#Walnut the alien

[tinywafflerat]

new character!! presenting….

WALNUT

YOU! yes YOU get to decide the fate of the universe Walnut’s pronouns! I cannot keep trying to balance all genders in my ocs so idk.. reblog/comment with ideas? I’ll put the ones I like in a list below!

ummmmm maid dress walnut + outfit idea (yes I know it doesn’t match with the original shush) (top eye closes sideways)

[unanchored-ship]

how

how is it so low quality...

but anyway my science teacher started talking about the difference between carpenter and bumble bees so I gave Walnut a new friend :]

also heyyyyyy you guys get to see the microbiology addicted part of me with yellow fever! (I came up with her design on the spot cuz her old one was bland af)

[chomesuke]

eating pears grown from a tree outside and am puzzled over their lack of seeds and am ofc wondering if they're even actually pears despite them looking, acting, and tasting exactly like pears

[silveragelovechild]

A favorite episode from the original “Dick Van Dyke Show:

“It May Look Like a Walnut” (1963)

To prevent Earth from exploring space, the planet Twylo sent Agent Kolak to deliver a warning message to the United Nations. He next implemented a plan to stripe humans of their imagination and remove their thumbs - without thumbs humans could not invent new space ships. Twyloians have 2 extra eyes at the back of their heads and absorb oxygen from the water they drink. And they subsist on WALNUTS! Of it all a nightmare!

[scarletanpan]

Shoutout to the regular who kept asking me every morning if we had walnuts for his oatmeal (we don’t) and when I went out of my way to buy some and bring to work, I show him and he looks at me strange, nods slowly and never orders oatmeal again for the rest of the stay

[fallingtowers]

was lying in bed laughing last night thinking about if there had been a subplot on the sopranos about a roswell type incident happening in new jersey. and it was just like

alien: "i come in p-"

paulie walnuts: BANG 💥 BANG💥💥 BANG 💥 BANG 💥BANG 💥BANG 💥💥BANGBANG 💥 BANG 💥 BANG 💥 💥BANG 💥BANG💥 BANG 💥 *click* *click* *clickclickc* *click* *click* *click*

and meanwhile tony is like yelling at one of his kids for crashing their car or whatever and he never ever finds out about any of this. later on they're at satriale's and paulie says something about "closing counters of the third kind" and tony gives him a weird look and paulie doesn't elaborate. "two little men in a flying saucer" by ella fitzgerald starts playing. roll credits

[unbloodiedmartyr]

it's 2am but I cannot stop thinking about tsv and what it has to say about the dual alienation and commodification of family in a capitalist system. I would expand more but my brain is a shrivelled up walnut

[the-bofurin-digest]

Haruka Sakura Casual Headcanons

Casual headcanons

~ Irrational fear of dolls, clowns, and birds (seagulls) ~ believed a sock of dry rice heated up in the microwave for two minutes can heal any injury and cure any illness ~ Lowkey an ice cream lover. Like a basic vanilla/chocolate swirl soft serve, goes toward berry flavors when it's hand dipped ice cream, would KILL to have a banana split every day of his life ~ likes ice when it's the “fancy” ice (not cubed, chipped ice) in his drinks. Easier to chomp on when he's anxious too ~ listens to a Japanese 80s city pop playlist as he's getting ready in the morning.  ~ strict on oral hygiene. Can't go to sleep until he's thoroughly flossed, brushed, and rinsed.  ~ makes his hair messy on purpose. Thinks it makes him look intimidating or cool. ~ Loves autumn rainy days. Likes the smell of the damp leaves and how quiet and still everything is, especially in the early morning. ~ black and white sci fi movies are some of his favorite things to watch. He thinks the alien costumes are funny. ~ I feel like he would secretly be interested in something like snowboarding. Something he is willing to try if ever given the chance.

