#Stability of Systems Assignment Homework Help

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5 Tips for Choosing the Right Macroeconomics Homework Help Service

Macroeconomics homework can be challenging, and many students find themselves seeking assistance to navigate through complex concepts and assignments. If you've ever thought, "Who can do my macroeconomics homework?" you're not alone. The rise of online homework help services has made it easier for students to find support, but with the plethora of options available, it's crucial to choose the right service for your needs. In this blog, we'll explore five essential tips to help you select the best macroeconomics homework help service for a seamless learning experience.

Check Reputation and Reviews

Start your search for the perfect macroeconomics homework help service by researching and evaluating their reputation. Look for reviews and testimonials from other students who have used the service. You can find these on the service's website, educational forums, or review platforms. Pay attention to the overall satisfaction of the users and specific comments about the quality of macroeconomics homework help provided.

A reputable service will have positive reviews highlighting their reliability, professionalism, and the ability to deliver accurate and timely assistance. Additionally, consider the duration the service has been in operation—a longer track record often indicates stability and reliability.

Expertise of Tutors

The quality of the assistance you receive largely depends on the expertise of the tutors. When selecting a macroeconomics homework help service, inquire about the qualifications and experience of the tutors they employ. Ensure that the tutors are well-versed in macroeconomic concepts and have relevant academic backgrounds.

Look for services that provide information about their tutors on their website. This transparency indicates confidence in the qualifications of their team. Moreover, you may want to check if the tutors are experienced in providing tailored assistance for different levels of macroeconomics coursework, ensuring they can cater to your specific academic needs.

Plagiarism Policies

Originality is a non-negotiable aspect of academic work. Ensure that the macroeconomics homework help service you choose has robust policies against plagiarism. Plagiarism can have severe consequences, ranging from a failing grade to academic penalties. Reputable services should guarantee original and customized content for each assignment.

Ask about the service's approach to plagiarism detection and prevention. Reliable services often use plagiarism-checking tools and provide plagiarism reports upon request. By choosing a service with strict anti-plagiarism policies, you can be confident that the macroeconomics homework help you receive is both authentic and academically sound.

Turnaround Time and Flexibility:

Time is often a critical factor when it comes to completing homework assignments. Before choosing a macroeconomics homework help service, inquire about their turnaround time. A reliable service should be able to meet your deadlines and provide timely assistance.

Moreover, consider the flexibility of the service. Some assignments may require urgent attention, and a service that offers expedited options can be invaluable during busy academic periods. Check if the service has a system for accommodating urgent requests and if there are additional charges for expedited services.

Communication Channels and Customer Support

Effective communication is essential when seeking macroeconomics homework help. Before committing to a service, assess their communication channels and customer support. A reliable service should have clear and accessible communication channels, such as live chat, email, or phone support.

Test the responsiveness of their customer support team by asking a few pre-purchase questions. Pay attention to how quickly and thoroughly they address your queries. This is indicative of the level of support you can expect when you're actively using their macroeconomics homework help services.

Conclusion

Choosing the right macroeconomics homework help service is crucial for academic success. By considering factors such as reputation, tutor expertise, plagiarism policies, turnaround time, and communication channels, you can make an informed decision. Remember to prioritize services that align with your specific needs and contribute positively to your learning experience. With the right support, navigating macroeconomics assignments can become a more manageable and educational process.

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[rose31smith65]

Challenging Database Assignment Questions and Solutions for Advanced Learners

Databases are the backbone of modern information systems, requiring in-depth understanding and problem-solving skills. In this blog, we explore complex database assignment questions and their comprehensive solutions, provided by our experts at database homework help service.

Understanding Data Normalization and Its Application

Question:

A university maintains a database to store student information, courses, and grades. The initial database design contains the following attributes in a single table: Student_ID, Student_Name, Course_ID, Course_Name, Instructor, and Grade. However, this structure leads to data redundancy and update anomalies. How can this database be normalized to the Third Normal Form (3NF), and why is this process essential?

Solution:

Normalization is the process of organizing data to reduce redundancy and improve integrity. The provided table exhibits anomalies such as duplication of student names and course details. To achieve 3NF, the database should be divided into multiple related tables:

First Normal Form (1NF): Ensure atomicity by eliminating multi-valued attributes. Each piece of data should have a unique value in a single column.

Second Normal Form (2NF): Remove partial dependencies by ensuring that non-key attributes depend on the entire primary key, not just part of it.

Third Normal Form (3NF): Eliminate transitive dependencies by ensuring non-key attributes depend only on the primary key.

The database should be restructured into:

Students (Student_ID, Student_Name)

Courses (Course_ID, Course_Name, Instructor)

Enrollments (Student_ID, Course_ID, Grade)

This design reduces redundancy, prevents anomalies, and enhances data integrity, ensuring efficient database management. Our experts at Database Homework Help provide solutions like these to assist students in structuring databases effectively.

The Importance of ACID Properties in Transaction Management

Question:

In a banking system, multiple transactions occur simultaneously, such as fund transfers, balance updates, and loan approvals. Explain the significance of ACID properties in ensuring reliable database transactions.

Solution:

ACID (Atomicity, Consistency, Isolation, Durability) properties are crucial in maintaining data integrity and reliability in transactional systems.

Atomicity: Ensures that a transaction is executed completely or not at all. If a fund transfer fails midway, the transaction is rolled back to prevent data inconsistencies.

Consistency: Guarantees that a transaction moves the database from one valid state to another. For example, a balance deduction must match the corresponding credit in another account.

Isolation: Ensures that concurrent transactions do not interfere with each other. This prevents race conditions and ensures data accuracy.

Durability: Guarantees that once a transaction is committed, it remains stored permanently, even in case of system failures.

By implementing ACID principles, databases maintain stability, reliability, and security in multi-user environments. Our Database Homework Help services offer detailed explanations and guidance for such critical database concepts.

Conclusion

Complex database assignments require theoretical knowledge and analytical problem-solving. Whether it is normalizing databases or ensuring transaction reliability, our expert solutions at www.databasehomeworkhelp.com provide students with the necessary expertise to excel in their academic pursuits. If you need assistance with challenging database topics, our professionals are here to help!

[gigglystudent]

Mastering International Economics: Excel in Your Homework with Expert Guidance

International economics is a fascinating field that explores the intricate dynamics between countries as they trade goods, services, and capital. It examines how policies, currencies, and economic activities of different nations interact and influence global economic stability and growth. As a student delving into this subject, you might find yourself overwhelmed by the complex theories, models, and data analysis required to excel. This is where International Economics homework help becomes invaluable, offering you the support needed to navigate this challenging yet rewarding discipline.

Understanding the Fundamentals of International Economics

International economics can be divided into two main branches: international trade and international finance. Each branch has its own set of theories and concepts that are crucial for understanding global economic interactions.

International Trade:

Comparative Advantage: This fundamental theory, introduced by David Ricardo, explains how and why countries engage in trade by specializing in the production of goods for which they have a lower opportunity cost.

Trade Policies and Tariffs: Understanding the impact of tariffs, quotas, and trade agreements is essential for analyzing how government policies affect international trade flows.

Global Value Chains: Modern trade often involves complex production processes spread across multiple countries. Analyzing these chains helps in understanding the interdependencies in global trade.

International Finance:

Exchange Rates: The value of one currency in terms of another is crucial for international transactions. Studying different exchange rate systems (fixed, floating, and pegged) and their effects on economies is a key component.

Balance of Payments: This comprehensive record of all economic transactions between residents of a country and the rest of the world helps in assessing a country's economic position.

International Capital Flows: Understanding how capital moves across borders, including foreign direct investment (FDI) and portfolio investment, is vital for comprehending global financial markets.

