#Thank you for feeding us with this 15 second clip yes yes good

[worstlovesong]

My boys 🥺

[itstomorrowalready]

#1 - The Beginning; Self-Improvement & Productivity.

Hello. This is the first post of this blog. My name is Julia, and here I talk about many topics. I don't want to list any yet, as I haven't started. Just know that many of these topics will be slightly/very triggering to multiple people. As I go, I will put TWs in, but in general - reader's discretion is advised. So let's start with today's topic. Self-Improvement and Productivity.

If you've been on Instagram or Pinterest in the past few years, you must've noticed a boom in 'Self-Improvement' and 'Productivity' content, especially during and post-Quarantine. While this has been good for most people, let's talk about the adverse negative effects of constantly having this pressure on you, to be unrealistically competent.

Okay, so - what the heck is Self-Improvement? Pretty self-explanatory. According to Oxford - Self-Improvement is defined as 'the improvement of one's knowledge, status, or character by one's own efforts.' Productivity is simply 'the state or quality of being productive.'

Contrary to the definition, most of us are subjected to the idea that, unless you are waking up at 3:30 am, hitting the gym 6 times a week, making a green protein smoothie, then somehow studying/working WHILE maintaining a healthy social life, you are not improving or being productive.

Let's be honest, 'productive' is more of a buzzword than anything, really. We all see those videos pop up on our feed every few days "3 AM PRODUCTIVE DAY IN MY LIFE | 15+ HRS STUDYING | WORKING OUT". Now the question is, is this sustainable, or even realistic?

Hell no. Trust me, you cannot do everything at once without risking at least one factor, whether that be sleep, or happiness. If you haven't heard this yet, hear it now - Self-Improvement is about progress, not perfection.

Really read that last sentence now. The fact that you want to better yourself is already good. Now, take your goals one at a time. You can't go from a regular person with bad habits to an Instagram influencer overnight. And trust me, even those influencers are faking it. You think they wake up everyday at 4 am and make weird tasting green juices? Of course not! Don't even attempt to figure their life out by the few 60 second clips they post. It's not in your favour.

Forget everything you have learnt from Social Media about Productivity and Self-Improvement. You don't have to read a book a day to grow mentally. Set a goal as achievable as a book a week. And as you go, you'll start to love reading. It's very simple. Set small, achievable goals - and you will be able to do it, I don't have a doubt in my mind.

Also, remember how the Oxford definition of Self-Improvement also listed 'character'? Yep, you just scrolled up to check, welcome back. So yes, practice being a good person. Usually when you're on the journey of Self-Improvement and Productivity, you only think about yourself. You think about how you need to work out more and how you need to study more, etc. But really take a moment out of your day to help someone. It can be your classmate, your teacher, your sibling if you have any, your parent/s perhaps. Spread positivity. At the very least, just shoot someone a compliment, like "your hair looks nice today" or something of the sort.

Remember, you aren't alone. You aren't the only one who feels like they could do so much better. I understand and so do hundreds of thousands of people out there.

This was just a light touch on the topic, I wanted to keep the first post as short as possible. Let me know if you have a certain topic you want me to talk about, I'll try my best to make it happen. Thanks for reading!

[kaiparker-avengerssmut]

Their Doll 4

Y/n Stark

B.Barnes x Reader, S.Rogers x Stark!Reader

series synopsis:  y/n Stark, all records of her non existent, and yet Hydra still find her. When she is kidnapped by a certain super-soldier and no one believes her, she finds herself searching for unexpected familiarity in her not-so-distant past.

Series Warnings: smut, violence, torture, swearing

Chapter Summary: the avengers find some stuff out about y/n

Warnings: swearing

A/n: The timeline in this has been altered, as there I things I wanted to include but I also wanted this fic to follow the storyline/timeline of Winter Soldier and Civil war.So for purposes of this fanfic, Peter Parker was discovered by Tony at a much younger age - when he was bitten - and has been an intern with him since, almost like a protégée.(For the purposes of this story Peter was bitten much younger too - more like when he was 9 or ten rather than 14/15)

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

"SO there's some weird HYDRA girl locked and sedated in my basement? Cool, don't want to know." Tony dismissed, not looking up from his white mug as he tipped a generous amping of sugar into his black coffee. He swirled the liquid in the mug and turned around, leaning against the counter as he raised the drink to lips lips and took a sip before sighing intently. Bruce frowned, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Tony, I don't think you get it, I ran a DNA test and-"

"And she's probably some innocent girl that went missing years ago and was never found? I get it, I feel bad for her but at the end of the day she has nothing to do with me." Tony dismissed, pushing away from the counted to deposit his now-empty mug in the sink. He turned the tap on, rinsing out the cup before carelessly placing it on the drying rack.

"Just, please, come and see her. You won't regret it, and if you do - dinner's on me?" Bruce suggest, arms outstretched in welcome. Tony rolled his eyes, before scoffing.

"Yeah, no. I'm good. Catch you in the lab later though?" Tony was quick to deflect, exiting the room with so much as another glance. Bruce's hands feel to his side with a slap as his shoulders sagged in defeat.

...

Bruce nervously paced the lab, desperate to tell someone his horrifying discovery. The click of the door made his head snap up, a smile of relief spreading his on lips at the sight of Nat.

"Nat, finally." He sighed, walking towards the scowling girl.

"What did you need to tell me Bruce? You sounded pretty urgent when you called." She pressed, crossing her arms over her chest and raising a brow. His smile faulted, his gaze dropping to his hands where he fondled with a biro pen.

"I- uh. I made a... discovery about y/n." Bruce confessed, finally meeting Nat's eyes.

"Go on.." Nat prompted. Bruce took a deep breath, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. "Bruce-" she started.

"Y/n isn't entirely human-"

"Well we knew that much."

"It's what she is, that's shocking. Looking threw all her blood tests and whatnot - it's showing she has an ability to manipulate minds when she s-sings. It's like a certain note her voice forms that can control the minds of people around her."

"So what is she?"

"I don't know, there's not really a name-"

"A siren. She's a siren." A third voice joined the room, and both the avengers' heads snapped round to the direction it came from. In the door stood Steve, shoulder leant against the frame and ankles crossed.

"Who's watching y/n?" Nat asked.

"Clint. Anyway, my father - he used to read me a story when I was a kid. The Odyssey, I believe it was called. It was a Greek myth about a bewitching girl who lured saloons in with her voice so she could feed off them." Steve continued, pushing himself off the door frame and walking further into the room.

"There's no way that's real, though." Nat dismissed, frowning heavily at his words.

"No, no. He has a point - I mean, look at Steve. Look at me." Bruce said, gesturing to himself and Steve. "We shouldn't be possible, but science does some crazy things. Y/n was with HYDRA, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"Well, what if they did this to her. We know she was taken when she was young, so what if they did so to experiment on her?"

"I should go talk to her, you know - girl on girl. She seems to like me, maybe she knows what she is and she might open up to me, if I ask nicely." Nat suggests, walking out the room when she was met with no protests from the two men.

"There's something else I should mention." Bruce started fidgeting again, which man Steve's brown knit together.

"What is it, Bruce?" The super-soldier prompted. Bruce continued to fidget, not looking up from him hands as he spoke.

"Are you aware Tony used to have daughter?" Bruce asked sheepishly.

"Tony had a daughter?" Steve said, brows now raised with genuine shock. He knew of Tony's...escapades from before he was with Pepper, but he couldn't see Tony as the type to actually keep a child from just a one-night stand.

"She was adopted, some kid he found on the streets with no parents. So he took her in, raised her and then she just disappeared. Many people have forgotten she existed, and those that remember her are all under the impression that she is dead. I thought so too, until..." Bruce paused, flipping through some papers on his clipboard until he found what he was looking for. "Until this." He finished, handing the board over to Steve.

In Steve's hands was proof that matched y/n's DNA to that of Tony's adopted daughter.

"Well that explains the name, and her hesitation to tell us who she really is." Steve frowned, eyes scanning over the paper repeatedly. Bruce hummed in agreement, taking the clipboard back from Steve when he held it out for Bruce to take. "Do we tell Tony?" Steve asked after a moment.

"He doesn't want to know, I've tried telling him but he doesn't care." Bruce told Steve and Steve pressed his lips together as he thought. "I do think we should wake her up though. If she's Tony's daughter there can't be anything that's more dangerous about her than you expect her attitude." Bruce said and Steve nodded, suppressing a laugh.

"I'll tell Nat to wake her up." Steve said as he exited the lab.

...

The steam from the shower engulfed me, my hands running through my hair and brushing out the tangles lightly. As I scrubbed the shampoo from my scalp, I hummed a small tune - thankful to be somewhere noisy enough that I wouldn't risk affecting anyone with my powers. After waking me up Nat told me to clean up and get changed before handing me a pile of clothes and telling me that she would meet me at my room in half an hour to take me to meet the rest of the team.

Shutting the water off, I slid the glass door open and my feet padded onto the thin bath-mat. The towel wrapped around me as I patted my hair dry with another one, looking over my scarred figure in the large mirror opposite me.

A large scar spanned the width of my stomach, smaller remnants of cuts littering my thighs that were joined by one larger one from where I was once stabbed. Looking at myself over my shoulder, I observed the large scars that spanned over my back, the layers fading at different degrees from their varying ages. The memory of how I got them brought tears to my eyes, which I was quick to blink away and focus back onto what I was doing.

Pulling the large sweatshirt Steve had lent me over my head, I left the large bathroom clad in a pair of leggings and some socks I borrowed from Nat. I brushed my fingers through my wet locks, detangling them. I threw the towel onto the bed in the room I had been assigned and plopped down next to it, taking my time to survey the room I barely got a look of earlier.

The door to the en-suite bathroom I just exited sat on one side of the room, accompanied by a big closet and a dressing table. A chest of draws was propped next to the king sized bed the sat in and the free corner housed a small kitchen. It had a stove, fridge-freezer, sink and a few cabinets. On the side sat a kettle, toaster, blender and some chopping boards.

A sharp knock on the door bought me back to my senses, making me perk up a little at the sound of Nat's voice.

"You feeling okay?" I nodded. "Good, well Steve and Bruce want you to meet them in conference room 4. I'll take you." She quickly added the last part in seeing my scared face.

As we walked down the halls we chatted, talking about our pasts and finding out that we were fairly similar - we were both forced into the bad things we did, we both found a way to redeem ourselves, neither of us have ever had a boyfriend and we both love chicken noodle soup.

"Well, this is it." She announced, pointing at a door to our left. I nodded, going to open the door before pausing and turning around.

"Thank you. For taking me with you, for giving me this chance, for hiding me from HYDRA - thank you, really." I spoke softly, giving her the friendliest smile I could muster.

"No problem. I couldn't live with myself if I knew we could've helped you. Everyone deserves a second chance."

"I genuinely can't thank you enough - you saved me." I said, quickly swiping away the threatening tears with the heels of my hands.

"I was nice meeting you, y/n."

"You too." And with the last words said, I pushed the door open, walking into the room and being instantly greeted by Bruce and Steve.

"Hey, y/n, why don't you take a seat and we'll get the introductions out the way?" Bruce suggested and I nodded shyly. I took a seat next to Steve, who appeared to shuffle slightly away from me but I couldn't be sure.

"So, another midgardian?" a bulky man with shoulder length blonde hair and a red cape clipped to his shoulders broke the silence. He was clearly the God I'd been hearing about - I mean how much more of a costume does he need to look like Thor?

"Yes, we think so." Bruce confirmed. I frowned at this. Midgardian? What the hell was a midgardian?

"We think she's been tampered with, like me," Steve elaborated, "but as far as we know, she is of this earth." Steve spoke and Thor nodded. "We are keeping her safe from HYDRA." Steve said to break the silence as they all stared at me with funny looks. I kept my eyes cast down now, cheeks hot with embarrassment after feeling so many eyes on me at once.

"Does she-" I interjected the second I heard another voice. I stood abruptly, pushing me seat back and wincing at the screeching noise it made before resuming my angry face. I slammed my hand down the table as I stood, catching the attention of everyone sat at the table.

"If even one more of you refers to me as 'she' rather than just fucking talking directly to me I am going to end up sirening one of your asses!" I demanded, seething with anger. A grin broke out on Thor's face.

"Atta girl, I like this one already!" He laughed and I sat down again, smiling contented ay his compliment.

"She's got Tony's patience, all right." Another man remarked with a smirk. Steve simply rolled his eyes as common menus about my attitude were thrown around the room. Finally, someone addressed me. It was a woman with Blonde hair and kind eyes. She looked motherly.

"Hey, I'm pepper." She smiled kindly and I quickly reciprocated it. They went around the table - the man who had commented about my patience was called Clint, the blonde man was was indeed called Thor and obviously I'd already met Bruce and Steve.

"I'm y/n." I returned and she repeated my name in her beautiful voice, almost as if she was testing how I'd felt in her mouth.

"Y/n. A stunning name for a stunning lady." Thor commented, boyish grin still in place and I gave him a sheepish smile.

"Oh, cut it out big guy - you're like, a billion times her age." A voice came from the door and we all turned to find out who it was.

"Tony. I wasn't aware you'd be joining us." Steve said in a monotone voice and Tony gave him a tight smile.

"You don't get everything your way, Capsicle. Now, who's this?" Tony said, stuffing a mouthful of blueberries in his mouth before stuffing the bag of food in his back pocket and motioning to me with a nod.

"Tony, this is y/n," Bruce said moving out the way from where he was standing so Tony could see my face. The man's eyes widened instantly as the recognition sank in. "Y/n Stark."

[henrycavillisbae]

Home

Summary: Logan ‘Sy’ Syverson, returns from his deployment. Maddy is 29 weeks pregnant with their first child, a girl, conceived the night before Sy was deployed. Sy hasn’t seen Maddy or the bump in person and to say he's excited is an understatement. Written in first person.

Pairing: Captain Syverson x ofc (Maddy Syverson)

Warnings: SMUT! Oral, slight MaleDom/FemSub, Pregnancy Sex, Bad Language, bodily fluids and fluff.

A/N: Hey guys! New around here (not really just been lurking in the background) Hope you enjoy this one shot. Got the name ‘Logan’ for Sy from @littlefreya. For the record I am English and this is set in a America soooo... Also, this is unedited and I'm slightly nervous!

I plodded towards the wardrobe and grabbed one of Sy's tshirts before pulling it over my head. It's one of the only things I can tolerate in this Texan heat and being pregnant. I then waddled downstairs to get some breakfast.

I groaned as a rolled my pregnant self over to climb out of bed. This baby makes me need to wee all the time. A second groan left my lips as I stood up and plodded towards the ensuite to relieve myself. Washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror, my hair resembled a birds nest. I quickly brushed my hair and teeth before making my way back to the bedroom.

I was greeted by Kal waiting for me by his bowl obviously after his breakfast.

"Okay Bear, I'll feed you" I said leaning down and stroking him, "your daddy is home today and Aika will be in a few days" he waged his tail to this obviously hearing the words 'daddy' and 'Aika'. Kal is an Akita who stays with me while Sy is on deployment, Aika is a German Sheppard that goes on deployment with Sy. This is their last deployment as Aika is retiring and Sy is moving to fire arms training. We found out I was pregnant just after he left for Iraq and as soon as he found out he was on the phone to his boss requested to move. I grabbed Kal's meat and scraped it into his bowl. I opened the door to let Kal out after he'd eaten. He quickly rain outside to do his business after he'd eaten. By then I had made a coffee and some toast and was sat on the sofa. As I was eating my breakfast the baby started to wiggle.

"Well good morning to you" I said rubbing my tummy, Kal running in and rested his head on my tummy, “You’ll finally meet your daddy today dot, and I need ti take you out in a bit Kal” I stroked Kal’s head before he got excited and bounced around. Laughed at him as I checked the time in my phone, 08:43. Sy’s plane landed at 12:03 so I had time to take Kal out quickly and get ready to drive to the airport.

After eating my breakfast I grabbed a pair of shorts and slipped my bra on underneath Sy’s Iron Maiden t-shit. I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge before shoving my phone in the back pocked of my shorts. Kal was already waiting for me by the door with his lead in his mouth.

“Alright boy, I’m coming” I called to him as I slipped my low top converse onto my slightly swollen feet. I clipped Kal’s lead to his collar and shoved my sunglasses on as I left the house. We walked towards the dog walking park near our house. We haven’t had any rain in a while so the grass resembled straw, tornado season had been and gone and summer was definitely here. Kal was already hot so we wont be having a long walk. In the summer the dogs get walked morning and evening. Kal ran round for 10 minutes or so before he decided he was too hot and wanted to go home.

By the time we reached home it was 10:15. My neighbour Hallie was taking her trash out.

“Morning Maddy” she called over the white picket post fence.

“Hey Hallie” I shouted waving back

“Sy’s back today isn’t he” she asked, I nodded in reponse “I bet you cant wait”

“I really can’t” I replied as I unlocked our large oak door, “I’m looking forward to soneone to help me put my shoes on. Thats becoming difficult” ‘I also need sex’ I thought to myself. I laughed slighty, we had sex a lot. By a lot a mean daily, sometimes maybe 2 or 3 times a day. Yup, I need sex.

“How loge do you have left” Hallie asked referring to my pregnancy.

“Around 12 weeks, Sy is having 6 months off before starting his new role in fire arms trainging, so that will be nice” I said resting my hand on my bump.

“Oh gosh” Hallie exclaimed, “Well look after yourself, we’ll have to all get together for a BBQ when Sy is back and settled”

“Yes we must, see you soon Hallie” I called waving to her as I walked into the house. I herd her shout bye back just as I was about to shut the front door. I unclipped Kal’s lead and he ran off to have a drink as I made my way upstairs to get ready.

I pulled out a floaty ditsy floral midi dress that was fitted at the top. The v shaped neckline and think straps accentuated my large swollen breasts. I laid it on the bed and quickly used the toilet before I sat at my dressing table. I decided to apply a light layer of make up, if I wore too much it woud just melt off of my face in this heat. I let my hair out of it’s top knot and ran my fingers through the curls to make it look presentable. I checked myself in the mirror, my blue eyes sparkled due to the brown eyeshadow I had applied. I applied a thick layer of lip gloss before getting up to get changed. 

