I'll be Home for Christmas - an e.m. series
Part 2: Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want
Summary: Y/N pays a visit to the ghost of Christmas past, in the form of Eddie Munson
Cw: drinking, swearing, Nancy, Robin, and steve makes an appearance, the Hideout, the chaos in the days leading up to christmas, angst, reader takes a chance on herself, second chance romance, best friends to lovers, set in the future, latina!fem!reader
word count: 10.2K
AO3 | Spotify Playlist
a/n: not much to say other than this was a hastily written and edited chapter with way too much soul, (ps. this chapter is influenced by the Smiths songs of the same name)
Part 1
“What the hell man?” I angrily hiss at Alex and my brother who are nonchalantly taking items off the shelves of the baking aisle. I glance at the cart that is already filled with cinnamon, rice flour, brown sugar, limes, cilantro, jalapenos, and various sodas.
“What’d he say?” Alex smiles at me.
“What’d he say? What the hell Alex? You knew he was gonna call me, didn’t you? Was this his and your big plan, to drag me out to the Hideout?,” I frantically ask as he crosses an item off the list and pushes the cart forward, making me follow him.
“Seriously, is this a prank or something? Who else is in on it, huh? First my parents and siblings, now you. What’s next, everyone at grandma’s house?”
“Chill out,” he says while looking at the list.
“Look, it’s up to you if you want to come with us tonight. But, for the record, Eddie wanted me to ask you, but I refused. Told him, if you really want her to go, you’re gonna have to ask her yourself. Now, help me find the masa,” he commands, ignoring my tirade.
My feet are glued to the floor and my body is rigid.
“C’mon,” Alex says as he bends down to check the lower shelves.
I’m not usually this paranoid or irritable. In the courtroom, I am calm and collected, fierce and strong. With my friends, I’m stylish and sophisticated, friendly and sweet. With my family, I’m nothing if not batshit crazy.
I take a deep breath and scan the shelves for masa, the maize dough made of corn we use to make tamales, a savory dish consisting of masa filled with succulent meat and spicy chilis wrapped in a steamed corn husk.
I used to hate eating them every year, but now that I haven’t had them in so long, I’m actually kind of craving them.
I find the masa at the bottom most shelf and put a few bags in the cart.
“Look, we can talk about it more at the house, for now we gotta get everything on the list ‘cause it’s flying off the shelves,” Alex calmly says as he crosses another line on the list.
“Okay,” I huff, already embarrassed at the minor scene I just put on the display.
“You seriously need to relax,” Alex laughs at my state of disarray. “We need to make a stop at the liquor store anyway, so we’ll get a head start on the drinking when we get back.”
“Say no more,” I say exasperatedly. A shot of tequila is just what I need to take the edge off.
As we turn the corner to the next aisle, we almost T-bone my brother who has nothing but candy in his hands. He tosses in the candy canes, chocolates, and gummy candies.
“For the stockings,” he shrugs.
“Uh-huh sure they are,” I cock an eyebrow at him. Even though he’s just a sophomore in college, he’s always been a kid at heart. I guess that’s one of the many perks of being the youngest.
We continue to shop and run amok the busy grocery store, splitting up and coming together again with all the different food items and paper products on the list.
Once everything on the list has been found and we exit the store, my brother insists on racing Alex to the car. Meanwhile, I have to push the heavy ass shopping cart, but it was all worth it to see him slip on some leftover snow. Most of the roads have cleared up, but that didn’t save my brother from tripping and falling flat on his face.
“Fuck,” my brother screams loudly, garnering the attention of a few bystanders. Some gasp in shock while Alex and I burst out laughing. From a few cars away, I see Alex help him up. My brother nods to something Alex said and smiles.
By the time I reach them, I ask if he’s okay to which he says yes. Alex and I tease him the entire way to the car and even while we load the groceries into the back.
“Shut up, it wasn’t that funny,” my brother playfully scolds.
“You should’ve seen yourself. You slipped and fell like a Looney Tunes character or something.”
We laugh about it in the car some more as we head over to the liquor store.
“Close your eyes, it’s illegal for you to be here,” I tease as I wrap one arm around my brother's shoulders and place the other hand over his eyes.
He shakes my hands away and rolls his eyes. “Relax, I literally turn 21 in four months.”
“Bet that doesn’t stop you from having fun at the University of Michigan,” Alex teases. “Rumor has it you almost died getting your stomach pumped your first semester.”
My brother's skin turns white and his eyes widen. He shivers at the memory and shakes his head. “We don’t talk about that day. I almost never wanted to drink again”
Alex and I laugh as we grab a cart and fill it with the obligatory tequila and beer.
Once all of the errands have been run, we return to my grandma’s house. The men in the living room are shouting at the football game and the women in the kitchen are gossiping over the stove.
The sight of peak gender roles would normally spark a rage in me, but right now, it’s more comforting than anything. Home for the holidays as I’ve always known it.
Just as long as they don’t make me do anything in the kitchen though, then we’ll be good.
As we transfer the groceries to the dining room table, the ladies in the kitchen start unpacking them. I run over to the living room to chastise the men into helping too. Solving the centuries long conundrum of machismo a little bit at a time.
They come help unpack the groceries and get the bright idea to start pouring the tequila shots. It’s only 2:00 but we’re on holiday time now.
Multiple arms are flying across the kitchen to simultaneously put food away and distribute tequila shot ingredients.
Alex passes me the salt shaker first. I lick my hand and pour salt over it and pass it to the next person. Someone else hands me a lime and then a shot glass filled with the clear liquid.
I look at some of my younger cousins around us who have plastic cups filled with juice to join the festivities.
We all quiet down so my mom can give a small toast. She repeats it again but in Spanish and then we all raise our shot glass and shout “Salud”, the Spanish word for cheers.
I lick the salt off my hand, take the shot and instantly scrunch my face. I bring the quartered lime to my lips and suck, chasing the bitter flavor.
“All these years and you still can’t take a shot like a champ,” Alex whispers.
