#Why must I be burdened not only with having to make the content I want to see but ALSO having ALL THE RIGHT OPINIONS.

[ratcandy]

being a zote liker is so HARD majority of the fandom hates him and the rest find the weirdest ways to mischaracterize him or similarly never talk about him because the majority exists and will EAT you for it

[bunnylovesani]

Kiss Me Through The Phone

Summary: You call your jerk of a stepbrother to remind him to pick up some milk on the way home but the conversation takes a sinful turn.

Content warnings: Stepcest, dubcon, masturbation, fingering, squirting

WC: 2.9k

“What do you want?” Sam’s short-tempered voice rings out of your phone’s speakers as he picks up your call.

“Just calling to say mom wants you to pick up a carton of milk on the way home.” You exhale. Your mother had been married to his dad for several months now but talking to Sam still made you frustratingly nervous. 

“Fine. Is that all?” He snaps back. 

“Yeah. When are you going to be back by the way?” You innocently chirp, worried that he’d been gone for so long. 

“Why do you care?” He scoffs and you shrink down onto your bed. He had a special gift for making you feel invisibly small. 

“Jus’ wondering Sam.” You shrug. “You’re barely ever home. Gets lonely sometimes.” 

“Princess wants a playdate, is that it? I’ve got better things to do than rot away in that hole of a house.” The mean tone in his voice pinches at your heartstrings and you feel tears welling up in your eyes. You quickly wipe them away and regulate your breathing, not daring to let him hear your sniffles- you’d never hear the end of it. 

“Okay. I’ll stop bothering you then.” You whisper disappointedly, heart sinking even more when you’re met with silence. 

“I’m only down the road at a friend’s house. I’ll be back later tonight.” He sighs, as though revealing the simple information was a burden to him. 

“You will?” You almost begin to float at the thought of him spending the night for once. 

“Yes. You can bother me then.” He sneers. 

“Okay!” You have to cover your mouth with your hand before the “can’t wait!” slips out of you. You anticipate that he’ll hang up but the seconds on your screen continue ticking on. 

“What have you been doing today?” He asks with a faint curiosity and you’re taken aback by his unusual question. 

“Oh! Um, I went shopping earlier.” You reprimand yourself for the stupid response. No wonder he thought you were nothing but an airhead- why couldn’t you have said you were reading classic literature or listening to metal?

“My old man give you a new credit card?” He questions and you blush with embarrassment. Your new stepfather was endlessly generous and as much as you loved being spoiled, you were concerned with the impression it left on Sam. “It’s alright. He loves you like you’re his own. Angel of the family. Probably glad he’s finally got a kid that isn’t a total mess now.” He adds before you can interject.

“Don’t say that, Sam. You’re not a mess.” You remark earnestly. You weren’t about to admit it but you thought the absolute world of him. 

“Whatever. What’d you buy?” He brushes the subject off and you hear him exhale- he must be smoking again. 

“Oh, I-uh. Well, I…” You stutter, remembering exactly what it is you’d bought earlier. 

“Spit it out.” He retorts impatiently and you eye up the pink bag of lingerie sitting by the edge of your bed. “What? You buy something secret?”

“I mean, kinda. Not really. It’s stupid.” You shake your head in panic. “I bought some new bras and panties.” 

Once you blurt out the delicate information, there’s an uncomfortably long pause.

“Cute. Bet you’ll look real pretty in it.” He chuckles lightly as he exhales again and a hot blush creeps over your whole face. 

“Maybe. I haven’t tried it on yet.” You murmur, unsure how to process Sam complimenting you. 

“What are you waiting for?” The sly smirk plastered on his face trickles into his words and you can picture it, clear as day. 

“I-I don’t know” You stumble, putting the phone down and fishing your favourite selection out of the bag- a striped pink set complete with chiffon bows. Without a second thought, you strip down to nothing and slide on your new purchase before twirling to admire yourself in front of the mirror. 

“How’s it looking?” Sam’s voice rings out on speakerphone.

“It’s pretty. Very flattering.” You said sweetly. 

“Show me.” 

His bold words stopped you in your tracks and you broke you out into a flurry of goosebumps. 

“W-what?” You hesitated, wondering if you’d misunderstood something.

“You heard me. Show me.” He stated confidently. 

Reluctantly, you approached your buzzing phone and peered at the screen to see an incoming FaceTime call from Sam. Against your better judgment, you accepted the request and fought the grin that threatened to envelop your face once your screen filled with his handsome, moody face. 

“Hey there, princess.” He drawled smoothly, a joint hanging between his fingers. 

“Hi.” You cooed, shyness consuming you. The sight of the mischievous glint in his blue eyes paired with the messy, dark hair that trailed down his forehead had you struggling to put a sentence together. 

“Put the phone down on your table and give me a spin then.” He ordered more than asked. 

Without a second word, you gently placed the phone on your vanity table and propped it up by the mirror before standing back with the same countenance as a skittish deer.

“Wow. Where’s that body been hiding?” He sniggers and you resist the urge to cover your heated face with your hands. 

“Now let’s see the back.” He gestures for you to turn around and you follow his command, perching your ass in the air a little as you show him. 

“Oh fuck yeah.” He expresses with a low, breathy tone. “Sit down for me.” 

Somewhat confused, you situate yourself on the chair by your desk. 

“Now lean back. Just like that, sweetheart.” 

You follow his words without question, spurred on by the trust you had for him. 

“Now spread your legs.” He said casually, as if it were the most normal thing in the world before taking a final drag of his joint and putting it out. When he sees you’re frozen in shock, he simply raises an eyebrow and cocks his head, as if to say “what?”

Anxiety racks your body- as well as deep, burning desire and a desperate urge to please him so you part your legs slowly, resting your heels on either edge of the chair. 

“That’s it, baby. You’re so well behaved, aren’t you?” His snarky voice makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up but you’d do anything to hear him call you ‘baby’ again. “Why don’t you slide those off?” His intentions finally come into clear focus- all doubts fading away when you hear the faint clinking of his belt. Too far gone to turn back now.

You put your thighs together, feet swinging gracefully in the air as you gradually pull your panties off. You hear rustling on the other line as Sam’s eyes remain painstakingly fixated on you and the glistening wetness you’ve revealed to him. Dragging the pink fabric over your knees, you flick them off and spread your legs once again. 

“L-like this?” You mumble anxiously, feeling chillingly exposed. 

“Yeah, baby. Just like that.” He sighs as you hear the snap of his boxers. 

“What are you doing, Sam?” You ask apprehensively, a warmth coming over you at the sound of his endearing words. 

“You wanna see?” A darkness overcomes his eyes, already smudged with 2-day old eyeliner. 

“Mhm.” You nod and he lowers the camera a couple of inches- just enough for his happy trail and lower hips to come into view. 

“Are you sure?” He teases and you nod again without a second thought. 

“Alright.” 

Without further delay, his large cock springs up onto your screen- swollen veins snaking around his thick base and the tip a pretty blushed pink. You exhale a shaky breath at the sight- you’d never seen one before and you weren’t expecting that your stepbrother’s would be the first. His large hand grabs the shaft, stroking it with slow but firm pumps. 

“I wanna see you doing the same now, princess.” He rasps, small groans escaping his parted lips between sinful words. 

“Me?” You’re taken aback by his perverted request. 

“Who else has got her legs spread? Yes, you. Put those pretty fingers to good use and touch yourself. Can you do that for me, baby?” He asks sternly and you have to look away from the camera when you notice how hungrily he’s staring at you. 

“I don’t know, Sam…” Your mind clouds with doubt. “Isn’t this really fucked up?” 

“The only thing that’d be fucked up is you backing out now.” He rebuked with the same aggression in his voice you’re used to hearing. “If you don’t  do it now, I’ll do it myself when I get home.” 

The thought of Sam’s fingers prodding somewhere so intimate both turned you on and freaked you out beyond measure. The dangerous stare in his glazed-over eyes served as a warning and you knew he wasn’t bluffing. 

With bated breath, you snaked one hand between your legs and traced it down your puffy folds.

“Good girl. I knew you’d do the right thing.” He sighs contentedly and resumes stroking his cock, the tip now a deeper pink and glassy with precum. “Now squeeze your tits with your other hand.” 

You knew better than to argue back so you followed his orders, raising your free hand to knead your left breast. 

“Pinch your nipple.” The expression on his handsome face contained nothing but dark, burning lust. 

“Sammm…” You whined, consumed with embarrassment.

“Don’t make me come down there.” He scowled threateningly. 

Anxiety racked your body but you could feel the wetness pooling in your cunt as you lightly pulled at your nipple. 

“I wanna see you fucking yourself.” He announced ominously. “Come on, baby, use those fingers.” 

“But Sam, I-I don’t do that. I don’t like it.” You mutter- you’d never tried before. 

“Do it for me.” He insisted and you knew you couldn’t refuse.

Your middle finger outlined your opening- it was certainly wet enough to slide in easily, but you still felt scared. Wanting to complain and give up, you looked up at the phone still perched on your desk and saw him then- eyes intently fixed on you and stroking himself desperately, shirt lifted up just enough to reveal his toned abdomen. He looked a mess. And all for you? 

Scrunching up your face, you slowly dipped a finger inside, wincing at the unfamiliar feeling and reprimanding yourself for not being strong enough to say no. 

“Oh, you’re such a baby.” Sam shook his head. “And you’re not doing it right.” 

“I don’t know what you want!” You moan frustratedly, pulling your hand away in defeat. 

“I know. I’ll show you.” He affirms lowly. 

“What?” You reach out and grab your phone.

“Stay right there.” He orders before hanging up, leaving you staring at the blank screen of your phone in confusion and horror. He wasn’t going to come here, was he?

You were too obedient to do anything but stay in place like he’d instructed but you were still tormented with anxious anticipation. It was one thing to mess around on the phone but something entirely different to take it to the next level. You weren’t entirely sure you wanted to cross that line. 

You heard the heavy thud of footsteps traipsing up the stairs and your whole body froze. The door swung open and a smirking Sam entered the room with a cocky stride. 

“You haven’t moved.” He notes, closing the door behind him and approaching you like a predator closing in on its prey. 

“You told me not to.” You counter. 

“That’s right.” He mutters to himself as he lies back against your headboard. “Come here, sweetie.” He beckons you over and you timidly go over to him, your back pressed against his open chest. 

Sam rests his chin on your shoulder and inhales the scent of you, nuzzling up to the crook of your neck. 

“Lie back for me.” You rest your bare self against him completely, slotting in between his legs. “Just like that. Now I’m going to show you how it’s done.” 

“But- but you said if I did it myself then you wouldn’t.” You whined.

“I know doll but you didn’t do it right, did you?” He traced his hand down your slit and wasted no time before gathering the slick with two fingers and plunging them inside you. 

“Sam!” You mewl at the unexpected intrusion. 

“Shut up.” He curls his fingers and your eyes roll to the back of your head. You look down at the silver rings glimmering on his fingers, now sheathed inside you. 

“You’re so soft and squishy.” He laughs mockingly, plunging his slender fingers in and out roughly. “And squelchy too. You hear that?” He speeds up for a moment to emphasise the lewd sounds of your wet pussy, arousal dripping down his hand already. 

“You’re gonna let me play with you.” He fucks his fingers in and out of you with brutal precision. “Because that’s what big brothers do- and good little sisters listen.” 

“But Sammy, it’s wrong.” You moan and he clamps your mouth shut with a big open hand before you can voice any more protests.

“You make the mistake of thinking I care what you want.” He palms your breast and takes your nipple between his fingers, squeezing at it hard. “You’re my little toy. A thing to play with. You understand?” You nod as much as you’re able to considering the state of delirium you had fallen into. 

“Stop squirming and take it.” He slaps your breast harshly before sticking his thumb in your mouth; you suckle at it messily, drool dripping on your chin and down your cleavage. 

“Too-too much Sam.” You wail, thighs shaking and closing in around his veiny arm. 

“I don’t think so.” He yanks his fingers out so that he can force your legs open with both hands, pulling them apart as far as they could go before dipping his creamy fingers back in. 

“Do you know what squirting is, baby?” He asks you calmly, deriving a sick pleasure out of compelling you to speak when you were clearly falling apart. 

“Y-yes.” You choke out breathily. 

“How?” He raises an eyebrow and snakes a hand around your neck. “Has my little sis been a slut?”

“No, no, I promise.” You shake your head desperately. 

“How then? Been watching things you shouldn’t have?” He cocks his head around to face you and you shyly nod in response. “Ah, I thought so. That’s very naughty of you, sweetheart.” He chastises you, admiring how he’d turned you into a panting, dishevelled mess in no time at all. 

His fingertips brushed against an undiscovered spongy spot inside you and your toes curled at the blazing sensation. You entered a trance and soon after you heard a wet gushing that spilled out and drenched your thighs and sheets. 

“Such a good girl.” He kissed the side of your face sloppily. “Knew you could do it.” 

You peered down and saw that his broad, veined forearm was dripping- creamy wetness dribbling from his fingertips. 

“I-I did that?” You panted, confused. 

“Sure did, baby. All you.” He started rubbing circles into your clit and you threw your head back onto his shoulder. 

“Sam, what are you doing?” You whined, head spinning with the mind-numbingly good way he was playing with you. 

“I’m not done with my little toy.” He massages your swollen pussy, callous fingertips stroking against the delicate nub with dizzying speed. “Cum on my fingers, baby, cum all over them.” 

You came undone, whimpering and crying out so loud the walls vibrated. Sam chuckled at the sight, looking down at your fucked out expression with cocky pride. 

“We’re home!” Your mother’s voice rang out as the front door shut with a resounding slam and you scrambled to get dressed. Just as she climbed upstairs to reach your room, you’d gotten your dress back on- albeit backwards. 

“Oh, hey Sam.” She peered in, noticing him sitting on the chair by your desk and he waved at her with a thin smile. “Did you get the milk like I asked?” 

“Must’ve slipped my mind.” He shrugged and she rolled her eyes. 

“Everything slips your mind, sometimes I wonder if there even is a mind to speak of.” 

“Mom!” You screwed your face up at her, hating how she and Sam bickered. 

“What? He forgets everything.” She waves her hand in the air dismissively, about to head out the door before your dress caught her eye. “Is that a new way of wearing it that I don’t know about?” You look down as she points at the inside-out fabric. 

“Yeah, mom. Contrast stitching is all the rage.” You nod persuasively. 

“I’m getting old.” She sighs. “But it’s nice to see you two hanging out.” 

“Oh we’re a regular Bonnie and Clyde.” Sam smirks and you laugh nervously, hoping she wouldn’t read too much into the strange comparison. 

As soon as she’s gone, Sam shoots you a dark stare, lust infusing his eyes once again. 

“You’re lucky they got back home when they did. I would’ve ruined you.” He remarks casually and you shuffle in your seat uncomfortably, burning under his intense gaze. 

“You already did.” You gulp at his thinly veiled threat.

“Oh baby, you have no idea.” 

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[hauntedhokage]

miscommunication

summary: Toge's been distant, you finally confront him to find out why

word count: 2.5k

warnings: explicit sexual content (minors dni), emotional conflict, Inumaki uses his cursed speech

note: for my beloved @silverrings-n-prettythings who drew some inspirational Inumaki art. Ily bbygirl

It felt like with every day that passed, he’d become more distant. Late nights that were once spent talking about the future, kisses exchanged between soft touches and other intimate gestures that replaced the words that he couldn’t use himself, turned into nights spent apart with you going to bed alone and waking up with cold sheets and a note. Did he love you anymore? You weren’t sure, and that uncertainty hurts more. The anxiety that came with waiting for that shoe to drop - waiting for the note written in his messy handwriting that tells you that he didn’t love you and wanted to separate. 

What would you do if it came to that? A life without him didn’t feel like something that you could do, considering the way he’d steadily been a constant in your life over the past year. Nobody made tea the way he did, or knew exactly how to scratch the itch at the base of your scalp when it was bothering you. Squeezes of your hand in his when you were feeling anxious, how it felt to be wrapped around him after a particularly rough mission - the despair you felt when he left, and the relief when he returned. 

These things all became constants, things you’d come to expect like the sun rising in the east and setting in the west. Your sunrise was Inumaki Toge; morning, afternoon, midday and the evenings - but you’re worried that the sun was beginning to set on your relationship. You didn’t think it was fair for him to just distance himself, not even try to talk to you about what was bothering him that he’d feel the need to do this to you. Even with his limited verbal communication ability, you’d spend hours on the couch texting back and forth or learning sign language to develop something that was more efficient than texting and note writing. 

Tonight was worse than any other night, only because you’d had plans. Plans made in advance; plans to stay in and have a nice dinner, play some silly board and card games, and then cuddle up for a movie or two. Plans that he was now two hours late for, plans that had you sitting at a dinner table with two plates of a dinner that was a blend of his and your favorite dishes. Dinner that was now about as cold as you’re Toge felt about you, dinner that had you crying as you stood to pick up the plates that clearly wouldn’t be touched tonight. To punish yourself; you’d probably eat the leftovers for a couple days, reminding yourself that Toge would rather do anything but share a meal with you. 

The front door opening has you slamming the fridge shut, and you’re making eye contact with your boyfriend as he takes his shoes off. Your obvious emotional state has him immediately concerned, closing in on you to try and assess the situation until your hands smack him away to put some space between you both. 

“You don’t get to pretend to care after missing game night for the third week in a row.” Your statement has his eyes widening, phone coming out of his pocket while his other hand pulls his collar down. “Don’t even bother, Toge, I get it. You don’t love me anymore and you’re tired of pretending, so you don’t have to pretend anymore! And to think I started taking sign language classes just for you to…”

You turn away as his fingers start to rapidly tap against the screen, needing to clean up the table and finish cleaning the kitchen. The whole time, though, you can’t stop talking at him. Telling him that you know he thinks you’re more of a burden because you don’t have any cool talents like his, that you must be overbearing since you like to know his schedule, how awful you most be to be around that he never wants to be home when you are or spend time with you. Those kinds of things that you’re not even sure where it all had been bottled up but you do hear his frantic tapping behind you as he tries to respond only to have to pause, backspace a bunch, and type some more. 

You catch him gesturing, frantic “tuna, tuna” leaving him while he tries to show you his screen, but you keep your gaze fixed on the task before you because you fear that if you look at him you’ll start crying. You didn’t want to cry when you were trying to yell at him for putting off breaking up with you, that would make you look more pathetic to him than you’re sure you already did.

“Please stop.” 

Two words uttered so softly yet full of desperation have you freezing, though you’re sure even without the cursed speech you’d be frozen at the sound of Toge’s using words that weren’t his usual safe words. You’re afraid to even look at him, but you face that fear as you turn to face him and the phone extended towards you with a screen full of words intended for you to read. 

“Toge?”

“Please,” he whispers again, angling the phone towards you in a silent plea for you to take it and let him defend himself. You do; your fingers grazing against his as you take the device into you hand with your thumb tapping the screen out of habit to keep the screen awake. 

I love you so much. 

I’m so afraid that I’ll let something slip and hurt you by accident so I’ve been trying to stay away while figuring out words that can be safe for us to use together. 

Didn’t know that my distance would hurt you

I’m so sorry

“Toge,” you whisper, nearly dropping his phone in your rush to pull him into your arms. Tears burn at your eyes while you feel his dampen the skin of your neck, his arms tight around your waist to keep you pressed flush against him - as if you could be apart from him after this. “Don’t you ever try to hide from me again.”

“Salmon,” is mumbled into your neck, and you give your own nod before you pull back to kiss his cheek.  A kiss to your cheek becomes a kiss on your lips, Toge’s mouth carefully coaxing yours open to allow him the opportunity to deepen the kiss. You feel small shockwaves along your tongue as it brushes against his, the sensation caused by his cursed markings sorely missed by you in the period of distance he’d forced between you now a source of comfort and a reminder that he was with you again and just as desperate for your touch as you were for his with the way his mouth worked against yours. Your back hits something sturdy, you think it’s probably the fridge but don’t have time to think too much about it because Toge is bringing your leg up to rest on his hip to press the growing tent in his pants to your core in search of friction that would bring pleasure to you both. 

“T-Tore,” you breathe when he pulls back, watching as his eyes search the space beside your head for something while keeping himself pressed against you. When he finds it, he’s reaching for it, and you recognize that it’s one of the magnet strips with pre printed statements on it that he’d been searching for. This one had been originally something unimportant to your life with Toge, so you’d used a label maker to make it something that would have real purpose in your home.

Would you like to fuck? Stares at you in bold black font, the smiley face after bringing a smile to your own face as you take the magnet from him to slap on the fridge above your head before you’re kissing him again. It’s not a kiss that lasts long before he’s pulling away, slowly lowering himself to his knees before you and pulling at your pants and underwear as he goes. 

He only bothers to free one of your legs from its confinement, bringing it to rest over his shoulder so he could be close to your core, his eyes closing as he takes a deep inhale of your scent. It was clear that he’d missed you just as much as you’d been missing him, the pure relief that you see in his relaxing features bringing a new wave of calm through your body. He was here, he was happy, any doubt that may have lingered regarding whether or not he wanted to be with you is calmed in this moment - only to be replaced with the sparks that come with the feeling of his tongue against your clit. With the way his cursed markings seemed to vibrate against your skin, it’s like you feel him in your skin in all the best ways while his fingers carefully probe your wet slit. 

“Toge,” you whine, your hand in his hair while your other hand grips the handle of the refrigerator door. “Please, no marathons.”

That earns you a displeased grunt against your clit, but he had to understand that his forced distance was the reason why you needed him to go easy on you. But you continue to stare at him, eyes locked on his own as you push his hair back away from his forehead until he gives a more affirmative grunt with a nod that would serve as his agreement that he would not intentionally seek to overstimulate you like he typically enjoyed doing. 

