#THIS HAS BEEN DRIVING ME NUTS TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO MYSELF.

[croc-odette]

One of the first conversations Sisko has with the Prophets is about non-linear perception; why would anyone want to experience time in linear progression, ignorant of what happens next? Sisko explains the benefit of linear perception through a baseball game– the game is only enjoyable if one is constantly wondering what will happen next.

SISKO: With each new consequence, the game begins to take shape.

PROPHETS: And you have no idea what that shape is until it is completed.

SISKO: That’s right. In fact, the game wouldn’t be worth playing if we knew what was going to happen.

The Prophets are associated with religion, faith, and non-Federation culture; aspects of Star Trek that were either taboo in the writer’s room or in need of ‘correction’ from Starfleet and its futuristic scientists. The Prophets raise a question for the viewer; is non-linear thinking also in conflict with Star Trek’s usual commitment to science and rationality?

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Star Trek as a whole is both linear and non-linear. In linear fashion, it is a show about the future where technology has advanced humanity to the point that we can explore space, create matter out of energy, teleport, and meet extra-terrestrials. In non-linear fashion, episode premises are often about how familiar problems such as prejudice, war, sickness, and violence reoccur in the future despite the progress of technology and social causes. The show was originally set in an idealistic 2260s, but written to look constantly behind its shoulder at the current problems of the 1960s in the United States. The original series’ politics could be radical at the time it aired; but in non-linear back-and-forth fashion, a show written in the 1960s, set in the 2260s, and still watched in the 2020s reveals outdated and blatantly offensive tropes. At the same time,  newer shows written in a post-War-on-Terror United States can feel more conservative than their predecessors. The quality or messaging of the franchise cannot be argued as a linear progression, but is itself a messy and changing reflection of the writers, the show’s subjective goals, and the political atmospheres it’s both created and viewed in. If the franchise (or the audience) was truly linear, then the older series (30-60 years old) would have no meaning or purpose to today’s viewers, and would have been discarded in favor of more recent series. Instead, new generations consistently still find relevance in older series.

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Star Trek, especially TNG, tends to suggest advancement in technology as an obvious replacement for religion. The simplified linear idea is that a society begins with religion and ends at the ideal state of pure science. The Federation and Starfleet must be good, because they are our main characters, and therefore their exploration and desire to expand their purely scientific culture (linear) must be presented as a logical good.

DS9 challenges this concept not only by investing two of its main characters in Bajoran religion, but by overwhelmingly revealing the horror and tragedy still present in Federation societies with access to advanced technology. The Dominion War (much like the conflict with the Borg) kills tens of millions of people and seems hopeless. The scientifically advanced Federation still employs torture, assassination, forgery, and biological warfare in attempts to win it. Earth, a peaceful and insulated paradise, becomes wracked with paranoia when one Founder infiltrates. Bajor and the space station Deep Space Nine represent a gruesome history of colonization, occupation, and post-occupation, regardless of the occupying force’s technological capacity. The Federation, Bajor, and the Cardassian empire view each other in a barely held together truce with distrust, hatred, and disdain. Even when the Federation sends aid to Bajor, the limits of technology become more visible than they often are on Starfleet flagships. Machines for revitalizing polluted soil are fought over, and homes and land have to be obliterated for mining and energy. The space station itself was built by Bajoran slave labor and during the occupation was used as a dangerous ore processing facility. The toll of technological advancement becomes apparent in a way that Star Trek usually dodges; what does it take to build a space station? Who builds it, and under what conditions? Where does the material come from? Whose home is destroyed in order to get it? Who gets access to this technology? Who profits? If technology has to invent solutions to problems it created with past ‘solutions’ (see: the combustible engine leading to global warming), then has it created an objectively linear progression or a snake racing after its own tail? Is technology objectively advancing humanity if it still creates a massive imbalance of suffering and resource depletion where we choose not to see it?

The alternate simplified linear thinking is, well, okay then, religion is good and technology is bad. However, DS9 also critiques Bajoran religion rather than presenting it as an absolute good. Rather than bashing it for daring to exist at all, it pays attention to moments of corruption, fundamentalism, and power grabs. And technology in DS9, typically medicine, saves people and makes life in general easier. In an early episode called “Paradise,” Sisko and O’Brien crash on a planet where a previously stranded group of people have formed a cult without Starfleet technology. Later, it’s revealed that their leader had manipulated them into crashing, in order to forcibly deprive them of technology and shape them according to her own interest in ‘the ancient religions’; conveniently, she is at the top of their strict power structure. Rather than dismissing religion entirely, Sisko only coldly tells her “Perhaps one day you’ll even feel the hand of God on your shoulder.” The conflict is less about her shallow claims of technology versus religion, and more about her clear desire for punitive and total control over other people.

Both religion and technology are ancient aspects of human life, and cannot be simplified down to opposing or competing ends of a spectrum. Even for a non-religious society or individual, our interest in what’s mysterious or unfathomable about our world gives us humility, comfort, and curiosity; staring at stars or listening to music is not a ‘rational’ exercise that requires explanation in order to feel good. Modern humans evolved with a focused capacity on making and using tools, and the ability to teach and learn between generations, helping us survive and develop art and culture. Perceiving either our interest in the unknown or in science as the only ‘true’ way forward to a better life– however that may be defined– leaves little room for critique of either, and corrupt and exploitative power structures can grow without question. The idea that a single tool forward, a clear linear path, must be decided upon and committed to entirely– whether it’s to a futuristic utopia or existential salvation– tries to dodge the harder questions of personal choice, human behavior, and quests for control that often create the reoccuring problems in Star Trek no matter the time period.

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Sisko understands non-linear perception of time more personally than other Star Trek characters we’ve seen. He’s studied history, specifically flashpoints of Earth. He’s deeply aware of the racism that would have prevented him from enjoying a 1960s Las Vegas casino. His grief over his wife’s death is what helps him understand the non-linear time of the Prophets, just as his love of baseball helps them understand linear time. He starts off doubtful and clinical towards the Bajoran religion and his posting near the planet, and by the end of the series is sincerely committed to Bajor.

In an episode that focuses on Sisko’s identity as an African American and a Bajoran religious figure, he experiences a past life as a scifi writer in the mid-20th century United States on Earth. The episode explicitly raises non-linear thinking through Sisko’s questioning of whether he imagines the writer or the writer imagines him, and we as the audience watch a man from the distant future see himself as a man from our recent past. Racism, rather than being masked through genre allegory as prejudice against aliens, elves, or mutants, is undisguised racism– the episode deliberately draws the parallel and then removes it again when Sisko imagines racist cops as Cardassians for several seconds. A non-linear problem in Star Trek is it originated as a show interested in civil rights and social progress, and over time became so bogged down in convention and metaphor that fans openly and unironically raged at the idea (both for DS9 and Discovery) of a Black captain and perceived ‘political correctness’. The episode points to the linear through-line of scifi, when Sisko’s past self asserts that even though his story about a Black astronaut will not be published, the fact the idea existed at all proves it could one day happen. The events that lead from Benny Russell’s story to Benjamin Sisko’s existence, however, are hardly a straight line. Sisko’s actor, Avery Brooks, experienced racism on the set of the show, both from showrunners and lot guards who racially profiled him when he would drive in to the parking lot. Even in Star Trek’s stated premise of a future where prejudice on Earth has disappeared, the franchise itself has been plagued with overt racism, sexism, and homophobia. Sisko’s character, despite existing in a show that is supposedly post-racism, shows the way progress does not move forward in a neat line, but often double-backs and pulls constantly from both the past experience and knowledge of the oppressed, and from the past prejudice and control of the oppressor.

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In the episode “Explorers,” Sisko’s fascination with history, Bajor, engineering, and being Jake’s dad overlap. He researches and builds a traditional 16th century Bajoran spaceship that ‘sails’ on solar energy. If Sisko wanted to warp across the galaxy or replicate a model of the ship, he easily could. However, the ship for him serves as a pleasurable hobby, a way to bond with his son, and a deliberate retreading of the past and the experience of the people who lived it. The Cardassian empire (which often justifies its occupation of the Bajorans by claiming them to be technologically inferior, overly spiritual, militantly unambitious, and further behind in the Cardassian empire’s ‘linear’ understanding of a civilization’s progress and therefore right to exist) turn their nose up at the ship and its capabilities. By the end of the series, the Cardassian home planet’s reward for its commitment to technology, nationalism, and imperialism is revealed; even before the planet is brutalized by Dominion forces, it is a hollowed out, deeply polluted, and barely livable core of an empire starving for external resources to continue feeding its survival and ‘linear’ expansion. To the Cardassian empire, linear growth of capitalism, the military, and imperial reach was the perfect goal– it ends inevitably with mass casualties of its own population and major divisions. The survivors of the former empire, rather than start over and regrow into the same plant so it can hit the same brick wall, have to stop and simultaneously consider their propagandized history, devastated present, and uncertain future. The only way to actually progress and break the cycle is by questioning what their society considers progress to begin with; unstable imperial domination or sustainable peace?

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A scientific example of forcing non-linear science in a linear box is evolution. Evolution is sometimes falsely believed to be a process which will result ultimately in a superior, perfectly adapted species; a belief that at its most harmless is used to stroke our own egos as ‘the apex predator’ and at worst used to justify eugenics. However, evolution is a non-conscious process that simply creates and recreates species that can fill whatever niches exist in the moment. A species perfectly adapted to flight in dense jungles will fail completely if placed at the bottom of the ocean. A species adapted to both will waste bodily form and function on trying to check every box, and likely be edged out by more specific competitors. There is no end goal, only a series of events happening constantly, shaping, and reshaping, sometimes retreading genetic history for a pair of legs or a life in the water again, sometimes building up to something that does well until it doesn’t, from the largest whales to the smallest bacteria.

A more poetic way to think about all of it is Ursula K. Leguin’s quote, from the relevantly titled sci-fi novel, The Lathe of Heaven; “Love doesn't just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; re-made all the time, made new.”

