#Thankfully this isn’t a super difficult thing for me

[silverflqmes]

agszc with self care/slice of life comfort?

i've been feeling really down with myself for a bit now & i could use that extra push of feeling a bit better :,) perhaps some ideas could include like: maybe distracting the reader from a failed exam by going shopping together, grocery shopping and cooking a meal together at home, perhaps that one rp with noya where he was kissing insecurities away (hi yes its sky), maybe a pep talk to help with motivation, hmm what else ALSO U DONT HAVE TO DO THESE EXACT THINGS IM JUST GIVING IDEAS... i just want the boys there for me soBS (esp zack and cloud since yk favs.)

໒⦂ 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐓 𝐇𝐂𝐒.

notes. hey queen i did headcanons for this because it seemed better suited, i hope the post helps you feel better at least, you can do it<3

genre. comfort + crack

for @melukonova <3

ft. sephiroth, cloud strife, zack fair, genesis rhapsodos, angeal hewley

gender neutral! reader.

➫ 𝓢𝗘𝗣𝗛𝗜𝗥𝗢𝗧𝗛 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ for whatever reason that your day and mood has been sullied, sephiroth is already on it and is doing everything in his power to try and make you feel better.

⌗ he’s not the best with handling emotions, as he has difficulty with understanding his own, but wants to help — it hurts him to see you ache like this and to know he couldn’t prevent your suffering🙁

⌗ offers to masamune whoever brought your pain, even if it’s an inanimate object incapable of fighting back.. it’s sweet of him ( and it becomes difficult to suppress your smile )

⌗ just kidding ( not really. ), he comes to the conclusion that a self care day is likely the best approach to make you feel better — genesis had brought the idea up once before

⌗ sephiroth wasn’t exactly one for worrying for his well being, he didn’t have much time to sit down and do so anyway.. but he figured he might try that out with you

⌗ and so, after getting off work, he made a point to grab some supplies from the store, which included these super cute kitty headbands to push your hair back!!

⌗ self care portion of the day ensues and ends with takeout and some cuddling on the couch to some silly sitcoms. laughter cures the blues right? so that’s just what he’s going for to see you smile again<3

➫ 𝓒𝗟𝗢𝗨𝗗 𝓢𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗙𝗘 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ having a bad day? cloud’s been there and is ready to lend an ear to listen. he isn’t the most optimistic person and doesn’t have the best way with words, but he is willing to help!

⌗ he’s a bit awkward with the advice ( he might interest you in a sarcastic comment- kidding, maybe.. ) and words of consolation, but he’s doing his best and is determined to get his words across to you.

⌗ he offers to take you on a delivery with him, a drive can help sometimes with getting out of the house and just getting fresh air — or well.. as fresh as the air can be in midgar / edge..

⌗ part of him thought you would be reluctant and would argue on why and how you should continue to rot in your bed — but you were oddly willing ( maybe because you always have to ask to join.. )

⌗ either way, made his job a hundred times easier and he was glad to see you cooperating with him because he thought he would have needed to drag you by the ankles..

⌗ the drive goes nicely, you can feel yourself begin to calm down as you hold onto him and watch the scenery pass you by; it’s such a simple thing but it’s quelling your nerves and intrusive thoughts, thankfully

⌗ once the package is delivered, cloud spares a little of his time before your scheduled drive back home and takes you out for lunch along with a little stroll around the town🫶

➫ 𝓩𝗔𝗖𝗞 𝓕𝗔𝗜𝗥 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ zack is the definition and embodiment of an emotional support animal. whatever, or even whoever, decided to ruin the flow of your day, he’s there to provide comfort!

⌗ has a pretty good grasp on emotions, even if there are some things he might not fully get, but he wants to help in any way he can! seeing you sad is the worst thing ever, how dare, whatever hurt you, steal away that smile of yours??

⌗ his best course of action is to take you out and doodle up a list of activities for you to do to uplift your mood. distraction is temporary, of course, but it works its course and he was going to make it succeed!

⌗ said list includes visiting the arcade, a walk through the mall, buying you flowers, feeding and petting any strays with your leftovers from where you guys ate and maybe even karaoke while the night is still young..

⌗ should the karaoke go as planned, it would be a mission to get zack out of there LMAO he wants to do cheesy romantic duets with you and boyband songs..

⌗ despite your whines and protests, they do not fail to make you grin and wash away whatever ickiness you had felt earlier.

⌗ it’s a full day that ends up getting you tired by the final activity, but it was all part of the plan!!! distraction and getting a good nights sleep! perfect, right?

➫ 𝓖𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗦 𝓡𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗦𝗢𝗗𝗢𝗦 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ how dare someone or something sour your mood and evening! genesis is completely distraught and is prepared to do whatever means necessary to exact his revenge..

⌗ fires will be set ( not really but it sounds like a really good idea at the moment ESPECIALLY BECAUSE TUMBLR DIDNT SAVE MY SHIT AND I HAVE TO REWRITE THIS — im sorry.. um moving on.. )

⌗ in the end, fires were not set.. he opts for taking you out to dinner and bringing you to loveless avenue because it just works, and he wants to spoil you with gifts<3

⌗ dinner was lovely and like a fairytale — i mean being with genesis in general was like a fairytale, but he somehow always seemed to exceed your expectations..

⌗ you’re feeling slightly better as you exit the vicinity, taking an idle walk down sector eight since he insisted on a stroll — not because he wanted to check the loveless merch, definitely not. of course not.

⌗ he ends up buying you something your gaze lingered on a little longer than you had planned for, which you protested on at first.. but then you gave in, because it was genesis — aaand he also bought it regardless of what you said..

⌗ he walks with you hand in hand on your way home and proposes his idea of setting fires if you were still upset. you of course, say no.. i mean, psh a fire??? yeah, right..

➫ 𝓐𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝓗𝗘𝗪𝗟𝗘𝗬 ୨୧ ˎˊ˗

⌗ bad mood? rough day in general? angeal is prepared to do whatever is necessary to help you through your mood — anything to return your happiness to you rather than this funk you’re in.

⌗ his best course of action was to take you to the market to buy the necessary ingredients to prepare your favorite meal! they say food cures any blues, perhaps that applies here as well?

⌗ unwilling as you were to leave the comfort of your bedroom, he managed to get you out with the promise of pushing you in the cart..

⌗ yes you wanted to be pushed in the shopping cart, who wouldn’t want to be pushed in a shopping cart after a shit day?

⌗ the small joyride seems to lift your mood a little and he even bought you some of your favorite snacks to have after the meal he’s preparing<3 what a guy🥰

⌗ arriving home, he immediately gets to work on dinner, and after a few back hugs from you along with a brief sway while he waited on the food to finish, it was finally time to set the table!

⌗ nothing too fancy but you appreciated it nonetheless, as you could taste the love and care in each bite you took. truly angeal was the gift of the goddess!!!

notes. okay uh this is not the best quality because stupid tumblr did not save ( GET AN AUTOSAVE FEATURE PLS I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE ) — but i hope you liked it and that you feel better mami<3

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[thegirlwhorideslikeasamurai]

On Love Eros is a textbook depiction of how a figure skating routine evolves over a season

If you watch figure skating, you might have noticed that skaters grow into their programmes as the season progresses and that sometimes elements (usually jumps) are rearranged or replaced because the skater struggles with them or to increase the base score of the programme. In Yuri On Ice!!!, there is a lot of this, most prominently in Yuuri’s and Yuri’s programmes. In the following, I will break this down for Yuuri’s short programme On Love: Eros as this provides the most comprehensive data on the subject.

Presentation

Figure skating is, to somewhat extent, acting. A programme can require a skater to slip into a role (I’ve heard of skaters who take acting classes for this), but even for a programme that portrays a skater’s feelings basic expression and projection skills are useful. Yuuri skates at his best when he skates true to his feelings and because of this, he gets high programme component scores (PCS), which help him make up for messed-up jumps. But when Viktor assigns On Love: Eros to him, Yuuri has no idea how to skate it. For how shall he express something he hasn’t experienced before?

Yuuri has never thought about love much less had a relationship. He says of himself that he didn’t pay attention to the things happening around him because he focused on skating since laying his eyes on Viktor for the first time. However, Viktor’s demonstration of On Love: Eros has given him an idea of a possible story:

A playboy comes to town and bewitches the women left and right. He decides to pursue the most beautiful woman in town, but she isn’t swayed. As they play the game of love, she finds it difficult to make the right choices and ends up falling for him. Then, he casts her aside as if he’s tired of her and goes off to the next town.

Which pretty much describes the situation in episodes 2&3 as Yuuri perceives it, including a possible scenario that Viktor discards him for coaching Yurio. (It also represents Viktor’s misperception of poor drunk Yuuri at the banquet, but that’s beside the point.)

Yuuri very keenly feels that he’s not at all like the playboy in his story as he considers himself physically unattractive and lacks confidence. Thankfully, Viktor’s old costume inspires him to swap roles and play the woman in his story as her part is closer to “how he feels”. To win, he must change the story and make Viktor stay. It’s unclear whether “how he feels” also refers to his unique notion of sexiness as a queer man, but as queer people are less likely to adhere to cishet stereotypes, it can very well be an additional factor. As a result of his revelation, he asks Minako to teach him to move more femininely. In the show, this is expressed in Yuuri using female pronouns during the first two times he skates Eros (the female Japanese “I” is “atashi”) and his voice being softer compared to when he’s off-ice. To cover up for his inexperience, he thinks of his favourite dish, which he’s only allowed to eat when he wins. Ironically, katsudon is a wrapper for everything Yuuri wants besides eating this food: he wants to win and he wants to eat katsudon with Viktor, representing his wish for Viktor to stay his coach (and maybe other things concerning Viktor he may not yet be able to express).

Yuuri's approach to expressing Eros reminds me of how actors approach the portrayal of an experience they never made themselves or that is hard to conjure. As a writer, I do this a lot too when putting myself in a character’s shoes. Switching the viewpoint character is also super helpful when a scene just doesn’t work the way I want it to (which is kinda what Yuuri does, too).

In episode 5, the story Yuuri wove around his programme has changed. His portrayal of Eros has evolved, but it’s not yet perfected. He still impersonates a woman and a tasty katsudon (“I’m a katsudon fatale that enthrals men” using “atashi”), but now it’s the woman who discards the man and goes off pursuing the next man.

Yuuri predominantly focuses on trying to include Viktor’s advice when he was flirting with Yuuri in the rink coaching him (“dance more like you’re trying to seduce me”). Only close to the end, he remembers the story of his programme: “On the conclusion for the love-crazed couple… how did it go?” which is kinda distanced compared to his thoughts about Viktor flirting with him and might imply that he doesn’t fully identify with the role.

As a sexually experienced person Yuuri’s coach, it’s evident to Viktor that Yuuri is still wrestling with his portrayal of Eros (which must be strange as he remembers how Yuuri was at the banquet lol). However, between episodes 5 and 6, something important happens: Yuuri and Viktor finally get together and thus the nature of their interactions changes (I discussed Japanese dating culture and how this is portrayed in YOI here). Because of this, Viktor instructs Yuuri to seduce him as himself the next time when he skates Eros in competition, which is at the Cup of China. And Yuuri’s reaction says it all.

Yuuri promptly starts using the same pronoun he uses when he refers to himself in his dialogue lines throughout the anime (“boku” is the Japanese standard male pronoun for “I). The programme is no longer a story with a protagonist Yuuri has to impersonate and identify with to some degree, but about him actively seducing Viktor with his own charms. It’s unclear whether he keeps the “female” skating style despite the pronoun change as this exceeds the limits of the animation (skating scenes are super difficult to animate so the pronouns might serve as a proxy for what the creators couldn’t translate into images). However, as Yuri!!! is super queer, I headcanon this style to become less exaggerated as it evolves into a natural expression that is 100% Yuuri as he fully blooms into his unique notion of Eros as part of his queer journey and his deepening relationship with Viktor.

However, it’s beyond doubt that the evolution of Yuuri’s portrayal of Eros is also closely tied to his relationship. Taking Viktor’s pep talk, Yuuri’s inner monologue while skating (“I am the only one who can satisfy Viktor”), and their exchange in the kiss and cry into account, skating seductively isn’t the only thing Yuuri thought of doing to Viktor *cough*, and they both know. As a result, he delivers a stellar performance with a new personal best.

I don’t think I need to elaborate on the off-ice activities the two likely have engaged in between the Cup of China and the Rostelecom Cup. As a result of his deepening relationship with Viktor and the subsequent experiences made, Yuuri scores even higher when he skates Eros in Russia. Being far away in a place where people might resent him for stealing Viktor from the sport, fuels his possessiveness which is one aspect of his Eros and ends in him getting an even higher score. His short programme has reached a stage at which he can hardly improve it any further with its current layout.

Before I’ll talk about the last time we see Yuuri skating Eros, let’s dive into the technical side.

Technical aspects

Eros is a super difficult programme for a skater with lots of stamina. All the jumps are in the second half and every entry into a jump is more difficult than the previous one, starting with a spread-eagle into the 3A and ending with a lunge entry into the 4T+3T combination. The step sequence which covers the better part of the first half looks quite demanding, too, as it has to match the pace of the music. All this makes the programme pretty ruthless, matching the theme. The initial layout includes a 3S as the second jump, which Yuuri decides turns into a quad in an attempt to beat Yuri at the Onsen on Ice because he is that desperate to win. Of course, this doesn’t go as planned, but Yuuri had to take the risk. As a side effect, it makes the entire routine even more daring. (fun fact: many irl skaters struggle with the 4S too)

As said above, Yuuri skates at his best when he skates true to his feelings. This is especially true for jumps as he is prone to flub them when something is on his mind or the programme isn’t working for him for whatever reason. To successfully land a quad jump, everything going into the execution like technique, timing, speed, power of takeoff, the moment of opening the body before landing etc. must be finely tuned. So, it’s no surprise that Yuuri nails only the 4S when he fully settled into the programme in episode 6.

For the Grand Prix Final, Yuuri changes his jump layout of Eros one last time to maximise its base score. Again, it’s a risk he’s willing to take to win. He’s been taking risks all season by changing jumps, most prominently in his free programme when he included the 4F to surprise Viktor, and now he plans to jump the 4F in Eros as the final jump, while the 4S remains in the second jumping pass but is combined with the 3T whereas the 4T is omitted.

For reference: these are the base values of the jumps in question as they appear in Yuri!!!*:

3S: 4.4

4S: 10.5

4T: 10.3

4F: 12.3

The 4F is a jump so far only Viktor could land successfully in competition and so it became his signature move. It symbolises everything Viktor is to Yuuri and expresses his desire to become as good as Viktor or even surpass him, as well as his romantic feelings. Including it in Eros, adds a possessive layer to the many things the 4F represents like showing the world that Viktor is his now, but also Yuuri’s ambition and growth as a person including his newly-discovered confidence. Remember the flashback to the rink between the Rostelecom Cup and the Grand Prix Final when Yuuri had already proposed to Viktor? “You want to see me land a quad flip in the short programme, right?” “I do!” It sounds a lot like a second proposal—all this is ultimately part of Yuuri’s Eros, too.

In the end, Yuuri doesn’t nail the 4F and ends up in fifth place after the short programme as his mind was more occupied with winning than with seducing Viktor. I like to believe that Yuuri succeeds at the next competition and that he continues refining his SP throughout the rest of the figure skating season as his relationship with Viktor deepens and evolves further. But as the anime ends mid-season, this speculation is mostly based on watching irl figure skating and my headcanon.

Closing remarks on queer presentation

What sometimes is referred to as “female” expression in dance sports is a soft and sensual movement style as opposed to the cishet male stereotype (strong, shows little emotion etc). It basically describes a gay stereotype. However, how a queer person presents can apply to a variety of queer labels. Being queer myself, I don’t feel comfortable deriving labels from isolated information for an individual be they real or fictional. I don't want to promote stereotypes, and because of this, you won't find me jumping to conclusions about their unique queerness.

Japanese pronouns

For further reading about Japanese pronouns especially when used by queer people, I recommend this comprehensive article. Having read this, Yuuri’s switch to “atashi” during the first two times he skates Eros, makes even more sense to me.

*these base values were the same in the seasons I checked starting from the 2014/15 season to the 2016/17 season, which encompasses the time Yuri!!! was produced.

If you enjoy my meta posts, please consider giving my blog a follow or checking out my works on AO3(link in bio). You will find the results of my meta musings in there!

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Hi, ho, if you would rate Inteleon it would please me quite so! :)

Inteleons are an interesting case. As the final stage in an evolution line commonly used as first partner pokémon in the Galar Region, they are known to get along well with humans and are receptive to training. However, they are also incredibly deadly. This is a super spy in the form of a pokémon, after all. While inteleons may make good companions for some owners, their size and capabilities drag them down from a resounding approval.

Like I said, their size might be a bit of issue. They’re pretty lightweight, skinny, and skilled at maneuvering around, which means that space isn’t necessarily going to be an issue. But, I must admit it would be rather strange to have a humanoid pet that’s taller than me (not taller than everybody, but taller than me, the writer). It may creep some people out. They may be a bit difficult to handle when it comes to transportation. It’s a whole thing. But not necessarily a deal-breaker.

We don’t have very much data about the behavior of inteleons at all. Much of what I can say on the topic is speculation based on their biology. Inteleons are, from what I can tell, skilled hunters. Not only can they slink around with ease, they can also glide around with a special membrane on their backs (Sword). Inteleons can expel water from their fingertips with immense speed and accuracy: a nictitating membrane in their eyes allows them to “pick out foes’ weak points…[and] precisely blast them with water that shoots from its fingertips at Mach 3” (Shield). Mach 3. That is wicked fast. From the research I’ve done, that’s faster than some speeding bullets. I’m not an expert or anything but… that’s gonna be lethal in a lot of cases, right? From this, I can intuit that this probably evolved as a means of taking down prey from a distance, making inteleon a predator.

This lethal capability is reflected in inteleons’ signature move, Snipe Shot. Thankfully, there isn’t much else to be concerned about when it comes to their moves, except perhaps the heavy-hitters like Liquidation and Hydro Pump. It’s that Mach 3 sniper shot that really drags down inteleon’s score. Sure, they’re friendly to humans and receptive to training. So are dogs! But if a dog had a gun permanently built into their paws… even the best trained dog would make people a little nervous.

