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#Therapist Studio City
toonheartz · 10 months
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i don't like how one of the types of my relationships with people is "i am studying you intensely" like i look back and go wow! this sounds. kinda creepy actually.
i'm just weirdly analytical about people. catch 22 of if i wasnt mentally ill i'd be a psychologist. but i wouldn't be so interested in psychology if i wasn't mentally ill lmao
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astrocafecoffee · 3 months
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Destiny Matrix
(predicting some events of your life and characteristics of your fs)
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• For entertainment purposes only, enjoy •
•☞ Masterlist
Guys, destiny matrix chart is So gorgeous 😭 , I fell in love. I am new to this, but it's so fascinating, so I am sharing with you guys. Obviously I learnt a lot from ann_matrix_destiny insta page. I explained some of her work here, rest is mine.
✨What is Destiny matrix chart?
-A spiritual and metaphysical chart that reveals a person's life path, soul purpose, and potential.
✨How is it calculated?
-Based on a person's birth date, using a complex system of numerology and astrological correspondences.
💫 How to see some important events of your life?
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see this area(perimeter line)of your chart , this will explain many important events of your life.
💚Age of getting married/ meeting with your significant other/ spouse:
- look at your age in your chart, if you see 3,5,6,19,20 at the top of your age then at that age you will get married/ meet your significant other/ start a family. Like in this chart I have shown above '5' is top of the age of 23.5- 24, so this individual will meet their spouse at that age/ get married.
• Going through Transformation in your life :
- if you see 13 or 16 at the top of your age , then at that age your life will drastically change/ you will go through a huge transformation of your life. You will change your location/ your career/ will shift to another country or city.
⚡Moving abroad/ travelling:
If you see 7,10,21,22 above your age then this is the best age for travelling or going abroad.
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if you find 21 in your love line(circled part)then most probably you will marry a foreigner.
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And if you find 7, 10 , 21 or 22 in this positions then most probably you will go abroad/ find your partner there .
Now , the future spouse part : -
💖 Hints about your future partner :
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Look at the number below the heart symbol to know about your future partner. In this chart it's 21.
So, let's explain each numbers -
•Number 1: The magician
- creative and innovative
- skilled and talented
- confident and charismatic
- however they may also struggled with over - confidence and arrogance.
- gemini / Virgo zodiac sign placements
- profession : musicians, writer, public speaker, coaches and mentors , scientist, entrepreneur, marketing and advertising professionals.
- meeting: conference or seminar, art galleries, meuseum, workshop or studio, networking events or industry conference, class or training session.
• Number 2 : High Priestess
- intuitive and wise
- mysterious and enigmatic
- maybe quiet and reserved.
- soft spoken and considerate.
- cancer zodiac sign placements.
- profession: councillors, therapists, psychologist, Nurse or healthcare professionals, social workers, spiritual leaders, energy workers.
- meeting: secret or private settings, libraries, coaching, weddings , meeting in the context of any spiritual retreats.
• Number 3 : Empress
- Full of life , energy and vitality.
- encouraging others to grow and flourish.
- committed, dedicated and faithful.
- Taurus and Libra zodiac sign placements.
- profession: fashion designer , sculptors, teachers and educators,event planer, environmentalists, musicians, healthcare.
- meeting through : parties, gatherings, festival, fair, creative workshops, artistic projects ,meuseum, concerts.
• Number 4 : Emperor
- Natural born leader, authoritative, commanding.
- makes tough decisions with clarity and conviction.
- commited to family and responsibilities.
- zodiac sign: Aries placements.
- profession: executive, CEO, leader or manager, military officer, architect, Engineer, government officials, buisness owner.
- meeting : buisness meeting, job interviews, formal events , official ceremonies.
• Number 5 : Hierophant
- values established customs, rituals, and institutions.
- upholds ethical standards and moral principles.
- prioritise stability and security over change and uncertainty.
- Taurus zodiac sign placements
- profession: spiritual leaders and mentors, councellor , advisor or consultants, traditional healers or healthcare professionals.
- meeting: spiritual or religious gatherings, traditional ceremonies or rituals, educational and training sessions , counciling or therapy sessions, church,temples , mosques.
• Number 6 : The lovers
- collaborative, work well others.
- empathetic and aware of others feelings.
- true to themselves and their values.
- zodiac sign: Gemini placements.
- profession: counselors, coaches , writer , journalist, artist, musicians, public speaker, philosophers , scientist, researchers.
- meeting : social getherings or parties , creative or artistic collaboration, Beauty or fashion events , community or networking meeting.
• Number 7 : The chariot
- Determined, self disciplined.
- ability to overcome any obstacles and setbacks
- has clear direction
- zodiac : cancer placements
- profession: nurses , social worker, military, architect, psychologist, chefs , nutritionist, hospitality professionals.
- Meeting: family gatherings, home or domestic settings, caregiving or helping professions.
• Number 8 : strength
- courageous, brave , have inner strength.
- has capacity to forgive and let go.
- has self discipline and self control.
- zodiac sign: leo placements
- profession: artist , designer, performers , public speaker, motivator, executives, philanthropist, teacher, councellor, athletes, trainers.
- meeting: park or garden, fitness or wellness center, creative studio or art space, festivals, social gatherings.
• Number 9 : Hermit
- quiet, reflective, and introspective often preferring to spend time alone
- serves as guide or mentor
- discerning and concious about every step they take.
- zodiac sign: Virgo placements.
- profession: therapist, counselors,teachers , coaches , writers, editors, healthcare industry, social worker.
- meeting: therapists or counselor office, library , spiritual or religious sanctuary, coffee shop , book store.
• Number 10 : wheel of fortune
- flexible, able to adjust to changing circumstances.
- believes in destiny
- have philosophical outlook on life.
- zodiac sign: Taurus, leo, scorpio, Aquarius placements.
- profession: life coach, astrologer, environmentalists, entrepreneur, investors, historians.
- meeting: a farm , airport, bus station, temple, monastery, party,park , near mountain or river.
• Number 11 : Justice
- impartial and balanced
- they make descision based on reason and logics.
- have strong sense of morality and ethics.
- zodiac sign: Libra placements
- profession: lawyer, judge, counselors, social worker, activists, advocate, journalist, analyst , or spiritual leader.
- meeting: courthouse, law office, government building, council chamber, community centre, places of worship, philosophical organization.
• Number 12 : Hanged Man
- they are reflective , look inward for answers.
- they are open to new settings.
- courageous, deep understanding of themselves.
- zodiac sign: Pisces placements
- profession : spiritual leaders, therapist, counselor , artist, writer, healthcare industry, motivator, life coach.
- meeting : temples , church , meditation room , yoga class , hospital, library, therapy office,art studio, gym.
• Number 13 : Death
- they are like phoenix from the ashes.
- they can navigate difficult situations and come out stronger.
- constantly growing and evolving.
- zodiac sign: scorpio placements
- profession: therapist, estate lawyers, spiritual leaders, scientist, healthcare professionals.
- meeting: counselling centre, place of worship, innovation hub or entrepreneurship centres, hospital, wellness center.
• Number 14 : Temperance
- they strive for equilibrium in all aspects of life .
- they prioritise physical, mental and emotional well-being.
- have creative sides.
- zodiac sign: Sagittarius placements .
- profession: doctor or nurse , therapist or counselor, artist or musicians, spiritual leader, international relation specialist , life coach , designer .
- meeting : art galleries or museums, embassies or international conference centres , community centres, clubs , parks , garden , spiritual center , yoga class.
• Number 15 : The devil
- they thinks outside the box and brings fresh ideas .
- magnetic personality, can attract others.
- unconventional, transformative.
- zodiac sign: Capricorn placements.
- profession: politician, CEO, artist, law enforcement, military, detective , investigators, activists, occultist.
- meeting: historic mansion or estate, a secret rooftop, art galleries, studio , book store, library , cafe.
• Number 16 : Tower
- they seek honesty and transparency even if it's uncomfortable.
- rebellious, resilient, revolutionary.
- they are open to new ideas.
- zodiac sign: Aries placements.
- profession : scientist, inventor, engineer, architect, military officer, crisis manager, technologist.
- meeting: transformation hub, a unique event space or art studio, bookstore, library, co-working space.
• Number 17 : Star
- they have a optimistic outlook of life and believe in a bright future.
- inspiring, peaceful, compassionate.
- creative and imaginative mind.
- zodiac sign: Aquarius placements.
- profession: creative expression, artist , industry related to healing and wellness, science and technology, humanitarian work, counselors.
- meeting: yoga studio or wellness center, botanical garden or peaceful outdoor setting, co-working space, concerts? , innovation hub.
• Number 18 : The Moon
- they trust their instincts and have a strong connection to their subconscious mind.
- deeply in touch with their emotions.
- unpredictable, may surprise other with their actions.
- zodiac sign : Pisces placements.
- profession : psychic or medium, artist or writer, musician, poet , spiritual teacher, healer, counselors.
- meeting: mystical or esoteric shop, secluded beach, art studio, a spiritual or metaphysical bookstore, coffee shop.
• Number 19 : Sun
- they exude self assurance and positivity.
- optimistic, enthusiastic, charismatic.
- warm hearted , willing to share blessings with others.
- zodiac sign: leo placements.
- profession: actor or performer, artist, CEO , teacher or mentor, event planner, musicians, life coach, designer.
- meeting: cafe / restaurant/ hotel , studio , gathering hall, auditorium, music festival.
• Number 20: Judgement
- they are introspective and willing to confront their past and inner self.
