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winterzsurprise · 1 year

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Thirty Minutes || Miguel O'hara

Pairing: Miguel O'hara x F!reader

Summary: After convincing Miguel to take a break from working, he generously granted you thirty minutes with him and you know how you'd spend it.

Words: 1.7k

Tags: NOT BETA READ, smut, rough sex, vaginal fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasm, squirting, big dick Miguel, standing sex, deep penetration, fang play, office sex (i guess?)

This is so rushed but he just do things to me. He breathes and I start giggling and twirling my hair. I am so feral for him I'm sorry (not sorry). I swear I'll bring more flavor next time :''DD

forgor to note that the glasses part is heavily inspired by that one scene from a kdrama named "Business Proposal".

hermosa - beautiful || cariño - honey || mi vida - my life || mi amor - my love

Being the leader of the inter-dimensional spider hub, it's expected for Miguel to be drowning with tasks and reports to analyze at any time of day. You accepted that fact when you started dating him on the down low.

You didn't care that he's busy since your time is also taken by fighting crimes and eventual missions. Plus, at the end of the day, the make up sex is godly.

But you find it hard to tolerate it when days and nights blurs without him leaving his office unless he needs to eat and use the bathroom.

Apparently, Jessica has held a few interventions for him with Peter B. and it failed every time. Miguel threw them out and threatened to shut Layla down if she didn't block their access to his office.

Passing by you in the lobby after another mission, Peter B. asked you with a stern look while Mayday babbled, mirroring the seriousness of her dad.

"Please do anything to get him to leave his office. I beg of you."

So after dinner where there's less activities and presence in the hub, you head straight to his office with barely a plan in mind. Clearly confident you'd make the man rest, even for fifteen minutes.

The hatch parts open and you are met by the image of him reading out a report in formal clothing and square glasses, sitting at the edge of the platform. He briefly looked up from the report before returning back to his task.

"Let me guess, Peter sent you here?"

"I heard they've already hosted a couple of interventions and rallies."

Miguel huffed, pitching the bridge of his nose. "Such a waste of time, they could have been in their home world watching over their cities."

"Come on, you know that they're just concerned about you."

"And you're here because you're also concerned?"

You laughed, webbing onto the ceiling and pulling yourself up to land beside him. “Are you really going to act this way, Miguel?”

Miguel didn’t respond, focusing on reading on the report about the paper Doc Ock variant found in Earth 2199 written by the Victorian Spider-Man. You settled on sitting next to him in silence after retracting your suit back.

His subtle glances on your skin tight shorts didn't go unnoticed but you ignored it in favor of

You took the time to observe the man whose bulky body is covered in a simple dress shirt with three buttons down and black pants that complemented the thickness of his thighs. The square glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose only added more flavor to his attire.

He's criminally dashing.

After being away for days to catch an anomaly and crime fighting in your own world, you couldn't ignore the simmering desire bubbling in your abdomen.

How could you not be when your darling looks like a five star Michelin meal in front of you?

Your attention seemed to bother Miguel, who let out a defeated sigh. “Alright, what do you want?”

“I just want to spend time with you, is that so bad?”

Miguel deadpanned at you, seemingly disturbed by the thought before putting the reports down and turning to face you fully with his arms crossed. His eyes scanned your form up and down, letting his head fall back before groaning.

“Alright, I’ll bite. You got thirty minutes.”

You grinned. "That's all I need."

He raised an eyebrow at that but before he could question it, you captured his lips with yours. As if the kiss was a droplet on the water, the ripples caused by the taste of his lips awakened the lust simmering in the pit of your stomach.

His hands found your hips and pulled you close until you rediscovered your rightful seat on his thighs. Rough and calloused touch sneaked past your top and crawled up to the swell of your breast.

Miguel pulled away, removing his glasses—quite erotically—before diving back to lose himself in your lips.

"Is this what you plan on using your thirty minutes for?"

"You know it'll last longer than thirty."

"I doubt that."

His words sent jolts of pleasure down your spine, igniting your nerve endings alight.

"Are you really going to fuck me in your office, boss?"

"Don't 'boss' me, hermosa and you know I'd spread you open no matter the location."

His hands unclasped the front of your bras and spared no time in covering your flesh with his. The rough texture of his palm rubbing against your firm nipples got you moaning, hips twisting in his thighs desperate for stimulation.

Pulling away, Miguel's lips fell to your throat, his tongue roamed the skin above your heartbeat that rose when his razor sharp teeth grazed your flesh, threatening to pierce. With the soft suckles on your neck and the rough massage on your mounds, you were a moaning mess, tugging helplessly on his hair and grinding pathetically on him.

"You're so desperate for me, mi amor. Did you miss me that much?"

"Shut up and just touch me, please."

He groaned, deep. "You sound so adorable when you beg, baby."

He quickly made work of your shirt, tossing it along with your bra before moving to tugging your shorts off. Your hands busies itself with his dress pants, desperate to feel the heat of his skin against your own and to feel the curve of his girth once more.

It didn't take long before you're both naked and bare to anyone who dares enter his chambers. A shrill excitement electrifies your skin at the thought of being caught, the riskiness of being discovered and seen being devoured by the man you love oddly arouses you further.

Though you're sure with how possessive he is, Miguel has already shut the gates to anyone till he's done with you.

But it was an interesting thought to have while his three of his fingers savagely thrusts in and out of your hole, the other hand grounding your hips made it impossible to escape the onslaught of pleasure after pleasure striking your nerves down, you screamed, clawing at his broad back as he fingered you open.

Miguel grunts. "Scream louder for me, mi vida. I want to hear how good I make you feel."

His thumb found your clit and started drawing figures of eight on them, the knot in your abdomen twists tighter as you climb towards your orgasm. There's a wet squelch building up to bounce in the chamber and you flush red yet Miguel took it as a compliment, increasing his speed and curling three fingers upwards more.

Your legs shook violently from where they stood beside his wide thighs before the knot unfurled and you came with a shout, trembling pathetically in his hold. The sudden onslaught of serene euphoria makes you light-headed and you rest your forehead on his shoulder.

He pulled away, choosing to be merciful and let your shaking figure settle down before continuing.

"You didn't squirt? What a shame."

"F-fuck you."

"Don't lie, cariño." There's a grin in his voice as he pulls you flush to him. "I know you like it when I leave you writhing pathetically."

Not sparing any second, he stands up and you wrap your arms around his neck, already sensing his plan as he reaches down to line the tip of dick with your sopping heat. The sensation of his girth so near your entrance re-igniting the suffocating arousal and desire in your body.

"And god, do I miss seeing you cock-drunk and shaking."

Plunging in deep, your mouth falls and you scream. The hilt of his girth grazing your uterus along with the burn of the stretch sparking every nerve endings alight. The familiar feeling of his cock reminding your hole who it belongs to made you feel dizzy, it was too much but it feels so good.

His thrusts are unforgiving, rattling your soul every time his hips collide with yours, leaving you breathless and moaning unintelligible words. His fangs digs into the crook of your neck as he pants and groans into your skin.

The sensation of your pebbled nipples rubbing against his chest sends electric shocks down your spine, adding onto your quick climb to your high.

You could barely make out the Spanish words he's whispering like a prayer, mind fogged with nothing but the pure nirvana he was handing to you.

"Fuck, you feel so good for me. Always so sweet and tight for me, yeah?"

"Yes yes yes…!"

One of his hands grabbed hold of your jaw, forcing you to meet his dark red eyes. "You're not leaving this fucking room until I'm done with you, understand?"

You nod vigorously, wanting nothing but to please him enough to reward you with another orgasm. His lips found your neck once more, nibbling on your skin and teasingly dragging his fangs in his conquest to mark you, which shook you from your stupor, pushing his head away.

"No-not too much. It'll show."

Miguel's eyebrow raised, unfazed. "And?"

"T-they'll find out."

He scoffed. "I don't fucking care. Let them know who fuck you well and bare."

Angling his hips, he grazes a spot and you cry before the next plunge hits it, your legs began to shake around him with every thrust. Tears blurred your vision as pleasure invaded your very being, it didn't take long before you burst in his arms, your arousal painting his clenched stomach.

"That's it. Give it to me."

Ramping his speed, you howled. Pain started to mix with euphoria but you couldn't stop, it's not enough to satiate your famished soul.

"F-fuck…! I-I don't think I can a-anymore."

You squealed at the sharp stinging pain left by his hand on your clit. "You will and I'll make sure of it."

Palming your bead more gently than his savage thrusts, he tightened the coil in your stomach tighter and tighter until it exploded and splattered once more unto his glistening abs, legs writhing helplessly in the air.

With the unbearable tightness of your velvet walls around his dick, Miguel soon followed. Hot liquid arousal painting your insides white with every pulse of his dick. You groaned at the familiar feeling of fullness before wincing at the pain of overstimulation.

Slapping his back, you whined. "I'm so fucking sore and you'll make me walk out by myself. How fucking cruel of you."

Miguel grumbled, catching his breath as he sat you both down on the floor.

"Who said you're leaving, cariño?"

#miguel o'hara x reader one shot #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara imagine #spiderman smut #spiderman fics #marvel smut #marvel fics

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letsdeclutter · 1 year

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Master List of Decluttering Resources

Backup of the list from r/declutter recommendations, due to planned mid-June 2023 Reddit Blackout in protest of plans to charge exorbitant fees for API access.

Some well-established decluttering gurus have omnimedia empires covering YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, multiple books, TV shows, a web site, and more. For these titans of tidying, the list shows whichever one to three resources are most recommended. These resources intentionally showcase a variety of perspectives, so if you dislike one, scan the list for something different.

