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bunny584 · 3 months

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OBSESSED: ITADORI

A/N: Quarterback Itadori with #20 on his jersey realizes he has a little (big) problem with a certain cheerleader turned Chem tutor (who also happens to be just a little bit older 🤭). Anon this one is for you! I hope you enjoy 💋

S/N: I’ve never giggled so much writing a piece. This one was so funny to me.

C/W: Aged up characters (19+), college AU, Mature, 18+

“ITADORI!”

Oh for fucks sake.

Yuji can’t drag away from the pyramid of cheerleaders right of center field.

“Coach?”

“IF YOU WANT TO WEAR A SKIRT AND BACKFLIP FOR THE BOYS THEN JUST SAY THAT?!”

His teammates erupt in a chorus of laughter. Coach Yaga is an ass.

Fact.

But he is also living, breathing, comedic relief.

“I would coach, but they aren’t my type!”

Yuji yells back, eyes still lasered to your back. He knows it’ll sear Yaga’s skin right off the bone.

Whatever.

What’s a few more seconds, right?

You are just so…hot.

In a mind-bending kinda way. An optical illusion. Or desert mirage.

A fresh water oasis in a destitute wasteland. Always just a few more steps away. No matter how long he’s been crawling on his knees.

His knees.

He’d kill to be on his knees for you. Diving head first into—

“SHUT THE HELL UP AND GET BACK ON THE FIELD. PINK TOP IDIOT!!”

“Yes sir!” Times up.

“Dude, she’s a smoke show.”

The team’s starting running back (#14) rests his arm on Yuji’s shoulder. Just as four bodies fling you so far against gravity it is questionable whether you’ll come down.

“She’s perfect.”

“And a junior.” #14 reminds him, tugging his helmet back over his head.

“So?”

“Okay, freshmeat. Someone’s got mommy issues.”

Yuji bursts into full belly laughter. Stealing one last glance at you before pulling his helmet on.

His teammates never fail to remind him that he’s the only freshman in Tokyo University history to make starting lineup.

Not to mention quarterback.

“#14, #20 IF YOU DONT STOP RUBBING DICKS ILL WEAR BOTH OF YOUR ASSES TO THE BONE THIS AFTERNOON.”

Yuji promptly takes position at center field. He knows better than to push his luck. Two-a-days are already brutal enough, he has no intention of making his life harder than it is.

But you do.

You are setting flames to the hoops Yuji has to jump through to get through study hall and afternoon practice.

Why else would you wear those yoga pants?

They’re a second skin, for Christ’s sake.

Might as well be body paint. Outlining every tantalizing, serpentine curve. Pretty, full hips. Plump, tight ass. The mouthwatering, puffy rose between your legs just begging to be watered. By his tongue.

Yuji’s palm digs into his crotch. Trying to force his pulsating length from tenting up into the table. Cursing himself for changing out of his compression shorts.

“Hello? Yuji?”

Your dulcet voice echoes between his ears and curls around his dick. Jerking him back down to earth.

“Y-yeah? Hi.”

Yuji forces an acknowledgement through the sharp edges of his voice box. Sitting fully erect in his seat. Scrambling to find the pencil that was supposed to be mirroring your work on the whiteboard.

Because not only are you a perfect 10 on and off the field; you are a prodigy when it comes to chemistry.

And currently in the middle of trying to diffuse some of your excess knowledge into his very deficient head.

You toss your head back. Your laughter is definitely why tales of fishermen being lost at sea exists.

Light.

Breathy.

Soprano crescendo that’s rutting against the few folds in his brain.

“Why are you so distracted today, Yu?”

“Distracted?” His voice cracks.

“Ha—no, I’m not distracted. Sorry, walk me through it again.”

But before Yuji can retreat back into his daydream, you catch him in the Venus fly trap of your gaze. Tilting your head slightly.

Yuji swallows thickly. Frozen in place. Hand pushing down on his cock with all his might. As if you could see through the table.

Did you know he was staring at your ass? Can you tell how hard he is? Is there drool on his face? Shit, there must—

“Woah, the way the sun is catching your eyes right now, Yu.”

You take a half step to the side, allowing the full beam of light to caress Yuji’s already hot face.

A shaky hand swipes along the back of his neck.

“H-huh?”

“Your eyes are so pretty. Warm. Like hot chocolate with cinnamon.”

Your full lips curl into a soft smile. And Yuji bites down a pitiful whine.

“I—thanks.” You don’t hear him. Because he whispers through a wired shut jaw.

Yuji lets his erection tent up, grazing the table. He fists his base through his athletic pants. Ears fiery hot with embarrassment. His hand glides up and down his clothed cock without his permission.

Did you know?

That you snapped his self-control in half?

And shoved him into the darkest recesses of his mind?

Where his most depraved thoughts (and the King of Curses) lives?

Because all Yuji can see is the way your ass ripples and bounces while you scribble hieroglyphics on the whiteboard.

His mind’s eye is currently picturing him fucking you dumber than he is.

Fist full of hair in one hand. Both of your wrists behind your back in another. Mesmerized by the way your plump, fleshy mounds slam against his hips.

Maybe he’ll fuck you in front of a mirror?

So he can make you repeat how pretty you think his eyes are while he brands the shape of his cock into you.

Then he’ll tell you how pretty you are. Creaming all around his length. Drool raining down from your lips in sync with his thrusts.

Maybe he’ll stick a dildo on the mirror so he can watch your mouth get stuffed while he violates your insides?

You’ll look so pretty. When he fills you up with something warm. A little thicker than ‘hot chocolate with cinnamon.’

“Yu? Are you okay?” Genuine concern knocks his lust-drunk thoughts loose.

Yuji blinks himself back to this dimension. Chest heaving. Cramps blooming from his fingertips to his biceps from grasping his sex so hard. He doesn’t need a mirror to know he’s stained blood red. From chin to hairline.

“I-uh. Sick. I’m—I feel sick. Be right back.” He takes off to the male locker room at inhuman speed.

Yuji nearly doubles over the porcelain sink, glaring at his blown out pupils. Olive skin flushed like he just finished a marathon.

He can’t believe he was just groping himself like that in public. In plain sight.

All because you complimented his eyes?!

Who the hell is he?

“Sukuna, give it a rest.”

Yuji hisses poison at his curse. Because he surely wasnt responsible for those lewd actions.

“Oh, I’ll rest you PERMANENTLY you asinine little b—“

“I’m serious. Quit it.”

Yuji darts around the empty locker room. Accidentally raising his voice.

“Quit what, brat?”

“Quit…making me think..things like that.”

Sukuna’s bellowing laughter sounds like nails on a chalkboard. Deafening between Yuji’s ears.

“That’s all you kid. I’m only 10 fingers in. Don’t have that power…yet.”

Sukuna retreats to Yuji’s subconscious. Leaving him stunned. Disbelief crashing into him like tornado winds.

Yuji has never been a pervert.

Sure, he’s had crushes. But he knows how to control his impulses.

He might be dumb like one, but he’s not an actual dog…right?

Wrong.

Yuji dives into an empty stall while his teammates file in. Study hall is complete and afternoon warm-ups are starting soon.

And his neglected, weeping sex is clamoring for attention.

Missing it’s muse — your soft, curvy frame and the ways he wants to fill you.

One hand clamps over his mouth. While the other one tugs his pants down. Thick, heavy length springing free. Sticky and slick with his precum.

His head meets the cool wall. Hips thrusting against his fist. Broken whimpers pushing through the web spaces of his fingers that are digging into his cheek. Choking himself quiet so no one hears his pathetic hormone driven state.

“Mnnhgh f—fuck.” Muffled curses slip past his hand.

His cock is red and engorged. Angry from his abuse. But his hips can’t stop rutting into his hand. Picturing abusing your pretty, swollen cunt.

A hot tear rolls along his cheek, between his fingers. Salty on his tongue.

Curtains start to shade his vision and Yuji’s hands move to cup his bulbous tip. His muscular core tenses and strings of warm, thick seed fills his hands.

The world slowly starts to piece together. His heart rattling in its cage comes to a normal pace. Choppy, incomplete breaths gradually replaced with deep, relaxed ones.

Shit.

He’s in trouble.

Because he needs to pass chemistry to play football. And he needs you to pass.

But he can’t ever look you in the eye again after this display.

After one measly compliment.

How will he act if you bend over in front of him?

Or lean over a little too far?

God forbid you touch his arms or brush against him.?

Then a lightbulb goes off.

Yuji has the perfect solution.

He scrambles to clean up. Putting on his street clothes. Ignoring the quizzical looks from his teammates. He’s going to fix his little problem.

“Coach Yaga?” Yuji is met with an open office door and his coach’s nostrils flaring. Vein along his temple pulsing.

He draws in a steadying breath.

“I can’t play football anymore coach. I quit.”

“….YOU WHAT?!?!”

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tinydeskwriter · 2 months

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Lando NorrisxWolff!reader

words: 2825

requested: no

A/n: This is going to be a multi-chapters, most of the chapters won't be social midia or something. It is going to 'follow' the 2023 F1 season. Reader is Toto's eldest child by a fictitious ex- first wife. I just watched Break Point, with is another sport Netflix docuseries from the same producing company that makes DST, and since then I have this idea of a prodigy tennis player reader.

next part»

GQ 10 things Y/n Wolff can’t live without

“Hi GQ, I am Y/n Wolff and here are my essentials.” The young woman opens her arms looking at the objects displayed on the table, before looking up and smiling to the camera.

# Sugar

“My trainer may not agree. My coaches may not agree. My performance coach may not agree. My parents definitely don’t agree.” She points out, “But I need sugar.” The young woman brings to the centre of the table a small pile of sweets, a tall cup of caffeinated drink and a can of Red Bull, “I live of sugar and… sugary things…”

“My day starts with this lovely peppermint iced mocha sweetened with vanilla sugar… a ton of vanilla sugar.” Y/n laughs taking a sip of her drink “I am weirdly obsessed with mint and chocolate combinations…” She comments looking at the camera, “I drink perhaps two or three of those per day,” The young woman then places her hand over the top of the Red Bull can, most people who follow her already know that she is an athlete sponsored by Red Bull, “sugar-free Red Bull, which ironically is sweeter than the regular one.” She puts her hand on the pile of chocolates, “Milk-chocolate, I am not going to lie and say that I eat the healthy stuff, I don’t, I have the taste buds of a child,” the tennis player smiles mischievously at the camera, “right now I am really into this Finnish chocolate, Geisha and the blue Fazer, daddy always keep those in his offices for me.” She wrinkles her nose a little, giving the camera a lovely—childish—smile.

“Aero Mint bar, Chocolate Orange, Maltesers, Bounty, Kinder, truffles…I'm honestly starting to wonder how we managed to get through customs.” She laughs looking at her entourage behind the cameras. “This is like… a fraction of what I usually travel with, this is more like what I have in my bag for the day.”

#Photos

Y/n played a little with a golden square object in her hand.

“I travel a lot, I am on the road from January to November playing at tournaments around the world, so I can’t always be surrounded or in touch with the people that I love,” she says in a slightly more serious tone, taking the golden case in her hands and pressing the button to open, showing pile of polaroid photos, “those are mini Polaroids, so I can bring them with me wherever I go, I keep them inside this vintage cigarette case that belonged to my maternal grandmother, she was a absolute rockstar and I miss her very much.” The camera takes a close-up on the golden case with rope motif and small colourful stones. “As I don’t smoke, I had to find another use for it.”

The first photo she shows is five adults together, smiling around a table, in what appears to be a ski resort.

“I have a very patchwork family, and somehow the adults in my life made it work…which I am very grateful for, not everyone is lucky to have so many amazing parents…so here I have my mum and my two other mothers, Stephanie and Susie, papa and my other father, Phillippe,” the second photo is her with a boy not much younger than her, two teenage girls and a small child in front of a Christmas tree, “my siblings, I have four, I am the eldest whatever way you go, huge flex,” the photo is followed by one of a pyjama party with several girls in matching pyjamas, and another of the tennis player with a blonde in front of the Eiffel Tower, “My gurls! This is my best friend, she is also my PA… so amazing to have someone I trust so much with me all the time…” a golden cocker spaniel with a crystal necklace, silk bows in its ears and a Gucci sweater appears on the screen, “this is Éclair Wolff, my emotional support dog aka my child, she actually goes with me mostly everywhere, but sometimes I leave her with my mum so she won’t be stressed by the long flights.”

She points to the next three photos, the first has the Mercedes drivers in Tommy Hilfinger, posing for the photo. “Lew and Georgie, the adopted older brothers I never asked for, but I love them.” The second photo has three other familiar faces making faces at the camera, “C2, my Ferrari boys, feat Pear, there is something wholesome about good looking men looking so silly, I love those guys and I love this picture, it is very on brand with them.” The tennis player smiles at the camera. “Sharls, Carlitos and Pear are three of the nicest guys I have ever met, it is truly a blessing be able to call them friends and having them in my life.”

McLaren driver Lando Norris, in his third or fourth season, apparently not even realizing he was having his photo taken, it's a spontaneous photo, the soft sunlight highlighting the driver's profile as he smiles.

“Because of karting, I’ve known Lando since I was a head taller than him, he was my first crush…he was so shy, so adorable, so babygirl coded.” Y/n blushed a little as she shows the photo.

“I think most of the current grid is in here…oh, look, it’s Lance! Friends from life, from tennis…” She quickly changes showing another photo. “I think I easily have about sixty photos here..."

#Camera

“I don’t have a specific camera I like more than the others, but as a rule, I prefer vintage cameras just for the beauty of the final result, I inherited a few, I bought a few, I usually develop the photos when I'm at home for longer periods of time, edit the videos, digitalize a few…” She points to the cameras in front of her, a Bolex, a Digital Bolex, a very iconic Rolleiflex and a Super 8, “It is a very nostalgic experience to just go through a year worth of memories…” She says resting her face in her hand, “I have a hundred boxes with pictures and film rolls.”

“I love going through old pictures with my mom and Cass, my younger sister, from when we were babies, my parents in the 90’s, my mom when she was young, the wonderful life my grandparents lived, and is such a lovely moment to share with my mom.” Y/n has a soft smile on her lips. “One day, when I have my own kids, I want to have those moments with them, and not just scrolling through a phone or an iPad.”

#Journals

“I keep journals since I was a child, I get a new one every year,” She holds up the leather hardcover notebook, a deep indigo blue, a little worn around the edges, “after I turned thirteen years old, I started to get it in this specific shade of blue, with my initials in gold,” The girl opens the journal, leafing through it briefly, “I am never going to write an auto-biography, it’s kind of a little bit too egocentric to my taste,” She knocks it closed, but keeps it up, looking at the camera as she speaks , “but if someone ever write about me, fifty years from now… the facts will be straight, at least from my point of view… but even if no one ever writes about me… when I am old and grey and memory starts to fail me, I will be able to come back to the thoughts of twenty years old me…”

There is a moment of silence.

“That was kind of dark.” Y/n laughs to break the tension.

#Art Supplies

“I love to draw and paint, it eases the anxieties of life,” The tennis player shows the large sketchbook, a small aluminium case with the watercolours, and the rolling leather case with pencils and brushes, “I always bring a watercolour travel kit with my sketchbook wherever I go.”

She displays for the internet some of the landscapes she painted during her travels around the world.

#Hoodies

“I like to be comfortable after a match,” she spreads her arms across the perfectly folded hoodies on the table, “and nothing is more comfortable than a hoodie, feels a little bit like home.”

