#There's a possibility that it could be David or Billie or any of the old doctors or even Romana

[alrightieaphroditie]

take the edge off | e.m. series masterlist! | next part!

pairing *:･ﾟ eddie munson x female! reader wc *:･ﾟ 3.7 k warnings *:･ﾟ mentions of drugs (weed) and talk of events that happened in s3! an *:･ﾟ ahh i have officially written my first fanfic ever!! this is very exciting for me but also makes me kinda nervous, hehe. i hope this leads to me writing many more, though, bc this shit is lowkey therapeutic. anyways, this is kind of unedited, so if any major errors jump out at you while you're reading, please let me know so that i can fix it! this is like a soft!eddie type fic bc i was just in the mood for it last night! i appreciate any and all feedback!

synopsis *:･ﾟyou're exhausted, feeling burnt out, and your neighbor won't stop practicing guitar with his amp turned as loudly as possible. you need a pick-me up, and eddie munson has just the thing.

you were desperate. at least, that seemed to be the only logical explanation you could think of as to why you were walking across the graveled road towards eddie munson's trailer late at night in your pajamas.

of course, if anyone asked max why you went over in the first place, she'd tell them that you were just asking eddie to turn down his amp. munson was notorious for practicing his guitar late at night, and most nights you and max didn't mind the background noise. in fact, on the nights where max couldn't sleep, the nights where she would cling to you while you both sat on the couch. you comfort her as much as you can while wiping her tears and running your hand through her hair softly, and you appreciated the noise then. you created a game for those nights, telling max to close her eyes, to listen to the chords he struck loudly, and guess which song he had decided that he needed to learn that week. it seemed to calm her enough, and you always made her laugh when you suggested that eddie was finally learning a david bowie song.

as if.

but tonight was not one of those nights. tonight, you had worked two shifts at the family video in town (somehow keith hired you even though your top three movies were breakfast at tiffany's, the aristocats, and the dark crystal) and then went straight to the police station, where you were helping flo sort through files and answering phone calls. max was sitting at the table in the kitchen area when you got home, multiple books and notebooks flung about the small space. the table was where the two of you had spent the last few hours as you tried helping max study for her biology exam at the end of the week. you could tell she was seconds way from ripping her hair out of her head, and you, well you were barely hanging on yourself.

working two jobs in hawkins while living at a trailer park was not what you had envisioned for yourself when you moved out a year ago to attend college. you lasted two semesters, came back home to visit your family, and then your world turned upside down. literally. a few weeks after getting settled at your old house, max confided in you that she was worried about billy. she wouldn't exactly tell you why, but you promised you'd try talking to him. you never truly cared for your stepbrother, but max, for whatever reason, had a very small soft spot in her heart for him, and you wanted to take care of your sister. he was the same asshole he'd always been when you spoke to him the next day, slamming the door in your face as he walked away in his red swim shorts and white tank top. you thought nothing more of it.

it wasn't until you got home late one night from being with your friends when you saw billy carrying bag after bag of ice to his bedroom. he looked feverish, but despite your questions, he insisted that he was fine. later that night, max ran into your bedroom, shaking and panting. she'd had a nightmare, and this was when she finally gave in and confessed to you some of the events that had happened the previous year. you learned all about eleven, a girl who had some kind of power, and the truth about what went down at the hawkins lab. it was only a matter of time before you were recruited by max's friends, and you were one of the few who knew the truth of what happened at the starcourt mall. one of the few inside the mall when the mind flayer attacked.

max had been immediately affected by the events of the night, by billy's death. she had shut down, became a shell of the person she used to be. every now and then you'd catch a glimpse of the girl she used to be, but it disappeared just as quickly as you caught it. you, on the other hand, had responded to things a little differently. after billy's death, his father left your mother. not officially declaring a divorce, but there wasn't much hope for the marriage if one spouse was in california while the other was in indiana. your mom struggled to keep her job, turning to drinking to cope with the loss of a stepson and her husband, almost forgetting that she still had two daughters to care for. you knew you couldn't go back to college after this, and so you withdrew, moved back home, and have been helping keep things afloat as much as you could. you needed to be the person max could rely on during these times, and so you kept your emotions and struggles to yourself.

usually, that wasn't an issue. you had become one of reefer rick's most reliable customers, seeking him out to buy weed whenever you could spare some of your hard-earned money. that solution worked for about half a year, and then rick got busted by the cops. you had run out of your stash a few weeks ago and were starting to see the results of not being able to smoke. your thoughts wouldn't stop running a mile a minute, and every time you closed your eyes, you saw billy. you got cranky, becoming irritated more easily, and a perpetual migraine sat at the back of your head.

on this night in particular, you had already snapped at a guest when they tried convincing you to let them take home another movie even though they already had the max out, and you shouted at officer callahan when he accidently dumped your cup of coffee out in the sink because he thought you were done with it. all you wanted to do was lay in bed and cry, but when you saw max at the table, you knew that wasn't happening any time soon. and then eddie freaking munson started to play his damn guitar when it was almost the middle of the night.

a soft march breeze flittered throughout the night, and you wrapped your oversized brown flannel around your middle as you stepped through the grass to the few stairs leading up to eddie's door. it was then that you immediately regretted coming out, only for the fact that you were wearing a tank top and shorts under the flannel. you almost turned around and went back to max, but as you started down the stairs, eddie struck a chord that made your head throb, and that was that.

"munson!" you shouted, banging a fist on the trailer door a few times. you shifted your weight, holding your flannel closed with one hand as you waited a moment before starting to knock again. "eddie!"

the incessant noise abruptly stopped and, feeling satisfied with yourself, you started to march down the wooden stairs, thinking about making some hot chocolate for you and max. you had just reached the grass when you heard the door to the trailer fling open, causing you to spin around. in the doorway stood eddie munson, wearing a white t-shirt and pair of red plaid pajama pants, leaning forward a bit as he held open the screen door. his big brown eyes found yours immediately, and you watched as a cheshire cat grin spread across his face.

"well, well, well. if it isn't miss mayfield standing at the edge of my humble abode. to what do i owe the pleasure?" he asked, moving forward on the small landing. he leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms over his chest as he stared at you, the grin never leaving his face. despite the breeze, you felt your face heat with a blush.

eddie munson was no stranger to you. namely, he had quite the reputation of being a freak, what with his heavy metal band corroded coffin and his supposed satan-worshipping hellfire club. you knew the later was a nothing more than a stupid fear, though, as max's friends were all involved in the club. every time you worked with steve harrington at family video, you were subjected to listening to dustin henderson speak nothing but praises for eddie himself. and you trusted dustin, had no reason to believe otherwise. you had also gone to school with eddie, though you weren't really sure he remembered that fact. he was supposed to have graduated before you, and then with you, and now, after you. you'd even had a few classes together, but you knew he spent more time not being in class than he ever did in it, so you honestly didn't really expect him to know you. even these last few months that you've lived across from him, you've never interacted with one another. just some stolen glimpses when you're arriving home and he's leaving, or vice versa.

you must admit that you did foster a bit of a crush for him when you were in the same grade, and now, with him standing above you, gazing down at you with his brown eyes, you were starting to remember exactly why you felt that way. clearing your throat, you copied his pose, crossing your arms across your chest. "i was just coming over to ask you to turn down your amp a bit, please. max has had a rough day." you weren't completely lying to him. you really did need him to quiet down otherwise you were worried your head might genuinely explode from the migraine. however, you also knew from rick that eddie also dabbled in selling drugs, and again...you were desperate.

he studied you for a moment, the sounds of crickets chirping filling the silence, before pushing himself off the doorway. he gripped the railing of the landing between his hands, leaning forward slightly, and in the glow of the streetlights you could see the silver metal of the rings adorning his fingers. "ah, max is the one having a rough day, yeah? is that why you look like you're five seconds away from bursting into tears on my lawn?" he drawled out, cocking his head to the side as he questioned you. his accusation caused your eyes to widen, and you forced yourself to take a few deep breaths. you were not about to lose your cool in front of eddie munson.

"let's just say we've both had a rough day, then. i'm trying to help her study for her biology exam and she can't focus with all the noise coming from here." you state, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. eddie's eyes squinted down at you, and you could see his nose scrunch as he scoffs at you.

"it's not just noise, mayfield. it's music. i'm not surprised you don't know the difference, though, considering all you do is blast bowie and fleetwood mac." you can tell by his voice that he was irritated, and you almost have to stifle a laugh. he's shaking his head slightly, his wavy hair falling around his shoulders. he sees your grin, though, and he pauses. "is something funny?" he asks, moving one of his hands up to grab a piece of his hair and twirling it in front of his face.

"you can't diss stevie nicks, eddie. that's, like, sacrilegious," you tease, your grin growing a little wider as you speak. you've always known how passionate eddie was for his music, and that was honestly something you respected him for. he wasn't afraid to simply be himself, even if this town hated him for it. eddie munson wasn't a freak, he just had unique interests that made him stand out. and in hawkins, standing out was the last thing anyone wanted to do.

eddie continues to twirl his hair around his finger for a moment before throwing his hands out wide. "oh, haven't you heard? i'm a devil worshipper, y/n. being sacrilegious is the least of my worries," he declares, taking a few dramatic steps down the stairs. he stops when he's in front of you, and you realize how much taller he is as you tilt your head back slightly to maintain eye contact. your fingers fiddle nervously with the buttons on your flannel, but you don't back down.

"devil worshipper or not, it's very childlike of you to be judging others for their taste in music just because it doesn't match your own. i'm not hating on you for playing metallica at all hours of the night, just simply asking you to turn it down a notch." you reply, suddenly wondering how the conversation strayed this way. and how he knew what music you liked to listen to. this was a mistake, you thought, maybe i should just take a bath instead of smoke tonight. with that decided, you gave eddie a small wave before starting to back trek to your trailer.

"you could tell that i was playing metallica tonight?" eddie called out at you from behind suddenly. with a sigh, you turned back around, catching him looking at you with an eyebrow raised. you couldn't help but roll your eyes. "yes, munson, i could tell it was metallica. it's their newest song, right?" you asked, putting your hands on your hips as you stood in the middle of the gravel road. you could tell that your response shocked eddie, and it made you smile. "i don't just listen to bowie and fleetwood mac, hon."

those big brown eyes of his widened, and suddenly a smile lit up his face. "there are layers to you, mayfield. i like it," he whispered while pointing a finger at you. "you know, i've actually heard a lot about you, my lady. especially from my dear friend, rick." his grin grew even bigger with his last remark, and it was your turn to look at him with a raised eyebrow. you couldn't fathom why rick would talk about you to anyone, least of all eddie munson. it wasn't like rick knew everything there was to know about you, but sometimes he would let you try out a new strain of weed he had gotten, and you never could control what slipped from your mouth then. that's why you always preferred getting high in the comfort of your own bedroom.

"and are you planning on sharing what you've heard, or are you just trying to hang it over my head?" you asked, tilting your head to the side slightly. your hair fell down your face, and eddie's eyes trailed the movement, causing your face to flush as you pushed it back. he began pacing, occasionally glancing at you before leaning against the railing of the stairs, reaching behind him to hold on to the wood.

"i'm sure it's stuff you already know," he joked, winking at you as he laughed. when eddie laughs, his whole face lights up. his eyes get bright, his smile so wide that you can see the lines around his mouth curve. it's the type of reaction that makes you want to try to get him to laugh again, even if it's at your expense. you watch as he squats down, his plaid pants tightening around his thighs as he runs a finger through the grass in front of him.

"it's mostly just the basics, i guess. you dropped outta school, picked up two jobs, started being very motherly towards your dear sister. i can only imagine how stressed out you must be. makes a man wonder how you handle it all," he tilts his head up to look at you, a mischievous glint in his eyes. you immediately understand the direction he's going with his, and it's enough to make you roll your eyes.

"eddie, if you're talking to reefer rick about me, i'm pretty sure you can imagine what i'm doing to handle my stress." your gaze is as heated as your tone, and he definitely picks up on that. he holds his hands up, frowning slightly.

"woah there, mayfield. i'm not accusing you of anything. we all need a little something now and then to take the edge off. your secret is safe with me," he tosses you another wink, and you push down the wave of butterflies it sends to your stomach. you really should be going back inside, back to max. she's probably wondering what's taking you so long. and yet for some reason, you can't seem to feel the urge to actually want to leave. surprisingly, you like talking to eddie. there's something about him that's so disarming, and there's a part of you that wants to sit on the grass next to him and talk to him until the sun rises.

you watch as he stands back up, wiping his hands off against his pants. "in fact," he continues, giving you a glance before moving to jump up the steps. "i think you could use a little something right now. you feelin' on the edge tonight, mayfield?" he asks, almost softly, gazing down at you with his big eyes. his tone is teasing, but his eyes show how genuine he is in asking that. how much he actually does care. it's his eyes that essentially bring down your walls, and you find yourself wrapping your arms around your middle and nodding slightly in response.

"just a bit," you whisper, feeling tears burn in your eyes suddenly. too many emotions were swelling up inside you, and you felt close to breaking down, which was an unexpected turn of events for you. usually, you're able to push down these feelings until max was asleep. you'd go through the motions of getting ready for bed, but instead of heading to your bedroom, you would escape outside and sit on the stairs leading up to your front door. you would cry until you simply couldn't, and then you'd tuck your knees up under your chin and hug yourself until you felt strong enough to go back inside. you always figured the night was the safest time do let go, the time when no one else would notice you breaking down. but the look in eddie's eyes have you wondering if you've had an audience some nights.

his gaze is soft, and he has the smallest of smiles on his face, more sympathetic than anything else. he holds up a finger, muttering "one second," before dipping back into his trailer. you use this time to blow out a loud sigh, wiping your eyes with the sleeves of your flannel and trying to make yourself seem like less of a mess. you can hear a few things being knocked over or dropped in the trailer, and you walk to the bottom of the stairs, concerned. "eddie?"

he bursts out of the door quickly, nearly tripping on the doorstep. his hair flies behind him as he gathers his balance. he makes his way towards the step in front of you, grinning, and when he's near you, he holds out his hand. you see a small baggie nestled in his palm, and the urge to grab it hits you hard, but you restrain yourself. in all your desperation, you forgot a key factor needed to make this a done deal - money. just yesterday you spent what you had left of your two paychecks on helping with the electric bill and getting groceries for the three of you. what little savings you had in your account was saved back for max, in case she needed anything.

looking up, you give eddie a small smile but start to shake your head. "i really appreciate the gesture, but i... i can't really afford to buy this right now. thank you, though." at your response, eddie simply laughs and reaches down to grab your wrist. he brings your hand up and drops the baggie into your own palm dramatically, curling his fingers over yours so that you’re holding it in your fist now. you watch him with furrowed eyebrows the entire time, confused.

"no charge, mayfield. knowing that i helped you get back from the edge is enough for me, alright?" he says quietly, still holding your hand within his own. the two of you stand like that, frozen in time, for a moment before his gaze lifts over your shoulder. a grin encompasses his face, and he turns his eyes back on you. "i'd ask if you wanted to come in, but it looks like someone is waiting for you back there." he nods his head in the direction of your trailer, and you turn your head to look, catching a glimpse of max in the window before the curtain closes quickly. you can't help but laugh, and when you turn back to eddie, his eyes are locked on your hand in his.

when he realizes you're looking at him, he clears his throat and drops his hand away, shoving both of his into the pockets of his flannel pants. the action makes you blush, and in a sudden act of bravery, you tilt up on your tiptoes, leaning forward to press a small kiss against eddie's cheek. "thank you, munson."  the smell of smoke and his aftershave fills your nose as you pull away, and you start to back away slowly from the landing. eddie's head turns, and he blinks slowly, almost sleepily, and gives you one of his grins. you don't even bother trying to suppress the butterflies again.

"don't be a stranger, mayfield." he calls out at you as you make your way back to your trailer. when you reach your door, you turn back around, noticing that eddie was waiting for you to make it back. giving him a small wave, you finally head back inside, hiding the little baggie within your sleeve so that max wouldn't see it. when your door is shut, you lean against it, a soft smile tugging at your lips.

if being desperate meant having more interactions with eddie munson, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to be after all.

[hazardworld]

Dustin's a Damn Good Ally (Original) Pt. 2

Chapter 2— Twins and Poly-nailery

Ao3 Link

Originally Posted 1.1.23/Edited 9.1.23

Summary: Max has a lot of shit going on in her life

(Queer author saying queer is used both positive and negative here)

———

Dustin met Mad Max when she moved to Hawkins in 8th grade. Why her parents (or mom and stepdad) chose to move from fancy California to bum-fuck-nowhere Indiana beat him, but alas, they had, and it had brought Dustin one of his best, closest friends.

Originally, Dustin believed he had a crush on her. Soon, he realized that feeling of jealousy, of passion to prove himself, and burning love…wasn’t exactly romantic. It was 100% familial, and after the Snow Ball fiasco and the second (and hopefully last) edition of traumatic bullshit that was the Upside Down, Dustin, Max, and Steve became a little unit of melancholy daddy issue holders.

So, Max and Dustin got really damn close. Close enough that Dustin started to learn her quirks and mannerisms, how to tell if she was nervous or excited, and how to tell if she liked you or if she was just flat-out annoyed.

In the summer of 1985, Dustin noticed her becoming closer with El, and close in a way Max had only been before she started dating Lucas.

So that was something.

More and more, on his off time from dealing with the Russians and contacting Suzie, he’d see the two together, easily brush off-able as besties or bffs, but Dustin knew Max better than that.

So he did his research, because he wanted to support his sister as much as possible. Even if she didn’t know what she was feeling, he wanted to make sure she knew he loved her for it.

In 1976, David Bowie came out as bisexual.

Perfect.

Bisexuality meant she could like both Lucas and El, boys and girls.

However, that was a long shot. Maybe Max was completely over Lucas, or maybe she wanted to try something new, or maybe she didn’t even catch how her feelings were absolutely more than platonic.

So, all Dustin had to do was confront her about it, or…confront really wasn’t the right word, it made it all seem threatening and angry; Max already got enough of that in her life.

He was…talking…to her about it.

Talking worked!

Yeah.

Dustin had no idea what would happen with Billy, though.

He couldn’t predict the grief that would strike her for weeks, making her unattainable. He could understand, though, and knew to give her space. A sexuality crisis could wait until after a grief one.

It was well into September, now, a few weeks after their first day of high school, when Dustin and Max found themselves alone (or, semi-alone, Steve was downstairs in the kitchen) in Max’s new designated bedroom in the Harrington mansion.

Dustin was jealous as hell for that, side note. He knew the reason why she got it, and knew it wasn’t a great reason by any means, but he was still mad as hell Max now got to live with Steve and he didn’t. (Though he’d spend enough time there in the next few weeks for it to become their room, but he didn’t know that yet).

Dustin knew this was probably a good time to bring up the conversation he’d been putting off for about a month and a half, now, when the two of them were calm, sitting on Max’s big comfy bed. They were listening to music from an old record player, Max painting his nails a pretty purple (Eddie, the new DM at school, wore nail polish, and it was so cool).

"Hey, Max, I have a question." She looked up from his hands, eyebrows raised, and made questioning 'hmm' sound. "You…you know it’s ok if you like, girls, right?" He saw the panic immediately form on her face, "I don’t judge you, love is love…I think the saying is. Not sure." She blinked.

"I’m—I’m not gay!" So she didn’t know what bisexual meant, ok. Dustin could work with that!

"You can like guys and girls, Max. I’ve seen the way you look at Lucas and El, and it’s the same," Max’s cheeks flushed red, and her freaked gaze started to soften.

"You can…do that?" Dustin nodded, smiling slightly.

"David Bowie’s bisexual, so yeah, I think you can." Max blinked again, brow furrowing.

"Bisexual?"

"Bi, two, sexual, sexually attracted to." Dustin shrugged, "That’s the word he used to describe it, anyway." Max slowly closed the polish bottle, curling her knees to her chest in front of Dustin.

"I was so confused, I thought there was something wrong with me!" Dustin grinned.

"There’s nothing wrong with you, Max,"

"I like Lucas, and I knew I liked El, but I didn’t know if that meant if I was gay or…well, I guess you can see how that turned out, huh." They both laughed, but Dustin paused.

"You still like Lucas?" Max nodded.

"Yeah, uh, it’s weird but…I like them both? And I don’t want to have to choose, because they’re both amazing—"

"Polyamory." Max froze, eyes wide, jaw slightly dropped, "You have two hands, Max." Dustin grinned, slightly maliciously.

"Is that…there’s a term for feeling like that?" Dustin shrugged.

