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it's because i wouldn't let you kill the bounty hunter isn't it
#he's so mean 2 me#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#bg3 tav#these files were titled 'asstarion' on my computer#that'll show him#managed to redress my finger so i can draw#but seeing as this is my first time drawing asstarion i'm not gonna go full lineart and colour#it was fun though he's got a great face#hate drawing his hair though#sorry you don't want to fuck me astarion#sorry you don't have good taste 😤#also i gave my tav pure black eyes and now every time he frowns it looks like he's got these big puppydog eyes i love him so much
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
Plain-text version:
Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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here's a thought:
tsukishima kei is mean. he complains that you talk too much, laughs when you flunk your tests, and insists that you're clingy. others wonder why you're even with him.
but they don't know that when he tsks at your rambling, he shifts one side of his headphones away to hear your voice. they don't know that even though he teases you for your low test scores, he would stay up late at night just to tutor you till you'd get it right. they don't know that after rolling his eyes at your affection, he places a chaste kiss on your forehead and hides his red face in your hair.
so when they say you deserve better, you laugh at their cluelessness and state with a smile, "he's more than everything i could ever want." and he falls in love with you all over again.
#tsukishima x reader#tsukishima x you#tsukishima kei x reader#tsukishima kei#haikyuu tsukishima#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu#tsukishima kei is bad at feelings#but he tries#and i love him for that#this was so spontaneous#5am thoughts#i woke up and chose to be down bad#tsukishima kei fluff#pure fluff#i want to cry#can you tell that he means everything to me
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pick your battles
#my art#my stuff#art#comic#original art#pride 2024#pride month#trans allegory..... or not even allegory. just trans .... ^_^#i technically cannot come out yet but i don't think the people who i need to not see this stalk my tumblr#i know they stalk everything else like my twitter and my instagram but this might be safe#so fuck it we yap. this is a comic about picking your battles#this is a comic about how for almost a year now everyone at home in singapore has been crying about my sore throat#my terrible fucked up voice. my you know. etc#i came out as not cis and using they/them pronouns in 2015 when i was 14#but no one ever used my pronouns. none of my classmates or friends even up until i left for college in 2020#from 2020 onwards every year i wrote an angry vulnreable essay about how much it hurts that they dont remember#and people would dm me apologizing on their hands and knees and commending my bravery#and then forget about it all over again. id ont mean 'they misgender me and then catch it and apologize and correct themselves'#i mean they dont even get that far#and so you might ask yourself: why have you kept them around all this time?#and i would have to explain that by pure bad luck i grew up in the most conservative close minded community#that all of my ex classmates that stayed in singapore are cishet and upper middle class and chinese singaporean#that i Am the trans person. that they were able to ignore me for a decade partially because there was no one else#so this is a comic about how there is dignity and grace in staying in the closet sometimes#about how not everyone deserves to see you at your happiest. about how some people can go fuck themselves#you know your truth and THATS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS!!! YEAH!!! i love you
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one thing about shawn spencer is he’s going to square up for the underdog. the lawyer in cloudy with a chance of murder. the bank robber in gus walks into a bank. lying ryan in truer lies. even lassiter in lassie did a bad bad thing. he will take one look at a pathetic little man and say ���is anyone going to stand in front of him and protect him from evil and prove he is telling the truth despite the odds being against him?” and then not wait for an answer. you go girl, you project those self esteem issues like the king that you are 😔✊
#special shout outs to: pierre despereaux. nick conforth. the guy who thought he was a werewolf. the polar bear.#the mentally ill billionaire. juliet’s dad. etc etc#oh and gus obv but he will always believe gus#he says i know what it’s like to need so desperately for someone to believe you#and i will be that person#and is he wrong sometimes? maybe. but he is pure of both heart and intention <3#god i love him#shawn spencer#psych#psych tv#psych 2006#em saying things
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Bucky pinning you down so you can’t squirm and he’s just sitting inside you while he tortures your clit feeling you clench around him. He makes you cum over and over until he finally cums.
