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#WHY CANT THINGS BE A LITTLE NORMAL SOMETIMES
jrueships · 3 months
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im still so sick over that haha email ...
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fairyreblogs · 9 months
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man i dont know why (i have theories but hold on) but the fandoms Ive been in on the internet have been a little meaner these last few years. like i dont get nice comments on my fics anymore. i get ones with no reading comprehension or i get angry ones or i get ones that are enthusiastic and delighted but instead of any decorum they are like. aggressive in their delight. usually just a demand for more content. something has definitely changed in how people in fandoms interact with one another. my theories are just like. younger generations more comfortable with the internet not being as polite as older people on the internet are combined with quarantine kinda ruining a lot of peoples ability to interact socially (mine was ruined too to be fair). but like lately ive been in search of a fandom thats not the markiplier fandom that is nice to me and not aggressively-enthusiastic-weird (but i might take this too) and its kinda hard to find one. i dont know if i just dont have interests that align with happy communities, or what.
#markiplier fandom nice to me forever and ever.#sometimes they get me on edge when they demand i update and dont even say like 'nice fic i liked this' they just say 'update'#but thats literally like the meanest fan ive met so 👍#fnaf fandom is interesting. you definitely gotta treat them the way you want to be treated or theyre not gonna be nice#unfortunately this means you cant joke too much with them.#uh. moment of truth. percy jackson fandom kinda mean. ok they are mean. no kinda. also no reading comprehension#definitely a fandom that bonds by choosing something to nitpick and hate together. which sucks if you liked that thing they chosen that wee#my little corner of the xmen fandom has actually gotten nicer as time goes on. but also more obsessed with details and accuracy#but my corner of the xmen fandom was still nice enough that i adore them even if i havent been in it in ages#marvel is very so-so depending on where you are in the fandom but its such a large fanbase it is what it is. normal#witcher fandom from my experience has been pretty chill but i havent done much as a content creator for them to really know#d:be human is. decent. unfortunately a lot of outside hate there that it kinda outweighs how polite the fans are#star wars.... well. if you find your niche good for you! nice people. but if you get too generalized with your niche. rip#sw fandom when you study mando'a or dai bendu: hai X3 !!#sw fandom when you get too generalized and talk 'prequel vs sequel': die#vent#this is funny because i was really nice about this sw comment. but its generalized. which means someone will tell me to die.#why do i know this? because ive made this comment about the sw fandom before. =_=
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nachtnabelle · 4 months
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just now my bsf since childhood said that i dont have problems/insecurities compared to the rest of our friends and it made me laugh
like yep! no issues! just the bulimia since we were 14, the disordered eating habits since way before then, body dysmorphia, constant emotional dysregulation and ofc! who could forget about the violent inferiority complex simultaneous with the belief that im a violent monster that shouldve ended things when we were 14.
no issues at all 🩵
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goldiipond · 1 year
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nintendos announced not only the first mainline game with daisy in it but shes also a playable character AND we’re getting a new super princess peach i just felt little child skye explode somewhere
#skye's ramblings#god i fuckin ADORED the ds super princess peach this rules ohhh my god!!!!!!!!! obsessed w the little partner creature they are cute <3#little skye was the BIGGEST peach fan for years. call me basic but looking back. shewas probably my first fictional crush#AND DAISY ILOVE DAISY YAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ive wanted mainline daisy for sooo long i will be playig as her if i get thegame <3#ive noticed recent iterations of daisy have been slightly more tan like theyre trying to backtrack on the whitewashing#which is good! but theyre being such cowards about it makw her brown again. now <3 also literaly any eye color besides blue wuold b nice#ANYWAY ALSO!!! new smrpg fuck yes. i have heard wonderful things abt that game but i gave up on it VERY early from the difficulty </3#so i hope this one'll be a little more accessible i was 16 when i tried it. thinking abt trying to play it as a kid is. oouugh#idk why i just gave up normally if i cant play a game or evenif the gameplays just not my style ill watch a playthrough. laziness i suppose#also no new papers mario im not surprised but getting a new announcement this year isnt totaly impossible so. smiles serenely#given the average gap between pm games we are most likely to get a new one sometime next year heheheheheheheheheheheheh#t/pn followers i apologize for the person i'll become whenever that happens <3 obsession is inevitable for anything involving that series#anywayay theres skyes awesome direct thoughts and m&l is still dead. alphadream come home
