#WATCH ME LOSE MY MIND I LOVE MY JOB I CAN'T BELIEVE IT

[tobiasdrake]

love your db analysis posts! i'd love to hear your thoughts on ultimate gohan, if you have any. between him having little to no reaction to finding out everyone on earth is dead, and randomly letting gotenks fight buu instead of himself, he did not seem to be the same character at all to me, and iirc even piccolo says so, i just... find it hard to believe a non-rage-triggered power-up would do that to him.

Much like Android 16, I do wonder if there were more plans for Ultimate Gohan that wound up being scrapped by the shift in narrative direction.

We're first introduced to the concept of Ultimate Gohan as the Elder Kaioshin is explaining his abilities.

Gohan's dormant power has long been a recurring attribute of his character. In fact, this isn't the first time he's had an elderly sage draw out his dormant power.

Teaching him to draw out and control his dormant abilities was (stealthily) part of Goku's training with him. That Gohan was finally starting to make it his own and tap into his true ki is the reason for why he was repeatedly unimpressed by Goku's abilities.

Gohan didn't even realize it, but through his mastery of the Super Saiyan, he'd also begun to take control of and internalize the tremendous ki he'd always had stored away in him. And as he came into his own ki, what he could sense of Goku's ki proportional to his own didn't make sense to him.

Super Saiyan 2 was, then, the culmination of Gohan's development. His full power, channeled through the Super Saiyan and its amplifying effects - both for better and, uh, for worse.

But it's been seven years and Gohan's been indulging in his true love of academia, in accordance with the agreement Goku and Chi-Chi made about his future.

Goku may have successfully escaped having to get a job by conveniently dying at the last possible second, but Gohan's future is set on a course. He's going to be an academic. It's what Chi-Chi wants for him, and it's what Gohan wants for himself; Even Goku acknowledges that.

Seven years of rigorous study and zero martial arts practice later, Gohan isn't the guy anymore. In fact, examining just how much Gohan isn't the guy anymore is the whole point of his fight with Dabra.

Goku eyeballs Dabra as being roughly around Cell's power. This allows Dabra to serve as a yardstick for Gohan, so we understand what it means for him when he fails to measure up.

Gohan that was a Zanzoken/Afterimage. Nobody even does those anymore. They became obsolete after ki-sensing was normalized, because everyone can now easily sense which "image" is the real one. The one other time we saw a Zanzoken return post-23rd Tenkaichi Budokai, it was against Frieza, who can't sense ki.

Dabra is mocking you right now. He legit thinks you're so shitty at martial arts that you'll fall for this amateur-hour guff. And he's right.

I kinda feel Geets here. If I had to watch my last chance to ever fight my rival get wasted on this, I'd be losing my mind too. He fucking fell for a Zanzoken; Can I just take over already?

So. Yeah. Full Power Gohan isn't a thing anymore. He can still tap into the form - and for some inexplicable reason so can Goku and Vegeta - but this is no longer Peak Potential. Which is where the Elder Kaioshin comes in.

This is a classic formula of Dragon Ball. We've seen it in the RRA, Piccolo, Saiyan, Namek (twice!), and Android arcs. First, Goku gets the shit kicked out of him - sometimes even to the point of being presumed dead.

While the surviving cast members scurry about trying to find a way to face the bad guy, Goku - sometimes unbeknownst to them, sometimes not - is recovering and preparing to come back stronger than ever. This typically takes the form of some sort of godly trial or ordeal guaranteed to make him stronger than ever.

Then, at the 11th hour when all else has failed and all hope is lost, Goku makes his return to have one last epic battle for the fate of the world/universe/cosmos.

This is the Dragon Ball formula. Has been since the day the Four-Star Dragon Ball saved Goku's life from a lethal Dodonpa. Of course, getting Gohan back up to speed isn't going to be enough, since Majin Buu in his weakest form was able to do this to our Cell-adjacent yardstick.

I wonder what Dabra Cookie tastes like? I imagine it's like the wafer part of a Keebler cookie. Sugary and nice on its own but better with fudge.

So. Yeah. If Gohan's going to throw hands with Buu, he's going to need more than the power he fought Cell with. Fortunately, that's the Elder's specialty, and what makes this different than that other time Gohan had his dormant power drawn out.

That's right, we're limit-breaking again. Not the limits of human ability, the limits of Saiyan ability, or even the limits of Super Saiyan ability; We're limit-breaking Gohan specifically. Elder Kaioshin's abilities can not only draw out Gohan's full dormant ability but push it beyond Gohan's natural limits.

Full Power Gohan? Nah. This is Limit-Breaker Gohan. Not his full potential; Beyond his potential. Something entirely different from the Super Saiyan, but similar enough that he doesn't require much alternative instruction.

Kinda feels like a thing that shouldn't be able to exist, to be honest. After all the time that's been put into things like the strain of the Kaio-ken on a body, the effects of Frieza having power beyond his limits, or even what trying to use Super Saiyan 3 in a mortal body does to Goku in this very arc.

The idea of Gohan channeling ki beyond his limits seems like it should have some drawbacks, doesn't it? We do get some hints that something's weird about Gohan's new power. Piccolo can't even recognize his ki signature in this state.

This form is doing some weird shit to his ki. And, as Piccolo notes, Gohan's harder now. Gohan is here to take care of business, and nothing is going to get in his way.

But. Then. The switch happens. Suddenly, Gohan is no longer the protagonist and we need a way for Majin Buu to suddenly be too much for Gohan to handle. So we go from this:

To this:

In the span of two chapters. All so that Buu can ass-pull a brand new ability that's never once been mentioned before even though Kaioshin will later cop to having seen him do it twice, that will instantly make Ultimate Gohan stop being a solution to this problem two chapters after his debut.

A plan that, in fact, he began putting into place one chapter after Ultimate Gohan's debut. Never in the history of Dragon Ball has a brand new form or ability been obsoleted this quickly.

And then Gohan was basically thrown in the dumpster and this was never spoken of again, with Ultimate Gohan just becoming his new Strongest Transformation in follow-up products. You can feel the climactic final act being aggressively aborted around him, in favor of Goku and Vegeta's third act.

Hell, at one point, Goku even suggests bringing in Gohan to fight Pure Buu. Y'know. Since Ultimate Gohan is the strongest in the universe and all that. But Vegeta nopes it.

No explanation offered. He's just like, "That's not the plot anymore; Try to keep up, Kakarot." To be fair, Goku had a chance to bring Gohan into this too. They're both aggressively elbowing Gohan out of the spotlight here.

Mad disrespect.

[dogblessyoutascha]

New chapter of Kairos dropped. You know what that means? MORE BARDUIL BONDING. Thank you @scary-grace for gracing (ha) all of us with this amazing fic and me with the opportunity to draw for it. <3

[sednas]

i wanted to write something nasty but it ended up being quite sweet, don't blame me i just need love

⠀ૈ☆ ex-husband nanami x fem!reader

𓏲 ࣪₊♡ tw: [n]sfw, breeding kink, jealousy, possessiveness, fluffy ending

it only took one look, just one look across the room full of guests to reignite something that had never really been extinguished.

nanami's grip around his glass of wine got a little tighter, his eyes flashing at you and his heart starting to beat fast.

he became more muscular since your divorce, his shoulders looked stronger, carrying him with much more confidence and charisma than before.

maybe he finally quit his shitty job, you thought to yourself, trying to act cool as you saw him coming closer...

yeah he definitely quit his job, you think to yourself again, laying on your back while his cock is splitting you open.

"I missed you so much my love..."

familiar goosebumps hit your skin and his hands slide along the curves of your waist, the tip of his cock pushing against your cervix.

all you can do is take it, unfocused eyes watching your ex-husband thrusting inside your dripping pussy. nanami grunts, his body pressed against your own, his breath fanning over your neck, and you can't help but moan his name and wrap your legs around his hips, trying to meet his thrusts.

"'missed you too kento..." you try to speak, your hands reaching out to hold his face.

you missed everything about him, the warmth of his skin, his cologne scent, how messy his blond hair gets when you run your hands through it, and the way he knows every single one of your weak spots.

he never fucked you this hard in the past, of course he was rough sometimes, but you can tell something has changed, snapped.

not that you're complaining about it.

your back arches off the bed, making his pelvic bone touch your spasming clit.

"this time I'm not letting you go angel..."

his eyes get darker, thinking about the potential men and women who had you since your divorce, it makes him fuck you harder, deeper.

"mine..." he whispers, more to himself than for you to hear.

he takes your hands to pin them above your head and smiles when he hears you whine.

"you're gonna cum angel?" he asks, not slowing down his thrusts.

he knows you by heart, and he smiles when you nod, his mouth starting to suck on the soft skin of your neck, marking you.

"that's okay, I'm gonna cum too..." he says, and you can feel his hot breath hitting your skin.

he keeps rubbing your sweet spot, completely lost in the feeling. god he missed that feeling, you're the only one who can make him lose his mind like that, he can't believe he let you go when you're this perfect.

"you're still not on birth control?"

and he smiles again when he sees you shake your head. so perfect.

"gonna put a baby in you yeah? gonna make you a mom... will you let me angel?"

you mindlessly nod your head, wrapping your legs tighter around his waist, your whole body is trembling and you feel his cock twitches inside of you.

"please... breed me..." you sweetly asks, and he can't deny you.

your vision gets blurry, your eyes roll back and you violently cum around his cock as he does the same in you, still thrusting to push his cum deeper. you both stays silent for a few seconds, nanami's head buried in your neck, inhaling your familiar scent, closing his eyes of content when he feels your hands rubbing his back.

"I love you, I've never stopped loving you, even after six years..." he whispers, his voice sounding almost vulnerable as he kisses your shoulder.

you ruffle his hair, and you whine a little as you can feel his cock still pushing against your cervix.

"I'm here now, I won't leave."

he hums, his arms wrapping around your waist and you can feel yourself slowly drifting off to sleep.

this time you both won't let go of each other.

jjk masterlist

[wispythreads]

I did catch on to that part of it with him bouncing between jobs so frequently, and some of the other things like the fridge freezer, but they were still included in the jumbled up thoughts I listed out partly because I was thinking about them before coming to an answer, and partly because I'm not fully sure if those answers are all there is to it.

Cause, yeah, there’s the newspaper clipping rebuking him for being “unprofessional and brash” (which damn that’s also just rotating in my head because Vince was clearly reading this specific clipping earlier and blatantly lied saying Rody hadn’t been mentioned at all, later scribbling out the section talking about the waiter), he’s very clearly messy and unkempt in pretty much every aspect of his life, and even if he gets the to-go question right in the tutorial, Vince appends the "Good work." with "keep tone in mind."

But, the thing is, he does know a lot of the basics. Much of the tutorial is really just for the benefit of the player to know how the mechanics of the game works, Rody meanwhile nods along and does whatever task is needed without comment, only getting tripped up when Vince mentions the way the menu for his bistro works, and when the aforementioned customer asked if he could get boxes to go or call in his order ahead of time. Which I think are reasonable things to get tripped up on! Those seem like things that would vary depending on the establishment he was working for.

I keep thinking about his reaction when Vince pivoted the conversation of "do you actually like your job" onto Rody. His awkward response that it paid him money. Vince voicing specifically “I doubt you wanted to wait tables for a living-”, and that being met with how there was “something” Rody went to school for, that he was too hesitant to tell Vince, feeling he’d get made fun of. The impression that its some passion he had that just didn't work out. The revelation later that the “something” in question was him majoring in hospitality.

He was afraid he'd be made fun of for actively going to school and choosing to study for skills that, either ironically or purposefully, would've been useful for his current job of waiting tables. A goal that he flunked out of. He has had 28 jobs in the service industry over the course of 7 years. He keeps losing his job, but he also keeps getting hired.

I keep thinking of the post-credits scene of the Best Served Hot, whisky lemon cake ending. "I can't keep watching you ruin any semblance of progress you make with yourself while trying to make me happy, it's exhausting-"

He's only 4 days into this job when he approaches Vince for a raise. He already figures he'll have enough to do something nice for Manon, his "girlfriend," by the end of the week, but he wants more to make it really special. He is very clearly told 'no.'

On the 5th day, when his shift is finally over and done, we don't next see him as we usually do, back at his apartment. He's still at the bistro, all the lights turned out. The only other person presumably being Vince hacking away at the meat in the freezer that'll be used for the meals in the morning. The first time I went through that night, I presumed Rody had just been selected to stay late and help clean up for the night, with whatever Vince was doing in the background ominous horror ambience to be unsettled by.

But we can't really do anything while there that would support this initial assumption. There are only two things you can do. Snoop around in Vince's office, and... steal from the cash register. Whether you avoid doing the latter as I did or not, it has no bearing on whatever ending you get, but just the fact that it's even an option to Rody...

How many other times did he allow his love for Manon to rule over his decisions, making choices in the pursuit of what he believed would make her happy, no matter the cost, before finally facing a price for his obsession beyond the scope of his worst nightmares?

...

