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#The character is fictional the pain is real
luckthebard · 12 hours
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I think a huge problem I’m seeing in some attempts at meta with C3 is that there is a subset of viewers who do not understand the place, value, and meaning of real world religion. It breeds takes like “well throw the gods out! Who needs them! They caused characters and the world pain! Free Vax from the Raven Queen!”
I throw that last one in there because it is the most ridiculous yet frequent and is really the crux of the issue. Vax’s story is very much about faith and the importance of faith and devotion. If you place no value on that you’ll end up grossly misunderstanding the character and the nature of his tragedy.
I’m going to out myself as an atheist, but I think the issue with a lot of these takes are that they come from internet atheists who are either resentful of and hostile toward religion because of personal experiences or do not know any devout people in their lives who they respect and can empathize with. And while I am not trying to downplay the very real phenomenon of religious trauma, when healing from it it is crucial to realize that all spiritual traditions are not synonymous with the one that harmed you. I would really implore more people to explore why many good people find spiritual traditions and religion to be a source of solace, community, and meaning before writing off the idea wholesale as something only functioning as a means of power and control that people can be educated out of believing. I encourage you to branch out and here are some examples of things I’ve done to challenge my own judgement over the last ten years: read the writings of gay Catholics exploring the queerness of Jesus. Read some beautiful poetry written by a trans man who specializes in Anglican theology. Explore religious observances different from the ones you experienced and attend a Seder. Go if a coworker invites you to a celebration of Ganesh. Learn the significance of solstice celebrations because your coworker is officiating one for a Wiccan event. Break fast at sundown during Ramadan with in solidarity with your roommate.
Deciding that all fictional religion must be an allegory for a specific kind of toxic nationalistic prosperity gospel Christian cult found in America will only limit how you engage with both fiction and the real world. It took me a long time to get to this place about it and I hope I’ve put the spark of curiosity and not judgment into at least one person reading this.
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br0kenangel · 2 days
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𓈒ㅤׂㅤ 𓇼 ࣪ 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐝♡𝐰𝐧 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒⠀
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Pairing: Yandere Survivors x Survivor Reader part 1
Summary: you survived. You survived the zombies. But you can't hide for too long. You have to go out. You have to find food and water. And you did but it didn't go according to plan now, did it?
˚꒰♡꒱‧ Hi there! Before you read this, you should know that English is not my first language. And yes it's basically watership down characters but in a zombie au where they are humans. Hope you enjoy!
Original gif by @mikelogan ♡
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The days had blended into an endless stretch of silence, fear, and aching hunger. Y/N sat on the floor of the small, darkened house, her back pressed against the cold wall. The room was a suffocating tomb of shadows, barely illuminated by the slivers of light that crept through the cracks in the boarded windows. Her stomach had long stopped growling, replaced by a hollow, gnawing pain that felt like her insides were turning to dust. She had run out of food days ago—maybe longer. Time didn’t feel real anymore.
Her lips were dry and cracked, her throat burning from thirst. The last drop of water had been carefully rationed, but now even that was gone. She knew she couldn’t last much longer like this. Every muscle in her body screamed for rest, but sleep wasn’t an option—not when the slightest sound, the tiniest movement could bring them.
The zombies outside weren’t the shambling, mindless creatures of fiction. They were quick, calculating, and relentless. She had watched them, their movements eerily coordinated, like packs of wolves hunting. They were always looking, always listening. And they were smart. Smart enough to sense a human’s weakness, smart enough to track her down if she made the wrong move. The memory of their bloodshot eyes, snapping jaws, and the awful sounds of their shrieks haunted her every waking second.
She shifted, her body stiff from days of sitting in the same position, her limbs trembling from exhaustion. But she didn’t dare make a sound. Not even a whisper. Her breaths were shallow and slow, each one carefully measured as if the air itself might betray her.
Her eyes flicked to the window, the boards creaking slightly as the wind pressed against the house. She stared at the shadows outside, her heart racing in her chest as her mind played tricks on her. Was that movement? Was something out there? She couldn’t tell anymore. She couldn’t remember the last time she had seen one of them, but that only made the fear worse. The quiet—the not knowing—was driving her insane.
Every small noise outside made her body tense up, her mind racing with the possibilities. Maybe they were waiting. Maybe they knew she was in here, hiding, too scared to leave. Maybe they were just biding their time, like hunters watching their prey, waiting for her to make a mistake.
Y/N's hands shook as she reached for the small knife she had kept beside her, the only weapon she had. It felt pitiful in her grasp, barely enough to protect her from anything, but it was all she had. Her fingers tightened around the handle until her knuckles turned white, as if gripping it harder would somehow give her more strength, more control over this nightmare.
She couldn't keep this up. The hunger was driving her mad, the constant edge of fear leaving her brain in a foggy haze. Her vision blurred, her head throbbing with each heartbeat. She had tried to sleep once, for just a few minutes, but every time she closed her eyes, the nightmares came. Horrors of being ripped apart, of being trapped, screaming but unable to make a sound.
Now, she was too scared to even try. If she slept, she would be vulnerable. If she slept, she wouldn’t hear them coming.
She bit down on her lip, hard, the metallic taste of blood flooding her mouth. It was the only thing she could do to stop herself from crying. She couldn’t cry. Crying would make noise. Noise would bring them.
Her stomach twisted violently, and she doubled over, gasping silently as the hunger pain sharpened into something unbearable. She had never felt so weak, so helpless. Her body was eating itself from the inside out, and all she could do was sit here, paralyzed by fear.
The worst part was the loneliness. She had been alone for so long, her mind starting to play cruel tricks on her. Sometimes, she thought she heard voices—whispers in the dark, like someone was calling to her. But when she strained to listen, there was only silence. Sometimes, she swore she could hear footsteps, slow and deliberate, right outside the door. But when she looked, there was nothing there.
She was going mad. Slowly, painfully, she was losing her grip on reality. The isolation was eating away at her, just as much as the hunger.
Her eyes darted back to the window. No movement. No sounds. Just the wind. But she knew better than to trust the quiet. The quiet was deceptive.
Her breath hitched as a shadow moved in the corner of her vision, darting past the window too quickly for her to see clearly. Her heart pounded in her chest, a sickening rhythm that made her feel like she was going to pass out. She held her breath, knife trembling in her hand, as she stared at the window, waiting for the inevitable.
She was going to die here. Alone. Starving. Too terrified to even try to escape.
The darkness of the room pressed in around her, suffocating, as her thoughts spiraled deeper into despair.
She didn’t want to die. Not like this. But what choice did she have?
The zombies were everywhere. The world was gone. And soon, so would she be.
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Y/N’s hunger had become unbearable. The sharp, hollow ache in her stomach twisted and churned until it was impossible to ignore. She could feel her body weakening, her limbs trembling as she sat in the dark, staring at the front door of the house. She had resisted for so long, too afraid to make any noise, too terrified to go outside. But now, she was past the point of fear.
Her body screamed for food. Water. Anything. If she stayed here any longer, she would die.
She swallowed the thick lump in her throat, pushing herself up from the floor, her legs shaking beneath her. Every step toward the door felt like it took all her strength, her mind screaming at her to stay hidden, to stay safe. But her survival instincts—those primal, desperate needs—were louder.
With a trembling hand, she carefully unlatched the door, moving it just enough to slip out into the alleyway. The cold air hit her face, sharp and bracing, and she froze, listening for any sign of movement. But there was only the wind, a gentle rustling of leaves in the distance. No growls. No footsteps.
She moved quickly, keeping low as she crept through the deserted streets, her eyes darting from shadow to shadow. The store she had seen before—what was left of it—was only a few blocks away. She just needed to get there. Get something. Anything.
As she approached the crumbling remains of the building, her heart raced in her chest, her fingers twitching nervously. She knew it was a risk, but her body had overridden her fear. She needed food.
Slipping through the broken door, Y/N’s eyes scanned the dark, empty aisles. Shelves had been torn apart, broken glass scattered the floor, and debris littered every corner. But there were still a few things left—cans, boxes—anything she could find would do.
Without thinking, she grabbed a dusty can of soup, her hands shaking as she tore it open. She didn’t care that it was cold, that the smell of it was faintly metallic. She ate greedily, stuffing the food into her mouth, her stomach growling with hunger as if it had been waiting for this moment.
For a few blissful seconds, she forgot everything. The hunger, the fear, the world around her—it all faded away as she ate, her body rejoicing in the nourishment. But then, in the quiet, she heard it.
A low growl.
Her body went cold. She froze, her eyes wide as the sound echoed in the distance. She glanced toward the shattered window at the front of the store, her heart pounding in her chest. Shadows flickered outside—shapes, moving quickly.