Dating Headcanons

~ The two of you would meet in the most CHEESY way possible. Picture this: It's a rainy evening and Sakura just missed the bus, and the next one doesn't run for the next hour. So there he is, sitting alone and grumpy in the rain, when all of a sudden he hears a small voice speak up behind him as he finds himself suddenly sharing an umbrella with you. ~ Naturally, he becomes flustered and yells about sneaking up on a stranger like that, but instead of being scared or taken aback, he becomes confused when you laugh and tell him "oh, you would rather be soaked to the bone then? Okay!" He will grumble about not meaning that, shove his hands in his pockets, and try and decide to either stand there awkwardly in silence for the next hour or suffer and make small talk ~Best hour of his life. ~ Love Language when receiving love: Acts of service. When you do something for him, like match his socks on laundry day or pack him a lunch, it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Even though he communicates that in a bit of a brash way, he really appreciates all the things you do for him like that ~ Love Language when giving love: Quality time. When he goes out of his way to spend time with you or see you, that's when you know things are real with him. Also, acts of service. He wants to return the favors you do for him, even if it's something he is reluctant to do. ~ Not really big into actual dates or planning them. His favorite way to spend time with you is by doing small, domestic things. Weekly laundry and binge watching some stupid show together while you fold and talk (talk as in you tease him the whole time and he snaps at you while flustered to no end.) ~ As much of a walnut as he can be I feel like with a partner once he becomes truly comfortable and opens up, I think Sakura would make a wonderful and dedicated boyfriend. He may be harsh around the edges but he is constantly showing you his love and loyalty and once that confidence is there for him the two of you can have something truly special.

[pouringforever]

Mushroom soup - something somehow totally alien to me, someone who has been obsessed with mushrooms since they were a child. I think I had it once and it was gritty and horribly textured and it put me off, and then the idea never really occurred to me.

Anyway my mum mentioned it on the phone the other day and I though, this sounds like the time of year for it, so I gave it a shot.

It's mostly just standard white mushrooms but I also threw in a mixture of dried Chinese pearl mushrooms and dried woodland ones I'd soaked and chopped up.

With celery, onion and garlic cooked down first, lots of olive oil. Fresh thyme and chopped dill. A little crushed aleppi chilli & paprika. Stock obvi. Seasoned at the end with a little apple cider vinegar that has blackcurrant juice through it & walnut oil. Then a touch of cream blended through.

Then served with a dribble more of the cream, walnut oil and blackcurrant vinegar.

[marlynnofmany]

The Ability to Smell Beauty

“Do you smell that?” Paint asked, flicking her tongue out to taste the air, just like the orange-scaled lizard she resembled. “That is LOVELY. Where is it?”

I looked around the forest-lined landing pad. All sorts of plants that I’d never seen before waved on the breeze: tree-things shaped like willows that someone had coated in enough hairspray to make them stand on end, bush-things with leaves that snapped at flies, moss and mushrooms and lumps that could have been frogs or seedpods, or maybe oddly-shaped rocks.

“I have no idea,” I told Paint honestly.

“Help me find it,” she said, striding away from the ship with her shoulder bag held tight and determination on her scaly face.

I glanced back at the captain and several others, who were passing time with an alien card game. The person who was supposed to have delivered our next shipment was late. Nothing else to do but hang around and try not to be bored.

“We’re going to look around a little,” I called, walking after Paint. “We won’t go far.”

Captain Sunlight nodded, her own scaly yellow face focused on the cards. “Scream if you need anything.” Then she triumphantly played a card that made Mur flail his tentacles in aggravation.

I said that I would, and followed my shorter crewmate as she waded into the undergrowth with her tongue flicking madly.

“So what exact smell are we looking for?” I asked, wondering if that was the right word. “Smelling for?”

“It’s kind of sharp, but in a good way,” Paint told me distractedly. “Sharp like a good kitchen knife, like string music, like a poignant memory.”