And after all that I do want to defend the rollerskates a bit because

Rollerskates in restaurants are kinda a thing, in the 1960s (the year this game is set) they were a pretty popular gimmick/tool for diners in the U.S. at least, not sure about elsewhere in the world unfortunately

Yeah he canonically brought and proceeded to wear rollerskates to work at a fancy bistro. But that also means Vince watched him show up to work one day, wearing rollerskates, and just let him do it. Just watched Rody roll around his fancy bistro attending to customers that expect the highest of professionalism, and said nothing.

[pacifymebby]

I cry when people yell at me(parent issues™️) and I was wondering how the peakys would react to that, like I can handle most things but yelling is like a big nono for me, would they be concerned or tease me for that, I don't think they will but I'm interested on how they'll react to it for the first time it happens, or if I yell back for the first time? You just do a great job at writing these characters💛

( im sorry if this is too personal or whatever)

AN: not too personal my lovely dw, here at Pacifymebby dot Tumblr dot com we (me) totally specialise in ✨ fanfiction as therapy ✨ haha. Sorry these have taken me ages to do. I'm also a crier when men shout at me so I hope I've written this how you wanted!!!!

Tommy

🌿 Is genuinely very shocked when, mid argument, you start crying. You've seen so much worse than this, you've witnessed some terrible things because of him and his brothers, the fights they get into every week. Only last week you'd watched with as calm a demeanour as one could manage, whilst Arthur had a violent breakdown and smashed a chair up at the dinner table. You'd not shown a shred of fear. But now, here you are, silent, heartbreaking tears streaming down your face and why?

🌿 because Tommy raised his voice at you.

🌿 you couldn't even remember what you'd been arguing about now. You'd seen red and blue fear in your mind the second he'd raised his voice. You'd watched him lose his temper with you, his jaw tense, his face going red as he yelled at you, his expression so angry, so cold and unforgiving. And it had shocked you. Tommy had never raised his voice at you before. You'd seen him shout at his brothers but he'd never shouted at you.

🌿 and the sight of you suddenly drained of colour, your skin taking on that strange bloodless translucency as you starred back at him wide eyed and fearful... it shocks him. You're looking at him like you don't recognise him and suddenly there's a lump in his throat.

🌿 He reaches out for you but you flinch away from him, backing away slowly and then suddenly fleeing, running away, vision blurred by your tears. You don't really know where to go and you can here him calling after you, but his voice raised shouting down the hallway for you only makes it worse. Only adds to your fear.

🌿 you're certain that you're in trouble so you don't stop even when he calls after you. Thing is he hasn't even said he's sorry. Hasn't realised why you're running from him.

🌿 "Y/N love for fuck sake what're you doin... we need to talk about this... Y/n stop!"

🌿 He's chased you out to the gardens, still shouting, still not getting the hint... it's only when he shouts again, louder this time, screaming your name across the lawn that you freeze. His voice seems to shake the whole world and it strikes the fear of god into you. So you stop. And he thinks thats the problem solved, that you've stopped running away from him now so he can return to you and you can talk like grownups.

🌿 but when he gets closer to you you back away some more, and even when he warns you to wait for him you edge away. Every step he takes you take one back until you find yourself backed up against a tree, looking at him with all this fear in your eyes.

🌿 He's careful as he approaches, one arm out to you, trying to coax you back to him... he can see that something has absolutely terrified you but it's only when he gets close enough to touch you, only when he brings his hand up to fix your hair that he realises what you're scared of.

🌿 "Don't hurt me!" You gasp, eyes squeezed shut, your body rigid with fear as you bring your hands up to protect your face. And it's that which makes him realise. That movement, that fragile tremble in your voice as you beg him not to harm you that breaks his heart.

🌿 and the realisation hits him like a freight train, chokes him. He can't believe you're frightened of him. He can't believe it's him who has caused you all this terror. You're trembling, your hands shaking the way a rabbit shakes when it knows it's being hunted.

🌿 He let's out a sigh, closes his eyes and tried to steady his own shaken nerves. He doesn't want to scare you anymore.

🌿 "Y/n, angel listen to me girl, I'm not going to hurt you..." he says, his voice a gentle caress as he takes your trembling hands in his, draws them away from your face and places them on his chest. He holds then both to his heart underneath his hand and with the other he cups your cheek. Makes you look up at him, catches your tears with his thumb and brushes them away.

🌿 "I scared you," he says looking at you ever so mournfully, he feels so guilty and you can see the hurt in his eyes. It just makes you feel worse and you shake your head trying to apologise. You can feel his heart beating beneath your hands, it's racing, his adrenaline too high and you feel guilty yourself because you made him angry.

🌿 "I'm.. I'm so sorry Tommy I made you angry I shouldn't have pissed you off its not..." but he cuts you off, finger pressed to your lips to hush you as he steps closer to you, his body so close to yours that you have to tilt your head back to look up at him. His head is bowed to look down at you.

🌿 "Shh now angel I'm talkin yeah, my turn to talk now eh so listen to me..." he's being ever so gentle, his hand holding your hip, the other tucking your hair behind your ear and stroking your cheek. He doesn't look harsh or sharp anymore, instead of anger his eyes are full of love. "Don't you apologise to me sweetheart, please don't do that... I'm sorry I shouted at you angel, shouldn't have done that but listen to me now eh cause this is important..."

🌿 You can't take your eyes off him, you're still shaking, still crying, your hearts still racing, but you're not frightened anymore. He's looking down at you with such an intense honesty, you can see the remorse in his eyes when he talks to you in that sweet gentle voice.

🌿 "I will never hurt you alright, I promise... even if I'm angry yeah, even if we're havin a blazing bloody row, I won't ever lay a finger on you like that sweetheart, I won't ever hurt you.."

🌿 You'd probably start crying all over again, burying your face in his chest, feeling his arms wrap around you and hold you tight. His hand stroking your back as he bows his head to place a kiss on yours. He'd cradle your head against his body and rest his chin in your hair. Close his eyes, hold onto you tight and treasure the feeling of you in his arms.

🌿 "You really fuckin scared me Tommy..." you'd sniffle struggling to calm yourself down.

🌿 "I know angel, I know and I'm really fuckin sorry alright..."

Alfie

🐻 He didn't mean to shout, Alfie's never raised his voice at you before because he doesn't believe in shouting at women and girls. He has a very firm, traditional view on that and he's stubborn about it too. No swearing, shouting and hitting women and girls.

🐻 The only reason he shouted is because he panicked, you were wandering around in a daydream so you hadn't noticed the tension in the bakery when you'd entered through the back door on your way to see your beloved. Tommy Shelby had just left, informing Alfie that he'd set up a trip wire to ensure his safety, that if he tugged on the string in his hand he would pull the pin from a grenade which would blow up half the bakery, starting a monstrous fire which would probably kill all inside. All those barrels of rum would go up in flames.

🐻 And you were one step from tripping that string which Tommy had tied to the leg of Alfies desk all, "I'll let you deal with this, have a think about what I've said whilst you work eh, careful though, its a delicate procedure..."

🐻 So when he'd seen you Alfie hadn't thought twice, shouting "Y/N stop! Stay there, fuckin don't move!" and luckily you'd frozen. Your body going rigid as the fear struck you like lightning.

🐻 He'd startled you for sure but more than that the sound of his voice ricochetting around the room, the voice of a man who was usually so tender and gentle with you, always so protective of you.. He'd never spoken to you like that and hearing it now struck ice cold fear into the very bones of you.

🐻 Alfie doesn't even notice at first, doesn't notice how you've gone white as a sheet, can't even move, he's too worried about that wire, too busy trying to work out what to do. Hoping there's a chance Tommy was bullshitting him. Hoping that actually there's nothing to fear.

🐻 And poor you, you're just stood there, hand clutched over your mouth starring at your love in shock. You don't know what to do because you don't want to embarrass yourself by bursting into tears over a little shouting, but you already know it's too late. Alfie really scared you, and he's never scared you before.

🐻 So you can't hold it back, you're trembling all over with the effort of fighting your tears, some have already escaped, you've swallowed down a sob already but it's the fact that Alfie's not even looking at you. The way he shouted at you so sharply, so harshly, and he isn't even looking at you now. You're struggling to reason with your own anxiety, convinced that you've done something wrong, that he hates you...

🐻 but then he hears it. The sound of your choked sob, one you'd tried and failed to hold back. And once the first escapes the damn breaks and you're in floods of tears. You don't move, frozen to the spot but your hands are over your face and your crying so mournfully that the sound sends an icy shard through Alfie's heart. Suddenly the hidden explosive is the least of his worries.

🐻 "Fuck," he grumbles to himself, telling himself off for snapping at you, "gentle Alfie what have I fuckin told you man, sometimes yeah you have to be fuckin gentle..." he's grumbling to himself as he reassesses his predicament. He knows he needs to get to you and get you to safety but he knows he can't get to you without risking your safety.

🐻 So he sighs. "Ziskeit, my dear, y/n poppet I'm sorry yeah, didn't mean to shout at you ziskeit, didn't mean to shout.. that was just me you know... panickin right, but I shouldn't have shouted at you yeah lovely girl I'm sorry..." he's making his way towards you very slowly and very carefully, talking soft and gentle, hands out because he doesn't want to startle you. His eyes flickering with concern between you and the wire you almost tripped.

🐻 "See my ziskeit, down there right by your feet yeah, there's a wire right and I need you to be very careful cause it's very dangerous yeah..." he doesn't want to scare you more than he already has but he also doesn't want you to move and accidentally set it off.

🐻 When he finally gets to you he doesn't hesitate to wrap his big arms around you and give you the warmest, tightest bear hug. He holds you firm against his chest, strokes your hair and cradles your head, burying your face in the crook of his neck. His beards tickley on your cheek and you're all wrapped up in the comfort of his musky scent.

🐻 "There, there my little ziskeit, s'alright now yeah, your Alfie's got you my darlin an he ain't lettin you go.."

🐻 He takes your hands from your face, won't let you hide and then he wipes your tears away with his thumbs. You can't just turn the waterworks off though and the tears keep coming.

🐻 Alfie feels so guilty.

🐻 But he'd hold your face in his hands and put his forehead against yours, looking down into your watery wounded eyes with such an intense devotion.

🐻 "Didn't mean to scare you poppet, please don't be scared now yeah, I'm here, I love you... I didn't mean to shout."

🐻 He'd probably call Ollie or one of his trusted men for help, he'd be instructing them on how to undo and disarm Tommy's trap, all the while still holding you and hushing you. The contrast between the way he barks orders at his men and then turns to you with the most tender, soft voice, shushing you and stroking your hair.

🐻 Promises he'll never shout at you again, but also, because he knows what he's like he also promises that if he does raise his voice at you, it won't be because he's angry and it won't be because he hates you. It'll be because he'd a stupid old man who forgets himself sometimes.

🐻 You'd sniffle, this shy smile on your lips as you tell him "you're not a stupid old man..." and he'd just chuckle, kiss your nose and brush your hair away from your tear stained cheeks, probably catching another tear on his thumb. "I am for making my ziskeit cry, but, you have my word now don't you girl, ain't ever gonna make you cry again..."

🐻 It's a big promise but Alfie is truly devoted to you and so protective of you that he really does hold it against himself forever. He's always viewed himself as your protector so the idea that you were scared of him is horrifying to him. He really does intend to keep his promise.

🐻 Will set a rule in the bakery and the warehouses that if you're around nobody is to raise their voice for any reason. He'll spin some bullshit about how it's very fucking rude and inconsiderate to shout when there are women and children present. If anyone breaks that rule Alfie will not hesitate to silence them in his own special way.

Arthur

🍂 It's probably not the first time this has happened let's be real here, this is probable not even the first time this has happend this week...

🍂 Arthur's emotions aren't exactly the easiest thing to endure... for either of you. He has a quick temper and he doesn't know how to express himself. If he's scared he turns to violence, if he's upset, he turns to violence, if he's angry, violence... even when he's happy or excited something usually gets broken, he usually forgets himself, talks too loudly... shouts...

🍂 And even though you're used to Arthur and his loud, uncontrollable and often unpredictable ways, you've never been able to get used to his yelling. You've always been easily startled and people yelling, raised voices has always set you on edge. And when someone shouts at you well, you always cry. You can't help yourself and you feel so stupid for it sometimes too... especially when it's Arthur who has made you cry because you know you should be used to it by now. You know what he's like... when he shouts and you start crying you always feel like a stupid child who can't control her own emotions.

🍂 But Arthur understands how that feels. It's not like he can control his either...

🍂 So of all the Blinders Arthur is the most sympathetic. It's not just that he feels terribly guilty for making you cry, it's that he hates how bad about yourself it makes you feel too and he wants you to learn not to be so hard on yourself.

🍂 So, he's always trying his best not to shout, for whatever reason... sometimes he comes home ecstatic about something that happened at the Garrison, he's half way through shouting through the house for you when he cuts himself off.

🍂 "Nah what have I fuckin told you Arthur Shelby, indoor voice for y/n, nice, gentle indoor voice..."

🍂 But of course this is Arthur and no matter how hard he tries he forgets himself and loses control on the regular. And when he does you also lose control... Arthur is an intimidating man at the best of times and when he shouts he is so fucking scary... especially when he's shouting because he's angry, and especially if he's shouting because he's arguing with you...

