#Thats not my intention i do genuinely love any and all asks people send me 😭 thank you for reading through my tamers posts as well!!

[kideternity]

Hey, I just read through all lf ypur Tamers posts and concerning your dislike of Ryo (totally valid btw) you're not gonna believe this, he wasn't even a Tamers character to begin with. Ryo was actually a character of the adventure canon that got his own side game series n the wonderswan, you can even see him during an episode of 02 during Ken's flashback so yeah canon, he literally was only added to boost ratings since the producers thought that having a familiar face would entice views.

So yeah, that's the main reason he was included, and yes, Hirokazu and Guardromon totally should have been Justimon.

YEAH I saw on the wiki myself that Ryo was originally a wonderswan character! I do wanna give the benefit of the doubt that I'm sure in the actual wonderswan games Ryo (+ Cyberdramon) are much more interesting compelling characters by virtue of the games actually you know, being about them, but in tamers his presence just overall made the writing of the show. Worse. If he had shown up only for the first two episodes he appears in I would have thought Wow, Cool cameo! But once he became a recurring character that just felt so incredibly forced into every scene he was in….. it annoyed me!

There is a beautiful alternative world out there where Hirokazu and Guardromon were Justimon together and the show is better for it

[anchorandrope]

leaving jokes aside, do you actually care about anti-larry and/or anti-larries (in a good way)? like would you forgive them for the harassment if they genuinely ask you to do it?

hii !! well, actually i don't have a short answer for this question so i'll try to make it as concise as i can.

first of all, i do believe that people can change their mind after getting educated and as they grow up, so if a 15 y/o in 2014 told me to kms now comes and ask me for forgiveness, if i see that they are actually sorry i definitely would forgive them. i don't own them nothing, im well aware i do not need to forgive people to find peace to myself, to have self-esteem and love, i believe humans do not need to forgive to heal in any kind of way. being that said, i know that people feel like asking for forgiveness is a good way to heal themselves and if so, i would be really happy to forgive.

if you had asked me this same question a couple of years ago, im sure my answer would be different, but since i took a step back in the fandom and i worked on myself, i realised that even though its totally unacceptable to harras and send death threats to someone, no matter your age or life situation, its absolutely unworthy to reply every anonymous ask, to try to ask for respect, to be kind and to try to make them understand that what they are doing is wrong.

of course you are allowed to be mentally drained after harassment because it can hurt, specially if you are struggling on a daily basis. but at the end of the day, anonymous asks and blogs here or on other social media are people who don't know you and if they believe they do only because you posted something on the internet they didn't like they are clearly the problem. this might be the hardest thing to say but online or irl you will find people who dislike you and that's okay. we are billions of souls on this planet, of course some of them are gonna be mean, and it sucks! but what you have to try to do is to don't take hate that personal. people who correct your errors and try to explain you respectfully why you are mistaken are usually good people or people who love you. people who call you horrible stuff without any intention of making you change but to make you feel bad are the people who you don't have to pay attention to. people reflect their insecurities, problems, etc on others all the time (mostly unconsciously) and if you ever try to explain them that fact, they will get defensive.

your time and energy are something precious, you will never live the same second two times. try to work on yourself, try to ask yourself what do you want to invest your time and energy into. is a tumblr anon who call me stupid worth it of taking my energy and time? is it useful to spend hours worrying about anonymous messages on the internet? one day you will understand that no, its never worth it. try to pay more attention to people who love and appreciate you, who correct you for your good and who are always by your side.

my recommendation is to hold people accountable for what they did, never justify what they have done to you (or anyone) but always try to think with kindness and not with hate. of course the person who sent you a copy-paste hate message on your askbox is an idiot, what im trying to say is that maybe and just maybe that idiot is having thr worst time of their lives and hating on everyone is the only way to feel relief, which it is unacceptable but, in my opinion, thats what it makes me feel in peace with myself, because i know that im not the problem. and honey, i can assure you that is nothing more comforting than it wasn't your fault.

i hope that i explained myself the way i want to be understood, if not please let me know how can i help you to understand this better.

and lastly, i want to say something that i know that a lot of people wouldn't like, but i believe its time to be said. giving attention to people who hates you its only gonna make them wanting to hate you more and more and starting hating on others. so if you actually care if making this or any fandom/community an better place to express our interests in a mature and pleasant way, you need to stop answering hate anons. it might be "funny" to you, but think of others. what if we all collectively posted every hate we receive? do you believe that your twitter timeline or tumblr dash is gonna be full of fan art and fics? you are fooling yourself if so. is it worth it posting triggering stuff and stuff that may affect others mental-health? yeah that's what i though.

i wish from the bottom of my heart, peace, health and love to everyone single soul out there who is struggling with hate. and if you keep sending hate being an adult, not knowing if you are sending that to a minor or a suicidal person, i wish you get the karma you need. you cannot convince me that you have the "dream life" you claim to have because if so, you won't be hating on tumblr blogs by the year of 2024. you are, in fact a pathetic piece of shit who sadly believes that insulting anonymously is gonna make this a better world ;)

[nataliaphantomhivesblog]

Newsflash: Dazai cares for Chuuya

Before reading any further, I will be talking about stormbringer, so spoilers ahead!! Translation credits go out to: @popopretty on tumblr, make sure to give this kind human some love and appreciation<3

Also if you want to read the first few chapters of stormbringer: @buraihatranslations is currently translating it, give them much love and appreciation as well, they deserve it!!

Honestly, I have been so obsessed with Soukoku lately and I think the reason behind this is because when it comes to Soukoku, their feelings for each other are not as easy to grasp as love or hate, it is much more profound than that. There is care, hurt, trust, resentment, companionship, bitterness, and consideration...And ironically enough, thats just the tip of the iceberg.

If we break down their individual feelings towards each other, it will be easier to understand their bond.

On Chuuya's end, his feelings are much more clear due to his expressive personality. He wears his emotions on his sleeves, he can try and hide what he feels towards Dazai but his true feelings tend to unravel easily.

He sometimes tries to mask his feelings towards Dazai by throwing insults, but his facial expressions are enough to contradict what he is saying.

Chuuya's feelings towards Dazai can be easier to comprehend. He obviously feels this certain betrayal due to the fact Dazai left the Port Mafia. Not to mention, he and Dazai have always had a rivalry relationship.

In the Soukoku wiki page, it is stated that Chuuya is aware of Dazai not experiencing a proper childhood, therefore allows him to act as childish as he can and lets him tease him relentlessly. I don't know how reliable this source is, but either way I think its worthy enough to add.

In the Dragon head conflict when Dazai was out of sight, Chuuya told Mori to forget about Dazai. That was until Hirotsu mentioned a microscope, Chuuya quickly realizes it was code language because he remembered a previous conversation where Dazai says he needs a microscope to be able to see Chuuya properly.

The moment he figured out it was a tracker, Chuuya did not hesitate to jump in and rescue Dazai. But here is the catch: No one but Chuuya knew about the microscope, if Chuuya really didn't care for Dazai he wouldn't have mentioned the microscope and kept all this under wraps, leaving Dazai in a mess.

Chuuya trusts Dazai with his life. He never hesitates to leave his life on Dazai's hands when it has to come to it. Chuuya and Dazai have known each other for years, for Chuuya to be able to trust Dazai that much is because Dazai also cares for him too, right?

The answer here is yes, Dazai cares for Chuuya. In a superficial level, it doesn't seem like Dazai truly cares, but I can assure you that he does care for him. Weather you like to think of his care in a platonic or romantic manner, the care Dazai has for Chuuya is undeniable and extremely significant for Dazai's character.

I think that stormbringer establishes this idea even further. There is one specific moment in this light novel that shows his genuine concern towards Chuuya's well being:

"There is one problem." Dazai cut off his sentence hesitantly. "It has nothing to do with the sucess rate of the plan. It is a matter we have to overcome in the end but... It may require some time to decide."

"What's with you?" Chuuya raised his eyebrows at Dazai. "Stop dramatizing it. Just hurry up and say it."

"I said earlier about this control spell to open the 'gate' that is used to reset the command inside Chuuya, right?" Dazai spoke with a strangely restrained voice. "If we use that, the logs of the command formula that were written in the past will be erased. That means...even if the memory erasure was used on Chuuya in the past, the traces of that will be erased as well."

"What?"

"I told you before right, the memory erasure command. The only way we can confirm if Chuuya is human or not is to check the history to see if the memory erasure command was ever used. It means..." Dazai looked at Chuuya with eyes that he had never looked at him before. Those eyes were serious. "If we use that control spell, the method to confirm if Chuuya is an artificial personality created by a string of code, or just a normal human being, will be lost. For good."

The time had stopped.

Chuuya opened his eyes and looked towards Dazai but his eyes were not seeing anything. The wind blew between the two of them. Even so, Chuuya did not blink.

"Verlaine became like that because he was tormented by the curse that he was not human. That only is enough of a big problem. The matter of being human or not." Dazai looked at his pocket watch, gave it a glance and continued. "I can delay the time until the plan starts for about two minutes. I will send an order for my men to wait... You can think about it alone for a while. Cuz I guess its hard for you to collect your thoughts with me around."

Having said so, Dazai turned away and walked down the stairs, leaving Chuuya alone.

Dazai fixated in his pocket watch. Two more minutes. Too short for a life decision. But he couldn't afford more than that.

Inside Dazai's head, he was planning a procedure to swith to an alternative plan in case Chuuya refused, at a tremendous speed.

This section in stormbringer is personally one of my favorites, this is a very rare moment between both of them, but especially for Dazai. Like I stated earlier Chuuya wears his emotions on his sleeves, therefore even if he tries to mask his care with insults, its still painfully noticable that he genuienly looks after Dazai. Chuuya also sometimes show a vulnerable side of himself to Dazai, especially after using corruption.

Dazai on the other hand is extremely unreadable. Its hard to understand his true intentions and if he really cares for people or only sees them as a pawn. In this moment though, Dazai was being painfully genuine. Dazai literally prioritized Chuuya over the mission. He was already thinking of coming up with an alternative plan just in case Chuuya refused, obviously the sucess rate of the alternative plan would be lesser than the actual plan Dazai had in mind, he choose Chuuya's wellbeing over a mission.

In this section, Dazai wasn't throwing jokes or witty remarks, he was being serious. Because Dazai knows how desperately Chuuya wants to be human. He knows how important being human is to Chuuya.

Dazai wasn't manipulating Chuuya by giving him the chance to decide, we can see that Dazai was literally showing a lot of hesitation when mentioning this to him, we also get to see what Dazai was thinking, and we can tell he wasn't thinking about manipulative his movements in any way. All of this wasn't coming out of manipulation, it was coming out of pure care.

After six steps, Dazai reached the stair. He stepped on the stair and started walking down. Three steps down the stair, he heard a *clang*, a cool sound of metal echoing behind him. It sounded like the metal was kicked by the sole of someones shoes. The moment Dazai realized what the sound was, Dazai turned around in surprise.

There was already no one at the top.

Dazai was dazed for a moment, then he loosened his lips and laughed.

"Trying to act cool, huh?" Dazai smiled, both annoyed and relieved. Then he turned on his radio and sent out his order. "Chuuya has sallied, everyone get ready for battle."

I personally love this part so much, relief washed over Dazai the moment he noticed that Chuuya was going to go through with the first plan, which proves my point that he wasn't manipulating him and how Dazai was under a lot of stress because he wasn't sure if the alternative plan would be as effective as his original one.

Yet he still was willing to go through the alternative plan if Chuuya refused, because Dazai values him and regards his wellbeing.

Dazai was being surprisingly gentle in this section, he was being honest. There was no ulterior motive behind his actions here, just a boy looking after his partner.

"So i'm going to send an order to my men to prepare for action... Is that okay?"

"Of course it's okay." Chuuya turned to Dazai. "Why are you asking me such a thing?"

Dazai didn't answer right away.

That was an unusual expression. It's like he was trying to say something, but he had to arrange the words in his head to decide where he should start. An expression he rarely shows.

This was right before Dazai drops the bomb to Chuuya about the memory erasure command. He was even asking for Chuuya's opinion on sending his men to get ready, this was the first time Dazai ever showed actual concern without masking it with witty remarks. You can tell that Chuuya isn't used to this.

And when you think about it, when Dazai and Chuuya have missions together, Dazai always uses corruption as a last resort and he always allows Chuuya to make the decision if they will be using it or not.

I personally belive that the main reason Chuuya trusts Dazai with using corruption is because The Sheep used to exploit his powers too much, but Dazai leaves the decision to use corruption up to Chuuya. Dazai understands the physical and mental toll corruption takes on Chuuya and therefore leaves the choice up to him.

Theres another section in stormbringer that I really enjoy, it doesn't necessairly show solicitude but I still think this should still be taken into consideration:

"You seem pretty confident that Chuuya is human, don't you?"

"I am," Dazai laughed with a sigh. "There is no way a man-made code could create such a personality that I detest so much."

Throughout the whole story, Dazai is more than determined that Chuuya is human. The main reason Dazai finds Chuuya so intresting is because of how frighteningly human Chuuya can be, because of the fact that he always wears his emotions on his sleeves, something Dazai rarely does himself. Thats personally a nice sentiment from Dazai's end, even when Chuuya struggles completely when it comes to believing in his own humanity, Dazai still can't help but see him as a human being.

Also I am aware that Dazai literally said he detests Chuuya here but he also sighed and laughed while stating this, showing us that he isn't being serious about hating him.

And its not only in stormbringer were he shows his concern towards Chuuya. In fact, in this following manga pannel Dazai is telling Chuuya that if he is willing to listen him, he will stage his own escape so that Chuuya doesn't get punnished.

Honestly, if Dazai didn't care enough for Chuuya, he wouldn't have mentioned this to him. Chuuya didn't care enough to realize that he literally unwillingly freed Dazai which would get the pm mad at him, so the fact that Dazai is literally helping him out is no doubt out of care for him. If Dazai didn't have any regard for Chuuya he would've not staged his escape or mentioned anything to Chuuya, eventually incriminating him.

There are many misconceptions when it comes to Dazai's feelings towards Chuuya, people think that he doesn't care for him due to the fact that he left the Port Mafia, leaving Chuuya behind. But heres the thing: Dazai's intentions had nothing to do with Chuuya. He left the organization for his own good, he left it to fullfill Oda's wish.

"If Dazai cared for Chuuya then why didn't he take Chuuya with him?" the reason is simple, he knows how much the PM means to Chuuya. In stormbringer it is shown that Chuuya feels as if his humanity is attached to the people he is loyal to, in this case its the port mafia. Verlaine wanted to get rid of the pm because he believed that the pm is what kept Chuuya's humanity, eventually making Chuuya believe that he is only human if he stays loyal to the pm. Dazai knows this. Thats exactly why he didn't take Chuuya with him or even explains to Chuuya why he left, he knows it would be selfish to basically rip Chuuya's sense of humanity apart.

I have a feeling that if Dazai told Chuuya about the real reason he left the Port Mafia, Chuuya will not only feel conflicted about being in the pm, but he would also have an inner conflict with himself as a human.

People also think Dazai may not really care for him because of the fact that after the fight against Lovecraft he actualy deserted him, maybe that part was truly just supposed to be seen as simple humor, but either way I want to talk about it. Chuuya's only request to Dazai was to take him back to base safe, so why did Dazai leave Chuuya behind?

I mean he has carried Chuuya back to saftey before with no problem, for example in stormbringer when Chuuya uses corruption for the first time Dazai carries him back to the billiards bar and not to the mafia’s base so that he could say goodbye to his passing friends.

The reson behind this is because Mori needs to know that unlike Dazai, Chuuya is absolutely loyal to him. Leaving Chuuya the way he did will make Mori believe that these two really are at each others throats and that Dazai is insignificant to Chuuya. Making it seem that for Chuuya, the mafia comes first before anything else.

Therefore Dazai established Chuuya's saftey within the mafia since not only does Mori want these two to be hostile with each other, he doesn't want Chuuya to eventually turn against him if he truly found out more about Dazai's true reason of departure. Then again, this isn't canon but it is a logical assumption.

Not to mention that although Dazai did leave him behind, he folded Chuuya's coat and hat before taking his leave. There is also an an extra chapter where Ozaki Kouyou was talking with Chuuya but when he left he forgot his coat, which made Kouyou came across the coat; where she noticed a badge sewed inside saying "Name: Hatrack", she smiled fondly thinking to herself that some things just never change, in this case, Dazai and Chuuya's bond.

Dazai literally took his time to sew this into his coat just to tease him, it was a simple gesture but it shows us how their dynamic will never change. No matter what these two go through, they will always share a bond that consists on teasing, trust and underlying care.

All of this actually makes that theory of Dazai planting a bomb under Chuuya's car for the sole reason that the PM doesn't find Chuuya as an acomplice who aided Dazai on his escape much more feasable.

For Dazai to just plant a bomb under Chuuya's car with no motive makes no sense because if Dazai's true intentions were to simply mess with Chuuya, he would've most likely made it clear at that time. Dazai always has an underlying motive behind his actions, and in this case it is very likely that he did that for Chuuya's sake.

Don't get me wrong, I am aware that the bomb incident could've just been a comedic moment and I shouldn't look too much into it, but there is still a posibility, right?