YouTubers and Podcasts

A to Zen Life. A recovering “emotional hoarder” shares her extreme decluttering journey, including tips and new habits. https://www.youtube.com/@AtoZenLife

The Art of Decluttering. Includes an entire series on decluttering with ADHD, plus interviews with ordinary people who are decluttering. (Australian) https://www.theartofdecluttering.com.au/podcast/

But First, Coffee. Katie in Conneticut intersperses decluttering, organizing, and home maintenance hacks with her experiences with motherhood. https://www.youtube.com/@ButFirstCoffee

Clean My Space. Over 500 videos on cleaning and organizing, dividing the topic into small bites. https://www.youtube.com/@cleanmyspace

Clean with Me. The podcast that talks you through cleaning your house. https://cleanwithmepodcast.com/

Clutterbug. Focus is on organizing and organizational style. She also talks with popular decluttering experts. https://clutterbug.me/podcast

Curious Freedom. Professional organizers explore decluttering issues you may be curious about, from tips to broad minimalism, to smart shopping. (Australian) https://curiousfreedom.com.au/podcast/

The Declutter Hub. Professional organizers Ingrid and Lesley offer a mix of quick-and-easy tips, professional organizing secrets, and approaches to de-hoarding. https://declutterhub.com/the-podcast/

A Hoarder’s Heart. A recovering hoarder shares her journey to a better life, with lots of material on decluttering with ADHD and struggling with the craft stash. https://www.youtube.com/@ahoardersheart

Messy Minimalist. Mom-blogger-style journey from hoarder to minimalist, with challenges and adventures in every room and on topics like decision fatigue. Appears to have taken a break after 2022. https://www.youtube.com/@MessyMinimalist/

The Minimal Mom. How-tos for decluttering, deciding how many items are enough, and even thrifting with a minimalist mindset. https://www.youtube.com/@TheMinimalMom

The Minimalists. Netflix stars Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus discuss ways to live more meaningfully with less stuff. Their topics range widely into lifestyle issues such as diet, travel, personal finance, and chronic illness; this rec is not an endorsement of everything they have to say on those issues. https://www.theminimalists.com/podcast/

My Great Challenge. “Declutter with me” videos and cleaning routines. https://www.youtube.com/@mygreatchallenge

Organize 365. Covers an extensive binder-based organization system, intended to organize people who need a lot of paperwork or have a complicated family. https://organize365.com/podcast/

Simply This Life. Candice exudes enthusiasm along with cleaning and decluttering hacks. https://www.youtube.com/@FancyThatwithCandice

A Slob Comes Clean. Dana K. White talks about her experiences with and insights into decluttering. Her emphasis is on managing your home and fitting what you value into your space. https://www.aslobcomesclean.com/podcasts/

Small Changes. Sarah walks you through minimalist cleaning routines and debunks myths about decluttering. https://www.youtube.com/@SmallChanges

Spark Joy. KonMari consultants Karin Sochi and Kristyn Ivey host speakers on issues related to bringing greater joy into your life, from meditation to shopping habits to productivity and mindfulness. Seems to end with 2020. https://www.sparkjoypodcast.com/episodes

Struggle Care. Therapist KC Davis focuses here on self-care and issues that can be barriers to decluttering, such as ADHD, depression, perfectionism, and having limited spoons. https://www.strugglecare.com/podcast-rss

Instagram

clutterbug_me. Clutterbug content emphasizing organizing and cleaning inspo. https://www.instagram.com/clutterbug_me/?hl=en

find_yourgold. Professional organizer with minimalist home shares her process and inspiration. https://www.instagram.com/find_yourgold/

the_organized_mum. Tips on not letting your house get away from you, but also not letting it bully you. https://www.instagram.com/the_organised_mum/

simplyspaced. Style inspo and organizing tips in a very orderly, soothing home, plus before-and-afters. https://www.instagram.com/simplyspaced/

aslobcomesclean. Dana K. White shows you decluttering tips and talks about why organizing is not decluttering. https://www.instagram.com/aslobcomesclean/

strugglecare. Short items from her mission to help people remove barriers to treating themselves right (including clutter). https://www.instagram.com/strugglecare/

@taramstewart. Organizing and donating tips. https://www.instagram.com/taramstewart/

Books

Links are to Goodreads so you can evaluate reviews for yourself.

The Afrominimalist’s Guide to Living with Less (Christine Platt). Radical revisioning of minimalism, incorporating social justice issues and the experience of marginalized peoples. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/55711709-the-afrominimalist-s-guide-to-living-with-less

Clear the Clutter, Find Happiness! (Donna Smallin). Cute little book of short tips for decluttering. Fun if you want a daily inspiration to tackle a new task.

Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui (Karen Kingston). Uses westernized feng shui principles as a guide to decluttering and organizing. Reviews suggest this one is polarizing. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27071482-clear-your-clutter-with-feng-shui

Clutter Busting: Letting Go of What’s Holding You Back (Brooks Palmer). Motivational approach looking at reasons for clutter, such as fear of change or trying to live a fantasy self. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6262598-clutter-busting

The Clutter Cure (Juli Culbertson). Focuses on assessing emotional attachments, with lots of exercises to help think through what objects are serving your current needs. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/879650.The_Clutter_Cure

Clutter’s Last Stand (Don Aslett). Fast-paced and humorous approach to reducing clutter. Aslett is one of the earliest organizing and cleaning gurus, and any of his decluttering or cleaning books are worth a read. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11610.Clutter_s_Last_Stand

Cozy Minimalist Home (Myquillyn Smith). Primarily a decorating guide, focused on achieving a cozy minimalist home that honors your specific priorities (e.g., not stark white with one chair and an artfully placed rock). https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/38915707-cozy-minimalist-home

Decluttering at the Speed of Life (Dana K. White). A decluttering approach that isn’t “all or nothing” but is geared to gradual progress. (The rest of White’s books are also worth a read.) https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35540769-decluttering-at-the-speed-of-life

The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning (Margareta Magnusson). A gentle nudge toward decluttering so your heirs aren’t overwhelmed and housekeeping in old age is less demanding. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35297297-the-gentle-art-of-swedish-death-cleaning

Goodbye Things (Fumio Sasaki). One man’s journey toward minimalism and personal growth. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/30231806-goodbye-things

It’s All Too Much (Peter Walsh). Organizer from TLC’s Clean Sweep explores frustrations related to clutter and organizing, and how to resolve them. He also has a Facebook with decluttering challenges. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/34266.It_s_All_Too_Much

The Joy of Less (Francine Jay). Thoughts on simple living and achieving a minimalist lifestyle. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/8576972-the-joy-of-less-a-minimalist-living-guide

The Hoarder in You (Robin Zasio). Focuses on the psychological aspects of over-attachment to stuff, including tips on dealing with hoarding relatives. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11452567-the-hoarder-in-you

How to Keep House While Drowning (KC Davis). Subtitled “a gentle approach to cleaning and organizing,” this book emphasizes overcoming shame and perfectionism, handling mental health issues, and creating a home that is a safe and kind place. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/60139504-how-to-keep-house-while-drowning

Keep the Memories, Lose the Stuff (Matt Paxton). Extreme cleaner Paxton shares his process for decluttering sentimental items when it’s time to downsize or when dealing with a deceased person’s estate. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/58933265-keep-the-memories-lose-the-stuff

The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up (Marie Kondo). The now-famous Kon-Mari approach emphasizes deciding what “sparks joy” in your life. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22318578-the-life-changing-magic-of-tidying-up

The Minimalist Home (Joshua Becker). Room-by-room approach to reducing clutter and achieving a more peaceful lifestyle. Reviews note a conservative evangelical slant to his material. Has many decluttering-related best sellers, including Clutter Free With Kids, https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39810030-the-minimalist-home

Never Too Busy to Cure Clutter (Erin Rooney Doland). Checklists of tasks sorted by room and by “30 seconds,” “1 minute,” etc. Many are geared more to developing maintenance routines than to actual clutter removal. Her Unclutter Your Life in One Week also gets recommended. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/25817627-never-too-busy-to-cure-clutter

Organizing from the Inside Out (Julia Morgenstern). Addresses emotional barriers to organizing, on the way to providing tips and solutions. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/220713.Organizing_from_the_Inside_Out

Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD (Suzanne C. Pinsky). Tips are intended to be aimed at people with ADHD. Judging from reviews, this book gets both very strong positive responses and very strong negative responses. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/19033611-organizing-solutions-for-people-with-adhd

Outer Order, Inner Calm (Gretchen Rubin). Quick read pulling together the Happiness Project author’s thoughts and tips on bringing more joy into the home through orderliness. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39901314-outer-order-inner-calm

Simple Ways to Be More with Less (Courtney Carver). Brief ebook where thinkers on minimalism share ideas and inspiration. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16028018-simple-ways-to-be-more-with-less

Tidy the F*ck Up (Messie Condo). Yes, it’s a parody of KonMari, but it includes actual useful decluttering tips. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45869149-tidy-the-f-ck-up

Unf*ck Your Habitat (Rachel Hoffman). Book developed from the blog, with checklists for routine and emergency cleaning, and an approach geared to students, people with roommates, and people with disabilities. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/39901314-outer-order-inner-calm

The Year of Less (Cait Flanders). Documents a year of low-buy (food, gas, and similar only), lowered consumption, and decluttering, including reactions to crisis. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35488858-the-year-of-less

You Have Too Much Shit (Chris Thomas). Humorous 20-page ebook that’s a kick in the face about consumerism and clutter. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/24322942-you-have-too-much-shit

Zen Habits (Leo Babauta). Book from the Zen Habits blog, discussing decluttering in the context of living a simpler life. One reviewer calls it “a basic get-your-shit-together book.” Babauta has additional related books. https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6056602-zen-habits---handbook-for-life

Web or Blog

30-Day Minimalism Cure. The Minimalists explain the rules and framework for the popular “declutter 1 item the first day, 2 items the second day” challenge. https://www.theminimalists.com/game/

Apartment Therapy Home Cure. Annual (or multiple times a year–it has varied over time) process for decluttering, cleaning, and decorating. Based (increasingly loosely) on founder Maxwell Ryan’s book, Apartment Therapy: The 8-Step Home Cure. Most of the community discussion has moved onto Facebook. https://www.apartmenttherapy.com/features/the-cure-program

Avalanche Declutter Challenge. The one where you declutter 30 items on the first day, 29 on the second, 28 on the third... down to one item on the 30th day of the month. https://wannabeclutterfree.com/avalanche-declutter-challenge

FLylady (Marla Cilley). Daily 15-minute missions, habit-building, slow-cooker recipes, and task lists for the run-up to Christmas. One of the early dominant figures in declutter blogging, kind of what would happen if Pioneer Woman confronted a messy house. She also published a couple books. http://www.flylady.net/

Printable Short-Term Goal List (PopSugar). Printable page for dividing larger goals into smaller goals. Especially useful when you feel so overwhelmed that you need to break things into tiny areas or steps. https://www.popsugar.com/smart-living/photo-gallery/44467993/image/44468176/Printable-Short-Term-Goal-Worksheet/amp

Project 333. Popular fashion challenge to dress with 30 or fewer items for 3 months. Part of a larger minimalism blog. https://bemorewithless.com/project-333/

TV-like

Links are to information on the series, as who's streaming what changes over time.

