#Untwist it later

[frogeyedape]

March spin, spiral ply! The roving;

And the roving unbraided (b/c I still have not used up my stash from that one shop that folded its rovings in thirds and literally braided them instead of making a typical roving "braid" by chaining loops)

Aaaaaaand after the labor of splitting the roving into whatI thought was 1/3 and 2/3 which turned out to roughly half and half...and splitting one of the halves into half a third (1/6) and half of 2/3 aka 1/3 of the whole roving....aaaaaaand after predrafting so there's 5/6 in one pile and 1/6 in another, and both sections rolled up into balls:

I held the 1/2 and 1/3 together to get the 5/6 so as to preserve color changes.

Goal:

spin the small ball as fine as I can get it

gauge how thick a singles approximately 5x as large as the fine singles would be

spin the big ball at that 5x size

ply together with ooooh oh no if the thin singles is held at higher tension than the fat singles I'll use more yardage of the fat singles than I would if they were at even tension b/c it's spiraling around, yeah, so NOT 5x...

oh fuck what ratio...

1x thin plied with...let's say the spiral uses 1/3-1/2 has much yardage more from the 5x roving, so to stretch it to compensate let's say 3x singles size? suuuuuure

hope the math works out???

enjoy whatever the fuck happens while plying and just surrender to the experience of playing plying chicken...which singles will run out first and how closely can I get the colors to match between the two singles...

[mead-iocre]

A Girl Just Wants To Be Spoilt | Leah Williamson x Reader

synopsis: just leah handing over her gold amex card. yep.

warnings: none :)

wc: 860 words

“This is such a waste of time” You hear your girlfriend mutter to herself from behind you, but you pay her no mind. You were far too interested in choosing which lip gloss to get. Leah and you were currently in Sephora because she had to go shopping for a new outfit for an event she is invited to attend later that week. After a quick lunch, you all but dragged your reluctant girlfriend into the beauty store. 

Leah didn’t mind makeup, and lately with the media and events that she had to do, she was almost used to sitting in a makeup chair and having a makeup artist work on her face. However, outside of the events, Leah kept her face bare and makeup-free. You, on the other hand, were makeup obsessed. You spent an hour longer than your girlfriend when it came to getting ready in the morning because you had an entire skincare and makeup routine. 

“Oi! Quit it!” You playfully slap your girlfriend’s hand away when you see her reach for the open samples of eyeshadow palettes. Knowing how bored your girlfriend was getting, she was probably going to try some shit like wipe the eyeshadow on your arm or something. The blonde pouts, but follows dutifully behind you when you move over to the other section. 

“Oh this one’s quite nice” Untwisting the lipgloss sample, you glance the back of your hand only to frown when you see that there is no space to swatch the product. Checking the other hand, you see it’s already full of other lipstick and lipgloss swatches too. 

You were just about to put the lipstick down when your girlfriend practically thrusts her own hand out in front of you. “Use mine”

“Thanks, baby” Giving her a sweet smile and a kiss on the corner of her lips, you happily swipe the lipgloss wand on the back of her hand. You tilt your head, inspecting the colour before you shake your head. “That’s a nice colour…but would I wear it often?” You mutter more to yourself.

Turning back to the wide selection of lipglosses, you pick up another tube only to swatch the sample on the back of the blonde’s hand again. Leah rolls her eyes. “what, am I just your personal tester now?”

You turn to your girlfriend, patting her cheek lightly before kissing her right on her pouty lips. “you did offer, baby.”

Leah rolls her eyes at you but you can see a smile forming. “Whatever. Make it quick”

“Which one should I get, Lee?” You hold up two lipglosses. Instead of an answer, Leah only looks at you with one sharp eyebrow raised. “Is that a trick question?”

Your eyebrows furrow. “What is?”

Your girlfriend gestures to the lipglosses in your hands. “They’re the same fucking colour, darling”

You wave the two very different colours of lipglosses in the air. “They are not– this one’s more peachy and this one is more pink. Now pick one for me, please! I only want to get one since it’s so bloody expensive”

The blonde groans, and runs a palm down the side of her face like this is the most tedious task in the entire world as if she doesn’t chase a ball for a living. 

Before you could say another word, Leah grabs both of the clearly different lipglosses from your hand and then turns to the selection of lip products on display. She grabs a few more of the tubes in different shades, chucking them in the basket without even a second glance, and then makes a beeline straight to the checkout counters.

You jog to catch up to her, just as she greets the lady at the counter. “Lee, I only wanted to get just one–” You reach into the basket, intending to pull out the other twenty products that weren’t the ones you came into Sephora to buy.

But Leah grabs your hand, halting your actions. She brings out her wallet from her back pocket. "Nothing to worry your pretty little head about, baby. I've got it– and since I'm paying, we’ll take it all” She smiles at the lady at checkout, nodding at her to continue scanning what was probably the ninth lip product by now. 

You didn’t even want to glance at the screen as it totals your purchases– it was probably close to half of your monthly rent. You suddenly found the floor much more interesting.

“…the lady needs your card, darling”

Your head snaps up. You stare at your girlfriend, eyes wide in bewilderment. Did her shiny gold amex card ayment not go through? Is she making you pay for— a quick glance at the screen— £400+ worth of lip products? Is she playing some sick joke by making you pay for it after realising she doesn’t want to spend four hundred pounds on lip products that weren’t even for her—?

but it’s as if your girlfriend can read your mind, because all she does is chuckle and pull you close with an arm around your waist. Leah leans in right by your ear and whispers “your Sephora rewards card, baby. wouldn’t want those points to go to waste”

(also i might’ve changed ending after posting lol so if you read the OG ending, lucky you but shhhh!)

bro leah in a suit lately got me feeling some type of way. she's definitely the type to spoil her partner in every way thanks to that dyson headphones check 💰

might start doing these shorter blurbs more often :))

-- kisses, butter.

[wileys-russo]

ahem. You. I have a foxy request— her obsession with her kindle while she’s dating you, perhaps? You don’t want to go paperless, but Foxy keeps trying to convince you to get a kindle. She’ll hide your book and make comments like “but if you had a kindle” and teasingly roll her eyes, but it goes both ways? Maybe R is taller than her, so one day she takes emily’s kindle and holds it over her head and emily tries to get it back and R just keeps gently tapping her head with the kindle before holding it back up. Absolutely no pressure, this just sounded like smth down your alley?

brand deal II e.fox

“em?” you called out hesitantly, frowning as the majority of the lights were switched off in your apartment and you let yourself in. “emily?” you called again, hair pricking up on the back of your neck as you took a few cautious steps forward.

“where is she?” you mumbled with a frown, knowing she was in fact here given she’d called you about five minutes ago as you were pulling into the parking garage to check when you’d be home.

you settled a little as you flicked on the living room lights, hanging your bag up and shrugging off your puffer jacket. “you’re back!” you screamed and almost fell over at the new voice interrupting the thick silence.

“don’t do that!” you scowled at your girlfriend, kicking off your shoes as she made her way closer with a grin. “do what? say hi?” the brunette teased as your facial expression remained unamused.

“why were all the lights off you freak? i called out for you twice!” you defended, making your way into the kitchen to wash your hands.

having caught your neighbours practically pantsless in your buildings elevator the other day you’d made sure to thoroughly wash your hands every time you had to enter it since.

“well it was light outside when i started this chapter, and now…many chapters later, it’s dark.” emily shrugged in explanation as you gave her an odd look.

“you were reading…in the dark?” “yes." "do you have like some superhuman ability to see in the dark that you just never told me about?" "obviously?"

"oh well sorry i didn't realise i was dating a mutant!" you teased with a roll of your eyes, your girlfriend smiling in amusement. "you don't need the lights on to read on a kindle babe." the american revealed the truth as you rolled your eyes again but this time less playfully.

"you know if you had one-" "don't try to brand deal me fox, i know all your little tricks."

"no come on, don't be like that!" emily laughed at your obvious disdain as you moved to start rummaging through the fridge. "like what exactly?" you sighed, tapping your foot trying to magically conjure up what you were going to cook for dinner with your severe lack of groceries.

the two of you were going away for a few days since there wasn't a game this weekend for arsenal and the girls were given some time off, so you'd both put off buying anything which might perish while you were gone.

"like such a negative nelly." "you are so american sometimes its painful." "hey! you were living in the states by your own choice when we met, thank you."

"emily i truly believe that if it was put to you that you had to choose between being with me or never reading on that stupid thing again, you'd choose the kindle." you pivoted back to the original subject making the brunette chuckle.

"and if i said you might be correct?" she grinned teasingly as you pulled your head out of the fridge to shoot her an unimpressed glare in warning.

"joking, i'm joking! just using my delightful sense of humor that helped you fall so in love with me in the first place." your girlfriend smiled charmingly as you hummed and bit back a smile of your own.

"since we have no food, how about i take you and paige to dinner?" emily offered, leaning around you and snagging a half empty bowl of strawberries out of the fridge, pulling herself up to sit on the counter to pick at them.

"me and who?" you closed the fridge and turned to look at her with confusion, untwisting the cap on a bottle of water and taking a sip. "paige." emily echoed as you waited for her to elaborate which she never did, just smiling at you as if nothing was wrong.

"who is paige?" you sighed, sensing you likely weren't going to enjoy her answer as the grin on her face grew.

"my kindle." "you named that thing?" "yes and you'll call her accordingly!" the brunette pointed with a playful glare. "darling i would so sincerely rather stick toothpicks into my eyes than address your kindle as if its a living thing."

"paige, address paige as a living thing." "are you cheating on me with an e-book fox?" "well she doesn't argue with me and nag me about doing my laundry after a game." "emily!" "just joking, joking again! trying to make you laugh since you have the most musical laugh babe." "kiss my ass fox." "who sounds american now?"

~

your rivarly with 'paige' only got worse as time went on, specifically as you both checked into the hotel you'd be staying at over the weekend for your little getaway.

your girlfriend had at least not pulled her kindle out the entire flight, the two of you playing a few very spirited rounds of her favourite card game instead and catching up on a few episodes of community which she had you watching for the first time.

but no sooner had you both gone out for a lovely meal together and a walk around town, retiring to the room for a glass of wine and some downtime, did paige resurface and not in the way you were expecting.

"em did you repack my case?" you questioned, sat on your knees and rifling around with a frown as your girlfriend had already settled herself in bed with her kindle in her lap ready to go.

"yeah you said i could put my big grey coat in if it fit, remember?" your girlfriend reminded as you hummed, eyebrows furrowing as you hunted around for what you wanted but came up empty handed.

"what have you lost baby?" the defender questioned as you unpacked and repacked your case for the second time.

"my books. i packed three of them and i can't find them? and i know they were in here because i was texting with lia about the series last night as i packed." you huffed in annoyance, sitting back and glaring at your now messed up case as if they might make them magically appear.

"oh those? yeah they're at home." the american confirmed, sitting up and fluffing the pillow behind her as your head slowly turned. "they're what?" you asked slowly, unsure if you'd misheard her.

"they're at home." her fingers flew across the screen with a slick click clack as she typed in the password to the kindle, not even looking at you and missing the way your eyes narrowed toward her.

"as in...they're still in london. "well that is where we live." "why are they at home?" "i unpacked them, you didn't need them." "i don't need them?" "nope."

again you waited for her to expand a little, even clearing your throat as she glanced toward you with a smile and going back to her kindle. "emily why wouldn't i need them!" you stood now, moving to stand at the end of the bed with crossed arms and a scowl.

"well if you had a kindle, you could just download whatever books you want and carry an entire library in your bag instead, without the dead weight." "are you trying to market me again? i told you i am not buying one."

"you don't need to." your girlfriend shrugged as you scoffed and threw your hands up in the air. "why? because you could click your fingers and have one magically appear for free?" you jutted your hip out and raised an eyebrow.

"you know you look very hot when you're getting all mad and dramatic." the american grinned, successfully winding you up more. "where are you going?" your girlfriend laughed as you mumbled something under your breath and turned away, sitting down on an armchair to wrestle on some shoes.

"theres a gift shop downstairs and i'm going to buy a book since i don't fancy sitting here staring at the ceiling while you get to read all evening!" you huffed, grunting as you managed to wedge your feet into your trainers without undoing the laces.

"i told you, you don't need a book."

"actually i'm now going to go and find the heaviest book i can and hit you over the head with it!" you threatened, standing and making a beeline for the door, a rustle sounding behind you.

"emily." you groaned as her hand shot out over your shoulder and pushed the door back closed as you opened it. "come here please." the girl snapped the waistband of your pajama shorts and you let out a long and deep sigh before following her.

"here." the defender rummaged around in her own suitcase for a moment before grabbing out a box and shoving it into your hands. "see? no need for any books, you're welcome." she kissed your cheek and wandered back to the bed.

it didn't take you more than a millisecond to clock what the box was for, the brand name splashed across the front as you shook your head. "you kidnapped my books so you could force me into using a kindle?" you waved the box in your hand at the brunette who nodded.

"correct, and i already purchased and loaded those same three books and the two that come after it. again; you're welcome babe." "i didn't say thank you!" "i know, i'll be waiting."

"well you'll be waiting for a long, long time!" you huffed, dropping the box back on top of her pile of clothes in her case. "where are you going now!" emily asked with a frown as again you headed for the door.

"to buy a book. then maybe while i'm at it look a new girlfriend who likes the smell of the pages and cracking open a fresh new novel, the thrill of a dog eared corner and the hefty weight of the paper in your hands. someone who appreciates reading for what it is, not something done digitally!" you rambled out with a huff, hand on the doorknob.

"baby, you're being dramatic. come here and i'll read to you, you can even close your eyes and pretend its a book!" emily opened her arms expectantly as your gaze narrowed and her face lit up more as you took a few cautious steps toward her, stopping once you'd reached the side of the bed.

"come on babe its our first night on vacation lets not argue over something so silly, come cuddle." the american patted the space between her legs as you stared her down.

her features brightened yet again as you pushed her legs together and moved to straddle her lap, lips curling into a signature smirk. "actually, why waste time reading?" you breathed out, leaning in as your lips ghosted hers.

you leaned back slightly as the american surged forward, a smile on your face as a pout appeared on hers, kindle left on the nightstand beside her as one hand grabbed the back of your neck and the other your hip trying to pull you closer for a kiss.

however right as you leaned in to do just that within seconds your arm darted out and fingers grabbed at the smooth cold metal, snatching the kindle and swinging yourself off of her, headed again for the door.

"babe what the hell? where are you going now?" emily groaned, head thumping gently against the wall behind her watching you walk away with a frustrated frown.

"oh well since you insisted on bringing 'paige' on holiday with us, i figured why should she miss out on all the fun? so i'm gonna take her for a little evening swim!" "don't you dare." "oh yeah? watch me."

again within seconds as your hand gripped the doorknob you heard the covers go flying and feet hit the floor, the door barely opened a few centimeters before a body jumped onto you and your own slammed into the door closing it again.

"give her back!" "no! you have a problem you just called an inanimate object a her!" "i said give it!" emily grunted, arms wrapping around your neck and legs clutching at your hips as you held the kindle away from your body, stumbling backwards trying to keep your balance.

"oh my god you are addicted to this thing, you need help!" "i do not! you just don't understand the future." "oh i do, i know the future is looking awfully wet for paige!"

"em!" you squealed as she managed to pull you down onto the bed, crawling on top of you as you quickly wedged the kindle under your back and fought to push her off.

the two of you bickered back and forth as you grabbed her hands and got a knee loose, pushing her off of you and trying to flee again as her arm wrapped around your neck and her leg around your waist in an attempt at some sort of sleeper hold.

you had a couple of centimeters of height on her though and held the kindle just out of reach, using it to bonk her several times on the head to try and get her to let go of you to which she protested loudly.

after a few more minutes of struggle you almost rolled off the bed, yelping as strong hands grabbed you and using that to your advantage you managed to climb back on top of her.

"are we really fighting over a kindle?" you managed to press her arms to the bed with a grip on her wrists, her chest heaving beneath you and both your faces flushed rosy pink after the tussle.

"yeah, yeah we are." your girlfriend sighed, body going limp as a beat of silence passed before you both shared a look and suddenly you were rolling off of her, both your combined laughter filling the air as you clutched your stomachs.

"this is so stupid!" you managed out with a shake of your head. "i know." the defender agreed with a chuckle of her own, both of you taking a second to calm down again.

"truce?" you held a hand up in the air, her own coming to interlock and give it a firm shake. "truce, i love you."

"i love you too." you smiled, head turning to look as hers did the same, the two of you craning your necks to sweetly peck one anothers lips a few times with some giggles, your body rolling so you laid half on top of her, legs intertwining as her heart pounded beneath your eat that was pressed against her chest.

"one thing though?" "mm?" "paige is not allowed to sleep in the bed with us."

[stevie-petey]

episode three: the case of the missing lifeguard

You glance at your door, worried your mom has heard Steve’s pathetic fall, while he clutches at his knee and groans. Through gasps of pain, he manages to respond, “Give me a second to recover my pride, Y/N.” “We need more than just a second to recover your pride.” You crawl out of bed and offer the boy your hand. “Get up, dummy.” He accepts the help and stands, brushing himself off. “Your bed is freakishly high.” “Have you ever considered that you’re just clumsy?” “I’m an athlete, angel.”

Summary: dustin blackmails you for $5 and then dubs steve as boyfriend material for you, robin cracks yet another russian code, you all almost waterboard yourselves after sneaking onto the mall's roof, you have a sexy nervous breakdown, and jonathan takes you for a drive in his sick car

Rating: general, some swearing

Warnings: swearing, use of y/n, fem!reader

Words: 7k

Before you swing in: hi my loves !! had a hectic final week of classes but im finally done !! (technically i have one more final but thats a later issue). this chapter is a lot of banter and chaos and theres some sad feelings towards the end that im a bit frightened to see the reactions to so ,,,, enjoy !

-

When your alarm goes off for work, Steve accidentally kicks you off of your bed in his panic.

“Fuck!”

Your brain barely has time to process that you’re awake as you begin to fall. “What–”

Steve manages to catch you from face planting just in time, flinging you back onto the bed as he struggles to untangle himself from the blankets. “Fuck! Sorry!”

“What’s going on?” you rub your eyes and realize that the screeching sound next to you is your alarm. Slamming your hand against it, the cloud of sleep starts to lift from your brain and you realize why Steve is a storm of chaos right now. “Oh, fuck.”

The two of you accidentally fell asleep together last night. 

He never went home, he never snuck back out your window with a kiss farewell. 

Now, as you take in the situation you’re currently in, you can hear your mother making breakfast in the kitchen, blissfully unaware that there’s a boy in her daughter’s room.

“Yeah, fuck!” Steve shakes at his leg, which is somehow twisted within your bedding and prevents him from escaping. “Get me out!”

“Shit!” You quickly untwist the bedding and free him, but as he rolls off your bed, he misjudges the height and fails to catch himself. He lands with a horrifyingly loud thud, and you throw a pillow at him. “Will you shut up?”

You glance at your door, worried your mom has heard Steve’s pathetic fall, while he clutches at his knee and groans. Through gasps of pain, he manages to respond, “Give me a second to recover my pride, Y/N.”

“We need more than just a second to recover your pride.” You crawl out of bed and offer the boy your hand. “Get up, dummy.”

He accepts the help and stands, brushing himself off. “Your bed is freakishly high.”

“Have you ever considered that you’re just clumsy?”

“I’m an athlete, angel.”