🍂 When that happens you probably don't just cry, you burst into tears, really dramatically... you'd shrink away from him, curl up on the floor crying your heart out, shaking, sobbing into your skirts and then when he realises what he's done it hits him in the gut and he does cold, panicks. He feels so guilty for scaring you again and rushes to try and hug.

🍂 Gets down there on the floor with you and bundles you up in his arms. His whole demeanor changes in an instant, all the fight knocked out of him in seconds as he rushed to comfort you.

🍂 Cradles you to his chest, rocking you to sooth you as he apologises over and over again. "For fuck sake darlin come here, fuckin 'ell I'm such a bloody idiot, I'm sorry my darlin I'm fuckin so sorry alright... didnt mean to scare you girl, y'know I love you don't I, ain't gonna hurt you, didn't mean to scare you just forgot meself that's all, you're alright my girl, I've got you eh, your Arthur loves you very much an he's very fuckin sorry for being such a fuckin dinlow eh..."

🍂 You'd be clutching at his shirt, sobbing into his chest, doing your best to calm yourself down, mentally chastising yourself for being so stupid because you know he didn't mean it, you know it was an accident, that you're safe with Arthur, that he won't ever hurt you... but even so, he scared you so much...

🍂 you'd push yourself up in his lap and try to wipe your tears away, probably trying to pull away from him and act as though everything was fine even though all you want to do is nestle deeper into his embrace and hold onto him until your heart stops racing.

🍂 And Arthur knows you well enough to recognise what you're doing so he isn't going to just let you go and pretend you're fine.

🍂 "Right now where dya think you're goin darlin..." he'd start, catching your hand and tugging you back into his lap, his arm locking around your waist, the other hand using his sleeve to dry your eyes. "Look at me yeah, got all the time in the world eh so I don't know what you're rushin off for darlin..."

🍂 "S'alright I'm alright now Arth was just being stupid wasn't I, you didn't scare me it's fine just bein..." but he'd cut you off shaking his head, giving you that frown which means 'dont give me all that rot y/n, I know you.'

🍂 "Nah," he'd say, "now don't start with all that shit now darlin, not wi me eh, I did scare you and you ain't stupid for bein scared neither... you ain't stupid at all..." "but..." when you try to argue he holds your face in both hands, your nose pressed up against his, his scruffy hair tickling your cheek as he gets right up close to you. His eyes are so intense when they lock with yours. "No buts now sweetheart, I fuckin scared you, I know I did and I'm fuckin sorry for it too... I'm the one who lost control so I'm the one who has to apologise right love, so I'm fuckin sorry yeah sweetheart, I hate scaring you an I never wanna do it again yeah... need to start using me fuckin brain eh love..."

🍂 But you hate seeing him put himself down so you're there holding his face in your hands too, looking up at him with such intensity, such stubbornness, it would be infuriating for him if he didn't currently feel so guilty. "You're not a fuckin idiot Arthur... don't call yourself stupid alright..."

🍂 For you and Arthur these scenes always end in the most loving of embraces, him holding you tight against him, you sitting in his lap on the floor, the two of you holding onto one another so carefully, so lovingly, your eyes locking as you tell eachother again how much you love one another. Your lips meeting in a desperate adoring kiss. One neither of you want to pull away from.

🍂 "Fuckin love you my darlin, don't even mean to upset you eh, I'll try harder yeah, Indoor voice from now I promise..." he says in as close to a whisper as Arthur Shelby can manage, kissing your face all over. Kissing away the last of your tears.

🍂 He always promises he won't shout at you again, you always promise you'll stop crying when he does. Both of you know that in a couple days time you'll be going over the whole routine again.

John

🌼 For all that John is a very laidback man, he has a temper on him and he has a very strict sense of morals, right and wrong (despite all of his moral activities) and when he feels strongly about something he will argue about it... and he has a temper on him.

🌼 When he loses his temper things can get messy, too emotional... He doesn't usually lose him temper with you though and so when he does it comes as even more of a shock.

🌼 He doesn't mean to start shouting at you, he already knows you don't deal well with it... Your voices have both been raising slowly as the arguments been escalating and when he finally starts really shouting you shout right back...

🌼 He didn't even realise he'd shouted until he heard your voice shouting back... suddenly cracking because you're trembling, because you've been fighting back your tears and they've just escaped.

🌼 He sees the tears streaming down your face and realises that you aren't even shouting because you're angry, your shout was one of fear. A "Stop it! Stop fucking shouting at me John fucking stop it!" Your hands over your ears as you shout at him from across the kitchen table, your eyes desperate with heartache and fear.

🌼 For a second you're looking at him with real upset and shock, like you don't recognise him at all, like he isn't your John anymore...

🌼 He feels terrible. He's gripped with guilt, a pain in his throat squeezing and aching, he's choked up by tears in his own eyes. Sometimes feelings are too big and John can't handle them.

🌼 Views himself as being the good family man, a loving, caring husband, a protective father, the man who looks after everyone, provides for them, so the idea that he could have done to his wife the one things she really can't handle, disgusts him. He's really disappointed in himself and he's determined to make it up to you.

🌼 He'd raise his hands up in surrender, his eyes full of guilt, his cheeks a little flushed as a tear escapes his eye, he's stepping away from the table, approaching you cautiously.

🌼 "Am sorry flower, I'm sorry..." his voice is wobbling but he's talking quietly now, as if lowering his voice like this is going to make up for the violence of his shouting at you moments before... and it does a little, or at least, his sudden effort to be gentle and careful calms you, lets you know you're not in danger.

🌼 He'll wrap his arms around you carefully, waiting for you to come to him, waiting for you to let him hold you. But when you feel the outline of his embrace you crumble, throwing your arms around him, sobbing into his neck as he closes his hold around you a little tighter, keeping you secure.

🌼 He'll hush you and rock you, doing his best to calm you down, all the while apologising for losing his temper.

🌼 "I'm so sorry little flower, I shouldn't have shouted at you, shouldn't have lost me temper that was fuckin stupid of me wasn't it..."

🌼 Lots of kissing your hair and your forehead. Will hold you as long as you need to calm down.

🌼 Will wipe your tears and tap your nose. Will hold your face in both his hands, thumbs brushing over your cheeks, forehead to forehead promising you very passionately that he'll never shout at you like that again. You can see it in his eyes how strongly he feels, he's got tears in his eyes and he's perhaps crying a little too. He's talking but his jaw is clenched and the words are forced through his teeth so they come out really shaky but certain.

🌼 You catching his tears on your thumbs and brushing them away. The two of you eventually smiling at that, making a little joke about how over emotional you both are.

🌼 If you try to apologise for having cried, or if you try to joke about your tears, how silly it was of you to cry just because he shouted at you he will shake his head, cut you off all "no, no... no way flower, you ain't silly for cryin, you ain't supposed to like bein shouted at and your husband definitely ain't supposed to be shoutin at you like that neither..."

🌼 He'll be extra sweet to you for many days to come, bringing you flowers, talking particularly gently to you too. Lots of affection, hugs, kisses, holding your hand whenever he can, layering it on thick so that you know he still loves you... he knows how sensitive you are and knows that you'll still be worrying about the argument days later, so he'll do as much as he can to show you he loves you.

🌼 Once during a particularly heated family meeting Tommy shouted down the table at you for something you said, John was livid, white as a sheet with rage as he put his arms around you and stood protectively behind you. He was glaring so sharply his stare could have sliced Tommy open. Later you heard them scrapping when everyone else had left.

Bonnie

🍀 Bonnie is such a calm lad, he never shouts even when he's threatening other people. He's not the kind of man who raises his voice unless he really has to, he's usually the quietly threatening, controlled anger, spitting his threats through gritted teeth, not yelling...

🍀 It would take one hell of an argument, you'd both be feeling fragile and desperate, both of you shaking with he strength of the heartache and distress you're feeling.

🍀 Whatever you're fighting about it's been brewing for awhile so you both have so many thoughts, so many troubled feelings you need to get off your chest...

🍀 And when he does shout its because he feels a sudden panic, has a sudden fear that he will never be able to explain himself, never be able to make you understand... it's a truly desperate shout, almost a plea... "Would you just listen to me for a second love I'm trying to..."

🍀But he doesn't even finish the sentence, the second he realises he's yelled at you he feels a wee bit sick, his hands shaking and suddenly he can't speak at all. He's watching you, you're frozen, starring back at him with these terrifyingly sad wide eyes...

🍀 he can see he's just broken your heart.

🍀 For a moment theres silence, you're just starring back at him in shock, he's watching you, scared to move or say another word because if he does he's worried something between you will break. That you're both hanging on by a thread.

🍀 And when the thread snaps and you come back to life, your hand rising to cover your mouth and catch your sob, your eyes closing as your whole body shivers with the effort of fighting back tears, Bonnie watches you with this hollow weight in his stomach, this cold lump of guilt.

🍀 Swallows a lump in his throat, his voice quiet and shaky when he speaks again.

🍀 "Fuck, fuck I'm so sorry dove... don't cry, don't cry dove I'm sorry," he's speaking softly, hesitant to try and hug you because he saw the fear in your eyes and he's not sure you want him to come any closer now. "Please forgive me y/n I'm sorry, can I..." he trails off reaching for your hand, tugging you gently into his arms.

🍀Whatever you were fighting about it simultaneously ceases to matter to him and also becomes completely unsolvable...he's scared youre never going to look at him the same way again. He's supposed to be your man, your protector, the one person you can always trust and now he's let you down, he's scared you... he really resents himself for that, can't forgive himself for scaring you.

🍀"I'm sorry little dove," he'd whisper, his voice soothing, his breath brushing your cheek as he promises he won't shout like that again, "s'okay sweetpea, s'alright..." but he doesn't feel like its alright.

🍀 He'll hold you as snug as he can, but carefully too, treating you extra delicately, he's really hesitant to hug you too tightly or kiss you in case you're scared of him now.

🍀 "Don't be scared of my dove, you're breakin me heart," he says it with a teasing little smile, trying to get a giggle from you or something but you can hear the heartbreak in his voice and you know he's really telling the truth.

🍀 When you settle down a little you nuzzle into him, "Sorry Bon..." you sniffle trying to dry your eyes, caught out and speechless when he catches your hands in his and, strokes his thumbs over your palms. "What you sayin sorry for eh sweetpea? Am the one whose sayin sorry now..." he chuckles, holding your palm up to his lips and kissing your hands.

🍀 Even if you feel better quickly, soothed by Bonnie's sweetness, he won't feel better about it. The guilt will stick with him for a long time, one of those memories that comes back in the middle of the night and makes him cringe.

🍀 He's extra soft with you for the rest of the day and the morning after too, treating you like he's scared you're going to break. He speaks quietly and gently and he'll treat you with such tenderness, holding you at every opportunity, holding your hand even if you're just sitting together. Any excuse to kiss you or tell you he loves you.

🍀 Because he knows how upset you get when someone yells at you, if anyone else ever makes you cry by raising their voice at you Bonnie's fierce protective side will snap and he will be raring to defend you. You have had to talk him down from fights because of this.

Isaiah

🐀 He'll be so shocked when you start crying... he's seen you witness so much "worse" than shouting before... so he really wasn't expecting you to burst into tears when a drunk man at the bar raised his voice at you. He turns with a frown, brows tugged in in confusion as he blinks at you struggling to process the sight of you with tears streaking your face. He honestly didn't think anything could phase you...

🐀 For a second he's stunned but he soon snaps into action... "For fuck sake man now look what you've done!" He groans turning to the man behind your tears, "gone and made me girl cry ain't you... now I have to hurt ya..." he says with a cruel grin, as if he hadn't been intending on hurting the stupid cunt who'd been eyeing his girl up with lecherous eyes all evening anyway. "Don't get me wrong like... I wanted to anyway yeah, you've just given me a good excuse..."

🐀 Once he's satisfied he's fucked the stupid bastard up enough, he turns his attention back to you. He's not expecting to see you still crying, in fact he'd kind of been hoping he'd just imagined it, been hoping he was just going crazy like Arthur... but he isn't, and you are still crying.

🐀 And Isaiah isn't good with crying girls, doesn't know what to do about all those tears, feels totally at a loss.. especially because he's never seen you cry before.

🐀 will try to joke about it, not teasing you harshly, just making a little joke about how 'easily' scared it turns out you are... "You had me fooled mousy..."

🐀 This earns him a pretty firm slap from Ado who's jaw has just hit the floor... "Fuck sake dinlow whatre you doing making it bloody worse!" She'd be all arms crossed and shaking her head, muttering about how men these days are all the fucking stupid same.

🐀 but her slaps gotten through to Isaiah at least who is looking at you now with a somewhat more awkward smile, but he takes your hand and offers you a hug. This is the most stunted a conversation with Isaiah could possibly be and you're beginning to feel a whole different kind of anxious.

🐀 "Right for fuck sake, I've had enough of this.." Ada cuts in, "you.. give your girlfriend a fuckin hug alright," she'd say pointing at Isaiah and then pointing at you, "and you.. god sake girl get yourself a better fuckin boyfriend eh?"

