#the hobbit inaccurate quotes

[ironmandeficiency]

bilbo, after thorin’s death: i have decided to give up on love and put all of that energy into tomatoes

[elvish-sky]

Legolas : I learned some very valuable lessons from this.

Aragorn: I’m guessing they are all horrible distortions on the lessons you actually should’ve taken away.

Legolas: Death isn’t real, and I’m basically God.

[vildo]

Roses are red

Thorns are hard

They're taking the hobbits

To Isengard

[tatersgonnatate]

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

Gandalf: *secretly collecting all the balrog XP to level up*

Boromir: *dies*

Frodo & Sam: *sharing in a coming of age buddy film plot*

Merry & Pippin: *kidnapped by orcs*

Legolas, Aragorn & Gimli: let’s go hunt some orcs :)

[incorrect-lotr-trash]

Bilbo: Why do good people die young? Sam: Well, when you’re in a garden, what flowers do you pick? Bilbo: The ugly ones Sam: Exac- wait, what? Bilbo: Ugly bitches don’t belong in my garden

[firefoot22]

Love this one sooo much

[arottencrowd]

Nick: Jordan, where are you going?

Jordan: To seek the company of the only one around here who’s got any sense.

Nick: Who’s that?

Jordan: Myself!

[incorrectlumityquotes]

Why Amity fell for Luz: A Theory

Watching all the episodes of The Owl House and reviewing them brought back a lot of thoughts and feelings that I maybe forgot about. We all ship things and sometimes we do it for fun; sometimes for deeper reasons. I just started lumity because it reminded me of Diana & Akko from Little Witch Academia. I loved that show so much that I wanted more, and I thought it would be cool if Luz & Amity did something similar. I had no idea that it was going to go beyond that, so DAMN. To quote a talking science wolf, “For years we ask how, but we should ask why.” I mean, we saw how. But why? Well I can take a guess.

If we’re are going to start anywhere it’s going to be with the girl in question, Amity Blight.

As far as I know as of this typing, Amity Blight is a witchling from The Boiling Isles. She lives in Bonesboro at The Blight Manor estate with her parents and her siblings. She attends Hexside School of Magic and Demonics. Good for her.

Amity has an ambitious and competitive personality. She’s always striving to be better and be at the top of whatever she is doing. When she’s introduced in I Was a Teenage Abomination, she’s showing having great pride in being the top student in her abomination class. In Adventures in the Elements, she goes to The Knee in hopes of training to beat her siblings’ high score on the placement exam.

Amity also has a bit of a temper and gets annoyed easily. In I Was a Teenage Abomination, she sics her abominations on Willow and Luz just because she wasn’t named top student that day. In Enchanting Grom Fright, Amity snapped at the person she bumped into before realizing it was Luz. And later in the same episode, Amity beat up Hooty when he decided to get too close.

But she does have a soft sensitive side. She keeps a diary in her secret room in the library and even reads to kids in her free time. Amity also has a strong sense of integrity. She despises cheating (and cheaters) and feels guilt when she’s forced to break ties with Willow.

So why did someone like this fall for Luz of all people? (see above image)

Enter what I call my Shipping Theory of Compliments

The Shipping Theory of Compliments is that two characters would be shipped and sometimes canonically enter a romantic relationship based on their personalities complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

People like to use the image of a missing puzzle piece, but I don’t like that comparison because I think it’s a little inaccurate and I don’t like puzzles. Think of it more like the two pieces of the yin and yang coming together and then growing the circles of the opposite colors in them.

Something like that.

And it’s compliments, not opposites. When you think compliments, think more Star and Marco from Star vs the Forces of Evil. Star wants to go on a magical adventure. Marco also wants to go on a magic adventure. The difference is that Star goes in recklessly while Marco wants to plan it out a bit. They still have their adventure as oppose to Star’s opposite who wouldn’t want to go on a magical adventure. That sort of thing.

So how do Luz and Amity compliment each other?

Let’s start with that they have in common. Obvious stuff aside, they’re both training to become the best witches they can be. The difference comes that Luz is a human who has to learn magic via glyphs that she finds and Amity learns magic the “proper” way on The Boiling Isles. 

Luz and Amity are also both fans of The Good Witch Azura book series. Difference is that Luz is more open about her fandom while Amity tries to keep it a secret. Also petty thing but they’re both fan artists too, but I think Luz might be a better than Amity. But hey, her crosshatching is improving.

