#THIS SON OF A BITCH LAID A FUCKING EGG

[blessyourhondahurley]

Suptober day 2 - Great Eggs-pectations

A fluffy little epilogue to last year's Fowl Play series, in which Dean and Cas take a big scary exciting step together as husbands and farmers.

Suptober prompt: Pumpkin Patch

(Read on AO3)

“Son of a bitch,” Dean hisses, careful to keep his voice too soft to reach the ears of his son, who's happily engrossed in killing some video game demons in the next room. He sighs and tosses his pen across the kitchen table. The terrifyingly official form laid out in front of him is pristine, untouched.

“Do you really think we can pull this off, babe?” he asks his husband for the fifth time in an hour. “We've been gettin' by alright just doing the farmer's market every week, and the pumpkin patch and the hay rides and stuff here every fall. What if we go all in on opening up this store and it flops?”

Even though he would be well within his rights at this point to roll his eyes or snap at Dean to just fill out the damn form already, Cas simply takes his hand and gives him a soft smile. “I never said it would be easy, darling,” he murmurs. “There are no guarantees for us in this life, of course. But we've gotten nothing but encouraging feedback about our plan from our customers at the market, the loan manager at the bank, our family, friends, loved ones... People are excited for us to open. I'm ready to make the leap. Will you leap with me?”

Dean looks into fathomless blue eyes and feels his world wobble on its axis. It's a familiar sensation, the dizzy wash of love and abject gratitude that he feels whenever he realizes once again that this is his life now: his gorgeous husband, their wonderful son, this thriving farm. It's been over a year since he's touched a gun, and even then he was using it to ping empty soup cans out back with Jack. The last time he bought a bag of rock salt, it was for their old-fashioned hand-cranked ice cream maker.

He's a retired hunter. He's a loving husband. He's a father. He's a farmer. He's alive, and he's here, and he's happy, so fucking happy. It feels dangerous to try for more, greedy. And no matter how hard he works to bury them, those old feelings of being a fraud refuse to lay down and stay dead. Does Dean Winchester deserve to thrive like this? Surely not.

He gulps, feeling the hot sting of tears behind his eyes. Cas stands, then tugs on their still-joined hands to pull him to his feet as well. Then he's being held, snug and warm in his beloved's strong arms. He rests his head on Cas's shoulder and breathes out as his tears begin to flow.

“Don't worry,” comes a whisper in his ear. “I've got you.”

“I know, baby,” he replies hoarsely. “I've got you,too.”

He pulls away just far enough to plant a soggy kiss on his husband's cheek.

“Thank you for putting up with me,” he says. “It's gotta be rotten work.”

“Not to me,” comes the reply with a quirk of those full lips. “Not if it's you.”

Dean huffs a laugh and swipes at his eyes with his free hand. “Okay,” he says firmly. “We're doing it. This is happening. We're gonna open our own little store. We're gonna sell honey and eggs and flowers and preserves, and your knitting and Jack's pipe cleaner spiders with the googly eyes and my hand pies, and it's gonna fucking rock. We're gonna pay back our small business loan and the mortgage on the storefront, and we're gonna put money aside for Jack for if he decides to go to college in a few years. And in the fall we'll have pumpkins and apple cider donuts and horseshoes and hay rides and the corn maze and make-your-own scarecrows. We're doing this.” As he speaks, he feels his own words buoying him up, filling him with a surge of confident energy. He sees this energy reflected back to him in his husband's gaze.

“Yes, love, we are,” comes the certain reply. The expression on Cas's beautiful face is resolute. He looks every inch the avenging angel he once was. Dean can never resist teasing him a little bit when he gets his serious face on like that.

“It's gonna be take a lotta elbow grease, though. You know?” Dean says with a grin. “We're gonna have to... work around the cluck.”

Cas does roll his eyes then, and shove him away. Dean goes with the push and pivots back into his seat at the table. Reaching for his pen, he fills out the top line in neat caps: FOWL PLAY FARMS MARKET.

[artdecosupernova-writing]

OC Kiss Week Day 7: Dare

WIP: Partners Pairing: Ben x Reagan Timeline: about 1957 I think, so between PI and PII, closer to PII. it's the direct aftermath of a Within Ten Years piece I've yet to write CW: none Rating: T Words: 1,458

***

Ben was surprised to hear Reagan up and puttering around in the kitchen as soon as he did. He glanced at the clock on the console table in the hallway as he passed and confirmed that it was, indeed, bordering on eight in the morning.

He stepped into the archway of the kitchen in the middle of an intense stretch, his arms above his head and hands knocking painfully into the top of the frame.

"Fuck," he grunted, wringing his fingers.

Reagan poked his head out from behind the refrigerator door and lifted his eyebrows at him. "You're up early."

Ben took a precursory glance at the stove and the counters, upon which laid a delightful spread of the early stages of breakfast. Two pans on the burners, ingredients for blintzes, packages of lox and cream cheese, as well as the carton of a dozen eggs Reagan had been digging in the fridge for a moment ago.

"I'm up early? Faye and Abby aren't even up yet, boy." Ben stood in the center of the kitchen, frowning at the pat of butter melting in one of the pans. "Have you opened my house for business or what?"

Reagan closed the fridge and tossed a brand new butcher's parcel on the counter along the rest of the breakfast items. "Sorry. Been craving a bacon sandwich real bad."

"Is this all for you?"

Reagan's brow pinched as he tossed the butter in the pan. "When have I ever done anything just for me?"

"Oh, I dunno, maybe all those times you went to bed with women who weren't your wife?"

Ben expected Reagan to take that less than well considering the circumstances of him staying the night at the Murray house. In all honesty, Ben felt a strong pang of regret the instant the comment left his mouth, but before he could self-flagellate, Reagan broke into a wide grin and picked out two eggs.

"You're right," he said sincerely. "Won't have to worry about that for much longer, will I?"

Sighing, Ben lowered himself into a chair at the table and rubbed his hands over his face. "You didn't really explain what happened."

"I didn't even get into the house." Reagan left the eggs to fry in the pan and crossed the kitchen to pour them both mugs of coffee. "I checked the mail and the thing was there. Then I came straight here."

"And you're sure they're divorce papers?"

Reagan scoffed. "I read them. Petition, summons, the whole shebang."

"Son of a bitch," Ben muttered. He slumped in his chair. "What's she asking for?"

Reagan set a mug in front of Ben. "Surprisingly, not a whole lot. Just enough money to buy a house with Frederick, I'm assuming, and—"

"Wait a fucking minute," Ben interrupted sharply, lifting his head from the hand propped up on the table. "Frederick? Is she..." He clutched his mug almost too tightly. "Is that what this is about?"

There was a moment when Ben thought he'd actually gone too far. Reagan leveled him with an out-of-character dark stare that reached into his chest with a needle and pierced his heart as if it were a water balloon. Then Reagan turned to put the percolator back on the counter as if nothing happened.

"She'd been reconnecting with him since we moved to L.A.," he said, portioning the bacon onto the pan with the eggs. "Small world, isn't it? Finding a childhood friend from Iowa living not too far from us all the way over here in California."

"What about Charlotte and Brady?"

Reagan bustled about, clearly distracting himself with the creation of the blintzes. "She's petitioning for full custody."

Ben gritted his teeth, digging his fingernails into the flesh of his cheek. "Meaning you'll only be able to see your kids on holidays and the odd weekend."

"She'll have the more stable household. She's got Frederick now, she'll have money for a new house...she's being very smart about this. No judge worth his salt will let me have shared custody."

Gulping down an angry mouthful of coffee, Ben shook his head. "You're a fucking celebrity, Reagan."

"A celebrity who's known around the world, quite publicly and to his own wife throughout the thirteen years they'd been married, as a man who could not for the life of him keep his dick in his fucking pants, Ben."

"You think she'll use that against you?"

"Why wouldn't she?" Reagan shot a cynical grin at Ben over his shoulder. "Why the hell wouldn't she? Wouldn't you? Wouldn't anyone in their right mind use that against me or anyone else?"

Ben felt a weight crushing his chest, around the same spot where Reagan had popped his heart. "You..." He suppressed a growl of frustration, instead squeezing his eyes shut and taking a calming breath. "Yeah. Under normal circumstances, yeah, you're well in the wrong. But the first time it happened, you told her right away, and she made it clear that—Reagan, she made the fucking deal that you wouldn't sleep around when you were at home, and as far as she knows, as far as I know, you've kept to your end of the goddamn deal!"

"I was out of my mind, Ben," Reagan said firmly. His shoulders tensed as he mixed ingredients together in a large bowl. "I was off the fucking hinges to think that was acceptable."

"So you would've just...did it in secret, then."

Reagan was silent for as long as it took to toss another pat of butter onto the second pan. "There's just no hope that I could've behaved myself, is there?"

Though the question lanced Ben's heart yet again, he could not lie. "I love you more than practically anything else on this Earth," he said softly into his coffee. "Almost but not quite more than I love my own child. She's only two, though, so give it time."

Reagan snorted.

"Despite how much I love you, I can't sit here and tell you that this was never gonna happen. People just...don't understand what you're going through, and they're always gonna assume you're just a selfish prick who wanted to have his cake and eat it too. Carolyn probably didn't get it. Or, she got it until she realized there are other options than sitting at home while her famous husband fucked fans around the world. Either way..." He cringed. "Actions have consequences."

"Yeah." Reagan plated his eggs and seemed to realize only then that he planned everything out quite poorly, breakfast-wise. "...I gotta let the blintz mix sit."

"Get your bacon cooking and I'll deal with the rest," Ben said, standing to join Reagan at the stove.

"It's not...too bad," Reagan said half to himself as he flipped the bacon. "I'll be able to see my kids when I can, and I've got you...and by extension, Faye and Abby. I'll still have Adrian, my career, my house...my car..."

Ben shrugged, beginning to spread cream cheese on a bagel. "You'll always have me. You'll always have me. You'll have me and my family, my mother and the Jersey family, you've got your family in Ireland...you're not alone. I have complex feelings about your situation with Carolyn, but that's not news to you, and you know I'm in your corner regardless."

Reagan hooked an arm around Ben's waist. "Look at me."

Ben did so, unsurprised to receive a firm kiss in response. They smiled at each other, and Ben caught sight over Reagan's shoulder of Faye entering the kitchen at that exact second.

"Here we go," she said resignedly at the display, grabbing a cup from the cupboard.

Reagan laughed. "Heard you coming."

"I'm sure you did." Faye gestured to the foodstuffs. "Need help?"

"Not at all," Reagan cut in before Ben could say anything. "We've got it from here. Take care of the baby and we'll be fine."

Faye made an impressed face at Ben and took her coffee out of the kitchen.

Ben, on the other hand, watched Reagan's face closely. He didn't miss the flex of his jaw muscle or the uncomfortable shift of his eyes over his bacon, and Ben's stomach sank quickly and heavily into his feet.

He reached over to snatch Reagan's chin in his hand and forced him to look him in the eye.

"Stop," he demanded. "Stop overthinking."

He knew he hit the nail on the head when Reagan pinched his bottom lip between his teeth, his eyes dropping to Ben's for a gut-fluttering moment. "Funny comin' from the Olympic gold medalist in overthinking."

Ben slapped him, earning another loud bark of laughter. They continued to cook breakfast, eating with Faye and Abby and forgetting, for just a little while, what lay ahead for Reagan.

[shes-a-badkid]

Thoughts while reading The Trials of Apollo - “The Dark Prophecy” with my nephew-

1. I still cannot get over the name Lester for Apollo

2. Even after being humbled a bit, he is still the cockiest bastardized out there

3. I love the idea of Leo just having a good time with his girlfriend and his dragon and helping a God out and then there is Calypso and Apollo just snarking at each other the whole time

4. I love Calypso so much- just straight punches someone, breaks her hand, and almost immediately says fuck it and kicks someone and breaks her foot. I just really identify with this

5. Poor Leo- had to leave Festus again. WHEN WILL MY SON GET A BREAK, RICK?!

6. Oh poor Emmie and Josephine! If this book doesn’t end with them getting their daughter back I will be seeking financial compensation

7. I’m obsessed with Emmie and Josephine, every new thing I learn about them just adds to my love

8. Apollo and Calypso on a quest with no Leo to buffer… I’m so here for this- the sass with be *chefs kiss* impeccable

9. I really like that Apollo’s memory is iffy right now because I truly don’t know who most of these people are and him remembering doesn’t feel like a generic info dump

10. Hell yeah, Meg!!! Run away from those assholes! (But please don’t make me sad again)

11. Apollo- how are you so thirsty? Like we haven’t focused on the gods in as much detail as you, but you seem like a thirty bitch. Now I know you can’t possibly be as thirsty as Zeus, but you might come close

12. So far on this quest we have Calypso doing like 85% of the work- picking locks, grifting the two searching for them into believing she was cursing them- what a queen. And you know, Apollo is also there, like good job with that train buddy, you helped!

13. Hell yeah, Meg! Take his ass out! (I think ‘hell yeah, Meg’ might become my catchphrase thought this series)

14. Okay Apollo- nice work letting all the animals loose, that was clutch

15. Sure, Apollo, you totally didn’t cry when Meg hugged you. We all totally believe you 😑

16. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it a million more time- I am obsessed with Josephine

17. “I was, after all, selfless, caring, and all around nice guy.” And just when I was feeling a bad for you my dude

18. Oh poor, Georgina, your mind is just mashed bananas right now

19. Look at you Apollo being all smart and melting that door- I would say I’m proud but the ego doesn’t need the compliment

20. PEACHES!!! NOOOOO! My sweet, little maniac

21. Festus! My favorite boy 🐉

22. Thalia about to kick some ass like the boss bitch she is

23. I love that Lityerses immediately went from down to kill for Commodus to I’m gonna kill Commodus for thinking of killing me and joining the side of good

24. Apollo may have fully won me over for staying back just to save Livia the elephant- also what a sight to see Thalia being a badass while escaping on a elephant

25. Leo and Calypso staying at the waystation makes so much sense and I’ll miss them so much, but also I would totally ready a book about Leo and Calypso at the waystation with Josephine and Emmie

26. Apollo hating his arrow is the best. I love a god having beef with an inanimate object

27. Oh Meg, my dear, I just want to hug you!

28. Apollo may be a self centered douche like 90% of the time but my man has a lot of feelings. Like- he cares for Meg so much, he just wanted to save Livia the elephant, he is passionate in his hatred of slavery, and he is so worried for his friends at the waystation

29. What is this red lightning, Jamie?!? I am intrigued

30. Sssssarah is delightful and I would love for her to just randomly pop up

31. Can we leave Festus alone, please

32. RICK! WHAT THE FUCK! YOU ARE GONNA KILL OFF A LOVELY GRIFFIN WHO JUST GAVE BIRTH (laid an egg… whatever) AND EXPECT ME TO BE OKAY?!? RIP Heloise

33. The delight I feel at just the mention of Coach Hedge is entirely normal! Stop judging me!

34. GROVER! MY SWEET SATYR!

[iris-sistibly]

The Targ Talk (a review series): House of the Dragon episode 8

[🔥]

REASONS WHY I LOVE DAEMON TARGARYEN: 

He personally got the dragon eggs for his and Rhaenyra's babies- he could have easily ordered someone else to do that for him but he didn't, he made sure to pick all of those and was really happy upon learning that Syrax laid three eggs (just enough for his three young kids and the unborn baby Visenya).

The way he cares for his pregnant wife- I remembered him kissing Laena's belly and now the way he touched Rhaenyra's baby bump just shows how much he loves his children.

He supports his wife- I STAN A SUPPORTIVE HUBBY

He protects his wife and stepsons- Damn bitch when he slashed Vaemond's head with Dark Sister, that was so freaking satisfying. Vaemond learned the hard way to never mess with his family. I also love that scene when the boys fought in the middle of the supper and Daemon stood in between to protect Jace and Luke. Him giving Aemond a warning look was so good! 