Overstimulation + super soldier stamina = …
- 🍯
Dear God, I know I just don't have it in me to behave during cock-warming. When it comes down to it, I genuinely have no patience at all 😵💫
"You..." Bucky begins, pressing you down onto the bed before gripping your ankles and forcing you to flip over onto your front. "Have a problem with control."
With your face turned away from him, you can't help but smile to yourself. No one has ever said it out loud but you know he's right.
Being in control is where you're most comfortable. No hands are safer than your own. Except maybe his. You know he won't fuck this up.
"And you..." He continues, gathering your wrists behind your back, holding them tightly with one hand. "Need to learn how it feels to have control taken from you. Do you understand?"
As soon as you begin to nod your head, you feel him start to tape around your wrists, holding them together behind your back. Once he's content they're secure, he sits on the edge of the bed, facing the mirror before he pulls you onto his lap.
"Legs spread over the top of mine." He orders and you do as you're told, not because you have to but because you want to.
You notice the way your cunt is already glistening in the mirror and you're almost embarrassed because he hasn't even touched you yet.
"Fuck, you're made for this." He groans, lining his cock up to your slick entrance and you wonder if he's holding his breath too while he slides into you, as deep as your bodies will allow.
You're obsessed with the sight in front of you; your own naked body, with your legs spread so far apart you can see how your cunt is stuffed full of him.
Being shorter though, your feet can't touch the ground like this. There's no way you'll get enough leverage to fuck yourself on him but as soon as you start to tell him that, he silences you with two thick fingers between your lips.
"I'm not letting you fuck me." His free hand roams over your body, squeezing your breasts, pinching your nipples and then settling between your spread thighs.
"I'm going to play with you. I'm going to see how much you can take. I'm going to work out exactly how you like your clit stroked and I'm going to do that until your legs are shaking and your body won't let you cum any more. Maybe then I'll fuck you but sweetheart, that will be hours from now." His breath is hot against the side of your face, his fingers slipping from your mouth to your waist while he starts to flick gently against your clit.
"I'm going to start slowly. I'm going to do everything I can to drag this out as long as possible. I can feel every clench and flutter of this pretty little cunt and I'm going to enjoy it until you're dripping over my balls." At this rate, it won't be long until you're dripping onto the carpet, never mind over him. You dreamed he'd want to take control like this but you never imagined the way your body would respond.
"And then, when you've cum more times than you can handle, I'm going to tell you that I love you while I fuck you like I don't."
Update: Part 2
#asks answered <3#becca writes spice#🍯 anon#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes x reader smut#dom!bucky#I think this might be one of my favourites that I've written recently#That last line has been my go - to fantasy this week#it's come into my head every morning when I'm walking to the train#and I planned to write an exploration of it today#but you know#I like it just left there like that for now#I've spent most of my free time trying to book a mid-week city break#but I don't know where to start#I got a new piercing this week and I love it!!#but I was in work on Friday talking about it#and our graphic designer asked how many piercings I had#so I told him I have 8. So 3 in each ear#and the expression on his face was just pure maths#he didn’t question it lmao
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the gerudo outfits are always my favorite
#i know its armor but. can you call the botw one an armor. i mean#legend of zelda#tears of the kingdom#link#totk#eye strain#dont look at this too closely i have drawn this purely to overcome art block#i love this boy so much#i cant even play the games bc i am POOR and dont own a switch but ive watched soooo many gameplays#he’s such a little guy. tiny little guy who fits in my pocket#ele’s art#artists on tumblr
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What drives me even more insane about this scene is how you'd expect Gojo to imagine High school era! Geto in the crowd. Or at least not the cult leader, worst of all the curse users Geto Suguru. But no, it's the cult leader Geto. It's Geto as Gojo last remembered him. As Geto last was. Whatever choices Geto made, wherever his choices led him and them, however he was, whoever he was, traumas and messed up ideas and bad choices and ill reputations and scorns and all. Gojo wanted Geto Suguru there. Not any ideal version. Not any "what if" version. Not any "at some point in time before things went downhill" version. Not any "when your hands weren't stained with innocent blood" version. He knew very well what he wanted. And he wanted it all the same. He wanted Geto Suguru. However he was. He just wanted him to be there. He just wanted him to be.