I pulled off my tshirt and shorts and put on a white lacey thong and my white lacey maternity bra. I walked over to my full length mirror and took a picture of my bump in the mirror making sure the my breasts were obvious. I opened up Sy’s contact and attached the picture with the caption, ‘We can’t wait to see you daddy’. I sniggered before pressing send. Sy will see this before he see’s me and I know it will drive him mad. I pulled my dress on over my head before needing to rearrange it over my bump. I found my strappy wedges before sitting on the bed to put them on. Sy’ was a foot taller then me so I needed all the help I could get with my height. I then made my way downstirs again.

11:07

“SHOOT!” I shouted to myself. I rushed around and grabbed my bag throwing the food I had made for us in it along with the ‘Welcome home Daddy’ sign I had made which was rolled up,  my phone, purse and bottle of water. I grabbed the keys to our Ford Ranger and rushed out of the house. 

I arrived at the airport at 11:45. I managed to find a place close to the arrivals lounge to park. I spotted ‘Ocres’ girlfriend, Jaimie, sitting in the red chairs of the arrivals lounge. I waved and walked over to her.

“Maddy look at you!” she exclaimed standing up to give me a hug. I hugged her back before sitting down next to her, “How are you?” she asked after she had made herself comorftable.

“Fat and hot” I said laughing, “Still have 12 weeks to go roughly” I rubbed my bump slightly.

“You know, rumour has it that Sy said he would never stop being deployed. You must be a special person as he’s chaging his job role” Jaimie said as I grabbed my sub roll out of my bed to eat. I had made Sy his favourite pasta to eat on the way home. I took a bite and wiped sauce off of my lip before replying.

“And now look at me, fat and horny” I replied laughing, “Pregnancy hormones are no joke”

“Well I’m not surprised you’re married to Captain Big Dick, I’d miss that too” Jaimie said laughing. I had forgotten that’s what they called him. His nickname also didn’t lie. His cock stood proud at about 10 inches when erect, it had a good girth to it too. Thinking of his cock did not make my horniness any better. Jaimie and I sat talking until my phone buzzed. It was a message from Sy.

Don’t think they’ll be staying on for long when I get you home darlin, my cock is already desperate to be inside you.

Who says I’m still wearing them? I replied smirking. Jaimie and I made our way to the arrivals gate and I pulled out the rolled up sign as we waited for our men to appear.

We only waited 10 or so minutes before we saw some soilders arrive and their significant others run up to each other. Jaimie then saw Ocre and ran up to him. Ocre pulled her into his enbraced before kissing her. They then walked over to me hand in hand.

“Maddy” Ocre said greeting me, “Congratulations” he said pulling me into a hug. “Sy hasn’t shut up about you or the baby. Quite sweet really, slightly irritating but mainly sweet” I lauged at Ocres comment. I caughte a glimpse of Sy out of the corner of my eye. He was dressed in his military gear which always made my knees go weak. As soon as he saw me he started to jog towards me, i jogged towards him and we met in an embrace where he picked me up and wrapped my legs around his waist. He kissed me firmly,  with his hands on my ass, I felt the faimiliar flutter in my chest of his kisses.

“God I missed you Darlin,” He whispered to me in his thick Texan accent.

"I missed you to bear" I said kissing him again. He put me down and then nealt down and kissed my tummy.

"Hey there dot, hows my little princess doing in there?" He asked my tummy before kissing it again. She did a little wiggle and Sy's face lit up, "that's amazing" he gasped looking up to my. By now my eyes were starting to leak salty tears.

"She wriggles alot" I said as Sy stood up and pulled me into his chest.

"I love you Darlin'" he said wiping the tears away with his thumbs' "You look so beautiful carrying my daughter" he kissed me tenderly.

"I love you too bear" I whispered into he lips before kissing him again. He threw his bag back over his shoulder and held hand as me made our was over to Ocre and Jaimie.

"Miss Williams" Sy said greeting her, "you look well"

"Call me Jaimie Sy, I am well thank you" she replied greeting him back. We stood and chatted for a little while before we decided to head off.

"Right, I'm off to get laid" Sy announced making me laugh and blush at the same time, "Remember what I said Ocre, put a ring on it. It the best thing you'll ever do"

"Roger captain" he replied, "Oh and dont poke your daughter in the eye with that dick of yours" Si flipped him off as we walked off.

"He's only jealous of my big dick" he started laughing, "You made my trousers very uncomfortable earlier with that picture of yours.

"That was the idea Captain" I said to him smirking, "by the way I've made you your favourite meal to have on the way home"

"Thank you darlin', you're my favourite meal though" he replied smirking.

We arrived at the car and Sy chucked his bags in the back before we both climbed in. I grabbed the food out of my bag for Sy and passed it to him before shoving my bag in the foot well of the car. Sy unbuttoned his military shirt and took it off revealing the white tshirt underneath which he quickly untucked from his trousers.

The drive home took half an hour and you could feel the sexual tension in the car. Sy would glance across at my breasts and shift uncomfortably in his seat which in itself make my pussy tingle.

Whe we arrived by home I grabbed my back before walking up the drive to open the door. Sy soon followed with his bags. Kal barked and ran up to us as we walked through the door. He saw Sy and jumped up at him.

"Hey boy" he exclaimed as he dropped his bags in the hallway and made a fuss over him, "Did you miss me? I missed you too"

I opened the back door for Kal to go out.

"Come on Kal, toilet" I called, he left Sy and ran out into the garden. Sy walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around me placing his hands on my bump. He kisses my neck as he pulled me close. I could feel his already hard cock through his trousers. I rubbed myself up against his crotch earning a groan from him. I turned around and kissed him passionately, his hands travelled to my ass and he massaged each ass cheek.

"I need you Maddy" he groaned into the kiss.

"I know Sy, me too" I moaned back. Kal ran back inside and Sy quickly locked the back door before picking up up the same way he did in the airport, which caused me to squeal and he carried me up the stairs.

He booted our bedroom door open then pushed it shut so we wouldn't get disturbed by Kal. He placed me down gently on the bed before he pulled his tshirt off and climbed between my legs. He hitched my dress up to above my bump. He placed lots of soft tender kisses over my tummy.

"Fuck Maddy, you're so beautiful" he groaned as he rubbed his crotch to relieve some of the built up pressure in there. He quickly pulled my dress off leaving me in just my lacey underwear. "These have grown" he growled as he massaged my tits. I moaned and quickly propped myself up on some pillows as I can't lie on my back for very long.

Sy leant down and kissed me hard, he deepened the kiss by darting his tongue in and out of my mouth. I groaned as he rubbed the outside of my thong with his thigh. His kisses made their way down my body and he stopped at just above the top of my thong. He swiftly removed my thong and kissed my mound. I groaned with pleasure. Sy slipped a finger into my cunt earning a moan from me. He harshly sucked on my clit causing me to gasp and moan. He slid another finger into me and started to finger fuck me quickly. He licked circles around my clit with brief sucks and nibbles that he knows drive me mad. I could already feel my release starting to build up. The familiar burn started in the bottom of my tummy, my legs started to quiver around Sy's head and my cunt started to clench on his fingers. Sy sensed this too as he picked up the pace with his fingers.

"Ohhhh fuuuuckk, Syyyyyyy" I moaned as I tumbled over the edge. I felt him smirk into my pussy as a moaned and convulsed under his touch. He finger fucked me until I came down from my high. He moved up me and kissed me. Our tongues fought for dominance, our teeth clashed in desperation of us wanting to feel complete again. Sy pulled away and rid me of shoes. He then stood at the end of the bed and stripped him self of his trousers, boxers and socks leaving him standing there naked. He'd gotten bigger since being away, obviously been working out more. His beautiful cock stood proud begging for attention so I shuffled down to the end of the bed and took it in my mouth.

"Arg Maddy" he groaned as I started to move my mouth up and down his cock. He laced his left hand through my hair and started to fuck my mouth. I gagged as his cock hit the back of my throat. I relaxed my throat to let Sy's cock down. I swallowed against his cock causing him to buck his hips and groan at the same time.

Suddenly Sy pulled away. He wiped away the dribble and precum from my chin. Before kissing me and pushing me back down on the best the best he could without putting pressure on my bump.

"I was about to cum Darlin', lord knows I need to paint your walls with my seed. 6 months is too long" he growled into my ear, "get on all fours" he ordered as he flipped me onto my front. He knelt on the bed and lined himself with my entrance. Slowly he pushed his throbbing cock into my pussy.

"Oh Sy" I gasped as his cock stretched my pussy walls. He stilled briefly as I got used to the size of him again, "Sy please, move" I begged.

"As you wish Darlin'" he quickly unclipped my bra which I threw to the floor, before he started to thrust in and out of me. "Ohhh Maddy, I've missed this pretty little cunt of yours" he groaned behind me.

Sy fucked me quick and hard. The same way that got me pregnant. The new sensation of my heavy tits slapping my bump and my nipples brushing the comforter turned me on even more. Neither of us were going to last much longer. Sy's thrusts were becoming less paced and more erratic. My body started to convulse in his grasp.

"Cum with me Darlin'" he grunted as my cunt started to tighten around his cock. He smacked my ass my orgasm hit.

"Unnggggg Syyyyyy" I moaned my cun convulsed around his cock. I felt myself squirt around his cock and onto his stomach. I could hear my juices squleching around as he fucked me to his release.

"AARGHH MADDY!" He called as I felt him still inside me. I felt his cock throb against my g-spot

"FUCK" I shouted loudly still riding my orgasm. I squirted again as he involuntarily fucked his cum into me causing me to convulse in his grasp. He held he tight to stop my legs from given out as my orgasm shook my body. He hissed as my cunt milked the very last of his cum out of his now sensitive semi hard cock.

I rolled onto my side and lay there panting. Sy collapsed down on the bed next to me. I laughed as my breathing started to become more normal.

"What?" Sy asked pulling my close so I was using his chest as a pillow.

"Nothing, I just love you that's all" I said leaving a soft kiss on his nipple.

"I love you both too" he said kissing the top of my head and stroking the side of my bump, our baby. "I'm never leaving my two girls again, ever" he muttered into my hair. He pulled the thin sheet over us and I felt my eyelids go heavy. We both drifted off into a content afternoon sleep. I think we might knew we would be needing as much energy as we could now Sy is back.

[homeformyheart]

until now - m!raleigh carrera x mc (plat)

author’s note: trying my hand at a shorter piece and for platinum – there will probably be at least one follow-up to this but both will stay as one-shots.

copyright: all characters owned by pixelberry studios. songs and lyrics owned by their respective creators. series/pairing: platinum – raleigh carrera x mc (cadence dorian); mentions of jessica clark (red carpet diaries mc) rating/warnings: 13+; swearing, infidelity, angst word count: 1.7k based on/prompt: “should’ve said no” by taylor swift summary: raleigh gets too drunk and too close to a fan and the only real relationship he’s ever had falls apart.

until now

cadence could recall exactly where she was the moment r&b’s timebomb blew up the internet. she couldn’t recall with detail how she felt or how she reacted in that immediate moment but she could describe the exact shade of brown from her morning latte that stained the open page of her notebook because she stared at it for a solid five minutes after the headlines broke. she was working on a new single for her upcoming album that needed an angsty, heartbreak vibe to balance the upbeat, love-focused songs she had already written. she had a few lines written (it’s strange to think the songs we used to sing / the smiles, the flowers, everything) but had been struggling with motivation to come up with anything more – after all, she hadn’t been heartbroken in a while.

she was happy in her relationship with raleigh and where she was in her career. her first world tour had been a huge success, with raleigh joining her on tour as often as he could. after her tour was over, he insisted he didn’t want to wake up in his apartment without her and it didn’t take long before cadence moved into his penthouse. a few months later, she was able to join raleigh for the beginning of his transformation world tour, his first album since deciding he could embrace the things he enjoyed from his sunset skatepark days, making it his most personal project to date. of course, whenever the music and obligations to the studio called her back to new york, they facetimed as much as they could.

dating cadence had given raleigh some of the “good boyfriend” brownie points with the public related to loyalty and affection. it helped that cadence defended him against unfair accusations and doubled down on how well he treated her to the media and their fans. and no matter what part of his reputation was theme-of-the-week over at the tabloids – shameless flirt, heartbreaker, wild card, adrenaline junkie, to name the popular ones – raleigh never gave anyone a reason to label him as a cheater and more importantly, never gave cadence any reason not to trust him. even in his fake relationships, raleigh made sure that that part of his reputation was sterling. until now.

her phone had buzzed non-stop when the news broke – to the point where she thought she was getting phone calls that sounded like a ticking time bomb but they were mostly texts and social media notifications. the headlines filled her feed one after another – “raleigh carerra cheats on cadence dorian!” “did ralence break-up?” “was cadence too boring for raleigh?” “cadence drives raleigh into arms of another woman!” – along with hundreds of theories painted by devastated and thirsty fans alike who picked apart every public appearance, interaction, social media post, and song lyric associated with the two of them for the past six months as if they could find incriminating clues and signs of a slowly fizzling relationship like amateur sleuths. cadence had to give them props – it’s not like she wouldn’t eventually do the same once she was ready to process the relationship; in some ways, the fans gave her a head start.

how was she supposed to react to this right now? the photos and videos definitely highlighted that sabrina simmons, who cadence vaguely recognized as a media-hungry and wannabe actress from one of raleigh’s older music videos, cozying up to and grinding on raleigh at a club in london, presumably the afterparty for the closing night of his tour. cadence could also point out every tell-tale sign that raleigh was drunk out of his mind; he was relishing in the attention from sabrina and being inappropriately handsy for someone in a well-known, committed relationship. what most people didn’t know, was that cadence could forgive that – raleigh was normally flirty and handsy and alcohol always exacerbated it. what she didn’t think she could forgive was the next thing she saw – or rather heard.

if cadence felt like she was close to either having a raging smash-everything-breakable-in-raleigh’s-apartment spree or an emotional-because-her-heart-was-actually-breaking meltdown, the audio clip that hit her inbox pushed her to the teetering edge of both. the recording was barely 15 seconds long but it was damning. given the circumstances, it was probably planted or planned by sabrina who wanted to catapult herself into internet fame by taking advantage of raleigh’s reputation. her voice could be heard asking him if he wanted to come back to her hotel room. the question didn’t matter to cadence though, because raleigh’s response – “fuck yes” – was clear as day and cadence knew it would haunt her for months to come.

[jessica: just saw the videos – u ok? i’m heading home to iowa for a break from work, come stay with me, no one will find you there]

cadence quickly typed out a text reply, grateful for the close friendship she had with jessica clarke, the actress-turned-director who directed the music video for her last single. there was only one call she needed to make. if anyone was already putting things in motion, it was fiona. right on cue, she picked up and before cadence could say two words, said, “i’m so sorry cadence. i’ve already got movers on the other line and hank’s on his way.”

“thanks fiona. i’m going to stay with jessica in iowa and lay low for a bit. raleigh is not allowed to find out where i am; i will get a new phone if i need to,” cadence said, calmly starting to pull out and sort her things from raleigh’s closet so the movers would know exactly what to pack while she ironed out a few more details with fiona.

raleigh was still way too drunk when his manager barged into his hotel room and forced him into the shower. he was very drunk when his security team had to half-drag him all the way to where the private jet was waiting at the airport. he was mostly drunk throughout the eight-hour flight back to new york and progressed to staggeringly hungover by the time he was in a private car heading back to his penthouse apartment. once raleigh felt like he was only massively hungover, he pulled out his phone to text cadence. he became only mostly hungover after seeing that his texts weren’t going through. in a matter of seconds, his now slightly hungover state took a backseat to the anxiety filling his stomach as he tried calling to no avail. he frowned as he opened his news feed. the headlines alone made his eyes widen but the videos were what sobered him up the rest of the way.

a new email in his inbox from cadence caught his eye. it was an audio clip and a straightforward message: just so we’re clear, our relationship is over.

cadence was halfway to the airport when she saw the incoming call from an unknown number. she knew it was probably raleigh since she had blocked his number, but she answered the call anyway. she knew she was going to need the closure, may as well get it out of the way.

“cadence? it’s me, please don’t hang up. i’m so sorry, babe. i have no idea what happened, believe me. i woke up in my own hotel room alone, i promise,” raleigh begged, the pit in his stomach had lodged itself in his throat, threatening to turn into tears.

she chose to ignore what he just said. if she let herself pull at that thread and dig into it further to see if it was the truth, she’d never be able to end things cleanly. “tell me this – was she worth it? was she worth this?” she asked, her voice hardened as a reminder to both herself and raleigh that he couldn’t sweet talk his way out of this one.

“of course not. i was black out drunk and don’t remember anything, i swear. all of the stuff in the videos and photos, it was all just—” raleigh’s voice softened, “a moment of weakness.”

“that’s convenient since i’m pretty sure this wasn’t an isolated moment,” cadence said in a clipped tone, examining her worn nail beds. she made a mental note to ask jessica for salon recommendations in her hometown. “do you honestly expect me to believe we could ever be the same?”

