#TEN PARTS...GOD. INSANITY AT ITS FINEST

[teatitty]

Sparbossa Brainrot Part 10: We Did It Lads

Wheeze we finally hit the real actual end of this relentless saga can you believe I actually committed this hard to everything what the fuck

Pintel and Ragetti: betray Jack Jack: keeps them around anyway

Gibbs: points a gun at Barbossa Barbossa: keeps him around anyway

I’m sensing a pattern I think

Rip to the rum I know Barbossa hid his wine so they would have no choice but to use this instead lol

Willzabeth trope is them making weird faces in the background. Anyway wouldn't it be funny if this was why Barbossa wanted Jack here so badly

The ritual: you have to speak as if to a lover Barbossa: does anything that isn't that

Even Calypso is just "This is the best you can do? I should've picked a different Lord”

His genuine shock that it didn't work what a way to find out you suck at romantic gestures no wonder you're divorced

You gotta appreciate that Barbossa just takes the L on this and wordlessly tells Ragetti to try it if he's so sure about how you do it and then Ragetti fucking does. Biggest asset on this crew to be fucking honest

Kind of an erotic reaction but it has been 200 years of blue balls so ya know what I'm just gonna let her have this moment

Barbossa doesn't show fear often so him jumping back in terror and clinging to his torch as a weapon speaks volumes on Calypso

THE CALYAVY AND SPARBOSSA PARALLELS OF BEING BETRAYED BY THE MAN YOU TRUSTED WITH YOUR EVERY SECRET, I AM BEING A CRUEL BITCH WITH THIS BUT WHAT IF JACK LOOKED JUST LIKE CALYPSO HERE WHEN HE WAS MUTINIED

She does keep her word and spare The Pearl and its crew, is the thing. If she really wanted to she could've easily sunk them at any point. Sure she roughs them up a little, but she's a God, it's in her nature to bend her own deals

Believing Calypso to have abandoned them all, Barbossa, in a rare moment, simply... gives up. He doesn't see how they could possibly win against the EIC without her

Which is of course the exact moment she proves him wrong and the winds change and he grabs his hat to hold it in place after watching someone else's get blown away lol. Priorities

Jack was the one to break it to Elizabeth that her father was dead and back then she responded in hysteric denial. So it's only fair, then, that here it is Barbossa's turn to have the pep talk and this time Elizabeth lets herself accept the words

Something Barbossa himself was not expecting. And this scene is why I held off on saying Elizabeth was no longer a pupil at the same time as Will

Because here she takes the helm - takes command - the way she has seen Barbossa do: First by cowering those around her with presence alone and then with a rallying speech to unite them all

Barbossa is the only one looking around him, taking in the effect she is having on the crew and it's this moment that has Elizabeth gain his full respect

THIS! THIS SPECIFICALLY IS WHEN SHE GOES FROM PUPIL TO PIRATE: BY PARROTING BARBOSSA'S OWN WORDS THAT HE SPOKE DURING THE BRETHREN MEETING AND CATCHING HIS EYES AS SHE DOES AND USING THOSE WORDS TO REIGNITE THEIR LAST HOPE

Barbossa is the only one not giving a war cry and raising his sword because he has too much dignity for that but he admires her rally all the same

No words be exchanged but his choosing to stand beside her as an equal is all that's needed

Gonna point to this post about my thoughts on Elizabeth acknowledging that Barbossa is the only one on-board capable of sailing this maelstrom

Beckett said the same thing about Jack and he had his own humorous response so I'm counting this as more parallels between Calyavy and Sparbossa

More of Barbossa's brand of insanity as he laughs during this whole battle

Jack's brand of insanity is being concerningly calm while the ship he's on is getting blown apart all while fetching his things and deciding if he should interrupt Murtogg and Mullroy or not and then just leaving casually with the wholeass chest

The post I linked a little earlier talked about Jack and Barbossa being two of the best sailors, with my Jack example being when he steered The Pearl one-handed. But here's proof that they are also two of the best fighters in the trilogy: Barbossa is a no-brainer but at this point it's kind of easy to forget Jack was on par with him in BP. Good thing AWE is here to remind you by having him hold off Jones one-handed while lugging a heavy ass chest in the other and keeping his balance on the sail

Elizabeth remembers when Jack told her that a Captain can perform a marriage on deck at any time! I'm not going to post the whole sequence we've all talked about it enough over the years we get it

In case you needed proper proof of my "one of the best fighters" point for Barbossa, here he is holding off multiple dutchman crew members while holding a wedding ceremony and protecting Cotton so he can keep The Pearl on course

Biggest Willzabeth supporters. Wonder if they would react the same if Sparbossa did this stuff lol

He's been fighting Jones by himself for at least ten mins so I don't wanna hear shit anymore about Barbossa being the better Pirate they're both equals that's the point

JACK CUTS OFF THE KEY BY USING THE SAME MOTION BARBOSSA DID TO CUT OFF HIS PIECE OF EIGHT

Looks into the camera. This is the same pistol Barbossa left him that he then used to shoot Hector in the heart and now he's using it to shoot at another heart. Digest that for a moment

We had Barbossa being scared of Calypso and now Jack being scared of Davy. Completing the set!

So many of us get hung up on Barbossa's cruelty and terrifying threats that we forget some of Jack's. So I'm just highlighting this bit for my own amusement

Jack sacrificing what may have been his one shot at immortality because he couldn't live with himself if he let Will die here, thus proving Willzabeth right that he is a good man first and foremost... yeah

Jack accidentally saved and returned the monkey but here is Hector once again only focusing on Jack and not at all sparing a glance to Elizabeth once they're on board!

Middle of a war and they're fucking bickering again these two just never fucking stop

Even Barbossa is shocked that Jack is choosing to engage in a fight when he could easily run away from it. Where Beckett thinks Jack is waiting in place because he believes Beckett will "honour their agreement" Barbossa knows that Jack is waiting on something and stands with him with nothing more than Jack's instincts to go on. That by itself speaks of an immense depth of trust between them, especially when they are surrounded by an armada and could well be the proverbial sitting ducks

If you followed my suggestion of taking a shot everytime they do a head turn in sync like this I think you'd just die

Shall we talk about how Barbossa had no clue The Dutchman was going to show up and be helmed by Will and so was fully prepared to die side by side with Jack and in but split moments supports Jack's orders completely without any questions after seeing what they have on their side?

Note how no words pass between him and Jack, yet Barbossa takes the helm while Jack gives the orders, a further insight into some pre-mutiny relationship for sure

Can we just appreciate that while all of this was happening, these two not only snuck onto the ship but got changed into full pirate gear, have no idea why everyone is cheering and successfully get away with it

No words necessary for this

Pintel and Ragetti are the only ones who notice that Murtogg and Mullroy weren't here before but they take an instant liking to them so they don't say shit. Instant brohood unlocked

You gotta love the consistent hat love in this trilogy

All giving their respect not only to Elizabeth but to Will, and without being ordered to they give her a boat so she can meet him on shore and the final act of respect between herself and Barbossa

We adore a good callback that is simultaneously an inside joke

You're not allowed to judge me for the dick jokes I made when this exists

So couple things here they're very short I promise: The first is that Jack and Barbossa had to sail together for however many days - possibly weeks - it took to get back to Tortuga together without maiming or killing eachother even once and the second point being that Barbossa left him a dinghy this time so he could sail after them. How sweet!

"Why is it gone?" he asks as if he didn't sail here with the man he's been bickering with for days over who is and isn't the Captain of said ship

They can still see it on the horizon which means it wasn't that long ago that Barbossa left with it and yet Gibbs is still passed out asleep on the docks. Me too man

I'm in fucking tears over this bro he loses his ship to Barbossa again and he gets so mad he just comes clean on everything

And the fucking coup de grace:

The longing look he gives to the horizon his beloved ship left on

Barbossa's fucking face at having similar lines to what he used on Jack to get a treasure's location all those years ago turned on him is beautiful

Clap it up for their 10D Chess game because truly what else can you do but laugh at these shenanigans. Hector isn't even surprised by this he literally just rolls his eyes in irritation. What this also means is that Jack did, absolutely, expect Hector to take The Pearl again he just optimistically believed that his ex would have the decency to wait a few days first

Bonus: Throughout the movie we've seen Jack, during his "crazy mental states," constantly eating the same peanut over and over again, and here you have. Well. I want to make a Daddy kink joke really bad basically

AND THAT’S IT, I’M DONE, IT’S FINISHED, WE NEVER HAVE TO THINK ABOUT MY SPECIAL INTEREST BRAIN EVER AGAIN, GOODBYE

[makeste]

BnHA 323: “I Don’t Know How to Explain to You That You Should Care About Other People”

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was all, “Izuku, I’m sorry.” Bakugou Stans were all, “[sobs for a week straight and tearfully awards him the Nobel Prize for character development].” Deku was all, “[faints in Kacchan’s arms].” Iida was all, “[trying to decide if Ochako genuinely tried to kill him a few minutes ago].” Horikoshi was all, “NO TIME FOR HUGS WE MUST GET BACK TO UA.” The civilians holed up at U.A. were all, “WE TOOK A VOTE AND DECIDED THAT WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE JERKS ABOUT THIS AND MAKE A BIG FUSS ABOUT YOU LETTING DEKU BACK INTO THE SCHOOL.” Deku was all “[stands there looking like he expected nothing less and breaking my heart more and more with each passing moment].” Ochako was all, “that does it, looks like I’m gonna have to do something about this... next chapter, that is.”

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal is all “I just want you all to know that I spent nine million dollars turning U.A. into a giant Battleship-style grid that can burrow underground and zoom around in a giant subway maze because Horikoshi lacks a grounded understanding of both civil engineering and economics.” Back in the present day, Jeanist is all, “EVERYONE TAKE HEED, MY COMRADES AND I HAVE DEEMED IT EXPEDIENT TO CONVEY THIS AUSPICIOUS YOUTH BACK TO THIS STRONGHOLD. WE ANTICIPATE THAT WE MAY DEPEND UPON YOUR GOODWILL AND ACQUIESCENCE TO THESE TERMS.” The civilians were all, “NO.” Ochako was all, “EMPATHY, MOTHERFUCKERS, DO YOU SPEAK IT?!” The civilians were all, “oh shit.” Anyway so Ochako is a giant badass, but I’m a little worried that she’s going to get struck by lightning. Please come down from there.

so before we start this chapter, I would just like to apologize for having not posted the ch 321 recap yet, and would like to reassure everyone, and especially Iida who is staring at me with Sad Wobbly Guilt Trip Eyes, that I will get to that as soon as I can

OMG FLASHBACK??

yes please Horikoshi please show us more of class 1-A and their Deku intervention strategy jam sessions

oh dear

Iida you are too pure and good for this cruel world. [sprays the U.A. civilians with a water bottle] NO. BAD CIVILIANS! NO OSTRACIZING SCARED AND EXHAUSTED CHILDREN IN THE HOUSE

EXCUSE ME RAT PRINCIPAL WHAT’S WITH THESE MIXED MESSAGES

???

RAT PRINCIPAL: he’s free to return to us at any time!!

ALSO RAT PRINCIPAL: but it’s too risky for him to return to us

?? ??????? ?????????????????????

so now he’s going on about how strong the U.A. Barrier is, and how it’s comparable to the defensive capabilities of Tartarus. this would have sounded a lot more impressive before chapter 297 lol

OH!!!! HELLO, WHAT’S THIS!!!

A TIMELY CALLBACK TO A CERTAIN MYSTERIOUS EVENT WHICH HASN’T BEEN REFERENCED SINCE USJ? [U.A. TRAITOR MUSIC INTENSIFIES]

so now Rat Principal says he upgraded U.A.’s security systems with his own “modifications”, whatever the fuck that means. I mean look, I’ve been saying for a long time now that U.A. is the best place for everyone to hole up, don’t get me wrong. but that was mostly on account of there not being any other practical alternatives. but you’re making it sound like you figured out a way to actually make it Decay-proof or some wild shit like that

-- hold up, DID YOU ADD A FORCE FIELD. DID YOU TRICK THIS SCHOOL OUT WAKANDA-STYLE YOU CRAZY MARSUPIAL. HOLY SHIT. because that would actually be perfect

LMAO

WHAT KIND OF GALAXY BRAIN BULLSHIT. “NAH THERE’S NO NEED FOR A FORCE FIELD, LET’S JUST PUT WHEELS ON IT”

oh okay so the whole campus is basically capable of burrowing itself underground. that’s insane lol I wonder how they pulled that off. probably got poor Cementoss working overtime

blah blah blah so basically the entire campus is split into a grid and each section of the grid is capable of its own independent movement. lol this is just the Merone Base from KHR. you thought no one would notice this casual plagiarism ten years after the fact, but YOU UNDERESTIMATED YOUR AUDIENCE, HORIKOSHI

“joke’s on you imma just lampshade it” WELL ALL RIGHT THEN

“look at me I’m so fucking self-aware” fucking swear to god. I can’t believe this man is my favorite mangaka of all time smdh

“excuse me, I wasn’t finished describing all the rest of this bullshit yet,” Rat Principal breaks in impatiently. “we also added a steel wall all around the underground of the campus that’s 3000 steel plates thick. that’s fifteen fucking meters of solid fucking steel just fyi. and if anyone fucks around with any part of it the defense system will activate immediately! and also all of the plates are independently motorized, whatever the fuck that means!! in conclusion you’re gonna need a fucking tower crane to suspend all of your disbelief by the time I’m through with this paragraph”

“also Shiketsu is almost as reinforced as U.A. but not quite because we still had to make sure we were better.” but of course. and apparently the two schools are connected via a secret tunnel as Hagakure mentioned earlier

LSDKFJLSDKJFLK

“WAIT WHAT” LMAO YOU HEARD HIM, NOW INASA CAN VISIT YOU BOTH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND TELL YOU ALL ABOUT THE WEIRD DREAM HE HAD. GOD BLESS YOU HORIKOSHI

(ETA: moment of appreciation for Shouto and Katsuki having the same thought at the same time and making Knowing Eye Contact and saying the exact same thing out loud in perfect unison like the best friends they are. what a blessed day.)

so Tokoyami is all “but wait if you engineered all this shit all the way back during the Band arc how did you even know that Tomura’s quirk awakening would become a thing, Horikoshi -- uh, I mean, Principal Nezu”

and Rat Principal is all “lol idk”

“basically I just woke up one morning and was all ‘say, you know what this school really needs? a fifteen-meter-thick underground steel wall, and the ability to break up into little pieces that individually zoom around wherever the fuck they want.’ jesus christ. lol if money and common sense were apparently no obstacle why didn’t you just teleport U.A. to the fucking moon or something. maybe I should shut up before I given him any ideas

dsfaelkjldkjgl

you heard it here first, folks, all of this cost a grand total of nine million U.S. dollars. well technically it cost “more than” nine million dollars. never has that distinction been more important lmao. are we sure this barrier was really made of steel and not cardboard? who the hell sold it to them, Ea-Nasir??

this is my favorite manga series of all time. yes I am ashamed

“in conclusion please do your best to reach Deku-kun” SO WHAT WAS ALL THAT NONSENSE ABOUT IT BEING TOO RISKY THEN. anyway thank you for this super informative and edifying flashback, Horikoshi. I will cherish it always. I don’t even want to read another translation of this absurdity lmao, there’s something special about it just the way it is. pretty sure Horikoshi just had a cracked out fever dream one night and transferred it to the pages of the manga verbatim

anyway so back to the unruly mob

not their finest moment. please excuse me while I cover poor Deku’s ears and give him a good shoosh pap

oh wow the parents are out here too

is Mitsuki trying to hold Inko back?? that’s the last thing this fandom needs right now is more Mitsuki discourse fffwlkjs. and even Jiroudad, scientifically proven to be the best dad in all of BnHA, is just standing there silently looking vaguely unhappy. way to rise to the moment you guys

MONOMA

so this settles it for me that Aizawa is not at UA. I know a lot of people have been wondering about his whereabouts, and if I had to wager a guess it would be that something happened with Shirakumo/Kurogiri. I can’t think of anything else -- even the loss of an eye and a limb -- that would keep him from his kids at a time like this

anyway but this is excellent Monoma content right here though. I love that he apparently adopted Eri after a single interaction with her. also WHERE IS SHINSOU DAMMIT. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW

and Kouta’s there too looking like he wants to run over to Deku but Ragdoll won’t let him :/

it’s gotta be pretty upsetting for him to see his hero like this and not having anyone stand up for him. [taps megaphone] IS THIS THING ON. OKAY YEAH IT SEEMS TO BE WORKING. AHEM. PAGING URARAKA OCHAKO. GONNA NEED YOU TO GET OVER HERE ALREADY AND MAKE THAT BIG DRAMATIC SPEECH WHICH YOU ARE CLEARLY DYING TO MAKE. IF YOU DON’T DO IT SOON I’M GONNA HAVE TO STEP IN, AND YOU REALLY DON’T WANT ME TO DO THAT SINCE MY SPEECH WILL NOT BE VERY GOOD OR INSPIRING, AND WILL PROBABLY JUST CONSIST OF “HELLO, YOU ARE ALL STUPID, PLEASE SHUT UP AND GO AWAY”

so now Mic is telling them to calm down. at least someone’s speaking up here, geez

OH MY GOD

MY MAN JEANIST OUT HERE DOING WHAT HE DOES BEST: MAKING EVERYONE FEEL GUILTY AND JUDGED

OH MY GOD HE IS GIVING SUCH A LONG AND BORING SPEECH LMAO IS YOUR STRATEGY TO PUT THEM ALL TO SLEEP OR WHAT

truly in awe of this man’s ability to take messages which could easily be conveyed in ELI5-speak, and stubbornly convert them into incomprehensible language the likes of which you need a graduate degree in order to understand

“hey guys, so originally our plan was to use Deku as bait for the villains, but that didn’t really work and also we realized it was kinda dumb and was probably gonna get him killed, so we brought him back here instead.” was that really so hard, Jeanist. also are we all really just gonna sit back here and watch Jeanist take full credit for Bakugou’s plan just like that lmao

(ETA:

WHERE DID ENDEAVOR GO AND WHO IS THIS DIABOLICAL MASTER OF DISGUISE. lol I genuinely didn’t notice this because I was too busy digging through thesauruses trying to rewrite Jeanist’s speech; many thanks to @class1akids​ for pointing it out and making my day immeasurably better. take it easy there Dick Tracy.)

“anyway so please stop being dicks and let him fucking rest so he can save all your ungrateful asses” what an impassioned and inspiring plea. time to see if the masses will listen to reason

narrator: they did not listen to reason

oh my god finally Ochako is doing something. YEAH OCHAKO WOOOO SHOW THEM HOW IT’S DONE

hmm

this entire chapter is truly and utterly nonsensical to me lol

(ETA: on my second readthrough I’m fucking dying at how she stole the megaphone right out of Mic’s hand lmao. and how Kacchan is all “fuck yeah nothing I appreciate more than some quality fucking larceny.”)

oh I see she was jumping on top of the main building so as to scream down at them all more impressively

“ANYWAY DEKU IS PRETTY COOL ACTUALLY, YOU GUYS ARE JUST MEAN” couldn’t have said it better myself Ochako

lol uh

gotta say I did not have “Ochako reveals the secret of OFA to the entire U.A. Citizen Clown Parade” on my bingo card for this week. it’s a bold strategy cotton let’s see if it pays off

SDLFKJSL

“NO, SERIOUSLY, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT HIM YOU GUYS. YOU THINK HE LIKES RUNNING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A RUSTED OIL DRUM?? HE DID THAT FOR YOU YOU UNGRATEFUL SLOBS”

so she is basically explaining the entire Deku Angst arc to them and explaining what a good and selfless protagonist Deku is, YES, PREACH

OMG IT’S THE GIGANTIC FOX LADY

not to insinuate anything, but what exactly were you doing standing out here with the hysterical mob, Gigantic Fox Lady? you’re better than that

-- KACCHAN SIGHTING!!

sdlkfjl. thanks for weighing in with that helpful and important observation. where have you been for the last five minutes. were you asleep. was it Jeanist’s speech

never mind, now he’s yelling at the civilians so I instantly forgive him

THE FUTURE NUMBER ONE HERO, EVERYONE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. HE’LL BE HERE ALL WEEK

“anyway so I’m just going to end the chapter here” lmao seventeen pages truly do go by so fast. at least he didn’t try to force in a cliffhanger at the end this time. dare I say, growth

so I guess the civilians are either gonna have a Kamino and/or Fukuoka-esque moment where they remember how to be decent people and apologize to this poor young man, or else they’ll remain unpersuaded, and so Kacchan will have to knock a few of their heads around until they become more inclined to be reasonable. either option is fine by me lol

[bangstanfics]

Ode to Safe Travels || JJK

☆ Pairing: Knight!Jungkook x Princess!Reader

☆ Word Count: 4.8k

☆ Rating: 17+

☆ Genre: Medieval au, royalty au, star crossed lovers, romance, angst, and more angst

☆ Warnings: Major character death, implications of smut

☆ Summary: It was a forbidden romance that was bound to end up in tragedy. You both knew that, and yet that didn’t stop you from falling hopelessly in love with your metaphorical and literal knight in shining armor, Jeon Jungkook. 

☆ A/N: My first ever fic, oh gawd I wasn’t sure when (or if) I was going to post this, but Valentines Day seemed like a good day. This short story is part of my “A Second Chance at Love” series (a series about lovers whose circumstances caused them to not end up together during their first life, but are given a second chance when they are reincarnated) and is the prequel to my main story “Chasing Stars.” Also, all the italicized writing is the present, and the regular text are flashbacks of the past. Yes! That was done with a purpose and no I won't directly say why (unless you figure it out owo). Enough of my blabbing, I hope you all enjoy!! :)

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ 

I’ll be with you, forever.

It was his promise to you as he sat in his barren cell, deprived of the basic necessities of life - food, water, human contact. The shackles around his arms denying him access to one last touch of your skin, to caress your cheek and brush away the tears that you couldn’t stop from falling. His big doe eyes that reflected stars now reflected your contorted expression, overtaken with grief. Despite his circumstances, he managed to smile and attempted to ease your fears with his words.

God, how you hated yourself in that moment. There he was, waiting for his moment to come on death’s vendetta, yet he was comforting you. You, the princess who spent her sheltered life behind the castle walls, ignorant to famen, war, and poverty. You, the princess who was always draped in the finest silks and gold and carried herself with too much pride. You, the princess who was always pampered by servants and knights alike, adored by the entire kingdom.

Finding solace in his words was a privilege you would not allow yourself to have in that moment.

“Would you like to have a different meal prepared, your Highness?” the voice of the servant cut through your heavy thoughts, pulling you back to the present. You glanced down at your untouched food before turning your attention back to the girl. She was new, you noted, and unaware of the fact that your lack of appetite had nothing to do with the food, and everything to do with the memories of him that constantly flooded your mind.

“No,” you answered after a moment of silence, “This will suffice.”

She waited, as if expecting more, but when you offered nothing of the sort she bowed her head respectfully and left the dining hall, leaving you alone to replay that fateful day over and over again.

He was right, though. Even after his passing, you saw and heard him everywhere you went. His hushed voice in the wind, calling your name. His shadow trailing your footsteps of abandoned corridors. His lingering scent in the sheets of your chambers. Even now, in this massive hall with the long table stretched out before you, you could feel the weight of his presence sitting in the empty chair across from you. The ghost of his smile barely visible to your eye and yet you can remember it so distinctly. However, rather than comfort, it only served as a bitter reminder of the future that was abruptly taken away from you.

You closed your eyes once again and allowed your consciousness to drift back to that day, resuming from the point where you hopelessly reached your hand through the bars in an attempt to seek refuge in the warmth of his arms. He did the same, extended his hand out towards you, but the chains that restrained him to the wall only allowed him to move a few feet. Your desperate attempts to reach each other proving futile against the cell bars.

“Please don’t leave me,” you pleaded through your sobs, “Please don’t leave me all alone. I can’t do this without you.”

His smile was weak, but reassuring, “My love,” his voice barely above a whisper, all the might and confidence you were so accustomed to hearing had disappeared, “Don’t say that. You are the strongest person I know. Hell, the strongest person in this nation. Do what you always do when you fall, jump back up and keep moving forward.” You shake your head, unable to speak through your broken sobs. You wanted to tell him he was wrong. The truth behind your unwavering nature was not an iron will, but the knowledge that if you fell, Jungkook would be right there to catch you and help you back up.

“Jungkook please,” you tried again, “Let me fix this.”

“But there is nothing to fix,” he tried to reason, “Our destiny had already been mapped out in the stars long ago. I know you do not believe in these myths and folklore, but sometimes there are moments in this lifetime that are meant to happen to allow others destinies to fully take course.”

This destiny he was so fixated on, meant nothing to you if he wasn’t there to take part in the journey with you. You wanted to tell him that, but the words stayed as a lump in your throat as you stared into his brown orbs. The unwavering determination was set ablaze in his eyes, as he sent you a silent message - he was doing this for you. In that moment, you were faced with a burden so great that the mere thought of it left the impression of the universe’s vast loneliness coursing through you.

You had to leave him.

Turn around and allow him to take part in fate’s cruel plans.

“I love you,” were the final words you had to offer, “I love you so damn much,” your cries growing louder with each passing declaration, knowing it will be your last.

“And I love you,” he projected what little strength he had into this confession, so they would never leave you, “Even after my time in this world has come to an end, my love for you will not end with it.”

You felt your hands tremble at your sides as the desire to embrace him one last time overwhelmed you. To brush your lips over his and murmur sweet nothings into his ears to reassure him that your heart was forever his and nothing, not even death, could break that bond. Your lover, your best friend, your world. He was it all and so much more.