“Fuck you,” I hiss and smile. I weasel my way into the kitchen and sneak a bunuelo, a sweet dessert consisting of a flat piece of dough fried crispy golden brown and topped with cinnamon and sugar.
The house starts to feel hot with so many people and the kitchen appliances I’m sure have been running nonstop all morning, so I go outside to the backyard for some fresh air. Alex follows me and I’m instantly reminded of our conversation in the grocery store earlier. For a second, I actually forgot about it.
We sit down on the patio furniture by my grandmother's garden and clothesline.
“So what’s the deal with you and Eddie,” Alex asks as he takes a bite out of his own bunuelo that he managed to sneak out. They’re making so many, I doubt they noticed a few were gone. I frown at the sugar crystals that fall onto his jacket.
“What’s the deal with me and Eddie? What’s the deal with you and Eddie?”
“I asked you first,” he says nonchalantly before taking another bite.
I shake my head and shrug, “What do you wanna know? I mean, it sounds like Eddie’s already told you a lot.”
“Yeah, but I wanna know your side of the story.”
I press my lips together and without thinking, sigh in relief. No one’s ever asked me that before.
“What’s to tell? I mean, he was just some guy I dated in high school,” I say, but the words feel bitter and false as they leave my tongue, making me scrunch my face like I had when I took the tequila shot earlier.
“Doesn’t sound that way. Doesn’t look like it either,” he replies, jutting his chin out at me. I look down and realize my shoulders are hunched over and my arms and legs are tightly crossed. I subconsciously uncross them.
I shrug. “It’s… complicated.”
“That’s fine. I can handle complicated,” he calmly states with a small encouraging smile.
I take a deep breath and look down at my lap. I reluctantly take a bit of my bunuelo and let the sweet fragrant cinnamon sugar disseminate on my tastebuds.
“I, uh, I have a lot of history with Eddie.”
“Alright, so where does the story begin?”
“Um, high school. Sophomore year. We were in the same health class. In all honesty, that’s probably the only way I could have ever met him, you know. A state mandated class everyone had to take,” I laugh nervously.
“But um, I got to class first, and he got there late and the only place to sit was in the seat next to mine. And… you know the first thing he said to me?
He arrived right as the teacher started talking. And after a few minutes she had us start some bullshit assignment, as they always do, and Eddie whispered, ‘Hey, can I borrow a pencil?’ and so I’m thinking, ugh, here's some loser who’s late to class and doesn’t even have a pencil. But whatever, I’ll lend him a pencil and be done with him.
So I reach into my backpack and pull out a spare pencil. I say sure and am about to offer it to him when I look up at him. It’s the first time I ever really looked at him. A real square in the eyes kind of look, and my stomach dropped. I had no idea why.
Here was this weird kid with buzzed hair who was suddenly making me nervous. I instantly hated him for it. So just as he’s about to grab it, I pull my hand back and say, ‘Only if you can give me a good reason why you should’.
And then he said, ‘Oh sweetheart, I can give you plenty.’
So I said, ‘Okay, let’s hear ‘em.’
Then he asked, ‘Do you smoke?’
To which I replied ‘No’
So he goes, ‘Well, I can get you a good discount on… wait, you don’t smoke?’
So of course I had to tell him ‘No, it’s not really my thing’
And then he started struggling to come up with something to offer me in return. He ended up digging through his very empty backpack searching for something. And you know what he ended up bartering for my stupid pencil? His most prized possession: Black Sabbath’s Paranoid album on cassette.
He had brought it to show off to his friends or something, but insisted it was the only thing of value he had on him.
At the time, I didn’t listen to anything like that so I basically told him I didn’t want it. But then he reversed the trade on me and said he’ll loan me the tape. He said I had to listen to it all the way through and if I still didn’t like it, then I could give it back to him and he’d come up with something better tomorrow, but if not, I could keep it.
In the moment, it felt stupid, but fifteen year old me decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. So later that night, I listened to the album all the way through, just like he said. I’d never heard anything like it. It was the first time I’d ever fallen in love. Eddie was the one that made me fall in love with music.”
“Eddie never told me that story,” Alex laughs and I smile at the memory.
“Yeah, Eddie kind of snuck into my life that way. We got really close that year and practically inseparable the year after. By the time senior year rolled around, we’d both fallen head over heels for each other.
But, you know my parents. I mean, now, it’s all ‘when are we having grandkids’, but back then it was, no dating, no boys that are friends, and practically breathing around a boy was barely allowed. And being the oldest, they were always the strictest on me.”
“But you still dated him?”
“Yeah,” I smile, “His Uncle Wayne was cool with it, so it was really just my parents we had to worry about. Anytime we hung out I always said I was with a girl friend.
We got away with it pretty easily when we were just friends, but once we started dating, we were going out more often, staying out longer, and getting home later.
We had a few close calls in the beginning, but like most teenagers in love, we thought we were invincible. After a while, the close calls started becoming more frequent till one day, we finally got caught.”
“So what happened?”
I gulp and look down at my lap. It was easy to talk about the good stuff. To look back on the fond memories I had of Eddie. What my cousin is asking of me, I’d rather not relive.
“My parents were so mad. I almost thought they were going to have a heart attack. They wanted to kick me out of the house. They wanted to call the cops on Eddie. Ironically enough, there were plenty of reasons for the neighbors to call the cops on us. Domestic disturbance and all, but no one ever did.
But anyway, my parents wanted nothing to do with me.
Their perfect daughter became the perfect disappointment. And as much as I hate to say it, if it weren’t for my siblings, I don’t know where I’d be. They were the ones to calm my parents down and convince them to let me stay.”
“Man, that’s fucked up.”
I shrug, “Yeah, I… It was hard. But it made things easier for my siblings, in terms of dating, so at least something sort of good came of it.”
Alex and nods and contemplates my words. I start feeling nervous about all that I’ve just shared, so I change the subject on him.
“So how did you and Eddie become friends?”
Alex goes on to tell me how him and Eddie were the new guys at the garage for a while. And since they were the youngest, they naturally had more in common than with any of their other coworkers.