Two of his slender fingers ease into your cunt, the wet sound so loud in your ears but drowned out by the loud groan Toge let out when he got a taste of how wet you were already. His tongue moves eagerly around your clit, the cursed appendage rolling around the sensitive bud in tight circles while his lips maintain a tight suction that keeps you clenching around his fingers as they fuck you. You’re not sure what is louder; your moans of pleasure, Toge’s moans and groans of delight, or the sinful squelching of your wet pussy being attacked from the inside and outside by your attentive lover’s hand and mouth. His eyes open, the look he gives you full of pure adoration as he opens his mouth to press the pulsing flat of his tongue against your clit as his fingers continue their fast strokes inside your cunt. 

“Cum for me,” is mumbled against your clit, the command forcing your eyes closed as your body tightens up around him while he does his best to keep you upright and prevent injury. Your pleasured cry is music to his ears as his tongue laps at your throbbing clit to try and keep you on the edge of overstimulation. You said no marathon, you didn’t say he couldn’t use his cursed speech and that loophole was an unfair advantage you’d truly scold him for later. 

“You’re cheating,” you scold; voice nothing more than a whisper as you push his head away from your core, pouting down at him as he grins, his free hand massaging your thigh that rest on his shoulder as he brings his fingers to his mouth. Your leg is carefully removed from his shoulder, and he’s carefully pulling you down to the floor to sit with him. There’s a delightful awkwardness in trying to get each other undressed while sitting on the kitchen floor, and it all reaches its intended outcome when Toge is carefully lying you back against the cold tile of the kitchen floor. Your feeble attempt at an offer to reciprocate the oral pleasure you’d received is met with a shake of his head as he settles between your spread legs, his fingers trailing along your slit before you feel the blunt tip of his cock trying to make its entrance. 

Your hands settle on his chest as he kisses you, his length working its way into your neglected pussy. You feel his groan rattle his chest, the sound reverberating through your mouth with the additional hum of his cursed energy overwhelming your senses. He’s all that matters to you at this moment, the slow grind of his hips into yours to keep close as he savors this reunion. His pace is slow, hard strokes pressing deep into your core and sending waves of pleasure along your spine as your hands move to clasp at the back of his neck. 

“I missed you,” you whisper, a statement that has him frowning, an apology in his eyes that has you regretting your honesty only momentarily before he’s smiling again as he shakes his head. Everything was going to be okay, you know that and trust in that. He sits up slightly, his hands taking your thighs in his hands and pushing them back towards your chest to allow for closer contact. He’s checking only momentarily to make sure you’re okay, the nod on your end allowing him to continue with his forceful thrusts. 

“T-Toge,” you gasp, the deeper angle forcing the wind out of you as he rests his forehead against yours. The only sound that follows is the sound of skin on skin with his hard thrusts, the primary soundtrack to your lovemaking as his mouth leaves yours in face of kissing along your face down to your neck to that spot that made you squirm as you feel yourself approaching the cusp of your orgasm. He knows you’re close, the pace of his strokes slowing down to try and force you to hold out for him. He wouldn’t dare tell you to wait, and you’re relieved when he whispers in your ear for you to cum for him. The cry that leaves you has him smiling against your cheek, his own groans flooding your ears as he finds his own release inside your pussy. 

He finally pulls out, moving to lay on his side beside you and gently stroking your cheek as he smiles at you before poking your nose and getting a giggle out of you that has him chuckling. In return, you reach out to poke his nose, which results in a poke competition as you’re both laughing until your arm gets tired. Your eyes close, relief washing over your system at the fact that you still had Toge, he still loved you and wanted to be with you, but his need to protect you from himself had him doing something stupid and not communicating his fears. That would need to be discussed when you weren’t naked on the kitchen floor.

There’s a gentle nudge to your side, and your eyes open to see Toge sitting up and looking down at you with a fond smile while nudging you with his knee. There’s a head nod towards the hallway that led to your bedroom, you know he’s trying to get you either to the bedroom to rest on a more comfortable surface than the kitchen tile. 

“Get into bed.”

“You’re a menace!” And you’re standing, Toge taking your hand in his own so he could walk with you to the bedroom. 

[rainy-day-gracie]

- bloodlust - general marcus acacius x wife!reader

content warnings: shameless and utter filth, discussion/description of periods, mentions of pregnancy, pre-established relationship (married couple), soft!dom marcus acacius because he is husband, unprotected piv sex, rough sex, bondage (wrists and ankles), fingering, spanking (not a punishment), begging, verbal reaffirmed consent, praise kink, dirty talk, use of the word 'whore' as a compliment, discussions of canon typical violence, this man is a SLUTTT and we love him so much, porn with feelings <3

summary: Your cycle comes a month into your marriage to General Marcus Acacius, and he knows how to make you feel better.

a/n: so hi. this is the first fic i've released in four years, and my first time writing full smut before. i've never written for any of pedro's characters before but i've been reading them for a loooong time now, so hopefully this is up to standard! please be kind, i'm just a girl tryna write nasty smut.

______

"Shit, shit, shit," you whisper, despite the fact there is no shit at all. Only blood.

"Why have you not come to bed, my darling wife?" Marcus calls, not seeing the bloodied rag that you quickly hide in the wash bin.

Not meeting his eye, you leave the washroom, crossing over to the bed but making no move to tuck into it. Marcus strolls behind you, wrapping his broad arms around your waist. He wasn't aware, but the pressure of his hands on your belly perfectly eased the incessant cramping that has burdened you all day.

"I'm not sure I'll find sleep tonight," you answer, rolling over how to break the news of your cycle's arrival to him.

As far as you understand, husbands do not want to know about or deal with the monthly cycles of their wives, the cramping stomachs, the wicked mood swings, and least of all, the blood that taints the innermost parts of the woman. It's evidence of vulnerability, something that is out of the control of both the wife and husband-- and above all else, a gross imperfection in their respectable brides.

“You wish to sleep elsewhere?” Marcus mumbles, kissing your shoulder delicately.

“No, it is not that, Marcus,” you breathe, exhaling as he traced his mouth against your neck, sending shivers along your skin. “I just… I don’t want…”

Marcus stepped back abruptly, and you turned to face him. He looked almost… guilty. “I understand, I apologize if I made it seem as if I expected... if I forced myself onto—“

“My cycle started today,” you blurt out, unable to see your fierce general appear solemn for a moment longer. You cast your eyes to the ground, picking at the skin around your nails.

Heat rose to your cheeks, and you stammer, “i-it started just now. I was never going to keep it hidden, but I was- am, simply embarrassed. You have hopes for a child, and I have not full filled that desire of yours. Women’s cycles are not desirable, and can be quite a burden—“

Marcus speaks your name with such softness that you halted your rambling, and looked up at him again.

Warm brown eyes meet yours, and where you had expected to see anger or disgust, there was only sympathy, and… amusement. He took your fiddling hands, lacing his fingers within yours.

“You must understand me,” he spoke gently. “There is no need for embarrassment, or fear. Your cycles are evidence that your body feels at ease in our marriage, that you are properly fed, fucked, and cared for. We have only been married a month, and I do not expect immediate heirs, or heirs at all if you do not wish for them. There is no desire of mine that is not satisfied in this union, for I have a beautiful wife that carries herself with grace, and elegance, and matches my taste for occasional debauchery.”

You giggle, a bashful smile creeping onto your lips.

“There it is, that smile I breathe for.”

You grin fully, and squeeze his palms in yours. “You are too kind to me, Marcus. While you speak that my cycle is nothing to be embarrassed about, I do not expect you to share my bed tonight, or for the next few. I’m sure you know how… messy, it can sometimes be. I wouldn’t wish to sully the sheets, or you, for that matter.”

Marcus peers at you, looking between your eyes like he was searching for something. A ghost of a smirk graced his lips.

His grip on your hands moved closer to your wrists, and tightened slightly, not enough to hurt but enough to keep you still. He brings your wrists up, holding them again your chest.

Adjusting his hold on you slightly, he keeps one palm wrapped around your wrists while the other hand reaches for the silken rope tied around his toga. Deftly, he undoes the rope, letting his toga come loose.

“Marcus, wh— what are you doing?” You asked, pulse quickening as he wrapped the rope nimbly around your wrists, tying them together while keeping plenty of slack at the end of the line.

“I wish to see for myself just how messy and sullying my wife can become,” he said, holding your gaze. “Unless you do not want me to?”

The thrill of having his hands on you like this, the silken rope of his toga binding your arms, and the lust brewing in his eyes like a dark storm… jolts of unfiltered want shoot downward, through your chest, belly, all the way into your core.

Swallowing, you nod.

Marcus walks you backward, pushing you by the wrists until your thighs meet the edge of the bed.

“Lie down, and put your hands up towards the frame of the bed,” Marcus commanded.

The general’s eyes held not the doting love of a husband, but the steely determination of a conqueror. The eyes of a warrior, a dominating force of nature, a man capable of ruination.

Desire wracked your body, and you tried to keep from trembling as you obeyed his command.

For the month of your marriage, the general had only ever been gentle with you, in both words and actions. At no point had you ever seen for yourself the fearsome general his reputation preceded him as.

But as he loomed over you now, shedding his toga and laurels, pinning you with his conqueror's eyes... this was the general the world whispered about like a god of war.

"You know what is so amusing about you, wife?" Marcus wondered aloud, moving to straddle you on the bed. Even though you were still fully dressed, and he fully nude except for a tented loincloth, he made you feel as if you'd never been more exposed with those dark eyes of his.

"What is?" You mumbled, breath catching in your throat as he reached up to tie your hands to the headboard.

Tightening the ropes, he continued on with his cavernous rasp. "I am a man that commands armies, orders slaughters, and washes his hands with the blood of men," he drawled, tilting his head to peer at you. Your blood pumped so fast through your body; his discerning stare made you wonder if he could truly hear every beat of your heart, feel every jolt of desire wracking your cunt.

Marcus pulled on the ropes binding you, shaking your wrists against the headboard. You yelped at the sudden movement, anticipation heightening your senses to every small shift.

Another dark smirk crossed his lips. "I have killed more men than I can count, and yet... you think I would shy away from a little bloodshed."

A full whimper escaped your lips at his words, blush rising to your cheeks at his knowing, devilish grin.

"Do I frighten you?" He questioned softly, glancing at your lips, your heaving chest, the pulse in your neck.

"No," you breathed.

"If you want me to stop, you will not be afraid to tell me so?"

A shake of your head. "I will tell you if I need to stop."

"Good girl."

And he melded his lips to yours.

Marcus captured your lips to his like an immortal, like he had all the time in the world. Brutal, powerful, unyielding, but slow, as if he were savoring every moment. His kiss left you breathless, needier for him by the moment, and you were already pulling on the bondage binding your wrists.

So caught up in his kiss, you forgot about his hands, and all they were capable of.

As Marcus sunk his teeth into your bottom lip, drawing a trace of blood, he ripped your stola open to reveal your peaked breasts, your nipples perking in the cold night air.

His hands immediately reached for your tits, more swollen than usual due to your cycle. His lips traced down your exposed throat, pinching your nipples slightly. A high-pitched moan escaped you, and your soaking, bloody core clenched around nothing.

"I never thought my wife capable of such sounds, but I suppose my devilry has rubbed off on you," he mumbled into your neck, marking you with teeth and tongue. The only response you could give is another unfiltered moan as he twisted your sensitive nipples again. "Such beautiful sounds you make when I am rough with you."

You gaped for breath as he sat up onto his knees once more, trailing his calloused fingers down your breasts, along your ribcage, and gripped the rip in the center of your dress.

"Shall we see what bloodlust has done to you, hm?"

Like parchment, he tore your dress completely in half, exposing your heated cunt to him. On instinct, you closed and curled your legs, hiding your wet and bloody core.

Marcus chuckled, wrapping a hand around each of your ankles in their curled position on the bed. "Pretty girl thinks she can hide from me. How cute."

Your legs tensed as he pulled them apart, your instinct to fight his advances taking over.

And a small, devilish part of you wanted to know what he would do if you tried to deny him what he so clearly wants.

"You're fighting me now?" He mused, easily prying your legs wide, his hold on your ankles unshakable.

His knees moved to rest on top of your thighs, not painful, but certainly keeping you pinned.

It distracted you for a moment where you missed the two long ropes that had appeared in his hands, the same silken rope that he uses to tie togas with.

Now, he glances up at you, not lustfully, but with a firmness, serious. "Is this something you want?"

Understanding what he meant, you swallowed and nodded. "Yes, I want this. Anything you have to give me... I want it. I want you."

Marcus groaned at the words, wrapping each of your ankles with the silken rope, and binding them to the posts of the bed.

Cool air hit your core, and you throw your head back against the pillows with both relief and slight delicious humiliation.

Knelt on the bed above you, Marcus studied your cunt with tunnel-vision focus. The world could erupt in flames around the two of you, and he wouldn't even notice.

"You've had me fooled all this time, my darling."

The rasp of desire in his voice made your toes curl.

"Here I was thinking that I could not possibly deserve a woman of such purity, such virtue," he murmured, as if he were speaking only to himself. "I believed you an angel, a nymph, a maiden of innocence, untouched by sin, or lust, but... it seems I was wrong."

He traces a finger delicately along your wet folds, making you whine with impatience. Your ankles strained against their bondage, the ropes holding firm against your skin.

You try to lift your hips, pathetically trying to create more friction against his rough fingertips, but to no success. He chuckles at the attempt, keeping his touch light against your aching cunt.

"Please... please, Marcus," you moan, chest heaving.

He cocks his head innocently and removed his finger from your skin. "Please... what?"

"Please touch me," you beg, meeting his eyes again. "Please touch me, general."

Any amusement falls from his face, replaced fully by that conqueror's gaze, the last face so many men see before they die.

Marcus plunges two fingers deep into your heated cunt, and you cry out in pleasure, desperate for more. He hooks his skilled fingers inside of you, searching for that one spot that will take you to Olympus and back.

"I was promised a noble lady as a wife," Marcus hums, pulling his fingers out of your weeping cunt slightly, "and somehow, I got a bloody whore instead, begging me to ruin her like I do battlefields."

Your cunt clenches around his fingers as he thrust back inside of you, pushing against that sweet spot of pleasure. He groans as you gush around him, pressure building at the bottom of your belly. "There it is."

The pace of his hand inside of you was brutal, punishing, and you moan and cry out, shameless. Your wrists and ankles ached deliciously, keeping you exposed, spread wide for your husband, your general.

The tipping point of your pleasure was so close, if he only were to have a bit of mercy and allow you to reach it.

"Please, general, I'm--"

He pushes in a third finger, not slowing down his pace for you to adjust.

"What is it, my darling whore?"

"I am so close, so close, please--" you whine, back arching off the bed.

As you suspected, his mercy does not come easily.

"Beg me for it," he commands, "beg for it like you would beg for your life. Beg me to finish you."

Your words come out strained with desperation. "Please, general, please, please finish me... I need it, I need you to finish me, I am so close... I'll be so good for you, general, please just finish me--"

A calloused thumb presses into your clit, and you go taut with desire. Your back arches off the bed, and your ankles pull tight against their ropes. High pitched moans escape from the depths of your throat, your cunt pulsing with relief.

He continued curling his fingers inside of you for several minutes after you finish, drawing out the release for as long as he can. It isn't until you whimper with sensitivity that he withdraws and moves to untie each of your bound limbs.

Exhaustion creeps over you, your hands and feet falling limply into the bed as he undoes the ropes and throws them onto the floor.

Propping himself onto his side, he leans over to kiss you again. This kiss was light, and loving.

"You did so well, my darling wife," Marcus praises, moving to kiss the top of your forehead. "You did perfectly."

You glance down at his groin, a tall tent risen in his loincloth. Guilt pangs at you. "You haven't--"

"I don't need to, this was about you," he says gently. "I can do it--"

"I am your wife, am I not?" You ask, your palm feather-light on his untouched cock.

He jolts from the simple touch. "Y-you are."

You lean towards him, lips brushing against his, sharing each other's breath. "A wife should serve her husband in the bedroom, should she not?"

Fast as a serpent, Marcus grips you by the shoulder, pushing you face-down into the bed. Mercifully, he leaves your hands free, and slides a folded pillow underneath your hips to allow pressure on your cramping abdomen. But this angle... your sensitive core clenches again, anticipating his cock pushing inside of you.

"Bless the gods for giving you to me," Marcus groans, not wasting a moment before the head of his cock traces up and down your already-fucked-out heat. "Your blood is mine, your desire is mine, you are mine."

A wanton moan releases from your lips as he pushes into you, the downward angle taking him deeply.

He grips your hips hard enough to leave light imprints and fucks you roughly.

"You are mine, as I am yours," he moans, his pace brutal and possessive. "It would not matter if you were a whore, or a lady, or a devil, because you are my wife."

You reach below you, propping yourself onto all fours as he pushes against your cervix and sweet spot with his godlike cock.

"You are mine, h-husband," you pant, arching your back for him, and pressing your hips harder into the pillow below. Gods, he was in your fucking stomach. "As I am yours."

You yelp in delight as he brings his hand down onto your ass, once, then twice. It sent thrills down your spine, clenching your cunt around him.

"The general and the lady," he moans, his hips beginning to lose their rhythm as he nears his edge. "The killer and the whore."

You laugh lightly, nearing the same edge but needing something else from him.

"Hit me again, please," you beg, cheeks heating. "I need it, please... hit me again."

Marcus had to hold himself back from finishing inside of you at your dirty request.

Breathless whines left you as he brought his rough hand down on you again, the sting of his killer's palm making your core gush.

Again, and again, and again, until tears streamed down your cheeks, and with each slap of his hand against your ass, angry red handprints remained in their wake.

At the delicious pain of his palms on your skin, and the unyielding pleasure of his cock pushing against your cervix, you finish with a prolonged moan, clenching around him until he reaches a breaking point.

Spilling inside of you, he pants heavily. "You are... divine."

Collapsing into the pillows with exhaustion, you smile, utterly giddy. "You flatter me, general."

Marcus cleans you up with a spare rag, blood and the remnants of your lust staining the fabric.

As soon as he falls into bed next to you, blessed sleep takes you both into dreams. Dreams of each other.

----

let me know if you enjoyed it!!

forehead kisses all around ,

gracie

[fatkish]

Hi hi! I really love reading through all of your mha x inner child fanfics, theyve honestly helped a lot lol.

I was wondering if I could request Present Mic with (his) child reader after an unsuccessful suicide attempt? They attempted to go out by hanging but were saved at the last moment, so their throat is in complete pain. Just maybe some comfort and angst in his eccentric, silly ways, not wanting reader to hurt more but still hurting himself lol (but feel free to spin this however you want!).

(TRIGGER WARNING: Please note that the following contains sensitive content: attempts at suicide, self harm, mental abuse directed at oneself. Please be warned and don’t read if you are not in the right mindset to do so. This is a comfort fic aimed at comforting those who have dealt with or felt like this at one point)

Present Mic x Child Reader: Perfect to Me

You had been born Quirkless. The media had a field day with the news of the Voice Hero: Present Mic’s own child being quirkless. It was hard enough to be quirkless, but when everyone knew your father had a strong quirk, it made things even harder. You were always compared to him by your peers and even some of your teachers. You got bullied relentlessly by other kids. No one wanted to be your friend and the teachers would turn a blind eye to it all.

The kids would say things like ‘I bet you’re actually adopted and Present Mic is just too much of a hero to get rid of you’ ‘your dad must be super embarrassed his kid is quirkless and a loser’ ‘if no one knew you were his kid then he’d probably get rid of you’ your dad’s a lame hero so it makes sense he’d keep a quirkless kid’. The other kids always said things about how your dad must be putting up an act and probably just sees you as a charity case.

The teachers were bad too. ‘I can’t even imagine having a quirkless child’ ‘imagine how it must be having a child like that’ ‘the poor man is probably so stressed all the time, worried about his kid’ ‘it must be so disappointing to find out your kid is quirkless’. The teachers would whisper about how it must be such a burden to raise a quirkless child. They spoke rumors about you being his illegitimate child and that he’s probably only kept you to make himself look good.

You never told Mic about anything anybody said. You knew he loved you, you’re his whole world… right? After a few years of torment and bullying from other kids you started to doubt yourself and your father. You started to believe that you were just a burden on Mic and that he’s only putting up a loving act. He’s your dad, so of course he’s supposed to love you, plus he’s a hero, so how much of his love is really true and not just stuff he’s supposed to say. How do you know if your dad actually cares for you or only tells you this because he’s a good person and is just being nice?

Eventually in 5th grade when you were 11, you couldn’t take it anymore. You truly believed that your dad was only trying to make you feel better about being quirkless. You believed that you were a burden and that your dad would be better off without you to look after. One day, you decided to skip school and returned home after your dad left. You had been planning this for some time. You had grabbed an old 10ft phone charger cord and tied one end into a slipknot and tied the other to a wooden beam in the kitchen. You decided to write your dad a note before taking your life. You then stood up on a chair and slipped the cord around your neck before kicking away the chair.

Mic had been halfway on his way home from UA because he realized that he forgot some of his students English papers that he graded. He got a call from one of your few nice teachers who informed him that you weren’t at school. He had seen you leave this morning so he knows that you left, were you skipping school? Why? Guess he’ll ask you when he gets home. He pulled into the driveway and parked before exiting and locking his car. He unlocked his front door and entered the house, closing the door behind him before calling out your name.

“(Y/n)? You home? I’m not mad, I left some papers that I had graded on the kitchen table. C’mon, let’s have a talk, I’m sure you have a reason for skipping scho— Oh God NOOOOO!”

As Mic had walked from the living room, through the dining room and into the kitchen, he paused when his eyes took in the sight of your body nearly limp and hanging with a cord around your neck. The moment he saw it he ran to you and grabbed a knife to cut the cord. The moment he did, your limp body fell into his arms.

“Oh my god, my sweet baby, no. Please, (y/n) baby, please don’t be dead, please don’t die on me, Daddy’s here now, Daddy’s got you, come back to me baby” Present Mic cried as he cradled your body and dialed the emergency number for an Ambulance. While he stayed with you, he saw the note and grabbed it, when the paramedics arrived they got to work getting oxygen into you and had to stick a tube down your windpipe to get oxygen into your lungs. Mic rode in the Ambulance with them as he called Shota and let him know what was happening. Shota then told Nedzu what happened.

