony and shook your head.

"I'm just waiting for my boyfriend"you said and he raised an eyebrow at you.

"You got here before me and we've been here for 2 hours, why stay?"he asked and you looked down, you hadn't realized.

"Sorry , I don't mean to pry"he apologized and you shook your head.

"Something must've come up"you made yet another excuse for your boyfriend.

"Have you eaten?"he asked, as far as he knows you haven't and the water you'd been sipping on for hours was definitely warm by now.

"No"you said reluctantly and he turned his head to whistle at the waiter, waving him over.

"What are you doing?"you asked him and he raised his eyebrows at you, the what should have been obvious by now.

"You've been here for over two hours and you've yet to eat, what does it look like I'm doing?"he got sassy with you, further taking you back at the scene unfolding in front of you.

"She's ready to order"he tells the waiter and the employee turns to grab you a menu.

"You're crazy"you run your fingers through your hair , this was not how you expected your Friday night to go.

"You can thank me next time"he said as he stood up from your table and walked away.

"Next time? Wha-"you're cut off by your boyfriends arrival, your anger flaring up.

"What was that about?"he asked and you ignored him, asking him a question of your own.

"Where were you?"he sat down in front of you and grabbed your hand, rubbing his thumb on the back of it and usually you'd melt at his affection but tonight was not one of those times.

"Something came up"for 3 hours? You wanted to ask.

"So, you couldn't send me a text? Instead you allowed room for another man, a stranger - to buy me dinner at my favorite restaurant that you promised you'd do on our anniversary"you ended up snapping at him instead and this idiot ignored majority of your rant, focusing on one little part.

"He bought you dinner?"he'd asked , you almost wanted to slap some sense into him quite literally.

"Of course that's all you got from that"you rolled your eyes and took the menu from the waiter.

The rest of the night was spent with your boyfriend eating something cheap from the menu while you ate something you'd always wanted to try and drank the wine you'd been eyeing all night.

Your boyfriend finally got the hint, you wouldn't put up with his foolishness for much longer.

So you're not surprised to find a bouquet of roses (not your favorite) on your desk at work the next morning with a note from him.

You however couldn't help but think back to the man responsible for your boyfriends sudden change in attitude.

Who was he?

Your answer would come only 2 weeks later at a party with your friends, celebrating your best friends engagement.

"Since our anniversary he's really straightened up and I'm loving it really but it still angers me that all it took was another man showing interest in me to get his act together"you explained and karina raised her eyebrows.

"Who is this mystery man?" Jennie asked and you shrugged your shoulders.

"He never told me his name and I haven't seen him since"you tell her and she hums.

"We're in a better place because of it"you concluded and you honestly weren't expecting to see him at all for the rest of your life maybe but that's not how it works.

"Well cheers to that"yeji laughs and you all drown your shots , they all laugh and tease you as you're the last one to finish.

Just then the doors opens and a group of men enter the room, directly going to the VIP section and that's when you see him.

He's dressed different now and a lot more appetizing if you say so yourself,  he's dressed in all black and his sleeves are rolled up to show off his arms.

"Oh my god"you're quick yo turn around and your friends are instantly on alert.

"What?"they asked in unison, jihyo being the mom she is starts to rub your back.

"That's him, the one that bought me dinner"you told them and they whipped around to look for him but you weren't very specific.

"Where?"Karina asked.

"VIP section, to the left of the guy with the undercut"you tell them and after spotting him they turn to you, whispering but clearly wanting to yell.

"NO FUCKING WAY"

"WHAT?"you whisper , they obviously knew who he was.

"THATS NAKAMOTO YUTA, SUPER FUCKING RICH"Lisa makes her presence known.

"NOT RICH , WEALTHY"Jennie looks like she's about to bust a but just thinking about him.

"he's coming over"Karina is the most calm.

"What?"you turn around just in time to see him walking over to you.

"If we keep meeting up like this I'm gonna start thinking you're stalking me"he smirked and you never thought you'd find a man smirking hot but here we are.

"We both know who's really stalking who here"you roll your eyes and he snickers at your change in attitude from the last time you met.

"I just realized I never got your name"he said and you opened your mouth to say something witty but Jennie was faster.

"Its y/n, I'm Jennie"holding out her hand and he shakes it politely.

"Yuta"he never took his eyes off of you and you couldn't help but question what his intentions were.

"Do you wanna join us?"he asked and raising your eyebrows.

"I can't , I'm celebrating my best friends engagement"you turned down the offer and jihyo looks around dramatically.

"What engagement you talking about?"she asked and you burst out laughing , shaking your head at her silly antics.

"You're all welcome to join us"he offered and you shake your head, you couldn't.

"I have a boyfriend"you told him , it wasn't right.

"So do i"Jennie said but still strutted her way up to the VIP section and you sighed, going against your better judgement.

"Okay....lead the way"you gave in and yuta placed a hand on your back to lead the way.

"These are my friends , haechan, johnny, jaehyun, doyoung, taeil, jeno, Lucas, jaemin and mark"yuta smiles as he introduces you and your friends to his own.

--------

You got home late that night and your boyfriend was not happy one bit but you'd just told him you were with your friends , it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either.

The next time you saw yuta you were at work and you shook your head as he walked up to you.

"You're definitely stalking me now" you commented and he chuckles.

"Could you blame me, I may have grown quite fond of you" he said and you raised your eyebrows, you kinda figured that much.

"I have a boyfriend"you reminded him for the millionth time it felt like and he was rather blunt with his response.

"I don't really care"he admitted and you looked down.

"Can I get you something from our menu? I can't have you holding up my line"you asked him and he chuckles at your attempt to get him to leave.

"When do you get off work?"he asked instead and you sighed.

"Why? Don't you have anything better to do than chase after a taken woman?" You asked and he raised his eyebrows again.

"Better to be chased than taken for granted , don't you think?"he quipped and your jaw dropped before you closed it.

"I'm not..."you shake your head and reminded him of the obvious.

"You're holding up my line"he turns his head to see a group of people behind him , he flashed them a smile and the girls all melted right on the spot.

"I'll leave , when you tell me what time you get off"he insisted and you stomp your feet like a little toddler before giving in.

"8pm tonight, now please" he smiled at your frustrated state.

"I'll be here at 7:30 to pick you up"he said and looked at him with wide eyes for what felt like the millionth time.

"Wait - what?"

---------

"I'm just going to say it"he immediately jumps up after the last customer leaves and you raised your eyebrows at him.

"Okay...."you're not used to seeing him so....nervous? He's always been chill and laid back, very sure of himself and his abilities.

"I want to take care of you..... financially, I want you to quit that useless place you call a job and yes I know you have a boyfriend"he tells you before you could even say it and you bite your bottom lip, as long as he knew.

"I don't really care honestly , if I have to watch you walk home one more time and in the cold for Christ sake I'm literally going to buy this shit joint"damn was it ever really that serious? You chuckle at your own inner commentary.

"You want to be my sugar daddy?"you asked and his face twisted into one of disgust.

"God , don't say it like that. I'm not old and I'm not asking for anything in return , just let me take care of you and if you decide to ditch that pathetic excuse of boyfriend later down the line then I wanna be the one to help you celebrate"damn , he really doesn't like your boyfriend huh?

"I don't know, I mean that's not fair to him"you tell him and he rolls his eyes, licking his lips.

"When has he ever been fair to you? He's not even here to pick you up from work and you have to catch a bus and walk 20 minutes to get home, god knows what could've happened had I not been here."now how in the hell?

"How do you know-"he cuts off your incoming question.

"I have my ways....just let me drop you off and think about what I'm offering"he said and you sigh, a ride home did sound nice.

"Okay....just a ride home"you agreed, following him to his car in the parking lot and you gaped at the red ferrari.

"Have you eaten?"his voice brings you from your trance as he unlocks the car and opens your door for you, your stomach growling answered his question and you get in the car.

"What do you wanna eat?"he asked and you looked over at him as he gets in the car, doors locked and you just noticed how good he smells up close.

"You said a ride home"you tell him and he rolls his eyes, it wasn't a big deal for him but it was for you.

"Now its just a pit stop to grab something to eat, you've got to take better care of yourself"he slightly scolds you and you scoff, folding your arms.

