#The miracles of motivation. Anyways I do hope you enjoy!

[valeriefauxnom]

Chapter 17 of Scaling the Walls of a Mystery is out!

In which Euden decides to go big and not leave home, wherein 'home' indicates his room, and the rest of the family is Suffering now right alongside him. They also fail Hostage Negotiation 101!

Exert from chapter (~9k out of ~198k):

Leonidas all but growled. “Cease this childishness at once. This is a losing situation for you. You have no recourse to flee. You have no resources. Need be, we can simply wait for you to fall asleep and strike then.” Oh. That… might work? Euden didn’t sound all that broken up. “Then I guess I’ll just have to stay awake, then. I’ll inform you that I’m a light sleeper and used to long nights, though, and even if you did catch me unawares, nothing would stop me from shapeshifting upon waking. Keep that in mind if I ever wake in a different location.”  “We can only try to convince him to come out,” Phares said quietly, face grim as he vocalized the conclusion they all were headed for, before he continued in an exasperated tone, “Euden, please. Is this what you really want to do? Starve and dehydrate yourself, stay awake for hours on end, for what? What do you hope to gain by doing this?”

And, just because it's funny and fitting, I'm bringing these things my friend made back:

[lost-pen-name]

Tom Ryder x fem!reader

Summary: Tom invited you to be his plus-one at a party with him. His friends are there along with a handful of your coworkers. Parties aren’t really your ideal pastimes (small talk, loud crowds, yuck) but you went anyway because maybe this one will be different. It wasn’t. Your introvert side kicks into gear after you lose track of Tom and make several terrible attempts at small talk. You escape the throngs of people and hide in the best place you could find: the grungy bathroom.

Word count: 2320

Warnings: mild spice, kissing

Author note: This was one of THE most fun fics I’ve ever written. 🙈 I was lowkey giddy the entire time. 😍 I hope you enjoy it just as much! ❤️

{ kiss me when nobody’s watching }

You startled at the sound of someone rapping their knuckles on the door.

“Hey, you in here?” Tom’s voice is muffled but you can tell it’s him.

“Go away, I’m not here,” you said as you took a step closer to the door. You pressed your forehead against it, the cool wood soothing the start of a headache. “Please leave, Tom.” You’re really starting to feel like Elsa from Frozen but there is zero chances he’s about to ask you to build a snowman with him.

“What, you scared of socializing?” You can just see the big dumb grin on his face. It’s that grin that makes you simultaneously want to slap the daylights out of him and kiss him until he saw stars.

Right now, it was definitely the first.

“No. I just want to go home.” You thumped your head on the door. It didn’t help the headache but it did help release some of the pent up frustration. “Whatever, just leave it. Go back to your party. Have fun without me, I know that’s very possible.”

It’s quiet for a few heartbeats. You held your breath and waited. Maybe he actually left? That’d be a miracle, he doesn’t typically listen to your requests. At least, not the first time you ask.

“No, I don’t want to.” Is he pouting?

“Ugh, Tom, please stop being so stubborn for one moment and go back.” No response. “I’ll be fine up here, I swear.” Maybe he’s worried about you? Highly unlikely but still.

“Can you just open the door so we can talk like normal humans? I can barely even hear you,” he whined.

You groaned. You hit your head on the door a few more times for good measure before reaching for the doorknob and opening the door an inch. The hallway was dark. With the faint glow coming from downstairs, you can make out Tom leaning against the wall by the door. He’s looking at his hands, using his thumbnail to clean out his other nails. He immediately straightened at the sound of the door being pushed open. You aren’t ready for the direct eye contact he made as he stood in front of you. His stormy eyes made your heart do acrobatics. You clenched your hands. He always seemed to have this effect on you just by standing close.

“Want to tell me why you’re hiding all the way up here?” He gestured around at the small bathroom.

You frowned. “Can’t a girl have a bathroom break?”

“Well, yeah,” he said as he pushed his way further into the room. Your eyes widened and you took a step back. “But you didn’t sound like you were going to come back down. Why?” Another step forward. Now he’s past the doorway, you and him almost standing body-to-body, leaning over you slightly.

You have got to look away from those heavy-lidded eyes. They’re making your thoughts lose motivation to stay afloat and drowning in those crashing waves was getting harder to fight. Your gaze moved down. Now you were counting the three buttons his shirt had undone and noticing how the fine hair on his chest was damp with sweat. Maybe looking here wasn’t much better but anything’s better than trying to think under that crushing gaze. “I don’t see how this matters.”

“Yes, it does. I invited you.” He pointed at himself. “And I want to know.”

“I just don’t like parties!” You threw your hands in the air. “There, satisfied?”

His gaze darkened. “Then why did you come?”

“Because, idiot, you invited me! And I wanted to come with you! I wanted to be with you. But now I’m chickening out and hiding up here and away from awkward small talk.” You let out a breath and looked back up at Tom. “Satisfied?”

He clenched his jaw and relaxed it. A tick he did when he was thinking. “You could’ve said you didn’t want us to go.”

You let out a sharp laugh. “As if that would’ve made a difference. I don’t have that kind of effect on you.”

He leaned down further, practically forcing you to look at him. Your throat tightened at the close proximity. You’d be surprised if he couldn’t hear your heart thundering against your rib cage.

“What are you talking about?” His gaze is searching as he looked into your eyes. “You’ve always had an effect on me.”

“Oh, c’mon, you’ve used that on every girl.” You sighed and turned to walk a few steps away from him.

You’re surprised when you heard the door shut and his footsteps as he followed you further into the bathroom. “You doubt me too much.”

The tiny bit of whine in his tone made you prickle. You whirled around to find Tom standing right behind you. You pressed a finger to his chest. “And you throw your words around too much. I know you flirt with almost every girl your eyes land on and I know I’m not any different than any one of them. So excuse me for not completely believing all of your smooth, honey-coated words.”

He reached up and grabbed at the hand you were using to point accusingly at him with. His warm hand enclosed your wrist and he pushed you backwards and pressed you up against the wall. He framed you in by putting his free hand on the wall next to your head.

“I don’t know why I have to tell you this but you aren’t like other girls, okay?” His voice was low, like you were the only two people left in the world and still he wanted to keep this moment a secret.

“Then what am I, Tom?” you breathed. The frustration was melting away and a gaping hole of yearning was replacing it. And you don’t know what to do with it. And that was terrifying.

“You’ve always been different, you aren’t like everyone else. You’re special,” he said. He brought his face down to the side of your face, his warm inhales and exhales now tickling your ear. “You’re mine.”

Your heart leapt up your throat as you felt his lips brush against your ear. A flutter, a mirage, a hint of a kiss. But then a small twinge. You couldn’t hold back the gasp as you felt a flash of teeth and a quick pull of your earlobe as he moved back. Heat rushed through your face and you prayed he wouldn’t be able to see how red you are in the dim lighting.

“Don’t do that.”

Tom licked his lips. It took everything within you not to press your mouth against his as you watched his tongue run over his plush lips. “Do what, darling?”

“Make me want to make out with you.” You jutted your lip out a bit in a pout. “I’m supposed to be mad at you, not madly want to kiss you.”

He grinned devilishly. “Oh yeah?” He reached out and fingered a lock of hair that had fallen loose from your ponytail bun. “Guess my Ryder charm is pulling through for me today.”

“Oh shut up.” You grabbed his head between your hands and pulled him down to your height and crushed your lips against his wet parted ones.

His eyes widened for a split second before he bent down further, deepening the kiss. He took no time in shaking off the surprise and taking control. He gently moved closer to you, pressing you firmly against the wall. His hands made their way into your hair and slowly undid the bun, his slender fingers tangling themselves in the strands. His mouth was warm, the heat of it sent tingles down to your toes. He wasn’t a desperate kisser, he kissed like there was nowhere to go, like he could always buy more time if we ever ran out. His touch was burning and excruciating but in all the right ways and you wanted more.

Your hands moved from his face and grabbed onto the open front of his shirt, anchoring yourself to him. You let your tongue push past his lips and did a quick run over his teeth. He tasted faintly of booze and citrus and jealousy. You can feel his mouth shift into a grin and he returned the favor but more forcibly, like he hasn’t eaten in days, ravenous, hungry.

You both break away for a breath. You opened your eyes and watched him as he panted. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are wild and sweat glistened on his collarbones. It’s a beautiful sight. You honestly can’t quite believe it’s you who was the cause of it.

Words are hard to draw upon, your head is more full with ecstasy than of coherent sentences. “What about the party?” you murmured.

“Screw the party.” He kissed and broke away again. “Screw the whole freaking party.” Another stolen kiss. “If it’s you versus the party, you win every time, baby.”

You bit back a grin. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

He let out a laugh, a genuine laugh. The world paused at the sound of it. It’s a deep, rough laugh, like it isn’t quite used to coming out into the world but it’s so beautiful and lucent that the clumsiness of it is all forgotten.

You can’t help but stare up at him in awe. You could probably count how many times you’ve heard that laugh. It’s almost like it’s the eighth Wonder of the World and you wanted to savor the rarity of it.

Mild amusement flickered across his face. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You’re just so beautiful, that’s all.” You tilted your chin up and flashed a sly smile. “And you’re all mine.”

His hand grabbed your chin, angling it so your lips were just brushing each other, a butterfly’s flutter of a kiss. Goosebumps swept over your body. “All yours,” he said, his voice thick and rumbly. He closed the distance, his mouth desperate to be against yours again.

A knock at the door startled both of you. You untangled yourselves from each other.

“Um, hello, is this occupied? Kinda need to go.”

Tom growled under his breath. “Aren't there any other bathrooms in this place?”

“Maybe they’ll go look for a different one?” You hold your breath. Your tongue has the lingering taste of oranges and alcohol and it’d love to get a reminder how vibrant those flavors can be.

Another knock. “Hello? Can you hurry up in there?”

Tom turned his head towards the door. “The door’s closed for a reason, man, buzz off!”

“No, no, wait, it’s okay, we can let them use it.” You gently patted his chest, trying to regain his attention before he yelled more. “It’s okay.”

He looked back at you and his anger evaporated. He tilted his head down and looked remorseful. “I’m sorry we have to cut this short.”

“Me too.” You stood on tiptoes and placed a quick peck on his bristly cheek. “But we can always pick up where we left off, ‘kay?”

He grinned, his sharp canines glinting in the dim light. “Of course, darling.”

Your heart did a little leap at that. You shoved down the urge to just ignore the rest of humanity and stay here with Tom and quickly patted yourself down. Your hair was almost completely undone and your shirt was rumbled. You let your hair out of the ponytail and straightened your clothes.

“There,” you said as you did a check in the mirror. “Presentable.” You turned to look Tom over. He was mostly fine except for the red smears that covered his face. You groaned. “Oh no, you look like you’ve been mauled by cheap lipstick. Here, let me wipe it off—“

“It’s fine,” Tom interrupted. “I don’t care.”

You stopped in the middle of grabbing paper towel. “You sure?”

His mouth curled into a crooked smile. “I had one of the best nights of my life. I should let everybody see the souvenir.”

Your cheeks warmed and you gave Tom a joking shove. “That’s so dumb.”

“I enjoyed myself immensely.”

“Stop saying things that make me want to kiss you.”

“No, you.”

An impatient series of knocks made you both jump. “You know I can hear you talking in there. Hurry up. I really gotta go.”

Tom rolled his eyes before winking at you. He grabbed the doorknob. “Ready?”

You reached for his arm and linked yours around his and nodded.

With bravado, he flung open the door and pushed past the figures waiting in the hallway. As Tom bumped shoulders with the taller of the two, you heard him mutter, “Prick.

You almost had to run to keep up with Tom as he guided you down the hall. “Tom!” you hissed. You threw a quick glance behind you and had to slap a hand over your mouth to stifle a laugh. “That was Randy and Lauren! I’ve been practically begging Lauren to make a move for weeks! And you just called him a prick!” You slapped his forearm gently. “Thanks, now they’ll have questions for me.”

You stopped at the top of the stairs, the light from below cascading its way up. “Please,” Tom said as he bent down to plant a kiss on your head, “don’t worry about it too much, darling. If they have half as good of a time as we did, I doubt they’ll remember. And he is a prick, he ruined a good thing for me.” In the faded light, you see his lower lip slipped into a pout.

You laughed and cupped his face with your hand. Seeing him get upset over this, while it’s somewhat childish, sends happy tingles down your spine. It’s somehow endearing.

“Oh Tom, I’m always willing to go for round two.”

[heyitsspiders]

Lucifer x Transmasc! Reader -Falling for the Fallen Angel - Chapter 9

Upsetting Thoughts

Lucifer is missing from your normal routine and you figure out why.

a/n: AHHHHHHH THIS WASN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE FOREVER i've just been really busy with things and also scrolling through tumblr and i didn't have the constant motivation needed to write everything quickly anyways, enjoy!

After that day the two of you began practicing everyday. You’d get up, get ready, join Lucifer in the kitchen, make breakfast and then the two of you would go to the roof and fly. Well, Lucifer would fly and you’d thrash around in the sky as graceful as a plastic bag in the wind. 

Look, flying was hard.

However, when you walked through the dining room and opened the kitchen doors you were surprised to see no one there. It was empty. No bright yellow eyes rummaging through the kitchen, no smile greeting you as you walked in. A frown tugged your corners of your mouth down. You quite enjoyed the morning routine the two of you had started. You sighed, maybe he wanted to sleep in today.

This morning you were making lemon blueberry scones, yogurt parfait and french toast. You couldn’t help but have a sadden expression on your face as you got ready, you missed having Lucifer’s arms around you as he pressed soft kisses against you. You shook your head. 

You had a job to do. As much as you loved Lucifer, breakfast wasn’t going to make itself. You’d check up on him afterwards but for now, you started with the french toast. You opened your mouth to ask Lucifer if he could grab the milk and egg needed but then closed it. 

Right.

He wasn’t here.

Your frown deepened as you continued, grabbing a loaf of bread, ground cinnamon, vanilla extract, an egg and milk. You took out the measuring utensils and began measuring out everything into its proper amounts. You couldn’t help it as your mind kept returning back to Lucifer. It reminded you a lot of the day after he kissed you, except this time you weren’t distracted by the glee and excitement of a kiss, instead it was replaced by the pure and overwhelming feeling of worry.

You were on autopilot as you set the first few bread slices dipped in the egg mixture on the skillet. You watched them cook with glazed over eyes. You were almost completely lost in your mind, anxiety eating at your insides.

If you're being honest, you don’t really remember anything about making breakfast, all of it was a blur. You faintly remember working the floured dough on the counters and scooping yogurt and fruit into clear cups. It was honestly a miracle nothing was burned. You hoped, at least. 

As you grabbed the plates of french toast and scones you realized how the plates wobbled. There wasn’t an Earthquake – or, Hellquake? – as far as you knew, why were they shaking so badly? You looked a little lower.

Oh. 

Right, of course. 

It was just your hands – how long had you been shaking this hard? You took a few deep breaths and tried to still your trembling hands. It worked, a little bit. It’d have to do for now as you continued to the dining room. You set the plates of food at the center of the table before starting your multi-trip venture of bringing all the yogurt parfait over. You placed a cup in front of each chair, as well as plates, utensils and napkins.

You sighed as the table was set, everything in its rightful place. Alright, time to get everyone in here. Your shaky hands tugged open the dining room doors and called out.

“Breakfast’s done!” You shouted. You usually said it in a more sing-songy tone but you weren’t feeling it today.

You were quiet as you leaned against the wall, silently observing the other residents sit down and chatter amongst each other in between bites of the food in front of them. Luckily, no one complained about the food tasting bad or being under/over cooked. So at least you had that going for you. 

It took everything in you to not run up all the stairs in the hotel and burst into Lucifer’s room, but it’d be rude to leave. Plus, what if it really was just as simple as him wanting to sleep in and you rush in and wake him up? What if he gets mad at you?

That thought made you swallow hard. Maybe you should leave him alone? You weren’t sure. He was the King of Hell, he could handle himself – however he was also your lover, boyfriend if you will. Surely he’ll understand if you go check on him.

Though, he never really opened up to you. Occasionally you’d catch him lost in his thoughts with a sad look in his eyes and when you ask him about it he’d just smile and tell you it's nothing. You never pushed him for more information, he’d tell you when he felt comfortable, but it didn’t stop the anxiety from growing inside you. 

One time after Lucifer had looked particularly upset you had caved and asked Charlie if she knew what might be up. However she didn’t know, confirming he didn’t open up in general. The look on her pale face showed she also had a deep concern for her father and you had the feeling she had tried to get him to open up to her multiple times – and as far as you knew that only worked on the first day he was at the hotel. You thanked her anyway and told her you’d figure it out and she relaxed a little bit at the idea of someone helping her dad. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts by someone talking to you, “Hey, bat boy.”

You turned your head to the voice, your eyes settling on Angel Dust, who had a lemon blueberry scone in one of his many hands, “Yeah?”

“You good? You look like you’re really thinkin’,'' a smirk spread across his lips. “You thinkin’ about fu-”

Your face brightened and you shook your hands back and forth as if to wave away his words, “No- nope, no- stop that sentence right there.”

Angel raised an eyebrow, his smile widening. “What? I was just going to ask an innocent question!”

You gave him a look, “Yeah, okay.” 

Charlie coughed awkwardly, a nervous smile on her face, “Uhm, anyways. Angel has a point.”

“What?” Your head sharply turned to her, a look of confusion and surprise written clearly on your face.

Her eyes widened and she put up her hands, “Not like that! I just meant that you’ve seemed really sucked into your mind.” She explained frantically.

Angel laughed after swallowing another bite of a scone, “I don't know, I think I was pretty spot on!”

You glared at him before you sighed, shoulder slumping, “Just been thinking is all-” Angel opened his mouth “- about where Lucifer is.” You said the last part through gritted teeth as you stared at the spider demon. His mouth closed with a frown.

Charlie looked at you with a reassuring smile, “Ah, he’s probably sleeping in. He was helping me with a few things last night.”

You sighed with relief. Maybe you were overthinking this and just needed to let the poor king rest. You nodded to yourself. Yeah, maybe he just wanted some time to himself. You’d check up on him before dinner instead. 

The rest of breakfast went by smoothly and once everyone had walked out the doors you reached for the empty, dirty plates that littered the table. You made a neat stack of plates, setting the various empty cups on top and the used utensils inside of those. You held the unstable tower with both hands and walked backwards into the kitchen doors, using your back to push them open. You squeezed through the crack you had created before heaving the heavy stack onto the counter next to the sink.

You began to mindless clean the numerous dishes as you missed how easily this task was usually whisked away by Lucifer. Everything reminded you of him, including the warmth of the water that lapped at your hands as you scrubbed the dishes that made you wish that it was instead Lucifer holding you. His warmth was addicting, in both his body heat and the way he talked as if he was a drug that you could never get enough of. You used your wrists to rub your eyes as your hands were currently soaking wet and you didn’t feel like wiping them dry. You could feel your fingertips become wrinkly underwater and grimaced. Not your favorite feeling.

There was still a sinking hole in your stomach as you finished up, setting the last cup in the cupboard and closing the door. Your wings flexed and folded repeatedly in a self-soothing manner as you lazily pulled the kitchen then dining room doors open, slipping out and into the hallway. You retreated back into your thoughts as you mindlessly walked to the lobby. You weren’t sure why, maybe the lack of company was getting to you.

You sat at one of the bar stools, resting your elbows on the counter and your head on your hands. Husk raised a red eyebrow with a slightly less bored expression. You asked for the drink that had quickly become your favorite; apple juice. What could you say? It reminded you of the demon king and right now you needed it. You were missing his company and you needed the sweet taste of the juice to soothe you. Husk made a noise that was a mix between a cough and a laugh as he grabbed a bottle from behind him and poured you a glass of translucent yellow beverage.

You grasped the drink, your fingers sliding against the cool glass and pulled it to your lips and took small sips. You wanted to savor it, let the taste fully settle on your tongue before swallowing and repeating the process. It was cold as it went down your throat, leaving the taste of apples in its wake. 

Once you finished it you wiped your mouth of any drops that fell on your lips and down your chin. You sighed and moved the glass closer to Husk before pushing yourself up and away from the empty bar and the feline demon. 

You checked the time. It wasn’t really that close to dinner but you really couldn’t wait any longer. You mentally hoped to yourself that he wouldn’t be pissed at you. Each step you took made your stomach drop further and further, your throat feeling like a desert as you finally reached the top. Your hands were restless as you fiddled with them, walking unsteadily down the empty hallway to that damned door with an apple on it. 

You swallowed hard on nothing as you softly rapped on the door. Your ears were perked, listening intensely for any sound that came from beyond your vision. You heard the shuffling of some sheets and… Sniffling? Your heart dropped. Was he okay?

“Honey.. It’s me, can-... can I come in?” You asked softly before waiting quietly for an answer.

There was an affirmative groan and you gripped the doorknob, twisting it and gently pushing the door open. Your eyes widened at the sight. The room was a mess – to say the least. There were various rubber ducks all over the floor as well as a few tools from his workbench. The room was dark and you squinted as your eyes readjusted and saw your love in a nest of blankets and pillow. His normally bright yellow eyes were dull, barely letting off any light as a tired and sad expression ruled his face. Lucifer’s six usually gorgeous wings – which were a mess as his wings desperately needed to be preened – hugged his small frame on the bed. 

He didn’t look up at you, instead opting to continue absently gazing at a duck plush he held in his clawed hands. You carefully walked over and around the ducks and tools as if any sudden movement would startle him and send him running to a place you couldn’t reach him. When you got close enough you reached out a hand before returning it to your side as Lucifer’s wings puffed up.

You sat on his lavish bed a few feet away to give him space. The room was quiet other than the sniffling that Lucifer tried to stifle as he wiped away any tears that remained from previous sobbing. Faint light illuminated the room and you could see the usually neat and presteen king was now in tatters. His golden blonde hair was a mess of tangles and loose strands and his cheeks gleaned in the light – not to mention his puffy and red eyes. You did your best to fight the urge to cuddle and console him to give him enough space. 

