#The Balloon-Hoax

[firstsentence]

"After slight reflection I gave a willing assent to the bold proposition, which (strange to say) met with objection from the two seamen only." 🍵

[shinewonder]

[marcosvargas97]

You are not real, just a hoax.

[its-ticsticstics]

does anyone else remember being like 11 years old and watching news footage of a little boy floating into space in a weather balloon and actually believing it or am i the only dumb one??

[iwanttogointospace]

"The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfaall" (1835) by Edgar Allan Poe: This short story follows the journey of a man who travels to the moon using a hot air balloon.

“The Unparalleled Adventure of One Hans Pfaall” is a short story written by Edgar Allan Poe. It was first published in June 1835 by The Southern Literary Messenger as “Hans Phall — A Tale”. Poe has intended for the story to be a hoax but this was preempted by the Great Moon Hoax of 1835.

“Horrors of a nature most stern and most appalling would too frequently obtrude themselves upon my mind, and shake the innermost depths of my soul with the bare supposition of their possibility…”

[harrysfolklore]

insta blurb with zion moreno?? (just bc u asked lol)

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[ineffable-suffering]

Ceci n'est pas une plume.

(from this doc of all of Neil's answered asks)

The meta goes a little like this: I like nerdy stuff about language (and also Good Omens), so I wanted to elaborate on why Angels and Demons don't actually ever speak any language except their own. They simply have the ability to flick a translation switch and (make anyone) understand what's being said in whatever other language.

Also, I end up making a way deeper point of it and why it's so telling that Aziraphale would learn French (and magic) the hard way, in the end.

Find out with me under the cut!

(Word count: 1820 | Reading time: ~8 minutes )

Aziraphale and Crowley's exchange in front of Marguerite's restaurant started me down this path and I'm pretty sure that this is actually how it works. Because it ties together a few other loose strings that have been floating around in my head about the whole langue deal in Good Omens.

Let's structure this by the questions Neil has already answered about it.

The Lead Balloon

I feel like the "in the beginning"-scene in S2 showed us that Crowley did not actually have much of an idea what exactly the plan for Earth and the humans were (instead, Aziraphale did). He might have found out later still, after asking his questions, but I feel like the second part of that answer is more likely to be true, since they both seem to understand this metaphor. This is further supported by:

Ergo: They're speaking in the language of Angels but we understand it in English (or whatever language we selected on our Amazon Prime). Automatically translated for us because Crowley and Aziraphale wanted us to understand them.

"Ciao. It's Italian. It means Food."

They sort of are, yes. Idiots who either forgot to turn on their own auto-translator, or idiots who aren't aware that they have one for other languages except English, or idiots who were miffed that Crowley actually knew-knew a word in another language and didn't want to admit that they didn't.

Où est la plume de la jardinière de ma tante?

Right, so. The exchange that fuelled this meta. First of all, as a funny side note, the origin of that peculiar sentence:

La plume de ma tante ("my aunt's quill") is a phrase in popular culture, attributed to elementary French language instruction (possibly as early as the 19th century) and used as an example of grammatically correct phrases with limited practical application that are sometimes taught in introductory foreign language texts. As Life magazine said in 1958, "As every student knows, the most idiotically useless phrase in a beginner's French textbook is la plume de ma tante (the quill of my aunt)." The phrase is also used to refer to something deemed completely irrelevant. [link]

So basically, it's historically the most nonsensical and dumb phrase any student of the French language gets taught. And yet Aziraphale has been "wittering on about it for the last 250 years". Even looking smug about it, to this very day. Gave me a good chuckle.

Also:

In the 1973 horror film The Exorcist, Catholic priest Damien Karras interviews [...] a girl believed to suffer from demonic possession. While Karras probes to determine whether the possession is a hoax, the demon Pazuzu—who has possessed the girl—speaks in Latin and French, languages presumably unknown to the girl. When Karras demands "Quod nomen mihi est?/What is my name?" in Latin, the demon exclaims "La plume de ma tante!", using the phrase as a non sequitur to mock and evade Karras' line of questioning. [link]

Using that particular phrase to avoid answering a question you're being asked? Like: "You speak every language in the world perfectly ...

Neil, Neil, Neil, *shakes head fondly*, is there anything that you don't give layered meaning to, ever? No. No, of course you don't. And I adore you for it.

The whereabouts of the aunt's gardener's pen questioned, Aziraphale then says "But you still understood me" when Crowley calls him out for his bad French.