You place your hands on his chest and gently shove him towards your window. “Well, if you’re such an athlete, then it should be no problem for you to hop through this window and get to work, Harrington.”

“At least pretend you’re sad to see me leave–”

Someone knocks on your door. “Y/N? You awake yet?”

Hearing Dustin’s voice, you and Steve exchange a horrified look before you’re shoving even harder at his chest to get him out of your room. “Go!”

Steve stumbles over his feet and makes as much sound as humanly possible. He knocks into your desk and sends a stack of comics falling and he almost slips on them, only narrowly catching himself. Frustrated and bewildered that he keeps falling, he exclaims, “Why does this keep happening?”

The knocking on your door stops. A beat of silence passes before Dustin hesitantly calls through the door, “... did I just hear Steve?”

“No!” You almost throw Steve out your window with the force you shove him, which he curses at and gives you a dirty look, though you ignore him. He’s the one who got you into this fantastically horrible mess in the first place. “I–uh. I stubbed my toe!”

You anxiously wait for Dustin’s response, mentally running through all possible explanations in your head, but after a few minutes pass and you don’t hear anything; you exhale with relief. Seemingly sensing that you’re in the clear, Steve breathes out as well. “That was close.”

“Ew!” Your brother’s screech could rival the Demodogs with how loud and terrifying it is.

Gulping, Steve looks at you and laughs nervously. “Whoops?”

You glare at him. “Get out.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He kisses your forehead and does as he’s told, crawling through your window. Thankfully he lands gracefully this time, and as he begins running towards his car parked down the street, he calls over his shoulder, “See you after your shift!”

Despite your annoyance, you can’t help but laugh as you watch him run away. It’s reminiscent of the boyish charm you saw a few years ago, back when you had almost hit his car with your bike and he had pretended not to know your name in order to get you to laugh. 

Your reminiscing is cut short by Dustin’s obnoxious groaning. “Oh, god. Why did it get quiet in there? Get off my sister!”

You march over towards your door and fling it open. Your brother stands there, a horrified look on his face, and you glance behind him to make sure your mom is still in the kitchen. When the coast is clear, you sneer at him, “Nothing happened!”

“I’m fourteen, not an idiot.”

“We didn’t do anything.” When Dustin snorts at you, disbelieving, you want to strangle the kid. You’re mortified and cannot fucking believe that your little brother thinks anything else happened between you and Steve. “I swear.”

“See, I’d believe you, but mom…” He shrugs with a smug look on his horrid face. “I don’t know, Y/N.”

You drop your head and sigh, knowing where this is going. “How much money do you want?”

“$5, please. I prefer exact change, too.” He extends his arm out and opens his hand, silently demanding the money. 

“You’re horrible, you know that?” You go into your dresser and pull out a five dollar bill before handing it to him. 

Clutching the cash, Dustin smirks. “You raised me well.”

“Get out of my room.”

Hearing the anger in your voice, your brother knows he has about five more seconds before you start throwing things at him. “Yes, ma’am.”

– 

Work is slow, as usual, and when it’s time to pick up Alex from the pool, you wish Mrs. Waters a good day and get into your mom’s car that you borrowed today. With fewer shifts at the bookshop, Alex has started working at the pool to make extra money; on days when he’s there before a shift at Bookstrordinary, it’s your job to drive him to work. 

It’s pouring as you drive to the pool, setting an eerie tone on the first day of July. The summer’s heat causes the thunder to shake your car, and your knuckles are white from how tightly you hold onto the steering wheel.

When you pull up and see Alex hunched over and drenched from the rain, you laugh at him. “Well, looks like someone’s shift ended at the right time,” you say as he quickly jumps into your car. 

Alex doesn’t return your good mood. “Not funny, Y/N.”

Sensing that there’s something more to his foul mood than just being rained on, you look over at him in concern as you begin to drive. “Is everything alright over there?”

“Billy and Heather never showed up for work, so we were short handed fending off dumb kids who wanted to swim with lightning.” Alex wrings out his t-shirt and shakes his hair to dispel excess water, and you cringe as some of the water droplets land on you. “Telling a bunch of scary twelve year olds that they can’t swim… I thought I would die.”

The genuine terror in his voice is amusing, though his words unnerve you. It’s not like Billy to just not show up for work. He’s a lot of things, mainly a dickhead, but the few times you’ve driven the party to the pool, he’s always been there working; he’s dedicated to discipline. Hell, you’ve been to Max’s house, you know her family isn’t the wealthiest.

Billy can’t afford to skip work. 

“They just… never showed up?”

“Nope,” Alex curls into him in a feeble attempt to warm himself up. “We all think they ditched to hookup.”

You think about how rough Billy had looked yesterday, with fresh blood still dripping from him and the feverish chills he seemed to have. Something hadn’t been right, and a knot forms in your stomach. You highly doubt he had ditched work to go hookup with Heather, not if he’s still in the state that he was in yesterday. 

Regardless of what he’s done to you, you hope he’s okay.

Something about this feels wrong.

“Yeah, probably.” Your voice is weak as you respond to your coworker, but he doesn’t seem to pick up on your now solemn mood. 

The rest of the car ride is spent with Alex gossiping about where Billy and Heather could be, so it’s a relief when you finally arrive at Bookstrordinary and he leaves your car. You sit in the parking lot for a few minutes, your stomach twists and the knots multiply. The rain patters softly against the windshield in an almost rhythmic pattern as you try to calm yourself down with deep breaths.

The only sound in the car is your own breathing accompanied by the raindrops. 

– 

It’s Dustin’s idea to spend the day looking for evil Russians. 

Steve isn’t sure where he got the binoculars, but at this point he’s learned that it’s best to not question the kid. Makes things easier.

Which leads to now: the two of them hunched behind fake plants at Starcourt sharing binoculars as they look for people who could fit the “evil Russian” description, all while ignoring the fact that Dustin caught Steve in your room. 

“I don’t know what an evil Russian looks like.” Steve is holding the binoculars up to his eyes as he scans the food court area. He has no clue what he’s looking for and he swears that Dustin is purposely staring him down to try and get him to confess about this morning.

“Tall, blond, not smiling.” The kid responds, knowing that Steve is trying to distract him with stupid questions. He’s squirming under Dustin’s gaze, which he gets a sick joy out of. Between the $5 you coughed up and Steve’s obvious distress, it’s a pretty good day for Dustin Henderson. “Anyways, look for earpieces, camo, duffel bags, that sort of thing.”

Steve continues to look through the binoculars, relieved that Dustin seems to be playing along and hasn’t hounded him about this morning. “Right, okay. Duffle bags.”

As Steve busies himself with the search, Dustin waits a few seconds to lull him into a false sense of security. He’s been waiting all day to do this. Clearing his throat, he prepares for the attack. “Hey, uh, Steve?”

“Yeah, little Henderson?”

“While you look for evil Russians, keep an eye out for idiots who traumatize their friends by sleeping with their sisters.”

Steve yanks the binoculars away from his face as if they’ve burned him. His eyes are wide and panicked as he turns to Dustin with a horrified look on his face. “That is not what happened!”

“Tell that to the traumatized kid.” The younger teen waves a hand over himself to emphasize his point. “You owe me like, at least five years of therapy.”

“I didn’t sleep with Y/N, dude! That’s–that’s gross–”

“Are you calling my sister gross?” Dustin crosses his arms now, daring Steve to go on. 

He groans and rubs his face. “That’s not what I meant, alright? I just… She’s your sister and–and we aren’t even together–”

“That’s a good point, actually.” Dustin snatches the binoculars out of Steve’s hand and starts to look for any signs of Russians. “Why aren’t you with my sister?”

Steve stares at him, dumbfounded. “You’re sending totally mixed signals, dude. Do you want me dating Y/N or not?”

“It’s not preferable, especially when I catch you sneaking out of her window like some skeezy douchebag–”

“How many times do I have to tell you nothing happened–”

“But, besides that,” Dustin shrugs, narrowing his eyes when he sees a possible blond teen who could fit the evil Russian description. “You’re not so bad, even though you’re a massive tool for not asking out the perfect girl right in front of you.”

Steve rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose, entirely over this conversation. “You sound like Robin.”

The blond teen Dustin had been eying sits down and starts eating a hot dog, so he concludes that he isn’t Russian if he has an affinity for American food. “And Robin would be correct. Just ask Y/N out, she’s been waiting for like, at least a year now.”

“It’s not that easy.” Steve slumps over and bangs his head against the plant display they’re leaning against. “I have no idea how to ask her to be my girlfriend.”

“What, do you need my blessing or some shit?” Dustin removes the binoculars from his face and looks at the older teen, making sure to catch his eye. Then, in a horrible British accent, he says, “I give thy my blessing.”

“Thanks, buddy.” Steve deadpans, shoving the kid’s face away from his, uncomfortable with the eye contact. “But your blessing isn’t the problem. Y/N is just–she’s different and has been through a fuck ton of shit that I can’t even comprehend, and I’m just supposed to believe she wants to be with me?”

“Yeah?” Dustin cocks his head at Steve, not all understanding why he’s so confused about this. “You literally slept in her bed last night, man.”

Steve releases a quick breath and scratches his nose. He feels like an idiot and just really wishes you were here right now. “I… Well, yeah. Then there’s that.”

“It astounds me that you were once known as King Steve with a million girls drooling over him.” Dustin mumbles, baffled by the other’s patheticness, before going back to looking for Russians. 

“Let’s remember that it was my advice that got you that girlfriend of yours, alright? Girls love me, that’s never been the issue, ” Steve flicks the kid’s nose, a habit he’s picked up from you. “So cool it with the arrogance, dipshit.”

“Steve, do I need to remind you that it’s not okay to call my brother a dipshit?”

Your sudden appearance causes Steve to clutch his chest and scream. He spins around and gasps, terrified of how much you may have heard from his conversation with Dustin. “Y/N! Y-you’re here!”

“I am…” You frown, unsure why he looks so scared; normally he’s excited when you surprise him at work. 

“Uh,” Steve clears his throat and straightens his shirt out, trying to come off as collected rather than five seconds away from losing his shit. “I, uh. How much did you hear, ya know. Standing there?”

“Not much…?” Truthfully you’d been lost in thought, still worrying about Billy as you had approached the two teens hiding behind the fake plants. “All I heard was you calling my brother a dipshit.”

Steve deflates, and his reaction only confuses you further. Clearing his throat once more, he nods. “Oh. Yeah.”

You look over at Dustin, hoping for some type of clue as to what the fuck is wrong with Steve right now. “Did I miss something?”

“He was giving me horrible dating advice. Can we get back to looking for evil Russians?”

“Dating advice, huh?” You raise your eyebrows at Steve, who blushes furiously, and you giggle at his misery before turning back to Dustin. You eye the binoculars in his hand and point a finger at them. “And you can’t seriously think you’ll find evil Russians this way, right?”

“You got any better ideas, Y/N?” Your brother snarks as he brings the binoculars back up to his eyes. 

You nudge him with your shoulder. “No, but I’m positive I can think of something less childish than whatever this is.”

“Just help us look for someone tall and blond with duffel bags.” Steve sighs.

“Oh, because duffel bags are so scary and Russian.” You roll your eyes at the boys, ashamed of their antics. Their logic is flawed and biased with so many gaping holes, it’s almost comical, but it’s enough to distract you from your anxiety from earlier. “Guys, why can’t we just go back to Scoops and figure out another way–”

“Target acquired.” Dustin suddenly interrupts you. 

You share a look with Steve, who leans closer to the kid. “Where?”

“Ten o’clock. Sam Goody’s.”

Steve snatches the binoculars from Dustin’s hands and takes a look for himself, which you scoff at. They’re being ridiculous right now. However, when the older teen exhales in disbelief and announces the person has a duffel bag, your curiosity gets the better of you.

“Hand it over, pretty boy.” Before he can argue, you’ve snatched the binoculars from Steve and bring them up to your own eyes. It takes a few moments for you to find what the boys had been looking at, but when you finally spot the tall, blond man dressed in all black with sunglasses and a duffel bag, you can’t help but admit that he looks suspicious. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

Steve and Dustin turn to each other and say in unison. “Evil Russian.”

The three of you chase after the guy, weaving between the crowd of people at the mall as you trail him. You and Dustin side step a woman with her kid as Steve speeds ahead of you guys. Struggling to keep up, your brother berates Steve to slow down. 

“We’re losin’ him.” He responds, only speeding up even more. 

“You’re getting too close.” Dustin warns, and you almost trip over your shoelaces in your haste. He’s right, Steve is getting too close to the guy, and it’s making you nervous.

You quicken your footsteps and tug at his uniform. “Steve, we need to be careful–”

Suddenly the Russian looking guy stops in his tracks and slowly begins to turn around. You all scramble and try to appear casual; Dustin runs to the phone and pretends to make a call while Steve pulls you to the corner and places his hands on your waist to pull you close. 

“Pretend we’re a couple!” He whispers, throwing your hands over his shoulders. 

“This is wholly unnecessary,” you mumble, face burning at the close proximity. His fingers burn your sides, it’s been too long since he’s held you like this. 

Steve chuckles at you and pulls you in closer, enjoying the moment far more than you think is needed. “Gotta admit, this is pretty romantic.”

You roll your eyes. “Totally. Super hot hunting down evil Russian spies with you, Steve.”

“Stop sucking face, the guy is getting away!” Dustin yanks at you and tears you from Steve’s grasp, disturbed and annoyed that it only took three seconds before you distracted the teen. 

Soon you’re all following the blond guy again, and when he starts to slow down, the three of you hide behind a column and poke your heads out. Watching, you see the guy enter into the Jazzercise studio and pull a speaker from his duffel bag. 

“Oh, this is much better than him being a Russian spy.” You snort, entirely amused by how this has all unfolded. The guy unzips his hoodie and reveals an incredibly muscular physique, and you can’t help but bite your lip. “His arms… Oh my.”

Steve sees you eyeing the guy and scrowls. “His arms aren’t that nice. “ He starts pulling you away now, sending death glares at the now confirmed zumba instructor, obviously jealous. You laugh, knowing your comment would annoy him. 

“I don’t know, honey. His arms were huge.”

“Please,” Steve rolls his eyes, unamused. “They looked like twigs to me.”

“You and I both know you’re lying.”

Steve groans and kisses your hand as he tugs you towards Scoops Ahoy. “You’re killing me here, angel.”

“It’s what I do best.”

While you and Steve argue, Dustin gags at you both and sighs in disappointment. He listens to you two argue the whole way back to the ice cream shop, and he’s never wanted to bang his head against a wall more. Here Steve is, claiming he can’t ask you out, yet he’s pathetically moping about you finding some random guy’s arms hot.

Dustin thinks the poor guy is doomed. 

When you arrive at Scoops, you break away from Steve’s whining and greet Robin. “Dude, you won’t believe the hot zumba instructor we followed–”

The girl rushes past you, not at all acknowledging your presence, as she exits the shop. You stop walking and share a confused look with Dustin and Steve as you all watch Robin run outside and jump on top of one of the benches. 

“What the hell?” You follow after her, concerned by her franticness. 

Robin is mumbling under her breath when you catch up, repeating the first sentence of the Russian code you deciphered over and over again as she spins and looks around the mall. “A trip to China sounds nice.”

“Hey, is everything okay?”

“A trip to China…” She ignores you as her eyes scan around the area once more. She looks as if she’s searching for something, repeating the phrase to herself.

You look around as well, not fully understanding what she’s doing, but it’s clear she’s at least looking for something to match the sentence. In the center of the food court, all you see are chain restaurants and vendors. Frustrated, you sigh. “Robin, I’m not sure what we’re looking for.”

“There!” She points at a restaurant called the Imperial Panda. “A trip to China!”

Bits of the code start to piece together in your head. If the message corresponds to stores in the mall… Unsure if you’re understanding Robin correctly, you hesitantly point towards the local shoe store up above. “If you tread lightly?”

“Yes! God, I knew you were the smart one in that weird trio!” Robin nods eagerly and tries to recall the rest. “When–when blue and yellow meet in the west. What could that mean?”

You both spin around, trying to find anything that could align with the line. As you’re studying a poster sign, Robin snaps her fingers and nods her head towards the giant clock that hangs below a bay window. Its hands are blue and yellow. “Think this could be it?”

“Robin Buckley, you’re a genius!” You throw your arms around her, in disbelief that she was able to figure the bizarre Russian code out all on her own. 

Robin is stiff in your arms for a moment, having not expected the praise, before she slowly melts into the embrace. She coughs slightly, her voice a pitch higher than usual. “It was easy enough to figure out.” 

“Robin, Y/N,” Steve and Dustin now join. “What are you two doing?”

“She cracked it!” You pull away from Robin but keep an arm thrown over her shoulder. 

Steve frowns. “Cracked what?”

Robin gently shoves your arm off and jumps down the bench she had been on. Stepping towards the boys, she leans in close, a glint in her eye. “I cracked the code.” 

–

“Is this even legal?” You shout over the thunder, shivering as the rain from the storm soaks through your clothes and into your bones as you sit with Steve and the others on the mall’s rooftop to spy on Russians.

You’re not at all sure how you ended up in this situation. 

When Robin had cracked the code, you figured that the four of you would ask the other mall employees about their delivery shifts. Maybe hide out in Steve’s car and watch for deliveries during the day, eliminate other variables. 

What you didn’t think the four of you would do, however, is sneak onto the roof of the mall in the pouring rain for an impromptu stakeout. 

Thunder rumbles above you as lightning strikes, causing you to jump further into Steve’s side. He wraps an arm around you and rubs soothing circles to try and comfort you, knowing that this entire situation is your nightmare.

Seeing your fear, Robin tries to reassure you. “We’re fine, Y/N.” Then she turns to Dustin, who is holding his stupid binoculars up as he surveys the group of delivery men below you. “Look for Imperial Panda and Kaufman Shoes.”

Your brother takes a moment to look around before he spots something. “They’re with that whistling guy, ten o'clock.”

You look down and watch the guy cart a series of boxes into the shipment alleyway. “It’s just a bunch of boxes, guys.”

“Sure, but what do you think’s in there?” Steve questions, absentmindedly drawing you closer for warmth when he feels you shiver again. He loaned you his raincoat, but clearly it doesn’t seem to be helping much with how much he can feel you shiver. A twinge of guilt sears through him for putting you through this in the first place.

“Guns, bombs?” Dustin guesses.

Robin throws in her own suggestions. “Chemical weapons?” 

“How about delicious noodles and sensible shoes? Why haven’t we considered those as options?” Your teeth are chattering now as more rain slams against you.

“Shut up, Y/N.” Dustin raises his binoculars up again. “Whatever it is, they’re armed to the teeth.”

“Armed?” You exclaim as more thunder clashes. Your switchblade warms in your pocket ominously; you didn’t sign up for men wielding fucking weapons. 

“Great.” Steve wipes water out of his face, feeling just as overwhelmed and defeated as you. “That’s great.”

The metal doors in the alleyway start to open, and faintly you can see the outline of more boxes within the storage room, it looks almost like a vault, though it’s hard to tell. Next to you, Robin squints as well. “What’s in there?”

“It’s just more boxes.” Dustin has to raise his voice in order to be heard over the rain.

Steve reaches for the binoculars. “Let me beck it out.”

However, he only ends up in an intense game of tug-of-war with Dustin as they start to fight over the binoculars. They grapple over it, argue about who needs it more, before the rain causes the thing they’re fighting over to slip out of their hands and bang harshly against the guardrail. 