Challenges in International Economics Assignments

International economics assignments often require a deep understanding of theoretical models, as well as the ability to apply these models to real-world scenarios. Here are some common challenges students face:

Complex Theories and Models: Grasping intricate theories like the Heckscher-Ohlin model, which explains the distribution of production and the pattern of trade, can be daunting.

Data Analysis: Assignments frequently involve analyzing large datasets to identify trends and make economic predictions. This requires proficiency in statistical software and a solid understanding of econometric techniques.

Keeping Up with Current Events: Global economics is a dynamic field, and staying updated with the latest developments is crucial for accurate analysis and reporting.

The Importance of Expert Guidance

Given these challenges, expert guidance can make a significant difference in your academic performance. Here’s how specialized help can benefit you:

Clarity and Understanding: Experts can break down complex concepts into simpler, more digestible parts, helping you understand the core principles of international economics.

Practical Application: Tutors and professionals can guide you on how to apply theoretical models to real-world data, enhancing your analytical skills.

Customized Support: Personalized tutoring sessions can address your specific weaknesses, ensuring you gain a comprehensive understanding of the subject.

Effective Strategies for International Economics Homework

To conquer your international economics homework, consider the following strategies:

Create a Study Plan: Organize your study sessions around the key topics of your course. Allocate time for reading, practicing problems, and reviewing notes.

Engage with Real-World Data: Apply theoretical concepts to current economic data. Use resources like the World Bank, International Monetary Fund (IMF), and World Trade Organization (WTO) for up-to-date information.

Join Study Groups: Collaborating with peers can provide different perspectives and enhance your understanding of difficult concepts.

Utilize Online Resources: There are numerous online platforms offering tutorials, lectures, and practice problems in international economics.

Resources for International Economics Students

Leveraging the right resources can significantly improve your understanding and performance in international economics. Here are some valuable resources:

Textbooks and Academic Journals: Core textbooks like "International Economics" by Paul Krugman and Maurice Obstfeld, and academic journals such as "The Journal of International Economics" offer in-depth insights and advanced knowledge.

Online Courses and Lectures: Websites like Coursera, edX, and Khan Academy provide free or affordable courses and lectures on various international economics topics.

Economic Data Websites: Utilize websites such as the World Bank, IMF, and OECD for reliable economic data and reports.

Tutoring Services: Consider seeking professional tutoring services that specialize in international economics to receive personalized assistance and guidance.

Case Studies in International Economics

Studying case studies can provide practical insights into how international economics theories are applied in real-world scenarios. Here are a few notable examples:

The North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA): Analyzing the impact of NAFTA on trade, investment, and employment in the United States, Canada, and Mexico provides a comprehensive understanding of regional trade agreements.

The Eurozone Crisis: Studying the causes and consequences of the Eurozone crisis helps in understanding the complexities of monetary unions and the challenges of maintaining economic stability across multiple countries.

China’s Economic Rise: Examining China’s trade policies, investment strategies, and currency management offers insights into the economic strategies of emerging markets and their impact on global economics.

The Future of International Economics

The field of international economics is constantly evolving, with new challenges and opportunities emerging on the global stage. Here are some trends and developments to watch:

Digital Trade and E-commerce: The rise of digital trade and e-commerce is reshaping global trade patterns, creating new opportunities and challenges for policymakers and businesses.

Sustainable Development and Trade: Increasing emphasis on sustainability is influencing trade policies and practices. Understanding the intersection of environmental and economic goals is becoming crucial.

Geopolitical Shifts: Ongoing geopolitical shifts, such as trade tensions between major economies and the impact of Brexit, continue to influence global economic dynamics.

Conclusion

International economics is a complex and dynamic field that requires a deep understanding of both theoretical models and real-world applications. By seeking International Economics homework help, you can gain the expertise and support needed to excel in your assignments and build a solid foundation for your future career. Embrace the resources available to you, stay engaged with current economic events, and continually apply what you learn to practical scenarios. With the right approach and expert guidance, you can conquer the challenges of international economics and achieve academic success

source: https://www.economicshomeworkhelper.com/blog/mastering-international-economics-expert-guidance-homework-success/

[alexander-finance-blogs]

The Intersection of Public Finance and Healthcare: Navigating Your Assignments

In the realm of public finance, the interplay between healthcare and financial management is a complex but crucial area of study. Understanding how public finance principles apply to healthcare systems can be challenging, especially for students grappling with assignments in this field. Whether you're dealing with budgeting, funding allocation, or policy analysis, the integration of these two fields requires a nuanced approach. For those struggling with their coursework, seeking public finance homework help can provide valuable insights and guidance.

Understanding the Role of Public Finance in Healthcare

Public finance involves the management of a country's revenue, expenditures, and debt load through various government and public entities. Healthcare, being a significant part of public expenditure, falls under the purview of public finance, affecting both policy decisions and financial strategies.

Budgeting and Allocation: One of the primary responsibilities of public finance in healthcare is the allocation of funds. Governments must decide how to distribute limited resources across various healthcare services and programs. This involves prioritizing different areas, such as preventive care, emergency services, and chronic disease management. Effective budgeting ensures that resources are used efficiently to meet the healthcare needs of the population.

Funding Mechanisms: Different countries employ various funding mechanisms for healthcare, including taxation, insurance contributions, and direct government funding. Understanding these mechanisms is crucial for analyzing how public finance impacts healthcare. For example, in countries with universal healthcare systems, funding is primarily through taxation, while others may rely on a mix of private insurance and public funding.

Policy Analysis: Public finance also plays a key role in shaping healthcare policies. Analyzing the financial implications of policy decisions, such as changes in healthcare coverage or the introduction of new programs, is essential. This requires a deep understanding of both financial principles and healthcare needs.

Challenges in Public Finance and Healthcare Assignments

Navigating assignments that involve public finance and healthcare can be challenging due to several factors:

Complex Data Analysis: Healthcare finance involves analyzing complex data, including budgets, expenditure reports, and funding sources. Students must be proficient in interpreting this data to provide accurate and insightful analyses. This often requires a strong grasp of financial principles and statistical methods.

Policy Implications: Understanding the implications of various policies on healthcare funding and delivery is crucial. Students must be able to evaluate how policy changes impact financial stability and healthcare outcomes. This requires not only financial acumen but also an understanding of healthcare systems and policies.

Ethical Considerations: Public finance in healthcare often involves ethical considerations, such as equity in access to services and the prioritization of funding. Students must navigate these ethical dilemmas while providing well-reasoned analyses and recommendations.

How to Approach Your Public Finance and Healthcare Assignments

When tackling assignments that involve public finance and healthcare, consider the following approaches:

Thorough Research: Start by conducting thorough research on the topic. This includes understanding the basics of public finance and healthcare systems, reviewing relevant literature, and analyzing current trends and policies. Utilize academic journals, government reports, and reputable sources to gather information.

Data Analysis: Pay close attention to the data provided in your assignment. This may include financial reports, budget allocations, or policy documents. Use appropriate analytical tools and techniques to interpret the data and draw meaningful conclusions.

Policy Evaluation: Evaluate the financial implications of different healthcare policies. Consider how changes in funding, coverage, or service delivery affect both the budget and healthcare outcomes. Provide well-supported recommendations based on your analysis.

Seek Help When Needed: If you're struggling with complex concepts or data analysis, seeking public finance homework help can be beneficial. Expert assistance can provide clarity on challenging topics, help with data interpretation, and offer guidance on structuring your assignment effectively.

Resources for Public Finance and Healthcare Assignments

Several resources can aid you in completing assignments related to public finance and healthcare:

Academic Journals: Journals such as Health Economics, Journal of Public Economics, and Public Finance Review provide valuable insights and research findings on the intersection of public finance and healthcare.

Government Reports: Government agencies often publish reports and data on healthcare funding and financial management. These reports can provide up-to-date information and case studies relevant to your assignments.

