#Trademark Favourite Food (trope)

[scruffyplayssonic]

Are the ArchieSonic comics actually an 80's/90's syndicated cartoon? Episode 57: Can't eat favourite food

Welcome back to my look at the ArchieSonic comic series, and how it shared a lot of the same story tropes as a typical ‘80s or ‘90s syndicated cartoon! We’re getting close to the end of the series now, so what classic cartoon trope are we looking at today?

Episode 57: Can't eat favourite food 

Ahh, okay. I feel like this one’s a little less common in mainstream media, to be honest. When it does show up, it’s often used to signal to either the audience or the other characters that there’s something seriously wrong with that character. They could be sick, or under the effects of a curse or spell, or could even be a villain disguised as the main character.

That being said, I can think of two instances when Sonic couldn’t stomach the idea of eating his trademark favourite food (and one instance when everyone else couldn’t stomach it either), and none of them were used to hint that there was something wrong with Sonic. In fact, our first instance went in the exact opposite direction. That would be when Sonic and Tails wound up in Sandblast City in issues #62 and 63. I’ll be covering this one in a bit more detail in an upcoming episode, but the long story short is that Sonic and Tails found themselves in a city full of people who idolised Sonic for defeating Robotnik, and were hoping to trick him into staying with them full time to fight the constant robot attacks on their city. How did they go about trying to convince Sonic to stay?

By pampering him with around the clock massages and chilli dogs, of course!

At first Sonic seemed thrilled at all the attention he was getting, while Tails was eager to just leave Sandblast City and get back to their mission of hunting down the evil wizard Ixis Naugus. However at some point Sonic realised that he was being played, but kept up the charade so that the Sandblasters wouldn’t figure out that he was on to them. 

When even Sonic the Hedgehog thinks he’s had too many chilli dogs, that’s when you know you’ve crossed a line.

An earlier instance of Sonic not being able to stomach the idea of eating chilli dogs happened way back in issue #11.

This extremely trippy story once again saw Sonic gorge himself on too many chilli dogs, and this time it caused him to have a bad dream.

Like, really bad.

When Sonic awoke he solemnly vowed to eat more responsibly.

…that vow lasted all of thirty seconds. xD

I’m reluctant to bring up this last story again, but I wouldn’t be doing my job if I didn’t. You may remember in a previous episode that I discussed how Sonic #33 is an issue that lives in infamy, and its plot kicks off once again because of chilli dogs.

Yup, the Freedom Fighters were so sick of chilli dogs that they fell for the most obvious trap ever. Seriously, Team Rocket had traps that were more subtle, and the Freedom Fighters still fell for this. That said, I would like to acknowledge that this comic was decades ahead of its time, showing both the importance of wearing masks to help prevent spreading disease (although Rotor really ought to be wearing a mask too) and the dangers of ordering from fast food delivery companies like Doordash and Uber Eats. 😛

Now if Tails or Rotor had been spared from the French Fryrus, they probably would have gotten to work trying to synthesise a vaccine. Sonic isn’t really brainy enough to do that, so he settled for the next best thing:

Yup, shrinking himself down to a size small enough to run down Rotor’s throat and try to punch the virus into submission. And it was here that he met…

…I can’t. I can’t with this stupid issue, I just can’t. 😛 The puns by themselves are bad enough, but the idea of all the Freedom Fighters’ immune systems being sentient creatures who just couldn’t be bothered fighting this disease annoys me.

Anyway, Sonic was able to fight off the grunts easily enough, but struggled a bit more when he got to the boss fights, Paris-site (sigh) and Fever.

Fortunately for him, Rotor’s (SIGH) Auntie Bodies was inspired to take up the fight again.

She also called her counterparts in the other Freedom Fighters and told them to get off their lazy butts and do their jobs too.

So in the end the day was saved, and Sonic gave everyone the perfect food for when you’re sick:

Well, close enough.

Were there any other instances of Sonic or other characters in ArchieSonic not being able to eat their favourite foods? Remind me of any that I missed in the comments! The next episode I'll be looking at is one that arguably fits the entire Sonic franchise: “We have to save the environment, and so do you!” See you then!

[gemwing1988]

The Cuphead Show: Dreamstones Edition - Cuphead TV Tropes

Adaptational Nice Guy: Thanks to the Dreamstones being his moral compass in the fanfic adaptation, Cuphead mellows down. And it certainly helps that some of his much more unsavoury behaviour such as “Lost in the Woods” are adapted out.

Allergic to Love: Being just 10 years old, Cuphead is easily grossed out by anything romantic related, deeming it all “mushy stuff”.

Be Careful What You Wish For:

Big Brother Instinct: Despite his flaws and moments where he can be a bit selfish, he does care for his brother and values him as a best friend. His greatest example is joining Katie to venture to the Underworld to rescue a kidnapped Mugman, Kaichi, Lexie and Natty.

Big Brother Worship: He views the Dreamstones and their boyfriends as older siblings.

Fearless Fool: After realizing he was in possession of the Devil’s pitchfork after he accidentally zapped him two times with it, Cuphead thought it was a good idea to repeatedly zap him a dozen times just For the Funnyz. And he also thought it would be just as funny as to prank the Devil under falsely promising to return the pitchfork and not zapping him after the Devil had accidentally revealed that Cuphead’s soul debt had long expired.

Hidden Heart of Gold: Despite his Adaptational Nice Guy treatement, he still has his selfish moments at times. On the other hand, he does display showing he’s a good kid deep down when his sweeter side shines through.

My God, What Have I Done?!: He is greatly devastated when the Devil kidnapped Mugman, Kaichi, Lexie and Natty in an act or retaliation and spite at the end of the adaptation of “The Devil’s Pitchfork”.

Security Cling: In the adaption of “Sweater Luck Next Time”, he leaps away from the Devil, who had poofed up behind him, extremely mad, and clings onto Lexie’s leg in terror.

Sweet Tooth:

Tempting Fate:

Trademark Favourite Food:

[pony-central]

Mega List of TV Tropes That Apply to The Three Main PonyCentral's (excluding the actual one)

Sick PonyCentral

Badass Adorable - Because Sick PonyCentral is a nice person, and she's even more adorable when in her human form, she can pack a serious punch against the forces of evil

Always Someone Better - she's this to Purity Senpai, who she always beats up whenever he insults her

Ambiguously Human - turns into her human form whenever she's facing evils greater than a simple flooding situation

Ax-Crazy - Sick PonyCentral becomes unstable if she's pissed off enough, to the point where she can destroy a ceiling with her magic

Berserk Button - Purity Senpai is a massive Berserk Button for her. She even beat him to a pulp once and got away with it

Beware the Nice Ones - she's a nice girl, but don't get on her bad side

Prone to Tears - she can be prone to crying every now and then

Your Makeup is Running - whenever she's crying, her mascara spills down her face

A Day in the Limelight - Sick PonyCentral's Alone Time was one for her

Everyone Has Standards - she will not allow anyone to say the C word around her. And she will not allow anyone to beg for Sick Boyfriend to have their way with him

Freak Out - whenever Lila Sky or Layla Miller are invading Parodies Town, Sick PonyCentral undergoes a panic attack, usually turning into her human form midway

Innocent Blue Eyes - she does have blue eyes and is mostly innocent

Prone to Vomiting - only if she eats too much candy

Let's Get Dangerous - whenever she's furious enough to destroy ceilings, her hiccups also qualify, as they sometimes set things ablaze

Gasshole - when left alone anyway. In the comic "Sick PonyCentral's Alone Time", Sick PonyCentral spent most of the comic farting up a storm. She eventually stopped after telling Sick Patrick about it. She also held the record for the longest burp in her school at a charity event. She also sports some fire-based flatulence whenever she consumes spicy food

Sensitive Guy and Manly Man - the SG to Sick Patrick's MM

Series Mascot - one of the mascots of her creators blog, even being on the profile picture

Trademark Favourite Food - she loves McDonald's

Colour Coded - she's mostly purple, with some grey elements added

Catchphrase - "It's the perfect plan!" and "HE CALLED ME SICKLY KAYLEIGH! *crying hysterically*"

Suckiness is Painful - Sick PonyCentral singing rock and roll songs is enough to set an entire stadium on fire, including sending several people to the hospital

Cordon Bleurgh Chef - her attempt at making a pizza

Naughty PonyCentral

Prone to Tears - as seen in Love at First Bite, she is easily moved to tears at the slightest thing. Most notably in the sequel

Interspecies Romance - with Nathan Files

Colour Coded - she's purple with some blue elements

Prone to Vomiting - whenever she's pregnant or if she's drinking too much wine

Barbie Doll Anatomy - heavily subverted in LAFB

A Day in the Limelight - Love at First Bite First Instalment and The Sequel as well, all focused on Nathan and Naughty PonyCentral's love life

Art Evolution - she used to look different. Her hair used to be curled, and she also wore shoes and a pink shirt

Gasshole - Naughty PonyCentral is capable of farting on command. Just ask her to do just that, and she will comply

Catchphrase - doesn't have one yet

Everyone Has Standards - lay a finger on Nathan, and she will kill you

Berserk Button - anyone who tells her that her and Nathan are a zoo ship will be killed instantly

Freaky Friday Flip - she once swapped bodies with Nathan in ShipTober

Does Not Like Spam - she hates anyone who disapproves of her and Nathan getting together

Born in an Elevator - she gave birth to a healthy baby girl in a bathtub that was full of water. It was a miracle that the baby survived

Screaming Birth - whenever she gives birth to a baby, as this has happened three times

GasCentral

Gasshole - take a guess as to why

Does Not Like Spam - she hates being called Gyatt, even scolding a random Anon for saying it about her

[coffee-n-ocs]

Exosis (Music OCs): Cherry McManus (2014)

The daughter of Angelita McManus-Bull and Mason Winter, Cherry is her mother's pride and joy, even if her looks and personality favour her dead-beat father, Often dressed in pink and white, Cherry is friendly, honest and forever innocent in her mother's eyes.