“What’s wrong?” You spoke barely above a whisper as you observed his face for any details.

You swore you could see his lip quiver for a moment before he took a deep breath in and out before stupidly trying to feign a smile, “Nothing, dear.”

“Lucifer, darling, I mean this in the nicest way possible – I’m not stupid.” You said in a teasing, playful tone. “You have clearly been crying.”

You dared to move closer and when he didn’t react negatively you continued, “I’m here for you, Luci. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

You were within reach and carefully rested a hand on Lucifer’s back. His body stiffened before relaxing against your touch. He sighed, closing his eyes.

“I… I’m just- Ugh,” He groaned, throwing his head into the plush in his hands, his words were now muffled, “This is stupid. I’m the King of Hell! I shouldn’t need to talk about my feelings.”

“Darling, even the most powerful people – or demons – need a support group. Let me be that for you and share what is plaguing your mind,” You said with a soft smile despite him not looking at you.

He groaned again before lifting his head, “I’m worried and quite honestly scared.”

Your eyes widened. Him? Scared? “About what?” You began rubbing his back comfortingly.

Lucifer squeezed his eyes shut, gripping the duck tighter, “That-” he swallowed, “that you’ll leave me too.”

You opened your mouth to protest but he continued, “That you’ll realize I’m not really ‘all that’. I can’t even teach you how to fly!” He curled further into himself and whispered, “Lilith left me, why wouldn’t you?”

You couldn’t stop yourself as you embraced Lucifer, your arms wrapping around his curled frame and wings, “Oh Luci- I’m never going anywhere.” 

“I’m going to be here until my soul is erased from this universe, until I’m forcefully taken away, until I physically can’t anymore. I love you so much and I want to be by your side as long as you allow me to,” You held him tightly against yourself. 

Lucifer was still as he processed your words, he looked up at you, his eyes glowing a bit brighter than they had been before. Tears were welling in his eyes again.

“Do-.. Do you actually mean that?” He asked hesitantly as if he didn’t actually wanna know the answer.

A sincere and warm smile spread across your face as you looked at him with soft eyes, “Of course, my dear.” You pressed a soft kiss on his forehead.

His lip quivered once more before he returned your embrace, his body shaking. He buried his face in your neck, the warmth of tears flowing down you as Lucifer’s body shook.

“I- I’m –– I’m so lucky to- to have you,” He gasped in between choked sobs. 

You held him tighter, your hands running gently up and down his back, “I’m very lucky to have you too. You mean so much to me. Lilith has no idea how much she messed up by leaving you.”

Logically you knew Lilith would kick your ass but God you wanted to beat the shit out of her. How could she just leave him like this? Not to mention their only child too. It’s one thing to leave a partner but your child too? The idea of her made you grit your teeth but you forced yourself to calm down. Now was not the time for anger. 

Lucifer sobbed into your shirt as you held him. Eventually, his crying died down and he caught his breath. You could feel as he swallowed and shifted in your hold.

“I’m sorry for- uhm, that.” He said as he tried to wiggle out of your grasp.

“Don’t apologize, you needed that, I could tell. Not to mention, talking to people is good for you.” You looked at him, he looked both worse and better than before.

It took him a minute to respond but he eventually whispered, “Thank you.”

You planted another kiss on his head, “It’s no problem, I’ll always be right here for you.”

You looked at his wings and frowned. “You should really take better care of your wings.”

Lucifer snorted, his wings flexing slightly, “Yeah yeah, maybe I could teach you how to preen so you could do it for me.” He said it smoothly but you knew there was the added layer of intimacy that act held. 

“I’d be delighted.”

[stillsaltyaboutmcr]

I will always be here for you-J.S

find parts 1-4 here

Warnings: Cussing, pregnancy, childbirth, rooster being sweet, jake being domestic af as usual, one big happy family, a plot twist oooo

this may or may not be the final chapter of this mini series. i haven’t decided how i wanna end this so i might make this the finale or i may continue. who knows?

Taglist: @emma8895eb @archetypesoflife @sarahjoestewy-blog @gizmodear @topguncultleader

sorry if i missed anyone!!

enjoy! it’s a longer one!

After finding out the gender of the baby, you and Jake had finally decided on a nursery theme. It was pink and tan with floral paintings on the walls. It was beautiful and made you almost emotional. You couldn’t believe you were now a week away from your due date and you had made it this far. Looking at the final product you called the baby’s room, Jake hugged you from behind, rubbing his hands on your very large belly. “It really is perfect isn’t it?”

You sighed, “It really is. Now all we gotta do is come up with a name.” Even though that was the only thing left on your to do list besides give birth, you had a lot more on your mind.

Since the baby shower, Rooster has been slowly showing a more sympathetic side of himself. While he hasn’t blatantly apologized, he has been doing small things to almost do it without the words ‘i’m sorry’.

You were just passed your 6 month mark sitting and waiting for Jake to get off work. You didn’t live far from where he was working at the time with the Dagger Squad, so you would walk there on Friday’s to see him come out all hot and sweaty.

It would be a miracle if you made it through the allotted time your doctor gave you after birth to not have sex. That man was asking for baby #2.

Bradley had come out first while you were waiting for Jake. He had seen you and changed the course of his path to come talk to you. “How’s the little girl doing?” He kept his arms at his side, as if afraid to touch you or move wrong and scare you off.

“She’s good, been kicking me a lot though.” You tried to muster out a laugh but you couldn’t. You couldn’t forgive Brad yet for what he did to you when you told him. You knew he was trying to make it up to you, but you couldn’t help but feel like he had an ulterior motive to his kindness.

“I wonder who she gets that from- I’m sorry.”

He looked to the ground. “It’s okay, but probably me.” He laughed and that was the first time you’d heard him laugh since your fling. It made you crack a smile and when he saw, his whole demeanor changed.

“There’s that beautiful smile. I miss seeing that.” You froze. What were you supposed to say to that? “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that. You do have a beautiful smile though. I hope she has your smile too.” Again, what were you supposed to respond with?? “I’ll just leave, I have to take Bob home anyways. You look amazing, you’re glowing. Everyone here sees it. Ask around.” You smiled and thanked him and off he went to his Bronco.

That Bronco. It’s seen things.

Again, when you were 7 and a half months along, you were in the commissary getting some stuff for the house when you had ran into Bradley. He took notice of the large size difference of your bump since your 6 month mark. “I don’t mean this to sound rude, but she’s getting big.” He let out a breathy laugh.

You couldn’t help but return the laughter. “Yeah, I’m really hoping she doesn’t destroy me. She’s getting heavy and she’s not even born yet.” That caused Bradley to smile.

“Have you and Jake picked out a name?” You looked up at Bradley.

“Uh- we. No, not yet.” You swallowed hard. Something had Bradley’s mind turning, and you could see it all over his expression. “Brad?” He looked up. “Do you wanna feel her kick?” His eyes lit up but he was hesitant to reach out.

“Are you sure? I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I’m sorry if I’ve been too much, I just feel-“ You interrupted him before he could embarrass himself and took his hand and placed it on your belly. Almost immediately as if your little girl knew who was there, she kicked- and HARD.

You let out a grunt and gripped your stomach and bent over a bit, reaching for your cart. “Are you okay?!” Bradley immediately went to your aid. One hand was on the cart to keep it steady, the other on your right shoulder. He was studying your expression, looking for any signs of relief or pain. You took a deep breath and made yourself upright letting out a chuckle. Bradley was still on you, looking for any confirmation that you were truly okay.

“I’m okay, she’s just never kicked me that hard. Knocked the wind out of me.” You looked up and noticed how close he was to you. You watched his eyes drift down to your lips and you felt a surge of nausea swirl in your stomach. You cleared your throat and he immediately gave you space.

“I’m so sorry.” He swallowed hard, face turning red.

“It’s okay. I gotta get going though before my frozens melt.” You gave him one last smile before heading down the isle to the checkout.

The time that really stood out to you though was just 2 weeks ago. You were at the doctor getting your checkup to see how your baby was doing and moving. You were in the waiting room when Bradley walked in carrying a sickly looking Javy on his shoulder. He talked to the nurse before she took him back, leaving you and Brad alone in the waiting room. He took notice of you and asked to sit down next to you.

“Javy came into work looking awful and refused to go home. I finally convinced him to come in when he threw up and the puke was green. I think he has food poisoning.” He let out a laugh at the expense of his friend.

“I’m just here to check up on our girl here.”

“Our?” Your eyes went wide as you caught your slip up.

“I mean technically-“

You started to correct yourself but he quickly fixed it for you. “You and Jake are going to be amazing parents. You guys are going to have a beautiful baby girl.” You suddenly felt a pang of guilt at his words.

“Brad.” You took his hand. “I know you aren’t active in the pregnancy and you didn’t want this baby to begin with, but it is OUR baby. You and me. We made this.” He looked at you and started tearing up.

“I’m so sorry. I panicked. I wasn’t ready and I didn’t know what to do. Then I saw how happy you were that you were pregnant and I realized that was what I wanted. I may not want to be a dad yet, but the way your as radiant as ever with that beautiful belly made me realize one thing. I want you to be happy, and if this makes you happy then I’m okay.” He took a ragged breath, “I know you and Jake are happy and that we take over that father role, and I’m okay with that. I’ll happily watch on the sidelines if that means I get to see you smile.”

You didn’t know what to say. Should you forgive him? Should you call his bluff and remind him of what he said to you? The way he made you feel?

“Brad-“

“Don’t say anything, I don’t ever expect you to forgive me.”

“But I do.” He looked at you with wide teary eyes. You nodded to confirm what you had just said.

“Thank you…please don’t feel obligated to make me a part of the baby’s life. It never has to know if you don’t want it to.”

“Can we try to be friends Brad?” He smiled and nodded.

“I’d like that. I can be Uncle Brad if you-“

“No. I think when she’s old enough, she should know. I’ll have to talk to Jake but, I think he’ll understand.”

Bradley froze in his spot. “I- really- please. Don’t feel like you need to do that just because I apologized.”

“I’ve been thinking it over since the baby shower Brad. I saw the way you looked when we discovered it was a girl. It broke my heart that you aren’t able to connect with something you helped create. This baby is equal parts of you and me, so shouldn’t it know both of its parents?” Bradley still hadn’t moved. “Brad, I’m serious. I asked myself, ‘if I was raised never knowing my dad and being told my stepdad was my real dad, how would I feel?’. The answer? I’d feel betrayed. I don’t want our child to feel that way.”

“Thank you.” It was barely above a whisper, and his voice sounded broken even at such a low volume. Before he could say another word, the doctor came out and called your name. You said your goodbye and waved and you hadn’t seen him since.

You hadn’t yet brought it to Jake and you didn’t bother texting Bradley as you didn’t have a solution yet. Gazing upon the room soon to be full of laughter and diaper changes, you knew in your heart it was the right thing to do. Even if Brad wasn’t always around, he deserved to at the very least meet her.

“Hey babe.” You turned around in Jake’s arms to face him. He looked at you with such admiration, it made it hard for you to say what you wanted to. You didn’t want to hurt Jake.

“What’s up?”

“I’ve been thinking about Bradley.” Jake’s face became one of confusion. “He is her dad and I’ve told you about how he’s been lately. I think he’s sincere and I think he deserves to at least meet her. If I grew up being told my dad was someone else and never knew my real dad I’d feel hurt. I don’t want baby girl to be hurt.” Jake sighed and nodded.

“I understand but I don’t know. How do we know he’s not just doing this to try to kick me out and weasel back in? What if he just wants to claim you and the baby for housing allowance? Time off?” Jake had a point, but you would never leave Jake. He’s done so much for you and always a drop of a hat.

“You know I would never leave you right? After everything you’ve done for me I’d have to be an idiot to walk away. Look at the life you’ve made for us. A cute adorable house, my comfortability during my pregnancy, and now a nursery for baby girl. You’ve given me safety and stability and pure happiness, Jake. I’d be a fool to leave you.” Jake smiled and planted a kiss on your forehead, staying there for a moment and took a deep breath.

“Can I sleep on it?”

“Of course. She’s not due for another week anyways.” You both grabbed the others hand and went downstairs to finish off your Sunday evening.

Monday morning came and as you woke up, you had peed yourself. “Shit.” It smelled and you were lucky Jake had already gone to work. You quickly got up to clean yourself before heading back to get the sheets washed when you nearly collapsed from unimaginable pain in your abdomen. “No, no, no, no, no. Not now!! You’re too early!! Fuck!!” You searched for your phone in a panic when the pain wouldn’t go away. You yelled out in pain and quickly dialed the first number you could get your hands on in your emergency contact list. The ringing hit your ears and you didn’t even wait for a voice as soon as you heard the line connect.

“My water broke! I’m going into labor!”

“Oh my god!! Shit!!” You recognized Natasha’s voice anywhere. “Oh my god!! Someone find Jake NOW!” Her voice was commanding as voices chattered on the other side. You groaned out in pain again before it subsided and you felt like you were going to pass out. “How far apart are your contractions?”

“I don’t know, I woke up and thought I peed but then I got this bad pain and it just now went away.”

“Shit shit- where is he?! Stay calm, grab onto something we’re getting you help-“ Another wave came on and you yelled out, nearly screaming. “Oh my god you’re not far apart. FIND HIM!!” Voices filled your ears, and you picked out Bob’s panic.

“I haven’t seen him all day! Coyote went to find him. Where’s Maverick?! He’ll know what to do!” You tried to giggle at Bob’s adorable voice. He was always cute when he was nervous, like a kid who had been caught eating halloween candy when he wasn’t supposed to.

You yelled out in pain again and Natasha’s words became faded. You heard her yelling and screaming at people before finally you heard ‘just give me the phone please’ followed by a calming voice.

“Hey, just breathe. They found Jake, he’s on his way to get you. You got this. Stay calm and focus on your breathing. Breathe with me.”

You knew it to be the one and only Bradley Bradshaw.

You yelled out again, the pain still not subsiding. You had no clue how long it had been since your water broke in your sleep, so you had no idea how long your body had technically been in labor. “Breathe in for four,” you took a breath in, listening to his voice. “One, two, three, four. Now hold it for four-“ He calmly and slowly counted you through each breath, a nice change of pace from Natasha’s yelling and you felt your body relax with each number. It felt like time slowed down as he spoke to you and you felt peace amongst the contractions. “You got it, keep breathing okay? Jake should be there any minute now. I’m sure he’s speeding like the devil to get to you. You’re gonna be okay. You’re so strong, you can handle this no problem.” He kept giving you encouragement as you felt another wave of pain. You gritted your teeth as you yelled, this one worse than the last. You felt your vocal chords ripping at the intensity of your scream, you didn’t even hear the door slam open downstairs.

“Hey, you’re okay! Breathe Y/N!! Breathe! Remember in for 4, come on do it with me!” Bradley’s voice distracted you from Jake’s yelling until you physically felt Jake around you. He was sweating, and he looked so afraid, you must’ve looked horrible to cause him such fright. “You got her?”

“Yeah I got her, thanks Rooster. Tell Maverick I won’t be back today.” He hung up the phone and grabbed the hospital bag and quickly scooped you up, practically running to the car.

You blinked and you were in a hospital bed with an epidural. The nurses and doctor were all in the room, Jake at your side gripping your hand and giving you little bits of motivation. In all honesty, he was more of a wreck than you were, you thought he might pass out.

Even with the medicine, you’d been in extreme pain, causing you to become dizzy and weak. You’d been at this for nearly 5 hours now and you were only 3 cm dilated. They gave you all they could to speed it up, and the doctor even said he’d suspected you’d been in labor for nearly 15 hours now including the morning.

“The head isn’t in position! If this baby drops, it’s gonna wrap the chord on its ne-“ Before you could comprehend what the nurse was saying, you felt a shot of pain and the heart monitor went out. All the staff jumped to remove you from your stand and get you to an emergency C-section. You started to freak out, you couldn’t lose your baby, and you didn’t want to die either. You were so scared and just when you needed Jake the most, he was told to wait outside.

The last thing you remember is the doctor telling you it’s gonna be okay before you blacked out from pain.

When you woke up, it was the next morning from the time on your clock on the wall. The TV was playing some cooking show really quietly and you felt incredibly weak. You could barely muster a breath, let alone move your head. You felt a hand on yours and you slowly tried to turn your head. To your left, Jake was in a chair, a blanket and pillow accompanying him. His eyes were red and puffy, and you assumed the worse. “I’m so happy you’re awake.” He leaned in to give you a soft and gentle kiss, which you reciprocated.

“What happened?”

He took in a shaky breath. “She wasn’t head down, and she caught herself in her umbilical chord and flatlined, when they got you back there you went with her. I was so scared that I would lose you both. After hours, they finally brought you back in here to me. You were fast asleep and so pale I thought you were dead. When they hooked you back up and I saw your heartbeat, I broke. You are so amazing, you know that? You are so strong and I love you so much.”

“But…what about? Baby girl? Did she-“ You were starting to breathe quickly and Jake was a blubbering mess. You assumed she didn’t make it due to your state of health. He went to speak when another voice appeared followed by a face to match.

“She’s beautiful. She looks just like you.” You followed to see Bradley. Your eyes widened.

“I didn’t know what to do, they wouldn’t tell me anything, so I called him. He helped me through it all. They wouldn’t even let me see her.” Jake leaned down to cry into your hand. You hadn’t even thought about that. Jake wasn’t your husband nor was he your child’s father. Of course they would only tell Bradley the information as the proven biological father.

“I took Jake up there to see her through the window. But only I was allowed to hold her after your surgery.”

“You were in there?”

“I came running as soon as I saw his name light up on my phone. I knew something was wrong. When I got here and they figured out who I was, they scrubbed me up and shoved me into the room to keep an eye on you if you were to wake up. They wanted you to have a familiar face there so you wouldn’t panic, but they only allowed the mother’s parents or the father of the child in.” You couldn’t believe he showed up.

You couldn’t believe Jake went to him.

“They pulled her out and I heard her cry-“ he choked back his tears. “It was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard. They cleaned her off and handed her to me, to get skin to skin while they stitched you up. She’s stunning Y/N. I’m so proud of you.”

“What happened to me in there Brad?”

“It was horrible.” Jake spoke up now. “The nurse came out and told me Brad gave the responsibility to me to decide whether or not I wanted them to try and save you. Bradley gave me the choice. I couldn’t handle it.”

You looked to Bradley. “When she finally was born and they took her away ti be cleaned, all your monitors started going off. You were losing too much blood too quickly. They asked me the question and I couldn’t do it. Jake is your partner, so I thought it best for him to be the one to decide since he took the responsibility when I decided to leave you in the dust. Watching you bleed out on that table killed me. You became pale, your under eyes turning yellow. I thought you were gone.”

“But I’m not.”

“I donated blood for you.” Jake looked at you, attempting to pull himself together. “They wanted Bradley too but I was the only match for your blood type out of us two. So they took a ton of blood so you could be okay.” You tugged on Jake’s hand to give him a kiss. You wanted to cry.

“Thank you Jake. I don’t know where I’d be without you. I love you.”

“Don’t thank just me. As much as I hate to admit when I’m wrong, Bradley has changed. I remember wanting to get him sent on different orders for months. I wanted to tear him from the sky on every training exercise. Now, I owe him everything for what he’s done today.” Jake looked at Brad and extended a hand for him to shake.

“Bradley.” He turned to you and sat on the bed by your feet. You reached out with your other hand and grabbed his, Jake helping you sit up. “Thank you. I knew something had sparked in you the moment I saw you at the gender reveal. You’ve changed so much since I told you about our girl. I couldn’t have done this without you.”

“I wasn’t even there.”

“But you were when it mattered. You talked me through my contractions on the phone. The peace I felt when you calmly spoke to me was such a relief. You ran a snap of a finger when Jake called for you. You two hate each other!” All three of you laughed. “Both of you, I really am so greatly for you two. I couldn’t have done it without you. And Brad, I’m so glad to got to see her, hold her. I’m really happy you were there with me when Jake couldn’t be.”

Just then a nurse walked in. “Ah! Moms awake! How are we feeling mom?”

The nurse checked all your vitals and checked on your scar to make sure everything was normal. She said the weakness is nothing to worry about and that it will go away with time.

“Do you want to see her?” You nodded as she stepped out and returned in a bit with a clear bassinet. A swaddle of pink blankets lay in it. The nurse took her out and placed her in your arms, pulling your gown down for skin to skin.

“I’ll leave you be to soak it all in and have some privacy. I’ll come check on you in awhile. Congratulations.”

As she stepped out, you burst into tears. “Did you pick out a name?” You turned to Jake. “Either of you?”

“I did.” Jake spoke up. “It’s not official yet in case you hated it. Bradley doesn’t even know her name yet.”

“You have a name?” Bradley spoke up, clearly as clueless as you.

“I did. Her name will be Caroline Mae Bradshaw.” You and Bradley both shot shocked faces his way. “Caroline after your mother, Carol.” He gestured to Bradley. “Mae after your mother, Mary Mae.” He gestured to you. “I feel it only appropriate for her to take her father’s name. I don’t feel right giving her mine. So, she’s a Bradshaw.”

“Jake. You don’t have to-“

“I want to Bradley. She’s yours. I love Y/N and this beautiful baby girl with my entire being, but I did nothing to make her existence. It doesn’t matter if her creation was an accident. You still played a huge part without even knowing it and after all you’ve done for Y/N over the last few months, I think it’s only fitting.” You broke out into sobs. You were overcome with so much love and emotion you couldn’t handle it. Watching the two men in your life connect right in front of your eyes, getting something you never thought you would. You looked at Jake.

“Do you wanna hold Caroline then?” Jake nodded as he carefully took her from your arms.

“She really is beautiful, but I think you don’t give yourself enough credit Brad, look at her again.” Jake sat down next to you as Brad took the chair at the bedside. You all took a good look at her as she slowly began to open her eyes.