“i love you, cadence. i would never cheat on you, babe – you have to believe me,” raleigh pleaded, swallowing his pride at the fact that he was begging right now.

cadence let out a dry, humorless laugh. “i don’t have to do anything, those recordings speak for themselves. you should’ve known that what you did with her would get back to me. and you know what i think? you knew what you were doing. you actually had everything you could’ve ever wanted – the fame, fortune, and creative freedom that comes with success in this industry and something real with someone who cares about the real you, not the curated, fake version of you.”

she paused to take a deep breath and blink back the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes. keep it together, cadence, she told herself. “and it scared the shit out of you, didn’t it? it got too real for you because having something real and precious as love in your life also means you could lose it too. and even the thought of that happening made you feel so vulnerable that instead of treasuring and protecting it you decided to utterly destroy the only real relationship you’ve ever had. congratulations – you’ve perfected your bad boy reputation and collected the last trophy you needed, cheater.”

her words cut right through him. “i— i’m so sorry, cadence,” raleigh whispered into the phone. “i swear, i don’t remember saying yes to her or even doing anything with her. please just, tell me what i need to do to fix this.”

the audio recording replayed on loop in cadence’s mind. after a long pause, she whispered back, “you should’ve said no.” the finality of cadence’s tone was punctuated by the beep from his phone indicating she had hung up.

raleigh stood up from the couch where he had sat while on the phone with cadence. as he walked toward the bathroom, he finally looked around his apartment and realized that all of her stuff was gone. the apartment was empty, quiet, almost sterile with its clear surface areas and shiny, clean floors. it was like she had never lived here; his closet didn’t have the hint of jasmine from the perfume on her clothes, his sink counter was devoid of her jewelry and makeup, his music room wasn’t drowning in loose sheets of paper covered in her handwriting, and worst of all, the clothes she always borrowed of his, including his oversized tour shirts and sweatpants, were folded neatly on his bed.

he reached into the back corner of his closet, the side closest to the door, where no one ever stored or looked for anything until he found his gym bag. his felt around the old shirts in the bag until his fingers wrapped around a small, velvet box. he didn’t have to open it to recall the vivid five-carat emerald-cut diamond ring he had planned on proposing to cadence with. he held the box against his forehead, hand clenched around it, before throwing it as hard as he could out the bedroom door into the living room, twisting and turning his body from a crouching to an upright position in one smooth motion. maybe he should’ve been a baseball pitcher instead. it hit the far wall with a resounding thud.

the echo reverberated throughout his living room until it was met with silence, once again reminding him that he was utterly alone. and for the first time in a very long time, he cried. raleigh carrera had never been heartbroken before. until now.

* * * * * mentions: @raleigh-edward; @dulceghernandez; @thegreentwin; @kat-tia801; @otherworldlypresents; @brycesgirl; @robintora;

[jenovahh]

The Honey Pot - Ch. 15 - Mating Dance

It doesn’t take long after those words for Zenos to announce you would be going home for the night and retiring before it got to be much later. You could feel his pressing stare on you the entire way to the limo where Ardbert waited, the atmosphere tense as you silently rode back to the estate. As soon as you reached the premises you were ordered to spill everything that had occurred while he was distracted, verbatim if you wanted to live.

There was a lot of yelling late into the night, a lot of frustration as Zenos seemed ready to threaten the truth out of you, and you being halfway done with bullshit after having to already be in his father’s presence more than what was required of you. You thought you had placated him enough to have him let you go to bed to rest, but that only gave him the energy to admonish you in the morning.

“I already fucking told you what he had said! He wants to use me as a pawn to go see if I can glean any secrets from kicking the bodyguard’s ass. What don’t you get--”

“What you do not get is my father’s motives are not so simple, you stupid woman--”

You snatch him by the collar and pull him to you with a guttural growl. “Call me stupid again, Garlean.”

“Stop acting like you are, savage.” He chuckles, pulling away fast enough before your fist can connect with his face. “I won’t let you strike me so easily, my beast.” All amusement has drained from his voice as he looms above you, doing his damndest to intimidate you. However you’re too riled up to take him seriously, throwing all caution out the window as you loom right back. “Whether you like it or not, you need my protection.” He murmurs ominously, a chill racing up your spine but you pay it no mind. “Why are you so eager to follow his orders now? Why are you in such a hurry to go run off to that farce of a man who could never match me in might, let alone your own strength?”

You bare your teeth, eyes aflame as you snarl at him. “I’m in no rush. You told me yourself not to disobey your father. But if the thought of a little competition gets you this upset, I’ll go over there in the tightest dress in my closet--” You cry out as he lifts you up by the front of your shirt, his eyes cold as ice. The same murderous intent you had seen in his eyes before but never had he aimed at you. Instinct screams at you to flee, common sense yells at you to go limp in submission.

Naturally, you do none of those things.

“It had slipped my mind how much of a fool you could be, savage.” His voice is on par with how deadly he sounds talking with his father, his grip a reminder of the strength and cruelty he had wrapped in his gigantic form. “Sometimes I fear I’ve let you go unchecked for far too long.”

With a light tut, you grip his wrist tight and swing your legs up to wrap around his arm. Growling, he tries toshake you off but as soon as he reaches for you with his other hand you dig your nails in deep to the wrist that is holding you, making sure to hit a pressure point that has him loosening his grip. Holding tight with your legs, you work yourself out of the shirt you’re in, freeing yourself. Snarling, he moves to try and grab you once more but you are slippery like water, eluding his grasp with your smaller form, dropping to the floor.

Landing on both feet as graceful as a cat, you grab the arm he reached at you with and quickly wrench it behind his back, frowning as he lets out a slight grunt in pain as you put enough pressure to threaten to dislocate his shoulder. Leaning close against him, your lips are just a breath away as you whisper into his ear,“You’ve never had me checked in the first place, idiot.”

With a firm shove, you kick him away from you, leaving him to quickly fling his arms out in front of him to brace himself from falling on his face. He remains like that as you circle around him, moving toward the door. “I am going to follow your father’s orders as much as it pains me to do anything that piece of shit tells me to do. I’m not going to have him breathing down my neck because you can’t share your toys for two goddamn seconds.” You give one glance back at him, confused as to why he hasn’t stood or pursued you. He remains there, long strands of golden hair obscuring his face from view, kneeling upon the floor.

“With any luck I’ll be too shit at espionage to be of any use to your father and he’ll stick me back with you. I’ll at least have the time to go out and actually do something for once.”

With no more to say, you stride out the home gym, not giving another glance back. The halls are still somewhat quiet as you tread down them, the morning a bit quieter due to it being the weekend. You usually did not spend every morning on the weekend working with Zenos, needing to take days to rest your muscles, but due to unforeseen circumstances, things had changed.

I need to clear my head, you think, making a beeline to your room and from there, your shower. It had become your safe place, more than your room had. As many times Zenos had barged into your room unannounced, uninvited, unwanted, he had never gone as far as skulking around your bathroom. You had begun to personalize it before you realized, a few candles lining the shelves, some used bottles of bubble bath for the few times you got to luxuriate.

While a bubble bath sounded absolutely divine at this moment, you had no time to relax and pamper yourself, needing to still get dressed in time to make it to your meeting with Varis. Starting the shower, you turn the knobs to have it fairly warm, letting water cascade over your supple skin. You knew you were to be going to the Garlond estate under the guise of training with their strongest bodyguard, but since it was supposed to be espionage…

Reaching for a flowery, pink bottle, you dump a generous amount of it onto your loofah and lather it well, smoothing the scented suds over your skin. Just the scent of it is enough to brighten your mood and make you a little more eager about your outing today. Rinsing off, you grab your fluffiest towel to dry off, heading back into your room to get dressed. You had already decided to show up in your standard uniform, having packed away a change of clothes into another gym bag that you sling over your shoulder. Taking a glance at yourself in the mirror, you give yourself a nod of approval and head out into the hallway.

Varis' "public" office was thankfully on the bottom floor, meaning you didn't have to run the risk of bumping into Zenos. You had actually never been there yourself, and had to even ask one of the maids which door it was hidden behind. Giving your thanks you stride proudly toward it, head held high as you give a steady knock on the fine wood.

"Enter."

Twisting the knob you push it wide open, greeted with a slightly cool breeze. Like Zenos’ office, Varis' has no windows, but he is not in total darkness, as it is well lit by ornate lamps that stand in the corners. The room's glow is oddly warm for the cold stare of its occupant who sits at a rather large desk on the other side of the room. Between you and him are a grouping of chairs with a table at its center, and just from a glance you can tell it's only the highest quality leather. Shelves holding books line the walls, and there is even a small bar between them.

"You may sit." While phrased as a suggestion, it is uttered more like an order, and you nearly forget yourself before you shut your mouth and take a seat. The chair feels like it practically grabs you and drags you into its softness, the leather feeling amazing beneath your fingertips as you rest your hands on the armrests.

Varis continues to scribble away at whatever papers he's looking at on his desk, and taking a good look at him you notice he's wearing what seems to be a simple pair of reading glasses. They suit his face well and dare day soften his harsh features just enough that you would call him handsome. As usual, his hair is tied back in a low ponytail at the nape of his neck, ends clipped and perfectly trimmed and not a strand out of place.

"I appreciate that you at least have the decency to arrive here in a timely manner." He begins, placing his pen back in its stand. Threading his fingers together, he gives you an almost bored look, and you can see the traces of his son's features in his eyes. "I do not require you to be trained in any specific espionage for this. Simply act as you normally would and do not bring embarrassment to my name." Pushing away from the desk, he opens a drawer to his right and pulls out a small black box. As he stands you fight the instinct to not stand as well, not feeling comfortable with him looming above you.

"Within this box lies a necklace that will be recording all your conversations. It will not be feeding us said conversations in real time and instead be saving them internally where you will turn it in at the end of each visit." He informs, opening the box and taking the necklace in hand. It looks so small dangling from his fingers, but so beautiful. The Garlean logo is held in place by oxidized silver chain, giving it a blackened color. The red of the Garlean logo is made with beautifully cut ruby, making you wonder why he would spend so much money for this purpose, but to a CEO, it’s probably a drop in the bucket.

"At the risk of being rude, do you seriously think they wouldn't be careful with their words?" You blurt, watching as he raises a strong brow.

"Garlond is foolish, but not that foolish." Varis huffs out a chuckle, clearly amused. "However, his bodyguard is stupid. Much like yourself, he had just enough muscle and training to make a decent enough meat shield that Garlond snatched him off the streets. Perhaps you can use that as a talking point." He smirks, reveling in your ire.

"Whatever. Go over there, kick the bodyguard’s ass, act normal. That it?" You snarl, through hiding your distaste for him.

"For someone as simple as yourself to understand, yes, if you must put it so crudely," he scoffs, moving to stand behind you. You move to stand but a firm hand on your shoulder keeps you in place. "I do not want you to just act 'normal'. I am fully aware how closely leashed my son keeps you. Perhaps you may find a kindred spirit in this bodyguard…" His fingers flex and dig into your suit. "Perhaps you might find something else."

"If you are done here," You snap, shrugging his hand away but his other hand comes to slink the necklace around your neck. The chain is cool and light against your skin and hardly noticeable.

"If you are so eager to go, you may. I have already arranged for your transportation to and from their estate. This is a rather important mission I am entrusting to you, savage. I trust I do not need to explain the consequences should you sabotage it, or fail." His fingers drag along the exposed skin of your neck, and despite the obvious warmth of his body, his touch feels so frigid. "If there was ever a time to prove your worth, this would be it."

With one final press of his fingers into your skin he withdraws and you stand to your feet immediately, shooting him a glare that restrains none of your loathing. He looks as amused as his son would, except his expression is like a knife twisting in your gut with how disgusted it makes you feel. "I've nothing to prove to you. Or to anyone here." You hiss, making your way toward the door.

"So you say," Varis hums, walking back to sit at his desk. Reclining in his leather chair, he gives you a slow smile. "I look forward to your reports, Honey."

With a curt nod that maintains the bare minimum amount of respect, you walk out the door. Once in the hallway, you take a few steps before you feel safe enough to run through every cuss word known to you, unable to take out your anger on something physical. Taking some calming breaths, your hand glides up to the necklace that rests on your skin, frowning as you enjoy the feeling of the cool silver on your skin. You'd have to be careful with your own words as well, making sure to give nothing away or never knowing when it was recording. Something told you that the bodyguard, Estinien, was not stupid by any means, and that Varis merely looked down upon him like he did to anyone thay wasn't Garlean.

It's a lovely day outside as you step out, a Lalafellin driver waiting for you under the shaded awning. You greet him in acknowledgement, allowing him to open the door for you so that you may sit inside. As the door closes a sense of excitement bubbles within you, it finally starting to sink in that you are getting to leave the estate on your own for the first time in months. As the driver gets in the car and starts the engine, you gaze out at the sprawling grounds beneath an azure sky, missing the icy eyes watching you as the car pulls away.

The drive to the Garlond estate is longer than you think, as you have to go through the city which takes long enough in and of itself. Once you leave the skyscrapers behind, you're moving closer to the countryside, sitting just on the outskirts of Kugane. You've left the more packed residential areas behind and are left with bigger, more affluent houses that sprawl over the land. Most are as tacky and gaudy as the Galvus estate, making you wonder to yourself if all rich people had a propensity to have so much money and so little taste.

"We've arrived, ma'am." Your driver speaks up, the first words he's uttered since you first got in the car. Turning toward a gate you look toward a more modern looking home, that looks like it drew from neither Garlemald or Kugane for inspiration. All squares and boxes, it still looks eye-catching, protected by a wrought iron gate with a speaker outside that the driver pulls up next to.

Reaching with small arms, you watch as he pushes the button, that is followed by a sharp beep. "Garlond estate," A feminine voice answers.

"Hello, I am the chauffeur for Lord Varis, here to bring his son's bodyguard for her appointment." The driver responds.

There is momentary silence aside from the quick rustle of paper. "All right, you may come in. Please follow the driveway to the main entrance." As soon as she finishes her sentence, there's a loud buzz followed by the front gates slowly swinging open, allowing you inside. The driver does as instructed and follows the brick road toward the opulent house ahead of you. Getting closer, it somehow looks even more magnificent, and you entertain the idea of beating Cid nan Garlond's current bodyguard into the ground so well he'd consider hiring you.

Reaching the front doors, you see the man himself standing outside in simple slacks and a button down. Certainly not casual for being in what you assume is his own home, but definitely dressed for business while maintaining a sense of comfort. The car pulls to a stop, the driver shuffling out the seat to open the door and scuttle around to your side to let you out. Murmuring your thanks, you put one foot in front of the other and step out onto the hand laid brick, enjoying the feel of it beneath your feet. Cid nan Garlond himself offers a hand out to you, and you graciously place yours in his where he pulls you up from your sitting position with surprising ease.

He chuckles, most likely at your unintentional surprise clear as day on your face. “I may not get to be in the shop as much as I used to...but you lift enough machinery, you stay fairly fit.” He grins, giving your hand a firm shake. “I must say, this is already shaping up to be a much more pleasant experience without your employer to interfere.”

His smile is warm and welcoming, and you can’t help but open up to him in kind. “I have to agree. I must admit I had entertained the idea of pummeling your bodyguard so good you might consider hiring me while I was here.”

He releases a hearty laugh at that, releasing your hand with one more good handshake. “Why, I think I like you already, Honey.” Placing a courteous hand on your back, he urges you toward the front door where sweet air conditioning awaits.

Stepping in his home, it looks as beautiful inside as it does on the outside. You stare in awe at everything as you pass by, doing your best to follow behind closely.

“I take it my home is to your liking?” Cid questions, slowing his pace so that you may gawk a little longer.

“I apologize, I don’t mean to linger,” you giggle nervously, cheeks tinting. What a bum you must look like, the street rat Zenos calls you to be slipping on her Cinderella shoes for a taste of luxury.

“It’s more than all right. I’d rather it be looked at after all, I had it built for that reason.” He says with a wink. “I do not miss ‘home’ but I am also impartial to the native architecture. I instead favored the style I saw back from my stay in Eorzea.” He explains, giving you a whole new perspective on his home. No wonder you didn’t recognize anything about it; Eorzea was somehow even more foreign than Garlemald. Celebrities would visit from there all the time, but somehow you just...never...knew anything about it…

She watches over us, my dear. Over all of Eorzea, over your room, over you.

She?

The Mother Crystal, my dear.

“Are you all right?”

Blinking, your eyes slowly refocus back to Cid’s blue eyes that look upon you with concern. You quickly give him a small smile, scratching your head nervously. “I apologize. Just a slight dizzy spell.”

You see obvious doubt flash through his eyes for a moment before he masks it with something else. “Do you need to sit down?” He offers instead of saying whatever it was he was holding back.

“No, no, I’m fine, I promise.” You reassure him, taking a few steps ahead. “I think it was just a wave of fatigue from my earlier spar with Zenos.”

He relaxes visibly then, resuming his walk to wherever he was taking you. “You had sparred knowing you would be coming here?”

“We spar every morning,” you offer vaguely, hoping he doesn’t press you further about it. To think about the nuances of you and Zenos’ relationship was exhausting in itself, and you definitely didn’t want to get into explaining it.

Cid seems to be quick on the pick up and segues the conversation elsewhere. “I see. Well, I’m sure someone as talented as yourself knows their limits and is more than capable of taking on another strong opponent today.”

“Without a doubt, Mister Garlond.”

“Please, if I may call you by your given name, then it is only right I extend the same kindness, at least when your employer is not around.” He turns down a hallway, leading you past a magnificent indoor garden, that despite its large size, it was in no way visible from the outside. “Estinien usually has finished his own training by this time, but I believe he may have delayed it in preparation of your meeting today.”

“I have to say I’m a little excited. It's been so long since I’ve had an opponent outside of Zenos.” You admit carefully, trying not to stare at him too hard as you gauge his reaction.

“I fear Estinien could possibly say the same. Thankfully, I’ve kept myself out of trouble and he’s been more a piece of arm candy than an actual bodyguard.” He jokes, giving you a warm smile.

“Arm candy, am I?”

The two of you turn to find Estinien standing behind you, looking as grumpy as the first time you had met. Brows furrowed, he gives a threatening glare to Cid who seems largely unconcerned.

“Now, now, no need to take offense. After all, it just means you look good, now don’t you?” Cid teases, laughing as Estinien’s brow furrows impossibly further.

Sure enough, Estinien does look good. Dressed in a loose tank top, his usually unbound hair is tied back in a high ponytail, exposing the elegant line of his neck. Unlike Zenos who prefers to wear form fitting gym wear, Estinien has chosen some grey sweatpants that are baggy enough to be comfortable, but snug enough to where they won’t be a hindrance.

And if you give just a glance between his legs--

“But what are you doing out here Estinien? I thought you would be warming up for your little bout with our guest.” Cid comments as he begins to walk again to continue escorting you to wherever it was he was taking you.

“I went to grab something to eat.” He fishes out some dried calamari from his pocket, neatly wrapped in wax paper.

“Your favorite as usual, I see. Did you think to bring enough to share with our guest?” Cid asks, taking clear pleasure out of taunting poor Estinien.