Hoarders. Long-running US series where a psychologist, a professional organizer, and a junk-hauling crew tackle serious hoards. Not for the squeamish. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoarders_(TV_series) Has a subreddit at r/HoardersTV

Nick Knowles’ Big Clear Out. Most recent series from UK decluttering star: his team takes a family’s belongings to a warehouse to sort, then puts things back room-by-room. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt15267660/

Sort Your Life Out. UK series with Stacey Solomon, in which a disorganized household declutters and reorganizes. https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m00116n4

Tidying Up With Marie Kondo. Reality TV series where Marie Kondo visits U.S. households and guides residents in using her KonMari method. There is a follow-up series, Sparking Joy with Marie Kondo. Originally on Netflix. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tidying_Up_with_Marie_Kondo

#decluttering #declutter

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tabe4 · 12 days

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Hey Prince, what gave you the idea to come up with tabe4? Absolutely adore the blog, these characters have somehow wormed their way into being my favourites HSBFJBDJFBSF

WAAGHH THANK YOU!! just got home so i can answer this~

i actually started the video game askblog concept partly inspired by @pkmn-monochrome , but over on @tobaiblog . the blog was also inspired by a dream i had mooonths ago about a video game character that was sentient, hosted on the dark web who had to do anything people put into chat for them to do

but tobaiblog had a loooot of plot behind it the more i worked on it, and i was already workshopping other ideas and playing with other video game genres that could work as an askblog/command blog. i dont remember the full details that lead to tabe4's concept but i was workshipping different ones for a few months. i initially wanted an RPG or DnD lite kind of game, and had a maze concept with some lore and the idea of askers tryna escape a maze was interesting. but the more i worked on it the more the lore got.. complicated.... and the more i worked on tobaiblog, the more i realised the edited sprites were actually not that easy to work with and keep track of all the files, so i wanted something where i could draw the characters freely. (i considered a dating sim/vn genre but didn't get far with that)

i was playing with the idea of a pet sim game after deciding i might not use the maze one yet, but thought that all the care things that came with those games were too much to keep up with through an ask blog so i was like, well what if i focused on the feeding aspect entirely (since submitting food sounds like fun)?

i knew i wanted some dark themes, and i knew that shock/subversion was a popular thing to do with flash games in like early 2000s, 2010s (like Can Your Pet). i also KNEW people would want to submit weird things that could kill them, so i figured encouraging that kind of experimentation could be entertaining. i also thought drawing their reactions to funny food could break too much tension as well, and it had the potential for comedy on top of the dark themes.

after that i went from there with going with 4 diets for difficulty, and getting help from a friend picking the 4 animals for them, plus the name, and then i planned out each screen. i included a diary because i wanted a way for people to actually communicate with the characters, plus if you had opened it when Icey was alive, it could have been shocking to see text from them there already.

TL;DR: I was inspired by @pkmn-monochrome last year to make a sentient video game character blog + from a dream i had abt said character, then got into the idea of making other video game sentient character blogs, and played with the idea of different genres before picking pet sim and reducing it down to a core mechanic that was simple to comprehend and be creative with. i already wanted the opportunity to do creepypasta esque horror with the game so killing them was a no-brainer there~

#Anonymous #ask mun #ooc #text #long post #and also i made all the screens in like 3 or 4 days i think??#like i spent hooouuurs on them #coulda done more time w them imo but theyre fine #any weirdness can be like oh well it was an old indie game anyways #the personalities were decided to give me something to work with #plus i knew people would treat different ones in different ways and it could create drama between the askers and the characters too #to drive the conflict really

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pintsizebear · 11 months

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A quick guide on diversifying your internet use

Big social media is going to keep being disappointing because their wants and needs don't come anywhere close to aligning with their users wants and needs. EVERY big social media site or app will eventually misalign with its users, because having the entire internet's worth of people in one place is unsustainable for moderation and for financial reasons. It's an unavoidable fate for sites that are supposed to be the hub for everything.

It doesn't have to be that way. Start diversifying the sites you use BEFORE your favorite social media site becomes basically unusable or goes down completely. Take some power away from big tech corporations. Drag your friends into it too, you don't have to explore alone!

Here's a few examples of things you can do:

Join some forums There's forums for basically everything you can think of, from toy collecting, to discussion of specific disabilities, to gardening, to niche roleplay topics, and they've been running for decades so there's immense amounts of knowledge on them. Plus, people tend to be super friendly and welcoming of newbies, so you're likely to make new friends if you post regularly on them. Googling/searching for a topic + "forum"/"discussion board" (like "knitting forum" or "paper mache discussion board") will generally get you what you're looking for. Save your favorites and give them a visit every now and then!

Subscribe to some RSS feeds RSS feeds make it incredibly simple to get updates and news from your favorite websites, including a lot of social media sites! RSS readers + aggregators take the RSS information from your chosen websites (+ tumblrs, twitters, youtube channels, etc) and puts them into an easy to browse format, all in one place. Readers and aggregators are available as browser addons, desktop programs, mobile apps, email subscriptions, embeddable widgets, whatever suits your needs best. Your RSS subscriptions aren't subject to annoying, everchanging, unpredictable algorithms. They'll only show you what you're subscribed to and they'll be in chronological order. Most of them are completely free and have no ads.

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juju-on-that-yeet · 1 year

Text

Unravel (Chapter 16/20)

Work Summary: Antisepticeye has a plan to destroy Darkiplier, steal his power, and take over everything - and he might just succeed. What starts with Yandereplier going missing evolves into a messy web of betrayal and grief, of blood and tears, of old wounds and new faces. However this ends, Ego Inc. will never be the same again. Chapter Summary: Wilford learns about the power Celine holds, and it’s up to him to help her hone it in preparation to use it against Anti. But her power over the void keeps reminding him of what he’s lost - to say nothing of what Celine’s presence makes him feel. Warning: Sexual content

Read on AO3

Enjoy!

If Wilford’s head was swimming before, it’s practically drowning now.

Anti’s attack still weighs on him, especially since the egos Anti killed still show no signs of waking. Wilford’s the leader right now, it’s his job to keep them all safe. Dark trusted that Wilford could do it. Yet three egos are dead, and the whole building is suffering. He has Google giving him near-constant updates on Plus and Oliver’s repairs and whether any changes have happened with Dr. Iplier, looking for something to do. He feels as though he’s done nothing but wring his hands and turn the fight over and over in his mind ever since the fight happened. If he hadn’t allowed Jackie to pull him into a brawl, then he could’ve focused on Anti and stopped him from killing. But at the same time, he knows things could’ve been much worse. He’s heard from Yandere how he was Anti’s first target until Dr. Iplier stepped in, he’s heard from Host how much further the fight would’ve deteriorated if he hadn’t used his narration to freeze Anti and his puppets in place. It could’ve been so much worse, and what could Wilford have done? What can he do now? Nothing and nothing. Wilford hates this. He hates how helpless he’s felt since Dark died.

As if all that wasn’t enough, now Celine is awake. Wilford remembers hoping she’d stay asleep, remembers hoping she’d never have to see what he became. He can see the glances he gets from her, intrigued but a little bit sad, too, a little bit worried. It doesn’t help that Wilford still loves her, having her awake has only magnified it. But it was their love that ruined everything in the first place. The house may have poisoned Actor to start with, but it was Celine and William’s betrayal that sent him off the deep end. Now Celine is here, and Wilford is here, and Wilford has no idea what to do about it. He’s getting more and more used to not knowing what to do, but he still doesn’t like it.

Eventually, though, he does get something to do. Some time after Celine wakes up, she asks him and Host for a private discussion. They talk in Wilford’s studio instead of the conference room; Wilford can’t care about going through formal meetings anymore.

“What did you want to tell us?” asks Wilford.

“It’s something I’ve known since the day I woke up,” Celine begins, “But I wanted to wait to share until I had…the full scope of things.”

Wilford and Host look at her questioningly, and in response, Celine waves her hand around and conjures a black, writhing orb. She moves her hand back and forth, moving the orb through the air accordingly. It’s hard to make Wilford speechless, but this comes close.

“Woah,” he mumbles.

“The manor changed me,” Celine says by way of explanation, moving the orb higher, over her head. “I could do things like this in the past, but I never fully explored it.”

Celine continues to demonstrate. She can move her orbs more forcefully, launch them forward or backwards. They make dents or holes when they hit the wall, but Wilford can’t find it in himself to be upset about it. She can pull the orbs apart, creating two orbs from one without having to conjure more. She can dissipate them instead of throwing them at things, letting them vanish as quickly as they appear.

“You can just create them?” Wilford asks once she’s gone through all she can do. “Or do you pull them from somewhere?”

“I’m not fully sure,” Celine admits, letting the orb currently in the air disappear. “I can’t make anything but these orbs, though I’ve tried, so I’m not sure if they come from myself or elsewhere.” She pauses. “I know that most of Dark’s power came from his aura, which Anti has now.”

“But the aura came from the mansion,” Host interjects, speaking for the first time. “If the mansion is what changed you, you may have some of the power that eventually became Dark’s aura. The Host can sense that there’s more you can do that’s yet to be discovered.”

Celine grins at that, and it’s such a familiar expression that Wilford is taken aback. It’s a piece of her old fire, that spark that made Wilford love her. Celine always said she didn’t abide flattery, but that wasn’t really true; she just didn’t like the conventional compliments she’d get from men about her beauty or manner. She preferred compliments about her humor, intelligence, or other things more substantial. She first took an interest in William because he picked up on that sooner than most men did.

“We gotta figure out what else you can do,” Wilford says, grinning, “Because it’s cool, but more importantly, it might help us stop Anti next time he shows up.”

“The Host still hasn’t figured out when that will be,” Host says, “But it does not appear to be soon.” Host shudders slightly. “Jackie and Marvin may still be dead, the same as our own are.”

“I’ve heard that Dark could travel using a sort of…void dimension,” Celine muses, “Is there a possibility I could use that place as well? Or was that exclusively tied to his aura?”

Wilford considers, and comes up with an idea.

“Make one of your orbs again,” he tells Celine, “And float it towards me. I want to test something.”

Celine looks confused, but does so, conjuring an orb and moving it gently ahead of her until it’s resting a foot away from Wilford in the air, at the level of his shoulders. This close, Wilford can hear the sounds it’s making, can see it better than he could Celine’s other orbs. It’s not a solid mass, nor does it look as liquid as it did when Celine split her orbs in two. It’s a writhing mass of deep black smoke, churning over itself and emitting a sound like quiet, rustling wind. Wilford leans closer, reaches his hands up around it. Celine’s expression shifts from confusion to alarm, and Host, narrating the situation quietly to himself, seems just as perturbed. Wilford doesn’t quite touch the orb, knowing it would probably hurt him, but he cups his hands close around it, so close he can feel how the orb disturbs the air around itself.