"I think that’s it. My mom taught it to me on the way back from camp, something about Suzie and Mormons and standards," He waved his hand, disregarding the topic, "Dunno. Either way, I think you should love whoever the fuck you want, and if it’s Lucas and El?" He shrugged nonchalantly. "Just don’t do it in the bed, man. I’m not sleeping over again if you do!" Max made a disgusted sound, and the two of them laughed.

"I’d hug you right now if your hands weren’t still drying, asshole," Dustin snickered, then his eyes widened.

"Also? Steve’s safe. Can’t really explain why, but…he won’t judge. He may be a little confused, though." Max nodded. "Wanted you to know since you’re staying here, now."

"Thanks," Dustin grinned.

"Anytime, sis."

———

Your honor, these are twins. No, I will not defend myself: this is a fact.

I've seen so many "Dustin is Steve's child" and "Max is Steve's child" to which I say "they are the trio of melancholy daddy issue holders and they are all siblings and Claudia is their Ma.

Chapter 1/6———Chapter 3/6

[offender42085]

Post 0427

Dustin Turner, Virginia Inmate 1091591, born 1975, incarceration intake in 1996 at age 21, scheduled for release 01/17/2067

Murder, Abduction (convictions overturned, later reinstated)

In 2009, an ex-Navy SEAL trainee had his murder and abduction convictions overturned after spending 13 years in prison for killing a Georgia college student who was vacationing in Virginia.

A divided Virginia Court of Appeals panel granted Dustin Turner's request for a writ of actual innocence, vacating his conviction of murder and abduction with intent to defile in the 1995 death of 21-year-old Emory University student Jennifer Evans.

Turner is the first person in Virginia to get a murder conviction overturned under a 2004 law that allows nonbiological evidence of innocence to be considered more than 21 days after sentencing.

Turner, 34, of Bloomington, Ind., was serving an 82-year sentence for killing Evans in his parked car outside a Virginia Beach nightclub in 1995. Another trainee, Billy Joe Brown, changed his story to say that he alone killed Evans.

"While Turner's conduct creates a suspicion of guilt, the evidence, viewed in the context of Brown's recantation, cannot support findings of guilt beyond a reasonable doubt," the ruling stated.

The Attorney General's Office had two weeks to ask for the full court to make a decision or a month to appeal the ruling to the Virginia Supreme Court.

David Clementson, a spokesman for the attorney general's office, said only that officials there are reviewing the opinion.

Hargett said he expected the attorney general to appeal the decision.

"The commonwealth's job more or less is to fight to keep convictions on the books," Hargett said. "They fought it this long, I don't know why this decision would change their minds, but it's certainly possible."

Turner met Evans, of Tucker, Ga., at a Virginia Beach nightclub in June 1995. He claims they were sitting in the front seat of his car talking when a drunken and belligerent Brown got into the back seat and reached around to strangle Evans.

Brown, now serving a 72-year prison term, signed a sworn statement in 2003 saying he alone killed Evans. At first the confession did Turner no good because state law required any newly discovered non-DNA evidence to be submitted within 21 days of sentencing. The 2004 law eliminated that deadline, allowing Turner to pursue his claim in court.

Last year, a circuit court judge found Brown's confession credible, putting the matter before the appeals court.

In her dissent, Judge Cleo Powell said Turner was partially responsible for Evans' death because he deceived her into leaving the club with him so that he could have sex with her, then after her death he drove to an isolated area and helped Brown dispose of Evans' partially unclothed body.

"Turner's callous disregard for Evans, displayed after her murder, is consistent with a finding that he intended to defile her before she was murdered," Powell wrote.

The appeals court found Turner guilty of being an accessory after the fact for helping conceal Evans' body. A hearing is set to determine his punishment for that crime, a misdemeanor that has a maximum punishment of one year in jail.

The state appealed the panel’s decision to the full court, and the full Court over ruled the panel’s findings.  

Turner remained incarcerated as of 2022.

2o

[redrascal1]

Another Beloved Franchise....Gone.

For those in the UK, the sci fi show Doctor Who had a HUGE following....despite its shaky sets and at times, dodgy dialogue!

But it was a much loved show.

David Tennant was my personal favourite. He was an amazing Doctor, had some great sidekicks and gave some great performances. Two stories - The Fires of Pompeii and Family of Blood - were very highly critically acclaimed and deservedly so. It also launched the acting career of former singer Billie Piper.

So, I was thrilled when he returned as the Doctor for the 60th Anniversary Special.

Only to discover it had been...obliterated by the Goddesses of Woke.

David's Doctor was repeatedly humiliated, and ridiculed by...guess what? His former female sidekick and her daughter, the former originally a lovely character who has now been through the same transformation as Rey in TROS. The entire show was little more than a way of once again asserting the 'women are superior and don't need men' trope that is becoming so very...tiresome.

I don't know any woman who wants this. 'Strong' women don't humiliate men. 'Strong women' want to be seen as a man's equal.

And guess where this 'show' was broadcast? Oh, right. on Disney+.

Disney, once the company who brought us stuff like Beauty and the Beast and The Lion King (original versions) have now become little more than a toxic organisation pushing a disturbing anti male agenda. TROS is a perfect example; ALL of the men in that were portrayed as infinitely inferior to Rey. Not just Ben, but Poe, Luke, Finn and even Palpatine - he was such a powerful Sith not even Yoda could defeat him in single combat. But, Rey, Goddess of Womanhood, managed it by crossing two lightsabres...and then, presumably because She Is The Superior One, even managed to stay corporeal after her 'death', rather than fading into the Force so that Ben Solo, last of the Skywalkers, could fulfill his family's ultimate purpose - to die to save the Last Palpatine, who of course is MUCH better than her granddad as she is 'woman'.

What the fuck are Disney playing at? Do they realise how dreary and predictable they are becoming? Does anyone want this stupid stupid dross that passes for entertainment? It's as embarrassing as it was back in the 'bad old days' where women fainted at the first sign of trouble and men were constantly fired up on testosterone.

I don't want this. Nope, sorry. Disney are going to have to learn something. Their first and foremost function is to entertain. And frankly, I don't find an endless propaganda machine about how better women are than men entertaining.

Live action Little Mermaid. Indy 5. TROS. All of these underperformed at the box office.

Willow. Cancelled after one season.

Disney refuse to listen. Instead they intend to make a possible series of films about how fantastic Rey Palpwalker is.

How long can they keep wasting money?

[denimbex1986]

'The final Doctor Who 60th anniversary special aired this weekend on Disney+. Is anyone else still walking on air over having gotten David Tennant back for three precious hours? More importantly, is anyone else wondering if that ending leaves the door open for Tennant to come back to Doctor Who in the future?

The third Doctor Who special, “The Giggle,” sees the 14th Doctor (Tennant) facing off against the Toymaker (Neil Patrick Harris), who’s planted a subliminal message in TV and computer screens to make humans follow their most irrational impulses. In the ensuing global chaos, the Doctor tries to outsmart the Toymaker, but gets mortally wounded. Why? The Toymaker has already faced two Doctors—now he wants to play with a third one. Right on cue, the Doctor begins to regenerate.

But something goes awry. Instead of regenerating as usual, the Doctor splits in half. One half is the 15th Doctor, played by Ncuti Gatwa. The other half? David Tennant’s Doctor, still kicking.

After the Toymaker is defeated (the long and short of it: he loses a game of catch), Donna (Catherine Tate) figures out why the 14th Doctor has the 10th Doctor’s face. It’s because the Doctor has a lot of unresolved trauma from his adventures, and he needs to take a break and find a home. Now, the 15th Doctor can go protect the universe, while the 14th Doctor settles down for a quiet life. With an extra TARDIS, of course.

So wait, how many David Tennants are there in the Whoniverse now?

Longtime Doctor Who fans no doubt recall that this isn’t the first time Tennant’s Doctor split off into separate people. Way back in season 4, an incident called the Meta-Crisis (the same thing that forced the Doctor to erase Donna’s memories of him) culminated in the Doctor creating a clone of himself. He sent this close to the parallel universe in which his old companion, Rose Tyler (Billie Piper) resided. The Doctor’s clone then proceeded to live out the romance with Rose that the main Doctor never got to have.

Now, the 14th Doctor is happily living with Donna and her family. So with two of Tennant’s Doctors running around, how likely is it that Tennant will return to Doctor Who at some point?

Is there any sign that David Tennant will return to Doctor Who?

So, far, sadly, there’s no definite word that David Tennant will reprise his role as the 14th Doctor at any point. That’s not a no—it just means that there haven’t been any announcements of a cameo or guest appearance yet.

And hey, come on, this is Doctor Who we’re talking about. Doctor Who loves to bring back old Doctors for team-ups and guest appearances! The 60th anniversary specials weren’t even the first time Tennant himself had returned to the franchise (although his clone didn’t appear again after season 4).

So if, like me, you’re a David Tennant fan for life—and that ending has you hoping that the 14th Doctor could pop up to help deal with a particularly gnarly villain—don’t lose hope. I’ll bet that second TARDIS is just itching for a new adventure.'

[thehylianbatman]

I’m betting David Tennant returning to Doctor Who is gonna be the Metacrisis Doctor.

Think about it. For Thirteen to de-regenerate or degenerate or whatever people are saying is gonna happen into Tennant, go and pick up Donna and Wilf from somewhere, magically fix Donna’s memories, and then run around with them for just a little while before regenerating properly and returning everything to the status quo, narratively, to me, makes no sense whatsoever.

Is it possible? Sure, absolutely. Do I think that’s what’s gonna happen? No.

First off, think about where the Metacrisis Doctor was left. He was left in a parallel world where Donna never traveled with him because the Doctor in that universe died. This means that Donna’s memories are fine and she can see the Doctor without any trouble or fear or anything.

Metacrisis Ten has all of Ten’s memories and knows Donna already, so she’s already important to him. Ten only gave up Donna because he had to, but Metacrisis Ten doesn’t have to, so why would he?

I can’t believe that Ten, locked in a parallel world that has his friend in it, would do anything different. I absolutely believe that, after he gets locked in there with Rose and her family, he goes and gets Donna, too. And I’d bet that Billie was at least approached about being in the special, and she might even be in it as a surprise.

Maybe she holds down the fort with the kid that she and Metacrisis inevitably had while Metacrisis goes adventuring with Donna and Wilf. Or maybe she’s a leader or something. Or maybe she just sat this adventure out. Who knows?

And we know that Earth-bound adventures are possible, look at “The Eleventh Hour” or almost anything from between 1970 and 1974.

Second, look at that costume. That’s not Ten’s costume. Not even close. That’s a horrific bastardization of Ten’s costume. Surely whoever’s on costumes for this series of episodes knows better than to so dramatically alter a classic Doctor’s classic look? Ten’s suit is iconic, people have gotten married in replicas of that suit, people have based entire businesses around making replicas of that suit. There’s no way anyone would reasonably go for such a big change in costume for Ten, especially if they’re going to all the trouble to bring Ten back in the first place.

It’s not Ten’s costume because it’s not supposed to be Ten’s costume.

The suit that we last saw the Metacrisis Doctor in was blue. The greatcoat we’ve seen is blue. It’s a stretch, but that could be a connection in color.

That’s a bit more of a conspiracy theory, I know, but the costume we’ve seen in the leaked photos seems to be an inverse of Ten’s normal costume colors.

Because the man wearing it is an inverse of Ten. The Metacrisis Doctor.

Thirdly, think about who’s writing this. It’s Russell T. Davies, the man who loves to go back to characters and dig up old stories to continue or finish them. The Metacrisis Doctor is a pretty major character that hasn’t been touched since 2008, I believe. Surely Russell would want to pick up where he left off and tell the new, fun tales of that Doctor.

Hell, knowing Russell, it might well be a lead-up for a spin-off. The DoctorDonna Show or something like that.

Fourthly, as near or far as I can tell, the timing doesn’t quite add up. Thirteen regenerates in the Centenary Special in October 2022, and Tennant re-appears in the 60th Anniversary Special in November 2023, if I’m reading everything right. That’s an awful long time to wait for Doctor Who. We’ve waited that long before (and hated every bloody second of it), but I feel like there’s more Doctor Who to come between then. More that explains what’s going on.

So I don’t know. I have not been following any of the news closely, so any one or multiple of my facts presented here could be wrong. But I knew David Tennant and Catherine Tate were returning, and I remembered what happened to Donna and I saw David’s costume, and I just did some thinking and I said “I bet it’s the Metacrisis Doctor”.

Please be kind to me.

[jrpneblog]

Deadline day draws near

It`s all go on the field for North End in the next seven days with the deadline for any action off the field less than seven days away. The manager, himself, has said that everyone knows we are looking for a Right Wing Back and another Striker. If those slots are to be filled then it has got to happen very quickly and several people I have spoken to this last week or so have said that this could well be another January 2006. For those not old enough to remeber it was the window when North End were riding high in the Championship after being beaten in the play off final the previous May by West Ham. The manager at the time, Billy Davies, had indicated that with a couple of signings North End would have a good chance of automatic promotion let alone the play offs. Those two signings didnt materialise and we were beaten in the play off semi final by Leeds with the manager then departing for Derby County, no doubt thinking he had taken Preston as far as he could. Now I am not suggesting for one minute that two more signings will deliver automatic promotion, or that the manager is going to leave anytime soon, but the general consensus amongst supporters is that with two decent signatures in these positions then the play offs are a real possibility. We will wait with bated breath to see what materialises before next Thursday.

Last Saturday saw North End play out their third consecutive 0-0 draw at home with Watford being the visitors. In fairness to North End I thought the Hornets were the best side we have faced this season and all three results were very possible. Once again we didn`t take our chances and were almost made to pay with the visitors having a couple of good chances late on to almost steal the three points. Ryan Lowe said this week that if we were finishing games 0-0 and not making chances he would be worried but we are making plenty of chances, we are just not putting them away.

Tuesday evening saw 1,406 of the travelling faithful make their way to Molineux for the second round Carabao Cup tie against Premiership Wolverhampton Wanderers. The home side put our a strong side and with North End making seven changes it was never going to be easy. Two down after half an hour and it didn`t look good but a penalty save by man of the match David Cornell right on the stroke of half time seemed to galvanise North End. We were much better second half and scored early through Woodburn, but in spite of another couple of decent effort we were always wary of Wolves and we never really looked like equalising. Overall a decent performance on the night but not enough against a team and squad that cost North of £200m. Sheesh - talk about the haves and the have nots!

On Saturday we hit the road to the Principality as we return to league action and a visit to the Cradiff City Stadium. Confidence still looks very high in the North End squad and I see no reason why we cant take something from this game. Both sides sit on seven points with Cardiff having won two drawn one and lost two as opposed to North End who have won one and drawn four. It is a great stadium to play football in but lacks the ferocious atmosphere that we used to experience at Ninian Park. Whether Ryan Lowe will stick with the 3-4-2-1 that he has adopted in the last three league games remains to be seen but I think the time is probably right to go back to two upfront and maybe give Ben Woodburn a start playing just behind Troy Parrott.

This phase of two games a week continues in the next seven days as North End travel to Coventry on Wednesday evening for what will be the Sky Blues first home game of the season. This is due to problems with the pitch after the Rugby Sevens at the Commonwealth Games were played at the Arena. Hopefully the relaid pitch will have settled down in time and it wont have any effect of the standard of the football. I think this is a difficult game for us as this will be Coventry`s first home game and the home fans will be bursting to shout their boys on. Before the games this weekend Coventry sit rock bottom but only because they have only played two games due to cancellations. They have one point from a draw and a defeat so will be looking to climb the table quickly. Personally I would take four points from these two away fixtures and I think North End are well capable of doing that.

And finally this week:- the silly season of sacking managers has already started in the Championship with Michael O`Neill departing from Stoke City on Thursday. Stoke probably have one of the richest owners in the Championship but having the money and spending it wisely are two very different elements in the successful running of a football club. Good luck to whoever takes over at the bet365 Stadium, they are going to need it.

.

JR`s HIGH FIVES

Burnley to beat Wigan 11/8

A £5 Stake returns £11.88 on bet365

SEASONS STATS

Returns £45.25 Stake £20.00

percentage profit+/-loss + 126.25%

Predictions 4 won 4 lost 0.

[fific7]

Fake or Fortune

For @omgrachwrites 1K Follower Celebration - congratulations!

AU: Fake Relationship

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: This does not follow canon, it takes place in my Alternative S1 Punisher Universe, with Arrogant!Billy in attendance.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, slightly questionable consent, some dom/sub interaction, oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Swearing and drinking.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My Photo Edit)

Karen put a large G&T down in front of you, accompanied by a sympathetic look. You picked it up and took a large sip, sighing as you put it back down again.

“I give up, Karen. No matter what I do, without fail I either pick the wrong guy or else think everything’s fine, and then boom - it isn’t.”

This was a commiseration drinking session, which Karen had suggested after she’d noticed you moping around the office. You both worked at the same big newspaper but in different departments, and became good friends after spending numerous lunchtimes together in the staff restaurant.

“What happened this time?” she asked, then winced as she realised maybe that wasn’t the most tactful way of putting things. “I mean, I thought you and David were getting on really well?” You took a larger gulp of your drink, “Well, that’s the thing - so did I. Until I got the “it’s not you, it’s me” talk on Saturday.” You’d been seeing this guy from your Digital News Content section for a few months, and you’d really thought everything had been on track.

Karen sighed, “Oh lord, not that old pile of bullshit.” You nodded, “Yeah, right. I tried to pin him down to exactly what the problem was, but I guess it was just me, when it all came down to it. In fact, I saw him chatting up a girl from Accounts yesterday so he’s already moved on to pastures new. That didn’t take long, did it? Or maybe he’d already moved on but didn’t have the balls to tell me.”

“Look, I’m meeting up with Frank on Friday night for a drink...” her cheeks pinked up, and you smiled at her obvious pleasure in that thought, “....so why don’t you come along? He mentioned one of his friends might tag along.” You held up a hand, “Oh no! No! I’m not being set up.” She shook her head, “It’s not a set-up, I swear. They’ve got a little....issue.... with Homeland and we’re going to talk about it.”

You knew she’d recently met this ex-Marine called Frank when - in her role as investigative reporter - she’d been digging into some big CIA scandal. When was there not a scandal about the CIA, you thought. You knew she’d met him several times over the past couple of weeks and had detected a more-than-just-business interest in him. “Oh, so.... strictly business, then?” you teased. She shifted in her seat, “Well, mainly.... we’ve also been talking about more personal stuff.” “Uh-huh,” you nodded, smirking, “Karen fancies Frank, Karen fancies Frank!” you sang, while she batted your arm and gave an embarrassed laugh.

“Oh shut up, you,” she said, “...are you coming along or not?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

And that’s why you found yourself sitting in a neighbourhood bar with Karen on Friday night, feeling quite nervous for some reason. Probably because Karen was fidgeting like hell next to you, and you were picking up on her nervous energy. You smiled over at her, “So you really like this guy, huh?” “No!”she denied, then as you raised an eyebrow at her, “Well... okay, yes I do like him. He’s so sweet.” Her eyes widened as she spoke, catching sight of two approaching figures, “Oh! Here he comes.” A big bear of a man came up to your table, smiling broadly at Karen and then including you in the smile as he stopped beside you. “Hey, Karen,” he greeted her, and she beamed back at him. “Hey, Frank,” and then she introduced you to him. His friend, who’d been partially blocked from your sight by Frank’s bulk, moved out from behind him and said ‘Hi - I’m Billy Russo,’ and shook your hand as he did so. “Nice ta meet ya,” said Frank, also shaking your hand and sitting down in the booth next to Karen.

The man who’d just introduced himself as Billy slid in next to you, and you tried not to stare. He was hot. Like, really hot. Dressed in a smart suit and overcoat, he really didn’t look like an ex-Marine, but Karen had told you that both Frank and his friend were ex-service, and that the friend had opened up a security firm called Anvil when he left the Marines. His handsome face turned towards you, and two very dark eyes looked into yours, “So.... you’re a friend of Karen’s?” You nodded, “Yeah, we just worked together to start with but now we’re besties.” “You a reporter too?” “Nah, I’m a lowly sub-editor on the news desk.” A sudden thought occurred to you, “Oh... and just to reassure you, this isn’t a set-up... you and me, I mean.” He smirked, and you found yourself staring at his lush brushed-back hair and sculpted jaw with its light beard. “Would it have been a big problem if it had been?” he was saying to you, and you shook yourself out of your little trance.