Inteleons are really a mixed bag. Friendly, but evolved to kill. Lightweight, but the height and shape of a human person. I’d say it’s really up to the reader to decide on this one. As far as the score goes, however, inteleon gets a solid C rank.

[pixelatedraindrops]

Ok, so, this ask is based on the peacekeepers. How would they do with them being sick? I exclude Makoto from this because we know he overworks himself at times and all.

In addition if it were to be with Swank added to this, you can also take in Kuro (my oc) into the scenario if you like.

Sorry I can’t do OCs… But the Peacekeepers hmm let me see if I can make some stuff up (they’re not my favorite so this may be difficult) And yeah I’ve said plenty on Makoto already I get it xD (he’s my antagonist to target :3c)

Okay here’s what I have come up with~

Yomi Hellsmile:

The Absolute WORST patient.

He will complain CONSTANTLY.

With every sneeze or cough, his entire frame hurts and he curses every single time his head starts pounding

And whats with all these DAMN CHILLS?!

His sickbed is full of tissues and spilled cough syrup. And his blanket is a mess too (don’t ask)

If you take care of him, good luck. Most of the gestures will be refused or thrown back at your face.

Until his fever rises to the point he becomes needy and clingy. But even THEN he’ll still back in forth refusing the caretaking or accepting it. (MAKE UP YOUR MIND)

He hates liquid medicine and will only take pills.

Also he’s a little goldilocks with food and tea. If it’s too hot or cold, he will let you know aggressively. (His tongue is very sensitive)

And he may also deny it entirely and try to keep being a little devil making things hell for everyone, so you gotta drag him to the bed (even if he bites you)

Martina Electro

Being ill is but a minor inconvenience to her.

But how she wishes her beloved Director Yomi would come to care for her…

She’s the type that brushes the illness off continuing to work at times if it isn’t too bad.

She cannot disappoint Yomi after all…

Only to get much worse later.

Thankfully, she does know her limits.

She is fairly good at taking care of herself. (As well as of the other peacekeepers if they falter) She’s usually the one caring for them.

Usually wearing a comfortable robe sitting down with some warm tea and medicine so she can still do, some work. But she makes sure paces herself.

If she sneezes or coughs she tries to be as quiet as possible doing so.

She cannot bear to falter…or Director Yomi would be upset with her. (someone help this poor woman ;-;)

Seth Burroughs

A pure sopping wet cat.

If he’s ill, it’s the most pitiful thing you’ve ever seen.

He’s very prone to asthma attacks and at times the rain isn’t good for his health either.

His unhealthy demeanor really doesn’t help. If he catches even a small cold, it will grow to something FAR worse later

He loses his already barely audible voice and has to communicate with a whiteboard.

He also can have food sensitivity, so if you feed him the wrong thing…it will come back up.

Super frail so make sure to handle him like the delicate flower that he is.

He uses his megaphone to try communicating or calling people to help him or if he needs anything. But sadly, it usually breaks out in a coughing fit.

He’s the most prone to illness out of all of the peacekeepers.

Looking at flowers brings him peace so having a vase at his bedside does make him feel a little better.

Guillaume Hall

She is SUPER needy and whiny about it

And she works Dominic like a DOG to try to meet her every need. (Dominic cannot get sick)

She’s a bratty little princess who wants everything to be done right.

She still has her fortune telling gear at her bed and she still practices it despite her poor state.

Or she opens up her laptop and watches something “fun” to cheer herself up. (Horror movies or killing documentaries)

She always wants to eat something sweet. Sometimes sneaking candy under her bed.

She sleeps with multiple plushies.

Her voice gets super deep if she loses it due to illness.

Sometimes if she has a fever or feels chils, she gets a bit delirious and wants Dominic to come give her snuggles.

Until she falls asleep in his large weapon like arms with a smile on her face.

Swank Castonell

He’s similar to Yomi in being SUPER grumpy about being sick.

Only difference is, he is VERY demanding of whoever tends to him.

Ordering them around and forcing them to use “their” money to get anything rather than his own.

His appetite somehow gets higher when ill, and he craves a LOT more meat and booze than usual

But booze isn’t a good thing to drink when ill, so it has to be kept away from him

But then he yells about it. Until he eventually passes out.

His cigar also has to be confiscated. His cough is bad enough already.

He needs to be watched at all times to make sure his usual habits don’t make things worse for him.

Eventually he’ll conk out. But he needs to be in front of a large screen tv playing the most boring documentary you’ve ever seen.

I hope this is something !!

[miss-midnightt]

me when the physical disability is physically disabling:

But seriously. I’m not sure why this week my hands have suddenly decided “hmm, let’s make your already difficult life harder,” but they did. Perhaps it’s partially my fault; I did go a bit overboard with some floral wire, but still. Not cool, body, not cool.

In case you all didn’t know, I have a rare skin disorder, which, among other things, primarily causes blistering as well as skin soreness (especially of the hands and feet). And it is completely fucking me over right now.

I can’t hold a pencil or write. I can’t do my own hair. I had to brush my teeth with my left hand because I can’t curl my right into a fist without hurting. I had trouble getting dressed without hurting. I had to open the ibruprofen bottle with my teeth because my hands couldn’t (ironic, isn’t it. Opening the bottle of pills to help with the pain would cause more. Haha. Hahahaha.)

This is the worst my hands hands have been in a long time. I’d forgot how much it could hurt to open a doorknob. Thankfully, my oh so kind body decided to do it for me. Yay. Anyway, I have blisters on all five fingers on my right hand and it’s week three of me unable to boulder.

When my feet are bad, it just restricts my motion. That I’m used to. When my hands are bad, suddenly I can’t do some of the things I need to do. I have to make decisions (example: I brushed my hair and braided it despite it hurting last night so it wouldn’t be super tangled and painful to brush tomorrow).

Life as a person with my skin disorder can be hard sometimes.

[ridiasfangirlings]

is sarumi toxic?? genuine question, i dont know if its just the way certain fanmanga that ive read portrays their relationship. i love the ship with my whole heart, dont get me wrong. ive read lost small world, finished rok and season 1 (halfway through season 2). consuming all kinds of k stuff, i personally dont see it toxic as certain people do (knowing that theyve already reconciled). im super confused on who to believe so here i am asking you

I will say to start that I’m not exactly a neutral third party here, even with me being a filthy multishipper Sarumi is still my ‘main’ ship. That said, I personally don’t consider them to be toxic as a ship. There are definitely elements of their relationship as presented that are not good and could certainly lead to toxicity, but that’s also pretty understandable considering Fushimi as a character is not a healthy person and isn’t equipped to deal with relationships in a healthy way. If we look at, say, only season one Sarumi is a vacuum there’s certainly room to call it toxic, with the way Fushimi interacts with Yata by drawing out all his negative feelings and deliberately goading him into physical violence, but thankfully there’s a lot more to their relationship than episode five of season one.

When you consider the side materials the series is pretty clear that Fushimi’s actions stem from him being an abused and neglected child who clung to the one person who ever showed him affection and who has no idea how to handle things that other people would consider easy. When they join Homra and Fushimi doesn’t feel like he fits in he starts to assume a lot of things, that Yata’s leaving him behind, that he’s going to be rejected, because up until he met Yata Fushimi’s entire life has been him being rejected by the world around him and rejecting the world in turn because it’s his only method of coping. When he burns his Homra tattoo in front of Yata it’s a move intended to hurt them both, because the only way Fushimi knows of to break something that he loves is to do it spectacularly — Fushimi himself can’t break what he cares about so he takes on the persona of the person who could, of the guy who can flawlessly destroy what Fushimi Saruhiko loves every time. Fushimi is so afraid of losing his precious friendship with Yata that he feels like he has to be the one to break it first in order to save himself the pain of losing it. This is a toxic mindset but also a totally understandable one in the context of Fushimi’s character. 

Obviously Fushimi’s way of dealing with his emotions is not healthy but he’s not a healthy person, that’s well established. Are a lot of Fushimi’s problems of his own making? Very much so. Does he really owe Yata an apology for being a dick all this time? Also yes. But Fushimi’s actions are also very understandable due to his upbringing, and Yata himself says that Fushimi is trying to be better — “You have a sense of guilt.” Fushimi’s relationship with Niki is a toxic one because Niki is abusing him and literally doesn’t care about the trauma he’s inflicting on his kid. Fushimi on the other hand is well aware of what he’s inflicting and tries very hard not to care, while still not being able to let go of Yata and still occasionally letting his mask slip (how he has difficulty dealing with a grieving Yata post-S1 for example, and how he still helps Yata in Missing Kings) and ultimately, Fushimi knows what he did was wrong and he and Yata start to reconcile. They aren’t a perfect pure and unproblematic uwu ship but I don’t consider them to be toxic just because Fushimi dared to be mentally ill, the Sarumi I ship isn’t the one where they hate each other and where Fushimi’s still constantly cruel to Yata, it’s the one where they make up and recognize their mistakes and Fushimi starts on a healing path that includes recognizing what he did to Yata and in his own fumbling way trying not to do it again even though it’s difficult for him. (And also frankly if someone does like the toxic version of them go for it, you do you. I really hate how people tend to throw around the word ‘toxic’ as some kind of forbidden brand, like if a ship is not perfect and healthy and wondrous it shouldn’t be shipped. Ship your fictional characters any way you want, as long as you tag things properly! Be free of the need to be judged!)

[outofthiisworld]

8, 4, 3!

8. Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.

👽// I’ve been doin real good stayin in my lil corner so thankfully not much bugs me rn, buuut:

double space formatting :’’) hurts my brain and bums me out when i see a cool blog but cant read anything oooooough (people can do what they want go nuts but im wailing in agony /lh)

the treatment of oc’s still reeks tbh. this is a big one for me— even if someone’s rules says they're friendly to oc’s, but then go off about a checklist on what a oc writer and muse should do and have then no thank u tbh. u—u (there's a big difference between preferences vs just being a bit hateful)

couldn’t think of a third thing weeeehehehee <3

4. How do you explain rp to someone in the real world?

OH BOY—!!! super depends on who I’m talking to. 

Thankfully, all my friends off-site are very chill + supportive + creatives themselves, so it's much easier for me to casually talk to them about rp’ing! I uh usually keep it at that tho cause i get a lil shy about it ngl fgsdfgds

Anyone else has gotten the classic “Oh, I just do some writing here and there for fun <3” — my folks recently had gotten the explanation of “oh I write with other people online and they share their writing with me :0” to which they thought that's cool so yippee!!

3. What current rp trend do you hate?

BUUH … genuinely there isn’t much that really grinds my gears (you know except double spacing dsfsdf).

A million years ago, blog themes used to be full of a ton of graphics that made navigating pages very difficult cause the links would blend in with the graphics, so whenever I still see that I double take (and quickly find the button to make it turn into mobile format)

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

The Fate Triplets Blurbs

1. White hair (Dominic) is the "eldest" and has the ability to change past events (within the last week) by writing it. The more minor it is the less magic it takes. and events are classified as minor or major based on how many people witnessed it. A test score is easy, because its really only the professor and the student who know the grade. You fell in the courtyard, tripping on air? That's not too bad- but it got posted to magicam, so that's going to take a fair bit more magic to get rid of. This one is the most responsible and fairly social, especially for someone from Ignihyde. He's academically inclined, PE being his weakest subject, and quite frankly, he doesnt care. He's not quite as ruthless as Azul when seeking payment when someone wishes for his services, but typically he'll work in "favours" based on how many people were involved in the event. So to change a test grade, you owe him two minor favours, which usually aren't very labour intensive, but really just favours, like if he texts to ask you to bring him a strawberry soda, and you reply and bring it to him he'll count it as a favour. He may add one and include himself as a witness though, so just be wary of that and make sure to write down what he's asked and when otherwise he'll keep going until you prove to him you've done more than enough.   --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------2. Green hair (Daniel) is the middle child, the most "with the times" and has the ability to cause events in the present by writing it down, which is more effective on objects than events, like summoning his water bottle to his hand, or changing the density of a basketball so the next time it hits the floor when he’s done writing the sentence, its density changes and goes right through it. He has to be careful about the wording of his sentences so that he doesn't leave them open ended, though that sometimes doesn't cross his mind so writing "My water bottle appeared out of thin air near me" it sure did! and thankfully it was empty when it landed on the persons hand next to him- "My water bottle is full of ice cold water, the lid screwed on just right, and appeared in my  left hand ready for me to drink." Would yield more accurate and desirable results. Because of how accurate it has to be, its typically more difficult for him to write these kind of things for other people. So when he's asked to try, he's hesitant but excited to try. He and Cater...are friends???? but like they aren't emotionally...invested in each other if that makes sense. Like one wouldn't care if the other never spoke to him again. But they enjoy whatever the fuck they have going on right now.....social media besties perhaps??? It's a shallow friendship that looks and acts deeper than it is. He's not super invested in academics either, finding a lot of it just too boring. He loves working with his hands, and I think he wants to be a beautician one day?

I know he's the reason he and his "younger" brother have dyed hair for sure. Even though magic could do it, he'd rather do it manually, and then beg his "older" brother to undo it if he done fucked up. He's definitely in art clubs, anything with painting or sculpting, except the gargoyle club. Its not he doesnt like Malleus. It's just he feels like he wouldnt be allowed to paint the gargoyles fun colours or patterns, so he'd rather do it on his own (he means grotesques but to him its the same difference) Straight C student, just enough to get by. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3. Purple hair (Devon) is the "youngest" and as homage to the three fates in Hercules, he does hide his eye/missing eye under his hair and behind his glasses, which also monitor his "stats" for him as he often forgets when to eat, drink water, take a break, etc. And ironically enough. Idia made them. The glasses also have a blacklight setting on them, to help with this guys germaphobia, he knows what is and isn't "safe" to touch, but also his room is impeccably clean, and the since getting the glasses, that setting has stopped him from spiraling, giving his brain just enough logic to counteract the impulses he has, though that's something not even his brothers know about, it's just him, Idia and Ortho who are aware, as this behaviour got particularly bad after being at school. He does his best to attend classes in person, typically allowing his sleeves to cover his hands wherever he goes. However, on days it's just too much, he makes sure to wake up early enough to write out that "Dire Crowley, current headmage of Night Raven College, will grant me permission to attend class virtually today, enter said date" He's very meticulous in his magic and never has the same sort of incidents his older brother does, however it is more difficult for him to alter the future or affect future events for another person- not that he's tried much because much like Jade Leech, he keeps his spell close to home and does not use it openly. If he were to do it for other students, he would never agree to anything that regards altering romantic or sexual emotions no matter how little time it may be that they want it, but honestly?? that's his only hard boundary. Because yes he'll help you hide a body. Also, he needs to be able to look into the future to know how it already is going to play out. It's substantially easier to do for himself rather than someone else, though perhaps because of their bloodbond, his brothers futures are fairly easy to read as well. However, some of the Ignihyde students know about his ability, but not the limits, so sometimes he'll agree just to look into the future for them and let them do as they please with the information. He's able to see with certainty, up to two days into the future. If you want him to look further, he cannot guarantee when anything happens. Could be in a week. Could be four months away. Could be sixty years. Who knows? Not him. He loves VR games, and plays with Idia, Ortho and Lilia quite a bit. He's very quiet around new people but if you manage to worm your way into his trust, he's the loudest rambunctious most chaotic little shit you'll ever meet.

[cluescorner]

I didn’t wind up liking this one as much (Spoilers for Jeht World Quest 2)

NGL, not a fan of how the ending of the 2nd Jeht World Quest was just...us going through the Tanit camp and killing everyone regardless of what happened. Like, it gives me the vibe of if we had all that time with those Fatuus on the GAA and then after we got to know them and like them as a breath of fresh air from every fatuus being an evil motherfucker with no personality beyond being an evil mother fucker we were asked to FUCKING KILL ALL OF THEM LIKE THEY ARE NO DIFFERENT FROM THE NPCs WE FIGHT ON THE DAILY. Babel was a corrupt asshole and deserved what was coming to her. But LITERALLY EVERYONE BESIDES OURSELVES AND JEHT?? LITERALLY EVERYBODY?? Why are these guys being punished more than the guys at the akademiya? The heads of the Akademiya did all their bullshit, much of which I would say is worse than anything the average Tanit camp member did, but the narrative decides they get to live. Why does Azar, chief motherfucker of all time, get to live, but none of the Tanit do? Why couldn’t we just tell everyone in the Tanit camp who wasn’t one of the top people involved with their bullshit to go repent, like we apparently let happen with the motherfuckers at the Akademiya? I don’t get it. And I do believe that we killed them, considering that nobody respawns there and the place is a fucking ghost town now. Any and all NPCs that were unnamed and stationary are gone. What did ‘spear-holder #2′ do that was so awful? 

Also, I super don’t like how basically the moral of this story was that the racist, pro-slavery glass bottle was actually right. Clearly these desert people can’t be trusted and Liloupaur was completely right to hate all of them from the off. It could have been a situation where like some of the Tanit camp were very much in the cult of Mother Babel and some of them were cool people who were like ‘listen man, we just want to survive and living in the desert is kinda difficult if you aren’t in a camp and this was the only one we had access to.’ Liloupaur’s bullshit would have been shown to be incorrect because the vast majority of eremites are just people trying to make it through, just because her hatred of someone was correct in one case or even a few cases doesn’t mean that her broad generalizations about the eremites were correct. But no. Instead we got ‘Hey actually every one of these people is evil and they need to be fucking purged from existence. They’re all conspiring with one another and the randos that we passed by daily are just as bad as Mother Babel herself. Let’s do exactly what Liloupaur did with Gurabad and kill everyone, leave not a soul alive save for ourselves and Jeht. Condemn the average person the same way we condemn the actual bad actors.’ And I don’t like that. I did not enjoy that storytelling decision. 