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bluupxels · 2 years
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im very self conscious of people watching me play sims to the point where i had a nightmare last night of someone i know (i forgot who) watching me play and judging some of the mods i have i was so stressed 😭
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bananayoshimoto · 2 years
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grabbing people by their shoulders shaking them and asking them if they really do feel all the emotions they say they feel and have experienced all the things the poets talk about that they say makesthem want to scream cry and throw up and tear their hair out and all of this isn't just some elaborate scheme everyone is partaking in to appear human i wasn't notified about or if i truly am totally completely fucking alone
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transfemzedaph · 2 months
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google searchbwhat the fuck is wrong with me
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toastsnaffler · 2 months
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trying to watch all of us strangers and it's just making me cry really hard this is why I don't do romance movies WAH
#not even at actual sad bits i just lose my mind watching ppl w chemistry act romantically on screen#when its well done and it feels intimate..... taking poison damage ouuuuurggh. -1hp -1hp -1hp ow... -1hp#god i fucking miss kissing ppl i miss physical intimacy its hard to breathe watching this. in a good way but also oww. ouch!!!!#i am so normal and well adjusted i promise. come here#i wish i didnt react the way i do sometimes to physical contact theres no reason i dont understand why it happens#like i wish it was easy for me and came naturally bc i always want it so so badly. but the fucking flinch where does that come from#and it makes everyone treat me like glass and avoid me bc they think i dont like it or just tolerate it i promise im not lying come back#its so so so frustrating and i find it so hard to watch other ppl being affectionate its like looking directly at thr sun#and i know im so obvious around other ppl when i get upset bc theyll touch and avoid me and then i get upset if they do touch me bc they#only do it when they feel bad for leaving me out ppl only ever hug me when they feel sorry for me do u know how shit that makes me feel#i just want ppl to want me around and in their space bc thats what i want but is it too much.to ask 🥹🥹🥹🥹#its easier when i warm up to ppl but it just takes so long and its so rare for anyone to believe me by that point the boundaries are set#im like a little feral kitten i need to be physically socialised before i get adopted#this isnt even making sense anymore im so tired my mind is all over the placr. sloshing on the floor. anyway ummmm#i cant keep being like this forever man#not even talking abt sex but thats a whole other thing. wouldnt it be nice to fuck without fitting the stone top role. i wouldnt know#all respect to ppl who are stone and all the ace ppl i know but im NOT i do want it i very much do experience the attraction!!!!#but for some reason my body wont let other ppl touch me it drives me fucking insane. i dont even have trauma like whatever man#didnt even use to be this bad i was such an affectionate kid n teen i wish i could go back man. man!!!#what a fucking decade of mental illness and repression does to a mf. forget all the other ways its affected me this is the worst by far#just the isolated n alienation innit. well it is what it is. maybe someday ill get it back#anyway sigh..... back to the movie.. i do like it so far its very pretty just different to my usual sort of film innit#considering i watched cure last weekend ajskdnf. the tonal difference#cure was a weird one but thr more i think abt it the more it sticks with me.... so good i need to watch more kurosawa#ANYWAY#.diaries#sorry for getting so personal on a saturday night.. im home alone for 24 hours and this is what happens
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snekdood · 11 months
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ig my biggest issue with fandoms is the almost... false closeness thats there in them? ig since i was a kid and wasnt good at enforcing boundaries and was just excited to find ppl with the same interest I didn't really think about it but be real like, there was a vibe that it was "okay" and "fine" to expose a lot about ourselves to eachother that... i think if we knew eachother irl... we'd hafta be a lot closer than that to see or hear about that stuff...