- self aware, have deep understanding of their strengths and weaknesses.
- awakened, courageous, honest.
- zodiac sign: scorpio placements
- profession : spiritual teacher or guide , therapist or counselor, life coach, researcher, artist or creative expression.
- meeting: spiritual center or temple, yoga class, a writer's workshop, park , garden , therapy or councilling office.
• Number 21: The world
- they have achieved their goals and fullfill their potential.
- compassions, wise, confident
- adventurous and global minded.( Most likely a foreigner)
- zodiac sign: Taurus, Capricorn, leo , placements.
- profession : global diplomat, artist ( global or universal theme) , cultural ambassador, world traveler, humanitarian work.
- meeting: while traveling, international conference centres , airport, spiritual retreat, international art or music venues.
• Number 22 : The fool
- they are willing to take risks and embark on new journeys.
- spontaneous, carefree , open minded.
- have faith in themselves and universe.
- zodiac sign: Aquarius placements.
- profession: entrepreneur or startup founder, activist, humanitarian work,coach or consultants, designer, scientist,teacher, journalist.
- meeting: spontaneous meet-up or pop up events, inspirational seminars, creative workshops,cafe or coffee shop, outdoor adventure location.
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END .....( I am tired af 😭)
☞ Healing through marriage
Thanks for reading 💓
-Piko ✨
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vilsoo · 1 year
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‎ VILSOO PRESENTS…
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‎ 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞 ‎ ‎ 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧… 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐫𝐨𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫!
‎ 𖤐 ENTRY TICKET HERE 𖤐 ‎ ֺ [ taglist ]
𝐇𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐈𝐒 𝐄𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐘; 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘… Inspired by Universal Studios Halloween Horror Nights, indulge in sex and horror galore at our premiere Kinktober event, HORRORLAND! Would you dare venture our haunted houses, experience our exhilarating attractions, and uncover the scandalous, deadly mysteries of Horrorland?
OPENED OCTOBER 2023 🕸️
fandoms: jujutsu kaisen, fnaf, re4, spiderman atsv, codmw2.
⚠︎ Beware that event may be too intense for parkland guests and is NOT recommended for minors. Horrorland will explore darker and extreme contents that may be triggering. ⚠︎
ㅤ ↓ VIEW PARKLANDS (KINKTOBER MASTERLIST) ↓
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MANEATERVILLE FRIDAYS🩸we feed your fear from the thirst for blood, flesh, and lust that terrorizes the handsome men in town! can you survive the vastly evil sensuality of maneaters, femme fatales, witches, and vampires?
𖤐 OCTOBER 6TH: ❝ SEASON OF THE WITCH ❞ starring GETO SUGURU (jjk)
“love spells aren’t enough to make you mine forever…”
⚠︎ CW: witch disguised as sex therapist, implied homewrecking, slight yandere, witchcraft, seduction, impersonation, bodysnatching, body/soul possession, kidnapping, eventual smut, horror/thriller themes.
𖤐 OCTOBER 13TH: ❝ MY GIRLFRIEND IS A SUCCUBUS! ❞ starring MICHAEL AFTON (fnaf)
“an insatiable lust for flesh, gore, and sex…!”
⚠︎ CW: established relationship, modern au, halloween setting, malewife himbo bf/girlboss demon gf dynamic, succubus!reader, revenge, murder, flesh eating, tentacle bondage, msub!michael.
𖤐 OCTOBER 27TH: ❝ LUST AT FIRST BITE ❞ starring LEON KENNEDY (re4)
“i’ve always wondered what you tasted like, your highness..”
⚠︎ CW: historical royalty au, duchess!reader, coercion so dubcon warning, seduction, hypnosis, eventual smut, bathtub sex, marking, neck biting, blood drinking, mentions of killing, loss of innocence, multiple orgasms.
ㅤ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
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S&H CITY SATURDAYS🍷a dark and gloomy city bound to corruption, sin, and immorality known as the devil’s playground. lurking within these streets beholds the prurient reigns of terror that which may also arouse parkland guests…
𖤐 OCTOBER 7TH: ❝ DEATHGASM.COM ❞ starring SIMON “GHOST” RILEY, KÖNIG (codmw2)
“never go too far in the dark web…”
⚠︎ TW: dubcon, kidnapping, sadism, voyeurism, drugging, bondage, impact play, sex toys, livestream sex, manhandling, exhibitionism, forced creampie, double penetration, mind break, mask kink.
𖤐 OCTOBER 14TH: ❝ FREAK NEXT DOOR ❞ starring TOJI FUSHIGURO (jjk)
“i love watching you every night from my window...”
⚠︎ TW: noncon, drugging, stalking/voyeurism, murder threats, perverted neighbor, kinda yandere, forced cuckolding, minor gunplay, bondage, degrading, dark obsession, kidnapping, eventual smut, forced creampie.
𖤐 OCTOBER 28TH: ❝ BREAK MY MIND ❞ starring WILLIAM AFTON (fnaf)
“it is not your flesh that sustains me; it is your fear…”
⚠︎ TW: dubcon, mind control (glitchtrap virus), sadism, kidnapping, murder threats, fear play, manipulation, predator/prey dynamic, implied age gap, degradation, eventual rough smut, mentions of vanny mask.
ㅤ ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈
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HALLOWEEN DAYS ❤️‍🔥 these dark woods satisfies those with teratophilia… deadly creatures preying on their victims, serving their lustful fantasies with wild, animalistic urges! your arousal and fear may provoke them further, so beware…
𖤐 OCTOBER 30TH: ❝ SATAN’S PLAYTHING ❞ starring SUCCUBUS!GOJO SATORU (jjk)
“you look so pretty getting stretched out like that…”
⚠︎ TW: dubcon, female!gojo satoru, tentacle trap in the woods, tentacle bondage, rough tentacle sex, mindbreak, double penetration, subplot from god’s whore, throat fucking, degrading, 1980s setting.
𖤐 OCTOBER 31ST: ❝ BLOODMOON WHORE ❞ starring WEREWOLF!MIGUEL O’HARA (atsv)
“your perfect little body is all mine to breed tonight…”
⚠︎ CW: established relationship, miguel in heat, rough sex, soft sex, marking, biting, possession, breeding, knotting, impregnating, degrading/praising, power struggle, multiple orgasms, semi-public sex.
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ALL WORKS BELONG TO VILSOO © 2023 . please do not steal my kinktober prompts/works/themes! reposting any of my works outside tumblr that minors can access is strictly prohibited. will be cross posted on my ao3 soon.
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minaswifeeeeeee · 2 months
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when it’s starless, i will follow you to the moon
a dubchaeng marine biology au !
Dahyun is a marine biologist and Chaeyoung is an artist with a knack for sketching the waves!
(A/N: This is my first fic so apologies for the clunky formatting and/or spelling errors!)
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Dahyun has always known what she’d do with her life. from the way she would almost seem to gravitate to water on beach trips as a child to the way she was awe struck the first time she was taken to the aquarium, she knew. So it wasn’t much surprise to anyone when she moved to Jeju island right after college to pursue her studies. She found solace in watching the sun set over the shore after a long day of diving.
Chaeyoung, on the other hand, always found her way back to the ocean, no matter how hectic life became. The rhythmic ebb and flow of the tides called to her, a constant amidst the chaos in her life. It wasn’t surprising to anyone when Chaeyoung would up and disappear after a stressful evening to the sandy shores of Jeju Island.
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As of late, Chaeyoung had been struggling. She had just opened an art studio in the heart of Incheon to showcase her work, a dream she should be celebrating. Yet, to say she was stressed would be an understatement. There's only so much creative inspiration an artist can produce in such a short amount of time, and Chaeyoung felt she was falling short. From late-night drives to clear her head to picking up journaling again as her therapist had suggested three years ago (better late than never), Chaeyoung was stuck.
This explains the abruptness of her trip to Jeju Island —she needed to clear her head. Ever since she could remember, the ocean had always been her biggest muse, a source of inspiration that never failed her. It was what she needed now.
She booked a last-minute flight, the shortest route from Incheon to Jeju, and spent the hour-long journey staring out the window, her thoughts as turbulent as the clouds below.
Upon arrival, she took a taxi from the airport, the driver friendly and talkative, contrasting with her need for quiet reflection. The winding roads of Jeju, flanked by volcanic rock and lush greenery, did little to calm her mind, but the sight of the ocean in the distance began to soothe her.
The trek down to the shore from the small motel room she rented (which was less than ideal, but it would do) was tiring. She sighed in relief as she sank into the sand to rest with her sketchbook, gazing upon the ocean.
After a few minutes of rough sketching and admiring the view she had so missed, Chaeyoung's attention shifted to a woman in a wetsuit perusing the water's edge—presumably a diver of some sort.
She found herself watching the woman for a few short minutes before shifting back to the rough sketching of the lapping waves.
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Dahyun was content. She had mustered enough money to buy herself a small beach house along the shores of Jeju to aid in her ongoing studies of the tides, which meant she was rarely ever in the city anymore.
Every evening, she found herself in the waters or along the shores, admiring the glisten of the waves as the rays of the sun reflected against the cool water. Dahyun was always at peace when she was doing what she loved. However this trip to the shore was a bit different.
After a grueling day of diving—(and borderline baking in the sun)—Dahyun was worn out. She sighed as she kneeled slightly to pack away her flippers and diving mask, unzipping the legs of her wetsuit to feel the sand against her feet before trudging up the slope of sand to head home.
Only then did she notice a woman nestled among a cluster of rocks, diligently scribbling in a notebook. Her steps faltered as she debated whether to approach her. After all, she could use the socialization after leaving her friends in the city. Humming softly to herself, she decided to walk toward the woman.