She may have had some of your defining features like the shape of your lips or the point of your nose, but her dark head of hair and beautiful deep brown eyes were all Bradley. She was a beautiful mix. She looked up at Jake with wide eyes, studying his face. “Hi prettt girl, I’m your stepdad. This is your mom,” he tilted her up a little so you could wave a coo at her, “and this is your dad.” He looked at Bradley, handed her over so he could hold Caroline.

“Hey peanut. It’s dad.” She let out a couple excited breaths at the sound of his voice and it caused you to laugh. “I think she likes me.”

“She better.” You chimed in.

You leaned your head against Jake as he wrapped his arms around you. “Why don’t you get some more rest okay? I think we got this. You need to gain your strength back so we can take you gorgeous girls home.”

You muttered out a small ‘okay’ as Jake adjusted you to wear he could hold you while you slept. “You take care of mom, I’ll take care of the little one.”

“Deal.” Bradley got up to go rock Caroline while Jake brushed through your hair with his fingers and quietly talked to you while you drifted off to sleep.

To an onlooker, it was a beautiful view. Bradley rocking his brand new baby girl, cooing at her and talking to her. You fast asleep after the accomplishment you made today and the hardship your body went through. Jake right there by your side, propped up on an elbow, fingers brushing your hair while he hummed softly to get you to rest.

Despite the differences between the three, they came together to make a beautiful family. A happy trio for one pretty special kid.

(a year and a half later)

You were hosting your first get together for the dagger squad since you gave birth. You and Jake agreed to give it a year for your recovery since you took your time regaining your strength. Bradley was often over to take care of Caroline so Jake could focus on you. You were sick for months after giving birth. In and out of the hospital for the first 4 months of Caroline’s life. Once you got better, you and Jake got a marriage license and you officially became Mrs. Seresin. You enjoyed the first couple months of your marriage in private while Bradley took over Caroline. So after a year, you were well and back to your normal self. But, Jake wanted to give it a few more months just to be safe, so here you are with an 18 months old and a new last name.

You had Caroline in a wrap against your chest while Jake was in the kitchen cooking. Bradley was setting up in the living room with Natasha and Bob. You had just gotten Caroline dressed and headed down the stairs as everyone started to arrive. You greeted everyone and Caroline babbled to a few of the pilots. She was quite fond of her Uncle Bob.

Everytime Bob was over Caroline just clung to him. If Bob set her down or stopped giving her attention, she started to whine. It was cute but poor Bob couldn’t catch a break. So today, she was glued to your chest.

You walked into the kitchen as Jake began plating the food. “Are you nervous?” He asked when he. priced you coke in.

“A little bit, but I think it’s all going to turn out.” He set the last plate down before grabbing your hand.

“Are you ready?”

“Yes.”

You both walked into the living room where everyone was started to get drinks and catch up. “Lunch is ready but first we have something to announce.”

As Jake was talking you reached into your back pocket and pulled out a little white stick with a plus sign on it. You shouted, “We’re pregnant! Baby Seresin due i. 8 months!” You we’re already a month along, but decided to wait until everyone was together to announce it.

The room burst into hoops, hollers, cheers and congratulations. You looked to Jake as he kissed you.

“Don’t call me in a panic this time, because I won’t be able to to shit.” Bradley quipped as you all began laughing.

“Shit!” You all fell silent as Caroline said her first word.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” You pinched the bridge of your nose as the laughter fired up again. With a little Bradshaw and a Seresin on the way, you were going to have your hands full.

[juyeonszn]

AND THEN THERE IS YOU

PAIRING ju haknyeon x f!reader (gn technically since there are no gendered terms)

WORD COUNT 1.17k

GENRES fluff ﹒very slight angst like blink and u miss it

WARNINGS another fic of mine that doesn’t require an 18+ warning… fawn in her tamed era 🙏, ur heart will ache from how </3 this is, mentions of divorce, reader had kind of a shitty childhood, reader also has some intimacy issues, hak is the most patient and kind person ever, throws up everywhere bc me when </3

SUMMARY he was content loving you until you were ready to love him.

MORE ANDDDDD my insanity strikes again!!!!1!1!1! aka in my dr. seuss william shakespeare edgar allan poe steven king arc 😍 my inspiration has been crazy lately, so enjoy this before juyeonszn goes into a drought deeper into the semester 😭 ANYWAYS MAE (@maessseongs) HERE U GO!! i kept it fluffier and kinda short bc it just felt right, i hope that’s okay with u! this is the last request from my 100 followers event so far ✨ prompts used are: 2, 7 >:)

PERM TAGLIST @winterchimez @maessseongs

Relationships were a weird concept to you. Growing up, you’d never really been shown affection. Your parents weren’t the type to pack your lunch for school in the morning and send you off with a peck on the cheek followed by an ‘I Love You’.

In fact, they never told you that they loved you very often. Maybe a handful of times in your whole life did you hear those three words uttered from them. And even less did you hear that they were proud of you. It was worse when you took a step back and watched their own crumbling marriage.

As long as they’d been together, you never heard them tell the other how much they were appreciated. They fought more than they got along. You usually fell asleep to the sound of doors slamming and loud arguing in the hallway. When they finally decided to get a divorce, you almost cried out of joy. They were draining more out of you than each other.

So, perhaps that had to do with your fucked up view of relationships as you became an adult. You could never fully comprehend what love was since you didn’t exactly have stellar role models. Boyfriends came and went, losing interest as soon as they realized how disconnected you were. Your heart was never truly in it.

And then, you met Haknyeon.

Sweet sweet Haknyeon, who only cared about your happiness and your well being. Haknyeon, who didn’t ask you for more than you could give. Who didn’t push you for answers when you shut him out. Who patiently waited on the sidelines while you rebooted yourself.

If there were a higher being out in the universe, they’d done an excellent job at putting all the best qualities into Ju Haknyeon. By some miracle or a stroke of luck, he found his way to you. You’ll always think that he deserves better than you, but you’ll also always be eternally grateful that you have him.

As summer takes its last breath and the air begins to chill, leaves wilting to the streets and crunching below the feet of passersby, your motivation to get up in the mornings has started its tumultuous decline. You don’t know what it is about the change in seasons that continues to put a damper in your mood as the years go on, but it’s become almost too much to bear. It was no longer a dull pressure in the pit of your stomach and the back of your mind. Now it was a heaviness that settled in your heart and weighed you down.

It was a Thursday evening and you were tucked into bed already, despite a peek of the sun still visible over the horizon. Your head was pounding despite the room being silent. You curl into yourself further just as your bedroom door creaks open. Haknyeon whispers an apology, going to exit the room when he sees the state you’re in.

It was standard for him to leave you alone until you were ready to talk. He knew you had a hard time opening up, considering what you’d grown up with, and he didn’t want to be the person who pestered you to tell him what was wrong. He wanted you to feel comfortable coming to him first. Haknyeon couldn’t handle being the reason you were pushed to your breaking point.

But for some reason, this time is different. You don’t want to be left alone. You want to be held. You want him to kiss your forehead and tell you he loves you, unlike what you had when you were younger.

“Hak, wait,” you call, voice slightly hoarse. “Stay. Please.”

He’s taken aback by your request, but doesn’t hesitate to follow through. He climbs into the bed behind you, wrapping his arms around your center. In spite of the fact that this wasn’t a usual occurrence, that cuddling was something you’ve only done a couple other times, he embraces you as if this was second nature for him. As if holding you in his arms was his very life source.

“Are you sure?” He asks softly, words spoken gently into your hair.

“Mhm, I want this,” you nod, nuzzling into his arm. “I have never felt this safe with anyone before.”

Haknyeon’s breathing stutters. You’ve never admitted this to him before, you’ve never ever said ‘I Love You’, but he’s always been willing to wait. He understood that this was a new territory for you. He was content loving you until you were ready to love him, even if it took months— even if it took years. That’s how much he cared for you. In his eyes, you were the reason there were stars in the sky. You were the reason why the sun rose in the morning and why the moon shone at night.

He kisses your temple. “I’ll be here to protect you.”

You turn in his arms to get a good look at his face. Because it was so rare that you were this close, you wanted to memorize his features from this distance. You trace his cheekbones and jawline with your thumb, eyes flickering down to his lips.

You lean forward, minimizing the gap between you to press your lips into a sweet kiss, almost as sweet as him. Haknyeon gasps out of surprise, but quickly reciprocates your affection, bringing up a hand to cup your face. He allows you to set the pace, to move at a speed you were comfortable with in case this was all you wanted.

When you pull back to catch your breath, he smiles, taking in how pretty you were. He could never get enough of you. He thinks that was his biggest flaw, being so greedy when it came to you. He couldn’t help but indulge himself every time you let him, though if it were a sin, he’d gladly commit it over and over again.

“However many years we have left, I wanna spend them all with you.”

You feel the tears dripping down your cheeks before you register that you’re crying. You couldn’t possibly fathom how Haknyeon came to find love in the form of you; the hollow shell of a person who’s never felt the warmth of another human in their life. You didn’t think you deserved someone like him. The only logical explanation was that you were a saint in a past life, and the higher being you mentioned earlier was rewarding you for it.

But even so, he loved you. Enough that he wasn’t afraid to spend the rest of his life with you waking up on the other side of the bed.

He swipes away some stray tears with the pad of his thumb and kisses your nose. You let out a small laugh, connecting your lips once more. It conveys all you want to say, but you know saying it out loud will make it concrete. It’ll solidify what you’ve been building up the courage to finally tell him.

“I wanna spend them all with you, too.”

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[fanficapologist]

So I went back to the previous chapters because I wanted more of an idea of when Aemond slept with Alys. And I thought it was earlier haha silly me, for some reason, I thought he had done it when he was still inquiring about Penrose. 😅😬

Anyway, I thought I would be more annoyed at Aemond for enjoying it but it all it did was bring me back to his first time at the brothel. And it made me feel bad for him but at the same time, I mean, his desperation brought him there 😬 Alys knew that at this point, Aemond would probably crawl on his belly if she told him he could get Maera this way. Poor guy really was in deep and he’s also trusted Alys enough not to be suspicious of her motives.

"I can have no more children. My last birth damaged my womb, nothing can grow there."

But then we do know that turned out to be false. So either Alys wasn’t telling the truth entirely or it was a miracle baby. But then I remember in the previous chapters as well, she said none of her pregnancies came to term, so maybe she’s one of those who has delicate pregnancies?

"Do you think I would entrust a dragon's egg to a child I did not desire? To a child I was assured would never come to be?"

He should have gotten an ironclad written contract hahahaha Alys only said she needs his seed by lying with him, she never said it needed to flourish. I mean, I’m fairly certain Alys was pertaining to Aemond and Maera’s children here?

“The bloodline will come from your seed, my Prince,”

And this pertains to Aemond and Maera?

Through the binding of a son and daughter the King of Kings will be born, to unite and conquer the world.”

But anyway, hahaha are we sure Alys does not have feelings for him? Because it is said she looked slightly hurt after sleeping with him. Or maybe she wasn’t expecting him to really consider sleeping with her a chore?

But now that’s out of the way, could we pretty please get a hint of what’s coming? Will she kick the bucket next chapter? Or will something happen for her to be forced to kick the bucket? I’m glad to see Aemond’s perspective but I still think he bought into the last-chance sale offered to him. 😬

I have rough changes at work and this just brightened my day. Hope you’re enjoying your week so far!!

For real, Aemond is desperate and desperation makes people stupid, even our boy 🖤 in terms of Alys’s feelings 🤷🏻‍♀️ she probably expected him to think it was the best sex ever and at least stay with her or make her feel good 🤣

So 77 hints… Maera’s renewed isolation and building a kinship with Lord Unwin Peake- in canon he backed a random bastard in Kings Landing but I’ve put him here. We also see some characters for the very last time 🖤

[anjuschiffer]

Amira Wayne - Chapter 23

...oh where have the writing deities gone now that I’ve gotten this random burst of motivation despite my job draining me?

Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this chapter :D

-

P. Tag: @toodaloo-kangaroo @elijahcrevan @vixen-uchiha

Tag: @we-want-mini-mini @ramos123 @redscarlet95 @corabeth11 @anonymously-odd @officiallydarkgeek @galla02006 @jayjayspixiepop

If you would like to be added to the taglist, just let me know in the comments

-

Chapter 23: Family, Friends and Identities (2)

MASTERLIST | FIRST | PREV | AO3

Damian sat in the middle of the archive room, assessing his new findings over the portrait he found of his father and sister with the unknown woman although he did have an inkling of who she might just be. 

However, guesses are guesses until you have enough evidence to make them into truths. 

One thing led to another and after coming to an obvious conclusion, he needed some evidence to know that he was right…that he was right. 

Which is how he found himself in front of his sister’s room. 

After all, she must have some clues about the woman that shared the same portrait as her, even if it was from some time ago.

It was strange to say the less the awkwardness Damian felt as his hand hovered over the doorknob leading into sister’s room. 

While there was a logical, or rather, biological reasoning for Amira’s existence, that was just it…

He has a sister. 

He has a sister who he didn’t know about until just a few hours ago.  

A sister that is the same age as him and has been living with their father since she was a toddler. 

He didn’t even know about him until he was four and even then, he didn’t know his name until he requested it as a prize for managing to land a hit on his grandfather on his birthday duel…

And that was years ago…

He didn’t want to thank the traitor, but…if it weren’t for Wilson’s invasion, he would have never-

“You shouldn’t be here.” A voice spoke from behind him, Damian holding in a huff. 

Timothy Jackson Drake.  

Father’s latest charity case…

Even though Drake has one relative left to care for him…never mind that. 

Just how long has he been standing there?

Ignoring the child, Damian turned the knob, only for it to only turn halfway. 

Of course it was locked. 

“Amira-“ Drake started, only for Damian to cut him off.

“What my sister owns and does should not be a secret to me. I’m her brother.”

“Blood doesn’t justify invading another person’s privacy.” Tim argued, recalling the importance of the word ‘blood’ and ‘biological’ meant to him. “ She shouldn’t have to report about every little thing she does. She has a right to keep secrets to herself. Not even Jason walked into her room unless she allowed him in. And that’s considering the fact that Jason was the closest to her.”

Damian pondered for a minute, his hand never letting go of the door knob. 

“Jason…as in Jason Todd?” 

Tim fought the urge to let out a snort.  

“I thought you knew-“

“I saw him once in the halls of our headquarters.” Damian casually mentioned, wondering what Drake’s expression would look like. “Todd looked just like you when he arrived; scrawny and lacking any sense of-“

“Jason was with you?” Damian turned to face him and based on the expression on Drake’s face, it seems like no one knew where Todd resided these past few months… or the fact that he was even alive.

“Apparently you lack the skill to comprehend. I only saw him. Never actually interacted with that plebeian.” He watched the boy’s eyes narrow. 

“Do you always look down on those beneath-“

“When I saw him, he was being restrained by two of our strongest guards, they were taking him to our solitary confinement area.” Damian clarified, not exactly knowing why he did so. “He was thrashing, snarling like a wolf cub that had been taken away from its mother.” Damian began to walk down the hall, hearing Drake’s footsteps softly trailing behind him as he took a turn. “It was a miracle he actually managed to become sane again after emerging from it.

It didn’t seem like it at first by the way he reacted once he was out of the waters…

Even Grandfather found it fascinating to see a person react so violently after emerging from the Pits. He had neutralized the entire security around the waters, something only Grandfather had done.” He noticed Drake tense at his words.

He remained silent as they approached what he recalled to be his father’s room. Or at least, what should be his room if the floor plan he memorized was accurate to date. 

He turned the knob, surprised to see that it was actually open. 

Damian’s enthusiasm was short lived as he found nothing as he rummaged through the drawers and walkthrough closet, tapped at the bottom of every drawer, inspected the floors for any creaks, lifted any carpet he could find and checked behind any furniture he could move.

Not a single thing stood out from the norm..except for a few papers that laid on the nightstand.

Picking them up, he examined them, noticing that they were hotel reservations, attraction reservations, a few copies of money transfers…

“Oh, you found the tickets for Disneyland Bruce was looking for yesterday.” Drake casually stated, taking them out of his hand. “Should probably tell him-”

“Why does he need these? Are they part of some mission? But even then it wouldn’t make any sense. Why would he only need reservations for two people if it’s just-”

“He actually bought them for Harley and Ivy as thanks for- that’s right.” Drake tried to redirect, quickly making his way towards the door, apparently not knowing any better. “Alfred-”

Damian quickly grabbed him, throwing him  to the ground, pressing one of his daggers against his neck.

“Speak. Or else.”

“First, take that off me.” Drake demanded, Damian noticing the small trembles in his voice as he attempted to speak firmly. “Then I’ll tell you.”

Damian slowly lifted the blade, observing every moment from Drake as he slowly sat up. “As I mentioned, Bruce had bought these for Harley and Ivy.”

“Before you fail to mention why specifically Father bought those for Doctors Quinzel and Doctor Isley.”

“It’s seems like you already know who-“

“The Jester and plant maniac? I spent hours reviewing their files down-“

“Right… you see, they’re Amira’s therapists.”

“Therapy? Why would-“

“That’s something you should ask her, not me.”

“Why should I-“

“Just because I know why Amira receives therapy doesn’t permit me to tell others the reason why she does.” Drake reminded him, getting up and dusting himself. “Since it is something relating to her, it’s up to her whether or not she wants to share her personal activities. Even if they are family.” Drake slowly opened the door to walk out. “After all, family doesn’t always mean they respect your decisions and boundaries. Not even being blood related guarantees being understood…and I know that better than anyone…even you.”

With that, Drake left the room, leaving Damian to his own devices. 

Blood…

Ra’s always told him that blood was everything. Blood was family and that there wasn’t anything blood couldn’t do when it came to achieving greatness…especially for an Al Ghul.

And yet why was everyone so insistent in saying the opposite?

Damian decided to not dawdle into the thought for long, circling the room one last time before stopping at a door that he had yet to investigate. 

The placement of the door had thrown him off; the layout of his father’s bedroom wouldn’t have needed a door to the right as his wardrobe and bath were at their optimal place.  

So there was only one way to get his answers.

Testing the doorknob, he let out a sigh of relief when he found it opened, slowly pulling the door forward to see what was inside the room. 

A crib.

That’s the first thing Damian notes when he steps into the room, the mosquito net draped over it slightly obscuring the items within. 

The large cloth hung from the ceiling straight to the floor, Damian slowly walking up to it, pushing the net aside. 

It felt awkward as his hands tried to settle against the wooden frame, his hands hovering over the frame as he peered into the crib. 

A stuffed sheep stared back at him, mismatched buttons boring right into him. 

Now why would his father need a room like this? He wasn’t expecting another child…was he? If anything, he shouldn’t be. If the files he read on Kyle meant anything, his father had yet to procure another being as they are…engaged… 

Damian felt his nose wrinkle at the thought. 

His father, marrying a thief. Out of all the women his father could have settled with, why a thief? Why not a woman of his stature? Of his league?

”The heart is a feeble thing, emotions even more. Make sure you never let those things dull your sense of duty.” 

That’s right. 

Grandfather had always warned him of emotions and the heart making one soft and causing one to stray away from their potential. 

Perhaps he could help talk his father out of this. Maybe help him look for someone else who could- a faint glare snapped him from his thoughts.

Damian quickly picked up the sheep that was staring at him all this time, lifting its ear up to see a name embroidered in gold into the inner portion of its ear.

Amira.

Quickly scanning the room, he noticed the walls covered in photos, drawings and diplomas displayed for everyone to see. Books lining the shelves of a nearby bookcase and other odd items adorning the floating shelves on the other side of the room. 

What seemed to be a table of some sorts had padding on its top, empty crates next to it.

It was then that it dawned on him. 

This was Amira’s nursery. 

He quickly went over to the frames, absorbing the photos of Amira looking straight at him with large doe eyes or a huge toothless smile. Or with a single tooth in some photos. 

Pictures of Amira wearing overalls and tiny frilly dresses, sometimes wearing a smock with paints or food thickly covering her small hands. 

There was one picture with the very same sheep he saw early, only this time, the doll was covered in mud and had lost a limb during play time. 

There were drawings of all sorts hanging about, some of random strokes of paint covering a canvas while there were a few of more detailed scenery, Damian being able to tell his sister was at an age where perspective was yet to be her forte, but he could see her improvement throughout the years…

Damian felt his gut twist at that realization…

Amira had evidence of her growing here, of her skills improving and seeing the improvement herself…evidence of her existence…evidence of their father’s pride in her…

It wasn’t until he heard something hit the floor that Damian realized that he was carrying Amira’s sheep in his hands the entire time, realizing then that he had torn off its eye from the frustration, the button falling onto the floor.

Setting it down on a nearby chair, Damian went back to looking at the diplomas and certificates that he realized something wasn’t right…

“Who is Marinette Dupain?”

—

Chloe gnawed the tip of her nail, pulling her thumb away when she realized what she was doing. Although honestly, she could care less about her manicure right now. 

She had other matters to think about, like Alya’s visit.

Just what did Alya want to talk about? Was this about earlier today? About not being part of their party? Then again, she mentioned Marinette.

But what about Marinette? 

Marinette was…Marinette! There was nothing more to the girl than- 

Chloe let out a scoff, biting her tongue to hold in a laugh.

Marinette wasn’t just Marinette, but at the same time, she was. 

Yes, her knowing Selina Kyle threw her off at first, but after knowing that the girl had known Jason Todd -one of Bruce Wayne’s sons- of course it would make sense that Marinette would know the rest of the family.

But then there was the kidnapping…she was just the daughter of a pair of sweet bakers, who would kidnap the child of a pair of bakers?

But what if…what if…what if knowing the Wayne’s made her a target?

Was Alya perhaps going to talk about that? About Marinette’s connections with the Wayne’s? Did she find something regarding the reason behind her kidnapping?

But then again, she wasn’t in the know of the kidnapping, unless Marinette told her… so why-

“-Queen! My Queen! Your phone has been going off for some time now!” Pollen spoke up, snapping Chloe from her thoughts.

Quickly going to pick up her phone, Chloe was about to return the phone call when she noticed Pollen whiz away. On cue, Adrien came bursting into her room. 

“Chloe! What’s wrong? Why aren’t you answering- oh. You’re fine.” Adrien pointed out. 