They would go to car shows around the state, check out local bands, and go to bars together. Since Alex was new to Hawkins, Eddie introduced him to his friends and became part of their friend group.
“If you come tonight, you can meet them all. They went to Hawkins High too.”
I consider his offer. I consider it for the next couple of hours as we talk about Eddie between holiday family duties.
It’s like I can’t help myself. I want to know everything. I didn’t realize how much I felt like I missed out on his life and I want so desperately to catch up, even if I don’t have any intentions of still being a part of it. The curiosity gets the better of me.
And somehow, explaining all of it to him is like breathing air. I didn’t realize how understanding he would be or how easy it would be to talk to him about it all.
I almost felt bad for taking up all the time just talking about myself and my past relationship with a boy, or maybe a man now, that I hardly even know anymore. But he never made me feel guilty about anything I had to share.
And in an odd way, Eddie has become the bridge between us. Even though I wasn’t particularly close with Alex growing up, I’m surprised to learn just how much more we have in common now than we ever did as kids.
“Yeah, I mean you guys are both good kids. I’m sure whatever’s going on, you’ll find a way to deal with it.”
For the remainder of the day, I end up hanging out in the living room or running off to help in the kitchen. At different points in the day, other family members show up. We switch between playing card games, sharing family gossip, and commenting on whatever’s on tv.
Somehow, it ends up being some of the most fun I’ve ever had in my life. I didn’t realize how smart or interesting or funny my family is.
Have they always been like this? In brief moments through it all, I feel a tinge of guilt for constantly looking down on them, on this town. Maybe it’s not so bad here after all.
It’s not so bad when you have good times, for a change.
Around 7:00 the tamales are ready and we start eating dinner.
My siblings, Alex, and I get stuck at the kids table, as per usual. My siblings discuss their plans for the night and Alex explains my tentative acceptance to his offer.
“Just go Y/N, you know you want to.”
Of course I want to. I want to see Eddie, but does he even want to see me? After everything that happened?
“You’ll regret it if you don’t go,” my sister says and I know she's right, but somehow it still feels wrong.
“Let’s just go. I promise, if you want to leave at any moment for any reason, I’ll take you back home. No questions asked,” Alex offers.
My siblings look at me expectantly. I avoid their gaze by looking down as my plate and messing with the empty corn husks.
“Fine,” I grumble. My siblings and Alex cheer aloud, catching the attention of the adults in the next room.
As the clock ticks closer to 9:00, I attempt to nonchalantly let my mom know that I’m going out with Alex and a few of his friends. I pray to God she doesn’t know that Eddie is one of them.
She smiles at me endearingly and tells me that she’s glad I’m going out, that she wants me to have fun.
I feel a sharp pang in my chest at these words because she’s never wanted me to have fun. Why now?
Alex and I walk out the door and into the cold crisp night. We pile into his truck and head out to the bar. He tries to give me a pep talk on the way there, but I’m too distracted, wondering what’s going to happen next.
What will he look like? On the phone, he still sounded the same. Will he be excited to see me? Will I be excited to see him? What will his friends be like? Do they know about me?
We get to the Hideout and make a beeline toward the bar. The place is just like Eddie said. It’s filled with bright colorful lights, tinsel and ornaments galore, and booming with loud Christmas music. The stage is set up with amps and equipment, but no one’s there.
Turns out none of Eddie’s friends are here yet either. Alex and I order our drinks and talk. My cranberry Christmas cocktail isn’t half bad. I keep taking nervous sips to avoid having to say anything and am soon on my second drink.
Slowly, the churning in my stomach goes away as I consume more of the drink. But I can’t help looking at the main entrance and eyeing other patrons.
“Relax, he’s gonna show up.”
I swallow the tiny remainder of saliva and pride down my throat. God, I’m a grown ass woman, why am I feeling like a nervous sixteen year old?
And then I see Alex smile and nod at someone behind me. Oh no. It’s time.
“Steve! Nancy! Over here,” Alex waves.
I look over and see a young man and woman sauntering over to us. I sigh in relief.
Alex greets them and introduces them to me. We make small talk as some of the band members enter the stage.
A woman with cropped blonde hair, in a bob that reaches her chin sits at the drumset. She pulls out drumsticks and tests the instruments.
“Oh, look, it's Robin! Robin!,” Nancy exclaims loudly and waves over to the blonde girl. The girl makes eye contact with Nancy and smiles.
A tall man with dark brown skin and a flat top haircut enters the stage and sets up his guitar. Another man, who is noticeably shorter but with much longer hair joins in and tunes his bass guitar.
Where’s Eddie?
The nervous churning in my stomach starts ramping up as the clock keeps ticking and Eddie is nowhere to be found. For a second, I think I can distract myself with the chit chat from Alex and his friends, but I know nothing about them so it’s all hard to follow.
“I have to go to the bathroom,” I declare. Alex is the only one that acknowledges me. He raises an eyebrow at me and I nervously smile before turning on my heel and making a beeline for the restroom.
Just like any other dingey bar bathroom, there’s pictures and posters and crayon markings? The walls are plastered with them.
I stand in front of the sink and grab ahold of it. I look at my reflection for a moment before closing my eyes and breathing in deeply.
What if I just left? What if I just got out of here and never had to–
“Ladies and Gentlemen, The Hideout presents a Hawkins favorite, the new and improved, Corroded Coffin!” A voice announces from outside the bathroom walls.
The crowd cheers and a charismatic voice announces into the mic, “What’s up Hawkins, how we doing tonight?”
The crowd goes wild. Oh God.
“We’re gonna get this Christmas party started, but with a little twist,” the same voice adds.
There’s muffled noise before the sound of live instruments disseminates through the building.
Here goes.
I slowly make my way out of the bathroom and weave through the crowd, making it my mission to find my cousin and his friends who are leaning against the bar.
“There you are! Almost thought you got stuck on the toilet or something,” Alex yells into my ear. I shove him lightly and smile.
