#They’re tired but they keep thinking about things

[frogs00]

Hello:) can I request Regina or Janis x reader angst fic?

Reader avoids their partner because they’re struggling with stress from schoolwork or home stuff etc and uses restriction to cope. But partner finds out and confront reader so reader hesitantly admits it to their partner and they try to help

Tears

Summary: The request but worse

Warnings: Child/Domestic abuse, reader's home life sucks, Regina and Reader have daddy issues, depressing thought, alcohol abuse. Reader's discretion is advised. (Let me know if I missed anything)

Pairing: Regina George x reader

"Call you on the phone, you just tell me not to go. Baby, I don't want to be alone anymore."

"What the hell is wrong with you? " Your father screamed in your ear, right in your ear, waving the piece of paper in your face, "A 'C+'? On a math test? You're pathetic, if you don't get your grades up you'll fucking regret it.”

He shoved the paper back into your arms, and you held it to your chest with shaking hands, worried about what he might mean. It wouldn’t be the first time he had threatened you. Tears dripped onto the paper and you squinted your eyes shut, trying to blink your vision into focus.

You looked up after a moment and his hand was raised, and the next thing you knew the back of his hand connected with your face.

—

Your weekend was filled with studying. You always struggled with focus and motivation, but he threatened you. Threatened to take away the only thing keeping you here. Eyes never leaving the textbook, writing notes till your hand cramped, you ground your teeth. You were drained, so drained.

Bags had formed under your eyes, and you'd hardly eaten. You dreaded Monday. You didn’t want to face anyone, and why would you? Why would they want to face you back?

It was an awakening of the rudest sort, realizing that in the end, the only person that you have is yourself. You’ve been hearing this phrase all of my life, and sure you had Regina and you had your friends. But that all just had to be temporary? Because why would Regina George want a fuck up like you?

What was the permanent? The facts.

The fact that you weren’t worthy. The statistics didn’t lie, and your last test said you were nothing but average. You tried so hard on that test, and yet you still scored average. And did you hate it? Yes, with every fiber in your being. Who wouldn’t hate the feeling? The way your father treated you and how your mother did nothing to stop it. You couldn’t blame her, he scared you, and hurt you to the point you felt unsafe in your room.

But you had to push through if you wanted to accomplish your goals, your dreams, that aching need to escape the house you were raised in.

Snap goes the pencil in your hand, you hadn’t even realized how tightly you had been holding it. You let go of it with a shaky hand, and the splintered piece of wood and graphite fell on the desk. Tears stained your cheek and you let your face fall into your hand.

But, oh god, was It getting to a point where you had to ask yourself if the dream had become a nightmare.

—

Monday had arrived, you were tired, so fucking tired. Still, you had to try and make that less obvious. How did you do that? Avoid. You had practically mastered the art of ducking and dodging people around you, and it’s not like you felt they’d miss you.

Or maybe you had just gaslighted yourself into thinking that because it scared you to be loved and cared for. You couldn’t handle that… it was too much. It was all too much.

You walked the hall with your eyes downcast, backpack slung rather uncomfortably on your shoulder. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t want your girlfriend, lying if you said your head wasn’t pounding, and lying if anyone bothered to ask if you were okay. Sucks to suck I guess.

You had been lost in thought as you turned the corner, bumping into someone. Thankfully, or maybe so so thankfully, it was Cady, “Sorry- Oh, it’s you! Hey, y/n, I’ve hardly heard from you all day,” she laughed then proceeded to eye you skeptically, “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” You responded, putting on your best fake smile. It seemed to fool her, at least a little, because she asked if you were sure, when you nodded she then bid you goodbye and skipped away. She was always so happy, it almost made you jealous.

So I guess I’m a liar now. You thought as you darted into your class. You sat down in your seat and fought the urge to nod off, it was almost comical the fact that you already knew everything this particular teacher was talking about, at least the studying paid off, even if you were facing major burnout.