Fun fact: When Vaemond insisted that he should be named as Corlys' successor and accused Laenor's sons to be bastards and Rhaenyra a whore, the princess ordered her new hubby Daemon to have his head removed and his carcass was fed to Syrax. Also, Corlys Velaryon lived until the reign of Aegon III, not sure if they're gonna keep him for that long in the show though (Source: Fire & Blood by George RR Martin) 

He never betrayed his brother- sure, he was hurt with how Viserys treated him in the earlier episodes, but as I've said before, their bond as brothers will always be there and their love for each other never faded. I saw how hard he controlled his emotions when he saw the very weak Viserys for the first time in years, how he helped him up when he was having a hard time climbing to his throne, and Daemon picking up Viserys' crown and placing it back to his head spoke volumes. I've read on twitter that the crown falling off was accidental and Matt Smith just picked that up and they continued filming. But even if it wasn't really a part of that scene, to me it turned out to be the most powerful scene in this episode because it translated as showing what Viserys really meant to Daemon: he is his older brother, he is his king, and he will always be faithful to him. 

Daemon is such a misunderstood character in both the show and the novel: he's unpredictable, he would do crazy things, yet he's not afraid to show what he wants and what he does not want, he's not a hypocrite, and he will kill for the people he loves. That being said, Daemon is a perfect representation of the people who often gets a lot of hate for…basically doing whatever the fuck they want even if it doesn't fit into the norms, or it does not uphold the moral bullshits of the society or whatever but is actually more humane than many if not most goody-two shoes people.

Just like Milly, I think Emma did an amazing job at showing Rhaenyra's vulnerable side. The princess has always been a daddy's girl, and it broke my heart when she pleaded for her father's help to secure Luke's claim to Driftmark and how she was so overwhelmed by the burdens that came with her title as heir to the iron throne. 

Another sweet moment between Viserys and Rhaenyra was when the latter introduced Aegon and Viserys to their grandsire, the babies are so cute! 

Rhaenyra may be the female version of Daemon in so many ways, but like her father, she loves all of her children very much and would do anything to protect them. She'd swallow her pride in exchange for her children's safety. She chose to leave King's Landing to keep them away from all those nasty rumors, and now she asked for Rhaenys' help to back Luke's claim (which I'm very glad she did), betrothing Jace and Luke to Baela and Rhaena would further strengthen their alliance. A wise move I must say, but I fucking hate the things that are gonna happen between the blacks and the Velaryons. 

Jacaerys and Lucerys are such gentlemen! I love that Jace works so hard to prepare himself as the next king, and how he protected Baela from his stupid uncle, as the eldest, he always looks after his younger siblings (especially Luke). I can tell Baela is a badass just like her mom, I am so looking forward for her to kick Aegon's r*pist ass! Rhaena is very sweet and so supportive of Luke, I cannot be attached to these babies because of their fates in the dance but it's so hard to not stan them!

Helaena Targaryen is such a sweet soul, she's being treated horribly by Aegon yet it seemed to me that she has already accepted that she would be living this shitty life forever. When Jace asked her for a dance, Helaena had so much fun. Aegon is disgusted by her for being different but Jace showed her kindness, had Alicent looked past her issues with Rhaenyra and agreed to Jace and Helaena's betrothal, it would have solved both their problems tbh. 

Viserys defending Rhaenyra until his last breath 🥺 even on his weakest moments, even if he was in pain, he really stood up for his daughter and grandkids. He tried his very best to keep his family together, the dinner scene when he attempted to unite his two families for the last time broke my heart. He just wants his family to be happy and live in peace. But then, the poor decisions he made in the past has finally bit him. If he was so eager to secure Rhaenyra's claim to the throne then:

He shouldn't have remarried even if he was being pressured to do so. Remarrying could mean higher chances of having a male heir (and poof! Aegon the dumbshit). 

He should have chosen Daemon as his hand. His brother would protect Rhaenyra at all costs.  

He should have agreed to marry Daemon and Rhaenyra in the first place. While marrying the princess of to Laenor Velaryon was a wise decision to strengthen their alliance with the Velaryons, I do not think Laenor would do well in court politics (in previous episodes, he was often seen gallivanting with his lover instead of being with Rhaenyra and his life is at the sea). He may be a warrior, and an ideal match but he was no politician. His brother was a skilled warrior, a dragonrider, and knows how politics work and even if Daemon was already married to Rhea Royce of the Vale, what of it? Aegon had two wives and Maegor had six. I don't think Rhea would even care whether Daemon takes another wife or not. 

He never should have trusted Otto Hightower.

He should have done what Jaehaerys I did, if you have read Fire and Blood then you'll know what the young king did when people were outraged with his marriage with his sister-wife Alyssane, when he sent forth seven people to spread good words about the queen. He could have taken this idea as an example on how he could help Rhaenyra gain support not just from other houses but the commonfolk as well. 

All in all, I don't think Viserys was a terrible person. He just made some terrible decisions.

Fun fact: Prior to his death, King Viserys was able to spend time with Aegon and Helaena's children (Jaehaerys, Jaehaera, and Maelor). His grace gave Maelor a pearl ring to play with and told the twins about the tale of Jaehaerys I who went to the North with his dragon and fought the wildlings, giants and wards. He then sent them away so he could take a nap (he felt weary and tightness on his chest), he never woke up.

[Special Shoutout]

This is Paddy Considine's final appearance in the show! 😭😭 I am so going to miss him but I cannot thank him enough for playing the character of Viserys I Targaryen so well. This episode was his best performance ever! 

[Meh]

I would describe Aemond's character as a Daemon wannabe, but compared to Aegon, I like this raging bitch more. 

I know people were fuming over Viserys' last convo with Alicent, I was so stressed too but even if Viserys had told Alicent about Aegon the Conqueror's dream, I don't think it would be enough for the Hightowers to accept Rhaenyra as heir to the iron throne. Since Aegon the dumbshit was a male and blood of the dragon too, they'd still think that the prince that was promised could also possibly come from his line (since Viserys doesn't have any solid proof that the prophecy was about Nyra). So either way, Rhaenyra's claim to the throne will always be questioned and frowned upon by many simply because she was a woman. Sad. 

I'd like to think that Rhaenyra and Alicent was so ready to put aside their strife during the dinner scene but nah, even if the queen showed signs that she still cares for her ex-bff, her leech of a father would corrupt her mind and make her hate her stepdaughter so…I don't buy this shit. 

Fun fact: When Viserys held a feast to celebrate his somewhat recovery through maester Gerardys (Rhaenyra's maester), the princess, the queen and their children were all required to attend. There the two pretended to have agreed to settle their conflicts, the kiddos greeted one another and broke bread together at the table which pleased the king (Source: Fire & Blood by George RR Martin).

Lady Mysaria is back in the game, and I'd say she's one of the characters who shouldn't be ignored. She's like the Melissandre in this timeline. 

Btw, I've also seen some memes about Viserys saying he loves all his children but he favors Rhaenyra all the time. Well, it's because the king had more time to bond with her unlike the other kids who he really didn't get to spend more time with since his health was already deteriorating while they were growing up. Second, they're not in Rhaenyra's situation. Aegon or Aemond can father as many bastards as they want and still get away with it whilst Rhaenyra is being called a whore for having sons with the man of her choice. But I do agree that in doing so, his other children felt neglected by him.

[WTF]

Alicent is a fucking hypocrite. She doesn't practice what she preaches: she judges Rhaenyra for having kids with the man she chose, she brainwashed her children into hating their nephews, didn't teach her kids the values she said she upholds, gaslighted a poor maid after being r*ped by her son, paid her to keep her mouth shut, and made her drink the moon tea to erase the evidence of Aegon's crime (sad to say, these things happen in real life too). Lastly, she was disgusted by the Targaryen's incestuous relationship yet she forced Aegon to marry his own sister Helaena and then subjected her daughter to a terrible married life. WTF.

I can't wait for Aegon to die 😏 even if the dance of the dragons was depressing af, I am consoled with the fact that ⚠️ SPOILER ALERT: two of Rhaenyra and Daemon's children will become kings (Aegon III and Viserys II) ⚠️ so Daemyra's bloodline will still prevail. 

THEY REALLY FUCKING EXCLUDED DAERON TARGARYEN! The youngest of Viserys and Alicent and the only green I stan, which means I wouldn't probably see Tessarion, and I was looking forward to that. 

[vanosslirious]

BBS Dialogue Prompts: #304

BBS Prompts & Sentence Starters: [ 9 ]

VANOSSGAMING

I promise you if you leave me here, I’ll be here when you get back.

I thought you were actually flying.

Oh shit, the circle, I’m so distracted.

How do I shoot?

Wait, is that you?

Everything seems fine right now, nothing out of the ordinary.

Wow, what a coincidence.

How did you lose your car?

You got what you were asking for.

He has fucking guns...again!

Yes, genius, you're a fucking genius!

You’re blocking the door.

I didn’t do that.

We’re currently at 0 out of 5 at what we’re supposed to do.

I’m going to the helicopter.

How do I put you in there?

I dropped you on the floor.

We're doing the plan we said we were going to do.

I thought we were safe.

10% of the time, your ideas work.

TERRORISER

We get this son of a bitch, and then we run away.

Nope, he's running away.

I missed all of my shots.

I'm single, please approach.

Yeah, I'm on it, bitch.

You're so negative around Christmas.

Let's go check out that safe.

Okay, this is definitely not someone from our group.

That marks off a lot of us.

I don't like this man, you're fluent in this fucking game.

Ms. Vixen

Oh God, I'm falling, oh shit.

What the fuck, I'm not!

What do we need to buy, guys, what do we need?

That was really loud, that was very high pitched, I'm impressed, babe.

What the fuck, you guys fucking suck!

How are you not dead, he literally just walked right up to you.

He's dead, thank fuck.

He's back again, oh God, oh God.

I'm dead, I love you!

Do you see what I'm working with?

SILENTDROIDD

We should be fine around here.

I’m pretty good with my hands.

Oh, we're stranded!

Somebody sneezed.

Should we take them to the hospital?

What do you mean, it's pretty scary.

Somebody sneezed again.

Guys, the door is locked.

Hey, ghost, are you here?

This might be a trap, she could be possessed.

SMII7Y

Where’s the heart?

Is he bleeding?

I’m pretty proud of us for taking this long to make that mistake.

No, I was going to cut his head off!

Aren’t we all nearly thirty?

Don’t push me towards him, bro.

You’re fucking done.

Why are we so mean to each other?

What the fuck did you just do, do it again!

I have no other friends, my friends.

GRIZZY

Have you ever thought about just getting off?

I'm stuck on top of you.

I'm so scared.

I really hope they don't check this.

We survived and still got bodied.

They are frozen.

I'm going to destroy things close to us.

Is this small enough?

I'm about to go to war with some bitches!

I think dad's on the motor again.

BLARG

Have you tried eating a live bear?

The bears aren't keen on being eaten…live.

I'm thinking fifty more days.

It looked like it just laid an egg.

I got bonked in the head by a fucking semi-truck.

What a beautiful day to sit inside to play this shit fucking video game.

Not everyone at once.

Hey, boys, can we step it up here.

I don't care who you are, you're not winning here.

Oh God, I thought I was gonna throw up.

BIGPUFFER

Try smoking now, bitch, see what happens.

I can't believe I'm alive.

You deserve that, bitch.

I'm definitely going to make it.

This is awful.

I just heard a shotgun.

They just ran past us twice, did you not see them?

Did you guys get his ectoplasm?

I'm back, baby!

It's very obvious where we are.

NOGLA

It's not my fault I'm so smart.

You guys used to be cool.

Alright, fuck it.

I'm controlling it with my feet.

You’ll never get me.

This is the idea, are you serious?

Why are you suddenly turning on me, what the fuck happened?

You are one cheating son of a bitch.

You crashed my game.

I heard that thud, bro.

[blambololi]

“FRINGLES”

#fringles #fringlesstory #joebiden

<<PROLOGUE>>

Fringles Frances Turner was born out of wedlock to John "Jax" Turner and Katherine Evergreen in Lincoln, Nebraska. Jax and Katherine split when Fringles was 2 because they didn't love him enough :(

Fringles grew up with his dad, always switching between motels to stay at for the night. Fringles's favorite toy as a baby was his dad's unloaded Beretta M9. Fringles would stay at his Mom's house once every couple of months, where he'd meet his Mom's boyfriend Phil

One night, drunk as shit, Jax was tucking in Fringles to go goodnight. Fringles was like 4. Fringles asked his father "When can we go back to Phil's house? He's really cool" and Jax replied "You don't wanna go back there, that place has evil clowns"

"Really?" "Yeah and mom's one of them"

This was news to Fringles, his own mother had been turned to a clown. He never went to his mom's house again, vowing to one day turn her back into a person. Katherine and Phil broke up 3 months later

Fringles and his dad did everything together. They went to see movies, went to baseball games, got ice cream together, ran in fields of grass together, the whole nine yards.

One day Jax asked Fringles what he wanted to be when he grew up and Fringles said he wanted to be a cop. Jax got pissed and yelled at him, telling him he ever becomes a cop then he's assed out of a house. Fringles wouldn't learn til much later tho that the reason his dad got upset was bcuz he had a friend named Kenneth Jones in Omaha who was killed because he didn't have his hazard lights on, so some cops pulled Kenneth out of the car and shot him 4 times

Despite being a bipolar pill head with a criminal record, Fringles loved his dad more than anyone else in the entire world

"Dad, what's school gonna be like?" "Well, it's like prison, but with less funding" "what?" "Nah I'm just fucking with you, you'll probably be fine"

Fringles was both really scared and really excited about starting kindergarten. What if it's not exactly how he wanted it to be?

<<PART 1>>

Fringles had breakfast, it was ham and eggs or something idk. Anyways Jax drove Fringles to school in his Pontiac Solstice and they both walked inside the building.

Jax and Fringles walked into the classroom with all the other parents and their kids. The teacher walked in, Ms. Applegate. "Hello everybody, I'm Ms. Applegate". Ms. Applegate said. Fringles immediately did not like her

After a few minutes, parents started leaving one by one. "Dad, are you leaving?" "Yeah". Fringles didn't want his dad to leave, he was scared to be by himself. "Son don't worry, I know your teacher is a bitch and a half but I promise I'll be back here to pick you up at 4"

School didn't end at 4 but Fringles knew what his Dad meant and hugged him goodbye. As his dad left through the door, Fringles was now in foreign territory. What was he gonna do?

As the teacher laid out the lesson plan, Fringles immediately realized he hated doing work and wanted to go home. "No, I have to be strong! I can do this!" Fringles said to himself. He had to be strong for his dad!

He fell asleep during class but woke up when it was time for recess. As he walked out, he saw the entire playground. What was he gonna play on? The swings, the slide, the monkey bars?

He chose none of them because he was still really tired. He decided to try and make friends, so he started walking towards the first kid he saw which was a girl on the swings.

"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm Fringles" said Fringles. "I'm Emma. You want to swing next to me?"

"No thanks, there's like mud water and wood chips on it"

"Oh okay, well see you later!"

"Wait, what kinda things do you like?"

Emma started thinking. "Well...I like jet-skiing. You ever been?"

"No" "Your family must be really poor then."

"Uh, kinda" Fringles said. "Why would you say that? That was really mean"

Fringles kept talking to Emma for a bit. He actually really enjoyed talking to her, this is the first full length conversation he's ever had

"Uh oh" Emma's face turned red. "Yeah? What's wrong" Fringles asked

Fringles turned around and felt the force of someone's fist connect with his eye socket. He looked up and saw some kid with a shaved head and red shot eyes, his first day here and he already got punched in the face that's crazy

"Why the hell did you do that?!" Fringles asked the kid. "Don't talk to my girl, don't look at her, don't do anything with her!" The kid said.