With a heavy heart, you rose from your spot on the ground and left without a second glance. Too afraid that if you did, your resolution would break and you would run back to Jungkook’s cell. Instead, as you traveled down the dimly lit hall, you broke into uncontrollable sobs. The force of your whimpers reverberating through your chest, causing the halls to echo back your sorrows. Your hands found their way to your hair as you began rummaging through your locks, searching your head for an answer. A swarm of profanities whirled your mind as they attempted to escape through your mouth. You physically had to bite your tongue to prevent yourself from revealing your location to the castle guards. But the insanity of the situation was getting too much and with each passing second your hope continued to dwindle close to nothing. You frantically shook your head, forcing the negative thoughts away. Jungkook already had given up, so you knew you couldn’t do the same.

You were at a loss for breathe as you found yourself hyperventilating, knees succumbing to the reality of the situation. Was there really nothing you could do to save him? You clawed at your chest, desperate for air as your head sunk lower and lower, eyes meeting the concrete floors. Your vision was filled with nothing but the gray cracks and crevices, hoping to find a silver lining in any one of its imperfections. But there was nothing and when you realized this, you screamed. An ear curdling scream meant for the heavens, hoping they would hear your plea and allow Jungkook to live.

“Your Highness, are you alright?” a heavy breathe brought you down from the memory you were reliving and you realized you were no longer seated at the dining table. To your side, the familiar face of the Head maid with a look of concern etched onto her features. Of all people you had to encounter, you just had to encounter her - Mrs. Kim. The same woman who helped raise you and feed you when your parents were busy managing their kingdom. The same woman who kissed your wounds and was your shoulder to cry on. The same woman who gave birth to one of your closest friends, Kim Namjoon. The same woman who betrayed you.

“Don’t touch me!” you immediately recoiled from her touch, the momentum of your movements, bringing you down to the floor as a result.

“But Your Highness--” Mrs. Kim reached out to help you up, but you responded by scurrying further back, until your back hit the end of a wall.

“Don’t touch me! Don’t look at me! Don’t help me! Just get away!”

Mrs. Kim was visibly hurt by your words, you could tell by the way her eyes clouded with tears, but you couldn’t stop the words from spilling from your mouth. Afterall, she was the one who revealed your relationship with Jungkook to your parents.

“What if… we ran away together?” you whispered to Jungkook one night after love making. Your naked bodies intertwined between the silk sheets of your bed, as the soft rays of the moonlight peeking through your windows enhanced Jungkook’s features. His doe eyes seemed to sparkle more, his smile was bigger and brighter than you’ve ever seen it. Then again, you could attribute that to the fact he had an orgasm not even ten minutes ago, but still - he seemed different. A radiating glow. You wondered if you had one too.

“Where would we even go?” he decided to entertain the idea, although deep down he knew it was impossible. Your parents would spend whatever resources necessary to bring you back here to Reeva. Afterall, you were, not only the eldest, but the most qualified of your siblings to inherit the throne. Your younger sister, a carefree spirit who would rather spend her time exploring the city than learning how to write eloquent letters to convince an enemy kingdom to decrease their tariffs, did not have the knowledge or skill to be a bridge between the people and the law. Your younger brother, a fool most people would describe him, but you saw him as a man with no ambition. He was indifferent to the world and would rather spend his time exploring the beds of the young maidens in the castle. That left Reeva in your hands.

“Anywhere. Everywhere.” You finally decided as your answer, “The world has so much to offer us, Jungkook. Why stay in a place that forbids us to love each other just because I’m seen as heir to the throne and you’re seen as my protector.” Jungkook loved hearing you talk about your immense love for him. The way you would sacrifice everything for him. He had never known a love so deep and pure. Growing up as an orphan, he thought love was a concept that didn’t exist. People would abandon each other eventually, it was only a matter of time. Yet, with you, no matter how many times he failed or made himself look like a fool, you remained by his side and encouraged him to get back up. He reached out his hand and gently stroked your cheek, admiring the way you released a content sigh at the physical contact.

“A place where we could love each other freely…” he tested the idea with his tongue, saying it out loud for the first time. He had to admit, a swarm of butterflies invaded his chest at the mere thought of being able to hold your hand freely in public. Without any spectators giving him dirty looks, or covering their mouths to point out how you carried an air of grace, while he carried himself with the mannerism of a commoner.

“Mmhm… Doesn’t that sound nice?” you smiled sleepily, your previous activities with Jungkook draining you of most of your energy, but you still had enough power to lean forward and press your lips against his in a soft, sweet kiss. You could feel him smile against your lips before releasing a low hum of agreement.

The moment, like every beautiful moment in life, did not last.

The door to your chambers was forced open with a great kick. Startled, you and Jungkook pulled away from each other, as your first instinct was to cover yourself up with your linen. Guards came swarming into your space and surrounded the bed you shared with Jungkook. You couldn’t even process everything that was happening. The motion of the clustered bodies moving like a blur, until two distinct presence made themselves known. Your blood ran cold as you noticed the fire that ignited in your father’s eyes as he took in the scene before him - you and Jungkook in your bed together, naked and covered in love bites. He didn’t even give you time to explain yourself before he was marching over to Jungkook’s side and drawing the tip of his sword to your lover’s neck.

“Father wait--” you tried to reason with him, thinking he was about to drag the blade against Jungkook’s throat, but he proceeded with words rather than action, much to your surprise.

“You will be tried for high treason against the royal family. You will be stripped of your title as a member of the Battle Triumph Soldiers. And you will no longer be known as a knight of Reeva. Should you be found guilty of your crime, there is only one punishment fitting of such betrayal - death. Do you have any objections?”

You sucked in a deep breathe at the word “death” knowing well that the council (comprised of your father, mother, your father’s advisor Sir Lee and Commander Bang) would unanimously find Jungkook guilty. The hard stare your father sent Jungkook was meant to be intimidating, you could tell, but all you could see in his eyes was pity and despair. He was, after all, the one who took Jungkook under his wing and trained him to be the man he is today. Despite the tough front your father always portrayed, you always knew he had a soft spot for Jungkook. He was every inch of what the king wanted your brother to be, but could never achieve. But at that moment, he was casting all emotions aside and using his head to make every decision. The King couldn’t risk a scandal like this being exposed to the other kingdoms. They would seize it as an opportunity to cast doubt over his authority and possibly overthrow him. Jungkook was no longer a boy orphaned by war, he was a man who had to take responsibility for his actions.

“No, I have no objections.”

Wide eyed, you whipped your head to the man next to you and looked at him in disbelief. Was the post-orgasm high interfering with his brain? You sat up straighter, carrying an air of dignity that had been instilled into you since birth - you weren’t about to let these men make you feel ashamed for making love to the man you love -  and started to protest on his behalf, “On the contrary, he objects to every statement you just made!”

“You will hold your tongue until--” your mother began, but your father raised a hand to silence her.

You decided to use the opportunity to continue talking, “Father, I beg of you, hear me out. None of this was Jungkook’s fault. It was I who initiated this- this- this whole thing. He refused all of my advances, saying he knows his place, but I convinced him that his rightful place should be with me because I--” you paused, unsure if your words was making the situation better or worse for Jungkook, but you were desperate to cling onto anything that would resolve this mess, even if it meant revealing the truth, “Because I lo--”

“I’d hate to reveal my intentions in front of everyone like this, Princess, but I thought I should save you the embarrassment of your next words by speaking my truth.” All you could do was blink inquisitively at Jungkook, whose demeanor and attitude had suddenly transformed into one you had never seen before, “And that truth is… I used you. Well, used your body more specifically.” It was like choking on air as you listened to Jungkook’s confession. Nothing was holding your throat hostage, yet you were finding it difficult to breathe. Why are you doing this? You wanted to scream at him. Why are you lying so effortlessly in front of everyone? Why are you trying to take all the blame? “You made it so easy for me too. With the way you practically flung yourself at me every time we were alone. I almost felt bad stringing you along... Almost. Then again, sleeping with you did also pose some benefits seeing how I got to sleep in these luxurious chambers rather than my worn out closet space.”

Jungkook’s “confession” landed him a swift blow to his face, courtesy of your father who either believed his story or wanted to believe his story just so he could portray Jungkook to be the villain in this entire mess, “Father, stop!” Your first instinct was to jump in front of the dark haired boy and use your own body as a shield, but the guard closest to you captured your arm, preventing you from doing so. Your father took another swing at the knight and the momentum of his hit threw Jungkook to the floor with a loud thud. You watched in horror as the King pulled his leg back and swiftly landed a kick to what you presumed, judging from the suffocated groan, was Jungkook’s abdomen. “Enough!” you finally yell with a force so great, that even the guard gripping your arm was startled. With a ragged breath, and tears on the brink of escape, you yanked your arm from the guard and crawled to the other edge of the bed to where your father was standing, “Please, have mercy on him,” you begged, head hung low and hands clasped together as if you were praying to a saint. From the corner of your eye, you focused on Jungkook’s remorse expression and apologized mentally that you couldn’t do more for him. You couldn’t gauge your father’s reaction, but you knew he must have been furious seeing his heir to the throne on her knees, for a man who didn’t possess an ounce of royal blood. 

Your father cleared his throat, a sign for you to raise your head. His eyes lacked emotion so you couldn’t tell what he was thinking, “Guards, dress him and lock him up in the dungeons. I don’t want him in my sights for another second,” he finally commanded. Two men quickly found Jungkook’s discarded articles of clothing and dressed him before dragging him out of your room. Your eyes followed his body’s movement, even when he was out of sight, all you could do was stare helplessly at the door, “Leave us,” your father commanded the remaining guards, who quickly scurried away from his tone.

“How did you know?” you finally decided to ask after a moment of silence. Your eyes were still transfixed on the empty doorway, waiting for his answer, until a new figure came into view. She hung her head low in shame and her shoulders slouched forward to make herself seem as small as she felt at that moment.

“I have eyes all over the castle, my dear. As loyal as they are to you, they will always prioritize their loyalty to me, their King.” You couldn’t even process his words as an overwhelming sense of denial rushed through your system. Not her. Of all the people to betray you, please not her.

“Mrs. Kim?” you called out weakly, afraid that speaking her name out loud would confirm your fears. However, as soon as her name was called, she took the remaining steps to enter your room and make her presence known, “How- How could you?”

She bit her lip back in guilt, seemingly a loss for words to justify her actions. However, what came out next only made your hatred for the woman grow, “I’m so sorry. I have nothing else to say except that I’m so terribly sorry and that I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

A harsh tug on your shoulder brought you back to reality as you realized that Mrs. Kim pulled you back to your feet and began shaking you frantically.

“I know you can never trust me again after what I did to you, but all I ask is that you listen to my reason for doing so.”

“I refuse! No explanation can take back the consequences of your actions. You have betrayed not just me or Jungkook, but Namjoon and the rest of the Battle Triumph Soldiers. Do you not see the pain in their eyes during war tactic conferences as they stare at the empty seat that once belonged to Jungkook? Or how Namjoon still expects Jungkook to pull one of his antics right before training? Maybe you’ve seen how Seokjin still sharpens and polishes Jungkook’s sword every morning? Or noticed how Yoongi still eats half his meal because he thinks Jungkook would ask for the rest of it? Can you tell Hoseok is still the first to take off his gear because he expects Jungkook to jump on his back? Do you see Jimin linger at Jungkook’s door? Longing for a friend to confide his struggles to? Have you watched Taehyung visit Jungkook’s grave with flowers and just cry uncontrollably? Because I’ve seen it Mrs. Kim. I’ve seen it all. And seeing them go through that reopens every wound Jungkook’s death has caused and refreshes every ounce of hatred I have towards you.” Mrs. Kim can’t even think of a response to your confession. Her grip on her shoulder fell as she stood motionless in the middle of the hall. A quick observation of your surroundings helped you determined that you were in the middle of the West hall, the hall that leads to the battle arena. 

Your blood ran cold as the gates of the arena stared you down, taunting you with the knowledge of what that place represented.  As you expected, Jungkook was found guilty of treason sentenced to death. How you wish your father showed mercy by making it a quick execution. Rather, he chose to spark a flame of hope within you by sentencing him to a duel - a battle to save his life. Jungkook was a talented knight, that was an undeniable fact that the entire kingdom knew, but his opponent, Sir Hyun, was exemplary. As the Head Knight, nations quaked in fear when they crossed his path and would rather be met with a death by a blade than at the hands of Sir Hyun. He was relentless when given a task and always made sure to leave no victim behind. A madman is what most would call him, and they would be completely justified in their beliefs. The bottom of your lip began to quiver as flashes of that day played out.

Jungkook dragging his practically lifeless body to the center of the arena.

His opponent’s merciless attacks on his weakened body.

Jungkook’s poor attempts at defending himself.

The battle ending with a fatal blow to your lover’s chest.

“Princess?” Mrs. Kim tried capturing your attention when she noticed your rigid state, but it was no use, you couldn’t escape the image painted inside your head. The only man you ever loved lying in a crimson pool, choking on his own blood. The way you ran to him and held his head in your lap as your tears decorated his pale face. The quiet hush that fell over the crowd as they watched you cradle your lover back and forth. The heartbroken wails that escaped your lips as you desperately yelled for anyone to help him. The audience only offered silent murmurs of what they speculated was going on. Your parents, the King and Queen of the kingdom, astonished by the events unfolding in front of him.

“Mother! Father! Please, I love him!” Their silent judgment only brought fresh tears to your face as you realized they would offer no aid to the dying man. His voice called out what sounded like your name, so you focused your attention back to him, leaning closer so he wouldn’t strain himself trying to speak up.

“D- Dont be afraid of go-goodbye.”

You frantically shook your head, refusing to believe this is where it ends for the both of you, “No, no, no. This isn’t goodbye, it can’t be. I refuse to accept it.”

His weak smile caused you to grimace, knowing how much effort it must take for the small action, “It’s okay…” he muttered, his voice notably getting fainter, “Because I promise you… I’ll find you again.” Your brows knitted together in confusion at his words.

“Wha-What do you mean you’ll find me again?”

He broke into a smile at your inquisitive stare. How is it that even as death lay waiting at his door he could still see every detail etched into your face. From the small crease in your brow, to the small crinkles around your glassy eyes as you tried to decipher his words. Knowing that it would be Jungkook’s last time seeing your face he made sure to take in every detail and appreciate the beauty that you are, “One day…” he began, the throbbing pain in his chest was slowly subsiding. He wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a bad one, but he welcomed the peace, “We’ll be together again.”

Still confused by his words, thinking his wound was making him confused, you shook your head once again, “I don’t want to wait until one day. I want to be with you right now. Now. I wanted to live the rest of our lives together. Have children together along the way and start a family. To grow old and watch our generations prosper. Doesn’t that sound nice, Jungkook?”

His smile turned into a painful one. Not because of his injury, but because he could perfectly see the future you described. Two children, one boy and one girl, running around a small cottage as you sat in his lap with eyes full of love at the children you two had created. At night when the children were in bed, you and him would be awake, confessing your heart’s desires through touches and kisses. He could see it so vividly in front of him that he almost convinced himself that he wasn’t currently dying, but Jungkook knew. He knew it was unattainable.

“It sounds wonderful.” he confessed, voice growing weaker,  “And we don’t have to say goodbye to that dream, just… until next time.”

At the mention of ‘until next time’, you understood what he meant. Reeva had a tradition when seeing their knights off to battle in foregin territory. From a young age, every inhabitant of the kingdom was required to memorize a stanza entitled an Ode to Safe Travels. You always found it ridiculous because you thought it was nothing but a poetic way of saying goodbye. As you grew older and wiser, you realized it was not a poetic goodbye, but a promise to be reunited once again, whether it be in this life or the next one. And so with a tear stained face, you inched your face closer to Jungkook and whispered your farewells.

“For honor, you part from this kingdom,” your voice was broken from tears as you recite the lines you have spoken countless times to Jungkook before he was sent off to battle, but this time it was different because you knew he would not return from the place he going to, “In glory, you find victory in the next.” He raised a hand to brush away a few of your tears and hold your cheek in the palm of his hand. You welcomed his touch by leaning into it and holding it firm against your face, “Safe travels wherever the wind carries you.” You watched as tranquility took over his features and his eyes began to flutter close. Your heart clenched painfully at the sight and you squeezed his hand that was resting against your cheek in hopes of transferring some of your life force into him. However, dragging on the seconds into minutes would not extend Jungkook’s life so you forced yourself to finish the rest of the poem, “And may the stars guide you back to me,” He used his remaining strength to force a smile, sealing his promise to be reunited with you once again, whenever that may be.

“For honor, you part from this kingdom. In glory, you find victory in the next. Safe travels wherever the wind carries you. And may the stars guide you back home.”

-Reeva’s parting ode to their knights

[reachexceedinggrasp]

Fated to Love You here reaffirming my long held conviction that no pure romance drama should be 20+ episodes.

This show is... really something. It is, in the fullest possible sense, A Lot. It starts out as an all-out screwball comedy wrapped around a troperiffic romance fluff plot. Wall to wall clichés, but not in a bad way; in a meta, self-aware, peak performance, finest Velveeta way. And if you’re not familiar with screwball comedy, think ‘light-hearted crack fic with slapstick and farce’. There is nothing believable or grounded about any aspect of it, it starts at Bonkers Level: Platinum and it only climbs higher as it goes on.

(On a side note, this results in the leading man being possibly the most memorable love interest in romcom history. His introduction scene is nothing short of batshit insane and you can't reliably predict how he will respond to anything. I have never seen a main character like this, he is all over the shop and utterly singular. Your first reaction to him is ‘wtf?’, your second and third reactions are ‘really?! this guy??’, your fourth reaction is ‘okay he do be mad hot tho’, your fifth and final reaction is ‘I cannot believe this performance exists, I have no idea what he is doing, but it is amazing.’

Appropriately(?) the actor who plays him is an uncanny Korean doppelgänger of Johnny Depp and- between the resemblance, the mannerisms, and the fearless total commitment to a bold as fuck acting choice with the very serious chops to back it up- I’m not convinced they aren’t half brothers separated at birth.

They do sabotage my happiness several times by starting to randomly style his (long, beautiful) hair very weird, fixing it right when the plot is rapidly circling the drain so he looks his hottest just as the show becomes briefly unwatchable, and then ruining him for the entire second half of the series by shearing it all off. WHY, my anguished cry goes up. Why do you do this?! Why does he have like seven hairstyles over the course of the show? Much later they even briefly give him that ubiquitous Kdrama Second Lead haircut with weirdly forward combed fringe in a solid straight line across the brow all the way back from the crown. It looks terrible on everyone and I hate it so much. This version was less bad than most but it is still bad. Anyway.)

So it’s an incredibly fun time to start but there are some problems with the tone and plot even in the first 9 episodes, including when the lovers start getting along really well right away and they’re both thoroughly decent people so there’s nothing keeping them from having a lovely time together making the best of the circumstances (forced/fake marriage). And, instead of introducing new conflict or advancing one of the dozen conflicts previously established and actually moving forward, there is a painfully contrived rehash of something they already dealt with which is then just never resolved. They make the hero leap to a conclusion his wife is nefarious after he’d already decided once that she isn’t (though it was completely reasonable for him to think she was- the fact that he decided to trust her so quickly just speaks to what kind of person he is), never try to find out more or talk to anyone about it, start pushing her away because of it, and have all this come to absolutely nothing. It only exists so he’ll stop being so incredibly nice to her and they won’t fall in love too fast.

You’d think they would have to eventually clear the air before the romance advances right? No. It wasn’t a real plot point, it was just a reset button to get them estranged and hostile again after they connect over their kindred spirits and we’ve spent a bunch of time showing how profoundly supportive and honourable our hero is. He’s being beautifully mature and selfless because he’s a really good dude (unusual for a romcom drama, right? for the main guy to be nice and considerate? to accept responsibility even if he doesn’t have to? Gun’s weird but he’s wonderful), but the writers need him to be cold and standoffish, so they just make him act like an unreasonable idiot for a while. He’s been thus far hugely proactive and direct and honest about everything, it’s one of his most prominent character traits, but suddenly he’s going to avoid confrontation in favour of being super passive aggressive?? Then the writers never solve it. Never! It just goes away. He got over it, I guess? He decided he doesn’t care if she’s a gold digger who deliberately trapped him? God forbid we have motivations that make sense and organic character drama, right? It's not like he didn't have totally valid reasons to be suspicious that could have led to legitimate conflict our heroine would struggle to vindicate herself from.

But anyway, apart from that kind of lazy bullshit, it’s a fine romance plot with extremely endearing characters who have great chemistry. They are fun and well-rounded and incredibly human despite all the silliness and OTT antics. Their relationship is hugely, hugely engaging and the dynamic is perfect, they really complement each other as characters and organically drive each other's arcs. There's the genuine depth and warmth and quiet pathos so often lacking from this kind of show. Things progress at a semi-reasonable pace. They work up to confessing their mutual feelings and get into some cute shenanigans before making out. It happens soon enough that you are not frustrated, but there's still plenty of build-up. Then- uh oh! We’re only 9 eps in and we have another 11 hours to fill with this fluffy plot!

Time for a bunch of absolute fucking nonsense. Time for our show, which has been so goofy and removed from reality it occasionally resembles a Monty Python skit, which has been so light it asks you to ignore the frankly incredibly fucked up implications of its premise for the sake of comedy (they were both drugged and proxy raped resulting in a pregnancy- the FL was a virgin prior to this and Gun had a girlfriend he wanted to propose to- and it was the FL’s family who did this to them: SUPER FUCKED UP), so farcical that it makes Some Like it Hot look like a gritty crime drama, that show to cover a bunch of serious heavy shit.

First, the rankest of melodrama. The families and the world all turn on our couple, but their love is true and will conquer all- UNTIL, he randomly collapses and gets convenient Soap Opera Amnesia. He’s forgotten their entire relationship and a series of coincidental pieces of misconstrued evidence, the machinations of his scheming ex girlfriend, the Soap Opera Doctor’s advice, and his closest confidants all going along with this conspire to make him believe (AGAIN) that his wife just wants his money.

This whole terrible episode is mercifully brief, but it just gets worse after his memory returns. This is where we get into the Noble Idiocy. The ‘pretend you don’t love them to “save them” from getting hurt by hurting them and making their important life decisions for them as if they don’t have a basic fucking right to decide that themselves’ kind. Which goes on for three FUCK years in the show. He wastes three years of their lives they could have spent together because he’s worried he might die young (in a terrible way) and doesn’t want to put her through that. And, of course, they inevitably get together later, so all he did was make it infinitely worse for her either way. To say nothing of how he thus couldn’t be there for her through the loss of their child. Possibly my most hated fucking trope of all time when done this way.

And, yep, you read that right. This show that has the single most batshit bonkers over the top slapstick I have ever seen in a kdrama, this show has a storyline where the fluffy romcom trope accidental pregnancy ends in massive trauma. Because she was standing around in the street after realising he does remember her (he continued to pretend he had amnesia after his memories came back, it’s all part of the stupid noble idiocy so I glossed over it) and gets hit by a car in the middle of their angst staring.

It is nearly Meet Joe Black levels of hilariously abrupt and incongruous.

so, blah blah, they lose their baby (there’s a very stupid whole thing about her telling everyone to save the baby instead of her- the baby is not far enough along for this to have been remotely viable. She is like 3 months pregnant. They all act like there’s a choice to be made between them and she’s mad at her husband for choosing to save her, but there was NO CHOICE. Either she lives or they both die! ffs I’m so irritated about this) and then he dumps her ~for her own good~~ because he loves her too much to make her go through losing him? So she loses him sooner?? right after their baby died???

Why do people in these stories always think being betrayed and abandoned for no reason and being incredibly angry at someone you love while also not getting to be with them is somehow less painful than making the best of your life together and then losing them against their will? ‘I will make her hate me and then she won’t be sad we broke up/I died!!!!’ is such a fucking galaxy brain take and I despise it with the heat of ten thousand suns. Fuck you, Spider-Man. You aren’t protecting anyone, the villains still know you love MJ and will still use her against you, you clod. Emotionally torturing the person you love is not going to make them not a target because the villains are not as fucking stupid as you two. Anyway.

Amnesia was right where I started fast-forwarding and skipping around (because I couldn’t bear it), but it only goes downhill from there. Maybe I would have toughed out more of the wretched middle part plot twist if they hadn’t cut all the hot guy’s hair off. If I’m going to watch total nonsense tedious melodrama, I need it to at least be pretty. I understand it was a Symbolic Haircut but damnit! Let me have this!

And it ultimately does the thing that kdramas seem obsessed with and which makes me want to claw out my own eyeballs with frustration. There’s a giant time skip, the female lead gets a personality transplant, all narrative momentum is lost, and the characters who eventually (at ENORMOUS length) get together permanently are essentially completely different characters with a completely different dynamic than the couple you were shipping for 90% of the story. It is so FUCKING unsatisfying and it is EVERYWHERE.

Not so much with this one because this one still had a lot of very romantic scenes late in the game, but most that do this, it’s also like all the romance is sucked out of the post-time skip episodes and the ending is a consolation prize instead of a triumphant culmination. Inevitably, the heroine abruptly cools off and is suddenly wary of the hero and wants this Important New Career she never mentioned until the penultimate episode but is now her one true life’s dream. What the apparently irresistible appeal is of these contrived separations and demure conclusions is I CANNOT FATHOM. I’m here for the fucking romance guys, you have not made Citizen Kane, please just indulge me with a big schmoopy finale.

And if not that, it’s frequently that there’s been so many random mood swings and so much shitty behaviour by the end that the relationship doesn’t make sense and you don’t know why they even bother to get back together.

