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#TO MAKE TRIMMING POSTS EASIER FOR EVERYONE SO I HOPE THIS IS OKAY?
mythvoiced · 2 years
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@jeoseungsaja | the great beta editor pilgrimage
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How much longer can he resist, how much longer can he deny before the stranger's words become reality?
There's a ringing in his ears that isn't even truly there. It's... ghost-like, it's as though he's imagining it solely because he doesn't know how else he should be able to describe what's been stomping around in his mind.
Addressing the accident as a whole was a feat. He doesn't want to think about the helplessness he'd felt, the utter shame that reached him after whenever he thought on the sobbing that had burst through and out of him as if intent on lacerating his throat.
He doesn't want to think about the crying and the pleading and the way his heart beat fast enough it felt as though his chest was caving in, if it hadn't actually been. The shape of his leg and the white pain in it, the shrieking in his shoulder, the blood that belonged some to him, some to someone else.
He doesn't want to think about it because he'd rather it turn into as distant a memory as the faint whispering he sometimes tricks himself into believing had been there as well.
But if he heeds the stranger's words - and they sound like the warning he's been pushing away for so long, as if death itself had shown and is trying to help him look into the headlights of the truck speeding his way - then how much more can he do and for how much longer can he play this game before the noose around his neck tightens more than he can loosen it?
Before he finally slips?
Chul-soo presses his palms to his ears and shuts his eyes tight.
The other's features swim plastered onto the inside of his eyelids. The pale skin and the intrusive stare, the jolt away from his hand, as if he was a ghost Chul-soo wasn't allowed to touch, as if an hallucination that doesn't want him to know he isn't actually there.
And next to his unforgiving features, he sees the glow of unkempt black hair under moonlight and the vicious grip of ancient claws sticking into his flesh, unearthing his insides to plant him into soil that isn't his, that isn't him, that isn't him.
He doesn't understand that last part.
A name? A soul? A who?
"I don't know what to do," he shatters into a plea, his hands ripping from his ears to reach for the man's front instead, his eyes blown wide with the tears he's yet to shed from that rainy day.
He's let them slip onto the already wet street and refused to spill them ever since. And now they collect at the corners of his eyes and he pleas, like he's vowed to never do.
"I don't know what to do, what the fuck am I supposed to do-!?"
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pbandjesse · 2 years
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Today was a pretty good day. I am very worried about James. They are struggling tonight. But I hope they can sleep easier.
I slept alright last night. I woke up a few times but mostly I was alright. James left early and took an Uber to work because while we now know that the light rail doesn't run that early on Sundays, we now also know that the bus doesn't either??? It's crazy to me. Like people work on Sundays! People who need public transportation work on Sunday?? I'm glad James made it to work okay. And I appreciated the extra couple hours of sleep.
When I woke up I felt kind of bleh. My body feels weird. I feel a little weird. But I was alright.
I got washed and dressed. I had to change my shirt because the seams were bothering me. But I got a different one on and was much more comfortable and cozy. I would change again to add a layering tank top before I left. But I'm the end I was very comfortable.
I brought some snacks and headed to the museum. It was chilly today. But it was nice. A windy but beautiful day.
James was a little low. I didn't want to bother them much. They were just chilling at the front desk and watching the world cup. We rooted for Argentina. Who would end up winning so that was exciting.
The church was in Decker. I would go post up in the garment loft. I brought my quilting project and my sewing machine and honestly just had the best time.
I would spend the entire day working on this. I would make a few trips around the musuem to talk to guests. I even had someone from the church come back to the garment loft to talk about art and religion. He for sure was trying to convert me but no one is going to tell me something I don't already know. I think religion is incredibly human. Wanting meaning, purpose, to feel like everything matters, that they matter. And I think that's great that people find comfort in community.
But mostly I worked on my quilt. This is 300 squares. And I would the last 4 rows completed. The way I made this I did 30 sets of 10 and then sewed 3 10s together to have 10 30s. I trimmed those down so the panels would be more even. And then sewed that all together.
I worked from 10 until around 1at that point in the project. I had spoken to 10 or so people. Everyone was really nice.
And after a snack and giving James a lunch break (where they went across the street to check on the bike shop which has apparently been broken into and the police called James for some unknown reason???) I would start figuring out how to turn my quilted panel into a bag.
I think I'm going to try to make a bunch of bags. I used to love making bags and I know how to do a lot of things better now. And while it took a while to make the panel I love how the bag came together. It is such a good size and I can't wait to try to make more with the other quilt panels I've made.
Once the bag was made I started working on straps with some scrap fabric. My first strap came out so good. The second one has some flaws. But I'm still really excited about the whole thing.
Right at the end of the day as I'm attaching the second strap my needle broke. And I didn't have any extras. I was very bummed but at least it happened closer to 3.
We closed the museum. And once James was done counting their drawer we went to have dinner.
We were going to go to iron rooster but they closed at 3 so instead we went to Little Havana and it was so good!
We didn't talk a ton. I think we were both just beat. I did asl James football questions. They ordered a steak sandwich and I got a fancy avacado wanton roll that I loved. I told the waiter how I was excited to eat something interesting. I feel like I never get to eat something unusual but also really pretty. So that was really cool.
We finished our meal with a shared piece of cake. And headed out.
We had to stop at theater project to get James's laptop charger. My belly hurt and I really wanted to get home. And so James took me home as quick as they could.
When we got back here my new clogs came and they are perfect. I can't wait to wear them. I felt better being home. James would get in bed to finish editing their podcast. And I finished the strap on my bag.
We would hang out in bed for a while. And then go and go all of our advents we haven't checked for a few days. We have so much jam now. I'm excited to make cookies tomorrow hopefully.
I took a bath and watched a documentary. I pulled out my quilt fabrics to see how many bags I think I could make with what I have sitting around. I am excited to try that this week. It's a good project to focus on.
Now I am going to go put some more water in the fish tank so it'll be quieter. I just moved some pillows around to make James hopefully more comfy. And I'll start winding down for sleep soon.
I hope tomorrow is beautiful. And we can all feel good. Until next time everyone. Sleep well!!
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royalreef · 8 days
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@captainseamech inquired: After a long fight, the knight finally won despite the injuries in his thorn armor. He still went on, climbing the stairs of the room Miranda could possibly be in. He wasn't that worried about the others since there was an easy opening for them to escape in one of the walls. Grunting lowly to himself, he opened the door and looked at where they currently was, the same bright shine still present in his eyes. "Are you okay, princess? I'm here to rescue you."
They shift, placing body weight back down and against the hot pad as they do so, lifting their head up to turn towards the door.
Of course Miranda already heard him coming. They're very good at doing that — at listening in, when everyone else has deemed they shouldn't be able to hear something because they did not listen to Miranda when they explained their hearing, the sound, what it meant to their people, so on. It's easier for other people to then doubt the amount of what she heard, to attempt to hide in plain sight, to give Miranda things they could use when they saw fit.
But it's about the posture today. The posing, the insurance that they look proper and befitting of their title, befitting of what this story is supposed to be. Already their night gown serves as another functional piece to ensure this, their crown another, and maybe even the hot pad itself could assist in this. Make them look like a princess, laid out on a silver platter, flayed open as easily as an oyster for the prize to be taken inside, the assured price. The light blue veil, the seal fur trim at the edges, all just a pearlescent heart, frilly tissue, organs of the sea exposed to the air for the first time.
It doesn't feel right, no. There's some dissatisfying element, something that tickles at the back of their mind. Miranda's not quite sure what it is. They should be happy, shouldn't they? That would be the right thing. In fact, they are happy, because they deem it to be right, correct, and the feeling settles in deeper the more they paint over it, tell themselves to smile the pleasantly charmed and coyly disinterested smile of a princess found in the top of their tower, and stops asking questions about why any of this is.
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"Yes, yes," they confirm, voice light and tender, flowing gently over the stone of the castle. A voice like a princess aught to have, like all the storybooks say should be here, a voice like they were happy to be rescued and not like something horrible yet still was about to happen, that they had not yet paid the true price, not yet been properly trapped in their tower. "Merely... frazzled, my prince. It was a rough start. Not everyday I am captured and kidnapped away from my post, you understand."
Miranda does not get up, does not mention the pain that collects around their hips, their knees, spreads up and between their vertebrae like unpopped bubbles, pressure that builds and builds and they cannot dislodge. It would be improper. The pain was supposed to stop when they were taken away, when they were saved, when it was all supposed to go right.
"The fight here did not harm you, did it, my prince? I do hope it did not trouble you so."
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luxwritesfanfic · 3 years
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400 LUX
Sherlock wants to cut things off but the reader thinks he should really think it over. Or, the one where Sherlock isn’t one for saying “I love you”, but he has always offered you a sword. Thanks for reading!
Sherlock Holmes/Reader
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You could hear the water running in the bathroom as you slipped down the hall to make coffee, your phone in one hand pressed against your ear as Mary went on and on about all the things that you two needed to do today and the other hand held your shear kit that you barely used. It was a few days  before the wedding and things were in full swing for you as Mary’s bridesmaid and Sherlock as the best man. Mary, God bless her, was having a breakdown every other day and it was all you could do to not to set her off by picking the red velvet with buttercream over the vanilla cupcakes.
“— and we need to go by the florist today, too, and I probably should stop by and speak to the DJ... and John, he’s not worried about any of it! He’s asking for tea and biscuits as if I’m not already balancing the most important day of our lives!” Mary was talking at a mile a minute and as she continued the never ending list of tasks she had set for the two of you, you began situating all of your supplies to cut Sherlock’s hair. He had insisted you do it before the wedding, and not even your lack of experience was enough to convince him to just go to the shop with John. Sherlock’s hair was something he took very seriously so you were unsure as to why he’d even ask you to do this.
Speaking of the devil, you rounded the hallway and started for the bathroom.
“One second Mare.” She didn’t miss a beat and continued right on talking once you muted her, and you wondered if this is how John felt talking to Sherlock. Knocking on the door before walking in, you fought through the steam to find a comb on the counter.
“If we’re going to be in here at the same time, you might as well join me.” Sherlock’s head popped out from behind the shower curtain, his hair and face sudsed up and glistening from the water. The longer you realized you had actually been thinking about taking him up on his offer, the quicker you knew that you had to get back to your task at hand and get out of the line of fire. You pulled open some of the drawers and rummaged through them.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’d love that.” Hoping that the steam was thick enough to hide your growing blush, you turned back to the vanity and opened the mirror cabinet. “I need you to hurry up. Mary’s having a-“
“You would, too.” You could hear the smirk in his voice and that was enough to make you roll your eyes. Luckily for you, the mirror door was hiding your face from his prying eyes. Smug and darling as always, your man was. You snuck a peek at him and realized he’d moved back from the curtain and resumed washing his hair.
“Seriously, Mary will probably have a heart attack if I don’t leave within the hour. If you love me, five minutes.” You shut the cabinet and slipped out of the room to finally return to your phone call.
“Sorry M, I’ll be there as soon as I can. Sherlock is being Sherlock.”
“Now you’re really starting to sound like John. How’s his suit fit? Does he need any adjustments? That reminds me, I should call the tailor! Be a doll and bring something to eat on the way? Love you!” With that she hung up, leaving you in the dust trying to comprehend if she actually was speaking words or Simlish.
“Four minutes, fourteen seconds.”
You turned back to him while you gestured for him to sit down so you could wrap the towel around his shoulders. His hair was still pretty wet so you wouldn’t have to spray it much.
“What are you talking about?”
Sherlock only smiled to himself in response, and you figured he’d just moved on from that conversation already. Combing out small sections of his hair and clipping the rest up, you asked again.
“Are you sure you want me to do this? I really don’t mind going to your usual stylist with you. I don’t want to mess you up for the wedding.”
“Y/N, I told you already, if I’ve asked you to do it it’s because I want for you to do it. It’s only just a trim. Come on with it.
So you began at that, snipping away little by little. You had cut John’s hair for him a few times right before a date but his was much easier than Sherlock’s and it grew like a weed so even if you did mess up, his date could hardly tell. You told Sherlock all about your plans with Mary for the day and he seemed to be listening intently but you could tell his mind was wandering. You knew him better than you knew yourself.
Moving to stand in between his legs to trim his face framing pieces, you asked him about his plans for the day.
“Hm,” he started, resting his fingers tips lightly on your hips in front of him, tapping away as he thought out his answer. “Mycroft insists he has words for me, despite my telling him to keep them to himself, so I suppose I’ll be seeing him at some point. John is coming here to talk wedding...” which you were almost certain really meant a case, “and I want to tell Mrs. Hudson you’ve decided to give up your flat entirely to live here.”
You had just finished trimming his hair when he had said that and luckily so because you were sure you would have chopped off a lot more than needed being caught by surprise like that. Running your fingers through his hair to be sure you didn’t miss any sections, you contemplated what exactly was happening between you. You had never really brought up completely moving in even though it was true that you practically already did. You hadn’t slept in your own bed in months because you always chose the opportunity to sleep with Sherlock. Moving in seemed like a dream but you always had it in the back of your mind that one day Sherlock would have a change of heart and change his mind on whatever the two of you were, and you didn’t want to be without if that happened.
When he realized you still hadn’t replied to his request, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked up at you. “Is there really that much to think about? John said you’d say yes if I made it clear I was the one asking you to. Had I not done that?”
You couldn’t help but smile, because seriously, what could you have possibly done to deserve the opportunity to love someone as... well, Sherlock, as Sherlock. He was everything everyone said he was, but he had shown you willingly that he was also so much more. You’d choose the life with him, whether it was one of a house and kids and a white picket fence or if it was one that consisted of running around London in the rain because Sherlock swore he saw something suspicious and the only viable option was to run after it. You would choose him. Every single time.
Even with all of your declarations of love, you two had never said talked about the fact that you were definitely exclusively dating which often hindered a conversation of the future. You had told him you loved him more times than you could count but he had never said it back and you were okay with that. He didn’t have to reciprocate it for it to be true. But, it did leave room for doubt that this might not always be what Sherlock chooses.
You thought of all the ways you could bring it it up and realized that straightforwardly was the only way to go. You brought your hands from his hair to hold his face and rubbed your thumbs in slow circles and he relaxed on the spot. He was putty in your hands, as much as he hated to admit it.
“I just don’t want you to feel stuck with me. It’s a big step. And if it ends up making you miserable, I just- I don’t know. I don’t want to be the one to make you miserable.” Your voice was soft as you spoke and you realized that with Sherlock’s bangs being much shorter now, you got to see more of his pretty face. Although, currently, it was contorted as he worked through trying to comprehend what you were saying to him. Blinking away at you for what seemed like forever, Sherlock cleared his throat and took your hands from his face and into his own instead.
“I’m... not sure I understand. I don’t mean to be rude at your expense but if I wanted to leave you, I would. I could rather easily. Just as easily as you could leave me. But you won’t. And I won’t... I’ve tried to show you in all the ways I know how. So would it not make sense for us to live together?”
It slowly started making sense for you and you could slap yourself for being so blind. Sherlock had let you take the lead in a lot of aspects in his life recently that you couldn’t explain what for. He urged you to pick out the next case he would work, allowed you to pick out his new microscope (Y/N, they’re the same color. Pick one. I don’t know Sherlock! I feel like this one is cool grey and this one is light grey, it makes a difference!), and now you were cutting his hair, the most important part of his appearance from his point of view. He trusted you to make the right choice every time and there really was no right choice, your choice was the right choice.
You were pulled from your thoughts as you phone began to ring with Mary’s picture posted on the screen.
“Shit, I’m so late! She’s seriously going to kill me.” Your gaze drifted from your phone to Sherlock who surprisingly patiently awaiting your answer. “Tell Mrs. Hudson as soon as John gets back from holiday that you two will start moving my stuff over. And make a little space for me in your closet, okay? I need more than just a few drawers.”
Sherlock smiled at you like you like he did when you called him brilliant and that was your highest honor to date.
You expected the usual slick remark but he simply said, “You’ll have what you want. Mary will be calling again in about 30 seconds. You should really be hailing a taxi right about now.”
And there he was, the Sherlock you wouldn’t change for the world. You wished you had time to tell him to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine but alas, duty calls. You kiss him like you mean it- because you do, and rush off to your friend’s rescue but not without stopping in the doorway.
“I love you, Sherlock Holmes. But even more importantly than that, I trust you. I’ve had the time of my life fighting dragons with you and I’d happily spend the rest of my life doing it if you’d let me. It’s nice to know that you will. I just thought you’d like to know.”
Just like that, you turn his world upside down as you rush down the stairs, leaving him speechless. He thought his story was one that would be written about him and him alone and as sure as he used to be in that, he’d come to the realization that he was just as sure that two was better than one.
“And I, you.”