"I don't want my mother to be lonely forever, Uncle Duke."

Name

Full Legal Name: Ember Cherry Fawn McManus-Bull First Name: Ember Meaning: From the English word 'Ember', ultimately from Old English 'Æmerge' Pronunciation: EHM-ber Origin: English Middle Name(s): Cherry, Fawn Meaning(s): Cherry: Simply means 'Cherry' from the name of the Fruit. Fawn: From the English word 'Fawn' for a young deer Pronunciation: CHEHR-ee, FAWN Origin: English. English Surname(s): McManus, Bull Meaning(s): McManus: Anglicized form of Irish 'Mac Maghnuis’ meaning 'Son of Mághnus’, the Irish form of 'Magnus’, a Late Latin name meaning 'Great’ Bull: From a nickname for a person who acted like a bull Pronunciation: mac-MAN-us, BUWL Origin: Irish. English Aliases: Ember McManus, Cherry McManus, Fawn McManus, Ember Bull, Cherry Bull, Fawn Bull Nicknames: Emi, Cher Titles: Miss

Characteristics

Age: 13 Gender: Female. She/Her Pronouns Race: Human Nationality: Dual Nationality, American & English Ethnicity: Mixed White & Black 1/2 Jamaican - 1/4 American (White) - 1/4 English (White) Birth Date: 14th January 2001 Sexuality: [Data Redacted] Religion: Non-Religious Native Language: English Spoken Languages: English, (Some) Spanish, (Some) French Relationship Status: Single Astrological Sign: Capricorn Face Claim: Nico Parker

Geographical Characteristics

Birthplace: Aintree, Liverpool, England, UK Current Location: 'On Tour'

Appearance

Height: 5'2" / 157 cm Weight: 99 lbs / 45 kg Eye Colour: Brown Hair Colour: Brown Hair Dye: 2 Pink streaks, usually framing her face Body Hair: N/A Facial Hair: N/A Tattoos: None (yet) Scars: None Clothing Style: Mainly Pink & white, geeky, graphic T-shirts, necklaces & bracelets, occasionally borrows her mother's makeup

Health and Fitness

Allergies: None Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Clean Illnesses/Disorders: Autism Medications: None Any Specific Diet: None (just like her mother, she eats a lot of junk food)

Relationships

Affiliated Groups: Exosis Friends: Lita McManus, Duke McManus Enemies: None Noted Yet: Mentor: Lita McManus Significant Other: None Previous Partners: None Parents: Angelita McManus (33, Mother), Mason Winter (34, Father) Parents-In-Law: None Nieces & Nephews: None Children: None Children-In-Law: None Grandkids: None Other Notable Relatives: None

Notes

Occupation: Student Tropes: (These are purely theoretical for how I would write her)

Beautiful Singing Voice: Yet doesn't like using it in public

Cheerful Child: Hardly ever in a bad mood, unless she's feeling rebellious

Colour-Coded For Your Convenience: usually dresses in pink & white

Girls Love Chocolate: Inherited her mother's sweet tooth

Hates Wearing Dresses: Unlike her mother, who doesn't mind dresses

Trademark Favourite Food: Waffles & Milkshakes

-Design to come in a group pic-

[inspectorspacetimerevisited]

If there ever comes a day when the Inspector doesn’t enjoy a good cuppa,

the programme will basically be done for.

[worstloki]

Top Forty Thor-Being-Thor Moments from Thor 1

just absolute dumb*ssery that this 7yr old kid’s life goal is to “hunt down the monsters and slay them all”. I’ll go easy on him here and let the Thor/Loki expressions do the talking because of “...just like you did Father” but seriously can his hands even fit around a sword handle??? this kid isn’t even punching the air right??? if there was a sword in his hand he would’ve cut his head with the way he’s moving???? pure tiny-himbo energy here just look at that >:o face he’s making. contrasts very nicely with Loki’s ‘,:|. 10/10. such a baby idiot.

“the jotuns must pay for what they have done! they broke into the weapons vault! if the frost giants had stolen even one of these relics!” thor. thor please. can you even name one of these relics. thor. hey thor. thor. shut up. “well, what would you do about this?” odin asks him. “march into jotunheim! like you once did! break their spirits! so they’ll never try anything like this again!” wow okay so we’ve fast-forwarded by like a thousand years and thor is still going on about genocide. huh. that’s funny, i thought loki was the genocidal one. hmm. i also just realized that the loki exclusive clip gives loki the same hairstyle thor has here so do what you will with that information.

0/10. horrible. terrible. i dont care how angy thor is about not getting to kill some jotuns or become king today this very instant, that is a tremendous waste of food. an absolute fool. how can he just remorselessly throw the bread to the floor. if loki stabbed him when he was 7 he would deserve it for this table flip alone. what a privileged white *ssh*le.

loki came skulking around a corner and suggested not to go to jotunheim and not only did thor not suspect anything but he also then went on to decide to go to jotunheim. 10/10 himbo material. 

if tumblr didn’t have a picture limit i would put every instance of thor smiling in this list because look at that stupid smile. he’s such an idiot. 11/10. this is the thor content i’m here for.

“I have no plans to die today” thor says with the stupidest open-mouthed smirking smile ever captured on film. right after he also told heimdall not to tell anyone they’re gone. he’s literally planned to strand them on jotunheim. thor’s grand plan was to strange themselves on jotunheim and also start a fight. i repeat: thor’s plan was to successfully slay all the frost giants and not need to return until they’re all gone. what an absolute d*mb*ss. this is getting ridiculous. this was originally a top-ten-thor moments list but i’m not even twenty minutes in so i’ll have to extend the list. thor. thor are you listening? thor, you’re such an idiot.

“HOW DID YOUR PEOPLE GET INTO ASGARD?!” thor you sweet sweet summer idiot, please, i am beggin,g you,, learn to rea,d , a room,, literally everyone else who came with you is regretting it, there is complete silence and only the rumble of the opposing king is meeting your “I AM THOR, SON OF ODIN”s, please, please take some notes from Loki, or, you know, literally anyone else in the room, since everyone is asking you to get out of this realm while you still can,

thor’s stupid smile makes an appearance after he gets called a princess and decides to fight a whole realm over it. you know what? thor is a princess. he’s the prettiest princess in all the lands. what’s thor gonna do about it? is he going to fight me too? I hope he does the stupid grin first. minus 15 points for the sexism. thor is a complete and utter sadistic fool who needs to get a hobby. seriously, he’s 1500 years old and still going on and on about slaying all the frost giants. boi, i hate to break it to you, but your dad is not the best or only example of greatness out there. i don’t think your dad even qualifies as an example of that. 

“THEN. GO!” 🥰 ahh yes, just thor thingz 🥰🥰 like when one friend has had his arm burnt 🥰 and another friend has been impaled and needs medical attention, 🥰🥰 and all the rest of your friends are yelling for you, 🥰 and your brother is telling you they must go, 🥰 and you decide to buy everyone time by laughing maniacally and killing more frosties because you care for them and dont find joy in destruction like a loon 🥰🥰🥰 

THIS is the iconic Thor moment that makes my day whenever I think about it. Just Thor, an absolute bumbering 6′6′’ giant boodlusting dummy sees Odin and just decides to yell “FATHAA!! WE’LL FINISH THEM TOGETHAAA!” as if the last thing Odin told him wasn’t “no, thor, we’re not going to do anything to the frost giants, do not go after them and try to kill them all.” 11/10 d*mb*assery right here folks, I couldn’t ask for Thor to be more of a fool. This is PEAK Thor energy. Look at that face. I feel like Thor spends half this movie with his nostrils flared. I love it.

okay i gotta give thor credit for rightfully calling odin “an old man and a fool” but also there was not even 1 frame of the scene where Thor had a decent face so now all i see is >:O >:| >:o >:[ when i watch that scene. yelling at odin was great, not yelling at odin after he HUAERGHed at loki was less great, but to be fair it’s thor and he is the definition of Peak D*mb*ss. 

thor literally GROWLS and starts yelling “HAMMAA?? HAMMER??” over and over. He was hit by a van, he fainted, he woke up and started growling. I don’t know what else there is to say about this.

“you dare threaten me? puny human?”. so. uhh. basically. Thor knew she was threatening him? He KNEW she had a weapon? instead he made a face and started yelling as he tried to walk his way closer????? thor you complete and utter dum dum. you frickin hairball-for-brains. im not even surprised darcy tasered him. with that kind of face, i’d taser him too.

when you wake up in an unknown place to a person smiling at you without a stupid smile, the first step is always to attack first and ask questions later 😌😌😌 (but seriously thor you imbecile why didn’t you ask where you were instead of throwing multiple people around the room and getting your butt needled. you clueless buffoon. you’ll remain a clueless buffoon if you don’t listen to anyone.)

just a quick recap but thor was knocked unconscious by a van and these people kidnapped him aboard and the next scene we see him in he’s checking himself out in  mirror after presumably changing right there in the open?????? these are the things that make thor thor. any other character and i’d question it so much, but this is thor, and i truly believe this is in-character for him. just change in the open because why not? thor is a beefcake and that’s his only redeeming quality and he knows it. 10/10 thor moment. 

