#THEY CHOSE THE FUNNIEST WAY POSSIBLE

[chaoticlava101]

Bucktommy incorrect quote canon!

[topazcarbuncle]

They’re so real to me this conversation plays in my head constantly and I had to exorcise it from my brain

[tinyjellyfishy]

How i be imagining pate

[desperatepleasures]

one cool thing about me is that my phone is broken so today i venmo'd my coworker $0.50 so i could tell her that one of our least favorite clients got fired

[hannieehaee]

18+ / mdi

content: newrelationship!vernon, miscommunication, afab reader, smut, virgin reader, inexperienced reader, dry humping, fingering, etc.

wc: 3040

a/n: had a thought abt this so i decided to write it. hope u like <3

masterlist

vernon wasn't sure what he was doing wrong.

god, he was just so into you, but he didn't know what to do anymore.

you'd been dating for a bit over two months by now, and it had been perfect. you'd spent almost every day together, never spending a dull moment by each other's sides. and god, was be obsessed with you. he felt like a bit of a loser, with how horribly down bad he was for you, but he couldn't help himself, okay? you were the prettiest girl he had ever seen. it didn't help that you were also the smartest, funniest, sexiest- okay he'll stop now. he still wasn't sure what exactly he had done to bag you, but he wasn't about to question his good fortune.

that was where his problem laid, actually.

despite two months of perfect love (was it too soon for him to say that?), the two of you had yet to have sex - or do anything remotely sexual in general. he'd had the privilege of holding you in his arms as you slept a few times now, and even the pleasure of feeling your lips against his as you endlessly sighed against his mouth when you'd kiss (something that got him going immediately - the feeling of your pliant form against him and your soft lips chasing after his), but he was yet to hit any other base with you.

the sheer desperation he felt for you made him feel terrible. vernon was nothing if not a respectful man. he wanted nothing more than to make you feel as comfortable as possible, never expressing any type of complaint whenever you pulled away or stopped him if things were getting too far for your liking. like last week.

you'd both been on his couch watching a movie together. it was all fine and dandy until you decided to pull his head towards you, suddenly planting a kiss against his lips. you did this quite often, actually. you seemed to really enjoy kissing vernon, something he would never say no to. like any reasonable person, he met you with equal enthusiasm, swallowing your soft moans while he shared a few groans right back into your mouth.

this went on for about fifteen minutes, making him lightheaded at your proximity. his hands were on your waist while yours played with his hair. he had moved you to sit on his lap about ten minutes ago, now having your weight atop his lap while he willed his boner away. it didn't take long for him to begin to get fidgety, deciding to begin a trail of kisses down your neck. your reaction had his breath catching in his throat. he had never heard such pretty moans in his life. it seemed like you were enjoying it as much as he was, tilting your head to the side to give him more room to kiss and suck at. it all went well, until his hands began to wander a bit.

you immediately placed them back on your waist, not giving any other reaction or indication as to why. about ten minutes later when you had finally grown too tired of making out, you separated from one another. you whispered a shy 'sorry' to him before cuddling back into him as you had been thirty minutes ago. he chose not to question it, simply pulling you even closer to his side.

~

next time it happened it was a bit more embarrassing. you'd woken up together after he had stayed over at your place. you had immediately jumped him, kissing him with intensity he hadn't met before. he wasn't an idiot, so he kissed back, taking anything you were willing to give him. it was filthy, really. just a mess of tongues and even some heavy petting over your clothes.

he was so sure this time you'd want more. that you'd finally at least let him have the unimaginable pleasure of some over-the-clothes action. he would give even with some dry humping. he was incredibly hard, which was already embarrassing on it's own. what made it even more embarrassing, however, was your squeak and the way you backed away the moment you felt his hardness against your leg. there were no words exchanged, just widened eyes starting at one another. the silence was only broken when vernon quickly grumbled out an apology along with a short 'i'll, uh, go take care of it. my bad' before leaving the room and locking himself in your bathroom.

after a less than gratifying session with his fist in your tiny bathroom, he came back to you, ears still burning red and eyes meeting the floor.

"vernon, fuck. i'm sorry, i just wasnt-"

"its fine!", he interrupted (very stupidly, by the way), "you dont have to explain anything. did you, uh, wanna get breakfast or something?"

you smiled back at him, seemingly thankful that he had given you an out, "yeah, sure nonnie."

~

next time had been the last one. the last instance that truly broke vernon. it had also been an accident, but a fortunate one at that.

vernon already had a key to your apartment. sure, you'd only been dating for a short time, but in both of your defenses, you'd been friends for a while before that, so this just seemed like a logical course of action. vernon had the tendency to drop by your apartment unannounced. he hated texting and was usually too lazy to call, so he had grown accustomed to just popping by. thus far, it had never been an issue. sometimes you'd be caught off guard, but for the most part it didnt go past you playfully slapping his chest and telling him to make some type of noise in order to not give you a heart attack; advice he seemingly did not take. not even today.

he was too quiet, even to a fault. he walked in, not making any type of noise and immediately seeking you out. you weren't in the living room, which meant you could only be in your room. he wished he could've checked the kitchen or the restroom first. maybe then you could've had more time to prepare, but that's not what happened. what happened, however, was that vernon unsuspectedly walked into your room only to find you pantless, with your hand up your cunt, groaning in frustration at yourself - something that had him tilting his head in confusion despite the sheer shock.

he couldn't really see anything too compromising due to the oversized shirt you were wearing covering your crotch itself, but he wasn't an idiot, he knew what having your hand down there meant. you were touching yourself. and it wasn't going well. you hadn't noticed him yet. his eyes were still wide, gasp trapped in his throat before unwillingly releasing it the moment you looked up, probably having felt his presence.

you jumped back in place, grabbing a pillow to cover between your legs before you started yelling at him.

"v-vernon?! what the fuck?! what are you doing here?"

he stayed frozen for a few seconds before finally snapping out of his trance, eyes still glued to your nether area despite the pillow playing the role of a barrier between his eyes and your cunt.

"uh, i, fuck. im sorry, i-"

"stop staring at me!", you put your arms over your face, covering yourself while also making yourself as small as possible due to embarrassment. fuck, vernon felt so terrible at making you feel ashamed that he'd caught you in the act. he hadn't meant to, truly!

"wait, no! don't- it's okay! i'm so sorry," against his better judgment, he walked over to you, sitting next to you on your bed. you hadnt asked him to leave, and you seemed vulnerable, so he assessed that the best move right now would be to try and comfort you.

you slowly looked up at him, hair a mess and obvious tears on your face. your face was also slightly flushed, indicating that you had been crying out of embarrassment. fuck, that was so adorable.

"you don't have to be embarrassed, it- it's fine. i'm sorry i didnt knock, i shouldve called beforehand like you told me. i know im probably overstepping a boundary here, but we've been dating for a while, i know you dont want to go there with me yet, but theres no need to be embarra-"

'it's not- vernon. i do want to have sex with you.'

"h- huh? you do?"

you did?! had he been reading you wrong this whole time? were you just playing hard to get or something? no, that didn't really sound like you.

you turned to face him, making sure your shirt still hid your naked bottom as you did so, "yes, vernon, i just ... fuck, its so embarrassing. ive just never had sex before ..." you looked anywhere but into his eyes as you said this, clearly ashamed of the revelation.

"i- that's it? you're a virgin? babe, you know i don't care about that, right?"

"it's not just that, nonnie. i ... i've never ...." the second half of your statement was too mumbled for him to understand.

"what was that?"

"dont make me say it again!"

"babe, i didnt hear you, i swear. just tell me, baby, cmon. id never judge you, you know that."

you sighed, now deciding to sit up fully and look straight into his eyes, "ive never had an orgasm."

oh. oh.

"r-really?"

"see! you think its weird! that's why i was so frustrated before you came in. it just- it just doesnt work. i dont know what it is. there's something clearly wrong with me," you were growing more and more exasperated by the minute, "ive never gone past second base with any boyfriend because of this. theyve all thought i was weird or broken or something, i'm just-"

"hey, hey. don't think like that. you're not broken. there's nothing wrong with it. if you dont like sex, that's-"

"but i do, vernon. i want to have sex with you!", you gasped at your own statement as soon as it left your mouth, showing clear embarrassment in your face, but you continued after collecting yourself, "i want to have sex. i just .. i dont know what to do. ive tried everything. there's something wrong with me. im sorry, vernon. i want to be with you so bad, - ive been wanting to go further with you - but i just didnt want to disappoint you like everyone else."

vernon was a bit devastated by your dejected demeanor. had every single ex of yours just given up on you? did they not even try to pull an orgasm out of you? the thought made him sad. then came the thought of you touching yourself night after night only to come out empty handed, with no orgasm nor pleasure to show for your efforts. that thought made him shudder. he thought about how well he could've taken care of you. how well he currently wanted to take care of you.

