#Toby's been going for about a week now and the difference in them is already amazing

[mugglesauce]

.

[lionlena]

Unforgivable mistake (JoelMillerxreader) Part 12

Summary: Reader is much younger than Joel and is in love with  him. One night, after arguing with Tess and getting drunk, Joel spends  the night with a reader, but in the morning he breaks her heart…  She  runs away from Boston hoping that she will never meet this cold bastard  again in her life. But almost six years later, she unexpectedly sees  Joel in Jackson. She decides to hide herself and her little secret from  this asshole.

Warnings: age gap (reader is about 28 years, Joel 58),  strong language, swearing, past trauma, bullying, attempted rape, memories of sexual abuse, unprotect p in v,  dom!Joel, Joel is asshole, ANGST, hurt, sadness and heartbreaking, sexual harassment, women abuse, violence, injury, sickness, misunderstanding, breakdown

A/N: So, these were your decisions:

However, for people who still do not want to read the sex scene, the text will be marked in red.

Part 12

You always liked Christmas. You liked the Christmas atmosphere and searching and making gifts. Your heart always swelled with joy as you decorated the Christmas tree with your little boy. You were happy when you visited Anna and Toby just before or a few days after Christmas and they greeted you with sweet treats. And now it seemed like the holidays were going to be even better after Joel and Ellie joined your family. Not to mention that the Christmas holidays also took on new colors for Teddy. You saw him whispering with Ellie and Joel and you suspected it was about a gift for you. It was so sweet.

You had also started exchanging other things for gifts a few weeks earlier because that's how it worked in Jackson. People traded things for other items or small services.

You managed to get new colorful books for Teddy, one of them presented different breeds of horses in a humorous way. You found a hunting knife for Ellie. You knew Joel wouldn't be happy about this, but in the end, what mattered was her happiness. You made a warm scarf for Claudia in her favorite color. And you found new leather gloves for Joel. You knew it was something he would definitely come in handy on patrols.

But before Christmas, you realized that maybe you would be able to give him one more gift… Something more intimate.

It was like an epiphany. The kids decorated the Christmas tree with Joel. Teddy was in a mischievous mood and started wrapping his dad in Christmas chains. Joel laughed and started joking about being immobilized. And you just stood in the doorway with your eyes wide open. It was a missing piece that suddenly fell into place.

"Honey, help, please!" Joel's voice broke you out of your trance and you joined in their fun with a smile, but the sight of Joel tied up did not disappear from your mind.

A few days later, on Christmas morning, everyone got their presents. You were happy to see the joy on the faces of your loved ones. You haven't been forgotten either. The kids gave you horse-shaped cookies and a colorful bracelet, and Joel gave you a necklace with a horseshoe pendant. You were touched by their efforts.

The whole day passed in a joyful atmosphere. You went for a walk with the kids and took part in a big snowball fight in the middle of the city. To your surprise, even Joel joined. And of course, he was targeting Tommy and Ellie. It was adorable because he suddenly looked 20 years younger and you knew you would remember this sight forever.

In the evening you ate a delicious dinner, and when Teddy went to bed and Ellie was busy reading a book in her room, you finally decided to give a special gift to Joel.

He was sitting on the couch with a steaming mug of tea with honey and bourbon. You sat down next to him, holding your mug and the rectangular box in your hand. Joel raised his eyebrows.

"What's that?"

You set your mug on the coffee table and placed the box on his lap.

"Gift."

Joel followed you and set his cup down as well.

"I already got a gift from you and I am very pleased with it."

"I know but… it's something different… something special and I don't know if you'll agree to it."

You waked his curiosity and he couldn't help himself anymore and he opened the box. The contents of the box surprised him. Inside was a rope, a wide dark ribbon, and a key. Joel looked at you with a surprised puppy face.

"Sorry, baby, but I don't really know what to do with this. It's… really… interesting but…"

His attempts not to offend you were amusing. You couldn't help but peck him on the cheek.

"I'm already explaining everything to you. I accidentally realized what could help me break through my trauma and make love with you."

Joel gasped and sat up straight. You had his full attention.

"Oh…"

"You know, I'm most afraid of losing control… being vulnerable again… I know you've changed and I believe you won't take advantage of it, but it's stronger than me."

Joel grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips, kissing your fingers.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. I know I deserved this lack of trust… And I'm grateful to you for giving me a second chance."

He looked at the contents of the box again and slowly began to guess what you wanted to do.

"So, do you want to tie me up?"

When he said this, you couldn't help but blush.

"Only hands…"

"Okay. And this." He ran his fingers along the navy blue ribbon.

"To cover your eyes."

A smirk appeared on his face.

"This is getting interesting. And the key?"

"To an old house on the outskirts of town. I was borrowing it from Tommy. I told him we wanted to see the house because it was bigger and see if you could renovate it… But what I really wanted was for us to have a quiet place where we could hide out during the day "

Joel smiled widely and pulled you into his lap. You squealed in surprise but didn't mind. You sat up facing him and placed your hands on his strong shoulders.

"You have thought of everything, my Angel."

You smiled and felt his strong hands caress your hips.

"So you agree to this?" you asked shyly.

You weren't really sure if Joel would agree to give up his dominance. But looking at his satisfied face, you slowly gained hope.

"Of course, I agree. If it's something that will help you get over trauma, I agree with everything. It's something new for me but… I'm 100% for it."

You sighed in relief and leaned against his body. Joel kissed your temple and whispered:

"But remember, I don't want you to put pressure on yourself. I still stand by what I said. I love you whether we have sex or not."

His words filled you with peace. You leaned down and pressed your nose into his neck, inhaling his scent.

"I love you," you whispered and felt Joel hug you tighter.

Two days later, you and Joel agreed to meet at the old house at noon. Teddy was supposed to be with Claudia, Emily, and Rose until the evening, and Ellie would go about her business.

Joel had gone to the old house earlier, lit a fire in the living room, and spread blankets on the floor. He didn't want to tell you this so as not to upset you, but he felt as anxious as a teenager.

You were nervous too. Your heart was beating like crazy as you crossed the threshold and locked the door. You knew no one would disturb you there, but you wanted to be sure.

Joel immediately greeted you with a smile and walked over to you. He kissed your lips and helped you take off your jacket. He grabbed your hand and led you toward the fireplace.

You sat down on the blanket and took a deep breath.

"So, how do we start?"

Joel placed his large hand on your cheek.

"Slow down, Sweetheart. We have a few hours. Let's take our time."

Joel squeezed your hand comfortingly and murmured,

"I got the wine."

You smiled and nodded. You were glad that Joel was being responsible this time and he wasn't rushing to anything.

You sat next to each other on the floor, leaning on the couch. Joel handed you a glass of wine and kissed your temple.

"Is it warm enough?"

"Yes," you replied and took a sip of wine. The alcohol warmed you up even more.

The whole house was cold, but you were warm enough when you were this close to the fireplace.

After some time, you felt Joel's hand caressing your thigh. He did it gently and slowly and focused his full attention on your reaction.

Despite your initial tension, you slowly started to relax. Joel leaned down and started nibbling on your neck, and a soft sigh escaped your lips. Joel smiled and tightened his grip on your thigh.

"Is everything okay, Honey?"

You nodded even though you felt a little anxious and took a shaky breath. Joel sensed it immediately and moved his hand away.

"Do you want to tie my hands now?"

You were surprised by how willing he was to give you the power. You smiled and stroked his hair. You set your wine glasses aside.

"Can you lie on your back?"

Joel immediately obeyed your command as if you had some magical power over him.

You reached for the box that was still lying on the couch. Joel prepared everything. You pulled out the rope and Joel folded his hands over his chest.

He looked at you with excitement. He really liked your idea and that gave you confidence. You moved closer to him and tied his wrists together.

"Not too tight?" you asked with concern.

You didn't want your comfort to be discomfort for him. You believed that wasn't what love was about. You also didn't want to take revenge on him for what happened in Boston. This wasn't what your relationship was supposed to be built on.

"It's perfect, Darling," Joel replied with a smile to encourage you. "Continue…"

You smiled and started unbuttoning his shirt. You pulled the fabric up and kissed his belly. Joel growled quietly.

"God…"

You giggled quietly and did it again, deciding that it wouldn't hurt to tease him a little. Joel tensed his abdominal muscles and looked at you in awe.

His eyes were shining and for a moment you even regretted that you were going to cover them. You reached for a blindfold and wrapped it around his head.

You kissed his forehead and then whispered:

"Do you see anything?"

A shiver ran through his body as he felt your breath on his ear.

"Nothing…" He managed to croak out.

You smiled and looked at his pants, which already showed a bulge. Apparently, you've discovered some forgotten Joel’s fetish.

"All right." you purred and sat on his legs, then unzipped his fly and looked at his face. You grabbed his pants and the waistband of his boxers.

"Can I?"

Joel lifted his hips, giving you a clear signal to pull the fabric down.

"I beg you."

You giggled and with his help, you pulled down his pants and boxers.

Your eyes locked on his semi-hard cock. You swallowed and touched him, causing him to hiss softly.

You couldn't help yourself. You didn't really get a chance to look at him the first time.

Now you had plenty of time and full power, and that excited you. You felt yourself getting wet and you were filled with joy. Your plan worked. You felt no fear. You didn't panic. Joel was at your mercy and he liked it.

You supposed he could have freed his hands if he wanted to, but that was the point. Joel wanted your needs to be important, not his.

Before you could start touching him, you got up from his legs and took off your pants and panties.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"What do you think?"

"You're undressing… I heard the belt buckle… you know you have beautiful thighs…"

You rolled your eyes and you knelt by his hips. You grabbed his cock but he suddenly jumped.

"Wait!"

You looked at him in surprise and your heart skipped a beat. Has he changed his mind? He didn't want to give you control?

"You don't want to do this without preparation…"

You breathed a sigh of relief and your heart warmed with his concern.

"Don't worry… I'll get ready."

Joel groaned like a disgruntled puppy.

"Why should you do it alone when you have me…"

You frowned. Was Joel trying to change the rules of the game?

"Your hands are tied."

A deep chuckle escaped from his chest.

"But you didn't gag my mouth."

"What?"

If Joel wasn't wearing the blindfold, you'd see him looking at you with a look: Really?

"You don't mean to tell me that Steve has never eaten you."

At that moment, you were glad that Joel couldn't see your red face.

"He did, but never… in a position like this."

A sly smile appeared on his face.

"Then I'll do it even more willingly… come on, sweetie… don't be shy and sit on my face. You won't regret it."

His voice was dripping with lust and your breathing quickened. You felt that this way you would completely dominate him. It was too tempting not to take advantage of it.

Finally, you slowly knelt over his face with your knees on either side of his head. He placed his tied hands on your lower back and pushed you closer to him. You gasped at the moment his lips touched your slippery lips. His mouth immediately covered your pussy. His tongue began to circle your clit. You moaned softly and grabbed his hair. His stubble caused this burning, pleasant feeling on the inside of your thighs. Joel purred until you felt a vibration against your cunt. As his thick tongue pushed into you, you couldn't help but moan loudly. You began to move your hips, your clit rubbing against his curved nose that you had never been more grateful for. Joel devoured you like a hungry dog. Slurping sounds filled your ears.

"Ah… Joel… Joel!"

You arched your back, your thighs trembling, and your orgasm hit you with such force that you were afraid you were going to collapse all your weight on his face.

Joel smiled and slowly pulled his tongue out of you. He licked up your juices and kissed your thighs before helping you move aside.

You were so delighted that you leaned in and kissed him on the lips, tasting yourself. His hands tangled in your hair.

"Now… Now you're ready." he purred, not hiding the satisfaction in his voice.

It took you a moment to catch your breath, but you finally sat on his legs and wrapped your hand around his semi-hard, thick cock, and started stroking it, exploring every vein with your fingertips.

He squirmed and moaned. His cock was now standing proud and Joel hissed.

"Baby…" his voice was hoarse. "I don't want to spoil your fun, but if you don't stop… In a moment I won't be at your disposal anymore."

You giggled and hovered over him.

"I see. You've been waiting for this for a long time."

You slowly sat on his cock. You hissed, feeling that familiar burning sensation as he stretched you. You never forgot it… Although that memory was obviously negative. It was different now. Then in Boston, he was drunk and didn't care about your feelings or comfort. Now you were partners, two people with a strong bond.

Joel gasped and brushed his hands against your thighs.

"Ahhh… Baby… You're wonderful. You're the most wonderful woman in the whole damn world."

You smiled and placed your hands on his chest. Your hips moved up and down. You weren't in a hurry, you didn't have to. You were in complete control of everything and Joel didn't complain. You heard his deep growls and saw his breathing quicken. At that moment you felt something new… A new chapter in your relationship has opened. You trusted him.

When you felt yourself getting closer to your second orgasm, you moaned loudly and quickened your pace even more. Joel grabbed your thigh with his tied hands as much as he could. His grunts became even deeper. But at some point, he bit his lip, he was getting closer to coming, but he didn't want to do it before you… He couldn't.

But you didn't hold back. You reached between your legs with one hand and started rubbing your clit. Your moans became even louder.

"Ahhh! Ahhh… Honey!"

And so you reached your second climax. You collapsed onto his chest and Joel groaned softly.

"Y/n… Baby… I'm too close…"

Joel started moving his hips and you heeded his warning. The lack of condoms in the post-pandemic world sucked. You hadn't talked about this part of your relationship, but you both seemed to realize that it was too early to think about having a second child.

You slowly pulled out of him and laid down next to him. You decided to help him and grabbed his swollen, throbbing cock with your hand. Joel made an almost animalistic, primal sound. After fasting for so long, he didn't need much. Just a few movements of your hand was enough and he came, and gushing sperm covered his belly and reached his shirt.

While Joel was still breathing heavily, you couldn't help but start licking his skin.

"Jesus!"

His flaccid cock twitched even though there was no chance of it getting hard again.

You giggled and pulled away, once you had licked most of the semen off you looked at him with affection and started to untie his hands.

When his hands were finally free, Joel immediately removed the blindfold. His eyes had to get used to the light again, but he still looked at you with admiration and devotion.

"Hi…" he croaked and brushed his hand against your cheek. "I missed your beautiful face."

You smiled and placed your head on his chest. His hand started stroking your back.

"Did you like it?" you asked and looked into his eyes.

You didn't need a verbal response. It was enough for his lips to curve into a wide smile and his eyes to sparkle.

"That was amazing…" His hand started caressing your hip. "But the more important question is, did you like it? Was everything okay?"

You snuggled closer to his body. His concern only proved to you how much he had changed since Boston.

"Yes. I'm fine. I feel very good… Do you think we can do it this way for now?"

You felt a little uneasy asking about it again. You didn't know if Joel would consider tying his hands a one-time thing.

Joel nodded and kissed your head.

"Of course, Sweetheart. I'm proud of you for fighting your trauma… We will do everything slowly. At your pace and on your terms."

His words were like a soothing balm for your soul.

You closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat.

"Maybe next time we'll try without the blindfold?"

Joel also closed his eyes and smiled. He pulled you closer to him.

"Whatever you want. With or without a blindfold. It doesn't matter to me as long as you feel safe and comfortable with me."

You took a deep breath and felt sleepy. The fire was still burning in the fireplace, Joel's body was warm, and his voice sounded like a lullaby. You yawned and murmured sleepily:

"Can we take a nap?"

Joel chuckled quietly. He found you so cute when you were sleepy.

"I'd love to take advantage of this opportunity. We still have a few hours."

Joel covered you both with a blanket and buried his face in your hair. It wasn't long before you were both dozing off. *

The next day, when you were driving together to Anna and Toby, you had a blissful smile on your faces. You kept glancing at each other. Whenever your horse rode next to Joel's horse, he immediately placed his hand on your thigh.

You two heard a long groan behind you.

"There are children here."

Joel laughed and rolled his eyes. He looked at Ellie, who was riding with Teddy.

"You keep saying you're an adult. So just one kid and…" Joel smirked and placed his hand on your hip. "We're just showing affection. It's nothing bad."

Ellie snorted.

"Yeah, right… That's why you've been so happy since yesterday. Find a room."

Teddy started laughing happily.

"Ellie, Daddy, and Mommy have their own room at Grandpa's."

Ellie patted his head.

"You'll understand when you get older."

You looked at them and smiled. You loved the little fights between the teenage girl and Joel and the way Ellie took care of Teddy.

Suddenly Joel stopped your horses and you looked at him in surprise. You were practically at Anna and Toby's house. But when you realized what it was about, your heart trembled. From a distance, it was obvious that something was wrong. There was a trail of blood in the snow leading to an open door. The front windows were broken.

You didn't think much, your instincts just kicked in. You jumped off your horse and shouted:

"Anna, Tob…"

Joel was equally fast. He grabbed you from behind and pressed his hand to your mouth.

"Shhh…" he growled. "We don't know who is there."

You looked at him with tears in your eyes. You realized he was right. Your behavior was irrational. You nodded and he released you.

Meanwhile, Ellie was hugging the worried little boy. Joel walked up to her and gave her the reins of his horse.

"Hide among the trees."

Teddy looked at him and whimpered.

"Where are the grandparents?"

Joel wanted to hug him, but instead, he rubbed his shoulder soothingly and said sympathetically,

"Don't worry, 'bear cub'. Me and mom will check everything."

Joel tried to stay calm even though he suspected the worst.

He walked up to you and handed you his handgun while he took the shotgun.

"You're following me. If something goes wrong, you jump on your horse and you all run back to Jackson. Without turning back. You understand!"

His voice was so stern and commanding that all you could do was nod and hold back the tears that wanted to escape from your eyes.

Joel sighed, he didn't want to be so hard on you. He cupped your head in one hand and kissed your forehead.

"Okay. Let's go."

Slowly, tense, and focused, you approached the house. The surroundings seemed deserted. You felt your heart in your throat. You glanced at the open door and the trail of blood leading into the house. You heard Joel's voice:

"I'll check the house…"

When he disappeared into the house, you had the impression that time stopped. You felt fear and despair wash over you. Anna and Toby were like parents to you. You couldn't lose them like this. Tears began to flow down your cheeks.

Finally, Joel left. He still looked focused and ready to fight.

"Nothing," he muttered.

"What?" you croaked.

Joel stepped closer and wiped away your tears with his thumb.

"No one is there. There are no bodies… Someone must have been there… The house looks ransacked, but… Anna and Toby may still be alive."

You felt the world spinning around you. You didn't know if it was all real or if you were stuck in some nightmare.

"What happened here?"

Your question hung unanswered in the frosty air.