And then I turn my head forward and see him. It’s Eddie. My Eddie.
He’s wearing ripped black jeans with their signature chain and a black sleeveless shirt. It must be to show off all his new tattoos because otherwise only an insane person would wear something like that in the cold.
But they really do draw the eye. His pale arms are now covered in tattoos. Practically full sleeves.
I let my eyes travel upward and land on his hair. His beautiful, beautiful hair. It’s still long and shaggy, but not the wannabe Kirk Hammett way I last remembered. It’s sort of like a poofy mullet in an Uncle Jesse from Full House kind of way. It’s undeniably hot.
My eyes settle on his face. He has earrings now and a lip ring too.
I look into those familiar brown eyes, which are staring right back into mine. He sees me and he smiles. I nervously smile back and shyly wave.
He closes his eyes and pulls the mic closer to his lips. You would’ve thought that microphone was a person and he was going in for a kiss the way he does it so seductively. It makes my heart feel
Eddie Munson, once a weird boy with a buzzcut, is now a confident man who’s an absolute rock god.
It makes something stir in my heart. I love seeing him like this. It’s just like I always imagined. But it also brings in this deep wave of regret. It makes me realize how much I missed all these years being away.
I wish I could take it all back. I wish I could turn back time. Maybe things would’ve been different.
I’m so lost in thought that the audience applauding when the song ends is the only thing to snap me out of it. I clap, but I have no idea what song they just played or how any of it sounded. All I noticed was Eddie.
“Looks like we have a special guest in the crowd tonight,” Eddie exclaims into the mike and I can feel the blood drain from my face.
“This next song is dedicated to her,” He says as he smirks at me. I can feel my cousin look at me, but I can’t take my eyes off Eddie. The way his fingers wrap around the fret of the guitar. Or the way his strong arms hold the precious instrument.
And then he starts strumming, and I instantly recognize the melody. The other guitar player and bass player join in and the girl on drums starts adding to the beat.
“Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away,” Eddie closes his eyes and wails into the mic.
“This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special,” he sings as he opens his eyes and winks at me.
If it weren’t for the darkness of the bar, I’m sure everyone would be able to see the raging blush on my cheeks.
“Once bitten and twice shy, I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye. Tell me baby, do you recognize me? Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me,” he sings.
His voice is just as beautiful as I remembered. It takes me back to the nights he’d sing me Black Sabbath in the back of his van, or hum Metallica at his uncle’s trailer.
“Happy Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it, with a note saying "I love you", I meant it. Now I know what a fool I've been, but if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again,” his lips purse before the head of the microphone.
Between each verse and chorus, the members of the band absolutely shred, perfectly turning what originated as a perfectly pop song into a heady, sentimental, rock song.
The band plays the rest of the song, and as they finish, I end up being the loudest one in the room, clapping and cheering them on. Eddie blushes and smiles at me. I even accidentally look at the guy on bass, who looks back at me a little too devilishly for my liking.
It ends up making me drop the smile from my face and subconsciously scoot closer to Alex.
Corroded Coffin play a few more songs, mostly metal sounding renditions of popular Christmas songs, before Eddie closes out the set and the audience cheers for them all.
I wolf whistle, earning his attention and he smiles and shakes his head. The band gathers their instruments and slowly get off the stage.
“That was incredible! After all these years, Eddie still has it,” I smile sheepishly at Alex.
“They were so good! Robin was the perfect addition to Corroded Coffin,” Nancy squeals and pats Steve’s chest.
“I kept telling her. Eddie said they needed a new drummer when Gareth left for college and she was the only other musical genius I knew,” Steve says.
“Did she even play percussion in band?” Nancy asks.
“Nah, but it didn’t even take her that long to learn. According to her, learning another instrument is like learning another language. Whatever that means,” Steve shrugs.
I smile and laugh at his statement when the strong scent of cigarette smoke and cologne fills my nose. I turn my head to the source and find the bass player standing right in front of me.
“Hey there,” he gruffly says with a smile, displaying lines around his mouth.
“Hi,” I reply questioningly, looking around to make sure he’s actually talking to me and not someone nearby.
“I saw you out in the crowd earlier. A pretty thing like you is hard to ignore,” He smiles and leans forward, making me lean back.
I nervously laugh, not knowing what to say back.
“Is this your first time here? I swear, I’d remember if a girl like you ever came around.”
“Um,” I look over at Alex, Steve, and Nancy who are too engrossed in conversation with the tall boy on guitar and the drummer who I guess must be a Robin, a mutual friend of all of theirs that I've never even met.
“It’s been a while,” I nervously reply.
“What brings you to our neck of the woods?” He asks, outstretching his arm and holding onto the part of the bar that’s a little too close to my arm for my liking.
“Uh,” I look over at Alex who has finally noticed my plea for help.
“Watch out Simmons. That’s my cousin you’re hitting on,” Alex says as he greets the strange man. They do that handshake to hug thing guys always do.
“Alex buddy, c’mon, why didn’t you tell me you had such a hot cousin,” the man asks as he moves his hands outward.
“Because hot and cousin should never be in the same sentence,” Alex jokingly punches him in the arm.
I laugh nervously and scan the room, but he’s nowhere to be found. The stage is clear and all his bandmates are here. C’mon Eddie, where are you?
“Tell me baby, what are you drinking,” the creepy bass player asks me.
“Um,” I look from him to Alex and back to my empty glass on the bar.
“Hey bartender,” Bass Boy barks to the older man behind the bar. “Give the lady whatever she likes, on me.”
“Oh, no, that’s really not nec–”
“Y/N?”
I turn over my shoulder, in the direction of the voice that called my name. There’s a sea of people, but only one Eddie Munson trying to weave his way through them.
“Eddie?”
And then without thinking, my body lurches forward and once he’s in arms reach, I wrap my arms around him. His body is warm against mine. I’m surprised to feel more muscles under my fingertips, but he still smells just like cigarettes and Irish Spring soap.