I’m not inherently against all misunderstandings (they are the bread and butter of low stakes romance let’s be real) or attempts at noble idiocy from misguided characters, but the duration and seriousness of the drama these generate needs to be in proportion to how ridiculous they are. If your entire plot can be solved by a thirty second conversation there is NO REASON not to have and the continuation of the misunderstanding is a result of someone just NOT SPEAKING UP when any functional human being would have spoken up seven times by now IT’S BAD.

Do little cliff-hangers, whatever, but don’t draaaaagg out silly misconceptions into Shakespearean tragedy, it’s just wearying. It makes me hate the characters for acting like emotionally constipated toddlers with terminal stupidity. If there is so little trust, so little understanding, and so little basic patience between these people, they probably shouldn’t be dating, so try fucking harder, writers. And noble idiocy that is more than an impulse they fairly quickly see the error of is just insulting. You are not helping the other person, you are being domineering and selfish. I have a whole complex about wasting time and seeing endless parades of characters flushing years down the toilet for literally no reason gives me hives. Especially when the whole issue is about time!

(And, btw, so much of the plot is about how desperately the family needs an heir and everyone still wanting them to have kids the second time they get together- while the ~dilemma used to keep them apart is a GENETIC DISEASE which could STRIKE AT ANY TIME. Do you SEE THE PROBLEM WITH THIS WRITERS????? NO, I KNOW YOU DON’T. ommmmmmmmggggg that’s awful! So they’re just dooming more kids to Soap Opera Brain Disease? And maybe growing up without a father just as Gun did? And no one even considers suggesting adoption??? He never considers that he shouldn’t have biological children despite thinking he shouldn’t have a wife?)

ANYWAY. Please do watch the first nine episodes and the last three, it’s bananas. They are cute as fuck, Gun is The Best, and the tropey romance scenes are top quality. You don't get those things executed so well, it doesn't happen, so you need this in your life. The acting is of a calibre you never usually see in modern romcoms; these are people at the top of their game committing utterly and taking these characters completely seriously. In that way it is pure wish fulfilment for me as someone who loves romance and is almost always disappointed by popular romance media, and thus the show is incalculably special. But skip the middle. Just skip it. It's not worth the suffering. I find the tone whiplash honestly just this side of crass.

I’ve been thinking about it for over a week and I truly love the main characters so it did plenty right, but I just cannot with wedding the two things this show is trying to be together, especially when it goes so hard in two mutually exclusive directions. but also the Meet Joe Black sudden car accident device is not redeemable under any circumstances. Can we never do that again, please.

[four-loose-screws]

FE4 Suzuki Novelization Translation (Gen II) - Chapter 10

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Chapter 10 - Dark God Loptous

After the battle at Thracia Castle ended, Seliph gathered his entire army and said, "With this battle over, all of Thracia is free! But that does not mean the war is over here, because the children taken from here are still missing. When we safely save them, that will be the beginning of the end of the war in Thracia.

"We didn't come here to fight and defeat the Thracian dragon knights. We came to fight and save the people from the Loptr Church's oppression, as well as save the children from being sacrificed.

"Just because we've liberated Thracia, does not mean we can party, or rest. We must begin to march soon. To Miletos, to rescue the children. Then, we will go to Grannvale next, and topple the empire!"

After fighting one battle after another, the soldiers were all tired, but Seliph's speech put them in high spirits.

"To Miletos!" One person shouted, which soon turned into everyone shouting.

"To Miletos!"

Seliph had also grown over the past year. His position as the leader of the liberation army made him experience many times more worries, decisions, and orders than one living a normal life, but it had also outfitted him with charisma befitting of a leader.

The liberation army left Thracia Castle without taking much time to rest, then started marching towards the Miletos region right away.

The Miletos region (sandwiched between a portion of the sea surrounded by land) was located south of the empire, and was home to many cities that had built a great amount of wealth through trade. Those trade cities used the power of their wealth to avoid interference from the surrounding nations, and each possessed self governing rights like that of independent countries.

Peruluke was one such city. It was a northern port city located near the Thracian border. The land bridge that connected Grannvale and the Thracian Peninsula was extremely inconvenient for transporting goods, so Peruluke took advantage of that geographical situation and prided itself on how it flourished as a relay base for trade.

However, when the liberation army reached Peruluke after fighting a harsh battle, they couldn't believe their eyes. What lay before them was a far cry from a prosperous city. Instead, it looked like it was about to die. After just a few years of the empire and Loptr Church's rule, the most beautiful city on the isthmus had changed into a town that reeked of death.

The Thracian children were nowhere to be found. As they were the first children to be taken from Thracia, they were said by the Loptrian priests to all be "the finest treasures." Because of that, they were quickly taken to Queen Hilda's Chronos Castle.

Hilda was from Velthomer, the same house as the emperor, but she'd married Bloom of Friege and had two children with him. One was Ishtor, who'd been killed at Melgan Castle, and the other was Ishtar, Julius' beloved.

Hilda was so cruel by nature that it could be considered insanity. And it was only doubled when her husband and son were killed by the liberation army. 

When the liberation army thought of what kind of fate awaited the Thracian children, they couldn't afford to relax in Peruluke. They quickly prepared for their next attack.

-

During their preparations, Julia went missing.

'Did she have some kind of premonition?' Seliph wondered.

As soon as they'd gained control of Peruluke, she had approached Seliph to talk to him, and he did not know the reason why, so he’d felt uneasy ever since.

'It's really unusual for her to be the one to start a conversation with me.'

Ever since Lewyn had entrusted Julia to him, as her guardian, he'd always taken special care of her. However, she did not take advantage of that. Especially ever since she'd learned that Lana loved him, it was apparent that she was always avoiding him on purpose.

But on the battlefield, she told a different story. Though she'd previously been a shaman, she could also use light magic. Seliph had given her an Aura spellbook he’d obtained during the battle in Isaach, and used it to fight bravely, killing countless enemies.

Seliph talked to Lewyn about what to do.

"Julia's gone missing!"

The always calm Lewyn looked unusually shaken up. "I see, that is a huge error on our part. We needed to be more careful. It seems we underestimated the enemy a bit."

"What's become of her?"

"She was kidnapped by the enemy. That's the only thing I can think of."

"But why?"

"I don't know why yet. But your mother Deirdre also went missing once. It was during the fight  with King Chagall in Augustria. She'd just given birth to you, so she didn't participate in the battle. However, during a break in the fighting, she left the castle to meet with Sigurd. That was when she went missing.

"The next time I saw her was during the Battle of Belhalla. She appeared before us as King Azmur's granddaughter and Arvis' newly wedded wife. That makes you and Crown Prince Julius brothers from different fathers."

"Lewyn, I've always had this feeling. This feeling that you're hiding a lot from me. Please tell it me. Don't worry about my feelings. I want you to tell me everything you know."

"Yes, I was thinking that the time would soon come for me to tell you. It seems like this is perfect timing.

"Until now, I have emphasised the aspect of this war that is the people standing up against the tyranny of the empire and Loptr Church. That was because I wanted you, as the leader of this army, to think about the people. No matter how many Crusaders wielding Holy Weapons rise up, if you are not an ally to the people, you have no chance of winning.

“But when I heard your speech in Thracia recently, I felt that you now have all the qualities of a leader. So I think it's finally time for me to tell you about one more aspect of this: the Crusader's battle.

“I have traveled the world for over ten years in search of the truth about the Battle of Belhalla. What really caused it? I met more people that I could count, and scrutinized each and every record of the event I could find. I thought the profession of bard fit in perfectly with that goal, but I also occasionally changed my appearance. I have even disguised myself as a priest of the Loptr Church.

“That was how I discovered a huge secret."

And so, Lewyn began to tell a long story.

"This happened about three hundred fifty years ago.

“Galle, who would go on to become the founder of the Loptrian Empire, crossed the sea and traveled the world when he was young. His goal was to drink the blood of an ancient dragon of legend and gain power that humans could not possibly match.

"Nowadays, ancient dragons have become the products of our imaginations. No one has ever seen one. However, when Galle returned home from his journey, he possessed a mysterious power.

“Galle had been ambitious from the very beginning, and in Year 440 of the Gran Calendar, he said that he was the arrival of the one and only god Loptous, then founded the Loptr Church. After that, he used his mysterious powers to reform many young people, and created an evil army that did exactly as he told them to.

"Seven years later, his army caused a civil war within the Gran Republic. The world called it "The Rebellion of the Twelve Deadlords." In just half a year, the republic fell. And in the next year, they established the Loptrian Empire, with Archbishop Galle as its emperor. That was when Loptous transformed into a dark god.

"Loptous wanted the fresh blood of children. Those who resisted were killed without mercy. The "Tragedy of Miletos" and "Massacre of Edda" that we still pass down stories of now, are nothing more than particularly striking examples from that time. 

"To the people, every single day was a living hell.

"Finally, they were unable to put up with it any longer, and in Year 535, Maira, of the imperial family, started a rebellion. Maria's rebellion was quickly suppressed, but after that, a liberation army rose up in every region, revolting to overthrow the empire.

“The liberation armies were defeated by the mighty imperial army, but where one was defeated, another rose up in its place, and the fighting continued on for a long time. Only the fighting itself could not be stopped. Then, the Miracle of Darna, which you've spoken of before, occurred.

"The gods that descended at that time knew that the chaos occurring on the Jugdralian continent was caused by powers those of the dragon tribes possess, and if they left things as they were, then the entire world would one day be controlled by dragons. To prevent that, they came from their other world.

  “The gods took on human forms. For example, Light God Naga appeared as a young girl, and Fire God Salamander appeared as an old man. Next, they exchanged a blood pact with twelve warriors, meaning that they pricked their fingers, and gave their blood to the warriors. It was the same way that Galle hand received the ancient dragon's power. The twelve gods were actually dragons as well.

"The dragons gave the warriors their blood, as well as twelve weapons that had their powers sealed inside them. That is how the Twelve Crusaders were born. 

"Loptous was the most evil of his tribe, one that possessed terrifying power. Only the Dragon King Naga could oppose him. And so, Naga gave Saint Heim, the leader of the liberation army, her blood, and the Book of Naga. 

“After that, they passed on several warnings to the Crusaders, then left. The Twelve Crusaders combined their powers and finally defeated the emperor of the Loptrian Empire, who was Loptous current incarnation. Some were against the efforts to eradicate Loptous’ bloodline, as they questioned whether or not it was necessary to go so far as killing the children. However, they had no other options. One of Naga's warnings explained to them that Loptous could be revived. 

“If a woman who'd inherited Loptous' blood birthed a boy and a girl with one of the descendants of the Twelve Crusaders, and their children then had a child of their own, Loptous would be reborn in that child. Fearing that possibility, the Crusaders killed every member of Loptous' family. However, one person managed to go undetected by the Crusaders.

“That person was a descendant of Maira, the one to start the rebellions. The emperor who suppressed the rebellion had massacred Maira's family, but a child he'd had with a commoner when he was young escaped. Maira had only spent one night with the mother, so he didn't know they'd had a child together. Because of that, the child was not treated as a member of the imperial family.

"One hundred years passed.

"Naga's warning was the "Hope of Resurrection" to the surviving followers of Loptous. Any of them that were found were burned at the stake. However, the priests could use magic, so some hid their identities, and served royals and the wealthy.

"Those mages searched tirelessly for a survivor of Loptous's family, and, in the end, they found a descendant of Maira. That lineage had birthed a daughter, whom the priests educated in the behavior and speech of a high-class woman, dressed in fine clothes, and sent to a place where she would be noticed by a man who'd descended from one of the Twelve Crusaders.

"Eventually, the woman, named Cigyun, caught the eye of Duke Velthomer. Though she did not wish to marry him, she had no choice but to do exactly as the mages told her to.

"That marriage resulted in the birth of Arvis.

"But later on, Grannvale's Prince Kurth sympathized with her plight, and the two developed a secret love. As soon Duke Velthomer discovered it, he felt he could not bear such a disgrace, and committed suicide.

"Meanwhile, Cigyun was terrified of the weight of her sins, and fled Velthomer. She was pregnant with Prince Kurth's child at that time. After returning to her home, the Verdane Forest, she gave birth to a daughter, who was your mother, Deirdre.

"The Loptrian priests searched frantically for Cigyun. However, by the time they figured out where she had been, she had already passed. That was when Deirdre and Sigurd were married, and had even already had you.

"However, the priests didn't give up there. Their only hope was in Loptous' revival.

“For that reason, they kidnapped Deirdre and erased her memory. The one to do that was probably Archbishop Manfroy. He had appeared when Arvis came of age. This is also just a guess, but Manfroy probably told Arvis that he has both Mage Warrior Fjalar and Loptous' blood, and once Arvis knew that, he likely feared that he would be burned at the stake. Of course, Manfroy undoubtedly also whispered in his ear sweet words of making him emperor if he'd cooperate with the Loptr Church.

“And so, Arvis fell in love with Deirdre at first sight. Then, he introduced her to King Azmur as his betrothed. The king took one look at her, and suspected that she might be a member of his family. When he had Deirdre take off her circlet, he saw the Holy Mark of a descendant of Saint Heim. He recognized her as his late son's daughter, and entrusted the country to them.

"That happened right before the Battle of Belhalla. Since three years prior to that, battles had occurred here and there across the continent, but it’s believed that those were also orchestrated by Manfroy from behind the scenes. There's no question that Manfroy's target was Arvis and Deirdre's child, and to end the bloodlines of the Crusaders before Loptous was reborn. And things went as he'd planned. When the Battle of Belhalla was over, the only surviving descendants were Arvis and Travant.

"Then, Julius, the child who was supposed to eventually become Loptous in the future, was born. The first half of Arvis rule was not a bad one, but recently, the Loptr Church's tyranny has become obvious, and I'm certain this is because Julius has grown and become powerful. 

"Arvis and Deirdre had one more child, a daughter and Julius' twin. She should be, of course, Saint Heim's descendant, but no one has seen her at the palace in years, meaning she has gone missing. But she is actually Julia.

"She is your sister from another father.

"The only thing is, I do not know the reason why she was kidnapped.

“I know it has something to do with Loptous' rebirth, but how is Julia connected to that? She may be a descendant of a Crusader, but that doesn’t necessarily mean she was born with one of their powers. Julius should be the same. Has Loptous already been reborn within Julius, or has that not happened yet, and they need Julia for it? Or perhaps they are trying to round up all the Crusader’s descendants fighting with the liberation army, for something like the Battle of Belhalla. Is that why they kidnapped Julia, because their goal is simply to recreate that?

"That is what I do not know."

Lewyn's long story was finally finished.

There was so much to it, that Seliph didn't know what to say right away.

Just then, Lana walked into the room. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, you're okay. Do you need something?" Seliph asked.

"A bard has asked if you'd like to listen to a poem about the Crusaders."

"I don't really want to hear it right now, but…"

"No, a bard is a person that always tells the truth. If he's come from afar, we absolutely should listen.” Lewyn said.

Lana led them to the bard, a blind old man. His clothing was not at all stylish like Lewyn's, and he had nothing but a kithara with him, making him easily mistakable for a beggar.

 He clumsily bowed his head, then raised his kithara.

However, from the moment his fingers strummed the strings, and the first sound echoed into the air, the proof of his skill was undeniable. The first measure was powerful, the second was like something from a dream, and from the third onwards, he strummed a string of complex chords.

When the short prelude ended, he recited with a clear voice,

'Black Knight Hezul

Cut through the darkness with Demon Sword Mystletainn

Sword Saint Od

Swept away the darkness with Divine Blade Bulmung

Holy Warrior Baldr

Lit up the darkness with Holy Sword Tyrfing

And lastly, Saint Heim

Prayed to the heavens with the Book of Naga

The prayer turned into a light

Which turned into a white dragon

That challenged the black dragon to battle

The white dragon and the black dragon,

Light and darkness,

Fight a long battle that might never end

Will it end in victory?

Or in death?

I am not afraid

For even if our battle

Ends in defeat 

The light we seek

Will never be lost

I believe

In those who will inherit our hearts

I believe

In those who will inherit our light.'

Seliph gave a huge round of applause for the bard's magnificent recitation of the poem.

The bard winked at Lewyn, then left the room.

"What's the matter, Lewyn? That was an amazing performance, wasn't it?"

Seliph looked at and asked Lewyn, who hadn't clapped, and spoke not a word, because he was lost in thought.

"I was a fool."

"Why? Why were you a fool?"

"The reason why Julia was kidnapped. It was obvious. She isn't necessary for Loptous’ revival. She's the opposite - she's an obstacle in their way, because she is the inheritor to the Book of Naga. Meaning she is the one who possesses the power to defeat Loptous. I fear that Loptous has already been revived, and he intends to kill her. Why did I not realize it sooner!?"

"What did you just say!? Then we must go save her right away!"

'Julia, please stay alive.' Seliph prayed. 'We'll come save you. Until then, please stay alive.'

[skia-oura]

Closing Costs

A/N: Just a fun lil fic about the Ben Trio going house hunting :)

ao3

___________________________________________________

CORDALINE GABLES

Senior Sales Associate

hello@cordgab.org

Phone  HomeStar Inc. Messaging

 Originally from Fairfax, Old Jersey, Cordaline Gables made her home in Norfolk over a decade ago, and has worked in real estate for nineteen years. She double-majored in Business and Transcendence-Age Architecture at the prestigious University of San Antonio. Her expertise is in finding gems hidden in the crooks and corners of suburban Norfolk, but she is additionally skilled at scouting lovely apartments and homes further away from the city center. When she isn’t matching clients to their dream homes, Cordelia enjoys playing recreational badminton with her partner and taking long walks together with their beloved dog, Sniffles. Please place your trust in Cordelia!

Audio Version             Non-English Versions             Font Adjustment

 -

 New Automated Message: New Customer Application Form

NAME: Torako Lam

PARTNER: Yes [2] ; NAME: Bentley Farkas ; NAME: Tyrone Pines

CHILDREN: No

AGE: 27 ; DOB: June 17 3016

PHONE  EMAIL

PRICE RANGE: Up to $350,000  flexible inflexible

LOCATION: Within [75]km from [Niklakka Labs]

SIZE: 450—600 m2

BD: [3+]        

BTH: [1.5+]    

K: [Yes]          

LR: [No]

GRG: [No]

BY/GDN: [Yes]          

à SIZE: 125—175 m2

ADDITIONAL REQUESTS HERE:

--No dimensional subspaces

--Away from magically-charged hotspots

--Customizable Security Systems

--Garden Shed on premises, please

--Large Windows a Plus

Thank you for accommodating us! We look forward to hearing back about the properties under your purview and making our viewing appointments!

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@cordgab.org

SUBJECT: Hello from Homestar Realtors!!

RECEIVED: July 19th, 3042

 Dear Torako Lam,

           It’s a pleasure to make your virtual acquaintance! My name is Cordelia Gables, and I’m your HomeStar Inc. appointed estate agent. I look forward to working with you and fulfilling your needs in this new chapter of your life. I have attached a list of five properties that I think may fit your needs. Please view them with your partners and let me know if there are any that don’t fit your specifications so that we may get them out of the way before viewing the homes in person. I await your reply at your earliest convenience!

 Sincerely,

Cordelia Gables

HomeStar Inc. Realtors

 House Profile 1/5:

1345 16th Avenue

Norfolk, VA 68C 22980

4 Beds  | 2 Bath  |  529 m2  | $298,000

[49 img]

 A lovely four-bedroom family home, this property includes high-quality faux-wood flooring, recently renovated wallboard, and a lovely spiral staircase straight out of a 2500’s property magazine. The kitchen boasts a brand-new stove and oven set as well as a state of the art StayFridge™ made from the finest recycled materials from North Africa. The front garden is already blooming with the loveliest daphnes, and the entire property is fenced in by rosebushes. The backyard is perfect for the smallest feet, whether those be of children or beloved pets. Don’t forget the stylish and practical EverExpanding Cabinetry installed in every part of the house—you will never run out of storage space! Each bathroom boasts a shower-tub combo, and the upper floor bathroom comes with gorgeous hand-tiled floors.

House Profile 2/5:

195 St. Phillip’s Crtwy.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22980

3 Beds  | 3 Bath  |  501 m2  |  $311,000

[12 img]

 This three-bedroom, three-story property sits in the center of the city, a mere five-minute’s walk from two elementary schools and ten minutes from the nearest junior high school. While the original structure dates back all the way to 2258, its most recent renovation was completed less than five years ago in 3039. You are certain to love the open kitchen-dining-living room setup that comprises the bottom floor, leaving the remaining three beds and two baths on the upper two floors. Each bedroom has a Magical View Window, with settings that include worldwide destinations as well as the default ‘Real’ setting for those who prefer to stay close to home. Comes with a Laundry Room in an AltBasement. Gardening space and shed included.

 House Profile 3/5:

98 Summer Estates 29¾ th St.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22981

5 Beds  | 2.5 Bath  |  598 m2  | $253,000

[28 img]

             Don’t let this house’s exterior fool you! This customizable and generous home is sure to make you feel a sense of belonging inside with its cozy ethically-sourced carpets, warm ReelWoodTM paneled walls, and burnished staircase leading to a second floor. This home includes a basement for any storage needs as well as an attic! An antique kitchen with a real non-stasis fridge are sure to fill you with longing for older, simpler times away from the busy heyday of modern life and modern worries. While the garden needs some tender love in the front (perfect for those who love a project!), the back hosts two sheds and plenty of space to grow your own produce!

 House Profile 4/5:

637 S. Felicity Dr.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22982

4 Beds  | 2 Bath  |  645 m2  | $290,000

[118 img]

             Comfortably situated in the hilly outskirts of Norfolk, this property will let you live out all your rural life fantasies without sacrificing the conveniences of urban living. Located close to a municipal transport station and within a ten minute’s bike ride of a small neighborhood shopping center, this two-story house boasts an expansive front porch and a balcony off the master bedroom. Each bedroom is larger than average, and each bathroom has a shower/tub room separate from the toilet and wash sink. The kitchen is recently renovated with state of the art appliances included in the price of purchase. The grounds around the property are large enough for both a garden and for outdoor activities such as badminton or good old fashioned tag. A basement provides adequate storage space without the hassle of dimensional subspace installment or upkeep.

 House Profile 5/5:

12841 NE 112th Pl.

Norfolk, VA 68C 22981

3 Beds  | 1.5 Bath  |  398 m2  |  $215,000

[56 img]

             Boasting a reasonably large garden, this cozy home is at the southern end of the city, within convenient distance of a major hospital, a police station, and several schools. Public transportation is not an issue! And neither will be cooking in the quaint kitchenette, set directly across a furnished dining room. One bedroom and half bathroom are on the bottom floor, and the remaining rooms are located on the second floor. Please see the attached images for more information!

 -

 July 19th

KoraTora

I’ve forwarded you the message the realtors sent me. Objections to any of these before I comb through them for my own preferences?

 DipTipTyrone

i still vote we just shack up with the sheep

 KoraTora

Oh my stars dips that’s

we agreed that’s not a possibility

we would literally go insane

 Bentley:

No, we would go mad almost immediately

Yes what Tora said

Um, looking at them, House 1 is out for sure. You sure you specified no extra-dimensional subspaces?

 KoraTora

You know I did

 DipTipTyrone

i got a perfectly good house up there. antique. ud love it. historians dream. excellent neighbors too. dont pry. no drama.

also protip house3 has some srs bad vibes. I think I actually recognize the basement wallpaper, on second thought.

 KoraTora

????

 DipTipTyrone

Yeah, that striping—oh, that was a pretty good one. Didn’t need to answer a call for the following five years.

 Bentley

In that case, I think we’re not going to do house 3, Tora.

 KoraTora

Ohshit

Whaddya mean, Ben?? Don’t want to live there?? It could???? Be fun!!!!

 Bentley

Yeah no

 KoraTora

Roger that, no worries.

So no to 1 and 3, any others problematic?

Oh wait Ben, u might want to take another look at 2 if u haven’t already.

 Bentley

?

What do you mean, it looked fine?

3 stories are good by me

Sure the counters in the kitchen are ugly in the photos but?

 DipTipTyrone

AltBasement and Magic Windows

u wont like them

 Bentley

Oh

Okay, then 1-3 are all out. You good with 4 and 5, Tora? Dip?

 KoraTora

Yeah I hated 2’s counters too

So I’m good with checking 4 and 5 out for now.

We can always see others after this too!!

 DipTipTyrone

youre the ones actually living there

 KoraTora

Don’t u start on that mister

ur living with us, even if you’re not always around

 Bentley

It’s gonna be your home too, you know

Anyways, I can make time for an appointment next week, Tora, so don’t worry about timing on my end too much

They keep trying to send me home early anyways. Keep talking about PTSD and resting and whatever.

 KoraTora

What happened??

I will drag you home

And lay on you

And make you rest

 Bentley

Nothing happened!! They’re just worried

All the time

…Dipper you did not show up at the front desk.

This is not a good place for you

Dipper

 KoraTorako

Dipper yes!!

But also no!!!!!!

 DipTipTyrone

We’ll be home soon.

Love you.

 KoraTorako

<3

But also that was dumb shit you just pulled

 -

Appointment Notice

7/21/42

SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2, ID 64239

PROPERTIES: House #4428, House #6609

START TIME: 10:30, from HomeStar Inc. HQ

END TIME: 12:30, SPECIAL ALLOWANCE Late Lunch Hour, Gables, ID 980039385

NOTES:

Will initially view House #4428 before venturing out to the outskirts of Norfolk to view House #6609. Hopefully one suffices; if not, consider suggesting Houses #1103, #4345, and #3327.

Potentially choosy clients.

 -

 Shari Ndadia, 11:28 AM

Cords, I heard you’re back early?

What happened?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:29 AM

My intuition was right, they are uncannily choosy clients

We didn’t even make it into 4428 before one of them stopped still and said ‘No.’

 Shari Ndadia, 11:29 AM

Holy shit

What??