“No, I guess not...” you replied, laughing nervously, “...but I just wanted to get it out there.” He looked you over appraisingly, “Well, I wouldn’t have been disappointed at all,” the smirk got bigger, “....so if you change your mind, just let me know.” This left you speechless but he was still looking at you, asking, “Whaddya want to drink? First round’s on me,” before turning his gaze to the others.

Several beers later, you were sitting listening to the other three talking about a lot of indecipherable nonsense (from your point of view), and you were beginning to get antsy. “Karen, I’m going to head off,” you said in a break in the conversation and she looked slightly guilty, “Oh sorry... we’ve been going on about this for ages.” You shrugged, “It’s fine, Karen, honestly. I’ll see you Monday, okay? Have a great weekend.” You turned to the guys, “You too, and thanks for the drinks,” and made to move out of the booth. But Billy didn’t move. “See you home?” he questioned you, and you saw small smiles on both Karen and Frank’s faces. “Yeah, okay,” you nodded, and then he moved, standing aside as you slid out of the booth. As you headed to the door through the crowd of people, you felt his arm snaking around your lower back. Oooh, very confident, you thought. You’d marked him out as a player as soon as you’d set eyes on him.

“Sorry about the boring shop talk,” he said as you both hit the street, “....me and Frankie’ve got some problems with Homeland right now.” “That doesn’t sound good,” you said as you found yourself being guided around the corner from the bar. “Oh, I was going to take the subway,” you protested, but he shook his head, “This time on a Friday night? Nah.” He pointed towards a rather flashy-looking car parked in the street, “Got the car with me so I’ll take you home. I only had one beer, case you didn’t notice.” “I didn’t,” you admitted, “I thought you were sinking beers like the rest of us.” He gave a low laugh, “I was a sniper in the service, so I like to be aware of my surroundings at all times.” A little frisson ran through you, this guy was quite dangerous, you could tell. As you reached the car, he held the passenger door open for you and you climbed in, trying to be as elegant as possible although you weren’t sure you quite achieved that.

As he started the engine and moved the car out into the flow of traffic, he asked, “So what made you come along tonight if it wasn’t a set-up?” “I was bored. I just split up with my boyfriend of a few months so...” you shrugged. You heard a chuckle, “His loss.” “I don’t think that’s what he thought,” you replied, with a self-deprecating laugh. “Well, it’s true,” said Billy, “...believe me. He must be mad to give you up.” “You silver-tongued charmer,” you said back to him, and again you heard his deep chuckle.

“Seriously, it’s my gain. Look, this might seem a bit of an odd request seein’ as how we’ve only just met...” he began, looking across at you as he pulled up outside your apartment block, “....but you’d be doin’ me a big favour. How ‘bout you come along to this charity event I gotta go to next week? As my ‘plus one’?” You hesitated, and he carried on, “No strings, I promise. Just come along as my girlfriend and be on my arm all night. Help me ward off the attentions of someone I’d rather avoid.” You scoffed, “Fake dating? Really?!”

Much to your surprise, you found yourself walking into your building a few minutes later having just agreed to go to this event with Billy. He’d looked pleased, thanking you for saying yes. And you’d also been on the receiving end of a surprise kiss from him. He’d suddenly leant in, slid his big hand around the back of your neck and pulled you in, his mouth finding yours as he did. The kiss had been short but very sexy and you were still tingling from the after-effects.

He’d laughed at your look of total surprise, and wished you sweet dreams. You’d better be careful, warned your internal guardian angel, he said ‘No Strings’.... remember? So don’t go getting all invested in this guy. He’s a player.... for sure.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy and you had swapped numbers, and the following morning you were pleasantly surprised to get a text asking if you could meet him later that day. Intrigued, you texted back saying you didn’t have any other plans but why did he need to meet up? He came back saying he’d had an idea to help out with the event next week, and said he could pick you up. Feeling like you could be making a big mistake, you agreed so he said he’d be at your place around two.

You made sure you dressed casually. Not having any idea where you were going, but sure it wouldn’t be a date as such, you just chose a shirt and jeans with some suede ankle boots. When Billy texted you to say he was parked outside, you left your apartment and locked up, feeling a spark of excitement run through you as you did. “This is not a date, this is not a date, this is not a date!” you chanted in your head as you went downstairs. Billy, you saw with relief, was also dressed casually in jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket and combat boots. He gave you a big grin as you got in the car, the luxurious leather aroma of the interior filling your nostrils. “What make of car is this?” you asked, being an “it’s a black one” kind of girl. He gave you what could only be described as a smug smile, “Rolls Royce Wraith, sweetheart,” he answered. “Oh, okay,” you said, “....expensive, I take it?” “Very.” “Surprised you park it on the street the way you do then,” you shrugged, and he burst out laughing. “Is it one of those so-called penis extensions?” you asked next, and Billy nearly choked he was laughing so hard.

“Firstly, I take it that means you aren’t particularly impressed,” he gasped, getting his breath back after his laughing fit, “...and secondly, no darlin’, it definitely isn’t one of those ‘penis extensions‘ as you put it. Got no need for one-a those.” You returned his smirk, “Really? Well, I don’t care what car a guy drives,” you said firmly, “...that’s got nothing to do with what he’s like.” He glanced across at you as he swung the car into one of the downtown underground car parks. “And what do you think I’m like?” You looked at his profile as he concentrated on parking the big car in a corner space, “Mmmm... I think you’ve had a hard upbringing and now you’re making up for it. Big time.”

Billy switched the engine off and turned to stare at you, the dark eyes drilling into yours with an intensity you hadn’t been expecting. “Wow,” said Billy, “....you sure you’re not one-a these psychoanalysts or somethin’?” “Definitely,” you replied. “Well, you sure sound like you’ve been analysing me, sweetheart,” he said. You didn’t know him well enough to gauge his mood, and he carried on, “I mean, you got all that from meetin’ me last night and just now?” You nodded, saying neutrally, “I’m just speculating of course... but the expensive suits, the car, and I bet a big flashy apartment too, it just says ‘I can afford this now and I’m gonna enjoy it’ to me.” You were relieved to hear a chuckle as you’d been worried you’d really offended him. “Spot on,” he said, “...yeah, you’re spot on. I think you’re maybe in the wrong business.” You decided to change the subject, “So... where are we going, Billy?” “You’ll see in a minute,” he grinned, “....c’mon, let’s go sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Minutes later, you were standing outside one of the expensive and trendy boutiques in the area. Billy’s hand went under your elbow and he steered you inside. “Billy... what’s going on?” He nodded to one of the staff who started making her way over to the two of you. “Look, it was my bright idea to drag you along to this thing, so the least I can do is treat you to a new outfit.” You were shaking your head before he’d stopped speaking, “Oh no, no... I can’t let you do that!” He was nodding back at you - it must’ve looked quite comical to the store assistant, “Oh yes, you will - I insist.” He turned to the woman, “Please can you help my girlfriend pick out an outfit for a formal event?” And before you could say anything else, he’d wandered over to a seating area near the changing rooms and seated himself in a comfortable armchair. “I’ll be right here, sweets,” he said, beaming at you. Girlfriend indeed, you thought.

The store assistant looked expectantly at you and you nodded hesitantly at her, so she led you over to some rails filled with lots of beautiful dresses. “How nice of your boyfriend to buy you a whole new outfit,” she commented, beginning to slide the dresses back and forth along the rail looking for a selection for you, “He’s very charming,” she continued, admiringly. “Yes, isn’t he,” you said between gritted teeth. Truthfully, you were feeling as if you were out shopping with your sugar daddy. But you had to admit that your bank account would’ve been protesting loudly if you’d had to make the purchase yourself, and you definitely would’ve had to buy something new as nothing in your wardrobe was even remotely suitable for a formal event. And he was right, this was all his bright idea. So you’d just suck it up, you thought, however reluctantly.

Eventually the assistant had several dresses folded over her arm for you to try on, and you sailed past Billy to the changing rooms without as much as a glance at him. But you just knew he was staring at you as disappeared behind the curtain.

After twenty minutes of struggling in and out of the various dresses, you had to admit that the assistant had made some good choices. There were three that you really liked, and you finally chose a midnight blue silky sheath of mid-thigh length, an asymmetric one-shoulder-strap neckline and a swirl of sequins diagonally across it from neck to hem. It was tight-fitting but didn’t show off an excessive amount of skin - you didn’t want to have it all out there on show after all.

The assistant had also brought several pairs of shoes to you once you’d chosen your dress, and you picked out a pair of matching delicate strappy sandals. Pleased with your choices, you put your own clothes back on and went out to find Billy. He looked up from his phone as you exited the changing room, a disappointed look on his face, “What.... no catwalk show for your boyfriend?” You leant down and whispered, “Okay, you’re laying it on a bit thick, Russo,” to which he grinned, gently took hold of your chin and softly kissed you. “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he smirked. Then a horrible thought occurred to you, “Billy!” you whispered forcefully. He looked a bit nervously at you, “What?” “There was no price tag on that dress or the shoes either!” He waved a hand at you, “Yeah? That’s okay, just leave it to me.” “No! That’s not on. I’m going to ask her what the price is.” He jumped up out of the armchair, “Nah, nah! Told ya, it was my idea you come along so just let me do this, okay?”

He set off without further delay to the cash desk, while you reluctantly waited in the seating area. Not particularly comfortable with the idea of him buying you an outfit, you decided that you’d offer to buy him dinner to kind of offset his no doubt hefty bill for the dress purchase. He came back over to you a few moments later carrying a large box in one of the boutique’s carrier bags which he handed to you with a grin. “She’d already boxed it before I could see it so it’s still gonna be a surprise when I see it on the night.” You smirked back, you were quite pleased about that. “Billy, let me buy you dinner as a thank you for the dress.” “Okay, I won’t say no to a free dinner,” he grinned, “...where d’ya wanna go?” You mentally reviewed your bank balance and named a mid-priced restaurant close by.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After a pleasant couple of hours chatting over dinner, Billy drove you home. Debating how to end the night, you came up with what you felt was a decent plan. Not that you were trying to extend the evening of course. That would be just plain stupid as the ‘relationship’ was all a big fake. Remember? your brain asked you. “You know Billy, we haven’t prepared a back story yet, have we?” you said as he drew up outside your place. “A back story?” “Yeah. I mean, if this person you’re trying to avoid happens to ask us - together or separately - about our relationship, we need to be singing from the same songsheet, don’t we?” He looked thoughtful, “Uh yeah, you’ve got a point there.” “OK, well how about you come in for a glass of wine or a coffee and we can get that sorted now?” A devilish smirk appeared, “Plannin’ to ravish me, sweetheart?”

You felt your face heat up with a sudden blush, “No!! Purely to agree on the back story. But hey - we can just text about it if you’d prefer!” Embarrassed, you grabbed your bags, opened the car door and began to get out, but Billy grabbed your arm, “Hey, hey, sweetheart - I’m just kiddin’. Hold on an’ I’ll park up. We can walk up together.” You huffed slightly and closed the car door again, while Billy looked around for a parking space. Once parked, the two of you went up to your apartment and you unlocked the door, waving him inside and over to the sofa while you stashed the bags and headed to the kitchen area. “What would you like? Wine, beer or coffee?” “I’d better just have a coffee,” he said, “...don’t wanna get drunk and pass out in your apartment. Not a good look.” “I don’t see you as a ‘getting drunk’ kinda guy, Billy. You already told me you like to be aware of your surroundings.” He laughed, “You’re right, I don’t make a habit of gettin’ wasted.”

So you switched on your coffee machine and asked what kind of coffee he’d like, holding up a handful of different capsules. He strolled over to you, draping his leather jacket over the back of one of the high stools at your breakfast bar as he reached you. He leaned down slightly and looked at the selection you had in your hand, and you were suddenly very aware of the scent of his aftershave. “Whattya got there, then?” You took his hand and dumped them all in it, saying, “I’m just gonna fill up the water jug while you decide,” and moving swiftly away from him. You were finding it very difficult indeed to ignore the magnetic attraction he was exerting over you, but you really had to try harder as you were only going to end up getting hurt otherwise. He held out a capsule toward you, “Americano’s fine,” he said.

The two cups of coffee made a few moments later, you led him back over to the sofa and you both sat down at opposite ends. “Okayyyy,” said Billy, “....back story then?” You nodded, “Yeah. Nothing too fancy as the less details we have to remember the better.” “Good idea. We should probably add in some truth too. So.... we met through Karen & Frank?” “Yes, that’s a good start. Where did we meet and how long have we been seeing each other?” “Neighbourhood bar, and a coupla months?” “Okay, yeah. Actually is that about it? That was easier than I thought! Or...what else might they ask? Who is this person you’re avoiding - are they gonna be really nosy?” Billy snorted, “Oh yeah! Her name’s Caroline, a spoilt rich bitch. Her father owns a tech company and he supplies some of our equipment. She came along to one of the meetings recently and now she’s stalking me.” You grinned, “And that’s a problem for you? I would’ve thought you’d quite enjoy that, Billy.”

He grinned back, “Are you sayin’ I’m a player or somethin’?” “Well, aren’t you? I’m kinda getting that vibe.” Now he laughed out loud, “Maybe. But I like doin’ the chasing, sweetheart, not the other way round. If she ever got hold-a me, I’d never get outta her clutches.” “What - you wouldn’t? Not much of an ex-Marine then, are you?” He rolled his eyes, “Seriously, this woman’s so clingy she’d attach herself to me like a limpet mine. And I don’t like violence against women so I’d be in a difficult situation. Plus the main thing’s the business link with her daddy. His stuff’s good, I wouldn’t wanna have to replace him as a supplier. So you see, you’re doing me a solid here.” “When you say stalking you, do you mean literally?” “Well, like turning up at Anvil all the time to ‘check on the equipment’ and shit like that.” “So not outside the office then? I’m just thinking along the lines of her not seeing us around together before the event if she’s around you outside business hours. She might not buy it.” “As far as I know, only in office hours.”

“As far as you know? That’s not exactly reassuring if she’s as much of a stalker as you say she is.” He laughed, “No, I’m sure she’s not around apart from that.” “Okay, well is there anything else you can think of that she might ask?” He gave you a sly grin, “If we’ve slept together.” You got up and took your empty cup over to the kitchen sink, “Uh-huh.... well she can ask! We’ll just have to lie, won’t we?” You turned round only to find Billy invading your personal space again, and you moved back slightly in surprise. He followed, crowding you against the counter, dark eyes gazing into yours, “Uh... we don’t have to lie.” You leaned further back, your brain yelling ‘don’t give in to him!’ at you. “Billy... you suggested this whole thing and you also said ‘no strings’, remember? Well, if we did that... that would be strings, don’t you agree?” He reached round you and put his cup in the sink too, “Yeah, I guess so. Just thought we could make things look a little more.... authentic, y’know?” He turned and grabbed his jacket off the back of the stool, but then took you by surprise again by swooping in for a long kiss, pulling you against his body and his big hand sliding around the back of your neck. You pulled away, trying to catch your breath.

Those espresso-coloured eyes were gazing into yours, a lazy grin on his face. “Hey, you’ll need to get less jumpy when I do that else she’s definitely not gonna buy it.” He stood back from you, shrugging into his jacket, “Might need a bit more practice, sweetheart,” he smirked, “....so how about we meet up again tomorrow? We can learn a bit more about each other, as well as you getting more comfortable when I get physical with you,” and wiggled his eyebrows at you. Against your better judgement, you agreed and so he said he’d pick you up at four the next day.

Once he’d gone, you poured yourself a stiff brandy. You couldn’t deny you wanted to spend more time with him, much as you knew you were setting yourself up for a fall. Really... just what the hell did you think you were doing?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was thinking the very same thing to himself as he drove away. He was enjoying those kisses way too much. But he was the one who’d suggested this whole fake relationship thing, and definitely with ‘no strings’. Because that was the Russo Way.

He’d better get his head back on straight, and stop thinking about the gorgeous woman in the apartment back there as anything other than a way to ditch the very irritating Caroline.

He also got the distinct feeling she’d marked him out as a player and wouldn’t want to get involved with him anyhow. Well, he was a player and he couldn’t deny that. Wasn’t sure he could ever see himself as a one-woman man. Caroline was attractive enough and in the normal way of things, he’d’ve taken her out maybe a couple of times, fucked and then forgotten her. But her father and Billy’s business relationship complicated things somewhat.

So yeah, he’d make sure she saw him with a lovely woman on his arm at the gala, kiss (and maybe fuck if he got lucky) the lovely woman at the end of the night and move right along. Apart from anything else, the fact that she was Karen’s friend complicated things way beyond what he wanted to get involved in, because he couldn’t afford to upset either her or her friend, Frankie’d kill him if he did.

Definitely better stick with the Russo Way. It had never failed him before, had it?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The next day, Billy glided the car to a stop outside her apartment block at 4 o’clock as promised, dropping her a quick text to announce his arrival. Soon, he saw her figure walking out of the main door and making her way towards him.

Damn! Mmm, she was looking good. Little pink sundress, short denim jacket, bare legs and low wedge pink sandals. Yeah, really cute. Smart and funny too. And sexy, of course. Very sexy. Totally fuckable. Completely and utterly fuckable. Woah - stop that Russo! Right now!

All these thoughts ran through his head in the 10 seconds it took her to reach the car.

He leant over and pushed open the passenger door for her, “Hi sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d noticed Billy’s eyes running over you as you went up to the car, and then spotted his tongue making a swift trip over his bottom lip as he greeted you. You got the feeling he was looking at you like you were a snack to be consumed. Determined to resist how attracted you felt to him, you hopped into the car and said Hi back. Billy’s big hand landed on your thigh as you fastened your seat belt, his long fingers sliding upwards. Batting them away, you continued clipping yourself in and he laughed, leaning across and pulling you to him, kissing you long and slow. Breaking apart, he said, “Remember we gotta practice, sweetheart,” grinning at you. “Mmmhuh,” you nodded, “I remember you saying that.” “Just relax! Get comfortable with me touchin’ and kissin’ you. We’re boyfriend and girlfriend after all.” “Mmmhuh,” you said again, and once more his hand found its way onto your thigh and began stroking, eventually inching upwards again.

This time, you decided to stay still, thinking that yes, you had better get comfortable with this if this whole stupid fake relationship thing was going to work. But when his hand parted your legs and one long slim finger swiftly made its way inside your panties and - without further warning - actually inside you, you jumped like a startled deer and squirmed away from him. “Billy!” you protested loudly, but he merely smirked victoriously at you and pushed a second finger inside you to join its cousin. You shoved at his resistant arm, “Stop it!” His mouth found yours and he began kissing you as his fingers moved steadily in and out of you then his thumb was on your clit, and he began massaging firmly. “Sssshhh, sweetheart, we’re just messin’ around,” you heard his low voice in your ear, “...this is high school stuff.” “But I didn’t say you could do this to me!” you snarled, trying to ignore how good he was making you feel, and you felt his fingers leave you. He sat back in his car seat, taking a tissue out of his jacket pocket and slowly wiping his fingers, looking across at you all the while with a contemplative look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but not sounding regretful at all, “I didn’t think you’d mind. Thought it’d loosen you up a bit like we said.” He smirked at you, “You can’t deny I got you wet, and I know you’re attracted to me. Thought you’d enjoy it.” Your mouth dropped open, “You arrogant fucker!” you exclaimed, “You know what, you can take your fake dating shit and shove it where the sun doesn’t fucking shine!” You jumped out of the car, slamming the door with an almighty bang behind you. Stomping back up to your apartment, you opened your front door and slammed it behind you too, angrily throwing your bag onto the sofa as you passed on your way to the kitchen. You took off your jacket and threw it onto a high stool, furious enough to take a bottle of gin out of the cupboard and grab a clean glass from the dishwasher. You were just taking a bottle of tonic water out of the fridge when there was a knock at your door.

Okay, well that was either your annoying across-the-hall neighbour... who complained about anything and everything... here to moan about the door-slamming, or else it was Billy. Whoever was on the other side of the door was going to be greeted by your frowning face, and you really didn’t give a shit which one it was. You dramatically swung open the door, and it was in fact Billy Russo who was confronted by your unhappy visage. He immediately held up his hands in a placatory gesture. “Look, I am really, truly, sorry. I ... can I come in and explain?” You turned on your heel and walked back to the kitchen, leaving him to close the door behind him and follow in your footsteps. “Want a drink?” He nodded, “I’d love a beer if you’ve got one, please.” You took a bottle of beer out of the fridge and handed it to him, then got a bottle top remover for him out of one of your drawers.

