#When I see notes like this it makes my heartache even worse.

[grahamophone]

[slut4thebroken]

Closure

── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pairing | Jason Todd x reader

Summary | Under The Red Hood rewrite

Warnings | angst, fluff, murder lol

Words | 4k

Notes | My coping mechanism after watching under the red hood

Ao3 link | <3

Masterlist

Blinding rage. That was all you felt as you stared at Bruce who was silent, waiting for your response. But even through all of the rage you still felt like you misheard him, that this couldn’t be true. 

“What?” You whispered, expression cold but on the verge of shattering any second now. 

“I’m sorry. But you have to understand, this isn’t the same Jason you knew,” 

“How long?” You asked, completely ignoring his response. 

“What?” Everything he was doing was making your blood boil. 

“How long have you known?” You gritted, vision going blurry with tears as your eyes started burning. He sighed and looked away from you for a moment. 

“Three weeks.” Despite your throat starting to close up and the nausea building in your stomach, you forced yourself to respond. 

“You knew he was alive for three weeks and you didn’t tell me?” You swore you almost saw him flinch at your tone. 

“I couldn’t have you going off and doing something to get yourself killed. Like I said, he’s not the same.” His calmness just added more fuel to the fire that was your burning rage. 

“What, you needed time to “take care of him” without me possibly intervening?” You spat. 

“No! I was trying to help him.”

“Bullshit! You really expect me to believe that you give two fucks about him when you put “a good soldier” on his memorial? He thought of you as a father.” The more your voice raised, the more it started to break. “If you really were trying to help him, you would have included me.” 

“I couldn’t have you getting hurt.”

“Stop acting like you were protecting me! Stop acting like anything he could do would be worse than how I felt after he died. You watched me grieve, Bruce. You-” Cutting yourself off with a choked sob, you looked away from him as hot tears burned a trail down your face. “You watched me sit by his grave and cry for hours.” You let out a shaky breath, trying to calm down. 

“You may have lost a soldier, but I lost the love of my life.” 

“I understand what you’re feeling-“

“No!” You screamed, then quickly lowered your voice again. “You don’t. You knew-” You swallowed down a sob and shoved his chest, not moving him at all. “You knew he was alive for weeks and you didn’t tell me.” Another shove. When he once again barely even swayed, you just continued hitting his chest, feeling your rage turn back into the heartache you’ve become accustomed to. “You knew- how could you not tell me?” There were hardly any words that didn’t break while you were speaking. You started hyperventilating the more you cried and the more you thought. 

Would he be as happy to see you as you would be to see him? Would he even want to see you? What if he doesn’t feel the same anymore? Bile rose in your throat at the thought. You genuinely aren’t sure if you can handle that on top of everything. 

Distantly, you heard Bruce calling your name, felt his hands on your shoulders. When you finally came out of your thoughts, you pushed away from him and ran to the front door. He called out, asking where you were going and saying it wasn’t safe to drive in your current state but you ignored him. He already knew where you were going. You wasted no time getting on your motorcycle and driving toward the city. 

You tried to clear your head long enough to figure out where he might be. But if this isn’t the Jason you remember, then all of that information is useless. You went through all of your conversations with Bruce and Alfred, even Dick. But you couldn’t remember any slip ups. It didn’t help that Bruce had been extra secretive this past month. Lastly, you tried to think of just anything a little weird that has happened recently. At first nothing came to mind, but you skidded to a stop once you remembered. 

Two weeks ago you got a call from an unknown number, which you thought nothing of at the time. You answered with a simple “hello?” and there was nothing on the other end. You only said “hello?” once more before the other person hung up. Could it be him? 

With shaky hands you took your phone out of your pocket and blinked away enough tears to actually see the screen. You stared at the number in your call history for only a moment before pressing it. The phone rang three times before the it was answered. 

“Hello?” You asked, clearing your throat once you heard how raspy your voice was. After just silence, you continued. “If this is who I think it is, please meet me. You know where.” You waited for a reply for only a few seconds, then hung up. 

Placing your phone in your pocket, you turned around and sped off. After only a few minutes, you arrived and hesitated. This is the bike you use on patrol… which means there’s an extra tracker on it… After not much debating, you grabbed it and climbed the fire escape. Once you were on the roof, you sat on the edge as your thoughts consumed you. 

This had been your’s and Jason’s spot since the moment you met because this was actually where you had met. You would sit up here for hours every day and just talk and laugh, sometimes cry and hug. Whatever it was, it was always with Jason. 

This was where he told you he was adopted and that his only condition was that the two of you are a package deal. This was where he told you he was Robin and showed you the suit, excitedly asking your opinion on how it looked. 

This was where you fell in love with him. 

As you cuddled on the rooftop, staring at the minimal stars above, you felt the vibrations of his chest against your cheek as he recited a poem. Truthfully, his soothing voice was lulling you to sleep, but you did your best to stay awake, wanting to keep listening. His fingers brushed through your hair, only aiding in your sleepiness. When he finished, you waited for more, but frowned when he stayed quiet. 

“Another?” You asked softly, leaning your head up to look at him. He gave you a small smile and gently pushed your hair, that had fallen forward, behind your ear. 

“I don’t get why you like it so much.” He was teasing you, but you gave him an honest answer anyway. 

“I like hearing your voice, feeling your chest vibrate. I like that you enjoy poetry so much that you actually memorize it, whether it be purposefully or accidentally.” Under the moon and the dim city lights, you could just barely see his cheeks go pink as he gave you a shy smile.  

“And I like knowing that you only recite poems to me. Feels like it’s our thing, you know?” Makes me feel special- like I’m the only girl in the world, is what you wanted to say. 

“How do you know I’m not reciting poetry to anyone else?” He mused. 

“Because you don’t have any other friends.” You chuckled, but it died off when you watched his smile start to fade. 

“I’m not sure I have any friends.” He said quietly, placing his palm on your cheek. You furrowed your brows in confusion for a moment, the second you understood, your eyes widened and your lips parted. 

You prayed that you didn’t misunderstand the meaning behind his words, then whispered, “I’m not sure I do either.” Suddenly very aware of your proximity, you felt your cheeks grow warm as your gaze fell to his lips. You couldn’t tell which one of you was moving forward, inching closer, only stopping once his lips brushed yours, making your eyes flutter shut. The anticipation only lasted another second before he moved his hand to the back of your neck and pulled you into a kiss. It was a little awkward, you struggled to concentrate because of the butterflies in your stomach and the way your head felt light, but you never wanted to stop. When he pulled back, you were both panting, foreheads pressed together and eyes still shut, trying to catch your breath. 

“I’ve wanted to do that for so long.” He whispered. You pulled back just enough so you could see him and he was mirroring your love sick grin. 

“Me too.” You whispered back, bringing your hand up to cup his cheek. You brushed your thumb over his lower lip, thinking about how you know what they feel like now and how they’re so much better than you imagined. 

“Another?” You said through a breath, forcing your gaze away from his lips to his eyes. 

“Poem or kiss?” The corners of his lips turned up as he glanced at your lips briefly. 

“Both.” 

You tried coming here after he died, hoping it would make you feel closer to him and give you a little bit of happiness in your otherwise dull world. Instead, you sobbed harder than you ever have in your entire life and haven’t been up here since. 

Absentmindedly trailing your fingers over your initials carved onto the brick ledge, you let out a shaky breath. You’ve dreamed about this time and time again, but never in those fantasies had you been so scared. 

A soft noise from behind you made you whip your head around. You clambered to your feet as you took in the man only a few feet from you. He was wearing a red helmet and what looked like causal tactical gear along with an assortment of weapons. This man was slightly bigger than you remembered, but it had to be him. You don’t know what you’ll do if it’s not. 

“Jason?” You croaked, willing yourself not to break down crying right now. You took a step toward him and when he took one away from you, you froze, heart aching even more. 

“Jason, I- please let me see you… Let me help you.” You begged, feeling your eyes start to burn again. 

“Funny. Bruce said almost the same thing.” Despite his words, there was no humor in his voice. 

“I’m not him.” You reminded. “I can help you, Jay. Please let me help you.” Your voice broke as you begged him. 

“You can’t!” He yelled, your heart breaking at the way his voice cracked. You took another step forward and when he didn’t move back, you kept going until you were standing in front of him. 

“Please let me see you.” You whispered. He didn’t move for a few seconds, probably deciding what to do. But eventually, he slowly lifted gloved hands and removed the helmet, letting it drop to the floor. You let out a choked sob as you finally saw him- saw that he was really here. His eyes, surrounded by a domino mask, were red rimmed and blood shot, lips pink and swollen as if he was biting them. 

“I’m sorry.” You whimpered through a sob. “I’m so sorry, Jason.” You brought your hands up to his face and he flinched back, but let you gently place them on his cheeks. 

“I missed you so much.” You whispered, swallowing down another sob. He closed his eyes and leaned into your touch. You wanted to ask how he’s alive, why he never came to see you, if he’s okay, if he missed you too. But you never got the chance. 

“You can’t see me anymore.” He said quietly, making your stomach drop. 

“What?” You breathed. 

“What I’m doing- it’s too dangerous for you to be associated with me.” 

“I don’t care what this risk is. No pain is worse than not being with you.” 

“I know.” He muttered. 

He stood well within the tree line, being extra cautious to not get caught. But he had to see you. Had to make sure you were okay, that you had moved on and were happy with your life. 

But that’s not what he found at all. Instead, he found your obviously malnourished and sleep deprived body sitting in front of his grave. At first you were just talking, he was just far enough that he couldn’t hear your words. But then you started sobbing. 

You sat in front of his headstone and just cried. The visual made him sick to his stomach. He ached to walk up to you, hug you until you stop crying like he would do on the rooftop all those years ago. But he remained hidden, only leaving after Alfred had brought you back inside. He was glad you at least had Alfred, since Bruce wasn’t equipped to help people deal with their grief properly. 

Only a week later, he called you. The second he heard your voice, he was just frozen. After he heard your voice again, he quickly hung up and then just fell to his knees and cried. He hadn’t felt that weak since the day he died. 

“I know. But I can’t lose you.” He added, tears welling in his eyes. 

“Jason, please. Whatever’s going on, I can help. You don’t have to do it alone.” He started shaking his head and bit his lip as he stepped out of your touch. 

“No. I’m not… I'm different, I’m not the same man as before- the one you fell in love with.” 

“I don’t believe that. If it were true you wouldn’t have come here.” 

“I came here to tell you to stay away from me.” He replied coldly, but you were used to his outbursts that were concealing fear and hurt. 

“And the call?” You stared into his blood shot eyes, trying to find some indication that you were right. All he did was stare back, so you moved forward again and wrapped your arms around him. He stiffened and kept his arms by his sides. 

Burying your face in his chest, you took a deep breath. He smelled different than you remembered. More like leather and gunpowder, but he still had that hint of Jason. And then the sob you had been trying to hold in, crawled its way up your throat. As you cried against his chest, you felt his arms tentatively wrap around you. 

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. You barely heard him over the sounds of your cries. “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” The nickname just made you sob harder and you started babbling incoherent pleas against his chest. 

“Please don’t leave, Jay. I can’t lose you again.” You managed to get out, hoping he could understand you through your cries. You tightened your grip around him, but he kept his hands placed lightly on your back, not pulling you into him like he used to. Before you pulled away, you slipped the tracker into his pocket. Honestly, it’d be a miracle if he didn’t find it. 

“Please.” You whispered. 

“I’m sorry.” Were the last words you got before he was grappling away from the building. 

Part of you felt bad for tracking him, but there’s no way in hell you’re letting him get away again. You just hoped he hadn’t noticed it yet. 

As you walked down the hall, the voices got louder until you recognized the one talking as Bruce. 

“But if I do that… if I allow myself to go down into that place… I’ll never come back.” 

“Why? I'm not talking about killing Penguin or Scarecrow or Dent, I’m talking about him. Just him. And doing it because… because he took me away from you.” Your heart broke at the way Jason’s voice trembled. 

“I can’t. I’m sorry.”

“That is so sweet.” Joker… You’d recognize that voice anywhere. You could faintly hear a gun being cocked. 

“Well you won’t have a choice.” Jason gritted. 

“I won’t.” 

“This is what it’s all been about. This. You, me, him. Now is the time you decide.” You heard, what sounded like, wood break as he paused. “If you won’t kill this psychotic piece of filth, I will. If you wanna stop me, you’re gonna have to kill me.” So that’s why the Joker is here. 

“You know I won’t.” 

“I’m gonna blow his deranged brains out! And if you want to stop it, you’re gonna have to shoot me. Right in my face!”

“This is turning out even better than I��d hoped.” Joker exclaimed, probably with a sick smile on his face. You could faintly hear something clatter to the floor and then footsteps. 

“It’s him or me. You have to decide. Decide now! Do it!” Jason only grew angrier the more Bruce ignored him. “Him or me, decide!” The second you heard a gun go off and Jason yell in pain, you ran inside. Jason looked surprised to see you, Bruce kept his face neutral so you weren’t sure if he knew you’d be coming or not, and the Joker looked absolutely fucking delighted. He burst out laughing and you picked up the gun that had fallen near your feet. 

“Daddy and his little boy wonder and now the girlfriend? This just keeps getting better!” 

You scanned Jason’s body, other than his hand he seemed okay. Then your gaze slowly moved to Joker laying at Jason’s feet. You kept the gun at your side but tightened your grip on it as your chest heaved in anger. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Batman starting to walk toward you so you pointed the gun at him, making him freeze. 

“Don’t fucking move.” You spat, watching your hand tremble. Bruce said your name, and the fact that he was so calm right now made you even angrier. 

“You don’t want to do this. You can’t come back from it.” 

“Don’t fucking tell me what I want!” You screamed. “He deserves to die. He- he took everything from me!” Your voice broke and you willed yourself to not start crying right now. 

“Aw look, she’s about to cry.” Joker cooed mockingly. 

“Shut up!” You yelled, pointing it back to the man on the floor and gritting your teeth. You were ready to put a bullet in his head, but you wanted him to suffer first. So you aimed it at his leg and pulled the trigger. And he laughed. He just laughed. Batman moving toward you again made you point it back at him. 

“Unless you want one too, I’d stay there.” You growled, specifically aiming for the part of his face not covered by the mask. You don’t want to kill Bruce. But if he gets in your way… you have enough rage that you might try. He stopped moving, but then turned to Jason. 

“You can stop this. You’re the only one who can get through to her.” 

“And why would I do that? She deserves some closure after what he put her through.” He all but shrugged, gesturing to the Joker. 

“This isn’t closure and you know that.” 

“Right,” You scoffed, “because closure is putting him in Arkham just so he can escape again.” You understood Bruce’s morals and why he does things the way he does, but after maybe the fifth time of Joker escaping, you at least would have figured something else out to keep him away permanently. “The fact that you’re not willing to kill the sick fuck who murdered your own son just so you can keep up this little game you two have, makes you just as bad as him. Maybe even worse.” 

“Batsy and I just have a special connection.” You didn’t even bother replying, you just fired the gun at his other leg, then pointed it back to Bruce. 

“He’s dying tonight.” You said, voice eerily calm. “Who pulls the trigger is up to him,” You motioned to Jason, but kept your eyes on Bruce, “but he’s not leaving here without a bullet in his head.” 

“Don’t do this. It won’t change what happened and you know that.” Bruce said, making you scoff. 

“I don’t care. You’re telling me if the man who killed your parents was right in front of you, you wouldn’t kill him?” He didn’t reply. He just stared at you and clenched his jaw slightly. 

“Jay, you or me?” You said, turning your head toward him but keeping your eyes on Bruce. 

“Bats, you’re just going to let them kill me?” He asked, probably with a smirk. 

“Go ahead, sweetheart. I had my fun before you got here.” You didn’t have to look at him to know he was smirking. 

“Hold off the bat, will you?” You asked, knowing Bruce would make some last minute move to stop you. 

“I remember it like it was yesterday.” The Joker smirked, looking up at you. “Poor little Robin, bleeding out, crying… waiting for you to come save him. Why is it that you never came?” You shot him in the stomach and Jason moved between you and Bruce when he started walking forward to stop you. 

“Did you not love him enough? Was he not worth saving?” He jeered, then started laughing. You slowly stalked toward him until you were standing above him. 

“You’re lucky I don’t have more time. I’d like to see you try to laugh after I cut out your tongue.” You spat. Lifting your leg, you put your foot on top of the hole in his thigh and pushed down, making him cry out. By now, everything else had drowned out. All you could focus on was him. The man who murdered the love of your life. Any doubts you might’ve had were immediately erased with that thought. 

“Any last words?” You spoke bitterly, leaning closer to his face. He opened his mouth to speak and you pulled the trigger, making him instantly fall to the floor, a pool of blood growing around his head. 

“No!” You heard distantly, but you ignored it and savored the moment. You never thought in a million years thought you’d have the opportunity to do what you’ve dreamed of. And now that you have, it’s like a weight was lifted off your shoulders. 

A hand on your arm pulled you back and you watched as Bruce towered over you, taking the gun and tossing it across the room. 

“What? Disappointed you’ll have to find a new person for your sick game?” 

“He would have paid for what he did-“

“He did pay. With his life.” You said sternly, pushing him away and standing up. You walked toward Jason, who had a new bruise on his face, and heard Bruce’s steps behind you. When Jason held up a detonator, he froze. He pushed the button and immediately grabbed your waist and pulled you to the window. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he jumped out and fired a grappling hook up to the closest building. As you landed, the bomb went off. 

“Do you think he made it out?” You asked. 

“Without a doubt.” He scoffed a laugh and you turned to him with a small smile. “We should probably leave though.”

“Before he has a chance to get to us.” You added with a nod. 

A week later, you were laying on the couch in Jason’s safe house with your feet on his lap. Both of you were reading a book, the tv quietly playing “breaking news” about Joker's death, until you spoke up. 

“Do you think I shouldn’t have killed him?” You asked, biting your lip and looking at him over your book. He paused and moved his own book to his lap as he looked at you. 

“I think if it’s haunting you, then you shouldn’t have. I would’ve done it instead. But if you’re glad he’s dead because of you, then no I don’t.” You mulled his words over in your head. Despite the fact that you got what you wanted, you felt… unfulfilled. 

“Should we have done it differently? Taken him somewhere so we could do more than just shoot him?” Before Jason’s death, you never under any circumstances would’ve admitted to regretting killing someone and wishing you had tortured them first instead. But grief can change a person... 

“Sometimes I think about that too. But I’m just glad he’s dead. Plus, he suffered plenty, what with you shooting him three times before killing him and all.” He chuckled almost proudly. 

“Aw man…” You whined, suddenly getting sad, making him confused. 

“What?” 

“I should’ve shot him in the dick.” You sighed and he burst out laughing. You smiled but didn’t laugh with him, too focused on finally seeing him happy since before he died. His laughter trailed off and he looked at you with pink cheeks. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He asked with a nervous smile. 

“I just- I like seeing you happy.” 

“You are so cheesy, you know that?” He chuckled, the love sick grin on his face mirroring yours. 

“I may be cheesy, but at least I’m not lit-nerd cheesy. I mean for god's sake, you literally recite poetry to me.” You smirked, making him scoff. 

“Fine. I guess I won’t anymore, since you hate it so much.” You could tell he wasn’t being serious, but your smirk dropped anyway. 

“Don’t you dare.” You warned, playfully narrowing your eyes at him. 

I’m so sorry idk how to end this lmao

[mymuseagustd]

#3 All I Want Is A Break

Angsty cause this job hunting process is relentless. 

Y/N and Yoongi are best friends, then lovers, until he decides he wants to find out what life can be without her. 

Pairing: Yoongi x female reader + Taehung 

Genre: Non-IdolAU / Angst / Smut in the next part 

Warnings: Curse words/ heartache/ it’s quite angsty and will have smut if we continue. 

Word count: 3.8K+

Note: Picked up my old writing to give it something new. Let me know how you like it? 

---

It's strange. I'm standing in front of him. I know him. I know this man inside out. Have you ever stood in front of someone you have known your entire life, but they suddenly felt like a stranger to you? I could hear him speaking, and he was not making sense to me. 

"Don't you want to, maybe, see other people? Know how they are? Know how you'll be with them? Will you be someone different, or will you be the same? I mean, you and I know each other inside out. But, we don't know how anybody else is! We don't know how great or, even worse, it might be if we are with other people. Don't you ever feel like finding out?"

This was Yoongi, my Yoongi. My best friend since we were 7, boyfriend since - did it matter? He wanted to explore being with other people. 

"Think about it, Y/N," He didn't stop. "Jae and I were discussing this. How the different relationships change you, and how they make you grow? Have you never thought about this? Don't look at me like that," He rolled his eyes. 

He rolled his eyes as I stared, sitting in front of him, my brain trying to catch up and pre-empt his next dialogue. 

"It's been too long? Don't you feel so? We have always been together! Exploring, or even I don't know, taking a break isn't a bad idea. To just discover ourselves…" He took another sip of the beer he had poured for us. My glass remained untouched. His, refilled twice, was almost empty. 

This entire week had felt off. It felt like the music had changed, and I didn't know the artist anymore. He went on. His life-changing discussion with our friends. Our friends? His friends. Life-changing decisions, all in the two dinners I missed. "It's just a break. Nothing more," His decision was made. When my boyfriend decided something, he went through with it. "We spend some time apart from each other. I'll go live with Jae, and we can just explore and see life without each other in our lives. Just a small break," He said so easily.

"You're my best friend." My first words as I tried to make sense of the situation. He had been my best friend since 7. We did everything together since we were 7. And, when we started dating, I needed no one else. 

"And you're mine. But, listen to me," he took my hands in his, pulling me out of my static stance, and shaking me up to see what was happening. "We need to know who we are, without each other too. I think it is healthy for me to want that. I'm not saying I want to break up. I just want a break from yo-" I pulled my hands away. "That's not what I mean." He realised he fucked up with the wrong words. Like he had not been fucking up till now. I knew him inside out. 

Maybe he could see the betrayal on my face or the tears welling up in my eyes. I was having an out-of-body experience. It felt like I could see myself breaking down, but that hurt hadn't seeped in yet. "What I mean is, I just want to know life as a person of my own. Who I am without us being together cause we have been together was so long. I want to know, do I actually like apple pie, or do I like it because you like it? That discussion just had me thinking if I can be the best for you if I'm not my own person." 

"So, you're basically saying that you don't want me in your life anymore?" I frowned.

"Don't be dramatic," He sighed. 

I laughed. "That's literally what you just said." 

"I don't know why you aren't getting this." He raised his voice. "You know, Maria said you won't get it, and you don't." he shook his head, and sat back. 

"Maria said that I won't get it? You've known these people for a month. You've known me for years!" I couldn't stop the tears. "But, it's not about them. If you want to break up with me, have the fucking balls to do it. Don't come at me with, 'I don't know who I am/ we have always been together.' Straight up, tell me you don't want me anymore." I walked back towards our room so I could pack a duffle bag and get out of this apartment.

"That's not it. I just want a break. We are in university, in a new environment. This is the perfect time for it. Y/N!" He shouted as I stuffed my clothes in a bag. "Where are you going? You don't know anyone. We are literally just discussing," He was technically right. All my friends were his friends. It had always been like that. Yoongi socialised, and I tagged along. It had been a month since we started uni, and even though our courses were different, we lived together, and I spent time hanging out with his friends more than I cared to make mine. 

"We aren't, though. You are breaking up with me," I collected my stuff from our shared dresser and quickly dumped my laptop and books in my backpack. I would have to come back and collect my stuff, but this should hold me for a few days. 

"It's a break!" He yelled. "You're still my best friend! You'll always be my best friend," He yelled as I tried to walk past him. "You'll always have that place in my life. Where the hell are you going!?"

"But that's it, right? You want this place gone." I could see the confusion on his face. He hadn't thought this through. "What does 'explore and see life without each other in our lives' even mean? Do you want us to pretend we don't know each other? So, you can have your experiment with how your life would be if we," I gestured between us, "never existed? Tough luck. We did. And, you don't erase the past. You move on." 

"I feel like I am talking to a wall, Y/N," he said, exasperated. 

"What am I supposed to understand? That my boyfriend came home today after meeting his friends to tell me that he wants to take a break because he has been with me for far too long. What even is this reason? Thanks for being the cliche of the century. You want to see different things? Who is stopping you? But you want to explore what is out there and still hold on to me, in case you realise that being alone, maybe, isn't for you. I'm not an option, Yoongi." I dropped my bags to the ground so I could call myself a cab.

"It's not about options at all. I just…you are twisting my words. I don't want to make you feel like you're an option but haven't you ever felt the need to want something more?" He questioned. "That maybe there is something worth more out there?" His eyes were wide. He had misspoken again. 

It was like a knife running through my chest. I couldn't believe this was my best friend. That this man in front of me was the love of my life, and he hadn't just degraded me. "All the best. I hope you find what you are looking for. My cab is here." I ran out, and he ran out after me, but he didn't call. He didn't call me at all. 

—

"He said WHAT?" Zoya and I were four shots down, and I could feel it all hit me at once. 

"He wants to find out if there is something worth more than us being together. He could have just said he wanted to be single and live the uni life. Like all fuckboys out here. What the fuck even is a break?" I was so drunk. 