These two hold so much trust and care for one another, yet they also hold a lot of bitterness and resentment. In the end the good aspects of their dynamic outweighs the bad.

Either you see these two in a platonic or romantic way, you can't tell me that their bond isn't significant.

Thank you so much for reading!! I wanted to talk about this for a while because I feel like people misinterpret Dazai's feelings towards Chuuya a lot so I hope this clears up things a bit<3

[sweet-seishu]

hate to love you

chapter thirteen

a/n: i'm sorry this is so bad, but this is still a ran x reader so thats more the focus ofc. i'll just let you all leave this date up to imagination since this is short af

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"Hey Mikey!" You smiled, getting into the back of that car.

"You look pretty." He told you, a small smile on his face.

"Thanks." You blushed, your mind immediately going to Ran and his compliment. You pushed the thought out of your head before looking back to Mikey. "You look great to."

He sat there in a dark blue button up with black dress pants, his beautiful platinum hair fell in his face as he looked at you, thanking you quietly.

"So where are we going?" You asked.

"Thought we could do dinner?"

"Perfect." You smiled, looking out the window.

Mikey decided to take you to a nice Italian restaurant, making you smile when you saw there was barely any people there, and there was a beautiful table reserved just for you.

"Wow." You smiled. "This is beautiful Mikey."

"Anything for my favorite girl." He smirked, pulling out your chair and allowing you to sit.

"Be careful, you say things like that and I may jump your bones." You winked

"You always say that, yet it's never actually happened." Mikey raised a brow at you.

The waiter came by, pouring you each a glass of wine before leaving you to decide on your order.

"Well I'm not just going to do that Mikey, not unless you actually wanted to."

"You know why I won't? Be with you I mean." Mikey asked. You shook your head, sipping the sweet wine before looking into Mikey's dark eyes.

"I've always wondered, but to be fair, most of it was just for fun. I did always kind of hope it would work one day though." You chuckled.

You smiled as the waiter came back, taking your orders before refilling the wine glasses.

"I'm going to be honest with you, when I say I have genuinely thought about it." Mikey said. "But somethings and someone just keeps me from doing so."

"Wait what?" You asked.

"Sweetheart, you can't honestly tell me that Ran isn't on your mind most of the time, and you can't tell me that you don't have any feelings for him."

"Mikey-"

"And on top of that, I am honestly just to busy for any type of relationship right now, with bonten becoming larger, more deals coming in, I don't want to neglect you, or make you feel unwanted." Mikey said with a small smile. "I do love you, and I cherish you very much, but you know we won't work, and I dont want to hurt you."

You looked down at your hands, biting your lip as you took in his words. Even Mikey could see right through you.

"It's funny, I had every intention on trying to make you fall in love with me tonight." You chuckled. "But I do understand where you're coming from."

"Did you have a plan to make me fall in love with you?" Mikey smiled.

"Uh– not really?" You chuckled. "I was just going to hope for the best, try to flirt with you way more than normal, and hope you'd give in to it."

Mikey laughed quietly, watching you as you chugged back the wine. "You are something else y/n."

"I know." You smiled

Dinner went by too quickly for your liking. Even though you knew you had no chance, you genuinely likes spending time with Mikey. You loved hearing him talk about his life, what led him to create such a organization like Bonten.

You didn't want the night to end, you were having so much fun, but you also knew you had a job to focus on come tomorrow.

That and you really couldn't get Ran out of your head for some stupid reason.

"So, you nervous about the job?" He asked you as he walked you to your penthouse door, your arm looped through his.

"A little." You said honestly. "I've never done a job over seas, I'm just– I'm scared I'm going to fuck it up."

"I wouldn't send you if I didn't think you were capable. I trust you y/n."

"But yet you had to send Ran with me?" You asked, stopping when you got to your door.

"Ran, surprisingly enough, does know what he's doing y/n, I trust him to keep you safe."

"I'm just worried it will be like the last time..."

"It won't, don't worry I had a chat with him already." Mikey reassured you. "Now you should get some rest, you have a flight tomorrow."

"Yeah, okay." You pouted. "I had fun Mikey, thank you for a great night."

He smiled, moving to kiss your cheek softly, causing your face to heat up.

"We should do this again, it was nice." He told you.

"Anytime." You smiled. "You know I'll drop whoever I'm with for you, whenever you need me."

"Keep saying that, and I may just have to keep you to myself." Mikey chuckled.

"It's all part of master plan." You smirked.

"I couldn't do that to Ran, no matter how much he pisses me off."

You heart stuttered at the mention of the older Haitani, your body suddenly feeling like it was on fire.

"Goodnight sweetheart, we'll talk tomorrow."

"Night Mikey." You said softly, watching him walk away before opening the door.

You sighed, running a hand through your hair as you went to undress. What was with you? Why couldn't you get that idiot out of your head?

taglist: @the-psyco-simp @matsunosan @captainsbaby @themagiacademy @nalyana @q-the-rockaholic @guesswhatiamabookworm @reiners-milkbiddies @sanzuharuchiyoswife @wakasagurl @fallensuguru @gulfkfl @tokyometronetwork @gabytodd @shuujin @toshikamo @hana-patata @bluppen @simplyhaikyuu @-miiss-orihara- @bontensbabygirl

[renjuseyo]

can i pls request Lucas x male reader where Lucas is the popular kid and reader is really quiet, but lucas likes reader because of readers personality(not like other guys/girls who tries their best to let them get noticed by lucas) and Lucas always tease and talk to reader because of that. maybe add a scenario where reader gets bullied on why he's dating Lucas and Lucas comes in and comforts reader. Thats all thank you!💖

up to you ; lucas

group: nct / wayv

pairing: wong yukhei / reader (male)

synopsis: yukhei is your school’s most popular heartthrob, and you’re the quiet wallflower. can things be any more obvious?

genre: fluff

warning: bullying

i hope this satisfies you anon! personally i lost inspo so it’s not that good... i apologize :,) also i just realized how long my fics are, so oops? as always, feedback is greatly appreciated! <3

you’re in the library shelving piles of books into their respective slots, gently humming to yourself as you drum your fingers on the spine of a book. the library is silent for the most part, save for the low buzz of the fan by the entryway and your soft humming. it’s quiet and cozy, just how you like it.

the quiet ambience is slightly ruined by the loud rattling from the left. it startles you, but luckily you remain your balance and don’t plummet to your demise. when you look towards the source of the noise, you see yukhei standing by the bottom of the ladder, flashing you his signature rectangular grin. “hi (name)!” he chirps, waving at you. a warmth blossoms within you, but the chorus of agitated shushes distracts you. he cowers within himself, sending other students an apologetic look. “sorry,” he whispers.

“i didn’t expect to see you here,” you reply, turning your attention back to the books in your arms. there’s no malicious intent behind your words, because you genuinely would’ve thought he would spend his free period playing basketball with his friends, not in the library.

but he gasps with loud, feigned hurt. “i’m offended! just because i prefer sports over school doesn’t mean i won’t come in and pick up a book every now and then!” another round of shushes ripples throughout the room, though this time they’re paired with irritated glares. you’re among one of them.

“please be quiet, we’re in a library,” you remind him, stepping down a few rungs. he sends you an apologetic look, one that reminds you of a kicked puppy. “if you’re looking to borrow textbooks, the librarian’s up front. if not, you’re welcome to browse through.”

“nah, i already got all of my textbooks. i just came in to see you~” he winks, which you respond with by rolling your eyes. you promptly ignore the butterflies in your stomach. “oh come on, don’t be so mean. why don’t you ever react?”

“why should i? all you ever do is tease me,” you deadpan. you finish categorizing the last book and begin climbing down the ladder to grab a new pile. yukhei seems to notice this, eagerly scooping up a pile to hand to you. it doesn’t quite work out though, because his massive hands accidentally push them to the floor, and he winces, knowing what to expect. along with other disturbed patrons, you glare at him. you bend down to pick up the books, sighing. “you know, you’re lucky i haven’t kicked you out yet.”

“sorry,” he apologizes, sending you a sheepish smile. “sometimes i have no control over this massively tall body. i guess being short like you would be better, huh?”

for your age, you stand at a relatively average height. but yukhei is a little taller than most, standing at six feet. it really isn’t that big of a difference, but he still teases you for it all of the time.

you’re about to retort when you see two figures lurking by the other side of the shelf. you sigh, already knowing what to expect. something like this happens nearly every two days. “two of your so-called fans at nine o’clock.”

yukhei turns to face that direction and the two figures jump in surprise, confirming your suspicions. you see two girls step out from behind the shelf, timidly staring at you two. you recognize one of them, yujin, from your history class. “hi lucas,” the girl greets. it’s the nickname he goes by, the one that everyone is familiar with. you’re one of the few people that uses his real name, though.

you don’t even blink at the lack of acknowledgement. you’ve never really talked to yujin, save for the time she shared her notes with you. a real life saver. “oh hey yujin! is there something you need?” he asks. she looks pleasantly surprised that he remembers her.

you see the girl beside yujin, probably her wing woman, ushering her to hand him what appears to be a letter. not wanting to disturb the love confession that’s to come, you quietly grab the cart of books and roll it away from them. no one seems to notice though; the perks of being a wallflower.

five minutes later, you’re standing behind the counter of the check-out area, helping a few students check out textbooks. “is that everything you need?” you ask, not looking up from the computer screen.

“no, but i’d love to check you out.” you turn your head at the familiar voice and snort upon seeing yukhei.

“that was bad, even for you.”

“the only way you’d notice me,” he shrugs. you notice that he isn’t holding anything in his hands, and from the corner of your eyes you can see yujin and her friend walking towards the exit. judging from the way her friend rubs her shoulders, you can only guess that she’s been rejected like the others.

“you turned her down?” you ask.

yukhei sighs. for someone who receives several confessions, he never looks less guilty when rejecting them. “yujin is really sweet and smart, but i’m only interested in her as a friend. plus, between you and me?” he leans in as if telling you a secret. “i’m pretty sure her friend somi has a thing for her.”

you shake your head in sympathy. poor girl, having to be a wing woman for the girl you like. “well, that sucks.”

he frowns at your curt response, resting his arms on the counter. “you know, we haven’t been friends for very long, yet you never question why i reject everyone.”

you shrug, walking towards the storage room. “you’re just waiting for the right person, because contrary to popular belief, wong yukhei isn’t a heart breaker.”

yukhei can only forlornly watch as you head to the back. “i’ve found the right person, they just haven’t noticed yet,” he mutters.

if you’re being honest, you don’t quite remember how yukhei entered your life. after all, he’s way ahead in the social spectrum, surrounded by swarms of friends like some enforcer of happiness. on the other hand, you’re on the complete opposite side of that spectrum. you’re the quiet guy who minds your own business, so you don’t have many friends like he does, save for the few close ones you’ve made prior to high school. but one day, like the friendly giant he is, he magically appears by your side, and now his presence fills each of your days.

save for the times he teases you about your height and your personality, yukhei isn’t as bad as kids like you describe. sure, he’s loud and outspoken, every introvert’s nightmare, but he isn’t a jerk or a heart breaker like they whisper about. he’s quite the opposite, actually, his personality similar to a golden retriever. the way others perceive him never gets less funny for you. you’ve personally seen him get his nose stuck in a coat hanger before; how in the world does a klutz like him scream heart breaker material?

you’ve only known him for half a year, yet you feel like you’ve known him since childhood. he’s never quiet about his life, and he always seems genuinely interested in you. naturally, like the fool you are, you found yourself inevitably falling for him. it’s not like things will go your way - yukhei is at the center of the school’s attention, meaning he’s surrounded by plenty of suitors. it’s so cliche you’d laugh - the quiet guy pining over the school’s heart throb - but truthfully, you’d rather watch him excitedly talk about his interests or do anything that elicits a smile from him. you’ll have plenty of time to laugh later, anyways.

when you enter the cafeteria, you scan the cliques assembled at each table, looking for your own little group made up of you, mark, renjun, and donghyuck. it’s a mix of different personalities with even more different interests, but sharing the cast roles of trees in the third grade goes a long way.

your sight is quickly obscured by two massive hands, and you sigh, recognizing the cold feeling of a ring against your face. “guess who?” a voice above you sings.

“what are you doing here?” you ask. you quickly regain your sight as the hands slink away, and you turn around to face a smiling yukhei.

“here to grab food just like everyone else,” he answers, ruffling your hair. he laughs when he sees you try to remove his hand from your hair, yours impossibly small compared to his. “is this bothering you, tiny terror?” he teases.

“seriously?”

“sorry, did you say something? you’re a little too quiet.”

to a bystander, it would look like yukhei, the tall, popular kid, was bullying you, the average quiet wallflower. but your friendship all began with this “teasing”, so you don’t really mind anymore.

before you can say anything, you hear a crowd of guys headed your way. you take that as your cue to leave, removing his hand from your hair. luckily, you finally see your friends at a table at the other side of the room. “i’m going to go now. bye,” you say. before you get a response, you slink away from him.

as you slide in a seat beside mark, you catch renjun and donghyuck eyeing you with interest. you’ve known them long enough to know that look means trouble - specifically from renjun and donghyuck. mark is never a part of their schemes, wanting nothing more than a peaceful day. “can i help you?” you ask, leaning down to steal a fry from mark, who shrieks in protest.

"so, you and yukhei?” renjun gives you a knowing look, while mark gives you an apologetic one. you feel like you’ve just jumped straight into a trap.

“we’re friends. what about it?” you ask, taking more of mark’s food. at this point, he’s given up on fending it from your hands.

“he’s in denial,” donghyuck whispers, though you hear it loud and clear. “dude, he gives you heart eyes when you do so much as breathe. how does it feel, having a heart throb like him wrapped around your finger?”

the thought is baffling; you, having yukhei wrapped around your finger? “no comment because i don’t.” renjun and donghyuck boo at your comment. “enough with that nonsense already. we’re just friends. plus, i’m not going to swoon over him-”

“-like everyone else in the building?” mark finishes, pointing his head forward. you look up, and unsurprisingly, a swarm of people surround yukhei, and he’s eagerly chatting with them, probably thriving from the attention. you swear you see a glimpse of yet another letter from a guy you recognize from your biology class, but with so many people it’s hard to tell.

“you know, i don’t understand how people perceive him as a heart breaker. he’s like a clumsy puppy with too much energy for his own good,” you comment, munching on a fry.

“maybe because you’re one of the few people who actually know him well enough to determine that?” mark suggests. “he gets along with everyone, but he tails you like a puppy all of the time. it’s no wonder you know him well.”

you shrug. “maybe if he teased other people all the time, they’d probably get to know him better, too. apparently that’s how people befriend others these days.”

they all exchange a knowing look before staring at you. “riiight. because he teases everyone he wants to befriend. not because, you know, he’s interested in them,” renjun remarks.

you stare at yukhei for a little longer until he looks up and sees you. he frantically waves with a large grin, and you can’t help the small smile that forms on your lips as you wave back. when your hand falls and you go back to eating mark’s food, you shrug. “right.”

something you find odd about your schedule is how you have pe right after lunch. do teachers seriously think it’s a good idea to have students running laps right after eating? that only calls for disaster. it’s something you complain about every now and then to donghyuck, seeing how he’s the only person you can talk to.

“i heard we’re doing the mile run today,” donghyuck shares.

you groan, walking beside him. “i don’t care how many times we do it. i will never not complain about it. what makes him think running’s fun?”

“i don’t know, i think running’s pretty great,” a voice chimes. you don’t need to turn around to guess who it is, but you do anyways. unsurprisingly, yukhei’s right beside you, grinning his signature smile.

“easy for you to say. you’re built like a greek god and you have abnormally long legs. you’re like... a spider.”

yukhei chooses to ignore your comparison about the spider, instead beaming. “you think i’m built like a greek god?”

what a way to feed into his ego. “i take it back.”

he visibly deflates, pouting. “what! you can’t take it back, (name)! don’t hurt me like that!”

you’re about to retort back when donghyuck taps your shoulder. “lucas, (name), hi. i’d hate to bother your flirting session, so i’m going to bother yangyang now.”

“we’re not-” the words are barely out of your mouth before he slinks away from you two, but not before throwing up finger guns at you. you’re left alone with yukhei, who shoots you a cheeky wink.

the five minutes it takes for you to walk to the track field quickly goes by, having spent it conversing with yukhei. your teacher tasks everyone to partner up for the mile run, and your instincts are telling you to go to donghyuck, who’s been your partner each time. but then you see him approach yangyang with an intention in his eyes and you decide to go against it. the only other friend you have in this class would be...

you turn around to look for yukhei, but he’s no longer by your side, instead being encompassed by several guys. he doesn’t quite meet their gaze though, eyes flickering to you. he’s obviously occupied. to your dismay, there are no other options left, and you’d rather die than talk to other people.

someone taps your shoulder and you jump so high that even the perpetrator seems startled. you fearfully stiffen, contemplating the dozen methods of running away, but when you turn around, you visibly relax. it’s hendery, one of your classmates. you don’t know him too well, but you share most of your classes together. “hey (name), you still looking for a partner?” he asks.