“If she gets hungry I’ll take her to the kitchens,” The Elezen grumbles, frown deepening. “If you’re quite through making fun of me at my expense, I believe I can get the both of us to the gym quite well on my own.”

“Of course, I can see when I am clearly in the way and unwanted.” Cid sighs, unable to resist getting one last barb in. “It was a pleasure to share a few moments with you, Honey. Please do not hesitate to put this grouch in the ground if he tries anything untoward with you.”

You hear Estinien’s breath audibly hitch for a moment, your hands flying up to your mouth to stifle your laughter as the taller man goes red in the face. Before Estinien can even formulate a response Cid is already making a turn down the maze that is his house.

The frost haired male runs his fingers through his snowy locks in exasperation, his cheeks still a slight pink even as he glares down at you. “Ignore him.” He huffs, displacing the once bound strands. “He just likes to get a rise out of me, is all.” He grumbles, moving on past you. You give one last little titter before following along, trying not to embarrass him any further.

“So, did you have anything in particular planned for today?” You ask, following him down the hallway. Opening a door he lets you two outside where another building lies across the way. While smaller by far in comparison to the main house, it is still the size of an average home.

“Not in particular. Figured we’d just hit each other until one of us cried mercy.” He drones, his long legs carrying him across the land with ease. You find that he has a rather nice figure from behind, his shoulders broad and strong, leading to firm biceps that were muscular, but not bulky. His waist was fairly narrow, his thighs’ musculature similar to the rest of him in that it was obvious he took care of himself, but did not care about mass.

And would that you could actually find the opportunity to see if you could bounce gil off that ass of his…

Get your head out of the gutter for two seconds, girl, you mentally chide yourself, instead focusing on the rosy points of his ears. For someone so decidedly irritable, he is, it is clear he takes care of his appearance quite well. While his hair at first glance looks shaggy, it has the luster that only comes from expensive shampoo. Despite him already having looked like he worked up a sweat prior to his snack break, when he brushed by you you caught a whiff of what must be the remnants of his shower that morning.

“Well if you have no preference for how you have your ass kicked, then who am I to complain?” You snark, snickering as he throws a confident glare over his shoulder in your direction.

“We’ll see about that.”

Reaching the building, you find that it really is about the size of a normal house. When you step in, it certainly has that appearance, and you feel that somehow the meeting has taken on a more personal tone. Leading you down a much smaller hallway, he opens a door and flicks on the light, revealing a home gym that is nearly the size of Zenos’ back at the estate.

“There’s water in that fridge over there,” he murmurs, pointing lazily at the miniature fridge nestled on a counter. “You can change in that bathroom over there.”

Nodding, you go do just that, dropping your gym bag to the floor with a thud. Changing out of your stuffy suit, you wonder if you could’ve just shown up in your workout clothes and if that would’ve been offensive. As you tug your shirt off, your hands brush against the cool necklace that has lied hidden beneath your button down. Though the metal still is cool to the touch, it is also warm from having adjusted to your body heat, making you forget its presence. Reminding yourself to watch your words and mind what you say, you continue to dress.

Stepping out, you look around the gym a little more. It is similar in structure to Zenos’ granted instead of katanas and other sword types being displayed on the wall, you instead see--

“You know how to use a lance?” you blurt out, attracted to the glint of the metal on the opposite wall. Your feet carry you there without thinking, hand reaching out to touch before Estinien grabs your wrist with barely a touch of gentleness.

“Lances. Glaives, spears, and pikes. And they are not for you to touch.” He huffs, eyes hard and serious.

Smirking, you twist from his grip unexpectedly, grabbing his arm and swinging him onto his back on the floor. You pin him with nothing more but your weight, your thighs resting near his strong ones, smirking down at him. “Very well. I’m only good with swords anyway.”

He gives his own smirk, and you yelp as it grows wider as he suddenly jerks the both of you to where you now lie on your back beneath him. “An uneven fight. I believe we are both skilled in hand to hand combat.”

“Do you pin all your house guests?” You tut, giving him an offended look.

“Only those that are incredibly cocky and need to be put in their place.”

Riled up, you break free from his hold, the two of you creating space between your two bodies. He slowly slides into a crouch, arms upraised, guarded, his sneer somehow inflaming you further. “Why the face? Afraid you can’t back up all that talk?” He taunts, feet shuffling across the floor.

“I’ll show you talk--” You dash at him, kicking a leg out for his face. His reflexes are fast; he dodges the first kick easily, so you decide to speed it up. What he doesn’t dodge, he blocks, your legs coming into contact with the hard muscle you so shamelessly ogled earlier. You can see a mote of surprise on his face; he clearly wasn’t expecting you to be this swift. Smirking, you press harder, looking to break his guard.

“I think you might be too used to fighting your charge.” He growls, snatching you by the leg on your next kick. Before you can wrench it out, he’s swung his head underneath, hooking your leg practically around his neck. Standing to his full height, he throws you off balance, leaving him able to take the rest of your weight and flip you over his shoulder and dump you on the floor.

For a moment, you stare up at the ceiling in a daze, adrenaline coursing through your veins.

When was the last time you had been surprised?

You haven’t fought anyone else aside from Zenos. He has been your only opponent for months.

You had grown stale.

You had grown weak.

You had found a challenge.

You giggle for a moment, an emotion you hadn’t felt in so long bubbling up from deep within. Estinien casts you a concerning glance, did I flip her too hard an evident question on his face.

“Oh...you’re right pole boy...it has been a long time.”

“Pole boy…?!” He mumbles angrily, watching as you jerk yourself back up to a standing position in one fluid motion.

Dusting yourself off, you roll your shoulders, clench and unclench your fists. When you look him in the eye, he gasps, seeing a different look entirely coming from you.

“Let’s dance.”

It is refreshing beyond words to have a new opponent, so much so you can't keep a smile off your face. Skilled as you are, within the first hour you've got a good grasp of Estinien's fighting style, able to begin countering him with little difficulty. Despite this, despite Zenos being right he would be hardly a match for you, it has highlighted weak points and blind spots you have missed training solely with Zenos. Where Zenos often uses a mix of bulk and speed to overwhelm his opponent with sheer might, Estinien uses his leaner frame to duck and weave, able to strike you where Zenos would've been too slow. Where Zenos rushes you down, Estinien hangs back, poised like a cobra ready to strike.

"I don't think I've seen anyone smile as much as you have during a bout," The Elezen man comments as he moves to grapple you. You slip out of his grasp but he is quick to recover before you can take advantage and land a hit on him.

"Good opponents are hard to come by." You compliment, circling him as you try to debate your next move.

He lets out a rude snort. "You don't have to spare my feelings. I'm man enough to know when I'm outmatched." His lips pull into a smug grin. "But I will take the compliment anyway."

"You're welcome," you grunt, kicking out at him again, prepared for him to catch your leg. He only blocks it so you swing around to bring up the other in hopes he will be too slow. Just before he can bring his hands up to grab hold of your leg bring it back down. You smirk at the confusion etched on his face, watching it turn to shock as you dip low and sweep his feet from under him the same time you give him a hard shove, letting gravity do the rest. Estinien crashes to the floor and you pounce him like a couerl, making sure to actually pin him in place, your hand fisted in his shirt. "Do you give?"

He looks up at you in a daze for a moment, his chest heaving from exertion. Wonder seems to pass through his eyes, before it morphs into a dark appreciation. "I give."

"Good." you grin, relaxing your hold on him. "I think we've had more than a good workout," you breathe, taking note of how far the hands of the clock on the opposite wall have moved. "This has been most enjoyable, but I don't think I'll over stay,"

Before you can begin to rise, his hands grip your thighs, nearly kneading the muscle there. Your face flames instantly, eyes wide as you stare in shock at the brazen, Elezen man beneath you.

"I hope you wouldn't be opposed to making this a...regular thing." He purrs, voice so low you can feel it vibrate through his chest and therefore through you. Interest stirs low in your belly, pink tongue darting out to swipe over your lips unconsciously.

"Are you so...open with all your guests?" You ask, settling your weight on him further.

"Only the ones that kick my ass." He licks his own lips, not bothering to hide the desire swimming in his eyes. "And that happens to be a very small list." His fingers flex and you wish you could feel what it would be like to have his hands touching your bare skin.

"I see." You murmur, bending over, heart racing as your lips lie just a breath away from his. "Though if what I'm feeling beneath me is any indication for how you're feeling...I'm guessing you want more than just tips on how to not get your ass beat."

He scoffs, giving you a mean look. "Has anyone ever told you you talk too much?"

Before you can retort he closes the distance, pressing his lips to yours almost feverishly. It has been so long since you've been kissed like this, where someone so clearly, so unabashedly wants you. You take the lead which seems to startle him for a second as you request entrance into his mouth but he's quick to catch up, your tongues dancing together so well it draws a moan from deep within.

As you part for air, you have to stop your hips from scooting down just that little bit further and grinding down. Usually you would be ashamed; to have more than a peck on the first date so-to-speak was unheard for you. But then again, your other needs had been suppressed for so long…

"Won't your boss find it suspicious if I keep coming over here?" You ask, arching into him as his lips trail down your jawline.

"Hardly. He already expected you would come here often," he trails off, your eyes widening at what he was not saying.

We already knew he would send you to spy on us.

"So come as much as you like." He gives a sharp nip that pulls a surprised squeak that ebbs into a moan as he suckles the skin, leaving a mark. "And if you're willing to give me a chance...I could make you come as much as you'd like too."

"I never took you as one to sleep on the first date," You rasp, unable to keep your hips from grinding down. You shudder atop him, nails digging into his arms.

"Oh rest assured, I am being quite the gentleman right now. I simply find myself unable to resist having my ass kicked by an attractive woman." He purrs, eyes half lidded.

You flush for an entirely different reason now, wondering how long it had been since someone had expressed such blatant affection, how could it be that your enemy--

Wait--

Is he your enemy--

No, no, Varis is, you're here to stop Varis, through Zenos--

Zenos--

He…

"I have to go."

You crawl from atop him, heart twisting as you flee from the building. Stumbling outside, the sun hangs near the top of the sky, giving you nowhere to hide from your shame. Whipping your work phone out you let the chauffeur know you'll be out shortly, thankful that you memorized the path Cid led you down so that you can make it out the house without getting lost in it. One would think you actually did the deed with how fast you book it out of there, feet crashing hard against the driveway as you dash through the open gate and into the tinted car.

The driver looks slightly panicked but you assure him that all is well and make up a lie that you're supposed to have been back to the mansion half an hour ago. He all but floors the gas, peeling away from the Garlond estate and back toward the mansion, your fingers clutching your necklace to your chest.

“You are back later than I expected.” Varis notes as you stalk into his office. Standing by the window, he arches a single brow. He says nothing as you all but slam the necklace down on his desk, doing your best to keep your expression blank and reveal nothing. “How did it go?” he asks as he moves to sit down and finger the necklace between long fingers.

“Isn’t that what the necklace is for?” You snap, wanting nothing more than to shower again for the second time today and crawl in bed.

Thin lips pull into a cruel smirk. “Of course. But that is for someone else to listen to and make sure you have not sold any secrets that would be...problematic for you.” He drawls, playing with the necklace in his hand.

Baring your teeth, you resist the urge to punch him in his stupid face. “I went over there, and I kicked his ass.”

“For three hours?”

“Yes, for three hours.” You sigh, exasperated. He knew you hated him, and clearly was not above dragging this out as long as possible just to irritate you.

At least I can see where Zenos gets it from…

“Interesting.” He muses, holding the emblem between his thumb and forefinger. “And would you like to return?”

It is your turn to arch a brow at him, crossing your arms across your chest. “Would I like to?” you repeat, making sure you heard him correctly. He nods. “I understood it as I did not have a choice in the matter.”

“As I told you before, Garlond is not stupid.” The older man places the necklace upon his desk, threading his fingers together to rest his head upon his hands. “His bodyguard might be nothing but a meatshield, but I doubt he is not competent enough to know how to watch his words if Garlond had debriefed him.” Leaning back, he fixes you with a knowing smirk. “After all, you have nothing of note to report, am I correct?”

“No,” you grumble, wishing you couldn’t give him the satisfaction of being right.

“As I had thought. In which case, if they will be so tight lipped, there is no need to expend the energy or resources of sending you over there. I’ve never been able to understand Garlond’s fondness for the countryside, as that alone makes any wish of visitation dry up like a forgotten well.” He barks out a laugh at the incredulous expression you didn’t even realize you had on your face. “Well if there is nothing else, you are dismissed. I will be sending your outing to some lackey to comb through later.” With a dismissive wave fitting his dismissal of you, he picks up the necklace once more, spinning to face away from you.

You remain shocked for but a few more milliseconds before deciding to take it for what it is and leave.

You didn’t think Varis would let you have any say on whether or not you would return to the Garlond estate, but even he could see to reason that you wouldn’t get anything out of them just by fighting his bodyguard. Thinking about Estinien again makes your lips tingle, about how well he treated you. His lips aside, he really was a decent training partner to help you work out any kinks in your defense, and you could hone his skills as well…

But you still had your commitment to Zenos. Could you really fit in waking up at the crack of dawn to train with him, to spend hours bored at work watching over him, to accompany him as you watch him murderer innocents? You had to, it was your job in more than one way. The Kugane Police were counting on you.

Feeling eyes on you, you glance up, spying cold, blue eyes glancing down at you from a balcony above. No words pass between you, but somehow, seeing him sets your heart racing, racing for so many reasons. What would he think, knowing how you acted over there?

...Why would he care?

Why do you care?

“Oh, Honey...if I wanted you, I would have you.”

Spinning on one heel, you head straight back for Varis’ office. You do not knock as you push the mahogany door open, Varis glancing up from whatever forms he was signing looking fit to chew you out.

“Do you not have manners, savage?”

“I want to continue my visits with Estinien. At the Garlond estate.”

He stares at you in silence, his face relaxing until a dark look overtakes it. Leaning back in his chair, he steeples his fingers together, teeth gleaming along with the traitorous glint in his eye. “Is that so?”

[voldemorthatesnose96]

RETROUVAILLES

(The final part)

Chapter one

Chapter two

Chapter three

Big thanks to @dreamy-slytherin for making a drawing for this fic❤️❤️❤️

 Earthlingoddity :

Do you need me to pick you up at the bus stop?

Sterkerdanijzer :

Sander, for a THOUSAND times since yesterday evening, I’m fine LOL! Really, don’t worry too much, please😌

Earthlingoddity :

You sure?

Sterkerdanijzer :

If you asks that again, the deal’s off

Earthlingoddity :

OK OK OK! I’ll shut up now. Careful on your way. Been preparing some croques for you

Sterkerdanijzer :

You’re the best!

Btw...

Uh-oh.

Is he gonna back out now? Is something happen? Did he say something wrong just now?

Sander tries to calm his breath as he types.

Earthlingoddity :

Yes, Robbe?

Sterkerdanijzer :

Do you mind if I bring Peter Pan along again?🥺he’s gonna be good. Pinky promise!

Sander lets out a very relief breath. Why does Robbe always makes him feel on edge, though? He really have it bad.

Earthlingoddity :

Jesus, you scared me for a sec right there. Of course you can

Sterkerdanijzer :

You really are THE BEST, Mr Driesen. See you in 15 mins!!

It takes five minutes for Sander to finally comes back to reality when Robbe called him Mr Driesen. Okay, he’s been calling that many times by many people BUT it feels much different when Robbe did it. Somehow Sander can hear Robbe’s voice through his phone saying that, and... God, he doesn’t know what to think anymore. What a blessing that no human can hear each other’s thoughts; because sure as hell, Robbe will run away once he knows about Sander’s inner thought.

Yesterday, Sander insisted to pick Robbe at his flat because it’s a bit far but Robbe always declined—said that distance never really matters to him whatsoever. Maybe Sander was being overreacted but he already feels protective of this cute yet unpredictable guy, and definitely not the same feeling like he’s being protective of a friend. Yeah, maybe he should tone it down a bit. Robbe’s not a kid, he’s capable of taking care of himself.

Trying to distract himself, Sander is now standing in front of the kitchen counter, staring at the croque he just made few minutes before he sent the text to Robbe. For today, he needs to impress Robbe—from his dish to this safe haven. Sander woke up at five in the morning today after doing a morning yoga routine to calm himself from the nervousness and then tidying his half-messy flat.

“Croques, don’t let me down,” Sander pleads as he lifts the plate. “don’t let my crush down. Please!”

He almost drops the plate when he hears a knock on his door.

Shit!

Okay this is it!

Sander is half-running to the door, taking a deep breath before he holds the knob and opens it. The first thing he sees is Peter Pan excited face; he’s too excited so he literally jumps into Sander’s arms and licks his face.

“Sorry,” Robbe laughs but his tone is definitely not sorry. “he’s being so impatient to meet you.”

“No...” Sander replies in between Peter Pan’s kisses. “problem... at all.”

“Is this the croque you were talking about earlier?”

“Yep!” Sander answers as he puts Peter Pan down, watching his tail shaking left and right and a minute later he’s already out of sight to explore the place.

“Looks good,” Robbe smiles at Sander and the world stops for a second—or at least it feels like for Sander. “can I eat them now? I’m starving.”

Sander clears his throat and force a laugh, “Sure, but I won’t be responsible if you suddenly get a stomachache.”

“I’ll take that risk for you.”

Sander raises his eyebrow. His feet unknowingly takes a step closer—close enough for his hand to graze Robbe’s, but he can’t do it. Yet. So instead, he says, “don’t say something like that.”

Sander thought Robbe will back out, but to his surprise and excitement, he smiles mischievously and says, “or what?”

Sander smirks, “Or I’ll feed you this croque by myself.”

“Please do.”

Excuse me?

What did he just say?

“Go on,” Robbe encourages Sander. “Feed me. I’m waiting.”

Oh, it’s on!

All the way or no way, Driesen.

Without saying another word, Sander grab a piece of his dish and feed it to Robbe who slowly opens his mouth and bites it.

Fucking hell and this infuriating sexual tension!

Sander knows he should look away but he can’t—even when Robbe closes his eyes to savor the food, Sander finds himself more captivated by him. These lips; how does they feel like? How does they taste like? Are they gonna be as soft as silk? As decadent as the most expensive chocolate?