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buckysbabygorl · 3 years
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By Her Side (Peter Parker Fanfic)
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Authors Note: This was made by request of @lunarunreal I hope I you enjoy the fic; and I intend no offense if I misrepresented the situation. I wish you the best on your journey; stay strong ❤️
Pairing: Peter Parker x reader
Warnings: mention of hospital, cancer, chemo therapy symptoms, angst, hospitals
Summary: Y/N is undergoing treatment for cancer. While struggling to persevere, Peter stays by her side and encourages her. This was made by request of @lunarunreal​ I hope I you enjoy the fic; and I intend no offense if I misrepresented the situation. I wish you the best on your journey; stay strong ❤️ thank you to @babyblue-07​ for the creative help! Check out her page @babybluereads​ for fic recommendations! https://buckysbabygorl.tumblr.com/post/642078062396227584/hi-i-have-lymphoma-and-have-been-receiving
Word Count: 2,078
Today, just really, really fucking sucked.
Y/N laid in her bed, waiting for everyone to come back. Her parents had stepped out to the cafeteria with May; they’d missed lunch on account of the procedure, they wanted to make sure Y/N was feeling alright before they did anything else.
“I’m fine,” she said, “Go get something. I’ll be good for a bit.”
Hesitantly, they’d parted.
Her parents had been hovering, which she’d appreciated but sometimes it was all a little too much. Too overwhelming.
She didn’t know what she wanted anymore; when she had been diagnosed… it hadn’t been easy. Obviously.
It was tough on her mind, tough on her body. She was tired all of the time, she felt sick, she felt pain…
She didn’t know if having everyone around made her feel better or worse sometimes.
So right now she needed a second alone, just a moment to think.
A knock came on her door, and she looked up from her book.
“Hey,” she said, a soft smile on her lips.
Peter stood in the doorway, knuckle still pressed to the trim of the door frame. A half smile reflected hers, and he shuffled in.
“Hey, how’d it go?”
She sighed, “Fine, well as could be expected.”
He nodded, pulling the visitor’s chair up beside her bed, getting comfy as if it were his own home. That’s one of the things Y/N loved about Peter; he always felt like home.
They had always been close, growing up in the same apartment building for years, going to the same school. When Y/N’s parents were out and May and Ben used to babysit; and when the roles were reversed, of course her family would provide the same courtesy to Peter. After a while it was like they were family, and the two quickly became inseparable. They did everything together, and they were there through everything too. When Ben passed away, Y/N and her family made sure the Parker’s felt cared for and supported. And when Y/N was diagnosed, there was no doubt that the Parkers would be right there beside her. Especially Peter.
He was her best friend; he was her rock.
Yes she wanted to be alone; but the only exception for that was him.
Peter didn’t feel like another expectation to meet; another task to fulfill; one more thing she had to worry about… no.
Peter was easy; he was comfortable. Safety, home…
Sick… very sick.
“Oh shit,” She muttered, covering her mouth. Peter reacted immediately, grabbing the waste basket from beside the bed as she lurched forward. He caught her throw up just in time, and as she continued to retch into the bin he rubbed small circles on her back. He wanted to do more; but this was all he could manage. Reassurance, and being there when she needed it.
Puking or otherwise.
She sat back slowly, the action taking more energy out of her than she thought it would. He wiped a few stray hairs from her forehead, matted with sweat. He ran his thumb underneath her eye; she looked tired.
He wanted to make it go away; make it easier if he could. But he settled for caresses and smiles, it seemed to make her happier.
“Pete, can you grab the nurse for me?”
“Yeah of course.”
His hand dropped as he quickly scurried out; he waved down a nurse in the hall and smiled sadly as she stepped in. The door closed behind her, and Peter found himself leaning back against it. A long sigh escaping his lips; he surprised himself when he nearly found himself crying.
God, get a grip.
Nothing had happened but it felt like everything. He was frustrated; he hated that they couldn’t sit at the Thai restaurant like they used to, they didn’t beg the librarian to keep the place open for just a little bit longer. He wanted her to be healthy and happy; he wanted his Y/N back.
This thought almost made him cry more; she still was his Y/N, she was still her in every way. That beautiful, bright and strong woman he’d grown up with. He just knew this was hard for her, of course it was. And even though she was still that incredible woman; he knew she was losing hope.
He ran his hands through his hair, glancing around the hallway for an empty chair to wait in.
Alright, you know the side effects are hard. But she’s okay, she’ll be okay. Just let her rest, give her some space.
He plopped himself in his chair as a voice called for him.
“Hey kid.”
Peter turned his head to see Happy coming in his direction; snapping shut a flip cell phone.
Most people carried around normal phones, but Happy insisted on the dated technology for personal life calls and whatnot. Then again, expecting Happy to do something normal wasn’t really rational.
“Happy, what are you doing here?”
“I was around; wanted to stop by and check in.”
He nodded towards the closed door of Y/N’s designated room; “How’s she doing?”
Peter huffed, shaking his head.
“Today’s not really a good day; I think she just needs some rest.”
Happy nodded; it was to be expected. Not every day went by smoothly, but they had to take these bumps in the road to get Y/N back to the right place.
He didn’t really know what to say; he wasn’t always the best at reassurance. When it came to superheroes saving the world; sure. He could give them a quick jab, a motivating speech, get Tony’s or Peter’s head screwed on tight and send them back to the battlefield. But this wasn’t that; this was a scared kid with his best friend, and an uncertain future.
“Well, let me know if you need anything. I’m going to do everything I can to help; I’m here for you both.”
“Thank you, Happy”
He knew that something else was weighing on Peter; it was the drop in his shoulders, the tense biting of his inner cheek. Eyes somewhere else; yet nowhere.
May and Happy talked, of course. They’d been dating for quite sometime now; he had become her confidant and she, his. Happy knew how the kid felt for Y/N, they all did. It was no secret how they teased one another; how they kept to themselves; how they made sure to put time in their lives for one another.
May was worried; Peter had been wanting to say something for such a long time, she knew it. But now… she didn’t think he ever would.
“He probably thinks it’s selfish, knowing him. He never wants to…” she said to Happy, rubbing her hands nervously, “He never wants to be a burden.”
He wasn’t, of course. No one saw him that way; and Happy knew Y/N of all people would never think that.
He’d come to like the young girl; seeing her around the Parker apartment many times. She was an absolute delight; he couldn’t find a flaw in her. Maybe the need for independence; that fear Peter and her both shared, never wanting to be selfish, always thinking of someone else first.
But they both needed to be happy; and loving each other openly could be a step to that.
“And kid?”
Peter looked to him, waiting as Happy chose his words carefully.
“Don’t be afraid to tell her how you feel.”
Peter shook his head, “It’s not the right time Happy...”
“I know. But, someday it will be. You guys don’t have to start now, but when you feel ready and it feels right, don't hesitate kid.”
The nurse interrupted them, smiling as she waved to the young boy. “You can come in, she’s feeling better.”
He nodded, standing up beside Happy.
The older man nodded once more to the door, “You go ahead. I’ll wait for May.”
“Thanks Happy.”
Happy looked down at Peter, clasping a hand on his shoulder. “Anytime kid. I mean it.”
He smiled back at him, before slipping back into her room.
As he came in; he noticed how she wouldn’t look at him. The young girl looked to her lap, feeling the tears building.
“Y/N--what’s wrong?”
She looked up, choking back a sob. He saw it in her face; the anger, the sadness, the fatigue. Today just really fucking sucked.
“I can’t keep doing this,” she said, “I fucking hate it. I wanna go home.”
As she breathed out an exhausted cry, he rushed to her side. He pulled her into him; gentle but strong. She sobbed into his shoulder, as he mumbled reassurances into her ear.
“I’ve got you, it’s alright. Let it out…”
“I’m scared Peter; this is so hard—”
“Hey, hey. I know Y/N... I-I know it’s not easy. But you’re going to get through this. You’re the toughest person I know. And…”
He pulled away to look at her; he needed to see her when he spoke. He wanted to speak from his heart; for once he wasn’t scared to do so. As he stared into those beautiful eyes he’d found many moments of comfort in, the face he’d fallen so deeply in love with; he felt his mind begin to race. He wasn’t sure if what came next would make sense. But it would have to do.
“...Your life matters. Sometimes the things that matter most are... the hardest things we have to go through. So, for some reason you got dealt this. It’s not fair; but the fight is still worth it.”
As a tear rolled down his cheek, she reached up to wipe it away. He cupped her hand against his face as he looked into her eyes.
“Think about everything before this; think about all the memories we’ve had. Your family, everyone at school, every place you’ve been, every picture you’ve taken, every book you’ve read, every smile you’ve given—” He felt crazy; what was the point? What was he trying to say?
“All of those moments you’ve made, that you’ve had are beautiful. You’re so beautiful--so, so beautiful… there’s going to be so much more that you have to fight towards. I’m so proud of you for what you’ve done and how far you’ve come. You have to keep going; you have to keep trying. Your life means too much for you not to.”
He clutched her hands in his, holding her as if it was the only way his words would get across. Neither of them knew what would happen; but she knew she would fight, she knew that she had the love and support she needed to keep going. She knew that drive within her wouldn’t go away. Not when there was so much more for her moving forward.
“No matter what happens, I’ll be right here beside you.”
She nodded, she felt it. She felt his honesty; she knew his promise wasn’t only words. It was a bond; it was love… Tired, so tired…
He smiled sweetly, stopping himself from chuckling at her drowsiness. “Getting tired?”
“Mhm.” She mumbled.
He saddled up beside her, pulling her to him gently in the bed. They might get in trouble; but he didn’t really care. He wanted to be close to her; and she certainly was not opposed.
“TV on? He asked.
“Yeah,” she muttered, “Something stupid...”
As he grabbed the remote, clicking on the TV, he could’ve sworn a soft kiss was placed on his shoulder. His heart fluttered, but he let the moment pass as he sifted through the channels. Maybe it wouldn’t be today; or tomorrow. But someday, they wouldn’t be here. They’d be in each other's arms in another place, holding each other with sweet “I love you’s” breaking the silence. But tonight; she would fall asleep in his arms to the laugh track of a show neither of them could name; love unspoken, but prominent and indefinite. No matter what; he would be there. Always by her side.
~
Taglist: - @babyblue-07 @pinkdiamond1016 @fandomsfallnomore @elliee1497 @lonewolf471 @babybluereads @marianas-studyblr @godspeedlover @sexwithhiddlesbatch @annestine @shower-me-with-roses
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etraytin · 4 years
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Quarantine, Day 149
August 7
I've been too busy or distracted for the last few days to properly inundate you all with kitten pictures, but that ends now! You have been warned! Today I had lights and a fully charged phone and the will to use them, so you are going to feel the wrath of this fully armed and operational cat lady. I am also posting this during first dinnertime, so my background music is tiny Katara making improbably loud smacking noises while she eats babycat food mixed with warm water. 
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Clockwise from top left: Zuko, Sokka, Katara, Aang
Now that the kittens are debugged and down to about 30% of their original hissiness levels, they are ready for cuddle times. Zuko won the best cuddler award today by actually purring when I picked him up, so he is my current favorite. Sokka needs his nails trimmed very badly, Katara is picking up the hissing slack for her unacceptably trusting brothers, and Aang has finally started using the litterbox but cries when he poops. (This is not uncommon for kittens who are first learning to go unstimulated, but I'm going to keep an eye on him to make sure he's not constipated.)  Four weeks is a very fun age, so this should be a good kitten week, knock on wood. They are all eating well and don't need a bottle, which makes my life way easier. 
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Zuko and Aang
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Katara still thinks I might be planning on eating her. She is the size of my hand but will go down hissing all the same.
It is just as well that these guys are weaned because the MPRE snuck right up on me. I started studying a couple weeks ago, but there's always so much to do. BARBRI's MPRE study program is funny because it's basically a taste test of their bar review program for the 2L students who typically sit for the MPRE. It's set up exactly like the bar review course, but where the typical bar review lecture is 2-3 hours, these lectures are about 15-20 minutes and each one covers a discrete subtopic of professional responsibility. Altogether, they are maybe just a little bit longer than the professional responsibility lecture I listened to for the bar review back in February. (Many states do not include PR on their bar exam at all because of the MPRE, but Virginia has more testable subjects than any other state and throws that one in as well, so I got a module on it.) In any case, I have been listening to these little bite sized lectures and doing the learning questions, then looking at the outline, then moving on. I plan to have all the modules done by tomorrow, then spend the weekend doing the three practice tests, sixty questions each. All three practice tests together are not as long as the bar exam practice test! I keep reminding myself that even though the subject matter is limited and I've covered the material many times before, I have to take it seriously. It would be both inconvenient and extremely embarrassing to pass the bar exam and fail the fucking MPRE at this late date. I'm also going to have to take at least one of those practice tests with a mask on, bleah. 
Ha, I have successfully tricked the kittens out of sleeping in their yucky litterbox (they are too young for nice clumping litter because they might eat it) by offering them a decoy litterbox with a towel in it. Cats do love boxes! 
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(Sokka is behind the box, he is so fuzzy I cannot get him in focus for a solo picture.)
The kiddo and I went to the library today for the first time since March! It only opened on Wednesday and there were very few people there, but they'd arranged it so there's lots of open space and a counter right by the front where a friendly guy offered us hand sanitizer and reminded us about social distance. We were finally able to turn in March's library books, which had fine amnesty thank God, and snagged some new stuff. I wasn't feeling creative so I took advantage of the lack of patrons to snag a couple of newer Nora Roberts books, the kind that are usually hard to get hold of. I read a funny meme the other day of "2020 As Described by Nora Roberts Books" that showed Happily Ever After for January, Storm Warning for February, and then seven copies of Shelter In Place for March through August. The kiddo got a couple of graphic novels and also picked out two books with no pictures at all after I promised I'd get him a magnifying glass if he wanted it. Kiddo is farsighted and has glasses to read, but he may need a new prescription. I should get on that. 
Okay, knowing myself as I do, I took a brief break there to order some cheap little sheet magnifiers off Amazon because I try to keep my promises. It is hard when you are very forgetful, but I try! Not too much else to report today, oh, except I went into my primary doctor's office for the first time in many months. It was for a heat rash, of all things, but I just couldn't get it to go away! I could probably have done it online, but when it's a rash it's kind of easier to just go in there than to try and find the right light and the phone with the best camera, and this way I don't have a lot of weird pictures of my armpit for posterity. She gave me a steroid cream prescription and it is starting to feel better already. 
While I was getting the prescription filled, I got way, way too excited about the electronics clearance at Rite Aid and bought fifty dollars worth of stuff. (By Rite Aid's calculation it was 200 dollars worth of stuff because I spent 50 and saved 150, but you know how their prices are.) In any case, I got two wall chargers and a car charger, two sets of earbuds, a stereo headset with microphone  for virtual school, and the piece de resistance, a waterproof Bluetooth speaker that also has a multicolored light display. The kiddo is in love already and I hope it encourages him to more frequent showering. My 50 also bought me some melatonin gummies, some multivitamin gummies, a bag of chocolate snacky stuff, and two packs of Magic: the Gathering decks that the kiddo was distinctly underwhelmed by. He likes Pokemon cards so much despite not having the first idea how to play, I thought these might be good too. I'll set them aside in case he gets interested later. I am pretty sure that four dollars apiece is not bad for 60 card decks, even if they are planeswalker themed. Anyway it was a nice haul and now I can stop bitching at everyone and no-one every time I can't find a wall charger to plug into. A small price to pay for peace of mind! (And the cream itself cost $2.19, so at least I can feel a little good about our truly exorbitant health insurance this week.) 
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Who wouldn’t believe this guy can save the world? 
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Brain is tv static with random frames interspersed
Think I'm like. Really stressed and jumping between topics to try and find something that helps / feels good
Topics:
Anyone know a good health tracking app for adhd people? I want one that like pops up when you open your phone, maybe? But is unobtrusive. Like maybe you just rate your mood or whatever when you open your phone, and it closes, and you go about your business. I just hate every app and paper method I've tried but really want to track some stuff
Pigeon. ? Pigeon as pet?
Service animals re: cats, pigeons, my cat specifically, and then also ESAs and also what to use as treats while training my cat (he's pretty happy to learn behaviors with praise and pets as reinforcement, but treats would make everything move much faster, but I haven't found something I want to give him so we've just been y'know. Chillin)
Service animals re: what tasks can my pet potentially do that would help me? I don't really know a lot about service animals and there is a Huge range. If anyone has suggestions, or places to read about it, I'd appreciate it! Mostly thinking they may help with anxiety, sensory, and mobility/fatigue related stuff. Not much of a need for medical alerts.
Bioactive enclosures for my snakes, need to research their biomes and make progress on designs and equipment specifications
Also. Hit a seriously hard patch and haven't been handling them much at all this month so that's not great
Casting stuff. Saw jewelry today made of metal casts of claws, skulls, etc, and they were really well done and made me want to do that
Some taxidermy / vulture culture stuff I won't get into right now
Puzzles????