Taglist: @casa-boiardi @noisynightmarepoetry @ihavetwoholesforareason @sloanexx @creedslove @orcasoul @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @i-workwithpens @milla-frenchy @liatome @jojo-munson @pascalislove @goldenhxurs @elliaze @aestheticangel612 @cheyxfu @prestinalove @stevengmybeloved @faith-alons26 @harriedandharassed @this--is--music @joeldjarin @elliaze @ajeff855 @anislabonis-love @quality-lust @sarahhxx03 @sofiparallel @misshoneypaper @simplyreading96 @ilovetaquitosmmmm @softstarlite @missladym1981 @heartpascalispunk @brujademente @littleshadow17 @emmathetrash

Pernament tag list: @harriedandharassed

Yes, I know, this cliffhanger is… Ugh… But I promise that this time the next chapter will appear much faster so I won't leave you in suspense for a long time.

Part 11

Part 13

[pinetrees-in-the-water]

Slender mansion headcanons?

Aight anon you didnt mention who to write for so I'm gonna write about all my favs, also this will be infuenced by my personal rewrite so I hope you dont mind!!

(Charcters included: Jeff, Ben, Nina, Toby, EJ, Clockwork, Jane, Masky/Tim, The Operator and a hint of Laughing Jack)

I'll make a part 2 as soon as I can because I have way too many thoughts about the Mansion to fit in one post.

Thank you for the ask!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

◇Slender Mansion Headcanons◇

◇Part 1◇

• Actual fucking chaos

• Thank god the Mansion is so deep in the woods because they would have been reported for SEVERAL noise complaints.

• Ben and Jeff usually play videogames late into the night (usually old PS2 titles, horror or multiplayer games) and Jeff has almost 0 voice control.

• So Tim (or Jane) usually has to barge in and yell at them to keep it down, not that he sleeps much anyways but theyre annoying and Nina is a light sleeper.

• Ben, Clockwork and Tim are all insomniacs so they usually all play board games or go for long drives together, Ben has successfully gotten them into dnd.

• Ben is pretty bad at taking care of himself because he just kinda....forgets due to his ADHD so everyone in the mansion gives him their little reminders or help out.

• Whether its Nina brushing his hair, Jane bringing him dinner when he forgot to eat or Toby essentially throwing him in the shower (never the bathtub his phobia of deep water is too strong and everyone in the mansion is mindful of it)

• Nina, Jeff and Ben all have movie nights every Tuesday. Occasionally the other members of the mansion will join them if the're free but they all have different hunting schedules set by The Operator.

•Nina screams at every jumpscare in a horror movie, her screams are so loud that EJ can hear it from the basement.

• The Operator himself doesn't live in the Mansion although it is his. Hes rarely seen or heard from, only leaving notes around the house. The only one really fond of him is Nina.

• The Operator usually leaves breakfast on the table in the morning for all of them, Clockwork has a small feeling that he doesn't like Jeff because his eggs are never done the way he likes.

• Speaking of Clockwork, the only people she really relaxes around are Toby and EJ, otherwise shes the resident strong, scary, silent type. Ben was low-key scared of her at first but theyre cool now.

• She has major anger issues so his fears are validated, she mostly does a good job of hiding it and generally is very friendly although her bluntness comes of as being mean sometimes.

• EJ and Clockwork usually give each other book and audio drama podcast reccomendations. They're so comfortable around each other that everyone though they were dating at first (They're not).

• EJ was studying to be a surgeon before he got into this mess, his skills carried over and he acts like the in house doctor for the mansion, frequently gets annoying at Tim's smoking.

• EJ honestly spends more time in his lab in the basement than his actual room, he doesn't let many people down there for "sanitation" reasons but everyone else knows its just to keep the teenagers from being more traumatized than they already are.

• Nobody goes into the attic as The Clown (Laughing Jack) lives there, they're all a little afraid of him but he only leaves and enters the room through the attic so hes never seen in the rest of the house.

• Jane had to go into the attic to speak to The Clown once on instruction of The Operator and acted out of character for the rest of the week, keeping all the cupboards and wardrobes in her vicinity open at all times.

• Jane and Tim are often regarded as "The Parents" of the Mansion as they're the oldest, both being in their mid to late 30s, everyone MOSTLY respects them enough to listen.

• Nina treats Clockwork and Jane like big sisters and often finds every excuse to tag along and spend time with them, usually ends up rambling about random fanfiction or a new show she's watching while they listen.

• Clockwork and Toby are like Ben and Jeff just older. Two peas in a pod, they go everywhere together and Clockwork becomes a little more unhinged around him. They've been hiding a stolen stoplight in Toby's room for 3 months and nobody has noticed yet.

• Toby and Jeff either get along a little too well or are fist fighting there is no in between. They're both loose canons. Nobody can tell if they're friends or hate each other.

• Toby and Nina both get along well as they're able to understand and read each other better than the other mansion members due to their shared experience having bpd.

• Toby often accompanies Nina on missions and looks out for her, similar to an older brother, and Nina goes on frequent trips with him to help bring firewood for the Mansion.

• They have their moments but overall everyone gets along pretty well.

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

It's time they knew (Tobin Heath x Reader)

Based on this request. I'm sorry for how long this has taken me to finish, but I hope you like it!

I'm slowly working my way through my requests. Things might take a little while now that I'm studying for the next couple of months and it's getting closer to winter which is the busy season at work. Please bear with me!

Words: 1.6k

Tobin and I were kicking the ball around as I told her about my plans to reveal my identity. I was predominately a soccer player, but I was also a singer. No one knew who I was, no one knew I was the person behind anónima. We did songs ranging from pop to country, millions of people followed us, came to our concerts and bought our music, but no one knew who I was, who my band was. It had started as a way to put my music out there without drawing attention because I had massive stage fright. However, I was starting to entertain the idea of revealing who I was. 

"Are you sure about this baby? It's going to bring a lot of attention."

"I think so, I mean I already get attention and I'll get even more once I start with the team and when we go public. It feels like it's time, but I'll decide for sure tomorrow."

"Whatever you decide, I'll support you 100%. Can I bring the team? I know you're starting with us next week, but I would love for them to finally meet you as my girlfriend. If you decided to reveal yourself that it. Also they love you."

"Of course you can Toby. I would love to finally meet the team properly." Due to mostly playing internationally and only recently deciding to return to the US, I hadn't been called up until now. Not that I really minded too much, I was only 26, there would be the opportunity for plenty more camps in my career. It did mean I hadn't really met any of the national team. I guess it would be good to meet them before camp. 

My concerts had always worked on a trust sort of system. I didn't wear a mask or anything. The stage was dark, only just light enough that my band could see, but no one could see them. I stood at the back, away from the light. All it would take was a torch or light source to reveal our identities. Over the years I had gotten more comfortable on a stage and with my fans. Moving around and interacting with them more. I still hadn't decided if I was going to reveal myself, but the stage crew knew that if I moved to a certain point on the stage then they would turn the lights on. Of course I had also discussed it with my band since they weren't known either. They had left it up to me to decide which made it even harder. 

As I sung the first couple of songs, I watched the crowd dance and sing along. Seeing the happiness on peoples faces and knowing it was because of us was my favourite part of concerts. I found myself wishing I could join in dancing around and interacting with them more, instead of trying to stay in an area they wouldn't see me. 

Once the song ended, I spoke up, "Let's talk for a minute. I wanted to thank each and everyone of you for coming out and supporting us even though you have no idea who we are. None of this would have happened without you guys. So, as a way of thanking you, here's a new song I've been working on."

I always thought I'd be a rambling girl Living in the moment, never making plans Finding love was just a dream I was having Written in the movies, never thought it would happen

I try to fill my loneliness with whiskey And empty nights with different girls that never missed me Funny how when you least expect it Everything can change

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for

During the brief instrumental, I took a deep breath, moving forward on the stage. As I started singing the next line the stage lit up, cheers and screams louder than I had ever heard filled the stadium. 

You know I love it when your hair's a mess The way you shine when you wear that dress Girl, I don't think that you understand You make me a better person

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for

Just like blue on the sea Our love won't fade, it's evergreen Girl, the best part of me Is you

My attention was solely on Tobin as I sung the last verse. None of this would be happening if it wasn't for her. My first concert would never have happened without her encouragement and support. The many nights spent with her sitting quietly beside me as I wrote new songs because she knew it helped calm my mind enough to let my ideas flow. She had been by my side through it all, without hesitation or judgement. 

Baby, it's you I've been looking for I knew right from the second you came walking through that door It feels so right when you're in my arms Darling, it's you I've been looking for I sat down on the edge of the stage, taking a moment to compose myself as the cheering started to die down. "Surprise! That happened. Honestly, I was kind of torn about doing this. The secrecy behind it makes it fun, it keeps things interesting, but I also wanted to do something to thank you for the unwavering support I receive. Enough of my droning on though, I think it's time to introduce myself. I'm Y/n, behind me I have my amazing band. Guys, give a wave with your name so they know who you are. We've got Jason, Mason, yes they're twins, last but not least we have Abby. Thank you for coming to our show. Stick around because we're just getting started."

---

The show had ended a little while ago. The band and I had finished our post show debrief and showers. They had gone to pack up their gear while I waited for Tobin. She was going to wait for the crowd to calm down before making her way out the back with the team. I had played with or met a few of them through club matches in the limited time I played in the states, but a lot of my professional career was international. 

Before my nerves could grow any further, voices from down the hall caught my attention, "Tobin what's going on? I don't think we're allowed back here."

"Just wait and see."

I laughed to myself at the irritation lacing Tobin's voice before the nerves started rising again. I could sing in front of thousands of people without worrying, but I was terrified to meet them. They were important to her, they were going to be my team soon and I wanted to make a good impression. I took a deep breath, before putting on a smile as the numerous girls walked through the door, most of them freezing when they saw me. 

Tobin wrapped her arms around me, placing a kiss on my lower neck, "You did amazing, I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you my love."

"Wha-" One of the girls started but cut herself off. I chuckled quietly, pulling away from Tobin. 

Christen hugged me quickly. With her being Tobin's bestfriend, I had met her pretty early on in our relationship. We got along great, but she also didn't know about my singing career, "Well this is a surprise."

"Yeeah, sorry I didn't tell you soon-"

"You don't need to apologise Y/n. I get it."

I was reminded of the people behind me when the sound of slapping started. Many of the girls still looked stunned, while a few of them were hitting each other and pointing at me. It was actually quite entertaining, but I decided to speak up and put them out of their misery, "Hey, I'm Y/n."

"Don't just stand there, introduce yourselves." Tobin spoke up making some of the girls snap out of it and introduce themselves one at a time. Then they launched into multiple different questions, "Slow down, you'll be seeing Y/n often. You don't have to ask a million questions right now."

"Wait what? How? Why?'

"Y/n is my girlfriend and she's the newest addition to the team as of next week."

"She is?" Emily asked still looking like a deer in headlights, "You're a soccer player?"

"Yes."

"You've known who she is and you didn't tell us? We talk about her all the time."

Tobin shrugged, arm wrapping around my waist, "It wasn't my place to tell you who she was. I know you love her music, but just remember Y/n will be your teammate and friend, don't just treat her like the singer you love."

"We will, it's great to meet you Y/n. Although I think we've played against each other a couple of times."

"You too Ali. I'm pretty sure we have, quite a few years ago now."

We talked for a while. The girls getting all the questions they had about me as a singer before moving on to questions about Tobin and I, my soccer career and anything else they could think of. I was a bit surprised how fast they went from being amazed at meeting me to just treating me like someone on the team. Honestly, it was a relief. I had been worried about how they would react and treat me if they knew who I was. I guess that was another thing I should be thanking Tobin for. The band had come and talked with us for a while before we all parted ways. There was only so much social interaction I could handle. With the show and meeting the team, I was exhausted. 

I crawled into bed as soon as we got back to our apartment while Tobin went to shower. Arms wrapped around me from behind as I was on the verge of sleep. "I'd say that went pretty well."

All I could do was mumble out a 'it did' before pulling Tobin closer. I could feel Tobin laughing as she placed a kiss on my cheek, "I love you baby."

[iansolko]

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT CHALLENGE 8: WHAT IF

Instead of one what-if, have five of varying lengths in answer TW: animal death and people death (both old age).

What if Lenjamin had never approached Ian while he was sleeping in space?

Ian wouldn’t know anything different, and would still be out there sleepin.’  Honk shoo mimimimimi

What would happen if Ian and Len had never been arrested?

Len was fond of Ian, yes, but was becoming steadily bored and already looking for an out, but stayed around to help Ian learn to be on Earth out of obligation.  Since he was the one that brought Ian to Earth in the first place.  The [failed] heist happened to come about at the right time for him, and if it didn’t, Len would have likely woken up one day and decided to leave with the same amount of energy: A quick goodbye, a quick apology.

What if Ian never phased to leave jail, like Lenjamin did?

Then he would have probably been sentenced to prison, if thinking about the severity levels of the heist itself.

What if Ian wasn’t a virgin?

If he were to have lost it with anyone he felt comfortable with in the past, it would have been Tobie.  But he was scared enough just confessing that he loved him, so taking that further step was almost impossible.  He was close to coming around to opening up to Tobie about it, but then inevitable shit went down.

Before that, Ian had always been very go with the flow, do as he’s told, down for just about anything.  If someone wanted to convince him, he could have been convinced.  But no stranger or short term fling had ever been convincing enough.

What if Ian and Beverly had never found the Qraxoldov and remained on Earth?

Ian knew the streets were no place for a lovely cat like Beverly to remain on, no matter how accustomed to it she was.  But Ian had no identity, no SS number, so that made it near-impossible to be employed somewhere stable, let alone make enough to get housing in New York.  Ian would have little to no other option but to leave the city.

He contacts his old best friend Rory, who is living out in the Midwest with his now wife, catches up with him, and explains that he is looking for a place to work and live.

Rory and his wife are now owners/managers of a shop that sells engine parts and tractors, and offers him a job as a sales representative.  Obviously this is a far cry from what Ian is used to, but he will take whatever he can get.  And this way, Rory is back in his life again.

Moving is quite a bit harder with a cat (Before he could simply become incorporeal and move around the Earth with no issue) but he takes a bus and makes it to the small town.  He stays with Rory and his wife for a few months while getting funds and also accustomed to his new life, then is able to secure a rental house to live in.

Ian and Rory form up their old band McGriddle again, and they perform at the bars in the area from time to time.

Being under constant scrutiny from humans, Ian doesn’t shift for years and years.  His body ages.

When Beverly passes away after a long and full life of 17 years, a devastated Ian has nothing holding him down any longer, but he’s also satisfied with his life, and doesn’t leave.  He is an uncle to Rory’s children, and a fixture in their small town community through the friends he made and the many clubs and councils he joined because he can’t say no.

At one point Ian meets and falls in love with a woman who never quite matches his energy and devotion, but does love him and wants to settle and start a family.  It’s when Ian is weeks from proposing that it occurs to him: they can never have children.  Ian knows that obviously it’s possible for his species to have children, but these hypothetical children would be part his species, and the secret would inevitably get out at some point.  And also, Ian had no identity.  They can't legally get married.

He tells his partner this in vague terms without divulging his status.  This creates a large rift between them, resulting in a terrible breakup.

Ian decides after this, that it’s better to stay single.

He lives a long human life, alone romantically but not alone in friendship and family.  When Rory and his wife become old and pass away, Ian decides to do the same.

[goopyslimeybxstrd]

“welcome to the circus!” sleepy boys inc. &co fanfic — chapter 1

hi! this is my first time writing a fanfic, posting an actual thing on tumblr and also the FIRST chapter of my circus au sbi&co fanfic!

this would normally be posted on ao3 but i’m currently waiting for my invitation.. but im very excited to share it with people and my friend recommended posting it on here since apparently fics do very well on here:)

BETA READ BY CLEETUSPAWS (THANK YOU SO MUCH!)

the rain hit the stone tiles of the street with loud pitter-patters, accompanied by the splash of a red pair of vans and black converse walking through a puddle. toby sighed when rain hit his head through the umbrella, looking up at the inconveniently placed hole. he turned to tommy with a frown, who was blissfully unaware and munching happily on his shitty sausage role from the sketchy bakery a few blocks away. 

“tom, the umbrellas got a hole in it.. and my hairs getting wet.” 

toby sighed, tapping tommy on the shoulder with a small slightly annoyed smile, pointing to the hole once tom had looked over.

tommy looked puzzled, 

“what the fuck man? this umbrella was fine like— two days ago, when that guy gave it to me.. did you bite it or something tubs?” 

he snickered, nudging the other boy with his elbow, a smirk plastered across his face, causing toby to fall backwards a tiny bit. he gasped, folding his arms.

“hey! don’t you be nudging me, also, i’m not a rat, i didn’t bite the umbrella. i don’t think it would be that tasty anyway..” 

he grinned, nudging the blonde back with a laugh. 

tom laughed out loud, finally moving the umbrella around so the hole was behind the both of them, the rain still cruising through but luckily far enough away that it wasn’t bothering the two. the hair of the two swayed in sync in the soft breath of the wind and the rain seemed louder on the top of the run-down umbrella now. or maybe they seemed quieter; it was hard to tell. 

they had been quieter with eachother than normal recently, anyway. tommy had noticed it, assuming tubbo hadn’t so much. if toby noticed anything wrong he would obviously tell him, right? that’s how it’s been going since they were twelve years old— how its been going since they declared they were best friends in that shitty run down orphanage. shivers run down his spine at even the mention of that place. what a nightmare of a shithole, tom felt a pang of guilt for all the kids who were still stuck there, trapped in the foster system. he just hopes they wake up one day and take the chances of escaping. 

tom snapped back into reality after a short moment, rolling his eyes at the fact he had a full train of thought about the life he so desperately wanted to leave behind in the dirt. maybe one day they’ll be able to help out some kids to escape that dump. 

well, obviously not now.

scraping his lunch funds together was difficult enough for him.. let alone having to donate to the homeless shelter camp thing so he and toby can still ‘live’ somewhere. 

“it’s practically paying rent, just masked as a nicer thing.” he explained to toby once, after they’d dropped whatever money they had left at the end of the month into the red bucket gripped by the owner of the land.

toby sighed, looking over to tom who had a wry look in his eyes, turning away quickly. he made an awkward facial expression before speaking:

“is it a mcdonald’s night.. or have we already spent too much money today?” he quizzed, glancing up to tommy and watching his hand as he brought it up to brush it through his hair, the blonde strands falling over his forehead again comfortably.

tommy thought for a moment, suddenly turning up to tubbo with a cheeky smile.

“you know what tubzo? why not man? we deserve it. we’ve been working all week and shit..” he gushed, gripping the umbrella tighter in his hand. toby seemed to catch up on the excitement, grinning back at him.

they walked faster now, turning onto a different street other than the one which would direct them home, chatting along until tommy stopped. turning to a telephone pole and looking at the brightly coloured poster stamped on it.

