#This post is brought to you by my autism

[ecoterrorist-katara]

Hey bestie any zutara fic recs. I feel like I’ve read all the classics.

Hello anon! Oh boy have you come to the right place because I have read several million words of these two dorks falling in love and though I plan to read several million more, I am always down to screech about talented fanfic writers!!! Here are most of my faves, some of which you’ve probably read but my enthusiasm simply needs an outlet. No WIPs to minimize heartbreak.

In the spirit of not recommending too many classics, I’m not including anything from the first page of the Katara/Zuko tag on AO3 sorted by kudos, with one exception. Same rule does not apply to FF.net because nobody visits that site anymore, yet we mustn’t forget our roots!!! 

TL;DR of my Zutara Fic Recs: 

Half Asleep for a Miyazaki-esque adventure romance 

Southern Lights for a sweeping epic where A Song of Ice and Fire meets Middlemarch

Refraction for a swoon-worthy post-war political romance ft. Katara learning how to politick in a patriarchal world 

Stormbenders for a fun undercover romance that is a ZK classic for a very good reason 

Another Word for Alchemy and The Slow Path for hilarious yet emotionally compelling adventures with found family themes 

The Undying Fire for world-building, more Gaang shenanigans, and super satisfying slow canon divergence 

Katara Alone for our fave girl’s post-war Bildungsroman/travelogue/heroic tour

Simple Misunderstanding for a hilarious rendition of Ponytail Zuko capturing Katara and trying to not be a creep

Clothe Me in Seasons, Dress Me in Snow for a mostly canon-compliant (so, v angsty) story about the different ways that love can evolve 

And some one-shots and modern AUs I feel like deserve some more love 

Summaries, reviews, and general fangirling under the cut because holy shit this post is long lmao 

Long fics / series: 

Half Asleep, by crushinator | Rating: T | Word Count: 82,335

Summary: Five years after the Hundred-Year War, Fire Lord Zuko is hit with an assassin's dart, and falls into a coma from which he cannot wake. A week passes, and his prognosis is grim. But Katara could swear she hears him in her dreams.

My thoughts: this fic, in many ways, is novel quality. The pacing? Immaculate. The action scenes? Exciting and interesting yet super easy to visualize. The characterization? On point. Katara is peak Miyazaki heroine in this, setting out on a quest to the Spirit World to save her boy (who’s not really her boy) from whichever Eldritch horror has him in its clutches. I love the little glimpses we have of the mutual pining between Katara and Zuko, and there are no words to describe how much I love the resolution of Katara and Aang’s relationship in this story. And oh boy, is the climax of the fic super romantic. This is just a really well written, emotionally compelling, tight fic. Deserves to be a fandom classic. 

Southern Lights, by colourwhirled | Rating: M | Word Count: 769,274

Summary: A world where the Avatar has disappeared from memory. Where Sozin’s Conquest was successful. Where the unsteady order of the empire is threatened as members of the royal family are picked off one by one and lines are slowly drawn in the sand One last chance for peace forces an unlikely alliance between a homesick waterbender, a carefree Air Nomad, a runaway Earth Kingdom heiress, and the fire lord's inscrutable son. Together they must learn to shed old enmities and become the balance they seek to restore to the world.

OR:

The avatar has four heads.

My thoughts: Is it a Bildungsroman? Is it a war story? Is it a politics story? Is it a love story? Is it a friendship story? Is it a story about colonial violence and well-meaning complicity and finding justice in a world where it simply doesn’t seem to exist? Yes to all of the above, because at 700k+ words YOU CAN HAVE IT ALL. You know how Virginia Woolf once said that Middlemarch is one of the few novels written for grownups? Well, Southern Lights feels adult, not because of violence or sex or general grimness (looking at you, HBO), but because it’s fundamentally about having the courage to make choices, live with the consequences, and make more choices, and repeat that over and over again. If Katara is a Miyazaki heroine in Half Asleep, she is full on Daenarys (pre-character assassination) in Southern Lights, a heroine who gets put through her paces yet retains her unwavering resilience to find her place in the world. Katara can be pretty frustrating in this and I know a lot of the commenters on this fic wanted to smack her up the head halfway through, but I support women’s rights and women’s wrongs and her decisions make sense to me even when I also want to smack her for them, and isn’t that a symptom of good writing? I count my lucky stars that I joined the ATLA fandom after this fic is finished (which was only last year!) because I got to binge it in a few days and I have not been the same person since. Deserves classic status. 