How to organize my room
Need a shower
Need to organize bathroom
So Much Schoolwork
Uhhhhh trying, but not making much headway, to figure out how I want to do my music collection. Also really need to clean my records..
Make?
Food??? Ew.
Dental hygiene ://
Plampts. So many. Houseplants need maintenance, many need repotting. Keep taking in people's problem plants and like, they're doing better, largely, after being trimmed and watered and whatnot, but need repotting. Also need to trim some aquarium plants.
Also need to put water in tanks. And spray nepenthes.
Laundry.
Gotta pick up trash in my room. There's so much. Everywhere. Why.
Schoolwork. I'm so behind. So, so stuck. Kind of feel like I'm dying.
Going on a picnic tomorrow. Have to figure out what still needs doing for that, probably need to go to the store.
Leo needs water. I'm so....ugh, I'm trying so hard, but it feels impossible. I do my best to take good care of my pets, and I think they live pretty good lives most of the time, but sometimes I get like This and completely drop off the face of the earth and then like, wake up or whatever and two weeks have passed by and I have not cleaned a water bowl! That's a serious problem!!!! I do not know how to combat that, really, besides more reminders. Having someone around who is willing to like, help, when things are especially hard, would be great, but I don't live with my partner right now and do not feel like I can ask anyone here for that. But I can't put my animals at risk. I check on them every day, and if their bowls are dirty I do take them out and clean them, but sometimes (like now) i cannot get myself to do it without a pressure like a dirty bowl, or a feeding day. And like, it's really important that they have clean water. I'm talking to myself here but like, if anyone has advice. Please. With the tank redesigns and upgrades, the bowls will be more accessible, which will help because one of them is very heavy at the angle I have to pick it up, and another requires moving a lot of branches and is best to take out while the snake is out (this is Leo) which is fine because I love my boy, but adds time to the process, and makes it harder to start, you know? Maybe if I just got more bowls - I could take the bowl out and immediately replace it, fill the new one, and replace the decor and snake, and then clean the bowl as a separate task? That would be easier for my brain. Currently I have a Specific bowl I prefer to use for each tank, and then everything else is Just In Case, but I mean. Acquiring extras is something I want to do anyway, and it may help with several problems, so. Yeah. I'll try that. But also, any other ideas, guys?
Anxiety: can't stop picking at my face, skin, nails, cuticles, scalp, pretty much everywhere with callouses, also scratched a mole off my face, which is something I've been trying Not to do for a while, so that's...not great. Can't find my earmuffs, and also all of my headphones are painful? Ears are really sensitive lately.
Been playing a lot of Moth Game (flutter: starlight if you wanna be friends say hey I don't know how to do it but would enjoy talking about moths if nothing else. The game is just like, an idle ish collecting game with cutesy versions of different species, and very little actual information, but it's still fun, and if anyone else is on there and also Into Moths like I am, hiiiii) and like it's fun and cute but also greatly impacting my productivity, and raises my stress levels during events, which is most days, so the game has. Not been helping. But I can't stop because then I'll miss Exclusive Moths.
Anyway. Had baklava and two mugs of Thai tea today and the sugar has made me nauseous.
Trying to journal. Hurts to write. Also takes too long. Also my handwriting is very bad. But typing is..not as good
Want to draw. Thinking about drawing cats
Plants again! Want to make seed bombs, have seeds, have most of the other ingredients, just need to put em together, basically.
Really sad :(
Or am I?
Weird noise coming from dining room?
Birds. Spent half an hour at least on the deck tonight listening to a hundred different bird calls (literally) to identify one I was hearing, it was a pine siskin, which I checked early on but the recording was bad and I didn't realize which call was identified. Anyway, cool to put a name to a face, so to speak.
Need to practice for ASL
So much.....to do...
Only had like >3 hours of work this week which was not great because money, but also like I'm really feeling those 3 hours....
My cat is basically refusing to come into my room? Which is very strange and I'm worried something is Off but cannot figure out what. Also means less cuddles which means I'm sad.
It feels strange whenever people follow me, the attention is nice but I have no idea what content y'all are here for. So to everyone: hi, enjoy, hope my random personal posts aren't a surprise to anyone who followed for like. News reblogs and informational stuff.
Do I even have it in me to..be successful in school? Should I drop out of college? I'm struggling really hard and do not feel like I'm building on the skills I need to continue, so like. Uh.
My dad is being. Abrasive.
Mom and grandma are very angry lately
Housemate is also angry, about things i thought we were on good terms about, so I am stressed because like,, are we okay?
Can't find my eye mask :(
Yoga? Like...restorative yoga? Need to track down my PT stuff. And. Do it.
Need to put the stickers on my license plates....oops...
Still haven't found my antidepressants! Yay!
Do I want to store my stuff in open bins, or with lids? Which stuff needs spill protection and stacking capability and which stuff needs easy access?
How to earn money without..chaos
Gotta go to the pet store tomorrow. Have to compile my list of pet store items i need. Uhhhhhhhhhh
Also I have an essay due tomorrow that I've barely started. So. Wooooooo
Kt tape for supporting arches / inner ankles? I keep messing up my ankles, and part of it is walking wrong because I don't have the energy to engage the muscles in my feet/legs right to like, avoid injury, and part of it is I just need new shoes inserts. But i wear slippers a lot and they do not have arch support and it hurts. PT to help with this also but Where Is It
Family can't seem to get dish soap I can use, so I've just been having to avoid washing anything by hand, or being in the general kitchen area while anyone uses the stuff, which has led to more of my dishes sitting out, and more conflict over dishes. Lovely.
How hard is it for parents to learn they have to respect boundaries? Very hard, apparently. And you're supposed to just sort of remind people, and explain, over and over and over but like at this point my self worth is actually pretty good and the lifetime of proof that they do not want to listen? That's making me want to stop trying. Like, if you're not going to respect my boundaries I'm just not going to involve you in my life. I'm not talking to my dad right now because of this. Maybe I'll decide to lay things out to him, again and again and again again, maybe not. And I'm comfortable saying that's on him.
How to drink water
Am I dehydrated or are my hands just completely callous now. My fingertips have such hard skin. Why? It's uncomfortable. This is part of why I've been biting them.
Also testosterone. Been having a lot of trouble doing my shots, because anxiety and physical freakouts, but also not feeling super urgent about it. Which I'm realizing may be a sign i need to look at the effects so far and the possible effects of continuing, and see what they make me feel. It's possible I'm where I want to be as far as T, and don't really want to stay on it. A big thing for me is a deeper voice, so it seems time to take a look at whether I like my voice where it is or want to see if it'll drop any more. Etc etc
Miss my lil sisters
Saw a lot of cool rocks today. Huge (like hand sized) ammonite for $28. May go back and buy one because. Wow.
Want to plant food plants
Also my natives. Whole garden plot standing empty with a bunch of stuff waiting in nursery pots, needing to go in the ground. Because I can't get out of bed. Love that. Stuff is dying out there, I'm dying in here, there's a poetry to it and I do not want to romanticize suffering so I will say this: I brought a Bucket full of moss home a month ago and planted it and now go outside sometimes to drench my moss and it is very rewarding because the stuff is just so green. Incredible. When the rest of my plants are finally in the ground, that feeling will only intensify. But, for now, the moss is very nice.
Made a glow in the dark bead lizard from memory during therapy yesterday, and I love him. Also, still struggling with bringing up autism and psychosis topics with my therapist. Still very worried about. Things. Would like to get a new person? But sometimes she is helpful? And we have a routine. It's very hard to break the routine. Maybe I can set some time aside during the summer, to figure out what to do there.
Term ends in a couple weeks. The task of catching up, of passing, seems impossible. I really need to pass my courses. I'm on academic warning, because my GPA is lower than it should be, and if I can pass all of my classes this term I can get off academic warning but otherwise I'm not sure what will happen to my financial aid.
My phone is playing the same 50-100 songs on shuffle and I don't even particularly like most of them and it is very strange
Got my face wipes! Hooray, i can wash my face again
Been eating too much sugar in general. It's making my joints hurt more, and the nausea
Pet a dog the other day. I miss that. It would be really nice to have a dog in the house again. The exuberance, the cuddles, the tail wagging, the walks... I'd really like that. Maybe once I'm out in my room, tanks and catio built and everyone is situated, I'll look into getting a dog instead of a cat next. Was planning on holding off in case I'm not physically able to take them out on walks and such, but I've been pretty successful at doing this job, and I think that my main hurdle for walking really is motivation. Dog walking is a strong motivator for me. Best to start by fostering, or just do Wag, for a while though. I'm feeling overwhelmed with my current responsibilities, and here I am talking about getting a dog. Good job, me
How do you get wax off of somewhat water soluble rocks? My housemate broke my lava lamp on some of my rock collection and I am not sure how to get some of them clean without damage.
I am...pretty sure there are collared doves nesting over my room but it seems they're less common around here than I thought? But they are..pretty distinctive. Like if I'm wrong, what are those birds. Some very distinctly colored feral pigeons? Who are nesting here, in a tree, without their flock, and who happen to have pretty much the exact same pattern?
Probably should go to the dollar store and get some bins for organizing
Been wanting to keep a bin by the door and stock it with stim/fidget stuff people can just .have ..like extras of some of my favorites and other things i can get ahold of, to offer to my friends who haven't really had the chance to explore the world of stim toys
Hands are really just not doing great the last several weeks. Arthritis type pain cropping up more and more in all the little joints, making it hurt more to write, type, or just use them for whatever. Coordination isn't great because of that distraction, and because my hands/arms are slow to respond and kinda weak. Most people would say I'm not using them enough but I've been doing 15ish hours of manual labor per week, so maybe it's the other direction? More water would help. If only it wasn't so heavy.
I haven't taken a single shower since I started my job. Which was March 29th. That's not great.
Practiced parallel parking today. 10/10 still very bad at it.
Having anxiety that my friends think I'm lying about things, faking, and are watching me to see if I'll slip up. So that sucks. Can either talk about that directly or indirectly, or just shut up about those things until I can get my brain under control again. I'm not sure right now if the reassurance would work as a reality check or make me believe it more, right now, so might hold off on the talking bit for a little while.
Saw, smelled, picked a couple pretty roses. Good times
At this point I'm just trying to list all my thoughts so that maybe I'll be able to sleep and not worry I'll forget
My mom has put her spider plant on the deck, and it has maybe five living leaves. I have no idea how she killed such a well established spider plant, the last time I saw it it was so happy. Did she stick it in a corner and forget to water it? Whatever happened, it is now in the Plant ER, so hopefully I'll be able to...help get it on the up and up again
Leo is such a pretty noodle. He's so pretty. He's posing. Hi, baby boy.
Oh, he saw me moving around and decided to come say hi. Sorry little man, i did not mean to disturb you. Please resume lounging. I can't bring you out right now, I'm trying to sleep.
Also, terrariums. Water features. Need to ask. Someone. The one who was making that super cool garter snake enclosure and blogging the progress? With the lazy river and pool? About maintenance on that kind of setup. My milk snake really enjoys water, and I'd love to put a water feature in his tank. But I'm unclear on how to keep it clean, or honestly where to start. Don't want any huge falls or anything, though it actually may not make the humidity too high if I did maybe a small drip wall into the pool? That seems like something he would enjoy, and a good way to support different types of plants. But like, that's the thing, it's bioactive and I haven't done that before and no amount of research is ever enough.
Oh, Shogun has a dirt hat. How cute. I love when they do that
See, this is the thing. My snakes make me so happy. All three of them are actually hanging out where I can see them from my bed right now, and it's really nice. I want their lives to be the best possible, and I think I have the resources to do that. Which is so exciting. Now if only my brain and body would cooperate. It would hurt quite a lot to have to re-home any of them, but the most important thing is their health and quality of life, you know? If I can't get my act together somewhat, it may be that one or all of them would be better off with another keeper. I don't know. It's just, i talk about all these tank ideas and all this husbandry standards stuff but how much of it actually gets applied to my own animals whose lives are in my hands? How well am I caring for them, really?
Oh!!! My red thread! I thought that was gone forever.
Anyway, please do not worry. My snakes are healthy. I pay attention, and watch for signs of illness, and they're okay. There will always be places to improve, and the water is a big one, but most of the time i change their water out frequently, I'm just worried because of bad depression and fatigue times, you know? I'm working on making the most self sustaining systems i can, in part so that I am sure they'll be okay if I mess up sometimes. Just saying this because I hope you guys don't feel like you need to worry about the welfare of my pets. They're okay, i just always want better for them, is all.
Anyway, the sun is coming up and I should probably go to sleep. So uh, thanks for reading, if you read all of this randomness, and if anyone has thoughts or advice on anything in this post, i would welcome it! Good night!
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kirstinmaldonado · 4 years
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CHAPTER ELEVEN 2.0
I got the bamboo in my backyard trimmed yesterday, like the proper adult I am. Though it’s now lost that unkept, tropical, “we could be anywhere” vibe (ya know with my suuuuper cool inflatable pool and all that staycation “make the most of it” stuff…), I’m happy that it looks cleaner overall and clears the power lines that it was getting dangerously close to..
Yet in a way, it feels bittersweet! Sweet to premeditate issues and be on the safe side, but bitter to snip away bits of its voice. Within the past few weeks, the unbridled bamboo would whistle and screech in the wind as if weeping for the bloodshed and violence that I’d also been weeping over for days. I’d lie awake at night, desperately trying to empty my brain that was already filled to the brim, but just couldn’t rest while nature literally knocked on my door.
On one of those windier nights the bamboo tapped on my bedroom window, firstly scaring the shit out of me, as if trying to lure me outside whispering secrets. My brain was an absolute mess trying to compartmentalize my thoughts and feelings amidst everything going on. The sound of its erratic movement stirred my anxiety, and I sat alone in the dark trying to decompress, but kind of nervous of its foreboding presence. I felt like a child, hearing and seeing shadows in the night. I even joked to the very asleep Ben that the wind sounded truly angry, for it wasn’t a peaceful sigh like bamboo so often does but harsh, abrupt shrieks demanding attention.
Well, Nature, you got me! I hear you!
A few days ago I walked through not one, but four different plant nurseries. Laugh if you want, but the Nursery Crawl starting at 11am was not on my to-do for that day, and no did not involve any adult beverage. I was so happy to be amongst the innocence of nature, the stillness, the beauty. 
Although I left the good boys alone longer than they’ve been used to since quarantine, I had to get out of my house and the consistent circling of helicopters. My house didn’t feel right. My backyard didn’t feel right. Nothing familiar felt right and I didn’t want to run away, but I just needed a moment to really clear my head in a space that felt unadulterated and open.
The flowers, the succulents, the trees, even the little peaceful water machines grounded me back from reeling. I walked aimlessly through the gardens, picking whatever sparked my eye, asking questions, and laughably came home with a car packed full of plants!
I’ll admit, I’ve barely been able to keep a Chia Pet alive in the past and I’ve accidentally killed anything and everything that doesn’t make noise (aka I don’t have a natural green thumb). Give me a succulent, I’m too overbearing and nervous and overwater it. Give me a plant, I forget to water her enough!  
This time is different though, you guys! I’ve obviously been doing my research and trying to re-home and love on them in the best way possible, and of course anything is easier to look after if you’re around and literally home in one place, but it also just feels so good to pour love in to something and watch it grow. I’ve even been propagating (I want you all to look that up because I had no idea what it meant a few weeks ago, haha)!
The patience and nurture it takes, the excitement when you see it root, is as lame as it sounds SO COOL. Nature is insanely beautiful and fascinating. If one would just take the time to listen, to nurture, to understand we could reap the benefits synonymously, without one taking advantage of the other. I think the best thing I’ve found in quarantine is that I want to be using and connecting with my hands: growing, cooking, painting, writing, creating. Being one hundred percent involved in the work I am putting out. CONNECTING with the work I am doing.
The past few weeks, this whole quarantine, as you know have been transformative. I feel like I’ve been shedding skin of old habits, of past hurt, of feelings or situations that I brushed aside that I am just now uncovering and understanding their brevity. Noticing scars of old burns I’d rather kept forgotten.
I feel like I was hurt and demoralized for years, so draped myself in a safety blanket of contentment, cruising happily and not pushing any major button because I was tired of conflict, anger, hate, and fear. I was blessed and happy thinking how a thousand horrible situations turned out a-okay, even brought the most amazing people in to my life, and that I was better and happy for it. I preached to be bright and positive, but was preaching it in hopes I’d latch on and the positivity would give me strength to face my days. I could wear my silence like a badge of honor, and thank the heavens that I somehow held it together.
I don’t want to be silent anymore.
I can’t, anymore.
By saying that, I also don’t intend to be irrationally brash and I’d never want to step over voices that should be lifted to be heard not spoken over. 