This is curious and affirming of my auro-translator theory for two reasons:

1) Aziraphale wouldn't have said this if he'd uttered this sentence in the language of Angels and simply hit the auto-translate button. Because if he had done it that way, of course Crowley would have understood him. But the reason Crowley understands him is not because Aziraphale used his language auto-translate, but because, again, Aziraphale, for two hundred and fifty years, has been wittering on about the plume of his imaginary tante.

2) Point one is further proven by a tiny French nerdy fact I can provide because I actually did learn and graduate in French back in school, lol. Because Crowley actually makes a mistake while trying to not-automatically translate the sentence. He says:

But "jarndinère" is actually a female gardener (le jardinier = male, la jardinière = female). So, when Crowley says "he doesn't have a pen", he actually gets it wrong, which further proves to me that he (as well as all other angels and demons) doesn't actually understand the phrase like someone does who has learnt the language in a human way.

Crowley doesn't have the automated translation on in this moment, so he doesn't translate it correctly. Because he doesn't actually speak French. At least not in the sense that us humans interpret "speaking a language".

Comment ça?

Basically, what I'm trying to get at is: Would you say that Google Translate speaks every language in the world? That it's native and fluent in every tongue ever spoken? Or is it simply a program that can access all the language knowledge its been fed and as soon as you hit enter, it translates any and every language back to you?

Google Translate never learnt any language, it never sat down and went through the onslaughts of vocabulary and grammar that studying a language comes with. It never got frustrated with seemingly nonsensical sentence structures, subjonctifs (French-learnes, you know what I mean) tenses and conjugations. It never spent ages trying to understand different dialects and accents, never spoke with natives to figure out the hidden slangs and sarcasms that would never be translated on paper. It never went to night classes where the teacher wittered on about pens and gardeners and aunts.

No. Google Translate is being told a sentence and it soullessly, programatically recognizes the language through its binary coded translation filter and mirrors the equivalent in whatever other language you want it to.

It's furthest any-a thing could be from speaking a language.

And exactly like that.

Exactly like that is how angels and demons "speak" every language in the World. Hitting an imaginary auto-translate-and-auto-recognition button.

Aziraphale and French (and magic)

Just like with Aziraphale being giddy about the idea of human magic, of learning card tricks and pulling coins out from behind ears, Aziraphale chose to never hit his translate button when it came to French.

Why does Aziraphale learn magic the human way? Because he knows how to do it the ethereal way but that's "no fun."

And why does Aziraphale learn French the human way? Because he knows how to do it the ethereal way, but that's "no fun".

Let me recap real quick: Two of the very base principles of any angel's job and/or purpose (on Earth) is to 1) do miracles for humankind to ensure their souls will at some point be added to Heaven's tab and 2) be a being of Love and love all of Her creations.

Or, the condensed version: Magic and Love.

And what are the two things Aziraphale finds no fun (= boring and unsatisfying) to do the way it was intended for all angels?

Magic and (the language of) Love.

Aziraphale chose to try and learn magic as well as the language of love organically, without the God-given ability and the binary coded translation system Heaven provided his corporation with.

He wanted to learn it the human way. The hard way. The fun way.

Neil: "It's like magic tricks, which he is terrible at but loves to do, and miracles, which are no fun, but which he does very well."

Because that's the point, isn't it? Most of us think: "Wow, wouldn't it be great to be able to do actual magic? Simply snap your fingers and have any-a wish come true? Speak every and any language in the universe and never have to pick up a dictionary ever again?"

Sure, for the first few exciting moments, miracles and conversations maybe. But sooner or later, it renders everything meaningless. Soulless. Flavourless. And who loves flavour more than Aziraphale?

It's somewhat similar to why typing a sentence into Google Translate is never going to be as exciting as being able to finally translate it yourself after years of practising. Or why telling an AI to conjure up a picture of a beautiful landscape will never, ever be the same as working years on your own painting skills to one day finally be able to paint it yourself.

Heaven (and ultimately Hell) don't care about the process. The hardship. The pain and passion of putting work and effort into the journey. They only care about the end result. The means to an end.

Crowley: "They don‘t care how it gets done, they just want to know they can cross it off their list."

Want to speak any language in the world? There you go, automatic translator. Want to ensure humans will be added to the Heavenly/Hellish soul tab? Boom, you can do real magic. Get to work, then!