"baby ... you could never disappoint me. fuck, this whole time i thought you just didnt want to be with me. i- i'm sorry if i ever made you feel pressured. ill do things at whatever pace you want. just ... you're not weird. you're not broken, okay? im sorry anyone ever made you feel that way. im sorry no one ever took their time with you," he was genuinely apologetic over it. he had been thinking with his dick this whole time, not once stopping to consider that you had your reasons; very valid ones at that.

"thank you, vernon. i really appreciate it, really," you replied before pausing, taking a shaky breath before continuing, "you ... do you ... uh .."

"yeah, baby? what is it?"

"do you want to have sex? fuck, im sorry. i know that's such an unsexy way to ask. im sorry ive made this whole situation so uncomfortable. i should've just told you, or maybe just-"

he hummed against your lips as he interrupted your nervous rambling with a kiss, "hmm. baby. don't even worry about it. you didnt ruin anything. and you're the sexiest person alive, i ... i think about you all the time. ill take whatever you give me. anything is more than enough, okay?"

that seemed to make you get a little shy once again, "y-yeah. okay, thank you vernon."

vernon could tell what you wanted. i mean, you had literally told him you wanted to have sex with him. you just seemed to need some help getting there. he decided to save you any further embarrassment (even though in reality, he only found your shy demeanor adorable) and close the gap of your lips again.

he kissed you as softly and sensually as he could, pulling all stops to get you keening against him. within only some moments he was already hovering over you on your bed, your shirt ridden up to show your bare lower half. he began to sneak his hands over your shirt, slow enough to allow you to push him off if you wanted to. which you did. except it was only temporary, taking off your shirt altogether before pulling his lips back to yours, making the kiss grow even more intense.

vernon couldnt help moaning against your mouth the moment you moved his hands to play with your bare breasts, wrapping your legs around his waist and doing your best to incite him into humping against you. he didnt need any convincing, immediately digging his clothed crotch into yours. he fell in love with your soft moans, ones he had never heard before.

"nonnie ..." god, you were going to kill him. he wasnt even in you and he already felt like he was going to explode. but his priority right now was showing you that you weren't broken; that you were perfectly deserving of a mind-blowing orgasm.

"can i show you, baby? can i show you how to touch yourself?" he was completely serious too. he wanted not only to give you pleasure but also show you how to seek it on your own. he pictured you thinking about him when you were alone at night, fingers deep in your cunt as you-

"show me? what do you mean?"

"wanna teach you how to get there. can i?", he sat up, doing messy work of pulling off his pants and taking off his shirt, leaving himself in just his boxers before pulling you to sit up with him. he then guided you to sit on top of him as he sat against the headboard. your back was against his chest, with his arms now wrapped around you.

"nonnie ..."

"yeah, baby? whats wrong?", he was now allowing his hands to feel you up, loving how you arched against him the moment his fingers landed on your nipples, lightly pinching at them while he kissed your neck.

"im nervous ... im sorry, i know its dumb."

"its not dumb. is this okay? want me to slow down?"

"no! its fine. youre- you're perfect. i promise."

"okay. im gonna start now, then, okay?", he allowed one of his hands to sneak down, landing right where your cunt began, "im just gonna rub it for now, okay, baby? we'll go step by step."

"o-okay."

he rubbed at you, stopping by your clit every so often just to hear you mewl his name. he allowed his other hand to stay on your tits in the meantime, figuring that it was a sensitive spot for you that would also help you get there. you were extremely wet too, which gave him the idea that he was doing well so far. he had full confidence that he could make you cum. the thought of giving you your first orgasm did things to him.

"gonna put a finger in, okay? gon-"

"two! i can take it, nonnie, i swear. i ... i can already feel it."

"yeah? two? okay, baby. anything you want."

he had meant to start slow and build up his rhythm, but he was met with your desperate cunt chasing after his fingers every time he'd slow down. he figured you were ready for something more intense, so he began to give it his all.

"n-nonnie! fuck!" you grew limp against him, unable to control your moans of pleasure for him. you were beginning to tighten around him, which let him know all he needed to know.

"i- nonnie, i feel ... i feel weird. its so ... fuck ... its so good, nonnie! dont stop. fu- fuck! please!" you were getting progressively more desperate, specially as vernon began to play with your clit once more.

"cum, baby. wanna feel you, fuck. want my pretty girl to feel good," he pistoned his fingers in and out of you, making sure to curl them perfectly in order to hit that spot.

"n-nonnie! fuck!"

he let out a sigh of relief at the feeling of your orgasm invade you, pulling his fingers out immediately to suck at them in a depraved manner he wasn't even aware he had in him. by the time he was done, your orgasm had worn down, leaving you panting against him.

"that ... shit, vernon."

"i told you. told you you weren't broken. fuck, can't believe none of those assholes never even fingered you properly."

"yeah .. i mean, i also never-"

"shh, baby. none of it was your fault. now you know, right? next time you need it, you know how to do it. or, you know, just call me," you bad turned around by now, still sitting on him but now facing him as he spoke.

"thank you, vernon. im sorry i made you feel like i didnt want you," you pouted at him, "god, i cant believe i missed out on that for so long."

"right? uh, anything else you want me to show you?"

you threw him a flirty smile, sensually running your hands up and down his torso, "i had a few ideas, actually."

his eyes widened, "shit, really?"

"yeah ... there's a few other things i need to learn. teach me?"

he had never been more ready (and horny) for anything else before.

[yzzart]

day off, and just enjoy!

pairing: tom blyth x actress!reader.

summary: you and Tom try to enjoy your free time with each other's company and competing against each other.

word count: 1.315!

notes: a more domestic, relaxed scenario ran through my head and i felt i needed to write it down. — i hope you like and enjoy

"The right amount is seven cards, right?" — Shuffling the cards, trying to adjust them to be distributed in a random order and not letting any go uncontrolled, your boyfriend asked.

Replying to some messages, and some tweets that Rachel chose to make and tagging you, and then, sharing your latest post on your story, — Coincidentally, in the same second, Tom's cell phone vibrates with a notification. — you take your attention away from the device, turning it off, and direct your eyes to your boyfriend.

"Right!" — Your head nodded in confirmation, and your fingers tapped, lightly, on the wooden table. — "There is another way to play with more cards but I think this is better." — And it seemed to be more complicated and a little more time-consuming, like that, you thought.

It was their time off, some moments of rest and focusing on things and opportunities that could distract your minds. — Since the premiere of 'The ballad of songbirds and snakes', there have been extremely long and very busy days with so many interviews, presentations, participation in programs and premiere nights; which were incredible, brought different emotions to each of the cast and so much pleasure and happiness. — The union, the feeling of everyone being together was unique and inexplicable.

Mentioning that your work schedules are still full was not some kind of exaggeration, and that, with each event, more plans were planned in the future. — After all, it wasn't a lie to say that you were already used to all of this. — Therefore, a few days of rest were more than necessary.

"Here it is." — The cards were distributed in the correct manner and quantity, and those that remained, and which would be used to be bought, were left next to you. — "Just wait a minute, darling." — Tom warned, while taking his cell phone.

While you were organizing and judging your cards, wondering if they could actually lead to a good game for you, your cell phone vibrates as a sign of some notification and, instantly, the screen lights up showing you what it was. — A like on your story from such a familiar profile. — Your lips curved into a genuine and beloved smile, feeling like a teenager in love.

The fact that you and Tom kept notifications on, from your profiles, from each other was cute; at the same time, without wasting a second, as if you wanted to break some kind of record, in any post, among the first likes and comments, your users were there. — Fans thought this was one of the funniest and most beautiful things.

And things like you and Tom were each other's fans were always mentioned in tweets and compilations.

Leaving his cell phone near the group of cards and before picking up his set of cards, Tom looks at you and winks in your direction; you laughed, unable to contain yourself.

"Who goes first?" — You asked, slightly swinging your legs under the table, moving the cards again and waiting for the first round of the game.

"Oh please, ladies first." — Supporting his cards, already organized, in one hand, Tom made a reference to a knight of a certain era with his other hand; your foot poked his calf, finding his act funny.

You started the game with a green card numbered two, after all, it was the color that was most present in your cards. — A possible strategy, perhaps? And you hoped it would work. — Quickly, Blyth opted for a card of the same color but numbered five.

"After the winter camp…" — Tom's voice in a concentrated but so soft tone exclaimed in your ears, taking away, a little, your attention from choosing the card. — "What will be our next trip?" — Still in the same color, you add a number four.

"We need to go through there again." — You commented, reminding him that you said the same thing when you were with him at the table. — "Let me think." — Tom put the same number but in blue, you clicked your tongue, unhappy with the absence of the color in your set.

"So that means you don't have that color." — He laughed, fixing this information in his head; Ignoring his provocation, you bought a card and, coincidentally, it came with the same number but, again, in a different color. — Yellow.