#like ig am i the only one who thinks its kinda weird when ppl would pass fanfics around??#ig its just kinda normal now or whatever but think about it. youd hafta be closer friends with someone- besides just sharing an interest-#to see their slash fics right?? doesnt it seem kinda weird that ppl used to be so willing to toss that out there#ig the level of anonymity helps but my point isnt rly about the fics so much as it is... sharing information thats personal to you#i definitely didnt know how to assert boundaries as a kid- like i just didnt know it was an option for me to be like 'no i dont want to do#that' -wow that sounds really fucked up outloud huh!#ig my autonomy was taken from me so much as a kid i kinda just assumed i wasnt the one who got a lot of choices#and no one really taught me enough about internet safety .-. my mom did once but... she didnt push very hard#and that ended me up in a lot of shitty situations- like on here. how i posted a pic of myself when i was a fuckin child#sexualizing myself and some adult commented something suggestive back to me and ig i just. thought i had to accept the situation#like i just. thought it was ok to happen. ig since i had so many ppl rob me of my bodily autonomy before that it just seemed normal#or at the very least it was something i couldnt change so i didnt try and at the time figured i had to accept as normal#and since no one intervened to tell me what any of those ppl did to me was wrong i just. didnt think about how it effected me or if that#even mattered#so why is my life so dark exactly whys it gotta be like this tho#ig its kinda hypocritical of me to post this. i mean i use my account as like a diary sometimes or that im just yelling into the void lol#but thats also kinda because of all of this honestly. i think i realized i didnt want it to be that way for a while and stopped#but after all the shit with my abuser on here its like.. i feel like i cant not be as open as i am?#idk its like... a testimony or something ig. idk how to describe it. ig i just feel like ill always hafta be defending myself online from#everything. and if i dont talk about every little thing that makes me fucked up then people wont leave me tf alone about shit i cant contro#or change. like i cant go back in the past and not do whatever. but also as far as any actual harm ive done there isnt really... much there#ive had shitty ideas normalized to me sure but i dont really feel like i passed those ideas on to anyone really
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kutyaharapas · 1 year
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i also really need a shirt that says "i survived a homoerotic obsessive codependent best friendship slash relationship in my more formative teen years and all ive got was this shirt"
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butchlifeguard · 1 year
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gonna be honest gang this is not trans joy of me
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esoteriamaya · 2 months
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Astro Observations Pt.. ????
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No, I cant keep up with the number. Lol. Lets go!
7th house placements def need to pick a side. They also need to put their foot down. Never let people who disrespect you back in. And if you're going to cut off one person for doing it, you gotta do it with everyone else. Just cause they relationship is long term doesn't mean much.
10th house placements need to focus on the things they truly love vs always digging into what they need to do for their career. Worry less about your ambitions from time to time and enjoy the flow. I know ti sucks but, you gotta relax a little.
Sun/Pluto placements can have a lot of rebirth experiences, but one thing that is important is their for growth. Which always seems to come through transformation, but not all the time. It comes through people, and the expression of being around people who love you. Thats what transform them the most. They need the world to truly see them for who they are, other wise they will only show one side of them, and that will ultimately be the version they transform into but it will only kill them from the inside and not benefit them.
Venus/Neptune placements have an inkling for romanticism, fantasy and philosophy in their relationships. They need something that makes them breathe words of enlightenment, purity and emotion. They have the tendency to make things seem more than what they are, rose colored glasses are no match for them at times. A little insight on them is that their emotions can go a little array when they aren't surrounded by the right people. They tend to suck in energy like a sponge, this is neptune energy. But with them you can notice a small difference between them and their lovers, like is it making them glow or is it draining? Thats what they need to ask themselves at times.
Jupiter in the 11th house can proudly be the most optimistic friend in the group. They could become the leader of an organization. They could be the one people come to for advice on certain matters or they could easily be someone people go to when they want to learn more about something. Very charismatic and sharp. Stern but sweet. A little rough around the edges but they get things done!
5th house Suns have a universe of emotions that express themselves in all types of ways. They'll have kids that are just as sweet & charismatic as them. They are a NATURAL at making people laugh! They normally have gorgeous spirits and people do enjoy their company.
Gemini placements have an alluring nature to them due to their minds. Their mysticism is through the art of words and are very tricky individuals. They have come here to master the mind and find ways to fully express their intellect in hopes to connect with as many as possible. They are a one of one when it comes to this area of life.