And he didn't want him to help him, he didn't want him to fight with him even if they were strongest together and always fought together for a while. He just wanted him to be there in the crowd and cheer him on. He just wanted him to stand there and give him one of his sweet, heartwarming smiles that shaped his eyes into crescent moons. He just wanted him to be. Then even if Gojo had died in the end anyway, he would have been satisfied. It would have been worth it. Only if Geto was there.
#his love is so pure! it's so real! it drives me insane!#'this is pure love' playing in the background while Gojo said his last words to Geto before his death was a perfect choice!#people died because the strongest sorcerer alive didn't make any move against his batshit boyfriend for 10 years#then couldn't burn his body after he had to kill him. and then froze like a deer in spotlight after he saw his body in the subway#and the same thing is true for Geto his dead body literally came to life to protect Gojo#(the very first case among Kenjaku's many hosts during centuries) even after Gojo had killed him! and he bore no grievance towards Gojo#even in his last moment. to the point that even Nanako & Mimiko knew that Geto had no problem dying by Gojo's hands.#'Whether you come as a lover or an executioner I am ready to receive you.'#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#geto suguru#suguru geto#satosugu#gege akutami#my two cents
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"White Lily Cookie Harem isn't real it can't hurt you."
White Lily Cookie Harem:
Now that the Elder Fairy is finally in-game, even with Cotton-Sherbet treatment, I can finally post these silly sketches I did since Beast Yeast just released. I added Mercurial Knight recently lol.
My existential crisis girl accidentally collected male-wife kings like collecting Pokemon wheezzzeeee
#Lol I love it when my biases has their harem#I kinda think Silverbell and Mercurial are cute have you seen those little comics about Siverbell sending long as heck letter to Mercurial?#dollya art#cookie run kingdom#white lily cookie#pure vanilla cookie#elder faerie cookie#dark cacao cookie#silverbell cookie#mercurial knight cookie#purelily#elderlily#cacaolily#god damn there are so many tags but I should do it just in case#white lily crk#pure vanilla crk#dark cacao crk#pure vanilla x white lily#elder faerie x white lily#dark cacao x white lily#non dol posting
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Summer vacation, 4am.
Tons of easter eggs in this one! Click the image to find them (and for better quality ofc)
Close ups and process shots under the cut, description in alt text
#it's all post canon of course#btw you can't see but the paper on the floor has an episode description written on it#it's ep 53.5 which I made up. what's the plot you ask? pure fluff and highschool shenanigans. these kids deserve it#check out Taylor's Matryoshka shirt and Linc's Garfield pullover :3#also the building on the right may or may not be a Sonic's distribution center#I love being not-usamerican and just going on google streetview to research the San Dimas area.. looking at parking lots going ''ah! I see'#also#this one took me literal months... the cart's perspective was so hard to get right#so I just sat and stared at it for a couple minutes - added a couple of lines and erased some others - and then closed off my sketchbook lo#dndads#dungeons and daddies#dndaddies#dndads s2#scary marlowe#lincon li wilson#link li wilson#normal oak#normally oak swallows garcia#normal oak garcia#taylor swift dungeons and daddies#taylor swift dndads#taylor swift not that one#my art#yuviur
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Sorry if some of these overlap a little/if I left out something obvious kajbdsjkd I tried my best haha. And that's why there's an "other" option!
#coffeebanana polls#personally i think i'm good at writing emotions!#and that's funny to me because growing up i was very much not an emotional person#i had to sort of learn to value emotional intelligence as opposed to pure logic. and i probably repressed some things kjabdfskj#so i'm proud that emotions come through in my writing!#fiction has always been something i can use to connect emotionally even when i struggled doing that irl#and i think that's really cool#anyways i'm looking forwards to seeing what you all love about your writing!!!