While you were being treated, Mic pulled the note out and read it.

Dear Dad,

I’m sorry that you had to find me like this. I know it’s a burden having to deal with and care for a quirkless child and that dealing with my death is just more of a burden. I’m sorry I’m quirkless, I know that you always say it’s okay but you don’t have to lie anymore. I know you must have been disappointed when I didn’t get a quirk and I’m so sorry. Thank you for taking such good care of me even though it must have been an immense burden. Thank you for being a kind and loving father even if it was just an act. I love you so much and I’m sorry that you had to endure living with me for so long. But that’s all over now so you can rest now. Thank you for everything and thank you for putting up with me. You’re my hero.

-Love,

(Y/n)

Hizashi had tears rolling down his cheeks when Shota got to the hospital and found him sitting in a hallway outside your door. When Shota took the note and read it, he too, shed some tears.

“W-why? Why didn’t they tell me Sho? Why didn’t they say anything? Do they really believe that I don’t love them? What did I do wrong?!?”

“Shh, I know Zash, I know. This isn’t on you, this isn’t your fault”

“My baby is dead?!? Sho! How am I- what am I gonna do, how am I supposed to deal with this?”

As Hizashi cried to Shota, one of the nurses exited your room.

“Excuse me, Mr. Yamada, your child is awake now. We’ve put them on the Suicide watch and a psychoanalytic will be visiting with them later to determine what caused this and what the best course of treatment for them is. You can go in now and see them” the nurse moved aside and motioned towards the door.

Hizashi immediately jumped to his feet and ran inside the room only to stop and stare at you. You had your head down and your hands in your lap as you sat in the hospital bed under the sheets wearing a hospital gown. Tears swelled in his eyes as he realized you were alive. Hearing and seeing the beats on the heart monitor was a relief to him. He ran over to you swallowing you up in his arms as he cried.

“Oh (y/n) my sweet baby, you’re alive, I was so scared don’t you ever do that again you hear me! I love you so much, I’m so happy you’re alive. No matter what anyone says or thinks, you’re perfect to me. Just the way you are. Quirk or no quirk, you will always be my sweet baby. I love you so much”

Hizashi cried as he hugged you and cradled you in his arms. He kept rubbing his forehead into your shoulder. You carefully removed his glasses and put them aside as you kissed his forehead.

“Dad I’m-“

“No no, shhh… it’s okay, explanations can come later. If you don’t want to talk about it right now then we don’t have to, I’m just so grateful that you’re alive. Promise me you’ll talk to me before you ever do this again, please”

“I promise”

“Pinky promise”

You looked at the serious look and your dad’s face as he held his pinky finger out to you. You couldn’t help but smile at his silly antics and linked your pinky with his.

“I promise”

“Okay good.”

After that, Hizashi crawled into the bed with you as you sat on his lap and snuggled into his arms. Shota sat in the chair to the side and smiled at you.

The following week was filled with snuggles and eating junk food while watching movies. When you got home after the suicide watch ended, your dad surprised you by letting you go to UA with him and letting you do your homeschooling there. Nedzu decided that it would be best for you to be in an environment where you would be safe from bullying and what better environment than a school for heroes? You got to stay in the faculty room and did your homework, you got to eat lunch with your dad and he’d show you off to all his coworkers.

Needless to say you still had some doubts but therapy was helping. Your dad loves you and it’s obvious to you now just how much.

[authormars]

I'm so sorry to ask, but what do you think about Luci x extremely Paranoid, depressed, and some kind of "polite but very sarcastic" mc?

And no offense really, i...just...I've been dealing with paranoia and depression for many years, and I really just need a bit comfort. If you don't want to do it, just ignore, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or think I'm some kind of cringe weirdo.

Dude, that MC is basically just me. But of course! I'll take any request, don't worry, you're not a bother

As always, with any of my x MC content, MC is gender neutral!

Lucifer read your file, so he already knew about the depression. He and Diavolo had already agreed upon some accomodations for it. You wouldn't be penalized for missing RAD and all of your work would be online, if you wanted to skip the day or the whole week. They had a therapist on hand, both human and demon, if you wanted someone to talk to, and you were free to ask Satan or Lucifer for help if you were behind on work because you missed an important lecture.

Lucifer kept his distance from you mostly. He was busy man and, outside of your penchant for pacts, really only interacted with you if you came to him or if he needed a report for Diavolo.

That was, until he heard you hadn't come out of your room in days. He had researched depression before signing off on your file for the exchange program, but even this was out of the ordinary. No matter who texted you or knocked on your door, you didn't answer. Eventually, he had to take matters into his own hands.

To say it was terrifying when he busted down your door in demon form is an understatement. You had already been feeling absolutely awful and had barely left your bed outside of grabbing the occasional snack to not die. Thankfully, none of the more high energy (Mammon) brothers were with him.

"MC. Why haven't you been answering your DDD?" Lucifer seemed annoyed to even have to come here, making you feel even worse. You were a burden to him. "I know about your depression, but you must complete at least a little work or at least answer our texts." And now he was scolding you.

"So Pridey McPrideface doesn't ever miss texts on his phone? Or not want to do work?" You snapped at him. You were annoyed and the response slipped out. You immediately regretted it, at the angry expression Lucifer gave you. After a moment, the look softened.

"MC. I understand you don't want to complete your work, but perhaps I can be of service. If you do not understand the material or simply need someone to be with you as you complete it, the door to my office is always open." He seemed to have realized his presence was making you uncomfortable so he retreated to the doorway.

"Just please answer your texts. I haven't heard the end of it from Mammon and you can only string him up for so long before it isn't a real punishment anymore."

After your interaction with him, you slowly became more comfortable with him. He stopped being the scary demon who could and probably would kill you, given the chance, and became something of a friend.

He didn't yell at you when you joined him in his study or office. He didn't get mad when you were failing your classes because you couldn't find the motivation for work. He simply offered to tutor you when he could and he didn't bat an eye when you snapped with a sarcastic comment when you got annoyed.

Lucifer started walking you to class when you felt up to go to RAD. As the walks became more frequent, he started noticing all your fidgets. How you would glance at any demon passing by, as if you were scared one might jump out at you and try and hurt you. He noticed how you would narrow your eyes when he made a statement, as if you didn't trust what he was saying.

Eventually, he worked up the courage to ask you about it. He didn't want to pry, but he wanted to make life in Devildom as good as it could be for you. Your answer was not what he expected.

"Paranoia?"

"Yeah. I mean, I feel like everyone is always watching me. Talking about me. Trying to hurt me. Always plotting against me. Even you. I know it's irrational, but I can't stop it. I'm always on the defensive. No one can be trusted"

"Is there... any way I can help? I want to make your experience as good as it can be here, MC."

"I... I don't know"

"Well, if you think of anything, tell me. I will help in any way I can. I promise you, you can trust me."

Over time, Lucifer slowly learned your triggers. He learned not to assume you knew what he meant or that you trusted him. He made sure never to lie to you. No matter what, he wanted to be someone you can trust.

Wow this was long. Sorry if I strayed off topic or didn't do the request correctly!

If you have any requests for x MC content or Character x Character stuff, feel free to send me an ask. I will write basically anything!

[henghost]

idk if someone's done this post already (it seems so obvious!) but can we talk about how closely taylor's character arc mirrors the three metamorphoses proposed by the titular character in nietzsche's thus spoke zarathustra. (i'll use the kaufmann translation.)

"Of three metamorphoses of the spirit I tell you: how the spirit becomes a camel; and the camel, a lion; and the lion, finally, a child."

taylor is first the camel, a beast of burden; in other words, she is skitter. she "makes friends with the deaf," the undersiders, who don't understand what she really wants. she compromises her virtues (do-gooding) in the name of what zarathustra might call "wretched contentment."

then, beginning with the discovery of dinah, taylor begins a terrible and arduous trek into a spiritual desert, where the second metamorphosis occurs, and taylor becomes a lion. "for ultimate victory [s]he wants to fight with the great dragon" -- literally! for zarathustra, the dragon represents all preexisting virtues, the notions of good and evil that have been developed for millenia. dragon, the ai, represents this very moral rigidity -- and by defeating her taylor completes her transformation into proud unyielding weaver, who will brook no opposition to her, uh, ethically unorthodox methodology. only this blond beast could kill aster.

finally, taylor must become the child to complete her task. "why must the preying lion still become a child? the child is innocence and forgetting, a new beginning, a game, a self-propelled wheel, a first movement, a sacred 'yes.' " she must learn to speak a googoogaga-ass language. (as nietzsche notes in the fifth book of the gay science, what is conventional language but a means of becoming part of the herd.) khepri creates her own values, propels the rest of humanity forward. khepri exists, truly, beyond good and evil. "the spirit now wills [her] own will, and [she] who had been lost to the world now conquers [her] own world." khepri was an arrow of longing who crashed mangled and defeated back to the earth.

thus, taylor fully emblematizes an ontology of becoming. she is a bridge to the overman, and zarathustra will bury her with his own hands.

[cadavercowboy]

To Serve And Neglect

Pairing: Sheriff Lee Bodecker x Reader

Summary: Lee Bodecker doesn't abide by the rule of never bringing your work home with you. He just wants to hang out!

Word Count: 4.5k+

Warnings: Explicit content (18+ only). Description of reader’s clothing. Mentions of stalking. Implied drugging. Kidnapping & imprisonment. Light bondage. Brief use of ‘pup’ & ‘puppy’. Oral sex. Cum eating. Improper handling of a firearm. Dub-con/non-con elements.

A/N: Sorry. Can't explain. Feeling violent.

The strange, unsigned letters arriving each day in your mailbox had been odd. The expensive gifts and veritable garden of bouquets on your porch, a burden. But it is the partially open window — one which your paranoia had prompted you to lock and then check three times before bed last night — that is finally a bridge too far. 

Armed with a shoebox full of evidence and an armful of this morning’s flower delivery, you march through the doors of the police department and demand an audience with the sheriff. The poor deputy seated at the desk observes your irate countenance with a pair of raised brows, unmoving until you repeat your request more firmly. You wait only a few minutes before you’re beckoned down the hallway by a tall, uniformed man who introduces himself as Sheriff Bodecker.

You stride along behind him amidst the sound of your clicking heels and the whooshing of the poofy skirt of your patterned dress, the hem of which brushes the sheriff’s thighs as he invites you to step into the office ahead of him.

As you take a seat, you lay the paper-wrapped roses across his desk and set the overflowing box of stationary and notes alongside them, being careful not to knock the brass nameplate off the wooden surface. With a heaving sigh, Lee — according to aforementioned nameplate — rounds the desk and eases his weight down into a creaky high-backed chair.

“What can I do for you, miss?” he inquires dryly, seemingly uninterested.

Smoothing the soft fabric of your dress along your thighs, you sit up straighter and look the formidable man in the eye. It will do you no favors to appear weak and frightened, even if that is precisely what you are. You hope your feigned strength will make your claim more believable. 

“I need to file a report,” you begin confidently. “I’m being stalked.”

Lee’s eyebrows practically fly up into his hairline and he purses his lips as he contemplates your bold statement. He says nothing for a long moment and you feel yourself deflate slightly beneath his scrutinizing stare. You should have known a man wouldn’t believe your unsubstantiated claim, he’d simply write you off as hysterical.

Before you can accept your fate and leave the office with at least some of your dignity still intact, the sheriff leans forward. He braces his elbows on the desk and folds his hands beneath his chin.

“And all this?” he wonders, flicking a pinky out in the direction of the items you’ve laid out before him.

Hope renewed when he questions the evidence you’ve brought along, you’re quick to lift the top off of the old shoebox to reveal its contents. You aren't sure why you've kept them all, though you're suddenly glad you had. Inside is what must be hundreds of letters, notes, and cards. Of course you hadn’t taken the time to individually count them, but it's obvious the stationary within is numerous. Reaching in, you gather several pieces of paper off the top and hand them to the sheriff who takes the stack rather hesitantly.

“Someone has been sending me all these letters and notes. At first, I thought it was just some sort of practical joke,” you explain. “But what’s written in there…there are things no one could know unless they were…watching me.”

Your throat grows tight and your cheeks warm as you recall some of the things this mystery scribe had written, knowing that Lee now reads them too. The sender had begun to mention events from your daily life that no person could possibly know unless they were with you. As time passed, their letters grew in intensity; complimenting you in an intimate manner, noting various opinions on you and your ‘unbelievable beauty’ and even going so far as to name all the things they’d like to do both to and with you. 

What began simply as a strange correspondence quickly grew eerie and obsessive. They spoke of the sort of subjects you wouldn’t discuss with a close friend let alone reveal to a complete stranger, though you know the impropriety is necessary at this point.

Lee rifles through the letters before reaching into the box himself to explore further. His face is the picture of concentration as he scans each word and gathers an idea of what you’ve been dealing with. In one particular letter he unfolds, you recognize the haphazard state of the scribbled writing and how it appears to have been composed in anger. It is a letter whose inappropriate content you remember well and you feel a sudden need to distract Lee from his perusal.

“And there’s also the flowers,” you offer, fingers tapping on the bouquet’s wrappings. “Every single day, there’s more flowers.”

The sheriff lifts his gaze from the crumpled sheet clutched in his hand and his eyes flick between you and the fresh flowers. His expression reveals nothing as he places the letter on the desk and leans back in his chair.

“So you’ve got a secret admirer.”

You flinch as if you’ve been hit with a physical blow. How could he possibly reduce your predicament to something so innocent and juvenile? Had he even read those letters?

“Sir…with all due respect, I’m concerned for my safety,” you declare. “Some of the more recent letters imply that this creep wants to reveal his identity to me! Look right here, this one especially!”

With a pointed finger, you jab the piece of paper and direct his attention to a letter that is borderline threatening. Sheriff Bodecker inhales sharply and offers a slow nod of his head as he shuffles some of the other discarded stationary across the surface of his desk. Interlocking his fingers, he reclines again and rests his hands across his belly while he regards you. 

“I suppose there are some unsettlin’ things in there,” Lee drawls. “But it all seems rather harmless and unfortunately, there ain’t much I can do if this person hasn’t taken any direct action.”

“They broke into my house,” you admit softly.

You aren’t sure why your voice wavers or your eyes moisten, but you suppose finally admitting it out loud to another person makes it undeniably real. Your stalker’s gifts had made you uncomfortable, but their gall to physically threaten you — no matter how indirect — and leave clear evidence of having done so has shaken you. 

“Broke in?” Lee nearly barks, straightening in his seat. “When was this? Why didn’t you say so?”

You explain the situation to Lee, detailing your certainty that you weren’t responsible for the open window. Having now heard something of substance, he finally takes out a sheet of paper and begins to document everything you’ve told him. You’re relieved that you’re being taken seriously, however Lee’s sudden concern has you even more fearful than before. By the end of your statement, your shoulders slump and your hands vibrate in your lap.

“I’ll have this report filed and send some officers to your address to check everything out,” he assures you as he takes notice of your distressed state. “Can I get you something warm to drink?”

You’re quick to accept the sheriff’s offer, opting for a cup of hot tea which he returns with shortly. He carefully hands the steaming mug over then disappears behind you to shut the office door with a soft click, closing you both off from the rest of the department. Before returning to his place behind the desk, Lee gently rests a large hand on your shoulder, his fingers gliding with ease as he rubs your back reassuringly.

"We'll get this all figured out, honey. Don't you worry."

Lifting the edge of the faded brown ceramic to your lips, you nod your head and take a tentative sip, doing your best not to wince. Although Lee asked how you take your tea, it tastes nothing like you expect. It’s awful, in fact. While the sweet flavor of sugar is present, the scalding liquid carries an underlying and off-putting bitterness. Still, you’re too polite to turn the drink down and so you daintily nurse the unfavorable beverage while Lee reads your statement back to you to ensure he has it exactly right. 

It’s unclear at first whether the fuzzy memory of the sheriff’s office was a dream or if the circumstance you currently find yourself in is one. The pressure of the dirty concrete floor is agonizing against the hardened curve of your bare knees, though it’s nothing compared to the fiery ache which zips along your shoulders. The muscles are tired and over-extended, your arms pulled high above your head where your rope-bound wrists hang from an iron hook on the end of a chain that’s affixed to the ceiling. 

Slipping in and out of consciousness, it’s impossible to know how long you’ve been strung up here like an animal awaiting slaughter. Only that it hasn’t been long enough for your poor muscles to go completely numb yet. Your joints ache mightily and your mouth is uncomfortably dry. You blink to clear your hazy eyes, but even then, your surroundings are totally unfamiliar. 

Pain spears through your shoulders when you shift your weight to look around, spotting very little that helps to identify where you are. A stack of dusty boxes fills one corner and a metal shelf strewn with various tools sits propped against the opposite wall. It’s clear you’re in a small basement, though you have no idea how you got here.

From behind you, a door creaks open and a band of golden light fills the room; growing broader and spanning the length of the cramped cellar before a loud slamming shrouds you back into darkness. Wooden stairs squeak and groan beneath someone of notable heft and your skin prickles as they descend and approach. The distinguishable click of a pull-switch overhead bathes you in a blinding halo of light.

“I could have been so sweet.”

The deep voice comes from right beside you and makes you jump. While its tone sounds vaguely familiar, you’ve yet to fully regain your facilities and it feels as if your ears are full of wet cotton. It's difficult for you to make the connection as to why you recognize it.

Scuffling feet shift and begin to step around you where your body practically dangles from the ceiling. You peer upwards, squinting against the brightness of the bare bulb that shines above you until the stinging in your eyes forces you to lower your gaze back to the floor.

“I gave you so much. So much of myself. So many gifts,” the man continues. “All you had to do was accept them…accept me.”

Your stomach drops and the words hit you like a barreling freight train. Your stalker. Squirming in your binds, you fruitlessly attempt to twist away from the dark figure which slips into your periphery. The movement is painful and when you try to shift your bare feet, you realize your ankles are lashed together with even more rope. A desperate whimper bubbles up in your throat.

“I didn’t ask for much in return. I just wanted you to be mine,” he insists, as if it were a small favor. “Now I won’t give you a choice.”

The man’s words darken with anger and when the light from above is blocked out by the mass of his body, you dare to look at him. Your eyes fall upon a pair of black-booted feet before moving upwards to a pair of dark gray slacks dissected by the tell-tale black line of uniform slacks. A sense of dread spreads like a growing chasm in your belly. 

Following the expanse of a pair of long legs, you observe a standard-issue utility belt and clench your teeth to hold in a frightened sob. If not for his terrifying declaration, the sight of a uniform man would have felt like a relief. You may have thought he was here to help you with your predicament. But given what he’s said, you know his intentions are much more nefarious.

Your eyes seem reluctant to move any further and you spend a long moment observing the yellowed buttons which secure the crisp material of his white shirt. Ultimately, you force yourself to gaze upon the face of your captor, already knowing what horror awaits you.

Even with the expectation of his identity, the revelation of Lee Bodecker’s ice-cold stare is sobering nonetheless. A quivering exhale escapes through your nostrils and you feel your lower lip tremble as he looms above you with an expression of disappointment and impatience.

“Sheriff?” you ask pointlessly, finding it difficult to believe this irrefutable truth.

Lee studies you with something ominous in his demeanor. So smoldering and rife with an indeterminate fire that you can almost feel its heat upon your skin. His eyes hone in on the uncertainty blanketing your face and you notice the ghost of a smirk haunting the corners of his pinkened lips. 

“I didn’t want it to be like this,” he promises, stooping to kneel in front of you.

“Lee, please,” you beg, your voice hoarse. “I didn’t—”

He hushes you right away, furrowing his brows and bringing a single finger to his lips as he shakes his head. You snap your mouth shut and tears begin to well in your eyes. There’s nothing you can say to change his mind, that much is obvious. Your eyes return to the ground with a guilt you’re not sure you should even feel, though Lee’s demand brings your gaze back up.

“Look at me!” he barks impatiently as his hand flies out to cup your chin in his calloused palm. “Keep your eyes on me, just like that.”

You obey out of sheer terror, heart pounding and limbs shaking at the unwavering way he raises his voice. His thumb shifts from your chin to your lower lip where he toys with the soft flesh and presses the finger against your mouth until it grazes against your front teeth.

“If I let you down, will you be good?” Lee asks.

He lifts his chin upwards, gesturing towards your hands over your head. Watching intently, he smirks crookedly when you blink with wet eyes and nod in ardent agreement. The smile does little to offer you much relief or comfort. When Lee stands, you shift anxiously and the links of the chain overhead twist and pop. 

His fingers are rough but warm when he reaches for the rope wrapped tightly around your arms and begins to undo the knots. For a moment, you consider whether an attempt at escape is worthwhile.

You have no desire to stick around and see what Lee intends to do with you, though you’re uncertain if he plans to release your ankles and even provide the opportunity. Given the way your legs tingle, you’re not certain you’re even capable of outrunning him anyway. As if able to read your mind, Lee pauses and levels an admonishing look at you. Taking note of your diminutive expression, he carries on.

With your wrists finally freed, your arms drop to your sides and searing pain mingles with the relief you feel. Fire blazes through your muscles as sensation returns to your limbs and you can’t help crying out.

Lee kneels before you again and gathers each wrist, lifting them up to inspect the indentations left upon your skin. When he leans in and you can see he intends to bring your wounded skin to his lips, you yank yourself away from his grip. The momentum causes you to tip backwards where you catch your weight with your hands and begin — with much difficulty considering your bound ankles — to scoot away from Lee who watches with disapproval.

You make it only a few feet away from him before your back hits the cold, solid wall. Lee stands at his full height, taking the three steps it requires to crowd your space before he speaks.

“Now, I thought we agreed you’d be good,” he chides, his voice eerily flat.