So, for Aziraphale to choose to learn the two things he was provided with to do his Heavenly work in the most efficient, soulless and flavourless way possible the human way instead, really says it all, doesn't it?

But he learnt the most important one the hard way, without his auto-translator.

The one language all angels are supposed to know fluently and wordlessly anyway.

The one language that makes an angel.

The language of Love.

Except that when it's programmed into you with the intent to only ever work as a means to and end instead of the beautiful journey it is, it will never be the real, organic, passionate, hard and wonderful thing it was meant to be.

And Aziraphale knows this.

Which is exactly why he learnt magic and French the real, human way.

***

Small addendum that I couldn't really fit into any paragraph up there: I think it's also really telling that Aziraphale only properly committed to learning French the right way by going to Monsieur Rossignol's (for those who haven’t seen it yet: rossignol means nightingale in French) night classes in 1760 after the first time we see Crowley rescue him (Bastille, 1739). There might have been a time before that where Crowley got him out of a precarious situation, but for all we know, it was the first one where Crowley really showed up for an angel in need who was absolutely swooning over it. Time to let the nightingale to teach you how to become fluent in Love!

[zibiscusloon]

Because it's impossible to choose one, rate and order the cameos/easter eggs you loved most in the movie

I’m gonna go with some of my favorites off the top of my head! There were so many across the whole movie and I loved each and every one, lol

(Note this is in no specific order!)

1. Chica’s fucking Magic Rainbow

My friend Axe ( @gayfrogsarecool ) caught this lil easter egg while we were watching the movie and it managed to flood back so many memories. So.. many… memories…. (All of yelling at a rude ass rainbow-)

I’m probably in a minority of people who loved Fnaf World during its initial release, so I really wasn’t thinking there’d be a World reference! It was really sweet to see!

2. Balloon Boy (lil bastard-)

I can’t believe I’m admitting that this lil shit is the only animatronic who managed to succeed on every single fucking jumpscare. He got me each time— There was no excuse for them to work every time! He was literally just standing there! But noooooo, Freddy biting Max in half only gave me a brief pause of “Oh.” But the batterie thief himself is the one who made me jump from my seat- what the fuck-

3. Sparky the Dog! (And Sparky’s Diner!)

Every single fan who has been around since Fnaf 1 knows who Sparky the Dog is! The original hoax character. I remember when I was little and I’d be up watching theories trying to debunk whether or not he was a real character! A fan character was a big surprise and seeing that he even has an in universe diner themed around him made me feel like a kid again! (Only this kid now gets confirmation of a Canon Sparky-)

(Also Imma just say his movie design is adorable I love him sm-)

4. Carl & The Cupcake

Noticed this one out more recently! So during the whole segment where Max & her friends are picked off one by one by the gang I learned that the dude that the Cupcake straight up mauls happens to be named “Carl”! I have no idea if it was intentional or not but it could be a nod to The Cupcake’s fanon name!

5. The Ella springlock suit

So Ella on her own was a rather eerie and intriguing concept from the books (Saying this as someone who is still really iffy with how the whole “Charlie is a Robot” concept was handled)

But seeing her as her own animatronic in the movie really managed to bring up her creep factor! She just looks so ragged and forgotten, she looks like a creepy af porcelain doll (and I love that-). Makes me wonder if we’ll ever see animatronic Ella up and running (probably not but it’d be cool none the less!)

6. Cory & Matpat!

Coryxkenshin has always been a comfort channel for me! I always found his content genuinely nice, genuine, and I have a habit of going back to plenty of his old game playthroughs when I’m feeling down. Man also got jumped by BB- you and me both pal-

When I tell you the cackling I had from the whole “That’s just a theory” line, cheeky son of a- (also I now hc Ness as the Hurricane local menace who is a constant thorn in William’s side cause he keeps breaking into the Pizzaria on the weekends looking for evidence and shit from the MCI)

7. And Of course..

I mean did they really expect to have this as the end credits song and for me to not loudly sing it? Childhood in song form-

[firstsentence]

"The inflation was commenced very quietly at daybreak, on Saturday morning, the 6th instant, in the courtyard of Wheal-Vor House, Mr. Osborne's seat, about a mile from Penstruthal, in North Wales; and at seven minutes past eleven, every thing being ready for departure, the balloon was set free, rising gently but steadily, in direction nearly south; no use being made, for the first half hour, of either the screw or the rudder." 🍵

[cryptid-quest]

HOAX of the Day: Nantucket Sea Serpent

Description: In August 1937, large footprints were found on a Nantucket Beach, measuring 66in long and 45in wide. This was after a few sightings of a green sea serpent off the coast of the island. After that, more people came forward claiming to have seen the serpent. Turned out to be a balloon.