"Hi," Dahyun said awkwardly as she drew near, waving her unoccupied hand.
The woman startled, quickly hiding her sketchbook as if afraid of prying eyes.
Dahyun chuckled softly. "Sorry for the scare— just saw you up here and thought you might like some company..."
The woman's eyes scanned Dahyun before she shifted slightly, relaxing a bit. "I guess company wouldn't hurt."
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After a while of conversation, Dahyun had become well-acquainted with the woman and learned her name was Chaeyoung. Chaeyoung was an up-and-coming artist who had just opened a studio in the city and was feeling the pressure of producing new work.
Dahyun observed the gears turning in Chaeyoung's mind as she sketched, sighing and huffing with frustration.
"You know," Dahyun said, her tone tinged with concern, "I'm not an expert in body language, but you definitely look stressed."
"Maybe you should call it a day and head home. I can walk you," Dahyun offered.
Chaeyoung glanced up from her work, meeting Dahyun's gaze and letting out a small sigh as she closed her sketchbook. "Yeah, maybe you're right,"
She says as she stands to her feet, her knees wobbly from how long she had been sat, needing to grasp onto dahyuns arm for some support which in turn heats her cheeks up immensely. She composes herself before heading towards the exit ramp with dahyun close behind.
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The walk was much more enjoyable than Dahyun had expected for escorting a stranger home. Perhaps it was because she hadn't had a proper social interaction in months, or maybe it was her naturally extroverted personality-but let's be honest, it was probably the first reason. Dahyun found herself laughing at Chaeyoung's comments and, to her surprise, making Chaeyoung laugh as well-a sound she was quickly growing fond of.
When they arrived at the small, dingy motel, Dahyun scrutinized the place as if assessing the risk of being mugged. Her thoughts were interrupted by Chaeyoung's frustrated grunts. "Goddammit," Chaeyoung muttered, struggling to fit the key into the lock.
Dahyun approached with a small frown. "Hey….. hey," she said, trying to draw Chaeyoungs attention away from her struggle. Chaeyoungs frustrated gaze meeting her own.
“If the lock isn’t working, you could come back to my place. It’s just a ten-minute walk from here,” Dahyun suggested, watching Chaeyoung’s reaction. She noticed the faint blush on Chaeyoung's cheeks, even in the fading light.
“Oh—yeah, sure,” Chaeyoung replied, her voice soft.
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From that point on the pair were practically inseparable. They took morning walks to the beach, with Dahyun talking Chaeyoung’s ear off about sharks—especially tiger sharks, which she had come to learn were her favorite.
“They are just so cool, Chaeng!” Dahyun exclaimed, swinging her bag of diving gear as she walked beside the shorter woman. “They can literally turn their stomachs inside out!”
Chaeyoung sighed slightly, a small smile playing on her lips. “You’re such a nerd,” she said in mock annoyance, turning her head slightly to hide the growing blush on her cheeks—a reaction that had become quite common since she met Dahyun.
————----------------
The two spent countless nights together at Dahyun's beach house, waking up early in the morning to walk to Chaeyoung’s favorite café—something that had become a cherished routine for them—just to chat for an hour or two.
“My muse has always been the ocean,” Chaeyoung mused as she sipped her iced latte, gazing out the window at the few cars passing by on the remote road. “Ever since I was a kid, I’d always find my way back here.”
She turned back to Dahyun with a slight smile. “I’m glad I found my way back this time because now I have you.”
The soft words had Dahyun turning her head to hide her blush this time.
———-------------
Months passed with the pair living together. Chaeyoung had taken a break to return to the city to check on things—a hellish experience for Dahyun—but she soon came back to the beach house, as if it were where she truly belonged.
It wasn’t surprising to either of them when they shared their first kiss. They stood together on the balcony, Dahyun’s jacket wrapped around Chaeyoung to shield her from the chilly ocean breeze as they stared out at the water. It was a perfect first kiss for both of them.
——-
Their relationship blossomed almost comically fast, with them saying their ‘I love yous’ only a month after their first kiss. With anyone else, Dahyun would’ve found Chaeyoung’s romantic nature corny, but with Chaeyoung, it felt perfect—as if it were meant to be.
Dahyun was broken out of her thoughtful state by Chaeyoung’s soft voice coming from the nape of her neck, where the younger girl had buried her face.
“Dahyunnie?” Chaeyoung hummed softly, tilting her head up to get the older girl's attention.
“Yeah…?” Dahyun responded curiously, bringing a hand down to swipe the stray hairs from Chaeyoung’s face.
“I think you’re my muse now.”
Dahyun’s heart stuttered at the soft words. She closed her eyes and sighed in content. There were two things she was sure of in life, the ocean, and Chaeyoung. Her Chaengie.
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notes!!: I apologize if the formatting is clunky, this being my first fic im still trying to determing my style and what not.
I hope you enjoyed !!
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harrytheehottie · 10 months
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LOOKING BACK (a snapshot of moments in harry’s pov)
Harry woke up from a nightmare. Or maybe it wasn’t a nightmare, just a really vivid dream. Whatever it was. He was now up in the middle of the night. The private plane was still above the Atlantic Ocean. Harry tapped on the screen on the seat in front of him. The map of the plane's journey, only three and a half hours left until he’s back home. He couldn’t wait.
The last few months, honestly years of his life have felt out of his control. He spent a year working on an album that he was only able to promote for three months before the entire world shut down and he was unable to leave Los Angeles for months although it felt like years after day 14 of living in the same house as his friends. He loved them but he was going crazy. So, he did what he always does in moments of crazy, he called up his friends Tom and Tyler, booked the studio in Malibu for a month and got all his emotions out for his next album.
And then. His life went a little like this.
Album. Movie. Relationship. Grammy. Another Movie. Tour. Album. More Tours. More Tours. Another Tour. Breakup. More Tours. Final Round? Yes. Done.
And now, he was three and a half hours from the one place he wanted to be most.
With you.
Harry has always thought the ‘you’ll find love where you least expect it’ was a cliche. He was always set up somehow or just happened to be in an environment where a relationship may naturally occur for most. He was single for the first time in a long time and didn’t want anything serious. His focus was finishing up the tour - the only date in his mind was July 22, 2023. The last time he would be on stage for at least a full year.
And then, one late night when he was in bed somewhere in Asia he found himself tapping through Instagram stories. He was on a strict schedule and wasn’t one to party during tour - unless it was a very special occasion. And he was letting himself have a few more of those doing his days off. But tonight, he was in bed with some music documentary in the background as he tapped through Instagram.
A picture of his old classmates' new child. A selfie. A picture of the sunset on the beach. A repost about the ‘Sunday Scaries’. And then a video of one of his friends from back home in London at a party of some sort. Something was telling him to linger on these next few slides. He recognized some faces. London was a fairly small city and when you’ve lived there for a little over a decade - it gets smaller and smaller. He hasn’t seen you around. He replayed the same 15 second video over and over again. He was mesmerized by the way your bright smile and shy laugh cut through the video even though you weren’t the center of attention. Your presence is what got him to go back to the story over and over again.
He thought about messaging the mutual friend. His thumb hovering over the ‘send a message’ button at the bottom of the screen. Would it be too full on? Too desperate? What would you think? It’s the tricky part about being himself. He doesn’t want to come off too full on and confident. Maybe he thinks he should try to sleep on it. But something keeps making him go back to that story, over and over and over again. So, he does the second best thing. He sends a text to the friend who posted the story - asking them to hangout when he’s back home and introduce you to him.
&&
When Harry first met you, he swore it felt straight out of a movie. He was a romantic. He always has been that way. His therapist thinks it comes from growing up solely around women and watching his parents separate. You long for the things you didn’t have or something like that. But he knows that this, whatever he is feeling is different. His friend did him a favor and instead of just inviting solely you to hangout, he had a game night at his house. Harry was nervous the entire day, unable to figure out what to wear, how to style his hair, if he should arrive on time or a little late. He was working himself up so much he almost had to call his older sister, Gemma to help him get ready but decided not to. He didn’t want to involve anyone just yet. So, he put on an outfit he’s worn dozens of times before. A blue button down and some black trousers, ran his hands through his hair a few times and headed out the door.
The minute he made it to his friend's apartment. He swore he heard your voice. The laugh that was replaying from that same fifteen second clip. He felt his desire to be near you grow stronger throughout the night. It was almost embarrassing. The way he was so desperate for your attention. Every smile and laugh you shared felt like another success under his belt. He really liked you and needed you to know that. So, when you finally sat next to him during a game of charades, Harry decided to do something. You were both engaged in the game happening right in front of you. Everyone was. Which gave Harry an opportune time to lay back on the couch and move his right hand from his own leg to yours. He had his hand on your thigh right above the knee. He could almost feel his body tensing up and getting red as seconds went by without a reaction from you.
He felt like he was holding his breath in. Until, you also began to slowly lean back on the couch. Smiling at Harry the same way he knew he was looking at you. A shy laugh between the two of you and you stayed like that through the majority of the night. The game night was useless because he got what he initially came for.
And damn did he feel very lucky.
&&
Your first date started off not well. Harry planned to take you to one of his favorite restaurants which ended up being closed for maintenance. He was scrambling for another location and settled on a picnic in the park. You talked for hours about everything. Where you’ve from, what brought you to London, your favorite things to do. And Harry was intently listening to every detail asking questions he never did before. He really wanted this to work out. The feeling of that pull towards you growing the more you spoke.