“I have my collection of hoodies with Adidas, they always provide me with new cool colours to try out and see if I want to add to the next collection,” Y/n opens sage green hoodie, running her hand over her initials and the Adidas logo. “Enchanté by Dani Ric, I have a bunch of those, Daniel is always kind enough to drop them at my house in Monaco, VIP treatment baby.” She points to the white hoodie. “Quadrant hoodies, Lando’s merch, ridiculously comfy, I would really like them in pastel colours or dusty rose… just putting out to the universe…” Y/n smiles and winks at the camera. “Valtteri, MV1… those all came with me for the US Open.”

#Skincare

“This is part of my daily routine.” The girl opens the toiletry bag, taking out the products inside, “I am always in different countries and different hotel rooms, so is nice to have this little sense of routine.”

She lines the pearlescent bottles with opaque round lids on top of the table.

“I launched Muse when I was seventeen years old, it is my skincare brand, and it is very me. I wanted it to be un-complicated and complete,” The young woman explains passionately looking at the camera, “skin is the body’s largest organ, and it is not only your face.” It affects the hair on your face, tucking it behind your ear before going back to the product bottles. “The line goes from body wash to suncream to night-time routine.”

#Travel Pillow

“If I mess up my neck and shoulder, I am f***ed, my match is over and possibly the tournament.” She holds up a medium-sized pillow to the camera, the pillowcase light pink silk with red buttonholes around the edges and her initials in the corner. “So, this baby goes with me everywhere, it is a memory foam pillow with a silk pillowcase. Best sleep, best hair.”

#Sport Gear

“I generalized here, sport gear, I travel heavy, always,” she points to the array of equipment on the table, “this is my racket, I go to each tournament with around ten of those, just in case I wreak one on the ground,” Y/n passes her hand over the racket, “those are custom Yonex Ezone 98, they made it in Mountbatten pink with some cool pattern and my initials,” she smiles as she pulls the helmet close to her chest, “my helmet, also custom Mountbatten pink, with my initials in rose, I love to try new karting tracks, most people don’t know I used to race karts when I was younger, won a couple of trophies, went as far as F3 before I choose to go pro with tennis, car racing is a huge thing in my family…my dad used to race, my stepmom was a driver, my little brother probably going to be a F1 driver,” she recounts with a smile, “I joked once with my dad that we are at a window that if I have a kid in the next year or two, in twenty years we can have a Wolff’s drivers line-up for Mercedes.” The young woman smirks to the camera. “My dad almost passed out, and now I am not allowed to date until I am thirty.”

#Headphones

“Those are custom made for me, again, they are Mountbatten pink and rose with my logo, super comfortable on the ears, I usually have problems with headphones due to the piercings and earrings, but these didn't give me any problems, they fit well, and I can spend the whole day wearing them." She takes the gadget out of the case, showing the details. “It's not wireless, because I always forget to charge it, so it has a wire, they made this lovely, thick cord that is durable and super resistant,” Y/n wraps the rope around her fingers, “it is noise cancelling and it is always with me before every match as an essential part of my pre-match rituals.”

“The right music kind of puts you in the right mood, I usually go with Eminem in 80% of my matches, I feel like it unleashes my inner fighter, these are matches where I'm not really worried about my opponent, it is just raw and a little bit thoughtless, I just play,” she comments, “when I know that my opponent is going to be hard on the mind games, which is not an uncommon move in tennis, I tend to listen to calmer and more melancholic music, piano, it keeps me in a more peaceful zone, I don’t get pumped up and full of adrenaline, my game tends to be far more calculated…”

“That’s it. Those were my ten essentials,” the young woman smiles, “thank you, GQ, for allowing me to share my essentials, much appreciated, and thank you guys for taking the time to watch it! Much love and see you next time!” The athlete says, blowing a kiss and winking to the camera as the credits shows up.

__________________________________________

2,109,963 views Aug 29, 2022

978 Comments

userone

i was todays yrs old when i found out that tennis superstar Y/n Wolff is the eldest child of THE Toto Wolff

user1

From what little she talks about her dad here, u just get the vibes that Merce boss Toto is a softie girl dad, he keeps her favourite candy in his offices and forbids her to date until she’s thirty, this is so sweet

haterone

a billionaire’s nepo baby, talking about her millionaire friends and her unrelatable lifestyle and things

usertwo

Y/n’s hair is probably the healthiest hair i ever seen i need her hair routine

userthree

I am so obsessed with her career! I want to see her continue to succeed and be one of the biggest tennis players of all times. She deserves it. Such a talented, humble kid.

userfour

i loved hearing her talk about her family and friends!!! it is so crazy that she is close friends with a bunch of F1 drivers.

hatertwo

Not so crazy since she’s literally a f1 nepo baby, her daddy is part owner of Mercedes.

userfive

She's like that one super popular chick in school who's actually a total sweetheart.

usersix

I totally relate to her being a sweet tooth

@userseven

I love that she was not talking to the camera. She was actually talking to the people there behind the scenes

usereight

i love how a lot of these items are usually a stereotype of being pretentious—a vintage cartier cigarette case, a film camera, a leather bound custom hermes journal, art supplies--but she talks about all of them with such genuine interest and attachment that it doesnt seem pretentious at all

usereighteen

U r the one name dropping the brands she uses…

usernine

Her nicknames for Charles Leclerc, Carlos Sainz Jr and Pierre Gasly… I died dead…

user9

The fact that she’s gushing about lando and being so sweet about her childhood crush on him oml

user10

Omg it is so cuuute!!! Like, she had a crush on little Lando and not McLaren glow up Lando Norris

user11

I used to be so conflicted shipping her with the drivers, because she dates that tennis player, but her insta has a bunch of her and Charles and her and Pierre and her and Lance and it is so cute and kind of gives such soft vibes, those boys look half in love with her in most pictures, also ...the chemistry. but seeing the way she talks about Lando… they r my new diehard ship…

userten

Are we going to ignore that she confessed that Lando Norizz was her first crush???

user1

They would be so cute together… and they ate both single now… at the same time… we can dream…

user12

i went ten steps further and in my head, they are already getting married and having cute future Mercedes world drivers’ champions…

user13

Can we already dream of Lando at Mercedes???

usereleven

Ok… but didn’t Lando once commented like, very briefly, in a McLaren video, that he used to have a crush on a girl that used to go karting with him??? The girl who wore red ribbons in her hair… do you guys know who uses red ribbons in heir hair since she was an actual baby?? Y/n! There is a pic in her insta of her in a karting track with her dad, and she has red bows in her hair…

user11

Not gonna lie… It would be kinda of cute if they actually had a mutual childhood crush and then eventually end up together as adults…

next part»

#f1 imagine #lando norris imagine #lando x reader #f1 grid x reader #wolff!reader #lando norris #charles leclerc x reader #pierre gasly x reader #carlos sainz x reader #lance stroll x reader #toto wolff x reader

790 notes · View notes

onmyyan · 1 year

Text

Ashley Hunt NSFW HC'S

A/N: TW'S YANDERE. SMUT, BREEDING KING, ORAL F RECEIVING, F READER, FINGERING, ROPE PLAY, SEMI-PUBLIC PLAY, POSSESSIVE SEX, JEALOUSY SEX, DIRTY TALK, PRAISE KINK

Man's is a service top through and through, he will have you cumming more than once it's just how he rolls.

Likes to tie you up but only with the softest, most expensive rope he can find, his touch is feather-like and leaves a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

This mf not only talks you through it, he coaches you.

"There we go, atta girl."

"Keep clenching that perfect pussy around my fingers sugar, make a mess f'me."

Cowgirl is one of his favorite positions cuz he gets to watch you fall apart on top of him.

He's a boob man, no matter the size, he worships your chest and loves leaving hickeys on them, sucking each nipple hard enough to have you mewling against him, your back arching into his touch.

He love, love, loves when you give him head but 10 times outta 10 he's pulling out before he cums, a choppy, stuttery chuckle leaves him, "Shit Darlin' that mouth of yer's is sinful." as good as you feel, he just has to pull out cuz he feels like with how good your pussy is, the only rightful place for his cum is as deep inside you as he can get it.

Breeding kink up the wazoo, the first time he came inside you he knew nothing else would ever compare.

Grunts and pants of your name, his voice hoarse and desperate for you, whispering praises in your ears, his lips on every inch of skin he can reach while he's pounding into your sweet cunt. The closer he gets to his end, he almost starts to whimper.

His body is strong, years of hard work on the farm have left him sculpted by the Gods and he uses this strength to manhandle you every which way, never hurting you, no he completely dominates you, covers you, he wants you to know exactly who's in charge.

"Use that pretty mouth and tell me what you want." His bedroom voice is enough to get your thighs trembling, there's this no-nonsense aura to it, his grin almost looking wicked as he stared down at you.

Please leave scratches down his back, he goes feral for them at the moment, his hips picking up their intense pace, and if someone happens to see/comment on said scratches the next day, he's as red as his tractor, his ears hot and he has to laugh, fanning himself with his hat as his mind is flooded with images of you.

Speaking of the hat, Ash likes to put his hat on your head when you ride him, his toned and strong hips buck into you with enough force to knock you off, but his rough, hot, big hands grip your hips hard enough to leave bruises, yanking you back into his thrusts with a devious little grin on his face, his canines bared as he growls against your heated skin.

"There we go, that's my good girl, you can do it, Mama."

Big into praise and worship, the most degrading you'll get is if someone manages to make him jealous enough to drop what he's doing, grab you by your arm, and fuck you against whatever surface is closest.

He doesn't even bother taking his pants off all the way, just unzips his jeans and whips out his 8.5-inch cock, already hard for you as he hisses, bucking the mushroom-shaped tip red up against your panty-covered core, he bunches your skirt around your hips, nearly twitching as he rubs the weeping head against the slowly growing wet spot on your clothed pussy.

He'd rip your underwear off with one hand, barely putting in any effort, his blue eyes intense as he glared down at you.

"Son'ova bitch thinks he can just oggle you like that? Bastard has no idea who he's screwing with, you know who you belong to, don't you pretty?"

He doesn't give you the chance to respond, all you can do is hold on for dear life as he teases your clit over and over, the intensity of his actions paired with the aggressive kisses and sucks he was leaving on your jaw and throat made it easy for you to grow wet, your thighs clenching together as he sucked your earlobe between his flushed lips, "I want to hear ya' baby, want everyone out there to hear you fall apart f'me."

Sucks two of his thick fingers in his mouth, soaking them in his spit before toying with your dripping center, his grin is almost malicious as he circles your clit, the bundle of nerves pulsing under his rough touch.

Your twitching pussy drips into his palm as he slips both fingers inside of you, he curls them upward fast enough to make the plush flesh of your thighs jiggle, his pace only increasing when he hears the airy moans slipping past your lips.

He's panting like one of his bulls when they're in a rut, his hard cock pressing against your exposed tummy as he makes you cum hard and fast around his fingers, your gummy walls sucking him deeper as he worked you through your first orgasm.

Before you can catch your breath he's sliding the thick, dripping head of his cock past your twitching hole, grunting as the fat tip slips through the creamy ring. He wastes no time, his hips set a bruising pace, fucking up into you with enough force to have the paintings on the wall jumping, each thrust into your gushing core threatening to send the frames crashing to the floor.

He has your thighs wrapped around his waist, his jeans becoming slightly soaked from how wet and sloppy your pussy was, you could feel him knock the wind from you with each pass of his hips, the way he'd grind his thick cock into you, how the rhythm grew messier and more feral.

"That's right pretty, make those noises for me, tell me whose sweet cunt this is." He said, his grin almost sadistic as he fucks his frustrations out on you.

Type of guy to make you squirt once and try to do it every time after.

Possessive, you can feel it in the way he fucks you, how he loves you, the way he buries himself so completely inside of you.

Type to dress you up in white, almost bridal-looking lace lingerie, just to see you ruined in it, to see your sweet face all fucked out and the once pristine lace covered in your shared sweat and cum.

Speaking of, he cums so much it leaves a puddle below whatever surface he has you against. Long thick ropes, it always makes you tremble when you feel his hot load spill inside you.

His pubic hair is kept trimmed, and his happy trail crawls deliciously up his navel.

He's uncut, his head is particularly sensitive, loves tapping it against your clit.

Loves eating you out, please please sit on his face, all your weight, no holding back just ride his tongue and you'll make him the happiest man alive, he adores how you taste, addicted to the way you cream around his fingers and tongue, the sweet whimpers and moans of his name only encourage him, more often than not you have to tug him away from you by his thick blonde hair.

"C'mon Darlin' don't run from me now." He likes to tease, whispering the words against your thighs as he nips and sucks the flesh, waiting for you to catch your breath so he can taste you again.

Has taken you outside on the farm before, but never when there's a chance someone would see you, he's far too possessive to allow that to happen, people can hear you two all they want, but that god-like sight of you gasping for air as you reached your peak was for his eyes only.

he already thinks of you as his wife, and sometimes, when he's really lost in the heavenly feeling of you gripping him for everything he's got, he slips up, mumbling frenzied fantasies against your mouth.

"My perfect fuckin' wife, gonna make you a mama' gonna stuff you full baby girl."

Likes to fall asleep cockwarming you, one, because the way your over-sensitive body twitches and pulses around his still throbbing cock was addicting, and two, it almost always ended with him waking up inside you, his hips would begin their firm but gentle thrusts, a fresh wave of arousal exploding in his tummy.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere oc x reader #Ashley Hunt #Ashley x reader #My oc #yandere hcs

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screeching-bunny · 1 year

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Yandere! Jock Hcs

Warnings: Obsessive Behavior, Yandere Thoughts, Bad Writing, Stalking, Possessive Behavior, Reader is Referred as ‘You’

🌟 Yandere! Jock who unlike most stereotypes is really kind and hates bullies with a passion.

🌟 Yandere! Jock is the definition of a himbo. He’s 6’5 and extremely jacked.

🌟 Yandere! Jock has three brain cells and he spends them all on loving you.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who first meets you in elementary school where you steal his juice box. Back then, he notices how cute you are and makes sure to bring a juice box everyday just for you!

🌟 Yandere! Jock has been slowly becoming more and more obsessed with you. He wants to monopolize your attention and have you all to himself.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who refuses to play in any of his games unless you give him a kiss for good luck. Who can blame him though he just does so much better with them.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who kisses you and carries you after ever game he wins.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who frequently gets yelled at by the coach for looking at you during practice. Honestly who would have been kicked off by now if he wasn’t their star player.

🌟 Yandere! Jock is 100% the type of person to shoot a basketball and say “This one’s for you” and then completely miss.

🌟 Yandere! Jock gets jealous of both guys and girls around you. What someone tries to steal you away when you're not with him?

🌟 Yandere! Jock always has to touch you in some way shape or form. Whether it be an arm around the shoulder or the waist he has to be touching you. Man’s love language is physical touch.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who once took an IQ test with his dog and it was revealed that his dog was smarter than him. His friend suspect that he was dropped on the head as a baby because there is just no way—

🌟 Yandere! Jock who has a section in his room just for you whenever you come over to his house. Wherever he is he always makes sure to have a space for you.

🌟 Yandere! Jock values your opinion more than anything and if you state that you don’t like something then he’s getting rid of it without question. Besides his yandere tendencies, those are staying no matter what.

🌟 Yandere! Jock stalks you everytime he gets the chance to. He enjoys watching you go about life and do your thing.

⭐️ Yandere! Jock who reads your diary every time you invite him over. It his weekly ritual to read your diary he looks forward to it all week.

🌟 Yandere! Jock is willing to cancel all his plans and ditch his friends if you ever text him saying you want to hang out. You take top priority in his heart.

🌟 Yandere! Jock radiates golden retriever energy and kind of looks like one when he smiles

🌟 Yandere! Jock is the biggest simp you’ll ever meet in your life. Worships and kisses the ground that you walk on.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who always partners up with you when there are group projects. Can’t have anyone else taking his baby’s time.