I also just...why does Jeht never have anything good happen to her? Like, why can’t she have a buddy that isn’t me? Why did they make it a point to be like ‘Jeht is perpetually suffering and has effectively been outcasted from all of the eremite camps in the desert, leaving her alone and othered by the only people who hadn’t already othered her.’ Like, that’s not fun. Why can’t Jeht have something fun for a change? Somebody in her life who doesn’t wind up leaving her or betraying her or getting killed? I get that that’s supposed to be us, but the game is not gonna let us do that! This isn’t even me saying this because I love Jeht and I want nice things for her, I just think a character who never has anything truly good happen to them is a recipe for disaster. Because that character risks becoming an object of pity rather than...an actual character. Thankfully Jeht hasn’t fallen into that trap yet, but I’ve seen it happen before and it never ends well. 

Overall, I do like this world quest. I think it does cool things for Jeht’s development and the worldbuilding of the desert itself. If Jeht wasn’t already my favorite Sumeru NPC (maybe even favorite Sumeru character in general), then this world quest solidified that. But to me this world quest reflects the Sumeru Archon Quest: Really good decision making throughout, then one or two things that I actively hate. For the Archon quest it was how they handled Dottore’s segments and how they handled Scaramouche going to our side (I refuse to call how his story was handled a ‘redemption’, at least right now); for this world quest it was the fact that I wasn’t allowed to defend the Tanit from Liloupaur’s bullshit and, eventually, that Liloupaur’s bullshit was actually shown to be the right way to handle the situation + the fact that Jeht literally gets nothing nice. 

TLDR; The ending of this world quest was not fun from a storytelling perspective (especially when you put it in the context of Liloupaur’s earlier statements about the Tanit/all eremites), I don’t like the fact that Jeht suffers so much with nothing good to offset the bad, and while I like the majority of this world quest there are a few things in it that keep me from saying I loved it. 

[caseyqdilla]

My MS Journey

Hello again! This isn’t a fic like I’ve been posting lately, but I wanted to post about the process that led to my diagnosis. I want to post this not only for myself, but for anyone else that may be going through this as well to hopefully shed light on the process from a perspective that people can relate to better. Being that I would look up what things were that I didn't understand or wanted to know the process beforehand I was usually met with the medical terminology; as smart as I am, when it comes to this kind of stuff I would just prefer it to be in laymen's terms.

So I hope this helps someone that is going through the same thing that I went through. I'm always happy to answer questions to the best of my ability, I will also add a few parts to this as well so it isn't too terribly long.

Sending you love and positivity, the journey is scary but you can do this! You're a badass!

Warnings: mentions of medical procedures, blood mentioned (in the capacity of it being drawn for testing), vision loss/low vision, and anxiety/fear are mentioned.

I hope this has helps someone that may be going through this experience as well. If you have any quesitons concerning MS, understanding your diagnosis, or the process of being diagnosed please reach out to a medical professional. My experiences are only meant to serve as peer support so you can understand the process from a perspective of someone that has already gone through these procedures.

While I haven’t been diagnosed with MS very long, I do have some things that I’ve learned are associated with it. Some are temporary, but there are a few that I’ve come to terms with the very real possibility that it’ll be permanent. The main one that’s been a hinderance that has not been one to go away is Optic Neuritis, for those that don’t know (because I was definitely one that didn’t) Optic Neuritis is swelling of the optic nerve. It sounds painful, but my experience it hasn’t been; it’s mainly been an inconvenience more than anything. There’s things that I used to be able to do that I no longer can or if I do, I have to be extra cautious whilst doing so. It started slow, I was doing haunted tours in Savannah, Ga where I would be able to walk around and tell the history of the beautiful city and make it fun. I noticed that it was more difficult to see out of my right eye when it was dark, it was almost like when there was no light I was basically blind in my right eye; which losing my vision is one of my biggest fears. Since I wore contacts all the time I just thought maybe I needed to take a break from that and wear my glasses, but when it didn’t subside I knew it was time to bring it up to my doctor, hopefully they’d just tell me to not wear my contacts for like a week or two then I’d be cured; wishful thinking on my behalf.

When I went to my primary physician and told them the symptoms the best I could, it’s really hard to describe when you don’t know exactly what’s happening or have any kind of inclination of what it may be. She recommended that I go see a neurologist, which made me super nervous; it made everything feel more serious as I booked an appointment with them. so began the waiting game unfortunately since they were so far booked out, but they had a cancellation so I got in earlier than anticipated. Which made me feel a little better knowing that I would hopefully get answers sooner rather than later. Little did I know, it was just the beginning of a long process a process that I thankfully didn't have to go through alone; knowing my family would be there for me no matter what the outcome would be.

Now there aren't many things that give me genuine fear, anxiety yeah of course; I'm an anxious bitch, but when I found out that Optic Neuritis is a symptom that is commonly associated with MS, I was terrified. All the thoughts I associated with a disease like MS bubbling to the surface and just stayed on my mind all the time as I waited for a test that the neurologist wanted to perform to try to rule out MS.

The very first thing the neurologist had me do was to get an MRI done, which for me meant that I had to prepare for it. What I mean by that is that I had to go and get retainers put in for most of my piercings cause I was afraid of them closing up if I simply took out the jewelry. It's not the worst test, unless you're claustrophobic, which if you are and you have a good team doing your MRI they will give you ways to prepare for it beforehand so that you won't be too uncomfortable. The worst thing for me was the cage they put your head in since they were needing to do a scan of my head.

So the results came back and normally if they're not bad then you get a call just saying, "Hey they're normal so followup in like a month or whatever." (Obviously they're not going to talk to you like that, but you get the picture.) However, I got a call to schedule an appointment to go over my results. He told me that they saw white spots on part of my brain, but I also have a piercing (it's a dermal on my right cheek below my eye) on that side that I was unable to remove so they had to do another test to make to further eliminate or confirm the diagnosis he was suspecting.

The second test that I had to do first was called a provoked potential test, without going into all the medical terminology (because lets face it, I'm not a doctor and will 100% get all that crap wrong). Basically it's a test where you get sensors attached to your head, there's something else they put on you but for the life of me I can't remember what it was, and you have to watch a center focal point on the screen and whenever you see something you push a button on the remote they give you. (Again I could be remembering this wrong and I apologize if I do, I promise you the test sounds daunting cause of the long ass name, but it is quite literally probably the most boring medical test you can take aside from the ADHD test you take at a psychologist's office.) I wanna say I was there for about 2 hours I know they had to redo parts of it a few times cause my hair kept getting in the way and throwing off the sensors.

The last test after that was a lumbar puncture, also quick side note, most of these tests come with a complimentary blood test with them, so there's that too. Also, you can't drive yourself to the test and you can't drive I think it was either 12 or 24 hours after the procedure until the puncture they have to make essentially closes up, they'll tell you all the side effects that are possible as well as precautions, but just so you know especially if you're someone like me that prefers to do things alone. (However, I am extremely happy that my mom went with me because she eased my anxiety so much, just knowing that she was in the other room. They won't let anyone in there with you since its a sterile environment.) So after I got my blood drawn for what seemed like the millionth time, I had to lay on a motorized table so they can adjust for the height, angle, and whatever else they may need to perform the test. Before I got on the table I had to take off my shirt along with my sports bra, and pull my pants down so they access to the base of my spine without me having to get completely nakey (cause it was cold af in that room). You're given one of those flimsy hospital pillows to get as comfortable as you can. Once you're comfortable and they adjusted the table, they'll clean the area with what I assume was iodine given the color that it was on his glove. After the area is clean, they'll go ahead and numb you, I don't think they used an IV or anything; I'm pretty sure it was just a syringe of anesthesia I tried not to pay attention and spoke to the nurse that was in there with me to assist during the procedure the entire time to keep my mind occupied. Much like any procedure when you're needing to be numbed or given any kind of local anesthetic to numb the area but stay awake they'll tell you if you feel any sharp pain to let them know so that they're able to administer more and keep you as comfortable as possible. Sometimes though when you're experiencing something new, your body won't know the difference between pain and pressure; so if you feel anything that makes you nervous or uncomfortable just let whoever is performing the procedure know and normally they will ask you to describe the sensation as best you can so they can better determine 1) where to put more numbing or 2) if you're feeling the sensation of pressure as you're experiencing something new. Once that's all figured out and you're all prepped, they'll insert a guiding tool to allow them access to your spinal column to extract the spinal fluid they'll be testing.

Once they get what they're needing, you'll be patched up, it's like a gauze and surgical tape they put over the opening that they had to create to get the fluid. After you're all patched up they'll give you the instructions letting you know that you essentially can't do a whole lot for the next 12-24 hours until the puncture closes up for fear of some of the fluid leaking out and causing unwanted side effects such as migraines (I can't remember the other ones honestly.)

Then just like the other tests, it's a waiting game once again. Waiting for the results to come back and see if you have the antibodies that are present in MS patients. If you are going through this, I hope and pray that your results are negative; if they're positive though just know that there are some resources out there for you, should you need them.

In conclusion, I fell like I'm writing an essay for a lit class with that start haha, my results came back and I do have those antibodies that are present in MS patients. So after that I was officially diagnosed with MS in November last year. Yeah it was scary, but I think not knowing and things getting worse would have been even scarier.

I would just like to reiterate that if you have any quesitons concerning MS or understanding your diagnosis, please reach out to a medical professional. My experiences are only meant to serve as peer support, so you can understand the process from a perspective that has already gone through these procedures.

[maddieonthemovee]

May 19 - Tokyo to Kyoto

Today was fully dedicated to traveling from Tokyo to Kyoto. We left for the Shinkansen at 9:00 AM and got to Tokyo Station. I had my backpack and small carryon suitcase with me, so getting on the trains was a little more difficult than usual. Thankfully, we didn’t get onto a super crowded train. At the station, we had some time to grab something to eat or drink before boarding the Shinkansen, so my friends and I got Starbucks. I got an iced white mocha and a small pound cake-like dessert. We waited a little for the Shinkansen to arrive, and I was surprised at how long it was. I was also surprised by the interior; it looked like an airplane! The ride to Kyoto took about three hours, and once we arrived, we had an hour and a half to get a late lunch before going to check in at our hotel. My friends and I originally wanted to get breakfast food, but the line seemed long, so we opted for Italian instead. I had a margarita pizza which was super thin, but yummy, and just filling enough. We took another train and then walked for ten minutes or so before reaching the hotel. We made a quick stop at our new class meeting spot which unfortunately isn’t in the hotel this time.

My roommate and I checked into our room and just relaxed for a couple of hours; we both napped a little, and I called my mom and dad to check in. My friends and I met up with our tour guide from the Tokyo leg of our trip and went to a pharmacy because a couple of my friends needed medicine. I bought some toiletries and a small eye glitter to try. Next, we went to eat at another Italian restaurant for a late dinner. I got a Quattro Formaggi pasta dish, which I’ve never had before, and a chocolate cake that had more of a brownie-like texture. The pasta was amazing and was a nice break from all of the ramen and rice I have been eating for the past couple of weeks. We went to Family Mart to get some water, and I also got tape for my travel journal that I need to catch up on. I’m looking forward to getting familiar with a new city and to all of the matcha I will be getting here in Kyoto!!

Academic Reflection:

I learned through the reading for today as well as today’s class discussion that the Shinkansen had negative impacts on certain towns. As the Shinkansen was constructed to funnel more people into cities like Tokyo and help them grow, it led people to move away from the smaller towns that the Shinkansen passes through and to the larger cities like Tokyo: considering “population change between 1975 and 1995, those cities with a Shinkansen station saw an average increase of about 32%” (Hood, 215). I think that it’s very interesting how this aspect of the bullet train is often overshadowed by the fame, innovation, and technological prowess of this invention. I also learned from one of my friends here that the Shinkansen uses more electricity to accelerate than an American uses in an entire year which was shocking.

I found the reading compelling in how it highlights the social impacts of the Shinkansen, both present and future. I learned how it can impact families, as more and more people are beginning to live independently in cities far from their relatives in smaller towns. Because of this, more elderly people can see a decline in their quality of life as they require more assistance with daily activities while having less social interaction with other people. Families who live far from relatives are also likely to face their own hardship with balancing parental responsibilities with their professional and social lives, without the ability to rely on their parents or relatives for help with things like watching their children, keeping the house clean, etc.

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Nancy & Teddy Pt.3

Teddy: Perhaps I’ll murder her, people snap when others are as cruel to them as you’ve been to me

Nancy: Why wouldn’t you murder me, I’m laying here with her

Teddy: Because I want you to live with it

Nancy: Yeah

Teddy: I’m serious about us being together, if you’re dead that’s hardly feasible

Nancy: then I’ll hold her down for you

Teddy: I can see it now

Nancy: Me too

Nancy: she keeps breathing too big though and it’s upsetting me

Teddy: You’ll have to think about something else

Teddy: I’m picturing you in a shock collar until your behaviour changes, for instance, it’s given me a real mood boost

Nancy: 🐶🥺

Nancy: Your punishment ideas are only making me want to behave much worse, btw

Teddy: I shouldn’t have shared them with you, giving you the silent treatment would be a fitting punishment, fatherhood is unfairly difficult

Nancy: You need some stimulating conversation after the long day you’ve had

Teddy: You’re right, I’ll go & talk to [some peeps at the club that they both know so she has an opinion about them] 

Nancy: Ha!

Nancy: we both know I’m your favourite person to talk to

Teddy: Thankfully, because ALL we’re going to do is talk

Nancy: well if you won’t come over, I can’t do anything to change that

Teddy: You could, I know you always have your own ideas

Nancy: I suppose you could find someone in the club that looks like me

Nancy: but she doesn’t look a thing like you so what am I meant to do?

Teddy: A pillow over her head can only do so much

Nancy: yeah, no dick either 😔

Teddy: But you do have [whatever she used before that was the right size of his] to fit inside of her & then yourself

Nancy: OH

Teddy: Nobody in the club is going to be as fun as that 😔

Nancy: Come on, don’t give up

Nancy: we can think of an equally fun idea for you

Teddy: No, you’ll be having the most fun you can possibly have & I’ll be super bored, which is typical when you’re the one who’s supposed to be receiving a punishment

Nancy: I won’t touch her

Nancy: not unless we can do it together

Teddy: All I can do is take the word of someone who doesn’t even trust mine

Nancy: If you weren’t in a club, you could call me

Nancy: I’ll buy you a baby monitor, what about that?

Teddy: It won’t arrive immediately, she’ll be gone

Nancy: I’m not going to do it, please

Teddy: If you say so, oh wait, no, that’s still trust based

Nancy: Teddy, I get it

Teddy: Good, please understand that without it we can barely do anything we want to

Nancy: I’m sorry

Teddy: You will be, the amount of fun you’ll miss out on if you don’t trust me

Nancy: Okay, then I’ll trust you

Teddy: We’ll see

Nancy: I love you, I didn’t say it earlier when you did so

Teddy: You’re just saying it now as something you think I want to hear

Nancy: If that was the case, you’d be happier to hear it

Nancy: I just want to

Teddy: I’m happy when you mean it & I can tell that isn’t the case

Nancy: You don’t want to hear it because you’re enjoying being mean too much

Teddy: You want to get your own way

Nancy: I want you to love me again

Teddy: Well, the blackmail plot is reserved for my father

Nancy: Wow, alright then

Teddy: You can’t manipulate me as easily

Nancy: That’s not what this is

Teddy: It is, I’m not a complete fool

Nancy: Have a good rest of your evening

Teddy: You too

Nancy: yeah, fuck you too

Teddy: A fantastic choice of words considering how reluctant you are to

Nancy: You’re the one who won’t fucking come over and do it

Teddy: I wouldn’t need to come over if you hadn’t kicked me out in the first place

Nancy: It’s too late now, she’ll be too conscious 

Teddy: Yeah, it is

Nancy: You’re a child

Teddy: You have the option to fuck someone your own age, tonight or on any other

Nancy: yeah, now you’re bored I do

Teddy: Have a marvellous time 

Nancy: Obviously

Teddy: I’ll drink to it

Nancy: No need to waste any more time thinking about me

Teddy: The Nancy I think about isn’t a disappointment the way you’re determined to be, it’s fine 🥂

Nancy: You’re determined to be disappointed in whatever I say or do now

Teddy: No, but it’s unfortunate I am

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: all because I sent you away

Teddy: You’ve thrown this all away repeatedly, I’ve lost count of how many times over the course of today you’ve told me we’re through with everything

Nancy: So what, it’s your turn?

Nancy: If you don’t want it then you’re cutting your own nose off

Teddy: I haven’t once agreed to your nonsense

Nancy: You’re pushing me away

Teddy: I’m not giving you exactly what you want the moment you decide you want it, because the next you’ll change your mind & say you don’t

Nancy: Then there’s no point carrying on this conversation, so go talk to [whoever he said before] and have fun, seriously

Teddy: It’s always on your terms or absolutely nothing

Nancy: It was you who said you’d give me everything I want, now you’ve taken it back

Nancy: Do you actually have anything to say?

Teddy: I can’t do this with you at the same time as what I have to do with your idiot cousin, I’ll lose my grip on my sanity

Nancy: Oh my GOD, I’m not doing anything

Nancy: what have you taken, you’re being super paranoid 

Teddy: [whatever he has taken because lol I’m sure you have]

Nancy: that explains it

Teddy: What explains you? Because today has been ridiculous

Nancy: If you’re saying I should be medicated, I’ve tried plenty of what they hand out

Teddy: I just want to know

Nancy: I tried to explain it to you before but I obviously don’t know well enough myself because we’re here again

Teddy: Things can’t have gone that right with her & this wrong with you, it’s entirely the opposite way to how I’d like them to be

Nancy: When you’ve come down and back up again, come find me and we’ll make up

Teddy: Okay, I will

Nancy: I’ll remind you if you don’t

Teddy: Please

Nancy: It’s a promise

Teddy: I hope so, it’s vile to miss you as much as I do

Nancy: I know, I told you I feel sick

Nancy: you can move in as soon as possible, can’t you

Teddy: Yes

Nancy: We can make an excuse, that you need to, she’ll be thankful, even though she can’t move herself in as well

Teddy: I’ll go with the star crossed lovers angle, my parents are furious I’m dating her but I am, because we’re SO in love I HAVE to

Nancy: She’ll eat that up

Teddy: & they are going to be furious, whether enough to kick me out in reality yet or not

Nancy: You can’t very well tell them it’s not real, ruins the fun

Teddy: You’ll come out of it extremely well, being supportive & offering me a place to stay

Nancy: I’m obviously your two’s biggest fan

Teddy: I’ve been an idiot, I don’t know why either

Nancy: Neither of us does this often

Teddy: I think I’m scared too, of you like you are of me

Nancy: yeah

Nancy: and tonight I’m sorry because I want you close to me

Teddy: I didn’t expect it to hurt as badly as that, when you didn’t

Nancy: It was like watching myself from the ceiling, it just happened, beyond my control

Teddy: I can relate, since I arrived at this club I may as well have been on the ceiling

Nancy: I know those nights

Nancy: where are you going to go after

Teddy: Home?