🐀 "Alright Ada piss off yeah I've got her, she's alright now ain't you mousy..." Isaiah would groan, he's embarrassed by Ada pointing out his flaws but hes showing it as frustration instead. He will take her advice onboard however, he isn't that stupid.

🐀 He'll put his arm around your shoulder and squeeze you into his side steering you outside for a cigarette and some cool night air. He knows you'll be embarrassed about crying so he wants to take you somewhere quiet.

🐀 "Sorry for laughing at you doll you just took me by surprise... ain't like you is it... crying..." he'll say gently, he's sharing a cigarette with you, taking a drag or two and then placing it between your lips carefully. This is something he only does when he's trying to make you feel extra close and cosy with him.

🐀 He's quite curious about it, wants to understand why you cried, wants to know what it is about raised voices that you just can't deal with. And this curiosity isn't so that he can mock you, it's so that he can help you. He never wants to see you cry like that again so he wants to help you get over your fear...

🐀 He will offer you lots of reassurance, "you know I'm always here for you love, won't ever let anyone hurt you yeah... so even if someone does shout at you you ain't got nothin to be scared of yeah?"

🐀 He'll remind you that now you're with the Peaky Blinders you're always going to have someone near by to protect you. That men like "that cunt inside" will think twice about raising their voice at you...

🐀 Will hold your hand for the rest of the night, giving it reassuring squeezes at seemingly random moments. His affections will be subtle but constant all night and he'll make sure you feel safe.

🐀 If ever he shouts when you're nearby he'll remember himself quickly, apologising to you as soon as he can, making sure you're alright. If other Peaky lads chastise him for this he'll sock them round the back of the head no hesitations.

🐀 He's too easy going and because he doesn't want to shout at you, he avoids arguments like the plague, he'd rather just let most things slide until an issue absolutely has to be addressed because he's worried that if he gets swept into a row with you he won't be able to stop himself from losing his temper. He isn't sure yet whether this tactic is going to serve him well.

Michael

☘️ Its a heated argument, one which really give meaning to the phrase "blazing row." You and Michael are both furious with one another over a disagreement which has been stewing and bubbling away for weeks. One about Tommy Shelby and the unreasonable pressure he puts on his younger cousin.

☘️ When the row started it was because you wanted Michael to stand up to his cousin, you'd tried to encourage him to put his foot down, to start saying no every now and then when Tommy's demands crossed boundaries, but Michael didn't want to. he said you didn't understand the family, that you were sticking your nose into something which doesn't concern you.

☘️ And because you care so much about Michael you can't let go, won't back down. And because he cares about you and doesn't want you winding up in trouble Michael refuses to back down too. And thats how you end up screaming at one another in the middle of breakfast one morning.

☘️ He's so angry he doesn't notice that you aren't just shouting to match his fierce temper. He doesn't notice that you're trembling all over, that your cheeks are flushed and your eyes are wide and white - more like a deer in the headlights than a dragon.

☘️ The argument would peak with you unleashing all your fear and hurt, all your desperation into one shattering scream, "Leave me alone Michael for fuck sake leave me alone!" you shout over your shoulder when you go running off into the garden and he follows. HE doesn't listen however and it takes you picking a rock up and throwing it in his direction for him to get the message and let you go.

☘️ You run away for the rest of the day, go disappearing down the lane storming into the park up the street, finding a bench or a tree to sit beneath, hugging your knees to your chest and sobbing into your skirts.

☘️ Meanwhile at home Michael is pissed off, pacing, getting angry, damaging furniture as his temper gets the better of him. He's fuming, he can't get his head around why you ran away. Why you were so upset. . He thinks you behaved childishly and doesn't understand why you ran off like a little girl...

☘️ It takes you both a long time to calm down and when you do you really don't want to go back to the house, so you go to Polly's instead, you don't tell her about the row but you drink tea with her and wait for Michael to turn up. (Pol assures you he always comes to her when you've been fighting)

☘️ And when he does show up that evening he's been drinking whiskey and his mood is bitter and self pitying.

☘️ "Let me guess Michael my boy, you and y/n had a row... she got upset, she ran away, she..." "Came here," he smirks shaking his head with a small self deprecating smile, "hiya love..."

☘️ He won't apologise for shouting because you were shouting too, and because Michael never apologises for anything. But he will pour the two of you some tea and try to talk to you a little more softly than before.

☘️ "You worried me love, running away from me like that...gave me a scare..." "You were shouting at me," you shrug sullenly. He would be struggling not to let his temper flare again. "You were shouting at me too to be fair love... and anyway, you're not a little girl are you, you don't run away from someone just for shouting..."

☘️ You'd bristle, getting defensive, fresh tears glossing your eyes then, a painful lump in your throat when you realise he doesn't understand and maybe isn't going to.

☘️ "No," you say, voice catching in your throat, "but what kind of man likes screaming at his girl?" When you ask him that he won't be able to ignore the guilt he feels. He'll be struggling to swallow down the lump in his throat too and he'll reach for your hand across the table, brush his thumb over your knuckles as he looks you in the eyes, tries to find an unspoken equilibrium between the two of you. Something to two of you can hold onto despite your differences.

☘️ "Alright," he says finally, let's out a little sigh and squeezes your hand. "No more shouting eh how does that sound?"

☘️ When you nod your head, your smile forming slow but wide, he mirrors your warm expression and leans back in his chair, tugs your hand across the table so that you'll stand and come sit down in his lap.

☘️ "No more shouting it is then y/n," he says holding your waist in his hands, feeling closer to you at last, enjoying the comfort of your familiar shape beneath his hands. He'll point to his cheek then all, "come on love, give us a kiss eh? Forgive me?" and he'll wait until you do lean in to place a kiss on his cheek before he catches yours in his palm and steers your mouth towards his.

AN/ hope these were what you were hoping for lovely, I honestly am not sure I've done your request justice but I don't think I can write much more so sorry about that :/

Taglist:

@jomarch-wannabe @zablife @call-sign-shark @marwwfairy@toddlerbodybag@mollybegger-blog@inalovesrabbits-blog @elina-777@impossibleheartflower@liliac-dreamer@everysage@itsghostgirlyo

[melanieph321]

Since you’re open to writing for szoboszlai could you maybe right an angsty one where you’re fwb and find out you’re pregnant and when you tell him he freaks out at first and leaves for some alone time to think but eventually comes around

Lovely request! 😊

Dominik Szoboszlai x Reader - Positive

Enjoy!

"Pregnant?" Dominik frowned. "How can you be pregnant?"

You rolled your yes. "I don't know Dom, maybe we had somthing called sex?"

Dominik did not find your sarcasm amusing. He was neither amused that you showed up at his doorstep just as he was about to leave for training.

"How could this be possible?" He sighed, his body slumping down against the doorframe. It was a bit rude of him not to invite you in to his apartment.

"We didn't use protection the last time we...you know," You said awkwardly. "And I missed my period a few days ago. I went to get tested, and the results came back positive."

Dominik was silent for a moment, processing the information. You were having a baby together? It seemed like a distant possibility, but there was no denying the truth. But as reality set in, Dominik's expression turned from shock to panic. Perhaps he wasn't ready to be a father! Like you he was only twenty-three years old, a flourishing career ahead of him. Would he let a sloppy one night stand ruin that? Most people would argue that he had alot more to lose than you, a social media manager for the ever so addictive Red Bull energy drink.

"Y/N." Dominik shut the door behind him, adjusting the gym bag that hung over his shoulder. "I need some time to think. This is all too much for me right now."

You felt a lump form in your throat as you watched Dominik struggling to process the news. You knew this was a lot to take in, but you had hoped that he would be more supportive considering that you were both in the same boat. And It wasn't like you were complete strangers. You and Dominik had history, stretching back to when you were both based in Germany, Dominik playing for RB Leipzig and you doing jobs for their social media.

"I'll call you later okay?" He looked scared and overwhelmed, a desire to jump ship and flee.

"Okay," you said softly, trying to keep your emotions in check. "Take all the time you need." You nodded. But even as you spoke those words, you couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. Had you made a mistake by telling Dominik? Should you have given him more space? Were you truly ready to be a single mother? So many questions raced through your mind, leaving you feeling lost and uncertain about the future.

"I can't believe him." Your friend Sasha said.

It's where you were staying for the six months that Red Bull wanted you to do jobs for them in England. This whole situation was really her fault. If Sasha hadn't suggested that the two of you attend a sponsors event that her company was hosting, you would have never run into Dominik again and the two of you would never have hooked up. And it wasn't once that the two of you had spent night and day together. In fact, your relationship had gotten way past late night bootycalls. Perhaps that's why you were so suprised how off put he had been at the thought of knocking you up. Despite the life growing inside of you, life had to go on. You still had a job to do.

"Y/N, there is a call for you."

After spending and antire week in bed Sahsa woke you up one morning with your cellphone in her hand.

"Is it Dominik?"

"No. I think it's your boss."

"Oh."

How foolish of you to think that Dominik would ever call. The only word you had heard from him since you told him of your unexpected pregnancy was a text, saying:

"Need more time. Talk to you later."

"What did he want?" Sasha said, seeing you finally getting up and out of bed.

"There is a job in London that they want me to do."

You tied your hair in a gentle ponytail, marching towards the bathroom.

"What's in London?"  Sasha asked.

"I dunno, some charity event at a youth center that Red Bull is funding."

"Oh...can I come?"

"Do you like kids?"

She snorted. "No."

You smiled. "Then perhaps you should sit this one out."

As you arrived at the youth center, you couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement and anticipation. Red Bull frequently arranged a "Meet your Hero Day." Where the children of the youth center would be suprised by athletes artists and other inspirational personalities.

"Who is it, who's coming?" You asked one of the youth counselor, since you had no idea yourself.

"It will be the best Hero Day yet." The counselor said. He seemed equally as giddy and excited as the children. "Red Bull went all out this year. They got two Liverpool players coming."

"Which ones?" You asked, but in terror.

"Trent Alexander- Arnold and Dominik Szoboszlai."

"No." You groaned.

"Yes." The counselor grinned. He was obviously a big fan.

The children were already gathered in the hall, eagerly waiting for the arrival of their special guests. You did you job, setting up your camera and snapping away photos, capturing the energy and enthusiasm of the young ones. Soon Dominik and his teammate arrived, dressed in their signature football jerseys and a big smile on their faces. The children went wild, screaming and cheering as they walked into the room. You couldn't help but feel a pang of jealousy as you watched Dominik interact with the kids - he was so natural and effortless around them, while you felt like a bit of an outsider. As the day progressed however, your presence became known.

"Y/N, w...what are you doing here?" Dominik asked as you had walked up to him with your camera.

"My job." You said.

"I didn't know..."

"It was last minute." You shrugged, snapping another picture of Dominik and a kid that refused to let go of his leg.

"I've been meaning to call." He said.

"Sure you have."

You moved on to snap more photos of Dominik's teammate, who was very photogenic.

"Can you maybe do something with the ball, a trick?" You directed.

"Like this?"

Trent gave the ball a tap, sending it up into the air and catching it with his knee then foot as it came back down. He did so with ease, the children gawking impressed.

"Thanks. I think I got it." You smiled.

Scrolling through your camera you noted how many good images there were. The children all looked so happy. You found yourself getting more and more comfortable with the children. You played games with them, listened to their stories, and even joined in on some of their dance moves. It was then that you realized something - you wanted a child of your own. You glanced over at Dominik, who was currently juggling a ball with one of the kids. He wasn't sure if he was ready for fatherhood, and maybe that was his right. But what you did with your body, that was your right. But as you continued to watch Dominik interact with the children, you saw the way he lit up their faces with his presence, and the way they looked up to him with such admiration. Deep down you knew that he would be an amazing father, which made the decision you wanted to make even more difficult.

"I'm giving the child up for adoption"

As the day came to a close, you took Dominik aside and told him what you wanted. His eyes widened in surprise. "What? Why would you do that?"

You tooka deep breath, calming yourself down. "I know I might be a bit old school but abortion isn't an option for me."

Dominik searched your face then nodded agreeingly. "Me neither."

"And I...what?" You frowned.

"I don't want you to have an abortion. " He said.

You were lost for words and for a split second you contemplated punching him in the face. "Dominik." You sighed. "You've given me the cold shoulders for days, making me question ever fucking choice I've ever made in this life. You made me feel so shitty about myself these past few days and now all of the sudden you want me to have your baby?"

"I know and I'm sorry." He said. "But Y/N you must understand, growing up my parents had nothing. They struggled to take care of me and at the same time did everything for me to succeed in life. I made a promise to them and myself that my children would never have to go through what me and my family did. That when I grew up I'd be able to give them everything that they need. I really want to be with you Y/N, but I promise you I'll struggle trying to be a dad now.

"Well I'll struggle even more being a single mother, don't you think?"

You could see it in his eyes, the genius angst. But you were in this together, why was it so difficult for him to understand that?

He shook his head. "I won't leave you. I'll be there for the both of you. Everything you need, money, a house..."

"Dominik." You sighed. "I don't want your money. I want you. I need you."

His expression withered, looking a bit defeated. "But I'm not good enough..."