By date number four, he was already thinking of asking you to be his girlfriend. You were walking back to the car after a nice meal at your favorite hole in the way Chinese restaurant. To some it would be too soon, honestly, to himself a few months ago it would feel too soon. But right now, on this walk back to the car, after sharing endless amounts of dumplings and feeling like your conversation was effortless, he knew he wanted to bottle this feeling up and experience it every single day for as long as you’d allow him.
So, he did something that the two of you laugh about now.
You were a couple feet from the car when Harry stopped dead in his tracks. And as soon as you realized he wasn’t still walking beside you and you turned around to see what he was up to. He was about to kneel down on one knee.
“What are you doing?” You asked immediately, laughing at the situation he put you in. He didn't know it at the time but there was a tiny part of you that thought this was something he always did.
“I know this is crazy.” Harry began to speak, “and we’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of months…”
“Are you going to propose to me because I’ve not run away after date number two?” Harry loved how much shit you gave him. “But seriously you need to stand up before people think you’re being serious.”
“Okay okay,” he slowly got up, “I was going to say that… you can tell me if it’s too soon or too early but if I could’ve asked you this back when we first met I would’ve…”
You had a puzzled look on your face. He knows the face now, you pull it when you’re unsure, hesitant.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
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alice-angel12x · 1 year
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Who Famed Y/n Darling Chapter.1
(Welcome Home Au) Masterlist Here
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"Don't fly to High Y/n! Your Wings still need time to grow!" Mother called out to me, just below me.
My tiny wings flapped as hard as they could, I wanted to reach the clouds like the rest of my older siblings. My mother was flying just beneath me, ready to catch me if I were to fall.
Suddenly, my feathers started to fall off me as I began to plummet to the earth. The sky was suddenly getting farther and farther away, as my mother's voice cried out for me in horror.
But when I hit the ground I'm suddenly older, in a dark grim place. Cages were everywhere as horrible laughs and screams could be heard. A dark figure looms over me as his red-tinted glasses gleam down at me. Ink and paint dribbled down my back from where My... Wings were once attached.
The figure was about to grab my face when suddenly, a loud ringing filled my ears.
Chapter 1
Y/n Gasps awake as their sheets go flying off them. Y/n quickly looked around, only to quickly notice that they were safe in their bedroom. Their Alarm clock blared and shook the nightstand. With a quick slap, the clock shuts up and falls to the ground.
"OW! The Day Just Started What's Got You So Upset?!" The clock growled.
"Sorry, sorry. Nightmare again," Y/n apologized as they rolled out of bed.
"Again," The sentient clock sighed. "Just because you had a bad dream, doesn't mean you take it out on me."
"Sorry Cogsmith," Y/n said as they gently placed the clock back on the nightstand.
"Maybe you should see a therapist," Cogsmith suggested.
The two sat in silence for a bit and eventually broke out into loud laughter. Cogsmith even wiped a tear away with his tiny metal arm.
"Haha, therapy for Toons. Sadly not likely. Too expensive for an average toon," Y/n sighed.
"Yeah, and those snooty humans want nothing with us other than laugh," Cogsmith scoffed. "Oh and speaking of laughs. If you don't book it in 5 minutes you are going to be late at the studio."
Y/n's eyes popped open wide as they let out a gasp as they began to zip around the house. Only Y/n's after images of the toon could be seen as the food was rapidly eaten, PJ's being tossed off, and day clothes slapped on. Y/n quickly tried to bush out morning breath as they ran out the door.
"Don't forget your work Papers! You'll be stopped at the gate without them!!" Cogsmith shouted as the tiny clock toon held up a large envelope of papers.
Y/n's arm stretched through the crack of the door and quickly yanked the papers out of the clock's hands. The toon dashed down to the sidewalk and quickly hopped into the seats of their invisible car.
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"BBRRR!!" Y/n sounded as it powered the car to dash down the road.
As Y/n drove down the empty road, a distant engine behind them. Tilting the nonexistent rear-view mirror, and gasped to see who it was. But before Y/n could react the chaser rammed their nonexistent car into theirs.
"Alex! Stop it, that's reckless driving!!" Y/n shouted at Alex as they stabilized their "car".
"Not without a car it's not, My dear Rival!" Alex shouted as he rammed his "car" again. "Today's the day Y/n Scout that I put an End to You!"
"You say that every time and it's never going to happen!" Y/n shouted as they sped ahead. " And I don't have time for you today, I'm running late!"
"Well, Even more reason to chase you down," Alex smirked as he suddenly changed direction, and took a sharp right turn.
Y/n sighed in relief as they saw Alex suddenly drive off somewhere else. But that relief did not last long as Y/n saw the upcoming interesting, and Alex zooming down to the interesting lane, planning to crash into them.
Y/n gritted their teeth and stepped on the gas! Alex smirked as he also stepped on the gas, ready to crash into Y/n. Yet just as Y/n was about to reach the intersection, Y/n slammed on the brakes. Causing Alex to zoom past and crash into a pole. Knocking him unconscious..
Y/n sighs in relief as they drive past and toward Toon City. Yet as they got closer to the Toon city, they were stopped by a giant car pile in the middle of the street. Y/n groaned in frustration at the chaos. Toons were just running around nonsensically and not fixing the problem.
With a sigh, Y/n quickly put the car in reverse, to take a left to try to cut through Anime City. One of the few larger and first-class urban cities in Toon town. Thankfully no crazy car crash pile there, so Y/n was able to pass through without trouble. But of course, the only transport Gate was blocked by protesters. Toon protestors who were protesting against humans turning their movies/ shows into Live-action.
So Y/n slowly and carefully drove forward hoping the toons would just move aside. The Gate security around the gate started to push the crowd out of the way so other toons could get throuth
"Humans are trying to replace us!" "We Won't Let Them!" they chanted as Y/n finally made it to the gate.
The Human Gate officer sat in his booth with a tired and bored expression as Y/n pulled up. The Booth was on their right, and ahead of them was a heavy red stage curtain that blocked the tunnel.
"Work papers and proof of invitation," The officer said robotically.y.
Y/n quickly handed over their document, as the officer did the standard procedure. With a loud stamp, he looks at Y/n with a critical look.
"Be back before midnight, and don't cause trouble, Toon," The officer warned.
" I never do," Y/n smiled.
With a huff, the guard pulled back the curtains. reaveling a seemingly endless void. Y/n zoomed into the darkness as the light from behind vanished, causing the end of the tunnel to suddenly appear in sight. Suddenly they were spat out of the tunnel and onto the road towards Applewood City.
It was bustling with humans and puppets as Y/n zoomed past. But came to a screeching halt just a few inches away from a small raccoon toon.
"Rachy? What are you doing out here? I thought you were under toon arrest," Y/n asked with slight shock. "You should be in toon town."
"I do what I want! Not Even Doom can stop me!" Rachy shouted as he ran off, disappearing into the crowd.
Soon a few toon police zoomed past to chase after the small Racoon. With a small chuckle, they looked back at the traffic light, waiting for the green. When they felt like someone was looking at them intensely. Y/n looked over to their left to see a sedan in the back seat. A yellow puppet with a blue pompadour was staring at them with a befuddled expression.
Toons and Puppets don't usually run in the same circles. So this was probably this puppet's first time ever seeing a toon. 'Why is this... person? floating, and so weirdly,' the puppet thought to himself.
Y/n smiled softly and gave a friendly wave. "It's a lowrider. Pretty cool huh?" They said with confidence.
The puppet just rolled up their window in response and looked elsewhere. With a sigh, Y/n turned back to the road and drove off down the road.
"What was that?" The puppet asked.
"A Toon, weird little creature," The chauffeur said simply.
-----------------------------------------------------
Y/n zoomed through the streets and crashed into the toon Parking lot. A few seconds before they could be considered late.
"WOOW! Made it!" Y/n cheered as they jumped out of their "car" in victory. As it...Blew up behind him.
The Toon janitor, who was slightly caught in the explosion, sighed in annoyance.
"Sorry Mark," Y/n smiled nervously as they quickly ran off. But Mark simply fainted as Y/n ran off.
Y/n rushed through the studio to get their costume on as the crew ran about to prepare the recording.
"You're pulling it really close, Scout," The makeup artist said as she bobbed Y/n in the face with a cartoonishly large makeup pad.
Y/n tummbled back with a loud sneeze, and into a costume chest. The Artist quickly closed the trunk with Y/n inside and shook the chest like a shaker. When satisfied they tossed open the chest as Y/n flew out. Fully dressed in costume, they roll and stumble to a stand as they comb their hair back.
"You're always so gentle with me, ms. Darthy," Y/n smiled sheepishly.
"Don't be cheeky. Know hurry up and get on set!" They shouted.
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songoftrillium · 10 months
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Meet The (Updated) Writing Team
Hello Kinfolks! These last two months have been quiet for y'all in terms of updates, but BUSY in terms of the work being done by the sept of contributors to this project!
At the start of October I put out the call for help, saying that this project cannot succeed without the help and support of the Werewolf fandom. I'm happy to report that you as a fandom have responded phenomenally, and production on this series is now underway! These last few months have been dedicated to recruiting team members, and researching our book framework. We've about filled in the main core of the team, and have already gotten started writing Book 1: Cliath!
October through November has been dedicated entirely to research, both putting together a collection of citations we'll be using in this first book, and passing out initial writing assignments. This list is sure to grow in time, but for now we have plenty of work to do!
With that all said, I'd like to introduce you to the team that are showcasing the Gaians.