What was it?? It couldn’t have been the exterior. It was so nice in the pics I’ve seen.

You always snatch up the nice ones.

 Cordelia Gables, 11:30 AM

Apparently

The InvisiFence was too magical

 Shari Ndadia, 11:30 AM

What the?

But, like, almost all the houses in Norfolk proper have InvisiFences?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:30 AM

Exactly

Which is why I thought ‘oh thank God we’ve got 6609, no InvisiFence’

And it went well at first, but then I told them about the security system

And the tall one was like ‘oh no’

And I was also like ‘oh no’

 Shari Ndadia, 11:32 AM

Wait

Wait

You’re still at square one with these clients?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:32 AM

Yes.

 Shari Ndadia, 11:32 AM

You? Queen of Sales?

She Who Strikes Yes On At Least One Initial Property?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:33 AM

Like I said: choosy.

 Shari Ndadia, 11:33 AM

What was wrong with the security system?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:33 AM

Not customizable

Though to be fair

They probably were only going to give that house a maybe

They weren’t too thrilled about the stasis fridge

 Shari Ndadia, 11:35 AM

…choosy.

I wish you luck with them. You going to go through our backlog of communal properties yet?

 Cordelia Gables, 11:36 AM

I’m not that desperate yet.

 -

To: olpink@homstar.com

From: cogable@homestar.com

SUBJECT: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Mx. Pinkflax

           I regret to inform you that I have truly exhausted all of our listed properties for Client Lam and her partners. They have refused everything I have offered; I wonder myself if the property they want even exists within Norfolk. Between their confusing and adamant disdain for any kind of dimensional subspace (including things as mundane as storage spaces) and their insistence on customizable security systems, as well as their avoidance and hesitance around any kind of technology that involves stasis in any way, shape, or form, it has been impossible to fulfil their needs with the properties available to us.

           My suggestion moving forward is to either assign them to another Realtor within HomeStar, or to transfer their entire application to another company. If I recall correctly, you are on friendly terms with Lindquist Realtors. Perhaps something in their directory will suffice.

 Sincerely

Cordelia Gables

 To: cogable@homestar.com

From: olpink@homestar.com

SUBJECT: RE: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Cordelia,

           Are you sure there’s nothing? You’ve gone through the communal backlog? I’ve looked over the application and I have some thoughts. What about House #7421? Or #8577? They’re a bit above price range, but I believe they could work.

 Olive Pinkflax

 To: olpink@homstar.com

From: cogable@homestar.com

SUBJECT: RE: Issue with Client Lam [64239]

RECEIVED: July 30th, 3042

Mx. Pinkflax,

           With all due respect, I have met with this trio every day for the last week. I dug into the backlog. I have recommended over 50 properties and shown them about a third of those. I was close with #4443, but the damn pet flap and subspace pet room killed it. If I don’t get a break from dealing with these very nice, very terrible clients, I will explode. The brown haired one has taken to very poorly concealed laughter whenever the hoodie-mask one refuses to set foot on the property. I cannot.

           If you have ideas of properties that would suffice, please be my guest. It would be nice to get back into the practical side if things, wouldn’t it?

 Sincerely,

Cordelia Gables

 -                              

 OLIVE PINKFLAX

Senior Realtor

hello@pinkoliv.org

Phone  HomeStar Inc. Messaging

 Born and raised in Norfolk, Olive Pinkflax hasn’t always wanted to be in the real estate business. They studied History of Architecture and Design in Georgia at the University of Savannah with the intent of pursuing a career in either graphic design or interior decorating. They then went abroad to work at non-profit agencies for a total of five years—in which the job market back home changed, largely at the fault of the Recession of 2978. Due to a lack of job openings, however, they eventually took a secretarial position at UniqNorfolq, a small real-estate business. There, they learned the tools of the trade due to insufficient staffing. By 2995, UniqNorfolq had become HomeStar under Pinkflax’s capable hand. While still small, they have grown the company into a name synonymous with quality, perseverance, and dedication to their clients. When not busy at their company, Pinkflax enjoys painting at home and doting on their pet rat, Squeakums.  

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 -

��Client Transfer Notice, HomeStar Inc. Realtors

7/30/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2, ID 64239

ORG SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

NEW SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

REASONING:

Client Lam and her partners have proven to be challenging cases. As this is the case, I have decided that the current best course of action would be to handle their properties personally. Attached to their case file are a list of all the properties that they have been recommended and shown, as well as notes describing their reasons for discontinuing interest. I am open to collaboration and ideas.

Pinkflax

 -

 July 31st

KoraTorako

We’ve been transferred to another Realtor at HomeStar, guys. Apparently it’s the owner of the company.

Bentley

I was afraid this would happen.

We’re being so picky.

DipTipTyrone

Better to be picky now and end up with what we want later!

A quickly made deal is always worse for the receiving party. Better to bide our time.

KoraTorako

Yeah, what Dip said

Also, of course we’re picky??? We’re traumatized.

We’re allowed to be picky, even if they don’t know why.

Bentley

I mean…I could live with a subspace we’d never use, I guess

KoraTorako

No

DipTipTyrone

No

Bentley

Why??

It’s my hangup

KoraTorako

You’re already compromising on stasisware

Bentley

We can always replace that!!

KoraTorako

So?? It still makes you super uncomfortable for completely valid reasons.

I still think we shouldn’t compromise on that.

Bentley

If we didn’t compromise on that

There would be nothing in Norfolk

I’m starting to think there is nothing with our current demands

The house on Clement was cute, wasn’t it? It was nice!

DipTipTyrone

It had the subspace pet flap

Bentley

That we’d never use!!

KoraTorako

You looked ready to start sparking

Or glittering

And also you had that ‘I’m on the edge of reexperiencing all of my recent traumas’ face on

Bentley

If I can deal with everything in daily life

I can deal with a pet flap

KoraTorako

But it’s our home

You shouldn’t have to deal with it at home

This is supposed to be a safe space.

DipTipTyrone

Home isn’t daily—ok Torako got me.

Bentley

It’d be better than the apartment we’re living in right now

Which

If you remember

Is where I got kidnapped from

DipTipTyrone

I do keep mentioning we can live with the Sheep

KoraTorako

You make a fair point, Bentley But also, this is a house we’re going to be in for a long while

Let’s make it worth it, ok?

Bentley

I

Fine, whatever

KoraTorako

I don’t want us to live here either

If we need to we can, I don’t know, AirDrop an apartment for a couple months

Keep our stuff in the apartment so that we don’t have to move it all immediately

We can make this work, Ben. We can have our steak and eat it too.

…

Bentley?

 -

Appointment Notice

8/03/42

SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2

PROPERTIES: House #7421, House #8577, House #2468, House #1697

START TIME: 12:30, departure from HomeStar Inc. HQ

END TIME: 15:30, departure either from House #1697 or from HomeStar Inc. HQ in best case scenario

Starting with Houses #8577 and #7421 on the very outskirts of Norfolk, we will work our way into the center of town where both House #2468 and #1697 are located. None of the properties have any listed subspace technology integrated into the premises, none of them have magically-powered fences or windows, and only one comes equipped with a stasis fridge. Will make offer to replace fridge with an older but still highly functional device free of charge if the property is accepted.

 -

Client Profile Update

DATE:8/03/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2 [Bentley Farkas, Tyrone Pines]

CLIENT ID: 64239

CLASSIFICATION: Buyer

SPECIFICATIONS: Listed below

…

PROPERTY RECORD:

SSA: Gables, ID 980039385

 House #1212: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Extra-dimensional installations and heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances. [detail: Kitchen Appliances, Cabinetry]

 House #3958: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Extra-dimensional installations and heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances. [detail: Alternative Basement, Windows]

 House # 2249: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Basement wallpaper and house history. [detail: 2950’s owners were heavily involved with the Cult of Futures Past, Decorative Preferences]

 House #4428: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Heavy reliance on Magitech Appliances [detail: InvisiFence surrounding property. Client Farkas refused to cross the boundary, saying “No” nearly immediately. Apparently sensitive to magical energy. Caution moving onwards is advised.]

 House #6609: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Security System installed in the property is incapable of being customized. [detail: Client Lam has expressed that a non-customizable security system is out of the question. Furthermore, Client Farkas expressed discomfort with the Stasis Fridge. Caution moving onwards is advised.]

 House #1033: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: shag carpeting, loud wallpaper, windows too small]

 House #3290: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Security System installed in the property is incapable of being customized.

[detail: Client Lam somehow pieced together the security code engraved around all the doors and windows, researched it, and discovered that the code is unalterable without starting over completely from scratch. IE, a warding expert carefully sanding down the inscribed code and then re-installing it to customer specifications. The House Profile has since been updated. Client Lam has since expressed that she would be open to having an initially insecure home to make secure herself. Uncertain if actually qualified to do such work.]

 House #5533: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Household Electrical Wiring is too reliant on MagiTech. [detail: Client Farkas, again, expressed his distaste with the whole affair immediately upon entering the house by saying, “No,” and walking out again. How he noticed the wiring through solid wall is a mystery for the ages. Sensitivity to magic alone cannot explain it.]

 House #7567: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: Upon seeing the decoratively engraved floorboards up close, Client Pines recoiled and uttered, verbatim, “The day I spend any significant amount of time in this accursed home is the day I lay waste to the whole of humanity.” Apparently the script contains excerpts from the original Twin Souls literature. Housing detail has been accordingly updated.]

 House #2675: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: Apparently, Clients Lam, Farkas, and Pines are not fans of rooster-themed kitchen décor.]

 House #1181: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Basement too reliant on MagiTech and extra-dimensional subspace technology. [detail: The basement was a secret basement. Client Pines stared at the living room floor for an uncomfortably long time before raising his head and telling the SSA, “You might want to be careful opening that.” Property Owner has since been alerted and advised to proceed with caution.]

[UPDATE 7/29: Property has been pulled from the market while police reopen a case and conduct an investigation.]

 House #4482: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Preferences. [detail: 3 bedrooms minimum is non-negotiable and the bathrooms were too cramped]

 House #5319: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Interior did not align with Client Decorative Preferences. [detail: They don’t like the color of the walls. Note to stay away from overly bright greens and yellows in the future.]

 …

[scrolling]

…

 House #5497: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: House Address. [detail: like many other clients before them, the prospects of living at 6969 Dickinson Straightway appear to have caused the clients to decline this particular property.]

 House #9569: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Building Materials not up to Client Standards. [detail: After showing the clients around the property for fifteen minutes, Client Lam hummed, squinted her eyes at the nearest window, and said, “Does that window look like somebody could break through it to you two?” The next five minutes were spent by Clients Lam and Pines discussing the fragility of triple-reinforced glass against various potential weapons, tools, etc {not limited to but including demonic powers, a bazooka, and a thumbtack} while Client Farkas sat down on the floor, put his gloved hands over his face, and muttered a nearly unintelligible “I’m sorry” to presumably the SSA. These clients are hopeless.]

 House #4443: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Pet Flap and Pet Room are too reliant on extra-dimensional subspaces. [detail: Client Farkas stared at the pet flap, turned around, and put his hand on the SSA’s shoulder before saying, “No,” and walking out. Housing information has since been updated to include the unlisted Pet Room.]

 House #3944: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: Unclear. [detail: Client Lam, in the emailed response, simply said, “Look, we’re all tired and this house is too square(?) for {Client Pines}, so we’re just gonna give it a couple days before trying again.”]

[SSA is going to file for a transfer of client.]

 SSA: Pinkflax, ID 980012114

 House #7421: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Distance.

Detail: Too far from nearest transporter station.

SSA Comments: Clients appeared pleased with most aspects of the house. As per SSA Gable’s consultation, Client Lam appears most concerned with matters of household security. Client Farkas is harder to read, due to constantly wearing sunglasses, a hoodie, and a surgical mask despite the weather, but does not hesitate to make his opinions clear. Client Pines is…a mystery.

 House #8577: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Décor, House Layout, Location.

Detail: Housing does not come with security, but the spackled walls and ceiling are apparently difficult to do the variety of warding Client Lam is used to. Layout is, according to Client Pines, confusing. House 8577 is also apparently on the edge of a minor magical hotspot, as Client Farkas has confirmed.

SSA Comments: The difficulty in getting the clients a suitable home is evident. Client Farkas appears to be the biggest wildcard, despite his consistency in what he refuses. There simply does not seem to be a reliable way to ensure that the properties will not set him against them and are simultaneously up to other standards shared by all three clients.

 House #2468: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: House Size, presence of Extra-Dimensional Subspace, Décor.

Detail: At 780m2, the premises were too large for upkeep. While Client Pines seemed to disagree, offering to do more cleaning in exchange for snacks and ice cream, both Client Lam and Client Farkas weren’t convinced enough to ignore the décor (the elaborate crown molding is too “ostentatious” and “creepy,”) and certainly not when the non-disclosed extra-dimensional subspace was discovered in a false wardrobe.

SSA Comments: After the clients left, I investigated. Inside the subspace, kept pristine likely only by the fact that time does not pass quickly within those places, was an additional bed and a luxurious bathroom. The style of bedsheets and drapes indicates that the subspace was installed nearly a century ago, which seems odd seeing as subspaces in those days were unstable and tended to disintegrate. On a different note, this time it was both Clients Pines and Farkas who balked at the presence of the subspace. Take note to pay more attention to reactions in the future, and to survey properties properly before visitations.

 House #1697: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Security System.

Detail: Client Lam disagreed with the validity and effectiveness of the existing security system, and upon a close study of it (25 minutes), declared that it would be too difficult to properly alter and that removal would only be slightly easier.

SSA Comments: I would pay for the removal myself if it made these clients buy the house. There were no other issues with it. Upon my making the offer out loud, Client Lam laughed and said, “No, no, that’s all right! I’d rather find something a little more ready first!”

 House #2292: Declined w/o viewing.

Reasoning: House Layout.

Detail: House is built like a townhome, with a main room and bathroom on each of its 5 levels; Clients professed concern regarding the kitchen being on a separate floor from the living and dining room.

SSA Comments: Unfortunate. The building fit all of their specifications—the security system installed is simple to both customize and remove, there are miraculously no extra dimensional spaces on premises, and the only significant presence of magical technology in the entire property is the mailbox, which can be replaced at a very low cost. We investigated ourselves. Client Lam, their partnership’s point of contact, did say that it was a close call, but that ultimately they would only purchase when completely satisfied.

 House #1357: Viewed, but declined.

Reasoning: Décor.

Detail: Client Pines felt the colors were too ‘smorple’ and ‘floreen’ and several other descriptors that do not appear in any dictionary. When asked if he had noticed the issues when viewing the profile sent to them, he confessed that the colors simply ‘were different in person.’ Client Lam agreed that she didn’t appreciate the tile flooring in the kitchen. Client Farkas was quiet.  

SSA Comments: I hate to admit it, but I know a lost cause when I see one. Do they even want a house?

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: olpink@homestar.com

Attached: ClientRecord64239.qbf

SUBJECT: A Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 7th, 3042

Dearest Qilar,

             I hope that this message finds you well. How is your family doing? I (and Squeakums, for that matter) look forward to our bi-weekly dinner and movie. I know you’ve discussed that the last full moon has left you feeling worn out, and I look forward to relaxing with you for a night.

           I write this message in the hopes that you would be amenable to taking on a client of ours. Unfortunately, we have been incapable of finding a property that would completely satisfy their desires. We have exhausted our listings. I know that you have several properties in Norfolk, and even those close to major terminals outside of Norfolk. I also know that you like a challenge.

           Attached is the client file for your information. Names and personal information have, of course, been redacted. They will be readable upon your agreement to take these clients on. The clients have of course been notified about this possible course of action. Should you decline this case, I would be more than understanding.

 Well wishes to you and yours,

Olive Pinkflax

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBJECT: Welcome to your experience at Lindquist Realtors!

RECEIVED: August 10th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           Hello. My name is Qilar Lindquist. You and I have not had the pleasure of meeting, but I am sure that when we do, it will be wonderful. As you may know, my good friend Mx. Pinkflax conveyed to me their concerns that they didn’t have the property best suited to you in their register. However, with access to a larger company such as Lindquist Realtors, they hoped that you would have more success. If you are still obliging, I am more than happy to take you and your partners on as clients of Lindquist Realtors. It would be thrilling to find you the house you and your partners have been dreaming of. Please respond to this message as soon as you are capable, so that we may begin the process.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 QILAR LINDQUIST

Senior Realtor

hello@qilarlind.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             While not born and raised in Norfolk, Qilar Lindquist has been settled in this fine city for the past 20 years. A born werewolf, Qilar has always wanted to follow his parents’ footsteps. He succeeded as well, opening up a new branch of Lindquist Realtors in Norfolk at the tender age of 28. He studied business, architecture, and chemistry at the University of Des Moines. Intelligent, quick-witted, and charming, Qilar Lindquist is dedicated to serving his clients in any way he can. Outside of work, he is involved with the local community theater and can be found volunteering at various non-profit goodwill organizations around the city. His husband often joins him in these endeavors.  

 Back to Realtor Biographies Homepage

 -

 August 13th, 3042

Chat with Saint Akuapem

6:36 PM

Thank you for the scones the other day. Hepsa enjoyed them.

So did I.

How is house-hunting going?

6:59 PM

Sorry, still working that Thompson case.

Thanks for working with me on it.

And the house hunting’s not going so great.

7:12 PM

Of course. You’re bright. I like hearing your input.

Just not situated to be a public officer of the law.

What with your friend.

7:13 PM

I know.

7:13 PM

I’m sorry to hear it is not going as well as hoped.

Would you like to talk about it?

7:14 PM

The realtor company you recommended couldn’t find anything for us

So we’ve been transferred to another realtor.

7:15 PM

Nothing? Really?

What realtor?

7:15 PM

Yeah, nothing. Lindquist Realtors.

7:16 PM

Hepsa says they are good. You are in good hands.

7:16 PM

Yeah, we had our first house hunting today.

I’m just worried it’s going to go nowhere here as well.

7:18 PM

Sorry for saying but. I find that hard to believe.

You will find a house.

What are your specifications?

7:19 PM

Ummm 3 BR 2 BTH Defs LDK

450-600 SQM

Garden with like 100-200 SQM?

No Magitech if possible, no exdim subspaces at all

Security system gotta be customizable or not there at all

We can be a little picky with décor sometimes

And house gotta be sturdy

There’s probably something else

7:26 PM

I see.

That would be difficult.

Are you willing to compromise on anything?

7:27 PM

Price. I put down 350k but if it gets me the house I want

Then I’ll pay more.

7:27 PM

Understood.

Where are you staying now?

7:27 PM

Still in the apartment

Got the lease to finish

Hate it but until we have somewhere else

7:29 PM

…how is Bentley?

7:29 PM

He’s stressed.

With the house, and being here

He’s always having nightmares

So tired all the time

Insists on going to work though and I cant talk him out of it

I want to get a house for him

But I don’t want him to have to deal with all the shit he is in the apartment

He doesn’t see himself as important enough to take care of, sometimes

So I have to take that into account

7:32 PM

What exactly is going on, Torako?

How is Bentley not taking care of himself?

7:32 PM

Like, it’s not that I don’t understand where hes coming from

I get that I might be being a bit unreasonable

But he keeps saying ‘oh I can just DEAL with having an exdim subspace in the house’

‘never mind that it’s a huge trigger for all my trauma’

‘and that I sometimes cant stop looking at it just to make sure its still there and im still on the reality side of things’

‘ill just wear my magic-cancelling glasses all the time’

‘and be unable to sleep from the headache’

‘it’s not that big of a deal, torako, let’s have the magitech here that hurts to look at too much’

‘who cares, it’s just a fridge torako!! Not like it was used to TRANSPORT ME to a FOREIGN COUNTRY so that a MADMAN could CONDUCT EXPERIMENTS ON ME to the point that I almost took FATALLY DRASTIC ACTION’

He keeps saying he’ll just put up with his trauma like it’s a minor inconvenience!!

And he shouldn’t have to do that.

Not in a house that’s our own.

7:36 PM

Bentley was what now.

7:36 PM

Oh right

You didn’t know that part

7:36 PM

You went to get him.

7:36 PM

of course

I love him

7:36 PM

Therapy?

7:36 PM

Bentley? Yeah.

Hell of an NDA.

7:37 PM

No, you.

7:37 PM

She’s the only other person who knows everything.

Like, everything everything.

wait what?

7:37 PM

Torako.

I think you’re not doing as well as you think you are.

7:37 PM

Bentley was tortured

I wasnt

7:38 PM

I’ll believe you on that.

But you still devoted yourself to finding him.

And he was tortured, and you have to deal with the consequences of that too.

7:38 PM

???

7:39 PM

You sound stressed, Torako.

And scared.

7:39 PM

Maybe a little

But Bentleys more important rn

7:40 PM

I would say you’re both equally important.

Sorry, Torako, Hepsa is calling me; we’re going to a late night movie.

I’ll keep my eye out for you.

7:40 PM

OK

Thank you

I really appreciate it

 -

 Client Profile Update

DATE:8/15/42

CLIENT: Torako Lam +2 [Bentley Farkas, Tyrone Pines]

CLIENT ID: IMP64239

CLASSIFICATION: Buyer

CAUTION: PICKY, SPECIFIC, UNCOMPROMISING

SPECIFICATIONS: Listed below

…

LINDQUIST REALTORS PROPERTY RECORD:

SSA: Lindquist, ID 109A854D

…

…

NEW UPDATES 8/15/42

 HOUSE ID: 798A 209X

ADDRESS: 389 West Hampton Drive

SELLER: Mx. Adelaide Hanson

STATUS: DECLINED

NOTES: Unfortunately, despite attempts to the contrary, the clients were not impressed with the security system. We discussed it at length at Lindquist Realtors and felt it sufficient, but Client Lam insisted quite sternly that she needed to have full control over the system. RapierSolutions is a top of the line system. I tried to convey that to Client Lam, but she refused to hear sense. “I need to be able to alter it,” she said. “If I can’t alter it, it’s a no-go—especially with those weak windows and the shallow hinges on the entryways.” Mx. Pinkflax was not kidding around when they said Client Lam was a bit controlling over safety specifications. Possible paranoia?

 HOUSE ID: 665D 187L

ADDRESS: 9821 NW 4736 PL

SELLER: Mr. and Ms. Nakatani

STATUS: DECLINED, INACTIVE

NOTES: We combed the premises for subspaces personally. Nevertheless, Client Farkas quietly pointed out that there was a secret bunker hidden under the premises, and that it spanned the entire property. While he hastened to assure us that it wouldn’t be that much of an issue, Client Lam overheard and insisted that they wouldn’t buy any property with extradimensional subspaces. When Client Farkas attempted to tell his partner that they weren’t going to use that garden gate anyways, Client Lam shut him down. Client Pines also wandered over from where he was inspecting the brick wall of the garden, said “This place might be cursed,” and waved his partners cheerily off of the premises.

Upon notifying the authorities as required by law that there may or may not be a curse on the premises, the police shut down the premises. Any attempt to contact Mr. and Mrs. Nakatani beyond alerting them to the existence of the subspace has been unsuccessful.

UPDATE: the extradimensional basement is now the scene of a crime. 665D 187L is now under government jurisdiction.

 HOUSE ID: 278K 396V

ADDRESS: 421 Wildstar Avenue

SELLER: Mr. Fegelhorn and Mr. Gil

STATUS: DECLINED

NOTES: Client Lam, predictably, criticized the ‘astounding lack of security’ in the warding system, the ‘structural instability’ of a perfectly good cellar window, and the presence of a stasis fridge on the premises. Client Farkas was silent. Client Pines said that he ‘liked the staircase’ but that the upstairs bathroom tub was ‘too small for his preferences.’ Naturally, the clients declined the home.

 HOUSE ID: 525P 792S

ADDRESS: 98 Maplefarm S. Street

SELLER: Mrs. Polinski

STATUS: DECLINED, INACTIVE

NOTES: Surprisingly, it was not Client Lam or Client Farkas who had reason to decline the property. This is probably because Client Pines, five steps past the garden gate, hissed and bodily hauled his partners away from the grounds. When asked what the matter was, he snarled out in the most terrifying voice something about unquestionable evil and the screams of the undead. As required by Law, we have notified the authorities.

UPDATE: Property is now under police jurisdiction. Norfolk Government Demonologists and Exorcists evacuated the entire block for a full 48 hours. It seems Mrs. Polinski was being possessed by a terribly old demon, Hyutgen the Voracious and had been for an undetermined amount of time.

What is up with these Clients and finding horrific crime scenes?

-

August 15th, 3042

Chat with Handsome <3 <3 <3

5:28 PM

Darling, what’s up?

You seem to be staying late at the agency today

As of late, really.

Is it The Clients?

5:57 PM

I’m so sorry.

Yes, it is.

This is much more difficult than anticipated.

Olive called it a challenge and I was foolish enough to think I had it in the bag.

The Clients are insatiable.

There’s always something wrong with the properties. Always.

And they keep uncovering properties as crime scenes??

6:03 PM

I’m so sorry darling.

6:03 PM

I don’t know if I can do this anymore, Bayani.

I’m so tired.

I’ve shown them over 30 properties, personally.

6:04 PM

Do you want to talk it out?

I can get your favorite dinner together

We can curl up on the couch

Put on some Strandson

6:05 PM

You know what?

Yeah.

Yeah, that sounds nice.

I’ll be home in 10 minutes.