The sounds the orb is making, the look of it, the feel of it in the air, all of it is familiar. Wilford’s been in Dark’s void a hundred times, either as a means of traveling with Dark from one place to another when Dark didn’t want to go through Wilford’s void, or as a means of punishing Wilford for some transgression. The place is the complete opposite of Wilford’s pink, fluffy dreamscape, where there’s hardly any gravity and the sky is always light. Dark’s void is quiet, but it generates whispering and wind that can only barely be heard. So does the orb floating before Wilford now, and the more Wilford leans forward, the more he can hear it. Dark’s void has the same inky quality of the orb, the same deep blackness that still churns and moves when it’s gazed at too closely. Dark’s void is cold and numbing, less frostbite but more novocaine, and the air around the orb feels the same.

This orb, this little black ball, is a piece of Dark’s void, a piece of something all his own. It’s as if Wilford is holding a tiny part of Dark in his hands. After going so long without him, so long without even a body to mourn over, the knowledge of what this orb truly is strikes Wilford as though the orb itself hit him in the chest.

“Are you alright?” Celine asks, worried. “Let me dissipate it, I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“I’m fine, it’s…” Wilford takes his hands away from the orb, and Celine lets it disappear. “Your orbs come from the void. Up close, it was like a chunk of it.”

“Truly?” Celine asks, eyes getting wider.

“If it looks like Dark’s void, sounds like Dark’s void, and feels like Dark’s void, there’s not much else it could be.” Wilford tries to grin. “Maybe if you practiced more, you could figure out how to directly access the void with your magic.”

“I’ve already experimented with telekinesis,” Celine muses, “But I never got anywhere, so to speak.”

“What about teleportation?” chimes in Host, “Have you tried to transport other people or objects interdimensionally?”

“No,” Celine admits, “I’ve only ever tried to move things within the space in front of me, never through another dimension. It never crossed my mind that I could.”

“You could practice it,” Host says, “Perhaps Wilford could help you.”

Wilford wonders if he could take it, working with and developing a skill so connected to Dark, who he still misses so much. But who else could help Celine with her power? Host and Bim don’t have any void magic, and though Wilford can’t access Dark’s void specifically, he knows how to cross dimensions and how to move things in and out. There’s no one better than himself to show Celine the ropes.

Maybe if he can focus on how nice it is to spend time with Celine and see her in her element then he can ignore his feelings about Dark.

“Of course!” Wilford exclaims, forcing away any misgivings. “You’ll be the best magic-user in the building when I’m done with you.” He pauses. “No offense, Host.”

Host shrugs. He doesn’t smile, but that doesn’t mean he took offense. He hasn’t smiled at all since the fight, and Wilford can’t blame him.

“When do we start?” Celine asks, eyes bright with excitement.

“Whenever you want,” Wilford replies, a little softer than he meant to.

Wilford can’t help but wonder how this will go.

~~~

Progress is slow at first.

Even though Wilford is the only one equipped to teach Celine about her void powers, that doesn’t make him a good teacher. He’s shown Yandere how to fire a gun in the past, but that was child’s play compared to this. For one thing, Wilford and Yandere could both use the same gun. Wilford can’t access Dark’s void space; he has to articulate how he moves through his own void and what he remembers of Dark’s utilization of it and try to get Celine to follow suit. But Wilford’s bad at it; he’s never given much thought to the void magic he does, it was never something he had to practice or hone. He didn’t always have control over it, but he never struggled under it. He let it carry him around until the day he realized he could harness it, and it’s come naturally to him ever since – and it’s deceptively hard to explain.

“Just visualize the void, and concentrate, and go,” Wilford says, for probably the seventh time that day.

“I’ve tried,” Celine sighs, “I hardly know what to visualize. It isn’t working.”

“Well, I’ve described it to you, and you’ve held one of your orbs close and really seen what’s it’s made of, so just…put it together, but into a location. And then you’re there!”

Celine looks at him, unimpressed, but closes her eyes and tries it again anyway. Of course, it doesn’t work, and they keep going in circles.

There’s also the elephant in the room getting in the way of their lessons: Wilford and Celine’s relationship. Yandere was already one of Wilford’s best friends when Wilford started teaching him how to use a gun, and working together was easy even when the lessons weren’t. Wilford loves Celine, but he doesn’t know how to talk to her anymore. It’s been so long, and though he senses that she still cares, she’s always been mysterious and a little hard to read. That used to be part of the fun; attuning himself to Celine’s body language and quick glances and tiny smiles to figure out what she liked, and grabbing onto the occasional concrete bits of information she gave him to keep him interested. It was like tracking an animal, or weaving between landmines on a battlefield, and it was exhilarating.

But now, that same excitement and thrill is making it difficult to be a good teacher. Wilford doesn’t want to push her too hard, but he knows she’d resent him for going too easy on her. He still wants her approval, but Celine is stubborn and hates to be told what to do. Yet if she never learns how to figure out her powers, then that’s a potential weapon against Anti lost.

To top it off, it’s all so familiar. Celine continues making orbs, trying to make them bigger and stronger, trying to imagine the void with them, and Wilford keeps seeing Dark in them. The whispers call to mind Dark’s voice scolding Wilford for causing trouble, the temperature calls to mind how cold Dark’s shoulders were when Wilford threw a casual arm around them. Teaching is frustrating and repetitive but sad, too, and Wilford is just waiting for things to click for Celine the way they did for him – and hoping that they will click for her like that.

Eventually, they decide to scale back. Instead of teleporting herself to the void, Celine sits at a desk in the studio and starts trying to teleport a pen to the void instead. Demonstrating how to do it is just as hard for her to conceptualize, though. Wilford still can’t explain it well, he still can’t show her the mechanics easily. If anything, teleporting objects is even more rudimentary than teleporting himself. He is, after all, capable of conjuring objects at will thanks to reality-bending. Moving the objects around is as simple as picking them up and moving them by hand. But it’s only that simple because it’s ingrained in Wilford, not so for Celine. Once again, they get into a frustrating loop of repeated directions and futile efforts.

“This is hopeless,” Celine mutters, irritated, after several lessons of failing to teleport a pen. “If I can’t manage this then how can I possibly help fight Anti?”

“You’ve got to be able to do this!” Wilford exclaims. The only person more stubborn than Celine is him. “This was a part of Dark, and you were a part of Dark. It’s all connected. It’s in you to do this, I know it. And Host thinks you can, too. He keeps telling me to keep working with you.”

“If he can predict the future and bend reality, can you see if he’ll make the future happen now?”

“He can’t. I’ve asked him that already.”

Celine smiles a little at that. She picks up the pen in front of her and clicks it once, twice. Wilford is sitting beside her; the desk is long enough for them both. She’s tired, tired of this, they both are. But what choice do they have but to keep trying?

“To think I’m so close to all this power,” Celine says, voice quiet, now twirling the pen in her hand. “Yet I can’t manage to grasp it. I can only imagine how this would go if it was happening back then.”

“What do you mean?” Wilford’s stomach turns just a little to remember the past, but Celine continues, expression wistful.

“I was so confident, so sure that I could handle the forces I was stumbling into. And then those forces swallowed me whole, and took all of us down with them. Even in the cabin I didn’t learn my lesson, I thought I could beat Mark back forever.”

“You almost did,” Wilford tells her, “You kept you and Damien alive for so long. You protected him from Mark.”

“I almost destroyed us both.” Celine shakes her head. “I thought I was strong enough to fight against our reality. I was too stubborn to let Damien help me until it was almost too late. And now…” She chuckles, bitter. “Now I can’t manage to learn void magic. Maybe I finally need to know my limits.”

“You already do,” Wilford insists, scooting closer to her. “You’re letting me help you; you never would’ve let me help you with something like this back then. You would’ve done it alone.”

“That’s true,” Celine admits, “But I just…I can’t help but be sure that I’ll fail again. No matter what you or Host say.”

They sit together for a while in pensive silence. Wilford thinks for a few moments, and then speaks.

“You’ve changed a lot more than I thought.”

“What do you mean?” Celine looks away from the pen in her hand to meet Wilford’s eyes.

“I mean, since when did Spitfire Celine ever think she couldn’t do something?” Celine rolls her eyes, but can’t help but crack a smile. Wilford grins back. “And when did she ever give up on something she couldn’t learn right away? When did she ever turn down the chance to learn more or get even stronger than she was already?”

That’s what half the men in town called her back then. “Spitfire Celine,” muttered under their breaths in annoyance at her assertive manner and refusal to settle for the men not worth her time. Wilford remembers how Celine grew to love the title, how it kept mediocre men from approaching her, how she enjoyed the playful, affectionate way it would roll off William’s tongue. Maybe Celine is remembering that too, because her smile stays, and she chuckles again, this time with genuine humor.

“You’re right,” she admits, grinning, “It’s just easy to feel a bit crazy, trying to do something over and over and failing every time.”

“You’re not crazy,” Wilford says, with sincerity that surprises even himself.

Celine looks at him. They were already sitting rather close, but their chairs are nearly touching now, and Wilford is utterly captivated by Celine’s gaze. Her eyes are the same color they were back then, the same rich, deep brown, so dark they’re almost black. He knows his own eyes are a lighter, simpler brown right now. He wonders what Celine would think of his eyes if she saw them go pink.

“You’ve changed, too,” Celine murmurs. “But it’s been so long, it’d be strange if you hadn’t.”

You and Damien are the ones who changed me, Wilford almost says, but decides not to.

“It’s been a hundred years, or ten, or four, depending on who you ask,” Wilford quips.

“I don’t follow.”

“You haven’t watched the important videos yet, then. Google can give you the list, there’s too many for me to keep track of at this point.”

Celine’s brows furrow, not annoyed but confused, and she looks back at the pen. Wilford does, too.

But there’s nothing there. The space where it was is empty.

“What–” Celine begins, looking around on the desk to see where it rolled to. Wilford glances around, too. It’s not on the desk, or on the floor, or under the notebooks or keyboard or computer monitor on the desk.

“Pens do have a way of disappearing on you,” Wilford muses. “Luckily, I can just poof it back to me!”

Wilford does so. He does the magic he always does to put an object he wants in his hands. But his hands remain empty. He frowns and tries again. Nothing. The pen remains missing.

“Now where on earth could this pen possibly–” Wilford cuts off his own frustrated ramble before it can start.

“What?” Celine asks, still looking around.

“Celine, you’ve done it,” Wilford gasps.

Celine stops searching for the pen. She turns to look at Wilford.

“I’ve…done it?” she asks, confused.

“You teleported the pen into the void!” Wilford exclaims, half-laughing. “That’s why we can’t find it, and why I can’t make it appear! You’ve done it!”

“I’ve done it!” Celine repeats, laughing as well. “I didn’t even notice, it must have been while we were talking.”

“I’ve always found that magic is easiest when you don’t think too hard about it,” Wilford says, still grinning. “Seems you needed a distraction, so you’re welcome!”

“Oh, how gracious of you,” Celine laughs, speaking in a way reminiscent of (and mocking) the beguiling tone she’d put on for parties back in the day. “You’re very considerate, Mr. Warfstache.”

“Why thank you, Celine,” Wilford replies with a wink, in the same tone, “I am always and ever at your service.”

The pair are too close together again, and Wilford thinks that he ought to pull back. But Celine is still smiling, and Wilford couldn’t possibly look away. He could drown in Celine’s dark eyes. Her lips are painted black to match. What would the harm be, really, if he leaned in a little closer and–

“Well, now what should I try?” Celine asks, interrupting Wilford’s thoughts. He considers her question for a moment.

“Now you gotta get the pen back,” Wilford tells her.

“Ah. I suppose that’s reasonable.” She holds her hands up, looks at them, and…nothing happens. “Oh, for the love of…”

Wilford laughs, he can’t help it. Celine shoves him, but there’s no venom in it. As Celine begins trying to get the pen back from the void, Wilford can’t help but wonder when exactly she was able to teleport it in the first place. He wonders if it was when their chairs were close, when their shoulders were almost touching, when they shared that gentle moment.

And he wonders if, during the second time they got too close, when he was thinking about getting closer still and breaking the tension between them, if she wanted to kiss him, too.

