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#IM MOPPING UP THE FLOOR
polarfarina · 5 months
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Steve loves a clean car. His BMW is always neat, in and out. He forces the kids to take all their garbage with them as they spill out of his car and looks for leftover crumbs after they ate, absolutely not caring when he begs them not to. He washes it thoroughly every Saturday morning, never skipping it. Everyone knows it's his busy morning, and don't bother him. Usually Robin comes over and makes herself at home, but she knows he won't even look at her until he's done.
"You don't think it's a bit much?" Eddie arrived a few minutes after Steve started cleaning one morning. It was a hot day and Steve was in his old short basketball pants, and wasn't wearing a shirt. He had music blasting from the car radio, and he ignored Eddie completely.
"Stevie," he tried again, walking closer to him, "come on..." He batted his eyelashes and smiled teasingly.
"Eddie, please," Steve said impatiently while scrubbing the back windshield. "I'm cleaning."
"I can see that, and that's why I'm asking, don't you think it's a bit much? you do it every week."
"No, I don't. It's important to me." He took a deep breath, not letting Eddie ruin this for him.
"I don't get it," Eddie shrugged, "it'll get dirty again the second all your munchkins get in tomorrow, so what's the point?" He leaned against the car with his hand, imprinting his palm on the window.
Steve was getting visibly angry now, trying to talk without raising his voice, "the point, Eddie, is that it's important to me, okay?" He threw the dirty rug into the soapy water bucket, crouching down to clean and reuse it, "please, make yourself busy, find something inside to eat, get in the pool, I don't care. just- please, let me finish."
Eddie shrugged again, "as you wish, Stevie boy, enjoy your pointless task." and he disappeared into the big house.
Steve pinched his nose bridge and took a deep breath, and then got back to his routine.
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Steve woke up spooning Eddie from the back. He took a short look at his watch to see it wasn't even 6am. It was a Tuesday, and both of them didn't have work until the afternoon, so technically he could just go back to sleep and enjoy a late morning, but a plot has started to write itself in his head.
He stayed there for a few more minutes, hearing Wayne coming in and going straight to his room after his shift, and then he slowly detached himself from Eddie, doing his very best not to wake him up. He successfully got out of bed and out of the room, and closed the door behind him.
He opened the cupboard under the kitchen sink, looking for cleaning supplies. He found a sponge, some rugs and a bucket, a window cleaning solution and dish soap. He sighed and took them all out, and then grabbed a few plastic bags and slowly got out of the trailer, trying not to drop anything.
When he placed everything on the gravel, the sun started to come out and birds were chirping. He took a deep breath in, he loved the morning air, before everyone woke up it felt cleaner, somehow.
He opened the hose and started filling up the bucket with water, and added the dish soap. He then threw in the sponges and rugs and let them soak.
He opened the front door of Eddie's van, prepared for a mess, but not that much of a mess. Actual food was all over the floor, which made Steve wonder how the pedals even work. The dashboard was sticky and empty snack packages were all over the place, but mostly stuck between the chairs. Steve couldn't blame it all on Eddie, because he knew the Corroded Coffin guys took the van sometimes too. He also couldn't remember when was the last time he actually was in the van. When they went out together they almost always took Steve's car, mostly because Eddie's driving made Steve fear for his life, but maybe also because he just didn't feel comfortable in Eddie's car? He couldn't tell.
He started picking up trash into a plastic bag. In the beginning he went slowly, trying to touch as little as he can, but when his hand dipped in a brown thing he hoped was melted chocolate, he gave into it and grabbed piles of dirt, filling bag after bag.
When he was done with that, he started hitting the seats, making crumbs and sand and probably living things jump into the air. He then took out the car's carpets and shook them from all the crumbs he just dropped on them, banging them on the ground and giving them a wipe with a soaped up rug. He cleaned the air-conditioning vents, the windows from the inside and made sure the stirring wheel didn't glue to his hands.
He finished the interior of the car after 6:30am. He shut the doors and opened the hose again. He sprayed water all over the big van, getting it all wet. Then he took the soap, and squeezed the bottle, covering the car with green stripes.
He took one of the sponges out of the bucket and started scrubbing. He scrubbed every single inch on the van, the windows, the door handles, the bumper, the licensing plates, the wheel rims and even the exhaust. He knew it didn't make sense, but he did it anyway.