"I take care of myself fine"you look out of the window and its his time to scoff now.

"Really? Because every time we meet you hadn't eaten in hours."he said and you looked at him, you hadn't even met that much.

"Maybe I wasn't hungry"you counter and he chuckles, pulling out of the parking lot.

"Yeah because you devoured the food i bought you at the restaurant within minutes because you weren't hungry"you noticed he matched your energy well, talking to him was easy and he seemed to love to tease you as well.

"You watched me"you gasped and hit his arm before you realized what you had done , you went to apologize but his next comment sent a chill up your spine.

"I'm always watching you"he said and you focus on the road ahead of you.

"Why me? You could have any girl in the world and you chose me, even Jennie wants you and she's my friend"you tell him and he snorts, glancing over at you.

"You need a better friend"he said and you shake your head , Jennie was a good friend for the most part but she was hyper sexual and she wasn't ashamed of her sexuality.

"We're not together , she doesn't owe me anything"you wave off his comment.

"I have plenty of other friends she's welcome to shoot her shot at but its not gonna happen with me"damn he was dead set on you.

"You didn't answer my question, why me?"you asked again, turning your body to face him and he keeps a hand on the wheel as he let's your seat back for you to get more comfortable.

"I don't know, I just got this feeling the first time we met and I just knew I had to have you"he wasn't afraid to be honest with you and why would someone of his status be anything but honest with you.

"You can't have me, you know that right"you tell him and he hums.

"Yet"is all he says and you're taken back by his answer.

"You really are crazy"you laugh and look out the window , he chuckles.

"The best ones are"

--------

Your boyfriend wasn't happy and you sympathized with that part, you'd been doing a lot of things you normally wouldn't do and now they were catching up to you.

You woke up one morning and your face was all over the news, pictures of you with yuta at all of the places you'd run into each other together and your boyfriend was seeing this for the first time.

"You lied to me! You said you were with your girls"you remembered yuta whispering into your ear that night about how unfortunate it was that you were taken and how his arm was draped over the back of the couch behind you.

"It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either" you winced and he paced across the floor.

"Are you sleeping with him?"he asked and you scoffed.

"I'm not you, I don't sleep with people I barely know"irritated that he would even considered that as an option.

"So what are you?"he asked and you rolled your eyes.

"He wants to take care of me...financially"you told him and he scoffed.

"What did you tell him?"he asked and you looked down at your fingers.

"I'd think about it"you said and he laughed bitterly.

"Oh for the love of god, you practically agreed"he accused you and your anger flared up.

"I didn't agree for you! because its not fair for you!"you yelled at him, pretty sure you'd get a noise complaint filed.

"You don't care about me"he shakes his head and that angered you even more.

"Really? Did you not forget why we're in this mess to begin with? You were 3 hours late to your own anniversary dinner"you rightfully reminded him why this stranger had taken interest in you.

"I'm still with you because I care , I haven't agreed because I care and I feel terrible because I care"you continued to go off , not once had you when remotely entertained this mans advances. 

"Its not my fault you gave him an opening and now he won't back off and he's aware I have you but he's never crossed the line"you told him and it was true although yuta wanted you he'd never touched you or made you feel like you couldn't make your own decisions.

"I can't do this, you wanna whore yourself out to some rich guy then be my guest and I won't stand in your way"now you were livid.

"If you wanna go so bad.... I'll help you"you announced and got off the couch, going to your bedroom to help him pack.

"Y/n , don't you touch my stuff-" he's cut off by a shoe barely missing his face and its followed by various clothes and shoes.

"Get out!"you yelled at him and threw the suitcase as well , him barely dodging it.

"I'm the one that should be angry!"he yelled but packed his things anyway.

"I get it , you feel threatened and I'm not gonna hold your hand anymore. Especially when I've been loyal despite him continuously making advances on me"you help him pack and you even zipped up the suitcase.

"Whore myself out....if anyone is a whore its you and you can go to hell with your insecurities because you didn't start acting like a man until he came along"you continued to go off in his shit but you still handed him his coat and opened the door for him, slamming it shut in his face.

--------

You found yourself in a bind and since you were single now, your boyfriend got kicked out and rent was due soon, you had no choice but to accept yutas offer.

"I'm sorry that happened"he frowned sympathetically but you both knew he was happy as hell that you got dumped.

"You're so happy , you can't even hide it"you scoff and he chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

"You don't need him"he said and you sigh, resting your chin on your hand.

"I don't wanna need you either"you pout and he mimics your posture, including the pout.

"You don't , just think of this as payback for turning your world upside down in the best way possible."he grinned and you rolled your eyes , sharing your head.

"You're a mess"you tell him and he bites his bottom lip, sliding forward more.

"I can make you a mess"you jump back and blush as he laughs at your flustered state.

"Yuta"you cover your face and he shrugs, sitting back in his chair.

"Your fault not mine"

"So how does 250k every 2 weeks sound?"he changes the subject , taking you by surprise again.

"What? Yuta-"he cuts you off.

"Rule number one, take what I give you and I mean....everything"he's serious and demanding for the first time , you're not surprised when you feel a tingle in your uh....lower region.

"What am I supposed to do with 250k?"you asked him, jaw still on the floor and he hums as he takes a finger to press against your chin.

"Move out of that wretched apartment for starters"you frown, that was your first apartment.

"I'm taking care of you now and my love, you deserve the best of what life has to offer and you'll also need a new wardrobe."he said and looks out of the window but when he looks back, you're still frowning.

You found nothing wrong with your wardrobe but even Jennie has called you out for your lack of fashion sense many times before.

"You're cute but johnny would kill me if he saw you rocking what could be mistaken as baby phat"your jaw dropped again and he chuckles.

"He and his partner mingi can help you with that, they love fashion like that"you huff and fold your arms over your chest.

"Keep doing that and I'll give you a reason to huff" you dropped your arms instantly and looked out if the window, only hearing his laughter ring in your ears.

--------

You sat on the stool at your new apartment and yuta walked around very pleased with what he saw, his friend doyoung helped you decorate and he definitely had an eye for interior design.

"How do you feel?"he asked as he followed you out onto the balcony, it was a nice set up and the fairy lights only made it better.

"Weird , its gonna take some getting used to"you say after a moment and he nodded, understanding that.

"Your personal driver will take you anywhere you wanna go , until you get your drivers license" he must've noticed the confusion on your face when you saw two cars in the driveway.

"I don't know what to say"you said, in just a few months your life had changed completely and you were still trying to grasp that this was reality.

"Thank you?"he chuckles and you shake your head at him.

"I feel like I should do more than that"you tell him and he shakes his head.

"You don't have to, I just wanna take care of you"he reminds you, he's always kept his promise of wanting nothing in return.

"Who's gonna take care of you?"you asked and he turned to you.

"What do you mean?"he asked, blatantly confused but he gets the hint as you pull him closer by his belt and start to unbuckle it and his jeans.

"I wanna take care of you"you whispered and he grabs your hands with a groan.

"Y/n , look at me"he demands and you look up at him with your bottom lip trapped between your teeth.

"I want you....god knows i do but not like this, I don't want you to do this because you feel like you owe me"he explained and you furrowed your eyebrows, confused.

"Why?"you asked, you never thought you'd see a man turn down a blowjob.

"I want you on your knees because you want me and there's nothing that could quetch your thirst except for my cock"his forehead meets yours and you whimper, his grip on your wrists tighten at the sound and he wanted nothing more than to bend you over the railing and mark his claim on your body and soul.

"Don't say things like that and push me away"you voice brought him back to reality.

"Another time, yeah?"he asked as the door to your apartment opened and you nodded.

"Yeah"you almost forgot about the house warming party.

"Don't ask"he said , turning his attention to haechan and the rest of his and your friends as he fixed his pants.

"Wasn't going to"haechan held up his hands in surrender.

The next time you're alone with yuta was at his vacation home in Italy, you were relaxing in a jacuzzi and yuta watched you from the back door. The way your chest rose with every breath you took and he's snapped out of his trance once he hears a bunch of commotion.

Both of your friend groups seemed to have combined because now whenever you'd go on a trip they weren't far behind.