They had heard her.
The growls grew louder, closer. Panic surged through her as she backed away, her breath quick and shallow. She had made a mistake.
Suddenly, the door slammed open, and they rushed in—three of them, snarling, their pale, sunken faces twisted in hunger as they lunged toward her.
She ran.
Her body screamed in protest, weak and exhausted, but fear drove her forward. She could hear their footsteps behind her, fast, relentless, like predators on her heels. She stumbled through the store, her breath ragged, her vision blurring as tears stung her eyes.
Just as one of the zombies leaped toward her, its teeth snapping inches from her neck, a blur of movement appeared in front of her—a man, tall and strong, slamming the zombie back with a brutal force.
“Go! Now!” he shouted, his voice urgent as he fought off the creature.
Y/N didn’t hesitate. She ran, her legs carrying her faster than she thought possible. The stranger was right behind her, the sounds of the zombies fading as they sprinted through the streets together. Her lungs burned, her muscles ached, but she couldn’t stop. Not yet.
It wasn’t until they reached the outskirts of the town, far enough away from the chaos, that they finally slowed down, gasping for breath. Y/N collapsed against a wall, her chest heaving, her heart still pounding in her ears.
For a moment, she couldn’t speak. She couldn’t even process what had just happened. The adrenaline coursed through her veins, her entire body trembling. But when she looked up and saw him—really saw him—a wave of relief crashed over her like nothing she had ever felt before.
He was real. Another person. She wasn’t alone.
Tears filled her eyes, and before she could stop herself, she started laughing—soft at first, then uncontrollably. The sound was strange, unhinged, mixed with sobs as the weight of everything came crashing down on her. The loneliness, the fear, the hunger—it all poured out of her in a wave of raw emotion.
“I-I thought it was just me,” she gasped between sobs and laughter. “I thought I was the only one left.”
As Y/N’s laughter faded into soft, hiccuping sobs, he remained kneeling beside her, his hand a steady presence on her shoulder. She wiped her eyes with trembling fingers, her breath still shaky from the emotional release. She could feel his eyes on her—kind, patient, as if he understood everything she had been through without her having to say a word.
“I... I’m sorry,” Y/N stammered, her voice hoarse and raw. “I just... I haven’t seen anyone in so long...”
He shook his head, offering her a gentle smile that eased the tightness in her chest. “Don’t apologize. I get it,” he said, his voice low and warm, like a calming breeze after a storm. “You’ve been through hell. We all have.”
Y/N took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “Thank you... for saving me. I didn’t think anyone would...” Her voice trailed off, still unable to fully believe she had been rescued.
“You don’t have to thank me,” he replied, his tone firm but kind. “I couldn’t just leave you there. Not when I knew you needed help.”
For a moment, they sat in silence, the world around them eerily still, like it was waiting for the next move. Y/N glanced at him again, really taking him in—his sharp features, the light scruff on his jaw, and the intensity in his eyes that hinted at the weight of what he had been through. He looked strong, but there was something about him—something gentle, too.
“I’m Hazel,” he finally said, breaking the quiet. “What’s your name?”
“Y/N,” she managed to say, her voice still weak but steadier now. Saying her name aloud felt strange, like a reminder that she was still here, still alive.
Hazel nodded, as if committing her name to memory. “Y/N... it’s good to meet you, Y/N. Even if it’s in the middle of all this.”
She let out a small, shaky laugh at that. “Yeah... could’ve been better circumstances.”
Hazel’s smile widened a bit, though it was tinged with sadness. “You’re not alone, Y/N. There’s more of us. A group. We’ve been sticking together for a while now. Safety in numbers, you know?”
Y/N blinked, her heart skipping a beat. “A group? There’s... more of you?”
He nodded. “Yeah. It’s not just me. There’s a few of us—good people. We’ve been scavenging, keeping each other alive. It’s tough, but we’ve got a better chance together. You should come with me. Join us. The more we are, the better our chances.”
Y/N’s eyes widened as hope surged in her chest. She hadn’t even dared to dream of this—other survivors, people who could help her, protect her. After being alone for so long, the idea of being part of a group again seemed like a dream. A miracle.
“Really?” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “You’d... you’d let me join?”
Hazel’s expression softened even further, his gaze holding hers. “Of course. We don’t leave people behind. Not if we can help it.”
Tears welled up in Y/N’s eyes again, but this time, they were different—tears of relief, of gratitude. She had been so close to losing hope, so close to giving up entirely. But here, in front of her, was a lifeline. A chance at survival. At something more than just existing in fear and hunger.
She wiped her face with the back of her hand, nodding quickly. “I... I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”
Hazel’s smile returned, gentle and reassuring. “You don’t have to say anything. Just stick with us, and we’ll figure this out together.”
Y/N felt a surge of warmth in her chest at his words. She hadn’t felt this kind of connection with anyone in so long, hadn’t felt safe or cared for. But here, with Hazel, there was a glimmer of hope. A chance to live again, not just survive.
She managed a small, but sincere smile. “I’ll come with you. I don’t want to be alone anymore.”
Hazel’s hand gently squeezed her shoulder, his voice low and steady. “You’re not alone anymore, Y/N. You’ve got us now.”
For the first time in what felt like forever, Y/N believed him.
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Y/N’s legs were shaking as she followed behind him, trying to keep pace. The hunger gnawed at her insides, and her body ached from exhaustion. Her throat was dry, her lips cracked, but the adrenaline from their earlier encounter with the dead still burned in her veins. He hadn’t left her behind. He’d saved her.
Now, he was leading her somewhere safe—or so he promised. But after days, maybe weeks, of hiding and surviving alone, the word safe felt foreign, almost unreal. The building they approached was crumbling like all the others. It felt as though it might fall apart at any moment, much like her frail body. Her mind screamed at her not to trust anyone, that safety didn’t exist anymore.
Still, she followed him. Because she had nothing else.
They slipped inside, through a small gap in the side of the building. Y/N had to squeeze through, her pulse racing as the walls seemed to close in on her. She didn’t speak. He had told her to keep quiet when they were running. The zombies were too fast, too clever. They could hear, smell, and even sense movement like animals on the hunt. She hadn’t made a sound since.
Inside, there was a hidden stairwell leading downward into darkness. Her heart pounded louder with every step, echoing in her ears as they descended into the depths. The air grew colder, heavier. Her stomach churned with nausea, and a deep, primal fear started crawling up her spine.
When they reached the bottom, a single dim light flickered on, illuminating the underground space. It was larger than she expected—too organized, too clean for this new world they were trapped in. And that was when she saw them—several figures, standing, watching her in silence.
Their eyes were hollow, dark with suspicion. Her pulse quickened again, her breath shallow and labored. She wanted to shrink back, to disappear. There was something unsettling about the way they stared—like predators deciding if she was worth the effort to keep alive. She felt raw, exposed, and very, very small.
One of them, tall and lean, stepped forward. His eyes weren’t as cold as the others, but there was still an edge to his gaze, as if he was trying to read her thoughts, her past, her worth.
"Who is she?" he asked, his voice calm but filled with doubt. He looked past her, speaking to the man who’d saved her.
"Someone who needs help," was the quiet response.
Y/N could feel every heartbeat echoing in her chest, each one louder than the last. She didn’t dare speak, afraid that if she opened her mouth, the wrong thing would come out, or worse—nothing at all. Her throat was too tight to form words. Fear hung over her like a shroud, suffocating and heavy.
Another figure, a woman this time, stepped forward. Her face was sharp, hard. She didn’t look at Y/N with anything close to kindness. “She’s a risk. What if she brings them here? We don’t know anything about her.”
Y/N swallowed, her mouth dry. She wanted to scream, to beg them to believe she wasn’t a threat, but the words tangled in her throat. She couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. The room felt like it was closing in.
"She doesn’t look like much of a threat," came a low, gruff voice from somewhere in the shadows. The man who spoke stepped into the light, his arms crossed. His eyes were cold, calculating. “But we’re already stretched thin. We can’t afford dead weight.”
Dead weight. That’s what she was to them—useless. Disposable.
Her hands trembled at her sides. She could feel their eyes on her, boring into her skin, judging her every flaw, every weakness. She wasn’t strong like them. She wasn’t capable. She was nothing.
“Look at her,” someone else muttered from the back, a rough laugh following. “She’s already half-dead.”
The weight of the words made her chest tighten, her breath quickening. It felt like the room was spinning, tilting, and she had to fight the urge to collapse. The starvation, the terror, the constant silence—it had eaten away at her, and now, standing here, she felt like a ghost of herself.
The man who had saved her finally spoke again, his voice calm but firm. “She’s not a risk. She’s alone. She’s been hiding for who knows how long. We all know what it’s like.”