‘CASTING OPEN’ it read in a big pink font, a black shadow decorating it. under that violation to the eyes, there was extra text. holy shit.

there layed the logo of the ‘syndicate circus’, the swirly writing all too familiar and sported with the three colours for the three members. yellow for acrobur (‘what a stupid fucking name,’ tommy thought, who hates their child that much? he hates to admit acrobur was probably his favourite, though..), a bright green for crowman and a vibrant red for the blood god. jesus christ. 

he poked tubbo on the shoulder, pointing to the poster and aggressively tapping on it.

“toby. are. you. seeing. this? castings for SYNDICATE? TUBZ. THIS WOULD BE INSANE.” he marvelled, grabbing the poor boy by his shoulders and shaking him slightly.

toby scoffed, 

“tom you’re being a bit ambitious.. they wouldn’t let two teenagers - who barely have any talent at all - within fifty feet of the tent, let alone in it.”

tom rolled his eyes, crossing his arms, “you’re so boring, toby!” he ranted, sounding agitated,

”such a pussy. you know that right? you’re a puss.” 

his tone changed to a teasing one, poking at the brunette with a cheeky grin.

tubbo blinked, crossing his arms and raising his eyebrows, waiting for tommy to continue.

tom scoffed, hands moving around in strange gestures as he attempts to explain—-

“okay- look, toby, like.. you’re good at those fuckin trampolines and i’m like really funny!” 

tom stared at tubbo while he thought, his mumbles snapping the other out of his train of thought,

“and like.. i’ve always loved syndicate circus and i just think it’d be REALLY cool..”

toby stared with a blank face, a smile creeping up slowly,

“well- you’re not that funny. but its just.. we might not have enough money to support that, tom.”

tommy massaged his temple, right. money. that’s a good point. oh well!

“who fuckin cares about money?? imagine how much we could make from joining THE syndicate circus!” he exclaimed.

toby lowered his head, thinking again before looking up to tommy about to speak—

“come on, man! pleaase?? please please? pretty please, toby..????” tom begged, trying his hardest to do some kind of puppy-eyes.. and failing.

tubbo sighed. ‘anything to make tommy be quiet,’ he thought, turning to check the date on the poster.

“fine,” he muttered, “but as soon as ANYTHING goes wrong, we’re out of there. got it?”

[rosemaidenvixen]

A Secret's Worth

Chapter 31: Jim

Ao3

“Mom is the oven ready?”

“Not quite,”

“Are you su–”

“I know you don’t have much faith in my cooking abilities, but even I can tell the difference between Preheat and Off,”

Jim flushed “Sorry,” he set the bowl down on the side table and headed back to the kitchen, shooting a glance behind him to take inventory of what he had out already. Crackers, chips, dip, popcorn, oreos, chocolate covered pretzels, buffalo wings ready and waiting to be put in the oven, dead batteries and recycling for him, plus plain raw chicken wings in the fridge if he got really–

“Kiddo we have enough snacks to feed your entire school,” Barbara flashed him a soft smile, leaning against the counter across from him.

Jim felt his flush burn hotter, tearing his gaze away from the living room towards her “I just…I just want to make sure everything’s perfect,”

She stepped over to him, reaching up and cupping his cheek “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be fine, they aren’t coming here for the food or the videogames, they’re coming because they’re your friends,”

Jim let out a shaky breath “You’re…you’re right,”

He didn’t have to impress them or win them over, they already liked him. They wouldn’t have agreed to come in the first place if they didn’t.

She patted his cheek “You better believe I am mister,”

Despite that he consciously knew he didn’t have to prove anything, part of Jim still itched to make sure the whole night went perfect, and he was running out of time to prepare. The others would be here any minute, Toby had stayed over once before but this was a whole new ballgame. He was hosting a sleepover with all five of them; Toby, Darci, Mary, and C– C–

His heartbeat stuttered, threatening to stop entirely.

Oh god, Claire, the Claire, was going to stay the night at his house. Sure it was a group thing and it’s not like they’d ever be alone together and his mom was going to be there the whole time, but still–

“I– I’m going to grab some more soda from the garage,” Jim quickly spun around and booked it down the hall, hoping his mom didn’t notice the flush in his cheeks.

Jim didn’t miss the time before the others knew his secret, when he’d been a nervous wreck for weeks on end, winding tighter and tighter and threatening to snap at any moment. But parts of that time were simpler, like how his fear of being exposed and taken away had been so huge that it had eclipsed literally every other worry in his life.

Now that all his friends knew his biggest secret, sucking away not all but most of the fear surrounding it, all those other worries and doubts had room to wriggle their way to the surface.

Did the upstairs sink have a leak or were they just splashing around too much? Did he study enough for his history final? Did Claire know how her eyes sparkled every time she laughed?

Jim picked up the six pack from the floor of the garage and paused to take a breath before heading back into the house, trying to steady his fluttering heartbeat, the heat in his face now quickly spreading out across the rest of his skin.

They’d been hanging out together, albeit in a group, for months, and she still had no idea how he really felt. That he liked being friends with her but his feelings ran deeper than that. Feelings that he’d been trying to smother for months but refused to be silenced. Sometimes Jim got so deep in his them that he thought about meeting her alone and confessing everyth–

Metal glinted in the corner of his eye, drawing his attention to the chest freezer. The brand new metal padlock and latch, that Toby insisted on paying for himself, shone in the low light, protecting the freezer’s contents from the elements and prying eyes.

The heat racing through him stopped cold, something dark and heavy taking its place in his chest.

Claire still had no idea how he felt about her, and she never would. 

Being just friends with Claire was good, great even, she was an awesome friend. Jim could learn to live without being…more.

He took a deep breath and headed back into the house, doing his best to ignore the pinching in his stomach.

Jim was so so grateful that all the others were sticking with him; even after all the lying, even after seeing his other face. They knew everything, what he did and what he was, and they were still there for him.

That was more than Jim ever imagined he’d have, and he wasn’t going to ruin it by being greedy. 

His blue form was nothing even close to human, if that wasn’t apparent by the way he looked it was clear in the way he ate. And all of them; Toby, Darci, Mary and Claire, were amazing enough that they didn’t let that bother them, they stuck with him day or night. But just hanging around him while he was blue without running away screaming was one thing. 

Asking Claire– or anyone really, for anything…romantic…that was asking too much. 

After so many years Jim had almost perfect control of his nocturnal form. He didn’t break things with his hulk strength, and he managed his diet without preying on the local wildlife. So aside from the fact he had to keep it secret, for the most part his monster form was manageable.

But despite his near perfect control, and the fact he was normal half the time, Jim still turned into an inhuman beast every time the sun went down. And no matter what way you cut it, that was a big, blue elephant in the room that couldn’t be ignored.

Even if he did have it under control, even if he was normal during the day, even if the others were fine hanging out with him when he was blue. There was no way any sane human being would be even halfway ok with dating a carnivorous, horned monster. 

And Jim wasn’t going to make Claire be the bad guy by forcing her to say so out loud. 

Setting the soda on the counter, he shut his eyes and pulled in a deep breath through his nose.

Claire would never be anything more than a friend, and that was good, great, amazing. Her friendship, and the others’, was more than he’d ever thought he’d have. 

And Jim was so so thankful for it.

The doorbell rang, Jim jumping at the sound. He whirled around, gaze flickering between the front door and the stairs, the idea of running up and hiding in his room briefly flashing in his mind, then his mom stepped in front of him and gave him a knowing look.

Jim swallowed then started stepping towards the door, going through his breath cycles.

You don’t have to impress them or win them over, they already like you, they wouldn’t be coming if they didn’t.

Fixing what he hoped was a natural looking smile on his face, Jim opened the door and came face to face with Claire, Mary, and Darci.

“Hey guys come on in!”

“Hey Jim,” Darci gave a cheery wave, raising up an aluminum pan “I brought brownies,”

“I brought guac!” Claire called out from behind her.

“And I brought my sparkling personality,” Mary added

“Awesome,” Jim stepped aside, allowing them to head inside “Go ahead and make yourselves at home, Toby should be here in a little but,”

Mary raised an eyebrow even as she tossed her duffle bag to the side and plunked herself down on the couch “He’s not here yet? But he lives right across the street?”

“He said he had to run some errands before coming here, but to not to wait for him to get started,”

“Hi girls,” Barbara made a point to turn and smile at each of them before starting to move away “I’ll be in the back room doing some work, let me know if you need anything,”

Jim gave a quick nod at his mom before she left the room, then turned to glance out the window.

How much longer would Toby be? He’d said he’d had an errand to run, but Jim honestly hadn’t expected the girls to get here before him.

“We can play War Dudes while we wait for Toby,” Claire knelt by the TV and started fiddling with the console “I’ve got the four player mode so one of us can trade off when he gets here,”

“That sounds good,” Jim forced himself to turn away and headed over to take a seat with the rest of them, picking up his controller and very deliberately not looking out the window.

Where was Toby? He said he’d had an errand but he should have been here by now. Why was he so late? He hadn’t answered any of his texts, what was going on?

Darci elbowed him, startling him out of his thoughts.

“You good Jim?”

“Y– yeah, I’m fine,” 

Jim shook his head and forced himself to concentrate on the TV screen flashing with the game’s main menu and did his best to shove his worries away. For the most part he succeeded, now that the girls were here, all of them playing games like normal, he was able to forget that he was hosting his first ever multi-person slumber party and pretend it was just a regular afternoon. 

But the videogame could only distract him so much. And as Toby’s absence stretched longer and longer, Jim found himself constantly glancing out the window and at his eerily silent phone. Guts twisting in on themselves further and further as the sun faded away with no trace of Toby.

Where is he?

Daylight nearly gone and intestines in a pretzel, Jim paused the game at the next cutscene “I’ll be right back, I have to run upstairs to…change,”

“Ok,”

“Sounds good,”

“Take your time,”

Jim flashed a weak grin at them as he forced himself to walk, not run, up to his room.

Where was Toby? There was no way he wouldn’t come right? He should have been here by now, did something happen? Was he ok?

After only a two minute wait in his room the daylight outside popped out of existence and the change swept over him, necessitating a change of clothes. Jim was in the middle of pulling on an extra large t-shirt, when he heard the front door open and Toby’s voice wafting up.

He jumped at the sound, stumbling into his dresser and snagging the shirt on his horns, struggling to detangle himself without completely tearing the shirt apart. 

He’s here he’s here he’s here!

Moving frantically, Jim tugged himself free, grabbed the extra large version of his favorite jacket off the dresser, and booked it downstairs, only just remembering at the last moment to slow down.

Don’t freak them out by zooming in with your super speed. Toby’s here, he’s fine, don’t need to rush.

He still hustled down the stairs, shrugging the jacket on as the front hall came into view “Hey Tobes wha…”

Toby was down in the front hall, but that wasn’t what had grabbed his attention, it was the gigantic cooler that Toby was struggling to drag through the front door. 

“Here let me help you with that,” Jim stepped over and grabbed the cooler handle, yanking it the rest of the way inside and allowing the front door to swing shut.

Toby looked up at him and smiled “Hey dude, sorry I’m late, it took a while to lug this thing back from the store,”

Claire poked her head out of the living room, Mary and Darci flanking her “What is all that?”

“Well to celebrate our first sleepover with all of us I wanted to get something special, so…” Toby opened the cooler with a flourish “Tah dah!”

Jim leaned over and peeked inside “Are those…” 

“Shellfish?” Darci said incredulously.

“More specifically they’re oysters but yeah,” Toby hoisted a large mesh bag out of the cooler, plastic straining against the large mass of dark gray shells inside “It’s our first ever sleepover all together, so I thought I’d get us something fancy,”

“That’s very thoughtful of you Toby,” Barbara stepped in to join them in the front hall “But how do we even prepare them?”

“It’s actually not that hard, the guy at the store told me everything, first we have to wash them,”

Barbara flashed a bright smile and held out her arms “I can take care of that for you kids,” 

All at once the five of them went stiff, Toby clutching the bag of oysters protectively to his chest “Well that’s nice of you Dr. Lake but uh…”

“Oh come on, I can handle washing oysters,” 

Jim shifted from foot to foot, ruffling a hand through the hair at the back of his neck “Uhhh…mom, you remember the time you tried to zest those limes…”

She threw her hands up in surrender “Fine, I’ll leave it all to you guys, but get me when you eat them, I want to try one,” Barbara turned and retreated to the back room. leaving the five of them alone.

“Ok,” Toby slung the mesh sack over his shoulder and grabbed the cooler with his other hand, dragging it behind him as he headed into the kitchen “First things first, we need to wash all the crud off and sort out the dead ones,”

Jim froze, heart slamming to a stop “Hang on, are these…alive?”

“Yeah,” Mary watched over Toby’s shoulder as he tossed the bag into the sink, oblivious to Jim’s steadily rising panic “It’s the safest way to eat them, eating a dead oyster is a fast way to get food poisoning,”

His hand shot out and grabbed doorframe, wood just a hair away from creaking in protest under his fingers. Lingering just outside the kitchen while the others gathered in around the sink. He couldn’t do this, it was bad enough with all the whole animals he had to eat, but eating something while it was still–

Darci glanced back at him, neither of them said anything but she must have noticed something in his expression.

“It’s not a big deal, oysters don’t have brains, just muscle and spine. They don’t feel pain, at least not the way mammals do,” she reached in and pulled out an open shell, wrinkling her nose at it “Plus shucking them usually does them in so they’re usually dead by the time you actually eat them…but it’s fine if seafood’s not your thing,”

Her words buzzed in the back of his skull, Jim’s entire body itching to run, to sprint past them out the back door and not stop until he hit the Sierra Nevadas.

Instead he stayed where he was and pulled in a deep breath, starting his breathing cycles. Thinking back on when he and Kurt talked about meat.

You should never force yourself to eat something that you think is gross, but if you feel like your disgust is coming from an irrational place, try and think about how the idea of someone else eating that food makes you feel. If you think it’s ok for someone else to eat that food, then it’s ok for you to eat it to.

By now the others had all turned around and were looking at him, faces showing varying levels of concern.

Toby took a step forward “You ok there Jimbo?”

Jim forced both feet flat against the floor and pulled in a deep breath through his nose.

Did the idea of these guys, or anyone else, eating live oysters fill him with disgust and revulsion?

Eating a dead oyster is a fast way to get food poisoning.

They don’t feel pain, at least not the way mammals do.

No, it didn’t.

That meant it was ok for him to eat them to. Now did he want to eat them?

The pride and delight on Toby’s face as he held up the bag of oysters flashed in his mind.

He wanted to try.

Prying his fingers off the doorframe, Jim walked into the room at a carefully measured pace, grabbing the trashcan and moving to join the others by the sink “Yeah, I’m good, let’s do this,”

They fell into a semi-comfortable rythm; setting up an assembly line sorting out the dead, smelly oysters and scrubbing the crud off the ones that were left.

Soon all the good oysters were sitting in a bowl on the counter, the five of them taking turns rinsing the grime off their hands at the sink.

Toby wrung his hands dry on the hand towel “Ok, now that they’re clean we need to shuck them,”

“How…do we do that?” Claire said slowly.

The five of them simultaneously looked up and stared at each other.

Less than a minute later they were all clustered around Mary watching the tutorial she’d pulled up on her phone.

“Seems simple enough,” Mary slid her phone back into her pocket “But we need some of those special knives,”

“Ooh! I’ve got some,” Toby darted over to the cooler and pulled out a small plastic package with six little knives inside “The guy at the store helped me find them, he was super nice,”

“I’ll get a bowl to put the empty shells in,” Jim bent down to take another large bowl out of the cabinet “I don’t want to throw them all straight in the garbage in case they cut the bag,”

“And we should get some ice to put them on,” Claire added “Keep them fresh until we eat them,”

“Way ahead of you,” Toby shook the plastic bag full of crushed ice he’d just grabbed from the freezer.

Jim set the oyster bowl and empty shell bowl on the table while Toby poured the ice out into an empty pan, Darci and Claire raiding the tea towels.

Once they were finished setting the towels around the table, Darci took her seat and plucked an oyster out of the bowl “Mary can you pull up the video again?”

Mary dutifully got out her phone and propped it up on the counter in full view of the five of them “I have it on loop, so it will auto repeat once it’s done,” 

“Perfect,” Claire wrapped her oyster in her tea towel “Oh wait Jim, you still need a towel to protect your hands,”

“Nah, I should be fine,” he wiggled his fingers “My skin is pretty tough like this so I didn’t need to worry about cutting myself,”

“Ok then,”

Jim grabbed an oyster and set it on the towel in front of him, he picked up his knife and then stopped, staring down at the small shellfish in front of him, the beginnings of nausea swimming in his gut. 

Chances are this oyster, all the oysters in the bowl, were still alive. Shucking was the part that actually killed them.

Could he….could he do this?

He lifted his head just high enough to peek over to his side. 

Claire and Mary were already shucking like pros, popping their oysters open with neat efficiency. Toby and Darci were a bit slower, less sure in their movements, but after some fumbling, they were able to set their own opened oysters in the ice pan with clear satisfaction on their faces.

Did seeing these guys shucking oysters

Killing them

Horrify him, disgust him, fill him with revulsion?

No it didn’t. Oysters were just food. People ate meat and seafood all the time, there was nothing wrong with that.

If it’s ok for someone else to eat that food, then it’s ok for you to eat it to.

This was fine, oysters were just food, for everyone. He wasn’t ripping a bunny rabbit apart with his fangs, he was just preparing food, the exact same way people across the planet did.

Was this something he wanted to do?

Darci yelped as the oyster slipped from her grip, shooting across the table and splattering brine everywhere, Toby and and Claire laughing while Mary squawked in disgust.

Jim’s stomach rolled again but not from disgust.

Hanging out with his friends, making snacks and joking around and having a good time together.

Or spending another long night locked up in his house all alone.

Yes, he did.

Jim took a deep breath and slid the knife in between the shells.

The first oyster he had to pay very close attention to, willing his fingers to stay steady and not tremble as he wriggled the knife inside and popped the shell open. The second was much of the same, but after number three he started to get the hang of it, able to feel out the best place to slide the knife in pop the shell. Able to shuck with the same efficiency of dicing vegetables, motions becoming automatic enough that he barely had to think about it.

“Don’t worry Mary, I’m sure oyster juice washes right out,” he flashed her a fanged grin, tossing an empty shell into the bowl with a flourish.

“Forget about stains, what about the smell?!”