He opened the water again, washing the car from all the foam, and watched the dirt dripping down, exposing a shiny van, that smelled like clean dishes. He took a dry rug and went over the entire van, wiping away the excess water and leaving it nice and ready to go.
He got rid of the now dirty water bucket, washed all the rugs and sponges and threw away the ones that weren't usable anymore. He took everything back inside, put it in its place and hopped in the shower.
When he joined Eddie in bed, the latter mumbled in his sleep, "where did you go..?"
Steve kissed him on the cheek, "just the bathroom," and he fell asleep again with Eddie in his arms.
The two boys woke up around 10am, stumbled out of bed and walked into the kitchen to make breakfast. Steve was cooking eggs while Eddie made them both coffee when he gasped and ran out of the trailer. Steve looked through the window to see Eddie running and then standing in front of the van in shock, turned off the stove and ran out too.
He placed himself next to Eddie who slowly turned his head towards him, "what the fuck..." He whispered.
"What?" Steve asked, innocently.
"Did you do that..?" Eddie was still half whispering, and opened the driver's door, "Steve!" He sat in front of the wheel, "this entire car smells like you! you did this!"
Steve completely forgot he sprayed his aftershave in the car when he finished cleaning. He also couldn't tell from Eddie's tone whether or not he was happy about this whole thing, so he just said, "yeah..?"
Eddie jumped back out and hugged Steve tightly, and then gave him a wet kiss on the cheek, "thank you."
Steve, who was utterly confused, pushed Eddie away a bit, examining his face, "are you okay?"
Eddie beamed, "of course I'm okay! my van is clean and smells like you, and you did this all for me. I honestly don't deserve you, Stevie."
"What??" Steve threw his hands, "I thought it'd piss you off! I did that to piss you off! why aren't you pissed off??!"
Eddie was the one confused now, "why would I be pissed off? also, why would you even want to piss me off in the first place?" he crossed his arms and tapped his bare foot on the gravel, trying to erase the amused expression off his face.
"Because," Steve opened, "You always annoy me and tease me about how me cleaning my car every week is pointless, so I thought you just hate clean cars altogether, so I decided to clean yours. You're supposed to be pissed because you think clean cars are pointless." He finished and crossed his arms too, mirroring Eddie.
Eddie started laughing, loud and hard, and came to hug Steve again, "Gosh, Stevie, my sweetheart, I love your clean car. I love how you're so tidy, I love to see how the kids subconsciously copy you and clean after themselves, I love how you always put everything back in place, I love how there are never dirty dishes in your sink, and never piles of dirty clothes waiting to be washed. I love how you mindlessly pick up my stuff around my room and dust the record player, I love how you change my bedsheets. If anything, me picking on you for cleaning your car was out of pure jealousy. I wish I was a bit more like you. I know we never take my car because it's so messy, but I wish I could drive you some places without feeling bad about the way it smells," Steve made a face and Eddie giggled, "Okay, I don't have to drive, but thanks to you, we actually can take the van now. It's a lot more compatible for road trips and camping. We can do those things now." He smiled and Steve smiled too.
"I'm sorry I did it behind your back..." Steve said looking down and Eddie held his chin back up.
"No, it's for the best. I don't think I'd be able to handle the embarrassment, seeing the condition of this car," he made a disgusted face, "thank you for bringing it back to a normal state. I promise I'll try to keep it as clean as I can." He put a hand on his heart and Steve released a chuckle.
"Yeah, okay," He raised an eyebrow, "or you can just ask me to do that, I actually do enjoy it."
Eddie rolled his eyes and pushed Steve into the van, "I still don't believe that, Stevie boy."
He started the car and they drove off, with Steve holding onto his seat and begging Eddie to slow down.
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ninja-knox-ur-sox-off · 5 months
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our tree fell over merry christmas ! [Breakdances]
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tojisun · 2 years
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toji slapping the head of his cock on your cheek and going, “open up nice and wide, princess.”
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lcevinolusola · 6 months
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confuddling-colors · 8 months
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I'm giving Cyan a little of the spotlight right now MOVE IT JUNIPER
“Oh. It’s for you. No need to be so rude about it..”