“Right,” I said, taking an experimental sniff. Everything smelled like alien plants, and not like violins or whatever. “Hm.”

“I think it’s this way. Low to the ground.” Paint scrambled under bushes, getting her bag caught on one of the flytrap mouths.

“Do you want me to carry that?” I asked.

“Yes please.” She held it up, still under the bush. Flytraps slapped at both of us, but weren’t strong enough to do any damage, even to my soft human skin. Paint probably didn’t even notice through her scales.

I shouldered the bag that held Paint’s sketchbook or novel or entertainment screen; whatever she’d brought out for waiting in the sun. I’d been about to go back in for something similar when she’d hared off on this quest.

“Over here!” Paint said, sounding more sure. She rustled out the other side of the bush and made delighted noises. When I made my way around the shrubbery, I found her at the base of a large boulder, gathering walnut-looking things into a greedy pile.

“Is that it?” I asked.

“Yes! Smell one!” Paint thrust one toward me.

I took it and sniffed. Not bad. Kind of like cloves, that sort of spicy sharpness that just felt festive. “Huh. Pretty good.”

“Isn’t it amazing?” Paint asked, holding up a double handful and taking an open-mouthed whiff. “Gimme the bag back; I’m taking these with me.”

“Are you sure they’re safe?” I asked as I handed it over. “Do you know what kind of plant they are?”

“Yeah, it’s that one from the store on the beach back home,” Paint said, shoveling eagerly. “The good one I could never find again. I forget the name. Sunlight will know.”

“All right,” I agreed. They really didn’t smell that special to me. It would be interesting to see if Captain Sunlight also treated the things like lizard-alien catnip, or if this was just something that Paint liked. A lot.

When she’d gathered everything on the ground — a few good handfuls — she looked around for more. I spotted one growing from the spindly sapling that poked out of a crack in the boulder, and Paint happily added it to the rest.

“I wonder if there are any other bushes like that,” she said, standing with the bag and studying the trees.

“We shouldn’t go far,” I reminded her. “Gotta stay in screaming range.”

“Sure, sure,” Paint said. “Just a quick look over this way. I think those plants grow near the beach, and I hear waves.”

Remembering Kavlae’s description of the landing pad as being “within dancing distance of the sea,” I put more attention toward the ambient sounds. That wasn’t all windblown foliage after all.

Paint was already disappearing into more bushes, so I hurried after, not wanting to lose track of her. “Slow down! I’m sure they’re not going anywhere.”

“Yes, but they’re so beautiful!” she said from somewhere ahead. “There are whole worlds in that smell. Don’t you think so?”

“It’s okay, I guess.”

“Okay?? It’s gorgeous! I want to decorate my room with them, and smell these every day! You really don’t think it’s that big a deal?” Paint sounded insulted.

“I think my nose just works a little differently from yours,” I said gently. “I’m sure they’re very nice.”

Paint huffed, pushing through the leaves harder and muttering something uncomplimentary about a nose that couldn’t smell beauty.

I had to laugh. “There are plenty of good smells out there,” I said. “And I don’t need my nose for beauty; I have my eyes for that.”

“Really,” Paint grumbled. “If you can’t appreciate this, then forgive my doubts.” She was still grumping about loveliness and the ability to sense it when she shoved through the last of the bushes. “Well, there’s the beach,” she said. “No trees, crackle it. Let’s go back.”

I ducked under a leafy branch to join her just as she turned to go. The view stopped me in my tracks.

Blue waves crashed against a beach made of glittering gemstones, sprawling as far as the eye could see in either direction. Every color under the sun, fist-sized and head-sized and a fine shimmering sand, washed bright by the waves. I could swear that native birds somewhere were singing a dramatic crescendo of a symphony, though maybe that was just in my head.