Still following his earlier instruction, your eyes do not leave Lee’s face. Not when he sighs and tilts his head to look down at you like a misbehaved child. And especially not when his right hand drops to the front of his pants where he gropes himself through the starched material of his slacks. Even when a low groan rumbles in his chest and you have a pretty good idea of what’s happening, you still refuse to break eye contact.

Deft fingers pop open the button of his slacks before lowering the zipper with a grinding sound which seems to echo off the pervasive walls of tension that close in on the pair of you. If possible, your mouth grows even drier and as you work to produce saliva, you note that the bitterness you experienced earlier while drinking Lee’s proffered tea still remains. Lee enjoys observing the struggle that flashes across your face when his hand delves into the open fly of his pants to engulf his growing erection in his hand before freeing it from the tight confines.

You hadn’t wanted to look, but something comes over you and your eyes seem to move of their own volition. Lee allows your disobedience only so he can watch the shock and fear erupt in your eyes as he exposes his hardened cock to you, hissing as the turgid flesh catches on the coarse metallic teeth of his open zipper. 

Dragging his warm palm with agonizing slowness along his length, Lee plants a booted foot beside your bent knee, the motion causing the utility belt he still wears to shift and jingle. You want to move away from the nearness of his crotch, but with a slab of cinder block at your back, there’s nowhere left for you to go.

“You know, I planned to bring you home last night when I came to your house,” Lee admits, switching hands to work his other fist languidly over his cock. “But I got so distracted by those pretty lips. Spent all night watching them while you slept. Jerked off thinking about how they’d feel…how they’d taste. Next thing I know, sun is coming up and you’re starting to wake.”

The tears which had formed earlier spill from your eyes and roll in fat drops down your cheeks now; something which seems to satisfy Lee given his throaty groan. You’d come to the sheriff for his help and all along, he’d been the very epicenter of your worst nightmare. And now you have no way to escape him. He squeezes a shiny drop of precum from the tip of his swollen shaft before using his tight grip to angle his length expectantly in your direction.

“Show me what those pretty lips can do.”

You’ve hardly begun to shake your head when Lee’s free hand moves to settle on the butt of the gun secured at his hip. His sharp voice cracks through the air like a whip.

“Trust me, you don’t wanna say no.”

Although you’re terrified of the subtle threat he delivers with only a slight movement, you can’t possibly imagine Lee brandishing his weapon to control you. Surely, he couldn’t be that cruel.

You sniffle and let more tears fall, still making no obvious effort to acquiesce to his demand. Lee tries once more to direct his dribbling cock towards your mouth and you turn your head to the side at the last second. His tip drags along your cheek, leaving a warm wet trail across your skin.

This time, Lee’s threat is anything but idle. His gun slides from the holster with practiced ease before he’s holding it loosely, just inches away from your face. He scoffs coldly when you refuse to turn his way, outright denying him the acknowledgement you know he desires. Lee waves the revolver in front of your face, making sure he has your full attention before he opens the cylinder and shows you six clearly loaded cartridges. He watches a fresh wave of tears stream down your cheeks before snapping the gun shut once more.

“Open your mouth and pretend like you want it,” he growls. “I wanna hear you beg.”

Knowing you have no other choice, you relent. Turning back to him, you can only stare straight ahead at Lee’s thighs. You shift your weight forward and lift your hands, placing your palms against the muscles of his legs and dragging them from the tops of his thighs to his knees. Your voice is devoid of emotion or enthusiasm when you fulfill his order.

“Please, Lee.”

His chuckle is slick and cruel. Your tearful visage, scared eyes, and the humiliating way you paw at him like a pathetic animal has his blood pumping until his cock swells to the point of pain. He’s certain he’s never been so hard in his life.

“Aw, what a good little pup,” he praises, unable to resist teasing you for the demeaning way you perform at his feet. “Good puppies get treats. Are you gonna keep being good for me?”

Although you cry, you agree to his request. You’re too afraid to do otherwise and the ever-present weapon he holds prevents you from daring to deny him what he wants. Lee asks you once more to look at him, a condescending approval in his voice when he reminds you how good you are for listening.

“C’mon, open,” he prompts, the tip of his cock tapping against your mouth. “Wrap your lips around it.”

You’re hesitant at first, instinctively mashing your lips together against the attempted intrusion. He’s so close you can smell the scent of fresh laundry and feel the warmth that pours off of his broad body. Lee presses the swollen head more insistently to your mouth, though your brain refuses to allow your body to cooperate. Any inclination you had to continue defying his silent inquest is swiftly eliminated by the cold, hard steel pressing against your forehead.

As if flipping a switch, your mouth opens and allows entrance. The hot tip of Lee’s cock slides against you, just barely making contact with your tongue. His essence is slightly salty and causes your mouth to water, much to your horror. He makes no attempt to insert himself further, simply allowing the weight of his erection to rest along your lower lip.

Your obedience seems to appease him and he allows the muzzle of his revolver to slide from your forehead to your temple where it comes to rest firmly on the vein which throbs just beneath the delicate skin. Saliva begins to gather in your mouth and you’re on the verge of drooling all over yourself. Without prompting or permission, you close your lips around the ridged crown of Lee’s cock and he grunts in approval.

Almost on instinct, you use your tongue to form a light suction and begin to suckle gently at the first inch of the length which parts your lips. Your tongue swirls, swiping tenderly along the smooth and overly-sensitive flesh. Lee’s knees threaten to buckle as he watches you perform with uncertainty and as he feels himself edging closer and closer to orgasm, his thumb pulls back the hammer on the gun still situated at your temple.

The sound of the revolver cocking frightens you, certainly an indication that you’ve done something wrong. Worried that Lee is angered by your presumptive actions, you whimper and try to release him but his free hand swoops in to hold your jaw and keep you in place.

“Keep going, sugar,” he pleads breathlessly. “Keep being a good girl.”

He moves the gun again, this time wedging the hard barrel just under your chin. You begin to cry anew, your face twisted in fear that he may still choose to harm you even given your obedience. However, Lee shushes you and reminds you to continue what you’re doing.

“Just wanna see all of that pretty face when I cum,” he clarifies, evidently hoping his words will soothe you.

As his breathing grows labored and his thighs begin to twitch with his impending release, Lee’s demeanor changes and he becomes more intense. The fingers holding your chin tighten with uncomfortable force and he digs the revolver’s barrel so deeply into your neck that you can feel it shifting against every pulse of your artery.

“Gonna make me cum, baby. That’s it, keep sucking the tip,” he grunts. “Just the tip…that’s all you deserve. Don’t deserve the rest of me yet. But you will soon. Yeah, my good girl’s gonna earn it, isn’t she?”

Lee rambles dirtily, the vein that runs along the underside of his cock throbbing as he twitches between your lips. You suck harder then, prompting him to exclaim hoarsely and allow another inch of his erection to slip into the glorious wet warmth of your mouth. When his hands begin to shake, you worry about the loaded and cocked gun he still holds against you. There isn’t much time to consider it because Lee pulls out hastily, releasing your face and using that hand to furiously jerk himself off.

He pants and a broken sound stutters from his parted lips as the first hot spurt of his cum lands on your cheek. Whispering only to himself, Lee wrings every drop of his release over the planes of your face; each thick stream splashing wetly across the bridge of your nose and over the seam of your spit-slicked lips. When he’s finished milking his cock, Lee requests — with unexpected gentleness — for you to open your mouth yet again. Upon doing so, he uses his softening length to swipe across your face and push some of his seed into your mouth so it dribbles onto your tongue before he allows the flaccid appendage to drop from his hand.

“So good for me, pretty girl,” he praises under his breath, patting your head with something resembling affection.

To your surprise, Lee takes the gun still gripped securely in his other hand and drags the cold barrel along your cheek then down your jawline. He gathers some of the sticky drops from your face onto the black steel and lifts his weapon to observe the narrow barrel before bringing it to his own mouth. The tip of his pink tongue flicks out to trace the metal’s edge before he wraps his lips around the hollow opening much the way you’d just done to his dick and he sucks the firearm clean.

“Next time I’ll let you swallow all of me,” he offers unprompted as he finally holsters his weapon and readjusts his pants.

You’re unsure whether the invitation is meant to be some sort of reward or just another threat and your brows furrow in confusion. Though it’s nothing compared to the confusion you feel as Lee reaches to wrap the discarded rope back around your wrist. When he assures you that continuing to behave will mean he won’t have to tie you up again, you bite your tongue to stop yourself from outright begging him not to leave you in the cold and dark like his needy, forgotten pet.

Sebastian Stan Masterlist ✦ Writing Masterpost

[ominoose]

hello ! what do you think about anselm vogelweide x asexual! reader ??

𝐀𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐦 𝐱 𝐀𝐬𝐞𝐱𝐮𝐚𝐥!𝐆𝐍!𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

Summary: HC's about the above! Warnings: Non-graphic references to jerking it. WC: 434

Hiya ! I am no @reallyrallyauthor, but I took a shot :) Kisses to all my ace followers :*

He's intrigued. In his mind sexual pleasure is one of the basic forms of pleasure as a whole, its like ice cream without milk, how is such a thing possible? This leads to him wanting to find out and further experience what type of pleasures you engage with to satisfy yourself in place of the "void".

If you mention that you have a hobby that brings you lots of fulfillment he'd simply nod, a small hum in acknowledgment before the conversation moves on. A week later and he's balls deep in said hobby, sending you letters. "Dearest birdie, I cannot truthfully agree that crocheting satisfies me as carnally as the satanic orgies of my younger years. However, it does seem to simmer down my twitching trigger finger." "My devoted love, why on Earth would you pick scrapbooking as a hobby? If I wanted my fingers coated in sticky substances and my desk to look an absolute array I'd simply fuck or kill. I cannot say we are on the same page here."

After he's tested your habits to a decent extent, he's content and moves on. Your asexuality is neither here nor there anymore. He's had it explained, he's dabbled in it (as much as he could, asking him to actually abstain from sex is akin to asking him to become a Eunuch) and that's all there need's be. It's on par with your hair colour now; perhaps the topic of small talk over tea ("Did you know, it's often speculated that Nikola Tesla was asexual?").

Shoots anyone that makes rude remarks or grimaces about it. Partly because you're his and he shall not tolerate such disrespect, partially because its such a stupid thing to care about and if they're wasting mental capacity remarking over it then they clearly aren't thinking enough of their job.

He will obviously still feel sexual attraction to you, but you'd rarely know. Anselm would never dream of burdening his beloved with the "nuisances" of the physical body. It's only when he wakes up beside you with morning wood and looks down with a "Oh, I see I have an early morning meeting I must attend. Stay in your Egyptian silk cocoon, my love, I shall be back in but a minute."

Any time he does feel horny, after some 'self care', he goes online and purchases something related to your hobby, e,g a large lego set, an instrument, fancy cookware. Him explaining this to you after 50 packages arrived for you in the span of one week was fun.

Pronounces it "a-thex-ual", like how he says "de-lith-ous".

[corxoran]

The masked apprentice is kazuma but with all his previous motivations and identity as the final remaining asogi stripped from him. This is a version of kazuma who isn't weighed down by his duties or discovering the truth, a version of kazuma who's more tame and reasonable, but also a version of kazuma who has nothing. No history, no overbearing weight of responsibility, no achievements, not even his best friend who he began to lean on. What's worse, having an identity that burdens you, reshapes you, and stresses you, or having no identity at all?

This is also why I love to explore the masked apprentice's relationship with ryunosuke because even with his memories hazy, even if he doesn't recall their relationship in any way, I have the feeling he could fall in love with ryunosuke all over again. Except this time, this version of himself has nothing to hide from ryunosuke, nothing bearing down on him and forcing him to keep that distance. This version of him would want to give himself to ryunosuke entirely because he doesn't have much of any idea what else he's to do. This version of him would allow himself to be a little selfish, a little VULNERABLE, because he has no great purpose to be strong for. He is simply a person, not an asogi.

But ryunosuke knows this older version of him (a version who was idolized and so far from the truth), and the masked apprentice would feel such envy. He isn't kazuma, but he wants to be if only so ryunosuke will love him that way. He wants to remember him.

BUT also even if you lose your memories, MUSCLE memory doesn't just disappear because your brain literally changes when you learn and blah blah brain stuff, anyway - imagine the masked apprentice with habits he can't quite explain, or a feeling that things about ryunosuke just feel familiar. Must talk about ryunosuke's side of this because I most often see people talking a lot about kazuma and not so much about ryunosuke - no way this guy just got into his buddy's suitcase if he didn't trust kazuma and keep an equally large space in his heart for him. Yes yes kazuma needed ryunosuke and loved him and wanted to lean on him, but surely ryunosuke wasn't inert in their relationship. He had motivations of his own, and feelings of his own. He trusted kazuma so much, and held him so high up on a pedestal - he thought the world of kazuma. Now, after all that's happened, all that he's discovered, I don't think he'd change his mind. Ryunosuke's not a "just for show" kind of guy, he wasn't just kazuma's friend for the shits and giggles. After learning all of this, he'd come to realize that he never really knew kazuma at all, only what kazuma wanted to show him to stay that strong, perfect person in his eyes. Because HE WANTED RYUNOSUKE'S LOVE AND REVERENCE BUT ANYWAY - ryunosuke would want to know the REAL kazuma. The guy he followed to britain, the guy he wanted to help in whatever journey he was on. The guy he followed despite knowing he wasn't being told everything because that's just how much faith he had in him. All of this makes me think that ryunosuke doesn't have much going for him. There's no way he's got a whole career plan and parents and all this stuff that he just dropped to go to britain and never mentioned any of it. I believe this indirectly shows us that ryunosuke had no strong convictions of his own, and so this journey with kazuma was something he was able to go on without much holding him back. Even his speech for the contest was apparently shallow, and he doesn't seem as serious about many things as kazuma. He didn't even remember the speech story at first, but every detail was ingrained in kazuma's head.

I think ryunosuke was content just being kazuma's friend, even if he didn't know every single thing about him. He probably found it very remarkable that someone as amazing as kazuma kept choosing him over and over again. But ah... don't take my word for it I'm one of those girlies who hasn't much time or motivation - I haven't even finished the games yet 😢

[emepe]

— Pairing: Eren x Reader, friends to lovers

— General info: series, 18+, modern AU, serial killer AU, smut, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort

— Summary: Fate is a tricky thing. Certain situations can’t be avoided as much as certain people’s lives can’t be kept from intertwining. With a serial killer on the loose, and unexpected relationships blooming, how will the universe intervene?

— Chapter summary: A journal entry. Meanwhile, Armin does what he can to help Eren out.

— Content warnings: mentions of murder and torture of a woman, misogyny.

— Notes: Hello, hello! Thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged chapter 1 of this series. I really appreciate it <3 Happy reading, bubs!

Links: Read on AO3 | Chapter guide | Masterlist

just friends

September 8, 2024

There’s nothing I hate more than arrogant women. That’s why I had to kill her. 

All I wanted was for her to smile at me. She wouldn’t. I filled her room with all her favorite things and even loosened her handcuffs. But she was so fucking hard-headed it drove me crazy. The little bitch even dared to spit at me. I had to teach her a lesson. I had to let out my anger somehow. 

For a while, it was exciting to watch her writhe in pain. I can’t even begin to describe how thrilling it is to see how much a human can tolerate until they break. I told her it was compensation for the look she gave me the day we met. She kept lying and saying she didn’t even remember having bumped into me on the street.

I really wish she could’ve bounced back this time. I’m so lonely without her now. I miss her.   

Humans are social by nature, it's what all the books say. When one is young, we need protection and love from our caregivers. As we grow, our world gradually expands and we bond with other people — friends from school, teachers, neighbors, coworkers. If one must stick to tradition, there's bound to be a romantic relationship to develop at some point. But for some people, that imposed path doesn't come naturally. Or rather, there have been blockages throughout the years that resulted in stunted social growth. 

That's where you find yourself. It's not your fault. When one grows up forced to believe she's nothing but a burden, it's only natural to try to take up as little space as possible. But again, it's not your fault. One doesn't acquire those thoughts on their own. 

You ruined my life!

As much as wellness and self-help gurus will preach there's a place in the world for everyone, self-awareness keeps you from blinding yourself toward the baggage you carry. It wouldn't be fair to lay that on anyone else. 

So you've shrunk yourself. No making yourself seen, no making yourself heard. No talking outside of what is strictly necessary to survive. No inserting yourself into other's lives. For the most part, it's worked. Albeit, you've been deemed unlikable, weird, and rude. It's better this way. There's no use in putting yourself out there if there's so much to feel ashamed of. It's too much to trouble others with your pitiful self.

Who in the world would want to put up with you?

After the usual snarky murmurs and judgmental glances, you're rarely acknowledged save for when someone — usually a man — tries to “take a crack” at you and the whispers float in the air for another while. Other than that, you're at peace with yourself. You're almost convinced you've developed invisibility powers. 

That is until Armin came along. At first, you sighed at the prospect of going over your routine yet again. Cementing boundaries and erasing any hope that it just takes the right guy to “loosen you up”. It was disgusting to have your quietness be misinterpreted for arrogance by the men at work. Even if that were the case, who was anybody to assume you needed to be knocked down a peg through sexual advances?

But Armin proved himself to be different. He tore away at your skepticism by simply being kind with no ulterior motives. Men can be so stupid. They'll believe a girl can't pick up when they're being slimy. It must've shocked them when you started having lunch with Armin more frequently. 

It was thanks to him that you slowly expanded your world's limits. It was because of him that you began to question the voice that rang in your ears. After receiving the housewarming party invitation, you wondered whether to step forward or back. There was no denying Armin's expansion had awoken something in you. You wanted company — craved it — but you didn't want to risk bringing trouble into the group. What if Armin was an anomaly and the things that echoed in your head were true? Maybe Armin wasn't an anomaly at all, he just didn't know enough about you. You certainly didn't let him in enough. 

In the end, your heart overruled your brain. You wanted more. With a hopeful heart, you went to the party. 

A heavy sigh slips past your lips as you pick at your dinner on Sunday night. Your hair is still damp from the shower and it rests uncomfortably along your neck. Your phone lies next to your plate, buzzing every few seconds to match the texts that come into the group chat — arrangements are taking place for the next get-together with Armin and his friends. 

After your moment of realization on the balcony, you faked a yawn and went back inside to pretend to fall asleep.

This morning, you avoided being alone with Eren. Not out of fear of something happening, but you needed to sort out your feelings on the situation.

There's no denying Eren is an attractive man — but that doesn't faze you. 

Catching Eren's eye wasn't something you planned. Your world suddenly expanded outside of your will — out of your control. You're not annoyed, just overwhelmed. 

Being the center of someone's attention means more expectations, more to live up to — he has no idea you're not the kind of girl he needs. Nobody needs someone who's a burden. It's not as if you're open to reciprocating any special attention, anyway.

If history has taught you anything, it’s that love isn't in the cards for you. It's best not to entertain any silly ideas.

Friendships are tricky, but no more than romance — or whatever crossed Eren's mind each time he looked at you. Keeping to oneself is easier than either one. But with the latter idea being too late to return to, you'll have to nip this problem in the bud.

The few hours before lunchtime seem to drag slower every Monday. Given that sparing time to eat was nothing but another task to check off your to-do list, you never used to pay much attention to the clock. But since Armin, lunchtime means more than bringing food to your mouth, methodically stretching your pace to fit the length of your lunch break.

Now it means meeting with a friend, having someone fill in the silence with tales from the accounting department, and occasionally going on quick drives to Kuchel. 

So when you venture off to his cubicle, only for him to tell you he's swamped with work and won't have lunch until later, you're mildly disappointed. You don't let it show. After all, work trumps your trivial need for company.

So you wish him good luck and return to your desk. Without any conversation to fill in the minutes, you finish your food fairly quickly. When you glance at the time on your phone, barely fifteen minutes have passed. Your fingers tap rhythmically against your desk before you decidedly stand, grab your bag, and head for the elevator. 

The coffee shop on the corner of the street has been your go-to spot since you started working here. You've been there alone and with Armin. It's where your feet take you on the rare occasions when Armin is too busy. There's nothing wrong with the in-house coffee kiosk from your office building, but you find more comfort in being surrounded by strangers who keep to themselves than bumping into someone who doesn't like you. 

The early September days serve as a transition into cooler temperatures. A light breeze has added to the warmth leftover from summer. The leaves have yet to develop a clear change in color, but some yellow streaks are popping up here and there. The beginning of autumn pushes you toward all things cozy. By the time you reach the shop, you've got your heart set on having a warm cup of cinnamon tea.

You settle at a table, place your order, grab a book from your bag, and wait. Before you can reach the second paragraph of your read, a shadow casts over your left side, forcing you to look up in confusion. It's too soon for your tea to be ready. 

You're met with striking green eyes and plump lips that pronounce a bashful hi.

It's a strange coincidence. You wish you could say you've never seen him around here before, but you've never bothered to commit any face to memory if it's not necessary. 

“Eren, hi.”

The tint on his cheeks you remember so well from two nights ago resurfaces. A nervous swallow pulls at your throat. You never did map out a plan — then again, you weren't expecting to see him again so soon.

“I wasn't sure if it was you. Are you here with someone?” he asks, taking a second to look around the shop.

You shake your head. 

“No. Armin's busy so I came here alone,” you explain.

He nods, rocking his weight on his heels. A question seems to linger on the tip of his tongue as his gaze flits between you and the floor. It takes him a moment for him to find his voice, though. In spite of yourself, you have to admit it's actually a bit endearing. It's different. It's refreshing.

“Is it okay if I sit with you?” His eyes are overflowing with hope. 

You nod. He sits. The book in your hands is put away.

For a while last night, you debated the validity of your theory. Maybe Eren wasn't interested in you in the way you thought. After all, it was your first time meeting and he might’ve been nervous. You know enough about the way you present yourself to acknowledge you're not the most approachable person. Maybe all he needs is time to get used to you.

“Do you want to order something?” You ask, prepared to wave over a server. He stops you with a dismissive hand.

“It's okay, I already had some tea.”

Your eyebrows rise in surprise.

“Not a coffee guy?” 

