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tammythompson-singslikea-muppet · 4 years

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Betrayal (Stan Uris x reader x Richie Tozier Reddie)

Soooo I wrote this a long time ago and put a lot of work into it but then didn’t end up being super happy about the ending and the fandom slowly dying so I never posted it. Revisiting the story and re-writing a few things I have decided to post it so ENJOY!! I couldn’t really come up with a better name if you have any suggestion I would gladly take them.

Warnings: swearing, some sexual references and mentions of sex

aged up 18/19

Bold = flashbacks

Part 2

You walked into the dinner on a slightly sunny morning in July. It had started to get warmer in Derry but since it was still early in the day the temp was barely out of the seventies. You sat down next to a familiar mop of perfect curls at the bar,

"I could kill a man for a coffee right about now."

"Is that so." The boy responded sipping his coffee from his mug. You both let out a laugh. The same waitress as always came over and immediately poured you a cup of coffee without even having to ask.

"Thanks, Josie." You picked up two packets of sugar and dumped them into your coffee along with a little bit of creamer. After taking a sip the boy looked over to you with a small smile,

"I guess I shall live another day".

"Lucky you."

A moan escaped your lips as you were pushed against the wall of the bathroom, basically swallowing each other's tounges. One hand was tangled in the beautiful mess of curls the other rests on his bicep which leads down to his hand at your hip, the other at the back of your neck. Heavy and passionate were two things someone from the outside might call it but you could only feel need. The door open and closed before a voice rang out,

"I guess you're taking the break up with Richie pretty well then?" Beverly continued over to a stall. You and Stan pulled away from each other, the Uris boy quickly making his way for the door. When he opened it he was met with an older lady and immediately apologized, squeezing his way past her. A blush very noticeable on his cheeks. She walks in and glances over to you "Wrong door" You shrugged. She shook her head knowing better and went into a stall. Beverly walked out and just laughed at you. Failing to conceal a laugh you brought a hand to your mouth. Beverly washed her hands and you both exited the bathroom and walked towards the counter. "Stan took care of it all" Josie smiled. You pulled out your wallet and handed her an extra tip anyway. She smiled and thanked you.

"Did you walk here?" You asked Beverly as you left the dinner.

"No Bill dropped me off." She motioned over to Bill sitting in his car, it seems Stan found it first and was leaning against the car talking to Bill.

"No Haystack today?"

"He's still sick," She scrunched up her nose in disgust."-But he's getting better." When you looked up at the car you could see someone sitting in the backseat. Suddenly it was like you were fighting with yourself to turn around every step that you took. Beverly looked over to you and mouthed sorry. You told them that you didn't want people taking sides, and you were glad that they didn't. But that doesn't mean it hurt any less to see someone you used to be so close with, and not even have it in you to say hello. Beverly grabbed something from the front seat before joining you by Stan, who was conversating with Bill and the boy in the back seat. You didn't even want to say his name let alone look at him so you just stared at the ground.

"Bye Bill, see ya, Eddie." You almost winced at his name. As you, Stan, and Beverly walked over to your car you could feel Stan about to apologize. He could barely get out the word 'I'm' before you pointed a finger up at him.

"I said no apologizing," he sighed and sat down in the passenger's seat," I said no picking sides, and I meant it you do not need to apologize for talking to one of your friends."

"But I feel b-,"

"I told you not to feel bad either." You looked over at him and showed him a smile. "Now be my DJ, we're going over to Mike's." Stan gladly turned on the radio as Bev in the back groaned,

"But his music taste sucks,(Y/N)!" you laughed and pulled out of the parking lot.

* * *

Mike welcomed the three of you with a smile and directed you towards the living room. Beverly walked up to Mike as you and Stan trailed behind. You could see her whispering into his ear. Being curious as to what was short-lived once Mike turned to you and Stanley.

"So what have you two been up to today besides playing tonsil hockey in public restrooms?"

"Subtle. very subtle." You glared between the pair on the couch. Stan looked around the room trying to avoid the question, and you just ignored it entirely. "How's your truck coming along?"

"Yeah did you get that part Bill said you needed?" Stan butted in. Not even looking at her you could feel Beverly rolling her eyes. Mike just laughed at your change of subject.

"Yeah, I just ordered it this morning. Hopefully, it will be the only part I have to order and I'll be driving you losers around in no time." The four of you spent most of the afternoon talking about a little party you guys are throwing for Ben over here at the farm. He had been gone the most June, out visiting family, and when he came back y'all did a welcome home movie night but he got really sick. So now it was your idea to just throw a whole dang party cuz why not, the kid deserves it. Although the only thing that really makes it a party is decorations. Seeing as it'll just be the eight of you as always goofing around.

"I think the final question is," Mike turned around to look at you. "Are you gonna be ok with Richie and Eddie here?"

You didn't want to answer this question. Everything seemed so different the last time you were all together. It was actually that same night, that Ben came home when you caught them. You haven't spoken to or even seen Richie since that night. Although you still weren't very keen on the idea of seeing them, you weren't even sure how it was all gonna go with your dramatic little ass, but you were gonna face it for Ben. And s' mores.

"I guess we'll see how it goes." Stan smiled at you, completely unconvinced that this wasn't going to turn into some sort of emotional disaster for you.

"Have you talked to him at all?" Mike asked. You looked down at your feet causing Mike to put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"It sucks, I know. But, next to Bev respectively, you're the toughest girl I've ever met, and Richie is gonna feel like complete and udder shit for at least a month, maybe two, but that doesn't mean that you have to. We're gonna have loads of fun and you're totally gonna forget what a shitty week you've been having." A grateful smile graced your features,

"Thanks, Mikey." Mike looked over to Stan who was talking with Beverly and leaned in closer to you. "So what's going on with you and Stan?" Mike has been very speculative over what has been going on with you and Stanley. The two of you were in vulnerable states, both going through difficult breakups. Mike didn't want to see his friends in any more hurt than they already were, which made him highly skeptical of your and Stan's, a bit, lusty escapades.

The question through you off a bit. The thing is you hadn't really thought of much about what you and Stan were doing. Neither of you treated it very seriously and were just trying to find someone to dull the pain. It wasn't a very healthy coping mechanism and both you knew that, but anyway threw caution to the wind. For once in his life, Stanley felt out of his head. He wasn't overthinking anything, because it just felt good. And at the moment that's all he really wanted to feel, same as you. Neither of you ever stopped to think that maybe it felt a little too good. So instead of hashing out all the pain and misery the both you just though it easier to get a little horny. You've never actually slept together, but you don't think the rest of the losers believe that. The other day you were at Mr. Keene's store with Bill picking up a few things and he proceeded to throw a pregnancy test at you and said

"Here I-I'll call Stan and tell him thu-thu-the news" You started at him shocked for a second then threw it back at him.

"Hardy har har, you want me to track down someone who's ACTUALLY pregnant then leave the test in your mother's bathroom? Hmm, I bet that would lead to an interesting conversation now wouldn't it Mr. Denbrough." You spatted out quickly and both erupted in laughter, then Bill motioned over to Greta sitting behind the prescription pick up counter. After that, you were turning heads with all the noise and loud laughter being made.

"Umm, I don't know. It's just a bit of tension release I guess. Something easy and simple between friends." The words came out of your mouth quickly wanting to move away from the subject. That seemed to be your new hobby, avoiding subjects. You could tell that Mike wasn't trying to pry. He was just worried about the whole thing. You were gonna reassure him that everything would be fine, but for one: You didn't know that and for two: The house phone started ringing. You nodded your head towards the phone and Mike went to take of it.

"This conversation isn't over."

"Uh-huh,"

Stan walked over to you. "What's the conversation about?" Stan questioned. You sighed

"Nothing. Just about us." At that moment Stan turned his head down towards your's then immediately stopped what he was doing. The next thing that was about to happen - that Stan stopped from happening - was something that told Stan that this whole thing was gonna come back to bite him in the ass. And that maybe Mike has a point being worried about you two.

See the thing is, Stan is not a very affectionate person to someone other than who he is in a relationship with. When you are just a friend occasional hugs and a hand on a shoulder are about as touchy-feaey as Stan would get, unless it's movie night then he'll end up resting his head on someone's shoulder. If another loser was standing right beside you sensing your unease and possibly slight confusion, that Stan was sensing, it would be a totally normal Ben thing to just put a hand on your four-arm rubbing gently. And it would be a totally normal thing for Bill to lean down and press a gentle friendly kiss on the top of your head, of course not without a sly remark from Richie. 'But that's over now.' Stan thought to himself. But a thing like that, an innocent little kiss on the top of the head to comfort a friend was not a very Stanley thing to do. Yet there he stood looking slightly down, not being much over a head taller than yourself, having to stop and think to himself about what the heck he was doing. Because that was exactly what he was about to do, press a kiss to the top of your head. 'It's just an innocent kiss! That didn't even happen! Don't you dare overthink this Stan!! Don't ruin yet another good thing with stupid fucking overthinking!!' While yelling at himself in his head his gaze had never left the top of yours. Suddenly his eyes were no longer looking at your head but rather into your eyes. You had leaned your head up to notice that Stan was staring at you. 'Shit! Shit! Shit!' There goes Stan again yelling in his head.

"Whatcha thinking about Mr. Boy Scout?" In what felt like years to him, Stan finally blinked, swallowed, then answered,

"Nothing." And with that and much to Stan's luck, Mike walked back into the room.

"Was just a telemarketer- anyway what are we talking about?"

"Absolutely nothing," Beverly smirked at you and Stan. The awkward silence didn't last long when Beverly spoke again.

"Uh, I have to drop off something at Richie's"

"Count me out." The eye roll and tone in Stan's voice hurt you more then you expected. Another totally unexpected feeling was that you suddenly felt bad for Richie. He and Stan had been friends for ages. It was this exact thing that you didn't want happening when you told everybody not to pick sides. And now you are standing right next Stan listening to the disdain in his voice when Bev mentioned Richie and it almost made you feel sick. 'Girl! Get your shit together! The last person you should feel bad for is Richie fucking Tozier! You lost a best friend because of him, its only fair he looses one too!' your mind screamed at you.’ But that still didn't get rid of that feeling in the pit of your stomach.

The rest of them have been doing pretty alright with it, according to Bill, Bev has been a little snippy to them, but apologizes. Bill says he's Switzerland and honestly you're thankful for that but it must suck for him the most because of it. He tells Bev that he tries hard not to be mad at them, but he also feels like in doing so it's an injustice to you, so he really just tries to split his time with you guys down the middle. Mike is the true neutral out of them, he really doesn't like the confrontation but has admitted to wanting to punch them both in the teeth at least once. Ben says he is really upset at them and has been telling you that he's only not talking to them that much because he's sick and he hasn't been talking to anyone that much that isn't Bev. But you also once overheard Bill tell Stan that he hasn't even spoken a word to Eddie, on account of the fact that he was the one who introduced you and Richie and that just really struck a chord with him. You brought it up to him once but he faked a coughing fit to avoid it then changed the subject. He and Stan are the only two who have made an effort to avoid or not talk to Richie or Eddie, but as much as you tell them you just want everybody to get along and you don't want anyone else getting hurt you can't exactly control people.

*time skip to party*

"Eduardo, àndale, let's go!" You yell to Eddie in the car as you and Richie walk up to Bill's door. You were so excited to see Ben and were always happy to hang out with all the losers. Eddie gets out of the car as Richie opens the door,

"Billiam, the threesome have arrived!!" You and Richie walk in hand-in-hand Eddie in short distance

"Quit calling us that, Rich! It's fucking gross!!" Eddie shouted from the doorway, closing the door behind him. You walk into the living room to find Ben. Like always he's sitting next to Beverly on the couch so you venture over there

"HANDSOME HANSCOM!!! WELCOME HOME!!" He blushes at your nickname and gives you a smile.

"Thanks, (Y\N)" It felt nice to have Ben back with all of the losers. The bunch of you asked Ben questions about his trip and messed around for about an hour, before deciding to put in the movie. They all look at you and as you were leaning on Richie's shoulder.

"What?"

"The movie?" Stan questioned.

"Oh right! It's in my car I'll be right back."

You walked out to the car and sat down in the front seat grabbing the movie out of the glove compartment. You open the door to your car as Stan gets out on the other side. Standing in front of the car, preparing to go in, your breath hitches in the back of your throat as you see Eddie's car. Your mouth goes dry and you feel like you just want to crawl back into the car and drive home. Stan walks over to you and puts an arm around your shoulder. Suddenly he feels the same way, letting himself be affectionate like this. But when he looks down at you and sees the look on your face he throws all that aside. Stan squeezes you into his side rubbing his hand up and down your forearm. You take a deep breath and lean into him. Stan feels his heart flutter as he sees and can almost feel you finding comfort in him. You turn your head to look up to him. You would've felt the same flutter had your mind, heart, and stomach not be so focused on your ex-boyfriend and ex-best friend.

"It's gonna be alright. Right?" You ask, the smallness in your voice pained Stan. His nervousness was gone now, replaced with anger. Not enough to present on his face, but enough for him to hear your voice ring in his ears when he sees Eddie on Richie's lap when the two eventually get inside.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's gonna be fine. I promise." He unwraps his arm from and holds out his hand, palm up.

"You won't start shit with Richie or Eddie?" You said lacing your hand into Stan's, the pair of them dropping down to your sides as you start for the door. Stan gives you a smile and nods

"Promise."

You opened the door and entered the house again, this time with the movie. You handed it over to Bill then sat down on the couch next to Ben, on his other side was Beverly at the end of the couch. Mike sat down on the other side of you at the other end of the couch, Stan was sitting over in the recliner beside the couch on Bev's side. Eddie and Richie were on popcorn duty so they were in the kitchen. Far away enough from the loser's sight Richie wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist while he stood in front of the microwave waiting for the popcorn.

"Stop, Rich, they're gonna see us."

A muffled "No they're not," came from Richie who was now snuggling his head into Eddie's neck. Eddie looked around nervously for a second. When he saw no one present he relaxed into Richie and leaned his head up against the boy's who's was in his neck. The microwave dinged and Eddie jumped. Richie laughed and let go of Eddie getting a bowl from the cabinet,

"Scared of a microwave Eds?" Eddie dumped the popcorn into the bowl handing back to Richie,

"Take this dickwad. And don't call me Eds!" The rest of the losers heard their usual bickering as they entered back into Bill's living room. You gave a smile to Richie and he sat down on the floor at your feet. He handed Beverly the popcorn then grabbed your legs and threw them over his shoulders, leaning his head back. You laughed and your hands went to play with his beautiful, although messy curls.

"Stop! I worked really hard on these curls!" Stan smacked away your hand as Mike opened the door.

"I just can't!! I'm a sucker for the curls." You whined. Mike laughed, smiling at his friends,

"Come on Bev is trying to teach us yo-yo tricks." Stan let out a laugh. As you walk into the living room Bill is in front of the couch with one of Ben's yo-yo's failing to do a trick Bev is doing right next to him with ease.

"You'll get it someday Denbrough."

"H-h-how about you try it huh?" Bill sassed you, his eyebrows furrowed together, mouth in a pout. You couldn't help but chuckle at his frustration, which could mirror the frustration of a little boy or a toddler even. Your eyes move over to Ben and a smile grows big on your face as you pull Stan over to where Ben is patting the cushion next to him. As you sit down next to Ben your eyes wander toward the back of the room in reaction to your ears hearing laughter. You, obviously, didn't know Stan's eyes were following until you felt his person stiffen like a board 'It's gonna be alright. Right?' the look that you gave him and the tone in your voice haunting his brain, reminding himself to keep a lid on it. There they were right before you, Eddie sitting comfortably in Richie's lap, his legs hanging over the arm of the chair. Richie's arms holding him there securely. They were laughing at Bev doing funny tricks with her yo-yo behind Bill so he wouldn't see, still determined to get the trick right. You hadn't noticed you were staring until suddenly Eddie's eyes were staring right back into yours. Everyone else seemed to notice as a silence fell over the room. Mike coughed and you snapped your eyes down to the floor.

"So are we gonna play a game or something?" Stan asked, putting a hand at the small of your back rubbing lightly. Ben saw out of the corner of his eye. He saw how your shoulders dropped as your body visibly relaxed. You had noticed it yourself. Ben looked over at Beverly and when she noticed he started quickly shifting his eye back from her to you and Stan. Bev gave him an 'I told you so' look.

"Yeah, we got games in the closet who wants to play Clue?"

"Yes!!" You yelled. You and Bill high-fived.

Stan winced and rubbed his ear "Ow! That was my ear!"

When Richie finally got the guts to look over in your direction he wasn't expecting to see your hand caringly rest itself on the side of Stan's head

"Sorry" He heard you say with a soft laugh. One that he knew all too well. A little sign of embarrassment, but not too much that you would go shy. He could also hear the soft sympathy in your voice. He noticed something about it. Not that it was different. No, it wasn't different at all. That was the thing though; your tone wasn't even the slightest bit different from the way Richie remembers your voice sounding. Not when talking to anyone else, but when talking to him specifically. What he heard in your voice was what he had always heard in your voice whenever you would look at him with those eyes full of love and caring. 'But why would you have that tone in your voice talking to Stan,' Richie had wondered to himself. Then he saw Stanley's hand. Up at his ear when you had shouted, drop down to the small of your back. His eyes glued to Stanley Uris' thumb, as he rubbed it against the small of your back in a soothingly intimate way. It made an emotion surge throughout Richie. He didn't quite know what it was but he knew that he didn't like it.

You were searching around a bit for Richie, confused when you couldn't find him anywhere downstairs. When the movie had finished up Ben didn't feel so good so Beverly took him home. You had gone along for the ride to get some more drinks for the rest of you. When you got back to Bill's, Richie was nowhere to be seen. When you first walked into the house you went to the kitchen with Bill to put away the soda's grabbing one for you and Bev. Going back to the living room you noticed it was only Bev and Mike. 'Geez, where'd everybody go?' You thought to your self. You looked over your shoulder to find Bill headed your way. You turned around and noticed Stan on the stairs face scrunched in frustration on the phone. 'Poor thing' You assumed he was on the phone with Patty, the two of them haven't been along too well recently. You turn back around,

"Hey, Mike, you seen Richie or Eds?" He shook his head.

"Richie I don't know, but I thought Eddie was talking to Stan over there." You gave him a small smile and muttered thanks before you went over to Stan. You felt bad disturbing him on the phone but he seemed almost relieved to get out of the conversation. You stuck your hand between the banisters on the stairs and tapped a finger on Stan's knee.

"Hey, have you seen Richie?" You hesitantly ask Bev.

"He's over there by the stairs with Mike." She smiled reassuringly at you and put a hand on your shoulder. Richie saw you approach the two of them and put his head down expecting you to be there to talk to Mike. But when Mike walked away he looked up surprised.

"Hey, Rich." An awkward feeling settled in the air.

"Hi" a hint of optimism in his voice. Richie felt relieved that you were actually talking to him, although you weren't all too thrilled about it, you wanted to get it over with. Maybe help things get back to normal.

"Uh, thanks for letting me and Eds come to the party. I know you, Beverly and Mike planned it so, thanks." A pretty genuine smile mixed with a little unsettlement, not knowing what you were gonna do or say.

"Well they're your friends too, and the party is for Ben anyway so." Your voice was small and fragile. Richie's felt his body relax. He didn't know if it was because the sound of your voice made me feel like the worst person in the world or because he was relieved that you weren't yelling at him. He supposed it was a little bit of both.

"I'm surprised they all still talk to me." Upon hearing that, you immediately thought of what you overheard Bill say about Ben not talking to Eddie.

"I truly don't think they would have cut you off forever, I mean they were your friends before they were mine-"

"Yeah but your more likable" You chuckled and Richie smiled,

"The truth is they had talked to me about it and I told them I didn't want anyone taking sides. But still, I think only maybe, Ben and Bev would have given you a real silent treatment. I'm sorry that Stan kinda has."

"No, No you have nothing to be sorry for. It's all on me. But thank you. For asking them not to pick sides. It means a lot." The hallway fell silent again.

"I don't want you to get offended or anything, I truly don't mean anything by this,-" Richie was now being overly cautious with his words, he really didn't want to hurt you more than he already has. "I was just a little surprised when Stan cut me off as he did. You two never really seemed that close, now he's practically glued to your hip."

Richie's tone fell more toward anger as reached the end of his sentence, his mind thinking back to Stanley's hand on your back. A part of him added that in just to hear your answer. Had you already moved on? Is that why you were talking to him because you had moved on to Stan? Why did this upset him so much? When you answered with a little,

"Yeah, honestly me too." Richie felt not just his confusion grow but also his anger.