But his words didn’t seem to be enough to sway the others. The murmurs grew louder, more voices chiming in, each one cutting through her like a blade. She wasn’t wanted here. They didn’t trust her. Why should they?
Before the argument could escalate, one of the larger figures—the tallest in the room—moved forward. He was broad-shouldered, his presence commanding and hard to ignore. His gaze wasn’t cold, but there was something intense about the way he looked at her. He didn’t say anything at first, just stood between her and the others, as if creating a barrier. His eyes held hers for a moment, and in that brief second, she felt something shift—like he understood.
“She stays,” he said, his deep voice breaking through the noise.
The room fell silent, the tension thick in the air. His tone was final, not up for debate. The others exchanged uneasy glances, but no one challenged him.
Y/N’s legs trembled beneath her, the adrenaline finally wearing off, replaced by an overwhelming exhaustion. She wanted to collapse right there, to give in to the crushing weight of everything, but she forced herself to stay upright. She couldn’t show weakness, not now.
The tall man—her unexpected ally—looked at her again, his expression softening just slightly. “You’re with us now,” he said quietly, his voice a bit gentler than before.
She nodded, too drained to do anything else. The fear still lingered, but the relief was there too, creeping in like a slow tide. She wasn’t alone anymore. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, she wasn’t alone. But that didn’t mean the fear was gone. The hunger still gnawed at her, and the cold, calculating looks from some of the others told her this was far from over.
As the others dispersed, muttering to themselves, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She flinched, but when she turned, it was him—the man who had saved her. His eyes were soft, warm, filled with understanding.
“You’ll be okay,” he murmured. “We’ll keep you safe.”
She wanted to believe him. She wanted to believe that she could trust them, that this nightmare might finally be over. But as she looked around at the faces of her new group, the doubt still lingered. Safety was an illusion in this world.
And yet, it was all she had.
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Y/N sat on the cold, dusty floor, leaning against the crumbling wall of their underground hideout. She couldn’t stop shaking, her body weak, almost numb from hunger and fear. The moment they’d brought her inside, she had felt an overwhelming rush of relief, but it had been quickly replaced by the gnawing need for food and water. The world around her seemed to blur as her mind focused on one thing—survival. She had been running on empty for far too long.
A large shadow approached, the tall man who had stood up for her in front of the others. He carried a small bottle of water and something wrapped in cloth—a bit of bread, maybe. She could hardly care what it was at this point; all that mattered was that it was food.
“Here,” he said, crouching down beside her and holding out the water. His voice was calm, though his presence was still intimidating in its size. “Drink this first.”
Y/N’s hands trembled violently as she reached for the bottle, fumbling with the cap before she could unscrew it. She took a sip, and the cool water hit her parched throat like a punch, almost too much at once. She coughed, sputtering, but forced herself to drink more. It was like tasting life itself after being so close to death.
The man—her savior, really—sat beside her, watching her carefully. His presence was strangely comforting, even though he was a stranger. “Take it slow,” he advised softly, though there was a trace of amusement in his voice.
But Y/N didn’t have time to listen. As soon as he handed her the food, she tore into it like a starved animal, her teeth sinking into the bread without hesitation. She barely chewed, forcing herself to swallow each piece. Her stomach roared with hunger, but the food felt like sandpaper against her throat. She was desperate, too desperate to care.
A piece of bread lodged in her throat, and for a moment, panic surged through her chest. She coughed violently, her eyes watering as she gasped for air, still trying to stuff more food into her mouth. She didn’t want to stop, didn’t want to risk the chance that it could all be taken away.
The man next to her—he was watching her with a raised brow, his lips twitching as if he was trying not to laugh. “Careful,” he said, his voice lighter now, the edge of seriousness softening. “You’re going to choke.”
Y/N sputtered, a piece of bread half-swallowed, half stuck in her throat as she coughed and gasped. The combination of hunger, exhaustion, and embarrassment hit her all at once, and she couldn’t help but glance at him, her face burning with shame. She didn’t want to be seen like this, so desperate, so weak.
“I—I’m fine,” she managed to choke out between gasps, waving her hand weakly as if to reassure him.
He chuckled, and it wasn’t unkind. “Yeah, sure looks like it.”
Her heart sank. She hadn’t meant to make him laugh, especially not at her expense. But the sound of his laughter wasn’t cruel. It was… warm. And something about that made her want to keep talking, even through her embarrassment.
She managed to swallow the rest of the food, sitting back against the wall, still clutching the water bottle tightly. Her hands were filthy, her face streaked with dirt and fear, but for a moment, just sitting here with him, she felt something that wasn’t pure terror.
“I’m sorry,” she muttered, her voice raspy from both hunger and choking. “I… I haven’t eaten in a while.”
“I figured.” He leaned back, crossing his arms over his broad chest, still watching her with that calm, assessing gaze. “You looked like you’d been through hell when Hazel brought you here.”
Hazel. That was the man who had saved her in the store. The one who had promised her safety and a place with them. But now, this man—the one who had stood up for her—was sitting beside her, talking to her as if she weren’t just some desperate stranger. It felt surreal.
“I’m—" she started, hesitating for a moment before deciding to offer her name. "Y/N.”
“Bigwig,” he replied simply, his voice carrying a hint of pride in the name. It wasn’t a real name, not in the traditional sense, but it suited him somehow. Strong, unmovable.
Y/N blinked at the name, nearly choking on another piece of bread as she processed it. She tried to stifle the laugh, but a small, surprised giggle slipped out despite herself. She coughed again, covering her mouth, trying not to make a fool of herself.
Bigwig looked at her, and for a moment, his serious demeanor cracked. He chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Yeah, I know. Weird name, huh?”
She nodded, still trying to swallow the last bit of bread, though her face burned with embarrassment again. She wasn’t laughing at him, but she felt like a mess—like this starving, desperate girl who was sitting next to this towering man, choking on food while he tried not to laugh at her. It was absurd, and for the first time in so long, the absurdity of it all made her feel something that wasn’t fear.
Bigwig leaned back against the wall beside her, his presence calm and steady. “You’ll get used to it,” he said, offering her a reassuring look. “The name, I mean. And everything else.”
Y/N smiled faintly, wiping at her face with her sleeve, the remnants of the meal still sticking in her throat. The tension in her chest started to ease, even if only a little. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “For… you know, sticking up for me.”
Bigwig shrugged, though there was something softer in his expression now. “Don’t mention it. You’ve been through enough already. Besides,” he added with a faint grin, “it’s better if we stick together. The more of us there are, the better chance we have.”
She nodded, taking another careful sip of water, feeling it soothe her dry throat. For the first time since all of this had begun, she felt a small flicker of hope. It wasn’t much, but it was something. And sitting here, with someone who had looked out for her, who didn’t see her as a burden, that flicker of hope felt like it might actually grow into something real.
Maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t as alone as she thought.
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It was night and Y/N was still catching her breath when she heard footsteps approaching, soft but steady. The moment she lifted her head, she saw Hazel’s familiar silhouette appear in the dim light. He carried something under his arm, something soft and warm-looking.
“You doing alright?” he asked, his voice quiet, careful not to disturb the others. He knelt down beside her, his presence so calm and reassuring. It was like the chaos of the outside world didn’t exist in his company.
Y/N nodded, her stomach still full from the food Bigwig had given her, though her throat was a little sore from nearly choking earlier. "Yeah... better," she murmured, though exhaustion weighed heavily in her bones.
Hazel smiled gently, his dark eyes scanning her face as if to check if she was really telling the truth. Then he unfolded the bundle he’d brought with him—a blanket, soft and worn but warm-looking—and draped it over her shoulders. The simple act of kindness nearly made her want to cry again. She hadn’t felt comfort like this in so long, not since before everything had fallen apart.
“Here, this’ll keep you warm tonight,” Hazel said softly. “It’s cold down here.”
Y/N clutched the blanket around herself, feeling the warmth of it immediately start to seep into her skin. She looked up at Hazel, her heart skipping a beat at how close he was, how gentle he seemed. His face was so beautiful, framed by the faint light. Even in the harshness of the world they lived in now, he still looked... perfect. Too perfect, almost. Like someone who belonged in a world before all the death and destruction.
“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice barely above a breath.
Hazel smiled again, a little more brightly this time, and he sat down beside her. “It’s nothing. You need to stay strong if you’re gonna survive this.”
There was a pause, a comfortable silence between them, but Y/N couldn’t stop staring at him. The more she looked, the more she noticed—his strong jaw, the softness in his eyes, the way his hair curled slightly at the ends. He looked tired, like he had been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, but still, there was something about him that made her feel safe.
“You... you saved me back there,” Y/N murmured, her voice wavering slightly. “I don’t even know how to thank you.”