Online Databases: Databases like JSTOR, Google Scholar, and PubMed offer access to a wide range of academic articles and research papers on public finance and healthcare topics.

Assignment Help Services: Professional assignment help services can offer tailored assistance for your public finance and healthcare assignments. These services provide expert guidance, helping you navigate complex topics and improve your understanding.

Conclusion

The intersection of public finance and healthcare is a critical area of study that involves managing resources, evaluating policies, and understanding complex financial mechanisms. Navigating assignments in this field requires a solid grasp of both financial principles and healthcare systems. By conducting thorough research, analyzing data effectively, and seeking expert assistance when needed, you can excel in your public finance and healthcare assignments. If you find yourself struggling with any aspect of your coursework, remember that public finance homework help is available to support your academic success.

Reference: https://www.financeassignmenthelp.com/blog/public-finance-healthcare-scholarly-exploration/

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Demystifying Stability in Control Systems: A Step-by-Step Guide for Assignment Success

Control systems are integral to modern engineering, ensuring that systems behave in predictable and desired ways. One challenging topic in this field is system stability, a concept that determines whether a system will remain in a steady state over time. This blog provides a detailed explanation of stability and a step-by-step guide to answering a sample question. For students seeking control system assignment help, understanding stability is crucial. Let's explore this topic without getting bogged down in complex formulas.

Understanding Stability in Control Systems

Stability in control systems refers to the ability of the system to return to its equilibrium state after a disturbance. A stable system will not exhibit unbounded oscillations or divergent behavior when subjected to an external input or internal changes.

Key Concepts

Equilibrium State: The state at which the system is at rest or in a constant condition.

Disturbance: Any external or internal factor that disrupts the system's equilibrium.

Types of Stability:

Asymptotic Stability: The system returns to equilibrium after a disturbance.

Marginal Stability: The system oscillates within a bounded range and does not return to equilibrium but also does not diverge.

Unstable: The system's response grows without bound over time.

Sample Question

Question: Given the following transfer function of a control system, determine whether the system is stable: G(s)=10/[s^2+3s+2]

Step-by-Step Solution

Step 1: Identify the Denominator of the Transfer Function

The transfer function G(s) is given by:

G(s)=10/[s^2+3s+2]

To determine stability, we focus on the denominator of the transfer function, which represents the characteristic equation of the system. The characteristic equation is:

s^2 + 3s + 2 = 0s2+3s+2=0

Step 2: Find the Roots of the Characteristic Equation

To determine the system's stability, we need to find the roots (also called poles) of the characteristic equation. This can be done by factoring the quadratic equation:

s^2 + 3s + 2 = (s + 1)(s + 2) = 0

The roots are:

s=−1

s=−2

Step 3: Analyze the Roots

The stability of the system depends on the location of these roots in the complex plane:

If all roots have negative real parts, the system is stable.

If any root has a positive real part, the system is unstable.

If roots have zero real parts (purely imaginary), the system's stability needs further analysis (marginally stable or unstable).

In this case, both roots s=−1 and s=−2 have negative real parts.

Step 4: Conclude the Stability

Since all roots of the characteristic equation have negative real parts, the system is asymptotically stable. This means that the system will return to its equilibrium state after a disturbance.

How We Help Students

At matlabassignmentexperts.com, we understand the complexities involved in control systems and other engineering subjects. Our dedicated team of experts offers personalized control system assignment help to ensure you grasp challenging concepts such as system stability. We provide detailed explanations, step-by-step solutions, and tailored tutoring to help you excel in your studies. Whether you're struggling with homework, preparing for exams, or working on projects, our support can make a significant difference in your academic journey.

Conclusion

Understanding stability in control systems is essential for ensuring that systems behave predictably and remain in a steady state after disturbances. By following a systematic approach to analyzing the characteristic equation, we can determine the stability of a given system. If you find these concepts challenging, remember that expert help is available. Reach out for control system assignment help and enhance your understanding of this critical subject.

[theunholyrogue]

never leave me (leo x gn!reader)

can honestly work w any leo… maybe… can confirm 2k7, 2k12, + bayverse

can be gn but is based on my fem oc so to each is their own 🫶🏻

first written post don’t hate if it sucks :)

tw: 18! contains swearing, angst, gore/blood, knives, + near death, possible typos lol

You have been warned ~

Another day that had you at the end of your rope. You could feel the sweat running down your face and your heart rate thumping erratically as you took out all of your frustration in the ring of your local, lowkey, boxing club with one of your clubmates, Matthew.

You were exhausted— mentally and physically. Your professors had piled another days worth of homework, study guides, and reading assignments into one night and to be turned in the next morning. Your guardian was bad off again, their drinking habits leading them to the bar to remain there for the rest of the evening, for them to return in the early morning hours to come in and attempt to pick another fight with you. Your human friends— April O’Neil and Casey Jones — had recently started dating and were overwhelmingly consumed in one another’s time to mind you any of their attention, and your terrapin friends, well, they were busy cheering up Donatello, whom was heartbroken over the news of April and Casey’s blossoming relationship. Well — at least Raphael and Michaelangelo were, and you had not heard from your boyfriend, Leonardo, in days. That did not concern you, as it was normal to not hear from him in a day or so and vice versa. You two had that kind of trust with one another.

However, you found yourself with a sinking feeling that he was purposely ignoring you today. The feelings had eaten away at your remaining brick walls all day until you mentally broke. The only thing keeping you from lashing out at any of the people you love was the human punching bag in front of you. Matthew was taking a heavy beating from you, even more than you usually give him. The adrenaline running through your veins caused a rush in your system, not alerting your mental status to the major return punch and undercut that Matthew had delivered unto your left cheek and jaw. Physically, however, you stumbled backwards and collapsed onto your butt.

You took a moment, your body was shaking from the sudden lack of movement, your eyelids involuntary blinking before gazing up at Matthew. He was panting, his facial expression revealing a pained, clenching emotion. Oh, shit, you thought while grinding your teeth together. You had gone too far— again.

“Dammit, Matt, I’m sorry,” you stated while standing to your feet. Matthew tugged his gloves off of his hands and helped you stabilize yourself, the adrenaline finally starting to tone down, slowly.

“Don’t worry, I’ll only be hurting for a few days,” Matthew replied with a chuckle, only to grimace again. “I do think I am going to head home now, before my ma starts to worry.”

You nodded, “Alright, be careful. Sorry again.”

Matthew slipped through the ropes around the boxing ring and to his gym bag, shoving his red gloves in and pulling out a black, fleece, zip-up jacket. He replied while tugging the fabric onto his body, “I said it’s all good. See ya next time.”

You watched as he walked towards the door, turning to give you a wave and leaving soon after. You waved back, giving it a short second or so until he disappeared from the frame. You stood in the empty ring for a moment longer, taking in the empty building around you. It was quiet— something you weren’t used to. Quiet always meant bad, and right now, as the adrenaline continued to wear off, the overwhelming anxiety of your issues started to emerge again. “Bloody hell,” you uttered while exiting the ring yourself, hanging your gloves onto the ring ropes, and walking over to your bag. Quickly, you slipped your baggy sweatpants over your gym shorts that clung tight to your legs, then slipped a sweatshirt over your tank top. Slipping the straps of your book bag over your shoulders and pulling your hair out from the shirt and bag to flow freely, you left the empty building and headed for the lair.

….

“Guys?” You called out as you entered the lair, peering around the area for any sign of life.

“Dudette!” Michaelangelo called out as he slipped up behind you, giving a tight hug.

You chuckled while reaching up and gripped his forearms. “Hey, Mikey! Where’s everyone else?”

“Don is in his lab doing smart Don things, I guess distracting himself from you know who,” the orange masked turtle started as he pulled away and walked over to the lounge area. You followed suit, slipping the straps of your bag off of your shoulders to slide down onto the rounded couch ledge.

