#Who was the teen girl writing gore at 15 and what would she think of today's writing

[insane-weasel]

I think as writers we should hold funerals for our WIPs more often.

Dearly beloved, gather us here today where this fic of some middle-aged man getting rawdogged and this other fanfic about the importance of friendship are laid to rest, because the author got really distracted playing that new video game.

We celebrate what could have been, cut-and-recycle those really good lines or ideas, because I swear I'm going to use them, I swear! And drag this poor document not to the great recycling bin or trash, but to the "graveyard" folder because sometimes I like to commune with the dead.

[annarellix]

The Girl’s Last Cry    by Alison Belsham  (Detective Lexi Bennett #2)

The girl lies on the dark ground, one arm flung out as if she is still looking for someone to help her. But her wide eyes are staring upwards, and Lexi knows that it is too late…

Detective Lexi Bennett is walking through the quiet Canterbury streets when she hears screaming. Rushing towards the sound, she finds the body of a teenage girl lying beneath one of the city’s ancient towers. Lexi looks up at the cold grey stone, and vows that she will find answers. Did the girl jump or fall… or was she pushed? Olivia’s distraught parents say their daughter was a talented musician with everything to live for. Lexi’s nephew, Sam, who knew Olivia, tearfully insists that she would never have taken her own life. But when a note is found, Lexi reluctantly wraps up the case. Then another teenager is found dead on a deserted path beneath a cliff. Lexi is certain there’s a link, especially when she learns that the boy was a musician too. His note uses the same phrases as Olivia’s, and when a second person’s footprints are found at the scene, Lexi realises she is on the track of a master manipulator… and ruthless killer. With her boss still unconvinced that the deaths are murders, Lexi races to find proof to back up her hunch, and to understand what lies behind these evil attacks on vulnerable children. And then she gets a call that fills her with dread. Her nephew Sam is missing.

Can Lexi outsmart a truly brutal monster, or will her own family pay the price?

Buy Link(s): https://geni.us/B0C1P64PJZsocial

My Review: I liked the first book in this series but this one was better even if it hit near home as I am a former guide leader and met some girls that made me think of those in this book. A book which is an excellent thriller but also a story about trouble teens, their solitude and how their solitude can bring them to dangerous places. It’s a disturbing story, twisty, and dark. I found it both gripping and heart-breaking at the same time and it could be hard to read if you had to deal with troubled children. The author does a good job in keeping the story far from any easy piety or gore. Lexi’s investigation is well done and bring her to some unexpected and new places. Her personal story plays a role, but the teams play a relevant role making this a good police procedural. I’m curious about the future and where the investigation will bring us. This is strongly recommended Many thanks to Bookouture for this ARC, all opinions are mine

The Author In 2016, I entered and won Bloody Scotland’s Pitch Perfect competition. This secured me an agent and a three-book publishing deal with Orion for my police procedural series set in the world of tattoos and tattooing. My first novel, The Tattoo Thief, was translated into 15 languages, was a No 1 bestseller in Italy and is the first instalment of the internationally acclaimed Tattoo Thief trilogy. I also write in collaboration with my brother Nick Higgins – Canelo has published our action thriller series set in Afghanistan, Death In Kabul and Death in Helmand. Now I’m embarking on a fresh crime series with Bookouture. It's set in Canterbury, featuring DI Lexi Bennett, newly appointed to lead the Major Incident Team after a spell working with the FBI’s specialist serial killer unit. I divide my time between London and Edinburgh, where I am a co-founder of the Edinburgh Writers’ Forum, providing professional development and networking for writers. To learn more about me and the books I write, visit my website at www.alisonbelsham.com

Social Media Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alison.belsham.3 Twitter: https://twitter.com/AlisonBelsham Website: http://www.alisonbelsham.com Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/alisonbelsham/ Bookouture Email Sign Up:  https://bookouture.com/subscribe/alison-belsham/

[morrigansmuses]

3 Golden Rules.

On Ethical disappointments. 

I was raised to be tolerant. To consider the views and opinions of others, to keep and open mind. I was a social outsider (homeschooled due to racism in the local school.) I vowed I wouldn’t ever exclude people for being different to me or having different values. I was desperate to make and keep friends. More than anything.

I was 15 in the late 1990s. Lonely as hell. I decided that I would befriend absolutely anyone who would have me. Essentially anyone who wouldn’t beat me up on sight for being foreign.

I decided that I had 3 and only 3 dealbreakers in terms of friendship.

RULE 1. They couldn’t be cruel to animals.

RULE 2. They coudn’t sexually abuse children.

RULE 3 They couldn’t be a card carrying Nazi.

If anyone in my life did any of those things I couldn’t associate with them anymore. But barring that I would try to accept them as individuals. 

Thats a pretty low bar right? I mean how could anyone fail to meet those insanely low standards?

See back then I didn’t know that shades of grey existed. I knew in theory that we were all imperfect beings, but I didn’t know what that meant yet in reality.

So I began to make friends. With normal kids. Actually probably nicer than average kids because they were sweet and sensitive enough to accept me for who I was when no one else would.

So the first hurdle I came across was that some of these people I was friends with enjoyed hunting. They would say for meat. I get that. Better than factory farming right? less cruel, less wasteful.

“You shouldn’t eat meat unless you’re willing to kill it yourself” They’d say virtuously.  

But then I saw them in action. Delighting in the act of killing in a way that I knew wasn’t healthy. Laughing at the kid goat’s head bursting in a shower of gore or the way an animal screamed upon being shot. Killing more than they needed… That’s an impulse I don’t believe humans should engender in themselves.

But it was for food. Right? So I overlooked it and silenced the voice in my heart.

One day my best friend shot a stray cat with his bb gun just for the laugh. It didn’t kill the cat or anything but the animal yelped and ran away. I was so upset and shocked that I burst into tears and it all came pouring out. Was he training himself to become a sociopath? I asked him.

He apologised. He never did anything like it again. He was very kind to animals, especially cats, ever since and doesn’t hunt them anymore for any reason.

I forgave.

That’s the first time I remember compromising a core value. It was like a tooth being pulled from my 15 year old head. 

I don’t regret it.

We’re still best friends. 

The second hurdle that started to crack my young heart was the undeniable fact that in the early 2000s almost every guy I knew in his early 20s had a girlfriend between that ages of 12 and 15. NEVER OLDER. I can’t stress this enough. They would vomit in disgust at the thought of a crone of 18 or 19. They were also VERY vocal about their desire and right to have sex with children after a few drinks. By the time I was 20 I knew I had aged out of the 20s dating pool. I wasn’t attracted to older men. 

No matter. I’m asexual and prefer platonic relationships anyway.

To this day I’ve never had a romantic relationship with a man. Because once I realised that Rule 2 wasn’t one any of them could keep, the trust was broken.

It wasn’t only men either. My closest girlfriend was a 26 year old substitute teacher who fucked one of her 15 year old students on a drunk night out once…

So they both had fun and boys that age are up for anything right? I mean. He probably still boasts about it today…

Right?

Plus… She was all I had. Like the only one I had at the time. I was so scared of losing her.

I turned a blind eye and ear. I tolerated. I didn’t have to approve of their teenage girlfriends did I? After all there were so many of them that if I cut them out of my life I’d have no friends ever again. Because the whole of society looked like them…

Thats the truth.

People in my extended family have dated 17 or 18 year old girls and encouraged them to drop out of school to have their children. People I love have done that.

