#And then like while looking for some place to upload writing I found fanfic

[insane-weasel]

I think as writers we should hold funerals for our WIPs more often.

Dearly beloved, gather us here today where this fic of some middle-aged man getting rawdogged and this other fanfic about the importance of friendship are laid to rest, because the author got really distracted playing that new video game.

We celebrate what could have been, cut-and-recycle those really good lines or ideas, because I swear I'm going to use them, I swear! And drag this poor document not to the great recycling bin or trash, but to the "graveyard" folder because sometimes I like to commune with the dead.

[kuebandungs]

Duty After School Imagine : 01

☆ Jo Jangsoo x Reader ☆

a/n: this is my first time writing a fanfic in English language, so let me know if there's anything wrong in my sentence or else. and, hope you all like it <3

"Take it, it's your share."

Someone's voice manages to make you turn your head. It's Jangsoo.

He handed you a canned food.

You stare at the canned food without interest, then turn your gaze back up. Staring up at the clear night sky, decorated with stars and also some purple balls that if observed is actually so beautiful.

"I'm not hungry," you reply.

Jangsoo seems to understand your attitude, so he chooses to sit next to you in front of the building where you're resting with all of your friends. Or as the Class President calls it 'home'.

"If things were different, I would have taken a picture of the current sky with my phone." These word just flowed from your lips.

Jangsoo smiled, relieved that you had started the conversation. This man had been worried about you being quiet and expressionless since the Lieutenant Lee incident.

"I like it."

Jangsoo's reply makes you look back at him. Your eyes blink a few times as you realize that Jangsoo is looking at you with a faint smile.

"Every photo you takes was always nice and beautiful."

Jangsoo wasn't lying. Since 11th grade, you and him have been in the same class. So every time you upload your pictures on social media, it always manages to make Jangsoo smile. Apart from taking the right angle of photos, he also always imagines your face when taking pictures. Jangsoo feels stunned by your expression every time you see the sky view. You're so beautiful.

"Thank you."

After that, there was only the sound of the breeze, as you and Jangsoo were busy looking at the night sky with your own thoughts.

"Let's go back inside. You should rest," Jangsoo said, breaking the silence.

"I'm not sleepy yet, Jangsoo. If you want to go in first, that's fine."

Jangsoo sighed softly, "If you feel cold, come in immediately," he said which you nodded.

--------------------------

"Alright, now that we've got our assignments, let's go."

As soon as they heard the class president's words, the students of class 12-2 immediately went to the destination according to their respective teams.

Jangsoo who was standing next to you then invited you to walk directly with the others towards the prison.

"Are you okay?" he asked when he turned around and found your face looking a bit pale.

You looked at him with a little doubt. "I just feel— it's okay. Don't mind me," you say, unable to express your feeling.

"No need to worry, we'll all be fine while we're together," Jangsoo replies, trying to calm you down.

And it works, because now you feel a little less worried. You nodded slowly, making Jangsoo smile slightly.

After a while, all of you finally arrived at the prison that Taeman had seen yesterday while cleaning the purple balls.

"Look for a circuit board-shaped device for the protophone. If you find it, give it to me or Soyoon," said Youngshin, immediately nodded by the others.

"Let's split up from here," he continued.

Jangsoo looks at you and invites you to follow him towards the building on the left side. With a wary look and weapons ready in each hand, Jangsoo and you begin to walk into the deserted building.

"This is my first time in here," Taeman says quietly in a horrified tone.

You turn around and found that Taeman dan Soyoon are behind you.

"You think it's my second time?" replies Soyoon in a lazy tone, but she still keeps a vigilant eyes on her surroundings.

After wandering around and confirming that this place was safe from orbs, they quickly searched for tools to repair the protophone as well as any objects they could utilize.

Until suddenly, there was a strange sound that was quite loud. It makes you and the others pause and look at each other confused.

"Let's go back to the first place." Jangsoo said.

After that, you and your friend left the building and gathered with the others.

"Did you guys hear it too?" Soyoon asked.

"What's that sound?"

"Is it a ball?" You asked.

"Wait, listen carefully," Heerak said.

"It's like an SOS code. Listen again," he continued.

"That's right! Is looks like someone else is here. Let's go find them!"

Then they walked in the direction the sounds came from, until they reached the basement.

You, who had been in front of Jangsoo, immediately moved closer to him.

"Is this a dungeon?" You ask quietly.

"I think so," Jangsoo replies.

You feel scared because the atmosphere in this room is kind of quiet and creepy.

"Hey! Help us!"

The shouts makes you and your friends gasp in shock. It turns out that inside there are several detention rooms filled with prisoners.

"Weren't the prisoners released this time?" You ask.

"I heard that only prisoners with minor crimes were released. In that case... those here are prisoners who have committed major mistakes, possibly receiving life imprisonment or death," says Taeman.

"Then let's just go! Don't deal with them or we'll get hurt," said Bora.

"But, it would be a shame to leave them here." Aeseol said hesitantly.

Prang!!

"Hey, damn it! Hurry up and open it! Do you have the heart to let us rot to death here?!" shouted one of the prisoners.

"Then you're just as bad as us! Sh*t!"

"Hey, shut the f*ck up! You're scaring them!"

The shouts from the prisoners scared you and the others, but you didn't show it openly, because that would make you even more threatened.

"Let's go, we can't deal with them," Jangsoo says to the others.

Staying here too long could put all of you in danger. Therefore, Jangsoo must darw to make a decision.

"Damn it!"

"Hey, let's us go!"

The shouts of disapproval from the prisoners could be heard clearly as Jangsoo, you, and your friends walked out of the room.

Once outside, you stop and look at each other. On the one hand, you feel that you can't release the prisoners, but on the other hand, you feel guilty for leaving them there to starve to death.

You deliberate, discussing with each other to get rid of the ambiguity in your feelings. Finally, you and others decide to go back inside and give the prisoners the food and drinks you bought with you all.

After that, with shouts and curses from the prisoners you come back out. All of you have decided to give your provisions, not to free the prisoners. Of course, this makes the prisoners who were initially happy because you and others came back in, now cursing because they will not be released.

--------------------------

DUTY AFTER SCHOOL IMAGINE

--------------------------

"Oh, you guys are back?"

Hana, who was guarding the basecamp, greeted the search teams with an inexplicable expression.

You walked languidly to the sofa in the room, then flopped down on the sofa. A long sigh escapes your lips.

It had been a very long day. You and your fellow search team members almost lost their lives dealing with the criminals. Suddenly you realize that there is something more terrifying than purple balls: human.

Seeing Jangsoo approaching, you change your position to sit down. He sits next to you, and you lean on his shoulder.

"I'm glad we're okay," you said.

"Yeah. How about you? Are you feeling better?" He asks, making you raise your head to look at Jangsoo's face.

"Not as scared as I was," you said softly.

"Hey, what about the protophone? You guys found it, right?" asks Joonhee.

"Damn! I forgot!" Heerak hissed.

"Huh? How come you didn't get it!" exclaimed Hana.

"Shut up! You don't know, we almost lost our lives there!" retorted Soyoon.

Hearing the commotion of Heerak, Hana, and Soyoon makes you sigh in frustration. Too dizzy with the events of earlier, you didn't realize that the man you were now leaning on was secretly harboring guilt.

-------------------------

"So, you've been manipulating the vote all this time?"

"Why are you hiding this from us!"

"I can't trust anyone anymore."

The noise caused by your friends' protests is ignored. The only thing you were paying attention to right now was the tall man who had always protected you looking down guilty in front of you.

Jangsoo, Yoojung, Ilha, and even the now-deceased Soocheol had been lying to you and your friends. They had manipulated the vote to 'survive' and 'carried out cleanup operations' until you radio/protophone were working again.

Every time they held a vote, the 'defense' succeed. But it wasn't a collective decision, it was manipulated by your four friends.

Of course, you felt very disappointed in them, especially Jangsoo. He didn't tell you about it. Obviously it makes you feel that he doesn't trust you.

Finally your friends leave, leaving Jangsoo, Yoojung, and Ilha that still looking down guilty. With slow steps, you approach Jangsoo.

"Can I talk to you?" You asked.

The three look up and stare at you. But you're only focused on Jangsoo. Without waiting for Jangsoo's reply, you immediately took his hand and led him to the front of the building.

"Explain." You stare at him with mixed feelings.

Jangsoo who had been lowering his head, is now looking right into your eyes. There is a feeling of disappointment and anger that Jangsoo can see.

"I'm sorry, I did this to protect you and the others."

You remain silent, waiting him to continue.

"We don't know if it's safe in Seoul, so we decided to keep us all here for the time being."

However, that answer did not satisfy you.

"Don't you trust me?" you ask with a sad smile.

Jangsoo rounded his eyes in surprise. Of course he trusted you, but why would you say something like that.

"Of course I trust you," he said firmly.

"But you didn't tell me anything that important."

Your defenses are broken. The tears you've been trying to hold back finally fall. Jangsoo immediately pulled you into his warm embrace.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to get involved and end up disappointing others like me. I'm sorry, I just wanted to protect you," Jangsoo said.

"You're really bad, Jangsoo."

You hug him back tightly while shedding your tears. You're disappointed, but you're also touched because of him.

[ ✓ ]

02. Soocheol >

DUTY AFTER SCHOOL IMAGINE Masterlist

[adipostsstuff]

My @milgram-valentines-exchange gift for @good-beans. Honestly I was worried about getting this finished on time but I actually got a couple of weeks to spare at the end of it. Once I got it to a fairly good standard I ended up putting it aside to focus on studies. While I'm not sure if it's as good as I want it to be, it's good enough. This is the first fanfic I finished and it's the first Milgram fic I've written (I have a Danganronpa fic I've uploaded but it's multi-chapter and really long, I need to get back onto that). Taking this from my notes app and reformatting it was hell, I hope I didn't miss anything. Hope you enjoy this and Happy Valentines Day! (Please ask me about the writing process please ask me about the writing process please ask me about-)

What a pain...

Yuno looks up from her navigation to check her surroundings. A client was going to take her to the bar in the Ritz-Carlton Tokyo and asked her to dress up for the day, so she is looking for a beauty parlour to help her get ready. It was a well paying client, so she couldn't refuse him, but it did bother her to have to mould herself into the desires of others. Whatever. She had chosen this work of her own accord, so she needs to just suck it up and do what she does best: lie and keep appearances.

Ah. This must be the place.

Yuno stands in front of parlour her phone sent her to. She pulls up the receipt from her booking and walks in.

"Excuse me," she says to the receptionist. "I have an appointment for 10:15."

"Alright. Can I have your name?"

"Kashiki Yuno."

The lady behind the desk checks some things on her computer before looking back up at her. "There you are. Would you like to come with me?" She takes her to one of the stations and settle her down. "Your stylist will be here shortly."

Yuno takes a minute to take in her surroundings. This place seems quite well run and professional, and the products high quality; not a bad deal for the cost.

"Ah, hello there. I haven't seen you before."

Yuno turns to her side to find the voice. Next to her, a woman with light brown hair and round face sat by the neighbouring station. She looked from be in her early twenties and she wore a warm smile that felt like the sun itself.

Yuno attempted to match her disposition with a smile of her own. "Yeah, this is my first time here. I'm Kashiki Yuno."

"Shiina Mahiru. Nice to meet you, Yuno-san. I come here all the time. Usually its just for advise from my beautician. She's like my closest friend right now. Today I'm going on a date, though, so I need to look my best. Even though my boyfriend never really pays attention to how hard I try for him. Hey, what are you here for?"

"I'm going to be going out to a fancy place tonight so I'm dressing up for the occasion." She leaves out a lot of details, having no interest in telling a stranger about her job. She didn't need anyone's judgement on it.

"Ooh, fancy. Is it for a date?"

"Hm? Something like that." Mahiru giggles in response.

"Found it! This one is sure to - ah! Were you two talking?" a woman on the other side of Mahiru, presumably her beautician, perks up.

"Ah, yes, we were just introducing ourselves. This is Yuno-san, it's her first time here," Mahiru answers. Yuno gives the woman an awkward wave. She sure loves talking, doesn't she?

"Hi. I'm Sayori, Mahiru-chan's beautician. Nice to meet you. Mahiru-chan, I found the thing. This one is sure to catch his eye," says Sayori, holding up a bottle of something Yuno can't identify.

"Ah, I wanna try," responds the brunette. Yuno turns back to her own desk, assuming the conversation to be over.

"Sorry for the wait. You must be Kashiki Yuno, correct?" A ginger woman in her early thirties walks to her side.

"Yes, that's me," Yuno replies.

"Oh, she's a good one. You're in amsafe hands with her," says Sayori.

"Thank you, Nanami-san. Ms. Kashiki, Is there a particular look you are going for?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe something a bit more refined?"

"Alright. First, I am going to wash your face and clean up your nails. Is that okay?"

"Sure. You would know best, after all.

"The woman, who Yuno assumes to be her stylist for the day, begins to apply a scrub to her face. It feels weird on her face, though her touch isn't too rough. She leaves it on and washes her hands before picking up a nail file and taking Yuno's hand in her own and getting to work on them.

"Hey, Yuno-san," Mahiru says, causing Yuno to face her slightly. "What do you normally like to do?"

"Oh, I like shopping and going out with my friends. I'm also part of the theatre club at school, so you could say that's also a hobby of mine."

"Theatre sounds pretty exciting. I've been to a few shows. It looks like a lot of fun."