Refraction, by caroe3725 | Rating: E | Word Count: 215,249

Summary: Making choices after the war was supposed to be the easy part. Her future decided and neatly packaged based on what everyone else wanted for her, what she should want, too. But Katara’s destiny had a funny way of being exactly what she wanted to run from. (As if anyone needed another Zutara post-finale slow burn after 15 years.)

My thoughts: YES WE DEFINITELY NEEDED ANOTHER POST-WAR ZK SLOWBURN OF SUCH IMMACULATE QUALITY. Both Katara and Zuko’s internal monologues are excellent in this, but I particularly love Zuko’s. The writer is so good at capturing his resolve, his earnestness, and his awkwardness. This is a very restrained fic — no great histrionics — but also incredibly romantic. The first kiss scene made me want to both sigh and screech. I’m also just a huge sucker for “Katara learns politics” which this fic has in spades, with a bonus of very thoughtful gender dynamics. Anyway, if you liked AJ Lenoire’s The Summit or andromeda13’s such selfish prayers, you’d probably like Refraction. Zuko and Katara are very much dumb teens in the beginning portions of this fic, which I personally like because it makes me nostalgic. Oh, and Katara is low key chaotic good in this, which is super in-character and hilarious.

Stormbenders, by Fandomme | Rating: T | Word Count: 171,000+ 

Summary: S3 AU from FBM. Deep in the Fire Nation jungle, the Gaang meets a group of rogue water ninja who send Zuko and Katara on a mission to retrieve Ozai's secret battle plans.

My thoughts: I’m aware that if you asked the average ZK shipper ten years ago what the ship classics are, the answers are probably Stormbenders, His Majesty Prefers Blue, and the Sparrowkeet series. The other classics are good (classics for a reason!), but Stormbenders remains my favourite. It’s funny. It’s exciting. It’s WELL PACED. The ZK relationship grows so organically, which is a huge feat considering this fic was started before we even got The Southern Raiders. The events are a little more adult than the show, but the tone remains very ATLA. There’s a lovely little animatic of the beginning of the scene on YouTube to show you exactly what I mean about the tone and the humour. I am always weak for a well-structured adventure romance, and Stormbenders stands the test of time because it’s just such a well-written fic. 

The Undying Fire, by Boogum | Rating: T | Word Count: 534,665

Summary: "He has the eyes, Princess Ursa." They were half-forgotten words, a whisper of fears never explained. Zuko had dismissed it all as nothing to worry about—until he somehow healed the Avatar. Fire healers weren't meant to exist, except he did. He'd saved the kid's life. Naturally, he wanted answers. Too bad finding them wasn't so simple...

My thoughts: This fic is mostly Gen, and Zutara shows up in the latter half of the series. Despite being a ZK shipper I like plenty of Gen fics too, and The Undying Fire gives me the best of both worlds. I love the world building, the humour, and the slow ramp up of the Gaang friendships. I absolutely love how the canon divergence is so subtle at first and gradually unfurls into something super different, yet retains much of its ATLA charm. Boogum’s written some other bangers too, and I have to give honorable mention to Zuko’s Tiny Dilemma (where a spirit transforms ponytail Zuko into his six-year-old self, and Uncle into a teapot, and somehow it becomes an emotionally compelling 100k word saga) and Following Blue (season 2 canon divergent Bluetara with a bigger focus on romance). 

Katara Alone & associated fics by cablesscutie | Rating: T | Word Count: 86,890

Summary: The war is over, and with it goes the only life she has ever known. In this era of love and peace, the world is becoming new, and Katara is unsure of her place in it. That's okay though. Katara has rebuilt her life from scratch before, and she will do it again.

My thoughts: I love post-war “Katara sets out to find herself and also finds Zuko” fics. Katara Alone is a fabulous coming-of-age story with some good old fashioned letter flirting during Katara’s solo travels. The sequel, Lady of the Tides, has some very thoughtful depictions of Katara’s place within the post-war Fire Nation, and the accompanying story from Zuko’s POV, The Fire Lord at Home, hits all my buttons. Like…Zuko is Fire Lord Good Boy! He passes legislation! There is political optimism! Swoon. 