~~~

Void magic doesn’t quite click for Celine after that in the same instantaneous way it did for Wilford, but she progresses in skill much more rapidly than before. Only a day after first teleporting the pen away, she manages to get it back from the void. It’s cold in that familiar way Dark’s void is, but no worse for wear, and it encourages Celine to practice harder, to give herself bigger challenges. In a few days, she’s teleporting objects of all kinds, and doing so fast and easily. It’s impressive, but Wilford knows there’s one more challenge left, the one that she’ll truly have to master if she wants to help defeat Anti.

“Teleport a person?” Celine asks. Another person might be nervous at the prospect, but Celine’s eyes are alight with ambitious spark.

“Now that Anti has Dark’s aura,” Wilford explains, “He’s been using Dark’s void to get around. He used to be only able to travel through electricity or wifi. But with Dark’s void, he can travel much easier, and he can take his puppets with him anywhere in a snap.” He knows his face falls a little, but he can’t stop it. “That’s what he did before you woke up. Brought all his puppets here, killed three of us, and almost destroyed us completely. If we can – if you can stop him from doing that again, we have a much better chance of defeating him.”

And turning everything back to normal, which includes Celine leaving again. Wilford doesn’t say it, but he knows Celine must be thinking it. Yet it doesn’t dampen her energy at all. Her brows furrow just slightly, but in confusion, not sadness.

“I understand that,” Celine begins, “But if I need to practice teleporting people around, who can I do that with? I’ve heard how Dark used his void as a punishment, and if it takes me too long to get someone out, it might drive them mad.”

“Simple,” Wilford says, “Teleport me! I’m used to Dark’s void by now, and between you and me, I don’t have much sanity left to lose.”

It’s the truth, and it’s an eventuality Wilford expected. He’d known that Celine would need to practice on a person, and he’d known that he’d make the best guinea pig. Dark’s void doesn’t scare him; it never truly did.

There’s something in it, though. There’s a reason he keeps telling himself over and over that this was inevitable, that there’s nothing to fear in Dark’s void.

For several minutes, Celine tries to get Wilford into the void. It’s difficult, not just because he’s a person and not an object, but because he’s magic, too. Wilford’s aura can sense Celine’s power, can tell what she’s trying to do, and pushes her back without Wilford even trying. The air around himself is pink with it before long, the room starts to smell like cotton candy. Celine can feel Wilford’s aura fight against her, Wilford can see it in her expression of concentration and strain.

“How did you end up with so much power?” Celine huffs, “You barely understood my magic in the past, and now you’re stronger than I ever was.”

“It sorta just happened,” Wilford says with a shrug. “I never had to practice like you did.”

“Lucky you,” she grumbles, though Wilford can tell she’s not really annoyed. He chuckles a little, and she can’t help but do the same, grumpy expression quickly fading. She looks at him, smiling, hands still out, power still winding around her fingers, mingling with and fighting his own.

A split second later, Wilford is in the dark.

Wilford blinks, surprised. When Dark put him in the void, it was always in a burst of smoke, a flourish. But Celine did it so fast Wilford wonders if he merely blinked out of existence on her side. Either way, he’s in Dark’s void now, in that same cold, dim place he’s spent many a punishment. He grins to himself.

“Bully, she did it,” he says. “So fast, too.”

And she was looking at me and smiling when it happened, Wilford remembers. As he’d told her before, new magic works best when the user isn’t thinking too hard about it, and it can help if their focus is on something else.

Wilford doesn’t know how long it will take Celine to get him back out. The pen took longer to poof away than poof back, but that doesn’t mean it’d be the same for a person. But it’s not like there’s any rush. Wilford still isn’t scared of Dark’s void, he’s still used to it. The worst thing that could happen to him here is getting bored, and maybe a little hungry if it really takes Celine a long time to get him out. There’s a non-zero chance that Wilford could encounter Anti here, of course, since he has use of the space now, too. But the void is void; two people could be in it for days and never cross paths, and Wilford doubts Anti cares enough to explore.

So Wilford walks nowhere, whistling a little, waiting until he’s back in reality.

The void has its way of worming in. And Wilford still recalls Celine’s orbs, those little void chunks that brought Dark so readily to mind. He’s not sure when he stops whistling, but eventually, he’s left listening to the whispers of the space around him. The words are indistinct, and Wilford knows that listening closely won’t make them any less so. The voices don’t sound like Dark, but they sound like his aura. And the space has that same cold. It’s Celine’s orbs, but more, worse. Wilford is surrounded on all sides by reminders of Dark.

His best friend.

His dead best friend.

He shouldn’t have left him alone. He’d been so worried about Dark after Infelix hurt him all that time ago, a part of him feared what could happen to him while he was vulnerable. Yandere had still been missing then, and Wilford hadn’t wanted Dark to be next. And he’d been right to be worried. After all, Dr. Iplier was the one who convinced Wilford to leave the clinic for Dark to heal. Dr. Iplier was the one who killed Dark when they were alone. It makes Wilford’s face hot to think about it, but mostly it just hurts. Dark suffered; he died painfully and never even got to see Yandere come home.

The hours immediately after finding out what happened to Dark were some of the worst in Wilford’s life. Not the very worst, but far too close. He’d never felt so fragile, so shattered, so mentally unwell. He’d never hated being crazy until the possibility of losing Dark arrived to drive him mad. He’d never hated missing chunks of memory until those memories came back to bite him in the form of Damien and Celine. He’d wondered, while he locked himself in his room and tried to get back some sanity, if this was how people normally felt when they lost someone. If this was how normal people reacted when a loved one died, instead of shrugging it off and assuming they’d be back tomorrow. Grief lodged itself in Wilford’s chest, so huge he couldn’t breathe. Even after he managed to pull himself together and start trying to figure out what happened, even after he was able to feel joy that Yandere was home and Damien was back and Celine was awake, the grief stayed. Smaller now, but present, beating next to Wilford’s heart, always. Wilford hates grief. He hates how familiar it’s become, he hates how that familiarity still hasn’t given him control over it.

Wilford misses Dark, he misses him so much, he wishes so much that he were here still. If he were here, the egos who died would still be alive, Yandere would be happy, Anti wouldn’t be dangerously powerful, there’d be no problem at all in the first place.

And Wilford wouldn’t be here in the void, in a graveyard that looks and feels and sounds like his closest friend, getting that same gut punch he got from nearly touching the orb Celine made, over and over.

Maybe he was wrong before. Maybe he does have a mind left to lose.

In a sudden second, Wilford is back in his studio, blinking against the fluorescent lights, the cold of the void still in his skin.

“Finally!” Celine exclaims from a few feet away, “Sorry it took me so long to find you, I – Wil? Are you alright?”

Wilford isn’t crying, amazingly. But he must still look terrible. He tries to shake it off with a laugh.

“I’m perfectly peachy, just disoriented,” Wilford says with a grin, “Dark always teleported people with smoke and fanfare, you do it in a blink!”

“I try to be efficient,” Celine jokes, grinning much more genuinely than Wilford is. “I hope you’re ready for more of the same, though.”

“Lunch first! I’m starving, how long was I in there?”

“A few hours. Perhaps dinner would be preferable now.”

“Either way, I’m making pancakes.”

“At this hour?”

“It’s never a bad time for pancakes! I’ll show you!”

He does. He tries to cook pancakes the normal way, burns them, and then poofs good pancakes onto the table instead. Celine’s amazed that they taste so good despite appearing from thin air, and Wilford’s happy to see Celine warm up to pancakes as a dinner food. They talk and laugh until the moon is out, about the other egos at first, and about Damien being a worrywort over Celine using her powers. Once those topics run dry, they reminisce, drawing up the grand old parties and movie premieres, the manor’s hidden rooms and secluded poolside, the days they snuck away to the fields around the building or went for a night in town.

“Bully, those days,” Wilford murmurs, “We had fun, didn’t we?”

“A bit of an understatement, isn’t it?” Celine asks, laughter still on her lips. Wilford would like to be there, too. “I felt like a child, some days,” Celine continues, “So carefree, and…careless.”

There’s no better way to word it. It’s how Wilford’s spent his whole life ever since everything fell apart, isn’t it? He nods before getting up from the table with a yawn.

“Well, it’s hard to wear me out, but you’ve managed,” Wilford jokes. “I’m hitting the hay, you should, too.”

“Certainly, but what about the dishes?”

“Oh, those?”

Wilford snaps his fingers, and the dirty dishes disappear.

“Weren’t those from the cabinet?” Celine asks.

A pause.

“Eh, I’ll put ‘em back tomorrow,” Wilford says with a shrug. “Meet me in the studio again in the morning?”

“Of course,” Celine replies, “And, Wilford?”

Wilford stops as he’s about to poof away. Celine wheels herself away from the table and close to him. Her arms on the wheels aren’t as thin and delicate as they used to be; they’ve built some muscle from moving herself around. She’s also been borrowing blouses and sweaters from Yandere instead of continuing to drown in Dark’s dress shirts. Above all, Celine is beautiful. She always has been.

“Yes?” Wilford manages to respond. He hopes there weren’t too many seconds of dead air.