Moon in the 1st are seen as thoughtful, loving sweet creatures who everyone seems to be super fond of. They hide a lot of their emotions but sometimes we can tell when they're not okay.
Theres just something about them that brightens a persons day. They try to make a good example to others by the why they embrace their feelings and this usually inspires others to do the same.
Sun square neptune - Might be in the wrong crowd from time to time. Has to stay sober most of the time, getting into drugs and alcohol can be addictive and might not be worth it at times. Genuinely misunderstood. Might need a doctor to figure out why they act the way that they do (all jokes).
Very spiritual, this is contained tho. They dont really open up to people about religion or anything connected to spirituality/God. Its their own thing, and its very special/private to them.
Moon/Uranus placements - Needs a doctor. Okay im joking lol. Anyways their lucky to have this one because their minds are very capable of entering into mass amounts of information that is truly locked away from the rest of the world. Like their neptune friends, they have a connection to divine sources that strikes down to them from time to time almost like a brain blast. Could be a oracle, psychic, someone who just knows whats going to happen in the next years to come etc. Could be really creative too.
4th house placements can be friends you can depend on all of the time. They have a warm, soothing personality and their the type of friends you grow up into adulthood with.
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princeoftheeternalbog · 11 months
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Where op characters like to kiss you :)
I'm not sure I like this one so much but I've been a little busier this week so I hope it's enjoyable anyways.
Established relationship, suggestive in some parts(Law, Kid) so mdni.
Might have some very minor spoilers if you aren't past the timeskip, in Robin's part and it's a brief mention of someone the strawhats team up with. There's also a slight reference to some details about Killer but no specifics.
Luffy
Your entire face! Especially while you're smiling, he just cant help the giddiness that bubbles up inside him when he sees you smiling or laughing...so he has to let it out by giving you lots of little kisses on your face ://). His arms stretch out to wrap around you, bundling you two together while he grins and starts his onslaught, once he's got you there's no escape.
Also when he kisses you on the mouth he always cups your entire face with his hands and pulls you into him, pressing his lips to yours in-between soft giggles.
Zoro
Forehead/temple. It's easy, it's quick, he just swoops in with a little mwah and then he's gone before you can even register it. Especially loves to do it before a fight because he thinks it's good luck. It really can throw him off if he hasnt kissed you at least once that day so usually he tries to get one in every morning when you wake up. Absolutely melts if you kiss him on the forehead back.
Once he gets used to you kissing him then he's constantly asking, but instead of asking normally he just stares at you for a long while before leaning towards you and tapping his forehead very pointedly.
Sanji
Cheek. (Not that kind of cheek...although-)
Anyways he thinks it's a very sweet place to kiss, and he likes it because it can be both chaste and teasing. For example if it's just a quick soft kiss then it'll be closer to the apple of your cheeks, but if he wants to tease you he'll kiss directly next to corner of your mouth or right by your jaw.
Sometimes purposefully teases you in front of others because he knows it looks innocent from an outside perspective so you can't tell him off for flustering you. Though it's easy to turn the tables, just wear a little bit of shiny lipgloss and he won't be able to concentrate at all, this is when you give him a nice chaste cheek kiss of your own and go on your way. He stands still for so long his cigarette ends up burning out.
Usopp
Your hands. It's subtle but intimate enough that he feels comfortable doing it in public. Usually you link pinkies while walking around or sitting together so whenever he has to let go, for whatever reason, he'll swing your joined hands up to kiss your knuckles. The way he does it is so different from how he reacts to affection normally that it makes your knees go wobbly, it's probably about the only thing he does with full casual confidence.
Eventually he notices the effect this has on you and it actually really helps him develop confidence in other areas too. And if you do it back he gives you this lovely warm smile and he's just so so pretty.
Nami
Shoulders. I'm not sure why but i can just imagine her dropping a delicate kiss to your shoulder as she walks past on deck, or her rolling over in the morning and just giving you lots of light little kisses on your decolletage. Especially loves it if she's taller than you, even if only by a few inches. She also loves standing with her arms tossed over your shoulders, torsos as close as possible while she leans on you.
She really loves to kiss you here in public too, she feels like it's not too exposing but definitely can't be mistaken as platonic, she'll have you sat on her lap in a bar or something and after every sip of her drink she just leaves a gentle but sticky kiss.