I am now convinced that Thor saw Jane and “5k van-hitter to lover slow-burn height-difference himbo-scientist trope” flashed through his mind.

“but no more smashing!” Jane says, and then Thor proceeds to check her out and smile unlike an idiot and like a douche. was this his version of flirting???? i’m not one to decide, but yes, yes it was. He threw a cup to the ground and broke it, and she’s getting mad at him and berating him about it, and he’s liking it. y’all i’m sorry to break it to you like this, but thor has a canon fetish. i am so, so sorry.

im DYING. THAT ISN’T EVEN A KISS, HIS MOUTH IS OPEN. he SMUSHES his mouth around her knuckle???? WHY. I can’t keep noticing things like this. send help. please. Jane’s response makes so much more sense now; she’s laughs for a solid 3 seconds and shakes her head and is like “uhh, thank you? ahaha,” and then she keeps looking back longingly when walking away. they are doing this in PLAIN sight of EVERYONE. Darcy and Erik are standing RIGHT THERE, and Thor is doing weird things to her with his mouth. I’m out. I am done here. goodbye. 

return of the stupid smile AND the douche smile in quick succession through the entire trip. their entire dialogue is peppered with innuendo. “I’ve never done anything like this before. have you ever done anything like this before?” “many times, but you are brave to do it.” “I have nothing else to lose.” “ah but you are clever, far more clever than anyone else on this realm.” “realm? rEaLm?” “you think me strange?” “yes” “good strange or bad strange?” “I haven’t decided yet.” I AM DYING OVER THIS. plus, we get Return Of The Himbo with Jane asking after Einstein Rosen bridges and Thor is like “uh, actually, more like a rainbow bridge 😜🤪” i feel so sorry for jane here, didn’t know how much of a d*mb*ss Thor was when signing up for this van-trip and knuckle-sucking 😭😭😭 i also no longer have questions about how the trip that SHOULD HAVE BEEN A HALF-HOUR ONE turned into one that LASTED TILL THE SUN WENT FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE SKY TO SETTING by the time they arrived. I have no questions. please. I don’t want to know what they were doing in that van. please no. don’t make me think about it.

thor’s plan had 3 steps and they were 1. give jane his jacket 2. walk in and get his hammer 3. fly out. that was literally his plan. he had the first “I have a plan. attack.” moment in the MCU. pure concentrated 0-brain-cells energy right here. how can you not stan this king of d*mb*ssery. look at him, flaunting his big boy muscles. he’s about get his hammer and fly out, like he just told jane with a trademark stupid-smile.

crop-top hair-mop thor is my favourite thor. the way the entire fight scene parallels a hamster in a maze only exemplifies the thor vibes for some inexplicable reason.

“you’re big. fought bigger.” + Thor douche-smile + subtext from earlier + rolling around passionately in the mud = not a happy me. 

I swear i’m not making up this romantic subtext but it’s barely even subtext. the entire scene leading up to Thor’s attempt at lifting the hammer is actually filmed erotically. I’m not kidding. First there’s a shot where Thor pulls aside a hamster-cage-wall blind which mirrors a shower-curtain, and THEN he walks around the hammer while smiling douche-ly at it, we get a few close-ups to his face which are shot from angles slightly lower than himself, giving him an aire of superiority, plus the music adds to this, he reaches out for the hammer’s handle with a mud-covered arm in the rain, in non-slow-motion slow-motion, and he wraps his arm around it, like, he fully twists his arm, unecessarily sexually, around it as he grabs the hammer. This is not okay. On the plus side, it makes the movie much more entertaining,, on the down side,,.

im not going to call Thor dumb for not knowing he’s not worthy. im not going to. because odin literally whispered the enchantment to mjolnir after he’d thrown thor to midgard. it is very funny watching thor grunt in frustration though. he starts yelling because he couldn’t lift the hammer and just lets himself get caught. like, dude, get a life, go buy a new weapon from the store, seriously. he mourns for the hammer on-screen longer than he does for loki. he also looks like he’s in far more pain here. he becomes catatonic and unresponsive after this, but when loki dies he’s already feasting the same afternoon. 10/10 dum dum thor material. never change thor, never change. (that’s code for please change, thor, please,)

thor trying to establish dominance wherever he goes is the funniest thing because at this point he’s being a complete asgardian *ss about it and it’s reaching points of pettiness never seen before. side note: he is possibly flirting with selvig too. maybe. i’m not saying anything happened, but Thor’s openning lines when bringing him home carried over his shoulder are “he’s fine, not injured at all,” followed with an apology to selvig, and an explanation to jane which consisted only of “we drank, we fought, he made his ancestors proud,” and then he puts the man to bed and before he falls asleep erik says “i still don’t believe you’re the g*d of th*nder, but you ought to be,” so... your choice, i guess...

thor’s got his trademark stupid smile and stupidly takes jane’s life’s work notebook and starts doodling in it about trees. the last time his father told him this story about Yggdrasil was when he was 5 and he clearly hasn’t payed attention to any lesson about anything since and it shows so so much. thank you thor. very insightful knowledge you’re passing on hear. ‘i come from a world where [science and magic] are one and the same,’ ok great, now elaborate on that please. oh, right, you can’t because you’re thor, my bad, 20/10 thor behaviour. he couldn’t even doodle nicely. all his lines are wobbly. epic art fail. i wouldn’t trust him near my sketchbook with a 2B pencil.

THIS is thor’s realization face. in case anyone was interested in what ‘dawning truth’ looked like on him. 😰😪 THIS is the face of a thinker, of a man betrayed by his own beloved brother for unprecedented reasons. look at the nuance in his expression. 😩😩😩 so many emotions, I can’t even count them all 😩💯😪

stupid smile and “do not worry my friends, i have a plan,” he says, “i’ll just try and abuse the fact that Loki’s super selfless and kind and has no self worth to my benefit as i have countless times before which is exactly what he’s rightfully angry about this time,” he doesn’t think to himself because that is NOT the smile of someone who is thinking... like, at all. +10000 points to gryffinthor. the d*mb*ssery really jumps out.

“im sorry bro for whatever i did and whatever you’re blaming me for as an excuse to do this, im sorry bro, but you’re disturbing innocents that i don’t really care about but you’re the one making a scene in front of them so why don’t you admit you won’t kill me and are just having a temper tantrum and we move on? hmm?” and then he proceeds to get slam dunked in the face with a metal arm like yEAAAA BOI that’s what you GET for going up against the SENTIENT LAVA-SPEWING metal-man ya absolute dunderhead clod. thunderhead clod? yeah, that. he’s just so dumb, your honour, please, you must understand, the victim pleads guilty on all charges of d*mb*ss and d*mb*ss alone.

I can NOT describe the emotions I feel knowing that Thor is suck-kissing Jane’s knuckles. Like, his mouth is literally jelly-ing it up against her hand. There is suction there and it shows when he is placing and removing his mouth. I promise that’s what is happening. I’m not any happier than you about this. I regret everything. This is why Loki should be what is focused on and not Thor; Thor’s going around trying to frick frack everything in sight even if it’s just Jane’s hand. He’s maintaining eye contact with Jane while he licks her fingers. Why did I decide to rewatch this movie. 

i’m only adding this in as a thor moment because of how desperately and badly they kiss. seriously. 2/10 kiss. im not surprised jane broke up with him. they look like two actual seals fighting over an actual grape. while i’m here i’m going to criticize every fic ever that decided thor is an experienced gentle lover. what were y’all on when watching this movie. thor can and will f*ck literally everything in sight and he won’t even do it well because he is the peakest of peak d*m d*m. look at this man. look at his face. that is the face of an absolute himbo idiot, and it’s the face of an absolute himbo idiot who knows it. he’s been stranded on earth for 2 days, max, and his flirt-count is at 69 people because his name is one letter away from thot. i bet his terrible use of a pen from early means he writes his ‘r’s like ‘t’s and he doesn’t even care. 1000/10 thor moment. doesn’t get much more romance-thor than two individuals smooshing their faces together after some finger sucking. that finger sucking is gonna leave jane simping for years. and that’s true love babey. <3

“I’ll handle my Brother!” Thor says, as if Loki didn’t send a metal-murder-bot that quite virtually killed him less than ten minutes ago asdfhkhsdgsdjf Thor, you horrific himbo you, Loki’s weapon of choice is literally throwing knives he will literally kill you before you enter the room if he’s on his game and wants you dead which he just proved he would do and you’re just gonna???????????? jog on over to him????? Thor??????????? bruH???????????? buddy??????? pal???????? you really wanna go 1v1 the brother you very clearly underestimate and know nothing about????????????????? im loving the confidence, but, no.

Loki: “you literally can’t stop this from here.” Thor, immediately: “i’m going to hit it with the hammer and see if that works” and then it does in fact work later... technically speaking, even if it ends up causing chaos destruction and death and loki falling off the bifrost 😔😔😔 but Big Brain Thor is the Biggest Brained Thor!!! The plan worked!! in a messy-Thor-ish way, but it did!!!