“Raph hadn’t felt all that good today, so he’s been in bed for a good chunk of the day,” Michaelangelo continued as he plopped down into a bean bag chair facing the TV.

“Anddd yours truly just got back and is in the dojo,” he finished, fiddling with the remote to turn on said TV and watch some random cartoon.

“Just got back?” You asked, curious.

“Yeeahh, something about a quick patrol. I guess nothin’ happened!” Michaelangelo exclaimed before his full attention to the show that started playing upon turning to a specific channel.

You nodded, walking past the youngest turtle and to the dojo. Peeking your head in, you spotted Leonardo doing some self training. You had assumed that Splinter was already in bed by what time it was and entered the dojo.

“I’m not interrupting, am I?” You asked, although you knew that you were, you also knew that he was going to say no, like always.

“Not at all,” Leonardo replied, refraining from pausing his exercise. Something about his reply felt sarcastic this time, or that something was wrong.

“Can I join?”

“Why not?”

Leonardo hardly gave you any time to actually prepare for an attack, catching you off guard. You quickly dodged his attack by moving out of the way.

“What the hell!?” You stuttered out in surprise, but your boyfriend did not answer.

The leader continued to throw punches or leg swipes in your direction, some slide arounds, all of which the only thing you could quickly do was dodge and avoid. You weren’t training to be a Kunoichi, only having a few years of boxing under your belt— and that was pointless with how merciless Leonardo was being. Eventually, you made the mistake of throwing your arm up to protect the side of your face that was hit earlier, when he threw a punch towards you. This led him to grabbing your arm, stabilizing your body, and flipping you onto your back, knocking the breath from your lungs.

Stunned, you gasped to regain the breath that you had just lost, shocked that Leonardo had even done that. He was bigger than you, and most definitely stronger. His baby blue orbs stared down at you, “I win.”

“Are you serious?” You wheezed out while propping yourself up on your hands. Coughing you after, you stood up and glared at him. “What was that about?”

“What? Couldn’t handle it?”

“The hell! No!”

“Maybe you could’ve with the dude from boxing.”

You stared at the turtle, your eyes had widened and mouth slightly agape from what you had just heard come from your boyfriend’s mouth.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me,” Leonardo retorted, crossing his arms as he watched you with careful eyes. Analyzing your reactions.

“What are you trying to say, Leonardo?” You asked, mimicking his stance by crossing your arms and watching him.

“I’m saying I don’t like your “friendship” with that guy.”

Your eyebrows furrowed. “No, you’re saying that you don’t like it because it’s a guy. Which means you don’t trust me,” you stated. Then you shook your head, “Hold up— are you following me now?”

Leonardo remained calm, “No, I just so happened to patrol in that area of town and was going to come by and see you. That was until I saw you with another guy. How do you think it feels to see you with another guy?”

“Leo, what the hell. Why is that even anything you are worried about?”

“I’m sorry! But in case you forgot, I am a 6 foot mutant turtle! And that guy… well, he’s human! Somebody who can take you on dates and can actually be seen with you out in public without the rest of the world freaking out…” Leonardo replied, his arms flinging outward in a jagged fashion.

You were speechless. Had you been at fault for causing him to feel this way? Why was Leonardo feeling this way? You felt irritated at his insecurities but saddened that he felt this way. Your feelings were emotionally enhanced by the sheer amount of stress and anxiety that had been building up over the weeks before, so, you felt yourself dip off the edge.

“Leo, you have got to be joking! If I had truly gave a damn what everyone else thinks, then my life would be so much more miserable. But I guess that doesn’t matter when the one person I so desperately want to spend the rest of my life with is standing here feeling jealous and insecure that I would even consider wanting somebody else or even be concerned about it. I guess there’s nothing I could ever do to make you feel like I truly want you?

Leonardo widened his eyes at your sharp reply, feeling a sharp pain in his chest. His brow ridges contorted into a downward shape, his facial features drooping into that of a saddened expression. As much as you wanted to console him, your heart rate had spiked again from the sudden argument between you two, and your emotions began to weigh heavy on your shoulders and heart from everything. You turned away and bolted for the door, wanting to be as far away from the lair as possible. You ignored the turtle as he called out for you to wait, but you were already on autopilot to get home. Tears started to slip down your cheeks, blurring your vision. The next thing you remember was a sharp strike to the back of your head and from there, everything went black.

…

April and Casey had made their appearance in the lair later, maybe two hours after you and Leonardo had gotten into it. Leo had figured he would give you some space, he shouldn’t have gone after the conversation like he did. It racked his brain, he was always the calm, cool, and collected one, one of the many reasons he was made to be the leader. Yet, he allowed his emotions to take over the best of him and only caused trouble for the both of you.

Everyone had only assumed that you had left, at least Mikey did. Raph and Donnie didn’t know that you had made an appearance, and April and Casey weren’t there. Leo had not mentioned the argument, so as everyone sat in the lounge area debating on a movie to watch, April and Casey’s phone both dinged. Casey ignored the notification, but April turned her attention to the screen and lit up, seeing that it was a text from you. Tapping the notification and unlocking her phone in the process, she noticed that it was a video. Her eyebrows contorted into that of confusion from the frame that was visible. Casey glanced over at her and furrowed his eyebrows, “What’s up?” He asked, gaining everyone’s attention. April stood up and looked at Leonardo and Donatello, “Lab, now.” The two terrapins were confused, yet followed the female into the Donatello’s lab.

The female sat down and placed her phone against one of the monitors in front of her, while each of the two stood over her shoulder. She reached up and pressed play on the video that you had sent.

There you were, slouching over in a chair with each wrist tied down to the arms and each ankle to the front legs with rope. Surrounding you were two men, to each side, wearing suits and a black ski mask. They looked to be holding knives in hand, with the other being free. Another male walked into view, wearing the same attire as the first two, but this one did not wear a mask. His back faced the camera, so the trio could not see his face.

He waved his hand, his pointer finger up. The masked man to your left side reached up, grabbing a handful of your hair and yanking back, causing you to look up at the unmasked male. You winced in pain, which only caused the male to tug more.

“Careful wit’ her, fellas. She’s gotta tell us what we needa know,” the leader, the three assumed as they watched, spoke. He bent down to be closer to your height. “Hey, pretty lady, how are ya’?” He asked, chuckling.

You remained quiet, only staring at the male with as much energy as you could muster.

“Not a chatty one, eh? That’s a’ight, doll. This won’t take long— at least— as long as ya’ tell us what we want to know,” the leader continued. “Now, we’s ain’t stupid. We know that ya’ have a… special… group of friends. We just want ta know where they are.”

The three immediately felt sick to their stomach. These guys were after the turtles— resulting in using you to get them. Leonardo covered his mouth to refrain from throwing up, his body visibly shaking. Oh my god, he thought.

Your stare narrowed, “Who wants to know?” You asked, your voice hoarse.

The leader stood quiet and still for moments, his facial features still hidden. With his hand in frame, the three watched as his finger twitched downward. The second masked man flipped his blade around his fingers before slamming it down into the back of your hand. You let out a pained scream, jerking your arm but to no avail to remove the painful stimuli due to being tied down.

“I ask the questions ‘round here, doll.”

The masked male pulled the blade out of your hand, only for blood to begin pooling out of the wound and flowing onto the floor below.

“Now, where do I find ‘em? ‘Em turtles,” the leader asked again.

“The ocean has plenty of turtles,” you replied, only for the first masked man to repeat the action the second had done and shove his blade down into your hand. You cry out again, this time tears start to flow down your face.

“Listen here, you bastard, I’m not telling you a got damn thing!” You shout, causing the two masked men to correspondingly slash you across your bare shoulders, tearing the fabric of your tank top. Leonardo had barely noticed that your sweater and sweats from earlier were now gone, which led him to questioning what happened behind the scenes.