"Man, I'm sorry. But this is good for you. I can feel it. I'm getting the vibes," Zoya tickled the air. 

"You can feel the vibe?" I looked at her. 

"Yaaa, I caaaannnn!" She slurred. "It'll be difficult. Very, but no time like now." 

"I gotta figure out my housing situation," I threw my head down to the bar table. My bags were behind the bar, or Zoya had thrown them behind the bar cause the bartender was her friend. She was my friend here, and actually, she was my only new friend here. 

"It's sorted. That's why I brought you here! Tae! Tae!" She yelled, flailing her arms, catching the bartender's eye. 

"Okay, Zoya, stay seated, or I will throw you out," The bartender pulled her hands together and made her sit down. 

"Tae, you have an extra room, right?" She asked sweetly. 

"Uh, I do," He said with caution, his eyes flickering between us two. 

"Great! You're looking for a roommate. I have your roommate!" She declared happily.

"You want me to live with a boy?" I looked at her.

"I'm looking for a roommate?" He questioned as well. 

"Yes, you can't live alone. You need company. And Y/N, Tae's place is very, and I mean, very nice. He is the best option at this point in the semester. He technically owns this bar and works here for free because he likes mixology." Zoya kept each hand on one of our shoulders like she was planning a plot. 

"My father owns this bar," Tae clarified. 

"Potehto Potahto," Zoya mumbled, taking a long sip of her long island iced tea. "So, Y/N will take that spare bedroom, and I will come party at your place 'cause it'll finally be interesting!" 

"Zoya bu–" She kept her finger on my lips. 

"But, today we will go to mine 'cause I got some pork ribs that we have to try!" She jumped off and walked towards the exit without looking back. 

Tae helped me with my bags and told another person to take over for him, "Taehyung," He offered his hand for me to shake. "Zoya and I are school friends. I'm studying management here too." 

"Y/N," I smiled. "I've not seen you before, though!"

"It's a big class of, like-what, 70 people? I don't think we share any of our secondary courses, either. Do you share them with Zoya?" He asked, walking me outside. 

"Yes, Contemporary Issues in Competitive Strategy," I told him. 

"I think I'm taking that next sem. Zoya, my car's in the parking lot. Let's go," He called for her, and she happily ran towards us. 

—

"This is a big apartment. Are you sure you don't mind me here? Zoya just kinda dumped it -" It was pretty well done as well. Only the room, which would be mine, just had a bed. 

"No, I think it'll be fun. My father's assistant has kinda overdone it. But, you can name a household appliance, and I think you'll find it here," He laughed. 

"Oh nice, what's your rent?" I asked so I could decide if I could afford the division. The apartment Yoongi and I shared was a gift from his parents, so thankfully, we had just furnished it. I knew I'd need to rediscuss my finances, but I think I would be very comfortable if I got a part-time job. 

"I own this place. My father believes in buying, not renting," He explained. "But, I'm sure we can agree on something," He smiled. 

Moving in with Tae was easy. Zoya helped me pack my stuff the next day when I knew Yoongi would be out, and since he still had not called or dropped a text, I went in and got the rest of my personal stuff when he was in classes. Tae and I went shopping for furniture for my room and other utilities in the evening, and before I knew it, I had already moved into another house in all of one day. Two days before this, I was in bed with Yoongi as he told me some hilarious joke which was considered Architecture 101, and now I was in a completely different building, alone. 

"You haven't moved," Tae stood in front of my room. He had helped me unpack and set everything up with Zoya. "I left you right here, like 30 mins ago," He laughed. I'm sure Zoya had him filled on my history and heartbreak. 

"Yoongi must have just gotten back to the apartment. Do you think he'll call when he sees my stuff gone?" I asked Tae with tears in my eyes. 

Tae pouted and came and sat next to me, "if he calls, will you pick up?" He asked. I shook my head. "If he calls, will you feel better?" I shrugged because I didn't know what to feel. It was all happening so fast. 

"I am apologizing in advance for not being an amazing roommate for the next few…my heart is breaking right now," I couldn't stop my tears. 

"Sleep. I promised you a welcome breakfast, so you need to be up for it," Tae tried, nudging my shoulder. 

—

I kept out of Yoongi's way. It was great that our majors were different, and our classes were on the opposite side of the campus. In a week, I found a routine that didn't collide with his at all. If I saw him at the coffee house, I hid. If I saw him on the way to the library, I went the opposite direction. 

'I hope you're okay.' 

The last text from him was three days old. Did he know where I was? Who was I with? Was I okay? 

I kept my word, and I disappeared from his life. It was killing me. How do you get rid of a habit? I woke up in sweats. I couldn't breathe, my chest contracting within itself at the thought of him. The only time I ate was when Tae and Zoya were around, and our routine was extremely hectic.

A month into it, the pain sort of became a habit. My course and my internship did not leave me any time to think. When I did catch a moment, it was spent laughing with Taehyung, who was an incredible roommate. We made friends in our course, so we had a group ready for adventure as the weekend hit, and I was kind of glad that I had no time to process anything because the day always started with me standing in front of the mirror, prepping myself to be happy and confident. It didn't matter that the love of my life didn't think I was enough. I was enough for me. I grew up in a loveless household; I knew what it felt like. But, by the evening, I was just numb. 

There had been no contact with Yoongi. And Ava, a new friend of mine, taught me tricks to cope and distract myself. "If you're not ready to process it, you don't have too," She had been in therapy for the longest time, and always had words of wisdom. 

Yoongi was all over the place. There were photos all over the insta. 

'Finally single' was a caption on his friend Zack's post, and I had lost a whole day on it. I realised that during the initial month of uni, I had not made any friends. All I had were his friends, and what it felt like was that they just tolerated me. Even the ones I had truly connected with did not text me after, and it had me really looking back on all my friendships through the years. I always connected through Yoongi. I always only really needed him, He was truly my confidant, my best friend, and I didn't have the need for more. 

I was made strong, though. It has been two months, so it clearly wasn't a short break. I finally told my parents and made them promise they wouldn't say anything to Yoongi's parents if it didn't come from them and that they won't contact him. 

'All I need is myself' was his insta post with a picture of a glass of whisky held against the view of the sunset.

—

"Have you spoken to her since?" Tara asked Yoongi as he fiddled with his drink. 

"No," He took another gulp. No indication was needed on who was being mentioned.

"How are you holding up?" She asked. She liked Y/N. She liked them together. She didn't really agree with the narrative Jae and Sara had built up. But Jae didn't understand relationships, and Sara had the hots for Yoongi. 

"It's only a break. I just need to know who I am," He said, more to himself. The last two months had been so strange. He was so angry at first. His girlfriend refused to understand his point of view, decided they were broken up like she decided on most things on her own, and had moved out all in one day. She came when he wasn't in the house and packed her stuff, leaving the key on the kitchen table with no note. He was furious. 

Then, he found out she had moved in with another guy who she had never mentioned before. Did he even know her? Taking a break was making more sense. She didn't respond to his message, hid from him or changed directions if he was around. She was his best friend. He knew he had asked for this, but not like this. He honestly thought if they spent a little time apart, it would bring them closer and give him clarity as well. 

His parents were talking about marriage, and they had just started uni. From living with his parents, he started living with Y/N, and he was excited until he had this whole conversation about how life can be different. And, he wanted the chance to at least to understand what it could be to be able to decide if he even wanted it. Wasn't being young all about this? He missed his best friend. He missed Y/N every night he walked into their apartment, and he started spending the least amount of time in it, sleeping on the couch instead of their bed or Jae's spare bedroom to save himself from thinking too much. 

"You can also find out who you are with her, you know. Jae isn't exactly right, and he was always jealous of what you had with -" She was cut off as Jae jumped on Yoongi. 

"My man!" He yelled in his year. "We gotta get you laid this evening! Fuck I gotta get laid!" 

—

"Fuck, why have they given us a week off? I have five papers to write!" Tae screamed as he entered the apartment. 

"I got three papers and two presentations," I counted. "You have to be my dummy for prep. Presentations freak me out." I told him. Taehyung had a habit of shedding his clothes as soon as he entered the apartment. At this point, it was weird if he was in more than one layer inside the flat. I was sure I would not have been standing if I didn't have him around. 

"I think we should go clubbing today. Go clubbing today, work tomorrow if we are not hungover, then hike the day after, and then we can relax and get to our assignments." He wrote down our plan of action on the big whiteboard wall that he and Miles, our newly formed friend from the bar, had drunk installed one night. 

"Yuck. I hate clubs," I groaned. 

"Wear your sexiest dress. I should be drooling," He instructed. 

"Yuck." 

Miles was studying architecture like Yoongi. He actually knew me, having crossed paths during one of the many meetups I had accompanied Yoongi too. "I can give you goss on the enemy side," he had offered as he sat next to me on the bar stool. Tae was experimenting with a new mix, and I was his taste tester, and also a bit tipsy from all the alcohol I was testing. 

"What's the goss?" I asked. 

"Are you ready? Emotionally?" Miles asked, giving me a warning. 

"Sure," I laughed.

"That group is way, way more boring now that you are not there!" 

I giggled, "you're very sweet, Miles. The last I remember of you was that you didn't speak a word after I told my cliff-jumping story!" 

"The cliff-jumping story was hilarious! I fell a little bit in love with you," He said, making me choke on my drink. "I'm joking!" He laughed. "You'll have to tell me a couple more to have me!" 

He was the perfect fit for our little group and assured me that I could stand without Yoongi. 

"I can't believe you're taking me clubbing tonight," Miles groaned as he met us downstairs." Ava cancelled. I think we should run away, too," He held my hand, flirting. 

"You guys are the worst!" Tae whined. "We are young, and hot, and dancing is the way to get laid. Please let's just go!" 

"I'm surprised you want to get laid when Zoya is going to be there," I took his arm, and wrapped mine around it.

"Till the time she sees that I am her true love, I need to get by," He pouted. Tae was quite infatuated with Zoya, and Zoya had no clue. She thought he was fond, and they had been buddies through school. He didn't want to change their dynamic and was hoping she'll suddenly realise he had been there all along. 

"There is nothing like true love," I said. 

"Hush," He pulled me closer. "Let me dream." 

We were greeted inside the club by Zoya, who, in no time, had already poured three shots down our throats. I hadn't eaten much, so the alcohol hit me faster and stronger. "You look so fucking sexy," Zoya whispered as she twirled me around. I had lost weight in the last two months, so I felt less beautiful cause I wasn't as healthy and fit as I kept myself, but I couldn't help smiling big as she complimented me. 

We were closer to the dancing area, so I looked around for a place we could take up and keep our bags when I saw him. My smile disappeared, and my body went cold. It felt like a deep wound had ripped open again, and I was bleeding. 

"What happened-" Zoya's eyes followed mine to see Yoongi on the first floor, his arms around the waist of a girl stuck to his body as they laughed. 

—

PART 2

A friend of mine went through something similar, and it got me thinking of how people look at relationships. 

©mymuseagustd@2023

[ghostofskywalker]

weep not for what you've done, but rather who you've lost along the way

Commander Cody/Fem!Jedi!Reader

Words: 3,345

Summary: It wasn't supposed to happen like this, the man you loved wasn't supposed to be the one to end your life. And to make matters worse, you had to keep reliving it, over, and over, with no end in sight and no clear reason why you were subjected to a torture worse than your darkest nightmare.

yearofcreation2023 flower and meaning: june: marigold || despair and grief over the loss of love

@clonexreaderbingo square: heartache

Warnings: ANGST, character death (in a time loop), slightly graphic description of violence

Author's Note: i don't do angst often, but when i do, i make myself cry while writing apparently. half of the fact this even exists is because of the lovely @homie-one-kenobi, who ages ago encouraged me to embrace the angst in my soul and lent me her roll of "time loop" and "order 66" from the roll for clone prompt list i made.

Year of Flowers Masterlist • Clone Troopers Masterlist

From across the holotable, you caught Commander Cody’s eye. The smile on his face was meant only for you, a secret code that no one else had the privilege of understanding. You tried to pay attention what the holos of Obi-Wan and Anakin were saying, but it was hard when you could be staring into the commander’s eyes instead. You were rarely assigned to assist the 212th with their campaigns, so every chance you got was taken with an enthusiasm that you were sure must have worried Master Yoda. 

You loved him, there was no mistaking this feeling. 

And while you weren’t sure if he felt as strongly about you, the kiss you had shared in the booth at 79’s the last time you were on leave was an indication that he was certainly willing to see where your relationship went. 

Once the briefing was over and you were alone with him, you couldn’t help but smile and stare into his eyes. He must have noticed your pensive expression, because he caught your attention by softly saying your name. “Is everything alright?” 

“Do you think this war will ever be over?” 

He paused, clearly not having expected that question to come out of your mouth. But you couldn’t help it, this conflict had been nothing but an pain-filled toil with no end in sight, and the tax it was taking on both you and many of your fellow Jedi was something you feared would never be removed from your lives. “I don’t know,” was his response, and you appreciated that he was telling the truth, rather than simply sugar-coating a dream you weren’t sure would ever come to pass. “I think all we can do is hope that the tide shifts soon.” 

He was right; you had just heard Obi-Wan talk about his plan to corner General Grievous on the other side of the planet, and you were to work with the rest of the troops to provide back-up when necessary, 

War was like the crashing waves on a windy beach. There were brief times like this where you could take a step back and breathe, daydream about kisses to come and take the time to meticulously plan out your next moves, but they were few and far between. A vast majority of the time you were being pulled in every direction, forced to do whatever it took to keep yourself afloat as chaos raged all through the galaxy. And of course, every moment of serenity is ripped away far too quickly by the calloused and unforgiving hands of bloodshed, stealing the what-ifs and future tomorrows of the men you had grown close to. 

With no warning, the droids came. Thousands of them marched across the surface of the planet and you could hear the distant scream of transport ships, meaning more were certainly on their way. The clones jumped into action, and you pushed into the crowd yourself, the beam of your lightsaber twirling gracefully through the air as you severed heads and limbs from the bumbling Separatist infantry. 

With Cody beside you, the droids were no match for the unstoppable force you became. The sound of blaster fire all around you began to dull in your mind as you pushed forward, as more and more of this platoon fell to the ground. For a moment, you couldn’t see if there were any more on the way, and you were about to kill the last droid standing when a shot came from behind you. 

You couldn’t see Cody’s face when you turned to look at him, but you knew he was wearing a smirk under his helmet. “I was going to get him you know,” you said, a playful expression on your face. 

He shrugged and answered with a nonchalant tone. “Well General, maybe next time you need to be quicker.” Stars, you wanted to kiss him right now. 

“Is that challenge, commander?” 

Before he could say anything in response, his communication device started to beep. “Do you think that’s General Kenobi?” he asked. 

“I hope so,” you said. “He’s a fool for taking on Grievous alone, so I hope he’s okay.” 

As Cody stepped away to answer, the sound of another transport ship filled the air, and you turned to watch a small speck of gray whizz through the sky. Motioning to your droid, you called out to Cody that you were going to investigate whatever that was and asking him to let you know whatever he was told. Not wanting to let this ship disappear, you didn’t wait for a response before getting into your ship and taking off, your trusty R3 nestled in the droid port. 

A feeling of dread washed over you instantly, and you could feel some kind of disturbance in the Force. Your ship was climbing through the air without issue though, so you just brushed it off. 

Until you felt something hit just below you. 

There was no time to wonder what was happening, you were under fire and you had to escape it. You turned the controls, intending to land back down and see if any of the men noticed where in the planet’s rocky cliffs the droids had hidden their cannon, but your heart clenched when you noticed another blast barreling towards you, and you were struck with a terrifying realization, that this shot had unmistakably come from Republic artillery. 

Too startled to truly react with enough time, you pulled the controls to the left. The shot clipped one of the wings, the sound of its impact echoing through your mind. Now horribly off balance, your ship rocked through the sky and spiraled at the height in which you had gotten hit. “R3, what’s going on?” you said, heartbeat quickening as you tried to ignore the nagging feeling that you were truly being targeted by your own troops. The droid started to beep something, but the next blast came too quickly for him to finish. 

Before you began hurtling towards the ground, you tried to make sense of what was happening, how your own troops had seemingly turned on you without warning. But it was no use, and the inevitable descent began. 

You were dead before you hit the ground, and even if you hadn’t been, the explosion on impact took care of everything in a few flagrant moments. 

***

From across the holotable, you caught Commander Cody’s eye. The smile on his face was meant only for you, a secret code that no one else had the privilege of understanding.

Wait. 

Something was wrong here. You discreetly looked around the room, desperately trying to figure out why your body was so on edge at this moment. And to make matters more confusing, you seemed to be able to know everything that Obi-Wan and Anakin were saying on the holotable in front of you.  Their plans, their updates, even their mannerisms seemed wholly predictable, as if this was not the first time you had attended this meeting. 

Cody was standing next to you now, and his hand found yours, a gesture that was not visible by anyone else. It was comforting for a fleeing moment, but you felt the overwhelming desire to pull away from him. To your fellow Jedi watching from their own holotables, the commander’s expression did not betray the pain behind his eyes at your simple action, but you saw it to be there, a cocktail of confusion and hurt that made your heart squeeze for a moment. 

He cared for you, that much was obvious. And you cared for him in a way that the Jedi Code would never allow, to the point where you had considered running away from the Order the moment the war was over, starting a new life with the kind and loving commander by your side. 

Soon the meeting was over. 

And then the droids arrived. 

Once again, this moment of tranquility was cut short as you had to become the leader, shoving the peacekeeper inside your heart aside to instead embrace the violent apathy that your rank in this conflict required of you. 

As you cut down the approaching droids in your path, blaster fire echoed through the space as the 212th helped you hold the line. You never worried for yourself in these situations, and these droid in particular were not the most advanced of the bunch. But you seemed to know their attack patterns, and it was in record time that the last of them fell to the ground. 

It seemed like things were going well, but you couldn’t shake that feeling of worry and fear that was slowly taking hold in your stomach. And it only grew when the sound of Cody’s communicator went off not far behind you, signaling that someone was trying to contact him.

It was then that you started to realize what these feelings meant, that somehow you had lived this day before. Was your force sensitivity the reason you were seeing these signals, or did the rest of the troops realize that something was different too? You turned to where Cody was standing a few paces away, his back to you as he spoke to whoever had commed in, most likely Obi-Wan letting everyone know what happened with Grievous. He had taken his helmet off this time, and you noticed it resting on the ground a few paces away. 

“Cody?” you asked as he turned around. “What’s the verdict?”

When he raised his blaster in your direction, you knew without a doubt that something was wrong. 

You dodged the shot when it came, mind racing. “Cody?” you called out again as you ignited your lightsaber. “What’s going on?” 

“You’re a traitor to the Republic.” Even his voice was different now, with a sharpness and a coldness to it that you had never heard before, not even when giving orders in a stressful situation. “You need to be eliminated.” 

The second shot came, and you deflected the blast. The other troopers just stood there and watched as their commander turned on his general, acting as if everything was fine. “What are you talking about?” you called out, tears starting to well in your eyes. Out of all the combat you expected to engage in during this war, one with your own troops was not on that list. 

“You’re a traitor to the Republic,” he said, as if you had not heard him the first time. 

Hearing those words once more cemented your impending fate in your mind, that whatever had happened, you were now under fire. Your survival instincts kicked in, and you took off towards the labyrinth of caves that characterized the landscape of this planet. Blasts echoed all around you, but you deflected what you could and tried to tap into the Force as you ran. 

You heard one of the other men ask what they should do, and the moment your heart truly shattered was when you heard Cody tell them not to do anything, that this was his kill. Once you were far enough away from the rest of the troops, you paused for a moment. 

His kill? 

Last time he called you his anything, it was his General. There were other things you’d hoped he would call you, but this was not one of them. The wave of dread that crashed over your body only grew as you heard footsteps echo at some point behind you. 

You were fast, but clones were genetically engineered to be faster. He threw his body over yours with a flying leap, knocking your lightsaber out of your hands and pushing you to the ground. For a fleeting moment, you got a good look at his face, and the daggers he glared changed everything for you. This was no longer the man you cared about, this was someone desperate to kill. 

And you refused to let that happen. 

Kicking upward, you managed to surprise him enough to wrestle the blaster from his hands, sending it flying across the ground and coming to rest near your saber. But that only gave you a second of advantage, because he pulled a vibroblade from his belt and immediately continued his attack. He hadn’t yet landed a hit on you but it still hurt, because you didn’t want to fight him. This wasn’t the man you had grown to care so much for, but as you dodged, kicked, and wrestled with him, you could feel your resolve growing thin. 

So when you felt the blade pierce your midsection, you had almost made peace with your fate. 

This death was much slower than the last, something you realized as you laid on the ground, acutely aware of the way that blood was staining your robes as it seeped from the wound. Your memories were much clearer now, and you didn’t know if it was a blessing or a curse. 

Maybe you were completely delusional, or maybe the pain and the blood was causing you to see things that weren’t there, but you could have sworn you saw a flash of regret in Cody’s eyes as he pulled the vibroblade out of your abdomen and stood above you, watching and waiting for your next move. 

But if that regret was ever truly there, that emotion was gone from his face just as quickly as it formed, and the pain became too much for you to bear. 

With a final breath, you closed your eyes and prepared to become one with the Force. 

***

Something was wrong, you knew that now. As innocent as the smile on Cody’s face was, all you could think about as the two of you stood at the holotable was what you knew to be coming. There was no pretending anymore, you remembered everything. And not only were you desperate to find away out of this trap, you wanted to find the one reality, the one set of choices, that would allow you to walk away from this experience. 

You had no idea what was happening to the rest of your fellow Jedi, whether or not they were trapped in this same torturous cycle of betrayal and pain. You were afraid of what you’d find if you ever did escape this, afraid of what the galaxy had turned into. But most of all, you were afraid of what you might have to do in order to truly escape. Could you still call yourself a Jedi if you killed the man you loved, even if he was dead set on killing you first? Could you live with the choices you made, even if they were the only option?

Countering the droid attack was easy by now, and you relished the simplicity of it. You beheaded and dismembered the platoon as they attempted to march forward, watching as their parts fell to the ground beside you and almost dancing as you twirled your saber. The clones hadn’t yet turned on you, and you could still trust them to come to your aid. 

Part of you wanted to get in your ship now, to run away before whatever switch they had was flicked, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. Besides, who knew what you would find if you were to return to the Jedi temple and try to warn the others, and they would probably think you were full of bantha shit. So you stayed, and you once again had to watch as the battle finished and Cody received a communication from parties unknown. 

That must be the moment that things all go wrong, you decided, and you covertly used the Force to lift the commander’s blaster from the ground next to him, sending it flying away from both him and the other troops. You received odd looks, but it didn’t matter. 

This time, you could hear what Cody was saying before he fixed his steely gaze on you and declared you a traitor to the Republic. “Execute Order 66.” 

“Cody,” you pleaded, hopelessly wishing that this time would be different, clinging onto the desperate desire that he wouldn’t try to kill you in the next few moments. “Don’t do this.” 

It was a useless effort. 

You already knew that, but it took hearing the word “traitor” from his mouth for you to actually believe it. All noise was dulled in your ears as your mind took over, and once again your survival instinct won over your affections for the man standing in front of you. 

This time was similar to the last version of this day you had lived, where you took off running and tried to escape the fate that Cody had in store for you. And once again you found yourself far away from the rest of the troops by the time he caught up. 

His helmet was on this time, which a part of you appreciated, because you weren’t sure if you could take the pain of seeing his face while you fought. But his vibroblade was out, and you had no intentions of repeating your previous fate. When you used the Force to send his weapon skittering across the floor, an audible growl escaped his mouth, and you pretty much knew what was coming next. 

You had spent your free time sparring with some of the clones before, but never before had you considered that you’d be drawing on those experiences in a bitter fight for your life. It was your unwavering desire to survive that truly kept you going as you swung and kicked at the man who you had kissed in one of the booths at 79’s, who you had dreamed about running away with when the war was over. You doubted he remembered any of that now, but it didn’t make fighting him any easier. 

You threw your arm out in a burst of emotion, harnessing the Force to send the commander flying backwards. The crack of his armor hitting the stone of the cliff made your heart clench, but it was the chance you so desperately needed to get away. It took every ounce of resolve to just leave him there, slumped over on the ground, but you did not want to risk your life once more. 

He stirred once and let out a pitiful groan as you looked back for the last time, and that was enough for you to absolve yourself of this crime. Maybe one day you would be able to see him again, and things could be different, but a delusional fantasy like that one was no use to you now. 

It was something of an immense relief to find your ship completely deserted, the other troopers nowhere to be found. R3 wasn’t there, but you didn’t know if you had the time to wait for him, and you didn’t question this development as you quickly took off, throwing the tiny starship into hyperspace the moment you were far enough away from the painful choices and suffocating memories of the planet.

The fact that you were now completely alone hit first. There was a raw and ragged wave of darkness that washed over you, what you realized must have been the pain and suffering of every other Jedi as they died at the hands of those they trusted the most, their commanders and troops. What were you to do with your life now? Was your escape from this infinite nightmare truly a victory, or did you simply just throw yourself into a new hell? 

The blue streaks of hyperspace used to be a comfort, a testament to the power and sprawling vastness of the galaxy, but now they were just another reminder of what you had done, and what you still had to face. 