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“YELLOW LOOK!! IT’S ME! Oh my god, look they got all the details- can I explode now?”
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orcelito · 7 months
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So yeah I don't think I'm gonna manage ITNL update tonight. Too tired for writing brain. But I'm gonna keep working at it. Maybe tomorrow, if I'm lucky. If not then, then Monday.
The good news is I have Three days off next week (decadent!) So I'm gonna have more time for. Things.
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chartreuxcatz · 2 months
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At work I spent... maybe a little less than an hour scraping gunk off a floor that hasn't been cleaned in god knows how long and now my body hurts.
And its not even done yetttt
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prettyboykatsuki · 3 months
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modern au with john martson where you are a software engineer who desperately needs a break and he’s giving you one with his fingers slipped under your briefs murmuring “there’s my smart girl” as you moan softly under his calloused fingers
This is so specifically curated to me you evil sick wretched beast im going to send one thousand pounds of dynamite to your house to fuckingkill and explode you into one thousand pieces youre si sick for this youre sick and you’re going to hell
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polithicc · 6 months
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did you guys know that laundry is a lot more manageable if you fold and put away things as you take them out of the dryer??? literally what the fuck, no one told me this trick
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dark-elf-writes · 11 months
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How to explain to people without chronic pain that I bathed my dog, cleaned the house, and still have so much more to do and will very likely not be able to sit upright in like two hours.
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sparklingpax · 1 year
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About that 18th episode of Masterforce.... The good thing is that Minerva didn't end up like Movieverse Jazz. Yikes
LMAO YEA TRUE (rip jazz tho 😔🤘🔥)
A harrowing experience but luckily, we can actually thank Sixknight for that!
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ALSO RELATED, THEYRE SO FUCKING TINY COMPARED TO HIM OH MY GODDD 💀✨✨✨ (edit: I've added an episode summary in the tags idk but anyone who sees and reads it tysm 🥺❤️)
-Kuni :3
#this episode is quite interesting like. Sixknight goes to the Decepticons like 'Im Cool Right Im Soooo Fearsome 😌' & megas like 'No lol'#he gets pissed#gets escorted out like an angey customer. blood & gilmer are like 'hey yk 😏 defeat a Godmaster 😏😏 then maybe we'll let u back in 👀'#he goes fuckin WILD on some random Location while Blood & Gilmer just watch like 🤔🤭#naturally Hawk + the kids + Waverider + Ginrai are all like 'ok who the FUCK 😐' and go to check it out and Sixknights like#'WHO ARE YOU IDIOTS WHERES GINRAI' and then Shuta is there and hes like 'HAH IVE FOUND GINRAI!!!1!1' & proceeds to beat up a confused Shuta#who didnt even get time to do anything other than go hUH#& then Actual Ginrai Shows Up and immediately mops the floor with Sixknight after watching him Show Off for like 10 minutes (ok maybe 3)#so THEN blood & gilmer are like 'hehE we'll fix this' and grab minerva to force like all the autobots to stand down and then Sixknight#gets so mad at Ginrai for not fightng back like 'NO WE'RE NEMISISES FIGHT ME >:C' figures out its cause Minerva#so he has her released (^^ cue the cute group hug between the kids & waverider & hawk!! ✨💓)#says something about human weeds (prob offending ginrai) then like 2 more minutes of 'hERES MY SIX PART ATTACK DIE 😝'#so ginrai loads up his gun#shoots ONCE. and thats it. fight is over. ginrai even turns back into a human to be like 'LOOK AT *THIS* WEED 🤪' (paraphrased)#ginrai takes the kids leaving sixknight in actual shambles as the sun sets behind him. narrators like 'will he be back?? who knows 😔🤫🙏'#gilmer and blood are all 'oh hes all show nvm 🙄' aS IF THESE FUCKERS HAVE EVER SUCCESSFULLY ACCOMPLISHED ANYTHING WITH MEANING AAJDGSKSKS#OH MY GOD I WENT OFF OOPS UM#anwyays:]#kuni talks#kuni answers#asks#anon asks#super god Masterforce#masterforce moment òwó 🥺💖✨#minerva#transformers stuff#transformers super god Masterforce#tf#transformers#<3
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silcoitus · 2 years
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God your works are so well written I'm-
I love how you know how to balance the "writer's will" with the personality of the character and God, the way you describe every scenario or moment with both descriptions and feelings!!