[scrunkalicious]

BDAY ONESHOOOOT IS REAAAALLLL

WORK COUNT 1677 YAAAAYYY YAAAAYYYY

I did not proofread but shshshshss

The first of April was a treacherous day for most. People planning extensive pranks, while doing all they can to avoid the fruitful efforts of others pursuing them with pranks of their own. Laughter can be heard throughout Piltover as people fall for usually harmless traps, before their friends jump out and yell “April Fools!”. April first, a day filled with hoaxes and practical jokes. 

With this, most people don’t think much about the day after April first. April second, what’s so special about that day? And in truth, to most there isn’t much waiting for them. It’s just another day in the month of April, right?

Yet, when Marly awoke from her bed, her eyes went wide from realization. Quickly putting her glasses on, she grinned. Today was a special day for her. The second of April was her birthday! Stumbling out of bed, she went to the bathroom to brush her teeth and fix her hair. As the academy was on spring break, Marly didn’t seem to have a reason to change out of her pajamas, and she smiled at the thought. She ran her fingers through her hair, looking at herself in the mirror as she felt like today would be a good one. 

Marly placed her brush back into the small drawer, and as she closed it, the sound of something metal clanking to the floor was heard in the main room of her dorm. Marly blinked, and slowly opened the bathroom door, then she left her bedroom. As she entered the main part of her dorm, her eyes went wide with what she saw. 

The entirety of the main area of her dorm was adorned with brightly colored decorations, and vivid balloons. The words “Happy Birthday!!!” were scrawled out on paper that was taped up on the side of Marly’s small kitchen table. There was even a cake on the table, one that looked strangely familiar. 

Next to the table, Marly spotted Viktor. He had one hand on the table as he was reaching down to his cane, which lay on the floor, the sure cause of the clanking earlier. She stared at him for a moment, before speaking up. 

“Viktor? What are you doing here?” She asked, smiling softly. Viktor quickly straightened himself from his bent over position, a wide smile crossing his face when he saw her. 

“Marly! Happy birthday, my dear!” Viktor exclaimed, grabbing something off the table as he walked over to her. When he finally reached her, he steadied himself before placing a colorful birthday hat onto her head, gently slipping the elastic band around her chin. Marly paused as she adjusted to the new feeling of the hat on her, before she smiled back at him. Viktor held back a laugh as he looked at her. She appeared quite silly, standing there in her pajamas, with a bright cone hat on her head, which was topped with short sparkly ribbons. He loved her dearly for that, and smiled knowing how much she would love his surprise.

“You’ve done all this?” She asked, looking around the room as Viktor nodded his head. He placed his hands on her shoulders, leaning against her, as he cane still lay on the ground.

“Of course I have! It is your birthday, so we shall celebrate,” he told her. 

“Thank you!” Marly smiled widely, looking up at him to reach her hands towards him, cupping Viktor’s face in her hands as she pressed a kiss to his nose. She still held his face as she pulled back, squishing his cheeks softly, “You’re so sweet,” She murmured, before letting him go. 

Viktor gave her a loopy grin as he watched her get his cane, taking it gratefully as Marly turned to look at the cake on the table, tilting her head. 

“Do you recognize it?” He asked, keeping the grin on his face as he waited. 

Marly nodded her head, looking up at him, “Of course I recognize it! It’s the tuxedo cake my family would always eat,” She tilted her head, “How did you even manage to get it? I’ve never seen them around Piltover,” She told him, her eyes lighting up as she spoke, clearly getting excited to see something so familiar from when she was younger. 

Viktor smiled at her giddiness, before explaining, “Well, Professor Heimerdinger had me running some tasks for him on the outskirts of town,” he started, “Apparently the person I was helping out was a good cook, as they started offering me pastries for my service. So, I asked them about the tuxedo cake you always mentioned, and turns out they used to work in a place that would make them. I offered to work some extra in exchange for a cake,” He looked proud of himself, and Marly smiled widely at him.

“You did extra work, just to get a cake for me?” Marly asked, tiling her head as she smiled softly. She was usually the one doing things for other people. With Viktor in her life, Marly was getting introduced to the idea that she shouldn’t be the only one doing things in a relationship. 