Faith, technology, even the DNA of every species cannot be seen as arrows reaching a specific target, that once reached, will prevent all past problems forever onward. The argument is not that progress can never be meaningfully achieved, and neither is the argument that progress once reached will remain concrete and fixed. The argument is that any effort, making bread or a tv show or a better world, has to be constantly made, remade, pushed, held, and examined. When a modern problem arises in Star Trek, it is because the conscious effort necessary to solve that problem has grown stale or become forgotten. Characters solve their problems, with the help of technology, and in DS9 with the help of faith, but mostly with the will to confront the issue, to work collectively, to use intelligence and compassion, to bear what cannot be easily solved, and to understand the past’s continued relevance in the present and the future. Even as we perceive time in a linear fashion, and we hope to leave the world better than we found it in whatever way we can, we need non-linear understanding to consistently weave and mend our own places within history. In Star Trek, both Earth and the Cardassian Empire have similar technological advancements– but Earth only achieved warp-travel and replication technology after undergoing World War 3 and being forced to solve its social and ethical crises. Technological advancements in both societies veered into rapidly different results based on the differing cultures, and even then, future Earth risks settling into a fragile state of content ignorance rather than permanent utopia. DS9 implies that Earth’s progress depends on its capacity for maintained social self-awareness rather than technology. We need non-linear understanding to keep from kidding ourselves that we’ve permanently ‘solved’ some great problem of life, either through smaller phones or psuedo-spiritual epiphanies, and no longer need to worry about mistakes from the past. We need non-linear understanding to recognize when a step forward really has happened, and to make sure we remember that step has to “be remade all the time, made new.”

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In the first episode, we watch Sisko calmly and rationally explain to the Prophets our reality; that we live from one moment to the next, and use our past experiences to inform our decisions in the present about our future. The Prophets start to understand, but they distrust linear life for what they perceive as aggression, adversarial behavior, and lack of responsibility. We watch a capable Starfleet officer and an intelligent human being explain the most intrinsic and inevitable part of our lives; that we can only move forward in linear time. 

However, it is only once Sisko breaks down after repeatedly bringing himself to the death of his wife Jennifer, that the Prophets tell Sisko he exists in that moment and trust him. Beings moving through linear time do not do so carelessly; Sisko begs that he does not want to be at the moment of Jennifer’s death, that he wants to leave it behind; but he can’t. The moment existed, and will always exist for him. Sisko, crying, admits that “it’s not linear.”

[chairteeth]

"Nemu's Buddhist Self-Flagellation"

So it’s been driving me nuts for years that Nemu has so many religious undertones, yet I hadn’t really taken a closer look to figure out with 100% certainty which religion it was. The tie was between Shinto, Buddhism, and Christianity. I’ve always been more partial to Buddhism, but I had to check. LO AND BEHOLD, AFTER CHECKING, THE IDIOT IS BUDDHIST. And that explains so much! And now I need to talk about it. I’ll dedicate a small section at the very bottom separate from the rest (for spoilers from later in Arc 2) to Rabi because it’s crunchy, but most of this essay might honestly be “so this is Buddhism 101” followed by “this is how it applies to Nemu and conditions her character”. Here's the same thing done for Mikoto!

I’ll be explaining concepts of Japanese Buddhism from scratch as well as exactly how they apply to the character, so don’t worry if you don’t know much about it! Note, however, that while I am not Buddhist myself, my research did come from Buddhist sources (both in text form and in the form of, well, People).

You see, as per the Agency for Cultural Affairs Religious Yearbook (I checked years 2011-2023 to account for fluctuation and the general trend of religious decline), roughly 65-70% of the population of Japan is Buddhist and/or Shintoist. The two overlap often so there’s no use trying to categorize people as strictly one or the other. If I must quote the data on Wikipedia for an easier, non-Japanese source (that is also sourced from the Japanese report):

Population figures from the Agency for Cultural Affairs Religious Yearbook 2019, as of the end of 2018, are as follows: - Shinto: 80,219,808 (63.4%) - Buddhism: 91,336,539 (72.2%) - Christianity: 1,921,484 (1.5%) - Other: 7,851,545 (6.2%) Percentages calculated using the official total population figure of 126,435,000 as of the end of 2018.

What I mean to say by this is that Buddhism (as well as Shinto, obviously) has had and still has a significant impact on Japanese culture, way of life, etc. Now, for example, we know Mikoto was raised Buddhist, we know Ryoko is Buddhist, and we know the school everyone goes to in Sankyo Ward is a Buddhist school, but in Japanese media, they often strive for a more secular approach. Plus, especially when it comes to religions like Buddhism, most of the time, unless a character is very devoted to their religion or it’s a character trait the story/writers highlight, you won’t quite notice the signs that they’re religious, and yet chances are they are. 

In Nemu’s case, I looked into the way she speaks about certain topics and the words she uses, mainly. For this purpose, I scanned through the entire Japanese script of multiple stories including all of Arc 1. I don’t want to bog this down with too many examples, but I will give you one main indisputable example and mention a few other relevant things later for the actual character analysis. The example in question is simple. Nemu specifically uses the word for Avici (無間) to mean Hell a minimum of two times. That is a very specific word to use, because that my friends is the eighth and most painful of the eight hot hells in Buddhism, the hell of uninterrupted suffering, the deepest level reserved for the worst of the worst! (Nemu’s mental health is doing great why do you ask.) She also uses a word that most often refers to the Naraka realm which contains the sixteen hells of Buddhism (地獄, though this word can also refer to Christian Hell and general hell), when she’s referring to the underworld. 

To double down on one of the instances where Nemu uses the word for Avici, I will be very specific and just quote the girl directly. As we know by now, during Arc 1 Chapter 10 Episode 4, Nemu had this fun thing she decided to do where she fully intended to sacrifice herself, and she made a whole death speech, right? Here’s the death speech:

Perhaps this is enough to redeem me. Perhaps with this… I can be forgiven. But if my crime cannot be repaid through any means, I accept the infinite pyres of hell. It may take 349 eons for me to earn mercy, but if I have the story of my wish to now... Even hell's trials will be a blissful dream.

“Perhaps this is enough to redeem me. Perhaps with this… I can be forgiven.” -> Buddhist concept of karma, good actions that ease suffering and cause happiness grant good karma, bad actions that cause suffering grant bad karma. The former decreases the latter.

“But if my crime cannot be repaid through any means, I accept the infinite pyres of hell.” -> This is when the word for Avici is used, and Avici specifically is described in Japanese Buddhist texts as “a vast, fiery realm with immense walls and gates” (kinda similar to Christian Hell in this sense), hence pyres.

“It may take 349 eons for me to earn mercy, but if I have the story of my wish to now... Even hell's trials will be a blissful dream.” -> In Buddhism, unlike in, say, Christianity, wherever you are sentenced to go is never eternal. The duration of a being’s stay in Avici is said to be incredibly long, sometimes described as eons or countless lifetimes. But regardless, the cycle of rebirth continues, and eventually, a being might be reborn into a different realm based on their karma. That is what she means by this, she’s not being dramatic, she’s being rather literal. Oh and for funsies, the various forms of torture people in Avici are subjected to include but are not limited to: being burned, crushed, and dismembered. These torments are not fatal, and people are continuously “revived” to experience the suffering all over again.

As for why Nemu thinks she deserves that, very simple! See, Avici basically represents the ultimate consequence of negative karma. Nemu as a Magius committed several offenses considered extremely serious in Buddhism, which were murder and lying. Maybe three if we count theft…? I am unsure if she would count any of what she did as theft. I’m assuming she is focused on the murder and most importantly the lying and general manipulation of the Feathers (likely made worse by Uwasa shenanigans). Other offenses that can lead to Avici are parricide and slandering the dharma, but those do not apply here.

The Buddhist perspective on Nemu also makes a few other things make more sense than they did before, and it brings up some interesting possibilities, but alas, I must now take a little break from being character-specific to give you a rundown on some bare basics of Buddhism. This is not exhaustive by any means.

Modern Buddhism as per its renewal during the Taisho Era is a lot more about ethical and social teachings, and if you so choose, scholarly pursuit. They put a lot of emphasis on morality, good and bad actions, karma, atonement, etc., and they did (and afaik still do) lots of social justice activism stuff. One should not conflate Western vs Eastern religions, because most of the time, there is no real equivalent between concepts, or at least, it doesn’t match closely enough. Let me explain the main branches of Buddhism a little for clarity first:

My assumption is that a majority of readers will be either Christian/other Abrahamic religion or irreligious (likely raised Abrahamic). So I’ll use Christianity to introduce this part. Christianity has many denominations like Catholic, Protestant, etc., each with its own specific doctrines and practices. Denominations typically imply a more centralized structure and a set of shared beliefs that differentiate them from other denominations within the same religion. Japanese Buddhism, however, is a broader term that refers to the various Buddhist schools and traditions that have taken root and developed in Japan. It encompasses diverse schools with varying interpretations and practices, existing under the broader umbrella of Mahayana Buddhism, which is a broader tradition and emphasizes the bodhisattva ideal (I will define what this is later) and the possibility of enlightenment for all beings. The other main branch of Buddhism is Theravada, which is not prominent in Japan and emphasizes individual enlightenment through strict adherence to the Buddha’s teachings. Therefore, in this sense, Japanese Buddhism is more like a regional expression of Mahayana Buddhism, distinct enough not to be called by the same name and with unique characteristics for its various schools of thought—which themselves may have local variations—while the core foundation remains the same. From now on, assume that different schools of thought may emphasize different aspects of the religion and different parts of it, and we have no way of knowing which specific school of thought any character belongs to.

Now, time to cover some core concepts. I want you to keep three characters in mind while we look at this, and those characters are Nemu, Rabi, and Mikoto. First of all, in honor of how they are traditionally believed to be the first teachings of the Buddha, we have the Four Noble Truths. They diagnose the human condition as suffering (dukkha) and offer a path of liberation from it. The truths in question are, in simple terms:

Suffering exists

Suffering has a cause (craving and attachment)

Suffering can be ended

There is a path to end suffering (the Eightfold Path)

We will get to the Eightfold Path in a second. Another core concept is the Three Jewels, which are the guiding principles of Buddhism:

Buddha, the historical founder (his actual name was Siddhartha Gautama) who achieved enlightenment and showed the path for others

Dharma, which are the teachings of the Buddha, including the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path

Sangha, which is the Buddhist community that provides support and guidance on the path to enlightenment

Something you may have heard often in relation to Buddhism is the word karma and the concept of rebirth. Let me explain this a little more. Those are core beliefs as well, and normally some of the most important to laypeople in the modern day. It’s very simple: actions and intentions (karma) determine the quality of one’s next life in the cycle of rebirth (samsara). The goal is to escape this cycle and achieve enlightenment/nirvana, that’s what they call breaking free from the cycle of suffering and achieving a state of perfect wisdom and liberation. That is one of the two goals of Buddhism, while the other is simply helping others. In ordained groups, this “helping others” often manifests as either activism or working towards the enlightenment of all beings, it’s about the bodhisattva ideal again. Before I define what that is, let me keep talking about karma for a second.