Class dragged on— Honestly, everything did; From how you pulled yourself out of your chair— to how you dragged yourself through the halls. Life was a drag.

Before you knew it, the day passed in a blur, and you were on your walk home.

—

The next day wasn’t that much different from the last. A foggy haze of numbness and meaningless conversations.

Well, mostly meaningless. During the passing period, your last one of the day, you were switching out your book from your locker when your girlfriend approached you.

“Y/n…” Regina's voice was a whisper, your throat clenched. She sounded worried. You hated that she sounded worried, because if Regina George was worried about you, then that meant you couldn’t wallow in that self-pity you made your home.

“Yeah?” You asked after clearing your throat, you didn’t force a smile though. She’d tell it was fake.

“I’m worried about you, you’re quiet. Did I like…do something? Or some shit.” She asked, her tone growing a bit irritated as she reached the last part, but that was just how she was. You knew it still came from a place of worry, in fact, you wouldn’t be surprised if that irritation was aimed towards herself. Just because you knew that didn’t mean it felt like it.

“No, Regina, you didn’t. I’m fine, just tired.” You shook your head, avoiding her gaze as you shut your locker. Lies, lies, and more lies. Well, you were tired, but that wasn’t just it. You and her both knew that.

“Baby, come on. Tell me what’s wrong,” Regina coaxed, her tone increasing as she spoke, making her sound angry. She was anxious, though, you could tell. Neither of you was great with emotions.

“Stop. I said I’m fine, leave it alone,” You snapped, turning your back on her, “You’re so pushy, god.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not a fan of watching the ones closest to me drift away!” She snapped right back, just like you knew she would. The perfect excuse to walk away… or retort her.

“I’m not your dad, Regina. I have a couple of bad days doesn’t mean I’m going to up and leave, okay? So stop acting like this is the end of the world.” You seethed, grinding your teeth. You glanced at her just in time to see her flinch, a wave of nausea and guilt washed over you.

“Wow.” Regina scoffed, collecting herself, “That was so unnecessary. I was just worried, and you…” She shook her head, you should see her tense, the ways she drew in a breath. She was trying.

You turned around to fully meet her gaze, and you could feel your eyes watering, “I’m sorry, I am,” You whispered, her face softened a bit, “I…I’m just stressed, I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have,” Regina agreed, “It’s fine, I get it, or whatever.” You both stood there for a while, just staring at one another.

“I’m sorry.” You repeated.

“I know.” More silence followed, til she said, “Do you need a hug?” you smiled a bit, the first time in a while. You nodded softly and she wrapped her arms around you. You breathed in deeply, her vanilla and coconut shampoo soothed your mind if only for a moment. Maybe you’d find the strength to talk to her, but not now, you just let yourself be held and pushed through.

You both pulled away when the warning bell rang, and you left it at that.

—

You were home, or you were at your house. This place didn’t feel like home, not at all, not ever.

You were unpleasantly surprised to find your father sitting on the porch, beer in hand and lead tilted back. He was drunk, you could tell just from the sight of him, and it made your stomach churn. He could be so violent when drunk. You swallowed your fear and clutched the strap of your backpack, slowly approaching.

A silent caution always lingered when you interacted with him, always. That was unchanging even as he stopped you.

“Why are you home so late?” He slurred, glowering at you then pushing himself off the wooden chair he spent most of his day.

“I had to walk, Dad, the bus doesn’t run that way on Mondays,” You explained calmly, and he nodded. Your gaze flickered around and you noted that your little sister's shoes weren’t on the shoe rack, “Where is Ashley?”

His expression turned sour, “She’s at some friend's house, on a school night. A load of bullshit! Me and your mom got into it because of her, because of you dumb ass kids,” he growled, “Why do you care, anyways, huh?” He took a step towards you, and the acrid smell of both alcohol and cigarettes hit your nose, you grimaced.

“She’s my sister, of course, I care-” You started but cut off as you watched his irritation grow. You could see it in his body language, hands curling into fists.