🌟 Yandere! Jock is really dumb but knows how to fight. Ever since the age of 10 he’s been able to box and is good at it. Can easily throw anyone to the ground and knock them out.

🌟 Yandere! Jock only started boxing because you once commented that a boxer on T.V was hot.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who never has to worry about anyone approaching you while he’s around because of ‘scary dog privileges’

🌟 Yandere! Jock is a softy at heart but is willing to smack a bitch when he needs to.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who doesn’t understand the meaning of personal space. No seriously, do you know what it means because he has an English test next period and could really use your help.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who only got into college because of a scholarship. There is absolutely no way that he is getting into college the normal way with his IQ.

🌟 Yandere! Jock loves eating out with you. He makes sure to make it a weekly thing and he pays for everything. Food and you, what could be better than that? Absolutely nothing.

🌟 Yandere! Jock loves everything about you. To him you have absolutely no flaws and just perfect.

🌟 Yandere! Jock hates misogynistic comments and likes it when you wear the clothes that you like. If anyone says otherwise he’s taking that on a personal level and fighting.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who feels his heart explode whenever you wear his varsity jacket. You look so good with it on.

🌟 Yandere! Jock does not think of his actions when doing them. He likes living life on the edge like that I guess.

🌟 Yandere! Jock is the type to flip a coin to make a decision for him. The amount of times you will hear a coin flip during a test is just unbearable.

🌟 Yandere! Jock who comforts you when your friends start to be strangely distant from you. Oh Well at least you’ll always have him by your side.

Pt.2

#yandere x you #yandere x y/n #yandere jock #yandere scenarios #yandere headcanons #yandere imagines #yandere #male yandere #yandere x darling #yandere x reader #yandere oc #gn reader

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sakuraryomen01 · 1 year

Text

I'm horny so I'm writing about my thoughts.

warnings: nsfw, fem reader, mdni, blowjobs, sex in different positions, some size kinks, nipple play, possible breeding, man handling if u squint

words: idk I didn't count but it's a lot

ft:: yuji, kuroo, bokuto, and sukuna

Yuji Itadori🐅

He's been brain rotting for a while and it's annoying how much I think about him, but I love him too much to make him move out.

I love thinking about how heavy his cock must get when he's hard, and ready to come. It'd probably tilt with a thick vein pulsing along the underside so it makes him × 10 more sensitive when you suck him off. He's probably not super long like kuroo would be, but he'd definitely be on the thicker side.

I wouldn't be surprised if he turned out to be ashamed about being average, but I'm drooling over that stretch baby boy dw 🤤💞

He'd definitely taste.. interesting. I don't see him tasting super sweet like gojo or something, I see him tasting like a savory meal if that makes any sense?

Something like a meal you'd never want to forget or finish early. If yk what I mean, ty. 🙏

He'd definitely try and be gentle during sex and hand/blowjobs. Yuji knows he's a strong boy so being careful of his grip and thrusts is something he has anxiety about often. When he's close though, he'll be in cloud nine and forget what he's doing.

Bucking his hips while his thighs tense and practically vibrate as his climax nears. Praising him is such a great way to tell him "I'm okay" even though his cum's covering your face and lips.

Different positions he loves: doggy, reverse cowgirl, and missionary

While Yuji does think that your sex life needs lots of spice, he's really willing to do whatever it takes to make you cum! He loves the simple things, but watching you masturbate in front of him gets him drooling and hard.

Kuroo Tetsuro🐈‍⬛

He definitely makes me want to scream daddy at the top of my lungs but then want to cuddle him and kiss his forehead for hours while reading my favorite book or watching a horror movie.

Daddy? I'm sorry. Daddy? I'm sorry.

I get the vibe from kuroo that he lives to eat pussy to relieve his own stress.

Work getting too much? Eat pussy. Staying up too late fucking? Eat pussy + the cream pie. He'd like a girl that'd know how to edge and tease him, even though he'd flat out deny this.

He'd feel hot and heavy over constant teasing remarks or suggestive compliments. Offering a massage during a game would also make him want to kiss you and cuddle you for hours.

Kuroo loves spice.

He'll bring in some kind of toy like a vibrator or ask to fuck on the couch instead of in the bedroom.

(I wouldn't doubt he'd try role-playing.)

Kuroo's just above average with a slimmer cock, but it's big no matter how you put it. He's probably not a sweets guy, but I'd end up making him something like strawberries to make him taste like candy.

Kuroo himself probably tastes like bokuto and yuji since all of them are incredibly athletic and active in their daily lives. He's not ashamed of himself either and probably grooms regularly to keep it "presentable."

Positions and places he adores: the hook, standing doggy, anything that involves a counter

He'd probably try doing role plays that involve his job or his past. Like, volleyball coach fucks captain or something. He's a wildcard tho so I can't say for sure 😃

Bokuto Kōtaru🦉

A owl man that's energy is so contagious and sexy I'd like to eat his ass like a fucking meal— he's the obsession, he's the moment, he's a himbo sweetheart.

Bokuto doesn't hate his ass or his massive man tits, but he doesn't like that they steal the show. We all know that his ass was stolen from a bakery and that those thighs are illegal.

This might, or might not, be an unpopular opinion BUT I would eat his ass any day. I love this man's body sm it's like a plus with his sweet and energetic personality.

He'd be so touchie when it comes to sex, and he probably has a cute nickname for it tbh. He knows that his thighs are a weakness so he'll use them to slick up your pussy and panties while he's busy playing with ur tits and neck.

"feel good baby? Like my tongue?"

Verbal, loud, fast, and rough.

Bokutos strength shines through when the bed's creaking, your ass is jiggling beautifully on his pelvis, and your screams are nothing short of gorgeous. Bokuto loves to use your tits and hips as his personal love handles.

Massive calloused palms that are rough to the touch but feel amazing rubbing and flicking at your nipples.

His moans r loud but so hot. He'll also chuckle in a low tone if you cum more than once around his cock in the first round. (I would, I have.)

Positions? Yes: doggy, missionary, against the wall, in his lap, mating press

His cock is a proud 8 with a thickness that makes u think he stole a muffin or two to feed it. Damn does that stretch hurt but it sounds really good in your pussy!!!

Sukuna Ryomen😈

A devil in life, a devil in the sheets. He'll break your back and break you in one sitting but torture you with his many tongues. It's funny to think about Sukuna being disappointed when he first reincarnates since he doesn't have those swoll coc—

Sukuna is so wild during sex it's like a ride of its own. I'm basing this more on how he is in the manga and anime rather than a romantic version. So, let's begin shall we? ^^

Lord Ryomen does love a little challenge even though it thoroughly annoys him. Having a woman that's fully submissive for him and only him but will get on his nerves regularly makes him want to make sure you know your place over and over.

What better way than to fuck you with his monster cock(s)?

The Vessel version of him is definitely rougher than the true form. True form is bigger, but has a little patience in my opinion. Vessel version has none and since he only has one, he'll make another just to punish you.

My own personal favorite part of Sukuna isn't the tattoos, surprise surprise! I love them fucking biceps and that face. Both true form and vessel.

Tracing my fingers along them as a past time yes, but I'll be holding onto those arms for dear life while burning his face into my brain. Seeing how his eyes will shine while forcing my pussy to accommodate him.

Positions or mild suggestions?: Anything that allows him to fuck your pussy(and asshole let's be honest), does enjoy a show so maybe cowgirl, cuddle fucking when he's lazy or tired

His cock(s) have a powerful taste seeing as he's a cursed spirit rather than a normal human. I doubt he'll taste any better than what it normally tastes like, but I'd still suck it like my life depends on it 😭

Sukuna doesn't have an official size in his vessel for seeing as he can just change it to what he wants. But in true form, he is definitely over 8 inches and thicker than anything.

Take a Coke 2 liter bottle and imagine Sukuna's cocks. That's probably about accurate.

Loved writing for my favorite boys, and I honestly loved imagining them. I'm tagging some ppl I think would enjoy this, but if you want to be removed for any reason pls lmk!!❤️

Tags: @yuujispinkhair, @xxnghtclls

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absolutebl · 6 months

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This Week in BL - I Gave a 10/10 to a BL... me!

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top.

Nov 2023 Wk 3

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) ep 4 of 8 - I love this show. I adore Tew's the simple backstory. No frills. No fuss. He got dragged in the way many do and he can kill so they kept him. They aren’t trying to make it needlessly complicated (which is rare for Thailand). That said, the pacing is way tf off, the emotional arc is rushed and then sappy out of absolutely nowhere. Before you ask, the kiss is not at issue, we halfway through they should be kissing, but the romantic life changes - too soon. But I don’t care. Finally, they left us this ep reminded of 2 v important things,

this pair kisses beautifully

in BL all mafia be gay

Fun fun!

Last Twilight (Fri YT) ep 2 of 12 - It's official, I love this. It’s a classic caregiver/bodyguard trope where one of them is opening the other one up to the world, but sweetly. I’m enjoying the softness of JimmySea's take and I hope GMM TV takes its cues from the success of My School President and doesn’t push this particular show into rough or edgy territory. Stay on target GMMTV. Don't mess with my bias again!

Twins the series (Fri GaGa) ep 3 of 10 - Finally, our adorable side couple has emerged! This show remains engaging without losing pace (despite the main couple being slow burn), which is all I want from a Thai pulp, and more I could ask for currently from a sports BL.

(Note: when I dictate the computer always puts "Thai pope" instead of Thai pulp - this is hilarious to me.)

Pit Babe (Fri iQIYI) ep 1 of 14 - I guess they didn’t strip the omegaverse out of this. Unfortunately, I’m not an omegaverse fan, so I find its presence extremely off putting. (But it’s kind of amazing that somebody finally put one on our screen.) Unsurprisingly, it’s a lot of alpha posturing and hyper masculinity, because that’s what this kind of worldbuilding is an excuse for (lazy writing and lazier characterization). This means I don’t like Babe AT ALL except that he’s smell orientated and a bit verse. Way is lovely tho, because Nut is a great soft screen presence amongst the testosterone haze.

Middleman’s Love (Fri YT & iQIYI ep 2 of 8 - I’m not gonna lie (when have I ever bothered to lie to you all?) I’m struggling with this show. The sound effects are getting worse. That is not allowed. Still I found this installment slightly more bearable than the last last, probably because there was more of the cast in play and less of Jade being too cringe to live.

Absolute Zero (Weds iQIYI) ep 8 of 12 - AKA temporal paradox of pain.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Friends Forever ep 13 of 24 - Ooo it’s a bit of a teacher/student (coach/player) thing. Linguistic negotiation and kinkification of phi. Also actually kinky. But not consensually. Gonna get dark. Bummer.

Playboyy (Thurs Gaga) 1 of 14(!) eps - Whines. Must I? Gaga doesn’t have a skip ahead button. Sad sack main characters really do not work for me. But this was better than I expected. I wasn’t expecting much.

Look: This is helmed by Cheewin (shudder) with screenplay by Den (Only Friends - shudder the second) under Copy A Bangkok (they deserve not my shuddders). It's gonna be a shizz show people. It's Thai dark War of Y style - my least favorites. Apparently, there is meant to be a "plot" but when has Cheewin ever bothered with plot?

On a completely different note does the blond look like that Korean actor/idol from At a Distance Spring is Green & Wanna One to anyone else? Or is it just me? (Park Ji Hoon)

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

A Breeze of Love (Korea iQIYI) eps 3-4 of 8 - I like it a lot. Dongwook is so obtuse and socially awkward and reserved and needy and Dohyun is so gay over and simultaneously wildly confused by this behavior. Fantastic. A bit stiff, even for Korea, btu I'm okay with it since everything else I'm watching right now is decidedly NOT stiff.

I finished it!

Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru AKA Aki wa Haru to Gohan wo - Japan BL movie 1.5 hr

Best friends life together during university - cheerful sunshine loves to cook, grumpy tsundere loves to eat. Aki is a bit manic pixie dream boy for me (not my favorite archetype) but they’re cute and it’s one of those Japanese slice of life pieces like Our Dining Table that isn’t really a romance in fact it’s barely a drama. This isn’t friends to lovers because they’re basically already in a relationship (which everyone around them knows) they just aren’t fucking. I did spend a lot of time worrying that they weren’t eating any green things whatsoever. In the end this isn’t my thing when there’s no kissing at all, and this was a bit too dull even for JBL. Sorry Japan, one cannot trade on cute and cheese alone. I know, you want to. But that's not a BL or a personality. 6/10

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan, maybe coming to Netflix) 8 eps - This classic friends-to-lovers BL is everything Japan does best. Angsty. Emo. Aching. Driven by real thirst. Yamato is deeply in love with his childhood bestie, Kakeru, and has been for ages, unable to hide his ungainly damaging high school need. He wants Kakeru in every way possible and it oozes off of the screen. Kakeru is silly and a little simple, but not frenetic or overly camp about it. He is earnest, and genuinely wants to keep Yamato in his life which means giving a romance (and gayness) a fair chance. We watch him realize his affection and what form it can take in a truly authentic way. This show was impossibly kind to both of its lead characters and I felt honored that I got to watch something so lovely and rare play out on my screen.

I LOVE LOVE LOVED THIS. IT'S SO GOOD.

10/10

Let me be perfectly clear: I have watched 646 BLs and only handed out nine 10/10s.

I talk more about why this one made the cut, here.

It's Airing But...

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) 6 eps - adaptation of Harada’s manga (which I did not like) about a clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 14 eps - I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all) even one featuring Singto and Fluke. I'm holding off on this one and if told it's good I'll binge later.

Beyond The Star (Weds iQIYI) 8 eps - House of Stars meets Boyband. I was NOT impressed. Waiting to be told if I should bother.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) 10 eps - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

Next Week Looks Like This

STARTING

11/20 Bake Me Please (Mon Gaga) ep 1 of 6 - trailer here, stars Ohm (of OhmFluke) opposite Guide (bestie from IFYLITA). This looks like an actually gay version of Antique Bakery (play it again, BL). I'm intrigued, it looks HELLA pretty.

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Weds ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk. Adapted from y-novel of the same name, directed by Tu (180 Degree) stars Jet (Why You… Y Me?). When you want your old love again, but fate sends you a reaper instead. All he can do for you is kill people. I'll likely give this a pass and wait to binge if safe.

11/24 VIP Only (Taiwan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - Screenplay by Lin Pei Yu (WBL) about a chef who courts a shy writer with spicy beef noodles.

11/25 The Sign (Sat ????) ep 1 of 10 - trailer here, horror-esk, but with a suspense and adult characters. Special investigators who loved each other in previous lives reunite in new bodies. Stars Billy Patchanon (BillySeng) & Babe Tanatat (new). Includes other SCOY favorites as a special investigation team. I may give this a try (depending on distribution) because I'm into the non-horror bits.

11/26 The Whisperer (Sun ????) 1 of 10 - trailer here. Thai horror BL that ALSO involves cheating (what joy is mine). He has dimples (My Ride) but I don't think even that gives me the will. You can tell me how this goes.

11/26 Cooking Crush (Sun YT) 1 of 12 - OffGun are back, trailer here. Adapted from the novel “Love Course! เสื้อกาวน์รุกเสื้อกุ๊กรับ” by iJune4S this is about Prem who runs a not-so-popular restaurant with 2 friends. About to go on a cooking competition with a huge reward, Prem gets involved with Ten, a stressed-out med student who wants Prem to teach him to cook.

Still Coming November BL

11/30 For Him (Thurs ????) ep 1 of 10 - high heat trailer, I suspect iQIYI will scoop this one up. From the people who brought us Unforgotten Night (please no) based on a y-novel, man nursing a heartbreak has a one-night stand, but the other boy didn't want it to end. It looks terribly trashy so I'm in! Maybe I'll do a trash watch?