He popped off the cap then took a long swig, as he watched you prepare a G&T for yourself. You also took a big sip then leant back against the counter and regarded him with a steely gaze. “You said you wanted to explain.” He took another gulp of beer and began, “I.... look, I’m so sorry okay? I totally misread the situation.” Sipping your gin, you said, “I’ll say you did, Billy! I get the distinct impression you mistook me for one of the easy lays you no doubt pick up in bars. Is that how you treat your one-and-done’s, huh? Well, don’t try that shit with me, okay?” He looked over at you shamefaced and shrugged, “Uhhh...I ..uhh.. yeah, I guess I did.... look, I really am sorry, sweetheart. I can’t apologise enough, and I really didn’t mean to upset you.” You took another big hit of your gin, slightly - but only very slightly - mollified. “And as for your comment that I’m attracted to you...!!!” Momentarily you were speechless, unsure what you wanted to say or how to put it. Mainly because it was the truth, you acknowledged to yourself.

Before you could say anything, Billy held up his hands again, “I’m incredibly embarrassed about saying that. Really crass. And arrogant, as you said.” You noticed that his face had pinked up somewhat. “In fact just forget I said it,” he carried on. “Bit late for that now isn’t it! Did you say it because you’re used to women falling at your feet, Billy?”

He looked down at the beer bottle in his hand, waggling it back and forward before saying, “Yeah. If I’m honest, I don’t usually haveta try too hard.” His eyes met yours, “And if I’m bein’ even more honest, gotta admit I’m attracted to you. Like, really attracted. So, yeah - I was hoping for something more than just going to the charity event with you.”

You drew in a big breath. What? What did he just say to you? No. You mentally shook your head, and then realised you were actually shaking it. “Billy.... you’re a player, that much is blatantly obvious. Would you know what a relationship is if it came up and bit you on the ass? Something tells me you wouldn’t.” He had the grace to look guilty. You continued, “So here’s what we’ll do. If you still need me to come along to the gala, then I’ll do that. And then we’ll go back to being strangers. Okay?”

He twirled his beer bottle between his long fingers, and shrugged, “Okay, sweetheart. M’happy you’re still gonna help me out. But can’t we at least be friends afterwards? Reckon Karen ‘n Frank’re gonna be seeing a lot of each other so we’ll probably keep bumping into each other.” Your face softened into a smile, “Yeah, they like each other don’t they? You’re right, we probably will be spending some time together because of those two. Okay... friends, then.”

He smiled at you, approaching warily and sliding his hand round to the back of your head and up into your hair, pulling you closer. “M’gonna kiss you, s’that okay?” but being Billy, didn’t wait for your reply. His lips met yours in a gentler kiss than earlier, his fingers stroking the back of your neck. He moved his hips against yours, and you knew he’d done this so you’d feel his erection against your body. You moved sideways and pulled away from him, why did he have to make you breathless when you just wanted to be cool, calm and collected around him? He looked a bit crestfallen, but recovered swiftly and asked, “How about we order in some food and just spend some quality time together?” You sighed, “Okay, Billy, let’s do that. But no more groping or anything, okay?” He nodded, looking serious and miming a cross over his heart, “Promise.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You pushed the pizza box away from you, “God, I’m stuffed.” Billy picked up his beer bottle and drank, giving a small delicate burp as he did so, “Me too.” Reaching over, he picked up the remote and began flicking through Netflix, “Whaddya wanna watch next?” he asked. “Mmmm, you pick a movie. But not one about war.” He laughed, “Oh don’t worry, I never watch war films, had enough-a that in real life.” Lying back and letting out a deep breath, you said apologetically, “I bet you did. Sorry.” Shrugging, he also lay back, his head turning towards you, “S’okay. We can talk about it sometime if you like. And about my less-than-perfect childhood. And some of my more recent fuck-ups.” He gave a bitter laugh, “I’m a fuckin’ train wreck, sweetheart - you’ve made the right decision, best you don’t get involved with me.” His eyes looked big and a bit glossy, and before you could help yourself you’d laid your hand on his shoulder, “I’m sure you’re not that bad, Billy.” He turned away from you, looking at the TV before selecting a sci-fi fantasy movie, “Oh believe me, I am,” he said in a low voice.

You shifted a bit closer to him on the sofa, “Don’t be so down on yourself, Billy. You’ve achieved a lot of things... got your own company, fancy car, fine suits, lots of money, prestige.” He grinned at you, “But all that doesn’t matter to you, does it?” You shook your head, “No, but they’re still achievements to be proud of.” His head dropped and some locks of hair fell over his forehead. “Thank you,” he mumbled, and you watched as your hand went of its own accord to his face and stroked the errant hair back off his forehead. His head swivelled towards you, dark eyes gazing into yours; he took hold of your arms and drew you against his chest. “Can we snuggle?” he asked you, then wrapped his arms right around you, before lying down and swinging his long legs up onto the sofa, pulling you with him. You snorted out a laugh, “Snuggle? That doesn’t exactly fit with your ex-soldier or current playboy personas!” “Aw, c’mon sweetheart, gimme a break - I’m tryin’ to be a well-behaved boy here!” You snuggled into his chest a bit, “Okay, but remember - no wandering hands!” He held up both hands, “Not wandering - look!” before placing them chastely on your arm and shoulder.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your eyes opened, and you groggily looked around you, disorientated. Hearing soft little snores from beneath you, you raised your head to look at Billy’s sleeping face. Oh. You’d both obviously dozed off in front of the TV, the Netflix menu now on the screen. Moving slowly, you started to try and stand up but two hands went round your arms in a vice-like grip. “Where you off to?” said Billy’s deep voice. “Just...ummm... just...” you stuttered, but suddenly you were underneath him, his weight pressing you down as his mouth found yours in a hungry kiss. You knew you should resist but damn, he was a good kisser! Feeling yourself dissolve into the kiss, one of your hands moved up to his bristly jawline.

His kisses became more passionate and he pushed himself against you even more, his arousal very evident. You tried to ignore them but your feelings of desire for him were becoming overwhelming, and your arms went round his neck almost unbidden. He was smiling against your lips, and you heard, “Wanna sleep with me? D’you wanna?” Your treacherous mouth said “Yes!” in a breathy whisper, and that was all Billy needed to hear.

He picked you up in his arms, whispering “Where’s your bedroom?” You nodded towards its general direction and he carried you across the apartment and into your room. Setting you down, his fingers were immediately at the zip of your dress, pulling it down, pushing the fabric down then further down until your dress was round your ankles, before whipping it fully off and dropping it onto the floor. You watched him as his eyes roamed all over your body, taking in your lacy lingerie and moving the straps of your bra off your shoulders. “Mmmmm, sweetheart - wow - even better than I imagined,” he said hoarsely, his hands going round your back and unclipping your bra. He stripped it off you and dropped it, both hands immediately cupping your breasts and massaging firmly, thumbs running over your nipples as they peaked. Moving you backwards until your head hit the pillows, you felt his fingers pulling the fabric of your panties aside and suddenly the head of his cock was at your core and pushing inside you. “No time for foreplay, sorry,” you heard and you gave a deep groan when he kept going, feeling his balls brushing your pussy as he fully sheathed himself. His head went back and he gasped, “Fuck!” before he began to thrust. He lifted your legs and draped them over his hips, encouraging you to cross your ankles on his back to pull him even closer.

His mouth was everywhere on you, kissing you deeply one minute before his mouth went to one of your nipples, teasing it with his tongue while his thumb and fingers toyed with the other, then his mouth and teeth were on your neck and shoulders while he set a ferocious pace. A constant stream of low groans were leaving your lips as he moved on you, and you could hear him gasping and muttering words above you, not all of which you could catch, but you did hear “Uhhh, been wantin’ to do this to ya since the minute we met” between thrusts. You ran your hands over his chest and up around his neck, threading your fingers through his lush hair, and you felt him shiver as you pulled on it gently. His thumb was on your clit now, rubbing at you relentlessly and your orgasm washed over you like a wave. His teeth were fastened onto your shoulder and he bit down as you felt his body tense as he came. He lowered himself gently onto you before rolling off, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as he got his breath back. “Wow,” he said quietly, before moving onto his side and gazing at you, running a finger gently along your jaw. “Yes, wow,” you replied, putting your hand on his bristly cheek.

“Well, if Caroline does ask if we’ve slept together, now we don’t have to lie,” smirked Billy. This instantly ruined the mood and you sat up, prior to wrapping one of the covers round you and getting out of bed. He looked a bit surprised, but you began moving away from the bed towards the bathroom. Returning a few moments later, you hesitated for a moment before climbing back into bed beside Billy, who was still lying there in all his naked glory. He immediately moved next you, his hands on your arm, “Did I say something wrong earlier? You were up and off like a ballistic missile.” You looked over at him, “A girl doesn’t exactly like to hear another one’s name getting mentioned just seconds after lovemaking.” A guilty look passed over his face, “Awww, shit!... I didn’t think, I’m really sorry... I was just so happy you slept with me, sweetheart.” He stroked your hair away from your face, “Forgive me? And my big clumsy mouth?” You huffed a bit but eventually nodded, not least due to the soft kisses he was peppering over your face and neck.

He breathed a sigh of relief, “I seem to spend all my time apologising to you,” he chuckled, “I’m really making a mess of this fake dating.” “Can’t argue with you there, Billy,” you agreed. “Look, I’m gonna try a lot harder, okay?” he said, running a finger along your arm. You sighed, “Okay... well here’s hoping it’ll be alright on the night.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The rest of the week, you and Billy had traded phone calls and text messages but (to your secret disappointment) the two of you didn’t meet up. To your mind that could only mean that Billy, who’d admitted to you that he liked the thrill of the chase, had now already caught you so that was it as far as he was concerned. He’d said that his work had been crazy busy but you didn’t feel at all convinced by that.

Friday eventually rolled around, and you were glad you’d decided to take a half day off work to get ready. Karen had strolled up to your desk as you were packing up your stuff before leaving, and you recognised her ‘Serious Talk’ look on her face. She walked along to the elevator with you and followed you inside. “Y’know I hope you really enjoy your evening with Billy tonight, but....” she bit her lip before continuing, “...you know he’s a player, right?” She quickly put her hand on your arm as the elevator reached the ground floor, “I’m not trying to spoil your fun, honestly I’m not, but some of the things Frank’s let slip recently would make your toes curl. Billy’s totally ruthless when it comes to cutting women loose.” The elevator doors opened and you both walked out, with you saying, “Don’t worry Karen, I sussed that out the minute I saw him,” over your shoulder as you continued out into the main lobby. You stopped and turned to her, lowering your voice and continuing, “But I slept with him last weekend and just as expected, he’s avoided meeting up with me all during this week.” Her mouth tightened, and you knew you were in for a Page Lecture. “Gahhh! What were you thinking?! You’ve just reinforced his impression that he can pull any woman he wants and then disappear on her! I can’t believe you didn’t even wait for this gala thing tonight! You could at least have held off till then.”

“Yes, mom,” you sighed, then smiled at her. “But you know what Karen, he’s so hot I just couldn’t resist! And I knew exactly what his reaction would be, and he hasn’t disappointed. He’s been in touch obviously because we’ve got this thing tonight, but he’s been ‘too busy at work’ to meet up. I’m sure that in Russo-speak, that really means ‘too busy chasing tail’ but I’m cool with that. Like I said, it’s what I expected,” shrugging as you said this. “Hmmmm,” replied Karen, staring at you intensely as if trying to read your mind, “...well as long as you know what you’re getting yourself into.” “I do,” you reassured her, hugging her before walking away with a nonchalant wave.

Out on the street you exhaled a big breath. If only you truly believed that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy pulled up outside her apartment block and, as before, texted her to say he was there.

He was disappointed that he hadn’t been able to meet up with her during the week, and was also aware she probably thought he was avoiding her now they’d slept together. But he’d truly been up to his ears in it at work, and he wasn’t yet established enough in the security market to turn down job offers. So he’d taken on probably a few more than he should have done, and both he and Frank had had to weigh in on a couple of them to make sure they were handled correctly.

So apart from calls and texts, he’d had to miss out on seeing her. In fact, all he’d been thinking of the entire week was the prolonged session they’d indulged in last weekend. Once he’d apologised for mentioning Caroline’s name after they’d first made love, (really smart move Russo, he thought to himself) there had been a whole night of energetic and very enjoyable sex. Then a shared shower late the next morning after she’d woken him up with a surprise and very welcome blow job. God, the things she could do with her mouth! He squirmed in his seat, starting to get hard just thinking about it. He couldn’t wait for another one of those, that was for sure. Tonight after the gala if he was lucky!

He saw the main door to her apartment block open and she started walking towards the car. Wish I could get a better idea of how she looked in her dress, he thought. Oh well, I’ll just need to wait till we actually get to the place.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You slid into Billy’s flashy car, tucking your feet in last in an effort to be elegant. He leaned over, grabbing the back of your neck and kissing you long and hard. You eventually shoved him away, exclaiming “Billy! My lipstick!” You peered at his face, “And you’re covered in it!”

He burst out laughing, “Well, hello sweetheart!”

You handed him a tissue whilst you began trying to repair the smudges around your lips. He dampened it on his tongue and then quickly rubbed the burgundy colour off his mouth. Once you’d fixed your face, you leant over towards him and his mouth headed to yours again but you pulled back. “I’m checking your shirt collar to make sure there’s none on there!” Chuckling, he started up the car, “I did wonder why you waited till you’d put your lipstick back on before kissin’ me again.” “You kissed me!” you protested. He just laughed and manoeuvred the car into the traffic stream.

His head then swung towards you, “If you say so, sweetheart! Hey, I’d say you look beautiful but I can’t get a proper look at you in the car. So wait a little while till we get there and then I can compliment you properly, okay?” You nodded, “Yeah, same. I can’t get a look at you either.” Another chuckle, “You can see as much of me as you want later tonight, sweetheart.” “You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?!” Billy’s hand stole onto your thigh and travelled higher. “Wearin’ panties?” You tolerated his wandering fingers, “Yes I am, Marine. Sorry to disappoint.” He shrugged, smirk firmly in place, “Fine by me. They’re not gonna stop me gettin’ to where I wanna be anyhow.” Somewhat surprisingly to you, his hand went back onto the steering wheel. “But I’m gonna wait till we’re alone later. See, sweetheart - I’ve learned my lesson!” “Glad to hear it!” you shot back at him, before looking out of the window at the passing streets.

After arriving and parking at the venue, one of the big downtown hotels, you and Billy made your way upstairs to the function room. Leaving your coats at the cloakroom, Billy twirled you round in front of him, looking you over slowly from top to toe. “You look gorgeous,” he said admiringly, “really beautiful.” “Thank you. Not so bad yourself, Russo.” He was in one of his bespoke suits and was looking edible. He mock-bowed then leant down and kissed you on the lips, and you reminded yourself to act naturally when he did that. You both began walking towards the sound of music and chatter, his hand straying down onto the top of your ass as you went. Karen’s voice rang in your ears about how much of a player he was, and once again you fought the instinct to swat his hand away. If you could just do your duty and get through tonight, then you could put yourself deep into protective mode over this handsome devil.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Several gin & tonics later, you were returning from the ladies’ room and heading back to where you’d left your ‘boyfriend’ at the bar, wondering how much more of this tedious event you could stand, when you heard a high-pitched voice trilling, “Oh Billy! There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Hahah! you thought, this must be the infamous Caroline! Well, at least this next part is going to inject some much-needed fun into the evening.

You could see a small brunette standing in front of Billy with her hands grasping his biceps and beginning to pull him towards her. He spotted you approaching over her shoulder and extricated himself from her clutches saying, “Caroline.... how nice to see you! Just in time for me to introduce you to my girlfriend...” “Girlfriend?!” She whirled round and met your eyes, her own narrowing as she looked you up and down in a flash. You continued walking towards the two of them, noting that she was pretty but was heavily made up; she really didn’t need to plaster it on like she had but - whatever, you thought. Billy moved past her to swiftly put his arm around your waist and draw you to him, introducing you at the same time. She nodded her head briefly at you, “Hi, I’m Caroline. A friend of Billy’s.” She emphasised the word ‘friend’. You beamed back a big smile at her, “Lovely to meet another of his friends,” you said, also emphasising the word. You felt Billy tense up a bit, but you thought that playing the jealous girlfriend might be a good way to go, especially when you noticed the little smirk on her face. You tugged on his arm, “C’mon Billy, you promised me a dance,” you said in a ‘little girl’ voice, which nearly made you heave quite frankly but you felt struck the right note.

Billy raised a hand vaguely towards Caroline as he said to you, “Yes I did, sweetheart. Let’s go. Bye, Caroline - good to see you,” and then gave you a long kiss as the two of you headed to the dance floor. Once Billy had you in his arms, you felt his lips next to your ear and he whispered, “So.... jealous girlfriend, huh?” You nodded, smiling up at him, “She’ll like the fact that I think she’s a threat. But as long as you keep up the PDA’s, I think she’ll buy it.” He immediately kissed you, the hand which had been on your waist surreptitiously sliding downwards at the same time. As you broke apart from the kiss, you caught sight of Caroline glaring at the two of you from a table near the edge of the dance floor. You ran your hand up onto Billy’s jaw before continuing to the back of his neck. You’d discovered during your night together that this was one of Billy’s weak spots, so you trailed your fingers over his skin and had him wrapped round your finger within seconds, just as had happened that other night. He pressed his body close against you, ensuring you felt how aroused he was. “When can we skip out of here?” he breathed to you, making you laugh. “I don’t know! It’s your event - when do you want to stay until?”

Before he could reply, you were aware of a figure next to you and a hand went onto Billy’s arm. “Mind if I cut in?” asked Caroline, giving you a nasty smirk. However it dropped off her face when Billy said hurriedly, “Sorry, Caroline - we’re just leaving,” and began leading you off the dance floor. “Oh, that’s such a shame,” you heard, and realised she was trailing after you and Billy as you left the dance floor. “I was so looking forward to hearing all about how you & Billy met.” You stole a quick glance at Billy before saying over your shoulder, “Through mutual friends.” Still following you both as you headed over to pick up your coats, she rattled out, “it’s just that I’m a bit surprised - it seems quite strange that Billy never mentioned a girlfriend before tonight.” Billy looked irritated but his face became blank as he turned slightly back towards her and replied, “Uh, I am right here y’know!.... well Caroline, we never spoke about our personal lives so it’s not that strange at all to be honest.” You’d reached the small counter by now and had handed over the tickets to the attendant, and while you’d hoped that Billy’s answer would have silenced her, Caroline continued, “So how long have you been dating?” You turned and stared at her, and found her already staring back at you, “Mmm, it’s about two months now, isn’t it Billy?” and moved your eyes to his. He glanced quickly behind him at her, “ Yes, sweetheart - a little over two months actually,” he turned back to you, smiling fondly, “and I gotta say, they’ve been two of the sweetest months of my life.” He leant down and kissed you full on the lips.

Caroline’s lip curled up at this and was still curling as you met her annoyed gaze once Billy’s lips left yours. “Well,” she began, but was then interrupted by a tall older man who came up to the three of you and placed a hand on Caroline’s shoulder. “Hello, Russo,” he said, shaking hands with Billy who greeted him with a “Hi, Mike,” as the older guy’s eyes wandered quizzically over to you. “And who’s this lovely young lady, then?” he asked but before either you or Billy could say anything, Caroline spat out, “His girlfriend, Daddy - imagine that!” However her father merely gave you a friendly grin while Billy introduced you. After a quick handshake, he commented that it was a real shame that you were both leaving before he could buy you a drink. But Billy said firmly, with a mischievous look at you, “Sorry, Mike.... we’re... uhhh... quite anxious to get home.” Mike laughed knowingly while you heard a loud ‘tut’ from his daughter. You smiled brightly at both of them, “Well.... lovely to meet you and hope you enjoy the rest of the evening. Bye!” Taking your coat from the attendant, Billy helped you into it before putting on his own and the two of you said final goodbyes to Mike and Caroline before making your escape.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

“Thank god that’s over!” you breathed out a sigh of relief as you settled back into your seat, while Billy switched on the car’s powerful engine and it purred into life. “You didn’t enjoy it?” he grinned, “...even with such a charming boyfriend attending to your every need all evening?!” You laughed, “Sorry Billy, no I didn’t. I hated every second of it! But I think we accomplished the mission, don’t you?” Turning your head and watching his profile as he reversed the car out of the parking space, you asked, “D’you want me to get the dress dry-cleaned and you can take it back to the store? I mean I’ve only had it on for a few hours and I managed not to spill anything down it.” He glanced over at you, a strange look in his eyes. “No, I don’t want you to clean it and return it. It’s yours to keep. And yes, we did achieve our goal.” He started driving away from the hotel, and you realised it was the wrong direction for your place. You’d never been to his apartment but had a feeling that’s where you were heading.