“Of course I am! Why-“ Chloe tried to deflect.

“I’ve been texting you for a while and when those didn’t get read, I tried calling. And when you didn’t pick those up, I came here thinking something had happened to you. After all, there isn’t a time you aren’t on your phone.” 

“But as you can see, I’m fine. I was just busy admiring the bracelet Marinette gave me.” Chloe showed off said bracelet, Adrien noticing that a few of her nails had picked nail polish, parts of it lifting. He frowned.

“Somethings bothering you. Tell me.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“Liar.” 

The room stayed silent for a while. “Sit down.” Adrien motioned to the chaise, patting a seat next to him. A split minute passed when Chloe finally sat down beside her friend. “So, what happened?”

“Alya wants to talk about Marinette. Not exactly sure about what, but…”

“But what?”

“That's just it, I don’t know.” Chloe stared at her hands, taking off the last bit of nail polish off her finger. “Her voice, her way of asking me if she could see me now…it sounded urgent. Panicky,  almost.”

When Adrien didn’t comment on anything, Chloe decided to turn to him, only to find him zoned on who knows what. “Adrien?”

“So she didn’t mention what she wanted to talk about?”

“Didn’t you just hear what I said?” She scoffed. “Ridiculous. Anyways, she urgently wanted to talk about Marinette and didn’t mention-“

“If she didn’t mention anything, that means it’s something she uncovered while looking at Marinette’s public information.” 

“Public information? What is that suppose to-”

“Alya knows something that everyone else doesn’t. It’s something besides having been Banshee, besides her being adopted, besides being from Gotham and knowing the Wayne’s.” 

“Are you saying Cesaire is digging up information on Marinette?” Chloe couldn’t believe the girl. “She claims to be her friend and she does that? Who does-”

“You know she’s not like that Chlo. We both know that.” Chloe remained silent. “I didn’t mean to imply that Alya is digging up information on Marinette, but rather…”

“Rather what?” Now Adrien went quiet, causing Chloe to scowl. “Adrien, what are you getting at?”

“It’s…it’s something that’s been weighing on my mind recently. Something that has been plaguing me ever since we’ve come back from Gotham.”

“Adrien…that was almost a month ago. Why didn’t you-”

“Because it concerns Marinette…”

“Now you’re doubting Marinette?”

“Chloe, listen…I think…I think Marinette isn’t who she says she is.”

“Adrien. You can’t just-”

“I know, I know! But…Chloe.” He grabbed her hands. “You’re my bestest friend. My sister from other parents. You know I trust you with everything, right?”

“I know that already. But what’s does this-“

“What I’m about to tell you stays between the two of us, okay?” 

“Always.” She answered without a second thought.

“Chloe,” he huffs. “There were so many loose threads and even then, I’m sure of what I’m about to say…” Chloe feels his grasp tighten. “Marinette…I believe Marinette Dupain Cheng is not the Marinette Dupain Cheng she claims to be. I believe…I believe that it’s just-”

“Adrien…get to the point already…please…” Chloe rushed, causing Adrien to hesitate to finish his thoughts more than what he already was.

“I know it sounds crazy and believe me, I’ve been in denial this entire time but now I’m sure of it. Marinette is actually-” The sound of footsteps caused Adrien to stop mid sentence, the two turning their heads to the doors to see who was running towards them.

They watched as the doors bursted open, Alya not even giving them a second to question her entrance.

“Marinette is Ladybird!” Alya bursted out only to then collapse to the floor.

“Cesaire! How dare you-” Chloe started to yell as she approached Alya.

“I don’t care if Adrien is here and I don’t care what you say about me having to ask to enter because you have to help me decide what the fuck to do with this piece of information,” Alya demanded, taking out a flashdrive, “because I can’t exactly say this on the Ladyblog or anywhere without causing another-“

“Alya, calm down. Breathe.” Adrien told her as he guided her to a seat at the chaise they had gotten up from. “And we’re going to have you say that one again because we want to make sure what you said was indeed what you said, okay?” Chloe handed her over a bottle of water. 

When Alya took a few sips and calmed out a bit, she looked at the two before taking interest in the bottle in her hands. 

“As I was trying to say before, I found out something I wasn’t supposed to.” She looked at the two before her. “Marinette… 

Marinette is Ladybird…and unfortunately, I have proof.”

——

It seemed that with each room he tried to enter to get answers, his list of questions only got longer.

Seeing as his father’s room had no answers and nor did the nursery, Damian returned to the room his brain knew should have the answers to all his questions: Amira’s. 

After taking mere seconds to lockpick the bedroom door, Damian was yet again disappointed with the lack of answers he got from his sister’s room as well.

Every photo on the wall lacked the face of the woman in the portrait. Instead, various photos of the circus boy and orphan joined her in several photos. In others, there were other teens being the main focus with his sister being in the background. 

In short, his sister also knew nothing of the woman from the portrait. However, there was something that caught his eye.

A red haired teen would often be found holding his sister’s hand in more recent photos, the teen often found being at her side at all times. 

While Damian was raised within the domain that was the League of Assassins, that didn’t mean he wasn’t aware of the signs of intimacy between two people. 

And this was exactly it. 

But who exactly was he?

Did their father allow them to be together? Was he of the same standing as them? 

Perhaps of the same wealth status? And if not that, then what? 

Damian closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he cleared those thoughts away. 

Focus. 

He’s not your top priority now. Finding out who the woman was and why his father had diplomas of a ‘Marinette Dupain’ in the nursery were his main concerns. 

After re-establishing his thoughts, Damian sat down on the edge of his sister’s bed, staring at the photo of what he assumed to be the skyline of the city of Paris from the top of the Eiffel-

Paris?

Why did his sister have a picture of the skyline of Paris? Or rather, how did she get this picture? Judging from the angle of the photo, it wasn’t just from the touristic height of the tower, but rather the very top, from the antenna of the tower itself…

“I have a few things left to do before I have to go elsewhere.” 

“Duties? Robin?”

His sister’s words from before her departure rang in his head. 

Just what were her duties in Paris? What drove her to Paris that made her not want to take the mantle of Robin?

Seems like there was only one thing left to do: visit his sister.

But first, he had some research he had to do before heading there.

-

The three teens looked at the screen in front of them, Alya barely holding in her tears while Chloe tore off a tip of her nail she had been chewing this entire time. 

Alya had decided to run through all of her data she had gathered that proved Marinette being Ladybird, screen mirroring Chloe’s laptop screen to a nearby tv to allow the three of them to see everything clearly. 

To see the facts Marinette had hidden from them all this time. 

From her mystery filled family background to her ability to adapt to any challenge thrown her way to knowing government related issues regular civilians shouldn’t know about...

“And you’re sure you haven’t told anyone-“

“For the last time Adrien, no!” Alya shrieked, finally letting the tears spill. “I’ve only found out now! Everything clicked when I left the Dupain-Cheng’s, I-“ Alya let out a frustrated scream, pulling at her hair. “What am I supposed to do with this?! Tell me, what-“

“Alya, please! This is…this is just as-'' Chloe dug her nails into the palm of her hand. “If she’s really Ladybird, then she must’ve had her reasons. I mean, Hawkmoth! 

She couldn’t just go and reveal herself to us. Can you imagine what would have happened if Hawkmoth knew that we knew who she was? 

He could’ve used us against her. And I don’t ever want to go against her!”

“Because of Banshee?” Alya dared to ask.

“What? No!” Chloe shrieked, appalled Alya would ever say something like that regarding their friend. “Because if she’s Ladybird, then I can’t risk endangering one of Paris’ vigilantes! And…

And…because she’s my friend, Alya. And the last thing I wanna do is hurt my friends, even outside of being a Victim.”

“Is that why you came to tell us?” Adrien asked, hating the pit he felt in his stomach after hearing Alya’s question. “Are you…are you afraid of Marinette turning into something like Banshee again?”

Alya opened her mouth to refute, only to clamp it shut when she saw Chloe’s wide eyes. 

“Cesaire. What the-“

“No! Yes! I don’t know!” Alya slumped to the floor. “I’m worried that one of us might get akumatized again and-“

“Again?” 

“Alya, what do you mean by again?”

“If Marinette knows that I know that she is Ladybird, her emotions will get the best of her if I decide to confront her and ask if she truly is Ladybird. She won’t turn into Banshee per se, but she could turn into something just as powerful and if not, worse. And if she decides to lie to me fully knowing my evidence is correct, being called a liar…I’m afraid…I’m afraid I must just- I just…I don’t want anyone to fall into Hawkmoth’s manipulation again.” 

Alya hugged her knees, her head pressed against them. “ I don’t want to fall into this manipulation again…I don’t ever want to go through that again...”

“You keep saying again…were you akumatized before?” Adrien asked. Seconds ticked before Alya raised her head to look at him. 

“LadyWifi. That’s how I realized Marinette was Ladybird. While we were talking, I brought up therapy and tried to tell her how she had to power through all of this…even when we feel like we should be punished for something we weren’t aware that we did…

It was then that she mentioned LadyWifi. 

No one should’ve known that I was LadyWifi and when I realized this..” she quietly trailed off. “I got so excited to know I wasn’t the only one who felt this way that nothing alarmed me at first and when it finally dawned on me...it was too late.

I had connected the dots and now…everything she had ever said to me makes sense…and now I can’t do anything to help her because I fear I’ll do more harm than good if I try to approach her…

And that’s the last thing I want to do. I don’t ever want to hurt those close to me, those dear to me. Because unlike you Chloe, I have hurt my friends and family before and before you say anything, you aren’t going to be the first one to tell me about this, nor the last. 

‘It wasn’t your fault,’ LadyWifi wasn’t really you. Her actions weren’t yours. You weren’t in control.’ But that’s exactly what bothers me!

Because it was me. Because it was me. 

Just because I don’t remember being LadyWifi doesn’t mean I wasn’t at fault!

After all, it was my fault for letting my emotions get the better of me, of allowing myself to get manipulated by Hawkmoth despite being fully aware of the conditions needed for him to take control of you…

While I was LadyWifi, I hurt so many people around me…I hurt Ladybird…

I feel like I should be held accountable for all the trouble I did while akumatized…even if I was being mind controlled…

And since Marinette shares the same approach to akumatization, I can only imagine the turmoil she is going through…”

The trio sat there, wondering what to do with this information, wondering how the three could avoid setting-

That’s when something dawned onto Adrien.

“Why hasn’t he attacked us?” The two girls looked up.

“He?”

“Hawkmoth.” Chloe’s eyes widened.

“Now that you mention it.”

“He hasn’t akumatized a single person since Banshee.” Alya noticed. “How long has it been since then?”

“Almost a month.” Chloe watched as Alya quickly opened up Beetle and Cat, navigating to the page that listed all of the latest Victims, Banshee being the most recent of them all and just as Chloe mentioned, that was roughly three weeks ago. 

There’s no way Hawkmoth would’ve let this type of opportunity slip just like that. 

So then, why?

“What hasn’t he akumatized us yet?” Adrien asked no one in particular.

“Could Banshee have taken that much energy from him?”

“We don’t know for sure.” Alya said as she continued to browse the site. “Hawkmoth has never been MIA before so we can’t really say for sure that was the case. 

It doesn’t help that we don’t know much about Hawkmoth nor the main details of the Banshee case.” Alya quickly filled in when she remembered what Marinette told her not long ago. “The security breach.”

“The what now?” Chloe looked at Adrien for clarification only to get a shrug of the shoulders. 

“The security breach. Marinette spoke to me about the city’s internet having been hacked into that allowed the situation in Paris to be known world wide. Marinette said that her identity as Banshee was leaked and how she has to lay low for-”

“The PRM has been violated.” Chloe whispered, Alya wondering what that meant. 

“Alya, what else do you know about this security breach?” Now that threw Alya for a spin. 

First Chloe and then Adrien. 

Why are they acting more serious the minute she spoke more about the breach? 

“Apparently, during the Banshee incident, Paris’ internet got hacked, allowing everyone in the world to see the whole akuma attack play out, including the aftermath. Because of this, Mari-”

“He’s being affected by this too.” Chloe pointed out. “With the Hawkmoth situation now out in the open, Hawkmoth is being more cautious now.”

“Of course!” Alya caught on. “With more eyes on him, he’s probably laying low to stop himself from-”

“No. I don’t think that is the case.” Adrien shut down, both girls feeling their conviction shrink. “I don’t think he would really care about having more eyes on him. If anything, he would see this as an opportunity. 

Take Queen Bee for instance. 

Even with the addition of more heroes, that didn’t stop him from akumatizing civilians. 

If anything, I think he’s using this as a distraction. He’s using the security breach as a means to gather the attention away from him and let it point towards the Parisian government for hiding this from the rest of France and the world.”

“But why would he do that? What has he to gain from all this chaos?” Alya’s eyes widened. “Oh no.”

“With this all going on, everyone will be on high alert now. Everyone’s minds and emotions would be all over the place.” Chloe scowled. “He’s not hiding because he’s afraid.”

“He’s hiding because he’s planning something big.” Adrien finished off.

“But can’t we-? I mean, I know we can’t exactly go to Marinette and ask about being Ladybird and whether she has noticed this or not. But we can’t just let Hawkmoth-“

“But we can’t just throw this at Marinette either. She’s already been through a lot this past month. I don’t think it’s wise of us to throw this identity question at her right now.”

“But Adrien! We have to act now! We know Hawkmoth is into something and if we don’t do something about it, all of Paris-“

“We can’t just go ahead and start doing something without a plan, Alya.” Adrien hissed, “We can’t just-“

“I agree, but I’m with Cesaire on this.” Chloe sided, taking Alya aback. “True, we can’t just ask Marinette about all of this, but we can’t just sit here and do nothing either. 

I want to do something before Hawkmoth gets the chance to act. I want to stop him before he can hurt anyone else…don’t you too, Adrien?”

Adrien stared at the girls before letting out a sigh. 

“We can’t just go ahead and play hero, you know that, don’t you?” When Adrien saw Chloe open her mouth to retort, he continued. “But knowing you, I know you’re going to do what you can to get what you want and all I can do is help prevent you from throwing yourself into danger.”

“Are you saying-”

“We have to create an opportunity to ask Marinette about all of this while also making a plan to try and let another vigilante know that Hawkmoth is planning something.” Adrien addressed. “I might know of a way to get into contact with one of the other vigilantes, even if it is risky, but as for creating an opportunity to ask Marinette…”

“We have to make the opportunity as soon as possible too.” Chloe pointed out. “After all, we don’t know when Hawkmoth might strike.”

“And we might need to take Selina into account for our plans.” Alya brought up. “Marinette mentioned that Selina is looking after her at the moment as her parents are in China visiting family and is feeling guilty for allowing Marinette to get kidnapped while in her care. We won’t be able to ask Marinette out unless Selina is there to look after her. And if we don’t take Selina in account, then the only other way we can ask Marinette would be at school.”

“But that would be in a month and we don’t exactly have time to just wait for the right time.” Adrien stated, noticing Chloe having gone quiet. “Chlo, what’s on your mind?

“What about another party? And this time…let’s invite the Wayne’s. We were invited to one of their galas before, it’s only right we invited them to ours.”

-

Amira bit her tongue, fighting the urge to take off her coat and shoes and just run back upstairs. Just thinking about heading outside made bile rise up to her mouth, Amira feeling her hands tremble as she tried to stuff them further into her pockets. She felt as her nails dug into her palm, wondering why they weren’t calming her down like usual.

A few days after the Christmas party, Adrien and Chloe invited her and her parents to a New Year’s Eve party, Amira finding herself promising to be there and promising to bring some eclairs for her friends.

“Māomāo, everything alright?” Selina asked, snapping Amira from her thoughts. 

“I’m fine.” She lied to herself, letting out a long huff. “A bit nervous, but I’m fine.”

“We don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Selina softly spoke, her father nodding in agreement. 

“It’s one thing if you guys don’t go and it’s another if I don’t go. While they’re expecting both of us to be there, they’re expecting me to actually show up because I’m their friend.”

“They’ll understand if you don’t want to go.”

“But I need to go.”

“Amira,” her father spoke, crouching to her eye level. “Don’t force yourself if you’re not feeling up to it.”

“I’m not forcing myself and I do want to go. I can’t go back on my promise after all.”

Bruce looked at Selina, Selina giving him a shrug.

“Alright. We’ll all go. But if anything-”

“I’ll make sure to let you guys be the first ones to know if anything goes wrong.” 

“Alright then.” Selina said, clapping her hands together. “As much as I like making a grand entrance, being two hours late isn’t what I consider to be an entrance nor can my outfit for tonight allow me to use the excuse of being fashionably late. So come on. Let’s go already.”

-

Amira didn’t know what to expect when Chloe had told her almost anyone she could think of -celebrity wise- would be at the party. 

For starters, her parents. The minute they entered, they were swarmed with people, a few congratulating their engagement, some asking them for the wedding date while others tried to talk business with them. 

While her parents took the room by storm, she quietly made her entrance, asking Chloe’s butler -Armand- about Chloe’s whereabouts.

According to the man, he last saw her with her father, who was just on the other side of the dimly lit hall.

As she made her way towards the mayor,  she couldn’t help but notice a few strangling reporters like Nadja Chamack there and a few play directors like Sarah in the crowd talking with Paris’ most popular show host Alec Cataldi.

She also noticed Bob Roth with his son in the crowd, his cackling regarding who knows whatever new accomplishment his son did causing her to make a mental note of avoiding him at all cost.

She didn’t need to get tangled into a long conversation of boasting with a man who already gave her a bad impression.

Just as she reached the mayor, she was tackled from behind, thankful to know it was just Chloe and Sabrina, the two girls having been tailing her the moment she walked in.

Sabrina tried to tell her something, but the multitude of conversations surrounding them, Chloe suggested they meet up with the others, Amira fully agreeing to going to a more open spaced area to converse in.

As Chloe guided her to where the rest of the group was at, she couldn’t help but spot Penny Rolling- Jagged Stone’s manager and if she was there, Jagged himself should be somewhere nearby. And the minute Chloe had guided her to the rooftop, she spotted the rock singer by the pool, telling Adrien and Nino stories of his tours and about Fang. Said reptilian guest was splashing about in the water, without a single care in the world.

It was only when Jagged spotted Clara Nightingale in the distance that he tore himself from the group, quickly giving them an apology before running over to talk with the pop singer. Something about an upcoming collaboration. 

“Marinette! You made it!” Adrien chirped, going up to hug his friend.

“Dudette! How've you been?”

“Never felt better!” Marinette said with a practiced smile. “By the way, I brought the snacks you guys asked for. I made sure to leave it in the kitchen for safe keeping. Oh, but won’t Natalie say anything about the sweets? I know-”

“You don’t gotta worry about her!” Nino said with a grin. “My dude can finally eat whatever he wants without her reporting to his old man tonight, isn’t that right?” Nino turned to Adrien.

“Y-yeah.” Adrien said with a strain smile. “She let me come here while she stayed back home.”

“Hey, is everything alright?” Chloe asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“Adrien, are you alright?” Sabrina looked at their friend with worry.

“My dad…my dad hasn’t been feeling well as of late. It sometimes happens from time to time where he would randomly collapse, sometimes getting fevers and bad colds out of nowhere. Nathalie tells me everything is fine, that it’s just from overworking himself…but…I think it’s more than just work…” Adrien fumbled with his hands. “I’m worried they’re just trying to downplay it…just like…just like when-”

“Ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!” Chloe interrupted. “This is a party. A party I worked hard for so that we can enjoy ourselves and countdown for the new year. I don’t want you starting the new year being all sulky when you have us around, so enough of this!” She looked Adrien square in the eyes. “You will enjoy this party and I’ll make sure of that!”

“That’s right!” Sabrina backed up.

“We’ll make sure you party so hard you forget about all the things that are making you sad!” Nino added.

“Adrien,” Marinette softly spoke up. “You’re dad is going to get better, you’ll see. And just like Chloe said, we’re here for you.” Amira mentally laughed at herself. The sweet hypocrisy that was about to come out of her mouth. “If you ever need someone to talk to, we’re here for you. You can trust us, okay?”

Adrien nodded, finally giving them a grin.

“Alright then, what are we waiting for? Let’s start with some drinks!”

“You know we’re not supposed to drink more than a cup, alright?” 

The group of friends managed to find an empty table to sit at and get some champagne, the friends quickly diving into small talk and retellings of their childhoods. 

Hours passed and Amira could feel the jitters from earlier start to fade away over the course of the night, even telling stories of her time at Gotham Academy and stories of when she first started to learn to bake.

Amira smiled as the others laughed at her retelling of her attempt at a cake when something passed by her, the corner of her eye barely catching it.

She ever so slightly turned her head to see what it was only to feel her heart stop and drop to the pits of her stomach.

Dark purple wings barely made it through the shut roof doors, but she knew that shade of purple all too well.

Hawkmoth’s butterflies’ wings. As in…an akuma…

“Marinette, is everything alright? Marinette jumped at the sound of Sabrina’s voice, turning to see said girl quite close to her. “You don’t seem-”

“I’m fine!” Marinette managed to squeak out, noticing she caught Chloe and Adrien’s attention from her sudden shout. “I-I just need to st- I was wondering where the kitchen was! I want to bring in the eclairs I made.” Marinette managed to fumble out, hoping they wouldn’t question her any further. After all, she had to find that akuma…now. “Do you know where it-”

“Marinette, are you alright?” Adrien asked, Marinette cursing his timing. “You seem a bit pale.”

“She says she’s fine. She’s looking for-”

“The kitchen!” Marinette cut Sabrina off. “I want to bring my surprise in!”

“Oh, I can take-”

“NO! I mean, no, that’s- I can get there myself! I, um, I can go if you just tell me how to get there.”

“Oh, I- sure, I guess.” Adrien fumbled, wondering why Marinette was acting strange. Was she onto them? “It’s right down stairs, right under us, in fact.”

“Under us? Alright. Thanks!” Without a second to lose, Amira bolted towards the glass dome, making sure each step she toko connected with the step, making sure she held onto the railing as she walked down the spiral stairway.  