Teddy: the [this drug he’s on] isn’t helping

Nancy: Want me to keep you company then?

Teddy: I can’t promise I’ll be good company

Nancy: I can handle it

Nancy: you should probably have some [either booze or another drug that has the opposite effect to whatever he has taken] try to level out

Teddy: [go find that and send evidence of you taking it like a good boy lol, looking a mood and a moment doing it no doubt despite the state of you]

Nancy: There you go, that’ll help 🥰

Teddy: [suggest something she’d have to hand whether that’s drugs or a drink to help with how sick she said she felt] will help you

Nancy: [do the same and be in your own bed now because leave that gal alone]

Teddy: How DARE you look incredible when you feel bad

Nancy: says you, always looking like that

Teddy: I feel like a child, wanting to ask you out & hold your hand & kiss you

Nancy: Everyone is so corrupted by the time they hit like year 10, that’s why, everyone is a mess

Nancy: I like holding your hand, a lot

Teddy: It’s a blur, my entire childhood, perhaps I should find that slightly concerning?

Nancy: Quite possibly

Nancy: but you are the baby, if everything is already a mess before you even understand it all

Teddy: I didn’t quite fix everything as intended

Nancy: You’re too good to waste your time trying, it’s all a farce, the loving family

Teddy: You know I can give you that though, don’t you? 

Nancy: Yes

Nancy: you already give me more

Nancy: attention, energy, even when that’s used on being mad

Teddy: Even fighting with you feels good

Nancy: It means you care, you’ve not given up

Teddy: Today was a blip, I’m not giving up

Nancy: Me either, I’m going to make you stuck with me forever

Teddy: Not stuck, that’s your cousin in her [whatever outfit she was wearing that he bought for her, calling it by its designer probably like a dick]

Nancy: The swelling 🤭

Teddy: Put it on for me when she leaves

Nancy: There’s no point her taking it home, after-all

Teddy: & let me take you to [wherever they went on this notp date]

Nancy: Please, you have to

Teddy: Anything Grace & I do

Nancy: I can’t stand being jealous of her, it’ll make me crazy

Nancy: crazier

Teddy: You don’t deserve to be left out

Nancy: thank you 🥺

Teddy: We aren’t going to have any repeats of what happened, I’m going to treat you like royalty

Nancy: I’m going to be so much nicer

Teddy: Rex can be jealous, neither of us

Nancy: He’ll be so happy to have you home with us

Teddy: He must be 🐶🥺💔 his mummy & daddy fighting for such a long time

Nancy: I’ll tell him we’re making up and he can watch, poor baby

Teddy: Is he there with you right now?

Nancy: Yes, I woke him up when I left the spare room

Teddy: [some kind of shameless voice note in his dog/baby voice that’s actually purely for her benefit, we know the vibes]

Nancy: I’m trying to give you so many babies so you have to talk like that forever 

Teddy: I have no complaints about making them forever

Nancy: best daddy

Teddy: I want to fuck you constantly

Nancy: You need to, nothing else could be as important

Teddy: I was hard for you the entire time, she couldn’t even tell

Nancy: She couldn’t even see straight

Nancy: it’ll never be for her

Teddy: Every inch is for you

Nancy: I am so happy, I just want you, no one else 

Teddy: I believe you this time

Nancy: You have to, I need to be with you

Teddy: I need you now, I can’t stand being without you

Nancy: I could come to yours? We can be together

Teddy: What about her?

Nancy: I think she’ll be fine

Nancy: neither of us has ever actually choked on our own vomit and we’ve been much more wasted

Teddy: Still, if anyone would die at the precise moment things are about to be really entertaining for us

Nancy: yeah, you’re right but

Nancy: God, I am losing it without you

Teddy: Embarrass her into boarding the earliest possible flight home

Nancy: That’s what I do best

Nancy: and you did go out after your date, what could be more shaming?

Teddy: I’ll come over the instant she’s away

Nancy: You’re only making it in the door so no one but us gets to appreciate all the things we need to do

Teddy: & I hate for Rex to escape thinking I’m upset at you because he hasn’t had a chance to see us happy again

Nancy: He’s too little, he has to stay with us

Nancy: he’ll be almost as happy she’s gone, she takes too much attention

Teddy: She’s too loud

Nancy: and clumsy

Teddy: There isn’t going to be any water in his bowl for him to drink with her kicking it as often as she does

Nancy: Did think you were going to force me to drink out of it… which is fun and all but I might want my own bowl so he doesn’t bite my face off

Teddy: I’ve NEVER seen you drink water, you’ll have to have your own for what you actually drink out of it

Nancy: Hey 😅 I hydrate!

Nancy: but again, the possibilities are intriguing and endless

Teddy: You must, your skin would be horrific otherwise & it isn’t

Nancy: are you going to call me old and wrinkly now

Teddy: No baby

Nancy: You kinda did, she said I was too old for you, or you were too young for me

Teddy: She’s got a lower IQ than Rex has, don’t listen to her

Nancy: We think the same, however old

Teddy: & I couldn’t be any more attracted to you

Nancy: You were hard the whole time 😸😸

Teddy: [some pics he had taken at some point to illustrate this fact but then got too distracted to show her because she kicked him out etc]

Nancy: I’m going to die when you’re inside me

Teddy: [tell her some more deets from this date that you forgot to whisper to her earlier cos the excitement and everything but have just come back to you rn cos of sending those pics]

Nancy: No one else could do this like you, you know that

Nancy: It would be so boring, if it worked at all

Teddy: I’m irreplaceable 

Nancy: You’re perfect for me

Teddy: I’ll feel perfect inside of you, you already know that after [whatever she used as a replica]

Nancy: I kept that under my pillow, it’s the closest I could feel to you whilst you were on your date

Teddy: Keep it in you until she wakes up

Nancy: I’m practising 👅

Teddy: I want you to feel close to me, for it to feel real until we’re back together

Nancy: You’re not leaving, not until she’s back, all we’re going to do is fuck

Teddy: Order your new bed, it has to be here

Nancy: Alright

Nancy: you don’t have to call in sick to Uni, right, you just don’t show?

Teddy: Nobody’ll care but the rugby team

Nancy: They can have you back when I’m finished

Teddy: I won’t let you be finished with me

Nancy: Okay, but I absolutely insist you let me watch you getting all muddy wrestling around with other hot guys

Teddy: I’ll hurt someone just for you 

Nancy: I’ll still kiss you better instead

Teddy: I’ll have to buy you something [whatever these rugby colours are], maybe [something boujee and ridiculous]?

Nancy: Rex wants us all to match too 🥰😌

Nancy: He just said

Teddy: [this boy just having a lil online shopping spree rn and letting her know about all of it, I dread to think]

Nancy: 🥳

Nancy: [send him bed options you’re looking at that have no business being so expensive]

Teddy: [Tell her your faves and ask her when’s the soonest they can be delivered etc because obvs wanna fuck on it ASAP and ideally for the first time that y’all do in her bed so dealbreaker on which one you pick]

Nancy: [do some more research because I’m sure for the right price you can make them take your bed and deliver this one tomorrow, everything can be sorted with cash as long as you’re not asking for some custom bed which is not the vibe, just new for the mood and the moment tah]

Teddy: [oh to be rich, we all know he’s gonna be buying her all sorts of shit for that bed too, the most expensive sheets ever like it’s nbd, a million pillows, the list goes on]

Nancy: 🤴👸 

Nancy: No one else is allowed to sleep in it, ever

Teddy: Promise & I’ll trust you to keep it

Nancy: I promise, not even her

Teddy: Especially not her, some things need to be ours or this isn’t going to work

Nancy: Rex is ours too

Teddy: & he can be mean to her in ways we can’t

Nancy: YOU could bite her too, but how into it she could be is probably a little off-putting

Teddy: I’ll find what she isn’t & do it anyway

Nancy: 😍

Nancy: He isn’t house-trained, I intend to direct him towards her things when I next notice him looking for somewhere to go

Teddy: [just shading her by suggesting things you think she has that this dog should piss on based on your opinion of poor Grace, rightly or wrongly, soz hun]

Nancy: [just join in with suggestions that all seem outlandish but some are clearly real ‘cos you actually know and you’re leaving it to his imagination to work out what is and isn’t]

Teddy: [having a lovely time mocking this girl, excuse us]

Nancy: I missed you so

Teddy: I love you so

Nancy: I love you too

Nancy: you’re going to feel it

Teddy: I do, that’s been the difficulty of today

Nancy: I’m sorry I’m shit at this, I’ve never needed to be good, no one has wanted it

Teddy: I’m not used to struggling either, it rarely happens

Nancy: I can tell

Nancy: I’m going to show you, how to fake struggling at Uni

Teddy: It’ll make such a difference, to be able to put Uni to one side for the time being

Nancy: You’re already going to be pulled in so many directions for all our plans to come together

Teddy: I’m seriously relying on you & your help, you understand that now, don’t you?

Nancy: Totally, you need me

Teddy: We need each other

Nancy: yeah, every time it’s said, it becomes a little less terrifying of a prospect

Teddy: Soon you won’t even be afraid

Nancy: I don’t mind being a little bit afraid, I can handle it for this

Teddy: Be a big, brave girl & you can be a baby when she’s far away

Nancy: You did ask really nicely there 🥺 

Nancy: I’ll try harder

Teddy: So will I, I haven’t been super supportive thus far

Nancy: We’ll learn together

Nancy: even if I’d been loads of people’s serious girlfriend before, I want to be right for you

Teddy: You are right for me, it’s crazy how right you are

Nancy: You’re too right, thinking about losing you nearly made me puke already

Teddy: Did the [whatever he suggested] make you better or have I got more work to do?

Nancy: No it worked 🥰 and you being nice again

Teddy: I think you trump the [whatever drug he took to balance out] too at stabilising my mood

Nancy: This makes me feel like being unbearable in public with you

Teddy: There are somehow numerous places lacking the required courage to ask me to leave, you could be the girl to change that

Nancy: ‘Challenge’ accepted

Teddy: It’ll make the legitimate challenge your cousin poses much more bearable, for both of us to have that one in mind

Nancy: Definitely

Nancy: absolutely no one is going to tell her anything that happens whilst she’s not here, she doesn’t know anyone like that

Teddy: & should anyone dare to attempt it, she isn’t going to believe them over you

Nancy: Never

Nancy: not when I’m the only one supporting your forbidden union 🙄😘

Teddy: Our total freedom to do as we please remains, she isn’t turning our entire lives upside down

Nancy: this plan is for our benefit entirely, if it’s not working for us, it’s not happening

Teddy: We both need to just keep that firmly in mind & not lose sight of it again

Nancy: it’s just pretend she gets everything she wants, it’s real for us

Teddy: It’s OUR forbidden union 

Nancy: I don’t care who I hurt for you

Teddy: Hurt [the peeps he mentioned talking to before, soz that you’ve done literally nothing to deserve this rn] for me

Nancy: Now I have your permission to act batshit… 😈

Teddy: Let it out, you’ve had a horrid day

Nancy: I’ll start tonight but how much does cyberbullying really get to anyone? I’ll have to get out tomorrow night

Teddy: They’ll be at [wherever they’ve said, whether directly to this boy or he’s overheard]

Nancy: And you’ll buy me a new outfit too

Teddy: Whatever she gets you will, except yours is allowed to be flattering

Nancy: I would recommend you let me look better at the end of it, for your own sake, darling

Teddy: Noted, the mighty will have fallen far enough when word spreads Grace & I are official

Nancy: 😬 Good thing you don’t care, it’ll be bad for your rep for

Nancy: forever, if it was real

Teddy: The sacrifices I willingly make for you

Nancy: It’s going to be worth it

Nancy: you can have anything you want from me

Teddy: I know, I’m spurred on by it

Teddy: waiting days to contact her will be tortuous

Nancy: You could open with that

Teddy: She’ll show you whether I do or not, do let me know your thoughts on the opener I choose

Nancy: Undoubtedly it will be far more restrained because she’s so frigid

Teddy: I’ll embody my brother for a spot of roleplay, flowery language that essentially means nothing & goes nowhere

Nancy: Copy and paste poetry for the most generic girl, couldn’t be more perfect

Teddy: I’m in no danger of losing myself as long as I also have you, the least generic girl in the city

Nancy: A boy like you could never be that boring, I’m not concerned you’re going to fall for her

Teddy: I’d sooner fall into [somewhere neither of them would be caught dead] or the arms of [likewise someone they mutually cannot stand]

Nancy: If you ever succumb to such insanity, I’ll get you sectioned, it won’t be hard for me 

Teddy: Saving me from myself would be beyond necessary, yes

Nancy: That is how much I care about you

Nancy: you know I’d be so dreadfully bored alone, too

Teddy: You’re so loving 🥺

Nancy: You make it seem worthwhile, it’s always seemed pointless, caring

Teddy: It was, the point is you & I realising we’re perfect for each other

Nancy: How is it you, you’re so fucking gorgeous

Teddy: Because you are too

Nancy: marry me

Teddy: Meet me in [the boujee-est ring shop ever] when you’re ready to do it

Nancy: and there isn’t a half-dead girl to keep on the right side of 💀

Nancy: it can’t come soon enough

Teddy: There’s no harm in looking at 💍 until then, she isn’t even beside you in bed anymore

Nancy: because I’m behaving, was

Nancy: [send him these websites to look at together, trying to find how dramatic and expensive you can possibly be, which I’m sure we can’t even comprehend]

Teddy: My 😇

Teddy: [god, I just know most of them are hideous because the diamonds would be so big and ridiculous yikes, but obvs he’s joining in and getting into it, as well as being shady about Chlo’s ring and his sister’s at the same time I’m sure, as well as anyone else they know who has gotten married]

Nancy: Yours, however well I’m behaving

Nancy: [truly, just tell him about every friend you have who either outright gave their mans the ring they wanted like this or nothing or ended up returning whatever effort they got for the one they wanted because so real]

Teddy: You’re friends with some real pieces of work, Nance 

Nancy: Isn’t everyone?

Teddy: Everyone worth knowing 

Nancy: I’m not going to do that to you, I didn’t like hurting you like today

Teddy: Once will suffice, we’ve both learned our lesson

Nancy: you can still try the shock collar, if you like

Teddy: Have you ordered one?

Nancy: [confirmation, ‘cos you clearly have lmao]

Nancy: whoops

Teddy: 😈

Nancy: In my defence, I didn’t know how else to cheer you up at the time

Nancy: it was the one thing you seemed certain you wanted 

Teddy: I haven’t changed my mind since, it’s still something I want

Nancy: I want it too, quite badly

Teddy: We do have an example to set after all, how else is Rex supposed to learn unless he sees me fucking you like a 🐶?

Nancy: He’s relying on you to teach him everything you know, truly

Nancy: and he does love to watch, he’s always staring at me, he’ll be even more intrigued when you’re the one pounding me instead

Teddy: I owe it to him to take the responsibility extremely seriously

Nancy: and me

Teddy: & you

Nancy: and I’ve never had this long to fantasize about anyone before, to prepare, it always just happens

Teddy: There didn’t seem to be any appeal to waiting, you want something & you get it as soon as is possible

Nancy: right, exactly

Nancy: and I haven’t even always got everything I wanted like you, that’s still how I felt

Teddy: You’re changing me

Nancy: not too much, I hope

Nancy: I like you as you are

Teddy: Hopefully in ways that’ll make me even more likeable

Nancy: 😸

Nancy: Would you like a housewarming party when you move in?

Teddy: I’d LOVE a housewarming party

Teddy: Is she going to be there?

Nancy: 🤔

Nancy: You’d have to be on your best behaviour until she was too blitzed to remember what you were doing

Nancy: not that that takes long

Teddy: We could have one with her in attendance & one without? 

Nancy: We could, definitely

Nancy: or we could see just how badly we can get her to behave, anything you do will become irrelevant if she yet again commits faux pas after faux pas

Teddy: What a fantastic idea

Nancy: [tell him of examples of you being obviously shitty to Grace which you’ve then gaslit her away from by getting her blasted so she can’t remember and then makes a fool of herself in various ways you encourage her to]

Teddy: You have to be the mother of all my children, nobody else is going to come close to acceptable now I’ve heard that

Nancy: 😳😖

Nancy: ALL of them?

Teddy: It’s important I have sons, J doesn’t have any, but even I can’t control how many attempts it may take

Nancy: I’ll try my hardest but any myths about being able to control it are definitely bullshit

Teddy: Obviously, there’s getting science involved, but that rather takes the fun out of it 🧪

Nancy: I’d rather have several unwanted daughters, if it’s all the same to you

Teddy: They wouldn’t be entirely unwanted, as previously discussed I could name them after you as I like saying it SO much, or they’ll end up taking after you in other ways which will only please me

Nancy: Fuck

Nancy: as long as they look like you, for their own sakes

Teddy: My mother’s side of the genetic code has proven stronger, thankfully, but perhaps I’d like them to be the spitting image of you, what then? Are we going to have another fight?