This wasn't like Stan. If Stan would have wanted to be in a relationship with you he would have told you. 'Well maybe she just doesn't want to tell you?' 'No.' He thought 'That couldn't be it, she sounds just as confused as I do. What was Stan getting at with her?' Richie was snapped back into reality when Eddie came bounding down the stairs loud as usual, shouting,

"Mike you're out of band-aids! You should put that on a list or something, do you know how infected cuts can get without the proper bandage or ointment?!" Richie laughed and smiled at Eddie.

"Do you even need a band-aid?" Beverly asked amused by Eddie's usual antics.

"Well, no but still!" Eddie saw you and froze, but when he saw that you were laughing a bit he relaxed.

He had been extremely nervous to come to the party. It would be the first time all eight of you would be hanging out since you had caught him and Richie. Not to mention it was a party for Ben, and Ben hadn't even talked to him since Beverly told him what happened. Eddie couldn't even count how many times he had asked Richie if it would just be better if they stayed home together. But every single time Richie would reassure him that everything would be fine, even though he was asking himself the same damn question. Eddie was practically shaking about seeing you again. He felt so guilty about going behind your back with Richie, but he couldn't help himself. He had spent all that time in pain thinking Richie didn't love him back, so when Richie actually told him that he was in love with him. It was all Eddie could think about. All the voices in his head telling him how selfish he was being, were tearing at him, but they were pushed aside. He was so tired of longing for Richie on the sidelines. He deserved happiness too. Eddie Kaspbrak was not proud in any way of how he got it, but the happiness he felt when being with Richie was something otherworldly to him. How could he let it go? How could he let something so precious and important to him, something he wanted for so long, slip through his fingers?

"Well hey, me and (Y\N) could g-g-go over to Muh-mister Keene's." Bill threw a wink in your direction

"I swear to god you throw one more fucking pregnancy test at me, Denbrough!"

Stan shouted, "What?" as the rest of you laughed. You had walked away as Richie's laughter died down when his mind had put two and two together. Richie then put his arm around Eddie and pressed a kiss to his head to try and calm himself down. 'I can't fucking believe he would do this to her!'

You laughed with the rest of them and sat back down next to Stan who was looking more confused by the second. You explained what happened at Mr.Keene's to him. All of you laugh even more when you bring up framing Bill for knocking someone up. Stan leaned over and whispered in your ear

"You did tell him we aren't actually sleeping with each other right?" You leaned over to his ear

"Of course I did. He just doesn't believe me." You both shake your heads laughing

"Bev and Ben didn't believe me when I told them either."

"Yeah, I don't think Mike does either, but honestly it's not like we would really believe them if it was the other way around or something." Stan laughed,

"I might believe Mike, but the others, probably not"

"And what are you two whispering about?" Bev wiggled her eyebrows.

"'Oh Stanley I love the way you cuddle up to me in the middle of the night!! You're such a good lover and such a strong man!!'" Bill squealed out in a girly voice.

"What the fuck!!" You shouted in between fits of laughter. The whole room was in hysterics as Bill threw his arms around Mike. Richie stood by the entrance of the living room with Eddie who was dying laughing. Richie, however, was faking a laugh, trying his hardest to keep his cool. He put on a smile on his face and gave a little chuckle as he told Eddie he was going to get a drink. Mike then threw his arms around Bill the same, playing along. The pair was then pretending to make out, their hands foolishly caressing each other's bodies as they made kissing noises. Stan hoped you were too busy laughing to see the intense blush across his cheeks as he laughed as well. Lucky for him you were doubled over in laughter and lucky for you as well, as you were also hiding a blush behind your laughing. "Is that really how you see us?" You laughed asked Bill before he could answer Richie's voice was heard loud across the living room.

"Hey, Stanley can we talk for a second?"

Stan looked over to you. The soft expression on your face almost seemed to calm him.

"Hey, do you know where Richie went?" You asked softly.

"I saw him go upstairs. I think."

"Thanks, Stan." You walk up the stairs wondering what the fuck Richie would be doing upstairs. Your eyes immediately go to Georgie's room. You always got a weird feeling from that room ever since he had died. Forgetting about Richie for a second you take a few steps closer to the door of the, now forever, young boy's bedroom. You reached your hand to the handle of the door when you heard a noise coming from Bill's room. You're head snapped around at the sudden noise. You took a deep breath and headed towards Bill's room.

"Why the hell are you in Bill's room, Richie?" you whispered to yourself. You opened up the door a crack deciding to peep on Richie in hopes of scaring him. You look into the room and see that Richie was with Eddie. Second, guessing whether or not you should go on with the scare, knowing Eddie will you chew your ass out for it, you heard your name in conversation,

"Hold on I think (Y\N) and Beverly are back." You looked in and saw Eddie going for the windows. Before he could reach one Richie grabbed his wrist and pulled Eddie back next to him on the bed.

"They went to go bring Ben home, they're totally not back yet just relax." You notice the soothing tone in Richie's voice. Usually, when Eddie is freaking out over nothing Richie just sounds annoyed. You've never really heard him be soft with Eddie like that. Which drew you to the conclusion that he was being soft for a reason. 'But why would Eddie be so worried about me and Bev coming back?' You watched as Richie put a hand on Eddie's shoulder. 'What the hell is going on here?' You continued to watch Richie's hand very closely as it traveled from Eddie's shoulder up to his neck with a thumb rubbing gently behind his ear. Your confusion grew more and more with every passing second. Eddie then put his hand up to Richie's. 'surely to swat him away' you instinctively thought. Only he didn't, instead, he gently held the other boy's hand. You could feel your throat begin to dry, slowly becoming hard to swallow. You watched as Richie leaned in and rested his forehead against Eddie's. Everything in you stiffened as you begged for it all to be over. For Eddie to say, 'what in the world are you doing?'. Or for Richie to playfully shove Eddie over messing around. For the whole scene in front of you to fade away like some sort of hallucination. Hell!, maybe even for someone to say 'what about (Y\N)?' at that point you would take anything. Any sort of hesitation or wavering. But your internal pleas would never be answered. Probably never even heard no matter how loud they were screaming from inside of you. You were forced to watch by eyes that couldn't pry themselves away from the scene before them, almost like they were watching for answers or confirmation of what seems now to be what has been happening behind your back for God knows how long. You felt your stomach drop, your heart, and it plummeting down together. As Richie, confident as ever, took Eddie into his arms connecting their lips together with such passion. Your eyes couldn't watch any longer. Before you even knew what you were doing, your hand had balled into a fist and slammed itself against the white bedroom door. Two loud bangs echoed through the house: The first one from your fist connecting with the door, the second from the door hitting the wall of Bill's bedroom. Leaving a large dent Bill would have to explain to his mother later. The two boys jumped from the sound. So had everybody downstairs. Their eyes wide faces drained of any color, you wouldn't be able to think they could get any paler. But when they realized who was at the door, who made that noise. It was almost like they had turned to ghosts. Eddie looked into the eyes of his best friend. He didn't think eyes could hold so much rage yet so much heartbreak at the same time. It was enough to make him nauseous. He would have bet you good money that at that moment he would vomit. At that point, you had started to cry. Richie stood frozen his face-melting from shock into guilt as he watched the tears stream down your face. As if this wasn't humiliating enough, being cheated on with your best friend, when you turned around to run, you were met with the confused faces of all your friends, except Ben of course.

"What happened?" Mike asked looking at you with sympathy.

"They're fucking!" You stated with anger and betrayal. Beverly looked at the two with anger.

"NO! No! We would never not while (Y\N) and I..." You couldn't hear the rest of what Richie was saying as you raced down the stairs to get out of there. Stan following in suit as Richie walked into Mike's room. Stan walked to the opposite side of the room as Richie closed Mike's bedroom door. Stan didn't know what Richie wanted with him, what he knew was that he did not want to be in that room with Richie, hell he didn't even want to be in that house with Richie. Stan didn't quite understand why he felt this fucking mad at Richie, all he knew was that he was this fucking mad at Richie. And with that much anger, he didn't know how to keep it in. Nor did he want to. Of course, Richie just wants to go back to being friends, he just wants his best friend back and everything to be back to normal. And that's what Stan thinks this whole thing is about. But boy was Stan unaware of the shit show that Richie was about to load on him. Stan stood against Mike's dresser, arms crossed waiting for Richie to spew some shit about, forgiveness or going back to normal, starting over. His eyes were almost already in the back of his head just thinking about it. Stan was starting to question just truly naive Richie was thinking things could just go back to nor-

"What the fuck do you think you're doing taking advantage of (Y\N) like that!"

Hold up, wait, WHAT! Stan looked at Richie like he had grown three heads, eye sharp like daggers,

"What in the actual hell are you talking about?" his voice was cold and stern. Stan could not believe what Richie had just said to him. How fucking dare Richie of all people accuse him of taking advantage of (Y\N)! Richie flailed

"I saw how she was with you, I heard what Bill said! How could you be so fucking carel-" Stan wouldn't even let Richie finish that last word.

"Don't you even fucking say it." Stan may have looked calm before, but now you could see everything in his demeanor change. Sharp, anger-filled eyes, clenched jaw, clenched fists, with tall erect posture. Richie swallowed stopping for a second. There was still nothing changing his mind on what he believed Stan to be doing.

"What is wrong with you, why would even think it's ok to just use (Y\N) for sex!?-" Stan was fueled with rage, he couldn't believe that Richie would think that. He has known Stan for years, and after all this time, this is the conclusion he makes about him. He watched as Richie shouted as he paced back and forth, spewing his mouth like a damn hypocrite, arms flying through the air and in Stan's face. Stan had just about had enough,

"Cuz, of course, it never crossed your mind for even a second that I might actually care for her!" Richie was just about out of breath with anger, small pants were in between his words as he said:

"If you really cared about her you would have left her alone not taken advantage of her while she's vulnerable." Stan didn't even need time to process that sentence before his mind had decided what would come out of his mouth. The truth. The last sentence to come out of Stan's mouth was something that Richie, the rest of the losers listening through the door, and LEAST of all Stan expected to hear. It was like something in him just snapped. The whole conversation, if you could call it that, Stan was able to keep his composure. He was never really one to yell, but something had just taken over him as he walked up to Richie,

"Oh really, you want to talk to me about caring about (Y\N), wake up and smell the roses Richie YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON HER!!! WITH HER BESTFRIEND!! YOU ARE THE REASON SHE'S IN A VULNERABLE PLACE! DON'T YOU STAND HERE AND TRY TO TELL ME THAT I DON'T CARE ABOUT HER YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I'M THE ONE THAT FUCKING LOVES HER!"

They do say it makes you crazy. That's exactly what happened with Stan, over the year and a half that Eddie introduced her to the group and Richie and her starting dating, Stanley Uris had fallen in love with her. And it had made him crazy, either he wasn't able to admit it to himself, having had both been in relationships at the time of the meeting and falling for the young lady, or he was just that stupid and blind that couldn't see he was in love with (Y\N) (Y\L\N). Stan walked over to the door, twisting the handle, looking straight ahead avoiding all eye contact with anybody, walked out the door. (Y\N) trying to catch up right behind him.

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redsunsetxiii · 4 years

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**Please do not repost without credit** [TRANS] 2019.10.31 SONE NOTE LIVE vol. 24 with Hyoyeon

Staff: You tried making wood burned clocks this time! Do you usually wear a favorite wristwatch, or do you have any memories related to clocks, like being given one?

Hyoyeon: I like wristwatches as a fashion item, but I never imagined that I would make a clock myself (laughs). A clock is something that tells time and schedules. I do have a memorable incident; I don’t use my phone’s alarm and instead I use an alarm clock. However, the battery died and didn’t ring on a day that I had work of all days! At that time, I realized once again how important clocks are. Clocks need to run 24 hours a day! (laughs)

Staff: Why don’t you use your phone’s alarm?

Hyoyeon: I like the classic feel of an alarm clock. Instead of a phone alarm that everyone uses recently, I think it’s kind of nice to set an alarm clock before going to bed! Also, that alarm clock would get louder and louder the longer I didn’t get up (laughs). Ever since that incident I set three alarm clocks. (laughs)

Staff: Is there a clock that you want?

Hyoyeon: I want a really big clock. There are people who hang large pictures in their homes. So I would like to hang a large clock as interior decoration like that! Of course it has actual use of telling time, but I think it would be wonderful visually as well. I wonder if it will also suggest that I be on time, too? (laughs) Antique designs are nice for table clocks. I think a vintage birdcage design is also nice.

Staff: Did you know about the art of wood burning? How was trying it out?

Hyoyeon: The phrase ‘wood burning’ is new to me. Once this project was set, I searched on the web, etc., but today is the first time I’ve seen the actual art!

As I thought, this work is for someone who has nimble hands. I like these kinds of activities, but I’m not dexterous at all (laughs). So this kind of activity is always a repetition of trial and error! That’s why I usually practice a lot before actually attempting it, so I was really worried about failing as I was trying it out on camera (laughs).

Staff: Do you think this is an activity that suits your personality?

Hyoyeon: This might seem surprising to everyone, but my hobbies to relieve stress are opposite of my personality, like doing puzzles or writing in my diary! I also color. It’s nice to quietly concentrate by myself and really get absorbed in one thing without thinking of anything else. I also play simple games!

I believe wood burning would be a hobby like that. It seems fun if I was alone at home and can concentrate a lot of time on it! However, after actually trying it out, I found that it needs a lot of strength. Also, since I don’t have the know-how, I also don’t know the degree of strength to use… The color gets darker or lighter depending on the level of strength, but since I continuously put in a lot of power my hands are trembling a little now (laughs).

Staff: You started with drawing the design, so what kind of image or concept did you draw?

Hyoyeon: The design that I actually liked the most out of the ones provided by the instructor was the gradient forest image. I personally love nature like flowers and forests, but no matter how I thought about it, it was an impossible design with my ability (laughs). I was drawn to the flower and tree designs as well, but I thought that I definitely could not express those details. So that’s why I thought to do a simple, easy to do design that I could not fail at, and chose a design with letters and simple lines! There were circle and oval boards for the clock base, but I went with a square board that is said to be best for beginners (laughs). If I went with what I liked then it would probably be a catastrophe (laughs). So today I went with a modest design like a beginner!

Staff: Is there a reason why you didn’t add color after doing the wood burning?

Hyoyeon: I thought that there was enough of a vintage feel without adding colors. I’m glad I was able to express the natural feel of wood!

Staff: If you were to do this again, what would you make?

Hyoyeon: I would like to make a half circle stand. I would add letters to the bottom part, add pictures, and stick photos to complete it simply and stylishly.

Staff: Please share what you were particular about with the design and your favorite part.

Hyoyeon: The instructor said that it is better to draw the rough sketch without hesitation, but that is really difficult for a beginner, so the lines are a little off on the board surface. However, that surprisingly has a charm to it and it’s wonderful how it naturally expresses the wood pattern!

Staff: How was burning pictures onto wood, which is the true charm of wood burning? Was it difficult to draw lines and add shading using the hot iron? Please share what was fun about wood burning.

Hyoyeon: At first because I was nervous, I tried with my whole body (laughs). As I did it more, I was able to control my fingers a little and could add shading. If I relaxed my fingers, it got softer and it was easier to do the work. I concentrated so much that those around me asked, “you’re not breathing, right?”, and I realized that I was holding my breath while doing it (laughs).

The funnest part was the burning part. It might be a little different, but when I was a student, I liked the wood printing class the most and I recalled those prints with today’s wood burning. The way to do it may be different, but there are some parts that are similar!

Also the scent was nice. I like camping and open fires, so while working on the wood burning, I felt that the scents were similar and somehow calmed down (laughs).

Staff: Which member do you think would be the best at wood burning?

Hyoyeon: I guess Sunny? She seems to be attending a leather workshop and she’s really dexterous. I believe that she definitely would have talent with wood burning!

Staff: How was your workmanship? How many points would you give it out of 5?

Hyoyeon: It’s too vintage and surely would not suit everyone, so I’ll take it home (laughs). I guess I’ll give it 2-3 points (laughs). But it was the first thing I made, and it is pretty cute when seen from afar, so I’ll raise it to 3.5 points (laughs).

If I had more ability I would have liked to have drawn pictures, but I couldn’t so I thought instead of a poor drawing, I would write a message and wrote “I LOVE SONE”. A clock is something that is always seen throughout daily life, so I wrote it to always feel SONE everytime I see it. I couldn’t draw a pretty picture, but I properly put my feelings into the message!!

Staff: If you were to decorate your home with that clock, where would you put it? Please share why as well.

Hyoyeon: I’d put it in my own room (laughs). Today’s experience was really enjoyable and I want to take that feeling back home with me. I want to try wood burning again and make something that’s even better!

Staff: If you were to give a wood burned clock that you designed and made to a member as a present, who would you give it to?

Hyoyeon: I would like to give a clock with a special meaning to Yoona. It would be a special clock with my art on it (laughs). Write a letter...ah, that seems to be very difficult. I would have to burn the contents of that letter in one by one… How much time would that take? (laughs) But I would like give a clock with a letter on it for a birthday or something! A tabletop clock might be nice, too. Ah, but that would be even harder (laughs).

Staff: Besides wood burning, is there an art or craft that you would like to try? Or what would you like to make if wood craft is next?

Hyoyeon: I want to try making a cutting board! I have a great interest in kitchen supplies and if given the chance, I would like to try making them. Ceramics like plates would definitely be difficult, so I would like to try making them with wood. Something like a cutting board or wooden ladle. Wooden kitchen supplies are cute♪

Staff: You released your 3rd digital single, “Badster” in July. You participated in making the song, but how would you like SONE JAPAN to listen to it?

Hyoyeon: I wanted to try releasing a song with an even deeper style as a DJ. The song’s genre, trance, is my recent favorite genre and I personally have the most confidence in. It might be quite a maniac genre, but I believe that the song can properly show me as a DJ. It’s a song that expresses the professional DJ Hyoyeon, and I would like them to hear it from that side. Also, it has gotten a better response than I thought from around the world and I’m very happy and having fun with it.

Staff: You’ve been visiting a lot of different countries recently, so please tell us if you have a favorite country or place! Also, how do you spend your time abroad?

Hyoyeon: I visited Southeast Asia after releasing “Badster” and I’m thankful that the reaction was very good and that everyone was giving me a lot of support. Because of that, I’m really in high spirits now! I’m going to have more and more fun like this! And I’m generally busy abroad and don’t really have the feeling of spending time on anything. I’ve gone to many countries and just moving between them takes a lot of time. That’s why I fervently listen to music. This year has especially been like this!

Staff: This SONE NOTE LIVE will be released in October. In Japan in recent years, people have been dressing up and getting excited for Halloween, but how do you spend your Halloween?

Hyoyeon: Last year and the year before last, I had a Halloween party with my company. It’s really hard because everyone competes to see who has the best and most interesting costume… They all dress up to the point where you don’t know who’s who (laughs). But I think this year I probably have a schedule as a DJ. It would also be nice to have fun in costume with all the fans!

Staff: Please let us know if there’s something you would like to try for the next SONE NOTE LIVE.

Hyoyeon: I’d like to try making something like a lamp. Something like an illumination lamp? A lamp for the outdoors like camping would be nice too. It’s because I’m a romantic (laughs). Ah, that’s it! I want to try minimal camping. I want to camp in Hangang Park that’s nearby. I can’t go far (laughs). I would camp modestly at a nearby place. Flower viewing with everyone would be nice, too. That would absolutely be fun ^^

Staff: Finally, a message for SONE JAPAN please!

Hyoyeon: Hello everyone~ I’m really thankful for all the support from the many fans in Japan for DJ HYO. I receive new power from everyone’s support and I will be able to make more songs with that energy so please continue to give your support! I’ll try my hardest to show everyone my best self. Please look forward to it <3

Translation by RedSunsetXIII source: SONE JAPAN website **Please do not repost without credit**

#snsd trans #sone note live #sone japan #HyoYeon #snsd hyoyeon

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the-bargainista · 5 years

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Miami vice

I recently went on my friend’s bachelorette party trip to Miami and had the time of my life. Whether you go for spring break, your or your pal’s last fling, or just a winter getaway, here are my suggestions to make the most of Magic City.

Getting There and Around

You can often save on airfare by flying into Fort Lauderdale rather than Miami International Airport. JetBlue, Southwest, and Spirit all service Fort Lauderdale, which is about 30 miles from Miami Beach.