Viktor nodded his head, to see that smile of hers had made all the work worth it. 

“Yes, I did. Why wouldn’t I?” He smirked, knowing full well that he would do that for any occasion. 

“I’m unsure,” Marly murmured, thinking for a moment, before waving her hands “You must try the cake!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands into the air as she grabbed his arm, gently sitting him down at the small kitchen table. Viktor chuckled softly as Marly grabbed a knife to cut the cake. A plastic one, because neither of them trusted her with a real one. She also grabbed plates for them, along with utensils. She sat next to Viktor, before slowly pulling the cake over to her. 

Her attempts in cutting the cake are generally successful, and the two end up with a lopsided slice of their own. Marly grins sheepishly as she hands Viktor his plate, and he smiles at this. For someone usually so precise with her work, Marly can’t seem to make a straight cut in a cake. It’s honestly endearing to him, so he takes the plate and his utensils. Marly watches him take a bite out of the cake, clearly excited to see how he would react. 

Viktor furrowed his brow for a moment, before smiling at Marly. He nodded his head, before clearing his throat. “It's really good,” He told her approvingly, “I can see why your family would alway purchase this specific cake,” he added, going in to eat some more. Marly smiled widely, clapping her hands once before eating her slice of the cake herself. The two ate in silence, with Viktor engrossed in the new delicacy, and Marly too happy to form proper words at the moment. 

When they both finished their current slice, Marly sat back, smiling at him. Viktor smiled back, before quickly standing up. Marly watched as he walked over to her mini-fridge, before opening it. He pulled out a small box, and Marly tilted her head as he came back to sit next to her. 

“Why’d you keep that in the fridge?” She asked, laughing quite a bit. 

Viktor grinned at her, “Because I’m aware you would have been curious if I left a box on the same table with a cake and decorations,” He explained, setting it down in front of her. He nudged her softly, wanting to see her open it. 

Marly smiled widely, before taking the box in her hands. She slowly opened it, making sure not to rip any of the packaging. The box was wrapped in a colorful wrapping, and the actual box was similar to a small wooden chest. When she finally opened the latch, two things were visible. Marly grabbed the first thing, a small set of art supplies, practically a mini version of what she already has. 

“You carry around so many things, and either you or your bag is going to break with all the strain, so this is the least I could do to help,” Viktor explained, smiling softly at her, “Now go on with the other item,” he prompted. 

As Marly gently took the second item into her hands, she slowly unraveled the cloth that covered it. Doing this revealed it was a metal model of a small lamb. It was carefully carved, its metal molded together to fit perfectly. Turning it side to side, Marly noticed how there were little shaped holes in it’s back. She looked up at Viktor, tilting her head, “What are these for?” She asked softly. 

Viktor scooted closer to her, reaching his hand out to gently brush one of the lamb’s ears, which went down like a switch. As this happened, light was produced from the lamb’s core, and shined through the little holes. While Marly held the lamb, Viktor hovered his hand over the model, revealing that in a dark lit room, it would depict a replication of the night sky’s stars. Marly looked in wonderment as she saw the display on Viktor’s hand. She soon looked up at him as he moved his hand, her eyes wide and mouth slightly open. 

“It’s lovely, darling,” She whispered, carefully setting the lamb down on the kitchen table, a crooked grin on her face. Viktor grinned back at her, grabbing her hands and squeezing them. He had taken multiple metalwork classes to perfect this. While the inventor had worked on many projects before, he had never tapped into his artistic side of creating as much as he had now. 

“Not as lovely as you,” He teased, to which she giggled softly. Marly was so happy with him, as she certainly wasn’t expecting this surprise from him. 

“I’m very glad I get to spend this with you, y’know?” She whispered, smiling sheepishly. It was true, as Marly couldn’t imagine a better way to spend her birthday. A day between her and someone she loved deeply.

this is my fave image of him ever ANYEAYZZZ TAGLIST PPL UNDER CUT ILYASM

@sapphicseal @kiawren @h0t-p1nk-ch33tah-pr1nt @l0v3sickl0s3r @mrsmunson1986 @mirr0r-image i think thatz it ask to be added removooed

[saanjh-ki-dulhan]

Y'ALL HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED.So, apparently there are bombs placed in a few schools here(not exactly confirmed)and we all got the news,started believing one is in oUR COLLEGE, people started saying goodbye to each other and writing final letters,parents showed up to take their kids and I accepted death.