He hugs me back just as tightly. I fit in his arms perfectly, and for a moment, the world stops. The earth stops spinning on its axis. At this moment, it’s just us. No one else. Just me and Eddie, like no time has passed at all.
It feels so good. It feels so right to be back in his arms like this.
But then, the moment ends and he’s the first one to pull away, but only enough to still hold me at an arm's length distance.
“It’s you, I can’t believe it’s you,” he exclaims with wild eyes.
“I know! I can’t believe it’s you either,” I reply, still holding onto him too, like an anchor. As if letting go of his arms could mean letting him go metaphorically too. Can’t have that happen again.
“Munson,” someone whistles. We both turn to look at Bass Boy, Alex, and the rest of the gang gawking at us.
Eddie brings an arm around my mid back and ushers me over to the group.
“Great set by the way,” I whisper to him as we make our way over.
“You liked it?” Eddie smiles.
I nod and smile sheepishly, “Yeah, of course I did. You played our song. I loved it.”
“Good. I was worried it was either gonna be really cool or really corny,” he says and I laugh as we reach the group.
“Hey man,” Bass Boy says to Eddie, smiling, but the rest of his face is scrunched in anger.
“Hey Jim, this is Y/N,” Eddie introduces me.
“Yeah, looks like we got a head start on the introductions Eddie,” I smile at him and wink at Jim, the creepy bass player.
Jim nervously laughs and shakes his head, “So, uh, remind me how you two know each other?”
Eddie and I look at each other and smile which turns into giggling.
“We, uh, we go way back,” Eddie smiles at me and nods before looking back at Jim.
I shyly look at Jim and decide it’s only right to bust his balls a little bit more.
“Hey Jim, can I still take you up on that free drink?” I ask in a sweet innocent voice.
“Um…” Jim looks nervously from me to Eddie. I look over to Eddie and he’s rolling his eyes, turning into a fit of laughter.
“C’mon man, you really offered to buy my girl a drink,” Eddie teases him.
“I didn’t know she was your girl man,” Jim huffs and crosses his arms.
Now, technically, I’m not Eddie’s girl, at least not in the way one might assume from hearing that phrase, but god does it sound so good to hear them all calling me Eddie’s girl.
“But he did learn I was Alex’s hot cousin. Didn’t you Jim,” I smirk at him and wink. Eddie bursts out laughing. He leans into me and I wrap my arm around his back to help prop him up.
“Hot cousin. Oh god Jim, c’mon man. The least you can do is buy her the drink, for her troubles,” Eddie laughs.
I bat my eyelashes at Jim and smile innocently. “Pretty please?”
“Whatever,” he grumbles. I order my drink and Jim actually sticks to his word and pays for the drink. When he leaves, I take a sip and ask Eddie if he wants one too.
“Hell yeah! Free drinks always taste better.”
I laugh and smile at him. He hasn’t changed a bit.
“I can’t believe how long it’s been. I mean, just look at your hair? Don’t get me wrong, I love it, but it’s just so different from the last time I saw you. What happened to looking like a wanna be Kirk Hammett?”
“How dare you suggest I’m not still a wanna be Kirk Hammet?”
I take him in and he looks broader, stronger. Eddie’s never been the type to work out, but maybe after fixing cars all day, it’s had an effect on his body.
And even in the way he smiles, there’s almost a glow to his features that I haven’t seen in a really long time. I’m glad it’s still there.
I laugh, before telling him in an earnest way, “You look good Munson.”
He returns the same look and says, “You look good too, sweetheart.”
The moment lasts for so long before he clears his throat.
“I hope you don’t mind, but uh, I brought some friends with me,” Eddie says as he ushers me closer to the group.
Eddie moves aside and the girl on drums smiles at us.
“Hi, I’m Robin,” She greets cheerfully.
“I’m Y/N, it’s nice to meet you,” I nervously smile.
“Oh, so this is the legendary Y/N we’ve heard so much about,” Robin comments and I can feel myself turn ghost white.
“You probably don’t recognize me or Steve or Nancy for that matter, but we all went to Hawkins High too.”
“Class of ‘85,” Steve smiles.
“‘86,” Nancy, Robin, and Eddie say in unison.
“You’re right,” I laugh, “You were all juniors and sophomores when I graduated in ‘84. Although I think I remember Steve. Even though he was a grade below us when I met Eddie, I distinctly remember hearing about some kid with the hair all the girls in the grade below us would fawn over.”
“Guilty as charged,” Steve blushes as Nancy brings a hand up and musses with it.
We smile and laugh as Steve cringes out of her touch and moves his hands up to fix his hair.
“Well, I say we propose a toast,” Eddie says and I look at him in confusion.
“You don’t even have a drink Eddie.”
“I’ll just share yours,” he shrugs as if that were the most obvious thing ever.
“Tonight we celebrate the homecoming of our New York superstars Y/N and Nancy, who have graced us with their presence this holiday season,” he says in that silly albeit formal voice he used to always use for D&D campaigns.
Nancy and I look at each other and in the same breath say, “You’re from New York too?”
“Yeah, I went to Sarah Lawrence and fell in love with the city! I’ve been doing internships at different publishing agencies across the city since, but my dream is to be a reporter for the New York Times.”
“No way! I actually have a friend that works at the Times. I could always put in a good word for you if you like.”
Nancy looks starstruck. “Oh my god, that would just be perfect. Are you a journalist too?”
“No, um, I’m a,” I nervously say and tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m a lawyer, actually. But, my roommate in undergrad was a journalism major. She’s the one who works at the Times. Now that we live in the same city again we try to get coffee once a month. Maybe you can join us sometime.”
“Yes! That would be a dream come true,” Nancy exclaims with a twinkle in her eye.
Robin and Steve look at each other and they make this offputting face. Like they hear us and comprehend the words we’re saying, but because they can’t relate in any way shape or form, they don’t really understand.
“So how long have you been living in the city,” Nancy asks, completely unaware of the look that just transpired between Steve and Robin.
“Um, for the past two years. After law school, I passed the bar and made the move to work at a law firm there.”