"You're good enough to me." You placed a hand on your flat stomach. "You're good enough for us."

Somthing changed in his expression, a newfound light. "I am?"

You nodded, tears streaming down your face. "Yes, you're everything we need, just the way you are."

He stepped forward his arms collecting you in his embrace. You sighed in relief.

"I'm gonna be a dad." He pulled you back, now a smile on his face.

"Yes, yes you are and I'm gonna be a mom."

You gasped as Dominik bent down, kissing your lips. Forgetting your surroundings, a group of children spotted you and giggled unremosrfully. Dominik turned to look at them than back at you. He returned your smile, knowing that this is what you wanted. You were both positive.

[nana-talks]

deep red

pairing: tfatws!bucky x fem!reader word count: 2k genre: angst & steam

notes: inspired by deep red by movements. gif by @unearthlydust. again, writing during work hours, so bear with me.

he can still taste her on his lips, feel the curve of her hips beneath his palms. he looks from his hands to his reflection starring back at him in the mirror. it’s been a few months and he continues to struggle to recognize his own face. his dark circles are there, albeit slightly faded. he has new wrinkles, one on each side of his mouth. smile lines?

and I can't tell if this is all a dream or if I'm really here

he’s trying to calm his beating heart, watching the water run down the drain until he can feel the rise and fall of his breath have evened out. he runs his fingers through his hair, pushing the dark locks away from his face before he opens the bathroom door.

and there she is, sitting cross-legged on top of the mattress, his t-shirt hanging loosely around her shoulders. she had her eyes closed, but faced the bathroom, as if she was waiting for him. he padded softly and quietly across the bedroom floor towards her. his job had allowed him to develop this skill very well, he thought to himself, self-depricatingly. right as he reached her, she opened her eyes.

“hey” she said softly. “you ok?”

“yeah” he responded. he wanted to touch her face, and despite the itching, he did. she nuzzled her cheek against his rough palm, letting her hair fall against her face. he pushed them away, feeling his heart pick up speed once again.

but as long as I can feel you, I don't really care

she reached up to his wrist, wrapping her hands around the vibranium, feeling the sensation of the cold material against her warm flushed skin. she felt herself blush beneath his hard stare. she wanted to tell him she loved him, but couldn’t bring herself to break the moment. she felt like he knew already.

“you hungry?” he asked, voice barely there.

“nope.” she shook her head from side to side. “would you mind if we laid here? just a bit longer?”

she hoped he wouldn’t feel embarrassed for getting up so soon after he finished. he tried, she could see - he stood still, his chest against hers, for almost 3 full minutes before he got up. he hoped she didn’t feel him shudder slightly at the question, fighting the urge to cringe from his actions from minutes ago. he just nodded, and she smiled, climbing upwards towards the pillows before he followed her.

and there they laid, as they usually did every single night, one right next to each other, just their hands intertwined. she kept her hold tight against his fingers. she knew he was getting better, but touch was still something he struggled with. she could only imagine having all your terrible memories attached to the feeling of hands and machines against your skin.

cold skin all the time / idle hands so you hold mine / you say it helps with keeping you together and you hold tight / i’m losing feeling in my fingers but i don’t mind

which is why she was surprised that evening when he knocked on her door and crashed his lips against hers, without even saying hello. she didn’t want him to stop, but she knew something must have happened. she tried asking if he was okay, but all he answered was “i need to feel something”. his taste, his fingers against her scalp, she couldn’t concentrate enough to respond. he pushed her up against the door, his roughness soft against her.

can we pretend like it's just you and me? / i wanna act like I can feel something

“i’m sorry” he whispered, and she finally opened her eyes, climbing out of her memories.

“for what?” she asked, frowning slightly

“for coming over like that…” he shrugged, hoping she’d understand. “for being rough.”

she couldn’t help but let out a scoff, pulling his vibranium fingers to rest against her lips. “you were pretty soft to me.” she said.

“yeah?” he wanted to believe her so bad.

“yeah…” she nodded. “i felt… wanted.” she struggled to not say loved, to not scare him off. “it was… hot.”

he blushed, and tried looking away from her, to hide the crimson on his cheeks, but her pull was too strong. if only she knew just how much he wanted her.

“but…” she said, moving her eyes to their intertwined hands. “i can’t help but think… what… what prompted all of that?” she blushed, growing warm and he could hear her heart beat running.

he couldn’t let her know that his latest amend hadn’t gone to plan. he barely mentioned it to dr. raynor last session, just hinting that things weren’t as easy as she had led on, in his usually sarcastic tone. it was embarrassing how fast he slipped back into someone he wasn’t proud to be. and the only place he felt real was underneath her steady gaze.

“i don’t know.” he shrugged. he felt her eyebrows slightly turn. she could read him like no other. she knew he wasn’t being truthful, knew he was ashamed of his past and whenever that was brought up, he’d deflect. and at some point, she understood that was something that would only come with time and was willing to just go from there. “i just wanted to be with you, i guess.”

she nodded. he was slowly starting to understand the concept of giving it all. it didn’t matter if they had finally had sex for the first time, it didn’t matter that he could feel her heartbeat on the palm of his hand as she came - nothing would feel as intimate as sharing his darkest memories and thoughts with her.

he sighed, closing his eyes, feeling her tight fingers around his. she was there, right there, as she had been this whole entire time. there had been nothing he had shared so far that had made her run - not his reasoning behind the amends, not his memories from war, not even why he was always so hesitant to touch her or be touched by her.

not only had she never run, but she had always been willing to surrender herself entirely to him, even when he couldn't keep up with her to the same extent.

and you don't have to give it back to me / ‘cause I can't promise much of anything

“yori was my amend this week.” he whispered, squeezing his eyes, feeling his shoulders tense up. she gripped his fingers tighter, fighting the “oh” that was on the back of her throat. “i feel embarrassed that i befriended him when he was an amend all along, but i couldn’t bring myself to say the words! did you know he had an entire altar for his son? i- i did that.”

“but you’re no longer the winter soldier.” she said. “he did that. not you.”

the slowly growing itch he felt just took over; he couldn’t take it any longer. feeling claustrophobic, he shot up from the bed, fighting the urge to just run away. he leaned against the window, watching the bright city lights slip through the curtains. he was trying to slow down his breathing but all he could listen is yori’s whispered “why” and his meek “i didn’t have a choice”. what a fucking cop-out, he thought, running his fingers angrily through his hair.

before his hands could find their way across his own cheeks, she was there, beside him. she wrapped her arms around his waist, ducking underneath his arms to stand between him and the cold glass. she looked up at him and he was expecting a look of pity, but all he could see was… was that love?

“thank you. for trusting me and sharing that.” she said, kissing his sternum before resting her chin against him. he sees the shine in her eyes, tries to see himself in their reflection. he might really no longer be the winter soldier if he’s someone she’s willing to love.

his skin is tingling, like he’s about to itch again, but he won’t let that drive him away this time. so he tucked his fingers on the nape of her neck, intertwining with her hair, before pulling her against his mouth.

his breath faltered when their tongues touched again. he could recall, somewhat now, how hard he had let himself fall when he first felt her like this that evening. the way he had shoved her against her door, the way he couldn't contain his hands from traveling up and down her body. he was scared of letting that happen again, of losing control, so he stepped back, brushing his lips against her cheeks before hiding on the crook of her neck.

she pushed her hands against his waist, towards the bed, not allowing him to slow down to a stop. he jokingly let go of his body weight, falling forward towards her and she giggled, before shoving him backwards a bit harder. as he sat back on the mattress, he finally looked at her - her bruised lips, her flushed cheeks, her tangled hair and her starry eyes. he pulled her in between his thighs and she caressed his cheeks lovingly, before kissing his temples, his eyelids, his cheekbones, his nose and his lips.

the feather light touch of her fingertips against his stubble, the feeling of his hands wrapping around her waist, their tastes. he held tight against her frame as he slowly twisted and dipped her against the bed, her head hitting the pillow softly.

dive into you / (and open the blinds)

he tried hovering above her, but slowly, she spread her legs and pulled him in between them, brushing over him and moaning gently against his lips. she felt him holding back, but the more they kissed, the more the sounds he made hinted he’d started letting go.

take all of me / (you become my guide)

he still felt the prickling trail against his skin, following wherever she touched. he still could hear the faint sound of feels wrong on the back of his mind. he pulled back, searching for her eyes, to see himself in their reflection.

make me brand new / (to live through your eyes)

there she was beneath him, in between his extended arms. and this time that look of love was undeniable. he couldn’t look away and she held him steady. it was like the words were at the tip of his tongue. she smiled, reaching up to run her fingers over the contours of his face, memorizing every detail she could.

“i wish you could see what i see.” she whispered.

“it’s okay... i think my view is pretty sweet.” he said in between her fingers that ran over his lips. she would have rolled her eyes at his compliment, but he crashed his lips against hers once more.

for someone that was struggling so hard to let go of his fears and his ghosts, he kissed like that was all nothing, he touched her like his hands were made to please her body, he fit inside her like that was his purpose all along. and she knew that to be true because he made her see stars like nobody else before (and like nobody else would after).

and bucky still didn’t know then, but the next time she touched him, it would be to check if he was really sound asleep. but he’d lay there, with her on his chest, breathing heavily. and there would be no sting, or prick, or itch - not again for a long time.

so I can finally sleep / (deep red at the sunrise)

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.4

It's in the paper that Allen Klein was involved in 40+ lawsuits and John doesn't question it? At this point, I feel like he just didn't want to let Paul be right about anything. 

My question is who did that work on before? I mean who fucking does business like that? Let alone business with the most successful man in the world. 

John's complaining about Paul being too good at his job is both hilarious (what the hell is Paul supposed to do with that) and sad (it shows just how far their musical relationship has degraded from partners to rivals)

How did they lose Northern Songs? Genuinely, if anyone can break it down for me I'd be so grateful. Anyway I'm sure it was devastating for both of them. “Who'd have the children?” “Dick James”. 

I know I'm insane, but can I be allowed to see a glimmer of goodness here? I really do think it's John's kinder side winning out when he decides not to lie. Like, yes, he gets a buzz off of watching Paul go white at his words, but I think he also just – in that moment – didn't have the heart to trick Paul into staying. 

But also. Why are we trying to maneuver Paul at all if the end game is for John to leave? It just doesn't make sense to try to trick Paul into signing the contract unless John's divorce threat is at the very least not meant to be final. 

I will never understand this picture. Even in the emotional state he's in, he's still hamming it up? There is something seriously wrong with this man. 

I do find it interesting that the fact that Paul cried his eyes out after that meeting isn't even mentioned in the doc. I wonder why. 

Let's put the bizarre, super-warped timeline in this quote aside for a minute. Apparently the depression started after Brian died and it lasted for about two years and John was still in it during Pepper. Okay. That aside . . .

I have to assume this negative lense on what I can only assume means the period between 66 and 68 is highly influenced by hindsight bias. I agree that John was depressed at the time, in an unhappy marriage, doing too much LSD, etc and that looking at Paul's prolific talent and expansive , fast-paced life would have been maddening. But everyone go back to the end of part one really quick. He looks extremely happy. He sounds extremely happy. Everyone who knows him says he's never been happier. I think he just can't accept right now that there was so much good and he's lost it. 

“I look from the wings at the play you are staging . . . I don't know why nobody told you how to unfold your love.”

Insanity quote Hall of Fame. Paul explaining why the Beatles just had to break up, obviously, because he and John "didn't marry the same girl." Someone write the fic where John and Paul both marry the same girl. Could be Yoko or Linda. Sister trad wives au. 

Okay, cool, so this means I have full permission to interpret and tin hat about any lyrics I want then, right?

But also. Are we just not going to talk about the fact that Paul dumped a bucket of garbage water and punched this person? And are we not mentioning the depression and alcoholism and heroin abuse during this time?

It's so embarrassing how he looks to her for confirmation here. John, they asked you what you think. Just you. Not some complicated definition. Not Yoko's definition. Just your own thoughts.

“I couldn't wait for them to make up their mind about peace or whatever. About committing themselves.” Yeah, John. You sound real committed to peace. Or whatever. Here's a theory that anyone can shoot down if they want: John asked Paul for some kind of commitment (a friendship wedding, a partnership contract, a mutual wanking pledge) in India and Paul was a chicken about it. 

What was that day like, I wonder? I imagine extremely stiff and professional and horrid. But who knows. Maybe it was nice, and maybe that made everything worse.

I will go to my death believing that instant karma was for Paul. 

Do we think John actually did send Paul “about twenty postcards from Denmark” all covered in hearts none of which Paul responded to? Paul could be just as cruel in his lack of reaction as John was in his over reaction.

I'm sorry but that is not what a man says when he's just lying to the press to buy time for business. That's what a man says to the press when he's trying desperately to communicate with someone who he can't get through to any other way. 

But really, I just don't understand why the creator chose to minimize Paul's emotional response to John's divorce statement. If we don't see him bawling his eyes out and losing the will to live, he comes off like a self-assured, uncaring, jerk. Which. To be fair. John didn't see those things, and that is exactly what John thought of Paul during this time. But still. The audience now comes away from this doc with a skewed view. 