By saying this, I just mean I don’t want to wear my safety blanket anymore. I’m not afraid to stand up for what I believe is right. I think back a few years to the music and distant voices that soothed my soul (shoutout to my queen, Sara B). I remember in my darkest times wishing I could put in to words how I felt, the quiver of my tiny voice as I tried to stand up for myself, and wishing that someone would have just stood up for me.
That’s all I needed. An ally. A real one. Someone to be on my side. Someone to see I was suffering, and unjustly, and even at bare minimum just notice. Just open their eyes, and SEE and try to do something about it.
Again, if you really truly see, and don’t try to close your eyes, how can you sleep knowing what you saw? How can you make cruelty in any form okay?
So...has my voice gotten louder? Yes.
Has it gotten stronger? Yes.
Have I lost thousands of followers, after posts saying people should be judged on the caliber of their heart and not the color of their skin and that everyone should grow up being accepted and loved? Yes.
And I don’t care. It’s a shame, but if the above is something you don’t believe, I may be the wrong person to pour your attention in to anyway. That is said with all the love in the world.
Maybe it’s just all the La Casa de Papel I’ve been watching. Maybe it’s seeing everything with my new eyes. Maybe I’ve just been comfortably sleeping and praying that I can live in a world without conflict, knowing very well in my core that although I’d never intend to incite, I can’t brush off the bad like it doesn’t exist.
My past has made me stronger, my platform makes me accessible, so I must try to plant little seeds of goodness along the way and do everything I can as an ally for people’s rights to live, love, and be accepted for who they are. I am not perfect. I never will be. I believe I express myself well, but I’m listening and learning every day and will continue to do so. All I know is this.
I will stand by you when you are feeling down or oppressed, because you and everyone deserves to be treated with respect and love.
Yes, you.
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painted-crow · 3 years
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Submission Time #12
Another submission from me! I’d meant to put in answers from the quiz… or really, my perpetual arguments with the quiz. But then I got distracted by writing out my thoughts and forgot to do that.
Oof, I’m afraid I don’t know who you are just from this–you sent it in with anonymous on! Hopefully that’s okay.
I get different answers from the quiz at different times. Last time I took it in earnest, stoned out of my mind, I came up Snake/Snake. This time I intentionally hatstalled to get as many questions as I could.
If this is too many words on top of too many words… I am sorry.
I see that lol! I appreciate that there is no lack of information here 😉
However, this post as it came in was VERY long, even by my standards, and for the sake of readability I've done 2 things:
1) Switched to desktop long enough to put in a cut. It broke the blue color I usually put over my replies in order to make these easier to skim, but I'm not putting it back because it's kind of a huge pain to redo.
2) Trimmed out some of the question/answer pairs. You have plenty, so although I read them all, I just kept those I deemed most relevant. I also skipped a few where my responses would have been repetitive. Just an editing decision I hope you'll be okay with.
That said, let's get on with the Sorting.
Primaries
• If people in your family or community disagree with you, is it hard to act against their wishes?
I’m not sure that I have a community, but yeah, if my SOs think something is a bad idea, I’ll listen and consider. I’m more likely to be the person disagreeing with and trying to convince someone else, though. Also, sometimes it’s plain easier to go along with things to keep life smooth. But if it was something important… I think I’d have to go with what I think is right, regardless of disagreement. I’ll listen to others, maybe I’ll change my mind, but I won’t not do a thing JUST because of the disapproval of my family.
Suggests internal primary, Lion or Snake.
• What’s your top priority?
I kind of hate this one because I want to answer all three. I want to make the world a better place for the sake of me and mine, and that’s one of my goals. Not one I imagine I can accomplish, but it’s something that matters. My kid will probably see a pretty rough world in the future and I wish I could do something to alter that, beyond trying to be an ethical consumer as much as I can.
This answer feels very grounded and practical. I want to say it feels Liony, partly out of process of elimination but mostly because it just does.
• When you’re making a decision and you’re stuck, what should you do?
Idk, panic? No, not really. I seek advice if relevant, don’t if not, seek out any information I can, think about it… make a decision… and proceed to worry about that decision for the next millenia because what if it wasn’t the right one? I usually go with my my gut choice but 1) sometimes I have to go hunting for that, and by sometimes I mean a lot, and 2) I still research the hell out of it.
The way you’ve answered this says more about your secondary than your primary, imo. You might be a Bird secondary.
• Do you listen to your intuition?
I’d like to, but I don’t trust it. I’m too afraid of everything.
Ooh, interesting. It’s worth noting, people who write to me are often Burned at least somewhat, because Burned Houses are always harder to sort; everyone reacts differently to trauma and comes up with different coping mechanisms. Wonder if you’re an at least somewhat Burned Lion who’s pivoted into Snake, perhaps because it fit with your old value set.
• Someone points out a flaw in your logic. Their argument makes sense, but there’s something about it that just bothers you. Do you change your ways because of what they said?
This one always bothers me. It’s not a thing that happens to me often, but I can’t understand not changing your mind in this situation. If someone points out that you’re wrong… well… you’d better go look into that, hadn’t you? Maybe because I’m constantly seeking to understand myself, and I don’t and that frustrates me, but… I don’t know. I agree with and disagree with all the answers.
This seems Bird at first glance, but it seems you’re too conflicted about it to be straight up unburned Bird (and Burned Birds are usually easier to spot because they tend to be wrapped up in the problem/s they’re struggling with). You might have a model or performance, too early to say.
That line about being frustrated that you don’t understand yourself is also a good hint toward an Idealist primary.
• Does disagreeing with your closest friends about something important to you make you love them less?
No, but I might think less of them, and I will probably argue my points at them in the future. Sometimes I change their mind, sometimes they change mine. I turned my SO into a social liberal, he caused me to adjust my stance on gun control. There’s always give and take.
Sounds healthy. That model’s sounding a bit more likely here. I’d be very curious if you turned out to be a burned Lion who actually had a healthy Bird model–that would be rare o.o
• What if everyone you loved left you? They betrayed you, abandoned you, or died, and you’re hurting. What keeps you moving forward?
This question makes me want to tear my hair out, because those are all different things.
If everyone I loved died, I would probably have a massive breakdown, spend a year laying in bed, and then use whatever money I inherited or insurance payouts I got to go try and live the life I’ve always vaguely wanted, traveling. I wouldn’t seek out relationships but I imagine I would, eventually, form new connections. It would hurt, but I would rebuild.
If they abandoned me, or betrayed me, which is… kind of the same, I guess, because abandoning me without cause is a betrayal… well, I would probably be confused, and angry, and curl into a ball and want to die, and then turn into a lifelong curmudgeon the likes of which I swore I’d never be. It would hurt, and I would probably be loathe to trust again.
This doesn’t feel Loyalist, at least.
• What if you realized that absolutely everything you thought was true was wrong? The authorities you’d trusted, the beliefs you’d held, the wrongs you’d fought against?
Another that trips me up. I doubt someone is ever going to convince me that punching down, bullying, or causing unwarranted harm is good. I don’t trust any authority without cause anyway, and I trust no authority to be right on every topic. I trust NASA about space but I’d be more interested in what the forestry service has to say about ecology, in a silly example. I’m not religious so I don’t have any authorities there. My parents were authorities once but it turns out they’re human and sometimes wrong, so…. I feel like I don’t know how to answer this question, because I can’t fathom what someone could tell or convince me of that would be that kind of a gut punch?
So, you don’t really have a system per se, but you do have a set of core ideals. You could call this a Bird model (and… a really healthy one if it is?) or you could call it partially unburned Lion.
• You can’t help everyone in the world who needs it, but you wish you could.
Nah, it would be nice to help everyone and I’m down to eat the rich and redistribute wealth and I firmly believe the point and purpose of society is to care for its populace, so definitely the world should be designed better to make sure everyone has a fair chance at what they want…but it’s not my responsibility to fix it for everybody, nor am I capable of it. I can do a small part, and I try to, but I’m not the savior of humanity.
I think we’ve established you’re not a Badger, although Badgers don’t always fall into this trap.
• You’ve changed your mind about an old belief or moral stricture that you used to value. You got new information and you’ve tried to update your way of thinking, and you think (hope?) you’re a better person for it. Do you feel guilty about the old belief you’ve abandoned?
Do I feel guilty for abandoning it? Not if I realized it was wrong! Do I feel guilty for having had the belief? Sometimes. I was raised in an unthinkingly classist household, and I still feel bad about my instinctive assumptions about people. I’ve worked on it a lot and unpacked a lot of shit, but I was definitely an ass and I regret that.
You have a lot of healthy Bird happening. I’m starting to wonder if your Lion is the model.
If you are a Bird primary, you’re one who builds your system much more than one who adopts it. You also seem very confident in your own perceptions, not unwilling to change but not impressionable.
When it comes to less major parts of your ideals, such as the gun control thing you adjusted your stance on, do you feel satisfied after puzzling things like that out? Or do you kind of hate that you need to?
• The next one is “If I’ve decided to stand by the people I love, it’s a choice. I could make a different decision.” Vs “At the end of the day, some things are right and some things are wrong. You don’t turn your back on the people you love.”
And my problem with that is… both. It is a choice, I could, theoretically, make a different one. But I don’t think it would be right to do so. I think that I would have to have an overwhelming reason to turn my back on my people. Someone cheating one me, or coming to hold beliefs antithetical to me (like if one of my SOs suddenly went TERFy or something), yeah, I would probably turn away, but it would hurt. But it’s still a choice I’ve made, either way.
I don’t think you’re a Snake.
• When you sit down and consider the terrifying lack of objective truth in our reality, how do you feel?
But what is truth? Does this mean truths about the universe, reality, physics, etc? I surely believe there is objective truth and structure there, though I doubt if humanity can discover it all. We are clever little apes, but its a big, weird universe.
Does it mean moral, philosophical truths? Moral relativism all the way babe! I mean, I’m an atheist, and I dont believe there’s one objective truth out there laid down by something supernatural, and I think it has to be something everybody comes to on their own as an accumulation of life experiences. I’ve got a few core things I think are important and the rest just… flows. I went with “the model in our heads is good enough,” because we’ve all got to settle for that in the end, I suppose.
It’s an interesting question and none of the answers quite fit for me. I think part of my trouble with the quiz is how abstract the questions are. “Do you like shortcuts?” Well, I dont know, quiz, what on earth is the CONTEXT? I understand why it’s written that way, but I do wish it was a bit more choose-your-own-adventure, handing me scenarios instead of philosophical abstraction.
You could be a Bird primary.
• When you’re not sure what’s the right thing to do, what do you turn to?
Research, and talking to my people, and then I think about it a bit. Or I just go with my gut and try to figure it out later. Either way I will spend a lot of time thinking about it, either trying to choose or trying to parse the choice I made.
Yeah, you might have to puzzle out which of these is the model yourself. This is a pretty subtle distinction. @wisteria-lodge and I both have posts about this. The appropriate tags on my blog are #ravenclaw primary and #gryffindor primary –if you can get Tumblr to function as intended (mobile search is very very flaky), those should get you the info you want, along with lots of accounts from other people Sorting themselves.
I’m starting to lean towards Bird for you, actually. But again, this is one pair that can be hard to tell apart, and sometimes it gets harder the closer you look at it. Maddening.
• Would you feel worse abandoning a stranger in need or turning your back on your closest friend?
Another one where I want context. If we’re talking identical scenarios – say, they’re drowning – I’d save my friend over someone else, except for maybe a small child… maybe? Honestly I’d probably try to save both and end up dying. But I do prioritize and I’d help my friend over a stranger, sans specific extenuating circumstances on the part of said stranger.
Once again, I don’t think you’re a Snake. I think you’re a Lion with loyalty baked into your intuition, or a Bird who’s picked up some Snakey philosophy.
• After spending some time trying to decide between two options, you are convinced that A is the right thing to do. The people around you, though, are just as convinced that it’s B. How do you feel?
Like I haven’t explained well enough, because they’re not getting why my opinion is the best one. Seriously though, it would make me wonder if I missed something, and I’d probably spend more time talking and researching to compensate. On the other hand… context… am I choosing colleges here (yes, folks, give me your input!) or whether or not to get an abortion (where I would value the input of those directly connected to me, but in the end it’s 100% my choice and those who disagree can eff off.)
When you’re choosing a college, you’re making a tactical decision, not a moral one. Gathering information from others is a Bird secondary thing: you’re doing research.
When you’re making a moral decision, that’s where your primary is involved, and here your answer is strongly Lion.
[I’m skipping a few of the next questions because they don’t give strong information for you specifically. Mostly what they get at is, you’re not a Badger, especially not an unhealthy Badger.]
• Does your internal moral compass know something you don’t?
Well… maybe? I feed a lot of stuff into my brain, and I don’t always know what I think until the words have fallen out of my mouth.
I gotta say, I’m a Bird primary and this sounds terrifying to me. Sometimes I need to write about something before my opinion fully forms, but I write and think so much because I don’t trust myself to talk about it until I’ve poked the issue a bunch on my own.
The only exception is that there are a few people who will take me at my word if I say I haven’t made up my mind about an issue yet, and will listen to me debate it with myself, without judging me for not immediately agreeing with the stance they’ve already taken.
Not everyone is the same, of course, but this answer is a very Lion one.
• If you get a chance to make the world a better place, you have to pursue it– even at the expense of your happiness and personal relationships. Do you think this is a true statement?
If I could throw myself into a volcano to fix everything that is wrong with the world, I would cry and hug everybody I love and regret the hell out of what I was about to do to them and then chuck myself in the damn volcano. I think not doing so would be more selfish.
That is... a totally different thing than this question asked! 😂
However, you've established in previous questions (some of which were cut for length) that you don't feel responsible for fixing/changing the world as a moral imperative, so your answer to this is actually more interesting, lol.
I don't know what it actually says about your Sorting, but I'm leaving it in because it made me laugh.
• Do you think you’re a good person?
Another easy one. Define good! I try to be, within my own belief systems. But I know a lot of people who would not think I’m a good person, because in their belief systems I’m not. I think some of those people are good people, I think some are bad people. Life is complex. I do my best.
This is a pretty Birdy answer. You keep going back and forth! :p I'm probably going to end up leaving you with an ambiguous answer, huh?
If you're a burned Lion, you sound awfully chill about it and you use your ridiculously strong Bird model in an unusually healthy way, for a Lion. Lots of Lions with Bird models really struggle to reconcile the different priorities.
If you're a Bird, you have a ridiculously strong Lion model that seems to actually override your Bird sometimes--but Bird systems are complex and can include weird recursive rules like "in this situation, this other Primary is more right so we use that." Also, your understanding of your system seems more hands-off than a lot of Birds.
• It’s important to do the right thing, even when it feels wrong.
…yeeeeeees…. but. Why does it feel wrong? I would want to investigate that before doing the thing, because if it feels wrong, maybe I’m missing something that my subconscious caught. If I investigate that and am sure about the right, I think… I don’t know. I’m not sure I could do something I felt super icky about even if it was quote-unquote right?
Oh hey, that's my approach to Lion primary too. One point for Bird + loud Lion model?
By now I bet you either have a strong feeling about which of the options I've narrowed down is you, or you'll think about it and go back and pore over the archives here and on the other Sorting blogs. And then you'll think about which approach you took and what kind of a hint that is, which is basically meta-meta-analysis. Except now I've written this and you've read it, so you'll be wondering how reading this will affect your judgment, so it's meta-meta-meta-analysis now.
...I'll stop. 😉
Secondaries
Future Paint here. Tumblr discarded the ENTIRE second half of my response to this post, because I saved it and then hit post without refreshing the page, so it posted the old version, because of course it did.
The tl;dr is that I believe anon to be a rapid-fire Bird secondary with a Lion model.
Brb while I reconstruct this post.
• Do you like going into situations with a plan?
• When you spot a metaphorical obstacle in your path, what do you do?
I would love to, and some situations I do– job interviews, for example – but sticking to a plan is not my strong suit. I can follow a schedule, to some degree, and I can kind of make plans… but then I trip up because how can I account for all contingencies? So I usually end up chucking the plan and YOLOing my way through something on a wave of accumulated knowledge and practice experience.
Not all Birds are big planners. The defining thing is preparation, and that can mean hoarding skills, knowledge, tools and contacts, not just making plans and decisions in advance. A Bird might, for example, decide not to schedule their vacation, and instead read a couple travel guides before they go but wing it when they're there.
This question is one of those where I’d love a less abstract scenario. Because… it depends. In a video game I’ll usually go around. In real life I’ll stop and panic for a minute or a day, then get up and deal with whatever needs dealing with. Unless its a super immediate issue, and then I’m in the middle of it already and have to put off my existential crisis until later (see prior example of “breaking up a dogfight by sticking my arm betwixt them,” see also “i spent much of my teens rolling out of bed at 3am and getting dressed to go help with a foal delivery and I didn’t really start thinking until like twenty minutes after we arrive and start dealing with shit.” Like, I was making decisions and thinking about things, but… its different. They’re not reasoned choices, they’re “this has to be dealt with NOW so do what you can and sort it out later.”)