"Mind if I join you?" Yuta asked as he approached your figure and you smiled, nodding your head and he places your legs on top of his lap as your friends join you.

"This is great" Jennie smiles but you're too preoccupied with trying to keep a straight face as yuta rubs your thighs innocently, your mind however was absolute filth.

"I'm going to get a drink" you stand up and move to get out of the jacuzzi , wrapping a towel around yourself and yuta joins you.

You both go into the house after drying your feet and hair off with another towel , what do you want?"he asked as he opened the fridge and you hugged him from behind.

"I want you"you kissed his bare shoulder and he turns around, sitting his beer on the counter.

"Y/n"he goes to grab your hands but you smack his away, him raising an eyebrow at you.

"I want you now, yuta"you're not backing down this time, you want him.

No, you need him.

"Damn , are you sure?"he asked as he grabs your waist and you step closer, nodding and hiding your face in his neck.

"Yes, please" you lift your head and stand on your tiptoes to kiss his lips, he's taken aback by your boldness but kisses you back nonetheless.

"Jump" he breathes against your lips and you jump, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing his lips more before your lips trail down to his neck.

"Fuck-" he turns and makes the walk to your room , the both of you having two separate rooms not far from each other .

You bite down on his neck after he closes the door with his foot and he walks to the bathroom with you, you realized he was heading towards the shower.

"Let me help you wash the chlorine off first, then I'm all yours" he promises and you nod, letting him carry you in the shower and turn on the water before putting you down.

He turns you around and presses you up against his chest, your bikini top comes off first and your bottoms follow the same fate.

His lips are on your neck and you whimper as you push your ass up against his front, he moves and trails kisses down your body.

His tongue touches every piece of skin on your body and you can't help but get even more turned on by that , the water turning off brings you back and yuta leads you out.

He doesn't care about the water and tosses your still wet frame on the bed, you gasp and he's quick to hover over you as his lips return to your own.

His tongue pushes into your mouth uninvited and you count help but moan, wrapping your legs around him and your fingers run through his dripping hair.

"Yuta" you whine as he pulls back and kisses his way from your jawline to your lower belly, not forgetting to give some love to your nipples using his tongue and mouth.

"Inside" you whimper and he tsks , shaking his head and continuing to move at his own pace which you huff at but that only earns you a slap to your pussy.

"Yuta!" You squeak and cover yourself from getting slapped again.

"What did I say about that huffing?" He asked and you bit your bottom lip.

"I'm sorry" you apologize and he coos , pushing your hands out of the way and continuing to kiss further down.

He stops at your inner thighs and sucks the skin into his mouth , so close to where you want him and he could care less about your needy little pussy craving for his attention.

Was he punishing you?

That thought was wiped from your train of thought as soon as his lips closed around your clit and a moan rips the the depths of your gut, right were you wanted his dick to be by now.

"You're so wet baby"hands throwing your legs over his shoulder and he digs in, not holding back and placing a hand on your lower abdomen to hold you in place as he attacks your leaking pussy with his tongue.

"Needy baby- how good am I doing?" He asked and continued to lick you feverishly , his tongue adding just the right amount of pressure that has you cumming undone just how he likes.

"Fuck" he can't help but chuckle as he watches you come back down to earth, he's now at your side and rubbing slow circles on your clit.

"Too much" you push his hand away and he kisses your cheek.

"You did so good" he praises you and you smile lazily at him, your hand trailing down and grabbing his bare cock which was fully hard.

"Fuck me, please mr nakamoto" you whine and squeeze the base as you lazily stroke his cock, he smacks your hand away and gets up.

He grabs your waist and manhandles you into the position he wants, ass up and face down.

You're angled towards the mirror he had set up in your room and now you know why he had it a specific way, you cry out his name as he smacked your ass harshly and he grinned that evil smile he had.

Slap after slap he landed them all on both of your ass cheeks and you closed your eyes, a tear falling down your face and you jerk away from him once his tongue makes contact with your stinging skin.

"Y-yuta"you whimper.

"I've waited to have you for months , I guarantee you're not leaving this room for a few hours"was that supposed to be a threat? Your body was tingling with anticipation.

"Do your worst"you challenged him and he thrusted his cock into you , his hand pushing your face in the pillow to muffle your scream and he's pulling your hair back soon after. 

"Ag- fuck"you cry out as he pounds his cock into you roughly and your eyes roll to the back of your head, his hands moving to grip your hips to guide your movements and set a faster rhythm.

"You're just all bark aren't you? Just a whiny brat that acts up when she's not stuffed full of cum"you clench down on his cock and he chuckles, grabbing your neck and pulling you up against his chest.

"Is that what you want pretty? Want Mr nakamotos cum in your pathetic cunt?" You whimper and he thrusts his hips faster, a hand dropping down to rub your clit and you cry out again.

"Fuck! You're gonna make me cum" he pulls out immediately and moves away, laying down on the bed and resting his arms behind his head.

"W-why'd you stop?" You whine and pout, he chuckles and beckons you to come closer.

"You're gonna have to work for it. come on, love and ride my cock"you nod and straddle his lap, lining his tip up with your entrance and you whimper as you slide down.

"Move" he demands and you nod, rocking your hips back and forth as he watches you. You couldn't lie , he looked sexy like that.

"Come on, bounce your ass on my cock" you bite your bottom lip and start to bounce on his cock, moans leave your lips and you feel your climax getting closer again.

"I feel-"you're cut off by a slap to the ass.

"Faster, fuck my cock like the horny slut you are"you obey him immediately and the only thing on your mind was his cock.

"You're so-" you're cut off again.

"Attractive? I'm aware, I'm also aware that my baby isn't fucking me hard enough and therefore she must not want to cum"he goes to pull you off his cock but you slap his hands away.

"I can do it" you promised and lean forward, arms caging him in and your ass bouncing faster and harder.

"Fuck- that's a good fucking girl" he spreads your ass cheeks and plants his heels in the bed, thrusting his cock up into you and you cry out once again.

"I'm cumming!" You warned him and pulls you down for a kiss, tongues colliding messily as you both chase that euphoric feeling of ecstacy.

"Cum with me"you hide your face in his neck as you clamp down on his dick and he groans deeply, your body trembling on top of him as your orgasm ran through you and he cums deep into your heat.

"Fuck" he runs a soothing hand down your back , kissing your forehead before carefully rolling you onto the bed beside him.

"I'll go get you some water, we're starting again in 5 minutes" and with that he left the room.

[aratribow]

I love how your art stays almost stagnant in a homey way. I scrolled down a bit to look at some of your art (I'm obsessed sorry I hope you don't mind) and while you did improve on lighting quite a bit, you still have such a distinct and uniquely beautiful artstyle that makes me feel at home whenever I see it. Everyone talks about how an artist's work tastes (I do too) but what about FEEL? Yours feels like a warm fireplace in the coldest winter. Tysm for posting when you don't have to. Everyone appreciates the beauty of your art, but I also want to take the time to appreciate the time you took to create your art (proofreading this particular sentence was really funny LMAO). How many YEARS it took to get to your desired style. You are an amazing artist and I hope you enjoy drawing, however please prioritize your life (school, jobs?) so you can prosper. Perhaps I'm making this too long but what I mean to say is will you marry me

(I wanted to end it at that but just in case you think I'm serious this is a joke a JOKE I jest haha 🙏 unless...)

seriously though! I mean every word! You and your art are amazing!! 💕)

M so sorry op but this is SOOO JINGHENGJING ASF I SWEAR, fan jy and artist dh frfr and i make no rules

Me 👆 reading this wall of LOVE THAT U TOOK TIME OUT OF YOUR DAY TO WRITE LIKE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AND NO OP HOW CAN I EVER MIND U SCROLLING THROUGH MY BLOG WKSBKSNS M JUST ISNSJSSJW NOT ENOUGH WORDS. I've just been WAILING the entire time reading this and and YOU'RE SO SWEET OMG, validation is OFF THE ROOFS WITH THIS ONE.