"I'm thinking about spending time in a forest, that has a cabin near a beautiful, huge river." — Indicating, directly and indiscreetly, a reference to the movie's scene, you suggested. — "And an opportunity to fish and jump in it." — Understanding what it was about, Tom's laugh settles in the room and warms your heart.

"Not including hair being dyed blonde, i will be by your side, my love." — Tom bit his lip, continuing to vibrate his laugh, and provoking the fact that everyone was asking, or rather begging, for him to definitely become blonde. — "And it wouldn't be a bad idea, really."

During his answer, he had placed a card with the same number but, of course, with a different color, it was red; and a simple, brief moment of relief because you had a yellow card disappeared into thin air. — Once again, you drew a card and once again, out of pure irony, you draw a card with the same number but colored green.

Maybe, your game was on a good track. — Or your luck was definitely in an ironic direction.

"That's not possible?" — Complained the oldest, with his eyebrows arched and his mouth half open; you shrugged, causing a smug frown. — "Can you tell me." — He placed a card numbered eight and colored green and, quickly, you added another green card with a different number.

And so, the game arrived at a time when there were only two cards left in your hand; accompanied by the intriguing information that they were the same color, green. — Finally, you had an opportunity to play that yellow card, which didn't have a good moment and was prevented from being used.

In Tom's hands there were also the presence of two cards; If they were identical in color, you didn't know that and had no idea whatsoever. — But his eyes were focused on your cards and, soon, he paid attention to your face, observing every point and expression that existed on it. — Along with that sideways smile, without showing his teeth, anxiously waiting for your move.

You weren't betting anything, but in the next round, you will probably go, let alone compete, seriously; however, if an outsider saw the current situation, they would automatically think of a competition. — And without joking or exaggerating.

In a delicate and risky moment, you played one of your green cards; leaving just a card between your fingers and looking deeply into those blue eyes, waiting for his turn. — Tom took, at least a little longer than usual, to play; as if he was thinking about what, exactly, to do. — Oh, another heavy mind with strategy.

However, those two cards, which were left in your boyfriend's hand, form just one thin and small set. — As if it were just one. — And, slowly, they are positioned on top of the card you had placed. — They were two blue cards, twins and with the same number as your card.

"I won!" — Tom exclaimed, with a triumphant smile and moving, just a little and dramatically, the chair away from the table; as he tilted his head in amusement and waiting for something from you. — "I feel like we should have bet something."

"I don't believe." — Leaving the card on the table and crossing your arms, thinking about your mediocre strategy, which passed on a gravel path, apparently, you spoke. — "The chance was between my fingers!" — Tom laughed shamelessly at your reaction and received another poke from your foot on his leg.

"Ready to lose again, my sweetheart?" — He asked, crossing his arms on the table, looking at you.

[quizzicalwriter]

Could u please do a smut where Dallas and the reader are on a late night drive and they end up in the backseat and there’s some fingering leading up to it…thank you!

One of These Nights

Pairing: Dallas Winston x Fem!Reader

Summary: A date at the river ends with discarded clothes and fogged windows.

Warnings: Smut. MDNI. Porn with very little plot. Fingering, oral, car sex - all that good stuff.

A/N: Thank you for the request!

Word Count: 2.3k

What had started as a normal trip to the river wound up being a supervision service Dallas reluctantly found himself holding for you, reluctantly being used loosely. Despite the frown he’d worn when you stripped yourself of your jacket and shoes, he couldn’t help but watch you in awe as you ran at a full sprint into the water. You’d beckoned him closer, calling to him from the water like a siren would an ill-fated sailor. He’d only managed to stave you off by waving his cigarette in front of his face with a crooked smile, earning him an exaggerated huff of air on your part.

God himself could’ve appeared to Dallas at that moment and still wouldn’t have succeeded in peeling his attention away from you. The way you laughed as you ran through the shallows of the river, kicking up water that’d splash back on you and the lip of the shore. The sun covered you, igniting your beauty in a magnitude Dallas hadn’t thought possible. Maybe Johnny was right, sunsets weren’t all too bad.

Before he knew it he’d smoked the entire cigarette, having completely lost himself in you without even having touched you. He tossed the still-smoldering bud to the rocks below, snubbing it out with the heel of his boot before pulling his shirt over his head. He could hear your whoop of cheered laughter from the waterbed, making him smile to himself as he kicked off his boots and jeans.

The water was pleasantly warm, surely having been baked by the summer sun early on in the day. Dallas found himself thankful for it as he waded toward you, returning your smile in fervor before leaping toward you, arms immediately encircling you to pull you underwater with him. Your arms encircled his under the murky depths, fingers subtly digging into the muscle along his forearms as his feet planted along the riverbed, pushing himself upright and above water with you in his arms, boisterous laughter falling from your lips in droves as you wiped the water from your face.

“Warn me next time!” You laughed out, eyes still squeezed shut as you brushed your soaked hair back from your face. His laughter settled in his chest, vibrating against your skin as he held you close. “No fun in that, doll.”

“Could’ve drowned!” You responded before he’d even had a moment to breathe, in jest of course, but the way your eyes peered up at him made him stifle laughter all the same. He’d always done the same thing each time you both found yourself at the river, framing his walk over to you as something calm before pulling you into deeper water to dunk you both, always ensuring you were held close to his body before doing so - but doing it nonetheless.

“Wouldn’t let you drown.” He responded incredulously, rolling his eyes as though your jest had offended him in some manner. “Have some faith in me, doll.”

You couldn’t help but snort at the way his New York accent would flare up in the funniest of ways whenever he found himself frustrated, faux or genuine, it still made itself apparent and you loved it. You tilted your head back, shifting ever so slightly in his hold to rest your back against his warm chest, encircling your arms over his as you looked up to him.

“You sound real northern whenever you talk like that.” You teased, smiling bright up at him, earning you another roll of his eyes as he playfully shoved your head back down with a muffled, “Shut up.”

His hands fumbled with the wet fabric of your dress, finding himself eternally thankful that you both chose an area along the river that rarely had any other visitors given how sheer your dress had gone. He could count the freckles along your shoulders, the tempo at which you breathed, and how your chest would press against the linen. He knew he’d have to give you his jacket when it came time to drop you back off at your place, but for now, he’d savor the look of you draped in translucent clothing.

You raised a hand to cover his, bringing it over your breast, the steady thrum of your heartbeat thumping against the pads of his fingertips as he looked down at you. You met his gaze, eyes focused on his lips and the beads of water that lingered there. He made the first move, hand kneading your breast as he leaned down to connect your lips to his. His thumb brushed over your hardened bud as he nipped at your bottom lip, only pulling away to spin you around to face him fully.

You rested your hands against his chest, savoring the warmth that pooled from his skin in comparison to the chilled water droplets that continued to cascade down both of your bodies. He wasted no time in reconnecting in a kiss, a soft hum resonating in his chest as your tongue moved with his. You’d hardly noticed one of his hands had moved between your thighs until you felt two of his fingers press against your clothed cunt, slowly moving in circular motions as he deepened the kiss.

Whatever words of protest lingered in your mind at the prospect of being touched in a place so public were immediately stunted the moment his fingers circled your clit, pulling a drawn-out moan from your chest that he all but swallowed in your kiss. You could feel his breathing quicken the longer he touched you, his hold on your body tightening, pulling you to be almost flush with his front as he slid his hand underneath your underwear.

Your warmth was enough to pull a grunt from him as he curled his middle and ring finger into you, thumb circling your clit as you pulled away from the kiss, burying your face in his chest as your hips rocked with the movement of his fingers. He rested his cheek against your hair, free arm looping around your back as he plunged his fingers deeper, brushing against your g-spot in the process.

“Dallas-“ You whined, having to rake your mind for any trace of a coherent thought as he hummed in response, not bothering to slow the tempo of his fingers. “Car, please-“

He let out a quiet laugh, nodding as he withdrew his fingers, doing his best to help you from the water with your wobbly legs and into the back of the T-Bird. The setting sun gave way to moonlight that hung heavy over the water, casting a pale hue on everything below it. Dallas followed you into the backseat, both of you laughing at the absurdity of clamoring into a car with soaked clothes.

Good thing you had no intention of staying dressed.

Dallas helped you remove your dress, hands smoothing up your still-damp skin as he lifted the fabric up and over your head, tossing it to the floorboard in haste to get back to what he really wanted to touch - you. You leaned back against the backseat, spreading your thighs before him as he situated himself between your legs, letting his hands trail up your bare thighs before resting against the hem of your underwear. You lifted your hips, silently begging him to remove them for you to which he quickly obliged, sliding the fabric down and off your legs before tossing them down to the floorboard as well.