Nancy: I know you’d make them feel the prettiest, so no, no fighting if that’s what you want

Teddy: You’re the prettiest

Teddy: you’re fucking beautiful, Nancy, no argument

Nancy: Ha, don’t make me cry, please

Teddy: It would take more than a few tears to turn you ugly

Nancy: You’ve always been distractingly handsome, now I get to do something about it

Nancy: as long as her back’s turned

Teddy: She’ll be busy waiting on me once I move in, fetching me drinks or whatever else

Nancy: She takes like no classes at school, she only needs [the minimum you do to go to beauty school] she’s not busy

Teddy: I’m doing her a favour, they’re skills she’ll need for her minimum wage job

Nancy: She’d be lucky to pick up for a guy like you, that job does actually require a little more than fast typing skills, after-all

Teddy: Maybe my father could be convinced to employ her, I doubt he’s opposed to my sloppy seconds given his track record

Nancy: Your father bending your future wife over a desk is very fair grounds to not show for the wedding

Teddy: Though I’m not certain how I feel about him taking away my role as villain 

Nancy: Very true

Nancy: she’ll feel bad but in the guilty she lost you and ruined it way, not in the you never loved her and it was all a lie way

Nancy: entirely different plot

Teddy: She feels like that at the moment & satisfying as it is

Nancy: It’s not quite right

Nancy: plus your father is not leaving your mother to start a new life with Gracie

Teddy: He’d tire of her after 15 minutes

Nancy: Wow, giving him a lot of credit there

Nancy: Impressive for an old guy

Teddy: From what I’ve heard, it’s warranted, however begrudgingly I relay the info & almost immediately regret giving you access to it 

Nancy: 🤐😶 from me, promise

Teddy: You’re not to sleep with my father, promise

Nancy: It would seem like I was trying to collect your family

Nancy: I would never, not now

Teddy: My sister would be a maybe, given the hostage negotiations necessary at this point to free her from her awful decisions, but regrettably I believe those bad choices extend to you not being her ‘type’

Nancy: What did she like, before old men?

Nancy: I didn’t ever feel in direct competition with her for dates, and trust me, it is that intimate a scene

Teddy: She openly dated [name drop some people that Nancy would know but I’m not committing my boo to anything or a time period given we are going to possibly play her and have an idea for that storyline]

Nancy: 🤔🤔🤔

Nancy: Lots of them are still available… we’ll work something out, that doesn’t involve an unwelcomed lesbian advance

Teddy: Tell me about your father, if my mother began seeing him that would fuck over yours in a personal as well as business sense 

Nancy: He’s… money motivated, definitely but I don’t even know what he likes outside of things that everyone likes, and he’d always rather do them with my mum than anyone else

Nancy: has anyone close to your mum died? 

Teddy: [one of her parents that it is irrelevant basically so I don’t need to commit rn] but everyone’s her age has

Nancy: His twin killed herself, when they were 13, then his baby brother died a few years back now, got stabbed

Teddy: How dark

Teddy: we could kill my father?

Nancy: How? 😏

Teddy: 🤔 something new to fantasise about

Nancy: It was fun to toy with smothering her

Nancy: I imagine your dad would require more planning beforehand

Teddy: Slightly, I’ve been too open about hating him, it’s a clear motive

Nancy: Rehab, psych ward, prison

Nancy: how many visiting lists do you want to put me on?

Teddy: ALL of them darling, you’ll simply have to marry me for that reason alone

Nancy: That’s actually SO romantic, babe 😄

Nancy: I’ll make sure we clean up after ourselves so well you never get caught

Teddy: Oh no, I can’t deal with the fact we’re not going to be able to pay someone to clean up for us, the plan’s FIRST flaw 

Nancy: You’ll like getting clean with me this one time, I PROMISE

Nancy: it involves getting super messy first, that’s the main thing to focus on

Teddy: Okay, it does sound promising

Nancy: You know you wanna be covered in his blood, don’t play

Teddy: You’ll make me blush

Nancy: Good

Teddy: You want me to?

Nancy: Yes

Teddy: Regardless of where I am or who I’m with?

Nancy: You don’t have to explain about the whole dead dad element, so, of course

Teddy: I like our secrets too much to share them around

Nancy: it’s like having a real friend, or what siblings are meant to be like, I’m not sure

Nancy: but I like it too, maybe the most

Teddy: You deserve a better label than that & you know I don’t care for them most of the time

Nancy: I know the title you want to give me but until then

Teddy: Friend or brotherzoning me would be harsh if I wasn’t aware of how hot you are for yours

Nancy: You’re such a prick 😅😣

Teddy: There’s no shame, baby, it’s totally fine

Nancy: There’d be SO much shame, he’s a complete narcissist that thinks EVERYONE wants to bone him, it’s ridiculous

Teddy: I’ll keep it to myself 

Nancy: It isn’t some sickness my entire family has

Teddy: I’m only playing with you, I promise

Nancy: It tops the porn cats for a reason, just another fantasy

Nancy: you wouldn’t be the first to make the jokes, don’t worry

Teddy: Would it cheer you up if we plot to break up his relationship too?

Nancy: Definitely

Teddy: What weaknesses does she have to exploit?

Nancy: Her family, she’s overly invested in them all

Teddy: But they’re already not happy, naturally 

Nancy: but when she feels like she can step in and help, she does, and he hates it

Teddy: How convenient that Grace is her family

Nancy: mhmm

Nancy: She’s going to want to kill me

Teddy: There’s potential in how desperate she’ll be to stop the wedding

Nancy: There’s not a chance in hell she’ll be cool with this, if there was a way she could stop her, she would

Teddy: It isn’t adequate by itself but it’ll get to him

Nancy: He’ll hate how much she hates it, having to engage with it

Teddy: & the Jay drama will add to it, when we decide to fuck up J’s sobriety nonsense

Nancy: How unfortunate he’s got to behave now he’s a law school dickhead, he’ll wanna beat you and James up so badly 💔

Teddy: It would be the BIGGEST pity if he was provoked into snapping

Nancy: it’s a very provoking situation

Teddy: You can lose everything so quickly when you lose control

Nancy: and he has such a lot to lose

Teddy: & his loss is entirely your gain, especially if Ava is foolish enough to try & stand by J

Teddy: you can be their favourite

Nancy: I don’t think Grace appreciates yet how badly everyone in the family is going to hate her, for getting more involved with yours, making everything more of a mess

Nancy: and yeah, Ava will be in the same boat if she stays on his side

Teddy: It’ll be fun when she starts to appreciate it

Nancy: Doubles down on picking you… not at all a poor decision

Teddy: We’ll be all she has, you & I

Nancy: She used to listen to everything Rio said, wanna be just like her

Nancy: it hasn’t been like that in a long time

Teddy: She chose you

Nancy: and she’ll choose you

Teddy: Are you happy again?

Nancy: Always with you

Nancy: you give me so many ideas

Teddy: Once I’ve been invited to a few family functions with her I’ll have more, it’ll take a lot of the guesswork about them out of it knowing who I’m dealing with

Nancy: I’ll tell you more

Nancy: I’ve just spent the last… however long it is now, trying to ignore the fact I’m related to them all

Teddy: Of course you have

Nancy: Family events are only tolerable when I can ‘ruin’ them by being inappropriately trashed

Teddy: She can follow in your footsteps & make it tolerable for me

Nancy: It’ll be weird

Teddy: But we’ll handle it better than today went

Nancy: Or you’ll run in horror

Teddy: You have self awareness your family is a freak show, it’s not as if I’m going to have to try & break it to you gently when I discover the insanity myself

Nancy: Everyone’s is, it’s hardly as rare as people would love to pretend for their own shame’s sake

Teddy: Mine’s as horrific, when we run off it has to be hand in hand together

Nancy: Once they’re all fucked over completely, no way back from it for them

Teddy: The ultimate fantasy

Nancy: I need it to be real, Teddy

Teddy: I’ll make all your dreams come true, you know that

Nancy: Even the ones I don’t know about yet

Teddy: Even the ones you change your mind about & get upset at me for

Nancy: I need someone who knows me better than myself

Teddy: I want to

Nancy: Please, do it

Teddy: You’ve asked like that, I’ve been given no choice

Nancy: I told you I was going to trap you, you were warned if not given enough time to get out

Teddy: Trap me, do it

Teddy: please

Nancy: I swear 

Nancy: once I focus all my energy on you, you’ll love me more than she does, need me more

Teddy: I need that to be real, I so badly want all of your attention

Nancy: I can tell

Nancy: and I think I’d like giving it to you, you being special 

Teddy: Am I special?

Nancy: I don’t think I could say no at this point

Teddy: In that case, I’m happy again too

Nancy: You should be, I’ve never told anyone they’re special, not even as a blatant lie

Teddy: I can tell

Nancy: That I’m a cold bitch?

Nancy: Not sure it would be news to anyone 😏

Teddy: That even when you lie you’re careful with them 

Nancy: There’s nothing more awkward than a compulsive liar… the delusion is too much for me, I have SOME shame, like 😳

Teddy: I agree, it does quickly become embarrassing 

Nancy: It was very Chlo, when we were at school, it was entertaining at times but entirely irritating the rest

Nancy: That’s why I was like her ONLY friend, by the end

Teddy: The absence of her was vital for my heart to grow fonder, she’s an acquired taste certainly

Nancy: Oh, yeah, I’d forgotten you’re in love with her 🙄

Teddy: Ha ha

Teddy: there would be nothing more awkward than that cliche

Nancy: Yet more younger brother shame 💔 tragic

Teddy: She’s amusing, that’s all

Nancy: Of course

Teddy: Say it like you believe me

Nancy: 😉

Nancy: like you said, it’s a tired cliche, you can think of better

Teddy: Yeah & she’s looking tired 

Nancy: She hasn’t stopped partying since abandoning her children

Nancy: Do I have to promise not to sleep with your brother as well?

Teddy: I assumed it was a given you wouldn’t be interested considering he hasn’t partied since [whenever it was in terms of how long ago now]

Nancy: I’m not interested but it’s always been part of my plan to fuck over Ava since they got together

Teddy: & we intend to, therefore I’m not overly concerned you’ll also sleep with him

Nancy: Well okay, if you’re sure

Teddy: You’re making me feel unsure

Nancy: I’m just joking, you can sleep with Ava though, if you want

Teddy: She doesn’t want to or I already would have

Nancy: She’ll get bored, she was all in on that girl before this, nothing lasts with her

Teddy: She’s too serious for me, I’d get bored

Nancy: It’s just the easiest way to break people up, that’s all

Teddy: If she’s being stubborn & ruining our plan, I’ll reconsider

Nancy: 😌 Thanks

Teddy: I’ve done worse things as a last resort

Teddy: [tell her about some of your schemes that have gone wrong cos some of them must have especially when you were younger]

Nancy: You’d obviously be so lucky and THRILLED to get the chance, but that’s the point, she acts so perfect and above it all

Nancy: Good thing we’re in this together regardless because that doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence… 😅🫢

Teddy: Well, the fact I’m telling you my failures SHOULD fill you to the brim with confidence, I’m trusting you

Nancy: I know you like to kiss and tell

Nancy: but at least you’re not lying, that would be pointless

Teddy: So share with me something you aren’t proud of

Nancy: How long have you got?

Teddy: Technically, a full week until Grace returns

Nancy: That isn’t how I plan to spend it

Nancy: I’d say it’d be easier to tell you what I’m proud of but not really

Teddy: 🥺💔 I’m about to be so extremely proud of you none of that will matter at all

Nancy: That got depressing, sorry, think it was the [whatever substances you’ve mixed at this point] 

Nancy: gonna recalibrate 

Teddy: [again suggest something she should do] is going to save you

Nancy: Good idea

Nancy: that and thinking about you being proud of me should work 

Teddy: Because of the future I’ve promised you the past will simply cease to exist

Nancy: I’m not going to care how little impact I have in any of their lives if I’m the focus of yours, am I

Nancy: They all have it, I want it too

Teddy: You can have it all, darling, a big impact upon their lives & mine

Nancy: okay

Nancy: I’m doubting them, not you, I trust you now

Teddy: We won’t stop until you’re satisfied with what you’ve done to them, it’s as simple as that

Nancy: Yeah? 

Teddy: I have more stamina than my father across the board

Nancy: God, I love you

Nancy: Be here now

Teddy: Grace is going to wake up [however long from now the random 5am you always seem to wake up at after a night out] you heard me, I need MUCH longer than that

Nancy: 😿😿😿

Nancy: but

Teddy: We can’t

Teddy: but I’ll call you

Nancy: You can tell me how much I should remind her of when she wakes up

Teddy: [do call her and just be as feral as you can for as long as possible, we know the drill]

Nancy: [living your best lives as much as you can when you once again cockblocked]

Teddy: [do you wanna post this? It seems like a good stopping point?]

Nancy: [I shall moodam]

[thetoxicgamer]

This is the Most Demanding PC Game in Terms of GPU Power 'And for a Long Time It Had No Graphics'

It takes a whole lot of GPU power to run today's most powerful AI models. Even the most extreme gaming PC build wouldn't be able to handle the kind of oomph needed to get the best AI Dungeon models up and running. In order for Latitude to power what's essentially this less numbers-heavy, more free and creative online D&D campaign, you'd need something truly beastly. According to Nick Walton, the CEO of Latitude and the software engineer who helped design the initial code for the D&D-inspired story generator, "If you wanted to run the largest AI for AI dungeon, you would need not just a high-powered GPU, but a cluster of eight or 16 massive high-powered GPUs." Even those would need to be more powerful than the best graphics cards on the consumer market. Language models such as AI Dungeon's Dragon experience, based on the 178 billion parameter Jurrasic-1 Jumbo language model developed by AI21, need a huge level of computing power to recognise and recall important story elements, and utilise complex writing styles. Nick pointed me toward the DGX Station A100 as reference for the kind of machines Latitude uses to power the game's more intense AI models. It's a computing monster even with just four of Nvidia's $10,000 A100 GPUs—the first and essentially the most powerful Ampere graphics cards to surface. "AI Dungeon, especially at launch and probably still even today, is the most demanding game in terms of graphics card requirements," says Nick, "and for a long time it had no graphics." For machines like the DGX Station with, say, eight top-of-the-line A100 GPUs jammed in, you're looking at around $150,000 in up front tech costs, and that's just to run the most advanced AI alone—the company has several other AI models it needs to run simultaneously for your dungeoning pleasure. That's one reason the company uses AI service providers, and even those have had a hard time getting hold of GPUs recently. Obviously there's a huge energy cost associated with running an AI business like this one, too; Nick tells me at one point the company was spending almost as much on running the machines as they were on payroll for the 16 person team (that's including the higher-ups). Adding to those energy costs is the game's AI image tool, which at the start of this week Latitude made the decision to roll out for free to all players. Nick was able to clear up how it worked for us. He says a catalogue of tens of thousands of images is pre-generated, each one is captioned and then matched with stories as they're being played, rather than them being generated on the fly. He makes it clear that generating images during gameplay isn't really viable for an operation like this, but that the AI models behind the process are smart enough to know it can get away with matching an image captioned "Mountain forest with castle," to a story in which a Medieval kingdom is mentioned. Nick also laments that working with AI can be super challenging. Controlling what the AI says in order to stop it from going rogue is difficult, since "AI can sometimes be like an unruly toddler." You can kind of influence it in the right direction but sometimes if you "give it instructions to not do something, you've now primed its brain, and it's probably going to do that thing." Thankfully the team is working on optimisations for not only making their AI more efficient, but also for keeping it in check. That's all going to become more important as the game rolls out on Steam next week, July 28. Our Fraser believes that videogames need more Dungeon Masters, and Nick is inclined to agree. In fact, it was his fascination with the freedom, and non-linearity of Dungeons and Dragons that lead him to create AI Dungeon. Nick really exudes a passion for AI storytelling, believing that this kind of tech will change the storytelling landscape in a two major ways. First, "Ai is going to enable experiences that have freedom and dynamic-ness that has never been possible before." He speaks of just how many people have completed those same quests in World of Warcraft, for example, and how it's boring knowing other people are doing the same thing you are. "I want to play an experience where I go to this small town, and I go through all these unique events that no one's gone through before, and end up the hero of town," Nick says. "Maybe no other player in the whole game cares about that town but I DO! It's where I've had all these cool experiences that were unique and where I had the freedom to decide where the story goes." And it's not just a unique experience that AI storytelling offers. "The second thing I think is really powerful," says Nick, "is AI's ability to enable an entirely new, massive generation of creators … enabling every person to be a creative director of their own experience." Nick is convinced creators will one day be able to orchestrate their creative visions, bringing them to life through the power of AI. Honestly, that's a much nicer take on the future of AI than most people have, so I appreciate it. It's exciting to watch companies like Latitude expand and evolve along with something I'm so fiercely passionate about: emergent storytelling. And I'm sure the Steam launch is going to be a success, so get AI Dungeon on your wishlist because boy are you in for a ride. Read the full article

[wildxlily]

Sneaking Around

Harry entered his mum’s house, closing and locking the door behind Lily after she joined him. It was very quiet besides the cats running into the kitchen for food; it was completely different than what they were used to with Anne typically there to greet them. Harry took the job of feeding the cats and once he was done, he was leaning against the counter with his gaze on Lily. “You know, babe…my mum actually isn’t home tonight,” he cheekily grinned, giving a not-so-nonchalant wink.

Lily quickly followed Harry into the house, not wanting to be in the cold any longer than she had to, and shed her coat. Thankfully Anne preferred her home to be warm. She had to giggle at the cats running into the kitchen right behind Harry, much like their own Finnegan. “Oh, these two know what time it is,” she giggled as she joined them in the kitchen. She bent down to run her fingers down their backs as they ate before glancing up at Harry. It was hard not to laugh at his super over the top wink. “Oh yeah? At all? Or just for a bit?” she played along, slowly standing up straight again.

  “Just like our Finny,” Harry smiled. They hung back for a minute or two to make sure the cats were comfortable eating for them, but it was clear they’d been more than ready for dinner. “Yep. Told me she’d be gone the whole night,” Harry answered with a slow nod, hands resting at the edge of the countertop as he stood in front of it.

  Lily chewed on her bottom lip as she slowly walked towards Harry. But she stopped just far enough that he’d have to reach out to touch her. “Wow. Soo…you mean you have the house to yourself tonight?” she asked innocently, fingers hooked together behind her back to keep from reaching out to Harry herself. It was practically impossible for them to be this close and not touching.

  Harry grinned watching Lily walk closer. It was difficult to play along without having any sort of touch on her, even with as close as she was. “You mean, we have the house to ourselves tonight?” he moved to stand up straight, eyes locked on hers.

  Lily’s brows raised slightly, “Oh. So, I take it I’m staying then.” She was already enjoying this; the tension between them was thick and they’d just begun. But of course, they’d been thinking about this for a while.