Nov 2023 line up with screen caps here. Not kept updated.

Original 2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

To be fair this was last week but I did get the screen shot until now. (You are Mine)

I Cannot Reach You serving all Japan's favorite tropes plus some very un-Japan decent kisses.

(Last week)

#this week in bl #bl updates #bl review #I Cannot Reach You #Japanese BL #You Are Mine #Taiwanese BL #Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru #Let's Eat Together Aki and Haru review #2023 bl #upcoming bl #My Dear Gangster Oppa #Thai Bl #Last Twilight #GMMTV #Twins the series #Pit Babe #Playboyy #A Breeze of Love

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daydreamgoddess14 · 10 months

Text

Hot Water

MASTERLIST

Roy Kent xF!Reader

5 Times Roy Kent ends up on your doorstep even though you know it can't keep happening.

~~~

I feel like this was dragged from me kicking and screaming. It started out just a little smutty one shot and now it's a slightly longer one. I do hope you like it, I'm not sure I do but hey ho, there's always the next one! 🙃

~~~

Well. This was really fucking inconvenient.

You’re literally laying on the bathroom floor. Underneath the fucking bath. Something, somewhere, somehow has sprung a leak and you’re resolved to fix it. You’ve even got your dad’s old toolkit out in the hope that wielding a tool might help. It hasn’t so far. It doesn’t help that you know approximately zero about plumbing. This is all just capping off a pretty fantastically awful couple of months to be honest. And although it’s a work day, and therefore your biggest problem is at the forefront of your mind, you’re going to have to forget the main reason behind your shitty time recently. Because this leak ain’t going to fix itself. You’re doing a masterful job so far - real professional. You’ve remembered to turn the stopcock off which is a big bonus. You nearly broke your hand doing it, but it’s done. You give your spanner an experimental jiggle over what looks like a loose nut, but as you do so, a spider runs over your hand. That little fucker is the catalyst for everything else. You squeal and pull your hand back, whacking first the pipe and then dropping the spanner onto your forehead. Whacking the pipe leads to the spider's little spider buddies coming out to find him, and you soon have one on its way up your arm and one in your hair. All limbs and spanner and spiders, you’re dragging yourself out from under the bath and shaking the little bastards off. Crying, of course, because what else are you meant to do when there are 3 spiders on you and you’ve just hit yourself in the face with a metal tool?

It’s already 7am, you need to be getting ready for work so there’s nothing else for it, you can shower at work. Luckily, luckily , if you head out now you should be early enough that you’d be alone there. The lads won’t be there til 9am anyway, so it’s only the staff and possibly coaches who might be there any earlier. The showers should be free. You try and give yourself a spider once over, throw on a pair of joggers and a jumper over your PJ shorts set and shove half your life in a bag. You’re only a 10 minute walk from Nelson Road so you don’t bother driving. You head straight in through the side door and shout hello to the cleaner who’s at the top of the stairs to Rebecca’s office. Passed the locker room, and into the depths between the gym and the training pitch are the showers. You put your bag on the bench and pull out a towel and some Richmond kit to wear afterwards. As one of two sports massage therapists for the team, you live in joggers and Richmond vests. Boring but functional. You’ve seen no one, heard no one, but you’re still not keen on the idea of stripping off in a men's shower room so you’re absolutely keeping the knickers on. One less area to have to cover up. You hang up the stuff you need, put away the under bath grimy stuff you’ve just taken off, and switch the shower on. Colin was not wrong about that water pressure. You’re OK. It's OK. This was the right thing to do. A scalding shower with pressure hard enough to feel like you’re being clapped on the back by The Rock sounds like bliss. While the shower heats up, you strip off (except the knickers, of course) and grab your shampoo. That little bastard spider is not leaving babies in your hair. No fucking way. As a second thought just before you get under the water spray, you switch Spotify on your phone so you can drown to the angry sounds of Olivia Rodrigo. You’re getting pretty good at the speed on Good 4 U, though sometimes scream singing it does leave you feeling like you’ve run a marathon. You’re better at the unhinged wail you can really give to ‘bloodsucker, famefucker’ on Vampire, it just hits different at the moment. The hot water hits your body and you finally relax.

~~~~~~

You wish you weren’t so outwardly affected. It was always going to go this way, you could have done more to protect your heart though - it would have saved you looking so foolish, and it would have saved a ruined friendship. That was the hardest part to deal with. You’d joined the staff under Ted Lasso and had built a great rapport with the players and the coaching staff. You considered them friends - all of them. Sure, you harboured a pretty big crush on Roy Kent, but it didn’t affect your work. You ignored those feelings, trampled over them and focused on getting on with your job. Notoriously slow to win over, he eventually became as good a friend as everyone else. The night of the West Ham game was insane. Ted was leaving, everyone was bouncing between elation over finishing second in the league and the prospects that would bring, and losing Ted. There were tears of joy and laughter one minute and tears of devastation the next. Ola’s could barely contain the emotion everyone was feeling. You’d decided to hit the road, everything was winding down anyway and the players were going on to an exclusive club which they’d invited you to as well - and you knew full well you wouldn’t have to buy a drink all night, they’d never let you do that when it was £25 for a double gin, but you didn’t want to carry the party on. You’d kissed whoever you could reach, hugged as many as you could see and air high-fived Sam from across the way. You stepped out into the late May night, it was still warm so you lingered outside with your drink while you waited for the taxi.

“Oi, how come I didn’t fucking get one?” Roy asked, stepping out to join you by the window.

“Hey, you going to the club? Get what?”

“A hug.” He nudged your shoulder.

“That’s my taxi. You always get a hug.” You slipped your arm across his back and leaned up a little to reach him better. “See you Monday.”

“You can’t go back in a taxi on your own?”

“Course I can, I always do.” You laughed, pulling open the door. He held it open while you sat in the backseat and slipped in after you.

“C’mon, I’ll make sure it gets you back ok.” You haven’t moved quite far enough along the seat so as the taxi driver rounds each corner, you're pushed further into Roy. “So everyone else gets hugs and kisses eh?”

“Only the people I could reach. Also, you just had a hug, stop complaining.” Another corner taken at a higher speed than necessary smushed you into his side. “Jesus, is this guy ready to finish or something.” He put a hand on your thigh,

“You ok?”

“Yeah fine.” The heat of his hand lit up your skin, the addition of far too many drinks made you feel flushed. You both looked at his hand on your leg and then back to each other, the streetlights illuminating you both and then sending you into darkness again. You didn’t know if it was an unconscious move or deliberate, but his thumb brushed gently in small circles on your bare skin. You’re sure he must be able to see your heart pounding through your dress. As he leans forward into you, his hand moves up just another inch and as you gasp at the sensation, he lightly kisses you.

“Here we are. That's a tenner please, love.” Roy goes for his wallet but you push his hand out of the way and hand the driver a note from your bag. He has to open the door to let you out, “you coming back in, fella?” the driver asks. He looks down at the hand which he held out to help you from the taxi to find he’s still holding it.

“No thanks, mate.” You’ve barely got the front door closed behind you before he’s pushed you up against it and kissing you with a fierceness you hadn't realised you were so desperate for. Your hands worked fast, pushing his jacket down his arms and onto the floor with a thud, and pulling him back to you by his t-shirt. The dress Keeley suggested for you is flattering, but a little more revealing than you’d usually wear. Shorter than you’d normally go for and with a low neckline too. He’s got one hand up in your hair and the other is back on your leg, halfway up the skirt while he kisses your jawline. His body presses against you and you can feel him, hard through his jeans. You bring up the leg he’s got a hand on and he hooks it over his hip, it tilts your lower body further into his and he is so close to where you need him it sends you dizzy. It's impossible to disguise the neediness of your moans and the hand that's up your skirt is moving further up to grip the fleshy soft spot between your hip and thigh.

"God, Roy -," you whine, you rock your hips towards his,

"Sure you want this?" You nod against his shoulder, "Talk to me, babe," he asks.

"Yes, yeah I'm sure," you're pulling at his t-shirt, dragging it over his head.

When he mutters "good girl," against your collarbone, you're certain you could come there and then. He traces the line of your knickers with his fingers, feeling just how ready you are for him, "fucking hell," he says, wrecked. He slips his fingers inside you and presses his thumb to your clit. He seems to know exactly what you need and just when you're at the brink, grasping for the release that's just out of reach, he kisses you. It's hot and rough and sends you right over the edge. He gives you a minute, a slightly softer kiss, but you don't need it, you only want him. Your shaking hands fumble with the button of his jeans until he takes over and does it himself, he's dug out a condom from his wallet. You're still fully clothed, still wearing the high heels that, with his help, have you at exactly the right height for him to push into you. It's everything. Everything you've fantasised about since the day you were introduced, he's the only thing that stands out from your first day at the club. In a room full of high-profile, well-paid, gorgeous footballers, he's the only one you see. He thrusts into you using your hips as leverage, the spike of your heel grazing the back of his thigh. Your hands hold fast to the back of his neck and his shoulder,

"Roy, fuck, you feel so good." Your name is reverent on his lips as he comes and on hearing, you're there too. His pace slows as his hips stutter, and your head rests in the crook of his neck while you catch your breath. All at once, he's gentle again, carefully bringing your leg back down and making sure you're steady on your feet. He looks a little sheepish as he steps back away from you, taking you hands to help you stand up away from the back of the door,

"You ok?" He asks, while you straighten your dress and pull it back down into place.

"Yep, all good. You?"

"Yeah, yeah fine." He looked like he couldn't get out of there fast enough, his hesitation and unease rubbing off on you. "I should go though,"

"Yeah, no I figured as much."

"It's just been a fucking long day, y'know?"

"I know. Lots of crazy emotions." He must have seen the look of hurt cross your face,

"Not that it was a mistake… but maybe, probably shouldn't have happened? Fuck, I'm sorry. I don't mean to be a fucking dick-,"

"I get it Roy. It was fun but it didn't mean anything." It didn't mean anything . Probably the biggest lie you've ever told and it's out of your mouth like you knew it had to be said all along.

~~~~~~~~

On Monday morning, you were all notified that Roy would be named as the new head coach for Richmond. He obviously knew beforehand, so within 36 hours you'd gone from sleeping with a colleague to sleeping with your boss, and the sudden distance and desperation to get out of your flat became clear. Along with the knowledge that it definitely could not happen again. Not that he gave the impression that he wanted it to. The following week, you took yourself on holiday for a week with some of the team and friends, just a big villa and a private beach in southern Spain. You'd relaxed, eaten your weight in fresh seafood, and consumed more sangria than you should have. All week, Instagram was full of you and your sunkissed friends having a whale of a time. You returned feeling better about yourself and ready for a few easy admin weeks before the start of the season. And then Roy had shown up at your door.

"Nice holiday?"

"Not bad… can I help you?" You're on your guard, holding the door closed against you.

"Right. Thought I should check in, see how you are?"

"As my boss, or?"

"Can I fucking come in or not?" You hold the door open but keep your arm in the way, childishly making him duck to get through. "Did the lads behave?" He asked from your kitchen.

"Oh yeah. I slept with Jan in the pool, Richard on the beach and shared a bed with Moe and Tommy all week."

"Fucking funny," he didn't look amused.

"Do I look like I'm laughing?" He did a momentary double take. "Course I'm joking. Bad enough that I've fucked the boss, isn't it? Jesus if word got around I might as well quit."

"Don't say that." He growled.

"True though isn't it? You knew, and that's why you left in such a hurry. Quick and dirty. What was it? You'd wondered what it would be like, so thought you might as well give it a go before you started the top job?" He didn't say anything. "And now you're worried that I've been off having too much fun with one of the lads? Like you have any say whatsoever?"

"No. Fuck no. You can do whatever you want."

"I know."

"See whoever you want."

"I know."

"Will you stop arguing with me on this?"

"I'm agreeing with you. Boss." Somehow, you'd managed to square up to each other like you were about to hit him. It was still a reasonably high possibility until he closed the gap and kissed you. Horny traitor that it is, your body gives in immediately. "We shouldn't do this again," you hiss as he bites your shoulder.

"So tell me to fucking stop." He grabs at your loose sleep vest and pulls it off, surprised to find you don't wear anything underneath. "And if you really do want me to stop, then you'd better tell me right fucking now." Instead, you walk him back a step to the sofa and push him to sit down. As soon as he does, you straddle him.

"Do not fucking stop." You warn him, pulling off his t-shirt. It's the same needy, desperate and hot sex that you'd both craved last time, at least this time you already know that it shouldn't be happening. The difference is that it makes it even more intense. He does the same disappearing act as last time, leaving you doubting your life choices and questioning your sanity.

~~~~~~~~

It happens again the next week. With so many people on holiday, Keeley organises a karaoke night for those who are around. It's lairy and a lot of fun, you sing a few songs including a duet with Nate. Soon, the challenge becomes choosing songs for other people. You can't even place the song Keeley has picked for you until the music kicks in, it's not until you're singing it and reading the lyrics that you realise how apt they are.

"I'm yours to keep

And I'm yours to lose

You know I'm not a bad girl

But I do bad things with you

So it goes

Come here, dressed in black now

So, so, so it goes

Scratches down your back now

So, so, so it goes"

You catch his eye as you're singing without meaning to, and it's like lighting a fire in your belly. You know it's going to happen again. You still don't make it to a bedroom. Instead, you get to your knees for him just inside your flat and this time he's the one sounding needy and desperate. You've never heard Roy Kent of all people sound so wrecked and affected. Ever giving, he's utterly confused when you reject him afterwards and send him home without letting him touch you at all.

It's this which brought him back to your door the last time, just over a month ago. You've been in a bit of a downward spiral ever since. It had been over a week since the karaoke night. Pre season training was due to start and you knew you'd be busy with rusty footballers who tried to rush their first decent stretch in weeks. You were exhausted after the first day back, your hands ached and you'd half forgotten what it was like to be on your feet all day. You're yawning your way through a takeout menu when the door goes. Once again, Roy is on your doorstep, but this time he has a bag of food with him. He brushes straight past you and into the kitchen where he manages to plate up two meals despite not knowing where anything is kept and you becoming mute.

"Why are you here?" You mumble.

"I saw the appointment list for today. Thought you'd be fucking knackered." Once you’ve finished eating, he leads you to your own bedroom where he sits you on the bed. "This ok," he asks.

You nod first, then follow up with a hushed, "Yes." He undresses you slowly, taking his time in a way he hasn't any of the other times before. He lays you back on the bed and settles between your thighs, you're in pieces even before you feel the wet slide of his tongue against your clit. He holds you down with one hand as you cant your hips towards him with a whispered "fuckkk," he gives your thigh a bite,

"Hold fucking still," you can feel him smirk against you. It doesn't take much for him to have your legs shaking, your hands are in his hair, dragging through the curls that have grown out over the summer break. You practically wail his name as you come, and if you've learned anything from the hurried, rough trysts you've had so far with Roy, it's that you definitely weren't prepared for the time he actually gets to take his time with you. He's watching you come down, boneless from your first orgasm, letting you think he's done with you before he goes back for more. By the time he's crawling back up the bed to you, the need to have his skin against yours is sinful. You can barely form full sentences, speaking only in single word requests, "clothes, more, now". He laughs, a low rumble that you feel against your ribs. He's equally as eloquent, but out to take an agonisingly long time with you. He pushes into you in long, slow strokes, his whole body weighted against yours. The closeness is both intense and intimate, and when he kisses you it feels so much like a promise your heart could break. Unlike the previous times, you don't part immediately while you both catch your breath. He shifts off you slightly but stays with his nose against your jaw and his hands coveting your body. He's the first one to say it.

"This can't keep happening."

"We both keep saying that and yet here we are again." You sit up against the headboard, mindful to cover yourself up.

"I know."

"But, you're right, we can't." You decide you need to be firmer, "I can't keep doing this." He nods and gets up to dress.

"I'm sorry." He mutters as he leaves.