Amy Waller (she/her)
Bluesky
Ms. Waller is a freelance writer and massage therapist based in not-quite Northern Virginia, and is a contributor to D.W.A.R.V.S. . Werewolf the Apocalypse was her first RPG, and she loves the themes of shapechanging as self-actualization and of trying to balance instinct and wisdom.
Amy has joined the team to depict the journals of Cryptobiologist Esme "Leaping Ghost".
Bek Andrew Evans (He/They)
Linktree
Mx. Evans is a freelance writer and illustrator from Jackson, Mississippi. He explores themes of mental illness, disability, abuse, poverty, queer themes and the intersection of these statuses. He uses body and psychological horror, meticulous attention to medical details, and deep character dives as some of his favorite methods to achieve those goals.
Bek has been indispensible in book research, and will be taking his experience with M20 Sorcerer and writing for the Hearthbound, and fictitious news article citations.
Evie Emerson Smith (She/It)
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Evie is a programmer and designer of video games living with her pack in Pittsburgh, PA. She uses primarily anthropomorphic characters to tell stories about identity, queerness, and the power of community.
She has joined the team as a technical writer, and contributor to the opening comic: Cracking The Bone
Excelgarou (She/Her)
Carrd
She's been described as a Werewolf: The Apocalypse academic, and wears this title proudly. She labors at all hours on resources for Werewolf fans - particularly as regards aggregating otherwise obscure information - such as the Build-a-Veteran tool or (especially) the Werewolf Index Project.
Excelgarou is our lead researcher, ensuring our book citations and narrative voices remain consistent through all editions. She has also been conscripted to write the introductory passage on the World of Darkness, and to redraft the Children of Gaia.
James E. Deeley (He/Him)
Linktree
Jim has been playing, running, and writing for tabletop roleplaying games since he was first introduced to them over twenty years ago. Jim has presented on the subject of writing for games since 2010, and has been contracted to write mechanics and to do character design by the likes of High Level Games, Lostlorn Games, and Renegade Game Studios, but is equally skilled at writing lore and narrative, skills honed over two decades of running roleplaying games and medieval studies, lending a deep historical context to his writings.
Jim will write the Western Concordat, showcasing the Silver Fangs, Fianna, Get of Fenris, and Glass Walkers.
J.F. Sambrano (They/He)
Patreon
J. F. Sambrano is an author of horror and (urban/dark/depressing?) fantasy and an advocate for indigenous rights. He lives in Washington (the state) and is originally from Los Angeles (the city); the differences are staggering but the ocean and the I-5 are the same. He is Chiricahua Apache (Ndeh) and Cora Indian (Náayarite). He may or may not be a believer/practitioner of real world magic. If he were, he would not be interested in your hippy-dippy, crystal swinging, dream-catcher slinging garbage.But magic is real, let’s not fuck around.
Beloved Indigenous World of Darkness author J.F. Sambrano is joining our team to depict the Bastet in the Dawn Tribes! A friend and frequent topic of discussion on this blog, we are honored to have him on the team to bring the Werewolf: the Apocalypse he's long-felt the world deserves to life!
LeeKat (She/Her)
Linktree
Lee is a freelance artist, writer, and English teacher based in Brazil. The bulk of her content is furry, homoerotic, and TTRPG-centric works. Her writing focuses on exploring the depths of emotion with tales of self-discovery, queerness, and finding hope in a desolate world.
A huge lover of Werewolf, themes of generational trauma and rediscovering oneself in a world of turmoil resonated deeply, as well as themes of spirituality and ancestry. Writing for this project, she hopes to bring others the same catharsis she felt through exploring the books and their many themes.
Mórag (it/its)
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Mòrag is a writer and botanist from Te Wai Pounamu. It writes both botanical articles and horror stories, the former to raise awareness of ecological issues and the latter to explore what it means to be human, represent trans and autistic experiences, and addiction. It's horror writing is best recognized for its use of visceral first-person perspectives, body horror, and the grotesque. It is influenced heavily by works such as the Hellraiser films and the philosophies of Georges Bataille.
It has joined our team to write the story portions of the Song of Trillium, showcasing the legend of Tawatuy.
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raytorosaurus · 1 year
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i've been so curious about this 'unofficial therapist' that thursday had???? which member is he? how did they find him?? could he always play an instrument or did they ask him to learn so they could keep him around? did he actually help that much? how did it change thursday's writing? i don't expect you to have the answer to all of these things but you seem to know a lot about them and if nothing else i need to know who their therapist is and what 'unofficial' means in this case if you can help at all!
oh lol haha unofficial in the very literal sense so my guy andrew everding of the "no one ever expects it" chest hair fame from my chemical romance in the studio 2002 (@3:10) is like...the y/n of thursday.
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he's just a nice dude who hangs around and everyone likes, good friend of the guys in thursday, and then his house burns down and he has nowhere to stay so thursday were like yo just come tour with us and he did. because he's also a very talented (multi?-)instrumentalist and, as it turns out, a great composer too. also at some stage he lived with geoff's mom? it is unclear if this is before or after the fire and/or joining thursday as a touring member. he also photographed their first west coast tour in 2002?
so like anyway by 2003 he's playing keys for the watt tour which is like.....I'd say the darkest point of thursday's history but that would be a fucking lie lol. let's say the darkest point of thursday's history so far. the guys are super stressed, super overworked, super depressed, and under loads of pressure from their label who's saying they're underperforming the expectations they had for them. geoff in particular is copping a lottt of criticism for his singing which he really internalised, and basically everyone in the band is miserable. they were also. not fucking talking to each other. like at all. they would just all constantly bitch about each other behind everyone's back and never say shit to their face. andrew, as a touring member but not official member, and as a Nice Guy, ends up becoming like...the intermediary to whom everyone in the band went to vent. so he's like trying to fix their shit and be positive and he puts his foot down and is like guys you NEED to learn to COMMUNICATE. (spoilers they didn't) but anyway the band after a particularly nasty and conflict-laden tour of australia in 2004 are like fuck this we're breaking up! but then as soon as they agreed to breaking up they were like wait. so much of the pressure is gone now. actually we're good we just need a break :) but media has kind of already picked up on the story of them breakup up so it was all dreadfully will they/won't they. this is also right as three cheers is blowing the fuck up btw 😭😭 #we'retwosidesofthesamecoin #he'smyvillain.
oh shit and then they go on warped 04 as what would have been kinda their last thing but they're like hey look at this we're sorta starting to work on our problems! oh and then at the vegas date 24yo geoff gets shotgun married to a woman he'd been dating for two years with mcr, tbs, and the bouncing souls as the wedding party 😭😭😭😭😭.
ANYWAY. they end up not breaking up but take a break from touring and then all move in together for a while? i think bc they were a little scattered at that point and geoff might have been living in sydney (his wife was australian) at the time idk so when he came over to do thursday shit they just like lived together apparently. and they write city by the light divided (so titled bc the band, naturally, was totally divided on how they wanted the album to sound lol). anyway the main difference now is this time round they've invited andrew to join as an official member!! :DDD
...unfortunately for andrew, this is also the time thursday stops being even slightly commercially viable lol so he's like technically im earning less money now than i had been on a tour salary lolz. anyway he becomes a big part of the writing process, especially for that album and no devolucion, the instrumentals if which were apparently driven pretty heavily by him!
then in 2008 onwards thursday were all broke as fuck and needed to get day jobs to pay rent. most of them went into like...food service or painting houses, but tucker drummed for mcr for a bit and andrew worked as.....a guitar tech? for patd????? (also after the break up, tucker was in boy band the wanted for a while as their touring drummer. he loved it lol <3)
anyway tragically, andrew hasn't appeared at any of the reunion shows 😔. he's private so no details but he was dealing with some health issues towards the end of thursday that contributed to the band deciding to break up and has a baby and shit now. but he did continue touring as a musician a bit, like with neil finn in 2014!!!!!! playing some wacky fancy midi/synth electronic instrument iirc? epic collision of my childhood fave and new-adulthood fave.
anyway lol this is all typed out in bed on my phone off the top of my head so there might be some chronology errors in there, but a lot of this is from their documentary, kill the house lights! it's a comedy. dark comedy.
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#andrewnation <3
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princesandpoppers · 7 days
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a thursday
I wake up to an angry text from someone I don't have stored in my phone telling me that I stood him up last night. I check my calendar for yesterday, and nothing. But I read our text thread, and yes, we had dinner plans. I text "oops sorry lol" but it doesn't go through because my number's blocked.
I think I feel sad, which I only know because my therapist described the emotion to me. I call in sick, saying I might have COVID, but then I panic because I don't know what to do on a weekday.
I head to the Equinox on Sunset, but when I walk in I see Gordy, who I don't like hooking up with anymore, so I leave. I head to the Hollywood Equinox, where I run into and recall the guy I stood up last night. He makes his way towards me in a huff, so I turn right around and head to the Studio City Equinox.
After a lackluster work out, I don't want to go home. I drive aimlessly to Malibu, checking Scruff and Grindr for something oceanside and anonymous, but the search is fruitless.
Gordy texts and says he saw me earlier. He asks what I'm doing, and only out of boredom, and maybe sadness, do I suggest we hang out. But I don't want to host. He tells me to head his way in Silverlake. I thought he lived closer, so I flake on him, telling him I might have COVID.
"oops sorry lol."
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polutrope · 10 months
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Beleria AU: Cast
A list that no one asked for of my Beleria Modern AU characters, for your perusal. To be expanded, edited, and retconned as the mood strikes.
