#Vince Noir x reader

[bisexual-thoughtss]

I have 500 followers?! I can’t believe there’s 500 people who like reading the silly stuff I write enough to follow me 😭

I’m so happy to have carved out this little corner of the internet for characters people so rarely write about 🥹

Does anyone want to send in some holiday/Christmas themed requests for anyone I write for as a little celebration?

[altrodent]

Tension

Pairing: Vince Noir x Reader

Genre/Warnings: Fluff, sexual references (nothing super explicit!), use of (Y/N)

Summary: Vince finally addresses the extreme romantic and sexual tension between the two of you. 🫶

It’s been a couple years now working at the Zooniverse, it’s been great for the most part. The pay was nice, the people were nicer, and working with all the animals up close was an amazing experience. You also liked to think you got along with everyone pretty well, but you got along the best with your closest mates Vince and Howard. But when rumors about the zoo closing started to spread, you and more importantly your close friends started to worry about what would happen next. It was a chilled morning when Vince asked to speak with you.

“Hey, (Y/N), let’s have a walk, yeah?” You nod responding, “Sure, but what did you want to talk about?” Vince delicately drapes an arm around your shoulder, as sly as he ever was “Well, if the Zooniverse does end up closing, I feel there are some skeletons I should shake out of the closet, right?” Nodding in agreement, “Yeah, I guess so” he tilts his head over to get a better look of you “Right, well first I think we need to discuss this.” He makes a hang gesture between you and him “This?” You question, “What’s ‘this’?” He scoffs “What do you mean ‘what’s this?’ The sexual tension between us, you know, the spark.” You shake your head “Vince- there is no sexual tension.” He puts his other hand on his hip “Oh yes there is, and it’s strong. You feel it too, I know you do.” You walk with him, befuddled, you always knew it was there, hell even

Fossil knew there was sexual tension between you and Vince and he can’t even spell his own name out. You just assumed that you both knew it was there and both chose to ignore it. But now that the tension problem is staring you in the eye you freeze up. “I uh-“ “See! You do know we have a sexual tension! It’s there, and it’s powerful babe… just what are we gonna do about it though?” He thinks for a second, his mind going to obviously vile places “I don’t know… what do two best friends do what there’s an obvious tension?” Vince leans in and whispers in your ear something that can’t be repeated out loud.

You slap his arm in return, still respecting his stunning ‘no-face’ rule. “Ow, okay, well… the only other thing we could possibly do is maybe… start a relationship?” You stare at him in disbelief “a relationship?” He nods “I thought you were like a ‘new partner every week’ kinda guy, this isn’t like you Vince” he rolls his eyes “Look, I’m an exclusive piece… but, I only was really like that because to me, you’re the only person who can keep up with my fast pace in fashion. And you’re pretty attractive there too, I like that a lot, you’re always very bold.” Vince gently takes your hand and bends down on one knee “Come on, please just trust me when I say that I truly do love you. And no matter what happens to the Zooniverse, I wanna make sure that whatever we do forever, we do it together.” You gently press the tips of your fingers to your mouth, shocked by how genuine Vince was being. “Vince I don’t know what to say…” he looks up at you, pleading “Say that you’ll love me too…” you nod and he smiles brightly up at you quickly moving to his feet, instantly trapping you in a tight embrace.

You return the embrace before he whispers into your ear “I still feel the tensionnnnn” you roll your eyes before looking at him once more “I love you too Vince” he smiles before leaning in and locking his lips with yours, slowly yet passionately kissing you. His hands gently snake around your waist as he begins to pepper your face with small pecks. Your giggles amuse him, as they always have, he pulls away smiling brightly. “Glad to know I’ll be able to see you like this every day, for as long as I’m around” you hug him tightly and he chuckles in response patting your back, letting the sexual tension melt away, and the warm embrace take over.

(A/N): this is just a silly little blurb with Vince, I hope you liked it! 🤭🩷

[random-imagines-blog]

Imagine getting a minor injury while working with Vince Noir.

It was just a little nip. Sometimes the animals got excited around feeding time and would become a little ... exuberant when they took their food. Usually they were patient enough to wait until it got put down in front of them, but this new bird hadn’t yet learned. You kept your cool in front of the kids that were watching, tucking your bloody finger behind the others but as soon as you left the bird enclosure and started to head towards the staff room, you were cursing up a storm under your breath.

“Why is always the small cuts that hurt the most,” You groaned. You probably wouldn’t even need stitches. It was about the same size as a papercut, but stung the same. A bit of a rinse under some water, some polysporin, a bandaid and you’d be good to go. An annoyance, nothing more.

The familiar shuffling sound of the heeled boots. The large hair coming into view, blue eyes, green jumpsuit with the shiny pins, coming out of the staff lounge just as you were about to head in. Vince, of course. The sweet little prince. H stopped right in the doorway, looking at you, taking in the grumpy expression. Then his eyes trailed down your arm to see the bloody fingers. Instantly, his eyes went wide.

“What happened?” He asked, actually loking downright sad. If anything, it made you feel worse that you were worrying him.

“One of the birds,” You said with a shrug, playing it off. “‘s nothin Vince, just need one of those plasters -”

He was already examining your finger and hissing as he looked at it, as if he felt it himself. “You’re going to need something more than a plaster, come on,” He took hold of your good hand and started to run with you, sprint with you, through the zoo. How he managed to do so in those boots that he always wore, the ones that were definitely against regulation, you couldn’t figure out. But that question didn’t stop you from enjoying the way that his hand felt in yours, you admitted to yourself. It was - sweet, how much he cared. Enough to bring you to Naboo.

Vince had you explain what had happened again - literally, just a nip from a bird, before taking control of the situation. “Have you got any lotions or potions? Anything?” He was asking the mystic. You had your eyebrows raised towards Naboo, amused to say the least. It didn’t even hurt anymore, not unless you bent that finger. But here was Vince, acting like you just got your arm pulled off.

“-might have some polysporin in the office?” Naboo suggested.