There was no stopping the tears that rolled down your face as you screamed to no one in particular, a ugly, guttural noise that communicated every emotion that you couldn’t articulate. But unlike what had happened every instance before, time didn’t reset. No, you were forced to move forward from here. 

There was no other choice. 

- the end -

[kraken-o-doyle]

My delulu brain gives you an assessment of the characters of Blades. Fair warning it's a lot 😂 Enjoy.

Nia, obviously her backstory is literally being snatched up and taught how to use her light from literal birth is controversial to say less. And after joining our party, she began seeing all the things wrong with what she was conditioned to believe - and dear god that would fuick up a person (depends on the matter). Even a year later Nia is struggling with the fact that she is still the shadow creature and I think losing MC made her stronger and less shy, but at the same time yours truly believes she cannot trust anyone - it was only revealed to MC that she is still struggling with the aftermath of Dreadlord dying and turns into this creature when she is in danger BY ACCIDENT OR SHEER DUMB LUCK.(PLOT DEMANDS IT) why is MC still covering for her?????

Imtura at first was literally denying the fact that MC was even alive and to be fair, she is the last person to be recruited into the team in book 1, but in my humble opinion it's evident that Imtura and MC(moi mc)relate more to one another than any other character. And her not making too many friends due to being a ✨princess✨is such BS but you know (I would be more than grateful to be in a princess' corner as a good friend) and as stated in book 1, we weren't told she was a princess because she's a captain of a ship and that way she could keep others' respect before they literally fall over themselves to please her. And when our little party didn't treat her any different before and after knowing who she was, she opened up...

Circling back to Imtura believing MC to be dead; if I was in her position and a friend that I saved the world with just 💨, I would too think they're gone since the other implications are that they are being tortured in a dungeon and bled dry by an empress' daughter. 😳

Mal, sigh, he is just wracked with guilt from losing MC, I kid you not I feel like he made some deals to try and find MC; only for someone like Tyril to find out and absolutely berate him (which is why Tyril in the newest chapter called him reckless). I'm sure there is gonna be more reckless behaviour that Mal had done through the year for both characters to use their first names. And got his stupid ass corrupted by shadow - whether or not he knows if he's infested and becoming a Thrall for the Ash Empire... we'll have to wait and see.

Tyril, from what we know so far tried from beginning to end to find MC (to be honest from what we were told Nia and Mal helped a lot until they stopped? why though - correct me if I am wrong.) even if you are romantically involved or just platonic friends, he literally sees you as an equal and is equally happy to see you back in the land of the living. Him grovelling and desperately trying to find answers on how to find MC shows what type of person he is, but I'm sure he is keeping some feelings or all of them back due to just being happy to have MC back in his life. (And doesn't want to burden MC with his problems)

Aerin better come back because whether or not I missed his jabs at the group and him only having eyes for MC(s phone, do you have some games). But genuinely what did he give the group (only heartache), because if you didn't catch him in book 1 he literally comes in one chapter - takes a stab at MC's celibacy - leaves the next. Where the hell did you crawl off to Aerin, did you go off to finish off someone?the king. Jesus, imagine. Or even worse he won't come back this book...

WILL WE GET KADE, LOOLA AND THREEP THIS BOOK BECAUSE ITS DIFFICULT WITHOUT THEM. I miss them a lot, also definitely not catching up with Kade like we should've; imagine if MC dies and the rest of the group (after saving the world and whatnot) comes back with her corpse with a note attached - sorry. 😐

I would scream if we have a therapy session with some certain characters - say certain someones we haven't seen in the WHOLE BOOK. Very disappointed in that department. Because from where I am sitting we NEED YEARS WORTH OF THERAPY.

[starshine-wagner]

Reasons to Hope (part one)

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x F!Reader

Summary: On a walk in the woods, Sam and Rose encounter someone in need of a friend.

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: language, mentions of sex, angry boss, toxic boyfriend, cheating, Rose Kiszka

Author's Note: I couldn't stop thinking about Dog Dad Sammy. Oops. I also am impatient so here is part one.

You'd had it. The week's heartache had finally caught up to you, and you needed to just get out. The office could feel so constricting, and the break room was certainly not where you wanted to spend your hour on lunch break. So, you headed for the woods.

You were lucky that your building was right next to a public recreation area. Skyneck Woods had all sorts of walking trails, fields, benches, playgrounds, and paths to enjoy. Here, it was almost as if the stressors of your job, your family, and your broken relationship couldn't reach you. Here, there were no deadlines, no tensions, and no checklists.

You grabbed a snack from your bag and set off onto one of the many trails. The further you went into the woods, the less you could hear the cars on the main road, the kids on the playground, and the static frustration in your head. It was a silent retreat, and for that you were grateful. After the reaming you'd just received from your boss, you needed silence. He'd been patient with you all week, but, when you forgot to place an important order, he had to lay it on you. And so, here you were. Boots in the dirt, heading for God-knows-where.

--*--

After the weekend you had with your long-distance boyfriend, you had admittedly been useless at the office. Apparently, it wasn't good enough for him to plan for a relaxed weekend in. He had insisted on going out when all you wanted to do was spend time on the couch watching Bachelor and eating Chinese. Just like you used to at home. You explained how exhausted you were, how you missed just getting to hold him, but he wasn't having it.

"God. Honestly, Y/N! It's like we never do shit anymore. I don't want to watch your stupid fucking show. And when was the last time we even fucked? Like-"

"Don, please-"

"I only see you every other weekend and it's like every time I do, you wanna play fucking house. I'm tired of spending my hard-earned money and time to drive all the way here just for this," he motioned to the living room, "and some mediocre head."

You weren't sure what compelled him to say such a stinging remark. But you knew exactly why your hand went up to slap him across the face. His hand caught your wrist, though, just before you could make contact and slap some decency into the man who was supposed to love you.

"Nice try. I'm out. If you need me I'll be at O'Leary's. Who knows? Maybe finding myself a lady willing to put out for once," he said as he slammed the door shut, leaving you alone in the apartment.

He'd been becoming more and more of a dick these past few months. Even his name was dick-ish. Donovan. Who the fuck named their kid Donovan? Worse, who thought it would be a good idea to date a guy named Donovan? You, apparently. It wasn't the first time he'd thrown a tantrum over something like this. Once you moved to Nashville while he stayed in St. Louis, things had started to change. He got angrier. Impatient. It was like the boy you fell in love with in college had morphed into someone you didn't know. Long gone were his sweet gestures and gentle caresses. No more were the "good morning" texts and the random flowers.

Not having the energy to cry when he left, you simply fell back onto the couch. You reached for your phone to check the time when you realized Donovan had left his by the pillow next to you. You hadn't meant to even look, but a notification caught your eye. A message.

Katie (8 min ago): You think so, baby? I'd say you were just as good.

Baby? Who the hell was calling him baby? Who was Katie? Oh, now this was something. Just as you were getting ready to helplessly text your best friend, Donovan came crashing through the front door once again.

"Fucking forgot my-"

"Who the fuck is Katie?" you interrupted. You stood up from your spot on the couch and marched over to the door, where he still stood in its frame. The instant look of shock on his face told you everything you needed to know. But he still played the game.

"Katie? Katie who? What are you-"

"Shut the fuck up. Katie." You threw the phone towards him and it clanged onto the vinyl floor. "Hmm?" You crossed your arms and waited, mostly so that you wouldn't ball your fists in his direction.

"Babe I don't know what you're trying to say here. Katie is on my sales team. We-"

"Your sales teammate calls you 'baby' now? That's fucking rich."

"I don't know what you want me to say. I don't even know her that well, like, she- Actually, no. No. I'm not going to explain myself to you. I haven't done whatever you're thinking. And fuck you for doubting me, Y/N." He with a final huff, he shoved the phone pointedly in his pocket, shut the door, and left.

Needless to say, your weekend ended with more screaming matches, a half-assed excuse, a confrontation with this Katie, and a bitter goodbye. Donovan was gone. You were finished. Though you knew it was a long time coming, and probably for the better, it still hurt. It still made you question what you could've done wrong. Why you weren't enough. What Katie had that you didn't.

--*--

With the events of this weekend replaying through your mind, you found a spot to sit some half-mile or so onto the path. Nobody was around, and it was midday, so you figured it was a good a time as any to let the dam welling in your chest break. Criss-crossed on the log, you let your head fall into your hands and wept.

You wept for the old you. The one who dreamed of a life with Donovan. Who imagined 3 little mini-you's running around a fenced-in yard while the two of you held hands.

You wept for the current you. The one who was hurting and betrayed and broken and helpless. Who couldn't seem to catch a break.

And you wept for the future you. The one who you didn't know yet. You prayed she was happy. You wished she was successful, and loved, and cherished. All the things you weren't.

It was a relief to be able to get it out. The pain you'd been holding in all week was too much to carry in silence. So, you didn't hold back. You allowed the sobs to come from deep within your chest, emptying out the caverns of your broken heart into nature. You remained like that until you thought you had no water left in your body to cry out.

Then, a shuffle of leaves caught your attention. You figured it was a squirrel or some critter just pattering around. But soon, the rustles got louder and closer, until finally you saw a dog skipping right towards you. Now, this would have been a welcome surprise if it weren't for the reality that the presence of a dog meant the presence of a human somewhere nearby.

"Rose! Rose Bud Kiszka," someone yelled, feigning severity. "Get back here- I have treats!" you heard a man calling down the path. You stood up to try and start walking away, but she was too quick. The dog had jumped into your lap and you were twisting and bending to keep her from licking right into your face. Her muddy paws were soiling your work pants with dirt and you tried to get her down, but it was no use.

"Rose! Shit. I'm so sorry-" Her owner had finally caught up. "Rose no!"

You managed to pull your face away from her excited sniffs to reply, "No, it's fine! Don't- oh!" Just as you spoke, she licked right into your mouth. Not the worst thing in the world, but definitely a little gross.

He wrangled her back by her harness and attached her to the end of the leash. "I'm so sorry. Seriously. I kinda assumed nobody would be out here so I let her off..."

You finally had a moment to look up at Rose's owner as he rambled on and- oh. He was... yeah. Your brain took a stalled out for a second taking in the attractive man before you when he spoke again.

"Are you- oh my God. I'm so sorry she made you upset. Did she hurt you? She's usually not-" He seemed overly apologetic. You realized, then, that your face was probably puffy, red, and dreary from the cry you just had. Snot was likely gathering somewhere on your face, and you clearly looked rough. And the poor guy thought it was because of his dog.

"No! Please. Don't apologize. I was just- it wasn't her! Promise." You gave him a small smile and beckoned for Rose to come towards you again, proving your point. He slowly led her over to your side again, though slightly more calm.

"What kind of dog is she?" you asked, changing the subject as quickly as possible from your emotional display.

"She's mainly a pit, but with bits of terrier and boxer mixed in. My little mutt girl. Aren't you, my Rosie?" he smooshed the top of her head with his hand and slipped into his doggie voice, causing you to chuckle. Cute.

"Aren't you just precious!" you agreed. "And how old?" By this point, she'd made herself comfortable sitting between your legs while her owner stood facing you.

"She just turned one year, actually. Still a pup!"

"Well she's lovely..."

You continued to pat her head as she sat in a glorious bliss. Clearly, she loved the attention.

"I'm Sam by the way," he smiled. "Mostly Polish with a bit of German and French mixed in. 24 years old." Oh. So he was funny too? And his teeth were perfect..

"Nice to meet you Sam. I'm Y/N." You stood up, wiping your now-dirty pants down, much to Rose's dismay. So, you reached down to satisfy her need for pats at all times. Sam quirked up an eyebrow, still hung up on the way that he'd found you.

"Are you sure you're okay...?" he pressed.

"Yeah! No. Sorry, I'm fine. Just... long day." You went to smooth your hair back, only to realize it had half-fallen out of place. Great.

"I get it. More than you know, unfortunately."

You rocked back and forth on your heels, feeling a little awkward, before deciding to put the man out of his presumed misery.

"Well, Sam, Rose. I hope you have a good walk! It's a beautiful day for it."

"Oh we will! But I'm not quite sure she's gonna want to move on," he suggested, looking down at Rose. "You might just have to join us."

"Don't let me ruin your walk! I was just gonna head back actually..." You looked down see Rose's snout exploring your left jacket pocket. Ah, yes. The snack you'd brought and neglected to eat. She found it.

"I don't know! I think she likes you too much. Walk with us? Just for a bit and then we'll see you off?" he insisted. You considered it for a moment before giving in. This Sam and his eyes were just too sweet to say no to.

"Alright then."

The three of you set off down the path together. Sam asked you a bit about yourself, your work, where you're from and what you're doing in Nashville now.

"It's a great city. Really. I've only been here a few years, but it already feels more like home than home ever was," he explained.

"Home?"

"Michigan. A random German town with a lot of Christmas decorations. And world famous chicken!"

"World-famous, you say?" You kicked up some rocks as you went, attempting to distract yourself from staring at his slender fingers on Rose's leash.

"That is exactly what I said. But I never said it was any good..." he peeked over at you with a sly smile.

You laughed nearly the whole walk and were amazed at his ability to set you, a total stranger, at ease. Conversation seemed to flow so easily. He spoke about his brothers and his sister. He asked for your thoughts on the Space Force and whether you think that we really landed on the moon or not. And the way he said things was so casual, yet elegant. He spoke of the beauty in the mundane things in life. He pointed out the colors on the trees as you passed by a particularly beautiful section of the woods. Sam mentioned that he was a big jazz guy and played music with his brothers, much to his father's pride. He stopped plenty of times to give Rose some love. By the time you neared the end of the path, finishing almost a two mile loop, it was hard to believe you'd only just met. As cliche as it sounded, it felt even more so.

"Thanks for convincing me to tag along. I needed that little break," you admitted. He only gave a shrug in response, as if to say I told you so. Looking at the time on your phone, you realized you only had a few more minutes to get back to the office. "Shit. I gotta run, though. My boss will literally kill me if I come back late."

"Okay, okay. At least text me when you get back? Just so I know you're alive?" He snuck the phone out of your hands and shot himself a message.

You: Sam Kiszka. Weird guy from the woods.

"I will." You gave goodbye pets to Rose before scurrying as fast as you could towards the office and back to your desk. Settling in, you tried to look as unfazed as possible in front of your boss. Then, your phone dinged.

Maybe: Sam: Alive?

You smiled to yourself.

You: Yes! THANK GOD.

You quickly saved his number into your contacts.

Sam Kiszka 🐶: Glad to hear it. Drinks later? If you're not busy.

You: I'd love to. You pick where!

You had big plans with your couch that night, but you were she'd understand.

Sam Kiszka 🐶: O'Leary's, then. 8?

You: See ya then :)

(to be continued)

edit as of 2023: im so sorry I didnt make another part lol but im stuck. maybe one day Inspo will strike!

[sunfyresrider]

Romeo & Juliet AU

Part 1

Synopsis: Two households, Targaryen and Velaryon, both alike in dignity in Westeros, from ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes. A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life; Whose piteous misadventures buries their parents' strife. 

pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x Reader warnings: kissingg and mutual simping word count: 6k + note: I used a mix of Westeroi, modern English, and Shakespearean language so I hope it's still an ok read. I never realized how fast paced it was until I read the screenplay and scripts, so this is a shorter series than others.

ACT I

It was excruciatingly hot, even at eight o’clock. King’s Landing was coming to life: people poured out of the houses and filled the streets while market traders set up their stalls in the grand piazza. It was an excellent place for business of those who lived and worked in the rich houses that lined King’s Landing’s main square. The Targaryen mansion was by far the largest – filled with servants and king’s guard, always buzzing with activity. 

Lately, Jacaerys had been faithfully ignoring his dear brother due to a recent heartache. Lucerys had carefully planned out today how he was going to catch him off guard and bless him with good tidings. Lucerys strolled slowly behind his brother and down the street. “Hi.” he spoke as he got near to Jacaerys, his tiding was ignored. 

Lucerys ran in front of Jace and bent his head to catch his brother’s eye. “Good morrow.” Jacaerys pretended not to see him. Lucerys wrapped an arm around his elder brother so he could ignore him no longer. “Good morrow,” Lucerys sang. 

Jacaerys sighed a long, mournful sigh. “Is the day so young?” Lucerys walked in unison with him carefully studying his face. “Only just past eight.” He sighed again, “how slow time goes when you’re depressed.” Luke raised a brow, “What sadness plagues you that makes time drag so?” Jace rolled his eyes, “not having what I need to make it go fast.” Luke gasped, “not in love…!” His brother stopped walking, “no, out… Out of the favor of the girl I love.”

“Oh my,” Lucerys whispered, attempting not to giggle. “It’s a hard life. Love, tis’ such a gentle thing, yet so rough when it comes down to it.” Luke did not know much of love, but he knew this was just another crush that failed to come to fruition. His elder brother was quite talented at being overly dramatic. “Tis’ true,” muttered Jacaerys. 

The youngest brother was struggling to hold his composure as he listened to his brother's woes. Jacaerys shook his head sadly. “The world is filled with hate… I’m thinking only about love. Oh, everything feels upside down.” Jacaerys ears perked up when he heard a hushed giggle behind him. He whipped his head around and looked sharply at Lucerys. “Are you laughing at me?”

“Would I do that, dear brother o’ mine,” jested Lucerys. “You make me want to cry.” The elder brother grew tense, “Why?” Luke patted his back, “because you’re so pathetic it’s saddening.” Jace scoffed, “It’s love that makes me pathetic, but don’t give it another thought.” His eyelids slowly began to brim with tears. “If you start feeling sorry for me it’ll only make things worse… So go home.”

“Be serious right now. Tell me who has caused such despair.” Jacaerys pouted like a child, “I won’t dare speak her name… but she is a girl.” Lucerys made his best attempt to not tease “Oh. well done,” remarked Lucerys. “I assumed that when you said you were in love.” His elder brother smiled to himself reminiscing on his memory of her, “Her name is Baela and she’s beautiful.” That she was her skin glistened with the oil she used to soften it. Her dark eyes glistened brighter than any star and her lips were plush and red like the most beautiful rose. Luke was growing bored and mildly annoyed. “Good for you.”

Jacaerys plucked a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at his eyes. “She’s not interested in boys says she never will be. When our eyes meet, she looks the other way…. I’ve even offered her coin, Lucerys, coins!” The younger brother sighed, “Well. She’s determined not to have a man.”

“Oh Gods,” Jacaerys groaned. “She’s so beautiful, Lucerys. And she’ll go through life alone and when she dies all beauty will die with her. She says she’ll never love anyone, so I’m destined for a living death.” Luke could bear no more of the self-pity, he grasped Jacaerys’s wrist. “If you trust me, I can tell you how to forget her.”

“Impossible… Tell me how.’ Jacaerys stopped crying and lifted his eyebrows. His eyes were as bright as the sun gleaming above them.  “Easy task,” exclaimed Lucerys. “Get out and about. Look at other girls.” Jace’s joy melted away and he nearly let out a sob, “It’s no use… Whenever I see a girl from now on, I’ll only think of one who is even more beautiful.” Luke chuckled to himself, “I’m taking that as a challenge, I’ll sort it out, don’t you worry big boy.”

-

It was high past noon when little Luke returned with a grand plan to free his brother from wallowing in sorrow. After a deal was made with their less than adequate cousin a plan had been hatched. He rushed through the humming streets and slammed the door open to their lush apartments. “Aha!’ shouted Lucerys announcing his arrival. “We have just gotten invited to the most lavish party, dear brother. We have finally made our way into a Targaryen affair!” 

Jacaerys leapt from his seat and rushed over to where his young brother stood. “Who shall be in attendance?” Luke waved his ticket proudly, “Your dear Baela, among some of the finest girls in King’s Landing. Let us go to Targaryen’s party, Jacaerys.” He shoved the ticket into his brother's hand. “I’ll show you that the girl you think is a swan is nothing more than a crow.”

“A girl more beautiful than Baela?” His eyes widened before they dulled once more, “never. The sun’s never seen a more beautiful woman since the world began.” Luke wanted to vomit, he had heard enough of this, “Rubbish! Every time you’ve seen her she’s been on her own. You need to make comparisons and I bet there’ll be hundreds of girls who’ll put Baela in the shade.” Jacaerys thought to himself for a long while, clearly he believed his brother but refused to admit it. “Alright, I’ll go,” spoke Jacaerys. “But not because I think you can show me anyone better. I’m going only so that I can see her.”

-

Lady Targaryen came into the sitting room where her daughter’s nurse was sewing a pattern onto a handkerchief. She gazed around the room before speaking. “Where’s that child o’ mine? I wish to speak to her.” The nurse stood from her place on the settee, “Ladybird!” she called. “My little lamb! Where are you child? Y/N!”

“Coming,” a soft voice called, and you came running in from the adjoining room. The surprise on her face was evident when she saw her mother. Lady Targaryen was so busy as of late she rarely had time to visit you. “Mother! What do you want?”

“We need to discuss a private matter,’ spoke Lady Targaryen. It was a private demand for the nurse to leave. Thus, the nurse got up reluctantly, but before she reached the door, Lady Targaryen called her back. “You might as well stay,” she sighed. “Your advice would be helpful.” Lady Targaryen cleared her throat. “Y/N’s getting to the age when…” She frowned, searching for the right word. “Let’s just say she’s at a pretty age. She’s going to be fourteen in two weeks.”

“Oh yes,” exclaimed your Nurse. “On Maiden’s Day she’ll be fourteen. She was the same age as my Susan when she died, God rest her soul. Anyway, on Maiden’s Day she’ll be fourteen. I remember it so well: it’s eleven years since the earthquake…” She took no notice of the impatient tapping of Lady Targaryen’s fingers on the table, nor the glances you were giving her to cease her gabbering. “And you stop dead now too, please, Nurse,” you pleaded.

“I swear I have finished.” The Nurse bowed her head. She tenderly gazed upon your face before opening her trap once more. “But I must say it. You were the most beautiful baby I ever nursed. If I could live to see you married, I’d die peacefully.” Your mother, Lady Rhaenyra Targaryen grinned, “Married… That’s just what I’ve come to talk about!” She clapped her hands together and motioned for you to sit on her lap and so you did. Though she now shifted under your weight unlike when you were young. “Little lamb, what do you think about getting married?’

“I’ve never even thought about it,’ you sighed. You knew where this conversation was headed. “Well give it a thought now, girls younger than you are already mothers. As a matter of fact, I was your mother when I was much the age you are now… The Count of Casterly Rock wishes to marry you.”

The Nurse clapped her hands together. “Now there’s a man, the perfect man.” Rhaenyra smiled, “The best in King’s Landing.” Your nurse’s voice reeked of excitement, “without doubt.” Your mother ran a finger through your hair.  “Well? Do you think you could love him?’ You had no clue to say. It was too unexpected and far too soon. The idea of marriage, especially to an older man did not suit your fancy. You had heard nothing but bad things about the Lannisters. They were greedy and too ambitious to trust. “You’ll see him at the party, take a good look at him. He has sound prospects and many riches.” 

You felt all the joy you once had for this evening being slowly drained away with every word she spoke. Riches and prospects… you did not care much for those either. “Come on, what do you think? Do you like the idea?” You knew a simple no would not suffice. You spoke carefully, “I shall look at him but I’m not going to rush or do anything that I haven’t thought about.”

A knock at the door caught both of your attention. One of your father’s servants came in, “Madam, the guests are starting to arrive. My master wants you.” Lady Targaryen stood up and brushed off her skirts. “I have to go, come on Y/N, the Count’s waiting.” You glanced back at your nurse praying for aid, “Go and meet your love.” The nurse was no help after all, traitor. 

-

Jacaerys was impatiently tapping his foot. “Are we going to make some excuse for coming? Or shall we just go in and see what happens?” The three boys stood in the piazza, watching the huge front door of Targaryen’s mansion open. Aegon, the one with the invitation, and Jacaerys’s best friend, sat on the ground. He was making it clear that he was the only one to have been invited and the other two were stowaways. The reason for his invitation was that he was a Targaryen too.

Lucerys was the first to stand up and speak. “Speeches are out. No-one makes speeches when they arrive anymore. We’ll just go in and pretend we belong. Tough luck if they don’t like us.” Jace nodded, there was no need to draw attention to themselves. He sighed, “Give me the torch, Aegon. I’ll carry it: I’m not going to dance.” Aegon rolled his eyes, “seven hells… No, you're dancing. That’s the entire point.”

Jacaerys sat down beside his friend and relinquished his hold of the torch. “Come on kid, lovers are always in the mood for dancing.” He wrapped his arm around Jace’s shoulder. “Not me. It’s because of love that I’m not in the mood.” Aegon laughed, he did not have the same restraint as Luke. “What a fuss about nothing.”  Lucerys hid his face as he chuckled. “So now you laugh at me?” He was offended to say the least. Of course, a scoundrel like Aegon could never understand love. He was too in love with himself to feel the agony Jace did. “You don’t know what it’s like until you’ve felt it. It hurts like hell.”

Aegon groaned, “It'll stop hurting once you’re inside. Hand me a mask, Aemond.” The other three boys gathered around him. “Now as soon as we’re in let’s all get down to some serious business.” Lucerys declared in the most serious voice he could manage. Jacaerys was reluctant, “I know we mean no harm and all, but I don’t think it’s very bright to go to this party.”