"It is. At least I think so. Very different from watching." Yuno is pretty used to playing a part, but at least with theatre it was entirely for fun, with no one assuming anything about her based on her role.

"Ooh, maybe I should try it. There's a theatre group at my university. I'm in my final year at Aoyama Gakuin University studying literature. Me... I also enjoy shopping. I'm into fashion and astrology, and I like reading magazines and watching dramas. I mainly do running and film watching because those are my lover's hobbies."

"You just copy your lover's hobbies?"

"Oh yes. In order to have a good relationship with your partner, you must adapt to them. Relationships are about compromise."

"Yep, yep. As said in the Lain magazine, a good relationship relies on shared interests. It is important to take interest in the things your partner likes and abide by what they desire," says Sayori.

"Even so," says Yuno, "to change your lifestyle for their sake... you have to leave something for yourself, right?"

Mahiru says, "No need. I'm ready to give all of me for my lover, and I only ask for him to do the same. Say, have you ever been in love before?"

Yuno thinks. "There was this one boy I had a crush on in middle school, Haruto-kun. I wouldn't really say I was in love with him, though. So, no, I haven't been in love."

"A shame. Don't worry, Yuno-san, I'm sure it will happen to you eventually. Love is like a time bomb that will explode one day. You can't stop it from happening. And when it does, you will understand just how beautiful it is."

To Yuno, this all seems a bit idealised. She has been empty for so long she can't remember what it is like to form close bonds with people. Sure, she cares about her friends and family, but even they don't fully understand her, so she cannot truly feel close to them. For someone like her, does 'true love' really exist? "I hope so." Yuno trails off. "Say, Shiina-san -"

"Oh please, Mahiru is fine."

"Mahiru-san, then. What's your boyfriend like? You've been talking about him a lot."

She brightens up at this. "My boyfriend is a really kind person. He takes care of me really well. We get into arguments sometimes, but we always come out of it closer than before."

"Uh huh. What else can you tell me?"

"What else... Oh! Do you want to see a picture of him?"

Yuno didn’t miss how she dodged the question. "Sure." Mahiru pulls up her phone and opens up her photos, showing Yuno a selfie of her and her boyfriend smiling together. He looked somewhat plain, but still cute. They did look happy, so Yuno may be overthinking their relationship. It wasn't like it was any of her business anyways. "He looks alright."

"I know. But it's not just his looks that make me like him. He has a charming personality too."

"Haha, that's nice to hear."

"Miss Kashiki, can you lean forward?" her stylist asks, gesturing to the sink in front of her. She does so and her stylist washes her face before placing her back and wiping it with a small towel. She then picks up a foundation from a shelf. "This is the product I am going to use for your face," she says, applying it on. Yuno suspects this is a way of trying to advertise it to her. Once she is done she takes a contour pen and applies to to different pats of her face, blending them with a beauty blender. "This is how you look so far. How do you think?" The beautician turns her to the mirror. Her face looks natural, barely as if anything is there, but she still appears to be somewhat older and more mature.

"Looks good so far," she says.

"Alright." The lady picks up a book. "You said you wanted a refined look. Do you have an outfit prepared?"

"Hm, I think I do."

"OK. Describe it to me and I'll see if I can come up with something that matches." Yuno opens her mouth to reply, but at that moment a voice calls from behind her drawing her stylist's attention.

"Natsumi."

Yuno turns to see what she is looking at and finds a man with bright red hair wearing a union jack hoodie running up to them.

"Futa? What are you doing here?" the beautician, apparently named Natsumi, asks.

"Dad called. He wants to talk to you."

She sighs. "Now? I'm in the middle of an appointment."

"He says it's urgent."

"Fine. Hand it over," she groans, taking the phone from Futa's hand. "I'm sorry about this, ma'am. Stay here, Futa, I'll be back."

"I'm not staying in a beauty parlour. That's gross."

"Maybe you should. It might make you less misogynistic."

Futa stares at her in disgust as she walks away. Nearby, Mahiru's stylist whispers "I've never heard Kajiyama-senpai speak like that before."

"I'm not misogynistic. I just think girl talk is boring," Futa complains.

Yuno comments, "That sounds pretty misogynistic to me."

Futa glares at her. "And who are you?"

"Kashiki Yuno. Nice to meet you. You are..." Sayori called her stylist Kajiyama and, from them appearing to have the same father, they are probably siblings. "...Kajiyama Futa?"

He rolls his eyes. "Why are you acting do friendly with me? Its weird to talk that way to strangers, you know."

"All relationships start with strangers."

"What makes you think I want to be friends with you?"

"How rude," Sayori whispers.

"Just ignore him. He's being a jerk," says Mahiru. "By the way, didn't you say you were in school? Which year are you in?"

Relieved to change the subject, she replies, "In my final year."

"Oh, that means exams and applications and all of that. How's that coming along?" asks Sayori.

"It's a struggle, but I think I'm doing well. I go to cram school, so that should help."

"That's good to hear. What universities or courses are you thinking of applying to?" says Mahiru.

"I'm not sure. To be honest, I'm not if I even want to go to university."

"Oh, you absolutely should! It's a completely different experience from school. You get to meet so many new people and try new things in a new environment. You might even find your true love there. I believe it's worth it."

"It really isn't," chimes in Futa. "You barely learn anything and all the people there are so lame. There's no point, most degrees are useless anyways."

"Didn't you say you didn't want to be friends with us?" Mahiru retorts. Futa huffs, looking away.

"Why did you go then?" Yuno asks. Mahiru gives her a look but Yuno shrugs. I'm curious.

He sighs. "My dad made me. Said I would never get anywhere without one. Not that having one would get me anywhere. Besides, it was what everyone else was doing, and I didn't want to start working immediately or do a vocational course."

Yuno hums. "Honestly, the main reason why I'm not sure is because I don't know what I want to do with my future. I haven't thought that far ahead yet. I don't want to choose a path and end up regretting it."

"You're probably better off than me, in that case."

Mahiru says, "What I did is choose a subject I liked in school and look up universities that offered it. I knew I wanted to move to Tokyo because it's a busy city with lots of things to do..." she trails off. Did the city not live up to her expectations? She brightens back up. "So I looked into universities here that offered courses in literature, and I really liked Aoyama Gakuin's course because it's really varied. Of course, there's also admissions tests and tuition fees to think about: they weren't particularly a problem for me but I can imagine you different people have different needs. You just need to think about what's important to you."

"Nice going, Mahiru-chan," says Sayori. "Personally, I knew I wanted to be in the beauty industry, so I went to a junior college and took a course in it."

"That was really helpful. I might have a better idea now. To be honest, it's figuring out what I like that's the main issue. Most of my friends are going to different unis, so it's not like I can just follow them."

Mahiru says, "You are going to make new friends at uni anyway. What about theatre?"

"Well, I'm not sure if after 3 or 4 years I'll still like it, and I don't think I can change my course half way through. I'm really worried about not having good time. It may be a bit self-centered, but I hate things that are boring."

"That's understandable. If you really can't think of anything, why not take a gap year? You can try lots of different things in that time and decide what you enjoy the most that way."

"That's a good idea, actually. You're like a dependable older sister who sounds very wise."

Mahiru laughs. "Really? That makes me so happy. I'm an only child, but I've always wanted a younger sibling to fawn over. Maybe I'll have that chance when I have a child of my own."

"Hoping for the traditional lifestyle, are you?"

"Yep. Isn't that the ideal?"

"You know some people would call you old-fashioned for that?"

"Not a problem. It's my dream, after all."

"Well, I wouldn't put that much stock in it. I have a younger brother myself, and it's really not super exciting."

"Don't you get along with him?"

"I do, and I'm glad to have him, but he can be annoying at times. That's just how younger siblings are."

"More like older siblings," Futa mutters under his breath. Unfortunately for him, Yuno is close enough to hear.

"What was that?" she asks.

He begins, "My older sister loves to get on my nerves. Every chance she gets, she keeps interrupting me whenever I'm doing something and going on about how I should try harder in life and make real friends. When I was younger and she first started out on here, she would try to test her stuff on me. Do I look like I'd be into that girly shit?"

"Do you not like her very much?"

Futa pauses. "Somewhat. She did take care of me when I was younger, especially after mum left. It's just sometimes, she can get real grating. H-Hey, don't tell her I said any of that!" he nervously tacks on at the end.

Yuno giggles. "Don't worry. I won't. Say, did your parents get divorced as well? For me it was my father, instead."

"Really? Yeah, they did."

"Guess we are more similar than we thought."

"Don't even try that. We're nothing alike. Besides, you're probably more like my sister."

"Yeah, Yuno-san, don't insult yourself like that," Mahiru adds, which Futa tries to ignore. But Yuno could tell. While their outward appearances were very different, they had things in common. His apathetic attitude to life, his fickle and shallow relationships, all were things he shared with her. Yet in some ways they were different. He didn't hide the way he thought about things the way she did, yet he appeared to care more about what people think about him. In a way, they were like fire and ice.

"Sorry for the wait," Ms. Natsumi hurries to her side.

"My phone," says Futa, extending an arm.

"You're so addicted to that thing," she retorts, handing it back."I'm not addicted. It's the 21st century, everyone's on their phones these days. You're not in the 90s anymore."

"You say that as if I'm some old woman. You're only, what, 13 years younger than me."

"Exactly. Ancient. Besides, you flaunt that around all the time when it's convenient, so you have no right to get mad when I bring it up. Whatever, I'm getting out of this dumb place with all of it's dumb people." Futa turns away and walks out, not taking a second glance back.

Natsumi sighs. "That boy. I'm sorry if he disturbed you in any way. Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes, you were going to describe your preferred look. Would you please continue?" Yuno starts explaining what she's planning to wear. Mahiru watches her for a moment before turning back to her own stylist for her own job.

The rest of the session passes smoothly with little interruption, and by the end her stylist turns her to the mirror. "What do you think?"

Yuno watches herself in the mirror, hardly able to recognise herself. She has not changed much, but she gives off a subtly sophisticated aura. "It's perfect," she breathes.

"That's good. That would be time, so you are free to go. If you liked any of the products used today, you can purchase them at the counter. Have a nice day, I hope you come again."

"Thank you." She moves to leave, but gets stopped by Mahiru.

"Wow. You look great," she says.

"Thanks. You look really good too," Yuno says. And she did. She was given a more youthful appearance that really brought out her features in a very flattering manner.

"Thank you. I hope my boyfriend sees this as well."

"Did your session end just now as well?" asks Yuno, surprised she's still here. Mahiru was here before her, so surely her session would have ended earlier.

"Nope, ended a while back. I waited for you."

"Really? Why?"

"I wanted to talk to you again," she says, as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Are you heading to your outing now?"

"I'm going home first to change. What about you? Are you going on your date?"

"Hehe, yep. Do you live nearby?"

"Uh huh. I'm assuming you do as well."

"Yes. Hey, do you want to exchange Lines?"

"Huh? Sure, why not?" Of all things to happen, Yuno didn't expect to make a new friend here. They exchange Line numbers and Mahiru promises to keep in touch with her before leaving. Yuno stands there for a second watching her go, before turning away herself. In a sense, Mahiru was different to Yuno as well, in a way that made her similar to Futa, though neither would admit to it. They were earnest, willing to be genuine with others and trust them with their hearts, while Yuno could only lie her way through life to be accepted. If Yuno was ice, Futa would be fire and Mahiru the sun.

She walks off; she needed to get back to work anyway. Whatever friendship Mahiru thinks will come out of this, it probably won't happen. By the end of the day, they'll forget about each other. Not like her compensated dating gives any warmth either, but it's not like she can quit it now. She goes home, gets ready, lies to her family about where she's going again and heads out to another lonely luxury date with a client who will refuse to see her as she is and spend the night with her to offer her temporary warmth that will fade just as quickly as it came, leaving her empty once again.

When she arrives home that night and is about to tuck into bed, she gets a message.

Hi Yuno. How was your day?

And, for a moment, she feels slightly warmer.

[muddyorbsblr]

ohh hey it's the last day of 2022

first of all, when the fuck did that happen??

There was so much that happened in the last year I could've sworn some of them happened in 2021, but apparently not…? It's honestly so hard to believe that when this year started, I was in a different mindset, a different community, struggling AF to get anything going creatively, and frustrated to the high heavens as a creator because I felt…well, I felt alone.

And that was how it felt for the first 8 months of the year. I felt like I was pushing this impossibly heavy rock up a steep mountain with no hopes of ever actually getting anywhere because I was in a community that gave such elitist vibes that even though I'd been there for 2-3 years, I still felt like an outsider. Surrounded by people who internally held you to this grading scale and only if you reached a certain "score" with them would they think that you're "worthy" of a like and comment.

Honestly there was a time I uploaded a video every day for two months and all I got was silence, and while I never gave a fuck about the numbers, admittedly it would have been nice to even get a "wow i loved this!" from the people who called me "one of their closest friends in the community". Like…you say that the love is there but…I don't feel it? And honestly being 'friends' with people like that felt a lot like this:

And then a shift happened, and I somehow found myself back here on Tumblr looking up Loki fan fiction because I'd just started simping over Tom Hiddleston full force and there's a warm fuzzy feeling I get from reading fanfics that never went away, and reading them again somehow felt like finally coming home.