I once knew a handsome, intelligent and charming man. He was dating a family member for a few months. He often defended the right of adult men to date teens. “Girls mature more quickly than boys.” He’d argue. Everyone would agree. After all hadn’t my great grandmother been 12 years old when she met my great grandfather and married him on her 16th birthday (with parental permission)? He was in his 20s. Just a boy himself surely? “We all know what children boys in their 20s are right?” Said my Mother… Whom I love very much.

Excuses were made.

Years later I discovered the the handsome, intelligent and charming man had been raping a 6 year old the entire time we’d known him. He is still wanted by the police today.

My father tells that when he was a boy of 18 back in the 70s he had kicked an older German man, a respected family friend, out of his car because the man had asked him to pull over, he had something important to tell him. When he did so, the man said that the Holocaust was a myth. An exaggeration, a Zionist hoax.

My Father was dating my mother at the time. She’s Jewish. So is his uncle, a Holocaust survivor.

He yelled at the man not to talk shit and made him walk home.

I am not my father.

The first time a Holocaust denier (a respected local businessman) voiced their opinion to me I froze. Then laughed. Surely he must be kidding... I argued briefly before realising that he’d made up his mind.

My well meaning people said I’d made a mistake. It was my job, they said, to change his mind. To educate him. Otherwise how would he learn?

I didn’t speak to him again but I still nod at him in the street because he employs a few of my friends and I wouldn’t want to make things awkward for them.

And also I don’t want him to yell at me. 

I have worked with Holocaust survivors and have survivors in my immediate family and I still nod in the street at a Holocaust Denier because we are raised to be polite aren’t we? Let’s not make a scene. 

We’re mature adults.

Aren’t we?

People are starting to turn weirder than they used to be. Politically.

My Leftist friends are in a secret facebook group... Strenuously defending China’s Uyghur genocide because Communism can do no wrong… And at the same time saying all the Israelis need to be killed for what they’ve done to the Palestinians. One suggests a biological weapon tailored to Jews.

My Centrist friends are suggesting we “Hang up democracy for a while” in order to combat global warming and welcome a global police state and stop “kicking off” about our rights all the time. “Maybe we need a jackboot up the arse” one of them says.

And the ones that aren’t on the Left?

My facebook feed these days is getting awfully full of Rothschild memes.

“We own every bank in the world and funded both sides of every war since Waterloo.” They say, next to a grinning caricature of Jacob de Rothschild. Reminiscent of a Nazi cartoon of a “Rat Jew.”

Even a hedge fund billionaire prick doesn’t deserve that, does he?

I don’t comment. What’s the point? They’ve watched all the youtube and don’t read history books on principal.

My Brother is getting into Qanon. So is my Sister in Law.

She follows the medical teachings of a man who thinks the Jews invented Chemotherapy to kill the Germans after the war. Apparently he is becoming more and more popular.

Eccentrics.

Thats all.

I’m half Jewish. Like My Brother.

One of the Survivors I know said that 3 weeks after the Nazi propaganda came into the school he attended, he was in Bergen Belsen and half his family was dead.

His neighbour was jealous because his father had 2 more cows than he did.

I hear Marine Le Pen is neck and neck with Macron to win France.

A good friend of mine said it's because by 2030 Muslims will outnumber white people in Europe. He won’t read the articles I send him. But he sure sends me a lot of YouTubes.

I ignore them because I don’t want to hate him. Maybe he ignores my articles for the same reason.

Hey 15 year old me…. You, skinny thing with the ethics, the braces and black eyeliner…

Those compromises I made were made out of love... And also fear. 

Please stop looking at me like that little girl.

“It’s true” writes my friend. They’re trying to breed us out. It’s all an elite Zionist plot.”

I close Whatsapp.

Here I go again I guess…

[babybluebanshee]

Things I’ve had to deal with as a city librarian, pt. who even knows anymore

Some of these are because Covid makes everyone’s lives a little harder. Others are just weirdos being weirdos. 

But they’re all equally baffling.

- The library has a mask mandate. You either wear one the entire time you’re in the building, or you leave. It’s that simple. The amount of people who fight us on this is staggering. One lady accused me of trying to force her into a panic attack for whatever reason, and then told me she’d have me fired because she was going to complain to the city coordinator. I didn’t feel like telling her the city coordinator was the one who wrote the policy about masks. She’d figure it out.

- We have a basket of disposable masks by all the doors for people to take if they don’t have one or forget theirs. A guy (already wearing a mask, mind) came in, grabbed all the masks out of one of the baskets, flipped through them like they were a deck of cards, then stuck them back in the basket. Then he locked eyes with me to let me know he’d done it on purpose. We had to throw them all away. 

- We haven’t been putting out the newspapers we’re subscribed to, because we don’t really have a way to effectively and properly sanitize them when patrons are done with them. A guy came in wanting to read them, and when we explained to him why they weren’t out, he turned red in the face, telling us that was unacceptable and he demanded we give him the papers. The director decided to let him have them, and we’d just quarantine them when he was finished, so we asked him which ones he wanted. He wanted all the papers from the day we closed to that current day. We closed back in March. This was happening June. He spent maybe fifteen minutes looking through this huge stack of newspapers, gave them back, and didn’t even fucking thank us.

- We had all eight seasons of Game of Thrones on DVD, and they’ve always been really popular. There was one woman who was absolutely obsessed with them. Every week, she’d check some out, then out another on reserve so it would be ready when she brought the one she had back. When other people would put them on reserve and she had to wait, she’d get angry because she put it on reserve! Why wasn’t it there yet?! And she never watched the seasons in order. She’d start with season two, then skip to season six, then back to one, then to four, and when she’d cycled through them? She’d start over. It was a little unsettling how into it she was.

- A girl, probably about eleven or twelve, came in with what I can only describe as the world’s worst grandma. The old biddy was insanely dismissive of everything the kid showed interest in. The kid spotted some graphic novels and mentioned how much she like reading them, and the grandma scoffed and was like “You mean you like looking at the pictures.” The kid mentioned the Goosebumps series and grandma goes, “Ugh, those books are terrible, pick something else. Something good.” We introduced a book box for teens recently, and when the kid saw the sign for that, she sounded interested. Grandma just went, “That’s stupid. Why don’t you pick your own books? And crafts are for children.” To the girl’s credit, she didn’t seem to let the sour old bitch get to her, but I came very close to just smacking the her several times. 

- The not-like-other-girls girl made another appearance recently. She was wearing a cape. Our IT guy was working on the computer behind the desk that day, and when he saw that, he looked at her, then looked at me like the most confused puppy. Honestly, I don’t even care that she was wearing the cape, because capes are the height of fashion and function and we should bring those bitches back. What bothered me is that it was clearly a cheap polyester thing you get in dollar store Halloween costumes. If you’re gonna be a weird in public, at least shill out for velvet. 

- Speaking of our IT guy, there was a day when our entire computer network went down for the majority of the day. It worked for about fifteen minutes after we opened, then just...stopped. We had to write up check outs by hand, we couldn’t pull reserves, and we couldn’t use the OPAC. None of the patron computers were working either. Our poor IT guy was there from 10:15 to three in the afternoon, trying to fix it, and he STILL couldn’t get them all running. It was absolute mayhem. 