M so happy my art feels like a fireplace on the coldest winters op....KSNSJSN SOBS

No shit but the sentence that made U laugh while proofreading? That's A LOT FOR ME. M JUST RESPECTFULLY DYING IN A CORNER, THAT'S SOOOO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA TwT

And I do prioritize my studies op, thanku for your concerns ^^ also KSHDJENSKEJJE I AM SO SORRY BUT THE "what I mean to say is will you marry me?" HAD ME IN SHAMBLES. I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT BUT OMGGG DAS SO CUTE OF U

THANKU SM FOR YOUR ASK OP ur so adorbs omg. Have a great day/night!! MWAH

[yayll]

https://www.tumblr.com/yayll/759326311116308480/havent-slept-yet-but-just-as-i-was-about-to?source=share

Hi, this anon again😅 haven't slept yet again...it's 6 am🙃. I just love the idea that Dazai with all his godlike intelligence is the kind of guy to see immediately what troubles or struggles his significant other has with themselves or in general.

If you have trauma he will immediately catch on, self esteem issues? Immediately caught on, mommy or daddy issues? People pleaser? He knows it, and many other things, he will immediately figure it out as you both date.

He'll probably even do little things that you'd think he doesn't understand how much it means to you, like validating you, making sure you always have a specific comfort of yours at hand, you'd think he just does it because he saw that you liked it, but it was because he knew what it would do for you, what it makes you feel.

Dazai sees you and he doesn't just see your traumas and things you struggle with of course, he first sees someone he loves unconditionally. Dazai knows you love him with all your heart especially after knowing about his past.

Dazai will tell if you're sensitive, if you're uncomfortable with loud noises, if you get emotional about a lot of things, if you're lonely around people, if you're masking your real personality around other people, if you've only heard criticism instead of any praise, if you've been undermined and seen as a second choice, Dazai will know.

And he will show you from the moment he picks up on everything, that you're never gonna feel like that again as long as he's there, and he will always be there. He will validate everything you always wanted to be validated. Dazai from the Port to ADA is very much "gun is love, gun is life" to "what is gun, what is this metal thing that can hurt another human being!?" An exaggeration of course but that's how he probably would be even though he's joking, but the second someone tried to mess with you, suddenly every training he had in the Port comes back and he's immediately shown to be this incredibly intimidating and ruthless man to anyone who tries hurt you.

Have a beautiful forever Hun💖🥺 I know you said in the last message you've had a rough time and I genuinely hope you're doing better 🥺💖 a reminder that you're so amazing and you deserve the best, you deserve to be happy and i wish you the uttermost happiness and love and good health, you're still so incredibly young, you have so much time to accomplish everything or anything you want, you're doing well, get some sun, hydrate yourself, sleep the best you can(because I know sometimes we don't always get enough sleep) and eat well💖🥺

I'll leave these emojis for now so you'll know it's me next time😅

- 🥺💖

HELLOOOOO my sweet 🥹💖

i'm so sorry i have such a late reply! i've been working on some writing and also quite literally irl so i'm just trying to catch up. you are amazing and i'm wishing u the best of health and happiness right back :') love is all we rlly have in this world. things are a lot better lately on my end and i hope you've been able to sleep comfortably even if it takes u a while! MWAH.

and also. i just rlly wanted to indulge those lil things you said about dazai because they are sooooooooo true. sooooo fucking valid. GUN IS LOVE GUN IS LIFE TOOK ME OUTTTT LMAO i actually love the way u talk abt dazai's highly intuitive side, it's quite literally what makes him so compelling as is. and in a relationship/partnership? oh it's a goddamn dream. he's like a hawk watching and registering your every mood fluctuation and the cause of it, tryinf to see how he can rectify it immediately. and i also FIRMLY believe he will use any and all past PM training to facilitate ur happiness should he ever need to. he'll be like:

"Hey, take five. You've been at it for hours now and frankly, it's boring watching you work."

"I can't, I'm so behind on reports and I'm helping out with the agency holiday party, I also need to-"

Dazai's eyes narrow, and shakes his head rapidly. Mission accepted, he thinks. He knows what you need, and if you won't cater to your needs, he'll have to just do it himself. He lives to see you at ease, because you deserve the entire world. You will not, under any circumstances, be stressed under his watchful eye... And he also just really wants an excuse to cuddle later without having to hear about dumb things like work. It's a win-win, and you don't have a choice! He sighs, and puts on his little performance.

".. You expect me, the great Osamu Dazai, to simply watch as I witness my favorite detective work themself to the bone?! Absolutely not! I refuse. Come, we're going to the cafe downstairs."

You groan as he pulls you, smiling in reluctance.

"Dazaiiii, i'm serious.. plus, don't you have like, a huge running tab there?"

He flashes you a sly smirk and a wink.

"That's why I have you, silly! Your philathropic and generous heart is willing to treat me as your penance for being so stubborn. How noble of you. You really shouldn't have."

You roll your eyes, sighing deeply as you zoom out of the agency with him.

"The waitress there wants to kill you, you know."

You mutter under your breath with a playful smile. Dazai gasps dramatically and looks back at you, still holding you by the arm, tighening just a smidge.

"Oh, goodness! I'm quaking. well thank god i'm bringing you, my precious little scapegoat~"

Despite your feigned annoyance, your cheeks redden, and it's hard not to become endeared with how relentless he is in his pursuits to distract you. what a slack off, you want to kiss his stupid face until he shuts up. You might just have to.

"You're the worst, Dazai."

"Mm, what a weird way to say 'I love you.' I'll take it."

this is a silly little thing, but basically overly observant and on the case Dazai he just NEEDS to make you the happiest whether you like it or not!

i love u, mwah :')

-ivy

[historia-vitae-magistras]

How about dreary?

Nedcan break up fighttttt lmao. This one is also complete.

Amsterdam, 1990.

Jan opened the front door to the dreary day and the nation of Canada standing on his stoop with a shy, hopeful smile.

"I wasn't expecting you!" Jan blurted, taken on the back foot. "You're a surprise!"

"A good one, I hope," Matt smiled. He was dressed warmer than required for the weather, wrapped in his good winter coat, gloves and hat and standing in the drizzle, one hand above his face to keep it dry. Jan stood there, gawking. "Can't I come in?"

"Of course!" Jan said, shaking himself loose of his thoughts and flinging the door open.

Matt stepped inside, peeling off his hat and gloves and moving to give Jan a kiss once inside the privacy of the house.

"What are you doing here?" Jan asked. Matt's lips were fish-cold, and Jan shivered a little before he took his coat.

"I was in Kyiv," Matt said. "And I was feeling a bit more myself, so I called your office, and they said you didn't have anything booked, so I got my connecting flight to Rotterdam."

"Oh," Jan said.

"Is it a bad time?" Matt asked.

"No, no. Just… I've got a flight in a few hours."

"Where too?"

"First leg is DC,"

"Oh?" Matt asked, and they moved toward the living room, Matt's suitcase in the foyer and coat hanging on the rack like a guest. "What's in DC?"

"A layover and a few hours at the Dutch Embassy. They're giving a dinner for the Queen."

"Ah, very official. And then?"

"Another flight."

"Where too?" Matt asked, putting his arms around Jan and smiling. "Where have they sent you off to now?"

"Nowhere," Jan said, kissing his hair. Matt dropped his head on Jan's shoulder. "I took vacation time."

"Did I pre-empt a surprise visit? Matt smiled, kissing him, full of promise. He was still cold, and Jan could only let it happen, full of sadness.

Jan was silent for a moment. "Tokyo, actually."

"Oh," Matt dropped his arms. "Well, that's not great timing on my part; I'm sorry. I must have called before you put it on your schedule."

"It's not scheduled," Jan said. "Personal."

Matthew disengaged. "Again?"

"I haven't been there in months."

"A month," Matt said. "You were there in December, and it's not even February."

"I have something I want to be there for."

"Something?" Matt said.

"A gift. A windmill is going up in Sakura."

"A windmill. Goodness." Matt said. "Does that require you?"

"It's my design, so yes, I supposed it does. I based it on one I had in the 18th century. It's quite a fine design.

Matt huffed. "Lucky Sakura."

"Kiku has been looking forward to it.

"You have to, by the sounds of it."

"I have."

Matt nodded, collapsing onto the sofa. He looked off somehow, something more shadowed about his eyes than usual, his face thinner—probably jet lag.