“God, you kids are so fucking useless! You should be studying, you hear me? The least a mistake like you could do.” he grabbed your shirt and tugged you towards him, and your heart pounded.

His voice was heavily slurred and his eyes were wide and wild, breath hot on your face. You couldn’t take it, you couldn’t do this another day, and pushed him off of you then sprinted the other way.

He trampled after you to the edge of the yard, but he didn’t give chase, too intoxicated and not caring enough.

You were so tired of running, what exactly were you running to? You’re tired, tired of all this escaping. It reminds you of that part in all the horror movies, the ones where the characters are running for their lives. Because ‘It’s all so beautiful’ or ‘lf is worth living’, and shit. Well, maybe it was to them. But, god, was it a whole lot of hell for you right now.

Two blocks down, you stopped, panting. You sat down on the curb and placed your head in your hands. You pulled out your phone, lucky it wasn’t dead.

You called Regina. I mean who else would you call?

After two rings she answered, “Regina?”

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

“Not really,” you admitted, feeling those tears you’ve been holding back slip from the corners of your eyes, “Can you pick me up? My dad…” you trailed off, voice shaking.

“Your dad? Yeah, I’ve heard enough. I’m on my way,” you heard rustling over the phone, a jingle of keys, then her voice asking, “Where are you?”

“I’ll drop a pin,” you looked over your head, grey clouds were rolling in, and you just hoped it didn’t start raining before she got here, “thank you.”

“Of course.” she softly said into the phone, then hung up.

You sat there by yourself, a wind chilling you to the bones. You didn’t like the wind, never had. It flushed your face and made your hair a mess, but you liked the smell it brought in, the damp smell of leaves and coming rainfall, it was all so refreshing in a way you couldn’t place. You wish you could appreciate it more, but that was hard with tears rolling down your cheek still, adding to the icy feeling.

You wiped the tears away with the sleeve of your sweater, staring at the pavement. You hardly registered Regina’s mom's car pulling up, but you did register the footsteps approaching, lifting your head.

“Baby, oh god, are you okay?” She gasped out the question, looking you over and pulling you to your feet. You felt something wet hit your head and you looked up, not answering her question.

It was raining.

“Baby?” She repeated a concerned expression on her face.

“Yes, sorry. I’m okay. He didn’t hit me…right now at least.” You and she pulled you into a hug and then towards the car, she must not have brought the Jeep because she actually checked the weather.

You both got into the car quickly. You closed your eyes, she didn’t ask any more questions. She knew better than to ask right away, it was better to let you settle in. You leaned against the cold window of the car, your breath foging the glass, watching the downpour and the water streaking down the glass.

You liked the rain, you did. You liked the way it filled the world with white noise, it was soothing. You liked to run around in it with your arm spread out and head pointed at the sky. You enjoyed the things that came with the rain too. You like gray and wet and rhythmically noisy, you liked hiding under cozy blankets.

You were so lost in your thoughts, that when you felt a warm hand brush yours, you flinched. You turned your head, looking at Regina who was staring at you curiously. You intertwine your and the blonde's fingers together wordlessly.

“You’re cold, feel okay?” She asked and you nodded, you didn’t want to talk. You turned to stare at the red light that shined through the gloom.

You glanced back at her, she was still staring so you asked, “What?”

“Nothing, you always just look so thoughtful, I guess.” She shrugged, then stepped on the gas.

Sooner than later you two arrived at her house, you both were quiet when you two got back, Regina went straight to the kitchen and you sat down on the couch inhaling and exhaling slowly. Minutes late she returned with two mugs of hot chocolate. You gave her a tired, grateful smile. She smiled back.

You both sipped at your drinks quietly, it wasn’t awkward necessarily but you could tell she was itching to ask questions, so you turned to her.

“I’m sorry, by the way. For this, I know I’m a mess. My dad is a huge ass and it’s physically and mentally killing me,” You trailed off, swallowing thickly, “Still, I feel like It’s all my fault, I don’t know why I do this. I’m not used to this, to being loved. It’s hard to accept; it scares me so badly. It terrifies me and I run away.” It was easier that way, but you didn’t say that.