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Would you have fallen in love with her?
#dimension 20#dimension 20 spoilers#d20 neverafter#neverafter#ylfa snorgelsson#prince gerard of greenleigh#elody of greenleigh#fanart#my art#am i done thinking about this entire conversation? no#god. this moment for no reason got me crying#and that line too. ylfa's so so pure#she loved you for more than you could hop? and#and gerard's little chuckle and yes#stomp on my heart why don't you
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I want it back / I drag its dead weight forward.
#Better drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#digital art#This was a style experimentation doodle that took on a life of its own.#In a way it is a great example of 'beautiful failure'. The original goal was to try a pure black and white contrast piece.#Which I very much failed at doing. Not quite ready for that! However what this turned into is something I like a lot!#Different but in a way that really pushed me as an artist. A little less simple; a little more proportional.#I was also recently thinking about LWJ's grieving that we only catch glimpses of.#LWJ grieved his first love for 13 years. His love that was never reciprocated.#He chose to dedicate his heart to that mourning and most painfully of all - he did so knowing there was no end to that grief.#Wei Wuxian comes back to life in MDZS but that is an exception. Not the expectation.#He was dead. Not missing. Not 'maybe in hiding'. He was dead and his spirit unreachable.#Jiang Cheng went forwards with denial but LWJ takes that grief on. He copes by continuing to carry the weight with him.#Let me be clear. Neither are healthy approaches. It is a way to cope but it does not mean that is healing or healthy.#Grief is loved transformed but it is also about endurance and letting go. Grief can change you. You can also change your grief.#It isn't a good or evil thing to experience. It is just an experience.
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Time bastard, You got some place else to be?
#can’t believe the first piece of serious starkid fanart Iv done in 4 years is of a man who canonically has a P hub premium account#can you tell I have no idea how to do dramatic lighting? it was done purely on vibes and bullshit#anyway this took like 6 days so any love you show it would be highly appreciated x#btw the person obscured by the cube is Charlotte - she’s still there in spirit#ted spankoffski#theodore spankoffski#tinky#t’noy karaxis#the guy who didn't like musicals#tgwdlm#tgwdlm starkid#tgwdlm fanart#starkid#starkid fanart#team starkid#time bastard#starkid time bastard#nightmare time#starkid nightmare time#hatchetfield nightmare time#time bastard nightmare time#hatchetfield#hatchetfield universe#hatchetverse#nmt#nmt2#nightmare time 2#joey richter#fanart#my art
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FUDGECAKE-CHARLIE COMING BACK WITH A STEEL CHAIR AND A DREAM‼️‼️💥
was itching to paint so i cracked open rebelle again and did some portraits/studies for hermits i haven't drawn in. a while
#welsknight#cubfan135#hermitcraft#i'll be real with you the reference for wels was really plainly lit w white so i made it lavender for funsies. happy pride!! /j#rebelle i love you and i hate you. can you tell i did cub first... can you tell i had to whip out the CSP liquify tool afterwards lmfao#yes i did this purely because of that last reblog <3 sometimes you just gotta be reminded of the joy of painting!! go make something!#art out the oven
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the vessel discovers one of life's simple joys: small plush toy.
a little doodle of a scene from ch 18 of @queruloustea's that makes two of us, then - please please read this fic, it's so lovely. i want to do something nicer and more involved for it but i am still adjusting to drawing Bugs and Bugs Interacting so it will have to wait until i'm more confident :')
#hollow knight#the hollow knight#pure vessel#quirreI is just offscreen having an existential crisis but he is one of the aforementioned Bugs i am still learning to draw.#by god i need to do him justice. it is Important.#also if you're reading this queruloustea hello hi! i hope you don't mind the tag and a little fanart :')#i simply love how you write this creature and it inspires so many thoughts. shrimp emotions#tmtout
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