Another Word for Alchemy, by FanPanda 13 | Rating: T | Word Count: 108,000+ 

Summary: Five years have passed since the Avatar defeated Fire Lord Ozai, and the members of the Gaang have all gone in their own direction. But when Aang invites them all to a Peace Summit at the North Pole and tells them of his new project, for which he will need their support, the group comes together again for adventure, fun and romance. AU. Zutara. COMPLETE.

My thoughts: Now this is a fic that thoroughly crept up on me. The first 3/4 is good old fashioned fluffy, funny, fourth wall-breaking Gaang shenanigans with plenty of Zutara. But the last quarter? Oh boy does it come right at you and slam you in the solar plexus with the platonic love and found family feels and the complexities of those feelings when you’re a teenager. The impact of Aang’s loss of the Air Nomads is treated very thoughtfully here, way more so than in the show. 

The Slow Path, by TazmainianDevil | Rating: T | Word Count: 125,723 

Summary: Eight years after the fall of Ozai, Aang returns to the friends he left behind.

My thoughts: This is actually a Taang story with a great ZK subplot. But what I love about it is that the whole Gaang (including Suki ALWAYS INCLUDING SUKI) is superbly characterized. The ZK banter is top notch. I could actually hear their voices in my head in some of the scenes. Their relationship is playful but has plenty of emotional heft. And the plot is exciting and well-developed. My favourite thing, though, is how the author treats Toph’s POV: it’s very thoughtfully written, with consideration towards how she perceives the world.

Simple Misunderstanding, by ShamelessLiar | Rating: T | Word Count: 80,965 

Summary: Katara was captured by Zuko, but there was a lapse in communication. Takes place after The Fortuneteller. Fierce Katara, honorable Zuko, and meddlesome Iroh. Also, music night

My thoughts: Generally I don’t love fics where Katara gets captured, especially by Zuko (just a personal preference, not here to judge). But! I love this one, because…well, the circumstances of Katara’s capture by Ponytail Zuko are simply hilarious. Katara is suspicious and stubborn; Zuko has a one-track mind and doesn’t understand why Iroh is treating his prisoner so nicely; oh, and Aang gets into an amazing side quest with some spiritual animals. The only thing about this story is that it ends a little abruptly since the author was considering a sequel, but it still reads as a standalone fic. The author also wrote His Majesty Prefers Blue and Call Me Katto, two ZK classics, but Simple Misunderstanding is far and away my favourite work. 

Clothe Me in Seasons, Dress Me in Snow, by sadladybug | Rating: T | Word Count: 62,026

Summary: It is not the memorial she deserves, nor the one she would want. But it can't be helped. He owns no property in the other nations, and he needed to keep her close. Closer than she was in life, anyway. Zuko's reflections on a life lived and a life that could have been.

Review: sadladybug lives up to the username by creating a sadness so contagious that I have yet to recover from it, and I cope by recommending this fic to other Zutara shippers so that more may suffer like I did. (Stop the cycle? No.) Look — I think there’s something extremely beautiful and poetic about a love that changes in nature and form and expression, but not in intensity and devotion, and that’s what this fic is about. Loved it. Never reading it again. 

One shots: 

There’s a category of canon-compliant Zutara one-shots that are all extremely painful, and I cannot get enough of them: in the next life by we-were-angels, taking place right before Katara’s wedding to Aang; water can heal, water can break by crazyache, about why Katara didn’t attend Yakone’s trial. 

To combat the above, here’s a few funny, fluffy ones that make me cackle: i am older now by ama (who wrote the banger that is The Blackfish and the Dragon), an old!ZK fic that I read to counteract the emotional damage inflicted by psychedelic_aya’s we hold our hearts in silence; all good things start with tea by yodalorian, where Zuko’s hapless Disney sidekick-esque advisors try to get him a wife; And Half at One Another’s Throats by songofhopeandhonor (whose account is deleted), about Zuko’s harebrained proposals to Katara; The Dragon of the West’s Guide to Flirting by bluesunflower44, which is exactly what it says on the tin and the awkward disaster you’d expect. Waiting on a Steady Sun, by nire, is a long version of my favourite tropes: fake marriage + idiots to lovers ft. pining for your spouse. 