She cursed herself when she realized she lost the butterfly when a faint trail of miasma seeped from the doors that lead to the staff stairwell. 

Without missing a beat, Amira followed, apologizing whenever she almost knocked someone over as she went to the stairwell, her eye barely catching the miasma as it went to a lower level, Amira stepping into the new floor, noticing the miasma seeping out of another pair of doors yet again.

Rushing towards the doors, she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise when her hand touched the door handle. 

Pushing the doors inwards, Amira scanned the room, wondering where she was at. She circled around the round table, admiring the neatly composed white rose bouquet. She picked up on the two open doorways on either side of the room, wondering where she should start with to search for the aku- 

“Mlle Dupain-Cheng. I did not take you to be a child that snoops around other people’s homes.” Amira whipped her head to find Gabriel Agreste sitting on the furthest sofa chair, his eyes casted onto the book in his hands. 

“Mr.Agreste! I- I thought you were-what are you doing here?”

“The same reason you are here, Mlle Dupain-Cheng. I was invited to Mlle Bourgeois’ New Year Eve’s party. I had arrived just a few minutes ago, but I asked Andre if I could have a few minutes to compose myself before joining everyone else. He agreed, graciously allowing me to have a seat here.” Gabriel flipped a page. “But what about you, Mlle Dupain-Cheng? What brings you to Mlle Bourgeois’ quarters?”

“O-Oh. I-I wasn’t aware this was Chloe’s room…this is Chloe’s room?”

“More like her entertainment room although she likes to try and call it a waiting room for any person she deems worthy of her time. She usually spends her time here watching the hotel’s security cameras or viewing movies…or at least that’s what Adrien says Chloe does whenever they’re in this particular room.” Another page got flipped. “So back to the question, what brings you here when you should be upstairs, enjoying the countdown with your friends?”

“I was looking for the kitchen to check on the pastry I brought for the party. I was told it was the room just below the rooftop.” Marinette spoke, daring to take a step forward, now standing in the doorway. She scanned the room for any remnants of the akuma, only to realize that there was no miasma to be found anywhere in the room. 

There was no butterfly in sight either. “I must’ve gotten distracted by my phone as I went down the stairs as when I walked through the doors, I just found myself in a corridor and not the extravagant hall I was first brought to. Thinking I would find someone here to help me, I walked through the first doors I saw and I didn’t think I would run into you Mr.Agreste.

Although to be completely honest, I did not expect you to be up and walking. I was told you weren’t feeling well as of late. Or rather, Adrien told me that you’ve been fighting an awful cold these past few days.”

She didn’t expect Gabriel to be taken aback by this sentence, or rather, the fact that Gabriel took the time to look at her when she mentioned Adrien being worried about his father. He looked back down on his book.

“Adrien should not worry much; there have been a few times this has happened to me, but this cold will leave me soon…” Gabriel closed his book. “If memory serves me correctly,” Gabriel slowly got up, tucking the book into his arm. It was only then that Marinette noticed what the book he was reading this entire time was: the grimoire. “This is our second time meeting each other, is it not?”

“I suppose you can say that.” Marinette said, remaining where she was, making sure to scan the room with as little movement as possible. “But if you don’t want Adrien to worry, shouldn’t you-“

“Do you believe in fates, Mlle Dupain-Cheng?” Marinette tried her best to not show her confusion.

“What do you mean by that?”

“There must have been a reason for you waltzing into this room, Mlle Dupain-Cheng. Don’t you agree?” That took Marinette aback, almost letting out a laugh from the sudden change in topic but she bit her tongue to prevent herself from doing so. 

“Like I said before, I was looking for the kitchen to bring my pastry to Adrien’s room. But to answer your question, I don’t fully believe in fates and destinies. I say we have the ability to change them.”

“You disappoint me, Mlle Dupain Cheng.” Marinette frowned.

“Sounds like you are hoping I would agree with-“

“I was. After all, we’re two kindred spirits.” Gabriel took a seat at another sofa, this time motioning Marinette to take a seat on the opposite one. Slowly, she took the offer. “Marinette, I need your help.”

What?

“With all due respect Mr.Agreste, what can I -a 13 year old girl- do to help you? I don’t have much to off-“

“Oh, but you do.” Gabriel disputed. “You know how to translate the language in this book, can’t you?” She tensed up when he motioned the grimoire. 

That’s right. He knows that I know. He knows that I still remembered parts of Jason’s journal by memory. But why is he bringing that up now?

“As I’ve mentioned before,” she let herself relax, disregarding the still standing hairs on her neck. “It was my brother who knew how to decipher it. I, myself, don’t actually know much about the language, much less how to decipher it. So I don’t see how-”

“Yes, you did mention that it was him who knew the mysteries behind the book’s language.” Gabriel said, opening up the grimoire. “However, thanks to the small translations you’ve left behind, I was able to understand a few of the pages within the book.”

Marinett’s eyes widened. Did…did he find out about- no.

There’s no way he learned how to properly decipher the grimoire in mere days, there’s no way. Not with the simple translations she left behind. Hell, he shouldn’t be able to figure that out at all!

After all, it took Jason months to even find out that there was-

The cameras! 

She should’ve been checking them more often! Speaking of, when was the last time she checked it? Was it after- “Take the following section regarding the Butterfly. ” Gabriel started, interrupting her flow of thoughts. 

“The Butterfly is the miraculous of transmission, not to be confused with the miraculous of emotion - the peacock. While both are similar in regards to the miraculi allowing their users to grant powers to others, their way of doing so is where it differs. While the peacock user can grant an ally a champion to command, the butterfly user makes their ally into the champion.” 

Silence shortly filled the room, allowing Marinette to hear her heart racing loudly in her ears.

“I’m-I’m,” Marinette could feel her uncertainty continue to eat her thoughts, “I’m sorry…I-I don’t quite follow. How did the translations I left behind-”

“You see, thanks to the few translations you’ve left behind, I was able to see where my own translations were wrong, where I mistranslated and therefore mixed up the actual meaning of various pages of information.” Gabriel turned over a few more pages, the flipping coming to a stop a few pages over. “I always mistook the words ‘transmission’ and ‘emotion’ to be the same word, using them interchangeably throughout my translations. 

However, had I not stumbled into you and for you to give me with the little knowledge you had on the ancient language, I would have continued to misinterpret the information within the book. 

And for that, I thank you.” 

Thank me? 

I did nothing.

Jason was the one he should be thankful for. 

Why can’t he understand that it was all Jason?

Jason…she never told him about any of this! How did she forget to tell him?

“You have nothing to thank me for. If you want to thank anyone, it should be my brother..if he was still with us...” Gabriel watched the girl sink into herself 

“While it was your brother who originally discovered how to decipher the language, it was you who continued his legacy.” 

Her mind went blank. She felt her back straighten upon hearing those words. “Or do you not believe so?”

No.

“No.” She ended up vocalizing, saying it as she looked at him. “I-I don’t think-” 

“You see, Marinette. Thanks to the little amount of translation you’ve left behind, I was able to fully translate this small portion of the introductory paragraph of the butterfly miraculous that I wasn’t able to before.”

“Again,” Marinette clasped her hands together, fighting the urge to dig her nails into them. “That was all my brother.” 

That’s right, this was all Jason. 

She didn’t do a single thing to earn this praise. If anything, she was just taking credit for it…

“I just managed to know a few words that- coincident-“

“That wasn’t a mere coincidence, Marinette. This, this is the power of your knowledge-” 

Jason’s knowledge. 

Jason’s determination to crack the code. 

His efforts. 

Not hers. 

She somehow managed to zone back into Gabriel’s monologue. “-even as little as it may be, you've remembered enough of your brothers translations-“

“It was all his efforts! Not mine!” Marinette yelled, feeling her throat drying up. 

Oh. 

Oh no. 

Now there’s a lump. “I only know some of the things that he did and that just won’t be enough! Whatever it is you wanted me to help you with, I can’t help you! I have nothing else to offer!” She let herself catch her breath. “All I did was memorize what he translated and that’s it! I myself can’t translate the book! I’m…I’m useless…”

She didn’t expect her to get a laugh from Gabriel.

“Useless? Marinette, take a good look at yourself.” He smiled, sending a chill down her spine. “You’re more than just a translator. You’re the key to my success.”

“I’m- what?” 

Why? Why does he keep insisting- 

“With the knowledge you possess, you can translate the rest of the book, can’t you? Once you’ve helped me translate the book, you’ll help me-”

“I already told you that I can’t! Why are you still-”

“Marinette, my child. You’re failing to see the truth before your eyes.”

Truth? 

Why does she keep feeling this way? 

Why can’t she shake this feeling off? 

That something was happening and she couldn’t figure out what it was…

“Truth?”

“The truth. Your worth. Your potential.” Gabriel flipped to another page in his book. “You’re so busy trying to keep your emotions in check that you’ve become afraid of the possible aftermath that would happen if you let them out.”

Emotions in check? 

There it was again, her mind warning her about something…

“What are you-“

“Just imagine the creativity of your ideas if you just let them be, to let them happen without logic backing them up but instead emotion.”

“You’re not making any sen-“

“According to the grimoire, emotions allow a champion to become their greatest self, their power limitless if they allow their emotions to completely take over. Banshee-“ her breath hitched, “-was a perfect example of-“

“Stop it!” Marinette cut off, struggling to keep herself calm. The itching that began to gnaw on her skin didn’t help. “What do you know about-“

“I know a lot of people are against the idea of Hawkmoth’s guidance-“

“Guidance?” Marinette scoffed, hearing something inside her snap. “He uses a person’s greatest emotion and uses it to further his distorted desires, whatever it is. That’s not guidance. That’s manipulation.”

“But couldn’t the same be said about Ladybird?” 

All the buzzing in her head went silent.

“Ladybird?”

“Why yes. Despite her declaration after the defeat of Remidator, she has yet to complete her promise. Better yet, she had to gather help to take down Hawkmoth.”

“Because Hawkmoth has gotten stronger.” Marinette defended.

“That is true. But if that’s the case wouldn’t you think she would be in the front lines more than ever?”

“What do you mean more?”

“Oh.” Gabriel smirked. That couldn’t be good. “Haven’t you noticed? She hasn’t been on the frontlines for the past, I want to say, five akumas.”

“You probably didn’t see her.” Marinette tried to play off. “After all, now we have more than just her and Chat. We have two other heroes- Queen Bee and Carapace.” 

“Perhaps that is the case. But even when it was just the two of them, only Chat Noir would be seen more often; Ladybird would often make her entrance halfway through the fight. Wouldn’t you say she’s just using her supposed comrades to do the majority of the work before taking cre-”

“No! Why would she-”

“Why would she indeed? That is a good question. Do you want to know what I believe is to be the answer?”

Marinette sat there silently, allowing Gabriel to continue. “I think she wasn’t supposed to be Ladybird from the beginning.

She wasn’t meant to be the one to guide her team. I think Ladybird was supposed to be someone else. 

That the current one is only Ladybird now because she was a last resort.

After all that would be the only explanation behind her behavior. Why else would she be-“

“You’re  wrong.” Marinette tried to defend, but was coming with a blank. “Ladybird…Ladybird-”

“Ladybird is simply a placeholder and because of that, she can’t truly control her powers to its full extent. Why, with the most recent akuma proved that. Had she been the true Ladybug, Ladybird should have-”

“The power of the miraculous depends on the holder wielding the miraculous in that moment.” Marinette started, not really sure why she was even trying to defend herself, because Gabriel had a point…she couldn’t even hold up her end of her promise. 

Even with her comrades…she had yet to gather enough evidence and manpower to take down Hawkmoth. “Based on the holder’s compatibility, creativity and relation with the miraculous, the miraculous in use will be either at its most prime state or at its worst. 

Based on the latest additions to the grimoire, in comparison to her previous predecessors, our Ladybird seems to be the most astute of them all.” Marinette glared at Gabriel. 

That’s right.

Maybe she wasn’t the best Ladybug, but the new one will. They would have all the knowledge they would need to do what she couldn’t - defeat Hawkmoth!

The true Ladybug will triumph!

“So don’t say Ladybird isn’t fit for the job when she is! She will defeat Hawkmoth, just watch!” 

They just have to!

Standing up, Marinette marched back towards the doors that lead her to this room. “And if that’s all you wanted from me, then goodb-”

“And you called yourself useless.” Marinette turned around, wondering what he was talking about. “And yet you managed to tell me about a part of the book that doesn’t exist-”

 Oh…oh no…

”-unless you knew that the book’s information morphs as new wielders appear.” 

This…this was…this was all set up… it was a trap!

“Anyone who studies the grimoire for a bit more than a few months can figure out how the book works.” She tried to playoff.  “As for how I knew, it didn’t take much to figure it out as the pages mentioning older wielders were decorated differently compared to the newer pa-” 

“Two could play at that, Miss Dupin-Cheng....or should I say, Mlle Wayne?” Amira felt her heart stop, Gabriel internally grinning upon seeing her pale face. 

“What…what did you call me?” Was all she could say, Amira feeling her vision starting to narrow, her heart beating loudly in her ears. 

This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good, this wasn’t good!

She felt as her hands began to get clammy, growing warmer by the second. 

She tried to focus on anything else but the rising and falling of her chest, which just quickened with each second she paid attention to it didn’t allow her to breathe. 

“Destiny is a funny thing, Mlle Wayne.” Gabriel started off, deciding to flip onto the next page of the grimoire, deciding to not look up as he already knew he had her where he wanted her. “Everyone believes one can change their fate, but that is never the case. 

Decisions are made, whether one regrets them or not so that one day, the decisions start to have cohesion and start to create a picture. A meaning.

Losing your name, your identity, losing your brother and then your home. 

Even coming to Paris and attending Dupont - it all had its meaning. A purpose.

They all led to the day the grimoire made its way to your hands.” Gabriel looked up to see Amira frozen in place, her eyes quivering as she kept staring at him, her eyes getting glossier by the second. “It was all so that you and I could meet. For you to help me with my goal.”

“Wha-What are you talking about?” Amira asked in hopes of changing the subject, trying her best to keep her voice from shaking. Oh but how her eyes betrayed her, unshed tears pooling at the brim of her eyes. “And how-” 

“Interested, aren’t we?” Gabriel smirked. “Thanks to you confirming my theories of you knowing how to translate the grimoire and its other mysteries, I think I should let you in on a little secret. 

Remember how I stated that your translation helped to correct the mistakes I made on my own? Well, let me read to you one of my corrections.” Amira watched as he scanned the page before him. “Ah yes, a bit further from where I first left off.” 

Alongside sharing a telepathic connection, the butterfly user can perceive anything that their champion perceives, as well as everything the champion hears and feels emotionally. This is due to the miraculous’ acute ability to sense emotions, allowing the miraculous to precisely pinpoint a champion’s true identity so as to not mistakenly give another person the power selected for them.

In other words…” Gabriel trailed, grinning as he watched the child further process the passage he finished reading, watching as she silently watched in horror as an ever familiar glow appeared millimeters away from her face, causing her to let out a whimper. 

“No...it can’t-”

“But it is.” Gabriel said with a smile, snapping his book shut and getting up. “I felt the anger and pain you felt when that girl from school claimed to have known your brother. A brother who has long stopped roaming on this Earth. 

How no one believed you when you told them that girl was lying and you were telling the truth. 

It was I who offered a hand when no one else did. It was me who gave you the power to seek vengeance…Amira.” Gabriel made his way towards Amira, seeing the way the gears were beginning to spin in her head, the way tears began to cascade down her face. Gabriel called out a white butterfly, Amira watching it land gracefully onto his finger.

“You’re...you’re-”

“That’s right, Mlle Wayne.” Amira watched as the man clasped his hands over the white butterfly, a purple miasma abruptly consuming him, watching it glow before it revealed him in a completely different attire. 

Long gone was the white suit, a black one replacing it. His face was now covered by what she mistook for a helmet, black, except for the giant reflective butterfly covering the majority of his face. And in his hand, an akuma, glistening purple lines adorning its small miasmic wings.

So this is what Hawkmoth looked like…so this was the enemy she had perfectly pinpointed towards…the enemy she had allowed to get the better of her…

Thanks to the reflectiveness of his mask, she saw how the glitching glowing butterfly that was mere millimeters away from her face looked on her…how it perfectly framed her eyes. 

How it reminded her of her mistake. 

Of how she failed her team…

Paris…

Her father… 

She watched as the akuma flew away. “I am Hawkmoth and you, my fated pupil, will help me get what I want.

You will help me get Chat Noir and Ladybird’s miraculous, whether you want to or not.

After all, as long as my miraculous continues to remain broken, the link between us will continue.” 

He closed the distance between them, placing a hand on her shoulder. Tears began to fall down the young child’s face as he watched her process everything that has just transpired. “So I suggest you start to cooperate if you want to get rid of it…” He watched as it finally sunk into her, watching as she fell to her knees, one of her hands gripping at her chest. 

He crouched down to try and look at her. “I know this is well overdue, but-” Hawkmoth offered her a hand.

“Welcome to Paris, Mlle Wayne.”

NEXT

[pencakesstuff]

*not me struggling to fit my goofy canvas sizes into the boxes What a year!!!!! I wasn't really super motivated to draw in the beginning of the year, but eventually I managed to regain that love of drawing, which is a miracle, it's really something that I hold near and dear to my heart. I've also noticed a definite shift in my art, from drawing mostly my own characters or friends, to branching out and joining many fandoms that I enjoy. Especially the Locoroco fandom, it's kind of a niche game with a small fanbase, but has lived rent free in my head for my entire life (no joke). It's lovely to see the community grow and become active again and to meet a lot of new friends and awesome people!!! It's also the only reason why I joined social media again lol xD Being in the fandom really helped me improve my style, because I had never really drawn humans before, and even though I despised my gijinkas with all my heart, truly; I kept pushing forward until I finally managed to create designs that I absolutely adored ^v^ Slowly gaining confidence art-wise and socially; and always hoping to become a better person than I was yesterday. You know, when I first created this account I went out of my way to be as "cringy" as possible, constantly using emoticons or emojis or making dumb jokes, just to force myself to learn to be myself unapologetically. Some of this stuff I'm talking about mostly happened last year, but I didn't do a summary last year xD. Anyways, I'm kind of rambling about a lot of random stuff, I think it's about time to close out this message ^^ I'm so happy that I've been able to grow as an artist, and as a person. I've met a lot of lovely people and friends, and I want to say thank-you to all of you!! I hope we can share a lot more fun memories together. Keep being you and do what you love! Cheers for the new year!

[crystaldwightsworld]

I know its been like 2 years since you updated Nerve so sorry if this is annoying!! But i just finished reading chapter 2 yesterday and today i accidentally found your tumblr account?!?! I'm so shocked, I think it was fate haha 😄

So anyway, I found myself thinking about your story for the whole day. I really love your writing style. I couldn't look away from the screen. You perfectly captured Ashley's emotions, I could feel her pain and her hesitancy towards Leon. And Leon... he's so gentle and tactful. He instantly makes you feel safe.

I just wanted to thank you for writing this, I noticed that you seem a bit unsure if your stories are good (you mentioned rewriting it a lot of times 😅) and I just want to tell you that THEY ARE AMAZING!!! You are very talented and I hope you have lots of motivation and inspiration to write more great stories in the future. ❤

No need to apologise, it's far from annoying. Maybe fate, maybe not, I did link to my tumblr on some of the chapters in my fics (actually went back and linked to it on all of them since I realized I hadn't been doing it lol).

It still baffles me that I get so many comments on the story and messages here on tumblr. You're not the first person to message me about it lol. Baffled because... you're right, I don't think it's that good xD. I know Leon x Ashley is far from the popular pairing but that's exactly why I started the story/ies. Not a lot of ppl write for them specifically and not a lot of ppl like Ashley to begin with.

I'm glad you like the story. I took a BIG gamble on that second chapter, speaking from Ashley's POV for most of it and sprinkling in a little bit of Leon's as well. I'm doing my best to keep them in what is in my mind, in character. Is a lot of it made up and merely speculation? Of course it is, we only know so much from lore and the games. I had thought ppl were going to hate it though, POV chatter from a character tends to piss ppl off for some reason...

2 years... yikes lol. Trust me, I'm just as disappointed as the fans of the fic are. The inspiration is there, stories that I'd like to write, one offs, au's, things that I already have started sitting in Docs, it's just finding the motivation. I've kind of lost my flow recently, IDK why. Nerve has some deep and dark subjects present in the story as well so it's a little difficult for me to write about something I've never experienced or have no experience in. It's a miracle if I can go back to the third chapter and manage to whip out a few sentences. Chapter three has been sitting in my Google Docs for quite some time, along with the other chapters or drabbles that I want included in the story. I've said it before but Leon and Ashley is always in the back of my mind, always on my mind in some form or another. Always reminded that I need to get the next chapter out. The new RE4 remake coming has really rekindled my interest, I'm really looking forward to seeing Leon and Ashley again. I'm hoping for more bonding moments, more banter, idle chatter and conversation. I about damn near cried at the second trailer reveal and game play footage. That spark is back, that nervous excitement you get in your tummy that burns (in a good way) with fluttering butterflies... I cannot wait to see them again lol.

I'm not going to guarantee when the next chapter will come out. I really have no idea. I can't write unless I'm feeling it and forcing myself to do it any other time just leaves me sitting there staring dumbfoundedly at the draft, knowing exactly what I want to say but unable to get it out into words on the screen. I guess... we'll see. I'm not giving up on it though, I refuse.

Thank you for taking the time to write to me. I'm very doubtful of myself and the stories so finding messages or comments from peeps that really enjoy the stories really reminds me that I'm too hard on myself.

To keep spirits up, I will reveal something from the fic but as always, it's always subject to change. I try to give out mini drabbles of things I'm for certain I want in the story.

Chapter 3

“Ashley?” He voices his greeting gently from above, hoping that it wouldn’t startle her. Her eyes peel open, finding Agent Kennedy standing over her in the dimly lit room. She acknowledges his being with a forced tiny smile followed by a pained whimper, the cramps from her period giving her hell. The headache had lessened but her head still throbbed, her pelvic region felt heavy with pressure and she kept sweating due to the frequent hot flashes. 