He shakes his head, sputtering a nervous chuckle.

“Not really. I don't like bitter things.” His nose scrunches as if he can savor it on his tongue.

A server brings over your tea along with a small tray of additives. You thank them before returning to Eren's statement.

“You can always add sugar,” you point out with a shrug. 

He shakes his head again. This time you're relieved to find a playful smile dancing on his lips.

“Nothing can beat tea with honey.”

Your hand pauses mid-air on its way to pick up the wooden wand half lost in a jar of golden syrup. 

You hum in thought as you reach for the sugar spoon instead. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. That's how my mom made it for me when I was little. I'd get a stomachache or a cold and it was the first thing she'd make for me. I feel like a kid each time I drink it. It makes me think of her.”

The corners of his lips tug into a smile. You find yourself mirroring his expression as you look down at your hand stirring the sugar into your tea. 

“Your mom sounds nice,” you murmur.

“Oh, she's the best. I love her.”

Eren's shoulders relax. He feels at ease talking about his mom. He feels even better knowing he's successfully carrying out a casual conversation with you. In the light of day, everything is less scary. There's less to worry about. That carefree feeling blankets over everything. Suddenly, the motive he walked into this coffee shop for seems doable. 

Then a sinking feeling comes over his stomach. 

“Sorry.” The word bounces off his tongue without thinking.

“What for?”

He doesn't want to say it, but he hopes his apologetic gaze is enough to convey an explanation.

Your eyebrows shoot up in realization at his hesitance. Then they furrow as you press your lips into a fine line and shake your head dismissively. 

“Oh, that.” 

The recall of Saturday night when you drunkenly talked about your mom causes your cheeks to flare with heat.

Guilt settles in Eren's stomach. He didn't mean to bring up his mom. He also didn't mean to be so quick to apologize. It just made things worse now that you know he's tiptoeing around you. That's probably the last thing you want — to feel purposely pitied.

Flustered, he rummages through his brain for a solution — a way to get back on the track he was on. 

You fix your gaze on him. It's obvious he feels troubled. It's a foreign experience having someone worry so much about if they've caused you any harm. You're unsure of what feelings to associate with it other than guilt. He's not at fault for your crappy family life.

“So you and your mom are close?” you ask.

The crease in his forehead smoothes over. 

When he shyly reconnects with your gaze, your eyebrows raise ever so slightly in encouragement. The movement is so subtle it's hard not to miss — but not for Eren, who takes in every detail of your face with so much care. For Eren, the small shifts in your features are so interesting to look at. You express so much with so little. And yet there were times when you would accentuate your expressions as much as you could. What you held back vocally was compensated tenfold through your face. It's fascinating to him.

“Yeah.”

His voice is soft — a trace of his withering embarrassment.

“She's my best friend,” he adds with a little more confidence.

You take a sip of tea. The drink warms your stomach, mirroring that of your chest elicited by Eren's words. The fondness in his voice taints him with a childlike innocence. 

Eren Jaeger isn't worried about looking cool. He's honest and clumsy. It's charming.

A light shake of your head keeps your thoughts from drifting further.

“So not a coffee guy but a mama's boy, for sure. Got it.” You nod along with an overly serious expression painted on your face. 

He laughs, the sinking feeling in his stomach now dissolving into nothing. Had he not been on the receiving end of your bluntly spoken teasing the other night, he might not have laughed so easily.

A blush spreads across his cheeks. 

“Come on, don't tease me,” he mumbles.

You bite your lip to keep yourself from smiling. Eren falls back into his previously relaxed state. 

The conversation continues to flow in between every sip of your tea.

“Do you come here often?” you ask as you prepare to take another sip. 

Your eyes are locked on his. He struggles with the intense eye contact. At least, it's intense on his end.

“Not really. Armin mentioned it to me so I thought I'd try it out.” 

The pads of his fingers drum a nervous beat on the table.

You nod, relieved. You'd feel silly if it had turned out he was a frequent customer and your disregard of the people surrounding you kept you from noticing him. It would've piled onto your embarrassment from the Kuchel incident. 

“Ah, so are you on your lunch break, too? Do you work around here?”

“Um, kind of. I do media production and marketing for a museum, but I do a lot of hours at home. My place is just a few minutes by car.” 

“That's so cool.” 

The amazement in your voice in addition to its sudden turn up in volume is enough to make him blush. 

“It's nothing special. I'm definitely not raking in the big bucks like Jean.” 

“Still, it's cool. It's a lot more interesting than being an office manager.” 

Your eyebrows scrunch together with newborn disdain for your job before you finish the remainder of your tea.

“Well, I can't argue there,” he says, imitating the sliver of bitterness in your voice.

You gasp in mock hurt. 

“Hey, only I can say it.” Your tone is serious, but he knows you're joking. He can tell by the twinkle of amusement in your eyes.

He laughs.

“How long until you have to get back to work?” 

You peek at the clock on the wall across the room.

“I still have some time. It's a short walk back, anyway.”

Despite your wording, your answer triggers his nervous antics. You're bound to part ways eventually and he swore to himself he would get the words out. He runs a hand through his hair to distract himself from the anxious flutter in his stomach. 

It's no big deal, he thinks. She's just a girl. 

He regrets not ordering something else when you asked him. It would give his hands something to do. Then again, he can't keep them from shaking as he gathers the courage to pronounce his next thought. So it's better he doesn't have any breakables in his hold.

He pronounces your name carefully. His heart skips a beat when your eyes meet his. It's strange to think that you hold so much power over him within just a couple of days since meeting. He wants to get closer — he needs to. Again, that feeling of wanting this moment with you to stretch farther squeezes at his chest. 

“Do you want to hang out sometime? Just the two of us?”

He can feel himself growing numb to his surroundings as he awaits your response. It's similar to the feeling he gets after stepping foot off a rollercoaster. The adrenaline is pumping furiously through his veins while his mind goes blank. It's a weird moment of chaos and bliss all at once.

You clear your throat. 

���So… a date?”

He swallows thickly and nods.

He watches you contemplate his proposal. Your lips are pressed in a fine line, your gaze low and brow furrowed.

It's too much to hope you're equally attracted to him — he's aware. But he hopes you like his company just enough to say yes. Or at the very least, you're curious to know more.

Your mind is in conflict. This is more than you've bargained for. All you wanted was to get along with Armin's friends.

“I'm sorry, Eren. No.” 

He instantly deflates to your firm tone. 

“It's nothing personal,” you explain. “You're a really nice guy. Really. But I'm not interested in dating… at all.” You sigh, dreading the pending words on your tongue. “And I don't really see you that way. I just want to be friends.”

He remains quiet, chewing on the inside of his cheeks as he processes your words. 

The situation is uncomfortable for you, but his defeated form weighs heavier on your heart. He looks so small. It's definitely worse for him. 

“Eren?”

Your voice grounds him. 

“Sorry, I really spaced out there,” he nervously laughs. “Friends, though. Yeah, friends is good. Friends is perfect, actually.”

The word leaves a bitter taste on his tongue each time. He can pat himself on the back for shooting his shot later but, for now, his senses have been blurred by the disappointment of being turned down.

“I really like talking to you, Eren. Really.” 

Your attempt to lighten the defeat on his shoulders works — a little. It's a relief you're not entirely opposed to having him around, at least. Eren finds comfort in that. Maybe it'll suffice while he fights away at his attraction. 

“I like talking to you, too.” His voice carries a tint of helplessness. 

Your eyes soften. 

“I should get going.” 

You pull out a fresh bill from your purse and place it under the empty teacup before standing.

He stands with you and holds the door open. It's not until you're both out on the sidewalk, bidding each other goodbye, that he forces a smile. 

“I'll see you around.”

“Bye, Eren.” 

“Sorry I couldn't make it to lunch,” Armin says. He leans against the edge of your desk with his hands in his pockets.

It's been an hour since you got back, and you've been typing away, replying to emails. 

You shrug, tossing a small reassuring smile his way before focusing back on your computer screen.

“It's fine. I wasn't alone this time.”

He perks up.

“Really?”

You hum in affirmation.

“I went out for tea and bumped into your friend Eren.”

Armin's jaw falls open.

“Huh. Well, what do you know? That's a crazy coincidence.” 

There's something suspicious about Armin's theatrical tone, but you're too engrossed in going over your email for typos to notice. You only manage to murmur a simple uh-huh. 

“What'd you talk about?”

You send off your email with a satisfied click and look up at Armin as you lean back in your chair.

“Just this and that,” you reply nonchalantly. 

His lips press into a dissatisfied line.

“Well, what do you think of him?” His eyes light up expectantly. 

“He's…” You lose yourself in thought for a moment. Images of blushing cheeks, boyish smiles, and shimmering green eyes flash through your memory. You remember the honey and his simple confessions. “... like a little kid.” 

Armin's face bears a mix of confusion and amusement.

“What do you mean by that?” 

A soft pensive hum vibrates through your throat.

“Dorky,” you reply firmly. 

Armin snorts, readying himself to come to Eren's defense, but you continue.

“He's… honest, like a little kid would be. And he's a little clumsy with his words but it's… Kind of endearing. He's a sweet guy.”

Armin nods along, his face serious. Finally, he smiles. 

“Sounds like you had a nice talk, then.”

Date proposal aside, your moment with Eren was enjoyable. Even taking your rejection into account, you didn't sense any resentment directed at you and that just further proved your pure perception of him.

It's not the first time you've been asked out. It's certainly not the first time you've said no — that's always been your response, albeit for different reasons. A few guys in the office have tried getting closer to you but, even if you were open to dating, you can always tell it's nothing genuine from their approach. Their overly kind performance just makes it easier for you to decline. Once that's been done, their creepy narcissistic truths come to light — you're stoned with sexist slurs and disgusted looks. It'd hurt more if you were still the kind of person who craves approval from the wrong people.

There's a clear difference between them and Eren. So even though you rejected him, you still wish to be close as friends. He's a nice person to know.

“I did,” you tell Armin.

There's a shimmer in your eyes he manages to catch. Your features are soft and serene as you prop your chin on one hand while you mindlessly scroll through your emails with the other. Your lips are shaped into a discreet smile. Like a kid.

On his way back to his cubicle on the opposite end of the floor, Armin hums a cheerful tune to himself. There's a proud bounce in every step he takes. 

“Armin, check your phone. It was buzzing like crazy a few minutes ago,” a female coworker says in passing before grabbing a manila folder from her desk and rushing off to a meeting room across the hall.

“Thanks, Mina!” he calls after her.

Armin taps the missed call notification on his screen and brings the phone to his ear, grinning expectantly.

“You suck,” Eren's voice comes through the speaker after the first ring.

“Woah, woah, woah. What did I do?” Armin laughs as he steps out onto the empty smoker's balcony. 

There’s a groan on the other end.

“What do you think? I crashed and burned.”

Armin’s face contorts in confusion. From what he could gather on your end, the coffee shop incident went well. You were smiling, and although the things you said about Eren didn’t seem like it, you meant them fondly — Armin knew you well enough to confidently confirm that. At the very least, it meant you weren’t completely repulsed by his company. Even if there are different sides to every story, the discrepancies shouldn’t be anything major.

“What are you talking about?” Armin sighs.

Another groan on Eren’s end. If Armin wasn’t so patient, he would’ve hung up. 

He really is like a little kid, he thinks.

“I asked her out and she said no.”

Armin’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. How could you keep that part out of the conversation you had earlier?

His shock doesn’t stem from your rejection, but rather because of Eren’s unexpected bravery. Although Eren was tough on the playground when they were kids, he grew up to be a fairly meek guy. When it comes to a girl he likes, he’s never been the bold type. Armin found it a bit strange at times. Eren’s had a track record of being popular among women, so his confidence should be over the roof and his personality, unbearable. But if he’s honest, it’s a good thing he doesn’t pay much attention to those things. It’s easier to root for a friend who only acts on more honest feelings. Even if that confidence didn’t stick with him.

“This is all your fault, Armin. So much for having my back.”

Even through the phone, Armin can tell his best friend is pouting. He has to hold back from rolling his eyes — it feels deceitful to do it behind his back when he has to play the role of a sympathetic friend right now. 

He rubs at his nape, unsure of whether he should feel proud of Eren for making a move or apologetic for not contemplating what seemed like a far-fetched risk. 

“To be fair, buddy, I didn’t send you over there to ask her out. I just thought you would like the chance to talk to her and get to know her a little better.”

“You couldn’t tell me that before? I don’t think I can ever face her again!” Eren half-yells.

Of course, Eren chooses to focus on the negatives. Armin cherry-picks the situations he meddles in. Even if it’ll serve as a confident boost to reveal to Eren what you said about him and how you said it, it could do him some good to bounce back on his own — and learn to pace himself. 

“First off, you have to relax an—”

“I can’t.” Eren’s voice is reduced to an embarrassed murmur. “She makes me nervous. I can’t help myself.”

There’s a long moment of silence. 

It’s been obvious from the start that Eren is attracted to you, but the near confession pulls at Armin’s heartstrings. It’s times like this when he’s reminded how cute Eren can be. 

“That bad, huh?” Armin smiles down at the people walking on the street.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not in love with her or anything but…”

There's a long pause on Eren's side, only disturbed by some light rustling as he moves his phone around.

“... I like looking at her… and I like hearing her talk. Do you ever notice how soft her voice is? There’s just something about it… There’s this thing with her eyes, too, it’s crazy.”

“Well, as long as you’re not falling in love with her.”

Eren releases a third groan.

“Armin, please. I just want to get closer to her. And I don’t want to make myself look like an idiot each time we’re alone. I wish there was something I could do to make her like me.” 

“I don’t think she dislikes you if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“She said she doesn’t see me that way. She just wants to be friends.”

Eren’s desolation is seeping through the phone now.

“Maybe I jumped the gun by asking her out so quickly.”

When Armin suggested Eren find you at the coffee shop during your lunch break, he figured it would help him get used to you. So that when the time came, he could ask you out without being more anxious than he needed to be. Had everything gone accordingly, Eren wouldn’t be moping now and wondering what would have happened — if anything was meant to happen — if he had just given you a little more time.

“Maybe,” Armin echoes.  

“Do you think I blew it?”

Armin shakes his head even though there’s no way for Eren to tell.

“I think you just got a little excited. You never know how she might feel later on.”

“I don’t want to make her uncomfortable. I hardly think she’ll like me any better if I act like those guys who can’t take no for an answer. I should just try being her friend.”

Armin wants to beg him not to feel discouraged — that there’s a reason why he was so excited to introduce you to each other, and why he teased him at the housewarming party after he caught him blushing while doing the dishes with you.

It didn’t start that way but, the more he got to know you, the more he thought you and Eren would be good together. 

Soft-spoken girl who keeps to herself meets the most dependable and kind-hearted boy.  

Armin would be lying if he said he wasn’t swayed by the promised satisfaction of playing matchmaker in the fantasy playing out in his head. Not that he felt you absolutely needed to get together. But he could feel it in his gut. You and Eren could do each other a lot of good. He already knew Eren would feel a pull upon meeting you and, if there’s anything he gathered from both sides of the coffee shop incident, it’s that you like Eren enough to let him stick around. It was a good call on your end, though he may be biased.

If you happen to fall in love along the way, then so be it.

“You’re a good guy, Eren. Everything will turn out fine.”

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[yuuuta95]

Super Rich Kids

Pairing: Nakamoto Yuta x Reader (ft. Taeyong, Jaehyun, Ten, and Xiaojun)

Warnings: sexual content, mention of suicide (but not really)

Summary: Spending the summer at a country club sounds like torture. Spending the summer at a country club with Nakamoto Yuta, Lee Taeyong, Jeong Jaehyun, Lee Ten, and (a brief appearance from) Xiao Dejun is even worse.

Word Count: 18.4k

Soundtrack: Super Rich Kids by Frank Ocean

A/N: This is my first post. A reworking of something I wrote a while ago. I hope you like it! Let me know your favourite parts! ^^

one

“Stop being so dramatic; I’ll be joining you in two weeks. My new step-bitch wants to take me shopping in Dubai so we can ‘bond’ but I know it’s just a massive excuse to convince my dad to give her his credit card so she can fulfil her gold-digging fantasies”, Sana’s voice echoed through the loudspeaker of my phone as I finished packing my bags. I walked over to my bed, falling back onto it and turning my head so that I was facing the phone I had laid on my pillow.

 “I’m sorry, Sana. If it makes you feel any better, while you’re splashing the cash in Dubai, I’ll be suffering a slow and painful death at the country club. God knows why my dad and Jessica insist on spending all summer there when there are so many other places to visit and so many other things to do that don’t involve making forced conversation with a bunch of rich, sexist men, their trophy wives and their spoiled children!” I sulked. I lifted my head as I heard Sana giggling on the other line.

 “Didn’t you just describe your own family, Y/N?” she laughed. As the realisation hit me, I couldn’t help but let out a small chuckle.

 “I’m not spoiled though”, I argued, though my smile never left my face.

“You are a little… Oh, shit, I have to go. The step-bitch is calling me. You’re so lucky your dad married someone who at least cares about you. My mommy treats me like a burden she has to bear in order to continue getting access to unlimited money. Okay, I really have to go now, she’s coming upstairs. I’ll see you in two weeks, yeah?” Sana didn’t give me a chance to reply before hanging up. Burying my head deeper into my pillow, I screamed. This was going to be another dull networking event disguised as a holiday. Same shit, different year.

“Y/N… sweetheart, we’re here”, I slowly opened my eyes and saw Jessica smiling down as she gave me another gentle nudge. “Your father and I are going to go check in; make sure you lock up the car when you get out”. With that, I felt car keys being pushed into my hand and the car door being closed. I lifted my head and looked out of the window just in time to see her shuffling away in her heels, struggling to keep up with my dad who clearly didn’t care that she was having trouble in her new shoes. He really didn’t deserve her. I reached into my bag and pulled out a mirror, trying to salvage my messy hair and clean up my smudged makeup. How had I managed to end up looking like such a mess within the space of a 3-hour car ride and nap? A few moments later I emerged from the car looking somewhat presentable. I locked up the car, not failing to notice that it was parked right in front of the club in a reserved parking space. It must have been one of the perks of being close friends with the club’s owner, Lee Soo-man.

 “Dude, isn’t that Y/N?” I heard a voice mumble. I recognised it immediately… Jaehyun. My head whipped back to find what I could only describe as my worst nightmare. Standing in front of me, smirks covering their features as they each gave me a once-over, were Jaehyun, Yuta, Ten and Taeyong. I could feel my heart racing as I tried not to feel too insecure under their gazes. As always, Yuta was the first to speak.

“You look like shit”, he scoffed before adjusting his bag pack and making his way towards the reception building. I rolled my eyes. Typical prick. I looked over at Jaehyun expectedly. He was Yuta’s right-hand man and usually the one to add onto any insult that had been thrown my way.

 “Hmmm, I’d still fuck you”, he simply winked before following on the heels of his best friend, shadowed by a bored looking Ten.

“In your dreams, Jeong”, I yelled after him. Frustrated and already planning how I was going to avoid those jerks for the whole summer, I turned to find Taeyong staring at me as a result of my sudden outburst. I shifted uncomfortably as I waited for him to say something. He simply smiled and nodded before following the others. As luck would have it, the boy I have been crushing on for the past year was the one who had just barely acknowledged my existence then walked away. Why couldn’t he have been the one to say he wanted to fuck me?

As soon as I got into my room, I collapsed onto the bed. Why was the universe punishing me? Not only could my best friend not be here for the first two weeks of this dumpster fire, I was going to have to deal with Yuta alone. I could handle Jaehyun; he was just a cocky playboy who used his admittedly gorgeous face to manipulate vulnerable, attention deprived trust fund girls into letting him fuck their brains out. I knew him too well to fall for his techniques. I could handle Ten; he was uninterested in everyone and everything, only looking up from his phone occasionally to drop a sarcastic comment or two. He didn’t care enough about me to bother me… I’m not going to lie, that actually made me crave his attention a little. Taeyong… I could barely handle him but anyone would only have to look at his face to see why. He was sculpted by the Gods yet was so unaware of his beauty. I didn’t understand how someone so sweet and friendly could be mixed up with someone like Yuta.

Oh yes, Yuta, the one boy I couldn’t handle.

He was the definition of a spoilt brat, using money to buy whatever and whoever he wanted. Urgh, I couldn’t understand what had possessed me to sleep with him repeatedly over the course of the five years I’d known him. He was rude, selfish, materialistic and arrogant, yet I’d managed to let myself get lost in him. I’d managed to let him whisper sweet nothings into my ear as he pulled my hips into his, thrusting desperately as I trembled beneath him. I’d even managed to repeatedly allow him into my mouth, my swollen lips wrapped around him as he tried to control his grunts out of fear that someone would discover us in the empty classroom. Despite our regular arguments and less-than-friendly manner of addressing one other, we had always found our way back together. I eventually broke it off when I realised that my crush on Taeyong would never become anything more than a crush if I was secretly fucking one of his best friends. Yuta didn’t take it so well. He accused me of being desperate for ‘pining after a guy who was worse than all the fuckboys he knew combined’. He tried to convince me that Taeyong wasn’t as he seemed and frankly, I found his attempt at sabotaging Taeyong to be pathetic. Since our ‘break up’ almost 6 months ago, I hadn’t seen or heard from Yuta, and had therefore mistakenly assumed I would never have to deal with him.

 “Y/N, we’re going out to dinner. Do you want to join us?” I looked towards my door and found Jessica smiling at me. Before I could respond, my dad’s voice came booming from the living room.

“She has to go. What will Lee Soo-man think if my whole family isn’t there? It’ll look like we don’t appreciate his hospitality. Y/N, wear something presentable, and be out here in 10 minutes”, he bellowed. I could see the apologetic look on Jessica’s face as she closed the door, leaving me to get ready.

