#Star Wars Why?

[thought-42]

Anyway in an Ascendancy au Ezra Bridger gets adopted by the Stybla because he’s an alien artifact send tweet

[posthumousvigor]

let's face it, Obi-Wan is only a stickler for the rules in comparison to Anakin. this guy thought lightsaber nunchucks were cool as a teenager and jumping out of politicians windows was cool as an adult. he regularly sasses the chancellor of the republic. he saw Anakin and Padmé being super obvious and decided it was none of his business. he sits pussy facing the world in important meetings. hes's a lonely single in your area. he won one (1) fight against a sith lord and decided they were his speciality despite getting his ass handed to him by Dooku multiple times. he's annoying on purpose as a battle strategy. every man he meets desires him carnally and he doesn't notice. he puts one foot on Han Solos ship and is like "damn bitch you live like this" despite having spent 20 years in a desert hole. he gets himself killed to one-up Vader one last time. he's winning the idgaf war

[galactic-rhea]

Ah yes, the "evil" family.

I thought it would be even more funny if it was Luke, of all people, the one who wanted to watch Bloodbath in the Black Moon of the Dragon System.

First || Next

[elbiotipo]

Count Dooku: The Republic is corrupt and undemocratic, and the Jedi are elitist and out of touch, they have opressed us for far too long!

Separatist: I agree! We need to make a new path, down with the Republic, we'll join you!

Count Dooku: Good choice my friend! Welcome to the Dark Side of the Force. My name is Darth Tyrannus. You can join me at the Star Destroyer Malevolence with my friend, General Grievous.

Separatist: wh

Separatist: why are you called like that

[lightasthesun]

Comprehensive Lexicon Guide for First-Time SW Fic Readers:

Flimsi/Flimsiplast = Paper

Flimsiwork/Datawork = Paperwork

Stylus = Pen

Datapad = Tablet

Comlink/Comm = Communication Device/Phone

Binders = Handcuffs

Chronometer = Clock

Spectacles = Eyeglasses

Chrono = Watch

Conservator = Refrigerator

Caf = Coffee

Nerfburger = Hamburger

Blue milk = Milk (literally blue)

Hubba chips = French Fries

Sweet roll = Doughnut

Flatcakes = Pancakes

Tabac = Tobacco

HoloNet = World Wide Web

Holovision/HoloTV = Television

Holodrama/Holovids = Movie/Videos

Holocamera/Holocam = Camera

Holomap = three-dimensional map

Holojournal = Newspaper

Holocube = Picture frame

Holotable = Projector

Holoscanner = X-ray machine

Holojournalist = Reporter

Flatholo/Holograph = Photograph

Sonic Damper = Active Noise Cancellation

Refresher/Fresher= Bathroom

Sonic Bath = Bath

Sanisteam/Sonic shower = Waterless Shower

Hydrospanner = Wrench

Hydro Flask = Water Bottle

Power Cell/Energy Cell = Batteries

Authorization Chip = Decryption key

Datatape = Disk

Datastick = Flash drive

(Personal) Com Code = Phone number

Datachip = SD Card

Synthflesh = Synthetic skin

Glowrod = Flashlight

Sparkstick = Match

Slugthrower = Gun

Slug = Bullet

Vibroblade = a blade that can vibrate at high frequencies, increasing its cutting power and penetrating ability (tactical knife)

Rangefinder = Rifle scope

Turbolaser = Cannon

Ion pike/Vibropike = Spear

Electro Staff = Stun baton

Blaster = Pistol/Rifle

Stun Blaster = similar to a Taser

Landspeeder/Airspeeder/Speeder = Car

Turbolift = Elevator

Slideramp = Escalator

Starfighter = Fighter jet

Rotorcraft = Helicopter

Hoverpack/Jetpack= Jet pack

Speeder Bike = Motorcycle

Skylane = Traffic lane

Railspeeder/Hovertrain = Train

Power Chair/Hoverchair= Wheelchair

Windscreen = Windshield

Podracing = Car racing

Dejarik = Chess

Sabacc = Poker and Blackjack combined

Galactic Rebels = Combat simulator

B'shingh = Dungeons and dragons

Jizz = Jazz music

Wailer = Singer (ie. Jizz Wailer)