“yeah, i am. are you?" of course he’s looking for a partner. why else would he approach you? great. now he’s going to think you’re weird, and then you’re not going to have a-

“perfect, so am i! do you want to run first, or should i?” he flashes you a smile that eases your nerves, and the butterflies in your stomach still.

“i don’t have a preference.”

“okay, then i’ll go first. be sure to keep a good eye on me, okay?” he sends you a flirty wink, and you’re taken aback by the sudden motion, lightly blushing. he seems to notice this, too, grinning at your silence. “i’ve been told i’m a good runner. i hope i impress you~”

your mind is running faster than your body could ever, still trying to process hendery’s boldness. “oh. well, i bet you’re far better than me. i’m not a good runner,” you awkwardly laugh.

it’s only been a few minutes, but you find yourself pleasantly surprised to become acquainted with hendery, though it’s mainly hendery doing the talking since you’re not quite out of your shell yet. in the five minutes you’ve known him, you learn that he’s the captain of the track team and strangely enough, really likes hot dogs. you go through the five stages of regret upon learning this, because your running won’t even begin to compare to his. but he gently assures you it isn’t a big deal, even patting your shoulder.

you decide that hendery’s ability to put people at ease is incredible, because you’re too absorbed with his presence to notice the look yukhei sends from afar.

after that, you and hendery quickly befriended each other. your relationship kind of reminds you of your’s with yukhei because of how different you are, but unlike him, he doesn’t tease you all of the time. you’re not sure how to feel when you find yourself missing it.

on the bright side, he’s a great friend to hang out with when others are busy. renjun and donghyuck have volleyball practice? you go to the arcade with hendery. mark has speech and debate? you get tacos with hendery. yukhei is busy... being the social butterfly he is? you go over to hendery’s house. your increase in hangouts has definitely made your friends suspicious, with donghyuck going as far as accusing you of cheating on yukhei, whatever that means. it’s not like you two are dating, anyways.

(the thought reminds you just how impossible the concept is, and you would be lying if you said you weren’t bothered by it.)

your third period is when you act as mrs. choi’s library assistant. you’re sitting by the counter, flipping through the latest issue of haikyu!! when you hear footsteps approach you. having to act like the responsible assistant, you quickly tuck the book away, but not fast enough judging from hendery’s smirk. “so mr. studious isn’t quite so studious, is he?” he asks.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you shrug. “anyways, what are you doing here? do you have a free period like-” you quickly stop in your tracks. the name stands at the tip of your tongue, but for some reason, a part of you tells you not to say it.

thankfully he doesn’t question your abrupt pause. “no, i have math. pauses for boos,” he sighs. “anyways, can you check this out for me?” he slides a thick textbook your direction.

“sure. student id?” you go through the procedure of checking out his book, which doesn’t take long. “okay, you’re good to go.”

he doesn’t immediately leave though, eyes never leaving your frame. “(name)?”

you pull out your book, flipping back to the page you were on. “yeah?” there’s a pause, which is unlike hendery. from what you know, he’s confident and doesn’t take breaks, which makes you look up from your book. he looks almost... nervous? “are you okay?”

he pauses to take a deep breath, and you’re suddenly embracing for something serious. “would you go on a d-”

“hey (name), hendery! what a coincidence seeing you here!”

you look behind hendery and is surprised to see yukhei approach you with a strained smile. you’ve been hanging out with hendery so much that you haven’t seen yukhei in a while, aside from your shared classes.

at this point, the other patrons in the library have already gotten used to his loud voice, and seeing how you never once kicked him out, they stopped shushing him altogether. “it isn’t a coincidence, yukhei. you know i’m here during third period.” you squint at his appearance. he looks stiff, sweaty even. “are you okay?”

hendery looks like he knows something you don’t, glaring at yukhei. “we’re in a library, or have you forgotten?” there’s an obvious bite in his words, one that shocks you. you had no idea they didn’t like each other, but seeing their mutual glares, it’s kind of obvious now.

“sorry, i had to get my point across,” yukhei responds. he turns to face you, and his smile quickly fades into one of genuine. “hey (name), can i talk to you about something?” he turns to give hendery the stink eye. “in private?”

“he can’t abandon his responsibility as mrs. choi’s assistant, much less for you,” hendery snaps.

okay, you’re really missing something big here. in an attempt to clear the tense atmosphere, you clear your throat. “can it wait...” you glance at the clock. “five minutes? mrs. choi should be back then.”

yukhei nods, giving hendery a triumphant smirk. “of course.”

five minutes later, mrs. choi comes back, allowing you to slink into the empty hallway with yukhei. “before you tell me what you need to tell me- what the hell was that?”

he gives you an oblivious look. “what was what?”

“the tension between you and hendery!” you exclaim. “you two looked like you were going to shoot each other had i not been there.”

he looks genuinely surprised that you noticed. what does he take you for, a dunce? “oh, that? we’ve never really gotten along... but recently, we found out we both like the same person, so that kind of worsened things.”

you nod, though the thought of yukhei finding his right person surprises you, and a small part feels a little disappointed. rightfully so, because not only is it not you, but because he didn’t bother telling you! “you finally found the right person for you?”

“for a while now, actually,” he corrects. now you’re even more surprised; yukhei found someone he liked and hadn’t once told you? the betrayal! “i just haven’t been able to tell them.”

“well, who is it?” you sigh, shaking your head. “you had all of these chances to tell me, and you didn’t even try? i’m disappointed.” technically he would be saving you from heartbreak by not telling you, but that’s beside the point.

“well, that would ruin the surprise then. i was planning on confessing,” he explains, giving you a cheeky smile.

this is fine, this is fine... except it’s not, you mentally narrate. you’re already flashing him a strained smile. “when?” you ask.

yukhei’s smile never once fades, and you’re tempted to wipe it off his face. “right now.” he sweeps his arm in a flourish. “i like you, (name) (last name).”

a pause. you’re frozen in your spot, replaying his words in your head.

i like you, (name) (last name).

this must be some sort of fever dream. or an elaborate prank; you frantically look around for someone to jump out in front of you, camera in hand. but to your shock, you’re still wearing clothes, and no one jumps out. “did i hear that right?” you gawk.

yukhei’s still grinning; your shocked look seems to satisfy him. “i like you. you’re the person i was talking about.”

you’ve been duped - bamboozled! “am i dreaming?”

he laughs, ruffling your hair. “this is very much real, cutie. do you want me to kiss you to prove it?” you visibly flush, hiding your face behind your hands. he’s always teased you, but this it the first time he’s really flirted like this. has he been holding back on your account? he peels your hands off your face, cooing at how red you are. “may i ask for your answer?”

your face is still warm, eyes refusing to meet his. he’s holding your hands, and it feels like he’s holding your heart in them, too. “why?” you’re not asking this because of your insecurities, but because you’re genuinely curious. if he’s shown signs that he likes you, he’s done a great job at making it subtle. 

(yukhei’s definitely not subtle though, which means you probably didn’t notice because you’re just that dense.)

“i like your personality,” he begins. “you’re a breath of fresh air among the familiar, the quiet in my loud. i think we fit really well. plus, teasing you is a bonus, seeing you get all bothered.” he caresses your hands, and you’re suddenly keenly aware of where you two are. “you know, i would’ve made things more extravagant, but hendery was going to sweep you off your feet, so i had to make things quick.”

wait, hendery likes you too? then at the library... this feels like a wattpad fanfic. but instead of pondering on that, you roll your eyes. “even if he said anything, i wouldn’t have accepted.”

his face contorts to one of surprise, but it takes him a few seconds to understand the implications behind your comment. “does that mean you like me, too?” he hums, eyes twinkling in delight.

you hate feeding into his ego, but you decide right now is an exception. “maybe.”

you immediately regret it though, seeing him grin like the cheshire cat. you’re never going to hear the end of it now. “i even managed to woo you with my charms, huh?”

“shut up.”

“with your lips? because i’d love that.” he leans down, batting his eyelashes, and you’re heating up all over again. at first, you take it as another one of his flirty remarks, but the look he gives you is a silent question of consent. it reminds you of how no matter how much he teases you, he would never do anything to make you uncomfortable, never do anything without permission.

there are several thoughts swirling in your head and many things you need to discuss with yukhei. how will the general public react learning about this? will you be harassed by his hoard of fans? will things even work? but instead, you grab his hand and begin walking to a secluded part of the wing. ignoring the what-if’s is very unlike you, but you have more important matters to tend to. “we have to talk about this later.”

yukhei can only hum in agreement as your breath fans over his lips.

as mentioned earlier, yukhei isn’t subtle at all, so it’s no surprise that soon the whole school finds out about your relationship. you can’t be mad at him though, because he really did try. but then he accidentally let it slip during basketball practice, bragging about how you were an amazing kisser. you can’t really be mad at his comment, anyways.

to your dismay, your popularity has soared being yukhei’s boyfriend. you much prefer the times when people had to ask for your name again, because now they all label you as lucas’s boyfriend. like, you have a name. plus, high school students are incredibly nosy. but people are nice, for the most part.

needless to say, your friends had a field day with you upon hearing the news. apparently renjun and donghyuck had made bets on you, to which the former had triumphed. mark simply congratulated you as he struggled to stop the two from fighting each other.

to your surprise, hendery had approached you and congratulated you two on the manner. he ruffled your hair and told you that he’s always available if you ever choose to drop yukhei, to which the latter responded by lunging at him. you didn’t have time to question hendery about the events in the library from the past week, having to stop your boyfriend from fighting him.

your days at school have certainly become livelier. for starters, yukhei has become much more open about expressing affection, though the displays in public are nothing compared to in private. his friends were also quick to introduce themselves to you, even going as far as stealing you from him. you’re pretty sure you’ve become an honorary member of the basketball team now. things have seemed to calm down now, though your friends still tease your relationship every now and then. you try to go by your day with minimal interaction as usual, save for yukhei and your friends.

today was supposed to be your free day, but mrs. choi had called you asking if you could finish up things in the library, having to leave early for a doctor’s appointment. like the kind assistant you were, you had accepted with no hesitation, finishing up her tasks. however, you did feel like you were forgetting something important.

you’ve just finished shelving the final textbook when you hear footsteps approach you. you turn your head, expecting to see the janitor, but you’re startled to come face-to-face with a guy. judging from the threatening look on his face, you can tell you’re in for an unpleasant conversation. and if that’s the case, it’s probably because of yukhei.

with his popularity and your relationship, it isn’t surprising that there were a few that weren’t too happy to see you together. he isn’t some object that wannabe teenagers have ownership over. however, many are yet to grasp that concept. “how can i help you?” you politely ask.

you barely have any time to blink before you’re being pushed against the bookshelf, trapped in between his arms. this feels like a showdown between the love interest and the wannabe, the latter fighting for the affections of the male lead. “listen up, (last name),” the guy snarls. “you better stay away from lucas. you don’t deserve him.”

under normal circumstances, you would be terrified. but apparently you have a death wish, saying, “and you do?”

you close your eyes, bracing for a fist to your face, but surprisingly, it never comes. you squeak an eye open to see him looking down at you with a smirk. “whatever he sees in you, it won’t be there long. did he ever tell you how much he hates boring people?”

usually jerks like him don’t bother you, but... boring? you may be quiet, but you don’t think you’re that boring... right? the stranger releases his hold on you. before he can say any more, the library doors swing open, and like some knight in shining armor, there stands yukhei who looks out of breath. “(name)? hyunjung?”

you two are lucky he didn’t see your position earlier, otherwise it would beg for some unpleasant questions. “hi lucas,” hyunjung politely greets, doing a quick bow. a complete 180 from his personality from earlier. “i was just leaving.”

yukhei nods as hyunjung walks away from you two. he approaches you, pouting. “i was looking all over for you! did you forget about our date today?”

oh, so that’s what you were forgetting. you absentmindedly nod, still thinking of hyunjung’s words from earlier. “oh, sorry.”

he must sense some hostility in you, because he gently grabs your shoulders. “hey, are you okay? you look a little shaken up.”

usually you bottle up your worries; when they overfill, you shove them down even further. but yukhei is the complete opposite, so open about himself like he has nothing to hide. perhaps it’s because you spend so much time with him that his candid tendencies have rubbed onto you. “are you sure you’re okay with this?” you ask.

he tilts his head in confusion. “okay with what?”

you shrug, trying to show hyunjung’s words didn’t bother you as much as it had. “dating me?”

instantly he narrows his eyes, tightening his grip. “did- did hyunjung say something to make you think that way? is that why he came in here?” he protectively wraps his arms around you. “remind me to give him a lesson next time.” you snort; yukhei can’t even hurt a fly. if he does, it’s unintentional, and he always screams at the realization.

“i mean, i usually don’t listen to jerks like that, but-” you pause to gesture at yourself. “i’m your polar opposite, and as funny i think i am, i’m pretty quiet and boring. plus, you hate boring people, or at least people too stuck up for their own good.”

yukhei musters all of the sincerity in his eyes. “but that’s what makes us work so well, (name). i think i’m really cool and nice and all-” you snort at the comment. while all of those adjectives are true, it doesn’t make it less funnier, seeing how much confidence he has. “but i also have my flaws. i can be hotheaded, and i’m bad at saying no. but you help balance them out. you keep me leveled, and you’re always firm about what you want. plus, i help balance your flaws, too; we just work like that.” he squishes your cheeks together, eliciting a sound of protest from you. “if i don’t have a problem with a cutie like you, they shouldn’t, either.”

“some have yet to grasp the concept of treating you like a taken man,” you answer, though it comes out muffled. he giggles at the acknowledgement, leaning down to peck your nose. a garbled noise leaves your throat, and you close your eyes in embarrassment.

“maybe i should show them just how taken i am,” he hums. he promptly removes his hands from your face and wraps an arm around your shoulder. “how about we start by going on our date?”

despite how simple his resolution seems, you know you and yukhei will have another deeper discussion about today’s events. whereas he likes solving things with cuddles and kisses, you like to do it with deep conversations. that can wait for now. “let me lock up first. we’re getting food, right?”

when you look up at him, you suddenly realize what donghyuck meant when he said yukhei looks at you with heart eyes. the look he gives you is so sweet you feel like you’re getting cavities. it’s so endearing you nearly forget all of your insecurities, only focusing on how much he seems to adore you. he always seems to know what to do when you’re in a slump. “of course! gotta feed the cutie here,” he answers, leaning down to kiss the crown of your head.

you roll your eyes with a laugh, though you sneakily wrap your fingers with his. you’ll have plenty of time to repay the favor later.

[sukirichi]

— LOVE LETTER FROM ANON ; 💌

this is from an ask i received. i copy pasted and replied here as a text post since i can’t put “read more” on anon asks and it’s quite long hehehe. to the anon who sent me this, i give you loads of my love, thank you so much for everything !!