"Do you want to get some lunch?" Jan asked. "Before I go?"

Matt looked at his hands and swallowed. "Jan, If I asked you to stay, would you?"

"Is there a reason I should?" Jan raised a brow.

"I miss you, love you, and want to spend time with you."

"My flights booked, Matt."

"Right." Matt shut his eyes and exhaled. "Okay. That was bad timing on my part. I'm sorry I dropped in unannounced. I really thought you were free."

"Why don't we get lunch and figure out another time."

"I'm not hungry," Matt said. His jaw tensed, and he looked up at Jan. "When can I expect a visit from you?"

"I'll be over with the tulips, like usual."

"Could you take some time before then? Or could I pop over?"

"Can't it wait until May?"

Matt flexed his hands in his lap. "Does it have to? I miss you."

"I don't think I can take any more time for a few months, but I'll call when I get back."

"Do you miss me when I'm not here?"

"I'm always happy to see you."

"That's not what I asked." Matt returned. "Do you miss me? Because it feels like I haven't seen much of you in a long time."

"I'll be there in May. A whole week."

"How long in Japan?"

'Fourteen days."

"Fourteen days," Matt repeated. "Another fourteen days?"

"December was only 10."

"Only?" Matt spat back and then shut his eyes, exhaling. "Sorry."

"That was for a whole different thing. This is official."

"You just said it was personal!"

"It is! But it's for an event!" Jan said, running his hand over Matt's arm to take his hand. "Come on, let's get some food before I have to go. I'll call you when I get back and I'll see you in May."

"Do you even want to see me in May?"

"I always come in May."

"Do you want to though? You're not beholden to me." Matt stared at his hand, supporting him against the wall rather than at Jan. "We're not married; we're not human. You can do whatever you like."

Jan frowned. "Matt— you didn't even mention you wanted company before dumping yourself on my doorstep. I'm not a mind reader."

Matt squeezed his eyes shut against some sort of pain.

"Matthew, be reasonable. I can't do anything if you don't talk to me."

"You aren't listening anymore when I try. Even when I'm here, you're elsewhere. You had a life before me. You still have a life without me. It's fine. Do whatever or whomever you want."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means there were no honorifics when he talked to you. And you still use the formal case when talking to me in public. Because I'm not imp— it's fine. You should go. I'll talk to you when I'm in a fit state."

"You could just talk to me now!" Jan said. "I'm listening now."

"You're already packed," Matt said. "It's fine. I'll go to my Dad's."

"I'm sorry this time didn't work out," Jan said, scrubbing his face. "But you didn't tell me you wanted to see me until 10 minutes ago."

"I tried in December. You were in Japan." Matt smiled wanly, and Jan wasn't sure he'd ever seen him look so hollow. "I tried. I tried talking to you. But you don't return my calls, and that time you were unreachable and in Japan, and now you're on your way there again."

"Matt. There's only a competition where you go and make one. The world's changed, and times change. You have your place with me sometimes, and I have mine with him sometimes. It's not a competition. Just compartments."

"So you can put me in a little box and take me out when you're bored?" Matt sighed through his nose and rubbed his temples. "Just like that?"

"That's not what I said."

"Isn't it?" Matt shot back. "Isn't that what you're doing exactly? I was place holder while you waited for something better! Fifty years ago, you kissed me on VJ day with almost as much relief as VE Day. You kissed me both times. I didn't expect anything from you. But you made me love you. And now you throw that in my face by telling me nothing changed?"

"It hasn't!" Jan shouted. "I love you!"

"Then why aren't you actually here when you lay next to me?" Matt shouted. "Where the fuck are you when I try to talk to you and get only grunts? Why are we always playing phone tag? When I'm trying to make love, and you're closing your eyes? Where the fuck are you, and who are you thinking about? Because in fifty years, we haven't been monogamous, but you never used to close your eyes!

"I buy you flowers every year. I pay attention to you when we're together. But it's not as if we live together. Our lives are long. And complicated. I have feelings for you, for him, for a lot of people. Same as you. Don't begrudge me my life, Matt, Fuck! Its not my fault you're such a fucking child you can't understand this!"

"Oh, I'm a child now?" Matt stood. "It makes me a child that I don't understand how you can do this with him? Of all people?"

"It does! You are a fucking child if you can't understand that. And a hypocrite. Your parents have done far more to each other than Kiku and I ever did."

"How the fuck does that make this okay?"

"Because there was a single war between Kiku and me. One! A single war in 400 years."

"It was the largest conflict the world's ever seen! Ludwig nearly killed you, and Kiku allied with him and they both tried to bring the world to heel. Tell me, should I fuck Ludwig? No!"

"You can if you want! Go, fuck him, love him, let him love you, change! Maybe you'd understand some fucking sense."

Matthew's eyes widened. Jan exhaled and saw his breath. The room had dropped twenty degrees around the personification of Canada.

"Do… do you love him?"

"I did."

"Thats not what I'm asking. Do you love him now? At this moment."

"Yes."

"Fine." Matt exhaled, and the room's temperature rose again. "Fine. Go."

"Matt, don't play the jealous wife. It's beneath you."

"Who the fuck said I was? I just said you were free to do as you liked, didn't I?" Matt smiled again, bitter and fragile like shards of porcelain. "Enjoy your time, Jan."

"…. Will I see you in May?"

"I don't think so."

Send me a word, if it’s in one of my wip documents I’ll answer your ask with the sentence that it appears in

[deathbxnny]

YQ's Mother Requestor Anon here! I see the calling of angst so I am here to give! Can I request Mother!Reader and Baby Lai getting attacked with Reader almost dying bc they tried to protect our beloved baby but somehow survived, just in a coma? Yanqing managed to save them by unaliving the attackers like a madman [then Jing Yuan gets flashbacks about Jingliu's rampage on him] and only regains his humanity bc of his sister, then they run to a hospital!

Reader still lives (bc its fun to watch them slowly be traumatized) and heals, both physically and somewhat mentally!

-----♡

A/N: Hey there! Thank you for this great idea and sorry it took 50000 years for me to get to it. Life genuinely hates me lately and I've been extremely busy even on the weekends rn, so yeah... forgive me.

Content: Angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, murder, mentions of murder, injuries, child endangerment, violence, near death, good ending

Reader has no set pronouns!

((Not fully proofread))

-----♡

You just wanted to take a quick walk around the Luofu with your baby, as you haven't been able to move around much after her birth. You smiled gently down at her, your hands keeping her close under your cloak, a soft hum of a tune leaving your lips, when you looked out into the distance. The sun was starting to set, bathing the world in a warm, orange hue. It was peaceful... until it wasn't.

In an instant, you were suddenly attacked by some Mara-struck soldiers, your body scrambling backwards, as you tightly clutched onto your baby. You had accidentally wandered out of the safe zones, completely distracted by the beauty of the area to really notice where you were going. You should've been more careful and yet, it was too late to regret everything now, when a next attack came swinging at the direction of your child.

You quickly turned away, taking the hit fully, your body skidding across the floor violently. But you still made sure that your child wasn't injured, even when she began to cry. Your head hit the ground, disorienting you, as the injury began to bleed. And whilst you were struggling to lift your head, your hands still so desperately holding your baby close to you, familiar swords suddenly appeared in your blurry vision. You could barely hear anything anymore, but when you saw the rough outline of your son, you let out a relieved sigh and just finally passed out, knowing that you and your baby were saved.

The enemies however stood no chance against Yanqing's wrath, as he practically ripped them all apart, even ditching his swords at one point. He was angry, beyond enraged. The thought of someone hurting his mother and little sibling was making him delirious and it took 5 cloud knights and eventually Jing Yuan to drag him off of whatever was left of the attackers. Jing Yuan was irked by how familiar the sight was, a memory of a distant, dark past flashing through his mind, before he quickly forgot it at the soft cries of his infant child.

It also calmed down Yanqing, who slumped in the cloud knights hold and finally just concluded that he had gotten his revenge, before he allowed himself to be taken away. You were brought to a hospital quickly after as well, having taken the brunt of all attacks, which left you quite injured. But the mental scars were arguably worse. It took you a while to be able to go outside again, the paranoia over something like that happening once more being always on the forefront of your mind. Your child also never left your eye sight, as you kept her in arms reach at all times.