6:06 PM

See you soon <3

6:06 PM

<3 <3

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBKECT: Realtor Change Notification

RECEIVED: August 16th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           My apologies in advance for the contents of this email, though I hope it finds you well. Unfortunately, due to my position as head of company, I am unable to continue being your Realtor. I have transferred you to the care of one of my very capable senior agents. Mx. Ya-en. I hope that you understand, and that Mx. Ya-en can see to your needs better than I have.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 HARLEY YA-EN

Senior Realtor

hello@harleyyaen.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             Harley Ya-en, despite xir elderly age of 84, is one of Lindquist Realtor’s most capable senior Realtors. A psychic who can read auras, Harley Ya-en is capable of anticipating the client’s needs and emotions. This allows Mx. Ya-en practical insight into which properties will suit a buying client’s needs. Xe also has a wealth of knowledge regarding the Norfolk area due to living here for the past 50 years, and is a font of trivia sure to satisfy the most curious of souls. Xe lives with xir husband and wife, and enjoys taking road trips—

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Holy fucking shit you do not pay me enough for this. You have to transfer them. I cannot work with these clients.

Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Harley,

           What happened?? What did they do??

 Qilar

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           They didn’t do anything in particular. They’re just impossible clients—I’m thinking it’s not even their fault, entirely—and I have read their file. Even with that, I was hesitantly down for the challenge until I saw their auras and interacted with them today. I am Not Doing It. I am too old for this. Give me another assignment.

 Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Harley,

           I’m sorry, I need more explanation than this to take you off immediately. I handled a week. So can you. You can’t use your age as an excuse all the time.

 Qilar

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: harleyyaen@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: LOL NO

RECEIVED: August 17th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Fine: here it is.

           I only got the two Clients. Client Pines was, as they said, out on important business, who knows when he’ll be back. Something was fishy about that but okay, I won’t pry, and these two are setting me off on edge a little as is so maybe it’s just that.

           Then the more I interact with them, the more I realize that Client Farkas’s aura is just fucking weird. Bananapants, CocoNutPuffs, whatever you want to call it. It’s all muddled and patchy and a headache and a half to read. It’s like somebody took his aura, threw out most of it, and stuffed a bunch of excess aura in to fill the gaps. There’s no way he was born like that, and there’s no way whatever happened was pretty (or probably even painless). He’s definitely trying, though, so I figured aight, we’ll see if we can’t compromise with this whippersnapper.

           The problem is Client Lam.

           Client Lam doesn’t want to be pleased. Client Lam, for whatever reason, is terrified. And overprotective of Client Farkas. And she’s absolutely looking for reasons to be disappointed, or she’s at least seeing shadows where there are none. We could present Client Lam with a fortress and she wouldn’t be satisfied. My bet is that whatever happened to Farkas’s aura was traumatizing, and Lam was impacted by that trauma. I showed her two viable properties at excellent prices with wonderful locations and an astounding lack of extradimensional pockets or Magitech gadgets, and she found fault with them. Neither were crime scenes, thankfully.

           You may want to assign them with somebody who has experience—but you could also use this opportunity to show some junior realtors how tough clients can be. Also, the junior realtors might not be so entrenched in the practice, and they could have some excellent ideas.

           Or you could just…send these clients to somebody else. Your choice. I’m just not dealing with it. They’ll drive me into an early grave if I take this too seriously, and you know how I get.

 Sincerely,

Harley

 -

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@amarshir.org

SUBJECT: Realtor Change Notification

RECEIVED: August 18th, 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           Hello! What a pleasure it is to meet you. I’m writing to inform you that unfortunately, Mx. Ya-en is unable to continue handling your case. The upside is that I am able to do so in xir stead! My name is Amar Shirvani, and I’m going to be handling your case from now on. I’m excited to work with you and your partners, and hope that you are as excited to work with me! I promise I will do my best to help you achieve your housing dreams!

 Yours,

Amar Shirvani

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 AMAR SHIRVANI

Junior Realtor

hello@amarshir.org

Phone  Lindquist Realtors Homepage

Alternative Display Options

             Native to Norfolk, Amar Shirvani is the youngest member of Lindquist Realtors at 22 years old. He recently graduated from the Offet University of Business with honors. While not the most experienced, Amar brings exuberance and creative thinking to the team at Lindquist Realtors. He has been involved with volunteer work from early childhood due to his parents—

 -

 TweetyFlaps Trending

#clientwoes

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself

@Silverforks

So I’ve got a kind of sort of customer service job, right. And so far it’s been fine! I’ve had ok clients. And then Bossman slides me a paunchy one cross the table and I start to understand #clientwoes for the first awful real time. 1/ 10:48 AM        23 AUG 3042

______________________________________________________________________

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

2/ i know from the start its gonna be a Ride. Like, chalk and candles intensity. Client file is thicc w/rejected properties (im in housing). But I’m game!! Im always game, you know me haha. Unfortunately… 10:50 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

3/ these are clients from hell. I wouldn’t be surprised if they were actually demons in disguise. Here to torture me. For something. I aint actually ever summoned nothing. But like, it’s unreal how BAD this exp has been. 10:51 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

4/ for 1, they all look normal expt one of them. Head to toe, covered. Would think was vampire, but that’s usu specified in reports. Nobody’s seen his skin other than flashes. Aight, tho, I aint prejudiced, i’ll roll with it. 10:53 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

5/ so they super picky clients, right. I thought nah, they cant be that bad!! Just haven’t hooked the right worm yet. So I pick out a coupla worms (houses) that I think they might enjoy and hoo boy was that a chore, but im satisfied! Spoiler: they aint. 10:56 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

6/ they aint never gon be satisfied. #1, not-vampire client mentions v v quietly to me that sorry, theres a thing he cant deal with on premises, but mb they can still keep it in mind?? But (super good hearing???) another client hears and squawks about it. he aint having it, apparently.   10:58 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

7/ and then third client (Harpy) hears bc squawk, and she SUPER aint having it, so we just go to the next house. And the next one. And—u get it already.   10:59 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

8/ and like, im patient. Im pretty lowkey. But today’s house was—perfect?? There was nothing wrong with it. Client Hoodie didn’t say nothing bad. Liked the rooms. Client EllieEars don’t complain bout no weird curses or dead bodies or bad décor. But Client Harpy?? Client Harpy is impossible. 11:02 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

9/ u kno what she said?? She said, and I repeat: the front door is too thin.

The front door. Which is a solid 5 cm of wood (real!! Wood!!). is too thin. It’s “Insecure”. 11:03 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

10/11 I didn’t say it bc im a good worker, but I really wanted to go off on her. She’s impossible. This is the worst assignment ever. Ive worked so hard my soul’s gonna feel it 5 carnations down.   11:05 AM        23 AUG 3042

 world aint gonna end til I end it myself                            

Replying to @Silverforks

11/11 srsly. 5 cm of solid wood!! Insecure. Unbelievable. #clientwoes 11:05 AM        23 AUG 3042

 -

 August 23rd  

Bentley

Sally Mihn at work sent me this.

You might want to take a look.

https://tweetyflap.com/silverforks/status/1199679934986810752

 DipTipTyrone

oh boy

that’s about us alright

 Bentley

Yeah

It is

Torako

We need to have a fucking talk

 KoraTorako

We do need to have a talk with the realtors

That’s unacceptable

 Bentley

What we need to do with the realtors is apologize

What we three need to do is discuss what the fuck we’re doing

 KoraTorako

No, that was completely unprofessional

And what do you mean, what are we doing?? We’re looking for a house.

 DipTipTyrone

I’ll take care of the tweets for a pack of gummies

 Bentley

No, Dipper

Torako

We have been house-hunting for a month

We have looked at over 200 houses by this point

 KoraTorako

Thanks dip but probs not

 Bentley

And you have said no

To all

Of them

We need to fucking compromise

 KoraTorako

Compromise on what?? Our safety?? Our comfort?

 Bentley

No, on your unachievable standards

 DipTipTyrone

Oh

Oh no

 KoraTorako

Who says they unachievable??

 Bentley

The 200+ houses we’ve looked at to dismiss out of hand!

 DipTipTyrone

This is a fight, isn’t it

 KoraTorako

I’m just making sure that whatever we get will be safe!

 Bentley

Most of them HAVE been safe!

You’re just being STUPIDLY overprotective!

 DipTipTyrone

oh no im the

im the middle party aren’t i

 KoraTorako

I am not!

 Bentley

Yes you are! You need to trust me to make choices for myself!!

 KoraTorako

Well, I would if you weren’t so insistent on ignoring your own wellbeing!

 DipTipTyrone

How does one mediate

 Bentley

I’m just trying to find a fucking house! I’m trying to meet them in the middle!

 KoraTorako

Not on that you shouldn’t!

 Bentley

It’s MY choice!

 KoraTorako

And it’s MINE TOO!

You shouldn’t be in an environment that causes you to have so many fucking nightmares!

Like you are NOW

 DipTipTyrone

Uuuhhh shit shit shit um

You’re both right and both wrong?

 Bentley

Love you, but Shut up dip

And maybe I’m having nightmares because we’re still in this fucking apartment

 KoraTorako

I told you we could stay at another Rental until we found a house!

And shut up dip, im the right one here

 Bentley

You’re the right one???

We can’t solve everything with money, Torako!! And at the pace we’re going, we’d be in that rental place until our current lease is up Next January

 DipTipTyrone

…maybe this is an in-person convo?

 KoraTorako

I just want our house to be safe!! What if something happens again?

 Bentley

It won’t fucking happen again! Fantino was a one-off. I haven’t pissed off any other researchers overly invested in their research lately!

 DipTipTyrone

What about that one guy at work?

Wait no ignore that

 KoraTorako

But it MIGHT! We! Don’t! Know for sure!!

 Bentley

We don’t know that it WILL happen, Torako!

You need to just let this stupid fucking paranoia go

 DipTipTyrone

Uh

 KoraTorako

Stupid?? Fucking paranoia??

 DipTipTyrone

Bentley that was not uh

Not good

 KoraTorako

It’s not paranoia if it could happen again. It happened once.

I can’t forget that, Bentley. I can’t forget going to open that door and finding it unlocked. I can’t forget opening the apartment to you being gone, and to the wards being destroyed, and to everything I thought was keeping us safe not actually keeping us safe.

I’m not doing that, Ben.

The house we’re getting?? Is going to be fucking safe, and I am going to make it that way.

 DipTipTyrone

Torako…

 Bentley

Look, I get that

But there were ways of making the houses we looked at safe that you weren’t willing to entertain.

That one, with the green roof and the cute staircase?? That was totally viable. We absolutely could have torn the security system out with no trouble.

We literally have Dipper to do that for us.

But you said no! Like you said no to the one with the nice garden, and the one with the really big open windows.

I just want a house, Torako.

It’s not even like we’re necessarily going to live here forever? So if it’s not perfect, I’m ok. I just want somewhere to live that’s not the apartment.

 KoraTorako

And I just want us to be safe, Bentley.

I cant do this right now.

I have to go.

 DipTipTyrone

Is it over?

…fuck it isn’t, is it.

Fuck.

 -

To: hello@qilarlind.org

From: tora@lam.com

SUBJECT: Important

RECEIVED: August 23rd 3042

 Dear Mr. Lindquist,

           Hello. I’m writing to inform you that one of your employees—I’m assuming our current agent, Mr. Amar Shirvani—vented about my partners and I on a public forum. Here is the link: https://tweetyflap.com/silverforks/status/1199679934986810752

           While I understand that we have not been very accommodating clients—myself particularly—I don’t believe that this appropriate behavior. Venting is important, but the place where Mr. Shirvani chose to express his frustrations wasn’t the right one. Please convey this to him for me.

           I don’t want him to lose his job. He’s young and hasn’t learned this particular lesson yet. But I also find myself hesitant to keep working with Mr. Shirvani. Would you be willing to either transfer us to another realtor, or recommend us to another company like Mx. Pinkflax did? I would really appreciate it.

 Sincerely,

Torako Lam

Private Investigator

.

-

 To: tora@lam.com

From: hello@qilarlind.org

SUBJECT: RE: Important

RECEIVED: August 24th 3042

 Dear Ms. Lam,

           I’m very sorry to hear about what Mr. Shirvani did. We’ve discussed the incident and he understands the impropriety of his actions. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

           While I believe that we have exhausted our properties here at Lindquist Realtors, I am happy to recommend you to a few other businesses in the Norfolk Area. They’re smaller, but perhaps they have the specific kind of property that you are looking for. I will do my best to put in a good word for you. Should that fail, I will personally endeavor to find you the house you need.

 Sincerely,

Qilar Lindquist

Lindquist Realtors

 -

 August 24th

Chat with Reynash Pines

11:01 AM

Hey Reynash

Can I ask you a question?

11:02 AM

What a surprise to hear from you via text!

Usually you just pop in and scare my soul out of my chest.

But for your question-- please ask

There’s nothing to do at work at the moment.

11:02 AM

Wouldn’t you usually leave?

Or have things changed again without me realizing it?

11:03 AM

Oh no, normally I would

But I have an appointment at 11:45 that I have to stick around for.

What’s your question?

11:04 AM

Torako and Bentley are fighting over housing.

We’ve told you about the house-hunting, right?

11:04 AM

Oh dear. Yes, I know.

Why are they fighting?

11:05 AM

Trauma. I think. They didn’t say themselves.

But I think it’s trauma.

Anyways, that’s not the important part.

What’s important is how do I help them?

11:06 AM

From the incident back around May?

Oh dear.

Are you sure that’s not the important part?

11:06 AM

Mostly.

Anyway. I just need to know how to mediate.

I haven’t mediated in…

In forever?

I can’t remember.

11:07 AM

…why are you even asking me?

11:07 AM

Because not many people know me as me

And you’re one of the only people who has known me as me for a significant amount of time and are also NOT ben or tora

And also you’re pretty calm mostly except when I show up and scare you

11:09 AM

Well

In my defense, I think most people would be scared if you showed up out of thin air and yelled strange things like WHAT YOU CRAVIN or whatever.

11:10 AM

Are you…sassy?

11:10 AM

Possibly

Back to your predicament: mediating

Have Bentley and Torako been able to talk to each other in person about this?

11:11 AM

No :(

They’ve been very quiet around each other at home.

And Bentley’s going on a trip soon.

So they won’t have a chance for a while.

Do they have to??

11:12 AM

It’s just easier to mediate when you’re all there.

Basically

They have to have the conversation, right?

Your job as mediator is to make sure they stay on task

And that no thoughtlessly cruel words are said.

11:12 AM

So they can say mean things

But they can’t mean the mean things?

11:13 AM

Okay, let me rephrase:

They’re mad at each other. They might say mean things that just hurt each other. Words that are meant to hurt each other.

They should not do that.

That does not help the conversation.

11:13 AM

Oh

Hm

So if one says the other is being stupidly paranoid

That’s where I say no, stop?

11:13 AM

Right.

11:14 AM

And if the other says one is being needlessly reckless with his own mental health

That’s where I say no, stop?

11:14 AM

Er

Maybe not, depending

Is he being needlessly reckless with his own mental health?

11:14 AM

I don’t know? Maybe? How do I tell?

11:15 AM

I can’t believe I’m saying this but

We might need to have this conversation face to face.

Please come he0-awekjhwel

11:39 AM

And remember what we discussed

And the pamphlets I sent you

And also please remind Torako and Bentley that Lata would like to see them sometime next month if they’re able to.

11:39 AM

Thanks Ray!

I really appreciate everything

Sorry for making you scream!

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: simonkhoo@khoohootrealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 25th, 3042

 Dear Qilar Lindquist

           Thank you very much for the request. I’m honored that you would consider sending us clients that you yourself could not satisfy. It honestly instills an incredible, renewed sense of capability in us here at Khoohoo Realtors.

           Upon viewing the file you sent, however, one of my junior realtors raised concerns that these particular clients may be too difficult for a firm of our moderate size to adequately deal with. Between yourselves and HomeStar Realtors, these three clients weren’t satisfied. That, to us, is a bit of a red flag. We reviewed their specifications in comparison to our own catalogue, but don’t believe we have anything that they would be interested in actually buying. Therefore, in the interest of saving everybody a great deal of time and energy, I must admit that we cannot at this time take on your clients.

 Have an excellent day,

Simon Khoo

Head of Khoohoo Realtors

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: lancefraiser@dreamhomerealtors.com

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 25th, 3042

 Dear Qilar Lindquist

             Thank you very much for this request.

           Unfortunately, we don’t have the time or patience for clients that would require a great deal of energy. From the looks of the file you attached, that seems to be the case with these clients. Therefore, in short, no.

 Yours,

Lance Fraiser

Senior Realtor

DreamHome Realtors

 -

 To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

From: naitafellen@redfinrealtors.com

Attachment: 2042-PoliceRecoverKidnappedManwithHelpFromCivillian.qbf

SUBJECT: RE: Professional Request

RECEIVED: August 27th, 3042

 Qilar,

           Long time no talk, friend!! Wow it’s been a while, I guess we’ve both been busy. I know this is a professional request and all, but we should get drinks or something!! I hear there’s a great alfree bar that’s just opened up downtown. Apparently it has killer drinks, and it of course it doesn’t have alcoholic stuff so you’re good to drink whatever.

           I took a look at the client rec you sent me, and hoo boy they’ve sure got a record! RedFin usually takes whatever, and you know that, but I don’t actually think we can get them anything?? I’d feel bad chucking properties at them that I know they won’t like. I think they’ve already checked out like three quarters of Norfolk lol. Talk about trying to summon with a broom and a lighter!

           Also, they really remind me of this one tweety I read recently? Oof, if that was one of your kiddos who posted it, you should really tell them that’s a bad call—both for them and the clients. These clients aren’t going to get anything in Norfolk, not with that popular tweety paired with that record. And if it gets out that your kiddo was the one that posted that??? Aint nobody gonna hire them, not with all this client confidentiality and all at stake. Gotta be careful what you post online, even when it is venting.

           Yo, but hey, hope you find somebody for these clients! They seem like they got some scary baggage. The one who nopes around magitec and exdims reminds me of something I read in the news a while ago—it was an article that was hushed down p quickly out of respect for the victim, but I still got the doc. I’ve attached it if you want to read! It might even help you figure stuff out with your clients, even if they aren’t the same.

 Let’s meet up for drinks sometime!

Naita Fellen

Owner of RedFin Realtors, Norfolk

Senior Realtor

 -

 August 27th

KoraTorako

I just received an email from Qilar that he’s going to continue to handle our case, but that it may take a while to comb through what properties they have left.

I said it was fine because Bentley’s off on a trip.

 DipTipTyrone

Great!!

This seems like a good time to have a heart to heart, don’t you think?

 KoraTorako

I, uh, what?

 DipTipTyrone

Bentley’s doing nothing right now! Bentley, talk

Bentley, talk or I’ll make you talk.

Bentley I know you’re at your hotel.

 Bentley

Oh my stars dip

What??

 DipTipTyrone

You guys argued a lot last time we really had a discussion

And you’re angry

And you need to talk about why you’re angry

So that you have a healthy conclusion to your argument

And so that you understand each other’s viewpoints better.

It’s important!

 KoraTorako

But why…now?

 DipTipTyrone

Because you sent that message

And I’m sure Bentley’s feeling vicious about it

 Bentley

No I’m not!

 DipTipTyrone

Yes you are

I can see your aura, and while it’s difficult to read, you’re very dlskajlkwjelkjewnsd;nlab

Aslkdjgwaelkl;kwa;ljk

Dlkjaw-000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

 KoraTorako

What the fuck

 DipTipTyrone

You can’t take my phone away from me!! Ha! I win!

 Bentley

You can’t just half slide through the wall so that I can’t tell you’ve blipped in!

What the hell??

 KoraTorako

Okay okay so youre serious about this

Fine

What do you want us to talk about

 DipTipTyrone

Your feelings, I guess?

Like, Bentley. Tell us how you feel about Torako’s latest message.

 Bentley

You’re not my therapist

 DipTipTyrone

No, but we’re family

Which means communication

So tell us.

 Bentley

Uuuuuggghhh

Fine

Torako, that email proves why it was stupid to just dismiss all the properties as soon as we saw them and I feel vindicated but also tired

 DipTipTyrone

Hey, um, you gotta cut all the negativity against the other person out of your message

Try again!

 Bentley

…

The email proves that it was wrong to dismiss the properties without really thinking further about them. I feel vindicated. I feel tired.

Happy?

 DipTipTyrone

Better!

Torako, your turn!

 KoraTorako

Oh my stars are we really doing this

This is so stupid

 DipTipTyrone

Do it

 Bentley

Yeah tora, do it

If I have to, so do you

 KoraTorako

Fine

I’m just tired, ok?? This has taken so much longer than I thought it would. And I know I’m at fault for some of it!!

But I’m sick of Bentley falling to the pressure of ‘picking’ because it’s what’s expected of us. I don’t want him to feel scared or uncertain or uncomfortable in whatever house we pick, even if we’re only there for a couple years until we can pay off the place.

 DipTipTyrone

Thank you Torako! I don’t see any unnecessarily hostile language in there, so that’s A-OK, you pass. Bentley?

 Bentley

I just feel bad because everybody’s trying so hard

And we’re being so hard on them

And sometimes I just don’t understand why you reject the houses? So what that the security system isn’t perfect. I don’t mind going to the effort of pulling it out and starting it again. Heck, I would pay Dip to do it easy!

 KoraTorako

But that’s not your problem

That’s a me problem

I just…I want it to be good from the beginning. I want it to work from the start so that we don’t have to worry about it.

 Bentley

But that’s not going to happen

Sometimes you have to work to make something work for you

And if we gotta do that

I’m fine with it

 KoraTorako

I…I guess

I’m still not completely comfortable with that

 Bentley

We can work on it together

And hey

If I promise to not say yes to houses that make me uncomfortable will you promise to give things like security systems and house integrity a chance?

Like, not dismiss them immediately?

 KoraTorako

…yeah. I can do that, I think.

 DipTipTyrone

Good!! I’m glad we had this discussion

You know, I’m a pretty great mediator!

 Bentley

Dipper I watched you leaf through those pamphlets during the discussion

But yeah

Thank you, dipper

 KoraTorako

Thank you, dipper <3

 Bentley

He’s blushing!!

Compliment him more

 DipTipTyrone

No!

Stop ganging up on me!

 KoraTorako

You’re so cute, Dips!!

 Bentley

The cutest

Aw, he’s glowing

 DipTipTyrone

I should have let you keep fighting

 -

 August 29th, 3042

Chat with Saint Akuapem

4:12 PM

Torako, how are you?

Hepsa says hello

Are you still looking for houses?

4:15 PM

Yeah, we are

Say hello back for me

I’m ok, but a bit tired.

4:15 PM

Excellent

A parent of one of Hepsa’s students mentioned that their mother passed away recently

And that they were willing to sell the property

It seems the mother was afflicted with a curse that prevented her from using most Magitech

And she didn’t trust extra-dimensional spaces

It was a family home, so there are 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a nice garden.

Would you be interested in looking at it?

4:17 PM

Are you fucking serious.

Yes please, a thousand times yes

When can we look?

4:18 PM

Let me ask Hepsa to ask for me.

4:49 PM

Would you be available tomorrow afternoon?

3:30 PM.

 4:51 PM

Oh gosh oh yes

What’s the address?

4:51 PM

Just meet me at our apartment.

We will walk you over.

4:51 PM

Officer you really are a saint

I could kiss you

4:52 PM

Bring some more of those brownies. It’ll be even then.

 -

 “So? What do you think?”

           Torako trailed her fingers across the mantle for the fireplace. It was a real one; apparently, pure electric fireplaces were hell to install and more hell to maintain. There were no runes carved into the rough brick, no faint thrum of magic that Torako could now pick up if she closed her eyes and concentrated really, really hard.

           The whole house had very little by the way of magic.

           “It’s…” Torako looked down at the fireplace proper. It had been cleaned, recently, shiny in the way that old things gleam when properly taken care of. The house had been loved, she was sure of it. “It’s not bad.”

           A touch to her elbow. She looked over at Bentley, whose eyebrows were quirked. “Torako. Please. Be honest.”

           She hummed, turned to lean against the mantle and look out the big windows that provided a view of the garden space. Unmaintained, a little wild. They could put a vegetable patch there, she thought. Maybe a couple fruit trees.

           “I’m not a fan of the front porch steps,” she said, “or the ramp. It’s a bit rickety.”

           “We can fix it up,” Bentley said. He paused, tilted his head, then gave her a sly little grin. “Or at least, we know somebody who works cheap for that kind of thing.”

           “Hey, you can’t let me hear that,” Dipper said from the other room, where he was laying flat on the ground with his ear to the floorboards. “My prices might go up.”

           “Is it all good over there?” Bentley asked in lieu of answering. Torako looked up at the ceiling, where runes or wards or protective magics would be. Magics that would be hers, so they would hurt less to Bentley’s sensitive eye.

           “No creepy basements filled with cadavers or slaughtered cultmembers, if that’s what you’re asking,” Dipper said. Thankfully, Illya had left them to look over her dead mother’s home one last time, so there were no surprised gasps or queer glances. “Though we may want a couple rugs. I think this floor gets cold in the wintertime.”

           “Windowpanes are a little thin,” she muttered to herself. Her fingers tapped against her leg. “Could stand to be a bit more reinforced—though the French doors are probably okay, they seem sturdy enough—”

           “Torako.”

           Bentley’s warm hand slid over the one on her leg. Torako looked at him again. He peered at her over the rims of his oversized sunglasses, golden eye shimmering just a little. “Is there anything seriously wrong with this place? Anything that can’t be fixed?”

           Torako pressed her lips together. The aching anxiety in her chest pressed against her sternum. She tried to ignore it, and the thoughts of shadowy figures cutting through the glass panes, burning through the front door, squeezing through the cracks in the floorboards to steal Bentley away from—

           “Hey,” Bentley said, soft.

           “Hey,” Dipper said, a little brighter and brasher. He took her hand in his human hand. “We’re here, okay?”