My friend said "Balloon phodke bomb bomb chillate hai" SO FUN

Edit:It was confirmed to be a hoax,please do not worry,y'all

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Uline's billions fund voter suppression

Every billionaire is a policy failure, but every billionaire is also a factory for producing policy failures at scale. The political power conferred by massive wealth accumulation makes a sham of democracy, because “one person, one vote” is easily swamped by “one dollar, one vote.”

That’s why we need to abolish all billionaires, even the “good” ones who promise to support charities or causes we support. But today, I want to focus on some extremely bad billionaires, Dick and Liz Uihlein, owners of the packing-supply monopoly Uline.

The Uihleins are a multi-generational far-right clan of wealthy conspiracy peddlers. The family money starts with the founding of the Schlitz Brewery (and you thought Coors was the only fascist beer!).

The Schlitz fortune let Edgar J. Uihlein pour money into Charles Lindbergh’s America First movement, an antisemitic, pro-Nazi isolationist group that was part of a wider anti-Jewish movement that Lindbergh helped found, whose projects included translated and disseminating an English translation of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, a hoax document purporting to reveal a conspiracy of Jewish bankers to take over the world.

Edgar Uihlein Jr — father of Dick — was a major funder of the John Birch Society, another conspiratorial far-right authoritarian group, who campaigned against secret communists, water fluoridation and civil rights. Edgar lavished funding on pro-segregationists.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Today on Propublica, Justin Elliott, Megan O’Matz and Doris Burke document the vast and shadowy support that Dick and Liz Uihlein provide to far-right causes, using the windfall profits from Uline, whose sales have ballooned along with the rise of ecommerce:

https://www.propublica.org/article/uline-uihlein-election-denial

Back in 2002, Uline was pulling in $18m/year. By 2018, it was $712m. The pandemic goosed Uline’s sales still further. The Uihleins did their best to prolong the pandemic, putting money into local school-board races to oust trustees who advocated for covid safety measures:

https://urbanmilwaukee.com/2021/10/27/uilhlein-bankrolls-mequon-thiensville-recall/

They also campaigned against workplace shutdowns, and turned their own facilities into super-spreader sites where employees sickened at shockingly high rates:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2021/feb/28/uline-dick-liz-uihlein-workers-covid-safety

That’s just a small corner of the Uihleins’ contributions to culture war bullshit in public schools. They’re also big donors to the American Principles Project and its anti “transgender ideology” attack ads, which also target abortion and “critical race theory.”

https://www.exposedbycmd.org/2022/07/19/uline-chairman-funnels-2-5-million-to-anti-abortion-pacs/

There’s no anti-abortion candidate too extreme for the Uihlines. They spent $50m to support Darren Bailey’s bid for the governorship of Illinois. Bailey says that the Holocaust “doesn’t even compare” to abortion” (and Bailey also condemns “perversion in our schools” in the form of curriculum that acknowledges the existence of queer people).

Dick and Liz named their foundation after Dick’s father. The Ed Uihlein Family Foundation sends tens of millions to the architects of anti-democractic, anti-majoritarian, pro-voter-suppression organizations, including the Federalst Society, the Conservative Partnership Institute and the Foundation for Government Accountability:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/new-filings-reveal-another-billionaire-dick-uihlein-behind-the-big-lie

The Uihleins play an inside/outside game, funding “think tanks” and other outside/astroturf groups, and also backing election campaigns directly. They’re the GOP’s largest federal donors. They’ve backed campaigns Jim Marchant, who is running for Nevada Secretary of State on a Big Lie platform that denies the 2020 election. They’re also backing the PA gubernatorial bid of Doug Mastriano, the Jan 6 insurrection participant who is associated with notorious antisemites:

https://whyy.org/articles/pa-2022-governor-elections-mastriano-jewish-democrats-press-conference/

The Uihleins epitomize the idea that rich people are born to be in charge of the rest of us, and that their wealth entitles — and even obliges — them to organize the lives of the people around them. They are workplpace tyrants, micromanaging bullies who force their employees to take down their kids’ drawings and ban women from wearing pants (they also ban corduroy!).

Employees who arrive for work one minute late are considered “tardy.” An employee may not display more than four personal items, and no item may be larger than 5x7 inches. “Liz would walk up and down the aisles, and if your desk looked off, you’d be written up.”