Hazel shook his head gently. “You don’t need to. We’re all just trying to make it through this nightmare. And now... well, you’re part of the group. We look after each other.”
His words made her heart swell. Part of the group. After so much time alone, so much time spent hiding and starving, she had almost forgotten what it felt like to belong somewhere.
She shifted a little under the blanket, her gaze still fixed on him. “It’s just... I didn’t think anyone was left. I thought it was just me.”
Hazel’s expression softened, and he turned to face her more directly. “You’re not alone anymore. We’ve got a little group, and we stick together.” His voice was so steady, so certain.
Y/N smiled faintly, though her eyes were still filled with awe as she looked at him. She was so tired, so drained from everything that had happened, but sitting here with him, she felt... lighter. Less like a ghost of herself and more like a person again.
“Goodnight, Y/N,” Hazel said, standing up slowly. He gave her one last look, something soft and reassuring in his eyes. “Get some rest. You’ve been through a lot.”
Y/N nodded, pulling the blanket tighter around herself, feeling the warmth from his words and the blanket wrap around her like a protective shield. “Goodnight, Hazel.”
He gave her a small smile before turning and walking away, his footsteps fading into the background. She watched him leave, her heart still beating a little faster than it should have, but not from fear. This time, it was something else. Something warmer, something that made her feel like maybe... just maybe, she wasn’t as lost as she thought.
She lay down, curling up under the blanket. Her mind was still racing, but there was something different now—a spark of hope that hadn’t been there before. She closed her eyes, and for the first time in what felt like forever, a small, genuine smile tugged at her lips.
She was safe. And she wasn’t alone anymore.
Sleep came easier than it had in days.
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In the dead of night, Y/N stirred, her body tense beneath the blanket. Something had pulled her from her sleep—no, someone. There was a noise, faint but unsettling, like the sound of muttering mixed with ragged breaths. Her heart jumped in her chest, and she instinctively reached for the blanket, clinging to it as her eyes adjusted to the darkness.
The room was dimly lit by the soft glow of an old lantern in the corner, casting long shadows on the walls. She blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of her surroundings, until her gaze landed on the source of the noise.
In the far corner, huddled against the cold stone wall, was a figure. At first, she thought it was just her mind playing tricks on her—a shadow—but no. It was a person. She squinted, heart pounding, and recognized the small, shaking form of one of the men from the group, the quiet one with wide, haunted eyes. His back was turned to her, his shoulders trembling violently as he whispered feverishly to himself, over and over, the same words that she couldn’t quite make out.
Her throat tightened. Something about the scene felt wrong, like she was witnessing something she shouldn’t. The darkness felt heavier, suffocating, and her own breath came in short, shallow gasps. Part of her wanted to stay where she was, stay silent, but another part of her—a stronger part—knew she had to do something.
Slowly, Y/N pushed the blanket off and sat up. The floor was cold beneath her feet, sending a shiver through her body, but she forced herself to stand. She took a hesitant step forward, the faint creak of the floorboards echoing in the eerie silence.
The man—Fiver, she remembered his name now—didn’t seem to notice her. His muttering had grown louder, more frantic. He rocked slightly, his arms wrapped around his knees as if trying to hold himself together. The closer she got, the clearer his words became.
“They’re coming... they’re coming... we’re all going to die...”
Her stomach churned at the sound of it. There was something off in his voice, something desperate, like he was trapped in his own mind. Her heart ached for him, but fear gnawed at her too. What had made him like this?
Y/N crouched down beside him, hesitating only for a moment before she reached out to touch his shoulder. The instant her fingers brushed his skin, he flinched violently, a sharp, guttural sound escaping his throat as he recoiled from her touch. His head snapped toward her, his wide, terrified eyes locking with hers, and for a split second, he didn’t seem to recognize her.
“No!” he gasped, scrambling back as if she were one of the undead. “No, don’t—don’t touch me! It’s too late! They’re coming, they’re coming!”
His voice was raw with terror, and Y/N’s heart shattered at the sight of him. She wanted to help, but she didn’t know how. He was unraveling right in front of her, consumed by whatever horror was playing in his mind.
“Hey,” she whispered, her voice shaking. “It’s okay. It’s just me. You’re safe. We’re safe here.”
But Fiver’s eyes darted around the room, seeing things that weren’t there, his breath coming in rapid, panicked bursts. “No... no, you don’t understand... I’ve seen it. I know what's going to happen. It’s all going to fall apart. They’ll break through. We’ll all die. You... you’ll die.”
Y/N swallowed, a cold dread creeping down her spine at his words. His fear was contagious, and she could feel it sinking into her bones, making her hands tremble. But she couldn’t let him spiral any further. She had to do something.
“Fiver,” she said more firmly, trying to make her voice soothing despite her own fear. “Look at me. Please, look at me.”
He was shaking harder now, on the verge of a full-blown panic attack. His hands clawed at the floor, his breath hitching painfully in his chest as if he couldn’t get enough air. His muttering had devolved into incoherent gasps, and Y/N knew if she didn’t calm him down soon, he would lose himself completely.
Without thinking, she reached out again, more forcefully this time, and pulled him into her arms. He resisted at first, his body stiff and trembling against hers, but she didn’t let go. She wrapped her arms around him tightly, holding him as he struggled, whispering soothing words even though her heart was hammering in her chest.
“Shh... it’s okay... it’s okay. You’re safe. We’re safe. Just breathe, Fiver. Just breathe.”
At first, he didn’t respond, still caught in the grip of his terror. His breathing was ragged, his whole body shaking uncontrollably. But slowly—agonizingly slowly—he began to calm down. His gasps turned into deep, shuddering breaths, and the tension in his muscles started to ease. He slumped against her, exhausted, his head resting against her shoulder as he finally let go of the panic that had consumed him.
Y/N held him close, her own breath shaky as she ran her fingers through his hair, soothing him like a frightened child. “You’re okay,” she whispered. “I’ve got you.”
Fiver’s breathing steadied, his body relaxing into hers as he leaned into the warmth of her embrace. His voice was hoarse and broken when he spoke again, barely a whisper. “Something bad’s coming... I can feel it.”
Y/N didn’t know how to respond to that. The weight of his words lingered in the air, heavy and foreboding, but she didn’t let it show. Instead, she held him tighter, letting her warmth shield him from whatever horrors haunted his mind.
“I’ll keep you safe,” she promised, though she wasn’t sure how much she believed it. But it seemed to be enough for him.
Eventually, his breathing slowed, his trembling stopped, and he drifted into a restless sleep, still clinging to her like a lifeline.
Y/N stayed awake long after that, her mind racing with fear, dread, and the chilling words he had whispered to her.
“Something bad’s coming...”
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@ 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.
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stxrslut · 2 days
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I think the reason why so many people hate dark content is because they don’t understand it.
Incest for example has been a big topic on this side of tumblr as kinktober approaches and a few writers, including myself have mentioned it.
why is writing incest bad? It’s not, up front. the moment it becomes bad is when you romanticise it. the same goes for other dark topics, for example necrophilia or blatant rape.
acknowledging that these things exist is not a bad thing, and neither is acknowledging that there are certain people out there who do it. it is a horrible truth that nobody wants to exist, but it does.
using the infamous rafe cameron as an example, why would you want to read an incest piece about him?
rafe is a complicated character, and a very bad person. a lot of writers don’t like to take that into account. I’m sure we’ve all seen many works where rafe is portrayed as a sweetheart, a perfect husband who cares and would never do anything to harm you.
this portrayal of rafe has become the norm for many people on this platform. and so upon seeing dark content, they are trying to imagine it with this completely different character. the version of rafe that is romanticised.
when we write this content we don’t write it with that rafe in mind. we don’t want to be with this version of rafe that we’re writing, this is a bad character and we absolutely recognise it when writing him.
of course, as mentioned there are people who are imagining it with romanticised rafe, and also assume that was the rafe it was intended to be written with.
if that was the case then writing this content most definitely would be bad.
but why would we write dark content with a reader insert if we didn’t want this to happen to us? what is the point? that’s a valid question.
primarily, self insert or ‘x reader’ is just the format that we write in. even though we may be imagining our name and or face it’s not necessarily us. reader is just a character, let’s use puppy!reader for an example, she has her own characteristics specific to the reader or character. I don’t think I am puppy reader, but I love to use her character to write a reader.
self insert and second person writing is also a very good way to explore the thoughts, feelings and actions in a character in very great detail, which a lot of writers very much enjoy doing.
this is also another misconception that people make. because in some of the situations the reader goes along with / wants these things to happen, which is very easy to mistake for writer wanting it too.
so now we know that self insert does not mean desire. but even if we don’t desire this, why do we write it?
there are many reasons. one is character analysis. there are plenty of bad characters out there, and they would do that. we are simply acknowledging that.
we like to explore complexities and nuances of characters. this character would want to do that and so how would that play out? who would it be with and what would the feelings and emotions be? it’s interesting to explore darker parts of different characters.
another reason is trauma, to people without it that sounds ridiculous. but people with trauma in these kinds of situations may find comfort or control in reading about it in a safe environment.