“We should do things like this more,” Celine says, her smile gentle, “Even after I don’t need to practice my magic with you anymore.”

“Ah…yes, we should,” Wilford says, hardly able to get the words out. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” Celine’s expression is still gentle, and familiar.

Wilford poofs back to his room before he can let himself act on that expression.

~~~

As with the pen, once Celine manages to teleport a person once with ease, it soon comes to her naturally. Still, Wilford has her practice more than she did with the pen; teleporting people is a much more important skill to get right than teleporting objects, after all. As her magic improves, she practices a bit with others (mainly Damien and Host), but Wilford is still her most frequent test subject. Wilford begins to use his own magic to actively fight against hers, trying to see if he can keep her from teleporting him. It works at first, but she gets stronger quickly, and figures out ways around and through it.

Wilford spends a lot of time yo-yoing between Dark’s void and ordinary reality, and it gives him near-constant whiplash. Dark’s void is still Dark’s place, it still reminds Wilford of Dark, still gets him thinking about what happened and how awful it feels. Granted, Celine is still distracting in herself, she’s still beautiful and powerful and Wilford’s heart is getting harder to ignore. But his heart is constantly torn between two extremes, constantly feeling torn apart. Celine is sharp, though, and she continuously notices Wilford’s expressions, notices the way the teleportation is affecting him, and the more Wilford tries to play it off the less she seems to believe it. And why would she believe it? Wilford’s told her about how his own void is a cavalcade of catastrophe; why would Dark’s still, quiet void be disorienting to him? Wilford knows he’s on borrowed time with her. The Celine he knows wouldn’t let something like this sit and go unspoken. He hopes they can finish off their last lessons without him letting anything more slip.

But Wilford’s been running on empty for too long, and Celine isn’t one to let anything go.

It’s the end of that day’s lesson, not nearly as late in the day as their impromptu pancake dinner a few days back, but the sun outside is most likely setting. Wilford has been flung back to reality yet again, and is trying not to show how relieved he is to be done.

“Alright, I think…I think that was enough for today,” Wilford says, trying not to gasp. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” Celine admits, “But are you sure you’re alright, Wil?”

“Of course!” Wilford says with a grin, knowing full well he can’t manage a convincing fake laugh now.

“Let me rephrase that, then,” Celine says, wheeling herself closer to him. “You’re not alright. I’ve seen it every time I’ve brought you back from the void. What’s going on?”

“Celine–” Wilford tries.

“Were you lying about being able to handle the effects it has on people?” Celine interjects, eyes narrowing.

“No!” Wilford exclaims. “At least…” He sighs. “At least not the way you mean.”

“What are you talking about?”

Wilford looks away. He knew he’d end up here, but he still doesn’t want to tell her anything, still doesn’t want her privy to his inner war.

“Wilford.”

Celine wheels forward a little further; Wilford can hear her chair move. He doesn’t hear her arm reach out, though, and is surprised to feel her hand on his forearm. His gaze travels there, to her slender fingers on him. Even through his shirt, her hand is warm. Her nails are neat and short and black like night. There’s electricity in her palm that Wilford knows he must be imagining, because he was imagining it back then, too, back when she touched him fleetingly and quietly, back when she still wore her ring when they were alone. But this is not fleeting. Celine’s grip isn’t harsh, but she holds on.

“Wilford,” Celine repeats, and her voice is so soft it doesn’t doesn’t sound like her.

Wilford looks at her, and her sad brows and worried mouth are unlike her, too.

“Dark’s void…has so much of Dark in it,” Wilford says, unable to manage above a whisper. “Everything about it reminds me of him. And when I think about him I remember that he’s dead, and how he died, and how Anti’s wearing a piece of him as we speak, and…the void is like that piece. It’s cold and dark and quiet like he is. Was. He…god, I keep having to remember that he’s gone. Being in the void is like being next to him. The void is him. It’s the closest…” Wilford shakes his head. “I know how this sounds, I know I sound crazy–”

“You’re not crazy,” Celine says in a voice just like her hand still on Wilford’s arm; gentle but firm. “You’re mourning.”

It’s amazing that this is what makes Wilford’s eyes tear up, after every emotional high and low over the past days of teaching Celine how to use her magic. It’s amazing that this is what gets him closer to sobbing than anything else that either of them have done.

“I’ve…” Wilford begins, then restarts. “Everything is too clear, now. There’s so much. I thought nothing could ever be too much for me.”

“These lessons are too much,” Celine murmurs. “I’ve gotten so good now, maybe Host could be the one I work with.”

“No.” Wilford shakes his head. “It’s not his job, and he’s…he’s got his own things to deal with. I’ve lost my best friend, but he’s lost the man he’s in love with.” He finds himself moving one of his hands to cover Celine’s still on his arm, but he can’t make himself stop. “I’ve got Damien, at least, and I’ve…got you.”

Celine’s eyes are kind and concerned, yet there’s something inscrutable in them. There often is. There often was, back then. Wilford couldn’t ever fully figure her out, and it kept him coming back until he stopped feeling bad about ruining Mark’s marriage.

“I’m glad you’re still here,” Celine says, quiet and contemplative. “After I woke up, before I saw you, I wasn’t sure I’d see you again.”

“We thought you’d never wake up,” Wilford replies. He ducks his head. “I sort’ve hoped you wouldn’t, so you wouldn’t…see who I am now.”

He’s not sure why he’s admitting this to her. Maybe because of her hand still on his arm and his hand over hers, and ducking his head only made it easier to look her in the eye, and she might be sitting up straighter and he might be bending just slightly, and their faces might be just a bit closer together than they were a minute ago.

She doesn’t respond to Wilford right away. She doesn’t rush to comfort or condemn him, simply looks back at him with that deep, gentle gaze. After a few moments, she finally speaks.

“I’m not the same either, am I?” She holds up her free hand, conjures a little black ball, filled with the thing that started this conversation in the first place. “We’ve all changed. We’re not better or worse, only different.” She lets the orb disappear.

“You’re not that different,” Wilford lightly scoffs, “You’re still you. You’re still the person I remember.”

You’re still the woman who captured my heart.

“So are you. Really!” Celine insists at Wilford’s repeated scoff. “You’re still so loud and brash, yet such a perfect gentleman to me. You’re still strong and smart, and you still treat me as an equal. You still encourage all my bad habits, and all my good ones, too.” She grins. “You’re still terrible at taking hints and making the first move.”

“What?” Wilford asks, but a part of him already knows, because he doesn’t move away or protest when Celine grabs Wilford’s suspenders with both hands, pulls him down to her level, and kisses him.

She tastes like fire, like smoke and brimstone, like perfume and lipstick and late-night bourbon that they’d blame for whatever happened after, like sunset and sunrise, like dreams and memories, like no one Wilford ever kissed before or since, like forbidden fruit, like coming home.

Even after she pulls away, Wilford feels like he’s drowning. They look at each other, and Celine’s dark eyes are glittering in a familiar way.

“Is this a good idea?” Wilford asks her.

“Since when has that mattered to either of us?” Celine counters, voice hardly a breath.

She’s right, and Wilford already knows it’s too late to stop what’s been set in motion. He can’t hold anything back anymore.

What happens next is not quite the same as how it used to happen in the past. There’s no ornate manor to run through, no carpeted hallways to dart between. There’s no need to stifle giggles or speak low enough not to echo. There’s no one to avoid running into, no one to catch them in the act of sneaking around. There’s no need to sneak, there’s no need to borrow a room or a table or even a wall, for those times they couldn’t wait. The studio has no one in it but the two of them, and Wilford’s room is close enough by that there’s no need to rush to it. There’s no need, but there is desire, so they do anyway. Celine can’t run ahead like she used to, can’t playfully dodge an outstretched hand, can’t elegantly slip out of her dress, tantalizingly bare. Instead of wheeling herself forward, she allows Wilford to carry her for speed’s sake, allows him to help her undress, allows him to set her on his bed. But she is the one who pushes her own legs apart and tells Wilford not to be gentle.

Wilford never could refuse her, and he still can’t now.

But why would he want to?

It’s not the same as before. It isn’t hushed and hidden; they don’t bother keeping their voices down. There’s no way for anyone to hear, and even if they could, why would it matter? They don’t have to be careful and concerned about accidentally leaving marks where someone might see, so who cares if they do? Wilford always hated how restrained he had to be, how he had to stop just short of leaving bites and bruises on Celine’s pale skin, lest Mark notice them later. Now, though, he can paint her red and blue, and Celine encourages every hint of teeth. There’s no need to make it quick, either, they can take as long as they want here without fear of discovery. So they do, long and hot and languid.

It’s not all different. Celine can’t wrap her legs around Wilford now, but she can still claw up his back like she used to then, the only place she left her mark on him, where no one could see. Wilford remembers exactly what touches Celine likes and does them all again, painstaking and smoldering as embers. They laugh too, once or twice, at themselves or their situation, a memory of the quiet giggles they shared long ago.

It’s everything Wilford dreamed of, everything he remembers, everything he wanted from this, from her, and the way she gazes up at him, eyes heavy-lidded and glittering dark, makes him think this is all she dreamed of, too.

They don’t clean up right away after they’re done. After such a release of tension (physical and emotional), Wilford doesn’t have the energy. He reclines in bed beside Celine, who pulls herself into a sitting position with a sigh.

“Wish I had a cigarette,” she says idly.

“That good, huh?” Wilford quips, poofing a cigarette into one hand and a lighter into the other.

Celine rolls her eyes but grins broadly. She takes the cigarette from Wilford but eyes the lighter with a note of confusion. Wilford flicks it on for her, and Celine puts her cigarette to her lips for Wilford to light. He does so, and Celine draws back to inhale. The whole sequence of movements is so mundane, yet it’s graceful and mesmerizing when Celine does it. She leans forward so as not to get ash on herself, and doesn’t bother covering her chest with the blanket. Wilford can’t help but stare. Celine notices his gaze nearly immediately, and gives him a sidelong smirk.

“You just had these two to yourself for an hour, do you want more already?” she asks playfully.

“No,” Wilford replies, “I just like looking at them.”

I like looking at you.

Celine seems like she’s about to respond with another quip, but stops upon noticing a bit of ash float off the end of her cigarette onto the bed.

“Oh, hell,” she mutters, brushing the ash away and looking around herself. “Sorry, there’s no – ”

Wilford poofs something onto the bed between them.

“ – ashtray. Thank you,” Celine says, tapping the end of her cigarette into it. “Do you not smoke anymore?”

“Nope,” Wilford says, “I’m more of a drinker these days.”

“We all have something,” Celine muses, inhaling once more.

Wilford would be drinking a lot, these days, if not for the responsibility on his shoulders. He can’t very well get hammered every night while the other egos are relying on him for guidance and protection.

Celine is looking at him.

“What now?” she asks, not unkindly.

“What do you mean?”

“You keep getting this look on your face lately. Like you’re a thousand miles away, or at least, like you wish you were.”

Wilford, evidently, is even more of an open book than he’d thought. He hadn’t known he was wearing his struggles so clearly. But how can he not? He shrugs.

“There’s a lot on my mind lately,” he answers, trying to sound casual. “I doubt that’s surprising.”

“No,” Celine admits, sighing out a puff of smoke, “I suppose I could’ve guessed. But you know how I am with these things.”