Karma is strictly different from what Christianity calls sin, though in translations people will often go for “sin” because the concept of sin is better understood in the West than the concept of karma. Karma is literally considered a natural law, exactly like gravity. And no one entity applies gravity, do they? The same way that gravity doesn’t have morals attached, doesn’t need to be administered by a mighty god and can produce suffering in some cases and happiness in others, karma doesn’t have morals attached, doesn’t need to be administered by a mighty god and can produce suffering in some cases and happiness in others, since it can be positive or negative. The aren't any real “sins” in Buddhism as we define them in the West, because karma is not a moral system. The actions that are classified as “bad” are classified as such because they will bring more suffering to yourself and/or others. Karma simply says that there are some actions that cause happiness and peace for yourself and/or others, and others that do the opposite. If you stick to the former and not the latter, you will be happier. Because of how sins work in the West (due to, yes, the institutions that run our religions), some folks are tempted to think that if they aren’t caught stealing or harming others or whatever, they will not suffer. But, karma is a natural law and as any other natural law is therefore infallible. By those actions you have planted a seed in your mind that will ripen as suffering when the right circumstances arrive. Even if it takes until after you die.

On this note, in Arc 2 Chapter 1, when Yuna threatened to, in essence and I think literally, split Touka’s skull with her kanabo, Nemu was resigned. She didn’t react, all she said, specifically, is “I suppose that’s karma (因果応報)”. The resignation is because karma is a law of nature. It cannot be avoided. This also puts Touka and Nemu’s self-destructive attempts at atonement in a completely different light. It’s not just remorse. Yes, that’s part of it, and probably the majority of it on Touka’s side, but on Nemu’s? Punishment is inevitable, so they might as well take the bulk of their punishment into their own hands (something something issues with control). Besides, as we saw in Christmas String, both girls believe themselves to be bad by nature, unable to help others or be kind no matter what they do, and Nemu in her hospital clothes costume story, towards the end, also says that being with Ui highlights just how twisted/bitter/perverse she herself is (the line is 自分がどれだけ捻くれてるか 本当に自覚させられるけど). Touka and Nemu do not for a second believe they are capable of accruing good karma, and especially not enough to cancel out all of their bad karma from the Magius era. They’re wrong, obviously, we know that, but they’re just little traumatized babies so we forgive them for being a little bit stupid. Particularly funny with how all of Christmas String was them doing good deeds, most of it of their own free will for a pair of children they didn’t even know at all. But I digress.

Since I mentioned the bodhisattva ideal again earlier, now’s a good time to define what that is. For this paragraph, keep Iroha and Ui in mind. A bodhisattva is a being who has vowed to achieve enlightenment and is perfectly capable of it, but chooses to remain in the cycle of rebirth to help others reach enlightenment as well. They are motivated by immense compassion (called karuna) for all sentient beings, and they are defined by selfless service. Their goal isn’t personal liberation alone, but the liberation of all beings from suffering. Key practices and characteristics of theirs are qualities like generosity, morality, patience, effort, meditation, and wisdom, engaging in acts of kindness and service to benefit others, and using various methods to teach and guide others based on their needs and understanding. Buddhism’s compassion tenet in general is specified as compassion and understanding towards others and towards yourself. But yeah, I don’t think I have to explain why I said to keep Iroha and Ui in mind during this paragraph. I do find it crunchy when a Buddhist character sees another as “unreachable” and puts them on a pedestal because of how Buddha-like they are (embodying the virtues of Buddhism, the bodhisattva ideal).

Moving on, the Eightfold Path is a fundamental concept in Japanese Buddhism just like it is in all other forms of Buddhism. It outlines the path towards liberation from suffering as described in the Four Noble Truths. It’s traditionally divided into three categories:

Wisdom, which refers to developing right understanding and right thought

Ethical conduct, which refers to practicing right speech, right action, and right livelihood

Mental discipline, which refers to cultivating right effort, right mindfulness, and right concentration

The reason it’s called the Eightfold Path is because it has Eight Practices, which are as follows:

Right View, which means having a clear understanding of the Four Noble Truths and the nature of reality

Right Thought, which means cultivating wholesome thoughts free from greed, hatred, and delusion

Right Speech, which means speaking truthfully, kindly, and avoiding gossip or harmful speech

Right Action, which means acting ethically and non-violently, respecting all living beings

Right Livelihood, which means earning a living through honest means that do not harm others

Right Effort, which means putting in the effort to cultivate positive qualities and overcome negative ones

Right Mindfulness, which means being fully aware of the present moment, your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations without judgment

Right Concentration, which means developing a state of focused and clear mind through meditation practices

The Eightfold Path is also not a linear progression, but rather a set of interconnected practices that support each other.  By cultivating these practices, individuals can gradually progress on the path to enlightenment, or at least that’s what is taught. As a result of the Eightfold Path, common core practices include meditation, ethical conduct, and compassion. Meditation serves to develop mindfulness, focus, and inner peace, though practiced more among the ordained population. The ones most practiced and most highlighted among the laypeople are ethical conduct, which is just following moral principles like non-violence (ahimsa), truthfulness, and simply Not Stealing, and compassion, which is just about empathy and understanding for all living beings.

Let me be clear, there are precepts of behavior in Buddhism and things that are seen as bad/frowned upon for them. Generally, they all cause suffering, except for intoxicants, which attempt to flee from suffering (which doesn’t lead anywhere good, according to Buddhists). It’s stuff like no intentional murder (especially your mother and father), no stealing, no lies, no intoxicants, no sensual misconduct (such as rape or adultery). This last thing is sometimes translated as “no sex at all” due to how prevalent that kind of doctrine is in Abrahamic religions, despite the fact that it’s only in some Buddhist traditions, particularly Theravada Buddhism, that monks and nuns specifically take vows of celibacy as part of their monastic commitment so they can focus entirely on their spiritual practice and detachment from worldly desires. Laypeople from either branch don’t, and neither do monastics of the Mahayana branch, which is the umbrella Japanese Buddhism falls under. The only thing about it is that since the focus of Buddhism for practicing laypeople is on ethical conduct, practicing faithfulness within a relationship and making sure that relationship is healthy is hugely important.

Neeeeext up, the kleshas (煩悩). The kleshas are important and often translated as mental defilements, poisons, or afflictions. In essence, they represent the Unwholesome Mental States that cause suffering and hinder us from achieving enlightenment. A lot of the main kleshas match up with the Christian concept of the Seven Deadly Sins, but again, they are treated more as weeds in a garden and something you have to work through than “Oh You Are BAD Because You Did A Bad!!!”. Buddhism teaches that kleshas are not permanent fixtures in our minds, and so with effort and practice, they can be weeded out. Understanding the kleshas just helps us identify the root causes of our suffering, and by recognizing these Mental Defilements:tm:, we can work on purifying our minds and cultivating positive qualities like compassion and wisdom. The Buddhist practices I’ve mentioned (like meditation) are, in theory, designed to help us overcome the kleshas and achieve a state of inner peace and clarity. The kleshas are bad because they prevent us from experiencing true peace and happiness, which is what the Buddhist teachings are trying to help with.

Interestingly, you know what’s considered a klesha? Ignorance. Ignorance (or delusion), described as a lack of understanding about the true nature of reality, leads to confusion and making poor choices, hence why it’s counted as a klesha. To touch on the ones that match the Seven Deadly Sins for a few examples, envy is defined as resentment towards someone else’s good fortune, which creates negativity and dissatisfaction in yourself. Arrogance (pride) is defined as an inflated sense of self-importance, which causes disconnection from others. Feeling rage (wrath) and the like causes us to lash out or become bitter. Hatred can cause us to act in harmful ways and damage our relationships, not to mention the number it does on our own emotional energy. You see how this works, right? Buddhism isn’t telling you that you’re bad for having human thoughts and emotions and you’re going to BURN unless you pray really hard, it’s gently putting a hand on your shoulder and telling you, hey, you’re hurting yourself, let’s try to help you. However, it does put the responsibility of improving yourself right on your shoulders. That’s your job. Be better. Which… can be hard. Particularly if you’re convinced you can’t do that.

Another commonish concept in Japanese Buddhism is that of honne (本音) and tatemae (建前). It’s about the duality of inner thoughts (honne) and outward expressions (tatemae) in Japanese culture. While not strictly a Buddhist concept, it resonates with Buddhist teachings on impermanence and the constructed nature of reality, and I figure it’s especially relevant in a society that is so high context and polite (and, hey do not externalize your problems or cause trouble for The Collective okay?). The characters to think about here are Nemu with repressed bitterness and anger, and Mikoto with very outwardly expressed bitterness and anger. Mikoto is obvious, and because she was obvious, she got attention. I won’t speak too much about her because someone else is preparing to do so. Nemu, however, internalizes all of her problems and emotions, mostly for people pleasing reasons, as I explained in my other essays, but this is most likely affected by her religious leanings. The scholarly side of Buddhism fits Nemu particularly well.

As an aside before I tell you about Buddhist cosmology, let me explain a little something. If Nemu is a Buddhist, why did she do everything she did as a Magius? Simple. “The good this will do and the happiness I’ll bring to all Magical Girls in the present and the future will outweigh the bad” and if you think about it, becoming a witch means you are doomed to wander in eternal suffering which goes against everything Buddhism stands for. So, in light of that worst case scenario that isn’t even acknowledged by greater society, Nemu will make the sacrifice for the good of the many, to save them. She wants to save magical girls so bad, for both selfish and selfless (+religious) reasons. She was thinking the same way we saw her think in Arc 1 Chapter 10 Episode 4, which was “if I make this great big sacrifice for the sake of good, maybe I’ll be forgiven”. Much like part of why she minimizes her own pain so much is because of the Four Noble Truths telling her that suffering is everywhere and that being alive is suffering—further supported by her being terminally ill and hospitalized for presumably her entire childhood (since her brother acts like she’s a complete stranger), which is not exactly conducive to optimism or to seeing the love and light in the world.

Another extra note on Nemu’s philosophy that is sort of unrelated to the rest of the essay but I had to put it somewhere: Japanese culture is also influenced by Confucianism, which emphasizes filial piety (respect for parents) and respect for teachers. These concepts unfortunately might blend with Buddhist principles in parent-child and mentor-pupil relationships. That and the people pleasing are two of the big reasons Nemu acts the way she does with her family, her parents in particular. She feels the weight of a perceived duty to one’s parents and family, and she doesn’t think she can criticize her parents even when she’s frustrated and/or angry about their behavior, not even behind their backs. Since before she shared a room with Touka and Ui, she most likely spent almost all of her time reading, she most definitely clings to the concept of filial piety as a sort of behavioral guide in her desperation to be loved by her parents. Imagine her alone in the dark, bedridden and in pain, after lights out, crying quietly on the pages of a book about Confucian philosophy and thinking about this, starved for affection and so confused as to why it’s not working. The answer has to be that she’s a burden. Her medical bills, sending her clothes, visiting her, all of it is a burden to her parents. She tries to be as out of the way as possible, as helpful as possible, in hopes of making up for it.