I have a lot of childhood trauma, and there are certain pieces of writing centred around that kind of thing can really help me to think about it and help me to control the way I think about it.
now there are some aspects of dark content that we may say we “want”, but that is generally misunderstood.
let’s use a sentence I have said many a time, “I want rafe to fuck me with a gun”. no, I absolutely do not.
I am into humiliation and power play, I also enjoy a little bit of fear and pain in some circumstances. in a safe environment, for example, a fictional one, a gun would be a perfect way to do these things.
obviously in real life I wouldn’t let anyone come near me with a gun. it’s all about interpretation and understanding of safe environments.
when I’m reading a fic where gun play may be involved I read about the humiliation and power play and all sorts and think oh fuck that is sexy. because it is, in this very safe place where a gun is not going to harm me or anyone.
the same goes for lots of other forms of dark content. we might not necessarily want the exact action, but more the sensation or feeling that comes with the action.
but why would we write it when people are going to be triggered by it?
simply put, that is not our problem. I haven’t ever come across a piece of dark content that wasn’t correctly labelled and warned.
I’m not responsible for anyone else’s media consumption, if they choose to ignore my warnings it is entirely their fault.
also, free will exists, if someone decides they don’t like what they’re reading they can simply close the piece, stop reading.
in a nutshell, if someone who writes dark content is 1. not romanticising it and 2. labelling it correctly, you don’t have a reason to target them.
learning to distinguish between dark content and predatory content is so important so we’re not attacking the wrong people.
please stop targeting writers who write dark content when there are people out there who genuinely are horrible who we do need to be targeting. focus your attention on the real issues.
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nitw · 1 day
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the whole sigcorp franchise is about grief -- life, death, grief, and moving on. but i really appreciate how each game handles the topic differently and paints a new perspective of it via the characters in focus:
in to the moon, johnny struggles to cope with a loss and a sense of guilt he can't rationalize. the game asks if it's fair for johnny to be happy if his happiness outweighs the real memories and consequences of the life he lived... but ultimately, it's not up for the doctors (or us) to decide -- johnny's love for river was real, and that mattered to him more than anything else deep down. nothing could change that fact, and he subconsciously held onto it, even as the fabric of reality broke down around him.
in finding paradise, colin struggles to accept his own life coming to an end despite having little to no regrets, and uses fantasy as an excuse to justify his dissatisfaction. the game asks if there's any clear difference between "real" memories and "the fiction we tell ourselves"... but when so much of our lives is fueled by a natural fear of death and loneliness, the distinction barely matters. every moment can be meaningful if you just want it to be, even if it's in retrospect. even the little things.
in impostor factory, lynri struggles with seeing worth in her own life, yet simultaneously does everything she can to leave a lasting mark on the world -- while quincy struggles to be her anchor, as he becomes increasingly aware that they can't live a normal life together. the game asks if lynri has the right to be selfish and pursue her goals at the expense of any chance at happiness with quincy, or if quincy has the right to be selfish and keep lynri grounded if that just seals her fate... but there's no correct answer to that. life is too complicated for there to be a singular, perfect thread of choices. sometimes pain is unavoidable, so all you can do is make the most of what you have while it still lasts.
and every time, these dilemmas are directly mirrored through eva and neil. it always circles back to the hypocritical nature of what sigcorp does, to eva putting on a strong face and trying to see these issues in black and white to protect herself, to neil genuinely believing in the value of his work but failing to take his own advice.
i think the beach episode was the perfect conclusion to all of this. we don't know how eva's gonna carry on now... but we have to imagine that she is. we have to hold onto that hope, for her sake and for our own. we, the audience, have to accept this as the end of the series, and believe that the moment we press the escape key, eva accepts it as well.
these fictional people's lives meant something to us. and if there was hope for them, there's hope for us, too.
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cxndiedvi0lets · 17 hours
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To the American Horror Story Community. Please Read this.
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Hello, you may know me as Violet or CxndiedVi0lets, but I think I'm gonna have to drop the Violet Harmon stuff.
I don't want to associate to her any longer with my Violet content. I want to address that I'm not trying to imitate the events of my life, and it's better if you guys could stop it.
The community has always been toxic that I'm aware of because of the idolisation.
Violet has only been my comfort character, and I want to establish that because I find these rumours rubbish. I chose Violet because she was the closest character that I've felt comfort in due to the correlation of the events in my life with her and I feel a sense of connection towards her that felt empowering for atleast awhile but, since life has took a toll on me, I begin to feel triggered by the concept and accusations of my correlation to the fictional character being a 'copy'. I will admit to establishing imitations for my comfort towards her, but I no longer want to correlate to her because it triggers me, especially the ongoing competition, and it makes me feel like people are assuming my life events to a similar fictional character are being taken as a joke or unserious and has become completely problematic because I've been viewed more as a "copycat" or "wannabe" rather than a person who just feels a direct connection to a fictional character.
With that said, I'd like people to remind them that these "copy cats, " "wannabes," or "imitations" may just find comfort in the character and not wanting to establish themselves AS the actual character and that you should be mindful with the things you say to others before creating that assumption.
Some people may be just expressing themselves and finding the imitation of finding a comfort character that could express for them.
I will admit, I haven't been the saint in the past either and have gone through childish conflicts, and no one does want to admit it. We all want to be Violet Harmon as some point to be empowered and viewed for being brave despite the challenges they face that may seem scary and shows an aspect of Violet, that it is okay to feel weak sometimes and that other peoples views shouldn't bother you because no matter what information people hold on you or your expression and actions are not yourself.
People have layers and flaws, and that's alright. What isn't alright is reacting to extremes. It's okay to be afraid or frustrated with events and it is normal to talk behind people but that doesn't make it right.
It's disappointing to see how this community had become a competition rather than people just connecting to each other and creating relationships of deeper expressions with unspoken words.
Sometimes 'imitations' can become extreme and don't make it right, but always be mindful that this could be a sense of expression, and it doesn't give anyone the right to comment on others and reflect them as if they are trying to be the character themselves but rather finding the character as an alter-ego of empowerment or a reflection of themself.
As for my situation, the reason I no longer want to associate with her is the events I've had associated with this community, and I'll admit. It took me some time and reflection that these are harmful and painful even if I seem strongheaded or ignorant towards the previous asks I've received. It made me feel as if no one was taking me seriously and rather displaying myself as a competitor towards an in real life imitation of a character, and it's extremely painful and just washes me to seeing the character in darker light or matter. You don't know me, and my actions do not reflect me as a person, but one thing I can assure you is. I am a person who means no harm and just wanting to express myself and had been built over paranoia from cyberbullying, and although people have told me to ignore it. It doesn't change the fact that it has and took a toll for me.
I've seen people on this community that I've cared about that has faced this challenge as well and I'm asking you all to be kind.
If you see something you don't like, talk to them or talk to a friend for advice or even so ignore it.
I have seen and heard things that have completely shattered me and my trust but, I continue to interact because im a hopeful person and I know people can change and will change but, It doesn't change the fact that the actions they have committed will be erased in my memory that may make me cautious and wary. I want to express myself as a caring individual and will set arays and boundaries if needed even if I do act to my extremes due to being mentally challenges.
As for people who think they're being copied, isn't it better to maybe talk to them and get to know them or even be closer to them?
You never know, as for @irl-violetharmon and as for @ciggiestash , I want to publicly apologise for our conflicts before even if it has passed. I want to commend her for her kindness, and as for the girls who think they're imitating others, try to push that thought away.
Because some girls just take inspiration from others, and it should be flattering to you that you have become a display as someone to look up to or idolise. That isn't something that happens to everyones lifetime.
Just because my association to Violet has ended doesn't mean I won't continuously try to express myself to the comfort of this fandom, and I have found friends and even perhaps a family. Admist the toxicity, I dislike social media for this, but besides that. I've created a foundation of friends who have helped me and freely express myself without judgement. Thank you, @jazz-berry @yandereunsolved @heartz4peter @0rfielvamp @mooniehoneyrey @fear-is-truth @hauntedrose555 and many others that I haven't tagged.
Please be a better community and better people. You have all been a part of my journey and my life despite all of it being online.