I generally don’t love modern AUs, but akaiiko’s talk is cheap (and i’ve got expensive taste), where Katara meets Zuko at a frat party, is a whole damn delight; my old aches become new again by jamesstruttingpotter is a wonderfully indulgent modern AU based on Our Beloved Summer. 

And finally, some season 3 character studies: don’t tell me how to feel by paintingcranes, ft Katara at the Western Air Temple being increasingly incensed at both Zuko trying to be helpful and how other people react to his helpfulness; the other side of mercy by crazyache, where Sokka calls Katara “high-strung and crazy” and that really makes Zuko think; The Silent Garden by romilley (whose WIP The Horizon is also fabulous), where Katara and Zuko avoid their feelings through a reluctant-allies-with-benefits arrangement (ft a way of depicting intimacy and sex that makes me think of Normal People); a deep delight of the blood by eruthros, where Zuko asks Katara to practice bloodbending on him out of pragmatism but also a little bit of guilt (it’s unrated, but that “Kink Without Sex” tag is there for a reason). 

Thank you for asking me for my recs, anon, because I needed an outlet to rave about fanfiction and my irl friends have heard enough. Feel free to ask me questions about specific fics that aren’t on this list: I always love talking to people about fic and I’m always looking for new ones to read!

[gothpossums]

inflicting this upon tumblr audience as well because I'm evil like that

🩸hoffstrahm as ethel cain songs/lyrics🩸

[coreaflame]

so ssorry to anyone i promised art to . my msm hyperfixation has unfortunately ended , which took a toll on my motivation to draw . i still really like the game , but it just does not make me as happy as it used to

above is an artistic representation of what ive been doing for the past month or so . resting . and i will continue to rest for a bit more .sorry

[seahydra]

Imagining your F/O getting into things you enjoy is awesome but how about the inverse... doing extensive research into something your F/O is interested in? Love and joy and enthusiasm etc all around

[diogenesprintco]

Dog roses, or the other large floral piece I've been working on lately, which I have to admit was also inspired by a passage in Maurice:

Not far from the lodge there was a nasty little climb, and the road, always in bad condition, was edged with dog roses that scratched the paint. Blossom after blossom crept past them, draggled by the ungenial year: some had cankered, others would never unfold: here and there beauty triumphed, but desperately, flickering in a world of gloom. Maurice looked into one after another, and though he did not care for flowers the failure irritated him. Scarcely anything was perfect. On one spray every flower was lopsided, the next swarmed with caterpillars, or bulged with galls. The indifference of nature! And her incompetence! He leant out of the window to see whether she couldn't bring it off once, and stared straight into the bright brown eyes of a young man.

Even though (unlike the primroses) this is a one-off reference, it always catches my attention because, as the saying goes, there's a LOT to unpack here. For a while I could only interpret this as a specific example of the decay of Penge (and of Maurice's relationship with Clive), and then Alec cutting through that to see him, which mirrors the scene of Maurice's arrival the day before. But it's odd to have a one-off reference at all in this book where Forster so often repeats phrases and images to give them significance or place them in a different context, ie: "bright brown eyes" - and actually, in the Abinger edition, there is a second reference in a deleted bit of dialogue where Alec says something like, "Remember the roses in the other rain?" again placing the focus on the roses when he really means, remember me in the other rain, chasing after your carriage and hiding in the shrubbery to catch another look at you? So nature did bring it off once, but in a way Maurice didn't expect, and which influenced him only subconsciously in the first reference.

[manbeaft]

you can like pacific rim...... but WATCH OUT!

[gailiag]

A Comprehensive List of Character Ages from Encyclopaedia Eorzea III

Got my copy today and figured I'd compile a list of every character that has an age given in Encyclopaedia Eorzea III! Contains Shadowbringers and Endwalker spoilers. Text version below the cut (warning: it is LONG).