Robin
Your lips. She's a woman that knows what she wants alright, and she is highkey obsessed with your lips. She thinks they look so soft and inviting and she's constantly fighting off the impulse to kiss you whenever you converse. It was a pretty serious problem for her before you got together. She just thinks they're so pretty and your beautiful voice and smile come from there too.
She also always kisses you at inappropriate times. After the alliance with Law began, she once kissed you while he was explaining a plan and the glare he levelled you both with was unreal.
Law
...stomach. He's obsessed with the shape of your body in general but there's just something about your stomach that makes him want to bite you(lovingly). If you wear a crop top and/or low rise jeans he practically explodes, he just can't help it. Fully spends hours sucking love bites into the skin there. Loves making you stand in front of him while hes sat, hands tight on your hips, leaving a trailer of wet kisses as he gets lower. He only makes you stand because he likes to see your knees tremble.
Now he's very reserved but he will kiss you in public if he can 1. do it stealthily and 2. inconvenience you in someway like making you too flustered to talk.
Kid
BASTARD! Neck. He has no shame and his kisses are always very intense so he will absolutely give you a hickie while you're talking to someone. You've learned to ignore him but you've also learned that makes him worse. The correct route is to give him a hickey in return, his neck is very sensitive so he folds so quickly. Though he will take revenge later so keep that in mind.
Absolutely hates it when he wants to kiss you but can't, like if you're out of his reach or asleep. Will sulk until he gets the chance to kiss you again and then he's all over you, doesn't let you leave his arms until all your exposed skin is covered in his signature lipstick.
You two would so do that one tiktok trend yk the one-
Killer
Now there's minor logistics problems here so I'm going to talk about it in two ways.
At the beginning of your relationship, he absolutely adores it when you kiss his mask. Thinks the sentiment is so cute and the first time it happened he blushed so hard that you could practically see steam coming out of the gaps in his mask.
If you've been together for a really long time and he's comfortable enough to take his mask off then he loves just kissing you anywhere he can reach. He's just obsessed with being able to actually touch you when you're alone. Though the incidents in wano would set him back quite a lot in terms of insecurity, he still finds comfort in hiding away with you in his room, exchanging soft words and softer kisses.
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valsdelulucorner · 4 months
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could you please do mammon night time headcannons please, I love your writing
thank you<3
Mammon, night time with you<3
Mammon is a model and does photoshoots on the side, so that he needs to keep his teeth and skin in good condition. Sometimes before you both head to bed, he will remember last minute and drag you off to the bathroom to do your nightly routine in his bathroom. 100% open to doing skincare and face masks with you if you do them, but when your gone he normally just washes his face with soap then put a little moisturizer on his nose, chin and forehead. Definitely holds your hand when you both are brushing your teeth, be acts like its nothing but his cheeks go bright red
If you guys don't have school tomorrow, he will probably stay up extra late with you because he loves spending time with you, every moment is precious. He will put on a movie on his projector and cuddle up with you on his sofa, his head on your stomach and his arms wrapped around you, your hands entangled in his hair. Once you both stayed up late watching movies on a school night and were caught by lucifer in the morning, dead asleep on each other as a movie auto plays in the background. He groaned before leaving the room, he'll have a talk with you both but for now he'll just focus on his own problems
He loves falling asleep to the sound of your voice, he doesn't know why but he finds your voice comforting. It doesn't matter how deep, squeaky, high pitched, soft spoken, raspy, quite, or loud your voice is, he finds comfort in knowing his favourite human is talking with him, knowing that your voice is the last thing he will hear before he falls asleep. Just speak with him with your fingers playing with his hair and he'll be out like a light
I've mentioned in past fanfics that Mammon suffers from nightmares from when belphie left you lifeless in his arms, It doesn't effect him all the time but when it does, he likes it when you are close to him, it gives him that comfort knowing his human is alive and next to him. Sometimes you wake up to him quietly sobbing into your neck, whispering "thank you"'s and "dont do that again" against your skin while he holds you in a death grip
If you have long hair or if you have a specific hair routine that you do before going to bed (putting it in a bonnet, braiding it, putting hair products in, ect.), he will 100% help you with that if you ever need. He likes being around you as embarrassing it is for him to admit but he would gladly just sit with you if you want to do it on your own. Hes willing to wait with you for as long as you need
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Its short and sweet, i love this man so much I cant even<3
Sorry for it being so short but What should I do next?