“Swing by my house later,” Toby piped up “You’ll be Meow Meow PI’s new best friend,”

They all laughed at that, even Mary’s pout couldn’t fully hide the smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

The time flew by, the five of them trading jibes and elbowing each other as they worked, and before he knew it the oyster bowl was empty, the ice filled pan was packed with oysters glistening in their brine, and the shell bowl was practically overflowing.

“Alright the oysters are all ready,” Jim picked up the pan, along with another empty bowl for shells, and carried them into the living room “Toby you got the–”

“Yep,” Toby’s arm stuck out and waved a bottle at him from behind where the open door of the fridge was concealing him “I got lemon juice and red wine vinegar, any of you guys want tabasco sauce?”

“Ooh I’ll have some!” Claire waved at him.

He stepped out from behind the door, two more bottles clutched to his chest, taking several steps towards the living room before pausing and turning back “Hey Dr. L, we’re getting into the oysters!”

“I’ll be out in a minute,” her voice echoed from the back room “Go ahead and start without me,”

Soon they were all settled in their seats on the couch, oyster pan and shell bowl in front of them and small plates in their laps. Darci reached over first, plucking an oyster out of the pan and tipping it back into her mouth, when her head rose back up there was a blissful look spreading across her face “Oh man these are good!”

Claire gulped down her own oyster as well “Yeah, you got some really nice ones TP,”

“I try,”

Curiosity growing, Jim reached out and plucked up an oyster as daintily as he could, raising it up and giving it a sniff. He’d been blindsided by Toby bringing the oysters in the first place, followed immediately anxious about the idea of them being ‘alive’, so the idea of actually eating them himself hadn’t occurred to him until now.

Sure he couldn’t really eat ‘normal’ food while he was like this, but raw meat was usually fine, so maybe the oysters would be ok…

He hesitated, remembering exactly just how fresh they were. Jim pulled in a deep breath and peeked over at the girls sprinkling their own oysters with various condiments before slurping them down.

Eating them raw is a safety thing, they don’t have brains or feel pain the way we understand it. 

Jim willed his breathing to slow.

Did the sight of the others eating potentially live oysters fill him with revulsion?

No. It didn’t.

It wasn’t wrong for other people to eat oysters.

That meant it was ok for him to eat oysters to.

Taking one more deep breath, Jim raised the shell to his mouth and tipped it back. 

He froze, shell poised right outside his lips.

That was…really good.

Jim tossed the empty shell into the bowl, grabbed another oyster and slurped it right down, then another, then an–

“Hey save some for the rest of us,” Mary playfully swatted his hand away.

“Sorry, it’s just– these are amazing!”

Darci smirked at him from across the couch “This your first time trying oysters?”

“Yes– well no, I mean I tried them once in pasta sauce, but that was during the day, having them raw, at night they’re like– wow,”

“That…that’s awesome,” Toby smiled sheepishly at him from across the coffee table “I was hoping that you’d be able to enjoy them while…you know,”

Jim blinked at him, hand frozen reaching halfway towards the oyster tray. Had Toby gotten the oysters specifically so he could eat them to, so that they could have a food that they could all eat together?

His chest clenched with a surge of unexpected emotion, blinking away the sudden wetness in his eyes “Thanks Tobes,”

Claire nudged Toby with her elbow “Aren’t you going to try one? You bought them after all,”

Toby’s face fell “I’m…getting to it,” 

Darci leaned back in her seat “Well go ahead, we don’t want to eat them all before you can try one,”

“....thanks….”

The rest of them sat back and watched as Toby reached out and gingerly picked up an oyster. He stared at it for a moment, looking at it like it was about to leap up and attack him, then quickly gulped it down, expression curdling as he did “Oh man, that tastes like the ocean and not in a good way,”

“Sorry, more for us,” Claire reached across him and snagged another oyster.

Jim reached for another oyster himself, he was about to tip it in his mouth then hesitated. The oysters were good by themselves, but what if….

He popped the whole shell into his mouth, oyster and all, smooth flavor melting across his mouth as the shell crunched against his teeth, blending with the brine.

“These are really good,”

Mary looked up at him curiously “What do they taste like, with the shells and everything?”

“Like, chocolate, well not really exactly, but it’s the closest thing, just like smooth and rich and really really good,”

Toby beamed “Glad you’re enjoying them,”

“Enjoying your oysters kids?” his mom stepped into the room 

“Yep,”

“Uh huh,”

“You know it,”

“Having the time of our lives,”

She grinned “Great, mind if I try one?”

“Here you go,” Toby set one oyster on a small plate and held it out to her, Barbara took it and lifted the shell to tip it back into her mouth, making a face not unlike the one Toby had made as her head came back up.

“You…you kids enjoy these,”

Jim, Mary, Claire, and Darci all laughed while Toby patted her arm sympathetically. Between the four of them they finished off the rest of the oysters pretty quickly, Jim setting the shell bowl off to the side for later snacking. He moved to pick up the ice pan but Barbara beat him to it.

“I’ll take care of the dishes, you kids focus on having fun,”

"But mom–"

“No buts mister, I’ll handle all the dishes, I can’t do a worse job than I did with the limes,”

Jim gave a soft chuckle at that but sat back and allowed her to carry the pan and the rest of the dishes back into the kitchen.

Turning back he saw Darci getting out a deck of cards “So I was thinking we play some poker,” her smile turned deadly “With our standard stakes,”

“Standard stakes?” Toby wheezed out.

Claire giggled and swatted his shoulder “That just means the loser of each hand gets make-up put on them,” she froze “Unless…not everyone would be ok with that…”

The way she, Darci, and Mary, even Toby, all avoided looking at Jim when she said that meant that her words could only be meant for him.

Jim had to stop and think for a second. Was he ok with getting makeup put on him…like this? While it wasn’t something he’d ever normally wear, Jim wasn’t bothered by the idea of wearing makeup, heck he’d even borrowed some of his mom’s concealer on days when he had a really bad zit. Plus it wasn’t like he was being singled out or anything, chances are everyone would end up wearing some.

Doing makeover poker wasn’t an idea that would have ever occurred to him in a million years, but he didn’t find the thought particularly distressing either. 

“Yep that sounds good, although I don’t know how to play poker, so if you guys are ok with going slow I’m game,”

Everyone in the room visibly relaxed at that. 

“I’ll show you the ropes Jim,” Toby patted his shoulder “I’m kind of a card game master, every Friday night when Nana was playing bingo, I was learning the way of the cards from Mr. Beadleman,”

Claire raised an eyebrow “That kind of sounds like he was teaching you Yu Gi Oh,”

“To be fair he just taught me stage magic and a bunch of card games, but I once showed him Yu Gi Oh and he kind of went wild with it, I actually think I might have created a monster there,”

Darci tapped the deck loudly against the coffee table “Alright if you’re new to poker the first thing we do is…”

The five of them knelt at the coffee table while Darci dealt out the cards and explained the rules, only interrupted by the occasional clank of bowls and hiss of water coming from the kitchen as Barbara took care of the dishes. Halfway through Darci’s explanation Mary got out a large bag and started passing out its contents one by one. Clusters of brightly colored tubes and compacts slowly building in front of each of them. 

“Remember the rules; lipstick, eyeshadow, hair chalk, nail polish, and blush. You lose a round you put one on, set whatever you used behind you and when you run out grab some more from someone else. We keep going until we have literally no more places we can put makeup on,”

Toby picked up two of his cards and glanced at Jim “You good to go ahead or do you want to go over the rules again?”

“I think I’m good,” Jim picked up his own two cards, he was still a little fuzzy on the rules, but he should be able to pick it up as they went along.

As they settled into the game, setting out cards and exchanging them for the ones in their hands, he was able to keep up fairly well. And despite his noob status, he wasn’t the first one to lose a hand, Claire was.

She grabbed a small tube from her pile and set it down in front of her “I choose lipstick,”

Darci and Mary shared a look, cheeks puffing as they struggled to hold back their laughter. 

“Given by force or self-inflicted?” Darci asked, voice shaking with barely restrained giggles.

“I’ll do it myself,”

Mary smirked at her, before tossing a sandwich bag full of q- tips her way. Claire caught it, shooting Mary a grumpy look. She popped the cap off the tube and dabbed at the lipstick inside with one of the q tips. Once it was thoroughly coated with blue rouge she closed the tube and picked up a small compact. Flicking it open and using the mirror inside to keep an eye on her reflection while meticulously painting her upper lip blue.

Examining her reflection one more time, Claire snapped the compact shut and tossed the bag back at Mary, blue lip now curled into a self assured smile “Laugh while you can girls, soon it’ll be your turns,”

Mary shot a feral grin right back at her “Oh we’ll see about that,”

But it wasn’t any of the girls who lost the next round, or Toby, it was Jim. No one said anything, the jovial mood gone in an instant, tense looks flashing back and forth between the four of them.

Swallowing back the sudden tightness in his throat, Jim slowly reached out and set a small square compact down in front of him “I pick eyeshadow…and I’m going to to need help putting it on,”

The tension eased but not by much, the gap in their conversation stretching longer and longer until Mary stood up.

“I’ll do it,” she hesitantly stepped towards him, grabbing the compact and another q tip “Alright, lean back and close your eyes,”

Jim complied, tilting his head back and willing himself not to twitch away at the gentle dabbing on his eyelid.

Then just as quickly as it started it stopped.

“Ok you’re done,”

Jim sat up blinking, vision focusing to see Mary holding out the compact mirror towards him. He gently accepted it, peering into the tiny mirror to examine his reflection. His face was nearly identical to the way it normally looked, the only difference was that one of his eyes was now shaded in violet from above.

“Dang,” he looked up and grinned at them “This is a good look for me,”

They all laughed, more from relief than anything else.

The game continued, an easy mood settling over the room, the five of them falling into comfortable banter as they lost themselves in the game. Darci, Mary, Claire and Toby munching on the various snacks he’d set out while Jim crunched his way through the oyster shells. The only disruption his mom coming in to rotate out empty snack bowls with fresh buffalo wings, flat out refusing any of their offers to help. Time was flying by so fast the next time Jim glanced at the clock he was amazed to see nearly an hour and a half had gone by, all of them now sporting various shades of jewel and neon colors.

“Sorry Jimbo, looks like you're the loser this round,”

Jim shrugged and set another compact down in front of him “Hair chalk,”

Darci smirked at him, eyes shaded in orange and pink “You know sooner or later you’re going to have to use your lipstick,”

“Never,”

Toby sided up to him, green and black lips pulled into a wide grin “Jealous?”

Jim just rolled his eyes, Darci already moving behind him with the hair chalk “You caught me, I don’t want to do lipstick because I know I’ll never pull it off as well as you,”

“Well enjoy it while you can,” Mary tapped her cards loudly against the table “You’ll get it eventually,”

He ignored them and leaned back, holding still while Darci separated out a section of his hair and–

A thumping sound echoed from the door, all of them simultaneously snapping upright, the hairchalk falling to the carpet, jerking their heads towards the source of the sound. For a moment things were silent, Jim was just starting to wonder if they’d imagined the sound when the knob started rattling. 

Someone on the other side trying to open the door. 

Jim couldn’t move, pinned in place with shock and horror, frozen kneeling on the floor staring at the jiggling knob. 

This couldn’t be happening, this couldn’t be real, there couldn’t be someone standing outside trying to get in while he was– this. His legs went tense even as they were folded underneath him, ready to leap up and flee towards safety wherever that might be–

“Barb?” a voice, a man’s voice, called from outside the house “I know you’re in there Barb open the door,”

His heart leapt up into his throat, ice shooting through his veins, glacial chill settling over his entire body. 

The only person who ever called his mom Barb was–

Fingers tightly gripped his shoulder from behind “It’s ok, I changed the locks and got rid of the spare key, he can’t get in,”

Jim didn’t so much as twitch under her grip, eyes locked on the door, fingers curled in a stony deathgrip around his cards.

“C’mon Barbara you can’t keep blocking me out forever, you need to hear me out,”

The entire room was dead quiet, everyone watching with held breath as the knob continued to rattle.

The knob jiggled for a few more seconds before going still. But no one relaxed so much as an inch, all eyes still locked on the door. The room filling with heavy, loaded silence worse than any amount of noise.

Toby slowly set his cards facedown on the table without his eyes ever once leaving the door, but no one moved to pick up their game. Jim’s front bumped against the table, he hadn’t even realized he was tilting forward until now, eyes and ears trained on the front of the house. There was no more knocking and the knob wasn’t moving any more, but he hadn’t heard anyone walking away, and there was some kind of new sound….

Jim leaned forward even more, hanging halfway over the coffee table, heartbeat booming in his ears, but not so loud he couldn’t hear it. Some kind of faint scratching coming from the other side of the door, he’d never heard anything like that before, what could tha–

The lock popped open.

Lightning cracked through him, heart plummeting down into the pit of his gut, cards tumbling through his fingers and fluttering down to the floor, a roaring in his ears as the door creaked open–

He was vaguely aware of the hand on his shoulder yanking him to his feet.

“Basement now, go go go!”

Other hands were on his arms and back, tugging him out of the room, urging forward him with harsh whispers and urgent tugs. Jim only barely managed to stumble himself along, guided by the desperate pulling on his arms and shoulders, everything except the roaring thunder in his ears seemed faint and far away. 

The loud sound of a door slamming brought him back to the here and now. Starting a little bit, Jim found himself standing on the top basement stair, the door firmly shut in front of him, raised voices echoing out from behind it.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing but you have ten seconds to get out before I call the police!”

“No Barb, you won’t return my calls, you won’t agree to meet up, you forced my hand here, and I’m not going anywhere until we talk this out!”

Jim just stood there, unable to tear his gaze away from the door as his parents–

His parents, both of them, together.

Continued to scream at each other, too shellshocked to even consider moving, when suddenly there was a hand on his forearm. Snapping around, he saw Toby reaching up towards him from a lower step, the girls all huddled behind him, all wearing matching strained expressions.

“It’s ok, Dr. Lake can handle him, we’ll just hunker down here until she kicks his ass out,” Toby gave his arm a squeeze “We’ll be out of here in no time,”

The girls nodded along and murmured reassurances.

All Jim could do was stare at them. His dad had broken into their house and Barbara was dealing with him all alone, and they were more concerned with how Jim felt when his mom was the one in real danger here!?

His dad had already gone so far as to break in, what was stopping him from going even farther?

What if he got angry enough that he attacked his mom?

Toby’s fingers tightened around his stony flesh, another hand going up to gently pat his upper arm “I promise you won’t have to stay in the basement for long,”

Jim’s jaw fell open, gaze flitting across the four of them. His mom was in actual, literal danger here and these guys were more worried about how he felt about being in the–

Oh.

Oh.

Jim blinked at them a few times before slowly turning back towards the door.

They thought that being down…here would be hard for him. And it was, a little, but the memories he had of being locked in the basement, while bad, were so few and so long ago it had been a long time since he’d struggled with them.

It didn’t feel great when he thought back on them, or when they just happened to hit him as he was retrieving something from down here.

Not that the basement was somewhere he ever went without having an explicit reason to do so.

But for the most part he was over it.

More than anything he was terrified about the very alive and real threat behind the wooden door less than twenty feet away in the living room.

“Ten years, ten years of no contact and you just expect to waltz back in here, with no knowledge of anything we’ve been through all this time and act like nothing’s changed!?”

Jim reached out and ran a four fingered hand over the wood in front of him. A fresh coat of paint covered the marks, but they were still there, his fingers tracing over the grooves.

“How can I fix anything if you won’t give me a chance to apologize!”

The memories of those nights from back when he was a little kid were murky and indistinct, but he couldn’t forget them if he tried.

Lights being too bright, sounds being too loud. The helpless rage building up more than his tiny body could hold. 

Screaming and screaming until his voice was hoarse, clawing at this same door and running up and down the stairs to try to rid of some of this burning white hot energy.

Desperate to be free from his prison.

“What on earth makes you think you deserve forgiveness!?”

His fingers curled into a shaking fist, balled against the door.

He’d felt so angry and trapped as a little kid, but that was before he realized his real prison was something far worse than four walls and a wooden door.

No matter where he went Jim carried it with him.

Hiding in his house every night for years, terrified of what would happen if he strayed outside his sanctuary. 

Four months ago, when the girls had confronted him and sent everything spiraling, that fear had surged like never before. Blazing to an impossibly high peak as everything escalated further and further, his whole life falling apart all around him while Jim desperately tried to hold it together. Wrapping himself tighter and tighter in secrecy, pulling away from everyone.

It had nearly strangled him, cutting out everyone he cared about and hiding himself away, but he was too terrified to do anything else. Clinging to his isolation even as it was breaking him.

But despite his best efforts to push everyone out, pulling his solitude around him like a shield, that hadn’t stopped them. 

Toby, Claire, Mary, and Darci had forced their way in and ripped down the walls he’d spent over a decade building.

Now the loneliness that had been his security and his prison was gone, leaving him adrift in uncharted waters.

But despite all the uncertainty, fumbling through the unknown, everything he knew turned on its head; his life was the best that it had been since before he’d taken that bath.

Now here he was again, hiding himself away like a terrified little kid.

“I’m only human ok! I made one goddamn mistake, you shouldn’t hold it against me forever!”

A new emotion flickered to life in Jim’s chest, but not worry, something hotter.

Things had changed, he wasn’t a little kid anymore. Too small and powerless to be anything but be a burden.

He’d been afraid for so long, isolated, locked away, terrified of anyone getting so much as a glimmer of truth, now he was just done.

The burning spread out from his chest, heat snaking out through his limb swallowing every trace of the terrified chill leaving only smoldering in its place. A low rumbling coming from deep in the pit of his gut.

Jim was done hiding, locked away like a terrified little kid.

It was time to face his problems head on.

He grabbed the knob and wrenched the door open. Slamming against the wall with a bang as Jim stomped through it into the kitchen.

A chorus of soft gasps rose up from behind him “Jim what are you–”

In some part of his brain Jim knew this was dumb, charging in like this without any kind of a plan, but he’d spent so much time hiding, locked up in his house and his own head, he was just done. 

And this was long overdue.

He stalked towards the living room, ignoring the hissed whispers of protest behind him turning to shouts. Rounding the corner and coming face to face with him for the first time in over a decade.

Jim narrowed his eyes, lip curling and the beginnings of a growl rumbling out of his chest. Even after ten years he recognized him immediately, that same face had once smiled down at him while ruffling his hair, he could still recall exactly how the stubble of that beard tickled his cheek when he hugged him. 

But while those memories still had an echo of nostalgia, when Jim looked at the man in front of him he felt no fondness, no hurt, just burning contempt.

“Seriously Barb, what’s it going to take for you to–”

As soon as Jim stepped into the room James’ eyes flickered past Barbara and landed on him, face instantly draining of color, staggering backwards. 