But he must stop. He should stop his thoughts—this kind of thoughts, to be exact or there’ll be an unnecessary trouble.

“Is it good?”

“Divine,” Robbe says, smiling softly but later turns serious. “You okay? Your face look tense.”

Of course, I’m not okay, Robbe! He thought bitterly.

“Yes,” Sander answers in a clipped voice. “Would you like to do it now?”

Robbe is clearly confuse by Sander’s sudden dismissal but doesn’t say anything about it. To be completely honest, his feeling is a bit hurt.

“Okay.”

Sander turns his back to see Robbe’s hurtful face and immediately feels bad, “sorry,” he breathes. “It’s just.. whenever I’m around you, my brain’s stop working.”

“Am I that bad?”

Sander almost laugh, “God, no. You’re far from that. You’re special, Robbe IJzermans.”

Hearing this, Robbe’s blushes hard and quick. This is the very first time he hears someone—not just someone—but Sander Driesen, the coolest guy on YouTube, actually said that he’s special. His heart’s beating really, really fast right now.

“Komaan.” Sander says as he takes Robbe’s hand to his room.

The first thing Robbe sees is a HUGE poster of David Bowie in front of Sander’s bed. It’s so huge that maybe it can be use as a blanket.

“Cool, huh?” Sander chuckles when he notices Robbe’s ‘awe’ expression.

“So cool.”

“You can stare at him all you want later,” Sander says as he sits on the floor and grabs his guitar. “Alle kom, Robbe! Sit beside me.”

Robbe do what he’s been told. Something like the ocean and summer breeze from Sander catches his nose and Robbe finds himself inhaling that scent deeply.

Perfect. Now his heart beats erratically again.

“You ready?” Sander asks, looking straight at Robbe’s eyes.

“I am.”

Sander can feel Robbe’s nervousness and knowing it’s because of his presence can do such thing to his crush, it makes him smile so wide. Before he can stop, his hand touches Robbe’s cheek, “you’ll be fine. Okay?”

Robbe nods. He takes the flower crown from his bag and wears it.

“Cutie,” Sander mumbles softly under his breath before he presses “enter” on his keyboard to start the video.

“Hey everyone, Sander’s here and I’m with someone really special today,” he looks at Robbe whose eyes are as big as a globe because he’s too shock. “Introduce yourself. Go on!”

Robbe blinks fast as he comes back to earth, “uh, yeah! It’s Robbe and I agreed to do a collab with Jack Frost beside me.”

“Jack Frost, huh?”

“Yes, you are.”

“Fair enough,” Sander grins. “What are we gonna do today?”

“Whatever you want.” Robbe answers innocently.

“I have a lot of things on my mind about it BUT we’re gonna do an impromptu song cover for now.”

“What are we gonna sing?” Then Robbe quickly adds. “Oh not Bowie or anything that we particularly love.”

“I’m listening.” Sander says seriously.

“What’s song that’s been on your playlist for awhile, you like but never really sing it out loud?”

Sander immediately replies, “Ben Howard’s song called Promise.”

The big smile Sander adores so much reappears, “I also happened to know that song! Shall we sing it now?”

Just when Robbe is about to sing, Peter Pan suddenly bursts in, quickly finds place on his lap and sleeps. They can’t help but laugh at this marvelous sight.

“Sorry, viewers. This is just my puppy, Peter Pan.”

“And he’s dead tired.” Sander adds, chuckling.

“Anyway, let’s continue. You sing first, Sander!”

The cheerful vibes between them gradually turns much calmer when Sander sings the first chorus.

“And meet me there, bundles of flowers, we wait through the hours of cold...”

Robbe continues.

“Winter shall howls at the wall, tearing down doors of time...”

Both are singing melodiously, much to their surprises because none of them really actually practice or anything. It’s purely ‘in the moment’ situation. Hundreds of comment keeps on coming, saying they look really cute together, etc etc etc. The views rapidly increases from two thousand something to eleven thousand within few minutes.

Robbe admires ardently how Sander plays the guitar in the most calming manner possible. No rush, no hesitation, no doubt—it feels like he was born to hold that instrument. These tattoos, especially the Bowie’s lightning one on Sander’s wrist is making him look even more ethereal. Bleached-blond hair with black clothes and tattoos; Sander Driesen is the perfect example of a sweetest sin that Robbe will gladly accepts.

On the other hand, Sander never truly realises how beautiful Robbe is, now that he’s finally be able to sees his face up close. Everything about him is perfect—too perfect for him. He wonders how it feels like to have their bodies wrap together, with or without clothes. How his fingers slowly but hungrily traces every inch of Robbe’s body.

“Who am I darling, to you? Who am I? Going to tell you stories of mine... who am I?” Sander sings, never breaking the eye contact from Robbe. “Who am I darling, for you? Who am I? Going to be a burden... who am I darling, to you? Who am I?” He continues when his crush is too stunned to say anything.

Fuck it! I don’t care anymore!

Sander puts his guitar aside, places one hand on Robbe’s cheek, and without thinking, without worrying about the fact that thousands of people are watching this live stream, Sander kisses him. He promises to himself that if Robbe gives him the slightest uncomfort, he’ll back down, just like that.

But the greedy monster inside him roars in victory when Robbe’s also leaning closer and deepening the kiss.

After several long moments, or maybe several moons later (okay this is too much but it does feel like it for Sander), both finally breaking the kiss to catch a breath.

Robbe breathes, “Wow, that was...”

“Amazing?”

“Spectacular?”

“Show-stopping?”

“Never the same?”

“Totally unique?”

“Brilliant?”

Sander laughs loud until his nose scrunches, “unbelievable. We just kissed and suddenly mimicked Lady Gaga’s wisdom words? Never been done before.”

Robbe laughs nervously. His lips are chapped, so does Sander’s.

“You do realise that we’re still going live, right?”

“Of course I do and I don’t care,” Sander abruptly turns to camera and says proudly. “mense, I just kissed my crush in front of you all, even the world, and I have no regrets. I’ve been dying to kiss him for months and now I finally got it. And that also concludes today’s video. See you very soon and thanks for watching!”

“I still can’t believe we actually did it.”

Sander gives him a peck, “oh but we just did.”

Robbe smiles shyly, “so, what are gonna do now?”

“Kissing, talking, kissing again, lots of kissing, talking,” Sander smirks. “What about you?”

“Just kiss me now, please.”

Sander kisses Robbe again and again then whispers, “You don’t need to say please, engel.”

Couple hours later

[cloverhighfivewritestoo]

The Wrecking Reindeer

👉 Read it on Ao3

Destiel domestic tooth-rotting Christmas-themed fluff slice of life

w/c 1.4k

Summary: Dean and (human)Castiel bought their first house, in the country side, and Dean hung Christmas lights to make their house pretty.

A/N - Thank you SO MUCH Jackie for letting me use your art!!! I saw this ancient piece (2014!!) from @winchester-reload​ on one of her posts, and I HAD to answer her question: “Why is Dean threatening that reindeer? We’ll never know.” Tl;dr: because Dean loves Cas. But go read it. BTW this art is eons away from Jackie’s current art (which you must go see). Still, I love this one. Dean’s face LOL

It was late afternoon, dusk easing in to night. Dean and Castiel had gone to the grocery store and, when they came back, the lights Dean so painstakingly put on the house were torn down. Again.

“THE FU-“

“It’s OK, Dean, I’ll help you put them back up.”

Dean whined. “How many times I’ve put those back up?” He huffed a whine again. “And I wanted to put some around the fir trees, too. You know, make it extra pretty.”

"It’s already quite beautiful. Why put more?"

Dean was turning grumpy. "Because that's how it's done, Cas. You fall in love, you get a house, and you decorate it for Christmas, and more is better. OK?"

“OK, Dean, if you say so.”

“I don't say so, it is so.” His eyes widened and he smiled. “Just wait. The Christmas lights and the snow falling? – he made an encompassing gesture – Magical. And when the snow hangs on the trees and on the lights, and they shine through? – he made his gesture again, but bigger – übermagical."

“Dean, I’ve seen galaxies and nebulae.”

“Pff. Small stuff.”

They unpacked and put away the groceries, and went out to replace the lights. First, they redid the windows, Dean using twice as many clips. Then, they went for the ones hung from the roof. This time, Dean drilled holes in the gutter and used tie-wraps. Once done, he climbed down the ladder, smiling. He looked at the lights on the house. “Hah. Now, they’re going nowhere.” He turned to Castiel. “Well, hello, ladder holder.” He gave Castiel Eskimo kisses and a peck on his lips. He smiled like a kid. “Let’s do the fir trees!”

Dean practically sauntered to the first tree. When it was done – Dean humming Christmas songs the whole time – they went to the other tree. As Dean was almost done placing the lights carefully spaced, Castiel following him around with the bulk of the string, they heard some noise behind them.

“SON OF A BITCH!” Dean let the Christmas lights fall down, unsheathed his machete as he ran and grabbed by the rein the reindeer currently hoofing the thin blanket of snow. It was looking for something to eat and getting its antlers tangled in the lights from the fir tree in the process. “YOU! You stop right now or I’m making steaks with you!”

“Dean! Stop!” Castiel threw the string of lights to the ground and went to Dean.

Dean was still holding up his machete, threatening the animal. “But he’s the one messing up my lights!”

“He’s a young buck from the farm down the road. Can’t you see?”

Dean looked at the reindeer, who was grunting and trying to shake the lights off. “Huh. You think?”

Castiel sighed. “You’re holding him by the rein. He’s clearly someone’s. Come on.” Castiel took the rein and petted the reindeer’s nose. “There, there. It’s alright. We’ll get the lights off your antlers and bring you back to your home.” The reindeer grunted.

Castiel, with the help of a still grumpy Dean, untangled the lights. Once the reindeer freed, Castiel walked a bit further with him and stroke his fur. “He’s nice. I like him.”

Dean was holding the string of lights. “Just let me put these back before we take him to his owner.”

Dean repaired the damage on the first tree, finished the second tree and plugged everything in. “Alright. All done.”

Meanwhile, Castiel had found an apple and was feeding it to the reindeer.

“Where did you find that?”, asked Dean.

“I leave them out for animals, if they need food for the winter.”

Dean rolled his eyes. Why wasn’t he more surprised? “Apples. You leave apples around.”

“Yes.”

“No wonder reindeer come to our house. Next thing you know we’ll have deer and moose too. Not to mention all the squirrels.”

Castiel looked at Dean, a hopeful, gleeful twinkle in his eye. “You think?”

Dean huffed. “Come on, we’ll take Rudolph here back.”

“Can you leave your machete here though? We don’t want to frighten them.”

“It’s sheathed.”

“I can see it.”

Dean grunted. He went into the house.

Castiel was stroking the reindeer’s nose softly. “You can come again, but please don’t wreck Dean’s lights. It’s very important to him.” The reindeer grunted. Castiel answered, “Thank you.”

Dean came back out. “Alright, good to go.”

They walked down the road quietly, the reindeer in tow. Dean had his hands thrust in his pockets. Castiel knew he was still a bit grumpy. Castiel tugged at Dean’s sleeve until Dean understood Castiel wanted his hand. Dean’s expression softened instantly and he laced his fingers with Castiel’s. He gave Castiel a soft kiss. “You’re lucky I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Dean. Thanks for coming with me.”

Dean smiled at Castiel, a fondness in his eyes. “Always.”

They arrived at the house about 15 minutes later. When the door opened, the boys were greeted by a bubbly, red-haired girl. “Hi! OH MY GOD! Tauntaun!” She stepped out, threw her arms around the reindeer’s neck and hugged him. “Where were you?”

Dean said, “You called him Tauntaun? That’s awesome.”

She smiled at Dean. “Thanks.” She scrunched her nose. “Was he at your house?”

Castiel answered, “He likes to play with our Christmas lights.”

Dean added, somewhat for Castiel, “And eat apples my dear boyfriend here leaves around the yard.”

“Oh if you’ve got apples, he’s sure going to try to escape and go eat them.” She stroke Tauntaun’s nose. “Oh, by the way, I’m Charlie. Hi.”

Castiel and Dean spoke together. “Hi Charlie.”

Dean made the introductions. “This is Castiel, and I’m Dean.”

“Hi Castiel, hi Dean. Thank you so much for bringing him back. I’ll go put him in his home, but would you like to come inside? I’ll make some coffee and I have a pecan pie that’s almost done.”

Dean’s face lit up. He looked at Castiel. Castiel chuckled. “We’d love to. Thank you very much.”

Dean, Castiel and Charlie had coffee and pie. Charlie told them all about her farm – she had many different animals, a lot of them rescues – and she invited the men to come for tea or dessert or coffee or dinner or chores or lunch or any time, really. Castiel was delighted at the prospect of being with the animals. Dean mostly found Castiel endlessly adorable and got his chair closer to him just because. When they left, Castiel and Dean felt they had made a new, dear friend. The extra slices of pie they were bringing back home were just a bonus.

They walked quietly, holding hands. Snow started falling in soft, big, fluffy, lazy clusters. Dean tried to catch a few on his tongue. Castiel thought he was intriguing. He tried to do the same. Dean thought Castiel was the most endearing snowflake-on-tongue catcher.

Castiel caught one and said, “It's rather pointless, it doesn’t taste like anything. I barely feel it a second on my tongue.”

Dean hugged him close and said in a low voice, smiling against his cheek, “If you weren’t already my boyfriend I’d ask you out.” He kissed him and they kept walking, Castiel confused for a moment but letting it go.

Getting closer to their property, the lights on the house, with the snow falling, were in full effect, making a perfect real-life postcard.

“Look, Cas.”

Castiel stopped. Dean stopped with him. Castiel let Dean’s hand go in favour of passing his arms around him and resting his head on Dean’s shoulder, his nose warming against Dean’s cheek. “You’re right”, he whispered, as if his voice could flutter the snow away, “this is magical.”

Dean kissed Castiel’s forehead. He whispered as well, as he hugged him closer, “Come on. It’s even more magical snuggled on the couch in the warmth of the house.”

Castiel looked up at Dean. “Is this why you needed to put lights on the fir trees too? So we can see the decorations from inside? It's a good idea.”

Dean had a mischievous smile. “And nothing like making our own magic by the light of the Christmas decorations. He he he…” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Castiel chuckled. “Dean, must you always…”

“Oh yeah.”

Dean looked at Castiel, whose eyelashes were whitening with the frost. His heart softened. “I love you, Cas.”

Castiel held Dean tighter. “I love you too, Dean.”

Dean’s kiss lingered on Castiel’s lips, and they kissed a little longer than they expected, content in the warmth of the other. Finally, they went inside to cuddle on the couch and look at their beautiful Christmas lights in the falling snow.

    I’d love to hear from you!

    Back to the Masterlist

Thanks for reading! And big big thanks again to @winchester-reload for being a sport about this old piece of art and letting me love it and publish this thing for it.

[seenashwrite]

Notes From Nash: Season 15, Episode 3

It's ep three, and was third try the charm? Well, we're still in that little town, which is infuriating. But don't lose hope, chickadees. There was some character arc action and some plot advancing, and just drama in general, and it moved at a decently quick clip, all of which is refreshing after last week's ass-disaster of an episode. 

If I were grading this ep, all things considered (including some damn fine acting moments that elevated the material), it's an A-. (Five points were docked immediately because we were still in the little town.) But seriously, this week's writer(s) had a LOT to make up for given the aforementioned last week as well as a largely lackluster premiere, so you know what? Props to them. 

We got a loose end from season past tied up, got rid of some dead weight, and then there was a thing that happened that I’m not entirely sure was necessary at this interval, but I get why it happened. Of course, we had our requisite random hamfisted “solution(s)” and still-unexplained bits that should’ve been clarified ages ago, can’t not have those, it seems. Regardless, this episode was actually fairly interesting to watch. I’m still wary about the state of the season after the first two, but this one had some spark.

Spoilers below the cut, you know the drill.  

This one's in order, I was jotting stuff down as I watched. Past ep breakdowns linked at the bottom. If you’re new, hello, welcome, etc., I don’t do meta shit or reading into the symbolism of the color of a blurry wallpaper just over someone’s shoulder, I look at writing and cohesiveness and structure and flow and all that jazz. I basically just call things as I see ‘em. 

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More spooky-scary still seems to be pouring from the hellpit, but at least this crypt is pretty, and Harry Potter tent-esque because the square feet inside is seemingly bigger than the outside.  

Rowena appears to be outfitted in one of my grandmother's housedresses, or a coffin lining, or a 1980s prom dress, whichever you prefer, and none of them have been pressed. I'm trying to say I don't like it. They also continue to do Ruthie's makeup in such a manner that she perpetually looks approximately fifteen years older than she actually is, so in a way I'm thankful this is likely her last episode. On the other hand, I trust these writers and the people who assemble/green light the promos about as far as I can throw them, so we shall see. In any event, Ruthie is quite the good actor and I hope she gets a million gigs after all this is done.  

This Sam-Dean moment with Creased Brow Sam and Gruff Voice Dean is falling so flat, not because of them, but because we're hearing The Same Damn Thing We've Already Heard. Move the plot along, please----- Oh wait here comes Belphagor once again with a solution, this time a nice little plot rescue MacGuffin! Lilith's Crook. Just gotta blow it like a horn. 

Motherbitch, this is stupid.

I got a thought: make it Gabriel's horn, so it calls in all the angels who should've come back with the reverse-y switch-a-roo, and they deal with sealing the hole, but bonus! At end of ep last scene is that it's also called Gabriel back, too. I'd announce to the universe that this show needs to hire me, but, welp.

Oh look, Ketch is in a hospital gown. Oh look, I bet Ketch is about to die in that hospital gown, instead of a badass suit like it should be. It looked like DHJ accidentally spoiled via a tweet that I happened to see----- 

I dodge the promo images and articles and such so I can give a view of someone who doesn't know what is coming in these things. 

-----because he talked about coming back just to leave again, that it was a pleasure, whatever, and y'all will have to fill me in on that because I kinda can't believe he whiffed that hard. I'm not looking it up, is my point. Did he whiff? Actually, don't answer that, I don't care. I mean, don’t go to trouble looking into it on my account.  