"Whatever! Fine, she's yours!" Fringles said, coughing up blood because he just got punched by that kid. The kid walked away mad and Emma helped Fringles stand up. "Why the hell didn't you do anything?!" Fringles said to Emma. "Sorry, I thought you were gonna fight back"

"Well thanks a lot, Emma! Good to know you have my back"

"I said sorry"

"Who was that kid?"

"Henry, he's my boyfriend."

"Why did he punch me?!"

"Idk, I guess he didn't like you that much"

"Fuuuucckkk, my jaw..."

Fringles looked up and saw the entire playground staring at him. "What?!" He yelled. They all looked away. Ms. Applegate's not even paying attention, she doesn't get paid enough

"Don't talk to me!" Fringles said to Emma and then walked away. Even though he was upset at her, Fringles couldn't stay mad at her for too long. Honestly, he thought her helplessness and indifference was kinda attractive. The rest of the day was pretty good, Fringles had hot dogs for lunch

Later Fringles's father picked him up from school and asked him how his day was. Fringles looked at him confused "Dad, don't you see my eye?"

"Yeah it looks like you got punched"

"Yeah by some kid named Henry. Dad, I don't think school is right for me"

"Shit, on your first day? That's like a record. Did you at least fight back?"

"Not really. I didn't really have a chance to"

Jax thought for a second then reached into his glove compartment and pulled out a pocket knife "Son, do you know what this is?"

"That's a knife"

"No, it's a safety utensil. I want you to take this to school with you and pull it out next time you get into another situation like this"

"Dad, I can't take a knife to school! I'll get in trouble!"

"Who would you rather get in trouble with, the school or me? You don't have to use it, just pull it out next time some kid tries to mess with you"

"What if the kid's not scared?"

"He will be, it's a knife"

"I'm scared about this, Dad"

"Son..."

Jax rests his hand on Fringles' shoulder. "Just take the goddamn knife"

Fringles takes the knife and looks at it. He really doesn't think this is a good idea

"Trust me, you don't want me handling this myself" Jax says. "You're 5, you're not a baby anymore. You can fix your own problems"

"Ok whatever you say Dad" Fringles says

Fringles and his dad would spend the rest of the day watching Married With Children until 4 in the morning because that's how his dad rolls

The next day, Fringles ate some breakfast got dressed and his dad put the pocket knife in his school bag

When they got to the school, Fringles' class was in the middle of recess

"Tell me how everything goes, ok?"

"Ok I will" Fringles got out the car and began walking to the playground with the knife in his pocket

He looked and saw Henry hanging out by the gates, throwing rocks at red ants

Fringles walked up nervous to Henry and started a conversation "Hey, remember me?"

"Yeah?"

"You hit me yesterday"

"Yeah...what about it"

"You really shouldn't hit people"

"What are you, my dad?"

"No because you know what I look like"

It took Henry a while to get it but then he got offended. "I hit you because you were flirting with Emma. Do you want me to do it again?" Henry asks

"No. I mean, yeah!"

As soon as Henry started walking towards Fringles, he pulled out the knife and pointed it up  causing Henry to take a step back

"Holy crap, is that a knife?" said Henry. Fringles quickly tried thinking of something snarky to say to him

"Uh...what does it look like, fatty?"

Henry immediately started crying really loud and every kid started looking in his direction. While Fringles was distracted, Henry knocked the knife out of his hands and grabbed him by the shirt collar. Henry grabbed him and slammed him into the gate

Not knowing what to do at that exact moment, Fringles did the first thing he could think of which was to bite Henry's hand to make him let go

At this point, Ms. Applegate got up off her lazy ass and came to see what was going on with the kids she was supposed to watch

She broke up the fight and told both of them to go to Principal McDingle's office. She then picked up the knife and asked "who's knife is this??" But no one wanted to say who it belonged to

While in the principal's office Fringles' dad was called and Henry's step-dad was called. Henry's face was still covered in tears and Fringles was just mad they took his dad's knife

About an hour later, Fringles' dad showed up to pick him up. When they got in the car Jax started asking him all these questions "What happened? Did you win?" And Fringles was just like "Can we please go home?"

That night while being tucked in, Fringles tells his father he's upset because the teacher took his pocket knife. "Sorry Dad, but the teacher grabbed the pocket knife you gave me" "Don't worry about it son, I can order a box of those for cheap off EBay". "Dad, I don't want to wave knives at school. I want to be a good kid and just get good grades"

"I know buddy" Jax kisses Fringles on the forehead "but sometimes you gotta stab a mothafucka. You'll get it when you're older". He turns off the light and is about to close the door

"Dad?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"What's gonna happen with Henry?"

"Well...either he's going to leave you alone now, or he won't. And you've just gotta deal with either one"

"Is his family gonna press charges?"

"I don't know why, what you did was self defense"

"Didn't feel like it"

"Well, it was. So good night. Oh by the way, technically speaking you're 'suspended' so no TV or video games for a week"

"Aww..."

"And someone wrote gullible on the ceiling"

"What?"

"Nah I'm just fucking with you! You're not actually grounded"

"Oh"

Fringles was actually suspended though, and he didn't go back to school until a week later. The day he went back, none of the other kids wanted to talk to him

"Hey, Emma!"

"Oh, hey Fringles. Thought you got expelled"

"Nope, just suspended. So you doing anything tonight?"

"Yeah, I'm hanging out at Henry's house"

"That wuss? Didn't you see him crying the other day?"

"Yeah I would've cried too, you held a knife at him"

"Forget about him, come hang out at my house instead"

"No offense Fringles, but I don't really see you that way"

"But...I'm awesome..."

"Besides, it seems like you got some issues you need to work out"

"Pfft. Whatever"

"We can still be kinda friends though. Gotta go, bye Fringles!"

"Bye"

Fringles watched as Emma ran to Henry to give him a hug and kiss him on the cheek. Henry looked right at Fringles, flipped him the bird and then walked off. "What a wuss" Fringles thought, as if he didn't get his ass kicked by him

That night while watching Everybody Loves Raymond, Fringles turned to his dad and told him what happened at school "She just completely rejected me, and now I have to see her at school everyday"

"What's funny is that this show ended in 2005, so Everybody Hates Chris can almost be seen as like a continuation in a way"

"Dad you listening to me?"

"You still all bent about Emma? You probably go to school with lots of pretty girls, what's so important about her?"

"I don't know...I just thought—"

"You thought she was gonna be wooed by your show of masculinity?"

"Well, yeah!"

"Don't be hung up over her, there's plenty of crabs in a barrel"

"...What?"

"The point is this, don't worry about her because pretty soon girls will be throwing themselves at you because of how popular you'll be. You made a stand, and in kindergarten that counts for a lot. Or is that the pen?"

"Thanks, dad"

Fringles couldn't sleep that night because he was too busy thinking about how he's going to go through the rest of the school year now that everyone thinks he's some violent asshole

The next day, Fringles sat alone at lunch, he played on the playground alone, no one wanted to partner up with him in class, it was very sad

"This sucks, I'm getting out of here" Fringles thought, fed up with life at this point. He raised his hand to use the bathroom and tried escaping out the exit doors, but he was only 5 so he didn't realize schools lock those

While fidgeting with the doors, he heard a voice behind him

"Hey, you're Fringles right?"

He quickly turned around and saw a group of what seemed to be held-back 1st graders standing behind him. "Uh...who wants to know?"

"We do"

"Who's we?"

"Us"

"Who's us?"

"We"

"You guys gonna pick on me now or something?"

"Woah, you're on edge. Is it true you held a knife to some autistic kid?"

"Uh...I hope not"

"Is he the one who gave you that big bruise?"

"Yeah"

"Why'd your dad name you Fringles?"

"I have no idea"

"Well listen, we're going to the Chinese store to get some snacks"

"The Chinese store? Yeah I know that place"

"You wanna come with us?"

"Uh, okay. Sure"

The leader of the friend group walks up to the door and opens it with a credit card, which apparently he learned somewhere. "Woah" Fringles says in amazement

"Alright, let's go. By the way, my name's Matt"

"Cool"

Matt introduces Fringles to the rest of the friend group. There's Ox, the tough one, Edge, the poorly-supervised one, Tyler, the pretty boy, and Data, the foreign exchange student.

"Data doesn't say much, he's deaf and dumb." says Matt

"That's kinda mean" says Fringles

They sneak out of school and head to the Chinese-owned corner store down the road. Matt walks in and says hi to the owner.

Fringles is looking around and just now realizes he's never been in a corner store before.

He looks and sees Ox put a bunch of Tic Tacs in his pocket.

"Why do you need so many Tic Tacs?" Asks Fringles

"Have you not heard him talk?" Replies Edge, which is a very Edge thing to say if you know  Edge

Edge then grabs some Big League Chew and some Gushers and starts filling his pockets

"Fellas, do we have enough money for all this?" Asks Fringles

"Nah it's cool dude" says Matt "My dad knows the owner, we can get whatever we want from here for free"

"Oh okay, sounds good to me"

Fringles just starts grabbing handfuls of whatever he can find and putting it in his pocket. This is not good boy behavior

"Alright guys, let's go" says Matt

When they're done, they just walk out like the little rascals they are. As soon as they leave they hear the store owner yelling in Chinese

"Why is he so mad?" Asks Fringles

"He's probably off his meds" says Tyler

"Yeah, he's probably just mad he can't get it up" Ox says and then high-fives Edge

"What does that mean?" Says Fringles

"Idk, I heard it from my dad" replied Ox

Fringles looks over and sees a bunch of older kids hanging out on the street corner smoking cigarettes. They're all wearing character hoodies and their dads probably makes six figures

"Ew, those are the 6th graders" says Matt

"Those guys are total losers. All they do is smoke and watch anime all day" says Edge, chipping in to the conversation that they are having at that specific moment

"Fringles, promise me you won't be like those kids one day" says Matt

But Fringles wasn't listening as he was mesmerized by how confident and rebellious the older kids seemed. He dreamed of being that cool one day

"So, what are we gonna do now?" Asks Fringles

"Idk, I'm pretty tired" says Matt

"Yeah I'm probably gonna go home" says Edge

Ox didn't say anything, he was too busy filling his face with candy

Data was there too

As the group started disbanding, Matt daps up Fringles because that's what cool kids do and says "You should come sit with us at lunch tomorrow"

"Yeah sure, sounds great"

Fringles then returns back to the school building where he sees his dad waiting with his teacher outside. "Where have you been, we've been worried sick!" Said or says Ms. Applegate

"Hey champ" says Jax "Don't worry Ms. Applegate, Fringles here has a little appointment with Mr. Belt when he gets home"

"Good! Fringles you should know better than to sneak out! I'll be having my eyes on you from now on, young man!"

"Yes ma'am" says Fringles, the obedient boy that he is

Jax walks Fringles back to his car and they both get in "Well, like that rotting-old bitch said, I have no choice but to punish you"

Fringles and his dad both start laughing in a hysterical fashion

"So, how was school?"

"It was pretty good, I think I'm getting the hang of it"

"Cool"

Fringles wouldn't even go to school the next 3 out of the 5 days he was supposed to be there the following week, he would just hang with Matt and his friends at the park

A few weeks later back at the apartment Fringles was watching Dragon Ball Super in his room and his dad called him down

"Yeah, Dad?" Says Fringles young and innocent as ever

Fringles looked and saw his dad looking nearly passed out on the couch in a fashion that's traumatizing to a child of Fringles' age

"Fringles? That you?"

"Yeah Dad, it's me"

"You'reee a good kiddddd Fringlessss"

"Thanks. You okay dad?"

"I'm cooollllllll"

"Are you high or something?"

"Nahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

"Oh ok phew, I thought you were"

"Flgkflffll"

"What?"

"I asked if you still talked to Emma"

"Uh no dad, I don't. She changed schools remember"

"She was the one that got away son, you shouldn't have given up so easy on her"

"Dad but you said—"

"I don't care what I said, girls like that only come once in a lifetime and you completely fumbled the bag as you kids like to say"

"But Dad, she had a boyfriend"

"You really let the fact she had a boyfriend stop you? I see it doesn't take much then"

"Whatever, Dad"

"Hey Fringles?"

"Yeah?"

"You're a becoming a real bore, man. You used to be cool"

"Uh, okay"

Jax then turned on his side and fell asleep on the couch. Fringles grabbed a conveniently placed floor blanket and covered Jax with it, showing he cares a lot about his father even though his dad takes drugs or whatever that conversation was

"Sleep tight, Dad. I'll see you tomorrow" said Fringles

END OF PART 1

[bastardfucker]

MOTHER'S DAY OC

This started with making an OC to ship with Soldier Boy after I watched season 3 because I'm a garbage human, but now I'm completely obsessed with her.

Warnings: Miscarriage

Irene Stone A.K.A. Bombshell

She was made into a supe during the same Compound V trial as Soldier Boy, to serve as a test of how V effects the female body. As part of their contract, Ben and Irene were married, and were planning to have a child. Irene didn't care that Ben was a slut, because at the time she just cared about "Serving her country" and marrying Ben was more of a showpiece for their Super Personas, as well as a way for her to have the child she always wanted.

She has all the same powers as Soldier Boy, but since she's a woman and it was the 40s, she wasn't really involved in any of the fighting. She didn't mind, since she and Ben had successfully conceived a child, and she was focused on protecting and welcoming the new life.

Unfortunately, she suffered a miscarriage, and was devastated. Soldier Boy wanted to try again, but Bombshell was convinced that the Compound V is what caused the miscarriage, and that she couldn't take losing another child. This put a huge strain on their marriage.

With no baby to keep her off the field, Bombshell wanted to join Soldier Boy in the fighting, since she's every bit his equal, but Vought didn't want a woman in the field, because they thought it would be "Bad Rep" for the general population at the time if Bombshell was anything other than Soldier Boy's pretty blonde wife.

Because she wouldn't back down, Vought captured Bombshell and held her in the lab for several decades (Telling Soldier Boy that she had left him, which he believed since their relationship was going to shit). She did not know that her eggs were harvested and kept on ice by Vought.

Eventually, when Soldier Boy started becoming a "Problem" to Vought, they fed him a lie that Bombshell had been killed, so he would believe that whatever killed her could kill him too.

In the 1970's during women's liberation, Bombshell was freed by a group of female supes. After decades of torture though, Irene just wanted to get away from it all, so she laid low and never made a public appearance, so Soldier Boy continued to believe that she was dead.

When Soldier Boy was shipped to Russia, Irene believed he was dead just like everyone else. Vought reached out to her in hopes that she would replace Soldier Boy, and she told them to go fuck themselves with a rusty screwdriver.

She never knew that one of her eggs was used to create Homelander, until meeting Soldier Boy again.

During Soldier Boy's resurgence, she travelled to New York to see him for herself. He was upset that she didn't save him from the Russians, until she informed him that she spent decades undergoing similar torture right there in The States and he never came for her.

Soldier Boy wanted to rekindle their relationship, since she's still technically his wife, but after a passionate night together, she turned him down, saying that she can't put herself in that position again.

Soldier Boy tracks her down again after he discovers that Homelander is his son, because knowing how she was held in a Vought lab, he suspects that Homelander, who looks suspiciously like Irene, is the product of their genetics.

Irene is horrified by this, since Vought couldn't save the child they tried for, and instead stole their genetics to create a child who grew up without either of them.

Unlike Soldier Boy, Irene had no conflicting feelings about Homelander and Ryan; she decided immediately that she wanted a relationship with her son and grandson, no matter what.

***

Irene has a special hatred for Stormfront, since she oversaw the scientific experimentation torture that she endured. Considering "Liberty" co-founded Herogasm with Soldier Boy, it's safe to say that the Nazi bitch fucked Irene's husband AND son. Even worse, attempted to turn her son into a nazi.