Aegon furrowed his brows in confusion. “Why?” The eldest boy sighed once again, “I had a dream last night.” His ears were filled with a symphony of groans from his friends. 

“If we don’t get a move on, all the food will be gone by the time we get there.” Aemond spoke quickly as he bounced on his feet. Jacaerys glanced at the door and realized there was a hoard of people going through the doors. “I have a strong premonition that something’s going to happen tonight. I feel it’s going to end in my having to repay a debt with my life.”

“Pray tell, when did you become a dragon dreamer?” Aemond raised his brows at him. The boys glanced at each other once last time and threw their heads up in laughter. Fools, Jacaerys realized he was surrounded by jesters. He shrugged, “Alright then, off we go.”

-

The servants were running rampant trying to clean up after the dinner and prepare for the dancing. A few bumped in Jacaerys’s shoulder causing him to become more annoyed at being here. There was no joy to be found here unless it was with Baela. 

They stood off to the side as Lord Targaryen walked upon a raised floor and waved to the crowd.  “Welcome, gentlemen. Once there was a time when I could wear a mask and charm a girl by whispering a story in her ear. No more, no more, no more. If you aren’t old like me, all the ladies who aren’t suffering from corns on their feet will dance with you. Ha ha! My ladies, now which of you will refuse to dance now? If any of you acts shyly, I’ll swear she has corns. Come, musicians, play. Make room in the hall! Make room! Dance, girls.” Jacaerys realized again at that moment his family’s greatest foe was a fool. 

You didn’t arrive early, nor did you arrive right on time. Lady Targaryen decided to arrive late to make an entrance and that you did. For a second all eyes were on you and the more than revealing evening gown you were forced to wear, twas not to your liking. Your father, Lord Daemon Targaryen had already begun making a spectacle of himself atop the hall.

Your nerves ached as you stared at the crowd in front of you. Instead of listening to your mother speak about how you need to charm your way into the Lannister’s heart you slipped away into the crowd. The guests took kindly to you and gladly swung you around as they danced. If you ever were filled with sorrow, dancing was sure to ease that pain. 

Jacaerys noticed you too late, you were already dancing with other people. He had never laid eyes upon such a beautiful maiden in his entire life. Thus, his agony from earlier melted away and soon became long forgotten. He leaned over to Aegon, “Who is that girl on the arm of that man over there?” 

“I do not know. Perhaps a cousin o’ mine by the hue of her hair.” Jace’s heart raced as you glanced over to him before quickly being spun the other way. “She teaches the torches to burn bright! Her beauty is too precious for this world like a white dove in a flock of crows, she surpasses all the other women. When this dance ends, I’ll note where she stands, and then I’ll touch her hand and bless my ugly one. Did I ever love anyone before this moment? Renounce that love, my eyes! I never saw true beauty until this night.” Aegon looked at his friend and began laughing to himself. “By the Gods, you are pathetic.” 

You finished your dance quickly and bid the lord good night. The room was quickly becoming suffocatingly cramped so you moved to a pillar by the back wall. You watched the crowd sway in a trance-like state until you heard a voice from behind. The masked boy gently took your hand in his, “If I offend you by touching your holy hand with my own unworthy one, like two blushing smallfolk, then my lips stand ready to smooth my rough touch with a gentle kiss.” 

Even though he wore a mask you could see his handsome features underneath. You couldn’t help but blush, “you are unfair to your hand. Your hand shows proper devotion by touching mine, just as smallfolks reach out to touch the hands of septas. Holding palm to palm is like a smallfolk’s kiss.” Jacaerys squeezed your hand, “Don’t septas have lips? And smallfolk, too?” 

Quickly your cheeks became heated... was he flirting with you? Your face blessed his eyes with a smile, “Yes, smallfolk lips they’re supposed to use to pray.” His eyes were soft, and his smile warms your heart. “Oh septa, let lips do what hands do: pray. Grant my prayer or my faith will turn to despair.” Your heart beats with excitement, “Septas don’t move, though they do grant prayers.” He leaned in slowly and his voice turned into a hushed whisper, “then remain still while I pray.” 

Your lips touched in the gentlest embrace. You weren’t sure what had driven you to behave like this, but something drove you to him. Mayhaps it was the poetry he used to lure you in that drove you to madness. “Thus, your lips have cleaned the sin from mine.” 

You gazed at his charming smile, “Tis’ my lips that have the sin they took from yours.” He pulled your hand to his chest and studied your features, “Sin from my lips? How you goad me on to another crime. Give me back my sin.” It was impossible to resist the taste of affection he granted you. You leaned into his lips, “You kiss as if you’ve studied how.” 

Your lips touched once more, this time you basked in their subtle warmth and tender flesh. You tasted sweet, like strawberries freshly picked from the garden. There was never a more perfect being than you, Jacaerys thought. 

“Y/N, your mother needs to speak with you.” Your nurse’s voice immediately caused you to pull away. Jacaerys watched you walk away, and curiosity took over his newly healed heart, “What is that girl’s name, nurse?” 

“Y/N Targaryen, daughter of the good lady Rhaenyra Targaryen.” Jacaerys stood frozen at her words. What a price I’ve paid, I’ve fallen for the enemy, he thought. Love must be a monster to make him love his worst enemy. 

-

Jacaerys couldn’t stand to leave the Targaryen property until he laid eyes upon you one last time. His heart had been trapped here — nowhere else. Besides, he knew what would happen on the way home. His friends would jest at his expense, and he could frankly live without that. They would go on about Baela. Baela? Who was Baela again?

“Jacaerys! Hey Jacaerys!” The boys walked faster than he thought. He hopped behind a stone wall as they quickly approached where he was hiding. “Brother! Where art thou hiding?” Aegon began drunkenly shouting, “Ja-cae-rys! Ja-Ja-Ja-cae-rys!”

In a quick attempt to escape he climbed atop the wall and laid flat as they walked below him. Aemond, the tall lad, nearly saw him. “He’s run off home to avoid us,” Jace listened intently to Luke’s voice. “He’ll be in bed by now.” Aemond turned in in a circle and stood on his toes trying to peer over the wall. “No, I swear I just saw him a moment ago. I’ll bet he climbed over this orchard wall.”

“He’s vanished like a ghost… Let’s see if I can conjure him up.” Jacaerys lay, trying not to make a peep, listening to their drunken giggling. They huddled in a circle until Aegon emerged and began proudly shouting. “I conjure thee, Jacaerys Velaryon, in the name of Baela’s bright eyes!” Aegon spoke in the formal tone of a priest. “By her plush lips. And her round bum.”

Lucerys and Aemond burst out into a fit of giggles. “And quivering thighs! And everything else in that region!” Aegon held a hand in the air, “appear to us! Appear to us in the likeness of… of… yourself!” Lucerys slapped a hand over his mouth, “If he hears you, he’ll be furious.”

“Raising him in the name of his beloved would make him furious? That sounds fair to me,” Aegon placed his hands on his hips. “Let us waste no more time,” spoke Aemond when he had stopped laughing. “Since love is blind, leave him in the dark.” Aegon sighed, “oh well. Goodnight to Jacaerys” Lucerys raised his hands in defeat. “I’m going to bed. You’ll never find someone who doesn’t want to be found.”

-

He was stuck atop the wall he climbed onto. The moon illuminated the dark part of the world he was trapped in. On one side was the orchard and the overwhelmingly large Targaryen mansion. On the other was the alley his friends escaped through. He stared at the mansion and began wondering to himself. You were in there. What were you doing? Were you thinking about him? Have your thoughts been consumed by him as his thoughts had been consumed by you. 

A single window lit up and it reminded him so much of the sun. You were his sun and so much more beautiful than the moon. A goddess of the morning, you were. The gods granted his prayers as you opened the doors to your balcony and walked out. It’s my love, he whispered to himself. 

Jacaerys wished you could see him sitting there, mayhaps it would be less creepy. You were talking but he couldn’t hear it. Surely, it wasn’t about him. As he stared at you his head was whirling with thoughts. How could someone be so beautiful, like two of the most radiant stars left the sky and told you to take their place. Your eyes shined so brightly in the heavens that you would believe it was daytime. 

He watched you place your hand on your cheek and nearly fainted. Oh, how he wished to be a glove on your hand so he could touch that cheek. Jacaerys decided he had to get closer, he jumped off the wall and landed on his feet. He crept through the orchard until he was below your window barely hidden by a tree. 

You sighed as you watched the stars paint the night sky. Your mind had been overcome with thoughts of the boy from before. You spoke out loud to yourself to ease your heart. “Jacaerys, Jacaerys, why must you be a Velaryon.” He wanted to reveal himself but chose to stay still and listen. 

“It’s only your name that’s my enemy… If you loved me, I could take yours.” You paused and wondered about the strife between your families.  “What is a “Velaryon”? Tis’ not a hand nor foot, nor arm or face. What’s in a name anyway? The dragon we call Balerion would still breathe fire no matter its name. Whatever name Jacaerys had would make no difference: he would still be perfect.” 

Jace couldn’t handle it anymore. He leapt from behind the bush and lifted his arms. “I’ll take you at your word, just call me ‘love’ and that will be my new name,” he proclaimed. 

You stumbled back, it was shocking to hear someone out there. You couldn’t recognize the voice at all. “Who’s out there? Coming here, watching me and eavesdropping like this?” He sighed, “I can’t tell you my name since you hate it so.” The voice was familiar, you leaned over the balcony, excitement lacing your voice. “Is it Jacaerys? Jacaerys Velaryon?” 

“Neither” he said, “Since you dislike both names.” You glanced at him, “How and why did you come here? This place is dangerous, considering who you are. If any of my family finds you here your life may be forfeit.” He smiled back at you, “I climbed over the wall with the strength your love bestowed upon me. Do not fret for my safety, your eyes are more powerful than twenty of their swords. Just give me one look and I’ll be invincible.” 

“Who told you where to find me?” Jacaerys found it impossible to be serious. “Love told me. I’m no navigator, but even if you were living in Asshai I would find my way to you.”

Your cheeks flushed slightly, “It’s a good thing it’s dark or you would see me blushing… Do you love me?” Jacaerys opened his mouth to respond but you kept rambling on. “Oh Jacaerys, if you do love me, please tell me honestly… Or if you think I’m too fast tell me, and I’ll put on an act and be coy and play hard to get. I’m so in love with you: that’s why I’m being so forward. I should have been all shy, I know, and would have if you hadn’t overheard my real feelings. So, forgive me.”

He rushed to speak, “I swear by the moon…” You leaned over the balcony, “don’t swear by the moon! The moon’s too changeable.” Jacaerys’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What shall I swear by?”

“Swear by yourself and I’ll believe you. No, don’t swear. Although I love you, I don’t like this – making commitments like this. It’s too sudden, too fast. It’s not a good idea.” Jacaerys couldn’t understand what you were doing at all. You said you loved him and now you’re saying it’s not a good idea? He couldn’t let this be. “Are you just going to leave it like that?” 

You sighed, “What more could we do tonight?” He paused to think. “Make faithful vows of love.” It was high past your bedtime, and you could hear your nurse calling from the other room. You couldn’t just leave him so quickly after you said all of that. “Just a few more words and I must leave, dear Jacaerys. If you really mean it, and you want to marry me, send me a message tomorrow. I’ll send someone to you, and you’ll tell them where and what time you’ve arranged a wedding.”

You leant over the balcony and reached out towards Jacaerys. “If you’re trifling with me, please leave me alone to wallow in my sorrow.” You turned and ran towards the sound of your nurse calling. He was left dumbfounded, you left without a goodbye and claimed he did not mean it! It felt as if the sun itself had been burned out. Jacaerys turned to leave but your voice carried him back. 

“Psst! Jacaerys! Pssst!” He walked over and gazed up at you. “Jacaerys. What time shall I send someone?” He chuckled to himself, “at nine.” You laughed, “It’ll feel like twenty years till then… Oh! I’ve forgotten why I called you back.” He smiled up at you, “I’ll stay here until you remember it.” 

“Then I’ll never remember it, so that you’ll stand there forever.” He blushed, “I’ll keep standing here, hoping you’ll keep forgetting. And I’ll forget that I’ve got any other home but this.” You bit your lip and thought about speaking more but the sun peaking over the horizon caught your eye. “It’s almost morning, you must leave now.” You spoke in a hushed whisper. After you gave him one last lingering gaze you took off towards your room.  

Jacaerys had healed his heart and found a wife in the same night. He took off out of the orchard and towards the chapel to tell Septon Daeron what had happened. 

-

Septon Daeron was up early. The clouds in the southern sky were streaked with light as the night scurried out of the way of the advancing day. He wanted to fill his basket with a mixture of poisonous and healing herbs before the sun came up to dry the dew.

“Morning, Septon,” he shouted from across the field. Jacaerys ran up to him heavily panting. He looked over the boy's features, “Who’s this then, visiting me so early in the morning? Is there something wrong, being up so early?” Jace smiled, “You’re wrong, I had a better rest.”

“Gods pardon you, have you been with Baela?” Jacaerys’s brow furrowed. “Baela? No. I’ve forgotten that name and everything about her.” Septon Daeron smiled, “that’s my boy! But where have you been then?” Jacaerys spoke quickly, “I was dining with my enemies when suddenly one of them wounded me and you’re the one who can heal me.” Daeron looked at him confusingly, “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.” 

“To put it plainly, I fell in love with a Targaryen’s daughter, and she with me. You must marry us, and you must do so today.” The Septon stopped dead in his tracks. “By the seven! What a turnabout. Have you forgotten Baela? Am I to understand that young men love with their eyes and not their hearts? You cried buckets for Baela, the sound of your groans is still ringing in my ears.” 

“You told me off all the time for loving Baela.” Septon Daeron debated, “For being infatuated, not loving, my boy.” Jace sighed, “And told me to bury my love.” Daeron scoffed, “Not to dig another one up.” Jacaerys grabbed his hands. “Please, don’t reprimand me. The one I love now loves me in return. The other didn’t.”

‘Because she could see you didn’t mean it.’ Friar Lawrence was thinking. Marrying the two young people from the feuding families would be a disaster and he couldn’t possibly agree to it. Or could he? It may be the best way of bringing the families together. It could just be the salvation of Verona. It took him a second to decide. ‘Come on then, you young rascal,’ he said. ‘Come with me. This is one thing I can help you with. This could be the answer: the thing to turn your households’ hatred into love.’

-

“Where in the seven hells could Jacaerys be?” Aegon and Lucerys sat in the shade of the fountain’s wall. It was another dull day in King’s Landing. “Didn’t he come home last night?” Lucerys continued playing in the dust, “Not to fathers house.” Aegon huffed out a laugh, “Who would have thought it? The cold Baela should have the power to drive him crazy.”

“Hey!” Shouted Lucerys as Jacaerys ran towards them. “Here he is, the man himself.” Aegon stood up, “look at him. What a lad.” He bowed, “ Rytsas Jacaerys, sesīr kipi! How’s that for a nice Valyrian greeting? You cheated us well last night.” He stopped in his tracks, “Excuse me?” Aegon wrapped an arm around his shoulder. “Don’t you remember kid? You gave us the slip.”

“I’m sorry Aegon. I had important business.” Aegon didn’t accept that as a proper excuse. They began making fun of each other, exchanging insults. Jacaerys’s friends were pleased to see that he was back to his normal. At least they thought he was normal again. “Isn’t this better than groaning for love? Now you’re sociable – you’re Jacaerys again, the Jacaerys we all know.”

Jacaerys was unable to take the big grin off his face. He kept looking around the square: whenever he saw any movement he looked up. And alas your nurse all dressed up in full skirts and a billowing train appeared in front of him. So, this was the messenger you had sent for him.  Jacaerys, and his friends joined him as he ran to greet the Nurse.

Aegon grabbed the train and flapped it up and down for a jest. The Nurse turned and gave him a backhand which sent him flying into the dust. “Good morning, gentlemen,” said the Nurse. “Good afternoon, fair gentlewoman,” mocked Aegon, rubbing his jaw. “Is it afternoon already?” she asked sincerely. “Oh yes, the rude hand of the dial is now right on the cock of noon.”

“Disgusting! You disgusting man.” Aegon and Lucerys burst into giggles. “Can any of you wastrels tell me where I can find young Jacaerys?” Everyone peered over at Jace.  “I can tell you, it’s me. I’m the youngest of that name. For better or worse.” 

“Well said.” The Nurse grinned. “That was well said? You’re not hard to please, are you?” Aegon grinned wider. The Nurse waved him away and he threw himself on to the ground dramatically, lifted her skirt an inch and peeked under it and received another well aimed slap for that. “If you are he, I’d like a word with you… without the scoundrels you surround yourself with.” She winced and blew on her stinging hand.

“I think she’s going to proposition him,” Lucerys leaned over and whispered to Aegon. “A whore, a whore!” cried Aegon, “Tally ho” The young men came closer and began walking around her. “Leave us alone, children.” She swatted them away like flies. Aegon finally ceased his teasing after she spouted a fair share of insults. “Farewell, old girl,” sang Aegon, walking backwards, bowing. “Lady, lady, lady.”

“Who’s the cheeky one? All those tricks!” She watched as they walked away with a face laced with clear disgust. “Just a fellow who loves the sound of his own voice.” She looked at Jacaerys. “As I was trying to say, I want a word with you. My young lady told me to find you.”

“Tell her to find some way of going to confession this afternoon and there at Septon Daeron’s chapel she’ll be given absolution and married, all at the same time.” He pulled a little bag out of his pocket. “No,” she said as she took the money and hid it in her clothing. “Not a penny. This afternoon, you say? Well, she’ll be there.”

“If you’re loyal to us I’ll pay you well. Goodbye, give your mistress my love.” She grinned, “bless you, bless you, Sir.” Jacaerys shouted as she walked away, “give her my love, Nurse!” The nurse was all smiles twirling the coins in her pocket. “Of course! With pleasure.”

-

You could see by the way the sun hung over the distant hill that it was twelve o’clock. Your Nurse had been gone three hours! She had promised to return in half an hour. Mayhaps she hadn’t found him! No, that couldn’t be. The messengers of love should be as light as thoughts, traveling ten times faster than sunbeams, pushing all doubts and fears away, as light does to threatening shadows.

If your Nurse had any feelings – any passion whatsoever – your message would travel as fast as a tennis ball. The Nurse would be the ball. You would serve and Jacaerys would return it just as fast. But like all old people, the Nurse might as well be dead. You stuck your head out of the window every few seconds, searching the alleyway along which the Nurse would come.

And alas, there she was!

You rushed downstairs and into the garden, meeting the Nurse as a servant was opening the gate for her. You flung yourself at your old friend. “What did he say? Did you find him? Send your servant away.” The nurse didn’t expect to be bombarded with questions as soon as she returned. She turned to her servant and forced him to leave. 

“Whew, I‘m exhausted, leave me alone for a while.” She sank down onto a bench and started to fan herself. You wanted to scream with impatience. “Would you just give me your news! Please, Nurse, I beg of you, tell me. Please, dear, dear Nurse, tell me!”

‘Gods, what a hurry you’re in! Can’t you wait a minute. Can’t you see I’m out of breath?’ You rolled your eyes, “How can you be out of breath when you’ve got enough breath to tell me you’re out of breath?” The Nurse shook her head sadly. “Well, all I can say is that you’ve made a bad choice. You’ve no idea how to choose a man. Jacaerys! No, not him, he’s not the one.”

She got up suddenly and yawned. “Off with you now, girl. Get on with it. Have you had your dinner?” You huffed out a breath filled with growing annoyance. “What did he say about us getting married? What about that?”

The Nurse slid back on to the bench and lay, reclining. “Lord, what a headache I’ve got. It’s pounding so hard that it feels as though it’s going to break into twenty pieces.” She tried to stand up. “Oh, my back. Shame on you, sending me all over the place like that. It’ll be the death of me.” 

You scoffed, ‘Honestly, I’m very sorry you’re not well. Sweet, sweet, sweet Nurse. What did my love say?” The Nurse heaved a huge sigh. ‘Your love says, like an honest man, and a courteous, and a kind and a handsome, and, I have no doubt, a good-” She stopped and looked towards the house. You pondered if she was doing this to drive you mad! “Where’s your mother?”

You through your hands in the air, “in there, where do you think she is? What a strange answer. Your love says, like an honest man, where is your mother?” The nurse groaned in pain… though it seemed like false pain to you. “Good Gods, my dear young woman, bad tempered with me? Is this the thanks I get for my aching bones? Do your own dirty work from now on.”

“This is impossible, come on, what did Jacaerys say?” The Nurse stopped rubbing her back and took your hands. “Have you got permission to go to confession today?” You nodded excitedly as a smile blessed your face once more. 

“Then get yourself to Septon Daeron’s as quickly as you can. There’s a husband waiting there to make you a wife.” She smiled at you genuinely before turning you and patting your bum. “Off with you. I’m going to have my dinner. Go on Hurry.”

-

The chapel was chilled today even though the sun was boiling the ground outside. Jacaerys watched heat waves rising above the wildflowers which grew unhindered across the hillside. Septon Daeron was going on a small tangent about how feelings can lead to disaster and to be careful.  But Jacaerys wasn’t listening. He had been watching the brow of the hill and when your head appeared he sprang up and rushed to the door while the Septon was still talking.

You came, running so softly that it was as if you weren’t touching the ground. You didn’t even have a chance to say hello before he embraced you. Jace clung to you like a newborn babe and kissed you again and again. Septon Daeron pulled you apart gently. 

“Dear Y/N, if you are as happy as I am and can express it better, then tell me how much happiness you imagine we have when we add it all up.” you laughed and shoved his shoulder, “as usual, you say ridiculous things… People who can count their wealth are poor: my true love has grown so huge that I couldn’t measure half of it.” 

“Enough of this nonsense. Let’s get on with it. Follow me.”  The Septon forced you two to refrain from embracing each other during the ceremony; thankfully it was quick. You both were told to sit on your knees and pray before vows were exchanged. You pretended to be praying as you snuck glances at your soon to be husband. 

Daeron told you both to stand, neither of you had cloaks to exchange so instead you skipped right to the vows. It was painfully obvious to Daeron how ill prepared and immature the two lovers he was marrying were. A subtle feeling of dread washed over him staring at the pair. 

You intertwined your hands with each other upon command. “With this kiss, I pledge my love. And take you for my lady wife.” You smiled bigger than you ever had before, “With this kiss, I pledge my love. And take you for my lord husband.” The Septon cleared his voice and declared, “one flesh, one heart, one soul, now and forever.” 

Your lips crashed into each other in a searing embrace. A short-lived embrace as Daeron cleared his throat behind you. Your happiness was short lived as you both were quickly pulled apart. 

A plan was already in motion. Once the sun set and the moon rose over the horizon, the nurse would sneak out once again and inform your beloved it was safe. Then you would let a ladder fall from your balcony which he would climb up. It was the same place in the orchard where he watched you the other night.

 You would finally be able to consummate the marriage, and no one would be able to separate you. Not your parents, cousins, church, or state. Only the gods would be able to tear you from your true love… Soon you would realize how cruel the Gods could be.

[incorrectjane-andthedragon]

More context/explanations for the AU I made with @thelightfantastik that I mentioned in a previous incorrect quote. There's no real name for this AU (yet?) so I'm just going to call it the Curse and Ghost AU.

So basically:

-I always JATD as being a world with "soft" magic-Dragons and that being pretty much it-if that makes any sense, but in this AU, full blown "hard" magic exists, like magic curses and ghosts.

-John D'ark, Sir Theodore, and the unnamed woman in Sir Theodore's mysterious portrait all knew each other and eventually got caught in an extremely tangled and painful love triangle.

-Then an invading army is about to take Kippernia.

-John D'ark uses powerful and dangerous magic to destroy them all, but in order to do so, he turns himself into stone, and turns Portrait Woman into stone too, either because a.He's madly in love with Theo and has a "if I can't have you then no one else can either" mentality, or vice versa, with Portrait Woman instead. Or b. something Happened and he was agonizingly furious with them both and wanted to hurt both of them at the same time and take down the invading army in one fell swoop.

-Army is defeated, but D'ark and Portrait Woman are still stone, and Theo is left behind to pick up the pieces.

Here's where things get a little bit tricky.

-In one version of the AU, everyone knows what happened and just decide to not talk about it because, hello? World shatteringly traumatic wartime event involving magic most people don't understand? Best to just let some sleeping dogs lie and silent statues stare. Because the statue is of magical origin, it can't be moved or destroyed. It remains, a constant reminder.

-In another version of the AU, the Castle Wizard uses a spell of his own to wipe everyone's memories of what happened. He possibly even wipes some of Theodore's memories, as per his request, so he's not left shouldering the burden of everything that happened, or the memories of what the man he loved became.

-Then, somehow, D'ark and Portrait Woman get free. My personal interpretation is that a specific frequency on the dragon sword either reverses the spell or breaks the stone. D'ark is back, but far from better than ever. In fact, he's worse than ever, having spent decades frozen in a moment of blinding heartache, obsession and agony and now freshly dropped into a kingdom that has changed immensely. It's time for everyone to reckon with what they thought they could sweep under the rug. (note: in the amnesia version of events, everyone who remembered what happened would also get their memories back when he returned.)