“you can’t kill an entire race!!!!” Thor yells, teeth gritted, as he faces his brother, his coward pacifist brother, who has suddenly decided he wants to join the age-old family tradition of realm-destroying, when this is supposed to be Thor’s dream, Thor’s, not Loki’s. How dare he, Thor thinks to himself, fist clenched around Mjolnir in anger, the pain of the handle pressing against his palm perhaps the only thing preventing him from lashing out at this thought, that’s my planet of monsters to slay, he should go get his own! Loki hits Thor across the face with the back-end of his spear. “Now fight me,” Loki says, but Thor, well, Thor cannot fight, as he remains stunned that of all things Loki would dare steal his life’s ambition, and he is sent sprawling backwards across the observatory, slowly but surely sliding to a stop despite his catatonic, very symbolic silence.

the elegance, the poise, i see your time on earth has made you no less graceful, Thor. the simple magnitude of this sprawl. the spread of the arms. the turn of the feet. this is not a dude, this is a man.

sometimes your brother starts vehemently talking about he’s gonna kill the race of monsters and about how he’s only ever wanted to be your equal and about how he’s not your brother and never was and sometimes you just have to say “this is madness” instead of addressing the issues or asking for any of the  deets 🔥 👊💯😩

Loki is whipping Thor’s butt. Both literally, and metaphorically, Loki is whooping Thor’s d*mb*ss. Earlier he knicked Thor’s face, now he’s just pushing Thor around, he uses the spear as a pole and later kicks Thor’s face by kicking vertically up, and Thor, bless him in all his blond golden muscled glory, doesn’t think anything is up with this, gosh he’s such an absolute utter idiot

sometimes your brother laughs way too much and also cries too much in a fight and there are also too many of him so you just need to blast lightning so you get a shot at all of them 😌😌😌 and then put your magical infinitely-heavy hammer on his chest 😌😌😌 but it’s okay because Thor left holes in Loki’s container 😌😌😌

now THIS is the meat to Thor’s funny bone, just the pure unadulterated humour that is Thor saying that there will never be a “wiser king” or a “better father” than Odin, it cracks me up every single time without fail, just the way he says it with a straight face and— what do you mean he wasn’t joking

look at Thor’s stupid smile as he asks Heimdall to spy on jane every single day while conveniently never asking after Loki ever. This is Thor’s face in mourning after he attended a feast after everyone was celebrating after Loki’s death. Look at his stupid smile. I love him your honour. He’s just,, he’s just so frickin stewpeed, just Thor being Thor, just the purest of d*mbest of *sses. 

[kakairu-rocks]

We are excited to introduce our next shining star for the Creator Spotlight…@vulcan-highblood!

This is a member’s only activity where we reach out to one of the talented people in our community each month to find out all about them and their kakairu creations, and then show them off to the world!

We hope you enjoy learning about Vulcan & her creations as much as we did. Please give them some love ❤️

Pronouns: Any (She/ Her, He/Him, They/Them)

Type of Creator: Writer

Where to find them:

AO3

Tumblr

Twitter

Read the exciting interview below the cut, or on the forum!

If you would like a chance to be in the spotlight too, the only thing you have to do is be a member of the kakairu rocks forum, and be a creator; and we will contact you, ourselves!

1. How long have you been creating KakaIru fanworks?

Not very long, surprisingly. I really got into KakaIru writing in 2020, though I had been reading kkir off and on since probably around 2015.

2. What are you working on right now?

Oh dear. Uh. So many WIPs. I have 6 (i think??) kkir WIPs on ao3 right now waiting for chapter updates (said chapters are all at varying stages of completion). I also have 3 WIPs in my documents that haven’t been posted yet. My personal favorites of what I haven’t posted yet are an “undercover operatives find out they’re soulmates during a one night stand” AU, and a kakairu twist to my established “Vampire Homeroom Teacher” AU where everything else about Naruto canon is basically the same except that Iruka’s a vampire. I’m also working on the sequel to my KakaIru BigBang fic, which involves lots of seals-master-Iruka shenanigans.

3. What is your favourite trope to create for?

Oh man I love Soulmate AUs, Arranged Marriage AUs, and Fake Dating AUs, but I’m also a sucker for “idiots in love” or “idiots to lovers”. Also I love writing scenes with food, and apparently that’s become something of a trademark for me. Not that I’m complaining.

4. Which of your creations is your favourite, and why?

Wow, making me choose between my beloved children?? How dare you. (haha) Honestly though, it’s very hard to choose. I really love the first KakaIru fic I ever wrote, a fake-dating fic called “You Belong With (someone better than) Me”. It sort of cemented my style as the fic author who can and WILL abuse the “food as a metaphor for love” tag on Ao3.

5. Do you have any WIPs you’re excited about?

I think that out of my current in-progress works, I’m most desperately in love with my fic “You Feel Like Home (and i dont know why)”. There’s something about the way it explores how softness and kindness can be found in the most dark and desperate of places that really gets to me. It’s also chock full of soft and doting domestic Kakashi, which is something I can apparently never get enough of. As far as fics that are NOT on Ao3 yet, the undercover-one-night-stand-soulmate-reveal-disaster fic is one of my favorites that I’ve been working on.

6. Do you have any original characters? If so, tell us about them!

I only really make original characters when they’re necessary to the plot. But! I love to try and use Kishimoto naming conventions by giving them extremely cringey pun names in Japanese, particularly if I think they’ll end up being recurring characters.

7. What was your hardest piece to create, and why?

Definitely my Enemies-to-Lovers BigBang piece, “Making Ends Meet”. First, because I had to figure out how to make Kakashi and Iruka at odds in the enemy stage, and then I had a terrible time trying to make Kakashi and Iruka NOT be enemies anymore.

I also discovered that I have a VERY DIFFICULT TIME writing mysteries that could potentially be solved by the readers while not actually making it so obvious that everyone sees it coming, but also not so opaque that the readers would have never seen the twist coming. Mysteries are SO hard. I think I ran myself ragged asking for advice and harassing my beta reader because I was terrified for a solid ¾ of the fic writing process. Give me some good old emotional drama and a few cooking scenes over actual mission work and intrigue any day.

8. Do you have any favourite scenes from something you’ve created?

OH YEAH YEAH BAYBEE, in a WIP on Ao3 called “Will You Stay The Night (or will you stay forever)?”, I do a Kakashi face reveal when Iruka and Kakashi decide to have an omegaverse equivalent of a one-night-stand (that of course catches feelings), and there’s this moment where Iruka demonstrates this unconditional acceptance of Kakashi and who he is and Kakashi cries a little bit (like 1 tear I think?? Its very small considering how emotionally fraught I feel every time I read it) and I think I cried a TON while writing that scene because the radical acceptance is just … its beautiful. I still get emotional thinking about it.

9. Where does your inspiration come from?

I think that a lot of my inspiration comes from the old adage “if you want to read something, sometimes you have to write it yourself”. I mostly write the stuff I want to read. I definitely read and enjoy my own works, I’m not one of those writers who can just release my creations into the world and never look at them again. I love what I write, I love to read, and I love writing the things that I love to read.

I also get inspiration from other writers, both in traditional publishing and in fanfiction. A lot of my own writing style is developed through the process of me seeing things in other writers’ works and going “I really like that, I want to see if I can accomplish something similar in my own writing”.

Writing is all about building a style that works for you, and seeing what works for other people and trying to apply it to your own works in your own way is part of the fun of the creative process. For me, lately, I’ve been working on giving more vivid and active descriptions. It’s still not where I want it to be, but I have plenty of WIPs to keep practicing on until I’m satisfied with my writing in that regard. Then it’ll be on to the next thing.

10. Which of your creations is the most meaningful to you, and why?

I think there are a lot of works that mean a lot to me, but in different ways. One of my favorite series of works that is less popular is my slow-burn romantic but not (yet?) sexual omegaverse series called “In Your Arms”, where both Kakashi and Iruka end up in situations that in most omegaverse fics would be the preface for some sort of dub- or non-con action but instead I wrote soft and comforting and a little bit awkward moments of companionship between the two of them. I really love that A/B/O can be whatever you want it to be, and that series is a great reminder to me that romances don’t need smut to bring me joy (though of course I have plenty of fics that DO bring the smut, and I enjoy them too, lol).

Another really important work was my first KakaIru fic “You Belong With (someone better than) Me”. It includes a lot of the things that I look for in a romance - the idea of care, compassion, patience, and acceptance being different faces of love is carried throughout it, the themes of stress, anxiety, depression, and being too close to yourself to really see yourself are all present throughout as well.

Those sorts of ideas really set the stage for how I write KakaIru in basically all my fics. So I think it was a really important fic for me, too. But in a more specific “this is how I’m going to be writing KakaIru” sort of way, though I don’t think I realized it at the time.

[vgriffindor]

aMusketeer Fanfic Master Post

Calling all Musketeers! We’re all in need of a serious dose of our favourites, amirite? I’ve seen a few queries floating around lately asking for some great Muskie fanfic recommendations. I thought I’d do 20 weekly posts, each with a different theme, and ask for your help! There are a ton of great Muskie fics out there, let’s help each other discover them.

How this works: For each theme, please give me your TOP recommendation. It can be a one-shot or multiple chapters, complete or still a WIP, your own or some one else’s, just shout about that one fic that fits the theme and you want people to READ! Reblog to spread the word, with your recommendation and tag me @vgriffindor, or DM your recommendation so that I can post it! I’ll keep each theme as a pinned post up/keep adding to it for the entire week.

Week #2: AUs

It sure is fun to place these four in a different world, and see how they react! Whether it’s the quiet heaven of a bookstore, the flirty, caffeinated vibes of a coffee shop, the perfume of a flower shop, the hard-bitten reality of a detective bureau, or just about anything else you can think of, the boys seem to handle whatever universe we throw at them with their trademark personalities and humour intact.

Midsomer Musketeers by Suzie_Shooter: Exactly what you think and want this to be, when you combine the Musketeers and Midsomer Murders. 

Fraternité et Égalité by BazinMousqueton: Clever, funny, sexy and gorgeously written modern AU in an architectural firm’s office. Slash, but not explicit, almost everyone is bi, and the whole thing is perfection.