“Oh, good idea, that,” Vince said with a nod. Of course he’d listen to Naboo. You smiled thankfully towards the short man before you were dragged off again by Vince towards the staff room where you had started from. Ten minutes later, you were poly’d, you had on a plaster with little zoo animals on it and Vince was even... “There,” He said, kissing the bandaid. “Feeling better?”

“Well, I am now,” You said with a grin. The pain had dissipated a quarter of an hour ago but you weren’t going to tell him that. Not when he was being like a helpful little poodle, trying to kiss the sting away.

Requested by: Anonymous

[angstyantoinette]

mark my words soon there will be a Vince Noir fic in my hands and there is nothing you can do about it

literal perfection i tell you

[kissmyhandcallmedarling]

spunky dilf

vince noir x reader

imagine: finding out you were pregnant with vince's child.

(don't ask why i put that gif - its just hilarious.)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twelve days. It was twelve days late. It had never been this late before.

"Oi! Y/n, you up?" The yell of your shamanic landlord and good friend, Naboo, shook you from your thoughts.

"Um, yes!" You hollered back.

"Do ya want some malt loaf? Bollo's just put the tea on."

"Oh, yeah, thanks, Naboo. I'll be out in a minute."

"No worries... Bollo you ballbag! What are ya doin'?"

"Ughhhh," *crash* "I think I may have eat the cakes."

"You idiot! Those were my hash cakes! I made em' for Pete you tit!"

"Sorry."

You laughed to yourself as you got out of bed, wrapping a warm, woolen shawl of Vince's around your shoulders. The antics of your housemates never failed to put a smile on your face - even when you faced such a situation as you believed yourself to be in at the moment.

You emerged from your chrysalis of a bedroom and joined your mates in the kitchenette, taking a seat on the couch.

"Mornin'!" Naboo greeted, sitting opposite you on a beaded pouffe (this was followed by a grunt from Bollo, letting you know your presence was noted).

"Morning."

"What's up with you?" He took a puff of his pipe.

"Nothing's up." You folded your arms tighter over your chest.

"I'm a shaman. I can sense when something's off. And something is definitely off about you this morning."

"Isn't that empathy? You don't need to be shaman to have empathy." Bollo waddled over with the tea and malt loaf on a tray.

"Yeah, whatever. 'Point is," he took another drag, blowing smoke from his nostrils. You were usually alright with the smell of... whatever the hell he smokes... but today it made you positively gag! "Something's different about you, Y/n. I can sense it."

"I have no idea what you're on about, Naboo." You took a bite of malt loaf - it was a little stale, but you were rather hungry, so you ate it regardless. "Where's Vince and Howard."

"Didn't Howard tell you?"

"No...?"

"The dickhead," Naboo scoffed. "Long story. So you know how Vince went to some party last night? Well, he got home about half-three and was pretty pissed-"

You rolled your eyes; Vince enjoyed a cocktail or three, but barely ever got himself truly wasted. However, it was his mate Leroy's bucks party, and so naturally, you weren't surprised he took the opportunity to go to town on the booze.

"He wanted to straighten his hair and basically, he fell asleep on his straighteners and got a nasty burn-"

"Why did no one tell me about this?!"

"I dunno. Anyway, Howard took 'im to the doctors to get it checked. You were still asleep and Vince insisted on leaving you be."

"Right..." You spent a moment comprehending the story. "Shit, it wasn't the Nicky Clarke's was it?"

"Yes. Think so." Bollo grunted.

"Fucking idiot! Jesus christ Vince!"

"Don't take offense, Y/n, but you're being really moody this morning."

"Am I?" You retorted. "Oh, I'm sorry. I only just found out my tit of a boyfriend got himself pissed and ended up with second-degree burns!” You excused yourself from the couch and went back to your room, slamming the door behind you.

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Bloody hell! This was the last thing you needed! Vince going out and getting shitfaced, unbeknown to the fact that he may be a father sooner than he wished! Fuck!

You paced your room, trying to think of what your next move would be. You were too young for this - you told yourself. But you needed to know...

And so you did a test.

*POSITIVE*

You were pregnant.

***

You were midway through the afternoon shift in the shop when Howard arrived back with Vince slung over his shoulders, looking terribly hungover, still wearing his red catsuit and silver boots.

“Ughh, I need a Berocca!” 

Howard gestured for Vince to head upstairs, before walking over to you. “You go look after him. I’ll take care of the shop.”

“Thanks Howard.” You gave him a pat on the shoulder before rushing over to aid Vince up the stairs. Once at the top, you guided Vince into your room and laid him down on the bed. 

“What have you gone and done to yourself, you bloody idiot?” 

“Well I had a few too many flirtini’s at Leroys and…”

“That was a rhetorical question.”

“Oh.”

 “I know what you did. You fell asleep on your Nicky Clarkes.”

“…I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Vince raked a hand through his hair. “I was pretty pissed.”

This whole kerfuffle nearly made you forget about your own situation.

“It’s alright, just so long as you’re alright now.”

“It’s better, now that I’m with you.” He reached to your face and tucked a stray hair behind your ear, before gently pulling your face down to meet his lips in a tender kiss.

You smiled and gave his hand a squeeze.

“You rest up. I’ll fetch you a Berocca and run you a bath.”

“Cheers, darlin’. You’re a diamond.”

You got his Berocca and then set out to preparing his bath with nice warm water, bubbles, and put out his favourite shower gels and shampoos and conditioners (he had alot of those). 

“You ready, Vince?”

“Yeah.” 

You helped him up and walked with him to the bathroom, closing the door softly behind the two of you. 

“Right, let’s have a little look at this wound.” You told Vince to sit, and you crouched beside him. Having since changed out of his catsuit, he pulled up his shirt, and you lowered the already-very-low waistband of his black trousers. The burn was protected by a dressing.

“Can you take it off please. The dressing.” He asked. His voice... was vulnerable.

“You sure?”

He nodded. 

“Can you hold this?” You got him to hold his waistband down while you gently plucked at the corners, trying to ease the bandage from his skin with as little pain as possible. “Almost there.”

He bit his lip as you yanked the stubborn edge from his skin. Vince let out a sigh of relief.

“Thanks for that.”

“Is it sore? Are you sure you’ll be alright to have it in water?” You observed the bright red scar that lacerated his groin.