- Ever since we added an Adult Fiction Graphic Novel section, we’ve had more and more people complaining about them. Mostly its parents who don’t actually, like, pay attention to what their children check out and assume comic book = equal child friendly (like the woman who let her ten year old check out Lock and Key and was horrified to realize it contains huge amounts of gore, violence, and sexual content, despite that big AF sticker on the side). An equally big section are the Christian warriors who see the horror and crime comics and are absolutely scandalized on children’s behalf, because what if a child SEES that! Despite the fact they’re in their own section, a section which is nowhere near the kid’s area. One woman found one on the new books shelf objectionable, so she covered it with other stuff. As soon as she left, I went out and rearranged it do it was the only cover you could see. Because I’m a petty bitch.

- The museum saga continues! If you’ll recall from a few posts ago, the museum is a consistent pain in our collective ass for well over a year and a half, taking over half our genealogy room to prove to the city they could run the operation without help and get money to refurbish a historical house.  Well...no one has been in the museum at all since about November of last year. It was supposed to be open every Saturday from 10 to 2, and we haven’t seen hide nor hair of anyone who runs the damn thing. We normally wouldn’t care about it...but people who have temporarily donated stuff to them are starting to show up to reclaim it, and can’t get it out, because the museum staff has the key to the display cases. And we can’t get ahold of any of them. Every time we think we’ve found the right person to talk to about letting people have their stuff back, they say “Oh, no, so-and-so took over that, I have no idea about any of it.” So, they’ve got tons of stuff that does no belong to them, tucked away in locked cases that no one can get into, and everyone is big mad about it. This is pretty much exactly what we expected to happen.

- One of my former coworkers just...stopped showing up to work. She didn’t come in for a shift, and everyone tried contacting her, but she wouldn’t pick up. We tried to check her Facebook (because a few of us were friends with her), but she’d blocked all of us. We didn’t know what happened to her for weeks. Then, one day, another of my coworkers came in and said they’d been to the doctor to get some blood work done, and the former coworker was in the opposite room, drawing a different person’s blood. She pretended like she didn’t know her. None of us ever saw her again after that. She didn’t even return her polos. 

[jennacha]

here’s a big rant about The Child Thief

ok i have a big confession to make

I’m kind of obsessed with the book The Child Thief.

It’s not a particularly good book. In fact, I would go as far to say it’s poor. The writing has the cadence of 15-year-old-going-through-their-novelist-phase. I guess I could say it reads like fan fiction. The plot is very messy. The characters are badly written. It feels like a book that wasn’t edited. The word “magic” is used a lot, and it’s embarrassing. There’s a part where a character slams their fist on the ground and yells “WHY?!” and it’s embarrassing. The dialogue feels like it came out of a 1990s teen adventure fantasy movie trying to imitate the success of a Corey Feldman/Haim movie. Several times throughout the book the thought, “Why did the author do this?” popped in my head. However, the author is a fantasy illustrator, so the descriptive writing is a plus. He knows how to illustrate the landscape with words as well as he would in painting. The book is not a special unit dumpster fire piece of shit insult to literature; in fact, as far as I know a lot of people like it and it has gotten a decent amount of praise. It’s just not very good, in terms of the surface level writing. But I can easily see a lot of people enjoying it for basic entertainment value.

So that would be my YA-focus blog summary review of the book.

My public outcry summary review of the book is this:

I’m obsessed with the book because it’s so fucking weird.

It’s so fucking weird in that it’s a perfect shitstorm of the author not knowing what he’s doing, and thinking he’s knowing what he’s doing. Like a perfect bad B-movie that exhibits textbook schlock where the director is incompetent and clueless but lacks any self-awareness, in terms of style, layout, and production.

But also, the author thinks what he’s doing is…cool.

The book is about evil Peter Pan.

I could end this whole thing right there. But I must release these hounds. I’ve been needing to let all this out.

My wretched insanity craves affirmation.

This book should be a carbon copy of every other average to below average dark fantasy novel that you see on the bookstore shelves and never heard of and wonder what the author is doing now with all their not-fame. This book should be one that could’ve been written by anybody and it wouldn’t have made a difference. This book should be one of sixty million examples of nothing special. In a way, it is definitely 100% yes definitely yes all those things. The universe decided that I would be the bearer of the burden of having much stronger feelings about it then necessary. I probably feel more strongly about it than the author ever did. It is in my life now.

The biggest thing about this book being so fucking weird is the mind boggling tonal inconsistency. There are a number of shifts in universe-encompassing moods, which go from “Christopher-Nolan-but-also-kind-of-Stephanie-Meyer-dark-gloomy-the-world-is-unhappy-and-I-like-it-that-way”, to “David-Fincher-the-world-is-ACTUALLY-awful”, to “Oh-right-this-is-a-Peter-Pan-story-whimsical-fun-Goonies-meets-Disney-Channel-original”, to “A-worse-version-of-The-Hobbit-movies-with-some-redeeming-qualities”, to “Quentin-Tarantino-literally-wrote-this.” This isn’t hyperbole. The writing language can be REALLY EMBARRASSING and straight out of a Disney movie. That tone of a fun romp for the whole family is cradled by an abundance of swearing, unsettling fantasy-horror, and extreme, shocking violence.

You know when you’re watching Beetlejuice, and you’re like “Okay this movie is for children” and then out of nowhere Michael Keaton goes “NICE FUCKIN’ MODEL” and grabs his dick.

In The Child Thief, THAT washes over you every time you finish reading a sentence. Only, it’s as if you’re watching Hook, and at one point Robin Williams slices a person’s face off, and the camera stays on the faceless person for a minute and Steven Spielberg walks into frame and points to the gurgling faceless head and describes to you how you can still see the holes where the mouth, nose, and eyes were.

(Yes that actually happens in the book.)

Or if you’re watching Neverending Story and at one point you get expository dialogue explaining how Atreyu was pimped as a boy and had to live on the streets because his mother was, uh, a drug addict or something?. 

(That also happens.)

Or if you’re watching Indian in the Cupboard and the film opens with a little girl about to get raped by her dad.

(I’m serious.)

Or if you’re watching Hocus Pocus and Bette Midler is a vampire and she preys on a 6-year-old kid and neither of them have shirts on.

(I swear to god.)

Or if you’re reading a modern re-imagining of Peter Pan and the story involves blatant themes of gore in acute descriptive detail, mass murder, torture, and scenes with naked women and perverted fantasy-creature-men.

(Oh, wait.)

You’re probably thinking, “All those themes are found pretty much everywhere in every medium, especially the naked women and perverts. Big whoop.” I’ll add, then, all those themes, involving children.

Now you’re thinking, “Jenna don’t you love that movie Drag Me To Hell which involves a child being murdered within the first 2.5 minutes?”

Just hear me out and yes.

The Child Thief is entertaining in how CAPTIVATING the strangeness is. The tonal mishmash of kid-friendly meets rated-R is something I actually like, when it's a hit. I like things that have a quality of whimsy amidst dark themes. Movies such as Temple of Doom, Gremlins, Return to Oz, Darkman have this quality…basically almost every movie from the 1980s during the period when audiences had grown up with movies after censorship was abolished and half the world said “think of the children” and the other half said “no.” There are tons and tons of other examples in every medium of how general tonal contrast makes for unique and effective works of art. My point is, this specific type of tonal contrast also can be done well.