The noise rings out through the night and catches the men’s attention from below. Gasping, you yank everyone down before they can see you. Instinctively your hand reaches for Steve’s while Robin reaches for your other hand. With your backs to the ground, the four of you pant as the adrenaline of almost being caught courses through you. 

Steve looks over at you to make sure you’re okay, and his eyes land on Robin’s fingers intertwined through yours. He frowns a bit, finding the physical affection from her odd, but sends her teasing wink.

When Robin sees his wink, she only clenches her jaw and turns away before releasing your hand. 

– 

“Well, I think we found your Russians.” Robin says as you all re-enter the mall.

“That was too close.” You mutter, wringing out your soaked t-shirt as your hair drips onto the floor. While the others seem to have already forgotten how the men with giant guns almost found you on the roof, you haven’t. It’s been on your mind the last ten minutes; it’s all you can fucking think about. 

You’re in too deep again. You can feel it. 

Dustin passes you and now walks in step with Robin. “What’s our plan now?” 

“Well, strange child, I think it’s obvious that we gotta break into the vault.”

“I’m sorry?” You step in between them now, not at all liking what you’re hearing. “No one is breaking into anything. Do you have any idea how dangerous and stupid that is?”

“C’mon, Y/N, loosen up a little!” Dustin whines, wanting you to just be on his side for once. 

“Loosen up? Guys, this is serious.” You look around at the others, lacing your voice with urgence. “We could be dealing with a national crisis, this isn’t just some stupid spy mission. We aren’t at all qualified to handle this.”

“I mean, aren’t we?” Steve hesitantly speaks up. When your angry eyes meet his, he flinches slightly. “Y/N, I know you’re scared, but–”

“I’m not scared.”

“We’ve been through… a lot,” his eyes flick over towards Robin, knowing she’s listening and that he can’t reveal too much. “All we’re doing is breaking into a vault. I mean, c’mon. We can do that, easily.”

Dustin nods eagerly at Steve’s words and Robin hums in approval. The three of them seem to almost form a unit against you, which makes you draw into yourself. Suddenly you feel like the odd man out, with no one on your side. Feeling panicked and defensive, your anger rises. “We shouldn’t have to break into anything! We can call Hopper, tell him what’s happening and at least have someone else on our side in case something happens.”

“Oh, like Hopper would believe us.” Dustin scoffs at you as if you’re some idiot, which doesn’t help the insecurity you feel.

“I know he’d listen to me.” You still regret having not called Hopper two years ago when you had found El in the woods. Had you told him about her sooner, about everything sooner, you know that you would’ve saved your brother and everyone else the heartache they endured because of you. 

You can’t make the same mistake again. You refuse to. 

Robin tries to appease you. “Look, we can just take a peek inside the vault, maybe dig through a box or two, then we can rat the Russians out to the cops! I promise, we won’t be doing anything dangerous.”

“We don’t know that.” 

Your words ring throughout the empty hallway the four of you stand in. An echo follows them, as if taunting you of your fears and worries, and no one says anything else. You all stand there, frozen, with Robin, Steve, and Dustin facing you. As if there’s a line now dividing them from you.

Steve’s heart pounds in his chest as your eyes land on him, silently pleading with him to say something, anything. “Y/N…”

But he can’t. Even though he heard the rising anxiety in your voice, even though he knows the weight behind the words you’ve yelled, Steve can’t meet your eye.

He knows that you carry so much guilt within you, and he wishes he could offer you more. He’s torn between wanting to defend you and ease the fear that you’ve confessed to him before, how you feel this overwhelming need to protect the ones you love, but he also wants to follow through with the Russians. To see where it takes him, if he can redeem himself. 

You stand before the three others, chest rising and falling rapidly, wondering if you’ve gone too far this time. 

Dustin is the one who steps forward first. He stares at you for a moment, his eyes sad, knowing that there’s more to your reluctance than just the possible danger. He understands how hard you fight to keep him safe, and how much harder you blame yourself when something goes wrong. With a sigh, your brother grabs your hand and starts to pull you away from the others.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Dustin says to Steve and Robin. Then, with an uncharacteristically gentle voice, he says to you, “let’s go home.”

You’re too tired to argue and you’re afraid you’ll start crying if you try to say anything else, so you follow after your brother and leave Steve and Robin alone in the hall.

– 

At home, you lay in bed trying to ignore the twisting feeling in your stomach that you’ve let everyone down. That you’ve let Steve down. You’ve never really argued with him before, at least not like this. You’re not even sure if you can call what happened earlier an argument, and the thought makes you groan and shove your face into your pillows.

You’re exhausted. 

As your thoughts spiral, your phone rings. 

“Hello?”

“Hey, bug.”

Jonathan’s voice settles over you in slow, soothing waves. You close your eyes, having not known how much you needed him until now. “Hi, bee.”

“You sound tired.” He notes with slight worry, always able to read you.

You sigh. “It’s… been a long day.” 

He hums over the phone, and the sound is familiar and lovely, though just as tired. “You too, huh?”

“I take it you’re not doing too well, either?”

“No,” he sighs, a slight gruffness to it. “Meet me in your driveway in ten minutes?”

“Deal.” 

He hangs up and you crawl out of bed, despite your aching bones protesting. You throw on a hoodie knowing to ward off July’s brisk night air and lazily lace up your sneakers. Slowly, so as to not make any loud noise, you open your door and poke your head out. 

The house is quiet. Your mom and Dustin must be asleep in their rooms, so you softly close your door and make your way outside. 

It doesn’t take long before Jonathan’s car pulls into your driveway. He has his headlights off, long familiar with the routine of picking you up late at night for drives around town. The two of you used to do it every night the summer he first got his license. 

You get into the car and the heat kisses your cheeks. Jonathan greets you with a tired smile as you put your seatbelt on, and when you nod your head at him, he starts the car and drives.

Neither of you say anything for a while as Jonathan drives the route you always take together. He has an old mix tape playing and you hum along, familiar with the songs. It’s peaceful, your fears from earlier have now faded; for now, it’s just you and Jonathan as you drive around Hawkins. 

“I’m sorry for being M.I.A recently.” He finally says after a while. You sit up a bit, knowing he’s ready now to talk about what’s brought him here tonight. The two of you never just drive around anymore for the fun of it, you know he’s here because there’s something bothering him. “Nancy has been… worrying me.”

You lean closer to Jonathan, now concerned. “Is everything okay between you two?”

“Honestly?” He breathes in shakily. “I–I don’t know.”

“Talk to me, bee.” You grab his hand that rests on the stick shift.

And he does. He explains about a woman named Mrs. Driscoll who called the Hawkins Post and how Nancy had decided to check out the story without telling their boss, roping Jonathan into it. He explains the rat they saw at the woman’s house, how it had looked sick, maybe infected with rabies, and how he had taken pictures of it to show their boss. 

When Nancy showed the men at the newspaper what they found, they had all laughed and belittled her. 

As Jonathan tells the story, he shakes his head in anger. “They were horrible to her, bug.”

You sigh, feeling awful for Nancy as well. “She’s smarter than all those men combined. She deserves better.”

“She does,” Jonathan shakes his head again. “But Tom, our boss, ordered her to drop the story. But Nancy…”

“Refuses to back down?” You guess, knowing how stubborn and passionate the girl is.

Jonathan swallows. “Yeah.”

“What happened tonight, Jonathan?” You sense there’s something he isn’t telling you, that there’s more to this than just men being shitty to Nancy at work.

“Nance, she–uh. She wouldn’t back down, even after I told her I was scared we’d get fired if we kept investigating Mrs. Driscoll, but she–she needed to prove she was right and I just–I can never tell her no. She’s relentless, ambitious, it’s what I love about her, but… Y/N, we found Mrs. Driscoll eating fertilizer after breaking into her house.”

“Oh my god,” you gasp and drop Jonathan’s hand. “Is she okay? What happened?”

“I don’t know.” Jonathan clenches his jaw. “We called for help and they took her to the hospital. When I dropped Nancy off at home, she… She wants to go visit the woman in the hospital.”

You’re silent for a moment, now understanding why Jonathan seems so shaken up. “Nancy still wants her story.”

“She does.”

“And you think she’s going too far.”

“I do.”

You sigh. “Jonathan…”

“I don’t know what to do, Y/N!” He raises his voice now, his anger surfacing. “I mean, we could get fired and she doesn’t seem to care! When Tom finds out that we’re the ones who put Mrs. Driscoll in the hospital… I–I can’t lose this job, bug. I can’t. Especially not because of some douchebags my girlfriend wants to prove wrong.”

As Jonathan unravels, your heart aches for both him and Nancy. It’s a tough situation, you understand both sides, and you can’t imagine having to go through any of it. 

Sighing, you grab his hand again and try to find the right words. “You have every right to feel scared, bee. I completely understand, this job means so much more to you than just some summer activity like it does for Nancy, but…” You bite your lip, worried you’ll say the wrong thing. “I also think Nancy’s ambition is admirable. From the stories she’s told me, those men are fucking vile and treat her like shit. I think you should try being more supportive of her.”

“How am I supposed to be supportive if I lose my job?”

You sigh again. “By holding her hand and recognizing that while it’s hard being poor in this world, it’s also hard being a woman. Both of you have a reason to be upset, and while I’m not saying it’s fair of Nancy to disregard your financial situation, I think you both need to sit down and talk about this without the other getting defensive.”

Jonathan rolls his eyes. “Neither one of us gets defensive.”

“You two are the most defensive and prideful people I’ve ever met, it’s a miracle you haven’t fought until now.”

He laughs at this, knowing you’re right. “Maybe another conversation wouldn’t hurt… I just, what’s going to happen tomorrow?”

You shrug. “I can’t tell you that, but I can tell you that you’ll need Nancy just as much as she’ll need you, okay?”

“It frustrates me how you always manage to say the right thing.”

“You’ve known me for years now, it’s your fault for not getting used to it.” 

Jonathan laughs again and his shoulders relax, his anger and fear now dissipating. While he’s still unsure what tomorrow will bring, he knows that at least he’ll have you. Then the two of you drive past Steve’s house and Jonathan remembers how tired you sounded earlier on the phone.

“So, we gonna talk about why you had such a long day today?” Though it’s phrased as a question, you know that Jonathan understands if you don’t want to answer.

However, your own fears weigh heavily on your mind and you indulge him, because you always do. “Dustin intercepted a Russian code a few days ago and roped Steve, Robin, and I into helping him decipher it.”

“A Russian code?”

“Yeah. Not sure if I can explain it any better than that, honestly.”

Jonathan raises his eyebrows at you. “Is it anything dangerous?”

“I don’t know,” you groan, dropping your head into your knees. “That’s the million dollar question right now. Dustin and everyone else wants to keep investigating this, they want to break into a goddamn vault, and I just… I have a bad feeling about this, bee.”

“What does Steve think about all of this?” His voice is light, but his hands tighten ever so slightly on the steering wheel. You see this and look away, knowing he won’t like what you’re about to say.

“He’s why I sounded so tired earlier,” you confess, eyes closed. “He wouldn’t listen to me tonight, and I just–”

You stop mid sentence, your words catching in your throat. Jonathan looks over at you with concern and makes a quick decision to pull to the side of the road and park. “Hey, bug. Look at me.” Swallowing back tears, you do as you’re told. When your eyes meet his, Jonathan brings your hand to his lips. “Talk to me.”

“I’m terrified he’ll be another ‘almost.”

Jonathan’s lips ghost over your hands and you feel his breath stutter slightly at your words. He knows the pain that comes with “almost”, he knows he’s the reason why the word stings your tongue as you say it out loud. “He’s not another ‘almost’, Y/N.”

“I don’t know anymore.” Tears start to fall down your face and you’re mortified. You hate the words coming out of your mouth, they feel like a betrayal to Steve and the promise you made him, and you hate that you’re saying all this to Jonathan. “He–he seems interested, sometimes, but it’s July now and–and he hasn’t… He couldn’t even look me in the eye tonight, Jonathan.”

Jonathan doesn’t say anything. He can’t say anything. 

You’re crying in his passenger seat over a boy you love, a boy who isn’t him, and all Jonathan can do is hold your hands as you cry. 

“I’m sorry, bug.” He apologizes for more than just your upset over Steve. Jonathan apologizes for it all, for the years between you two, for the almosts and what if’s and missed chances.

“Yeah. I am, too.” You wipe your eyes, embarrassed now. “Can you, uh, take me home, please?”

Jonathan nods and wordlessly starts the car again.

It feels like last year, back to being unsure about love and relationships and being exhausted by it all, and you can’t help but laugh at the irony of it. The small laugh turns into a louder one, then into full body hysterics, and Jonathan worries for a second that you’ve lost your mind. “Y/N, you’re scaring me a little.”

You clutch at your stomach and laugh even harder. “S-sorry, I just–oh my god. I can’t believe I–I’m here again.”

“I’m lost.”

“Just drive, bee.” You try to calm yourself down, though giggles still rise through your chest. You think you’re delirious, honestly. 

Yet some things never change, and it feels good to be in Jonathan’s car and breathless from laughter, even if your heart aches as you do so. 

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if you would like to be added/removed from my taglist, just let me know :)

⌑  taglist: @siriuslysmoking @sheisjoeschateau @thytorturedpoet @innercreationflower @juhdoche @frostandflamesfanfic @goosy-goose @quinnsadilla @munsons-queen @stefansring @rice-elephant @bex22109 @bitchkeery @bex22109 @officerrrfriendly @kazunish @idkitsem @emilieluckwood @ryoujoking @criesinlies @tagakalat @dcnerd98 @sucker-4-angst @kitdjarin1 @onecojg @innazra @areiofhope @spaghetittied @cultish-corner @g8sstuff @videogamesandpoorlifechoices @hsllfirescoops @l0ve-0f-my-life @newyorkangelbaby @aliceespector @chervbs @poppet055 @bookkeeperlove @bellenotthebeast @swiftieblyth @​ladyobscurus @moon-flowerrs @estaticheart @dreamingofts18 @lanxsee @thecapricunt1616 @aheadfullofsteverogers @marvel-and-music @angie2274 @thescoopstroopers @xuimhao @rh1nestonecowg1rl @shelby-ren @carinacassiopeiae @eddiemunson-86-baby @ribbetzetoad @harryssideboobz @cherrycherry19 @mamamakaylamorgan23 @slttygeto @alltoomay @hiraethavis @torntaltos @eeniemeenie @latenightreadingpdf

[snowball-doie]

| pairing: sub!Haechan x Dom!fem!Reader

| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Intox kink (He's already drunk, you get him more drunk). Belt bondage. Noona kink. Sex toys (Hitachi wand). Little bit of biting from Hyuck. Female and male orgasms. Fem!oral. Male edging and overstimulation.

| wc: 3.4k

| aurora's note: this was originally written as a fem!oc x haechan inspired oc fic. i tried to change all the names and pronouns accordingly, but please let me know if i missed anything. thanks!

He thought it was oh-so-cute to come home all smug and tipsy after the boys’ anniversary event. You had attended— Thanks to Haechan who got you good tickets as a gift— but after the show, he said that he was going out with the boys for a planned dinner, and that he would meet you at home later. So you waited. Patiently. Despite the clock hitting midnight and your eyes getting heavy, you waited up for him because you knew that he was out having fun with his friends, and he promised that he would come home, and you trusted him on that, so you weren’t going to rush him like a bitch. You weren’t his mother, nor were you an overbearing partner. You could wait for him. However, when he showed up in his drunken state with a cockiness that took you by surprise, you found yourself completely endeared by him. How adorable,” you had thought to yourself.

“You looked so pretty tonight, noona…” he muttered as he stumbled into the living room where you sat on the couch in your pajamas. “So, so pretty… In that tight dress…” He whined pathetically at the thought.

Had you seen Haechan drunk before? Absolutely. But you had been in public the first time so he wasn’t so focused on you when his friends were teasing him, and the other time had been over FaceTime while he was on tour so he passed out in his hotel room shortly after calling you. This was cute of him. Annoying, but cute. You wondered how much he had drunk. Was it enough to want you as badly as you wanted him while watching him on stage earlier in the night? Did he realize how good he had looked in that black outfit of his with the belts and leather all over his body; and when he had dropped to his knees so easily for Doyoung, you damn near fainted. But you tried to keep your cool in order to overcome his confidence so that he couldn’t assume for a second that he ever had the upper hand.

“I wanted to fuck you in the bathroom before the show,” he continued. As he got closer, you could see just how red his cheeks were thanks to the alcohol. His eyes looked dizzy. His mouth was curled up into an infinite grin. “I didn’t have time…” Slowly, he dropped to his knees. “But now I do.”

You allowed him to entertain you. You had no expectations of allowing him to have his way with you, not when you had waited for him for so long, and he had looked as good as he did. No, no, you would let him have his fun, then you would have yours.

So Haechan dropped to his knees in front of you— Just like he had on stage in front of all those people. He smirked even wider.

“I brought more home.”

You raised a confused brow at him. Just then, in response, Haechan pulled two shooters out of his jacket pockets, and he held them out for you to inspect. Oh. He untwisted one of the bottles for you so that he could take it. Oh, how he knew you so well. He had been so disappointed that time on tour when he knocked out because he had called you with the intention of getting off, because you both had an intox kink that you hadn’t yet explored together since you started dating; but because he passed out, you didn’t get the chance to really go for it. Now that he was in front of you, however, there was nothing to stop you. Ah, freakin’ adorable…

“For me?” you asked teasingly, your left hand cupping the bottom of his chin.

Haechan nodded. His eyes were glazing over with lust, he was rubbing his thighs together in order to give the growing erection in his sweatpants some relief, and he was staring at you with a look that said, “I need you so badly.”

“Open up.”

He obeyed immediately, his jaw falling slack, his tongue sticking out.

“Tilt.”

He leaned his head back. You were being constantly reminded of how he had done the same exact thing a couple of hours earlier on stage, and how ever since then, Twitter was having a meltdown because there were thousands upon thousands of fangirls out there who were dreaming of having Haechan on his knees for them, but the only person who actually had the privilege of that was you.

With a tough grasp on his chin, you put the opening of the shooter against Haechan's lower lip. Once you were sure you had a steady grip on him and that he wouldn’t spill anything, you began slowly pouring the shot into his mouth, watching as he swallowed bit by bit while maintaining strong, confident, bratty eye contact with you. The second you were done, you reached for the other. He must have been expecting a break or a tad of leniency, but how could you possibly give that to him when he had practically given himself over like a gift on your birthday or something? It was the most perfect thing you could have hoped for— And you sure were glad that you waited up for him as promised. So you opened the other, and you kept him steady while you poured the next shot.

“Don’t swallow.”

He watched you carefully, his mouth full, his lips pursing together to keep everything in, and his cheeks puffed to make room for all the alcohol stored inside. His breath picked up bit. You could tell that the more alcohol he drank, the more gone he was. The way he was really rolling his hips to get a bit of friction for his erection was a tell-tale sign that he couldn’t wait much longer, but you were going to make him wait regardless.

“Okay.”

Haechan swallowed hard then caught his breath. “Noona…”

And that did it. Your head started spinning even without a sip of alcohol yourself. “Be good and go grab my toy from me.” His eyes widened and he started scrambling to his feet pathetically. “Or is my baby too drunk for that?”

“No, no, no, I’m okay—” His hip hit the couch as he ran towards the bedroom in search of your toy. You grinned.