“Paint,” I said, not moving. “Can I borrow your bag? I’ll carry it back for you.”

~~~

Further adventures in backstory for this book. More to come!

[sephirthoughts]

Hi! I hope you had a good day today.

For the ask game, what are your thoughts on 5 and 9 for Sephiroth?

I did, thank you! I hope you had a good day, too!

ON TO THE BURNING QUESTIONS

5. Sephiroth is such a wonderful layer-cake of pathologies, it's so fun to dissect the impacts on his personality. He is autistic-spectrum, hyper-intelligent, alienated, deeply insecure, and feels he has no 'place in the world'. Despite his insistence, under Jenova's influence, that he's the chosen one and meant to rule the world, he has rock-bottom self-esteem and almost no sense of self. He knows he's different but he has no idea who he is. Add being raised in a lab, horribly abused, and treated like a weapon rather than a person his whole life, and there's not a lot of Sephiroth left.

This would affect his living space in that it'd be generic, impersonal, highly functional, basically empty, serving its purpose as a place to rest, and nothing else. Has place to lie down, has place to shower, has place to dress=meets criteria. I doubt he'd notice if there were even blankets on the bed. It's a Sephiroth storage container, more than a living space. Which is terribly sad and now I am sad. BOOOO ME

Whether he's messy or not is another question. He honestly strikes me as someone who hates disorder if he ever thinks about it. The problem is, he does not think about it. He has executive function issues (see: his bout of manic hyperfocus in the archives, where he had books just strewn everywhere and didn't eat or sleep or bathe for days), and is generally unaware of anything pertaining to his own self-care, including messiness/dirtiness, unless they become a nuisance that disrupts his current fixation.

When he was being raised in the lab, he was a child, so there were people who cleaned, cooked, washed his clothing, etc., and in SOLDIER they definitely had people to take care of those kind of domestic things, so they could focus on training. Hence, he never learned to clean up after himself.

All of this wouldn't matter much, in a living situation with custodial services, but if left to his own devices, his combined lack of awareness, neglect of his own needs, and inexperience with such things would create a perfect storm. He'd forget to take the garbage out, never pick up after himself, not do the dishes, have takeout boxes everywhere, and have no idea that dusting, mopping, vacuuming, etc. even exist as concepts. I think his living space would be kind of awful. But he wouldn't notice.

That is, until Angeal comes over, has seven simultaneous brain aneurysms, leaves and returns with Zack and cleaning supplies, and they spend the next ten hours deep-cleaning the place, while Sephiroth insists it's not that bad.

9. This accords so nicely with number 5! Because he'd be a terrible roommate.

-He'd be quiet, courteous, and never have parties or eat your food, but he'd leave stupid long silver hairs all over everything (the less said about the bathroom shower drain the better), never clean up after himself, and act confused when asked to do so.

-He is definitely the type to always be forgetting his house key. Like, he may as well not have one.

-He leaves that stupid, ultra-sharp, nine-foot-long sword just LYING AROUND WHEREVER. Someone is going to lose a foot.

-He thinks he's a great cook and likes to share his talent with people, and he's too sweetly sincere and excited about it, so you can't bear to break his heart, and you wind up gritting your teeth and smiling through a plate of sticky, pasty, mushy pasta, with sauce made from frankly baffling ingredients (you put walnuts in the marinara? ohhhh...how…interesting. is this an anchovy?).

-He casually says absolutely horrible, emotionally devastating things, without realizing they're horrible. Example:

person: my mom was so forgetful, she always used to burn the garlic bread and she'd mix up my brother's lunch box and mine half the time

sephiroth: haha yeah, i know what you mean. on several occasions, Hojo forgot to send someone to change my IV, when he left me strapped to an exam table in the basement lab for multiple days, and i nearly died of dehydration and malnutrition

person:

sephiroth: parents, right?

-Lastly, Sephiroth absolutely never wears a shirt and in fact doesn't even own one. This is not an annoying habit, this is the habit that makes all the other ones worth putting up with.

[danatyswritingblog]

Flirting

Fandom: Urusei Yatsura All stars

Pairing: Atalum

Post canon : Newlyweds