Wilford does. Celine can never let something lie, she always has to figure things out. Improve them if she can, understand them completely if she can’t. It’s how they ended up here in bed in the first place. Not for the first time, Wilford is comforted by how little she’s changed.

“I said before that I was worried about you waking up,” Wilford says, suddenly unable to look at her, “But…I’m glad you did. I’m glad you’re here now.”

“Mm,” Celine replies, noncommittal.

That makes Wilford look at her. Her expression is neutral, but Wilford knows her well enough to see that it’s a look she’s putting on, and not her true feelings.

“I was expecting ‘me too,’” Wilford says truthfully. “Why just ‘mm’?”

“I…” Celine starts, then stops. She takes another drag, looking away.

“Oh, come on now,” Wilford cajoles gently, “I’ve already spilled my heart out to you tonight, can’t you be honest with me, too?”

Celine chuckles a little.

“I suppose that’s only fair,” she says, but her smile fades quickly. “It’s…it’s not that I don’t enjoy being aware again, or having my own body and thoughts, or being able to see and speak and move – well, mostly move…” She taps one of her motionless legs with the hand not holding her cigarette. “…But the world is so different now. Everything has changed. I fell asleep so long ago, and the world kept moving. I can’t help but feel that I’ve been left behind.”

“Life comes at you fast,” Wilford mumbles, unsure of what else to say. “Time is just wobbly.”

“For you, maybe,” Celine says, “But it’s too much for me. I don’t know any of these modern gadgets, even the lighter you used a minute ago is strange to me. I don’t know half the magic you and the others have, it’s not instinctual like it is for you. I don’t know anyone here but you and my brother…” She pauses to take another drag, expression stony and contemplative. “I don’t belong here anymore. I wasn’t meant to be here.”

“Celine…”

“And Damien–” Celine huffs in frustration. “Damien’s in denial. He doesn’t ever want to talk about it. About how we’ve lost our place.”

“Celine, you have a place.” Wilford reaches over and lays a hand over hers. “I’m right here, aren’t I?”

Celine looks at him, with those same eyes that intimidated him and intrigued him in equal measure back when they were still strangers. Then she scoffs.

“You sound like Damien, now, so idealistic. It can’t work like that, Wil.”

“Celine–”

“Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. About how Damien and I will have to go back to being Dark again or else you and the others will never have him back.”

There it is. Wilford sighs now, looks down.

“I don’t…I’ve tried not to think about it, for sure,” Wilford admits, “I love having you and Damien here, I love you, helping you figure out your magic has been amazing.”

“But you miss Dark,” Celine says, “I can see it clear as day. And you aren’t the only one. Everyone here needs him back. I’ve learned since I woke up that he made this place, he’s responsible for everyone living here, and he’s respected as much as he’s feared.” Celine takes another drag, searching for the right words. “Dark belongs here. Damien and I are meant to be a part of him, and…and I don’t think I’ll mind going back, not really.”

“What if you never wake up again?” Wilford asks, suddenly aware of how small and quiet his voice sounds. Celine shrugs.

“I’ll never know, will I?” she asks in return, “And the alternative is Dark never coming back.”

Oh, that thought sends a jolt of terror sweeping through Wilford’s mind, and it must show on his face. How can he help it? He said he was Celine’s place, but Dark is his own place. He still wants Celine to want him like he wants her, he remembers that dark-eyed look she gave him just minutes ago, how it felt like maybe she already wanted him like that. Maybe she did in that moment, the same way he meant it when he said he was her place. But the glamor and romance of the sentiment is fading faster the longer he sits here, his mind is clearer than it’s ever been, and he knows acutely that he and Celine can never have again what they did before. Maybe she does love him back, but it hardly matters. Wilford loves Celine, and he also loves Damien, but he loves Dark, too, and at this point, he’s loved him longer than he’s loved Damien and Celine combined.

Celine looks down, smiling sadly.

“Maybe you were right before,” she says, putting out her cigarette in the ashtray still between them, “I’m sorry for this.”

It takes Wilford many moments to remember what she’s referring to, and by then, she’s turned away from him, and it seems pointless to start another conversation. There’s nothing else to say at all.

#wilford warfstache #celine the seer #markiplier fanfiction #fanfic #my writing #markiplier #kristin says stuff #unravel #sorry this took over a year lmao

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qwertynerd97 · 7 months

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So I’ve been on a Star Trek kick lately, and the episodic nature of Strange New Worlds framed around the personal logs, combined with LITERALLY living through major historical events this decade made me decide that my New Years Resolution for 2024 should be to keep a diary/logbook.

…however I ALSO have lots of experience as an amateur archivist, and so I wanted to figure out a fairly future proof way of keeping said diary. This IMMEDIATELY ruled out various journaling apps for me, since most of them are proprietary, with no way to ensure your data is preserved if the company closes or just decides to do more rent seeking.

So I started poking around with various open source journaling softwares. My girlfriend pointed me at Standard Notes, which she’s been using for a few years, so I decided to take a look at it. I poked around their website for a bit, and discovered that they had the ability to let me self-host a server for my notes, which was a MAJOR plus for me, from an archival point of view (since my data would be local to my device AND on a server, but a server I have physical access to)

I ended up with a few questions that the website could not answer for me, so I emailed their support team and they got back to me very promptly with answers to my questions. They also sent me the link to a demo version with all the paid feature unlocked, so I could test them out.

I ended up deciding that the features would work perfectly for me, both mobile and desktop abilities. In particular, I really liked the Daily log feature for my diary plans, but the demo also had really cool features that I could see my self using for other things, like spreadsheets, code editors, and checklists. I also really like the concept of the Web Clipper, as someone who often needs to make notes on websites, although I have not set it up yet.

After playing with the demo for a bit, I was pretty sure I liked the options Standard Note had, so I started working on getting the self hosted server set up for myself.

I had a couple false starts getting it set up, because (as someone moderately familiar with open source software) I first went to GitHub for setup instructions, and the complete setup info was not there, but was instead on the Standard Notes website. The basic setup instructions for getting the server running locally were super easy to follow, and I only had one minor issue with changing the ports (I flipped the order they needed to be in since I wasn’t super familiar with Docker)

… And then I got to the part about securing my server, which is where I started to run into issues. My girlfriend had previously set up my server with Navidrome (basically open source Spotify), so when I started to follow the Standard Notes instructions for securing https traffic and saw the instructions wanted me to install nginx directly on my server, I immediately had a few red flags, as I knew my girlfriend had set that up in Docker for Navidrome. After consulting with her, I pulled code she had written to dockerize nginx for Navidrome and modified it for Standard Notes.

And then when I ran it it IMMEDIATELY failed with duplicate port options. Turns out that the ports modifications I had done earlier were conflicting with the ones I wanted to expose with nginx (…because they were the same ones 🤦‍♂️) so I updated the standard notes docker container to not expose anything directly on my server, and made the nginx container the only one in charge of exposing ports on my server.

And with one more run, SUCCESS! I could access the self hosted server page from both my server and my phone (which I pulled off my home network to experiment)

And once the server was running, adding my self-hosted address to the phone app and web app maintained by Standard Notes was SUPER easy! Just updating a single address in the login!

I’m super excited to use this as my new journaling app for 2024, and maybe even replace my various note taking softwares (Apple notes, Google Drive, Notes Plus) with it!

#adventures in adulting #open source #journaling #qwerty at the keyboard

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oz-digital · 1 year

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Hosting Services Sydney

Hosting services Sydney are essential for business websites to be online at all times. Downtime can lead to loss of traffic, potential clients, and sales. Juncture ITs Web Hosting service will optimise the functions of your website to meet your needs.

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stopscammingartists · 1 year

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Im told that you really need to make sure that the bandwidth is increased or change web host because having 100 GB of bandwidth isn't normal, especially for having a website that is gonna get a lot of traffic from people coming in to find out what the heck is going on with Floraverse being a cult and such.

Plus, it doesn't matter if the website is getting less than 4-5k viewers, the more this controversy gets found out, the more people will start heading to that site and will eventually reach its bandwidth limit. If you really want a lot of people to find out what's up, you gotta increase that disk usage, bandwidth, SQL, basically, get a better server because what you have isn't normal according to a friend of mine.

I agree and am working with the webdev on ways to decrease the sites use of bandwidth but I think your estimation of how many people will visit the site is more then our estimation of people who will visit the site - at least prelaunch. But I will say we have gotten more then we expected.

We have a 3 year plan with this host, and picked them for a reason and we don't really have the money to switch.

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billconrad · 1 year

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Bill’s Guide to Book Marketing

I am a self-published author and have attempted to market my books, but the results have been less than successful. So why read a book marketing guide by somebody like me? The principles I will describe still apply, and I have made many mistakes that you will know how to avoid. Remember, you learn more from failure than from success. Does that mean I have learned a lot in my life? Hmm.

At this point, you have written a book, had it professionally edited, a professional cover designed, an ISBN, an Amazon AISN, it’s formatted for ebook and print on demand. It is for sale on Amazon, Kubo, Apple Play, Google reads, Smashwords, Barns, and Nobel. Wow, quite an accomplishment! The problem is that 200+ people a month also released their first book. (Plus, established books are re-released as “new.” So annoying!) Many new books belong to authors with multiple books, and their readers are eager to read more. YOUR GOAL is to convince people to click “buy it now,” and here are the basic book marketing steps (not necessarily in the proper order):

To get attention, you must attack this problem on several fronts. Let’s start with the most important one. YOU NEED AMAZON REVIEWS! LOTS OF THEM! The first part of the plan is to send a copy of your work to every friend you have. Then, two months later, pester them for a review. This initial foundation of positive reviews is critical to your success.

Put your book info on Goodreads and any other site hosting information about your work.

Get a disposable email account like Yahoo. Search for free book promotion sites and put your book there. They will need a bio, picture, ISBN, amazon link, AISN number, Kubo, Apple Play, Google Reads, Smashwords, and Barns Nobel link. Important tip. I have one file with all this information, including all the links. Note that these free sites will spam the email account you provide to death. Here are a few areas to check out:

Sneaky tip. Go to Barns and Nobel every week and load your book onto all their Nook readers. Perhaps write a five-star review… Perhaps one on each tablet… Perhaps if you are on vacation… Perhaps if you have friends or relatives in other cities…