Hmmm. Was Ketch’s death entirely necessary? At least, right now? I dunno. Maybe. I’m 50/50 whether this, or have him be double-crossy then get killed later. In any event, well-acted by DHJ. He's quite fantastic. He is wasted in all the Hallmark dreck he's been in, I really hope he gets some good work after this. That's that. Moving on. 

We're 1/4 in, and I'll give it this: we've gotten some action, some drama, but they've GOT to make up for the lack of plot progression in episode 2. Belphagor is shady as shit, which we knew, and this just got reinforced by that demon who has such a hard-on for Belphagor getting axed. 

I do not mind rando badass lady hunter having lines and playing a tangentially-important role in the ep, but this means if we ever see her again, she'll likely get killed, so I'm not getting attached. 

So hell is an angry vagina. SFX, are y'all okay? Is that prick whose tweets occasionally come across my feed still working there? Y'all need some hugs? I know y'all need some better budget, that all the DC shows got it, but oh well, that ship's sailed.  

Well done set dec, I dig the ghoulish statues in that hallway. And hey costume design, I like the ring that dude was wearing, I would wear that in real life. It would also look great as a wrist cuff. I digress. 

We know this demon is not going to succeed in killing Belphagor, so once more we have a pointless halftime cliffhanger. Also, have I mentioned I'm done with Cas being a weak puss? I'm telling you, if stuff got rewound, he should be incrementally getting his mojo back, that tracks logically. See Ep. 1 notes for what I thought should've happened for a legit "Whoa" moment. 

"Do you have any idea what he is?" --- he's a poop demon. Again, see the first episode of @youtotallymadethatup​    /shameless plug

[sighs]

Is this show gonna end with a Jack vs. Jack battle royale? Because fuck that noise. But! Writing-wise, it's okay that ol’ Belph may become the big bad. Nash, why would you say that, you ask. Easy.

IT WILL GET US THE FUCK OUT OF THIS LITTLE TOWN

A. Ny. Thing. to get us the fuck out of this little town. I am so goddamned bored.

Cas, this is a mistake. You should leave. What are you doing. Leave. Don't fall for that. Leave. Go now. Whoosh. Okay, or glow worm and barbeque the body. That was a nice little catch of emotion by Misha at the end. Except are the demons now gonna jump into his body? Better not, we've seen that season. 

Commercials! Cannot believe I've not been inundated with the adverts for the convention here in the spring, that's usually the jam. Imma go get some frozen yogurt. Highly rec strawberry with a little warmed-up Nutella. Try it, then tell me I'm crazy. I'm not. It's heavenly. 

Aaaaand, we're back!

Don't look so distressed Cas, y’all were gonna burn it anyway. But this takes Jack v. Jack off the table. Hopefully this means we'll be headed back to the Empty to get some progress on that hanging thread from last season sooner rather than later. Still, I'm glad we are down a character for awhile, this character in particular was starting to work my nerves and honestly, is just dead weight. I want it back to Sam and Dean for the most part this final season with sprinklings of Cas. Everyone else is secondary.

[claps] Very excellent Ruthie and Jared. One critique: Wish there could've been some sort of line from Rowena, re: "And perhaps I'll get to see my boy again", something of that ilk.

But I want to say this, and say it emphatically:

The nonsensical spells pulled from asses must stop

The soul-catcher thing is an example of a great move because it drew upon the past, then built upon for the present. This heart and angel blood and salt shit, and then this “Oh by the way it needs my dying breath” stuff is just obvious “um um um well how about bleh” writing stumbles, and it shows. The only reason that lameness worked? Ruthie and Jared’s performances. Period. Because y’all gave them absolute garbage to work with, and they made it shine.

Hey! There's the two convention promos with one short local ad in between, followed by the same local ad again! I was beginning to think they'd forgotten! 

WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN, I REPEAT, WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN 

DEAN IS IN A HENLEY, I REPEAT, DEAN IS IN A HENLEY 

Oof, Dean. I mean, I figured this convo would have to happen one day, it's been building, because even though his intentions are good, Cas has been involved in his fair share of shit taking left turns. Hopefully Cas is going to go seek out other angels. Also, re: Cas saying he's getting weaker - because, why? WHY. This has never been addressed in a definitive, satisfactory manner. 

Right, so, like we do each time, let's check in to see if we've had any character development and/or plot progression: 

Do Ketch and Rowena and Belphagor count, since they've progressed to being dead? Dunno, that's more of a finality to their overall arcs. Dean's being an asshole and Sam's being weepy and Cas is being an Eeyore, that's about par. Meh. Okay. So did the plot get advanced? 

YES THANK YOU FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER SWEET LORD YES. But, eh... a little weaksauce. Yes, that chapter of the initial onslaught is closed, yet we know it's not over. So I feel like the ep should've ended with, after the bunker door slams, a cut to a little scene that serves as a clue about what lies ahead. I mean, ahead-ahead, season-wise. Like, twenty second blip, not even, then hard cut to black screen, then on to promo which appears to be MotW. 

So that's it, really. More adept writers could've made the material of #1 and #2 into the premiere (minus several things, most specifically minus Kevin, should've saved Osric for something else down the line), then this should've been episode #2 instead of #3. Can't unring that bell, though. Let's hope we hit some speed before Buckleming comes along to run us into a ditch, then (fingers crossed) we have a few eps after that to rebound for the finale.

See you next week.

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Past posts, from newest to oldest (and I sometimes do addendums if a response warrants)

Episode 2

Episode 1

[infpisme]

15 Things To Remember If You Love An Empath

1.  We cannot change, so please don’t expect that. 

Nothing will drive an Empath further away more than if you try to change our sensitivity and emphatic abilities. YES, we are different from the majority of the people you know but so what? We’re sensitive. We’re intuitive. We get easily overstimulated. We cry. We see the beauty in everything. We feel the pain of others. Don’t try to change us. It won’t work and we will close ourselves off to you immediately.

2.  Caging us will cause damage. 

We are like birds; we need to be able to fly freely to wherever our emotions take us. There will be highs and lows and twisting and turning in-betweens. Caging us is like clipping our wings. We will lose the light that guides our way if you try to control us. If that happens, we will shut down and the love we have to give gets tucked pretty deep inside of us. The damage is hard to undo but can be avoided by not trying to cage us.

3.  Time alone is non-negotiable.

Empaths need to re-energize in a space that is all their own. It will look differently for everyone but chances are they need time to be alone. It can be tiring always feeling the energy of the people surrounding us, please don’t be mad or annoyed when we need to refuel on our own. It doesn’t mean we don’t love or want to be around you. It means we need to quiet our mind and replenish our energy. We will come back happier than before, I promise.

4.  Take what we say seriously.

Empaths are extremely creative folks. There’s always a next idea that’s popping up in their head, listen to them. Take them seriously. Believe in them, even as crazy as the idea sounds. Empaths, arguably more than anyone else, have the ability to truly change the world. Listen to them when they pour their hearts out to you. Because somewhere in between their excitement, their passion and words that get jumbled, something quite amazing is ready to be created.

5.  Being supportive helps us open up.

We know we’re different, this isn’t new to us. We know the way we see life doesn’t make sense to a lot of non-empathetic people. We also know there’s a whole world of people out there trying to change us. If you want to love us, support us. Step out on a limb and put a little faith in us. This actually helps us feel safe enough to more open about who we are.

6.  Our intuition is usually spot on.

Contrary to popular belief, we actually do know what we’re talking about. We’re empathetic, remember? We feel everything. So, when we have a good feeling about something, trust us. When we have a bad feeling about something, trust us. When we go after a dream because it speaks to our hearts, trust us. When we think somebody is lying, trust us. For a non-empathetic person I understand this is putting a lot of “blind faith” in someone but trust me, trusting the Empath in you life will show her that you believe in what she’s saying.

7.  Be honest; dishonesty destroys us.

As an Empath, most people think sugar-coating things is the way to go. I will tell you with 100% certainty being honest is the ONLY way to go. The betrayal we feel from being lied to, after we have opened up our hearts and souls to you, is something that will take a very long time to recover from. It can, and most likely, will ruin your relationship. Just be honest.The couple of days of crying sure beats losing an Empath for good.

8.  Don’t compete with the love we have for our animals.

MOST, not all, but most Empaths feel unbelievably connected to animals and have a one or two (or seven) furry friends that they ABSOLUTELY LOVE. When I say connected what I really mean is they would do anything for them. Some days you will feel like you come second to them. If you want the honest truth, you kinda do. They can’t help it. The love they feel for their pets is different from the love they feel for you and it shouldn’t be competed with. Don’t try. I guarantee your wife will love you more if you can accept and appreciate the deep love she has for her dog.

9.  We need you to make us laugh.

Some days we need someone to pull us out of our non-stop minds and remind us what it is to laugh until our bellies hurt. To have fun like children do. To live in the moment and not be so serious all the time. We need someone to push the pause button for a moment and let us know it’s OK to enjoy ourselves.

10.  Know there are some things we will never give up.

There are things in this world that speak so clearly and directly to our hearts it feels like it’s apart of us. As dramatic as it may sound, it’s almost like we won’t be ourselves without it. It could be music, painting, photography, working for a non-profit organization, feeding the homeless. It’s love and passion. Some of the most passionate people in the world are Empaths. If we lose our passion, we lose ourselves. Please don’t ask or expect us to give up on something that has changed our hearts for the better.

11.  Our hearts break daily.

It’s overwhelming being an Empath. Some days all it takes is for somebody to say one “wrong” thing to me or to see an image of something terrible or hear a story about a person I don’t know who’s gone through the unthinkable and I’m crying like a baby. Our hearts break easily. It can be devastating at times to be an Empath so on those days, let us cry. No questions or advice needed, just accept our hearts are heavy from this world and we need to cry it out.

12.  Understand we love with great intensity.

It’s no surprise that when you feel deeply connected to almost everything, you love with great intensity. We truly feel “one” with our surroundings! So when we love somebody we feel one with them and our love is intense. It’s powerful. It can heal but in the wrong hands, it can be dangerous. In the right hands, it will change you forever. And for the better.

13.  Accept our abilities to feel the world around us.

Poking fun at our sensitivity is one thing. Judging, ridiculing and belittling who we truly are is another. Acting as if “this” is something we will “get over” is a kiss of death when in a relationship with an Empath. Accept us. Love us. We have a unique ability to see and feel the world differently. Don’t judge us, please.

14.  Don’t cast your insecurity on us.

It takes a secure man to really love an Empathetic woman. That is the God’s honest truth. If you want to tear her down by casting your insecurity on her, sadly it may work. Feeling how others feel isn’t something she can turn off. But I know if you do that, she will hide the best of her from you. She will temporarily clip her own wings and it will be your loss. The beauty and most amazing parts of her happen when she’s in motion.

15.  If it is too much, please leave gracefully.

Maybe you’ve met her at the wrong time, or it wasn’t meant to be forever or this is too much for you right now. Either way, love her by leaving gracefully. Do not cage her or put her down or make her feel insecure about who she is. Love her by leaving with respect and honesty. She will love and thank you for it.

If you get the chance to love an Empath even just once in your life, you are lucky. It won’t always be easy but it will most definitely be worth it.

Source: Ashley Gulla

[swhurtcomfort]

Chapter 4

Previous Chapter   -   A03

Note: the referenced conversation between Padmé and Obi-Wan comes from Karen Miller’s Wild Space

.....................

“But the little Tooka was much too fast. She ran through the garden, and back under the Tuanulberry bush. Under the—”

“The Tiny Little Tooka, hmm?”

Padmé looks up to see Obi-Wan’s shadow falling across the floor. She closes the picture book and holds Leia a little tighter.

“Is Anakin here?” he asks.

“I don’t know where he is,” says Padmé truthfully. Anakin had slipped off after their conversation with the doctor that morning, holding a piece of paper in his fist.

“He hasn’t answered my comms for two weeks. But I assume this is where he’s been most of that time.”

Padmé nods.

Obi-Wan stands up a little straighter. “Are you well, Senator?”

“Yes,” says Padmé. It’s true enough. She had been discharged from the medcenter that morning, although fatigue from the anemia is still a constant companion.

It’s awkward, being alone with him. The last they spoke in confidence like this, it was the week after Geonosis and Obi-Wan was urging her not to emotionally entangle Anakin any further. No good can come of this, for either of you. Well, he’d been wrong. Luke and Leia were proof of that.

“Please tell Anakin I need to speak with him immediately.”

“Is this the best time?”

“It is the only time, Senator. This is on the Council agenda for tomorrow afternoon. I’m doing what I can, but it won’t be any use if he doesn’t show up to the meeting.”

Padmé flinches with barely concealed anger. “They want him to appear before the Council so they can expel him to his face?”

“He isn’t being expelled,” says Obi-Wan quickly. “I have been researching the precedents for this type of situation, and if he is able to keep a cool head and demonstrate that he understands why the relationship was improper, I don’t believe we will have a problem.”

He assumes too much, Padmé thinks. He assumes that Anakin will go along with whatever terms the Council offers.

Padmé sets Leia back down, mindful of her wires and monitors. She wants to hold the babies constantly, but they can’t regulate their body temperature outside the incubators for long periods of time yet.

Obi-Wan approaches the other incubator and stoops a little bit to peer inside. “Hello, little one,” he whispers. Luke gives him a wide-eyed look.

A shadow crosses Obi-Wan’s face as the baby starts to fuss. “Padmé,” he says, suddenly abandoning his stiff formality. “Where is Anakin?”

“I’ve told you,” says Padmé, not unkindly. “He left in a hurry, he didn’t say where to.”

“Did he seem alright? He hasn’t been acting…unstable at all?”

“Attached?” Padmé suggests derisively.

“This isn’t about the Code anymore,” says Obi-Wan, betraying a note of frustration. “There is darkness here,” he finally says. “Your children are as strong in the Force as he is, Padmé, their light is blinding. But it is also tainted – it has been touched by the Dark Side.”

The Dark Side. Padmé would never claim to know a lot about it, but she is more aware than most civilians. She knows about Maul and the Battle of Theed, and she has since gleaned more information from Bail’s clipped comments about Zigoola. She knows about the Sith. But how could that possibly have anything to do with her family?

Luke and Leia exist on an entirely different plane from those kinds of existential worries. They cry and spit up and curl their tiny toes. Padmé had been able to feed Leia from her breast for the first time a few days prior, while Luke was taking the transition harder and still needed to be fed in tiny increments through a nasogastric tube. Those were the kind of challenges that made up the babies’ day-to-day lives, not anything as arcane and serious as Jedi Theology.

Padmé bites her lip. “Anakin’s not been sleeping. I think he believes something terrible is going to happen to them.”

Obi-Wan considers that. They both know that Anakin’s dreams of his mother were true, while his dreams of Padmé never came to be. But to a scared and volatile Anakin, alone somewhere in this city, the logic of it wouldn’t matter. If there was any threat to his family, Anakin would make himself a bigger threat to whatever was causing it.

“I must find him,” says Obi-Wan, more resolutely than before.

“Obi-Wan,” Padmé demands. “You’re wrong if you think he’s…he’s…”

“No,” Obi-Wan snaps. “On that we are in complete agreement. He will not turn. Never that.”

...........

Anakin stares directly into his cup of fancy honeyed wine and lets everything flow off of his chest.

He talks about Leia’s new talent for kicking the pulse-ox monitor off of her foot and then crying when it is strapped back in place. He talks about how Luke still isn’t gaining weight, and about the persistent vomiting that keeps him reliant on a feeding tube and barely able to keep down enough nutrients. How even now, Anakin’s own thoughts are consumed every second with the knowledge that any little thing could make the babies sick. How he hasn’t been able to get rid of the sensation of being on the edge of a knife, not for a single night in two weeks.

The Chancellor says little during his outpouring of pent-up stress. He just listens, as he always does. But when Anakin breaks down in tears, he murmurs, “Oh, Anakin.”

“This isn’t how it was supposed to be,” he snarls. “We should be…I don’t know, snuggled up in bed together, all four of us, and I’d make Padmé breakfast and we’d just be a family, all together. I can’t take any more of this pacing around the medcenter, paranoid that everything’s going to go to hell. It’s not fair.”

Palpatine’s hand on his shoulder squeezes just a little too tightly for comfort. “It most certainly is not, dear boy. I am so sorry that you are going through this.”

Palpatine waits until Anakin has wiped the tears away before he makes his next move.

“And I hope you don’t mind my saying so, I know you are protective of the Jedi Order, but I find their stance on the matter simply inhumane.”

Anakin’s head snaps up, thinking of the dozens of unwatched messages from Obi-Wan on his commlink. “What? Have they said anything? About me?”

Palpatine nods sadly. “They have not released anything to the press yet, but I have it on good authority that the Council has decided that your association with Padmé makes you a liability to the war effort,” he lies. “They have voted to strip you of your rank and your command, and your standing within the Order is in question. It was unanimous, I heard.”

Anakin nearly chokes. Unanimous—that meant—

“And I’m afraid,” Palpatine continues, “That they are concerned for the children as well. They feel that such bright beacons of the Force could easily fall prey to darker powers, and the sooner they are safe in the Jedi’s crèche, the better.”

No. Anakin’s daydreams of the little nursery on Naboo, of a quiet life, safe from politics and Codes, starts to vanish. Luke and Leia, in the Order’s custody? “No, no, they can’t do that, they have no right!”

“Of course not,” says Palpatine, now placating instead of provoking. “The final decision will rest with you and Padmé, I’m sure. The ‘baby-snatching’ scandals of some 15 years ago were all shown to have been fabricated, if memory serves.”

Anakin swallows hard. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Of course, of course, I wouldn’t have wanted you to find out through rumors. I’m sure you must be angry.”

But anger was one thing that Anakin was having a hard time separating from the waves of terror pulsing through his veins.

“Truthfully, I expected you might already know. I thought perhaps Obi-Wan might have had the courtesy to warn you.”

It was unanimous, I heard. Obi-Wan had been in support of this. Had betrayed him like this, without even hearing his side. He thinks of Ahsoka.

“But let us not speak of the Order anymore. You are suffering as no parent should ever be made to suffer, Anakin and they would be cruel to try to distract you with the politics of it at a time like this.”