Cantina = Bar or Pup

Para Sailing = Paragliding

Aurebesh = Alphabet

Credits = Money

Sleeping Pallet = Bedroll

Naming Day = Birthday

Youngling = Child

Galactic Basic Standard/ Basic = English

Medkit/Medpac = First aid kit

Hypo = Syringe

Medic/Healer = Doctor

Medcenter = Hospital

Bactapatch = Bandaid

Nanoweave = Fabric

Transparisteel = Glass

Plastifoam = Packing material

Durasteel = Steel

Plasteel = Plastic

Duracrete = Concrete

Slicer = Hacker (slicing = hacking)

Identikit = Passport

Minder = Therapist

Synthleather = Vinyl

Viewport = Window

Cooling Unit = Air-conditioning

Honeydarter = Bee

Slythmonger = Drugdealer

Spice = Drugs

Stimpill = Caffeine pill

Power Socket = Plug

Cutters = Scissors

Cycle = Day

Standard Cycle = 24h

Standard Week = 5 days

Standard Month = 35 standard days

Standard Year = approx. ten months

Tenday = literally ten days

Cigarras/Smokes = Cigarettes

Click = Kilometer or 'a moment'

Parsec = a unit of distance

Tweezers/Clanker/tin head/tinnie = Droid

Separatist = Seppie

Promise Ring = Wedding Ring

Body Glove = Jumpsuit

Slicksuit = Wet suit

Civvies = Civilian clothing

Carbonite = a metal alloy used to freeze a person in a state of hibernation

Hyperdrive = device that allows a starship to travel faster than lightspeed

Moisture vaporator = device that can extract water from the air, commonly used on tatooine

Glareshades = Sunglasses

Gasser = Gas Oven

Repulsorlift = technology that can create an anti-gravity field and is used for levitating heavy objects

Heating unit = Heater

Utility Droid = Roomba

Sunbonnet = a Clone trooper helmet

Bad Batcher = a defective Clone Trooper

Banthabrain = birdbrain/ a stupid person

Bantha fodder = waste of space/nonsense

Blast! = word of exclamation

Blasted! = s.o in anger or annoyance

Blaster-brained = dimwitted

Blaster fodder = cannon fodder

Blast off = Piss off

Brainless = Stupid

Bug/Bugger = used to refer to Geonosians

Forceforsaken = godforsaken

Full of Poodoo = full of shit

Poodoo = Shit

Kriff = Fuck

Jedi scum = derogatory term for jedi

Kark = derogatory expletive

Larty = LAAT/i gunship

Laserbrain = insult

Meat droid = derogatory term for Clone Troopers

Redrobes = Palpatines guard

Rookie/Shinie = newly recruited Trooper

Scum = insult to refer to bounty hunters/rebels

Sharpie = Sharp-witted

Sithspawn/Sithspit/Hellspawn! = expletive

Sleemo = Slimeball

Son of a bantha = insult

Wizard! = Cool

Spaced = dead

Hutt-spawn = Bastard

Karabast = exclamation of dismay

Stang = Crap

Buckethead/Bucketbrain = derogatory term for Stormtroopers

Bucket = Helmet

Nat-born = Natural Born

Roger Roger = affirmative/copy that

Droid poppers = EMP grenade

Sitrep = short for situation report

Backwater Planet = any planet that isn't part of the core system

Holocron = device that can project a three-dimensional image of a person/object and is used for communication or entertainment.

Kessel Run = a risky Operation. Commonly used as a metaphor in impossible situations.

Thermal Detonator= device that can create a powerful explosion like a grenade or bomb

Ray Shield/Energy Shield = creates a (protective) barrier

Rebreather = device that allows a person to breathe underwater or in toxic environments

Phrases:

Wild goose chase = wild bantha chase

That's bantha shit = that's bullshit

As slippery as a greased Dug = untrustworthy

Credit for your thoughts = penny for your thoughts

Cut the poodoo = cut the crap

to get your gills in a twist = get upset about something

Holy mother of meteors = holy mother of god

Oh my skies/ Oh my stars = exclamation of surprise

Stars' end! = exclamation of disbelief

What in the blue blazes = exclamation

When Geonosis freezes over/When it snows on tatooine = extremely unlikely

Who pissed in your power supply = who pissed you off

Blast it = damn it

By the maker = exclamation of surprise

Great karking Dragon = expression of disbelief

Lothcat got your tongue = equivalent of 'cat got your tongue?'