The ballroom where dinner was being served was massive to say the least. But with its expensive art, frosted windows, golden walls and extravagant chandelier, it looked like it was trying too hard. As we were shown to our table, I couldn’t help but notice that there were seven plate settings, meaning we were expecting to entertain four other guests. I sighed as I adjusted my dress, becoming more self-conscious of how low cut it was. I turned around and scanned the room looking for… Yuta? Taeyong? I wasn’t sure. Either way, I found neither. Turning back in my chair, I almost let out a scream as the previously unoccupied seat in front of me now had a raven-haired boy whose attention was consumed by the device in his hand.

 “Hi Ten”, I tried to usurp his concentration. He simply looked up at me, gave a forced smile and returned to him device. “Okay then”, I mumbled under my breath. Ten’s father and mine were good friends so it was no surprise that they had chosen to combine our family dinners. Like I said, this was all a big networking event disguised as a family getaway.

 “Ten, please put that thing away”, his mother said, her voice so overly sweet that it was obvious that she was upset with him. Ten let out a dramatic sigh before slipping his phone into his pocket and staring at me, as if to say this is your fault.

“You have my attention. What do you want?” he simply stated.

 “Is being a total asshole a pre-requisite to being in Yuta’s squad?” I shot back.

“If it is then you seem to have a thing for assholes”. I furrowed my brows. “Don’t think I’ve missed your pathetic attempts to get me to talk to you. Or your whatever with Yuta. And, God, you look like a love struck puppy every time Tae walks past you. It’s only a matter of time before you start lusting after Jaehyun as well”, he mused, “Good thing Xiaojun is volunteering this summer otherwise I’d have to endure you eye-fucking him as well”.

 “Ten! That is enough!” his mother had clearly been eavesdropping on the conversation, not trusting her antisocial son to interact like a normal human being.

“It’s okay, ma’am”, I smiled sweetly at her before turning my attention back to Ten. “You’re more observant than you seem”, I simply laughed. Without his phone, he was looking for some entertainment and clearly riling me up was his idea of a good time.

 “You don’t have to be observant to notice the drool falling from your lips when Tae is anywhere within your line of vision”, he retorted, “As for Yuta, you two really weren’t as subtle as you thought… And me? Whenever you see us at school, you say hi to me first, even though we’re not friendly. It’s because you crave what you can’t have; it’s a subconscious thing. But who can blame you? Just look at me, who wouldn’t want a piece?” he winked. I rolled my eyes. For someone who was constantly looking down at his phone, he saw a lot more than other people did. I stated to wonder if he had discussed all of this with the others. As if he had read my mind, Ten simply smirked and said, “Don’t worry. These are all our little secrets”.

I had somehow managed to get through dinner, using all my energy to ignore Ten’s gaze. I was starting to want anything but his attention. He had this intense way of undressing people with his eyes. I’d felt naked as I took forks full of pasta to my mouth. This hadn’t been helped by the fact that my already low cut dress kept slipping down, resulting in Ten occasionally glancing at my chest.

 “Ten, why don’t you walk Y/N back to her family’s suite?” his mother suggested when she noticed how restless I was becoming, having finished my food half an hour ago. Ten, whose gaze had now shifted to a red head a few tables down, looked at me and raised his eyebrow as if to ask do you want me to? I gave a subtle nod and got up from my chair. I made my way to the exit, and could hear Ten’s footsteps not far behind.

A refreshing gust of wind hit my face as I stepped out of the ballroom. It was its own separate building meaning that I had to walk across the artificial field to get to the building where our suite was. Although I could have allowed the short two-minute walk to be a silent one, I found that familiar craving for Ten’s attention creeping back into me as I noticed that he was already looking down at his phone.

 “So who was the red head?” I questioned.

“Why? Are you jealous?” Ten grinned at me.

 “No… I was just curious. You kept staring at her. Could you be crushing on her perhaps?�� I countered.

“Leave the psychoanalysing to me, Y/N”, he laughed, “No, I don’t like her. But she likes me. I can tell she’s been crushing on me for a while. She was looking for me from the moment she entered the ballroom, and when she finally found me, she couldn’t stop looking back again and again… and again. I was bored so I looked back”, he spoke as if he was reciting a well-known fact.

 “What are you?” I looked up at him in disbelief. He let out a laugh. A genuine laugh; and it was one of the most beautiful things I’d ever heard.

“I like psychology. I like analysing people. Humans are so fascinating. I read somewhere that humans are their true selves when they think no one is watching so…” he waved his phone, “I often pretend I’m not watching”. I couldn’t help but laugh at this new revelation that uninterested Ten was actually secretly analysing everyone.

 “Apart from all that bullshit from dinner, what can you tell me about who I am?” I asked. He stopped in his tracks, looking taken aback by the question. I stopped and turned to see what he was doing. He unlocked his phone and tapped the screen a couple of times before clearing his throat.

“I have here in my notes…”

 “In your notes?!” I cried.

“Shhhh. I have here in my notes, ‘obsession with Tae shows destructive personality, dated (or at least fucked) Yuta then broke his heart, desperation for Ten - that’s me – shows a desperation for male attention possibly brought on by paternal issues, pupils dilate when looking at Yuta suggesting attraction, actually pupils dilate when looking at Jaehyun, Taeyong, Xiaojun and Ten – me again – so possibly just super thirsty’. Again, I think that might be because of your paternal problems”. I stood there, shocked at the incredibly accurate yet also very invasive analysis.

 “I have some questions”, I muttered.

“Naturally…”

 “Why is my ‘obsession’ with Tae destructive? What makes you think I broke Yuta’s heart? And how the fuck do you notice my pupil’s dilating? You hardly ever look at me!”

“You did break Yuta’s heart. I can tell. He hasn’t been the same since you two stopped… whatever the fuck it was you were doing. He’s crankier and he just sleeps with a shit ton of random girls like he’s trying to forget something… or someone. How cliché. As for the eyes thing, I watch you closer than you realise. Don’t be embarrassed though, we’re all pretty fucking hot. You’re one of our many, many, many, many admirers”, he smirked as I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, “And Tae… You like him because you think he’s not like the others, right? That he’s charming and humble and shy? But honestly, Tae is as manipulative and cocky as they come. The only difference between Jae and Tae is that Jae is upfront”. My mind is suddenly reminded of Yuta’s own warnings about Taeyong. “Tae is like me; he likes psychology. But unlike me, he uses it to fuck with girls. Surely, you should be able to realise that it doesn’t add up that he is friends with people who are supposedly so unlike him… birds of a feather flock together. There are so many signs that he’s playing you and a dozen other girls but you’ve subconsciously erased all…”

 “Okay, geez, stop!” I finally shouted, “You can go back! I can find my own way back to my room!” Ten really was using me as a form of entertainment because he wasn’t on his phone. Before he could respond, I was already turning on my heels and making my way to the building ahead of me.

“Be careful of wolves in sheep’s clothing, Y/N”, chuckled Ten. I ignored him as I continued walking.

two

Be careful of wolves in sheep’s clothing, Y/N.

Be careful of wolves in sheep’s clothing.

Be careful of wolves.

Be careful.

These words had not left my brain in the last three days. I hadn’t spoken to Ten since that night although I did occasionally catch glimpses of him and Yuta walking around the club. To my relief, neither of them even bothered to acknowledge my existence. I was still incredibly upset at the fact that Ten had essentially told me I had severe daddy issues which made me crave male attention. No wonder I’d never seen him or heard of him dating anyone; despite being insanely attractive, he wasn’t exactly a charmer.

“Y/N?” I heard a knock at my bedroom door. Panic set in my chest as I shuffled off my bed and cautiously made my way to the door. That deep voice didn’t belong to Jessica or my father, the only two other people with access to the suite. As I reached the door, another knock resonated through my room. Okay, if it was a murderer, they wouldn’t have been knocking, right? I turned to door knob and swung the door open only to come face to face with…

 “Taeyong?! What are you doing here?” I made no effort to hide the surprise in my voice. He stood there in a plain white shirt and swimming shorts, a shy smile rested on his lips.

“Your dad told me you hadn’t left your room in a few days. I-I wasn’t asking about you; he was talking to my dad and I was just there and he saw me and he just asked me to invite you out or something...” Taeyong sped through his sentence so quickly I had to take a moment to process what he was saying. “Anyway, I don’t want you to be bored and alone, and some friends of mine have booked out the West Court Swimming Pool for a party that’s starting in about an hour so I was wondering if you wanted to come? I know it’s already like 9PM so I understand if you don’t want to come.” I froze in place, simply staring at the Greek God before me; this sculpted piece of art who had just asked me to hang out with him. As I smiled, about to accept his invitation, it dawned on me that his ‘friends’ were the boys I’d been trying to avoid.

 “Actually… I don’t think that’s such a good idea…” I started.

“Is it because of Ten and Yuta?” he surprised me by asking. I looked up from my feet and into his eyes, nodding. “Ten told me what he said to you. It was pretty shitty but that kid just lacks a lot of social skills so don’t take it personally”.

 “He told you that he told me you’re basically evil?” I found myself asking. Taeyong’s eyes widened and I immediately regretted what I had said.

“No, he told me that he told you that you crave attention or something like that… Wait, he said I was evil?” Taeyong held my gaze as I tried to think of an excuse. I couldn’t so I just nodded. “I mean; do you think I’m evil?” he asked. I shook my head and he seemed relieved. “Listen, you didn’t hear this from me but Ten likes you. He’s had a crush on you for about three years now so maybe he’s trying to weed out the competition because he’s – I don’t know – obsessed with you or something”. Overwhelmed by this new revelation, I stood speechless for a few seconds before deciding to use this opportunity in my favour.

 “The competition? That would imply that you like me too”, I questioned. Again, Taeyong’s eyes widened at my response and he immediately ran his hand through his hair.

“Wow, I really shouldn’t have come. Your dad was worried about you so I just thought… Now I look pathetic; it looks like Ten and Yuta really did mess up my chances”, he stated. At the mention of Yuta’s name, my entire body began to burn up with anger. I just knew that he had been involved in this. Ten and Yuta were trying to sabotage Taeyong, and by me avoiding their entire group, I was playing into whatever this was. But if according to Ten, Yuta still liked me, and according to Taeyong, Ten liked me, why were they working together to – no, I was looking too much into this. I liked Taeyong and he had just revealed that he liked me too so that’s what I would put my energy towards.

“No, you don’t look pathetic. Actually, I’d love to come to the party”, I beamed. Taeyong immediately smiled back.

“That’s great! I’ll wait for you in the living room if that’s okay”. I nodded, closed my door and ran to my unpacked suitcase to pick out some swimwear before I changed my mind.

“You look nervous”, Taeyong observed as we walked hand-in-hand to the West Court. I looked up at him and he gave me a small reassuring smile. As we approached the swimming area, I couldn’t help but notice how quiet it was. I also began to realise that the West Court building didn’t seem to have any lights on as we walked towards it.

 “It’s really quiet and dark”, I stated, hoping Taeyong could explain why there was no sign of life. As Taeyong opened his mouth to say something, I felt a sudden mass of water being poured over my head, completely soaking into the floral dress I had thrown on over my swimwear. Suddenly, I was being bombarded with what felt like water balloons. I felt Taeyong’s hand pull me so that I was standing behind him. My initial reaction was to laugh at this surprise attack but as my body started getting itchy and hot, I realised that something wasn’t right. As an influx of water balloons continued to come our way, I brought my hand to my nose and took a quick sniff; there was a faint smell that told me that this wasn’t just plain water. “WHAT THE FUCK?” I suddenly shouted. The water balloons continued at a steady pace until one hit my straight in the face, the liquid going right into my eyes. The intense burning caused me to collapse onto the pavement, my head in my hands.

 “STOP!” I heard Taeyong call out. Almost immediately, the attack ceased. The lights on the side of the pavement that had previously been off suddenly sparked on. With my eyes burning, I couldn’t make out the faces of the figures around me but I could see their panicked body movements as they tried to defuse the situation.

“Fuck! Was that supposed to happen?” I recognise the voice that belonged to Jaehyun. I felt Taeyong pull me closer.

 “What was in those balloons?” Taeyong asked as he used the back of his hands to wipe my now stinging eyes.

“It was water infused with-with some of-of those hot J-Japanese bath s-salts of Yuta’s. Shit! I don’t think they’re supposed to get in the eyes!” I heard Jaehyun panic.

“Well they did so now what?” Taeyong spat out. Another voice I couldn’t recognise spoke up.

“It says to seek medical attention on the package”, the voice said. My vision was now un-blurring and as I lifted my head to look up at the figures in front of me, Taeyong grabbed my head and used his thumbs to wipe over my eyes, getting rid of the excess liquid.

“I’ll take you to the medical centre”, he whispered as he helped me up. “You guys clean this mess up and go back to your suites”, he ordered the others. As Taeyong and I started making our way to the medical centre, I quickly looked back and saw four figures begin to clear up the mess they had created.

“I can’t believe you have to wear an eye patch for the next couple of days”, laughed Sana as I recounted the previous day’s events for her over the phone.

 “I know right. And my dad is making me go out to watch a polo match in a few minutes”, I sighed. I had just finished putting on the final touches to my makeup but the massive black eyepatch covering my left eye and the redness still in the right eye took most of the attention.

“I’m sorry. Just wear a really big hat and keep your head down”, Sana tried to comfort me.

 “This would have never happened if you were here!” I cried out.

“Actually, yes it would have. If Taeyong had come to your door and asked you to go to a party with him, would you have been like ‘no, Sana is here’?”

 “Okay, fine! You’re right. I still can’t believe how sweet he was yesterday. He stayed with me until midnight in the medical centre and then walked me back to my family’s suite. Why does he hang out with those Neanderthals?” I felt myself getting angry just at the mention of his friends.

“I can’t believe Yuta and Ten would stoop to that level. Jaehyun, I can understand because when he’s not fucking girls, he’s harassing them”, Sana spat out angrily.

 “Yeah, they must have been furious to find out that Tae and I were coming to the party together… If the party was even real. I bet they set it all up just for that attack”, I mused.

“But then they wouldn’t have known Tae was going to bring you… Unless he was in on it too”.

 “Why would Tae be in on something like that? He was attacked too”, I shrugged off the claim, “I have to go now. I’ll talk to you later”. After exchanging goodbyes with Sana, I went into my dad’s room and grabbed the biggest hat I could find in Jessica’s collection before making my way down to reception to join my family.

The polo match was as dull as I had expected. I sat at our family’s table alone as my father and Jessica had gone to mingle. The tall lemonade in front of me had quickly become too warm under the intense heat of the sun. I found myself sweating but resisted the temptation to take off my hat as it had done a great job at hiding my eyepatch.

 “Hello Y/N. Fancy seeing you here”. I felt the presence of two bodies sitting either side of me.

“Hello Yuta. Are you surprised because you were expecting me to be blind after your little stunt last night?” I shot back.

 “What the fuck are you talking about?” he chuckled. He leaned his head forward and upon catching a glimpse of my red eye and eye patch, his smile fell. “What happened to you?”

It took all my energy not to slap him. “Oh it turns out that Japanese bath salt stuff isn’t eye-friendly”, I sarcastically retorted. Ten had now leaned forward and was studying my face too.

 “You’re a weird chick, Y/N. What are you actually talking about?” Ten joined in.

“Why are you two even talking to me? You’ve been blanking me for days”, I changed the subject, tired of their fake innocent act.

 “This polo match is dead and we thought terrorising you would cheer us up but it looks like someone beat us to it”, Yuta’s hand had found its way to my face; he gently stroked the involuntary tears falling from under my eye patch. I grabbed his wrist and pulled away his hand in an attempt to stop the fluttering in my stomach as our skin made contact.

“You don’t get to act like you care when you didn’t even say a word last night”, I hissed.

 “You keep referring to ‘last night’ like I’m supposed to know what the fuck you’re talking about”, Yuta hissed back.

“Yeah, Y/N, you sound a bit confused. Are you sure you didn’t eat any of these bath salt things?” Ten continued analysing my face. “Your face is so swollen. You should go to the medical centre”, he added.

 “You two are such assholes. You see how bad the damage is in day light so now you want to relinquish responsibility”, I scoffed.

“I’m literally going to fucking drag you out of here by your eyepatch if you don’t start making sense”, Yuta exhaled in frustration. As I opened my mouth to shout at him, I spotted Taeyong quickly making his way to the table.

 “Y/N, come with me. Don’t let them bother you anymore”, Taeyong took my hand and pulled me away, leaving behind a very confused looking Ten, and a very furious looking Yuta.

“…so then Ten told me the party was a West Court and I should be there at around 9PM. I never knew they were going to ambush us like that. Yuta told me earlier this morning that it was payback – whatever that means”, Taeyong explained.

 “How did they know I was with you? It didn’t even seem like there was a party to begin with so what if you hadn’t run into my dad then ended up inviting me?” I tried to make sense of everything.

“I-I don’t know Y/N. I just know that I texted them while you were getting ready to explain why I was running late”, he sighed. We were sitting in the reception area of the club’s main building enjoying the feeling of air conditioning hitting our hot skin. There were so many things that still didn’t make any sense. Taeyong looked at me and gave me a sympathetic smile before saying, “This is all my fault… You still look beautiful though”. I had long since removed my hat and allowed my puffy face to be revealed to him.

 “No, I don’t. My face is swollen”, I echoed Ten’s words. Taeyong simply leaned forward, placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

“You’re actually kidding me, right?” Taeyong and I both quickly turned to face Yuta and Ten who were now standing just a few metres away from us. “Tae, we agreed that she was off limits”, Yuta growled.

 “She’s not a possession”, Taeyong shot up in his seat and took a step closer to Yuta.

“You manipulative… What is this I hear from Jaehyun about bath salts and water balloons?” Yuta stepped closer to Taeyong.

 “I don’t know. You tell me; they were your bath bombs. Stop trying to act innocent now that you see the damage you’ve done”, Taeyong didn’t back down and now the two boys were standing there with their faces only inches apart.

“Tell me, Y/N...” Ten suddenly spoke up, “… did you actually see me or Yuta wherever the hell you were attacked last night? You seem pretty sure that we were there”. I carefully thought back to the night before. The stinging in my eyes. The blurry vision. Only being able to make out dark figures. Only being able to recognise Jaehyun’s voice.

 “There were four people who orchestrated the attack, and I know that one of them was Jaehyun. I didn’t recognise the other’s voice. And that leaves two others”, I worked out. Yuta rolled his eyes.

 “Tae has more friends that just Ten and I. That could have been anyone”, he countered.

“Then where you last night?” Taeyong suddenly asked. Yuta turned his attention back to Taeyong.

 “I can’t say…” Yuta’s voice was low and menacing.

 “And what about you, Ten?” Taeyong smirked.

 “…I can’t say either”, Ten cleared his throat.

“How fucking convenient”, I muttered before getting up from my seat and grabbing Taeyong’s hand. Yuta’s eyes immediately landed on our entwined fingers and I could tell he was angry.

 “Dude, I said she was off limits”, he simply said to Taeyong before turning around and making his way to the reception door. Ten began to follow but turned around before reaching the door.

 “Did you ever think that maybe five guys orchestrated that attack and one of them was the one standing by your side”, Ten chuckled humourlessly before leaving. Taeyong squeezed my hand tighter and looked down at me smiling. It made no sense for him to have been a part of it and so for the second time that day, I dismissed claims that he had been involved.

“There you are!” Jessica shouted from across the field. I ran over to her and my father; they were sitting at our table, my boiling hot lemonade keeping them company.

 “Please put the hat back on, Y/N, your face is a bit of an eyesore right now”, my dad mumbled. I placed the hat back on my head. “Honestly, you go out one night and I get a call from medical at stupid o’clock telling me that some boy is bringing you back home”.

“She was attacked, darling”, Jessica gritted her teeth.

 “What was she doing out so late at night anyway?” my dad huffed.

“You’re the one who told Taeyong I hadn’t left my room in days…” I countered.

 “And why would I do that? What business do I have discussing you with this Taeyong boy?” he turned to me.

“Well, maybe he just overheard you when you were speaking to his father about me”, I stated.

“And what business would I have discussing you with his father?” my dad looked perplexed. Come to think of it, he had a right to be confused. The situation made little sense now that I thought about it.

 “Tae came over yesterday and…”

“Oh, my fault”, Jessica laughed nervously, “He told me you two had plans and that he wanted to come and get you because you weren’t answering your phone… so I gave him our suite key”.

 “You gave a boy the key to our suite so he could visit my daughter while we weren’t there?” I heard my dad start to argue but my thoughts were elsewhere. Taeyong had not tried to call me, and up until he had come up to my room, we did not have plans…

three

Taeyong placed another chaste kiss on my lips as we walked hand-in-hand down the beach. It was getting late but the summer sun was refusing to set. The beach was only a 15-minute drive from the country club but I knew we had to leave soon in order to make it back in time for yet another networking dinner.

“Walking on the beach. Who would have thought Lee Taeyong was so cliché?” I giggled. Taeyong smirked at me.

 “What can I say? I’m full of surprises”, he whispered as we came to a sudden stop and he pulled me into an embrace. We stood there in silence for a few seconds before I pulled away from him.

“We should really be getting back now. My family is meeting up with the Jeongs before the dinner to pop open a bottle of champagne. Something about a business deal or whatever”, I mumbled, upset that I had to pull myself away from this perfect day. Ever since the stupid prank Jaehyun, Yuta and Ten had pulled five days ago, along with the mystery guy, Taeyong and I had spent every day together; we’d gone to restaurants outside of the club, we’d gone shopping, we’d walked on the beach and… we’d made out on more than one occasion. Taeyong wasn’t trying to rush me into anything deeper, and I truly appreciated that.

 “Okay, let’s go. I’m sorry you’ll have to spend time with Jaehyun though”, he laughed as he led me towards the stairs to the car park. “I know you still haven’t forgiven him and the others for what they did”.

“I’d be less upset if Yuta and Ten would actually admit that they were involved”, I huffed. Taeyong let out a sigh.

 “Like I said before, they’re both just trying to fuck with us. Ten is head over heels in love with you so he doesn’t want to see us together. And Yuta is still bitter over your break up, I guess”.