“You’re up early, graham cracker.” He says, the silly nickname making her grin as her tired eyes fall to the wall behind him. “Dumb question but you okay?”

Her throat is dry, feeling as if it would almost cave in on itself. She forces her gaze back up to his but only for a moment to shake her head no, reverting her stare back. 

“No? Do I need to get a hold of Marc?” Leon offers. Again, she shakes her head.

“No talking kind of day, huh?” 

Ashley had had a few of them and Leon had grown used to them. He knew better to bother anyone when all they wanted was to be left alone. He had experienced many days like that himself. She makes a pained expression, teetering on the edges of wince and bothered before shaking her head no again.

She sits up slightly, keeping the hot pack in place as she moves to the middle of the bed. She doesn’t ask and she doesn’t tell but only reaches her hand out for Leon’s, her fingers folding easily into his palm. She pulls for him, motioning for him to take the spot next to her. He smirks but doesn’t take it right away, the caution and hesitancy hard in his gaze. Her tired gaze grants him permission, tugging his arm forward again. He relents, taking the open spot next to her, leaving one leg to hang off the edge.

“Lay.” She mutters in her sleepy drawl and the request takes Leon by surprise.

“You’re being brave today, Ash.” He comments, watching her pat against the sheets to gesture for him to join her. Against his better judgment, he obliges and takes his spot, turning to lay back comfortably, the warmth from where she was radiating through his blazer jacket. 

Was it a good idea? Probably not. She doesn’t say anything though and neither does he, sharing their quiet moment together, the warmth of her beside him and the dim light of the room pulling at sleep strings he much longed to fall back into. He stared up at the ceiling, nothing but the sound of commercials and her breath meeting his ears. It was… nice. Peaceful.

<3

[bzedan]

Ah, July. Not the hottest month (that is August or September), but it is very a Summer Month. June is mostly (and technically is like two thirds?) a Late Spring Month, but in July summer has arrived and they are decked out in sparkles and sweating everywhere triumphantly.

So I wanted songs about water and outer space and agitation between chill summer vibes and snappy summer bops. There's some new music on there, including the single from CRJ's latest, which I ADORE. More neo-disco please! OH also enjoy the best possible cover of Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf," it's jazz. This is very a playlist to half-ignore while lazing about something else, it's all vibes, can be put on shuffle, and some of the songs'll grab ya, but who knows which on which playthrough.

Related media to some of the songs:

Just listening to Masstor's "Self Control" you might not realise that it's being sung by a giant blue orc? monster? guy in the most amazing creature/costume build (he's got so much available movement! it looks like Not A Bitch to get in and out of!), but here's the music video so you can experience the entirety of the vibes.

Janelle Monáe's The Age of Pleasure is such a killer summer album, the vibes in the "Waterslide" music video are fabulous, and please do check out the other videos for this album, it feels like they just rented a sick house for a weekend and knocked all the videos out while cavorting poolside.

Jim Sullivan's U.F.O. is a household favourite, and his story is a sad and semi-mysterious one. It's one of those "you hope it was a miracle... but probably not" situations.

There are multiple Bart Graft tracks on here, big recommend as background music for working, it's dance stuff but often chill. It's all vibes, I love it.

Anyway here's a link to July's playlist on Spotify, with the track list below the cut.

And embedded if you like that sort of thing:

'The Swimming Song' - Loudon Wainwright III  

'Pool Party' - Rudy Willingham  

'Spaceship' - Kesha  

'Give Us the Wind' - Future Islands  

'U.F.O.' - Jim Sullivan  

'Under the Boardwalk' - The Drifters  

'Turn Off the Lights' - LEN  

'The Visitors' - ABBA  

'Shy Boy' - Carly Rae Jepsen  

'Only Love Can Save Us Now' - Kesha  

'Season in Hell' - Dum Dum Girls  

'Self Control' - MASSTOR  

'Kokomo' - The Beach Boys  

'Orinoco Flow (Sail Away) - Single Version' - Enya  

'Good Vibrations' - Brian Wilson  

'Like Whiskey' - Dixon Dallas  

'Is It Cold In The Water?' - SOPHIE  

'Water Slide' - Janelle Monáe  

'Waterpark Inmersion' - El Guincho  

'Under the Water Fountain' - Bart Graft  

'Worship' - Ari Abdul  

'On the Water' - Future Islands  

'Gespaard's Poolside' - Bart Graft  

'Carry On, Turn Me On' - Space  

'As We Go Up, We Go Down' - Guided By Voices  

'Heroes and Villains' - Brian Wilson  

'Sunshine' - Oliver Tree  

'Vitamin C - 2004 Remastered Version' - CAN  

'Beam Me Up' - Midnight Magic  

'If You Love Me - Si Me Quieres' - Tito & Tarantula  

'Happy - Live Acoustic From Space' - Kesha  

'In My Blood' - Vitamin String Quartet  

'Brand New Key' - Melanie  

'Mellow Yellow' - Donovan  

'Hungry Like the Wolf' - Dinah Eastwood  

'I'm in Great Shape / I Wanna Be Around / Workshop' - Brian Wilson

'Let's Go Swimming' - Arthur Russell  

'Grease' - Future Islands  

'Sliver Of Ice' - ANOHNI  

'Temba, Tumba Y Timba' - Los Van Van  

'Motivate Ya (feat. Kelly Price)' - Big Freedia  

'In the Summertime' - Mungo Jerry  

'Underwater' - Sun's Signature  

'Steal My Sunshine' - LEN  

'Good Lookin'' - Dixon Dallas  

'Come For Me' - Sunflower Bean  

'Summer's Cauldron - Remastered 2001' - XTC  

'The Girl from Ipanema' - Astrud Gilberto  

'I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire - From "A Small Light: Episode 3"' - Sharon Van Etten  

'Moon Journey' - Mort Garson  

'The Night Terrors - Saint Etienne Mix' - Matt Berry  

'Under Pressure' - Queen  

'Welcome To My Island' - Caroline Polachek  

'Down By the Sea' - Men At Work  

'One & Only' - Oliver Tree  

[makahimetenshi]

Follow me inside the wastelands -  Chapter 26  -Arthur Maxson x Female Sole Survivor Fanfic

Hello to the ten maybe twenty people who keeps reading this fic 26 chapters later…its funny because I don’t see you in the numbers but I see you when I make an update. Which makes me wonder where the hell are the 60 people of chapter two, maybe in the middle of the road…and it’s a long road

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and comments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive comments of wanting to know what happens next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

The radrain didnt stop until a month and a week later from the latest events, Arthur had a bit of remorse for how things ended up last time…but not that much, he was tired. Know that this situation wasn’t normal but if knocking up somebody would be this problematic better spare himself…

A week after the radrain stop he received another letter, not from Nora, from the Longfellow old man, he was at the entrance of the airport delivering that letter and damn it was a miracle that he remembers who he was to accept it and not shoot at him, thing is that it wasn’t exactly a letter from Nora, but from Maccready, if it was really him of course, he didn’t know his calligraphy to judge if it was really him or not…

“She is at Sanctuary and will be for another pair of weeks if you want to pay a visit”

Cool, thanks for the notice…

He make a ball of the note, playing with it nervous on his hands and swallow saliva…yeah…yeah…lets pay a visit…

A paladin and a few soldiers should be enough, she says to always park the ventibird in the Red Rocket station since it’s the designated place for air vehicles…According with scribe Nereah power armor isn’t necessary for now, strong winds move all the radiation to another side this days so the air and the sky are clean to move freely, that’s what he expect of Nora doing outside too.

So he did, take a paladin and a few soldiers on a ventibird and move there, doubt that anyone but Nora will attack him…if that happens of course… he hopes to be able to take down a pregnant woman in case of anything, never did it before, its not like he wants to do it but…lately he don’t know anything…

At arriving at the station he knew that everybody in Sanctuary will be aware of his presence, so be it, but anyway he told the paladin and the soldiers to stay aside and just watch any weird movement in the settlement, if they hear shootings of course to come and help but nothing more than that, just in case of an emergency scenario.

But even before placing a foot down on the ground he saw at the wooden bridge a patrol of minutemens with…a pregnant lady in a blue vault suit. He swallows saliva and walk towards them. Meeting Nora, looking at her in the eyes avoiding to look at her belly. It wasn’t the only thing he wanted from her of course

At standing one in front of the other he wanted to talk and say anything, not really having something planned, before they didn’t have all this problems to communicate but now he felt like nothing more needs to be said even if there was a lot of talk to be done. But she did first. She talk first- Come on, lets go to my house to talk.

Arthur sighted and relax his shoulders, sometimes they understand the other too well

Of course he didn’t want their private drama to be part of his soldiers and hers but they need protection constantly from their positions.

Walking along her felt good and correct in another time but now it feels…odd…it gives him bad vibes, he hated that, wished everything to be as before but…no…his eyes slip to her rounded belly, his child was there now, and he loved it, this was all worth for him, maybe not easy but yes worth for him. A bad chill press on his spine when he saw the door of her house, the last time he was there maybe…it was when they conceive their child.

Both go inside the house and Nora leaned against the next wall, looking down, hands behind her back.

-Isnt that suit a bit tight?

-Why are you here Arthur? –rude, she always has awful ways to say things

-I suppose you would be here after the rain is over

-Its true, there’s a lot of settlement work to do everywhere, the radstorms leave a lot of damage in people houses…only im not doing it, im giving directions and helping but not much

-Im glad you aren’t…-he stay in silence for a moment, looking at the ground before looking up again- Nora its over –she look at him, not saying anything- you are five months now what do you expect to happen? You are even taking care of yourself, its not like you expect to loose it and free yourself from this –her hands moved to her belly, only to the sides.

-Taking care of it is something that it just felts natural and correct to do…I pass through this before…but I never expect it to happen again less with you.

-When you ask your husband down in the vault 111 about being happy again weren’t you talking about me? –he was quite sad about that

-Yes…and I was right, it did end horribly like with the last person I take down there

-It didn’t end, im not saying anything about an end, I keep looking for you because I don’t want it to end

-You know why im here? Why I still am a brotherhood soldier? –what? That only confuse Arthur- because I killed Danse –what does a thing have to do with the other? Nora sobbed, and look up trying to contain the tears in her eyes to not fall down her cheeks- If Danse would stay alive I would align with the institute just for his sake, but I killed him

-You killed him because I order you, he was synth and an spy…-he didn’t get it.

-No, I didn’t follow your orders, I killed Danse because I was mad I couldn’t convince him to run away with me, I confessed my feelings expecting it would change his mind and he say he can only look at me as a sister, I was mad,  I let a fury consume me and I killed him taking the opportunity because I was so mad to be rejected after wanting him for so long…but not for the good of the Brotherhood…because I resented him –now tears were going down her cheeks, this was the second time Nora talks about killing someone because a fury consume her

So…Danse was the other guy everybody talk about. But they never were a thing.

-What does this have to do with our baby? So much time passed…-well it does feel like shit knowing that your woman has feelings for other person not gonna lie, but it doesn’t matter that much since he is dead a long time now

-If he choose to stay with me I would align with the institute to keep him secured by my side for sure

-With the same son you kill because of the atrocities he made? –this was bullshit, an attempt to make him go away.

-Or the railroad maybe I don’t know im…-she moved her hands to the sides of her head

-Confused, because this has nothing to do with our child, with me…with us…-Arthur step in front of her and place his hands on the sides of her belly, feeling it warm and heavy on his palms.

-I loved him, he was my best friend –Nora was sobbing, and as much her words were a stab on the chest they were discussing something far much important- and I was so mad for so little…I killed him, he didn’t deserve it

-Nora I told you before that you don’t have to be a saint all the time, you have the right to feel and you are pretty aware of it, you feel and do all the time –lets just forget the Danse subject shall we? It hurts him too, remembering your best friend hurts so much

-Don’t you see that I don’t choose the brotherhood? That I didn’t choose you!?  -oh no she wouldn’t pull him away with this- if would choose anything else if he was still alive!

-Bullshit, you look after me for months, what we have is real and you can’t deny it, enough with this nonsense

-I would never choose an hypocrite with tech parts –now he did separate, doing circles on the floor walking almost laughing.

-You are so desperate, have nothing against me, you don’t wanna just admit that there’s absolutely no reason for this drama –she looks ashamed behind all the tears and the red nose.

-No…i…

-Come on, if you didn’t have an abortion until now, when? You want this baby, and don’t have a real problem with me…because I didn’t give you any single reason…ever

-Do you really want someone like me to be the mother of your child? –someone with an unclear goal, who flips sides all the time, who doesn’t like the idea of being a mother again

-This isn’t about me! –Arthur pointed at her with a sarcastic smile, cornering her in her own trap- I don’t get why five months later we keep discussing the same thing but yes! I do! For god sake I do!...-he stay in silence, looking at his sad dog face thinking carefully before talking- listen to me…I been working really hard…this half year…due to the results and achievements we both –he pointed at himself and her- had…I been promoted…

-You are already elder what biggest promotion would you need? –she was confused, still sobbing.

-I been talking and negotiate with other elders in California…contacting them back, they recognize my authority over Lyons…is not just my soldiers, my followers like they used to call them…I don’t have a cult…they recognize mine as a chapter of the brotherhood with no doubt…im no longer on Lyons shadow.

God. Nora close his eyes, its true, Arthur have his own problems too, and never take the time to think on them. Be at his side.

-And? –she moved close to him, taking his hands, feeling awful about never care about him, its true, she place all her drama in his shoulders and never care about his problems, her own hands tremble but this is the minimum she can do about it, even if it was useless and one attempt to feel herself better.

-We can go Nora, we can go away –he look at their hands together.

-I don’t get it.

-We can travel away from the Commonwealth, settle in somewhere else –she shook her head to the sides.

-What?

-You have horrible memories and experiences of this place, this land, lets go away, make new ones, the three of us…

-Can we do that? –Nora was so confused

-Yes! I have everything prepared…im just waiting for you…for our son…

She loose his hands, but Arthur put his on her shoulders, moving her head with his to look into her eyes.

-I…I don’t know…I have so many things here…

-This place only give you suffering the more you are here, lets go away from this memory’s, make some new ones with me and our child

Her breathing accelerates, a lot.

-I don’t think I can

-Nora it’s a chance for us

-But what about the minutemens…

-You can pass the power so someonelse, forget it, you are a sentinel you can work anywhere

-What do you mean

-I want us to be happy together

-I was happy before the baby! –she screamed, pulling away from his grip walking around the house nonononononono

-You weren’t happy before –Arthur follow her.

-Maybe –again, she grabbed the sides of her head.

-We can be all happy together, away from the horrors of the commonwealth

-I don’t know I have so many things to do…-Arthur place his palms in her cheeks, making her look into his blue eyes, she melted into that gaze.

-Im here just waiting for you Nora, I not leaving without you…but we can heal together away from this place

-The wastelands horrors are everywhere…my malnourished slim little kid –oh gosh she remembers

-They are, but together we are stronger…-her eyes fill with tears and Arthur hug her, pulling her against her chest, kissing on her head while she sobbed.

-I have to think of it…-why?- there’s so much im leaving behind

-You made a manual in case of death, what more do you need? Consider yourself dead and come with me, in case you died for any reason somebody else have to take your place anyway…

-Well I prefer you to have my caps ally…-true, logically true

-This door is open for us, only together, you told me a lot of times you wanted to travel away from the Commonwealth, this is not your old home anymore

-I don’t know if I will fit good as a mom no matter the place

-Im also becoming a dad –she look up at him, taking a breath, closing her eyes before hiding her face on her neck

-I have to think on it

Well

She didn’t say no but…that wasn’t a yes…and knowing her…she was saying no for sure. She didn’t want to follow him into the wastelands.

Arthur separate, and place a hand  on her belly, it was the biggest he had seen until now and he believes…it was going to be the biggest he see forever…He feared not seeing her again for some reason stiching in the back of his neck and it didn’t feel like a common fear.

He took a long breath, look up trying to hold the tears, not wanting to take out his hand from there.  He feared not being able to touch there again.

-Nora please

-I just have some things to do…

-I love you –he said out from the heart, but he knew that wouldn’t break her, wouldn’t reach her…

-I love you too

Not really, both stop loving each other with the same intensity as before. And that break Nora and Arthur hearts.

-Does it move? The baby –the question take Nora by surprise- its five month your exams are good you should feel something

-You have no idea –what does that mean? – it hits hard for only being five months…

-You are big –maybe too big for five months only, but he never see a full healthy pregnancy before, always on sick and malnourished womans. Nora put his hands over her belly, pressing them down over the leather of the vault suit

-Maybe too big for any suit

-Don’t worry, I can get as many comfortable clothes you need

-Ill give you an answer later…-that was a no, Arthur give up for today with grief, he move his hands away separating but the second before pulling…he swear he felt something against his palm.

-You know ill be waiting…im not leaving without any of you

-I know…

The elder will leave that day with the feeling on his palm of…something pressing hard against it…and the round sensation of her warm belly.

He took the ventibird at the Red Rocket station with the paladin and the soldiers waiting for him back to the Prydwen, the whole journey he would think on his pregnant woman and his 5 months child moving inside her, really moving. Soldiers can see that the elder was tired, defeated, again, today wasn’t a victory for him, the sentinel was being too rough and difficult to seduce.

That day Arthur decided that if she was going to stay at Sanctuary working unable to convince her, he would infiltrate an spy between the minutemens lines, not for anything more than just watch her and inform about her everyday and well being

He needed to be in some form…present…for her and their son if she didn’t allow it.

But he wouldn’t use a soldier from his own forces, he asked the other elders for an external intelligence soldier to come to the Commonwealth for a secret mission, not because his were unable but they all know Nora and had connections to her, maybe someone loyal to her and her triumphs will snitch on him. I mean if the elder ask you on a mission it was important if course but there may be some friendships or closeness involved since she was such an important soldier from so long, she started from initiate and had a big link…to Danse…one of the most popular and beloved Paladins…even if his name faded in time because his anti-synth campaign did good results.

Maybe it wasn’t moral, but he wanted to know what was up with his family, she didn’t want him close because of her own traumas and honestly he can’t travel everyday and mobilize a group to protect him, he had duties and responsibilities to do. Maybe she had hers to, he wouldn’t deny that, but clearly…their thing was dying, she didn’t want him close. He offer everything.

The only single thing he didn’t offer was to end up the pregnancy, and even if he offer it not only now it was too late he doubted it would improve something.

Maybe the baby really change the things, as it was expected of course it would change things…but he wished for things to get only better and they didn’t. He puts too much confidence in this relationship. It break his heart having this realizations but…It would be foolish to continue complaining after 5 months. That’s it. Its over.

He kick the table in his quarters with a small kick, but still one of the bottles of vodka fell, not spill…looking at the transparent bottle make him realize how much passed since he stopped drinking…before Nora he drink at least one shoot a day, and now this bottle was in the table as decoration mostly since year and half…

Maybe he needed a drink today.

The spy was introduced two weeks later in Sanctuary, as a citizen of the Commonwealth who came to work and live from the radio transmissions.

For an entire month he followed Nora and Maccready from the shadows, giving weekly reports to the elder of this chapter and everything seem…normal…apparently she gives directions and orders only, organizes patrols and logistics. She doesn’t eat in the communal dinners. Wakes up early to do…small labor, like cleaning the streets and moving the cattle, lately they were fencing the surroundings of the “isle” that is Sanctuary.

But she is big, bigger than any pregnant woman that the spy have ever seen for her time, it couldn’t be a thing of prewar genes.

Maccready was around, and specifically says in the report, around enough to not bother and not be noticed. It was almost like he was the spy of Maccready and Maccready was the sentinel spy. The spy suspected that Maccready had a slightly idea of what he was doing here, but not his identity.

Should he warn Maccready? Or it would be too much? Two spys over a single person…

Nah, he didn’t need to know that much.

Two weeks later. Nora ambushed the spy against a wall and put a knife on his neck.

Not using force by any methods, just corner him walking around in one garden, walking at his side was enough for her to push him lightly against a wall and since the spy knew that she was the pregnant mother of elder Maxson child he wouldn’t do anything to defend himself to not causa an accident.

Nora had the card of being the general of this place, almost like Hancock in Goodneighbord, she can do…a lot of questionable stuff that usually would be excused as something she does to protect Sanctuary, so pushing and menacing a settler against a wall…was something nobody would question at all. She had a good enough image so this wouldn’t bother at all.

-Let me go! –say the spy, not actually scared about the knife on his neck, acting to not break character.

-You think I wouldn’t notice eventually an spy in my home? –she said spitting in his face, taking another knife out of…he couldn’t really know where but Nora take lessons from Hancock on how to be a good mayor- so, who send you? I think I was in good terms with the railroad

-Im not an spy!

-Drop the act dumbass, it will make it easy for you

-Please I beg you! –a raider gang maybe? This guy didn’t look that weird

-You know I never had the chance to interrogate someone on court before the bombs dropped…this may be a good practice –she said before giving him a hard punch in the stomach, when the man fell to the ground beated by pain she sat on his back and use both hands and knifes, one under his neck and the other up behind the head. Shit this was no good at all.

-Believe me im not a spy! I swear!

-Not good enough, keep trying

The spy can see from the side of his eyes how people were coming over them, noticing the odd and violent situation happening in the peaceful settlement, damn if more people joined this would be more and more dangerous for him.

-You are making a mistake general!

-Maccready, give me a hand over here, hold his feet

Oh no, not him precisely. Both man exchanged looks and…damn he understand the situation, he understand who he was and what he was doing there.

-If you weren’t pregnant ill already be free! –its true, he can’t harm her, she was carrying the son of the elder, if by any chance she receives any harm that would be his end, better summit and not move a muscle

-You sure buddy? –she asked all cocky

-Just because you are the general doesn’t mean you can do this!