You can rent a car if you want to go all over the Miami area, but if you are staying in Miami Beach and plan to spend most of your time there, you can get by with walking, short Uber/Lyft rides, and the bus system.

Stay

Be careful about booking Airbnb in Miami Beach. Short-term rentals are illegal in most parts of the city, and the city is really cracking down.

Believe it or not, it is possible to find an affordable hotel in Miami Beach. I stayed at the James Hotel, which is walking distance from most of the Miami Beach/South Beach sights, including the beach and other well-known hotels. This hotel is no-frills, but the exterior, lobby, and hallways are decorated with quirky, charming mosaics, paintings, and sculptures. Wi-Fi and parking are free, and there is free coffee and doughnuts in the morning.

Obviously, the beach is a big draw. You can travel to one of the famous beaches like South Beach, but you can also just walk straight out of your hotel until you hit the ocean. Expect a lot of seaweed but also a fantastically relaxing time in the sun and sand.

If you want to do a little more sightseeing, you can do a yacht cruise. I did the Millionaire’s Row Cruise at sunset and found my new beach house saw jaw-dropping mansions belonging to celebrities like Jackie Chan and Shakira.

Eat

Rosetta Bakery is a cute place to grab a quick breakfast. Taco Rico has a large variety of Tex-Mex options, cheap beer, and fresh juices.

Moreno’s Cuba has an adorable hidden outdoor area with colorful lights, live music, and a daybed swing. The cocktails are delicious, and the Moreno’s Crack Pie is better than the flan. Another good option for Cuban food is Havana 1957. I also love Puerto Sagua, which is surprisingly homestyle for the area.

Drink

Fresh tropical fruit juices abound. So do mojitos in exotic flavors. At every opportunity, you must drink Cuban coffee, which is very strong espresso. If you want milk, you can get a café con leche, and if it’s hot out, you can get iced café con leche.

Nightlife

Basement Miami has a bowling alley, an indoor skating rink (yes, really), and a club. The bowling is really fun, but you can skip the club. The skating rink is only worth trying for the novelty if the manager offers to let you in for free. I’m not sure why they decided to combine skate blades with alcohol and skimpy clothes.

Instead, after bowling, head upstairs for a drink at the Matador Bar. And by “a drink,” I mean the $100 rose gold scorpion swan. The server told us it would be filled with a passion fruit punch, which we assumed would be very weak, but it was STRONG. It was really too much even for six people.

My favorite place was Mango’s Tropical Café. For about $40 per person, you can get dinner and drinks at a reserved table. There is a stage in the main room with rotating performers from Jabbawockeez-style dancers to salsa and bachata dancers. There was even a little Magic Mike-like act that is perfect for bachelorettes.

Mango’s is two levels, and there are a number of different rooms playing different music, all of it very danceable. There is something for everyone, and you never feel crowded because there is so much space and you can always go back to your reserved table.

When to Go

The first time I went to Miami, I went during Miami Music Week, specifically during the Ultra Music Festival, at the end of March. There were tons of special DJ shows and pool parties, but the weather was only in the 70s (I say “only” because it was cold and windy at the beach!) and there were periods of rain.

I was concerned about the weather this time, a whole month earlier, but it was sunny and in the 80s the whole time. It was also the Food Network South Beach Wine and Food Festival, but the festival was way too expensive to attend.

It seems like winter/early spring is a good time to visit, before the unbearable heat and humidity of Florida summers and then hurricane season. Just be wary of winter weather affecting your flight at home.

The beach, nightlife, amazing food and drinks, what more could you really ask for in a vacation?

#food #fun #travel

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mattzerella-sticks · 5 years

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Silly Bands (Dean/Cas, M, 7.8k, Misunderstandings in the Club)

Dean isn't sure what kind of club hands out wristbands. But he's not going to admit he's confused. He'll keep his head down, try to have a good time and hope it doesn't have anything to do as the night wears on.

And it doesn't... so he thinks. But when the truth of the wristband is revealed, he freaks. Did he make a mistake in which color he chose? Or will he discover it was the right choice after all?

It all depends on how he feels after one dance.

Dean thought the night was going to be a wash. Visiting Sam over in sunny California, he resigned himself to a fate of hanging around Stanford’s campus like some creep. His brother had always been more of the ‘stay-home-and-study’ kid than the ‘out-until-4-am’ kind. So the first night there Dean readied the couch for the Netflix marathon he knew Sam prepared. Cut to Sam coming out of his room in a light blue button-down and dark wash jeans, glaring at Dean in his hoodie and sweats. “What?” he barked.

“I thought I told you to get ready?”

He scoffed, “Yeah, I am.”

“Ready for what? A Netflix marathon?”

“…Exactly that. What did you think I was getting ready for?”

Sam threw his hands to the sky. “The bar!” Dean’s response was a simple blink. “You know,” he continued, “The bar I told you we were going to, tonight with my friends? Weren’t you listening?”

“Uh…” Dean used to give Sam his undivided attention. However, in the lead up to college and after the big move, most of his conversations revolved around school and the law. “Sorry if I assumed you meant that bar test thing-y you’re always complaining about!” His misplaced foot tasted better than the intense look of disappointment Sam served him. “Fine, fine! Give me a few minutes – I won’t be long!”

They were on the road in seven minutes.

On the way, Sam chattered on about whom they were meeting and what bar they were going to. Again, Dean didn’t pay attention. Normally he would be an active participant, at times even lead their car conversations. Except after a serious run-in with a police officer on his way into Palo Alto, Dean focused on the road more than any class he sat through in high school. He breathed out in relief when he noticed they made it with no flashing red-and-blue lights in his rearview.

Letting Sam out, Dean circled the block for a parking spot. He slid in between a yellow bug and a pale, beige truck. Then walking the blocks back, he snuck into the line right behind Sam as he was flashing his ID to the bouncers.

One of the men stopped him, “Hey, where do you think –“

“Sorry, sorry, he’s with me,” Sam said, “he was parking.”

They conferred silently with drawn brows and snarled lips. Dean flashed a cheeky grin their way, winking with his patented Winchester charm. The bouncer who held him back dropped the hand from his chest. “Do you need me to explain the rules –“?

Sam shook his head, “Nah, I already did that on the way in.”

Dean doesn’t remember anything Sam said, but nodded along. ‘Besides,’ he thought, ‘What kind of bar has rules? The one that Sammy frequents, obviously…’ So he showed his ID and followed Sam inside.

The pounding bass line reverberated in the dark hallway. Dean stared at the black vinyl walls, where neon paintings hung one after the other. The actual bar was hidden behind another door, each swing freeing the full blasting song of some club remix Dean never heard before. He glanced down at his outfit, unsure if it would fit in. Acid washed jeans, his favorite purple plaid shirt and a brown leather jacket.

He didn’t stew long on it, the girl behind him pushing him forward. Right before the door, a woman with a high ponytail sat behind a desk littered with wristbands. When Dean stepped up, he was unsure of what to do. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sam grab a pink one and roll it onto his wrist. Dean rolled his eyes. ‘Of course he’d choose pink, probably to show how sensitive he is.’

Sam tried handing him a wristband of the same color, only for Dean to wave him off. Instead he plucked a purple one from between a row of blues and greys and put it on. Sam stared, stone-faced, blocking his path like a statue. “Dude,” Dean asked, “what is it?”

“You… are you sure?”

“Uh, yeah, Sam? Purple’s my color.” He then shimmied his wrist between them for emphasis.

Then, in a turn of events that set Dean’s nerves on edge, Sam swallowed back a sob. “Wow, Dean I… I never knew. Have you always known or did you just find out recently?”

“Uh I mean, I don’t…” More people started shoving past them, yelling at them to move. “Listen, we’re kind of a fire hazard so could we…?”

“Oh, right, right… I was just – never mind.” They entered, Dean putting the strange encounter behind him as a screech tore through his ears. He glanced around, taking in the bar’s atmosphere while he waited for the ringing to end.

There was a large space in the center where most of the people were congregated. Dancing on top of a lit floor, different colors lighting up in time to the beat the DJ yards away controlled from his laptop. To his right there was a bar painted in navy, with a lit vanity behind it displaying the different types of alcohol they had to serve. Two bartenders wove around each other, dressed like Williamsburg transplants that had been air lifted out of the East Coast and parachuted into the West. Finally to his left, a series of tables and a row of booths that ended at a staircase that led to a second level.

Sam raised his long arm, sweeping it up towards one of booths on the second floor. “C’mon,” he said, guiding them through the crowds to find his friends.

After a detour through a spilled drink and past a very handsy woman, they made it. “Finally!” a small red head in a yellow jacket, black jeans, and a pink wristband said, “We thought you got lost!”

“Nah, just got sidetracked,” Sam said, clapping Dean on the back, “Anyway, this is my brother Dean. Everybody be nice.”

Dean offered them a salute and a “Howdy!”

“Dean,” the redhead reached across the table, grabbing his hand in a firm shake, “my name is Charlie. It’s so nice to finally meet you!”

“Nice to meet all of you as well…”

As Sam left to get them beers, the group kept introducing themselves to Dean. He leaned in close, trying to hear over the music. And while he learned everyone’s names, he also found himself taking note of their wristband colors. After Charlie, Kevin Tran waved hello with his pink wristband. Then Mick Davies, a transfer student from England, shook his hand as well, showing off his blue wristband. Rounding out the group were twins Alicia and Max, in grey and blue wristbands respectively.

“Y’know, Dean, Sam told us a lot, but not… this,” Max said, fingering his purple wristband, “Not that we’re unhappy – we’ve finally collected all the colors in this four-striped rainbow.”

“Yeah, well you’re a lot calmer than my brother,” Dean snorted, “Nearly had a stroke when he saw me pick it up.”

“Wait, so Sam didn’t know…”

“Uh… don’t know why he didn’t.”

Charlie chuckled. “Well you know how he is… sometimes he doesn’t notice the most obvious things.”

“Yeah,” Mick chimed in, “Remember how he didn’t realize why we were in San Francisco until the day of the parade?”

“Oh I know!” Charlie said, “Like we were dressed for it and everything – and he said that he wanted to ask but didn’t want to assume anything!”

“Well remember Alex?” Mick asked, “We could’ve been making out in front of Sam and he still would have tried setting me up with that girl in his Ethics class!” They clinked their glasses together, the entire table roaring alongside them.

Dean, unsure how that had anything to do with a purple wristband, was glad when Sam returned with two glasses from the tap to change the conversation. He sat on the fringe as the college kids discussed classes, tests, and clubs. It was interesting, having not gone to college himself. Dean doesn’t regret the choice, even now drinking with all of them. Hearing their horror stories reminded him how much he hated school, preferring to learn what he wanted on his own time.

Although he wished he visited sooner. Sam was in the middle of his final fall semester now, and the last time he saw him when it wasn’t a holiday or through a filmy laptop camera was freshman move-in day four years ago. He was playing catch-up with the added disadvantage of loud, crappy music. “It’s not like I could leave, really,” Dean explained when someone asked, “Bills to pay… and our Uncle barely hired anyone else to pick up the slack. He only caved this summer when his disk slipped and he couldn’t get onto a creeper anymore.”

Sam chuckled. “That sounds like Bobby. How did it happen again?”

“Some rich douche got annoyed that his BMW wasn’t ready when he wanted, so he kicked over a can of oil that he slipped on after chasing him out.”

“Jesus,” Charlie muttered, “He’s suing right?”

Dean nodded. “Insurance even sent over some big-shot lawyer from their company, once they heard how deep the pockets of the douche were.”

“I think I remember Bobby talking about him when I called,” Sam said, “Fergus… something. Whatever it was, he sounded real sour. Must not be getting along.”

“Actually you’d be surprised,” Dean told him, “They look like opposites: Bobby in his dirty flannel and Crowley – Fergus Crowley, that’s his name – in all black suits. But they’ve gotten real chummy the longer the case has gone on.” He didn’t get into details of how close they were. Dean wasn’t supposed to work overtime that one night in October, and they forgot to lock the door. ‘He’ll tell Sam in his own time.’

“So, besides your Uncle,” Mick said, “Do you have any other family in Kansas?”

Dean drew his lips into that classic white person look. It was a loaded question, and he wasn’t sure how much Sam told them. He shrugged, “Just a dad. Mom passed away young.”

“Yeah, Sam told us about that.”

“First time we’re hearing about a dad though,” Alicia said.

He looked to Sam, his brother leaning against the table with a rigid back. “There’s nothing to say, really. Retired, and spends a lot of his time at home.” Dean kept other details to himself, sure that tales of an emotionally distant, easy-to-anger, alcoholic would kill the mood.

The DJ called out for everyone to get on the dance floor, shifting into an upbeat number as sugary as a pink drink he saw a guy carry. Charlie squealed, “Get out! I love this song!” She dragged Kevin and Mick away, hopping down and towards the brightly lit center.

That was the beginning of the group’s break-up. Alicia joined the others on the first floor after Charlie waved to her from the writhing mass. And then a blonde in a skin-tight green leather dress, complimented by the blue wristband, pulled Sam away. Max stayed for a while, he and Dean chatting over their drinks. He enjoyed it, both sharing the same taste of music and books. But for some reason, Max left him. It was strange. He had moved in, fully facing Dean and laughing at a joke. Then Dean made a comment about a girl’s ass that passed them, and like a switch he lost interest.

He wasn’t lonely for long. Now that he wasn’t surrounded by buzzed undergrads, different patrons descended to chat. It was as if Dean set up near a revolving door, a variety of men and woman checking in on him. Dean hardly had time to breath between all his new ‘friends’.

(Link to Rest of Fic)

#Supernatural #Spn #Spn fanfic #Supernatural fanfiction #Dean Winchester #Castiel #Destiel fanfiction #Destiel fanfic

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a-lbeit · 5 years

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2018: a year in review

rang in the new year with really good people actually watching the ball drop for the first time in a few years. it always makes me sad in a happy way.

had my friend (from california) i met while studying in berlin come to visit!!! but there was a giant (relatively speaking) snowstorm that came through, so we had to rearrange a couple things we had planned on doing. but most things worked out, especially since i didn’t have to go to work for like 5 days lmfao. we did a ghost tour, went to a few historical sites, and even drove to savannah for a day.

went to waffle house with a few people the night before i left for my last semester at american university and....tbh....started feeling some things about someone again (but it’s gone away lmao)

returned to dc for the last time for a while

actually started booking things for the best goddamn spring break -- a trip to western south dakota to visit badlands national park and everything around it

saw the devil makes three

started an internship with rock creek park, my own door into the nps

went to the bars on u street for the first time for my friend’s birthday. almost got projectile vomited on during the pregame lmfaooooo

saw arlo guthrie

got moviepass at the height of it. i saw many films with it, some of my favorites being lean on pete, three billboards outside ebbing, missouri, and bad times at the el royale. however, the company obviously went downhill. i was all right with only being able to see 3 movies a month, because for 10 bucks, that’s still not bad. but then showtimes started disappearing and i finally gave up hope. it was nice while it lasted.

took my german midterm and skrrted right out of dc to embark on one of the greatest journeys of my life. i’d had this spring break in mind for a year and a half, and i feel so grateful that i could actually accomplish virtually everything i had dreamed of:

drove to dayton, ohio, then waterloo, iowa, then wall, south dakota, my final destination. along the way, i saw a zoo that was my window to a west i had only ever heard about, a statue of abraham lincoln right next to the mississippi, the world’s largest truck stop, a hobo memorial, an intricate and delicate and intriguing grotto, a tri-state marker, a corn palace, the goddamn missouri river, and all the farmland and life that make up the heartland of the united states. i was mesmerized and i had barely started.

reached my motel in the evening with a backdrop of the sunset over the badlands, got nervous by a group of men wearing camo and carrying what seemed to be hunting or fishing gear, went to dairy queen, and came back to a once-again empty motel parking lot. i felt better.

spent the next day in the national park. it was the off season, so the entrance i went through was unmanned. i saw countless sheep and prairie dogs, sometimes within a few feet of me, and admired the bright, layered colors in the rock. i played springsteen’s “badlands” with nobody in sight, miles of land in every direction that seemed both right there and unreachable at the same time. the visitor’s center had information and nice people. the cliff shelf trail was a small introduction to my hiking in the park. the notch trail was fun and gave me a bruise and let me see the badlands as they are meant to be seen -- you get to climb a ladder and get into the formations. there is an astonishing view, but if you go a bit further than most people do, it’s even more incredible. i lay down backwards and looked at everything upside down. i drove back the way i came and stopped to admire the sunset over the jagged and far-off edges. it was still the beginning.

(got an email saying i was accepted into the disney college program lmfao)

with the next day came a further destination. in belle fourche, sd, there is the true geographical center of the us. you go down a gravel road for around 8 miles. it’s scary when the fog doesn’t let you see more than 200 feet in front of you and the farms on either side of you are encased in snow. but the mysticism surrounding the decor -- a homemade cross, a simple “the true center of the nation” declaration, and various hiking boots stuck in the fence -- especially when you seem to be the only person for miles, is surreal. i left there and finally found my way out of the fog and went on into wyoming to see devils tower. the sky was a piercing blue and i was blinded by the light, but snow is always on the ground that time of the year, i guess, and i hiked knee-deep through 2 miles of it. i dropped to my knees in happiness like a weakling when i saw my car again, but i felt like cheryl strayed. people feed the prairie dogs so much there that they come right up to you. the squeaks were unending and cute. i drove the 2 or 2.5 hours back, mostly in the dark, my feet water-logged but my heart full.

i drove to mount rushmore the next day. it’s strange always knowing of something and finally seeing it in person. i love the sculpture and i don’t know how people are able to do things like that. i wish i could have hiked closer to it, but the trails were still closed for winter. then, through the black hills i continued, coming up to the crazy horse memorial and reluctantly paying the admission fee, although i know it helps their progress. i know i probably won’t be alive when (and if) it’s completed, but it’s nice to see at least part of it. i wish i could go up to it. maybe one day. wind cave national park came after, and i saw bison munching on grass 10 feet away from me. i wish i could have gone into the cave. maybe one day. i walked along the grassland without a jacket on. i couldn’t believe it. i left and took the backroads to return to mount rushmore to see it at night. it was scary, especially navigating the never-ending curves in the black of the unpopulated areas, but coming closer to the monument, i passed through one-car tunnels that framed the sculpture perfectly.

the next day was my second time around at the badlands. i hiked half of the castle trail and climbed some of the formations, able to admire all i could see from a throne made of crumbly rock. there was fog in the morning which lifted to another sunny day. there were cacti and deer and even phone lines. the shadows in the creases of the hills kill me with their nonchalant elegance. i went back to my motel and came back into the park at night. i had never seen so many stars, although it was so goddamn frightening being in a parking lot unable to see 5 feet in front of me that i left after a few minutes.

my last day, i was supposed to go to jewel cave national monument, but it snowed and caused some of the roads to close. instead, i walked through the storm to wall drug store and meandered around the kitschiness. i want to bring people there to show them how incredible it is.

i drove back to washington over the next 3 days, stopping at the now snow-covered badlands for one last look, the green giant in minnesota, effigy mounds national monument, dubuque, and everywhere in between along the way.

native american history around all of the places i have mentioned is rich and cannot be underestimated. i didn’t talk about it, but these places are of course sacred to the tribes of the region and it is paramount to respect that. i think the nps tries to educate, but it could do more.

i went about 4,200 miles on that trip. i miss the days of driving with my playlist that took months to create.

i came back to washington and didn’t really talk about my journey except for a mention of it when discussing what we had done over spring break in german class. i love to recount this 10 day period, but i don’t do so very much because i feel inarticulate and i don’t want to minimize the effect it has had on me.

saw langhorne slim, don mclean, and george ezra (on 3 separate occasions)

was a part of park rx day with rock creek park

saw old crow medicine show (which has become a yearly tradition i guess lmfao)

went to the graduation happy hour for the library circulation desk. that night was something i’ll never forget. i miss that place so much.

the next day, drove to clemson to see melissa graduate! what a time in our lives. then promptly drove back to dc for my own graduation

but the night before my ceremony, i saw david byrne. it was wild but not as great as i had hoped, mostly because i couldn’t see too well.

graduated from american university, but continued to be on its campus a few days a week until mid-august because i couldn’t bear the thought of leaving the library or the campus. i love that place more than i thought i ever would.