But those movies don’t open with attempted child rape, and they don’t end with children literally being mowed down in a grisly battle scene (I’m serious). I’m making a lot of comparisons to movies because the book almost feels like a movie, in that the author isn’t a novelist, he’s a visual story-maker who wrote a book because he knew that no movie studio would pick this shit up. Maybe the films I listed didn’t intend for tonal contrast to be a calculated driving element for their stories, but the subtlety of tones in those movies allows for one encompassing, harmonious tonal blanket to wrap them in. There is no subtlety in The Child Thief.

The tonal confusion of The Child Thief is, I almost wanna say coincidental. I think the author just didn’t know how to write well, but he’s a very dark visual guy and had all these dark visuals in his head ready to be unleashed. All the horrible violence and awful themes are fine in and of itself, but they aren’t earned if the attitude of “I’m gunna turn the children’s book foundation on its head” isn’t committed to, and “I’m gunna subvert everything you know and love about Peter Pan” isn’t calculatedly plotted out. The author has a bad sense of humor, a poor understanding of what is required of an epic storyline, and treats violence, horror and revenge less like a literary device and more like a fetishization of coolness in a vulgar display of power as a writer.

The misguidedness goes as far as the character writing. None of the characters’ motivations make sense. The author couldn’t keep track of either committing to one motivation or the other, a lot of the times for the sake of the plot. Especially with the Peter Pan character. He’s basically literally the anti-christ (this is 100% canon, if the author says it isn’t then he’s a liar and an idiot) and written like a “troubled villain” but then gets these VERY polarized directions of unrelenting psychopathic Cause It’s Die Motherfucka Die Motherfucka Still, Fool villainy and ham-fisted humanism and victimhood. It’s a case of like, the author meant for him to be the charming bad guy who tricks the audience into being on his side because that’s what Peter does to the characters in the book. But the author found him too cool and wanted to be his friend, but in order to justify being friends with a character who wants to murder everybody, he inappropriately gives him remorse and forces the reader to feel bad for him.

And like all the kids in the book are supposed to super love Peter Pan but the version of Neverland is like this horrific, NIGHTMARE HELL of a place and the kids are basically being used to fight in a war, and all the kids are totally okay with it, because their lives in the real world were really awful and the whole thing is that Peter “saves” them and they’ll do anything for him. And it’s like, okay???????????????????? But wouldn’t it be cooler if the kids were like okay this guy is a fucking psycho and Neverland is a horrific, nightmare hell and I’m learning a lot about myself right now having once trusted him???? And then in their retaliation Peter would show his true colors and enforce aggression onto them in serving as his personal enslaved militia? And it becomes like this inner circle of conflict? And since Peter is the only person who can bring them back to the real world, they play ball but hope to steer their own agenda out of the situation? OH, right, that DOES happen, but with ONE of the characters. ONE. Conveniently, the main character. And god knows there can’t be more than one smart human being at a time.

But if you want to SUBVERT the BELOVED CHILDREN’S STORY FORMAT wouldn’t it be fun to do PETER PAN VS. THE LOST BOYS? Instead of MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE PETER PAN AND THE HOT TOPIC LOST BOYS VS. THE ONLY SEMI-SMART MAIN CHARACTER? Like wouldn’t it be GREAT if the characters WEREN'T DUMB? And the author put in some CONSTRUCTIVE, CHALLENGING CREATIVE EFFORT and treated the interactions like a CHESS GAME instead of a CONTRIVED MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN JOEY, ROSS, CHANDLER, RACHEL, MONICA AND THE OTHER ONE? Wouldn’t it be GREAT if ALL THE CHARACTERS TURNED AGAINST PETER but then Peter SLOWLY CHARMED SOME OR ALL OF THEM BACK IN, to make him MORE like an UNEARTHLY MONSTER? Like the lost boys became SELF-AWARE LITERAL VICTIMS OF THE ORIGINAL TALE FORMAT, where Peter Pain is this IMPOSSIBLY CHARMING CHARACTER THAT IS BELOVED BY THE LAWS OF THE UNIVERSE? ALSO, the MAIN CHARACTER is supposed to be the MODEL OF REASON FOR THE READER TO RELATE TO, but the main character still gets CHARMED BY PETER PAN, WHILE WE KNOW AS RATIONAL ADULTS WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING TO HAPPEN? LIKE THAT’S SUPPOSED TO BE HOW READING BOOKS IS? When we KNOW WHAT’S GUNNA HAPPEN? BUT THE AUTHOR WANTS TO BE PETER’S FRIEND SO HE DOES IT ANYWAY? AND LIKE SEVERAL OTHER CHARACTERS THAT THE MAIN CHARACTER IS FRIENDS WITH ARE ALSO SUPPOSED TO BE FIGURES OF REASON BUT THEY’RE ALSO 100% PARTISAN IN SIDING WITH PETER? SO IT’S LIKE HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE ALL YOU DUMB, DUMB KIDS?

LIKE OKAY, SO HOW IT GOES IS THAT PETER CAN LIKE WALK ACROSS THE DIMENSION BETWEEN NEVERLAND AND THE REAL WORLD AND THAT'S HOW HE GETS THE KIDS? SO AT ONE POINT IN NEVERLAND THEY ALL HAVE TO SCAVENGE FOR FOOD BECAUSE THE VEGETATION IN NEVERLAND IS DYING, AND THEY MENTION HOW PETER USED TO BRING THEM FOOD FROM THE REAL WORLD? AND IT'S LIKE, HOW ABOUT YOU JUST KEEP DOING THAT? OR LIKE, WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU WANT TO JUST LEAVE? YEAH THE REAL WORLD SUCKS, BUT IS IT WORTH STARVING TO DEATH JUST SO YOU CAN STICK IT TO THE MAN? LIKE ARE THERE PEDIATRICIANS IN NEVERLAND? ARE THERE AT-RISK YOUTH SHELTERS? FOSTER CARE? NEVERLAND SOUP KITCHENS? NEVERLAND SOCIAL WORKERS? NEVERLAND CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES? NEVERLAND POLICE? NO? JUST MONSTERS THAT PAINFULLY KILL YOU, ZOMBIE PIRATES, NO FOOD, AND LITERALLY THE ANTI-CHRIST?

AND THEN THERE’S RIDICULOUS SHIT LIKE, AT ONE POINT ALL THESE MAGICAL FANTASY CHARACTERS HIJACK A NEW YORK CITY FERRY TO GET TO THE HARBOR AND IT’S LIKE, THIS IS SO RIDICULOUS IT SHOULD BE AWESOME, BUT IT ISN’T AWESOME BUT IT SHOULD BE SO WHY ISN’T IT?

AND LIKE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS IS A FAT USELESS KID NAMED DANNY AND THERE IS NO REASON FOR HIM TO BE IN THE BOOK BESIDES TO BE THE TOKEN FAT USELESS KID NAMED DANNY?

BUT DANNY IS LIKE ALSO THE ONLY OTHER SMART CHARACTER IN THE BOOK BECAUSE HE’S LIKE WHY DID I SAY YES TO THIS WHY ARE WE STILL FOLLOWING THIS GUY WHY DON’T WE JUST LEAVE AND IT’S LIKE YEAH PUT DANNY IN CHARGE BUT NOBODY LISTENS TO HIM AND HE’S JUST COMPLETELY UTTERLY USELESS?

AND THEN CAPTAIN HOOK ADOPTS DANNY AND IT’S LIKE OH MY GOD THE AUTHOR FORGOT HE NEEDED TO GIVE DANNY SOMETHING TO DO?

