“Oh God,” Shane puts his head in his hands, “That’s so bad. Shockingly, shockingly bad.”
A wobbly rendition of Total Eclipse of the Heart floats through the open doors of the local pub, invading the night with flat, tuneless melody. From our picnic bench on the docks, every karaoke performance has been crystal clear. We hear every note, every fumbled lyric and pre-emptive, spirited launch into the chorus even though there’s an entire verse to go. Jen swore that we’d have more fun as a group if we went in and watched it, complete with the overdramatic physical performances, but Shane objected. He says he has a hard time coping with embarrassing things. He can’t watch other people fail miserably, and while I’m the opposite and thrive on it, I still prefer our seats at this comfortable distance, right by the barrier to the sea where the fishing boats bob serenely on black water. Being away from the karaoke minimises the chances that Liam will force me to include myself. I can’t sing. I am completely tone deaf, so it’s better that I steer clear of that microphone and all others.
I didn’t want to come out tonight anyway, I’ve been pretty tied up with all my wallowing, but Jen refused to take no for an answer, the same way that she has refused to let me order spirits from the bar. It’s beer for me only until she can trust me to act reasonably again. Not that I’ve made any attempts to contact Michelle since last week's ordeal, not even through email, where sometimes, when I log on to contact various students in Berlin about housing, I see her name there and the last email I ever sent her. It was just study materials, and I should delete them and move on, but I can’t. I’m stuck. it feels too final.
But the night is clear and the conversations are flowing, and if I don’t think about anything outside of my immediate experience then one could argue that things are going well, that there's no need for me to feel unsettled. What’s not to love about a night by the water with friends? It’s what the summer is for. I should be trying harder to enjoy myself.
There’s distant chatter as two girls step out of the bar. I recognise them. It’s Kelly and her friend from the tennis court. The blonde one. Shane perks up in recognition and waves. She waves back.
“Who’s that?” I ask him.
“Claire. My sister’s friend.”
“Right, from school or something?”
“Yeah, from Tullamore.”
They’re coming over now, at least Claire is while Kelly drags her feet behind and does her best to look disinterested, but if Claire notices her friend's reluctance she doesn’t show it. She’s smiling, a wide, even smile as she hops onto the dock and greets us all with a confident, “Hello everyone!”
Shane runs a hand over the top of his head, “Hi, were you- were ye in doing the karaoke and stuff like that?”
“Yeah, well, I didn’t sing because I’m awful at it, but Kelly did.”
Kelly, hanging back in the shadows, grunts and keeps her arms crossed.
“Oh, was that you caterwauling Bonnie Tyler just there?” He teases, “Sounding absolutely diabolical?”
“No,” she snips, “I sang something else, Claire, can we just go sit over there or something?”
“Yeah in a minute. You didn’t feel like singing, Shane, no?”
“No,” he laughs self consciously, “I don’t think you’d have liked to have heard that. I’m no singer at all. I’d be brutal.”
“Ah c’mon, I’m sure that’s not true! Sure you're good at everything.” She’s got a very sing-songy, country kind of accent, high and feminine, but what’s most interesting about her voice is the things it seems to do to Shane. Every time she speaks to him his cheeks turn pinker.
“Ah, well, no,” he lets out a goofy laugh and goes back to touching his hair, “I don’t think anybody would have liked to hear me,” He peers around her for a moment and looks back towards the pub, “Where’s Evie?”
“Oh, she’s with Liam.”
A pause, “Oh right. As in, they’re singing?”
“They were,” Kelly pipes up, “But they went off.”
“Off where?”
“To shift.”
“Evie is shifting Liam?”
“Yeah. Who else would do it?”
This tickles Joe, “Aw lads! Liam is off with some girl? That’s so funny. What do you think is wrong with her? Blind? Would you say? Or blind and deaf?”
Kasper laughs once the joke is explained to him, and I make a deliberate point of not joining in, because Jen’s warning eyes are on me like a hawk. I will be nice to Liam this summer. I will.
