#the hobbit shitpost

[thewitchkingiscool-ace]

[kitmdrawsthings]

Thought I’d sum up The Hobbit in one drawing if that’s okay with you guys

[ironmandeficiency]

bilbo, after thorin’s death: i have decided to give up on love and put all of that energy into tomatoes

[watercolorofthemoon]

another good time to post this

[bookworm-with-coffee]

The Hobbit Characters as . . .

Wrong number texts!

(Character as: R = RIGHT side of convo, L = LEFT side of the convo).

______________________________

Bilbo Baggins (R)

* * *

Kili Durin (R)

* * *

Fili Durin (R)

* * *

Thorin Oakenshield (R)

* * *

Dwalin (R)

* * *

Balin (R)

* * *

Bofur (R)

* * *

Nori (R)

* * *

Ori (R)

* * *

Dori (L)

* * *

_____________________________

Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this fest of absurd texts that reminded me of our favourite lads! But, the journey doesn't end here... I have another two posts coming as well!

I hope this made you smile! ❤

[wordbunch]

this shot is SO funny to me

[bilbo-baggins-is-a-fcking-vibe]

things that give me life

kiliel hight difference

gigolas height difference

[entishramblings]

Bard: *lying down and crying*

Thranduil: There, there. Why don’t you take some time off to not be around me while you’re like this?

[quality-street-rat]

y/n: Oh no no no no no, not this time buddy.

Kili: ?????

Y/n: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times...it's back to you again.

Fili: That's not how that works.

Y/n, shaking his finger at Kili: Shame. On. You.

[izzytown]

okay so i had a request to redo my “the fellowship reacts to starbucks” post but with the company (and since this is my niche now, i’m here to provide!)

the premise is mostly the same as the other post, just my silly little headcanons on what the characters would drink at starbucks. i now present to you “the company reacts to starbucks coffee” (part 1/2)

i adore the hobbit, but even though I’ve read the book (and watched the films) a fair number of times, i’m much more well-versed with LOTR characters than i am with those from the hobbit, so bear with me.

note: will not be including gandalf as i’ve already included him in the fellowship’s post - pop over there if you’re curious!

thorin: the grumpy-ass prince himself need not trifle with complicated orders when going to the bux. in fact, i propose he only goes if he’s DRAGGED by his arms and legs by fili and kili during babysitting duty—he gets a dark roast pourover, regardless of what roast is brewed, just because he “respects coffee craft.” you will find him rolling his eyes whenever a frap is ordered, silently mumbling about how his local coffee shop under the lonely mountain is WAY better.

fili: the quieter, more thoughtful sibling, fili is hit or miss on caffeine. if he’s looking for something pretty caffeinated with flavor, i think he goes for an iced brown sugar, toffee nut latte. not too sweet, but very flavorful (just like his personality). if he ain’t feeling a lot of caffeine, he probably gets an iced black tea to have something to sip on while supervising kili's shenanigans. also, he gets a cheese danish as a little snack, it’s canon-

kili: this man is on crack. he’s a kid in a candy store when he walks into starbucks- first off, he gets a birthday cake pop EVERY time without fail (much to thorin’s bank account’s dismay). he’s okay with caffeine, but the taste of coffee is a little much for him, so he cycles through a strawberry açaí lemonade, a vanilla bean frap, a chocolate cookie crumble frap, or an iced chai with cold foam and caramel drizzle. just gallons of pure sugar in a 16oz “coffee” for this guy!

oin: now i know very little about oin, but what I do know is that he seems like he doesn’t give two shits about anyone (respectfully). to me, that sounds like someone who drinks an insane amount of espresso and could care less how long it takes to pull 8 shots. therefore, I propose he drinks a 6-8 shot espresso over ice in a venti cup, with a light splash of cream. the pedro pascal special!

gloin: dark roast is the only acceptable roast of coffee in gloin’s household, how else would gimli acquire his profound appreciation for coffee? gloin tends to go for heavier, powerful drinks, contrasting gimli’s love of a good 'ol cappuccino. gloin’s go-to if there’s no dark roast available is probably a hot black americano with a couple packets of raw sugar, keeping it classic while wanting a drink that packs a punch.

ori: this is the sweetest dwarf you ever did see, and i think his drinks reflect that. not only does he give the vibe of someone who doesn’t drink anything too caffeinated, but he also seems like he has drinks for every season. he’s happy to have a nice chai latte in the autumn, a decaf peppermint white mocha for winter, a peach tranquility tea with two honey packets during the spring, and probably a passion tea lemonade (sweetened with liquid cane) during the summer.

dori: he so slays. dori seems like a mom friend to me, rolling his eyes and being a responsible part of the company, so i’m gonna make the executive decision and say he probably gets a typical “mom” drink, which to me is an iced mocha (or black and white mocha) w/ no whip. or maybe a honey citrus mint tea if he’s feeling sick, trying to cut back on sugar (as if it’s any better for you Lmao)

part 2 is available here

[ladytwilla]

I am cackling. I am deceased. I am posting this from the grave. ☠️ @lordoftherazzles is truly a blessing. 🤣🤣🤣

[thewitchkingiscool-ace]

Okay guys i swear this is the last one (it probably won’t be)

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

[ironmandeficiency]

bilbo: i have the highest standards

thorin: what’s the spanish word for “tortilla”?

bilbo, ripping his clothes off: you absolute dumbass

[watercolorofthemoon]

tag yourself! (feel free to send to groupchats and friends!)

Optional: tag yourself in the reblogs and tell me why!

[bookworm-with-coffee]

The Hobbit & Lord of the Rings Characters as . . .

Wrong number texts!

(Part 3)

(Character as: R = RIGHT side of convo, L = LEFT side of convo)

____________________________

Bombur (R)

* * *

Bard (R)

* * *

Eomer (R)

* * *

Thranduil (R)

* * *

_____________________________