           Torako turned her head to Dipper, brown eyes crinkled at the edges (and when had he put wrinkles on?) and grin still just a little too wide for human mouths to stand. She took a deep breath, and exhaled.

           “No,” she said. Bentley inhaled, sharp. “No, not no no! I just meant, ugh, there’s nothing I don’t like about this house that can’t be fixed. That no. Not the ‘let’s not do this’ no.”

           Both of her boys relaxed on either side of her. “Yeah,” Bentley said. “Yeah, I thought this was a good one, too.”

           She twisted her hand in theirs so that she could hold them.

           “Plus, it’s like, dirt cheap,” Dipper said. “Who knew that buying a house without a Realtor handling fee would result in such a bargain?”

           “Okay,” Torako said, a grin starting to pull at the corners of her mouth. The sunlight from the window was warm against her feet, reaching up to soothe the phantom pains in her shins from all those months ago. “Let’s tell Ilya.”

           It would be a good home.

 -

To: olpink@homestar.com

From: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

SUBJECT: FWD: Thank you for your help

RECEIVED: August 31st, 3042

I don’t know whether to be furious or relieved. Mostly I’m just tired.

You up for dinner tonight?

Qilar

 >>To: hello@qilarlind.org

>>From: tora@lam.com

>>Attached: NewHouse+US.png

>>SUBJECT: Thank you for your help

>>RECEIVED: August 31st, 3042

>> 

>>Dear Mr. Lindquist,

           >> I email you to thank you so much for all your assistance. I don’t think we would have gotten as far as we did without you. Due to this journey, my partners and I realized some very important things.

           >>As you might have realized based on the name of the attachment, my partners and I have found a house through one of our acquaintances! It was lovely and off-market, and I probably wouldn’t have said no if it weren’t for our experiences with everybody at Lindquist Realtors and HomeStar Realtors. Thank you so much for your time and effort and energy, and I hope that you have a chance to relax now that we’re out of your hair.

>> 

>>Thank you again,

>>Torako Lam

>>Private Investigator

 -

 From: olpink@homestar.com

To: qilarlindquist@lindquistrealtors.com

 Qilar,

           What the fuck, even. Truly. What the fuck.

           I’ll bring the sparkling apple cider.

Olive

[sabasama]

Some ramblings I just had to get off my chest

Like let's talk real stuff here. Bakugou feels (felt) threatened by Deku.

Bakugou, at a young age, was given a scale "I'm 100 and deku is 0" but deku never acted like 0. Deku kept trying, kept proving him wrong, and it infuriated him so much because: it made him feel inferior. Here was the epitome of failure, working hard to beat him, and that was an insult to Bakugou. It was a personal offense, and THIS IS cANON he literally thought deku was FUCKING W HIM he thought deku was laughing behind his back like he was a huge joke!!!

The kid just has an inferiority complex fueled by his childhood and his inflated ego!!! He's disappointed in himself!!!! He thinks he's failed and people are laughing at him!!!! He's embarrassed of himself for having such a big fucking head about it all!!!!!!!!! HE'S ASHAMED!!!!

And this is the best part!!!

Katsuki realizes he's been wrong this whole time. He accepts it, whether he outwardly shows it or not (coughcough advice scene during suspension, coughcough entire babysitting arc coughcough telling deku to pick up the slack cough).

What a fucking transformation in like, what, two years? He's still a salty ass fucker, bless that boy, but he's getting back on his feet. Thanks to Deku and his meddlesome ass.

And let's not forget Deku... Deku i'm-gonna-be-a-fucking-hero-whether-u-dig-it-or-not-kacchan. This boy baffles me, if I'm being one-hundered pa-a-se-n-to honest. I would've dropped that salty ass boy ages ago. Then again, I'm not saintly shounen manga protag material so, yeah.

Heart-of-gold Midoriya Izuku. Who put ur pure soul on this tainted planet??? I can hear Christine in the background singing "god give me courage" every time he has to deal with Katsuki.

Listen y'all!!!! This kid doesn't take shit!!! Enough of that crap. He ain't a pushover. Y'all think Katsuki was the only one who fucked w him in middle school? Have you ever met a middle schooler???? If they're not sneering at you about the simplest things like your Payless sneakers, they're throwing shade just by completely ignoring your existence. As an adult now, hah middle schoolers are fucking stupid. As a middle schooler? That shit was awful. It was horrible to be made fun of, to have people laugh at you, to have no one come to your rescue. In middle school, Izuku had no one, and the one person he thought he had didn't accept him.

And that's that. That's middle school. AND EVEN THEN, the fucker still does wild shit like dive head-first into a situation that will 92.3% cost him his fucking life. Even then!! He does not give up on his dream!!! He looks Katsuki in the face and tells him to eat his own ass!!! True story.

Izuku is not a pushover.

He's a strong-willed, determined, motivated, intelligent fucker!!!! This kid never took Katsuki's shit!!!! Stop acting like he grovels and trembles at the guys feet. He doesn't. We see a lot of them as kids, but when we get to the present in the narrative, Izuku is no longer suctioned to his side. At some point, Izuku had refused to let Katsuki keep making a fool out of him.

But even then, he saw something in this asshole. Because, let's be honest, Katsuki was a lot of fucking bark, but he took his bite seriously. This kid gets into UA already having INSANE control of his quirk (take a minute to think about the control and familiarity this kid would have to have w his quirk to pull the stunts that he does), already has special moves and a (stupid) hero name. He's smart, it's not a secret. He's dedicated. He wants to win, and he wants to be the best. It's not a joke to him--so much so that he gets this twisted ass idea that Izuku (epitome of failure, inserted into his mind at such a young age) is insulting him by merely wanting to stand beside him on a even playing feild.

(Fuck me I started talking about Bakugou again.)

And Izuku doesn't just get all mushy and empathetic with Katsuki out of no where when he gets to UA!!!! He still keeps his distance and is wary.

But when he starts to see the changes I mentioned above--he starts to see the Kacchan he remembered admiring as a kid.

When Katsuki loses his shit in their first sparring match, Izuku feels bad. He gets a peek of what Katsuki sees, and he has to fix that immediately. We blurted an important fucking secret, but he needs to understand.

And I think it's safe to say this is the first time Izuku has seen Katsuki cry. Right then and there, whether he means to or not, Katsuki reveals his biggest fear: not being number one, not being good enough. How could Izuku not sympathize?

These boys are just two sides of the same coin. They're both hard-headed, determined ass brats that could learn a thing or two (or ten) from each other!!! They mean a lot to me. They've come so far in just under a year(?). It's wild.

I can't wait to see the Wonder Duo at its finest.

Thanks, that's it goodnight.

[ananonbyanyothername]

@landofcartoonsandnostalgia

Scrooge had to admit, at least to himself that Parenting had not been in his plans. Having a large extended family, well, that had been all right for him, and he was proud to be the uncle to people who were the finest Ducks he’d ever met in his truly unbiased opinion.

But fatherhood?

Ah, there was the fly in the ointment.

He’d never seen himself as anyone’s father figure(whether those he cared for saw themselves as his children could be seen as a topic for debate, but they had never brought the matter to his attention if they did). He was happy to be the kindly uncle whom all the children thought was cool because he just wasn’t like any of the other adults they had met in their admittedly short lives.

He was an interminable ball of energy given form by a careless god who’d forgotten to install a reliable off switch, full of secrets he would take with him to the grave if he ever slowed down long enough to kick the bucket.

Age and family tragedy may have slowed him down just a bit, but he was prone to misremember all he had painfully learned the second it got in the way of adventuring, only realizing what he’d done long after the consequence had passed.

He was, after all, a man who did not like to have his pleasures obstructed and could be cross for ages if he didn’t get what he fancied. Some might call this childish, but he could ignore the evaluations of the preponderance because as long as those practices they dismissed as juvenile benefited his naysayers and himself he could disregard their verdicts as misinformed.

In the back of his mind, he could accept that the root of this line of reasoning might lie in some psychological wound he had contracted, likely from trauma incurred from a childhood he’d cut short seeking fortune for himself and his family.

Like many dilemmas of its character, he had yet to approach it in the relativistic safety of his therapist’s office.

He didn’t know if he would ever try to look beneath the act for whatever the issue it signified for him, but the feasibility was more possible now than it had ever been. Even visiting a therapist would have been unthinkable months ago. However, sudden bouts of fatherhood could do that to a person, he supposed.

A great deal had needed to be hammered away at before and after he waited for the egg to hatch.

Not least of all was the relationship between himself and the other parent concerned.

Shere Khan.

He had known the man to be a workaholic by reputation, one who irregularly kept unsavory association, and who had a notably high turnover rate for employees who occupied high positions. He’d met him twice and had even done business with him through proxies, and he'd proven to be a prompt and competent business partner. However, he had not made an effort to get to know the elusive billionaire personally.

He usually only bothered with other businesspeople on a whole if they made a nuisance of themselves or tried to scam him in some way.

Khan, reliable as he had been, hadn’t been on his radar as someone who needed Scrooge’s own special sort of consideration.

But later on an incident with the man’s former employee would change everything.

How the havering knapdarloch of a development sprang into existence, he still didn't know, but as the official narrative went, Khan had given the man, a feline who's name he could not recall, leave of absence, declaring him unfit for the position and had ordered that he visit the psychologist at the industry’s Employee Resource Department.

While he strongly suspected what had prompted the decision he had not been informed of the reason officially.

The businessman had only parted the information unto the police force stationed in Cape Susette. The specifics had then been tagged as confidential. What he did know was that not long after that, the scientist had chosen not to visit the Resource Department and had been let go.

He had then sought to get hired by Scrooge’s own company. Unhappily for the man, the vultures who occupied his corporate office had got to the man before he’d been able to meet with him and had refused to add another “pet lunatic to his insane asylum” as they had insensitively stated.

The man had been visibly upset at the comment, and Scrooge had arranged to apologize for them outstretching his hand to shake the others warmly, preparing a plan in his thoughts to hire the man secretly just to spite them.

He should have but hadn’t quite expected the sting of the man’s claws to nick his skin.

The man had apologized then wiping at the blood that had soaked his feathers and painfully parting him with a few in his attempts to help.

He had explained that he sometimes had difficulty sheathing his claws when he was angry.

Scrooge had changed the script then, thinking the potential applicant might be a tad too temperamental to work with his science division.

The man’s anger was valid but whether or not the passion had a credible source would not save him from being murdered by Gyro’s light bulb helper before the week was out if he could not hold his temper should he encounter Scrooge’s lead Scientist before the man had absorbed his morning coffee.

So he let the man withdraw and cordially overlooked the pain he’d administered by injecting his claws into his hand. He had given the feline the benefit of the doubt and had put it out of his mind, shrugging the act off as an accident.

He had not noticed the man had kept the feathers or the blood he’d obtained from the cut. He would have had no way of knowing that he had already collected blood from Shere Khan when the man had donated blood for a company-held charity drive.

If it hadn’t been for an uncharacteristic act of altruism from Glomgold of all people he would not have later discovered the scientist had created a small being conceived using the DNA of himself and Khan.

The pooched skyrocket of a man had devised to use their unborn babe to advertise the quality of his capabilities to those who might be interested in hiring him.

Ever the man of action, Scrooge hadn’t wasted time casting himself against the rebrobate.

The youngster may have been given life from an experiment he had never signed off on, but if what was said was true then the resulting ankle-biter was family.

Moreover, when it came to the family, a true McDuck could do naught but look after their own, even in cases when the specifics of the circumstances rattled them if they dwelt too long on it.

He hadn’t known what he would do with the kiddie after he had rescued them but he had concluded he would fret about that after he had achieved the task.

The self-appointed rescue mission had taken him longer than he had foreseen. He’d hoped to sneak in by himself and avoid security altogether, but somehow the children had been alerted to his plans and had decided on their own that he required assistance and in the ensuing argument they had set off the alarms.

Everyone had emerged from the situation shattered, knackered, and perhaps a little worn around the edges, but they had found whom they had come for.

When they had reached home, they’d been tuckered out from fighting with the hired security personnel. Bentina Beakley had taken one look at his face, worn as a nugget hanging off a man’s boot but oh so very proud as he carried the egg in and had elected to drag out the old incubator lamp they had used on the triplets before they had been born.

The children had been ushered into bed by Donald. And then the adults had set up a room for the bairn together. Afterward, he’d gone for a kip laying on a tatty old cot Donald had unearthed from wherever he’d buried it inside that dilapidated wreck of a houseboat. The sleeping arrangements left much to be  across the room from something that was made from a part him. It was a new experience, off-putting but wonderful, and the last thing he thought before consciousness was lost to him was that he wanted more of it.

The next morning he’d awoken to a list of places Beakley had prepared that he could safely put the child up for adoption and he had been startled to learn how possessive he already was for what was still an embryo. But it surprised none who knew him.

He was the protective sort and he'd had time to consider what things might be for the wean if they were brought up outside the home. It was inevitable that they would draw attention, possibly negative, for their looks.

If placed in the wrong home, they wouldn’t even have a family to support them through their troubled times.

He had known then that he was going to keep them. That had also been when he’d realized it might be proper to inform Khan he had a child.

And... what a tosser of an event that had been. It had been one of the most awkward moments in his life, made even worse by the fact that one of the songs on unwed pregnancy Della had loved to sing and dance to as a lass had come on the radio, and had refused to leave his head during the entire encounter. He was fairly certain he had shaved a good ten years off of his life, but had unquestionably flushed in discomfort when those red eyes had turned disbelievingly on him.

Facts and scientific charts had caused the tiger to accept reality, but the other male had wanted little to do with the ordeal.

Scrooge had understood.

He hadn’t asked for fatherhood either, and unlike him, who was happiest when enveloped by those who loved him, their voices acting as a buffer to block out a century’s worth of mistakes of the past that waited, ready to pounce the moment he found himself alone, Khan had always been a loner. Any free time the man allowed himself was devoted towards caring for the garden he had grown in his office.

You couldn’t make someone feel a kinship with anyone and forcing the issue if Khan even could be forced into committing himself to an action he held no desire to be actively involved in with any degree of permanence would only result in resentment.

As someone who knew very well the sting of a parent’s resentment and was in no hurry to introduce a child to that level of negativity. It had hurt him badly enough as an adult, to expose that pain to a child, especially from a parent as undeniably intimidating as Shere Khan seemed nothing short of unspeakable by his reckoning.

That day he’d written off any involvement from the child’s other parent.

Outside of a few scheduled appearances during the trial of the scientist responsible for creating an illegal clone(it was against the law using material taken from sentient animals) created using DNA that had been illegally collected without the consent of either party involved, Shere Khan's presence remained as fleeting as ever.

The Scientist’s lawyer had striven to get him declared innocent by means of insanity, but it had been ultimately dismissed when the man was found to be fully sane after testing. He had known exactly what he was doing, and he had not cared if it was wrong. He was sentenced accordingly, and though they doubted it would stay a secret forever, both Scrooge and Khan had pushed for a gag order. The truth of the incident would only incite unwanted drama neither had wanted. They had gotten it but knew it would only be a matter of time before the story somehow leaked to the world proper.

He had not seen Khan for months after the trial ended. The tiger had even missed the hatching of the egg, which had been a quiet little event the family had attended with baited breath.

His child had been beautiful but undoubtedly unique from the onset.

The attention received from the other parents in the parenting classes he had been forced into taking by the unexpected but efficient team up of Donald and Beakley had been alarming.

He still didn’t know how they had somehow convinced him it was necessary to take parenting classes let alone continue to attend after he’d practically been mobbed that first lesson.

He was willing to schedule activities for them to do together, but the people and their questions could drive a man to distraction.

There were enough birds of striking plumage in the world that he felt no need to discuss the uncommon parentage that had resulted in such a unique appearance.

Enough observation was drawn by virtue of being an avian of unknown parentage and a member of his household.

He feared the truth could only do harm in this case and was set on keeping it a secret.

Fortunately, the only people in a position to inform anyone had nothing to gain from the revelation.

Even Glomgold had apparently decided that discretion was the better part of vengeance because he had practically mowed down the door in his attempt to break in a few weeks before the child’s naming day(which he had been tentatively invited to, much to Scrooge’s later regret) and had demanded to be made Godfather. He had, after all, played a part in the safe recovery of the newest member of clan McDuck. Scrooge had been forced to concede that the man did have a point and had allowed his nemesis to be the Godfather of his child.

He had also sent an invitation to Khan as an afterthought, but it had gone unanswered.

The ceremony was composed mostly out of the members from his household and a few of the other parents(and their children) he’d met in class who weren’t entirely objectionable. They’d then attended a reception Flintheart had graciously paid for out of pocket. Scrooge had been momentarily stunned by his act of kindness before the other shoe had dropped.

Glomgold had gleefully informed him that this fact had technically made them family and didn’t that just ruffle your tailfeathers McDuck? No, of course not Flinty.

(Yes it did)

Barring the fact that he now had paperwork and one very dedicated little girl’s flow chart to inform the world that Flintheart Glomgold was connected to him in a disturbingly significant way, everything had seemed to be going well.

Perhaps it was going too well, and that had been the trouble.

His family had never been as susceptible to bad luck as it was during moments when life seemed nearly perfect. It had been during one of the more labor-intensive activities when he noticed his child seemed to abhor physical activity.

No… that hadn’t quite been it.

While often active there were times when the movement became impossible without complaint and often tears. He would stop the moment the game no longer seemed entertaining, but it left him puzzled. It did not seem to have any particular pattern. An activity might seem the best thing ever one day and the worst of tortures the next. With the age being still too young to get any verbal confirmation over what the trouble was he had sought medical assistance.

The routine check-up had turned into a week-long sabbatical, and the end results had not been good.

The two subjects that had been used to create the new unique individual were not compatible on a biological level, and it had resulted in a myriad of physical problems that had become more evident as the child aged. He’d sat in his room assessing the paperwork that addressed everything his nipper would need to deal with on a regular basis and he'd needed a moment... to take stock of everything but had resolved to be the most supportive parent he could be.

He’d then set about ordering every recommended item on the list rendered by the professionals. From leg braces to various medications, he’d reserved it all. Everything that would provide for a childhood as suitable as could be presented.

He’d also needed to take an evening off to himself to process just how much money he had spent that day, but that was what family was for.

Donald had been happy to help, and he had taken off to South America to investigate the ancient ruins that bore striking resemblances to those that had also been found in India.

Evidence of the migration of Early people made for a captivating topic of interest, and he had wanted to see more of it for himself.

He’d apparently looked very much the tourist which had attracted the attention of a local scam artist.

The fox had tried to put the moves on him in a game of cards, but he was accustomed with the act, and when he had seen the man taking cards out of his sleeves he’d nearly rolled his eyes.

If he cheated a little himself after that little display… well, no one but him would know.

The game had ended with the man owing him money and Scrooge feeling spectacularly good about himself. Like many hustlers, he was a poor loser and hadn’t taken the failure well. He had stirred up a few of his jacks to take back what he’d squandered and Scrooge had led them on a lively joyride through the city that had resulted in the attention and eventual assistance of a clever lizard who had been an undercover police officer, one wrecked bridge (that had absolutely not been his fault) and a tidy little reward for the capture of several wanted criminals.

He had left the city in a better mood than he’d arrived.

Sadly, the joy of dollars well earned, most of which he had used to pay for the destroyed bridge, ended all too soon.

Tossing his hat on the rack, he had been cautious on his arrival home when he’d seen an unfamiliar vehicle in his driveway. He’d opened the greeting room and caught sight of an obviously furious Donald and the dignified figure of Shere Khan sitting at his dinner table looking for all the world as if he belonged there and Donald was the interloper who’s existence he was dispassionately tolerating.

He’d felt dread then.

Before this moment, Khan had shown no interest in them outside the long since concluded court case.

His appearance now was strange, the plausibility that it would be the source of anything positive was unfavorable. He’d been greeted by both men and he exchanged the round of pleasantries before he had been offered a bottle of chai tea masala he knew Khan must have brought himself. Scrooge knew no one else would have spent the money on such an expensive brand.

He’d politely declined, and Donald had yelled at their visitor, ordering him to stop stalling and get to the reason behind his presence.

Scrooge had asked his nephew to leave then, finding the energy counterproductive. All it did was set him further on edge. He’d realized his words had implied the wrong thing when Donald looked betrayed and Khan approving, but it had been too late to take things back as Donald had slammed the door after him.

He had flinched at the noise. It should not be so hard to let someone you loved know you valued them and their opinions, but it was so easy to say the wrong things to that boy.

It was practically a constant of their relationship, but that did not mean he didn’t hope for better.

He would make amends with his nephew later.

He had been left alone with Khan then, and he found himself missing his nephew even more.

Perhaps spurred on by his audience’s palpable distress the tiger had notified him he’d heard reports of the doctor’s medical assessment and the price tag attached. So he had seen fit to visit the bank and make a quick withdrawal from his account.

He’d taken out an envelope then, and began counting the bills out loud, deep voice steadily speaking the numbers as each note slid slowly from the paper that had contained it into his waiting paws.

When the final count was given, it was disclosed that he had brought well over the amount of funds that had been allocated to be spent on classes and treatment. The money was then slipped quickly back where it had come, those firm hands as agile as the most experienced card shark, it was like water flowing from a well-maintained tap, smooth and fluid and hypnotic to the eye.

It was then that he confessed that he had elected to come for the child himself. Only that wasn’t quite as politely as he’d worded it. The man who had chosen to be absent in every important moment of his nestling's life had informed Scrooge he would be repaying him for the money he'd settled on childcare. He had not addressed him as an equal, no, it had been like the CEO of Walmart speaking to one of the maintenance workers of a particular store over their paycheck. It assuredly was not how anyone should review the care of an impressionable child. This was worsened by the fact that he was talking of separating said child from a loving family and transferring them into an environment he doubted would be any warmer than the insensitive man who sat before him.

Needless to say, it had not been long before Donald’s hostility towards the man had then been completely understood. He hadn’t been feeling particularly charitable towards him either. But he had handled the situation well, Scrooge thought. He’d told the tiger his lavish support would not be missed and had ordered Duckworth show his visitor the door.

The video recordings of what had happened afterward had provided entertainment for days. Khan’s expression had been decidedly unamused as he was thrown unceremoniously out the door, paper bills scattering like leaves around him. He’d picked up the dollars and placed them back into the envelope, somehow managing to maintain a degree of decorum where a less stalwart man might have faltered.

He’d then turned his back on the house, head held high as he got into his waiting vehicle and slowly but deliberately inched out of the driveway. When he’d gotten to the gates he’d locked gazes with the camera, pressed two fingers to his temple and saluted, a cruel parody of a smile flickering across his face as he addressed his viewer, as clear a sign as any that the ordeal was not over as there was one.

True to form, this had not been the last he’d seen of the tiger. The businessman had arrived three days later, a paper-thin veneer of false politeness shrouding him like a veil.

Something in the way he’d carried himself made him want to deck him on principle.

He had with him a missive summoning him to attend a court hearing. He’d stared at the man through the camera and wondered what had made a man who had previously shown no recognition of them so keen on the confirmation of his visitation rights that he was willing to fight him in court over that same question.

It went against what he thought he knew of the man’s character, and he didn’t like it. Further observation had shown him it had been signed by the same judge that had handled the trial.

He had grudgingly let him in then. He had no problem with letting the man see the child; it had been the way the man had handled it, was still handling it that put up his feathers like nothing else.

You did not threaten his family.

It just wasn’t done.

The man had met him and nodded his head in a greeting that had Scrooge tempted to have him thrown out to satisfy the irritation he’d felt at the other’s intrusion into his life.

He had led the other man to the nursery instead. Webbigail had volunteered to babysit today while he ran over the details of his accounts, so they entered the room to find her reading her favorite story on Unicorns.

Tiny paws were wrestling with her larger hands as they were attempting to pull the pages close enough that they could reach that tiny mouth. Webby had raised her hand in greeting, but the other corporate executive hadn’t bothered with sociability. In the blink of an eye, their erstwhile visitor had crossed the room and seized the charge from the caretaker’s arms.

It was a surprisingly gentle transfer, given the speed of the action, but the rudeness of the act did not win Khan any points for social etiquette.

He’d then found a chair to sit and had begun gently but thoroughly threading his hands through the infant’s feathers. Both Webby and Scrooge had been shocked to silence by this bizarre action until the older of the two realized what the man was doing…then came the inevitable irritation.

The Feline was looking for bruises, cuts, any signs of possible abuse that could be hidden by that brightly colored mantle. It wasn’t until he’d checked nearly every inch for signs of possible abuse that he finally returned a confused infant to Miss Vanderquack’s arms.

If the man had noticed the fierce glare the young lady had leveled on him he chose to ignore it.

He’d thanked them then and mentioned he’d had an appointment he intended to keep before he passed through the doorway as quickly as he’d come.

The man had seemed content to leave now that he knew child abuse was not something practiced by any member of the household. It was bad enough that he was letting them all know he thought they would stoop to such loathsome behavior.

The fact that he was so cold and clinical about it made it somehow worse. Why he had not felt content to avoid the tactlessness of the situation and just read the doctor’s notes left him feeling more than a little vexed. Surely suspected abuse would have warranted comment?

When he’d voiced his thoughts, Shere Khan had paused, carefully considering his response.

Then he'd looked back at him, those red eyes surprisingly contemplative as the feline’s own years of experience caught up with him for a moment, the somberness making him look old for the first time rather than ageless. He’d opted to simply sigh and say that studies had shown Parents were more likely to take frustrations that their children had not been born perfect out on the ones least able to defend themselves and that personal experience had told him Doctors were just as susceptible to bribery as everyone else.

It hadn’t been the words that had made him glance after Khan, a burning question in his throat. No, it had been the tone, like a swimmer attempting to keep their head afloat that had captured his attention.