Jing Yuan and Yanqing supported you greatly through your recovery journey, making you heal in no time again, for the most part. The scars and fears would always stay... even if they just lingered now in the back of your mind.

-----♡

A/N: God... I'm so sorry again for how long this took. I hope it's somewhat okay and that you can forgive me lmao-

[thesetrashimagines]

You’re a Curse Baby Pt.9

A Jujutsu Kaisen Imagine (reader insert)

Warnings: mentions of suicide/self sacrifice, fighting,

GIF IS NOT MINE!

Pt.8

AN: Hey guys.....so it's been 3 years....my life has completely changed since I started this fic and I'm very sorry to have paused it for so long. But I've had the urge to get back into writing. This will be the last part of the series that follows the OG storyline. I'll be going off-script and into a new timeline written by me😈. Hope y'all are ready for a new chapter (and hopefully not too many slow updates) sorry for the extreme authors note but you deserved to know lmao.

“You still okay back there?” Gojo jostled you, neither of you have spoken for quite awhile. The storm overhead was mostly gone, nothing but an overcast left to show your mood. You wordlessly nodded against his shoulder. “You wanna tell me what’s been going on?” He turned to take the path that led back to the old shrine. “I figured out how to exercise other curses.....along with myself.” The white haired man’s step faltered, “That patchwork curse, he can manipulate souls and since I can touch souls and go through memories, I thought maybe I could also manipulate souls. I was able to make contact with his soul and during our fight I could feel our energies merging so I started to use my energy to exercise him.” Gojo stayed quiet as you spoke, “He had a strong grip on me so I decided it would be best if I killed both of us. It was easy, all I had to do was turn our cursed energy into life energy and then let our souls slowly dwindle.” The older man stepped over pieces of the broken temple. “But you were unsuccessful.” You nodded against his back again.

“Yes he has much more experience with souls then I do, he was able to pull away.” You let one hand go back and rub at your sore eyes, “After the mission my body was weak, probably the weakest it’s ever been. I tried to heal myself and repair my soul at the same time.” Gojo spoke, “That doesn’t sound very smart.” You slumped against his back, “No it wasn’t. My body couldn’t take the constant rise and fall of my energy. Every piece of my soul that came back, my cursed energy doubled, and since I was using it to also heal my wounds, it would fall back down to a low level.” You looked over to the old broken temple, “I thought it would be okay since I knew I’d be here, the less energy the less I’d be detected.” Gojo slowed to a stop and turned his head back to you, “And?” You stared back at his black blindfold, “I pushed everything down, my energy came back tenfold and tore through all of the walls I put up, it made me panic and I ran into the woods outside of the event. I bumped into some low grade curses, they had me trapped and unable to move so I did the only thing I could and let my energy free again. I might’ve accidentally started a fire.” Gojo laughed and placed you on your feet, “From what I seen and heard, you’ve caused a few fires.” You looked at your hands sheepishly, “Yeah...” The sorcerer watched as your eyebrows pinched together, “But that’s not when I lost control.” Your hands shook, “My emotions....that curse said that it was there to kill you and hurt everyone else. I couldn’t stop myself from feeling scared, then I got angry, so angry.” Your voice became small and quiet, “I wanted to kill them. I was so blind with rage I almost-” Your hand smack over your mouth as a sob escaped your lips.

Gojo watched as guilt and shame over took you, your sobs echoed throughout the forest as you crumbled to the floor. It was obvious you felt bad for whatever had happened. “What did you almost do Y/n?” Your hands planted themselves on the ground as you leaned forward, tears fell from your eyes and drop to the soil, little wet patches spotted the dirt. You heaved and hiccupped, Gojo went to your side and sat down, rubbing a hand up and down your back. “I almost- I almost killed Yuji.” Your resolve had completely broken, the storm had come back loud and unforgiving, the rain fell to the Earth in fat droplets and thunder rumbled. To Gojo’s surprise there was no lightning dancing across the sky, had you exhausted yourself? He turned his eyes back to you and saw your hands covering your face as you cried, small purple tentacles played on your skin and hopped from tear drop to tear drop that rolled down your hands and arms. He looked at the hand he had on your back, the little sparks flitted about, halting themselves before getting to close to his skin. He finally understood.

“You’re scared of yourself.” His words caused you to curl further into yourself, “You didn’t kill Yuji, he’s fine.” Your head shook violently, “Gojo I almost killed him!” You finally turned to look at him, your face was wet with tears, eyes almost grey in colour and rimmed red. The blood and dirt on your face was close to being gone from your tears and constant rubbing. “But you didn’t.” Your face scrunched up and your hands lifted into the air, “Don’t you understand?! I almost killed him! I almost took his life away! Again! They were right, I’m a monster, a good for nothing curse!” Your head dropped back into your hands as you continued to ramble,  “He tackled me to the ground and I thought I was getting attacked again, I almost hit him...” You clenched your eyes shut, “His eyes, he looked at me with so much fear, he was scared of me...” The first flash of lightening darted across the sky.

“You didn’t kill him though. You were able to stop yourself.” A hand grabbed onto yours and pulled them away from your face. “And from how I saw the two of you were after the fight, I would guess he understood that you were acting on instincts.” Gojo tilted his head down to try and meet your eyes, “It’s normal to act on instincts, that’s kinda what they’re made for.” When you didn’t react to his little quip, he knew you were still shaken. “What if next time I can’t stop myself?” Your eyes fluttered up to his. “Do you want to hurt Yuji?” Your eyebrows furrowed, “No.” A smile spread on Gojo’s face, “Then you don’t have to worry about that.” He leaned back on his hands, “It’s a good thing I have my infinity on,” You looked up and realized how dry he was compared to you and the surrounding area, “Or I’d look like a wet rat like you.” You sniffled and smirked. A hand came down to your shoulder, “Don’t sell yourself short Y/n, You’re stronger than you think.” He groaned a little as he stood up.

“You may be a curse but there is a streak of humanity in you.” He bent at the waist, “How bout we train after the exchange event? Hm? Just you and me.” A small smile graced your features, “Okay...” He straightened up with a shout, “Alright!” The sun peered back down over the forest, glistening off of the rain drops. Gojo turned and started to walk away, “Come on baby curse, we still have an event to finish!” He put his arms behind his head as he walked forward, you dawdling on behind him like a baby duck. He wasn’t worried you would snap, you were too worried about keeping him and the others safe and happy. He knew why you were constantly trying to please him, you were created on the feelings of abandonment and among many other emotions but he knew you would do anything to stay with him and his students. You were loyal and you would rather die then you break it. Yes you were a ticking bomb at times but nothing like a few words helped you calm down. The bond and trust you had with Gojo and his students was incredible. Gojo knew of your attachment to the them but he’d be lying if he didn’t say he was a little attached to you too.

-----------------------------------------

“So how is it possible that you get along with a gorilla like Todo?” Nobara nibbled on her pizza. “Well the two of us got along but it was like, I mean I do remember everything but it feels like I wasn’t exactly myself at the time.” Megumi looked uninterested in Yuji’s and Nobara’s conversation, his eyes drifted over to you where you sat off to the side staring down at your lap. You haven’t said a word or moved since Gojo came in and placed you in the chair, something was obviously bothering you but Megumi wasn’t sure how to ask.

“What do you mean? Were you drinking?” The girls voice brought him back to reality.

“You seriously believe I could’ve been drinking liquor in a situation like that? That would’ve been insane.” Yuji turned his attention to Megumi, “Anyways I’m just glad your injuries weren’t too serious Fushiguro, to your health and this pizza.” Yuji took a large bite from his slice while Nobara had another small piece. The dark haired boy looked between his friends, “You guys could’ve brought me something easier to digest.”

“No complaining.” Nobara spoke with her mouth open.