Continuing through the video, the duo had performed numerous actions, from stabbing you in the gut to slicing open a section of your exposed thighs. During one point, you were waterboarded and nearly drowned from the actions, quicker than most but you were also experiencing blood loss. Leonardo and April had thrown up in their mouths a few times, Leo actually having to use a trashcan a time or two. Donatello had to look away for most of the video, his heart aching for his best friend to be in this situation.

Finally, as the end of the long, twenty minute video came to a close, the unmasked male stood up and stepped backwards, closer to the camera and spoke in a gentle, calm voice, as if he hadn’t conducted such a horrendous act.

“If you don’t want this to happen to you, then you all will meet us at the docks within the hour. The turtles in exchange for the girl. Hurry, she may not make it too much longer.” He stated before one of the men shoved the knife deep into your collarbone region, thus ending the video.

…

It didn’t take long for the turtles, April, and Casey to get to the docks. They peered over the ledge of one of the warehouse buildings and gathered data from the scene below. They saw four masked men standing guard around the dock, one masked man standing at the dge of the dock with you, blade to your neck, and the unmasked male standing in the middle of the dock. None of the six knew who this guy was, or what he wanted with the four brothers, but none of them were going to find out. Whilst being stealthy, they all closed in on the scene, proceeding with their plan.

Weapons put away and hidden, Casey and April stepped out, each holding onto one of the turtles arms. Casey holding Donatello and Michaelangelo, April holding Leonardo and Raphael.

“We have the turtles. Let our friend go,” April stated. The male glanced up and smirked. He started walking closer until he was within distance of examining each of them. A proud, wide grin etched itself across his face as the four masked men walked up and grabbed each turtled from April and Casey.

“We had a deal,” he started, snapping his fingers in the air.

The masked man put the knife away, then proceeded to push you backwards into the freezing salt water below.

Leonardo quickly pulled himself free as the masked man holding onto Raphael yelled, “They have weapons!”

Raphael, Donatello, and Michaelangelo pulled themselves free and quickly grabbed their weapons, preparing to fight the enemies as Leonardo ran down the dock, pushing past the masked male, and diving head first into the water. The water was rough, indicating the storm that was coming in soon. The cold water was a shock to his terrapin body but nothing matters as much as finding you. He swam around until he found your body. You had not tried to swim up and fight against the waves. No— you were too exhausted and to be frank, to broken to try and fight to survive. Leonardo quickly grabbed your body and swam back to the surface. The waves pushed and pulled on him but he fought hard against them, throwing your body onto the dock and then pulling himself up. You laid lifeless in front of him, and he was terrified. Leonardo immediately started doing chest compressions on you, causing a few of your ribs to snap and crack from the pressure.

“Breathe, got dammit! Breathe!” Leonardo yelled as he pulled away and connected his lips to yours, breathing a deep breath into your mouth twice before returning to chest compressions.

His brothers and friends gathered around, watching him as he performed his CPR. Donatello was about to drop down and take over before you reacted, coughing up salt water and phlegm. Instinctively, you turned onto your side to keep from aspirating the fluid back into your lungs and choking, now coughing and gasping for air.

“Quickly, she’s cut open. She needs treatment,” Donatello brought to Leonardo’s attention. Without hesitation, your boyfriend scooped you up into his arms and fled for the lair, leaving everyone else behind.

…

You didn’t recall much between returning to lair, Donatello cleaning your excruciating burning wounds with alcohol, or stitching you up. You also didn’t realize that you had fallen asleep, only to wake up in your boyfriend’s bed. You gazed around, finding yourself making eye contact with the leader himself.

“L… Leo,” you muttered, so quietly that you questioned if you had really spoken. The turtle released the breath he had been holding in for a long minute, moving closer to you before wrapping his arms around you. You reached up and weakly wrapped your arms around his body, tears immediately snaking down your cheeks.

“I didn’t tell,” you spoke softly, hiccuping. Leonardo shushed you, nodding his head, “I know, my love,” he replied.

“I’m sorry for making you feel like there was better. No one can compare,” you continued, gripping the edge of his shell tightly.

Leonardo only gripped you tighter. “You didn’t do anything. I let my jealousy get the best of me. I’m sorry for causing you pain,” he spoke.

You remained silent, only holding onto him.

“Leo?”

“Yes, petal?”

“Never leave me…”

“Not in a million years would I leave you.”

[doxiedreg]

I still have so much school trauma to work through and come to terms with. In general I accept what happened happened and I can't change the past. But on the other hand I'm so fucking angry at the system that failed me and even neurotypical kids. The educational system as it is now is not good. It's just test after test, essay after essay, constant deadlines, constant homework it's just not healthy. Learning should be fun. I loved learning new things as a kid, I was a hard worker. But then school just overworks you, just keeps demanding more eventhough you are at your limit. Even though your mental health is already shit because you are bullied like hell and nobody does something about it. Already shit because you don't have any close friends because you don't even know what to do anymore together with other people your age because you aren't really interested in most teenager stuff. Already shit because you are constantly suffering sensory overload from out of control loud classes, crowded hallways, people invading your personal space and purposeful scaring you by popping lunchbags and drink cartons. Some teachers are just 0 fun to listen to and make the subject they are teaching the most boring thing ever. Dreading whenever it's someone's birthday because it means there will be balloons everywhere which you are terrified of. Having to explain to teachers over and over why you can't do certain assignments or why you need more time. Physical education being the most shitty thing ever as I can never keep up with the others and it makes me feel pathetic. Also the exercises are often not fun for me at all. Just.. school did so much damage to me.. they denied for a very long time just how stressed I was because I still had good grades and behaved in class. My parents kept telling them how stressed I appeared at home. That my hair was falling out, that I was trembling that I didn't want to eat that I was struggling. But they just shoved the concerns away. It wasn't until I had a panic attack in class at school that they assigned someone to me to help me. But it was too little too late. I started going home early because I was just too mentally unwell. They started to question this as me slacking off because I was lazy or something even though I was grossly overworked. In the end I became suicidal and extremely depressed and stressed and hit rock bottom and stayed home. At first this was meant to be temporary but in the end I just dropped out because I couldn't take it anymore. It was a very dark time..and it took a lot of therapy and time to crawl out of it...school had destroyed my self image. I thought of myself as stupid and lazy and not good enough, never good enough no matter how hard I tried. I wondered if my classmates missed me, it they even noticed I wasn't around anymore. I never got closure on that. But luckily I made a new support system for myself online. There were some toxic friends in there at first but it's been a few years now that I've kicked them all out and I feel loved and cared about and seen. In may this year it will also be a year that I've lived on my own, in my own studio apartment without housemates and it also did wonders for me. I mean it's also been tough and brought new stressful things to deal with but I like being in control over my environment..I hope to get a dog in the future to help me with emotional stability (I miss having a dog on my lap and petting them the most I'm so touch starved but I'm not fond of touching people) and getting out more but I'm not ready yet. For now I have my lil fish guys and snail guys to look after and that's already nice

Anyway.. sorry for rambling..I just had to let that all out, it was building up too much. Ever since the sun started shining I feel like my brain is processing so much stuff in the bg i guess the book post triggered some of it to come outward

To my friends: even if we don't talk much, I love you all so much and I'm so happy to have you all in my life. You make me feel loved, appreciated and supported. You make me feel seen. I am so grateful to have a loving support system, even if I'm a lil shy to reach out sometimes still.

Just you guys are all great, remember that

[threecheersforsuccess]

Uni Study Diary 16th Entry: 1st Weekend Plan for Finals

Research Methods

The final exam will be a recall and application-based multiple choice test with no chance of explanation, so I will cleaning up and combining ANKI decks for this exam, as well as adding in more examples of the different terms I need to know. I'm not too worried for the multiple choice test, since most of the grade relies on the final assignment. I will be writing up a draft of the final assignment today; I am detailing a setup for an independent research project on resilience in students. After I write up this draft, I will go over any questions I might have with an email to the teacher, and if needed, I will go to her office hours on Monday. This is due Tuesday night.