When Haechan returned, he was busy investigating the Hitachi wand’s settings on the side of the handle to see if the toy was charged or if he needed to improvise with getting more batteries, or maybe even a different toy even though you had asked for that one. Once the toy had buzzed to life, slightly startling Haechan, he turned it off then handed it over to you. His eyes were wide while watching you. He was investigating your every movement, curious as to what the hell you had planned and how he was going to participate in it.

You slid your pajama shorts off in order to reveal more of yourself, uncovering your thighs completely, but not giving Haechan any view of your breasts which he loved to suck on. His breath hitched at the sight. That was at least enough to see some of you, but not all of you, and though it wasn’t exactly what he wanted, at least it was something, so Haechan dared to reach out and touch you, but you immediately stopped him.

“Don’t touch.”

His other hand disregarded your warning, squeezing your thigh possessively.

You tsked your tongue. “Take off your belt, baby.”

Thinking that it would get him some kind of reward— He really must have been drunk to assume that— Haechan eagerly tore the belt off his waist after struggling with the buckle for a few embarrassing moments; but once he noticed that you were holding your hand out for it, he froze. So it wasn’t for his benefit, after all.

“Spin.”

Reluctantly, he rotated around on his knees so that his back was facing you.

“Wrists.”

He swallowed hard and put his hands behind his back. Was a belt the ideal means for bondage? Absolutely not. But was it what you had on hand? Yep. Careful not to hurt him, you looped the belt around his wrists and made sure it was tight enough that he couldn’t escape but not so tight that it would do any damage.

“Face me again.”

Haechan turned around with a pout on his face. Seemed that he was less than content with not being able to be a brat and try to touch you anymore, especially with the enticing appearance of his girlfriend sitting right in front of him. He looked cute. To his surprise, you lifted your right leg to go over his left shoulder. A gulp and a shivering breath escaped Hyuck before he slowly drifted his gaze downwards to the space between your legs which he could now see so clearly, including the wet spot forming in your panties which you had worn specifically for him as a gift to celebrate eight years with NCT 127. He whined loudly this time to make it known that he was upset with you for restraining him, but that only made you more happy to mess with him the way you had planned— You didn’t even waste any time turning the toy on and pressing it against your clit.

“Fuck, noona,” he croaked before you could even react to the pleasure with a moan or a buck of your hips.

You threw your head back against the couch. It felt good. You had been so pent up ever since you saw Haechan on his knees at the concert and you imagined having him like that for you… And now that he was exactly where you wanted him, you were on cloud 9. The toy felt so fucking good. There had been so many times when the two of you were in bed together and Haechan was thrusting into you at an uncontrolled pace and he pressed the toy against your clit to make sure you came around his length over and over again just to make you melt and lose every bit of sanity you had to offer. But now you could use it on yourself to feel good while simultaneously punishing your boyfriend for looking so damn fine at the show and having the audacity to be that submissive on stage.

“Feels so good, Hyuck,” you teased him with a moan.

He struggled at your feet in an attempt to touch you, but the belt prevented him from budging. You moaned to really sell it. You wiggled your hips and pressed the toy roughly against you in order to feel its full power. It truly felt good, but beyond that it was fun to play with Hyuck. You loved that he had to sit there and watch as you pleased himself and there was nothing he could do about it. He had to yearn to touch you. Had to deal with not being able to touch himself. Poor thing was falling apart in front of you, and you were enjoying every ounce of pleasure that was bringing you closer and closer to the edge.

Out of nowhere, you were shocked when you felt teeth nip at the inside of your thigh. You sat up a bit, the toy still against you, and you looked down to find that Haechan was resting his cheek against your inner thigh where he had bit you, and he was batting his eyes innocently while giving you a puppy dog pleading look.

“Don’t,” you warned him before moaning again.

He didn’t obey, however. He turned to nip you again, this time his teeth gently pulling on the skin— It didn’t hurt, but it was certainly a surprise.

“You—” You gulped. “You’re not supposed… Fuck… Don’t touch, baby.”

“I’m not touching,” he replied with a grin.

“Brat.” Suddenly the toy hit a different angle when your wrist slipped and you had to readjust. “I’m gonna fucking cum, baby.”

As Haechan bit into your thigh one more time, you were sent completely over the edge, your legs shaking against the couch and Haechan's head. You moaned his name loudly. Your back arched off the cushions, and one of your hands left the handle of the toy in order to pull on Haechan's black hair, earning a pathetic grunt for him.

You removed the bulb of the toy from your clit as your high disappeared. While you expected to catch your breath and think of what to do next with Haechan, you were caught completely off guard when Haechan leaned forward and began sucking your clit desperately, his tongue lapping at the overstimulated bud while you whined and rolled your hips in a futile attempt to get away from him or push him away. He was so quick and aggressive that you didn’t have any time to react. His tongue had completely discombobulated you— The overstimulation was so painful yet pleasurable that you started seeing stars.

“S-stop—”

But he continued to lick up every bit of your wetness and the cum that was slowly seeping out of you.

“Brat…” you croaked, finally getting a good grip on his hair again in order to tug him away. His tongue stretched out in an attempt to reach you, but you moved him so far away that you were finally able to sit upright and close your legs enough that he didn’t have any access anymore. He whined.

“Funny,” you said sarcastically with a stern tone and a flat face. “What happened to no touching?”

“You never said anything about using my tongue.” He stuck it out teasingly. “I was just helping you out… Like a good boy!” He grinned innocently, knowing damn well that he was anything but.

You squinted at him. “My drunk boy is having a hard time listening tonight. Am I going to have to gag you, too? Back talking me and overstimulating me…” You tsked your tongue. “Such a shame because I was considering rewarding you for looking so cute while you’re drunk and desperate for me.”

Haechan turned a darker shade of red in response to the mixture of praise and degradation that had his head spinning even more.

“But alas…”

Reaching down smoothly, you pressed the tip of the wand against Haechan's erection that was still trapped in his sweatpants. When you turned it on, Haechan toppled forward. He let out the most beautiful moan that you had ever heard in your entire life; and his forehead was pressed against your knee, nearly your inner thigh, while he tried to bear the overwhelming pleasure of the vibrator being turned up to high against his hard shaft.

“F-fuck—” His breath shuddered.

“Feel good?”

He nodded eagerly.

So you did the only reasonable thing by turning the toy off.

“No!” He sat up completely off the floor in search of the thing that was giving him enough pleasure that he was chasing his high already. So that was how little stamina he had while drunk. Fun. “Please, please, please, I’m sorry.”

“Are you?”

He kept nodding so fast that his hair was all over the place, even to the point that it began sticking to his forehead. “Please.”

You obliged him by turning the toy on again. Haechan slumped with relief. A string of moans left him, some mixed with curse words, others sounding like prayers that had your name attached to them. You grinned. Drunk, horny, and desperate for you was the perfect image of Haechan.

“I’m close again…”

How he didn’t expect it, you couldn’t begin to imagine, but maybe it was the alcohol tricking him into thinking that you would be kinder than you actually were— Especially after he pulled his little stunt at the end there. But you removed the toy again.

“Fuck!” he whined. “Please… I was gonna cum…”

“Nope.”

But then you put it back, earning you the reaction of having Haechan strain against the belt that was holding his wrists together behind his back.

“Please—”

So you took it away.

His cheek desperately caressed your inner thigh as a sign that you recognized as his silent way of begging for more when his head was spinning too fast to get the words out properly. You took some pity on him. Putting it on the lowest setting, you let the wand hover just barely over his erection, making him shiver.

“Thank you… Thank you… Thank… Fuck…” His words were beginning to slur. “Just like that, noona, please, please, noona, I love you, fuck, don’t stop, please, please—” He bit his lip and screwed his eyes shut as tightly as he physically could. “More, noona, please… I’ll be good this time…” He slumped. “Please…” And what took you out completely was the way he opened his eyes in order to look up at you through his lashes, his eyelids heavy, his cheeks so red that you could have been tricked into thinking that he had layered on tons of blush just to impress you.

“I want you to remember this moment,” you told him seriously, leaning forward to look him in the eye, “and how I’m the one you’re begging for while you’re on your knees, looking all pretty for me.”

He nodded.

“Don’t ever get on your knees for anyone else again. Understand?”

“Yes, noona.”

“Good boy.” As you turned the toy up to the max setting again, Haechan let out a scandalously loud moan until you silenced him with a rough kiss. He tasted like alcohol. You wondered if you kissed him for long enough if you could get drunk off of him— Maybe next time it would be way more fun if you were both drunk. “Cum,” you muttered into his mouth.

His ability to kiss you back and stay completely upright faded as he began to approach his high with the permission he had been desiring since he came home and saw you sitting on the couch. To make sure he wouldn’t escape you or hurt himself by the off chance, you gripped his hair tightly to make sure he stayed up, and that doubled as a cover to abuse him just slightly, and that was what did it from him.

“Noona…” he whimpered. His hips bucked upwards into the toy, his eyes closed once more to focus on his twitching cock in his pants, and he let out a string of moans that made you swoon. “Thank you…” He wavered slightly.

“My good boy.” To get back at him for what he had done to you, you bit Haechan's bottom lip, and you continued to press the toy against the wet spot of his cargo pants. He began thrashing. “Shhh,” you cooed, “just take it.”

“Please,” he mumbled.

You continued to ignore him— You even grew wicked by moving the toy along his shaft to make sure it really hurt. Haechan began whining more, his hips pulling away in the hopes that he wouldn’t be within reach of you anymore, but he was unsuccessful.

“Noona, please, I can’t.”

Though that wasn’t a safe word or any warning sign, you were inclined to finally show some pity on him now that he had ruined his pants. You turned the toy off then threw it to your side on the couch. Haechan crumbled. He panted and nearly drooled on himself, his thoughts so far gone that you knew he was officially tapped out, even if he indicated that he wanted to continue by some miracle.

“You did so good, baby,” you praised him kindly with a smile. “You feel good?” You grabbed him by the chin to make sure he looked back up at you when he nodded, his eyes barely open. “Good boy.” He smiled at you, all dumbed out. You smiled back at him. “Let’s get you cleaned up before bed.”

With one last kiss, Haechan slumped to allow you to stand slightly and remove the belt from his wrists— And once he was free, Haechan jumped at the chance to stand on shaky legs, wrap his arms around your waist, and kiss you once more. You smiled. He was really, really cute when drunk.

taglist: @rubblerouser

[theenbyroiderer]

One more tutorial. I think this is the last one I have for now.

Here's how you stitch a 3D jellyfish. This is a more advanced tutorial. Prior experience with most of the stitches is recommended.

Materials: You'll need several needles, at least one shorter and one really long. I've used sashiko needles in three lengths, 4 cm, 5.5 cm and 8.5 cm. As for yarn, I think you can use whatever you have. Most of it can be done with six-stranded floss, but you'll need some thicker woolen yarn for the fluffy turkey stitch. I used fine d'aubusson (a fine wool embroidery yarn) for the body, six-stranded floss (2-3 strands) for most of the tentacles, a shiny silky embroidery floss for the edge of the body and a couple tentacles, and knitting yarn scraps for the turkey stitch.

Stitches: satin stitch, bullion stitch, padded satin stitch, buttonhole stitch, drizzle stitch and turkey stitch. Please look up stitch instructions on youtube, and do a bit of practice beforehand. This project is probably not a good practice run for these stitches.

Time: depends on the size of your jellyfish. I made quite a large one and it took me about 5 hours to complete.

1. Make a sketch of your jellyfish. At least of the body. Fill this body from edge to edge with bullion stitch, make them a bit longer than the body is wide so that they are somewhat loose. You should be able to get a finger underneath the bullion, depending on the size of your jellyfish.

2. Then it's time to satin stitch the body. For this part it's important that the needle goes through the fabric as close to where it came up as possible. The goal is not just to make a 3D body, but to make it a hollow 3D body. Don't just stitch over the bullion, stitch around it. It's also important to not pull too tight. Bullion stitch of this lenght is rather malleable, so it's a bit tricky to keep the satin stitch even. Hold a finger in the hollow underneath the bullion as you pull the thread tight. This will stop it from getting to tight, as well as make sure you keep the hollow. As the stitching gets thicker the hollow will get smaller, but that's ok.

3. When the top part of the body is fully stitched it's time to do normal flat satin stitch for the bottom part, the inside of the body of you will. Leave an opening in the middle though, you'll need some space for the drizzle and turkey stitch later.

4. This is a good time to give the edge some definition. Do buttonhole stitch around the top edge, then you go around and do another row of buttonhole stitch, kinda the other way around, through the loops from the first row. Hopefully you can see from the pictures what I've done. The bottom edge of the body doesn't need defining and won't be very visible anyway, so I just did some sloppy stitches along there and called it good enough.

5. Now it's time for the tentacles. Start with the drizzle stitch, because the turkey stitch will just get in the way if you start with that... but do remember to leave space for the turkey stitch underneath the drizzle stitch. This is where you need the loooong needle. Pack as much drizzle stitch on that needle as you can. You'll notice that the drizzle stitch wants to rotate around your needle as it gets longer, do let it, that will just help you fit more stitch on there, as well as give the finished stitch a nice curl.

6. When you think you have enough drizzle you can move on to the turkey stitch. You will not need to do a lot of it. You'll probably overestimate how much you need, but that's ok, you can always give the fluff a bit of a haircut later. Do a few looong loops of turkey stitch, a little bit longer than your drizzle stitch. Cut the loops to slightly different lengths, otherwise you'll get a very blocky bit of fluff... tapered is better. Untwist the yarn and separate the strands, draw a needle through the strands to fluff them up.

7. As a finishing touch you can add some long and thin strands around the edge of the body.

Edit: Tfw a post has been up for years before you notice that you forgot a whole-ass step. Apparently #4 has been missing all this time. Oh well.

[tofuxtea]

𝟏:𝟏𝟗 𝐚𝐦 | 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐍𝐄𝐄𝐃

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 — jack delroy x fem!reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 — nsfw, p in v sex, reader helps jack ‘relax’, slight coercion/convincing, unprotected sex, on a counter/table ? LMAO, rough sex lowk, cant think of any other tags, except its not proofread!

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 — this takes place right before the halloween special lol, def might be ooc jack but idgaf!! this took me two days to write i lowkey forgot how to write smut ?? discovered i was a lesbian and forgot how het sex worked my bad yall! anyways enjoy cuz i have yet to see a fic about this man.

the studio was buzzing with excitement when you arrived. crew members blew by you from every direction, barking orders and carrying pieces of halloween decorations that would be strewn around the night owls’ set within the next hour. tonight was the halloween special that was expected to bring jack’s show to the top, and he’d said he wanted you there to see it.

you’d only been there a couple of times — jack advising against you visiting him too often in case people started suspecting things about your relationship.

it was his first since madeleine had passed a year ago, and he wasn’t quite ready to go public yet. especially if it meant it would hurt any chances of the show not beating johnny carson’s tonight show.

afterwards would be your time, he promised you.

you hugged your coat closer to your body as you tried to navigate the set yourself, skimming over the panels beside every door until a familiar face came into view. you sighed, instinctively grinning when you spotted leo fiske, the show’s producer.

his stress-lined face shifted the moment he saw you, greeting you with a kiss on the cheek and a brief hug. “how are ya, sweetheart?”

behind his sunglasses, he looked you up and down and hummed softly. you flashed him a tight grin and pulled your coat shut. he was charming, sure, but sometimes he was more direct than you liked. something told you that he knew about you and jack, and probably threatened the latter with it, but if he did he hid it well.

“i’m alright,” you kept the atmosphere light with a laugh, “where’s jack?”

the mention of his name made the man roll his eyes and scoff. “jackass has been locked up in his dressing room for the past half hour.” you pouted, realizing how much pressure he must be feeling. “end of the hallway to the right. i’ll slide you a fifty if you can untwist his panties, alright?” leo joked, gently patting your shoulder before brushing past you. you watched him go for a second, watching him beckon a female crew member over for something.

you hurried down the hallway to the door leo had directed you to, relieved when you saw jack’s name next to the door. knocking gently, you waited for him to call you in. “jack?” you called out when he didn’t reply.

boldly, you cracked open the door and stuck your head inside, finding jack sitting at his makeup vanity while an artist stood poised at his side, patting powder onto his forehead.

she startled when she heard your entrance, and flashed you a curt smile before returning to jack. he noticed you only when the woman had paused for too long and gestured you inside.

“give us a moment, will you?” he murmured to the makeup artist, who nodded and left the room.

you waited until the door was shut and her footsteps had gone quiet before sliding your arms around jack’s shoulders from behind. “how’re things going?” you asked with a coy grin, pecking him on the cheek.

he groaned when he saw a faint mark from your lipstick and realized he’d have to get another touch up later. “as great as they could be.” he replied rather bitterly, making your smile falter slightly. you gave him a curious look in the mirror, and that was his breaking point. his head lulled into his palm, paying no mind to how his fingers ruffled his gelled hair. “i swear to god, fiske thinks i can’t fuckin’ do it. he doesn’t think i can pull it off tonight.”

you hovered beside him for a second, unsure of how to console him. “what do you mean? tonight’s been all the talk for a week now, it’s gonna do great, baby.” you tried to reassure him, gently shaking him by his shoulders in his seat.

this seemed to ease his nerves just a little and he sighed, sliding a hand up to grab your hand. he found your eyes in the mirror and smiled for the first time that night, then looked down at your outfit.

you’d picked his favorite red dress, pairing it with the little devil-horn headband tucked away in your purse. it was shorter than you liked it to be, often having to tug the glittery fabric back down the curve of your hips, but jack loved when you wore it. tonight was a special occasion, so you figured he’d appreciate it.

“i just don’t know what i’m gonna do. what if he’s right?” jack continued to ramble. “you know, he keeps tellin’ me christou’s gig isn’t gonna gain enough traction to get us up. gus was tellin’ me that he’s called an act in last minute and he hasn’t run it by me yet — i swear to god, if it’s that jackass carmichael—” he huffed and stopped when he realized he was getting too worked up.

he hadn’t realized you had peeled yourself off of him and was tossing your coat onto the couch beside him. “hand me a smoke, won’t ya sweetheart?” he pointed loosely to your purse, knowing you were carrying some.

you two smoked the same brand, so he often stole yours. you didn’t mind.

you handed him a cigarette and he leaned in for a light. he sunk back into his chair as he blew out a puff of smoke, the tension steadily chipping away.

“baby, you need to relax, alright?” you cooed softly, stealing a quick drag of his cigarette. “you’re gonna do great. you always do.” your lithe fingers gently rubbed at his shoulders, smiling as his eyes fluttered shut and he melted under your hands.

“c’mere.” he grabbed your wrist and tugged you around his chair, steadying you with his hands on your hips before him. his eyes raked down your body and he sucked in a sharp breath. “relax, huh?” jack’s voice was low now, deeper. it made your breath hitch in your throat.

“jack, i…” your eyes flickered over to the unlocked door and you took a step back. your ass bumped into the edge of his vanity. a startled cry escaped you. “you’re on soon.” you whispered with an uneasy grin. although, he wasn’t live for another hour or so.

as much as your stomach fluttered at the look in his eyes, you feared the embarrassment if someone were to walk in on you two. especially if you weren’t public yet.