*COUGH* Anyway. Japanese Buddhist cosmology adopts the core ideas of general Buddhist cosmology, but incorporates some unique elements influenced by Shinto beliefs, as you might imagine. For example, for the afterlife journey, the Sanzu River is uniquely important in Japan. It’s usually symbolic (and you can think of it as similar to the Styx in Greek religion), and it’s what separates the world of the living from the afterlife. The difficulty of crossing (calm bridge, rough ford, treacherous shoals) reflects the severity of the deceased’s karma. Based on a being’s karma, they are judged and reborn into one of the six realms, where they will stay temporarily until their karma returns to zero (upon which they will be reborn again into a different realm, as far as I understand).

“Nahi, what do you mean by realm?” Ah! Let me explain. In Buddhism, there are six realms we can exist in. The Six Realms of Existence are:

Deva realm (Heavens), a realm of pleasure and happiness, but temporary as beings' karma depletes.

Asura realm, a realm of jealousy and conflict, where beings constantly compete for power and resources

Human realm, the realm of ordinary humans, characterized by suffering, impermanence, and the opportunity for spiritual growth

Animal realm, a realm of suffering and limited consciousness, where beings are at the mercy of their instincts and predators

Preta realm, a realm of insatiable hunger and thirst, where beings cannot find sustenance

Naraka realm (Hells), basically the realm of intense suffering caused by negative karma

Of course, when a being is sentenced to one of these realms after death, its stay there is never permanent. Japanese Buddhism adheres to the concept of eight hot hells and eight cold hells within the Naraka realm. Each of the hells might be further subdivided into even more specific hells with unique punishments. The eight hot hells are characterized by intense heat, fire, and torture. Pretty similar to most depictions of Christian Hell in that sense. The severity of punishment increases as you descend deeper (something something Divine Comedy). I am unsure if they have actual English names, my source was Japanese, I tried my best here. The eight hot hells are as follows:

Burning Hell (焦熱地獄): sinners are tormented in a blazing inferno

Hell of Black Ropes (黒縄地獄): souls are bound with black ropes and sliced with burning blades

Crushing Hell (衆合地獄): beings are crushed by immense boulders or pressed together in a confined space

Screaming Hell (叫喚地獄): souls endure excruciating pain that forces them to scream incessantly

Great Screaming Hell (大叫喚地獄): even worse than the previous one, with even more intense pain and screaming

Iron Pot Hell (極楽地獄): souls are boiled alive in giant iron cauldrons

Changing Hell (正変地獄): sinners experience constant transformations into different tortured forms

Unremitting Hell (無間地獄): the deepest and most severe hell, with relentless suffering without respite

This last one is Avici, Nemu’s preferred destination apparently. As for the eight cold hells, they are characterized by extreme cold and icy torment. And I give up on trying to translate their names, so here they are:

Hell of Arbuda (鞕抜地獄): souls experience excruciating pain as their bodies develop chilblains that burst open

Hell of Nirarbuda (鞕抜地獄): a continuation of the previous hell, where the chilblains worsen and constantly burst

Hell of Atata (閊陀地獄): souls shiver uncontrollably in the intense cold

Hell of Hahava (臛臛婆地獄): sinners lament in the cold, making "haa" sounds due to the pain

Hell of Huhuva (虎虎婆地獄): souls chatter their teeth uncontrollably due to the extreme cold (yes I know this sounds similar to Atata)

Hell of Utpala (鬱波羅地獄): the intense cold turns the skin blue, resembling a blue lotus flower

Hell of Padma (鉢特摩地獄): blizzards crack open frozen skin, revealing raw and bloody flesh

Hell of Mahapadma (摩訶鉢特摩地獄): the entire body cracks open due to the intense cold, exposing the internal organs

Alina would love some of these. I’m sure she does. But, yes, that rundown was mostly to show you that there are many, many words for Hell that a Buddhist can use, and Nemu specifically used the abbreviation for Avici (無間). So as far as I’m concerned, that and the few other subtler things point towards her being a Buddhist, and it makes for a more interesting interpretation of the character. Nemu has so much trauma and as it turns out, part of it has a religious flavor. Lovely!

To end this off on a positive note, I have this thought for you. Touka and Nemu's final state as Uwasa Queens technically counts as nirvana, enlightenment. They made a selfless sacrifice, let go of all worldly attachments, escaped the cycle of rebirth (since I do not think an uwasa is part of that?). They are at their wisest and kindest, at their best in all ways and are also doing good, honest work and making an effort for the happiness of others. It may not look like the traditional way of achieving nirvana, but... It is definitely their nirvana.

I will write one last very brief section about Rabi, but the essay/lecture has pretty much come to an end here.

Rabi’s entire status of resignation reminds me a lot of Nemu’s. Rabi is resigned to suffer and keeps advancing the hand on her watch and doomposting, despite the fact that it is entirely her choice to do that. In the uh… I hesitate to call it “grand finale of Folklore’s arc” near the end of Arc 2, what she wants to do is end all magical girls to ease suffering. It’s very Buddhist. That’s all.

[yey56]

Villainous x sarcastic and trouble maker dealer.

DR FLUG🧪:

Thinks your the rational version of Dementia, at least you can be reasoned with.

Sometimes you feel bored and just start to move things from its place, not very far away but defenetly not where they were and it drives him nuts, he's seriously considering that he might have early Alzheimer.

He still thinks its Dementias fault that his things are disappearing and reapearing in different places. You're just laughing in the corner watching they're discussions unravel. 😜

Tries to ally with you whenever he wants to deal with Dementia because your smartass actitude and sarcasm makes you the perfect match for her.

When he's explaining something in the commercial videos he's already expecting either you or Dementia commenting something. 👀

Even though he doesn't admit it much, he likes your funny nature and you're easygoing self.

When you're feeling kind you tell him jokes and make funny comments so he can have a more relaxed environment.

he always laughs at your jokes and sassy answers, but he will always try to hide it.

You're like a ticking bomb waiting to explode, only that you explode with words, every time you open your mouth he doesn't really know what to expect. 💥

You don't always get along but you are able to have fun together and cooperate 👍

DEMENCIA🦎:

Three words: ✨Partners in crime✨

When you're bored you team up with her to annoy Flug, or anyone at your reach.

Once you guys stole a bank and run away with a bycicle so while you were scaping you looked back at the police for a second, that single thing made you both fall to a river (Spoiler: Dementia had to drag you out)

Whenever one of you has committed a crime you can bet that the other is either involved or fully aware of it.

Sometimes you're bored and instead of being productive like you boss has many times aggressively kindly suggest you, you think is a better idea to make an absolute mess. Of course Dementia appears and you both really get carried away. So when shit hits the fan, Black hat appears with all the intention to yell at you both, thats before Dementia literally grasps herself around him.

Of course you take advantage of this to make a quick scape before the boss can notice you presence.

After 2 hours of Black hat trying to get Dementia off of him he called you to deal with her, so after another 30 minutes of bribing her with sugar and energy drinks (probably not your best idea but certainly the quickest one), you finally got her away from your boss.

All of Hat island knows you as the main troublemakers of the place, the almost abandoned police department in the island has a honorary photo of your mug shots in the main entry.

Dem/You: our friendship goes beyond your average kind of bond (🤨🏳️‍🌈)

You: but not because we're gay.

Dem: No, not because we're gay.

Dem/You: were close but not that way, the only one that I love is Blackhat/ Myself 😃.

BLACK HAT 🎩:

He can appreciate witty and mentally quick people, smartness is useful.

Has catch you once or twice slipping some sarcastic comments from time to time, if he's in a good mood he'll ignore them, if not he'll just look at you menacingly.

Sometimes when he doesn't want to go to an event he's been invented to you are send in his place (and if he doesn't like very much the host of said event he allows you to insult other guest, you used the "his words not mine" as an excuse 😈)

You have the bad habit of cursing a lot and you have already been warned that if you keep insulting so much he will tear your tongue away from you mouth.

He wasn't done it yet but instead has put soap in your mouth, and once physically banned you from saying curse words.

You: YOU...

Dem: stupid

You: AND ABSOLUTELY...

Dem: useless fuck

You: I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH YOU...

Dem: bitch-smiling

Flug: what the hell are you doing?

You: boss has banned me from saying curse words but I'm unstoppable.

Black hat: I don't think so - turns you tongue into an alive fish. 💀

You basically have no filter, so whenever he wants the truth from an employee you're always the one he asks first because hes certain that you will be honest (sometimes some money is involved but that's another story).

Has catch you sometimes overhearing others conversations in a dark corner, only for you to scare them after .He also enjoys scaring people so thats a hobbie you have in common.

Once for Halloween you proposed the boss to scare the living shit of everyone in the manor for the whole day, he liked that idea so you spent the rest of the day hearing the screams of the others. (+ Points for your malevolence 👍).

One time you were way to honest with him in a day in which he had worst mood than usual (not a good idea) so ONCE AGAIN he punished you taking away you ability to speak (has happened more times that you can count). When you tried to apologise to him, you had to get creative so you got a notebook and wrote this:

You: *writing* ... --- .-. .-. -.-- / -... --- ... ... 😔☹️

Black hat: what the fuck is this?!

You: *writing* remorse code :)

Black hat: now I'm even angrier than before. >:(

505 🐻:

Every time he sees you doing something shady you always give him a lollipop to bribe him (always works).

You're his favourite story teller, since you have a way with words every story you tell him is really fun.

You spent a whole morning doing sock puppets of yourself and other characters.

When you and Dementia make plans for you crimes outings, the both on you and 505 draw together maps and of course outcomes (with Dementia of course it ends up in really unrealistic outcomes but it's fun to imagine them)

You have tried to teach him how to make jokes and pranks, but his concept of a prank is stopping halfway and hugging the intended victim.

You ask him to make empty cakes so you can put a little bomb inside of it. Every time it explodes, everyone near that cake ends up dirty with sugar.

Your always take it easy with him so the pranks you pull on him all innocent and don't cause any kind of harm.

You're a little soft for that big guy, you will never admit it out loud though.

You: you're to good for this world

505: 😃

You: but that's ok, I'll be shitty enough for the both of us

[novosg]

Do you think you can do a headcannon w/. Monster trio with a s/o who has OCD? I'm OCD , and I know (just for me idk how other people react to theirs ) before I fall asleep , I have to recheck the locks on my doors , or check if the burners are off on my stove. Usually if I don't check atleast three times , I won't be able to sleep. Sometimes I try to fight it off, but I end up just checking because it literally drives me nuts! But yeah , a s/o like that, maybe they wake up in the middle of the night and see that their s/o isn't in bed , and went out to go looking for them ? Thank you! I love your writing , I love that's its diverse , and I'm always going back to your page to see if you have any new uploads. Thank you for your time and effort you put into your writings! Xxx Big fan !!