“A little sore, yeah. But I really need a bath, so I don’t really care. My hair is absolutely mank!”

"So you're saying you'd prefer an infected wound, to greasy hair?"

"It'll be fine!"

“Alright, I’ll leave you be then.” You turned to leave the room, but Vince caught your wrist. 

“No. Stay." His eyes were soft. "Won’t you join me?”

You smiled .“I guess it wouldn’t do any harm.”

He beamed that childish grin of his. 

Soon the two of you were immersed in the hot water and bubbles, Vince retelling stories of the previous night.

"And then, Jaque LeCube, right, he got this massive hose pipe right and chugged a pint of lager in one. I don't even know where his mouth is."

You listened intently, relishing these intimate moments, as your head rest on his chest, surrounded by warm, lavender-scented foam.

Gradually, the chatter petered out, and you simply lay in his embrace, your fingertips grazing his thigh below the water surface.

"Vince?" You broke the silence.

"Hmm?"

"I have something to tell you."

"What is it?"

You sat up and met his gaze.

"I'm..."

"Y/n, what is it?" His expression grew solemn as you struggled to string your sentence together.

You held your breath.

"I'm pregnant."

He didn't respond, simply looked at you blankly, as though trying to comprehend the words you'd uttered.

"Vince, say something." You grew concerned.

"Fuck..."

Your heart sank.

But a cheeky grin broke across his face.

"I've always wanted to be spunky dilf!

"Vince!" You giggled. Not at all the reaction you were expecting.

"You know, like a super cool dad who looks like a rockstar - you know when we pick up the kid from school and all their friends go 'wow, look at their dad! He's so cool!'" He turned to you and took your hand. "So, we're really having a baby then?"

"Yes. Yes we are."

He smiled softly. "You're going to be the best mother to our child."

"And you the best, coolest, most Jagger-esque father!"

"You know it, darlin'." He placed a hand on your stomach. "I love you."

[mercedesvince]

Hello I’m Vince!!

I am a writer who is open to writing requests for x reader

Just a heads up that English is not my first language so apologies for any grammar or wrong use of words :(

RULES

This is meant to be a blog for x male or non-binary x readers

I will not write for female readers as of now (but might change in future)

I will only write for series listed below

no smut (I am not comfortable with that)

There are characters listed below underage, all characters will at least be aged up to teenagers, but even so I will only go as far as kissing

I will not write any sort of NSFW for any character under 18 (what i mean when i say NSFW I mean in a sexual way, things like cussing or slight violence I can do)

I can write angst, fluff or both

If you see a mistake in my writing please inform me on it so I can improve in future :)

If i missed a TW or you notice something i should let the readers know before reading PLEASE let me know, i’d hate for someone to be negatively affected by my writing

Please be nice and respect everybody and there wishes!!

SERIES & CHARACTER I WILL WRITE FOR

(If there is a character I have missed that is not on the list for a specific series and you would like a x reader for please ask and I will let you know whether or not I can write for them :))

South Park

Stan Marsh

Kyle Broflovski

Kenny McCornmick

Eric Cartman

Butters

Tolkien Black

Wendy Testaburger

Bebe Stevens

Heidi Turner

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid

Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

Emily Prentis

Jason Gideon

Jennifer Jareau

Penelope Garcia

David Rossi

Elle Greenaway

Matthew Simmons

Like Alvez

Kate Callahan

Tara Lewis

Sam Cooper

Gina LaSalle

Beth Griffin

Jonathan Simms

Mick Rawson

Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World

Scott Pilgrim

Ramona Flowers

Envy Adams

Knives Chau

Kim Pine

Julie Powers

Wallace Wells

Lucas lee

Gideon Graves

Matthew Patel

Todd Ingram

Young Neil

Roxy Ritcher

Stacy Pilgrim

Stephen Stills

My Hero Academia

Disclaimer I have not watched the series recently, so I do not have everything up to date and can only write up to season 4 :(

Anyone from Class 1A

Anyone from Class 1B

Any Pro Hereos

Any Villians

Mirio Togata

Nejire Hado

Tamaki Amajiki

Saiki K.

Kusuo Saiki

Shun Kaido

Aren Kuboyasu

Aiura Mikoto

Kokomo Teruhashi

Reita Tortisuka

Riki Nendo

Kineshi Hairo

Chiyo Yumehara

Metori Saiko

Chisato Mera

Hunter X Hunter

Disclaimer I am only caught up on the series not the manga

Gon Freecss

Killua Zoldyck

Kurapika

Leorio Paradinight

Hisoka Morrow

Chrollo Lucifer

Any Phantom Troupe Memebers

Ging Freecss

Any Zodiac members

Kite

ROTTMNT

Leonardo

Raphael

Michelangelo

Donatello

April O’neil

Stranger Things

Eleven

Mike Wheeler

Will Byers

Dustin Henderson

Lucas Sinclair

Max mayfield

Steve Harrington

Eddie Munson

Nancy Wheeler

Robin Buckley

Jonathan Byers

IT

Disclaimer I have been trying my best to see the second movie but I have only managed to watch the first so I can only write for things relevant in the first movie :(

Stanley Uris

Ben Hanscom

Beverly Marsh

Bill Denbrough

Richie Tozier

Eddie Kaspbrak

SPIDERVERSE

Miles Morales (earth 1610 & earth 42)

Gwen Stacy

Peter B. Parker

Jessica Drew

Miguel O’hara

Hobie Brown

Pavitr Prabhakar

Spider Noir

Penny Parker

MASTERLIST LINK

This Masterlist includes all works i’ve written on this blog so far!

That is all for now! Thank you so much for reading and feel free to request, I am new to tumblr so please feel free to let me know if I need to add or be more specific on something :))

[nyxnygma]

IM STARTING WRITING FOR VINCE NOIR (THE MIGHTY BOOSH) AND CERTAIN KISS MEMBERS (PROBABLY WONT WRITE FOR THEM THO) AND EVEN IT CROWD

!!PLEASE REQUEST!!

[bohemianimagines]

Make-Up Station

This is very short and I feel like it ONLY JUST fits your request but nonetheless I hope you enjoy! 