[cyborg-franky]

Hello Franky!! I was wondering if I could get headcannons for One Piece characters with a reader who has a soft, buttery, smooth kinda voice; but speaks real vulgar and swears like a sailor (haha get it? Pirates?)

Thanks!! 💗💗

I decided to pick a range instead of JUST doing my boys so here we go!

Marco - There isn’t much that surprises or shocks Marco anymore. - He thinks he’s seen it all. - So used to your lovely voice being nothing but polite and cordial. - Marco stared at you; his eyes wide when he heard you tell someone in that pleasant voice of yours ‘fuck off’ - He almost laid an egg when you dropped a line of colourful language when one of the vendors on a small island was trying to rip you off. - He just sort of, slow blinks at you as he tries to adjust to the contrast. Kid - Kid fucking loves it. - Your soft, calm and smooth voice just with a deadpan tone telling someone where they can shove it? - He laughs loud, howling and hitting his knee. - He’s so amused, he loves it. - He repeats what you just said, trying to mimic the tone and way you said it. - Whenever you swear, one word or an entire speech is littered with profanity. - Oh, he lives for it. - “Exactly what they fucking said.” He snorts and completely backs you up.

Thatch - One minute he’s listening to you sing along with him in the kitchen. - Just enjoying your voice, how it mingles with his. - Then you drop a jar, and it shatters on the floor. - Thatch is about to tell you it’s okay, he’s not mad. - The amount of foul words that come out of your mouth but in that sweet tone that was singing to him moments ago? - He gasps, a hand over his mouth as he stares at you. - If he was wearing pearls, he would have clutched those too.

Ace - He’s just chilling with you, sitting, and having a beer after a long day of duties. - As he’s sipping his beer, minding his own business, listening to you talk about your day. - You talk about one of your crewmates that you aren’t fond of. - Without even changing gear, your tone remaining the same you tell Ace exactly how you feel about said person. - In an attempt not to spray you with beer and spittle he ends up snort laughing, beer shooting out his nose as he laughs in disbelief. - “Whaaaaat? Say that again please?” he might have misheard you. - No, no he hadn’t. - He can’t stop grinning like an idiot.

Law - He listens to you talking one night, you are just having a casual rant about someone who annoyed you. - He doesn’t mind listening, says venting and getting feelings out is a lot better than keeping it in, look at him after all. - But when you start your slew of graphic insults and depictions of what you would like to do with the person who annoyed you. - His eyebrows both raise, and he looks at you. - “Well, tell me how you really feel.” He chuckles and decides he likes this side of you. - Something charming about such a nice voice saying ‘I will fucking murder that son of a bitch’

Sabo - Sabo is just minding his own business when you are walking next to him talking. - You’re both chatting back and forth about the mission you’d just returned from. - It hadn’t gone great and you’d messed up a few things. - Sabo tried his best to reassure you it wasn’t as big a deal as you were making out. - That was when he heard your polite and silky voice spit out some very colourful words. - He blinks, laughs, and joins you. - People hear both of you, your nice voices spitting out words that made much older and experienced members of the RA wince and cringe at. - Everyone decided you and Sabo were both nuts.

tag list:

@undercoverweeeb @slut4animedilfs @acesmarigold @sanjithesimp @aces-sweetheart @sugxrslushy @kaizokuwritings @iloveportgasdace @bepoprotectionsquad @ace-no-isha @thatsprettycoolbro @fire-fist-ann @rivvd-art @angeltani @mimi-ya @simp4ace @aifozu @useless-potatho @iloveportgasdace @smoleeveewrites @strawhat-bast @gonuclear

@secretsnailor @dxvilmanlev @aifozu @saisei-no-hano

@rae-vynn @childofblackmaria @donivanessdoodles @rosiinante

@my-muses-in-op

[silhouetteofacedar]

Impersonal, Ch. 7

Previous Chapter - AO3 - MSR, Rated E

The game had ended and he wasn’t surprised.

He expected this. He prepared himself all day Saturday by running six miles, jacking off twice, and mopping his entire apartment. He didn’t even own a mop; he actually went out and bought one. By the time Sunday morning rolled around he was ready for the inevitable collapse of their precarious sexual arrangement and greeted Scully with aplomb.

And then she paid for breakfast.

That was unexpected. When the FBI wasn’t footing the bill, they usually split the tab, or threw a “you can get the next one” down on the table alongside crumpled bills.

He had been joking about it being a date, but then she paid. And it meant something. Her big blue eyes pinned him to the booth, had him trapped and squirming like an insect on a card as she laid a hand over the check. “I’ve got it,” she said, and his senses were suddenly ignited. He could feel thick sunshine pouring over them, lighting up Scully’s hair like a smudge of cinnamon. Her lips looked so sweet and soft, and the very idea that he might never feel them again stole his breath. He felt dry and empty, a desiccated housefly body lying on a windowsill.

He thanked her for breakfast, and his throat was lined with dust.

Their parting was weird. Hinting that he was still available to her was an insane risk, and she turned it into a joke about Frohike. Unless she actually thought he was the one joking about Frohike, which he has to admit wouldn’t be out of character for him.

He’s tired of joking, tired of hiding, tired of dancing around his intentions. Tired of wanting and not asking, tired of being in his own damn way.

Scully has given him a graceful exit, a neatly drawn map back to their pre-sex starting point. And not for the first time, Mulder wads up the map and tosses it aside. Scully made her move; it was time for him do the same.

What that move would be, he has no idea.

It takes him eleven days. No wonder Scully took matters into her own hands the first time around. Inspiration strikes him during his drive from Alexandria to D.C. the next Thursday morning, when he crosses the Potomac and gets a glimpse of faraway blossoms.

He waits until 4:47 that afternoon to say anything.

“Hey Scully, you doing anything tonight?” he asks, rifling through a stack of papers as though he’s attending to FBI business and not trying to work up courage like a schoolboy.

Her glossy red head is bent over a file, pen at her lip. “Besides folding an obscenely large pile of laundry, my schedule seems fairly empty,” she replies. She looks up at him suspiciously. “Why, Mulder?”

“No reason, really. There’s just something I wanted to show you, get your opinion on.”

“Is it related to a case?”

He opens a desk drawer, pretending to look for something. “Well it could be a totally natural phenomenon, but who can say for certain without proper investigation?”

Scully sighs. “Fine, I’ll bite. And speaking of bites, I’m starving. If we’re going to work off the clock, can we at least eat?”

“Wanna stop for Chinese? We can take it with us. We’re not going far, the food should still be hot when we get to our secondary location.”

They take Mulder’s car, picking up several cartons of food from a restaurant in Chinatown a few blocks up from the Hoover building before making their way towards the National Mall. Mulder parks in the lot near the Washington Monument.

“You weren’t kidding when you said we weren’t going far,” Scully says, gathering up the bag of takeout. “What exactly are we looking for?”

“That,” he replies, pointing ahead.

Hundreds of cherry trees line the Tidal Basin, their leaves almost entirely obscured by tufts of blossoms. Scully steps onto the path, open-mouthed.

“Oh my god,” she murmurs.

Mulder shoves his hands in his pockets. “Pretty fantastic, huh?”

“Mulder,” she says in awe, looking sideways at him, “What are we doing here?”

He shrugs. “I just wanted to see them.”

“At night?”

“Daylight’s for tourists, Scully.”

———

They’re sitting on the damp grass, endeavoring to split the last egg roll using only their dueling pairs of chopsticks.

“This is impossible, Scully. I’m going to use my hands.”

“Then I definitely don’t want the other half,” she says.

“Are you implying something about my hygiene?”

“I’ve seen some of the places your hands have been, Mulder.”

He wiggles his eyebrows at her, and she rolls her eyes.

“Not what I meant,” she says softly. “But the point still stands.”

Mulder lays back on the lawn, his long coat fanning wide. Scully pulls an edge of it towards her, scoots closer so she can rest her pantyhose-clad calves on it instead of the grass.

“I’ve always preferred the blossoms at night,” he says. “There’s something ghostly about them, all pink and white against the dark sky. Not an ominous kind of ghostly, however; if good spirits exist, I think they’d look like these trees. You know most early European religions feature some sort of reverence for trees or forests, whether as spiritual gathering places or deities themselves-“

“Mulder.”

“Hm?”

“Are you going to eat that egg roll, or can I have it?”

He passes her the carton. “And-”

“Why did you bring me here, Mulder?”

He glances at her and is surprised to see a tenderness in her eyes. His gaze returns to the branches above.

“I just figured I owe you a nice trip to a forest, and this one won’t require any paperwork.”

Scully smiles. “That’s a very considerate choice, Mulder, especially since I’m always the one doing said paperwork.”

“You’re more succinct and readable than I am, apparently. And Skinner clearly likes you better.”

“Didn’t you punch him in the face once?”

“That’s beside the point. I think he has a bit of a crush on you, Scully.”

She rolls her eyes. “What?” Mulder asks.

“I just… it’s nothing, It’s been a long day. And it’s cold out here.”

Mulder sits up and withdraws his arms from the sleeves of his overcoat.

“No- Mulder, don’t, I’m fine.”

“Move your legs,” he instructs, pulling the edge of the coat out from under her. He stands and drapes it around her shoulders before plopping back down on the grass next to her.

“Thanks,” she says. “Still, it’s getting late.”

He glances at his watch. “It’s seven-thirty on a Thursday. You got somewhere to be?” His arm bumps her shoulder companionably. “Come on, just a little longer. Maybe we’ll see something unidentified in the sky.”

He grins at her and the corner of her mouth twitches in reply. “Well, I guess I don’t have a choice,” she sighs. “You drove us here.”

He feels a slight increase of pressure against his arm and realizes that Scully is ever so slightly leaning into him. A gentle warmth glows in his belly, and he glances sidelong at her.

I’m a lucky son of a bitch, he thinks.

“How so?” Scully asks.

Oh. He said it out loud. He clears his throat, tries to steer his thoughts back into safer waters.

“Well, for one thing, I’m not dead,” he says. “Not for lack of trying.”

Scully nods solemnly.

“I’ve seen incredible things, things people spend their whole lives looking for, hoping for, believing in. I’ve tasted proof, held the truth in my hands. And in spite of everything, I’m still here. We’re still here. That’s pretty goddamn lucky.”

“I don’t feel very lucky,” Scully says softly. “Sometimes I feel like I’ve fucked up every good thing I’ve ever had a chance at. My father certainly thought so, at least for a long time.”

They sit silently for a moment. “Without you, I’d be long dead,” Mulder admits.

“I know,” Scully replies. “I’m always awed by your resilience, actually. I can’t take all the credit for your continued survival.”

“Yeah, you can,” he says, getting to his feet and dusting stray blades of grass off his slacks. He holds out a hand and helps her to her feet. Her fingers are cool against his palm, and he wonders if she’d notice if he didn’t let go. Probably.

He wants to pull her in by the lapels of his coat, gather her to his chest, hold her for no reason other than he can. Kiss her brow, smell her hair, feel her small hands sliding under his suit jacket. He wants her just as she is, for exactly who she is.

But he’s a chickenshit, so instead he just walks beside her along the Tidal Basin, under the cherry blossoms, and doesn’t hold her hand.

They spend the five minute drive back to the Bureau in comfortable silence. Scully leans her head against the car window, and Mulder briefly wonders if she’ll fall asleep. He loves when she nods off while he’s driving; it makes him feel safe. She makes him feel safe.

He parks a few spots away from her car in the Bureau parking garage, turns off the engine. Scully gathers up her briefcase, leaving Mulder’s coat draped open on the passenger seat.

“Why are you getting out?” she asks, seeing Mulder unbuckling his seatbelt.

“I need a file from the office,” he lies. He exits the car and goes around to her side. “I’ll walk you to your door, it’s on my way.”

It’s twenty feet from her car to his. “Thank you, Mulder,” Scully says sardonically, fishing her keys out of her coat pocket. “If I weren’t armed, that would have been very thoughtful of you.”

“Don’t mention it,” he replies. He takes a step forward.

“What are you doing?” Scully asks, one hand on her car door, keys in the other.

“Nothing,” he replies quickly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” God, she’s so small, this could so easily go wrong-

He pitches forward, bending down, and presses his lips to the fullness of her cheek. His nose brushes the soft skin under her eye and he inhales sharply, drawing back.

They blink at each other. “Bye,” Mulder offers.

Scully nods. “Yes. Goodnight.” She glances to the elevators. “Was there actually a file you needed?”

He just looks at her, and she presses her lips together in understanding. “Right. Well, I’m leaving, so… see you tomorrow then.”

Right. Despite recent events, the earth was still spinning.

Later, when he hangs his overcoat, he notices the faintest scent of her shampoo on the collar.

[girl-with-cat-eyes]

Telling The Parents

Summary: Set directly after Wednesdays. Thomas tells his parents about the baby. Virgil blames himself.

Ships: Thvi

A/N: Part 2 of the Reba au you didn't know you need in your life. This time featuring twice as many asshole parents. Special thanks to @amazon-me-bitches and my lovely qpp @forever-forgotten-angel. This is a sequel to my fic to Wednesdays so if you haven't read that go read that first. It explains a lot. As lovely leave a comment if you like it!

Janus hummed as he fixed breakfast, the sweet and savory smells wafting through the house. He’d always loved cooking and was quite good at it. Pat may have been the one with the restaurant, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t able to make a delicious breakfast. Not to mention it served as a good distraction from life and upcoming discussions. Discussions with his pregnant son and his boyfriend about their baby. Janus sighed as he began warming up making hashbrowns. This was going to be an interesting conversation. 

Two sets of steps came down the stairs. Janus smiled as he saw Emile and Remy, both clad in their school clothes. He handed them each a foil packet with a waffle breakfast sandwich, “Be good at school ok. Your dad will drop you both off and I’ll pick you up from school.”

Remy nodded, “Why doesn’t Virgil have to go to school today?”

“He’s not feeling good today. I’m going to stay home and take care of him.”, It was a half-truth. But it was easier than saying that he wanted to discuss the pregnancy with Virgil and Thomas. And in truth, Virgil probably wasn’t feeling the best after last night’s draining conversation.

Emile pouted, “I wish I was pregnant so I could skip school like Virgil”, Janus blanched. He knew logically that Emile just wanted to miss school, but the thought of this happening again made his heart skip a beat. 

“Well you won't be having kids until you’re 30.”, Emile nodded and grabbed his backpack and lunch before going out to the car with Remy. Janus heard the car pull out of the driveway and got back to work cooking. 

Soon enough he heard Virgil come running downstairs, cursing up a storm as he put on his shoes. “Fuck I’m late. I’m gonna be so late. Shit, where’s my other shoe… Hi dad.”, Janus merely stared.

“I’ll let you get away with those swears just this once. Also, we agreed you’d stay home sick today. Then Thomas, you, and I were going to come up with a plan to tell his parents about the baby.”, Virgil visibly relaxed as he remembered what they discussed.

“Right. I’ll see when he’ll be here.”, Virgil sent a quick message, getting a reply that Thomas would be there in a few minutes. “He’ll be here soon. Is there any reason you’re making that much food?”. In front of Virgil laid several trays with waffles, eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, pastries, a rack of toast, butter, jam, a pitcher of orange juice, and a pot of coffee brewing on the counter. 

Janus shrugged, “You, me, Patton, and Thomas. That’s 4 people. And you’re eating for two. Which makes it 5.”, he answered, not wanting to admit that cooking took his mind off of this upcoming conversation. He poured Virgil a glass of juice, “Drink. The baby will need the nutrients. And you need to eat, I don’t want either of you malnourished.”

Virgil chuckled and sipped his juice, “Overprotective dad mode is now that and overprotective grandpa mode. Good to know.”

Janus huffed, “It is not a crime to want my son and grandchild to be safe and healthy.”, It wasn’t a crime when it was Adelaide who was pregnant either. He shook off the memories, pouring warm maple syrup into a small pitcher. This time would be different, he’d make sure of it. He would take care of Virgil the way that he should have taken care of Adelaide. He’d keep his son safe. 