Regina sighed, setting down her mug then grabbing and clutching your hand, “It’s okay, I know. Dads can be pretty shitty. Yours is, mine is. But it’s not your fault. It isn’t, y/n,” she shook her head, “Avoiding others isn’t helping, though. I get it, trust me, I’m the queen of avoiding my problems. Hell! I avoided the truth I was gay for years, but I’m trying. We both are.”

You started crying again, it was hard to hold it in, “Thank you…” you breathed, “I don’t deserve you-”

Regina smiled a bit, “Don’t say that, it’s bullshit,” she rolled her eyes, then softened, “You have people in your corner, okay? You don’t have to do everything alone. We can both work on that.” She pulled you into a hug, you cried softly into her. Damn, did it feel good to get out, to be held.

You both remained like that for a while till she asked you if you wanted to shower, you agreed pretty quickly considering it was still pouring. You took a shower together.

You got comfortable at Regina’s side, rubbing circles in her lower back, “Your back okay? I know it can get achy when it rains.” you whispered, gazing into her blue eyes.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Regina shrugged, then yawned, “I kind of like the rain, actually. Not getting wet though, that’s disgusting.” she mused but didn’t elaborate further.

You let out a soft laugh at the sour face she made, Regina hated getting wet, unlike you, “Me too.” You smiled. You both lay in each other's arms, listening to the rain and wishing it would stay longer. The sound seemed to drown out all of your problems, or maybe just laying beside her made it all fade away.

A/N: Kinda proud of this one even though it took me forever

[kurithedweeb]

I just learned why Shad hates Irene in canon and knowing what I do now about everyone’s favorite the Matron, I can say with my whole heart,

What the hell, Irene

[kiwikiwiandkiwi]

.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

if i could be a real cunt for a moment about instagram interior designers: i do not understand “dopamine decor”. putting things you like in your house without regard for the public’s opinion??? that’s what you’re supposed to do anyway??? it’s your house not the public’s house???

[batwynn]

Hello! I just got an unexpected bill and my bank is about to be overdraft as soon as it goes through. 🥲 I’m opening up a limited time emergancy commissions with sales prices.

Colored sketches $10 - full color $20 - full color 2 people/background $30

Just send me a message!

I take payments though PayPal (batwynn@gmail.com) , Venmo (batwynn), or Kofi (ko-fi.com/batwynn)

but I can also do Stripe/through the tumblr tip jar in a pinch. 👍

Please signal boost this if you can, I’m kind of desperate to avoid the overdraft fee at least. Thank you! 🥲

*Note: patreons, I will still be working on your requests I’ll just be bouncing back and forth a bit so no worries!

[gayboyrocklee]

Love posting my Spotify receipts for the month bc you can always tell when I’ve had smth big to write for one of my classes bc the one Jash song (Dream (Outro from Calamity)) will make the receipt. I did not end up a Jashinator but I do like having a song I can rely on to make me write things.

[voltrons]

uhhhhhhh

[moxymaxing]

(Long ghostkicks ramble incoming)

I think in the beginning of season 1 william saw Dakota as this breakable person, someone who would always be there and was a true hero. He’s always admired Dakota from the start. And some of this hasn’t changed; william still thinks Dakotas the strongest of them all and is the greatest hero. However I think a major shifting point for Williams view on Dakota was episode 13 of season 1 where Dakota nearly died because of the sword through the torso. William audibly is choked up during this scene and is the most obviously worried one out of all of them (s1 ep19 parallels). I think it’s at this point that William sees Dakota as more “human”. Although he’s still one of the toughest and strongest people he knows, Dakota still has weaknesses and can die just like the rest of them. And even more so than that was the new growing fear of losing Dakota. After the timeskip William makes it clear how much he fears losing Dakota again. To quote William from s2 ep1, “The only reason I ever even thought about getting stronger, or whatever that means, was because I met [Dakota]”. “…’cause I don’t wanna lose you for, well, I mean, ever again. We’re what we’ve got.” It all makes me wonder how William coped after Dakota disappeared for ten months with only a note left behind. And it makes me wonder what Williams full thoughts were when he said that him and Dakota eventually falling out “bound to happen”. How much has he thought about it? Was he just uselessly clinging to the friendship they still had with the impending doom caused by their differing morals hanging above them? How the fuck is episode 34 going to go??? More “Feelys” to quote the editor???? Would Dakota pick his best friend over his morals????? What if I literally ate drywall