All we get is Paul being pissed off about Phil Spector butchering Let it Be without his consent and John and George trying to change McCartney's release date without his consent. Which are both a) understandable and b) strong, male, angry reactions. Making this section portray Paul in the same one-dimensional hyper-masculine way that John so often is. Which isn't my favorite. But hey, it's my only complaint about this doc so far.

Anyway, update: I won't be able to do part three until it gets reuploaded, so we're on hiatus for this project for the time being.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

okay so lately I have seen a lot of people claim they hate mammon bc he steals from mc, and like there's nothing wrong with disliking a character lol but I don't recall mammon ever stealing from mc?? like the only thing I can think of is that one time in season 1 I think where he was going through their stuff and said he was looking for something to sell (I think?? it's been a while) and beel straight up calling him a liar lmao l'm just wondered if I missed something? or if this is just newer players who maybe misunderstood that one scene? and I figured if anyone would know it would be you lmao

I got so fucking pissed about this (not at you anon <3) cos this is the third time I got an ask like this, that I scrolled all the way down my 'Obey Me Mammon' tag to June/July 2020 and then slowly scrolled my way up pulling all the receipts I could.....I saw this immediately after you sent it and I just finished now...... turns out it takes 5 straight hours to go through my Mammon tag😶

I have answered this exact same ask twice before and I can only assume it's new people? Like honestly you can't play the game for a long time and still think this (they prove this false within the game in LESSON FOUR)

Not only does Mammon NOT steal from MC, he also:

a.) Gets legitimate/legal jobs whenever he wants to buy MC something (which is pretty frequently)

b.) Shares the money with them when he comes into a large sum of money

But anyway here are the links to the posts talking about all this:

(everything is directly taken from canon or based off canon)

A.) No he doesn't steal from MC

• Full Summary of the Lesson 4 locked chapter where he goes through MC's stuff and a compare and contrast of what we know about Mammon from future lessons, events, devilgrams

• First post talking about this, goes more into detail about him not stealing from them

• Second shorter post about how he doesn't steal from them

• They're literally Partners in Crime

• He straight up refuses the Midas touch (multiple times I believe) after realising it means he won't be able to touch MC anymore

• HEADCANON that maybe he steals/borrows their clothes, with their knowledge, to wear

• In the small introductory manga page they say the thing he likes as much as money is MC

• In S3 he admits to loving MC more than he loves money

B.) He goes out of his way to get MC Presents (which we works actual jobs to earn money for)

• Mammon at the Office Devilgram, where he gets an actual office job so he can buy MC a watch he saw them looking at

• In the Movie Date Devilgram he rents out an entire theatre for the two of them because it was the anniversary of the day they first met

• In the You Always Ride Shotgun Devilgram he rents out a pool for the two of them

• He's always giving MC presents

• Usually he buys matching things for them

• He buys them shoes in their favourite colour

• Mammon's love language

• He wants to share his winnings from a lottery with MC

• He finds a secret second map in the pirate au event and tells only MC so they can share the treasure

C.) It's not just MC, he puts the others before Money too

• In the Presents From Mammon Devilgram he buys presents for everyone

• In The Guardian Demon Devilgram he saves a 9yr old orphaned homeless human girl from a mugger, fosters her and plans to pay for all her needs until she's an adult/can provide for herself - which is why he's always in debt to the three witches who look after her for him, there's also extortion going on from them towards him

• He'd rather lose the entire fortune he won than make Luke upset

• List of times he's put others before money

• He straight up tells Luke he doesn't mind missing out on a reward as long as it means Luke is alright

• Socks for Beel

• He gets a stone for his birthday which can give him whatever he wishes for, he wishes for fortune to come to whoever has the stone and then gives the stone to a student who tried to hurt him

D.) How Mammon works as a character

• Solmare makes you form certain expectations about him and then starts breaking them within the next few lessons and it's amazing to witness

• Friendship, Actions & Reality Vs Calling MC 'Servant'

• Mammon, MC and their Friendship

• Mammon being smart and why he comes off as an idiot

• His thoughts about himself vs MC

• He's actively changing and growing as a character and he knows it

• How Mammon actually views himself

• Why there's a difference in his level of affection in public vs privately

• Jerk with a heart of gold trope but better

• Mammon and how much he cares about consent

• How outsiders see Mammon vs how people from the city see Mammon vs how his close friends and family see him

• Chasing some creep away from MC

• How his relationship with MC changes and grows throughout the season

E.) Other reasons to love him

• Examples of how much he loves MC

• How supportive he & MC are of each other

• Some of his funniest moments

• He's objectively terrifying

• Mammon being a good brother

• He's extremely ride or die for MC

• He waits for MC when they've got to stay late at RAD for other work

• Despite being an ancient being all his best memories consist of the time he's spent with MC

• He created a whole line of toys based around missing MC

• Everything he says about loving MC in his 2022 birthday event

• List of things he's good at

• The amount he loves MC

And this is just a few of my posts about mammon, his character and what there's to love about him

And look it's MORE than okay for people to dislike a character but at least dislike them for something that actually happened?

[lurkingshan]

Japanese QL Corner

ICYMI: There are so many Japanese qls airing weekly, so I’m going to start posting this little round up at the end of each week. Most of these shows are on Gaga and I highly recommend watching!

Tsukuritai Onna to Tabetai Onna 2

Another great batch of episodes this week, as Kasuga and Nomoto settled into dating life, all the gals got together for various food related events, and Nagumo began seeking treatment for her eating disorder. This show is just always so compassionate with its characters, and manages to find interesting conflicts without going for high drama. I am very much enjoying seeing Kasuga and Nomoto figure out how their relationship should look now that they're dating and also how to communicate and respect each other as they make decisions. Kasuga's tendency to let Nomoto steamroll her feels harmless when it's about picking fruit or vegetables, but it won't be when it comes to making decisions about where they live and how to set up their home, so it's great they're addressing it early. It's also awesome to see them expand their circle of friends and deepen their bonds with Yako and Nagumo--I was high key jealous of the curry and s'mores parties. And Nagumo just has my whole heart. When she expressed profound relief at learning there is a name for her illness and ways to treat it, my mind immediately jumped to Rachel Bloom. Looking forward to her healing. I can't believe there is only one more batch of episodes coming, love and gratitude to @furritsubs!

Chaser Game W

I’ll keep this brief. This show was a mess, and not even in a fun way because unfortunately it was also extremely misogynistic. @twig-tea covered the major issues well in her post. Wild that this show aired simultaneously with TsukuTabe, what a dichotomy.

My Strawberry Film

This one is really not grabbing me. It feels kind of slow and muted and uncertain about what it's doing. I am not finding the mystery or the love rhombus compelling, and this week's focus on Hikaru's infatuation with Minami had me yawning and picking up my phone a lot. But it's early, I am hopeful it will pick up some steam.

Sukiyanen Kedo Do Yaro ka

This was a cute episode about Sakae and Soga getting past their initial awkwardness, learning how to communicate with each other, and moving into a more intimate phase of their relationship, and I think I would have loved it if we'd gotten it two weeks ago. This should have been the episode that followed their initial confessions, but instead the show did a two week diversion into love triangle nonsense, and unfortunately, I think it really threw off the pacing and the connection to these characters for me. It just feels too late in the show for this relationship to still feel so new. We haven't had time to settle in with them as a couple, or for them to develop a strong foundation to make us root for them to overcome the coming obstacles in the final arc. Still, this episode had some delightful scenes--Soga finally paying a visit to the sauna was my personal fav, and I also enjoyed the metaphor of Sakae literally catching Soga's love (and knowing @bengiyo would lose it over another important SPORTS moment in bl). This is a show I really want to love, but something just isn't connecting.

Perfect Propose

I love this final episode and I love this show. Hiro quit his job, Kai resolved things with the shop owner and his son, and they finally got on the same page about their relationship and made out about it. 10/10 no notes for this finale. It was lovely to see Hiro finish his project and make a decision to quit the daily grind--I loved, too, that he is still in touch with his former colleagues--and we saw the change in him so quickly. He looked happier, lighter, brighter. His skin was cleared and his crops were watered! And Kai got to have his moment of catharsis too, sharing his fear that he is a burden on others and having Hiro affirm for him that he wants him in his life and he's a help, not a burden. And I loved that we got all that plus a great kiss, a bed scene (with a very cute leg cramp diversion) and a small peek at their new domestic life together. This show makes me happy and it will definitely be one I return to for rewatches.

Ossan's Love Returns

I'm of two minds on this finale. On the one hand, I really loved it as a single episode of the show, was happy with where all the resolutions landed, and was left with a very warm feeling toward the show overall. The cherry blossom scene especially really got me right in the feels; I've loved the progression of Maki and Haruta's relationship this season and I love the way they talk to each other. They have earned themselves a spot on my list of favorite drama couples who I actually believe are going to stay together. I also loved everything about the big chaotic group scene and all these characters coming together to pour love on Haruta; it felt earned after a season of him knocking himself out for all his loved ones. The end joke with Chief moving in next door, and getting a final Maki/Kurosawa battle, was *chef's kiss*. And Takegawa's perfect life partner being a cat? 10/10 no notes. I will be clutching my aroace Takegawa read tightly to my bosom.

On the other hand, the episode reinforced for me that the way we got to a lot of these resolutions didn't feel quite right. In particular, I don't think the way Kurosawa's health scare played out across the back half of the season worked, and I'm not too pleased about spending three episodes in a downbeat, tragic mode for the sake of a simple pun joke. I think the whole plot would have landed a lot better for me if the audience was let in on Kurosawa's mistake at the start and the tone of his overwrought goodbyes was farcical all the way through. Not only would that have maintained the comedic tone of the show, but we could have used that story time to better seed some of the themes of this episode with Haruta's crisis of confidence and yearning for family. I'm pretty much agnostic on Kiku and Izumi; they never sold me on that pairing but I wasn't mad about their ending.

Overall, I am very glad I jumped into this show and enjoyed the watch experience a lot, despite my quibbles with some of the overarching writing choices. The cast is amazing and all the characters make me smile. If they make another season, I'll be watching!

Bonus: Josi teki Saikatsu

I finally watched this drama this week--I held out for awhile hoping to find it in better quality, but no dice, it's 480p in the grey--and despite the potato lens I loved it so much. This is the story of Miki, a transfemme lesbian, just trying to live her life in the way she wants, and all the barriers she comes up against in that pursuit. Our story begins when her childhood friend, Goto, comes looking for his old pal in a moment of desperation and is stunned to see how she's changed. The show is only four short episodes, but they manage to paint a full picture of Miki's life at home, at work, with friends and lovers, and with her estranged family, and show us how she became who she is. Miki is whip smart and perceptive and generous, but also wary of trusting anyone after she's been let down by so many loved ones. I love her so much, and you will too. This story was written by a trans woman and it shows! Brave the 480p and check it out.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - It's weird where I am right now, Okay?

Organized, in each category, by ones I'm enjoying most at the top. However, I've put quite a few on hold for travel reasons.

Oct 2023 Wk 4

Only a few screen shots for you this week, my hotel wifi is actually THAT bad.

Ongoing Series - Thai

My Dear Gangster Oppa (Thurs iQIYI) 1 of 8 - Classic unlucky in love failed crush on straight bestie = both v queer and v emo yaoi. I gotta say I like these actors way better in this than their previous series, and maybe that’s because Tew is more like Tul and I just like Meen better when he’s… erm… mean. All of which is to say, this is off to a wonderful start and I am about to lose my very sleep deprived little mind... ready for a ABL ecstasy rant?

I LOVE THIS SO MUCH I CAN'T EVEN.

"I play support because that way everyone is happy to see me show up," might be the single best moment of characterization BL has EVER seen.

Look here, in the grand cornucopia of BL universes this is my metaverse. It's pulp... but relatively high production. It has an established pair that I know I like... but who were given crap before. It's a tidy little script, it's not gonna run too long, and it's ALL the archetypes and tropes I love but rarely see. It's Japan's style otaku plus Korea's style gangster, Thailand's style friendship group, and it arrived out of NOWHERE. It's Korea's IP & money, Thailand's talent, and China's streaming service.

Do we know what the hell is going on?

No we do not.

Do we care when it's this much fun?

No we do not.

(In this I speak for everyone... no, EVERYONE.)

This show I why I got into BL.

Don't bother me with trifles. Me and My Dear Gangster Oppa are sailing off into the infinite pixilated sunset together, thank you very much.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 11 of 12 - I managed to watch most of it on low rez before YT "discovered" I was in Asia and therefore could not be allowed to watch Asian shows. (AKA my VPN failed me.) But it seemed like a good ep.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Lucky Love ep 10 of 24 - I enjoyed this 2 part installment, it’s a bit of a sad sack recovery SAGA, but the acting is genuine, the couple believable, and the story felt particularly queer to me. 7/10 but close to an 8. It was really quite charming.

However: Next week looks not good on many levels - it's horror and I spotted guitar. Which is even more horrific. 

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) ep 5 of 12 - do temporal paradoxes exist in Thailand? That is the question. I gotta say Tor (Ongsa) is carrying this show and is doing a really great job, it's just the story itself doesn't resonate with me. Ugh it's so sad.