The front door opened and Patton Thomas both walked in. “I’m back.”, Patton called. He walked into the kitchen, “Thomas is here too. That’s a lot of food Jan.” Thomas nodded in agreement. 

Janus rolled his eyes, “You. me, Thomas, Virgil, Virgil’s baby. 5 people.”, Virgil grabbed plates from a cabinet, “Come on. Make your plates.”. They sat around the table, full plates in front of them. Janus took a bite before speaking again, “So you want to keep the baby as well then Thomas? You want to be in their life. Because I’m going to tell you this now; if you don’t, it will be better for them if you left now than if you bounced in and out of their life.”

Thomas nodded, “I want to be involved. I love Virgil and I love our baby. I want to be the father and partner they both deserve, and I intend to be exactly that. I’d like to marry Virgil. With your permission of course.”

Well, that was good at least. Janus didn’t want Virgil to end up heartbroken. He blinked as he heard the word marriage. His initial reaction was to discourage the marriage until they were older. However, Janus knew that it wouldn’t do any good anyway. His son was stubborn, and if he wanted this nothing would stop him. “Ok. But it’s Virgil’s choice ultimately.’, he looked over at Virgil, who held his hand tightly, “All I can say is that if I were you I would wait until after the baby is born to get married. It’ll be a lot less stress for the both of you. In the meantime just focus on graduating and preparing for the baby.”

Virgil nodded, “You’re supportive of the idea of us having the baby though?”

“Like I told you last night, your father and I will support you.”

Patton nodded from beside him, “We love you both and we want this baby to have a good life.”, he reached out to squeeze Virgil’s arm, “And we’ll help you out so that can happen. We want to help you.” 

“We do.”, Janus refilled his coffee before speaking again, “Have you told your parents yet Thomas?”

“No. There’s one issue.” 

“What is it?”

“My parents don’t exactly know that Virgil and I are in a relationship.”, Janus blinked. That was news to him. As far as he had known, Thomas had told his parents knew that he was in a relationship with Virgil. There had to be something else at play. 

“Why not?”, Thomas looked down and Janus was sure that he could see budding tears. Something was wrong. Very wrong. Great, “Thomas if something is wrong you can tell me, ok? Is there a reason you haven’t told your parents that you’re in a relationship?” “Because,”, Thomas took a deep breath before speaking, “because my Dad said he would kill me if he found out I was gay.”, the silence that followed was deafening. Thomas’ words hung heavily in the air like smog. Janus’s heart leaped into his throat. God, he should have known. He looked at Thomas. His head was hung low, shame apparent on his face.

Patton looked close to tears, “Oh Thomas.”, he got up and hugged the boy. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that. You shouldn’t have to go through that.”

Janus nodded, “And you’re not going to go through it anymore, ok.” He swallowed, mind already made up, “You can live with us.”. Thomas and Virgil both looked at him in shock. 

“Really?”, Thomas asked in a whisper. 

He nodded, “Of course. It’ll probably be better with the baby anyway.”, he gave Thomas a hug. “And we’d love to have you here, ok? You’re a good kid. You don’t deserve this.”  He pulled back and sat back down, ���Here’s the plan. We’re going to finish breakfast because both of you deserve a good meal. Then Thomas and I will take the SUV and get his stuff from his parents’ house. Meanwhile, Virgil and Patton make room for your stuff. Then when we get back, I’ll go pick up Emile and Remy and pick up a pizza and we can unpack.” 

They both nodded and went back to eating. Janus sighed and poured himself some more coffee. He was going to need it today. Thomas spoke quietly from across from him, “Thank you for letting me stay here sir. I just want to do right by Virgil and our baby.” 

“You don’t have to call me sir, ok? Janus is fine. And I would let you move in regardless after that news. You shouldn’t feel unsafe in your home like this.”, Thomas smiled and looked down. Janus’ heart ached for the kid. These two kids were going to have a baby. If he didn’t know better, Janus would think to just take him to an abortion clinic regardless of what he wanted. But he knew Virgil. And Virgil was incredibly stubborn. If he didn’t think his family would support the idea he and Thomas would have just ran away. Janus would rather this baby be born here in a safe, loving, and financially secure environment than in a motel or some kind of trailer park with the two of them barely able to make ends meet. At least here they wouldn’t have to worry about paying the bills, and they both could finish school.

~

Janus left after breakfast to pick up some forms from work, telling Thomas that he would be back to pick him up and in the meantime start making room for his things. Which is exactly what they doing. Patton had run out to go check on the restaurant, wanting to make sure everything was running smoothly so it was just Virgil and him. Currently, they sat in front of Virgil’s dresser, although he supposed it was their dresser now. They’d decided on splitting it evenly in half and were now working on moving Virgil’s things to his half. He looked over at Thomas and gave him a quick kiss before speaking, “I’m sorry about breakfast. I’d have warned you ahead of time if I knew that he would start talking about your parents.”

“It’s ok.”, Thomas shrugged and kissed Virgil back. He continued folding clothing as he spoke, “At least I’ll be out of that house soon. And I’ll be with you. All I want right now is to be here for you and our baby. That’s all that matters to me right now.” Virgil sighed, “I know but you shouldn’t have to deal with that. It’s horrible that they’re like that T. I’m sorry I made you feel like you couldn’t come to me.”, it was the truth. Virgil had been overcome with guilt since Thomas had admitted the truth about his parents. The words just kept racing around his head, “You were going through all that and I just kept asking you why you didn’t want to tell your parents about us. I’m an asshole.”

Thomas shook his head rapidly, “No you’re not. God Virgil, you’re not an asshole. I lied to you about my parents. I let you think that my parents were supportive and then just hid you from them. Of course you’d think I was ashamed of you.”. He pressed a kiss to Virgil’s head, “I love you though. I love you so much. I know it probably sounds like something a dumb teen would say but it’s the truth. I love you and our baby with all my heart.”

Virgil smiled softly, “I know. I love you too. And I already love our baby so much.”, he turned back to the dresser and blinked at what he saw. A small pastel purple quilt sat folded neatly in the bottom drawer, “I didn’t even know we still had this.”, Virgil whispered as he picked it up.

Thomas stared at the blanket in confusion, “What is it? I know it’s a blanket and all, but what’s the story?”, Virgil unfolded the quilt out in front of him.  Most of the quilt was a pastel purple and blue patchwork pattern then, about ¾ of the way up, the pattern changed to show teddy bear heads, making it looked like they were tucked in. On the back was Virgil’s birth name lovingly stitched. 

He smiled at the sight, “My mom made this for me before she passed. I thought it was lost when we moved here.”, Virgil could still remember searching furiously for the blanket after the move, Janus comforting him when he couldn’t find it. He shook his head, “Guess that shows how little use the bottom drawer huh?”

Thomas smiled and gently stroked the soft fabric; his touch soft, like he was afraid of damaging it, “Perfect timing I guess. We’re about to have a baby and all.”, he looked up at Virgil, “We could use it for the baby. Only if you want to of course. But it could be like a gift from your mother.”

Virgil smiled at the idea, “I like that.”, he turned over the blanket and frowned. His birth named stared outback at him, “One issue though.”, he gestured to the name stitch on, “I know it’s just a name, and I know she picked that name. But it’s personalized, and the thought of naming the baby my deadname feels off.”

Thomas nodded in understanding, “We could see about getting the stitching removed. And then have the baby’s name stitched on instead.”. Virgil smiled at the idea.

“I love that.”, and it was the honest to god’s truth. The thought of being able to use the blanket his mother made for him for his baby filled Virgil with happiness. The blanket had been a huge comfort throughout his life and he hoped it would be a comfort for the baby as well, “Hopefully... Nevermind.”

“What?” “It’s stupid.”, Virgil mumbled. He couldn’t believe what almost came out of his mouth. God, how insensitive would that have been?

“Virge, please just tell me what you were thinking? It’s not stupid. I promise it’s not.”, Virgil sighed, eyes trained on the quilt.

“I was going to say that hopefully we could get something of yours for the baby. It sounds stupid considering what’s about to happen.”, Virgil folded up the quilt, staring down at his lap. He’d been incredibly lucky that he’d caught himself before that came out of his mouth. What had he been thinking? He hadn’t been thinking. That was the problem. God, Thomas was about to get kicked out or worse. He would be lucky if he could get any of his things, let alone baby things. They had bigger problems than that right now. Virgil couldn’t believe how selfish he was being,

Thomas shook his head, “Virgil that’s not stupid or selfish or anything else you might be thinking It’s normal for expectant parents to want to pass things from their childhoods down to their children. I’m not mad at you for wanting that, even if I might not be able to pass something down, ok?”

Virgil shook his head, “I know but it’s my fault you have to do this. If you get kicked out or hurt then it’s my fault.”, He wanted to continue but Thomas stopped him before he could with a fierce kiss. 

“Don’t you dare say that this is your fault.”, Virgil pulled away from the kiss and could see Thomas blinking back tears, “This is in no way, shape, or form your fault ok. My parents are homophobic fucks, that’s not your fault. Moving out will be freeing. I’ll finally get to just be myself. And I’ll get to be there for you and the baby, and that’s what matters most to me right now. Not my parents, not my youtube, just you and our baby. That’s all I care about right now.” “You sound like a love interest in a Jane Austen novel when you talk like that, you know that right?”, Virgil mumbled as he pulled away.

Thomas chuckled, “I aspire to be Austen love interest levels of wonderful. Especially now. There’s going to be a lot of bullshit coming your way and it’s my fault. The least I can do is be a good boyfriend and father. I can’t believe I’m going to be a father.”

“We both are. And I thought you said this accident was both of our faults. It takes two to tango.”, He kissed Thomas, nuzzling against him as he heard a car pull up. “That’s probably my dad.”

~

Janus glanced over at Thomas for what felt like the hundredth time since they began driving over to Thomas’s house. He could see how tightly he held the custody forms in his hands. Hopefully, this would go down peacefully and Janus wouldn’t have to take them to court, god knows Thomas would be 18 before it was fully settled. 

Thomas sat beside him, his leg rapidly bouncing up and down. There was a sigh before Thomas spoke, “You’re not like mad at me about getting Virgil pregnant, are you?”. Fear showed clearly in his eyes. Janus shook his head, still looking at the road before them.

“Well, I can’t say I’m ecstatic that you two are having a baby while still in high school. But I’m not mad. Virgil was on the pill, and accidents happen. And It’s Virgil’s choice to keep the baby. Now all I can do is support you.”, he took a deep breath, “I do have one question though.”

“Go on?” 

“I know you’re making money off of your social media. And that’s good, it’ll offer some financial security. But do you have a backup plan?”

Thomas nodded, “I’m going to get a job so I have a steady income. And then I want to go to UofC, that way I’ll still be close to here. And then I want to be a doctor. That way I can support Virgil and the baby.”

Janus nodded, “I think that’s a great career plan. I could always use an assistant at the office if you need work. So long as you can file papers, of course.” Thomas looked over at him, his jaw-dropping from shock.

“Are you offering me a job?” “Sure. I need an assistant and Virgil want to work with Pat. And you’re going to need money aren’t you? I don’t think your parents will let you keep the car, will they?” “It’s in my name, thank god. I’ve been trying to make sure I’m financially separate from them for a while now. That way I wouldn’t be on my ass if they kicked me out.”, Jaus was stunned at how prepared Thomas was for things to go south. Things were seriously wrong in his home.

“Thomas? You know that you’re a part of our family now, right? And not just because you and Virgil are having a baby. We all care about you. You know that right?”, Thomas nodded, but the tears in his eyes told Janus otherwise.

~

Virgil paced as he waited for his dad and Thomas to get back. Surely couldn’t take this long. Then again, they were most likely packing up everything. Not to mention Janus had to pick up Remy and Emile from school. That would certainly add time to their trip. God, the waiting was the worst part. He’d tried to busy himself by catching up on his homework, but every noise had him running to the window to see if it was them.

After the 5th trip to the window, Patton invited him downstairs to help him bake some treats for Emile’s school bake sale. Virgil was glad to help. So here they were, mixing up a batch of brownies for Emile to take to school. It was relaxing, almost. Took his mind off of everything. Maybe he should bake more often.

“What’s on your mind?”, Virgil jumped and looked up at Patton. His dad smiled at him as he chopped up chocolate, the look in his eyes both comforting and inquiring, “Something’s on your mind. You can tell me. Only if you want to though.”

Virgil shrugged, “I was just thinking that I should bake more. It’s relaxing, take your mind off of things.”, like the fact that he was pregnant at 17 and his boyfriend was about to get kicked out of his home by his homophobic parents. 

Patton nodded, “There’s a reason I bake so much. Beyond wanting to have baked goods in the house at all times. What are you trying to take your mind off of?”, Virgil watched as he dumped half of the chopped chocolate into a double boiler.

“Everything. I know that keeping the baby is my choice and that you and dad would support me if I wanted to get an abortion or give the baby up. And I do want to keep the baby. It’s just a lot. Especially with Thomas. It’s my fault he’s going to get kicked out or worse. This wouldn’t be happening if I hadn’t gotten pregnant.” “Oh baby bat.”, Pat sighed and pulled Virgil into a hug, “What’s happening isn’t your fault. It’s solely Thomas’ parent’s fault. They’re bigots.”

Virgil leaned into the hug, “How do I stop feeling guilty?” “I’m not sure. I know something you can do though. Make him feel welcome here. It’s something we can all do, ok?”

Virgil nodded, but before he could say more, the front door opened and Emile and Remy came running into the kitchen. “Why’s your boyfriend moving in with us?”, Remy asked as he sat his backpack on the counter. “Because they suck?”

“Virgil!”, Patton admonished, “Don’t say that. Even if they do suck?” “Too late.”, Virgil called back as went into the living room. Thomas was just walking in, a large suitcase rolling in behind him. Virgil could see tears brimming in his eyes. He ran forward to hug him, “How’d it go?”

“They signed over custody. Your dad went to get the rest of my stuff. It’s mostly filming stuff left.”, Thomas murmured, “We came in and I told them that I’m gay and we’re having a baby. Then your dad asked for custody until I turn 18. And they just signed it over without any questions. I know it’s a good thing I’m here now but part of me wished they would have fought. Or been accepting. They just said that he could keep me. And they looked at me like I was a disease.” “You’re not a disease.”, Virgil promised, “And there’s nothing wrong with you. You’re amazing and wonderful and I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Your parents just suck.”

“I’m the lucky one here. God, Virge, they called the baby an abomination. Our baby. I hate them”

“I know”, Virgil mumbled before kissing Thomas gently, “Come on, let’s go unpack your things. And then we can cuddle.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too. There’s no one else I’d rather have this baby with.”

~

A/N: Today's fic was brought to you by asshole parents, homophobe, and copious amounts of guilt. The perfect trio for having angst in any fic. I'm taking prompts for this series so leave a message if you have a prompt.

[sunflowersteves]

i don’t hate you || b.b.

𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚 || Bucky has always hated you, since the day you met but you’ve never been able to hate him back.

𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒕 || “From the bottom of my heart… what the fuck?”

author’s note || I was supposed to finish this WAY sooner so I could start writing on series/requests but then 5 minutes of tik tok turned into 3 hours… so yeah.. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this angst! Written for @kitkatd7​’s 250 Writing Challenge! Congrats on 250, love!!

warnings || angst, fluff, swearing, smut [18+], minors do not interact, asshole!bucky, physical abuse is mentioned (it’s not explicit but please read with caution)

James Buchanan Barnes hates you. Absolutely loathes you. But you can’t find it in yourself to hate him. But you should. You should hate the ground he walks on from the number of times he’s treated you like utter shit. You should throw him out of the tower for the number of names he’s called you.