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Hihi slug, I love your work, and thanks for everything!! Since Matenro season is nearly upon us, I was wondering if we could get your opinion on the solo snippets🤞🤞
Matenro's new solo previews are SO GOOD, what do you think of them?
Thank you both for notifying me about them! Taking a look now...
(The album is probably already out now, but... better late than never...)
Jakurai's A Majestic Figure
Title note: 4-kanji compounds are like the SAT vocab words of Japanese; they're not super common in everyday speech and can evoke a literary or sophisticated feeling. This one is...interesting. To the best of my knowledge, it isn't a standard compound (I'm also not getting any hits when I Google it) and I wonder if that's significant. It's just two words strung together to make the appearance of fanciness, perhaps. I couldn't say for certain. At any rate, both 威風 and (especially) 颯爽 describe a majestic, often captivating appearance. This isn't to say that such qualities of dignity or majesty aren't real, but I definitely feel like both terms are defining a subject from an outside perspective. These aren't terms I would ever expect someone to describe themselves with, which makes the song title sound like it's an outside observer commenting on Jakurai instead of Jakurai talking about himself. We see this happen a lot in Hypmic, with people putting Jakurai on pedestals or Jakurai struggling to see himself as the same grand figure others perceive him as. As a result, I wrote the song title as "A Majestic Figure" to emphasize the appearance of majesty, whereas the character of the figure is unknown. Anyway, let's dive in and see what this is all about.
(10 seconds in) Vibing with these instrumentals
(19 seconds in) Not vibing with these "ah"s... but we can't have everything in life
(43 seconds in) I'm a little too tired to fully keep up (I'll look up the lyrics when I'm done) but I REALLY like the urgency in the delivery, which is so at odds with the flowing, dignified background music. In JPN fiction as a whole, flusteredness/desperation is contrasted with calmness as a synonym for imperfection and perfection. Jakurai is, honestly, really kind of a desperate character...yet one that appears outwardly calm/perfect to most of the rest of the cast, so it's interesting that we get to see his desperate nature on full display right at the start of the song.
(1:26 in) Hand motif mentioned *Cinemasins ding* (of
(End) Thank you uta-net for having the lyrics up already; ily. Let's see now... Interesting. I'll have to read them again in more depth later, but it looks like a call to forgive past wounds and seek out a better, less painful way of existence--in a societal sense, a religious (as in like, ascending or becoming enlightened) sense, and a personal sense. All great things to see Jakurai expressing. Again, it's interesting to see Jakurai expressing this with such urgency, even if these are things we know he really, really cares about. That coupled with the background music seems to match a bit in the lyrics that says "And [to end war within society, paraphrased] I take grand, dignified action mixed with the discord and noise of Shinjuku, a samsara spiral of cacophonous echoes." Mixing the stately and the chaotic, the "imperfect" and the "perfect." Really interesting stuff!
Hifumi's The Beginning of the Last Song
Title note: "Last Song" is English and written in katakana, which is a sharp contrast to the style of Jakurai's title. Creates a much younger and casual feel appropriate for Hifumi. Not much else to say here, so let's jump in.
(10 seconds in) Modern indie pop song on the radio feel. I'm not a fan of autotune in general so I'm not in love with this, but I'm hopeful it'll pick up soon.
(22 seconds in) I listen to so much "soft hiphop" (for lack of a better term) during work that my brain instantly catapulted itself into work mode and stopped paying any attention to the words. Coffee mug? Check. Emails? Check. Anxiety? Check. Let me rewind and listen to this properly.
(32 seconds in but for real this time) So far, very Hifumi. Opening verse has some fun figurative language but essentially says Hifumi's suit is pure courage he dons like a suit of armor. In doing so, it masks him and makes him become like a whole other person. From there, he switches to addressing a listener: "I want to soothe your mental wounds. I want to change your frown into a smile. I won't let go of your hands, and no, I'm not doing this for a reward." It's something that Hifumi should be saying to himself (something Hifumi wants to hear, maybe?) and yet he says "To [Host!]me, this is happiness."
(59 seconds in) Hmm... I was going to say this song feels sad to me, because all these positive messages of "Keep going! You're safe now!" are framed as being directed at other people, and I was like..."Hifumi, who's going to say that to you? Who's going to help you feel that way?" but then the line "You made me realize I'm not alone" radically flips the framing so that it DOES become things Hifumi is saying to himself, too. How nice. :) I would not want to translate this, personally... Haha it's using the vagueness of Japanese grammar and lyrical conventions to great effect, but I don't feel comfortable touching that personally.
(1:02) Hell yeah, belt that shit, homie
(1:32) So it's a last song in the sense that it's a farewell or the final song of his old self. Now he's the new, healing Hifumi. We love to see it 10/10 bravo. The song is also a happy, heartfelt thank you to the unspoken listeners (presumably Matenrou) who helped him feel less alone. That's cute! I like it. I probably shouldn't go here, but I find it intriguing how the vagueness of listeners is utilized. The first time the listeners are addressed, the language is...if not borderline romantic, pathos-filled to the point where it's definitely evocative of his host job (hence why he's not seeking compensation for handholding, an often romantic gesture). Yet it's borderline enough that it wouldn't be inappropriate to imagine it being addressed to Matenrou instead of his patrons. Hahaha. Again, another reason I don't want to go near this one.
(Overall) I like it! A nice ballad for Hifumi.
Doppo's Andante
(5 seconds in) For a song called Andante, this has a faster tempo than at least one other song on this album lol. But it's much less frenetic than Doppo's other solos, so there's that, I guess.
(7 seconds in) This delivery is giving me anime ending made by a 2010s rock band vibes lol.
(14 seconds in) Damn there's a baller line here that I'm stumped on how to convey in Eng in a way that's both baller and sensical. Meaning wise, it's like "I want to take back the things I shouldn't have said and give them as a present to you" and in figurative language it's like "Once, I used to fire words into the air [speak things in anger or carelessly]. Now, I want to gather them up [esp. like a bouquet of flowers] after their flight and use them to decorate you [again, like flowers or like a piece of jewelry--it's a positive connotation]" Pop off, Doppo
(40 seconds in) Oh this is killer and also going to need some major explaining. Doppo's name is literally "he who walks alone" which is usually considered a positive thing--someone who "walks the path of life" alone would have gotten there by outstripping the rest of the pack. In Doppo's case, though, this is a negative thing. I think it's not as obvious to Eng-only fans, and I know I didn't really think about it for a long time myself, but Doppo considers himself a "loser" bc he didn't follow a conventional life path. It's considered atypical to switch employers, especially very early on in one's career, as he did when he stood up for Hifumi and got himself fired at his first job. Part of why he puts up with shitty treatment at EL Medical is because it's one of the few places that would hire someone who switched employers at such a young age. (Sidebar: My (probably flawed, as I don't live in Japan) impression is that this is becoming less and less of a thing as time goes on and the economy goes to shit, but I think it's the self-stigma more than anything else that's affecting Doppo. To me, it feel similar to the societal pressures in the US to attend and graduate from a four-year college. Plenty of people don't for all sorts of reasons, but because that's so ingrained as the default life story for Americans in a lot of communities, Doppo's dealing with the kind of disappointment and self-hatred someone who dropped out before getting a four year degree might feel.) Doppo beats himself up about that a lot, but here we get that lovely line of "In the waves of people (hitonami) passing all around me, I no longer see anyone who looks like me. It's a shame, because I always wanted to be just like everyone else (hitonami)." Outside of that beautiful wordplay on hitonami, we're also treated to the figurative language of hitonami being literally "in line with others." Doppo, a character who walks through life alone, wanted to walk through life at the same pace/reaching the same milestones at the same time as everyone else.
(1:04 in) "Life is a tightrope act; it's like walking a balance beam [lit. "average beam" aka a beam where everything is averaged/balanced]. In a country where not everything can be average (narasarenai) and where even if the things that [I] can accomplish (narasareru) don't matter [in the eyes of society], sometimes the sounds I want to make don't come out right (narasarenai). When that happens, I can call myself pitiful--or I can feel the breathing of the beautiful flowerbed that is this city, and when someone's humming under their breath disturbs that short break [lit. breath], I ask them 'So, what is this happiness thing anyway?'" I would rather die than TL this song but I'm LOVING the creativity and depth of the lyrics.
(1:27) WILD! FUCKING! CHEERING!!! "You fake smiles in a mirror to make other people happy and call it love. It's a form of hypnosis, and I've made a go of falling under its spell because I just want to be equals [on par with, balanced], and so if you and I can walk these crowded streets together, then I think I don't mind as much that I'm always walking alone." THE GROWTH! THE GROWTH!!!!
Damn, this album's lyrics go hard. What a feast.
