Imagine breaking the dwarves out of the dungeons of The Woodland Realm.
Ori: "We're never gonna reach the mountain are we?" *He laments*
Bilbo: "Not stuck in here, you're not." *Jingles the keys*
Y/N appears, eating a cake?
Y/N: "Didya know they were having a feast? Bloody good food they have. And the wine! You guys want any? I think I can go-"
Balin: "Bilbo!"
*All erupt into excited chatter*
Y/N: "Wha- What am I? Chopped liver?"
*Munches angrily*
Kili: "It's okay Y/N I'll share with you!"
Fili: "Yeah, come on give us some!"
*Y/N grins and breaks the cake into three pieces.*
Bilbo: "Shh! There are guards nearby!"
*One by one they escape down to the cellar.*
Bofur: "You're suppose to be leading us OUT! Not further in!"
Bilbo: "I know what I'm doing."
Bofur: "Shh!"
Bilbo: "Into the barrels! Quickly now."
Dwalin: "Are you mad? They'll find us."
Bilbo: "No no, they won't I promise you. Please, please you must trust me"
Thorin: "Do as he says."
*They clamber in and Y/N stays out.*
Y/N: "Go Bilbo. into the barrel with Thorin quickly."
Thorin: "Y/N, what are you-"
Y/N: "I will see you at the gate."
Balin: "What gate?"
Y/N: "Hold your breath everyone."
*Y/N pulls the lever and they are all dropped into the river.*
Y/N: "Well, that was fun! Now, let's play some hide and seek shall we?"
*Y/N slips past the guards and out of the palace and up into the light. They spot the dwarves in the river and begins her run towards them*
Legolas: "Shut the gate" (in Sindarin)
Y/N: "No no! Don't do that!"
The guards look at her strangely before beginning to shut the gate.
*Y/N groans and mumbles*
Y/N: "This is gonna hurt like a bitch isn't it. Where's Tauriel when you need her. Stupid world doesn't even have her in it. Stupid movie made me think she was an actual character"
*She huffs while running towards the gate*
Y/N "ORCS! WATCH OUT!"
*A guard is stuck by an arrow.*
Y/N: "Fucks sake."
*The Orcs rampage through the top of the closed gates, persuing fights with the Elven guards.*
Bofur: "Orcs! Watch out!"
Bolg: "Slay them all" (Dark Speech)
*Y/N fires an arrow at him, striking him in the arm*
Y/N: "Take a shower, you STINK."
*Y/N runs towards the fighting dwarves.*
*Kili spots the lever to open the gate.*
Y/N: "NO, STAY PUT. DON'T MOVE KILI."
*Y/N dashes towards him while he gets up to pull the lever.*
Y/N: "NO."
*Bolg pulls out Y/N's arrow from his arm and draws his own, notching it in his bow. He aims it at Kili.*
Y/N: "KILI."
*Y/N lunges towards Kili, pushing him out of the way, the arrow strikes her through the leg. With a gasp she doubles over, clutches onto the lever and pulls it down.*
Y/N: "Ah, fuck."
A/N
For continuance sake, don't read ahead if you want to follow the normal story line. However if you wish to read this as a separate imagine read ahead!
*She gasps and struggles to stand. She bites down on her lip and forces the arrow out, snapping off the feathered end and pulling it out. Kili drags her over the edge of the gate and Y/N slips into a barrel with him below*
Kili: "Y/N! Y/N I'm so sorry I should have listened I-"
Y/N cries out in pain as they tumble down the stream, each knock jolting her wound.
Y/N: "Apologies later. Escape now."
*The company battles the Swarm of Orcs from the stream whilst drifting down the stream, aided by Legolas and his army.*
Thorin: "Anything behind us?"
Nori: "Not that I can see!"
Bofur: "I think we've out run the Orcs."
Thorin: "Not for long. We've lost the current."
Dwalin: "Bombur's half drowned."
Thorin: "Make for the shore! Come on let's go!."
Øin: "Glóin, help me brother."
Kili: "Y/N is hurt. Her leg needs binding."
Y/N Groans quietly before answering.
Y/N: "I'm fine. Not able to die, Just hurts. Better me than Kili. Orc pack on our tail, Need to..
*Y/N grits her teeth*
Need to keep moving."
Thorin: "To where? There's a lake between us and that mountain you need that rest."
Y/N: "A barge, a man will have a boat. Help me up, I'll show you the way. Let's go."
*Kili and Fili lift her up and they hobble away.*
Y/N: "I should do this more often if it means two pretty men will carry me."
Thorin: "I think not. Next time, I will carry you over my shoulder and you will have no say."
*Y/N blinks owlishly.*
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My Incorrect Universe #96
*before courting Thranduil*
Me: *trips on the ground*
Thranduil, scoffing and in a mocking tone : haha, how clumsy, could you be any more foolish?
*later when no one is around*
Thranduil : *stomping the ground* who do you think you are?? WHO IN EVER LOVING VALAR DO YOU-
--Few years later--
Thorin: I can’t believe you talked to Thranduil without getting so much as a glare! Most people can’t even look in his general direction without some kind of threat.
Me: I mean, it would be a little weird if he did. We are engaged after all......
Thorin, who thought he had a chance: “....YOU’RE WHAT?!”
Legolas,a rogue Gimli tucked under his arm pit: YOU'RE WHAT ?!
Haldir and Lindir, from behind the trees: YOU ARE WHAT ??!
Elrond: YOU'RE WHAT ?!
Me: why are YOU shocked?? You watched him propose to me??
Elrond, recalling himself screaming as he witnessed Thranduil get on one knee that day: I'm still recovering from the trauma-
*Legolas still trying to process what I just announced*:
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Imagine getting ready to leave Beorns's home and travel to Mirkwood.
Thorin: "Gandalf, time is wasting."
Beorn: "There is more. Not long past, word spread.. the dead had been seen walking near the High Fells of Rhudaur."
Y/N frowns and meets Beorn's concerned eyes.
Y/N: "The dead you say?"
Beorn: "Is it true? Are there tombs in those mountains?"
Y/N and Gandalf look at each other and think back.
*A memory*
Galadriel: "When Angmar fell... the Men of the North took his body, and all that he had possessed and sealed it within the High Fells of Rhudaur.
Deep within the rock, they buried him.
In a tomb so dark.. it would never come to light."
Gandalf: "Yes. Yes there are tombs up there."
Beorn: "I remember a time when a great evil ruled these lands. One powerful enough... to raise the dead.
Y/N side eyes Gandalf.
Beorn: "If that enemy has returned to Middle Earth... I would have you tell me."
Gandalf: "Saruman the White, says it's not possible."
Y/N: *spits out* "Blast that old man."
Gandalf: *pats Y/N's shoulder reassuring her.* "The enemy was destroyed and will never return."
Beorn: "And what does Gandalf the Grey say?"
*Gandalf shakes his head, unsure.*
Y/N: *Steps forward.* "We must go."
Beorn: "Yes. Go now, while you have the light."
*A howl rings out through the trees*
Beorn: "Your hunters are not far behind."
Y/N: "Thank you Beorn."
Beorn: "No you can't keep one of my puppies."
Y/N: "Fine."
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