We hang out with Claire for a while, chatting and pretending we’re not aware of Shane’s blatant crush on her while Kelly sulks on another bench alone, pointedly checking the time on her flip phone and sighing about how they’d better get back to the caravan park soon.
Claire doesn’t notice, and I find it satisfying.
Eventually we break off into our own conversations and let Shane and Claire talk on their own, and I wonder if he’s going to do anything about it this summer, if he’ll ever find the courage. Shane’s always been shy with girls, it’s just how he is. Always reluctant, always hanging in the background waiting until he’s absolutely sure about any mutual feelings to say anything to them. Maybe focussing on him like some sort of project would help to keep my mind off my own stuff. Is that a normal thing to think?
Claire raises a hand and calls to someone behind us. We turn around, and it’s just Liam. Liam, holding hands with a girl, which is interesting because it’s an unusual sight, but not interesting enough to interrupt my conversation with Jen. I look away and continue talking about the things I’ve been googling about Berlin.
“You can’t mow your lawn on Sunday, that’s another thing.” I say, and she scrunches up her face, “You don’t mow the lawn.”
“Yes but if I wanted to, I couldn’t.”
“I’m sure you could, they might just frown upon it.”
“It seems restrictive though, doesn’t it?”
A shrug, “Maybe they respect silence. And in that case you might have a hard time fitting in.”
“I can be silent.”
“You can’t even whisper normally,”
“What? I can. Yes I can.”
Shane, who is now standing by the end of the table with Claire, Liam and his girl-friend, throws an arm around the brunette’s and interrupts us before I can argue my case and prove to Jen just how well I can whisper.
“Lads, this is Evie by the way. She’s another one of Kelly’s friends from home in Tullamore.”
We have to do the whole thing of going around the table and introducing ourselves, even though I don’t really have much interest in who this random girl is. “Jude,” I say when we get to me, and Jen gives me a tight smile like I should be making more effort. What else does she want from me? This whole being nice thing is starting to feel akin to a totalitarian regime.
“Good to meet you,” Evie says with a smile. She’s tense and overly formal.
“Good to meet you too.”
Claire leaps in excitedly, “Shane was telling me about the house they’ve all been staying in. It sounds unreal. It’s way up the beach where all those modern mansion places are, they’ve got a big outdoor deck and a fire and everything.”
“Sounds cool,” Evie says, and then Shane explains that it belongs to my parents, that they’ve let us use it for the summer while leaving out all the juicy bits about how they can’t risk being trapped in it together for the summer in case they kill each other, which is why the care of it has fallen to me. All I have to do is make sure that it doesn’t get damaged, that the roof tiles don't fly off in a storm or something. I realise I forgot to clean the puddle off the floor two weeks ago, and remind myself to check if the timber has any marks when we get home.
Claire goes on, “You were just saying though, Shane, that we could go up and hang out with ye all some time?”
Shane scratches the back of his neck and shuffles about looking awkward. I wonder if he was trying to invite her over alone.
But Jen comes to the rescue. “Ugh, yes please.” She says. “I’m getting sick of hanging out with only boys, so I’d be delighted if the two of you came up to visit.”
Evie glances at Kelly, forgotten but not gone, still on the bench. “Maybe three of us?”
“If she’ll be seen with us.” Shane calls over his shoulder, and his sister flips her middle finger at him.
I’m amused. Three of them? Are they forgetting the obvious fourth party? “Four of you, including Liam?” I say.
“Oh yeah, well, obviously I thought that went without saying,” Evie smiles at him, tucking hair behind her ears and he smiles back. He’s delighted. He feels lucky. He’s got a smudge of her makeup on the shoulder of his t-shirt.
“They’re cute, aren’t they?” Jen murmurs.
“Hm? Oh, yeah. I suppose.” I say. “Haven't really thought about it.”
Beginning // Prev // Next
Corresponding LG chapter
34 notes
·
View notes