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#Trying to get back to regular schedule
nixiecat · 5 months
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went gym today
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edgedfox · 2 years
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Service puppy subs who remind doms to take their meds and eat, sticking by them nice and close whenever they go out with a little harness that says “service pet, do not touch”. Getting them water and food, laying on top of them when they’re anxious. My brother in christ, i am yearning.
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purpleghoul87 · 11 months
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What they say vs what they mean : Afton edition
Hi so this is back from September but I literally forgot to post it... so here :)
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sebastiancomic · 1 year
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>:O
(flats by mulberry_shrike)
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Mmm mushrooms
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Roughly once every four years I ponder the alternate timeline where I didn't get scared and quit college rugby after a single practice
#everyone was cool i was just intimidated coming from softball and karate into a full-contact team sport#after one practice i was like 'this is not for me' and didn't go back#and i do feel this way during most olympics. but especially after watching a bunch of women's rugby yesterday and today lol#maybe this'll be the year i finally get buff. im realizing that i really need to get regular exercise so im looking for stuff to do#I've enjoyed softball a lot this year and last but it's only in the spring/summer (our season just ended)#i wasn't really able to play last fall bc my work schedule gets crazy in sep/oct and i work some weekends#gyms are so fucking expensive and i really prefer having a structured activity to just free workout time#i've tried a couple of apps (just started using a new one that seems promising) but i can never stick to them as well as a team or class#i gotta figure out what sports run in the winter and where the chiller recreational teams are#i do feel like i lucked out with my softball league. it's not so casual that it's a boozefest but not so competitive that it becomes unfun#some of my softball teammates have talked about doing basketball together and like.#im a good sport im willing to try most things despite being fat and slow but i am Extremely not built for basketball lmao#idk idk. i just turned 30 last week and have started having trouble sleeping in the last few months#regular moderate exercise will not solve all my problems but it will probably help#j rambles
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mutalune · 3 months
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hey siri how do I stop feeling gutwrenchingly anxious in the guilt way for using the treatment methods available to me to not be in constant misery
#starlight personal#it’s very bizarre to have my life going objectively well - work is good! personal life is good! family is good!#and still be very mentally ill and feel like I’m faking it even though I know damn well I ain’t scream-sobbing every couple of days alone in#my apartment for attention because What Attention??? my cat????? Bug is never moved by my tears she cares only for string and wires#like I know that cannabis has been immensely helpful to getting me to fucking sleep on a regular schedule and that’s integral to -#my functioning and I know that having emergency klonopin in the event of a total breakout is helpful#and I KNOW that my PMDD and depression and anxiety are very treatment resistant and ketamine is the only thing that’s provided any -#meaningful relief and logically I know I’m not abusing any of these#I’m getting a promotion at work I still go out to see friends regularly I have hobbies I have a girlfriend (??? Wild right)#like clearly these things are working because i’m better now than i was for years leading up to now#SO LIKE. DON’T STOP USING THE THINGS THAT HELP. LOGICALLY THIS MEANS THESE ARE GOOD FOR ME#I always roll my eyes when ppl go off their meds b/c they’re feeling better like babes that’s what the meds are meant to do#if you stop taking them you stop feeling better - but it’s REALLY HARD to get past the cultural conditioning#the feeling that ‘but I can white knuckle my way through this I can force myself to live without’ like WHY BITCH#WE DON’T HAVE TO LIVE WITHOUT#AND ALSO. WE’RE STILL GENERALLY MISERABLE BRO. EVEN WITH OUR LIFE IN A BETTER PLACE!!!#DO YOU NOT THINK THIS MEANS THAT WE SHOULD USE WHAT WE KNOW WORKS TO BE LESS MISERABLE#basically it’s really hard to not feel like a loser when the only things that help are ‘fun’ drugs like weed and psychedelics#I feel like I’m being a hedonistic reprobate which 1) is actually kinda cool now that I wrote it out#2) @ myself were not a good enough liar-faker that every medical professional we see wouldn’t pick up on that if that was our motivation#time to remind myself that it’s arrogant to think I could trick many trained professionals without actively trying tbh#that generally helps me get out of my self-pitying ‘ohhhhh I’m awful and lazy and bad and abusing substances’ spiral#to be very mentally ill on main it is weirdly reassuring to be like ‘just as my fanon interpretation of obi wan kinda hates himself but is -#practical enough to take care of himself even when it makes him cringe and want to scratch his face off; I too am aware that self-care is -#radical and punk and In Fact Necessary to beat back the dark and live in the light with hope so yes even though I doubt and -#feel squiggly and guilty about it I’m not going to NOT prioritize my health and well-being b/c self-hatred and self-denial benefits no one’#thank you inner obi wan i love projecting my issues onto you mwah mwah mwah smooches for my favorite boy!!!!!#and smooches for me I’m going to be proud of myself gosh darn it even if I have to fake it at first#see I wouldn’t be able to be nice to myself like this if I hadn’t been doing ketamine treatment for a year IT WORKS BRO KEEP IT UP#SCHEDULE THE DAMN APPOINTMENT AND CLEAN YOUR BONG
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aewrie · 1 year
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'once a week or more' well rip
my default state of being when i'm not having a bad day is a little tired & nursing a budding headache. i have a headache right now that i'm ignoring
is this going to be another of those 'there is no such thing as a 'mild' concussion, if you hit your head bad enough to black out it is a concussion' lmao???