saw shakey graves 2 days in a row, as you do

saw pussy riot thanks to a recommendation from my german professor

visited my work friend’s farm just outside of baltimore

saw pauly d dj at a club lmfaoooooo

found a shark’s tooth at calvert cliffs state park

went to new york for a day to visit brandon before he moved to san francisco! i got in around 5:30am and had the first part of the day to myself. i went to staten island and all the nps sites downtown, then met him at his brother’s apartment a couple blocks from central park (???!!!!). we went to greenwich village, ate lunch at the white horse tavern, and then had a second lunch from mcdonald’s in washington square park. he had to go after a while, but i walked over to the high line to see the sunset. i walked ~45k steps that day but the joy is remembered more than the pain in the end.

i worked and flirted with a nice guy. i might visit him in california in may.

went to nashville to see paul simon with my friend callie. we rocked and enjoyed trashy nashy. that same day, paul simon announced his final show in queens was to be in september. i thought about how i could attend.

we came back to charleston through the smokies and went swimming in the rain. the beauty of that area is unlike anything else. then we met lauren for lunch and it was so goddamn nice. i wish it could have been for longer.

saw harry styles bc i love myself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

had a couple friends visit and we did the touristy stuff of dc. it was nice to do that with people for once.

had a couple more friends visit and we went to asbury park for the fourth of july. it was atmospheric and i couldn’t believe i was in springsteen’s stomping ground, especially as one of his song’s namesakes.

saw southside johnny and the asbury jukes

saw a ship belonging to the spanish navy when it docked in charleston for a couple days

started my second long trip of the year

drove from dc to cleveland, first of all. i spent as much time as i could in the rock and roll hall of fame. i saw all the stuff i had learned about in my rock and roll history class and stuff i had grown up with and everything else i didn’t know about. “bruce juice,” pete seeger’s banjo head, and a couple free games of pinball were memorable moments. then, i went on to the cleveland museum of art, where i took a photo i wasn’t supposed to and recognized a couple pieces from my art class sophomore year. i loved cleveland way more than i thought i would and saw myself as a resident there.

went to cuyahoga valley national park the next morning, admiring the only national park in ohio with its waterfalls and greenery, and continued on to bowling green, kentucky. on the way, i went to kent state (which affected me more than i thought -- the military is too often a disgusting institution).

took a 4 hour tour deep into mammoth cave and saw things i couldn’t have even fathomed before. i couldn’t really wrap my head around the fact that we were underground where it is always dark yet still teeming with life. the change in humidity when coming back outside made my camera fog up for a good few minutes. it was funny, really. afterwards, i took advantage of the parts of mammoth cave national park that light does touch -- i got soaked in a rainstorm but seeing the green river and having a butterfly land on my finger were things i will always remember. wet and cold, i went on a second tour of a different part of the cave by lantern light in the evening. we saw cave graffiti and even a bat.

i left that area and moved on to the cumberland gap. it was the day before my 22nd birthday and i was in 3 states at once (for the second time this year). “salt seeking buffalo, moccasin clad warriors, dreaming pioneer, battling civil war soldiers. each was here in the historic cumberland gap, and now so are you.” [punctuation added] has got to be one of my favorite signs i’ve ever seen. it conveys the history in simple terms, which is the way i like things. it’s endlessly meaningful without being pretentious.

on my birthday, i toured the forbidden caverns near the smokies, then hiked some of the alum cave bluffs trail. i wish i could have done the whole thing, but i was short on time, as i wanted to be back in charleston by the evening to celebrate my birthday with my parents.

the day after, i slept in for once, went to the angel oak with melissa, and saw brian wilson and the gang perform all of pet sounds with callie. it was nice but there were so many empty seats that it was a little sad.

started my travels again, going back to the smokies area but stopping in blowing rock first and then going down the blue ridge parkway. the next day, i went to pigeon forge and rode an alpine coaster and finally did a somewhat substantial hike in the smokies -- charlies bunion. i saw a mother bear and her 2 babies and was alone on the trail with a beautiful deer. after that hike, i did the tail of the dragon drive and went to fontana dam, where the fog along the water made for an otherworldly feeling in my heart.

came back to charleston once again, but not before swimming around looking glass falls and feeling that this is what summer should look like. also made a stop at the carl sandburg home nhs.

started my drive back to dc for the last time, but took the scenic route -- south of the border, luray caverns, and the hardest hike i’ve ever done over in shenandoah. the famed old rag. it was a rainy tuesday, and the rocks were slippery. i didn’t see a single other person. i clutched those rocks for dear life at times, but i made that 10 mile hike and it was invigorating. i miss getting grimy in the forest.

that whole trip took me 3,755 miles around the eastern us with my ipod, 60s on 6, and phlash phelps’s voice in the morning as my soundtrack.

acknowledged in my head that it was nearly time to the leave the library, a home of mine for the past three and a half years. i told people the date of my departure and it inched closer despite my desire for time to stop progressing.

had a tour of the towers of the national cathedral. it’s not something many people have done and i’m glad to have seen the not-so-showy parts of the structure, along with a closer-up look at the showy parts we know and love.

had a visit from lauren -- we went to nando’s, the portrait gallery, and thrift shops with paige. i wish it would have lasted longer.

went to six flags with my friend from work, where we rode every ride we wanted to. it was carefree, even though my pants ripped.

my final day at the library inevitably came and went. instagram follows and facebook friends increased as i knew this was now the only way to see the people i had known for so long. i got choked up, and i’m choked up even writing this. to say i miss it is to put it very insignificantly. i have left some of myself there.

went back to new york for a few days, where i met up with my father so that we could see a concert in central park celebrating the greenwich village folk scene of the 60s. the mc was richard barone, who we’d met 2 years prior when he gave us a tour of greenwich village. on that trip, i saw theodore roosevelt’s birthplace (thank god for him, sincerely), the cloisters, staten island again, the seinfeld restaurant, and even coney island. we took the bus back to dc and drove my ‘97 ford escort back to charleston.

for the few days i had in charleston before moving to orlando to work for disney, i hung out with people like old times. trivia, the beach, apartments. the circuit.

i really fuckin moved to orlando, i guess. i moved in with 7 other people. we resort-hopped before we got our entrance passes to the parks. i felt mostly unmoved by the orientations that they try so hard to brainwash us with. i took a huge paycut coming here.

i started working at the food and wine festival. goddamn, i miss working at epcot. i saw the groovin alps play their bavarian percussion music and i poured beer and served lobster rolls and korma chicken and lentil stew and everything in between. i met dozens of beautiful people, some of whom are gone back now to from where they came. but i’m still here.

i mentioned earlier that paul simon announced back in june that his final concert would be in queens in late september. i bought a ticket the day they went on sale and was determined to find a way to attend. i did. i flew to new york for a few days -- came into penn station from newark, walked around to greenwich village and the brooklyn bridge and went to the museum of the moving image late in the evening on a friday when it was free. the next day, i visited the queens museum in flushing-meadows corona park (where the concert was also being held) and was in line for the show by 11:30am. i waited for like 8 hours in all, but i was front row. that final paul simon show (which we all know isn’t really the final one, but it did have a certain finality to it) was transformative for me, paul, and everyone else in the audience. i saw lorde, jimmy fallon, and john mulaney. i cried and was recorded and tapped along and admired the performances of “the cool, cool river” and “the obvious child” and every other goddamn song he played. i stuck around as long as i could. the next day, i flew back to orlando and returned to work, but i felt different.

lived the typical life of a college program participant: work, go to the parks, work, go to the parks, sleep.

voted somewhere along the way and was overjoyed that democrats took back the house.

went to st augustine with sarah

eventually, the food and wine festival ended and i was transferred to port orleans riverside, where i currently am. it’s awful but i’m alive.

spent thanksgiving, christmas, and every other holiday at work. it wasn’t really a big deal but it was obviously depressing.

at the beginning of december, broke down and bought a plane ticket back to dc. i had to pick up a poster from the anthem (a music venue), anyway. i stayed with paige and saw my old work friends and just had a good time. goddamn, it was cold, but it was worth it. i finally was able to tour the department of the interior and and i went to theodore roosevelt island for the first time since like freshman year. we even saw zoo lights and went to the christmas pop-up bar on 7th street again.

played basketball one time lmao

played jackbox countless times with my roommates and we made a few trips to jellyrolls, one of the best parts of disney world. i love to go there and sing and hear the piano.

spent new year’s eve at jellyrolls, coincidentally, where i stole a noisemaker and we all wore hats and sang “auld lang syne” when the clock struck midnight, just as you’re supposed to do.

laughed and cried while going through so many large life changes but still understanding that there is always some sort of constant in your life

drove more than i think i ever have before

went to several of the concerts they had for the food and wine festival -- saw people like air supply, starship, and the plain white t’s

listened to countless hours of music -- i think my most listened-to artists were springsteen, dylan, paul simon, maybe david cassidy, old crow medicine show, and lorde.

song of the year: “fare thee well (dink’s song),” marcus mumford and oscar isaac (from inside llewyn davis). it’s an incredible song to travel to.

was always conflicted about working for disney, but really became disgusted with the corporation the more i worked here. i will be happy to not work for them anymore when the time comes because it makes me so uncomfortable to be employed by an entity that doesn’t give a shit about its employees and milks every single fucking penny that it can out of its customers, all under the guise of being giving and magical by using terminology such as “interactions,” “magical moments,” and “guests”

considered my options after this is all over

loved the national park service and even wrote a capstone on it

2018 was the most eventful year of my life. i am not in school for the first time that i can remember; i have a degree. i travelled to more of the us than i ever knew really existed, i saw incredible concerts, and i met some truly wonderful people. but of course, the difficult moves that come along with a year like this were depressing. i knew i would be completely heartbroken when i had to leave the library back in august, but i didn’t realize how sorry i would also be to see my roommates go back to their homes at the end of their tenure at disney. it’s been 2 days, but i miss being able to hang out with them. to gain all the life experience i did, it was necessary to lose some really great parts of my old life. and that blew. but you get over it.

this year in review has taken me so long to write because i had so much to include that it seemed overwhelming to try to articulate it all. i think back to when i would wait until the night before a paper was due to start it, and i feel the same way. but the power in finishing it and having something tangible that points to a certain time in your life and explains the way you felt at that moment is like nothing else. even if the paper you write is shit, it never seems as bad (at least, to me) when you return to read through it a year or two later. it’s your thoughts set in stone, frozen in time. it’s a nice reminder. and i really enjoy writing these posts and i generally like what i write and how i say things, despite the inevitable procrastination in doing so.

i always think of “auld lang syne” when i do a year in review. sure, it’s a standard song for the new year and these year in reviews are written on or around the new year. but to write this, i have to think back to days gone by, before the year even started. and i get this feeling in my stomach of nostalgia and wistfulness (i’ve written about it before, i know) reflecting on the good ol days of these past 365 days and the times before them. we live in strange times right now, especially during what has become a two-week long (and counting!) partial government shutdown, but the memories of the warm past and the dreams of a better future are always going to be around to steady your head. without the abstract, how would we get to the concrete?

“we all cherish our children’s futures. and we are all mortal.”

#about me #me #a year in review #2018

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prorevenge · 7 years

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Smells like teen primadonna spirit.

Bit of background. My little brother was in a high school band, and although I was never part of it, I used to drive them around to gigs and occasionally to the studio. I could drive, and if I helped my little brother out, it meant I got to borrow our Mother's car for a while, so it wasn't entirely altruistic.

As well as lil bro (guitar), there was also Kev (vocals), Bob (guitar) and Dave (drums).

This was in the late '90s, I was about 19-20 during these events, Lil' Bro is 2 years younger than me. They were a rock/grunge band. Kev was very much the ringleader. His Dad worked for a local radio station at a town about 100 miles away, and Kev would often insist on making decisions for the band because his Dad's background trumped everything. His Dad was a producer. Mostly all happy times, although Kev would often pick on Dave, and drummers in general. "What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer." Etc.

Partly, Kev just didn't feel that drumming required any talent, and partly he didn't like that his younger sister had a bit of a crush on Drummer Dave. Mostly he was just a Primadonna knobhead.

Drummer Dave was an exceptionally amiable and easy-going guy, and took it all in good spirit.

Dave also had a parrot (whom we'll call Chekhov's Parrot) at his place, and sometimes when they'd be practising in the garage there, Kev would complain that he could hear that sodding parrot over their music (highly unlikely), and would, whenever the chance arose, try to upset the parrot by flipping it off, rattling its cage or just making sudden movements toward it. He was a bit of a dick.

One sunny afternoon, Kev had told the band that he was going to visit his Dad (divorced parents), and be at his Dad's 50th birthday party, and there'd be loads of music industry people there, and he'd get the chance to tell them about the band and maybe even play them a track or two, and hand out some demo CDs. Maybe they'd get some airplay or even a record deal with a proper label!

But the catch was: they had to fire Dave and get a new drummer. Lil' Bro and Bob talked it over and decided they'd rather get a new vocalist, and they decided to call Drummer Dave, tell him what was going on, and that they would pretend they had fired him to appease Kev, but if it came to it, they'd both refuse to cooperate unless Dave was fully reinstated.

I was supposed to help in the drummer replacement by putting an ad in the local paper, but I can be forgetful sometimes, and I just never remembered. Anyhow, it was getting close to the big birthday, and I had paid out of my own pocket for a bunch of blank CD-Rs to put the band's demo on. We cut about 50 CDs in the end, for Kev to hand out to, or play in front of all these music industry people. All cases nicely labelled, and with the name of the band scrawled on the actual disk.

We handed them over to Kev a week before his departure for the big party. The band had one more practice session, at Kev's garage, before he went. At this session, my brother was helping clean up their McDonald's detritus, and upon opening the outside bin (that's a trashcan, for Americans), he saw... about 50 CD-Rs with the band's name on them. WTF was going on? He didn't confront Kev, but showed Bob what he'd found. Bob said he needed the bathroom and went inside, to Kev's room, where he found Kev's packed bags with about 10 CDs, just with Kev's name scribbled on them. Kev was going to fuck them over.

Bob took one of the CDs, stuffed it in his jacket and he and Lil' Bro made their way to the car, so I could drive them home.

They told me what had happened, and we put Kev's CD on in the car. It sounded less grunge and more "Take That". I guess Kev ran the numbers and thought he'd have a better shot at fame and fortune in a boy band. We hatched a plan, and we needed Dave to make it work. Instead of going home, we went to find Drummer Dave, and filled him in on the latest developments.

We recorded his parrot squawking, and all of us squawking "fuck you, Kev" and suchlike. We got a good solid minute of this, and then looped it, mixed it and put some of Dave's drums in for good measure.

We went and got the same brand of CD-R that Bob had taken from Kev's luggage, and duplicated it. We cut 10 copies.

Now we just needed to plant the CD-Rs in Kev's luggage. On the afternoon that his Dad was picking him up, I took them to Kev's house to wave him goodbye. He was a little surprised to see us, but figured we wanted to make sure he went through with the plan to showcase the band.

Bob distracted him with a masterful "I love you, man!" speech, Lil' bro went to say hi to Kev's little sister, and I went inside for a piss. We were both looking for Kev's luggage. Lil' Bro distracted Kev's little sister, and I did the swap. Kev never tried contacting the band after he came back, and nobody even tried to contact him. An ad was placed in the paper for a new singer (previous members need not apply).

A good five years later, Drummer Dave encountered Kev's little sister, who was able to give some closure on the matter. Their Dad had called everyone's attention fairly early on in the party, to say how proud he was of his boy, and now they would hear his son's band. This was in a hired hall in a big hotel with a DJ.

Kev was called to the stage, and explained that his band couldn't get it's act together, sadly, so he'd brought along some of his solo artist material. The DJ dutifully cued up the CD, but didn't play it. He'd shrugged and asked "you sure you wanna play this?", but was forcefully told to play it. So he did. They got maybe 10 seconds of "hmmm. Well this is an odd way to start a record" looks from the crowd, followed by a bewildered "when does the music start?" expression. Soon, it became very clear that no music would ever start, and this was just a parrot, some drums, and a few squawked statements about Kev's integrity as a human being.

Kev apparently fled the stage and disappeared for an hour or so before anyone saw him again, during which time he'd found that Every. Single. One. Of his demo CDs was filled with parrot squawks and suggestions that his taste in pornography was somewhat 'niche'. Some of his Dad's buddies apparently still call him the "Little Squawker" to this day, nearly two decades later. Final "where are they now?" bit:

Drummer Dave: briefly hooked up with Kev's little sister, but quite a few years later, and it didn't really work out. He is a fireman now, and married with two kids.

Kev's Little Sister: She has a girlfriend now. And last I saw of her, she was back on break from university and had developed quite the taste for tequila.

Lil Bro: is now a web developer for some faceless marketing firm. Married with a kid.

Bob: Moved away a long time ago. Nobody is in touch with him anymore.

Kev: last we heard, he was working at some IT recruitment firm, and spending his weekends go-karting.

Chekhov's Parrot: apparently still alive.

(source) (story by perpetual_C000009A)

#pro revenge #by perpetual_C000009A #prorevenge #pro #revenge #revenge stories #revenge storm

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alia15 · 4 years

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THE day. Part 2.

Peacocks.

My wedding venue is swarming with them.

Well, those, and chickens and turkeys. And roosters.

The Milleridge Cottage is on a larger property on Long Island that’s been around for many, MANY years and also has a restaurant, an adorable little village (shops, a bakery, a florist) and yes: a farm.

When our limo bus pulled up to the cottage on Friday, November 15, my bridal party was greeted by all the wildlife which I’ll admit is an interesting and hilarious scene on your wedding day. Also, not mentioned in Part 1? The weather. Bright, sunny, and warm for mid-November. I refused to check the weather the entire week of the wedding (you can’t control it so why bother looking?) and it ended up being an absolutely perfect fall day. I greeted the turkeys, walked into the venue and the scene immediately took my breath away: I loved The Milleridge the second we stepped foot inside to look at it as a potential option for our big day, and loved it even more each time I visited after that. Now? Seeing it all set up for my wedding day? It was everything I envisioned and more. I made my way up the beautiful staircase and waited in the bridal suite for my groom and his groomsmen to arrive.

There were those butterflies again.

There was so much commotion downstairs that I wasn’t able to be a part of as I was in hiding (#FOMO), but the time finally came for me to head down those stairs and meet my soon-to-be-husband at the bottom. Remember the crazy thoughts in my head from Part 1 of this post? They came back as I imagined myself tumbling down those stairs after tripping over my very long, large dress.

I walked REALLY carefully. And slowly.

Leo was at the bottom of the staircase and in front of him stood a crowd of our family and best friends; standing there like paparazzi with their iPhones up and the biggest smiles plastered on their faces. Our photographers and videographer captured my every move. What a scene. I eventually made my way down (without falling! win!) and tapped Leo on the shoulder to, ya know, say what’s up before the biggest moment of our lives.

We both joked that while we loved this moment, it certainly wasn’t a private one. This was some of our audience (plus about 30 more people, lol):

The next few hours (yes, plural) were spent taking all our photos and thankfully, we were able to do so outside. If you know me or follow me on social media, you know how much I love a good sunset, and the universe did me a solid and gave us an amazing one that night.

It was crazy to think at this point -- after SEVERAL hours -- that the main event hadn’t even started yet. After wrapping up pictures with everyone, we headed inside.

I went back up to the bridal suite to hide for the second time that day.

The venue got louder and louder as it filled up with guests, and all I heard were the sounds of a large CROWD. My heart raced. I fixed my hair and re-applied my lip gloss 37 times. I stood up. I paced. I sat back down. I didn’t want to look at my phone because I knew it would overwhelm me, so it was just me up there with my restless thoughts. The day had been so perfect already; I just wanted it to continue. A few things swirling in my mind:

Would the reverend show up? (He did)

The venue was confusing to find; were people going to know to go to the cottage and not the restaurant? (They did) (And whoever didn’t, eventually figured it out)

Did anyone in my life get incredibly sick that day and have to miss the wedding? (No)

Were our young nieces and nephews going to have meltdowns and not walk down the aisle? (quite the opposite; they were amazing)

Was there any drama? ANYONE WHO CRASHED OUR WEDDING? Is everything OK down there? WHAT’S HAPPENING??! (shut up, crazy)

Eventually, it was time. All of our guests were situated for the ceremony and our bridal party was lined up downstairs. And things could not have gone smoother: no one tripped, no one objected to our nuptials (lol), the kiddos were perfectly behaved and cooperative, and our reverend was a HUGE hit (shout out to the hilarious and charismatic Rev. Sica!). It was a beautiful ceremony complete with an amazing string quartet, and I swore I felt the love in the room before I even entered it.

We were officially husband and wife. And it felt fantastic.