“Holy shit,” Nancy and Steve say in unison.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Eddie looking at me in awe. The newfound spotlight put on me makes me want to run out of here.
“Shit,” Eddie claps a hand on my shoulder and I flinch from surprise.
“Finally put all that stubbornness and fierceness to good use huh? I heard you’d done it all, but goddamn, it’s something else to hear it from you. You really went out and did everything you said you would.”
I look at Eddie and see the amazement and pride in his eyes. For a moment, I feel like I’m too big, bigger than everyone else here. I want to make myself smaller.
But it’s only when Eddie looks at me, like he’s looking at a movie star or an angel sent from heaven, that it goes away. Like nothing else matters. Because if Eddie Munson is proud of me, then I must be doing something right.
“Guys, this girl right here was one tough cookie. She could talk her way out of practically anything. Forget bullies or hardass teachers. She was a fighter, that one.”
I look at him and I could cry. To hear myself be described in this way, is endearing but it’s not the whole truth. I was a fighter, but not in the moment it mattered most.
“Thanks, haha, but um, enough about me. How do you all know Eddie?”
“That’s a long story,” Steve chuckles as he runs a hand through his stupid hair.
“So I've heard,” I reply, slightly annoyed that none of his friends will explain to me how they know each other.
“Let’s just say we were all at completely different corners of the high school cafeteria who somehow managed to find each other,” Nancy adds. The four of them all smirk like they’re in on some inside joke. It infuriates me.
The rest of the evening, I try to fit in with their group but find myself feeling like an outsider looking in. Even my cousin has managed to seamlessly incorporate himself into their friend group. Which is good for him, but inconvenient for me.
All throughout the night, I find my eyes drawn to Eddie, like I’m some compass and he’s the goddamn North Star. I distract myself with sips of my drink and busying myself with getting a refill.
I scan the wood planked interior with neon signs and coca cola decorations scattered about. The scent of tobacco and haze of cigarette smoke fills the air. Patrons select songs on the jukebox, but a certain one won’t stop playing Don’t Stop Believin by Journey and it’s starting to make me hate the song.
“This old place hasn’t changed a bit,” Eddie comments to me while the rest of the gang are concentrated on a game of pool. Steve is waiting for his turn while Nancy strategically positions herself for her next move.
“No, not really,” I neutrally say. “They even have the same band that’s been playing since 1984.”
“Yeah, I heard they had to replace a few players though, just never sounded the same since.”
“You think so?”
“After Gareth and Jeff left for college, I tried to find a few replacement players, but no one wanted in. Corroded Coffin actually went on hiatus for a little while.”
“What? Oh Eddie,” I place a hand on his bicep. He looks down at my hand then up at my eyes.
“I can’t believe that happened. That really sucks. I know how much it meant to you.”
“It’s okay. I ended up finding some new people who really kick ass, so it was worth the wait.”
“Even if some of those players are super skeezy,” I look over at Jim who’s cornered some poor girl at the bar.
“Sorry about Jim. He just got out of a relationship so he’s been really… on the prowl lately.”
“He was so creepy Eddie.”
“Yeah, I’ll talk to him. He’s a beast at bass though. Got a lot of energy. Just doesn’t know how to channel it sometimes.”
I nod, understandingly. “So things are all good with the band now?”
“Yeah, they are now. Back at home base, just having a good time.”
“That’s good. I’m really happy for you Eddie.” I say, and I mean it.
“Thanks. You know I could never give up guitar though. Whether I’m playing alone or with a full band by my side, the day I stop playing is the day I die.”
I laugh at his theatrics.
“Seriously, I’ll never stop. Even after you left, I couldn’t stop playing those stupid songs by The Smiths you always liked.”
“Really?”
“Yeah,” he nervously fidgets with the rings on his fingers.
“I always liked hearing you play. Even when your uncle complained about the noise because he had to get some shut eye before his next shift.”
“God, I forgot about that. I was such a little shit back then.”
“Back then?”
Eddie laughs and I smile at him.
“How has Wayne been?”
Eddie’s eyes widen. “Oh yeah, Uncle Wayne’s doing alright. A lot better, now.”
“Now?”
“Yeah, the doctors found a hernia in him about a year or two ago.”
“What? Is he okay?”
“Yeah, yeah, he had to get surgery but he’s fine now. He’ll be retiring in a few years so that’s kinda been his saving grace.”
“Aw, that’s great. Your Uncle Wayne’s always been a good man.”
“Yeah, you’re not the only lady who thinks so.”
I wrinkle my nose, “What?”
“He’s got a girlfriend now.”
My eyes widen and I nearly spit out some of my drink, “Shut up!”
Eddie nods and chuckles.
“No fucking way!”
“Yup. They’ve been together since the hernia stuff happened.”
“Wow, way to go Uncle Wayne. How’d they meet?”
“She was one of his nurses.”
“Aww, that’s so sweet. Do you like her?”
“Yeah, she’s a good woman. I can tell she makes my uncle happy.”
“That’s good. I’m glad things really turned around, for the both of you.”
Eddie nods with a pained look on his face. Oh no, did I say the wrong thing?
“What about you, how’s the old parental unit?”
“Um, they’re doing alright. Been taking care of the restaurant while my siblings and I all go off and do our own things. Once my brother graduates, they’re looking to get an RV and travel the country or whatever. Typical middle-age shenanigans.”
“Nice,” he laughs. “You know, sometimes I still go out to the restaurant. Usually with Alex. He’s a pretty good buffer. After all this time, the food never dispapoints.”
My heart stops for a moment and I grab him by the arm. “You… You still go to my parents restaurant?”
“Yeah.”
“Do they… you know, see you?”
“Yes, they see me,” he laughs, “It’s kind of hard not to.”
I gulp. “Do they ever… say anything?”
“Nah. They’re cool. Eddie, the customer, they like. Eddie, the former love of their daughter's life, not so much.”
I tighten my grip on his arm to anchor myself. I think I might faint.
“How’re your siblings doing?”
To my luck, the change in subject subsides the bubbling wave of anxiety about to crash on me.