AND LIKE I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER THE MAIN CHARACTER’S NAME?

AND THEN AT THE END OF THE BOOK, SO, THERE’S THIS BIG HUGE BATTLE SCENE WHERE CHILDREN DIE LEFT AND RIGHT, LIKE THE “ANTAGONIST” (NOT PETER) HAS A HUGE SWORD AND IS SWINGING AT THE KIDS LIKE HE’S HARVESTING WHEAT, OH AND YEAH, BY THE WAY, AGAIN, THE REAL WORLD IS LOCATED IN NEW YORK CITY AND THE BATTLE HAPPENS ON LIKE THE FRONT LAWN OF A LIBRARY OR SOMETHING. LIKE THE STORY KIND OF TOTALLY GOES OFF THE RAILS INTO FANTASTIC SCHLOCK. AND AT ONE POINT THE BATTLE IS ABRUPTLY INTERRUPTED BY NYC POLICE AND IT’S LIKE ARE YOU SHITTING MY NUTS THE NYC COPS ARE INVOLVED IN THIS FANTASY BATTLE THIS IS AMAZING, BUT THEN THAT DOESN’T HAPPEN AND IT GOES NOWHERE. AND ALL THE MAIN CHARACTERS ARE DYING, AND NONE OF THEM HAD ARCS, LIKE NONE OF THEM REALIZED WHAT THEY GOT THEMSELVES INTO OR WHAT PETER REALLY WAS, AND AT THE ACT 3 POST-LOW POINT THE MAIN CHARACTER DIDN’T GO OFF TO DO HIS OWN THING AND TRY TO SAVE THE DAY, HE JUST GOES WITH PETER TO DO WHATEVER HE WANTS, AND THEN HIS ARC IS BASICALLY NOTHING AND THEN HE DIES. AND *PETER* WINS. AND AGAIN HE’S LITERALLY THE ANTI CHRIST SO THE BOOK ENDS WITH HIM BRIDGING THE REAL WORLD WITH NEVERLAND, AND BASICALLY BEING THE BRINGER OF HELL UNTO THE EARTH. AND UP UNTIL THEN THE BOOK HAD ABOUT 68 INSTANCES OF THE READER SWITCHING BETWEEN FEELING BAD FOR PETER AND THEN ACCEPTING THAT HE IS HITLER NURSE RATCHED MAO STALIN. SO WHEN ALL THE KIDS DIE, HE HAS A SCENE OF FEELING REALLY BAD AND THE READER IS SUPPOSED TO BE ALL LIKE AW HE REALLY DOES CARE! AND THEN NEVERLAND GETS BRIDGED INTO NEW YORK CITY, AND HE’S LIKE HA HA HA HA I DID IT I WON. BUT IT’S WRITTEN IN SUCH A WAY THAT LIKE, THE AUDIENCE IS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE, WHEEEEEE! LIKE THIS THING THAT HAPPENED IS THE DOOM OF MANKIND, AND THE TONE SHOULD REALLY BE “OH GOD NO.” BUT THE AUTHOR WAS HAPPY THAT PETER WON IN THE END BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE HIS FRIEND, EVEN THOUGH LIKE FIFTEEN PAGES AGO PETER CAUSED THE DEATH OF AN ARMY OF CHILDREN (AFTER ANOTHER 600 PAGES OF ALL KINDS OF OTHER AWFUL SHIT). SO NOT ONLY ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FEEL SAD THAT PETER FEELS SAD, BUT THEN WE’RE SUPPOSED TO FEEL HAPPY THAT PETER FEELS HAPPY. HOW ABOUT GO FUCK YOURSELF? HOW ABOUT IF YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE PETER A CHALLENGING UNRELIABLE ANTI-HERO, DON’T MAKE HIS DARK QUALITIES SO INCONTESTABLY EVIL, OR, EITHER CHOOSE TO MAKE PETER HATED BY THE AUDIENCE, OR MAKE THE AUDIENCE FEEL FOOLISH FOR BEING CHARMED BY PETER AND PARTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THE BAD SHIT THAT HAPPENED AND GO FUCK YOURSELF?

...

I’ll give a different example of both tonal incongruence and bad character writing.

So, the opening scene of the book that involves attempted child rape, so. What happens is that Peter saves the little girl in time by killing the dad, and gains her trust to go to Neverland. The way the story regards the introduction to Peter is that of wonder and curiosity through the little girl’s eyes, as if it was derived from the original children’s tale. So the opener is meant to establish: a gritty “realness” to the book (which is never earned but i digress), and Peter as a mysterious magical hero. Then, the story carries on into describing Peter’s motivation in saving (the book uses “stealing”) children, which vaguely mentions his villainous indulgence (he’s saving children to recruit them in an army in Neverland to fight captain hook because his mommy is the president of neverland and there’s almost-Oedipal themes going on). Fine. However, the cadence of Peter actually being villainous is very very…undermined. Like the actual voice of the NARRATION is misinformed. Like the narration sounds more like Peter’s inner monologue speaking in the third person. Like the third person is in on it. Like the author is painting Peter as this wicked wrongdoer as if it’s a cool thing and he wants to be his friend (Oh wait).

This is how the voice of the opener is handled: Child rape —> Peter prevents child rape and saves child —> Peter is a good guy for doing this —> Peter is still a good guy for doing this but he did it maybe not for the right reasons. As it turns out, Peter is unquestionably the bad guy. Peter was the bad guy from the start, Peter was the bad guy while he was saving the little girl.

The rest of the book is handled like this: Peter is cool and badass  —> Peter is mischievous but still the person we want to follow —> Peter is a psycho...but still cool —> Oh shit Peter has a super awful past and his psycho-ness is the result of being a victim so I forgive him —> Wow Peter’s both a psycho and an asshole—> Okay I dunno about Peter —> The author keeps having Peter save people from being raped as if he’s not an asshole but he’s still a psycho and an asshole so I still don’t know —> The plot has a a lot of stuff so I guess I’m still with Peter —> Okay Peter won but everyone is dead because of him and he’s still an asshole so I still don’t know.

Peter tricks victims of rape, abuse, slavery, etc. into thinking they’re being saved when in fact he objectifies them for his personal needs. Remember how I said this book’s insane tonal confusion isn’t subtle? Well, from the book’s perspective, putting a finger on Peter’s good side and bad side...is subtle. Problematically subtle. Which, on a literary standpoint, sounds like a good thing, but...

This is the part when I say the thing you ACTUALLY SHOULDN’T BE SUBTLE ABOUT is PETER. You CAN be subtle about his tragic backstory. Be subtle about sprinkling his good qualities over his CAKE TOWER of BADNESS. Give him some KICK. Have the flavors INTERACT. Make the audience be like “OOOH, is that cumin?? Interesting! HMMMM! INTERESTING! CUMIN! ON DORITOS! YEAh I am definitely eating Doritos, this is absolutely Doritos, but there’s some CUMIN in there! Okay, back to eating my DORITOS! OOOOH, IS THAT CAYENNE?????” But whatever you do, make it CLEAR what you are SERVING. You should not have a MIXED BAG, a MEDLEY, and try to sell it like not-a-medley. You should NOT make half your plate super spicy and half your plate super sweet and make the audience roll the dice on each bite they take. Peter Pan isn’t some complexass Faustian character study, it’s SUBVERSIVE HYPERVIOLENT DARK FANTASY PORN. IT’S DORITOS

This is how the voice of the opener should've been handled: Child rape —> Peter prevents child rape and saves child —> Peter is the bad guy.