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.–.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- 

Lum walked slowly through the streets of Tomobiki, carrying the bag of groceries she had bought for dinner.

I wonder what my darling will cook when he arrives?

Her husband's cooking had improved quite a bit over the past few years, and even though she had made significant progress in cooking earthling food as well, they both cooked. Monday, Friday, and Sunday was her turn, and Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday was his.

Sunday was the day they both cooked together.

"Hehehehehehehe" Her smile and the sweet but small laugh of the young alien girl made the hearts of the passers-by fall in love.

And who could not see the young girl with eyes of love when she had the atmosphere of the most tender and mature infatuation embracing her? Many say a woman in love becomes attractive to those who desire it.

They wanted to approach her, they wanted to conquer her, so that those flushed cheeks would be the result of their actions, so that this act of fine tenderness would be the answer to their flirtations.

But they dared not, the ring on her hand was a sign that she was married and happy, to the agony of those lovers of forbidden romance.

Dreamers dared to ignore the ring on her hand and began to approach her to show her that they were a better prospect than the guy with her, the one she was married to.

The girl closed her eyes, lost in her romantic thoughts, oblivious to the danger lurking. Only one of her victims dared to approach her, the bravest one.

"How can you be so distracted, Lum?" A man's voice broke the dreamy effect of the other boys. They noticed for the first time how a brown-haired, walnut-eyed man approached the beautiful girl with familiarity, "You should be careful, a car or a motorcycle might pass by, you might hurt yourself by being stupidly distracted"

How dare that young man have the nerve to talk to her like that? What was he to her? A friend of hers, perhaps?

"Darling…" The girl blushed as he gave her a tender, playful smile as he approached her. The surrounding men screamed internally with envy at that endearment nickname used towards him.

"Were you thinking of me?" His tone was clearly teasing, but listeners who were not drunk on the girl's beauty and who knew the boy, could clearly hear that his voice was soft and honeyed.

"I was thinking about what were you cooking today! I thought of that!" the girl turned around, completely blushing. She tried to hide how nervous she was thanks to seeing how handsome he looked in the sunlight.

I can't tell him how happy it makes me to think of us cooking together! In our house and how much I miss seeing him! He wouldn't let me live it down!

Years ago, Lum might have shouted it to the four winds, only to be met with his supposedly adolescent indifference, but now that would be dangerous because she knew he wouldn't hesitate to show her how happy it made him to hear it in the form of hugs, kisses and caresses full of love that electrocuted her skin.

In the past, there was that Ataru Moroboshi who flirted with girls because of his love for the chase and did not like to admit what he really felt.

Since their last race together, something began to change in him, he began to be more open and show more of his feelings, to the point of becoming a completely different person than the one the citizens of Tomobiki had seen. His loyalty and love for Lum was unquestionable, there was no doubt about that, but for him to express it so openly in recent years was overwhelming.

And truth be told, it was Ataru Moroboshi himself who was most surprised by his change. No matter how much he tried to continue the old habit of chasing girls when he knew that Lum was chasing him or knew about the situation, he just didn't want to do it anymore.

It took Ataru years to understand the reason for such an abrupt change in his routine, a change he could easily accept after he had left that high school boy mentality behind.

He could no longer take Lum's love for granted, she could not love him forever with all his crazy high school desires, after all, she was ready to forget all their moments together through technology so as not to be hurt anymore by his stupid immaturity.

At first, it was hard for him to admit that because of his harem desires, his future with her would be entirely damaged and eliminated. The illusion of this mischievous young man was completely shattered when he saw that he would lose Lum forever in exchange for fulfilling his illusion.