“Oh, they… They’re doing good. My brother’s still in undergrad and my sister’s in grad school.”
“Wow,” Eddie nods, but he looks at me like he understands, even though he can’t relate at all.
“What are they studying?”
“My brother’s doing business and my sister wants to do aerospace engineering. She got a little too obsessed with Top Gun if you know what I mean,” I snort and Eddie laughs.
“I swear, you three are every parents wet dream.”
I shrug, “Yeah, we are aren’t we?”
“It’s not a bad thing,” Eddie reassures me.
“Yeah, I know. It’s just… you know how my parents were. It wasn’t just me who got pressured into having a lucrative, stable job.”
Eddie reaches outward and grabs my hand, “Yeah, I know.”
I look at our intertwined limbs and frown. Accidentally admitting a shameful truth feels weird, but just like when we were kids, he’s the only one that’s ever understood how I felt.
“They’re proud as hell, you know. Got tons of pictures of you at the restaurant. Sort of looks like a shrine actually, with a candle and everything.”
I laugh and roll my eyes, “Ugh I know. I’ve been trying to tell them to take it down but they won’t listen.”
We laugh in unison, but when we stop and catch our breath, something overcomes me and I feel compelled to be a little too real with him.
“You know, sometimes I think they’re just relieved I got my degree and haven’t gotten pregnant. I think that’s all they really wanted from me. I don’t think they really cared what else I do.”
“What? I’m sure that’s not true.”
“Um, you’re right, it’s not true anymore. Now that I’m the same age my mom was when she had me, all she can talk about is how much she wants grandkids.”
“What?” Eddie snorts.
“Yes! She went from, sex is a forbidden act of the devil to an absolute necessity we will incessantly encourage you to have.”
Eddie chokes at my words. “That is… mental.”
“Yeah, I finally got to the point where I’m comfortable with sex, but kids, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that.”
Eddie blinks and lets go of my hand, “Yeah, um, I’m sure your boyfriend probably appreciates that.”
“My ex, um, yeah, I wasn’t afraid anymore with him, but that’s all in the past.”
“Oh,” Eddie replies. The clanking of pool balls catches our attention.
“What about you? I bet your, uh, girlfriend probably loves watching you perform live.”
“Yeah, uh, she did, before she dumped me and skipped town to Indianapolis.”
“What?”
“Yeah,” he shakes his head. “Like you said, it’s all in the past.”
And then he grabs my hand again and looks at me. I look back at him and without saying a word, his eyes tell me something.
They say to me: those relationships might be in the past, but ours doesn’t have to be.
“Hey uh, I know this might be kind of weird, but uh, do you maybe want to get out of here?” Eddie asks me.
I look over to Eddie’s friends and Alex who’s sitting at the bar with some girl.
I don’t know what to do. Instinctively my body screams yes, I want to be alone with you Eddie, but the angel on my shoulder says it would be wrong.
“Um, let me just check in with my cousin real quick.”
I make a beeline over to my cousin before Eddie can say something.
“Hi, sorry to interrupt, but Alex, uh, sidebar?”
“Side what?”
“I need to ask you something.”
The girl looks at me irritatedly. “Sorry, he’s my cousin, we’re here with mutual friends, this’ll take thirty seconds.”
“Make this quick Y/N,” Alex commands with raised eyebrows.
“Eddie asked me if I wanted to get out of here!”
“Ok then, what are you still doing here? Talking to me?”
“Because I’m…What? I can’t go!”
“Why not?”
“Because… because… it…”
“Do you not want to?”
“I-I… It’s not that I don’t want to…”
“Y/N it's a simple yes or no question, do you want to go with him?”
I inhale deeply, “Yes.”
“Okay, then, it's as simple as that.”
“No, it's not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“Because, because… what if my parents find out? What if I get in trouble again?”
“Y/N, you can’t be serious. This isn’t 1984. You have a masters degree and you’re still afraid of your parents?”
“Well… I also need to get home and be there for them and grandma and everyone.”
“Y/N, we literally spent all day with them, what more could they want from you? You’re an adult. You can do what you want. This is your life to live. You’ll literally be fine. Now c’mon, go home with Eddie,” Alex gently nudges me away.
“Everything okay,” Steve asks as I approach the table.
“Oh, um, yeah. I was just telling Alex that I’m ready to head out, but he’s gonna stay here for a bit longer, so I’m gonna head out with Eddie.”
I look over at Eddie and he smiles shyly
I nod, physically aware of several sets of eyes on me.
“Ok,” Eddie says as he sets his drink down and straightens his jacket. ‘Let’s get going then.”
I nod and move over to give everyone a hug goodbye. “It was really nice meeting you all. Nancy, ask Eddie for my number and give me a call when you’re in New York.”
Once Eddie has said goodbye to the girls, he gives a final goodbye to Steve. They do a weird handshake thing where it looks like Steve is passing something to Eddie, but I can’t quite see what it is. He pockets it quickly after, and I can only assume it’s a little bit of weed or something.
“You ready to go, sweetheart,” Eddie asks and if those exact words don’t make me feel seventeen again, I don’t know what will.
I nod and he places an arm around my waist and leads me out of the bar. The cold blast of night air hits us and I shiver. Eddie holds me tightly against his side. We walk over to his car in silence, only the sound of the pebbles and grass crunching beneath our feet to fill the air.
He leads me over to a small forest green sedan.
“Oh no! What happened to the van?”
“I had to say goodbye,” he says as he opens the door for me. “She finally gave out back in ‘89.”
“The end of an era,” I comment as he slides into the driver's seat.
He puts the key into the ignition and starts the car. He pushes around a few buttons and a warm and welcomed heat is released from the air vents.
A Metallica tape roars from the dash. Eddie lowers the volume and mutters a quick “sorry”. I guess some things never change.
He pulls out of the parking lot and turns onto the main road.
“Hey,” Eddie looks over at me, “Do you want to go touch the stars? For old times sake.”