~~~~~~~~

Roy is always consistently early for work. A byproduct of being awake at stupid o’clock to train Jamie, yes, but before that, he’s just always been early. Now he’s head coach, he uses the time to get the coffee going or makes sure Will is on top of everything in the boot room. Has a wander around and checks the gym or the showers for lonely socks, earbud boxes, or hats. More recently, he's just sat at his desk and moped for an extra half hour before anyone arrives and calls him out on it. Today, though, he puts the coffee on and starts in the gym where he straight away finds Isaac’s favourite sweatbands, Moe’s sunglasses, and one of Dani’s socks. It’s like picking up after a bunch of fucking kids. He dumps the loot in the middle of the locker room and carries on. He can hear singing as he gets closer to the showers and assumes that Jamie must have chosen food over cleanliness and has decided to save time by coming straight to Nelson Road after breakfast.

“Well, good for you, you look happy and healthy

Not me, if you ever cared to ask

Good for you, you're doing great out there without me, baby

Like a damn sociopath!

I've lost my mind, I've spent the night crying on the floor of my bathroom

But you're so unaffected, I really don't get it

But I guess good for you”

Yeah. That's not Jamie. But it's already too late, he'd been rounding the corner as he'd heard the singing and now, well… thank fuck you've got your back to him. He tries to back out of the room, but manages to crash into the bench and sends your phone crashing to the tiles, the music stopping abruptly. The noise has you covering as much of your body with your hands as you can while you scream like a banshee, the sound echoes off the tiles, and what the hell is the lump on your head?!

"Roy! Fuck me, turn around!" His brain manages to click into gear enough to let him do that at least, but then it goes manic on what he's just seen. Or not seen really, his memory fills in the blanks though. "Fucksake what the hell are you doing?” You’re shaking, he can hear it in your voice. He truly scared the shit out of you. “I need to finish washing my hair, can you be trusted for 5 fucking minutes if I move my hands?" You ask, a little calmer.

"I heard singing, thought it was one of the lads."

"Oh so jumping them in the shower is also fine? Don't move. I'm nearly done. Ouch, cocking shitting fuck." Your voice catches and he thinks you might be crying.

"Jesus, are you alright? I've never heard you swear like that."

"I'm fine," you reply quietly. "Hit my head." He turned quickly, too quickly for you to cover back up, "Oi!" His eyes initially went exactly where you’d expect, then they flew up to yours and didn't move, but it didn’t stop you covering yourself up with your hands again.

"Sorry, sorry, I-" he crossed the room and brought a hand up to your temple which was sporting a painful looking purple bruise. “Was it me, did you hit your head when I came in?” You shake your head with a grimace,

“No, it’s been a fucking awful morning. I just-,” he’s close enough now that he’s going to be right under the shower head in a minute, and he can see that you are close to tears. “You’re gonna get soaked. Could you just go away please?”

“Don’t worry about me,” he goes back to the bench and retrieves your phone from the floor. He has the good grace to look ashamed that the screen is smashed to bits. “Fuck, sorry.” he kicks off his sneakers and turns back to you, “turn around.”

“No, I want to be left alone. Let’s not pretend you give a shit, Roy. Just go.” He pinches the bridge of his nose. This is getting stupid.

“Of course I fucking give a shit. Please. Turn. Around. You’ve hit your head, you’re freezing cold, you-”

“Fine.” You glare, “fine.” You turn to face the wall, no idea why. It becomes clear as he comes to stand right behind you, under the stream of water.

“Head back.” You lean your head back as he asks. His height over you means he has a direct line of sight down your body so you keep your hands in place as he washes the shampoo out of your hair. He avoids the lump in your hairline far better than you did, and now you’re back under the water, you’re warming up a bit. He takes his time, and as you close your eyes, his are drawn to the path the droplets of water follow over your skin, like memories of where his mouth had been. “Did you need to do anything else?” he asks softly. You shake your head, moving your hands and arms so you can still cover yourself but also bring a hand to cover your face, trying not to cry. He reaches past you to turn the shower off. He moves away but he’s only gone long enough to get your towel from the hook. He holds it out for you and turns his head so you can move your arms and step into it. Then he leads you to the bench and pushes your shoulders gently to sit you down. He disappears and comes back a couple of minutes later with a towel for himself and another smaller one which he passes you for your hair. You use it to blot the majority of the water out of your hair, breathing in the soothing lavender softeners Will uses. He’s busy watching you but you’re staring at the floor. With your hair a little dryer, he brushes his fingers through it to move it away from the bruise and take a better look. “That looks really fucking nasty. What did you do?”

“Spanner.” You mumble. He’s not speaking so you know he’s waiting for you to elaborate. “I have a leak under the bath I was trying to fix. A spider scared me so I hit the spanner off my head while I was trying to get out and then there were like three other spiders all over me and I fucking hate spiders and… I just feel like shit.” Saying it all out loud, you realise it all sounds a bit feeble, that you’ve overreacted.

“Get dressed before you get a cold. I’ll be back in a minute. I’ll shout this time before I come in.”

~~~~~~

You don’t rush. You sit for a minute and try to gather your thoughts. Of all the people in the entire club, he was the one you’d least want to see you half naked in the shower. He’d have probably been top of the list only a month ago. You’re not even sure by this point what he actually did see, but it’s also too late to care now. It’s done so there’s no undoing it. And it's not like he hasn’t seen it all before anyway. You dry off and pull on your sweats, you’re just reaching for your Richmond t-shirt when he calls out to let you know he’s on his way back. He’s been to get changed,

“I’m fine, you might as well get back to work. Everyone will be here in a minute.” He goes to challenge you again but you just don’t have the energy. You haven’t even had a coffee yet this morning, let alone breakfast. “Please, Roy. I’m fine.” You throw your wet towel in your bag and check you’ve got everything before squeezing past him and back up to the treatment room. You avoid everyone all morning, Katie offers to go outside for training so you can stay in. She goes out just before 10am, meeting Nate in the corridor. You have to pop to the main office to sign for a delivery and when you get back, there’s a mug of coffee and a paper bag with a pastry inside on your desk, along with some painkillers. The rest of the day seems to settle down. You work your way through the list of players who need some time with you. Jan Maas is last on the list with a niggle he picked up in training that morning. You’ve got your hands high up on the back of his thigh when Roy taps on the door,

“Hey coach.” Jan mumbles from face down on the treatment bench. You manage to get your thumb right where he needs it and he lets out a low groan. Roy raises an eyebrow,

“Alright Jan. You good?”

“Yes, she’s a genius” He hops up from the bench with a big smile. “You should let me buy you a drink, to say thank you.”

“I’m fine thanks, Jan. Take it easy on your leg.” When he leaves, Roy moves to sit on the bench. He takes your wrist as you walk by him, pulling you to stand in front of him where he can check your forehead again.

"How's it feel?"

"Like I hit myself in the head with a spanner."

"Are you done?"

"For the day or generally? Because the answer is yes to both. I'm going home. I need to… not be here." Not be around you . Is the follow up you'd like to add. I can't ignore it like you can, can't just pretend I don't feel the way I do. It’s getting harder every day.

"I think you have a concussion. I'm pretty fucking sure you didn't want to vocalise those thoughts?" You go to slap your hand to your head, but he stops you just in time. "Don't make it any fucking worse." He rolls his eyes when you glare at him. The off season was so much easier. The need for contact between you both has steadily increased over the last month with the team returning. Daily meetings and progress reports on injuries old and new, the only saving grace is that he's stopped coming to you for his own recovery sessions.

"I'm going home."

"Let me drive you."

"I'd really rather you didn't. Look, I'll be fine. I'll get over it, I just need to do it in my own time." You don't wait for a response. You take your bag and leave him sitting on the treatment bench alone.

The first thing you do is fix the leak. It would be much easier if you were in the right frame of mind, which you're not, but you manage. There are no more spiders, but you end up soaked from the water left in the pipe which bursts out when you loosen rather than tighten the nut. You really don't know whether to laugh or cry from the calamity of it all. You're about to go for cry, but the doorbell goes and you're surprisingly unsurprised to see Roy. Again.

"You know, it would be a lot easier for me to get over whatever this," you motion between the two of you, "is, if you could just fuck off and leave me to it?"

"Can I come in?" You turn to let him in, looking expectantly for him to continue. His hand rubs his beard and up through his hair, cut shorter since the last time he was in your flat - the curls gone. "Fucksake. You act like this is easy for me."

"Well you make it seem like it is."

"It's not. It never fucking has been. Why do you think I kept coming back even though I knew, I knew it was a bad fucking idea?"

"You tell me? You're the one who walks out of here without a care in the world once you've got what you want?" A look of hurt flashed across his face, you knew it was a low blow, you had no idea why you'd even said it.

"Is that really what you think?" He asked quietly. You shook your head. "All this coaching job has done so far is make me fucking miserable."

"It's only been a couple of months. You'll figure it out."

"It's making me miserable because I lost you in the process. You said earlier that I shouldn't pretend to care, but I don't need to pretend. I do care. Too much, that's the fucking problem." He sighed heavily.

" We can't keep happening, you're my boss now."

"Well, I've been feeling like this a lot longer than I've been your fucking boss, and I don't regret any of it."

"Feeling what, exactly? Because if you're about to fuck up your future-"

"I love you." You close your eyes. Your head is pounding again.

"Roy, think about what you're doing -"

"Tell me you don't feel the same, and I'll go." You shake your head,

"I can't," you whisper. "I can't. I'm in love with you too." He crosses the room and cups your cheek, checking the bruise on your forehead again before he kisses you. You sigh into him, "What are we going to do?"

"I'm the boss. As long as I'm not fucking you in the treatment room, I think it'll be OK."

"That's a shame. Not even after hours?"

"Don't tempt me. Any objections to me waking you up every couple of hours to check you really don't have a concussion?"

"Depends how you plan to wake me?"

"I'm sure I'll think of something." He smiles, letting you lead him to the bedroom.

~~~~~~

FIN

#ted lasso #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fic #roy kent #roy kent x reader #roy kent fanfiction #roy kent fic #roy kent fluff #roy kent smut #roy kent x you #roy kent imagine

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eddiemunsons80sbaby · 1 month

Text

Never Say Never

Chapter 17

Pairing: SingleDad!StevexReader

Summary: You are a 32 year old single mother, raising your seven year old son on your own. After being widowed at 30 and going out on awful dates with disgusting men for the past month, you have decided that you're giving up. You already had your great love. One person can't possibly get lucky enough to have two in their lifetime. But then your son starts playing baseball and the coach might just change your mind about that.

No posting schedule.

18+ only for eventual smut

Word Count: 8.5K

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

“There she is. Welcome back, sweetheart.”

You fought through the fog to find the cheery face of a woman looking down at you, a woman you didn’t think you recognized but it was hard to tell when everything was so hazy. Your eyes blinked slowly, your lids feeling heavy. The face above you slowly came into focus, warm brown eyes that crinkled sweetly at the corners, a halo of short curly brown hair on top of her head. Who was this woman?

“That cute man of yours has been awfully worried. I had to practically chase him out of here to get something to eat. He was nodding off in the chair just waiting for you to wake up. He’s down in the cafeteria but I expect he’ll be back soon. He didn’t seem keen on leaving you.”

Cafeteria? Worried? You pressed your fists into the mattress beneath you, pushing yourself up. The woman talking to you was wearing scrubs, a badge hanging on them identifying her as Nurse Kathleen. You slowly took in your surroundings, the stark white walls, the uncomfortable bed beneath you, the chart hanging on the wall, the privacy curtain pulled back behind you.

“Oh no…” you groaned, your head flopping back against the pillow that somehow managed to be both too flat and too lumpy at the same time.

It all came rushing back to you. Steve asked you to stay the night with him and then told you the next logical step in your relationship would be to move in together. His words had sent you spiraling, nothing to grab onto, no time to complete your usual ritual, your body completely outside of your control. And then everything had gone black.

Your hands came to your face, running down slowly, mortified that you'd fallen apart in front of him again. And not just fallen apart, but fallen apart because he’d been baring his soul to you. He’d been telling you that he wanted you to share his bed, his home, his life with him. He’d been telling you he wanted to be a family. He’d been asking you to commit to him, the way he’d already chosen to commit to you and instead of assuring him, you'd completely unraveled. Way to ruin the moment. No, you didn’t even ruin it. You completely bulldozed it.

“Hey, it’s alright,” Nurse Kathleen assured, perching on the edge of the bed, her hand coming to your knee over the itchy blanket draped on top of your bare legs. “Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to the best of us.”

No. It didn’t. Most people didn’t black out because their boyfriend started talking about a future with them. Most people didn’t wind up taking an ambulance ride because the perfect guy was declaring his commitment. Most people didn’t wind up in a hospital bed because they couldn’t handle a serious conversation. Most people were able to control their emotions, to take the blows and surprises that came with life in stride, and move on. But not you. No. You had to have a meltdown.

What was Steve thinking right now? He was probably thinking he’d made a huge mistake hooking up with someone fragile enough to come apart at the drop of a hat. He was probably thinking you didn’t want this as much as he did. Because if you did, why would the very thought of it cause a medical situation?

But you did want it. You did. Why had your body reacted like that? Why had it betrayed you during what was such a pivotal moment in your relationship? Why couldn’t you just have opened your mouth and told him you did want all of that? You wanted to fall asleep next to him each night and wake up next to him in the morning. You wanted to be a family. You wanted to commit to him. You were already committed to him.

Yeah. It was soon but he was right. You just didn’t want to get Eli’s hopes up if this relationship wasn’t going anywhere. But it was. Hadn’t Steve shown you that it was? That he was one hundred percent in it? That he wanted you and everything that came with it?

So why had you fallen apart? Why had you felt the walls closing in on you? Why had the air escaped your lungs? Why had you blacked out? You didn’t have an answer and that only angered you even more. How could you not have an answer when it was your body?

“Anyway, you should be right as rain now. I expect they’ll be releasing you any minute.”

“What?” you responded, having had no idea what the nurse had just told you, too caught up in your own pity party.

“I said we gave you a little sedative to help calm your system down. It allowed you to take a nice little rest and allowed everything to relax. But Dr. Carth should be in soon and I expect he’ll be releasing you as long as you’re feeling okay enough to go home.”

“Oh…thanks…”

You looked up at the sound of a knock to find Janice in the doorway. Your best friend covered the space in no time, rushing in and wrapping her arms around you. Your head dropped, forehead resting against Janice’s shoulder, relishing in the comfort only your best friend could provide. Your best friend who had been by your side, who had seen you at your darkest, who had breathed with you through multiple attacks, who had encouraged you to go talk to someone.

“Hey babe. You okay?”

You pulled your head back, finding Janice’s eyes, full of concern, full of memories of your descent into a pit you never thought you'd claw your way back from. You nodded, your hands wrapping around her friend’s forearms as Nurse Kathleen excused herself, quietly leaving the two friends alone.

“What the hell happened?” asked Janice, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “You haven’t had an episode this bad in forever.”

“How did you know I was here?”

“Steve called me. He said that you’d had an attack and he couldn’t bring you out of it. He said you blacked out and he had the boys call 911. He sounded terrified. Scared the shit out of me.”

“The boys…” Your eyes widened. “Where are…”

“Robin’s with them. They’re fine. Steve called her after he called 911 to see if she could come stay with them. He didn’t think you’d want Eli hanging around the hospital.”

“Shit! Eli’s probably freaking out!”