Biopsychology

Based on the previous exams, this class rarely uses application-based multiple choice questions, so I just have to be familiar with the key concept and terms for recall. I will also be combining ANKI decks and drawing diagrams of major processes in the nervous system that we have covered. On Friday, my TA has an hour open for questions for the final, and I will create a question bank of things I still don't understand to ask.

Organic Chemistry

The trickiest subject to navigate out of all classes. Organic Chemistry tests require fluency in mechanisms, resonance, and drawing lots of molecules, as well as a deep understanding of the major relationships in polarity, stability, intermolecular/intramolecular forces, boiling/melting points, energy, and so much more. Additionally, this alone will not guarantee success on an exam; exams have "alternate universe" problems (ex. manipulation of chirality rules) and situations that concern the subjects in Organic Chemistry 2, connecting our current knowledge with what we will learn in the next quarter (ex. alkyne mechanisms). The application aspect always trips me up, but I will not let that happen to me this time, since I have my hands on past practice exams for the final, and I understand what kinds of problems the professor throws at us. I will be looking at unit summaries to write down a list of concepts I need to understand and go over my old exam questions, worksheet questions, and homework questions. I will not be passively looking at my previous work; I will be using something called the "Feynman Technique" to diagnose my weaknesses. I will be writing down everything I know about a certain topic on a piece of paper without my notes, and I will write it in a way as if I were teaching a child. Aside from explaining the content, I will go from the opposite direction and bring in topics from the next course to see what connections exist between what I know now and future topics. If applicable, I will think in "alternate universe" rules in explaining some of the chapters. After that, I will be filling in the blanks with my notes and old problems. At the same time, I will create a list of questions to email my TA, and I will go to my TA's office hours on Wednesday. The office hours for my professor will be packed this Thursday, but I will still pop in to hear from what others may be struggling on. In the upcoming week, based on my proficiency in the topics, I will do more problems that match up the ones that I still need help with, and I will continue to email for help along the way.

Python Course

I will be marathoning the Codeacademy Python 3 course this Sunday and all of the extra problems given by my professor for exam review. I do need to review some of the basics, which includes dictionaries and nested loops and doing this activity for the weekend will help be diagnose other problem areas.

[deeperry604]

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[grapeicies]

8 Things 8 Years of Therapy Taught Me

(Working with a professional version)

1) STOP PUSSYFOOTING YOUR STRUGGLES AND PICK SOMETHING TO WORK ON.

It’s tempting to think that you can go into a therapist’s office with no game plan. 

It’ll go like this: you tell them something’s wrong, you clarify what you think is wrong, and they use their fancy degrees and licenses to eventually sus out what’s really wrong with you and come up with either a miracle medicine or say that one perfectly profound thing that will set your life into motion. 

Doesn’t work that way.

Your therapist is human. While they are more trained and more experienced with handling a wider variety of issues, struggles, and stories than the average person, they still cannot read your mind. They cannot understand how you tick by the short amount of time they have you for, especially when it’s weekly or monthly sessions. In order to get the best out of your sessions, you have to identify problem areas and at least start the process of brainstorming what direction you want to move in. 

Your therapist cannot fix you. They cannot force you to recover. 

You are always in charge of your own recovery. It doesn’t work otherwise.

Personally, I like following the CBT model and focusing on changing behaviors in order to change thoughts in order to change feelings. It feels less overwhelming to change my behaviors because my thoughts aren’t nearly as visible as how I behave and my feelings are involuntary reactions to my own thoughts and events happening around me. If you’re too overwhelmed to decide on just one behavior to work on, that’s what your therapist is there for. To guide you.

2) Do your fucking research.

Most people have the impression of therapy as an hour of you sitting on a chaise and talking the ear off of a nodding observer who takes notes and occasionally chimes in with profound bits of wisdom. Psychodynamic therapy is the most common form of therapy and it works for some people! It just doesn’t work for everyone. Know that if it didn’t work for you, there are still options out there for you to still try!

Just a short list of alternative therapies:

Behavioral Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (My personal favorite experience!)

Art Therapy

Music Therapy

EDMR Therapy

And many more

There are also different levels of care (from highest to lowest; commentary is US-centric!)

Inpatient [Individual or Group] (Split into Residential and Acute) Meant for short-term stabilization in a medical/hospital setting in an emergency ONLY. 

Partial Hospitalization (PHP) [Group] the step down from inpatient; after a person is stabilized, they are placed in 5 days-a-week, 8 hours-a-day care where they commute from their residence to their program in order to reintroduce structure to them after a major disruption in their life (like an inpatient stay). Typically, group sessions are paired with a team of providers who advise a personal care counselor who supervises your progress. A person can be referred to PHP as either an alternative to inpatient or as a transition from inpatient, depending on their level of need. If you need PHP and cannot afford it: ASK ABOUT HOSPITAL CHARITY CARE OPTIONS. (Lasts anywhere from 1 week to 2 months)

Intensive Outpatient (IOP) [Group] can either be a step down from IP/PHP or a preventative measure to keep a person out of the higher levels of care (because IP and PHP are expensive and will 100% increase your insurance rates, unfortunately). An IOP schedule operates anywhere from 2-4 days a week, depending on your level of need. Most IOP will start you at 3 days a week and either increase or decrease the number of days you attend depending on their assessment of your wellness. Like a PHP, an IOP will typically pair group sessions with a team of providers and a single PCC who supervises your progress. Also typically has charity programs! I know! I benefited from them! You have to ask though! (Lasts anywhere from 3 - 12 months)

Routine Outpatient Care (ROC) [Individual or Group] the most common form of care. Is often either the precursor to or the ending point of higher levels of care. This is where a person has the most autonomy in the maintenance of their health and is the most long-term form. Most therapists have a sliding scale for payment options. The sliding scale, unfortunately, does not apply if you’re paying with insurance. Make sure to talk to them or their secretary about your financial options and look into potentially free options. (Lasts however long you can afford it or however long you need it to)

Support Groups [Group] (Typically) free community resources meant to explore and process difficult feelings in the company of other people who have gone through similar things! It’s most often in the form of 12-step programs but I hate those so I like to make sure that people know they have other, secular options available! Like SMART! And Facebook Groups! And Discord Servers! Places that are specifically oriented for people who want to feel supported while they recover!

3) Be picky.

I cannot overstate this enough. View therapists like you view a job interview because you are LITERALLY hiring them to help you manage that bitch of a blob of electrified fat sitting in your cranium. You’re setting up for an uncomfortable process; it should be with someone you feel like you can grow to trust.

Ask them:

“How long have you been practicing? What demographic do you specialize with? What are your strengths as a therapist? What are your weaknesses? What methods do you use for treatment? Have you been through therapy yourself? How recently? How often do you seek an outside opinion? Describe your ideal patient. Have you treated patients with similar problems to the ones I have described? How often do you anticipate seeing me? Do you assign homework? How should I prepare for our first session?”

If you are non-white, LGBTQIA+, (previously or currently) poor, disabled, or part of any other marginalized group I urge you to also ask these questions:

“What is your experience level working with my community? How do you view my community? How do you or would you adapt your treatment methods to accommodate people like me? What options are available for me? Do you know someone who might be better suited for my needs?”

I cannot emphasize enough just how much it radically changed my life to find therapy options in my community. There are just some things that all the education in the world cannot compensate for. Someone who meets you on most of your community needs is better than someone who meets you on literally none of your community needs. Not having that connection, feeling like I was being humored but not heard, almost drove me away from therapy entirely.