Is it, indeed, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

We only on ep 5 and had a full story arc already, there is A LOT more to go.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 9 of 10 eps - the fact that in losing Sky Venus also lost his surrogate family explains his resulting bitterness a little bit more. I wish we had gotten this back story much earlier. Still stupid pulp made me cry, which of course means it's back in my good books. This story is slow as fuck, but I'm going on a rollercoaster with it.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kiseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 11 of 13(?) - I love them, okay? All of them. This is a great sappy classic Taiwanese BL and it is my baby and you can’t take it away from me. MINE. 

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Viki) eps 8 of 10 - oh noes it got sad, I thought they would at least would have had drunken sex before the drama. Sigh. Still the kissing was good, as it should be from Taiwan.

If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) ep 4 of 5 - Amane is so brave. About being gay. Being out. Confessing. Its admirable if scary. Otherwise this ep was pretty slow. 

Bump Up Business (Korea Gaga) 3-4 of 8 - how do I feel about this show? Conflicted. Are OnlyOneOf doing a great job? Yes, actually. Am I enjoying it? No, not really. Is this anyone's fault? I don't think so.

The little linguistic negotiation was cute tho. And we seem to have gotten idols kissing in a BL both in the same group, so that glass ceiling dildo has finally been broken.

NineMill are unexpectedly good, also KB plays a great evil ex. Of the 3, I think only Nine is good enough to go into acting permanently (but he's not tall enough). Still, all hail OnlyOneOf... kings of the "gay concept." You boys make me v nervous but as couple-branding goes, you just out branded Thailand. Mad props baibies. Legit never thought I'd see the day.

Trust Korea to be in it to win it.

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 6 of ? - i pretty much just forgot to watch this.

It's Airing But...

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 8 of 12 - I will try to watch and do a series review in November but... not sure I will be able to. Fingers crossed.

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 8fin - completed but I couldn't catch the last ep, my final thoughts in Nov.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 12 fin - completed, but see afore mentioned YT issues. I'll review it in Nov. I anticipate better internet soon.

What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Fri Gaga) ep 1 of 10 - I find this series more fun to binge, so I'm waiting until it completes its run.

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - in classic JBL fashion, I Cannot Reach You could not be reached. 

Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

One Room Angel (Japan Gaga) - adaptation of Harada’s manga of the same name (which I did not like) about a convenience store clerk who's stabbed, nearly dies, and returns home to find an angel waiting for him. With only 5 eps and a good chance this won’t end happy, I'm gonna wait and let you tell me how it goes.

Next Week Looks Like This

Upcoming October BL

10/31 SHADOW (Thai Gaga) 1 of 14 - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

Upcoming November BL

11/3 Twins the series (Thailand ????) 1 of 10

11/17 Pit Babe (Thai) - Pavel my love!

11/19 Bake Me Please (OhmFluke but not, Thailand)

11/22 7 Days Before Valentine (Thailand) - horroresk

11/25 The Sign (Thailand) - horroresk

11/30 For Him the series (Thailand) - high heat

VIP Only (Taiwan) - may be delayed/canceled

Cooking Crush (OffGun, Thailand) - may be delayed, there some kinda gossip/rumor/shade happening at GMMTV

Wuju Bakery AKA Space Bakery (Korea) - this one may be DOA

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

My Universe - I just enjoyed the angle of this kiss shot.

Uh huh. Sure, honey. (Bump Up Buisness)

COULD THIS EXPLAIN THE SNUFFLE KISS?!!!!

(Last week)

[0nlythrowharrybeaux]

7 Smut.

WARNINGS: Subbry, mommy!kink, fem dom, humiliation/degradation, binding, CBT, overstimulation, orgasm torture, ruined/forced orgasms, anal play, hand job

Harry was sure he couldn't handle this for another minute. His abs were tense as you stroked his cock quickly. His hands were tied behind his back and he was just squeezing his fists as he fought off the feeling of his orgasm. When he chanced a glance up at you, you were already smirking down at him and he started to shake his head, he knew something was coming...

"Please! Please I can't take any more!" he whined. He was saying a lot of things like this for the past 15 minutes, but he had a safe word he could use if he actually wanted you to stop. But sometimes he just needed to allow himself to believe that he was stuck and had no other option but to just take it. His eyes squeezed shut and his jaw dropped open as the prostate vibrator inside of him switched to a pulsing tempo. You watched in delight as his legs, also bound to the chair he was in, started to quake. He moaned helplessly as you started to stroke his cock in time with the pulses of the vibrator. "Fuck mommy, please! Please, please, please..." he whimpered. The cock ring he had on felt so incredibly tight now and the even the way you had bound up his balls had him losing his mind. So constricted and the longer he went without coming the more swollen and achey they felt. It hurt so good - he felt hot and tingly and absolutely tortured.

"Please what hmm?" you asked.

"I need to come. Please let me come, mommy."

"But you're playing along so well today, my handsome boy." you hummed as you suddenly released his cock from your slippery grip and his body relaxed after a few seconds with a pitiful sigh. You could see that he needed to come so fucking bad; his cock was so fucking hard and ruddy. It was standing straight up and shiny from the lube on your hand, but his tip was steadily oozing out pre-cum. You grinned as you started reaching down to take him into your hand again and it twitched dramatically all on its own. Harry pouted as you laughed softly at him.

"Mommy, please...it hurts." he moaned lowly.

"It hurts right here?" you asked him and tenderly squeezed his balls and he groaned and nodded. You could see him trying to close his legs, but each one was bound to a leg of the chair. You started to squeeze a bit harder and he whined out at the tenderness. He hadn't come in a week and well now that he was finally having the opportunity you were extending his edging challenge. He panted wen you finally released the strong grip over his balls. You ran your thumb along the top half of his erection to collect a stray drop of pre-come that was slowly dripping down the length of his cock and you smiled, "Love it when you get yourself this wet. Such a good boy for me." you praised him and he sighed breathily as you pulled your index finger from his shaft and he watched you sink it into your mouth and suck it clean of his arousal.

Harry had to squeeze his eyes shut because watching you clean your finger in your mouth was making him think about you sucking him off. And in the condition he was in, he swore he could feel the teasing and gentle laps of your tongue right against his slit, sucking and licking up his pre-come every time more bubbled up from the tip. And your mouth was always to hot and soft, you took his big cock all the way, every time. Fuck, it made him tense up as he imagined how it felt when you'd gag around him. He moaned lowly and started to grind down onto the vibrator inside of him and it slipped just a little deeper and it pulsed hard against a spot that had his eyes crossing and his entire body tingling, he let out the most pitiful moans you'd ever heard, just watching him do anything he could to get off.

"Oh my..." you hummed smugly as you watched the beads of his pre-come pooling right up against his tip become more and more milky. He was coming just like this without your help and it was incredible to watch. You looked into his eyes and reached forward and just before you wrapped your hand around his cock you smirked, "Never mind, clearly you've got this covered. No need for me." you said smugly and he looked at you with desperate eyes as he groaned in frustration and pouted.

"Mommy, please help me come. I need you." he sighed shakily as he pulled on his restraints. "Fuuuuuck!" he shouted as he tossed his head back in frustration and you watched on in amusement.

You reached over to your phone on the bed and instead just tapped at the screen in a rhythm a few times before the phone recorded that rhythm and seconds later Harry's back arched as the toy vibrated just how you wanted against his prostrate until his entire body was quaking. You then wrapped your hand around his cock and started to give it long and consistent strokes. "Thank you, mommy. Thank you so much, don't stop. Thank you so much!" he panted in exhaustion. You loved to hear him thanking you and moaning in pleasure over and over and over again.

"Oh fuck, I'm coming!" he mewled and as soon as you saw his sperm collecting at his messy little slit you pulled your hand away, but despite you pulling away his cock started to twitch and pulse wildly as his come spurted out of him in thick, milky ropes, making a mess of his sweaty chest and abs. He groaned in frustration as his orgasm continued without any friction, but he kept coming regardless. It was such an empty and dissatisfying feeling for him he literally felt tears forming at his waterline. He was trying to thrust his hips, seeing your hand just out of reach. He couldn't help it as he yelled in frustration and you just giggled as you watched him suffering from his ruined orgasm. When he started to calm and his head fell forward you reached over to your phone and put the vibrator on the lowest setting, just enough to keep him leaking and as hard as he was now for you. You still needed to make him come, he did this all on his own.

"Don't cry, pretty boy." you cooed as you lifted his face up to see yours and he was gone. His eyes tearful and glazed over, forehead sweaty with a couple strands of hair sticking to it and you brushed them back. "Got more for, mommy?" you asked him and he just whined and shook his head in exhaustion and you smiled and tutted, "Well that's too bad, because I still need to make you come, so you better get busy and make me some more of this." you said as your other hand collected his sperm from his chest.

"Mommy-"

"You didn't have permission to come, my sweet boy." you reminded and he pouted.

"I couldn't help it." he explained softly and you smiled.

"I know, but you disobeyed, baby."

"M'sorry, mommy."

"I know you are, but you still need to be punished." you said and he pouted and huffed but that soon faded when you wrapped your left hand around his cock, right under the head and then your right hand came over and you just started to rub over his tip in circles. Smearing his cum all over him using it as another form of lubricant.

"Oh fuck!" he cried out at the sensitivity of you just solely focusing on his tip like that. His body tensed up and he started inhaling sharply, groaning and straining against his restraints because it was just too much. He was too sensitive. Then your left hand started stroking him and his abs started to tighten up again and you smiled.

"Fuck, such a good boy with a beautiful, big cock. Gonna give mommy, more of your tasty come?" you asked and he nodded. "Good boy, whenever you're ready, OK?"

"Yes, mommy. Oh yes, yes, yes, fuuuuuck!" he whimpered and slurred curses together as his orgasm kept building forcibly. He was trying so, so hard to get there and after another minute or so he slightly raised his hips and the first stream of it started to trickle down your fist. He was moaning loudly and uncontrollably, his body trembling from how sensitive and tense he was. "Thank you, thank you thank you!" he slurred and moaned over and over as he came undone.

"Yes, you're so welcome, my pretty boy. You're so good for me, baby. Fuck, still got so much more for me. Mmmm, keep going." you encouraged him sweetly as you milked him gently of all of the sperm he had left for now. You kept going and he kept coming until it wasn't as milky anymore. So you gave him a few more languid strokes before you released him gently, "Open up for me." you hummed, "Good boy, clean your mess." you said and he eagerly licked his cum from your fist, "Good boy. Played so well today."

"Thank you, mommy." he hummed and you kissed his lips quickly.

"Of course. Gonna get you untied and in a nice bath, how's that sound?" you asked and he nodded. "Perfect. Did so good for me. I'm so proud of you." you praised him again and kissed his cheek, "So good, my pretty boy."

[nsyncat]

OK, so this is my first post EVER since I joined Tumblr like ten years ago. Always been a lurker, enjoying all of the wonderful things here, the gifs, fics, ships, art, all the knowledge and all the amazing heritage posts, but never posting and hardly reblogging, I don't know why, was always afraid I would make a mistake or reblogg incorrectly...

Anyway, the reason this is my first time posting is because THAT amazing moment that happened a week ago, and I've been losing my mind ever since, and unfortunately I have nobody to share this excitement with that will understand... So I had to get it out somehow, and here seems like the perfect place to do so.

I don't know if anybody will read this or pay it any attention, but never mind, I just have TO. GET. IT ALL. OUT!

So I've been a loyal fan of 9-1-1 this past six years, got hooked to these kind of first responders dramas, also Station 19 and then of course Lone Star. I fell in love with the writing, the drama and action, the characters of course, the emotional and moving stories, both of the regular cast and the people in the emergencies (am not afraid to admit that I cried more than a few times, especially when I was pregnant... woooh, that was a tough season for me).

Anyway, like everyone else, got invested in Buck's storyline and of course hopped on the Buddie train in season 2. And obviously there was something between them, and the fandom always clowned themselves that "in the next season SOMETHING is going to happen!" and I always wanted to believe it, and also fooled myself a few times but always was the cold harsh realist and realised it was not going to happen... But enjoyed the ride nonetheless, read amazing fics, saw wonderful fanart, read interesting breakdowns and analysis.

And then 704 happened and I'm not joking or exaggerating, my life changed!

Confirming that Buck is Bi was amazing! I'm ashamed to admit that I really thought it won't happen, EVER! So I still can't believe it actually happened (thank you soooo much ABC!) and like a lot of you, I've been on cloud nine this past week and can't wait for tomorrows episode (also not from the US), literally counting down the hours.

And look, I love Buddie, I really do, but I fell in love with TEVAN (my favourite one yet) 😍 and been OBSESSED with them this past week. Just from those few moments between them and what we barely know that is going to happen the next episode, I truly fell in love with them and really hope they make it as far as they can. I think its an amazing thing for Buck and also CANT. STOP. WATCHING THE KISS! The actors did an incredible job, especially Oliver, also with his spoken support of the storyline and his love for Buck. Such a KING! So this whole thing is huge.