Of course! I myself have no experience with OCD so I hope I got this right! And tysm! I can’t even begin to express how much it means to to hear that! I’m so glad you’re enjoying my writing :) 🫶🏾🫶🏾

Monster Trio with a S/O who has OCD

Fluff, G/N!reader, the boys being supportive

Luffy

He doesn’t really notice at first

But when he does he's pretty blunt about asking you about it

He means well of course, just needs to be educated

He’s a bit confused at first, but after you talk it over with him he couldn't be more supportive!

Might pout a little that you didn’t tell him at first but he gets over that pretty quick

Has enough sense to realize it might’ve been a little hard to open up about

Every night he goes with you and chats about whatever comes to mind while you do your routines

And if you prefer to be alone he’d be right in y’all’s room waiting on you

Is like your own personal reminder-whether you need him to be or not

Will roll over and be like: “Y/N, don’t you need to go check the stuff?”

Even if you two are separated for whatever reason, his mind will drift over to you whenever that time rolls around and wonders if you’re still keeping up with your routine

If you’re ever feeling down he’s immediately stretching his face every which way trying to make you laugh and feel better

And if that’s not the type of support you need he’ll buckle down and get serious in order to console you

Will be there for you as much as humanly possible and then some

Zoro

Is one of the most observant people on board so he notices pretty quickly

Doesn’t say anything about it at first, just kinda deems it as a random habit of yours

Until he realizes you're doing it every night. Almost as if you need to do it

Thinks about what could the reasoning could be for hours on end before he finally decides to ask you about it

Follows shortly after you when you head into the kitchen and nearly gives you a heart attack in the process

“Y/N.” When you whirl around to face him he’s leaning over by the door giving you that knowing stare of his. “What are you doing?”

Is quiet while you explain it to him but that’s mainly because he’s super deep in thought

If he seems a bit annoyed please don’t think it's towards you. He’s more than frustrated with himself that he didn’t put two and two together and wasn’t there for you in all the times he could’ve been

Is a bit awkward in trying to offer help (but that’s mainly because he has the emotional availability of a rock), but he genuinely wants to help however he can

Even asks Chopper about what he could do to help you out

As much as he loves getting some sleep, he’s more than willing to stay up and wait for you

Has your routine more downpacked then you almost

Like he actually has a timeframe for the time it takes you to make your rounds. And trust and believe if you’re taking longer than usual he’s up and looking for you to see if anything’s wrong

Remember what I said about that emotional availability? Yeah..Zoro isn’t too good with sensitive talks (he tries, though) but if there’s days where everything feels like too much and you need him to listen or just simply be there, he’s right where you need him

Sanji

Has like a 6th sense for when people are in the kitchen when they’re not supposed to be so he finds out fairly quick. Especially when he wakes up and sees you’re not in bed

Is more concerned than curious when he asks what’s keeping you up

Once you tell him, he’s immediately ready to be at your service

“Oh, my love, how could I have been so blind? Tell me what you need and your prince will provide!”

If you don’t really need anything physical from him that’s fine too

Now if you need him to be there for you mentally and/or emotionally he’s right there by your side

Encourages you to come to him no matter what. He never wants you feel alone or like you can’t do so

Is very good at consoling people and never hesitates to offer soothing words or simply just a shoulder to lean on

Goes above and beyond and tries to do his own research. Just like Zoro, he’ll even ask Chopper for advice as well

Makes sure to leave the kitchen unlocked for as long as you need it open

Will also stay up and wait for you, even if you tell him he doesn’t need to

Once you get back into bed he’ll whisper all sorts of reassuring and sweet nothings to you before one of you falls asleep

To him, you’re in this together and any sort of helping hand you need he’ll lend

[littletealseal]

TW: animal death mention

Wish I wouldn't keep starting these posts like this but!... hey guys, been awhile hasn't it?... muh

Ok but for real a lot has been happening in my life since I last fell off this website... again, I've been doing some stuff with my girlfriend and spending time with her too, we've been working on some projects that aren't art but video game related so that's also a thing... and then the biggest thing to shake my world up...

My dog Vanilla Swirl... has sadly passed away...

Ik ik this is kinda a big thing to drop but I feel I need to just get it out there because while I knew my life would be flipped from the trauma of loosing her.. I didn't know it would be this bad. Like ever since last week when we had to put her down (she was very old at 14 years and was ready to move on ) I felt like I had zero energy, even less energy than I already had issues with! I couldn't bring myself to check in on people I knew and even games for daily stuff, plus I got a bad stomach bug last week as well so that didn't help anything.

I'm not trying to gain any sympathy but to just explain where I've been and where I want to go with this blog.

I deleted my last art piece since I honestly felt after thinking on things it was a very stupid post to make, "not needing certain things" I was so dumb to think that stuff, because I'm needing to regress more than ever due to all this trauma being hurled at me now, not to mention just getting through each day without any problems. Man this post is sounding more and more like a vent post huh?

I honestly want to get back into drawing, because it's something I've always had at my disposal, my ability to draw and create. I'm honestly getting real tired of just letting my abilities rot away and not being able to do anything with them when I need them most. I want to perfect my skills and go somewhere with them, so from this post forward I'm going to attempt to post a drawing (being a doodle or full illustration) here or on my mains just so then at least I can get back into the swing of things, just like how it was when I was a kid 💔

I'm not sure when I'll make a digital drawing since I want to get a proper setup for that (since with how things are with my tablet and it's cables it's driving me NUTS ) but look forward to some classic paper and pen doodles from me :3

See you guys later c:

[dipolardruid]

ok can i refer to myself as 🌧 anon? Well, I'm very curious about the yandere stepmother and the yandere biomother, what would happen if the reader wanted to reconnect with the biomother? Would it be a battle of mothers? ...man my character would only be like:

yandere biomom/yandere stepmom: which side are you on?!

reader: the side that talks to me and treats me nicer

Yes of course you can! Welcome aboard 🌧!

I just answered a similar ask to this right here

But I will entertain a little.

TW: Arguing, Mild cursing

"I'm only on the side of the one who talks and treats me better." You says quickly in an attempt to stop their fighting.

Almost in sync they both look at you with exasperation " (Y/N)...seriously." your mother says in a huff "Sweetheart yo-" Betra stops as your mother interrupts her "Don't call them Sweetheart!" She says her eyebrows furrowing in anger.

"(Y/N) let's go." Your mother grabs your wrist in which Betra grabs your other arm "what do you think you're doing you can't just take them as you please!" Betra says loudly "Yes I can their MY child not yours! Your just the whore who warms their fathers bed at night!" You stumble to the left as your mother pulls you towards her.

Your jaw drops with your eyebrows furrowing eyes widening in shock upon hearing your mother say that to Betra, only to feel a tug at your right as Betra holds you in place.

At this point you realize everyone in the store watching the commotion more specifically watching as you are stuck in a game of tug of war "(Y/N) push her off and let's go NOW." She says her teeth gritted in an attempt to prevent herself from raising her voice at you.

"Is everything alright here?" Hearing a mans voice you turn your head to face him along with Betra and your mother from here things would start to slowly become more heated.

This is would lead to everyone being told to leave the premises, once you all would step out you still being held by both arms would finally be asked to choose who you want to go with, depending on your choice it will end much differently.

As for wanting to reconnect, your father would be hesitant but would let you since it'd be your decision in the end.

Betra as stated absolutely loathes your mother she doesn't even see her as human, she understands why you want to see your mother, you don't know the full picture just wants been shown, she's tried to encourage your father to explain to you what happened but he always says the same thing "He doesn't want to destroy the image you have of your mother." Which drives her nuts but will bite her tongue.

Even if she despises her even she can't deny that your mother does everything necessary for you but in her eyes that doesn't make up for just leaving you and your father behind at least she had the decency to not take any of your belongings when she had left.

As much as she disagrees with you wanting to reconnect she can't do much other than to try to talk you out of it but she knows doing so will affect the relationship she has with you and your father, so she just watches and stays quiet until something happens that will require her to jump in.

Request are open!

[sc3n3kitt3h]

GUYS SHOULD I CHANGE MY USERNAME

i want 2 change it cuz it doesnt rlly represent me anymore. scene-ness isnt as big of a part of my identity as it was when i chose my username. its been so aestheticized and tiktok-ified that its kind of less fun now. i still love it very much but more than anything i want 2 distance myself from that sort of homogenized aesthetic type community. i hate it a lot. i also really dont like when people try and put my art into dumb "scenecore/nostalgia" boxes. i'm not trying 2 be nostalgic!!! im a teen!!! i wasnt even there for when that was popular. i'm doing my own thing. i take inspiration from "that emo art style" a lot but thats sort of irrelevant i think?? i try and make my stuff unique and it kind of hurts my feelings when people do that. (its sort of hard to explain my feelings about this in a text-based format sorry lol. its not THAT serious i guess it just makes me mad) if youve followed me 4 a while u miiiight know that i used 2 tag my shit as scenecore but that was because i didn't fully understand what the "core" part meant and i was trying to fit that aesthetic at the time (i didn't REALLY get how far removed the current state of the scenester community is from the original message it was trying to convey. now it drives me nuts)

pros:

-my username would reflect my current personality more

-i would like it better

-it would distance me from posers and tiktok #aesthetic people

-it would help prevent my art from being put in dumb obtuse boxes

cons:

-my mutuals might not recognise me (especially people who dont log on very often)

-i'm not totally sure what to change it to yet. if anyone has any ideas lmk. im thinking @/INFINITEHYPURRDEATH cuz @/INFINITEHYPERDEATH was taken (>:( rude!!! they just reserved the name its not even being used 4 anything!!!!) but im def open 2 suggestions

-ive had this name since when i first joined tumblr

[impish-knight]

I've never felt like this before.

Pain had always been a companion of mine. It calms the demons, quiets the voice of descent, ceases the turmoil. Peace becomes obtainable in the chaos of war within my mind.

Something new has awoken in me - but it's already gone.

I moaned as you cut into my skin and drew blood from me to paint with. Panted as your knife dragged over my chest and lit my brain up with the knowledge of every kill zone it crossed. All you had to do was stop and plunge in and up to end my life in a slow and agonizing way.

Toes curled as I felt a sensation I've never experienced before in my life. I'd never know what it was if it wasn't for the copious amounts of dark smut I read out of sheer fascination. All those words now make sense, becoming a reality I never expected to experience. I'm struggling to reconcile my own self as you cut into me again, a sharp sting that travels deeper, lower, into my body that creates another involuntary moan.