Sod it = expression of frustration

[mearchy]

The best fics are the ones that recognize that although Luke Skywalker may APPEAR on the outside to be a normal friendly twink who happens to have cool powers, especially when contrasted with such ship partners as Boba or Din or even Han, he is arguably the scariest person alive in the galaxy around the prequel era. AND, crucially, he is also a fundamentally weird guy. This man was homeschooled on a rural farm his entire life and then apprenticed to a swamp gremlin who showed him how to tap into the cosmic power of the universe. He blew up the death star age 19, killing approx 2 million-ish Imperials. He is a vortex of Force power that can communicate with the ghosts of dead Jedi. He’s staring into the distance and mumbling to himself and doing Yoda aphorisms and casually pulling out the “yeah I could crush that guy into a paste with my mind (:” and nobody around him knows what to do with that. I think he is a character who has very little frame of reference for how a Jedi or a person in general is supposed to act and there is some thing about him that is by necessity really fucking weird and a little scary but he’s so nice that it can throw you off the scent a little bit. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

[slushy-sash]

eepy little general

(based on this cute message from him, he just like me fr)

[collophora]

I resurrected my tumblr just to post this

[chiliger]

These inquisitor meetings are kinda boring.

[vader-anakin]

Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge of the Sith (2005)

[tesb]

Star Wars: The Bad Batch — 3.03: "Shadows of Tantiss"

[thought-42]

A moment at the beginning of Thrawn and Ezra's space adventures

500 word chunklet that doesn't fit anywhere in my 'Ezra Bridger in theChiss Ascendancy' au, yote out into the void so it leaves my gdoc.

Ezra doesn’t remember as much as he should about the immediate post-Purrgil aftermath. He remembers too much time passing in only a few minutes. Colour he can’t describe in words.

Humans are not made to be that close to hyperspace.

He remembers feeling a lot of people dying. It wasn’t the first time. It wouldn’t be the last.

He remembers his arm hanging loose off his shoulder like an empty sleeve, remembers thinking very clearly ‘a lightsaber will cauterise an amputation’.

He remembers staring up at a purple sky and hearing someone (Thrawn, he knows in retrospect) throwing up somewhere off to his left. He remembers thinking he was gonna start throwing up in sympathetic reaction. He doesn’t remember if he actually did.

He remembers the hiss of rain on hot metal. He remembers stumbling, grimly determined, towards the shade of trees, feeling like he was breathing water, with his hand held over Thrawn’s eyes. He remembers realizing what moisture and bacteria and scavengers do to dead bodies.

He’s pretty sure Thrawn bit him.

He’s pretty sure he tried to drown himself in a swamp just to get a break from the constant mental replay of bodies that no longer looked like people. His brain has helpfully blurred out a lot of the details, which he appreciates in the interests of remaining a functional person. Thrawn must have dragged him out of the swamp. Or the swamp was a metaphor the whole time, or a fantasy he created to self-soothe.

The first temporally plottable memory he has is watching Thrawn rinse blood out of his hair in the river and realizing:

“Oh hey. Your eyeliner game was really good, I definitely thought that was just. Your eyes.”

Thrawn had rolled said eyes so hard Ezra had started laughing and hadn’t been able to stop for a good five minutes.

Years later, when they’re no longer the only two sentients on the whole planet but long before they’ve made it to somewhere safe, Ezra will say “I’m amazed you didn’t just chuck me in the river right then and there.” “At the time it felt entirely appropriate,” Thrawn will say, flatly. “I tried to strangle a child with my bare hands in front of my own officers after choosing to bomb a civilian target even as I was fully aware my life was likely forfeit as soon as I returned to the capital. It was not, you might say, a high point in my career. To be mocked for my one venture into fashion while I was still actively concussed and alone felt just right.”

“I wasn’t a child,” Ezra says, and then nothing else because the rest of what he is thinking is exceedingly unkind, starting with ‘there’s no way that was your first time attacking civilians’ and going all the way to ‘tell me you were passively suicidal without telling me you were passively suicidal, if our positions were reversed I’d have gone for your throat long before we got to that point.’ Some people grew up with parents and a safe home and it shows.

[iszapizza]

padawan!maul au

[mayhemspreadingguy]

Anakin the weighted blanket

[cj-kenobi]

otter-wan says it's time for BIG yawn and commander cuddles

[aaeeart]

(commission info)

Fine. I'll do it myself.