Warnings: None

Working at the Zooniverse was the best job you have ever had.

Being assigned to work alongside Vince Noir was a hefty bonus.

You two had quickly grown close; going out on the town and hanging out with him and Moon every single day.You couldn’t imagine living life any differently. Vince was your best friend and confidant. You both did each other's make-up and listened to Rolling Stones vinyls whilst you ignored Fossil.  

Some people had been snickering at the two of you. 

No idea why.

Naboo had even called you into his kiosk and had told you that you would soon acquire a lover. Someone who you were already close to. Your heart leaped in hope at his words. This was short lived as you knew someone as popular and trendy as Vince wouldn’t date you; even just based on reputations alone. 

You still had this encounter with Naboo playing on your mind as you sat on a stool in front of Vince’s large mirror that you both used in order to apply the wild make-up you both liked. 

“What’s up with you Y/N? You’ve been zoning out whilst we’re meant to be applying eyeliner - serious business.”

He added the last remark with a cheeky wink, which made you blush so hard you wanted nothing more than to hide your face in his hair.  

You were so immersed in your hair fantasy that you hadn’t answered Vince at all. Just about as you were about to allow your scattered speech to come up with an explanation, Howard entered through the front door - he cringed at the sight of the two of you sitting so closely together.

“Christ Vince, if she’s meant to be sat on your lap could you at least do it in your bedroom, so you don’t have to spoil the rest of my evening by forcing me to watch people be in love.”

 Howard sulked off to the kitchen as you and Vince turned to one another in pure shock - yet with the anticipation of something new between the two of you in the air. 

[valenthewhore]

ᑌᑎᗪEᖇᑎEᗩTᕼ TᕼE ᗰᗩᔕK

↳ Request: @hangesidekick - vince are ur requests open bc i’ve had a brilliant idea that i trust you to fulfill >:) chat noir x reader, but a masquerade ball!! hehe and you can do whatever you like with that idea! but no pressure ok babes!! take as much time as you need, and if your requests aren’t open then no worries at all!! :)

↳ Vince Note: Hange please i loved this- this is the second version i decided not to post (or finish) the first version cause it wasn't romantic or sad either- it was more of just eh-

↳ FT: GN!Reader x Chat Noir

↳ Word Count: 1141

↳ Warnings: Literally like none- unless you hate baguettes-

The ball was in full swing, everything was perfect just like how you had planned it to be. It was kind of fitting the theme was a night in Paris, seeing as you were in the city of Paris. But it couldn’t be helped, the theme was such a classic and you had even went to greater lengths by making it a masquerade ball.

You looked into the mirror with a smug grin as you placed your blask mask on your face, it had effectively covered the top half of your face. You were totally checking yourself out in the mirror cause why not at this point. After a twirl or two you decided it best to go back into the party and greet your guests. 

All the major people in Paris had been invited, including the one and only superhero team but most importantly Ladybug and Chat Noir. Upon entering the ballroom, your eyes surveyed the room finding somewhat familiar faces. It was pretty easy to pick out some of your friends through their hair and light up the room type smiles. 

The light shone bright on you from above as Nino announced you to the room. 

“Let’s hear it for the one the only Y/N L/N!! You have our sincere thanks for putting this shindig together! Can I get a Hell Yeah!” 

The crowd erupted in a “Hell Yeah!” and you giggled gleefully in reaction. The music started pumping and you mingled in the crowd making sure everyone was having a fun time.

Much to your disappointment you hadn’t seen any of the superheroes you had went out of your way to publicly invite. 

“If you had invited Queen Bee here you won't be an utter disappointment” Chloe had remarked when you went to check on her out of pure courtesy. 

“Well Chloe everyone knows you’re Queen Bee, and you are here aren’t you?” You asked with a smile on your face dodging her insult. Chloe ‘tsk’ed rolling her eyes as she sipped her drink. You took that as a moment to slip away, your job as a host being completed. As you continued to mingle you ran into who you thought was Marinette, her blue bell eyes were hard to miss under the black as night mask she wore that perfectly matched the black slightly bedazzled dress she wore that graced the floor with its light appearance. 

“Hey Mari!” You said waving to her. “Hey Y/N! Awesome party!” Marinette exclaimed giving a kiss on either side of your cheeks in greeting, “By any chance have you seen Adrien yet- You did invite him right!?” 

You chuckled at your friend and her obvious crush on Adrien Agreste. How could you have forgotten to invite the one the only Adrien Agreste. “Of course I invited him…. Sorta-” You admitted looking off into the distance. 

“What do you mean sorta-” Marinette asked her tone lowering as she looked at you suspiciously. “Well, you see, I gave the invitation to Nathalie- She said she’d ask his father and i may have forgotten to follow up- I’m so sorry Marinette-” You felt ashamed, you were trying to get the two of them together alongside Alya but you had messed up badly by not making sure he was going to come. If only you had been able to give him the invitation personally but he was away on some trip when invitations were being given out- 

Marinette’s mood lowered slightly and you quickly followed up with a, “I’m sure he’ll be here! Nathalie wouldn’t not give him the invitation! And I’m sure his father would see no fault in him coming here! It’d be great publicity after all! Anyone who’s anyone is here!”

“Yeah, you’re right!” Marinette’s mood did a complete 180. “Besides if he doesn’t show me and you can stuff our faces with baguettes of the heart broken!” Marinette paused for a moment seeing you look down to the floor. 

“So he really isn’t here- “ You looked back up, “It’s fine, It’s just a silly celebrity crush. It’ stupid-” “No Y/N, don’t say that! I’m sure he’s just fighting a villain with Ladybug and can’t come yet!” Marinette tried to console you. “It’s fine really! Who else would eat the heart-broken baguettes with you?” You smiled moving a stray hair from her face, “Enjoy the party, I have to go check on some things. Kay?” Marinette shook her head in response watching you leave toward the balcony of the venue. 

The cool air washed over you, the view of the eiffel tower in full view, and no ‘villian’ in sight- For once Paris was calm, as if Hawkmoth had taken an off day. It seemed Chat Noir had also taken an off day and chose a different means of relaxation other than the party. You sighed leaning on the rails. Eyes seemingly trained to the night sky.