Miscellaneous(?) stuff:

-In a version of events where Jester also dies, then that opens up a whole new can of worms, like Corrupted!D'ark and Ghost!Jester bonding and Ghost!Jester being led down a darker path.

-Also, Theodore sees parallels between D'ark and Jane, and that scares him. Maybe he can remember the exact details of what he's so afraid of, maybe he can't. Regardless, seeing Jane act a little too much like D'ark makes his stomach sink.

-Also I basically just thought of this right now- What if the secret to everything: D'ark, the curse, how to break the spell, was hidden by the Wizard in the one place no one would even know to look: The Book of Dragons created by King Bartok, hidden away? If Jane and Dragon find that book, they find out everything else too. But of course, Theodore-whether he understands why or not-knows that it is imperative that Jane and Dragon do not find that book, so he starts hindering their efforts to learn more dragon lore. This drives a wedge between Jane and her mentor, making her side more with Dragon (an allusion to the whole conflict of Jane needing to choose between the castle and Dragon in Dragonblade.)

[spaceorphan18]

Glee Musical Retrospective: Vogue (The Power of Madonna)

Sung by: Sue Sylveester Original Artist(s): Madonna

Okay... one of the most pivotal moments of the show -- right here. Look, while we'll get into the lose story connection in a minute, let's be real for a moment... The purpose for doing this is entirely for Ryan Murphy to be indulgent. This song really has no purpose except for the fact that Murphy wanted to redo an iconic music video in his own way.

And you know what? That's not a criticism. Glee is shedding its need to have the music adhere so close to the narrative and push in on doing things for the fun of it. Is that indulgence good all the time? No, not really. But this was such a fun, inspired, and brilliant performance, you can't help but smile at the ridiculousness of it.

This music video is a delight, and I'm glad that Glee just gave in to its creator's whim.

Story Analysis

The definition of the word 'vogue' is as follows...

Noun. popular acceptation or favor; a period of popularity; the leading place in popularity or acceptance Verb. to strike poses in campy imitation of fashion models especially as a kind of dance

The whole thing about 'vogue' is to be at the height of admirable popularity in the moment. Madonna was when she created the song. And Sue Sylvester wants to be in the episode. I also think there's a big fourth wall break, too, where the show was coming into the height of its popularity. It was very in vogue to be a Glee fan back in 2010 -- the show knew it was cool, and this was kind of capitalizing on that.

So, while this performance doesn't necessarily move any story beats along, it does make commentary on Sue and on the show as a whole.

I love the lengths the show goes to make this performance seem like it's something being done in the Glee world. It's Kurt's vision (with the help of Mercedes) to do a multimedia project. He has Artie direct it -- and my god, why didn't Artie put this on his resume?

(Fun fact - legendary director David Fincher did Madonna's original video, so Artie being able to recreate this is kind of amazing.)

And... it speaks to Sue's character. She wants to be the one admired, feared, loved, respected, empowered, revered, and anything else that keeps her at the center of the conversation. She wants to be the one in vogue. And I think in this meta moment, she is.

I have a few questions though --

Who thought of this song? Was it Kurt or Sue? Or even Artie? I think this song speaks to Kurt's story, too. The beginning of the song speaks to pain and heartache -- and letting it all go to enjoy the moment. I think this speaks to his personality, what inspires him, and what his aspirations are.

What were the in universe reactions to this? That's the thing about the song, though. As neat as it is to see -- there really aren't any direct story tie ins. Sue's story gets played out in other ways. And yes, this lets Kurt and Mercedes have an opportunity to join the Cheerios. But it's a shame that no one in universe even makes a comment about this video. Ah well.

The thing about this one, overall, is that while it's a big set piece of the episode, and while it does speak to both Sue and Kurt's character (and the show as a whole) - there isn't a whole lot to break down? It's funny, because I think this song is one of those things that Glee might be remembered for - but it's so kind of detached from the narrative, it makes it this interesting little side beat.

But - something to note - because this was such a hit, the show does take a turn into this direction. The show is going to push more into the spectacle of the song they've picked for better or worse, whether it's important to the narrative or not.

Technical Thoughts

Just gonna bullet point all of this...

They went out of their way to recreate the music video as much as they could -- watching the original video as they shot.

Jane does an excellent job with the song. You have to give her some bonus points, too, for making it funny on top of being an homage.

(Though if you notice - they do not make Jane do the heavy lifting dancing that Madonna does in her video. Probably for the better.)

The line 'Will Schuester - I hate you' and Kurt's reactions might be one of my favorite comedy bits from the entire show.

Speaking of Kurt -- the kid was made for this kind of classic Hollywood look. He's so good in this. (Sorry Mercedes - she's great, too, but Kurt just pulls so much focus.)

Fun fact - apparently, Naya and Heather did hand work in this, and Heather was the one in the cone bra.

They used their usual group of dancers -- and everyone in this video is just so good.

Hats off the the editors - they did a phenomenal job cutting this to be nearly identical to the original video.

I honestly don't have a ton to say about it -- it's a great performance, and you can see just how much the entire team put into making it something special.

vs. The Studio Version : There's an added two minutes to this version, though it doesn't really feel like it? The beginning is much longer, and the chorus is repeated a few more times, but that's about it.

vs. The Original Version : Well... now is your chance to compare and contrast! How did they do? Really well actually. ;) (Also - if you put it into youtube, there is someone out there who did a side by side comparison.)

[melancholypancakes]

The Lady In Red Myth

Author note: this is obviously not Canon to the sandman stories or God myths, but I figure I make up my own myth and I personally feel like this could be a real story in the sandman universe.

This will be an "x reader" since the story, not Canon and I already made an OC love interest for Morpheus.

{●●●○○○}

Centuries ago, a beautiful woman and her lover, a warlock.

The woman was a singer and dancer who attended various nightclubs.

The warlock proposal and dare he say, he could make his lover’s wildest dreams come true more than the gods and endless. He was bold yet a fool.

How dare a mortal to say such things let alone a warlock.

The warlock did both dark and light magic by playing God and messing with the dreaming realm to fulfill his selfish and his lover’s desires without her knowing.

Unbeknownst to the Warlock he would be visited by Dream of the endless, but it would not be a friendly visit. 

 The Warlock had angered the Endless and cursed him into slumber to never be awoken again. 

When the woman came home to see her lover sleeping, she tried to wake him, but it was no use, and she feared the worst as she cried waterfall tears. 

As far as any doctor knew he was asleep until a witch told her what was truly wrong with her beloved was in danger. 

The witch told the young woman her lover had messed with the gods and foolishly “dream of the endless” and if she wanted to save her lover, she must travel to the dreaming realm and save his soul. 

The woman knew what needed to be done and she wasn’t about to let the endless take away her lover.

So, With the witch’s help the young mortal woman traveled to the dreaming realm and woo the dreaming creatures to let her through the gate through her singing.

It wasn’t until she was able to reach the throne room that she saw her lover broken and beaten down, 

There a King of the dreaming, Morpheus, dream of the endless was standing over him. but the woman soon stood in the way and the warlock was relieved he was saved, and his lover returned to him.

The young woman begged the King to have mercy for her lover did not know what he had truly done. 

Morpheus was not forgiving, especially to a mortal. He refused and did not listen as she begged and begged with tears falling from her eyes. 

“Take me instead!” she says as she screams and as the king hesitates, there was a way, but his subjects urge him not to make this action. 

He hasn’t even considered it in eons and the mortal woman notices his hesitation. 

“Name your price! I’ll do it please!” she begs once again as the dreaming residents heard and saw the mortal woman on her knees begging their King. 

“There...is a way,” he said coldly as if he couldn’t seem crueler. the Endless said the mortal woman had to make a deal with him. 

The lover had to sign her soul away to the King in order to save her male lover’s life. 

It was fair in a way and she had to do this for the King to let go of her lover from tormenting him or worse sending him to the shadow realm. 

So, without hesitation, the mortal woman looks the endless dead in the eye and signs the paper as a bright light shown and she looks away finishing her cursive writing. 

When the deed was done the mortal lovers reunited happily but, in the end, how does her male lover repay her? 

By running off with some mistress, the lover cried and cried of heartache as she saw her male lover leave her for some bimbo. 

The Mortal woman had asked if she were to die would she feel a thing and he responded, “You won’t feel a thing when you go down, nothing will wake you again.” 

Not months sooner, she died of a broken heart and her soul indeed travel to the dreaming realm, and for eternity spend her afterlife as “The Lady in Red” Crying looking for someone to fix her broken heart... 

Little did The Lady in Red know, her King cared for her deeply as all his subjects but also pity the poor woman with his beating heart. 

[cryunderthewillowtree]

Coral Streaks – Chapter 4

Synopsis – In which she loves him, but he's utterly, painfully clueless. Awra always believed love should be easy – a beautiful gift from Eywa herself. But when she falls for the oldest Sully, it's a love filled with trial. A tale of coming apart and finding your way back.

Related Warnings: Eventual Smut (Aged Up Characters), Language, Descriptions of assault, Harassment

Characters – Neteyam x Fem Metkayina!reader

Related Tags: Major Angst, Slow-Burn, Friends-To-Lovers, Heartache, Tension, Hurt/Comfort

Notes: Posting this from my Ao3 account, please feel free to head over there to read this story as well! I realised only after being 14 chapters in that I spelt Omatikaya wrong this entire time – my apologies in advance. But please enjoy this story nonetheless!

[Do not interact with this story if you are underage.]

“Neteyam!” Awra whisper-shouts. She cringes at the sound of her own voice, even a whisper sounds far too loud at this time of eclipse. “Neteyam!”

She peeks into the Sully marui desperately, trying to get a glimpse of the oldest Ometicayan boy, but it’s pitch black inside the pod and she can only vaguely make out a few sleeping forms in the farthest corner. She strains her eyes in the darkness, trying to see if she can spot Neteyam amongst the Sullys, but to no avail. The moonlight only illuminates a few feet into the pod, and she can feel her patience wearing thin. “Neteyam! Are you here?” 

No response. Behind her, the sound of nightlife stirs gently – animals click and chirp to each other in the undergrowth, and down by the shore comes the sounds of waves breaking. The air is unusually still tonight, and the sound of her own voice reverberating through the air both alarms her and frustrates her. God, where is that thickheaded boy! She clicks her tongue quietly, debating if she should attempt to enter the Sully marui to see if she could wake Neteyam. She eyes the sleeping bodies in the back warily as she contemplates her next move. It’ll be really bad if I got caught. Really, really bad. 

But it was this or spend the next hour waiting aimlessly outside the Sully marui like a fool. Or worse, risk someone spotting her loitering outside the pod and informing her parents about it. She shivered at the thought of her parent’s reaction to her sneaking around the Sully’s pod at night – her mother had already warned her about spending too much time around the forest dwellers. It was hard enough as is to go about her day-to-day without feeling her mother’s unnerving stare down the back of spine, if she were caught now she’d surely be grounded for months; or even years. Awra shakes her head at that thought, sighing in resignation. Anything had to be better than being caught at this point, plus she’d already snuck out successfully so it’d be a waste to just head back home.. Biting her lip, she grabs the sides of the Sully marui and hoists herself up delicately. Trying her hardest to be quiet, she finds herself holding her breath as she carefully tiptoes towards the heap of sleeping bodies. She can see Jake Sully lying next to Neytiri, both of them completely unguarded for once; eyes closed as their chests rise and fall with their slumber. It’s almost uncanny watching them sleep – the mighty Toruk Makto vulnerable and unguarded for once. 

Her eyes travel across the other sleeping figures, landing on Kiri and Tuk cuddled up next to each other next to their parents. Tuk’s hand is draped across Kiri’s waist, her face squished into her sister’s collarbone. She smiles at the line of drool down the corner of the youngest’s mouth, before turning to last body huddled up on a pile of bedding at the far corner of the pod. It’s Lo’ak, wrapped into himself far away from his siblings. His tail is wrapped around his own thigh, and he’s mumbling incoherently in his sleep. Awra has to stifle a snort. He looks so young like this – no getting into trouble or loudmouthing. But where is Neteyam? She glances over around the pod one final time for good measure but the oldest Ometicayan is just nowhere to be found. Where is that boy?

Confused, Awra turns and starts cautiously making her way back to the entrance of the marui. When she’s almost there, she steps on a loose piece of seagrass next to the fireplace and it crackles under her foot. She freezes at the noise, looking back at the sleeping family to see if anyone had heard. Lo’ak’s ear twitched in his sleep, but he turned right over and went back to sleep. She heaves a small sigh of relief, tiptoeing the rest of the way out of the pod; silently lifting herself out of the pod and dropping into the sand below. Outside, there is no movement, but she takes care to check her surroundings before leaving. Neteyam’s not sleeping in his family’s pod, so where could he be? Where would he go at this time of night? 

“Awra?” Comes a hushed whisper from behind her. Awra shrieks, whipping her head around to find a bewildered Neteyam staring at her inquisitively. His hand is raised, probably to tap her on the shoulder, but it’s frozen in middair. She clamps a hand over her own mouth, glaring at him.

“Neteyam? What’re you doing here? Where did you go?” She whisper-scolds, grabbing his arm and dragging him away from his family’s marui. “I was looking for you, but you weren’t in your pod. I could’ve gotten found out you skxwng!”

“What? Why were you looking–”

“Where did you go! It’s dangerous to be out at this time of night you know!” She berates, still pulling him in the direction of a small alcove near the edges of the cluster of marui pods. He’s still confused, letting Awra pull him towards the beach. She puts both hands on his shoulders, forcing him to sit down on a large flat stone in the alcove. It’s a secluded part of the beach, shielded from view by tall trees and other vegetation; the perfect place for the type of conversation she’s about to have. 

She sighs, turning around to face him. Neteyam is looking up at her, trepidation on his face as he takes in the way she’s standing with her hands on her hips. “Did I…do something?” He asks timidly, tail flicking behind him. He’s staring at her, that same pleading look in his eyes.

Suddenly, the night chill feels too cold, and goosebumps rise on her arms. She realised she’d never even planned out how she intended to start this conversation with Neteyam. Eywa, she was horrible at confronting her feelings, much less trying to articulate them to another Na’vi. A Na’vi I have feelings for. 

She swallows, gesturing for him to scoot over on the rock. He does so, patting the space next to him as an invitation to sit. She gets comfortable on the rock, tail coming to rest beside her thigh as she looks into his eyes. She can’t help but realise how close they are on the rock, shoulder to shoulder and she can even count the bioluminscent freckles all over his face and neck. They’re beautiful, she thinks, and has to resist the urge to reach out and trace the light blue markings all over his cheeks. Neteyam clears his throat, looking away shyly as she stares unabashedly at his face.

“What…what did you want to talk about?” He asks, gazing at the ocean. Awra feels her cheeks warm, coughing as she turns to face the ocean as well, the salty breeze cool and refreshing as it washes over her cheeks. 

“Right, um well. I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday. On the beach.” She deadpans, turning to look at him. “About what I said.”

He hums at that, eyes darting to look at her before he looks away again. “Ah about that, it’s fine. I’m cool.” He replies, a tinge of something in his voice Awra can’t identify. He chuckles, but it sounds forced, and Awra decides that she doesn’t like the sound of that. 

She frowns at his response. “Wait, what? Are you sure? But Kiri–” She catches herself, snapping her mouth shut. She cringes, licking over her canines as he turns to look at her at the mention of his sister’s name. As he turns his head, his braids spill over his shoulder, and the beads tinkle in the night air. “Forget I said that. What I meant was, you didn’t–”

“What about Kiri? Did she say something?” He asks, before quickly adding: “I’m fine, really. I know I probably caught you at a bad time.”

“No, she didn’t say anything. Just that you seemed sad, that’s all. I just wanted to…check in with you. Make sure you were okay y’know?” She says, playing with her fingers. “I know I wasn’t really nice to you yesterday, and I guess I felt really bad about it. So I wanted to apologise.”

Neteyam snorts. “Awra, I’m not bothered because you weren’t nice to me.” He retorts, and Awra raises an eyebrow. He snickers, the sound more genuine this time. “But I appreciate you checking up on me.” 

She can’t shake the feeling that he’s trying to downplay his feelings. His replies have been superficial at best – and she can’t help but feel like they’re facades to hide how much he’s upset by her behaviour. While she feels guilty that she made him feel that way, Awra’s also frustrated that he keep dismissing her as if this conversation isn’t hard enough as it is already. 

She looks at him, resolve steely in her eyes. “Neteyam, look at me.” She says sternly. He raises an eyebrow in surprise, turning fully to face her and crossing his legs on the rock. 

“I know you were upset by what happened on the beach yesterday. Kiri told me, so stop trying to deny it.” She insists, and she watches his expression morph from surprise to confusion. His lips part, and Awra can already feel the excuse before it leaves his mouth. “No, you listen. I know what I did wasn’t very kind, and you didn’t deserve that. You didn’t do anything wrong Neteyam, it was completely my fault. I shouldn’t have lashed out at you like that, and I know that.”

He’s listening intently now, an expression she can’t quite make out crossing his features. His eyes are wide, and in the light of the eclipse, the amber is vivid and she can almost make out flecks of gold in his irises. Neteyam is still as she talks, hands perched on his lap as his ears twitch periodically. “I’m sorry for what I said on the beach, okay? I just had a lot on my mind, and I wanted some time to myself to think. You just caught me at a bad time,”

He smiles at that, a timid smirk as she uses his words. “But it’s still not an excuse for me to talk to you that way. Yeah, that’s it. I just wanted to apologise. You can stop smiling like that now, skwng.” Neteyam has a goofy smile on his face, and she shoves him playfully. “Hey! I just apologised. Could you at least pretend to take it seriously?”

Neteyam chuckles at that, swatting her hands away. His tail flicks playfully behind him, and she’d be lying if she said it wasn’t nice to hear him laugh genuinely. “Take it seriously! Neteyam! Kiri said you were upset, hey–”

“Thank you, Awra. I appreciate your kind words, really.” He interrupts, a smile still on his face. Neteyam’s smiling so hard his fangs are showing, and you scowl playfully. “But seeing you so serious makes me laugh. So you must forgive me. I am not making fun of you.”

Awra rolls her eyes at his words, shoving his shoulder again. He shoves her back, and the sound of your childish banter fills the quiet night air. She giggles when she grab at his tail and he bares his fangs, cackling as he tries to grab at hers back but fails miserably. It feels nice to be so carefree, and for a moment, her mother’s words are pushed to the very recesses of her mind. Being around Neteyam just felt so liberating, and Awra was reminded of why she’d spent all those weeks and nights devising plans to sneak out with him to explore the ocean at night. 

One firm shove against her shoulder knocks her off balance, and Awra careens off the rock. As she fall, she finds herself shrieking again, grabbing at the Ometicayan’s arms to steady herself. Instead, Neteyam topples with her, both of you rolling like infants in the warm sand. Awra can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation – she’d come out here with a heavy heart to apologise, but now she finds yourself covered in sand whilst Neteyam snickers. “You look crazy, you’ve got so much sand in your hair!” He snorts, throwing a handful of sand your way.

She rolls out of way, grumbling while dusting the particles out of her queue. “Oh yeah?” She grabs a fistful of sand as well, brandishing it in front of herself. He rolls his eyes and smiles, darting around her and grabbing her from behind before tackling her into the sand. Awra gasps at the contact, and barely has time to respond before she lands with a loud thud.. She can feel his bare torso pressed up against her back, and her tail is sandwiched between their bodies. He’s cackling softly in her ear, before gently releasing her as he rolls over and sits up.

“I won!” He states triumphantly, an impish smile on his face. His fangs poke out, leaving little indents in his bottom lip. She grumbles, but feels her cheeks warm at the ghost of the feeling of being held. She sits up in the sand as well, sulkily dusting sand out of her hair and off her arms and legs. 

“I’m all sandy now, no thanks to you genius.” She mumbles, shaking her hair. He just laughs, watching her try (and fail) to remove all the sand from her braids. Awra shoots a glare at him, and he laughs before reaching over to help brush sand out of her hair. She feels herself warm again at the contact, even more so when he runs a gentle hand down the length of her queue. The contact is electric, and she feels her mind blank at the feeling.

“Wait Nete–”

“I’m just helping you, stop being so difficult. Come here.” He orders, tugging on her arm to sit opposite him. She moves on autopilot, sitting crosslegged in front of Neteyam as he runs a hand down her queue again. Goosebumps rise on her arms, and she feels herself shudder as he continues to lightly brush down her queue to remove the sand particles. “Maybe it was a mistake to play wrestle in the sand. It’s impossible to get out.” 

She snorts at that. “You think?” He says nothing, but continues his feather-light touches. She feels herself lean into his touch, her cheeks warming at the pleasant feeling. He chuckles lightly under his breath, “Enjoying yourself?”

Awra scowls at him, pulling away as she tugs her queue out of his hands. “Oh yeah?” She reaches out and grab the long braid that hangs down his back, squeezing firmly before dragging her palm down the length of it. Awra snickers mischeviously, expecting him to hiss or shove her away. But instead, he freezes, eyes wide as he stares at her. For a moment, Awra cheers. “Looks like the mighty Neteyam has been outdone!” She gloats, running her hand up the queue again.

This time, he doubles over, clamping a hand over his mouth. He chokes out a cough, and for a moment, Awra panics. Had she gone too far? She hurriedly lets go of his queue, the long braided appendage falling into his lap as he straightens up. “Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

He’s blushing. Awra stops mid-sentence, and she feels her eyebrows raise into her hairline. Neteyam is blushing, a purple flush all over his cheeks and nose. He notices her staring and turns away, a mortified groan leaving his chest. “Neteyam?”

He just clears his throat again, looking at her with a forced smile. “Yeah?” He rasps. Awra fills a tingle run up her spine at the timbre of his voice. Is it me or did his voice just get deeper? 

“Are you okay? I didn’t mean to overstep.” She apologises, still staring at his purple cheeks. He smiles at her, an awkward one, and shakes his head.

“It’s okay, you didn’t. I was just shocked. What were we talking about?” He answers, avoiding eye contact. She looks at him incedulously. His cheeks are still flushed, and his tail is ramrod straight behind him; as if he’s stressed out or on high alert. Awra notices his fidgeting, and the way he can’t seem to look her in the eyes. Realisation sinks in all of a sudden, and she can’t help the impish grin from creeping onto her face. She covers her mouth with her hand, before slyly reaching for his queue again.

“That’s good, I was worried I was making you uncomfortable.” She starts, and he chokes again as she grabs hold of his queue. “Here, let me help you too. You’ve got sand in your hair.” As she says that, she drags her hand firmly up the queue, and down the length of it in two quick successions. Neteyam’s reaction is immediate: he bites down on his fingers again and leans over. What sounds like a choking cough follows, as he reaches with his other hand to snatch his queue away from her. Awra refuses to relent, and holds it even tighter. 

“What’s wrong?” She asks coyly, still keeping a firm hold. He shakes his hand, but she can see his cheeks darken. She brings her hand up the queue again, and the reaction it elicits from Neteyam has her gut coiling. The Ometicayan boy whimpers, a soft shuddery sound that she almost misses. It makes her ears twitch, and she licks over her canines in her mouth. 

“Stop, stop Awra.” He chokes out, and Awra relents. She lets go of his queue, and he grabs it before swinging it over his shoulder. “Eywa.” He mumbles, before straightening himself.

“What was that about?” She questions, feigning innocence. He stares at her, the flush still adorning his cheeks. He refuses to look at her, staring off into the vegetation behind her. 

“Nothing, it was nothing.” He gasps out, rubbing a hand over his face.

“That was nothing?” She teases, and he groans in embarrassment. 

“Awra, please.” She laughs, and he rolls his eyes at her. “Just forget you saw that, okay?”

Awra just giggles again, holding her own queue. “Never knew they were so sensitive. Interesting.” Neteyam’s eyes widen even further when he hears her, staring at her in shock.

“We’re not supposed to talk about that.” He mumbles, a shy smile on his face. 

“Talk about what? Our queues?” She taunts, flipping her queue over her shoulder. She looks at him smugly, reaching over to pinch a flushed cheek. “You’re blushing so hard Neteyam, it’s cute.”

His breath hitches at that, and she smiles at his reaction. If only you knew, Neteyam. “Y’know, for a warrior, you’re surprisingly shy. It’s funny.” She says, watching him chuckle at her comment. He just shakes his head at her, and the banter dies down into a comfortable silence. Awra looks up at him through her eyelashes, only to see him staring at her; an unreadable expression on his face.

“Is there something on my face?” She asks, swiping at her cheeks self consciously. He doesn’t say anything, but moves himself closer to her. He’s sitting in face-to-face with her, their shins touching as his tail comes to rest on her thigh. It’s Awra’s turn to be flustered, and she leans away to put space between them. “What’re you–”

Neteyam leans forward, and then she’s kissing him. 

For a moment, she doesn’t understand what’s going on. All she knows is she can smell his scent all around – a comforting mix of the forest and sea. And that his lips are soft, and pressed firmly against hers. And then, as quick as he came, Neteyam pulls away. Awra stays rooted to her spot, lips still tingling at the contact and very much in shock.

“What–” She gasps, looking at Neteyam. He looks shocked, like he hadn’t expected himself to do that either.