The Noldoran Finvesens
Finwë Noldoran (b. 1922, d. 2015, aged 92, natural causes). 6'. WW2 veteran and founder of Tirion Technical University in Valin, Aman. A Noldorin revolutionary sympathiser.
Míriel Noldoran, née Weber. (b. 1925, d. 1960, aged 35, pancreatic cancer). 5’2”. Finwë's first wife. They were very much in love and wished to have children but were never successful.
Fëanor Finvesen (b. 1958), 65. 5’11”. Adopted by Finwë and Míriel in 1960. Míriel died the first month of his adoption. His biological mother committed suicide and his father was incarcerated for sedition in the Noldorin Revolution and never released. Bachelor of Arts and Sciences (joint), Masters Civil Engineering, PhD Economics. Left Valin for Beleria, Endor, in 2016 after losing a major land ownership lawsuit against the government of Aman. Founder and President of Ambar Metta Development Group.
Nerdanel Finvesen (b. 1957), 66. 5’7”. Retired landscape architect. Sculptor, occasionally does public art projects. Studied at Tirion Technical University, where she met Fëanor.
Their children:
Maedhros (b. 1987), 36. 6’5”. Physical therapist and VP of Community Partnerships, and a shareholder, of Ambar Metta. Moved to Beleria with his parents. In a common-law relationship with Fingon.
Maglor (b. 1989), 34. 6’1”. Associate Artistic Director of Lindon Studios children’s musical theatre school. Shareholder in Ambar Metta. Divorced. Was in a successful rock band with his ex-husband in Valin. Moved to Beleria in 2021 after his divorce. In a relationship and lives with Daeron.
Celegorm (b. 1991), 32. 6’2”. Veterinary college student, part-time bartender at Angrist microbrewery. Shareholder in Ambar Metta. BA in Philosophy. Moved to Beleria with his parents. In a relationship with Aredhel.
Huan (b. 2017). His dog, a German shepherd and a good boy.
Caranthir (b. 1992), 31. 6’2”. Long-haul trucker, investor. Co-founder of Angrist microbrewery. Shareholder in Ambar Metta. MA Economics. Moved to Beleria in 2019. Single.
Curufin (b. 1994), 29. 5’10.” Co-founder, owner, and head brewer of Angrist microbrewery. Shareholder in Ambar Metta. BSc Chemistry. Moved to Beleria with his parents, on whom he was financially dependent. Single.
Celebrimbor (b. 2013), 10. His son, a fourth-grader at Himlad Elementary. Likes machines and cool facts. Alwen (b. 1993), 30. Celebrimbor’s mother and Curufin’s high school girlfriend. Lives in Valin.
Amrod (b. 2001), 22. 6’3”. Undergraduate student in Forestry. Shareholder in Ambar Metta. Moved to Beleria with his parents.
Amras (b. 2001), 22. 6’3”. Undergraduate student in Applied Biology. Shareholder in Ambar Metta. Moved to Beleria with his parents.
Indis Noldoran, née Vasiliev. (b. 1933), 90. 5’11”. Finwë’s second wife. From Valma, Aman. Lives in an eldercare home in south end of Beleria. Nerdanel and Fingolfin are her most frequent visitors.
Findis Noldoran (b. 1962), 61. 5’9”. Finwë and Indis’ first child. Lives in Valin.
Elemmír��. Her wife.
Fingolfin Noldoran (b. 1963), 60. 6’. Finwë and Indis’ second child. Founder and owner of Hithlum Properties. Moved to Beleria, Endor with his family in 2017 during the recession in Aman.
Anairë Noldoran (b. 1959). 64. 5’6”. Fingolfin’s wife. A clinical counsellor.
Their children:
Fingon (b. 1989), 34. 5’11”. Firefighter. In a common-law relationship with Maedhros.
Turgon (b. 1992), 31. 6’6”. Postdoc in urban planning at Ondolindë University. Best friends with his cousin Finrod.
Elenwë (b. 1992), 31. 5’4”. His wife. School teacher at Tumladen Elementary. Was nearly killed in 2019 when her car, also carrying Idril (who was unharmed), was hit by a maintenance truck owned by Ambar Metta, for which she received no financial compensation after the company won a lawsuit blaming the City for black ice on the roads. Idril (b. 2018), 5. Their daughter, a first-grader at Tumladen Elementary.
Aredhel (b. 1993), 30. 5’10”. Divorced in 2022 after five-year relationship with Eöl. Temporarily living with Turgon and Elenwë. Yoga teacher searching for a more stable career. In a relationship with Celegorm, who was her boyfriend prior to Eöl.
Maeglin Lómion (b. 2019), 4. Aredhel’s son with Eöl over whom she has full custody. A kindergartner at Tumladen Elementary.
Argon (b. 1997), 26. 6’5”. Moved back to Valin. Close with Fingon.
Lalwen Noldoran (b. 1965), 58. 5’7”. Third child of Finwe and Indis. Owner of a Nordic spa near Beleria. Moved there at the same time as Fingolfin. Single, no children.
Finarfin Noldoran (b. 1968), 55. 5’10”. Fourth child of Finwe and Indis. Cinematographer and occasional film director. Moved to Beleria in 2021, after most of his children had already done so.
Eärwen (b. 1966), 57. Finarfin's wife. Former Olympic swimmer. Now a motivational speaker and author.
Their children:
Finrod (b. 1996), 27. 5’11”. MA Human Geography. Works at a coffee shop. Can’t stop travelling, does not know what he’s doing with his life. Lives with Curufin. Best friends with his cousin, Turgon. Single.
Orodreth (b. 1998), 25. 5’10”. Joined the military, to the befuddlement of his family. Of his siblings, only Finrod gets him. In a relationship.
Angrod (b. 2000), 23. 6’. Recent graduate and volleyball player. Didn’t make pro leagues. Coaches high school volleyball. Single.
Aegnor (b. 2002), 20. 6’1”. Student, varsity volleyball player. Single.
Galadriel (b. 2003), 19. 5’10”. Second-year undergraduate student in psychology at Ondolindë University. Varsity swimmer. Single.
The Singh-Goels
Elu Singh-Goel (b. 1960, Cuivien), 63. 6’7”. Mayor of Beleria. Immigrated to Endor in 1970.
Dr. Melian Goel (b. 1957), 66. Professor of Pyschology at Ondolindë University, planning retirement to become a tarot card reader and astrologist.
Their children:
Lúthien (b. 1989), 34. Director of Neldoreth Dance Company. Engaged to Beren.
Daeron (b. 1994), 29. 5’7”. Collections Assistant for Beleria City Archives. Singer-songwriter and local history vlogger. BA Linguistics. Environmental activist. Vegetarian. Bisexual. In a relationship and lives with Maglor.
Beren Escarra (b. 1998), 25. Former Dorthon oilsands worker. Son of refugees, father deceased and mother in long term care. Currently Volunteer Coordinator for an environmental conservation group. Vegan. Foraging enthusiast. Engaged to Lúthien.
Their friends and acquaintances
Húrin, 32. buddy of Beren's who works up north.
Morwen Ethel-Wang, 33. His wife. A pharmacist. Pregnant with their second child.
Túrin, 9. Their son.
Miscellaneous Residents
Eöl (b. 1983), 40. Former Alquin ferry engineer, laid off when Fëanor Finvesen privatised the ferry service. Aredhel’s ex-husband and Maeglin’s father. Single.
Círdan (b. 1955), 68. Park ranger at Eglarest Beach. “Communist” (when it suits him). Old friend of Elu. Single, no children.
Rúmil, 70. Friend of Fëanor, developing an app with him.
Celeborn, 19. Student.
Galathil, 21. Student, Celeborn’s brother.
Beleg, 20. Student and intern for the City of Beleria.
Mablung, 20. Student and intern for the City of Beleria.
Edhellos, 18. Student. Friend of Galadriel. Has a crush on Angrod.
Nellas, 19. Friend of Galadriel. Dancer with Neldoreth Dance Company and friend of Lúthien.
Saeros Green, a flamboyant and corrupt music producer. Offered Daeron a record deal which he declined.
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ts1989fanatic · 1 year
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Taylor Swift's fans are renowned for their loyalty and dedication.
Known colloquially as "Swifties," they sell out stadiums in minutes; spend weeks creating intricate outfits that pay tribute to her albums; comb through her lyrics to find Easter eggs and secret messages.
Back in November, the fandom received national attention for taking action after Ticketmaster bungled the Eras Tour presale.
The backlash was so loud and so fervent that the Department of Justice launched an antitrust investigation into Ticketmaster's parent company. The power of Swifties became clearer than ever.
Indeed, the sheer passion of Swift's fans has helped make her the biggest pop star in the world — but that doesn't grant them absolute access to her life and personal space.
Recently, Swift obsessives have been exhibiting overzealous — and frankly concerning — behavior. Videos have circulated online that show swarms of people camping outside her home in New York City and Electric Lady Studios, where she's been spotted working in between tour dates. Other clips show fans chasing her car down the street.
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It's one thing to wait for hours in the pouring rain to watch Swift deliver a spectacular concert. That's her job. It's another, more sinister thing to wait for hours on the sidewalk, just to film her car entering her home garage. That's her life.
Swift has been candid about fending off stalkers throughout her career, making this behavior particularly egregious for anyone who claims to care about her well-being.
"My fear of violence has continued into my personal life," she wrote for Elle in 2019. "I carry QuikClot army-grade bandage dressing, which is for gunshot or stab wounds. Websites and tabloids have taken it upon themselves to post every home address I've ever had online. You get enough stalkers trying to break into your house and you kind of start prepping for bad things."