Shadowbringers Characters

Major Characters

Vauthry – 29

Beq Lugg – ~250

Lyna – 33

Feo Ul – "newly blossomed by fae reckoning"

Kai-Shirr Olkoh – 17

Ran'jit – 88

Chai-Nuzz Mewlah – 40

Dulia-Chai Mewlah – 40

Tesleen Stoneplowe – 18

Halric of the Gold House of Aldmere – 9

Seto – at least 140

Runar – 30

Ryne – 17

Gaia – 17

Role Quest Characters

Granson Ketchthane – 28

Lue-Reeq Chalah – 18

Cerigg Morpurse – 25

Taynor Lakplowe – 10

Giott – 22

Cyella Valthane – ~10,000

Crystalline Mean Characters

Katliss Horhand – 39

Facet of Forging

Iola Waldhand – 18

Eismon Valhand – 31

Colana of the Seventh House of Oakbridge – 27

Sue-Rend Maihov – 29

Facet of Crafting

Thiuna – 24

Walden of the Final House of Elmsby – 43

Owell Freehand – 27

Facet of Nourishing

Bethric of the Second house of Pinehome – 36

Facet of Gathering

Qeshi-Rae Kaapoh – 30

Yalana of the Grey House of Ashgrave – 25

Mao-Ladd Moshca – 23

Facet of Fishing

Frithrik – 26

Mervyl Stonehand – 52

Hurielle Stonehand – 22

Lakeland Characters

Callea Skyekirk – 27

Nielden of the First House of Oakbridge – 48

Mauwyl Mudkirk – 23

Tolas Valkirk – 23

Dwarf Quests Characters

Ronitt – 15

Ozogg – 20

Kholusia Characters

Kai-Shirr Olkoh – 17

Tristol Horpurse – 39

Eueliss Hylplowe – 22

Sai-Lewq Jinal – 56

Theva Valfyst – 37

Irvithe Ketchand – 26

Grithil Ketchpurse – 26

Xamott – 50

Korutt – 19

Glagg – 72

Eulmore Characters

Ran'jit – 88

Chai-Nuzz Mewlah – 40

Dulia-Chai Mewlah – 40

The Jongleurs – 18

Mowen Freepurse – 41

The Canary – 17

Hathenbet Ketchkirk – 67

Thoarich Skyeplowe – 73

Anfrigg Morhand – 21

Bosta-Zia Panpah – 19

Amh Araeng Characters

Ghen Gen – 39

Tesleen Stoneplowe – 18

Halric of the Gold House of Aldmere – 9

Thaffe Morhand – 24

Jeryk Motplowe – 23

Jamial Nabaath – 64

Guthjon – 34

Horthur – 53

Kee-Satt Lye – 20

Rhal Ral – 27

Darmal Morfyst – 45

The Fae

Aenc Thon – "as old as the flick of a disappearing tail"