And I have a one-year-old, my life is hectic with taking care of a little human being, a hubby who is also very busy, work, family and a million other things and this past year with a heavy heart I kinda neglected reading fics, and it was my main hobby, my escape, my one and constant thing in my LIFE since I was 12. I do read here and there, but not like I used to, reading hours and hours and into the night, multi chapters and long oneshots, in multiple fandoms, and now whenever I do get to read something once In a blue moon I'm not fully invested or enjoying it because either I'm tired or have something else more important to do. And unfortunately, eventually I noticed that I lost this fire, the passion in me and it left me sad and heartbroken...

And then something incredible happened. Ever since that earth-shattering kiss, the fire and passion came back! Holy shit! I've been reading and ENJOYING fics nonstop this whole week, I can't concentrate on work thinking about everything and reading in-between tasks, I use every single free minute I have to search new fics and scroll through the tags, I go to sleep late because I need to read just one more fic(!!!) even tough I have to wake up very early in the morning and I DON'T EVEN CARE. I'm thinking about it sooo much and imagining new scenarios in my head, and feeling giddy and happy, in a good mood a lot of the time, more optimistic, knowing I have a new and exciting place I can "escape" to, like I had in the past.

Its not that i'm not happy, I have an amazing son and a wonderful husband and I cherish every moment with them, but these are hard and difficult times and life can be hard and stressful and I'm a different kind of happy... So these past few days have been nourishment for my soul and my mood, it sounds so silly but its true! I'm feeling a bit like my old self and it's amazing.

And if someone did read this or did pay attention and got to this point, sorry for the long rant and thank you so much for the patience and understanding 🙏 I love you and wish you a wonderful weekend and happy Buck's-first-date-with-a-man day! 🥰

So I want to thank, from the bottom of my heart, ABC, Oliver, Lou and you crazy lot for resurrecting my old fangirl self 😌 I'm so grateful for all your posts, your takes, your similar enjoyment and of course your amazing fics you're writing and sharing 🩵

[insidethejob]

What about yandere!platonic!father rand Ridley and yandere platonic sister Reagan with their genius!daughter/sister y/n who works for incognito and is dating yandere Brett

OH! That's fun...

[Reader had feminine pronouns, such as She/Her]

Rand is very disapproving of you dating Brett

He truly believes no one is good enough for his daughters, especially his youngest

Reagan doesn't hate Brett, at least not because he loves you, but mostly because he's taking her job

Though when Brett tells her that he's in love with you, she punches him. He pretty much took her job and now he's trying to take her sister?

"If you touch my sister, just remember I know where you live and I will kill you"

Brett is so giddy with you and Reagan's yandere tendencies are just for her to see you happy. She wants you to have the life she never had and she would be willing to give anything for it

Now Rand on the other hand doesn't care. He hates Brett and he makes it known to everyone, especially Brett

"I think your dad hates me"

^ "Nooooo... He's just... Difficult"

"Dad tell Brett you don't hate him"

"Why? I do hate him"

"You're not good enough for my daughter and no matter what you do, it'll never change my mind. If you really loved her, you'd leave her because she deserves better"

Rand and Reagan are opposite yandere. Reagan wants you happy, even if it's with the idiot Brett. But Rand is so stuck in his own world, that he thinks you're too smart for some guy. Rand wants to keep you trapped in a box, especially since he's realized he's losing Reagan

Rand sees Brett as a threat to his control over you

Rand, unlike Reagan, doesn't care about you being happy

Brett does take you away for a while, to hide from the rest of your co-workers

Brett's biggest passion is making you happy and would do anything for you

If you ever need anything, he's willing to drop everything to help you

He wants you to love him- No, he NEEDS you to love him. He wants you to need him. He just wants to be everything to you

Your father does everything to stop you guys. He doesn't care if he can't ever sleep, as long as that man is never inside you spreading his stupid genes with you

He'd rather have no grandchildren, than having half-Brett Grandchildren

Though Rand can't always watch you, much to his displeasure

Brett always finds a way to be with you and nothing could stop him

Brett wants to protect you, just like your sister, but there are some things you won't even let him know [Much to his displeasure]

Reagan will help you get away from Rand, by distracting him

Though, even though Rand hates Brett [and Brett knows this], Brett still tries to impress him, because he loves you so much and wants your father to like him

But it's never going to happen, no matter how hard he works

Because like I said before- "No one will ever be good enough for my daughter, not even you Dog Boy"

[gingiesworld]

At My Worst

Chapter Seven

Leigh Shaw x GN! Reader

Warnings: None really but fluff and both Leigh and reader being nervous messes.

Taglist: @username23345

18+ MINORS DNI

Y/N was released after a couple of weeks after the incident. Leigh had decided to start on organising the wedding. Asking about the guests from both sides.

"I guess my family and some friends." They told her as they lay on the sofa as per Leigh's orders. "If I could marry you now I wouldn't care about inviting anyone because I just want to be married to you, but I want to give you a wedding you would like to have."

"Why don't we just elope?" Leigh questioned. "Take an unexpected road trip to Vegas and have an Elvis wannabe marry us."

"As much as that would be fun, I think your mom and sister will most likely do a better job at killing me." They chuckled as Leigh glared at them. "Too soon sorry."

"You have no idea how worried I was." Leigh whispered as she held Y/N's hand. "I thought I was going to lose you and I don't ever want to feel that again."

"Well, I am going to quit." They told her. "And I am going to maybe get a job at the local school maybe, especially since I was a star athlete."

"Whatever." She chuckled as Y/N smiled at her. "What?" She questioned.

"I love you so much." They told her honestly before taking a deep breath. "I never really told you but in that cell, you were the only thing on my mind. I wanted to fight for you."

"Y/N." Leigh whispered as she fully faced them.

"I never wanted you to go through that pain again." They whispered. "It wasn't something that I wanted for you so I fought to stay here for you. For us."

-----

As the weeks went on, Y/N was recovering amazingly with the help of Leigh. The two had set the date for the wedding and Y/N was finally able to pick up their suit with the help of Nat.

"You look dashing." Nat smirked as Y/N came out of the fitting room.

"Yeah? It's not tacky?" Y/N questioned.

"No, the one with the ruffles and the bow tie were tacky but they were for my amusement." She smirked as Y/N shook their head in amusement. "But yes, this is the one." Nat confirmed as Y/N smiled before changing out of it and paying the cashier. "I still can't believe you're leaving us."

"I need a safer job." Y/N admitted. "I did love working there but I can't put Leigh through the pain of losing someone she loves again."

"So you're doing it for her." Nat stated as Y/N nodded as they walked into the coffee shop.

"I would do anything for her." Y/N admitted as Nat just smiled at them before ordering their coffees.

"I think I am going to leave the job too." Nat admitted. "Since that day, I don't feel safe at all."

"I'm sorry." Y/N took her hand as Nat smiled at them.

"You defended me." Nat stated. "But because of the possobilities of what could have happened if you weren't there keep going through my mind and I am scared to go back."

"Well do it." Y/N told her. "Go after the job you wanted before you worked there."

"Just like you." Nat smirked as Y/N nodded taking a sip of there drink.

"Just like me." They smiled as Nat laughed at their goofiness.

------

Leigh paced around her mom's living room as she made sure that everything was ready, her mom, Jules and Drew all stood at the kitchen island, watching with amused looks on their faces.

"She wasn't this nervous for her wedding with Matt." Drew stated as the other two agreed as they watched her on the phone.

"So, is the caterer still on board?" Amy asked as Leigh nodded.

"I am just so nervous." Leigh admitted. "I want everything to be perfect for our day."

"Leigh, everything will be fine." Drew told her as she soon nodded. "As long as Y/N is stood at the alter in a suit, ready to say I do as soon as asked, everything will be perfect."

"You're right." She sighed as she flopped down on the sofa. "Where is Y/N?" She soon questioned as she noticed the time.

"They are with Nat." Jules informed her. "They texted me earlier telling me to let you know they may be a little late."

------

The day of the wedding approached faster than either anticipated, Y/N had Nat stay with them while Leigh stayed in her old room. Her mom wanted to help her get ready again as Y/N headed over to the venue to make sure everything was set for Leigh.

"Everything is going to be perfect." Nat told them as she stood beside them in her own suit.

"Yeah?" They questioned as Nat nodded.

"Yeah." She confirmed. "Leigh is a very lucky woman."

"No." Y/N shook their head. "I am the lucky one to have a chance at a life with her."

As all of the guests had took their seats, friends of both Y/N's and Leigh's. Even some of their old high school friends were sat in their seats. Ready to witness a true fairytale as the two have been within arms length all of their lives but never knew it.

As the wedding march had begun, Leigh nervously took a shaky breath as she took Drew's arm as he walked her down the aisle. Y/N felt their heart stop as they saw her dressed in her white dress, their smile grew as tears formed in their eyes.

"Leigh, there isn't enough words in any language to say how deeply I am in love with you. Every moment I spend with you, I fall deeper and the deeper I fall there isn't any turning back, although that is something I don't want to do." They told her, Leigh's smile growing with every word spoken. "All I know is that I want to be by your side on every journey we take together as one. I love you so much."

"Wow." She whispered as she wiped her eyes. "Y/N, I had been in a very bad place for a few years before we met in that bar. At that moment, my heart knew I needed you to live. To move on and be happy, and that is what I am. I am the happiest I have been in years. You are my light in the dark and I love you so much."

As the I do's were said, Y/N never waited for the pastor to say the words, they just kissed Leigh passionately. Showing her in that one kiss they were ready for a life full of love and happiness with her.

[good4olivia]

dark!aemond hc's

warnings: late night thoughts, not rlly edited, typos, gaslighting, aemond is a manipulative lil shit, but idc i would do aything for this man, this is the last time i write straight on the tumblr lol

pairing: aemond targaryen x f!maid!reader

you were the only maid he tolerated, you didn't stare at him or try to talk to him, you only did your job. he liked that about you, so much in fact that when the septa moved you to work in the kitchens, aemond threw a fit about it.

"who are you?! where is y/n?" he would yell at the unsuspecting maid in his chambers. she only lasted an evening before you were returned to aemond.

"why did you agree to leave? do you not like being here?" he questioned you, watching as you folded his clothes.

"no, my prince. i simply go where the septa tells me to go, she told me to go work in the kitchens, i went there." you didn't look up at him, you weren't scared that the prince would hurt you but you certainly didn't appreciate the intense look in his eyes

"i don't give a shit what the septa says, you're not to go somewhere else. from now on, you're only job is to look after me"

after that, things changed between you and aemond. before, he would simply just watch you - bend down under his bed, or see your cleavage when you are pouring his wine but now - now, he will touch you. simple, innocent (not really) touches that made your skin crawl.

one night, after he had had too much to drink, he asked you to spend the night in his bed. "just to sleep, my love. i just want to be close to you. don't you want to be close to me?"

you just wanted to sleep in your own quarters, your bed was nothing compared to his, but it was yours

apparently you had taken too long to answer, "i must've been mistaken to believe perhaps you felt the same but how could you? i am disfigured and abrasive, a lady such as yourself could never-"

"no, no of course not my prince. i'm sorry i was just... well honestly i was surprised you asked, i believed my... feelings for you to be only one-sided."

the smile on his face after you said made your stomach errupt in butterflies, you weren't sure which kind

he watched you slip out of your dress, only in your undergarments he could make out your tender body so much more clearly, he already felt his nightpants tighten

aemond did not keep his promise to 'just sleep', when you laid next to him he pulled you close, kissed your hair and gently guided your hand to his cock, "you're so beautiful." he whispered in your hair. "do you feel what you do to me, my flower?"

you moved your hand up and down, his breaths getting sharper and quicker, eventually, he finished as he was kissing, sucking on your neck

you felt ashamed at the wetness pooling down at your core, even more so at the moans that left you as he slipped his fingers in you, "does that feel good my love?" he said, god his voice had never sounded so good.

ever since that night, aemond had barely let you leave his chambers. everyone knew you belonged to him, aemond made no efforts to hide it, he simply did not care.

you, on the other hand, had to deal with jealous and petty maids, making your job harder, as well as cruel remarks from alicent.

as much as your time with aemond was fun, you wished for life before - not that you could ever speak your mind about that. anytime you said something remotely close to wanting some more freedom, he would blow up

"freedom for what? hmm? what can anyone give you that i can't? you're lucky i chose you. "

his outbursts would always be followed by his apologies after a few cups of wine,

"my love please forgive me. i just can't fathom losing you and when you say things like wanting to spend some nights in your old room, what am i supposed to think?"

"i'm sorry my prince, i did not think. i won't bring it up again." he kissed you deeply after that, cupping your face in his hands.

" i don't care what my mother says, you will be my wife. would that make you happy? us being married?"

"oh of course my love, nothing would make. me happier than being your wife."

two moons later, you were wed. aemond had given your family some gold in exchange for the loss of income (now that you were a princess, you were dismissed of your duties)

"i can't wait to see you full with my child." he would say to before finally taking you fully

he vowed to never father basters so before the wedding, he didn't fuck you, only the other stuff

no, you weren't allowed to leave the chambers without him, no any hope of you returning to work you enjoyed was long gone but somewhere down the road, you did end up falling in love with him.