“c’mon, sweetheart,” jack groaned, chasing you out of his seat. his hands caged you in against the vanity, one reaching out to smash his cigarette out into the ashtray beside you, and his body pushed against yours. he practically forced you on top of the counter, a few bottles and trinkets toppling over in your little scramble. jack took the chance to nudge his knee in between your legs, humming with satisfaction at the small whine you tried and failed to keep inside.

you ducked your head shyly, but he moved with you, coaxing you into looking up. when he had you, he could tell there was no going back. your lips parted as you glanced down at his.

“that’s it.” he whispered with a gentle smirk before he kissed you. you sighed into it, feeling his urgency as his tongue slipped past your teeth. your fingers wrapped tightly around his biceps, your legs threatening to give out underneath you.

they instinctively parted when you felt the tip of jack’s finger trail up the top of your thigh. your skin dimpled with goosebumps and you shivered. he had such a feathery touch until he reached the hem of your dress, stealing a quick glance at how it bunched up at the fat of your hips and revealed your red panties.

then his hand dipped in between your thighs, his fingers prodding at your clothed cunt. you whined, a little too loudly, and jack flashed you a warning look.

“can you be quiet for me, sweetheart?” he whispered. you hardly had the mind to nod, let alone comprehend what he was saying. your mind was fucking spinning trying to get a grip, and it didn’t help that jack’s middle finger was lazily circling your clit over your panties. “what’s that?” he taunted, chin lowering with expectancy.

“mhm, yes, yes i can,” you eagerly nodded, words stringing together in a barely coherent murmur.

“good girl.” jack groaned. he slipped his hand into the waistband of your panties, a smirk dancing on his lips when he felt how wet you were. “you wanted this, huh?”

you hadn’t entirely realized that he was talking to you, too busy working your hips against his heavy fingers. your body felt like it was on fire. you desperately pleaded for him to hurry up, for both of your sakes.

he looked down at your clumsy fingers as they tried to unbuckle his belt, but it was like it was welded around his waist. frenzied whimpers filled the room until jack finally helped you, almost taking pity on your incoherency. while he worked at the zipper on his trousers, you quickly slid your panties down your hips and around at least one foot. the thin lace dangled from the toe of your heel when jack captured you in another fervent kiss.

you feel the tip of his cock catch just below your clit and your breath caught in your throat. one of his hands slid to the small of your back, pulling you to the very edge of the counter. your legs widened for him, waiting.

he granted you relief, easing himself into your tight cunt. he groaned into your neck, stilling so he didn’t cum on the spot. “god, you’re so fuckin’ tight.” his voice shook.

he went until his hips were flush with yours, watching how your face contorted with pure ecstasy. your lips parted in a high cry and your eyes squeezed shut, and your head lulled back. jack stole the opportunity to latch onto your neck, adorning your skin with kisses and licks. you pulled him closer with your arms around his neck.

“shit, jack,” your fingers raked through his hair, neither of you caring about how pissed hair and makeup were going to be with him. long, dark strands fell over his forehead and tickled your skin. “jack.”

he loved how his name sounded in your mouth. how he always managed to get you like this, though for some reason it was quicker than usual that your face flushed and your eyelids drooped with arousal. it stirs something deep in his stomach and he slams into you, setting an unrelenting pace. he didn’t care that it rocked the vanity mirror back into the wall with a hollow thud.

your thighs hug his waist and your ankles meet behind him, silently pleading for more. “greedy little girl, aren’t you?” he whispers with half a grin. he draws a strained cry from you with each deep thrust, your cunt clenching in fluttering pulses around him.

“fuck,” he hissed, knowing he wasn’t going to last much longer. he knows you wouldn’t either. your cries were growing louder and louder and more frequent. the mirror kept tapping against the wall and things kept rolling off of the counter and onto the floor. tears gathered in your eyes, painting your eyelashes each time your eyes squeezed shut. though each time you did, jack would remind you to look at him. he gently shushed you at first, then used his mouth when you weren’t listening.

your back arched into his chest as you came with a cry of his name, jack murmuring into your ear, “good girl, that’s it.” your body seemed to melt in his arms, going near slack as you came down from the high he was fucking you through.

it was only a few more thrusts until he came, barely managing to pull out before painting the insides of your thighs. he knew you would be pissed that it got on your dress once you realized, but he didn’t care.

after a minute of blissful silence, jack checked his watch. “shit, fiske’s probably lookin’ for me.” he rolled his eyes as he buckled his belt, praying to god that his beige pants were relatively stain-free.

if push came to shove, he’d tell him that he spilled his drink in his lap. he gave you room to get to your feet, watching with quiet pride as your knees wobbled pretty noticeably.

you tugged your dress down your hips, absently searching for a tissue box. a smile crossed your lips when you looked up and you lifted yourself onto your tip-toes to press a kiss to his lips.

“knock ‘em dead, baby.”

lowkey surrounded this smut based on the “secret relationship” trope and the last line. lowkey ass and rushed but enjoy!

[vodika-vibes]

Ordinary Day

When you flee to Pabu to get away from your life, you don’t expect to find happiness there. You’ve never been so happy to be wrong in your life.Summary:

Pairing: TBB Crosshair x Reader

Word Count: 834

Warnings: None

Tagging: @trixie2023 @n0vqni @imabeautifulbutterfly

A/N: I wanted to write something cute and sorta fluffy so I did.

You like your home.

Sure, it’s a bit small, nothing compared to the grand mansions that you used to live in when you were a child, but your home is cozy and warm and safe…and that’s something that you never had growing up.

Yes. You love your home.

Even the squeaky floorboards on the stairs, and the way that the kitchen faucet drips if you aren’t careful to make sure that it’s turned completely off.

But, you have to admit, your favorite part of your home has nothing to do with your home itself, so much as your neighbor, and boyfriend of two months, Crosshair.

You roll out of bed early, and lazily shower and dress before you start opening curtains and windows. 

It’s your day off, which means, naturally, that you’re awake with the sunrise. Still, it’s a nice day, so you don’t mind as much as you normally do.

You grab some of the dough that’s been in the fridge overnight, and toss it on the counter so you can have fresh bread later, before you go about opening the curtains and windows in the main part of the house. 

Carefully, you tie the curtains to the side, and then push open the window before locking it into place, and a small smile crosses your face when you see Crosshair messing with the speeder in front of his house.

“Does Tech know you’re messing around with his speeder, Cross?” You ask, your voice light as you lean against the window frame.

He straightens and looks at you, a small smirk crossing his face, “Morning kitten.”

You roll your eyes at the nickname, though it’s mostly for show, you both know it doesn’t bother you half as much as you act. “Good morning, Crosshair.” 

He flashes a small smile, “What Tech doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

“Mm-hmm, but will it hurt you?”

“I can take him.”

You laugh softly, “Wouldn’t it be better to not start a fight in the first place?”

The toothpick in Crosshair’s mouth moves from one side to the other, “Nah.”

You laugh again and shake your head, “I’m going to hazard a guess that you’re the older brother.”

Crosshair’s grin is sharp, “How’d you guess, kitten?”

“I just have a feeling about these kinds of things.” You reply, and then you sit on the windowsill and swing your legs so they’re outside the house, “So, why are you awake so early?”

“Wrecker snores.” Crosshair replies, his gaze dropping to your bare legs for a split second, before snapping back to your face, “You?”

“Ah. Well, today is the first day of my vacation, so naturally I woke up with the sun.”

“Oh, naturally.” He teases with a smirk, “Hate it when that happens.”

“It’s the worst.” You agree, cheerfully ignoring his teasing, “You going somewhere?”

“Yeah, I was planning on spending the day away from everyone, on the other side of the island.” Crosshair replies, as he drops his bag in the speeder, “I just need a break from people.”

“That’s fair. Well, don’t let me stop you-”

Crosshair watches you for a moment, and then he folds his arms across his chest, “Wanna come?”

“I thought you needed a people break?”

“Come on, Kitten. We both know you don’t count as people.”

“Thanks…I think.”

“Are you coming or aren’t you?” Crosshair asks with a roll of his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m coming. Untwist your panties, Cross.” You hop down from the windowsill, and hurry over to him. 

“Hm, you spend a long time thinking about my underwear, kitten?” Crosshair asks as you stop next to him.

“That’s for me to know and you to wonder.” You reply primly.

“Yeah? Well, that’s a shame, because I spend a lot of time thinking about yours.”

“I think that makes you a pervert.” You muse thoughtfully.

“But not you?”

“Of course not.” You grin at him.

Crosshair chuckles and tosses his toothpick to the side, “So, this counts as a date, right?” You arch a single brow at him, “Which means I can kiss you whenever I want, right?”

“Is that how that works?”

“You know, I think it does.”

“Hm…well, if that’s the case, then yes. I suppose you can.”

Crosshair is quick to take advantage of your permission, as he crashes his lips against yours and tangles his fingers in your short hair to keep you close. “There,” He says as he pulls away, “That’s a proper good morning.”

“Hm…is it?” You ask with a dreamy smile, “I wasn’t paying attention.”

He laughs, “Brat. You can get more kisses when we get to where we’re going. In the speeder.”

“You’re so bossy.”

“You love it. Get in.”

“I’m getting, I’m getting.” You reply with a laugh as you climb into the passenger's seat, before leaning back and stretching out.

You love so many things about Crosshair…but these surprise trips, where it’s just the two of you exploring for the sake of exploring, you think you love the most.

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

no like really even without the timeline context of when it leaked Hand of God is so incredibly messed up like???? FOB's always been good at public indictments of the way they've been treated, that's like, a significant amount of their discography especially prehiatus and ESPECIALLY Cork Tree which does it very bitterly and sardonically but Hand of God feels like it takes it a step farther with "which is it, the boy who writes the songs or the boy who's in them?" because like YES there is more than one way to interpret that and I'm cool with that but it's doing a massive disservice to FOB and to Pete's writing to skim over the point within the larger whole of the song that they are one and the same. the boy who writes the songs IS the one who's in them, that's been true for most of Fall Out Boy's career. they're SUPER vulnerable in their songwriting, even when it's sarcastic and tongue in cheek, there's always a piece of truth in it. they wrote an entire fricking song about Pete's suicide attempt. the boy who writes the songs has always been the one who's in them, this isn't mutually exclusive. and Hand of God is IMMENSELY self-referential. it's literally Pete writing about himself. "who's the girl, is this truth, or is he writing fiction?" were all questions asked repeatedly on their forums and in Q&As with Pete.

"I am the worst liar I know" coming from the song that is possibly the most raw, honest draft or demo from Cork Tree — which also contains lyrics such as "we're only liars, but we're the best" (tongue in cheek turnaround of criticisms against the band) and "you only hold me up like this because you don't know who I really am" and "if you say this makes you happy then I'm not the only one lying" and "it's just a matter of time until we're all found out" and "I'll keep singing this lie if you keep believing it" (in a song that was essentially the band's mission statement, for lack of a better term) and "the record won't stop skipping and the lies just won't stop slipping and besides my reputation's on the line" (in a song that Pete himself said was way too personal to play live and has also said was the first half of a story that Hum Hallelujah, which is explicitly about his suicide attempt, later completed) and "I went to sleep a poet and woke up a fraud" (Music or the Misery is on a different edition but the point still stands) and "I keep telling myself I'm not the desperate type" (in a song titled sarcastically after the medication Pete overdosed on) — is fricking insane. there's a completely unfiltered, untwisted-into-sarcasm honesty in Hand of God and even though it (rightfully, because it would have been Too Much) didn't make it onto the final album, it functions as as much of a thesis statement as Sophomore Slump does. it functions as as much of a confessional as Dark Alley. Hand of God is at the heart of Cork Tree, practically haunting it, and it isn't even on the album.

[k4ulitzs]

For me? ~ Tom kaulitz

fluff.

I sat cross-legged on the bed in one of the compact rooms inside the tourbus. Gently pressing my concealer into my skin with a sponge. Making sure my makeup looked good for tonight. I looked in the mirror at my finished and perfectly blended concealer before I picked up my mascara, and untwisting the wand. Before I could apply it, I hear heavy footsteps trudging my way.

"baby?" tom whispers, poking himself through the door, his expression softening once he saw me. Raising an eyebrow, "yeah?" I responded, smiling at him. "what colour are you wearing tonight?" he said, his voice low. I wondered why he asked me, cause it wasn't usual of him to do so.

For tonight, I had found the perfect dress. It was a thigh high, perhaps higher, skin tight red dress with long lace see-through sleeves, and a dip in the back, as does the front, obviously showing my cleavage. It fit me perfectly, though I was unsure if tom would approve.

"red, why?" I turned my head to the side slightly, squinting one eye a little.

He gave a knowing smirk, me still not clicking in what he was up to, so I went along with it. "no reason, your makeup looks beautiful, by the way." he smirks, speaking in a now seductive tone. He moved, slipping out the door. I let out a sigh, unsure of what all that was about, and I continued my makeup.

About half an hour of me, Bill, Gustav and Georg waiting, all sat on the sofa, our patience slipping for tom. He always dressed nice though, so it often took him a while to pick out an outfit.

"jesus fucking christ, what are you doing tom?!" bill huffed, making it clear that it was not only me getting pissed at how slow tom was being. "tom, can you please hurry u-" my words were soon cut short when he suddenly opened the bedroom door, and walked out. Holy shit.

I looked him up and down, he was dressed in red. Just like I told him what colour I was dressing in. Red baggy shirt, with baggy jeans, a red hoodie, which he had unzipped, his long dreads tied up into a ponytail as usual, his lip ring shining in the light, and a red cap to finish off the matching theme. Everyone else sighed, finally getting up off the sofa and walking towards the door, and walking out, leaving me and Tom standing, our gazes inking into eachothers. Surprised that he had not disapproved of my outfit.

He let out a soft giggle, his hands in his pockets and his head lowering as he did, clearly blushing as I could see a pink tint form on his cheeks. I let out a small 'awe', and it's true, I was really in awe. "baby? All this for me?" I smile, it atleast reaching my cheeks, feeling them grow warm.

He looked up, those beautiful pools of brown melting into my eyes. "yeah schatz, all for you."

He takes a few steps towards me, his hands snaking around my waist and pulling me closer. He rested his forehead against mine before giving the tip of my nose a bunch of small kisses, leaving me giggling. His lips landed on mine, fitting together in a passionate kiss.

We both pulled back a little, noses still touching. "I love you." I whisper, watching his lips curve up into a smirk. "I love you too baby." he responds with the same amount of love in his voice as I did mine.

We stay in eachothers embrace, only to jump in fright from bills voice calling us.

"hurry up you two! You can stare at eachother later!"

~

Hope you liked this🙏🏼 English is not my first language so there might be mistakes😭 luv u, feel free to leave any requests!! <3

Please know that this is inspired!! This original concept is not mine. cr goes to 'evieskiesss' <3

[frogeyedape]

March spin, spiral ply! The roving;

And the roving unbraided (b/c I still have not used up my stash from that one shop that folded its rovings in thirds and literally braided them instead of making a typical roving "braid" by chaining loops)

Aaaaaaand after the labor of splitting the roving into whatI thought was 1/3 and 2/3 which turned out to roughly half and half...and splitting one of the halves into half a third (1/6) and half of 2/3 aka 1/3 of the whole roving....aaaaaaand after predrafting so there's 5/6 in one pile and 1/6 in another, and both sections rolled up into balls:

I held the 1/2 and 1/3 together to get the 5/6 so as to preserve color changes.

Goal:

spin the small ball as fine as I can get it

gauge how thick a singles approximately 5x as large as the fine singles would be

spin the big ball at that 5x size

ply together with ooooh oh no if the thin singles is held at higher tension than the fat singles I'll use more yardage of the fat singles than I would if they were at even tension b/c it's spiraling around, yeah, so NOT 5x...

oh fuck what ratio...

1x thin plied with...let's say the spiral uses 1/3-1/2 has much yardage more from the 5x roving, so to stretch it to compensate let's say 3x singles size? suuuuuure

hope the math works out???

enjoy whatever the fuck happens while plying and just surrender to the experience of playing plying chicken...which singles will run out first and how closely can I get the colors to match between the two singles...

[sentientcave]

WAIT WAIT WAIT i need to hear about the 141 paranormal investigators omg???

OKAY SO

Basically it's like, a non-military AU where they have a youtube channel and investigate haunted places and look for cryptids and junk. Ghost is the camera/editing guy, Gaz and Johnny handle social media and are the primary faces, and John is a professor of Mythology and Folklore on extended leave that became a permanent fixture after they interviewed him too many times. They're on an American road trip, and they chance upon a hidden town full of actual supernatural people and creatures. Cue shenanigans while the townspeople try not to get caught on camera. Also they meet a hot witch who runs the B&B (the only place to stay in town).

Here's some of all this silliness:

“Relax, Soap.” Price used his stern teaching voice, the one that could command a rowdy hall of college students (most of whom were only taking his class because they thought it would be an easy credit) to be quiet and pay attention. “If we get lost you’ll get to gloat about bein’ right, how about that?”

“Rather no’ get lost, but Ah suppose it’ll do.”

Simon and Gaz exchanged a look, both of them trying not to laugh. They were an odd bunch, by any metric. Gaz had started a youtube channel reviewing local businesses around Manchester while he was attending university, which is where he had met Simon (Or Ghost, as he had introduced himself back then), who had been the butcher at a shop Gaz wanted to review. Ghost had been told to give Gaz a tour, so he had, reluctantly, and Gaz had gone home later that week to find Ghost sitting in front of his computer, editing the video.

“You do shite work,” he’d said, the only explanation he had offered for his presence in Ga’s apartment. “Fine substance, but terrible camera an’ editin’.”

And well, Ghost’s video had done a lot better than any of Gaz’s previous ones, so he’d asked him to continue. Ghost suggested moving on to different content as well, to exploring some of the spookier sites around Manchester (Of which Ghost seemed to be intimately familiar, unnervingly enough), and they had interviewed Price a few times to give the videos an air of legitimacy, since he was a professor of mythology and folklore at Gaz’s university.

Johnny had been their missing link, however. They’d gone to do a video in Glasgow, and kept running into him everywhere they went. He’d provided some useful local knowledge, and had a channel of his own, where he mostly blew stuff up and did parkour around the city. The Glasgow videos all went viral, and the channel suddenly became something they could potentially throw themselves into doing on a more full time basis.

Price, chafing at the routine of teaching, asked to join them on a more permanent basis as well. And since he had the two things that the rest of them lacked (A car and a savings account), they agreed. That had been four years ago. And somehow, it was working. They weren’t exactly making a lot of money, but they were getting by, and Price had written and published two new books, using their travel and research to pad out what might have otherwise been dry, academic work.

Simon flicked the radio back on, the van filling with the sharp sound of static. They’d lost their last station somewhere along the drive. He fiddled with the tuner until an upbeat, overly patriotic country song came in clear.

Gaz made a disgruntled sound in the backseat. He’d made his disdain for country music clear somewhere back in California.

“Just tryin’ to get a traffic report. Untwist your knickers, Gaz.”

“If we’d stayed on the main road we’d no’ need a report.” Johnny could never stop himself from throwing in his two pence. “We’d be in it.”

Price reached over for the volume, and turned up the music, drowning them out as one song switched to the next.

[lbxbx]

Cockpit 2 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood,

Previous | Next

Two weeks later you decided on going to the same club you celebrated Yoongi’s last weekend as a single man, and after a long debate with yourself, you choose a tight red dress with spaghetti straps which compliments your boobs, and you take pride in them.

You have the same table booked, Hoseok knows someone who manages to get the same table for you every time.

“I’m so sorry, I got off work late.” Taehyung joins you finally. “I had to get home and change, what did I miss?”