“Gorgeous.” He whispered, eyes trailing over your bare form as his hands raked up your thighs, thumbs brushing along the soft flesh of your inner thighs. You could feel yourself clench around nothing, on the verge of insanity driven by your pure need to have him in any way he’d have you. He trailed the back of his fingers along your soaked folds, a smug smile upon his lips as he felt your arousal coat his skin. His eyes flickered up to yours, drinking in the pitiful look written across your face the longer he dragged out his teasing.

He pressed his thumb against your clit, slowly circling it as his other hand brushed up your stomach to hold your breast. Before you could beg him to do anything further he sunk between your legs, moving his hand to help lift your leg to drape it over his shoulder, eyes locked on you as he placed a kiss to your cunt. Your hips jutted up at the contact, inadvertently pushing yourself closer to his mouth. He only chuckled, bringing his other hand down from your breast to press against your lower stomach, holding you steady as he swirled his tongue around your clit.

A broken string of curses fell past your lips as you rolled your hips, riding his tongue as he continued to place open-mouthed kisses along your soaked cunt. Your hands found their way to his hair, tugging on the dark strands as your head fell back against the leather interior of the car. He shifted his body ever so slightly, lifting it enough to bring his hand forward to press his middle and ring finger back into your cunt, curling both to press against your g-spot as he sucked your clit into his mouth.

You rode his fingers and tongue, eyes screwed shut from the combination of feelings soaring through your veins. Every so often you’d have to remind yourself to breathe, finding yourself more focused on the feeling of his tongue delving between your folds paired with the pressure of his hand against your lower stomach and how his fingers jutted up into your cunt. You were sure your juices had covered his lips and dripped onto his chin, but he didn’t seem to mind in the slightest.

“I’m gonna cum-“ Were the only words you were able to whine as the feeling built to a fever pitch in your lower stomach, the words pulling a moan from Dallas, filling him with a renowned vigor as he pushed himself closer to you. Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair as your hips jerked, cunt spasming against his tongue as he continued his movements through your orgasm.

He didn’t stop, even as your back arched from the leather and a broken-off moan tore its way from your throat. He looped his arms around your upper thighs, holding your cunt to his mouth until your hands pried at his forearms, wordlessly begging for a moment to breathe. As your chest heaved for breath he placed gentle kisses to your inner thighs, his hands rubbing soft circles along your hips.

Dallas waited until your breathing slowed to move, situating himself over top of you, murmuring hushed words of praise as he kissed along your throat and shoulder. You could only whine in reply, mind still muddled from your recent orgasm. He helped your thigh up, resting it against his hip before pushing his boxers down, kicking them off the rest of the way. He slid his tip along your slick folds, spreading your cum along his shaft before adjusting himself to push into you.

You were still sensitive, cunt twitching around his cock as he bottomed out within you. Your arms wrapped loosely around his neck, nails digging into the muscles along his back as he slowly rolled his hips. You tilted your head back, capturing his lips in a needy kiss as he grasped at your waist, each thrust knocking the wind from your lungs. As his tongue moved with yours his hand slunk between your bodies, fingers encircling your clit as he continued fucking you.

The taste of yourself on his tongue was enough to leave you clenching around him, hips cantering with each roll of his own, helping him to reach deeper within you as your legs tightened around his waist. The slick sound of him pushing into you echoed within the car, the only sound rivaling it being the moans that slipped free between your shared kisses.

You could feel that familiar coil tightening in your lower stomach, each thrust and swirl of his fingers around your clit pushing you closer to the edge. You pulled away from the kiss, letting your head fall back against the leather seat as you gave yourself over to the feeling. Dallas could feel your cunt fluttering around him as your second orgasm surged through you, the feeling pulling him to lean down against you, burying his face into the crook of your neck as he chased his own.

As he fucked you through your orgasm your fingers threaded their way through his hair, moans tumbling past your lips and into the humid air that steadily fogged the windows of the car. With a broken grunt of your name, he flooded your cunt with his cum. He held himself there until his cock finished twitching, leaving him overly sensitive as he slowly pulled himself out, only to watch in awe as his cum spilled from you and onto the seats below.

“Fuck.” He gasped, voice nearly incomprehensible over his sharp intake of breath. You looked up at him, expression completely flushed and fucked-out. Your skin felt sticky, whether from the humidity or your shared fluids, you didn’t know, but the moonlight pouring in through the fogged windows cast you both in a hue that wouldn’t leave your mind for years if you could help it.

“Hey.” You nudged his thigh with your foot, soft laughter leaving you as you motioned to your still-wet dress on the floorboard. “Can’t take me home naked, Dal.”

He nodded, laughing himself as he leaned back onto his knees to grab your clothes, a slight grimace flashing across his features when he realized how soaked your clothes truly were.

“Can’t take you back soaked neither.” He huffed out, eyes flitting over to you. “You’ll stay at mine tonight. I’ll carry you inside wrapped up in my jacket if I have to.”

You couldn’t lie, the thought sounded much more intriguing than slinking back into your home dripping in river water. So you relented, not that you needed much persuasion in the first place. You’d explain to your folks where you were in the morning.

“Sounds good to me.”

A/N: I wrote half of this to Hozier and the other half to Lana - what that says about me I don’t know. Anyways! I hope you guys enjoy this, I haven’t written smut in a while, figured you guys deserve a lil treaty treat. As always, thank you for all the love and support you guys show my work! I appreciate it more than words can describe. You can find all my work over on AO3 as well under the user, “Unscriptural!” And if you’re wondering if I received your request, I most certainly did, I have about nine other writings I’m currently finishing up so it should be published soon!

[panharmonium]

I'm re-reading Sai's intro arc for fic reasons and got momentarily distracted by the sequence of events wherein Yamato gets assigned to Team Kakashi, because it unfolds like this:

Tsunade refuses to cave to the Elders' demand that she keep Naruto cooped up in the village

The Elders agree to this, but only if she allows them (aka Danzo-by-proxy) to choose who will fill Kakashi and Sasuke's spots on the team

Danzo comes in and chooses Sai specifically, but then makes the enormous mistake of giving Tsunade only a general set of recommendations for the last member's qualifications

after which Tsunade turns around and does the absolute funniest thing she could possibly have done:

It's hilariously tempting to think of her doing this as a deliberate fuck-you to Danzo, but it's implied in the text that she doesn't even know about Yamato's Root background - she spends the next few panels explaining to Yamato who and what Danzo/the Foundation are, as if he wouldn't know. (Logically, I recognize that this is probably just because Yamato's Root backstory hadn't been conceived of yet, but in-universe it gives the impression that she doesn't know where he comes from):

It's certainly plausible to read this as her carefully talking around the issue with Yamato - her "surely you've heard of him" could be one of those things where they both know what she means but aren't saying it out loud (due to concerns about surveillance, plausible deniability on her part, etc), so how much she knows is ultimately up for interpretation. I'm not rigidly committed to either read, though, because either way is equally entertaining to me - her picking Yamato as a deliberate fuck-you to Danzo is obviously satisfying, but her NOT doing it as a deliberate fuck-you to Danzo is just as funny, like - we know, canonically, that she picks Yamato because he has Wood Style, and probably also because he worked with Kakashi for so long, but for her to use those completely unrelated criteria and wind up unwittingly selecting the absolute LAST person Danzo would ever have wanted to be Sai's commanding officer is SO hilarious to me.

Either way, I love when Danzo comes into her office to ask if she finished picking the Black Ops commander, and she's like "yeah :) i did :) guess who"

danzo: you better not have chosen somebody like your grandfather tsunade, who chose her grandfather's literal genetic clone: >:)

[cinnbar-bun]

Heartless Giant- Chapter 1

(Excuse the banner)

Pairing: Crocodile x GN!Royal!Reader

Rating: SFW

First part of a collaboration with @fanaticsnail 's Storyteller collection! I chose to do the "Heartless Giant" with Crocodile. Thank you for having me as a part of this, dear <3!

Summary: Your older brothers claim that the man who tried to overthrow your kingdom is still in the dungeons below. Such a monster shouldn't possibly exist, right? After a bet and a promise, you and your brothers travel down the dungeons to find the proclaimed "giant". Those rumors should be nothing more than gossip... right?

Notes: GN!Reader, Prisoner!Crocodile (for my Impel Down Croc lovers), implied age gap, Reader is an adult but age is not specified, violence, bad siblings, protective Crocodile, "falling for my father's enemy" teehee

You can read this on my AO3 here!

Word Count: ~2.7k

It happened years ago, they said. A man- more akin to a beast, if anything- tried to take over and kill the king. Your father, ever the gallant ruler, fought the giant beast and sentenced him to eternal imprisonment in the lowest cell of the castle dungeons. 

A part of you was thankful you were not there to witness such a sight. To see your beloved father have to fight what was perhaps the scariest enemy in a long time would’ve frightened you. Yet, another part of you was admittedly… curious. Your elder brothers always warned you against going to the dungeon. They always joked that the giant would eat you and your heart. 