“Where are you going, Billy? I just want dropped off at home so I can get out of all of this and relax.” He laughed, and for some reason you thought he sounded a bit pissed off. “Ahh no, that’s not happenin’, sweetheart,” he said, looking across at you, eyes gleaming with something but you weren’t sure exactly what. Determination? Desire? “We’re headin’ to mine. And yeah, you’re gonna be gettin’ out of those clothes, don’t worry.” “Look, Billy,” you said, feeling a bit uneasy for some reason, “...we’re done here, okay? We’ve already slept together, you got what you wanted so now you move on, correct? That’s your usual M.O. isn’t it? You made that obvious this week. Don’t worry, I got the message loud and clear. I’m not some clingy desperate woman that’s gonna keep chasing after you. I knew what the deal was with you the minute I set eyes on you. So.... just turn around and take me home.” You’d been staring at the road ahead but were aware of him shaking his head, “No.” You looked across at him, “No? What, you’re kidnapping me now?” “You can think of it that way if you like, sweetheart. I knew you’d think I was avoidin’ you this week, but I wasn’t. I’m not ready to let you get away just yet. We’re gonna go to mine, and you’re gonna spend the night on your back - and in various other positions - cos I need another night of sex with you.”

“And what if that’s not what I want? What if I don’t want to be used like a fuck toy before you disappear over the horizon? Doesn’t it matter to you what I want?” He chuckled, and you felt a little shiver of fear run through you, “Not right now, no. Because this is all I’ve been thinkin’ about the whole week. And because you’re sayin’ one thing, but you mean another.” “Really?! That’s what you think?” you scoffed, shaking your head, “You’re unbelievable, you know that? The level of arrogance....!” He pulled the car over into the inside lane and then turned into an underground car park. He killed the engine, and in the sudden silence you heard him say in a low voice, “Call it arrogance if you like. I call it knowing what I want and makin’ sure I get it.” He released his seat belt and got out of the car, coming round and opening your door before taking hold of your arm and pulling you out of it. He locked the car with a bleep of the remote on his keychain, then dragged you - firmly but not roughly - over to an elevator which he unlocked with a key before calling it down. Once it arrived, he hustled you inside and once the doors closed, his mouth was instantly on yours. He kissed you roughly, open-mouthed with teeth and lips and tongue all involved. His hands were undoing the buttons on your coat and then were inside it, immediately going to your breasts.

You struggled with him, trying to push him off but he continued kissing you, and you heard his voice telling you to just admit you wanted it. The awful thing was, you did want him and it annoyed the hell out of you. However his current attitude was also annoying the hell out of you so you continued to push at his muscled, toned body to get him off you. But you were no match for the ex-Marine and you heard a ‘ting’ and the elevator doors opening as Billy continued to kiss and grope you. He pushed you firmly out of the lift, keeping hold of your arm and propelling you towards a door - the only door, you noticed - and then into the apartment after he unlocked the door. He slammed it behind him then was on you in a flash, grabbing your bag and throwing it onto the sofa before stripping off your coat and dropping it on the floor. You were aware of being in a large open-plan space with floor-to-ceiling windows and trendy furniture, before you were scooped up as easily as if you were a throw cushion and carried into an equally large bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him and dumped you rather unceremoniously on the bed, stripping his clothes off in a matter of seconds and letting them fall where they may. Then he was back on you, flipping you over and unzipping your dress in one quick motion. He stripped it down off your shoulders, turned you back over and pulled it off you. You looked up at him, finally finding your voice, “Billy! Stop it.” He shook his head, “Nah, not happenin’ sweetheart. We’re gonna have sex now.” You opened your mouth but nothing would come out. Why couldn’t you say anything else?

Because you do want it, said a sly voice in your head. And whilst the caveman routine might not be the most appealing of Billy’s wooing techniques, he’d excited you beyond belief and you could feel how damp your panties were. You’d told yourself before the evening started that you weren’t going to have sex with him that night, but at the same time had perversely hoped that it would in fact happen. You were absolutely furious with yourself but at the same time, totally conflicted and unable to ignore the desire you felt for him.

You felt his fingers fumbling a bit at your back and then your bra was dramatically whipped off and thrown across the room. His mouth and hands were immediately on your breasts, fingers massaging and toying with one nipple while he licked the other, his tongue roughly raking over its peak and surrounding skin before he started to suck and bite at it, enough to make you squeal but not hard enough to cause you real pain. Then he swapped and your other breast came in for the same treatment. You felt his fingers sliding down your body and pulling at your panties, after a few seconds he then sat up and stripped them off you. They also joined your bra across the other side of the room. He lowered himself onto you, hands parting your legs and you knew he was guiding himself inside you. His hard length pushed into you and you felt the stretch much more than you had the first time you’d had sex with him. Of course he was in a more of a rush this time, seemingly desperate to have sex with you, judging by the way he’d thrown you down, ripped your clothes off and immediately got between your legs.

He slid his hands under your knees and lifted your legs up until your ankles were on his shoulders, deeply thrusting into you as he did so, and you heard yourself give a loud groan. He gave a long, low groan himself as he picked up his pace, and you heard his whispered words next to your ear, “You like that, sweetheart? Feel good?” “Yes!!!!!” you gasped, hating yourself for admitting it but it was the absolute truth. He kissed you passionately, hands running up and down your legs and onto your body as he thrust hard into you, mouth moving to your neck and collarbone, nipping at your skin then licking where he’d lightly bitten you. You climaxed first, Billy’s thumb having found its favourite place on your clit, and you’d dug your nails into his shoulders before running your hands up into his hair and pulling it. Hearing his answering chuckle, his hips cannoned into yours a final few times before you felt him release into you, and he sank down heavily on top of you, panting and trying to get his breath back. He moved off you and laid on his back, seemingly exhausted by his over-eager exertions. His head tilted towards you, “I’m not finished with you yet, sweetheart. Need more.”

You propped yourself up on an elbow, “Just what the fuck is all this neanderthal stuff about, Billy?” He sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. “Remember you said I wouldn’t know what a relationship was if it bit me on the ass?” “Yeah?” “You’re right. I’ve never experienced a loving relationship in my life. I dunno what love is, really.” Then out it all spilled.... his abandonment as a very young kid, the group homes, the abuse, the stigma. How he’d signed up for the Marines as soon as he was old enough, got a business degree before shipping out, how Frank had his back almost from day one. The dark eyes eventually looked into yours, “So just confirmin’ - I’m officially shit at relationships.” You nodded thoughtfully, “Well... now I understand things a little bit better, Billy. You discard women after a very short time as a self-defence measure, because you have a fear of being abandoned again. Ditch them before they can ditch you, right? Because you still have self-esteem issues, deep down underneath that confident exterior. It’s hard to overcome years of being looked down upon and sidelined.” You reached out and ran your fingers through his small patch of chest hair. He flinched slightly so you withdrew your hand, but his own hand went out and he laid it on top of yours for a brief moment.

Then he sat up a bit and stretched, laughing as he did so, “Told you, you’re in the wrong job, sweetheart.” He leaned back onto the pillows, carefully looking away from you, “Guess I didn’t do a very good job of lettin’ you know I want you to stay around and be with me?” You sat up, pulling one of the sheets over you, “What?” you asked. He looked over at you again, “All of this,” his hand waved vaguely between you and him, “This is me tryna let you know I really like you. I honestly missed bein’ with you during the week. An’ I was really busy, me and Frank, all week - I wasn’t tryna avoid you, okay? All I could think about was the night we spent together, how I want that to be a regular thing. Spend time with you.”

You started chuckling to yourself before it bubbled up into real laughter. He’d been looking down and fidgeting with the covers but now his head swung up and his eyebrows pulled into a frown. You calmed down a little and reached out to him, softly stroking his shoulder, “Billy... I’m not really laughing at you. Well, I suppose I am but only because I’m really surprised. That’s not how guys usually let girls know they’re interested! - kidnapping them and telling them that they will have sex with them.” Billy grunted, “Yeah, I realise that. It’s what I’m tryna tell you, sweetheart. I’m shit at this kinda stuff.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Sunday lunchtime, you met up with Karen who was gagging to know what had happened on Friday night. You dutifully recounted everything, even Billy’s metamorphosis into caveman as you left the hotel. Karen’s expression got more and more incredulous and as you drew to a close with his admission of being completely crap at all things relationship-related, she finally said, “Fuck! That’s unbelievable. So how did you leave things? You kick him to the curb?”

You took a sip of your G&T, and smiled back at her, “He wants me to teach him what a real relationship is all about.”

“And you’re prepared to take a chance on him and show him, are you?” You nodded, “Yeah I guess I am, Karen. I know it sounds crazy, but he wants to try. And I’d like to try. So we went from fake to genuine as of Friday night.”

She chuckled, shaking her head and sipping her drink before saying, “Well, you’re a glutton for punishment, I’ll say that for you. And I wish you the best of luck trying to tame that bad boy.” She lifted her glass and you clinked yours against hers, “Thanks, Karen. I’m just gonna take it one day at a time. If it doesn’t work out...” you shrugged, “...at least I gave it a shot.” She put her hand over yours, “Do you think he’ll keep it in his pants? He’s used to putting it about all over town,” squeezing your hand, “...sorry to have to say that honey, but it’s true.” You nodded, “Yeah I know, and all I can say is he’s promised he won’t be doing that from now on. But if I get even a whiff of another woman’s perfume off him, I will be kicking him to the curb faster than he can say ‘it’s not what you think, sweetheart’, believe me! And I’ve told him that too, in no uncertain terms.” She nodded, “Well, you’ve given him fair warning so if he fucks up, that’s definitely on him.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Frank threw his head back, giving a great belly laugh which went on for a lot longer than Billy Russo thought it should do. After a few moments, Frank’s face had gone beet red and tears were squeezing out of the corners of his eyes. Billy folded his arms across his chest, sitting back in the diner booth and scowling at Frank, “Okay, okay, Frankie - enough already,” he grumbled as Frank continued to laugh. Eventually Frank calmed down enough to speak, “Russo! I don’t believe it, I really don’t. Does that girl know what she’s letting herself in for?! She must be missing a few rounds out of her ammo clip.” Billy pulled a face, “Look... I like her, okay? She’s gonna teach me what a proper relationship’s like. She’s willin’ to give me a chance, so cut me some slack over here, will ya?” Frank took a big pull at his beer, “Oh Russo, how the fuck ya gonna keep it in your pants?” (unknowingly parroting Karen’s very same comment to her friend). Billy shrugged, “Look...I will, I tell ya. I mean it, I only want her. The sex is....” he made a chef’s kiss hand gesture, “....and she doesn’t take any of my shit, either. I really like her, Frankie. I think I’m ready to...” “Settle down? Really, Bill - are you? Cos if you fuck this up, you’ve got Karen to deal with as well as your girl.”

Billy took a hit of his beer, “You think I don’t know that? And I’d get a ton of crap from you too, cos Karen’d be upset. You like her, dontcha?” Frank’s cheeks went a slight shade of pink, “Well, yeah. I guess I do.” Now it was Billy’s turn to laugh, “You guess you do? Frankie, you’re like a teenager with a major crush every time your phone rings! ‘Ooh, it’s Karen!’” he said, the last bit in a high-pitched voice. “I do not talk like that!” Frank growled at him, “And you better spend your energy learning how to treat a woman properly, rather than ripping the shit outta me, Russo!”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your phone dinged and you picked it up, seeing a text notification from Billy on the screen. Turning your phone briefly towards Karen to show her this, you clicked on it and then smiled as you read it. Showing the message to her, she also smiled, “Wow, seems like he’s definitely trying!” You agreed, “I do believe he is!” Maybe this crazy relationship thing you and Billy had agreed to embark on did have a chance of working out after all. You definitely still had your misgivings - does a leopard (or panther) really change its spots? - but you were willing to give it a try as long as Billy stuck to his end of the bargain. No other women, no lying, spending a lot of quality time together... let’s just see how all that goes, you thought. Re-reading the text, it made you smile once more.

Billy’s text said simply, “I’m missing you, sweetheart. Come over to mine, I’ll cook you dinner.”

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(My photo edit)

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Tags: @blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry

(Using D&D’s taglist, if you’d prefer to be removed, just let me know!)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

[annlarimer]

So, see this tree? It's an American music history tree. It’s in front of a Target parking lot now, but it used to be next to a chicken restaurant called The Drumstick. This was back when 48th Street was lined with restaurants instead of strip malls. (To the right of the pawn shop across the street was a Shakey's Pizza, to tell you how long ago this was.)

  On their first national tour, which I imagine involved sleeping in a VW Microbus, REM's agent booked them into The Drumstick, which he assumed from the name must be a music venue. So this weirdass band out of some Georgia college town nobody had ever heard of played Murrican New Wave while Midwesterners ate their chicken.

I mean, it’s not a great story, but I see the tree every time I buy groceries. So now you have to see it too.

The only other local music history* I know is that Downtown, on a now demolished bit of 11th Street, there was a dive of a Mexican restaurant called something like La Paloma, but not really. Its exterior was plastered an alarming shade of orange, but its food was cheap and absolutely delicious. It was still going when I was in college and I saw a student production of El Grande de Coca Cola there that nearly made me puke with laughter. The cast was about five feet away. Remember that bit.

Now, I am the last of five children, and spent much of my childhood being hauled around in my siblings' cars, because Why don't you take Annie with you? I was little trouble except for the time Billy took me to see 2001 at the drive-in, I got scared of the monkeys, and barfed in his car. I also suspect Mom thought they would drive more safely, since killing your baby sister because you ran a stop sign was a bad look, and would be less likely to shoot up the Mary Jane or whatever they did back then.** So I knew most every street in town by the time I was in kindergarten. I promise this is going somewhere.

One day, when I'm like six or seven, I'm in the back of Mom's car with Kim and her boyfriend David (later her husband after some obligatory age 20s drama), and we go past La Paloma, and its tiny sign says:

TONIGHT BOB DYLAN

And I don't know much about music at that age, but I think, He's like really famous, isn't he? I see him on those funky-tasting Columbia Record Club stamps that come in the Sunday paper. Y’know, with musicians like Melanie and The Singing Nun. Then I think, Nahhhhh, it must be a different Bob Dylan, because any musician whose name I knew absolutely would not be playing in Lincoln, let alone at a restaurant even a 7-year-old can tell is kinda sketchy. And Kim and Dave aren't saying anything, and they’re adults and therefor KNOW EVERYTHING. So it must be some other Bob Dylan who lives here or in Omaha or something. I picture an adult in a brown accountant suit, possibly doing shitty comedy like my parents watch on Ed Sullivan.

Maybe 40 years later I'm reading some book on music and it mentions the time Bob Dylan got sick of giant audiences, so he went across the US, stopping at little holes in the wall and asking if he could maybe play? 

So that is the story of how my older siblings have never learned that they could have seen Bob fucking Dylan from five feet away for maybe four bucks if they had been paying fucking attention. I will never tell them. YOU MUST NEVER TELL THEM. 

*Neil Hefti, jazz trumpeter and composer of the Batman theme, was Nebraskan but from a different town. Yes, THAT Batman theme.

**Two of my other siblings once tried to bake dried banana peels to smoke. I may have overestimated the intelligence of those born a decade+ before I was.

[rivercule]

Okay: pros of trial of magneto

John Proudstar is back! It’s about time! Now don’t write him horribly (thankfully he’s only in like. 5 panels here)

JP and Kyle adopting JP’s resurrected daughter is really sweet

Wanda resurrecting herself and fixing resurrection was kind of cool

This panel is fun

This panel is sweet, it was nice to see Wanda and Lorna be sisters. (The whole “Wanda is Magneto’s daughter, blood or not” gives me the warm and fuzzies even though it isn’t deserved; he has never treated her well! He didn’t raise her! It needs a little more explanation than “we thought we were related for a few years so I guess we’re still family”. I want Pietro’s perspective here (and Billy and Tommy’s, but that’s less important)! I want Magneto to express more remorse and make a bigger effort for both twins and their kids! I want them to have a properly awkward relationship given their history, not one where she casually refers to him as “daddy” and “father” interchangeably while pietro is just grumbly or murderous but forgiving of how the other Brotherhood members treated Wanda.)

The confusing:

Old lady Wanda. I kind of liked seeing an older Wanda because she always dies in aus but she served ZERO narrative purpose, she was just there for aesthetics

Why was Wanda wearing her old costume the entire time?

The whole thing with the “kaiju” (How could Wanda from the early 1980s even pull something like that off? Why did she have to fight them after she “took responsibility for them”? Why were they kaiju at all?)

Why do I wish Toad was actually the killer? (There are obvious reasons, but also I think it would match HIS 1980s personality to want to become a hero to mutantkind by killing “the pretender”, Wanda wouldn’t immediately distrust him because he’s someone she knows and rather harmless… it kind of works. Now if and when the truth comes out, Toad will be a martyr and Wanda will be vilified again). I don’t feel for Toad in this situation because of how he’s treated Wanda historically and it’s good that Wanda is supporting him here (because even if he had killed her that would be overkill considering she’s fine now) but still like. Poor Toad

Was Magneto… crying over Toad? (Has he ever cared about/expressed remorse for how he treats Toad?) Was it because of his own involvement in Wanda’s death? Because Krakoa kind of sucks? L*ah Will*ams ships Magnetoad I think

Why was this marketed as a Maximoff family thing when Pietro, Billy, and Tommy were barely involved? People are complaining about it not being about Magneto but at least he was a significant character.

Is Wanda a mutant or not? It seems like they wanted to kind of handwave the thing that actually got people interested in this event.

The Virginia Vision mention ???

The updated resurrection stuff made no sense. I mean, with JP's daughter, sure. But John not having a Cerebro backup when Wanda did was weird, as was them acting like the Crucible isn't a thing any more (since that's for living mutants)

Did magneto tell Wanda about Moira? How’d she know about Kevin and Moira otherwise? He told her about the resurrection protocols so it’s not impossible but it’s still odd. Does Pietro know about the resurrection protocols? Tommy does know, right, because he and David discussed David’s death? It’s not a very well kept secret, is it?

The bad:

Everything else, pretty much.

Special mentions of awful stuff:

No one even brought up Jericho, Wanda’s long term boyfriend (because he's Black, and Leah Williams is racist)

The Wanda x vision tease :/

Wanda calling Magneto “daddy”

The art making Wanda look like L*zzie Ols*n

Wanda literally killing herself? The idea that she was pretty sure she could just... resurrect herself? I hate you Leah Williams

Seeing people defend this story (and X-Factor's horribly racist ending) as being the fault of editorial meddling and not a bad writer with a history of racism doing the same old shit

JP and Kyle's mini-arc about possibly having kids from X-Factor got a conclusion. If anyone really cared they could have done something about how horrible they treated David previously.

Literally everyone was horribly out of character

3 middle issues that amounted to nothing, any value they had seemed like it was ripped straight out of Wanda's 2015 series

Probably more I'm forgetting

0/10 stars. Cannot recommend you Do Not read this enough. If you did read this (and/or X-Factor and/or Leah Williams's previous awful and/or racist work) consider maybe writing into Marvel about how bad it was and how awful Williams treats characters of color.

[mlmxreader]

Kiss Me and Shut Up | Dan Torrance x Male!Reader

request; How about Sneaking away during a party to share stolen kisses with Dan Torrence and his male s/o - anon

summary; Dan isn't really keen on parties as it is, but he'll make an exception when it comes to you

warnings; mentions of alcohol abuse/addiction, alcohol and drug use, swearing

The sounds of 'Big For Your Boots' by Stormzy were pounding through the small house, making the walls and the floors vibrate as people danced where they could, holding bottles of beer and bottles of chilled soft drinks, the smoke from cigarettes and weed clung to the air and made it thick, causing everything to smell and to become sickly, but as you dragged Dan into the middle of it, he knew that he could handle it; having been sober for so long, he knew that he could handle it for a while, after all, there were soft drinks that he could have, and when he saw someone turn down a spliff, he did worry - until the smokers shrugged and invited them to sit down with them and to talk. There was no pressure. There was no way that he would be forced into it, and he knew that, with you by his side, the struggle wasn't his to hold alone, and all he had to do was to say that he was no longer comfortable and you would immediately take him back home with no questions asked.

He grabbed a can of Red Bull, the aluminium was cold to the touch and he was grateful for it. He was too old for parties, after all, if he let his stubble grow a little longer, the grey hairs would be more pronounced than they were currently, but you wanted to go, so he did.