[ the ask ]

hi lovely,

i just read earned it and i have a couple things i’d like to say to you if you don’t mind. before i start, i completely understand if you don’t want to share this ask or even read at all which is fair. but if you do decide to read it, i know that one person such as me cannot change the decisions a writer had made such as discontinuing a series but i hope that this allows you some sense of peace or happiness towards your creation and end of earned it. i’m actually writing this is my notes before i send it to you so that’s how you know i truly mean it. buckle up baby!

i’d like to start with this; i just read and finished all the remaining chapters of earned it. i don’t know how to say this without sounding arrogant or cocky which truly isn’t my intention here, i promise so i’ll just say it as is. i swear to ever loving god, i’ve scoured the entirety of tumblr, ao3, fanfiction.net, wattpad, everything and anything, and it still isn’t very often that i find works like these, far and few between dare i say. ive looked through almost everything i could get my hands on to read in the jjk fandom and dear god, do you manage to keep on surprising me. i’ve read majority if not all your works along with following you on ao3 and tumblr, and i must say. i truly am so fucking impressed. completely and absolutely fucking floored if you will. the amount of plot twists and pure emotion you managed to put into this is only something i can dream of ever creating.

i cannot lie, it truly my hearts to think that people gave you so much shit over this to which ended in you deciding to discontinue along with your lack of interest which at least, is understandable unlike the hate. i literally cannot comprehend how people would be unhappy with the outcome so far after reading it since it was beyond fucking magnificent in my eyes. it kept me on my toes the entire time whilst never managing to bore me once and as someone with adhd, thats fucking hard to do, i’ll admit it. props to you. and as much as i want to grovel and beg for crumbs, something, anything to know about how it ends, i know that that will most likely accomplish nothing to both you and i so decided to just say this.

thank you for writing this. thank you for not only writing it but dealing with the experience of unwanted and negative criticism to the point you had to stop and discontinue it whilst also being generous and amazing enough to keep it up so other people could still read it. i really hope your proud of earned it and how it turned out so far, because if i were you, i’d be so bloody fucking proud i wouldn’t know what to do with myself.

my friends often tell me i overstep my boundaries and i really hope i aren’t doing that with this but i just really, truly, wanted to express my genuine appreciation and thanks towards your writing and towards you as a writer that puts out content, not to mention for free!!!!, for people like me. i also don’t want to seem as if i’m glorifying earned above all your other works, because that’s not what i mean. your writing is just… just fucking chefs kiss. sorry, my brains starting to run out of words at this point but oh my god. thank you for letting me experience the experience of earned it even though there was no proper end. i’d rather have that than nothing at all. and maybe i misread this entire thing, maybe you are goddamn proud of your work, which you fuckinf should be considering the pure quality it is. once again, chefs kiss!!

i just… i don’t know what to say anymore. your writing, quite literally, has made me completely fucking breathless in a good way of course. anyways, i hope this wasn’t too much of a ramble and at least managed to make you smile or something. have a lovely day sweetheart!!!! <333 :*)

OMG ANON PLS FORGIVE ME IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK ME DAYS TO RESPOND TO, I DIDN’T WANT TO GIVE YOU A HALF ASSED RESPONSE SO I WAITED TO GET MY MENTAL ENERGY BACK TO A HUNDRED PERCENT SO I CAN SEND BACK MORE LOVE TO YOU WHOLEHEARTEDLY !! FIRST OF ALL UHM… 

you really made me speechless with this one, you have no idea. I’ve lost count of the times I’ve reread this and teared up a little bit because you know… I’m so shocked like I really have no idea what I did to receive such a sweet message because I’m just writing silly fanfics when I’m feeling it yknow? Or at least that’s what it seems like because it turns out I have a huge impact on others and I’m able to make people happy like I’ll never EVER get used to that feeling and I mean that in a good way !! Like I’m in a constant state of disbelief that people are this affected by my content and I’m just… 

I’m so thankful truly PLEASE can I give you a hug I’m so happy sobs sobs sobs

also baby, thank you sm for this again AAAAHH. I’m not sure if you really mean ‘Earned It’ the mafia! gojo series or ‘Reckless’ the CEO gojo series though ?? Both are discontinued but Earned It was discontinued bcos my dumbass killed Naoya there and he was my favorite so I lost the motivation and it was all my fault SOBBSSS. as for Reckless though, yeah I’d say it was mostly the hate I got for it that demotivated me into continuing it :// but if this ask is meant for Earned It, then yes thank you so much for the kind words as well, though I didn’t really receive hate for it so no worries !!

and aaah anon im…I’m at a loss for words lmao but the part where you said where you would be proud if you wrote it, that’s really…LIKE IDK it just hit me bcos oftentimes I look at something I poured my heart into, but then I’d have days where I’d be like YIKES that wasn’t a good one. its so easy to forget the effort we put into something when we’re affected by external factors. and yeah even though I really don’t want to continue either series anymore, thank you for leaving me the important note of being proud of myself <33 

although the series (earned it) wasn’t really something I’d properly executed and planned for, I do remember being passionate over it and feeling truly excited to update. even if it didn’t end out the way I wanted it to, it’s still something I poured my heart on and that’s magnificent on its own, so I’ll be prouder of myself from now on <33

no worries bb you are not overstepping any boundaries at all !! believe me when I say this ask truly do means a lot to me – more than you’ll ever know. messages like these are what keeps me going, as feedback is important to writers, but most of all it’s the genuine support and sincerity that gets to me. 

I’m truly humbled and grateful right now. thank you for this again and again and again.

THIS MADE ME MORE THAN SMILE !! there’s a lot of things I’m struggling with even if I don’t publicly express it, but messages like these will always have a special place in my heart. I’m sincerely grateful for everything, and I’ll continue writing here and sharing my works!! It’s supportive people like you that make these moments worthwhile. I’ll never forget this message anon AAAAH I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU THANK YOU YOU HAVE AN EVEN BETTER DAY OR NIGHT, you have me weak in the knees for this

OKAY BRB SOBBING IN HAPPINESS

[all-things-mlqc]

Boys reaction to MC who never have date before meeting them. Like, the boys as MC's first love.

My first HC on here and I was memeing half the time while writing it. Included what the boys would do after hearing this news as well because why not. I’m not a Lucien fan but lord have mercy on my soul, I couldn’t help making his romantic af. He is the ideal boyfriend/date minus the l i e s that come in the MS and I hate it. All the crossed out stuff is just commentary because I couldn’t help myself. Hope you enjoy~ Thank you for your ask <3

How the MLQC boys react to being MC’s first love below the cut~

Victor:

Follows with some snarky comment after he calls her “Dummy”.

Let’s be real here, if he doesn’t call her dummy immediately, then something is wrong. Reminds me of when we streamed the first episode of MLQC and we were all yelling “CALL US BAKA” the second Victor came on screen.

While he seems cool and collected on the outside, you can hear the computer shutdown sound play on the inside.

To him, this is a shocking confession.

Victor: I’m not surprised a dummy like you hasn’t been in a serious relationship before.

Victor, internally: How has she never been in a serious relationship before??

He’s not very good at expressing himself honestly through his words but he truly admires MCs hardworking nature.

He finds that very attractive in a woman and is surprised that other men in the line of business haven’t taken their shot with her yet. it’s because they can feel your death stare on the back of their heads, kind sir

One thing he struggles with is being himself. He tries to act like everything is in his control all the time.

Because of this, upon hearing MCs confession, he invites her to a fancy dinner at his penthouse insert Victor’s Dazzling Date because THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. Jkjk haha... unless...

He wants to impress her as much as possible even though he knows deep down that she doesn’t care about what a person has and rather how they are as a person

BUT ALAS. The stress be real for her first boyfriend.

He wants her to know she made a good decision without verbally telling her out of his own bitch mouth I love you, please call me baka so he goes over the top with their first date.

Basically pulls a Mr. Krabs when taking Mrs. Puff on a date. Just add shades to Mr. Krabs to represent Victor’s “I’m calm. I’m chill. I’m all good. We vibin out here.”

All MC wants from him is his honest and genuine thoughts. and a lifetime stock of pudding because good god a girl has chocolate needs

MC eventually figures out Victor’s intentions with all the gifts he rains on her because hE dOesNt nEeD tHeM he can’t give her anything more than a cup of pudding up front

MC knows this and accepts the secret gifts with a smile.

She sends a gift in return to his office the following day along with a thank you for the wonderful date.

Can you hear that? It’s the sound of Victor’s heart rate slowing to the average persons.

Kiro:

insert pikachu meme

This boy is mind blown.

“How have you never been in a relationship before??? That can’t be true!”

Kiro sees the good in everyone, so hearing that MC has never been in a relationship before him is

He gives her a bright smile and playfully hugs her from behind.

The two of them laugh together as he whispers genuinely in her ear,

“I promise to make you happy. You won’t regret it.”

He immediately drags her off to Loveland’s Amusement Park, where they spend the whole day together.

Rides, snacks, games, you name it, they did it all.

Kiro naturally spoils MC without putting much thought to it.

It’s like a reflex for him. It’s just who he is as a person. Always wants to share the happiness in the world with the people he cares about.

As for how anxious he is after hearing the news about being MC’s first love, he is screaming at a pitch only dogs can hear.

Almost 100% of the time he has a smile on his face and even convinces himself that he’s not worried about it.

But he is.

It only hits him when he thinks about another man taking MC away from him after seeing her talking with another guy.

MC will catch him without his carefree smile at times and eventually confronts him about it.

He shows her a wide smile and says there’s nothing to worry about.

L I E S. BABIE LEMME HOLD YOU I PROMISE YOU DONT NEED TO WORRY.

After a few attempts of trying to get Kiro to open up about it, he gives in and says he’s worried he’s not good enough for her HAHAHHA, GOOD ONE KIRO

MC, however, turns it around on him

MC: I’m afraid IM the one who isn’t good enough for you.

They both smile and embrace each other, knowing they’ll get through any little concerns like this.

Gavin:

He knows.

We’re talking about the boy who has been in love with MC since high school; Who has protected her behind the scenes ever since he laid eyes on her.

He would know if she had been in a previous or current relationship.

It only comes as a shock when she says she’s never been interested in anyone else romantically before. Lies. Have you seen the other suitors, MC. In a world where guys are that hot, you must’ve had at least 1 crush, c’mon sis.

Gavin respected her personal boundaries and never looked into her personal affairs so he had very little knowledge of her views on other guys.

He gets a little bit nervous, since he believes her standards must be high if she hasn’t been interested in anyone else before.

Does the full on soldier oath, bend the knee cliche which includes “I promise to always protect you” and “Nobody will ever be good enough for you”

Mc: Gavin no...

Gavin: NOBODY WILL EVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU.

Spoiler alert: You are waayyyyy too good for me, Gavin.

He doesn’t have too much anxiety over the thought of being MC’s first love though since he’s very good at staying true to himself and knows MC is one to admire that about others.

Gavin is a quiet guy in general. He’s more of an observer and watches MC to take note of what she enjoys.

When he sees her eyes shine bright after seeing a delicious dessert cafe, he offers to take her. He makes sure to express how he also wants to go since he knows she won’t accept unless he is interested as well.

Boy literally has no interests the moment he’s with MC. He is essentially that vine

Doesn’t even wait until the question is over and just “Absolutely. Let’s do it”

MC: But I haven’t even said anything yet...

He isn’t much different from how he is now. Has around the same amount of anxiety just from being in MCs presence.

Boy just wants to PROTECC and is always panicking on the inside but tries to remain calm.

He is very good at calming his anxiety though since he’s had so long to understand what MC values and knows she just loves people for themselves.

That’s all he needs.

Lucien:

His eyes widen slightly at MCs confession.

It’s nothing too mind blowing for him since he knows how refined MC is and how dedicated she is to her work.

It’s still surprising to him that nobody has tried to sweep her off her feet yet.

With how kind MC is, it would be hard for her to refuse a date with a gentleman.

Lucien gently presses a kiss to MCs hand upon hearing her confession.

Lucien: I am honored to be given the opportunity TO WOO to take such a beautiful lady out on a date~ AND MORE PLEASE

Lucien is the definition of a gentleman shhhh we aren’t speaking of current chapters in the main route Lucien. Cover your eyes. Pretend you do not see.

With little to no anxiety showing on his face after the reveal that he is MCs first love, he insists on taking her out to a nice restaurant the most classy and romantic 5 star restaurant Loveland City has to offer as a way to thank her for dealing with his bs (both his bullshit and black swan hahaha I’m so funny oml) being given the opportunity to treat her as a beautiful young lady should be treated.

He’s also more on the less anxious side of being MCs first love.

Lucien is a traditional man and does stuff by the book.

Because of this, he respects and likes the idea of being MCs first love.

He doesn’t go over the top yet isn’t cliche with dates and little actions.

He knows exactly what to say and when to say it. Though he may struggle with being openly honest about his own thoughts and feelings, he tries his best to express himself for MC. a lot of the time he just assumes talking to her about his personal affairs would bring her down.

This, however, gets better overtime as they continue to date.

They spend a lovely evening at dinner together and take a midnight stroll through the city oh god city stroll PTSD

He gently wraps his jacket around her bare shoulders with a soft smile as he thanks her once again for believing in him believing he is worthy of her

Bonus:

Shaw:

Shaw, smirking: Is that so?

Oohhhhh you know what that smirk does to me. DOWN BOY D O W N.

He’s surprised but his reaction is very mutual.

His internal thoughts are more on the line of “Hmm I’m her first boyfriend, aye?” and “OYA OYA”

He very likely most definitely places his hand on the wall beside her head and leans in closely to get a reaction from her as he growls,

Shaw: So that means you really like me, yeah? I’m making this way too hot gdi. Shaw stans please enjoy your food

MC looks up to see that same playful smirk resting on his face.

highkey don’t know how to respond because Im just “ok think of 3 things she would probably say and go from there” while my brain just computer error sound

MC: and what about yourself? I’m sure there are tons of girls throwing themselves at you yet you choose me.

He pulls away and places his hands in his pockets with a chuckle.

Shaw: I’ve had my fair share before.

iVe HaD mY fAiR sHarE bEfoRe MY ASS

I’m convinced he’s had one time things with girls purely for information or he isn’t the least bit interested in relationships because he thrives on stimulation and entertainment and nOboDy iS gOoD eNouGh plus he literally asks what people do on dates when taking mc out in his first date in game SO

Either way, this is a LIE. The man can’t relationship for the life of him so he has no RIGHTS to tease her.

Just let him believe or you can try to tease him about it in hopes of getting a little pouty face out of him.

Honestly, their first date would just be the first date we got in the game and nobody can convince me otherwise.

Shaw is a wild child and doesn’t care for romantic dates. at least that’s what he wants you to think

A little insight on his character: He’s very blunt and easily pushes people away all the while keeping them close enough to gather intel. He doesn’t get emotionally attached to anyone and makes sure it’s mutual on both ends. Personal relationships only drag him down, especially in his line of work. He prioritizes other things before relationships which makes him so damn FRUSTRATING BUT I SWEAR I WILL CRACK YOU OPEN LIKE A WALNUT JUST YOU WATCH ME.

With that being said, after actually being in a relationship with MC for a while and opening up about their personal lives more, Shaw can be very romantic. He may be awkward for a bit at first since he literally doesn’t know what a date is but he gets there eventually.

He’s still full of fun but is also very gentle and makes sure MC is enjoying herself.

I got sidetracked with the actual HC on this one but Shaw stans need food I NEED FOOD

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

Hey im the anon with the abusive mom who was struggling with no contact. Thank you for your response, it does help a lot. I didnt know low contact was a thing amd thats definitely easing my mind.

Actually I’m writing for a different reason. Little context, my father has NPD—diagnosable (has he ever accepted that because he has to admit hes less than perfect? No but its there anyway). So my thing is, I’ve read your thing on calling someone a narcissist. And honestly? People can be narcissists and the people around them can experince narcissistic abuse without an NPD diagnosis. I grew up with mental illness, mental disorders, personality disorders. My family is a psychiatrists dream, since all of us suffer from something or other.

Please understand I’m not trying to cause trouble, or invalidate that post. I do understand it, I understand it better than most. And I respect you for trying to be as inclusive as possible. People who suffer fromNPD deserve the same love and respect that everyone else does. But… I wonder how you approach those who have experienced narcissistic abuse. The word narcissist existed long before the diagnosis, as you say, and a person who is self absorbed or manipulative is not a narcissist. As far as most modern psychology is concerned, a narcissist and someone with NPD are two separate things. Its not their fault that they didnt get a new word like bipolar, schizophrenia, and even autism did.

So really- my question is, how do you balance the two? How do you balance recigbizibg that NPD deserves respect amd fair treatment while still recognizing that people can be hurt, and hurt badly, by narcissistic abuse which may have nothing to do with NPD? Forgive me if I sound mean in this, I often come off too strong for normal people, sorry.

Hey anon,

Thank you for writing in! I’m really glad we were able to help, and I appreciate you asking this--it’s an entirely valid question.

Both my father and my brother (my two abusers) are self-centered in the way you’re describing, and my father also does have NPD, so I fully understand where you’re coming from. It can be a tough question.

I’m able to balance it, personally, by using a different word for the abuse you’re describing. The ways I was abused were self-centered, selfish, and manipulative. A lot of words were once used as insults before being widely recognized as something that shouldn’t be insulting, and what we’re trying to do is spread awareness that NPD isn’t an insult, nor should it be considered inherently bad. People with NPD definitely can be abusive, and I’m not trying to invalidate anyone who has been abused by someone with it! But not all people with NPD are abusers, and making those people feel welcomed rather than demonized is very important to me and all of the other mods.

I would encourage you to use synonyms that don’t have the same connotations as “narcissistic”--something that isn’t inherently tied to a personality disorder. I truly do believe it’s worth it.

I hope this makes sense, and I’m truly apologetic if I at any point came across as angry or defensive. This was never my intent; I understand that you’re asking a genuine question, and I hope I was able to answer accordingly. Please know nothing I said was meant to be defensive or invalidating to you and your trauma.

Stay safe,

Mod Henrie

Also--we got your ask with the tiktok link. I finished answering this before it was sent in and waited to post it until some of the other mods could look it over, but I think this answer works for both anyway? And please don’t worry, you didn’t come across as rude or aggressive or anything like that! This is a conversation where we’re discussing two differing views, and you’ve done so very respectfully, and I truly appreciate that.

I’m going to delete the other ask you sent in--I did watch the video, and while I do think it does a good job of illustrating the differences between the two, I still believe it’s better to use a synonym. I’m deleting it only because I feel that answering it would be redundant, and I really do appreciate you sending it in 💚

[nad-zeta]

Hey ! I would like to request a headcanon please !! ✨💕💕 how would Nobunaga, Shingen, Masamune (and if you want kenshin) react when they know that MC is worried about whether she will be able to marry or even be in a relationship with them because she is a foreigner and perhaps his people want someone of the same nationality (since in Sengoku period people in japan were even more traditional and try to preserve the lineage) thank you !! 💖❤️💕✨

Heheh thanx so much for this request, dear! Sidenote i was too lazy to do research cause ive been playing Mitsuhide’s route lol, so if some pieces seem off thats probs why! I hope you enjoy it! In my mind these boys would marry MC regardless of what the people think and would basically tell anyone who has a problem with you to go to hell. But thats just my opinion anyway! ^0^ Much like this whole HC is lol. Hope ya enjoy it <3

HC: Nobunaga, Shingen, Masamune and Kenshin react to Marrying Foreign MC

Nobunaga

The two of you had been friends for a loooooong time now, and both of you were harboring feelings for the other

One day you finally built up the courage to confess, it was during your game of go

“Hey Nobunaga if I win this game of go, I’m going to claim and conquer your heart.”