“He towers over everyone… his shadow looms over everything,” the eldest would say. Your second brother chuckled along with him before hunching his back and cupping his left hand. 

“He’s got a big hook, too. If his ugly face sees ya, he sinks it into ya!” He swung his arm around like it was a hook and your third brother pretended to be scared. He grinned after his performance and slunk to you. 

“And, father says, with only his right hand, the giant takes away your life. He just,” your brother covered your face with his right hand and shook you while growling loudly. “Drains you until you’re a husk!” 

You shove your brother off of you and roll your eyes. 

“There’s no way anyone like that exists,” you huff and adjust your appearance. Your three older brothers laugh wildly, as if you had told the funniest joke in history. 

“Oh come on, you didn’t see him!” The third one says. “You were on a different island!” 

“I doubt you saw him, either,” you cross your arms. “You guys would be terrified if a man like that really existed.” 

“Are ya callin’ us liars?” The second one frowns and raises a brow. “Don’t make us throw you into the dungeon with ‘im!” 

“Maybe I am! Why would you go and try to make a joke out of a man that father had to battle like that?” 

“Ugh, there you go, again,” the first rolls his eyes. “Can’t even take a joke!” 

“I think all those books ruined yer brain, (Y/n),” the second chortles as he points at the book in your hand. 

“I think all the seawater melted yours,” you shoot back and hold your book tighter. 

“Well, I just hope you can fight if that beast breaks out one day!” The third one laughs. He takes his sword out of his holster and swings it with calculated precision. He sheaths his sword and you sigh. 

“We can hope he never does,” you reply. “Maybe you three will be courageous enough to actually look him in the eye.” 

“Those are fighting words! Ya think we can’t look him in the eye?” The second yells. 

“I don’t think so,” you taunt. “He probably doesn’t even look anything like what you just said.” 

“Fine. We’ll take ya down to see him and prove to you how dangerous he is. And when you cry, we won’t save you.” 

Seeing your brothers so adamant to prove themselves made your arrogance rise as well. Not to mention, that little voice in your head that was always, always wanting to see the man your father had cursed under his breath over and over since that day. In a sick, twisted way, you wanted to see the man that nearly brought your kingdom to ruin when you were away. 

“Fine. We can all go together and we’ll see just how tough you are from the ‘giant’.” 

Your brothers smirked and nodded. The eldest stepped forward and whispered. “At midnight. Be quiet. The guards and father are having a meeting tonight. Use the back staircase and we’ll all meet by the doors.” 

All four of you shook upon it and continued with your day. Your heart raced, your thoughts drifting to that beast locked away in the dungeons. 

A man who towered over everyone. A man with a hook. A scarred face. The power to take life away with only his right hand. 

You tried to imagine how this monster would look, but all images your mind conjured were hideous and unsightly. You shivered, yet the way your feet bounced with nearly every step gave away the excitement you secretly held inside. 

After pretending to fall asleep on your bed, you waited till the moon was at its highest and opened the door. You peered out the hallways, checking if the coast was clear before scurrying along to the rendezvous point with your brothers. Just as they had promised, the three of them were waiting for you with eager grins and smiles. 

“So you really did come?” The first chuckled. “Thought you would’ve hid away.” 

“I wasn’t going to,” you clicked your tongue. “I’m ready to see how you three will react to him, though.” 

“Please, that man’s got nothing on us,” the second dismissed. “Four against one, he’s done for.” 

“More like three against one,” the third snorted, nudging his head to you. 

“I don’t need to fight. None of us should need to, actually. We’re just taking a look, and then we’re leaving.” 

They glanced around before your second brother picked the lock to the cellar with a pin he had taken from your mother. They urged you inside and checked that none of you would be discovered. 

The dungeons were dark, mildewy, and worst of all, freezing. You shivered as you realized your nightclothes were a bit too light for this cold place. 

“Come on, hurry up,” your brothers whispered as they practically ran down the steps to the lowest dungeon level. You made an effort to catch up with them before you noticed how low the temperature was down here. Every time you and your brothers let out a breath, you could see the small amounts of steam cloud around you four. 

They lived in such conditions…? 

Your brothers quickly made their way to the farthest cell in the dungeon and laughed loudly. 

“There he is!” 

“Ahaha! My god, he’s hideous!” 

“Come on, give us a glance!” 

You gasped at what your brothers were saying. “Don’t say things like that! You know better than that.” 

As foolish as you were to come down here, you were not foolish enough to insult the beast. 

The third rolled his eyes. “Oh, quiet down will you?” 

“What are you, our mother?” The first glared. He began to bang on the bars. “Wake up, will you?” 

You made your way to the cell and noticed the looming shadow in the corner. His back was towards you and your brothers, barely clothed in the rags he wore. There were two large chains wrapped around his arms, preventing him from using them to escape and use the ferocious powers your brothers discussed. He was sitting, hunched over, yet, even in this position, you could tell how large and massive he was. He hardly moved or flinched at the noise your brothers made, making them more upset. 

“Come on! Give us something! Look us in the eye!” They hit the bars again, but the man stayed as still as a statue. 

This was the man who nearly ended your kingdom… 

You didn’t need to see his face, but through his behavior alone, you knew that despite him being in the cell, you and your brothers were his prey. 

“Cut it out, now,” you warned, the anxiety creeping in your voice. 

“What? Scared? Scared the ugly beast will eat ya?” The second brother called out. The third brother continued to make loud noise. 

“Come on, we got our little sibling here! Don’t you want to impress them, giant?” He yelled before he grabbed you and pushed you against the bars. You yelped in pain and from the cold metal pressing into your face and body. 

“Stop it! Let me go!” You screamed. 

“What happened to the beast who tried to end us? Huh? I thought you gave my father a good fight! So look at us!” The first glowered at the giant before he smirked at the ground.

“What are you doing? Stop that!” 

“Would you just shut your mouth?” The first leaned down to pick up a large rock and tossed it in his hand. Your other brothers chuckled darkly while you shook your head. 

“No… this wasn’t what we said we’d do! It was just to look!” 

“He can’t do anything to us. Look at him. He’s wasted away. Just watch,” the first says as he pulls his arm back before launching the rock at the giant. It hits him square in the back of his head and echoes as it patters to the ground. 

All is silent as you and your brothers stare. Yet, still, the giant does not move. 

“What a waste! He’s a dumb ogre! Can’t even look at us properly,” the second sighs. 

“Why would you do that?!” You shout at your brother. “Why would you throw that?” 

“You challenged us to see if we were scared. I think that beast is scared of us! He doesn’t even move!” 

Your brothers roared in laughter while you heard the rattling of the chains. Your eyes widened in horror as you noticed the man’s arms were beginning to move slowly. 

“G-guys. Let go. We need to go,” you beg. “Let me go.” 

You try and remove yourself from your brother’s grasp while they all laugh harder. 

“What? Scared? You’re even stupider than him!” They tease you. The third shoves your face harder into the bars. 

“Oh go on, you’re both stupid cowards! Go on! Why don’t you give him a little kiss? He might like that!” 

You struggle against your brother as you hear the chains clink. Your brothers laughter echoes in the dungeon until the third screams loudly in pain. 

You hardly have time to notice what is going on as you’re flipped around and see the third is on the floor, gripping his bleeding hand in pain while your other brothers are wide-eyed and trembling. Your back is now against the bars and you feel a cold metal against your throat. 

You’re shaking, afraid for your life as you glance down to see a gold hook pressed against your skin. 

Your other two brothers quickly unsheathe their swords and point it to the assailant, but their fear is evident by the way they can’t even hold their weapons properly. 

“The g-giant…” the first whispers, quaking in his boots. You know it’s a bad idea. Every part of you is screaming to not do so. Your mind races with warnings and against your better judgment… 

You lean back and try to glance up. You freeze as you look up to the giant’s sharp features. You can’t see much from this angle, but you can make out how tall he is. Your brothers’ descriptions of him didn’t do him justice, and you recognize how much more imposing his figure is. 

He presses his hook harder, pulling you further to him. He was careful not to use the pointed end of it to hurt you, but in your current state, you couldn’t care. 

A low grumble catches your attention as you realize it is the giant attempting to speak. 

“Do not touch them ever again,” his low voice threatens. Your brothers are even more shaken by the giant’s voice as they squeak and stumble backwards. 

“W-wait, don’t-” you cry, not wanting to be alone. Your brothers put away their weapons as they force themselves back up and run away, screaming bloody murder. Your heart sinks as you watch your brothers run off without you as their voices get quieter in this dark dungeon. The giant removes his hook from you, dropping you unceremoniously to the ground as you struggle to breathe. 

“Go,” is all he says, his shackles shaking as walks back to his corner. You don’t know what to think. 