You grabbed one of the other cans, cracking it open loudly and downing half of it before licking your lips and grinning. You had to shout over the music. "You good?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Dan nodded, although he did wonder how the hospice would survive without Doctor Sleep for a night. He supposed it wouldn't be too bad, after all, Azzie the cat was still there, and he was probably more of a help than Dan could ever be. "So, what's the plan?"

"The plan, Dear Dan," you chuckled. "Is to have as much fun as possible."

Dan smiled, agreeing to relax a little and to let himself go, David had always told him to do so, and Billy, and he supposed that maybe they were right, and maybe he shouldn't be so serious all the time.

He had no idea how to dance, if he was honest, he had no idea what to do with himself, but he followed your steps and your actions as much as he could; he saw a few people looking at you, and he heard the dangerous dog barking in his head with raw jealousy, but he kept it on a short lead enough to keep it back. After all, people were bound to look at you, you were the most handsome man there, you were the best man there. And still, even though people threw desiring and lustful looks your way, even though you could have had any person you wanted, you chose Dan. He was glad and kind of proud to call you his boyfriend.

But even still, when doing the rounds and chatting and catching up to a few people that you knew, old school friends that you had not seen for years, old college friends that you had lost contact with, old colleagues that you no longer saw; one of the people that you used to know, a man with shockingly blue eyes and a stutter, was a published writer and was working on his latest piece whilst also trying to plan his wedding to Mike, an old childhood friend of his. The other was a risk analyst who was marrying a famous comedian. It was a little bit of a curious shock to Dan that you knew so many people, although he wasn't exactly surprised considering that you were a popular man, people liked you and people enjoyed your company.

As time grew to climb by, though, ticking to the late hours of the night, growing closer and closer to the morning, the party raged on, and you and Dan disappeared; you snuck off to the spare bedroom, putting a tie on the door handle as you pinned him against a wall and kissed him furiously, letting him growl against you as he pulled you closer and messed up your hair before getting the upper hand. Carefully, Dan pushed you against the door, his hands on either side of your head as he stole kiss after kiss after kiss. But when Vossi Bop by Stormzy started playing, you grinned, and raised your brows. Dan knew what was coming, and he smiled as you dared to howl with all the might in your lungs.

"Fuck the government and fuck Boris!"

"Every time," Dan chuckled softly, stealing a kiss. "Every. Single. Time."

"Oh, please, don't act like you don't sing it, too," you teased, kissing his cheek. "Especially when you're in the shower."

Dan rolled his eyes at the comment. "Kiss me and shut up. Please."

"Oh, gladly."

[rfamess]

This cured my boredom for a little bit. Was making a few new music playlists and thought.. hmm. I wonder what kind of music the RFA listens to? So, I made this. For no reason at all.

What Kind of Music the RFA + V/Saeran Listen To:

Saeyoung/707:

- (I always see people writing that he’d listen to all star or other cringe meme songs because that’s what seems to be his entire personality, but I like to think he has more substance than that and listens to songs that don’t have to do with memes.)

- He definitely listens to rap/hip-hop.

- Can you not imagine him driving down the road in his cars, windows down, music blasting?

- He listens to his music uber loud in his headphones while working.

- His favorite artist is probably Tyler the creator, i mean, how could you not love him.

- Listens to Mac Miller when he’s sad :(

PLAYLIST:

Who Dat Boy - Tyler the Creator

Stutter - Freddie Dredd

Evil Fantasy - Freddie Dredd

Sweatpants - Childish Gambino

Bounce - Logic

Dead Wrong - Notorious B.I.G.

Movement - Oliver Tree

Stick to Your Guns - Watsky

Both - Gucci Mane

No Sleep Till Brooklyn - Beastie Boys

Can I Kick It - A Tribe Called Quest

No Limit - G Easy

Circles - Mac Miller

Broke Bitch - TMG (lol)

Bonfire - Childish Gambino

I THINK - Tyler the Creator

Good News - Mac Miller

I - Kendrick Lamar

FACE - Brockhampton

King Kunta - Kendrick Lamar

Lovely Things Suite: Knots - Watsky

Zen:

- (Similar to Saeyoung, I don’t believe Zens entire personality revolves around musicals, he probably doesn’t listen to them that often imo.)

- I like to think he’s a... well rounded individual when it comes to music

- Listens to anything and everything.

- I could see him listening to the same music as Seven, but is also very into 70s-90s rock like the Red Hot Chili Peppers and the like.

- He runs listening to all of his music on shuffle and doesn’t have a specific playlist so there’s never a certain vibe to it— it really is all over the place.

- In addition to Seven’s playlist, here’s Zen’s

PLAYLIST:

Funny Face - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Santeria - Sublime

Badfish - Sublime

The Luck You Got - The High Strung

Dedicated to the One I Love - The Mamas and the Papas

Heart of Glass - Blondie

Come as You Are - Nirvana

Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison

Machu Picchu - The Strokes

Dirty Harry - Gorillaz

Love of Your Life - Red Hot Chili Peppers

The Adults Are Talking - The Strokes

Bailee - The Licks

Where is my Mind - Pixies

Hurt Like Mine - The Black Keys

Gap - The Kooks

Give it Away - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand

Hoops - The Rubens

Conquest - The White Stripes

Ten Cent Pistol - The Black Keys

Yoosung:

- Yoosung likes more upbeat music, maybe more new age/alternative pop

- Listens to music every time he tries to study, but usually get distracted by it and starts to sing along instead of actually doing his work

- Is probably trying to branch out of his style, Seven and Zen try to convince him to listen to their favorite genres

- The three of them always argue about who has the best taste in music lol

- He’s constantly wondering if his music is “manly” enough (it’s okay yoosung it’s just music)

- If this dude gets drunk and hears any of this music he goes absolutely wild and dances all over the place

PLAYLIST:

Bambi - Hippocampus

Turn - the Wombats

Paris - Magic Man

Chronic Sunshine - Cosmo Pike

Death of a Bachelor - Panic! At the Disco

Silvertongue - Young the Giant

Brazil - Declan McKenna

Unbelievers - Vampire Weekend

Baseball - Hippocampus

Australia - The Shins

Prune, You Talk Funny - Gus Dapperton

Honeypie - JAWNY

Alien Boy - Oliver Tree

Satellite - Guster

So Young - Portugal. The Man

Blinding Lights - The Weeknd

Circles - Post Malone

Unbearably White - Vampire Weekend

Tiny Umbrella - Coast Modern

Way it Goes - Hippocampus

Electric Feel - MGMT

Jumin:

- this guy has 2 modes and that’s it: classical bitch or music that has words

- He appreciates the fine art of classical music and listens to it when he has work to get done or when he’s trying to relax.

- If he’s in a good mood he’ll put on a playlist that includes “music with actual lyrics!”

- It’s a dad playlist. Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Billy Joel, Elton John, The Beatles, Billy Joel.

- He likes Billy Joel. Jumin has a dad personality you can’t convince me otherwise lol

- He tried to branch out but can get very picky in his interests. “I don’t like this guitar riff— change it”

- Either way his 2 modes are apparent in his playlists

PLAYLIST:

Dreams - Fleetwood Mac

California Dreamin’ - The Mamas and the Papas

Don’t Ask Me Why - Billy Joel

Starman - David Bowie

Miss You - The Rolling Stones

Dancing in the Moonlight - King Harvest

Come and Get Your Love - Redbone

It’s Too Late - Carole King

Movin’ Out - Billy Joel

A Horse With No Name - America

I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles

Honky Cat - Elton John

Vienna - Billy Joel

The Stranger - Billy Joel

Waltz in A Minor - Chopin

Hungarian Dance No. 5 in G Minor - Brahms

Waltz No. 7 in C Sharp Minor, Op. 64, No. 2 - Chopin

Souvenir de Paganini - Chopin

Solfeggietto in C Minor - Bach

Prelude in B Minor, Op. 32, No. 10 - Rachmaninoff

IV. Allegro Molto From Quartet - Yo-Yo Ma

La Fille Aux Cheveux de Lin - Debussy

Porz Goret - Yann Tiersen

Carnival of the Animals: VII. Aquarium - Camille Saint-Saëns

Carnival of the Animals: XIII. The Swan - Camille Saint-Saëns

Jaehee:

- We all know her obsession with Musicals (specifically zens)

- Other than this she listens to...well honestly I don’t know

- Her music doubles as something she can get hyped up with and something she can listen to to relax.

- She loves to dance, so a lot of her songs and just songs that she’ll never be able to refuse to move her feet to!

- She likes the old classics and then she likes Doja Cat. Lizzo? Queen.

- She’s a barb let’s be real please. you can never convince me that she’s not

PLAYLIST:

Adore You - Harry Styles

She - Harry Styles

Call Me - Blondie

Starships - Nicki Minaj

Hey Mickey - Toni Basil

Juice - Lizzo

Say So - Doja Cat

Voulez-Vous - ABBA

Waterloo - ABBA

Cuz I Love You - Lizzo

Killing Me Softly With His Song - Roberta Flack (LOL the memories associated with this song after Killing Stalking..... hahahaha BUT ITS STILL A GREAT SONG!)

Only - Nicki Minaj

Boss Bitch - Doja Cat

Go Your Own Way - Fleetwood Mac

Beez in the Trap - Nicki Minaj

Woman - Harry Styles

9 to 5 - Dolly Parton

Blame it on the Boogie - Michael Jackson

One Way or Another - Blondie

Tia Tamera - Doja Cat

Truth Hurts - Lizzo

V:

- indie boy indie boy indie boy indie boy

- Cmon just look at him he’s an indie boy

- If you’ve ever met a film student that gatekeeps music, they have the same exact taste but V won’t say shit to make you feel stupid. It’s just music bruv

- If you’ve ever been to an indie concert you know the fuckin dance you know what I’m talking about. he does that.

- Rolls a joint, pops the music off and he paints, does photography, whatever. Either way he straight vibes every single time the tunes come on.

- Low key thinks he has the best music taste. that’s just how dem indie kids roll let’s be real here.

- For some reason knows everything about every type of music. will spew facts about artists and songs at random

PLAYLIST:

Shuggie - Foxygen

Necessary Evil - Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Homage - Mild High Club

Another One - Mac DeMarco

Plants - Crumb

What Once Was - Her’s

Heart and My Car - Summer Salt

Cottage Roads - The Walters

Moonlight on the River - Mac DeMarco

Work This Time - King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard

Like Yesterday - Paul Cherry

Call it Fate, Call it Karma - The Strokes

Knowhere - Nick DeLaurentis

Escargot Blues - Guantánamo Bay Surf Club

A Side / B Side - Tipling Rock

Dark Red - Steve Lacy

That I Miss You - Vansire

Top Tier Love - Lonely Benson

Driving to Hawaii - Summer Salt

Taking Up Space - Mustard Service

She’s the Only One - King Guru

Saeran:

- emo boy emo boy emo boy

- We all know it

- As much as I’d love to say he listens to heavy death metal, there’s a part of my mind saying NO he’s not like that.

- Well he is, but he’s got more than a few single interest

- Probably listens to Nirvana, Cage the Elephant, anything similar

- Is always trying to listen to new music

- Kind of sick of Seven blasting his music all the time and listens to the opposite of hip hop whenever possible

- Honestly enjoys all types of music, but sticks to his favorites

PLAYLIST:

- All Apologies - Nirvana

- Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene - Hozier

- Soma - The Strokes

- Black Madonna - Cage the Elephant

- Hysteria - Muse

- Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High - Arctic Monkeys

- I Got Mine - The Black Keys

- Supermassive Black Hole - Muse

- Under the Bridge - Red Hot Chili Peppers

- Back Against the Wall - Cage the Elephant

- Creep - Radiohead

- Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

- Demon Days - Gorillaz

- Bulls on Parade - Rage Against The Machine

- Matador - The Buttertones

- Holiday - Green Day

- RIP - The Licks

- London Calling - The Clash

- Loser - Beck

- What I Got - Sublime

[blankdblank]

Hobbit Soulmate Pt 41

The Jens and Ben had to head to their preplanned after parties alongside Orlando’s girlfriend, with tight hugs to you, both again stole a glance at the same ring on your finger they had admired earlier in the night without your having to show it off. Having shared the observation that a unique design like that made it all the more special and suited for your fated relationship. Liv from the group snuck to your side in the ride to your new place in the limo the four hobbits had arrived in with Viggo, David and Sean B.

Smiling widely she took your hand saying, “I am so excited. I know the house will just be perfect.”

“Will be one day hopefully.”

Orlando asked, “3 Million is pretty steep for you, right?”

“That’s just the average for the block, but it’s 1.5, got a good deal for it.” Your dad said.

Andy said, “Peter will be sad for missing out.”

“No problem, baby business is more important house isn’t moving. He can drop by later when it’s done.”

“Oh that’s nice,” Sean A said leaning forward to see the five story marvel the limo stopped at turning more heads with the group all taking turns spilling out onto the sidewalk.

Once out of the car you let go of your skirt to reach into your clutch bringing out the keys you held in the hand lowering to lift your skirt again leading the walk to the darkened front stoop. Excitedly Liv kept up with you smiling widely at the adventure luring smiles out from the others again who had noticed the extra bars added to the front entrance you unlocked to pass through the shadow finding the lock in the dark by thwacking your knuckle into the knob by mistake. Explaining the bars your dad said, “There are lawyers and some politicians who live on this block, they voted for the extra gates on the doors together. It’s a good neighborhood they just wanted extra security so people can’t pound on their doors I guess.”

Andy chucked saying, “That’s alright, heard a few lads back home who thought of gates too to keep their doorbell off limits.”

Billy, “Could also help with pets to keep them from running away down the steps.”

Your dad said, “There’s a buzzer for guests when it’s locked, which you could see-,” he said reaching over your head to find the light switch panel turning on both lighting up the stoop along with the main floor. Eyes shot from inside the mudroom to the again dark stoop at the bulb dying that had you giggle for its timing on its dying breath. “Perfect timing. Lazy bulb,”

Dominic said pointing at the buzzer panel lined in a silver frame, “Ooh, nice buzzer, shiny,” that the others could see in the light from the mudroom.

You smiled unlocking the next door, saying to yourself in easing them open, “I can imagine myself fighting these having to pee,” that earned chuckles from the others while this switch you managed to find turning the three lighting up the main open areas and what would be your study/library. Behind them the group closed the front doors and pooled into the front entrance blocking off the view of the cameras gathering on the sidewalk. “Ok, first off, mind the floors, Dad took out a few walls so there are a few uneven grooves where those were,”

Sean B asked eyeing the dent in the floor, “And that crater?”

Glancing from him to the dent and back again you said pointing up bringing the dimly lit chain to their focus as to why this area was the least lit, “Old tenant liked to hang things on the chandelier, it fell, but the chain and mount have been repaired just have to think of what to get to replace it.”

That had Liv saying, “You liked the chandelier in my study, it came as a set the other is just sitting up in my attic. It’s yours, housewarming gift.”

“Oh, thank you, gift,” you turned for the stairs lifting the box there, “Wedding present, before you can explore.”

Smiles spread through the group watching her open it and let out an excited squeal, “You bought me a typewriter!” Moving closer to wrap you in a tight hug, “Thank you, I love it,” her husband chuckled accepting it to settle it down back on the stairs adoring his wife’s new addition to her collection. “You are getting my chandelier, when are you back to Canada?”

“Tomorrow,” you said in her move back.

Your dad said, “I’ll be staying here though to mind the repairs.”

That had her smile at him, “Good, I will bring it for you at the apartment then.” Then she asked you, “What’s first?”

You pointed to the study, “This one over here is a sort of study or library, bit perfect for it once we get the shelves in.”

Viggo came in smiling wider imagining the long ended room stretching behind the stairs saying, “Perfect for a hiding spot for books.”

Out you went allowing everyone to have their own turn to envision it while you led the way across the floor past the stairs to the living room where more than a few took focus on the fireplace mantle shaped wonderfully. “This is gonna have carpet, in a sort of swoop shape right to the edge of the closet there. Up to this pretty wall with this detailed milky glass pane with the vines that go with the mantle carvings. Ooh, before the kitchen here’s my favorite guest bath,” you said crossing the floor pointing out a groove for them before they each took a turn in the black and cherry themed bathroom under the stairs then turned to head with you to the kitchen. “And there’s this other bath over here around the corner to the pantry,” each looking over the cabinets on the ground and counters without a top broken and split showing how someone had beaten into them.

Your dad said, “Used to have two rooms here we tore out, just shrank the place down absurdly. And over here we’re gonna add an island and move this counter and that whole wall outside the pantry and bathroom is going to have built in cabinets and cubbies for the dishes and spare appliances and whatnot. And maybe a built in for the dining area, bench possibly.”

“Oh and you should have seen it when the sun was out, this sunroom, just glows, new sunroof and needs some tile but leads to the patio. Helps to distract from the travesty that will be reborn into a kitchen.”

Sean A, “It’s not the worst I’ve seen, don’t be nervous about it.”

Elijah, “Where does this go?”

“To the basement,” you said with a smile, “I love these stairs. Just out of a castle.” You said and he smiled leading the way down the hall to the stairs lit by a switch you found and amusedly the others headed down as Liv kept close to your side wondering what the basement held as her mind was already reeling with love for all she’d seen so far.

Her smile doubled as you said tapping the chute door on the wall, “Laundry chute,” you heard the group excitedly exploring into the laundry room already after he turned on the light switch he was warned of to light the way by your dad.

Dominic was heard saying, “It’s got a kitchen!” already leading the swarm out through the floor relaxing you a bit you didn’t have to play guide down here.

“Oh I love these stairs,” she said and took notice of the chutes and gasped excitedly at the laundry room, “So much space, love this.” Out she went and smoothed her hand on the door to the apartment, “Love these doors.”

“Keeps nice and separate from the living space, and the garden entrance too.” Ignoring the patches on the walls tours of the kitchen and spare bath in silver and blue that led into the spare bedroom. Past the hall the bedroom was next to be explored with the open study lined with pillars. “This could be a sort of study area, like not a room but a room.”

Sean B, “Great for when you have kids to work here and let them run around.”

Billy, “Plus good to keep the little ‘uns from climbing into the fireplace at not being out of sight.”

Your dad said, “We’ve ordered glass doors for the fireplaces already to replace the old ones that were broken to help with that too.”

Orlando smiled saying, “Can we go up now? Gotta see more.”

You smiled and led the group back up hearing them turn off lights on the way with just flashes of cameras from one cameraman who’d climbed onto his car to see simple glances over the closed shutters covering the lower half of the windows. Back to the staircase on the main floor you led the way up to your dad’s floor to Ian’s saying, “Those shutters are a lovely touch. Adds to the privacy without barricading yourself in.”

“They might add to the castle touches a bit. Least for my take on them. This one’s dad’s floor.”

He flipped the switch lighting the main open area starting the tour in the wave shaped long bath/closet mixture feeding into a spare bedroom with the group eager to follow you again. “This would be the guest bed and bath.” Out of that crossing the floor was another fireplace containing open area, “Another living room, where my big tv is going.”

Another mini kitchen past the dividing wall similar to the one downstairs with a small room after for an office or hobby room, back past the staircase with exposed shelves was the impressive master bed and bath he had chosen.

Again those stairs called and up the group went to explore the three open rooms, two with sliding doors the other without any. Split by shared baths without a mini kitchen clearly could be the guest floor shaped in elegant curves around a rounded nook in the center of the back wall divided by a milky glass paned set of sliding doors.

“Oh there’s so much space,” Viggo said smiling at you, “guess this is for the babies?”

“I mean, if I had to pick I’d think that one would be a nursery, just has the best view and the one that way would be too close to the road and there’s a fire and police station.”

Liv, “Oh I get that, same as my place, gonna be interesting when babies come.”

Billy asked, “Let me guess, animals for the design?”

Awkwardly your grin crept out answering, “Peter Pan, actually, my mom had sketches for mine. Found this cool pirate ship chandelier for it. I haven’t said anything about this to Rich yet.”

Sean A shook his head, “Won’t hear it from us. I know my wife had it all planned long before we ever got engaged. And it is good to pick the room when you pick the home.”

Andy, “And you have a yard?”

“Small one, but we can always take the courtyard back to stretch it out some more the tiles are coming up anyways we’d need to replace them. But when these imaginary babies get older we’d have time at the ranch back in Texas too and the place in England has a decent back garden if we end up there when they get to school age.”

All the parents agreed that was a big thing for you as a cross continental couple who would be traveling often making your dad say, “Either way I’d be bunking in as stay home grandpa, so work travel won’t disturb that,”

You added, “And I was thinking for this room across here on this long wall for these built in bunk beds. Like stairs in between them all wood, surrounded by shelves and cubbies.”