In which he became the most despicable, humiliating person who dared to use Lum at his convenience, exploiting the only true love he ever had just to fulfill a stupid dream. At the end, his future self felt only emptiness and regret without her.

He would never forget the satisfaction of knocking out the asshole version of his future self.

That's when he realized that she was irreplaceable for him, that no matter if he had a harem in the future, without her, he would become a human trash who wouldn't understand his mistakes and would only cry because he knew that he had lost the most valuable thing in his life.

But he didn't change right away, it was a very slow process thanks to his pride and stubbornness. Something that almost cost him dearly in his last race with her and after he caught her in his arms, at that moment was when it really started, his maturation process.

Back then he didn't see it as maturing, simply seeing it as changing priorities, but now, as a young married adult, he could admit that it was a process in which he left behind those impossible illusions one has as a teenager or child and moved forward to have a real future with Lum.

The one he had tried to save as a teenager.

"Well, Miss Moroboshi. Allow me to escort you to the comfort of your home, your husband would be worried if he knew the dangers lurking around here" His smile was gallant as he offered her his hand, even though his tone sounded threatening to the lovers of the unwanted.

"Thank you," Lum Moroboshi smiled shyly as she accepted him,still blushing hard, much to everyone's pain and dissatisfaction.

"I'm jealous of your husband, you know?" Ataru commented as he brought his hand closer to the one he was holding and brought it to his lips, kissing his wife's palm, "A woman as beautiful as you, can't be from this planet."

The young girl couldn't say anything, she still wasn't used to his serious flirtation, and only her cheeks showed the effect of his words by blushing even more.

Ataru gave her a smile of complete happiness. He noted that one of the few advantages of being so cold to her when he was young was that he could now surprise her with his best flirtatious phrases.

Which were completely honest.

After all, people would still ask him now, how could he live so calmly and happy with her, knowing how he acted when he was a teenager? His flirty actions towards others when he had her at his side? How was he not ashamed of his past?

And he always answered them.

"My past is something I am not proud of at all, but I have to admit that because of it I was able to get something good out of my life that I still have and will continue to have, my relationship with Lum. I wouldn't have met her or grown to love her so much if I hadn't known her at that time and known that she accepted me with all my mistakes. ….. How could I not realize that I wanted to grow up and stay with her after everything we went through?"

In the end, everyone was surprised by his words, far away was the teenager with a mocking tone, looking for excitement in other women. Now there was only a young adult who was completely in love with his wife, and although he was not proud of his past, he accepted it and saw it in a positive light.

The envious wanted to see doubt and even guilt in this confession, something that would rob him of the happiness he radiated in the present, if only for a few moments, but they never got it. They and the evil tongues gnashed their teeth when they saw that the unluckiest boy in Tomobiki had become a respectable and even handsome young man. All the old ladies who had once whispered to Mrs. Moroboshi about the unhappy future that awaited the heir of the Moroboshi family name, did not have the face to speak to Mrs. Moroboshi now, for that would be to admit that their whispers about his future were wrong in the end.

As it should be

Ataru intertwined his fingers with Lum's as he helped her carry the shopping bag, marking the territory. Proving to those idiots that Lum was his to love, cherish and protect.

Lum, the girl who brought love, happiness, and luck into his life.

[butcherlarry]

Clark Kent Head Canons-Animal Rescue Edition

During my lunch break yesterday, I saw this post about how skunks are only native in the Americas and how someone had to tackle their international college roommate from messing with a skunk when they saw one for the first time. As I spent time in the cooler at work, the idea fermented inside my head of Clark doing the same thing with Kara when she first sees any Earth animal. He knows she's indestructible, but it still gives him a heart attack when he sees her try to befriend a grizzly bear. He also doesn't want to get stinky when she DOES see a skunk. Maybe he has a childhood memory of running into one when he was younger, and getting a tomato juice bath was no fun. Although, I don't think the tomato juice bath actually works, it only gets rid of some of the smell and covers it up with the tomato smell. RIP baby Clark, covered in tomato juice, his super smell was probably going crazy that day.