I gotta admit though, I lurked for a few months. 🤡

Started off just reading stuff and not saying anything, then leading to me leaving likes on masterlists so that I could come back to them and go through them one by one, and I didn't do much besides that for a few weeks. And then I saw a post about how comments and reblogs kept the authors that we love motivated to keep on making stories for us, so I gave my trauma from bad interactions in previous communities a resounding 'fuck you' and began to comment. And then that led to me reviving this blog of mine so that I could reblog those stories to share them with all 40+ of my followers at the time who I knew would get whiplash because I'm not posting about Markiplier anymore.

All those little efforts culminated in me joining in on a thirst train that ended up rekindling my love for creating stories, which led to 'what's today again?' and I gotta be honest, I thought that was all I had in me. But then idea after idea came and I kept on writing stories, and suddenly we're here…a little over three months later, and those 40+ strangers who couldn't care less about what I was posting on this account became nearly a thousand (???) that saw the work I was putting out on the internet and actually enjoying it and telling me that they enjoyed it.

Suddenly I have friends again that I love talking to and that I want to give back the love that I receive from them with everything I've got. Talking with people about things that I love and not feeling like I'm being a burden to them (which is honestly the biggest thing for me 🥹). It's because of all of them that I'm looking forward to seeing what 2023 has in store because I'm surrounded by people who care the same way that I care, and we all get to be weird and thirsty and horny together.

So here's to the people who saved 2022 for me. For turning not only the year but my life as a whole around, for being there to talk to about literally anything, and for creating a place where I felt safe enough to start sharing parts of myself that I'd had locked away for years. Honestly, I never thought I'd be sharing my writing with anyone ever again, but I'm really glad that I had y'all to encourage me and tell me to keep going, and that it definitely wasn't going to be the death of me if I began creating a story about Loki falling in love with Thor's daughter ����

Here's to 2023. May it be filled with many laughs, thots, and mangoes.

@lokisgoodgirl @mygfloki @sarahscribbles @give-me-a-moose @mochie85 @fictive-sl0th @gigglingtigger @kikster606 @xorpsbane @mischief2sarawr @wheredafandomat @ijuststareatstuffhereok89 @simplyholl @joyful-enchantress @lokiprompts @cake-writes @holymultiplefandomsbatman @loopsisloops @michelleleewise @vbecker10 @holdmytesseract @thedistractedagglomeration

[ao3commentoftheday]

After a long time I have returned to a fandom that I have been in years ago and started writing a very long fanfic (100k+) for it. It's not done yet and I'm not going to start uploading until it's done (because it's just the first draft right now) but I am excited because I never wrote something this long before. The problem is something I remembered from one of your posts, about community. I would love to talk to other people in this fandom and such but I have found that the people who are now in this fandom are the types of people I'd rather not interact with for various reasons (they make me uncomfortable). It just feels very lonely. I'm writing this huge thing (that I'm very proud of and really want to finish) while yearning for community but I can't seem to find it and the attempts I have made did not have great results. I'm scared that in the end only this fanfic will be my chance to get the interaction I crave and if that doesn't work either, I'll lose my love for the thing I have returned to and my fanfic.

*hugs* When it comes to community, there are various ways to find it. You're writing a fic for a particular fandom, so it makes sense that you'd look there first. But since that fandom isn't the type of community you'd like to involve yourself in, you'll need to look somewhere else instead.

Writing groups can be a great source of community if you'd like to share in the highs and lows of the story writing process. The other writers don't need to be familiar with your fandom in order to empathize with your writing or your process, and they might be able to provide the kind of support you're looking for.

You could also look to multi-fandom hubs like r/fanfiction on reddit or panfandom discord servers. Making friend with people who have similar values to your own and an understanding of fandom as an overarching culture might fill the gaps that you're currently feeling.

And if you're comfortable, sharing what you're doing with your IRL friends and family can be really rewarding too. Most of my friends know that I write fic even though none of them are particularly active in fandom themselves. Some of them know about this blog or my tiktok too. They don't know the ins and outs of AO3 or fandom, but they do know and care about *me* and they cheer me on or listen to me when I'm struggling and that's honestly enough a lot of the time.

Where do the rest of you go to find community when your particular fandom isn't the place you want to go? Feel free to share links or resources in the reblogs and replies!

[kj-writes-random-shit]

Earl Grey Cookie x Male!Reader: The Tea Party (UNFINISHED)

HI!! This is an unfinished fanfic that I made back in… June? I think?? Well, I fell out of love with cookie run, so I never finished this. But, I felt like uploading this to you guys, so that you could see how shit my writing was!!

Plot: Earl Grey wants to have a nice break from the grandmaster hotel and taking care of the Chess Choco Twins, so why not have a tea party with his amazing boyfriend?

Side Notes: Unfinished Fanfic, Earl Grey calls his Boyfriend his prince as a pet name, Everyone is human but still has their cookie names, Earl Grey adopted the Chess Choco Twins, The Reader has his own rented room in the grandmaster hotel, Both of the chess choco twins are agender and use they/them pronouns, The chess choco twins call Earl Grey ‘dad’ and [Reader] ‘father’, and the Chess Choco Twins are homeschooled.

[Reader] stretched his aching back while yawning. He rubbed his eyes, and lazily opened them. He then stood up from his soft and cozy bed made from the purest of cotton, and went to his dresser and pulled one of the drawers open. He looked through the clothes, only for [Reader] realize that all of the good looking clothes that were stored in his dresser were dirty and currently going through the process of being washed. He groaned, and went to his closet to look for something decent to wear.

After what felt like ages of searching, he finally found something to wear. It was a beautiful [Favorite Color] tuxedo paired with dress pants that both glistened as soon as he looked at it, as if the tuxedo was calling for [Reader] to wear it. It was a gift given by Earl Grey as a one year anniversary gift for them dating.

‘Woah. I am so glad I have a boyfriend to give me stuff like this.’ [Reader] thought to himself. He grabbed to tuxedo and took it out of the closet, but then quickly stopped himself. “Wait, shouldn’t I save this for a special occasion? Eh, who cares? Let’s just hope that Earl Grey magically wants to take me out on a fancy date so that this tuxedo won’t go to waste.” [Reader] said.

He put the tuxedo on, and then went up to the full body mirror he kept in his room to see how it looked on him. “Huh, I don’t look half bad.” [Reader] said smugly. He smirked while putting his hand to his chin. “Well, can’t admire myself forever. Let me leave to go find Earl Grey.” He remarked. He walked out the room before quickly realizing something.

“Ah, I never put shoes on. Lemme go put on those dress shoes.” [Reader] went under his bed to grab his dress shoes that Earl Grey had, coincidentally, also got him and put them on. “Okay, now I am finally ready to leave.” [Reader] said proudly. He then opened his door, and then exited his room to go look for Earl Grey.

——

Earl Grey had just finished getting some more guests into their rooms, and he then went off to go look his boyfriend. He then bumped into the Chess Choco twins. ‘Ah, it's them.’ Earl Grey thought to himself.

“Dad! Let’s play Chess!”

“Dad, can we play chess?” The two asked out of their dad.

“Not now you two, I know you just got out of school and finished your homework and you need something to do, but I’m currently looking for your father. But, I promise I’ll play with you two later.” Earl grey informed the twins.

“Awww, Just one game! It’ll be quick!” “Our game of chess will be brief.” The chess choco twins begged.

Earl Grey sighed. “Alright, I’ll play one game. Only one game though.”

The twins cheered out of excitement (mainly Pawn White), then the twins dragged their dad over to a table with a chessboard on it. The pieces were already placed correctly. The twins then sat down on the left side of the table, while Earl Grey sat on the right.

‘Oh dear, I am in for one hell of a ride…’

Even though Earl Grey said that he’d only play one game, he’s already played about nine, and he lost every single one. His eyes are sore, his glasses are sliding off of his face, and all he can think about is his boyfriend. He doesn’t care about chess anymore, he just wants his sweet prince to save him from this nightmare. The twins then exclaimed checkmate, showing that they just beat Earl Grey AGAIN. “Well, my amazing and sweet children, I must leave now. I’ve had fun, but I must now go look for [Reader].” He informed the twins.

“C’mon, why not one more game?”

“One more round can’t hurt, right dad?” The twins pleaded.

“Sincerest apologies, but I must go.”

“Just one more ga-!”

“I. MUST. GO.” Earl Grey fumed, while running away from the two.

He eventually went outside to the garden at the back of the hotel, where he found [Reader]. He was relieved and felt like it was a blessing to see him again. “My dear prince, I am so happy to see you! You have no idea what I have went through today.” Earl Grey proclaimed. [Reader] tilted his head out of confusion. “Umm, Earl Grey, you’re acting more enthusiastic than usual, you ok?” [Reader] had question. “Ah, my sweet precious prince, I am perfectly fine! The twins just begged me into playing hour long games of chess is al-!”

“Yep, you only act enthusiastic whenever you get out of a stressful situation.” [Reader] pointed out.

“Heh, you are correct, my lovely prince. It was not just one game, not three, but nine games of chess. It was… Horrid. I can’t even describe the terror that was going on-!” Before Earl Grey could finish, [Reader] had given him a quick kiss.

[kdsburneraccount]

pressing the ‘more observations from the men’s basketball rpf tag’ button

(Spins in chair like Dr. Evil and strokes chin) I am much obliged to answer this ask 🧐 One thing that stands out especially compared to a couple of other Sports RPF fandoms is just the sheer amount of Chinese fanworks under the tag (checked and it makes up about ⅓ of the works, which is a pretty big portion, pretty sure with other sports it's a lot less than that). I'm willing to attribute that to how popular basketball is in China, and because of how large that fanbase is, there probably are more than a few people out there writing fic in Chinese 😎 This part is more "me extrapolating this detail into a more meta-y thing" than an actual observation but I do see that a large amount of those fics in Chinese are either Not Rated, Explicit, or Mature. I believe that the high amount of Not Rated probably has something to do with being kind of vague about the contents of the fic in question, perhaps because Chinese fans are accustomed to that manner of posting (reminiscent of the olden days of fandom? Probably) due to censorship and whatnot. In general in Chinese fandom it does seem like AO3 is viewed as the black market for fic, where the darker and more explicit subject matter can be uploaded without fear of getting taken down compared to other sites that are mainly used in mainland China. Especially since AO3 has been blocked in China for a while, I remember one author mentioning it in their notes. It's kinda interesting to consider, because it shows how fandom can vary depending on location, especially in places that have different cultural (or governmental?) norms from the US. I've translated a couple of Chinese fics because I do speak it, I'm not the best at reading but I manage, and I'd say that some of them are pretty interesting. A couple premises I found sort of fascinating:

Multichapter fanfic that had Rudy Gobert and Donovan Mitchell team up as police officers to track down Ricky Rubio, who is apparently some kind of smuggler (They fall in love along the way, of course, and there are a variety of shenanigans that ensue). Also includes Frank Kaminsky, for reasons I do not know, as a well-meaning but pretty dumb rich kid. It's incomplete and I don't know if the author will ever update but it was one of the first NBA fics I read on AO3 that stood out to me, so I do have a very rough translation of it (read: used Google Translate) in my Docs. Would say that it's definitely a wild ride, maybe one day I will share with the author's permission.

This one PG/Kawhi fic that was about them as workers in an aquarium, where PG is an actor in the mermaid show they run and Kawhi owns the aquarium. I actually translated it, felt like a lot of the prose didn't need a lot of tweaking to work, but then again it's been a year since then so looking back might actually be kind of rough but anyways...

But yeah, there are some other things like the Spanish fanfic that I'm not super well-versed on, would assume that's to do with the popularity of those players, but those are some interesting things I've seen under the tag.

[cow-legs]

Of course it does feel a little silly to make big update posts about how im burned out and am trying to take a break from drawing right in the middle of a time where im uploading new art more relatively consistently than i have in a very long time it feels like but i guess it was still important to make the distinction, between things that i enjoy drawing and can keep doing vs things i dont enjoy doing at all and need to stop immediately, just for my own sake.

Openly telling people "yuuup i'm not going to be drawing anything other than super basic shit from now on for a long time" means that whenever i think of drawing anything post-worthy i know i will feel silly for posting it after saying that, and from there if i still decide to go through with it anyway it was probably something i actually wanted to draw and enjoyed doing while if this thought made me self conscious enough to not go through with it then it was probably something i wanted to draw only due to impulsive obligation rather than something i wanted to spend time making just for the fun of doing it so the spell gets broken. So its a functional enough system, i guess.

&now that this distinction has been made in my brain i can spend more time doing shit i actually enjoy instead of letting it get beaten out by the things i "should" be working on every time

Putting my foot down and going "no, i am not going to keep forcing myself to do detailed clean lineart on even more detailed sketches when i get much more enjoyment out of just doing really rough and simple shit instead" after i have found myself independently coming to realizations about what kinds of art just suck the life out of me over and over again and then just disregarding these realizations every single time to go back to the shit that kills me because "well this is how you normally do it" or "this technically looks nicer, in some aspects" and finally just fucking forcing myself to stop doing that is probably overall more helpful to my mental health than just forcing myself to stop drawing altogether when thats a drastic move that may or may not be the actual solution. Now i am finding and re-learning ways to create things that don't make me feel like i am a walking corpse so i think i will take the feeling of thinking i look a little silly for seemingly disregarding my big life updates over never having found these things out for myself at all any day.