• Do you like to gather all possible information before making a decision?
I guess I land on needing to understand your problems. You can’t put them off forever, but if you’ve got the time to do some research and contemplation aforehand, that seems like the better choice.
I need you all to know that I didn't cut this dogfight story--I'm not depriving you of whatever wild ride anon had, it's just as much of a Noodle Incident to me as it is to you. However. I don't think I need to argue *too* much that anon has a Lion model.
• Is knowing things or knowing people more useful when solving problems?
Another tricky one, because I think all the answers are correct. I do like to know what’s going on, but at a certain point that IS just stalling. But! It’s true that making decisions without understanding the full picture CAN really mess you up! But it’s ALSO true that, in many situations, I can change my mind if I learn more. I think I lean towards doing All the Research before making a choice, but I’m pretty sure that’s largely a procrastination tactic.
Birrrrd.
Both. Ideally, one would know a range of People who know/have many Things. I’m a big fan of bartering my own skills and knowledge in return for those of other people – for example I am the go-to research person, because I’m pretty good at sourcing info and condensing it into “here’s what you ought to know, here are your options, and here’s where you can go for more information,” a thing which I do freely for my family. In return they do things I can’t or don’t want to, like my taxes or getting things off high shelves or making travel plans or whatnot.
• When your plan fails, what do you do?
I’m better at accumulating knowledge than connections, but I think the right connections are more often useful than said knowledge.
As @wisteria-lodge has said before, some Birds accumulate contacts the same way they gather other tools. They like the be the person to say, "I know a guy."
You're VERY clearly not a Badger. I've cut all the questions that were like "do you do [Badger Thing]" and you were like "NO" so. I don't think you'll need convincing on this point lol
See above… panic then act, unless I don’t have time, in which case act and then panic. Solve the immediate problems, clear some space to breathe, then deal with the rest.
• Do you collect things? Facts, objects, hobbies?
……. do links full of interesting things I fully intend to get around to reading and understanding someday count?
…yeah, this is where I take a look around at my books, games, Interesting Facts, various half-compentent hobby activities, and enduring rage that I cannot possibly know All The Things because I am a mortal subject to the finite bounds of my life and acknowledge that yes. I hoard the SHIT out of both physical and intellectual stuff.
• Do you ever study or plan excessively for things that aren’t useful? Just for fun?
I’m torn between yes, and yes but they have a purpose. I do enjoy learning, i was always good in school, when I could be bothered to care. There are a few topics I enjoy for their own sake – language and history and anything world-building, really, anything to do with who we are and how we got there. But I won’t usually go in depth; most things I skim enough to understand the basic concept and move on, leaving those things as cocktail facts. “Oh, you’re an astronomer focusing on the moons of Jupiter? I read $JupiterFact a while back, what are your thoughts?”
• Do you act differently in different groups? Does it bother you, if you do?
Like, I dont care about the moons of Jupiter unless Titan or Europa or whichever turns out to have life, but space is neat and I’d be excited by that conversation and I’m intrigued by the concepts even if i don’t have the inclination to deep-dive the topic.
These 3 question/answer pairs explain pretty clearly why I think anon is a Bird secondary...
Not very often, and not much. I absolutely utilize code-switching, but I’ve felt bad about not opening my mouth at times when I worked at a place that assumed I was a good little Christian white girl… I’m usually too afraid of repercussions to say anything, but I remember my supervisor saying an atheist billboard was “too much” and I just said “no, of course it isnt” and we gave each other a look like “… well this isn’t good…”
• When solving problems, is your first reaction seeing what “tools” you have in your pockets?
In general though, I’ll use a mask when I need to but I’m just kinda… me.
...and this was what cleared up the Lion secondary model for me.
• When you are deciding how to react to a situation, are your choices most affected by internal (how you feel, what you think, what you want) or external inputs (what’s happening around you)?
…I’m really not sure. I don’t think i actively assess the tools, physical or mental, that I have to hand? I generally know if I DON’T have the resources to deal with something, but if i do have them, I just do the thing and don’t think about it.
That's normal. You just know your toolset well enough that you don't have to think about it. Some Birds don't, or their toolset is eclectic enough (or even granular enough; try remembering all the books you've read that are relevant to a given research paper topic) that they forget what they have.
I think if I knew what I felt, I’d be happy deciding based on internal things, but I don’t know that I trust myself enough.
This answer seems more relevant to your primary. Might be Burned Lion primary peeking through.
And that puts me at a hatstall again.
Sorry for the bombardment, but it seemed like this would be relevant. I know I prefer more info to less, when I’m trying to help someone figure things out, so… words. Many, many words. Thrown at you. Mea culpa.
Hope you don't mind my cherrypicking! This must have been a ton of work for you to write, and I threw a bunch of it away 😭
(Only sort of, I did read it all first.)
In conclusion
Primary: either burned Lion + healthy Bird model, or Bird + loud loud Lion model.
Secondary: rapid-fire Bird with Lion model.
Hope that helps!
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roguesandsaviors · 4 years
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Cozy Holidays
Fandom: Sweet Virginia
Characters: Sam Rossi, Madison (OFC)
Pairing: Sam x Madison (OFC)
Summary: The holidays are approaching. Sam and Madison spent some time together in a snow storm.
Word Count: 1,540
Rating: SFW
Warning: None
A/N: A fluffy, short idea that popped into my head after seeing someone post Chris Evan’s instagram post today. Mistakes are all my own as it is un-beta’ed. Hope everyone enjoys.
*****************************************************************************************
The loud whistle of wind echoed through the house, the storm not letting itself go unknown. There was a blanket of a white outside, surely a few feet by now. It had been coming down hard for a couple hours now, well before they had woken up. It was the first major snow storm of the season and it was a good one. Thankfully, neither of them had to be outside. The plows would come by soon enough, at least clearing the roadway so Sam could go and check on the motel. He was sure everything was fine and the new hire was young enough to be clearing the lot once the trucks had been through. 
Moving away from the window and the chill that was seeping through the edges, Sam moved towards the living room. The room was significantly warmer than the back room, the fireplace crackling and cracking as the wood burned. It could still be heard over the soft sounds of the Christmas movie on the TV. The flickering lights of the small Christmas tree played off the window and the television from the angle he was standing at. They had only put it up yesterday, Sam having felt unsure about it to begin with. Madison had ultimately convinced him, having gone out and bought them ornaments and lights. The entire act of setting it up and decorating it had been more enjoyable than expected, helping to put him more in the holiday mood. 
The scene in front of him was enough to put a smile on his face and make him pause just behind the couch. He always didn't want to ruin the peace. He soaked the second in, enjoying it from the outside, which was fine by him. This whole thing was something that he thought he would never have again. Then Madison came into his life, quietly at first. It certainly had not felt like anything like this would happen. He had been happy to have a new friend before it had developed even further. He was a damn lucky man and he knew it.  
Slinger was the first to notice that he had come back. His head lazily lifted to look back at Sam before flopping back down again. Sometimes it amazed Sam how the dog went from the little bean that fit into his palm to the massive ball of fluff that was settled at the end of the couch. More like taking up the entire end of the couch, paws hanging off the edge and looking rather comfortable. It hadn't taken long for Slinger to take the space that Sam had abandoned when he had gotten up. 
"Hey boy," he murmured and reached out to give the dog a pat before moving around to figure out where he could get himself back onto the couch. Madison laughed as she realized he had come back and shifted into a seated position. "We need to get a bigger couch," Sam grumbled. It was a thought, though they would need a massive one to be able to fit both of them and Slinger onto it.
"Slinger, off." She motioned for the dog to head over to the love-seat. Sam stood there and watched as Slinger lifted his head like he was being disturbed with the greatest of inconveniences. Madison rarely had to repeat any commands to their boy and Sam waited to see if Slinger would listen.The dog huffed, which was enough to get Sam to laugh before listening to her. Slowly, he pushed up and made a show of stretching out as he slid from the couch and padded over to the love-seat. "We could just get him his own couch," Madison offered up in a tease, turning her attention to him and away from the movie.
"He has that in the love-seat. It's practically his." Which was the truth. Slinger, at nearly one hundred and fifty pounds and almost three feet tall, took up the entirety of the smaller piece of furniture. The only thing that saved it was the blanket that lived over it, protecting the fabric from the dog's hair. That was more for the sake of not having to clean it daily more than anything else. They had learned their lesson earlier on with that. 
Sam settled down beside her, the blanket that he had gotten up to retrieve shaken over and wrapped around the both of them after a second. It was cozy and Sam didn't have a worry in the world outside keeping the both of them comfortable. "He's spoiled enough already. At least we can all relax on a bigger couch." Madison grinned as she turned to look at him. 
"You're a big softie, you know that?" Her hand came up to rub his cheek, scratching lightly at the beard that she had convinced him to trim down just a bit, finally. More of a clean up. He hummed in appreciation of the additional soft touch. 
"I think everyone knows that at this point." She laughed and leaned up to kiss his chin. "I just have to live with it." 
"Well, I for one don't see a problem with it and I know for a fact that Slinger doesn't either." He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her in a little closer. Kissing the side of her head, his eyes focused on the television. 
"What are you watching?" Sam didn't recognize what was on the television. Then again, it had been some time since he had even bothered watching a Christmas film. It was an older one, black and white pictures playing across the screen. 
"It Happened on 5th Avenue." She settled against his chest as they both moved with a practiced ease. With a few shifts, Sam had his back pressed to the arm of the couch with Madison resting between his legs,her back against his chest. His arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close. Her hands moved to his bad leg and worked softly, massaging the sore muscles. He relaxed more, appreciating the gesture as always. She knew just how to press to give him some relief. 
"I don't think I've ever seen it," he hummed softly. 
"It's one of the more underrated Christmas movies. Everyone knows It's a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. But this one fits right up there with them in my opinion. I almost put on The Grinch but thought that maybe something a little more adult was appropriate." Sam laughed. 
"Hmm, maybe we will have to watch that next then. I at least know it." It was silly but neither of them had to worry about that with each other. Watching cartoons was even more acceptable at Christmas time. "Slinger might appreciate getting to watch Max work. Could give him ideas so he isn't such a couch potato. He is meant to pull a sleigh after all." She laughed with him this time, turning her head to look at the dog in question.
"You leave our boy alone. He's perfect just the way that he is." Still chuckling, Sam kissed the back of her head. Our boy. Every time she said that, it echoed in his head. This time of year always reminded of children. With the marketing how could it not? Madison saying that just made those thoughts circle his head again. It probably wasn't a smart idea, something he had to remind himself. Not with his health. 
"Fine, you're right." His presence was enough to keep the house safe and that was perfectly fine by Sam. He really didn't mind the dog being lazy. It made life easier on him than to have the giant fur ball be crazy and overactive. "He is perfect. And we have you to thank for that." 
"You're the one that worked with him as a pup, handling him and socializing him."
"I had your help and Maggie's," he reminded her. Madison couldn't argue that, though she had the rest of the litter to worry about. She kept them until they were weaned off the bottle. Maggie had taken one, Sam had kept Slinger and the other two had found homes within the community. Helping Sam with Slinger had brought her closer to the man, allowing the relationship to develop. 
"Maybe but that doesn't mean that you didn't do the majority of it. He was around you more than anyone else." It had been adorable to see Sam carry the pup around until he couldn't. From there, Slinger was practically attached to his side. Thankfully the pup had been a quick learner and an excellent listener given that they were still at the motel at that point. 
"Yet somehow, he is definitely a momma's boy," he teased. 
"I can't really argue that."
"Nah, you can't. But that's okay. I can't blame him for it." He gave her waist a small squeeze. He was in the same position after all and it was not something that he could complain about. 
Here, in the peace of the house, with the warmth from the fire, and the comfort of Madison against him, Sam felt truly content for the holiday season. It was simple but it was just what they needed.  
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garthups · 3 years
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the maze, part I
Part One of the story! Very excited to post this. -Leslie
I kept the car running in park while the shitty vents sputtered, trying my hands warm. Your Love by that band from the eighties was playing in the distance. I have a love-hate relationship with these roped off grassy parking lots, where there aren't actual spaces, just car anarchy. Take any spot you can find and let’s all hope that some semblance of a parking lot comes together. Sure there’s something inherently egalitarian about it, but they remind me of being scared to park when I was learning to drive. I was always positive that my Camry was too far over, and I’d brace myself for the crunch of metal on metal. 
The familiarity of coming to the maze made parking in the lot easier, and I didn’t have to reverse and drive into the same spot over and over again to be satisfied. My friends and I came to Hudler Farm every October for the autumn corn maze. Sometimes we’d take caramel apples in and chaunk through them while meandering.
 Fuck, that was always so fun. High school seems like a lifetime ago though. All it takes are a few hundred miles, and staggered midterms, and suddenly you talk to the guy in the dorm next to yours who gets drunk on natty seltzer more than the people who got you through your mcr phase.
 None of us got together last year, which was a bummer, but out of the blue Lottie messaged Sam and me. I watched the shadowy families walk by in the dark, my hands weren’t getting any warmer though. The idle LEDs were dim enough that I could see outside. A little boy running after his parents tripped and fell in the mud. I stifled a chuckle, because kids falling down is hilarious, and tried to screw with the vents, but they were already all open. Piece of shit car. When I looked up, the boy was still splayed out on the ground, shivering. Both his parents kept walking though. I scrunched my brow. I started fidgeting with my seatbelt, but my hands didn’t have much feeling in them. People were just walking around him, like he wasn’t there. 
“WHAT’S up dog!” My door exploded open.
“JESUS fucking god Lottie, I--” She took her spot in the passenger seat, laughing her ass off.
“Sorry sorry sorry, wow Phoebs I got you pretty good huh?”
“I mean yeah I’m just so ready to get killed in this parking lot. Hey I think that kid hurt himself out there pretty bad.” I breathed, still shaken.
“What kid?”
“That one.”
“Oh that one, sorry it’s dark, so it took me a sec. Yeah let’s go help.” Honestly, I could never stay mad at Lottie. Seeing her new dreads in person made me miss the big buns she wore in high school. We slammed the doors shut, and stepped onto the ground covered in too-damp leaves. Two guys beat us to him though, and they were helping him up.
“Oh wait, is that the kid you meant?”
“Lottie, why would I be talking about a kid that isn’t sprawled out on the ground.”
“I thought this one was playing snake or something. Anyway, let’s go meet Sam’s friend!”
We walked over to the boys, Sam’s friend was getting the kid back on his feet. Sam’s friend was a good head taller than he was, which wasn’t saying too much. The guy gave off an eagle scout vibe though, so his height was probably pretty important to him. Maybe camp counselor would have been closer. He was gently reassuring the kid.
“Feeling better? Okay, better go catch your folks, and make sure not to stay too far behind them, bud, okay?”
“Good call man, I thought he was just playing snake.” Sam glowed.
“Sup fuckers!” Lottie sang. The boy turned around, he looked about nine, so Lotties curse made him bust a grin. From the looks of it he scraped his cheek pretty bad. He dashed off. Sam’s friend laughed nervously since Lottie broke the unspoken rule of swearing in front of kids.
“Hey dudes! It’s so awesome to see you!” Sam laughed. “I told Matrix everything about you, so there’s no need to divulge any information to him. Don’t trust this guy with any more embarrassing stories about yourselves.” Matrix waved shyly, and I rolled my eyes.
“That’s cool. You know we called Sam “Shrimpy” all of sophomore year because his hair got all curly and he dyed it red?”
“Thanks Phoebe, that is something I like people to know about me.” Sam said while subconsciously making sure his hair was still a tight buzz cut. Matrix smiled a little.
“You must be Lottie?”
“It’s great to meet you! Lets get some apples.” 
The four of us were waved through by the teen collecting tickets. The entrance to the maze had a little banner raised up on two poles and a chair with an admissions person. Next to the entrance was a main pavilion with a tiny shop and some picnic tables out under the roof. Lots of families were congregating there, buying souvenirs and farm t-shirts. Thankfully this wasn’t one of the maze theme nights according to a big promotional calendar that outlined all the dates. Lottie groaned when she saw that they added alien night and we hadn’t bought tickets.
“Like what does that even mean though. Are there aliens in the maze? Do they scare us?” Sam said eyeing the kettle corn buckets.
“Yeah I mean, it’s probably just like zombie night and mermaid night where you just get like jumpscared by teens in costumes. Freakin aliens though! Imagine!”
“Uhh did you say they do a mermaid night here?” Matrix said.
“Dude I never told you about that! You’re looking at the three scariest volunteer mermaid teens that Hudler farms has ever known. We were unholy legends flopping after scared families.”