Seto – at least 140

Rak’tika Characters

Runar – 30

Almet – 87

Uimet – 85

Cymet – 83

Lanille – 140

Myalna – 38

Qitari Quest Characters

Valan – 19

Quinfort – 18

Ciuna and Phyna – 48

Qitarl Natl – 14

The Tempest Characters

Tolshs Aath – 63

Paushs Ooan – 18

Grenoldt Freethane – 51

Teushs Ooan – 33

Zumshs Aath – 68

The Empty Characters

Ryne – 17

Gaia – 17

Werlyt Characters

Gaius Baelsar – 56

Valens van Varro – 56

Severa Souther – 23

Valdeaulin Ganathain – 48

Alfonse aan Baelsar – 21

Allie aan Baelsar – 16

Rex aan Baelsar – 18

Ricon aan Baelsar – 17

Milisandia aan Baelsar – 20

Bozja Characters

Bajsaljen Ulgasch – 54

Marsak Apella – 42

Misija Votyasch – 29

Stanik Alubov – 15

Noah van Gabranth – 48

Menenius sas Lanatus – 55

Lyon rem Helsos – near 70

Sadr rem Albeleo – 37

Firmament Characters

Augebert Brasher – 36

Maelie Greystone – 11

Peyraquile Bomptond – 13

Marcelloix Mourelz – 34

Neillemard Hanette – 31

Endwalker Characters

Major Characters

Ahewann bin Alzadaal – 22

Montichaigne Mongrignois – 74

Ameliance Leveilleur – 42

Erenville – 25

Kokkol Dankkol – 43

Wilfsunn Tragbharsyn – 56

Bloewyda Uwilsyngwyn – 54

Matsya – 22

Jullus pyr Norbanus – 21

Role Quest Characters

Shirabaht bin Ardati – 31

Ea-Sura-Supin – 28

Charlet Reed – 19

Minato Urabito – 24

Kisei Urabito – 51

Sharlayan Characters

Montichaigne Mongrignois – 74

Ojika Tsunjika – 21

Dickson Denman – 38

Barnier Clarke – 54

Ameliance Leveilleur – 42

Kytte Kirk – 26

Nenelymo Totolymo – 72

Studium Characters

Rurusha Rusha – 74

Boric Azora – 40

Namono Tayamono – 29

Jude Rose – 19

Jeromere Marette – 20

Debroye – 21

Galveroche Larille – 55

Flaugustert Friont – 73

Hinageshi Wright – 29

Tankin Banjo – 35

T'laqa Tia – 31

Nele Newton – 81

Qih Aliapoh – 26

Labyrinthos Characters

Vtorak Vetasch – "indeterminate age and inconclusive gender"

Erenville – 25

Kokkol Dankkol – 43

Wilfsunn Tragbharsyn – 56

Bloewyda Uwilsyngwyn – 54

Verpaulaine Fouillel – 12

Thavnair Characters

Mehryde bihn Shinan – 40

Ahewann bin Alzadaal – 22

Mehryde bihn Shinan – 40

Matsya – 22

Qerasaf bin Shirashir – 24

Racashir bin Fahleel – 9

Yezahn bin Qulhudi – 27

Sula – 24

Arkasodara Quest Characters

Trna (Arkasodara Quests) – 21

Ogul Khatayin – 18

Kancana – 50

Garlemald Characters

Sicard Spence – 26

Licinia bas Corculum – 18

Jullus pyr Norbanus – 21

Jareck aan Natasch – 43

Vergilia van Corculum – 42

Nerva yae Galvus – 44

Rimelnaud de Thelomaire – 27

Appius eir Callaecus – 30

Galla oen Longus – 33

Volsus bas Malicus – 13

Vipsania dus Malicus – 44

Frontinus fae Malicus – 43

Job-Related Characters

Gunbreaker

Radovan Slobasch – 45

Sophie – 20

Cato nan Mammula – 52

Vitus quo Messalla – 52

Dancer

Ranaa Mihgo – 17

Nashmeira – 37

Reaper

Drusilla Varus – 52

Arnegis Elder – 42

Hermin Hart – 19

Sage

Lalah Jinjahl – 22

Mahaud Stone – 21

Ancel Stone – 26

Guildivain Sailmet – 38

Blue Mage

Latool Ja – 22

Whastrach Ahldwaensyn – 37

Ceadda of the Whalaqee – 14

Zirnberk Fyrgeissyn – 26

Seasonal Event Characters

Valentione’s Day

Lisette de Valentione – "nearing thirty"

Astrid de Valentione – 16

Little Ladies’ Day

Ulala Ula – 16

Narumi Kakeya – 21

Masha Mhakaracca – 19

Aldiytha Thorne – 22

Hatching–Tide

Jihli Aliapoh – 22

Pawlin Morning – 38

Make It Rain Campaign

Nanaphon Sasaphon – 23

Roland Redsteele – 48

Moonfire Faire

Haermaga Bleibornsyn – 39

Beaudefoin Dupaitre – 33

Hildelana Quick – 28

R'fhul Tia – 18

The Rising

Wandering Minstrel – "undisclosed age"

J'bhen Tia – 22

Nhagi'a Jakkkya – 16

All Saints’ Wake

Impresario – "gives his age as 'six hundred and sixty-six'"

Starlight

Amh Garanjy - 27

[flutterbyfairy]

btw sexuality labels do not have to be super specific with strict boundaries of what "qualifies" as being that sexuality. you do not have to base how you define your sexuality on the first description that comes up on google; history, culture, the nuances of personal experience, and what you feel connected to are just as important a part of how you choose to identify!

[gideonnavsenormousbiceps]

The "dragon obsessed kid" to queer late realized autistic adult pipeline has to be insane

[felidthing]

yknow. at this point ive spent roughly half of my life experiencing gender dysphoria and i can tell you it feels exactly the same when it comes to species. i'd argue ive been species dysphoric longer than ive been gender dysphoric. and i cope with it on this barest minimum level mostly because what i want just isnt possible- species-affirming medical care doesnt exist- and because of the stigma surrounding even the most surface-level identification with non-human animals.

and its not something im safe from in trans communities, the idea of nonhuman people are scapegoated by trans people and transphobes. "if we let kids identify as any gender then what if kids start identifying as animals?" vs the famous threat of "making a mockery" of trans people. i am trans people. im transgendered. i have transitioned. my experiences with gender and species are nearly identical. huge communities all over the world have made themselves known and worked to live their lives with the gender identity and presentation they feel is correct and comfortable. why is there a barrier when it comes to species?