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/23179330-uline-cubicle-dos-and-donts

The company hosts mandatory “lunch and learn” sessions for employees where they are required to endure speeches from Wisconsin governor Scott Walker and other far-right figures (the Uihleins once hired a Donald Trump impersonator as the warm-up act for one of these sessions).

The Uihleins are ideologues, but it’s a mistake to view their authoritarianism, antisemitism, racism, and homophobia as the main force of their ideology. First and foremost is their belief that they deserve to be rich, and that the rich should be in charge of everyone else.

That commitment to the one dollar, one vote system is the motivating factor behind everything else. The Uihleins fund voter suppression, sure, but that’s to weaken the power of the ballot box, which might otherwise check the power of oligarchs.

Oligarchs like the Uihleins say they believe the government is incapable of doing good, but it’s more true to say that they are committed to ensuring that the government can’t do good. They don’t want a small state — they want a captive one, one that will do their bidding.

In 2017, Donald Trump achieved the only significant policy victory of his presidency: a $2.3 trillion tax giveaway to the ultra-rich. Trump may have been in charge of the Executive Branch, but he lacked the executive function to get anything done. His plutocratic class solidarity overcame his poor impulse control for this issue alone.

The actual tax bill was an incredible mess. Lawmakers literally scribbled illegible hand-written amendments all over the 479-page bill, carving out tax breaks that sent millions to individual donors.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2017/12/02/handwriting-wall-and-page-senate-passes-tax-bill/915957001/

Two of the biggest beneficiaries of this corrupt bonanza were Dick and Liz Uihlein. Their pet senator, Ron Johnson, threatened to tank the entire tax bill unless he was given a clause that created deductions for “pass-through” entities. Johnson claimed this would “simplify and rationalize the tax code” for a wide range of businesses, but that was a lie.

In truth, only a very small number of businesses benefited from this, and right at the top of the beneficiaries were the Uihlnes, who donated $20m to Johnson’s campaign and got $215m back in the first year. Overall, they stand to make $500m from Johnson’s amendment:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/11/the-canada-variant/#shitty-man-of-history-theory

The rich are a factory for producing policy failures, and the Uihlines operate one of the most efficient policy-failure factories in the world. Yes, they support causes that threaten to exterminate Black people, Jews and queers. Yes, they want to force women and children to give birth.

But most of all, they want to rule. They want to tell us all what we can wear and to dictate the maximum size of the keepsakes we post around our desks. They want to force us to attend their “learning sessions” and to watch their Trump impersonators and clownish politicians.

They derive this authority from being born rich, and from growing still richer. Having won the lucky orifice lottery and then leveraged the advantages of being born on third base, they get to impose their will on millions of others. They believe that some were born to rule, and the rest of us were born to be ruled over.

This is the core of the monopolist’s project — to deprive you of choices, so that you are cornered into doing the monopolist’s bidding. Not only do the Uihlines want to take away your vote, they also want to force you to fund it, by monopolizing the packing materials business, so that every time you ship a box, you support your own disenfranchisement.

https://marker.medium.com/we-should-not-endure-a-king-dfef34628153

[Image ID: A paper shredder that is shredding a document labelled 'official ballot'; the box is emblazoned with the Uline logo, as well as a VOTE HERE instruction and an 'I Voted' disc.]

[theminecraftbee]

what's joel doing in the empires earth au?

i think joel (and mezalean) does as joel does: promptly assumes that a contingent of weird people in flying machines with explosive weapons are like, an extension of the whole demon hoax, and promptly ignores them for the things he cares about, like his palace and what he's going to get lizzie for her birthday.

and for a time, this almost works, because mezalea has always been mezalea. they march to the beat of their own drum, and frankly no one in the history of the twelve empires has ever been able to make a mezalean do something they don't want to or acknowledge something they don't like, so. joel has decided he's not acknowledging the outsiders are real? sure. maybe it'll even work for him the way the demon thing does (although lord knows how that works).

except... it doesn't.

gods function on belief. the deer gods of other empires have no sway in mezalea, because in mezalea, nothing is real that you cannot build or touch with your own hands, leaving exor's champion powerless. people, however. people don't work like gods.

it's a sunday when joel's otherwise perfectly lovely day is interrupted when, quite against his will, a plane collides with several of joel's trader balloons. irritated, but still unwilling to believe in the outsiders, he goes to deal with the problem, and maybe also apologize to pixlriffs for being late on the delivery of terracotta again.