“Sorry–”

“What happened–”

They say at the same time, before Neteyam surges forward. “I’m sorry, Awra. I – I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.” He’s panicking, searching her face for any signs of disgust or anger. Awra just stares at him, blinking. “Awra? Awra!” 

“Neteyam.” Is all she says in return, bringing a hand up to touch her lips. “Did you just kiss me?”

He looks guilty, ears flattened against his skull as he nods. “I’m sorry–”

“It’s okay. I…I liked it.” Awra whispers, still touching her lips. Neteyam’s eyes widen, and his shoulders slump in relief. “Give me a warning next time.” She adds, a small smile on her lips. He kissed me! He kissed me? She couldn’t believe what just happened. Neteyam had kissed her. He’d leant over and kissed her, on the mouth, out of nowhere. Neteyam. The Golden Child, Mr Perfect Ometicayan warrior. He’d kissed her. 

“Are you sure? I’m not sure what I was thinking, I apologis. It was my fault, I wasn’t thinking clearly.” He’s rambling, kneeling in front of you as you stare at him. “Forgive me.” Awra blinks again, mind still a blank. She grabs his hands, lacing their fingers together as she climbs into his lap. 

Neteyam freezes, falling backward as he looks at the girl climb into his lap. “Awra, wait. What–”

Awra just smiles shyly, before kissing him again. For a moment, he doesn’t move; just sitting frozen. His breathing is erratic, eyes wide open. She rolls her eyes at him, grabbing his hands from where they’re bracing on the ground behind him, and bringing them to her hips. “Hold here, silly.” His hands wrap around her hips, and she registers how large his palms are. They’re so big, and warm too. A warm tingle coils in her belly at the sensation of the callouses on his palms as he grips her waist, still tense and nervous.

“Wait–” He cuts in, tail flicking.

“Shush.” She interrupts, cupping his cheek. He stares at her, beautiful amber eyes dilated as he pants. “Open your mouth.” He hesitates, and she can see him fighting his instinct and responsibility. He seems to consider this for a moment, before his lids slide shut and he parts his lips. She smiles at that, sliding her tongue into his mouth and kisses him deeply. As she does so, her other hand comes to rest around his shoulders, stroking the lean column of his neck.

She feels Neteyam shudder as she licks the roof of his mouth, and warmth spreads from the base of her tail to her stomach. His hands stay firmly at her waist where she’d left them, trembling and leaving small indents in her skin. She smiles into the kiss, using a finger to trace his adam’s apple as she sucks on his tongue. He whimpers at that, tail curling around her thigh as he leans in towards her. She sighs at the contact, reaching down to move his hands from her hips to her back.

“You can move them you know? I’m giving you permission.” She whispers. His pupils dilate at that, but his hands don’t budge. 

“Are – are you sure? Awra, I–” He starts, panting as he stares at her lips. She just smiles and nods, arching her back to get closer to him. He groans at that, a deep throaty sound that comes from his chest. She shuts her eyes, enjoying the contact before slotting her mouth over his again. He’s more vocal this time, sighing in pleasure as they part for air. His left hand slides from her waist to her back, before sliding up to rest between her shoulder blades. She shudders at the sensation, and lets him apply pressure between her shoulder blades to urge her closer to him. Awra licks over his canines, and he groans. 

“God–” He whimpers, hand sliding down her back and coming to rest at the base of her tail. She whimpers at the sensation, sliding her own hands around his neck and bracing on his chest. He nibbles on her lower lip, and she lets out a keen when she feels his fangs dig ever so lightly into the plush of her lip. “Awra–”

She slides her hands down his chest, enjoying the feeling of smooth, firm muscle. He shivers, still licking into her mouth. When she reaches his stomach, she stops, pulling away from his mouth. He leans back, panting harshly as he licks the saliva off his lips. Her stomach feels warm, and all she can feel is him, him, him. His scent, his touch, the way he says her name. It’s intoxicating.

“How far do you want to go?” She hushes out, pecking him on the lips. He sighs, kissing her back as his hand slides to her waist again. Her mind feels like it’s hazy, and her body feels hot. “Neteyam?”

“I don’t know.” He rasps, voice hoarse. His voice sends a tickle up your spine. “But we should stop.” He gasps, but leans in to kiss her again. She whines into the kiss, hands dipping to rub the strip of skin above the strap of his loincloth.

He pulls away at that, gasping harshly. “Wait–”

Through lidded eyes, she lets one finger trace the length of his loincloth. He gasps again, eyes sliding closed as he shudders. He grabs her hands, forcing his eyes open. “Don’t, Awra, I–”

She slips one finger beneath the loincloth, dragging a blunt fingernail against his skin. He moans, hips bucking up. He tries to muffle his sounds with his forearm, his cheeks turning that wonderful hue of purple again. She smirks, withdrawing her finger and drawing circles into his stomach instead. “Eywa.” He chokes out, looking at her with furrowed brows. “We should stop here.” He repeats, grabbing her hands and bringing them away from his loincloth. 

Awra pouts at that, but lets him manhandle him off her lap. He puts her down gently on the sand, avoiding eye contact. She can feel her body thrum with the intensity of their activities, and she curls into herself as he sets himself down next to her. He’s silent for a while, picking at the sand between them, before he breaks the silence. “We should talk about that.”

“Did you not want it?” She interrupts abruptly, looking away. Away from his body heat, she feels the chill of night set in. “Did you?”

Neteyam sighs, a deep tired sound. “I–I don’t know.” He mumbles. She swallows at his response, the air suddenly too suffocating between them.

“Then why’d you let me kiss you then?” She snaps, turning to glare at him. “Explain yourself.” He still avoids her eyes, looking down as he sighs again. 

“I don’t have an answer, Awra.” He starts, voice trailing off. “I think I was just lost in the moment, and got carried away. I didn’t mean to do any of that.”

She feels her chest constrict at that, shame burning at the corners of her eyes. She feels small all of a sudden, and the urge to run away makes itself apparent. “Oh.” Is all she grits out, feeling her heart pound in her chest. What? There’s a lump in her throat, and she can feel her eyes stinging. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry Awra, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.” Neteyam says, remorse flooding his voice. He turns to look at her, curled up and miserable. He reaches for her, but she flinches away violently. “Awra–”

“It’s fine. It’s fine, whatever.” She mutters, standing up and brushing the sand off her thighs aggressively. She can feel a tear make its way down her cheek, and she swipes at it furiously. Humiliation burns ferociously in her gut, and she wants to throw up. I have to get away. “I’m gonna go.” 

“Wait, Awra! Wait–” Neteyam calls after her, but she picks up her pace, sprinting back towards the village. She feels stupid, skwng, like she’s made a fool out of herself. What have I done? What was I thinking? As she runs, she feels more tears leak out of her eye, and she stifles the sobs threatening to leave her as she nears her family’s marui pod. She hauls herself into the pod before collapsing into a heap near the entrance. She feels too exposed, too vulnerable. I let him touch me, put his hands on me. I told him to touch me. I’m an idiot. She chides herself, sobbing silently in the quiet of the night. What was I thinking? 

She cries silently until her eyes are sore, and her eyelids swollen. She crawls onto a pile of bedding, curling into a fetal position. You’ve really outdone yourself this time, skwng, she thinks. Mother was right about him. I should have listened to her. I should have listened. She falls into a deep sleep, and dreams of nothing.

[sevensins-stuff]

I posted 2,030 times in 2022

195 posts created (10%)

1,835 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@eternallydaydreaming2015

@lettheratsin

@rsmrymnt-tea

@otome-on-the-side

I tagged 684 of my posts in 2022

#ask me - 96 posts

#143 cupid - 31 posts

#obey me - 29 posts

#obey me swd - 25 posts

#om - 22 posts

#omswd - 22 posts

#anon ask - 18 posts

#romeo tag💗 - 12 posts

#lucifrrs - 12 posts

#lol - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#my ultimate hc is that mc reminds the brothers so much of lilith because she took after the humans she had so much love for already

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Just finished the event and I could give it a 5/10. The event honestly would've been fine without the keyed stories since they were incomplete. My biggest problem with the events now is that the devs are trying to force in every character they have (but no thirteen this time, surprise surprise!). And then you have Satan with his cat obsession and new to the crew, Barbatos' only other personality outside of being a butler as knife throwing. It was hot when it was confirmed, but now that's all he does if it has nothing to do with tea or baking with his adaptive son. Overall, the story was alright. Something obviously could've happened within the plot but didn't because of the sheer amount of characters they had to stuff in and introduce in a single lesson.

48 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

#4

Hello, first time here! Can i request an MC that naturally shares food? Like regardless of what they eating they just go and "hey want some?" even if it's like, a bar of chocolate or a whole small cake (and will likely feed the other person)

The demon brothers react to an mc that naturally shares food

"Hey, want some?"

Lucifer

He doesn't really like sweet foods, but one small bite wouldn't kill him.

He obliges to the piece of cake you offer him and he takes the fork from your hand, feeding himself.

He does like that you think about sharing with him often, but he wouldn't let you feed him unless he were knocking on death's door.

He's overexagerating but he's too proud to let himself be babied by you

Mammon

As much as he wants to say no, he's a real sucker for you.

It's so hard for him to look at you while he opens his mouth so expectantly...all for a potato chip.

It's almost embarrassing to feed him since he makes it feel like something so taboo

But he's just too cute to refuse.

See the full post

53 notes - Posted February 6, 2022

#3

Ficlets

💞=Fluff ❤️‍🔥=Smut 💔=Angst

Lucifer

"You're disgusting." ❤️‍🔥

"I quit." (Human lawyer!Lucifer au)

"It's a horrible world we live in." 💞 (au with 2 Fem!ocs)

"Don't touch me." 💔

"You make me sick." 💔

"I hate everything about you." 💔

"I am doing this for my kingdom." 💔

"Tell me what you are really like." (/F!mc) 💔

"Don’t pretend like you’re proud of me, you condescending dick." (/F!mc) 💔

"You look so sad when you think he can’t see you." (/F!mc) 💔

"Can you hate someone and love them at the same time?"/"Everyone is going to have to pick a side. Even you." 💔

Accidental touches (x F!mc) 💞

"How long have you been standing there?" 💞

Aspectabund (x F!mc) 💞

Spy!Lucifer x Intelligence!Reader ❤️‍🔥

“Red is the perfect color on your skin.” (/F!mc) 💔

Mammon

Heartache 💔

"Don't touch me." 💔

"We might as well get to know each other." (x F!mc) 💞

"Great. Really great, this is just perfect."/"Please, don’t make this worse than it already is." 💔

"How does that make it okay?" (/F!mc) 💔

"You seem to care for the human." 💔

"Don’t even think that for one second."/"Maybe you’ll stop missing me one day, but I’ll never stop loving you." 💔

See the full post

72 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

#2

Headcanons

Slice of life

Not fully dressed

Demon bros comfort mc

Mc proposes

Solomon falls in love (F!mc)

Dirty texts

An introduction to Halloween

A guide to the demon brothers 1 (horns)

A guide to the demon brothers 2 (wings & tails)

Kissing in secret

Mc just wants to fight

Movie dates

Satan takes someone's virginity

Mc is comfortable and confident

Sharing chocolates

Team Solomon

Little shameful things

Levi getting caught

Relationship with Simeon

Chubby mc with Diavolo

Comfort with Levi, Asmo, & Simeon

Late night love songs

Relationship with Belphie

An mc that likes to share

See the full post

95 notes - Posted January 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Headcanon based on this fun fact!

They weren't always as close as they seem. The prince had a certain face to keep on at all times, but the sorcerer was different. Free from any and all obligations, he could notbring himself to feel threatened by the prince's status. That filled the prince with a rage later titled jealousy.

The sorcerer would make his presence greatly known within the Devildom. Just as these demons promised their unwavering loyalty to the prince, their loyalties waivered with the pacts they made to the sorcerer. To the human, it was a joke, a dance. A game. However, to the prince who grew tired of his disrespect, it was a challenge. A challenge best solved, as he thought, face to face.

And so, he called out to the sorcerer and issued him a challenge he couldn't refuse. A fight to the death, as per demon customs. Winner takes the throne. Surely a difficult offer for the sorcerer to pass up. So he heartily agreed.

The prince was the first to attack. Hoping to get a quick hit in, he moved with the inhuman speed he was born with. But the sorcerer was not phased one bit. Not with the demon's speed. Not by his challenge. And certainly not with his jealousy, which he had anticipated. Blind with rage, the prince failed to notice when the sorcerer inflicted a shrinking spell on him. Although he did manage to get the first hit, it didn't have the impact he was hoping for.

The human reached down and pinched the collar of the demon's shirt to lift high in the air. Just high enough for the prince to witness the sour smile that painted itself onto the scorcerer's face. Humiliation, a fate worse than death. The prince quickly admitted defeat.

"I will admit my defeat. The throne is yours. Now end my suffering so that I will not have to live with this taint to my bloodline."

The sorcerer chuckled. "I'm not in the business of killing you. Or taking your throne , for that matter."

"Then what do you want from me?"

"A pact from that butler of yours. He intrigues me greatly."

157 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[knifvd]

009 - My Fade to your Neon (Sorry Neon)

  𝙎𝙀𝙏 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙎𝘾𝙀𝙉𝙀. 𝙖𝙘𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜.    ♡  009, an empty cemetery at night.   ♡ @galaxythixf

            (    you  left  him  .   no  beating  around  the  BUSH   :  he  was  the  only  one  who  really  cared  .   remember  the  day  clear  as  yesterday  ,   the  big  GRIN  and  sweeping  hug  he  pulled  you  into  ,   through  hot  tears  that  rolled  down  both  of  your  faces   .   MY  BABY'S  GONNA  BE  A  HERO   ,   he  said  ,   and  squeezed  your  shoulders  hard  enough  to  the  point  you  thought  you'd  bruise  .   you're  no  stranger  to  it  ,   the  lingering  cloud  above  your  head   ,  heart  in  your  stomach   ,   regret  no  more  than  an  old  friend  coming  to  visit  you  time  and  TIME  again  ,   but  feels  different  this  time  .

          feels  worser  than  all  the  TIMES  you  threw  out  extra  food  instead  of  saving  it  when  you  knew  papa  was  still  squeezing  the  last  out  of  his  because  BILLS   were  a  little  harder  to  make  that  month  .   worser  than  when  you  screamed  at  him  for  being  an  awful  father  for  not  letting  you  see  mama  .   it's  worse  than  that  .   you  should've  listened  .  should've  listened  when  he  said  he  wasn't  feeling  well   .   when  he  asked  for  no  more  MONEY  ,  but  only  for  you  to  visit  .  that  he  only  wished  to  see  his  daughter  .   )

         neon  can  feel  it  ;   the  tears  burning  in  her  eyes  ,  bitter  and  with  DISGUST  ,  lingering  in  the  bottom  of  her  throat  as  she  looks  at  marble  gravestone  ,   calloused  hands  reaching  out  to  trace  out  the  carved  name  into  it  .  she  aches  ,  and  she  aches  ,  and  never  stops  ACHING   .   bottom  lip  trembles  ,  finally  settles  into  her  spot  at  the  gravesite  ,  knees  bent  and  head  between  them  ;  hands  on  top  of  her  head  ,  as  if  PROTECTING  herself  from  a  blow  that's  never  to  come  .

        and  then  it  comes  .  a  heartaching  sob  ,  gutwrenching  and  the  KIND  that  makes  her  voice  hoarse   :  pays  no  mind  to  the  rest  of  the  headstones  ,   the  darkness  of  the  night  to  envelope  her  and  almost  seem  to  mute  her  sobs   ,  but  she  doesn't  stop  ,  she  can't  .  cries  ,  and  cries   ,  lets  the  graves  of  the  others  hear  it  and  ring  out  ,   a  personal  little  pity  party  for  HER  .   picks  head  up  ,  and  the  crackling  of  steps  on  branches  is  enough  to  make  her  snap  head  back  :   cheeks  and  eyes  red  from  tears  still  rolling  ,  bangs  casting  shadow  on  her  features   as  given  by  the  lamps  above  .

         scrubs   her  face  with  PUFFY  coat   ,   clears  her  throat  from  the  snot  that's  fallen  ,  but  voice  still  breaks   .    (    it's  her   .   you'd  never  admit  it  ,  but  there's  a  certain  kind  of  SAFETY  that  lingers  on  your  shoulders   ,  even  in  here  ,  even  in  here  .   feel  your  shoulders  untense   .   bastard  child  you  are  ,  to  feel  the  SOFTNESS   and  warmth  from  ice  child  ,  the  girl  who  knew  every  single  aching  thing  about  you  .   every  single  thing  you  feared  .  you  should  fear  her  .  you  should  .  you  should   .  but  you  still  have  it  :  golden  notes  of  laughter  in  your  tone  whenever  you  see  HER   ,  almost  eager   to  keep  her  engaged  ,  something  you'd  never  find  yourself   doing  for  anyone  else  .  what  makes  her  so  special  ?    she's   fear  .   you  should  fear  her  .  but  you  don't  .  you  don't  ,  you  don't   .  even  now  , you  don't  .  even  here  .  especially  here  .   THE  REGRET  in  your  throat  seems  to  leave  ,  and  it  feels  like  coming  home  ;  seeing  expression  on  her  features  .   and  just  for  a  moment  ,   a  split  moment  ,   it's  just  a  little  better  .    )   

          ❛      i  know  .   i  --  i  know   i'm  not  supposed  to  be  here  .  don't  ...   don't  tell  brim  or  sage  ,  'kay   ?   please  ?     ❜        and  she's  begging  ,  no  trace  of  usual  golden  tones  lingering  in  electric  voice  ,  nothing  short  of  greyness  in  her  features  ,  in  her  tone  ,   in  her  body   .   eyes  linger  on  the  other's  features  ,   as  if  READY   to  say  something  ,  but  falls  short  ,  muttering  something  in  tagalog  before  turning  back  to  the  gravestone  .            ❛      i'll  be  back  before  morning  training  .  i  just  needed  to  ...     ❜        needed  to  apologize  .

[mycharacterdump]

Sun Bleached Flies

𝐒𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆, 𝟏𝟗𝟗𝟖

We all know how it goes The more it hurts, the less it shows But I still feel like they all know And that's why I could never go back home And I spend my life Watching it go by from the sidelines And God, I've tried But I think it's about time I put up a fight.

As far as Jensens and Wozniaks went, Sebastian teetered closer toward his maternal side, and the side of which he inherited his surname. Wozniaks were sincere, rational, and above all else wise. His mum certainly had been, even when she had every reason in the world to rebel against her family name and make a wreck of their lives after losing their father and sister. She was what inspired him — maybe because they were attached at the hip, quite literally, from the time he was a babe — but she was also what drove him to falling headlong into the eyes of a girl who he could never have. It should've been obvious the moment she exchanged that first glance with his brother, and yet there he was, reeling in a childhood bedroom he scarcely remembered and trying to keep his heart from fracturing any worse than it already had. He was prolifically one of the more emotional Wozniak children, alongside his oldest sister, but he always thought she had a better reason to be cross with people and the world they lived in. He hadn't anticipated for her to knock gently on his bedroom door and poke her head inside, offering a smile that could cure any heartache. She pulled a bushel of brown hair behind an ear and shut the door after her once she'd entered.

Sebastian and Maisie had an unspoken agreement that they were twin flames. They may have been the furthest apart in age, but no matter what, she always understood his strife, as he did hers. Whatever he was feeling; if his blood was rushing in his veins, if his lungs backpedaled, if his whole stomach turned inside out, she could feel it too. Which is likely why she had come to check in on him. He had decided to skip dinner, and he was pleased, at the very least, to see that she had brought him an offering in the form of a pumpkin pastie. She approached his bedside and perched on the edge, holding it out for him.

"Thank you," Sebastian said, signing along as he accepted the treat and immediately bit into it. The creamy pumpkin melted on his tastebuds and he felt a brief surge of reprieve from his intense emotions that encroached in swathes. "Sorry I couldn't make it to dinner."

"Mum says you'll feel better tomorrow, and that you were missed," she said in return. Her brown eyes were fixed on his brows, he could tell, as it was rare whenever she could make proper eye contact.

Sebastian gave a halfhearted grin. "Good to know my presence, or, er, lack thereof, was noted." he chuckled lowly as his gaze lowered to where he held the pastie in his palm before splitting it in two and placing one half back in her palm.

The older Wozniak seemed pleased by this and lifted her hand up so she could enjoy a taste. "Do you plan on leaving this room any time soon?" she wondered, a curious glint in her eyes that would not for the life of her match his own. He ruminated on the idea of braving the rest of the Burrow, suffering through small talk with other Order members and watching in agony as Briar and Harrison put on another display of grotesque public affection. The thought made him nauseous, and he suddenly wished he hadn't accepted the pastie.

Do you know, Maze? he signed rather than speak up. Hearing his own voice just then would only worsen his self-esteem, as he could hardly croak out a word without it breaking in his throat. You have to know by now. It feels like everyone does.

Maisie's expression softened and she reached out so she could slip her hand into his'. I'm the only one who knows. she signed back. I promise.

He released an audible sigh of relief. It seemed his paranoia had careened him into a pit of despair he had no reason to be stuck in, after all. It would've made him feel better if the weight of everything else hadn't also been keeping him cemented in pitiless reality. I don't know how much longer I can see her face before I break. I mean it. I've never felt like this before. It's like... It's like she's the other half of me. You're my soulmate and all, but Briar... Briar is... I don't think you'd understand.

Why? Because I'm so undesirable? Maisie signed playfully, a grin creasing on the corner of her mouth. Sebastian rolled his eyes and gave her a gentle shove. Try me. she challenged.

Sebastian pulled in a breath as he gathered his thoughts, stewing on his words before he began rambling and likely confusing his poor sister. She's the only thing I've ever wanted. Nothing else compares, you know? I saw her for the first time when we were eleven and I could see our whole lives together. he signed. I would see her everyday for years and wish I knew how to tell her that I loved her. Everyday. And then Harry came in and... and I think I realized I was never going to be it for her. But who else will I fit with? I feel so misshapen now. And I can't even talk to her about it like I want to, because she's happy. She's happy and that's all I should want, but... but...

"But you need to pluck up some courage," Maisie finally spoke up, catching Sebastian off guard. He furrowed his brows at her in frustration. "I mean it. The only reason she isn't with you now is because Harry beat you to it. If you told her the truth—"

"I would be ruining everything," Sebastian insisted. "Not everything works out like it has with mum and dad."

Maisie narrowed her golden hues at him, which made him retreat slightly. "Mum and dad never loved anyone else. Who's to say she doesn't love you and is settling?" she mused. "You'll never know unless you speak up. Even if it ruins everything. Even if it burns your life to the ground, you have to say it. It'll kill you otherwise."

"It's not that simple, Maze," he said.

"Why not?" she asked. "If you think she belongs with you, you'd be doing her and Harry a favor."

The younger Wozniak pressed his lips into a thin line, eyes drifting away so he could think without interruption. His heart beat sped up and he could feel thrushes of adrenaline pulsating from his gut. What if he were to speak up? In front of Merlin and everyone? Profess his love and promise Briar the life she deserved, no longer as a cursed Jensen, but as a Wozniak, if she would have him? Maybe he had been reading all the signs wrong, or looking at them through rose-colored glasses. A million little things could derail his relationship with her, with his family, forever. He couldn't help but think of his older brother as well. Harrison did mean well. He was good-natured and kind, if a bit cocksure and annoying when he felt it suited the situation, which was almost always. Sebastian knew that Harrison could take care of Briar just as well as he could've, but Merlin could they not have been more different. They said opposites attract, however he couldn't not see the clear discordance in their relationship; Harrison didn't speak up for her, he spoke up as her, he was her voice, while Sebastian had (for the most part) allowed her to live out her dreams of someday settling down as a muggle and forgetting about the terror that had become of the wizarding world. He even humored the idea of joining her in that pursuit — he didn't need Quidditch, not as much as he needed her, and if it meant they would be together he would've accepted any boring nine-to-five muggle job any day. Harrison would never be caught dead without his wand. Without magic. Without the impulse to insert himself into ever situation he could manage.

"... Sebby?" Maisie spoke up gently. For once, she didn't feel the need to overcompensate by raising her voice. Maybe because she could gauge that it wasn't the right time. They were enclosed, alone, and had nothing but secrets to share.

"Have you ever been in love?" Sebastian asked her. He couldn't help it. He figured he would've known by then if his sister had found love; his other sisters had made it paramount that they show off their boyfriend of the month whenever they secured another relationship. However he also knew that Maisie could be secretive when she so chose to be. And as he witnessed her shoulders unwind and her posture melt he had been given an answer. "When?"

Maisie completely averted her gaze, preoccupying herself with her hands. Now she was the one too embarrassed to speak. Not so long ago. she signed.

"... With who?" he wondered while signing. He never would've figured that she actually would allow herself that kind of affection in life, considering how squirrely she was concerning her family and friends touching her. She remained silent, her hands planted firmly in her lap, and he scooted up more. "Maisie."

If I tell you, you have to take my advice, she tried bargaining. Tell Briar everything you feel about her. Tonight, at the sleepover. It doesn't have to be in front of everyone but you should do it. I hate to see you hurting.