(Below is all due to the hard work and enthusiastic response from @animanightmate! Thank you, you are awesome!)

E: yeah, you got me by cherryfeather - modern au graduation party oone-shot with a game of spin the bottle that gets angsty with forthcoming farewells and then very fulfilling indeed.

T: Chapter 10 of the collection of unrelated shorts (very short) His Smile Me Draws, His Frown Drives Me Away by akathecentimetre is entitled  In Goodly Colors Gloriously Arrayed and is a modern au where the lads are working for the Sûreté in Paris (though it’s never confirmed precisely as what) and it’s basically a series of three (the original Inseparables) character studies as they get used to being Responsible Adults. No filth... well, apart from Aramis’s feet...

G: Fancy is a very short modern au short by AnathemaDevice about the cats owned by (or owning) the various season three characters. Includes one of the most beautiful word-sketches of Sylvie I’ve yet read.

E: Mis Adventures by Doom Canary is an utterly filthy, modern British police au short featuring a trans male character that blew my mind in the best ways. If there’s a plot, I blinked and missed it.

T: born like a vapor by mellyflori is - and I can’t believe I’m typing this - a modern au where two of the Four are genies (yep, you read that correctly). It is utterly, unforgettably gorgeous, and just works. Angsty and charming, and has one of the most elegant solutions I’ve seen for “what happens with Constance?” The world-building is done so well it’s almost seamless, and I’m weak for that kind of thing.

T: Brand New Start is a short modern office au by potentiality_26 from Constance’s perspective and is melancholy, sweet, and vivid. OT3 but nothing graphic.

E: One in Ten Thousand by breathtaken is a novel-length modern soul bonds au that, as usual with her, subverts the trope and delves deep into the psyche of an intensely depressed Athos who was in no way prepared to meet his soulmate. It’s hard going at times, but utterly beautiful and very hot.

M: my heart upon my sleeve by cherryfeather is a novel-length modern Shakespearean actors au and I avoided it for ages because the synopsis was written in a deliberately tabloid style and I assumed the whole thing was like that. It is not - it is the most elegant, eloquent, literally tear-tugging bit of angst and mutual pining I’ve ever encountered, and takes in: hurt/comfort, Only One Bed, and friends-to-lovers tropes along the way. Basically, if they were a character in the first two seasons of the original, she finds a place for them in this gorgeous work.

E: The Humbling River (author unknown) is the only A/B/O fic that I will ever recommend, ever. This short is canon era, but I guess it still counts as au? I fell into it accidentally, but it was written so well that I didn’t care about the premise.

E: Une histoire de bleu by ceeturnalia is long. A 100k word modern day au where the lads are security specialists for a private firm in Paris. It is vividly stark and lushly compassionate in one go, and also explores a developing D/s relationship in great detail, so if that’s not your bag, that’s the main core of the story. And it’s handled so well that I have zero hesitation in recommending it, even though that in itself is not really my thing. It’s just so very, very good and, even at that length, still manages to be very tightly written.

M: Death in Waiting by Suzie_shooter is your actual 1920s country house murder mystery with all our favs (seasons 1 and 2 anyway) in a short-novel-length interbellum piece of Upstairs-Downstairs only of course there’s lots of forbidden sex all over the place, and a genuinely gasp-inducing (at least in me) set of reveals.

M: Still Waters by evilmaniclaugh is a modern office au with a twist. It’s porn with a plot (and a great deal of angst), and is startlingly hilarious in places (for good reasons, I promise).

M: Gentlemen of the Road by Suzie_shooter is a highwayman au set, from my vague enough understanding of the descriptions, about 100 years or so after the canon era. As usual for S_s, it’s Athos/Porthos pairing, from the perspective of Porthos, and I keep coming back to it, for the humour, the story, and the sex. Bonus points for Ninon and Rochefort showing up, and our brief glimpses of d’Artagnan being an utter little shit.

M: Mise en place by breathtaken is a short series featuring season 3 characters as chefs. And it’s stunningly beautiful, intimately told from a conflicted Constance’s perspective (something I’m utterly weak for) and I want there to be more because dammit - food and polyamory and found family and so many of my favourite things and I wish she was going to write more and aaaaah. Anyway, everyone is bi and kinky and I am so there for that...

I have so many of these, but I’m going to leave it here while I retain any shred of sanity or dignity, and finish by telling you about my own only (so far) modern au, entitled Summoned (rated M), set in modern-day Cambridge, UK, complete with references to Brexit and climate change, and a detailed depiction of the Fitzwilliam Museum. The MacGuffin is a museum anti-heist. Or is it reincarnation? Or music? Or synaesthesia? WHO KNOWS?! Anyway, it’s 75k+ words of conversations, misunderstandings, music, musings, museum architecture, poetry, stolen kisses, awkward flirting, and confusing flashbacks. There is one extended explicit sex scene and the rest is more along the lines of innuendo and a great deal of heated kissing. And I wrote it in about fives weeks and am rather proud of it, actually.

[headcanonsandmore]

Hi! I recently came back to being obsessed with Ron and Hermione (it just reminds me of being 12/13 and going to sleep at 3AM because I was reading Romione fanfiction and when life was better :) ). So I was wondering if you could give me some (a lot of) fluffy and warm and cute suggestions :) Thank you, I love your blog

Hello! Yes, of course; hope you like these!

Of Hearts and Heroes by Emmilyne. Ron and Hermione become far closer than either of them could ever have thought possible. Canon-divergent AU starting after the department of mysteries in fifth year. Rated  M for mature.

April Fool by A is for Amy. Six year one-shot. The other Gryffindors conspire to trick Ron and Hermione into admitting their feelings for one another. Rated K.

Mental by Penny in the sky. Gryffindor celebrates its Quidditch Cup victory. But while Harry's not there to ponder the influence of dimly lit rooms and Butterbeer, Ron and Hermione are. And they experience this influence first-hand. Set during ‘Half Blood-Prince’. Rated T.

Kiss of the Fire by Star.Flash.17. Romione one-shot set in the summer before book 7. Rated T.

The Last Summer by HurricaneRosie. Hermione struggles to control her feelings for Ron in the summer before the seventh book. Rated K+.

The For and Against List by Pinky Brown. Hermione tries to talk herself out of liking a particular boy (no prizes for guessing which one) the way teenage girls have been doing since time immemorial: she makes a For & Against List. Rated T.

In this Firelight by Oppugnorhr12. A missing moment from book 7 about how Ron and Hermione ended up falling asleep holding hands. Rated K.

Eye Flirting by RonaldandMione. Ginny convinces Hermione to try something to get Ron’s attention during their stay in Grimmauld Place before fifth year. K+.

Not Just Handsome by HPLives. Hermione gets confused over her feelings for Ron after she overhears the other Gryffindor girls rating their male classmates by attractiveness. Rated T.

Seven Simple Years by HalfaSlug. A collection of Romione missing moments from all seven books. Rated K+.

Chapstick by TMBlue. Hermione intervenes with chapstick when she notices how chapped Ron’s lips are. Set at the start of sixth year. Rated K+.

Kiss the Girl by Weasleyismyking540. Romione AU confession. Rated K+.

Freckles, Cats and Candy by OrangeLovePerson. Ron and Hermione visit Hogsmeade in third year. Rated K+.

The Love In His Eyes by LovingNerdLife. Over the years, Ron Weasley has developed the habit of staring at Hermione Granger while she reads. While doing so, he reflects on how it came to be, without being aware that someone has noticed what he's doing. Rated K+.

Late Night Snack by AloeMilk. Whilst staying at the Burrow after the second war ended, Ron goes to get food during the night, and finds Hermione in the kitchen. Adorableness ensues. Rated K+.

To Know You Is To Love You by @coyotelaughingsoftly. Calm, rational discussions have never been their strong point. When a pre-wedding fight shows them that they need to get it together, Hermione suggests couples counselling with an innovative new method. Ron reluctantly agrees, and now the two of them are going to learn about each other in a way never before possible. Rated M for mature.

All My Best Lies by Bowtruckles (aka @remedialpotions).  In the summer before her sixth year, Hermione finds herself in sudden, desperate need of a date for a family function, and turns to Ron for help. But when one little lie spirals out of control, they both end up with so much more than they ever imagined. Rated T for teen.

Trigger Point by unablearethelovedto_die. When Ron and Hermione both fall sick, perhaps a non-magical remedy is required to heal them. One Shot. Post Battle of Hogwart's. Rated T for teen.

All I Meant by my_inked_asterism. Set at the Burrow in the middle of the night, Ginny helps Ron talk about some heavy secrets he had kept for himself for too long by now... and Hermione happens to hear it all. Rated T for teen.

Owner Of The Lonely Heart by Kamiangel. Romione AU Hermione secretly disguises herself as a boy to prove that girls and boys can both study at the same school only problem is a certain red head seems to be distracting her from her goal. Despite being written back in the late 2000s, this one has help up surprisingly well; they are a few “men are idiots” moments, but the author subverts this by having everyone lose their heads over romance. Rated T for teen.

Penalties by RyanRow02. Non-magic AU. Ron and Hermione are best friends and flatmates, who have to pretend to be a couple during a Weasley family reunion. This was written in the early 2010s, so some of the jealousy can get a bit overdone. Other than that, it’s pretty decent. The author treats Lavender with respect, which is great, although I don’t really the whole “Ron was a slouch at school” thing, but I suppose the films were still in people’s minds at the time. Rated M for mature.

HP AU Explorations by @hillnerd. A collection of Romione AU ideas. Rated M for mature.