"well you see, its weird to identify as nonhuman" okay, cool. its weird to identify outside your assigned sex and gender, too. its a mental illness to experience distress about your gender, and a lot of people still consider it a mental illness to be nonconforming at all, let alone seek medical intervention about it.

im not asking for everyone to flip their animal switches from no to yes. i just wish i could talk about this more freely without worrying about being alienated by my peers or institutionalized by the people with power over me

[thatmahblog]

Ok so when we talk about hypersensitivity and autism I feel like we don't mention this enough : temperature. I cannot handle cold at all, I will scream and cry and enter despair so fast if it's too cold for me. Make me too cold and I'm very likely to meltdown.

[soullessjack]

it’s like actually so phenomenal to me that jack is somehow the best worst written character ever. like yes your honor he’s a plot convenience device mirror foil but it’s not his fault. my client was simply doomed by the narrative

[hanzajesthanza]

truly though, i am comforted by the idea of regis being autistic because… consider. he’s been alive for hundreds of years and has been through so much turmoil and has had to commit to self-improvement and self-control and all of these ideals and principles. and in the same process of that, he had to examine himself—take a good look in the mirror, as the saying goes… though it may not be quite accurate in this case—why he faced these insurmountable issues in the first place which instigated and excerbated his vices in the first place. “treat the cause, not the symptoms.”

and the cause was that he didn’t like himself. he only drank to escape… from himself. so he could be a different self, one that others accepted, but one who very quickly became a terrible person—because that version of himself had none of his ever-so-dislikable and aggravating and unrelatable traits: his know-it-all-isms, his philosophizing, his overthinking. his lack of understanding the social cues he was surrounded by. everything that would “spoil the party.” the libation was the symptom of insecurity and disbelief that anyone could truly accept him for the way he is, unaltered, sober.

and even with all of this time, possibly the span of an entire human life, spent working on himself, spent trying to understand others—he learned two things.

firstly—after all this time—he cannot change himself. he has to live with, and possibly embrace, the parts of himself that long ago made him impossible to gain social approval. even if now, he is living a solitary and even somewhat isolated life.

(note: yes, he only spends three months out of the year nearby fen carn, and the rest of the year he lives in dilingen, in a city—while i don’t doubt that he was an important pillar of the community, with his altruistic tendencies, he also never mentions having any close friends in dillingen. he decided in one night to join geralt’s quest. he didn’t worry that anyone from dillingen would miss him…)

secondly—even after all this time spent trying to have a better relationship with and to fit in with society (and even though he’s become, if i may say with modesty, very good at it, exceptionally good at it), it’s still a very intentional factor of his life, something that takes a carefully prepared set of behavior and mental work. it’s still “mimicking.” again, the span of an entire human lifetime put into understanding people and society and he still doesn’t. there’s still much he does not understand, does not agree with, and even ridicules. he has integrated into the society, but he does not innately understand it. he only understands it through his uniquely analytical perspective, the perspective of an outsider trying to understand.

[felix-lupin]

I hate going to the dentist or the doctor's or whatever because every single time they're like

"And how often do you brush your teeth?"

And I'm really really bad at forming habits. Absolute garbage at it. It's really hard for me to start doing something and then maintain it as routine, and that's if I even REMEMBER to do it. IF I even remember, I still need to scrounge up the motivation to do it. I've never in my life been able to maintain a routine of brushing my teeth twice a fucking day, but there's been a few times where, with enough effort, I've been able to maintain a routine of once a day.

So I look at them, and I'm like, "I brush my teeth about once a day," and I'm proud of myself, a little, because I know it was really hard for me to get there, and once a day is better than nothing, right?

But they look at me, and every time they're like, "Well, you really should be brushing your teeth twice a day." And any amount of pride I might've had is gone, washed away and drowned out by shame, instead, because even my best isn't good enough. Even when I've managed to get something, they look at me and they're like "You should do more."