The man of the hour had vacated the room before he could say anything further, practically fled it to be fully honest, and Scrooge had attempted to exchange glances with Webby before giving it up as a lost cause.

The only other witness to the peculiar behavior was laughingly fending off tiny paws that were suddenly interested in striking at her hair ribbon and had missed the entire exchange.

Curiosity had made him look over the security cameras, but this time it had brought him no pleasure.

He had seen the man pause for a moment to clutch at the wall before leaving like he was drowning and it was the only life support preventing the tides from sweeping them out to sea. His face had highlighted his internal battle with some powerful emotion before whatever it was had been successfully stamped mercilessly down and his earlier deportment returned, an engaging mosaic glittering with dazzling glass tesserae destroyed by forceful grasping hands leaving nothing remaining. All that was left was the dried husk of someone much more real, a person he might perhaps want to know better.

It had happened so fast he would not have caught everything had he not had access to the pause and replay buttons.

Khan had quickly regained form, and he was on his way like nothing had happened, but it had been that expression that had made him realize the tiger had not been talking hypotheticals. He knew, or more likely, given the strength of that response, was a child who had been abused by a parent. A parent who must have seen him as less for reasons Scrooge could only at, as he could not think of another tiger in his acquaintance that had truly personified the values viewed important by the Felidae quite as completely.

He remembered how cold Khan had been when he’d spoke of how he had learned of the doctor’s report and for the first time wondered how much of it had been a performance. If perhaps he’d panicked thinking family history might repeat itself in a new generation. When he had referred to childrearing as a burden, he wondered if he’d ever heard an adult refer to him as a weight.

He’d said nothing of his observations when the man returned for consecutive visits but made an attempt to be more beneficial to Khan whenever he came to check the physical well being of their child. If he thought the tiger would be a poor caretaker for children, he would have been proven more wrong. He was not especially fond of having his ears or whiskers pulled, but he endured it with a surprising amount of grace, given the image he presented to others.

The two had agreed to start seeing one another in more neutral settings after Dewie had come up with the ah, brilliant idea to start a prank war to scare away what he and the other children had come to see as an unwanted intruder in their home.

They had not factored in that Donald, the poor ill-fated soul that he was, might unknowingly set off their little series of traps, but it had ended with the unintended victim bound, gagged, and covered in ants.

It was not fair how misfortune appeared to consistently lay her vindictive eyes on someone so undeserving.

He had made the error of letting Khan join them on the ride to the hospital to get his nephew medical help after he had been stung multiple times and had begun to undergo severe symptoms.

Stress levels were already high when a quarrel had broken up among the children in the back seat of the car over who was most at fault. They had all appreciated a little too late that the expected target was listening, and now knew that if they’d had their way, it would be him on the way to the hospital instead of Donald.

A tense pause had come over them all and Scrooge had wondered if he might have a fight on his hands and wished he’d had someone else he trusted with watching a toddler at his home so that he would have Beakley’s comforting presence beside him now.

With her at his side he felt he could take on the world, her no-nonsense attitude the perfect calm in his storm.

He had been furious with the children as well, Donald should not have been at risk among his own kin, and he would be having a word or two to his service provider to ensure a few programs would never again be played in his home, but he would allow no harm to come to them.

Fortunately attacking small ducklings did not seem to be on the tiger’s agenda.

The narrowing of his eyes and the sudden stiffness in his posture was the only sign he had heard them. A hush descended on them, thick and heavy, suffocating any conversation that might have sprung up otherwise, he could not even tell them off for what they had done, disquieted that this might set off a reaction in the man he might be unprepared to handle.

Instead of confronting them directly, Khan had remained still. He’d only moved when they had arrived. Then it had been to select a chair in the emergency room to sit, tail raising to allow for comfortable seating, before crossing one leg over the other in a way that he might have described as graceful if he was not concerned about possible violence from the man they were attached to. Lastly, his paws were folded neatly in his lap, the very image of practiced patience.

Scrooge had sat next to him, wanting to keep a close watch on the tiger as practicable. He’d found himself looking at those paws that had so captivated his attention earlier. Sitting so close to Khan he could see the sharp tips of the man’s claws, sheathed as they were by skin and fur. He found himself wondering how they would look fully retracted and if, like most felids, he hid the dewclaw beneath his clothing, that additional claw with which his ancestors had once used to catch and hold prey.

He had seen wild cats use them on prey before and the image of the man doing the same to one of them would not leave his mind. It had been a long wait, everyone distressed over a hurt family member and hyperaware of the tight-lipped predator in the room, the only movement had been his tail, flicking a quiet metronome with the clock.

None of them had been allowed to wait with Donald, and the constant strain had set everyone’s nerves on edge.

Dewie had been the first one to cave under its pressure; he’d advanced on Khan as one might corner a ticking time bomb.

With the air of someone who believed he was signing his own death certificate, he confessed to having planned and executed the entire sordid affair. He had been interrupted by Huey who had protested his younger brother’s act of self-sacrifice claiming he had been the one who had gathered the ants in the first place, Louie had awkwardly admitted, shoving tears from his eyes, that he’d underestimated the danger the prank represented after they’d watched stuntmen on tv walk away from the trap without breaking a sweat when the original prank idea was deemed boring by the group.

In short, the entire lot of them were all young boys who had acted without truly thinking about the repercussions of what they had signed up for before they’d acted.

In their favor, they had at least substituted fire ants for carpenter ants who were less likely to purposely sting someone if they could get away from them first.

Still, if it were possible to die from mortification, he would have surely been in jeopardy of passing at that moment.

Shere Khan had stared down at them, dark eyes imperious, he had opened his mouth, but whatever he had been about to say was interrupted by the Doctor’s arrival, and he’d diverted his deference to the medical professional.

Donald had been administered a series of drugs to help him with his body’s response to the stings, and while they’d prefer to keep him overnight for observation, they were confident he would be well enough to go home the next day.

He’d heaved an internal sigh of relief then, glad to see one predicament resolved safely. Shere Khan had nodded and thanked the man. Then those eyes had settled back on him, he was close enough for Scrooge to see how very red the man’s eyes were, the kind of deep red it would be impossible to remove from a man’s feathers, bold and overpowering, the stain would remain long after the attempts to scrub them clean had been surrendered.

He’d asked then if he could be content to rely on him to ensure proper punishment was meted out, as he would rather not go to hall over the issue if the matter could just as easily be settled out of it. He’d stared at the man for a moment, understanding he had been waiting for an official medical report to be declared before deciding how seriously he would be taking the prank gone horribly wrong. He’d resolved, likely because Donald was set to make a clean recovery, it was best to leave the punishments to the family.

It was a logical way of assessing the situation, and for a moment he’d begrudged him for his ability to keep sensible in an emergency.

He’d wondered for a moment, what would have happened had Donald’s recovery taken a turn for the worse. He’d cut off that line of thinking at the root, not at all comfortable where it lead.

He’d nodded to the tiger, and assured him he would be taking the crisis very seriously indeed. The man had caught his eyes for a moment, quietly judging his words, before he’d nodded, trusting what he’d said at his word.

He’d departed then, removing himself from the chair with what he could now grant in the privacy of his own mind, was a finesse owned by few.

They’d snuck in to visit Donald for a moment, none of them content to leave without visiting the patient, and then they’d headed home in reserved reticence, the children wondering what he designed to do to them, and he depleted beyond words by the entire mess the evening had been.

He had left the actual punishment to Beakley as he’d never been good at that end of guardianship. Part of him always felt it was either too permissive or more severe than the situation required, but he fully embraced the “it takes a village” approach his family took to child rearing and felt her the better arbiter of what should be done.

It had been her to advise going on outings away from home (weeks before the disturbance, but he’d snubbed her, not aching to be anywhere near Khan in an environment where he did not have the home field advantage), and they had begun finding places for their nipper to visit.

Paradoxically he’d felt more comfortable around the man after his nephews had made their misguided attempt to remove him from their lives. Maybe it was the fact that he had kept his head after hearing what the children had ventured to do to him, but he no longer seemed quite as menacing as he had before the event.

It had caused him to do a reassessment and what he’d found had made him feel uneasy.

The man had unnerved him, and on an instinctual level, this made sense.

His ancestors had been hunted by animals very like the cat himself, and, typically speaking, even in more modern times the individual peoples, Avians, Felids, Canids, lapins, Ursi, and the many many many others that coexisted in the beautiful world they lived, tended to stick to their own. Truth be told Donald had been the only one he had known who had actively sought the company of a Dog and a Mouse with any degree of regularity.

Even that had seemed to drop off after the boys had hatched as he’d yet to hear the slightest mention of either Mickey or George in his presence since Donald had arrived.

He had, without meaning to, approached the man as one would a dangerous predator, and the children in all likelihood taken note of his behavior and decided he should be treated accordingly. Which was honestly was not fair to the man in question.

Shere Khan was by no means a “people” person, but he had been making more attempts at cordiality since the second meeting.

He’d certainly never threatened him or his family physical harm, unlike Flintheart, who was still sketching out his demise, even after being made Godfather(he would always lament the decision to cave to his nemesis’ demands. Glomgold’s struggles at an Italian-American accent were absolutely atrocious). So, with that in mind, he’d set out to be…nice.

To his surprise, after the inevitable gaucherie that came from tearing off the plastic of a new idea, meeting with Shere Khan, actually enjoying himself rather than being content to remain stonily civil, had become surprisingly easy to do.

And, most shocking revelation of all, he had begun to look forward to the play dates the two men scheduled for their kid.

There was something about being with someone who remembered historical events you’d lived through who was neither related to you nor has pledged their life to ending yours that he would found somehow freeing in a way he’d only found before with Goldie.

Even better was that it had none of the heavy emotional complexities that would always exist between himself and the woman who was, he admitted to himself, the great love of his life. Instead, he’d found an intelligent conversationalist and occasional debate partner to discuss current events and frequently laugh over what the modern Americans felt were “traditional values” that had in no way been present when either of them had been children.

Khan was close-mouthed about the events of his childhood, but he suspected from the way the man carried himself, calm and poised, never too angry or too pleased, never allowing himself to seem too emotionally vested in things he cared about lest they were potentially used against him, that it had not been a good one. These were all signs of emotional abuse, of that he knew.

What little Scrooge did know was that the man was an Indian Immigrant who had been born during the time of the English occupation of India, but after the revolution that had ended the control of the East Indian Trade Company.

It was not an easy time for anyone to have grown up in and he did not press his… companion to share information he did not wish to give.

Instead, he did what he usually did when faced with a person of interest with a complicated and potentially traumatic backstory he knew nothing about and suspected asking outright could cause more trouble than it was worth, he had paid an aide to look into the subject’s history behind his back.

He was bad enough at handling interactions between himself and people he knew had sensitive sides best not prodded. A clear example of this could be seen in the relationship he shared with Donald.

(though he suspected there might have been something psychological in that. his nephew reminded him far too strongly of people he had also shared a problematic relationship with and at times it had unintentionally bled through without his notice)

He did not want to accidentally fumble over some old hurt and set Khan off, especially now that things were surprisingly pleasant between them. Irritatingly the search had given him absolutely nothing to work with. The name “Shere Khan” had been present in the birth records documenting the birth of Indian tiger cubs but none had matched his description.

This had left him to conclude that either the status of Khan’s parents had been so low his birth would not have been registered, or the name everyone knew him by was a pseudonym.

It would surely explain why the name “Shere Khan” hadn’t appeared attached to a man of his classification until a certain entrepreneur had appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

Either option, he knew would not be welcomed as a topic for casual conversation, so he had resigned himself to doing what he had initially pretended to do and “let things be.”

Moreover, no what he had done after making that decision was not in fact pouting, no matter how many people had brazenly asked him why he was supposedly doing it.

This meant they had needed to find out for themselves what they considered to be “safe” topics to argue over.

Furthermore, neither of them had been willing to let social etiquette dictate what they discussed, so everything short of Khan’s childhood seemed fair game.

And so, it was politics had been the first topic they had ever argued over since he’d unofficially called a truce.

Specifically FDR, Khan was surprisingly enamored with what he remembered of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Scrooge had nearly spat out his drink at that revelation. Yes, he’d managed to make a successful political comeback in the face of a debilitating illness(whether it was poliomyelitis or Guillain–Barré syndrome) that had left him paralyzed from the waist down, but his memories of the man were not as positive, and the faults he had found in his personality only began with his infuriating ego. This had been the same ego that had Roosevelt confident enough to order then vice president Truman to use the servant’s door simply because he had not liked him. They had eventually agreed to differ, realizing each was very set in their thoughts of the man and it would most probably never change. FDR had done his damndest to foster a cult personality, and Khan was apparently one of many who had fallen for it.

He had acknowledged the deceased president had his faults and had made decisions he had greatly disagreed with, not the least of which was his internment of the Japanese Americans which both had agreed had been wrong then, and an act of politically motivated racism that was one of the many political settlements that had left a smear on American history.

However, despite acknowledging his faults, he’d continued to like the man in spite of it all, and there was really nothing more that could be said about that.

Over time Scrooge, with very few exceptions, had come to dislike most politicians as a rule as he considered them professional conmen who expected to be lauded every election year for the effort they put into fleecing their constituents over and often damaging the world around them. Khan had seemed to respect his opinion on the matter, so he had backed down.

There were worse presidents to consider, after all. For example, if Khan had confessed to a fondness for Lyndon Baines Johnson, he would have had to end all conversation there, as even Flintheart had called that man evil in ways that were utterly unflattering.

When Scrooge had hesitantly asked, Khan thankfully declared found ol’ LBJ distasteful and the relief had been so palpable it felt like he was breathing it in, like smoke from a fag, it made it difficult to breathe. They’d peaceably ended the discussion cheerfully making jokes at the expense of the newest disaster that had been elected into office, before he had left for home, carrying a sleeping toddler in his arms.

That had been summer, a time full of pushing boundaries and reflecting on ideas from a different perspective. They had hit museums and art galleries the world over and examined the history and religion behind individual works.

The children had started to join in on occasion, always accompanied by Launchpad. Because, in the end, they somehow always managed to convince him to do things against his better judgement, it was a personal weakness he needed to correct, but he found it difficult not to cave in to their demands when they turned such pleading faces upon him.

During one memorable visit Khan, despite being an avowed atheist(who admitted to having met beings who had been worshiped as deities but had refused to see them as such himself), had proven such a wealth on the Hindi religions he’d felt content to stand back to let him discuss the impacts the Islamic invasion had left on the culture and art of India.

Christianity was included, though he seemed less inclined to speak of it, particularly the take over of the country by the English.

He seemed more set in speaking on the cuisine of the Goenche Katholiks, an Indo-Latin ethnic group, which had supposedly been valued as cooks by some of the Anglican households for their willingness to work with forbidden meat.

Even the children had noticed how he had seemed to have become more sullen as he spoke of the English.

But when Huey had asked to know more about the Goan Catholic culture, he had cheerfully launched into the horrors of the Goan Inquisition and the special interest the Portuguese monks had taken against the Shudras(the lowest of the four social castes) and the Curumbins(a group of tribal unmentionables, that were seen to be outside the Four castes).

The children had been traumatized, and he had learned history lessons with Shere Khan would from then on be an adult only event.

The tiger had apparently never learned to properly filter what age-appropriate descriptions of violence from his language were. He had treated them for ice cream for the trauma they had suffered and had resigned himself to the rebuke he knew he would receive the moment Donald heard what had happened. The lecture was worse than he had suspected as even Beakley had felt the need to express her disapproval, and he had been thoroughly dressed down for allowing the development to proceed.

Later the kids would try to join him at the door, finding the tiger unquestionably captivating after having overcome the trauma of that lesson.

Scrooge had been forced to put his webbed foot down.

Said tiger would have to learn he could not say such things in front of children before he trusted him again with the psychological well being of his nephews.

The season had slowly moved into the lull of fall, and things between them had mostly settled comfortably into the new normal.

Parenting might not have been in his plans, but he was glad for it now as he watched their munchkin, larger now, and bundled up in a soft Inverness coat, the color a bright beech wood that worked well with the wearer’s natural coloring. He was smiling hard enough to hurt as he walked with Khan watching youthful exuberance in action. Their tiny tyke, excited by the changing seasons as anyone, was rolling in practically every pile of fallen leaves, before raising paws to bat at them as multicolored fronds floated back down. He’d stared at the sky, pushing back his brown scarf, red coat keeping him protected in the face of a late autumnal afternoon.

It would be evening soon, and they had a path through the forest to retrace before nightfall, but he was reluctant to end things between them all so soon.

Not when it was one of those rare perfect days that reminded you that life, even a seemingly endless one like his, would always have it’s joy and laughter to level out with every other bit of nonsense and make it worth living.

He startled when he heard an excited squeal of laughter and turned back to see Khan, clad in a dark blue high collared coat had scooped up their wee barra whom he had very seriously declared was now an airplane and whirled playfully about through the air, strong paws holding the tiny body tight and secure.

The little one had tried to keep a tight hold on one of the leaves collected from the forest floor but had dropped it in the excitement, and when Khan had stopped, resecuring his precious cargo in his left arm, the child had attempted to reach for another, little eyes wide and desperate.

Amused, he’d plucked one up from the tree above.

The smallest of their number had been delighted as if the secrets of the universe were held in that one little leaf.

The tiger’s dark red eyes had turned fond in the warm glow of the sun, and Scrooge had taken his other paw then feeling the need to be close to them both, unaware of how soft he’d looked then.

Khan’s eyes had widened upon feeling the soft but unmistakable pressure of his hand, and the smaller of the two was hit with the full force of a sight seen by very few, the tiger’s crooked grin, untainted by maliciousness or ulterior motives.

Scrooge smiled once more, and regretfully directed his partner to the path that led home.

One day they would discuss what those open smiles and clasped hands meant in greater detail, or the dark look in the tiger’s eyes meant when he said the word ‘mother’ and avoided discussion of his childhood when Scrooge would share his intimately, but for now, they were content to just be.

Two former strangers well on the way to becoming something more, and the future that connected them both.

[beastlondoninfo]

The Scent Movie 2020

Allow us to lower proper to the chase...or proper to the screaming as lots of the people on this record would like! Not solely am I married to a prime house haunter, I've been a giant fan of horror films (additionally known as monster films) for years. In my expertise, as a fan of the style, listed below are my prime ten monsters of all time! The Scent Movie 2020

10. Kraken (1981)

From the 1981 Conflict of the Titans, this can be a creature that stirs the creativeness. Though the Kraken is a creature of delusion, it's the movie model that everybody remembers. Who might overlook the top scene of the unique Conflict of the Titans the place the Kraken comes for Andromeda? (What he wished her for isn't clear to me. Did he plan to eat her? Invite her to go for a swim?) At any charge, the Kraken was delivered to life by the stop-motion animation of Ray Harryhausen, a legend in horror and fantasy films. The picture of Perseus turning the Kraken to stone is basic and so is that this multi-armed monster on this author's opinion.

9. Creature From the Black Lagoon (all variations)

There have been many films about terrifying sea creatures, however Creature From the Black Lagoon continues to be the very best. (Sorry, Jaws!) Launched in 1954, it incorporates a monster-like gill-man found on an expedition within the Amazon. Like many well-known monsters of the silver display screen, the Creature spawned sequels. The unique Creature of the Black Lagoon film is being remade for a 2011 launch, in keeping with the IMDB Web page.

See Also

eight. Mummy (Boris Karloff)

Boris Karloff makes his first look on our record! The Mummy, directed by Karl Freund, is a 1932 horror movie from Common Studios. It starred Karloff as a revived historical Egyptian priest known as Imhotep. Whereas the film isn't a drop-dead scare fest, it's a basic that's within the collective reminiscence of our society. When individuals consider mummies, they invariably consider Karloff shuffling out of his sarcophagus in bandages. The Mummy was semi-remade in The Mummy's Hand (1940) but it surely was Karloff's model that started the Mummy films.

7. Michael Myers (all variations)

Michael Myers is the one who began the slasher style. He first confirmed up in 1978's Halloween as a younger boy who murders his older sister, after which returns house years later to kill once more. His fights with Jamie Lee Curtis within the first two Halloween films are excellent examples of how scary film chases ought to work. Though, I believe Michael's fights with Donald Pleasence (who performed Dr. Loomis) are the very best components of the Halloween movies. The one detrimental features to the Halloween films to me are the continuity points. As an example, Halloween III, though not a foul film, has nothing to do with the opposite installments. Additionally, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later virtually ignores established continuity from earlier films with no clarification.

6. Dracula (Bela Lugosi)

Bela Lugosi was a Hungarian actor, finest recognized for enjoying Rely Dracula within the Broadway play and basic Common Studios Dracula movies, too. The now basic Dracula that made Lugosi a star got here out in 1931. Though the film is a little bit gradual and never as thrilling as different Common classics, such because the Frankenstein movies, Lugosi made the movie work. Irrespective of what number of vampire films are made, too, that is essentially the most memorable. Ask anybody who's Dracula they usually instantly consider Bela's Dracula. His Dracula is an icon.

5. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund)

Robert Englund is finest recognized for enjoying serial killer Freddy Krueger within the Nightmare on Elm Road movie sequence. Based on Wikipedia, he acquired a Saturn Award nomination for Greatest Supporting Actor for A Nightmare on Elm Road three: Dream Warriors in 1987 and A Nightmare on Elm Road four: The Dream Grasp in 1988. I'm not shocked. He was glorious as Freddy. The brand new Freddy can not maintain a candle, or dingy pink sweater, to Englund. He approached taking part in Freddy with a mix of horror and comedy. His witty banter along with his victims is the stuff of legend.

four. Wolfman (Lon Chaney Jr.)

"Even a person who's pure in coronary heart and says his prayers by evening, could turn out to be a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is vivid."

If you speak about werewolves, there may be none higher than Lon Chaney's Wolfman within the 1941 Common Studios film. From the long-lasting make-up to the gypsy curse, it's Chaney's Wolfman that society is aware of finest, and with good cause - it's a darn good film that stands the take a look at of time.

three. Frankenstein's Monster (Boris Karloff)

Do I actually have to write down that Boris Karloff's portrayal of the Frankenstein Monster is a basic creature of the cinema? The crash of thunder, the scorching laboratory machines, the monster's hand moving-these are the pictures all of us have embedded in our minds. No model of the Frankenstein Monster will get higher than Karloff's model from the basic 1931 horror movie.

2. Leatherface (all variations)

Leatherface is the principle killer in The Texas Chainsaw Bloodbath horror-film sequence. He wears masks product of his victims' pores and skin (which is the place the identify Leatherface comes from) and is the character from the film who usually carries a chainsaw. Not solely is Leatherface one of many first slasher-type villains however he's drop-dead scary! Whereas I believe all variations of Leatherface are scary as heck, the very best Leatherface actors have been Gunnar Hansen (from the primary Texas Chainsaw Bloodbath) and Invoice Johnson (The Texas Chainsaw Bloodbath 2). I nonetheless assume the scene in Bloodbath 2 when Leatherface runs, chainsaw roaring, out of the darkened radio station towards the lead feminine actor is horrifying.

Related Links:

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1. Jason Voorhees (all variations)

Certain, Kane Hodder has performed Jason greater than every other actor, however I am unable to choose one Jason that's higher than one other. Every actor who performed the undead slasher Jason Voorhees introduced one thing new to the position. Jason Voorhees is the killer from the Friday the 13th sequence. He first appeared in Friday the 13th (1980); though, he was not the principle villain within the first film. Jason is a superb character due to the long-lasting hockey masks, the creepy camp setting, and since you really feel some sympathy for him. He was a deformed youngster who was mocked by friends and ignored by camp counselors. He additionally loves his mommy. (Watch the films and you will notice what I imply.) As a result of he evokes sympathy within the viewers, he's a little bit like Frankenstein's Monster however undoubtedly extra evil.

Agree with my selections? Disagree with me? Put up a remark. And bear in mind to look at over your shoulder when strolling within the woods at evening. The blokes above could also be stalking.

It might be no nice coincidence that the scariest film of all time was launched within the 1970s, a decade infamous for cult killings, hallucinatory medicine, civil unrest, stunning imagery, and a public consciousness that was nonetheless very entrenched within the wrath of God versus the duplicity of the Satan. "The Exorcist", directed as a play of insanity and hellfire by William Friedkin (and primarily based on a e-book that was supposedly primarily based on a "true story") is a superb movie that set the usual for horror--so excessive in reality, that it spawned 1,000,000 sequels, imitators and montage methods that we so simply take as a right within the CGI age. To see The Exorcist immediately continues to be a visceral delight, although it is unlikely viewing it can result in any miscarriages or seizures, prefer it did throughout its debut, little question benefiting from a little bit of group hysteria. It's a movie that has aged barely, however that also packs an emotional wallop, even with a whole technology of desensitized nihilists who grew up taking part in GTA.

Horror and Gore

The Exorcist goes for scares over gore, although there are a number of bloody homicide scenes right here and there. Friedkin rightly understood that the inexplicable and the surreal are really the scariest components of a nightmare, which is why he went all out to rework an innocuous little lady into an obscenity-spewing, spider-crawling demon crammed with nothing however contempt for mankind. Friedkin's inventive use of low-cost visible results is spectacular, and more practical than 100 computer-animated corpses. Pazuzu is really one among cinema's best villains, and maybe due to the spirit's random, indiscriminate nature. Nobody was protected from an offended spirit, and the truth that Friedkin allowed it to own a tragic little youngster (surpassing Hitchcock's in-the-shower vulnerability) was really the top of our fourth wall consolation zone.

Find out how to Watch It

The subliminal messages within the movie add to the creepiness issue. For the very best outcomes, watch it sober, at the hours of darkness, and watch it earlier than all of the tens of millions of imitators. Do not be shocked in case your honey calls for you to place the DVD outdoors the home earlier than returning to mattress!

Did You Know?