Luke. Leia. So tiny and fragile, and facing threats from all sides.

Anakin opens his mouth wordlessly, shaking his head. No tears come, he has already cried them all, and his second glass of wine is half empty and making him feel heavy. “I can’t protect them,” he says thinly, a million possible scenarios playing out in his mind, none of them good. “I can’t protect them.”

“Not as a Jedi,” the Chancellor says, in a voice as sleek as a lothcat.

.....................

On to Chapter 5

[gemma-speht]

Curing Hearts

“Morning”! Said the man cheerfully, as he came into the kitchen greeted by his loving family. The girl looked up from her bowl of cereal, straight into her daddy’s eyes. “Good Morning.” She said. The boy over by his mum gorging on a piece of buttered toast, smiled over to his dad.

“Morning darling,” said his wife as he kissed her on the cheek. Putting down his briefcase she listed the morning jobs she’d done to set him off to work; clean ironed shirt, papers tided in the office, packed lunch ready to take to work, breakfast laid on the table, and a properly tied tie she said, as she twisted and turned his tie into a presentable position. “Thank you honey”! The man exclaimed. “Do any of you know how long until we go to Florida on holiday”? He asked cheekily. “Three weeks and two days” they all chirruped eagerly! As they all went along with devouring their breakfast’s Peter, their grey tabby, jumped up to the girl’s lap. He purred loudly…

“Aww, Mum, Peter hasn’t been fed”. He rubbed up to the women’s leg and nudged his cold nose to her shin to

Kiss her in his feline way, as she lay down his bowl. Just then Buster bounded in and gave everyone in the

Kitchen a hearty “Woof”!

“Morning Buster”! Said the family laughing. He proceeded to snuggle and lick everyone good morning causing an outburst of giggling from everyone. Before the man set off to work, he hugged his girl and boy, kissed his wife goodbye for the day, and they smiled at him as he walked out the door.

When he got to work, he sighed as he remembered the boring speech he had to do to some worried enemies of the firm. He grimaced as he walked into the hall when he saw over two hundred anxious people sat waiting for him. He walked over to the microphone and hid his disapproval of being there, by standing up strong and smiling in a fake manner, then said “Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your interest in the company, I hope you had a pleasant journey. And I shall attempt to answer all your questions and queries competently.” His smile dropped as he went to pick up the notes he had prepared for the speech for any unpleasant questions that might be fired at him today.

The conference after the 20 minute speech lasted and over an hour! The man was exhausted. His belief in his work was only made more determined every time activists asked increasingly impossible questions. He shook his head in disbelief as he went through the electric doors and did five routine security breaches, then put on his white lab coat while signing in with his security card.

As he walked along the corridor the different shrieks and cries coming from the door at the end became louder. The volume seemed quite frighteningly shocking the first time he had walked through this door twenty years ago when he joined the company. Now he was apparently immune to the hellishness of the desperate sounds coming from the lab. Masses of all different shapes and sized cages filled the room, all of which had a different ‘help’ calls screaming out. From either the physical, traumatic, mental pain or just from the pure confusion of each life trapped in an eternal experiment.

Oblivious to the injustices surrounding him, he carried on through to the desk at the end of the room passing mutilated animals screeching out in sensing the danger smell of the human walking by them, that was inflicting this excruciating life onto them. Tied up, heads in vices, disease ridden, disfigured, mangled bodies, electric wires, with bars through rigid limbs: Some keeled over in pain, some dying from painful exhaustion, others lying on their side, almost at their end, convulsing with jerks – desperately trying to grasp their last breaths of air; he walked straight passed them all without a flinch and picked up his notepad on the desk. He called for Tess to bring through his most recent experiment.

 I was due to go to a girl called Mandy that week. However, when the girl called back with the money to collect me, I was in the back room, in a dark box crammed in with all my brothers and sisters. Mandy had found the hutch full of hay, but no me. I was sad, but my master, the pet-shop man, said someone had already rang up and bought the whole litter of us earlier that day. So I knew I would be going to a home soon anyway. Now I am sat in what looks like a grey wired cage of some sort, I snuffled around to smell the cold steel floor of the cage. It didn’t smell very much like hay or rabbit’s food. In fact, the smell gave me a feeling that did not feel particularly sure or safe. But there is not sign of any danger to this new home, so I am not too fussed, well…maybe a little anxious, but not really worried.

The man never looked up from his notepad; he opened the cage door and pulled the rabbit onto the operating

Table, by its neck, he took his first ever look at her.

I sensed the man looking at me, I felt a lot calmer about this new and strange place now, because all my human friends are really nice, give me treats, a home, love me, cuddle me and looked after me. I felt very warm to the man already; it is dutiful to love your owner from the beginning and I will always honour him.

 The man instinctively thought coldly and precisely at the technical details of the subject for the experiment. Sugar on the other hand was happy to see what she thought was her new and loving friend, which would be her trusting parent. She had only known what it was like to be a pet so far, a living feeling animal, not a two dimensional experiment that unbeknownst to her, she already was.

  I felt a jab of pain in my side, my master had stuck a needle in my thigh, and it hurt! But then I forgot about the pain, it went away in a few seconds. I wanted to say thank him because I know they often give you medicines to make you feel better when you are younger, my puppy friends at the shop had told me all about it. I did not get a chance to thank my owner.

Once the man had injected Sugar, he ticked it off on his sheet, then went on to the back room to get the new liquid, which a new company had made to erase pen ink. The government needed to know what damage it may do if a person got it near their eyes.  

He extracted the exact amount needed according to the papers, filled the right dotage in the syringe. Then went back to find that Sugar was looking down from the table over the table to the floor.

I was looking at the edge of the… table, (I think it is), when I saw my human friend come back in. I looked up at him, had a sniff to make sure it was him again. It was, I was pleased. I was getting hungry and I knew my owner would feed me soon. He had something in his hand that must be my treat, I hopped along nearer to him, but he grabbed me by the scruff of my neck instead.

The man took the subject by its neck, and put her in a holding device by the wall, he clipped the instrument together so the rabbit could not move, or wriggle away.

 I felt a sharp nip on every side of me, with a lot of clanging noises, it hurt! What was the man doing?

He must be helping me get better; I must have something wrong with me. I calmed down, I realised it was all

right, I could trust my friend. I sat patiently waiting for the pain to go away. But I started to get a little panicky when it didn’t. Come on master, I pleaded, make it go away…

 The man took a blood sample from the creature now. Sugar made a little squeak sound; the man didn’t pay any attention.

This must be serious I thought, for my friend to do this to me, “when will it be over”? I asked. He didn’t communicate anything back.

The man then wrote something on his notepad and told the assistant he was about to do phase one, on subject

307. The girl nodded and carried on filling in a sheet on the desk behind him.

He came at my head with a plastic thing, I could smell it, and it smelt nasty. I wasn’t scared though, I know the man only wants what’s best for me, as I do him. But then, the horror!! I screamed out painfully, my eyes had something evil squirted into them!

 I panicked like crazy, squirmed desperately trying to free myself from this thing holding me, to scratch my

eyes clean. I felt the liquid sink deeper in my eyes!

 It hurt so much!! Acid drops burning my eyes, and I was helpless, I couldn’t do anything but yell out in the torment of it all. Total blindness filled my eyes, shock waves of pain flowed all over me! Then I remembered in the middle of all this distress - the man!! He would help me!

 “Help, help”!! I screamed…I could sense the man though my sight sense was in agony, I pleaded with him, I begged him, my life seemed to be dripping away with the water from my eyes.

 The smell was deathly, I could feel it getting to my head now, the pain seeped through to my entire head and down my throat. Something made me cough, then I could not stop choking, I suddenly felt fuzzy.

I yelled out my last plea for life, my master did nothing. “Won’t you help me? Don’t you love me”? I gasped with my last breath.

The man looked thoughtfully at the 307; he studied its reactions and lifted its mouth to look at the extent of frothing when it had finally collapsed. It was still having short gasps of air; he jotted down in his pad. Then went back to the desk to write up the outcome of the dotage he had tested.

“I’ll need another 15 milligrams of alphamacha.” he said to the girl. She said “Yes, OK”.

“Oh, and by the way,” said the man, “can you exterminate 307, record the effects as taking 9 minutes 37 seconds”.

“Yes sir”. Said the girl.

The telephone rang…It set all the animals into screeching again. The girl picked up the phone.

“Yes, yes… OK, hold on I’ll get him. Mr Snide, it’s your wife on the phone”. She said wearily.

He answered, “Yes darling, everything OK? Really? Oh god, right, I’ll be right there, tell Sally not to worry. Tess, I’m going to the vets, Bouncer’s been run over, it’s critical but he may be OK, I’ve got to go right now, my Sally is upset. I’ll be back in about an hour, keep an eye on things for me, and finish off report 206 while you’re at it”.

“Yes sir”. Said the girl in a bored manner.

She glanced over at Sugar; she had just taken her last agonising breath. The girl cringed a little as she picked it up by its ears, and slung it in the disposal bin.

Its innocent eyes glared up at her.

by Gemma Speht (1998)

[madame-lafayette]

Puppy Days (Alexander Hamilton x Reader)

Guess who’s back-

LEO STOP TRYING TO WRITE WITH YOUR CHIN! Sorry, I’ve got a dog on my lap. 

Shoutout to Leo and Collin, my two wonderful dogs, for the inspiration for this! I may write another imagine based on this idea soon-let me know if you want that and who to do it with!

LEO STOP IT sngvisdhufioesf

Sorry.

As always, there is an explicit language warning.

-

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Why in the name of Satan do you want a dog? They’re little devils!” Alex retorted. “If we get one, it’s going to ruin all of my documents and pee wherever in the apartment! That isn’t hygienic!”

“First off, a dog is not an it. They have feelings and genders as well! Second off, if we get a puppy then you may finally organize your papers and not throw them everywhere so dramatically! That’s not hygienic for the papers either, you know.” You sighed.  

“I can’t help that Jefferson is a prick, okay? He always leaves me so mentally drained!” he growled a little in memory of the multiple debates the two of them almost always seem to take personally. 

“A dog will help you get more exercise and keep you company. I’ll take care of potty training them and such, so you don’t have to worry about that. We’ve got enough room in the budget to provide for them financially-”

“You’ve already thought this out completely, haven’t you?” Alex asked.

“I may have already found a few breeds that we would be compatible with, figured how much money it would be every year to properly take care of them, and researched everything we may need to know. Did you know that most puppies get emotionally attached to their owners at the age of eight weeks, which is why that’s the recommended age to bring home one?” You spoke confidently, knowing your roommate-well, recently it was a little more than just a roommate-would only agree to it if you provided enough information on the subject.

“Fine, fine! So long as I don’t have to lift a finger to take care of the dog, I’m fine with you bringing home one. Only one!” Alex gave in. “I swear though Y/N, I better not have a dog peeing on my stuff.

-~-

"Y/N! Phillip shitted on the coffee table!” Alexander shouted, obviously angry at both you and the young Boston Terrier. 

“How the hell did you get up there, Philly?” You arrived at the scene of the poop armed with doggy bags and Bissel spray, your new  best friends. Alex reluctantly scooped up the squirmy pup, glaring at him with anger that he usually only saves for his co-workers such as Jefferson, Madison, and Burr. 

“This is starting to get out of hand. I didn’t know that a dog could produce this much waste? I’m positive that Phillip doesn’t eat this much!” He questioned.

“You would only know if you actually took a break every now and then. How about going on a walk with Phillip? He’d enjoy it,” You suggested as you finished cleaning up the coffee table.

“Well, I don’t want to!” Alex huffed. You sighed.

“Why can’t you take a break for Philly Whilly?” You cooed as the puppy started to fall asleep in Alex’s arms.

“Because Phillip hates me. Please Y/N, I’ve got to finish a report for my boss,” He pleaded.

“When is it due? Be honest, or I’m not feeding you tonight.” Alexander stood like a deer in headlights, unknown to what he has to reply with. “I’ve caught you, haven’t I?" 

"First off, fuck you-”

“Maybe later,” You replied, cutting him off. 

“What am I going to do with you… Fine, I’ll take Phillip to a park for an hour!” Alexander gave in, sighing in frustration.

“Thank you!” You flung your arms around him. “I’ll make whatever you want for dinner, you name it and its on your plate.”

“How about pork cutlet bowls? From the recipe you used a few weeks ago?” Alexander suggested. “Isn’t it from that one anime you’re obsessed with?”

“You’ve given me a reason to shout vkusno tonight,” You said.

“Didn’t you say that last night?” He smirked, as you blushed and flipped him off. 

“Remember to bring the puppy emergency bag when you go to the park! I’ll be off to the grocery store down the street, and I’ll know if you back out of your promise!” Alexander watched as you grabbed your backpack and phone before leaving the apartment. 

~-~

The second you left however, Phillip decided to start squirming and wiggling, forcing him to let the filthy mutt (as Alexander affectionately calls Phillip).

“I swear, Phillip, you better cooperate with me or else I’m sending you to hell the hard way,” Alexander threatened, but only received a confused head tilt and a butt to his face. He wanted to dramatically flop on the couch and neglect the dog, but he knew that Y/N’s pork cutlet bowls were worth the hour wasted.

Alexander snatched the puppy bag that his roommate-or should he consider them as his significant other?-always has Philip’s stuff in and scrummaged through it to find his leash and a spare collar.

You know, just in case.

“Phillip, get your ass over here so we can get going!” Alexander commanded. The dog payed no mind to him and continued to wander around the apartment, sniffing all the little nooks and crannies. Frustrated, he walked over to Phillip and clipped the leash on to the collar, then began tugging the dog to get him to walk.

“How does Y/N do this? It doesn’t seem like he wants to go anywhere-” Just as he uttered the words from his mouth, Phillip immediately started to yip around and tangle Alexander by running in circles. He cursed, because of course his luck would end up landing him in a scenario like this. Even though it took nearly 10 minutes (and probably more treats than the pup could consume), the duo could leave the apartment to immediately be blown by the wonderful (not) winds of the uptown location of New York City.

~-~

“Alex, I need a ride home from the vet,” Y/N pleaded through the phone. You could tell that he was at his wits end because he would have to leave work early. 

“Why?” Was all Alexander asked. “I’ll be there in about 15 minutes, but I need a good reason.”

“It randomly started snowing, if you haven’t noticed, and since Phillip just got his balls cut off I want to make sure he can get home comfortably instead of walking all the way…” He winced, imagining the amount of pain that dog was probably having then. 

“Say no more, I’ve got to tell Washington but like I said, 15 minutes or I’m making dinner for both of you.”

~-~

“I swear, Y/N, we need 100 more of these fluff balls.”

-

*blasting history maker+free in headphones and killing eardrums*

I'm sorry this isn’t edited, but I don’t fucking care so *flips off haters*

Idk, I kinda want to interact with my readers! 

Hm… write a sentence from your favorite show/anime opening in the comments/reblogs and I’ll see if I can guess it+start song chains.

Also! I want to do question of the posts and such, because that will make me a cool writer, right? lol

What is your favorite song?

[hideandseaking]

Last time on Nikky’s WoD game show campaign??? All of which can be read here

In which I have the most self-antagonizing group on the planet

Started with Michael telling the tale about how he didn’t get a Nintendo Switch at Best Buy and everyone wondering why he didn’t preorder one hmmmm

We also roasted Brandon for buying an xbone instead of saving for the switch smh.....

No Jutopa this time bc it was too late for his timezone ://// RIP :///////////

“Okay, everyone needs to roll a resolve check because that poison ivy is ITCHY” [cue group whining]

Lady MacBeth fucking failed her roll and itched herself so hard that she knocked herself unconscious while surrounded by 4 assassins.........

In an act of heroism, SUCC decides to crawl back over to LM to save her sorry ass

Meanwhile Pap is wandering around blind in the woods and Hana Doku is trying to find him

“Where is Duke?” “[me shrugging]” “WHERE IS DUKE??????”

SUCC goes to battle the assassins and receives aggravated damage where he is going to die in 8 minutes if he doesn’t stabilize himself

“Should I use Buff Baby?” [group laughing] “Um... well, I can’t make that decision for you” “Okay but.... hmm.... is it worth it?” [group still laughing over the spell name] “Hmm.... but.... idk....” “Let me put it to you this way: You are going to bleed out and die in 8 minutes with that aggravated damage” “.......” “SUCC MEGA EVOLVE DO IT” “...... I guess I’m going to use Buff Baby” “SUCC’S GOING TO MEGA EVOLVE!!”

Suddenly a group of human-sized rats appear with crossbows and annihilate the assassins

They all are hicks and are just looking for dinner and put their eyes on SUCC

They pick him up and all start whacking him with their tails as he tries to punch them to get free

A swift slap to the ass actually kills SUCC

“Nikky.... Nicole.... Nikkole..... PLEASE let me go down better than this.” “..........” “...........” “...........................So SUCC dies with a slap to the ass-” [brandon hangs up]

After getting brandon back into the call, SUCC gets transported back to the stage all healed from Round 3 and starts to eat the buffet table

Meanwhile, Hana Doku finds Pap

But she can’t talk and Pap can’t see so so

She knocks on his leg and Pap asks who’s there

Then she tries to climb up his robes and he thinks it’s some foreign animal and tries to reflexively fling her off but SHE HOLDS ON

“Uhg! How do I tell Pap that it’s me!” “...Man if only there was a way you can communicate” [dan sits there thinking for 2 minutes] “....Can I use my Croak spell?” “YOU CAN JUST CROAK CAUSE YOU’RE A FROG!”

Pap recognizes that it’s Hana Doku and she starts to lead him back to the scene of the crime

When they get there they see the rats digging where SUCC disappeared from and LM wakes up

“Okay, I’m going to try to run away” “Okay do a dexterity roll” “....Um I got a 1″ “Okay you get up but not quickly enough to run” “FUCK”

The rats spot this and everyone has to roll initiative

Hana Doku leads Pap into the battle but tries to get him into the cabin, not in the fight

They hear LM scream cause she got hit with damage (again)

“What was that!?” “Um... Nothing... She’s dying.... You can’t help her” “You need to roll for that!!”