I don't really know why i feel like making update posts in the first place when to be honest i dont think it really matters, people arent paying me for any of this and i stopped feeling "sorry" for "not posting enough" or such things as that a long time ago so it's not like i feel any kind of legitimate need to tell people about what my status is creative-wise. But i guess a large part of it is just that i like talking and have a lot of things to say but for various personal reasons have no desire to post 99% of these thoughts publicly so it's the like rare chance i get to actually start saying shit on any of my art accounts that is actually relevant to the subject at hand without crossing my own boundaries and saying more than i am comfortable with

It is a little weird feeling writing update posts though because i dont really know how to word them in any way that doesnt come off as a fanfic authors note going "sorry its been a whole 20 minutes since the last update i got mugged and all my money was stolen and he broke my leg also but im trying my best to write more despite this" like girl focus on the mugging not this shit. When in reality i actually dont care very much about providing Content as much as the hypothetical fanfic author i just felt the need to say something because why not and didnt know how to word it in a way that makes me not come off like that. which is how you get this i guess. anyway i already forgot what the point of this post was i guess i just wanted to say some shit. which tracks i suppose.

The moral of the story or some shit i guess is that even if you are not doing art as a job it can still end up feeling like one and killing your creative spirit like one would and you need to be able to identify when this is happening and what things you dont actually want to create even though you feel like you "should" so you can kill these practices before they kill you

or something like that

I dont really care about having a point here i wrote this at 2 am

i just like talking

[makahimetenshi]

Two separated ways - Chapter 5 - Arthur Maxson x Female Sole Survivor x Paladin Danse Fallout 4 Fanfic

This is the continuation of the fifth drabble called How i meet your mother and the story of how Arya Maxson was conceived which originally comes from my drabbles uploaded in Two separated ways, and I might do a fifth and six part even. Im already writing the fifth part, it was a mistake to separate the porn chapter from the normal one since I have so much borderline anyway.

If you are very very very delighted with one fic and want a continuation I didn’t write or post you can donate me at least $5 bucks, most of this fics have next chapters I don’t finish because lack of motivation but hey a $5 is a $5, I see a few reviews and comments that fics that are abandoned months laters receive comments of wanting to know what happens next. Here it is, I finished my handling with you all, enjoy the fic

Its been days since his “negotiation” with Sentinel Nora and they haven’t spoke to each other at all. She was around walking and working in DC, in the Citadel, but didn’t talk to him at all, and he neither do honestly.

They cross looks sometimes but nothing more. Maybe he dodget a bullet like Dane said, maybe he  avoided a redflag by pulling out, of course it wasn’t intelligent from his side to…agree.

It wasn’t something a gentleman do but he used her, that’s the simple true, tricked her just for sex and then never call again, not even for that dinner.

Until a week later he found on his schedule a reunion with the Sentinel, she booked on his calendar…

One week later he found himself nervous to see her again, specially after well not giving her his part of the agreement, it wasn’t neither specified what was the subject of the reunion, the motive…but in any case he put on his best underwear last night after a shower, just for…precaution.

The door was open by his guards and the sentinel in her black suit appeared, with a laser rifle on her back and…and odd and horrible smell

-Oh my god its it molerat blood? –ask Arthur seeing the wet stains on her suit, she nodded –what happened?

-Under the bridge 100 mts above there’s no raiders anymore taking it every fucking time we clean it because we left mines  on the floor…but when some fool trespass the warning signs and explodes the scattering parts attracts  molerats- yeah he recognized the smell of that creatures blood, kinda special, he rag his nose a bit trying to unsuccessfully hide his discomfort at the smell while she serene talked- difficult to believe or not the molerats knows better how to avoid the traps than the humans, so the place gets  infestated of molerats eating between the mines, they spread diseases so better to fumigate the place time by time

The smell in the air was becoming umbereable to keep breathing, he cant hide anymore his discomfort and wasn’t planning in hiding it anymore to keep decorum nono he was too old for that

-Sentinel you should bathe first and then we have the reunion, Ill move…

-Indeed, I heard the elders quarters have a big and comfortable bathtub  -he stop in his place at hearing that, she had such a serene face  while talking but then it was all silence and he look at her and she has a small red smirk  in her lips.

Did she just…? Ohhhhhhh

He stood there in silence, he was hella surprised and taked off guard and she was there so confident and serene.

Like flirting to the elder in his quarters was nothing to worry about.

And heck yeah it was working! Sure…sure…

-What can I say? The rank has its benefits- he mumble, noticing he has been standing there a while without moving because the position on his feets hurts. Both were adults and he gets flustered like a teen around her when she moks him-Sure, ill prepare the water…make yourself comfortable –he said trying to hide his nerviosism, damn he was a prey under her control, difficult to resist and think at all…

-Yeah this boots takes a lot of time to take off, we don’t wanna have them on again don’t we? –Arthur  quickly ran to the bathroom at hearing that mermaid call and open the  water, staring to mix it with the hot and cold to make it comfortable even tho that womans bathe in hot water.

Okay okay she was going to try again…he supposed this could happen…an he was glad it was happening honestly, he had good time, but it worries a bit being so unsure of her intentions…

He sat at the edge of the tub and look at the water filing and raising level, then breath out getting lost in his thoughts while he unlaced his own boots with his fingers too, after all better get prepared.

She wanted to get impregnated…and he wasn’t so sure about it, so soon with someone he knows too little, of course he was going to pull out again, will she allow it? She should know he wont cum inside today no matter if she purposely seeks for it again, or even pleads, but the sentinel is too successful and has too much pride to even think on pleading, nono, there’s something else in her head, she knows he is not going to cum inside today or in some near future then…why? What are her intentions?

What’s her plan? She is not exactly looking for just a partner…

Of course cuming outside its not a warranty that she isn’t going to get pregnant, he is well aware of that, she could get pregnant just by doing it despite cuming outside, and doing it a second time knowing it puts his head in conflict, he…well doesn’t exactly likes the idea of being pressured by the council to have a son but the sentinel is a great match for that purpose, so a child with her wasn’t exactly the problem, if it happens with her well…nothing to waste I guess. But the reality was scary, having a child with a woman he doesn’t know her intentions and even was warned about her odd behavior by the man who spend the last 10 years at her side…

Her reputation, achievements, resources, wealth, education and history in the brotherhood makes her a perfect fit for him, the partner someother will say he deserves…the part that she was a faction leader and someone apparently very rich…also her plans  of possessing the Tempenny tower heck yeah she already ran the business of the Pittsburg forge!

Oh no everything sounded so good but he was so aware that it was dangerous, maybe it was his dick talking…

-Elder –a pair of arms hug him from behind, the man was so startled by being lost in his own thoughts that he slipped from where he was sitting and fell completely into the water of the bathtub, also pushing Nora who fell on top of him, both getting soaked, specially the elder with his coat.

-Jesus Christ don’t do that! –said a very altered elder looking around still very disorientated how did she sneak so perfectly!? Didn’t hear her at all!

But Nora didn’t seem to mind about his distress and confusion, in fact…

-Oh im so sorry elder –she said getting on top of him moving her legs around his hips placing an arm at his side using the floor of the bathub as support and the other arm at the side of his head against the wall. Arthur look at her with some…surprise…terror…she didn’t seem bothered by getting wet at all. Subhuman. –I just wanna ask you if you could give me a hand with the zipper of my suit, seems a bit stuck

The man blinked and swallowed hard.

But it’s a front zipper…

Bold, a bold move, even he wouldn’t do it, and she had so much confidence!

Was she really rejected by Danse? She acted like someone who was never rejected before…

His body was completely submerged in the water while at their bare feets the water from the tap keep falling.

Still in shock he tried to move his shoulders, his coat felt so heavy now soaked…

-Only if you help me with my coat –the way she smiled at him made a cold shiver run on his spine, would she really allow him to cum outside? The sentinel wasn't the type of person who stopped when she didn't get what she wanted.

Slowly, like she wanted to keep his eyes on her, she sat on his hips moving her thighs slowly backwards, raising her chest while her hands moved to his neck and shoulders, holding on the edges of the now soaking coat –you got me all wet elder –she said with a velvety whisper, his cheeks blushed so hard at hearing it, it sounded so hot-its only fair I do the same

He bite on the insides of his cheek and his hands posed on her thighs, squeezing a bit under the water, loving the sensation of the suit so stretched against her skin, then moved up to her stomach touching everywhere, giving her tickles when they leave the water, and then all the way up the zipper to her neck.

-I mean it seriously –he said placing some fingers on the zipper and the other hand completely surrounding her neck, feeling it very thinn, looking directly on her eyes- don’t ever try to scare me again sentinel –she swallowed understanding the menace, and nodded

-Alright –she said now pushing the coat down his shoulders, the man watched the slow motion and then the hand on the zipper moved down, showing her bare chest and this time…she had a bra, oh my didn’t he said something about the appropriate way of dressing? Good she take notes.

Later on, he pulled out again.

But she didn’t say anything about it, just dry with a towel coming out the bathub, dress and leave like nothing happened, the fact that she didn’t say anything was important, not word, just dress with a small smile…and leave.

Oh he knew she was planning something, he didn’t understand what yet

Should he ask Danse?

But the sequence repeated again, and they sleep together, well not exactly sleep because they did it in the food storage of the ring B exactly…oh its hard to keep a boner in the cold environment, and she didn’t even cum, she just swallow his seed down her throat…

I mean it was expected because there wasn't much they could do in there, it wasn't a comfortable place but he was hella surprised for the fact that she…swallow, he didn’t even get the chance to touch her because she was there pulling his underwear down to blow him by her own initiative.

Was she really that into him? He thought she only wanted to get pregnant and that’s all but today they crossed looks in a hallway totally by coincidence, walked towards each other after holding gaze at far for more seconds they were proud  and she…suggested…to hold his hand…and he grab it and move the woman somewhere else, they ended up making up all the way until getting inside the food storage.

When he heard the swallow the hand behind her head tangled between her black locks moved to her chin, holding it, moving her head slowly up

-Look at me –he order, and she did, locking their eyes together. Doesn’t she look amazing? With her eyes red and watery- Do you mind if we still have that dinner I mentioned the first time?

She looked…surprised, and cute with her cheeks red.

-Oh –from a brief moment he saw what apparently was shame in the moment she moved up a hand to clean a string of saliva going down her mouth- yeah okay

The same answer hu?

-Up –again he order, and she did, when she was standing in front of him he placed both hands under her cheeks and deeply kiss her, tongue going inside and everything, tasting himself in her saliva, playing with the tongue that satisfied him a few moments ago. The kiss intensified until both needed to separate for breathing, even him broke the kiss to gain some air but smiled satisfied at seeing her shaking her legs  -ill wait for you in my quarters at 9 to dinner, there’s something you want I should know?

-I like pasterys, I steal some donuts from the kitchen a few times and they were delicious

Silence, he looked at her kinda pissed off.

-Those were my donuts –at hearing that she laughed a bit- I specially order the 6 box for me –well well that’s why some of his orders came with 5 donuts instead of 6!

-You could give me the name of the baker and we are good

-Oh im giving you something else tonight –at saying that she froze with a small  unprepared shy smile, was that surprise? Did she also liked it daring and bold?

-Ill dress for the occasion then

-Inside my quarters comfortable and simple

-Better than the flight suits

At hearing that, now he blushed

At 9 Nora was in his door wearing a Casual outfit and he open the door wearing…a Bathrobe

-Food just arrived –he informed happy to see her laugh  to his very thoughtful outfit

-What is this a naked man? –she said laughing but then catch the fact that he didn’t get it –you know It is said to work 2 out of 3 times…-still he apparently didn’t get it, maybe he didn’t do it because of that- never mind it’s a prewar joke

-Don’t have me standing in my undies in public in front of the sentinel please –she went inside the room an close the door, doing a bold move to stand on her toes and kiss him in the cheek, just that, leaving the man stupid and frozen in his place- can we eat first? Its still warm and the drinks…

-Sure –she said with a very…nice, really nice smile, Arthur liked that smile.

Each one sat on their side of the table, Nora the first thing she did was serve them both a little whiskey.

-Glad we are talking –he said with confidence, he felt confident, like this was going really…well…confusing, but good, felt comfortable around such a beautiful woman, she had a strong presence that gives the idea of eating men up but at least him was growing comfortable around, at least what he can manage.

Or maybe he was imagining things from pure lust.

-So you are the type of guy who cool his whisky? –she ask at feeling the bottle cold.

-Not exactly, I just didn’t know how you like it and cool it in case of anything.

-Mmm i prefer to drink it at room temperature

-Strong

-Yeah –she smiled and then pick up her knife to cut on her Ribeye steak

-I have a doubt –he says and she looks at him, eating- how are you planning to buy the Tenpenny Tower? Allistair was 80 when I was 10, im surprised he lived until now

-For strange it seems I don’t, I know people who surpassed that age –the man raised an eyebrow confused also picking his knife- lets just say I have the paperwork done already

-I don’t get it

-Do you want to enter in details? –mmm maybe not, not dinning, he denied with his head.

-Im just surprised, even I don’t have my life planned like that to retire

-Do you plan to retire?

-Well no

-What if i…-a hand sneak in the tablecloth picking up one of his hands all suddenly, the hand with a knife- bought your retirement elder?

Silence, but despite everything she keep composure, she keep her smile.

-I don’t think that would be easy at all, im a Maxson –she keep smiling at him, in silence, no, he wasn’t ready for this conversation, too green, didn’t trust her enough

-You may be right, I would need more years of savings for another person retirement, it took me a lot to secure mine

-But are you planning in keeping the Tenpenny Tower as a residential place?

-The old gag made it his business until now, I think is a pretty solid model, self-sustainable, also I like places were people can be…just people…ill keep it that way

-You said you had a rich family back then doesn’t? –she nodded, chewing on her steak-why did they do for living?