But for some reason, you don’t hate the son of the bitch. You don’t hate how he tells everyone he’s ‘going to the gym’ when in fact he goes to a field to pick flowers. You don’t hate how he’ll protect the people he loves even if it gets him captured, tortured, or even killed. You don’t hate how in the morning he makes the whole team a batch of coffee without saying anything. You don’t hate how despite the pure hatred he has towards you, he still calms you down during your nightmares.

As a matter of fact, the only feeling that seems to flutter out of you when he’s around is fervor, warmth, and giddiness. And that drives you fucking insane. How can a man that has only brought you disgusted looks, snappy remarks, and exasperated arguments make you adore him?

And you don’t think you’ll ever be able to answer that question. You have absolutely zero clue why you love somebody who hates you. 

However, the one thing you hate, the one thing that makes your heart fill with animosity and malice are his actions towards you. And you have no idea why! The first day that Fury introduced you to the team, everyone had been the utmost kindest towards you. They had greeted you with beaming smiles and laughter except for him. He looked at you with narrowed eyes and a flattened smile but you never chose to be mean back. Well, unless he made snappy comments or argued with you. Then you gave him hell, which only led more fuel into his weird hatred towards you.

And today was no different, the whole team was eating breakfast and you all had been just talking pleasantly until Bucky came in with a grunt and made a sly comment as the only seat left empty was next to yours. 

Tony rolled his eyes and picked up his orange juice to take a sip. “So what are you gonna do today, kid?” You set your fork down, moving your attention solely onto him.

“I think I’m going to make her a bouquet of her favorite flowers.” The team all smiled and some gave you sympathetic looks. Tony offered to help, knowing much about how you’re feeling on days like these.

Bucky snarked, “For who?” You blinked, shoving around some of the scrambled eggs on your plate with a fork. “My mom.” Bucky laughed while the whole team just fell silent, shocked at Bucky’s belligerent actions. You looked at him with small tears in your eyes. 

“Oh, don’t get teary-eyed on me. That’s the stupidest shit I’ve ever heard. A homemade flower bouquet?” You quickly got out of your seat and ran to your room, slamming the door behind you. Bucky was still snickering, not grasping the light of the room until the whole team started to yell at him.

“What the fuck, Bucky?” Nat screamed at him. He looked at everyone confused by their disappointment. “What? It’s lame to-” This time Steve snapped. Normally, Steve would just sling his head down in disappointment at his best friend’s assery but today was different. Today was the one day that you didn’t deserve any shit thrown at you.

“It’s the anniversary of her mom’s death! It was real mature of you to just shove it into her face that making a bouquet for her mom’s tombstone is ‘lame’ and what did you say? Oh yeah. ‘The stupidest shit I’ve heard.’” A fuming Steve shoved his chair back and aggressively stomped out of the room, mumbling curse words at his best friend.

Bucky just cringed the whole time. He did not know it your mom’s anniversary of her death. Hell, he didn’t even know your mom was dead but he never paid any attention. God, he was so selfish. Bucky’s stomach dropped as he watched Steve softly knock on your door for comfort. He knows that should be him instead. He wants that to be him instead. But Bucky’s an asshole. He shoves away the people he loves. He convinces himself that it’s better that way but now, he’s hurt someone he loves by driving them away.

Bucky apologizes to the team and rushes towards your bedroom. Steve had clearly already left by the silence that suffocated the air. He softly knocks on your door. “Who is it?” “It’s me.” You don’t answer nor do you move. Bucky sighs. He doesn’t blame you. He’s an ass. “I’m not here to yell I just… I want to apologize.”

You slowly crack open the door, letting him in. You were sitting down on the ground, tears staining your cheeks. His gut twisted with guilt and sadness. He sat down on the ground next to you, watching your every move. “I just.. I want to say I’m sorry. I had no idea it was the anniversary of your mom’s death.” You nodded and sighed. “I know I can’t say sorry to make anything better but… what if I help you with the arrangement?” Your eyes lit up and Bucky smiled. You blinked, never seeing this side of him. Maybe you should have death anniversaries more often.

Bucky took you out of the tower to as many floral shops as you wanted to go to, picking out her favorites like calla lilies, alstroemerias, begonias, dahlias, and morning glories. You then both went to her grave and sat there while reminiscing of the good stories with your mom. You laughed and cried and Bucky did as well. You talking about your mom made him miss his.

Honestly, you could get used to this. Bucky had been the kindest you had ever seen. His eyes lit up at your laughter and his cheeks blushed as you held his hand and squeezed it. 

After getting back to the tower, the two of you went ahead and relaxed for the evening. Sitting on the couch in your room, Bucky turned the TV on and you two started to watch a movie. “Hey, Buck?” He hummed, waiting a moment for his eyes flicked towards you. “Why do you hate me?” He rapidly shook his head. “I-I… I don’t hate you, y/n. I never have.” You blinked at his words. Never?

“Then why have you been acting that way?” He sighed, pushing a hand through his hair. Even though the day had ended up being one of his favorites, he was starting to not like where this conversation was going. “With all of the things that I’ve done with Hydra and being the Winter Soldier, I thought that pushing you away was the best option.”

“What? How the fuck is that pushing me away? Not talking to me is pushing away. Insulting me and arguing with me at every chance is just hatred.” Bucky’s eyes snapped towards yours, his nostrils flared 

“You know what? This is why I acted that way.” You looked at him with fire in your eyes, igniting that well-known feeling you get with Bucky. “Acted what way?”

Bucky gritted his teeth. “You have everything just handed to you. You have no idea what it’s like to suffer!” Your head snaps up and you look at Bucky like he’s got three heads. “From the bottom of my heart… what the fuck?” You put your head in your hands. How the fuck can this prick say that to you? Sure, you haven’t been through anything that he has with Hydra but he hasn’t been in your shoes either. 

“You think I haven’t dealt with pain? That’s absolutely ridiculous, Bucky. Just because you have suffered from something greater doesn’t mean I haven’t suffered at all.” Bucky grossed his arms and huffed, knowing you were right. “My mom couldn’t do anything about my dad beating me because her kidneys were failing. After having type one diabetes for 45 years and having a kid, her organs started to fail.” Bucky’s facade faltered as you continued. He had no idea you went through that. His fiery eyes died down to sullen ones as he listened. “I would visit her when she’d go through hours worth of dialysis and the doctors would ask if I was okay from the bruises.” 

Tears started to fall freely from your eyes. “When her kidneys started to fail again during dialysis they knew this was her last run and she couldn’t qualify for a kidney transplant. Her last vision of her six-year-old daughter was me sobbing as I had a huge black eye covering my face.” You suddenly got furious, an accusing finger pointed straight at Bucky. “My so-called dad then sold me to a crime boss at the city of K’un-L’un. Even though the crime boss treated me as his own and was quite gentle, don’t tell me that I don’t feel any pain. I mean shit Bucky, did you just think I had nightmares, just ‘cause?”

Bucky sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “I’m so sorry, y/n. I’m such an ass. I..I- As I said, I kept telling myself this was the right way so I could push you away. I will never be able to truly show you just how sorry I am. I think that I’m so fucking sick of myself that I take all of that anger and put it on you. I’m so sorry.” He paused, watching your anger die down a little. “the truth is… I’m unbelievably in love with you.” Your head snapped up and your eyes darted around to find a single lie forming on his face or to tell you that this is a joke. “Ever since I laid eyes on you I thought you were the most beautiful person I’d ever seen. You’re funny, you’re kind, you protect those you love. How could I not fall in love with you?” Wait, he didn’t hate you?

Your heart was beating a thousand miles and he nervously continued. “I thought that by pushing you away that I could save you. I know it sounds stupid but I didn’t want my past life of the winter soldier to ever affect you. I could have hurt you but I can see now that I’ve already done that.” He looks at you with a saddened expression, regret filled his stomach. He should’ve just talked to you. But he didn’t. He just wished things were different. 

What he didn’t expect though was to have your lips on his, nipping and moving against one another. Bucky was too shocked at first, appreciating that feeling of your lips on his. Once he regained his thoughts, he immediately wrapped his arms around you, bodies pressed against one another. The room felt hotter each second as you gripped his head firmly, pulling at his hair as Bucky just moaned. His tongue touched yours, swift and electric, then harder and more determined, more passioned as your lips savored each other. 

Bucky quickly took off your shirt, leaving peppered kisses all over your neck and messaging your breasts. He then took off his shirt as you pulled down your pants, reconnecting in the middle. His lips caressed your neck and hissed as he bit down on your sensitive skin. “Fuck.” He whispers, reaching his hand up to pinch one of your nipples between his fingers making your already sensitive skin, ache and cry. You moan his sweet name, wanting more and more from this man.

“Bucky, please.” He chuckles at your eagerness and he quickly takes off your panties. “Shit, doll, you’re already that wet for me?” You nod, biting your lip He instantly takes off his pants and boxers and wastes no time in lining himself up and pushing into you until his hips are flushed into yours. He rocked back and forth savoring the rich pleasures of your voice, whining and gasping from your bodies colliding to one. 

“Fuck, you’re so good. So good to me, doll.” All you could do was moan back, too enchanted to talk. You start to buck your hips as he pushes into you faster and faster. “Fuck, y/n. I love you. Shit.” Bucky gets sloppier and sloppier as your gasps and moans turn louder and harder. You yell his name, screaming into the air as he rides you out, pushing in and out until he soon receives his own high. You both take a minute to breathe and calm down from the best possible sex you’ve ever had.

After the two of you clean yourselves up, Bucky lays in bed with you—snuggled up against your side and wrapping an arm around you. You look at him with glistening eyes and start tracing down his jaw. “I don’t want this night to end.” He looks at you, sorrow filling those blue eyes. “I don’t either. How about we just think about reality tomorrow, okay? Enjoy our moment now.” You nod and rest your head on his chest, listening to his slowed heartbeat. 

You close your eyes and intertwine your hand with his on his torso, letting sleep take you over.

--

Your eyes started to flutter open at the sensation of Bucky’s fingers tracing the outlines of your body. You both stare at each other for a little while, savoring the moment you two had. However, you knew that it would soon be broken. Life and reality aren’t that easy.

You sit up, covered draped around your naked body. Bucky looks at you like he knows what’s coming. Which, by the way he’s treated you, should’ve guessed by the start.

“Look, I don’t regret what we did last night and we both know it was a huge spur of the moment.” You paused, watching as Bucky’s stature fell a little. “I know now that you have feelings for me as I do for you but Bucky you’ve treated me like shit since I got here. I thought you spat the ground I walked on, despised my whole entire existence.” Bucky cringed at your words but he knew you were right. The two of you can’t jump headfirst into a relationship after the shit he’s pulled. 

“I thought that maybe we could, you know be in a relationship, but right now, that pain is stronger than my love for you.” Bucky’s heart broke in two at your words. Of course you would be affected by him pushing you away and making him think you hate him with nasty comments and looks. But he knows that there’s still a tiny sliver of hope.

Bucky nods in agreement and smiles lightly. “I’ll wait for you. However long it takes, however long you need to heal from the damage I have caused, I will wait.” He looks over at you and grasps one of your hands. “Do not rush thinking that I will be long gone by the time you’re healed. I’m not going anywhere. And even if you choose not to be with me, don’t think for a second I won’t respect your decision.” You smiled and squeezed his fingers.

This was good. Not a fresh start but the possibility of a second chance. And if Bucky was given that opportunity when you healed, he wasn’t going to fuck this one up. Not anymore. 

[cherryobx]

Pizza puffs//JJ Maybank x reader

requested?: yes bubba “maybe jj with a reader from Chicago if you have time? I've always been told I have an accent whenever I go places and I 'talk too fast'? a special thanks n a forehead kiss if you can add in the reader complaining about the obx not having Chicago style hot dogs or pizza puffs? pizza puffs are literal heaven”

A/N: okay this isn’t as long or as good as o wanted but i hope you enjoy it regardless. school is just so exhausting recently and it’s been taking up all of my time. i hope i didn’t disappoint anyone. (also, it’s not exactly what you requested but i hope this works :))

summary: you miss your favourite foods from Chicago so much that you decide to make them yourself with JJ

warnings: a few curse words, my bad writing, grammar mistakes

WC: 850

(not my gif, creds to the owner!!!)

“JJ, I’m bored!” you whined, poking him with your finger and then laying yourself across his lap to get his attention. But he didn’t even look at you. He was too invested in his videogame to notice.

You waited a minute before grabbing his chin and making him look at you.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yes,” he lied, still looking at the screen in front of him.

“JJ! I’m leaving unless you entertain me or something. I just want to spend time with you. Come on, don’t be a bitch!”

“Wait, let me finish the game and then we’ll do whatever you want.”

So you waited about 10 minutes and then he was finally done with the game.

“So,” he set the controller down and then looked down at you on his lap. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know. Literally anything’s fine,” you said before you came up with the best idea ever.

“Oh my God! We should make pizza puffs at home!” you excitedly rambled leaving JJ looking confused.

Since you had moved to the Outer Banks almost a year ago from Chicago, you hadn’t had any of your favourite foods there. Including pizza puffs. You just couldn’t find them in stores or restaurants.

“What did you just say? Babe, you talk so fast I can hardly understand you. Plus the accent. Actually, I don’t know how anyone can understand you.”

“Fuck off! I said, we should make pizza puffs. You guys don’t have those here and they are literal heaven. I’ve been trying to find them here but I haven’t been able to find any. I miss those delicious things so much you have no idea, JJ.”

“Wait, what are pizza puffs?”

You quickly rose up from his lap and looked at him, mouth agape in shock. “You don’t know what pizza puffs are? JJ, are you kidding me right now?”

“No?”

“You have been living under a rock, my friend. Come on, we’re going to the store.” You got up from the couch and stretched out your arm for him to grab.

“John B! We’re borrowing the van!” you yelled before taking John B’s keys from the counter.

“Okay, but be careful with it!” he shouted back from his room.

So you and JJ drove to the grocery store and you picked out all the needed ingredients while JJ followed you through the store, trying to slip all sorts of candy and snacks into your shopping basket.

When you got back to the Chateau you laid out all the stuff on the kitchen counter.

“I’m so excited!” you said as you were rushing around the kitchen, looking for the mixing bowls.

“Calm down!” JJ chuckled.

“I can’t. If you haven’t eaten Chicago style pizza puffs, you haven’t lived. I promise these will be a blessing to your taste buds.”

“Give me the flour, please.”

Instead of giving you the pack of flour, JJ had already opened it and taken a fistful of flour out of there. Then he proceeded to throw it at you, covering your whole face and hair in flour.

“JJ, you son of a bitch!” 

To get your revenge, you grabbed an egg and cracked it open over his head, making his blonde hair all egg-y (lmao i do be making up my own words).

“I hate you.” He pushed his hair back so the egg wouldn’t drip onto his face.

“No, you don’t,” you giggled, grabbing the flour pack yourself and pouring the right amount of it into the big bowl.

Cooking with JJ was probably one of the most fun things you had ever done. Even though you did most of the cooking. JJ was just fooling around and making a mess

When you were finally finished cooking the puffs, the kitchen looked like a pack of flour had exploded there. It was all really messy. But the cooking process was fun regardless. The cleaning on the other hand wasn’t as fun.

“It’s all your fault. If you hadn’t started the food fight then we wouldn’t have to be cleaning right now,” you rambled in annoyance, scrubbing the egg remains from the counters.

“What did you say? Babe, I’ve told you countless times, you talk too fast.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Yeah, you do.”

“Whatever.” You rolled your eyes, which made JJ chuckle.

When you were done cleaning, it was time for JJ to taste the heavenly deliciousness you had just cooked with him.

“Are you ready to have your mind blown?” you asked, picking up one of the puffs from the plate.

“I guess.” 

“Okay, open up!” 

He opened his mouth and you put the puff into there. He chewed for a bit, tasting it, and then he swallowed.

“So, how was it?”

“Fucking delicious.”