After our relatively brief ceremony, I felt like I was floating on a cloud. We headed back up to the bridal suite to get a quick breather before cocktail hour began; something my bridal attendant had recommended we do and I am SO glad we listened. Normally if I’m anxious I lose my appetite, but Leo and I enjoyed our own private cocktail hour and ate the INCREDIBLE spread they provided for us. Every few seconds it would hit us.

Holy crap, we’re married!

My bridal attendant bustled my dress, and it was time to join the party. I could NOT wait to see everyone.

The magic continued as we greeted everyone at our cocktail hour and took in the whole scene. It was surreal and a total out-of-body experience. You spend SO much time and energy planning a wedding and you focus on all the details -- large and small -- and then you’re there just seeing it all come together and come to life. I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that EVERYTHING looked and felt the way I wanted it to that day. I was overjoyed and overwhelmed, in a good way. So many people had given me the advice to “take it all in” and “enjoy every moment” and I’m really happy to say I did exactly that.

The good times intensified as we did our official entrance to our reception (”Let’s Dance” by David Bowie....come onnnnn now!) followed by *THE* most epic dance party of all time. One of my best friends, Carl, was our MC and he and our DJ, Eddie, brought the house down the entire night with an amazing mix of songs old and new. I did not leave that dance floor except the one time I changed dresses -- you know I had to do a costume change on ‘em!

I could go on and on with the details but instead I’ll just share some incredible highlights from our reception:

Our first dance: Leo was nervous about it (it’s nerve-racking to have all eyes on you and he doesn’t exactly love to dance) but in the moment, nothing else mattered and no one else was even in the room. (Song: Precious Love by James Morrison)

After that, I danced with my Grandmother; a really special moment that I will cherish forever. It was really emotional and beautiful; especially as the whole family (and Leo!) joined us at the end.

The speeches! My brother Mike was my “man of honor” and Leo’s sister Rina was our “best woman” and both of them gave GREAT and hilarious toasts (with cameos from all my brother-in-laws). My dad gave an amazing one, too: let’s just say he made a joke about getting to second base that got a huge laugh (Leo’s a baseball coach. lol).

Birthday celebrations! It was my brother’s 40th birthday that day and my mother-in-law’s was the following day, so we were able to sing to them and give them their own special cupcakes and candles to blow out.

The father/daughter & mother/son dances.

Our live painter! He set up shop in the corner of the room and painted our first dance and added our families to the portrait (I’ll include the photo at the bottom of the post!). I waited until the end of the night to go look at it and was genuinely stunned.

Ending the night with two perfect songs: (I’ve Had) the Time of My Life -- from one of my favorite movies of all time, obvi -- and then my friend Pat requested the grand finale/encore: “Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays” by ‘NSYNC. (This is his trademark and is known to play this song when we’re out even in the summer)

Speaking of the end of the night, we had a McDonald’s cart rolled in around 11:15 and the guests went crazy for it. Nothing like stuffing your face at a wedding and then ending the night with a greasy cheeseburger and fries. Leo had it for breakfast the next morning.

Aside from the hotel’s fire alarm going off around 4am (yes, really) it was a perfect day from start to finish. Now, almost six months later, I find my mind wandering to the memories of November 15 when I’m feeling especially low or down in the dumps. I look at the pictures often and the various videos make me instantly happy. People told me during/after the wedding how insanely happy I looked, and it was genuine. I was. I am.

It’s not hyperbole: my wedding day was the best day of my life. I got to marry my perfect match while surrounded by every single human in my life that I love endlessly. I got to have a great dance party, eat incredible food, all while surrounded by a beautiful venue with all the personal touches we had worked on for the nine months prior.

The pandemic might have prevented us from going on our Italian honeymoon, but that’s okay. We’ll get there someday. I’m just eternally grateful and relieved that we were able to have all our other big wedding moments (engagement, shower, bachelor/ette parties, rehearsal dinner, wedding!) all in the same year -- making 2019 really hard to top.

Thanks for letting me share the story of our big day with you all!

#wedding #wedding day #bride #groom #celebration #wedding planning #party #family #love #marriage

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didiletyouknooow · 7 years

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22. Dark Necessities

Happy New Year to you all! I hope you had a nice New Years Eve! The story of Eileen & Josh continues. I hope you like the new chapter. Feel free to give feedback :) Have a nice weekend! ____________

Back in Berlin. It was already two weeks ago that Josh and I spent New Years Eve at Flea’s house in Malibu. It was a great evening, a great night. I think I never felt happier before on New Years Eve. I was happy that Josh and I discussed everything. The last days we spent together walking along the beach, walking through Venice, watching people passing by while sitting at a café. We cooked or just spent some time in the sun. For four more days we were this cheesy couple I never wanted to be but was still a bit jealous of. Finally the day had come when I had to fly back to my current hometown. Josh brought me to the airport and we needed some time to finally say goodbye to each other. Yes it was hard but we could do it – I knew it. We had four more weeks until the Superbowl. Afterwards another four weeks until I would come back to L.A. We promised to write and skype on a regular basis. At least it could work out until Josh would start touring in February. I counted the days until we would meet again for a longer time in the end of February.

Berlin welcomed me back with a cold and snowy winter. Everything was full of snow and although I loved snow I hated it at the same time because I had to wait for the subway or tram very often. Pure hate.

Josh and I kept our promise to skype. While he had some free time until he would hit the road again in a few weeks I was very busy with working. My boss gave me many tasks to finish until I would leave. So I had to hurry up to finish the project I started one year ago. So most of the time it was me calling him in the night. The different time zone didn’t play into our hands. “You look very tired” Josh said while I was sitting on my bed, the laptop on my lap. “I am very tired. It’s 1am” “We don’t have to skype if you’re tired and want to have some sleep” he let me know – in the sweetest voice he had. “No Josh….I want to talk to you, you know? I want to see you and just want to spend some time with you” “Well actually you spend some time with your laptop” he joked. “At least this is what is on your lap. Not me” “Haha, very funny. Did you have a clown for breakfast?” “No…I had some pancakes” “Lucky you, I only had a toast” “In two weeks we will enjoy the best breakfast you’ve ever seen in New York!” “Really? Oh well, I hope I won’t fall asleep because of my jet lag” “I will stop you from doing so” he laughed. “Come on Eileen, no one is falling asleep when there are pancakes waiting to be eaten” “You’re right”

We joked a bit and Josh told me about his week. He went to a Lakers game with Flea, helped his father in the garden and met some old friends. Wow I wished I would’ve been with him - in sunny California instead of cold Berlin. “Sounds like real fun” “It was, but, you know….” he stopped as if he had to think about his next sentence. “I really missed you” “I missed you too.” Silence.

“Why is growing up so hard? I mean 10 years ago the only thing I was worried about was which college I would attend” “Times are changing. Even Bob Dylan knew it before” Josh said in a wise voice. “He was so right….” “Oh ehm by the way, what about your job applications?” “Rejections” I said in a sad voice. “Really?” I nodded. “I’m so sorry for you….but Eileen, please, listen to me, you’ll find….” And then the connection broke. I saw a freezing picture of Josh in my laptop. Well this was a symbol for my current life I thought. But I had to shut up because I was so happy being with Josh that I should forget about the other problems in my life. But I couldn’t. “….you know?” he said. The connection was back again! “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you” I told him. He sighed, crossed his legs so I could see his ringed socks and kept talking. “I said you’ll find a job. No matter what, I’ll support you!” “Thank you. It’s like you’re the only person who understands my situation” “Why?” “I don’t know….Lara says I should stop worrying. My parents say I should write more job applications and look for jobs outside of L.A. My brother says I should chill and wait” “Hm, I know how you feel about it. You’re worried that you won’t find a job to start when you’re back in L.A. But Eileen….look, I know you don’t want to hear it but….it’s not that we don’t have money for a living” he said and he seemed to hope that I would get what he wanted to tell me. I sighed. “I know you don’t want to hear it….” he repeated. “Josh” I said and paused for a few seconds to think about how to tell him. “It’s cute that you offer me this opportunity but….you know, I want my own life, have a job for a living and don’t be dependent on somebody. Please, don’t get me wrong but….I just want to be independent. I’m 28, I should find a job and a place to live” “You’re right. But….before you have to move to Nevada or Arizona, we’ll find a solution. We’ll figure it out” he let me know. It was so sweet seeing Josh caring about me. I didn’t know what to say so I just said “Thanks”. “So and your friends are visiting you on the weekend?” he changed the topic. “Yes, they’re coming. I’m a bit excited, I haven’t seen them in a long time” “I guess it will be great. I’m also leaving for the weekend.” “What are you doing?” “Olivia’s boyfriend owns a little house in Santa Barbara, I’ll join them over the weekend to help papering some rooms” “You’re such a craftsman, aren’t you?” I laughed. “Well, sometimes” “Oh man, I’m so looking forward to get some sleep so I have to hung up now” I let him know. “Okay, I wish you sweet dreams and don’t worry too much, okay?” “I try my best” “Bye honey. I miss you, I kiss you” he waved in the camera when I did the same. He was such a great boyfriend. The greatest I’ve known.

On Friday I picked up my two best friends from college at the airport. They planned to do a trip through Europe. One weekend in Berlin, a few days in Hamburg, afterwards they would travel to Prague, Rome and London. “Hello again little girl” Jacob said when we hugged each other. Jacob was the first guy I’ve met in college. Together we attended a course about the middle ages which we both hated. He was such a nice, handsome and funny guy. I think if he wouldn’t be gay maybe he would be the perfect boyfriend and I would’ve fall for him. “How are you two?” I wanted to know. Madison, my other best friend from college - a girl with a black long bob and bangs - sighed. “It was a great flight, we had some great dinner in the clouds but the landing was a bit rough.” “Now we’re here, so everything’s fine” Jacob said while we were driving to my flat. Lara offered me her car for picking them up and I thanked her so much. I rarely saw her in the last days because most of the time she was at her boyfriends place. Yes, she was deeply in love with Leon. Together we made the perfectly deeply-in-love-girl-living-community.

I showed them our flat and afterwards we had some dinner at a nice little restaurant in Berlin Mitte. I recognized that Jacob and Madison liked Berlin. They even wrote a list of all the things they wanted me to show them. Well, this could be interesting I thought while reading it. “We only have three days” I told them. “Well, you can do it” they said.

So we did some sight seeing in Berlin and I took them to every important place of the city. While Madison liked the Brandenburg Gate Jacob preferred the Holocaust memorial. When I was showing them around it reminded me a bit of the day I showed Josh around. It was already five months ago. I didn’t know that five months later he would be a very special person in my life and I would miss him while he had to go back to L.A. “So, Eileen, tell us about the guy you’re dating” Madison said while we had some drinks. “He’s a nice guy. He’s the best I’ve ever known. Oh and his name is Josh” “We’re so sorry that we both were absent at Livia’s party. We’d like to meet him!” “Oh you will meet him when I’m back” “And what does he do? Is it right that he plays in the Red Hot Chili Peppers?” Madison wanted to know. “Yes, he does” “And you didn’t know?” Jacob was wondering. “Ehm, first I didn’t.” “Crazy world” “But he’s from Los Angeles, right?” Madison asked. “He is” I grinned. “Wow, you’re so lucky” she said. Her boyfriend lived in New York for a very long time because of work so they had a long distance relationship for four years. “I hope he’s hot” Jacob joked after ordering another cocktail. “Jacob!” I laughed. “He’s my boyfriend, okay?” “Sure….and I’m happy for you” he smiled.

“So, I’ve heard about this famous club here in Berlin. I think it’s called Berghain?” Jacob changed the topic. “Oh no!” I started laughing. “No?” “You don’t want to go there, don’t you?” “We want to!” both grinned at me. “Why? It’s such a weird, scary place” “Did you go there before?” “No but….Lara told me some stories. It’s very dark with crazy people and you hardly get into the club” “Oh we want to try it!” Jacob said. “Are you joining us?” “No! Never!” The “Berghain” was the most famous night club in Berlin. It was famous for his crazy design and stories people tell about. Many international DJs played gigs there, but mostly it was electronic and techno music. “Why don’t you join us?” “I don’t like the music. It’s not my type” “Booooring!” Jacob let me know. He was a total hipster wearing a red beanie, skinny jeans and an oversized sweater to his boots. “But, you can try it. I bet they won’t let you in” I supposed. “Why? Are we too boring?” “No but….I don’t know. I think they don’t let in many tourists” “Well, at least we give it a try” So Jacob and Madison left for the club after we paid our bills. I went back home for some sleep.

The next morning I was surprised that they were laying in their beds. When I fell asleep they weren’t at home yet so they must’ve had some luck at the entrance. I made some breakfast and finally waited for them to wake up. At 12pm Madison went into the kitchen. “Good morning!” I said smiling. “Morning” she mumbled and ruffled her hair. “So, how was your night at the Berghain?” “It was great! Really!” she said. “But I will never ever go there again. The people are so crazy. You have to be careful not walking into a dark room!” “Oh well….I told you so” I couldn’t stop but laughed. “Yes but….never thought that it would be SO crazy there” “But did you have a great time?” “We had….we stayed until 6am. Some people entered the club at that time” she told me. Yes, the club was famous for its parties all over the weekend, the whole day until Monday morning.

Later that day we watched some movies and just chilled in my bed. When “Harry & Sally” ended Jacob picked his phone. “How’s your boyfriends name? Josh?” “Yes, why?” “Oh ehm” he said but stopped because he typed on his phone. I didn’t pay much attention on it and instead went to the kitchen to get us some drinks. When I came back Madison and Jacob were looking at Jacob’s phone. “What are you doing?” “Wow Eileen” Madison said. “He’s very cute. He’s absolutely not my type, but he’s so cute in what he does and says” she let me know. “Ehm, who?” “Josh!” “Okay….why do you think so?” “We googled him!” Jacob said as if it was the most normal thing on earth. “Like you did I guess” “Ehm no, I didn’t google him” They booth looked at me with a shocked face. “You’re lying!” Madison was surprised. “No. I’m not” “Come on Eileen, we live in the 21st century. You HAVE TO google your new boyfriend” “I don’t have to” I let them know and drank my coke. “Wow, you’re very old school” Jacob commented. “Why should I google him? I know him in person, I don’t have to find out some crappy shit about him on the internet” “Crappy shit?” “Yeah, you know….people who write shit about him” “No…I mean ehm, maybe you can find out information about his ex girlfriends or something like that” Madison informed me. “Well….if I wanted to find out about it, I would’ve looked for it, don’t you think?” “Maybe, maybe….” I kept drinking my coke. Honestly, I didn’t want to know anything about Josh and Mia. The information I already knew were enough.

“I just found a picture of him and his ex!” Jacob suddenly shouted. Madison looked at his phone mesmerized. “Wow, she looks totally different to you” she then told me. “She has a dark brown long bob and some bangs. Just like me” I DIDN’T WANT TO KNOW IT! “Oh and here is another picture….there she has longer hair and some grown out blonde wisps” Jacob kept informing me. “Good for her” I said and left for the bathroom.

When Madison and Jacob fell asleep I laid there totally awake. I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t know why but I had to think about Josh’s ex girlfriend. Mia. I even knew her name but never looked her up. Jacob just needed some seconds until finding two pictures of them on the internet. It was so easy nowadays - especially when your boyfriend plays in a famous band. I couldn’t explain why but I HAD to check her out. So I took my phone and opened the browser to type “Josh Klinghoffer girlfriend” into google. Oh my, what was I doing?

Some seconds later google showed me what I (didn’t) want to see. Josh and Mia. There were two pictures that caught my eyes. I clicked on it like in a trance. The first picture showed him with Mia at kind of an event. Or maybe a birthday party? After scrolling down the page I found out that Bob Forrest posted this picture on his Facebook account. It must’ve been at his birthday party. I looked up the date of the picture. Summer 2009. It must’ve been in the first months of their relationship. They looked very happy in this pic. She wore a black shirt and a necklace. I fantasized about Josh giving it to her. They were sitting at a bench in a garden I guessed. She had her head on his shoulder while smiling in the camera. I stared at the picture for quite some time before I clicked back to the results to search for the second one. I found it. It showed Josh and Mia hugging and laughing. He smiled at her with a special look in his eyes. I couldn’t describe it but he looked very happy. It was from 2011. Just one year before they broke up. After looking at the pictures I was totally awake. I couldn’t sleep. Instead I thought about Josh and his ex. I knew they were together for three years. I even knew that she cheated on him but….he must’ve loved her very much. This look on his face was so special. I had the feeling that he haven’t looked like this in the photos we took of us in Los Angeles.

“What’s wrong Eileen?” Madison asked the next morning while we breakfasted in my kitchen. The two had to leave in a few hours. “Nothing” I said because I didn’t want to make a scene or spread a bad mood. I was happy that my friends were there, so I shouldn’t think about pictures of my boyfriend and his ex. “No!” Jacob spoke with his mouth full. “There IS something wrong with you.” I sighed. I didn’t have a chance to pretend that everything was fine. “Okay” I said. “It’s because of the picture you found yesterday.” “The pic of Josh and his ex?” Jacob asked wondering. I nodded. “But…what’s wrong with it? They broke up, he’s with you, so what’s the problem?” Madison wanted to know. “Well” I started explaining them. “I looked them up, too. And….I don’t know why it’s bothering me but…it’s how he looks at her” I sighed. “I don’t get your point” Madison said. “It’s the way he looks at her in this specific picture where they look at each other and she’s laughing. It must be backstage at a Chilis concert” Jacob resolved. “Right” I agreed with him. “They way he looks at her….he doesn’t look like this in one of the pictures we took in L.A.” “He’s just a guy….maybe he thought of sex and…” Jacob tried to explain me. “Eileen!” Madison interrupted us. “When did you change into this drama queen? I’ve never seen you like this! In the past you always thought realistic and rational about dating and relationships. You’ve never asked yourself why the guy looks this way or why he behaves like this….you’ve just shrugged off and went on with life if the guy didn’t want you. When did you change? And why?” “I don’t know….when did I change? Maybe after my ex lied and cheated on me? Maybe it was so horrible and painful for me that I lost my belief in love? Maybe I lost my naive belief that everything will be fine in the end….it doesn’t. That’s what I thought one year ago and that’s what I think now. Josh crossed my life and I think I’m just afraid of losing a person I’m in love with again. I know it’s different now than when I was with Steve but….you’ll never know” “Okay I get it but….why do you look at old pictures and ask yourself why he looks at her like that? It doesn’t matter!” ”Because she thinks he doesn’t love her the way he loved his ex, am I right?” Jacob boiled it. “But why? I mean….seriously, why? Please, tell me!” Madison couldn’t follow me. “I don’t know” I sighed. “Seriously Eileen, what will change if Josh and you break up? I know it sounds hard but…you have to remind yourself that nothing will change unless you let it change your life. Sure it would mean heartache but….you are a strong person, a strong woman. Don’t make yourself dependent on someone, okay?”

She was right. It’s what I told Josh before. I didn’t want to make myself dependent on him. But what Madison meant was something different: I should stop making myself emotional dependent on someone so that it could ruin my life if the person disappears. It sounded hard, but she was right. It was the truth. She always lived her own live in L.A. while her boyfriend lived his life in New York. She managed to be independent. During my relationship with Steve I was independent when I studied abroad but when I came back I changed into this drama queen who questioned everything about her life, her relationship, her boyfriend. Maybe it was because I’ve already knew that we would break up. Before my relationship with Steve I was relaxed and chilled while dating a guy. If the guy didn’t text me back or didn’t want another date I forgot about him. But I think I knew what was the reason why I behaved like this: I wasn’t in love. But I was in love with Steve and now with Josh. If you’re falling in love you make yourself weak. So I was just afraid of getting hurt again. I think now I couldn’t handle it. Josh was too special to lose him.

“I think I have to focus on my own life, get more confident and stop questioning everything, thanks Madison” I heard myself saying. I surprised myself. “That’s my girl!” she laughed and we high-fived. Later I brought the two to the train station so they could take the train to Hamburg. They wanted to party at the “Reeperbahn”, a street famous for its nightlife like bars, cafes and strip clubs.

In the next days I tried to distract me from thinking about Josh’s ex Mia. I mean, why did it bother me seeing these pictures? It’s from the past. They broke up nearly two years ago. He was single and we met five months ago. Sounds like a real lovestory, right? I had to remind myself that I HAVE to forget about it. Didn’t he tell me that Mia was engaged now? “Eileen, are you joining us tonight? We want to order some Chinese food and watch old movies?” Lara asked me at that Tuesday night. “Sure, I join you” I answered. It was always fun hanging up with Lara and Leon. They were a very cute couple but they weren’t cheesy and didn’t make you feel like the third wheel. Currently Leon was doing his Ph.D. in biology so he worked at a university. Lara and I attended one of his lectures the other week. He was a very intelligent, nice and gentle man. I was happy for her that she found someone like him. But the more I spent time with them the more it reminded me of Josh and me and how much I missed him. I have to admit to myself that it was a very hard and rough time. I never thought that it would be that difficult for me but there were certain things happening in my life at the moment that I wanted to share with Josh or I wished he would be by my side – but he couldn’t.