This is how the voice of the rest of the book should've been handled: No matter what happens —> Peter is the bad guy.

I don’t have and never will have the literary criticism credentials to say anything with credible boldness, but I’m going to say this anyway: Using child rape to force the reader to feel a certain way about the tone of the world and the first heroic impression of a character is wrong. Forcing an act of heroism (especially for you to then later say “Just kidding not the hero”) in that context is inappropriate and wrong. That’s like throwing 9/11 into the background of a love story to force the audience to feel extra emotional. 1) There are many, many, many, many ways you can establish “realness” in your opener with or without violence. I’m not saying there is a hierarchy of what kind of awful things involving children are okay to write about, but opening your story with attempted child rape is an unnecessary extreme if parts of your story reads like an episode of Saved By The Bell. Revenge alone isn’t cool. John Wick is cool because of the way revenge is handled. Writing about attempted child rape and then immediate revenge on the rapist is the Epipen-shot-to-the-brain method of forcibly getting your audience to go “I LIKE PETER!”, which isn’t at all earned and probably shouldn’t be in your story… 2) ESPECIALLY if you don’t simultaneously establish with slats nailed on a wall that Peter is the bad guy. The author basically deceived the audience into liking Peter in the worst way possible, ironically, which is what he had Peter do to the other characters. If you want to cleverly deceive the audience into liking Peter, do it through his dialogue, personality, the externalized product of the relationship between him and his environment. Be inventive about it. It’s a book. You got words. Use...words to your advantage. If you want to open your story with attempted child rape at the very least as a way to tell the audience this shit’s serious, don’t.

Just don’t. It’s fine.

The Child Thief can’t be pinned as So Bad It’s Good. It’s poor, but it’s not Tommy Wiseau-acclaim-bad. The only way I can describe it is So Disorderly It’s Weird. But it has potential for being SO Weird It’s Kind Of Genius. Which makes it So Almost SO Weird It’s Kind Of Genius It’s Frustrating.

The book’s biggest detriment is that it takes itself too seriously. The author’s motivating in writing the book (this is fact) was that he recognized that the beloved original tale of Peter Pan has a lot of dark elements, but continues to be celebrated as a children’s story. And he wanted to take that notion and run with it. What happened was that he selectively fell in love with elements of that concept, and instead of writing a story that was meant to pull the rug from under us, he ended up writing a run-of-the-mill edgy dark fantasy that he was obliged to pepper with Peter Pan references. Instead of pulling the entire rug beneath our feet and hauling us onto our asses, he took a small handful of rug here and there and just occasionally tugged at it roughly, so that we’d almost lose our balance and get annoyed and tell him to stop.

The book lacks its own conceptual self-awareness that it built for itself, and the result is two different bodies trying to be forcibly shoved into the same book-sized box, when it should’ve been a new gross, satirical, humorous, unique body entirely.

In that sense, I really think this book could’ve been truly unironically awesome. I love the idea of cartoonishly exaggerating the dark elements (especially the violence) of the original tale that have been culturally ignored, like a lot of (or most) (or all) old children’s tales. My ideal solution to this book would actually be making it even more ridiculous in every way, but strung together with self-awareness and intention, where the author could acknowledge that the absurdity is instrumental, not indulgent. There are many aspects of the book that I really like thematically, and none of them are fully (or at all) seen through to their potential. These ideas aren’t really intentionally presented in the book, but: I like the idea that Peter is a sadistic volatile killing machine because he’s cursed with being riiiiiight on the cusp of hitting puberty, and his body is trapped without that natural sexual/psychological release, turning him into an aggressive animal constantly teased by unfulfilled subconscious heat. I like the idea that the lost boys element would be subverted into an inevitable Lord of the Flies esque shitstorm. I like the idea that the danger and villainy are at first generalized in adults but eventually presented in the children. I like the idea that every single possible fucking thing in the world—both the real world (mostly nyc LoL!) and Neverland—are a threat and are actively trying to kill the children, and the children treat it like an adventure before the horror becomes real. I like the idea of illustrating the outcome of blindly following fun naive figures of leadership. There are even a number of character interaction scenes that I like format wise. Just minus the embarrassing dialogue. That stuff's easy to rewrite in your head as you read it. Also I would take out that part in the book that I described as Bette Midler not having a shirt on while preying on a 6 year old. That part was really fucking uncomfortable. Seriously wtf, Gerald Brom.

I must concede this notion: The writer didn’t set out to create a masterpiece. He wrote the book to have fun. He succeeded, and his readers expected the same thing and received the experience they wanted. Of all the things that could’ve landed in my hands and tickled me in a weird enough way to make me wish it was better, for some reason it had to be this.

I could keep going, but...eh, (sigh).

But lastly—again, the descriptive writing of the world is very lush, and at times effectively horrific. The reading experience is a constant stop and start call-and-response of really great potential, really clumsy writing, and really misunderstood tonal directions. All those things put this book directly on the edge of FRUSTRATING. Uniquely frustrating. It couldn’t have been salvaged by the hands of a more competent writer, because the product came to light specifically out of the author’s unintentional confusion, not his laziness. A lazy product with potential can be salvaged through additions and tweaks, but The Child Thief cannot because the story was seen through the way it existed in the author’s head and heart. It is exactly what it...is. It can’t be imitated, or inspired by, or re-re-imagined. This weirdass fucking book is just sitting on this planet, being read by people, and shit. 

…..Anyway. This was all just meant to be the caption for my fan art. http://jennacha.tumblr.com/post/172559227502/i-made-fan-art-of-a-book-i-both-love-and-hate-lol

[dukereviewsmovies]

Duke Reviews: Chopping Mall

Hi, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews Where We Continue Our Annual Monsterween...

With A Really Bad Slasher Film, I Call Chopping Mall...

I Was Originally Thinking About Talking About Killer Clowns From Outer Space But Since The Happy Death Day Movies Were A Mix Of Slasher/Sci-fi And Comedy I Decided To Not Do It This Year And Instead Make Up For The Lack Of Gore And Blood In Those Films With This Film...

Now, Let Me Ask You Something, With A Name Like Chopping Mall What Would You Expect?

Oh, And Don't Bother Writing Your Answer In The Comments Because I Already Know Everyone's Answer, You Expect A Guy Who Looks Like Jason Voorhees Going Around A Mall, Butchering Unsuspecting Teens...

But No, The Person Who Made This Movie Thought...

(Person 1) "Ha! Who'd Want To See That? No, Instead Let's Do Killer Robots Who Gain Sentience During A Thunderstorm And Decide To Kill Teens Inside Of A Mall During A Late Night Party"

(Person 2) "Late Night Party/Orgy"

(Person 1) "Well, It's The 80's And You Can't Have A Slasher Movie Without Sex, So Why Not"...

But Is This Film As Horrible As I'm Making It Sound? Let's Find Out As We Watch Chopping Mall...

The Film Starts With A Film On The Secure-Tronics Protector 101 Robots Which Is The New Security System At The Plaza Park Mall To Which Their Creator, Dr. Sam Simon Is On Hand To Answer Questions Concerning The Robots...

(Start At 2:00, End At 4:35)

We Get A Title Card As We See The Goings On At The Mall...

Yes, That's Nice, Oh, Look They Got A Scoops Ahoy!...