"I'm having horrible thoughts at the moment," you say softly as you stare at my blood. I kant my head to look at you, chuckling under my breath with curiosity.

"Oh, yeah? Do share."

"I bet I'm making you moan more than he does. And unlike him, you'll feel every inch of me," your response comes out with a crooked smile, but your eyes show a sense of bewilderment and uncertainty.

I can't help but start laughing harder than I should, because you're not wrong. Any sexual experience I've shared has been with false moans and a will for it to be over much sooner than later. I have no sexual drive, never have, and I've made peace with that a very long time ago. I no longer shy away with explaining to people that not only am I non-binary, but I'm also asexual. You'll never have me lusting after you.

As laughter clears the air, there's a strained silence as I try to work through what's going on. Making eye contact feels like a weird idea, but I have to do it. What if I was wrong and I'm not actually ace?

"I probably shouldn't say this but... I'm really starting to doubt my own sexuality right now," I state gruffly and will myself to look at you, our eyes making contact. You hold it for a beat and pieces start falling into place. There's no drive to fuck you. No desire to climb ontop of you and find a release I've never wanted before. All I see is another person, my person whom I trust and care for, but no lust or desire to change what we're doing. I don't want you to touch me. No want for your lips on mine. None of these things I've read about that comes with this feeling explained in my books.

It doesn't change the fact that everytime you cut deeper than a mere scratch, the type I can feel my skin splitting apart, it zips lower to a place that has never reacted before. Now I have to do more research, though I already know that asexual still can have bodily reactions to stimuli and not a person. Out of all the dark, depraved, fucked-up violence delved onto my body, not once have I had this reaction. What the actual fuck?

Then my mind churns with the worry this will change knife play for us. I don't want it to, but you can't ignore an elephant in the room forever. Sooner or later it starts to stink and feel crowded. We've grown so much together and we've found another speed bump. I agree with me trying with someone else, see if I have the same reaction - but there are only two others I'd trust to do this with and they're not in our location. Guess we'll be traveling for science.

Even the next day my mind is reeling. The sensation stopped as soon as our scene was over. Sooner, really, if I think harder about it. It only came about as you were actively cutting me open and ceased when you switched to sensation play with the knife. I feel no different this morning than I did the start of yesterday. Though your question of if you could make me nut from cutting me makes me chuckle still.

The woes of self-discovery.

[cybercritterinyourcomputer]

hi tumblr need help with something completely unrelated to last time because it is currently driving me nuts, is 2 am, and i cannot sleep as usual

trying to sleep is so hard all the time BUT NOW TODAY THE STUPID LEG THING IS HAPPENING. i dont know how to explain it. it happens often at night or through the day but mostly at night and especially when im trying to sleep because of course it does add more problems to my already bad ability to sleep!! it feels like someone is trying to rip my leg off but from the inside. or like my leg is in a meat grinder but like. the inside of my leg. or like my leg is separating from the bone but not like it is actually

its incredibly uncomfortable and it kind of makes my leg twitch a lot and i try to make it not do that but the harder i try the more unbearable it gets and the more it twitches(like the more i try not to move my leg the more it "hurts" [i cant tell if it hurts or if its just incredibly uncomfortable. either way i kind of want to cry] and it drives me fucking NUTS)

its like insanely uncomfortable every time it happens which is way too much and the uncomfort is so much that its close to pain and im repeating myself a lot BUT IM GOING INSANE this happens so often and i already have a very hard time sleeping every day(take hours to fall asleep, wake up in the middle of the night, has been happening mkre the past week every single day)

i always assumed everyone experienced this often but people dont always know what my weird descriptions are when i say "it feels like my leg is getting metaphorically eaten by a shark"

does anyone know why my leg is doing this. is this a thing. why does this happen. its been happening for most of my life that i can remember and i want to take my leg off. i have to keep moving my leg or else it just keeps hurting more. help

[stitchkiss]

hey, love! can u answer all of them?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL OF THEM!!!!! okay i will do it but only because you asked and i love you very much

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

well i only have 5 fics posted but probably this one because it’s my longest fic but i didn’t really expect a lot of recognition anyway because it’s a rare pair from a show that not many ppl like. it's not the best writing but worked hard on it and i’m proud of it and that’s really all i can ask for.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

i really love when ppl point out sentences/situations and other things they like.

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

i struggled really hard with my first thiam fic. the responses are all amazing but i found it so difficult to write something so vulnerable

🌻what makes you want to give up on writing? what makes you keep going?

something that makes me want to give up is the fear that i wont be able to write how i want. what keeps me going is all the lovely cheerleaders in my corner<333

🌿how does creating make you feel?

happy. i love getting my ideas out there and i like practicing writing

🍉in what ways has writing helped you process trauma and/or navigate through your own life?

tbh what i've written so far have all been fantasies. i haven't explored issues i face through writing yet but i do have ideas. i think my thiam stargazing fic was a kind of reflection of how i felt in a moment

🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing

im funny sometimes

🎈describe your style as a writer; is it fixed? does it change?

there are literally year long gaps between my fics so yes they def have changed. i feel like im more sure of myself and my writing each time i post and hopefully my writing gets better every time too!

🎉how often do you celebrate completing & posting a work? how often do you give yourself the credit/ validation that you seek from others when you post? (if you don't, you should!)

every time. i love treating myself. i try to hype myself up by reading what i wrote and it works sometimes.

���what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

all of these ofc but i think characters because they're the driving force of all my writing amd im scared i dont write them correctly or they dont come off in the way i want to. i also feel like specific word choices and phrases really make or break a fic.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

the thiam stargazing one. you guys went nuts over it fr so thanks

🤍what's one fic of yours you think people didn't "get"?

i havent written anything really profound but i will say that there is a lot in my 18k caswen fic that i wish ppl would acknowledge.

🕯️I was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

thiam stargazing ofc. when i wrote it i felt like i was bigger than myself. idk how to explain it

💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.

ohhh my anne/winnie fic! i will say that this was very bold of me to write because this pair is rare. so rare in fact that my fic was the first posted on a03 for that ship! pretty girlboss of me

🍭why did you start writing?

because i had ideas in my head and i needed to get them out.

💎why is writing important to you?

i think it's important to me because this is a way for me to take a break from my life by writing others'

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

every single time i've posted a work i eat chinese food then take a phat nap to distract myself.

🎙️which one of your fics would you like someone to make a pod-fic of?

probably the thiam cod one bc it's funny

🤲what do YOU get out of writing?

i like contributing to fandoms and ships and if i get praised along the way then that's alright with me too

💋when you leave comments on a fic, do you want to hear back from the writer?

ur comments on my comment. did i understand it? did you think what i said ab x thing was funny? idk everything. im a social butterfly i thrive off communication

☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?

encouragement literally creates art. and friendships! i literally made so many friends by commenting on their fics and interacting with them in general. fr this has been a very fun two months for me inthe teen wolf/thiam fandom. im thriving here in a way i didnt in other fandoms because i actually took a chance and talked to ppl. i have aniety but i love talking to ppl so it worked out

🦕(i can’t find the stupid blue emoji thing so ur getting a dinosaur) what steps do you take to not take things personally if a fic doesn't do well, or if your writing/ posting/sharing experience isn't going how you'd like it to?

if my fic doesnt do well then that's not my business. ppl like what they like and yeah it's a dick move to not tell a creator/artist you like their stuff whether through comments or kudos bc its so east to click one little button before swiping out of the tab but! the real ones have my back and i know it. i dont expect a lot when i post for thiam because the show ended literally five years ago and this ship is relatively small compared to others so i dont think much of it. if my fic doesnt do well its not on me because i know i did good

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

mmm okay i know i posted a wip game last week but i only did half so i'll drop the other half here (this is a treat specifically for you jaque).

cuddle monster liam: liam is a leech and he clings to theo when they sleep. theo's a little confused but accepts it anyway. i have this scene i want to write and it's one of the first times liam cuccled with him and it the basic part of it is liam just nudges his head under theos arm like a puppy and nuzzles his face into theo's chest bc he's cold.

look you: this is more of a concept than anything but basically theo and liam have thing thing where they say "look, you" or some kind of variation of that when the other is being a little shit or self depreciating.

tfw you do a 30 day relationship challenge when ur not even in a relationship: so corey and mason do a 30 day relationship challenge and they rope theo and liam into doing it too. i got the challenge off some website and i was like yes. there's gonna be 31 parts in theory but they wont be super long i think. i need all the creative juices going for this one.

getting shot with an arrow had never been this fun: theo and liam are complete idiots and they manage to get impaled with the SAME arrow and are stuck together for Reasons. it's shenanigan city up in here as they navigate how to get help. the important thing is that they have fun !

the morey split: mason and corey break up (or take a break or just arent talking i havent decided yet) and its up to theo and liam to get to the bottom of this and get them back together! they are terrible at it.

okay i think im done now

[perfectarmony]

just curious, do you think Nadia is still married to Robert? this whole marriage thing doesn't make much sense. either way, I hope it signals the end of her marriage to Arman (finally). please keep doing your reviews!

I think so, anon! 👀

Simply because: why would it even matter if they were married and had a divorce - how is that supposed to affect the characters? 👀

Again, I could be wrong, this is just how I see things

Nadia kept that information from Arman - it's a matter of interpretation, but I don't think she lied - she just omitted that (big) truth.

If they're not married anymore, Arman will be mad, hurt - and then what? I'm sure Nadia would have a good reason to not have told him, one that he would understand - and none of that would move the storyline forward 👀 or at least with we have right now I don't see it.

But if they didn't get a divorce and still are married - this would mean that Arman and Nadia's marriage was never valid on paper. And here, it shakes things up, and the storyline is affected - how is to be seen - but it does change the dynamic between Arman and Nadia, Arman and Robert, Robert and Nadia, and Arman and Thony.

I'll have to go back and watch some scenes again with the thought in mind that Nadia and Robert actually are married - it should be interesting.

What I really don't understand - and it is driving me nuts because I feel like it is the missing piece: why on earth didn't Robert tell Arman about it?

Was it just because he knew he would never have a chance to get Nadia back if he caused trouble for her directly? Does he, for some reason, need to keep Arman and Nadia close enough? What did he really do to scare her away? Why didn't he try to win her back if they were still married? There are so many questions, but we shouldn't have to wait for long to get those answers though since Arman confronts Nadia in 2x09. I feel like there has to be so much more behind this storyline, and I'm quite excited to see where it takes us. As for Arman and Nadia - their marriage is toast either way. They'll still care about each other but I think we definitely are moving away from Mr and Mrs. Morales.