  One of Harry’s brows raised in return and a playful smirk took over his face. “So, you’re telling me, we’ve got this whole house to ourselves, a once in a lifetime opportunity, and there was a chance you weren’t going to stay?” He grinned at her.

  Lily shrugged a shoulder and she finally reached out, tugging on one of his hoodie strings. “Didn’t know if you had something in mind…besides feeding the cats. Don’t want to assume things, you know.” She could play innocent all day and she quite enjoyed it, especially knowing the effect it had on Harry.

  That tug had Harry taking a few steps closer to her. “Yeah, you’re right…maybe we could just stick to feeding the cats tonight?” He joked, placing his hands on her hips. Lily’s tone and how she bit her lip and the way she feigned innocence so well already had him slightly hard, he was desperate to admit.

  Lily pouted her bottom lip ever so slightly as she peeked up at him, feigning disappointment. “Oh. Well…okay. I just thought…” she trailed off, her eyes darting away. She took a few steps back out of his embrace, but inside she was dying for him to chase her.

  Harry’s arm was wrapping around Lily’s waist the second she stepped away from him. “Come back here,” he pulled her into him with a grin, brushing his thumb against her bottom lip while his hand rested along her jaw, “You thought what?”

  It was hard not to smile when Harry pulled her in exactly like she’d wanted him to. Her hands instantly came to rest on his chest, secretly feeling up his pecs through the fabric of his hoodie. Her lips parted at the touch of his thumb and she couldn’t think for a moment, couldn’t respond when he made her core pulse like that. Damn she was weak for him. Something as simple as pulling her into his chest and touching her lip and she was a mess. Pathetic. “I don’t know. Thought maybe we could hang out in your room or something.”

  Harry always took note of what had an effect on Lily, so of course he noticed her parted lips and slight hesitancy to respond. “Yeah? Okay… I’ll show you my room,” he agreed knowingly, his grip falling from her waist and instead finding her own hand. He laced their fingers before he was leading her up the stairs, not going too much further before they were in his old room like they’d been just weeks ago.

  Lily’s hands slid down from Harry’s chest, one of them finding his, and she followed him all too willingly. Just holding his hand, though, allowed her to calm herself down a bit. She needed to not be so revved up and ready to go. This was supposed to be dragged out and that was what was going to make it so good.

  Harry stepped into the room with Lily and turned on the light. “Here it is,” he announced softly with a grin and looked around. “I’ve got some band posters, a guitar that I dabble with, uhm…there’s my closet,” he nodded and then the bed conveniently caught his attention, “Oh! And my bed. If you wanted to hang out there.”

  Lily chuckled softly and nodded. “It is a nice bed,” she teased, walking over and sitting down on the edge. She leaned back on her hands before nodding to the guitar. “Play me a song?” she asked softly, completely genuine. It wasn’t part of the roleplaying at all. After hearing Harry was in a band, she’d take any excuse to hear him sing or play an instrument.

  Harry laughed softly with Lily regarding his blunt transition to the bed, but then her question brought him back to having just an adoring smile on his face. They were always intrigued to find out more about each other’s pasts. “Right now?” he grinned.

  Lily bit her lip, but her excited grin was still obvious as she nodded. “Please. If you don’t mind.” What a dream to be serenaded by your lover.

  Harry watched Lily and couldn’t say no based on her reaction. He smiled as he went over to pick up the guitar from where it had been sitting and stood as he began to tune it. “Do you have a song in mind?”

  Lily’s eyes were locked on Harry, watching his every move. Especially his long fingers tuning the guitar as if it hadn’t been years since he’d even touched the guitar. “A love song is my only request. Whichever one you know,” she answered.

  “Hmm, a love song…” Harry smiled looking at Lily while he thought. A song quickly came to mind as their eyes locked: Can’t Help Falling in Love. It was one that reminded him of Lily every time he heard it, one that he remembered on the guitar and hopefully then wouldn’t be too difficult to play. It was popular but that didn’t change how Harry loved it, or loved older music in general, and thought Lily may just enjoy it too. “This one is for my Lily,” he grinned; it took him a moment to find the right chords, but he began to play and sing once he figured it out.

  Lily giggled softly at his dedication, but she was absolutely silent once Harry began to play. She could’ve called it; known that he would play this song. It was the epitome of a love song and its popularity didn’t diminish how much she enjoyed it. Even more so with her Harry singing and playing it. Her chest was warm and she knew she had total heart eyes as she watched him, practically falling in love with him all over again right then and there.

  Harry’s grin slowly faded the more he focused on remembering the words and the specific cords on the guitar. It had been years since he played and hoped it didn’t show, but knew that wouldn’t matter to Lily anyway. His expression lit back up when he met her gaze again, though, and got to see that look on her face that he loved so much. Singing that song to Lily was effortless, as every single line reminded him of her.

  Lily admittedly got a little choked up listening to Harry, but she managed a small, loving smile when he met her gaze. God how she wanted to kiss him right now and tell him how she loved him more than anything else in the world, but she didn’t want to interrupt him.

  Harry smiled finishing out the song, keeping his gaze on her. Even though it’s been so long since singing and playing, it got easier the more he did it, and Lily just made him feel completely at ease as well. He played the last note before carefully putting the guitar back in its spot. “Certainly did not think I would be pulling out the guitar tonight,” Harry laughed softly and made his way over to her.

  Lily sat up straight, impatiently waiting for him to put away the guitar and then eagerly reaching out for him. “Lovey…that was…” she shook her head, completely at a loss for words. “I love your voice and that song and you.” The second he sat down, her lips were on his in a gentle, but lingering kiss.

  Harry took a seat next to Lily, smiling into the kiss and bringing his hand to rest along her jaw. “I love you and you and you,” he grinned, pulling back just enough so that he could look at her, “I think of you every time I hear that song.”

  If Lily thought her heart was melting before, it was a complete puddle now. “Are you trying to make me cry?” she questioned, softly brushing her nose against his before sneaking another kiss. Now that they’d broken the seal, she wouldn’t be able to stop kissing him.

  Harry smiled and softly trailed his fingertips along her jaw. “Not my intent, no. Just want you to know I’m always thinking of you,” he spoke and returned that kiss, which turned into a series of other ones that lingered longer and longer the more that they shared.

  Lily didn’t know what to say back, too caught up in her feelings, but it didn’t matter because Harry’s lips were on hers so she couldn’t speak anyways. The more they kissed, Lily began to lay back on the bed, bringing Harry with her and not separating their lips anytime soon if she could help it.

  Harry was quickly and completely distracted by Lily’s kisses. He followed Lily as she laid back, moving them so that her head was supported on the pillow and Harry hovered over her, their lips never disconnecting. They were experts in knowing how to move together by now.

  Lily helped Harry in shifting them so she was laying properly on the bed. It was smaller than their bed at home, but they had manipulated much smaller spaces, like their couch, so they would be fine. And she wasn’t even thinking about that when Harry’s lips were on hers.

  Harry easily settled between Lily’s legs, pressing his body against hers with his forearms on either side of her head to hold himself up. He’d kiss her forever if he could. Their lips moved together effortlessly, Harry getting a little smile when he gently tugged Lily’s bottom lip between his own.

  Lily moved her hands to rest at Harry’s sides. Not that she figured he’d be moving away from her anytime soon, but if he did, she could easily pull him back down. She gave his hips a small squeeze when he tugged at her lip, letting him know that she liked it. As with most things that Harry did.

  Harry slowly released Lily’s bottom lip just to press them together again in a kiss. Their hips rubbed against each other’s with each move and Harry kept her close, his hand resting along the side of her neck.

  Lily’s body heated up quickly, especially when Harry kissed her like that and their hips moved together like that. She figured Harry obviously felt the same and so her fingers hooked around the hem of his hoodie and began to pull it up, stopping at his armpits when she couldn’t get it any further.

  Harry sat up once Lily nudged his hoodie up, pulling it the rest of the way off and being shirtless underneath. He undid the front of his jeans as well before gently tugging up at Lily’s shirt, clearly wanting hers off too.

  Lily couldn’t help but smile when she noticed Harry undoing his jeans. She was about to reach out to help him when he pulled at her shirt instead, so she sat up as well and held her arms above her head for him. Of course, her eyes were locked on his, that smile still tugging at the corner of her lips.

  Harry kneeled on the bed in front of Lily and caught her smile, returning the same expression as he slipped her shirt off over her head. “Hi,” he grinned, stepping off the bed for a moment so he could get his jeans off.

  Lily bit her lip and rested her cheek against her shoulder as she looked at him with a shy smile. “Hi,” she whispered softly back at him. There were butterflies in her stomach as she looked him over before meeting his green eyes once more.

  Harry smiled and sat in front of her on the bed again once his jeans were off. Her shy smile and soft tone didn’t go unnoticed. “How’s my beautiful girl doing?” he grinned, brushing her hair behind her shoulder before kissing at the hinge of her jaw.

  Lily tilted her head ever so slightly, a small shiver running down her spine at his light touch despite her warm body. Her own hand came up to gently cup his neck, thumb absently stroking along his jaw. “I think I’m falling for you all over again,” she confessed in a breathless whisper. It was quite a romantic idea and may seem like something from a movie that was made up, but it’s exactly how she felt. The same as she had that first night in the hotel.

  Harry couldn’t help but smile at Lily’s confession, not having expected to hear that leave her lips that night. But Harry understood exactly what she was saying; there were moments he felt exactly like that, too. He softly hummed and kissed along her jaw. “Maybe I should serenade you every night then,” he grinned and trailed his kisses until meeting her mouth once more, “I love you so, so much, darling.”

  Lily nodded ever so slightly. “I definitely think the guitar should come home with us.” Sure, he’d be busy with school again in a couple weeks, but maybe she could sneak in a few more performances before then. She returned his kiss with fervor, pouring out all her love in it. “I love you more than anything.”

  “We can take it home,” Harry promised with a smile; he’d do anything to see that look on her face again. He kneeled on the bed and cupped her face in his hands, the kiss quickly deepening once more.

  Lily returned the kiss for a few moments before she was laying back again. They’d slipped out of the role playing a bit, but it wouldn’t take much to get them back. Especially with Harry kissing her like that.

  Harry sat back while Lily got comfortable so that he could get rid of her pants as well, easier to do in that position than if he were directly above her. But once they were off and in their pile on the floor, he joined her and adjusted himself between her legs, lips back on hers.

  Lily lifted her hips to help Harry get her pants off and then she was getting comfortable on the bed, legs spread and bent for Harry to settle between so that her thighs rested against his sides. One of her hands cupped his cheek while the other went to his chest, admiring his pecs and abs. Part of her wondered how fit he was as a teen; if he went to the gym back then too. It was sometimes hard to tell in the pictures she’d seen.

  They’d always been interested and wanting to learn about each other’s lives before even their friendship began, so that night’s roleplay idea sort of gave them a way to do just that. Harry began to trail his slow, open-mouthed kisses down to her jaw and neck while his hand reached behind Lily to undo the clasp of her bra.

  Lily took this time to catch her breath a little as she arched her back up off the bed. “Wait…did grade school Harry know how to take off a bra?” she teased.

  Harry already planned to fumble with the clasp for a bit, so he just grinned down at Lily when he pulled away and his hand was behind her back for much longer than it usually would have been. As long as he could without them growing too impatient. “No, he did not,” he laughed softly, “It’s quite confusing. I don’t know how you put it on this way.”

  Lily smiled, trying to keep her back arched up the best she could. “Well, when we get dressed later, I’ll show you how girls put them on. Not as complicated as you think,” she leaned her head up to kiss his cheek. “Promise.”

  “Ohh, there’s a secret way?” Harry asked teasingly with a grin. He didn’t make them suffer too much longer before he was properly undoing her bra, sitting up straighter so that he could help get the straps down her arms.

  Lily was more than happy to lay back down, not sure how much longer she could’ve stayed like that. She helped Harry get her bra off and then she was holding her arms out for him. “Need you to warm me up. I’m getting cold,” she pouted up at him. Her words had a double meaning that Harry would definitely understand; teen Harry and present Harry both.

  Harry tossed her bra to the side and grinned at her words. “My girl is cold? Well, we’re definitely gonna have to do something about that…” He didn’t hesitate to lean down and wrap his arms around her body fully. His kisses once again started at her lips but then he led them down her neck and towards her collarbones, making love bites in every place possible where Lily wouldn’t have a difficult time hiding them.

  Lily absolutely adored when Harry completely wrapped her up in his arms. It was her favorite place in the world. She returned the kiss and couldn’t be mad when his lips wandered because it felt so good. Soft noises escaped when he found her sweet spots and she couldn’t help but roll her hips up to his, needing more when she could feel his hard-on pressing against her like that.

  Harry knew just how much Lily loved to be held and so he did it as often as he could, especially when being intimate. His kisses traveled down to her breasts, taking each nipple into his mouth while at the same time pressing himself to her core and beginning to rock his hips slowly against her.

  Lily’s mouth fell open when Harry focused on her nipples, not used to that sort of attention from him. Then add on the feel of him against her core and she couldn’t help but moan in pleasure. One of her hands reached up to find his curls, fingers gently fisting them.

  Harry took his time after noticing how much Lily liked that combination, but eventually he trailed his kisses down her belly, and slipped her underwear off in the process. They didn’t have nearly as much room as they typically did on this smaller bed, but they knew how to make any surface work for them.

  Lily wasn’t sure what Harry’s plan was. Normally he’d go down on her with no hesitation. But would teen Harry do that? He was quite outstanding at it, so it would make sense for him to have years of practicing his craft.

  Harry made some marks by Lily’s hips with his mouth before slowly sitting up to look at her. He spread her legs further and ran his hands up and down along her thighs. “May I taste you, darling?” he grinned, glancing down while he trailed one finger down along her core. He’d always been one to want to give the pleasure and to practice so that he could be good at it; that hadn’t changed.

  Harry’s question made her core ache and the way he was looking at it had her wet in no time. Let alone the touch of his finger causing her to grip at the sheets. All she could do was nod eagerly, not wanting to waste time with a response when his face could be between her legs.

  Harry didn’t need any more of an answer from Lily, taking note of her reaction. He just grinned and made himself comfy between her legs. He pressed plenty of kisses to her thighs before focusing all of his attention on her core, swiping his tongue along her how she liked.

  Lily bent her legs completely up now so Harry could have a bit more room. Or as much as she could manage on the small bed. But any worries of that went out the window when she felt his tongue, an encouraging moan easily slipping from her lips.

  Harry’s hands went to support underneath her thighs as she moved them, but once they were positioned as comfortably as they could be, his full attention was back on pleasuring Lily with his mouth. He loved how vocal she was, using that to plan his movements, and it was a major turn-on for him as well to hear her.

  One of the major perks of being at his mum’s was the fact that she could be absolutely as loud as she wanted. So, Lily didn’t hold back at all in letting Harry know how good he was making her feel. She may not have been quite so vocal as a teen, but that didn’t matter right now.

  Harry’s fingertips gently pressed into Lily’s thighs; it was a way to better manage the pleasure he got solely based off hearing her. He couldn’t wait until the day they had a house of their own just so they could be as loud as they wanted. Harry enjoyed every bit of going down on Lily, not long until he was focusing his actions on her clit.

  Lily’s back arched a little and she gasped softly. “B-babes,” she stammered. If he spent too long focusing there, she’d definitely come, but telling Harry that would be useless. He’d make her come as many times as he could, roleplaying or not.

  Going down on someone, Harry as a teen wasn’t nearly as confident or even willing to get as messy as compared to now, and both (at least he thought) were important in making the experience even more incredible for the person receiving. “Want to tell me something, darling?” he knew what her moan meant but he continued to focus on her clit and even slipped a finger inside of her easily.

  Lily managed to glance down at Harry, the sight of him clearly enjoying himself between her legs almost enough to do her in. “I was gonna say that I’ll come if you keep that up, but…your finger tells me that’s exactly what you want.” They both knew each other well enough that they clearly didn’t need to speak in moments like these.

  Harry grinned a bit; Lily was exactly right. “I think you already knew that’s what I wanted,” he murmured against her. He curled his finger repeatedly while wrapping his lips around her sensitive bud, tongue flicking against it at the same time.

  He wasn’t wrong; it was always what Harry wanted. And Lily couldn’t lie and say she didn’t want it, too. So, she gave in, hands fisting the comforter and pushing against the mattress since she couldn’t move her hips and risk messing up Harry’s rhythm. It wasn’t long at all when she reached her peak, throwing her head back with a cry of Harry’s name.

  Harry continued to work Lily just how she liked. Knowing each other as well as they did was a major perk, among others, of being together for as long as they have been. Lily squirming underneath him plus her moaning his name had his own hips shifting against the mattress to get some relief, and he kept his mouth against her until he knew she came down from her high.

  “Babes…that was out of character,” Lily panted as she came down. “There’s no way you were that good as a teen.” Or she at least hoped not. If she was settling for subpar pleasure from guys in her teen years while Harry was going around pleasuring girls like that, she’d be very upset that they hadn’t met sooner.

  Harry sat up from between Lily’s legs and let out a laugh before wiping his mouth. “Definitely not in my teens,” he grinned, shifting so Lily could rest her legs. “I’d apologize for not staying in character but I simply cannot. I enjoyed it too much.”

  Lily laughed softly and shook her head. “Wouldn’t expect anything else from you,” she teased. Her eyes were instantly drawn to Harry’s very obvious boner in his boxers and she bit the inside of her lip before peeking up at Harry. “Lovey…” she cooed. “Can I?”

  Harry smiled and sat back while he caught his breath and waited for Lily to come down fully. His gaze caught hers, causing him to grin and give a few quick nods. “Of course, lovey.”

  Lily shifted a little on the bed as she smiled shyly up at Harry. “Can you teach me?” While Harry may have broken character, Lily was completely committed to the cause. She was going to see this all the way through. That included pretending she didn’t know how to pleasure Harry.

  Harry was definitely the one who needed more cues in order to stay in character, and Lily’s expressed need to be taught did exactly that. He couldn’t help his grin that formed, his fingers slowly going to the waistband of his boxers. “Fuck, yes,” he sighed contently and ran a hand through her hair, “Do you want to use your hands or mouth, darling?”