Sebastian swallowed dryly at the offer presented unto him. Did he really care that deeply about his sister's love life? Of course he did. He needed to be certain she'd found a person who truly deserved her and all she had to offer.

"Okay," he agreed. "I'll tell her. Now you tell me."

Maisie inhaled steeply as she lifted her hand up and signed four letters: N-O-A-H.

"Who's Noah?" Sebastian asked, chuckling as he found it rather anticlimactic before it hit him. He stared at her unblinkingly for a while, which startled her, and she quickly shoved him so that he'd say or do something other than ogle. "Holy shit. Lockwood? We — we played Quidditch together! He's here!"

She gave him a side-eye. I know. she signed curtly.

"Well, does he know?" he then inquired. It felt good not to focus on his own relationship trials for a few minutes, even if it meant embarrassing Maisie as her cheeks burned red. She shrugged in response, trying to deflect the question before he pressed further. "Now you have to tell him. If we're spilling our guts."

Maisie immediately shook her head insistently. I'm not telling him that. He's too... He's too cool for that. I'm stupid for letting it happen.

Sebastian's lips quirked downward and he reached out so he could place a hand on her shoulder. "It's not something you can control," he soothed. "Trust me. If I could love anyone else, I—"

You wouldn't. Maisie said. You love her too much to even entertain the idea of somebody else. Don't try and use Jedi mind tricks on me.

"What the fuck's a Jedi?" he asked with a laugh.

Nothing. I can't tell him. We only ever had sex once. He could still think I'm mostly a weirdo like everyone else does. Maisie mentioned offhandedly, not thinking anything of it before she noticed Sebastian's complexion pale. What?

"You had sex with him?" Sebastian echoed, and it seemed loud enough to Maisie to warrant her cupping a hand over his mouth that he ultimately pulled away. "I would beat him up for that if he weren't already in a wheelchair."

You can't beat anyone up, she countered.

Sebastian didn't seem pleased by her remark, but he didn't provide a counter argument as he leaned back against his bedframe and percolated on the scenario, then shivered in disgust. "How does that even work? Does it even work—"

We're talking about you, she shut down at once. And Briar. Not me. I can handle this on my own. And I know you can, too. Mum didn't raise us to be cowards, Seb.

He knew that she was right. Although they had been secretly in hiding their whole lives, it seemed, it was for the greater good, and now that the Order had reassembled he realized how much was actually sacrificed just so they could lead somewhat normal lives. And now that the fate of the world was in their hands, it was up to him on whether or not he wanted to take a firm grip or let it slip through his fingers like everything else so far.

Sebastian leaned forward and pressed a kiss against Maisie's temple. "I know she didn't," he said softly. "... Thank you, Maze. For everything."

She smiled brightly at him and brushed some hair out of his eyes, which she still couldn't meet, but he didn't seem to mind. "You're my little brother. This is what I'm supposed to do." she said. "So, tonight?"

He held his breath, feeling his future flash in front of his eyes before he nodded affirmatively. "Tonight."

[dienamights]

Ex’s and O’s | K.Bakugou

» Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.

» Word count: 6.7K

» Genre: hurt/comfort, Smut MDNI, Prohero!au

» Summary: Its bad enough that you’re spending your ex-boyfriend’s birthday curled up in bed, wearing his merch, drinking away your sorrows, but what’s even worse is having your eardrums pierced by the blaring music upstairs at the party thrown just for him.

» Warning(s):  Smut 18+ MDNI please, hurt/comfort, mentions of alcohol, dubcon since reader is under the influence while getting dicked down, drunk sex, oral sex and fingering (female receiving, we getting fed tonight), one pussy slap lol, manipulation, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy)

» Author’s notes: Hello! aaaah I’m actually pretty excited about posting this fic! First of all, its Bakuhoe’s birthday! and what better way to honor it than to feed you all some good ol angst sprinkled in with some good dickin’ down. Its been years since I’ve written smut and I’m actually really fuckin proud of it, yet real nervous but I hope you enjoy! Secondly, this fic is a part of Bakugous Birthday Bash! I’m so excited to read everyone’s work, thank you everyone for holding this event and allowing my ass participate to create this with you all ♡ be sure to read everyone’s contributions, I know it’ll be more than amazing since everyone worked so hard!

Happy Birthday to our favorite King Explosion Murder♡♡

Lastly, I wanna thank everyone for their support and helping me reach 200 followers already! You guys are the cutest thing ever and I promise I’ll update more frequent the minute I’m out of uni late june fml, thank you @tteokdoroki for giggling with me when i wrote cock for the first time lol

» Masterlist | Requests

Rolling out of bed and flailing onto the floor as a start of your day ensures you that the following 24 hours will ultimately suck ass. Getting up and readying yourself for the day by looking through one of your cardboard boxes for your favorite Dynamight hoodie, the back of your mind keeps nagging you, trying to remind you of something buried deep in your subconsciousness, and you have half a heart to try and remember, because for some odd reason, you feel so fucking weary, as if the few steps from your bed to your bathroom are somehow now endless miles, almost making you breathe out in relief after finally reaching it.

And as you are making your coffee, that odd feeling keeps annoying you again, prodding at your brain to remember something, something. And ultimately, that's when your eyes fall to the counter. You knew this day was coming and you were dreading it for months, so as you look at the calendar on your kitchen counter, you frown, the quote of the day you always love reading so much long forgotten when your eyes fall on the date. 

“You’ve gotta be kiddin' me.” You mumble at the calendar on your counter hatefully with furrowed eyebrows, as if it would either reply or change its date, it doesn’t do either, and your lips curl downwards even further. As in immediate response, you pick up your phone, your coffee pot tossed aside as you dial the number of the only person you could think might help you right now.

“G’morning y/n -” you hear Kendo’s voice through your phone, and you honestly want to sob right then and there, but you hold yourself, barely and speak over her overly cheery voice first thing in the goddamn morning. “It's Kats- Bakugou’s birthday” you whimper at the slip up, being so used to the first name basis you were in with your now ex-boyfriend.

“Yeah, was kinda hoping you would’ve forgotten.” She sighs, tugging at her bangs and pulling back her phone to check the time. “Tell you what, I get off work in an hour, then I’m spending the day with you. I’ll get tequila, I know you love your shots.” 

“Ken, it's like 10 right now..” you can’t help but pout, having alcohol in your system as an escape to help you forget about the entire day still sounding better than the urge to cry and crawl into a hole, even if it's at the start of your day. “Y'know what? Get those gummy worms I like too.” “Bet.” you hang up with a sigh, moving back to the kitchen to sift through your bubble wrapped kitchen utensils, barely forcing yourself to prepare breakfast as to not have your liquor on an empty stomach.

You loathe the fact that you remembered his birthday, always reminded of him no matter how long ago since you’ve last seen him, being the center of the media’s attention for years as the number 6 hero in japan has its perks, well, in his case, but to you? Nothing but trouble and heartache as every channel you flip through plasters his face, whether it be about some big rescue mission he partook in or a new rumor about a potential lover to the explosive hero, followed by him almost attacking a reporter, yelling to them about ‘needing to mind yer goddamn business and keep my fuckin’ name outta your mouths’. Therefore, you opted long ago to stay away from the TV to avoid seeing him, his captivating rubies for eyes, covered by that goddamn mask you like to push up to his forehead, sweeping his bangs away and exposing his sweaty forehead that he bumps against yours as he makes love to you, still in his hero costume, all battered and dusty and so incredibly hot you have to- 

You grip your coffee mug tighter, almost to the point of breaking the handle off of it, placing it rather roughly onto the table before pushing your food away, appetite gone with the thought of whatever paradise you were thinking you were in before now long gone and never coming back, all because of you, of your action, of your mistake.

Kendo walks in with a bright smile on her face, as if her overly cheerful attitude will balance out the void you’re slowly but surely falling in. She shakes the bag of snacks in your face as you blink your eyes back into focus. Dragging your heavy feet across the floor to get to your kitchen to retrieve the shot glasses. Only kissing her cheek in thanks when you snatch away whatever it is she brought with her to lift your mood.

She eyes the boxes by your kitchen, the four placed haphazardly in your living room and the one you're using as a stool while filling your shot glasses, tongue sticking out to try and fill each one to the brim without spilling any on the new coffee table that she failed to notice before is still wrapped in bubble wrap that prevent any damage during the moving process.

“y/n…” you hum in response, a frown falling on your lips as the third glass spills a bit and the liquid pools on the plastic.

“Don't you think that you should’ve probably unpacked a while ago? Hasn't it been, what, five months?” 

“I didn't know you were gonna come here to harass me about my life choices, Kendo”

She flinches away, your tone venomous, almost feeling it as a slap to her face, before leaning in when she sees your eyes start to water.

“If I did, that just means it's true… that just means it happened, and I did the stupidest thing- you know what,” you wipe the few tears that managed to escape away with the sleeve of your sweater, looking down at the shots in front of you. “It, it doesn't matter anymore just- can I just drink and try to forget about how my life has gotten nothing but fucking worse since the day I left him?”

You questioned your worth that one time, that one time all those months ago. Thinking that by doing what you did and leaving, he’d drop everything and run behind you, chase after you and win you back, but he didn't, and as you sit surrounded by the evidence of how much of a failure you find out you are without him, you regret ever questioning it, ever questioning him. Because to you, living in denial was so much better than whatever hell this is.

So all you could think of is to just drown yourself in alcohol until your mind is too numb to think of the possibilities of how you could have avoided this, how you could’ve been a less of shitty person, and stop imagining how your life would be now if you just swallowed all your insecurities and just stayed. Despite the neglect, despite not being prioritized, because in some weird twisted way, those lies held you with warmth that you were never able to find after uncovering the ugly truth you’re living in right now. 

You lay on your living room floor, the alcohol swirling in your system and clouding your vision as you trace imaginary shapes in your ceiling, the voice of Kendo muffled as she rambles on and on about her day, the amount of outlaws she bitch slapped - a term she uses to get a laugh from you - and how she considers herself the unluckiest being in the whole world for having Monoma as a partner of all people, seriously contemplating who she should beat up first between him and the villains.

“Must be nice,” you voice, low and slow, scared of how Kendo would react to what you’re about to say, yet your intoxicated self unable to stop your mouth from uttering the words. “To have a purpose in life, to not be quirkless and lost like us.” your face twists in an ugly scowl at your ceiling, but mostly to yourself for putting a downer on whatever mood your friend is trying so hard to build, proven by the hitch of her breath before she enters your peripheral vision when she leans over you, all upside down and pouty.

“What’re you talki-” the shrill ringtone of her phone breaks you away from each other as she leaps to fetch it and silence the god forsaken thing by answering the call. “Battle Fist here, yes sir, I was partnered up with Phantom Thief for the patrol at area B, n-no sir I wasn’t informed.” Kendo breaths out in irritation, pinching the bridge of her nose as she starts tapping her feet aggressively on the floor, eyes falling onto yours when you look up at her all weary and sad, knowing what she would tell you once she hangs up. “That dumbass is gonna be the end of me I swear.” She crouches down to your level and kisses your forehead, promising to be back in the morning with hangover food, before she leaves and locks the door behind her. 

Now you’re left all alone, back aching from laying on the hardwood floor and eyes watering as you feel your loneliness eating you up inside, the god awful music thumbing loudly in your ears followed by the cheer of people as you-

Music?

You sit up abruptly, groaning at the dizziness of the swift movement as your hands fly to cover your ears, a failed attempt of ensuring your brain doesn’t begin to spill out from them, because of the loud voices, the bass shaking your entire fucking apartment by how strong it is, and you curse yourself for falling for the scheme the landlord pulled you in, paying half of the rent everyone did, just because you lived right below the penthouse that hosted the loudest parties in the area, 4 days out of the fucking week. 

The money hungry shameless bastard praised the apartment the minute it spiked your interest all those months ago, selling it so well you actually moved in the next week, anything to stop feeling like a burden to Kendo as you couch-surfed her apartment. Only to realize within that first week from your downstairs neighbors that he rents the penthouse to host parties of all sorts, and due to its location in the city, it was pretty popular, yet you didn’t have the money to move out again, nor the heart to concern your friend with your problems, as she was a hero with other responsibilities aside from taking care of your hopeless self.

So you get up, barely gathering yourself onto that elevator to tell off whoever the fuck will answer the door first to turn the music down. You pound the door with your fist repeatedly the minute you reach it, the door opening so suddenly you almost punch the man standing in front of you in the chest, the cool air created from the door cooling your warm cheeks as you squint at your victim for the day.

“Welcome!”

“Listen here, you buttfaced moron” you start to chew the person’s ear out, your sight blurring yet still able to notice how bright his hair is, how fiery and familiar it looks, and you’re certain you’ve seen it somewhere before. “I’m trying to drink away my regrettable life choices and cry over my ex-boyfriend, so if you would just turn down the-”

“y/n?” oh, that’s where. Your stomach drops as Kirishima looks down on you, the bright smile he flashed to whoever he was welcoming now dropped with his eyes almost bulging out at your presence, you both stand in silence, the boy unbuttoning the collar that suddenly feels like it has a chokehold on him while you cross your arms and hope the floor would swallow you a floor down back into the comfort of your home.

Kirishima basically is shutting down the second his eyes lay on you, breaking a sweat as your eyes never waver, despite how you fail to stay standing straight, what was he supposed to say? ‘Hey we’re throwing a birthday party for your ex-boyfriend because he's been feeling depressed from the day you dumped his ass’ ? No!  He wouldn’t do that to his friend, but what was he gonna say now?

Well, he didn’t have to really think about what to say to you, because his other friend didn’t hesitate to push him forward, slurring something along the lines of ‘lettin the hot ladies in so they can take a look at the prettier blond, aka moi’. In his moment of panic, the redhead stumbles forward, his cup slipping from the tips of his fingers and meeting its doom by the floor, whatever was filling it now staining your pants as you both look at the mess between you.

“Woah bro, we said you gotta get’er wet but not- '' Denki's cackle stops him from continuing whatever filth he was gonna spew out - thankfully - before his eyes drop down to your chest, or more like what was covering it. “Hey! You a Dynamight fan? Hey Bakuhoe, comere for a sec.” 

Dear God, move, for the love of all that's pure in this god forsaken world, move! Run!

All you could do is shake and breathe in short segments as your widened eyes meet his unamused ones, the garnets in his eyes glistening at your sight, he stands straight and so tall, suited up in his usual attire. Dressed for the occasion, words aren't able to describe his beauty. You try not to let your brain be dazzled by how incredibly handsome he looks. He is wearing a dress shirt, in the deep color of wine that complements his eyes, dress pants hugging his long legs, not to mention the open collar, and no tie. He looks like a long, lean Lothario. 

At that your eyes drop down to the floor, specifically the now stained carpet, your hands wrenching the end of your hoodie to distract yourself from the piercing rubies that haunts your dreams.

You build up some courage, enough of it to lift your head to continue what you came here to do, so you open your mouth, and drop a few IQs while you’re at it. “The m-music is loud and m’tryin’ to sleep,'' you mumble, noting how Kirishima leans down to make up the words you are saying over the sound of the blaring music while Bakugou narrows his eyes at you as if disregarding his sight will make him hear you better. “So, if you could turn down the heat, that’d be,” 

“You squiffed?” The blond grunts, leaning his face close to yours to inspect it, and he catches a whiff of alcohol in your breath, his eyebrows furrowing at your response. “No I'm not squinting-” 

“Yeah you’re drunk alright,” he huffs at your less than intelligent reply, pushing his glass of whiskey - you figure since it's always been his drink of choice - against Kirishima’s chest, telling him to lower the fucking volume and grabs you by your bicep. “C’mon, I’ll take you home.” you stumble at the force used against you, no matter how weak it actually is, before you barely straighten yourself to push his hand away. “I can walk down all by myself, thank you.” Of course you’d expose where you live, you dumbass.

He doesn’t question your integrity, just continues to basically drag you to the elevator before pushing your apartment door open when you choose your floor, irked to find your misplaced trust in the people of the complex by not locking your door after leaving. He barges into your bedroom and tells you to change out of your fucked up pants and proceeds to saunter to your kitchen to get you water, eyeing the boxes that he comes across during that small trip.

He stands awkwardly by the door when he sees you standing in the middle of the bedroom, sifting through countless moving boxes with your pants on the floor, thrown next to a pile of clothes that he can only assume that its supposed to be your laundry ‘basket’, until you opt against wearing any since you can't seem to find anything to replace them. And when he asks you if you just moved in, his expression sours when you shake your head no and explain to him that you’ve been living for months in this space, after chugging that cup of water like you’ve been parched for days.

“Birthday party?” You ask out of the blue as you play with the strings of your hoodie, your ears perking up at the confirmation hum you receive. “Hmm, thas’cool… I-I guess.” 

Bakugou’s impassive as he gently pushes you onto your bed, eyes meeting yours as he covers you up with your blanket. “Get some rest, I’m leaving.” He said, slowly stalking away from you and barely reaching your door as your big mouth talks on its own. Your body sitting up and facing his retreating back.

“That's what you always do, you always leave”, you utter and you see him stiffen his shoulders before he spins to face you, so fast you almost want to check up on him about getting a whiplash.

“Hah?” it's one syllable, but it shakes your very core, that one sound making you almost shake, overwhelmed by the amount of emotions, the amount of pain that one sound has. He steps closer to your bed, the stomps of his feet sounding like gun shots in your ear, and you pathetically lift up the blanket to cover yourself up, cowering behind it like it's some pseudo shield that might protect you from him.

“I’m the one that leaves?” he growls at you, his eyes sizing you up when you react to his forceful approach, leaning back to look down on you, but his lips are still curled in a frown, he tries to hold himself from blowing up at you, his feelings oddly enough still raw in his chest the moment he lay eyes on you the first time since you left, threw him away and walked away, probably finding someone better, probably finding someone who you tolerated, unlike himself, but when he sees you straighten up your back to rebuttal him, an automatic response to whenever he raised his voice at you from all those years ago, he knows he is in for a fight. 

He snarls when you nod at him, your eyes hard and glaring up at him, not knowing that your silence is by your better judgement since you don't trust your voice, knowing it’ll fail you, probably crack and show him how much he actually is affecting you by his closed off posture and demeaning look down at your frame.

“Real fuckin’ rich of ya, y/n.” He snaps back, his hands brought up to his hair, tugging at it. “As if you didn’t pack your shit,” he kicks at yet another cardboard box fucking spewed in your room, noting its heavy weight when it didn't move but an inch by his action. “Dropped your keys by the fuckin’ door,” as an emphasis, he throws your apartment key at you, making sure it doesn’t actually hit you, but falls onto your lap. “And left. Without a single fuckin’ word, like I'm some lowlife who didn't deserve an explanation, like I didn't deserve anything! And-” that hurt, goddamn it. 

Exhaling deeply, he focuses on how your eyes look a little less glossed over, a little more sober, but holding fear, and he almost steps back and out when he looks at how you’re fighting tears, almost wanting to bust his own kneecaps than to see you like this, always wanting nothing for you but to be happy, to never upset about anything no matter how small it might be.

Then why did you leave him? Left him to drown by his lonesome self, waves of his insecurities and sorrow crashing into him, pulling him even further down to his inevitable doom.

Despite the fact that you both yearn for each other, long to feel one another, engulf yourselves in the others presence. You both stand your ground, eyes glaring despite the emotions hidden behind them, mouths shut and curled into ugly scowls regardless of the words you wish to speak to each other, whispers of promises into each other's ears about being together forever, in spite of not knowing what the future holds.

Bakugou breathes out again, recalling all those months worth of coping mechanisms to exercise when placed in anger inducing situations like this one, the time in therapy spent to better himself, to control himself, to be the best version of himself, for you, hoping that one day you’ll pity him enough to want to come back, knowing full well he would never hold a grudge against you and welcome you back with open arms, intending to never repeat whatever it is he did that made you think of him as so unbearable you couldn't spent another day with him.

You on the other hand, are barely holding in the tears, wanting him to just leave your sight, so you can go back to the world of denial where he didn't look like straight out of a magazine, looking as captivating as always, as if your absence did not have an effect on the hero, of course it wouldn't, why would a quirkless extra have an effect on the great Katsuki Bakugou, that's what he used to call them, right?

“Just leave, Bakugou-” his ears pick up the way your voice breaks at his name, the way you utter it sounds so horrendous, because you aren’t meant to call him Bakugou, you’re meant to call him Katsuki, Katsu, Suki, your Suki. Not- “I hate you.”

The room suddenly spirals. The floor panels misalign themselves into zigzags. Bakugo’s eyes shatter like a glass window. He tries to hold himself against the tears that threaten to fall, stomach wrenching as if reaching from inside of his body, but it’s useless. He brings his hand up close to his chest and sinks his head, letting the words overtake him.

Oblivious to his internal struggle, you pile whatever courage you have left in another attempt to ask him to leave, aware that your body wouldn’t aid you in pushing him away physically, you open your mouth, only to gasp after a moment of silence when he pounces on you and grabs you by the neck, sliding a hand behind your head and leaning your face impossibly closer to his “you fuckin’ hate me? show me you hate me then,”

Then he's pressing his lips against yours, your half foggy mind all too surprised by the flow of motion you can only try to keep up with his feverish kisses, you try to pull away, to push him away, to no avail, Bakugou only stopping his assault on your lips to growl at them again “Show me then, hah?” 

But he wouldn't even let you, his grasp on your neck loosening to circle around your back to push you to him even more. His kisses get more and more aggressive, trying his best to show you how much he was hurt by what you said, by what you did, after all this time, almost begging you to not let him have to voice out whatever he’s feeling because he would do so much of a worse job than he is doing now.

The hands you placed on his chest in a failed attempt to push him away are now just placed over his pecs, welcoming their warmth and the way they flex under your touch, your right hand clenching over where his thumping heart is, and he almost sighs in relief, the movement feeling like it holds together all the broken pieces of his heart to make it whole again.

Almost like that gesture calmed him down, Bakugou’s rough touches start to soften, very caring as they glide to your hips before sliding underneath your - oh my God it's your special edition Dynamight hoodie! His amused chuckle tickles your lips as he pulls away when he feels you stiffen at the realization, barely letting you breathe in ease until he places his lips against your ear. “Love how m’still the only one sprawled over yer tits.”

“But I still want the real thing, lemme see ‘em, hm?” And just before throwing a dumb retort and embarrasing yourself even further, the article is tugged eagerly off of your body and thrown haphazardly on the floor. Earning yourself a low whistle when he realises you’re wearing nothing underneath. Bakugou all but shoves you onto the bed, spreading your legs when you try to rub them against each other for any friction, wedging his body neatly between them as his teeth gently bite your soft buds, pulling them slightly before captivating the nipple entirely.

His tongue flicks against your hardening nipple while keeping a watchful eye at the sinful expressions your face makes, his one hand toying with and twisting the other nipple while the other slides down to tease your needy cunt, pressing his fingers against your -fucking soaked- panties, swearing under his breath at the feeling of your walls trying to clench around his fingers just from that one movement. Sitting on his haunches, he lifts your hips with ease to pull your panties right off, eyes travelling between your heaving chest and your exposed pussy. Before lowering himself and finding comfort in biting and sucking your nipples again.

Bakugou’s smirk grows with your moans as his tongue dances over your sensitive nipples, he presses his finger against your walls, and you immediately keen at the prodding feeling that almost feels foreign after all this time apart. His thumb pushing your pussy lip to the side to see you suck his finger in like the good girl he knew you always were.

“Ba-ba-ba,” you struggle to talk, your drool collecting at your lips, stopping you from forming any words as you feel a breeze hit your spit covered tits, whining at the feeling and wanting him to pull your nipples in the warm cavern of his mouth again. Bakugou’s eyes focus on the spit line connecting his bottom lip to your nipple before disconnecting it to smash his lips against yours in an effort to shut your blabbering up.

“Ba-ba, what? y’better not be callin’ me Bakugou with my fingers deep in yer pussy baby, its Katsuki for you, yeah?” he taunts with a fake pout that immediately turns into a grin at the way you hold your pathetic sobs, pressing another finger in your tight cunt, reveling in the wet sounds your pussy makes as he thrusts his fingers in and out of it, soaking his fingers in your slick as he curls them, eager to hear the squelching sounds it would make when his cock is shoved deep inside you. “Or better yet, lemme hear you say Suki, hmm?”

“Suki- p-please, eat me out” you throw your head back and bring your hands down to play with your clit, showing him where you want his lips to be, as if the blond doesn't already know where it is, and he scoffs at the thought, slapping your hand away and giving another slap to your clit, earning a moan from you from the sharp pleasurable pain.

“Yea, yea I fuckin’ know already, needy slut,” he growls, keeping eye contact as he circles your clit with his tongue before sloppily eating out your cunt, making a mess of both drool and your arousal, mumbling “my needy slut.” to himself, and you do hear it, yet you brush it off with the thought that your lust must be messing with your brain.

Your chest still flutters at his words and your walls clench in on his fingers as he curls them again in a way you didn’t know would make you yelp like it did. He thrives off of how your body responses so easily to him, your back arching and the squelching getting louder as his fingers pick up speed, his tongue so skillful in drawing circles around your clit before sucking it again. A whine escapes you when he draws his head away from you, only for you to see the way his eyes darkens, his chin glistening from your arousal when it catches the light.