It's rumored that Ellen Burstyn solely agreed to play the position of Chris MacNeil, if she did not must say the scripted line "I imagine within the satan". After all she received her means.

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[imaginemycroftholmes]

Could I request an imagine where Mycroft sees you kissing Lestrade the day he was going to ask you out, but it was actually for a dare.Mycroft goes to moping in his office,and Sherlock being Sherlock did this so he could prove to himself that Mycroft has feelings,but then realizes the mess his brother is and somehow tries to fix it.

Preparing for the flounce of a lifetime despite being drenched Sherlock is not prepared for the scene of his brother nursing a brandy (and from it looks of it more than a couple of glasses his mind supplies) this early in the afternoon.

Being surprised or wrong was something Sherlock wasn’t often the victim (John’s trick of having a sister notwithstanding) but to see his brother drinking away in his office like a spinster in the darken shade of his usual ‘wipe your shoes before you step in on this carpet Sherlock as its worth more than Baker Street and John;s salary combined’  when he should be in better spirits.

However it seems as though Mycroft had well gone past his limit with his drinking or was actively choosing to ignore him in favor of his computer screen. 

Eyes glazed and red his brother is non-responsive to his presence only to have his right hand clutching the mouse and the other wrapped around his glass.

Sherlock can concede that he wasn’t the brightest Holmes in the family but since rooming with John he could tell what this was about. He’d seen it too many times with John when his girlfriends dumped him or was rejected with Lestrade at the local pub.

Deep down Sherlock knows that he should be more tactile about this like Molly or John would but he was never one for coddling. 

Taking long strides to the desk Sherlock is quick to snatch bottle but not the glass from Mycroft’s grasp before proclaiming, “That’s enough of that. Honestly, why the hell are you doing this?”

His brother gives him a long suffering look before he drains the glass. “That much should be obvious for the ‘great’ Sherlock Holmes,” Mycroft grumbles, “now stop being a twat and relinquish my bottle.”

Despite his slur Mycroft is still quick forcing Sherlock to back off considerably. He just about falls out of his chair if not for the armrests keeping him boxed in against the desk.

 “I will do no such thing but I’ll ask again-slowly- because you’re so caught up in some preconceived notion that the world conspires against you; why on earth are you doing this?”

Righting himself back on the chair Mycroft makes a rude noise with his mouth and scoffs. “You of all people should know why. You were there Sherlock with a front row seat.”

Granted Sherlock had but he had purposely left enough space for Mycroft to witness the exchange. 

It was no secret to him that Mycroft had his eye on one of the officers in Lestrade’s division; a new hire after Sgt.Donovan had been relocated for her part in defaming his name.

The crush  Mycroft harbored for her was odd as they had only met a handful of times during his escapades but not entirely unfounded.

She was pretty, she was fit, she had similar tastes in different facets and was (if not by Lestrade’s standards) very intelligent when it came to submitting evidence and theories in her reports.

All in all not a complete waste of space or a roadblock in his way to solving a case so it made her somewhat invaluable to Scotland Yard’s finest.

If anything could be gathered from those few interactions the officer in question did seem to be genuinely interested in his brother if body language and tone was anything to go by but then again it took him years to realize that he loved Molly so what did he know?

The point being is that he had to figure out if Mycroft felt anything for her and prove it with some harmless experiments.

Like everything it began small.

Pictures being thrown in with files, rerouting CCTV cameras, making offhand comments to both parties just to gauge a reaction.

For officer _____ it was painfully clear where she stood emotional wise concerning his brother to the point where Sherlock questioned her worth on the team if she could not achieve a proper poker face when given horrible news (to which he was promptly smacked by Molly and then yelled at by John when explaining his findings.)

As for reading Mycroft, that was an entirely different story. There were times that he seemed effected and others like he didn’t even give a damn.

“Gee, I wonder who that sounds like, “John had commented with heavy sarcasm when he had complained about it but Sherlock had ignored it in favor of a new way to test the waters.

 The test was simple. Get the officer ____ to kiss someone else in front of his brother and watch for a response.

Now finding someone that would make Mycroft upset wasn’t a hardship. 

Almost everyone would put him off, hell Sherlock would do it if it didn’t mean Molly would leave him but considering that most of the Yard consists of men it was a large pool to select from.

Implementing the plan was even easier as most people who do team heavy jobs usual enjoy doing stupid things to test their courage against their peers. 

It had started simple: daring one another to eat things that had been licked or sit on someone’s lap or trading trousers for a shift. Stupid things but for the other officers fun to be had a relatively quiet night.

Mycroft had given Lestrade some insane excuse to come down to the station (Pub night my arse) meaning he would most likely be down before his shifts end.

Timing was everything and Sherlock was playing the part of puppeteer in order to get this right. Suggesting to masses that kissing their boss was the ultimate act  of bravery just as Mycroft’s car was pulling up took finesse.

Out of the 22 officers crowding  the room only three besides the one in question looked like they might take him up on the challenge but he only needed to goad  her lightly on before she crashed her lips on Lestrade.

The reaction was instantaneous. 

Mycroft’s face went from hopeful to crushed in seconds and his exit just as silent before either turned their heads around.

Sherlock had planned to follow him quickly but with all the rowdy officers daring him alike it took him a great deal of half promises to escape the building and hail a cab.

“Oh come off it brother mine-if you even tried to use that peanut brain of yours you would see that it was all a ruse by me to get under your skin,” Sherlock complains, “Honesty, if she had feelings for Lestrade of all people they would have been shagging months ago.”

Mycroft snaps. “She isn’t like that! I swear to God if you slander officer ____ again I will have you locked up,” he threatens but his fire dies down as his attention is brought to his computer screen again.

“She’s not one to sleep around with her superiors Sherlock and Gregory is a fine man. I have no doubts that even she is attracted to him on some level and cannot blame her,” Mycroft concedes before taking a sip out of the glass only annoyed to find it empty.

Giving a stink eye to Sherlock Mycroft demands once more, “Give me back the bottle.”

Sherlock scurries backward again when he sees that this time Mycroft might give chase. “I will do no such thing and you will sober up immediately.”

“I will not and you will unhand that bottle or I’ll call security to retrieve it for me,” Mycroft states darkly.

“As if.”

“Sherlock.”

“MAKE ME.”

The chase is hardly a dangerous one for Sherlock as it is for his brother running around the carpeted office. 

Mycroft stumbles to catch up as Sherlock is effortless outmaneuvering him.

“Listen-” starts to say before missing a swipe of Mycroft’s hand.

“I say listen you caterwauling elephant,” he demands as he catches Mycroft caught between the fireplace and a chair, “if you keep this up you’ll look like a mess before officer _____ comes to see you.”

His face twists from anger to that of genuine confusion. “What now?”

“I swear alcohol does nothing but delete people’s remaining brain cells,” Sherlock mutters disdainfully before explaining again, “Officer ___ is coming over right now to confess to you as we speak. I told her what I had done to prove you have feelings for her and then she dumped the entire water cooler on my head before heading out to find you. Apparently Lestrade was more than happy to give her your office address and given how far her flat is from here should be coming up the hallway in ten minutes flat.”

Mycroft’s face shows a myriad of emotions. 

Hope, happiness,fear, realization and anger. 

Sherlock being more aware of this now is taking slow, calculated steps backwards toward the door.

“Now listen here brother mine, I only did this for your benefit,” he claims as Mycroft is torn between trying to fix his appearance and go after him.

“Only to entertain your curiosity you meddling little twat-”

“Only so you would realize you love her,” Sherlock interrupts again as he throws the bottle to the floor in hopes of distracting him to make an escape. He dashes out into the hallway with Mycroft shouting behind, “I already knew that I loved her you arse that’s why I was planning on asking ____ out today!”

“You really mean it?”

Even without looking back Sherlock knew that officer _____ must have finally caught up and knew better than to tarry. 

After all she still had her gun and would rather not stick around to see if Mycroft would join her on a Sherlock shooting safari.

“Every word of it until the day I die.”

“So want to hunt down Sherlock and make him pay?”

“Undoubtedly.”

Sherlock sends a quick text out to Molly letting her know that he won’t be home tonight. 

[darlingpetao3]

Great Scott, Barry! (Chapter 3/9)

“What's got you so down in the dumps?”

It didn't matter that you received a free coffee from Jitters this morning. Nor did you care that one of your co-workers brought in donuts for everyone. Or that Scott praised the Galaxy Plunders review you emailed him last night, calling it ingenious, funny, and clever. You were most certainly off your game today and Iris could sense something was up.

“It's... nothing.”

“No, it's definitely something.” Iris eyes you like she's a robot scanning for the source of a virus. “This wouldn't have to do with your date with Barry, would it?”

“No,” you say unconvincingly. She gives you the eyebrow. “Okay, yes.”

“What did he do now?”

“It's just, everything was going so well. The date was perfect. We totally had some moments. But then, at the end, when we were saying goodbye...”

“What? What did he do?”

“He ran off! It was like he was going to kiss me and then he bolted. It was beyond weird. I kept thinking there was something wrong with me.”

“Oh sweetie, no. There's nothing wrong with you,” she assures you. “Guys can be such guys, you know?” You nod. “I apologize for him. I could always talk-”

“No! I mean, thank you, but no. That's okay. I'll survive.” You flash Iris a smile, but you don't think that it necessarily put her at ease.

Hey (Y/N). I'm so sorry again for

what happened the other night.

I hope you can forgive me. Can I

make it up to you? You can't see it,

but I'm totally giving you the famous

Barry Allen sad puppy dog eyes right

now.

Lord help you because you didn't mean to laugh at the thought of Barry making that face. And true to his word, he did call you the day after the date gone awry, although you did let his call go to voicemail. You had no idea what to say to him, you didn't know what to do.

You still don't.

There's a knock at the door and you think it's probably Iris, seeing as she has been threatening to come over and cheer you up with pizza, chocolate, and good old fashioned girl talk.

But when you open the door, it isn't Iris standing on the other side, but Barry! He's holding a bouquet of flowers and is peeking out over them.

“I thought maybe it would be more effective if you actually saw the puppy dog eyes in person,” he says, indeed looking like a poor, defenceless, and very sad dog. Truth be told, you are no match for his animated expression because it instinctively pulls at your heartstrings. Your hand touches your face and you laugh.

“Oh God, it worked. Get in here.” Opening the door wider for Barry to come in, you take the brightly bloomed flowers from him and go look for a proper vase. Barry shuts the door and stands against your kitchen counter.

“Listen, (Y/N), I really do want to make it up to you. I feel horrible about taking off how I did. What do you say to dinner tomorrow night?” There are a couple silent beats, and after looking into his eyes once more, you can easily see he feels genuinely shitty. You make your decision (though you wonder if your mind had already subconsciously been made up).

“Well, everyone deserves a second chance, right?”

“Yes, I absolutely agree.”

“You're just saying that,” you tease.

“Yes... and no.” His words try to hide some hidden meaning, surely packed with past experiences that you don't press on. Together, you'll start with a clean slate, a new chapter. After all, who knows what the future holds if you give Barry this second chance.

As it turned out, Barry spent the night at your place. But no, not like that. It was an innocent night (not so much were the thoughts in your head, but you felt it was not the time to act on them) filled with chips and salsa, conversation, and a movie. The more you two talked, the more you found him a down to earth, caring, funny, and all around regular guy. You learned that family is a big part of his life. Barry even opened up to you about the tragedy of losing his mother when he was ten years old. You felt awful about what happened, and yet felt such admiration in how he keeps a positive outlook on life.

You said it before and you'll say it again: they don't make guys like this anymore.

When you wake up in the morning, you realize you'd been sleeping against Barry's chest on the couch. You move off of him slowly, just as he seems to be waking up groggily, too.

“Good morning,” he says, voice sounding scratchy and sleep-ridden. So hot.

“Good morning, yourself.” You desperately don't want to leave his warm body, but it's an unfortunate must if you want to be at work on time. Once you're all put together for the day, you both leave your place and Barry so kindly walks you to work. On the way there he buys you your daily dose of Jitters coffee and this week's paper featuring your first movie review for CCPN. Barry reads it aloud as you walk.

“(Y/n), this is amazing! I especially like how you can go into detail about it all but not spoil anything huge. Now that's talent.”

“Aww, thanks, Barry.” He stops you for a moment when you reach the entrance doors to CCPN.

“Before you go, I just wanted to say thank you. For the second chance.”

“Don't mention it. We're still on for tonight, then?”

“For sure, yeah. I'll come round about seven for you?”

“Okay. Sounds good.”

Barry hesitates for a moment and you try to guess what's going on in his head, but he quickly catches you off-guard, kissing you. It's delicate, but also hard with meaning. Gosh, you'd been waiting for this moment... It would take everything you have to tame those fluttering butterflies in your stomach. But then again, did you even want to?

When your lips part, you bite your lip to suppress the gigantic smile that's dying to break free. Barry is looking at you in a way you've never been looked at before by any other man.

“I'll see you later,” he says sweetly.

“I'll be counting the hours,” you reply on autopilot. And was that a sigh? “I mean, not in a creepy kind of way. More like 'yay-I'm-so-excited.'” Barry gives a little laugh.

“Don't worry, I'm definitely going to be counting them, too.” Barry winks. He freaking winks. Then he gives you this cute little wave goodbye that leaves you frozen in place in a daze. Iris is lurking around the corner when you finally gain control over your muscles again and walk inside. How much of that did she see?

“Soooo...” Iris drags out the word. “Clearly you two are doing mighty fine.”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” you play it off.

“The look in his eyes and yours,” she says dreamily. “That kiss. And, I don't know, the fact that Barry was wearing the same clothes as yesterday.” She waggles her eyebrows.

“But how-”

“You're forgetting I live with the guy.”

“Oh right.”

“Soooo...”

“Heh heh, it wasn't like that Iris. Nothing happened. We had fun.”

“But not that kind of fun?”

“Oh my God, no, not that kind of fun.” Yet, you think wickedly. You're blushing furiously now. “He's taking me to dinner tonight.”

“That's awesome! Have some dessert for me.”

When you have settled into your spot at your desk, you flip through the pages of the new issue of CCPN. One article jumps out at you in particular with its headline: CPT. COLD GETS JUST REWARD – FLASH DOES IT AGAIN. And by Iris West, no less. Reading the detailed piece, you learn that The Flash took down a guy named Captain Cold down at the docks at Central City Pier two days ago. Iris must be friends with the Flash or something why she always gets the best intel. You'll have to ask her about it sometime.

The rest of the day could not progress any slower. The whole time at work, and even once you returned home, thoughts of Barry and your approaching date danced in your head like sugar plums. You don't think you've ever had feelings this strong for anyone before so early on in, well, whatever this was.

Barry shows up later in the evening, exactly when he said he would. No sooner, no later. Boy, was he ever punctual. You liked that about him. Almost as much as you liked this white shirt/navy blazer combination he's wearing. Because damn.

You're just glad you decided to wear your fanciest, classiest dress for the occasion, and your hair was especially on point tonight. Honestly, you totally rivalled Barry for looking like hot stuff. And you can tell by the way he's looking at you- trying to be subtle about it, but completely failing at doing so. It's cute. So incredibly cute.

“Uh, wow, (Y/N). You look... so beautiful.”

Your cheeks flush at the compliment. “Thank you, Barry. So do you. Handsome, I mean. Not beautiful.” You pause. “Aww hell, who am I kidding? You do look beautiful, too.”

Cue the embarrassed laughter from the both of you.

“Ready to go?”

“Very much so,” you say. “I'm starving.”

“Me too. Let's go.” He lends his arm and you link yours in his. This night most definitely has promise.

More like a broken promise.

The night was going so incredibly well, like a dream really. The restaurant Barry chose was fantastic. Some of the best food you've tasted in your life. Your table was dressed in the finest dinnerware and candles to fit the mood. Barry even pulled out your chair for you like the gentleman he is.

You both talked about your pasts, work, and everything in between. Laughter was a common element throughout dinner, which caused others to glance your way. It may sound corny, but you felt like life just got brighter every time he was trying to be cute and funny and adorable. But let's face it, he didn't need to try.

When he mentioned being struck by lightning, that really caught your attention. The odds of that happening are insanely high and yet it happened to him. Thank goodness he was alright. Of course, he made light of the situation, to which you chuckled. You looked down smiling, strands of hair falling in front of your face.

“Did it hurt?” you asked.

“What, the lightning?”

“I was going to say when you fell from Heaven.”

Blushes all around. “Oh stop.” You then realized embarrassing Barry was one of your new favorite things.

After dinner, you two were feeling adventurous so you decided to order some dessert. After all, the decadent hot fudge brownie was calling your name. Yelling, rather. But just as the waitress left with the order, Barry's phone went off with a million text tones. His bright and sunny face dropped in an instant. All you could hear were strings of “so sorry”s and “emergency”s. You quietly said to him that you understood. Although you left out the part about it being a little disappointing honestly.

Especially when the dessert fit for two finally arrived.

“Excuse me,” you said to the waitress. “Actually, could I get this packed up to go, please?”

Which brings you to now, currently standing on Barry's doorstep with the packed up dessert. Thankfully you remembered which house was his because the other day, Iris had you stop here with her because she forgot something. You rap your knuckles on the door, prepared that he may not even be home.

The door opens and reveals a tall, darker skinned man. Immediately you take this to be Iris' father. The resemblance is there.

“Hi, Mr. West? I'm (Y/N). I was just-”

“Ahhh yes, you were out with Barry! Come in.” You thank him and step inside. “He hasn't stopped talking about you all week. Um, how did it go tonight?”

“It went really well. That is, until he ran off.”

“Ran off? I'm sorry to hear that. Did he say what the reason was?”

“All he said was that it was an emergency.”

Just as you finish your sentence Mr. West's radio goes off at his hip.

“That's my cue,” he says grabbing his jacket. “Cop stuff. It was nice meeting you. Feel free to hang out here until Barry gets back.”

“Thank you, Mr. West. It was nice meeting you as well.”

“Please, call me Joe.”

And like that, he's gone too. The house is quiet. You recall Iris mentioning that she was staying late at CCPN tonight. Frankly, you think she works far too much, but then again, that's why Iris is the best at what she does. When curiosity gets the better of you, you find yourself wandering around the house, and eventually, standing in Barry's room, admiring his knickknacks, collectibles, and photos. You pick up one of the framed photos with Barry, and who you believe to be his father, playing baseball. What a cute little kid he was. Torn jeans and grass stains. Freckled face and squinty eyes from smiling so hard. He was always that ball of sunshine, wasn't he?

“What are you doing here?”

You turn and see Barry himself behind you, surprised as hell. “Oh, sorry,” you say putting down the frame. “I- Joe said I could wait here for you. Not your bedroom, exactly, I was kind of wandering.”

“No I mean, why are you here? As soon as I left, I just knew you would have had it with me bailing again.” The poor baby looks so confused, so sad. As if this has happened before.

“Barry, I'm not going to lie, it did kind of bum me out,” you admit. “But then I thought, hey, I don't know what's going on in your life. And if it's something serious enough to be an “emergency,” I trust that one day, when you're ready, you'll feel comfortable enough to tell me what's going on.” He takes a couple steps toward you. “But in the meantime, I brought dessert!”

Barry's eyes are twinkling like you said a combination of magic words. He moves in close, takes your face in his hands, and kisses you in the way you've been wanting him to. It's deep, it's warm, it's perfect...

“How did I get to be so lucky with finding you?” His hands wrap around you pulling you closer to him.

“I don't know,” you sigh. “Thank the brute that bumped into me that day, I guess. Or else there'd be nothing but a big mess and a life void of you.”

Part 4

[rainbowrites]

SEASON 7 PRIMER

OH GOD @wellntruly YOU’RE AT SEASON 7 ALREADY???

WHERE DID THE TIME GO???

(into a depression hole that’s where, I have all your posts lined up ready to read and comment on I PROMISE it’s just that ye olde depresh then taps on my shoulder and says ‘what if, instead of doing this thing you love, you just dragged yourself to work, then went home and mindlessly clicked around doing nothin and hating yourself? doesn’t that sound BETTER?’ and I am like ‘wow that sounds awful!!! let’s do it!!!’ honestly car dealerships should hire my depression it is the best goddamn sales person ever)

BUT THE POINT IS

we are here, together at the end. It has been a long and winding road filled with lows (we wept with you and raged with you) and enormous highs (we laughed with you, we squealed and clapped our hands to our face in disbelieving joy with you) and some truly weird potholes (YOU FUCKING CASSANDRA YOU, SINGING THOSE JAGGED HOLES INTO BEING AND THEN SLAMMING THE SHIP WITH US ALL ON IT RIGHT INTO THEM)

it is the last season with DS9, but not our last season with you Tarra, not nearly. Legions awaits, and after that many more shows to delight in once again through you. But thank you for this amazing experience. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you

and without further ado, one last primer

7x01-7x02 A quieter opener than usual for DS9. Sisko is trying to find himself through finding the Prophets. DS9 is still deeply in grief for the ones they lost, and Worf leads a group of them on a search for blood sacrifice to honor Jadzia's death. 7x02 introduces ~THE NEW DAX~ Sisko and Dax together again as they roadtrip to find the Prophets! Things get incredibly fucking trippy as they travel through the desert in search of answers, as DS9 goes fucking ALL IN on the Jesus metaphors

7x03 Dax is back, but she's not the same Dax who died there and is struggling to find a new place in her old home. Unexpectedly, she ends up bonding with Garak as she tries to treat him for his claustrophobia

7x04 BASEBALL EPISODE!!!!! BASEBALL BASEBALL BASEBALLLLLLLLLLL

B A S E B A L L

7x05 Bashir is really really lonely. Things get a little uncomfortable as the Augments come back, and he desperately latches back onto them. It's a painful episode, in some sad ways and some cringey ways, but I appreciate how everyone involved understands how awful loneliness is and the terrible things it can drive you to do

7x06 This episode is why everyone loves Weyoun, as we finally explore what it means to be a vorta FEATURING TWO WEYOUN CLONES BITCHING AT EACH OTHER. B-plot is HILARIOUS AND AWESOME as Nog teaches O'Brien how to Ferengi his way through problems

7x07 what does it mean to be old in Klingon society?

7x08 Exactly what it sounds like, an intense episode as a bunch of the DS9 crew bunker down on an planet under attack for a siege. Pay extra attention to Nog in this episode

7x09 DUKAT THE CULT LEADER, in a super creepy episode he kidnaps Kira to try to induct her. This episode is literally just CULT CULT CULT for 40 min, as it delves into religion and also all the horrible things that can happen when your leader demands complete obedience. WARNING: suicide

7x10 a FANTASTIC episode with Nog dealing with PTSD by hiding in a holoprogram with Vic. Once again DS9 is unafraid to delve deeply into hard topics and does it beautifully

7x11 a Ezri episode that delves into her family backstory. It's a total mess of an episode that came about because they literally kept throwing out ideas until finally they had to write the whole episode in 2 days. But if you like Ezri, or you want more information about her to help you like her, then this is a good one to watch

7x12 the Ferengi go to Mirror-verse in a completely ridiculous episode that totally gives up the pretense of Mirror-verse being serious. My favorite part is Rom desperately trying to figure out what the rules of a MIRROR-verse are

7x13 This is definitely my least favorite episode of the entire DS9 run and I cannot in any way subjectively write this primer. I JUST HATE IT SO MUCH. Mostly because there is so much there that I love the idea of! Ezri hunting a serial killer by letting out her own serial killer past life - it's all very Hannibal and such a great idea. There's even a Vulcan character! But no. It's terrible and badly written and just... I hate it so much. I have very visceral memories of ending that episode feeling like betrayed by how much I hated it, from a series I love so much

7x14 I did NOT hate this episode, a beautiful Odo piece focusing on how much Odo has been suppressing himself to better fit in with the solid (non-Changeling) society he lives in as he meets a non-Dominion Changeling. It's a really fantastic episode that has lots of stuff about assimilation and the insidiousness of fear

7x15 HEIST EPISODE!! OCEAN'S 11 IN SPAAAAACE!!! This is such a fun episode, oh my god and it's your last silly romp before things get REAL as we careen towards the end of the series. GET TO WATCHING :DDD WARNING: Kira is so insanely attractive that you may have a heart attack, I know I always do

7x16 Section 31 returns! This is based on an ACTUAL John le Carre novel as Bashir the Spy tries to save the day by ousting the evil group and keeping Romulus safely in the Federation! Darker than I or Bashir expected it to be. Life isn't like the holoprograms...

7x17-7x26 the TEN PART finale!!!

7x17 Ben and Kassidy are HELLA CUTE! Worf and Dax are HELLA AWKARD!

7x18 this entire episode is a series of anguished NOOOOOOs. BEN NO. WORF NOOOO. WINN, SUPER DUPER NOOOOOOOO.

7x19 the theme of this episode is alliances, both literal (between Cardassia and the Dominion) and figurative (marriages, both past and present) and spiritual (Kai Winn struggles with her faith) and what they mean for both parties. Also, Damar's death wish becomes canon

7x20 you're going to cry in this episode. That’s it, that’s all I’m giving you

7x21 Kira is forced to help the Cardassians by teaching them the same rebellion techniques that she once used against them. Odo gets sick, and Bashir tries to figure out how and why

7x22 The Cardassian rebellion struggles, both with it's own identity and with having a Bajoran leader as Nana shows off some of her finest acting ever. Not to be outdone, Klingons are having their OWN revolution, because why not

7x23 Bashir and O'Brien infiltrate Section 31 to try to find a cure for Odo! and by infiltrate I mean they're going FULL INCEPTION

7x24 A new Grand Nagus is crowned! The rebellion gears up for its last stand in Garak's childhood home! WE BARREL FORWARD TOWARDS THE END

7x25 goodbye my darlings. you had an amazing run