“Meow-Za someone looks down in the dumps.”

Surprised, you turned around practically face to face with Chat Noir and his bright cheeky smile sitting atop the roof of the venue. “Chat Noir you came?” You couldn’t help the hint of surprise and gladness that laced your words. 

“Of course I came, I wouldn't miss a star appearance for nothing,” His slipped off the roof almost cat like and you were able to seem him in full view, his regular leather suit switched in favor of a dress suit. “Pray tell who might you be underneath the mask?” Chat Noir asked with a smirk on his face as he neared closer to you.

You rolled your eyes playfully, “I thought those were supposed to remain a secret kitty cat-” You returned the smirk his way and he stalked around you with a smile, “Let me guess, you’re the one the only! Gabriel Agreste!” You playfully shoved him, “Absolutely not! I can’t pull off the outfit-” an unfortunate outfit you wanted to say but you kept the judging to yourself. 

“No one can-” Chat Noir admitted leaning against the rails, a look you couldn’t quite describe written on his face as he looked to the sky above. Almost instantly he looked at you, “But hey this is a ball, where we dance and not judge fashion failures-” 

“You’re right! I should go check on the other guests and make sure they are dancing,” You leaned off the railing and looked over to your watch going over To-do’s in your head. Chat cleared his throat placing himself in front of you, “I meant as in for us to dance-”

Oh- OH- You practically froze on the spot as he extended a hand to you with a small bow, “Shall we?” You placed your hands in his with a nod. Looks like you weren’t going to be having heart-broken baguettes with Marinette-

Taglist: @angelchans @hangesidekick

[bisexual-thoughtss]

could I request a vince noir x reader of the fountain of youth episode. When vince is the chosen one 👀 nsfw if u want but sexual tension plzzzs

I loved doing this request! I looked forever to find this gif, but I just had to include it lol

Much to your (and Howard’s) dismay, somehow you’ve ended up on an alien planet as slaves. As soon as the blue aliens had seen the amulet, Vince had been swept away as the Chosen One and you and Howard had been taken and chained up. They’re at least treating you better than Howard, presumably because you’d been smart enough not to say anything rude to them.

When they finally take you to Vince, he gapes at the sight of you for a moment. You squirm under his gaze, your outfit certainly covering more than Howard’s, but still skimpier than you’d prefer. You know more of your blush is on display than you’d like while Vince twirls a feather between his fingers gracefully, eyes roaming your figure. As he rolls the feather across his face, heat swirls in your belly despite your annoyance at him.

You watch as Vince and Howard argue, only breaking in when Howard lunges at him.

“Guys stop!” You grumble, knowing this isn’t going to get you all anywhere.

“Guards,” Vince calls lazily and they’re dragging Howard away. They start to take you too but Vince stops them, telling them to take off your chains before shooing them away. He pats the cushion next to him and you sit down, glaring at him.

“Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit far?” You ask, crossing your arms angrily. His eyes flit down to your now accentuated cleavage and you groan.

“How d’you mean?” Vince hums, trailing the feather along your exposed midriff, making you shiver.

“They’ve taken Howard and I as slaves Vince! Just because they think you’re the “Chosen One”. Are you gonna let them treat us like that?” You shout, trying to get it through his thick skull.

“But I am the Chosen One,” He frowns, still twirling the feather around.

“By chance, you idiot! I had just handed you the amulet when they found us. I could’ve just as easily been the Chosen One, you realize that?” You growl, snatching the feather out of his grasp. You think he might call the guards in again, but he doesn’t. He just stares at you inquisitively, eyes twinkling with mischief.

“But then I wouldn’t have gotten to see you in this cute little number,” he smirks, leaning closer to play with the thin strap of your top.

“No, they would’ve put it on you,” you bite back and climb into his lap, pressing him back into the pillows. You run your hands along his arms, holding his wrists above his head firmly as you lean over him.

“You would’ve been all dressed up for me, at my mercy,” you simper, “I think you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

He squirms under you, pink flaming his pale cheeks as he tries to come up with a response.

“Obviously you like the idea of it,” you hum, canting your hips against his growing erection. He whimpers, arching up into your touch to try and kiss you. You lower your head, denying him the kiss he wants to nip down his neck instead, scraping your teeth against his collarbones and exposed chest.

“Could take that amulet so easy. Right now I think you’d give me just about anything. You’re gagging for it,” you grin down at his glazed eyes, hips still swiveling.

“But I don’t want the amulet,” you tell him and he looks confused in his lust addled state, “you’re gonna keep it, and you’re gonna get us out of this mess, yeah?”

“Y-yeah, I will, promise,” he agrees blindly.

“First thing in the morning,” you tell him and he nods feverishly before cocking his head when he realizes what you said.

“In the morning?” He looks bewildered.

“Yeah, in the morning. I’ve got plans for you tonight.”

[bisexual-thoughtss]

Vince Noir x Reader

Somehow Howard had convinced everyone to go camping again (promises of staying far away from yeti territory and no lectures certainly helped his case). Once again he was fretting over leaving on time, despite constant reminders that this was supposed to be a holiday.

“For god sake Howard, have a drink or something, relax,” you tell him after the fifth time he points to his watch. You and Vince haul your overstuffed suitcases towards the door as you ask Bollo to get Howard a drink.

He brings him a beer and Howard sputters indignantly and begins a rant on driving under the influence before you stop him.

“I’m driving, you’ve seen where your driving gets us. Have the drink,” you retort and Howard is silent, unable to think of a good argument. He huffs and takes the drink and Bollo graciously takes your suitcases down the stairs for you.

Once you’re settled in the van Howard unfurls his map, despite the protests from Naboo and Bollo who are mashed in the back seat with him, and begins giving you directions. Vince sits contentedly in the front seat, pointing out funny sights along the road and occasionally sharing the snacks he’s brought with you. The trip isn’t long and before you know it, you’re taking in the lush trees that fan around the lake you’ll be staying by.

“Wow,” you breathe, “s’beautiful.”

“Yeah,” you hear Vince agree, but he’s only partially looking at the scenery.