-My grandfather owned the Grey Tortoise company

Arthur cutlery fall from his hands at hearing that completely shocked

-You are kidding –she raised her shoulders, didn’t expect such surprised reaction, she didn’t think he would recognize that name.

-No, im not

-The cigarette company? –she nodded, keep eating- no fucking way

-I had nothing to do with  my father heritage, that was all for my brothers –Arthur picked up his cutlery again and cut on his meat- after all he had a football team as family, didn’t exactly need another lawyer on his accounts, pay my career and weeding to keep me away from the company

-Wait you said your father was a politician –he asked recomposing and starting to eat.

-Yes, when my first brother turned 15 he introduced him to the company, trying to make him heir, never giving him any money that he wasn’t producing by his own work, there’s a big age difference between my brothers and me, I was the last and only daughter –she sighted, it wasn’t never easy talking about this- when 3 of my brothers started doing profit on the company my father moved to the politics, confident that they would do a good job at keeping our fortune so he can explore other fields, and apparently they did with his guidance because the other 4 brothers were working full time on the family company doing profits in no time

-Sounds like the whole family was compenetrated with making money –well Nora also had the spark for business and making money apparently, runs on her family.

-It took them their youth, I had my son when I was 34 without any hurry enjoying at maximum my marriage,  none of my brothers had wives, their lifes were just the company or my father politics career to make money, none had children, I was the first one in the family to give my father a grandchildren, his legacy fall on my son shoulders…that didn’t last much of course – Well the bombs, they took your land and now you're left all alone.

Not precisely alone, she had her family, until…she didn’t have it anymore

So she has an inherited and completely  natural talent for business, lit.

-And your last name Howard?

-From my husband Nate, my father introduced us, both meet in campaign for the war and we fell for the other instantly, we stick together a lot of years before my son –she said still eating on her steak

That is nice, getting to know each other over time, she wasn’t giving him the same treatment but he understand that she is running out of time to having a baby…

-Well I dont have much memorys of my mother and father but they were pretty important too –said Arthur drinking a bit on his whisky

-Its clearly not the same picture –she said trying to laugh a bit for the ridiculous

-For the money?

-No, our childhoods at least were completely different

-What do you mean?

The woman left the cutlery on the plate with a very loud noise and a face of disgust.

-I was in the top notch of the world  and then the world goes boom boom, and you…well never actually knew any better than this.

There it was, the things Danse mention. She hates everything. Despises the wastelands

-I carry with pride the  education I have because even if I didn’t experience it I knew that some time ago there was…a better –he said chewing on his food, not exactly pissed from the conversation, just chatting

-I suppose the history  is the better the wastelands can offer to people –Nora realized she was breaking the good mood of the night by whining so much about something so broad and abstract like life itself so she just take another sip of whisky and shut the fuck up but before…she realized something else, one last time, she needed this out of her chest like a need, a huge realization-we are kinda the last ones of our lineages doesn’t?

Nora realized not even her son was the last one, but her.

Arthur open his eyes and stop in his place, he was about to eat a piece of meat and…

It was true.

Of course hers wasn’t as important for the history as him but…

-But we are doing the best this world can offer us to not disappoint our forefathers

Silence, she closed her eyes and sighted, taking some seconds to think with her eyes in the darkness- You are doing a good job elder

He smiled.

-Please, call me Arthur –he said drinking on his glass of whisky.

-Will you call me Nora?

-Well it would be weird calling the mother of my child for her title doesn’t? impractical at least

Hearing that make the woman blush, sheeeeeeeez, didn’t expect it, she drink her full glass and then pick up the bottle to serve some more with a smile looking elsewere.

-Slowdown Arthur – oh that was his name on her lips, it sounded…good - we still have the dessert – she said with her red lips against the edges of the glass

If the two of them procreate and have a child…both were going to join and save their heritages. Well, Noras one was fucked up and pretty much loose all except for what she built until now but his…He had time but she…was running out time.

-Hows dinner then Nora? –he ask with a smile seeing her laugh.

-Better than Grilled radroach for sure 

-Nothing hard to beat then, I have a box of  Fudge fusion donuts so this time you can ask and not steal from me

-Who says im the type who ask for things? –she say that as a joke but for some reason it disturbed a bit the man making his eyebrow twitch as he bite on his meat.

That’s right, he didn’t know her that much. Lets not forget that.

After a while, Nora was clearing the table and gathering the dishes from the small dinner they had. Arthur was looking for the box of donuts and some paper napkins.

-Leave them in the bathroom, ill clean later –she nodded, the image of her in that casual outfit carrying the dishes give him a strange feeling of peace he never felt before, she looked like one of that prewar posters of the perfect wives.

She obeys without saying much, Arthur was preparing the table again until he look behind his back and there she was, looking at him directly stranding.

-Im sorry, I wanted to surprise you and then I remember what you say

-Yeah –he sat, patting on the chair next to him for her to sit-its because im the elder, im not allowed to relax and low my defense, you are really lucky that I didn’t knock you down that day

-You couldn’t knock me down even if you wanted –she say that joking but then pay attention and he wasn’t playing

-I mean it, its not a game for me, im prepared for an attack all times, my position is very important and a lot of people rely in my safety to keep the brotherhood on…

-Alright, I understand, its really that instinctive to have a bad reaction? –Nora sat on the chair next to him

-I could hurt you badly, because of my training to save my life in any case I will not hesitate –he didn’t exactly know if he was opening up because he felt…nice around or menacing her, stating some points, the warnings Danse gave him come to his mind now he was unsure of what his posture was around her. It confuses him, in one note he was comfortable and in another he didn’t know anything or why was she doing this.

-Then I suppose I should make you keep your eyes on me –she said placing a soft hand on his knee, just his naked knee.

He froze, and smiled nervous, getting aroused  with a very heavy heat in his chest all suddenly.

-I wont loose you from sight for sure

She was very flirtatious, maybe to seduce him, dindt actually know her that much to know if she was like that with Danse. For what he understand, she persued him in a very pitiful way and didn’t work, was this a new fenme fatale method? Using all her charms at all cost?

Damn he should really talk to him.

Both started to eat their donuts talking, just talking, it was nice to chat, but it was pretty obvious that on both sides they were closing distances, sitting up better and accommodating themselves to get closer to each other.

In no time they were making out, tasting the chocolate chips into the others mouth, savoring the crumbs on the others tongue, feeling the greasy texture of frosting in the walls of their mouths. When stealing the others breath Nora lean her back against the table, but Arthur quickly stand up and pick up her hands up to his chest.

-What…?-she ask with a smile and a few chocolate crumbs in the side of her mouth.

-We have the bed this time –for some reason her entire face shine, and stand, Arthur guided her hands to the bed but she was the one pushing him to sit in the mattress soon enough, holding on his shoulders loosing the bathrobe down his back, using these for support at the same time that her legs were positioned next to his thighs to sit on top.

-Do you want me to sleep here tonight? –she ask leaning her head to a side to take her hair out of the way.

-Im not letting you sleep –the woman breath in and bite on her lip, leaning down to kiss him deeply on the lips. Arthur corresponded to intensify the kiss more.

They spend the night, and this time, sleep together, at least a bit, until it was five and she wanted to get out from his quarters so nobody can see her walking so close.

Again, he pulled out, but this time they shared bed, his bed.

When she closed silently the door he keeps looking in direction were she disappeared, like he was missing something.

What were her intentions?

This situation had been dragging on.

He was very aware of what her objective was, they both were because they talked about it constantly, but they were not achieving it because he did not let himself and she was not pressuring or forcing him to accomplish it. But the reality was that they were delaying him and he didn't understand why she didn't look for him more.

[i-love-books-because-reasons]

The Lion's Roar (The Long Dark fanfic) Chapter 1

Hello! It's been a long while since I posted any stories, but I've been writing this whole time and I got the urge to post fics again. I may or may not edit this story in the future. This is my first time posting a fic in a long time so I'm sorry if it's not very good. I'm not going to post on a schedule and am just going to upload whenever I feel like it.

Sorry for the years of silence, and sorry for the short chapter.

"We had no choice. Sadness was as dangerous as panthers and bears. The wilderness needs are full attention." ~ Laura Ingalls Wilder

Stacy awoke to the harsh wind blowing outside her tiny one room cabin. The lights coming through the windows were way to bright for the middle of the night. Stacy dragged her very pregnant body to the window and saw the night sky set a blaze by an aurora.

A blinding light flashed across the sky, the lights in the cabin started flickering and sparking, then the cabin's old wires burst into flames. The old wood was like kindling and causing the fire to spread. Stacy ran outside while quickly grabbing her hoodie and boots that were by the door. Once she was a safe distance away she looked back in time to wash her home burn to the ground.

Though the cabin was old Stacy had only lived there a little over eight months. Before that she was living with her physically abusive boyfriend. After Stacy found out she was pregnant, and having no family she was on speaking terms with, she made up her mind to leave and go as far away as she could get, and managed to find a inexpensive place on Great Bear Island in Northern Canada.

That cabin represented a new beginning, a fresh start, and it was gone just like that.

And now Stacy was freezing, and it was still the middle of the night. She had to find shelter fast. 

Stacy kept walking until she came across an old trailer. At least it would keep her warm. Inside the trailer was a row of three bunk beds, a small desk, and a bookshelf. 

After searching all the nooks and crannies Stacy found a sweater, a thick jacket, and boots, as well as some food, and can opener on the shelf. She placed a hand on her swollen stomach. Stacy's baby was due sometime next month. How are they going to survive this nightmare?

She found a bag of beef jerky and opened it. Stacy and ate while she worried about how her future seemed so uncertain and terrifying. Everything she had was now gone, and the thought going through this alone Weighed heavily on her. Stacy had never prayed before.

[translationandbetrayals]

Web novel appreciation post

I consider myself a anime otaku and I like to watch anime, read manga, share anime memes, talk about anime with my friends, and I like to spend a lot of my money on anime related stuff, but on the last 8 years I have read more web novels than I have watched anime, at the moment I am writing this I have 9 tabs open on my browser with web novels that I refresh everyday to read the latest translated chapter, because I fell in love with this media and I want to use this opportunity to talk about it.

I have lived on the outskirts of Santiago since 2011, so I spend and have spent a lot of my time on public transport, 3-4 hours a day and sometimes even more, and I have found that for me what works the best to pass time is music and whatever web novel I am currently reading, I fell less observed than when I’m reading a manga or watching an anime, it does not use as much battery on my phone and I am not doing anything illegal because web novels are free and accessible to everyone on the internet; at the beginning I only read on my commute to school, but after a while (and when I found web novels I liked a lot) I started reading at home at the hours I used to watch anime, to the point that right now although I want to watch some of the anime adaptations of the light novel adaptations of the web novels that I have read (Like Mushoku Tensei, Tate no Yuusha, Kumo Desu ga nani ka?, and others) I end up reading another web novel instead.

  If you like watching anime I really recommend to start reading web novels (A good place to begin looking for them is novelupdates.com, it is kind of the myanimelist of light and web novels) because they in some way written as if they were an anime, in the sense that you can see in your head the scenes described by the author, and a lot of the tropes that are common in anime are also common in web novels, and if you do not want to limit yourself to japanese media I also recommend some of the Korean novels (Regressed Demon lord is kind, Trash of the Count’s family, The legendary Moonlight sculptor, Overgeared, The Second coming of Gluttony, and others) but due to the theme of the class I am going to talk about the japanese ones.

  Just like fanfics and other self-published unedited web media, there are a lot of amateur works, badly written and poorly paced novels, but you can also find the raw uncensored work (in the sense of not trying to appeal to specific audiences and the restrictions of publishing companies) of excellent beginner authors, so to get into this world I recommend starting with the most popular web novels and then delving deeper into the more unknown ones, note of advice to avoid unnecessary suffering, check the chapter release frequency because there are some web novels that are translated daily and others that are translated once a month. 

  So as a sort of summary/review and to get people interested I am going to talk about the web novel that was adapted to manga in 2019 “Rebuild World”. The novel takes place in a post-apocalyptic future where the technology of that world reached the point where people if they wanted to could upload themselves to robotic bodies identical to human ones; knives could cut through thick cement walls; normal looking clothes could deflect bullets and people were able to create robots and AIs for any kind of work, but by the time the story takes place that was a thing of the past, no one know exactly what happened but the apocalyptic event was a long time ago and humanity now lives in a few cities and outposts in wastelands filled with ruins that used to be the cities of the “Old World”, fighting against synthetic monsters armed to the teeth (sometimes literally) produced in AI controlled factories, to collect Old world artifacts that cannot be produced with the current technology to keep surviving, the people that venture out to the wastelands are called Hunters and they sort of work like your typical “Adventurer’s guild”.

In this world there is an orphan boy called Akira (I think I see a reference here) who lives in the slums of one of these cities, after obtaining a gun he goes unprepared to the wastelands where he finds a naked woman standing calmly in the middle of the ruins as if nothing could harm her and after that meeting Akira’s life changes forever.

  The world and characters of this novel are well defined and the relationship between them and the main character are excellently fleshed out to the point where it comes across as a believable world, the fight scenes kind of remind me of a mix between Mad Max: Fury Road and Blade Runner; sometimes they are action packed, filled with explosions and bullets flying everywhere with some other crazy stuff and other times they are one on one fights with clever use of the environment and technology with a little bit of psychological warfare. There are wholesome moments that still remind you that Akira is just a boy interacting with other people but at the same time you see this ruthless kid hardened by what he has lived through and how this is reflected on his environment and relationships and how he responds to certain events, where he gets close to people but never close enough and always living on edge, never letting things unfinished due to his broken personality and carefulness. Akira is a character with lots of flaws but thanks to this he offers an interesting perspective on an uncommon type of main character, and once I get up to date with the latest translated chapter I plan to read the manga and I hope that someday I will get to watch an anime adaptation of this work.