I'm impressed, really. Your stories are very addictive! :-)
Omg brwnicons I am— *furiously hides in a corner blushing intensely*
You have no idea how much this means to me 😭♥️ I really try to keep everyone in-character/believable but also throw in my desires in there bc what is writing if not wish fulfillment???
I have a Dropbox folder for screenshots of positive feedback that makes me happy and THIS IS GOING IN THERE IMMEDIATELY 😭♥️😭♥️😭♥️
I luv u
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orcelito · 7 months
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I'm doing soooo amazing (weeping) like so great and cool (crying) feeling amazing (sleep deprived)
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I finally got a load of dishes done though. This, at least, is worth celebrating.
#speculation nation#ive been putting dishes off for weeeeeks#it's better off without a before pic bc y'all dont wanna see what was in my sink before 😐#i will have clean bowls. and silverware. 🥺#i ate cold chef boyardee straight from the can this morning#bc i had no clean bowls and nothing i could possibly use instead. all tupperware used. all microwavable mugs and cups that would fit it#all plates with enough of a lip to hold canned pasta. all plates in general tbh aside from a few tiny plates.#so i ate it straight from the can and u cant microwave a can so i just ate it cold.#not my most dignified moment to be sure. but also not the lowest ive ever gone lmao#Still Pretty Low Tho#but yeah ill have clean dishes. and ill do a 2nd load tomorrow.#im gonna clean up the clutter from my floors. and try to confront the Clothes Problem....#i dont want to try mopping until after the showing if it happens bc im not gonna have random ppl dirtying my clean floors.#bc they WILL just wear their damn shoes inside bc this is america and no one has any fucking manners here.#but whatever. im gonna get my apartment approximately presentable. at least enough so im not mortified by it.#just bc im mental illness squatting here doesnt mean i want ppl to SEE it#thank god i got the worst things done yesterday tho. and today with the dishes.#remaining stuff is mostly just tidying. rather than going through The Horrors lol#sigh. im accomplishing things. unfortunately...#gonna go to bed soon. gotta be up nice and early for more cleaning! :D 😭
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andromedasummer · 2 years
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finally mustered up the courage and energy to clean my grody flat only for the vacuum cleaner to die halfway through cleaning the livingroom
#had to return it to my roommate to charge so i guess i'll do the rest tomorrow.#it took 20 minutes for me to vacuum up half of the worst of the stuff in the livingroom. i still had the kitchen. hallway. both bathrooms#and my own room to go#then after that i was supposed to mop the kitchen and then the two bathrooms#and then scrub the kitchen sink/counter and floor#and that was going to be the HALFWAY POINT OF CLEANING THE HOUSE OVERALL#we have to clear out the cupboards and figure out whats ours and what old tennants left behind#and split them into keep/donate/throw piles#and then also clean them because the previous tennants. wouldnt wash their dishes. or their hands. or clean. anything#im not joking. my current room had to be professionally cleaned before i moved in#because the girl who moved out left rubbish/old food/used sanitary equipment/multiple pieces of rotted furniture#and a rice cooker in the corner with rice so old it was black#genuinely the most vile kind of people#anyway after doing that dishes stuff we then have to go in and scrub/sanitize the cupboards#which are old and stained#so this way we can replace what needs to be replaced and have room to put appliances away when we aren't using them#then after that i can have a go at scouring both the bathrooms showers/sinks/toilets#and then after that treat some of the stains in the carpet lf a bunch of rooms#and i also want to look at deep cleaning our furniture (couch#/dusting bookcases/maybe getting more decorations for storage)#and THEN#FINALLY#i can talk to the landlord about being allowed to plant some native nz bushes tree and wildflowers because theres so much unused dirt#that coule really REALLY make this flat look a lot nicer from the outside#and be beneficial to the native birds that live in the sanctuary below us/local bee populations!#tw: unsanitary#< cos this house is.... insanely bad#oh fuck i need to clean the windows too actually
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lovinggreeniehours · 5 days
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good god i can't believe i have to do chores this early in the morning (it is 8:30am)
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