The peaceful calm is broken quickly as the other three have a row while they unpack the van.

“I packed all of the tents!” Howard shouts, frowning as Naboo shakes his head.

“Obviously not, there’s only three here you idiot!” Naboo yells back, and you can actually hear all the birds in the vicinity fly away at their noise.

“Boys, please, you’re disturbing the poor wildlife,” you roll your eyes, “it’s fine, we’ll just have to double up.”

As expected, Naboo and Bollo head off with one tent, and Howard grabs the next.

“C’mon then,” Vince smiles at you, grabbing the last tent.

“Oh- you want to share with me?” You ask, surprised.

“Well you don’t want to share with Howard do you?” He asks gesturing over to him.

“Definitely not,” you laugh as Howard wrestles with the pieces of his tent.

“But I can share with him, if you want your own tent,” he offers, but you quickly stop him.

“No, this’ll do,” you blush as he smiles happily at your decision. You two go about setting up your tent, stopping every so often to laugh at Howard’s struggle. Naboo and Bollo have long since finished theirs with some magical assistance, and wandered off to splash in the lake.

“We could go skinny dipping later,” Vince hums and you choke on air, letting out a violent cough. He laughs delightedly at your reaction, wiggling his eyebrows when you glare at him.

You gawk at the tent once you’ve finished it, glaring over at Howard’s.

“You’ve left us with the smallest tent!” You complain.

“I’m a large man, I need my leg room!” Howard argues, ending the squabble abruptly by zipping himself inside his tent. You roll your eyes, turning back to Vince.

“S’pose we’ll just have to squash in,” you tell him, unzipping the flap. He crawls in first, taking the blankets with him to try and arrange them inside. When he’s spread them out best he can, you crawl in after him. There’s not much room and in the scuffle of trying to get in on all fours, you get caught on the edge of a blanket. With your stability lost, you fall forward into Vince, blushing fiercely when you sit up and realize you’re on top of him.

“I think this tent’ll do just fine,” Vince grins up at you.

[bisexual-thoughtss]

Vince Noir x Reader

This one is for @manniqueen-of-depression-blog ! :-)

CW; smut, blow job, cunnilingus, shower sex

You’re all still wearing the weird white outfits from the yetis when you get home from the awful camping trip, and your head still feels a little fuzzy from whatever trance the yetis put you in. Naboo and Bollo immediately retreat to their room, and Howard goes to his.

“I need a shower after that,” you groan dramatically and Vince laughs. You feel hot and sticky from all the running and the scratchy fabric against you is making your skin crawl.

“Dunno why you’re laughing, you stink too,” you poke him in the ribs where you know he’s ticklish.

“Gonna beat you to the shower,” he teases, dancing away from your fingers. You chase after him, both of you breathless from giggling at each other once you arrive in the bathroom. You turn the shower on to let it warm up and promptly toss your yeti-ed clothes into a pile on the floor. It’s not like Vince hasn’t seen you naked before, but he stares like it’s the first time anyway. He sidles up to kiss you but you push him away.

“Yuck, take that off first,” you tell him, not wanting the yeti fur and forest debris on your bare skin.

“You getting in or what?” You ask as you slip into the shower without him, hoping the water will help your over heated skin. He immediately tosses his own clothes to the floor, following you quickly into the shower.

“Are you hot too?” You ask, hand on the dial to turn the water cooler.

“Yeah, s’weird. Usually cold in the van, innit?” He ponders and you agree. You turn the water to a cooler setting and grab your shampoo. Vince takes it from you straightaway and you laugh, knowing he loves getting to wash your hair. He massages the shampoo into your hair, scratching your scalp gently and you feel almost boneless. You love when Vince washes your hair, but it’s never felt like this before.

“Do you still feel weird from the yetis?” You hum, and you feel him shrug.

“Maybe a little,” he replies, maneuvering you under the spray to wash the suds away. You grab his shampoo once the bubbles are washed from your hair and start on his. The hair spray on his rough strands melts away under the suds, returning his hair into its soft, natural state. You run your fingers through it, detangling the messiest parts gently.

“Okay maybe I do still feel weird,” he shivers under your hands.

“It feels really good right? More than normal?” you question and he nods. You try to direct him under the water but he won’t move.

“C’mon, budge up,” you poke him and he finally turns around, looking embarrassed. In the close quarters, his erection knocks into your hip and you laugh at the embarrassed face he makes. You take his hand, leading it between your legs so he can feel the slick pooling there.

“I told you it felt really good,” you remind him, “I think our hormones must still be all over the place or something.”

He’s clearly distracted, his fingers moving to slip inside you, making you gasp.

“You’re gonna get, ah- soap in your eyes,” you try and tell him but he’s not listening, focused on pressing you against the tiles. He leans down, nipping along your collarbones as he rubs your clit. His head jerks up suddenly, his other hand holding his eye.

“I told you,” you laugh as he jumps under the spray of water to rinse the shampoo away. You squirt some soap into your hands and once he turns back around you start to lather at his shoulders. You work the suds down his chest and the attention you pay his nipples makes him squirm, his hips jutting out in search of friction that you deny him. You continue down his tummy until your soap slick hand finally reaches his cock and he groans, his head thumping against your shoulder. He moans as you twist your wrist, thumbing over his head.

“Feel good?” You ask and he whimpers, thrusting into your hand.

“S-so good,” he whines as you let him fuck your fist.

“You gonna come like this? You’re gagging for it,” You tease and he groans.

“Yes! Close,” he huffs against your shoulder. You focus on his head, flicking your wrist repeatedly as he shakes apart. White coats your fist as he finishes, pulling you into a heated kiss.

“Alright?” You check in and he laughs.