He looked up and smirked at you “Alright then fireball but if I win then you are to be my girlfriend”

You had never taken the game so seriously in your life before, you put your all into winning that game

And believe it or not you WON, you had to rub your eyes as you stared at the board in disbelief

You were so happy you ran outside and shouted at the top of your lungs “I have defeated Nobunaga and he is now mine”. Mind you whispered that last part

The start to your relationship was tough, the Oda clan members were not happy about their lord taking a foreigner as a lover

They would especially send disapproving glances your way during banquets, lucky the warlords loved you to bits and 100% supported your relationship

One day in particular, some daimyos daughter was throwing so much shade at you for being a foreigner. Saying that you don’t belong here and that she should be with Nobu instead of you blah blah blah.

And if things couldn’t get any worse most of the Oda clan members were in attendance backing the prissy high lady

Nobunaga lost his shit at that moment; he had fought so long and hard to be head of the clan. He had killed his own brother for crying out loud, and even his own mother wanted to kill him. 

He was not going to let anyone tell him what he can or can’t do, especially not from the people who wouldn’t hesitate to backstab him at the first opening to rise in station and come into power

He stood up and in his most commanding voice proclaimed that you were the love of his life and that you were the only woman he would ever love. This whole speech ended off with him walking up to you and asking your hand in marriage

The Clan members and some allies of his were not happy, that is when Mitsuhide stated that he should let the people of  Azuchi decide who is to be the next woman worthy of being their queen and standing beside their beloved ruler Nobunaga. 

Nobunaga was a bit reluctant but agreed to it either way.

Needless to say, Mitsuhide always had his ears on the ground, and he knew the towns and farm people absolutely adored you. And after gathering the people in the courtyard, the dispute was settled and the true queen of Azuchi, was chosen. 

Nobunaga couldn’t be happier, he was practically jumping for joy

You couldn’t help but cry from happiness at the warm welcoming and approval you receive from the townspeople of Azuchi. Never again was your position questioned among the rest of the clan members.

Shingen

This playboy would spend each night in the arms of a new woman

That is until he fell in love with you

His people thought it was just a simple fling like all the woman that had come before you

But soon the realized Shingen was starting to get serious about you

They really tried to hate you for being a foreigner, cause they wanted to preserve the lineage 

But they couldn’t bring it over themselves, especially considering Yuki also loved you so much

Yuki had told everyone what you had done for them and for Shingen.

It was thanks to you that their beloved leader was healed of his illness

And it was thanks to you that they were able to go back to their homeland peacefully

Plus, you were such a warm, friendly person and everyone that spoke to you couldn’t help but love you

Sit down Yuki this isn’t witchcraft it’s just your charming personality 

If anything, they had more of a problem with you being an Oda princess rather than a foreigner

But like I said regardless they all saw you as an angel or a goddess, pure and radiant, and definitely someone who would have their best interests at heart.

TBH his clan members were all too happy the Tiger was thinking about setting down cause these guys have been pestering him for an heir and Shingen ain’t getting any younger 

You worked hard to earn their respect and trust

When Shingen publicly asked you to marry him in front of all his people you were a little stressed that someone would have a problem with you. Shingen could see the reluctance in your eyes, so he looked around and said:

“Who here has a problem or concern with me marrying my dearest Goddess over here”. Absolute silence fell. You couldn’t help but smile and accept his proposal.

That night you realized just how loved you were by his people as every second person had hugged a welcomed you to the family.

Masamune

You and Masamune had been together for a while now, and the boy was starting to get serious

He really loved you and couldn’t picture anyone else who could stand by his side and rule the date clan with him quite like you 

He made the two of you a yummo dinner and proposed. You loved this one eye dragon so much, so you instantly accepted

That night before you fell asleep you tuned around in Masamune’s arms to stare up at him

Your mind was being overactive with what-if scenarios, you really loved Masamune, but you knew his clan and people would not be pleased by the news of him marrying a foreigner

Not just that but you had seen him receive many marriage requests over the years, and there was one in particular that his clan was pushing him to accept

Masamune could see all the questions swirling in your eyes, he simply bent down and kissed your nose, forehead and then pulled you closer to him

He told you that he didn’t care what anyone else thought and that the two of you would take it one day at a time

Needless to say, Masamune’s people loved you, you had visited Masamune’s home many times and spent lots of time getting to know everyone. You were one of those genuinely friendly people who cared about people

It’s one of the traits that attracted Masamune to you, you didn’t care if someone was rich or poor you treated them equality

No no, the problem came with the higher-ups, they didn’t trust you, and they didn’t deem you worthy. After all, what did you know about history or tradition, you were just some random foreigner. 

When Masamune announced that you were his fiancé; they just said No, like they completely rejected the whole idea. Not only that, but they brought some other random princess out and told him that she would be better suited for him.

Luckily Masamune is a stubborn man, so he just ignored their “suggestions.” But like I said, the clan members and a few smaller date clan allies were not having it.

You went back home alone to Azuchi after the meeting with the date clan, leaving Masamune there to deal with them. You were honestly so upset, what was supposed to be a happy announcement turned into the worst day of your life.

Little did they know you and Nobunaga were very good friends, like you would pop into his room for tea at random times friend. The cry on his shoulder about the backlash of Masamune announcing his intention to marry you, kind of friends. 

And it just so happened that Nobunaga was one of their biggest allies along with Ieyasu, and let be real attending all the banquets got you in good with both of their clan members and if anything they were trying to convince you to marry those two idiots instead of Masamune. So, to say you were backed by two other powerful clans would be an understatement.

Nobunaga listened as you cried about everything that had been said, then he gave you a big wide smile and said: “Come fireball, let’s go scare the shit out of them to make you feel better.”

You Nobunaga and Ieyasu rode to Masamune’s home the next day, they burst into the council room doors, and saw that Masamune was still arguing with everyone over your marriage.

All heads were turned to Nobunaga as he stood by the door with Ieyasu and swiftly proclaimed that you were not just some foreigner but a princess of the Oda forces and if they have a problem with Masamune wanting to wed his sister then he would end the alliance right there and invade.

Ieyasu nodded in agreement 

Hehe you definitely had a smug look on your face, both Ieyasu and Nobunaga had claimed you as their dearest sister, not just that but Nobunaga had pulled out a letter from Kenshin and Shingen in which both also gave you their backing.

Kenshin’s letter obviously being very threatening and saying he would have no probs with allying with Nobunaga and going to war with them for refusing you lol.

Looks like you have some friends in powerful places

Lol those clan boys never questioned you or threatened you again. If anything, they blessed your marriage and stayed faaaaar away from you. They definitely didn’t want to get on your bad side

Kenshin

Kenshin had found his Goddess, of war, his soulmate, the and only woman who would ever hold his heart and soul

It was well known that you were the only woman that Kenshin looked at, the feared woman-hating Kenshin disliked all women but one.

And that would be you

If anything when Kenshin announced that he was going to marry you people were more surprised than anything else

Everyone honestly loved you, mostly they loved that fact that you were the only one who calmed Kenshin the hell down

His clan was overjoyed that he had finally found a life partner

They were honestly just starting to accept the fact that Kenshin would have no heirs

One night while cuddling with Kenshin, you voiced your concerns about not being accepted by his people because you were a foreigner

Kenshin legit looked you in the eyes and said if anyone dares oppose your marriage to him, or utter one bad thing about you he wouldn’t hesitate to kill them

Like he was pulled away from someone he loved in the past, but now it was different, now he had power. He would kill anyone that dare stood in his way! He will not lose the love of his life to anyone

Kenshin nuzzled into your neck and reassured you and then proceeded to pepper you with kisses, he loved you so much

And as if overhearing the whole conversation all of a sudden, the whole bunny army came into the room and joined in on the cuddles

Kenshin couldn’t help but laugh at the silly creatures “And love, you forget you command a whole vicious army of your own. I am sure the bunnies would not hesitate to stand up to anyone who tries to hurt their goddess”. As if agreeing with Kenshin the bunnies started nuzzling the two of you.

All your worries and anxiety were short-lived as when Kenshin made the official announcement, everyone was overjoyed. No one really cared that you were a foreigner, plus no one felt like having their head detached from their shoulders

And if that wasn’t enough, at the banquet celebrating your engagement, the bunnies all attended in celebration with the people, some of the bun buns would sit on your lap staring down anyone who might have worn the slightest frown towards you. These bunnies would not hesitate to attack anyone who made would make you sad just like their master. 

Hehehe this is probs not my best work but here it is anyways! <3

[sanchoyo]

Looks like you’re gonna have to gush some more cuz I meant in general uwu🌸

🌺😌🤟 Always happy to! Okay here’s just some General bnha Thoughts ™ Mostly Lov centric. You asked for them, and you said GUSH about them, so here’s. A Lot! :)

This isn’t a lov one but it’s really funny so I thought I’d put it out there:

-when bnha was first gaining traction on tumblr, it was all art of Tsuyu. I have no idea why. People were talking about the funky frog lesbian superhero anime. Maybe it was just the people I was following, maybe it was a general trend, but I LOVED her design!!! my fav color and frogs r super cute!!! And I already loved superhero media, so I was like. I’ll watch it. For Her. SO. FROPPY IS THE REASON I WATCHED/READ BNHA. I went in thinking she was the protag and I was sooo confused when Izuku was... tbh I still think it’d be more interesting if she was lmaooo aus where? ...seriously if anyone has good aus where this is the case send them LOL

-I don’t actually feel that bad abt what Shigaraki’s doing. I still feel bad for him. I’m this post. yes im an apologist. its not my fault hes sexy and has been running around shirtless. hes a lesbian icon like thor is. I want to touch his hair. hes never done anything wrong in his life. he could kill all might, deku, bakugo, whatever, I’d still be sayin this. I don’t feel bad for gt. like. was anyone genuinely attached to him? lmao

-well u know how spinner’s quirk is just sticking to things? We haven’t seen him use it in canon except like, (1) time iirc?? I think this is probably bc he’s embarrassed about it even in front of the league... I loooove the idea that he gets more comfortable with it around them :”) and also how shigaraki. um. does that falling asleep thing while standing up with his eyes open, canonly? (which I still love lmfao) Imagine someone in the league walking in a dark room, turning on the light n just seeing. Spinner upside down, stuck to the ceiling asleep bc heat rises and its Warmer Up There. (cold blooded thing like tsuyu?? come ON give him a big fuzzy coat and scarf...) and Shigaraki in the center of the room, slouched but still standing, eyes open and motionless. Theyre both sleeping. Whomever sees it just...slowly walks out. LMAO

-Toga roller derby au. No deep thoughts I just think she’d be good at it. 

-Toga 100% is a social butterfly and could befriend anyone if they didn’t just judge the fact she was trying to stab them smh :/ (ok but seriously anytime I see cute friendships with her n the other kids im like :) aw. I feel like her and Camie...would be good friends. Camie feels chill enough to be like ‘ok whatever thats totally fine I forgive you!!’ LMAO we love airheads here)

-HOW DID TOGA GET SO GOOD AT FIGHTING? We know she’s been on the run since middle school or so, but good enough to pin Deku down after he’s been formally trained at a ~hero school~ for a while? (she pinned him TWICE I think, once when his arms were messed up, but, the other time as Camie, so? AND THEN WAS ONE OF THE 100 PEOPLE TO GO THRU TO THE 2ND ROUND OF THAT? even tho she didn’t bc she had to leave) good enough to beat Aizawa in a fight and stab him? A professional hero and teacher for YEARS? Is that seriously just street training??? Can people acknowledge how amazing her combat skills and reflexes are??? More Toga appreciation when?? Also her backstory??? SO subversive and incredible, hate when people reduce her to just a ~typical anime yandere~ :/

-Tomura doing stuff with his hands/fingers to train his quirk!!! And to learn to be careful with it!! obv I’m a Big Fan of him playing piano to do this and video games are prob the canon answer, but like, guitar or any stringed instrument that requires Hands would work too. Or knitting/sewing? EMBROIDERING? ??? Please, let me give you the mental image of him knitting aggressively while mentally scheming, watching a twitch streamer or smth too while doing it. (Doing stuff with your hands is a great way to let your mind come up with creative stuff, that’s how I come up with writing/drawing ideas 70% of the time)

-Tomura actually PREFERS cutesty, relaxing games. I mean, he does fighting and bloody stuff irl, games are a way to relax...he’ll play shooters and gta type games with The Lads, but. on his own?? animal crossing. pokemon. kirby games. mario. zelda. BIG ZELDA FAN (not saying this bc I, personally, am biased, but,) slime rancher, stardew valley, funny simulator games... he really enjoys those :”) God forbid he has a kid bc they’re 100% getting named after a viddy game character unless someone can talk him out of it LOL. Toga and Tomura are that animal crossing /doom meme where she’d be asking for doom and him asking for animal crossing :”)

-Bits and pieces of Before are kinda stuck in Kurogiri’s brain, but like. mostly useless stuff the doctor didn’t care about removing. Like, types of clouds. So Tomura kinda picks up on stuff like that. He can just look at clouds and tell you what type they are because Kurogiri used to take him up to high places in the city and point them out to calm Tomura down from a panic attack when he was younger. He can tell you if the sky looks like it’ll rain with a 80% accuracy rate too. 

-Kurogiri left food out for kitties in the alley beside the bar. They weren’t allowed in for Health Reasons (it IS a bar with sanitation standards!!) And Tomura really wouldn’t stop it or encourage it either way so long as Kurogiri did his job, but occasionally would stand outside with Kurogiri and just watch the kitties from a distance. If any approached he’d go back in (lowkey afraid he’d hurt them by touching them :( ) They kinda kept that between them tho, bc they both Know AFO is a big bag of dicks and no fun

-people have pointed out how similar aizawa and tomura look. this was 100% the intention. tomura has a hatecrush on him. THIS IS SO FUNNY AND HORRIBLY AWKWARD FOR KUROGIRI LMAO

-Sako??? Mr. Dramatic?? Opera fan. Drama kid. Like, obviously, but. Really. He is. I feel like he can speak a dozen languages. I also feel like he used to be an overachiever but got too ambitious. He was def some kind of leader at one point of a diff Group or something that fell apart. I LOVE how creative he is with his quirk and the magician theme??? incredible. I don’t show him enough love but I Love Clowns :o)

-I don’t care what their canon heights are. Spinner and Dabi? short kings. My height hcs are (tallest to shortest) Kurogiri, Twice, Sako (who also has heels on his boots and a tall hat, keep in mind), Tomura, Magne (Tomura and Magne are about the same height imo) Toga, Spinner, Dabi. LISTEN. Dabi has short energy. Sorry. it’s true tho

-This is a semi-popular hc I think bc I KNOW I’ve seen it before, but Dabi having Terrible Vision and needing glasses is so so good. (seriously, with burns THAT close to his eyeballs, how could he not?) 

-he tries to be a tough loner coolguy. you’d think he’d smoke, but I hc his ‘weak constitution’ comes with weak lungs (esp from years of a flame quirk?? inhaling smoke over so much time is SO bad for you, most people who die in fires actually die of smoke inhalation...) so he’s got like, an inhaler, can’t smoke, actually gets carsick, needs glasses, overuses quirk to save friends constantly, likes napping, a little awkward and rude. Tomura put him in charge of the vanguard so he’s smart, and good with strategies too, like a nerd. this is the Dabi I wanna see, not the popular fandom version of him tbh also step on hawks one more time sir :”)

-I wish all the lov fics weren’t?? villain!deku like I said earlier, but also, chatfics? I have nothing against them but most of them are just a bombardment of Memes with NO PLOT!!! Listen. text/chatfics CAN have plot and be an interesting way to tell a story. I almost want to write one just to show what I mean...

I know I’ve said I like spinaraki and blackmagic, but I am a multishipper, so a few ships I don’t talk about that I like that involve the lov in some way:

-toga/any of the 1A girls??? or Camie??? super interesting. ALSO in the radio drama, bakugo’s voice actor said Toga was his favorite girl??? so?? bakugo/toga ?? I WANT TO SEE IT. but specifically my fav dynamic with her is when someone ELSE is the one to like her first, it’s what she deserves.

-Kurogiri/aizawa/mic?? any variety of that is also 👌🏻 I also kinda wanna see kurogiri/all might bc. Dads. COME ON. they bond over ‘well, I raised him, and you want to have a part in his life now?? ok. earn it. prove it. I’ll screen you first’ or something LMAO they’re both genuinely concerned for the boy, and SOOO biased. let them bond.

-WAIT WHERE IS THE MIC/COMPRESS CONTENT. THEYRE BOTH DRAMATIC. ENEMIES TO LOVERS?? HELLO??? SOMEONE?? ANYONE. rarepair hours

-giran/twice is cute. like he was hyping him up so much and so ready to go save him...

-dabi/magne where is the content. when. why not everywhere??? I’ve also seen magne/compress which was cute!! or twice/magne? they’re the big sibs of the lov...

-dabi/spinner?? come ON dabi could get over his learned biases and spend time with him and they could hold hands. I want them to.