  Lily had to try insanely hard not to smile so big at Harry’s reaction. The way he reached for his boxers so quickly showed how eager he was. “Which feels better for you?” she asked innocently, simultaneously sitting up and shifting back on the bed so they could change positions as needed.

  Harry couldn’t hide his excitement and eagerness even if he tried. Whichever one Lily picked, he knew he was in for it; she knew how to pleasure him too well. “Mouth does,” he honestly answered, sitting back on his heels. “If you’re comfortable with it,” a comment he would make both then and now.

  Lily nodded, but figured a verbal response would be appreciated as well. “Absolutely. Whatever my lovey wants,” she smiled softly at him. She shifted to her knees and leaned towards Harry, bracing her hands on his thighs so she could kiss him.

  Harry smiled softly into the kiss, always feeling so lucky around Lily. He raised himself a bit, not moving from her lips, so that he could tug his boxers down to his thighs. He went back to kneeling then and reached for one of Lily’s hands, guiding it to wrap around his length.

  Lily moved her hands out of the way so Harry could get his boxers down, completely sucked into the kiss. Her lips curved into a smile, though, when Harry guided her. She had a strong feeling that she was going to enjoy him “teaching” her. She gently wrapped her hand around his length and then trailed her kisses from the corner of his lips to underneath his jaw. “Now what, baby?” she breathed out between kisses.

  Harry wasn’t used to instructing Lily on what to do, but knew he’d enjoy it seeing how much attention she’d already doted on him and how into it she was as well. He carefully shifted to sit on his bum instead, sliding his boxers off completely and leaning back on the hand that wasn’t being used to guide Lily’s. “Can move your hand up and down,” he spoke softly, his hand resting lightly over top of hers to slowly start those movements, “Feels really good if you want to focus on the tip a little, too…same goes for your mouth when you’re ready, babe.”

  Lily lightly gripped him and followed his instructions, moving her hand up and down his length. Meanwhile, her lips trailed further down to his collarbones and chest, leaving her own marks. Her thumb gently flicked over his slit once and then a second time. “Like that?” she cooed.

  Harry moved his hand away with Lily quickly getting the hang of it, biting gently on his bottom lip. It was proving quite difficult to stay on task with how good Lily was making him feel already. His hips involuntarily shifted up towards her grasp with her thumb rubbing over his slit, switching between watching her hand and meeting her gaze with brows knit in pleasure. “Just like that, darling. Feels so good.”

  Lily quite enjoyed when Harry would buck his hips towards her hand or mouth, especially since he gave her such a hard time about doing it when he was pleasuring her. Her mouth left marks here and there as she shifted back on the bed a little the closer she got to his member. Just one mark on his thigh was all she left before finally taking his tip into her mouth and suckling while her hand continued to stroke the rest of him.

  Harry couldn’t take his eyes off of Lily, watching as she moved lower and lower down his body. His hand was on the mattress to support himself, gripping the blankets with his lips parting when he felt her mouth finally around him. “So good for me, Lily,” he hummed.

  Harry was being much more talkative and Lily liked it. Even though they had a good understanding of what each other liked, it didn’t hurt to be told every now and then. It wasn’t long before she was taking more of him into her mouth and replacing her hand.

  Harry’s breathing quickened the more she took of him into her mouth, moans leaving his lips with each pleasurable movement she gave him. Which was often. “Just like that, darling,” he swallowed thickly, gathering her hair in his fist to hold it back for her.

  Lily moaned softly around him in response, picking up her pace and doing her best to take as much of him as she could. Anything to make Harry feel as amazing as he always made her feel.

  Her moan around him and the quickened pace felt incredible and it wasn’t much longer before the pit of his stomach began to tighten. “I’m close,” he warned; he had an idea of where their night was headed and if correct, he didn’t want to come just yet.

  Unlike Lily, Harry couldn’t come in rapid succession. So unlike Harry when she told him she was close, Lily pulled off to look up at him. “Want me to stop?” she asked, even though she had a feeling she knew the answer.

  While Harry didn’t necessarily want Lily to stop, he knew they should if they wanted to easily continue with their night. He gave a nod and let go of her hair, running his hand down along her back. “Felt amazing though,” he gave her a smile.

  “Guess you’re a good teacher,” Lily smiled back as she sat up straight, admittedly happy to not be hunched over. She reached her hands above her head to stretch her back and then let them fall around Harry’s neck before she leaned in for a deep kiss.

  Harry smiled as he watched Lily stretch. “We’ll have to get you in a better position next time, yeah?” he grinned but then Lily’s mouth was on his and he was eagerly kissing back. His hand brushed along the back of her thigh before he moved it up to squeeze at her bum, loving to touch her in any way possible.

  Lily hummed against his lips, “Not used to tiny spaces.” His squeeze of her bum caused a proper moan to escape into his mouth and her arms tightened around him, bringing him closer to her body. Or as much as she could in their given position. This bed really did limit them.

  The smaller bed really did prove to be much more difficult after having gotten very used to their bigger bed at home over the years, but they made it work. He sat up to be closer to her, cupping her face in both of his hands now. “What do you think, would you like to lay back, lovey?”

  Lily merely nodded and reluctantly let go of him so they could move, laying back on the bed and already spreading her legs for him to settle between. Just from pleasuring him, she was wet again.

  Harry waited so Lily had the room to get comfortable, but joined her soon after and laid between her legs while holding himself up. “You’re so beautiful,” he smiled, lowering himself closer to be able to kiss her again.

  Lily smiled softly and cupped his cheek with one of her hands as she kissed him back. “Says the most gorgeous boy,” she murmured against his lips with a grin.

  “Now you’re just being too sweet,” Harry smiled. He kissed her softly a few more times before trailing his mouth from her jaw to her collarbones to give extra attention there, his length rubbing along her core as he moved.

  Lily moved her hand to gently card her fingers in his hair. “It’s true,” she lightly argued. She bit her lip when she felt him and didn’t hesitate to rock her hips towards his.

  Harry picked his head up. “Mine was true, too,” he smiled softly. They easily moved together with Lily’s wetness and Harry leaking; while he wanted so badly to feel her around him, he could resist for a bit to have his eyes on Lily while his tip gently nudged her clit with each motion of their hips.

  Lily groaned at the teasing, but it faded into a moan when he touched her clit. “Harry,” she whined. How could he tease like this when he was the one left on the edge?

  Harry loved watching Lily and loved how his name sounded coming as a moan from her lips. It wasn’t easy to hold off but he did like to tease. “Need something?” he raised his brow at her.

  Lily quickly reached down for his hip to hold him against her, afraid he might pull away. “You,” she gasped. “I need you inside me.” She was begging at this point, but she didn’t care. It had all been building up to this; the entire night.

  Harry got the biggest grin after he got what he wanted to hear. “That’s all you needed to say, lovey,” he gently teased with a smile. But as much enjoyment as he got out of teasing, he was more than ready to finally have her. He looked down between them and all it took was one slight shift of his hips before he was easily sliding into her, one of his hands keeping her legs spread.

  Lily’s head fell back with almost a sigh, so relieved to finally have what she wanted. She couldn’t help but lift her hips a little to meet his, wanting him to go as deep as possible.

  Harry quickly noticed Lily lifting her hips, and positioned himself so that he could thrust as deep as he could after filling her completely. “Good, lovey?” he asked looking at her.

  Lily nodded quickly, her thumb affectionately stroking along his hip. “Wonderful, love,” she assured him. He felt so good sheathed deep inside her and she knew she’d never tire of the sensation.

  “Good,” he smiled and leaned down to kiss under her ear. He set up a pace then, starting slow but consistently filling her up just how she liked. He’d never get over how good they felt together.

  Lily’s eyes fluttered closed and she held onto Harry as she moved her hips with him. It was easy for them to match each other’s pace after years of practice. They knew exactly how to increase both each other’s and their own pleasure.

  Harry wrapped his arms around Lily and held her completely against his body. They moved with each other and kept a steady pace that quickened a little as they went, moans frequently muffled by her skin as he kissed along it.

  Lily did nothing to muffle her noises, letting them fall from her lips with no regard for anyone. Not when they were in a home with no one around to complain.

  They clearly loved being in an empty house and not having to worry about being heard by neighbors, and were definitely taking advantage of it. He propped himself up on one hand to get in a better position, able to more easily thrust into Lily while getting to watch her underneath him.

  Lily opened her eyes when Harry moved and she met his gaze, a smile coming to her lips at the sight of him above her. She’d never waste an opportunity to watch. It just edged her closer and closer to her high.

  Harry smiled at the sight of Lily doing the same, bringing his hand to rest along her jaw and thumb at her bottom lip. Repeated thrusts had Harry soon at his edge, pleasure all over his face while he held off to make sure Lily was right there with him.

  Lily gave Harry’s thumb the lightest of kisses. “Let go, baby,” she encouraged him, knowing she couldn’t hold off much longer.

  Harry gave Lily a small nod. It was getting increasingly more difficult to hold off so he began to rub circles against her clit just before he was releasing into her with a moan.

  Attention to that sensitive nub sent her reeling over the edge, her fingers digging into Harry’s bicep and hip as she rode out her high with a soft cry of his name.

  Harry moved his hand to grip Lily’s side once she began to ride it out, and kept his hips moving but slower now. He leaned down to reconnect their lips, at least for a few kisses.

  Lily kissed Harry even if she desperately needed to breathe. Sacrifices had to be made sometimes. Her hips slowed and her body relaxed as she began to come down.

  They shared a few slow kisses before Harry moved to pull away, catching his breath and slowing his hips completely now as they both had come down. “I love you, darling.”

  Lily was panting softly, eyes half-lidded as she looked up at Harry with a tired smile. “Love you, babes. Always,” she breathed out, reaching up to brush his curls away from his forehead.

  Harry smiled while she brushed his hair back, pressing a kiss to the inside of her wrist afterwards. He looked down to slowly pull out of her and then sat back. They were going to have a tired ride home.

  Lily was about to pull Harry into her arms so they could enjoy their afterglow with some cuddles when she heard the front door unlocking and opening. She froze except for her head whipping to the bedroom door. “I thought your mom was gone for the whole weekend,” she whispered, looking to Harry with wide eyes.

Actually it was Anne’s neighbor coming to check on the cats. She knew Anne was leaving but Harry’s mum had forgotten to tell her that Harry and Lily were taking care of them.

  Harry was in the middle of going to lay down with Lily when he heard that same unexpected noise of the front door opening downstairs. “Uhm…I thought so too. Shit.” He didn’t panic often but the absolute last thing that he wanted was for his mum to walk into their current, very naked scene. Harry got off of the bed as quietly as he could, closing the bedroom door most of the way so they could get dressed without worry of her peeking in. “I guess, uhm… I’ll get dressed. You stay here? What do you think? Or should you come with me?”

  “I uh…” Lily glanced around for a mirror but there was nothing to show what state she was in. “Shit. Umm…I guess go with.” She sat up and began to gather her clothing as quietly as she could and then hurried to get it on. Hopefully there were no obvious love marks visible. She combed her fingers through her hair and prayed that her lips weren’t too terribly swollen.

  This had to be the worst possible time for Anne to show up, especially since she told Harry she’d be away for the full weekend. They quickly got dressed and Harry brushed a hand through his hair before fixing a few strands of Lily’s. There was nothing they could do about their flushed cheeks or swollen lips, though. “Ready?” He did one last look to make sure they didn’t forget anything, tidying up the comforter and pillows on the bed.

  Lily quietly thanked Harry. Her heart was hammering in her chest as they scrambled to cover up any evidence of their previous activities. This was a part of the roleplay that neither of them had planned on. All Lily could do was nod before following Harry out of the bedroom.

The neighbor, June, was in the kitchen feeding the cats, unknowingly, their second dinner. She startled when she heard footsteps on the stairs. “Anne?” she called out, a waver in her voice.

  They did their best to clean up before turning the lights off and heading out of the room. Harry turned from panicked to incredibly confused, though, when there was a questioning call of Anne’s own name coming from the kitchen. So… it wasn’t his mum. Harry’s brows were furrowed in confusion as he looked to Lily. He got to the bottom of the stairs and motioned for Lily to stay where she was. “This is Harry… Anne’s son.”

  Lily’s brows furrowed as well, but she didn’t argue when Harry told her to stay, even if it was a woman’s voice.

June cautiously peeked out of the kitchen before relaxing with a sigh. “Oh, Harry, dear! I didn’t know you were here.” She sent him a smile. “I’m sorry if I gave you a fright. I just stepped out in the garden and it sounded like the cats were yowling so I thought your mum must’ve forgotten to feed them before she left.”

Lily was listening from the stairs and instantly slapped her hand over her mouth in horror. That “yowling” was most likely her.

  Harry was instantly off guard the moment he realized who it was. “Oh!” He did everything he could to not laugh at the connection between his Lily and what June thought she heard. “Yeah, we just came over tonight to feed the cats. That’s okay, they’ll get a second dinner now,” Harry let out a chuckle and then looked to Lily with a nod to join him, “My fiancée, Lily, came with me, too. I don’t think you’ve met yet?”

  If Lily’s cheeks were flushed before, they were downright burning now and there was no way to hide it as she joined Harry.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I should’ve known Anne had a plan for them,” June apologized profusely. She then looked to Lily once she joined and smiled softly. “Ah. The Lily that I hear so much about. It’s so nice to finally meet you.”

Lily returned her smile despite how horribly awkward she felt in this moment. “It’s nice to meet you as well.”

June glanced towards the cats and then back to the young couple. “Oh well, let me get out of your hair. My apologies again for scaring you.”

  Harry didn’t see how flushed Lily’s cheeks were until she joined him. If he realized prior, maybe he would’ve waited until the next time they were all together to do the proper introduction. “No worries, June. We didn’t mean to scare you either,” Harry smiled and then opened up the front door for her, “I’ll watch and make sure you get over there safe.” June was appreciative, yet apologetic still, on her way out. She was the absolute sweetest older lady.

“Nice seeing you again, dear. We’ll have to plan a longer visit next time,” June chuckled sweetly and gave a wave before leaving the house.

  Lily gave her best polite smile and wave, waiting until Harry closed the door before she collapsed onto the stairs. Her face was instantly in her hands. “Oh my god,” was all she could say.

  Harry closed the door behind June, staying by until she got over to her house, before he was looking to Lily on the stairs. “Lily… She has absolutely no idea,” he walked over and kneeled next to her on one of the stairs, “Honest.”

  Lily looked up at Harry, her hands still on her cheeks and there was nothing she could do but let out a laugh of disbelief. “That almost makes it worse! Do I really sound like a hungry cat?” she giggled.

  Harry couldn’t help but laugh. “I believe she described it as a yowling cat, so…I think?” he grinned and leaned in to press kisses repeatedly to her neck, ready to tease now that he saw she was able to laugh about it too, “Lily, my little cat… rawr.”

  Lily laughed even more and scrunched up her shoulders at his kisses, leaning away from him. “It’s all your fault. If you weren’t so damn good,” she tried to argue between giggles. “Must be why Finn loves me so much.”

  Harry laughed through the kisses and eventually gave up, pulling away. “Must be. He thinks you’re one of his kind,” he joked with a smile and slowly stood up. “Wow. What a night.”

  Lily leaned back against the stairs with a sigh, shaking her head. “I knew we got too lucky with your mum being out of town so soon. Too good to be true.”

  “Hey! We did it… Just got a little surprise at the end there,” he smiled and took a seat at one of the bottom stairs and laid back, a bit uncomfortably, “I had a very good time. Did you?”

  Lily giggled softly at the obvious discomfort on Harry’s face. “Lovey, we can go cuddle somewhere since our post-sex snuggling was interrupted.” She leaned forward so she could press a kiss to his forehead. “And yes, I did. You guiding me and telling me how to pleasure you was very hot.”

  “You’re gonna have to help me up if we do that,” Harry laughed and turned his head so that he could look at Lily. “I did really enjoy that,” he admitted softly and reached for her hand.

  Lily took his hand, but then used it to help pull him up as she stood. “Come on. We can cuddle on the couch and talk about it,” she smiled fondly at him.

  Harry smiled and laced their fingers, pushing himself up from the stairs to stand. “Cannot believe our cuddle session got interrupted.” They made a stop to lock the front door before heading over to the living room, Harry getting comfortable on the couch first and making room for Lily.

  “That normally doesn’t happen unless it’s Finny complaining about something,” Lily agreed as she followed him. She allowed him to get settled and then she basically sat on top of him, needing to be as close as she could.

  Harry’s hands first went to her waist, then wrapped around her body as she settled closer to him. “So. Tell me your thoughts on the night,” he smiled, laying his head on one of the pillows.

  Lily laid her head on his shoulder where she could still see him well enough. “Besides our little…surprise…I absolutely loved it. It was fun playing innocent,” she grinned up at him.

  Harry turned his head slightly to kiss her forehead. “I agree. I had a lot of fun,” he smiled. “Anything different you liked that I should keep doing? Even if we’re not role playing? I’m always taking suggestions,” he added with a grin.

  Lily slid her arm around his waist and gently stroked her thumb back and forth as she thought. “I liked when you took my hand and moved it to wrap around you. It’s like gentle bossing,” she chuckled softly before perking up. “Ooh! And the boob thing was hot.”

  Harry nodded as he listened, making a mental note of each thing she said. “The boob thing,” he repeated with a laugh. “I never really know if you like it when I do stuff to your boobs, I guess. But you do?”

  “Well saying ‘I liked it when you sucked my boobs’ sounded kind of vulgar.” Lily pressed her lips together in thought. “Guess I never really thought of it, because mostly you just kiss them as you work your way down. But I liked today. I think the combination of your finger and mouth and just already being on edge made it feel really good.”

  Harry smiled softly and gave a nod. He always liked to hear what Lily enjoyed and if there was anything he could do differently to make it better. “I’ll do it more often then and see how you enjoy it,” he suggested, brushing his fingers through her hair.

  “Maybe not every time, but when it’s heated…yeah,” Lily decided. Her body sank more into his and she nuzzled against his shoulder more. “What about you, baby?” Not that she was sure she really did anything different besides playing clueless.

  Harry nodded. Maybe he’d just have to ask her in the moment if she were in the mood for it or not. “Uhmm,” he thought. “I really liked how vocal you were… both talking and yowling,” he couldn’t help but grin, “Cannot wait to get a place of our own for that very reason.”