Luz and Amity are also (at the start of the series) both lonely people. Luz’s mom says that she doesn’t have any friends, and Amity doesn’t like her “friends.” The difference is that Luz reaches outward to ease her loneliness (being social and friendly, trying new things, etc.) while Amity reaches inward (keeping a diary, staying busy, having a secret spot, etc.). They both also use escapist fiction to ease their loneliness.

That’s all well and good, but now we get into the real speculative parts. 

...complimenting each other and fulfilling elements they don’t have alone necessary to developing the character.

When I was taking acting classes I was taught that the way you see people act is a persona based on their experiences on what it takes to survive and avoid physical, emotional and social death. So now we have to speculate based on what we were given on what emotional/social needs and wants has Amity not been getting before that she has with Luz.

First let me point you to another show called F is for Family. F is for Family is an adult animated sitcom on Netflix that follows a very dysfunctional family in the 1970s. These are legitimately bad characters, not in terms of being poorly written. What I’m saying is that these guys are assholes. But here’s where it gets interesting.

One of the characters is Kevin Murphy, the teenage son of the family. He’s a dim-witted wannabe rockstar who is always yelled at and put down by his parents throughout the entire series. However in season four Kevin meets Alice. Alice teaches Kevin that his favorite band is a big reference to Tolkien and gives him a copy of The Hobbit. They bond over their love of Lord of the Rings and get along really well. Alice calls him smart for being able to read all of Lord of the Rings over a few days and never puts him down. Even in the one time they did fight she never yelled at him or raised her voice which he found weird because he’s so used to being yelled at. Alice gave Kevin the emotional support he always wanted but never got from his family.

Using that as a backdrop, let’s go back to Amity.

Amity grew up with her parents making her do things she didn’t want to do, making choices for her. Amity wanted to be one way. Her parents wanted something else. Amity’s mother even dyes Amity’s hair green so it matches her siblings. Amity wanted to be friends with Willow. Amity’s parents wanted her to be friends with the mean kids. While Amity does work hard to be the best at what she’s doing, her parents also put pressure on her to make sure that she is at that level. 

Her siblings are another bag of awful. They constantly refer to her by an annoying nickname that I’m guessing has an embarrassing moment attached to it. They seem to live by a double standard that Amity despises. She has to work hard and follow the rules just to be accepted while they are naturally talented and break the rules with everyone still thinking that they’re perfect. 

Family is supposed to provide unconditional love except it looks like the love of the Blights is based on conditions. Nobody just likes Amity for who she is. She doesn’t have a friend.

Enter: the friendliest person she’s ever met

Amity has to struggle and work for the simplest things, even affection. Except when it comes to Luz. Luz is naturally friendly and positive. Amity doesn’t have to earn her kindness. Even when she’s bullied Luz before, Luz is always coming back with a smile. I suppose when you live life surrounded by jerks, you’ll want to hang out with the one person who’s always nice to you. Sort of.

Yes, Amity did think Luz was a bully for constantly getting her into trouble. But even at Covention and Lost in Language, Luz kept reaching out to her. This combined with Amity’s awareness of her own behavior is what convinced her to try to reach out in kind to Luz by the end of Lost in Language. “She’s trying to be nice to me, so I should try too,” I’m guessing is the mindset especially in Adventures in the Elements. And then...Luz continued to be nice to her which is kind of a big deal for Amity.

Let’s tally up what we have so far:

Luz and Amity have similar interests (The Good Witch Azura series, art, fiction, learning magic)

Luz and Amity have similar values (work ethic, disdain for cheating, protecting those closest to you, etc.)

Luz gives Amity the positivity and affection that Amity doesn’t normally get anywhere else

They still have differing personalities with Amity being more competitive and Luz having more of a live-and-let-live attitude.

Even with all these things in mind, why was Amity so scared to ask Luz to Grom?

Speculating again but my theory is that Amity wasn’t sure if Luz actually liked her or if Luz is just friendly because that’s how Luz is. Amity was scared of being rejected because she felt that maybe she was just reading the situation wrong. Luz is this ray of sunshine in her gray skies (if you’ll forgive the cliché). People like Amity always think of all the worst possibilities (I know because I do this too). Amity was probably thinking a bunch of what ifs. “What if Luz doesn’t actually like me? What if she’s just being friendly because she feels sorry for me? What if she has feelings for someone else? What if she never actually liked me? What if she’s straight?”

Luz is Amity’s first crush and it is scary as all hell to put yourself out there like that for the first time. She wasn’t expecting to get married at Grom night. She just wanted to dance with the girl she liked.

The dance at Grom was like confirmation for her that it could happen. Amity didn’t have to ask out Luz because Luz asked her. Being with Luz isn’t a pipedream. It’s a definite possibility. And we all know how she reacted to that idea.