instead, he finds the pilot, floating in the ocean, having bailed from his plane when the props were ruined by the balloon.

joel does as ANY strong and powerful king should do: he panics and calls his wife for help.

after that - well, joel and mezalea still largely keeps to the sidelines, but to his irritation, joel realizes he's going to have to pay more attention, since those outsiders were apparently real. last time he paid attention to geopolitics was... uh... well, he's not going to start now, is all he's saying. he's still going to stubbornly be joel. but look, ever since he found lizzie on shore, he's been trying to pay a bit more attention to the outside world, even if he won't admit it, in order to be a proper husband, and because he's beginning to realize that even if he doesn't care, it does help explain when jimmy goes on one of his things.

so he pays attention, and then loudly and stubbornly goes back to acting exactly how he did before: mezalean to the core, regardless of what the rest of the world is doing.

(hey, just because he's paying a little attention doesn't mean the mezalean king will change. the mad king of mezalea, changing? now that would take more of a miracle than people from across the desert could possibly provide.)

[proteanderg]

OC Halloween Costumes!

Whew, managed to finish these despite getting sick in the middle of working on them~!

Razza and Rey are going as scarecrows, but Razza didn't have any farm clothes and just borrowed some way too big ones from Rey. Ayla figured a quick repaint and some balloon bat wings would be a nice and easy costume that could be washed off later Sam decided to go as a lochness monster hoax costume, intentionally making it look quite bad, but still being made well enough to survive parties and swimming underwater to really sell it

[harrysfolklore]

part 2 of sabrina carpenter please 🤲

here’s the second part of this new trope! i’m so happy you liked the first one so much 💕

IF YOU LIKE WHAT I POST PLEASE CONSIDER SUPPORTING ME, i’m currently trying to meet my back to college goal :)

ask me anything | masterlist | previous parts

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yourinstagram it really is love on tour

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ynfan1 so beautiful

billieeilish i request to be invited to a show

↳ yourinstagram um excuse me you’re welcome any time

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harrystyles It’s a family show, or is it?

↳ yourinstagram oR Is iT

↳ harryfan2 ACTIVERRY I LOVE HIM 😭

↳ ynfan2 besties 🫶

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harryupdates Harry and YN in Munich today !

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harryfan1 omg 😳

ynfan1 why is my girlfriend getting cozy with another guy

harryfan2 can you chill they’re just friends

↳ ynfan2 really good friends i guess

ynfan3 i ship it 🤷‍♀️

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harrystyles Love On Tour. Munich. July, 2022.

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harryfan1 INSANE

mitchrowland Nice

alessandro_michele 🦄

yourinstagram he showers

↳ harrystyles He does x

↳ harryfan2 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

↳ ynfan1 get those a room

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ynsunshine when harry styles takes a picture of you and your fave 🤩

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harryfan1 HARRY YOU SAID?

ynfan1 omggg you’re so lucky congrats

harryfan2 and you didn’t ask harry for a pic

ynfan2 aww harry and yn were together

↳ ynsunshine yesss they were strolling around

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loveontourupdates Harry watching YN perform before his show in Budapest!

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harryfan1 BABYYY

ynfan1 i love them

harryfan2 he watches her set every night he’s sooo

ynfan2 CUTIES

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harryupdates Harry and YN leaving the arena tonight in Budapest !

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harryfan1 cuties

ynfan1 i’m starting to believe they’re together

harryfan2 the thing with this fandom is that harry can’t have female friends without you thinking they’re together

ynfan2 besties

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yourinstagram budapest was the loveliest crowd ever ❤️‍🩹 and thank you for my balloons @harrystyles

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ynfan1 DREAM GIRL

oliviarodrigo 🥹❤️

harryfan1 harry got her heart shaped balloons instead of flowers that’s so cute

harrystyles My pleasure x

↳ harryfan2 I FEEL SICK

deuxmoi 👀👀

↳ ynfan1 ew go away

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harrystyles Love On Tour. Budapest. July, 2022.

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harryfan1 MY BABYYY

iheartradio athletic KING 😤

ynfan1 hottie

yourinstagram he runs

↳ harrystyles You could’ve said “Running from the bullets” but you missed the opportunity x

↳ yourinstagram ughh you’re so right

↳ ynfan2 FLIRTING ON MAIN HAVE SOME CLASS

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