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boujiestpoet · 2 days
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STARCROSSED ( Charles Leclerc x Oc)
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PREVIOUS CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER
MASTERLIST
Summary: It really takes a village pt1
FACECLAIM: The extraordinary Tems
THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION. THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE CHARACTERS DOES NOT REFLECT THE REAL PERSONALITIES OF THE INDIVIDUAL UPON WHOM THEY ARE BASED. I AM MERELY BORROWING THEIR PHYSICAL LIKENESS AND THE PROFESSION THEY HAVE FOR THE SAKE OF THIS NARRATIVE
TW: Cringiness from the writer, grammatical errors (have mercy english is my semi firsr language)
Monte Carlo, Monaco
It was a quiet night, the sky an inky velvet blanket shined with stars, the streets nearly deserted. The gentle hum of the sea lapping against the harbor could barely be heard through the open window of Charles Leclerc’s apartment. Charles was slumped on his couch, and his mother Pascale sat beside him, she was the only anchor of peace he had at the moment.
For a while they remained silent, the silence was not as comforting as it usually was.
Pascale knew her son, his way of thinking and problem solving, but clearly at the moment her son was feeling suffocated by his own thoughts.
“ Charles” her voice was soft, she placed her hand gently on his hand, rubbing in a slow comforting circle.
“ You don’t need to say anything, remember I’m always hear”
He raised his head, his eyes read and glossy.  He blinked, taking in the familiar faces of his mother, he deeply exhaled he was finally safe at home.
“ Maman it hurts” he said, his voice almost inaudible “ I thought that she..” his voice shaked, the sentence trailing off as a fresh wave of pain hit him.
She continued to try to console the young man, looking at him with compassion. Charles’ eyes sparkled everytime when he was talking about Leah, everybody could see that the driver was in love. Obviously in all relationships there was some up and down, but with more time passed, more problems were showing up. 
“ You really loved her didn’t you?” she asked
Charles softly nodded, “ I did……I thought we were something special and deep, we promised each other that we would be there for each other, in any situation" 
“ Did you think she was the one Charles?” she asked, the room was silent one more time. She carefully stared at him, while he was trying to force words out of his mouth, but nothing came out, he didn’t have an answer.
“ It’s alright if you don’t know” shesaid, her voice filled with love.
Charles swallowed hard “ I really thought she was the one Maman” his voice was croaky “After all this I don’t know…. how can I ?” he rubbed his face confused
“ I still can’t believe, I didn’t expect it, yes I’ve busy….” he sighed “ her best friend’s boyfriend, how can she be the one I fell in love?” he said astonished.
“ Charles you loved her, of course you trusted her, but unfortunately sometimes the people we love the most are the one who hurt us”
Charles leaned into his mother’s embrace, resting his head on her shoulder, he didn’t say anything else for a long time.
"Do you think I’ll ever find someone who’s really… the one?" he asked eventually, his voice laced with uncertainty.
Pascale smiled softly, pressing a kiss to his temple. "You will. But you don’t need to rush it, Charles. Love will come when it’s meant to. And when it does, you’ll know. Truly know."
Charles closed his eyes, letting her words settle into his heart, allowing himself the small comfort they brought. He didn’t have all the answers right now, and maybe that was okay.
Maybe healing didn’t come from having everything figured out, but from the quiet moments of support, the love that never wavered, even when everything else did.
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Can Money buy Forgiveness ?
By: Sarah Caldwell | Celebrity Insider
It looks like drama is brewing in the celebrity world once again! According to reports, since 5 a.m. this morning, a flurry of activity has been spotted outside actress Renée's house. Couriers have been seen going in and out, delivering flowers and lavish gifts, sparking speculation. An insider has apparently managed to get a scoop from one of the delivery drivers, who confirmed that the gifts are coming from none other than model Ben Fields.
For those not in the loop, Ben Fields allegedly cheated on Renée with her best friend, influencer Leah Dawn. The question on everyone's mind now: is Ben trying to win Renée back after his betrayal? Only time will tell if these grand gestures are enough to heal the damage caused by the scandalous affair.
Stay tuned for updates!
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AN: She's back with another one. I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS NEW CHAPTER. How do you feel about real life and social media being in one chapter. Advice is welcome just be nice.
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pikuniku53353358 · 2 days
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My au for "Rain world" - "Sinful world"
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ATTENTION, FURTHER INFORMATION WILL TOUCH A LITTLE ON MY PERSONALITY AND INFORMATION ON MY AU on rain world "sinful world"! PLEASE READ ALL THE WAY TO THE END, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME! AND I'M ALSO OPENING AN ASK BLOG ON MY AU, SO IF YOU WANT TO ASK MY CHARACTERS ANY QUESTIONS, THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO HAVE AT LEAST SOME INFORMATION ON Sinful world ANYWAY! (and this post was written with the help of a translator, so I apologize in advance for any possible mistakes^^") So, if someone doesn't know, then I'm Piku_nik, but you can just call me Piku. I am 13 years old, I draw on my phone with my finger in ibis paint. I'm looking for different fandoms, such as: rain world, hollow knight, ori and the blind forest, just shapes and beats, gravity falls, fundamental paper education, etc.I will mainly draw art for the rain world game.My favorite ships for this game:
Saint/Monk
Artificer/Rivulet
Gourmand/Survivor
Watcher/Enot
Spear master/Hunter
I also have my own au related to rain world, and now I will tell you a lot of it. However, I will not mention one part of the information, since my Persians themselves will be able to answer it in the form of an aska (so do not hesitate to write me messages with your questions about my au :)), and I will not be able to mention other information since I am currently writing fan fiction on a Russian platform called "Ficbook.net " by This week, and it's not finished yet. Some of my readers are following me on tumblr, which means I won't be able to drop plot spoilers here. Don't worry, you'll find out in time, but it will take some time :)
AU setting: all SW actions take place in a kind of simulation. The world is quite realistic and is located in three-dimensional space, however, by its very nature it obeys game laws and logic, which means that the creatures there have an indicator of karma, hunger, cycle duration report, etc., in general, everything that is in the base game.
Characters: Inv (Enot)
Fear (THE REAL NAME IS STILL UNKNOWN!)
Developers
Monk
Survivor
Hunter
Gourmand
Cold-blooded Wind (Golden Eye)
Fragile Compassion
Big Heart
Feeling of Fault
Hate
(the list of characters will be updated over time, but at the moment there are as many characters in the fanfiction as written above)
The plot in brief:The developers have already created many different mini-worlds called "campaigns" and placed slugs with different histories, chaoacters and goals for life there. But that wasn't enough for the gods. They became bored with ordinary worlds that follow some kind of rules. Therefore, they hastily created the "Enota campaign" and created almost simultaneously one of their most important and dominant persons in SW — Enota and Fear (he was not called that before, so I will call Whity in this period of time, BUT this is not the canonical name of this character, but only a temporary code name)). They were both immediately told that they existed in a fictional world and that they were created only so that both poor slugs would suffer. And Enota was also given out how pathetic and insignificant he was, and then they threw both slugs into their world. An important clarification: Whity and Enot had not seen each other before, the developers created them separately from all the others so that they would not see each other inadvertently.
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Enot did not know how to survive in his world, which is why he spent a lot of effort to survive his first cycle. All this was observed by Whity, which in fact is essentially the soul of Enot, which is imprisoned in his consciousness, into which Enot himself can penetrate only when he is asleep. And so, in a dream, the slugs met and became friends. The developers also informed him about their nature when creating Whity, and also said that if Enot commits at least one sin, it will affect his soul, that is, on Whity itself. He will be in terrible pain and constantly writhing in pain. And knowing all this information from the developers, Whity asked his friend not to commit any sins. The soul was terribly paranoid and did not allow Enot to enter normally and step in. He even forbade slug to pick up a spear in principle, and as a result, to fight in order to banal self-defense.
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Enot did not know how to survive in his world, which is why he spent a lot of effort to survive his first cycle. All this was observed by Whity, which in fact is essentially the soul of Enot, which is imprisoned in his consciousness, into which Enot himself can penetrate only when he is asleep. And so, in a dream, the slugs met and became friends. The developers also informed him about their nature when creating Whity, and also said that if Enot commits at least one sin, it will affect his soul, that is, on Whity itself. He will be in terrible pain and constantly writhing in pain. And knowing all this information from the developers, Whity asked his friend not to commit any sins. The soul was terribly paranoid and did not allow Enot to enter normally and step in.
