#This is why I take my meds

[danielcalmdown]

harry trying to stay sober after martinaise

[utter-queer-nightmare]

Tonight I have;

Run out of my antidepressant/sleeping agent

Had two panic attacks in quick succession

Considered a self-harm relapse (despite not having anything to cut with)

Tried to check why my prescription was delayed

Fallen down a rabbit hole and ended up in my own medical records

Remembered that I'm an organ donor

Remembered that I'm a blood donor

Begun to book an appointment to give blood, despite never doing it before and not really liking needles

Reminded myself that there are no good decisions after 11pm

Logged of the donor website

And immediately gone back on it

[octocurse]

IM CRHING

[obsob]

muse :3

✹prints shop!✹

[despazito]

my idea for feminist birth control

[dismas-n-dismay]

Suki - Chimera Falin amv

I present before you: The Chimera Falin Edit.

[fantaorange]

practicing lining drawings without hating it and also sort of practicing expressions

[deoidesign]

I was gonna do a pinup but he kept posing cute idk what happened

[pixlokita]

Y’all can have some Mickey Mouse angst as a little treat

[spacedace]

So. I wasn't able to sleep AT ALL last night, to the point that I gave up and went out to the living room so I wouldn't wake up my partner with all my tossing and turning.

And, this has happened before. I figured it was the fun one two combo of insomnia and chronic pain, since my nerves were way worse than usual last night. But no.

NO.

I literally just now realized as i was looking at my pill caddy to take my ADHD meds this exhausting morning that, uh oh. They're not there! You know what is there??

MY CHRONIC PAIN MEDS

I SPENT THE WHOLE NIGHT IN PAIN AND UNABLE TO SLEEP BECAUSE I WAS A DOOFUS AND TOOK THE WRONG MEDS LAST NIGHT

[moeblob]

You know, when I kept getting asked "so you didn't ever have severe pains before now?" in the hospital and I kept replying "I have a high pain tolerance" I meant it. However, there is only so much pain my tiny 4'9" body can hold... (aka I am sweating and in agony bc I'm getting told to use LESS severe pain meds so I don't rely on them too much and it is AWFUL)

[withacapitalp]

Out of This World

Read it on AO3 instead

Tw: Depression

There was a black hole inside of Steve. 

He would lie down flat on his back in the living room. The stone floor beneath him would pull his mind down from wherever it liked to drift to, and he would be able to focus enough to  stare at the ceiling, put his hands on his stomach, and breathe deep into the sensation. 

When things got really bad, it was like he could physically feel it. A dark mass that spread out from his core and swallowed everything around it. If he flipped over to lie on his stomach and press his cheek to the cold marble, then it would sprout out of his back like demon wings, menacing and grim. 

He had never told anyone about it, but he was sure everyone knew. That was the thing about black holes, they dragged everything towards them. He was a magnetic person, people were drawn to him, but when they got close and saw that there was nothing inside, they ran. The empty expanse living in Steve was terrifying. 

He was the only one who couldn’t escape himself. 

No matter what he did, inevitably he would be reminded of what was inside of him. He could try to be happy, but he had to remember it wouldn’t last. 

Steve could mess around with the kids, dance along to the radio with Robin, try and love the people who chose to stay with everything he had, but the black hole would always return. It would suck up whatever joy he had tried to grow, making it disappear in the blink of an eye, lost to whatever cosmos existed beyond the gnawing hunger in Steve’s stomach. 

It was like it was starving, like he was starving, but not for food. There was nothing Steve could give to make it go away, nothing that would satiate whatever was stuck inside of him. There was just the all encompassing need to have more, to get something that would kill the loneliness that lived there. 

And, when the people around him realized that they really couldn’t make that black hole go away, they left. They ran to keep themselves from getting pulled in, and Steve couldn’t blame them. He had spent most of his life trying to run from himself. 

Even now, lying in bed with Eddie late on Sunday morning, he could feel the first nudges of gravity shifting, the quiet stirrings of empty space needing to be acknowledged. 

There was a black hole living inside of Steve, and nothing he could do to change that.  

“God I swear it’s like you’re the sun,” Eddie sleepily whispered against his chest, unknowingly cutting straight through the icy black tendrils starting to creep up Steve’s spine. 

“The sun?” Steve said, feeling something finally touch the cold dark thing living in his stomach. 

“You just keep us alive and warm, don’t you Stevie?” Eddie mumbled, still half asleep, “Pull everyone into your orbit and make sure none of us go flying off into space alone,” 

Eddie was already starting to snore by the time Steve jogged himself out of his stunned silence enough to kiss the top of his boyfriend’s head and whisper a reverent declaration of love. 

Sometimes Steve felt like there was a black hole living inside of him.

And sometimes he was reminded not everyone saw it that way. 

[sadtimbitz]

“oh, beavith! my pills-“

[mamawasatesttube]

really fucked up that you can sleep for 10 hours and still be exhausted. who allowed this

[scenearcee]

Lantern Rite got me thinking about Neuvifuri again

Furina and Neuvillette hung out for a little bit when Neuvi asked for directions, and offered to take her bags as well as Chlorinde and Navia’s bags (btw they are so gay. Dude they’re on a date. Navia x Chlorinde Lantern Rite Date). Aside from that they didn’t actually interact a lot, but Furina still talked a lot about him, and asked the Traveller and Paimon to go talk to him, pass on a message for her.

Something in my little sad brain is like. What if Neuvi wishes Furina would just come have a conversation with him? It starts as a logistical thought, he thinks it logistically doesn’t make much sense to always have the Traveller passing on what she wants to say to him, and then he starts thinking more emotionally. Did I do something to scare her away? Does she even want to see me anymore? He misses her really badly, and he wonders if she doesn’t feel the same. Then rain begins to fall in Fontaine because this man is not allowed to be happy I guess

[causenessus]

feeling like tumblr is a job BUT IN A GOOD WAY like i sign on after my actual job onto my work (tumblr haikyuu smau writer hobby) computer (my home computer on it's last dying breath) to answer emails (reblog all of my moot's wonderful works) and write up reports (my own chapters LMAO)