I got more and more rejections for jobs. Sometimes I cried myself into sleep because I thought that I would never find a job. It was a ridiculous search. My parents were right when they told me that finding a job with a Master degree in history isn’t easy. I should think about my decision what to study they said. But I didn’t. I wanted to study history so I did. Well, I’m counting the cost now, I thought.

The situation was so desperate that I decided to apply for a job outside of L.A. But there weren’t many jobs to apply for. I applied for two in San Francisco, one in San Diego, Fresno, Bakersfield, San Jose and even in Sacramento. Then I found a job advertisement for a job in Roseburg, Oregon. I knew that it would be far away, very far away to be honest. You couldn’t make it by car in one day. Haha, if I’d only own a car. I didn’t. I knew that Josh would be very shocked if I would take a job that far away from Los Angeles, but if it’s my only chance I had to take it. Well, I sent the applications away, closed my laptop and hoped for the better.

“Hey little sis! How are you? How’s life in Berlin?

Maggie and I are moving to L.A. very soon. When you’re coming back, we’re already there. We’re super excited! It’s totally spontaneous to move in February but we found a little house and fell in love with it. It’s in Huntington Park, so a total new area for me to live. You know, I always was a Silver Lake boy. But well….if you have family, you have to compromise. Maggie found a job at a kindergarten and I will work for a start up. I’m very excited! I think it’s the first time I have a real job! Mom and dad will be very proud I guess.

What about you? Love, Marc”

Tears ran down my face when I read his e-mail. Sure I was proud of him, how he was doing and that he took care of his little family. But for me it felt like everything was against me. Why did Maggie found a job without even looking for a long time? And why did they have such a luck buying this house? I also looked for a place to live in L.A. but it made me even sadder. Everything was fucking expensive. How should I pay a rent of $1000 for a two room apartment without a job? Where should I live? Under the bridge? Yeah, maybe….

Lara tried to cheer me up. We made a girls night and ordered some cocktails while talking about our worries of every day life. “Sweetie, please don’t look that tired. Try to smile, okay? It’s a wonderful night. Just you and me and a glass of mojito” she said while looking me in the eyes. I think she knew how I felt. “I try to do it….but it’s not that easy when everyone around me seems to find a job, a house, a car….everyone but me” “I know…but as time goes by, everything will be okay. Believe me. I’ve been there” I knew that she was there before. Lara moved to Berlin eight years ago, totally broke. Her parents didn’t support her but she wanted to move to Berlin after she ended an abusive relationship with an ex. So she bought a ticket from Heidelberg to Berlin and looked for a place to sleep. She spent two weeks in a hostel until she found her first flat in Berlin. It was a small apartment but she was proud of it. For six months she worked as a waitress until she started studying graphic design. She always had to manage her life on her own since she was 20. And she did very well I guess. After graduating with 25 she found a temporary job, later was a free lancer and now was working at a gallery AND as a free lancer. She loved her job.

“I know that it will be fine. But now I’m very afraid of my future. I mean, I’m 28 and I don’t find a job. I couldn’t feed a family” “You don’t have to feed a family” she reminded me. “Yes but….you know, I’m starting to think about it. I always wanted to have kids and be married until I turn 35. It’s only seven years….” “Seven long years! Seven years where you can find a great job, earn much money, move into a wonderful place with your lovely boyfriend. Doesn’t it sound nice?” “It does” “So, please try to focus on the good things. The bad things will come anyway” “I actually applied for a job in Oregon. I don’t know what I should do if they send me a positive acknowledgement. Josh would freak out. I don’t think he would be pleased with my decision. I don’t even know how to tell him” “Hm, I think it’s your life. You should think about what’s best for you. I always share the opinion that a couple whose relationship is strong enough can do it. They can overcome the distance, if they only want to.” “You’re right….” I sighed and took a sip of my mojito. “At least my uterus reminded me again this week that I’m not pregnant. So I don’t have to think about feeding a family yet. I should be happy” I said sarcastic. “Urgh, I hate it. I hate it since I was 13. I mean, who decided that woman should be punished once a month? What did we do wrong? I don’t get it….” Lara got annoyed. “It’s an interesting question. Why women and not men? It’s unfair!” “It is! So unfair!” she raised her glass and said “To all the women out there dealing with menstrual pain. I feel you!” We clinked glasses and giggled. What would I do without Lara?

“But seriously” Lara started to say after we drank off our second cocktail and offered another one. “Would you like to have kids?” “Hm, I guess. You?” “No, never. Not now…but I think I won’t change my mind in the next ten years” “Really?” “I don’t get along with kids. I mean, I don’t know what to do with them. They’re cute but they can be very annoying and….it’s just not my thing I guess. I don’t see myself with children living a happy family life. I always wanted to be independent, travel, see more of the world, maybe live in a foreign country. You can’t do it with kids” “I know, if you have a family you’re caught into it. You can’t just disappear for a while” “Well you can but then you’re an asshole!” “Yeah” “But…what would you do if you would get pregnant now?” “Ehm….I don’t know. I would be shocked I guess” I said. What a tough question. “I would abort it and don’t tell my boyfriend” “No you wouldn’t!” I was shocked. “Yes, I think I would….” “But why don’t tell your boyfriend? He has the right to know it” “No….well okay maybe I would tell him but I would decide. It’s my body not his” “But it’s his child, too” “Yeah kind of. But….he doesn’t have to carry a big baby bump with him. He doesn’t have to feel the pain while giving birth. He doesn’t have to see his body change that way. You know what I mean?” “Yes but I don’t agree with you. I couldn’t abort it. It’s a life…no…I just couldn’t” “And that’s totally okay. But you have to respect my opinion” “I do”

“You know what’s funny?” she suddenly spoke about a completely different topic. “I hooked up with so many guys at bars in the last year and now I’m feeling like the most monogamous person I know. It’s so crazy, I mean one year ago I have sworn of men.” “Yes, love can change you” I laughed. “We both experienced it in the last year, right?” “Totally” Lara said after drinking her cocktail. “You know what drives me crazy?” “I don’t” “It drives me crazy that I don’t know much about Leon’s past. I mean, I’m questioning with how many women he has slept. I know it’s silly, but I want to know it so badly. I’m feeling like 22 again. Like Taylor Swift sings in her song, ‘Hey, I don’t know about you but I’m feeling 22′. So crazy!” “Then go and ask him” I suggested to her. “NO! I can’t do it” “Why?” “Because then he would ask me too and that would be awkward” “Why?” “Eileen, you know about my life in the last year. There were so many guys….” “Well, then don’t ask him. As you said, it’s in his past” “I wonder if I should ask him getting tested, you know, to have much more fun. If you know what I mean…” “I get it” I answered and took a long drink. I always felt a bit uncomfortable when Lara started talking about such topics. “I’ll think about it” she ordered the third cocktail. “Haven’t you ever wondered what Josh did? How many girls he had?” “No…not really” “But…he’s a rock star!” “He isn’t a rock star” “But he was always on the road in his 20s, now in his 30s. And he plays in a band with Anthony Kiedis. Oh gosh, I was so in love with Anthony Kiedis when I was 14” “Really?” “Completely in love. But then I fell in love with Brandon Flowers and forgot about Anthony” “You’re such an indie rock girl” I joked. “But what does that mean, he’s in the band with Anthony?” I giggled. “He’s not Anthony” “I know…but maybe Anthony’s dating life rubs off on Josh?” “He told me about his experiences but it didn’t give him anything” “Sure, it doesn’t give you much. It’s just sex for fun” “I don’t think he’s much into it” “For me he’s just this innocent shy guy” Lara laughed. “BUT still waters run deep, we all know it. And since we’re roommates I know he’s not that innocent after all” she crackled. “Well look at us. It’s already 2am, we’re sitting in a bar talking about our sexual life. It’s like we’re on college again!” Lara started laughing and ordered some gin and raised her glass. “To all the lovely kids out there who live a lovely life with their lovely parents. And to all the kids we prevent to have while having fun!” Oh well. Going out with Lara was always like an X-rated film.

Two days later I checked my mails when suddenly there was a mail from the foundation where I applied for a job - in Roseburg. My heart skipped a beat while opening it. I skimmed the mail and couldn’t believe it. They wanted to give me the job. Wow! I was happy. Sure it would be far away from home but….it was my only chance at the moment. Later that day I skyped with Josh. After we talked about our every day life – he would start touring in two days – I HAD to tell him about the positive news.

“So….I got a positive answer from a job application” I said nervous. “Oh really? Where? From this gallery in Burbank?” “No….sadly not. But it’s a really great job, they pay me enough money for a living” “Great! So where is it?” “Ehm….that’s the problem. It’s in Roseburg. Oregon” I watched Josh’s face changing from happy to shock. I knew it would happen. “You’re kidding” was the first thing that came out of his mouth. “I’m not. It’s the truth.” “What about the other jobs? This job in San Diego?” “Rejection” “The job in Pasadena?” “Nope” Silence. I knew he would react like that. I had the feeling that he didn’t understand why I would choose this job.

“Josh, look. It’s just for one year until I’ll find another job, hopefully in L.A.” “No” he said. “What…ehm?�� “No….just…no” “But, if it’s my only chance?” “It’s not….I already told you about your opportunities” “Yes you did. But it’s quite out of the question” I let him know. Josh shook his head and hid his face in his hands. “Eileen, do you really wanna go there?” “I think so” I said in an anxious voice. I wasn’t sure about it to be honest. “Well, then I don’t know how this will work out in the future” “This?” “Us” Wow. He thought that we couldn’t make it? Just because I would move away for one year? If I would take the job I had to take it for at least one year. I couldn’t leave earlier.

“So you say we couldn’t make it if I would move to Oregon?” “No” “Why?” “Because I don’t live a normal life. I’m a musician, I’m always on the road. I don’t have time to commute between two states when I’m back from work. I just can’t….” he told me. I felt sad that he didn’t want to give us a chance. “But Josh, it’s us. We can make it if we want to, don’t you think?” “How?” he asked and looked me in the eyes. Well at least his eyes in my display looked at me. “How do you think we can make it? How often could you afford a flight to L.A.? How often would I have time to fly to Oregon?” “I don’t know….” “See, it won’t go well. Believe me.” “Why are you sure about it? Did you have a long distance relationship?” “No” “So, why do you think that way?” “Because Los Angeles is my hometown. I can’t leave it. I just can’t. And I can’t live between two states. When I’m home from tour I NEED to stay in my hometown” “Wow, I thought that a relationship is about compromising….” Josh didn’t respond anything to it. He just stared at his feed. “So did I get it right, if I move to Oregon we break up?” “I guess” he said. “Otherwise it doesn’t make any sense for me” “Fine”

____________ I think this songs fits perfectly to the last scene of the chapter. Oh and I love Coldplay <3

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chelsla · 6 years

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June, 2016

Barcelona was hot, muggy, the exact reason I had hated living in Texas but the reason I loved living in Spain. My apartment was cooled only by open windows and a rattling fan that stood at the foot of my bed. “Stuffy” was an understatement, but I was loving the tiny hallways and secret patio just off the kitchen and my window that overlooked onto a too-loud intersection of El Poble Sec.

I squeezed the Build-a-Bear Miles had given me before I left Arizona just a week prior. “Hey Chels, I love you!” His voice came through the bear and I smiled, ready to face the day. Normally, I’d hate this amount of sappiness, but for some reason, our relationship felt like one that was found only in cheesy romcoms and Lifetime movies. I sat the bear back down on my bed, and walked into the cramped hallway, closing my room door behind me. My roommate is standing in the kitchen, looking through one of the cabinets above the stove. She waves at me and smiles as I walk by. I’m awful with Spanish, so our conversations have been brief, although it’s almost inspiring how much we each have been trying to communicate with each other in our native languages.

Once outside the apartment and on the curb of Carrer de Ricart, I search through my backpack to find my sunglasses. It’s beautiful and sunny, just like any other day in Barcelona. Though I’ve only been here for three days, it feels friendly and welcoming, unlike my hometown. A scooter passes me on the street as I find my way to the metro. It baffles me that I haven’t even missed my car at all. Usually, I would find peace in the daily drive to school, listening to music as loud as I could stand and shifting gears through traffic, never minding even when everything was at a standstill. But the metros of Barcelona provided me with a different kind of peace; I still got to listen to my music, albeit through headphones instead of a sound system, and I felt a strange sense of camaraderie with the other commuters around me.

I took L3, the green line, all the way from the Poble Sec station a block from my apartment to the Diagonal station, in one of the busiest areas of Barcelona. One particular exit would put me on the correct side of the street so I wouldn’t have to cross any busy intersections. Of course, I picked the wrong one and wound up in the middle of Passeig de Gracia: Miles’ favorite street in all of Barcelona. To me, it seemed a little too touristy, filled with countless retail stores and people milling around. It didn’t seem like a traditional Spanish street (not that I had necessarily found one), but like any large city’s main street. I would have to tell him about it later.

Miles had lived in Barcelona the summer before, studying abroad. It had been because I had visited him while on a Europe trip with my mother that I had even applied to teach English in Spain at all. I fell in love with the city, and then him, just mere months later. He hadn’t been thrilled when I told him I was moving here, though. Although in his defense, I hadn’t ever said I was applying to teach English and move out of the country, either. I hadn’t wanted to jinx anything by saying something too early, but now it almost seemed cruel that I had left him out of the loop. But we had plans to move to the same city together once I was back in the States. Miami, maybe? Miles was applying for sports jobs; I wanted to work in music and would be fine working at any of the nightlife venues there. We just had to make it through my Barcelona stint first.

I was walking along Carrer de Valencia now, just two blocks away from the school I taught at. I had successfully ignored the cafe on the corner with the perfectly warm chocolate croissants. I couldn’t ignore, however, the bright yellow poster hanging on one of the light posts ahead of me. I couldn’t read Spanish very well, but I could read ‘DIPLO’, my favorite DJ’s name. I half jogged up to the poster. No way, I thought. Tomorrow, apparently, there was a show at a club, Razzmatazz. What were the chances that my favorite DJ would be playing in Barcelona on my fourth day in the city?! It was as if the whole city was welcoming me. I had to go.

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vacationsoup · 6 years

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New Post has been published on https://vacationsoup.com/christmas-in-bali/

How to Rock this Christmas in Bali

Christmas usually evokes images of snow-ladened countryside and couples cozying up by open fires, but for some, the opportunity to spend December in a sunny climate is far more enticing. Thus, spending this Christmas in Bali will be full of joy, especially if you know the right places to do and things to do. Avoid the frosty mornings and bedlam of last minute Christmas shopping, to instead enjoy a more leisurely seasonal experience.

Though its main religion is Hinduism, Bali has a large Christian population and it is this, plus the lure of winter sunshine, that has turned Christmas on the Island of the Gods into something of a spectacle. So if you’re looking to swap cold winter nights for long sunny days and hot cocoa and scarfs for swimsuits and sun cream, our ultimate guide to Christmas in Bali could thaw even Scourge’s heart!

Christmas Shopping

Beachwalk features four floors of big name brands and local stores. Image: www.facebook.com/beachwalkbali

Though warm in December, Bali can see an unusual amount of rainfall towards the end of the year, making the prospect of indoor festivities that bit more enticing. In the heart of Kuta, just meters from the waterfront, you will find one of the island’s most dynamic shopping centers. Beachwalk features four floors of big name brands and local stores, making this retail paradise the perfect place to track down a festive gift.

During the holiday season, Beachwalk transforms into a winter wonderland, kitted out with tinsel, trees, and trimmings. Yet its annual Year End Sale is perhaps the best reason to visit. Every December this renowned event sees more than 100 fashion giants offering huge in-store discounts for savvy Christmas shoppers. This year is also the centres’ fifth birthday and to celebrate, a series of free interactive events will take place throughout December. Every Thursday at 6 pm on the Fountain and Desk Stages (level one) enjoy the merriment of Balinese culture while getting the items on your Christmas shopping list well and truly ticked off!

Essential info:

Web: http://beachwalkbali.com/ Tel: +62 361 8464 888 Address: Sahid Kuta Lifestyle Resort Jalan Pantai Kuta, Bali 80361 – Indonesia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/beachwalkbali Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beachwalk_bali/

Festive crafts

Don’t miss the ginger bread cooking class at Senses Restaurant. Image: Ritz-Carlton

If the idea of baking your own Christmas biscuits sends you into joyful overload, then you can’t miss the Ginger Bread Cooking Class at Senses Restaurant in Nusa Dua. Between 3pm and 4pm this Christmas Eve, Senses, inside the Ritz-Carlton hotel, invites willing bakers to make and ice their very own edible Christmas decorations, with the aid of their team of elves! Don your aprons, prepare your Instagram accounts and get cooking!

On 24th December the Ritz-Carlton will also be hosting a very special Teddy Bear Afternoon Tea, between 2pm and 5pm in the lounge bar. An event for the whole family, enjoy a delicate Afternoon Tea before the kids get crafty decorating cookies and making their own desserts. Places cost IDR150,000 (US$10.50) for children of 12 and under and IDR388,000 for adults (US$29). All children in attendance will receive an exclusive Ritz-Carlton teddy bear! Reserve your spot for either event by emailing the Senses team.

Essential info:

Web: http://www.ritzcarlton.com/en/hotels/indonesia/bali#Hotel Tel: +62 361 849 8988 Address: Jalan Raya Nusa Dua Selatan Lot III, Sawangan, Nusa Dua, Badung, Bali 80363, Indonesia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ritzcarlton Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ritzcarlton/

Christmas Carols

Every year Bali is lucky enough to play host to a truly magical family event, the Christmas Carols Spectacular. Image: www.facebook.com/hillsongchurch/

One of the finest ways to get in the festive spirit is to indulge in a little Christmas sing-along. Every year Bali is lucky enough to play host to a truly magical family event, the Christmas Carols Spectacular. This year Hillsong Church will present a very special carol service on Sunday 17th December from 5 pm. Taking place on a huge stage, the event will a world-renowned choir, classic seasonal songs, dancing, film and a rather magical meet-and-greet with Santa himself!

With regular church services every Friday at 7 pm and each Sunday at 10 am and 5 pm, this family-orientated church knows how to celebrate Christmas with a bang! Book your free tickets online in advance.

Essential info:

Web: https://hillsong.com Tel: +61 2 8853 5353 Address: Hillsong Bali Campus, Jl. Sunset Road 555, Legian, Kuta, Kabupaten Badung, Bali Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hillsongchurch Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hillsong/

Christmas Spirit(uality)

If you’re looking to avoid the Christmas throngs and instead heal the mind, body and spirit this festive season, then Hotel Villa Ubud could be the perfect destination for you. Image: Flickr: We Travel

If you’re looking to avoid the Christmas throngs and instead heal the mind, body and spirit this festive season, then Hotel Villa Ubud could be the perfect destination for you. Between 20th December and 4th January this popular resort is hosting a magical six day Christmas Meditation and Yoga Retreat, for those seeking mindfulness prior to the season of good will!

For six days you can indulge in luxury at this beautiful spa hotel, while discovering new breathing techniques and finding your inner serenity. Prices start from IDR9,450,000 (approximately US$700), for five nights’ accommodation, inclusive meals, daily classes, massages, half a days’ cooking class and a 3-course Christmas dinner. With complimentary shuttle services to and from Ubud and two-way airport transfers, this spiritual retreat is not only fantastic value for money, but offers an entirely new way to celebrate Christmas in Bali.

Essential info:

Web: http://www.hotelvillaubud.com/yoga/ Tel: +62 361 981824 Address: Hotel Villa Ubud, Jalan ke-Cagaan 1, Pejeng Kangin, Ubud, Kabupaten Gianyar, Bali, 80552 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/hotelvillaubud/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hotelvillaubud/

Christmas Movies

Finns Recreation Club in Canggu will be hosting special film events in its festive indoor cinema. Image: PixaBay.com

One of the most traditional ways to get in the Christmas mood is to snuggle up with the family to watch a classic holiday movie. Luckily, Bali has just the place! Throughout December, Finns Recreation Club in Canggu will be hosting special film events in its festive indoor cinema.