Should you buy book reviews? I found one site (I will not provide the link because it looks shady) where you can buy Amazon reviews. $300 gets up to 10 (why not an exact number?) badly written reviews. Should you do this?

I do not recommend buying reviews unless you use a professional review service ($1K) that Amazon will allow a “review transfer.” Also, Amazon will likely find and sue these shady sites. Then Amazon will ban all the authors. Or they could try to shake you down. “Hey, you paid us for a review. Now pay us $$, or we will tattle to Amazon!”

If you read and followed my previous blog, you have written at least 200 book reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. Consider posting these reviews to Barns and Nobel, and Kubo. Your new goal is to get more reviews, and there is a group of motivated people who will do a review exchange. Authors!

How to find willing (desperate) authors? First, look for new books on Amazon with a few reviews. Then, comb through them to see if they have a website or some other external way (Facebook) of contacting the author. Email/message them and ask them to do a review exchange. This means you offer to buy their book/ebook on Amazon, read their book, and write a review on Amazon and Goodreads. The other (potential) author will look at your 200 reviews and feel they are getting a good deal.

Is this ethical? Yes, because you are only doing a review exchange. No money is changing hands. Both people paid for the book and are writing an honest review. But, do not contact authors through Goodreads or Amazon because both sites monitor their internal communications for review exchanges.

Look for Facebook review exchange groups.

Keep a log of all your reviews. Keep in yearly contact with your old review exchange authors. That way, you can contact them again when you come out with a new book.

Develop a dedicated website for your work. On it will be your books, your extended biography, a way to contact you, sample pages of your book, updates, and your blog. Many great website hosting companies have great online free website building programs—for example, Godaddy.

Of course, I chose not to use a free online website builder. Why? I am old school and wanted to make a site on my computer that I could endlessly edit offline. My other motivation was that if the hosting company did not work out (like upping their cost), I could move my = domain to any other web hosting company. Yes, I am a control freak.

So, my quest began. My first stop was to buy a copy of the gold standard for website development, Microsoft Front Page. To my utter surprise, it is no longer supported. What the heck? Well, I still had the silver standard Corel website creator. Wow, it has become awful. So, I went through every program from Adobe, Google, and many others. Pure junk. (How do companies make their sites? I do not know.) Fortuitously, I found a free program called Rocketcake. It was easy to use, fast, and produced excellent results. The downside is the lack of power. (It did not support splashy features. Only basic website stuff.) But there was an exciting upside. It generates tiny webpages that display lightning fast.

There was another benefit to Rocketcake that no other website builder had. It (accurately) showed how my website looked on mobile devices, and I could tweak the pages to look good on all platforms. Godaddy and other online-generated web pages look awful on small devices. Do people browse the web on their phones? Hmm. Perhaps there was some logic to my crazy decision.

Then I needed a hosting company and found WHP. Incidentally, WHP is the least expensive, and their service is decent. Coincidence?

Get a Facebook personal account and then make a separate page for your author’s activities. Make it look professional by examining what other authors have made their page look like.

Generate buzz on popular social sites groups like Twitter and Instagram. How does this work? I do not know. Twitter and Instagram are not my scene, but I know there are promoting guides on these sites.

Send out free books/ebooks. Several sites let you post your work for free to generate buzz. KDP select allows you to do this, but in my case, fifteen people downloaded my book and… Nothing.

There are a few (odd) free sites. The deal is that if you post an Amazon review, you get to read more free books. The problem is that all reviews read “…good book… I posted this review to claim the free book on XXX site, and this review is of my own volition.” What the heck? Stay away from those sites. Amazon will eventually take down all those phony reviews and punish the author.

Hire a publicist. I have investigated several and failed to find a good one. Why? When you hire somebody, you need a measure of their success. “You are a housepainter? Can you give me the address of a recently painted house so I can look at it?” Makes sense. “You are a publicist. Can you show me a book that somebody paid you $100 to promote, and they got $1000 in sales? You can’t?” Hmm.

I find publicists are glorified spammers. They take your $ and send out spam, Twitter spam, Instagram spam, text spam, website banners, or other spammy muck. There is no way they can directly show how our hard-earned $$ leads to reader interest or sales. Plus, spam angers potential customers.

I read stories of miracle publicists on the Facebook group Writers Helping Writers. After inquiring with the author about them and contacting the publicist, I learned they were riding on the coattails of a successful book.

Side note. There is a business here, but I have yet to crack the nut that will lead to successful promotion.

Start a blog on your website, Facebook, Goodreads, and any other site you can find. Keep your blog fresh, post at least once a week, and mention your book often. Your topics should be books, writing, life, and light topical subjects—no heavy stuff like politics.

Make a YouTube promotion video of your book. Or beg your famous YouTube friend who knows the trade. The problem is that ~10K videos come out weekly, making it hard to stand out.

There are Facebook groups for authors and books. For example, Writers Helping Writers. Post as often as you can, but don’t be a pest, and do not directly plug your book, or you will be booted off.

There are online reading groups. Tread lightly when you make your plug so they don’t kick you off.

Pay for an advertising campaign on Amazon to up your search ranking. Paying them seems counterintuitive. Amazon is supposed to do this for free because they are the retailer. If they promote new books and authors, they will sell more books.

Alas, no. Amazon makes you fork over money to up your search rankings. I have not tried paying Amazon because I want 100 reviews first. Nobody will buy an unreviewed book, no matter how often it appears in searches.

Do an advertising campaign on Barns and Nobel or Kubo. They seem to be much better at promoting books.

Keep a record of all your advertising efforts for taxes and understanding what works and what does not.

Last but not least, write more books. The more you have, the more you can market on the same dime. It only takes one success! “Hey, I loved Bill’s book Interviewing Immortality. Why not read his other book, Pushed to the Edge of Success or Cable Ties.” See what I did there? I snuck in a plug. Plug, plug, plug! Everywhere you can! This is a numbers game!

Unfortunately, that’s all I have about book promotion, and I feel your anger. “There have to be more options. When I search on ‘book promoting,’ I get a hundred hits.”

Let’s explore what these sites offer. 90% do two things. First, they spam. Do you read spam? Do you want your brilliant book to be associated with that kind of “gray” marketing? Second, they “tweet to 10,000 followers.” How does this help you? Having 10,000 nobody’s Tweet to 10,000 nobody’s. Do these people even speak English? Are computers tweeting to computers? Where is the proof they did what they claim? A computer printout? An angry letter from Twitter telling them to stop spamming?

When paying for advertising or promoting, understand the Return On Investment. This is the relationship for advertisement payments and your profit. All established marketing companies 100% understand this question, and 40% can competently answer it. If they cannot, you are wasting your money.

You may find a website that offers to promote your book on their “heavily visited site.” When you pay, you will see your book on their front page. Here is the issue. The only place readers go to find out about what books to read is Goodreads or Smashwords. (Umm, perhaps Amazon.) They do not care about other sites. Those “heavily visited sites” only exist to extract money from authors. If you look, you will see they all look the same, and I suspect one company runs them.

Many sites offer package deals. A combination of the Tweet/spam/put your book on their worthless site. Or they “manage” your Amazon advertising campaign. Or they “promote you on Google.” You can pay Google and Amazon directly to up your rank and do not need help.

Side note. If you have a unique title like Interviewing Immortality (see, I plugged my book again), then it will usually pop up first. Having your book for sale on many sites greatly helps. For example, I pay nothing, and my book is the first hit when I google “Interviewing Immortality.” See, I plugged my book a third time. This is a numbers game!!

I was Facebook messaged today by a guy who wanted to “up my brand awareness.” Here is his run-on sentence pitch:

I will do a strategic awareness your brand on some high-score social media platforms to increase awareness of your brand, generate real, active, and organic traffic from any country of your choice (USA, UK, Germany, Spain), and so on targeting those who will be particularly interested in the genre of book of your book . You will also gain a wide range of other effective results through my work.

“High-score social media platforms” = SPAM And the mathematically backed return on investment report is… Did you spot the extra space before the period?

What about book bloggers? They certainly can promote your work. The problem is that they require $$ without guaranteeing they will even read your book. Plus, they are arrogant and will give you a rotten review even after you pay. If you read/watch one of their negative reviews, you will see their sense of pride as they tear a book apart. Study their online content first, and be careful!

What about getting your book on a list of “100 outstanding books you have to read.” Hard to say, but it is worth investigating. Make sure you are not paying for this option. Your work should stand on its own.

In 2021 somebody reached out to interview me on the radio! Of course, I was interested!!! Turns out… For only $60, they would turn my book cover into a 3D animation that loops on a YouTube video. The audio (read by a computer) was me answering (over email) six questions I asked myself.

I searched YouTube and found several videos posted by the person who messaged me. She uploaded the first in 2015. Guess how many views it got by 2021? Two! This person’s most popular video (an odd religious rant in English and Italian) received eight views. (It was eight because I accidentally clicked on it twice.) The lesson is to be careful. Many people want to separate you from your cash.

Wait, I know what you are thinking. “Bill probably does not know a thing about internet marketing because his sales are in the toilet.” Well, I am not bragging, but I do.

The entire purpose of those patents was to define, clarify, justify, quantify, and improve one number. Return On Investment (ROI) And, if my boneheaded partner did not have a mental breakdown because he feared success, I would be a multi-billionaire. Yes, this is 100% true. Did I mention he was a BONEHEAD!!!!! I want to repeat it. John, you are a complete BONEHEAD!!!!! Hey blog readers, thanks for letting me vent.

I know, not inspiring you. Book promoting is a tough road. More challenging than selling a product or service. I started this journey with the idea that I would instantly get popular (because I wrote a fantastic book), and the checks would roll in. I now understand how profound this fantasy was. Yet, things are not as bad as they seem. You now know the pitfalls, the questions to ask, where to market, and how much effort is required.

You’re the best -Bill

April 08, 2023

Hey book lovers, I published three! Please check them out.

Interviewing Immortality is a psychological thriller about a 500-year-old woman who forces a disgraced author to interview her.

Pushed to the Edge of Survival is a drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

Cable Ties is a classic spy novel about two hunters discovering that government communications are being recorded and the ensuing FBI investigation.

These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

#writing #publishing #marketing #Promoting

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