“Hah, I told you so!” you laughed, taking a bite out of one of the pizza puffs as well.

“What else have you been keeping from me? Any other foods you want me to try?” he asked, shoving pizza puffs into his mouth.

“Oh, just wait ‘til you try Chicago style hot dogs.”

taglist: @teamnick​ @www-imbored-com​ @delightfullynlove​ @prejudic3​ @afterglows7b-tch13​ @tomhardybby​ @ad-infinitums @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless​ @ilovejjmaybank​ @mdlyncline​ @allycat449-blog​ @teenwaywardasgardian​ @copper-boom​ @canibeoneofthepogues​ @fttayla​ @ifilwtmfc​ @bedazzledbanks​ @jeyramarie​ @themaddies-obx​ @pink-meringues​

[moonflower-31]

I Won’t Forget You - Spencer Reid x Reader

Masterlist 

Part 17  

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader 

Warnings: Wounds, Blaming ones self, etc. 

Tags: @dra-reid, @eevee0722, @ceeellewrites, @anotherr-fine-mess, @ssahoodrathotchner, @egg-boy03, @helena-way07, @l0ve-0f-my-life~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The car stopped a few moments later, not giving any sort of indication as to where they were. Derek cursed softly, unable to tell where they were only by sight. He only knew they were somewhere in rural West Virginia. He had seen a sign near a fork in the road that showed him a town name he knew to be in West Virginia. So at least he knew there was civilization. 

"Out, both of you. And don't even think 'bout running." Peter scolded you. You had been silent the entire car ride, knowing what Peter planned to do with you before he could announce it. 

You got out of the car slowly, unable to convince your body to move any faster. Unfortunately, this message wasn't broadcasted to your captor, who put a stop to your 'laziness' quickly.  

Peter’s hand collided with your back and a fist gripped your hair by the roots, pulling your head back harshly. You would've normally loved having your hair pulled by a partner. But not him. Never him. 

"Faster, dammit! I don't have all damn day!" Peter scolded. You felt exhausted just from the verbal abuse. He finally let go, shoving you forward. Your door had already been open, so when he pushed you you fell from the car and landed in the gravel. A few stones dug into your palms and a few others into your arms and shins. 

"Great, see this is why you're such a damn cunt. You're useless unless it involves putting out. Such a damn whore." Peter gritted his teeth. 

Derek felt nauseous and disgusted by Peter’s actions, hurrying as fast as his knee would let him to your side once he was out of the car. 

A hand shoved him away, causing him to stumble. "Stay the fuck away from her. You aren't to touch her. Ever. Understand?" Peter hissed. Morgan felt bile building in his stomach. He had always dealt with guys like this in cases, but he'd never been a victim. He could completely empathize with the fear that they felt now. 

"L-leave him alone, Peter." You cough, spitting out a pebble that had entered your mouth. Peter growled and gripped Morgan’s shoulder tightly.  

"Or what? You fight back, I'll dislocate his shoulder. You run away, I kill him. I thought we went over the rules, pet?"

Peter sauntered over to you, and kicked your stomach, causing you to cough violently. "You shouldn't have left, pet. Then just maybe your brother would still be alive. Maybe you wouldn't be in pain right now. You'd have little ones to keep you company. But you left." Peter sneered, delivering another harsh kick to your abdomen, stepping on your chest when you landed on your back. You had blood on your cheeks and in the corner of your mouth from the abuse, feeling weaker with each kick. 

"Come on, (Y/N)! Don't worry about me dammit! Fight back!" Morgan called, finally freeing his hands from the knot he had been working to get off of his wrists. 

"Why don't you tell him why you won't fight back, hm? Tell him why even after learning to defend yourself in many different ways, you won't fight me?" Peter gritted his teeth, smirking down at your helpless form. 

You already had tears in your eyes. You knew he had to be lying about your brother. But even then, he was still in danger. Everyone you knew was in danger if you fought back. You coughed and looked over at Morgan weakly. 

"Because, everyone would get hurt. N-not just you. E-everyone…" you sputter. Morgan straightened his lips into a strained line, watching you helplessly. If he pursued Peter, he'd get another injury. Then what help would he be to you? 

"That's right. Now, mr. Derek Morgan. Why aren't you playing hero and knocking me out? Isn't that what ladies love? The hero?" Peter asks evilly. 

"D‐don't… don't answer… D-derek please-" you beg. Peter growled and pressed harder with his foot on your chest. 

"You don't speak unless spoken to, bitch." 

Peter turned his head and looked towards Morgan. He smirked and tossed him a ring of keys. "Since you have open hands, unlock that door over there. The dark wooden one." He demanded. 

Derek gripped the metal ring in his hands, glaring at Peter. "And say I don't?" He asks. 

Peter rolled his eyes and pulled out a gun from his back. "She dies. And then you do." Peter threatens, putting the gun barrel against your temple. You swallow and stare at Morgan, shaking your head gently. 

Morgan sighed and gripped the keys in his hands. He then wandered over to the cellar-like door and unlocked it once he found the right key. 

"There." Morgan deadpans, tossing them back to Peter in an attempt to avoid yet another conflict. 

Peter catches them in his hand, a dirty smile on his face. "Finally learning your place. It's about time, D." 

Derek fought off a growl. He hated that nickname. Anything Garcia came up with was fine. Hell, he'd accept Der. But not that. Never that. 

Peter pulled you up by your hair and shoved you forward. "Get inside. Now." 

Your head was tender now with how harshly he was gripping your hair. It almost felt like he was pulling your hair out. You bit back a whimper and got to your feet, barely able to see in front of you from all the previous abuse you endured. 

You entered the small cellar cut out of the mountain, finding the smell to be revolting. Whatever had been in here before you had died. And knowing Peter? They probably did. 

You entered and stood still, waiting for your next instruction. Morgan watched you with pity in his eyes, trying to refrain from speaking. 

"Go put those chains on her. Then put the other set on yourself." Peter growled into Morgan’s ear. Morgan felt his anger boiling hotter in his veins, but after what he had caused before, he wasn't going to risk it. 

Morgan entered the cellar and gripped your wrists. You gave him a reassuring look, and laid yourself onto the ground. You propped up against the rock, holding out your wrists for him. Morgan gritted his teeth and clamped the first shackle around your left wrist, soon repeating it with your right. 

"Good, now you do it yourself. I can't have you open to touching her." Peter sneered, pushing Morgan towards the right wall of the cellar. He was to your right, and you were to his left. But just far enough away that you could only reach up to his knee. His restraints were much tighter than yours, making you feel terrible. He didn't deserve to be involved in this because of you. 

Peter twirled the keys with his finger a few times before he put them on a hook. "I'll be back. Can't have the mother of my children starving, now can I?" He asks, glaring at you expectantly. You felt the pit in your stomach grow, but you didn't say anything. 

Peter turned around and exited the cellar, slamming the cellar door behind him. You jumped slightly and squeezed your eyes shut. 

Both of you stayed quiet for a good few minutes. The silence was unbearable, knowing so much about yourself was just revealed. You pulled your knees close and took a heavy sigh, knowing Derek would be asking questions soon. 

"Go ahead… ask away." You murmured, feeling exhausted and tired of staying awake. 

He took a few moments, but eventually asked "Are you okay?" 

You chuckle weakly, leaning your aching head against the harsh stone wall of the cellar. "That wasn't what I meant." 

"Well too bad, kid. But really, are you okay? He didn't hurt you too bad, did he?" Derek asked. You shook your head, never looking down from the ceiling as you let out a sarcastic and tired laugh. 

"My stalker just took you along with me when you have nothing to do with this. He just made you lock me up to try and get me to hate you, and he plans on trying to get me pregnant. Whether I want it or not. And knowing him he'll do it in front of you t-too." You whimper, your voice cracking as you squeeze your eyes shut and let yourself cry. 

"Kid… don't think like that. Without me you'd have to deal with this asshole all on your own. And I'll be damned if I'm gonna let him hurt you like that. I don't care if both of my legs get shot up." Morgan huffs. 

You let a small smile come onto your face. He was such a good friend. For him to not regret walking you to your car. For him to not want to leave you here. 

"Speaking of which, I should probably get that bullet out." 

"What? (Y/N) you heard him, kid. If I touch you he-" Morgan began. 

"He said if you touch me. He never said if I touched you." You insist and allow yourself to pull him slightly closer so you could treat his wound. 

Morgan stayed silent as he watched you, bracing himself for the pain. You looked up at him pitifully before you dug into his leg gently and pulled out the bullet that had thankfully not gone in too far. 

You looked up again, seeing Morgan’s grimace as he held his head against the wall. "There, I'm sorry. It was gonna hurt no matter what." 

"Don't apologize, dammit. It's that son of a bitch's fault for shooting me in the first place." He groaned in slight relief of his wound being empty. 

You shrugged off your jacket, ripping the sleeves to get it completely off of you. Morgan raised an eyebrow at you, but soon figured out what you were doing once you tore a sleeve off and wrapped it around his knee. 

"There. Just don't move it a ton." You advise, sighing gently as you backed yourself against the wall again. 

"Kid… we're gonna get out of here. Hotch, Prentiss, Reid, they're gonna find us. You know that pretty boy won't let you stay missing." Morgan chuckles somewhat. You appreciated the attempt at cheering you up, but at that moment, all you wanted was to sleep. Pass time until the devil came back and made you eat something probably packed with nutrition for a pregnant woman. 

"Derek… even then. He's gonna try in a couple days. A week at most. And he's gonna figure out I got an implant. Any pregnancy won't be viable." You alert him. "And once he does, he'll dig it out of me. And try again." 

Morgan stared at you in disbelief, unable to believe you'd know all of this was going to happen. "Wha-how-?" He began to ask. 

"You forget that I was 'engaged' to him for a year. I know him because he made me stay by his side almost 24/7. So I know how he thinks. How he behaves. And that he rarely ever lies." 

You sighed and laid a hand on your stomach. "And if he ever does, we're screwed."

○●♡●○ 

A few days later, they thankfully were getting somewhere. 

 "Hotch, do you have that list of his properties? I wanna go over them and put them in the geographical profile." Spencer urged. 

Hotch raised an eyebrow at the mention of his name and nodded. "Sure, I'll have Garcia print them out for you. Anything else you need?" 

"No, I plan on analyzing the letter again, trying to see if I can gather something from the way he writes, his grammar, how hard he presses on the paper-" 

"Understood, Reid. Get to it as soon as you can. But please, don't overwork yourself. You've been here since 4 this morning." Hotch warned. 

"I'm fine Hotch. Just trying to find them." He quickly answers, walking away from him and quickly heading towards Garcia's cave. 

If he were to tell the truth, he hadn't truly let himself rest. He hadn't so that he wouldn't wallow in the guilt he felt for your kidnapping. No matter how much JJ, Prentiss, Garcia, or even Hotch tried, he couldn't shake the feeling that had he not left without you, you would still be here. 

Spencer knocked on Garcia's door, taking a deep breath as he braced himself to face a very upset Garcia. 

The door swung open almost as soon as his first knock completed. Garcia looked up at him with worried eyes, almost on the brink of tears. "Please tell me you guys have a lead, because I am losing hope here and when I lose hope I eat ice cream and I can't do that here." 

"We don't know yet. But I was asking if you could print me that list of properties. And any clients of his that tried to sue him." Spencer asked. 

"What would that be for? He took (Y/N)!" Garcia asks. 

"I want to get a better understanding of what he's like. How he'll react to us going after him. I can't risk him hurting her because we made it overt that we were pursuing him." 

Garcia sighed and nodded. "Okay… I can get that for you. Just watch the printer and you'll find it." 

Spencer nodded and began to leave, turning around once more for a moment. 

"Garcia," he started. 

"Yes, Genius?" She asks with an exhausted sigh. 

"Do you… do you think you could open up her file?" 

"What do you mean?" Garcia asks. 

"I-I mean, maybe there's something there she… she forgot to tell me. Maybe I can find something there that tells me something about him." Spencer expressed. Garcia smiled gently at him and nodded. 

"I'll just add that to the print list and I'll get it to you as soon as I can. Godspeed. Now out before I cry at how pitiful you look." She says with a sad tone to her voice. She gestures and almost pushes him out, making him chuckle gently. 

Spencer shook his head and headed towards the printer to wait for his papers. 

○●♡●○ 

Spencer connected the properties, finding no real apparent pattern. He had already scoured over the letter a few dozen times, but was still waiting on your file. He circled an area in the middle of the map where Peter's main property was. That was the only thing he could find. None of these properties contained any sort of cellar or basement. Which was weird, considering the amount of money spent making these homes. Not even his own property had one. So none of the properties were viable to search. And they were all in a separate city and state entirely. Spencer realized he should have had Garcia narrow it down to Virginia properties. Or at the very least the tri state area. It had been a few days, and they had only received a location from Morgan’s phone once, and it proved them to be somewhere in-between Virginia and West Virginia. 

Spencer turned around and walked back over to the letter and tried to look over it again. Most of the language was possessive. He used plenty of 'me, my, mine,' and plenty of future tense. And the graphite was pressed into the paper pretty hard. So he was angry when he wrote this. 

Then his phone rang. Spencer widened his eyes and immediately answered it, hoping it to be one of the clients he had called. 

"Spencer?" 

Spencer was suddenly taken aback and found his concentration fall apart. "Mom?" He asks. 

"Spencer, how are you? I didn't expect you to answer my call this late." Diana asked. 

Spencer rubbed his face and felt an ache in his chest add to the rest of the weight he was carrying. "I… I'm fine Mom. Just… we have a really stressful case and I'm stuck on finding an answer." Spencer explained in as simple terms as he could. He suddenly realized why his mother was calling, and felt immediately guilty. 

"I'm so sorry about the letters. I would have sent them had this case not gotten so… personal." Spencer rubbed his forehead, suddenly feeling the weight of the bags of his eyes. 

"I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that she wouldn't want you blaming yourself." Diana replied. 

Spencer widened his eyes for a moment and blinked a few times. "H-how did-" 

"Crash, you've never acted like this before, unless it was about a girl you said you liked. Which was rare. But I still remember when you said you liked that…What exactly was her name?" Diana asked. 

"I don't want to remember, Mom. She…" Spencer sighed. "There's just a lot of things I have to figure out. They're all relying on me. She's relying on me to find her. I just…" 

"Don't want to let her down?" Diana finishes. 

Spencer sighs. "Yeah." 

Spencer squeezed his eyes shut and bit his lip, failing at his attempt not to cry. He wiped his eyes and inhaled sharply as he looked up. 

"Mom, I love her." 

Garcia walked into the room soon after, a grim look on her face. Spencer narrowed his eyebrows and looked up at her, mouthing 'What is it?' 

Garcia gave him a warning, uneasy look. Spencer sighed. 

"I actually gotta go. I'll call you when I get home." Spencer promised, letting his mother say goodbye before he hung up.  

"Did you get her file?" He asks, standing up and facing her. Garcia nodded wordlessly. Spencer tilted his head and looked at Garcia unsure. 

"Is there something in it I didn't know about?" He asks, looking at the manila folder in her hands. He stared at it, wondering what could be inside it that would make Garcia act like this. What terrible thing in your history would be that bad? He already knew the bad and the ugly, right?

Garcia took a deep breath. "Let's just say there's a lot to unpack in here. Like, a truckload. And not one bit of it is good." 

[blonde-toddy]

Random and Not So Random thoughts while watching Bridgerton: Season 1, Episode 2

Childbirth scenes are always fun right?

I'm guessing this is the Dukes mother.

Oh he's one of those 'give me a son' types.

Yep they the Dukes parents.

Lady Danbury laying down the law wherever she goes....y'all gonna let her see her friend!

His mother died in childbirth.....fucking hell.

At least he got a son, I guess.

Simon ......... Bassett

Sad, pensive Simon....still hot.

The queen needs all the tea!