For the first time Jim didn’t try to stifle the growl he felt building up.

This was someone who should have been there for him and mom, who should have supported them during those awful early years, and for every year after that.

But instead he’d selfishly skipped town without so much as a goodbye, leaving them floundering in the wake his absence left, nearly drowning in the struggle to keep his ‘condition’ under control.

There was no way his dad could have known about the bathbomb, or what had happened to him, and him staying wouldn’t have changed it. But if he hadn’t ditched them when he did they wouldn’t have suffered nearly as much.

“Hey dad,” Jim leaned hard into the raspy edge of his night time voice “Long time no see,”

Barbara whipped around at the sound of his voice, eyes going wide behind her glasses and hands flying to cover her mouth. From behind him Jim could hear the others scurrying into the room after him.

He felt a twinge of guilt at blindsiding his mom like this, but she’d been fighting this battle on her own for years, it was time for Jim to tag in.

“Surprised?” Jim gestured to himself, stepping past Barbara towards James “Guess I have grown up a bit,”

“Wha– buh–” his dad stammered “h– how–”

“How? Well after you left I had a little accident in the bath, and now I shop in the big and tall section,”

A snarl ripped out of him, exposing sharp teeth “You’d know that if you’d stayed, or even bothered to call,”

His dad’s jaw was working open and shut, no words coming out, skin chalky, backing up further until he fell on the couch. Seeing him sitting there, like he belonged here, Jim’s anger deepened into a bloody rage.

“Get this through your head,” Jim growled “Because I’m only going to say this once,”

He stalked forward, James recoiling back into the couch as Jim closed in.

“A month after you left everything went to hell. We were living some of the worst years of our lives while you were dicking around in Vermont,”

He stopped two feet away, towing over the gibbering figure of his dad.

“But hey, guess what, we survived. Somehow despite having to deal with this,” Jim waved a hand in front of his face “We pulled through, without you. And you think you can waltz right back in now that it’s convenient for you–”

Some deep, murky part of his brain trilled with satisfaction at seeing his dad flinch.

“We don’t care what you want. We don’t care if you’re sorry or not,” Jim loomed over him, words punctuated with harsh snarls and barks, echoes of a roar itching to be let out “We don’t need you here, we don’t want you here. So. Get. Lost.”

The room went dead silent. Jim stayed where he was glaring down at James, the others lingering behind him with held breaths. Crumpling under the pressure James collapsed in on himself, folding over burying his face in his hands, emitting a weak snuffling sound.

Jim just glared down at the man in front of him without a trace of sympathy. This guy had walked out on his family and came crawling back ten years later and he was the one crying? If he thought that playing the sympathy card was going to get him anywhere then he was seriously–

Wait.

This…didn’t sound like crying.

His train of thought slowly ground to a halt, growl dying off and jaw dropping open as he stared down at the man on the couch, not believing his ears. 

His dad wasn’t crying, he was laughing.

James sat up, hands falling away from his mouth and hearty laughter spilling out into the silent room, a wide grin stretched across his face “Sonuvabitch,” he slapped the side of his knee “That old potion actually worked after all,”

[shipblogbecausesure]

Can you do MaskyxHoodie angst? Maybe a memory loss scenario?

This isn't really a memory loss scenario exactly, more so them getting back their already missing memories. Still, hope you enjoy none the less! Also this does reference Marble Hornets, if you haven't seen it this may be confusing lol

I sighed, heading back to my room after yet another tiring mission. Brian should be off as well, at least I’d get some time with him. I headed into the room to see Brian sitting on his bed, staring out the window. “Hey Brian,” I greeted him, walking over to join him. He seemed to jump, glancing over at me. “Oh, yeah, hey.” He got up off the bed, pulling down his mask. “You should probably get some rest, I’m sure you’re tired. I have to go help E.J with something,” he said, walking past me. “Sleep well.” With that, he was gone. That was- weird. I’d seen him act like this with others but… he was never usually this distant… I shook my head. No, I’m sure he’d just had a bad day, it would be better tomorrow.

——

I never liked having to ask Toby for help. Sure things were better between us, but this was still something I hated doing. But Brian had been acting off for days, seemingly trying to avoid me. Kate had been busy all week so I couldn’t ask her, so Toby was my only option. It wasn’t hard to find him, even when he wasn’t working he spent quite a bit of time outside. I headed out to see him sitting under a tree, staring further into the forest. I took a deep breath and walked over to him. “Toby, can we talk? I need your help.” He turned to look at me, seeming surprised. “You want my help?” he repeated, “Must be serious if you’re asking me.” “Yes, please don’t make a big deal out of it. Look- Brian’s been acting weird for a few days now and I think he’s avoiding me. I don’t- I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t know what to do anymore.” I admitted. Toby hummed, seeming to think for a moment. “Now that you mentioned it, yeah I haven’t seen you and him spending much time together, he’s been spending a lot more time out here and in the forest,” he said, getting up off the ground. “Other than that he hasn’t been acting much different around me. If he won’t talk to you about it, maybe he’ll say something to me.” I feel like Brian only acting weird around me should be worrying… “I”ll talk to him and let you know if he tells me anything, alright?” I finally looked at him again and I nodded. “Alright… Alright.” “Hey, he’ll be okay.” Toby assured me, “You’ve known each other for who knows how long, this is nothing.” 

——

I sat in my room, staring out the window at the night sky. It had been a day and I hadn’t heard anything from Toby or Brian. I doubted I’d sleep much tonight, so I guess I would just stick to staring out at the night sky. I only turned when I heard the door open, Brian heading in. “Come on, I have somewhere I want to show you,” he said. He headed back to the door, waiting for me. I decided not to question him right now and followed him out into the forest. It felt like forever before he finally spoke. “I’m sorry that I haven’t been spending much time with you. Something happened and- I didn’t know how to tell you… But I treated you unfairly, you deserve to know.” he said. When we finally made it out of the forest we were by a large building. It looked abandoned but… familiar almost. Brian took a deep breath. “I found this place a few days ago, I went out on my own since I wasn’t busy and you were on your mission.” He took my hand, leading me inside. Why did I recognize this place? He squeezed my hand, leading me up a flight of stairs. I froze when we reached the top, pulling free from his grip and taking a step back. “I-I know this place…” Almost all at once, the memories came flooding back to me. The sound of a gunshot, chasing a hooded figure… Brian… then- Tears formed in my eyes. “Hey,” Brian whispered, taking hold of my hand again. “It’s okay Tim, I’m not mad at you.” I tried to pull away again, but he didn’t let me. “Why? Why aren’t you mad? I- I-” I didn’t need to finish the sentence, I knew he could fill in the blanks. It was my fault he had died… Even if he was here I’d still done it. How could he forgive me? He pulled me into a hug, kissing my head. “I still don’t remember everything, but I do know what happened here was a misunderstanding, I’m not upset. We’ll figure these memories out together, do not beat yourself up over this, alright?” I knew I couldn’t promise that, but I nodded. “Right… together…”

[momorin-translations]

DIG-ROCK Impish Crow Vol. 1 Part 3: Foreshadowing

Track 03 前兆 Foreshadowing (9:53)

Listen along here: https://open.spotify.com/track/3EkrlNMbBLkdo6XtqnWMV1?si=103f7d33bbb747ca

Toki: Hmm, Mitsuru and Hibari aren’t here. Ah, just got a message from them. Looks like they’ll make it on time. 

Toki: “Getting hamburgers in front of the train station,” and send. 

Tsugumi: Ahh, I’m hungry~

Toki: You’re already going to eat that much? You have the bentos, don’t you? 

Tsugumi: I’ve decided that’s going in a different stomach.

Toki: You’re going to get fat.

Tsugumi: Unfortunately for you, I don’t get fat no matter how much I eat~ See? 

Toki: Idiot! Pull that thing down!

Tsugumi: And with that, it’s time to dig in!

Tsugumi: What about Mitsuru and Hibari?

Toki: Eat or talk, pick one or the other. I got a message from Hibari, the two of them are heading here now. Mitsuru’s work ran a bit late. 

Tsugumi: Hmmm… Mmm…

Toki: Hm? What’s up? 

Tsugumi: Studio musicians always end up playing with different people each time, right?

Toki: That’s true. 

Tsugumi: I wonder if it’s fun.

Toki: Well, Mitsuru seems to be having fun, right? Or he would’ve quit a long time ago. 

Tsugumi: I see, that’s true… It’s music after all, just making sounds would be fun. Besides…

Reporter (on TV): Next week, RUBIA Leopard will be releasing a new album! How far will RUBIA Leopard take us along? Look forward to it! (TL: couldn’t pick this up from the background but the reporter’s talking about rubileo here :”))

Toki: RUBIA Leopard… 

Tsugumi: Hm? Did you say something? 

Toki: Ah no, it’s nothing. 

Reporter (on TV): (???) You won’t be able to look away! That’s all for now, see you next week! (TL: couldn’t get this either wahhh T T)

Tsugumi: Hey Toki, give me a sip of your oolong tea.

Tsugumi: Toki?

Toki: A-ah, sure.

Tsugumi: What’s up?

Toki: Mm… Tsugu, you still don’t want to make a pro debut? 

Tsugumi: Not at all. What, you want to go pro?

Toki: Not me, but you-

Mitsuru: Ah, there they are.

Tsugumi: Mitsuru, Hibari, over here!

Mitsuru: Sorry we’re late. 

Toki: Don’t sweat it, you’re right on time for when we planned to meet.

Mitsuru: It’s just like Hibari said.

Hibari: It’s Toki we’re talking about, I figured he wouldn’t say anything about us coming at the last minute.

Toki: You’re not very reliable…

Hibari: I know that~

Mitsuru: Hey, if we’re okay on time is it okay if I grab a bite?

Toki: That’s fine, but Tsugu got bentos from work for us too. 

Mitsuru: I’ll eat that, but I also want french fries. I’m also buying a vanilla shake for Hibari. 

Hibari: Haha, thank you. 

Toki: We can’t rest for too long, got it? 

Mitsuru: Got it.

Tsugumi: Ah Mitsuru, could you get chicken nuggets too? 

Toki: You’re still going to eat more?

Tsugumi: It’s fine, isn’t it?

Toki: Hey, you-! You said you’d only take a sip!

Tsugumi: Ah, I’ve been caught. But it’s just a little oolong tea~

Toki: If you wanted to drink it then buy it for yourself in the first place. 

Tsugumi: Fine, fine, I got it~ Can’t be helped, I’ll buy you another one so cheer up! ‘Kay?

Toki: Tch, why does it sound like I’m the one being selfish… 

Hibari: Hey, Toki-kun. 

Toki: Huh?

Hibari: What were you talking about with Tsugu-chan? When Mitsuru and I first got here, you had a troubled expression. 

Toki: Ah, you must’ve imagined it. 

Hibari: Hmm… 

Toki: What is it?

Hibari: Hmm, it’s nothing~ It was my imagination, right? 

Toki: Hrgh… 

Hibari: Someone’s getting a call. This is Tsugu-chan’s, isn’t it?

Toki: That guy forgot his phone again… I always tell him to keep it on him because of stuff like this. 

Hibari: Ah, it’s from Tobi-chan! He won’t end the call, huh… Maybe it’s something urgent?

Toki: Mm… Well, whatever. Hello, Tobikura-san? It’s Mizukawa. Tsugu just stepped away, so you can talk to me if you’d like. Ah, that… In that case, I have something to ask. Is that alright? Ah, but we’re about to start practice. Ah yes, I’ll talk to you again tonight. Thank you. 

Hibari: You really are overprotective when it comes to Tsugu-chan aren’t you, Toki-kun? 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hibari: Yup, right on time.

Hibari: Toki-kun, wake up.

Toki: Mm… Morning, Hibari. 

Hibari: Morning. I have a class first thing in the morning today, so I’m heading out. I’ll leave the key here. Leave it by the post as always. 

Toki: Got it. Ah, did you eat?

Hibari: I’ll eat out. The snacks we got from the convenience store on our way back from practice yesterday, they’re in the kitchen, alright?

Toki: Thanks. Sorry for intruding like this every time. 

Hibari: Don’t worry about it. It’s easier for all four of us to gather in a wide place like this, right? 

Toki: There’s no way you did, but is that why you got such a spacious room… 

Hibari: Hmm, correct~ It was just Mitsuru and me in our first year, but I knew that by the next year you and Tsugu-chan would be stopping by. Four guys settling down in a student’s one-room apartment would be way too cramped and narrow, I just couldn’t do that.

Toki: Did you tell your parents that?

Hibari: Of course not. I just said this is a good place. The rent for this place being 8,000 or 10,000 yen is just a calculation error, just an error~

Toki: An error that’s almost twice the amount…

Hibari: Toki-kun, you’re so serious~ Since they’re my parents, it’s okay to rely on them while I can, right?

Hibari: You also want to head off by 2, right? You’ll be late if you keep laying around like that. See you later.

Toki: Even with everything he says, that guy always goes to school right on time, huh. 

Tsugumi: Mm… The smell of food.

Toki: You’re finally up! Your food is ready. 

Tsugumi: Eh, for real? A ready meal as soon as you wake up is the best~ I’m going to live here from now on. 

Toki: Just saying, this is Hibari’s place and I’m a guest. 

Tsugumi: Let’s live here as the four of us~ Huh, where’s Hibari?

Toki: He went to school a while ago. Besides that, Tsugu, go wake up Mitsuru. 

Tsugumi: Don’t make such a hard request, you should do it!

Toki: He didn’t wake up when I tried so I’m leaving it up to you. 

Tsugumi: There’s no way, he definitely won’t get up. Mitsuru won’t get mad if the food gets cold anyway, let’s give it up. 

Toki: It can’t be helped, I’ll try again later. 

Tsugumi: Ahh, I’m starving… What’d I even eat yesterday? A hamburger, bento, and…

Toki: Your stomach really burns through food, huh.

Tsugumi: Even if you ask me, it’s a mystery to me too. Thank you for the meal!

Tsugumi: Ah, instant miso soup. 

Toki: If you’re going to complain you don’t have to eat it. 

Tsugumi: I’m not complaining. I meant that miso soup right when you wake up instantly gives you energy~

Toki: Is that right? 

Tsugumi: Besides that, the thing we were thinking about yesterday, let’s try to make it work before the next live. 

Toki: The live’s next week, right? If we rehearse after thinking about it more, we’ll barely make it. If you’re really serious about making it happen…

Tsugumi: I am serious. Toki: Easier said than done.

Tsugumi: Eh? Toki, are you giving up? 

Toki: Don’t talk like that.

Tsugumi: If you love me, shouldn’t you give it your all ‘til you drop dead? Toki: Such bad tastes…

Toki: Thanks for the meal.

Tsugumi: Time for school?

Toki: I’m a student after all. Ah that’s right, you work until the evening, right? Come with me to go out with Tobikura-san tonight. He went out of his way to invite us after all. 

Tsugumi: Ah that’s right, I got a message from him yesterday, I totally forgot. But what does he want to show us? 

Toki: Who knows? 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi hi!! after a long while, track 3 is finally finished~ thank you so much for bearing with me :”) <33 summer break is approaching at my uni, so please look forward to more TLs soon! as always, please let me know if you catch any mistakes and i’ll be sure to fix those asap (i’m still determined to catch what that reporter said...). in the meantime, please enjoy and see you next time ;D <3

[www-islandofsodor]

Hey guys, admin here. There’s been something brewing in my mind as of late and I only realized how true this was about a week ago. But do you know what Duck, James, and Daisy all have in common (besides the obvious)? Each of the eras didn’t do enough with them. Allow me to explain:

In the later half of the Railway Series, James had been relegated to the role of an NPC. His arc wasn’t really going anywhere and he began to fade away as the series progressed.

In the Model Era, The only reason why they didn’t do enough with Daisy is because her model seemed to experience technical difficulties (chassis issues, limited face plates, etc). Other than that, she suffered the same fate as James in the books; lack of spotlight stories.

In the Brennersance period of the CGI series, Duck wasn’t used to his full potential. Aside from the status quo change with his slip coaches and a flashback photo; the writers did the bare minimum when it came to the character.

As you can see, the three different eras have more or less royally screwed the characters. You’re now probably asking yourself, “isn’t there something we could do to rectify this?” Believe it or not there already is. It’s a solution that says easy as 1–2–3. All you have to do is swap the characters with the different eras. Allow me to elucidate such a solution.

In the Railway Series, Duck was practically treated like the second coming of Jesus by Rev. W. Awdry. His character journey was really fleshed out as evident by his slow rise from random one-off to secondary main character.

In the Model Era, James was really pushed to the foreground with the amount of character driven episodes he starred in. Not to mention, the insane amount of relationships/characters he interacted with. Coupled with his fun/consistent personality, it’s no wonder he’s a lot of people’s favorite character.

As for the Brenaissance period of the CGI series, Daisy was the real MVP in terms of character development. When she came back, she came back to the series swinging! Despite claims of Toby, James, and the China Clay twins being his favorites; Daisy was clearly Andrew Brenner’s actual favorite character as evident by the amount of episodes she was featured in. They really dove into her character during this time; she practically grew up which is remarkable considering that this is still Daisy we’re talking about here.

In conclusion, different characters flourish with the right era. Take Whiff for example; he was wasted in the HiT era. But in the Nitrogen Era, he was taken very seriously and given a few starring roles in later episodes. Hell, even Misty Island Rescue and All Engines Go did him justice! Now what does that tell you? With the right type of environment, characters (like people) can grow and evolve into something worth championing.

[devox2564]

In Your Heart

Jake Kizka x fem reader

Chapter 3: On The Road

You find yourself again on a stage. So far removed from that night in the bar when the Kizka twins brought Toby in to watch you perform. Although not incredibly different. The bright lights shine down on you as you work the guitar into a rhythm. You can feel sweat begin to form on your brow. Even after a few months, the experience is still exhilarating. 

Center stage stands Tabby, her tanned skin almost glows on stage and her voice resonates through the room. You were surprised to find upon meeting the band that Wolfsbanes front woman was a girl she'd been playing with for years. The bassist Anika was quiet but incredibly talented, and the drummer Liz gave the group an energy you'd never felt before. Performing with the three of them was effortless. 

The label had decided on a regional tour of the South. You've been in Georgia for about two weeks already but tonight's show has landed you in Savannah. It's been your favorite so far. As the last few bars of the last song ring out into the cool night air, you breathe in and feel your skin tingle. You smile out into the audience and take a bow with your bandmates. Tabby yells out "We are Wolfsbane. You've been wonderful Savannah! Good Night!"

Taking another bow, the four of you exit the stage. It doesn't take long before you are sprawled out on the bed back at the hotel. The view from the window overlooks the river and the street below. You close your eyes and savor in the afterglow of another successful performance. Suddenly your phone blares and vibrates on the bed next to you. David. Ugh. You answer. 