And they'll lecture me on it, tell me that once a day isn't enough. They'll tell me to at least try to brush my teeth twice a day, not once, and they'll present it like it's such a reasonable request. Like, this is the bare minimum, this isn't hard to do, it's easy, you should at least try to do it.

And because the shame is too much, and I don't want to look like I'm not trying, because I AM, I'm trying my best, and I don't want to say no because then it'll look like I'm just lazy, not willing to put in the effort. So I'll say okay, and I'll agree. And when I go home, I brush my teeth and maybe I'll brush my teeth twice a day for two or three days, and then I'll miss it. It's too emotionally/slash mentally draining to keep up the habit, or I didn't have the time, or some other reason, but I'll miss it.

And then, instead of being able to go back to brushing my teeth once a day, keeping that small, basic thing so that I have at least some upkeep on my teeth, I feel so much shame and dejection, I feel like such a useless failure, that I just.. Stop. I stop doing even that basic upkeep. I don't brush my teeth for fucking months, until it gets bad enough that they start to hurt and even then I'm like, why should I even try to get back into the habit? It's not worth it. It's not enough. It'll never be enough.

My best will never be enough for those people. I'll brush my teeth once a day, and they'll say, well, it should really be twice a day, as if I don't already know. I'll clean a small portion of my room, organize my desk or take out the trash or clean the closet, and they'll say, well, you should really clean the whole thing. I'll walk for twenty or thirty minutes while my legs hurt nearly the whole time, and then it gets bad enough I have to sit down, and they'll say, well, you really shouldn't sit here or you're wasting time or come on, it's not even that long, you should be able to walk for this long. or you're being dramatic, just believe in yourself!

I'm tired of it. I'm tired of my needs being dismissed, my best efforts being dismissed as not good enough when it's so hard for me to do that much. I hate it, and I hate how even though I know that I'm trying my goddamn best I can't fully erase the shame, not truly. It sits in the back of my brain like a parasite, eating away at my motivation to do things, to try my best. Consuming it until the shame just crushes and paralyzes me, and then I can't get myself to do anything like that at all, can't even try to put in the bare minimum, let alone my best. Because my best isn't good enough, will never be good enough, and it'll never get rid of the shame.

[princeyralsei]

"Autistic papyrus headcanon" this and "autistic papyrus theory" that. It's a fact. It's real. Autistic people can see the truth and nothing but the truth. Only the weak aren't fully convinced

[socialcarcrash]

i wanna talk about mcr's performance of sleep at mexico city in 2022 cause it means so much to me and ive GOTTA get this out of my brain before autism makes me explode !!

During this performance, i wanna start by talking about HOW important gerards use of vocal pedals are!! cause holy shit it changed my life and its opened up this whole realm of inspiration and ideas for me musically.

I write music a lot and im really trying to pursue it, but as a trans guy and a soprano its hard to use my voice in a way that feels right. cause like...i CAN sing but uts hard to use my voice in interesting ways when sometimes dysphoria makes it feel like my voice isnt MINE. I cant go on T for the foreseeable future cause of family reasons and financial ones...and i live in the UK so accessing gender affirming care is like splitting the atom sometimes, but i have stuff to say and ideas i want to use in my music, and im tired of waiting. trans people end up spending so much of their life waiting anyway, and i want to start doing something now.

I have ideas and i need to get them out cause sometimes i feel like they are eating me cause im so excited about doing something with my brain and my life ya know?

Thats where the vocal pedals come in, a way to manipulate my voice so uts still mine but ut sounds REALLY freaking cool!! you can express so much and di so many cool things with them, and dont get me wrong, people have been using them for YEARS, but live? you see it SO MUCH LESS and its SO POWERFUL.

so the pedals plus gerards performance style, which is emotional and raw but visibly you know its fun and interesting artistically to explore those emotions at this point in their career and i feel so inspired by it.

i want also mention the joan of arc of it all, cause of gerards connection to joan of arc it adds another layer to the performance as a whole on every level. and its SO special to me.

honestly might do a whole post about joan of arc cause i could talk about her and what she means in society and represents and her whole story and stuff for literally hours.

but in summary, holy fuck is this performance REALLY FREAKING COOL!!