This is not to say that Swift's most fervent fans are all stalkers, but it's easy to see how this behavior could be triggering for someone who's been stalked. And as Swift said in her "Miss Americana" documentary in 2020, "There's a difference between 'I really connect with your lyrics' and 'I'm going to break in.'" Some Swifties clearly need to be reminded of where that line is.
This is also not the first time Swifties have overstepped. Some fans have been known to harass members of the LGBTQ community for analyzing Swift's songs through a queer lens. Others have sent insults and death threats to music critics for less-than-glowing reviews of Swift's music.
Of course, this behavior isn't unique to Swifties. But Swift's lack of admonition is uniquely strange. She has marketed herself as someone who's not afraid to speak up to defend her values, someone who has explicitly condemned homophobes and bullies in her music.
Swift has also said she's proud of her affectionate relationship with fans. She has invited Swifties to her Nashville home for album listening parties; sent personalized notes to celebrate milestones; donated money for college tuitions; protected concertgoers from aggressive security guards.
Unfortunately, a healthy relationship cannot be sustained with affection alone, be it interpersonal or parasocial.
At the risk of sounding like a wannabe therapist, constructive feedback is essential for growth — and when someone you love disrespects your boundaries, it's not constructive to say silent.
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This is something that Phoebe Bridgers, Swift's friend and collaborator, knows all too well.
Although Bridgers experiences fame on a vastly different level than Swift, she has also been subjected to abuse and entitlement at the hands of "people with my picture as their Twitter picture."
In a March interview with Them, Bridgers said she was "bullied" in the midst of a speculative frenzy about her dating life — while she was on the way to her father's funeral.
"I've had people take more than I'm giving, and I'm giving a lot," Bridgers recently told the Wall Street Journal. "I'm pretty fucking transparent, because I would value that in someone whose music I liked when I was a kid. Seeing any representation of any feeling and anything true was awesome to me. To be punished for that is so dark."
"There's a higher chance that you'll meet a fan that you hate than a fan that you love," she added. "You're way more likely to be confronted with someone who just violated your privacy."
If these quotes rub you the wrong way, you may be the problem.
Connecting to a person's music does not give you the right to violate her privacy, and Bridgers isn't afraid to draw that line. I wish more musicians would follow suit.
Ahead of Bridgers' final performance at the Eras Tour on Sunday, I hope Swift is able to absorb some of her bravery and wisdom. It's OK to criticize people for bad behavior — and the fans who stick around are the ones worth keeping.
ts1989fanatic
Even the media can get it right on occasion, the recent behaviour by some so called swifties is bordering on STALKING and needs to stop.
Unless we all want to go back to why she disappeared again.
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himbo-in-limbo · 2 years
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The Artisan (she/they) is a ooman that lives in the heart of a busy yautja city where she spends hours on end painting the most beautiful hunters and warriors alike.
Her art has become so infamous that her slots are usually booked months in advanced, to which even an elite has trouble landing a spot. Furthermore, this has had a funny effect on the locals as once in a while she will take a break from her current painting and seek out “new inspiration” so she leaves her private studio and goes on walks with her trusty guard to find a new muse.
So you will often see blooded hunters and elites shamelessly parade around in their finest attire/armor trying to get the attention of the Artisan to see if they can snatch a free painting. (Rumors spread that the Artisans paintings can make someone look highly appealing??) Almost immediately the muse of that day is sought after by many suitors 😵‍💫
Anyways, many yautja respect the Artisan for the dedication she puts to her craft. As well as the fact that she’ll encourage hunters to tell tales of their travels and hunts as to help pass the time. (kinda acts like a therapist at times)
Im sure there’s more lore I forgot to add but I’ll add em on future posts if I remember em ❤️
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Oh yeah she’s also madly in love with Wolf lmao (this pic is a drawing of when she first saw him)
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harmonyhealinghub · 1 month
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The Fear Weaver Shaina Tranquilino August 16, 2024
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Jenna sat in her small apartment, the neon lights of the city flickering through the window like ghosts of opportunities lost. A week had passed since she lost her job as a game designer at Infinity Studios, a position she had poured her soul into. Her dismissal came without warning—budget cuts, they said. But Jenna knew the truth: her ideas were too unorthodox, too risky for a company that favoured profit over innovation. The first few days of unemployment were a blur of self-doubt and anxiety. She questioned her worth, replayed every mistake, and wondered if she’d ever design again. But in the quiet moments, when the world outside her window calmed, a different kind of thought began to surface—a question: What if she could create something that truly mattered, something that went beyond entertainment?
That night, as rain tapped against the glass, Jenna found herself sketching on an old tablet. The idea had been brewing for years, but she had never dared to pitch it—too personal, too niche. But now, with nothing left to lose, she let her imagination take over.
She called it "The Fear Weaver."
The concept was simple, yet revolutionary: a virtual reality world designed to help people confront and conquer their deepest fears and insecurities. Unlike traditional VR games, The Fear Weaver wouldn’t be about escape. It would be about immersion, about facing the things that held people back in the real world.
Jenna worked tirelessly, coding through the nights, sculpting landscapes that mirrored the human psyche—dark forests representing loneliness, towering cliffs symbolizing fear of failure, endless mazes for insecurity. Each environment was designed to evoke a specific emotional response, challenging players to navigate and overcome.
But it wasn’t just the environments that made The Fear Weaver special. Jenna knew that real change came from within, so she developed an AI companion named Solis. Solis would guide players, offering encouragement, insights, and reflections. Unlike any AI before, Solis could adapt to the player's progress, providing a personalized journey through their fears.
As the project neared completion, Jenna faced a new fear—releasing it to the world. What if people didn’t understand it? What if they found it too intense, too raw? But she pushed those doubts aside. The Fear Weaver wasn’t just a game; it was a chance for people to heal, to grow.
The day of the launch arrived. Jenna released The Fear Weaver online, offering it for free to anyone willing to try. The response was slow at first, a handful of downloads trickling in. But then, something incredible happened. Word spread, not through flashy ads or influencers, but through the testimonies of those who had played.
People began sharing their stories: a man who had struggled with social anxiety found himself able to speak at his sister's wedding; a young woman, haunted by a childhood trauma, finally felt a sense of peace after confronting it within the game. The Fear Weaver was more than a game—it was a mirror, a guide, and a companion on a journey of self-discovery.
Soon, therapists began incorporating The Fear Weaver into their practices, and support groups formed around it. Jenna’s inbox flooded with messages of gratitude, stories of transformation, and requests for new environments. The Fear Weaver was no longer just a project—it was a movement.
As Jenna sat in her apartment, watching the numbers grow, she realized something profound. Losing her job had been the catalyst for creating something far more meaningful than she could have ever achieved at Infinity Studios. The Fear Weaver was her legacy, proof that her ideas weren’t too unorthodox—they were exactly what the world needed.
And as for Jenna, she had faced her own fears in the process. She was no longer the designer who had lost her job; she was the creator who had found her purpose.
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rosesradio · 2 months
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i’m posting a thing that’s not fanfic for the first time, i guess it’s an original work. it’s just my commentary on things i guess, it reads like a black mirror episode lol
tw: thought inspection, suicide mention, bigotry mention
word count: 1.3k
All this trouble, you think. All this screen time on the news, covering up every other issue...
You wished their time would come to an end. That it would all come to an end.
Your phone vibrated in your pocket, and you took a look at the screen:
Hey, said the little notification from TIC. That wasn't very nice. You should demonstrate more empathy for others! 🙂
A cold chill ran down your spine as your fingers came up to lightly touch the back of your neck. There was a chip there, small and unassuming, like Doc Ock's in Spider-Man. Like that chip, you knew full well that it would not serve you.
Want a quieter TIC experience? Upgrade to TIC Plus starting at $14.99.
You remembered going on a forum, one of the last places that was not asking for your government ID, and looking through the discussions. Someone was discussing a hate group gathering in a nearby city; they'd been hurling racial slurs at children.
I don't get it, one of the forum members started, isn't the TIC giving you notifications to cut that shit out? Show more empathy or smth.
Idk, another member replied, his hand proudly raised in his profile picture. Got TIC plus, I'm not dealing with that shit. Freedom of speech.
It probably doesn't matter, a third forum member replied. They pay, they get to stay—that's the TIC way.
The dig was subtle, though you had seen the comment live for a whole two minutes before a large This comment has been deleted by TIC for the safety of minors viewing text took its place.
Strangely enough, you never saw this kind of message for the hate speech on the forum. Perks of TIC plus, you supposed.
Swallowing, you ignored your own notification in favor of rummaging through your fridge for sliced meat and cheese. There was a nostalgia for the days in which you could afford more ingredients for your favorite foods, but—well, the stores didn't sell much of anything anymore. No one can afford anything, but you were lucky you could still make a good sandwich.
As for the TIC, you tried not to think about it when you could help it. Then again, you knew about the white bear experiment—the more you tried to push something out of your mind, the more it popped up.
Repetition helped. It drove you up the wall, but you found the TIC wouldn't harass you with more than one notification if you only thought one prompting thought repeatedly.
The TIC, or the Thought Impediment Center, was still new. It was all anyone could talk about for a year. There was excuse after excuse to explain its existence:
Our handy notifications reach out to tell you that you are not alone during a mental health crisis. Try BetterHelp and get matched with a five-star therapist today!
With this recording of data, we will be able to ensure criminals face charges during the planning period. Crime will go down in droves!
They were right about that. Everything went down in droves. Hollywood had to shut down because of the sheer amount of attention one studio got during their work on a heist movie.