Pap starts asking questions to Hana Doku and the rats turn around and spot the frog duo

Hana Doku fucking dips and escapes into the cabin

Pap, in a sheer act of brilliance, uses Prestidigitation to create a tiger’s roar and scares 4 out of 5 of the rats which causes them to run away

Hana Doku snipes the 5th one in the forehead and almost kills her before she runs away too

After the battle ends, Pap walks over to help stabilize LM and Hana Doku begins to explore the cabin

Hana Doku makes her way to the second floor and really only sees a table with lots of maps and schematics, and a staircase to the third floor

She checks out the papers and realizes that they were plans to kidnap the king, but she can’t tell what the other blueprints are for

Suddenly she hears feet running down the stairs and she hides under the table while she sees 5 pairs of feet run out of the cabin

Then she smells smoke

She immediately runs upstairs and sees the whole room is on fire, and the kidnapped king is in the corner of the room. His earthy form is drying out and cracking and he cannot move

“I use Moisturize Me no Jutsu to wet his face” “You do that, and he asks weakly for help”

She tries to get him to move but he says he’s stuck and she notices that he is surrounded by these items that were on the blueprints

“OH MY GOD ARE THOSE BOMBS” “Um-” “I’M GOING TO QUICKLY GATHER THEM AND GET THEM OUT OF HERE”

She starts to quickly throw them out the window, one at a time because she’s only 6inches tall.....

“And after you get rid of them, the earth elemental King suddenly rises into his full form of 12 feet tall. He leans down and says, ‘Thank you,’ and scoops you up in his arms while he immediately dives out of the window”

They land safely right as Pap smells the smoke and the King is safe

As he offers them a reward, they’re transported back to the gameshow

They’re all healed by the co-host, Joyce, and Sebastian immediately congratulates them for succeeding on their third round

“Okay, so he offers you guys to either receive a magical item, or you can revive SUCC for future rounds. So.... go ahead and discuss that.”

They spend 5 minutes arguing over whether to revive SUCC or get an item; all while SUCC is on the spotlight on the stage saying, “TAKE THE TREASURE. LET ME DIE.”

Much to Hana Doku’s regret, they revive SUCC

“So for Round 4, you’ll be going to a town where you need to solve one of their problems! No limitation this time, because the town itself doesn’t allow magic. Also, we have another magic item for you! It’s a cape!” [silence] “....Who wants the cape?” [more silence]

LM takes the cape and as they clip it on, they say that it’s a cape that gives amnesia to the user and suddenly LM can’t remember anything

They get transported to the new place, and land about half a mile away from the town they’re supposed to be at

LM tries to walk away because she doesn’t know who anyone is there, and Hana Doku stops her

And immediately begins a whole string of lies about LM’s past

Basically, throughout the next in-game 2 hours, Hana tells LM that she’s a princess named Juliet, who was turned into a dragon by her lover, Romeo’s, mother who hated her and now she’s in a gameshow to turn back to normal and that Pap is evil and might be one of the mother’s henchmen

This all happens right after everyone agreed to start to work together

Cue Pap being endlessly frustrated, LM being excessively excited about everything, and SUCC being extremely apathetic

“So who is the leader here?” “Oh. Um. IT’S SUCC.” “Oh. SUCC, youre the leader?” “I’m just as surprised as you are.....”

Pap gets upset and threatens Hana Doku to stop part 1

“You know, Dan, Pap has never EVER in his life considered killing a creature before.” [dan laughing] “And you know, Dan, this might be what breaks him.” “YES.”

They go into the town which is filled with 2ft tall Hawks so the buildings are more akin for Hana Doku and SUCC than anyone else

They start asking the hawks if they need help and a hawk farmer asks them for help plowing his farm fields. They agree to it while Hana Doku keeps telling LM lies especially about Pap

“So SUCC has a tongue that can make him transform into things!” What really!? Is that so, SUCC?” [SUCC turns towards them and pushes his tongue out like he’s pushing out play-doh]

“Dan, why are you doing this to me?” “Mike, the ratings!” “You’re antagonizing me! What did I do to you!?” “You locked me out into the snow during a blizzard!!!”

After plowing the fields, the farmer offers them food and Hana Doku and SUCC make their way into his house while LM was laying in the sun and Pap flipped through his personal journal to remind himself of his moral values

“Dan, you know that Lady MacBeth is going to remember all of this when that cape comes off.” “Yea, but Ally won’t hurt me. Right, Ally?” “Dude, I’m going to kill you.” [cue Dan whining]

The farmer cooks up some bugs for Hana Doku and SUCC, and Hana Doku brings them out for Pap

“Hey, buddy.” “Pap just stares at him.” “Um.... So I brought you some bugs for doing a good job today.” “He takes the bugs and starts eating them while staring at Hana Doku.” “The two of you just stand there looking at each other awkwardly for like.... 15 seconds.” “OKAY well I’m going back inside. Bye.”

Hana Doku walks back inside to the farmer feeding SUCC bags of trash

They get back to the town with the farmer, who goes to tell his friends about how they want to help people

Some of the hawks are looking at Pap suspiciously as Hana keeps telling LM lies right next to him

Some ask Pap if he does magic but he asks them where they even got that idea from to deter them

The farmer comes back with a friend of his named Gran and Gran asks if SUCC will eat more trash

“So, will you do it?” “No.” [everyone groaning] “Oh. Okay then.” [gran walks back to the bar with the farmer]

Hana Doku follows them into the bar and sits down to talk to them about the magic ban in the town. The whole bar looks at her and Gran and the farmer deny knowing anything about it

They explain there is a new “mayor” in the town called Raaw, who plans to turn city hall into a dojo but before Hana can ask many questions, all the hawks outside start cawing “MAGIC” and the rest in the bar leave except for the bartender

“Nikky, how many feathers are left in here?” “umm.... [rolls a d20]... 2 feathers.” “SWEET I GOT HAWK FEATHERS NOW.”

When Hana Doku goes outside, she sees LM flying off into the distance

Pap walks over and grabs her out of the bar and goes off on her about telling her lies and mentioning that she knew how to cast magic because someone asked if she could and she did so the whole town turned on her and started to peck her

Hana Doku tries to defend herself but Pap isn’t having it and shoves her into a wooden barrel and puts it into his satchel

“How does the inside of the barrel feel?” “Um... it’s moist.” “I roll around in it. (:”

Pap takes the lead and him and SUCC meet Julia, a hawk who takes them to her place so she can talk to them in private

She tells them that Raaw put the magic ban on the town and that any magic users found out will be killed or exiled from the town; and her brother was one of the victims

Pap says that he’ll try his best to help and asks her if she saw the direction that LM left to and Julia tells them what she knows

While they’re talking, Hana Doku manages to break one of the boards of the barrel and starts trying to use an arrow to stab Pap’s hands that are holding the barrel in the satchel

Pap, SUCC, and Hana Doku in the bag then start to make their way through the woods to find Lady MacBeth

And that’s where we ended for the day!! Join us next time for another round of excitement and probably death??? Who knows :’)

[gainapp]

What is the Current State of The Hashtag?

After almost ten years of hashtags, new studies have led social media influencers to believe that hashtags might not be as useful as they once thought. These studies have compared post performance, with and without hashtags, on popular social media platforms, revealing interesting results. For example, when Caitlyn Jenner was first trending on social media you might be surprised to know that “Caitlyn Jenner” as a keyword set on Twitter trended higher than the hashtag version, #CaitlynJenner,  (700,000+ tweets vs. 200,000+).

So from decreased performance in reach and engagement, to faulty analytics thanks to spam accounts which overuse and abuse hashtags, social media influencers understandably have begun to question - is the hashtag worthless?

Below is a compilation of reports on the performance of hashtags across Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Facebook

Hashtags had a moment of popularity but the diverse profile privacy settings of Facebook users soon made hashtags worthless on the platform.  

Facebook, unlike Twitter, isn’t configured as a widely public platform where hashtags are easily searchable. Instead, Facebook users build their Facebook community through known contacts and these contacts all have varying privacy settings for the content they share.  This makes any attempt at trying to reach a broader audience with hashtags futile.

The study below showcases the difference in results between a search using a hashtag and a search without one.

Search results of “#running” on Facebook:

Search results of “running” on Facebook:

As you can see, the results vary quite significantly with the “running” search providing more thorough results. Since Facebook users don’t routinely make searches with hashtags their performance is actively diminished. A 2016 report from BuzzSumo, analyzed Facebook posts from over 30 million brand pages and found this conclusion about hashtags on Facebook to be correct.

Instagram

Instagram is a great platform for social media’s prolific hashtaggers. The well-known rule of thumb has long been 15 hashtags per a post to increase engagement and reach. But that was before Instagram eliminated their chronological timeline feature, early on in 2016. The elimination of this feature meant that instead of viewing the most recent posts in a user’s feed, the most popular posts are displayed instead. This had Instagram influencers wondering if the value of the hashtag would be drastically changed as a result. The answer is yes and no. 

The study below explains in-depth how hashtags currently perform on Instagram:

👎Post Impressions: Avg impression per tagged post: 1,630 Avg Impression per tagless post: 1,677 Result: 2.88% increase without hashtags

👎 Post Reach: Avg reach for posts with hashtags: 1,250 Avg reach for posts without hashtags: 1,274 Result: 1.92% increase without hashtags

💪 Post Engagement: Avg for posts without tags: 86 likes and one comment Avg for posts with tags: 120 likes and two comments Result: 28% more engagement for posts with hashtags

So, if Instagram influencers are looking for greater post reach and impressions, utilizing hashtags are not useful. But for influencers focusing on increasing engagement with their target audiences, hashtags are still an excellent tool!

Twitter

Twitter is widely perceived, and accurately so, as the home base for hashtags. The widely public platform’s compatibility with hashtags has been beneficial for users to search, find, and comment on communities and topics of interest.

One of the biggest benefits to the Twitter platform is utilizing hashtags to discuss topics in real time with others, creating online communities. While hashtags offer these clear benefits, they can also be a hindrance to influencers thanks to an overabundance of zero spam accounts. Zero spam accounts - accounts that follow no one but share an average of 1k posts/month using generic hashtags - use general hashtags to infiltrate a variety of Twitter audiences on a daily basis.

Zero spam accounts are following not a single person but tweeting and liking upwards of 5k times in a span of less than a half a year. That’s more than three times the amount of tweets from even the most prolific tweeter.

So can influencers utilize hashtags to their advantage and avoid the spam? You can if you’re strategic about it.

Only Hashtag Topics That Require Context

Studies have shown hashtagging popular topics is only beneficial when the context needs to be clarified.

Using Keyhole.co, we input the name of Caitlyn Jenner, who was trending earlier this year, as both a hashtag and a keyword to get our own results. Mind you; Caitlyn Jenner would be considered a topic of discussion that doesn’t require a contextual background.

Trending Results for “Caitlyn Jenner”in January 2017:

Trending Results for “#CaitlynJenner” in January 2017:

Comparatively, AJ+ did a study of their hashtag usage versus keywords in their tweets and found that their second most popular tweet during the time of their study was a tweet that contained the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter. They attributed the hashtag’s positive performance to the context it provided. In AJ+’s tweet, there was a video clip features coverage of a moment of police brutality in Baltimore, USA. Adding the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter was like calling those being arrested in the video “civil rights activists.” In this case, the hashtag gave people context, and this made the hashtag useful for audiences who were searching for similar topics, discussions, and viewpoints.

This screenshot below showcases  how Twitter acknowledges trending topics either with hashtags or keywords.

Topics that require a contextual background, i.e., #ThursdayThought or #WAVE3Snow, performed better with hashtags, while topics that didn’t require context performed better without a hashtag,, i.e., Gulf of Mexico, or American Apparel.

Avoid Easily-Spammed Hashtags:

Zero spam accounts are very active in the Twittersphere. Luckily, it’s easy to spot the Twitter parasite accounts, one of which is highlighted in orange in the image below.

Another good thing to note about zero spam account strategies is that they predominantly abuse general hashtags, i.e., #Marketing, #Sales, #SEO. As a result, when influencers use these hashtags they may receive likes and engagement from zero spam accounts, which will affect their analytic results and confuse their social media strategy tactics. To avoid engagement with spam accounts, influencers should take more time in coming up with hashtags that are easily searchable and yet more tailored to the content provided in the tweet, i.e., #twitterfail v.s #socialmediafail, or #marketingtrends v.s #marketing.

Don’t Include Hashtags in Ads

A tweet that doesn’t include a # or @ mention will generate 23 percent more clicks. When the tweet is focused on driving an app install, forgoing a # or @ mention increases clicks by 11 percent. - Recode

Tweets attempting to lead audiences to a 3rd party site, i.e., a blog, an app install link, a website, will find that hashtags look spammy and distract audiences from reading the post. So, for ad campaigns, we can completely do away with hashtags.

In general, Twitter influencers should utilize hashtags to keep their finger on the pulse of what topics are trending within their target audiences. Hashtags can help improve engagement, build buzz on popular topics, raising a brand’s social authority. As long as the hashtags are strategically used, that is.

So, What Have We Learned?

Hashtags are great at building engagement on Instagram and Twitter, but they’re not helpful as advertising tools on any platform.

In 2017, let’s not throw hashtags away altogether, but rather let’s become more strategic in how we include them in our content strategies.

[itsworn]

Horsepower! Ryan Jones’ 2,500HP, Single-Turbo LS Nova

If you’ve been following Outlaw racing for a while, you may have heard of Ryan “Toaster” Jones, the West Coast hitter who has been racing tire-limited classes for the last five years. Back when everyone was marveling at running low-5s on a 235-series drag radial, Toaster clicked off an insane 4.65 at 161 mph, a record that stood for years. “We were pushing everything as hard as we could with a 94mm turbo on gasoline,” Jones says. “I knew that in order to stay competitive, we needed to step things up.”

Stepping up in this case meant a switch to methanol, new technology, and a huge 106mm Precision Pro Mod turbocharger. The car made a lot more power, but there was an issue. “We had to weigh nearly 3,500 pounds when we ran the 275 classes, which is just ridiculous for a small-block,” Jones says. With the popularity of no-prep and grudge-style racing, the decision was made to drop the class racing and focus on Outlaw activities. Team Boddie’s Outlaw eighth-mile race series was gaining ground, so Jones made the decision to run his Nova there, where he could drop to 3,000 pounds and face the blower and nitrous cars head on.

With Championship wins in 2017 and 2018, you could say Toaster has had quite a bit of success. At more than 40 psi of boost, the small-block LS is definitely churning out some power, and with Jones’ consistent driving, the team had all the ingredients for a championship. Toaster said none of this would be possible without his crew: Jaime Vorhees, Pete Consolo, Art Williams, and Brian Peterson. Jones also won the first-ever NHRA small-tire race in a four-wide battle in Las Vegas. With some new and very tough competition for 2019, Toaster indicated that he’ll be “swinging for the fences” this racing season, so if you’re on the West Coast, come check out the little Nova that could!

Yes, that is Ryan “Toaster” Jones’ small-tire Nova putting the gap on the Street Outlaws Sonoma. He told us the Nova has been 1.07 seconds to the 60-foot mark, but past that he’s not talking.

The Car

Ryan “Toaster” Jones has had shoebox Novas ever since he was in high school, but it’s culminated in his current ’65, which features a 25.3 chassis that’s certified to 6.50, along with an AJE chromoly front clip and Koni double-adjustable shocks. A two-speed TH400 and Pro Torque converter from Mike’s Transmissions in Lancaster, CA, sends power back to a ladder-bar rear suspension and a Strange 9-inch rearend with JRI four-way shocks. Jones would like to give a big hand to Josh Deeds for helping tune the car, Jamie at Fab-Tech Custom Fabrication & Welding for the work on the car, DJ Safety for helping keep him safe, and Wilwood for picking out brakes that stop the car from warp speed.

Not Your Average LS

You’ve probably heard of 5.3 and 6.0 LS engines, but how about a 7.3L? Yep, that’s right. Toaster’s engine is big, thanks to starting with a Dart LS-Next block. The aftermarket block was filled with a Winberg (the Top Fuel guys) billet crank, GRP aluminum rods, and 11:1-compression Ross Racing pistons and Total Seal rings. Oiling is handled by a Daily Engineering dry-sump oiling system and 9-quart reservoir. A custom 55mm Comp Cams solid-roller camshaft bumps the valvetrain with more than 0.800 inch of lift and an undisclosed amount of duration. The 9,000-rpm short-block stays together due to some careful machine work by Mike Consolo at QMP Racing Engines.

Mammoth Head Flow

One of the main reasons Jones switched to the LS platform was that the cylinder heads flow nearly 100 cfm more than even a traditional 18-degree small-block Chevy head. Jones started with Mozez canted-valve cylinder heads from Mast Motorsports, which were factory CNC-ported to flow 453 cfm on the intake side and 273 cfm on the exhaust side at 0.800-inch lift. Turbo heat is hard on valves, so Jones selected 2.25-inch titanium intake valves and 1.60-inch Inconel exhaust valves to handle the heat. Jesel keyway lifters connect to the cam and Manton pushrods, but the rocker-arm system is a little tricky. Jones found that for the engine to survive, he had to run shaft-mount Jesel rockers with aluminum on the intake and steel on the exhaust side to handle the insane turbo drive pressures.

Fuel Tech to the Rescue

We know Toaster had a good amount of success with the BigStuff3 platform, so we asked him about the switch to the FT600. “At one point, I had five different computers and data-logging systems on the car that I all had to jam through, download, and review between rounds,” he says. “It wasn’t fun!” Now the Fuel Tech does it all, including controlling the mammoth Billet Atomizer 850 injectors and Spark 8 coil-on-plug ignition. A huge 15-gpm Waterman Racing fuel pump feeds -16 and -12 lines to the fuel rails, and a 105mm Accufab throttle-body gulps in air from a 106mm Precision Turbo Pro Mod turbocharger, which is controlled with twin 46mm Precision Turbo wastegates and a Procharger race blow-off valve. On VP Racing M1 fuel, that’s good enough for around 2,500 hp at the flywheel, or an insane 1,930 rwhp on a chassis dyno at 30 psi of boost (all the dyno would hold). Whew!

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