“You’re not…?” You begin, unsure of what to say at all. Do you thank him? Apologize? Cry? Leave? You’re too stunned to know what to do next. 

“No. Just go. You shouldn’t be down here, anyways.” 

“Wait,” you call to him. “Why did you save me?” 

“Would you prefer I kill you?” He sharply replies. 

“No. I just… I didn’t expect that from you…” you mumble. He sighs. 

“You were foolish for coming down here. And you were even more foolish for allowing them to use you like bait.” 

“I didn’t think they would,” you admit pathetically. 

“Of course you didn’t. Life’s pretty easy up there, isn’t it, your highness?” He bitterly laughs. 

“Don’t patronize me. I just wanted to know why you would do such a thing.” 

“Telling you wouldn’t make a difference. Just let me rest and rot away the rest of my life in peace, would you?” 

You stop and nod, the adrenaline wearing off as you’re back to feeling the bitter cold on your skin. “Are you not freezing down here? You’re hardly wearing anything that could keep you warm.” 

He chuckles and shakes his head. “Prisoners aren’t afforded that luxury, your highness. We stay in the cold and in this silence to pay for our crimes.” 

The logic was understandable, but you felt a pang of guilt in your heart. 

“I haven’t thanked you for saving me and stopping my brothers, yet,” you start, fumbling through the ideas in your head. “Thank you. As a show of my appreciation, I’ll bring you something to keep you warm.” 

He stood still, as if considering your words. “You would do something like that for me?” 

“Yes. I will do so. I’ll bring it down for you as soon as I can,” you assure him, feeling resolute in your decision. Criminal he may be, but royalty you were. Even the worst subjects required kindness and repayment for their actions. 

He turned his body around, and you managed to see his face fully under the dim light of the lantern. His face was sharp, chiseled, and scarred. The scar ran across his face over his nose, and the stitches on it looked brutal. The dark circles and bags under his eyes were prominent, like the strands of hair that were falling and framing his face. It was clear he tried to slick it back, but given his situation, he couldn’t do much with it in this grimy cell. 

You gasped at his appearance, taken aback by how strangely beautiful you found him. He chuckled, a low rumble in his chest. 

“Don’t worry, I get that a lot,” he smoothly teased. “Do I look like the monster you thought I was?” 

“No,” you earnestly respond, surprising him, somewhat. 

“Oh? Why is that?” Unlike your brothers, who cowered away in fear, you looked directly into his dark eyes with a firm resolve. 

“You look just like a man…” you reply. His eyes flicker with light for a brief moment, before they return to the dull color they were a moment ago. 

“Monsters can look like men, your highness. You should know better than that.” 

“Yet you did not kill me when you had a chance. Would a monster spare me?” 

“I guess not,” Crocodile sighed. “Perhaps I’ve gotten soft while being locked away for so long.” 

“I can only hope. But I promise, I will bring you the gift soon.” 

“Hm, don’t take too long, your highness. It gets terribly cold down here,” he replied in a drab voice. He turned himself around and faced the stone walls. “I don’t have anything else to say to you tonight.” 

You were taken aback by his abrupt statement but chose not argue further. He had done you a massive favor, and you too would probably feel the same way if locked away here for so long. 

“Thank you again,” you said to him before you pulled yourself up and dusted the dirt off your nightclothes. You glanced back at him, but the man was back to staying silent and not moving. 

What a dreary life that must be…

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

I have an idea! What about reader smuggling a cat into the academy and asking Xavier to keep it in his shed? Xavier doesn't like the idea, but he grow fond of the kitten and takes it to his room becasue it's gonna be cold outside in his shed and it would be so cuteee

This took so long, please don’t let it flop. Please keep sending requests for tomorrow! It’s gonna be my birthday and I want to post a lot

my taglists are here + you can requests here at any time

—

‘’Absolutely not.’’

‘’We could keep him in your shed until the end of semester and—’’

Xavier shook his head, refusing to hear any more. ‘’No. Absolutely not.’’

You cradled the small stray kitten against your chest. ‘’Look at his cute face, we can’t leave him without a home. He chose me to be his mommy. He needs me, he’ll die outside. He’s gonna get eaten by the monster— Do you want to live with the guilt of sending this cat to his death, Xavier?’’

You were pushing for the dramatics, but you weren’t entirely wrong. There were so many possible dangers outside for a kitten. And with the monster still out there, it wasn’t safe.

Xavier glanced at the kitten, watching him rub his face against your hand. The semester was ending in less than two months — seven weeks. If he said ‘no’, you would keep him in your dorm and there’s no way you won’t get caught. He sighed, giving in. ‘’Alright… But I am not taking any responsibility for this cat. If Weems finds out, it’s all on you.’’

The biggest grin formed on your lips. ‘’Got it.’’

In the morning, you went to Jericho and got some things like cat food, a collar, a few small toys, a blanket with paws all over and a bowl for water. Xavier even helped you set up a box to turn into a bed. You were surprised by his involvement, but didn't complain. It was sweet of him.

‘’You’re going to be so loved, little kitten—’’ you mused as you sat on the floor of the shed and played with the feline.

Xavier was sitting before you, painting the box for the cat he didn't like. ‘’You haven’t told me what his name is. I have cohabit with him and I don’t even know my roommate’s name.’’

‘’He doesn’t have one,’’ you admitted, watching the black kitten aggressively play with his toy mouse, rolling on himself and hitting it with his paws. ‘’Salem is overused, so definitely not that. Maybe…Licorice?’’

‘’You can't name him after one of the worst candies, he's gonna get bullied.’’

‘’He's a cat, who's gonna bully him?’’

‘’What about…Girlfriend Stealer. Murder Mittens—’’

You threw the mouse toy at Xavier and he laughed.

‘’Don't listen to your cat dad,’’ you told the kitten, ‘’he’s just jealous that my attention is on you and not on him.’’

Xavier raised his eyes from the painting to glare at you. ‘’I am not his cat dad.’’

The funniest thing about cats is that if you voice your dislike for them, they will purposely rub against your legs and beg you for pets and attention.

Xavier was trying to paint, but Binx — like Thackery Binx — kept rubbing against Xavier’s leg and meowing for his attention. He even dipped a paw in blue paint and got it all over the floor. Xavier kept shooing him off, but Binx was obsessed with him. He even curled on his hoodie for a nap and refused to get off.

Two weeks later, you went to the shed to feed Binx his breakfast, but the kitten was nowhere to be found. You checked under all the tables, behind all the canevas and even in the shelving unit where he kept his paints. Sadly, there was no Binx.

You began to worry and panic, making scenarios in your head and thinking the worst. Where was he? Did he slip between Xavier’s legs when he locked the shed last night? It rained a lot during the night, if Binx was outside—

You grabbed your phone and call Xavier.

‘’Pick up. Pick up.’’

Unfortunately, the call went straight to voicemail.

It was 8am on a weekend, he must be still sleeping. Your problem couldn't wait until the woke up though.

You returned to the academy and snuck past the house master while some students were walking out to head to breakfast.

‘’Xavier! Wake up!’’ you hissed through the door between knocks. ‘’Bin— There’s an emergency! Xavi—’’

The door opened slightly, a very sleepy Xavier rubbing his half opened eyes appeared in the ajar space. Through his sleepy state, he pulled you inside and shut the door behind you.

‘’Binx is gone. I went to the shed to feed him and—’’ Your state of panic was cut when your eyes caught the small ball of black fur curled on Xavier's bed, sleeping soundly by his pillow. An immense relief washed over you.

‘’It was cold last night when I finished painting so I hid him in my jacket and brought him here. We might not get along, but I wasn’t gonna let him die of cold,’’ Xavier explained, his voice hoarse from sleep.

You walked past him, going right for Binx who stirred and meowed when you sat on the bed. ‘’I was so worried about you,’’ you said to him. ‘’I thought you had gotten lost in the woods around the academy or died of cold, but it was just your daddy who took you in for a night of cuddles.’’

Xavier groaned, crawling back on his bed and into the warmth of his covers. ‘’Again, I am not his cat dad.’’ He pulled on the comforter and turned his back to you. ‘’Since you found him, Murder Mittens is getting all the attention and cuddles. When I accepted him in my life, I didn’t think I would lose my girlfriend.’’

You wanted to laugh and call Xavier jealous, but then you realized he wasn’t wrong. Maybe his reaction was dramatic, but Binx had taken your entire schedule since you found him. All of your nights were spent with him in the shed, playing and petting him. Xavier was there too, but your attention was mostly on Binx.

Your eyes shifted away from Binx and went to Xavier. Seeing his back instead of his face made your heart clench. He had turned away from you on purpose — and it hurt. You put your hand on his shoulder, but he didn’t react.

‘’I’m sorry, Xavier. I didn’t realize what I was doing, but now I see it and I am so sorry. I don’t want Binx to replace you — no one can replace you. I love you so much baby, don’t ever doubt that.’’