You'd done it again. You swore you were done with it but you'd terrified your son again, twice in a mere matter of weeks after doing so well for over a year. He was probably sitting in Steve’s house, worried, not understanding what was happening.

“No. He’s okay. I called him after Steve called to give me an update. I assured him that you were alright, that the doctors were taking really good care of you, and you’d be back home in the morning. Steve said they didn’t really see a reason to keep you once they got your heart rate and breathing under control.”

“Where’s Steve? Is he still here?”

Or had he left as soon as he could? That was the part you couldn’t bring yourself to voice. Had he called Janice to come up to the hospital and sit with you so he could safely get the hell away from you and your insanity? Not that you'd blame him. He’d asked you to spend the night and you'd broken in half like a graham cracker. So easy to crumble, the slightest pressure and you were snapping.

“He’s downstairs,” Janice answered. “He was talking to Nancy on the phone when I got here. I am sure he’ll be back up but he was going to give us a little time first. So, back to my original question that you have yet to answer. What in the hell happened?”

“I don’t know,” you groaned, dropping back against the bed, fingers slipping into your hair. “He asked me to stay the night. He said all our reasoning for waiting wasn’t a reason anymore because we’d both said we were in it. He said what was the big deal because we would share a bed when we moved in together which would be the logical next step. And I just spiraled. Janice, I couldn’t do anything. There was no time to look at things or hear things or feel things. It was on me, completely taking over. I couldn’t breathe. It was so damn fast. None of the tools I’ve learned were any help because I was already in the vortex of it as fast as it began.”

“Okay.” Janice’s fingers pressed against her lips. “So, did you not want to stay the night? Is this all moving too quickly for you? Did him talking about that freak you out?”

“I don’t know. That’s what pisses me off. I have no idea why it happened. I mean, I love him. I do. I want all of that with him. I want to stay the night with him. I want us to live together…I mean, eventually. I don’t know. It is fast. Right? Isn’t it? We’ve only been seeing each other for a little over a month. We’ve only known each other for like two months. I do worry about Eli. I don’t want to make some big move and then have it all fall apart around us. I can’t bear to watch his heart broken all over again. But I do want it.”

“Do you? Because your brain obviously doesn’t agree with your words.”

You growled in frustration, fingers curling in your hair, tugging. You did want it. Didn’t you? You loved Steve. You loved the way his hand always found yours when you were close, completely swallowing it in his large grip. You loved the way he put on shades and danced around, pretending to be Tom Cruise in Risky Business. You loved the way he was so patient with Eli. You loved the way he made you feel safe and secure and like you were the most precious thing in the world to him. You loved him. You wanted this. You wanted him.

“I do!” you insisted, not sure who you were trying to convince more, Janice or yourself. “I do. I don’t why the hell my body reacted like that. I don’t know why his words caused that. I want him. Janice, I want him.”

Your friend’s hands landed on your shoulders, pressing down, centering you as your heart rate kicked up, the machine next to you beeping incessantly. You closed your eyes, inhaling through your nose and blowing it out slowly through your mouth. They were about to release you. You had to calm yourself down. You did not need to give them a reason to keep you.

“Okay. Okay. I believe you. But hon, something is sending mixed signals. Some wires are getting crossed or something. There is something that is sending you into frantic mode at the thought of taking that next step with him. You have to figure out what it is.” Janice’s fingers slid under your left palm, lifting it up to your face. Your wedding band sparkled under the fluorescent lights of the hospital room. “Maybe you should start here.”

“I…but…this is…Justin…” you stammered.

“Yeah. It’s your wedding ring. The ring that Justin gave you. The ring that a man who is no longer around gave you. You’re still wearing it and it’s been two years since you lost him. Two years next week, hon. Do you think maybe that has something to do with your attack?”

Your eyes moved to the whiteboard across the room, the date written across the top, May 17, 1996. You swallowed. You'd been so swept up in this new relationship, in the excitement of it, your little bubble of joy and happiness, that it had completely slipped your mind that the anniversary of Justin’s death was coming up. He died on May 23, 1994. The worst day of your life. No. That wasn’t right. You hadn’t known then. The worst day was May 24, 1994 when two officers showed up on your doorstep.

Could that be why the attack happened? Could that be why it came on so strong and so quick? Your subconscious remembered somehow and was punishing you for forgetting, something you swore you'd never do. How could you forget? How could you not have remembered? Had everything you'd told Judith been a lie? Were you just allowing Steve to slip right in and replace Justin? Allowing yourself to forget him because you were more concerned with your own happiness?

“How could I…” you whispered, silent tears spilling from your eyes and rolling down your cheeks. “Oh my god, Janice. How could I just forget him like that?”

“Oh sweetie, don’t do that. It’s okay.”

“It’s not!”

“It is. Babe, you’re allowed to be happy. I haven’t seen you smile this much in two years. Steve makes you happy. You didn’t forget Justin. You forgot about a date. A date that is filled with nothing but pain and sadness. It’s not a date you should be focusing on anyway. Focus on the good ones. The day you went on your first date, the day you got married, the day you moved into your new house, the day you had Eli…those are the dates you want to remember. It’s not a bad thing that someone made you happy enough to forget about your pain.”

“But I swore that I wouldn’t forget. I swore that I wouldn’t let Steve replace him.”

“He’s not. He’s not replacing anybody. Look, when people lose a dog, they’re so sad. They go out and get another dog. It’s not to replace the one they’ve lost. It’s because they miss the companionship. They miss the love the dog brought to their life. They’re not forgetting their other dog. They’re simply trying to mend their broken heart with more love. That’s all you’re doing. You’re mending your broken heart by allowing Steve to pick up the pieces and reassemble them. It won’t look the same and it won’t fully heal the injury that was inflicted but it will soften it. You’ll never be the same but why would you want to? This new version of you is the one that gets to start a new chapter with the guy you love now.”

Your breath shuddered, your hands clasping together. You thought you'd dealt with all of this. You thought you were ready to move on but some part of you must have been holding on. Some part of you was not letting the past go and that part had reared its head, made itself be known, when Steve had merely mentioned the idea of taking the next step. He hadn’t even been saying you should do it now. He’d only hinted that it was what would come next.

“You don’t have to forget him, babe, but you do have to let him go. And I mean actually let him go. You’re never going to be able to give yourself to Steve fully, the way he deserves, until you do. And I don’t think your brain has gotten that message which tells me you haven’t. The attack you had tonight tells me you haven’t.” She grabbed your hand, lifting it again. “This tells me you haven’t.”

You nodded, finger and thumb coming to your ring, twirling it back and forth, remembering when Justin had slipped it on your finger. It had been a beautiful fall day. You'd always wanted a fall wedding and Mother Nature had cooperated fully, only cementing the fact in your mind that you and Justin were meant to be. So many people had told you that you couldn’t plan an outdoor wedding in October because the weather would be too unpredictable. But the sun had shown down on you, a warm breeze ruffling your hair, as you'd promised to love one another until death do they part.

Justin got to keep that promise. But you weren't gone yet. Maybe his death nullified that vow but you had no intention of breaking it. You would love him until you took your last breath. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t love Steve as well. The heart wasn’t some box of a predetermined size. It could expand exponentially to fill with as much love as you could carry. And these days, you had a lot to fill it with.

“I will. I…”

“Hey there.”

Hastily wiping your cheeks with the back of her hand, you managed to smile up at Steve, who stood in the doorway awkwardly, like he wasn’t sure if he should be there or not.

“Sorry. If I’m interrupting, I can…” He hooked his thumb behind him.

“No, no,” Janice insisted, shaking her head. “I was just getting ready to go get some coffee and see where this doctor is.” She stood, patting your shin gently. “I’ll track him down so we can get the paperwork rolling to get you the hell out of here. I promised my nephew that his mom would be home in the morning.”

“Thanks.” You reached for her hand, squeezing it tightly, your insides squeezing just as tightly when your friend walked out, leaving you and Steve alone.

He pressed his lips together, barely stepping into the room. Leaning back against the wall just to the right of the door, he propped one foot over the other, eyes down on the floor. The sight tugged painfully at your heart, knowing you'd given him reason to doubt. Reason to believe that you weren't one hundred percent in, reason to think that you would cut and run at a moment’s notice. All of this tension was completely your fault.

“How are you feeling?” he asked at the same moment you hurriedly said, “I’m so sorry.” Steve paused, his eyes flicking up to yours.

“I’m so sorry,” you repeated. “I’m so sorry that happened. I don’t know what happened. I couldn’t stop it. Usually I can focus on something. You know? But this came on so fast and I didn’t mean to scare you and I didn’t mean to scare the boys and I…”

“It’s okay,” he tried but you cut him off.

“No it’s not. I thought I had come so far. It had been over a year since I’d had a full blown attack and I’ve had two since I’ve known you.”

“Well, that’s not reassuring.” His head turned, looking out the window at a group of birds flying by. “Am…am I causing you anxiety?” Those hazel eyes fixed on you but he didn’t make a move to come any closer. “Is being with me causing you anxiety?”

You sighed, blinking back tears, “Yes.”

“Great.” He nodded, lips pouting to the side.

“But not like you think. You don’t cause me anxiety. You make me so happy. The first time it happened I was just panicking because your friends were talking about us being a couple and I wasn’t even sure you wanted that. Hell, I wasn’t sure I wanted that. My head was in such a weird place. I was worried about Eli and I was worried what it meant if I liked you. And this time, it wasn’t you. It was…”

“Me pushing you,” he finished for you, his chest rising with a deep inhale. “I was pushing you to move faster than you’re ready for. Look, I didn’t mean we should move in together now.” A harsh laugh shook his body, teeth raking over his bottom lip. “I mean, that would be insane. Obviously I don’t want to move in together any time in the near future.”

“You…you don’t?”

“No,” he scoffed. “We’ve only been dating for a little over a month. That would be completely insane. We don’t even know each other that well yet, right? Besides, I like my space. I’m not ready to give that all up yet. I mean, someday…maybe, yeah, but not anytime soon.”

Your chest felt like someone had dropped a buffalo on it, the weight pressing down, your heart that had just begun to mend starting to crack at his words. But what did you expect? After the way you'd acted, you'd expected this. You'd expected him to pull away, to put the car in reverse and slam his foot down on the pedal.

It was soon. But that didn’t seem to be how he felt last night. He’d been trying to convince you that it wasn’t too soon, that only you could decide how soon. How quickly he’d changed his mind. How quickly his feelings had changed when he was faced with what he’d be dealing with if he moved forward with you. Something he’d told you he could handle but obviously couldn’t.

“Hey!” Janice exclaimed, bouncing into the room. “Good news! I tracked down the doc and he’s on his way in to release you.”

“Great,” you replied with as much excitement as you could muster. “I’m ready to go home.”

“So, how are we doing this? Steve taking you back to his place or…?”

“No. I just want to go home,” you mumbled. “I…Steve should get back for the boys. Could you just take me home so I can get my car and go get Eli?”

Janice frowned, “Honey, I don’t think you should be driving right now. Doc says you should rest. He put a call into Dr. Watson and let her know what happened. She wants to see you as soon as possible to talk about your meds.”

“Okay. I’ll…I’ll call her on Monday. I can drive. I just…”

“I’ll bring Eli to your house,” Steve said. “If you want Janice to take you home, I’ll go get Eli and bring him to you.”

“Okay, what is happening right now?” your friend asked suspiciously, looking between the two of you.

“Nothing. I’m just…I’m really tired after everything and I just want to go home and sleep.”

“Well, then why don’t I drop you off and then I go get Eli and bring him so he can see you for a minute and know you’re okay? And then I can take him and he can stay with me and Matt for the day so you can relax.You know you’re not getting any relaxation with that kid around. Besides, Matt’s been dying to get him back to the batting cages.”

“That’s fine,” you agreed, not having the energy to argue.

“Alright. Well, then I’ll go back to the house to let the boys know everything’s good and you’re fine.” Steve rocked on his heels awkwardly, clearly uncertain as to what he should do. Would he kiss your forehead sweetly like he usually did? Would he hug you? “I’m really glad you’re okay.”

Nope. None of the above. He maneuvered around Janice and made his way out the door with barely a backwards wave. That pressure on your chest slithered down into your stomach, boulders settling in, the reality of what was happening threatening to crush you.

“What the hell did I miss in the five minutes I was gone?” asked Janice.

You didn’t answer, simply laid back on the bed, draping your hand over your face. One month of building something that looked like it might last and you'd shattered it all in one night.

____________________________________________________________

“Daddy! We’re here!”

Jeremiah came barreling through the door, instantly colliding with Miles who had been racing through the house to greet his favorite little guy. The kid fell backward and Miles was on him in an instant, covering his face with sloppy kisses while Jere squealed and laughed.

Nancy walked in behind him, Jeremiah’s backpack slung over one shoulder, which she dropped down onto the floor. Miles bounded over to her and she crouched down, scratching the massive beast behind his ears and pressing a kiss to his snout.

Jeremiah leapt up from the ground, eyes shining when he saw the snack that Steve had been preparing for him. “Oreos and milk! Yes!” His feet pounded over the hardwood in his race to get to the table.

“Thanks for picking him up for me,” Steve told Nancy.

“No problem.” Rising to her feet, she brushed her hands down the front of her jeans in a pointless attempt to rid them of dog hair. “But why couldn’t you get him today?”

“Oh…uh…” He turned his back on her, placing the Oreos back into the cabinet as his brain scrambled for a reasonable excuse as to why he didn’t pick up his son. “Meeting. Yeah. Meeting about the new development. We’re breaking ground next week and we had to…you know, flesh some things out. Make sure it’s all going to run smoothly.”

“Uh-huh…”

She didn’t believe him. He could tell she didn’t believe him. Maybe they hadn’t been right for each other but he knew Nancy. He knew all her tones, gestures, and facial expressions and she knew his. And her tone right now was letting him know that she knew something was up.

Steve dropped into the chair next to Jeremiah, eager to get the focus off of himself, “How was school today?”

“It was good,” Jere shrugged before shoving a milk soaked cookie into his mouth.

“Just good? No stories to tell today?” Steve urged, needing his son to tell one of his long drawn-out stories of second grade drama. He needed something, anything, to get Nancy’s eyes to stop focusing on him.

“Well, Brent is finally being nice to everybody.”

“Oh yeah? That’s great!”

His son rolled his eyes, “I guess. But he’s only being nice because nobody would play with him anymore. Even Travis and Ricky stopped playing with him because he started calling them names and being really mean to them too.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? That he’s being nice?”

“I don’t know. Is he only going to be nice until everyone plays with him again and then he will be mean again? I think we should just keep ignoring him because he’s a bully. Beth asked him to swing with her today and he used to steal her food and tell her she was fat! Why would she even want to play with someone like that? I don’t think we should just forget all the bad stuff he did.”

“You don’t forget,” Nancy told him, stepping into the kitchen to take the chair on the other side of their son. “But you can forgive. If he’s genuinely trying to change, that’s a good thing. Sometimes even the biggest jerks can change for the better and turn out to be pretty good guys.”

She smirked at Steve, one eyebrow lifting knowingly and he pressed his lips together, putting his head down. He would never live down his King Steve days, walking around like he owned the school, picking on those he saw as inferior to himself, including his ex-wife’s current husband. He was a Brent at one time and that thought disgusted him, the idea of who he used to be, but it was something he swore he’d never be again.

“Yeah but what if he hasn’t really changed? What if he’s just pretending so we all play with him again and then, bam! He’s back to being a big, fat jerk!”

“Well, you’ll have to wait and see. If he goes back to being a jerk, then you all refuse to allow it again. But maybe you all showing him that you would not accept his behavior was enough to change him. Maybe he realized if he kept acting like that he would be all alone and he’s really trying to do better. Sometimes when someone sees how it feels to be the person who’s being treated badly, they see how wrong it is.”