Sam and Lottie were wide eyed crowding around Matrix, telling him all about the glory days. Made me pity him, his bud probably had a whole different energy at college.
“They’re fucking with you! Why in god’s name would a corn maze have a mermaid night.” I finally shouted. Lottie pouted.
“Boooooo Phoebe! How dare you!” I wrapped my face up in my scarf to escape guilt. 
We all mostly ate our caramel apples under the pavilion just so we could give Matrix the rundown of the maze. The Hudler farm maze has these eight checkpoints which give you special tickets. 
“We don’t leave without all eight. Got it? Dee oh en tee. I don’t give a fuck if we die trying.” Lottie said through a mouth of caramel and nuts. It felt surreal having my friends here again. After all, the limited exposure I had to them was social media. I lived vicariously through the photos they posted of new friends.
There was a sign in the pavilion that gave us a rough idea of where all the checkpoints in the maze were. I resisted the urge to take a photo in order to preserve the challenge that the maze posed. Probably didn’t need it to beat our best time. I was the only one who hadn’t finished their apple for traditions sake. Hopefully the caramel wouldn’t freeze though.
“Ok so let's remember to hit that cluster of checkpoints in the northern corner first. We're gonna take a lot of rights and then keep going on that long stretch forward.” I strategized.
“I’ll eat that apple if you’re not going to Phoeb, you know I’m psyched that they got pink ladies this year instead of grannies smiths.” Begged Sam.
“I did a few youth group trips to corn mazes, so this isn’t my first rodeo guys don’t worry!” Matrix added.
“That’s cool.” Phoebe said straight faced. I wanted to laugh, but didn’t want to hurt his feelings.
Before I could respond, I saw it. I inhaled slowly as I took in the scene before us. The moon was thin and most of the lights were under the pavilion itself, but I felt like I should’ve noticed something so wrong before.
“Why is the all corn so fucking tall.” The question, er -- statement hung in the air for a few seconds while the maze came into view for everyone else. Corn stalks get surprisingly tall late in autumn, maybe like ten feet. This stuff though. It was like, way way way too tall. And not irregular. So, regular. The maze looked like it could have been a trimmed hedge. All the stalks stretched up and up, reaching out for the sky, each of them trying to escape from the ground. I suddenly was at a loss, something so ordinary was wrong in such an obvious way. Finally, Lottie broke our silence.
“Shit.” Great. I mean, she wasn’t wrong.
“That’s amazing. God is it this tall every year? That’s the tallest corn I’ve ever seen, must be 30 feet! Maybe more.” Finally Matrix had found something to be upbeat about.
“Ahh no man. It’s like normal usually. Lottie are you feeling alright? Do you want to take a sec before we head in.”
Matrix jumped in. “Nothing to be worried about. I’m sure it’s just like GMO’s or something. Gotta up the yield. They should seriously lead with that in the advertising though. Corn jungle! Towering Corn! Feast your eyes ladies and gentlemen on the worlds first corn metropolis!” He broke the spell on Lottie with his campy broadcaster voice. She joined in: “Keep your dame close as you delve into the mysterious corn caverns, where the CORN DRAGON DWELLS.”
Matrix Chuckled. “Well I don’t know about that. Hard to deliver on a corn dragon. But look I’m sure it’s fine, everyone else doesn’t seem to mind.” It was true, the usual fare of families and teen groups were venturing into the maze without concern. I watched the family from the parking lot get a safety flashlight from the teen working the entrance. I breathed in through my teeth.
“For a second I thought you actually made jokes, scooter. You’re right, it’s probably just a good year for tall corn. We can go.”
“Phoebster, you good?” Sam nudged me. It honestly took me a second longer than Lottie to take in all the explanations. It was such a weird thing to be off in such a significant way. Must have been some primal instinct of being afraid of the dark. The corn stalks were darker than the night sky around them; I tried to catch glimpses through the stalks but they blanketed out the stars. 
“Yeah sorry about that guys. I’ll remember more of the strategy once we’re in the maze. Let’s blow through this thing!” 
We went into the maze.
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Disclaimer: Tumblr sucks, but this chapter doesn’t. Honestly my favorite chapter so far, no joke. I will be the one posting my gf @anesther’s fics in order to have them in the tags, so hopefully you all can read and enjoy as well!
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AN: Gonna have my girlfriend upload my stuff now and then because tumblr really, really hates giving my posts a chance in the tags. It took me all day, with wrist pain and being busy, but I got it up dang it.
Title: Interfaces
Characters: Entrapta, Hordak, features Glimmer and Adora
Pairing: Entrapdak
Rating: T (for some sensuality)
Read on AO3 for the love of god.
                                                          Spa Day
“Welcome to Mystacore!” Glimmer says, arm stretching out in a grand sweeping motion. “Well, Mystacore Number Two. We haven’t thought of a name yet.”
Hordak stares at the pink and purple valances strewn around the building, hedges and trees neatly trimmed. The first thing he thinks is that the place smells sickeningly sweet, almost cloying. The paradise remained primarily in the clouds, though a small group of people had decided to head earthbound to create a sector that was adjacent to Bright Moon. Glimmer, being the niece of Castaspella, had been more than excited to overlook the project. And even more excited to bring people who had yet to experience the beauty and zen of Mystacorian performance.
“We finally got the renovations complete for the soaking tubs,” Glimmer continues. “It took a while to find underground hot springs, but we managed to get it together. There is also a new area we’re trying out where we give out massages.”
Entrapta looks around, curious. She approaches a smooth marble column, sliding her hand down its surface, “How long has this been going on?”
“Once Horde Prime was defeated, I wanted to bring calm to Etheria, and nothing says peace like Mystacore! My dad also wanted to spend more time in Mystacore and Bright Moon, so we compromised by bringing him a little piece of home from each place.”
“Wow, you’ve really outdone yourself, Glimmer,” Adora states.
“Thank you, but it wasn’t just me. My aunt helped a lot to put it together— Where’s Entrapta?”
Adora and she look at Hordak, who keeps his usual frown.
“She always does that,” Adora sighs.
“Okay, should we look for her?” Glimmer asks.
“She will arrive when she likes,” Hordak says, walking forward, leaving them behind.
“Right, of course,” Glimmer agrees, transporting next to him. “I can lead you to one of our relaxation facilities.”
Adora shouts, “I’m going to head to a different room!”
Glimmer waves goodbye, keeping pace with Hordak.
Hordak doesn’t protest as she points out the various needs that can be taken care of. The defeat of Horde Prime led to an odd but solid relationship with Queen Glimmer. In the years since, there hasn’t been a single battle between his kind and the Etherians, who have adopted the former in a truce that is proving to be positive. With Horde Prime’s technology, and the reemergence of Etheria to the rest of the universe, there have been advancements toward space travel and forming alliances with neighboring planets. His brothers have taken quite well to Etherian life, and he had noted several of them waiting in the foyer, and even aided in the construction of Mystacore Number Two.
She really should name it better.
“Here we are,” Glimmer announces. Opening polished double doors, she reveals several massage tables, freshly changed with clean linen. The room is artificially lit, with large sources of it coming from a tall ceiling. “This is the aromatherapy room, if you’d like to begin here.”
Hordak scans the area, hesitating.
“Not a big fan of smells?”
“It’s not that, there’s merely a lot of them.”
Glimmer gestures toward a table, “Would you like to give it a try?”
“...I’m not sure…”
“Well, that’s okay!” Glimmer tells him. “We have plenty of other rooms for you to try out.”
Hordak is led through another set of doors. This hallway shines soft lavender with hibiscus accents. He doesn’t even step into the room before his nose wrinkles in disgust.
Glimmer takes one look and opts to head down to the left, “Why don’t we go this way?”
“What was in that room?”
“Our manicure and pedicure salon. I thought maybe that would be good, considering how long your claws can get.”
“I take care of that myself.”
“Oh, well, I guess that makes sense, since they look really, um… sharp?”
Hordak looks at his hands, “They don’t grow longer than this.”
“I see. Well, manicures are out!” Glimmer looks up at him, “Would you like to see our electrolysis treatment?”
Hordak raises a brow at her.
“Heh, right, stupid question. Let’s keep going, shall we?”
                                                              -
“Entrapta? Where’d you go?” Adora asks. There has got to be an easier way to keep track of someone who isn’t even five feet tall, has hair that extends 20 feet when she likes, and is brightly colored purple. “Are you in the vents? I don’t even know how that could be—there aren’t any.”
Adora walks along the pilasters, letting her mind wander as she searches. It’s been a good while since Horde Prime was beaten. While everyone seems to have moved on, she can’t help but be a little wary when Hordak makes his presence known. She doesn’t hate him, but she, as Bow had eloquently put it once, ‘has major trust issues.’
She doesn’t think he will go against them, and the rest of his kind have settled into Etherian life very well. Their acclimation has been nothing short of surprising.
Maybe she needs to look at it as the simple fact that there isn’t anything to worry about. That there isn’t a reason for her to access She-Ra.
She can be Adora.
“What are you doing?”
“Agh!” she yelps, jumping away.
Entrapta lowers herself from the ceiling, “You started spacing out.”
“What? I was looking for you.”
“You were, but then you were just standing here for a few minutes. Did you find something interesting on the floor?” Entrapta asks, pushing her aside to look at the spot. “Hmm, doesn’t seem to have anything.”
“There isn’t anything on the floor. I was just looking for you.”
“That’s nice of you! Would you happen to know how they manage to get the pipes threaded into the walls? I’ve been trying to find a way to note how this place is structured, but I haven’t found an entrance.”
“I’m not sure where that would be either,” Adora replies.
“That’s okay! I’m sure I can find one—or make one without compromising the integrity of the building.”
“Entrapta, can I ask you something?”
“What?”
“How has Hordak been taking to Etherian life?”
“Oh, he’s been great! He’s had a lot more free time with me to work on all kinds of new inventions! He’s been putting together this new kind of robot with me, but I can’t tell you too much about it!” Entrapta shifts close, whispering. “It’s a secret!”
“What kind of robot?” Adora asks, anxiety forming.
“Can’t tell you! Hordak and I are going to be working on it a while longer, and it’s going to be so cool!”
Before Adora can say anything, Entrapta looks up at the ceiling, “Oh, I think that might be a good spot to try for an opening.”
In one movement, she ascends, leaving Adora confused.
What kind of robot?
It’s probably not anything.
Adora sighs, wondering if she’s being paranoid. That’s not something she’s been able to fully shake off. Maybe she should find Glimmer. She’s bound to be done with Hordak by now.
                                                                 -
Hordak has never been more stressed in his entire life.
“You have to relax.”
“I… I don’t think I can,” Hordak says, trying not to shake.
“I promise if you relax, you won’t be feeling, uh, whatever it is you’re feeling.”
“Is this supposed to be how it works?”
“Yes, acupuncture is supposed to be like this. Although, it would help if you relax.”
“I don’t believe telling me to relax over and over is going to make that happen,” Hordak hisses. With an irritated grunt, he stands up from the lounging chair. He turns to the acupuncturist, “Get these off me at once!”
Glimmer groans, “Hordak, I promise if you just let things be, you wouldn’t be upset!”
She has been trying all day to be a good host. This was supposed to be a calm afternoon, but he seems so resistant. Absolutely stubborn! She had an easier time with Adora, and she had been going a little nuts. But Hordak has a determination to be as unreasonable as possible when it comes to treatment.
Frowning, she walks up to him, “We went to a lot of places already—the deep tissue massage, hot stone massage, facials, scrubs. You just don’t seem to care for anything.”
Hordak opens his jaw, moving it up and down, side to side. Patting his cheeks, he looks at her, “Well, you’ve had me go around everywhere, and there is simply nothing I want.”
“There’s always a place people can go to let their hair down. Ooh, do you want a hair wash?”
“No, again, I do that myself,” Hordak says.
Glimmer shakes her head, “Of course. You do everything yourself.”
He suddenly lets out a sharp hiss, pain shooting up his arm.
She looks at his fingers, the rest covered by a robe, “Are you okay?”
“It’s nothing. Just a nerve…” Hordak holds up a hand. “Don’t try to throw me in the wayward arms of a masseuse. I would simply like to rest.”
Glimmer’s brows furrow in thought. Perhaps she has been looking at this all wrong. There were so many new additions to Mystacore’s already impressive spa treatments, that she had been excited to unveil them all to Hordak and Entrapta—even if the latter has been gone this entire time—that she didn’t stop to consider that she might have been pushing him into something he doesn’t care for. Over the past few years, she learned he’s someone who doesn’t need or desire a lot, especially if they’re material possessions or experiences. “You know, I have one last room for you, and I think this one will click.”
Hordak sighs deeply, more exhausted than when he arrived. He nods, “Very well. Lead the way.”
Hopeful about this one, Glimmer allows him to pass through a singular door. The hallway gleams silver and blue, the temperature a little cooler by a few degrees. Hordak smells nothing out of the ordinary. His ears twitch at the sound of running water, and he catches the scent of it before coming to a room full of steam.
Hordak looks around the vicinity, the fog obscuring his vision to a good enough amount to ensure privacy, even if wearing clothes designed for soaking were available.
Glimmer smiles at him, “Here is the sauna-including-soaking-tubs! I wasn’t sure whether to bring you here because it doesn’t seem like something you’d be into. And people are usually around, but I think this could work.”
He dips his hand into nearby water, clear where the water doesn’t froth from the small waterfall; the heat radiates from his fingers upward.
“This will do,” Hordak says.
“Yes!” Glimmer shouts, enthused.
He looks at her, smirking, “It only took you all day to find something suitable.”
“Well, you’re one tough customer. But I think you’ll enjoy it here. And no one’s around. I’ll grab you something to change into.”
Soon, Hordak is dressed in breathable clothes, and Glimmer takes her leave.
Slipping into the hot water, Hordak allows a contented sigh to leave his lips. He sinks down into the water until its surface touches his chin. The sensation is akin to pleasure. The liquid moves about his muscles, steam shifting in front of his eyes when he breathes. His head tips forward, circulation steadily increasing. The numbness in his arm begins to recede, heat blissfully wrapping around his limbs.
Hordak submerges completely under the water, eyes closing lightly. There is no air, yet he can breathe. There is no sound, yet there is thrumming in his ears. The warmth permeates through, and a stirring reminiscent of serenity blooms in his chest, in his mind. He curls in on himself, the closest to childhood quiet he will understand.
Emerging from the water, droplets moving down his frame, Hordak’s shoulders droop, a lazy smile on his face. Relaxed.
“Hi!” Entrapta says, coming down.
“Hello,” Hordak replies, easing further. Wearing similar attire, she glides into the water, swimming up to him. She allows her hair to be loose, free from its pigtails, its natural weight drags it down to the bottom, fanning out under the water. Swimming up to his side, she places her arms on his shoulder. “Did you have fun exploring?”
“I did! I was following you every now and then, it wasn’t hard to do that, but I did try to find an opening into the building to look through its pipes, wires, pumps. It was all very interesting!”
“Did you succeed?”
“No! I had to make an opening myself. It’s very discreet, they’ll never knooow,” Entrapta says in a hushed tone.
“I know. You’re very good at being sneaky,” Hordak says, smiling at her.
“Adora was talking to me about you,” Entrapta tells him, leaning upon his shoulder.
“Oh? Why is that?” Hordak asks, resting against the stone. “I think she believes you’re not to be trusted still,” Entrapta informs. Pushing up on him, she brushes a dark blue tendril from his forehead. “I would’ve explained it to her, but I didn’t find it necessary.”
“A wise choice. It cannot be helped. Adora has no reason to extend any sort of olive branch in my direction, even if it has been a couple of years.”
Entrapta flicks some water with her fingers, “She will eventually come around.”
“That’s up to her. And even then, I don’t need to be accepted by everyone during the remainder of my time here.”
“Glimmer is pretty sweet to you!”
“Yes, she is,” Hordak says. He formed an odd kinship with her after the Rebellion regained control of Etheria. “She treats me well.”
“Hey! Look!” Entrapta shouts. Sinking down til her mouth is under, she blows air with her mouth, bubbles rising and popping at the top.
Hordak lowers himself to the water at the same level. And blows bubbles in turn.
Entrapta laughs in manic glee, splashing him as she claps her hands. Hordak shoves water in her direction, making her chortle harder. She squeals when he breaks into a wide, red grin, chasing her around the tub’s perimeter. Grabbing her, Entrapta flops against him, “Oh no, you caught me!”
He nips her ear, breathing onto it, “I did indeed.” He trails his mouth down her neck, making her gasp. Pressing it gently along her throat, he feels her body arch into him. Her arms wrap around his shoulders, moaning into him.
He withdraws, lightly kissing her cheek, “You have to wait.”
“Ooh, you’re such a tease!” Entrapta says, clinging to him. “You’re going to make me wait until we’re back at the lair.”