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Eddie's porn stash is a pretty conventional one. An 'if you've seen one stash you've seen them all' type. It basically only consists of skin mags, some of them kinky but most of them vanilla. Normal stuff.
The oddest thing in it is a two-year-old calendar. You know those sexy firefighter calendars? Usually a charity thing? A hit with the housewife crowd? Yeah. Except this calendar decided to branch out and include a bunch of sexy men from a bunch of sexy professions.
So, in this thing, joining the sexy firefighter is a sexy doctor, a sexy construction worker, a sexy police officer (whose month Eddie tore out and burned because fuck cops but don't ever fuck cops), a sexy librarian, and so on. They're all really good-looking, but none of them hold a candle to the paramedic.
It's weird. Paramedics aren't normally part of the traditionally sexy professions. It's messy and sometimes tragic, but lacks the high-paying glamour that doctors and nurses enjoy. Eddie's had his fair share of fantasies, and none of them involved fucking a paramedic.
Until two years ago.
The guy in the calendar simply is that hot.
There's not even anything risqué about his picture. None of the pictures go beyond "this dude is chiseled and shirtless", because veering even slightly past the softest softcore territory would scare off the little housewives or something.
(Eddie is actually pretty fucking sure it'd increase the sales, but hey, what does he know.)
The point is, there's nothing that obscene about the pic. Just a guy kneeling in the back of an ambulance, first aid equipment scattered between his powerful thighs, shirt open to reveal his sculpted torso…
Dark hair spanning across his pecs, over his abs, vanishing down his tight tight tight pants. Hips canting upward, bringing attention to the size of his bulge beneath the zipper. Broad shoulders, ripped arms and large hands, veins protruding across the back. A pretty yet masculine face, with a strong jaw and a straight nose, full lips, a smattering of moles going down his biteable neck. Voluminous, golden brown hair swooped away from his twinkling eyes.
He's got this look in them, this slant to his mouth. Like he knows he's the hottest guy in the calendar.
The one month everyone will go crazy for.
Eddie has become intimately familiar with that look. No joke, in two years it's made him crack his marbles more than anyone else has done in his quarter-century lifetime. When all else fails, November-paramedic has his back. It's basically his longest relationship to date, which sounds a lot sadder out loud (and it sounded fucking sad inside his head, too).
You might wonder why any of that is relevant now, as he sits on the curb outside of The Behemoth with blood trickling from his temple, his band giving their statements to one cop while another hauls away the snarling douchebag that clipped him. How does it play a part in this god-awful night out, you ask?
Well.
"Sir?"
Eddie startles, too caught up in the thudding inside his head, made worse by the buzzing crowd, to notice the man approaching him. He looks up, his gaze gliding past uniformed legs, muscular forearms, a curved neck and honeyed eyes appraising Eddie, and oh.
Oh God.
Eddie's breath sticks in his chest and his tongue becomes a cognate to sandpaper, because it's the paramedic.
It's the paramedic. From the calendar.
He's hallucinating. He has to be. He collapsed on the sidewalk, and now he's having one last weird sex dream before his brain finishes seeping out and he fucking dies.
November-paramedic crouches in front of him. Eddie continues to gape like he's getting ready to catch the peanuts no one is tossing at him.
"My name is Steve. I'm with the ambulance," November-paramedic says. "What's your name?"
Eddie makes a noise incomprehensible to most Earth cultures before his brain registers the meaning of the question and stutters out the answer.
"I- Uh- E-Eddie. It's, it's Eddie."
November-paramedic – Steve – smiles kindly. Heat prickles across Eddie's cheeks and neck. It's not the same as the cocky, sexy smile he's got in the calendar, but still. He's smiling. At Eddie!
"Hi, Eddie." He nods toward Eddie's temple. "That's an impressive cut you got there. May I take a look at it?"