Ian, “Twin beds?”

Your dad, “We mocked up a group of Queen sized beds, so not fully a kids room could also be for adult guests. Gonna have some added to my spare bedroom on my floor too in case family wants to drop in with all the munchkins.”

Ian smiled trying to picture them, “I can’t wait to see them.”

Elijah said, “I’m thinking by this layout your room is huge, like whole top floor.”

That had you giggle and lead the way up the final set of steps, “Not the whole floor, bigger than my bedroom now,”

You flipped on the light and the open floor plan had eyes traveling throughout from the mini kitchen they passed to get to what would be the study across from the open living room. The floor was worse up here with scuffs and dents between chipped planks and the damage to the bathroom had Liv gasp and cover her mouth in the horror scene and Dominic ask, “Did the old guy just like to party?”

Your dad answered, “Well he was a lawyer and he decided not to pay his rent and then decided to tear the wiring and pipes out of the wall and just broke everything he could on the way out through his eviction. Part of how the price got so low, all that had to be repaired and Jaqi picked new tiles for the counters, floors, new wood and carpet to go with the new cabinets and shelves that will be swapped after the flooring is done. They’re coming to tear it up in a few weeks, and by the time it’s all out the new flooring will be in and the wood will be piled in the garage for the woodwork. But we at least got these spacious tubs, showers and sinks replaced at least so far for the bathrooms. Not a full remodel after what I’ve manage to handle for Jaqi.”

Liv, “You have a garage?”

Your dad said, “On the other side of the yard, it’s got parts and supplies all in it now that will be cleared out when the repairs are done.”

“Which it doesn’t really need much since dad’s been sneaking here before I got to look at it and handled the plumbing and wiring, including the black brass fixtures I love. So not a full tear down job. And I’m glad he managed to find these huge tubs.”

Sean B said, “Nightmare,” along with David who added, “You lucked out, good move dad, because I have been there. Wanted to commit arson.”

Elijah, “What about the roof? My first three apartments had terrible roofs I had mold down my walls within a month each time, went house hunting and the realtor turned and I was up in the attic before they knew it, flashlight in hand scoping it out.”

Your dad answered, “New roof, brand new had to change out a beam and did that all at once to fix the dip and prevent the water damage before it started raining again. Another winter and the snow would have taken it out. But it’s been built up to a safe foundation for my little girl to start out on.”

Liv, “It is a great start, and I really do love the shutters you have that block out the bottom half. Helps to let the stars and light in. Have you thought on curtains yet?”

“Not really, I know I’d want to not have those sheer curtains, I love it for yours but they creep me out middle of the night,” earning a few chuckles from the group, “Especially under ac vents. Rich’s has these nice green ones he picked fabric for his mom to make for him she might help pick some fabric for me to make them. And that all goes in with the paint and wallpaper discussion.”

Orlando, “Well you’ve picked a great place to make your own. You can throw one hell of a party when it’s done.”

Dominic, “And I know the perfect painting for your wall downstairs.”

David, “And you should let Peter know and by the end of the week when the shelves are in you’ll have tons of stuff to fill them from Weta.” That had you giggle again.

Viggo, “I’m making you something, I’ll know it when I feel it.”

Billy asked, “Where’s your music room going to be?”

“Don’t know yet.”

Your dad said, “Either way the floors are all soundproof so wherever it goes will be perfect.”

David, “Soundproof would have been dangerous for me and my siblings. Our mother lived by crashes and distant muffled screams.”

You and your dad said, “We’ll hear it,”

David, “For now, we need to feed you, Hugh said he’d get us a table to celebrate Joe’s win.”

Your dad smiled saying, “You guys won things too.”

Sean B waved his hand, “We’re old news, have to celebrate your first win. Come on, let’s feed you.”

Lights were shut off all the way down and you locked up while Liv clung gladly to her box she settled on her lap unable to wait for the time she got home to find the right place in her home when she got there. While it needed work the project home had every one of them searching for what they could find to add to the shelving to come along with coating those walls desperately needing some paint.

Once at the place Hugh smiled giving you a hug, “Sorry, had a few interviews, but I am seeing your place next time I am back in town. When are you coming back from work?”

“Couple months, floors and shelving should be done by then leaving furniture and painting debacles.”

Hugh, “Just the basics, how big? Bed, bath, footage?” His eyes narrowing a bit to make it click in his imaginary home he was drafting for your personality.

“8 bed, 7 bath, 7500 square foot.”

“Wow,” he said, “Don’t hear that a lot out here, more than one story, right?”

“Yes, five including the basement.”

“Lot of stairs,” he replied in a chuckle.

“My apartment is five flights up, so it’s the same, but at least now everything around it is mine so if I’m tired I can sleep anywhere.”

He chuckled and Andy said, “Even has this cool gate at the front to keep people from the doorbell. Apparently there’s a lot of politicians and lawyers who voted for them.”

Hugh, “Voted?”

“Brownstones are historical styles and there are councils you have to consult on anything structural on the front, they picked the more classical wrought iron gate appearance matching the gates around the front walkways leading to the basement apartments.” Your dad answered gaining a nod while you all took your seats.

“Probably only close them when I’m not in New York, there’s a mud room behind that until you’re inside and that could only be hard to race my bladder on days I’ve been busy.”

Hugh said, “I can agree with that, especially after nights out and a long ride home, had many times one of my first apartments had to knock on the neighbor’s door to pop in on the way up.” He flashed a grin to the waitress that brought in a round of menus and he asked, “I saw on the news something about you and Keanu Reeves?”

“He lives next door in the apartments there, got home when our Landlord was waiting to show me the new place and he was being tailed I guess and they caught the introduction moment.”

Elijah, “Those shutters will certainly help with that in the future.”

Hugh glanced his way then to you as you said, “It has big front windows. And there are sectioned shutters inside that cover the lower half on one set and a second for the top so if I want light then I can still leave the top open and someone would have to stand on a car like a camera guy did tonight seeing us all heading in.”

“I love that,” he said, “Might have to borrow that idea.”

“I mean it’s not like I streak or go running around in my underwear but walking around and the front room is feet from the street it can get kinda awkward to catch someone’s eye.” Making the others chuckle, “I’d like to have curtains for night time but the place just glows when the top shutters are open, which we might have just caught it at the right time and it’s all shadows after that hour passes but for an hour it is perfect.”

Hugh, “I feel like that’s a realtor tactic, finding that window to trap you. Been browsing options for price ranges on what we might be able to rent and they all have a certain glow to each picture I’ve seen. But I’m glad you love it and I will be available to help often cuz I got chosen for The Boy From Oz on Broadway through the winter.”

“Oh that’s amazing,”

“Thank you,” he said with a massive grin, “I am excited about it, my last couple films did help.”

“They love a big name, no secret about that, I was a last minute tolerance out of desperation losing lead and understudy who only my teacher had been gunning for me they so badly wanted me to fail so they could find someone bigger who could draw in crowds. I will be getting a seat for the show when it’s out.”

“I can’t wait for your next show, wonder how you can top Chicago.” Next projects picked up and over the meal animatedly carrying on through to split rides home.

.

Face washed and changed to sweats again cuddled up to your dad’s side you slept trying to ignore the fact that Richard still hadn’t returned your message from the night before or the call you’d made to him earlier that morning. True you’d have to wake up early to catch your plane so you might miss his return call while you were in the air or jumping right back to work. And it did bother you to leave your dad here alone but he was dedicated to ensuring the new home would be taken care of while you were away, glaring the workers into line protecting his baby girl in your absence. Keeping everything in line on the most unpleasant tasks to handle that while he could to spare you that hassle until the day you had to take over when he had been drug kicking and screaming to the afterlife hopefully when you yourself were old and grey.

.

“So, I sort of bought a house,” came out of your lips and mouths dropped from your friends hearing about it and from the mention of spare bedrooms you could swore Lee was already wide eyed with pupils dilating to commence the begging.

.

Fully drained your pasta sat waiting for the sauce you were stirring to finish when your phone rang in a call from Richard luring a curious grin across your face. “Hey Richy Rich, busy day?”

After a calming exhale Richard steadied himself and said, “I am so terribly sorry I’ve been a bit distracted, but I swear I’ve been thinking about you the whole time.”

“It’s ok,”

“I caught a glimpse of the award show, Joe have fun?”

“He did, so glad he won something for his acting to add to the wall.”

“That’s great, how was your break from work?”

“Good, um, Dad took me to the Brownstone, it’s really nice under the scuffs.”

“That’s great, so you want it then?”

“Yes, I um, I put 250k into it for a down payment.”

“Fantastic, so it’s not too much then?”

“1.5 mil, which is staggering, but I could always put funds from the box office pay into it whatever that will be, and Keanu Reeves apparently is our neighbor when it’s done. I helped dad pick the new flooring and sketched up new cabinets and shelves, old guy broke all that.”

“Can’t wait to see it, I know I’ll love it.” You could hear his anxious pause before he said, “While we’re on news, um, as far as real estate goes, I bought us a house too.”

“Another one?”

“Well, got a call from a buddy from my real estate days with a tip. I have a buyer for the old one, Chris has been helping me pack, why I was distracted. It really is perfect I know you’ll love it, I love having the three of us for Holidays but my place was kind of small. And this is going to sort of come out upside down, but Chris finished his degrees and now he’s been hired with a good place and he put funds down on a house of his own closer to Mum and Dad, but his roof caved in.”

“Oh, he okay?”

“Oh he wasn’t there, it was another deluge over a week and the beams gave out, some error on the build code, but he’s having that replaced. And I moved near Oxford to be by him in the first place so knowing he was close to finishing I have been looking at places close by too and with the funds coming in I was able to pick something more spacious. So I settled on the big place Mum has always wanted a tour of it and the owner I bought it from was be glad to be rid of it for people trying to buy it to tear it down for more flats. Moved in yesterday and while his place is being fixed up him and his girl are moving in until the new roof is built.”

“They’re moving in together now?”

“Yes, she’s already been talking to her doctor about some hormone shots for a baby. He’s picking a ring and they’re going to pick a date for a court ceremony to make everything official.”

“So what happens if she gets pregnant and they’re still at your place.”

“Our place, and it shouldn’t take long he was quoted a month to mend the damage, they know it’s our place and she’s not too fond of the size of it, shares your cleaning urges when she gets stressed. Their place is the same size as my old place. I really do know you’d love it, blue shingles and grey slate tiles outside, covered section on the drive right in front of the door. Two stories, tons of room, and,” he said pausing to wet his lips, “It’s got the perfect room for a nursery upstairs overlooking the back garden.”

That had your grin creep out, “I suppose we’ll have to trade pictures when you get here then.”

“Yes we will,” he hummed happily then asked, “There’s room for little ones in the brownstone?”

“8 bed 7 bath, 7500 ft, it’s got a small yard about the size of my apartment but we can always take trips to the ranch in Texas or out to England as they get bigger and need more space.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard of an 8 bedroom anything in New  York before.”

“It is out there, as far as what we’re getting, I’ve seen 14 million for penthouses or town houses with no more than 4 beds and two are usually Murphy beds to share as office space. But it is going to be amazing, I do have to warn you I also found a room fit for a nursery.”

“Thank you, for doing that, I know we haven’t settled on a time frame for when babies might be coming but I do like that we have a place for them to have as their own. And eight bedrooms is so much room.”

“Some aren’t as spacious as they sound, and dad took out some walls on the main floor especially which just would have gouged the living space. So now we have room. But I have seen where we could do bunk beds, not like wobbly metal ones but where they are built against the wall with shelves around them for books and such, then there’s space to play. I did pick carpet for the bedrooms and the room I picked for your study.”

“I have a study?” He asked excitedly.

“Yes, it’s on the top floor, great lighting and we’re going to add shelves and a desk if you like that you can pick or armchairs for a sort of deflating zone for you if you need it. It has its own fireplace.”

“Perfection. What about you? No study for you?”

“There’s this little odd room on the main floor to the left as you walk in, runs behind the stairs, I thought it could be like our mini library,”

“Oh that’s fantastic.”

“Yes, not too big to entertain there but it’d be nice to hid in, stash some big armchairs and just cuddle up, maybe have a wardrobe for blankets and pillows.”

“That’d be amazing, and I truly love the carpet idea.”

“Good, I picked a sort of crème color, then we can have runners and rugs for halls. It’s got new ac and heating and fireplaces have all been repaired to be wood burning but winter, it’s gonna get chilly and I did not want door to roof wood floors, especially if we’re gonna have kids playing on it. I don’t really care if it gets stained in their rooms and we could always toss a rug on top of a designated play area anyways, something more colorful, the guys after the show were glad for a tour and I thought they might be iffy on carpet since most people are crazy over wood.”

“I love carpet, crème is a great choice, there’s something therapeutic about vacuuming, and wood floors things can just ghost around when you sweep it.”

“Exactly, oh, and dad talked about getting a puppy.” That had him chuckle, “He misses our old dog Jet. We’ll train it so it won’t destroy anything. Do you have a preference on paints or wallpapers?”

“Not particularly, I love the choices you picked for your apartment, you can choose what you like and I’ll love it.”

“I just know we’ll have to paint everything, there’s huge chunks of replaced drywall, he broke the counters and cabinets in the kitchen,” that had him scoff, “And he tore the damn cabinets off the wall, all of them,”

“Arsehole.”

“Exactly, and he tore out the pipes and wiring, smashed tile flooring and these beautiful milky glass panels that are in these half walls dividing the open living and dining areas.”

“There’s more than one dining area?”

“Yes, mini kitchens for our floor and dad’s and in the basement. Ooh, and we have laundry chutes! The basement steps are sort of dangerous for hamper hauling, you know those spiral staircases they have in old castles, all from this pretty wood, pretty but dangerous for hauling. Oh, and Dad’s going to add barn door gates to the stairs like at the big house at the ranch to add to the prep on munchkins.”

“I love it already. I am all for hurling dirty laundry into a hole in the wall to hide it from guests. And I do love those gates. Have you picked where furniture goes from our places?”

“No, not yet. I sort of want to see it when the floors are done, then when I get back I can help dad start to prime the walls so we won’t see the patches, ooh and Liv is gifting us the twin to her tree branch chandelier for the chain by the door, and also I found a pirate ship one for the nursery.”

“Pirate ship,” he chuckled out, “Sounds lovely, pirate theme then?”

“My mom had some Peter Pan sketches for mine, thought it might be a nice theme.”

“Now that will be phenomenal to build that up. Truly. We could double it here if you like, I absolutely love it.”

Sheepishly you smiled at your food you’d been taking sparing bites of between turns talking at your place on the floor in the living room glad he didn’t think this was weird to have planned this already. It wasn’t hard to find out why tears were threatening to fill your eyes, the tie to your mom you missed even without truly knowing her yourself, knowing that she would have given anything to have been here right now to plan a wedding and nursery with you to raise your babies in. “Thank you.”

“I absolutely understand, my mother is a formidable force in my life, who out of tradition will be insisting on a stuffed turtle in the room, anywhere, but there must be a turtle. And she could find the best curtain material for a Peter Pan theme with blankets galore.”

“My aunt makes these plushy pillows shaped like animals, we could have that in the story corner or something.”

“I love story corner idea, I can see Mum loading up on the classics now.”

“We have ample copies out at the ranch, still have mine, we could have a whole section of shelves for the kids sorted by age. And those time traveling tree house book series and the Junie B Jones series and Madeline and Suess, Giving Tree and that Sidewalk book.”

“And we have to add the Beatrix Potter books too to go with the Hobbit.”

“They will be getting their own illustrated copy for their room, it will be read often, trust me.” That had him chuckle deeply beaming with tears in is eyes planning all this. Wiping a tear away he heard you say, “We haven’t um, we haven’t talked about, for the wedding, last names. Liv was talking about how she did that for hers.”

“I have no qualms taking your last name,” he blurted out parting your lips, “Honestly I don’t they’ll still be part of my family and Chris’ kids can keep the name, your dad took your mum’s name and I would really love to do that for you. No one can say my name right anyways,” that had you giggle and wipe away your own tear.

“Richard Crispin Pearisiyiae?”

“Sounds flawless doesn’t it?” He said with a smile, “People get married all the time in the industry and I can keep my stage name. If they try to give me trouble for my passport I can hyphenate it for the pencil pushing jerks. I am not letting you give up that name, however chauvinist that hints to I love you and I won’t do that to you. It will never be something my family takes personally ever either, I swear that to you I’ve talked to my parents about it when I said I was going to propose.”

“You do realize your name is more vanilla than mine is, it’s a lot of vowels together.”

“I’m prepared, I’ve practiced signing it already,” that had you giggle again, “Primary school all over again full journal with hearts and all signing our names in hearts.”

“This new place of ours, how much work does it need?” You said with a smile trying not to focus on that tear drawing image of his thoughtful promise.

“Surprisingly all it needs is a water heater. It almost seems too good, I’ve been over every inch and had people to check the pipes and everything else. So far all I can find is this obnoxious bird nested on a corner of the back porch cover.”

“Well we can handle that, give them a nice little house,”

“So encourage it, fair plan,” he teased making you giggle again.

“Win them over, kill with kindness.”

“Ah, so end goal the bird is dead, I’m all in.”

Pt 42

[phenomenal1500]

The Blood In My Veins | Black Sails

Chapter 57: We Conquer What's Ours

For Chapter 56: Running Out Of Time click here.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was going to be a hard chapter in history, but we would succeed.

I was certain of it.

We all were.

The only thing we needed was the perfect timing and more manpower to help us.

~~~

There wasn't much time left anymore.

We had abandoned our hidden camp and finally took the big risk that had been meant to fail a few weeks back.

Although, this time nobody had any hesitation or any bad thoughts about the plan.

Not me, not Charles, not Flint.

Perhaps because we had more manpower, perhaps because of Silver's sudden appearance, but either way, it was now or never.

Pulling myself over the edge of the building's roof, I could finally keep track of everything that happened in Nassau and to see it like this, civilised, made me long for the old chaotic one to be honest.

Men.... sober men, talking to each other with neat hand gestures and words while securing the streets with their fancy clothes.

Women.... all in dresses with their faces full of makeup, trying to follow the proper image.

It was awful to see how perfect these people wanted to be. These people had been pirates of heart and now look at what civilisation had done to them. It made a furious feeling bottle up in me and I thought that sooner or later I would burst open like a volcano if I didn't close my eyes for a moment. I withdrew a bit and settled on the rooftop to keep track of every movement that could possibly lead to a trap.

However, until now it was calm.

I surveyed the busy streets becoming less crowded when the redcoats positioned themselves before the gallows to watch pirates being hung for fun and I shook my head, trying to make the bad thoughts vanish. It reminded me of the time Charles stood there. Looking to my left, I could spot Flint with Silver and Charles stepping foot onto the dusty paths in the streets. I held my breath to calm my nerves as I followed them with my eyes and noticed that the assholes spotted them too. Both sides didn't say a word and clenched their jaws while they silently stared at each other.... well, that was until one man from our opponents spoke up to us pirates.

"Company, fall into two ranks!" The English men stepped into two rows with a lot of space between the two groups and kept their guns high, them pointing at the blue sky. On the other side, Silver stepped off of his horse and made her walk away from the fight to prevent the lovely animal from dying in the battlefield.

"MAKE READY!!! PRESENT!!" The men followed and aimed at the pirates ahead of them....

That's when it happened.

One of us whistled and immediately two times our first group joined us, making us outnumber the pathetic redcoats.

"READY!!" Flint shouted sternly and the rest aimed at the assholes. "FIRE!!!"

"FIRE!!" Both sides screamed and the carnage could begin. blood splattered on the dusty streets and men yelled from the tops of their lungs in agony as they were hit. It wasn't long before we suddenly were with a lot less men than before and I whistled to give the sign that my crew was allowed to join. They positioned themselves among me and grabbed their muskets from their back, placing it next to them to aim them correctly. They fired them quickly afterwards without hesitation, same as I did. The rest of my crew located themselves among Flint to fight in combat up close. They were more skilled with their swords and fists than a gun.

It seemed that the English side also had the idea to reinforce themselves with sharp shooters, but that idea failed when Billy suddenly united with us.

Everybody fighting for their lives and me safely shooting from above with some others, I could notice a red haired man, his face full of scars, slicing the throat of Captain Berringer and then the screaming immediately started to become less.

We won?

Most of our men stayed in place, not believing what happened.... exactly how I felt too.... but some decided to join the revolt that was held somewhere else in Nassau.

When I figured it was safe enough for me, I climbed down to check everyone was okay.

"Charles, is everybody doing okay?" The blue eyed man nodded at me before stepping closer.

"Thank you for not interfering with the combat up close." He spoke in a hushed tone and I straightened my back, stretching a bit because I had laid down on that roof the whole damn battle.

"You're welcome." I smiled at the taller man and he shook his head when I playfully stared into his eyes.

"Charles! Naida!" I could hear Flint ask for us from behind me and I surveyed him from over my shoulder. "It succeeded. Nassau is fully in revolt."