Taehyung’s personality and duality scares you. You and him met in a club, he seemed like the typical bad boy that was out of every girl’s league, until he got drunk and super wasted, and you started taking body shots off of each other, he needed friends like you, and he considers you the closest to him and his safe space he can be himself and comfortable. He comes to you when he has any minor inconvenience in his life, and you do a great job helping him, but with people outside of your circle, he’s suddenly mean, quiet and obnoxious, everyone gets obnoxious around new people, but he completely refuses to give in quickly, he has to study everyone first, he’s absolutely intelligent in a different way, and he can find out an individual’s personality based off of looks. 

“Yoongi and Mia arrived to Mauritius.” You unlock your phone to show him a picture Yoongi sent to your group chat, Yoongi and Mia feeding a giant turtle. Taehyung pouts. “We should have gone with them.”

“Honey moon is for sex and none of us is getting laid any time soon.” Jimin says in a serious tone, which makes Taehyung immediately interrupt- “Speak for yourself, I have a girlfriend.”

“You’re right, I think I grew my virginity back.” Jimin’s laugh is immediately wiped off when Jin kicks him in the shin. You click your tongue at Jin. “But he’s right.” You shrug. “Last time I had sex was back in march and I wasn’t so happy about it.”

“Oh please tell them what happened.” Hoseok took a sip of his drink, they look at you waiting for you to finish your story.

“No, my sex life is not going to be tonight’s topic.” You point at Hoseok, knowing if you finish your story they’re going to judge you so hard for it, they’re men after all.

“It’s an interesting subject and we’re all adults.” Jungkook interrupts and looks at Hoseok. “Is it that bad?”

Hoseok nods and you roll your eyes at him.

“What happened?” Seokjin asks, leaning forward eager to know more.

It is getting more embarrassing speaking of your sex life around a table full of men, but you actually finish. “I faked it and I don’t regret it.”

They are genuinely upset around the table as if you offended every man on planet earth and hurt their pride.

“Just tell him how he could’ve done it.” Jin whines, and Hoseok agrees. “That’s what I told her.”

“Oh shut up,” You huff and straighten your back. “One of you, get up and get us drinks let’s start the night.”

Jungkook excuses himself to use the bathroom, Jin gets up to order drinks and Jimin had to take a call outside the club.

Sitting across from Hoseok who was discussing with Taehyung the last time he had sex, you examine the club and look around, fingers intertwined, you start swaying your shoulders to the music before you grab your bottle of water and untwist it to take a few sips, you manage to spell some on your dress and chest which makes you gasp because that water is too cold for your liking.

“Shit.” You cuss under your breath and freeze in your chair, Taehyung is the first one to react and gets up. “I’ll get you tissues.” But Hoseok was even quicker to burrow some tissues from table right behind him, a familiar voice rings right across you, from behind Hoseok.

“There you go.”

“Thank you.” Hoseok pulls a few tissues and helps you dry yourself, you try to look behind Hoseok but he moves a lot and he is standing in the way, you grow impatient to know who that voice belongs to.

Hoseok finally sits down after making sure you’re alright, and finally about time, your eyes meet with the owner of that familiar voice.

Namjoon.

The moment your eyes meet, your stomach drops and you feel your shoulders tensing, you press your thighs together, and your lip lifts up in a tiny grin, you actually did get to see him again.

Your chest rises higher when your breathing becomes quicker and you clear your throat.

Are you nervous or just horny and thirsty over Namjoon?

He grabs his drink and takes a tiny sip, mirroring your grin, his dimple barely showing which makes you panic, because at this moment, you’re high key just staring at him with lifted eyebrows and wide eyes.

Hoseok and Taehyung to immersed in the conversation to notice.

You out of habit cross your legs and chew down on your lip, Jin comes back with so many drinks in his hands, he can barely put them down, Hoseok helps him and you finally take the drink you ordered in your hands, you bring it closer to your mouth, eyes still attached to Namjoon, you wink at him the way her winked at you that night, and you take a huge sip of your drink. Did you actually just do that? You’re totally panicking on the inside.

You try so hard to maintain your facial expression and keep it steady, which makes you clearly see him stress about it, he puts his drink down and scratches the back of his dark hair, he laughs too which makes him earn looks and stares from friends, he says something to them and you see him explain with his hands, his long fingers and knuckles making a show entertaining enough for you to glue your eyes to.

You hide your laugh behind your cup and take another sip. He’s clumsy.

“Y/N” Jimin calls out your name, you snap your head to him, he’s holding a tray full of shots. “We’re playing truth or dare, are you joining?”

You look back at Namjoon, you see him putting his hands on the table and using it for support to get up, he heads to the bar and faces the dance floor, his elbows leaning back on the bar, he looks at you and tilts his head towards the empty chair next to him. Is he asking you to come?

You decide to act on it quickly and shake your head to Jimin, “You guys start, I need to get a few more drinks before.” You get up and put your hand behind Jimin’s back. “I’ll join you when I’m ready.”

They already start arguing over the rules of the game, you make your way towards the bar slowly, you know he’s watching you, you brush softly against his shoulder which makes your nose pick up his manly cologne and now that you’re standing next to him, this man is so big and tall.

His breath is already irregular and yours is too, but you applaud yourself for not making it obvious, you can feel his big arm brushing against your bare skin and so can he, your skin burns him, and with that alone, he rewinds the scenario he saw in the shower, and he tells himself to focus.

You try so hard not to look at him with the corner of your eyes, and you focus on the bartender, you clear your throat and say in a tone you don’t recognize, you actually cringe at yourself on the inside, are you really trying to sound calm and sexy?

But it works because Namjoon just unlocked something new to use in his imagination when he jerks off to you in the shower.

“Can I please get a mojito—“ You turn to look at Namjoon, you eye him from head to toe, “And a beer for the gentleman.”

Namjoon is already struggling with you, he realizes that both of you are making a move on each other, so he’s trying to stay calm and cool.

“Coming right up.” The bartender leaves to make you the drinks. The tension increases and you look at him, his eyes meet yours, before he laughs, covering his mouth with the back of his hand.

You laugh too and climb up on the stool, you cross your legs and lean one elbow on the bar, facing Namjoon.

It takes seconds for you to pick up courage to start the talk since he isn’t saying anything.

“You’re the one who asked me to come here.” You start, he nods slowly, eyes focused on people on the dance floor. “Well, practically, I didn’t.”

He’s so nervous, so are you, but he’s way more nervous than you are.

“Mhm.” You nod, staring at his face from aside, his nose, his lips between his teeth, you lean your chin on your palm and still look at him and eating him with your eyes.

He can feel your eyes on him, he turns and meets your eyes, he laughs nervously again, you feel bad for him so you actually decide to look away and make him less uncomfortable, the bartender puts your drinks down, you grab the beer and hand it to Namjoon, then grab your drink and clink it with the beer in his hand.

He looks at you, this time not laughing, he brings the bottle closer to his mouth and takes a gulp, eyes still connected to yours, you take a sip from your drink and put it down.

“Are those your friends?” You point your head towards the table he was sitting at.

He nods. “Co workers actually.”

“What do you do?” You tilt your head, trying to build an image in your head, he looks like someone employed in a company, you’ve seen him twice, every time dressed in a suit. Probably a bank. No he could a teacher.

“Do you want to guess?” He studies your face. “You’re already trying to guess.”

“Smart ass, Hmm..” You nod and laugh when he laughs, you’re amused, is he actually smart or were you too easy to read?

“I’m a—“ He’s interrupted by you shaking your head, you want to play this game now. “Let me try and guess.”

He finds it cute, he closes his mouth and gestures you with hands to go ahead and try to guess.

You look into his face and try to build an image of what he could do in his life? Not that tanned, so it must be an indoor job, tall and big which means he could be an athlete, not too big to be a coach, he looks smart, probably a teacher? No offence to teachers but they’re not that sculpted and good looking.

Your eyes switch down to his body, you look at his hands, then look back at him, wondering if it’s okay to look at them, he shrugs and gives you his right hand, you hold it into yours, twist and turn it, look at his fingers, long and fucking attractive but he totally doesn’t draw or grade papers.

“At least give me a hint.” You shrug, letting go of his hand even though you don’t want to, secretly wondering if it’s okay to put them in your mouth at the spot. “Do you wear a uniform?” You snap yourself out of your thoughts.

He nods. Your brain starting to work harder than before, could he a police officer? Or in health care? Probably a soldier, he could be a chef too, they wear uniforms too.

“Do you cook?” You ask which makes him laugh like you said the biggest and fattest joke ever. “Actually no, I suck at cooking.”

You giggle and tilt your head. “Do you work in a building?”

He shakes his head. “Nope.” You’re even more confused now.

“Just tell me what do you do.” You say in frustration, he finds your lack of patience cute, he takes a sip and actually blurts out the job that you never expected to hear at all, but now you think about it, it suits him so much.

“I’m an aircraft pilot.” He says, his fingers intertwining together.

Your jaw visibly drops, they do actually exist, you only saw pilots in airports or in movies, you would’ve never thought you’d meet one in actual life.

“You’re a captain?” You squeak, he nods, his eyes on your lips, busted for staring at them, your head moves slowly left and right. “That’s so fucking hot.”

You actually just said that, you can’t be totally proud of yourself.

“Tell me more about Y/N,” His voice sounded so deep and low, making you tilt your head, he looks totally different to you now.

“What do you want to know?” You ask in return, he takes another gulp and puts his beer down. “What do you do?” He changes his tone for emphasis and stares at you, he’s probably pretending to be assuming but he already knows since he saw your pass card the other week.

“Can I guess?” He asks, which makes you scoff and bite back. “It’s totally unfair, you already saw my pass card.”

He looks confused for a second but shrugs right after, his lips forming a small pout. “But I was being genuinely serious, I just saw your first name.”

He did sound honest but for all you know he could be lying, you nod and tell him to try to guess, which makes him turn to fully face you, he hands now on his thighs, his head slightly tilted to the side, he’s trying so hard to find a job that he thinks matches someone as attractive as you are.

He hums, “Literature probably.” He questions, “A teacher, or a writer. Although your personality gives me the vibe of a human resources type of girl.”

He’s thinking out loud, trying to read your face seeing if your facial expression changes when he mentions the jobs, waiting for you to say yes, but you don’t give him anything to start with.

It’s so hard for him to focus, you think he’s staring at you trying to guess what you do, but he’s just feeding his eyes that are hungry for you, it was given to him on a silver platter, little do you know he’s biting your nipples in his head.

“It’s definitely not as interesting as yours.” You interrupt his train of thoughts, the body language on this man is driving you insane, the way he sits, the face he makes when he thinks, his fingers tapping on his thick thighs. You take a sip from your drink and look behind you at your friends making loud noises heard across the club, they’re enjoying their game.

“Tell me.” He gives up.

“I’m an emergency medicine resident.” He seems genuinely shocked and surprised, words struggling to come out of his so goddamn juicy lips, he ends up saying “Wow.” Then laughing.

“What’s funny Namjoon?” You lift an eyebrow, he’s a little startled when he heard his name, he looks at you and shakes his head. “No offense, doctors are not that good looking, and you’re too young—“ He’s interrupted with you smacking down your pass card on the counter and pushing it towards him.

“Not that I have to prove it to you.” You challenge him, he looks at the pass card and scratches the back of his head. “I’m sorry.”

You felt bad for him because you weren’t offended, he was over thinking his attitude, and to help ease his torture, you grab back the card and stand up, you’re standing way too close to him right now, he’s worried you’re mad or upset, you shoot him a soft grin to let him know that there’s no hard feelings.

“It’s okay, I need to get back to my friends.” You say, hand rising to slowly tug on a strand of his pushed back dark hair, you’re subtly flirting, but you also make him want you more.

He froze in his seat, eyes attached to yours, the look on his face almost as if he’s afraid he won’t see you again, he’s not done with you and he wants more, and things can’t end this way.

You want more too, but he’s still a man, you can’t offer him anything without him offering it first, or he should at least show some effort and ask for more.

A wild and loud debate is going through his head now, you can clearly see it because his mouth opens slightly, he’s about to say something but he stops.

“Enjoy the rest of your night.” Yeah you’re actually about to leave before he politely asks. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Hmm?” You act so innocent although you’re 100% sure he’s about to ask for a way to stay in touch, and he actually does.

“Can I get your phone number?”

Do you want to tease or should you just give it to him? Wait no, he’s a total stranger and you’re giving him your phone number? Now you’re the one who’s having a major debate in your head, you saw this man only twice and you’re already exchanging phone numbers?

You need to think fast and weigh things out, he’s a fucking hot airplane craft—

“Yeah sure.”

Really? Could you be faster than this? It comes out from you almost as if it’s a natural reflex. You didn’t even give yourself a chance to think twice, you wanted to say yes even if you weighed things out and his cons overcome his pros.

He takes his phone out and you end up exchanging phone numbers. You end up saving him as ‘NJ’, you close your phone and throw it back into your purse, you look at him one last time and your lip lifts in a tiny smirk. “So, I guess I’ll see you around, Namjoon.”

His eyes are on your lips when he swallows, the lips he imagined doing things to his dick in the shower.

“Yeah, I’ll see you around.” He snaps out of his dirty thoughts, he stands up too, and puts his hands into his pockets, his chest almost brushing against yours, his eyes very clearly move to your exposed cleavage, gosh if you only knew what is going through his wild imagination.

You turn and make your way to your friends, his eyes are totally checking out your lovely ass.

You feel your sweat on your lower back and chest, you grab a tissue and take your seat next to Hoseok, “Are you okay chief?”  And you giggle at the nickname he hasn’t used in a long time.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You put your hand his leg and he wraps an arm around you.

--

You chose truth which makes Jungkook whine, the game is not as fun as he wants, so he decided to give you hard time and ask you very explicit questions.

You swing back a shot when he asks you if you’ve ever sent nudes to anyone, of course you’re not going to answer that. Although you’re quite positive that drinking your shot already means yes you did, and you actually did do it before. Which you are not happy nor proud about.

Oh god your head is already spinning so much, you’ve lost count of how many shots that are now in your system, and you’re at that stage where you know it’s about to be too late, and if you continue, you will end up having a shitty hangover in the morning after.

“Come on Hobi it’s your turn.” You put your shot glass down. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” Hoseok doesn’t think twice which makes Jungkook whine even more, you huff. “Just choose dare, this kid is about to throw a tantrum.”

Jungkook flips you off and Hoseok proceeds. “Fine dare.” He rolls up his sleeves, you’re looking at Hoseok but behind him is the guy that you started your night with, just looking at you eagerly and his eyes not leaving you, they burn.

He’s still there with some friends, and what seems like a few of them left. You cross your arms over your chest which makes his eyes travel down to your chest again, you know he’s looking and you’re glad he is.

The boys hardly notice anything when they’re drunk, but the only one who’s been not drinking is Seokjin since he carpooled you to the club and he’s going to drop all of you home. He sees your eyes focusing elsewhere, follows your eyesight which leads him to Namjoon, he knows where Namjoon’s looking at, boys will be boys.

Seokjin can read you like an open book, since both of you think so much like each other, you two share the same birthday, only he is a few years older than you

And Seokjin’s hunch tells him that you and Namjoon are drooling over each other and you’re sharing looks of hunger.

“Hobi.” Seokjin starts. “I dare you to dare Y/N to kiss the guy on that table.”

Fuck you’re busted.

You snap your head at Seokjin and he shrugs, what is he trying to do?

And you’re even more embarrassed when all of them turn and look at Namjoon simultaneously, making Namjoon visibly nervous, and you feel extremely bad for him.

“You guys are so stupid.” You cover your face in mere embarrassment when Namjoon looks back at you, he’s confused.

“Come on he’s good looking.” Hoseok being the loud person he is, turns to you when he whines, as if that’s what you were complaining about.

You know how he’s so damn attractive, but you just exchanged numbers with that man, kissing might just ruin everything, or it could spice things up.

“He’s been staring at you the entire night.” Seokjin says, getting up and actually pulling your chair back while you’re still in it.

“Seokjin no.” You’re panicking, you totally refuse, smart enough to remember your standards, you never make a move on a man first.

“What if he comes and kisses you?” Jungkook is already on his feet and walking towards the table next to you.

You shake your head quick in utter panic and bite on your own teeth begging for Jungkook to come back. “Jeon Jungkook get back here.”

Well, it’s too late, because he already excused Namjoon out of the table, which confuses Namjoon even more.

Oh my god, your face is burning and your body is on fire!

You see Jungkook standing with his back facing your table, shakes hands with Namjoon, then points behind him with his thumb before crossing his arms, they both turn and look at you, Fuck. They’re walking closer.

“Hey, Y/N, this is Namjoon.” Jungkook introduces and you act oblivious, so does Namjoon, he’s totally not hiding his smirk. “This is my friend, Y/N. She hasn’t kissed a guy since march.”

Oh my god this brat keeps embarrassing you more and more you’re genuinely so close to crying, you want the floor to swallow you and you want to disappear.

Namjoon reaches his hand out to shake yours, “Kim Namjoon, haven’t kissed a woman in months too.” He introduces his full name and laughs, the guys laugh too, how are they even laughing this isn’t funny.

You shake his hand as if you haven’t before, totally surprised when he tightens his grip on your hand and pulls you closer, he just cuts to the chase and moves his hands lower to reach your hips.

Now that you’re even closer, this man is tall enough to make you almost tip toe, the smell of his cologne mixed with the alcohol and smoke is already doing wonders to you and sending you somewhere else, you’re drooling and it’s not from your mouth.

The feeling of his hot palms on your hips almost makes you want to collapse in his big arms.

Deep down in your head you grow impatient to feel his lips against yours, your stomach twisting in turning in pure excitement and arousal, you’re about to kiss the captain.

His nose brushes against yours and you can feel his hot breath against your lips, your hands moving to his biceps to feel them, it feels weird to do that in front of your friends, but they’re enjoying it, and they’re drunk and you think you are too, but this whole thing is more than enough to sober you up.

In a quick move Namjoon turns you so your back faces your friends, clears his throat and whispers low enough for both of you to hear, his lips softly touching yours with each letter he says. “I kind of wished they dared me to fuck you, because I want to.”

Your breath hitches and you’re already drunk on his touch, but now this man even has a dirty mouth that he uses shamelessly.

He finally pulls you closer for a kiss which you can feel your ears buzzing right away, and your legs feel like jelly. Your lips touch and melt together from the heat both of you radiating, you expect it to be a soft kiss but the attraction, you could swear there’s a magnet pulling you closer or it’s his arms pulling you closer to him, your so called soft kiss turns into a make out, his tongue licking your lower lip and quickly taking the chance to taste your mouth, you barely keep up with his kiss but you manage to.

Your hands make their way up to his chest and neck, your nails digging there softly and tugging on the back of his hair, he softly bites your lip and manages to pull back from the kiss, keeping your lower lip between his teeth while smirking, your hands move down to his big clothed arms that are tensed, you hold tighter for dear life because you’re ready to collapse any second now.

But fuck you want more, you want to feel more of him.

He pulls back from the kiss but your bodies are still touching and pressed against each other, and you stare into his eyes, his smirk getting cockier by the second when he feels you press harder into him, you visibly clear your throat and your hands move to his forearms, his smile slowly disappears when he leans closer to your ear, licking it and printing a soft kiss on it while humming.

He blows some air into the glistening spot he kissed on your ear and whispers. “I think about you when I make myself cum, I wish I could cum on your pretty face and ruin your makeup.”