Actually, check out all of Hillnerd’s Romione fics; they’re all brilliant. 

Tangled, by @burgundydahlia. A plot to bring down one of the Wizarding world’s prominent business leaders brings two friends back together after years of separation. But will their reunion be bittersweet? And what will happen when they realise nothing is as it seems? It’s not completed just yet.

Not as a last resort (parts 1 and 2) by Arabella. An AU Romione fanfic about Ron and Hermione having to spent the night inside Hagrid’s cabin due to a snowstorm, and having to share a bed (one of my favourite fluff tropes), as well as discussing the upcoming 2nd Yule Ball. Not rated, but I’d give it a K+ to a mild T.

Diamonds In A Rhinestone World by unablearethelovedto_die. When the Weasley brothers move into the shop upstairs, Hermione Granger is more concerned about the noise and dust than anything else. But the gemstones she works with have their own agenda and she soon finds herself drawn to one particular Weasley. This is a really sweet story, and really delves into what Ron and Hermione like about each other. Rated T for teen.

Also, anything by @trademark-blue, @azaleablueme @amysthefardareismai @otterandterrier. I also have a ‘fanfic recs’ tags, which has loads more.

Hope you liked these suggestions; thanks for the ask!

[fineillsignup]

Covering Your Ears to Steal a Bell update and wild speculation re: Gan Ning

So in the latest chapter of my (dark fic!! history is dark!! warnings!! read them!!) fic Covering Your Ears to Steal a Bell, I weave a blend of Dynasty Warriors tropes, popularly accepted history (the Sanguozhi), and the 14th century novel Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Sanguo Yanyi) to form my own fic. When you consider that ROTK is basically historical RPF and that the late Qing reform era Anti-Romance of the Three Kingdoms (Fan Sanguo Yanyi) was historical RPF fix-it fic where the author’s OC got to marry his favourite character (whose OC I have borrowed for my own fic), I am truly standing on the shoulders of giants when I wildly speculate on what a) actually happened b) would never have happened but is fun to imagine.

Now there’s a reason why my doc file for this Gan Ning centric story is “nice pirates are still not that nice”, and that attitude is basically how I approach this character who was, after all, a pirate living in decline of the Han dynasty China. Now, note, I’m not saying “everybody has to like Gan Ning, it’s compulsory”; but I am explaining why I like him and am not ashamed of it, even knowing all I know. Gan Ning gets the longest original section in volume 55 of the Sanguozhi, and the most later annotations, so you know what, people have liked talking about this guy for a long time. Was he their problematic fave too? Probably.

Gan Ning: Chinese pirate, my problematic fave

For people who aren’t aware, but for some reason want to try and follow along at home, the background: Gan Ning was a Chinese pirate active in the southeast-ish part of China around the year 200AD as the Han dynasty was falling apart. As regional warlords jockeyed for power, he joined up first with one (Huang Zu) and then with another who was going to beat the first (Sun Quan). The second one turned out to be pretty good at consolidating power, and carved out a kingdom called Wu in southeast China that became actually the longest lasting kingdom among the titular Three Kingdoms era of China.

They make him look something like this in the game series Dynasty Warriors. The bells and the feathers were actually his Marketing Trademark, and people remember them 1800 years later which goes to show how important it is to market yourself.

So when people are like “OMG did you know Gan Ning LIKED to KILL PEOPLE???” I’m like:

"Yeah but you don’t understand he liked to kill people for NO REASON!”

Yeah I’m still sitting here not terribly shocked. Even assuming the worst stories about him in his pre-Wu days were true—that he deliberately waited in houses where the occupants were away, just so that he would get to kill the people who lived there, instead of simply looting the houses and moving on—and not embellished to make him sound like more of a terror.... well, the end result is that he sounds like a terror, which, if you are trying to make your living as a pirate, is exactly the reputation you want? Or, to come at it with the same result but reversed, a person who is that eager to kill by nature is exactly the kind of person who would rise to significant power as a pirate in a chaotic era. So look at Captain Kirk there again for my reaction.

And again, it’s the era. What’s the difference between small-scale freelance murder and theft, aka piracy, and large-scale wholesale slaughter and theft, aka invading and conquering? In the latter case, often somebody to retroactively declare that you were emperor all along. In such an environment, I am even less eager to pass judgment.

And then there’s of course, the id. “Aren’t you tired of being nice? Don’t you want to just go apeshitt” as the meme says. Well, actually, I’m fine with being nice in my real life, but as Lin-Manuel Miranda says, some part of you wants to experience everything. And stories—and historical stories are still stories—are a way to do that.

So that basically takes care of “he was a killer!!” as an objection to liking him, in my books.

So in this particular chapter of my story, I deal with the other reason people usually bring up for hating Gan Ning, which is a story from the Sanguozhi (and therefore probably at least somewhat true) that involves a kind of controversy about child death (I’m on the side of arguing: probably not a child), but even without the age controversy, definitely involves murder; so not everybody wants to read it, so it’s under a cut. It’s a really fascinating story on a lot of levels so if you can handle stuff like “what happened to the princes in the tower” and similar historical horrors then you should be able to handle this.

Alright so here’s the relevant section from the Sanguozhi, the more-or-less intending to be accurate historical record from the Jin dynasty, written by a man named Chen Shou who, to be clear, was not even born yet by the time that Gan Ning died. So “what REALLY happened???” can never be fully known in all details, particularly the little anecdotes that would naturally grow in the telling. But that just means that “so why did they write down THIS and in THIS WAY?” becomes its own interesting question.

Everyone who comes at this history seems to say “Chen Shou was biased in this and that way and what the truth must actually be is this, which coincidentally is my bias” so I might as well do that too.

So here’s the incident in question in the original Chinese in the Sanguozhi:

寧厨下兒曾有過，走投呂蒙。蒙恐寧殺之，故不即還。後寧齎禮禮蒙母，臨當與升堂，乃出厨下兒還寧。寧許蒙不殺。斯須還船，縛置桑樹，自挽弓射殺之。畢，勑船人更增舸纜，解衣卧船中。蒙大怒，擊鼓會兵，欲就船攻寧。寧聞之，故卧不起。蒙母徒跣出諫蒙曰：「至尊待汝如骨肉，屬汝以大事，何有以私怒而欲攻殺甘寧？寧死之日，縱至尊不問，汝是爲臣下非法。」蒙素至孝，聞母言，即豁然意釋，自至寧舩，笑呼之曰：「興霸，老母待卿食，急上！」寧涕泣歔欷曰：「負卿。」與蒙俱還見母，歡宴竟日。

I took only two semesters of classical Chinese but I never like anybody else’s translation of classical Chinese anyway so here goes (I also consulted a modern Chinese gloss). I am bolding stuff I am going to talk about.

[Gan] Ning’s kitchen boy [more on this in a minute] committed a fault, and ran to throw himself on Lü Meng’s mercy. [Lü] Meng was afraid [Gan] Ning would kill him, therefore he would not return him. Later [Gan] Ning brought many gifts to [Lü] Meng’s mother, going up to the house in person, so that the kitchen boy would be returned to [Gan] Ning. [Gan] Ning promised [Lü] Meng that he wouldn’t kill him. On the way back to the boat, [Gan Ning] tied [the servant] to a mulberry tree, and he himself drew the bow to shoot him dead. That accomplished, he ordered his boatmen to lengthen the mooring rope, and laid down in the boat with his clothes loosened. [Lü] Meng was enraged. He hit the drum to summon soldiers, and immediately went to the boat to attack [Gan] Ning. When [Gan] Ning heard it, he didn’t get up. [Lü] Meng’s mother ran out barefoot and scolded [Lü] Meng saying: “Our lord has treated you as his flesh and blood, giving you dominion over great things, so how can you kill Gan Ning out of your own personal anger? If [Gan] Ning dies today, even if our lord ignores it, you will have broken the law.” [Lü] Meng was always extremely filial. He listened to his mother’s words, and in a flash he comprehended their meaning. He went personally to [Gan] Ning’s boat, and called out to him laughing: “Xingba [Gan Ning’s style name, used between peers; here shows affection or comradery], my mom’s got food ready, hurry up!” [Gan] Ning shed tears, snorted, and sobbed, saying, “I let you down.” Then he went back together with [Lü] Meng to see his mother, and they feasted all day.

Okay so the first thing is this critical phrase 厨下兒 which has been glossed into some English translations as “kitchen boy” and similar and which English speakers have then looked at and then gone “oh my God Gan Ning killed a child, a literal child, a tiny baby boy”. Ok, Hold on. Please.

So modern Chinese gloss I consulted translates this as “廚房的僕人” which just means “kitchen servant”. Yes “兒“ means child but it has so many other meanings especially in a compound like this; and this “child” is not specifically the “under a certain age” form of child.

Moreover, even in English, when we talk about English phrases like “kitchen boy” or (more prominently) “cabin boy” we are not talking about a five year old or even necessarily a ten year old. A 13-16 year old could easily be covered under that phrase in English. So please understand how a Chinese phrase like this could also cover such an age range, and remember also, that in this era, Ling Tong was on the front lines of the battlefield at age ~15 with his father when he died. So the idea of when a kid is fair game to be killed as an enemy is not our own.

So I’m even willing to go with the phrase “kitchen boy” because I feel the original conveys the sense of a minor servant. I’m certainly not going to rule out that the servant was, by modern standards, a child. Gan Ning is doing something really bad here. He knows himself it’s bad, and that’s where it gets the most interesting.