"Hey" he says shortly.

"Hi" you can sense the tension in his voice. 

"When are you coming home?" 

"I told you yesterday that we'll be back in about two weeks." you are annoyed "asking every day isn't going to get me back faster."

"Well I can't really be supportive of something I don't think is smart for you." he says sharply.

"You've made it clear since I signed that you aren't supportive of my career." your tone is cold.

There's a long pause and you hear his breath over the phone. That night, when you came home and told him excitedly that you would be touring with a real band, he was less than thrilled. David was always so practical. He wanted to get married. He wanted to get married, and have a stay at home wife and babies. It just wasn't a life you were ready for. At 24, there was just too much life to live for you to consider settling down. Marriage would be fine, as long as he was supportive of your career. This wasn't looking like it was going to pan out. You let loose a long sigh into the silence. 

"Let's get married." he says out of the blue, his tone false and bright.

"Wh- what. What David?" you're shocked. 

"You heard me, let's get married." his voice is upbeat, as though his request has solved the whole issue. "We'll get married and then you won't have to work like this. Not that you have to right now. I want to support you and have a family."

"David you know I love music. It's not about money for me." the exasperation is seeping into your voice. "You know what. We'll talk about it when I get home. I love you."

David does not reply. He just hangs up. You can almost see him in your minds eye mussing up his short blonde hair, brows furrowing with anger. David is bold and unpredictable. That's what you've always admired about him. He was fun. Over the span of the relationship the qualities that originally attracted you to him have soured. He angered easily, he was taken to making decisions on a dime, and he had zero impulse control. His light, soft features have sharp edges and shadows in your mind. 

You lay your phone back next to you on the bed. Just as you do, Tabby enters the room and flops down next to you. 

"David again?" she asks. Tabby can read you like a book. 

"How'd you know?" you reply with a snort.

"You get all wistful looking and shit when he calls. Like you're a million miles away." 

You give it a couple beats before you say anything to this. "He wants to get married."

"You're kidding right?" Tabby is holding back giggles. 

"I'm totally not kidding. He only wants to get married because he thinks I'll quit working." 

"There's no way-" Tabby is interrupted by the ringing of your phone.

You pick it up off the bed again and you're surprised to see that it's Jake. Tabby raises her eyebrows in a suggestive manner. "Don't say a fucking word" you tell her trying not to laugh. She's been on you to go after Jake since she found out he's the one who recommended you. But he's got a girlfriend. And you still have a boyfriend. Crossing that line just isn't in the cards.

You answer the phone with a light "Hello?"

"Hello yourself love." you can hear the grin in his voice. As well as a considerable din behind him.

"Where the hell are you? I can barely hear you." you reply.

"Try Savannah babe." He sounds drunk. "We're barhopping tonight and I hear Wolfsbane is in town."

"Indeed we are." you steel a glance at Tabby who is grinning like an idiot. 

"We'll meet you at your hotel. Hit the rooftops." 

"It's a plan." you say and hang up.

.....

Tabby elbows you as Jake approaches with his brother in tow. You shoot her an icy look out of the corner of your eye. She giggles. 

"Dahhhling" Jake drawls as he pulls you into a tight hug. The British accent seems to be a side effect of the liquor. He smells like he's been dunked in a barrel of whiskey. 

 "How much has he had?" you ask over his shoulder. 

"Enough to kill a horse." Josh replies with a hiccup and a toothy smile. 

The four of you make your way down the street towards a string of bars. You end up on a rooftop, neon all around and a beautiful view of the river. Music booms from speakers and you sit on a plush sofa, sipping and watching the bar patrons move amongst one another. 

Josh approaches the group, small glasses of clear liquor in tow. 

You grab one and bring it to your lips. Vodka. It burns all the way down. 

Before you can recover, your phone rings. You look down, and it's David. Again. Sighing, you rise from your seat and head over to the roof's edge. You bring the phone to your ear. 

"David?" you hope he can hear you over the music.

"Who is this?" a female voice answers you.

"Umm, who is this?" you're a bit startled.

"This is David's girlfriend Jen. I want to know who this is. Your number is in his phone under "sister" but there are photos between you two that suggest otherwise. So who are you?" Jen is apparently under the impression that her boyfriend David is cheating. 

"How long have you two been together?" your voice begins to quaver.

"Two years. As if that matters to you." Jen replies coldly.

You hang up without saying another word. You are.. beyond confused. Beyond hurt. Tears prick the corners of your eyes. They sting as they begin to run down your cheeks. Bracing your elbows on the roofs edge, you bury your head in your hands and let them fall. It's as though time has stopped around you. All two years of your relationship have been a lie. Whenever he wasn't with you he was with her. You wonder what she must look like. Was she tall, blonde, thin? Was she ready for a life of pilates classes, coffees, and missionary sex 2.5 times a month? Everything you weren't ready for. Through your tears, you manage to send a text. 

Y/n: Have your shit out of my place by the time I get back. I hope you and Jen are very happy together. 

Bubbles appear in the corner of the screen and you power down your phone. You'd prefer not to hear from David ever again. The wind from the moving water cools your face and your tears continue to flow as you look out into the night. A hand gently touches your arm and you turn your head. Jake looks a bit stunned as he sees the tears glistening in your eyes. You can tell that he's still drunk, but his sudden concern seems to have sobered him a bit. 

" What's wrong dahling?" still British, and with a small smile. It's a halfhearted effort to lighten the mood, and it fails. You try to hold back a fresh wave of tears. His smile falls and he looks at you softly before pulling you into his arms. 

"Really. What's wrong?" he asks resting his chin on top of your head. Now he's back to normal Jake. A great sign that the alcohol is wearing off a bit. 

You let a few moments pass, allowing yourself to calm slightly. Stepping away from him you lean your arms back onto the edge of the roof. "David's been keeping another girlfriend this whole time. We were just introduced over the phone. " your tone is bitter and you glance back at him. The tears are ebbing. Your face is numb from the alcohol but you're sober enough to feel how close the two of you are right now. He moves forward and his arm snakes around your shoulders, the free forearm resting next to yours. 

"Well he's got to be an idiot for thinking you wouldn't find out eventually." his hand rubs up and down your arm gently. His touch sends tingles down your spine. You move out of his reach again. 

"Look," you say with a half hearted chuckle/sob "I know we're friends and all, but I'm not so sure that Jita would be cool with..." 

He cuts you off "Why do you think I'm drinking myself silly?"

"What?" you're a little shocked by the interruption.

"She broke it off with me last week." his voice sounds close to cracking "she got back from London and moved all her things out."

You're flipping through the rolodex of things to say in your mind when you're wrapped in another hug. "I'm really fucked up right now so just let me hug you and we can be sad together."

Your head rests perfectly against the curve of his shoulder and his arms wrap you up. Staying there for a moment, you realize that the only thing you want to do right now is forget. Fuck feeling this way about David. For now at least, while the pain is still fresh, it might be nice to get fucked up and have fun. The music hums in the background of this odd, sad scene. Pulling away a bit and looking into Jake's face you can see his eyes are glistening with tears that have yet to fall. As drunk as he is, he's not gotten drunk enough to forget his pain tonight. 

"How about we get another drink?" you ask him shakily.

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea dahhling." he replies weakly, quickly drying his eyes with the back of his hand and flashing a smile. 

.

.

.

.

.

.

If you're reading this, thank you so much! Curious about what happens next? Keep an eye out for the next chapter! 

-E

[stardust-static]

I just planned a romantic ass date for me and my husband. I'm excited! I saw this ad for a drone show. I've always wanted to see one since they've become a thing, and this one looks so pretty! They're going to be making pretty shapes in the sky over a candlelit orchestra, and I was like "that's so sweet and romantic, but why stop there?" So then I made reservations at this Italian restaurant where they make table side pasta in a giant wheel of parmesan cheese. Bailey's favorite thing in this world is pasta. He's going to be so excited! Might even plan on spending some time at the observatory or something before that. Now that it's nice outside again I'm so ready to come out of summer hibernation and go do fun things! Our wedding anniversary is next week so I was thinking about going up to the mountains by where we got married and having a little nature walk and then going to this new restaurant that has a beautiful overlook of the forest. & Yes I am the romantical planner! Bailey works two jobs. He's just trying to survive. Plus I appreciate the hell out of him. So yeah, I am the experience planner & he pays for said experience, and enjoys himself. I told him that all I require for our anniversaries is that we go out on a date (of course) and that he gives me a single rose for every year that we've been married. I was reading about the paper, silver, gold, diamond years and all of that, and I think it's nonsense. I don't really want presents. I just want us to have a nice day together and to have a nice experience somewhere. That would make me happy. We'll see if he remembers the rose thing. I might have to give him a tentative reminder. Works been kicking his butt this week. He thought it would be a good idea to go back to work directly after vacation, and schedule himself for overtime. So he is working just one day shy of an entire week, and now I'm pretty sure he's getting this cold that's going around, and they made him shave his facial hair off, and now he looks like a whole new person. I don't think he's happy about it. So yeah... I'm gonna make damn sure he has a good anniversary. I did tell him the overtime thing right after vacation is a terrible idea, but he said he's going to get it while he can. So yeah I've just been trying to make sure he's well fed and that everything around here is all taken care of. Every year around this time Tobys allergies have been getting worse and worse. He already has to take allergy meds, but this time last year he lost all the hair around his eyes and his ears got all swollen. We had to take him to the emergency vet. It's something in the air around this time. Some kind of pollen. We can't figure it out. Only manage it. So yeah every morning he's getting Zyrtec and then he gets a different allergy med in the evening and then I give him a supplement that helps with seasonal allergies. It all helps so long as I don't let him frolic too long outside, but it really stresses me out. His newest thing is his paws. His paws are itchy now. So now I'm washing his feet at night and putting hot spot spray on them and that's helped a lot. That darn dog is so high maintenance. I'm going to have to go outside and start chopping down some plants. I'm trying to keep him out of the vet office this fall. 😩

[yelenasdiary]

13 with florence pugh please

Summer Getaway

Pairing: Florence Pugh x Reader 

Summary: You invited Florence to come along to a week away at your family’s cabin.

| Fluff | 1.01K | No Warnings | Florence & Reader are 18. 

Prompt: "l’ll say we'll take the boat out. Just you and me." From THIS list. 

AC: Ignore the fact this gif doesn't really go with the story.

Every Summer your family would spend a week away at a cabin that has been passed down from your grandfather to your father who has said when he passes, you and your younger brother, Alex, would have the cabin to share. 

The cabin was located near a large lake, surrounded by tall green trees, wildlife calling throughout the night and a clear view of the night sky. It was tucked away well enough for privacy, not needing to worry about any ‘neighbours’ making complains about loud noises if you were to throw a party. 

Florence tagged along every now and then if she was free. Florence is one of your closest friends. You guys have known each since your first day of school, so it was never a surprise to your parents when you’d come home and announce that Florence was coming along for the week getaway. 

Little did your family know that Florence and you had recently admitted you both had feelings for each other and wanted to take things slow and private. 

“I really want to spend the day with you, just us” Florence’s morning voice made you smile. Being friends for so long neither of you care to share the bed together but now it was different, it was exciting. 

“We can do that” you replied with a smile. 

“Away from your brother?” 

“And my parents” you added, brush a lock of hair out of her face. “How do you plan on making that happen? I love your family, I do but – “

“I know” you chuckled, “super in our faces this year” you add. 

“Only because we’re about to go to college and what not” 

You playfully rolled your eyes remembering how much your mother has been on your back about packing the things you truly needed. 

“I wish my parents were as chill as yours” you chuckled. 

“They are, it’s just that Toby has already done college so they kind of let all that stress and worry out on him and you’re the eldest so they’re going to stress” 

“I guess but it’s still frustrating! Mum won’t stop nagging me about packing, we still have all summer before we go so, I don’t see the harm in waiting until the last week of summer to pack”

“Let’s just enjoy the summer while we can before we’re slammed with exams and assignments again” Florence said before giving you a soft kiss. “Now, how do you plan to get us some time to ourselves?” Florence asked. 

“We’ll have breakfast and if dad asks what we want to do today, I’ll say we’ll take the boat out. Just you and me” 

“Will take work? I know how your dad gets about boat” Florence chuckled. 

“Yeah, it should be fine. It needs a run anyway, plus Alex is probably going to want to get his motorbike out so dad will help him with that” 

“Girls! Breakfast is ready!” your mother called from downstairs before Florence could reply.

After a big breakfast of eggs, toast, mushrooms, tomatoes, sausages, and sides of pancakes and of course, beans for those who enjoyed them, your father agreed you could take the boat out for a few hours as long as you took a walkie talkie in case of any emergency. 

Florence was the first to shower and get dressed, wearing a peach-coloured playsuit, her hair in a messy bun and layers of gold jewellery, topped with her iconic sunglasses. “Are you ready?” she smiled with excitement as you returned downstairs after having a shower. 

“I’m just going to grab a few sandwiches and some bottled water then we can go” you smiled as you walked into the kitchen. Your mother was always on top of things, after she’d have breakfast, she’d make up salads or sandwiches and put them in the fridge for lunch, saving time making them later.

“She’s all ready to go kid!” Your dad wore a proud smile after getting the small boat ready. 

“Thank you, dad! I’ll be careful and if anything happens, I have the walkie talkie” you assured him, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. “She’s got fuel and some back up under that blanket if you need. Don’t do anything stupid, okay?” 

“I promise” you smiled once more before making your way over to the boat. Your dad untied it from the wooden post and gave you a light push further into the lake as you got the engine to start. Your dad being the protective father he is, waved you both off until you were out of sight. Florence giggled before leaning over to kiss you properly now that you were both along. 

“I know a place we can chill unless you’d rather just float in the middle of the lake” you smiled after she pulled away. “I don’t mind what we do”.

You drove the boat a little further away from any signs of life before letting the boat just float above the water. Florence stripped from her playsuit, showing her light blue bikini underneath. “Are you coming?” she asked, throwing her playsuit on top of the blanket that covered the fuel from the hot sun. “Let me just put the anchor out” you smiled, flicking the switch that automatically released the medium sized anchor. 

Florence jumped into the warm water as you stripped into your own bathing suit before joining her. She swam close to you, wrapping her arms around the back of your neck as you placed your hands on her hips. Both of you kicking your legs to keep you both afloat. 

“I don’t say it enough but you’re so beautiful” Florence said softly, looking to your eyes through her sunglasses. “You don’t need too; you already show me” you gave her a soft smile. “I’m going to miss you so much when we go to college” she sighed with a little frown. “Don’t think about college right now, just enjoy the summer with me” you replied before kissing her once again, “right now, it’s just us” you whispered against her lips. 

Taglist: @red1culous | @bentleywolf29 | @natasha-belova | @jeyramarie | 

[sour--disposition]

Take Me By The Hand

-

harry lewis x fem!reader

-

requested: Heyy, could you do the ‘take my hand’ concept that you did with JJ, but with Harry?? Love your writing sm! Xxx

please see my pinned post for masterlist and request info!

One taking the others hand to help them up

You were 4 when you first met Harry properly. You’d been running around the playground, chasing after one of your friends when you’d taken a tumble and ended up in a small heap on the floor. Harry had come trotting over, sticking out a hand to help you up.

“Is your knee okay?”, he asked you.

“I don’t think so. It’s bleeding”, you told him sadly. 

Harry kept hold of your hand, dragging you over to where the teachers on duty were standing. “She hurt her knee”, Harry said bluntly, poking one of the adults and then pointing to your knee.

Harry followed you and the teacher inside, sitting next to you as you had your knee cleaned and a plaster stuck on. The teacher left to fill in the accident book and write a note for you to take home. “I’m Harry”, the boy said as soon as she’d left.

“I’m Y/N”, you told him with a bright grin.

“Shall we be best friends?”, Harry asked with a toothy smile.

“Yes!”.

-

Holding hands whilst one walks on a small wall

You and Harry had stayed best friends from that day forward. There wasn’t anything that you didn’t do together. Harry would always be the first person you’d turn to whenever anything was wrong. He held your hand through every trip you took to the first aid room in your primary school and he shouldered his way through to sit next to you whenever you were in a classroom together.

Harry asked you out on your first date when you were both 15. You’d gone to his house after school, pestering him until he did his homework before you let him outside. He’d been pacing around the lawn in front of you, completely distracted from his kickaround with Josh, as you sat on the deck with Rosie.

“What’s wrong with him?”, she asked from beside you.

“I have no idea”, you told her. “You know what he’s like though”, you dismissed, all the while worrying about your best friend.

Rosie and Josh ran inside 20 minutes later to help set the table for dinner, leaving you and Harry alone in the back garden. “Are you gonna tell me what’s up with you?”, you asked him.

“Do you wanna go on a date?”, Harry blurted, leaving you stunned. The two of you were wide-eyed in surprise, both with words caught in your throat that you were desperately trying to say. 

“Yeah”, you smiled.

A week later you met Harry by the beach. You’d seen each other through the week during school and spending the evenings after school together, but this evening felt different. This evening would be the one that potentially changed yours and Harry’s relationship forever.

You walked side by side down to the sea front, stopping and sitting on a small wall there. The two of you talked for hours, like you always did. Harry telling you about his family, about what happened in the few classes that you didn’t share together, telling you about his day and you returning the favour. You laughed well into the sunset, a soft silence falling over you as you watched the sun dip beneath the Guernsey horizon.

“It’s getting dark, and it’s cold. Let’s head back”, Harry suggested. As soon as you’d stood up, you stepped up onto the wall you’d just been sitting on, making you ever so slightly taller than Harry. With your arms held out for balance, you took a few tentative steps.

Harry reached out, grabbing your hand to keep you steady. You looked over to him, a shy smile on his face that you soon mirrored, paired with a rosy blush. Harry kept your hands entwined as you walked along the wall, matching his pace with yours so he didn’t rush you and cause you to stumble.

When you reached the end of the wall and jumped down, your hand didn’t leave Harry’s.

-

Holding hands whilst driving

Harry had never let whatever Youtube success he was gaining get in the way of the two of you. He always made time for you, always made you feel important. As soon as he’d learnt to drive and got a car, you and Harry would spend hours traversing the coastline, wind pouring into the window and billowing through your hair as you watched the cliffs and waves pass you by.

If you were in his car, Harry would insist on you being in the passenger seat, no matter who else was joining you. His hand would always rest on your thigh as he drove, only ever moving to change gear before quickly returning to its place.

Your fingers were wrapped loosely in his, making sure he was able to let go and reach for the gear stick whenever he needed to. The roads along the coastline were fairly straight, only ever bending slightly and no sharp turns in sight.