At 6.30pm every Saturday from 2nd until 30th December, Finn’s Kids Christmas Movie Night will showcase festive favourites for locals and visiting families to enjoy free of charge. Bring your snacks and blankets and join the team at Finns, as they partake in an age-old Christmas custom.

Essential info:

Web: http://finnsrecclub.com/ Tel: +62 (361) 848 3939 Address: Jalan Raya Pantai Berawa, Canggu, Bali, Indonesia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/finnsbali/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/finnsbali/

Christmas Parties

The island is awash with fantastic celebratory parties. Image: PixaBay.com

If the festive season makes you want to don your most glamourous outfit and take to the dance floor, then Bali is most definitely the destination for you. This time of year the island is awash with fantastic celebratory parties, and if you find yourself in Lovina, northern Bali, you can attend one of the most tempting of annual events.

Christmas Wonderland at Spice Beach Club, complete with fake snow and ocean views, takes place every day from 7pm on 24th to 30th December. Fill your evening with food, drink and entertainment, because this is one Christmas party you won’t want to miss. For ticket prices and reservations, contact a member of the Spice Beach Club team.

Essential info:

Web: http://www.spicebeachclubbali.com Tel: +62 (0)85-100012666 Address: Jalan Raya Singaraja-Seririt 225, Kaliasem, Lovina Beach, Bali, 81152 Indonesia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SpiceBeachClubBali/

Christmas Feasts

When it comes to food, Bali doesn’t disappoint this holiday season. Image: www.facebook.com/bridgesbali/

For many, the highlight of any Christmas celebration is the prospect of a lavish meal with all the trimmings and when it comes to food, Bali doesn’t disappoint this holiday season. Possibly the islands’ finest celebratory meal can be found at Bridges Restaurant. This beautiful, award-winning eatery is situated on the banks of the Wos River, overlooking a stunning natural forest. From the outdoor veranda, complete with fairy lights and Christmas trees, you can celebrate the most wonderful time of the year in true style.

To commemorate the launch of their Christmas menu, running between 17th December and 1st January, Bridges are teaming up with the Bali Community Choir. From 7pm on 17th, guests can be wined and dined while listening to traditional carols. Diners can enjoy a seasonal three-course lunch or dinner for IDR450,000 (US$33.32) pair person, or IDR800,000 (US$56) with the sommelier wine selection, making for a Christmas meal you won’t forget.

Essential info:

Web: http://bridgesbali.com/holiday-season/ Tel: +62 (0) 361 970095 Address: Jl. Raya Campuhan, Ubud – Bali, Indonesia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bridgesbali/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bridgesbali/

Boxing Day

Karma Groups’ annual Boxing Day Bonfire on the Beach will be a special ending to a the holiday season. Image: PixaBay.com

After all the celebrations and over-indulgence, Boxing Day can be a time of real relaxation and contemplation, but in Bali the magic of Christmas doesn’t stop after Christmas Day. As part of its 12 Days of Karma event, the Karma Groups’ annual Boxing Day Bonfire on the Beach will be a special ending to a the holiday season.

From 11am DJ Fran Tinez will kick start the Boxing Day celebrations, before saxophonist Jimmy Rougerie takes over at 3pm, taking guests through to sunset. Once the bonfire is lit, guests are invited to gather on the beach to enjoy a special starlight picnic, before DJ Rafa Lambert takes over the decks for the rest of the night. An event for families, couples and individuals, Karma’s Bonfire on the Beach is sure to be the perfect conclusion to a very memorable Christmas in Bali.

Essential info:

Web: https://karmagroup.com/ Tel: +62 361 848 2202 Address: Jalan Villa Kandara, Banjar Wijaya Kusuma, Ungasan, Bali, 80362 Indonesia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/karmagroupglobal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karma.group/

Interested in Christmas things to do and places to go in Thailand? Check this amazing article

#christmas in Bali #christmas mood in Bali #things to do for christmas in Bali #where celebrate christmas in Bali

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mothershipresidencies · 7 years

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Helen Sargeant & Naoise Sargeant

TEN DAYS- PLAY AWAY at The Mothership

A collaborative arts residency by Helen Sargeant & Naoise Sargeant

July 27th- 5th August 2017, Dorset, UK

In the summer me and my youngest son Naoise (aged 8) spent 10 days at The Mothership, a beautiful straw bale live/work studio deep in the Dorset countryside. The Mothership is an independent residential project created and run by the artist Anna Best. the aim of this residency was to retreat from our own family, home and immediate surroundings, and spend 10 un-interrupted days playing, making art and caring for each other.

The idea of being isolated and away from home, our family, friends, locality and daily routines was important so that we could experience and learn anew from a different environment. I restricted my use of email, text messaging and removed social media applications from my smart phone for the duration of our residency. I wanted to take away anything that would distract from my time with Naoise, in order to completely focus on him, and make the most out of the space and place where we were staying. I restricted Naoise access to my mobile phone, and after the first few days he wasn’t particularly interested in Smashy and Crashy Road, and I eventually deleted these games to make room for our photographs, films and documents.

During our time at The Mothership we deliberately experienced very little face to face social interaction with other people apart from Anna, her children, pets an artist friend of hers and people that we encountered whilst out buying food, posting our mail and day trips to the beach. We had daily interactions with Naoise dad via Skype, which I felt this was especially important for my son’s wellbeing as he very much missed him when we last went on a residency alone together in Finland.

Me and Naoise had some very loose plans about what we wanted to do. I deliberately chose not to structure our time so that we could respond intuitively to our surroundings and to alleviate the pressure on both of us to produce completed art works. I wanted to try to respond to Naoise and my own needs on a daily basis and as much as possible be led by him. I wanted to work with the idea of creative freedom, and what that meant to both of us. I chose not to commit to the responsibility of keeping a daily on-line blog, as I did not want to be working on a screen or feeling that we had to commit to publicly sharing our experience with a wide audience. I also wanted to maintain a level of privacy for me and Naoise, to protect us from public scrutiny. Its hard to create if you feel like you are being watched, judged, or remarked upon. Equally I didn’t want us to have to other think things, I wanted to concentrate on the doing, not to question or to be self critical. I wanted to make the experience free of anxious self analysis.

Residencies are often associated with the idea of the individual artist making work alone in splendid, uninterrupted isolation with plenty of time to reflect upon their past and present output. This was not a reality of this residency which was made whilst looking after a child on my own and without any formal childcare arrangements. There wasn’t much space in my mind to dream, there really was only time to respond, react, to play, to make, to do, to care and maintain ourselves.

This residency was self funded through a small crowd funding campaign via social media. We raised money to cover our accommodation, travel expenses, materials, and food costs by selling small drawings for 25 pounds each and making 10 hand painted and written postcards for 10 pounds each which we made and posted daily. These postcards became a record of our time at The Mothership, and were made seated side by side at an old wooden school desk by a big window looking out into the woods.

I paid Naoise 50 pounds which worked out at 5 pounds each day to work on this residency with me. I wanted him to feel that his work had value, to treat him as much as possible as an equal partner, and to use this money as an incentive. He decided what he spent the money on, and bought a fidget spinner from Bridport market and saved the rest to spend when he returned home. The crowd funding campaign was a success not just in terms of the money that it helped to generate but also because it made us feel directly supported by our audience and that our work was important and worth while.

It a a very long journey from Yorkshire to Dorset. It took us eight and a half hours altogether including breaks to get to The Mothership yet I loved the conversations and time spent with Naoise on the road. Naoise is very adept at being a DJ and reading the satellite navigation instructions on my smart phone. Motorway led to A roads which led to the familiar hedge and tree lined winding up and down country lanes of Dorset that I remembered so vividly from visits with an old boyfriend to his parents in Bridport over twenty years previously. Naoise spotted the sign to Copse Barn and as we drove down the lane to The Mothership we past handmade signs warning us that there were children playing. I immediately liked the feel of this place; definitely family friendly I thought.

From the moment me and Naoise arrived at The Mothership we were made to feel welcome and at home by Anna, her children and pets, Coconut the big cat and Curly Wurly a lovable labradoodle. Anna made tea and a snack for us after our long journey and her children proudly showed us to the studio. I quickly realised why it is important to arrive with food provisions, as the nearest shop is a four mile drive away, I was therefore very grateful when Anna kindly gave us a pint of fresh milk for our first evening, as I was far to tired to go shopping.

The Mothership is a gorgeous warm womb space surrounded by woods, an organic vegetable garden with resident chickens, cockerels and honking geese fields of hay and animals. Inside a wood burning stove, a compact kitchen, a table by a large window, a work bench and a big cosy bed. the skylights are made of corrugated plastic and when it rains, music falls. Seated by the table looking through the big window you can hear the stream moving below; there are three swings hanging from the huge oak and a hammock for tree bathing. A clearing in the woods by a white caravan and an apple tree heavy with fruit provides a circular space for a trampoline, which has evidently been well loved and used as its steps are rusting and there are fraying holes in the meshed surface.

There is a veranda leading to a bathroom with a shower and a compost toilet. The compost toilet wasn’t as stinky as we thought it would be, and soon we got used to flushing with a couple of handfuls of sawdust. ere was a great view from the loo and I loved watching all the life of insects and birds as I had a pee. Occasionally I had to remove webs and spiders that Naoise feared from the plastic rim. During our time at the Mothership as requested we used environmentally friendly toiletries and household products, recycled our waste and as much as possible tried to shop local.

We very quickly fell into a rhythm of working and living in this space, the weather dictated our activities; on wet days we stayed inside, played games, drew and painted; on sunny days we played outside in the land nearby or went on excursions in the car to the seaside or the shops to buy food. Our time in this remote setting was simple, there was no one watching or interrupting us, there wasn't a big pile of laundry to work through, a school routine to keep to, a teenager or partner to tend too. It was just me and Naoise. A simple ten day experiment in art making. It was research of a kind, we were searching, re-searching. Searching to see ourselves and how we could care for each other in a respectful way in a creative space. How we could make art out of our play, and how we could make art playful.

Anna went away for a few days at the beginning of our residency and we were entrusted with the care of her magnificent hunting ginger tom cat Coconut. It was wonderful to be given the freedom to roam, and play where ever we wanted, to be gifted the peace of all of her place. I was especially pleased by our time alone, as I had wanted to create an intimate situation, similar to that that as described in this passage from A Sculptors Daughter by Tove Jansson. In this extract Tove refers to a time spent with her mother when snowed into a house alone in the woods:

In fact, she said after a while, we have gone into hibernation. Nobody can get in any longer and no one can get out!

I looked carefully at her and understood that we were saved. At last we were absolutely safe and protected. is menacing snow had hidden us inside in the warmth for ever and we didn’t have to worry a bit about what went on there outside. I was filled with enormous relief, and I shouted, I love you, I LOVE YOU, and took all the cushions and threw them at her and laughed and shouted and Mummy threw them all back and in the end we were lying on the floor just laughing.

Then we began our underground life. We walked around in our nighties and did nothing. Mummy didn’t draw. We were bears with pine needles in our stomachs and anyone who dared come near our winter lair was torn to pieces. We were lavish with the wood and threw log after log onto the fire until it roared.

Sometimes we growled. We let the dangerous world outside look after itself, it had died, it had fallen into space. Only mummy and I were left.

Tove Jansson, Sculptors Daughter: Snow, Page 138

Instead of snow it was the torrential rain that kept us inside, then we played at domestic cat rather than wild bears; mimicking Coconuts behaviour.

We enjoyed many lazy mornings in bed reading. There was no need to play with plastic, guns or screens. ere was space. Space to swing, to jump, physical and mental space just to be, to sort out any conflicts or disagreements we may have. A studio where we could wake up and draw in our pyjamas if we wanted too. No one else demanding anything of us. Some mornings I would wake early and go out for a walk in the garden, dew from the grass wetting my bare feet. I would make coffee, get some tidying, sorting and artwork made whilst Naoise snoozed. Other mornings I would wake up with him, watch the summer light fall on his fair hair, stroke the peachy skin on his little back, see the two horses, one brown, one white in the field beyond the hollyhock fringed window.

During the day, we did lots of ING things Swinging, Jumping, Swimming, Walking, Crawling, Hugging, Talking, Laughing, Arguing, Disagreeing, Compromising, Co-operating, Helping, Drawing, Reading, Painting, Collecting, Arranging, Cooking, Washing up, Exploring, Finding, rowing, Burying, Burning, Showering, Listening, Feeling, Sleeping, Eating, Cleaning, Tidying, Making, Learning, Following, Discovering, Pretending, Watching, ....Tree Bathing, Star Gazing, ACDC, PJ Harvey music in the car driving down twisted,hedge and tree lined country lanes Singing.

As much as possible I let Naoise be an equal partner in our art making. We worked together making postcards, paintings, films and actions. A performance that Naoise devised called 100 Kisses, involved standing facing each other and kissing each other exactly one hundred times each. Naoise enjoyed directing films made on the trampoline, the swings and whilst having donkey rides, sitting on my back as I crawled through the hay meadows. Other times we would work side by side, me making drawings, him painting a stone silver that he had found on the beach, or colouring crystals in rainbow colours with permanent markers. Sometimes all I could do was facilitate his creativity, such as his wax burning sculptural experiments with twigs and leaves. On the beach Naoise traced my drawings with footprints in the sand. We jumped over the waves, threw rocks in the sea. My smart phone filled up quickly with records of all our activities and then we just had to think carefully about visually selecting and placing memories into our minds. Naoise was unsure about a walk that we went on in the woods, he was scared by its size, strangeness and depth but he did enjoy spotting all of the blue dancing dragon flies, the moths and butter flies, there was an absolute abundance of wildlife. He was mostly delighted with the surroundings of the Mothership, he didn’t especially want to go anywhere other than our temporary home.

The hawk cawed and circled above. At night he liked me to lock out the dark, and would request that I turn the key in both front and back door to reassure him. I would leave the window open, and we would fall asleep to the sound of moths clattering, owl hooting, the rain on the plastic skylight and the dying embers of a fire.

The only truly bad thing that happened during our stay was when Naoise got stung on his foot by a hornet whilst I was in the shower. He let out an enormous scream of pain, I came running and managed to catch the beast under a saucepan and calm Naoise down with sweet liquid paracetamol and a big hug. Phew.

I sometimes felt suffocated by The Motherships’s wild beauty and remoteness I felt a sadness in the defunct playground equipment the lack of contact with other adults and children and by day five felt exhausted by the intensity of our working relationship, there is only so much energy that caffeine can provide. I began to long for some childcare assistance, for a break. I was therefore delighted when I was invited out to the pub with Anna for a drink with an artist friend of hers in the local village. Naoise was kept entertained by a glass of water, a straw, a pat on the head of farting Coconut the dog and a game of squares on note paper.

1st August : Day 5

Still felt needed childcare....hard

Coconut

Swing

Frustration over broadband - argument Draw ; odds are still stacked against me, Need some childcare

PLAY COME AND PLAY...constantly negotiating time, tug of mothering versus arts practice,,,,,,,try to not make it a battle, patience and waiting, waiting,

From studio I can see a swing.

Now will go and play on his own Swinging and different cameras angles Him and me - Time

Time Passing

Play. Holding on

Waves, swinging, movement, The air. The wind The leaves, The leaves and the wind. The light. Swinging together synchronised swinging, Not always together sometimes out of sync.

Naoise says: “ Are you learning something from me now.” ........Naoise painting postcard green and red paint splodged together.

Helen Says: “ of course I learn things from you all the time”

Text from Ten Days notebook

Towards the end of our stay Anna had a look at the work that me and Naoise had made together and she offered some constructive feedback, and artists that we could look at such as Marcus Coates, we also discussed a future collaborative project about motherhood and the artist/residency model. The following day we visited her studio, next door to our own and she talked through a film that she was making together with the help of a local butcher, and she also showed us some gorgeous films that she had made of her family. It was on viewing these films and comparing them to my own that I thought about what can realistically be achieved in ten days. Anna’s films were filled with the knowledge, texture and intimacy of a place, of familiarity of what comprises a home. Me and Naoise were very much outsiders looking in. We could only ever hope to scratch the surface, to see what a stranger see’s.

One afternoon we helped Anna to pick and pod the peas in her garden and on our last evening we shared a magical time star bathing, lying down on wooden sun beds wrapped in sleeping bags with Curly Wurly the dog cuddled up on our legs. We spotted the International Space Station, we saw the Milky Way Jupiter and the red dot of Mars. We talked about freckles and we talked about stars and we wished upon some falling ones and we laughed about the plane with red lights that looked like venus rising. Naoise tried to count all the stars in the sky very, very, very slowly and methodically and this reminded Anna of a song by Martin Creed that she saw him sing with his band called 1-100, where Martin Creed counts from 1 to 100.

Anna and Naoise called to the owls and they called back.

On the first morning that we arrived at the Mothership, we watched a young fawn running around and around between the trees outside the studio window, doing the deer Grand Prix. I wondered where her mother was. I think that mother deers hide their young ones in hedgerows when they are little whilst they go out foraging for food. We had so many close encounters with nature and with each other. We rarely spent a moment apart. Naoise walked off from me a few hundred yards when upset on a beach and he went off to sulk on the swing when we argued over internet access, but mostly we stayed by each others side. It is the fawn and the hawk and the myriad of butterflies and moths and the call of the owls in the dark of the night that will stay with me. It is the intensity of the conversations that me and Naoise had that still stick. It is our attachment to each other. The respectful, compassionate collaboration that we developed that involved everything from negotiating what we ate for dinner, to marks within paintings, rescuing spiders, and abandoning fossil hunts on beaches where sand left Naoise feet feeling sore. It involved being patient and sometimes feeling annoyed and frustrated with the other and being kind and listening deeply and letting each person have space to be themselves. It was about experimenting with our time together about trying things out and failing and being close, and cuddling next to each other at night and waking up beside each other every day and making it all up as we went along.

I thought about temporality, duality, what is home and family. I thought about the boundaries of the sea and the shore, the wood and the field, my body and my sons. The porousness of our skin, breathing, sweating. I thought of love and tears and compassion and the relationship that I hold with my youngest son. I thought about why I like isolation and being in a rural setting. I thought about time. and how time changes when you are a parent. Circular time, the moon, the tide, the sun, day and night becoming one. I thought about my own childhood, my memories of it, how I felt about my mother, what I liked to do with her and how my relationship with her has shaped the way that I parent.

I looked up into the branches of trees and twisted the rope of my swing and let it go and got dizzy spinning around. I thought about how I connected with Naoise childhood. I thought about Anna and her family living in this place, playing on the climbing frame, digging in the earth, growing food. jumping on the trampoline. I felt that we were tracing their steps as well as steps back to my childhood and into Naoise’s. I thought about the constant stream of artists visitors staying at the Mothership. I thought about the next visitor an activist working with residents from the Grenfell Tower.

I thought about how the landscape feels, its touch. I thought about being small and insignificant. I thought about all the other mothers parenting their children over the summer holidays and trying to do both work and play. I thought about how fortunate I was to have this time with Naoise on my own. I thought about security and how to feel safe. I thought about how this place made me feel. I thought about what the fundamental things we need to survive, heat, shelter, water, and companionship. I thought about what is needed in order to make art, about what things are needed in order to be creative.

I am still thinking about and trying to process and make sense of the experience that me and Naoise had during our residency. Its taken me ages to write this report, as I had been worrying about what to write and how to write it, and there never seems to be a moment to concentrate between the interruptions of looking after children, and summer holidays and then getting children ready to go back to school and then half term holidays and maintaining a house and studio and a relationship. Life is full and full on busy when you are a parent, and there seems little space for art.

Perhaps there isn’t any sense to be made out of arts practice, perhaps its just the idea and the process that is important, the journey and how you arrive at the making. There are always more questions to ask. What happens when we isolate ourselves from society? What are the benefits of making art in isolation? How can we reflect upon our arts practice whilst simultaneously looking after children? Why do mothers who are artists feel isolated ? How best can we support artists who feel isolated? What are the pros and cons of making art work in rurally isolated places ? How does a child value arts practice ? What does a child artist think ? How can I make critically informed work whilst working with my own child ? What happens when we disagree ? What happens when things don’t go to plan? . How can we do both make art and care for each other? What does my child think about collaborating with me? How can we best involve children in arts making? What do artists/parents need to be able to participate in residencies ? How can we reconstruct/ reformulate the artists residency to make it more viable for artists who have children or other caring responsibilities? What sort of childcare is needed and how can this be provided for parents in order that they can take part in arts residencies? Working alone or collaborating the pros and cons of each?