His shoulders started shaking and you thought he was crying, which broke your heart.

‘’Baby, please forgive me, I—’’

You were falling so hard for his act it was getting difficult for Xavier to keep his sulking face. And your sweet words were not helping.

A small laugh spilled from his lips, betraying him.

That’s when you realized that he was not crying. He was full on grinning and trying to hide from you.

You slapped his side over the comforter so hard it echoed in the room, making Xavier laugh harder. ‘’You’re an ass, Xavier Thorpe! I was genuinely feeling bad for making you feel neglected and replaced— You were playing me all along!’’

He rolled back to face you, dimples poking through his cheeks. ‘’You think I would get jealous over a cat?’’

You shrugged. ‘’You’ve made your hatred for him pretty clear.’’

‘’I don’t hate Binx,’’ Xavier corrected with a sigh, reaching for the kitten and kissing the top of his head sweetly as he cradled him to his chest. ‘’He’s alright.’’

—

Wednesday taglist: @sofiaadler @partyfly @hoodforcalum @thelilacmourning @ellessecretobsession @su-alteza-emia @achoo—uu @not-leaprvt @xaviersgf @peterparkerdilf @roadworkaheadisurehopeitdoes @dragon-chica @coldtacozinepanda @wrldofsage @eddiemunsonsluvrrr @capriaura @officialsaturn @babyfiva @maevaomizzolo @kelloggs-world @whosljt @ajpanda181 @belovedrey @emerycrt @elizabitchsshit @heaven-hiding @lilithlikestoread @est-liber @moonisu @dessxoxsworld @parker-nite @bellblake121890 @vesperazhier @kaldurahms-lover @beeebo234 @nephilimsss @mayuphoenix @sweetheartlizzie07 @watermelon-18 @snixx2088 @555stargirl555 @robinscardigan @chumchum19 @lilttblog @aphex2winn @heizenka @mystargirl-interlude @hwrtsiren @babygirljay20 @wildflowerlyss @strangersomeone @openfandoms @charlottelaffin @iheartmaddyperez @starless-starkov @ali-r3n  @poppet05  @ell0ra-br3kk3r​  @rhaenyraswife  @teaganthemorningstar  @aphex2winn @moompie-blog  @ifevilwhyhot @oliviah-25 @spenglerslime @wetwilliam02 @yellowcupcakes​ @haileyismoo​ @theyslayallday @wrldofsage

[phoenixkaptain]

OBSESSING over Kekkai Sensen again like it’s 2015 and I just found the show all over again

I am OBSESSED with Klaus and Leo’s relationship because it is fundamentally a man who is as intimidating as possible and a man who is as unintimidating as possible forming a bond of trust that begins with the very first meeting and only strengthens over time. Leonardo is the tiniest little guy and Klaus is so big and when you put the pair of them right beside each other, it is the funniest visual contrast.

And they both have the primary colour of red, the colour of passion and pain and suffering and obsession because they are both passionate and pained and suffering and obsessed and they fit together so well, with Leonardo seeing exactly what Klaus needs, they are a functionally perfect duo.

And they trust each other so much, SO MUCH. Leo trusts Klaus more than anyone else in the office (he SAYS SO in the manga) and Klaus trusts what Leo says without a second thought (partially because he is just that type of guy) and Leo is constantly and consistently thinking about making Klaus proud of him and Klaus’ words are what give him the courage to keep moving forward and Klaus gets questioned on hiring Leo so many times but always says it’s Very Necessary and-

The mach monkey is so fucking cute I can barely even stand it. He has a little face and those big old eyes and he is the cutest little fucker ever drawn and I just want to cuddle and snuggle him for forever because Leo could have killed him and chose to look beneath the surface level of the situation and saved him and he is just a little itty bitty monkey who is perfect in every way and I love him with my whole heart and then some because how did someone draw such a perfect creature-

Anyway. I’ve been a tad into Blood Blockade Battlefront recently.

[sparklingcid3r]

reading ur post abt darry being kind of a dick to soda about his grades and thinking when darry was at his height of popularity/ smart and boy of the year in high school, fr how do u think he actually treated his family and east side? like obvi as a teenager gonna be moody, but also did the soc tendencies he maybe already has just make him unpleasant? also bc purposely not wanting tb around the gang

The more time Darry spent on the West Side, the more bitter he became. Not at his family or friends, but just at the way the cards have been stacked against him for his entire life. He’s realizing how easy some people have it and becoming incredibly aware of this massive economic divide across the train tracks and he can’t fathom how it happened, or why it happened to him.

I don’t think he was any douchier than your typical older brother. Yeah he teased and roughed around with Soda and Pony, but he still loved them. I think maybe what could possibly have happened if you wanna pursue Soc influence crossing over into Darry’s home life, I can see him getting irritated more easily by things involving money or future prospects. He definitely wasn’t unpleasant to be around. Actually, I think he was the kind of guy his brothers wanted to spend time with. They just thought he was the coolest and the funniest person to be around, he had a way of making you feel like the most important guy in the room which contributed to eventually being voted Boy of the Year, but he was always out with other people while they waited for their turn, if he ever offered it.

And very quickly, there was probably at least one of those coming of age movie moments where Darry had to choose between hanging out w the greasers or Socs for the night and he chose the Socs🤫

[hurdy-girly]

So clown eggs exist, right? Those eggs that clowns paint their specific clown faces on to copyright them. I feel like this fact gives someone in the dc universe the chance to do the funniest thing ever.

Imagine you’re the Joker. You’ve woken up on a typical lovely, smoggy Gotham morning. You drink a nice cup of coffee filled with toxins, get dressed, and start to go about your day when one of your goons approaches, shaking in their boots. You ask them why they dare interrupt your morning. They cautiously hand you their phone, which is open to an article from a British newspaper.

“CLOWN PRINCE OF CRIME DETHRONED?”

“This morning, history was made as a local clown registered his face to Clowns International. But his face was unlike the faces of any of his mentors.”

There’s a picture of a young man. He has on a crappy green wig and white face paint. There is a wide smile painted on his face in red. He’s holding up an egg with a matching face.

“This local clown, who now wants to be called ‘The Better Joker’, chose to take the (unregistered) face of the infamous overseas supervillain. When asked why, his response was heartwarming.

“‘I have some family over in Gotham. A lot of them have been hurt by that moron. None of them were able to get back at him for it. So when it was time for me to register my face, well. I figured what better way to honor them than to officially steal that old freak’s face? It’s not like he’s a real clown. He never even bothered to go to Clown school! If he had, maybe he’d actually be funny.’

“When asked what his plans were, The Better Joker has stated that he hopes to be hired for charity events, possibly as the victim of the dunk tank.”

The Joker is fuming. Batman is frantically background checking this random British clown to make sure this isn’t an elaborate scheme. Jason Todd is laughing so hard he may actually die again. Something in the world heals.

[heartsforhavik]

hey!! could you write a havik x earthrealm reader celebrating Valentine’s Day at the reader’s request?

heart to heart (havik x gn! reader)

warnings: gore i guess? and both of you being weirdos but its ok ur weirdos in love. there’s also a rickroll at the end.

summary: kinda funny story of havik celebrating valentine’s day with gender neutral reader!! (cuz i can’t imagine him celebrating valentines in a normal way LMAO he’s chaotic ok.)

a/n: anon… did u read my mind.. cuz i was gonna write a valentine’s themed story with havik but i decided not to bc it wasn’t valentine’s yet.. but i have an excuse now 😈 also i went off the rails with this I’M *REALLY* SORRY ANON!!

“what is this.. valentine’s day you speak of?” havik asked. you had brought up the idea of valentine’s day with him, since the day was coming up and you wanted to see if your lover was interested in celebrating with you.

“well, it’s a holiday in earthrealm. not everyone celebrates it, but usually we use it as a day to appreciate our significant others. we gift them candies or some other goods.” you explained.

“…what else?” he asked, genuinely interested in your home’s customs.

“hmm… we put up decorations i suppose. a lot of red, white, and pink everywhere. and hearts. usually people gift their partners something heart shaped.” you added.

a comical lightbulb appeared above havik’s head as soon as he heard you say that.

-

the next day, which was valentine’s day, you awoke to a box in front of yours and havik’s bed. it literally smelled like shit. did someone send you shit in a box???

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted, sitting up in bed and looking as if he woke up before you.

“good morning, havik. did you send me this?” you asked. he nodded, gesturing you to open it.

when you opened it, it was as if havik gave you his heart.

literally. his heart was in the box.

you looked over to him and he had a giddy expression on his face as if he did the funniest thing possible.

“what? i heard you earthrealmers gave each other your hearts!”

“NOT LITERALLY.”