 “Did everyone know about Yuta and I because I thought we were a secret”, I laughed nervously.

 “Don’t worry. Ten and I are the only ones who really noticed. We’re more observant than other people”, he stated. I was immediately reminded of the night that Ten had told me that him and Taeyong were a lot alike but Taeyong used his ‘observations’ to manipulate girls. After learning that Taeyong had lied about having plans with me so that Jessica could let him into our suite, I’d been wary of him. However, having spent these last few days with him, I didn’t feel manipulated. He was sweet and considerate and hadn’t tried to get into my pants or anything so I was struggling to see how this benefited him in the slightest. Yuta and Ten had made no attempts to apologise or offer an explanation as to where they were during the night my eyes were almost burned out of my skull. Jaehyun had offered a very sincere apology but then instantly gone back to being his fuck-boy-self the next time I’d seen him. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing him at the pre-dinner celebration.

As luck would have it, I arrived at our family suite only to be met by my father, Jessica, Mr Jeong and Mrs Jeong toasting to whatever they were toasting to. Jessica immediately explained that they had decided to make it a ‘adults only’ thing and that I would have to go to the Jeongs’ suite to wait for them to finish their mini-celebration. Then they’d call us down to dinner. I’d essentially cut my date with Taeyong short to come back and be forced to hang out with the mess that was Jaehyun.

As I entered the Jeongs’ suite, I couldn’t help but notice that it was twice the size of ours. With its tall ceiling and grand furnishing, complete with a jacuzzi on the balcony, I could tell why my dad had been so eager to close his deal with Mr Jeong’s company. My father was nothing if not money and power hungry. It would explain why he spent most of my life trying to raise profit instead of his own daughter.

 “All of this could be yours if you married me one day”, I heard Jaehyun’s voice cut through my thoughts. I turned around to see him standing there with his hair dishevelled and half of his shirt buttons undone, a small smirk playing on his lips. It didn’t take a genius to notice that he had just finished fucking some girl in his room. And sure enough, as I was about to reply to his comment, a disgruntled blonde stumbled out of his room with her heels in her hands.

 “So, you just go around promising marriage to every girl you see, huh?” she spat out as she struggled to fix the strap of her red dress.

 “It’s the fastest way to get them into bed”, Jaehyun shot back, smiling.

“You’re lucky you’re rich and hot, but at the end of the day, does that money buy daddy’s attention?” she taunted.

 “See, all I heard was ‘you’re rich’, ‘you’re hot’ and ‘daddy’. I just fucked your brains out, okay… learn to share; Y/N is standing right there if you maybe want to…”

“You’re disgusting, Jeong Jaehyun. I can’t believe I actually liked you”, tears began forming in the girl’s eyes.

 “Gee, listen, I’m sorry Rochelle…”

“IT’S ROSÉ YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!” And with that, the blonde spun around and stomped towards the door. She struggled with it for a second before flinging it open and storming out.

“How rude. She didn’t even close the door”, Jaehyun mused, “Sorry you had to see that, darling”.

“You’re disgusting”, I mirrored Rosé’s words. Jaehyun brought his hand up to his chest in fake hurt.

 “I thought we were cool now”, he pouted. I rolled my eyes before falling back onto the large black sofa in the middle of the living room. I took my phone out of my pocket and began texting Taeyong. I heard Jaehyun’s footsteps coming towards me but I ignored them in an effort to remain calm and stop myself from attacking him. That Rosé girl clearly had very real feelings for him and he used that to his advantage then discarded her like a used tissue. “I said I was sorry about the balloons, okay?” he sighed as he took a seat next to me.

“No, not okay, Jaehyun. You, Ten and Yuta are such dicks”, I finally replied after realising that Taeyong would not be responding to my text for a while. Jaehyun looked at me, confused.

 “I get why I’m a dick. But what did those two idiots do to piss you off?”

“The same thing you did”, I shot back.

 “Babe, how many times have you been attacked by bath bomb infested water balloons this summer?” he laughed. I didn’t need to ask what he meant because I understood. Yuta and Ten hadn’t been there. “If you want, I can get Jisung, Jaemin and Jeno to write official apologies and we can get up at dinner tonight and read out our letters and cry and…” He continued with his sarcastic train of thought as I suddenly realised that I had spent the last five days angry at the wrong people. The three little Js, as everyone stupidly referred to them as, were boys from the lower year of our school who occasionally carried out Yuta, Jaehyun, Ten, Taeyong, and Xiaojun’s dirty work in order to impress them; I guess they hoped that by the time the older boys graduated, they’d become the new fuck-boy clique that got all the girls and was envied by all the guys. I felt disgusted that I lived in a world where young boys aspired to be like…

 “Jaehyun. Shut up. I’m over it”, I snapped. At that moment, I realised that I could use this opportunity to confirm what my heart already feared to be true. “I forgive you, the Js and Tae”, I said. I waited for Jaehyun’s face to twist in confusion and for him to ask me why I’d mentioned Taeyong but he simply smiled and nodded. I suddenly felt so stupid. I’d let Taeyong manipulate me for these last few days and turn me against Yuta and Ten… but to what end? What was he getting out of this?

An hour passed and I was thankful that Jaehyun’s fuck-boy façade had faded after about 10 minutes. As much as he liked to believe he was this heartless playboy, and as much as he liked to make others believe it too, he was actually a very decent guy. Some would go as far as to say that he was actually… cool; and not in the school popularity way, in a genuine and fun-to-be-around way. I still had to deal with the occasional pervy comment every now and again though. But he helped me forget about the mess that I would have to deal with later that night; I needed to confront Taeyong and apologise to Yuta and Ten.

“What are you thinking about?” Jaehyun whispered. My head was rested on his shoulder and his head was rested on my head as we watched TV.

 “I’m thinking… how are you this bearable when I normally want to punch you in the teeth?” I chuckled. Jaehyun laughed along.

 “Don’t go around telling girls I’m bearable! You’ll fuck up my street cred”, he simply replied before we settled back into a comfortable silence.

This time dinner was held outside. I’d quickly run to my suite, changed and redone my makeup when I got a call from Jessica telling us that they were heading to dinner. My father would not have appreciated me showing up in a swimsuit cover up. The dinner location was stunning; it was next to the lake and the trees were covered in dozens of fairy lights. White tables and chairs were carefully placed across the grass, and live classical music filled the space. I immediately started looking for either one of the boys I needed to talk to tonight and as luck would have it, I spotted Ten sitting on a chair by the lake looking down at his phone. I quickly grabbed my own chair and made my way towards him, startling him a little when I took a seat beside him.

 “Fucking hell”, he gasped.

 “Sorry, I thought you’d see me coming. Isn’t seeing stuff your super power or something?” I laughed. Ten shot me a dazzling smile before he looked back down at his phone.

 “Does this mean I’ve been forgiven for what I may or may not have done?”, he suddenly said. I knew he had realised that I’d worked out the truth and was trying to apologise. He wasn’t going to let this be easy, was he?

 “I don’t know what Tae wants from me but yeah, I’m sorry. I was… I am being played and I didn’t want to believe it because of my stupid crush”, I sighed, “You have to admit it looked so suspicious though! You and Yuta wouldn’t tell me where you were on that night and you’d both spent all week together throwing me dagger eyes”. Ten observed me for a moment.

 “You’re right. It was all a bit shady” he pondered.   

“So I’m guessing you’re not head over heels in love with me like Tae said?” I could feel my heart pounding as I waited for an answer but Ten simply burst out into laughter. I looked over at him and saw him struggling not to fall out of his chair as he continued cackling. Eventually, his laughter died down and he wiped the tears that had escaped from his eyes.

 “Sorry but that’s hilarious”, he stifled a giggle.

“Glad to know being attracted to me is that funny”, I made no effort to hide my hurt.

 “Shit, sorry. I’m guessing Tae failed to mention to you that I am 100% gay?” he smiled at me. My heart stopped. Suddenly, things started coming together. I’d never seen or heard of any of his relationships with girls but I assumed that he was just more private than his friends. I remembered him telling me that he was looking at that girl ‘just for fun’ the first time our families went to dinner but I’d assumed he meant that he wasn’t interested in her specifically. He did spend a lot of time with Yuta and they had failed to tell me where they were the night I was hurt. Was he… was he…?

“Are you dating Yuta?” I suddenly shouted out loud. Ten’s eyes widened and he turned to face me. We stared at each other for a few seconds before he started howling with laughter yet again. This time, he failed to restrain himself and ended up slipping out of his chair, unable to control his breathing.

 “Stop! You’re killing me”, he managed to choke out, “Yuta? Me and Yu… Oh my gosh, this is too good”. I sat in my chair, completely unimpressed by the entire situation. Why was he laughing at me?

 “If you’re not secretly dating him, then where were the two of you that night?” I snapped. Ten had managed to regain composure and had found his way back into his seat, still wiping away at his tears.

“I don’t know about Yuta because I wasn’t with him but I… Okay, promise not to tell Yuta but… I went to visit my ex. I made Yuta promise not to let me see him again but I caved that night and drove out to meet him in town. Tae must have found out through Jeno or something, that kid is a super spy, and he knew I wouldn’t say anything in front of Yuta when he asked so I’d look pretty guilty. God knows what he has on Yuta. Dude, I can’t believe you thought I was dating Yuta. You two had a thing; you know he’s straight”.

 “Sexuality is a spectrum”, I defended myself. Ten gave me a small shrug before looking out at the lake.

 “Wow, Tae really has us playing into his hands, doesn’t he?”

“Why are you friends with him?” I asked the question that had been plaguing my mind all this time.

 “Jae and Tae get on well because they both run on sex. I already told you that Tae and I are super similar so we just click. Tae and Yuta argue a lot because they both have ‘alpha male tendencies’ but they have this inseparable bond. Tae and Xiaojun have been friends for a very long time. They get on extremely well. I guess Tae is that one friend who is super annoying and starts shit all the time but the good outweighs the bad, you know. And to be honest, we usually don’t care about his schemes because they’re usually directed towards people we don’t really know or care about”, Ten mused. I sat there and thought about how strange this group’s dynamic was but apparently it worked. “What are you going to do now? Don’t think I haven’t noticed you running around with Tae”.

“I want to beat him at his own game”, I thought aloud.

“Good luck with that. Tae isn’t stupid. If you try and flip this around on him, he’ll see it from a mile away and manipulate the situation so that you end up worse off”, Ten warned me.

 “I can handle him. I just need to get inside of his head”.

“Okay, so if I ask you right now what Tae is trying to get from you, can you tell me? It’s obviously not sex because no offence but if he wanted you, he would have had you by now… many times”, Ten looked at me apologetically but he had a point.

“I don’t know what he wants”, I sighed, defeated. I thought back to the information I had garnered and tried to figure out what he wanted.

I told you she was off limits.

Tae and Yuta argue a lot because they both have ‘alpha male tendencies’.

And then it hit me. Tae wasn’t trying to get anything from me. He was using me to get something from Yuta.

four

“I can’t believe you’re not even coming anymore! I spent all my time here counting down till the day you get here and now you’re telling me that you’re just staying in Dubai?” I yelled at Sana’s sun kissed face through my FaceTime app. I shot up from the comfort of my blankets and waited for her excuse.

 “Y/N, I’m sorry! My dad surprised the step-bitch with a trip to Hawaii and so they’re going to be off doing God-knows-what for the rest of the summer. I can’t exactly show up to a family country club resort alone”, she pouted.

 “You can stay with my family!” I almost shouted. Sana let out a sigh as she readjusted the angle so that I was now looking at the sunset from her hotel window.

“This is my view right now! I just want to chill here for as long as I can. The country club sounds so dramatic right now. I heard from Rosé that you’ve been hanging out with Jaehyun for the past couple of days. She says she saw you in his hotel room once and she’s seen you guys walking around together, eating ice cream and all that. Y/N? Is there something you want to tell me?” Sana had now readjusted the camera onto herself and she smirked at my shocked expression.

“No, I am not dating Jaehyun… He’s just been helping me with a plan to get back at Tae. I asked Ten to help but he said he didn’t want to get involved, especially with the losing team. He’s so sure Taeyong is already one step ahead of me. He’s so disrespectful!” I huffed.

 “Hey, don’t say that about my future husband!” Sana scolded me. It had taken all my self-control not to tell Sana that Ten was actually gay. It wasn’t some big secret or anything, Ten hadn’t really hesitated to tell me, but it also wasn’t my job to go around announcing it to people who didn’t already know. I loved Sana but she was such a gossip; if I told her, she’d needlessly blow it out of proportion.

 “Whatever. At least Jaehyun has been a big help. We’ve come up with a plan. It’s simple but effective. He wasn’t hard to convince; he was bored so…”

 “He’s a billionaire with unlimited access to anything and any girl… He can’t get bored; it sounds like he just really likes spending time with you”, Sana wiggled her eyebrows. I rolled my eyes at her statement. “So, what is this masterplan?”

 “Taeyong is using me to get something from Yuta but I don’t really understand what he could possibly want. I haven’t seen Yuta since I accused him of the water balloon thing so I can’t even ask and I’m pretty sure he blocked my number because he’s not responding to any of my texts. Jaehyun hasn’t seen him either and apparently every time he calls, Yuta always says he’s busy. Taeyong hasn’t talked to him either so his plan must not be working because how do you get something from someone if they’re not there?” Sana nodded along eagerly at my ramblings, “The plan is to step up the game. Tae must be getting desperate for Yuta’s attention so I’m going to make him think I want to sleep with him then when he comes into my room, I’ll tell him I’m going to get something and that I’ll be back. Then when I leave, he’ll get naked and Jaehyun will be in the room already with a camera, he’ll take a picture, and we’ll basically own Tae because we’ll have his nudes. Then we’ll make him confess everything”. I smiled proudly at my scheme.

 “That is the single most ridiculous, convoluted, barely R-rated High School Musical bullshit plan I have ever heard in my entire existence”, Sana snorted, “No wonder Ten called you the losing team. That sounds like the plot of a Gossip Girl episode. It took you three days of talking to Jaehyun to come up with that?”

 “Shut up! It was my idea and Jaehyun is just going along with it”, I pouted.

“Damn, that boy must be in love with you if he’s going along with this rejected Teen Wolf storyline”, Sana’s laughs continued to fill my room.

 “You’re such a bitch”, I sulked, trying to hide my own smile. I had to admit, it wasn’t one of my finest plans. “I have to go now. I have an awesome plan to carry out”.

“Oh, you have second plan?” Sana cackled as I hung up on her. I laughed to myself as the room fell silent. Ten had told me that going against Taeyong was dangerous and that I would end up worse off so was this really the plan I wanted to go with?

“Sana is right. It is a shit plan”, Jaehyun simply said as we walked towards the pool.

 “So why were you going to help me carry it out?” I cried as I playfully hit his arm. He stumbled back in fake agony as I rolled my eyes and tried not to laugh at his childishness.

 “Because either way, it’s going to be fucking hilarious. I’m on both sides here, babe. Tae is my boy and you… you’re hot”, he smirked, snaking his hand around my waist. I quickly pushed him off and started walking faster.

“I can’t have someone who is on both teams. You might double cross me. I assume that in your twisted mind, Tae takes priority?”

“Bros before hoes”, Jaehyun shrugged. I had to admire his loyalty, I guess.

“Why are you even helping me then?” I finally decided to ask.

 “Like I said, you’re hot”

“There are girls around here who are fifty times hotter than me that you could be… entertaining”

 “You’re a different kind of hot”, Jaehyun simply smirked as he looked down at me. As I was about to ask what he meant, I heard Taeyong’s voice calling my name. Jaehyun and I both stopped and turned as we saw Taeyong running toward us.

“Hey baby”, Taeyong smiled as he finally reached us. He pulled me by the waist and placed a gentle kiss on my forehead. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Jaehyun shifted uncomfortably as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. Taeyong must have noticed the shift in atmosphere too because he suddenly let go of me and looked between Jaehyun and I.

 “Was I interrupting something?” Taeyong asked almost mockingly. He looked at Jaehyun, then back at me again before slowly nodding his head, “My bad. I’ll catch you tonight at Mark’s party, right?” he looked over at me. I gave him a forced smile and nodded.

 “I’ll see you then”, I said, my voice barely a whisper.

“Hey, and I heard Yuta will be there!” Taeyong beamed. He turned his head to Jaehyun, “Me, you and Yuta seem to have a lot of catching up to do”. Jaehyun clenched his jaw and kept his eyes trained on Taeyong.

 “I don’t think so. Nothing much has really happened lately”, Jaehyun shot back.

“Well then let’s change that tonight”, Taeyong smirked. He turned back to me and pushed his lips onto my own. I almost stumbled back but Taeyong’s arm snaked around my waist once more as he pulled me closer. He slid his tongue into my mouth and I stupidly let him. After a few seconds, Taeyong finally pulled away with his signature smirk plastered on his face. He turned to Jaehyun and winked before turning around and walking back in the direction he had come from.

 “Are you sure you want revenge because from where I’m standing, you’re pretty happy being his play toy”, Jaehyun scoffed. I adjusted my dress, embarrassed.

 “I can’t let him know I’m onto him”, I tried to justify my actions. Jaehyun let out a chuckle.

“He knew something was up from the second he saw us together… You know what, you’re boring me now. I’m gonna go find one of those girls who is fifty times hotter than you to entertain me”. And with that, Jaehyun turned around and started walking back in the direction Taeyong had gone. I stood there, confused by what had just happened. As I was about to follow Jaehyun, I heard a clap from behind me. I turned to see a smiling Rosé walking slowly towards me, applauding.

 “I never thought I’d see the day Jaehyun got a taste of his own medicine”, she smiled.

“What do you mean?” I asked her.

 “You just made out with Taeyong in front of him. I could practically see the jealousy bubbling up from all the way down there”, she threw her head back in laughter, “I should be more upset at you for stealing the guy I like but after the way he has treated me, I’m happy the universe is punishing him… even if that means I have to permanently lose him to you”, her smile faded a little.

 “Oh no, it’s not like that. He was just helping with something”

“When was the last time you saw Jaehyun just ‘helping’ some girl with no ulterior motive?” Rosé rolled her eyes, “How do you do it? You managed to get Ten to actually fucking look at you for longer than he looks at that damn phone, you’ve got Taeyong making out with you and taking you on dates, you’ve got Jae crushing on you, and I even heard rumours that you and Yuta were a thing. Are you just working your way through the group? If so, let me just tell you, Xiaojun is a phenomenal fuck. I hooked up with him last year and to this day, he is still the best sex I’ve ever had. Don’t tell Jaehyun”, she laughed as she began walking away. I was left standing in the middle of the sidewalk again, alone and perplexed.

I sat on the sofa in our living room as I scrolled through Instagram. There were already a shit ton of stories from Mark’s party being posted. The party had only started about an hour ago but people had already blown up all of their social media, telling everyone what a good time they were having. After what Rosé had said to me, I’d realised that this was all getting too messy. This wasn’t just some summer drama; once we got back to our normal lives, I’d still have to deal with these boys on a somewhat regular basis. As I sat there in my tank top and pyjama bottoms, ignoring Taeyong’s texts, my phone vibrated yet again.

Unknown: Hey. It’s Yuta.

I immediately replied.

Y/N: Why the new number?

Unknown: I have more than one phone you know.

Y/N: What do you want? You blocked me on the other one?

Unknown: Yeah, sorry about that. Why aren’t you at Mark’s thing?

I looked at the message for a moment and contemplated what I could say. It then dawned on me that I was trapped in this stupid cycle of lies and manipulation. Why would Yuta contact me from a completely different number instead of just unblocking me on his other phone? Come to think of it, when we used to be whatever we were, I only ever saw him with one phone. I was tired of the games so I simply replied.

Y/N: Is this really Yuta?

The reply piqued my curiosity.

Unknown: Come to the party and find out ;)

By the time I arrived at Mark Lee’s suite, it was practically overflowing with people and some party goers had started drinking and hanging out in the corridors. It took me approximately ten minutes to actually get into the suite itself, and even then, it was so packed it took me an additional five minutes to get to the kitchen. As I reached the counter which was covered in drinks, my phone buzzed again.

Unknown: You actually came. You must still really be into me.

I rolled my eyes and replied.

Y/N: I still don’t know who I’m talking to. Taeyong, if this is you, I’m done with your games.

I pressed ‘send’ only to look up and immediately regret my decision. Taeyong’s frame made its way through the crowd. He spotted me, smiled and started making his way towards me. I looked back down at my vibrating phone.

Unknown: This isn’t Taeyong. I told you it’s Yuta.

I looked up again and saw Taeyong getting closer, no phone in his hand.

“I was scared you wouldn’t make it”, Taeyong shouted over the music as he finally reached me.

“Here I am!” I yelled back. He smiled at me and leaned in closer to my ear.

 “I just wanted to say that I think I’m done”. I looked up at him, confused.

“Done with the party? It only started an hour and a half ago”, I was getting tired of straining my voice.

 “No, babe, done with this”, he motioned between us, “You obviously aren’t as oblivious as I thought”. Wait, he was shutting this down? If anything, I was the one who should have been getting to dump him. Even though we weren’t dating, I wanted the satisfaction of breaking it off. I found myself sighing with relief anyway, glad it was all finally over. I was going to be on the next flight to Dubai tomorrow morning no matter what my father had to say. This place was suffocating me.

 “Whatever. Bye Tae”, I turned to leave but turned back to ask one final question, “What were you actually trying to achieve here?” Taeyong simply smiled and looked around the room. He leaned into my ear once again.

 “You’ll find out in a bit. I still need you for one more thing. Jaehyun asked me not to hurt you but I’m already doing him the favour of leaving you alone”, he simply said. I stood there, perplexed.

 “I refuse to be part of any more of this silliness”. And with that, I turned to leave. As I reached the entrance, I checked my phone for any texts from Yuta I may have missed.

Unknown: Come to the room with the white door. I need to talk to you, Y/N.