"Yeah? Yeah. Um, g-go ahead."
As Steve sets down his bag and rummages through it, Eddie scours his face to confirm that it really is the guy from the calendar. To his chagrin, it is. There's no mistaking it. Those eyes, like liquid gold. That jawline, a weapon in its own right. Those moles, applied so skillfully it must've been by an artist's hand. That hair, coming straight out of a commercial for luxury shampoo. It's lying flatter than in the calendar, either lacking product or having sweated it out, but it's still glorious.
Steve, having finished washing his hands, tugs on a pair of disposable gloves. The plastic snaps against his wrist, sending a shiver through Eddie. It centers between his legs. Shit, if he pops a boner now…
"I'm going to ask you some questions, okay?" Steve says while pressing a square piece of gauze against the cut. "Do you know what day it is?"
"Eh, Thursday?"
"Do you know where you are?"
"The Behemoth."
Steve nods and, with a lopsided smile, asks, "And are you a patron or did you and your head injury just wander onto the scene?"
Eddie laughs. Loud, merry, and verging on too long. It wasn't even that funny. Steve seems pleased his joke was a success, though. Unless his smile is the uncomfortable kind that one wears when faced with the unhinged. Eddie isn't sure how much blood he's lost.
"No, I, like, my band…" he says, stammering like talking isn't what he does best. Jesus Christ, it's just a hot guy! Eddie has made a fool of himself in front of those plenty of times – no need to get flustered about it. He clears his throat. "We had a gig and, after, at the bar, some guys got into a fight. Got ugly, so we tried to leave, but… alas!" He makes a dramatic sweep of his arm, nearly clocking Steve. Steve expertly ducks away without lessening the pressure on the wound. Eddie soldiers on, not daring to pause lest he lose his steam. Hopefully his burning face is enough of an apology. "Fucker wasn't even aiming for me. He missed his intended target and struck me instead."
"Right. Did you lose consciousness after he hit you?"
"Nope."
"Good. Did you drink tonight?"
"Half a beer, at most."
"Do-"
"Eddie!"
Gareth's nasally voice cuts off Steve's question. The next second, he's materialized beside them with a slightly alarmed expression. "Dude, are you…!"
He trails off, eyes growing into dinner plates. There isn't that much blood, is there?
Steve looks Gareth up and down, a crease between his brows. "Is this your friend?"
"My drummer. Gareth."
Eddie half-expects Steve to demand Gareth leaves so he can do his job in peace, but nope. That kind, calm smile is back. He even gives him one of those little upward-nods 'cool guys' like to do.
"What's up, Gareth? I'm Steve; I'm with the ambulance. Just making sure Eddie won't keel over later tonight."
"Uh huh…" Gareth kneels opposite Steve. He's smiling too, but his is shit eating. Eddie frowns in confusion, because what does Gareth have to be happy about? He was freaking out right after Eddie got hit, but now he's staring at Steve like-
Oh.
He's staring at Steve.
No. Noooooooooo! Oh shit! Oh fuck! Oh why, why has he kept his porn stash in a drawer without a lock all these years?! He can't recollect the reason Gareth opened that particular drawer on that particular day – all Eddie remembers is how Gareth, Jeff, and Marv snickered when he explained the inclusion of the calendar.
That was it, though. They moved on. Sure, there has been the occasional roasting after the fact, but it's not like he hasn't also mocked them for their weird shit. But that's not the point. The point is that Gareth is staring at Steve like he recognizes him.
Gareth's attention flicks toward Eddie. Eddie shakes his head as subtly yet pleadingly as he can. Gareth's grin gobbles down another turd. Eddie makes a valiant effort to explode Gareth's eyeballs with his mind.
"Say…" Gareth turns to Steve. "Have we met?"
"I don't think so. Eddie, do you have a headache?"
"Yeah, man," Eddie says, voice trembling. "Hurts like hell."
"I could've sworn I've seen your face before," Gareth says. "Like, I'm 100% sure."
"Are you dizzy or nauseous?" Steve asks, ignoring Gareth.
"Um, a little dizzy but no nausea?"
"Hmm, okay. Blurred vision or uneven numbness?"
"No."