“Maybe…” Jeremiah didn’t sound entirely convinced.

“Regardless, just because he was mean doesn't make it right for you to be mean back. You all ignored him because you were standing up for yourself and that’s okay but if you do it now, then you’re being just as mean as he was. You should at least give him a chance to show you that he’s trying.”

“I guess. Eli doesn’t trust him either. Brent asked Eli who his favorite superhero was at lunch and Eli just walked away from him. He said Brent was probably just asking so he could make fun of him for it. But I’ll tell him we should at least try to be his friend. But if he does it again, I will never be his friend.”

“I think that’s fair. You’re giving him a chance to show he is sorry. If he doesn’t show that, then you shouldn’t give him any more chances,” Steve stated. “I’m really proud of you two for getting everyone to stand up to him. You not only stood up for yourselves but for others and that’s something to be proud of. You’re growing into a good little human, kid. There’s not much else I could ask for as a dad.”

“Where do you think he’s getting that?” asked Nancy and when he just looked at her, she laughed, rolling her eyes. “He’s learning from you. You don’t hesitate to stand up for others. And you always do the right thing by the people you care about. You’re one of the bravest people I know. Our son has a pretty amazing role model to look up to.”

Her words hit him, a blow to the chest that almost knocked him back off his chair. Because he wasn’t doing the right thing by someone he cared an awful lot about right now and he knew it. He was hiding and avoiding instead of facing it because he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to know what was on the other side of the curtain he was concealing himself behind. There was nothing brave about it.

“Hey daddy. Can Eli come over tonight? We haven’t played together, besides at school, since his mommy had to go to the hospital.”

Nancy’s brows shot up her forehead at this revelation. Those stormy blue eyes were fixed on him, her arms folding on top of the table. Shit. His son had just ratted him out, whether he’d meant to or not, and there would be no getting out of this now. When Nance had her laser fixed on you, there was no escape.

“Hey Jere, don’t you have some homework to do?” Nancy asked.

“Yeah, but daddy didn’t say if Eli could come over.”

“Not tonight buddy, okay? But we’ll make sure he comes over soon.”

“Why not?” Jere demanded. “We saw each other every day and now I haven’t hung out with him in four days. Are you and his mom fighting? Did you break up? Because Eli said he asked her last night when we were going to see them again and she said she didn’t know. Why wouldn’t she know? Did you mess up?”

“It’s complicated. Look…”

“Jeremiah, I need you to go upstairs and do your homework, okay?” Nancy stated calmly, letting her son know that there would be no more arguing. “Your dad and I need to talk and then we will talk about Eli and his mom and when you can see them later.”

“Fine,” his son growled, angrily dropping his cup and plate into the sink. He grabbed his backpack by the strap, dragging it behind him, his feet stomping loudly on each stair to make certain they knew just how unhappy he was.

Nancy stayed quiet, her eyes on the stairs until they heard the slam of Jeremiah’s door, an exclamation point on his anger and annoyance at being dismissed. Certain their son would not overhear, she turned to Steve, hands clasping on top of the table.

“Alright, spill. What’s going on?”

Steve put on the best clueless face he could manage, lips mashed together, eyes wide and confused, head shaking side to side. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Nance.”

“Oh cut the bullshit, Steve Harrington. I’ve known you for way too long to buy that. You are head over heels for this girl. I’ve never seen you so gone for anyone and you really expect me to believe you haven’t seen her for four days and nothing’s going on?”

“I don’t know what to tell you,” he shrugged, drumming his fingers on the tabletop.

“How about the truth?”

Damn Nancy and her perceptive nature. He sighed, sinking further down in the chair, resigning himself to having to tell her what was going on. She wouldn’t leave until he did.

“Fine. The truth is, I thought she felt the same way about me that I did about her but she doesn’t, okay? I thought she wanted forever. I thought she saw this as a long term, endgame kind of thing, but she clearly doesn’t so what’s the point in continuing it?”

“What in the hell are you talking about?” hissed Nancy. “Are you out of your mind? I’ve seen the way that girl looks at you. She’s just as crazy about you as you are about her.”

“She’s not. Trust me.” He shoved back from the table roughly, standing up, hands on his hips, back to Nancy.

“What made you think this? What happened? I know she had that bad anxiety attack but…”

“Yeah. She had that anxiety attack after I asked her to spend the night with me. After I mentioned that the next step for us would be moving in together. And look, I know it was fast and I know I do that all the time.” His hands flailed uncontrollably as he paced back and forth, feeling all the threads that held him together coming unraveled as he poured out his soul. “I probably shouldn’t have even mentioned something like that yet. But Nance, I’ve never felt the way I do about her. I…it’s not like the way I love baseball or a medium rare steak or hitting the snooze button an extra time in the morning. She consumes me. She’s all I can think about. When she’s with me I never want to let her go and when she’s gone I just want to be with her again. It’s like I’m in free fall and I’m scared to death I’m just going to splat on the ground. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want her.”

His fingers moved roughly through his hair, his feet stopping. Steve turned to Nancy, chest heaving, his hands curling around the top of the chair, to find her wide eyed, jaw almost to the table.

“Wow…okay…I mean, I knew you really liked her but you’re completely in love with her.” Her tongue traced the seam of her lips, fingers coming to her chin. “You’re in really deep, aren’t you?”

“I’m fucking drowning, Nance. I’m out here in the waves being thrown about, water filling my lungs, holding my hand out to her but she’s not going to take it.”

“You don’t know that, Steve.”

“I do! I do know that. Why would the idea of moving in with me send her into an anxiety attack unless the very thought was too much for her to handle? And I’m just going to keep sinking in the endless ocean if I don’t get out now until it’s too late and I am destroyed. Stuck on the bottom like the Titanic until I rot and pieces of me fall off and everything that was good about me is rusted and decayed!”

“Wow…you know King Steve really was the perfect nickname for you.”

His eyes shot over to her, annoyed, “Excuse me?”

“King Steve, as in drama king. Jesus, Steve. The girl struggles with anxiety. She has no control over when it happens and you’ve made it all about you. You’ve convinced yourself that this mental illness she struggles with has anything to do with you. How about you make your way out of the deep end and head back over to the shallows with the rest of us Mr. Swim Captain?”

“I’m not saying it’s all about me but it’s called an anxiety attack because it’s triggered by anxiety, right? Which means the idea of moving in with me someday caused her to have anxiety. Doesn’t exactly scream that she’s excited at the idea of a future with me.”

“Maybe she is. I mean, did you even talk to her about it?”

“No,” he scoffed. “I’d just sent her to the damn hospital, Nance! That was on me and my big mouth. So I assured her I didn’t mean now. I didn’t want to move in together now. I told her that would be crazy, that I wasn’t ready, that I like my space. I didn’t want to send her into another attack.”

Nancy’s hand covered her face, a deep groan audible from behind it, “You are such an idiot, Steve Harrington.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Trying to keep her calm makes me an idiot? She clearly didn’t want to be around me. She asked her friend, Janice, to take her home. She wanted no part of coming back here.”

“And that couldn’t have been because you’d just made it sound like she was invading your bachelor lifestyle, could it? “

“What? No! I…” Had that been what he’d said? No. He hadn’t said that, not in so many words, but could that have been how you'd taken it? “Okay. Maybe not the best way to word it but I just didn’t want to upset her again. I panicked, okay? I’d just had to call 911. I’d watched her struggle to breathe, Nance. It was terrifying. I didn’t want to say anything that could set her off again.”

“She’s not a rocket, Steve. There’s no fuse to light. You will never know what is going to cause it because she probably doesn’t know. So, let me get this straight. The girl has an anxiety attack, one that is so bad that she has to be taken to the hospital. She’s scared, obviously, and probably nervous about what you’re thinking. Not to mention embarrassed that it happened in front of you, again, if I’m correct. And then you tell her that you don’t want her invading your space and haven’t called her in four days to even see how she’s doing and are such a wuss that you send me to pick up Jere on your day so you don’t have to see her? This sounds like how an adult handles things to you?”

“Well, I…I mean…”

But what does he mean? He doesn’t even know. Nancy’s right. He didn’t even give you a chance to explain. You apologized to him and he just shut you down, his fear rising up, stacking bricks in front of him in an effort to protect himself because he was terrified. Terrified of the power you had to completely annihilate him with just a few words.

“I’m scared,” he admitted, chewing on his lower lip, closing his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see the pity he was sure was all over Nancy’s face. “I’m scared of how bad it will hurt if…when she decides to leave me.”

“I know you are. But Steve, that’s the risk you take. You can’t be with someone, truly give yourself to them, without there being the risk that you could have your heart broken. Even now, there is always a risk that Jonathan could walk out the door. He could wake up one morning and tell me he doesn’t feel the same. So what do I do? Choose to walk away first? Choose to be alone just in case? But alone is lonely, Steve. If you want this, you’re going to have to accept the risk that comes with it.”

“But what if…”

“What if what? What if you get hit by a bus tomorrow? What if a plane crashes into the middle of town? What if aliens invade or there’s a zombie apocalypse? You can play the what if game forever if you want. But it won’t get you the one thing you really want. It won’t get you her. It won’t get you happiness. It won’t get that happily ever after you’ve been chasing for years. All it will get you is you talking yourself right out of this. She's already suffered loss. Don’t make her lose you too. Not when she doesn’t have to. Not when it’s just your own ego and fear that’s in the way.”

“Okay but what if…” He held up his hand when Nancy opened her mouth, ready to interrupt him again. “What if I go to her and she tells me this was all a mistake? What if she says that the mention of moving in together just showed her she’s not sure she really wants this? What then?”

“Then at least you know instead of sitting around here moping and sending me to pick up our kid like I’m your personal chauffeur. Wouldn’t it be better to know? Because if you don’t, you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering.”

Would it be better to know? Steve wasn’t so sure. It depended on what you had to say.

___________________________________________________________

Four days…four days and absolutely nothing from Steve. You wanted to scream into the void, to pound your fists against the wall, to throw things and feel the satisfaction of watching them smash into pieces. But you couldn’t. Your son was downstairs eating his snack of popcorn while watching Hey Arnold. You had to keep control of yourself. You couldn’t scare your son anymore. You'd done enough of that over the last couple months.

You'd thought Steve just needed some time. And you were more than willing to give that to him. But when Nancy had shown up at pick-up today, on a day you knew was supposed to be Steve’s, all hope that this was some temporary thing disintegrated. Nancy didn’t seem to really know why she was picking up Jeremiah for him but you didn’t need a reason because you already knew.

He’d decided you were too much for him. It was a lot to ask anyone to take on. Your grief, your past, your overbearing mother-in-law, your mental struggles, your son…what man would willingly want to walk into all of that? He’s even said it. He didn’t want you invading his space. He didn’t want you with your anxiety that crept up at the worst times with no notice and your past that kept dragging you down.

Your eyes fell to your ring again, the simple engagement band with a small diamond in the middle, tiny diamonds on either side, soldered to a solid gold band after you were married. Justin apologized right after you'd said yes, assuring you he would get you a better ring when you had more funds. But you never wanted one, not even after the two of you were bringing in more cash. The cost of the ring had never mattered. This piece of jewelry was priceless to you. It wasn’t just gold and stones. It was a promise. It was a feeling. It was a period in your life that would forever be precious.

But Janice was right. It had been two years. How could you possibly hope to ever move on when you were still holding on so tightly. When you couldn’t even let go of the symbol that represented what was, how could you possibly hope to embrace what could be?

Maybe it wouldn’t be Steve. Maybe you'd ruined any chance you had of him being the one. Maybe he was done with you, glad he’d dodged the bullet that was your instability. But that didn’t mean you didn’t still have a chance of moving on, even if it was alone. If you truly wanted to let the past go, then you had to release it and along with it, the guilt that weighed you down, that kept telling you that you were still tied to Justin.

You knew what you needed to do. It was time. It had been time for a long while now. Walking over, you grabbed the phone and made a call.

___________________________________________________________

“Hey, baby,” you greeted the slab of granite as you dropped down to your knees on the soft ground. Your fingers trailed over the grass, plush and full now, remembering when it was nothing but dirt, your fingers clawing into the loose soil as your tears created puddles, your screams wrenched into the empty air.

A soft exhale released through pursed lips as you prepared yourself for the toughest conversation of your life. Well, until the conversation you intended on trying to have after this one. Your fingers gravitated to the stone, tracing over the etched letters, spelling out the name of the person you had believed would be your forever.

You didn’t come here often anymore. You and Eli would bring a pizza and have a picnic on his birthday in August. That was something you'd promised him the two of you would always do. You would always bring a wreath at Christmas. The first year you'd been here twice a week, needing to feel close to him, even if logically you knew nothing was here but a cold, empty body.

But then you'd started therapy and as you began to feel like you were getting a handle on your grief, your need to be here lessened. It wasn’t gone. People who say that grief passes with time are lying. It enters your body and stays, altering you forever. It never completely disappears. You just learn to live with it more as each day passes. The jagged edges get just a bit more rounded, softer, not quite so painful but they’re still there.

“I miss you, you know that?” Your head dropped, your body rounding in on itself. “I miss you so damn much, all the time. I thought it would never get better. I thought it would never get easier. For so long, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like I couldn’t live without you.”

You could barely remember those dark days when Eli was the only thing dragging you out of bed in the morning. You could barely remember them because you weren't really there. It was like a part of you had died right alongside Justin and you were just a body walking around, going through the motions, for the sake of your son.

The nights when Janice would take him because you didn’t have the strength to pretend. When you would lay in your bed and cry and scream until you had nothing left. When you would curse God and the universe for taking him from you, for leaving your son without a father, for leaving you alone in the world, for destroying your life.

Now, grief would hit you at the weirdest times. Most times it was just a small twist of your stomach, uncomfortable but manageable. Sometimes it was debilitating, to the point where you wanted to curl into the fetal position. You missed his smile, the way he laughed with his whole body, his voice whispering in your ear…things that were getting harder and harder to hold onto as time passed. But you wouldn’t let them go. You held on as hard as you could, refusing to let him fully slip away from you.

“But somehow, day by day, breathing became a little easier. I finally felt like I was back in my body. I was still sad. I was missing you. But I was able to enjoy the sun on my face, the sound of our son’s laughter, getting a cup of coffee with Janice. I could smile again. I could live again. All these things that I’d lost for so long because I was shrouded in my grief. It was a weight pressing down on me but I got help and…and now, there’s someone. Someone who is helping lift the weight off of me, who makes me feel like I might really have a shot at being happy again.”

You swallowed, your eyes slipping closed as tears escaped, trails of emotion running down your cheeks and off your chin. You pulled your lower lip between your teeth, bracing yourself.

“His name is Steve and he makes me really happy. For the first time since I lost you, I have hope. Hope that I can still have love. And Eli adores him. He’s so good with him. He’s a dad too. His son is the same age and they’re best friends. That’s actually how we met each other. He coaches Eli’s baseball team. You’d be so proud of him. He’s learned so much and he’s a hell of a little player. Him and Jeremiah…” You snorted, wiping your face with the back of your hand. “They’re such devious little rascals. They’ve been plotting us being together since we met. I think they knew something we didn’t or something.”

Your eyes roamed skyward as a flock of geese soared overhead, their honking breaking the silence of the cemetery. They were coming home to the warmth and the new life that Spring brought with it. Just like you, they were turning toward new possibilities and leaving behind the past.