With the road empty bar from the two of you, Harry snuck a glance over to you. Your face was illuminated by the soft glow of the sun, hair windswept against the headrest and over your shoulders.

“I love you”, Harry said simply. It was no massive declaration, it didn’t have to be. You and Harry had been friends for 13 years, together for nearly 2. He’d loved you for as long as he could remember.

“I love you, too”.

-

Possessive hand holding

The first time you visited Harry in London was quite the nerve wracking experience. Aside from helping him move his stuff into his flat with Lux and Freezy, you’d barely seen him since he’d left the small island you both called home.

You waited by baggage claim, leg shaking with restless, nervous energy. It was just your luck that your suitcase was one of the last to make its way through and round the conveyor belt, the hall almost empty by the time you’d got your belongings.

Harry was waiting for you just outside arrivals, just as restless and nervous as you were. His eyes had been glued to the door from the minute you’d text him to let you know you’d reached baggage claim. Every person that walked out of the sliding doors that wasn’t you irritated him even further. It had only been a few weeks since he’d last seen you, and he was going mad.

At last, you trudged through the doors, looking a little worse for wear and incredibly pissed off. But you were there.

Harry wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight against his chest. “I’ve missed you so much”, he whispered into your hair. “The guys are already at my place, I hope that’s alright”, he told you. “They’re really excited to meet you”.

At Harry’s apartment building, he kept a tight hold on your hand as he led you upstairs. “Harry, it’s okay”, you assured him, squeezing his hand.

“Just nervous”, he told you.

Harry led you into the apartment, pausing for a second so you could drop your case by the door and kick your shoes off. His deathly tight grip on your hand never waned, like he was scared you were going to escape.

“Lads, Y/N”, Harry said awkwardly as he led you through the doorway. “Y/N, both of the Cals, Ethan, JJ, Simon, Josh, Tobi and Vik”, he introduced, pointing to each man in turn as he said their names.

“Nice to meet you”, you smiled happily.

You sat next to Harry on the sofa, squeezed up against his side. His hand was still gripping onto yours, squeezing tighter whenever any of the guys started to talk to you. “Harry”, you whispered, wiggling your fingers in his grip. “What’s wrong?”.

“Someone looks a little jealous if you ask me”, Freezy poked, wicked grin shooting across the living room.

“Oh, give over”, you scoffed, flicking Harry in the chest. “You buffoon. There’s nothing to worry about. Now ease up, you’re cutting off blood flow to my fingers”, you teased.

-

Rubbing their thumb over the other’s hand 

“I don’t wanna leave”, you sighed, leaning further into Harry’s chest. “I miss you too much”, you whispered.

“I miss you, too”, he told you, wrapping both arms around your body and pulling you closer.

Harry watched over your shoulder as you opened your phone and pulled up flight times for a few weeks time, scrolling through them to find the cheapest option. Seeing Harry as often as possible was taking its toll on your finances and Harry knew you’d only accept so much help from him.

“What if this was the last time you flew home?”, Harry asked into your hair.

“What do you mean?”, you asked, thumb pausing over the screen.

“I spoke to Cal about it the other day, before you came”, Harry started. “How would you feel about moving to London?”, he asked.

You turned in his arms, facing Harry. “Are you being serious?”, you asked, a blossoming grin eager to bloom over your face.

“As I’ve ever been”, he whispered.

3 weeks later, you waited at the gate in Guernsey airport, surrounded by your family. “I’m so happy for you”, your mum whispered as she pulled you in for a tight hug. When she pulled back, you were both laughing through the tears that had begun to shed. “You and Harry deserve to be happy”, she told you.

They watched and waved as you walked towards the flight bridge, knowing that this would be the last time they’d see you for a while. You sat in your seat, watching as Guernsey got smaller and smaller below you. Although leaving home was never going to be an easy thing, you knew that you could build a home wherever Harry was.

You’d already shipped a lot of your stuff over to Harry, leaving you only to bring a large suitcase with you on your flight. You had no idea what to expect when you arrived, whether your stuff would be in Harry’s room or boxes strewn into whatever corner of the apartment they could fit into.

“Here”, Harry said as you sat in the car in the car park outside of the apartment building. He handed you a key on a keyring. “House keys”, he told you.

“Thank you”, you smiled

Harry pulled your case behind you as you walked up to the apartment. You stilled in front of the door, Harry pulling to a stop next to you. “Are you okay?”, Harry asked, voice filled with concern.

“Yeah”, you assured him quietly. “It’s just a lot, y’know”, you murmured.

“I know”. Harry’s thumb skimmed across the back of your hand in a soft, repetitive, soothing pattern. “I love you”, he reminded you, thumb never halting its soft reassurance against your skin.

“I know”, you smiled up at him. “But I love you more”.

-

Unconsciously searching for the other’s hand whilst asleep

If you were to ask Harry when he knew you’d be in his life forever, he’d have told you when the two of you were 5. Teasing from the other kids about you being best friends with each other was almost never-ending, but you and Harry always found a way to make light of it.

It wasn’t uncommon to see you and Harry playing with the dolls amongst the other little girls or racing around through the mud with the other boys. Everyone quickly learnt that where Harry went, you went and where you went, Harry went.

Harry knew you were going to be his bestest friend forever when he’d sat down on the grass to play and realised that there were no toys left. You’d come and sat down next to him and you’d played in the mud together, making daisy chains and mud pies and potions that you stirred with sticks, never caring about the dirt coating your pretty pinafore dress.

If you were to ask Harry when he knew that your relationship was meant to last, he would fumble and stumble over his words, not really knowing what to say. It was something that brought his friends great joy, asking what he saw in the future for the two of you. After all, you had been together since you were 15.

The night Harry realised you were his one great love was rather anti-climatic. There was no fireworks or mind-blowing kiss or Earth shattering sex. In fact, you were curled up asleep next to Harry, hair piled on top of your head and the hem of one of his Sidemen Clothing shirts riding up on your thigh.

He’d shut his computer down and gotten ready for bed, sliding in next to you as quietly as possible. Whilst he was lounging in bed next to you, attention focused on the screen of his phone, you’d started shifting beside him. Harry laid stock still, not wanting to wake you up with any movements.

Instead, you reached a hand across the bed, seemingly searching for something. When you couldn’t find whatever it was you were looking for, a frown settled itself onto your face. Harry was sure you were dreaming, but couldn’t resist closing the gap between your fingers and his.

The minute Harry hooked his fingers around yours, the frown on your face disappeared, replaced by a soft, blissful smile. Harry had known you long enough and knew you well enough to know that you were still fast asleep, the gentle sighs falling from your mouth being a dead giveaway.

So, if you asked Harry when he knew that your love was meant to last, he’d tell anyone that listened that it was the moment he realised you loved him even in your dreams.

[feferipeixes]

Child I Will Hurt You

One of the weirdest things to Alcor about being a father was how automatically Toby trusted him.

Which really freaked him out because he didn’t feel he should be trusted to raise a child. After all, he was practically still a child himself.

(See the most updated version on AO3!)

===

The thing that scared Alcor the most about raising Toby was how fully the boy trusted him.

He’d experienced and marveled at that kind of trust before. When Mabel found him after that fateful day in 2012 and threw herself at him, sobbing with relief that he wasn’t gone after all, he felt it. When Stan took him and Mabel into his home a few years later, patted him on the back and said “It’s no problem, kid”, he felt it. When he warned Mabel that he shouldn’t be trusted with the triplets’ true names and Mabel shouted him right out of his self-flagellation, he felt it.

The first day he brought Toby home after finding him alone and shivering on the street, he felt something very different.

Panic.

Panic over who the child in front of him truly was underneath that thin layer of flesh. Panic over what would happen if he didn’t stop whatever Bill was planning. Panic as he remembered Weirdmageddon over and over again in complete, horrific detail.

“Listen kid,” he said, floating a few feet off the ground so he could better tower over the child, “no funny business, okay? You hear me in there, Bill?”

Toby only cocked his head, scraggly and unwashed golden locks tumbling away from his face to reveal his scarred eye. He still wore the half-scared half-curious look he’d had when he’d first caught the demon’s attention, but there was something else bubbling up. Something that tasted suspiciously like trust.

It really freaked Alcor out because he didn’t feel he should be trusted to raise a child. Trust was something you gave to adults who knew what they were doing, after all, and he was practically still a child himself.

Alcor grimaced, and lowered onto his knees so he could look the boy directly in the eyes. “I mean it. I’m watching you. I’ll know if anything bad happens.”

To his surprise, Toby smiled at that. “You can make the bad things stop?”

“Yes,” Alcor replied, his voice cracking like it hadn’t in centuries because he was already messing this up, he was sure of it. “N-no getting into trouble. Not on my watch.”

The boy’s face lit up, trust shining brilliant from both eyes, and before Alcor could tell what was happening, Toby had reached up and hugged him around the neck.

And the demon remembered

Bill’s little pipe cleaner hands iron-clad around his neck,

Squeezing the life out of him,

Blue fire rushing all over his body,

Over and into his soul,

Screaming until there was no more breath left in him,

And the little boy’s smile radiated such trust and hope that Alcor was left completely speechless.

“Thank you,” Toby squeaked, and Alcor felt it.

---

“Oh stars, I can’t do this, I can’t do this!” Alcor was in his human disguise, head in hands, elbows resting on the counter, rambling like the world was ending. “I’m way in over my head. Raising a child? Me? I mean I looked after Mabel’s triplets but this is so different…”

“...Sir?” The cashier’s hand hovered over Alcor’s head, unsure whether it was appropriate or comforting to actually pat him. “Are you alright?”

“No!” he fumed, lashing out and knocking over some of his groceries. “I have a six year old at home and he trusts me to look after him and keep him safe! How could this possibly have happened?”

“Uh…” The cashier peered behind the man to the customers in line, most of whom looked some degree of disgruntled or confused. She gave them a little wave to indicate that they should probably move to a different register, and then turned back to the man who appeared to be hyperventilating now. “Do you have a partner? Anyone who’s helping you?”

“Of course not, I’m alone, I’ve got no friends,” he moaned. “There’s no one who I trust enough to foist Toby off to. The poor boy has such bad karma -- he needs me to protect him from that or he’ll get eaten alive!”

“Well… it sounds like you’ve got the right instincts at least. You want to keep him safe.”

“That’s just it! I don’t!” Alcor picked his head up and the cashier saw streaks of a strange yellow liquid running down his face. “Everything I’m doing for him is just stuff I picked up from watching my sister raise her kids! I don’t have any kind of adulting instincts -- none at all! I transcended when I was fucking twelve and that’s where I’ll be stuck until the end of time. I’m just a pointless child! I’ve got too much power and no actual ability to help anyone!”

The cashier sighed and -- after the man nodded to say it was alright -- put her hand on his shoulder. “Listen, man, all of that stuff sounds normal.” (Except for the parts that made no sense to her at all but she opted to ignore them.) “No one knows how to raise a kid, and no one ever feels like they’ve grown up. You learn it as you go. Trust me, my kids ran me ragged and I had no idea what I was doing. But they turned out alright. So will yours.”

Alcor’s voice began to wobble, and he pressed gloved hands to his temples. “But he won’t! I’m developmentally frozen. I’m not capable of learning anything! Seriously, what kind of adult buys this much candy?”

She glanced at his cart, which indeed was half filled with Giddy Cowboys and Sneakers bars. “That is a lot,” she admitted. “I would not advise giving your kid that much candy.”

“What? No.” Alcor stopped sniffling and pulled a face like he’d just smelled poo. “That’s for me. I’m buying all these vegetables and milk and chicken for Toby. He’s a growing kid, he needs to eat healthy, get all those food groups in, you know. I’m not stupid. But I am childish for liking candy so much that I’d eat this much of it in a week! I mean, seriously! Oh stars, I’m hopeless!”

The cashier lifted an eyebrow and removed her hand. “You eat all of this… in a week?”

“I know, I know, I’m ridiculous!”

“That’s not what I meant,” the cashier cut in, before he could start gibbering again. “I’m just worried about your teeth. Your… teeth…” She trailed off as the man suddenly yawned, exposing two rows of jagged knives that could sink into her flesh in an instant. “Your, um, your- your-”

Alcor pulled a mirror out of seemingly nowhere and started picking at his teeth. “What, do I have something in them?”

The cashier’s eyes widened even more as the man’s gloves came off. “My… what pointy claws you have…”

“Thank- wait.” Alcor froze, one long blackened nail still pressed into his gum. “Wait a minute. Pointy. Sharp. Cutting and slicing and ripping open oh stars!”

“Um- um- um-” the cashier tried to say, but with every word she felt like she was shrinking until she’d be swallowed up by her clothes. “Slicing?”

Alcor shook his head furiously, and this time his fist was positively trembling when it came down onto the counter. “I haven’t child proofed the knife drawer in the kitchen!”

He flipped his hat off of his head and pulled out a wad of cash, which he then thrust into the cashier’s hands just as her lights went out. Before anyone else could react, he vanished into thin air, taking his groceries and the shopping cart with him.

“I can’t believe I didn’t think of this before,” Alcor grumbled as he zeroed in on the offending drawer. He pulled it open and there they were -- obscene, dangerous implements that he was a wicked and cruel caretaker to have potentially exposed his child to. He couldn’t stop imagining what might’ve happened if Toby had tried to pull open the drawer and it had fallen on him -- couldn’t stop thinking about his little boy sticking his adorable hand in and receiving cuts and lacerations and awful, awful sobbing filling the house…

With a snap, child locks were in place. Alcor tested them out by trying to pull the drawer open -- and it took a few tries before even he was able to. Sighing with relief, he leaned against the counter and slid down to the floor. His feet bumped up against the shopping cart sitting in the middle of the kitchen, overflowing with Reece’s Mugs and Chortle Taffy and Quasarbursts.

He couldn’t do this. He was too irresponsible.

Alcor dug a hand into the cart and pulled out a candy bar. He sank his teeth into it, enjoyed the rush of sweetness that was almost as good as flesh and bone. Slowly he began to unclench his muscles -- even though his form was imaginary, the cramps shooting throughout his body still hurt. He slid down the counter a little further, almost letting his head touch the floor -- and then he noticed it.

The stairs.

Bolting upright, Alcor let the candy bar fall from his hand. The stairs. How hadn’t he thought about that before? What if Toby fell down and tumbled into the banister and lost his other eye? What if what if what if?

Not a minute later, the demon was wrestling with child safety gates, somehow struggling even with all of his considerable power just to get them to attach to the wall. At one point he tipped his jaw back and used his tongue to line the edges with spit, which then solidified like glue. The stairs had to be safe. He couldn’t risk Toby getting hurt.

And with that thought came even more thoughts that sent Alcor racing through the house. What if Toby slipped in the bathtub? What if Toby climbed on top of the fridge and couldn’t get down? What if Bill slammed his arm in a drawer again and again and again and again until it was full of forks and then he poured soda into his eyes and laughed like a maniac while Dipper drowned in the vast emptiness of the Mindscape???

Alcor stiffened. He set down the intricate contraption he’d been building to keep Toby safe from wild animals in the backyard. And he looked into the mirror.

What was he doing?

This was Bill’s soul he was fretting over. It was always him, on the inside, and he’d known it from the very first day he’d seen the boy. He knew what was lurking beneath the surface, what kind of monster slept in that innocent form waiting until one day he could reach out and traumatize his father once more. Reach out and steal his beating heart, and laugh, and live, and die, and laugh, and live, and die, in a way he’d never be able to again.

A chill passed through Alcor’s body. Something had to be wrong with him, because he knew what Toby was and he’d spent the entire week worrying about the boy. Why did he care so much?

Quietly, he crept down the hall, and peered into the bedroom on the right. There he was -- the beast himself -- sleeping soundly in a bed decorated with race cars and rocket ships. A few more steps, and Alcor could see how small he looked, how even in his sleep he seemed so broken. And the demonic instincts that had rushed through Alcor since the day he’d gone up in flames were quelled, because every fiber of his being told him he needed to protect this child.

He rested a hand on the boy’s forehead, and watched him dream about running around in a field of grass, playing catch with his new father.

---

Thus started a new routine. A demon, trying day-to-day to take care of a small child. Playing grown up even though he felt so utterly unprepared for what he was doing. But Alcor’s life didn’t stop when he became a parent.

Neither did any of his other regular obligations.

“Oh, you’re asking for it now!” Alcor roared, jumping to his feet. “I’m gonna run you through with my sword! Die die die die!”

The dungeon master -- Damien -- peered over his half-rimmed glasses at the demon and smirked. “Not gonna work, I’m afraid. The slime beast’s armor is too thick to be pierced by a sword such as your own.”

Alcor gaped with disbelief. “Whaaat? I call foul play! You let Anushka do it!”

“Anushka’s sword has a fire enchantment on it. Slime armor is weak to heat.”

“Also, I said die five times,” Anushka added with a shit-eating grin on her face, jabbing Alcor in the side with her elbow. “Die die die die die!”

Alcor snorted and dropped back into his chair. “Well, you got me there.” He looked at the other players, disappointment rolling over into amusement. “Can I change my move or am I locked in?”

Damien shrugged. “Go for it. I don’t think you’ll be able to beat it this turn though, and you’ve only got one hit point remaining.”

Nat leaned over and whispered in his ear. “Yo, I’ve got an idea. You should defend this turn and try to survive the slime’s attack, and then on my turn I can fire enchant your sword.”

“Huh. Maybe…” He patted his head to get the spittle out of his ear, and surveyed the map of the dungeon they were in. Then he sat bolt upright in his seat, a large exclamation mark appearing over his head. “Damien. How many sword actions do I get this turn?”

Damien rolled a die. “Two.”

“Yessss. Okay. First, I lunge at the slime again! But with the blunt end of my sword so it gets knocked back.”

Damien rolled another die. “Yep. That works. Are you gonna use your free movement to approach it again?”

Alcor shook his head. “Nope. I’m gonna throw my sword -”

“Your sword doesn’t have enough piercing damage to make a difference from that distance, I’m afraid.”

The room’s dim lighting glinted off of razor sharp teeth. “- at the cable holding up the chandelier.”

Anushka and Nat dropped their pencils, and looked straight up, momentarily forgetting that they were not actually in the dungeon they were traversing. “You what?”

Damien rolled a die again, and sucked in a sharp breath. “Alright. The chandelier falls onto the slime beast before it can react. It quickly catches on fire, leaving it too weak to attack. Congrats!”

Beaming, Alcor scribbled some numbers on his character sheet. “Heck yeah. No slime beast is strong enough to get one past the Dreambender.”

“You’re so creative, Al,” Nat said. “Seriously, wow. I never would’ve thought of that.”