4) Understand that you are wired to troubleshoot.

If you feel in your gut that something isn’t right, understand that something is not right.

Here’s the caveat though:

What you think is wrong may not actually be what’s wrong. 

Building an accurate intuition for troubleshooting is a gained skill. If your upbringing wired you for dysfunctional relationships and fed into cognitive distortions that overtake your view on situations, then something is still off and still needs to be addressed. Or you’re just able to recognize that you’re in a shitty place and your environment needs to change. Or a whole host of other things. Troubleshooting is RARELY a one-solution fix and it is even more rarely a black-and-white issue. There’s nuances to the gears that keep you going. It often takes time and care to assess and then get to work on everything. If you keep maintenance up on your system and take care of things before they get unmanageable, you will eventually be able to workshop your own solutions. Still, we’re here for professional help because it is beyond a point where we are able to take in on ourselves.

Sit there with your fucking check engine light and do not turn it off because someone tells you to. 

Shine on, you immensely well-developed system, you.

5) DO YOUR GODSDAMNED HOMEWORK.

If your program/therapist asks you to do it, do it. 

This isn’t school. 

You will not be punished for not doing your homework. (Except for potentially being told you are harboring a therapy resistant behavior and that there’s nothing the therapist can do for you as the crushing disappointment from realizing you flaked on something important yet again sets in)

You will also not be rewarded for doing it if you avoid it. (Increased sense of trust between you and your therapist! A sense of accomplishment for having worked on yourself and delivering on a promised result! Increased self-confidence and dopamine rush from feeling reliable!) 

Homework is the way that you show your therapist how committed you are to the process and how accountable you are for your own development. It helps you build trust with them and helps you form a helpful habit.

But, like, also don’t treat it like those last minute assignments you would fill out literally as the teacher was walking through the door. There’s no guideline to this. Your homework is for your personal development. If it’s too insufferable to do consistently, talk to your therapist and figure out something else that does work for you. You are the master of your own destiny. Your therapist is there to make sure you’re held accountable for your progress and to help guide you towards being the best version of yourself.

Fully involve yourself with your homework and make it something you want to do.

5) Be your own snitch.

SNITCH ON YOURSELF.

TELL YOUR THERAPIST EVERYTHING THAT IMPEDED YOUR PROGRESS THAT WEEK/MONTH.

COME INTO YOUR FIRST SESSION WITH A FULLY ITEMIZED LIST OF POTENTIALLY THERAPY RESISTANT HABITS YOU HARBOR, TEACH YOUR THERAPIST HOW TO RECOGNIZE THOSE BEHAVIORS IN YOUR ACTIONS, EXPRESS HOW MUCH YOU WANT TO OVERCOME THEM, AND BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR OWN PROGRESS.

Don’t know what a therapy resistant behavior looks like? Here’s a PsychCentral post.

Resistance is a natural part of recovery. Everyone has resistance within them to change or new thoughts/habits/ideas/whatever. It’s how your brain protects your identity from the things that would wreck it.

And you are here to recognize that your identity is a construct and you are the person who defines it. 

If you are working with the right therapist, being honest will not kill you.

Even if it means being referred to a new therapist. Even if it means being asked to leave your program/your therapist’s practice. Even if it lands you in the hospital. (All have happened to me! It sucked! A lot! It hurt! A lot! I cried! A lot! I lived! A lot! Honestly! I was better for it!)

There’s a level of catharsis that comes with looking your worst fears in the face and answering them with radical honesty. When you’re willingly and brutally honest about the obstacles that come with working with you and the severity of your needs, you are giving your therapist the opportunity to set their limits and boundaries. You are helping them help you by allowing them to be honest about how well they can work within the parameters your situation has set for them. While sometimes the answer is yes, they can help you, sometimes the answer is no, they can’t help you. You must be willing to accept both.

You have to be willing to show your underbelly if you want to get anywhere meaningful.

6) Document the fuck out of everything.

You know those sessions of therapy where you know something important happened that week between now and last session? The ones where you, for the life of you, cannot resummon the thoughts and feelings and words you had when you were stuck in the thick of it?

Document them. 

Sit there and learn how to document every little step, every tear, every smile, every awful, terrible thought. Make vlogs, write letters, fill up journals and scrapbooks and sketchbooks and playlists and write songs and make memes and do everything in your power to make sure you’re able to hold onto what’s important so you can present it to your therapist. 

While you are in therapy, learn how to TAKE NOTES. 

You do not have to take traditional notes (my preferred method was to doodle while we talked and use the images to trigger the memories of what we talked about when I reviewed them later because that’s how my brain works). Understand that you need a reminder and a way to access the information from your sessions later so you can keep doing the work outside of therapy.

Beyond the fact that it is satisfying as fuck to hold your progress in your hands, it is also important because your therapist cannot work with a shrug and an “It was alright. Nothing really happened.” They are not your friend. 

They are there to help you. Help them help you.

7) Learn when it’s time to buckle down and when it’s time to let go.

The hardest skill I had to learn when I was going through therapy was learning when to recognize “I am no longer growing” and then look my therapist in the face and say “Thank you for everything. I’ve learned everything I can learn. I need to go.” But I’ve also heard from people who say they’ve had the opposite problem: they don’t know how to stay. They don’t know when to say “I have things to learn from you and I want to learn them.”

Therapy is a professional venture. While you are building meaningful relationships, it is impossible to complete your journey while relying on the guidance of a single person AND a loose network of fleeting connections is not a support system. It is support soup. 

People need a support *network* constructed from the various enriching relationships they have built for themselves. Therapy is not an exception to this.

Do not be afraid to challenge yourself and explore why you feel the way you do and your emotional urges. Challenge why you feel the urge to run. Challenge why you feel fear when you think of leaving. Understand that when those feelings arise, your growth often lies on the other side of the opposite action.

8) Keep going.

Develop the capacity for grit.

In a society that benefits from your self-hatred and animosity towards the other, it is your radiance and your defiant capacity for love and empathy that is the true revolution.

You cannot change the world. You cannot change your family. You cannot change people.

Let yourself resist those truths and then accept them.

Commit to accepting them.

And then operate within the boundaries placed before you.

You can influence the world around you when you invest in yourself and the people around you. When you demand better for yourself and work for it, you embolden other people to want the same. You may not be able to feel the impact of the mark you will leave on the world when you do better and still you must have faith that your mark is made.

This post is my effort to shape the world I live in using the tools I built for myself. And just like every thought, every quote, every gesture, every conversation, every hug, every tear, and every smile carved and shaped me into the person I am today, I have one wish for everyone who reads this:

I hope for all of you to one day wake up and realize you are currently the best version of yourself that you have ever been.

And that you will only continue to get better.

8 things 8 Years of Recovery Taught me

[matlabhwexperts-blog]

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[bellatrixobsessed1]

Mutilated Mannequin (Part 3)

Azula feels as though she has signed away her soul. She supposes in some more flowery and figurative manner of speaking, that she has. At the very least, she has signed away a portion of her body.

She directs her thoughts elsewhere and begins working out a speech for the class elections; a list of promises and choice words. Perhaps she'd pass out some sort of food since monetary bribes are prohibited by the school.

Her plans thus far included a push for  a better reward system for those on the honor roll and for better funding for the non-athletic extra curriculars. She taps her pen against her lips as she thinks it over. The first formal lunchroom debate is to occur in three days time and she best have some dialogue prepared. Granted, she finds it hard to come up with anything when the student council hasn’t even told her of the questions to be asked and topics to be discussed. 

TyLee drops into the seat next to her. “How’d your...uh...thing go?” 

Azula shrugged. “It was an event and it...occurred.” She wishes that she could say that it isn’t still occurring. “How did your tryouts go?” 