Chills run through your spine, you’re seconds away from asking him to come home with you, you need him.

You shiver subtly, and you’re pretty sure if he touched you, you’d cum in an embarrassing amount of time.

You look into his eyes, they’re lazy and half closed, he bites on his bottom lip aggressively and pulls back ever so slowly, although the magnet between you feels like it’s pulling you closer.

“Enjoy the rest of your night.” He looks at Jungkook and the rest of the guys, then looks at you one last time before actually leaving the club.

You’re drooling over Kim Namjoon.

“You’re welcome.” Jungkook says.

[blue-grama]

Aof Noppharnach, carelessness & living with yourself after the worst has happened

I'm doing a late-to-the-party catchup on Aof Noppharnach's work after falling in love with Moonlight Chicken, and this isn't a unique observation or anything, but I'm really in love with his preoccupation with how people pick up the pieces and move forward after the worst thing happens.

The conversation between Day and his dad about Night's guilt over putting Day in the position to get into his accident is in the same territory of what Tian is going through in A Tale of 1000 Stars. Neither Tian nor Night were directly responsible for what happened -- Aof doesn't seem to go in for cut-and-dried villians -- but they both feel culpable. And, most interestingly, both were simply careless. Neither meant for harm to come to anyone. If they'd been a little luckier, none would have. But they weren't and now they have to grapple with how to come back from that moment. For Jim, it's a little different. Jim wasn't careless, but he let Beam get on that ferry in the midst of a fight. Later, he regrets that choice, because if he'd insisted Beam stay and fight it out, Beam wouldn't have died -- another unfixable choice that, with better luck and more time, might have been fixed. (And another choice that lives in a gray area, because it wasn't fully Jim's choice. But in Beam's absence, who else can he blame?) Even Bad Buddy is about this in some ways - what Ming did to Pran's mom is the original wound that echoes down the generations. In that case, Ming doesn't make any attempt at amends, Dissaya can't let go, and the two families get stuck in a permanent feud. It takes a new generation to untwist that particular snarl.

And then there's the other theme that's pretty prominant in what I've seen of Aof's work so far, which is "I thought I had more time." Last Twilight's been deep into that theme, between Rung's suicide and Day's progressive loss of vision. It shows up in ATOTS with Tian granted new life after he stopped planning for the future, and it shows up in Moonlight Chicken's multiple stories of loss. In many ways, they're the same theme in different flavors. How do you move forward when something's unfixable? When the worst has happened and you can't erase it? When time is up? Ming and Dissaya dig in. Tian tries to live someone else's life. Jim walls himself off, becoming the person everyone leans on, but never becoming vulnerable to someone else. Day locks himself in his room. Night tries to be the big brother he should have been.

But life and Aof Nopparnach have a way of challenging those coping mechanisms. Tian has to make his own choices and find his own way forward. Jim has to open himself up to the possibility of happiness again because he can't actually be there for everyone without intimacy (see how Wen helps him understand Li Ming). Day has to come to terms with his new reality. As for Night, we'll see. Day is interpreting his efforts in the worst possible light, but that conversation with their Dad may have put a crack in the armor. Would getting Day's forgiveness help Night forgive himself? Can he forgive himself if Day never does?

It's never clear-cut and the struggle is always in both repairing connections to the community and reparing your own self-perception. In Aof's works, you've got to do the work to change, yes, but self-sacrifice isn't ever enough, nor is it effective: You've got to see yourself as forgivable, too.

[zeltqz]

MIND GAMES | ran haitani

length. 5.9k words

synopsis. final part - you finally lose your V to ran hehe

authors note: so i finally got over my nervousness and wrote the fluffiest smuttiest shit i ever oh my god my fingers just dont stop typing when it comes to this man ANYWAY ENJOYYYYYYYYY @sleeplessreader @nimbixan @christmassugarcookies @ransbaby@scarletbedlam @ranhaitaninumberonefans @wenumsmol @jordanisgae

Ran sets his controller down on his lap when you text him; not even wasting a second before unlocking his phone, lightspeed. Rindou rolls his eyes so far into the back of his head they almost get stuck, clearly agigated when Ran just tosses out his attention span the second he gets a text from you.

‘ Whipped ’ is what Rindou likes calling it, noticing how his brother would rather drop everything he’s doing, even going as far to cancel all his plans if the opportunity arises to talk to you.

“So you’re really just going to leave me to fight a 2v1 by myself?” Rindou’s question goes unanswered and he groans watching his character’s health bar deplete by the second. “Dude?!”

Hey, what are you doing? 

Ran clicks on your messages, totally unaware of the uninvited smile creeping onto his face as he types back.

Just playing some games with my brother. Why?

His tongue pokes out to his cheek as he sees the three dots popping up and down rhythmically as you form a response. 

“Ran, if I lose this battle, I will never forgive you.” 

“Shut up, you’ll be fine.” Blindly, his spare hand aimlessly searches around his lap for the controller to shut his brother up when his phone vibrates on his lap once more.

No no reason, I just wanted to talk to you, but you are busy so I’ll call you later

The little hope Rindou has left when he sees Ran’s character take a step forward, ready to aid him through fighting the monster is gone the second Ran’s attention and wandering hands go back to his phone.

“Are you kidding me?!” Rindou’s character falls, evaporating into thin air and his eye twitches. “Fuck off, I’ll go call Kakucho or something, you useless piece of—”

His rant lands on deaf ears as Ran continues to ignore him, kicking his feet onto the couch, eyes glued onto that phone like it’s his lifeline.

I’m not busy, c’mon, talk to me . Everything ok/?

His long hair rests on his shoulders, his slender fingers playing with the ends of it as he anxiously waits your response.

Everythings fine, promise. Just wanted to talk to u 

Stop being so cute its killing me honestly.

Shut up..

He loves the way he can hear your voice through the message, the playful tint in your phone as you’d push him away whilst trying to hide your flustered face from his gaze. 

It’s become his new favourite hobby, to tease you till you can barely look at him. 

We’re still on for tomorrow right? He asks and distantly, he hears Rindou talking shit about him to Kakucho from the corner of the kitchen, then proceeds to invite him over to help him finish the damn game.

“I’m right here, y’know?” Ran calls out, leaning his head back far around over the couch to look into the kitchen, snickering when Rindou puts up his middle finger and continues to cuss him out over the phone whilst looking into the fridge.

Yeah, tomorrow is fine. 

You respond back with a heart emoji at the end that makes his own heart beat twice as fast. He’s not sure why you have such an effect on him; how you managed to invade his thoughts at any moment throughout the day, how he would jump over any object just to grab his phone if it was at the far end of the room when it dings, the disappointed look on his face when he realises the text wasn’t from you.

On a scale of 1-10, how angry would you be with me if I came over right now?

He decides to test the waters and asks. If your answer is anything higher than a 7, he’ll stay at home and wait till tomorrow, but anything less than that; he’s hopping on his motorcycle and risking it all just to see you.

8. Stay ur ass at home ran my dad is here for the week

Fuck’s sake.

He frowns, untwisting his finger from his hair and sighs.

Bruh cant he fuck off and stay in his own house? So unfair.

There’s a short gap between your replies, and he uses it to head over to the kitchen, towering over his younger brother, placing the flat of his palm against the top of his head and drags him away from the fridge with zero effort.

“Ran, get off me !” Rindou struggles to escape his brother’s grip, practically fighting for his life as Ran’s lazy eyes scan over the contents in the fridge. 

He’s too tired right now to cook actual food and there’s no leftovers for him to reheat. 

“Ran, I’ll kick you.” Rindou threatens when he finally rids himself from Ran’s clutches. “You’re extra annoying today.” He grits out, dusting his clothes, trying to act as nonchalant as possible as if he didn’t just get manhandled in his own house.

“I’m taking that as a compliment.” Ran closes the fridge with a sigh, moving to sit on the edge of the kitchen counter.

“Take it as you want, I don’t care.”

Ran rolls his eyes when his phone chimes twice and he doesn’t have to look at it to know who it is. Rindou clicks his tongue, grabbing his flask and downing it with ease. He needs the alcohol to get him through the day, especially when Ran is like this.

It’s an image attachment rather than a message and he opens it; immediately knowing why it took you longer to respond than usual.

You grace him with a perfect angle of your hands splayed over your bare chest, your nipples playing hide and seek behind your fingers. From the looks of it, your back looks arched slightly from the curve of your waist and at the very top of the photo, your bottom lip is being bit down onto subtly with your teeth. His eyes trail down to your stomach, captivated by the way your shorts ride up your thigh—

He needs to get his hands on you. Fuck waiting.

Rindou looks over his brother’s shoulder, eyes blowing wide and jaw dropping to the floor as he gasps an “Oh my God—”

Ran shuts his phone off and fights the urge to punch his brother into next week, hoping the hit is hard enough to give him memory loss. 

“Is that the girl you’re talking to? Shit, what’s her name?” He takes another sip of his drink when Ran brushes past him to grab his shoes. “Oi, don’t ignore me!”

“Just shut up, I gotta go.” 

You fiddle with the tips of your nails anxiously, fidgeting on your bed, physically unable to stay still as you allow your thoughts to take control. Does he not like it? Is it too much? Is that why he hasn’t responded? Did I cross a line? Sending it without permission? Did he block me?

The last one seemed to have worked in heightening your anxiety, fingers now moving to delete the image and pretend you had never sent it; though you know he saw it because the words READ staring at you like a slap in the face.

You almost jump out of your skin when your phone vibrates from underneath your body five minutes later, hidden deep within your sheets as you fish for it. 

Come outside.

It’s a simple message, yet still has your brain muddled. Once connecting the dots, your face flushes, mouth parting slightly and dart your eyes to your keyboard.

Don’t tell me youre outside…. 

You walk over to your window and slam a  hand down on your windowsill to stabilize yourself as you look outside, spotting Ran’s motorcycle at the end of the street. 

You’ve gotta be kidding me, you think, pulling your phone out and dialing his number you shamelessly admit you know by heart.

He doesn’t even let it ring for two beeps before he’s answering, repeating his text message out loud as he says, “Come outside.”

You always forget how deep his voice is, how it has that subtly provocative undertone with a bite of playfulness when he’s in the mood. “Ran—I can’t, you know this—” The deep rumble of your dads laughter fills the house; he’s always so loud, as if he knows you’re planning to sneak out and is laughing extra loud downstairs to remind you he’s home. “My dad will ask questions.”

“Well, you shoulda thought ‘bout that before you sent me that, shouldn’t you?”

You groan, fingers scrunching up a lone piece of paper on your windowsill as you eye his motorcycle again, eyes flitting across the room to your jacket resting your desk chair. “Fine…” You grumble, keeping him on the line as you slip out of your shorts and into some jeans, grabbing your coat on the way out.

You intended to sneak out successfully, making as little noise as possible when you walk past the hallway behind the living room but the door let you down, creaking open way too loudly and your dad snapped his head towards the door. 

“You going somewhere?”

“No—yeah, I mean I wanted to get something from the store, real quick. I’m craving a snack.”

You put on your best innocent smile, ensuring your face is sweet and forgiving despite the fact you’re leaving to go get fucked by your boyfriend (?). 

“Oh!” Your mother chirps from the kitchen, “can you buy some more strawberries for me? I need some for my lunch tomorrow.”

“Yeah, sure whatever. I’ll see you guys in a bit.” You slam the door shut before they even got to say goodbye, hands shaking on the knob of your door as you take a deep breath and make your way over to the end of the street.

He’s distracted on his phone when you sneak up to him, placing your hands on his shoulders. “Hi.”

He can feel you shaking when he slides his hands down your arm, tugging you to sit in front of him on his bike. “Hey, you cold? You’re shaking like a lot.”

“No, I’m just…nervous.” You admit sheepishly, unable to look him in the face. He lifts your face up with a finger on your chin, pressing a reassuring kiss to your nose that has you smiling up at him.

“Don’t be nervous.”

“It hurts though…”

He leans forward, turning off his motorcycle engine and lights, now leaving the street in total darkness aside from the streetlamps. “We can take it slow, if you want.”

“No, not that. I wanna do it today, that’s why I sent you the…yeah.”

He shifts your body closer and you part your legs on either side of the bike for stability, hand gripping onto his shirt for better balance. “That photo was fuckin’ sexy.” You stiffen, blood turning cold as his hands wander along your spine, holding you close to him as his lips mark up the exposed skin of your collarbone. “You’re so fuckin’ hot, you have no clue what you do t’me.” He sucks down, humming lowly when your fingers loop around his chain and tug ever so gently to grab his attention.

“What do I do to you?”

It’s a genuine question, though you have a brief idea, you want to know if you affect him the same way he affects you; how his shirt rides up when he stretches, teasing you with just an inch of his faint v-line or hearing his voice in the mornings when you call him is enough to leave a wet stain in your panties.

His hands slither down your spine and you chew on the inside of your cheek for a moment when you feel it. 

It being something hard inside his pants pressing against your upper thigh. “Oh.”

He doesn’t answer, too interested in grabbing onto your breast, groping it slightly and loses himself in the faint perfume scent lingering on the skin of your neck.

“Ran, not here.” You giggle when he kisses his way up to your ear, puffs of air from his nose tickling against your eardrum. “Not here, please.” It’s a miracle there’s no passerbys this late at night, just imagining the look on strangers faces as they watch Ran feel you up on his bike is enough to have you fidgeting from slight embarrassment; yet you shove down the idea of being caught fucking in public somewhere deep inside.

He smells so good, the scent amplifies ten-fold when you shift back on the bike, dipping your face in the crevice of his neck, nose touching the neckline of his crew-neck black t-shirt.

“You’re in a cuddly mood today,” He says amused, slightly nervous, slight shivers running down his body when he comprehends how close you are. He tilts his head to the side, brushing his cheek against the side of your head and golds you steady, fingers digging into your waist. “How long we got?”

“Hm,” your lips vibrate against his neck as you hum slowly, head deep in calculations, “not that long if I’m being honest, but I can risk sacrificing an hour or two.”

“Yeah? What about the strawberries for your ma’?” 

His eyes squeeze shut when you attach your lips to his neck, slowly grinding your hips down against his lap, the slow roll gives your clit the friction it craves.

“She can live without them,” you whisper, hushed in spite of yourself as he lifts you off his bike easily and you maneovuer yourself to sit behind him, locking your arms around his midriff, digging your face into the back of his neck. 

The ride back to his house doesn’t take long and he doesn’t even bother locking his bike , preferring to lace his fingers between yours gently before he’s leading you inside.

The sounds of battle music blasts from the living room and a quick peek confirms that his brother is playing Street Fighter 2 with another guy that you haven’t met before. 

Ran places his hand around your waist, snatching your attention away from his brother and back to him. “Everything okay?” You nod up at him, fixing him with your best fake smile but he sees through it easily. “Nah, you’re not.”

You sigh, hating how perceptive he can be at times. “I thought we’d be alone…”

“We are, they’re deaf as hell, they won’t be able to hear anything.” When you don’t look convinced enough, he calls out his brother's name loudly, but he’s either ignoring him, or he can’t hear him as he talks to Kakucho, nudging him whenever he moves his character the wrong way. “See, trust me.” He squeezes your hand twice, reassuring you and you nod your head and let him lead you upstairs.

You take a seat on his bed when the reality of the situation hits you. 

You’re really about to lose your virginity.

The bed dips when he moves to sit next to you and your hands twitch nervously on your lap, biting the softness of your cheek to calm you down when he places his hand on your thigh.

“You’re shaking again.”

“I—” You bite your tongue, and swallow thickly, hoping your nervousness goes down with it. “I know I’m ready, I just…I’m just scared.”

You watch the slow rise of his brows. “I’ll go extra slow, just for you, ‘kay?” He tips forward to kiss you again, proving his previous sentence with his extra slow movements. Your shaky hand falls to the side of his face, holding him close to you as he shifts you to lay on his pillow, hovering over you.

He breaks the kiss, bending down to peck at your ear. Your giggle is almost music to his ears and your legs kick around as you mutter “It’s ticklish.”

“Yeah, that’s the point.” He sucks on your lobe harder, one hand moving downwards to wrap your legs around his waist to stop you from kicking him.

“I don’t like my ears.” You tell him, gently trying to push him away, pawing at his chest, laughing when his breath tickles your eardrum once more, “Ran!”

“You’re so beautiful though,” he pulls away, forehead to yours as he looks down at you, “best looking ears I’ve ever seen.”

“You clearly haven’t seen much ears then.” He deadpans at you and you roll your eyes, retracting your statement, “‘kay, I’m sorry.” You close your eyes when he bends down to kiss your nose, cheek, covering your face with kisses as he mumbles how perfect you are after each kiss. 

Your hands cup his face, thumbs stroking at his cheekbones as you hold his face up, enticing him into a trance with your kisses, back arching off the bed involuntarily with each groan that spills from his mouth.

“I’m gonna undress you now, alright?” He says between kisses and you suck in a harsh breath through clenched teeth before nodding, too nervous to provide a verbal response. 

He sits back on his knees and gently tug on your shirt, lifting your arms up to slide the shirt over your head and onto the edge of his bed. You sit up slightly, unfastening the straps on your bra and letting it fall, watching how his eyes stay glued to your chest as if he’s never seen a pair of breasts before. 

“...Ran, you’re staring.” You say, pointing out the obvious, thinking he would look away by now but you have to grip onto his face, and force his gaze up, “My eyes are up here.”

“I know where they are.” 

If he could kiss every part of your body he would. He looks down at you underneath him, eyes glistening with want and habitually, you tug on your bottom lip with your teeth, hands rising to wrap around his neck, craving his lips once more.

With confidence, Ran’s tongue slips into your mouth, slidinig passionately along your own. It’s almost embarrassing how pliant he makes you, how you're lifting your back from the bed slightly to press your chest against his own.

He grins at the soft moans you let out with each kiss, drinking up each mewl that leaves you when your hands wander downwards, slipping under his shirt, dipping your fingers along the crevices of his abs. 

“Take—” You take breaks between kisses to tug hopelessly at his shirt, “I want this off.”

“Someone’s bossy today.” You watch up in reverence as his shirt lifts off his body, tongue poking out to lick your bottom lip. It’s probably swollen by now, how hard you’ve been biting it but you don’t care, not when he hovers above you with his bare arms beside your head.

Your mouth is dry when he leans down to kiss you again, but keeps it short this time, breaking the kiss before you could even melt into the pleasure. 

His fingers dance their way along your thighs, making their way to the zipper of your jeans. His head drops down to look before it’s being lifted by your hands holding his face, “Don’t look…”

“I’m gonna see it regardless, y’know that right?”

Yeah, you know that; but you still feel embarrassed being fully naked and vulnerable in front of someone else for the first time. “I know…”

His fingers test the waters once more, fingernail scraping against the zipper until your legs are complying, spreading ever so slightly, just enough for him to wrap them around his waist as he unzips your jeans, hooking a finger onto your panties to tug them all off at once.

Cold air hits your bare cunt and you almost shiver when he bends down to your stomach, kissing on your skin around your bellybutton, slowly making his way down to your pelvis.

It feels extra sensitive there, butterflies frollocking around your stomach as he practically makes out with your skin. It’s wet when his tongue slides out, licking a stripe from your pelvis to your thighs, squishing them with his fingers as he marks you. He wasn’t lying when he said he would take it slow—now you’re actually regretting his slow pace, wanting to be touched down there.