The second point I want to bring up is what it put across in the phrases “On the way back to the boat,” “he hit the drum”, and “ran out barefoot”, which is everything happens so fast. Gan Ning doesn’t even wait to get the servant home; instead, he kills him between Lü Meng’s house and his boat (which presumably was how he traveled to visit Lü Meng). And he does it by tying him to a tree! Not exactly subtle! And then he goes to his boat and just starts chillaxing! When he tells his sailors to lengthen the mooring rope, he’s doing the opposite of trying to run away. If you wanted to get away quickly, you would untie the mooring rope, or at least have it ready to untie fast. But Gan Ning deliberately makes it difficult to escape. And then the story mentions that Gan Ning loosens his clothing, or could even be interpreted as undressing, and that he lies down. Again, is that what you do when you expect to want to get away?

And then we’re back to everything happening so fast: Lü Meng, it seems finds out that the servant is dead very quickly, immediately hits a drum to summon soldiers and just runs out. And when Gan Ning hears this, he doesn’t get up. Now some people interpret this as cowardly, that Gan Ning was hiding from Lü Meng in not getting up to meet him. But if Lü Meng’s mother hadn’t caught him in time, would Lü Meng not have known where he was? No, Lü Meng knew exactly where he was. His boat was still tied to the dock by the mooring rope, and all of Gan Ning’s sailors, remember, would strictly speaking have been under Lü Meng too.

So then Lü Meng gets scolded by his mommy and realizes that he has to let Gan Ning off the hook. And he goes and the way he speaks to Gan Ning, in the original, is so casual and affectionate, which is why I translated it as “my mom’s got food ready”. Now within Chinese culture, as in many cultures, this invitation to food is in itself a mark of affection.

And then we come to the most interesting part of all: the original uses four characters to describe Gan Ning’s crying. Now, Chinese is terse, and classical Chinese is ULTRA terse. These people are not using any more characters than they have to. Yet Chen Shou spend four whole characters to describe that Gan Ning was not only “shedding tears” but “snorting” and “sobbing”. Holy shit. Believe me, if you read a lot of classical Chinese, this rings like a klaxon. The person writing this down thought this was important.

Gan Ning’s motivations throughout all of this are just so opaque. Impulsivity? But it involved a certain amount of planning. Did he want to be punished? Did he have even a death wish? Why was he so fixated on this escaped servant? (The silence of the original text as to what the servant did wrong exacerbates this. It could be almost anything.) Why did he, in some ways, play it so coolly and so arrogantly (the tying to a tree, the lying down half-dressed on a drifting boat), but then suddenly flip to abject, sobbing apology? Was the latter apology as much of a lie as his original promise not to kill the servant was? Or was Gan Ning truly stricken with remorse?

And what do we learn from the story? Utility to the state as a way to escape consequences? Crime and punishment are difficult to separate from personal considerations of revenge and anger? Efficacy of shame based on personal connection over physical attack? Chinese mothers are always right? (It’s that last one, isn’t it.)

So that’s why I had to write my own version. And yes, it’s a version that, while not condoning Gan Ning’s many horrible actions, does portray him as a person sympathetically.

[threshie]

Nameless Tag Game (I Dunno What to Put Here...)

Wowee, I got tagged for this by both @winter-tundra and @saawek -- thanks, guys! :D

Fictional characters you relate most to? I find Spider-Man (Peter Parker Spidey) very relatable. Super nerdy, loves awful puns, can talk too much and be socially awkward, fond of food. Castiel, too -- outsider to many social situations, far too literal sometimes, means well but sometimes makes big blunders, has trademark article of clothing (him = trench coat, me = long skirt), bluest eyes to ever blue (so people tell me...)

Book you can read over and over without getting tired of it? Jurassic Park and The Lost World. World War Z. I come back and re-read these and still get totally absorbed in reading them the next time.

What’s your favourite comfort show/movie? I don’t really watch TV for comfort? If we’re talking like a rainy day movie, the old worn-edged favorite you can start or stop at any point and still know what’s going on and enjoy watching it over and over, then I’d say Tremors, The Gamers: Dorkness Rising, Spaceballs, and 9 to 5.

Which fictional character are you most defensive over? I love and want to protect Sam, Dean, Cas and Crowley. It’s sad when I see people who love the show but hate Sam, or think Dean is stupid, or think Cas should just die. (Or portray Crowley as generically evil, completely missing how sassy and brilliant and complex he is, but I digress.) The heart of these characters is usually how much they care for each other -- I don’t see how anybody thinks it’d be better for one of them to kill off somebody they love. =/

Show you fell out of love with? Doesn’t really happen to me. If I loved it in the past, I will still love re-watching it, even if I’m not active in the fandom anymore. My favorite animes are a good example.

Show you’re most excited for? Seeing the rest of Supernatural. I just finished season 11 for the first time, I’m still kind of a fandom n00b. I also want to watch the rest of Z Nation, which is just awesome. ♥

What’s your aesthetic? Soft, soft fluff and touchy-feely platonic cuddling? I dunno.

Favorite fanfic tropes? Bed-sharing, Friends to Lovers, Unrequited Love, Hurt/Comfort in general, Fuck or Die, Sharing a Body (heyo, demonic possession and angel vessels!), injuries and patching up/bandaging/carrying around hurt people (would we call that whump?)

I’m tagging: @casinthegarden @gabrielthemoose @cenedrariva @flightoftheseraph @diminuel 

[harangularspectacular]

Some More Favourite Songs from 2018

- It seems like I was only recently writing about my favourite songs of the year so far, and now the year is already over. Here it comes, there it goes. There’s plenty more songs I could list here, but there are the one’s that I have some thoughts about at the moment.

Sharon Van Etten - Comeback Kid

Alright, this is something like a new wave Springsteen song with all the economy of a Raymond Carver short story. I don’t have much to say about this song, other than it’s an incredibly badass single to drop without context, and that you really should read a copy of the lyrics and take note of the inverted commas -- there are two speakers, and the song came alive for me once I realised that. I know it I said it was like a short story, but it honestly feels like there’s a whole novel here.

The Goon Sax - Losing Myself

I saw The Goon Sax play a few more terrible (read: very excellent) shows this year, and I still think they’re one of the best live bands in Brisbane, although a friend suggested they suspect the band are trying to distance themselves from their own reputation as quickly as possible, and I’m starting to believe it. That’s the thrill of The Goon Sax, though -- they’re always teetering on the edge of falling apart, only one ABBA song away from a complete emotional breakdown.

Kali Uchis - In My Dreams

Remember that time Katy Perry wrote a woke pop song about living in a bubble? Me neither -- it stalled in the charts and then became part of the same background noise it was trying to dispel. Thankfully, Kali Uchis has written one that’s better, because bubble metaphors are played out and dreaming metaphors are eternal. The plastic prince of everything artificial and imaginary himself, Damon Albarn, even stops by to deliver some of his trademark melancholy (“The moments we are happiest / Are the moments that we don't exist”). The song transcends political commentary, becoming a song about the human condition. However, the real magic trick is that the song’s production is so light and dreamy that it feels like a dream itself, and suddenly the impulse to say asleep feels perfectly understandable.

Charli XCX - Girls Night Out

There are many, many sequels to eighties films being produced in Hollywood at the moment, although I’m more excited about the sequels to eighties songs that we’re currently hearing. While lots of journalists and critics have already explained to death the cultural significance of The 1975′s Love It If We Made It (we get it!), Charli XCX’s Girls Night Out is a very necessary sequel to Cyndi Lauper’s Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, and it’s being criminally overlooked. Produced by SOPHIE and StarGate, the beat sounds like a mobile phone ringtone from the nineties -- only Charli is on the other end of the call, waiting for you to pick up the phone, put on your favourite lip gloss, and have a girl’s night out (“No boys, no boys”). Please remember this is from the same artist who blessed us with Boys just last year.

Cardi B - Get Up 10

So obviously I Like It Like That is the song of the year, but as exuberant and joyful as that song is (“eating halal, driving the Lam’...”), there’s this line from Get Up 10 that I keep thinking about (“Went from making tuna sandwiches to making the news”) because it reminds me of a Biggie Smalls line (“Remember when I used to eat sardines for dinner”) which in turn makes me think that I really want someone more learned than me to write an essay about the role of fish in narratives of struggle and success within hip-hop music. Are there more examples of this? Is there more subject-specific context involved in this discourse? Are fish becoming another food-related hip-hop trope, like Grey Poupon? I would say that I want answers, but asking questions is more fun.

[gemwing1988]

The Cuphead Show: Dreamstones Edition — Henchman TV Tropes

A/N: Warning, this will contain spoilers. Please read with care and enjoy.

The Devil’s affable right hand demon and a Friendly Enemy to the Dreamstones and their group. Despite being a demon with a Adorkable Simpleton Voice, Henchman is a Nice Guy who is a lot smarter than he looks and sounds as he always serves as the Devil’s confident and tries to keep his boss’ temper in check all the while supporting his evil schemes. On hand, Henchman does show standards when it concerns the Devil letting his personal vendettas against the Cup Brothers and the Dreamstones getting the best of him.

Adorkable: He does have his moments.

Affably Evil:

Just like in the canon cartoon, he is genuinely friendly despite being the Devil’s most loyal minion. In the fanfiction, he is most especially a very affable Friendly Enemy towards the Dreamstones girls and their friends.

Whenever Katie gets kidnapped and forcefully dragged back into the Underworld, Henchman does everything he can to make her feel comfortable and tries to assure her that the Devil’s not so bad once she gets to know him better.

He’s practically a surrogate uncle to Eira whenever the Devil kidnaps her and tries to forecefully to make his daughter.