“Of course. I highly doubt we want anyone rushing in here when I make you scream.”
Entrapta laughs, looking up at him, “But think of the thrill of being caught!”
“Maybe next time. When we go to Glimmer’s castle.”
Their cackles ring around them, echoing above the water.
                                                              -
Glimmer shudders.
Adora looks at her, “What is it?”
“I don’t know. Got a weird feeling outta nowhere.”
“Probably nothing,” Adora says, continuing to eat her meal.
“Yeah, likely nothing.”
                                                              -
Entrapta looks at Glimmer, “Thank you for having us!”
Glimmer nods at the couple, “No problem! Thank you for choosing Mystacore Number Two for all your spa needs!”
“You really should change the name,” Entrapta says.
“And perhaps hire a concierge,” Hordak adds.
“We had one. But we had to fire them for taking up too much time relaxing instead of working.”
“Who was it?”
“Double Trouble.”
“Ah,” Entrapta and Hordak say simultaneously.
“Well, thanks for having us!” Entrapta says.
“Entrapta, hang on,” Adora walks over. “Can we talk over there, for a minute?”
“Sure,” She agrees.
Heading off a few feet, Adora begins, “I wanted to ask how you were doing, but you left really quickly.”
“I’m doing wonderful! Everything has been going smoothly at the lair.”
“What was the robot you mentioned?”
Entrapta waves a hand, “Silly, I told you I can’t talk about it just yet.”
“Not even a hint?” Adora pleads.
Entrapta gives her a gracious smile, patting her head with a lock of purple, “If it makes you feel better, it’s nothing you need to be worried about.”
“I’m not worried.”
“You’re quite a paranoid person, you know that?”
“I’m not that paranoid.”
Entrapta grins at her, “It’s not a bad thing, Adora! When we’re done, I’ll have you look at it!”
Adora sighs. She smiles back, “Alright. I’ll wait until then.”
Glimmer watches them interact for a moment before turning to Hordak, “Did you enjoy your soak?”
“I did,” Hordak answers. He clears his throat. “Thank you.”
“Sure! It’s what spa people do.”
“No, I mean, thank you… for taking the time to help me…”
Glimmer, touched, smiles at him, “Aww, you’re welcome. I’m glad you had fun!”
“Yes, I did enjoy myself,” Hordak admits.
Grinning at this accomplishment, she finds Adora walking back toward her, and Entrapta to Hordak. Bidding goodbyes, she waves at them as they leave.
“Hordak’s changed a lot, huh?” Glimmer says, breaking the silence.
“Yeah, I guess he has.”
Glimmer looks at Adora, “He actually thanked me for a good time! I feel like I can take on any customer!”
“You know you’re a queen, not a spa-day-host-person, right?” Adora asks, smirking at her.
“I can be both,” she declares, before heading inside.
Adora nods. Maybe she does need to be more considerate about the changes people have made. She had forgiven Catra, and there had been much more bad blood between them. If her friends say that Hordak is alright, then she’ll trust them instead of her doubts.
Maybe a soak will alleviate her head from all this thinking.
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a-really-bi-girl · 5 years
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You make me smile - Keanu Reeves
A lovely anon requested Keanu x number 8 of my promt list.
Enjoy!
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Keanu looked out of his window into the garden.
"I just don't know what to do" he tells his best friend on the other side of the phone.
"Just spend some time with her!" Alexandra said to him. " Just go downstairs and ask her how her day is"
"Alex we have been living in the same house for over a month, I know exactly how her day is." Keanu says as he saw you entering the garden, right on time.
You wore a oversized sweater and black yoga pants. Your hair was pulled back into a bun, making it easier for you to read your script. Even though it was autumn you enjoyed working outside.
"Correction I know how everyone's day is" Keanu said while he looked at you. He and all the other Marvel actors had been staying in one big Villa while shooting Avengers 5.
You were cast as Squirrel Girl and Keanu as Ghost Rider. The two of you didn't had a lot of scenes together but you quickly became friends.
You met a month ago while boarding the fight at Schiphol airport to LA.
The two of you spend hours talking about each other's movie's, interest, families and awkward moments.
At some point the flight attendants had to ask the two of you to be quiet, so that the other passengers could sleep.
But you weren't tried, so you decided to watch a movie together before eventually falling asleep against each other.
You grew closer and closer every day and it felt like you have known each other for your entire lives.
Keanu smiled while you bit the end of your pencil. You were reading your script and making notes about how you wanted Doreen to act in certain situations.
"That's creepy Keanu" Alexandra laughed "Just ask her out!"
"What is she says no, I mean I'm way older than her. What if she thinks I'm a freak?" He asked.
Keanu had liked you for a while now and he knew exactly the moment he fell for you.
---
Two weeks ago the group got lost in the middle of a forest, so to survive the night a shelter must be made. Everyone was arguing about the best way to do it or other plans to get put, except you.
You just got to work. With only ropes and a large canvas you made a shelter big enough for everyone.
"I don't know about you guys but I'm going to bed."you said before climbing into the shelter.
Keanu laid next to you that night and because of the cold you quickly laid in each other's arms. He played with your hair as he pulled you closer to him.
Keanu heard the leaves fall onto the ground as you rested your head on his chest. "I always loved this sound" You said to him with your eyes closed and ears focused on the forest.
Keanu looked at the small smile that appeared on your lips as a you heard the sound of a twig snapping.
You were so sweet, so smart, so pretty, so funny and so pure. When he was with you he felt at peace, like the whole world stopped.
He couldn't get enough of you and he felt weird when you weren't around, he wasn't hungry and he couldn't sleep. Keanu just couldn't stop thinking about you.
He placed a small peck on your forehead before placing his head on top of your. 'i think I'm falling for you' he taught to himself as he held you close.
--
"She won't, if everything you told me about her is at least a little true she would be happy to go on a date with you" Alexandra said.
Keanu looked as how you covered your feet with a pillow as it became a little colder outside.
"Thanks Alex , I will ask her right now" Keanu said while picking his script of his desk.
"Goodluck!"
----
"Rolls eyes at and with Tippie while crossing her arms" You mumble as you write it down on a post it before sticking it next to one of your lines.
You close your eyes while trying to reenact the scene. The wind distracted you when it blew your pillow away.
"Great" you mumbled while wrapping your arms around yourself, trying to warm yourself up.
"Would you like a blanket?" A warm voice asked you. You looked up and stared saw that it was Keanu, he had a warm smile on his face as he held two blankets under his arm and his script in his free hand.
"I would love one" You said smiling while you made place for him on the couch. He gave you a big fluffy blanket before he placed his script on the side table.
He wore dark blue jeans with a long sleeved white shirt. He had a bed head and his beard was trimmed. You heart began to beat faster just by looking at him.
"So did you enjoy last night?" Keanu asked you while he wrapped his blanket around his muscular body.
"I really did, although I sucked at salsa class" you joked while your cheeks turned pink, remembering that you stepped on his toes.
You placed your script next to you before wrapping your body with the blanket. Keanu sat down next to you and you felt your stomach turning upside down.
"I thought you were okay" He joked. Last night the whole crew followed a salsa class, Marvel liked to plan diverse activities so that the crew grows a closer to each other.
"No I wasn't , you on the other hand were amazing" You smiled while turning to the side to face him, you applauded for him and he just smiled at your silly action.
He looked into your eyes and you saw he was a little nervous."Is everything okay?" You asked concerned.
Keanu swallowed and nodded yes" There is something I have to tell you?" He said.
"Okay" you said while hoping everything was and is okay.
"It's more of a question"Keanu said while scooching close to you.
"I really like the moments we spent together and I'm really happy that I got to meet you. You make me smile without even trying. You brighten my day by just being yourself. What I wanted to ask if if you wanted to go on a date, with me?" Keanu tells and asked you softly.
You could see his posture change from insecure to relieved to nervous. Your mind raced as he asked you the question.
You smiled and played with your fingers while nodding yes. " I would love to go on a date with you" You replied as you looked up at Keanu, who had the biggest smile on his face.
He opened his blanket, proposing a cozy cuddle session. You push his hair behind his ear before sliding under his blanket against him, resting your head on his shoulder.
Both staring into the forest that surrounded the Villa.
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etherealwaifgoddess · 4 years
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More Time - Chpt.6
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Summary:  The guys finally make time for a date night after their first week back to work. Master list can be found HERE.
Warnings/ Content: More fluff! And a truly adorable tiny tipsy Steve. 
Word Count: 2.2k
Author’s Note: Oh boy, lovelies... it’s time we get our first peek at Emma! I’m so excited for what’s to come now that she’s arrived in their lives. Terribly sorry this is going up two hours later than usual. I got lost for the past few hours working on a reader x non-binary Bucky fic. I’ll probably never post it but omg I’m having so much fun writing it. Hope everyone is having a good weekend so far! XOXO  - Ash
Chapter Six
Friday was their first day off after working three days in a row. It felt luxurious to sleep in together and take their time planning a grocery trip over morning coffee and omelets. 
“Let’s go out and celebrate tonight.” Bucky suggested on their way back from the store. They had passed by the local bar countless times but had never bothered stopping in. Neither of them had ever really been drinkers and Steve had absolutely no tolerance for it anymore. Bucky found it endearing how after decades of not being able to get drunk Steve would flush from head to toe and giggle over everything after a single glass of wine. 
“We always say we’re gonna go. Might as well try it out.” Steve agreed with a shrug. 
After a long day of doing absolutely nothing, Bucky reminded Steve of their date night and took over the bathroom for what felt like an eon to get ready. 
“Come on!” Steve called as he flopped down on the bed. He had been ready to go for twenty minutes and couldn’t understand what on earth Bucky could still be doing in there. He’d gotten ready when he heard the shower turn off and he hadn’t been quick about it. Steve had paired his standard khakis with his nicest blue cashmere sweater. The one that Bucky said made his eyes glow impossibly blue. It had been a Christmas gift from Pepper and he loved how soft it was. 
Bucky emerged a few minutes later and the sight of him had Steve’s mouth going dry. Bucky had picked out a charcoal button up shirt and black skinny jeans that did unspeakable things for his thick thighs. His hair fell in soft waves to his shoulders, the top half pulled up in a small bun at the back of his head, and he had trimmed his beard so it was little more than dark scruff again. Steve couldn’t wait to feel it scraping across his skin and wondered how much of him would be covered in beard burn the following day. “You okay there, Rogers?” Bucky asked with a wicked smile. He knew exactly what he was doing.
Steve swallowed and nodded. “Just peachy.” He said through a tight throat.
“You still want to go out or would you rather stay in?” Buck sauntered over to where Steve had sat up on the edge of the bed. 
Steve looked up at Bucky, fighting for control over his raging hormones. “You look too good to be at home on a Friday night.” He told him honestly. “I wanna take you out and show you off a little.” 
Bucky preened at Steve’s words, “I don’t know, I think you’ll be the one getting shown off. I love that sweater on you. You look like every good dream I’ve ever had come to life.” 
“Mm. Smooth talker.” Steve all but purred as Bucky leaned down to kiss him. 
It was with great difficulty they pulled themselves apart to head down the block for dinner but they managed after several whispered promises of ‘later’. 
Matty’s Bar was sweltering inside despite the frigid February weather. They shucked their coats and gloves off as soon as they found two open seats on the far side of the bar where it was quieter. Bucky couldn’t help his smile watching Steve clear the fog from his glasses and struggle up onto the tall barstool. It was so much like their dance hall nights in the ‘30s that his heart ached with fondness. The bar wasn’t overly crowded, most people staying home because of the cold, but it was still a Friday night in the city. They looked around admiring the old school dive bar ambiance with framed pictures on every wall, the obligatory mirrored wall behind the bar, and the dark wood surfaces everywhere. It was inviting in its simplicity; the kind of place you could come to alone and still feel like you were a part of something. Steve wished they had ventured in sooner and Bucky had to agree. The menu was basic but they didn’t need anything fancy. Hell, everything was fancy in the twenty first century compared to what they’d had back in The Great Depression. 
The bartender was busy but made time to smile down at them and hold up a finger signaling she’d be another minute. Bucky’s gaze lingered on her and Steve took a second glance to see what had caught Bucky’s eye. He watched as the bartender hurried down to their end of the bar, a bright smile on her face as she greeted them and set out napkins for drinks. It was obvious what had caught Bucky’s attention because she had captured Steve’s too. The woman looked like she was in her mid to late twenties and was a good inch or two shorter than Steve with hair so long it swayed in a thick auburn column all the way down to the small of her back despite being pulled up in a ponytail. Her full lips were pulled into a wide smile and her hazel eyes shone honey brown and moss green in the bar’s lowlight. It was difficult to see because of the bar but Steve appreciated the rounded curves of what he could see of her body. He wished he could draw her, so perfectly feminine and beautiful. He would make her a goddess reclining in the sea, nymphs floating above her, a modern day Birth of Venus. 
Thankfully Bucky was paying attention while Steve daydreamed. He ordered them each a Makers Mark on the rocks which the bartender had in front of them in a blink. “You ready to pick your jaw up off the floor?” Bucky whispered quietly into Steve’s good ear. 
“Shut up, jerk. I saw you making eyes at her too.” Steve replied just as quietly.
Bucky made a scoffing noise, “You’d have to blind not to make eyes at her.” 
“I’ll drink to that.” Steve clinked his glass against Bucky’s and the two men chuckled at their foolishness. It had been a lifetime since they had admired a pretty dame together and even longer still since they had taken one home together. 
They ordered a few plates to share when their drinks were finished and Steve was regretting drinking before eating. Bucky ordered another whiskey while Steve sensibly stuck to water for a bit until he could get some food in him. Bucky’s version of the serum didn’t make him completely immune to the effects of alcohol but it would take significantly more than the average person and even then he only got a pleasant buzz. 
The bartender, who’s name they learned was Emma, gave Steve a sympathetic look when she handed him his water and promised their food was coming up soon. Bucky watched her as she moved back down to the opposite end of the bar to help other patrons and Steve kicked him lightly. “You know, it’s not nice to be so smitten with someone other than your date.” He joked lightly. 
Bucky gave him a long, exasperated look, “You know I love you, punk. ‘Til the end of the line.”
Steve smirked and leaned over so he could rest his head against Bucky’s shoulder. He was blissfully happy to be able to take Bucky out on a real date without the fear of being beaten or jailed. It had taken some time after waking up from the ice to fully understand how much easier queer folk had it in the twenty first century and years later it still made him overjoyed. Being himself wasn’t a death sentence anymore. The world wasn’t perfect and there would always be homophobic people but it was nothing compared to the widespread hatred and fear they’d hidden from in the ‘30s and ‘40s. Back then, any time they had wanted to go out on a date they had to find a pair of girls to take along to be their “real” dates. It was always awkward and disappointing for all parties involved.
“What’cha thinkin’ about, Stevie? You’re awfully quiet.” Bucky asked pressing a kiss into Steve’s hair. 
“We have it so good, Buck.” Steve told him, still buzzed from the bourbon, “I never dreamed we’d have it this good.” 
“You and me both. But here we are.” Bucky tried not to dwell on the time he was with HYDRA and after he’d escaped when he truly believed he was nothing more than a weapon. The idea that he would be not just alive but thriving and in love would have been beyond anything he could have dreamed up back then. 
Emma swung down with their plates interrupting their suddenly maudlin moment. They tucked into the food and people watched as the crowd thinned out while a storm picked up outside. It was down to them and two other bar-flies by the time they finished their meal and were nursing another round of drinks. Steve felt like someone had loosened his bones as the bourbon hit his system again. His metabolism was shit and while he normally hated that, it was kind of nice to feel the warm buzz of alcohol again after so many years of not. 
“It’s getting bad out there.” Emma commented when she stopped by to check on them. “You guys live close by?” 
Bucky nodded, “Right down the block. We’re not afraid of a little snow though.” 
“Oh good. The city takes forever doing the sidewalks and it can be rough going.” 
“It’s sweet of you to worry, doll.” Bucky flashed her the grin Steve had seen melt even the hardest hearted old nuns at St. Agnes back in the day. Steve swooned a little just being in proximity to it. 
“Doll?” Emma snorted in amusement, seemingly immune to his charm. 
“Shit, sorry, I know that’s not polite anymore. I meant no disrespect.”
“What are you, eighty years old?” 
“Try a hundred and seven.” Steve giggled before he could stop himself. 
Bucky looked over, wide eyed at Steve who had not only outed their identities but honest to god giggled. Emma chuckled but was assessing them, wondering what the joke was. Bucky pulled the sleeve up a little on his left arm, exposing more of the shining dark metal, the gold accents catching in the light. 
“Oh.” Emma murmured. There was no mistaking that arm. “Wow.” She failed for words again. “But you’re…” she looked at Steve, recognizing him from the history books but not understanding how he was at least a foot shorter than when she’d seen him on TV a year ago. 