Also. Am I paranoid, or is anyone else worried about Nadia's ring now that we saw the tracker that was hidden in Maya's bracelet? This could have been just a way to get the ''FBI mole hypothesis'' out of the way - and they blamed Cortés for it, not Kamdar - but still, my thoughts immediately went to the ring Robert had in his possession long enough to have put something inside of it. 👀

~~~ Concerning my little asks/opinion posts, I'm so glad you guys appreciate them - and as long as you all keep me on my toes, I'll keep sharing my thoughts as much as possible 🥺

I feel like I kinda need to explain myself a bit as to why I haven't been spontaneously posting them here anymore. I haven't really mentioned it, but I have committed to review the show for SpoilerTV - and these usually have to be posted within 48 hours. Which is why I (more or less) disappear after the episode airs, and until my review is done and scheduled - because I don't want to get influenced.

Anyway, my life is kinda messy and busy lately - and because I absolutely love writing for Stv - I get really frustrated with myself when I don't have the time needed to really dive into everything that's going on with this amazing show that deserves so much more love. So unfortunately, when I'm not happy about it and feel like I had to rush things, I'm simply choosing not to share it here because it just feels blant 👀

All of this to come to the point that while you guys appreciate these posts - I appreciate you all even more for reaching out, and forcing me to sit down to turn my feels into words ❤️

[firstkanaphans]

Getting to know your BL mutuals - 2022 edition

Thanks for tagging me @gunsatthaphan! This was a lot of fun ✨

Rules: Answer the questions and @ some people. Include the tag "g2ky BL mutuals 2022" when you post.

What BL surprised you most this year?

Choco Milk Shake: I know I’ve said this before, but I truly thought this was going to be a comedy. I hardly ever watch Korean BLs as they air because the super short episodes drive me nuts, but I made an exception because I thought this was just going to be a mindless show about cat and dog hijinks. Boy, was I wrong. I’m way too emotionally invested. I’ve cried more than once. It’s improved my relationship with my dog. This is a very existential show and I’m just praying it has a happy ending.

What BLs were you most disappointed in this year?

Love in the Air: While I enjoyed Love in the Air (have you seen my blog?), the PrapaiSky half didn’t quite live up to my expectations. Maybe it’s just because I had super high expectations going in, but Sky’s characterization in the second half bothered me. His snarky demeanor completely vanished as soon as he got together with Prapai and I’m not a fan of characters undergoing vast personality changes once they get into a relationship. Ironically, the snark was back in the special episode, so I think MAME actually noticed this and corrected it herself. (There’s a first time for everything!)

I DNF’d Cupid’s Last Wish and Enchanté, both of which I expected to like. (And also Semantic Error, which I’ve tried to watch three separate times because everyone loves it so much. Please don’t revoke my BL Fangirl card.)

What was your favorite BL of the year?

Is Not Me considered a 2022 series? Because if so, it’s definitely Not Me. It had one of the best casts GMMTV has ever assembled, a strong plot, a kickass soundtrack, and OffGun finally learned how to kiss 🙌🏼. Otherwise, I’m going to have to go with Cutie Pie. Top tier chemistry and a plot that kept me entertained all the way through. What more can you ask for?

(The Eclipse gets an honorable mention for giving me my favorite acting duo of the year: First and Khao, my beloveds.)

Who are your favorite BL couples (not just in 2022)?

I limited myself to 2022 couples because otherwise I’d be here until 2023 trying to figure it out

PatPran (Bad Buddy)

AkkAyan (The Eclipse)

PluemKevin (Ghost Host Ghost House)

LianKuea (Cutie Pie)

PayuRain (Love in the Air)

If you had to suggest a BL for someone, what would it be?

Bad Buddy is always my go-to recommendation for non-BL watchers because I don’t have to explain myself afterwards. No problematic tropes and an overall solid show.

For people who are familiar with BL, I’ll try to list some I don’t hear talked about as often: 

HIStory2: Right or Wrong - For the BL watcher who likes domesticity (and doesn’t mind teacher/student relationships)

Ghost Host Ghost House - For the BL watcher who likes realistic depictions of relationships and the softest boys you ever did meet (Also, ghosts. There are definitely ghosts)

Utsukushii Kare (My Beautiful Man): For the BL watcher who’s playing Taylor Swift’s “Mastermind” on repeat

What was your favorite non-BL this year?

My favorite lakorn was P.S. I Hate You (So. Many. Beautiful. Women). My favorite piece of Western media was Heartstopper.

I'll tag @aprilblossomgirl, @gillianthecat, @buckystilinski, @seekingidlewild, @first-kanaphan, and @thebirkenstocksocialist. But only if y’all want to! Forgive me if you've already been tagged. Everyone else, feel free to participate as well. I love reading people's answers 💛

[fabien-euskadi]

for the deep asks: juniper, tupelo & palm <3

juniper ➳ what personality trait does someone need to have for you to feel safe with them?

In a previous answer, I mentioned honesty/sincerity. Now, let's talk about communication skills.

Good communication is essential in everything. If I create a vaccine against all types of cancer, I need to communicate what I have to the word - otherwise, despite my wonderful invention, people will still die with cancer (and I lost many people to that disease). I guess many friendships and relationships my have ended due to bad communication, and that hurts me deeply.

I am not going to say my communication skills are perfect. Far from it - and being a lonely wolf makes things even more difficult, I admit. But I am working on it. And I need people to tell me when they don't understand me, so I can explain myself clearer. But I would like if other people in my life had this attitude as well.

I am not there yet, but I am trying to. I am making an effort. To communicate better, a lot better.

tupelo ➳ do you have a favorite season? what makes this season better than others for you?

All over the years, depression made me hate the seasons when it becomes more aggressive: Spring, Summer, Autumn/Fall and Winter. In every other season, I am fine, my problem is just with these four.

Currently, I am getting A LOT better from depression. I went from I-am-a-drive-to-a-mountain-road-away-from-suicide to a situation where I can be myself again. But I am still walking on thin ice and, recently, the lack of natural light is putting me down a bit. But I have not been defeated. This depression is facing the worst possibly enemies - my will and inner strength -and it knows it is a matter of time before it is dead. Because one of us - me and depression - has to fall, and it won't be me.

What will happen when I managed to enjoy all seasons again. The colours of Autumn, the coyness of Winter, the flowers an warm weather of Spring, the laid-back spirit of Summer.

palm ➳ what is a milestone, goal or event you’re currently working towards?

We can start by my PhD. It's driving me nuts, but it is on my to-do list. Even if it will turn January into a month of seclusion - even of it forces me to decline new translations.

Then, I want to finish a book (it's hard to define if it is a romance, a compilation of chronicles or even a philosophical work) I am working on and publish it. I also want to publish some poems - in Portuguese and English. And my advisor mentioned recently that my Masters' Thesis should to be published as well - remains to be seen if I want that to happen, but that's something I am not going to write off now.

And these are the things I am working on currently. Basically, I have a lot on my plate, I hope I can eat everything.

Thank you for the asks, nice to see you here :)

[littledogpoo]

Now... where do I begin? It's an entry that I've dragged so long to even start writing because: A. procrastination, B. I've just been trying hard to cheer myself up and survive in this uncomfortable environment and C. sort out my feelings & thoughts. Even as I write now, I might be still struggling to piece them together... so, all the best to me later haha! (Going for dinner in a bit, will come back to finish this up!)

So it took a little longer than expected, I'm actually just back from a family trip to Malaysia. My soul felt recharged after the trip and I literally forgot about this problem for a while, until now when I'm forced to face it again. I'm feeling like there's a chore in my mind that's undone and everything else was held back because this chore is weighing so heavily on me that I don't have the motivation for anything else. Just been constantly seeking for stimulation to distract me.

(I'm just gonna skip everything, about what has happened, to how I'm feeling after that.)

I don't feel the cocktail of feelings as strongly now. It's still mixed feelings but more diluted, but I can still feel them there.

I'm feeling sad – because I felt unwanted now I guess. I told her to stop asking me if I'm coming home for dinner, if I'm coming back home, etc and that's exactly what she did. Of course it was said out of spite, but how do I tell her that I wish she did the opposite? I wish she's acting like a caring mother? My ego is telling me I don't need her but at the same time I wanna tell her how is she hurting me.

I'm feeling angry – this one is easy to explain because I'm basically unappreciated and scoffed for helping her. I've done so much and under so much stress and what do I get? I don't expect much – basic gratitude sure just bcos that's manners – I just need her to stay out of trouble and cooperate so she can keep this up long term. But she's making this difficult for me and worst of all, giving me shit for my sincere effort to help her.

I then feel disappointed – like after all the talks and explanation, do you really understand you need help? Do you really think what you're doing is affecting all of us? Are you really sorry for doing all that shit? Or are you just a psychopathic, selfish person who is not capable of feeling sorry for anyone except for yourself? Do you hate us for being happier than you? Do you feel better that we are suffering with you?

I feel helpless – I don't know how to communicate with her so that she can get it, that whatever I'm doing, as uncomfortable to her as it is, is an effort to help her. I don't know how else to do it except to ask my bro, who recently has a new daughter to take over my responsibility to manage her lifestyle. I don't know if our relationship can still be repaired, or if she's okay with the status quo and so nothing else has to be done? I wanna ask her if she finds our relationship good or if she thinks anything's wrong? How do I get her to understand that her actions are driving me crazy?? I'm pretty sure she's going to say that she's upset because my temper is bad and I can't talk to her nicely. How do I get her to understand that I've tried so hard to talk to her nicely but her avoidant attitude is driving people nuts? Who the fk can stand someone who ignores you when you are telling them how upset you are?

I'm afraid I'll be re-triggered again if I were to start this talk. After such a long time, I would've expected that she's put in some thought and reflected but what if her mind is stuck in that day? Could she still be thinking that I was overreacting and it was stupid for me to control her finance? (SIDE THOUGHT: perhaps the more patient one can do the ground work and the stricter one can step in when shit might be hitting the fan soon?)

I have to be prepared for disappointment. I have to be prepared to let go if she wants me to keep this distance. No matter what, please keep my cool and know that no matter what, you can see J at the end of the day if you want to. Bali trip is coming okay just stay positive!!

[the-firebird69]

They have a situation here in punta Gorda there's too many assholes at him everyday following him with the vehicles it's ridiculous it's like a fishbowl and he is in trouble and has been telling us and it's not obvious why she's on locker and he's thinking with daft. He's one guy and they're like 400 of them in cars chasing him around doing insane what they want so it sounds like it looks like. So I got in there to see what it was like for real and it's like this the drive around and say they're ignoring you when they're not. So he's worried so keep telling him a whole bunch of them where he is and ways to leave and I mean and an assholes they're saying hateful things for quite a while okay we need to stop them once again and no doubt at all since you have a handle on it we haven't stopped one of them it's kind of store and it needs to be kicked out this causing all this trouble for our sons and just have a place here it's not even his apartment and he is sitting on it and forced the person to sign the agreement out and I don't want this individual out and have been screaming it just like him and people are ignoring me. I'm going to tell you one more time to get that person the hell out of there if you're not going to get them out I'm going to break him out myself it's so damned annoying having your orders ignored.

Thor Freya