“Apparently I got off easier because my cursed was all gone and Ieiri was able to fix me up as soon as the roots were removed.” Megumi saw your ears perk up at the mention of his injuries. “Oh so that’s what happened?” Yuji swallowed his food. “You should know, you fought against them too didn’t you?” The pink haired boy nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “Itadori,” Megumi turned to Yuji who paused with his mouth open midbite, “You know you’ve grown a lot stronger. Before we both said that we stood by our convictions, I still think that’s true. But then on the other hand you could we’re both wrong about all of that.” Out of the corner of his eye, Megumi saw you turn you head slightly towards him, dimly glowing grey lilac eyes watching him. “Some question don’t have any answers,” Nobara placed her face on her palm, “Don’t think so hard, you’ll go bald.” Megumi sighed, “You’re right. I know it’s just a matter of trying to accept it.” He looked down at his bedding, “But why accept something you don’t want, only weak sorcerers do that. So I’ve decided,” His dark eyes met Yuji’s brown ones, “I’ll surpass you.” Yuji let out a laugh, “You never change.” Nobara looked at the two boys annoyed, “Did I get left out of the conversation again?”

“I don’t think it makes you weak.” The trio turned to look at you, “Wouldn’t not knowing the answer make you strong? Since you are constantly looking for it, wouldn’t that make you brave? Or that one word, um...courageous?”

Nobara let out a bit of air, “Why does the curse always sound so wise.” You all laughed a little.

“There you go, that’s my brother and his friends for ya.”

You let out a yelp and fell off your chair, Todo had shown up out of nowhere at the end of Megumi’s bed. Yuji shot out of his seat and ran for the door, Todo hot on his tail. “Wait where are you going brother? Wait hold on!” The two sprinted, “Look I’m grateful for you but come on, give me a break!” Yuji jumped onto the roof.

-----------------------------------------

The sun beat down on you as you sat in the dugout. “I can tell somethings been bothering you.” You tore your eyes off of Yuji and looked at Megumi in surprise, “I mean no one was okay after that fight but it seems like there’s something else going on with you.” You glanced down at the white baseball uniform you were forced to put on, “I feel like I betrayed everyone.” Megumi tried not to let shock cover his face. “Before the exchange event I did something I never thought I could do....I almost exercised my own soul.” Megumi’s eyes widened this time, “What do you m-”

“In the moment I thought it was the best plan. Afterwards though my cursed energy was extremely low, I was barely alive. The healing process was difficult, I was using my cursed energy to heal myself and try to repair the damage I had caused to my essence. I guess the constant use of my energy to heal and for my soul to regenerate was too much for me, it was like being in a tsunami, one minute the tide was low and then the next my senses would flood and every wall I put up was being destroyed.” You took a deep breath, “The days leading up to the exchange event I buried everything down and decided I would try to deal with it later but when I was in those woods...” Your mind wandered back to when you were almost consumed by the flower curse, “I ran into some curses outside of the perimeter and I was trapped. Since I buried everything, I could feel all of it pushing against the blockades, it was like I was the storm this time.” Megumi watched you pick at the fabric of your shorts, “I lost control...” Your fingers gripped the white fabric, “Then I lost it again when I was fighting that curse. I was so angry, so filled with hate, all I felt was kill. Kill, kill ,kill, there wasn’t another thought in my mind. They wanted to hurt you, Gojo, everyone and I couldn’t let that happen.” The dark haired sorcerer stared at you for awhile then ruffled your hair, “You’re okay now, we all are. You were able to pull yourself back and that’s what matters.” You swatted his hand away which made him chuckle. He and Gojo had said the same thing, you were able to snap out of it and that makes you strong. Even with their encouraging words there’s still a looming fear that sits at the back of your mind. What if you can’t stop yourself next time? You never want someone to look at you in fear, like Yuji had, ever again.

“Kugisaki snapped! It’s a free for all!” Yuji’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.

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You were playing outfield, furthest away and closest to the tree line. The first few plays went well but then there was another home run. Hit straight into the forest behind you, of course you wanted to win so you ran as fast as you could into the woodland. You could just see the ball soaring through the sky, smacking into leaves so hard they detached from the branches and fell to the ground. Your neck strained as you stared up at the flying sphere, you were right underneath it but then your sight was filled with brown then green then blackness. Your foot throbbed just a tiny bit, lifting your head up from the ground you noticed a tree root had tripped you up. Letting out a groan you pushed yourself up, "Stupid tree." Standing you looked around the forest for the ball. There was no sight of the white sphere.

"I lost it..." Pouting, you continued to walk around the trees in search for the baseball. In the distance you could hear leaves rustling, thinking it was someone on your team you called out, "Hey! Did you find it?" Running towards the noise, you pushed some branches out of the way and ended up in a small clearing. The sun peaked through the treetops and shined down on a large mass hunched over. It had large shoulders, the flesh stretched over muscle, the bones of its spine poked out from under it's skin, it's thighs were as large as you were, maybe even bigger, covering it was tattered pieces of a dirtied pink fabric. From where you were standing you couldn't see it's face, it's hunched over form obscured whatever you might've seen of the front of its body.

At the sound to your voice, the creatures head shot up. Long dark brown hair flinging around wildly before settling on the creatures big shoulders. It didn't turn towards you, just sat on its haunches, back stiff straight. A small voice came from the creatures direction, "What's wrong Mama?" A little pale blue boyish face peeked around the creatures large knee. Big round eyes gawked at the sight of you, and just when you made eye contact, the little boy disappeared behind the creature again. "Mama someone's here." The young voice wavered a bit. The long brown hair shifted forward and fell down as the creature looked down at the small boy then the creature let out a chuff and whined. Clenching your hands tight in nervousness, you spoke, "I'm sorry for scaring you, I promise I'm not here to hurt you. I've lost a ball and I need to find it." The large creature flinched at the sound of your voice and curled it's massive arms around, what you could only assume, the little boy in front of it. Despite the grip on the boy, he managed to wriggle to his way above the large forearms and looked at you again. "This ball?" He raised his small hand and in it sat your baseball. You nodded, "Yeah that one! You found it! Could I have it back?" The large round eyes filled with tears, "But I don't wanna give it back." The boy started to cry causing the creature to swaddle him and, for the first time, you saw the creatures face as it threw a glare over it's shoulder at you. She had a light brown eyes, a large brow bone which was furrowed as she glared at you, a button shaped nose, and a pair of pink lips which were set in a deep frown.

You swallowed, "Oh, um....I'm sorry but I need the ball to play my game" The little boys blue image fazed out and reappeared out of the large creatures arms a couple feet away from both of you. The small boy had a giant smile on his face as he let out a laugh and waved the ball in the air, "If you want it, then you're gonna have to catch me!" And with that he turned and sprinted in the direction you came from. You threw a quick glance towards the creature and she stared dumbstruck just like you did, both of you in disbelief over the child's rebellion. You looked back to where the boy once stood and made the realization, "he's running towards everyone..." The creature next to you whipped her head and stared at you wide eyed, she knew what you meant, the boy was running to the field, with all of the humans. In a second she was gone, her large form lumbering through the trees and shaking the ground as she went. You didn't wait too long after before you also took off to catch the boy.

"Wait! Please! They'll see you!" You yelled ahead hoping the creature and the little boy would stop, but neither of them did. If anything, the little boy ran faster. The creature let out a loud vocalization, something between a yell and a grunt, you assumed it was her way to communicate with the boy that he should listen and stop running. "It's dangerous! Please I just want the ball back!"

"No! Your stupid ball is mine!" A childish giggle sung out into the woods.

You groaned and doubled down on your speed. Your body ached a bit from the excessive use it had already been put through, but you knew if this boy or his 'Mama' were seen by any of the sorcerers, they'd be eradicated.

You could see the edge of the treeline coming up quickly, the creature in front of you must've seen it too cause she pushes off her haunches and leeped forward, grabbing the small boy and skidding to a halt. You caught up to them, you and 'Mama' huffing. "Please, please can I have the ball back?" The little boy wriggled and started whining, "No! Mama let me go! I wanna go!" His little feet dangled in the air as the creature held him above the ground. "Its dangerous out here, there's people who'll make you go away, forever. It's not safe to run around in these woods." You tried to reason with the little boy but was not having it. "You're lying! You're just saying that so I give you the ball back!" Once again his corporeal image fazed out of the space, the creature let out a loud yell as she turned 360 for her little blue boy.