My eyes light up and I grin. Going out to “touch the stars” was our code for going stargazing at Lovers Lake. Just the two of us, alone, away from all our problems.
“I’d love that.”
The drive there is silent, in a comforting way. Eddie knows these roads like the back of his hands. And being in the passenger seat like this, by Eddie’s side, even in a different car, feels familiar, in a surprisingly good way.
You can feel the passage of time in the new car and the new hairstyles and new clothes we wear, but otherwise, it feels just like it did in ‘84.
Eddie even takes us to the same spot we used to go to.
God, have I just gone through a time machine?
I look over at Eddie as he puts the gear in park. The light from the moon illuminates his features, skin more sturdy and with a few more creases than it did in ‘84, but just as beautiful.
We get out of the car and proceed to lay on the hood of his car. The warmth of the car welcomed in the cool of the night.
“It’s easier to climb on this thing than the van was, but it’s so much smaller! One wrong move and I’m gonna fall off.”
“Sorry we don’t all have fancy lawyer money to buy us fancy lawyer cars.”
“Well, this fancy lawyer doesn't need a fancy lawyer car in New York, but she does have quite a lot of fancy lawyer debt,” I retort.
“Debt?”
“Yeah man. I was lucky to have had enough scholarships to cover undergrad, but law school was all out of my own pocket.”
“Shit. You holding up okay?”
“Yeah, the fancy lawyer money’s been helping a lot. Even though living in the city costs quite the pretty penny.”
“How’re you liking it?”
“The city?”
“The city, the job, everything.”
I exhale, “I love it. It’s everything I hoped for and more.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by how different things are than what I was used to growing up. But in a good way, like, I can’t believe this all exists. I can’t believe how big this world is.”
Eddie turns his head over to look at me.
I look back up at the sky and see the most stars I’ve seen in years. It’s like glitter.
“But other times, when I’m in a room full of people, I feel sort of alone. Like even though I connect really well with my friends or coworkers, I don’t think they really understand me or the kind of life I came from.
I mean, by Hawkins standards my family is doing well, thanks to the restaurant, but Eddie, you should see these people.
I mean they grew up in big cities with things like lake houses and beach houses and fancy private schools and summer trips abroad and family members that are also lawyers or doctors or engineers.
Meanwhile I…I’m the first in my family to even go to grad school, let alone graduate from it. But it’s weird because even when I’m back here, I feel out of place. Like I’m too much for Hawkins, but not enough for New York.”
“You were never too much for me.” Eddie says in a low voice as he keeps looking up at the stars.
“Not then,” he turns to look at me, “And not now.”
I’m starting to blink rapidly. It’s one of those rare moments where someone says just the right words at just the right time. Like I couldn’t have asked for a more perfect moment.
I don’t really know what to say, so all I can think to do is reach out and grab his hand and intertwine our fingers. Even after all these years, I still feel just as safe and protected by Eddie. Like I could say my deepest darkest fears and he would still be by my side.
“Do you think you would ever move back to Hawkins?”
I sigh, “I don’t know. Never say never I guess, but I really don’t see myself coming back. Do you think you would ever move out to the city?”
“I tried the city thing for a bit after high school actually. I tried kicking it with Gareth in Indianapolis. But I had a lot of unresolved issues that got in the way of it so I had to come back. And now, I feel like I’m finally at a good place, a stable place. I’ve got a good job, steady paycheck, good friends, family, music. It’s more than I had as a kid, so I think I’m gonna keep riding this out for as long as I can.”
“That’s fair,” I muse, contemplating the ever-widening gap in our life choices and dreams.
I snort at the impending realization, “Wait, I almost forgot to ask, how’s the old side business coming along?”
“Actually, I uh, closed up shop a while ago?”
“What? You did?”
“Yeah.”
“What happened?”
“A bit of a drug bust,” Eddie chuckles.
I shift my torso to face him and look at him with concern, “Eddie.”
“With Wayne.”
“Oh… Wait, what?!”
“Yeah, turns out he knew the whole time. But it wasn’t until a particular deal I had at the trailer while he was home that he finally called me out on it.”
“Shit. What did he say to you?”
“He wasn’t even mad at me, he just said he was disappointed which was about a thousand times fucking worse for some reason.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah and it made me think about how you weren’t a big fan of it either. So I made a promise to myself that when I had the money and could land on my feet, I would stop. Sure enough, I gave it up after I started working at the mechanic shop and had enough money to move out.”
“Oh, Eddie. That’s-Wow.”
“I mean, I’m definitely not opposed to sharing the occasional joint with Robin and the gang, but otherwise I’ve been trying to distance myself from that whole thing. Helped me get through a lot of stuff when I was younger, but now, I kinda don’t need it as much anymore.”
“Wow, you’ve really mellowed out over the years,” I shove him teasingly and he chuckles. He rests his head against mine.
“I’m proud of you Eddie. And not just for walking a cleaner path, but for everything. For graduating, being there for your uncle, finding your own family, and–”
“Growing up?’ he asks, but it’s teasing.
“Yeah, in a way. Even though l liked immature Eddie, maturity really suits you too.”
“I’m proud of you too babe. Even though we were miles apart, I was always rooting for you.”
I turn over to face him, this time turning my entire body to face his. “You were?”
Eddie mirrors my movement and turns his whole body to face me. “Yeah, of course I was.”
I close my eyes and lean my head into his chest. “I think I want immature Eddie back.”
Eddie strokes my hair. “I know, but I wanted you to hear it. And deep down, I think you needed to hear it too.”
“Eddie, “I prop myself up on my elbows. “There’s something I think I need you to hear too.”
“Yeah,” he asks, propping himself up on his elbows too.
I inhale, breath shaky. I look at him, and the moonlight is bathing his pale skin so perfectly. He looks like a prince, like a beauty.
And then it hits me, in this moment, it’s everything I wanted. Everything I couldn’t have with Eddie as a teenager, I can finally have now. And I want it, more than I’ve ever wanted anything.
Please, please, please, let me get what I want. Lord knows it would be the first time.
“I’m sorry.”
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