As I pondered this idea more, I figured the Supers would be fantastic animal handlers, especially when it comes to wildlife rescue (I have been watching too much Urban Rescue Ranch and raptor/bird rescue/rehab videos on YouTube, so that's been on my brain). It would be easy for them to spot and catch whatever animal they've been called out to rescue (super hearing and super vision would come in handy for that). And when taking care of the animals, they would be able to pick up easily on when the animal was stressing out. Plus, x-ray vision to see if there are any broken bones or other injuries! They would also never have to worry about being harmed by the frightened animals since they are pretty much indestructible.

I shouted this idea at the lovely @januariat, and was delighted to find out from them that this is close to being canon in the comics, Clark has a rescue for alien animals in his Fortress of Solitude:

(Thank you for the comic panel evidence januariat!!)

This got my brain going AGAIN. If you are a regular viewer of the Urban Rescue Ranch videos, you know that Ben (the guy who runs the rescue) has a murderous rhea named Kevin. It pleases me to no end to think that Clark also has a murderous alien animal in his FoS rescue. He named them "Lex" though.

This thought awoken another memory in me of a post I read, but this time about a guy who is a husband to a crane, meaning that he works in the rescue/conservation group that's trying to increase this crane species low population. This one female crane (named Walnut) hates all her male crane suitors (the post said that she killed 5 of them. But that might be an exaggeration), but she will do a mating dance with this one human guy instead. So essentially, this guy is "married" to this female crane. They do the mating dance and he'll artificially inseminate her so she can lay eggs. I enjoy the thought that Clark also has a rare female alien animal that he's trying to increase the population of, but the alien animal hates all the males he brings of that species and only does a mating dance she sees Clark. Clark names that one "Bruce" (of course).

Anyway, there needs to be more of this content in the world, whether it's in the DC universe or an AU. Now that I think about it, that would be a cute meet cute for smol Superbat (Damian and Jon). Damian brings in an injured animal for Jon to rehabilitate, and it all builds up from there. Up to you if it's no capes/powers, with capes/powers, an alien animal, or earth animal. I just think it's a cute idea :D

Feel free to add any ideas you have about the Supers and them rescuing animals! I would love to hear them!

[anti-socialexperiment]

I've come to make an announcement: The Paddler's a bitch-ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking husband. That's right. He took his alien fuckin' ping pong dick out and he pissed on my FUCKING husband, and he said his dick was THIS BIG, and I said that's disgusting. So I'm making a callout post on my Tweet-da-dit-da-DA.com. Paddler, you got a small dick. It's the size of this walnut except WAY smaller. And guess what? Here's what my dong looks like. That's right, baby. I have no dong, I got my bottom surgery, which means I'm better than you. He fucked my husband, so guess what, I'm gonna fuck rhythm heaven. That's right, this is what you get! My SUPER LASER PISS! Except I'm not gonna piss on rhythm heaven. I'm gonna go higher. I'm pissing on the MOOOON! How do you like that, SPACE GRAMPS? I PISSED ON THE MOON, YOU IDIOT! You have twenty-three hours before the piss DROPLETS hit the fucking earth, now get out of my fucking sight before I piss on you too!

[beesmygod]

cant stop thinking about the sopranos alien post bc i think paulie walnuts should have had b plots where he just encountered endless supernatural phenomena. the ep where he get scared by the ghost and throws a chair at it is so good

[xaghiofneon]

Me and my partners watched the first three episodes of classic tokusatsu series Ultra Q, and I figured I can't sleep so I'm posting my thoughts, the equivalent of screaming into the void since my blog here has nobody who reads it.