“More than,” he pants, reaching for the soap to wash you now. He massages from your shoulders to your hands before moving to your torso, paying ample attention to your breasts. You press into his hands as he thumbs over your nipples, sighing happily. He stays there until you’re begging for more then moves down your body, reaching around to give your bum a soapy squeeze. He lets you step under the spray, the suds swirling down the drain before he drops to his knees. He presses his face into you immediately, tongue diving into your slit, before hiking your leg over his shoulder for a better angle and latching onto your clit. You can’t help when you buck against him, your hands grasping at his head for support. Your grip on his head quickly turns from just needing stability to using the leverage to grind against his tongue. He relaxes his jaw and lets you use him, the moans he lets out only adding to your pleasure. When he can tell you’re getting close, he moves to suckle at your clit again, more firmly this time. You can’t help when you buckle above him, your climax hitting you hard. He sucks until you have to push him away, too sensitive to let him continue. He lets your leg down gently, making sure you’re stable before climbing back to his feet.

“Got proper water boarded down there,” he laughs as he shakes his soggy hair out of his face and you realize you’ve been under the water the whole time, probably directing it right at him.

“Sorry, you alright?” You laugh, pressing kisses along his jaw.

“It was worth it,” he teases, pulling you into another lingering kiss.

“What a way to go though, huh?” You joke and he huffs a laugh as he helps you out of the shower. You dry each other off before wrapping the fluffy towel around him and pulling him close to you. You bask in the skin to skin contact, just holding each other for a moment.

“Let’s go to bed,” you mumble sleepily against his chest.

[bisexual-thoughtss]

Heyyyyyyyy! Can I request howince and reader up to some shenanigans in the call of the yeti episode (any part of it I just love it as an episode) and Vince and the reader have some kind of *non Platonic* connection. Thank youuuuu

I tried my best to sort of write the reader into the episode, I hope you like it!!

Vince Noir x Reader

“A roaring fire, a cup of tea, what more do you need, eh?” Howard asks as you stare down at your cup of tea that you could’ve been drinking at Euro Disney instead of this funky little cabin. Vince and Howard argue back and forth as you sip from your mug, hiding your laugh behind it at Vince’s comments.

“You’ve gone wrong,” you groan as Howard passes out his itineraries for his lecture.

As soon as the papers hit the table Naboo and Bollo bog off to the shaman shop, leaving you and Vince to endure Howard’s lecture by yourselves. You gape as Howard gives you a notepad to “take notes” and Vince slumps into his chair in defeat. You both know how happy it’ll make Howard, despite how bored you’ll be. You scoot your uncomfortable little chair as close as you can to lean against Vince, his arm resting around your shoulders and tucking you into his side. You take turns doodling and writing notes and giggling to each other, exchanging kisses whenever you think Howard isn’t looking. Several times Howard tells you off for “disrupting his lecture” as he puts it. Feels just like being in school again until an ominous clap of thunder booms and a huge mountain man is barging into the cabin.

Vince jumps behind Howard and you follow suit, slotting yourself behind the both of them. Once Howard realizes it’s the man he rented the cabin from, he proceeds to immediately put his foot in it, as per usual. They start arguing about who knows more about the wilderness and who has better scars, which has you rolling your eyes behind Vince until he ends the argument with his own scar. Jack, he said his name was, apologizes and you watch on in horror as he licks Vince’s hand before finally leaving. Just as you start to sigh in relief, Jack crashes back into the door to ask Howard outside.

Once they’re finally gone, Vince starts to unpack, setting his straightener on the counter to heat up.

“Oh god, wash your hands,” you shudder, unable to forget Kodiak Jack. Vince cringes as he dives for the sink, quick to listen to you.

“Reminded me though, we need to put your medicine on that,” you tell him, gesturing to his middle.

“S’alright,” he tells you, but you’re shaking your head immediately.

“You don’t wanna get infected do you? You’ll go all septic and die on me, and I’ll be left with these idiots. You can’t leave me alone to deal with them,” you whine and Vince laughs, shuffling through his things to find the ointment from the doctor. He lets you pull him onto the bed, laying still for you as you push his shirt up and out of the way. Gently, you smooth the medicine over his newly forming scar and he shivers at the soft contact and cold medicine. You press a soft kiss right under his belly button, giggling when he gasps. His eyes had been closed, but they’d shot open at the contact from your lips. You rest your cheek against his warm skin, careful to avoid the medicine as you gaze up at him.

“What?” You ask as he glares playfully.

“You’re a cheeky little tart,” he laughs, pulling you up to kiss you. The kiss gets a little heated before you pull away from him.

“They’re right outside!” You scold playfully. “Sorry, got carried away,” He doesn’t look the littlest bit sorry as he smirks, giving your bum a squeeze.

“Now you really need to fix your hair,” you laugh, the strands extra mussed from your fingers running through it. He gasps dramatically to make you giggle before getting up to look at it in the mirror.

“Aw what’ve you done?” He laughs at the birds nest, picking up a comb and his precious Nicky Clarke. You watch him fiddle with his hair, enjoying getting to see it return to perfect in real time. Eventually you get bored of just looking and hop off the bed to go touch.

“Think we’ll get any real alone time this weekend?” You hum, slipping your arms around his waist to look at him through the mirror’s reflection. He sets the straightener down, tangling his fingers with yours.

“With how Howard’s acting, I dunno if-” he starts, getting cut off by the door slamming open. You both startle at the loud noise, your hearts racing as you jump around to face the door. Vince nudges you back behind him when he realizes it’s Kodiak Jack again. Vince is asking him questions that you can’t hear over the adrenaline pumping the blood in your ears. You’re trying to think of some way out of this when Jack mentions owl beaks and you blanch. Vince has been slowly pressing both of you away from Jack and towards the wall until your back hits the little sink in the corner. You know what owl beaks mean and his next words make you feel sick.

“Pretty little things like you and a big old mountain man like me..” he leers. As you jostle for room to stand in the corner, your elbow hits Vince’s straightener and you flinch away from the heat.

“You’re weird, get off!” Vince shouts and you’re pressing the handle of the straightener into his hand without thinking. Vince glances down at it before raising it suddenly, his other hand holding you firmly behind him. The next few moments are a blur and you can’t see anything behind Vince’s hair. Jack is screaming and you hear sizzling before you hear Naboo and Bollo burst into the cabin.

“There you go, Nicky Clarke, hottest you can get!” Vince yells after the mountain man as he runs out and you feel all the fight leave you as you slump into Vince.

“What’s going on?” Naboo asks apprehensively.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on! I’ve just narrowly avoided a bumming from Grizzly Adams!” Vince shouts, still seething.