“I love you. I will always love you. You…you showed me what love is. You showed me what it means to give all of yourself to another person. You showed me what a beautiful gift that can be, even if it was taken from you far too soon. I will never forget you. I will always be grateful for the time we had together. You will always be my first love, but…” Your thumb and forefinger gripped the gold band, slowly sliding it along your fingertip until it was free, the skin bare for the first time in over a decade. “But it’s time to say goodbye. I have to let you go. I have to do this if I have any chance of moving on. And I may have ruined my shot with Steve. It might be too late already because I couldn’t do this before but I have to try. I have to believe you’d want me to.”

A warm breeze suddenly picked up, lifting your hair, wrapping around you like a hug and you closed your eyes, smiling through the tears streaming down your face.

“I love you to Pluto and back…” you whispered into the wind, recalling your phrase, Justin declaring the moon wasn’t far enough to show how much he loved you. Pressing your fingers to your lips, you pressed them to the stone, slipping your ring into her pocket.

“Honey?"

You gasped at the sound of that voice, in this place. What in the world was he doing here? Turning your head, you wondered if he was a figment of your imagination, something you'd dreamed up because your desire to see him was so strong.

“Steve?”

Chapter 18

Taglist: @katethetank@roxiehorrorshow@sapphire4082@bakugouswh0r3@frostandflamesfanfic @mix-matchsocks @mushy-mushroom04 @palmtreesx3 @littlebookworm86 @eddies-trailer-babe @cheesewritings @emilyj444 @daisyhollyxox @angelbabyivy @the-fairy-anon @loritate7311 @k-k0129

Thanks so much for taking the time to read my little story! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist. If you want to be added please make sure your age is stated on your page somewhere. 😊 And replies and reblogs are always appreciated if you enjoy it. I love to hear what you think! ❤️❤️❤️

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izzyspussy · 8 months

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Rating Ted Lasso Characters Based On If They'd Respect My Pronouns (Correctly)

Roy "We Stayed At GAY Til 3AM And Then We Had Crepes With Some Drag Queens" Kent: 11/10 no fucking shit. He would defend me from misgendering also, even if we weren't friends. He's the very embodiment of that guy who fought the trans guy and then fought the authority figure who scolded him for hitting a girl.

Nate "Genius (Code for Autistic)" Shelley: 11/10 are you kidding. If only quarantine had happened in his universe he'd have pronouns too. Also his girlfriend obviously already does.

Jamie "Prettyboy" Tartt: 11/10 duh. No, he doesn't know off the top of his head what part of speech a pronoun is, but only because nothing in the universe could matter less. And much like Roy, if he saw someone else being contrarian for the purposes of being a prick for absolutely no earthly reason, he would be eager to do something about it.

Keeley "Just The Tip" Jones: 11/10 did you see her. Never have I personally received more solidarity than from (butches and) full tilt Barbie Girl femmes like Keeley. She may be cis and she wears "women's" clothes, but she's still doing drag every day. She gets it.

Colin "Right by This Pink Triangle?" Hughes: 11/10 obviously. He would be so good at not making a big deal out of doing it correctly himself or correcting others, because he knows what it's like to just want to live your authentic life without being a spectacle.

Coach "You Should See Him In Drag" Beard: 11/10 which you should've guessed. Look at him. Look at him with your heart. You know he has pronouns you've never even heard of that he takes out for special occasions.

Ted "We Don't Not Care" Lasso: 11/10 why is this even a question. Practically the entirety of Ted's goals in life are to be respectful and kind and help others do the same. Sometimes that's hard and he fucks it up, but this is easy. C'mon.

Sam "Social Justice Warrior" Obisanya: 11/10 like. Obviously. I have nothing else to say, like. Obviously. Obviously.

Bumber-"Impending Class War"-catch: 11/10. If anything, given the opportunity, he would encourage me to have more pronouns.

Dani "Joy" Rojas: 11/10. These are getting very simple now, and require less and less explanation. He promotes joy. What else do you want.

Rebecca "Ask Your Daughter What It Means" Welton: 11/10. She's a cutthroat and a genuine feminist. She doesn't care if a bunch of freaks are scared of strangers' genitals, and she's certainly not going to let something so petty get in her own way.

Jan "I've Run Out of Fun Epithets For Everyone And He Wouldn't Mind This Unfun One That's Blunt About That Fact" Maas: 11/10 of course. There's no logical, moral, or social reason not to, and there is a wealth of evidence supporting gender affirming behavior.

Isaac McAdoo: 11/10. And he would (unnecessarily) instruct all the other lads to do it too. He might struggle with it at first if we had known each other previous to my transition, but not out of malice or negligence, and once he got on track he'd stay there for life.

Leslie Higgins: 11/10. He's a jazz musician with ten thousand gen Z children. He knows at least as many trans people already as any natural member of the queer community.

The Rest of The Lads: 11/10. We all know this to be true. Next.

Georgie Tartt: 11/10. Have you seen her son. She's prepared for this.

Sharon Fieldstone: 11/10. Have you seen her do her job. She's good at it.

Dottie Lasso: 9/10. Her heart's in the right place and that matters! She is inescapably Midwestern in both the good ways and the bad ways, though.

Jake: 8/10. Have you seen him do his job. He's bad at it.

Rupert Mannion: 6/10. He's a trans inclusive misogynist lmao. He also will treat correct pronoun usage as a privilege if he gets butthurt enough.

James Tartt: 3/10. He'd respect a trans man who performed masculinity to his standards, but he is definitely afraid of girlymen and women who are better than him (most women).

#jack facts #ted lasso #hc #i do vague sir but i do not vague at you sir #also yes i do know beard and bumbercatch's first names but i thought this was funnier

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ladykailitha · 1 year

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Can Anybody See Me? Part 15

As much as I love the CC boys and all their friends it was time to show life outside them for a second. And Steve got his bitch back.

TW: for homophobic language (rando OC)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

Steve drove to school feeling lighter than he had in weeks. His parents were still shit but he had friends and people who would look out for him and wasn’t that just a surprise and a half.

He pulled into the parking lot and got out, Eddie pulling into the spot next to him. He had closed the door, pulling his backpack over one shoulder when Nancy and Jonathan appeared out of nowhere.

Eddie raised an eyebrow at him.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Steve said with a small smile. “I’ve got this. I’ll see you at lunch, okay.”

Eddie nodded and walked to class.

Steve turned back to see Nancy and Jonathan staring at him in shock. “How can I help you two?”

“Is everything okay?” she asked. “You’ve been missing a lot of school.”

Steve raised both eyebrows.

“We’re worried about you, man,” Jonathan said. “Especially after what happened with Miss Chen and your assignment.”

Steve sighed. He wanted to be mad at them but he couldn’t. They were worried he might be thrown in jail.

“That was straight up bullshit, by the way,” he growled. “I wasn’t going to show an actual demogorgon or make the characters even look like us. It was just a way to process the trauma. Because I don’t know about you two, but I can’t sleep at night. If it’s not waking up screaming, it’s not being able to go to sleep at all.”

Nancy and Jonathan shared a glance.

Jonathan sighed. “Yeah. It’s got be worse for you because Nancy has Mike and I have both my mom and Will...and well it’s pretty bad for him, too. But you’re all alone in that big house and you’re parents don’t know.” He made an aborted gesture of understanding.

“So we just wanted to check up on you,” Nancy explained, hugging her books to her chest.

Steve ran his hands over his face. “I’m just trying to move on. Make friends that aren’t bullies. That’s not to say you guys are or whatever. It’s just...I don’t want to be on high alert the rest of my life. I’m happy for the first in so long.”

Jonathan licked his lower lip slowly. “You don’t have to answer, but are you with Eddie?”

Steve’s head reared back. “What? How did you–”

He smiled softly, clapping him on the shoulder. “Good for you, man.”

Nancy just looked between them confused.

Jonathan kissed the top of her head. “I’ll explain later. We’ve got to get to class.” He waved at Steve. “See you around, man.” And led her into the school.

Well, shit.

Steve didn’t know how he felt about them knowing before Jeff and Gareth and the rest. But it was out of the bag now. And despite everything he’d been through with Jonathan he knew he wouldn’t tell anyone.

He sighed and made his way to the swimming pool to start morning practice.

Steve sat at the edge of the pool in his Speedo, just kicking his feet. Coach Hall came over.

“Hey, Harrington,” he said, crouching down. “Got word from Doc Martinez. You’re cleared for competition. He says your scans look good and as long as you don’t have a headache day of, you’re good to go.”

Steve grinned. “That’s great news, Coach. Do you think I could add butterfly back in or should stick to relay?”

Coach Hall smiled fondly. “Well, I know I would prefer my best butterfly swimmer back in, but...”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, yeah, I get it.”

Coach Hall patted his shoulder and he slipped into the pool. Ezra immediately swam over to meet him.

“Hey, what did Coach say?”

Steve told him and Ezra grinned. “Hell, yeah. It’s good to see you back, man. It was lonely without you.”

Steve laughed, pushing him away. “Get off, you loon.”

Ezra laughed with him and swam back to the other side of the pool. Steve pulled his goggles down over his eyes and dove beneath the water. Instantly the buzzing sounds inside his head calmed and he felt at peace.

This was where he belonged. He liked basketball, he was good at it. Baseball was fine, but he spent most of the game being bored. But this? This was bliss. Just him and the water.

He surfaced, taking a large breath. He heard the coach’s whistle and came over to the side with everyone else. He listened to the instructions and nodded.

Suddenly it was time to go wash up and change. He eyed the girls as they passed each other. The girls were coming in as the boys were leaving. All the girls were twittering and point at the guys as the guys leered back in turn. Steve didn’t feel the surge of attraction he did when he thought of Eddie up on that stage last night. There was no swooping of his belly, no heat further down.

Oh.

Well, that was certainly something he hadn’t really considered. He had been expecting some kind of attraction. He had had sex with only girls, he had only been on dates with girls. But now that he had something to compare the feelings to...

It was heartbreakingly obvious that he was gay.

Shit.

Steve fretted over showering with the guys. But when he got there he realized that he automatically self-corrected and didn’t look. He never had. It had been a habit. One that he did even with the knowledge he was attracted to boys.

Huh.

That was quite the revelation.

Steve barely made it through his next two classes because he wanted to see Eddie so bad.

He grabbed his lunch and went to go sit down went got bumped into by one of his old baseball teammates.

He managed to hold on to the tray, but he growled, “Watch it, man.”

The boy looked him up and down. “I see you hang with the Freaks now, Harrington. You take it up the ass now, too?”

Steve eyes raked over him. “Why? You looking for a turn?”

The boy pushed him. “I’m not a fag like you, freak!”

Steve sighed. He could feel almost every eye in the cafeteria on them. “Look,” he said, gripping the edges of the tray. “Doesn’t it get exhausting trying to prove something to these assholes?” He waved at their captive audience. “They don’t care about you or me. In six months, they won’t even remember our names.”

“Just because people have forgotten you, Harrington,” the boy growled, “doesn’t mean they’ll forget me, asshole.”

Steve laughed. “I think between the two of us, they’re more likely to forget you then me.” He leaned forward. “You want to know why? Because you haven’t forgotten me, dude. So what does that say about the rest of them?”

The kid sneered and stalked off.

Steve shook his head and then continued his trek to Eddie’s table. He sat down to eat, but after a moment he realized that they were all staring at him, wide-eyed and in shock.

“What?”

“Dude!” Jeff said, sitting back.

Brian nodded. “That was the most brutal verbal take down I’ve seen in a long time, man.”

“It was sick!” Gareth said gleefully.

Eddie stared at him, doe-eyed and fond. “I love you.”

The other three laughed.

Steve grinned back. “I know, I love you, too.”

Jeff, Brian, and Gareth all looked at each other, sharing shocked by happy faces.

“Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit!” Gareth said, bouncing almost out of his chair.

“When did you guys get together?” Jeff hissed, leaning forward so they weren’t overheard.

Eddie blushed. “This morning.” He ducked his head, shyly.

“Boom-chicka-wow-wow,” Brian teased. “Don’t think we didn’t notice that Eddie here was wearing Steve-o’s clothes.”

“Guys...” Steve protested, “it wasn’t like that. My parents came home and my dad was being he’s usual ass-self and Eddie stayed over to make sure I was okay.”

Jeff sighed. “Damn. Can’t tease you about that one.”

“But we can still tease you,” Gareth said with a grin, “about Eddie wearing designer jeans without a single rip or tear.”

Eddie looked down at his pants and cursed. “Shit. I didn’t think about that.”

“Ah yes,” Steve said dreamily. “Eddie’s aesthetic. Wouldn’t want to destroy that carefully maintained image.”

“Shut it, Harrington,” Eddie grumbled.

Steve laughed out loud. “I know it’s almost the end of the day or whatever,” he said digging into his backpack. “But you can use this to distress them.” He handed over a couple of sheets of sandpaper.

“Why do you have sandpaper in your backpack, dude?” Jeff asked.

“It’s for my art class,” Steve explained. “We have these little paper sticks we use to help with shading called smudge sticks and the only way to clean them is to rub them over sandpaper. Here, let me show you.”

He got out his drawing pad and a smudge stick, flipping to a drawing he was still working on. He began working the stick over the harsh pencil lines, smoothing them down.

‘That’s so cool,” Gareth said, leaning closer.

Steve held up the stick. “See how dirty it got?” Everyone nodded. And then Steve grabbed the sandpaper and rubbed the stick over it, making sure to turn the stick so he got all the sides. “Tada!”

“Huh,” Eddie said, “that is neat.”

Steve shrugged. “Yeah, well. So there you go, you have something to make the jeans more you.”

Eddie stared at him starry-eyed. “You are an absolute wonder, Steve Harrington.”

Steve just blushed and shook his head.

Steve got called to the office in his drama class saying that his mother was on the phone.

He sighed and reassured everyone that everything was fine. That she had promised to call and that’s all this was.

He didn’t tell them that the reason she was calling while Steve was in class is because she was in her layover in Paris, France.

He walked into the office and the secretary left him alone. Not because of who he was, but because of who his mother was.

“Hey, Mom,” Steve greeted.

“I’m sorry to pull out of class, love,” Mrs Harrington replied. “But our flight to France was delayed but our flight out of France was bumped up an hour and we only have forty minutes between flights now.”

He sighed. “That sucks. Were you able to get your luggage, okay?”

“We were, thank you, Steven,” she murmured. “I wanted to apologize for your father last night. You know how shouty he gets when he starts drinking. He never means the things he says.”

Steve closed his eyes. He thought that’s what this conversation was going to be about. What all their conversations were about. Nadia Harrington apologizing for whatever dickish thing her husband had done. It was one of the reasons his mother was so respected in town.

Dad would come tearing through making his mark, making himself the center of attention and then Mom would come behind and smooth away bad feelings.

“It’s okay, Mom,” he assured her. “I know what he’s like. But I really can’t quit drama. Or I won’t graduate.”

She sighed. “I know, dear. And I know you’re only doing your best. But he just has such high hopes for you. To start working his accounting firm, to follow in his footsteps.”

Steve swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I’m just not good with numbers like he is.”

Mrs Harrington hummed. “We’ll figure something out, Steven.”

“We always do, Mom,” he agreed.

“I love you so, much,” she murmured. “But your father is giving me the stink eye.”

“Bye, Mom.”

Steve hung up the phone and sighed deeply into his hands. The secretary came out and smiled at him.

“It’s so nice of her to call you to check up on you,” she said cheerfully.

Steve stared at her blankly. There was no asking how he was. What he was doing. Who his new friends were. Just excuses for his dad. He forced a smile in return and then left to go back to class.

Nothing quite like a conversation with your mother to ruin your day, he sighed as he settled back into his group.

Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21

Tag List: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites @garden-of-gay @anaibis @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @jinxjinn @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @dangdirtydemons @lovelyscot @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread estrellami-1

#My writing #stranger things #steddie #canon divergence #the boy with the bat #ladykailtiha writes

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