#TOO MANY COOKS IN THE KITCHEN

[thatbadadvice]

Help! My Girlfriend Didn't Appreciate The Awesome Present I Gave her

Dear Prudence, Slate, 9 January 2023:

Dear Prudence, 

My girlfriend thinks I’m trying to undermine her. How do I prove to her I’m not? My girlfriend “Katie” (33F) and I (30M) have been dating for three months, and so far it had been going very well. I even thought we could become very serious. However, something has changed, and I’m worried that she’s getting cold feet.

This all started a few days ago, when my parents dropped by my place to chat. Katie was in the kitchen, making the two of us dinner. My parents and Katie have met a couple of times before, and they seem to get along. Additionally, Katie’s normally very calm and easygoing. However, when my mom walked into the kitchen to help out, Katie seemed to become irritated. She said that she “prefers to cook alone,” and when my mom grabbed a knife and some carrots and started to chop them up for her, Katie asked her not to cut them because they have to be cut “a certain way.” Katie told my mom that she didn’t want help and demanded that she go back into the living room area.

I’d never seen Katie this upset, and I wasn’t happy with how she treated my mom. When my mom left the kitchen, I hugged her and said, “Sorry about that.” I asked Katie what was going on and she said nothing, but at the time, I was alarmed and suspicious. Later that evening, I had to get some groceries, and while I was at the supermarket, I decided to pick up some Midol as a nice gesture. I didn’t know if Katie was on her period, but knowing that she isn’t normally this irritable, it seemed possible to me and if she was, she might appreciate the gift. When I got back, Katie was watching the World Cup, and I silently placed the Midol on top of her bag. Katie gave me a weird look and asked why I had bought her Midol, and I said it was because of how she had acted with my mother earlier.

Katie did not like this explanation. She said she was annoyed because she didn’t want someone interfering with her cooking, not because she was on her period. She said it made her think that I don’t take her feelings seriously and am trying to “undermine the legitimacy of her emotions.” I explained that this wasn’t true, but I don’t know if she believed me. I think the damage might have been done. How can I salvage the relationship and win back Katie’s trust? — Midol Mishap

Dear Midol Mishap,

Does Katie usually have a problem with self-soothing, or does it mostly happen during meals where people enter her space uninvited and intentionally disregard her stated preferences when she tends to act out like this? Does bedtime/bathtime usually go okay? Can you drop her off at the office without tears and a tantrum? Figuring out the answer to this question will reveal the extent to which this relationship can be salvaged, but I think you're in for an uphill battle if silently leaving a box of bitch pills on a woman's purse doesn't have her running back into your arms with relief and appreciation for the thoughtful care you showed her while she was being a real cunt.

Usually women appreciate being told that their emotions are wrong, and welcome thoughtful explanations from men about how the things they have felt and experienced are incorrect due to being incongruent with a man's feelings and experiences. But some women, and it sounds like Katie might be one of them, lack the self-awareness necessary to recognize that the things they believe they think they interpret as being insulting, disrespectful, and patronizing are not that way because some dude somewhere said so.

It might be worth opening up a dialogue with your mother about how to handle Katie; I don't mean to suggest that all women are the same (that would be sexist, yikes!) but you have both experienced what it is like to be under the thumb of someone as cruel and controlling as Katie, and you may be able to offer each other some comfort while you figure out how to get the woman you've been fucking for three months back on the right path, in terms of her behavior and emotional regulation. Meds are a great start — Midol is an absolute miracle drug for shutting down an ungrateful cow — but you can't just crush it up over Katie's ice cream every night.

The right solution is going to necessarily involve some effort on Katie's part to tell you only what you want to hear and agree with everything you say, and she might just not be mature enough to do that kind of hard internal work right now. A lot of people wouldn't — they'd say they have a right to assert boundaries, be taken seriously as full human beings, and not have their legitimate concerns belittled as mere hormonal hysterics of an unstable female — but it's possible Katie is capable of real change. The next time she has one of her little episodes, try using a little babydoll to coax Katie into seeing what a silly little monkey she's being when she rejects the precious opportunity to bond with your sweet mama by letting her do whatever she wants no matter what. Katie could speak directly to the doll about how she believes she thinks feels until she's ready to express the emotions you want her to have.

If you try this, you might want to wait until after dinner, when the knives are put away, just in case. Best of luck, dear boy!

[annieqattheperipheral]

looking so blond and sooooo good

That last gif-- he lost he's about to table-hockey table-flip

no i joke he's not bc he's acting and in character. My goodness ppl, show some respect. this is union actor nathan mackinnon he's mentored by two-time Emmy winner sidney crosby

natemac making some of that bank money [lucille bluth: good for her!] with some weirdass commercial trying to do far too many things at once (see my tags)

[emeraldoodles]

Thursday, March 28th - Food

Mrs. Serizawa is teaching Kastuya how to cook, so he can stop living off instant noodles. Today is a hearty beef & leak stew!