-dabihawks. Obviously bc the Drama. yes even still, don’t @ me. (also, shigahawks, seen some REAL interesting fics with it tbh) or spinahawks?? adding hawks to a ship is like adding extra chili powder. makes it SPICY dramatic)

-nine/tomura don’t @ me once again. both kinda afo’s playthings, nine obviously was the test for tomura’s new upgrades...they both love their friends...That Scene in the Flower field </3 hmmm tragicships are fun.

-tomura/mirko. more enemies to lovers. big fan of her and bunnies. remember when he wore bunny ears in bnha smash. (ok its crack but. CUTE.) 

-I’ve also seen shiganatsu and shigafuyu and I’m like. these are cute, but also Dabi’s reaction always makes me cry laugh. so good.

-MOST EVERYONE IN THE LOV IS LGBTQA+!!! heres my personal headcanons:

Toga: pan or bi (CANON BASICALLY)

Magne: transwoman (CANON BABEY) bi, leans towards men. (her crush on dabi in bnha smash... uwu content where)

Shuichi: gets sooooo flustered canonly, I think he’d go for the first person Who Hit On Him (I can see him being the target of those mean pranks where someone says ‘my friend likes you!!’ and the friend is like ‘eww!!’ :(((( ) he’s super hesitant for romance, lots of repressed stuff. gay but takes sooo long to realize it bc he thinks most women are conventionally pretty Aesthethically, feels obligated to Like Them, but has bad self esteem so never goes after them, then only likes (1) guy so hes like?? is this allowed?? is this allowed???? (HES LIKE. IN LOVE WITH SHIGARAKI)

Dabi: bi but rly hasn’t ever gotten to date anyone, so he’s actually more reserved about it and while he’ll tease, he absolutely is absent and kinda oblivious (again, I KNOWWWW bnha smash isnt canon, but. my god. when magne is hitting on him and he Just Doesnt Understand.) also hes ace

Tomura: doesn’t care. (just prob says ‘its whatever’) trans/nonbinary (i’M NOT PROJECTING, BUT. :’/) probably goes with like, the label queer if any but doesn’t care much for labels

Kurogiri: bi??? kind of??? I say kind of bc well, I hc U Know Whom as bi, I feel like thatd carry over but he’d be really avoidant to date anyone bc hes gotta Watch His Kid u know? this is gonna sound surprising but I think he’d be the type to be like ‘ok we can have a one night stand/fling BUT it cant get personal bc I have a Job to Do for my Son so don’t get up in your feelings’ and act a little coldly at first or very ..not personable... depending on who it was he’d prob turn around eventually, esp if that person valued his feelings/job :”)

Sako: that mans Not Straight. I hc him as gay and also trans :3c

Twice: Bi and HAS dated prob more than anyone else in the league imo, super comfortable with his sexuality and supportive of everyone else’s :)

ok that’s about all I can think of atm, come back in 5 minutes and my brain will refill with lov headcanons :3 thank you for asking!!

[redjennies]

Thats a real good point about matt not setting them up for failure, I forget sometimes that would just be too risky of a tpk which would suck for them all - ur right they could probably take the TT in some creative/roundabout way (like the laughing hand)

But yeah it all leads to tharizdun.. I think the assembly folks might be so obsessed with it because of that hubris ljke you said, maybe some idea of disconnect between aeor and thazzy (like the angel of jrons, they don't realise they're working towards that?).

I REALLY like your theory it might be connected in some way to dunamancy/the luxon etc!! Maybe like the divine gate IS the luxon?? And so breaking it makes dunamancy/the beacons crazy powerful or s/t??

Woah wait

What if the thing that brought the assembly together after the mage fighting wasn't what they said - what if they all agreed that they should work towards the same end that benefits magic itself, aeor? I've seen theories that ludinus was FROM aeor and escaped before it fell, what if he has been working towards this status of nonagon for centuries, and brought the assembly together with that goal? Each ofc thinking that when the time comes THEY will be the one to benefit, but in the meantime it benefits them all to play nice and see what they can do. Maybe they believe aeor is powerful enough to stand up to ALL the gods (maybe choosing to not see how close jt is to thazzy?), and that shattering the divine gate would be worth it? Or they think they can get jt back keeping the gate intact??

Idk but honestly this campaign excites me in a conceptual and character way that c1 never managed to and I love it

(Sorry ive just been sending these long-ass asks rambling about my theories, I just love ur vibes and opinions and talking about meta or theory aha)

it's totally okay. I like bouncing my ideas off other people too, and while a lot of what you're throwing at me ranges from "HARD AGREE" to "part of me thinks that doesn't sound right but I don't pay enough attention to when wizards are talking to dispute it," these are earnest thoughts made with a genuine excitement for what's going on and I'm not going to discourage that.

two disclaimers tho. one: I don't have like a ton of brain power until after my mid day naps so I apologize if any of this feels like half-assed. other disclaimer: I have zero understanding of dunamancy and the Luxon. all of that to the best of my knowledge is Matt Mercer original and while I can kind of follow other lore because it's based on D&D stuff I'm familiar with, this dunamancy and Luxon stuff is so foreign but fascinating to me so I am just extremely speculating on any possible connection it might have to anything. like idk I feel like their interest in studying the beacons could be purely academic but I want it to be connected to something more because that's more fun to me.

but yeah I'm super sus of Ludinus. he's up to something and I'm convinced it's some "bring back the Age of Arcanum" wizard fuckery which I'm just straight up not big brain enough to have any actual insight into because I don't get wizards, but there's enough "shit keeps leading back to you, buddy" to make me view him as having some nefarious intent but I also view him as intelligent enough that with how reckless fucking with Tharizdun would be that he also has to have some long-term plan going to ensure that whatever wizard bullshit he's trying to accomplish goes in his favor and that makes me way more nervous. like it might be "high risk, high reward" but this guy can't have survived falls of civilizations just to throw it away without a metric shit ton of contingency plans and I don't like not knowing what those intentions and plans are. idk I feel very out of my depth during this arc but I am very interested in what's happening. it's just not really how my brain works. I'm sure once everything starts coming more together, I'll go back and watch episodes and be like "oh shit this is what Matt was getting at" but idk right now, I'm just like "fuck if I know what goes on in wizard heads, but I don't trust 'em."

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Luke//End Up Here

Request: Can you do a Luke Hemmings x female reader AU one-shot where their lives are switched? As in, she’s in 5sos and he’s not. He’s a normal guy and doesn’t know the band. He meets the band at a CD signing, and he and the reader hit it off and start dating. They post cute pics on each other’s Instagram pages and the fans go nuts with shipping.

hey! a couple things before you start reading. 1, even though I have requests to post before this, I thought I’d take an opportunity since its been what? 6 years? since She Looks So Perfect, so I thought we’d celebrate! And 2, I didn’t include a full performance of the song because I wanted to make it so lots of people could read it if that makes sense? because some people might not like that music, or even just that song. but it is still mentioned! anyway, I hope you like it! 

December 17th 2011

“Are we actually doing this?” You ask, the mouse hovers over the upload button and you look at each of your friends individually. “Because once this is out there, there’s no going back.” 

“Its no different to what you’ve been doing for the past year.” Michael replies and you send him a look. 

“Yes it is. Or are you forgetting about Ash?” 

“No offense to Ash. But why’s he being here so special?” Michael asks and you roll your eyes while Ash punches him in the arm. 

“Because, we’re like a proper band now. So, I’ll ask again, are we really doing this?” You repeat your previous question and the four of you exchange glances. 

“I think so.” Calum says confidently. 

“I think its exciting.” Ash adds. “My mom is going to be so proud.” 

“Yeah and think about it, we could be famous! Us, in a really famous band. Touring the world, meeting new people, doing what we love-” Calum starts but is quickly interrupted by Michael shouting. 

“Meeting really hot girls!” Calum and Ash both nod excitedly, the three of them high-fiving while you stare at them annoyed. 

“Jesus Christ.” You mutter. 

“What?” He says defensively. 

“You. Boys are gross.” 

“You love us.” Michael says teasingly while poking your cheek. 

“You’re just annoyed because that implies you’re not a hot girl.” Calum adds, prodding the other side of your face and you huff before swatting their hands away from you, while Ash stays where he is on your bed, laughing at the three of you.

“Yeah, I wouldn’t want any of you to think I’m hot.” You look at each of them. “Anyway, am I doing this now?” 

They all take a few moments to really think about it before Ash speaks up. “...yeah.” He says and you nod before pressing upload. They all gather in front of your computer, the four of you staring intently at the screen while it uploads. 

“And its done! We’re officially on the internet!” You cheer and quickly hug them all. 

“I wonder how long it will take for us to get famous?” Michael wonders. 

“Or for people to make fun of us.” Calum adds. 

“Either way people will be talking about us.” Ash shrugs and you hum in agreement, a small smile on your face. 

“You guys are the only people I would want to be famous with.” You say genuinely and they roll their eyes but hug you anyway. The three of them squashing you in a very tight cuddle, leaving you a little breathless due to all the body spray they used this morning. 

“How about bullied?” Michael says sarcastically making you shove him. 

----

“Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit!” You’re practically crying as you rush down the stairs of your home. Ash, Calum and Michael are standing at the bottom, talking to your mom when you appear and they stare at you confused and concerned at the state you’re in. 

“Language!” Your mom scolds and you roll your eyes but still mumble a small apology. Her stern looking face soon melts, being replaced by a bright smile as she looks between you and the boys. “Have you told them yet?” She asks and you shake your head quickly. 

They look between you and your mom, even more confused expressions on their faces before you’re grabbing Ash and Calum’s hand and dragging them up the stairs, Michael quickly following behind. 

“Keep the door open!” She shouts and you roll your eyes, despite the giggling you hear from the boys behind you. 

“Okay! But nothings going to happen! They’re not my type!” You reply, making sure to look at them when you say the end of your sentence. Michael is about to retort when you push them all into your room and slam the door closed behind you. Your mom shouts about something but you don’t care, you need to tell them this now. “Sit down.” You tell them and they surprisingly do as their told.

“Whats up? Are you okay?” Michael asks. 

“Yeah, you sounded really urgent on the phon-.” 

“One fucking Direction know who we are!” You interrupt Ash. 

“We know that.” Calum replies. “Did we really have to be here for you to tell us that? We also have a Twitter.” 

“Plus, that happened ages ago.” Michael rolls his eyes at you. 

“Thats not the end dumbass.” You huff. “Just, shut up and listen. So, One Direction know who we are, and we’ve been working on our EP and stuff. Basically we’ve done a lot in like a year. But we’re going to be a lot bigger. We’re going on tour with them. We’re going to be their opening act!!!!” You practically squeal the last part and they stare at you dumbfounded, the same look on each of their faces as they take in the news. 

“What?” Ash blinks. 

“We’re going on tour?” Michael asks. 

“With One Direction?” Cal adds and you smile excitedly, nodding your head frantically. 

“Holy shit!!!!” Michael shouts and jumps up and down. The other two boys following suit and then you join in, the four of you jumping up and down. 

“This is crazy. This is crazy. This is crazy.” You repeat over and over again.

“Michael, what have I told you about using language like that in this house?” Your mom asks and she opens the door. 

“Sorry Mrs Y/l/n.” He mumbles, the four of your breaking apart to look at her. 

“And Y/n...door.” She motions to it and sighs. However, her sigh is quickly replaced by a proud smile as she looks at you all. “You’re going to do amazing things.”

-----

“Okay.” Calum appears beside you, a cup of coffee in his hand and sunglasses covering his eyes. “This is going to sound really stupid, but what CD singing is this because I’m not even sure what year it is.” 

“The newest one.” You roll your eyes at him, but there’s still a laugh bubbling from your lips as you take in the appearance of your friend. Despite yesterday being your birthday, Calum definitely drank the most and now he’s so hungover, it took the three of you to drag him out of bed today.

“Which is?” 

“C.A.L.M.” Ash shouts in his ear making him groan loudly. “Can you remember where we are?” 

“Yes, I’m not an idiot. We’re back home.” 

“What are you talking about Calum, we’re in England.” 

“Wha-?” 

“No, we’re not.” You interrupt and look at Ash disappointed. “Don’t listen to him Cal.” 

“You’re no fun.” Ash pouts. 

“Does it look like I care?” You flip him off and he pulls a funny face before unlocking his phone. “How’s Crystal?” You turn your attention to Michael who’s staring off into nothing. 

“Still asleep.” He mumbles. 

“How did you guys drink more than me? It was my birthday?” 

“Because you’re the baby of the group. We need to drink for you.” Ash states like its the simplest thing in the world and you purse your lips. “Plus, your mom would kill you and then us if you got as drunk as Cal.” 

“My mom isn’t here.” You match his tone. 

“Yeah, but she’d know. So we’re doing you a favour.” He replies, effectively shutting the conversation down and you stick your tongue out at him which makes him roll his eyes.  

“I’m going to go look around before the signing. We have half an hour right?” 

“Yeah.” He replies. “Be careful.” 

“Don’t worry. I have my hat on, no one will ever know its me.” You smile sarcastically at him and he mirrors it before flipping you off. 

“Bring me back some coffee!” 

“No!” You shout back. 

“Thanks!” 

“Why are you guys so loud?” You hear Calum groan as you walk away. 

You haven’t got much to explore, seeing as though you’re in a relatively small building, but its something you do before any event anyway. Whether it be a CD signing like this or if you’re just about to go one stage, you go for a little walk to try and calm your nerves. You hum Close as Strangers as you go, thinking about all the new people you’re going to be meeting and if you might see somebody you already know from previous events. You also try and block out the slight thudding of your head due to the shots Michael bought yesterday. You round the corner, while staring at the floor, but instead of walking any further forward, you end up smacking into the chest of a very tall man. 

You can feel yourself falling backwards but everything moves to quickly for you to break your fall, and you’re always carrying your phone, however you feel a pair of hands on your arms steadying you. 

As soon as you look up at the man that almost killed you, any annoyance you had melt away. His bright blue eyes seem to pierce right through you as he looks at you over concerned. 

“Are you okay?” He asks, and holy shit he’s Australian! Which is really a surprise seeing as though you’re back home, but his accent sounds much better than your friends, you could never tire of listening to him talk. “I’m Luke.” The stranger sticks his hand out in front of him.

“Y/n.” You shake his hand and he smiles warmly at you. The sight of which makes you freeze for a few seconds. Its bright and happy and it could light up a room within seconds.

“Are you okay?” He repeats his previous question, the same look of concern on his face. “I didn’t give you a concussion right?” 

“What? No. I er. Sorry.” You shake your head. “I should have been looking where I was going.” 

“Oh, no. It was my fault. I was on my phone.” He waves you off. “Are you lost?” He asks and you stare up at him confused. “Its just, you kind of look a little lost.” And then it dawns on you. He has no idea who you are. You don’t know whether to be relieved or offended. 

“No, no. I’m supposed to be here. Hold on.” You say and pull your badge from your back pocket. “See.” 

“Ohhh. Sorry, it’s just we’re supposed to ask if we see someone without their pass on.” 

“Oh, you work here?” 

“Yeahhhh. Which I know doesn’t seem like it since I have no idea who you are.” He sighs making you giggle. 

Now that he looks at you properly, you kind of look familiar, but he still has no idea who you are. He’s too distracted to think about it anyway. The sound of your laugh could instantly distract him from anything, and the way your lips curl upwards and your eyes crinkle a little while you laugh makes his heart skip a beat. 

“I honestly don’t really do much. I’m usually at the front, not backstage.” 

“Oh, well then I suppose its okay if you don’t recognize me then.” You tease and the two of you laugh softly. 

“So, who exactly are you?” 

“Wow, very to the point. I like it.” You laugh. “I’m Y/n. I’m in a band. 5 Seconds of Summer.” 

“Ohhh-no.” He shakes his head. “I still have no idea. Wait, tell me one of your songs.” 

“Old or new?” 

“Most famous.” He says and you pull a face.

“I honestly have no idea what our most famous song is.” 

“Are you sure you’re in the band?” He asks sarcastically and you roll your eyes. “Or am I in danger.” 

“Ha. Ha.” You deadpan. “Ermm. Well one of our earlier songs was He Looks So Perfect. I think thats the one that sort of got us attention. One of our newer ones is Youngblood.” 

“Oh, I know that one.” He smiles, but then it turns into a grimace.

“You didn’t like it did you?” 

“No, its not that I didn’t like it. Its just, not really my thing.” 

“Wow.” You shake your head. “This is the worst day of my life.” 

“Shut up.” He nudges you. “I’m sure if I heard more of your songs I’d like them.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” You wave your hand dismissively. “There’s just some holes you can’t dig yourself out of.” 

“I’m sorry.” He sighs and looks at the floor. 

“Its fine.” You laugh. “Hey, I don’t know who you are so why should I expect you to know who I am.” 

“I think you’re the first famous person to ever think like that.” 

“Please, I’m far from famous.” 

“Oh yeah?” He raises an eyebrow. “How many albums have you had?” 

“Do you want main ones or EP’s too?” 

“See.” 

“Fine. Point proven. You win this round.” You say begrudgingly and check your phone. “Oh, shit. It was lovely meeting you Luke but I’ve got a CD signing to get to. Have a good day!” You say quickly and look at him. He’s about to say something, his mouth is slightly open and its on the tip of his tongue ‘can i have your number’. But it never leaves his lips...like you would say yes to him anyway. 

“You too!” He waves you off as he watches you go.