"NA NA NA NA YOU CANT CATCH ME!"

Off in the distance, out in the baseball field, stood the child spirit. The cursed creature put a fist into the ground to push herself forward but you were faster.

"There you are Y/n!" Yuji's voice rang out as you broke out the treeline and ran straight towards the boy. Everyone stared as your knees hit the ground and curled your arms around an invisible body. You ignored everyone as you could feel the ground shaking from thundering steps. You let out the tiniest bit of energy to tether the little boy to you.

A loud yell is heard behind you, so close your hair flies about from the air expelled. Mama was not happy. "I've got him! I've got him, look, look" You turn and show the cursed creature the little boy in your hold.

"Y/N!" Multiple foot falls start approaching you. Whipping your head around you see Yuji rushing over to you. "No! Stay back, everything's okay!" The creature raised a fist and slammed it into the ground next to you, the little boy curled further into your arms and started to wail, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I just wanted to have fun....I never get to play with anybody!" His little body shook with the tears and 'Mama' only got more angry. Her large fist was raised and ready to strike you, seeing as now you have officially become a threat. But before she's able to strike, Yuji is able to slide between the two of you and punch her. "Yuji don't!" You gasped as the creature stumbled backwards. Yuji advanced, "Don't attack her!" Your arms tightened around the little boy as his cries only grew louder.

"MAMA NO! MAMAAAA!"

You unwrapped one arm from the boy and shot a purple bolt out, aimed at Yuji.

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Hey, how y'all doin'?😗 so ye, here part 9. I'm so sorry if it's shit and not the updated you wanted. I've had a huge change in my life and writing quickly got put on the back burner. I really am hoping I find the motivation to continue and finish this story. Let me know you liked this chapter! Much love <3

[risingsuntarot]

1--2

3

What are you currently not seeing ?

My lord I'm so sorry I've been gone for so long I kinda jus felt so unmotivated and kinda went hermit mode for quite a while so I apologize for my absence!! Anyways I wanted to make a come back with a reading regarding being trapped, blinded or stuck on something that is unfortunately, hindering your process ;+(

Also * will indicate a reversal from here on out also only three piles because I wanted to get this out ASAP !!

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Pile 1

---Cards pulled---

5 of Coins/4 of Wands*/The magician

3 of coins*/The Moon

---Clarification---

9 of coins/9 of Swords/The hierophant

Ace of wands/3 of wands

There is most likely a financial or material issue happening, I heard "just enough to get by"

It looks like you lack in what you currently need as well? But despite this you are content or try to come off that way

Maybe you just moved into your own apartment recently? Or now have to pay rent or something along those lines

A new responsibility within your family/home life too

There's a lack of confidence here especially within self and home life

Something or someone in your home isn't making you feel quite safe? Or you get nightmares about them (if this is the case please seek help!!) that might be a very specific message BUT Could also be ready as you may be dealing with flashbacks at this time due to financial or material loss !! Maybe you grew up in poverty or an unstable home? Or your parents/caregivers weren't able to provide necessities?

It looks like with the magician and the hierophant there is a gift on the horizon or a very promising belief or like system? Maybe a change in routine or spending habits and thinking will help tremendously

I see that on your end for some your guides are frustrated with your lack of effort and motivation to make your thousands of ideas a reality

They absolutely love your creativity tho don't get me wrong

Maybe you have a hard time focusing right now and have many great ideas to put into place but lack motivation or resources as well so this leads to lack of movement or commitment

Sadness, restless emotions and late sleepless nights are prominent here, someone may deal with insomnia here but y'all sleep schedule is wack (same tho)

Feeling blocked and frustrated >:+(

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Summer - "Bask in Joy and Light"

"Rise up, open your wings and shine. Bring your projects and plans into into the light, into manifestation" as soon as I opened the guidebook lil

DEADASS do that's just that, start off easy with a lobes hobby, draw something new or listen to a new genre, learn that new music sheet that has been challenging you or even get into a new type of skill to re motivate you !!

This also indicates summer may be your time of change!! New opportunities, new memories maybe even knew people

I feel like this is the perfect time to go outside, bask in sunlight and enjoy a nearby park or go on a nature hike, try meeting new people at libraries, bars or events even book clubs?

I'm getting a message to connect more with water so swimming or maybe even kayaking?

The big message here is try something n e w but I'm also being told to "loosen up" I'm tensing up a lot with this reading

Bumble bees maybe significant to someone :+) or honeycombs cereal? Lmao honey and bee related things here

---Channeled Songs---

Ego brain - SOAD

"You see my pain is real

Watch my world dissolve

And pretend that none of us see the fall

As I turned to sand

You took me by the hand

And declared, that love prevails over all"

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Pile 2

---Cards pulled---

Temperance/9 of Wands/Ace of cups*

Knight of Coins/6 of Wands

---Clarification---

5 of Coins/The Lovers*/8 of Coins

The Moon/Queen of Wands

Okay so there's a sense for reluctance from this pile tbh like to fully acknowledge the truth

I keep wanting to say what happened so you may be being asked this question a lot

For one there is guilt over either healing and moving on or from not healing and moving on from a difficult situation but for most it's a romantic connection

I feel like voices were silenced, and you were constantly fighting for you right to be heard, seen or acknowledged fairly

It was a toxic dynamic that you still look back on to this day but almost feel indifferent but it seems it's just suppressed emotions and memories that you have yet to actually acknowledge

You seem to be a BIT too logical with what happened, like everything was supposed to be this way even this you didn't at all anticipate it if that makes sense

Like you knew what it was exactly, no bs and people tried convincing you otherwise

It looks like someone may come to you to talk about what happened although you may be reluctant to actually open up and speak on your side or even acknowledge that it hurts

It's like you go on about your day with a heavy rain cloud over your head and this person can see :+(

it maybe a friend to help you through this for some possibly offering you a type of hype sesh or even help you glow up a bit even if it's confidence lol

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

Wolf- "Take care of your needs"

I feel like you definitely need rest here, this card says "Do everything you need to do to be at your best, Then move beyond your fears and limitations"

it feels like a state of I can FINALLY get some rest from running and running and running

You've been in survival mode for so long or you just genuinely feel exhausted from the expectations around you or the trauma in your past

Know that's it's okay to just chill out and it's okay to be on your own for a while it's all part of the process, in fact I believe your guides are asking you to spend time with yourself more

Self care and YouTube days are recommend :+))

---Channeled Songs---

Around the fur - Deftones

"Please don't fuck around and die like this

'Cause I love her"

Brand new numb - Motionless in white

"All of my flaws, I wear 'em with honor

A purple heartbreak for all we've suffered"

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Pile 3

---Cards pulled---

The Hierophant*/King of cups/4 of Swords

Wheel of fortune/5 of wands*

---Clarification---

Ace of Swords*/5 of Swords/Queen of Coins

The Hermit*/Queen of Cups

This may be a more masculine in terms of energy for this pile but I'll still read the same

So it seems there was a hypocrisy or an act that went against your morals and you were quick to act and deliver your opinion... "sharply"

You stood your ground and what you believed in in your heart despite the haters lol, and despite the arguments or how many people you had to leave behind something about conflict here

Although the way you did this was quite nonchalantly and someone was not a fan I'm picking up on black hair and green for the description for some reason

This person tends to be the center of attention? Or is very attractive, or maybe even a bit out of place almost ? But you not caring is pissing them off

I see there's gonna be change to the situation but someone may have to trail off onto their own path :+( a bit shunned almost but it's a high probability it's this other person

It's possible someone with the same morals and values as you is helping the conflict "die out" but not caring or almost standing in solidarity

---ORACLE/ADVICE---

High Priest - "Intend and Create"

"Recognize you have the power to change you life. Face your fear and align with the light"

Kind of a plain message but with this card I am getting that you can literally move anyway you want with this and just move on

It seems your intentions were nothing but pure in the end so no Karma was ever delivered to you

How unfortunate for the other person :+pp

It also seems some may follow in your path a bit here but spirits asking you to reach out to someone like a teacher for further guidance if you feel stuck

---Channeled Songs---

Riptide - Grandson

"I've tried getting better, did all of the twelve steps

Whoever would'a thought? Whoever could've guessed?"

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