 By Nicolas Gonzalez.

[thelucyverse]

How To Interact With Beta Readers - for Fanfic Authors

I wanted to make posts both for fic authors and beta readers, because I realized in several recent interactions that some helpful unwritten rules of fandom seem to have become lost to people who are new to it.

This isn't meant to be a call-out post against anyone to say 'you did it wrong!' (really, how could anyone be mad if you just didn't know any better), and there aren't even any definite rules for anything - but I just thought these things might be nice to know and helpful to share around. This first part will be @ the authors, the second part is @ the betas.

Asking for a beta reader

When you want someone to look through your fic, whether you ask in a tumblr post, @/helper in a discord server, in the notes of an already posted work or anywhere else, it's important to state both a) what the work that you want betad is and b) what you want from a beta reader.

The facts about the story.

The first most important facts about the story are a) length (in wordcount, as that is the most-used measurement for fanfiction - you can see it below the tags of an ao3 draft, or at the bottom left of a Word document), and b) rating and warnings. No, please don't just ask 'i have a fic for xy ship to beta' - that's nice information, but not helpful for someone who needs to decide whether they a) have the time to work on the length of fic and b) are willing to be confronted with the kind of content you have written.

In addition to that, you should of course also write what fandom, characters and dynamic it is about, because most beta readers are only willing to beta stories they would also usually read for fun. To make sure that the right people find the ask for a beta reader, you best target the post to them, so tag a tumblr post with the fandom and ship etc, and on discord share the request in a server or channel for the fandom, not an unrelated one.

What format is the draft in?

A word document you can send them via e-mail, a copy-pasted text in a direct message, link access to a google docs? Not everyone is comfortable with all of these methods, and you need to figure out one that works for the both of you.

Also, do you want the changes made directly in the text, in comment functions of the document, or as messages to you? If for example you send someone a Word document, and don't want them to change anything directly in your text, but they aren't comfortable working with the comment function there and end up writing you separate messages telling you what page and line the edits are one, that's going to be a lot more work for you to look through than you might have liked, so make sure to communicate it all beforehand and figure out a way that works properly for everyone.

What do you want from your beta?

'Well, to look over the story, duh?' but it's not that easy. Do you want the beta to:

- Only check for spelling and grammar mistakes in comments next to the text, No other suggestions at all because they would make you feel bad about your work/you don't have the time or want to spend the time on editing anything but honest mistakes/ any other reason?

- Grammar and spelling checks but also suggestions for word flow, repetitive words and phrases that could be changed and stylistic things like adding paragraph breaks (which are always nice to have for mobile reading)?

- [same as above] and also point out possible logic flaws and places where you might want to move a scene forward or back, or suggestions to things you could add to the story, with explanations as to why?

- [same as above] and also give suggestions for text you could cut that is unnecessary to the story or interrupting the flow of a scene in the opinion of your beta reader?

- Include nice messages as to what the beta liked best of the fic, or stay completely objective?

- Point out things they subjectively didn't like and would change about the story if they wrote it themselves, or not?

- Make corrections directly in the story, so afterwards you barely need to look at it anymore before you can publish it, or only give suggestions in comments or messages?

All of these are things some people welcome and others find incredibly annoying and/or hurtful! So make sure to communicate exactly what you are looking for. You don't have to do so in your initial public request, but once you have found a potential beta, you should text them the details before giving them access to your fic.

Do not be afraid of cancelling on a beta if you don't think it is going to work out! Whether because they aren't comfortable using the format you like to use, are a language teacher who can't stop correcting the long sentences you choose to keep as a stylistic choice, or just someone you don't vibe with, whether it's before or after they have started beta reading - be kind, but let them know that it just isn't working out, and that you would rather stop now before either of you wastes any more time and effort. If they want you to, you can tell them what you would have liked them to do differently, but don't ask someone to change how they are, and don't give unsolicited criticism, no, not even to a beta reader.

Decide on a time-frame

When are you going to send them the fic? Chapter by chapter over the next days, or the entire work? When do you want or need the work to be beta read? Is it for a challenge or gift exchange and needs to be finished on the same day, or can they wait for the weekend? Even if you don't have a specific deadline, when do you want them to send it back at the latest?

Working with a beta reader

After - or, if you are in for example a google docs at the same time, while - your beta reader does the corrections, you should look at them and decide which corrections you want to keep, and which to disregard. This is entirely your decision, it is your story, you don't need to feel bad if you don't take all of the suggestions for your work, even if you end up only correcting the spelling mistakes and ignoring everything else, it's your decision and this is fine.

If your beta gave suggestions for additional scenes or sentence changes, you can let them know once you have new text for them to correct, but keep in mind that they might no longer have time or energy to beta now, and don't be disappointed if they tell you this or don't reply. They already helped you, and you can always look for a new beta if you feel that your story still needs it.

Crediting your beta reader

Where are you uploading your fic, and how does your beta reader want to be credited? You best talk about this beforehand as well, as some betas only want to work on something when they will get the credit on a platform they are also on.

When posting on tumblr, it is usually expected to @ the person who helped you and write their url or tracked tag in the #s as well, but make sure to ask beforehand, as maybe they don't want other people to know they beta because they don't want to get swamped in work requests/ they don't want their url associated with for example explicit work/ they want you to tag a sideblog for the fandom instead of their main url.

On ao3, you can link to another author's dashboard or profile page (ask which one they prefer) in the notes by first going to the work text - rich text, writing their name, clicking the link symbol, pasting the url, going back to HTML text and cut-pasting the code to the note you want to have it in. You can do the prep work in a new work instead of your actual draft so you won't accidentally cut any of the work text. Again, ask the person beforehand whether they want to be linked there, or just want a nickname or their tumblr url credited.

You can also gift people works on ao3, and while this is in no way a requirement and most beta readers won't ask for it, just about everyone is happy to receive ao3 gifts! You can ask them beforehand if they want that, but as people can accept and refuse gifts on ao3 themselves, you can also let it be a surprise.

If your beta put a lot of work into your fic and wrote parts of it themselves, you can also make them a co-creator of the work on ao3, but only do this if you know and trust the person, as they will gain access to the fic and will be able to edit everything just like you.

Let me know if I missed anything, and I will update the post!

Tips for beta-readers themselves here!

[timmytimwriter]

Once Upon A Time...

A/N: Hi! I know I haven’t uploaded anything in a long while, BUT I’ve kept myself busy with writing. I know I had requests I haven’t uploaded yet, and that’s because I’m working on it. Recently, I started watching the Fantastic Beast film series and fell head over heels in love with Theseus Scamander. So, here’s a little mini-series.

As usual, all my Y/N’s are black. Period. If you want a white Y/N, refer to the other gazillion fanfics that fail to be inclusive to black women :) with that out the way, enjoy!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None, just heartbreak :(

Once upon a time, it was Y/N Y/L/N and Theseus Scamander against the world. Having spent nearly their entire life together, nearly everyone expected them to end up together. Hell, even they expected to end up together. And, they almost did. Y/N loved him more than she loved life itself. Theseus did not.

Once upon a time, Y/N was prepared to spend the rest of her life with Theseus. But their fairytale romance didn’t end in a happily ever after.

The small gang had run out of places to hide. Wherever they want, Grindelwald’s supporters seemed to find – and try to kill – them. They had exhausted every hiding spot in the entire continent of Europe, it seemed.

“We can’t just keep running.” Tina fumed after nearly escaping yet another attack. They trudged through the alleys of London. Try as they might, it was hard to stay inconspicuous with such a large group. If it were just Newt, Tina, and Jacob running it’d be easier – but, their ranks had been joined by Yusuf Kama, Nagini, and Theseus Scamander.

“We have to leave Europe. We can’t keep hiding out like animals.” Yusuf said.

“We could always go back to New York?” Jacob halfheartedly suggested. After losing Queenie, everything Jacob did was halfhearted. It was as if Queenie took his very essence with her when she left.

“No, New York would be too obvious. They know who we are, so they must know where we live.” Tina interjected, just as halfheartedly. She had lost her sister to an evil she couldn’t find. All she could do was run; run away from her sister.

Newt noticed her sadness and took her hand in his, offering her a small smile. Theseus watched his little brother and Tina hold hands, which only reminded him of what he had lost: Leta Lestrange.

Theseus’ bitter thoughts were interrupted by his brother. “New York may be too obvious but going to America isn’t such a bad idea…” Newt’s voice trailed off and he tentatively glanced at his older brother, who was lost in his own world.

“Theseus…” Newt softly said. He let go of Tina’s petite hand and walked over to his brother, putting a soft hand on his broad shoulders.

“What?” Theseus saw everyone now looking at him, and he wondered if he missed something important when he was lost in his own head. “Did I miss something?”

Newt took a deep breath. He knew this wasn’t going to end well. “I know a place we can hideout. In America. But you’re not going to like it…”

The day was September 18th, 1927.

The crisp autumn brisk bristled past Y/N as she swiftly walked through a nearly empty park. It was nearly 8AM and, though nearly everyone else in Washington DC was asleep, Y/N Y/L/N had made a point of waking up at 5 in the morning for the sole purpose of getting fresh baked goods from Maryland.

See, her favorite bakery was nearly an hour-long drive from her home and the goods always ran out fast. It had taken her weeks to devise a working and precise plan, but she had finally done it. Now, it was just this eerie park that separated where she parked her car and her apartment that delayed her breakfast.

“If the bread gets cold… after all my hard work… so help me Merlin…” she huffed, hastening her paste. Finally, she found herself in front of her apartment – a stout yet charming brown shoe-box shaped building that was snuggled between what seemed like a billion other buildings that fit the same description. Lucky for her, Y/N lived on the ground floor and only had to climb the front steps and insert her key.

“Home sweet home.” She thought to herself, setting the bag of baked goods on a nearby table. She shrugged off her light coat, lamenting if the food was worth not sleeping in. Lord knows when she may get another opportunity; with the rise of Grindelwald, her work at the ministry had nearly quadrupled.

But it kept her busy. It distracted her from everything ailing her life; how war was imminent, worrying for her family’s safety, worrying for her own safety, worrying for…him.

As much as it pained her, she kept close tabs on him. Whenever a European Auror turned up dead because of Grindelwald or one of his followers, she prayed it wasn’t him. Y/N had never been a religious person; she believed in magic, but that was it. To this day, it still puzzled her how the man who had completely crushed her heart made her believe in the unbelievable.

She shook her head. “Stop thinking about him.” She muttered to herself, taking a deep breath. “Lord knows he’s not thinking about you. Lord knows he was never thinking about you…” She tossed her coat onto the couch, making a mental note to put it away later.

For now, she needed the only thing that would drive him out of her mind: food. Through her heartbreak and depression, there was only one constant in her mind. The one thing that drove her out of bed nearly every day. The one thing that didn’t attempt to get her to “talk about it” or “put herself out there.” The one thing that she loved more than…

“Theseus!”

Lo and behold, standing right there in her petite kitchen was Theseus Scamander. The man who had obliviated her heart.

She nearly fell back in shock, never expecting to see his face again. After all these years… he still looked the same. His eyes were still dark with slight speckles on gold. His auburn hair still had those unruly curls that he hated and often unsuccessfully tried to gel back, but Y/N always loved. Most of her favorite memories with him included him cuddling up to her while she played with his hair.

She narrowed her eyes and peered closer at him, taking in everything that had changed. Yes, he had certainly aged, but he looked thoroughly exhausted. He had bags under his eyes, and small vanishing wounds riddled his body. He looked tired. Defeated. She had never seen that look in him.

He looked like she did when he left her. Heartbroken.

“So sorry to intrude like this, Y/N” his brother, Newt, interjected. Y/N only then realized that there were other people present.

“What the hell is going on?”

Newt provided a quick summarization of what the group had gone through the past couple of days: the fight during Grindelwald’s assembly, Queenie’s betrayal, Credence switching sides, and Leta’s death. At that last comment, Y/N’s eyes instinctively darted to Theseus, who kept his trained on the ground. As a matter of what, he was trying desperately hard to avoid eye contact.

“We wouldn’t be here if we weren’t desperate, Y/N.” Newt said. The Scamander’s and Y/N had a long and complicated history, and Newt hated having to impose this on his old friend. He didn’t like the idea of involving her in an already volatile situation.

Y/N, on the other hand, wouldn’t hear a word otherwise. “Of course, you’re all welcome to stay. I wish you’d come earlier and save yourselves the trouble of running around London seeking refuge.”

Newt gratefully nodded, taking Tina’s hand in his. “Don’t worry, I still remember my way around your flat.” At that, he and his... girlfriend(?) apparated away – probably to another room to get some privacy.

Now Y/N was left alone with a group of people she didn’t know. Well, she knew Theseus – once upon a time – but not as well as she thought she did, obviously.

“Alright, then. Are any of you hurt? Hungry? I’ve got baked goods from the best place in the country.” Y/N pushed further into the kitchen, clutching her bag of baked goods with her. Brushing past Theseus, she caught a sniff of the most comforting and familiar smell she knew. In fact, it was the exact same smell of her Amortentia potion. “I’ve got about a dozen bagels and some doughnuts. Oh, and cookies too. You might be wondering why I have so much food, after all, I’m just one person. And that’s a very funny question…” Y/N blabbered away. As if talking would fill the awkward space.