“There you are!” Ash smiles once he see’s you and the other two boys stop talking to glance at you before they continue with their conversation. “Did you get my coffee?” He asks, his smile dropping as he looks at your empty hands. 

“Oh, shit no. Sorry.” You shake your head and he pouts playfully at you. “I kind of got a bit distracted.” You smile to yourself as you think about Luke. 

“Oooo. I know that smile.” Michael teases, now joining in with yours and Ash’s conversation. This intrigues Calum enough to move from his spot on the floor to standing beside you, all three of them looking at you with knowing smiles. 

“Y/n met a boyyyyy.” Ash teases. 

“I’m sorry. How old are you all?” You cross your arms and raise an eyebrow. “You call me the baby.” 

“And here I thought you were just waiting to ask me out.” Calum places a hand over his heart, a pout on his face. 

“Shut up.” You shove him. 

“Ow!” 

----

“This is actually ridiculous. Why can’t you get your own coffee?” You complain  as you walk into the coffee shop, muttering a quick thank you to the woman that holds the door open for you. You move your phone from one ear to the other, using your shoulder to keep it in place while you root through your bag for your purse, completely tuning out of whatever Ash is rambling about. “Really? You’re the most recognizable out of the band? Are you being serious? I’m the only girl, I think that alone makes me more recognizable. We have never been mistaken for each other...okay, there was that one time but that was years ago.” You admit and you can practically feel his smug smile down the phone. “Whatever, I’ll be back soon....yeah, yeah. Love you too.” 

“Is that your boyfriend?” A familiar voice asks making you jump. 

“Luke?” Your eyes light up as you take in his appearance, he doesn’t look as startled as the first time you saw him, but he still looks pretty and you have to take a few moments to get yourself together. “Are you stalking me? Should I be worried?” You tease and he chuckles a little. 

“I don’t know who you are remember.” 

“Oh yeah. I forgot you’ve been living under a rock for the past 9 years.” 

“Oh, is that how it is? The last time we met you said, and I quote ‘please, I’m far from famous’, so has something happened in the past four hours?” 

“Well, I did meet a lot of people. So maybe fame really has changed me.” 

“Its like I don’t even know who you are.” He feigns sadness. 

“You don’t know who I am anyway.” You shove him lightly and he laughs loudly, a few people turning to look at the two of you stood off just to the side of the cafe. “But to answer your question. No that wasn’t my boyfriend. That was my band mate. And before you ask, no I haven’t dated any of them.” You say and he holds his hands up defensively. 

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” 

“Sorry.” You sigh. “Its just, when you’re the only girl in a band full of guys, they kind of assume thats the only reason you’re there.” 

“I get that.” 

“Do you get accused of sleeping with a lot of guys too?” You ask and he rolls his eyes. 

“Not like that. But I understand. Plus, even if you slept with all three of them, whats it got to do with anybody else?” 

“True.” You hum. 

“Now, which one were you talking to? Calum, Michael or Ashton?” 

“I don’t know whether to be offended or impressed. Either I’m the only one you didn’t know, or you’ve been doing your research.” 

“Its the latter.” He says, a soft blush creeping up his neck and spreading over his cheeks as he looks at the floor. 

“Wow. What else do you know. Impress me.” 

“You like penguins?” Its more of a question than a statement but it makes you laugh anyway. 

“Wow. Thats very 2014.” 

“Sorry. I only got so far down you Wiki page.” He sighs making you snort. 

“Ignore that.” You blush. 

“There’s another thing to add to your page. ‘Y/n Y/l/n, snorts when extremely handsome men make her laugh’. How much would I get if I sold that to the media?” 

“Why? Do you see any extremely handsome men around?” 

“Ouch.” He frowns. 

“So, did you learn anything useful from the internet?” 

“I know your mom had to join you on tour because of how young you were when you first started.” He laughs making you sigh, your hands instantly covering your face. 

“Oh god.” You mumble. “It was only for a little bit. And she doesn’t come anymore...usually.” You add and now its his turn to snort, making you laugh loudly. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell the press.” 

“I’m not famous.” He shrugs. 

“You will be if you spotted with me.” 

“Oooo, is that a promise?” He says and there’s a hint of flintiness in his tone. 

“Shut up.” You say shyly and he giggles a little. 

“You never answered my question. Who was on the phone.” 

“Oh, it was Ash. Apparently I’m not only the fourth member of the band but I’m also his personal assistant.” You explain and he looks down at you confused. “He wants coffee, I was supposed to get it before, but then I bumped in to you...quite literally.” 

“Order away then.” He steps out of your way and motions to the counter dramatically making you laugh. Once you’ve ordered you stand off to the side and Luke joins you, hand stuffed in his jean pockets. “Happy birthday for yesterday by the way.” 

“What?” You look at him slightly concerned but as soon as he shows you his phone you smile. “Ohhh, you read it on the internet.” 

“Obviously.” 

“Thanks.” 

“No problem.” He shrugs. “Did you have a good one?” 

“Yeah.” You smile. “It was fun. We all got drunk. But surprisingly I was the most sober out of everyone.” 

“On your own birthday? Disgraceful.” 

“Thats what I said!” You exclaim. “So, do you learn everything about everyone through the internet?”

“Nah, you’re the exception.” 

“I feel honored.” You grin. 

“If you want.” He says quietly. “We could get to know each other properly. Like not on the internet. Maybe over dinner or something. I don’t know what your schedule is like but maybe your free tomorro-” 

“I’m free now.” You interrupt and his eyebrows furrow. 

“What about Ash and his coffee?” 

“Screw Ash and his coffee. He needs to cut down anyway.” 

----

“Do you want me to walk you back to wherever you’re staying?” He asks as the two of you leave the small cafe. The sun has just began to set, painting the sky with a mix of pinks and purples and you can’t help but smile up at it. Luke takes a moment to just stare at you. You’re truly beautiful, and he only met you this morning but he can already feel himself falling for you more and more with each passing second. But it isn’t a bad fall. Its more like he’s floating. 

“Yeah.” You nod. “Sure. I’m just going to text the boys so they know nothing bad has happened to me.” You say and he nods, letting you do what you need to do. The two of you walk in silence down the quiet street, the only sound being you typing quickly. “Done!” You smile at him. “Luke?” You ask and he feels breathless at the way you say his name. 

“Yeah?” 

“I really enjoyed today.” 

“Me too.” He smiles softly. 

“Would you maybe like to do it again?” You ask quietly, a timid blush appearing on your cheeks as you refuse to look at him. 

“Yeah. That would be nice.” He nods and the two of you smile shyly at each other. “I can’t believe you know One Direction.” He changes the subject, scared that the slight drop in conversation would make you change your mind. “Now, there’s a band that I know.” 

“Wow.” You say shocked. “So you know One Direction but not us? I’m very disappointed.” You shake your head and you can tell he’s about to start apologizing so you quickly tell him you’re joking and he chuckles awkwardly. “So, who’s you’re favourite.” 

“Definitely Harry.” He replies far too quickly. 

“He’s very nice.” You tell him and he smiles. 

“Thats nice to know.” He nods to himself. 

“I’m glad I made you happy.” 

“You did that the minute we met.” He says and you look at him shocked. “I said that out loud didn’t I?” 

“Yep.” 

“Damn.” 

“But snap.” 

“Oh.” He shrugs. “Well, thats good isn’t it?” He giggles a little but when he doesn’t here you laugh he stops and turns to face you, but you’re not beside him, you’ve stopped a little way back. “What are you doing?” He asks confused.  

“This is where I’m staying.” You gesture to the hotel behind you. 

“Oh.” The confused smile drops from his face as he shuffles towards you. “I felt like we were only walking for like two seconds.” 

“Yeah.” You nod sadly. “Me too.” 

“Do you want my number?” He asks and your face lights up a little. 

“That would be great.” You smile and the two of you swap numbers. “I’ll text you.” 

“Yeah.” He says. “It was nice hanging out with you.” 

“You too.” You reply and send him a sad wave before turning around and walking up the steps. You stop at the top and take a deep breath, your hand hovering over the handle. “Luke?” You turn around and he looks up at you, a hopeful expression on his face. “It’s not that late and it doesn’t seem that busy, do you want to walk around for a bit longer?” 

“Sure.” He says as casually as he can, when in reality he’s freaking out inside. “I’d like that.” More like I’d love that. Literally there’s nothing I’d rather do. 

----

“Okay, Luke’s going to be here any minute. Please don’t fuck this up.” You stare at each of your bandmates individually as you pace the floor in front of your bed. 

The four of you are back in your childhood bedroom, having a small break before you start touring and honestly it feels like you’re in high school again. The three of them are messing around and trying to out-gross each other while you look at them and wonder how you ended up stuck with them. 

You and Luke have been dating for a few months and because you’re back at home for a few weeks, and he only lives a few towns over (something you found very weird at first), you think its time to introduce him to your family, blood related and not. 

You’ve already given your mom the talk of not embarrassing you and she very begrudgingly agreed before rushing to the store to get supplies for dinner. So now you just had to deal with your bandmates, your very embarrassing bandmates that you’ve been friends with for almost ten years meaning they know every single stupid thing you’ve ever done in your life, and they will do anything to annoy you. 

“We’ll be on our best behavior, we promise.” Ash reassures you. 

“Everything’s going to be fine.” Cal adds and you look at him unsure.

“We love you, despite what you think. We’re not going to ruin your only chances at true love.” Michael says seriously, making Ash and Calum both punch him at the same time. “Ow!” He rubs both his arms. “It was a joke. She’s laughing!” 

“It still wasn’t very nice.” Ash mutters. 

“Anyway.” You shake your head. “Please, just be nice okay. You guys get way too overprotective.” 

“We do not.” Michael argues. “But be warned, if he breaks your heart, we will beat him up.” 

“Oh, also before he gets here. We’ve all talked and we promise we won’t tell him about the time you got so drunk, you locked yourself in the bathroom whilst crying and by the time the firemen came, you’d stripped off and fallen asleep in the bath.” 

“Wow.” You hear Luke’s familiar voice behind you and the four of you freeze. 

“Luke?” You ask hesitantly and the boys all look away, each of them trying to stifle a smile/laugh. “Why are you in my room?” You turn to face him and he giggles a little. 

“Your mom let me in because I helped her bring the shopping in. But thats not what I want to talk about. Why did you lock yourself in a bathroom crying and then strip off and get in a bath?” 

“Because I was drunk.” You mumble and he giggles. “Anywayyyy.” You change the subject. “Luke, these are the boys. Ash, Cal and Michael. 

“Hi.” 

“Hey.” 

“Sup.” 

“Nobody says sup anymore Michael.” Calum says and the two of them start to bicker. 

“Do you see what I have to put up with?” You ask and move closer to him. 

“Yes. And my heart bleeds for you.” He replies and wraps his arms around you. “But they seem sweet.” 

“Yeah, you don’t have to share a tour bus with them.” You grumble and he pouts at you. The two of you smile at each other before you press a soft kiss to his lips, however its quickly interrupted by a chorus of gagging and booing. 

“Mrs Y/l/n! She’s kissing a boy in here!” Michael shouts making you groan and rest your head against Luke’s chest. 

“Y/n! What have I told you about boys in your room! And you better have that door open!” 

“Jesus Christ.” You mutter. “I hate you so much.” You glare at him and the three of them laugh. “At least now there is someone in here that is my type.” 

“Rude.” 

----

“We’re gonna sing an old one now!” Michael shouts and the crowd screams.

“Hell yeah! Let me paint you a word picture! Is everyone ready?” You add and they scream louder. Calum and Michael sit down on stage in front of you, their chins resting in their hands as they look up at you. You giggle at your friends before turning around to look at Ash who’s also doing the same thing at the drums. “Okay, its 2014. A bleak February is staring you in the face, you don’t know how you’re going to face another Monday. And then, you get a notification, and it says...The best band in the world has just uploaded their music video of He Looks So Perfect to Youtube. You scream aloud, your Monday has been saved! Hooray! Plus to make it even better you get to see your favourite people in their undies! Anyway, when my delightful bandmates decide to get back to work, here’s He Looks So Perfect!” 

“You should write stories Y/n.” Cal says as he walks back to his microphone. 

“Did you just think of that on the spot?” Ash asks and you turn to face him.  

“Duh, I’m not just a pretty face you know.” You wink and he chuckles before starting to play. 

----

“Had to fuck it up before I let you get to know me.” You and Calum sing the final lyrics to Old Me before the stage goes black and the crowd goes to wild. You smile at the boys and they return it. You don’t think you could ever get sick of this feeling, or of seeing how happy they are. You really have come a long way, and there really isn’t anybody else you’d rather do it with. 

Calum nods just behind you and you look at him confused before turning around and see Luke grinning at you, a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a tray of coffee’s in the other. 

“Has he got coffee?” Ash mouths and Michael nods excitedly. “I think I may love him more than Y/n does.” 

You wave at him excitedly, and a little shocked because you didn’t think he’d be here tonight. The last time you spoke to him he said he had to work and that he was disappointed he was missing the only show in the place closest to where he lives. He does a little excited dance while he smiles at you and then the lights come back on and you send him one last smile before looking back out into the sea of people. 

The four of you chat for a few minutes, asking if everyone has enjoyed themselves before you announce your final song of the night. 

“Now, we’re gonna finish the night off with a Skid Row song!” You glance at Luke who’s still smiling just as proudly. “This is 18 and Life!!!” The stage goes dark, a single spotlight staying on you and the entire crowd goes silent. You take a deep breath and close your eyes before starting to sing. 

As soon as your song is over and you’ve said goodbye to the crowd you run off stage, straight into Luke’s arms. Thankfully he’s put the stuff he was holding down, well rather Ash took the coffee off him and Calum stole the flowers but you neither of you care. And Luke doesn’t really seem to care that you’re all sweaty and gross, despite your protests after you hug him quickly, he just tightens his grip on you, pulling you closer to him. 

“What are you doing here?” You mumble in his ear. 

“I wanted to see you.” He replies and presses a soft kiss to your head. “I’ve missed you. And I wasn’t going to miss this.” 

“What about work.” 

“I swapped my shift.” He laughs. “I can’t believe you’ve just played a massive show in your hometown, and thats what you’re worried about.”

“I just love you thats all. I worry about you.” 

“You love me?” He asks and stares at you and its like he’s looking right into your soul with those deep blue eyes. 

“I-err-” 

“Of course she does.” Michael says casually. “She talks about you constantly. Honestly, if you didn’t bring us coffee, we’d be sick of you.” 

“Thats very true.” Ash agrees.

“I think they were having a moment.” Calum says, and the three of them look between the two of you before back at each other. 

“Sorry.” Ash and Michael shrug before walking towards their dressing rooms, Calum sends you an awkward smile before following. 

“I love you too.” Luke looks at you. “I love you so much.” 

“Well that is a relief.” You laugh a little. “Because this would have been super awkward.” 

“I am super awkward.” 

“Yeah, true.” You nod. “But I like it so its okay.” 

instagram that goes with this!

[quarktrinity]

Thank you for your Rich post. I think you added a lot to the fandom. Unfortunately, I think a lot of the Fandom Discourse comes from the source itself. As much as I love BMC, I felt it bit off more than it could chew. Jake's own traumas would take an entire musical itself to truly address; same thing for Rich, Brooke, Christine, etc. Musicals only last for 2 hours or less. [1/4 tictac anon]

“They can only truly address so many things, and it certainly cannot resolve everything it brings up, esp if it's heavy things in a musical such as BMC. Imo, we really shouldn't pretend otherwise. But your Rich post brought up some interesting points. You're right; ultimately, Rich DID decide to light himself on fire inside his friend's house with TONS of classmates inside. And he DID choose to bully Jeremy and likely others. [2/4 tictac anon] However, we see that Jeremy could not see Michael or his messages and was constantly bombarded with distractions. Plus, at the end of the musical, Jeremy's movements were starting to get controlled by the SQUIP! Therefore, it doesn't seem quite black & white. Freewill being compromised due to technology is an uncomfortable subject, but I believe it's something the musical DOES address. [3/4 tictac anon] 

After all, the creators did confirm that the theory of the ending being planned by the SQUIP all along was an intentionally valid theory. Not canon but a possibility. "A shared negative opinion is the fastest social bond. You want someone to like you... hate who they hate." -- when the SQUIP looked like a common bad guy and gave Jeremy more friends in the end. What are your thoughts on that? [4/4 tictac anon]”

----------

this is all very thought out! im impressed, tictac anon!

i understand the feeling that bmc bit off more than it could chew for character complexity, as it would introduce concepts and not have time to follow through on them. however, i think that this is actually a good thing in a way (while it is fair to criticize), because bmc isnt really about those kids, its about jeremy and his navigation through this social world. 

when his peers are introduced, they appear very one dimensional, simple, cartoony almost, but in sync up, jeremys view of them gets turned upside down as the squip reveals to him that theres more to them than meets the eye. throughout the rest of the musical we see, through his perspective, that all of these kids have a lot of baggage, and its never quite dealt with within the story, but thats not why the story revealed the baggage. their baggage isnt dealt with because its not their story, its jeremys. instead, were shown the complexity of these characters solely for the sake of jeremys understanding of them, not for any character arc they might have. this is actually used when jeremy takes advantage of jennas insecurities in “the pitiful children” to get her to take a squip. he tries the same with christine, but fails. the supporting characters are given depth not to develop them, but to show jeremy and the audience that no one is quite as simple as theyd like you to believe.

on the subject of free will, i think it is an interesting topic the musical discusses (i even consider it psychological horror in a way), but i genuinely dont think that rich was always forced against his will to bully kids. he mightve been a few times, but its definitely not a constant. the reason i think this is that from jeremys experiences, the squip mainly gives him advice, and uses brute force to prove a point to him (see: when the squip forces jeremy to say “my dad drinks too” to show that lying is often the best way to make a friend). brute force is used to establish a cause and effect for jeremy, so he can initiate the process on his own in the future. people might wonder why jeremy snapped at michael at the party, but its really quite obvious: jeremys been conditioned by the squip to engage with that behavior. even when its shut off, the lessons the squip taught him remain. i believe the same process occurred with richs bullying. his squip, at first, mightve forced rich to bully someone, only to show rich that it would result in people liking him, so hed do it on his own later. the squips seem to only resort to brute force when being threatened by their hosts, so i doubt hes just a puppet in strings all the time.

and, as a person whos written 4 musicals (humble-brag intended), i can say with confidence that people can come up with interpretations or theories about your work that you definitely didnt intend, but wont reject because, as any playwright knows, all of what you know about the story is whats in the script. there are no secrets here, no hidden lore, everything in the script is what the story is. so when joe tracz was approached with the “the squip intended the ending the whole time” theory, he probably thought “oh shit! thatd be so cool! cant confirm nor deny that, regardless of my intentions, because technically it would work within the script!” in fact, with any particular production, the director might actually know more about the story of their specific production more than the writers, and the actors will definitely know more about their characters than the writers do. thats something i find really beautiful about theatre as a story-telling medium.

so that theory probably wasnt intended, but that doesnt mean its not true! the events behind the script are always up to anyones interpretation, whether thats the writers themselves, the directors, the actors, or even the audience!

thanks for sending me these asks, they were really fun to answer!