~~~

"Nassau works best.... when it's men know what crews they belong to and what captain they answer to. Without structure, disorder is only to be expected. Now, you will begin with men that you know and trust. And from there, you will begin to reorganize your crews as quickly as possible." Flint stated as Charles and I ate the most disgusting soup of all time, thinking about the men they were planning to recruit. The men who had betrayed us to put their names on a piece of paper and almost killed us all. Those men Flint wanted to join our crews.

"Crews? With no ships?" One of the unfamiliar Captains said to Flint with a questioning tone in his voice.

"Well, we've all hunted small.... piraguas or less. It'll have to start there until things are settled. But it is the only way there will be any semblance of order in the meantime."

"There aren't gonna be many men out there eager to take orders anytime soon." With sudden annoyance I stood up and didn't even bother to put my food down while I walked to the Captains to give Flint some backup and support.

"You were chosen because he thought you were worthy to be the first Captain's counsel of a restored Nassau. Does he need to reconsider that choice?" I spit the words like they were poison on my lips and the men immediately backed down after staring at Silver.

"You heard them."

[babyspiderling]

The Moonwalker and the Time-Traveler Prologue

California, 2020

 “Ms. L/N, I suggest you wake up for my class if you want to pass this course.” I blink up at my professor, it seems that I fell asleep during history class again. “I’m sorry Professor Berkley, I was up all last night with my roommate tinkering all night.” At that he softens, a grandfatherly look in his eye. “Oh Y/N, I understand, but if you truly want to be a history major, you have to stay awake! I will not simply give you a free pass while trying to adjust, just please, try to stay awake in my class.” Standing, I nod. “Yes sir. I’ll do my best.” After this, I am dismissed and head back to my dorm room to hopefully catch a nap. 

Kicking the door shut, I move to collapse onto my bed, but am blocked by whatever my engineering major roommate has built in the dorm for his latest project. “Seriously dude? Don’t you have a lab for this kind of stuff?” I kick off my shoes and do my best to move around it, finally, truly collapsing onto my bed. I fall asleep quickly, hopefully revisiting the dream I had during class. 

Lord knows how much later, I wake up to my roommate continuing to tinker on his project. Grumbling under my pillow, “Danny, don’t you have a lab for this shit? Why do you have to do it here, I’m sleeping in classes because of this!” He sheepishly lifts his head up to respond. “Uh, well, I uh… It’satimemachine.” Snapping my head up, I question “It’s a what?” Once again he looks shy and guilty. “It’s a, uh, Time Machine. Or at least that’s what I’m wanting it to be. I’m still working on it.” Well, I’m definitely awake now. “So, like, what’s the problem?” Finally putting down his tools, Danny turns to me, “It should work. I ran the simulations and used the one that worked. It’s just… not connecting I guess.” Glancing at the clock, it’s getting late. “Look Danny, I’m going to clean up some of my stuff. Go get some food. I know you haven’t eaten yet.” With a defeated sigh, Danny agrees and leaves the room. I slip into a pair of shorts and an old David Bowie tour shirt I had found at a thrift store. Picking up things here and there, folding abandoned pieces of laundry, I hum and bop around the room, dancing along to “Working Day and Night”, practicing turns and isolations to the beat. Taking a deep breath I prep and spin as fast and as long as I can, but my foot slips out from under me. I tumble to the floor, tripping over some cord. Oh well, it’s probably Danny's “mood lighting”, I plug it in and decide to check out the “Time Machine”. “Ground Control to Major Tom! Prepare for lift-off!” I press random buttons, dicking around and typing 1984, then some other buttons. “Huh, sucks it really doesn’t work. It’d be cool if you really could time travel.” Once again I trip over Danny’s junk on the floor of the project and slam into one last button I had yet to press. On the way down I hit my head, and the world went black as a whirring sound filled my ears. 

Waking up, I find myself in a room about the size of mine, decorated much like my side of the dorm, with a funky retro feeling to it. “Danny, this isn’t funny, I get it, I’m gullible for believing the machine was real. Now how the Hell did you change all this so quick… and get rid of the machine?” I continue searching the room for Danny, and realise that the sun had already risen hours ago. I may have been out for longer than I thought, and come crashing into a body. Awesome! Now I can really teach that boy a lesson for pulling that. “Hey, what are you doing in my dorm? Nice shirt by the way, I was at the Anaheim show a couple months ago. That’s where you got the shirt, right?” I blink at the guy my age, still processing the amount of denim and hair products he has decided to use for the day. “What? Oh, uh, my shirt. Wait, did you say you saw him in Anaheim a couple months ago? What year are you from?” He knits his brows together. “1984. Are you ok? Did you get a bad hit or something? Do I need to call someone for you?” I space myself from him, the stimulation of this whole situation too much. “No, no I’m ok. What’s today’s date?” His eyes are still filled with concern as he replies with January 26th 1984, and that I’m still at University of Redlands, just 36 years before I attend. “Wait, January 26th, why does that sound so familiar? I hear Beat It blare down the hall and I can practically see the light bulb above my head. “Do you know how to get to the Shrine Auditorium?” 

We zip down the highway on Tyler’s motorcycle, making a trip down to L.A. He had me explain my whole ordeal to him before he just drove me to a random concert venue. It took a bit to convince him, but the second I pulled my smartphone out he was on board. He pulls off to a strip mall and helps me dismount. “Wait, why are we at a mall? I need to get to that venue before security secures it.” He just rolls his eyes. “If you want to get in and stay in without too much attention, you need to look a little bit different. Time to fit in.” He drags me into store after store, and I finally piece together a “Bad” inspired outfit. A black crop top slips off one shoulder, leather pants pull tight around my legs and hips, a blood red leather jacket drapes my shoulders, and matching leather boots clutch my feet. “Tyler, this is too much. I can’t even pay you back.” He rolls his eyes and pays for the clothes, letting me keep my own hoops and rings. “Look, just meeting a time traveler is cool, dressing one is even better. When you get back home and you still want to pay me back, we’ll figure it out. Let’s get you to the moonwalker himself.” 

As we pull into the parking lot for the venue, there isn’t another soul in sight. “Hey, here’s my address, if you ever want to mail me, or just let me know that you’re doing ok.” He hands me a slip of paper, and I hug him tightly. “Thank you Tyler, I am forever in your debt. If you’re anywhere near the university in 2020, let me know.” With that, he rides back home into the sunset, and I sneak into the venue before security shows up. 

It’s a good thing I like the song Billie Jean, because I have heard it about 72 times in the last hour. During sound check alone I almost lost my mind, with just the baseline intro playing for 30 minutes. As I hear the cue from the director that it is time to actually film the commercial. I hear “Take One!” in the distance and I ditch my jacket behind a stack of crates, my phone hidden in the pocket. I find the side entrance of the stage as take 3 is anounced. I crouch down in a runners position at take 5, launching myself at take 6. Michael nears the pyrotechnic and I slam my body into his as it goes off, now missing him by inches. There are screams of terror and shock as we fly through the air, now spun so that I land on my back, Michael on top of me. His brothers quickly help him up and off of me as I am seized by security, doing my best to put as little weight on my now injured ankle as possible. I raise my hands in surrender, trying to think my way out of this. “Look! Look, I can explain all of this, including how I knew that this take wasn’t going to go well. Let me explain and I will never try to contact any of you again!” Everyone around me exchanges glances, deciding whether to trust me or not. Tito steps forward, his eyes full of scrutiny. “Alright girl, explain.” I sigh and grimace in pain. “I can’t do it out here. Too many people. And my evidence of my claims are in my jacket backstage.” He glances back at Michael, nodding in response to his younger brother. I am escorted backstage, am allowed to sit down to relieve my ankle, and I start my story. “I’m from the future, 36 years in the future to be a bit more specific. I’m not crazy.” Michael crouches down in front of me, “If you’re really a time traveler I would love to talk about the future with you!” He’s nudged and given a look from his older brothers, and his smile is dimmed a bit. “But if you’re from the future, wouldn’t you know songs I haven’t released yet?” I nod my head, but I get hit with the issue of Thriller already being released and the “Bad” sessions not yet started for at least another 6 months, if not more. I flip through the collection of Michael songs I know by heart, trying to find one he’s recorded but not yet released. “Oh! I know about “Love never felt so good”! The one you recorded with Paul Anka! I can sing it for you!” I start at the chorus, my brain too frazzled to remember it’s entirety. Everyone else who knows about the song exchanges looks, one brother even shouting questions of how I knew it. “It’s on my phone, and I’m from the future. All your music’s been released. Well, almost all of it. There’s still tracks from your upcoming session that I have yet to find. Here, I can show you.” Lifting myself from my seat, I reach to retrieve my jacket from behind the crates. Everyone watches me with baited breath, wanting to see what the time traveler will pull out next. I pull out my phone and search for the Xscape album. I press play on the original track and Michael's voice rings out from the speaker. I switch it up to “Working Day and Night”, what I was listening to before I got here. 

“Look, I can play you anything you’ve already recorded. I just can’t play you anything you haven’t done yet. Those are the rules.” Michael escorts me back to his dressing room to ask me questions about the future since I am no longer seen as crazy. “Are there flying cars ? What about people living in space? Are there aliens?” I giggle at his excitement. “Well, we do have people living in space, it isn’t commercialized yet, so you and I couldn’t go. We don’t have flying cars, but we do have self driving ones. And there are no known aliens yet. Music is accessible though. If I had any service in 1984, I could play you any song any time from anyone. I could listen to “Wanna be Startin Somethin’” for 3 days straight if I wanted to. All I’d have to do is type it in and press play.” His eyes sparkle in awe of the future. He opens his mouth to ask more questions, but Jermaine and another man enters the room before he can get a word out, “Come on Mike, we need to finish the commercial. This is an EMT we had on site, he’s here to fix her ankle.” As Michael leaves his seat, I grab his hand. “Please, don’t let them turn the pyrotechnics back on. Please.” He nods and pats my hand before leaving the room. The EMT removes my new boots and my ankle swells before my eyes, no longer constrained in the tight leather. We make small talk as he works until the commercial is done recording. 

[365days365movies]

February 5, 2021: The Notebook (2004)(Part 1)

...Do I have to?

...The year was 2004. I was 13, my Mom was still into romance movies, and we had a Hollywood Video nearby. God, I miss Hollywood Video, you have NO idea. Anyway, I obviously didn’t watch this movie (or I wouldn’t be watching it now), but I do remember kissing in the rain...or was that just the DVD cover? Other than that, I got nothin’. Still, I like both Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling in other works, so I guess we’ll see.

I also can’t start this without acknowledging the fact that this is based upon a Nicholas Sparks book, and...I’m not into that. Sparks sucks, man. Sappy, overemotional, and constantly predictable folderol.

OK, Nicholas Sparks, let’s get this over with. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start with scenic shots of a boat rowing through a marsh, being visited by a flock of snow geese. As they fly off, an elderly woman (Gena Rowlands) looks out of a window over it. The woman is in an old-folks home, and is visited by Duke (James Garner), another resident. He’s here to read from a book, despite it not being a “good day,” according to the woman’s attendant.

The story in the book begins on June 6, 1940, at a carnival in South Carolina. There, Noah Calhoun (Ryan Gosling) sees Allie Hamilton (Rachel McAdams), and it’s infatuation at first sight. He’s a lumber yard worker, and she’s a rich heiress. He’s also EXTREMELY forward, and she’s EXTREMELY not interested. He approaches her for a dance (at a...carnival), and she says no, having literally never seen this guy before. He responds to this rejection by...butting into her date with another dude of a Ferris Wheel? 

And when she once again rejects his offer for a date...he, uh...he threatens to kill himself off of the Ferris Wheel?

Um. Yeah, no. That’s a new level of manipulation. She pants him on the Ferris Wheel and humiliates him, but JESUS CHRIST, this dude is a lot. That’s compounded the next day, when he continues to pursue her, and she continues to be EXTREMELY not interested! DUDE. GET A GODDAMN CLUE HERE, she is NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR SHIT.

Is Noah the first simp? Because he’s really starting to seem like it. Anyway, Noah and his friend Fin (Kevin Connolly) basically set her up to go on a double date with Noah, and he continues to be overly forward. Maybe this is supposed to be romantic, but it definitely doesn’t feel like it to me.

We find out that Allie is a quite well-educated young woman, whose schedule is basically completely controlled by her parents, who want her to go to college as well. Noah questions why her life is so restrictive, nothing that she should be free, which she insists she is. He then lies down in the middle of the road, watching the street...lights…

Holy shit, he’s a manic pixie dream boy. HOLY SHIT HE’S A MANIC PIXIE DREAM SIMP. He does all these quirky things, and breaks the girl in the restrictive lifestyle out of said lifestyle. Even if his dumbass actions nearly get him and Allie killed. See, she lies down in the street with him, and they nearly get run over by a car. And this second near-death experience is apparently SO romantic, that Allie’s won over, and they...just dance in the middle of the street. Because Ryan Gosling has no idea where to dance, apparently.

Billie Holiday sings “I’ll Be Seeing You” in the background (which, yes, I love), and we cut back to Duke reading to the elderly woman, who correctly guesses that they fell in love. And yeah, they go head-over-heels, apparently. Which is symbolized by, just, the most graphic of PDAs over, lord. 

Allie meets Noah’s father, Frank (Sam Shepard), a seemingly nice man and poetry fan (he’s a Tennyson man apparently). He asks her if she wants breakfast-for-dinner, and he’s my favorite character so far.

However, as if to set up the conflict to come, we’re reminded that this is a summer romance, and that they come from two different classes and worlds. Because of course they do, but whatever, moving on. That is when the following scene takes place.

...Look, I’m a bird guy by trade, and even I think that was weird.

We get more glimpses of their romance, including them dancing at a gathering with...a bunch of black peopNOPE. HOLD YOUR TONGUE, 365, WAIT FOR THE REVIEW TO TALK ABOUT THAT SHIT. At the end of this montage, we meet Allie’s father, the uppity and rich John Hamilton (David Thornton), and his GLORIOUS mustache (mustache). 

He invites Noah to Sunday brunch, which is being attended by...black servaHOOOOOOLD. NOT NOW 365 NOT NOW. We also meet Allie’s controlling mother, Anne Hamilton (Joan Allen). When Noah tells them how much money he makes, they immediately look down on him and his poor, poor ways. Anne reveals that Allie is headed to Sarah Lawrence, an all-girl’s school in New York. Which is, uh...NOT close.

Anne very much disapproves of her relationship with Noah, seeing him as a low-born of little consequence. Not that it matters, because the two head to a DEFINITELY HAUNTED house in the woods one night, which overlooks the marshlands. The bats from the Scooby-Doo intro fly by as the two walk in to, again, AN ABSOLUTELY HAUNTED HOUSE. This is the 1772 Windsor Plantation, home to...the Swamp Fox? Huh. Didn’t expect a crossover with the Mel Gibson movie The Patriot, but OK then.

The two talk about their house in the future, and somewhere in the house, a painting’s eyes move mysteriously. Allie plays a tune on the piano, which 1) sounds AMAZINGLY creepy, and 2) I’m pretty sure is the opening song, which is a neat touch. Guess that’s the theme for the movie, or possibly Allie’s leitmotif.

Anyway, it seems that the ghostly wails of Old Man Marion have gotten them both all hot and bothered, and they prepare to make love, right there in the old haunted house. The two undress while social distancing, then approach, significantly raising their risks of contracting COVID-19. Allie is CLEARLY very nervous, and as they attempt to begin the dirty deed, Allie can’t stop rambling about the current situation. Which is clearly putting Noah off the mood, but the two still clearly care about each other. It’s weirdly sweet, considering the fact that there’re, like, 50 ghosts watching, and God knows how many of those are slaaaaaaaAAAANYWAY

Fin suddenly bursts in, as it would appear that Allie’s parents have every policeman in town looking for her. Her parents are clearly upset, and her mother demands that Allie stops seeing Noah, whom she literally describes as “trash.” Jesus. And they aren’t exactly quiet about it, as Noah hears the entire conversation. He understandably leaves, and is also clearly disheartened by the whole situation. 

When Allie catches up to him, he says he has to think about this whole thing, including the fact that she’s going to Sarah Lawrence, and he’s staying behind. And I’m not gonna lie, he’s actually being realistic about this whole thing, and she’s acting FAR less rational. She actually breaks up with him right then and there, and as she’s literally physically assaulting him, I realize that SHE is actually the psychologically unstable one, HOLY SHIT. Emotionally compromised or not, Allie goes BONKERS here.

The next day, her folks decide that they’re leaving, that very day. Allie doesn’t want to leave without making amends with Noah, and she’s regretting her actions the previous night. She goes to Fin, and tells him to tell Noah that she loves him, and that she’s sorry. Noah shows up a little too late, and goes to return the comments, but Allie’s already gone.

Noah somehow gets her address, and writes her 365 letters, one letter every day. He never gets one in response, so he gives up and moves with Fin to Atlanta. Allie’s mom is seen getting the mail, so we know EXACTLY what happened to those letters. Meanwhile, it’s now 1941, and it’s time for World War II for the USA! Fin and Noah fight with Patton’s troops, and Fin doesn’t make it.

Allie, meanwhile, is in college, and works as a Nurse’s Aide for war veterans. She sees all of them as Noah,,,which is weird because she hasn’t gotten any of his letters, so she wouldn’t know that he went to war, but whatever. One of these injured men is Lon Hammond, Jr. (James Marsden). And...aw...AWWWWWWW. Did I just type James Marsden? GODDAMN IT HE’S GONNA GET CUCKED

James Marsden seems to have only one role in movies, and that’s to be overshadowed by another dude, even though in many instances, he’s a totally fine guy. The X-Men films, Superman Returns, Enchanted, the Westworld series in a way, TELL ME I AM GODDAMN WRONG. Dude’s always in movies where he plays the love interest to a girl, and that girl is pursued by another guy, and he ALWAYS LOSES TO THAT GUY. You could argue that Cyclops in the X-Men escaped that fate, but need I remind that first, Jean died, and then she came back AND KILLED HIM. STOP SCREWING OVER JASON MARSDEN’S LOVE LIFE, MOVIES!!!!

Seems like we’re once again headed down that path, though, as the very injured Lon asks Allie out on a date while in recovery, then takes her out once he’s healed. And, since he’s about as forward as Noah was, but less crazy when asking her out, she falls in love with him quickly. And it’s Duke that makes that assessment, not me. And, OF COURSE, he’s a rich Southern boy, meaning that her parents are going to approve.

At a dance club in the city with...black performDEAR GOD IT’S GETTING HARD TO HOLD ON BUT I GOTTA DO IT MOVING ON

He proposes to her, with her parents’ full permission (of course, because he’s rich and southern, gross), and she gladly accepts. He jumps on stage and announces to the entire club that they’re getting married. However, she’s still missing Noah subconsciously.

Speaking of, Noah comes home from war, presumably in 1945, and finds that his father sold him the house in order to buy the Windsor Plantation. Around the same time, Noah finds out that Allie’s moved on, and is with Lon. So, what does he do? The only logical thing: he restores the entire plantation by himself in order to win Allie back FUCKING REALLY?

Dude, you rebuilt an entire house on your own, your father died, and you could EASILY get rich off of selling the house and continuing to restore other derelict properties in the area! Upwards mobility, my man! You don’t even need to stay in town anymore! Hell, THAT’S a better plan to win both Allie’s AND her parents’ approval! STOP SIMPIN’, AND IF YOU’RE GONNA SIMP, DO IT RIGHT!!!

He’s also sleeping with a war widow, Martha Shaw (Jamie Brown), and STILL thinks only of Allie, and her sweet, sweeeeeeet bathwater, probably. Speaking of, Allie’s trying on a wedding dress, when she sees a photo of Noah in the paper in front of the plantation, which certainly shocks her. Confused, she goes to see Lon at his job as a stockbroker, and laments to him her lost romantic whimsy, brought up by seeing Ryan Gosling (AKA a natural response). She tells him that she’s going to Seabrook to “clear her head.” Lon asks if he should be worried. She says no. SHE LIIIIIIIIIIES.

Halfway mark, and this is a good place to cut! See you in Part 2!