Who's that your Grace? Tis not Daphne. You better go promenade mf!

Violet and Danbury still plotting.....

"Only five minutes alone with you in a drawing room...." Jesus! Honey she felt that....and he knew he flexed a lil too hard on that one. But fuck me, it was hot!

Yes Eloise, you're a Jo March. We fucking get it. Womaning is hard and societal expectations are bullshit. They really laid it on thick with her and I hope she becomes a bit more multidimensional.

Hold up. These poor girls don't even know where babies come from. Oh the chastity of it all.

Not that Penelope out here telling Marinas business low key.

Damn....her non-hoe brothers are lightweight roasting her. Ya sis is a baddie! Get with it.

They really don't tell these women shit about sex. Lil brother out here trying to spill the tea though. VIOLET! TALK! TO! YOUR! DAUGHTERS!

Awe shit. Daphne got fans again.......oh and here comes creepy fucking Berbrooke.

Damn Anthony you really calling her disrespectful while you out here trying to sell her like cattle to Berbrooke. Fuck. Off.

Oh it's definitely immaturity. I can't keep on with Anthony's ass. Something has got to shake.

Oh, Violet....you want it to be the Duke.

Shirtless Duke! Yes, please.

"A great deal goes on in a mind as quick as mine." Gawd help me. Kick his ass Simon! Protect your situationship partner!

Poor baby Simon can't speak so well......oh and his daddy is EVIL evil.

Penelope trying to be friendly with the expectant. She needs answers. But DAMN! Even Marina won't explain sex. Somebody help these women. Love does not impregnate. I fucking can't.

The queen of shade appears bored by a lack of new tea.

Get your eggs Daphne!

Violet gets to have tea with the queen....so that means Daphne wears diamonds to tonight's ball. Okay.

Ok Queen Danbury. Get the Duke in line.

Aww Lady Danbury and little Simon! She's here to give that boy the love he deserves. Look at this Queen Fairy GODMOTHER! I just adore her. She really is the queen to me.

Danbury blocking Anthony's attempts at cockblocking is big energy. I want Ratafia now. Let me go Google what in the hell that is and where to find it.

I feel like that lil spin Simon did was a bit of improv, but I liked it.....and you can't tell me they weren't having a real life ball dancing together in that scene. That was legit laughter between friends. I'm here for it. They brought the energy in that dance.

Here goes Anthony's ass trying to fuck it up again. This time he wants middle brothers help. Middle brother just wants to chill, not dance with his sister, bro. I like middle brother. Yes I know his name is Benedict.

Simon shading Berbrooke is gold. Calling him the fuck out was even better.

Oh Anthony....took you long enough.

Daphne is not here to have her honor protected by ANY MAN. I love this bitch. Simon was just trying to help though.

Danbury planting her lil seeds. This is her world. We just wish we lived in it.

Simons going to take the air....ah walk home. Because nothing bad ever happens on a dark walk home.

This mf Berbrooke just will not stop. He gets more disgusting with each interaction, I swear. But what you're not gonna do, is keep disrespecting Daphne. The Duke out here growling at this mf.

Ooooh I love a good head butt!

I stan a fake couple who beat up the same perv.

Oh now this EVIL mf.

You trying to prove yourself. Poor baby.

Old dogs. New tricks. We all know the saying. That mf man is awful. I see some daddy issues coming to the story. That's probably why he stopped himself from completely pulverizing Berbrooke. He doesn't want to be cruel like his father.

Sad reflective Simon.....hiding his pain literally and figuratively.

Damn, Whistledown, Daphne does not want Berbrooke. Everybody knows that. Stop trying to make it a thing.

"It does not matter what the Duke thinks, Rose." Sure, Jan.

I'm sick of this basket weave haired bitch.

Oh Portia.

Penelope and Eloise still knowing nothing about sex is depressing.

Fuck off Anthony. Daphne is done with your fuckery...and she's calling you tf out. I'll say it again, Daphne is my bitch.

Heyyyyy Simon!

Oooof Daphne sees that bruised up hand. You really gonna lie and say boxing. Boy bye.

Oooooh the cuff-buttoning and banter with instense eye contact. KEEP FEEDING ME!

Oh here comes this mf Berbrooke. Duke, you're busted. Simon ready to throw hands again. This hoe ass mf is really trying to force a wedding.

Daphne really just gonna give up. Aw naw.

Violet, God bless you, but your vague ass speech does not help.

Ooooh smoking Eloise. I love a good vice.....oh and sibling bonding. This is nice.

I think Simon likes getting knocked around. There's something very masochistic about the way he seems to enjoy it. He's sad about Daphne having to marry Berbrooke and can't express that in the way he should or would like to....More on this later, I'm sure.

Violet and the queen.....and the queen likes nose play. Okay then.

Ohhhh the queen is basically telling Violet that Daphne better get things rolling with the Duke for the notoriety and popularity it would provide her family.

So why tf are you inviting Berbrookes raggedy ass mama over for tea? This bitch. You can definitely see why her son is so fucked up.

Kippers on Rye. No ma'am.

Ahhhh Violet was fishing for a scandal to stop the Berbrooke marriage. Makes sense.

Well, mission accomplished. No thanks to Anthony.

Violet stays at his neck though.

I really don't like Marina being all confined.

Sisterly bonding maybe? Daphne dropping knowledge and optimism on Eloise.

Well shit, deflate that balloon.

*In My Blood (Instrumental) plays*

Aaaand she's back on the arm of the Duke.

Their chemistry is mind blowing. Like they could melt my screen just looking at each other.

"Call me by my name" because 'Call me by your Name' could never.

Gawd the way he says her name. That's it. I want Daphne to be my name now.

The intimacy of that bruised hand on her bare shoulder - ICONIC.

Lady Danbury knows all and jealous Simon has entered the room.

Not his evil ass daddy again.

Oh fuck Simon. Why would you make a promise like that?! Thats OBVIOUSLY coming back around on you. Who tf are you really hurting in avowing never to marry or have children?!

But the "Speak, you fucking monster," was everything. Full circle.

[hopesangelsprite]

Denny’s | JJK

Pairing: Waiter!Jungkook x Reader

Summary: (Y/N)’s bestie takes her for a birthday breakfast with a surprise!

If looks could kill, my bestie would be six feet under, and I would be behind bars. At the literal ass crack of dawn, this big fore headed thot had called to wish me a happy 18th birthday. The first thing on her “Bad Bitch Birthday Itinerary” was getting up at 6:00 am on the dot to get ready for breakfast at Denny’s two hours later. Usually, I would’ve declined immediately, but I had nothing else planned anyway. Besides, I got a distinct feeling that something amazing was going to happen today.

So, I pulled myself out of my warm bed, showered, and put on the outfit she’d bought me yesterday. I spent a good thirty minutes detangling and slicking back my 4a curls. Once I’d finished, she came and picked me up before hauling ass to Denny’s where my so-called ‘surprise’ awaited me.

Now I’m contemplating stabbing her with a plastic spoon as she rereads the menu for the fourth time. “Bitch, what are you doing? I know you’re stalling. Have you forgotten that we were born in the same hospital room?!”, I inquire while my glare deepens. She glances up briefly to flick her tongue out at me like a child. My eyes widen in disbelief before I growl out, “Candie Lashay Moore if you don’t start talking, I’m gonna stab you with a spoon!”. Candie looks up at me unfazed. “How the fuck you gon’ stab me with a spoon? A plastic one at that. Make it make sense, honey.”, she says before glancing back and quickly turning back around.

“Act natural. Be normal, hoe, don’t mess this up!”, she whispers threateningly causing my confusion to deepen. Suddenly, a tall shadow is cast over our table. “Welcome to Denny’s, ladies! I’m Jeon Jungkook, and I’ll be your server today! What can I get for you?”, a smooth and cheery male voice quips causing me to look up. Standing over our table is quite possibly the most handsome male I’ve ever laid eyes on.

He’s tall and muscular in build with a thin waist and thick thighs. His skin is lightly tanned, clear, and brighter than my future. His dark hair is parted revealing his forehead and a slit eyebrow. His doe eyes hold mischief, and his uneven but soft-looking lips are pulled into a slight smirk.

“Hi! We’ll be having two pancake breakfasts, please! Right, (Y/N)?”, Candie asks causing me to look away and nod. “Ok! Would you like them with sausage or bacon?”, he inquires whilst whipping out a small notebook to take our order. He sits it down on the table before leaning down and jotting down words. The sudden closeness brings a whiff of his cologne right into my face. It’s a mix of soft vanilla and masculine aftershave. “Sausage for both of them, right?”, Candie says bringing the servers attention to me. Upon the meeting of our eyes, he raises an eyebrow questioningly with a tilt of his head. I nod with wide eyes before glaring at Candie when he ducks his head down to write more.

“Alright! How do you like your eggs?”, he asks with a wider smirk at his seemingly accidental innuendo. “I’d like mine sunny side up, please! How ‘bout you, bestie?”, my soon to be dead best friend asks whilst feigning innocence. I shrug feeling a little surge of confidence. “I dunno. How do you like your eggs, Jungkook?”, I inquire with an innocent smile. He chuckles before his tongue flicks out across his lips. “Fertilized, but I’m not sure you’d want that. We’ve only just met, doll.”, he replies with a teasing lilt. The tiny amount of confidence I had vanished into thin air at his remark.

I clear my throat before squeaking out, “Scrambled will do just fine.”. He nods before jotting down the order and standing tall again. “I’ll be right out with your order in five minutes! Don’t miss me too much!”, he says with a wink in my direction before leaving in the direction of the kitchen.

*TIME SKIP TO AFTER BREAKFAST*

I sigh in contentment as I sip the last of my Sprite. The meal that I had just feasted on was probably the best one I’d have in a while. I look across from me to see Candie looking like the happy fat ass she is. “That shit was bussin’! We gotta come over here more.”, she says and begins rummaging through her Gucci bag. I remember the day she came overexcited and shouting about some hot blonde who’d bought it for her. Four weeks later she introduced me to Kim Taehyung, her brand-new boyfriend who happened to be the son of a wealthy fashion designer. I’d thought he’d be a snob, but he turned out to be one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met.

“Does Tae know you’re out here tryna hook me up with a stranger? He seemed set on introducing me to that boxer friend of his.”, I ask as I lean forward. Candie looks up, gives me a devious smirk, and continues to go through her bag until she pulls out the black card her boyfriend had given her. As if on cue, our hot waiter comes back. “How were your meals, ladies? I hope it was to your satisfaction!”, he says in that oh-so-smooth voice of his. Candie nods and slides him her card and the checkbook. He shakes his head lightly disrupting his dark curls. “No need! This one’s on me. I paid already, so you can’t say no.”, he informs with a cheeky smirk. “How can we repay you? You’ve been so nice to us!”, Candie inquires after wiggling her eyebrows at me.

“Hmmm… there’s not anything I want. Except for your pretty friends’ number.”, he says as his smirk grows. My heart thunders in my chest at his words. “Oh, so he tryna catch these feelings!”, I think as I watch Candie write my number on his notepad. “There we are! Thanks for the meal!”, Candie says as she finishes writing. “No problem! I’ll call you later on, doll. Ok?”, Jungkook asks causing me to nod in response. He smirks, winks for the umpteenth time, and walks away in the direction of another table. Instead of greeting them with cheery smiles, he gives a blank and very dry “Hello, Welcome to Denny’s.”.

I watch in awe causing Candie to roll her eyes and pull me out of my seat. “Come on, bitch! We got more stuff to do today.”, she says pulling me away after I’ve collected my things. Once we’re outside, a very familiar Mercedes Benz pulls into the parking space in front of us. The cars’ window rolls down to reveal a very cheery and familiar blonde. “Did it work, baby?”, Taehyung asks with hope in his voice. Candie nods excitedly before running over to kiss her boyfriend.

“Umm… what the hell is going on?”, I ask in utter confusion. Taehyung grins widely just as Candie had earlier. “Remember that boxer I told you I was going to set you up with. His name is Jeon Jungkook a.k.a that hot waiter that you just got hooked up with!”, he says. Suddenly, a strong arm comes to rest across my shoulder and a deep, familiar voice meets my ears.

“Change of plans, doll. My shift just ended, and you and I are gonna have some fun!”.

(A/N):

HI, y’all! Sorry it took me so long to add another story! This one was kinda random tbh. I got it from a pick up line abt fertilized eggs or sum...

Anyway! I hope u enjoyed this. Please like, share, and comment your thoughts!

[hazbincalifornia]

I've been itching to actually write this for a while. OT: T-minus half an hour.

Moxxie had seen a lot of strange things out of Blitzo since he'd first met the man. Him and Millie had rescued him from locking himself out of the IMP building in his underwear twice (neither of which got any kind of explanation besides 'fire' and 'son of a bitch had it coming'), had uncovered him hiding in a multitude of places in their apartment to stalk them (several of which were honestly quite impressive simply in how much he'd had to contorte his body to fit, not that it made it any less skin-crawling) and had witnessed him manage to somehow keep control of the strangest horse Moxxie had ever laid eyes on.

Still, coming in to work one morning to see him hacking up red vomit the consistency of honey was definitely up there, particularly because Blitzo hadn't been drunkenly hitting up either of them the way he usually did when he partied hard enough to be sick in the morning.

"Sir?" Moxxie set a hand on his shoulder, and Blitzo snapped out his arm, shoving him away.

"It's- I'm- f-fuck."

"You eat something nasty? There might be a bug goin' around," Millie offered. "I have some cough drops stored in Loona's desk."

Loona shifted in her chair, ear twitching. "I already offered those, he said they-"

"-Taste worse than this shit does," Blitzo finished. "Exactly. I feel better already, it must have been something I ate."

"Aw, you sure? You look a li'l bloated," Millie said, poking at his midsection and getting a yelp as Blitzo tried to yank his shirt down.

"No way! I am not!"

"What? It ain't by much," Millie said with a shrug. "You'll probably run it off in a couple days."

Coming in to Blitzo being sick wasn't particularly strange- Moxxie had heard him mention eating dumpster food once, what the fuck- but the odd consistency combined with the way his skintight shirt clung to his slightly bloated middle... Moxxie cleared his throat.

"Sir, have you considered... other possible causes?"

"Like what?" Blitzo raised an eyebrow. "Bad food seems pretty damn plausible to me."

"Don't make this into a thing," Loona said, flipping a page in her magazine.

"Well, you and his highness have... whatever it is that you have, could it be possible that you're..." He swallowed. "Oh, you know."

Blitzo stared for a moment before snorting out a laugh.

"Pffft, like hell. Come on, Moxx, you really think I'd want to get stuffed with his eggs or some shit? It's just business."

Moxxie huffed, crossing his arms. "I'm just trying to help, sir."

Millie sidled a little closer, bumping Blitzo's hip. "You didn't answer him. Has he-"

Blitzo held out a pointed finger. "Okay, look. Most of the time, I'm fuckin' him, alright?"

"Most?" Millie tilted her head with a grin and Blitzo groaned, dragging a hand down his face.

"It was just once, alright? It was like a month ago, I was drunk and wanted to go to poundtown and he was there, and fuck it, why not, right?" Oh. Oh no.

"Please tell me that you used protection," Moxxie said, and Blitzo narrowed his eyes.

"For your information, dad, he said it was fine. I think. Mostly I just remember my guts getting obliterated, honestly."

"Sir, you're thirty-six, you should know better than to believe that!" He turned to Loona. "We're going to the convenience store, please actually take the calls while we're gone."

"Sure," Loona replied with the same enthusiasm as he could expect from a stale cracker as Moxxie grabbed Blitzo's wrist- before the taller imp yanked his arm out of Moxxie's grip.

"Fine, if it'll get you off my ass, I'll go myself and you can look at a stick soaked in my piss until the cows come home, happy?"

He slammed the door behind him, and Moxxie groaned as he slumped down in the chair.

"This better be nothing."