“Ran—” Your voice trails off into a gasp when he bites down on your thigh, hard enough to probably leave teeth marks. “C’mon…please.” You whisper, covering your eyes with your hands, too flustered to look at him between your legs.

You can’t help but squeal when his nose brushes your clit ever so gently, his wet tongue darting out to lick a long stripe up, lips wrapping around your clit and sucking lightly.

“Oh—oh my god—” He smiles between your legs, eyes closing when he hears your moan, your legs enclosing around his head as you slap a hand over your mouth, biting at your palm when he flicks your clit with his tongue swiftly, physically unable to control your squirming.. “Ran, mm, oh fuck, fuck, yes!” 

“Yeah?” He dives back in, drowning in your slick as his fingers tickle your entrance, “Gonna put my fingers in now, ‘kay?” He takes your soft ‘mmhm, mhm’ as a sign to continue. He pushes in slowly, fighting back your body’s reaction as  he inches his finger in deeper. You almost kick him in the back when you feel it, slow, lazy yet calculated strokes with his index finger.

The pleasure is almost too much, biting your lip, throwing your head back to sink into the softness of his pillows. Your pussy clamps desperately around his long, slender finger. Ran groans, detaching his mouth from your slit, “Fuck, why are you so hot? It’s—” He twists his finger inside you, stretching your soft walls out and gives your clit another suck, “It’s fuckin’ killin’ me.”

Your body feels like jelly from just a single finger, the continuous strokes of his tongue against your clit have stars forming behind the abyss in your mind, eyes squeezed shut as you feel another finger at your entrance. “Don’t stop—fuck—please, don’t st— mm—” 

You’re babbling incoherent sentences, limbs practically numb as you try to squirm away from the overstimulation, insides feeling like they’re being electrecuted. “Wait, I—I think I’m—” 

You’ve never came before so the feeling was unusual to you. The warmth pooling around some unknown area in your stomach had you practically suffocating the man beneath your legs as he loudly licks up at the slick from your cunt as he finger fucks you into heaven.

“Clenching around me so tight, you’re close, aren’t you?”

“I think—” You swallow hard, cursing under your breath when he presses against that spot. He knows he’s hit it because the blood flow from his finger temporarily disconnets with how tight your walls clamp around it, moaning louder than he’s ever heard you before and your hand flys to the headboard to stabalise yourself as you come undone on his hands. You felt liquids squirt from your body, breaking out of the spell he put you under the moment you felt it—scared that you might’ve…

“A squirter, huh?” He says from between your legs, goosebumps forming on your forearms when he drags his tongue over your cunt one last time as a way of cleaning you up. “Didn’t know you could do that.”

“It’s not normal? Oh god…” You hide your face in your hands as he laughs, moving to sit on his knees and pulls you closer by your ankles, trying to remove your hands from your face but they’re practically glued on.

“Stop hiding from me, it was hot.”

“I thought I…” You lower your voice, too embarrassed to even finish the sentence, “I thought I peed.” He snorts and you hit him across the chest, “It’s not funny!”

“You’re so fuckin’ cute.”

Your cheeks heat up when he kisses you again. The taste of the kiss was slightly bitter and you instantly knew that was because of you. 

“You ready?” His voice is breathless as he parts away from your lips, wiping his lower face and mouth with his arm.

“Yeah.” 

He reaches forward, fluffing the pillows to get you as comfy as can be and you smile up at him, watching hypnotised as he tugs his pants down. You now understand his infatuation with your breasts because you’re lost in the sight of his cock, watching witth a dry mouth as his cock bobs free from its restraints.

There’s something white leaking from the tip that you’re sure is cum and you bite your lip when you see him squeezing tight at the base of his cock, dragging a lazy hand up to the top, groaning as he positions himself between your legs.

You blindly reach out of it, almost knocking the wind out from his lungs when you grab it, smaller fingers failing to wrap around his own. “Hey, what are you—” His words get lost when you bend down and ready to stick your tongue out before he stops you, “What are you doing?”

“I wanna taste it.” You say it like it's obvious, darting your eyes down to the leaking precum seeping out from the tip bit by bit, but he stops you, lifting you from your bent position with a single hand on your bicep. 

It’s weirdly attractive how he can just lift you with no effort, manhandle you to the way he wants and before you know it you’re back on the bed, head resting on his floofed up pillows and he’s hovering over you.

He reaches inside his bedside drawer, pulling out a condom and rolls it onto his cock as he says “As much as I’d love to see your pretty lips wrapped around my cock, babe, it’s not abouot me tonight.” His eyes trail down your body, nudging his cock against your cunt, the tip brushing agaisnt your clit in slow circles and you close your eyes to steady yourself.

Once ready, you nod at him and he bites his lip, eyes never leaving your body as he slowly presses into you. Your hands fly up to his arms, digging your nails into his skin and try your hardest to stifle your moan. 

There’s a stinging pressure the second his cockhead enters, your body fighting to accept him in and you start to panic. “Wait—” you tap at his arm rapidly, “I don’t think it’s gonna fit—I—”

“Shhh,” he bends down to kiss you, sucking on your bottom lip to comfort you, “listen to me.” You force your eyes open to look into his own honest ones, “You’re so tense, it’s gonna hurt but it’ll be quicker if you relax, ‘kay?”

“Okay…” You eyes flutter shut when you feel him press inside again, the head of his cock is fully engulfed and you feel the burn between your thighs as your walls stretch to accommodate his length, “Fuck, fuck fuck fuck, it burns Ran—”

“I know, I know, almost there, promise.”

The rest of his cock slips inside almost easily and he lets out a gutted moan when he bottoms out, his hips pressing against yours and he has to physically stop himself from fucking you into the sheets, waiting for you to stop squirming underneath him. 

“Is it in?” You whisper and he lifts a hand up, thumb swiping at the tears forming under your eyeline.

“It’s in.” You exhale sharply, un-squeezing your hands from his arms to wrap around his neck. “Tell me when to move, I’ll move.” He says against your neck, pressing soft kisses to soothe you, biting down when you clench around him involuntariily.

It feels weird, like you’re being stuffed full—but you don’t see the pleasure in this yet; it’s more uncomfortable than pleasurable. Maybe your body isn’t wired the same way other girls are because they make it out to be something amazing and have them screaming out in pleasure, but you just feel like screaming out in pain.

“Y-you can move, now.” You say after a moment, watching as his jaw clenches when he drags his cock out, leaving just the tip in before pushing back in gently. Ran makes sure to use as little force as possible, not wanting to overstim you so quickly. There’s warmth pooling in the depths of your stomach, the pain slowly turning into pleasure as he keeps up his slow pace, feeling lightheaded from how your pussy catches around his cock so tightly. 

He briefly thinks he should’ve prepped you more, scared that it was too painful for you. One look down proves his theory wrong and he almost cums right there and then, stilling his hips at the sight of you all spread out for him, eyes threatening to roll into the back of your head as you bite down on your lip, trying to stifle the bubbling moans.

“Faster?” He pants out, hoping and praying that you say yes because he needs to feel you, all of you, wants to hear you scream out his name. 

“Yes, please.” Your voice is hushed and quiet, gradually getting louder when he pulls out once more but slams inside you, hard enough that you’re sliding up the bed, head almost hitting the headboard as he begins his relentless pace.

He can’t hold himself back anymore, fingers digging into his pillowcase as he slams inside you. Your hand flys to your mouth when you’re about to moan, remembering he has guests downstairs but his hands grip onto your wrists, pinning them above your head. 

“Let me hear you, fuck please—” He sounds breathless, using one hand to keep your wrists above your head, the other trailing downwards to your thighs, spreading your legs further so he could fit himself inside you better.

“Ran, ohmygod, yes, yes, don’t stop, fuck !” You attempt to scratch at his hands pinning you down, needing to grab onto something before you feel like you lose yourself completely. He presses down onto your stomach, switching his pace to a slower one and you almost scream—

“Shit,” he whispers, voice trailing into a moan when his hips jerk, shoving his cock impossibly deeper, “I can feel you cumming—fuck, you’re so—” The next thing you know, you’re being flipped ont the bed, soft mattress pressing against your stomach and ass being dragged up into the air. 

“Ran, please—” You feel so empty without him inside you, taking back everything you thought previously about sex not being enjoyable, wishing he could be inside you all the time to fill you with that warmth. 

He grips his cock, panting softly before lining his cock up at your entrance. “‘M gonna fuck you full of cum, I swear to—” His promise is cut off when he slips back inside, groaning and dragging your hips back to take his cock, mouth dropping open as your walls flutter around his cock, “Gonna fill you up—you want that, huh?”

“Mhm-mhm,” It’s hard to speak when your face is being shoved into the pillow, hands reaching behind you, desperate to touch him when he’s pinning them to your back with a firm hand. 

He ruts against you with a desperation that has you screaming your frustrations out into the pillow as you listen to his provocative dirty talk, ears full with the sounds of skin on skin slapping against each other. 

“Arch your back,” he commands, letting go of your pinned wrists to allow you freedom of movement, digging his fingers into your hips to physically stop himself from moving to give you the energy to bend forward, watching with sharp eyes as the line in the middle of your back dips, “Just like that, yeah.”

You wind your hands in the pillow, holding it like it's your lifeline as you feel him bend forward, grinding his cock with slow strokes. “Feel good, hm?”

“I—kiss me, please,” you manage to gasp out and he winds a hand in your hair, pulling you up with a firm grip to crash your lips together. It’s messy and desperate, ignoring your protesting neck and back just to lick into his mouth hopelessly.

He tugs your bottom lip with his teeth before shoving you back down onto the bed, resuming his quick, calculated thrusts. “Close?”

You nod, head heavy and snake a hand down your body to your clit, circling your fingers around it a little faster. “Uh-huh.”

“Shit, cum for me—wanna feel you, c’mon.” His hand comes down hard and heavy on your ass, and that was the driving point for you, a broken cry of his name into the pillow as your walls clamp to his cock. He groans, thrusting one, two, three more times before he groans, breathing heavily and you feel cock twitch twice before he fills the condom.

His cock is wedged deep inside you as he stills his hips, riding out his orgasm. There’s a wet noise when he slips out and your body falls limp onto the bed, every single muscle inside your body aches and you feel so sore. 

You shut your eyes closed for a moment when you hear some movement around the room, some shuffling before your cold body is being engulfed by his warm embrace as he climbs back into the bed with you. 

“You okay?” He asks, head dipped in the crevice of your neck, pressing soft kisses against the skin and you nod your head, hands coming up to hold his arm, cherishing his warmth.

“I’m good.” Looking over the curve of your shoulder, you make eye contact with him and smile, “thank you.”

“For what?”

“For being my first time. I really enjoyed it.” 

There’s a look you can’t read on his face but his eyes soften more a moment before he’s moving on top of you. Your body surges up to kiss you, sloppy and happy as his laughter ghosts across your mouth. “You’re so soft.”

“No you are! I saw your eyes soften. I’m not blind.”

“That’s cause—” He looks like he’s about to say something but then shakes his head, looking down.

“Cause what?” You move his head back up to your eyes,furrowing your brows as you wait for him to continue.

“I—I think I love you.”

You swallow, wrinkling your nose and blink up at him, those three words wiping all consciousness from your body. At your silence, he fidgets a little, swallowing constantly and swears he feels heat rushing to his palms.

“Nevermind, I—”

“No! No,no don’t take it back.” You panic, sitting up so quickly you knock your forehead against his. Falling back onto the bed with a groan, you rub at your forehead, wincing a little, “I’m such a mess, sorry—”

“No, it’s fine.” He laughs a little, rubbing his own forehead from the hit. 

“I…think I love you too. You just caught me off-guard and I panicked, I’m sorry.” You grab at his hands, bringing them up to your lips and peck the skin there softly watching as he looks at you, wide-eyed. “No, I don’t think; I know I do. I love you, Ran.”

He doesn’t say anything, looking down at the bed for a moment before chuckling, hand coming up to your cheek to caress it lightly, “Like I said before, you’re so soft.”

“Says you!” You want to hit him again but he’s tugging you down onto the bed with him, wrapping his arms around and you smile, snuggling up to his chest. 

“You’re staying the night, right?”

“Yeah. I don’t think I can walk home anyway, my legs are fucked.”

“Good.” 

[longlivedelusion]

Hiker's Delight

Summary: Bucky takes you on a hike. That's it. That's the fic. Boyfriend! Bucky x Reader. Established Relationship.

Warnings: Just fluff and some mentions of post- Hydra trauma, but nothing too crazy. Will proper edit later!

A/N: Quick lil fic I wrote cause I've been just wanting more boyfriend! bucky, domestic life vibes. I need fluffy and comforting energy rn and this is that. Enjoy!!

Masterlist

I make my way up the hill, huffing as I grab onto a nearby rock to pull myself up.

Bucky's behind me, not out of breath at all, the damn super soldier and his stamina and-

"Hey, you doin' ok?" I hear from behind me, Bucky leaning against a nearby rock.

I nod, looking back ahead as I haul myself up. "This is just a bit more intense than I thought, I'll be okay though." I let out another grunt and I push another step. He's stayed behind me the whole time even though I'm going at a snail's pace, according to him I'd probably drop off and get lost if he lead the way.

"You sure you don't want-"

"No. You are not gonna carry me. I'm gonna finish *grunt* this *huff* damn hike with my own two feet." 

We pull forward, the slopes getting a bit more steep than I expected, which had me nearly sweating by the time we reached the edge. I looked up at the towering cliff knowing my arms were like jello, but I had to, needed to-

Bucky knelt down and held his hands out, a makeshift lift as he looked up at me. He quirked his brow.

"I can-" I start.

"Stop being stubborn and take the help doll. This cliff is a bit of a bitch, if you can't tell." He said waved his arm at the cliff to make a point.

I don't say anything and just sigh, knowing he was right. No use being overly stubborn about this. I prop my foot in his hands, griping where I could on the rock in front of me before Bucky said "Ready? 1... 2..."

And then I was up, the top of the rock pressed against my stomach as I hoisted myself over the rest of the way. I crawled forward, legs starting to feel a bit like jello now that I was on the ground. 

I watched as Bucky followed right after, easily pulling himself over like it was the easiest thing in the world. He stood up with ease, clearly not dealing with same jello legs as I just kind of collapsed on my back and took some deep breaths. 

"Ugh, this damn body. Why must it betray me so." My dramatic ass said.

"Because you just went on a pretty intensive hike with barely any training even though I offered to have you train with me for like 2 months."

My noodle arm managed to raise up and wave him off, "Semantics."

He chuckled, taking a seat beside me and brushing the sweaty strands of hair off my face. "Want some water?"

I nod, eyes closed as my breathing stedied, my body starting to relax and calm down from the overexertion. I heard a bottle cap untwist, making me open my eyes to see Bucky with some water in hand. 

"Come on, you can prop up against me if you want." He said, hand gently helping me upwards. I push myself up and shift over, my back now facing the soldier's chest as he hands me the bottle.

"Oh fuck that's good," I sigh, taking a long swig before passing it back over to Bucky. It takes me a moment, but after I blink a few times I finally realize the view before me.

Directly in front of us is the most beautiful mountain range I'd ever seen-- massive trees lining the edges of the mountainS, an eagle soaring overhead, and a huge, crystal blue lake smack dab in the center. So cut off from civilization, this untouched land surrounded my mountains and only Mother Nature as its mistress.

"Wow, this is-" I start, eyes wide as they tried to take in every detail. The lighting, the shades of green, the textures--all of it... "breathtaking."

"I'm glad you like it." Bucky said softly, his voice a soft tickle behind my ear. His arms wrapped around my waist, tucking me in a bit closer to him as I sat in awe.

"Even though I'm not the biggest hiking fan-"

"Huh, couldn't tell." Bucky joked.

"-oh hush. I was saying, even though I'm not the biggest hiker, I'm really glad you asked me to do this." I reached for his hands on my waist and gave them a small squeeze.

"Thanks for coming. I'd only ever been here alone before, and it was for a mission. So I'm glad I get to actually enjoy it, and with some pretty decent company while we're at it." He kissed the side of my head, a smirk pressed against my hair.

"Oh decent huh? Just decent?" I looked over into his blue eyes and saw they were already looking down at me. That shit-eating smirk plastered on his stupidly gorgeous face. "Says the man who practically begged to take me here."

He shrugged, "I don't remember begging."

"Oh? So all that whining and bribing with takeout was just a lapse in memory then?"

"Probably." He said, the nonchalance to his voice making me wanna shove and kiss his sarcastic ass all at once..

So I settle with a boop his nose and a scrunched smile. "Cheeky." I turn back to the view before me, settling back into Bucky. As I reached into my bag and pulled out the small lunch I'd packed prior, I heard a grumble behind me. "Hungry?" I ask.

"Just a bit." He chuckled lightly.

I pulled some of the sandwiches and some fruits out, grabbing one for myself and handing the other to Bucky. "I can't think of a prettier place I've ever eaten," I said, mouth half full as I took a bite of my sandwich.

He reached for some blueberries, arms brushing past mine as he hummed and popped them in his mouth. "I need to take you out more then. Can't let this be the peak of our relationship now can I?"

"I mean, as long as I can actually physically get to these places ok I'm down. My stubbornness can't handle another hike like this, or I'll try to climb Everest of something next time."

"Eh, Everest is overrated anyways." He said, taking another bite of food.

I turned around in shock, "Seriously? You climbed Everest?"

He had a cocky smile on his face as he nodded. "Yup. Was kidding about the overrated thing though. Impressed?"

"Um, yeah I'm impressed! But when, how, what was it like?" I rambled on. I couldn't believe this man I'd come to know and love still had stuff like this just to learn about. A whole lifetime to know. 

He put the bottle down, thinking for a bit. "About ten years ago, when I was still in..." He hesitated. Hydra. Something we both knew, understood in... Different ways. It didn't need to be said. "I remember bits and pieces, but it was cold as hell and windy. For a second there though, at the top of the mountain, I looked out and was me. Bucky. I didn't remember the last time I had been myself like that, and I just didnt know what to do but take a deep breath in, look out at the mountains. I sat there for... Fuck knows how long."

I set down my food and reached for his hand, my thumb tracing over the back as he spoke. "Is that why you like hiking and climbing so much?" 

He nodded, hand turning and holding mine. He looked at the metal hand below him intertwined with mine before he spoke. "It can always pull me out of whatever headspace I'm in, I don't know. When shit doesn't work and the day feels like hell, being out here just... Helps. It reminds me of who I was or could be. I don't know." He shrugged, looking away at the view.

I squeeze his hand, eyes tracing back to his face. "I think I can sort of understand. Not the hiking or climbing but... Being by the sea does the same for me. Helps me remember that I'm alive and here."

He nods, his gaze still in the horizon. "It's like, no matter how fucked up the world gets or I get, nature doesn't judge. She justs gets it and doesn't care. Doesn't care about who I am or what I've done."

"Because she just sees chaos and order and gets that both are important." I add, fingers still tracing along the side of his face slowly. "The rest of it doesn't really matter."

"Exactly."

We sit in silence for a moment before I shift Bucky's face towards me. His eyes lock onto mine in silent question. 

"Thank you for bringing me here. And sharing this with me."

He smiles as he leans down, a small kiss pressed against my lips before he let his forehead drop to mine. "Happy to."

"So where to next?" I ask, pulling back enough to look at him. "Another mountain? The desert? A tundra?"

"Actually, " he said, that cocky smile gracing his features again. "I got the perfect spot already in mind."