Honestly I want bitter fighting. I want Dakota to be so frustrated and confused and angry and disappointed and I hope their fight draws blood (metaphorically or physically) and I hope I throw up and die and voluntarily become the joker. I also hope Dakota looks in Williams eye and can’t see how the person who fought so hard for Dakota to live and stay by his side is the same one who would lie and kill someone. Or maybe Dakota does look at William and can’t help but still see the awkward teenager who would hide behind his back like a shield, then the person who grew into wanting to protect him in return, the person who has put his moral faith into him and only him, the person who fucking sucks ass at driving, the person who would do anything for him, the person he trusts so so much, William Wisp.

Really all roads lead to tragedy. Maybe william knew this, and maybe that’s what he meant by it being “bound to happen”. Dakota chooses to leave William and/or turn him into the authorities? Classic tragedy. They’d be leaving behind everything that they made each other, which not only includes the heart transfer, but the way they grew because they inspired one another. William and Dakota have this reoccurring thing where they say they’re proud of each other, originating all the way back from s1. and although it’s kinda silly, even Dave and sweet summer child William from the rolleds are constantly saying how they wish to be like the other one day. It might not mean anything about og ghostkicks, but I believe since it’s still alternations of themselves that it’s worth mentioning. Dakota and William are practically parts of each other. they’re almost the definition of “paired package do not separate” with how they always end up together no matter what universe or alteration of themselves there are. (See ssc William and Dave, William Wight and Kota Kill [they have a whole thing going on it’s not healthy but I support it])

Now if Dakota chooses to stay with William? Still a tragedy in that Dakota would be sacrificing his morals and the standards that he holds himself to. And William would have to live with what he became, forcing his own friend to temporarily give up a part of his ideals from what he did, compromising far more for him than what either of them usually do. Because In Dakota’s hero way of seeing things, William should be locked up or at least put onto trial. He literally killed someone (even if it was accidental), unknowingly attempted murder on three more people, assisted in unauthorized and unconsensual surgery, and mentally tormented someone (David and X) twice. Now I’m no expert in law, but I know all of this breaks a LOT of them. As of right now, Dakota doesn’t know all of what William has done. but I doubt William would be able or willing to lie to him more in ep 34. I’m just really excited for July 1st

I had more in my head but I forgor 💀 anyways very big thanks if you got to the end of this ramble it’s probably a unintelligible and messy. please forgive me I am not a writer but I had to get these thoughts out. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk goodnight 💤

[theshadowrealmitself]

I love those scenes where the character has clearly beat the crap out of someone but they’re framing it in a different way

Current thoughts are a substitute Human teacher, doing their best to stay calm and dignified around the parents but getting sick of the xenophobic ones who keep encouraging their kids to be dicks

A, with some suspicious spots of green on them and a bloody nose: Me and your father simply had a constructive conversation on how hate is very much an emotion, one that can lead to other destructive things like anger and violence, I gave him a firsthand look at some evidence supporting my stance and he had to agree with my point, so of course, as your father, he wouldn’t want to encourage hatred against Humans in you

A: So I really think it best if you apologize to the other child, run along now, your father will be with you momentarily after he concludes his…meeting with our school nurse

[novelconcepts]

It’s so weird gearing up in preparation for some amount of time where I just…won’t be able to get excited about watching things. Being unreasonably attached to movies and TV, engaging with those fandoms all day long, has been such an integral part of my life since I was a kid, and to watch my love of movies slowly diminish over the past few years—especially now that I don’t go to theaters due to COVID—was depressing. Now I find myself nearly incapable of even watching most new television shows, much less getting excited enough to blog and fic about them. I don’t really know who I am without that affection for media, but like. It’s really so messy out there that I cannot for my life get my brain to engage. And that is wild to think about, especially if it sticks for a while like I fear.