“Let go for me princess,” he whispers uncharacteristically, making you question if the glint in his eyes is from his desire for you or something else. “Lemme see you fall apart for me, alright?” the way he’s almost begging you to come undone for him takes you by surprise, and your body curls in on itself so fast, not realizing your orgasm was creeping up on you until it hits you. The knot in your stomach breaks as you gush around his fingers, white crossing your vision as he slows his pace to help you come down from your high. 

Your shuddering body lays on your bed, eyes unwavering as they meet Katsuki’s, his fingers stuffed in his mouth as he moans around them at your taste. It's all a blur after seeing that unravel, and you’re so woozy that you don’t register him discarding his clothes until he lays above you. Placing himself between your legs as he pumps his cock, hardened from seeing you fall apart on his tongue and fingers, his tip leaking precum and burning a bright red.

His movement is almost too quick for you as he dips his head into your leaking hole before pulling right back, a breathless chuckle escaping him when you whine and roll your hips and try to suck him in again, wanting to feel the stretch of him inside of you.

“Didja wanna say somethin’ princess?” he taunts you, one of his hands holding you down by your stomach while the other is wrapped around his length, teasing you in the ways that he knows drive you crazy, he leans in, using the tip of his cock to spread your pussy lips open and running it along your slit to coat it with your arousal.

“Katshu, p-please I-” you hiccup, your fists tightening on your bed sheet as you try to rock your hips up get more than just his leaking tip, but your begging is always interrupted when he isn't hearing what he wants you to say.

“Say you love me.”

You freeze at his demand, your widening eyes looking up at him before you pout your lips, not thinking about surrendering to him, no matter how much you want your cunt stuffed full of him right now.

“I don’love yooou-” you gasp as katsuki’s grip onto your waist tightens and you feel as he gives a thrust into your sopping cunt, arching your back at the burning stretch of being filled up by his thick cock. Katsuki’s hand traces down your left thigh before cupping behind your knee, hiking your leg up and out, close to your chest to expose more of yourself to him, wanting nothing more than to see his dick seething in and out of your tight pretty pussy, and by almost muscle memory, you did the same thing with your right leg, replacing his hands with your own, presenting yourself to him.

“Y’see that? Fuckin’ know you like the back of m’hand, y’think someones gonna- ah, take the fucking time to work you like I did?” he's right, absolutely right, he ruined you for any other potential lovers and he loved it with every fiber in his being, knowing this means you’re always going to be wrapped around his finger. You moan as he pushes more of himself into you, bottoming out and holding one of your tits and squeezing when he feels your walls do the same to his cock.

You hate it, after all this time, you’re still a blubbering mess the second he was one fucking inch deep in your pussy, sucking him in and clawing at his back begging for more. No self respect, no dignity, you hate it, how come after all this time he gets to come here and fuck you like you belong to him, like you’ve belonged to him despite everything that has happened.

You only realize that your eyes are closed when Katsuki’s breath hits your face, and you open them wide, noting how wet your lashes have gotten from your tears, only for him to kiss at the tears gliding along your right temple and licking the ones on your left. He breathes out a chuckle and when he leans to look at your eyes, the humor and menace you expect to see in his eyes are nowhere to be found, clouded by a solemn look instead.

“What? Yer cryin on me now, huh? Y’think a few tears are stoppin’ me?” His voice is masked so well, because he sounds like he was simply enjoying a game, like an imp that had branched from a demon. “C’mon, not gonna tell the birthday boy you love’em?”

“I don't love you, I hate you, h-hate you-” you keen as drool pools at your lips, your body betraying you as it shakes from pleasure, letting go of your legs to wrap them around his slim waist, to bring him in closer, if that was even possible, stopping his deep thrusts that were brushing up against your cervix, it feels pathetic, denying him the pleasure of telling him you love him while clinging onto him like he's your last breath of fresh air, because in a way, you feel like he is, like him leaving would just collapse your lungs and stop your heart from beating, you know that he’s gonna leave you. While your spent body would lay on your bed and you'd cry because you didn't tell him you love him, yet you wouldn’t ask him to stay, knowing deep down that you don't deserve it, you don't deserve him.

You feel his weight on top of you as he rests his elbows by your head, his lips brushing against your ear as he repeats again with every shallow thrust into your warm insides, his cock twitching from time to time in your walls. “You love me.” he says it once, twice, thrice. Every time his voice lowers more and more to a broken whisper, almost a plea instead of the cocky taunt he started off with.

Your legs are starting to ache from the grip they have around him, so you loosen up, your mind easy since his thrusts haven’t been rough nor painful. And when you do, you notice two things immediately, first, your thighs are so soaked from how he's making you feel, probably ruining your bedsheet at this point, second, he pushed his chest away from yours to look you directly in the eyes, one hand molding around your thigh to keep it from wrapping around him again while the other is placed on your stomach, his thumb inching closer and closer to your clit, wanting to toy with it, toy with you, but not ready to give you any satisfaction until you admit to him, please just tell him, that you do still love him. All insecurities, all battle scars, all emotional constipation as layers he covers himself with, that no one gives a fuck to peel off, to see who he really was, except you.

His red eyes lock onto yours as your chest heaves with breathless sobs at the lost of his warmth, and when you think he's lowering himself back down, he pulls out suddenly, sending a  shiver down your spine as you gasp, now feeling like you're frozen over, your tears coming from lack of both pleasure and warmth.

Suddenly your face is met with the pillow and you feel his hands on your hips as he lifts them up and off the bed, your half intoxicated, half aroused mind barely registering that you’ve been flipped over on your stomach until you feel his cock prodding at your cunt, easily sliding in like they’ve been made to be warmed up in there, when you know Katsuki would argue that your pussy was made just for him and to warm his dick.

He presses his chest against your back, pushing you onto the bed as he thrusts his hips roughly, pulling out fully before seething himself right back in, your moans and whimpers muffled by your pillow from being pushed down by his hand as his other holds your hips firmly. 

Then what happened next probably shocked him more than you, despite how delirious you’ve become due to his relentless thrusting, his dripping tears feel cool on your bare warm shoulder, one by one as his groans and moans turn into strangled sobs, before Katsuki digs his teeth into that shoulder, to both hear you scream and to muffle his cries from you. 

“because I love you” he sobs, detaching his teeth from their grip and kissing the bite marks before resting his forehead against it, but his thrusts never cease, getting sloppier, as if the confession is pushing him off the edge. Dragging the tip of his nose from your bitten and bleeding shoulder to the back of your ear, his own face flush and warm against you as he breathes harshly against your ear and kisses along it.

“So-” he moans again, the hand behind your neck now turning your face so he could see your fucked out expression, the tears streaming down your face and the drool that pools under your cheeks, with your tongue lolled out and your eyes barely focusing on his form.

“You better say you do too, becau-”

“I love you.” you gush, like saying it is a breath of fresh air, your eyes never leaving his teary ones, your gaze so intense and fixated on him with no regards to the way the snapping of his hips against yours is shaking your entire body against the bed. 

With new found vigor from your confession, Katsuki grabs onto the meat of your ass, hammering into you from behind with force that pushes you against the bed even further, your pulled hair jerking your head back so he can listen to the lewd noises you are making, long forgotten the will to cover your pleasure and hiding your moans.

Your ass heavily slaps against his thighs as he grabs your hips with both hands and pounds into your sopping wet cunt, relishing in the way you’re begging for him. “Y’like it when I fuck you baby, hmm? Like it when I stuff you so fuckin’ full of me?” He growls, feeling you push your ass back every time you repeat ‘yes’ to his questions. “Yes, yes love it, love you, please please don’t stop, please ‘Suki. Yes, gonna cum ‘Suki please” you weep, your head pounding from the grip he had on your hair and your eyes crossing as you feel his thrusts stutter, getting sloppier when you bounce your ass against him, his hand coming down and slapping it.

“That's fuckin’ right, cum on this cock, c’mon baby” he brings four of his fingers to rub your clit with urgency, and you can’t help but arch your back as your orgasm hits you again, screeching as you feel your walls tightening on him, squeezing him for what he’s worth. “F-fuck ah, y-you’re so- Fuck” his heavy weight falls on you as he fills you to the brim with his milky seed, forehead pressed against your shoulder as he rocks his hips against you, pushing more of his load inside before slowly pulling out, gaze flutters down to where your bodies were once joined, seeing your mixed arousal seeping out of your hole and he has half a mind to push it back in with his fingers.

But he flips you over effortlessly, the sight of your crossed out eyes and wet cheeks squeezing his chest at the realization he might’ve been too rough on you, so he wipes your cheek with the palm of his hands and revels in the way you lean towards him, turning your face to kiss his palm. “Say it again.” barely a whisper, as you flip his hand and kiss the back of it as well, and he almost repeats himself, thinking you didn’t hear him, but your hands reach up and cup his face, bringing him towards you. “I love you Katsuki” and goddamn if that wasn’t the most beautiful thing you’ve ever spoken. “Again,” “I love you, Katsuki” “Again,” you giggle, and he knows that's probably what angels sound like.

Your thumb brushes over his warm cheeks, red from showing vulnerability, and you pull him even closer, “Happy birthday, ‘Suki.”

“Yea,” He breaths out, his lips barely brushing against your bitten and bruised ones. “It really fuckin’ is.”

aaaaaaaaah! Hope you enjoyed it! Lemme know what you think of the smut, I also changed my writing style from past tenses to present tenses or tried to at least

Borrowers (taglist):

if you want to be tagged with for any of my fics let me know ♡

[harleysarchive]

To Confess Your Love | Charles Leclerc

Fandom: Formula one Warning: Angsty and FLUFFY my god. Not as long as the first one, 3500 words. Pairing: Charles Leclerc x f!reader  Summary: After the dinner party you and Charles haven’t spoken and you just keeping longing for each other. 

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A/N: Part two of To Fall in Love, and thanks again to Screnwriter for the inspiration, enjoy! 

It has been almost a week since the dinner party and you were at the airport waiting for your flight to Portugal. You and Charles haven’t spoken since that evening and you almost wondered if it was just a fling or a one time event that nothing would come from. You frowned slightly when the thought passed by in your mind, but were interrupted by a voice behind you. Lando came down running the aisle with his packback almost sliding down his shoulders.

“Hey (Y/N)!”

“Hey Lando. How have you been? Ready for Portugal?”

“More than ready, I’m so excited. How are you?”

“I’m good.” you said, more like trying to convince yourself that you were.

“Really?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“How about your crush-...” 

Lando didn’t have time to finish the sentence before your hand flew up on his mouth to hush him done.

“Not that loud, you dork.” you whispered loudly at him and he just grinned. “But nothing really, I haven’t heard from him since the dinner. But he is probably busy and I have been busy as well.” 

You tried to hide the heartbreak in your voice, but Lando sensed it and put an arm around, squeezing your shoulders lightly.

“Well, if he hurts you I will take care of him.” 

“Thank you.” you smiled at him. The speaker's voice told you that it was time to board the plane, which made the crowd move slowly forward. Lando waved at George and he soon joined you in the line. You and Lando had your seats next to each other and George was just one the other side of the aisle. He took out his phone to snap a picture of the three of you. Lando hugged you and you gave off an excited smile. George wrote the caption:

Ready to take off to Portugal!! 

Instagram went crazy over the picture and the comments were very kind towards you and some were speculating if you and Lando were dating. 

The plane ride to Portugal went by fast, you had a great time with George and Lando. You listen to some music, which spotify almost exclusively recommended sappy love songs to make your heart even heavier. You watched a movie and then it was time to land. Portugal was quite warm and you put on your sunglasses when you left the airport. A taxi was waiting for the McLaren drivers and you waved off George as he joined the Williams team. 

“So how are you going to deal with, you know…”

“With Charles?” you asked and he nodded. You hadn’t realized how close he was going to be to you now and, frankly, you were a nervous wreck thinking about him.

“I will try my best to ignore him, besides, I’m with the McLaren team. So, it’s not like he’s gonna waltz into our building any time soon.” you joked, but your heart hoped otherwise. 

The taxi pulled up by the racing tracks and you were to walk with Lando around the track to get him ready for tomorrow's practice round. Daniel had texted you that he was on his way, but his plane was a bit late. Your heart jumped a bit when you passed the Ferrari building, but you tried your best not to think about it. You were here to work, not to go after the stupid crush you had on Charles Leclerc. But your heart didn’t want to listen, it wanted him to notice you, it wanted to have that moment from the dinner. The hand touches, staring into those gorgeous hazel eyes. His warm hand on your lower back guiding you, and his hand stroking your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. Almost kissing him. 

Please don’t let it be a dream that has to die, you begged. Please don’t let this be all that comes out of this. 

An arm snaked around your shoulders, which brought you back from your ruminating thoughts of your current heartache. 

“You look sad, something happened?” Daniel asked. 

“Oh, no. It’s nothing.”

“Hey, I know you well enough to know that you are lying. What has happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Come on, (Y/N)-...”

“No, I mean nothing. He hasn’t talked to me since the dinner party.” you said and put your hands against your face. 

Daniel looked at you with a confused look, then he realized you were talking about Charles.

“Have you tried to talk to him?”

“NO.” your eyes widened and head flew up to look at him.

“Whoa, there is nothing wrong with being the first one to reach out, you know.”

“But I don’t want to annoy him.”

“And what if he feels the same about contacting you?” 

It pained Daniel a bit to help you with your crush on Charles, but it pained him even more to see you so sad over it. And from what he saw at the dinner party, the two of you really liked each other and he couldn’t deny you that happiness. I liked you and would always be protective of you, but he wanted you to be happy. Even if it meant dating a rival. He was about to leave you with your thoughts.

“Oh, and if the two of you start dating, don’t you dare leave me and Lando for Ferrari. You will stay with us.” 

You smiled at his silly remark. You gave him a hug before he left and reassured him that you weren’t going anywhere. You rose from the chair to get Lando for your round around the track. As you walked out from the McLaren building you saw people coming from the Ferrari building, Carlos was one of them with his manager. The same was for the AlphaTauri building and you could see Pierre in the crowd. He noticed you and waved at you. You smiled and waved back, but your smile suddenly turned to confusion when you saw that he was walking towards you.

“Hey, (Y/N) right?” 

“Yes, it is. How are you doing Pierre?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“I’m good too, I was on my way to walk the track with Lando.”

It felt like Pierre wanted to talk to you about something but changed his mind.

“Well, I’m off too. I see you around.”

“Okay. See ya.” you said confused as Pierre walked away from you. 

Odd, you thought but started to walk towards Lando’s room. But when you turned around your whole body froze. Standing by the Ferrari building stood Charles, talking to one of his managers. You hated how your body reacted over seeing him again, that you couldn’t act normal. Like nothing had happened. But it had and you had played the scenes back in your head like a broken record. You had danced to every love song that you could find and felt like you could conquer the world. You had felt the butterflies late into the night, making it hard to sleep.

But now. Seeing him again made you lose all your confidence and your heartache felt even worse than before. You almost prayed that he didn’t notice you so you could sneak away, but deep down you hoped, wished, that he would see you. Notice you. To give you the same attention he had last week. But he and his team had walked the opposite way and he hadn’t looked in your direction once.

But he knew that you were there, he had seen Pierre talking to you, but he didn’t dare to go up to you. But oh, he wanted to.So bad that his body was aching for it and screaming at him to move. But he didn’t. So, instead of acting on his feelings, he avoided you, thinking it would be easier. Pierre had left you because he thought that Charles would come up to you himself and confess his love to you, but he almost got angry by the fact that he didn’t. Why did he leave you there? 

Charles continued to focus on the race and tried his best to ignore his speeding heart every time he passed the McLaren building. Pierre on the other and would not let this go. He hurried up to Charles and stopped him in his tracks.

“What are you doing?”

“Focusing on the race, why?” 

“Oh really, not ignoring a certain someone?” Pierre asked and Charles could hear the annoyance in his voice. And he hated that Pierre was right.

“No, why?” he lied. 

“Really? So, you looking at (Y/N) with those puppy eyes was nothing.”

Charles swallowed hard and tried to look unbothered by Pierre’s remark but his red cheeks and ears betrayed him. 

“Why don’t you act on it, mon ami?”

Pierre had to leave him because he had to walk the track as well. Charles let out a sigh, he knew Pierre was right. He did want to act on his feelings, but he was afraid. The what if’s haunted him, making him nervous, which was unusual for him.  

The track walking had gone well for Lando. He was super focused and it felt like he was going to do a fantastic race here as well. You walked back to the McLaren building, making yourself ready to take Daniel on his round. You looked out the window to see Charles discussing something with Carlos. 

Fuck, you thought, as you had to walk past them to get to Daniel, so you mustered up all the confidence that you could find within yourself and went out. Charles had his back against you so Carlos would be the first to notice you.

“Hello.” you smiled at Carlos as you got closer to them.

“Hello.” he greeted you politely. Charles turned around when he heard your voice.

“Hey.” Charles said, but you didn’t dare to look at him for too long. You could feel your cheeks become flustered just by greeting him. Him on the other hand had his eyes on you the whole time as you walked away. Carlos followed his gaze to see what had gotten his attention.

“Do you know her?”

“Wha-... Who?” Charles said, trying his best to disguise his flustered state. Carlos just laughed at him and patted him on the back. 

You walked up to Daniel. 

“Ready to walk the track?”

“Sure thing.” he said and snaked an arm around your shoulders. You smiled at him and the two of you started walking towards the track. Daniel saw that Charles was looking at you and Daniel brought you closer to him, trying to protect you from his gaze. Charles' expression soured by Daniel’s action, but this made him determined to do something about his feelings. He was not going to let you go.

The walk with Daniel was different from Lando’s. Daniel was more relaxed but nonetheless as focused as Lando. You took notes and asked him different questions, standard procedure. 

“I think that’s it.” you said. 

“Great! It’s soon time for dinner, are you coming?”

“Not yet, I’m going to take a walk before dinner.” you said. You felt the need to be alone for a moment. Daniel nodded and hugged you from the side before he took off. You walked back to the McLaren building and took your bag. The weather was nice and your mind needed to be alone for a while. You got out of the building, stealing a glance at the Ferrari building, which made your heart feel heavy. But you couldn’t dwell on it too much, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. 

Comotion was heard from the Ferrari building, drawing your attention towards the crowd that exited. Charles was in the crowd with his sunglasses. But you couldn’t stop staring at him and how good he looked in that red shirt. As if he felt that someone was looking at him, his head turned towards you and you quickly focused on the ground.

His eyes were still on you and he took off his sunglasses to get a better look at you. You looked up again and met his eyes. Electricity sparkled inside your body when you met his hazel eyes, you almost felt hypnotised by him and felt how your body wanted to go to him. It was drawn to him, like a magnet. He smiled at you, making his damn dimples visible again. You almost couldn’t take it, your heart almost couldn’t take it. But you smiled back. Charles broke off the gaze when someone called for him and you woke up from your trance. You tightened your grip around your bag and started to walk towards the exit. 

Charles saw how you were leaving.

It’s now or never, he thought and tried to catch up with you. You felt a presence behind you and to your surprise - and delight - it was Charles. 

“Hey.” he said.

“Hello.” you greeted him. His eyes locked with yours again and he completely forgot what he was going to do. His mind became completely blank and all he could focus on was you. You were the only one he wanted to focus on. His body wanted to get closer, his hands wanted to touch you and he could feel his eyes flicker between your eyes and your lips. His hazel eyes drew you in and you could see all the emotions that were fighting inside of him. 

“How did your track walk go?” you asked. His mind woke up from the sound of your voice.

“It went well, I think I’m ready for tomorrow's practice round.”

“I like the sound of it.” you smirked. He let out a sigh. 

“Are you going somewhere?” 

“Yeah I needed some air and to see something else than the tracks.”

“Well I know a few places, if you want me to join you?” his eyes looked at you hopefully but they also showed a bit of worry. Worry of rejection. Worry that you were mad at him for being such a coward towards you. 

“I would love to.” you beamed. He held out his arm for you. You linked it with his, feeling the electricity spark again when you touched him. 

“Can we stop by the hotel so I can get changed?” you asked. 

“Of course.” 

He had his Ferrari parked nearby and opened the door for you. You thanked him, before he started the car and you drove towards the hotel. The two of you talked about how he felt about the practice round tomorrow and how he was feeling for the race on sunday. He had a steady grip on the steering wheel, but he wanted to lay one hand on top of your knee, but he didn’t dare to. He didn’t know how you were feeling. Finally at the hotel, you said that you would meet at the lobby in 30 minutes. You rushed to your room as fast as the elevator would let you and tried to find something that fitted for your date… Wait, was this a date? 

You couldn’t dwell too much on the idea, but it was still in the back of your head when you walked towards the elevator. Charles was already in the lobby when you exited the elevator.

“Ready to go?” he asked. 

“Absolutely.” you said and he held out his arm for you to take. He guided you to his Ferrari and opened the door for you. You thanked him and he drove you around the area, talking about everything and nothing. You laughed and his jokes and shrieked when he sped up with his car. He gave you a smug smile over how excited you were. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked when he pulled up his car in the small city. 

“Starving.” 

“Good, cause I know a place.” 

The two of you got out of the car and he guided you down the road to a restaurant that looked adorable.

“They have delicious food.” 

“Sounds perfect.” 

The waiter showed you a table that looked over the town. It was beautiful and you looked over at Charles. He was wearing his sunglasses so you couldn’t quite see what he was looking at. But his eyes were on you, admiring how you looked at everything with such awe and wonder. Like everything fascinated you to some degree and he liked that. Something distracted you, making you turn your head away from Charles. He took this as an opportunity to move closer to you. He put his arm on the backrest of your chair and when you turned your attention back to him, you noticed that he was closer. He had his hand on the table and your mind was thinking. This is exactly like the dinner last week… But you didn’t put your hand over his this time. The waiter came back with your drinks and took your orders for dinner. Charles then turned his attention back to you, contemplating if he should touch your shoulder like he had done on the dinner. Then a pang of guilt washed over him when he remembered the dinner. 

“You look beautiful, (Y/N).”

His comment made you jump in surprise and you turned towards him, but you could also feel how you got flustered over it.

“Thank you, so do you. But you always do.” you said with a smirk on your face. Knowing that you said the exact same thing last week and he remembered. He had had that sentence in his head ever since that evening. That you thought he looked good. He cleared his throat.

“Listen, I need to tell you something.”

You wanted to play cool, but that phrase just made your body react in a fight-or-flight mode.

“Yes?”

“About the dinner… I was… I was going too... '' Charles stuttered, feeling his whole face turning flustered. He was probably a deep crimson color at the moment.

“You don’t have to-...” you tried to interrupt but your tongue got stuck when you felt his hand on top of your knee.

“I really wanted to talk to you after that dinner, but...”

“But?”

“But I was afraid.”

“Afraid?” you said dumbfounded. “Of what?”

“That you would reject me.”

Your heart melted over his words. How could this even be real? How could he, Charles Leclerc, be afraid of you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N), rejecting him?

“Why would I ever reject you?” you whispered. He took off his sunglasses to get a better look at you. He wanted to be sure that you were honest with him. And nothing about your body language or eyes told him otherwise.

“I could’ve talked to you too, but I was scared that you would think I was annoying for reaching out.”

“Annoying?” he said, confused. “You couldn’t be annoying. If you had reached out to me I would’ve been more than happy to answer.”

“Really?” you beamed.

“Of course. You have already been on my mind since the dinner party.” he confessed, feeling his cheeks burn even more. Your smile couldn’t get bigger, were you hearing this in real life or was this a dream coming true?

Charles' eyes were flickering between your eyes and lips again. He leaned in and this time you had no one to interrupt your moment. The kiss you shared was sweet and full of anticipation. All the electricity that you had felt before sparked like a firework now, the butterflies in your stomach were going crazy and your whole body wanted nothing more than to be close to him. Your hand reached for his chin and his hand was pressing against your back. None of you wanted to break off the kiss, in fear of coming back to reality. But the sound of food coming your way made you break it off, looking at each other with such adoration and love that nothing could come in between the two of you. Both flustered and nervous from the kiss but also full of adrenaline and excitement. Conversation flowed as never before, you talked about the dinner and how you had felt towards Charles and vice versa. 

After dinner Charles wanted to take you to the beach before you headed back to the hotel. The two of you walked hand in hand towards the ocean. You breathed in the salty air and Charles took out his phone to snatch a photo of you. He also started a slow song on spotify.

“What are you doing?” you asked as he grabbed your hand and placed the other on your lower back.

“Dancing with you.” he said, smiling with a tint of rosy cheeks. You just laughed at his sweet actions and danced with him until the sun was setting. He guided you back to the car and drove you to the hotel. When in the lobby you shared one last longing look before you had to be seperated. 

“I’ll see you again?” you asked.

“Of course.” he answered and kissed you knuckles.

“And that’s a promise?”

“That is a promise, ma chérie.”

You smiled and headed for the elevator and the last thing you saw before the door closed was Charles’ flustered face and boyish grin. He was on cloud nine and beyond. He didn’t know when was the last time he had felt this in love and to know that his love was reciprocated.

Je t’aime, (Y/N). Ma chérie. 

A/N: Thank you for reading 🥰

Tagged: @ohmyolympusssy @perfectfantasies22​ @lu-morningstar​