He wove off the compliment. “Naw, I’m just basically a large child. Being silly and immature is what they’re good at.”

Looking up over his dungeon master partition, Damien furrowed his brow. “Why do you say you’re immature -”

There was a ringing in Alcor’s head -- a tug on a bond -- and he held up his hand. “Wait, hold that thought. Speaking of children, my kid’s calling me. I’m gonna have to leave early this week.” He stood up, and did a dramatic bow. “I’ll see ya all next week! Don’t lose my summoning circle!”

Toby -- lying flat on the floor of the Mystery Shack -- perked up at the sight of his adoptive father walking through the door. Tyrone looked about as human as they come -- a man in his mid-thirties with soft brown eyes, no wings, and feet that always touched the ground. He opened his arms and Toby came running to hug him.

Right away there was that trust again, that total trust that Alcor still couldn’t believe he deserved. How could someone like him -- someone who’d just spent two hours playing a tabletop role playing game and laughing about memes -- be trusted to take care of a child?

Gingerly, he took Toby into his arms and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “How are you doing?”

“I’m boooooooored!” Toby whined. “Can we play a game? I wanna play pretend!”

Chuckling, Alcor put Toby down and then sat beside him on the floor. “Sure thing, kid. You know, I’m pretty good at playing games like that. I was playing one with my friends earlier today.”

Toby’s jaw dropped. “Whoaaaaa! You have friends?”

A vein bulged in Alcor’s forehead. “Of course I- never mind. What’s the game, kid? What are we pretending?”

Toby jumped up and started pacing in a circle. “I wanna make up a story! It’s gonna be great! I’ll be the hero and you’ll be the bad guy -- an evil king who wants to kill all of the good people in the land! Is… is that okay?”

There was a mirror mounted on the wall behind where Toby had been sitting. Without the boy in his way, Alcor found his gaze fixed on it. He could see Toby gesturing as he walked and he could see the nostalgic decorations hanging on the wall of the Shack. But there was no Tyrone to speak of.

It took a moment for him to realize that Toby was talking to him. “What? Oh yeah. Of course, kid. I’ll be the bad guy.” He took a deep breath, discarding the voice in his head that furiously objected to him being the villain to Bill’s hero. “What’s my motivation?”

Toby cocked his head. “Moti- what?”

“What’s my backstory? Why am I evil?”

The boy continued to stare at him with a blank look on his face. “You’re evil cause you’re the bad guy and bad guys are evil!”

“That’s kinda boring- never mind.” Alcor grimaced and looked back at the mirror. “So you’re the hero, eh? How are you going to defeat me? What’s the hero good at?”

“Everything!!!!” Toby squealed, and his reflection grabbed onto something invisible. “The hero is the good guy so I should always win and I’ll have all of the magic and the biggest swords ever!”

Alcor shifted so that Toby was hanging onto his shoulders rather than around his middle. “Everything? But if the hero always wins, what’s the point?”

“The good guy always has to win!” the boy chirped, squeezing tight around Alcor’s neck. “Always!”

Oh my stars this is so boring, Alcor thought. How fricking uninventive is Bill’s soul? Children are supposed to be good at being silly and creative. I guess all Bill’s soul can think about is being powerful again.

A figure stepped into the room on the other side of the mirror. It was short -- looked to be about 12 years old -- and had clawed hands, bat wings sprouting from its hips, and a fancy suit that looked out of place for someone so young. Alcor’s jaw dropped as he watched the figure pick up Toby’s reflection, pat him on the back, and then stare directly out of the mirror at the demon.

“This is a game for children,” the figure said in a low growl.

“What?” Alcor yelped.

Toby giggled at the interruption. “I said that all the evil people should die because they’re mean! No one should ever do a bad thing!“

“This is what children are like. They see in black-and-white because they know nothing about how the world works.” Cold, black eyes bored into Alcor’s skull. “Have you forgotten what that’s like?”

“B-but I’m silly,” Alcor stammered, sweat starting to drip down his face. “I’m irresponsible. I love playing games and coming up with interesting stories. Those are childish things for someone as old as me to be doing.”

“Dad?” Toby asked. “What are you saying? I can’t hear you.”

The figure sneered, baring two sets of sharp teeth uncomfortably close to Toby’s head. “Whoever told you that must’ve really hated the idea of growing up.” Toby stirred, and it spent a moment cradling him so he’d calm down. Then those eyes -- now bright and full of gold -- flicked back at the demon. “Who said it? Was it you?”

Alcor gasped and fell over. Toby shrieked as he suddenly found himself tumbling to the ground, and the sound broke Alcor right out of his trance. Quick as a whistle, he pirouetted and caught the boy in his arms, pulling him close to his chest in a tight hug.

“Oh no, oh Toby, are you alright?” he fretted. “Did you get hurt?”

“I’m okay!” Toby squeaked, his face pressed against Alcor’s collarbone. Alcor loosened up on his hug, and took in Toby’s smile. “That was fun! You always catch me! That’s how I know you’re really a good guy.”

“I’m a good guy?” Alcor gulped, and glanced back at the mirror. This time he saw himself, in his present human disguise, holding Toby close, and looking so, so utterly responsible. It freaked him out.

“...Dad?” Toby asked, brow crumpled. “Daaaaad what are you thinking?”

“I think…” Alcor sighed, and gave his son a little kiss on the forehead. “I think it’s time you got some friends your own age.”

---

From that day on, things were a little different.

Alcor bought a house in the physical plane, because a memory of a shack in the Mindscape was no place to raise a child.

“Dad?”

He doctored forms and documents so it not only looked like a certain Tyrone Pines actually existed, but also that he and his adopted son Tobias Pines were legal residents of a sleepy town in the middle of Washington. This let Toby attend school with kids his own age.

“What is it, Toby?”

He went to the library on the weekly to check out parenting books, having long exhausted the meager supply of advice his omniscience had to offer -- as it turned out, parenting was very much a learn-as-you-go experience with few absolute truths to guide you.

“What’s a demon?”

Alcor froze, his hand halfway in the process of turning a page in his book. He started to turn his head around to look at the boy, and remembered just in time to turn his body around with it.

“Where did you hear that?” Alcor asked carefully.

Toby kept his head down, opting to study his father’s shoes instead of his face. “I, um...”

There it was again, that emotion bubbling up inside of Alcor, that instinctual distrust he couldn’t help but feel for the soul who had once taken everything from him. It was all he could do not to jump up and yell “Aha! Caught you red-handed, Bill! I knew you were in there all along!”

He got out of his chair and knelt in front of the child, using a finger to gently raise the boy’s head so they could see eye-to-eye. “You can tell me,” he said softly. “It’s okay.”

Alcor saw Toby reach into that pure, automatic trust he had for the monster who was raising him. The boy gulped, and squared his shoulders.

“Um... Devon’s dad said it to Devon.”

Alcor blinked. “Is that so? Devon, the kid in your class who asked you to play baseball with him?”

Toby nodded. “H-he was asking me again, and I know you said I wasn’t allowed to, but he started showing me anyway. He got his bat and swinged it and it looked really cool. Then his dad yelled at him and said ‘Devon, you little demon, cut that out right now!’“

Alcor could only stare, mouth agape, in response. Toby started to tremble as he continued speaking. “Then Devon’s dad took the baseball bat and Devon got really sad and I didn’t know what it means but it looked bad and I don’t want to be a little demon and I’m really really sorry I said I wanted to play baseball I don’t want to be a demon I don’t I don’t -”

He cut off with a squeak as his father took him into his arms and hugged him tight.

Alcor was a being with access to more power and magic than almost anything else in the universe. He could level mountains, he could turn cities inside out, he could institute universal basic income on the moon with a snap of his fingers.

But when he held Toby in his arms, when he saw the awestruck look on the boy’s face when he played the violin for him, when he listened to Toby babble excitedly about whatever he’d learned in school that day, Alcor felt powerful.

All of his magic crumbled beneath the obscene power granted to him by way of this child’s trust in him. He had the power to protect this child, to support and encourage him to grow up to be the best person he could be. He could also betray Toby’s trust so, so easily.

He could punish his son for no reason if he needed an emotional pick-me-up. He could disregard the boy’s concerns and laugh in his face. He could even raise his voice just a little too much, caught in a moment of frustration, and leave Toby wincing in distress -- an ephemeral moment in Alcor’s life but an upsetting and formative moment in Toby’s which could forever mar their relationship.

That would be childish. That would be immature of him.

Alcor had killed reams of cultists, had bestowed disturbing curses on people who’d only sort of deserved it, had terraformed the western coast of the United States in a fit of rage. He’d done a lot of horrible things with his magic, but.

This power, this power he had to shape Toby’s life.

This power horrified him.

“You’re not a demon,” Alcor said, (and it felt so unfair to be saying that to him of all people -- so cruel and dirty that he wanted to scream until his hair fell out. But he didn’t.)

“Don’t cry,” (even though no one had held him when he cried that day in 2012, because he’d simply slipped through their fingers, and he wanted to repay that favor. But he didn’t.)

“Daddy’s here,” he whispered, before kissing Toby’s tears away. “You’re not in trouble.”

The words came so naturally, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. As if he had the experience to understand what was upsetting his son, and the power to make it better. As if he had the maturity to push past his own conflicted feelings, because he was an adult, and this was a little child.

He set Toby down, and kneeled to meet his eyes. In that moment, he felt tall. Sort of grown up.

Toby sniffled. “You’d never yell at me? Even if I do something wrong?”

Alcor thought once again back to the day he’d seen Bill Cipher on the side of the road. Thought about the furious, vengeful part of him that enjoyed the boy’s suffering because that’s what he deserved. Remarked on how the universe had served him up his greatest enemy in the most vulnerable form possible, giving him the opportunity to take Toby’s trust and do unspeakable things to him.

“Sure thing, kiddo,” he said, ruffling the boy’s hair. “I promise.”

Remembered how he’d instead chosen love.

---

It was a dark and stormy night that found Alcor wandering the streets of a mostly-abandoned city.

He’d been summoned -- it always started with a summons -- and he’d been angry. It didn’t even matter what had made him angry, because there were so many things these days that people absolutely would not stop doing no matter how much he screamed and threatened and threw flaming balls of plasma into their twisted places of worship. They never learned. And neither did he.

Alcor couldn’t stand how many people had to die because of him. How many people were killed in his name. How many lives he’d taken with his own hands because he couldn’t seem to stop, like an immature brat who throws tantrums when things don’t go his way. He wondered if he could ever change, or if he was just stuck this way.

It was deep in these thoughts that the demon heard a little noise. A squeak, barely audible over the rain. He dismissed it at first, because his grand thoughts were more important than the world around him, and right after a bad summons was the perfect time for self-hatred. It felt good -- it was one of the only things that still did. He considered burning the entire city to the ground. Maybe that’d feel even better.

Something told him that it wouldn’t.

He heard the squeak again, his eyes darting over to a heap of trash bags between two buildings, and that’s when he saw him. A little boy with golden hair, no older than six. He was dressed in rags. He looked like he hadn’t seen a scrap of food in days. The left side of his face had been eaten away by flame, leaving it patchy and discolored.

Alcor had seen right through Bill’s disguise, of course. There wasn’t a meatsuit pitiable enough to blot out the sins his soul had committed. Perhaps that was why he had been abandoned on the side of the street to begin with -- karma was finally catching up with him. Alcor wanted to laugh, but he couldn’t. Something strange was going on inside of him. Some sort of instinct buried within him -- not one tipped with blood and claws, but one that creaked and groaned under centuries of exertion.

It was this feeling that prompted him to gather up the child in his arms. He felt how fast the boy’s heart was beating; saw in his past how much he’d been hurt without an adult to protect him. He knew that feeling well.

“It’s okay,” he murmured as Toby began to fuss. “Things will be better now. I’ll protect you. I might only be a child myself, but I promise I’ll protect you.”

One year later, one year of introspection, growth, and unbroken promises later, he had to admit he’d been wrong.

(AO3 link)

[slytherinsnekxvii]

muggle snape au!

Eileen Prince is young when she runs away from home. The older she gets, the bleaker life seems, each year following the decades-old pattern of betrothals and politics and scandals and orders and tradition. It's tedious, and everyone knows it. No one speaks about it. She turns fourteen and then fifteen and then sixteen, and each time she sits for a new portrait, the effort it takes to maintain a smile grows greater and greater. By seventeen, she truly can't be bothered anymore.

She graduates that same year, her grades impeccable, and does... nothing. At home, there is no Gobstones team to captain, no reason to tend to the garden when there are elves about. She attends dinner parties and weddings and galas, straight-faced at her parents' side, waits for her parents to marry her off until she can endure it no longer. Six months after she turns seventeen, she attends Abraxas Malfoy's wedding, nods politely, makes small talk when she's spoken to and feels something shift at the back of her mind when she realises that this isn't what she wants. When they return home that night and everyone else has gone to bed, Eileen quietly packs her things and leaves.

She runs away without knowing where she's going or what she intends to do, but she does, and she loves. She loves the world; for years, she travels lightly and quickly so that she can see as much of it as she can, delighted in even the dusty, cracked streets of Cokesworth. She loves learning; she picks up languages and skills and all manner of things for the sheer joy of it. She loves a man; his name is Tobias and he calls her 'Leen and makes her blush and she loves until it makes her heart ache to think of him and her kisses are a prayer away from being worship.

Eileen's trouble—for everyone has their own sort—is that she loves. She loves Tobias and she learns that he is not a man who enjoys secrets, and even less a man who could bear having a witch for a wife. She loves the world and it betrays her. It shows her families, loyal and loving and cruel in the stinging way of wounded pride and the dull ache of regret, and she wants nothing more than to hate even the thought of such a thing. It shows her a happiness that she cannot have if her child is born the way that she was.

So, instead of hating the world and the hand it's dealt for her, Eileen, who doesn't love so much as she devotes herself utterly (to travelling, and to learning, and to one man), thinks of her child and promises, fierce and uncompromising, that she will love them too and she will do everything in her power to care for them.

Her son is born on January 9th, 1960, and she loves him. She loves him, and she loves her husband and she loves their family, so she holds her breath for the first three or four years of his life, waiting and waiting for any sign of accidental magic, anything at all that might prove his heritage to his father.

She gets her sign one day, when Tobias is at work and her books begin levitating without a single bit of effort from her. It's all she needs.

She loves them, so she tells herself that she is a witch and she is capable and Toby doesn't have to know. When her husband and son—her family—have gone to bed, she rifles through her old things, the few books and such that she'd taken with her when she fled from her parents' home until she finds what she's looking for.

She blows dust off the cover, opens the book and listens to the spine creaking and the rustle of paper as the book flips through its own pages. They stop, gently falling open at the potion she needs and she nods, once, determined. The ingredients are fickle things, but she'd been good at Herbology in school—perhaps even better than she was at Potions—and so, it's not much to take a very quick, very discreet trip into Diagon Alley to find the seedlings she needs and nurse them to maturity within days. The trip to the Apothecary is a little harder, but nobody's really paying attention to who comes and goes at this time of year, so she buys what she needs with what she has and she leaves.

It's an old, old potion, used for many different things, deceptively easy to brew. It was once circulated amongst the Azkaban wardens for use on particularly unruly prisoners, especially when it couldn't be justified to give them the Dementor's Kiss. The Ministry used to administer it to people like her, who ran away from their lives to make homes in the Muggle communities. People whose very existence was once a threat to the secrecy of the Wizarding World. She is about to use it on her son, to make sure that her husband never knows about magic, never has the chance to find an excuse to leave them, to hurt them, to stop loving them.

She relies on old skills, brews in the kitchen while Toby's away at the mill and Severus is at school. The day it's finished, Tobias sees it on the fire before she can hide it away and wrinkles his nose at it, asks what it is.  She grits her teeth and ignores the pounding of her heart in her chest as she tells him it's a failed attempt at a new recipe and tries to turn him back to the table. A muffled thunk catches her attention, so she looks over his shoulder, watches Severus' glass bounce—bounce—off the solid floor and quietly loses her mind.

"All right there, 'Leen?" Tobias rumbles at her, and she shakes her head and orders them both back to the table. She prepares three plates of food—recently, there's been enough to feed them all comfortably, what with Tobias dragging Severus out to the mill or the park, sometimes, rather than spending all his free time and money at the pub. Silently, she scrapes the potion into the smallest of the lot, mixes it in until it's unnoticeable except for, perhaps, the taste. She eats with her husband and her son, and while Severus does wrinkle his nose a bit, he doesn't say anything and finishes the meal.

He's sick for a week. Fever burns through his tiny body, wreaking havoc on an already poor immune system. She panics a little—it isn't supposed to last this long, why is it taking so long?—but, still, she sits at his bedside with water and cold compresses, until he breathes easy, and sleeps restfully. The fever breaks, and he goes back to school. She continues to watch him. Glasses shatter, toys do not levitate, windows remain shut and she finds herself smiling despite the guilt that bubbles under her skin, sometimes. She's just burnt out her son's magical core, after all. Used one of the Wizarding World's most ancient punishments and turned him into a Muggle.

The years pass by, slowly, and quietly, with no fanfare. Tobias takes care of his family. He calls his wife 'Leen, tells his coworkers about her, preens when Smith's wife compliments her garden. He brags about his son, real smart—he takes after his mum, then, eh, Toby?—and good enough with a ball��your lad's quick, I'll give 'im that, at least. Eileen's glad for it, because now, the twinge in her chest is all but unnoticeable.

Severus does take after her, she notices. Spends more time in his books than anywhere else, although it's never really a fight to get him running off to the park to get dragged into a game of footy. He's good with his hands, too. He helps her out in the garden, tends to the plants almost as well as she does, even if he isn't truly aware of what some of them are.

When he turns eleven, there is no letter. Instead, there is laughter when his father traipses back into the house, just in time for a late breakfast. "Your brat's nagging me again, 'Leen," Tobias teases.

"Mine, Toby?" she chuckles at him. "I'm not the one who has him after me like a duckling."

"I wouldn't have to if you'd get him out of his books an' that garden of yours."

She hums, noncommittal. "Hm, well. And where, exactly, is this brat of ours?"

"I didn't tell you? He made a friend. They'll be 'round soon enough."

"Oh?"

"There's hope for him yet."

"Does this friend have a name?"

"Something... flowery? Her and the sister. Rosie, Daisy..." Tobias trails off, his thinking interrupted by the sound of the door slamming, followed by lively chatter.

"Good morning to you, too," Eileen greets, as the pair of muddied children walk into the kitchen. "Who's this?"

"Oh—" Severus starts.

"Hi!" The girl smiles, and Eileen takes a minute to look at her, all bright green eyes and leaves in her hair. "I'm Lily."