We're actually trying to break him out and have been a solid year and a half and he keeps coming back and he's using power. And we are whittling away at him is using up his people they're all dying for him to stay there and they say they believe in the cause but they just don't know that he's a stupid person using them for no reason he explains it to him pretty good so that's the problem very hard try and that makes this situation worse because there's a bunch of dummies doing it and we found that out it's very angry for him the whole time and these would not let us tell him but now their population is small. And we're capable of telling him that yes it's these warlock doing this crap

We intend on taking them out no we're taking them out we're doing a lot of work and everybody's at it doing the work they have tons and tons of people who are doing it and we're applying himself. And some at maximum effort and we're putting the idiots out of their misery. Time and time again I saw my son had so many disappointments these people would just come along and kill him so flock I've never seen someone so resilient in my life. He's like a creature you just turns around and starts fighting again and sorry to say one day you can't do that to me you're too stupid you get a mess everything up it's been saying it lately these kids have been messed everything off they have to go then he heard last night some real candid stuff out of our son and thinks he can recover we might be able to if you gains a certain amount of control and we've heard this before because it is true and Tom Cruise was elated. And made a mental note that the ship can be turned around by an experience diligent team. And he took a moment had a wept about it cuz he has to fight on their side against Max who seem to have their s*** together and he noticed his son saying they're the only ones these guys look just like us and a lot of behavior on purpose and he started smiling again cuz I don't want to have you they do this thing too you know about just no way you cant. He said to Tom Cruise you said they do this thing to people it's like suicidal thoughts and stuff and he said yeah they hurt a lot of people with that and our son said back they recently killed themselves all of them and I don't know why. So biden went to work to try and figure out what the problem was and he figured out that this guy Trump was not telling you what to do no. And when you said was what he said was these people went a little insane during covid-19 they had a problem understanding reality and may have gotten the sickness and when nuts and left the building and have to go somewhere. And people are making people sick with things and I didn't know what to do and that's what happened. And now they're turning me sites back on Trump for covid-19 and trying to see why he did it. It's on right now people are going after these Trump people everywhere they have to know what the hell is up to all the time it's too much of a baby in the ass his friends with JC so they're exploring what he's doing and they can get down what he's up to now and it is as if it's an emergency they're getting walloped. And that's part of the job. He's falling down but boy what a pain, and the judge from his trial has made a decision and is going to announce it publicly shortly that he is remanded to a criminal court and he doesn't believe it has to go up there and sees it and jumps off the bridge. All the app then give me your harassing our son has distracted him from doing anything helpful his own life about pertinent issues. Now he's saying it's our son's fault our son says probably since I'm trying to nail you and my people are as with anyone under your duress trump. And will get you for what you're saying literally you're forcing us to do the job because your an inane a******. So he's going to go to prison and his career as president is over and he'll start lashing out and we're going to destroy the rest of his forces and that's one motive and motif because he attacks his own and his own kind not necessarily exact race sometimes he kills off his kids this is such a perfect little a******. Right now it's insulting to me so I'm going to send troops in and pull this out here and we really need to just wait too many of his idiots here and by the way it should get them is there an apartment it should take over their apartments by making disappear and houses and get that more aggressive here.

Nuada Arrianna

I'm going to turn it around on you Trump and we're going to crush you that's what we already aren't globally you're on your knees and your weapons don't compare and your armies are Teeny but we're going to make you suffer here. Will take everything from you I'm going to parade you around it's a poor boys that you are. I need this and I have to have it and I said and daughter need it for survival you need to go I'm going to make you go you're going to be dead soon fully

Thor Freya

We have a lot of things to say and nothing to say to you Trump just see you got our attention now you're getting dead

Nuada Arrianna

I can't stand this anymore we should have killed him a long time ago

No I should have killed you Trump you're a fool

Garth

Let him be no we need the money it took tons of money and it's been handling it it sometimes of my money and it's Robbing money out that's his and mine, is Coded I want it back I don't get it back you're all dead you hear the neighborhood

Mac daddy

We don't have time for this I'll tell you I want you to make the time. I'm tired of threatening me and he has no record at all it says I didn't get caught and shut your f****** mouth and kick your head off it's not like I haven't gotten into fights like that it's just you don't know about it cuz you're a s*** head. Well it says that impression believe him but it would care for he doesn't care if I care for it he says I blow up a building myself cuz you're a bunch of pussies get the f*** out of here you dumb a****** if you attack me you're going down and your whole f****** race and clan will be dead. Now I see it everyone hates us

Trump

Haha we would say it every day for years and screaming at you get the f*** out of here we hate you to death and you just get it Joel will tell you to leave cuz we're going to kill you if you don't

Mac

I guess he's Ricky Schroeder doesn't get it he has to be instructed on what to do

Zues Hera

I know something everyone's mad at me and these people are steaming at me getting rid of us and I haven't moved there's a really big reason for it. So what we use the house for okay I used it for housing it seems stupid it probably is it was a trinity test and I got radiated and it didn't help me. So I'm trying to use it against them and it didn't work give me a lot of devices and it's because of it and that's why I'm here

Trump

Nobody is asking you stupid

Zues Hera

Oh you just want me to leave I suppose I'm sheltering people from getting radiation sickness. I had to tell you something that might be stupid

Trump

Anything else you freaking blaring idiot I mean what the f***. What you doing stupid you and your own and you can't figure it out. What happened there so you heated up and do that and so he'd knock you out and it's worked and it's time for you to leave and you won't because you're stupid and very stupid now right now people are trying to large attack and I thought you'd be ready at 5:00 or 6:00 a.m. and that's why you're up cuz you're a gay boy and you're stupid you're not sitting there spewing like a little 2-year-old child because you have this going on he'll be over soon you'll lose you always do you bring the same you seems not to care we need to know why when he says is he's still cold absolutely stupid he does not have any AI he would justify him doing this or anything anything so fake it's a pile of faux stuff it's with the exception of terrorists which are being eliminated due to their actions and spying and so forth. And now my great nephew says that paragraph. Never observed this guy for quite a while and he's right he's an idiot I need to get rid of him he let him get away with all this stuff, he's used to it and it sucks at doing things look at my notes from a couple hundred years ago and I said I wouldn't have these babies put a light bulb in because they break it even if it was for their use exclusively it's proven to be true so want them out I want them out now

Mac

I'm coming in there and we're going to plow them out and pull them out by hand and that's what he's helping us to and they suck very bad these people are horrendous assholes and we need them out now

Nuada Ariana

I see the orders and they're coming across my desk and they are to fire these people immediately and we're sending the troops tons of them are coming in here it's because of their attack and they want to attack here and I want the kidnap our son and we have to stop them. I'm sending them to the populace as well as of right now

Thor Freya

This message is approved to be posted Olympus

I'm going to get them out of there right now I'm sending troops and I'm doubling up and tripling up

Hera

Run the move we've got to get in there and pull them out and they're too dangerous too had too many of them too right near him is too many

We're following orders and doing it

Abomination and She Abomination

[beholdthemem]

Been on a nostalgia kick lately, re-reading a lot of childhood favorites, and one thing in Dealing With Dragons that hits differently when you read it as an adult is that Cimorene is young.

Like- as a kid, you hear 'sixteen' and figure that's ancient. Practically grown up. In your mind she's basically the same as Kazul and Morwen, and the narrative doesn't seem to challenge that. But then you go back and read this...

"It's just as well that your visitors HAVE been honorable," Morwen said, looking thoughtful. "Linderwall's a prosperous kingdom. Sooner or later, the chance of getting hold of half of it is going to tempt someone to try rescuing you whether you want to be rescued or not."

"...that hadn't occured to me," Cimorene said with a worried frown.

...and you are abruptly reminded that Cimorene is in some ways still a kid.

Like, Cimorene's an intelligent young woman, she's very resourceful, independent and capable, but that does not change the fact that she has a total of only sixteen years' worth of life experience. A very sheltered sixteen years at that- being a princess means she's been constantly supervised, and maybe kept from learning some things that another girl her age might have already worked out. The knights and princes trying to rescue her from Kazul are certainly very annoying, but it's never occurred to her that they could actually be DANGEROUS- because she's never been in a position where they would be. Credit where credit's due, as soon as Morwen gently points this out Cimorene immediately starts doing some mental calculations to figure out other ramifications of her change in status from Princess Of A Kingdom to Dragon Princess without needing to be hand-held, but it definitely would not have occurred to her otherwise.

I think another reason Cimorene's youth never registered with me before, though- and this is a positive one!- is that while Kazul and Morwen are definitely aware of it, they don't treat her like a child. Like- they give her advice. At times they'll politely challenge some assumptions she's grown up with but never explored. They explain things to her that they might not have to with someone else. But never once in that entire book do they EVER talk down to her. There is nothing she's Too Young To Understand, no topic that's off limits, her intelligence is respected and her contributions to discussions about spells/cookery/what to do about the wizard infestation are treated as valuable. And while it's never really acknowledged, we know from Cimorene's life pre-Kazul that this is not an experience she's had before.

Honestly? I find myself wondering if part of Cimorene's constant attempts to learn 'un-princessy' skills as a kid were due, in part, to being treated a certain way while learning the traditional ones. She complained about her embroidery/dancing/diplomacy lessons, but later we realize that she... maybe didn't hate the subjects of those lessons. She's good at them. She considers them (in some ways) useful. But one thing we observe is that no matter how old the princesses in the story get, they are in some ways treated like permanent children, and that drives Cimorene NUTS. I think if those lessons weren't so firmly tied to that infantilization, she might not have resented them so much, but because they were, she was forever seeking out skills practiced by people who (even if they were of lower status) were given a kind of respect she was never likely to get.

When she becomes Kazul's princess and meets Morwen, though, Cimorene finds for the first time that she can get respect WITHOUT having to shed her princess-hood. Similarly, her youth is never treated as a point against her- it's not... an inherent personality trait. If she doesn't understand something, they never react as though that's part for the course, and that there's no way she COULD be expected to understand, they just teach her. They acknowledge her youth, and do try to keep her safe, but in the same way they would for each other. They treat her like an equal.

I like that a lot.

Tl,dr: a mentor who can let you learn while still treating you with unquestioned respect is a wonderful thing, and Dealing With Dragons illustrates that in a really subtle but effective way.