Uh...she’ll be in her bunk.

While Luz and Amity aren’t together as of this typing, I believe it’s bound to happen. Until then, after The Lumity Trilogy, Amity knows that Luz is the girl she likes. 

tl;dr version

Amity fell for Luz because they have similar interests and values, their personalities differ in a compatible way and Luz provides Amity emotional needs and wants that she doesn’t get anywhere else.

Also, round eared girl pretty.

.

Thanks everyone for reading.

[ironmandeficiency]

bilbo: i have the highest standards

thorin: what’s the spanish word for “tortilla”?

bilbo, ripping his clothes off: you absolute dumbass

[elvish-sky]

Fili: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Kili: Not if they consent to it.

Thorin: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Bilbo: YES?!?

[vildo]

Far over the misty mountain hoes

[nocompromise-noregrets]

Thank you for mentioning my Trusty Lads as Favorite Orcs! :) <3 <3 My Hobbit/LOTR asks for you: 29, 31, 35. <3

Well, they are! You made me love them to distraction :D <3333

Yay thank you! Oooh, these are going to take some thought!

29. What is your favourite quote from either the movies or the books? I have to confess that the movies and the books are all smooshed together in my head and I’m actually more familiar with the movies, and aaa I have a zillion favourite bits, but here, have two: Then let us be rid of it... once and for all! Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you! (never fails to make me wail like a child). And, and, AND, because it’s the prophecy on which Very Important Things hinge, and doesn’t get a mention at all in the films beyond a very oblique and inaccurate reference by the Witch-King, Do not pursue him! He will not return to these lands. Far off yet is his doom, and not by the hand of man will he fall. Oh Glorfindel, how I love you. <33333

31. Least favourite part about the franchise? I...don’t think I have one? I have literally no criticisms about how the film adaptations worked - I think they took things that were very difficult to film and did the best job that could be done, and with regard to The Hobbit, they took a fairly thin story and brought all sorts of the Professor’s other writings into it and made it a story on a par with LotR - and I’m sure I read recently that the Professor himself was planning to rewrite The Hobbit in a more LotR-like manner, so I think they did a very worthy job.

Oh. Oh, wait. WAIT. I FORGOT. They LEFT OUT THE TWINS AND GLORFINDEL. That. That right there is my least favourite part. XDDDD

35. Why do you think you were so drawn to the franchise? I honestly don’t know, at this far remove. I was working with someone who was absolutely obsessed with Fellowship, not long after it came out, and though I’d seen it at the cinema I hadn’t been immediately sucked in - but working with her really got me properly into it all, and by the time Two Towers came out, I was HOOKED. We went to conventions and met actors and all sorts of things, and I had a marvellous time - and parallel to that, I got into the online fandom and the world of fanfic and developed about a million headcanons with a friend (hey @myfairprouvaire <3333333 ), most of which we never wrote up XD and there’s just something about the world of Middle-Earth and its inhabitants that just speaks to me. I dropped out of the fandom in about 2004, mostly because it went a bit quiet and I got distracted by the King Arthur movie, and then I sort of pinged around a few other fandoms and (with the exception of the KA fandom and one other) never really felt at home anywhere. Until the remote cast reunion video in June this year catapulted me back and it felt like coming home. 300k words of fanfic later (in my 15-odd years away I gained long-form writing skills, evidently XD ), I feel like it’s the best decision I’ve made in years. I’m happier than I’ve been in almost longer than I can remember, I’m making awesome new friends <333333 and generally having a marvellous time. So...I don’t quite know why, but I’m HOME. <3333333

Any more for any more? Questions are here, and as you’ve probably all gathered by now, I bloody love to talk about this stuff. XDDDD

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

How I imagine an argument between Legolas and Frodo would go regarding Sindarin pronunciation:

Legolas to Aragorn, rolling his r’s: Arrragorrrn, can you please fetch morrre firrrewood?

Frodo, with his book knowledge on Sindarin: why are you speaking like that?

Legolas:

[incorrect-lotr-trash]

Legolas: Making my way downtown. Legolas: Walking fast. Legolas:  Legolas: Walking slightly slower so my steps match up with Gimli's because he’s short.

[elrondsscribe]

Elves, Theology, and Me, a baby Bible student.

Okay. Well. Theology, Christian-talk, Bible talk, and Tolkien’s elves all have their part in this post. Religious freak alert and boring alert. 

Also, some rather personal faith issues I’ve been thinking through a lot lately. Bible bashers and Bible thumpers equally beware.

Still here? Don’t say I didn’t warn you!