(real life image of havik giving you his heart drawn by me :333)

(ok ok now i’ll take it seriously LMAOOOO)

“good day, my beloved.” havik greeted. he was standing over the bed you both shared, looking strangely excited.

“good morning.. you look excited.” you pointed out, getting up out of bed.

“you should look outside.” havik grinned mischievously.

you gave him a confused look before you stepped outside to see a few bloody clothes on the ground.

“whose clothes are these?” you asked.

“these are the clothes of every person you ever wanted dead. surprise.” havik cackled. damn, he really killed them for you, he’s a keeper.

“i see..” you knew it was wrong. but damn, you wanted them dead so bad. and he did it for you, as a valentine’s day gift. you knew he wouldn’t give you a traditional gift since he’s a chaotic guy, but you definitely didn’t expect this. in your own twisted way, you were deeply grateful for what he did.

“thank you so much, love. i appreciate it.” you told him.

“that’s not all… i also made sure you don’t have any duties for today. you may choose how you want to spend your.. valentine’s day.” havik said, proudly. he was giving you the freedom to choose how you wanted to spend your day.

you chose to spend your day with him. you didn’t really care how you spent it, you were just glad to be around him. he felt the same towards you. havik refused to follow society’s traditional rules of valentine’s day. he wanted to be a little chaotic and mix things up a bit, but he understood that you just wanted to appreciate each other that day.

you wouldn’t change it for the world. he’s a bit strange and refuses to do anything traditionally, but at least he is being himself and still loves you. he loves and appreciates you a *lot* but he just shows his affection for you in a.. unique way. you are the light in his life and he would never give you up or let you down. just let him be a little weird with how he expresses his feelings, and you’re good.

(even tho he refuses to admit it, he does sleep that night in peace with you and clings onto your sleeping form like a sloth to a tree. he’s just so relaxed because he had a good day with you! a weird day. but when do you *not* have a weird day with havik? maybe you two will do this “valentine’s” thing again next year.)

[mikuni14]

Why I think the way the final episode of The Sign was distributed is wrong, offensive and unfair to fans. And how disappointing I am with this approach, because I sincerely supported Idol Factory and Saint.

Personally, I pay for Gaga, Viki and IQIYI, plus a VPN to watch shows that are not available in my country (like Pit Babe), which, you know, I already paid for 🙄 Additionally, I pay for Netflix, I have combined subscriptions with other people for Disney, HBO, Skyshowtime, Prime, last year we paid for Apple to watch Silo and Severance (I recommend both series btw 👌). I also don't mind paying one-time for a film on the platform, which is how I recently watched Oppenheimer.

Money is not an issue (<- lol), apart from the fact that I support myself and I have to work, and I have to carefully manage my budget in order to feed myself and my cat, clothe myself, pay my bills, and my loss of job will mean obviously giving up access to all these media. I say that money is not a problem in the sense that I WILL SPEND MONEY on something I like. I will save, I will give up something else, but I will spend this money on stuff I love.

The Sign has chosen a certain distribution method for international fans. They chose YouTube and chose a set airing hour. They could have chosen to distribute only in Thailand like Cherry Magic, or they could have chosen any other platform with paid subscriptions. But they chose YouTube. And they released 11 episodes for free and at a set time. And now they CHOSE to make the last ep paid and to create a complete chaos related to the distribution of the finale, because I honestly don't know at this point whether it is paid or not, what is paid and what is not, whether it is on Saturday or Sunday or it's for a ticket or for free on channel3 and apparently they have two endings????, which is always an alarming sign for me, because it's very Game of Thrones/Marvel style shit.

Besides, people have their own lives, their obligations, their schedules. Sometimes you just can't get around certain things and you can't watch a series in the available time, no matter how much you want. Secondly, releasing a product for free in order to limit access to it in the final phase is the worst manifestation of toxic capitalism. This is preying on the desperation and devotion of fans. The third thing is the selection of viewers into those who can afford it, have the time, have the resources and those who do not. And yes, sometimes even just $15 of an unexpected expense makes a huge difference in a person's budget. It's telling some of the fans that you are VIP and can sit in the front row, and the rest of the peasants should wait outside for two weeks 😄

tl;dr personally I want and can pay for: 1) the entire series on a legal platform 2) ADDITIONAL things, like specials, fan stuff, etc. I consider paying for access to the series finale, which until now was free, immoral.

But tbh I really have no idea what's going on, I go with the flow 🤡Whenever I check The Sign tag, I read more and more new information related to the possibility of watching the finale, and it's different every day. And if it turns out that the cut version of the series will be available for free on Channel 3, and the uncut version with subs will be available tomorrow with a ticket, it will be the funniest thing ever. Because that would mean that people paid $15 to watch, I don't know what, a sex scene? 😄

Idk, guys, instead of enjoying the finale, people are wondering how to watch it at all. And if IF starts doing this, won't others follow suit? 11 episodes for free, oh you want to watch the finale, well you have to pay or wait and dodge the spoilers 😈

And one last thing for potential defenders of this system, like "what's your problem, it will be available in 2 weeks, just wait": so you accept that not ALL fans will have a chance to experience the final ep together, which is the basis of the fan community? That some fans will experience and analyze the episodes this weekend, and the rest will wait?

[sapphosewrites]

top 10 ds9 fan fics you've written, ranked?

Oooh, tough question, friend! I don't even know what the criteria for this would be, because the most AO3 popular ones are not always my favorites... Okay, you know what, here we go. I'm just going to go for it and make some decisions. I'm giving myself a rule, though, that I can only chose one from a series, so I'm not just listing everything in the Terok Nor AU. I'll also try to hit different kinds of fics I've written.

10.) After the End of the World: A Survey of Seminal Works of Cardassian Post-Apocalyptic Literature from cross-posted to tumblr. 533 words, "An examination of the Cardassian post-apocalyptic literary genre before and after the Dominion War." This isn't my most popular or my best written but it's one of my favorites; I like in-world diegetic texts and worldbuilding and I'm obsessed with the idea of post-canon Cardassia as post-apocalypse.

9.) Never Have I Ever from The Game Is Afoot, 1,294 words, T, "Julian introduces Garak to the human game never have I ever." This was fun to write and is fun to reread every time! I often spend a lot of fic space on angst and identity and all the reasons why it's a bad idea for Julian and Garak to get together, but in this one we just get to spend time seeing them be clever and enjoy each other's company.

8.) Tribbles, Togetherness, and the Great River, 1,742 words, G, "In their shared quarters, Nog and Jake discuss tribbles, pets, and telling their families about their relationship." This is my only full standalone Jake/Nog fic, and it's another that was a pleasure to write and still makes me smile. It's fun to spend a sweet moment with two young people figuring out how they fit together.

7.) Del Floria's Tailor Shop, 336 words, also known as the space tumblr one. I think this is possibly the funniest thing I've ever written.

6.) Push Me Til I Break, 4,653 words, M, also known as the one where Garak interrogates Julian, and the role play goes wrong. Maybe the most tense thing I've ever written, and really leans into the ways in which two deeply hurting people can choose to hurt or hold.

5.) Growth, 45,843 words, T, "Julian and Garak grapple with their pasts and their feelings for each other at the end of the series." My super long post-canon Cardassia fic, back when I had no idea how to string a multi-chapter idea together. There's a lot I would change if I wrote this now (I've grown as a writer in many ways, including my ability to have scene transitions), but some of the conversations and moments in here are still absolute favorites of mine, particularly around ideas of self-forgiveness, the clash between values and actions, and the importance of choice.

4.) Predetermination, 22,200 words, T, Mirror Bashir arrives at the station and suddenly the nature/nurture debate has never had higher stakes. This is one of the places I think I've been most successful in using sci fi to ask big questions that hopefully resonate in the modern day, about who we are and how we become. Also, the ending takes inspiration from one of my favorite TNG episodes, and that was cool too.

3.) Especially the Lies, 13,019 words, T, "Something is going on with Garak, and no one knows what, except for possibly Julian Bashir." This is my only archive-warning-applied fic and it was really important to me to tell a story about care, for a character who I think doesn't believe he's allowed to have any, in a real world circumstance that too often people have to go through alone.

2.) Necessary Storms, 15,149 words, T, Julian and Starfleet Spouse Garak get entangled in Trill politics. I feel like this is one of the things I've written that most feels like it could be an episode of Star Trek, and is also a fairly unsubtle (though initially unintentional) way to explore populism, demagoguery, resource distribution, and revolt at a very particular moment in national politics with the aesthetic distance that sci fi offers.

1.) Old Friends: An Enigma Tale from Terok Nor AU. I'm exceedingly proud of this whole series, which started as just "what can I do with the idea of dabo boy Julian" and has turned into a sweeping journey covering how Terok Nor becomes Deep Space 9. This most recent installment is perhaps not indicative of the series as a whole, but it was a lot of fun to write and is also a dip into my other favorite genre aside from sci fi (murder mystery).