“Fantastic!” TyLee claps her hands together. “You know, varsity is only for upperclassmen, like juniors and seniors…”

“I know what an upperclassmen is, TyLee.” 

“Well, coach Rangi says that she might put me on varsity anyways.” She is beaming from ear to ear and Azula tries to muster up some enthusiasm, but she hasn’t been able to shake her own dread since the night prior. 

It keeps re-emerging in her mind, the image of her altered face. If she can’t even get used to the mental image of it, how the hell is she supposed to cope with seeing it in a mirror? 

“Are you still planning on attending the astronomy club?” TyLee asks. “I think Yue said that she was going, she really likes the moon or something.” The girl gives a shrug. 

“Yes, I’m going.” Azula confirms. Between running for student presidency, maintaining her spot on the honor roll list, and astronomy, she is going to have her hands full. Perhaps it is a good thing, it doesn’t leave much room for dwelling on her nerves. If she is lucky, she might be able to keep herself busy enough to avoid a second appointment. But she knows that she will only be delaying the inevitable. 

She knows that her father will cancel her plans to drag her to the clinic. She just hopes that these appointments won’t conflict with the astronomy club. 

“Are you going to join Yue and I? Mai can’t because she has to watch Tom-Tom on Tuesdays.” 

TyLee bites her cheek. “I can probably come later in the year, but Coach Rangi says that most of our competitions are going to be on Tuesdays and Thursdays, sometimes Saturdays for the big ones.” 

Azula nod, she has an overwhelming desire to guilt her into dropping gymnastics. Instead she lightly bites down on her pen. 

“Are you mad?” 

Azula shakes her head. 

She isn’t mad. 

She is scared. 

Scared and somehow she feels alone. 

.oOo.

She finds herself in the lunchroom again, bracing herself for another conversation that she couldn't get invested in.

"Hey, can I copy your history homework?" Chan asks. "Kyoshi is going ham with these assignments."

"I suppose that it looks that way to someone who hadn’t turned his assignments in, in over a week." Azula shrugs.

"So that's a no?" Chan asks.

"Chan, I threw out that worksheet a week ago." She pushes another away, and I already turned this packet in."

"Well shit..." he mutters.

"I heard you're thinking of joining the astronomy club, Toph." Azula hears Suki say as the pair breezed by.

"That's right!" Toph replies boldly. "I'm going to be Agni High's first blind stargazer! Principal Pathik is going to be so proud."

"You just want to discuss extra terrestrial conspiracy theories." Katara mumbles.

“God, they are such dorks.” Yue comments. 

Azula shrugs but she isn’t going to disagree. Though she does wonder exactly what warranted the comment this time. She tests the waters, “if you think astronomy is for dorks then why are you going to the club?”

“First of all, it’s cool when we do it. Second of all, I promised Katty that I’d be better than her at everything.” 

“Pretty sure that I made Zuzu the same promise.” Azula flicks her bangs. She fills in one last answer on her worksheet and puts it away.

“Done already?” Jet asks.

“Did you expect anything less?” Mai asks. “How long have you been sitting with us now?”

“Much longer than any of us can tolerate.” Azula mutters, drawing a cheerful laugh from TyLee. 

“And here I was going to share my cookie with you.” He shuffles around in his paper bag and fishes out an absurdly large chocolate chip cookie.

Azula holds her hand out. “I suppose that we can tolerate your presence a bit longer.” 

He chuckles and breaks the cookie in half. 

“What about the rest of us?” Yue asks.

“Yeah, you jackass!” Chan adds. 

Azula exhales, it is refreshing to be talking about things unrelated to relationships and homecoming dances, and other matters that remind of her of what’s to come. She tries to immerse herself in the conversation. Tries to remind herself to just think about the first astronomy club meeting.

.oOo.

“I bet that you can’t even work a child friendly telescope.” Yue drums her fingers on the table. 

“I’ve been stargazing longer than you have.” Katara counters. 

Azula finds herself a seat, next to Yue. She gives the room a once over. Other than Yue and Katara, she knows no one. She finds herself somewhat disappointed that Toph had only been jesting about joining the club. She supposes that she doesn’t mind some time to herself. The stars are supposed to be serene anyways. Serene and quiet and a steady constant when she needs some sort of stability. 

“You’re just mad because my daddy bought me the last StareScape model 10.” Yue declares. 

“Just because you have an overpriced telescope, doesn’t mean that you have the brains to use it.”

Azula rolls her eyes, she has an itch to inform Yue that it is a StarScope model 9, but she doesn’t fancy agreeing with the brother of her competition. She would rather observe the squabble than part-take. She isn’t quite in the mood for petty games these days, if she ever had been at all. 

The more she ponders it, the more she begins to consider that, perhaps, she is only with the in crowd because her family has money. That’s the only reason Zuko isn’t harassed. It’s the only reason that the girls flock to him, or so he claims. 

“Tell her, Azula!” Yue pulls her back into the present.”

Azula rolls her eyes. “Tell her what.” 

“That she’s not allowed to be here. No nerds in the astronomy club.”

“I’m fairly certain that the astronomy club was founded by a gaggle of nerds.”

“Whose side are you on?” Yue asks. 

“Whichever side has more brain cells at the time.” She shrugs. Sure the girl’s brother is competition, but at least the girl doesn’t make Azula feel like her IQ points are dwindling with every passing second spent in her company. Resentfully, she recalls that her IQ points are really the only advantages she has. “Besides, this is your age old rivalry. Not mine.”

“Thank you!” Katara throws her hands up. 

“Don’t get the wrong idea. You’re brother is a nuisance and I have a feeling that it runs in the family.” She folds her arms over her chest. She has to remind them every now and again, has to remind herself of why she has a higher place on the social ladder. She has to maintain it somehow. And since she can’t flash a gorgeous smile or flaunt an enticing body, she’d just have to settle for asserting her dominance and pick friends carefully. Not that she really particularly trusts anyone in these halls save for Mai and TyLee. 

Katara scowls but folds her arms with a ‘humph’.

If the banter were to continue it would have been cut short anyhow. Mr. Zhao appears in the room with a stack of books and star charts. She hopes to God that he is less humdrum and sour after school hours. “Where is Pathik?” Asks a boy from the other side of the room. “Usually principal Pathik runs the club.” 

“Pathik is busy with final back to school matters.” Zhao replied. “I will be filling in for him for the time being.”

“Hoo-ray.” Yue slouches in her chair, puffs out her cheeks, and blows at a strand of her hair. Azula can’t help but think that, somehow, that expression is still more attractive than whatever she has going on with her own face at any given moment. She grips her pencil more firmly. 

“I have a rather special announcement. Exciting news.” Zhao drawls. 

His monotonous demeanor certainly drove his words home.

“This year, we are offering a chance to visit the NIR&Ex...”

“Isn’t that a designer brand?” Yue asks.

“It’s the National Interstellar Research and Exploration Institute, you dolt.” Katara hisses. 

“As well as a chance to earn a scholarship to Laogai Lake University. Many astronomers have graduated from there like…” Zhao peers down at his paper. “Wan, Sozin, and Agni High’s own Yangchen.”

“Isn’t Sozin, like, your uncle or something? The one who always talks like a poetry book.” 

“He’s my great-grandfather, Yue. You’re thinking of Iroh.”

“I’m trying to hear this!” Katara shushes through gritted teeth. “Maybe your daddies can bribe you in, but I actually need this.”

Yue rolls her eyes. “Listen to that. I hear that she gets wears secondhand socks from her brother. That’s why they call him Sokka, because he keeps giving her his socks.”

“They call him Sokka because that’s. His Name.”

Azula pinches the bridge of her nose, she doesn’t know just how long she can tolerate this for. She came here for solace and at least a fraction of a moment of peace. 

“Sure it is…” Yue replies.

Azula groans softly before getting up and going to sit next to the boy on the other side of the room. 

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