What most people don’t remember about Christianity is that it is 1) a hugely diverse and varied tradition and 2) a very old tradition. I don’t know of too many faiths still kicking around in the world today that are as old and as diverse as Christianity, other than Judaism (older) and Islam (a bit younger). So when I talk about having grown up Christian, I may not be or ever have been the kind that you immediately picture when you hear the word - or then again, I might have.

When I say I grew up Christian, what I specifically mean is that I grew up in a Protestant, evangelical, fundamentalist-ish faith community. The way we talked about the gospel is a bit like a sales proposal, probably because nearly all of my pastors’ six brothers were salesmen. Problem: We’re all sinners, including you, and we all deserve eternal torment in hell for our sin. Also, God is perfect and can’t tolerate sin. (Therefore, God can’t go tolerating you in your sin.) Solution: Jesus took (y)our punishment and God’s wrath, so we (you) have a way out of eternal torment. Call to Action: Now choose Jesus, turn to God, verbally admit and renounce your sin, and when you die you’ll get to go to Heaven, not Hell.

{And oh yeah, in the meantime, while you’re still alive and waiting to go to Heaven, make sure you’re Livin’ Right. No drinking, no smoking, no nightclubs, no miniskirts, and for the love of God, no sex outside of (heterosexual, one-to-one, legally and church-ly sanctioned) marriage. Also give your tithes.}

Thing is, I’m also a Tolkien fan. Seriousness level 4-4.5 out of 5. I can’t speak any Elvish languages, and I can’t quote chapters from Unfinished Tales or a volume of the History of Middle-Earth from memory, but I’m fairly familiar with Tolkien’s Arda-related writings outside of just the Hobbit and LOTR. And when I was thinking about how to put together my combined Tolkien and (eventually) MCU universe to write fanfiction in, the insertion of the gospel as I’d always understood it felt very specieist: only a small selection of a certain species, Men, out of all of Tolkien’s peoples were actually Iluvatar’s children and set to experience eternal bliss . . . and the rest were all eventually going to burn?

Yikes. I didn’t want to create a fictional universe like that. (The fact that, minus the Elves and Hobbits and Dwarves, I was actually living in a world like that wasn’t lost on me - I just didn’t have the liberty to explore that.)

Also, Tolkien’s whole world just has such a very pre-Christian feel (it was created to be a mythology, what can I say), and I wasn’t sure how I felt about forcing (modern) post-Christian assumptions on a pre-Christian framework.

(I know it’s a weird sort of thing to do, applying theology to a fictional universe you’re borrowing to write crossover fanfiction in, but hey, welcome to my world. I warned you it’d be weird.)

My first year of college - Christian college - really took me for a ride. You see, in Christian college, you’re asked to take a minimum of two courses in which - get ready for it - you read the Bible in an academic setting (shock! horror! Whoever would have guessed!). And when that happens, you find yourself confronted with the uncomfortable fact that 1) the Bible doesn’t really read like the inerrant textbook/rulebook that it’s often assumed to be, and 2) we as modern readers have the tendency to bring a lot of assumptions to the text and read in a lot of shit that ain’t actually on the page.

After a number of shocks on some issues that I won’t go into now, I got home for the summer and started to fall into the Kindle Sample sinkhole (similar to the YouTube sinkhole). I started peeking into books on theology and ethics that showed me that, at the very least, I wasn’t alone in my new, murkier, less solid and more mysterious mode of Christianity. And what should I happen to fall into but Christian Universalism (Rob Bell’s Love Wins made universalist doctrine popular; the church history he give in it is inaccurate, but it’s still worth a go if you want an easy read to introduce you to the topic). Universalism, or All-Encompassing Divine Love, seemed to mesh much more naturally with a world wherein pre-Christian sensibilities carried the day.

Universalists don’t tend to talk about a transcendent God who is “high above the heavens,” but about a God whose glory they see reflected in the people around them, whom they enjoy in nature’s beauty, and whom they mimic in being creative and productive. It all feels very right in a Tolkienesque world (and really any fictional universe that prizes life and love in the end, MCU included).

More so than “turn or burn” and “heaven/hell after you die” anyway.

Anyway, what I’m trying to say is that my changing theology, and my newfound passion for biblical studies, are directly affecting both my ‘real-world’ sensibilities and my fanfic writing. And the way I interact with Tolkien’s universe in general.

Not that I think for a second that Tolkien was a universalist - heavens no! He just created a mythological world in which Divine Love really fits.

“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.” - Saint Julian of Norwich, approx. 14th century.

. . . well, I told you this would be weird.