Catchphrase: In the fanfic adaptation, he seems to have a handful.

“Dah, hey/hiya, Boss!”

The running gag where he pops up and adds in “Head” whenever the Devil mentions about Cuphead as simply “that Cup”.

“Dah, Boss wants to see ya” whenever he informs Anubis or King Dice about the Devil demanding them to come see him.

He pretty much says “Aw jeez” quite a lot whenever he’s nervous or when things get seriously bad such as the Devil resorts to release the Four Horsemen or is about to get really angry.

Foil: He is this to Aster the Star Sprigon. They’re both purple in colour and both sweet and friendly. However despite being a Nice Guy, Henchman is still the Devil’s Minion with an F in Evil while Aster willingly defects to the Dreamstones side after having enough of the Devil abusing and threatening her.

Friend to All Children: Despite being a demon, he has a surprisingly good way with babies.

Hidden Depths:

Him being a lot smarter than he looks , counselling the Devil and his vast knowledge of all the names of Santa’s reindeer aside, Henchman has a soft spot for cats, mainly kittens and likes to sleep with a teddy in bed.

He’s very good with kids, mainly babies as evidenced when he managed to get baby Eira to stop crying and bottle feed her with ease. Huh, guess having an Odd Friendship with a Friendly Enemy must run in the family.

Nice Guy:

Odd Friendship:

He is on friendly terms with the Dreamstones and bares zero grudges towards Aster and Cyra after they had defected to their side.

He most sociable with Misterie such as enjoying their vacation at the same destination with Quardratus at the end of the adaptation of The Devil’s Revenge.

Running Gag: Whenever the Devil mentions about Cuphead simply as “that Cup”, Henchman can’t help but add in, “Head” either on or offscreen, followed up an exasperated Devil responding, “Thank you, Henchman”.

Sweet Tooth: He enjoys sweets as much as the Devil.

Trademark Favourite Food: He really enjoys peanut and jelly sandwiches.

Villain Respect:

[pony-central]

TV Tropes That Apply to DrugFriend

Prone to Tears - Just like many other residents of Parodies Town, DrugFriend can start crying at the drop of a hat

Agony of the Feet - when he was 15 years old, he got a nasty carpet burn on his foot. Sick Boyfriend treated it immediately

Alcoholic Hic - he got drunk once, and spent the whole night hiccuping

Prone to Vomiting - when he is seasick

Art Evolution - in the mod, he got a redesign, just like some other Boyfriend's and Girlfriend's

Art Shift - see FNF vs SpongeBob Parodies v3 and take a look at his new look

Ascended Fanboy - he became obsessed with SpongeBob SquarePants

Babysitter's Nightmare - he gets worried whenever he looks after Benjy

Embarrassing Nickname - Drugsy Wugsy

Berserk Button - Don't show him Among Us memes or make fun of him

Gasshole - due to all the Taco Bell he consumes, it's no surprise that this trope would apply to him

Catchphrase - "Hey, buddy"

A Day in the Limelight - DrugFriend and the Dooshy Dog is one for him, and also The Donut Disasters and Hypnosis can count as this too

Color Failure - DrugFriend changes colour whenever he gets sick

Big Damn Kiss - he once gave Sick Boyfriend a ten second long kiss

Ambiguously Bi - he is bisexual

Crying a River - he sometimes does this

Sir Swears-a-Lot - he swears more than Sick Boyfriend does, which makes sense since he is an adult

Disney Death - he had this in Confronting Yourself. He was revived by Sick Boyfriend's necklace

Depending on the Writer - he will sometimes get into arguments with Sick Boyfriend if the story gets serious, as seen in the discontinued "The ShrugFriend Argument" series

Eat the Evidence - every time he stole the Donut Stash, he would end up eating it. He would also lick all the crumbs off of the carpet

Lethal Chef - he once tried NyQuil chicken and underwent hallucinations. Another time the tried to make pink sauce from scratch and ended up puking everywhere

I Ate What?! - he once tried the Grimace Shake out for curiosity and threw up all over the sidewalk

Energetic and Soft Spoken Duo - he's the Energetic to Sick Boyfriend's Soft Spoken

Downer Ending - he was fired from his job due to his work "lacking motivation"

Flipping the Bird - his redesign did this at the start of Cannabis

Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass - he may be dumb at times. But he can pack a serious punch

Ax-Crazy - He ended up injuring Purity Senpai once

Art Evolution - the redesign of DrugFriend looks very different than the previous design

Seven Deadly Sins - Lust, as he spends most of his time talking about male anatomy

Rage Quit - He's not the biggest Among Us fan

Comically Missing the Point - in the deleted Three Boy Bondin Crew React to Comments and Roasts on Themselves Series, Sick Boyfriend and Prime Boyfriend were both shown to get angry at a joke, but DrugFriend didn't get it

Why Did It Have to be Snakes?! - One of his biggest fears is waterparks due to his fear of heights and seasickness. He's also scared of lightning and spiders, especially tarantulas

Trademark Favourite Food - it's no surprise that he loves fast food, especially if it's Spicy Bean Burritos from the local Taco Bell restaurant seven blocks from his and Sick Boyfriend's house

Embarrassing Nickname - Drugsy Wugsy, as he finds it so embarrassing

Potty Failure - he wets himself at the end of the Sicky Drugshine music video, much to Sick Boyfriend's surprise

Accidental Innuendo - he murmured "Can I put my pee pee inside your butthole?" at the end of DrugFriend and the Dooshy Dog while sleeping next to Sick Boyfriend

Palette Swap - in the same series, he also swapped colours with Sick BF, and screamed

Screams Like a Little Girl - he does this in DATDD once Boyfriend got back home from his date with Girlfriend

[coffee-n-ocs]

Exosis (Music OCs): Duke McManus (2014)

The bassist of the band 'Exosis', and the only man in the group, Duke's head is mostly full of sex, video games, alcohol, and cupcakes. Usually dressed in orange, Duke's confident, warm and enthusiastic, though at times he can be somewhat arrogant and cocksure.

"Things are different here, 'crisps' are 'chips', that's fucking confusing."

Name

Full Legal Name: Archer Lonán Duke McManus-Bull First Name: Archer Meaning: From an English surname meaning 'Bowman, Archer', of Old French origin. Pronunciation: AHR-cher Origin: English Middle Name(s): Lonán, Duke Meaning(s): Lonán: Means 'Little blackbird', derived from Old Irish 'Lon' 'Blackbird combined with a diminutive suffix Duke: From the noble title 'Duke', which was originally derived from Latin 'Dux' 'Leader' Pronunciation: LUW-nan, DOOK Origin: Irish, Old Irish. English Surname(s): McManus, Bull Meaning(s): McManus: Anglicized form of Irish 'Mac Maghnuis' meaning 'Son of Mághnus', the Irish form of 'Magnus', a Late Latin name meaning 'Great' Bull: From a nickname for a person who acted like a bull Pronunciation: mac-MAN-us, BUWL Origin: Irish. English Aliases: Archer McManus, Lonan McManus, Duke McManus, Archer Bull, Lonan Bull, Duke Bull Nicknames: Archie, Duke Titles: Mr

Characteristics

Age: 36 Gender: Male. He/Him Pronouns Race: Human Nationality: Dual Nationality, American & English Ethnicity: White - 1/2 British - 1/2 American Birth Date: 30th May 1978 Sexuality: Bisexual Religion: Raised Christian Native Language: English Spoken Languages: English, (learning) Sioux Relationship Status: Dating Astrological Sign: Gemini Face Claim: Nick Frost

Geographical Characteristics

Birthplace: Princes Risborough, Buckinghamshire, England, UK Current Location: 'On Tour'

Appearance

Height: 5'7" / 170 cm Weight: 160 lbs / 72 kg Eye Colour: Brown Hair Colour: Black Hair Dye: None Body Hair: Hairy Facial Hair: Stubble Tattoos: None visible (usually) Scars: None Clothing Style: Mainly oranges and browns, graphic T-shirts, loose shorts

Health and Fitness

Allergies: None Alcoholic, Smoker, Drug User: Social Drinker, Smoker Illnesses/Disorders: None Diagnosed Medications: None Any Specific Diet: None

Relationships

Affiliated Groups: Exosis Friends: Viola Wilbur, Winona Tomahawk, Lita McManus Enemies: None Noted Yet Mentor: None Significant Other: Winona Tomahawk (35, Girlfriend) Previous Partners: Hunter Peak (37, Ex-Boyfriend) Parents: Jasper McManus (66, Father), Brook Sergeant (67, Mother, Née Bull), Rosaire Sergeant (68, Step-Father) Parents-In-Law: None Siblings: Angelita McManus-Bull (33, Sister) Siblings-In-Law: None Nieces & Nephews: Ember McManus-Bull (13, Niece) Children: None Children-In-Law: None Grandkids: None Other Notable Relatives: None

Notes

Occupation: Mechanic Tropes: (These are purely theoretical for how I would write him)

Colour-Coded For Your Convenience: Usually dresses in orange

Fat and Skinny: The Fat to Lita's Skinny

Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The Foolish to Lita's Responsible

Human Jungle Gym: Lets his niece, Ember, climb on him whenever they're around each other

Real Men Wear Pink: Not only has he said that he identifies with a female perspective on most things, but he's also expressed a skill at cooking and has stated his favourite colour is pink. He also enjoys nail polish and makeup

Trademark Favourite Food: Cupcakes

-Design to come in group pic-

[inspectorspacetimerevisited]

Although they are strongly associated with the Fourth Inspector,

other incarnations (Eighth and Twelfth) have shown an affinity for wine gums.