Because if she fell silent, she’d have to become more aware of her surroundings. That would mean looking at Theseus. Maybe even talking to him. And it would, ultimately, lead to her reliving every wonderfully painful memory she ever shared with him.

“Y/N…? Now, where have I heard that name before?” Jacob asked.

“Maybe from Newt? We went to Hogwarts together for about three years, after all.”

“Only three? Isn’t wizarding school for seven years, or something like that?”

“Yes, but I started school at Uagadou. It’s the wizarding school in Africa – I’m from Senegal, by the way, don’t let the English accent fool you- but then I transferred to Hogwarts in my fourth year…” Y/N trailed off, not fully wanting to finish the story as it didn’t paint her in the best light.

“…After she transfigured into a panther and attacked a kid for teasing her brothers.” Theseus finished. Y/N’s head snapped up, sending her Y/H/C locks flying in disarray, and stared at him. He was still tentatively looking at the ground, but his face held a knowing smile. “And then just a year after starting at Hogwarts, she did the exact same thing to another student.” He slowly raised his head. With his eyes partially hidden behind his disheveled auburn curls, it seemed as if he was staring into her naked soul.

“Magnolia Harper,” Y/N recalled, “She bloody deserved it too.”

“And what exactly did the poor girl do to warrant an animal attack?” Nagini whispered, her head cocked to the side in curiosity.

Y/N could feel the temperature in her cheeks rising by the second. At that times like this, she was glad her melanin complexion made it difficult for anyone tell she was blushing. The entire story was bloody embarrassing, especially given the situation everything was in right now. She chewed on the bottom of her lip, trying to piece together exactly how to phrase her answer.

Luckily, Theseus came to the rescue. “There was a rumor that she was planning on asking me to the Yule Ball and Y/N got insanely jealous. Pounced on her during Dumbledore’s practice dueling sessions and nearly clawed her entire face off.”

“Oh, so you two were an item. How sweet, young love.” Nagini mulled, smiling at the two. Yusuf stood beside her, solemnly nodding his head.

The pair looked down, the nostalgic smiles slipping from their faces. All the dissipating anger Y/N harbored suddenly came bubbling to the surface, remembering Theseus’ betrayal like a fresh wound. Theseus, on the other hand, felt the guilt and grief wash over him like a Tsunami.

“Not exactly. It turns out I was worried about the wrong girl…”

[carryonmywaywardcaptain]

Imagine...finding out there’s fanfic written about you--and even Charlie ships you with Dean

CarryOnCap’s Masterlist

Warnings: Fluff? Crack? A dramatic fanfic within a fanfic that I got carried away with haha.

A/N: This is kind of ridiculous, but I had fun with it! Also, I’ve never actually seen GoT but it seemed like a reasonable reference from what I’ve heard about it.

“Hey, look who I found!” Sam’s voice echoed through the War Room.

Dean glanced at you from across the table in the library, sharing your surprised expression as you both pushed your chairs away and stood. 

“‘Sup, bitches?” Charlie grinned, making her way up the steps toward you.

“Hey! We were expecting you guys to come in through the main door. We’ve been keeping an ear out.”

Charlie stepped into your outstretched arms and pulled you into a tight hug. “It was a spur of the moment decision, but I decided to stick around a day or two longer than planned! Sam said I could go ahead and park in the garage.”

She let go of you and turned to give Dean a hug too. He smiled softly with a look that was uniquely reserved for her, cradling the back of her head while she pressed her cheek against his.

“Good to see you, Charlie. You know you’re always welcome to stay as long as you want.”

An involuntary smile crept onto your face as you watched them. You couldn’t help the way your heart swelled at the low rumble in his voice when he said her name. There was an undeniable protectiveness in his tone when he spoke to her--the sister he’d never wanted, as he affectionately called her.

When you shifted your attention to her, you noticed she was watching you. Before you could decipher the knowing glint in her eye, she suddenly twisted out of his arms and glanced back and forth between you and Dean. She began swinging her arms awkwardly before opting to cross them over her chest.

“You okay?” Dean asked, furrowing his brow.

“Yeah! Of course...Totes chill...cooler than a pack of peppermints.” She bobbed her head and flashed a nervous smile, twisting her hair around her finger as she struggled to act nonchalant. “It’s just that I remembered something. A story I read a while back--completely random. Totally unrelated to anything--I mean, now I’m starting to ramble. Hah! So how’ve you guys been? Still saving the world from evil sons-of-bitches?” 

“Uh, yeah…” Sam answered, scrunching his eyebrows together. “We stay busy.”

“So what’s on the agenda tonight?” you piped up, changing the subject.

You were hoping to avoid swapping monster stories for a night. Charlie typically assumed the role of introducing you to popular and noteworthy fandoms during her visits to the bunker and, even if the boys weren’t as vocal, the three of you appreciated her knowledge of all things geeky and nerdy. 

“I was thinking Marvel. Y/N, you’re obviously well-versed in the MCU because of your obsession with Steve Rogers--and, you know, clearly you’ve got a thing for the strong, righteous, self-sacrificing hero type. Dean, you could stand to branch out from the Batman references and, Sam, you’ve got this whole Thor kind of vibe going on.”

While Sam and Dean began teasing each other and arguing over “Batman versus Thor,” you gaped at Charlie, wondering what she’d meant by her remark about you having a “type.” You couldn’t help feeling like she was trying to insinuate something, but you shrugged it off and decided maybe it was all in your head.

***

After getting Charlie settled into one of the extra bedrooms, the four of you settled into the Dean Cave and agreed to start with the first Captain America movie. 

Last Christmas, you and Sam had teamed up to surprise Dean with a couch for the Dean Cave. He had originally only had two La-Z-boy recliners and you’d found him fast asleep in the stiff old chairs on more than one occasion. Dean had been over the moon about the extra seating and the three of you had rearranged the furniture so the recliners were angled toward the tv on either side of the couch.

“Dibs on this side of the couch!” Charlie said, diving toward the furthest end from the door.

Although it was subtle, you knew there was still something off about the way Charlie studied all of you. There was definitely something on her mind she was trying to keep hidden from all of you.

“You know, we should probably have some snacks,” you said slowly. “Charlie, you want to come help me grab some stuff from the kitchen?”

“But I’m already comfy in my spot.” She frowned, wiggling her hips to make a point of sinking deeper into the spot she’d claimed on the couch. “Why don’t you have Dean help you?”

When you narrowed your eyes suspiciously, Sam cleared his throat. “Dean, why don’t I help you grab some snacks while Y/N and Charlie...catch up, er, whatever…”

You heard the boys leave the room and waited until their footsteps faded down the hall before you started interrogating her.

“Alright, Charlie--what the hell is going on with you?”

“I don’t know what you're talking about,” she muttered, scrolling through her phone.

“Bull. We lie for a living and I know there’s something you’re not telling us. So spill.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “Okay, so remember the Supernatural books by Carver Edlund?”

“Yeah…”

“The series obviously kind of had a cult following when it was in print, right? Well ever since the unpublished works got uploaded, the following has really taken off. Every once in a while a new one still pops up and the fans love them. And you’re in them now too!”

“I’m...what?”

“I mean it’s just insane and totally got sucked into it too. It’s brought on this whole new wave of fanfiction--”

“What’s fanfiction?” you cut in, struggling to keep up.

“It’s fiction made by the fans about the series. Sometimes they put themselves in the stories and write about working cases and fighting monsters with you guys--”

“Why would anyone want to pretend to do this crap with their lives?”

She stared at you for a moment and frowned. “Because you guys are heroes. I mean, yeah, there’s the whole depressing side of monsters and death and trauma and world-ending apocalypses--but you guys save people. You go on these exciting adventures of good versus evil and a lot of times you win. You save people. The fans really look up to all of you.”

Your gaze fell to the floor as you let her words sink in, but she didn’t give you long before she was rambling again.

“But that’s not even the best part! Everyone ships different OTPs--” she paused, noticing your puzzled expression “--uh, one true pairing… So everyone has a favorite couple they think are soulmates and belong together. There’s stories about Sam with Eileen or Jess, Dean with different people--you get the gist. Sometimes they even make up characters or do these ‘reader inserts’ and imagine themselves with the boys or you but, hands down, everyone’s favorite couple they want to end up together is you and Dean.”

“...what?” 

Your eyes grew wide. It was hard enough to wrap your mind around the fact that strangers who didn’t know you were a real person were reading about your life, but learning they imagined you in different relationships? You’d never admit it out loud, but had it bad for Dean. And hearing you weren’t the only one that wanted the two of you together...

“I’ve gone deep into the fic and I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner!” Charlie shook you from your thoughts. “You and Dean are perfect for each other. For serious. I usually stick to the fluffy stuff because, you know, your entire life is kind of angsty and I don’t like to read about you guys being in pain or, like, dying...again. Although I definitely have to admit I kind of stumbled into some of the smutty stuff and, wow, that was something else.”

You opened your mouth to ask more questions, but she kept rolling.

“Right, you probably don’t know what that means either. Fluff is the cute stuff that gives us all feels, angst is kind of just what it sounds like, and smut is, well...the sexy stuff.”

“You mean people out there in the world write about me and Dean…”

“Going at it like an episode of Game of Thrones? Oh yeah,” she responded, unlocking her phone. “Here. Here’s an example.”

Swallowing audibly, you took a seat next to her on the couch as she extended her phone toward you. Gnawing your bottom lip, you began reading the words on the screen:

Y/N took a deep breath, holding it in briefly before she exhaled and began walking toward Dean’s room. Ever since they returned from the hunt, Dean had hidden himself away in his room--no doubt blaming himself for everything that had gone wrong.

When she arrived at his door, she raised her hand to knock. She hesitated, almost retreating at the thought of him turning her away, but she had to try. She had to get through to him somehow.

She rapped her knuckles on the raw umber barrier and opened the door of Room 11 before he could tell her to go away. 

She spotted him leaning over the sink, staring at his reflection in the medicine cabinet on the wall. His jade eyes flickered to where she stood in the doorway, their reflection somewhat distorted by cracks that spiderwebbed from where he had struck the mirror.

Her heart seemed to drop into her stomach as she imagined him lashing out, knowing he punched the mirror because he hated the reflection staring back at him. Knowing he always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders when he didn’t need to.

Y/N carefully shut the door and locked it behind her--the click of the deadbolt deafening in the silence. Her eyes never left Dean, who refused to turn and face her. She inched toward him, closing the distance until she could reach out and touch him. Gently placing her hand on his shoulder, she guided him to turn away from the mirror. Still, he refused to meet her eyes.

“Dean…” she breathed, voice barely above a whisper as she cupped his face in her hands. “It’s not your fault.”

He squeezed his eyes closed, face contorting with grief and guilt. The ghosts of his past refused to let him go, but she was determined to make him believe that he was worthy, no matter the cost.

Curling a finger beneath his chin, she tilted his head up, waiting patiently for him to meet her gaze. When his dark green orbs finally met hers, she was surprised to see that they were full of longing and desire. They flickered to her lips, making her breath tremble under the intensity of his gaze. Time seemed to slow until it froze altogether.

Anticipation hung heavy in the air as they both struggled against their desire to maintain the friendship they’d always had and the desperate need to finally cross that line. To succumb to the magnetic pull that had always been evident between the two of them.

Dean swallowed thickly before suddenly rushing forward, crashing his lips to Y/N’s as he pulled her into a searing kiss. He wrapped his strong arms around her, trapping her to his chest, afraid it was all a dream and she would soon disappear. But she gladly melted into his embrace, feeling like she was finally returning home, to a place she’d spent her life searching for.

A moan slipped past her lips as he walked her backward, pressing her up against the wall. She gasped, feeling his--

“The snacks have arrived!”

You jumped in surprise, a small gasp of surprise escaping as the boys appeared with armloads of snacks. Confusion and worry painted Dean’s face as he surveyed your flustered expression. Between his scrutinizing gaze and the content you’d practically been caught reading, your cheeks grew warm. 

“Did I miss something?” Dean asked.

“Nope,” you responded much too quickly.

Charlie’s phone had fallen into your lap and, when she began cackling, you whipped your head in her direction and flung the phone at her thigh. You grimaced and the two of you had your own silent conversation as the boys spread the food across the bar Dean had built on the far wall.

“I was just telling Y/N how pumped I am about seeing my favorite OTP tonight,” she giggled.

“Your...what?”

Dean’s arm brushed yours as he plopped down on the other side of you. The accidental contact sent a wave of chills over your skin, making you shudder. You could feel his eyes on you again, but you refused to look at him.

“Oh, I’m so going down with this ship,” Charlie whispered under her breath before continuing in a louder voice. “Nothing--nevermind! Don’t mind me, just thinking out loud...”

“It says here an OTP means...one true pairing?” Your eyes grew wide as you looked to where Sam was reading his phone from where he sat in one of the recliners. “So, uh, ‘in the fandom realm, OTP refers to the coupling of characters--usually from the sci-fi or fantasy genres--by fans who think they make a great romantic duo and envision their lives together and share their imaginings with other fans.’”*

Charlie doubled over, beside herself with laughter. With your lips pressed into a firm line, you glanced at the boys to gauge their reactions. You knew there was no way they could possibly know what you and Charlie had been talking about, but that didn’t stop you from worrying about what Dean might think if he ever found out about the feelings you harbored for him. 