(Start At 1:44, End At 1:52)

During The Credits We Also Discover That Roger Corman's Wife, Julie Corman Produced The Film...

Oh, I Guess That Explains Why There Are So Many Roger Corman Movie Poster Along The Background Of The Next Scene...

And It's In This Scene We Start Meeting Our Fodder For The Killer Robots Starting With Alison And Suzie (Played By Scream Queen Barbara Crampton) Who Work At A Barbeque Joint But As Suzie Puts It Tonight They're Going To Have Good Times To The Max...

However, Alison Doesn't Want To Show Because She Doesn't Know Anybody Despite Suzie Telling Her That After Tonight She Will, This Probably Leads To The Worst Piece Of Acting In This Film...

Wow, Was It Too Much For You To Put Emotion In That Line, Sir? Did They Not Pay You Enough To Say That Line The Right Way? Or Did You Just Think Eh, No One's Going To See This Movie, So, I'll Just Half-Ass It So, I Can Get A Paycheck...

Meanwhile, While A Storm Is Going On, Lightning Hits The Control Center Causing Alarms To Go Off As The Robots Gain Sentience, Killing The One Man In The Control Room...

But As That Happens We Meet 3 More People On The Robot Killing Fodder List, Named Ferdy (Not Fergie) Mike And Greg Who Are Using Ferdy's Uncle's Store For The Party Tonight With Beers On Hand And Suzie Setting Ferdy Up With Alison...

Meanwhile On The Other Side Of Town 2 More People On The List, Rick And Linda Have Engine Trouble Which Linda Manages To Fix, Most People Believe Them To Be Married But Me, I Don't Think So Because They Mention About Using Their Wedding Money To Fix Their Automotive Business So, That To Me Tells Me They're Not Married But They're Trying To Do So, But I Don't Know If Anyone Has A Definitive Answer For This Write Me In The Comments...

Meeting Our Last Victim In This Movie Leslie At A Clothing Store, She Runs Into Her Boyfriend Mike Who's There To See Her Despite Her Father Being There As They Tell Him That They're Going To A Birthday Party For Suzie Tonight Which I Don't Think He Believes But He Buys The Story Enough So They Can Continue Making Out...

With Alison's Dad Giving Her Permission To Go To The Party, Suzie Is Ecstatic As They Head On Over To Ferdy's Uncle's Store While Another Control Room Attendant Gets Killed By The Robots...

With The Party Underway, Everyone (Except Ferdy And Alison Who Are Introduced To Each Other By Rick And Suzie) Drinks Beers, Dances And Makes Out...

With The Protector Robots Going On Duty, The Teens (Except For Ferdy And Alison Who Are Watching A Roger Corman Movie) Do One Of The Things You're Not Supposed To Do In A Horror Movie...Pork...

(Start At 1:01, End At 1:07)

Meanwhile, A Janitor, Portrayed By Joe Dante Regular, Dick Miller Mops The Floor Only To Get Electrocuted By One Of The Robots...

(End At 1:15)

At Least It's A Better Kill Than How You Died In The Terminator...

His Character Was Also Named After A Character He Played In A Corman Movie Entitled A Bucket Of Blood So, I Guess They Were Honoring Him...

Out Of Cigarettes, Leslie Sends Mike To Get Some But Not Before Offering Him Some Incentive To Hurry Back...

Eventually Finding A Vending Machine, Mike Is Confronted By One Of The Robots Who Asks Him For His Identification But As Mike Shows It To Him, Giving A The Day The Earth Stood Still/Army Of Darkness Reference...

(Start At 0:57, End At 1:03)

It Tranquilizes Mike Only To Kill Him Off Screen (Don't Worry We See The Body Shortly) Wondering Where Mike Is, Leslie Gets A Shirt And Underwear On To Go Look For Him, But Eventually Finding Mike, Who's Throat Was Slit by The Robot...

Confronted By One Of The Robots, Leslie Gets Chased By It As It's Lasers Fire At Her Eventually It Hits Her In The Back And On Her Butt Before Taking The Killshot By Blowing Her Damn Head Off...

With Everyone Watching Leslie Die, The Robot Along With Another Robot Break Into The Store To Go After The Others As They Fire Lasers At Them, Eventually Making It To The Back Storeroom, The Main Mall Doors Are Now Barred Until Six Am And With The Robots Placing Dynamite On The Door To Blow It Open, They Have No Choice But To Separate With The Girls Taking The Vents While The Guys Take The Emergency Exit So They Can Get Some Weapons To Take Down Those Robots...

With A Robot Approaching, The Guys Try Firing Shots At It But Unfortunately All Their Bullets Bounce Off Of It Which Forces Them To Roll In A Propane Tank So They Can Blast At That To Blow The Robot To Kingdom Come, They Manage To Succeed But It Was Only Enough To Deactivate It For A Short Time...

Meanwhile In The Vents, Suzie Quickly Becomes The Worst Character In This Movie Because She's (Acting Like Suzie) Gotta Get Outta Here And She's Gotta Find Greg Because He Needs Her..,

Bullshit, You're In A Safe Place Get Out While You Can! Honestly, Why Do You All Love This Woman When She Plays A Character Who's An Idiot?!?

So, Getting Out Of The Vent, The Girls Land In A Hardware Store Where They Decide That If They're Going To Fight They Might As Well Go Prepared So Grabbing A Few Small Quarts Of Gas, They Molotov Cocktails So They Use Against One Of The Robots While The Boys Set A Propane Tank Trap On The Elevator For One Of The Robots To Fall Into...

With The Robot The Guys Deactivated Coming Back On-Line, Another Robot Starts Chasing The Girls But As They Hide Behind Planters, Alison Throws One Of The Molotovs At A Robot Only For It To Walk Right Through It...

Making A Run For It The Robot Starts Firing It's Lasers At The Girls As The Guys Try To Find Them But When Suzie Gets Hit In The Leg, The Robot Fires At The Molotov In Her Hand Which Sets Her On Fire, Killing Her...

Honestly, When People Are On Fire In Horror Movies Why Don't They Stop, Drop And Roll Instead Of Screaming Your Head Off Like A Moron Before You Die Either That Or Run For The Nearest Lake Of Water?

With The Guys Arriving, Linda And Alison Manage To Get Away While The Guys Hold The Robot Off But Eventually Reaching The Elevator, The Robot Goes In While Everyone Attempts To Fire At The Propane Tanks On Top Of The Elevator With No Luck But One Shot From Alison And Kaboom! Both The Elevator And The Robot Go Down...

(Imitating Rod Serling) The Next Time You Check Yourself Into Your Neighborhood Malls Elevator Be Sure You Know Exactly What You're Getting Into Otherwise You May End Up A Permanent Resident Of The Twilight Zone.,,

Hiding Out In The Restaurant Where Alison And Suzie (When She Was Alive) Works, We Get A Small Scene Of Character Development I Guess, Before Ferdy Tells Them That The Robot's Master Computer is On The 3rd Floor And If They Blow It Up, It'll Shut Down The Robots...

But When They Try To Go To The 3rd Level, Greg Goes Up The Escalator Only To Be Thrown Over The Railing By One Of The Robots

To His Death...

But As They Try To Make A Run For It To Another Escalator Another Robot Confronts Them Which Forces Them To Take Shelter Inside Of Another Store...

Taking An Escalator Inside Of The Store To Level 3, One Robot Tries To Laser His Way In While The Other One Goes To Level 3..