“Where’s Howard?” Naboo asks and Vince rolls his eyes.

“Went for a walk or something out on Piney Ridge,” he tells them, and they stare in horror.

“What? Have I got shit on my face?” Vince asks.

“We’re gonna have to go rescue Howard,” you groan into his back.

[bisexual-thoughtss]

if it’s ok can i rq….. some vince comfort it’s been a rough week

This one is pretty short and sweet. Sort of turned into all the Boosh boys comforting you in their own little ways, but it definitely focuses on Vince. I hope you like it and I hope you’re having a better week!!

Vince Noir x Reader

As soon as you leave work all you can think about is seeing Vince. Your day was horrible and you’re in desperate need of some of his sunshine. When you finally make it to the apartment and trudge up the stairs, you find that Vince and Howard are out. With a pout, you change out of your work clothes before heading to the plush sofa. After you find the softest blanket you can, you wrap yourself in it and settle into a little burrito on the sofa.

Resigning to pout until Vince arrived home, you were surprised when Naboo’s door opened and he emerged with a cloud of smoke swirling around him. His eyebrows raise in surprise but he doesn’t say anything, just nods as he walks toward the kitchen. You hear what sounds suspiciously like Naboo muttering an incantation as he walks back across the room and suddenly your blanket is twice as soft as it was a minute ago and toasty warm. You murmur out a thank you and receive one of Naboo’s knowing smiles as he slips back into his room.

Relaxing into the warm blanket, you nearly fall asleep before the boys return home, startling when you hear them clomping up the stairs. It seems like they’re in the middle of one of their daily arguments as they reach the top of the stairs. It dies away quickly when they see how miserable you look in your little cocoon.

“What’s all this then?” Vince asks, settling down beside you.

“Bad day,” you tell him. You’re muffled by the blanket, only your eyes and nose peeking out at this point.

“Come on, little tortilla,” he ushers you into him arms, poking fun at how tightly you’d wrapped yourself in the blanket. You melt into him, just his presence enough to start making you feel better. He rubs your tense shoulders, not forcing you to talk about it if you don’t feel like it.

“It was just one of those days where everything seems against me, yanno?” You tell Vince and he hums.

“Been there,” Howard agrees, startling you a bit with his sudden reappearance. He hands you a cup of tea once you untangle your arms from the blanket, and it’s made just how you like it.

“Thank you,” you tell him as you sip, warmth blooming in your chest. He just nods, patting your shoulder before making his way to his room to leave you and Vince alone. You look up at Vince and suddenly tears are welling in your eyes, much to your dismay.

“Sorry,” you choke out, unable to stop the tears from overflowing.

“Hey, don’t be sorry. S’alright,” he soothes, setting the cup on the end table for you. You bury your face in his chest, his hands rubbing soothingly against your back.

“Today was so awful and you guys are so sweet,” you sniffle into his shirt, feeling his chuckle reverberate in his chest. He shifts so he can lay on the couch and bring you with him, moving you about until you’re settled comfortably on top of him, the blanket now wrapped around both of you.

“M’sorry you had a bad day, sweetheart,” he tells the top of your head, giving you a little squeeze.

“I’ll have all the bad days if I still get to come home to you,” you tell him, squeezing him back.

“Oi, you cheeseball. Absolutely disgustin’,” he jokes and you both dissolve into giggles.

[bisexual-thoughtss]

Characters I Write For!

This definitely isn't a definitive list, if you've got a request for a character that's not on here, feel free to ask!!

X Reader;

BBC Ghosts; Humphrey Bone, Thomas Thorne, Robin, Kitty

The Band Ghost; Mountain, Dewdrop, Swiss, Cirrus, Cumulus

Criminal Minds; Spencer Reid, Emily Prentiss, Penelope Garcia, Tara Lewis

Law and Order SVU; Olivia Benson, Sonny Carisi, Rafael Barba, Casey Novak

Friends; Chandler Bing, Monica Geller

Harry Potter; George Weasley, Remus Lupin

Senseless; Tim LaFlour

Scream; Stu Macher

IT Crowd; Richmond Avenal

The Mighty Boosh; Vince Noir

911; Hen Wilson

Spiderman; Peter Parker

The Santa Clause; Bernard the Elf

Ghostbusters; Egon Spengler

Star Trek; Spock

Bridgerton; Benedict Bridgerton

Ships;

Howince - Mighty Boosh

Spirk - Star Trek

Buddie - 911

Reddie - IT

[altrodent]

Blog Contents

Welcome! This is a catalog of every fic I’ve written. Any slight spicy/NSFW themes will be accompanied with: ❤️‍🔥but I exclusively write fluff!

(Check their warnings for more info!)

Borderlands

Handsome Jack

• Ignited Passion ❤️‍🔥

Timothy Lawrence

• Life Saver

Mordecai

• Caregiving

Troy Calypso

• Tunnel Vision

Baseketball

Joe ‘Coop’ Cooper

• It’s a date ❤️‍🔥

• Kiss me on my Mouth! ❤️‍🔥

• Draft Tests

Doug ‘Reme’ Remer

• Charming

Coop x Reader x Remer

Just For You ❤️‍🔥

Donnie Darko

Donnie Darko

• In My Arms

Peacemaker

Adrian Chase

• Freckled Delight

Ghosts

Thomas Thorne

• Candles, Lanterns, and Fairy Lights

Marvel

Loki Laufeyson

• Wardrobe Malfunction ❤️‍🔥

Evil Dead

Ashley Williams

• Sheila

Wednesday

Xavier Thorpe

• Invisible Adoration (Pt.1)

• Invisible Adoration (Pt.2)

• The Perfect Evening

DC

Abner Krill

• Sundress

• Dating Headcannons

Encino Man

Stoney Brown

• Honey Bun

Stranger Things

Steve Harrington

• Not Losing You

The Mighty Boosh

Vince Noir

• Tension

Sleep Token

Vessel

•Cycle (Part 1)

Hey! Like obscure characters, or even like my stories? I take requests for the low low price of free! Don’t be shy to leave comments or requests 🩷