Steve watched her confusion with amusement. He hadn’t been recognized since the incident and he was too tipsy to care. “Shhh.” He held a finger up to his lips conspiratorially. “Bruce made a whoops and I went weeee” Steve made a shrinking motion with his forefinger and thumb causing Bucky to lay his head down on the bar in embarrassment.
“Wow.” Emma repeated, unsure of what to say to that. 
Bucky lifted his head, ready to get his inebriated partner home and tucked into bed. “Sorry, someone doesn’t know how to hold his liquor anymore.”
“It’s okay,” Emma assured him, “I’m a total lightweight too. I can cash you guys out if you want.” 
“Yeah, that would be great. And if you could just not, ya know…” Bucky hated having to ask for her silence but the last thing they needed was the world knowing what had happened to Steve.
“Oh!” Emma exclaimed, knowing exactly where he was going. “No, of course not. You guys deserve your privacy just like anyone else.” 
Bucky was relieved, sensing the honesty in her voice. “Thank you. Not everyone feels that way.” 
Emma nodded sympathetically and handed him their check. Bucky made sure he left a more than generous tip before helping Steve into his coat. “Come on, big guy. We gotta get you home to bed.” He told him placatingly. 
“Mmm. I like our bed.” Steve mused. 
Bucky slung an arm around Steve’s narrow shoulders and steered him towards the door. “Come on pal, keep it moving or I’ll pick you up and carry you, like it or not.” 
Steve giggled and waved over-enthusiastically at Emma who bit back a laugh and waved goodbye to him. 
Back in the safety of their apartment Bucky helped Steve undress and practically poured him into bed.
“Hey Buck.” Steve said in a too loud whisper, “It’s later. Remember? Later…”  He wasn’t any closer to sober but Steve Rogers had always been a feisty little shit and some things never changed. 
Bucky was tempted, he always was by Steve, but he wasn’t about to start something up when Steve would most likely be asleep within minutes. Bucky grasped the hand that was busy exploring and held it close to his chest. “I know, but it’ll be later later too and right now you need sleep.” 
“Aww Buck no.” Steve whined. 
“Come ’ere and I’ll even let you be the little spoon.” 
Steve rolled over in a whirlwind of blankets and blonde hair, scooting back so Bucky could wrap himself around him. “I love the little spoon.” He said sleepily. 
“I know, pal. Get some rest.” Bucky buried his nose in Steve’s hair and listened to the sound of Steve’s breathing evening out as he drifted off to sleep.
Tag list lovelies: @godofplumsandthunder​ @remilupin22​ @supraveng​ @hiddles-rose​
If anyone wants added or removed please lmk!
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multiversedom · 4 years
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-A project for a campaign organized by @aliveforjungkook.bts on Instagram-
Disclaimer: !!LONG PARAGRAPH AHEAD!! Aight I'm bouta get real dramatic and sentimental so skip this post if you feel like ya'll will cringe :) #BTSSelfloveproject #LovemyselfforBTS #LoveyourselfforBTS #SpeakyourselfforBTS ~Well now gaining confidence isn't as quick as flipping a switch. But it can be easier having support by your side. That's where I've always been lucky at, I have numerous great pillars holding me up and I'm so thankful for each and every single one of them, I hope you know who you are. Having family supporting you is the best thing. Again, that's where I got very lucky. My brother has always been my side, he was the first one to give me the boost. Always encouraging me to keep going and practicing until I get it all right. He's a huge reason for my motivation without knowing it, one of the people that make me want to be a better person. Then my friends came along. My 6 yr old self is shook. She can't believe she knows the meaning of friends finally, honestly neither can I. The amount of people who support me is crazy, some do so without knowing. Another amazing thing in life is having someone you can grow with. Again I got lucky at that too. One of my best friends helped me become the cool, swaggy person I am today 😎✌ taught me many things. And became another reason for me to be better. Many strangers have helped me too. The littlest “keep going” comments are one of my biggest motivations. Now on an art journey, many artists I follow have been another reason for me to keep going. I'm determined to be at least a decent artist one day and this is the time when I need the most support and push so I'm very thankful to have so many inspiring teachers. On another note, I've never considered myself insecure. Sure, I wasn't the most confident about my appearance but it was kind of an on/off thing. Sometimes, I'd overthink. Other times, eh I didn't really think about it AT ALL. This is where my brother comes in, the little things he says makes me feel so warm and welcomed. The way he always tells me he loves when I laugh out loud suddenly, which brought me to tears because everyone has told me I laugh too loud and it's not “ladylike”, he loves when when I'm being a crackhead and making jokes that make no sense. At first it was just him but now I've got what feels like millions. Telling me everyday how much they love me being me. Insecurities don't always have to be about appearance. Frankly, my appearance is the last thing I'm insecure about. I'm always very conscious about my words, my thoughts, my opinions and hence, I've always just ignored my own perspective and instead agreed with the other personʼs because it made me feel like they won't criticize my mind. I've kinda been conscious about my mind, this sounds stupid but I get told alot that I think like a kid and I should act more like a 15 yr old should. My brother is one of the reasons those thoughts disappeared. Last night,I was talking about society being pressuring and just some other stuff and he just looked at me with proud wide eyes and said “gosh when did you grow up?” with a smile on his face followed by a squeezing hug. I couldn't stop smiling knowing I made him proud. Now that I'm typing this out, I realized that I'm also conscious about being behind. I always feel like I have to be good at everything to make people content and live up to their expectations. But life has been not so generous with that and I just feel like I can't be good at anything. I also believe that everything happens for a reason and it all takes time. I've always been the kind to just think that everything gets better with time. Patience can be rewarding. I just convince myself to keep going, working my way up, making my own path and eventually I will get there. I love myself, I love my humor, and now I'm starting to love my mind too. You may find this weird but I love my hands. I have (kind of) long fingers and nails although they're always trimmed and I just really like them. I like my lashes too because they're naturally thick and a decent length. I like my hair because it's naturally very thick. I like my lips because they're naturally tinted pink although they're a bit big and plumpy so that tends to bother me sometimes as I love thin long lips. (no hate towards plump lips tho) but I'm starting to love that too because of Jimin and Jin XD I saw how everyone loves Jiminʼs and Jinʼs plump lips and I couldn't help but feel a spark of confidence and appreciation for mine too. I'm very comfortable with myself. Basically Bts are not the only people that have helped me love myself and I kind of consider that very lucky of myself. Although they certainly have made me feel unconsciously happy. I'm very lucky I have so many people walking by my side on this journey, helping me with directions. I'm the luckiest person alive to have so many amazing, encouraging, loving and supportive people in my life~ FOR YOU: hey you! Hiii I love you okay? Do your best, I'm proud of you. Keep going. If you're going through something rn, know that you're not alone, I hope it will get better one day, soon,i hope. And then when you look back on this time, you'll be so proud of yourself bud, for making it through, for fighting. You're beautiful, absolutely gorgeous. Inside and out. Smile, it looks beautiful on you. You are so so worth it. I hope you know that or you can realize it. Take care of yourself like you would take care of a diamond for you are just as precious, even more actually. I love you so much, thank you for being here. I feel you by my side though I may not know you. Keep yourself healthy, love. Stay safe and don't pressure yourself. Give yourself breaks, relax, it will work out, I hope. I wish you a happy, healthy and successful life ahead, one full of love because that's what you deserve. Everyone deserves love and happiness, those are two things no one should be lacking. You nice, keep going. I love you and I'm so proud of you. 💜 I purple you, if any Army is reading this hehe -Feel free to join this campaign if you're interested or maybe share the word around. i feel like this project may make many people realize what they really do love about themselves and what they're proud of. Keep in mind it doesn't have be Bts related. Just YOUR journey and the bumps YOU faced along the way and who walked beside you. You can share how much ever you're comfortable with. Message @aliveforjungkook.bts on instagram for more info. Keep shining little stars and make the world twinkle-
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hcrofraid · 5 years
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Rules:
HALLO THERE! Here’s my rules! They’re a bit long, but hopefully you can push through ‘em and we can get a chance at interaction!
1. Themes might vary with this blog. Although I’m typically SFW, I might touch upon dark topics here and there.
Things will be tagged! I’ll try my best, anyways. If you want something in particular tagged, please let me know. The format I use for tagging is, for example, tw: swearing.
I don’t have any triggers but I do ask you tag all of your NSFW content.
That said, I won’t do anything NSFW - gore is okay, though.
I’m of age.
2. I‘m a little selective, but otherwise - I’m open to canon, au, crossover, and original characters! As long as their muns rp literately/write para.
If it’s a crossover, I have to know the fandom and be at least a little bit confident with it. This is so I’m able to work with you, our thread and have muse for it.
Absolutely no godmodding. It ain’t fun, fam. If you’re not sure what this term means, do look it up. This includes powerplaying, metagaming, and other things of that nature. This applies especially in fights if they happen (I’m chance-based and hope that you are too). 
I can be picky with OCs. But rest assured, if you’ve followed me/interacted with my promo, I’ll always give your pages a read.
Please don’t be offended if I don’t want to interact with you (and please don’t try to guilt me into doing so!). 
As for following back, I usually take a week tops to do so - but if you’ve hit up my promo, I go through that eventually.
As I’ve said, I’m selective and as a result mutuals do take priority - but I don’t have to be following you for you to interact with me. It just means I’m more likely to interact with you if you’re a mutual.
3. Please don’t rush me for starters or responses.
PLEASE understand that I have blogs galore and my muse tends to fluctuate; this can mean I’m everywhere at once and can end up neglecting a blog or two. It’s nothing personal; you know how muses are! Additionally, life happens to be a thing.
Please note the mun deals with anxiety and depression - this might affect how frequently she roleplays.
Chances are, I’ve probably has seen that bit of interactivity and just haven’t gotten around to responding yet.
My roleplaying style being para/multi-para, I may take a while to respond. I hoard drafts like a dragon - it’s really just the motivation to write and ship those out.
Just a reminder I hoard all your asks too, even weeks later. If I don’t respond to it, I’m either keeping it for a rainy day, or just can’t find the muse/interest for it currently. If it’s been a month or two though, just assume it wasn’t working for me unless I’ve informed you otherwise.
4. Shippings? Heck yeah I’m down for the fluffy content, as long as they’re of similar age to my boio.
If I don’t happen to be interested, don’t force anything on my character.
I do not ship incestuous ships. Do NOT follow/interact if you do.
Sontails will not be happening on this blog either, sorry.
The ship has to have chemistry; I’m generally shipping trash, but if they don’t click, they don’t click, sorry.
This is a multi-ship blog, meaning there will be more than one ship without them conflicting with eachother.
If you want to ship and I already have a ship of your choosing going with a duplicate, please don’t hesitate to hmu! My ships aren’t exclusive and each character/relationship portrayal is unique to me!
Relationships are eternal until you deem otherwise.
5. Whilst I am of age, I’m not aiming for sexual content on this blog (and will not be dealing with fetishes). That stuff makes me uncomfortable, and I typically don’t recommend pulling it with my character if you’re interacting with me. Nonetheless, should it arise, I will tag it appropriately. Also, Tails is a child. So no.
6. About reblogs…
I am not a meme source, and reblogs clog up my activity. Please reblog any memes you find on this blog from their SOURCE. The exception to this rule is if there is no source; go ahead.
I don’t feel comfortable with Personals reblogging my IC or OOC posts, so please don’t do that. If I put something in the fandom tags for whatever reason (bar promos), you’re free to, though.
Please don’t reblog my art unless I’ve drawn it specifically for you or said you can. I either have that as do not reblog for a reason, or I am planning to post it on my art blog at some point.
A few times is fine, as it happens, but repeatedly breaking these rules will result in me soft blocking you.
I try to participate in reblog karma as much as I can, but always reblog from the source/a meme source.
If a post or ask is for you, you’re free to reblog it to save it though - but only if you’re an rp blog!
7. I’m a para / multi-para blog, novella if I’m adventurous and have time. Whilst I may roleplay crack threads with shorter responses, this does not apply to all threads I write. This means:
I write my replies as detailed as I can muster.
Short responses (such as one-liners) in more serious threads where I’ve written a decent deal can instantly kill my muse for that thread.
Whilst I’d prefer for partners to at least somewhat match my length, it’s entirely up to you - just try your best and make sure you give me enough to work with. ♡
If my muse happens to go nuts out of nowhere - like, overboard - don’t stress too much about matching them.
If para roleplays aren’t your alley, I’m unlikely to roleplay with you. It’s nothing personal; it’s just finding muse for one-liner threads is incredibly difficult unless it’s dash shenanigans. Anything else outside that is fine, though - we can still have fun outside of proper threads.
If you need further context on the AU, the link to it’s tag is here! Otherwise just ask me!
Tails’ AU is one I’m very proud of and very attached to, so please don’t force your headcanons about him on me. If you’re unsure how certain events play out in the context of his universe, don’t hesitate to ask me about them!
That said, anything that might take place on this blog obviously isn’t canon to the AU itself; I just like writing for this boio and it helps me develop his character. It’s all hypothetical.
Additionally! Don’t worry too much if the headcanoned relationships between Tails and other muses don’t match yours. Those are mostly just guidelines for how Tails would USUALLY interact with your muse. I’m open to altering these relationships to better fit our threads! Don’t ever feel restricted to what I put down; it’s mostly just for context purposes because, well, Tails is absent. I’m an IM away for plotting.
8. Threads typically happen naturally with me, but if you’re looking for interaction opportunities:
I’ll have a permanent starter call somewhere for you to hit up; honestly though, if you’re a mutual? Pls feel free to hit it up.
Starter memes are the BEST way to interact me because they just yeet a prompt at my face and really help me write starters. If you see me reblog one, send one!
If there’s a verse you’re interested in, please specify.
If you want to turn an ask into a thread, go ahead!
I may not roleplay with every starter I am given - I’ll do a ‘background check’ if you’re a new blog on the block. If I don’t feel your writing style/length works with mine, I might not respond. Apologies. ;__;
Please don’t write para / novella starters up for me unless we’ve discussed something, sent something, or I’ve liked a starter call. I really don’t want to leave people hanging if I’m not interested.
IMs are open to mutuals, if you want to do any in-depth plotting.
I also have Discord! If you’re mutuals with me, feel free to ask for it!
9. Guidelines on mains and relationships:
If we’re mutuals and we interact a lot, you’re welcome to ask me if I’d like to be your main!
Please note that MAINS fall into two categories; one pertaining to Tails’ initial universe, and those pertaining to alternates. Although the latter is plenty, for clarity’s sake, there would be one alternate Tails might default to.
Please don’t be offended if I deny, though; I typically want to pick those I trust to be my mains as well as people I can comfortably write with.
Not limited to them! I roleplay with duplicates galore so don’t be afraid to hit me up if you want to interact!
Pre-established relationships are a-okay in my book; if you have an idea for a relationship between our muses we can work towards, hit me up! I reblog those pre-established relationship memes every so often too. Romantic relationships link back to the shipping guidelines.
Also, friendship/family/rivalry relationships are EXTREMELY valid to me. GIMME’ ALL THE PRECIOUS BONDING CONTENT PLS. THIS BOY NEEDS FRIENDS.
10. If you have any issues, please let me know and hopefully we can resolve it!
Mun is actually super nice, so don’t be afraid to hit her up!
I am absolutely terrible with IMs and sometimes even Discord. I either respond quickly or days later, depends on my mood. Social anxiety tends to interfere with this - but honestly, if you’ve sent something, I’ve likely read it and just haven’t gotten around to it yet! It’s nothing personal; trust me! I just need a social breather every now and again.
Please leave me out of drama; I’m here to have a good time, as is everyone else, and it pains me to see people arguing.
11. It’s easier with a clean dash for me, so I’m more likely to follow people who:
Trim their posts.
Have rules and about pages! I always read those before interacting or following!
If you don’t have either of those, I’m likely not to follow you - so make sure that you do!
12. On threads…
If you’re not interested in a thread anymore, and would like to drop it, please let me know! I’d feel terrible if we’re both not having fun with it or if partners feel overwhelmed with the amount of threads we have.
Honestly, unless I let you know, our threads have no expiry date - so no need to worry about me dropping them without telling you. I can just be quite slow sometimes.
13. Mun does not equal muse! Anything Tails might say does not reflect on how I think unless I explicitly say so.
14. Know that if I follow you, I WANT to interact with you.
I literally couldn’t care less about follower counts. I care about YOU guys and our interactions.
15. If you’re OKAY with threads being set in Tails’ universe (and acting as his inverse counterparts), please like / reply to this post! It just lets me know I’m A-OK to shoot you asks pertaining to it, rather than the usual alternate shenanigans.
16. These rules may be subject to change.
Please like this post if you’ve read the rules! You don’t have to, but it’s of personal reassurance to me if you have.
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