[unfortunatematchups]

its been real, guys.

this blog came to be because four people had a shared passion and wanted to make something out of it. maybe the amount of love we had to this blog wasnt all equal, some of us loved homestuck and writing match ups more than the others.

but as this blog ages, so does our love for homestuck. with homestuck 2 absolutely destroying everything ive come to love about homestuck, ive found that i actually have a weaker grasp and understanding on the characters than i actually do. i can no longer find myself able to match people accurately to my liking.

ive done all i could, really, genuinely, truthfully and painfully. ive done my best not to let homestuck 2, beyond the absolute garbage fire of what i cant bring myself to consider canon, affect how i see and feel about the kids. the trolls havent suffered much slander on their part, not yet anyway. i still love the trolls i love, but the same cant be said for the kids. knowing that this is how the kids turn out to be is crushing and ruins everything ive come to know and love about the characters, even if i never liked some of them that much anyway.

its like watching or reading a horrifying scene or truth about something you love. it taints the image and starts to make you really doubt just whether or not you really knew that thing you claim to love. throughout homestuck 2 ive just been asking myself, ‘is this really the same story?’

i probably shouldnt let some botched writing ruin my perception of what i love. but the damage has been done. theres no point in me writing the characters as they were in homestuck, pretending that what they do in homestuck 2 didnt happen. the final statement is that homestuck 2 hurt the love i had for homestuck, and while im upset that i let it do so, theres nothing i can do. im not going to try and revitalise the passion i had. ive better things to obsess over, and i refuse to waste it on homestuck.

im writing this so that any of you following this blog or have the intent to can see this and reevaluate whether or not you really want to follow or keep following. right now theres nintey-four people following, and id be lying if i said i wasnt surprised by how many people actually like the stuff were making.

a part of why im making the grand decision to close this blog is because its run its course. like my previous post stated, im the only one still writing for it. the other writer has other shit going on and so do i. im not going to force the other mods to write for this blog, and neither am i going to force myself to choke out something. i know when something is dying, and i know when to let it rest. the last post i made, i still had a little bit of fight left in me. i thought that if someone came in with a stupid good request, it would reignite that flame and let me get back into the groove of writing. it didnt. theres a lovely five part request that gives me plenty of inspiration, but i was kidding myself.

by the time id made that post, i think its safe to say that most of us lost that spark of adrenaline we had in the beginning. there was a slim chance i was going to keep it running, and the wheel didnt land on it.

i thought i knew the characters. and maybe i do, but not as closely as i once did. i no longer have the ability to write up something that matches bits and pieces of both personalities together to form a complete, satisfying puzzle. im just staring at a paragraph of bullshit that i cant string together long enough to properly read it, let alone make a response to it. im losing whatever investment i put into homestuck, and its showing. i havent even thought about homestuck all that much in these few months. thats not to say i wont still love john, dave and equius, but they take less space in my heart than they used to.

another part of why im closing this blog is so i wont have to have it nagging at the back of my mind. since february ive always kept this blog in the back of my mind, checking in on it once every few weeks to see if theres a new ask or follow. and there is. people are still following this blog, waiting for a response, waiting for the content that this blog provided. im not going to lie, there probably wont be. maybe i can refurbish it for something else, but as of now, this blog is going to be left alone. 

thats all. thanks for taking the time to read this. theres no proper way to explain why this blog is closing, so this is the best i can and will do. its been real, and im glad i could make some people happy with the matches. 

to mod spaghetti, thanks for checking in on this blog from time to time, giving ur lil posts here and there, and helping with some of the matches. stay vibin, cryptid.

to mod pie, thanks for writing those non homestuck requests. i dont know how to comfort people, so i hope the memes im sending you help, even if by a little. keep vibin with ur nasty owo shit

and to mod tamago. thanks for those late night editing sessions where i would just vomit words and youd clean up the mistakes. who knew i made so many, huh? heres to hopefully getting any grade above c for our future modules.

[captiancap]

Man eater (pt. 2)

You decided to meet in the town square. Plently of people and in the middle of the day. Although Mastiff had promised you there would be no funny buisness you still wanted to be safe.

You sit on the ledge of the fountain, arms crossed, foot tapping and try to pretend your heart doesn't skip a beat when you see him in the distance. He's in all black, as usual. He looks no different from when you were dating.

He sits next to you and stays quiet. You remain silent aswell, he's the one who wanted to talk. After a few minutes Mastiff sighs. He looks at you and up close you can see he looks tired.

"I'm not going to apologise." He says.

Oh. This. Motherfucker.

You go off. You hadn't meant to. The plan was to sit and hear him out and depending on how you felt at the end, report him to the police or not. But looks like that wasn't happening.

He listens to you rant. Every angry, anxiety filled word was taken in by him. You talk about how you feel like you're going crazy, how you aren't sure you'll ever trust him again, how cold it is at night without his arms around you, how disgusted you feel knowing that he's kissed you with the same mouth that he eats people-

He clasps a hand over your mouth and pulls you back down so you're sitting. Apparently you had been pacing and shouting that whole time, drawing a crowd. He turns his head in the direction of the people, being thoroughly terrifying with no need for words, and they go back to thier buisness.

His hand is making it a bit hard to breath so you tap his arm and he lets go. "That," he sighs, "I will apologise for. I didn't mean to grab you. I panicked. I'm sorry." He sounds so genuine when he says this.

You glare at him. You say nothing, mostly because if you tried you'd probably start crying. He sighs again and runs his hand over his face. He acts like this is hard on him.

"I am not going to apologise for being honest with you, and I'm not going to apologise for my biology. Yes I could've told you sooner. I also could have kept it from you my whole life but I saw no point in it." He says, sounding rather sure of himself as always.

You ask him why there would be no point. He's hidden so well from so many people for so long he sould be an expert. Hell, you were convinced he was a normal guy for well over half a year.

He smiles a little bit, "I didn't want to be a 'normal guy' to you. I wanted to be something more serious. And lets be honest, if I was a normal guy you wouldn't have even given me a second glance." He chuckles and it seems just like old times.

You can't help the blush that creeps onto your face. It's true that his strange nature was what drew you to him. Admittedly, looking back on things now, there were some odd things that you should have questioned.

He never ate infront of you, he would sit with you at meals but only eat the smallest amount, but he was always so big. You never saw his eyes or back, you figured he was just self conscious and didnt want to make him uncomfortable. The sheer amount of strength he had would be enough to tip someone off but all it did was make you hot under the collar.

You were so stupid. Maybe love made you blind? No. Never again. You see through his tricks now. He's a monster.

You look at his face and the sentence you were about to say dies on your tongue. You feel him peering through his bangs at you. He's tired, you're tired. God you need a nap.

You jump slightly when you feel the cool touch of his hand on yours. You glance down to where he's lacing your fingers together. You should pull away but it's been a long time since someones held your hand. It feels good.

He sighs, "I won't apologise for who I am. Or what I need. But I can promise you, if you choose to have me, there will be no more secrets. You'll never have to he scared or confused ever again." He brings his other hand to your face and caresses your cheek softly.

"Please," He says "I love you."

Thats when you break. You rip your hand away from him and stand up so fast you get whiplash. You start briskly walking away from the foutain, away from the square, god, just, away from him.

You can hear him calling for you as you leave but he doesn't chase you. A small part of you wishes he would. Have him run after you and tackle you to the ground, out right refusing to let you go. But he would never do that.

You cry the whole ride back to your friend's apartment. When you walk through the door she sees you and rushes over. She comforts you as best she can and listens to the whole story but... It's not as good as him.

You can see it in her face that she doesn't understand but she's trying her best. You knew she was your friend for a reason. As you finish telling her the whole ordeal she pats your back and nods. Theres silence for a bit but it's broken when she takes a deep breath and says the dumbest thing you've ever heard.

"I think you should get back together with him." She says rather fast. You stare at her. She takes this as an okay to continue.

"It's just... You were so happy with him. And yeah this is a rough spot but he sounded like he really wanted you back. You always said he was reasonable. I'm sure if you gave him another chance he'd be willing to like... Go vegetarian or something?" She said with a shrug.

You stare at her. Then the wall. Then the floor. You feel like you want to throw up and cry. This is crazy. You can't go back to him. He could eat you.

But... Maybe he could change... Or at least try.

You head to the guest room where you've been sleeping for the past few weeks and flop on the bed. You want to just sink into oblivion. This is all crazy. All of it. The fact that you are considering what your friend said is also crazy.

You eventually fall asleep.

When you dream its similar to one you've had long ago. You are back in that cursed warehouse, poking around without fear or care that these belongings aren't yours. You hear the scuttling again.

You shine your flashlight at the wall, seeing nothing, then at the floor. When you look down there are tiny spider crawling about. They aren't swarming or trying to hurt you, just minding thier own buisness.

You step over then and head to the container you know is in here. It seems to appear out of nowhere. Plops down right infront of you. The lid is gone.

You shine your light inside. There's nothing. The tiny spiders start crawling into the container and a large wave of them brings the previously hidden lid. They set it down in front of you and you take it.

They all look so cozy in the dark cramped space. You can feel the thousands of tiny eyes staring at you intently. You look at the lid in your hands. You should close this. Cap it off and send them back in the dark where no one has to look at them any more.

You throw the lid across the room. It smacks against the wall and the whole room shakes. The spiders stir in thier plastic prison. Without thinking you plunge your hand into the containter.

You get bitten, yes. Tiny fangs dig into your skin but you feel no regret. You search around in the bottomless abyss, what exactly you're looking for is unclear.

You feel something cold brush against your hand. You pause for a moment. It seems to be grasping for your arm. You take a deep breath and grab hold of the object.

He holds your hand, fingers laced together, like always. You're both coverd in spiders but it's okay. He's holding you and that's what matters. The spiders don't bite you and it feels good to have his weight against you again.

You can hear thousands of hissing whispers. He says something to you but you cant hear him over the hissing. You ask him to repeat it. The whispers seem to double over each other making your head hurt.

He holds your hands together and rests his forhead on yours. Theres a soft rumbling coming from his chest. You look at him and smile softly.

"I want to show you something." You manage to hear over all the other noise. You're about to ask him what it is when you suddenly get woken up.

You flail slightly in the bed and look around for any danger. You don't see any immediate threats, however, there is a vibration in your pocket. You rub your eyes and roll over.

After the fourth vibration you manage to tug your phone out of your pocket. You look at the collar ID and almost choke. Its him. He's calling you. What are you going to do?

Answer it of course. He's your boyfriend after all.

You press accept and sit against the head board. It's quiet for a few seconds. He mumbles something in Russian that you can't make out. You ask him to repeat himself.

"I want to show you something." He says, cautious. You think for a minute.

"I was serious when I said there would be no more secrets. I want to show you I mean it." He elaborates. You remind him that he only said that would be the case if the two of you got back together. He's silent.

You sit there for a bit then sigh. You get off the bed and look through the closet for something to wear. He hears the noise and asks what you are doing. You tell him that if he planned to kill you then you at least wanted to die wearing something nice.

You hear him wince a bit at the joke, but he chuckles after a second.

"I'll be at your work." He says and hangs up.

You are definitely crazy.

[thegeminisage]

ooooh i'd love to hear G, I, J, and M for the ask meme! (I also want to ask about K but i'm genuinely afraid for the answer)

BLESS YOU it was so sweet of u to send me this many

G: Care to share a favorite crack fic?

as a rule i don’t do crack exactly but my favorite funny fic is…from marvel, and It’s The One About The Cow. if you were even vaguely into the fanfic scene post winter soldier, i promise you have read it. here it is. the author sure does have a way with words, i wonder whatever happened to her

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

i do but i don’t know what to call it or how to describe it. in fanfic there seems to be like…a tag for every genre/trope but there is not one for mine! but anything that’s like really super emotionally intense or fraught without being out of character or turning someone into a woobie - for instance, a demon and a hunter fall in love despite the fact that they should hate and fear one another, or a werewolf and a hunter, or a mage and someone who abhors magic, or a sorcerer and a king who banned sorcery…i just listed like half of my otps i’ve ever had and i still haven’t gotten it across quite right, but you get the idea. i love Heavy Shit and Exploration Of Trauma and Reluctant Emotional Vulnerability. sometimes people tag this with hurt/comfort but as a rule i really hate h/c particularly because of woobism so ??? what’s the tag for that, no one knows 

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic]. + K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

im gonna cheat a little and combine these two because the best alternate idea & angstiest idea are the same one. it’s the au for cambion in which jesse does in fact ditch ben and claire at the roadhouse and never sees them again and sam and dean stay in purgatory for all 50 years, eventually coming back to bobby’s to find an aged ben and claire still living there, married, having never expected to see them again. i have a post about it here but here’s an excerpt: 

it’s just ben there alone. and he’s MOVED ON, he’s given up on this, he’s accepted he’ll never know why or how, and he’ll never see them again, and he grew up and he did good without them, and suddenly they’re HERE, and this old man all arthritic and wrinkled with age is a little bit sixteen again

just a guy who really, really missed his dad

dean, just like in cambion, doesn’t recognize him right off, it’s not until the rib-crushing hug and “dean, it’s me” that he understands who it is and hugs him back, this old man he knew as a boy, ben braeden, who is now older than his father

this jumped to my mind IMMEDIATELY - i don’t think i will ever come up with an idea worse than this even if i live to be 99 years old. jesus fucking christ, imagine being older than your own father

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

SOOOOO FUCKIN MANY ok here’s a list

(abandoned, outlined but w/ no intention to write it) a shadowhunters fic in which alec learns to be a better boyfriend, because i think he’s a bad one, abandoned in a fit of rage upon viewing season 3

(abandoned, outlined but w/ no intention to write it) the episode of spn where john comes back except actually taking the child abuse into account and also the real castiel is there, abandoned after they murdered my MOM mary winchester in cold blood

i have an Original Novel that i’m quite excited about. i’m not planning on showing it to anyone or attempting to get it published or anything like that because then i’m allowed to do whatever i want to do with no pressure as a means i actually teaching myself to write something from scratch…it’s still all outlines at this point but i LOVE working on it

i have been meaning to write a dragon age fic for dorian/cullen for YEARS because when you like rarepairs you gotta do it yourself but i just keep having other things to do first

similarly, the very first fanfic i ever wrote was a novelization of the legend of zelda: ocarina of time for the n64, and it has always been a very dear wish of mine to go back and rewrite it someday with my grownup liz skills, but i don’t have time/energy to prioritize it, rip

in the same vein i would really kind of like to do a dishonored 1 novelization one day…idk, i think it could be fun, although my interpretation of corvo is probably not as close to the canon one

i really would very much like to finish my detroit become twink fanfic…every time i read it i remember how excited i was about it & how close i was to the end. i just got wrapped up in other stuff and then lost my ability to write

i have a teen wolf fic about my secret rarepair written entirely from outside pov and the pov character is scott. im having a tough time bc im not good at humor fics but that was what i was working on before i left for florida

envesseled. thats been a BARREL of laughs and not at all emotionally taxing

since i didn’t have enough to do i may have uh…turned one of these things here into…a proper outline…for…a show i happen to be watching…will i finish it? will i post it to allow human eyes to view it? only time will tell

(FANFIC MEME, pls send me questions)