-Nora –Robert call her securing the man ankles, she look at him with a bit of effort due to keeping the concentration on her prey –we need to talk

-What? –she said getting off the spy with her legs to knee in the ground next to him, still with the knifes on his neck, loosing a bit of control cutting slighy the flesh making the spy jump a bit when Maccready come close to whisper on her ear his concerns. Whisper whisper whisper…-that fucker –was that an insult to elder Maxson? That will go in the report –you –Nora call him taking the knifes out and kicking the side of his body while Maccready secured his wrist- come with us

This wasn’t an experience she needs as a pregnant woman, less with the belly at this stage but oh well she can still move good without problem

-Let me go! –scream the spy while Maacready make him stand to walk to Noras house, at getting inside Codsworth understand the situation with the strange man and move besides her to protect his pregnant maam.

-Come on, I said that resisting will do it more difficult for you –the raider talk was something that really entertained Nora

-Again! Im not a spy! –Maacready kick him in the calves making the man curl in pain, the mercenary took the chance to sit him down in a chair, not tying him up, standing behind.

-Hey General –call the mercenary to the woman on the other side on the room- do you still have the Throatslicer? –well that name sound intimidating

-Oh yeah, what a great idea –she said with a bright smile, in the moment she leave the room the handy robot behind her pull out a circular saw, just pull it out but when she came back throw something to Maccready in the air –here you go!- and stand against a wall, placing her hands on her belly

-So –said the mercenary catching a rusted knife, just placing it in his shoulder, securing it the grip with his fingers, letting the blade between his neck and shoulder- are you going to make it easy? For you, specially

-I don’t know what more do you need to convince you im not a spy

His brotherhood training didn’t let him fear a hostage situation but this was taking too long to change, I mean he assumed this was a situation it could happened and for a month he did it pretty well but…she is a sentinel, of course this wouldn’t last too much.

-What is a scar or two? –said the mercenary before strabbing him in the right shoulder by the front, taking by surprise the brotherhood spy who tried to stand from the chair but the mercenary wouldn’t let him, pulling him down again in the chair, stabbing him in the left shoulder now- heres goes the second! –the soldier tried to fight and use his arms to defend himself but the wounds there make his grip all weak

-Let me! Im swear im not a spy! –his voice cracked in pain, still in the other side on the room, Nora was watching

-Robert –she called him, the mercenary close his arms around his neck to avoid him from running away –an ear

-You cant be serious –said the spy taking a breath- im not what you think! –the opens on his shoulders were getting hot from the blood coming out

-Do it –she said as the Mister Handy robot leave her side and move closer with the flamer and the circular saw, to menace him to stay in place as the mercenary pull one of his ears and place a knife in the union between the ear and his head- you can talk you know?

-Please don’t! –ok the acting wasn’t working, she wasn’t softening and he was really doing his best to not drop the image of an innocent settler. When the knife started to cut a bit of skin the spy overventilated and surrender-Ill do it! –like a professional, Maccready stopped but move the knife to his neck again, were there was a bit of blood flowing down too.

-Will you talk? –she said getting closer.

-Yes! –oh no the wounds on his shoulders were really really bleeding

-Alright, but the knife stays there –a sadistic smile appeared on her face, the woman take out 2 syringes, one of med-x and another of stimpack from whoever knows were…-see this buddy? Im giving it to ya when we are done

-Im bleeding –his clothes were all wet and the metallic smell from blood was all over the place

-Don’t worry, I don’t have rugs anymore in this house, too much bloodstains to clean

-So who is your boss? –ask the mercenary moving the knife around

The spy didn’t want to talk at all but…

-The brotherhood…

-Weird you don’t recognize him–said Maccready to Nora.

-Odd to me too, doesn’t act and move like an initiate neither, what are you doing in this side of the commonwealth fella?

He didn’t want to talk at all

-Im sure there’s plenty of interesting places around to sneak your noses more than this old neiberhood –mutter the mercenary into the spy ear

-Not if the sentinel is not around –said the spy, Nora look confused at him.

-Me? Why me?

-I believe is pretty big obvious Nora –when Robert said that Nora give a kick to the air and look at the ground

-let me tell you something –said the woman walking slowly towards him- you can still de your work around –Maccready raise an eyebrow confused, the spy too- yeah…you can stay here…-she said with a smile, the spy swallow saliva at seeing that curve- you can even write this conversation in your report –she wasn’t mentioning the elder at all, but it was implied- in fact I want you to specifically communicate this so listen up –the woman knee in front of him looking at his terrified eyes, it wasn’t easy to keep the composure in front of someone with so many raider vibes- you can watch me, follow me, try to sneak into my secrets…but you will fail, one day I will disappear out of nothing and there will be no sight of me at all, I will be out of your sight so youll have nothing to report at all more than your failure, I swear ill make you fail you mission stupid toy

The man swallow again feeling a void in his stomach.

-You will let me around?

-Yeah, you can still do settlement work, live and eat our food –she stand up, looking big and powerful, menacing- are you a brotherhood soldier or a third party?

-A brotherhood soldier –Nora make a sign with the head to Maccready and the man put the knifes down, lifting him up from the chair as she stands back.

-Never see you before –she said as dropping the med-x an the stimpack to the ground, not breaking them, just letting them fall, one of the syringes having a small crack on the sides spilling the content by little drops- you are lucky I don’t let a brother or a sister down, go away sucker

The spy knee down trying to pick up the syringes before the liquid spills on the ground and loose the chance to heal a bit, his arms and shoulders hurts like hell but he was able to move enough to pick the items, as soon he got them between his fingers doing that regrettable show the mercenary pull the neck of his coat and use the force to take him out of the house as Nora open the door, throwing him outside like a pile of trash, not caring if he crashed against the floor.

Door was smashed in front of the spy face, who take the chance to inject the stimpack and the med-x in his shoulders, feeling the burning of the cuts in his neck still present

Inside the house Nora pull the hairs at the side of her face, having a burnout of stress.

But she will keep her word.

The spy was still around, walking, working, eating, sleeping, defending the settlement, going on patrols searching for problems nearby…she wouldn’t look at him in the eye, others would direct him but there he was, still around, no one was kicking him. Yes, other settlers were suspicious of his attitudes and manners, because of the show, of course if the general menace you with a knife against a wall and then interrogates you in her house you won’t be seen as well as before by other people specially if they loved her so much but…he was still around.

He will write this to the elder in his report, repeat everyword of her, specially the menaces and comments about him. But after that report others followed, others that will look like more like before the discovers the spy, saying that the days were normal, that she was working around and directing things as usual, not talking to him its true but…just like before…her pregnancy look normal, growing everyday a bit more.

Its like she wanted the spy around.

At 7 month, she will stop using the vault suits to change it for dresses, like a Laundered denim dress, surely because she doesn’t fit anymore in other clothes and they were too tight to move around with her gigant belly…and a Old fisherman's hat, not sure why so ugly but it must be to protect from the sun. Something was odd with that pregnancy, she was too big, really big.

But a week later after that…she keep her word…and disappear…the spy lost track of her for two more entire weeks. She vanished in the air. He would ask around to the people or what they acted like his bosses, not only no one wanted to answer much because it wasn’t really their business to get in trouble because the newbie was asking too much but because they didn’t know either.

He wrote the elder about it, about her dissaparence, how she wasn’t around, she wasn’t working on the settlement but apparently didn’t leave because everybody that would be her companion was around. Even Maccready.

She wasn’t dead, there was no movement if that was the case but everything was still so organized and fine that it couldn’t be, she was directing people from somewhereelse.

The spy started to panic and get dessesperate nonononono he loose his objective, he performed horribly in this mission, the spying was a fiasco, the cover up was a mess…and now the sentinel is gone! His discontent was starting to be visible because of how many people he was asking to get more information about the sentinel whereabouts, so visible that the man that almost cut one of his ears approach him one night, with a letter.

-Give this to elder Maxson –was the only thing the mercenary said to him

The spy delivers the letter to the airport with another soldier connections, not wanting to face the elder Maxson at all, arguing that he wanted to return to the settlement to see some new movement happening.

Maxson open the letter with full frustration knowing the situation from previous reports, she was so slippery to any of his plans.

“Nora is doing fine, healthy according to Curies report” said the letter Maccready read “Ill update you about her status but since she is not going out for a while…”going out? So she was underground? Oh his poor brain was trying to extract and read between lines as many information as possible”Changing, but since she is not my woman I will not look at that”Oh he can understand the meaning of that, still, Nora was barely still his woman at this point ”I don’t think she is ready even at this time, if you send some goods…ill deliver them to her “So the mercenary have access to whenever she was “I try to convince her everyday that she doesn’t have to do this alone, I lost my wife and I don’t think any protection is enough for the ones we love, she would do good in have you at her side, a little extra more of protection” is she the only who don’t see how unnecessary this is? Apparently she doesn’t bad mouth of him at all, if this letter was truly written with sincerity of course”Since I don’t have as many time as before ill leave you the details of my payment in the dorso of this letter, as you see and heard im doing fine my part of protecting her” of course, this man was working for his son Duncan “You are going to receive more letters from me, she is at the end stage and you deserve to be informed as well” oh gosh she really was the problem everybody understand him so well “Dunkan wasn’t fond of your offer and I wasn’t fond of leaving him again after being separated, I know you will take care of your son well as I do with mine, anyway, Nora doesn’t know about this letters, doesn’t have a way to, so ill keep informing you how things are going”

Arthur look at the back and there was drawings and instructions of apparently a place to leave the payment in caps secured until he has time to look them again, of course he wouldn’t have time if he has to be around Noras side.

It was useless to keep searching more hidden things in this letter content, it was pretty clear, I mean clean and vague because it doesn’t say much but there was no seconds intentions at least from a man that wasn’t as smart as her, Maccready was just an ignorant mercenary, doesn’t have the capability to write something more deep or do more than just…killing…performing his job…

So…she was…fine…

And changing…

Arthur prepared a package of things she left behind here in the Prydwen, at some point in their relationship she became comfortable enough to bring a few of her most beloved possessions to his quarters thinking it was their forever spot, new and beautiful dresses, clothes of all kind, magazines, books, hair products…she surely needed them since well its difficult to find this odds in the commonwealth.

By making this items go he was…letting an important part of their past together go to…separate…

But she needed them, his son would need clean sheets and blankets too, so he prepared a package to send…

Clothes and underwear for her, towels, infant clothes and a pacifier for their child he asked from the California chapters, clean sheets and blankets, a bottle for babys milk…even if he wanted to hold it feeding his child…he let that thought go away, didn’t need it right now doesn’t know how things are going to develop once the baby is born, he was living day by thay this tortuous situation…wiping sheets, soap, shampoo, purified water cans, cloth diapers for change as underwear for the baby…

Food he supposed she has…wasn’t going to fill space on things she wouldn’t eat…

Meds supply like rags, cotton, alcohol, clean surgery items, pillows, antibiotics…

Arthur was letting some of  her things go away from his quarters with all the pain in the word, hating everysecond, but he do this for his child, now his child was the most important thing in the world. If the zeppelin by some reason exploded, he would run away to look after his child immediately.

The package will be delivered to Sanctuary directly…and hopefully if Maccready gives the goods to Nora, his spy will be able to locate her again. Hopefully.

A last pair of gifts for Nora were placed in the package, this feels like a coffin to their relationship, but she was the mother of his child and she would surely appreciate it, she was giving him something important, something she apparently never wanted but…do it for him. As she said, this was her solution.

At vault 111 Nora open the package that Maccready and Preston sneak in secret in the middle of a cold night with guards around securing the perimeter, knowing there was spys of the brotherhood nearby, being the most careful as possible to not snitch the general secret private quarters in Sanctuary…this will be her private spot for the last days of the pregnancy. She secured herself with Codsworth and Curie as her only company, but if Maccready and Preston were careful…they can be around sometimes, a few, maybe once a week.

Inside the package there was a box with supply’s and…it was surrounded by bloomed roses, open, bright red with a with a beautiful aroma of roses that enveloped Nora as soon as she opened the package seeing that spectacle took her breath away but the fresh watermelon that was among the provisions made her eyes water.

Gosh she never wanted things to end this way.

[juliebgamez]

~Facing Justice~

Inspired by Suga’s D-Day tour

Summary: After a tragic accident Angel experience when she was 13 she lost all motivation as to what she was living for in life. Until she met Yoongi, Yoongi is not like everyone else in the small town they both live in. Yoongi has a bad reputation around there school but people don’t know the true reason behind it. Angel doesn’t believe students gossip about him but she never had the guts to actually talk to him until something pulls them in both of there directions to meet. Read more to find out both of Angel and Yoongi’s trauma, unfolding secrets, and a unexpected romance between the two of them?

Pairing: Original character x Yoongi

Genre: Angst, smut, hurt/comfort, romance, thriller, series

Rating: M, 18+

Warning: There will be mentions of depression/ dark shit, death, anxiety, and violence.

Music To Play: Suga’s songs/any depressing songs to go with the vibe.

A/N: This is my first fanfic post on Tumblr so this is the third time I have changed this post since I posted it lol. I hope you like the first chapter! If it gets a lot of likes then I will post another chapter soon. Also if you want to check out my Wattpad account Kpop_Lovers222 I have posted another Kpop fanfic called ~A Change She Was Looking For~. Okay, now enjoy!

Chapter 1

Life. Simple word really. However if you observe it more it creates a whole definition in your head. For some people life means it���s a game to them. They keep playing until they reach there ending while others think life is fucking sad and depressing as shit and they don’t want to continue this game of “life” any further. I’m one of those people who thinks that way. I think about not waking up so I don’t have to live another dreadful day and yet I still choose to get up and suffer anyways. It’s sad really, I don’t know how people think life is great every single day. How lucky were they really to be given such a great path for life? I think about this every morning on my way to school. As I walk closer to the school you can tell that I don’t want to be there and yet I choose to go to somehow try to blend myself into society like everyone seems to do so easily.

Once I enter the building I go straight into the library. It’s the only place no one goes in the mornings, it’s my safe place until I have to suffer the bullies again or as I call them the fuckers. Why do I have to be a easy target for them to fuck with me? Go and find a nerd or something to bully. At least they know what they live for in life other than myself. Oh right I guess I should tell you my name. My name is Angel and this is my view on life. 

You know it’s pretty ironic how my parents named me Angel. They say I’m a miracle, I say that I’m a misfortune. My parents passed away from one of the most terrible storms in South Korea when I was 13. After their passing I have changed so much. I’m 17 and I’m no longer happy about life anymore. They were the only thing that kept me going in life since both of my parents' families abandoned them when I was little. The three of us kept each other going, now they were taken away from me. All in the snaps of life’s fingers, they're gone in a second. Now I live by myself in our tiny home, trying to live a normal life for them and making everything seem okay on the outside. However, on the inside I’m dying. It feels like my heart can stop breathing anytime it wants to but it just keeps beating as normal.

Anyhow I was talking about the fuckers. These boys are really making my life more miserable than it needs to be. I don’t know why I’m putting up with them. They keep saying if I don’t listen to them they would kill me so I should tell them to do it, it would make it more simple for me to die. Somehow however every time they tell me that I would open my mouth but the words don’t come out of my mouth. I still want to keep fighting to live for my parents but it gets more difficult every single day as I’m trying to. Suddenly the bell rings taking me out of my thoughts. I quickly get up and head out of the library to my first class.

Now it's third period. Somehow I’m managing through the first half of the day.

???: “Alright everyone today, what we are going to be doing for our next project is something to bring more awareness for mental health this month.”

Angel: “How joyful.” I thought.

Mrs. Inzinga takes a couple sips from her water bottle and continues.

Mrs. Inzinga: “So what everyone is going to do is to choose a style of writing you want to do and you're going to write in that style to spread the message of why people should be more aware of mental health.” she explains.

She looks around the room.

Mrs. Inzinga: “Now I know this topic is very sensitive but I feel it’s important from a writer's perspective to spread more awareness to the world about this issue. If anyone has any problems about doing this assignment you can come and speak to me privately. However, does anyone have any questions for me about this assignment?”

I look around the room. Some kids were shaking their heads except for one, he had his hand raised up high for everyone to see. Mrs. Inzinga turns to his direction and smiles lightly.

Mrs. Inzinga: “Yes Cameron?”

Cameron: “Wasn’t this assignment supposed to be poetry based?”

Mrs. Inzinga: “It originally was but I changed it because I want everyone to have more creative freedom for this assignment.”

Cameron: “Thank God because I hate doing poetry. It’s so dumb to write about.”

Cameron, he is the supposedly “leader” of his group that bullies me all the damn time. I hate how he thinks poetry is dumb. Poetry is just one option of a writing style. Now mind you I don’t necessarily love to write poetry but at least I have an understanding of why poetry is effective to people. I don’t know why this got under my nerves so much but I decided to speak up about this.

Angel: “I don’t think it’s dumb.” I told him.

Everyone turned to me even Mrs. Inzinga. The whole class knows I keep to myself and prefer to not speak so this took them by surprise. Cameron scoffed.

Cameron: “Wow look who is speaking?”

Angel: “Wow look who has opinions?”

The whole class oo’s to my smart comment. Cameron looks off to the side and smiles a little. He turns back to me.

Cameron: “I would have you know my opinions are always right so I wouldn’t even try to start an argument right now.”

Angel: “So you think your opinion of poems being dumb is right?”

Cameron: “Correct.”

Angel: “Well it’s not.”

Cameron: “Alright, explain it to me then.”

Angel: “Poetry is a style of writing. People don't necessarily have to love it but should come to an understanding how poetry is an effective writing style for other people who love writing poetry or just love writing in general.”

Cameron: “Pfff please you don’t have the creative freedom for poetry. You always have to rhythm whenever you have to write poetry.”

Angel: “Not true, you can have a lot of freedom for poetry. There are many different styles you could do for poetry. One of the styles I personally love is freestyle poetry. You can write whatever you want to write about.”

Cameron: “Why would you want to do that?”

Angel: “To express more of your creative flow and also it’s a way to express your feelings.”

Cameron: “Nah that’s dumb.”

Angel: “What, feelings? Don’t you have any of those?”

Cameron: “I do, what’s your point?”

I sigh and was about to speak until,

???: “Her point is to just shut the fuck up and validate people’s feelings and opinions, got it?”

We all turn to him. Min Yoongi. He only speaks every once in a while in this class. Apparently he has a bad reputation I’ve been hearing around school. I don’t think he does, I think people are just making up more bullshit rumors for people to believe it. I remember the one time I saw him doing his “worst” but he was just standing up to these guys that were giving a new staff member trouble around the school. I wish I have the guts to do that but I don’t. That’s why I give him my respect and think he is not the bad guy. After the bullies ran away I remember Yoongi looking at me. He gave me a death stare but I just stared back at him, trying to pass the message with my eyes that what he did was awesome. I think he got my message because his eyes softened. He looks off to the side a little, looks back at me, and then he walks away from the direction I came from. I watched him walk away. I could see through his stride he has a lot of confidence and to not mess with him. I smiled a little and then start walking to the library. That was the first time I ever smiled since my parent’s passing.

Cameron's smirky smile quickly disappeared and the room fell into silence. It was unsettling to me, I quickly fix my hood to try to hide my face from everyone in the room.

Mrs. Inzinga: “Thank you Yoongi but please don’t swear.”

Yoongi: “Yes Mrs. Inzinga.”

Mrs. Inzinga: “Thank you, and Angel,”

I look up to Mrs. Inzinga a little bit.

Mrs. Inzinga: “You made really great points.”

She smiles and I just give her a simple nod back.

Mrs. Inzinga: “Alright moving on, let’s start on the project now.”

I look at Yoongi, I felt his stare from the back of the classroom. He winks at me and then gets out his laptop. I internally smile and get out my laptop as well.

Few periods later it’s lunch, the worst period I dread every day of the school week. I have to deal with Cameron and his friends bullying me. I always hide in different places during this period but they always find me. I quickly zoom through the commons, passing the lunchroom hoping I can hide in the girl’s locker rooms. On my way there within a blink of my eyes they are right in front of me. Cameron roughly grabs me by the shoulders and slams my back against the wall. I groan in pain from the impact.

Cameron: “Well, well, well if it isn’t the mute girl who actually spoke up for once.”

I was still groaning from the pain.

Cameron: “And you choose to speak up to me.”

He scoffs.

Cameron: “Rookie mistake mute girl.”

He pushed me more into the wall in order for me to look at him.

Cameron: “Oh now you're not going to speak up now?”

I’m tired of dealing with Cameron and his crew. All I want is for Yoongi to show up and fight them right now so I could make my escape.

Cameron: “Maybe she doesn’t want to talk because there’s people around?”

He scoffs.

Cameron: “Okay listen here mute girl. You will meet us afterschool by the front of the school if you don’t show up,”

He goes up to my ear.

Cameron: “You will regret it.” he whispers.

He backs away. I just nod my head automatically. He smiles.

Cameron: “Good.”

He lets go of my shoulders.

Cameron: “Let’s go boys.”

Cameron and his friends start walking away from me. Once they were in a good distance I bolted into the girl’s locker room. I just hid in their for the rest of lunch.

School was over and I didn’t want to meet Cameron and his friends after school. I made her I got out school quickly but sneakily. When I couldn’t see the school in the distance anymore I took a sigh of relief. I made sure my hood was securely on and I continue my depressing walk home. I was about six minutes away from my house at this point. I kept walking, minding my own busy until someone quickly grabbed arm and pulled me into the alleyway I pass by. I scream a little.

Cameron: “Don’t worry mute girl it’s just us.”

I took a second to process.

Angel: “Why the fuck are you here?! Leave me alone!” I thought to myself.

Cameron smirks.

Cameron: “I warned you mute girl. You didn’t show up like you should have. Now we must give you a punishment.”

Cameron came closer to me and started to kiss my neck. My eyes widened.

Angel: “No.” I mumbled.

Cameron stops and looks at me.

Cameron: “I’m sorry what did you say?”

I took a deep breath.

Angel: “I said no.” I told him sternly.

Cameron laughs a little.

Cameron: “Oh sweetheart, that’s not option now.”

Cameron started kissing me again but going more rougher on my neck.

Angel: “Stop!” I yelled.