[yuribalisms]

I need to uproot my entire life and start from scratch or I’m gonna go insane

[not-a-biscuit]

Y’know what, fuck it!! I’m wearing my glass again. I don’t care if people think they’re fake because it’s such a low prescription. I’m sick and tired of getting headaches

[crybaby-bkg]

I hate when the littlest things trigger me soooo badly like I know it’s bc I need a social media break but it’s so fucking frustrating to have to come to this realization bc someone posted something that I don’t agree with and it made me have heart palpitations and panic and get chest pains. so dramatic I hate it and I also hate when taking a break really works and I exercise and watch calming movies and rest well bc WHY DOES IT REALLY WORK

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[my-rights-are-grian-rights]

OC ask game

🎭: 1,8,13

⤴️: 1,8,13

(Pic of dom with chicken nuggets because I like him)

HIIIIII :DD

picking the combinations I actually have to Think About hmm

also I’m putting this whole thing under a readmore because it got So long and rambly

1. Excluding murder, what is the worst thing your OC has ever done?

🎭: this guy has several variants but I’d say the worst non-murder thing it’s done that’s consistent among most of them (or at least what it believes is the worst thing it has done, which is similar but perhaps not the same) is (accidentally) possess the dead body of a close friend. the worst thing it’s done could also be aiding and abetting the leader of a mind control cult. but that doesn’t always happen.

⤴️: well like his job does include assigning and overseeing the punishment (torture) of anyone who does something considered “bad,” no matter the context. also he has people he made deals with so that they kill people for him in exchange for the continuation of their own (or someone else’s, in one special case) life. listen his source material is silly and i think his canon character might be the villain in a season I haven’t read yet

8. Would your OC consider themself evil?

🎭: no, not really! it considers itself selfish, yes, and perhaps too careless about the the lives of others, but it’s not evil.

(it’s got a bleeding heart inside all that porcelain.)

⤴️: if you called him evil he’d be like yeah I’m the devil. lol

13. Who does your OC hate the most?

TUMBLR DELETED MY STUFF. RAH. EVERYTHING AFTER THIS IS REWRITTEN.

anyways

⤴️: questions that made me read 30 more episodes of the source material! I need to diverge him from canon but then ive got a guy who fills a similar niche in a different way already. i do have two hands though I guess. (not like that) anyways idk enough of the lore (source material or. his own lore) to answer that question I think oops

🎭: a big part of what makes this guy so silly and self indulgent for me is the fact that it like. always acts kinda flippant about things no matter the setting. which tbh most of my faves are like that but you know. but anyways!! in general (bc it gets put in different medias in my brain) i think the kinda person it would hate the most is the kind that genuinely doesn’t value like. human life. or like the lives of the ppl around them? idk maybe that’s a bit silly to say but like. in the first thing I ever put it in it got really super attached to a group of ppl (at least partially bc of someone else but shhh) and so like. it had a wholeeee thing about that in my head and so. I think if it met someone who a. had ppl who were close to them and cared about them and b. utterly disregarded or even actively harmed those people then it would. not be happy

it’s silly because it’s the guy who i get to destroy with no consequences! because of the mechanics of how it works! except no it’s gotta have actual stuff to it too. and it’s gotta use the things I’ve decided are true for it and take them to logical conclusions. because that’s how it works

too much commentary in those by the end. oh well!! you wouldn’t talk to me still if you minded me rambling. and rambling

[thegreatestheaver]

uhghghfh I need to cut off someone in my life so bad but I just don’t know how to do it