i get headaches from fucking everything. weather/air pressure (low and high). low/high blood sugar or too rapid changes there. too bright/dim light (at home i am specific about my lights/curtains at different points of the day/depending on how bright it's outside to avoid these). rapid repetitive/jarring physical motions (just jumping a little can be enough/make it worse). muscle tension. doing stretching/exercise that gets blood really flowing. lack of and/or bad sleep, or too much sleep. getting (strongly) emotional. caffeine (a new exiting one! only started regularly drinking coffee fairly recently. how much caffeine is too much is a fucking mystery though). i should wear glasses (myopia, not too severe) but i avoid it unless i need to see that far that well in part bc the glasses pressing on my temples give me headaches more easily than my eyes being slightly tired does.
i'm probably forgetting a bunch more
but every time i've seen people describe migraines i've thought well mine aren't anywhere near that severe/those specific kinds of headaches so No Way it's that
but. i do have other symptoms on that list? i just never thought it might be related to my headaches bc i'd not seen those mentioned, at least not in a way that i could identify as something i should consider in connection to this, and there's always the huge stress that migraines are always extra super bad to the point that a Real migraine completely disables you for a while. while to me it's. it's annoying, it hurts, if it's particularly bad it can make things more difficult but not impossible/near impossible; just, a general It's Not That Bad, therefore normal and i should just deal with it
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hellcab · 1 year
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yardsards · 2 years
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i think the issue with having an extremely inconsistent sleep schedule is not that your overall daily schedule will be out of wack (i am quite fine with changing schedules) but rather that all hours of the day are Schrodinger's Bedtime. like, going to bed just feels like An Option at all times and this leads to a lot of laying in bed almost dozing but not really sleeping
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aslisjournal · 1 year
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I’m so grateful for you guys on this website
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i love dealing with the american healthcare system it’s soooo useful and easy
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finex09 · 1 year
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sorry to edm post back to back BUT. festival season is upon us and i have some fomo ngl but mostly im just pissed bc the state of the scene is very, how do i put it lightly, fucked anyways in case anyones wondering abt edm controversies: Insomniac (the company that holds EDC and a slew of other festivals) is consistently putting on predators on their lineups and even tried trademarking PLUR which??? hello?????? this year for EDC theres not one, but two guys who have been outted as sexual predators/general creeps and it just. sucks to see!
i might still watch the livestream bc i have a few favs playing and i do wanna see them, but its just an incredibly disheartening thing overall to see ppl go "OH NO!! anyways--" about literal rapists and guys with a history of sexual assault.
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sabraeal · 2 years
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💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.
💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
If You Dare! My hakizana fics are not usually SUPER popular, but they tend to garner at least a little interest, but that one didn't even get a blip 🤣Too bad, that one was going to get smutty in the next chapter or two. ONE DAY.
💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.
That would be To My Esteemed Enemy with three whole kudos, which is both surprising and not, because it's a fic with a pairing that is more popular than my main ship in that fandom, but it 1) doesn't have any ship content in it yet, 2) is using canon characterization of Kazama, which displeases the people who want him to be a sexy villain and also the people who want him to be a uwu good boy trying his best. It's easy to say something nice about this, because I spent HOURS poring over Hakuouki lore to get this into shape and was SO PLEASED with the results. It just needs a few more chapters to really find an audience, I think, but I don't have the time right now to put my effort into it.
#asks#meme#fic meme#my posting schedule was so regular over the last year that i really lost any sort of idea of what was popular at all#because i would post something and then everyone was so used to something being posted#that they'd sit on it instead of like...ravenously reading it and commenting in the hopes that I'd come back to it#so when stuff made no splash i wouldn't even notice until weeks later when I was looking through stats#usually just to find a fic i needed to reference#and i'd be like oh okay hm that's data#when not even popular stuff gets a lot of movement it doesn't hit you so hard when other stuff doesn't either#it's been weird this year because i haven't been able to post weekly due to life getting in the way#this is cold and snow season and it makes my writing days very spotty and i'm trying to just go with the flow on it#so when i DO post something there's like an EXPLOSION of activity#it's been interesting to see how when you regularly post no one say anything unless you miss an update#but when there's no promise of an update to come suddenly everything you post is much more valuable in people's heads#i have fics in other fandoms with SUPER rare pairs#and they really only get updates once every two months because i focus more on ANS#and like those chapters just explode on contact now. everyone comments and wants to talk about the characters and what's going on#and now that i'm really only posting ANS every 2-3 weeks it's starting to be the same here too#just SUPER interesting how the human brain works when it comes to this stuff
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desolateice · 2 years
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Generally I update fairly frequently, but while I do have drafts of Buku Buku Cha and Cherry Cordial done, editing and posting these are going to go on a mini hiatus until after the holidays. I’m participating in the CK Secret Santa and with my inability to write anything short unless it’s a drabble I’m putting all efforts into trying to finish a fic before the 25th. Thank you for your patience and understanding.
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littlestpetship · 2 years
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RAZOR EMOJIS... FINALLY.........
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