“So...you’re looking forward to Cap and his girl in the movie? I’m so freaking confused,” Dean grumbled.

“Yeah…” Sam agreed, making his way to the tv. “I’m just, uh...I’m gonna start the movie now.” 

“Good idea.” Charlie peered at you out of the corner of her eye. “Plenty of time to read and talk about all those ships later.”

Although you glared at her, trying to hide your amusement, nothing could deter the smug smile etched upon her face. As Sam turned the lights off and you settled in for another relaxing night with your favorite people, one thing was certain:

You were definitely going to have to take another look at that fanfiction.

CarryOnCap Crew (Forevers):

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[althephie]

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 - 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

to 100-0

like so sad

do i feel bad for doing this to yall yes. but i am curel to myself too! so have fun!

𝐝𝐫𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 - 𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢 𝐤𝐞𝐢𝐣𝐢

- akaashi took advantage of his childhood friend y/n knowingly, and ghosted her for someone else.

I got my driver's license last week

her e/c looked out of the front of her car watching herself drive past down her street.

Just like we always talked about 'Cause you were so excited for me

the female could feel her eyes watering as her tears stream down her face wetting it. reminding her of the day that she found the love of her life with someon else. oh how much she cried that day.

she wanted to punch his stupid perfect face

perfect eyes

perfect body

perfect everything

akaashi was just perfect.

that it was too good to be true

To finally drive up to your house But today I drove through the suburbs Crying 'cause you weren't around

y/n was so heartbroken when she saw him at their favorite cafe with someone else. he had ghosted her for the past 2 weeks and barely contacted her. they were dating still and it hurt her.

on a very cold winter day, she decided to go get some coffee. instead of happy memories rushing in the heartache did.

And you're probably with that blonde girl Who always made me doubt She's so much older than me

she was a pretty blonde foreign girl, who was tall and had beautiful green eyes. she was definitely older than y/n and akaashi. she was mature. she had a perfect body.

she was perfect.

perfect eyes

perfect body

perfect everything.

the blonde was also just perfect.

She's everything I'm insecure about Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs 'Cause how could I ever love someone else?

the h/c was driving mindlessly as despair surged into her body as if it was her only life support. the only thing that kept her alive was her own depression.

ironic isn't it?

the thing that killed many, made her stay alive.

And I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone

another round of tears flooded her eyes as a sinking feeling in her chest bloomed. she remebered confronting him alone.

he kept a straight face.

his once warm eyes were now cold.

he looked at her with such disgust and annoyance.

it broke y/n...it made her feel so insecure.

so useless

so stupid

all the dark-haired male had to say was....

" bye."

Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

Lifeless e/c eyes looked and examined the house that he lived in remebering all the times they had in his front yard.

the small cheesy picnics

the snowball fights with their friends

the stargazing

the pictures they took of each other.

the warm feeling of the sun touching their skin while their hearts skipped a beat each time they touched or made eye contact.

And all my friends are tired Of hearing how much I miss you, but I kinda feel sorry for them

her friends

their friends

they did not know about his girlfriend, until they all reunited during spring break of her 2nd year of college. instead of seeing y/n and akaashi being lovey dovey. they saw akaashi and some girl.

who even was she?

y/n’s once lively self was dull and stoic. usually she would jump into bokutos arms and fangirl over how cute hinata was still, but instead they all received a fake smile. it broke their hearts and angered many.

'Cause they'll never know you the way that I do, yeah Today I drove through the suburbs And pictured I was driving home to you

bokuto, the one who introduced you two as children was offended. she was his cousin. he asked akaashi for his reasons without anyone knowing. akaashi just looked away and shrug.

And I know we weren't perfect But I've never felt this way for no one, oh

“ i didn’t feel the spark anymore, but when i met Kila. she became the sun in my eyes. she is so bright and gorgeous. she is just...amazing….”

“ y/n was just the moon during a winter sky. cute but dull and boring. she could be bright, but did not stand out, i guess ”

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone I guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

in that moment, akaashi’s grey-blue eyes widened when he saw a fist coming straight to his face. Akaashi fell to the floor and looked up at his senpai in shock.

he had never seen bokuto look that scary before. instead of going into emo mode, he went into pissed off mode. His eyes piercing into the younger males soul

the nerve

Red lights, stop signs I still see your face in the white cars, front yards

“ WE ARE ALL CHILDHOOD FRIENDS!! SHE LOVED YOU!! AKAASHI” the white-haired male shouted with tears running down, “ YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY BROTHER!! YOU TOLD ME YOU WOULD NEVER HURT HER!! YOU ASSHOLE!”

“ Y/N IS NOT DULL!! SHE IS NOT JUST CUTE! SHE IS FUCKING GORGEOUS WAY BETTER THAN THAT STUPID BLONDE YOU HAVE NOW!! “

unknowest to them, y/n was sitting against the wall of the building the two had met up and cried silently.

“ YOU-Yo...You promised me...you promised.”

bokuto weeps falling onto his knees infront of his bestfriend.

he promised to take care of her and love her

to never hurt her

and he failed

“ i guess her light is to bright that it...*choke* it blinded you akaashi....it blinded you from seeing her beauty.”

Can't drive past the places we used to go to 'Cause I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

this y/n shook her head and woke up from her daydreaming. she did not know that she stopped the car in front of his house for a minuts. the s/c female sighed shakingly and pushed on the pedal to continue on going.

she needed to move on...but she knew she would never.

Sidewalks we crossed I still hear your voice in the traffic, we're laughing

she continued on driving more hearing his laugh ringing in her ears as memories kept on flushing through. she hoped he was happy

she hoped it was worth it for him

losing all his friends

losing his bestfriend

losing her

Over all the noise God, I'm so blue, know we're through But I still fuckin' love you, babe (ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh)

present y/n looked up with a microphone in hand as she watched the audience infront of her sing the lyrics.

they all looked at her with eyes of support

the same ones her friends and family gave her as she tried to move one

y/n broke down smiling and blowing kisses at her fans as she sang her song

I know we weren't perfect but I've never felt this way for no one

she was letting it out

she finally moved one

she wanted everyone to know that she was inlove once to and that no one is alone.

she felt free and happy

and...she got her drivers license. yeah, she was 20 years old, and should have gotten it earlier, but she had him...she had him to take her away from here.

now she has herself and her license

one that they planned to get it together after akaashi said that she needed one even if she sucked at driving. it made the two laugh.

now that was just a memory

And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay, now that I'm gone

she sung softly

not noticing a pair of grey-blue eyes staring up at her with awe. the girl he called “ dull and boring” was far from that, he was blind.

her brightest was so bright that it made him blind.

“ whoever broke y/n like that it stupid”

“ right? when she said that her ex ghosted her and left her for someone else it was so sad! they were childhood friends too!”

“ his lost.”

“ it was your lost akaashi.” he muttered to himsef watching the female laugh and cry at the song, she wrote about their love story.

'Cause you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me 'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street

she finally felt free after writing this song, but her love for the boy was still there. first love is hard fo forget of course. it’s the one that hurts the most.

she was not perfect

he was not either

it took him to realize how much he needed her

when he let her go

akaashi was wrong

she was bright

she was not dull

he was just blind to it all...

blinded by her beauty

blinded by her personality

and her glow

that it made him ignorant to it all.

maybe his beautiful y/n was too bright for him

too bright for him to handle.

as i said sorry but not sorry T-T

i am also crying tbh. if yall are.

bc idk why i hate it when ppl cheat but i keep reading angsty fanfics about it bc they are so good. don't cheat ppl it hurts

i will be uploading more on my masterlist soon! so watch out!

[slipping-through-my-fingertips]

Klaine Advent 2020 (day 1)

Summary: Blaine has an embrassing secret

Notes: Happy December! I'm so excited to be participating in the Klaine Advent again. Sorry this fic isn't overtly winter/christmas themes but that's probably because it doesn't really feel like winter quite yet to me. Hopefully these will be more wintery as I continue writing. This year fics won't be connected (though I'm sure some will have sequels or multiple parts) but they will all be posted here together instead of separate oneshots. 

Day One: Abashed

Kurt and Blaine liked to read before bed each night. Tucked under the sheets together Blaine typically reading on his phone and Kurt preferring magazines or a book. What Kurt didn’t know though was Blaine hadn’t been spending his nights crossing off novels on his to-be-read list instead he was bookmarking fanfiction and leaving gushing comments about characterization.

It was difficult to keep this from the love of his life. The only person in Blaine’s life who knew was his best friend Sam. Honestly, Blaine’s shocked neither boy had revealed this guilty pleasure to their partner. Blaine knew Sam hadn’t blabbed to Mercedes because she would’ve told Kurt and Kurt most certainly would’ve confronted Blaine about it. Maybe confronted is too strong, Kurt would’ve wanted to discuss it. They always made sure to have a constant open line of communication.

All of their bad habits, worries, successes, and secrets were out in the open nowadays. In the past, terrible communication had been their downfall. If they had just talked about their emotions, Blaine was positive they wouldn't have broken up...twice.

Which was why he felt guilty keeping secrets from Kurt. For god’s sake, they’ve known each other for ten years, one would think all their most embarrassing moments were known. Kurt was literally there for The Gap Attack. Eventually, living with Kurt this was inevitable, Blaine walked in on Kurt exercising with Richard Simmons. That had been way less embarrassing as far as Blaine was concerned because Kurt not only got more muscular from it, Blaine also found it unabashedly hot. Now, Blaine was certain Kurt timed his workouts with the end of Blaine’s shifts at work so he’d walk into their shared apartment and catch Kurt in his workout clothes.

Blaine tried to pick up his Kindle to start a new sci-fi novel he’d been waiting to read for months but found he couldn’t focus because he wanted to read the newly uploaded chapter of a fic he’d been following since the first chapter was published. At first, he hadn’t noticed the fic was unfinished, he thought it was another one-shot but the first chapter drew him in and he had to keep up with it. So, like most nights, he put his Kindle aside and opened his phone. Thank god for private tabs because he really, really, doesn’t want Kurt to find out about this.

He rolled over on his side still reading after Kurt shut off his bedside light and decided to try and sleep. Soon enough, his breathing shifted and Blaine knew he was asleep. When the chapter ends, Blaine put his phone on the charger and turned to face Kurt.

It was so peaceful watching him. His pink lips parted slightly and one hand outstretched begging Blaine to crawl into his embrace. Blaine snuggled into Kurt’s chest and watched as it rises and falls with each breath.

“I read fanfiction,” Blaine admitted, “it’s bothering me that you don’t know this and I’m so embarrassed and ashamed.”

Kurt doesn’t move. Of course not, he was asleep. But Blaine sighed anyway and closed his eyes.

The next morning was Sunday so Blaine woke up expecting morning snuggles but Kurt wasn’t in bed. He sat up quickly looking for any signs of Kurt but the bathroom light is off and the bedroom door is cracked open just as they left it the night before. Before Blaine can work himself into a panic because realistically he knows Kurt is probably making coffee, Kurt came back into the room. He was carrying a wooden tray.

“Hey there, sleepyhead.” Kurt smiled. “I brought coffee and pancakes.”

“I love you,” Blaine told him.

He moved his legs so Kurt could sit in front of him on the bed. Kurt placed the tray on Blaine’s lap and took a mug of coffee for himself. It wasn’t until Blaine had a mouthful of syrupy chocolate chip pancakes that Kurt started talking.

“I love you too, you know,” he said, “no matter what.”

Which was a weird thing to tell Blaine on a random Sunday morning in December.

Blaine swallowed. “Me too.”

“You can tell me anything too, I won’t judge you.”

Oh god, did he know? Did Sam finally cave and tell Mercedes? Was Kurt talking to her while Blaine slept in?

As if Kurt could read the alarm on Blaine’s face, which let’s be real he totally could, he moved the tray to the nightstand and grabbed one of Blaine’s hands.

“I know you’re feeling guilty. I saw it all week but I was waiting for you to come to me about it,” Kurt said. “You didn’t though so I thought maybe you needed me to start the conversation instead.”

Blaine bent his head, suddenly he didn’t want those blue eyes on him.

“Blaine.”

He looked up again. Kurt’s forehead had worry lines now. In order to prevent early wrinkles, Blaine spoke up.

“It’s embrassing,” he prefaced.

“That’s okay, just talk to me.”

Blaine took a breath. “I read fanfiction.”

Kurt just stared at him. Was he upset? Disgusted? Did he want to laugh at Blaine?

Turns out, none of the above.

“That’s all?” he asked like he was waiting for Blaine to confess more.

“Like a lot of fanfic, Kurt, I have so many bookmarked. I leave comments and kudos and follow the writer’s I love on Tumblr and there’s discussion boards that I’ve joined.”

One thing Blaine hadn’t considered when he finally told Kurt about this was having to convince Kurt this was a weird problem.

“So, you’re not ashamed of me?” Blaine whispered.

“Ashamed?” Kurt repeated. “Never, baby, never.”

He leaned in to kiss Blaine then.

“If I still liked you after the Gap Attack, the Rachel Berry fiasco, and made costumes and attend multiple cons with you and Sam, nothing will phrase me.”

Blaine ducked his head and blushed.

“Plus,” Kurt continued, “I thought you were going to tell me you wrote it or something! That would’ve been a deal-breaker.”

He looked up at Kurt and found him smiling.

“That was a joke right?” he asked.

Kurt just kissed him again in response and Blaine found he didn’t really care if Kurt minded if he decided to write fanfiction or not.