Whilst writing this report I read aloud my words to Naoise and he said “listening to what you have written makes me want to go back to the Mothership, we had such a happy time there”. I feel that our time at the Mothership was a success because we felt at ease with each other and our surroundings, and felt supported in our creative endeavours by Anna, by my partner and our sponsors. The Mothership truly is a family friendly residency and an opportunity to be valued. Anna is both an artist and a mother therefore completely understands what artists need to make and what challenges parents can face in making work and participating in a residency. She was sensitive to me and Naoise needs and supportive of what we were trying to do. She allowed us the space to make and truly trusted us and welcomed us into her home.

I tried to make this residency relaxing and enjoyable for us both by reducing the pressure to make anything substantial, by improvising, by making do, and by paying Naoise an artists fee to work together with me and to be a part of our daily creative decision making. I managed to reduce levels of anxiety by keeping away from social media and not committing to writing everyday. I kept some brief notes and the postcards that we made together became a record of our time at The Mothership and a way of communicating directly with our audience.

The challenge to combine my love of art and the love of my son’s often seems at odd’s with the fast moving, money driven. capitalist society within which we live.Ten Days at The Mothership however allowed me and Naoise to slow down and to concentrate on one another, focus on play and art making and enjoying each others company. My positive experience at The Mothership made me think about what I fundamentally value; art and parenting and how to do both. Antonella Gamotto-Burke writes in her introduction to MAMA, Love, Motherhood and Revolution:

The Google doctrine stipulates that “ (f)ast is better than slow”, but the veneration of acceleration is one of the greatest obstacles to intimacy and, perhaps, the most toxic in terms of parenting. An accelerated existence not only allows no time to consider either priorities or choices, but precludes deeply caring about these priorities or choices. Life just comes at us and we react. The bar is now set by technology: jarring, bright, near-instantaneous. Intimacy, on the other hand, is quiet, slow.

Attachment is the sum of repeated exposure, vulnerability, the consolidation of trust. There is no expediting love. And it is precisely at this point that our culture has started to fall apart. The fact that there is a need to specify attachment in relation to parenting tells us everything we need to know about the rupture between twenty-first century man and his heart. Emotion is no longer placed at the centre of human identity, which puts the very value of humanity at risk.

Professor Bruce Perry, the renowned child mental health researcher, stated that the most important property of humankind is the capacity to form and maintain relationships, which he see’s as “ absolutely necessary for any of us to survive, learn, work, love and procreate.” This capacity is, he carefully explained. “related to the organisation and functioning of specific parts of the human brain. Just as the brain allows us to see, smell, taste, think, talk and move, it is the organ that allows us to love - or not. The systems in the human brain that allow us to form and maintain emotional relationships develop during infancy and the first years of life.

MAMA, Love, Motherhood and revolution: Page 25-26

Naoise’s Report

I loved the mothership it was so relaxing because every day when we woke up we could ether stay in bed or get up and do some jobs around the house . We where on a farm so there was no cars going past and making noise .One day we seen a fawn running across the grass outside the house which was very amazing .On suny days we would lie in the hanik across from the house.

PLAY AWAY Postcards

Each day of our stay at The Mothership me and Naoise painted, wrote and sent a postcard to one of our sponsors.

DAY 1

Thursday 27th July

Helen: In the car I listened to PJ Harvey and Naoise requested ACDC. Now all we can hear is the sound of the wind in the trees.

Naoise: Today Me and Helen arived at the Mothership in Dorsit.

Helen: It is very beautiful. there is an organic vegetable patch. Anna and her children are very relaxed and welcoming. Naoise and me have lots of room to roam. is evening after eating chick pea curry and rice we jumped on the trampoline, and swang and swang on the swings. the landscape is tight, compact and intense. the hedgerows huge, dense foliage. the journey was long. We are happy here. Naoise says its fifteen out of ten !!

DAY 2

Friday 28th July

Postcard 1/ Addressed to Naoise Dad

Helen: Naoise says next time we go on an arts residency he wants you to come too! I loved seeing the baby deer bounding around in front of the studio today.

Naoise: I wanted to say helo and how you are doing.

Postcard 2/

Helen: Today me and Naoise were very surprised to see a baby deer bounding around in front of our studio/house.

We went to Bridport to buy some food. We found Waitrose which is super posh. Naoise bought some boules to play on the beach, and we also got a small board game from a charity shop.

The wind is getting up in the trees and it does not feel like summertime.

Tomorrow we hope to go hunting for fossils and we will wear our waterproofs if its raining.

Naoise: say helo to ....... for me. me and mum went to brigport and bought of good stuff signed NSWF x

Helen: I just remembered, I woke up this morning with a very large moth sitting on top of my head! Its realy wet outside, getting dark, we are in bed reading The Beetle Queen after playing inside boules. Naoise is winding up the lamp...we both think the organic milk that we bought in Bridport is very good !!

DAY 3

Saturday 29th July

Helen: We are home alone in the middle of no-where, looking after “Coconut” the cat. Its very wet outside, not at all the sort of weather we expected down south ! However we are very warm and happy in this straw bale studio. The rain falls heavy on the plastic windows.

Today we went fossil hunting at Charmouth beach, but Naoise did not like the texture of the sand on his feet. Luckily we found a patch of soft sand to play on, so Naoise did some drawing in the sand and built a dam. We also bought some fossils from a shop- so we totally cheated at the hunting game.

DAY 4

Sunday 30th July

Helen: Naoise thought that The Mothership was a ship full of a load of mums ! He is pleasently surprised that it is not that and instead it is a beautiful organic farm and live/work studio space.

I am trying not to resort to the mobile phone baby sitter, however sometimes it is essential. “Smashy Road” , is the only break I get from constant parenting and this creative experiment. Its absolutely iddilic here, but parenting is all consuming. I’m still not sure if my experiment is working, however Naoise seems to be enjoying Dorset much more than Finland. Today we did lots of bouncing on the trampoline and Naoise made some films of us jumping. He has some great ideas about cinematography, and how to set up the camera and shoot at different angles.

We bought organic milk from the nearest shop and a delicious apple pie. A mother in the shop with a young baby was saying how much she was looking forward to 5 o’clock, when her baby would be going to bed.

We saw three types of butter fly today; peacock, red admiral and fritillary.

DAY 5

Monday 31st July

Helen: We have bounced on the trampoline, swung on the swings, read “ the Beetle Queen”, crawled through long grass (Naoise on my back)and been for a walk in the woods.

In the woods we saw 5 deer, lots of dragon flies. Naoise is a bit afraid of the woods and had only shorts and crocs on so he was’nt keen on the prickly grass and brambles. I kept trying to take a picture of a dragon fly, but each time I got near to it, it flew away.

Naoise: Today me and mum went to bounce on the traplen and taik the remote for the camera and toulk some pictutrs of us in the air.

DAY 6

Tuesday 1st August

Helen: I am watching Naoise swinging from a rope in the studio. I have a heavy head of tiredness and coffee. Naoise is shouting “Mummy”, I answer back “ I can hear you”. He really wants me to play with him. I am his sole companion, his carer, his teacher, his food provider.....sometimes I wish for a break. I have created this situation of Artist/Mother Child/Son/ Artist Collaborator, so I had better enjoy it. Today is the first day that Naoise has played alone for five minutes. Now he is back ! We had.......Always interruptions....its frustrating. We had an argument over the smart phone today. Ooops pasta almost boiled over. “Mum, Mum” Naoise shouted.

Its totally idyllic here. Loads of room to roam. Its pretty intense though just me and Naoise all alone. Loneliness/Companionship. PLAY-WORK-CARE-LOVE.

Swinging is good. Swinging together, looking at the leaves in the trees, feeling the wind on our faces. Its such a luxury to have all this, and I am grateful.

Nothing comes easy. the clock ticks, our time here in this creative bubble is short lived. Trying to relax. Learning to let go. Trying to let Naoise lead the game of ART/PLAY/WORK/LIVE. Not always fun.

Naoise: We hope that you enjoy this postcard that we painted.

DAY 7

Wednesday 2nd August

Helen: Loosing track of days. Wet. Sun. Rain. Wind. Night/Day melting into one. I wish Naoise would get dressed, he is still in his pants. I am low on parenting energy, and coffee hasn’t energised me. Its so wet today. the rain is lashing it down. I’m staring at the beautiful big oak tree, and rope swing, thinking we will be inside all day. Inside this “womb” space. But I hate being inside. I like the freedom of out.

Naoise wants me to read more book to him, so we are now having a stand off about getting in the shower. I am on “reading strike” . He says “I am not getting in the shower.”So I might as its lovely.

......A bit later I lured Naoise into the shower, after rescuing a very big spider !!

Naoise: I am in Dorsit at the moment staying on a farm.

DAY 8

Thursday 3rd August

Helen: Less bad weather, but cold, feels Autumnal....Today we worked on a painting. Naoise burnt a lot of matches, melted wax. Swang in trees. We showed Anna our work. Helpful to talk about our ideas. Went to pub. Met bell ringer pub landlord. Saw stars between clouds. Lit re....ahhhh very tired. Yawn.

Naoise: We hope you like this postcard....I am looking forward to the sleep over.

DAY 9

Friday 4th August

Helen: I am trying to make art and look after Naoise again....today has begun with a stand off about getting in the shower, so I am ignoring Naoise and he has run off somewhere. Its a pretty idillic place to have a strop. After days of rain its actually sunny.

Naoise has befriended Anna’s cat and is busy learning how to play cat. ere’s a swing hanging from a big oak tree and he is having a go on that. We are meant to paint these postcards together, but I think I will rebel today and just paint alone. Naoise is content playing on that swing.

DAY 10

Saturday 5th August

Helen: This evening me Naoise and Anna went star bathing. We lay down wrapped in blankets and looked at all the stars. We saw lots of satellites and aeroplanes too. en we hooted at the owls and they hooted back at us.

POSTCARD Painted and Written from Cornwall as a thank you to Anna Best

Sunday 6th August

Helen: Venus Rising, the constellation of Curly Wurly and Coconut the Cat. A few Satellites, Possibly 2-3 shooting stars and at least 142 stars counted out by Naoise...and maybe the International Space Station.

References

Bibliography

Time Travelling with a Hamster, Ross Welford, Harper Collins Children’sBooks, 2015

The Star of Kazan, Eva Ibbotson, Macmillan Children's Books, 2014

Fair Play, Tove Jansson, Sort of Books, 2007

A Sculptors Daughter: A childhood Memoir, Tove Jansson, Sort of Books, 2015

Mama, Love, Motherhood and Revolution, Antonella Gambotto-Burke, Pinter & Martin Ltd, 2015

Artist/ Parent Resources

The Mothership

http://annabest.info/residencies/

The Mothership Blog

http://mothershipresidencies.tumblr.com/

M(other) & Son

A two week collaborative research residency between Helen Sargeant and her son Naoise Sargeant at Takahuhti Artcenter, Tampere, Finland, supported by Nicola Smith’s We Are Resident project and funded by the Arts Council. September 2016 http://helensargeant.co.uk/motherandson/

‘Motherhood and Live Art 2: Are we screwing the kids up?’, a discussion about processes and ethics in performance work with children.

Event organised and document by Miffy Ryan, April 2017, the Institute for Art, Practice and Dissent at Home. http://www.twoaddthree.org/motherhood-and-live-art-2/

An Artist Residency in Motherhood, By Lenka Clayton

A self-directed, open-source artist residency to empower and inspire artists who are also mothers. http://www.artistresidencyinmotherhood.com/

Thanks

Special thanks to Anna Best for inviting me and Naoise to complete our residency at the Mothership and supporting our work. Patrick Ward for his constant love and creative support.

Many thanks to our sponsors who helped to make this project happen and make our work feel valued.

Rachel Fallon, Ellie Oliver Simone Kennedy Eglė Kačkutė, Ann Kaloski, Lena Simic,Dyana Gravina, Tracey Kershaw, Jessica Paige Greig, Amy Ellingham, Louie Jenkins, Clare Harbottle, Alison Piling, Grace Whowell, Emma Finucane, Christina MacRae, Tracey Evans, Billie Ireland,Amy Dingham, Serena Dawn Askew, Laura Godfrey Issacs

To find out more about Helen Sargeant and her arts practice go to her website:

www.helensargeant.co.uk

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frabexit-blog · 7 years

Text

Ella, Tangalle and Mirissa

We caught a train from Kandy to Ella, with no snacks, thinking it would only be a couple of hours.. 7 hours later we arrived pretty hangry. Totally worth it though because it is actually the most beautiful train journey in the world. We sat on the floor by the open door and dangled our legs out the whole way.

We walked 5 mins to our hostel which was the worst place we had ever seen. Literally a shack on stilts, on the busiest main road in the town and full of lots of little pets in the bathroom. It was called 'SpiceHut' which is never a good start. Frankie had a cockroach crawl up her leg when she was brushing her teeth, never screamed so loud. We found food at a restaurant next door and had 8 Sri Lankan curries and rice each for £2 each, one of which was a jack fruit curry OMG so bloody marvellous.

The next morning we packed up and ran as fast as we could out the door in search of a new home. After maps taking us the wrong way and walking up a mountain in 30 degree heat with all our stuff, we arrived at a guesthouse in the middle of nowhere, bunned off their wifi and found somewhere else. Third time lucky we found a lovely little guesthouse WITH A BALCONY.

After some lunch we decided to walk to Ravana Falls, we were told it was a 45 minute walk so we set off full of promise and excitement. Took us 3 hours actually. It was such a fun journey we got caught in a huge storm and had to walk bare foot down massive windy roads, people kept stopping to give us a lift but we were like NAAAH WE’RE ENGLISH WE LOVE ABIT OF RAIN (ironic as we both came down with deadly colds the next day). After about 3km we found a beautiful hotel and walked in looking like two wet, feral children, everyone inside was dressed amazingly for their buffet lunch. The kind man let us in for a coffee even at the risk of upsetting customers and ruining their rep. We met a lot of dogs on the way down and even a few monkeys, our Frankie has a bit of a monkey complex but she was v brave (and dogs and cows).

At the end of the 7km walk the waterfall was beautiful and we felt well ard for walking when we saw everyone getting off their tourist coaches, we tried to swim but a policeman came and fished us out because it was too dangerous apparently (eejit).

We woke up the next day feeling rank but we soldiered on. Thinking it was just down the road we went to visit the 9 arch bridge, but actually it was another 5km climb. WE LOVE CLIMBING! In the evening we went for dinner at a little shack called ‘Matey Hut’ recommended to us and it was bloody bootiful. There’s only 4 tables and it’s a tiny place but the food!! The world needs to embrace pumpkin curry it is incredible.

The next day we had to move hostels AGAIN, but moved about 3 mins down the road to another super cute guesthouse. We both felt rank from walking in the rain so we laid in bed all day and watched Breakfast at Tiffany’s and ate crisps. The guy who owned it made us an absolutely cracking breakfast the next morning. His wife was away for Sri Lankan New Year, poor sod, so he was holding the fort and kept bringing us more food to try and please us as much as possible. Bex wrapped some of it up to take ‘for lunch’ but actually saved it and fed it to the wee dogs up the mountain. We climbed little Adam’s Peak which was beautiful and not that difficult now we’re professional climbers. The views over Ella were amazing and there were puppies at the top which were so adorable. I love that all mountains seem to have pups at the top it’s such a reward (Bex obviously, Franks don’t like dogs much) (alien).

We went for a coffee on the way down at a cute cafe over looking the valley , we stayed there for aaaaages it was such a little sun trap. Then headed back to the hostel before going for dinner which was absolutely rubbish. The waiter brought out wobbly popadoms so I asked him to bring some legit ones and he was like ‘nooo they’re meant to be moist’ I mean I haven’t dedicated my life to researching the texture of popadoms but I know a stale one when I see it. Me and Franks weren’t appy!

ELLA - TANGALLE.

Got the old 31 bus to Tangalle, now I look back on it I can laugh but at the time I thought I was going to blow chunks all over the Sri Lankan locals, finally I got a seat but I saw a little girl standing up so I let her sit on my lap and my god what a regret, the wee nugget fell asleep and not only was she 100degrees but she was dead weight, frankie was sat at the back like the queen while I was baby sitting a heavy ball of fire, cute though!!! We arrived at our hostel where the staff were all getting blotto for late New Year celebrations, we had the most beeeautiful sea view room. We met a dog called Freddy who slept on our balcony but Bex woke up covered in flea bites from all the cuddling - rank.

The next day we played in the sea but it was mucho aggresso, we both lost our sunnies when we were piggybacking and got taken out by a wave BUT the most remarkable thing happened when 3 hours later we were sunbathing and Bex’s glasses washed up on to the shore sitting perfectly on the beach. Frankie’s are still in the sea, we like to believe they’re being worn by a wonderful dolphin who’s feeling super sassy.

The hostel owner had the cutest son who was like 7. We played bat and ball with him which was cute (***BEX played with him, bloody Frankie went and hid, I sacrificed myself for you) but when he kept turning up at 7am at our bedroom window, and we woke up to him staring at us with a bat in his hand it all got a bit creepy. After our bad experience with sea the day before we found a calmer bit of ocean and we didn’t get out for 4 hours and splashed around being beached whales when other girls tried to look all sexy. We did competitions and we sung songs really loud and just looked generally really cool.

After a week of bumming around on the beach we hopped on a bus to another beach.

MIRISSA

When we arrived in Mirissa we immediately dumped our stuff and went back to our beloved sea. Bex instantly got blown miles to the shore by a wave leaving Franks just a little dot in the ocean, the waves were NOT OKAY.

The next day we looked for a swimming pool, we asked a TukTuk driver to take us a few beaches down the road but he went half hour to Weligama beach instead, found the cutest pool which they let us use for free at ‘Good Story’ spent the rest of the day splashing about like morons, I feel like people are always confused when we’re in water like 'how long can they stay in there? Did they get out when we weren’t watching? Why aren’t they shrivelled up like raisins? Why is that girl tormenting her poor friend?’ That evening we played cards with our lovely pal Samuel who was a bit of a buzz.

A couple of days later I had savage chest pains, I think it was from being taken out by the waves but I was convinced I was having a heart attack, I plopped down outside a shop and couldn’t get back up so me and Franks hopped in a tuk tuk to the docs. The waiting room was a free for all and all eyes were on me being the weird white girl holding a freezer block on her chest, me and Franks gave the best A* drama performance of all time and they all said I could be seen first (if they’re all going to stare we may aswell make it worth while AMARIGHT). Doc was nice until he recommended going to the hospital for an ECG and in that second I had a miraculous recovery, thanked him for his time and ran away at speed. After a lot of debate we went to the hospital where it was like there had been a zombie apocalypse, the tellies were on but there was no one home.

We walked through and found the whole hospital having a late New Year party (there was even a DJ) in the garden, all the nurses and doctors were having races and apple bobbing and I was having a suspected heart attack. One matey finally came over to help me, I wasn’t convinced he was a doctor he looked like he was doing it for a laugh but he sent me for an ecg and asked me adult questions so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Got in a right strop because the nurses tried to make me get my wee nips out in front of the ward of staring Sri Lankan’s and they kept telling me to calm down cos I was shouting like a hooligan about the lack of curtain drawing. Luckily my gal Frankie was on full nipple patrol. ANYWAY was just a pulled muscle but was a really fun morning in the end!

Naturally after this we went for cocktails to celebrate and then went to find Turtle Beach

It was so jeffin beautiful, a super quiet corner of the beach where we hired a snorkel and dived straight in. Within 5 mins we were swimming with metre long green turtles and it was incredible. Bex probably shouldn’t have been doing it with severe chest pains but it was the last day so had just get over it. At least we knew she wasn’t dying..

The next part of the journey was probably the worst experience we’ve had in the time we’ve been away and to be honest we don’t wanna relive it but here we go. We had made a decision to move closer to the airport a day before our flight so we didn’t have such a long journey, what a bloody stupid idea that was. The train was fine to Colombo, the bus to Negombo was full so we had to get a tuk-tuk (cost a bloody fortune), there was a petrol strike so the tuk-tuk driver couldn’t get petrol and was freaking out, we got super stressed, the cash point kept rejecting my card so I couldn’t pay for the tuk-tuk, the tuk-tuk broke down, we had to change to another one, it was pissing down with rain, the hostel we wanted to go to wasn’t in Negombo (was another 10km’s so an extra £10 to get there) so we ended up at a random guesthouse down a dark road by the airport miles away from anywhere chosen by a sign on a main road that had pretty writing on it. It had A/C and the owner made us tea. After a bit of dinner at the only restaurant in a 3 mile radius, it was bed and then on to JAPAAAAANNNN

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