Relaxing, For The Moment They Come Up With A Plan To Use The Mannequins As Bait While They Shoot At The Robot...

No, Wait You Might Hit Kim Catrall!

Oops!

Firing His Laser At Them, They Eventually Reveal A Few Mirrors Behind The Mannequins Thus When The Robot Fires At The Mannequins It Causes One Of The Laser Blasts To Fire Right Back At It...

(Robot) Malfunction, Malfunction, Need Input...

But As The Robot Begins Firing Crazily One Of The Blasts Hits Linda, Killing Her, Mad About This Of Course, Rick Boards A Vehicle And Rams It Into The Robot Blowing It Up And Electrocuting Rick At The Same Time...

So, With Ferdy And Alison Being The Only Ones Left They Decide To Go Find That Computer By Splitting Up To Try To Find It, But As Alison Goes Down A Long Corridor, She Enters A Room Full Of Junk Only To Be Confronted By One Of The Robots, Ferdy Comes To Alison's Rescue As She Screams And Knocks Out The Robot's Laser...

Chasing Ferdy, He Tosses A Fire Hydrant At The Robot When He Runs Out Of Bullets Only For The Robot To Toss The Fire Hydrant Right Back At Him Supposedly Killing Him But..

(Start At 0:43, End At 0:51)

With Alison As The Only One Left, She Loses The Robot Inside Of A Pet Store Only For It To Find Her Again Once She Get Out But Climbing Down Only To Fall On A Tent, She Heads Toward A Paint Shop Where She Dumps A Bunch Of Paints And Thinners So She Can Lure The Robot Inside So She Can Blow It Up With A Flare She Got From The Hardware Shop And...

(Start At 1:38, End At 1:59)

It Works!

So, With The Robot Gone, We Discover That Ferdy Is Alive So, Him And Alison Can Live Happily Ever After And Get Our End Credits...

And That's Chopping Mall And Well, It's Bad But It's Good Slasher Fun...

I'm Not Going To Lie, Folks The Acting In This Is Horrible And The Title Is Definitely Misleading But The Kills Can Go From Dull To Freaking Awesome And Because Of That I Say See It And To Have A Nice Day While Doing It...

Until Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[thistleandthorn-rpg]

Congrats Cas on your third character, Summer Evans! Please send us her blog within the next 48 hours!

Name/Alias: Cas Preferred pronoun: She/Her Age: 24 Timezone/Country: MST RP Experience: Hella Activity Level: 6-8/10 Depending on the week

IC INFORMATION:

Name: Summer Rose Evans Designation: Switch Age: 22 Faceclaim: Lili Reinhart Birthday: May 4th Orientation: Pansexual Kinks: Still exploring Anti-Kinks: incest, age play, pet play, gore, vomit, piss play, scat, blood

BIO:

TW: Abuse, death, miscarriage, crime

Summer was overall a good kid. She maintained good grades, she was polite, caring, compassionate. She had those qualities that seemed innate to all the Evanses. So it was quite a shock when she hit her teenage years and things seemed to take a wrong turn. Of course, it’s natural for a kid to act out after losing a sibling as tragically as she did. She wasn’t equipped at age 13 to deal with that level of grief, so who could blame her for beginning to act out? And then they lost their house, all their possessions, and everything that had shaped Summer into the person she is was gone. In one of the shelters they stayed in one night, Summer met another homeless teen, Jason, and he took her under his wing. He even started at her school that year, his new foster home being in that district. They became fast friends and he taught her loads of cool things, like how to pick a lock, or how to hide small items in her pockets or up her sleeve without being caught… He was an obviously dominant personality, and she often found herself fantasizing about submitting to him. She was infatuated, and despite the fact that he taught her things like how to steal and how to cut class, she never saw him as a bad person. She was 15 when her fantasy came true, and he dommed her for the first time. The whole deal, sex included. She was in heaven. He continued to Dom her, using his influence to manipulate her into things she wouldn’t normally do. By the time she was 16, she was an expert pickpocket and shoplifter, and never once had she been caught. Meanwhile, Jason was such a charismatic and charming guy that her family suspected nothing. He was her first love and instrumental in helping Summer cope with everything, that’s what they saw in him. Through it all though, Jason never wanted to label himself as her boyfriend, or her Dom, or anything like that, despite Summer crushing hard enough to fall in love with him, despite the number of times she’d submitted to him or had sex with him, he would still only be her friend. So she thought maybe if she looked prettier, like the other girls in school, maybe then he’d let her be his. So in her first attempt at shoplifting alone, she took some make-up. She was a little overzealous, and careless, and didn’t realize she’d taken an item that had a security device on it. The alarms blared as she left the store and she was caught.

The whole truth came out, that night. How Jason had taught her this behaviour and how she was trying to impress him. Her parents were frustratingly understanding, though severely disappointed. She couldn’t look any of her family in the eye for a long time after that. She wasn’t allowed to see Jason anymore, and she missed him terribly. That made her feel more guilty because she knew, by that point, that Jason was a terrible influence in her life.

Things started to get better after Sam’s job got them a new rental house, and Summer had spent a lot of time getting back onto the right path. She’d been sentenced to 100 hours of community service for her crime, and she was grateful the court was lenient for a first offense by a minor. After high school she decided to stay home and volunteer with the church for a while, but several months into it she was reconnected with a familiar face. A face that charmed his way back into her life, all the way to a claiming institute in Kentucky where she was almost ready to wear his collar, because he’d changed and so had she and they were better people now with better morals and Summer honestly believed that right up until his drinking habit became less of a habit and more of a default state. He would become physically abusive at times, though never enough to raise suspicion of the superiors at their institute. The tipping point came when a pregnancy test came back positive and she found herself scared to tell him. That was a sure sign, she realized, that she didn’t want to spend the rest of her life with him. But what was she to do now that she was carrying his child? She kept it secret for weeks, trying to figure it all out.

And then she miscarried after he was particularly rough during a scene, and after calling Sam in tears, telling him about everything from the drinking to the shortlived pregnancy to the abuse he begged her to transfer. So she did, and this time she swore she’d never let Jason into her life again.

BIO QUESTIONS:

What is your biggest fear and why?

I’ve already had to face my biggest fear… well, one of them. I don’t think it’s healthy for a person to have only one. I guess if I had to pick… well, I’d really prefer for Jason not to find me again.

What 3 objects/places mean the most to you and why?

The campground in Leitchfield where we spent a lot of the summer while we were homeless. We made a lot of happy memories there, as a family, despite our situation.

On a piece of paper, inside a locket I keep hidden, is an inkprint of our pet squirrel’s paw I took before he died. I only thought to take one, so I keep it hidden because my siblings would all want one too and they don’t know I have it.

This one requires some context…  but one time Sam found my notebook filled with Avengers fanfiction I wrote. I was mortified, but he thought I was really good, so he managed to find some extra money on one of his paychecks from “the dairy queen” to buy a cheap, secondhand laptop off some kid at school so that I could start posting my fanfics online. I still have that laptop, and it still runs, and I still write on it. Though I’ve been doing more original stuff lately.

Who is the one person you’d most like to meet (dead or alive)?

My unborn child… ha. Or I don’t know, Stephen King?

What is the one moment you would describe as your happiest/most excited?

The day we moved into our new place after three years of living out of tents, motels, and shelters. Having a bed to call my own, and seeing Dad get back to work and mom having a kitchen to cook in again… that was a good feeling.