  Lily pinched his side, a dramatic frown on her face at the reference to the cats. “I don’t yowl,” she muttered. She couldn’t even respond to his second statement, too upset by the idea of her sounding like that.

  Harry turned his head to look down at Lily, brushing her hair back. “You do not. I was joking,” he assured, now with a serious expression, “I love how you sound.”

  Lily fiddled with the fabric of his shirt, twisting it between her fingers. “So, about this place of our own…do we have like…an ideal timeline for that?” she asked, peeking up at him. Sure, they’d talked about moving and having an actual house, but the conversations had never really been that serious.

  Harry gently rubbed his fingers along her side. “I’m assuming it will be after I finish school and after the wedding?” He looked down at her.

  “Well yeah. I don’t want to add on the stress of house hunting on top of wedding planning and school. Just…wasn’t really sure what you had in mind,” Lily answered honestly. While it was nice to focus on the now and getting through the two major tasks they had ahead of them, Lily was also quite the planner.

  “So. I was thinking I’ll graduate, then find a job that goes with my degree to start saving up more for a house, then we get married… then we start planning the bed and breakfast, and maybe during this time, we can start looking more into where we want to live?” Harry suggested. It would be a little while still, but at least they’d have a plan in place. “Does that sound crazy?”

  Lily propped herself up a little so she could see Harry better. “Wait…you’re gonna work somewhere else?” The idea of being at the Crown without Harry was practically unfathomable after working there together for around five years now. He’d been there when she started and the two were forever linked together.

  “I figured I would after I get my degree,” Harry explained softly. “Only for a little, yeah? Until we figure out a bed and breakfast?” He knew this conversation would come but that didn’t make it any easier.

  If Lily was being honest with herself, she knew this day would come. Maybe that’s why she’d pushed so hard for the bed and breakfast early on. She didn’t quite know what to say back. Just laid her head back down as she processed it all. Harry graduated this spring so that was only a couple months away.

  “Best case scenario, Mike’s been talking to me and said if a position in my field ever opened up at the Crown, then it’s mine, but… I just don’t know how likely that is,” Harry rubbed his hand along her back, “Or I don’t have to get another job if you’d rather. I’ll stay at the Crown.” The fact that she hadn’t said anything made him feel worse.

  Harry’s last statement and the tone of his voice snapped Lily out of her spiral of thoughts and she shook her head. “No. No, no.” She tilted her head back so she could look at him and subconsciously held onto him tighter. “I’m not going to hold you back. You’re not putting in all of this work to just stay a handyman at Mike’s beck and call.” They weren’t taking on the stress and the long days, just for their lives to stay the same. The point of Harry going back to school was to make things better and create positive change. Even if him working somewhere else didn’t necessarily feel positive, Lily knew it was. “It’ll just be weird for me for a bit. Being at the Crown has always meant seeing you leaning on the front desk, but…I guess I’ll just be even more excited to get home and see you there. At least then I can actually kiss that cute grin of yours.”

  Harry nodded slowly. It would be a significant adjustment for both of them, but it was something they had to do and something that Harry wanted to do to be able to better support them. “I’ll just have to find some time to come in and stand at the front desk and bug you,” he smiled a bit, turning so his lips pressed to her forehead and he stayed there a while.

  Lily gave him a small smile in return and closed her eyes at his kiss. Then she nuzzled deeper into his neck. “I feel ridiculous being this…upset about it. It’s not like you’re taking a job hours away,” Lily fussed, feeling quite ridiculous, but she also couldn’t fight the way she felt. It was valid to some extent. She’d never been one for change.

  Harry rested his head against Lily’s and closed his eyes, still holding her securely in his arms. “I think it’s perfectly okay to be upset about this. It’ll be a really big change for us. It’ll take some getting used to,” he spoke softly, “And please talk to me if there’s times when it’s really bothering you.”

  “Guess it’s about time we worked on our codependency,” Lily sighed, trying to make light of the situation in order to save the evening. “And we’ll have to get in all the bets, deals, and shenanigans we can while you’re still an employee.”

  Harry smiled softly and gave her a gentle squeeze. “That is true. And the bets and deals we don’t fit in, we can still do at home,” he promised and then teased, “But that quickie at work thing that we always talk about… that still needs to be done while I’m an employee.”

  Lily full on buried her face into Harry’s chest, the burning coming back to her cheeks. “Harryy!!!” she giggled. She couldn’t lie though that the thought was very enticing. Sure, they’d technically had sex at work already, but never on the clock.

  Harry laughed watching Lily’s reaction and he brushed her hair out of her face. “Come onnn… you know you want to,” he encouraged with a soft grin and brows slightly raised.

  “I mean, my skirt would make it super easy, but where would we go?” Lily tried to reason. She knew Harry would have answers for her, though. There were probably several spaces he’d thought of doing it in.

  “Oh, Lily, the choices we have,” Harry smiled before he began to list, which got more ridiculous the longer he went on, “An empty guest room, I’ll clean out one of the nicer closets, the roof. So. Many. Options.”

  Lily’s brows raised, “The roof?!” Her mind had never ever been there and she couldn’t imagine it being very comfortable. But the risk of someone finding them were basically zero since no one went up there except for maintenance.

  “The roof.” Harry smiled and shifted to rest a hand underneath his head. “No people, no security cameras. Just say the word and I’ll be thereee…”

  “Nothing comfy,” Lily added to his list. “Where do you expect to do it?” It honestly sounded pretty dangerous if they weren’t careful.

  “Uhm… I haven’t thought about that part yet. Honestly didn’t think I’d get this far with you about the roof,” he laughed softly, running his free hand through her hair.

  Lily shrugged, “Well I doubt our chances of having another surprise like tonight are very high if we are on the roof. And I mean…you know Mike isn’t going to make it up there.” She smiled and even giggled softly, beyond grateful that the atmosphere had significantly changed.

  Harry laughed softly, mindlessly and gently twirling the ends of Lily’s hair. “I am one of the very few people that have keys to the roof,” he raised his brows.

  Lily hummed softly, “Guess you can scope it out and see what our options are.” She messed with his hoodie string, brushing the tip back and forth against her finger.

  “I can definitely manage that,” he watched her while trailing his fingers wherever he could touch, switching between her skin and hair, “Love you, darling.”

  Lily leaned her head back enough that she could press a kiss to his jaw. “I love you, Harry. And I appreciate everything you do for us.”

  Harry gave her a soft smile. “It is my pleasure. I appreciate everything you do and for putting up with me, too,” he grinned a little, pouting his lips for a kiss.

  Lily lifted herself up and cupped his cheek with one hand so she could give him a proper kiss. “You’re never a burden,” she assured him, nuzzling her nose against his. “I’m literally the luckiest girl in the world.”

  Harry gave her a slow kiss, his eyes closing into it. “I’m the luckiest guy,” he returned, sliding his hands down to her sides, “And soon to be, the luckiest husband in the world.”

  Harry would never let her one up him, but how could Lily complain when he was kissing her and holding her like that? She couldn’t. And so she just melted into his touch.

  Harry could never get enough of Lily, or of her kisses, or having her this close to him. He’d stay like this all day, every day if he could. He held her waist as he gave her a few more slow kisses.

  Lily returned the kisses before pulling away ever so slightly and resting her forehead against his. “We better be careful, lovey. We’re on your mum’s couch, not ours,” she smiled.

  Harry pulled away with Lily and let out a soft chuckle, letting one of his hands rest along the small of her back. “You’re very considerate,” he smiled, “Do you wanna head out soon, babe?”

  Lily leaned back from him, a hand gently resting on his chest. “Don’t know how many girls you’ve been with on this couch, but I won’t be one,” she smiled sweetly before nodding. “Finn’s probably wondering where his own dinner is and here your mum’s cats got two dinners.”

  Harry’s jaw dropped a little. “You are brutal, my Lily,” he smiled but slowly sat up with her, resting his head on her chest momentarily. “Finn’s gonna be so mad at us,” he playfully groaned.

  Lily laughed at his reaction. “It’s okay. I’ve had my share of shenanigans on my parents’ couch.” She reached up and gently scratched Harry’s scalp as she placed a kiss to the top of his head. “We’ll just have to make it up to him with extra treats.”

  “So many treats.” Once they were finally ready to move off the couch, Harry stood with Lily. He slipped on his jacket and helped Lily with hers before grabbing his keys. “Ready, love?”

  Lily thanked Harry for his help, always the gentleman, and then slipped on her shoes. “Yeah,” she nodded. “If anything, I’m ready to get home to our big bed.” As fun as it was, she much preferred having the space that their bed provided.

  Harry chuckled and walked out of the house after Lily, closing and locking the door behind them. “I never realized how much I truly love our big bed until tonight,” he smiled and got into the car after making sure Lily was in.

  Lily shook her head as she slipped in the passenger seat and buckled up. “How on earth did we do it as teens? No wonder it was so damn awkward.”

  Harry started the car, and turned up the heat, before buckling his seatbelt. “Oh, yours was awkward?” he joked with a smile, beginning to drive. He was only teasing; he remembered there being plenty of awkward moments.

  Lily scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Harry Styles, don’t you dare act like sex wasn’t awkward for you as a teen. You even admitted earlier that you cheated and did things you didn’t used to,” she eyed him.

  Lily always had Harry laughing and this time was no different. “I was joking!” he grinned, eyes on the road as he drove, “I also wasn’t as tall or like, big back then so I feel like the bed fit better.”

  Lily shifted a little in her seat to face him more and rested her hand on his leg for a change. “Mm…so teen Harry wasn’t a gym rat then,” she guessed. “No beautiful pecs for me to cup in my hands?”

  Harry smiled and laid his hand over Lily’s. “Nope. No boobs for you to hold yet,” he answered with a small shake of his head, “I would run and go to the gym occasionally but that’s it.”

  Lily pursed her lips, “But you could’ve still manhandled me, right? I mean…adding on that I was smaller as well.”

  “I think so, yeah. I had some arm to me,” Harry grinned as he glanced over at Lily, “Would you have broken up with me right now if I said no?”

  “Oh, one hundred percent. Engagement would be off if you told me teenage Harry who didn’t know teenage Lily couldn’t manhandle me,” she nodded, her face as serious as she could manage.

  “Oh, right. I wouldn’t expect anything else. All good.” Harry nodded, playing along with the seriousness. “Only makes sense,” he said under his breath.

  Lily laughed softly and then rested her head back against the seat. Her thumb absently stroked back and forth along Harry’s leg as he drove.

  Harry smiled. They were clearly still worn out, talking some for the rest of the ride but they were okay with it being quieter too. He parked when they got home and Harry went over to Lily’s side of the car, taking her hand before walking up to the door.

  Lily interlaced her fingers with Harry’s and pressed a kiss to his shoulder as they walked up to the door. Once inside, Finn greeted them just as expected. Lily skipped taking off her coat and shoes so she could give the cat his dinner. “Here you go, baby,” she cooed as she poured the cup of food into his bowl.

  Harry locked the front door and slipped off his shoes once they were inside. “Thanks for feeding him, lovey.” Of course, as soon as his food was down, Finn was interested in that and only that, so Harry would have to give him some attention later. For now, he went to their bedroom to change out of his clothes and do his routine in the bathroom.

  Lily shut the kitchen light off, knowing Finn wouldn’t mind, and went back to drop off her coat and shoes. Then she was behind Harry, ready to cuddle in bed in some fresh pajamas.

  Their timing was perfect with Harry being done in the bathroom just after Lily walked in. He slipped into bed, pulling the covers back for him and Lily while he waited.

  Lily grabbed her pajamas and took them with her to the bathroom. She did her business and then her nightly routine. When she came out, she dumped her clothes in the hamper before crawling into bed with Harry, letting out a content sigh as she settled down at his side.

  Harry wrapped his arms around Lily once she joined him, tugging the blankets up over them as well. “Hi lovey,” he smiled tiredly and gently pulled her into him.

  Lily slipped her arm around Harry as well and tucked herself closer against him. “Hi, my baby,” she murmured softly. “Quite the evening, huh?”

  “It was, wasn’t it?” Harry smiled and rested his head against her shoulder. “I had a really fun time. Tuckered out now, though.”

  Lily began to run her fingers through his hair. “Me, too.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Goodnight, love.”

  Lily’s fingers in his hair had his eyes automatically closing, adding to his sleepiness. “Goodnight. Love you so much,” he told her, already drifting off.

[lesbiandeerstory]

it’s wednesday my dudes

and it’s been a bit of an uneventful week so here take a look at one of my homestuck ocs

anyway the development update!

last time on dragonball z i talked about FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY and how the fights in your deer friend were sorta lacking in purpose, like they needed an underlying common thread aside from “fight scenes are cool” (tho they are very cool)

on that note, i think i’ve put together somthn that’s RLY GOOD. i have an idea for the theming, and i’ve created a system to support it, and put together a structure that will act as like a guideline for how i write the individual fights.

the structure is good but still mostly untested; i did a little bit of choreography with it and it turned out FINE but i was not doing my best work that day for reasons it was just one of those days.

i have a better idea of how i wanna do the ydf choreography going forward, but i haven’t actually written any of it yet. frankly i should probably do that next considering some of the stuff i’m about to say in this dev post lmao.

as for the system, i think it too is gonna be super fuckin sweet. it THANKFULLY does not at all replace the magic or class systems i already revealed, it actually fits into them like another layer AND!!! has some fun implications for deer culture, history, philosophy and lore. which i am very excited about.

i still need to work out some kinks with it and get it peer reviewed, but i think i have the bones of somthn rly good that i’m excited to share eventually.

THAT SAID, moving onto SCRIPT PROGRESS, this part of the post is not quite as positive!

i had built up a decent amount of momentum with writing scripts, but i had to stop writing scripts so i could do the epilogue chapter outlines and storyboards, and i am now paying dearly for that loss of momentum, tho other factors are also grinding my productivity to a halt.

first of which is just that my outline and storyboard that i had made is becoming less and less useful as i progress thru the story and make improvisational changes, which is a pain in my ass!!!! certain things i wrote in the storyboard maybe don’t make sense with how characters ended up being written, and sometimes u will look at somthn u had planned and realize u did that thing already and doing it again would be redundant.

such is the normal pitfalls of writing a narrative, but it is still a pain in my ass that’s making the script writing process more difficult. i ended up skipping chapter 7 entirely bcuz what i had planned for it was no longer viable, and i want to have a better sense of the payoffs that need to be set up in that chapter before i write the setup in that chapter.

so now i’m working on chapter 8 and it is slooooooow gooooooing. partly for the reasons described above, partly bcuz honestly i’ll be entirely real with u some of the aspects of this story are just kinda unpleasant to write about. i had to write a whole scene about centrist philosophy last night it was rough. and on top of all of that it’s just been a weird week in the ol’ personal life. it’s just been one of those weeks!

SO! what’s on tap for this upcoming week

well honestly, i think i should consider focusing on the fight choreography. having EVERYTHING done that i need to get done that isn’t scripts, so that i can focus on doing JUST scripts and not have to keep stopping and starting, is probably a good idea. but i have to actually write some fights to make sure the choreography is doing what i need it to, which means i guess i could write some choreography and then write the fights right after??? just like, out of order with the rest of the chapters??? ehhh maybe.

i should also consider editing my storyboards a bit now that i think about it. if the current storyboards aren’t helping me as much as they used to, it might be worth looking at my current boards and fixing them up a bit to fit with the way that i’m currently writing, and the story that i’m currently telling.

if i did all this reorganization, what with the storyboards and\or the choreography, and also took the time to write scripts a little bit slower to build back some momentum (instead of trying to go from 0 to 100 as i often do and is a tactic i DON’T RECOMMEND), i probably won’t be able to get the scripts finished by the end of october buuuut could probably manage to get them wrapped up by mid-november which is frankly just as good.

so this post is less “here’s what i’ve done, here’s what i’m doing” and more “here’s what i have and haven’t done, and here’s what i’m thinking i might do” but hey sometimes that’s how it is with game development!

[haidadailylife]

Haida News!

As the new term begins and things get back on track, Haida in Shenzhen branch caught up with Sam, our new foreign teacher, to hear what he has to say about Shenzhen and Haida.

Q: What have been the positive experiences so far in Shenzhen?

A: I’ve been in Shenzhen for over a month now and have already had a lot of positive experiences. I love exploring new places, so I’ve really enjoyed walking around Shenzhen, especially the many parks which have some spectacular views over the city. Meeting new people has also been really cool. Shenzhen is a city full of people from all over China, and also all over the world, so it has been really interesting getting to know all different kinds of people. My Mandarin isn’t the best, but thankfully lots of people here are very helpful and willing to help me practice.

Q: How do you feel Haida have been when facing difficulties with the transition to China?

A: Before I found Haida, I was having trouble getting into China but the company was extremely helpful and efficient in assisting me getting a visa and other documents required to enter the country. They were with me every step of the way before I left the UK and continued to always be there to help me while I traveled via Hong Kong into Shenzhen. It was quite a stressful time for me but in the end everything went smoothly. While I was in quarantine in Shenzhen, the company helped me communicate with the hotel staff and were waiting for me after checkout. I can’t imagine how tough it would have been without Haida’s support. Since leaving quarantine, the staff at Haida have been really welcoming and supportive and, so far, I couldn’t be happier with my experience.

Q: What are your first impressions compared to life back home?

A: This is my second time in China so I had an idea of what to expect but there are still lots of things to get used to. Firstly, the size of the city is crazy and there are so many people. It’s a fantastic place for people who like the hustle and bustle of a lively city. It feels so alive when you go for a walk in the evening: there are people playing music, dancing on the street, eating, hanging out, and exercising. I can’t believe how safe it feels walking around late at night. And there are shops everywhere! It’s amazing how many places there are to eat, which makes it super difficult to decide where to go, but thankfully the food is really good at most of the places I’ve been to. Another thing is the bikes and mopeds absolutely everywhere!

Here is the first part of the interview with Sam. We will share the rest part next week. Haida works with schools in Shenzhen and Hangzhou. Feel free to contract Haida if you are interested in the teaching positions in Shenzhen or Hangzhou.