If you don't know, Ultra Q is a Japanese show made by Tsuburaya Productions and aired in 1966, and was one of the earliest examples of Toho style kaiju on the small screen. It began the Ultraman franchise, but there's no Ultraman here. Each episode focuses on a different kaiju, alien, or weird event, kind of like Twilight Zone or Outer Limits. It's also notable for using old suits from Toho kaiju films since Tsuburaya was able to get them from Toho. The main protagonists are two pilots and a reporter lady, who always investigate the strange events, and they're okay protags, they don't get much depth but the show isn't really about them, more the monsters and paranormal stuff that happens. Speaking of, let's talk about the episodes we watched and my thoughts. I'm not giving the episodes any score, I'm just gonna ramble.

Episode 1 - "Defeat Gomess!"

'Run! It's Godzilla!' 'It looks like Godzilla, but due to copyright laws, it's not.' 'Still, we should run like it is Godzilla!' 'Though it isn't. AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!'

The first episode actually has two kaiju. Gomess, pictured above, a prehistoric creature made from pieces of old Godzilla suits, and Litra, a bird creature made from old Rodan props. Both of them are dug up by miners, and are mortal enemies. Litra is still an egg when its found, but Gomess is fully grown and causes a cave in while the main pilot and reporter are in the mine it was found in. The comic relief pilot and a kid who works at the mine find an ancient legend about how they're destined to fight, and the kid wakes Litra up with heat. The fight is short and not impressive by today's standards but it's not boring to look at. Litra jabs Gomess in the eye and shoots acid at him which kills him, but then Litra dies herself, because of the acid? I think? They don't explain why, they just end the episode, since these are the episodes are the usual TV length, about 20 minutes. Gomess is a decent kaiju design, Litra is a little more derpy looking, but it just adds to the charm for me. Overall, it's a solid start to the series. For the time, seeing movie level special effects was mind blowing, and while it's in black and white and not as impressive as modern effects or CG, it's very fun and charming now, especially since CG is so prevalent, seeing suits lumbering around is fun.

Episode 2 - "Goro and Goroh"

'Mmm... Monkey...'

This one is very simple, and I liked it quite a bit. A monkey near a research facility consumed a bunch of walnuts laced with a chemical that made him grow giant. He then befriended the facility's custodian Goro, a deaf and mute man who took food from nearby farms and stores to feed him. Also milk. Goroh the Monkey loves milk. When Goro gets arrested for stealing, Goroh gets mad and goes on a rampage, and they have Goro feed him milk laced with sleeping pills to make him fall asleep. The reporter had just got back from an island also with large monkeys as well, and they decide to take him there, and Goro is sad. Goroh the Monkey was brought to life with a modified King Kong suit, and I just like monkeys. Simple, nice, monke.

Episode 3 - "The Gift From Space"

'Now, I'm not saying it was aliens... but it was aliens.'

The last episode we watched, and the first alien kaiju, a giant slug named Namegon. The protags find a UFO, which turns out to be a Mars probe thought destroyed, containing two tiny gold marbles. They're kept in a vault, but stolen by bank robbers, who wants to sell it. When one of the bank robbers tries to force the comic relief pilot to take him to a meet up on an island, he drops the second gold marble in a fight. Comic relief pilot then finds it and makes it into a necklace for the reporter. The bank robber, having found a different way to the island, drops the gold marble into hot water, and the marble expands into an egg, revealing Namegon. Namegon itself looks fine, it's just a big slug that shoots lasers. It's weakness is a little lame, though. When the protags and the police go to the island, Namegon chases them, falls into the ocean, and melts because of the saltwater. The second egg, still around the reporters neck, accidentally gets woken up too at the end, after a discussion of why the aliens who sent the probe back sent monster eggs with them, and the episode ends as they prepare the saltwater. The episode also introduces an old professor who hangs out with the protags and exposits. Not a bad episode, the weakness of Namegon isn't too disappointing, and we never see the aliens who sent the probe back, so our brains can fill in the gap.

Ultra Q is pretty fun so far. We're trying to watch at least three episodes a week, and I got my partners to agree to watch the Ultra Series with me. Give it a watch yourself if you haven't, it's fun kaiju stuff.