Steve nods, glancing at his watch. Then, to Eddie’s dismay, he looks at Gareth. "I've never been to this bar before."
"Nono, not here. Somewhere else…"
Steve's lips purse and his brows knit into the most adorable thinking-face Eddie has ever seen. His heart skips a beat, then skips two more as Steve's free hand gently cups Eddie's cheek. The skin catches fire where Steve's gloved fingertips touch it.
"Let me have a look at your pupils…" Steve says, guiding Eddie's face and, holy shit, leaning in close for a better look.
Eddie gulps, half his blood rushing up and the other half down; he squeezes his legs together to prevent the little guy from saying 'hello' to everyone present. His eyes rove over Steve's face. His lips are chapped and the skin on his nose is dry. The nose itself is somewhat crooked. Did he get into a fight between the calendar photoshoot and now, or did they make the nose straighter for the photo? Why would anyone think it necessary to edit a face like this one? Even with its imperfections mere inches away, it's still the handsomest Eddie has seen.
Steve hums. It's a perfectly preserved vinyl. It's a metal festival. It's Eddie's new favorite song.
"Same size but pretty dilated… Keep your eyes open, please." He shines a tiny flashlight into Eddie's eyes before nodding, satisfied. "All right, looks good."
He leans back out of Eddie's space, returning Eddie's ability to breathe, and removes the gauze. His smile tells Eddie that the bleeding has stopped. As great as it is that he won't hemorrhage to death, it also means their encounter is approaching its end.
"You might've seen me at the university campus?" Steve says, fiddling with some plasters; it takes Eddie's horny brain five full seconds to deduce he's talking to Gareth again.
"No-" Gareth freezes, mouth hanging open. His smugness has evaporated. "Actually, I might have? You're a student?"
Steve chuckles as he patches the last of Eddie's cut. "No, but my friends are. None of them own a car, so I end up driving them everywhere. Right, Eddie, I think you're good to recover at home. Unless you feel like you should head to the hospital?"
Great question! Does he? On the one hand: riding in the ambulance with Steve, ensuring a few additional minutes of his lustrous eyes and smooth voice.
On the other hand: hospital bills.
"… no."
"Okay. Do you have anyone who can keep an eye on you?"
Eddie shakes his head. "I live alone."
"Then maybe Gareth could hang around for the next 48 hours?"
"Sure can," Gareth says without hesitating. Eddie's heart swells with affection for him, despite his (failed! Hah!) plot to mortify Eddie to death.
Steve is already packing his medical bag.
"I want you to rest and avoid stressful situations," he tells Eddie. "No alcohol, no recreational drugs, no driving, and no working until you feel completely recovered. You may take tylenol, but not aspirin or ibuprofen. And if your symptoms worsen or you develop new ones – seek medical attention. Got it?"
The last part is sterner, reminding Eddie of every male authority figure he's strived to disobey during his teenage years. He has no such desire this time.
"Got it."
Steve raises his eyebrows as if to say 'have you really?', and Eddie has to wonder if it's he who seems contrariant and/or stupid enough to ignore the medic or if this is something Steve does with every patient. If it's the former, he mustn't seem that contrariant, because Steve's features soften into trust. He stands, brushing dust off his knees.
"Great. You boys take care now. Have a nice night."
"Yeah, you too, man," Eddie calls after him weakly as he retreats to the blinking ambulance. "Thanks…"
He keeps his gaze on the broad expanse of Steve's back, soaking in the rippling of his muscles as he walks and, oh would you look at that, his ass is as nice as the rest of him. Eddie's been wondering for two years now…
"Dude!"
Eddie jerks toward Gareth. Did he say that out loud? Did he drool? Is his boner showing? But no, Gareth isn't disgusted or disturbed – he's excited.
Shit.
He'll never hear the end of this.
"Don't!" he hisses.
Gareth just laughs, eyes twinkling.
"That was-"
"Don't!"
"I can't believe it!"
"Gareth-"
"You are so red right now!"
"For Jesus fucking Christ's fucking sake-"
------------------------------
Dedicated to @rougenancy for always listening to and encouraging my various thoughts, opinions, and ideas (they are constant).
Part 2
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