Mrs. Serizawa: Remember, the leaks need to be thoroughly washed.

Kastuya: Nods, Nods!

Mrs. Serizawa: Also, the more passion and enjoyment you put into your cooking will reflect in the final dish. So, relax and take it slow and your love will shine through.

[tirayed]

Reminding y’all that his ass CAN cook

[icewindandboringhorror]

More misc. daily life pictures and such

[lenin-it-to-win-it]

me rereading my own fics and wondering how they havent won a nobel prize in literature: i mustve peed the bed the way my drip is being slept on.jpg

[soldier-poet-king]

Ohhhh we are going to Have A Problem at work tomorrow and it's basically entirely my fault!!!!

We are in the process of transferring to redacted software which I pushed for because it's the best option and our current one is as old as I am. I was under the impression that it did this one specific thing (in addition to all its core functions), turns out, it ONLY does that specific thing if 1) you pay a lot of extra money or 2) host it locally and not thru the manufacturer/company (not happening in this workplace given v limited IT resources). There is no other alternative program that maintains this level of functionality, at this price, with relatively little staff maintenance (aside from my position) (so really it's not ENTIRELY my fault, even had I not been mistaken, there isn't any feasible alternatives out there given the limitations put on budget and manpower)

So now it's like. Well. The core functionality is certainly there still, and tbh I don't think we even NEED this function, imo. It's not standard for literally ANYONE in the field, not the govt, not big unis, no one. There are work arounds, just less convenient and more time consuming. And REALLY it's not crucial, my boss only thinks it's crucial because she's very attached to this 20+ yr old system, and things here are done in a very, imo, slapdash manner, and not according to current best practice and strict procedure adherence. If we functioned like a proper archive and not Like This, doing touchy feely bullshit instead of like. Actual archival work. This wouldn't even be a problem.

AND ofc bc I'm computer literate and she is mostly not, I am going to be trying to explain all this in a way that is going to be difficult to get the bare concepts across, let alone what the actual issue is

Tomorrow morning is going to be. Interesting

[cow-tag]

since i just reblogged saying smthn about casey being able to cook i think i should share with you this thought i had like a month ago while cooking dinner

So, and just hear me out on this, April isn't BAD at cooking. she can do it. She just. Shes not too good at the flavor part on her own. she has to follow a recipe or it will be dry, bland, and overall a. not bad but NOT GOOD. experience.

So, within the farmhouse arc, April is cooking dinner. Casey walks in, makes a couple jokes about being married, yadda yadda, normal casey stuff. Then he sees. then he sees the bland mess that she is cooking. i'm talking chicken with no seasoning other than salt.

Casey: not even pepper?

April: It's a bit too spicy for my tastes..

Casey:

[vilecrocodile]

i dont care that saw x news has ppl online being like "if you legitimately enjoy saw youre warped and twisted and evil and from hell" type of takes. believe all that shit and leave me alone

[petewentzwombtattoo]

i think about running away a lot and honestly if i weren't as paranoid and distrusting of my mum then i probably would have by now. can we get a round of applause in chat for paranoia and untrustworthy parents

[joelletwo]

theres no damn reason that shouyou couldnt have reverse uno taken over the takasugi body.

[detectivechen]

the way chenford got treated with the same care that my checked luggage gets on an international flight will forever be a bitter pill to swallow

[secondbeatsongs]

hey legit tho, if I can figure out my streaming setup for it, I think it’d be fun to do a baking stream on twitch sometime

this depends on a lot of things ofc (streaming software running on my old laptop, for one) but I have Evil Plans™ that I’ve been thinking about for a while, and hopefully somehow I can get them to happen

[montanabohemian]

i just watched this video on youtube about a $12 million dollar house and while it was in fact stunning, the thing i couldn't get past was the fact that every single bedroom had their own washer and dryer. and i'm like, if i spend $12 million on an enormous house, i ain't doing laundry in my own fucking room. no way. there will be an entire room dedicated to that thank you very much. like what the fuck. you spent 11 years building this stunning chateau-like house and you give each bedroom that?! i don't know man, rich people are weird.

still want the house tho. hahahahaha. where's my rich sugar daddy when i need him.

[liquidstar]

to be honest wonder egg and to your eternity kind of have the same issue of “throwing too much unnecessary contrived bullshit in the story to spice things up that actually ends up detracting from what made the concept good to begin with”