His friends came over and started to put there hands around me as well. They were kissing and touching me all over. As I kept struggling they would start beating me up. They punch me all over my body, aggressively. Then Cameron punches me in my left eye. I went silent, trying to process this new experience in pain. I freeze in place like a statue, they lay me down on the ground and started to punching, kicking, and kissing me again. At this moment I thought,

Angel: “This is it. This is where I die, I wanted to die the moment I found out my parents died but I never thought it would actually be this soon. I don’t think I’m actually ready to die. I want to keep living for my parents but it’s so difficult to keep going. Mom, dad, if you can hear me, please help me get out of this situation and I’m sorry. For everything.”

I slowly close my eyes. I couldn’t do anything at this moment. I open my eyes again when I felt hands around my head. I look and it was Cameron. He was about to smash my head into the pavement. My eyes widen with fear.

Angel: “No!” I thought.

Cameron smiles at me. I can see the evilness in his eyes. He raises my head and then suddenly.

???: “Yo.”

Cameron turns and the guy punches him square in the face. Cameron falls hard to the ground, when I look up I saw him. It’s Yoongi.

[healerelowen]

Ok... I want some hurt/comfort for Grimora x Reader (Platonic by the way this Scrybe is like a Grandmother to me). I haven't really been doing well mentally schools not been the best. If you have the time I was wondering if you could write some hurt/comfort for me? Thank you for reading this. Have a great day/night.

Hello Hello! Thank you for your request! 

I’m sorry that school and stress has been a lot for you recently, it’s always a pain to deal with. The good thing is that I’m certain that you’re more than capable of getting through it! 

Hell, probably take that stress and turn it into a fuel for that fire that keeps you motivated! Out beat the stress! Show the stress of who's boss! Anyways, I hope you enjoy and have a good rest of your day/night!

Grimora Stress Comfort(Platonic)

Hearing you being stressed and mentally unwell practically made Grimora’s heart break. The thought of someone that’s like a grandchild to her was enough to bring her distress. 

It’s always unfortunate to be put in an inevitable scenario like that.

Grimora is the best to go to in terms of comfort for anything, stress included. That being said, Grimora is basically going to be in Grandma mode when it comes to comforting you. 

Making you cookies, making you tea, allowing you to vent to her, telling you stories to hopefully keep your mind off your worries, giving you the best hugs ever.   

If you ever needed help with your schoolwork, she’s more than happy to help! I could imagine she’s one of those miracle teachers that make everything make sense even if it didn’t like two seconds ago. 

Although, you most certainly need a break from schoolwork if it’s making you stressed. With that, she’s going to have you do other activities either on your own or with her if you so desire. 

Whether that’s taking a stroll through the graveyard with her, talking to each other, or her tucking you into bed for a nap, it’s all up to you to decide. 

So long as her grandchild figure is safe and comforted, that’s all she cares about. You being okay to a certain degree. 

Grandma Grimora is best Grimora and she’s always willing to comfort anyone and everyone who enters her crypt! Especially her (most likely unofficially) adopted grandchild!

[scrumpledorph-writes]

Koben’s Recruitment (A New Life)

I

Five O’clock. Up before the sun, into the mines just as it’s coming up over the mountains, out just as it’s going down. Maybe some day I’ll get to see the whole thing. Wish I could remember it from before I was old enough to work, but oh well. Synth-sunlamps handle my nutrient needs anyway, that’s what they always tell us.

Meal paste tastes like nothing again. Hard to stay above the flavor syrup threshold working by myself, but mom and dad’ll bounce back in a few days. Just a bit too much dust in the system. Their coughs have been getting stronger, they’ll flush it out and be ready to get back to it. I know how much they hate leaving me alone in there. ‘I’m heading out. You two keep gathering up your strength, alright? I love you.’ No response. They know. They’ll be fine.

I wish they could get that blue stuff for it though. Dad said that one time when the cart rolled over his arm and took it off they just put him in a cast with some blue goo holding the arm together, and he was back to normal in time for the evening half of his shift. The medics said a cough wasn’t an emergency at first, and now they say it’s only for good earners.

‘Hey Tarani, you’re running late! Get in the hole!’ Greel-gneek must be having a bad day, his thumb’s already on the switch of his shock whip and I didn’t even talk back. Looks too busy to use it though, the guards have something to say to him. Wonder why their outfits look different today? Not my problem. Better get down the shaft.

Another one of those new guards, ripping down the old posters. They don’t usually come into the mine, but he’s doing good work at least. Never liked that smug old asshole with the fancy sword staring at me all day, hope they put up something nice. Flashier picture, with no words. Don’t know why they bother with words on the motivational posters, not like there’s any time to learn what they say. ‘Hey kid, quit staring, don’t you have work to do?’ Guess they’re not that different from the old ones.

Work is work, same as every other day. Crack open the rock, put the crystals in the cart, scan for more crystals. Do that for seven hours, get some food paste, do it for seven more hours. Easy. I can do this. I do this every day, because when I don’t the foreman comes around and scorches up the place with his whip. I can do this every day for the rest of my life because the Republic couldn’t survive without it.

II

‘I’m home!’ Worn out, like always, but at least I can enjoy a meal with them. Usually I can see the lamp on from the window, but all the coughing must have given them a migraine. That’s fine, we can eat in the dark. Resting in bed, that’s good. I’ll bring them their paste. They’re not moving.

They’re cold. They didn’t get better. They’re dead. I’m crying. I’m crying and screaming until my throat is too dry to make words, and now I’m knelt over coughing on the floor. The miner from the next hut over is in the doorway. Never had time to learn her name.

She’s gone, and now the emergency alarms are blaring. Guards pointing blasters through the doorway on high alert, guards sighing in relief that it’s just a couple dead workers, guards stepping around me without a word, guards dragging my parents away. They didn’t even call a medic, bring them out on a stretcher. Too dehydrated for any more tears right now. At least I’ll have their ashes by the end of my next shift.

A faint buzzing coming from the doorway. Oh, she’s back, it was a question. ‘I didn’t hear you.’ ‘Do you want to stay at our place tonight? They said you’ll have to move out or let another family move in. I figured since we’re neighbors, well, you know.’ I don’t. I don’t know anything about her or anything at all right now. ‘Okay.’

Can’t sleep. Too sad. Too angry. They were always good earners. They worked as hard as they could, and then when they got sick from the crystal dust they got left to die. There’s a miracle goo, why couldn’t they just give my parents a little bit of it? It doesn’t even make sense. They weren’t that old, not even forty, they had plenty of good years left to work.

Is this a punishment, are my parents criminals? Is there a law that you get punished for whatever crimes your parents did, and that’s why I have to work here too? Now that they’re dead am I gonna have to finish working off their sentences? If I don’t finish it before I die, will my kid need to work off mine on top of theirs?

Do they just hate us? Is this all a cruel sick joke being played for fun, and they’re laughing? That’s the only thing that makes sense. The Republic has droids, smart ones, they show them fighting on the holovids. If they can fight in the wars, they could do this too! Droids don’t need to breathe, the dust wouldn’t even hurt them! They could work longer hours without even needing a break in the middle, just run them a power cable and they wouldn’t even need to leave the mines! There’s just no reason for us to be the ones doing all this unless it’s a joke.

Oh. It’s morning. Get up, eat my meal paste – these people have a little flavoring in theirs, that’s nice – go to the mine. There’s Greel-gneek, that fucking piece of shit bastard. He’s the one who worked them, he’s the one who terrorized us with the whip whenever we fell behind, he’s the one who told me they couldn’t get the goop – both times; I hate his guts. ‘Hey Tarani, I’m sorry to hear about your parents.’ That’s it.

He’s sorry? He thinks he knows what it means to be sorry? I’m gonna teach him, right now. If this is all a cruel sick joke and he gets to go back to his administrator house with the private water shower he can use whenever he wants and the real food to eat and the mattress made with real feathers instead of the compressed slabs we get – if this whole place is the setup to one long joke then I’m at least going to get a laugh in.

The pickaxe is as sharp as always. These things get a lot better care than we do, and take off peoples’ toes with one wrong swing. It should do the job.

Look him in the eye as I start running. He’s reaching for the whip. It’s on my skin, wrapped itself around my shoulder a few times. The pain of the shock’s supposed to be a deterrent, but right now while the tip sears my right cheek all I feel is alive. He’s caught on that it’s not working, and his hands are over his face for protection. Bones crack easier than rocks.

He’s screaming for the guards, all the blustering and threats have melted away. It takes just enough time to pull the pick back that he can adjust what’s left of his arms, but he’ll run out eventually. His viscera splattered enough to short out the whip, so now I can really bring it down properly. One last hit, clean through both arms – and I can feel the stone underneath. One more to be sure, a second for mom, a third for dad, and this last one just because he can’t stop me any more. There. ‘Stand up slowly, and put your hands behind your head.’

Four guards. I’ve never seen more than two called to handle a miner – I guess nobody’s ever done this before. They’re all pointing blasters at me, they want me to go back in the mine. Closing the distance, getting out the shackles. I’m not going back. They can kill me if they want, at least I lasted longer than Greel.

Pickaxe is still sharp, maybe if I’m lucky it’ll go through their suits. Backed up against the wall, everybody else is just watching. Nowhere to go but straight at them, time to hope for the best.

III

Ow. Sore, but not dead. I always figured their blasters killed you, but I guess they’d want to be able to put people back to work after they settle down. This place doesn’t look like anywhere in the mine though – it’s totally metal, not just the cell door, and I can almost see my reflection in the walls. Automatic doors too, fancy. This guy doesn’t look like a mine boss, or one of those off world bosses that used to come by every year. Wearing a lot more black, and his moustache is too short and pointy.

‘You’re awake boy, good. I hear you assaulted a mine foreman.’ ‘Killed him.’ ‘I was getting to that part. That’s a capital offense you know.’ ‘I don’t.’ ‘You don’t what?’ ‘Know what that means.’ ‘Ah, yes, I forget the educational standards of the labour colonies at times.’ ‘You making fun of me?’ ‘No no boy, allow me to rephrase: you’re to be executed.’ ‘Oh.’

I guess that makes sense. Gotta set an example for the rest of them, no different than when the miners try to go on strike and get whipped so bad they can barely stand after. ‘You don’t sound very concerned for your life.’ ‘Better than going back to the mine. How they gonna do it anyway?’ Guess this guy must not deal with miners often, he looks shaken up. ‘You’ll be brought before an imperial firing squad and shot.’ ‘That sounds fine, when’s it gonna happen?’ What’s he getting so mad about? I’m the one who’s gonna get killed.

‘Hold on a minute and let me speak, boy! If that were the end of it I wouldn’t even be here, but there were other details of your incident that were noteworthy.’ ‘Like what?’ ‘You carried out this assault while being electrocuted with a shock whip for well over a minute. An impressive accomplishment for most grown men – for a child to perform such a feat is truly unthinkable.’ ‘I’m grown.’ ‘According to the record you’re fifteen, that’s still firmly a child.’ ‘I was just too mad to feel it, that’s all.’ ‘I assure you, most men are brought low by shock whips no matter how angry they may feel in the moment.’

‘Guess they don’t have much to be mad about. My parents just died, and he killed ‘em. Now him and I are even, so dying’s not so bad.’ ‘That’s quite a serene philosophy for a boy your age, but also a wasteful one. Might I propose an alternative?’ ‘Sure.’

‘How would you feel about joining the Stormtrooper Academy?’ ‘That the soldiers, go out and fight the wars?’ ‘The very same. Your remarkable pain threshold and drive caught my attention during the incident report. I felt it would be a shame to waste such natural gifts.’ ‘Forget it, I ain’t fighting for the Republic.’

‘The Republic?’ What, is this guy stupid? ‘Them bastards run the mine, and if I ever meet that smug asshole with the fancy sword they put on the posters I’ll be right back here in jail.’ ‘My dear boy, I have wonderful news for you: the Republic is gone!’ ‘Since when?’ ‘It’s only been a few months, but the Republic has been swept away and in its place has formed a mighty Empire!’ Well that’s good news I guess.

‘They still run the mine?’ ‘The Empire has taken de facto control of every territory the Republic controlled, so yes, but we are in a transitory period! Under the Emperor’s leadership we will usher in a new age, where humans no longer live and die in toil!’ This guy sure is excited about this Emperor. Guess it makes sense a guy with all that in mind would want to take down the Republic. He sounds alright.

‘What’s being a soldier like?’ ‘You won’t be a soldier right away, you will first receive a comprehensive education: reading, writing, arithmetic – alongside studying the trade of warfare. When you come of age, eighteen years old in case you are unaware, only then will you find yourself called to serve.’ ‘Uh huh. But what’s that gonna be like? If it’s anything like the mine you might as well get that execution over with now.’

‘I promise you dear boy it will be far better than the mines. Shorter hours, better accommodations, real food – an improvement in every way.’ ‘That sounds alright then. Sure.’ ‘Wonderful, I will just need your signature here.’ Real funny. ‘You know I can’t write.’ ‘Ah, yes, of course, my apologies. An X will suffice. I will serve as witness to its veracity.’ This guy sure likes using big words, but fine.

‘Can I ask for one thing?’ ‘You’ve already been granted a generous boon, but I take you for a boy of humble demands. Make your request.’ ‘Before we head out, could I go pick up my parent’s ashes? I know the mine bosses are probably pretty mad at me, but I figure if you guys own the place you can tell ‘em to hand ‘em over.’ Least I could do for mom and dad is keep ‘em around so they can watch me be the first Tarani to make it off world. ‘Before we head out? I had you loaded into my ship and departed immediately. You were unconscious for twelve hours, we’re already a system and a half away.’ Oh.

‘Could you leave me alone for a while?’ ‘We’re on a tight schedule, but I can take my supper and return in an hour.’ Already getting choked up, just nod and keep it in until he’s gone. Crying’s fine, but never do it in front of a boss.

IV

The Empire sure loves making people fill out forms. Maybe that’s just a part of being a soldier they don’t put in the holovids, probably nobody would enlist if they did. This secretary’s real pretty though. ‘Alright, you’re registered in the system, cadet. Just follow the signs down the hallway to the medical center for a bacta sweep.’ She smiles nice.

This place is big. Really big. I used to think the mine offices having two floors was impressive, but I guess they don’t have to worry about people jumping off the roof with it being so nice. Easy to get lost though, all kind of looks the same. Hate to wander after they told me where to go, but I’ve almost gotta. Think I’m nearly there.

‘Hey there. I’m here for whatever a “bacta sweep” is.’ Never seen a droid doctor before, hope it knows what it’s doing. ‘Affirmative, please stand on the platform for a scan.’ ‘What’s that for?’ ‘Identifying medical aberrations within your body so the bacta can be programmed and your physiology can be corrected to baseline.’ ‘That means you’re gonna make me healthy, right?’ ‘Affirmative.’ That blue goop! Guess that’s what bacta is. Never seen so much of it, they said it was worth more than the crystals we were mining. This Emperor must take really good care of his people if he gives them so much of this stuff.

‘Scan complete. Stunted growth, developmental complications attributed to malnutrition, minor lung damage, second degree burns to the flesh of the right shoulder and face. Please standby for tank calibration.’ ‘Bacta doesn’t leave scars, right?’ ‘Affirmative.’ Scars look tough, and since I don’t have nothing else I could use a keepsake from home. ‘Could you leave the burn on my face? I’d like it to scar up natural.’ ‘Query: what purpose would such action serve? Bacta consumption of such injuries is negligible.’ ‘I want a reminder of killing that son of a bitch.’ ‘Psychological value noted. Calculating. Scarring predicted to heal functionally, no loss of combat prowess incurred. Request accepted. Standby for adhesive patch, please apply to area to be excluded before submerging.’

Hurts like hell putting that thing on burnt skin, but it’ll be worth it. ‘So how’s this stuff work? My dad just got it smeared on his arm and it was enough to glue it back together.’ ‘Topical application sufficient for localized injuries; you possess chronic medical deficiencies that require redress.’ Why do droids have to talk so big? ‘Complete bodily immersion will be necessary for a period of twenty four hours. The bacta will permeate your deep tissue and correct your bodily development to within acceptable parameters for a soldier. I will append to your file that this process will require additional caloric intake for up to six months as the body actuates the process.’ ‘Could you say that again with smaller words? All I got was that it’ll take a day and then something else might take half a year.’ Real glad droids aren’t made to be judgy.

‘Initializing informal lexicon, engaging childcare subroutines—starting over. You’re small for your age from being overworked, your muscles and bones are weak because you weren’t fed enough, you can’t breathe properly because there’s dust in your lungs, and you’re burnt up pretty good from that scuffle you got into. None of that’s your fault, and the bacta’ll fix it all up for ya, but you need to float in that tank for a day so it can soak deep into you, okay?’

It sounds just like my dad used to when it was time for a checkup. Can’t believe I’m crying into a droid nurse’s chest, but I’m pretty sure they don’t gossip. It even runs hot enough to give a warm hug. If they’re kind enough to make droids that can be nice to orphans, I hope this Empire lasts forever. It could use better hands for tussling hair though.

‘There there, it’s alright kiddo. I’ll give you a little shot to make you sleepy first – you’ll hardly notice it happening; it’ll just be a nice warm floaty feeling. The tank’ll be covered too, so you won’t have to worry about anybody seeing you naked in there. Once that’s done, your body will need time to carry out the bacta’s instructions – you’ll get bigger and stronger, but you’ll need to eat more than usual. This should be done within six months. Did that clear everything up?’

‘Yeah, thank you. I still don’t really get how it all works, but being normal sized and not wheezing sounds nice. Could ya keep talking like this? It’s a lot easier to understand, and-’ Choking up too much to talk, but it’s smart, it knows what I mean. No clue why they make the droids talk that other way. ‘Sure thing kiddo, I getcha. When you’re ready I’ll need you to strip down for me – I’ll fold up your clothes in a neat little pile, don’t worry – then I’ll put the needle in. It might hurt a little, but after you step into the tank I’ll start the drugs. Once they kick in, I’ll handle everything else while you relax, okay? But we can keep hugging for a few more minutes if you like.’

I’m good now. Just had to get that out of my system I guess. Hadn’t taken the chance to do that with either of them in a long while. Clothes off, needle in, feeling...good. It’s giving me a funny little mask, and now the goop’s pouring in. It’s waving to me as the tank doors close, but I’m too floaty to wave back right now. It knows I would, it’s really nice. ‘Dis~~~~~~ng c~~ld~~re su~~~~~ines’ Hard to hear it, but I’m sure it’s fine. Time to have a good sleep.

[themaraudershavethephonebox]

I've seen alot of chatter around here recently about people who are newer to the fandom who refuse to read unfinished fics, and are quite vocal about it by the sounds of it. And it makes me so. damn. sad.

Firstly because, as someone who publishes their writing, I know that the hardest thing to stick to (especially now that we seem to have passed the height of activity within the community) is a multichapter longfic, or even just multichapter fics in general. Yes, it's a labour of love and we don't explicitly do it for the kudos or the comments, but those kudos and comments - that encouragement goes SUCH a long way. I've seen more posts and comments in the last week than I can count on one hand saying they wouldn't have had the motivation to finish their next chapter so quickly or even pick back up after years of hiatus if it weren't for the comment or two that they had on their work, praising and encouraging them!

But also, if you're not reading unfinished work you are missing out on so! much! great! writing! Yeah, it kinda sucks when you read something amazing only to find out it's been abandoned (we know, some of us are still lowkey hoping for a miracle TLAT update), but sometimes life gets in the way and that's just how it works. It might not be ideal but you still got to behold the art someone put out into the world and that's wonderful! I think you'll also find that alot of old (I'm talking pre 2018) fics have been abandoned, but the content and the writing is extraordinary and to experience it is still a pleasure!

Anyways TLDR - Read unfinished, abandoned, and in progress fics - COMMENT on them even if they haven't been updated in a while - we still see them. And ENJOY THE ART THAT'S WHAT IT'S THERE FOR.

[thefortunatefrugal]

what does it mean to be a truly empowered person?

individual; for oneself, not others — not for their recognition, attention, not to control or overpower them, not having anything to do with living for them at all.

and if for them— not to gain but to give, to inspire, to share, to uplift.

this is the contradiction to selfishness, conceit, arrogance, cockiness.

yes, to be self-centered, whole, focused, at peace.

do you wonder how to arrive here?

this is what I hope to teach, guide, stimulate, motivate, encourage, influence, and offer.

perhaps one of my many sought after fulfillments, dreams, desires, aspirations, and passions —

to pour into others, you must fill your own bowl until it overflows.

if what you seek is what I am, what I have — know that I have and am nothing.

if peace is what you need — be aware and beware— the journey is long and requires dedication, acceptance, determination, and commitment to yourself before all others.

you must let go, over and over and over and over again, of the world, and over and over and over again, tie your soul to God—lock and dead bolt it. default your heart, and hands, eyes and mind on Him in every step and every season.

every lack, every dissatisfaction, each disappointment, and every acknowledged disservice done is for a reason.

blame no one, except yourself. you may blame yourself. it is good to remorse, and make “mistakes”. it is beneficial to feel guilt, but only in order to repent and change. don’t sit yourself in anger, shame, or sorrow, for you will be punished anyways. there is always a lesson and correction to be made. forgive and forget your missteps and misjudgments. let go and let God. let Him love you into newness through your surrender into better. don’t forget — God gives graciously and takes mercifully.

He sacrificed His only Son to teach us that he forgives— how we are capable of His and our own forgiveness. how we must offer the same to all others totally, fully, completely, absolutely, and entirely.

love, learn, and let go. return to yourself. sit and gaze upon the sky, you are not without and never alone. you have you. you have Him. you are His universe, His most beautiful creation. speak with Him, thank Him. He will give to you as He always intended to. it is His plan. the one he mapped for you before you were born. He gave your soul this miracle, this chance, this life. enjoy your life. live your best one, your only one.

Thank you Lord. Thank you Son of God. Thank you Holy Spirit. Thank you Angels. Thank you Ancestors in Heaven.

may peace be with you.

x. —S.C.