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No matter how hard Enot tried to rid his friend of these sins, there were more and more of them, and at the same time the pain from these sins only became stronger and more unbearable. At this point, a Feeling of Fault appears in the plot. This character is metaphorical, we can say that he does not exist in reality, he is needed so that one can understand the thoughts and feelings of one of the characters, in our case, Enot. That is, it means that only Enot can see Feeling of Fault and talk to him. Because of the fractures in the relationship with Whity, Feeling of Fault began to tell Enot that he was still a loser and a weakling, which only added more oil to the fire and made the whole situation only worse. At some point, a real scandal broke out between Enot and Whity during which they stopped being friends. After that, after a while, Whity was completely consumed by sins, and Enot's Feeling of Fault became especially strong during this period of time. Enot's consciousness, in order to protect him, sharpened Feeling of Fault and began to gradually erase all painful memories associated with Whity. At some point, he completely forgot about his former friend and can be said to have started life with a clean slate. And it would seem that this is a good thing, now Enot has become completely free from the prohibitions of his former friend, and even now no Feeling of Fault will bother him, but... The thirst for blood still remained in him. At first, Enot tried to suppress her and he killed especially only scavengers, because they had caused him too much pain in the past, but over time, Enot's moral compass completely erased and he began killing everyone indiscriminately in rather cruel ways, eager to hear the screams of his victims and taste their torn flesh and meat. Enot-maniac was very strong because he faced enemies every cycle and learned to defeat them. He became so strong that the scavengers, realizing that they could not resist this psychopath in any way, began to hide in secret bunkers underground without proper food, heat and much more. Enot-maniac destroyed the lives of many creatures, and those who miraculously survived were left with many mental injuries. The most revealing of them will be my scavenger character named Cold-blooded Wind. As a child, an Enot-maniac tore off his eye, but he was able to escape, however, this incident affected not only physically, but also mentally (you can learn the details of the Wind's background from ask. Believe me, everything is much worse there than you think. This is the third most tragic character in SW)
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He even forbade slug to pick up a spear in principle, and as a result, to fight in order to banal self-defense. It seemed to Enot-maniac that he had reached the top and found his happiness and the meaning of life, but... That's not so. He actually needed companionship and good friends all this time. He began to wish for it as soon as the developers abandoned him to his fate. Throughout his life, Enot has never been able to feel real affection and support from others, and as a result, the murders of Enot-maniac began to get boring. What's the point of killing everyone and everything like that? He had tried all possible methods of murder on his victims anyway, everyone had long ago realized that Enota was a maniac worth being afraid of... A small piece of forgotten memories was able to remind Enot-maniac of the void sea, which Whity once told him about and he headed to it in order to finally find his long-awaited peace. But plunging into it, Enot found himself in a dating simulator. He spent a lot of time in it, and during this time, Enot, communicating with other slugs and not killing anyone, realized that he was wrong. That killing is not an option and that he wants to find friends! That's just how to do it if you can't get out of dating sim? But who said that it is ABSOLUTELY impossible to get out of dms? Remembering what kind of drug addiction an Enot egg could create in a dating simulator, he threw it at one of the buttons in this space and it was swallowed up by a singularity. Then the walls cracked and behind them was the code of all slug campaigns, as well as the code of the dms itself, which was also swallowed up by this black hole. After that, this hole in space and time turned into a portal and sucked Enot into it.He found himself back in his campaign, but now some of the chips from dms are now working in his world (that is, the egg can now create fierce nonsense and drug addiction here if desired), as well as slugs from its campaigns appeared in different parts of his world. The Raccoon has a new chance to start this life from scratch, make friends and find his happiness by ascending into the void sea. First of all, he changed his name to Eve, since the name Raccoon was now associated with his dark past. After meeting the Monk, he realized that there were probably a lot of such popadans in his world, so Inv decides to create his own gang called the "VC Gang" (VC - Void Cats). At the moment, this gang consists of Monk, Survivor, Hunter, Gourmet, their tamed red lizard and Inv himself, who is the leader here.On the way of our friends, there will be many obstacles that will mainly occur due to Fear (as Inv called Whity when they met again), which, due to sins, received quite a lot of power and authority. In order to put obstacles to slugs, he sends a black parasite blob into the real world, which infects a creature nearby that is afraid of Inv, which means that he cannot infect the same Inv friends, because slugcat is obviously not afraid of them. However, other obstacles will be encountered due to Inv's dark past, which he tries to hide from everyone. Scavengers still remember the time when the Enot Maniac raged in their world, and this will have its consequences...
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That's all for now. I remind you that you can safely ask me additional questions about my au. My characters will answer them in the ask blog. I hope at least someone has read up to this point and is interested in my QwQ fanfiction, and I'll also give you a link to my fanfiction just in case, maybe someone won't be too lazy to read it with the help of a translator: https://ficbook.net/readfic/13570641
Additional content by my au:
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Designs by Cold-Blooded Wind and his friends - Fragile Compassion and Big Heart.
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Yeah I think the whole "cuddling for warmth with the man made of fire" thing with coalecroux is cute but also as someone with back pain where's "Gideon I require your healing prowess (cuddles until my damn back ache goes away)"
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i finally read light novel 6 and i’m thinking about kayama (midnight) again.
i’m thinking about how gentle and compassionate she was with eri, finally providing the motherly love that sweet child deserves. and yet the universe saw to it that yet another mother figure to eri disappeared without saying goodbye.
i’m thinking about her “folks”, still alive in the horrific way some parents must outlive their kids. the ones who loved her enough to keep her kimono after over two decades of being unused, because the garb was precious just for having been a temporary part of her.
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i’m thinking about her love for her friends and the students, her heart always open for others. how she always made the effort to connect, because at the end of the day, what else is there that humans truly need?
im thinking about the grief they all still held for shirakumo, and the magnification of that ache for aizawa and yamada as they lose yet another loved one too soon. the glue that held them together, cruelly taken and leaving no time for proper mourning.
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i’m thinking about the vigor for life she always preached, and all of the years she should’ve had left to be filled with the plans she was making. i’m thinking of her hopes, her dreams, and the brighter days she hoped were ahead.
i’m thinking of the unnatural order of things, with recovery girl having to bury her student being the same sort of twisted fate as a parent having to bury their child. i’m thinking about how it wasn’t supposed to be like this.
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im thinking about kayama.
i’m thinking about all of the teachers, and recovery girl and nezu, who will remember her when the cherry blossoms bloom the next spring. how her absence will be glaring and gutting, the pain still too fresh and so wrong.
i’m thinking about aizawa, and how after all of these years he will be faced with an abandoned sushi once again, without shirakumo and kayama to step in and care for the cat this time.
i’m thinking about the students, likely the first experience of true loss for most of them. i’m thinking about the kindness, encouragement, and patience left behind. the fond memories, the valuable lessons, and the warm compassion she provided. i’m thinking of all of the things that will be cherished by those who loved her that must live on in her wake.
i’m thinking of kayama, of her loss, and i mourn.
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squishi-bunni · 1 year
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"I'll always love you."
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Howl x Reader Drabble
Hurt-Comfort
Reader has abandonment issues
"Love, what's wrong?"
"Are you going to leave me?" I ask.
His eyes widen at me. "What?"
I felt tears prick my eyes. "Are you going to leave me?" I repeat. "When I stop being interesting, are you going to toss me out? Will my true self repulse you?"
Howl grabs my shoulders firmly, forcing my eyes to meet his. His gaze is stern, but his eyes still have some softness.
"Even when I learn everything there is to know about you--every quirk, every flaw, everything you may for some reason hate about yourself--I will stay by your side."
For some reason, I broke into a fit of sobbing. I don't know why exactly, but at those words--words I've never heard from anyone before--everything I had been holding back broke through the damn I'd built.
Howl pulled me close, pressing my chest flush against his, and he gently caressed my face, wiping away the tears.
He held my cheeks like porcelain pots and made me look into his eyes. "I know you're used to being left behind, but I promise my love, I'll never leave you. No matter what, I'll always love you and always be yours."
There was nothing else I could do but smile into his hands. I held his face in the same way he held mine and said, "I'll always love you, too."
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eowynstwin · 26 days
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Also this fic is not exactly going to be Bridgerton rules, given the racist underpinning of the Gaz-König thing in fandom, but I don’t really want to write any overt hate crimes given that this fic is for fun. So if you’re reading it and thinking “is this referencing him being black” the answer is almost always going to be yes
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brown-little-robin · 9 months
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.
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rotzaprachim · 11 months
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fundamentally at odds with any us based franchise that fandomizes war as a money maker
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hussyknee · 1 year
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Everyone stop what you're doing and go read KJ Charles. She is a master class in queer historical fiction and writing diversity authentically.
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monitorkernelaccess · 5 months
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do you guys think that Falin is like. okay with her chimera form? does she accept it as just what her body is in that moment? does she think it’s cool, or would she in other circumstances? is she having fun like flapping her big wings and climbing up walls and swishing her tail and such?
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