When you thought about it, you were one of the lucky ones, getting one so late in the game. It came in layers—if you don't get one, you can't get food stamps. If you don't get one, you can't get medical care. As if those things weren’t hard enough to access already. College is what got you. You thought about dropping out, but you had to keep going—you couldn't just drop out and give up your dream job.
You didn't dream of work, of course. However, being a librarian seemed like a perfect fit for you.
After that interview last week, though...
You sighed, buttering up your bread and assembling your sandwich on the pan.
You had interviewed for a librarian assistant position last week, though you were rejected for two key reasons.
One was because you had a master's degree, and not your doctorate. Not to mention you only had five years of experience instead of seven. It made sense now that you thought about it—why would you be qualified for that position, with its thirty-two thousand dollar salary? No, you were much better off at the donut shop. It wasn't a bad place at all, though it wasn't where you wanted to remain forever.
The other reason you didn't get hired...
To be fair, the TIC-checking was new. How were you supposed to be prepared for it?
The lady at the interview, a kind, grandmotherly looking woman named Janine, voiced that she was also not a fan of the new TIC checking.
"The TIC in general is a bit of nonsense to me," she said. Her phone vibrated. "Sorry...I had to get one. Otherwise they were going to cut funding for the library, and..." her phone vibrated again, and she huffed. "I wouldn't feel quite so bad if they didn't take my family's chocolate chip cookie recipe. I'm sure you've heard of the Miller's chocolate chip cookie recipe by now?"
You had. You'd used the damn recipe, and the cookies were great. You shook your head for Janine’s sake. That seemed to help her feel better.
Ignoring the barrage of notifications, you had thought about how the TIC had come to the rescue of companies as they had lost money due to online censorship. People logged off social media sites, so they lost money in advertising. They had to have a revenue to make up for that.
It wasn’t just TIC Plus, or it’s advertising. It was the selling of data to third parties. That was nothing new, though this time, it was selling your thoughts. That was how Janine Miller’s family cookie recipe was sold to allrecipes.
At least it was just a cookie recipe. You had heard of Kaitlyn Johnson on the news, the twenty-one year old who had taken her own life after her pornographic thoughts had been sold to ChatGPT 7.2. They’d recreated them and sold the videos featuring her without her consent to sites across the internet.
That was why you had tried to suppress your thoughts as much as possible, though you knew that one day, you would slip up.
It didn’t matter, because as Janine Miller searched through the TIC-provided record of your thoughts over the past couple days, she found the exact sort of information she needed.
It was everything she couldn’t have in an employee. You thought about how much you loathed TIC, how much you loathed the job market and the housing market and the government and the advertising. The censorship, the restriction, the hate in the world. There was even a fleeting sexual fantasy or two, as you could no longer access smut without presenting your government ID. God forbid if you wanted to get off for the first time in weeks, right?
Your thoughts, restricted as they may be, held a fraction of the vitriol and imperfection of humanity you held in your heart.
With your thoughts laid out loud and clear, the only thing Janine Miller could do was look at you. Her gentle eyes were pitiful—perhaps a little disgusted, as if you were a writhing bug on the sidewalk.
She said sorry.
Eyes stinging, you nodded.
And you went home.
You’d cried for an hour or more, no longer caring if your four roommates could hear.
You wanted it all to end.
You had a migraine.
Your phone vibrated. Your mind rang as you heard that familiar feminine voice read your notification:
Suffering from headaches and migraines? Try Excedrin Migraine Pain relief! Guaranteed results in less than 30 minutes!
Swallowing, hands shaking where they rested against the countertop, you nodded.
Added to cart.
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smileweakandwrong · 2 months
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Sitting outside and reflecting on life as one does and man, maybe I don’t always appreciate how comparatively good things are but I’m feeling extra appreciative today. Just sitting in the backyard of the house I own with the wonderful partner I’m lucky to have spent the last nine years with as we approach our second wedding anniversary. Sitting on the new big deck that my father drove 15 hours to come help build with my father in-law because I’m lucky to not only have a family that supports me, but also in-laws who are just as supportive. I’m lucky that I’ve got a handful of friends that I love fiercely even if I don’t get to see them as much as I’d like (or haven’t had the pleasure of actually meeting in person yet).
But if you had of told me ten years ago that this is where I’d be today I absolutely wouldn’t have believed it. Ten years ago I was two months into living on my own for the first time in a tiny studio apartment smaller than the nice new back deck I’m currently sitting on. I was getting ready to turn 25, had recently gone through a devastating breakup, and was living in a city that was still new to me with no family or friends outside of a few coworkers and my ex-still-best friend who I moved there for in the first place. It was awful but I was too stubborn to go crawling back home and give the people who said I was making a mistake by uprooting my life for a girl the satisfaction of being right.
The shoebox-sized apartment was in a sketchy part of the city and had no AC in a place that hits 40°C in the summer, but they let me move in on short notice with two Great Danes and a cat. I could barely make ends meet, couldn’t afford internet so survived on watching the same dvds over and over. Being alone also let the trauma that I’d spent 8 years suppressing rise to the surface in a god-awful wave of ptsd. I was so hyper-vigilant that I couldn’t bring myself to go into the busy grocery store so got by on whatever I could buy at the corner store next to the apartment. I drank way too much, started self harming again after years of not, and lost a ton of weight. And I was dealing with it alone because I didn’t want to burden anyone with my struggles.
It got bad. Then, eventually, it got a little better. I found a therapist who was well versed in trauma and even though my insurance only covered a handful of sessions it still gave me some tools to break the ptsd pattern. I finally saw that my ex had been right, we weren’t good together but are good as friends. I was able to start taking better care of myself. I embraced my new city. Some months later I met my now wife and was in a position to let myself be open with someone and start a healthy relationship.
Has it always been easy? Definitely not. Do I still battle awful anxiety almost always? Yes, but I’m ten years sh-free and have a life and a partner and a home that I love and that’s worth the hard days.
Basically, as cliche as it is, the bad does get better even if it never fully goes away. If anyone is having a hard time and needs someone to talk to I’m always around. I don’t want anyone else feeling like they have to struggle alone the way I did.
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lauvra · 2 months
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I shot guns in a videogame. I abstained from sex and masturbation. I quit caffeine. I wrote your last words, painted over them then turned them into an acrostic poem. I smoked one cigarette every ten minutes to fill a rental apartment with smoke and my lungs with tar. I sugar-soaped the walls and moved into the crawlspace of a place by the beach. I ushered the wrong people into forgiveness and said far too much to curious folks who didn't care. I wouldn't watch romance in movies or hug men. I danced in gay clubs and bought drugs. I walked on the opposite side of the street from the bar. I screamed while my friends apologised to strangers, laughed and corrected chairs in my path of destruction. You messaged a day later, asked how I was doing, "fine," I said. I drank coffee 'til 2am and sold my car. I leaned over the rooftop facing Luna Park, looking for you in happy strangers on the street below. I put the link in bio. I took on debt to move farther from you but ended up in a studio beside a skate park. Yikes. With each move I refused to let others carry your painting, fearing they'd damage it. I tanned, stretched, lifted iron and listened to subliminal sleep tapes for self esteem. I quit smoking and stopped answering calls. I caught planes not caring whether they'd land. I underlined text in A Lover's Discourse in Prahran square. I bought a piano and passed you in the rain. I convinced myself I caused the earthquake. I had a second ocean baptism and got a new job. When I panicked in the second week, my boss said "this is about a larger thing". I watched milestone fireworks and felt nothing. I grew sharp claws, painted them cherry red. You walked past me standing with a friend as I launched into cruel criticism of someone from before we'd met. Karma, I guess. I lived by your perception and treated everybody with suspicion. I got a gym membership and therapist. He said "maybe you aren't ready to change yet". I touched a petal on every roadside flower and thought about something you said. I mouthed thank-you in silence at pedestrian crossings remembering "they can't hear you!" I got a new job and two cherubs tattooed on my forearm. The cops did a welfare check. I went on a date to a jazz bar, then an open mic poetry night and fled before it finished. I wrote you bad, I wrote you fair, I wrote you real. I had sex with a divorcee. I sang sad things and sought religious experiences at gigs. I met with a deployed American with a penchant for gore thinking maybe he'd kill me, a mercy, then didn't give him a good enough opportunity. I searched up, beneath and inside. I bought a gold ring to feel a little like you at the end of each day. I wished the non-follower view was you, knowing it was not. I got a new job and moved to the other side of the city then wrote I was free. Two weeks later you tagged all down my street. My bad, another Goliath mishap. Fuck. I brushed my hands against the paint, drank four bottles of wine in one week and wrote in recollection. I moved again and quit the workforce. I had Penny's teeth cleaned, mine pulled and stumbled through the city in a borrowed jacket. I wondered what exactly you were so afraid you'd say under general anaesthetic. I forgot I, then remembered again. I put a painting in an exhibit, got a new therapist and joined a support group. I've walked you off, taken over a thousand showers, laughed, cried, scowled, searched obituaries and whispered sorry too quietly for the wind to carry. I've read, turned you into art, prayed for and ignored you, envied people you moved onto 3 months later, forgiven you but still can't walk past the stranger I loved on Rose Street without my knees weakening. But really, when I write to you it's merely a brick wall I'm speaking to, and it's as Steinbeck once said: money removes the charge of insanity. I never gained a penny for my grief. I realise in going forward, it was real for me but you were right, we have nothing to say to one another. I've felt, thought and said it all. You were more precise: "All good, I'm out."
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