I still needed to apologize for not believing him about the water balloons. I also now wanted to make sure we were in a good place. I missed him more than I liked to admit. When we weren’t too busy fucking, we actually had a great time together… secretly of course. Sneaky movie dates, spending time at each other’s houses, and even going on long drives out of town just so we could talk; I missed our relationship which wasn’t really a relationship. I wouldn’t admit this to anyone but Yuta was my first love and I wished my stupid crush on Taeyong hadn’t made me ruin what we were… what we could have been.

Y/N: I’m on my way.

I turned around yet again and pushed my way through a dark corridor, towards the white door which was decorated with a sign that read ‘DO NOT ENTER’. Looking around for any other possible options, I realised that this had to be the door Yuta was talking about. I twisted the door knob and attempted to push it open but it must have been barricaded from the inside. I attempted again to open it. Again. Again. Once more. Suddenly, the door flung open.

 “Can’t you read, you fucking…?” Yuta stood before me shirtless and with his hair dishevelled. His eyes instantly widened as he saw me. It took less that a second for a gorgeous red headed girl to appear behind him in nothing but a bra and panties. She held onto his arm and looked over at me before attempting to hide her almost-naked body, embarrassed. “Y/N…”

 “Is this what you wanted to show me?” I could feel the tears threatening to fall from my eyes. In reality, I had no reason to be this upset. But after finally admitting to myself that I loved Yuta, it hurt to see him with someone else. Even though I knew he’d been sleeping around. I guess seeing it with my own eyes hurt more than I anticipated.  

 “What are you talking about?” Yuta looked down at me. By the looks of it, Yuta had been a little too preoccupied to have been the one texting me. I could think of nothing but to run away so I did. I pushed my way through crowds of people yet again and made it to the entrance. I turned to look back and see if Yuta had made an attempt to follow me but he hadn’t. Before I turned to leave, I did however notice the big smile on Taeyong’s face as he watched me.

five

I knew I was being ridiculous.

 It was 4AM in the morning and after crying in my room for what felt like forever, I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and just pack my bags. I didn’t know where I was going but I just knew that I didn’t want to be here anymore. I didn’t want to go to Dubai and ruin Sana’s drama free break, and I didn’t want to go back home because that would just remind me that when the summer comes to an end, I have to go back to school and confront… him. At this point I didn’t even know who ‘him’ was. I didn’t want to confront Taeyong because I could already see his smug grin mocking me. I didn’t want to confront Jaehyun because he was mad at me for some strange reason. And I most definitely didn’t want to confront Yuta after seeing him with another girl. Again, I knew I was being ridiculous. I was mad at Yuta for sleeping with someone else when we weren’t dating? Yeah, that’s insane.

I threw the last dress into my suitcase and hastily zipped it up. I’d made the bed and emptied the wardrobe; I was ready to leave. I wanted to go before my dad or Jessica woke up so that I wouldn’t have to deal with that mess. I took one last look in the mirror; my makeup was smudged and my hair was… I don’t even know what my hair was doing, but I didn’t care. I grabbed my suitcase handle and made my way into the living room. I quickly realised that dragging my suitcase on a hardwood floor wasn’t exactly the stealthiest escape plan so I ended up lifting the heavy case and waddling to the door.

“We’re almost there, doll”, the taxi driver looked at me through the rear view mirror. I had anxiously been fidgeting with the watch on my wrist, and the loose string from my jeans… and the handle of my bag… and my hair. He had obviously sensed my negative energy and felt the need to reassure me that I was almost at the airport. Little did he know that his statement only made things worse. The closer I got to the airport, the quicker I’d have to make a decision about where exactly I was going. I grabbed my phone from my bag; I hadn’t looked at it since I left Mark’s party. I had 3 new messages. One was from my service provider telling me about the ‘exciting new offers’ they would give me if I introduced a friend. The other was from Jaehyun.

JJ: Hey. Sorry about what happened earlier. I let Tae get the best of me. I also got sucked up in this fight for your heart and somehow managed to convince myself I liked you too. You’re fucking cool and we’d be great friends but I don’t think my feelings are that deep… Anyway, I told Tae to leave you alone and not hurt you so you’re in the clear now ;) Erm, also I saw you talking to Rosé after I left… Is she still mad at me? :’(

I laughed at his message but still felt annoyed by his attitude towards me earlier so I simply texted back.

Y/N: She said Xiaojun is a phenomenal fuck.   

I felt petty but I knew he’d see the humour in it… eventually, and we could laugh about it… eventually. I really did want to be his friend. If there is one thing I’d learned this summer, it’s that Jeong Jaehyun was alright. I hoped he’d clean up his act and apologise to Rosé. I moved on to my final message. It was from Ten.

TenOutOfTen: Dude, what did you do to Yuta? He’s in my room practically crying?! I hope you burn in hell for indirectly making me wake up so early… bitch.

Again, I laughed at the text but my laughter soon faded when I re-read the first half of the message. Yuta was in Ten’s room, crying. And he must have mentioned me because Ten had asked me what I had done. I checked the timestamp on the message; it was sent 50 minutes ago. My curiosity had me wanting to tell the taxi driver to turn back immediately but just as I was considering this option, the taxi pulled up to the airport. It was large and bright yet startlingly quiet. I hopped out of the vehicle and paid my driver.

 “Keep the change”, I smiled as I adjusted my bag and began walking away.

“Keep the change? Oooh, splashing the cash, are we?” I heard a voice laugh. I turned back to the taxi rank and saw a figure sitting on his suitcase. I didn’t immediately recognise his voice but as he turned his head back to me and I saw his face, I rolled my eyes. Xiaojun.

 “What are you doing here? I heard you were volunteering or something like that”, I dragged my bag back towards him. He stood from his perched position and suddenly towered over me.

 “I finished my volunteer stuff. It was fun but Taeyong’s texts told me that the real fun was at the country club. I came to see the drama is real life but it looks like the female lead is leaving before curtain call?” Xiaojun smirked.

“You left your volunteer position to come watch some petty feud between Yuta and Tae? I thought you were the more decent of the fuckboys”, I let out an exaggerated pout.

 “Don’t flatter yourselves. The programme was a short one; I’m going to the club because my parents need me to complete their ‘happy family’ set up”, Xiaojun explained, “The petty feud between Yuta and Tae was just a nice little treat”.

“Well I hate to break it to you but it’s all over now”, I was about to turn around when Xiaojun chuckled.

“Over? According to Jaemin’s texts, you walked in on Yuta and Umji. Tae confronted Yuta about fucking his ex. And now Umji has broken up with Yuta because she doesn’t want to be part of their ‘sick little dick measuring contest’” Xiaojun turned around and looked down the road, “Why the fuck is my Uber taking so long? I can’t stand getting into taxis I didn’t order. It’s creepy as fuck; the dude could be some insane looney who bought his taxi sign on eBay and you just get in his fake taxi and…”

“Wait a minute…”, the cogs were turning in your head and you were finally starting to see the bigger picture. “Yuta was secretly dating Umji, Tae’s ex, so Tae started messing with me as a warning for Yuta to back off?”

 “Basically, yes. Jeno accidentally told Tae that he had seen Umji leaving Yuta’s house one morning when he’d gone over. Tae and Yuta are idiots who never talk shit through so instead of Tae asking Yuta to stop seeing Umji, Tae decided to pretend he didn’t know and try to get Yuta to admit it himself. Yuta played dumb so Tae got pissed and decided to give him a taste of his medicine by targeting the one girl he knows Yuta gives a shit about”, Xiaojun pointed to me.

 “Why was Yuta dating Umji anyway?” my jealously was getting the better of me, “When Yuta and I were… He told me he couldn’t stand her”.

“Ego. It’s all about ego when it comes to Dumb and Dumber. Even though you refer to us so lovingly as ‘fuckboys’, we do have our weaknesses. Tae’s is Umji and Yuta’s is you. We all know each other’s weaknesses and they instantly become off limits but after Tae and Yuta had yet another alpha male standoff, Yuta hooked up with Umji because he wanted to prove to himself that he was better than Tae. Umji was the first girl who ever really properly distracted from you so I guess he kept her around… I don’t know”, Xiaojun threw his glance down the road yet again but there was nothing in sight.

 “You know you can track your Uber on the app. It tells you how far it is?” I simply stated.

Xiaojun raised his eyebrows and looked back down at his phone. “This is my first time using this. I usually have the family’s driver take me everywhere but I didn’t want to wake him so early”, he tapped at his phone, “It’s close”. We stood there in an uncomfortable silence before I decided to turn around and leave; I finally had the whole story. “Why are you leaving?”

 “Why not? Your idiot friends have been using me as a prop in their game and I’m tired”, I sighed.

“It’s all over now though, right? Umji and Yuta are over. Him and Tae are pissed at each other but they’ll hug it out in a few days. Everything is chill”, at that moment, Xiaojun’s phone beeped and he looked down to read his text, “Maybe not…”

“What is it now? Did Umji reveal that she was pregnant? Did Jaehyun propose to Rosé? Did Yuta and Tae finally admit their feelings for each other and finally make it official? At this rate, nothing would surprise me”, I chuckled humourlessly. As I said this, Xiaojun’s Uber pulled up in front of us.

 “You might want to get in and come back with me, babe”.

“And why would I do that?” I laughed.

 “I just got a text from Ten and…” My own phone suddenly vibrated in my hands. I looked down and couldn’t understand what I was reading.

TenOutOfTen: Your idiot ex got drunk and fell off a roof. He’s at the General Hospital downtown!

six

Five years earlier

It was just my luck that the day my father had told me he couldn’t pick me up from school, it just so happened to start pouring down with rain. I usually had a driver who would come get me but my mother had asked my dad to do it for a month in an effort to ‘improve our relationship’. My father hadn’t been too fond of that idea but he did it anyway. He probably did it out of guilt; my mother was growing suspicious of his ‘innocent friendship’ with a new employee at his company, Jessica. I’d met her once and she seemed lovely. My mother was probably just being paranoid. Anyway, my father had promised to tell the driver to pick me up instead but he’d obviously forgotten as I ended up standing outside the school doors for 45 minutes.

 “Are you okay, darling?” a voice rang from the bottom of the stairwell. A woman with beautiful long black hair had stepped out of her car and was staring at me, a wet, crying teenager at the top of the stairs, freezing my butt off. “Where are your parents?” she asked.

 “I don’t t-thing anyone is c-coming”, I stuttered. She gave me a sympathetic smile and asked where I lived. I told her.

 “Oh, you’re Y/N, right? We live just three houses away from you; we moved in last month. I met your mother at brunch a few weeks back and she told me she had a daughter but you couldn’t make it because of tennis practice”, she beamed at me.

“Oh”, was all I could say. This had all been true. I’d skipped brunch a few weeks back in favour of playing tennis with this girl I’d met a few months ago called Sana. She was very sweet and I knew we’d become good friends.

 “I hope you don’t find this odd but… if you need a ride, I can take you home. I’m actually here to pick up my son Yuta; he should be finishing lacrosse try-outs in a few minutes. Maybe you know him, he’s your age so he could be in some of your classes!” I shook my head. I didn’t know him.

“But if it’s alright, I’d really like a ride back home, ma’am”, I sniffled. The woman smiled sympathetically and nodded, walking over to her car and opening one of the back doors. I strongly considered the fact that I might be getting kidnapped and that this Yuta kid didn’t actually exist but I was too cold and wet to care. Plus, maybe if I went missing, my dad would feel super guilty and actually care about me for a minute. I made my way down the stairs and into the woman’s car. She closed the door and walked over to the driver’s side, slipping herself into the seat. She drummed her fingers on the steering wheel as we sat there in silence for about 3 minutes. Suddenly, the passenger door swung open and someone took that seat. I couldn’t see their face properly but I could I could see their black, rain-soaked hair.

 “Yuta, this is Y/N. She lives a few houses down from ours”, his mother turned in her seat to point at me. Yuta slowly turned his head and shifted his body so that he could see me clearly. He was beautiful. How had I not noticed him before? My eyes scanned his face at least ten times, my gaze lingering on his pink lips, before either one of us finally spoke.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N”, he smiled, “I’m Yuta”.

Present day

Xiaojun held me close as I cried into his coat. The Uber ride felt never ending. Xiaojun hadn’t said anything since I’d started sobbing after I read the text. He’d simply just walked over to me a hugged me, held me for a minute, then ushered me into the car. I knew this wasn’t entirely my fault but I had definitely played my part. If anything happened to Yuta, I would never forgive myself. I finally pulled away from Xiaojun and looked down at my phone. There were no new messages. I don’t know what I was expecting; maybe I wanted to look down and find a text that read ‘just kidding’ followed by an eggplant emoji and a winking face. I could handle this being some sick twisted joke better than I could handle Yuta actually being critically hurt.

 “We’re here”, Xiaojun’s voice pulled me from my thoughts. I immediately opened the door and sped towards the hospital entrance. As I ran towards the building, I could make out two figures walking out; Taeyong and Jaehyun. They both looked distraught, Taeyong more so than Jaehyun. It was probably the guilt eating away at him. Jaehyun saw me and immediately called my name. I ran over to them and into Jaehyun’s arms.

 “What’s happening, Jaehyun?” I tried to control my sobs.

“It’s alright, babe, he’s in surgery right now so there’s no more information we can get until after it’s over”, he whispered. We both stood there in our embrace for a while before we pulled away. I looked over at Taeyong who stared back with red, apologetic eyes. He was hurting, maybe even more than me, but I was too upset to care. I wanted to hit him, to slap him across the face and tell him this was all his fault. I wanted to tell him that if anything happened to Yuta, he would have to live with it for the rest of his life. He would have to understand that he caused all of this because of his stupid ego. But as I looked at him and saw the broken boy staring back, I realised that he already knew.

 “I’m so sorry”, he simply said before turning away and walking towards an already waiting car.

 “I should probably go with him. If you want to, you can come with us. Nothing is going to happen for the next couple of hours”, Jaehyun sighed. I vigorously shook my head.

“No, no, I want to be here. I want to be right here. Nowhere else”, I protested. Jaehyun nodded as a small smile appear on his face.

 “Your guys have one fucked up love story, huh? I’d love to hear it one day”. And with that, he followed in Taeyong’s footsteps.

 “Jaehyun, can you please take my suitcase back to the club. It’s over there with Xiaojun”, I smiled weakly. Jaehyun gave me a small nod and made his way to Xiaojun who was struggling with both mine and his suitcases.

“Y/N! Thank God, you’re here!” I heard as soon as I walked into the hospital waiting room. It was Yuta’s mother.

“Mrs Nakamoto”, I called as I ran into her arms. We held each other tightly and I found myself sighing with relief. She was probably the only person who truly knew the extent of my relationship with Yuta, well, apart from the hooking up. She knew how much he truly meant to me, despite the aloof demeanour I treated him with over the years.

“He’ll be alright! Don’t worry; I’ve prayed and I’ve prayed. He’ll be alright”, Mrs Nakamoto comforted me as she pulled away from our hug. “The injuries aren’t as bad as I thought they’d be. He probably broke a few things but his head wasn’t hurt that much so there is no possibility of anything more than a concussion”. A sigh of relief escaped my lips once again. I finally took the time to look around the small white room. Apart from myself and Mrs Nakamoto, the only other person in the room was Ten who was sleeping on the dark blue sofa near the vending machine.

 “Why didn’t he go back to the country club with Tae and Jaehyun?” I asked.

“Jaehyun didn’t think it would be a good idea for Taeyong and Ten to be in the same car together. Ten is pretty furious at Taeyong. He said he was going to leave in a different car but then he fell asleep soon after. I wish I had a blanket for him”, explained Mrs Nakamoto. I look over at Ten one more time and smiled at his small figure, curled in a little ball as soft snores filled the room. “What happened, Y/N? Why did my baby try to kill himself?” I looked back at Mrs Nakamoto whose eyes were now filling with tears.

 “Oh no! He didn’t try to kill himself. He was just being drunk and dramatic. Don’t worry, Mrs Nakamoto, he’s not suicidal”, I offered her small smile.

 “I really hope you’re right… God, I’ve missed you. You never come by the house anymore”, Mrs Nakamoto sighed as she took a seat; I went and sat next to her.

“I know. I’m sorry”.

We sat in a comfortable silence for about ten minutes before the waiting room doors swung open and I turned to see the last person I wanted here tonight. Umji.

Three years earlier

“I’m not going to tell you”, I screamed through my laughter as Yuta tickled me. I tried to push him off of me in an attempt to escaped his grasp but he was too strong. I could feel myself edging towards the side of the bed so I decided to give in before we both fell onto the floor of Yuta’s bedroom. “Fine, fine, I’ll tell you!”.

Yuta immediately stopped his attack on my body, and he sat up at the foot of his bed. He looked over at me expectedly. “I don’t understand why you’re being so difficult. I know all the date-worthy guys at school. I could set you up with anyone”.

“I don’t have a crush though. I just think there are some cute guys”, I explained.

 “Like?”

“Jaehyun”

 “He’s such a player!”

“He’s cute! Okay, Taeyong”

 “Even worse!”

“What? Okay, fine. Xiaojun”

“Better but still not good enough for you”

 “Why do you hang out with them if they’re such bad guys?” I laughed.

“I’m a bad guy too”, Yuta shrugged, a smirk playing on his lips. I wished I could argue against this point but deep down I knew that he was right; I just chose to ignore his cocky rich boy side. “Choose someone outside of my friendship circle. And stop checking out my friends!”

“Hmmm, what about Ten?”

“I SAID SOMEONE OUTSIDE MY FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE, YOU IDIOT! Plus, that would never happen, trust me”

“Why not?”

“Just choose someone else!”

 “Mingyu”. I’d seen him playing lacrosse when I went to watch Yuta and I remember thinking he was one of the most gorgeous boys I’d ever seen.

“Oh. Yeah, he’s cool, I guess. I could get him to ask you out”, Yuta mused. I tried to hide my excitement.

“What about you? Who do you like?” I found myself suddenly curious.

“No one in particular. Who do you think I’d look good with?” Yuta crawled across the bed so that he was now sitting next to me, our heads both resting on the headboard.

 “You’d look good with… Sakura, or maybe Karina, what about Umji?” I analysed all the beautiful girls in our school.

“Hmm… what about Sana?” he asked, turning his head to look at me.

��You can’t like Sana! She’s my closest friend”

“Exactly! That’s how it feels when you say stuff about Xiaojun and Jaehyun and all those guys”, he pouted. I laughed and turned my head to face him. Our faces were close but we were used to invading each other’s personal space.

“Okay, fine. I’ll stay away from your clique of players and you stay away from Sana. I can set you up with Umji and you can set me up with Mingyu”, I smiled.

 “No, I can’t stand Umji. She’s so fake, and she lives on drama. She loves starting it, being part of it and talking about it; she pretends she doesn’t but really, she craves being the centre of attention. She’s more Tae’s type”, he laughed and I laughed along with him. “Why are we talking about this again?”

 “You said that this is the ages when teenagers start losing their virginity so we should start dating to get the process going”, I whispered against his lips. I hadn’t noticed that our faces had drifted even closer together. It was then I realised that if we didn’t stop, we’d kiss.

 “Well, I just realised that things would move a lot quicker if we just skipped all that dating shit and went straight for the sex”. And before I could ask him what he meant his lips were on mine. I had never kissed anyone before and I was sure he hadn’t either so we both moved slowly and cautiously. Yuta pulled me up onto his lap, our lips staying connected. We moved them in sync for some seconds when I felt Yuta’s tongue slip through the small gap of my slightly open lips. It felt strange at first; someone else’s tongue was in my mouth, but I quickly found my own tongue beginning to explore his mouth. I felt his hands slipping under my t-shirt and working their way up to my bra. As he was about to unhook my bra, his bedroom door flung open. I pushed myself off him and innocently looked towards the entrance.

 “I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt!” Mrs Nakamoto looked between Yuta and I, flustered. Yuta awkwardly ran his fingers through his hair and jumped off the bed.

 “You didn’t interrupt anything”, Yuta mumbled.

 “No, I did. I’m sorry. I was just going to say I’m going out for a bit but now I’m not so sure”, Mrs Nakamoto chuckled. “I mean; I knew you guys liked each other but I didn’t know you were secretly doing whatever this is. Maybe I shouldn’t have let you guys have all those sleepovers…” she continued to tease us.

 “That was the first time, okay. We were just… testing something”, Yuta walked over to the door and attempted to close it.

 “Oh no, no! Just because I like the idea of you two being together, doesn’t mean I’m going to continue letting you hang out in this bedroom with the door closed. I’m too young to be a grandmother! No sex until you get married, guys!” Mrs Nakamoto exclaimed. Yuta groaned, and I simply buried my head into my hands and wished I could disappear.

Present day

“What are you doing here?” I jumped up from my seat and quickly walked over to Umji.

 “The same thing you are. I’m here for my boyfriend”, Umji rolled her eyes at me, “Just because we went through a bump in our relationship doesn’t mean I don’t love him and care for his well-being”.

 “You didn’t go through a ‘bump’, you broke up. And please don’t say you love him because you don’t and he doesn’t love you”, I spat out. Umji rolled her eyes again and took out her phone. She unlocked it and tapped at it until she seemed to find what she was looking for. She turned the phone to face me and I looked over the device; it was a picture of a big bouquet of flowers with a card that simply read ‘love Yuta’.

 “He had this sent to me on my birthday, along with a custom-made Tiffany necklace. What did he ever do for you? From what I heard, you were a quick fuck when he was bored”, Umji smirked. I could feel my blood boiling at her words but the picture she’d shown me calmed my nerves. I remembered Yuta telling me that flowers and a necklace are…

“Excuse me, sweetheart, but unfortunately the doctor said there can only be a maximum of three guests”, Mrs Nakamoto suddenly chimed in. I turned to face her but her eyes were settled on Umji.

 “Then why can’t Y/N leave? I’m his girlfriend”, Umji whined, “And who the hell are you to decide who stays and who goes?”

 “I’m his mother”, Mrs Nakamoto retorted, “And from what I hear, you’re no longer his girlfriend… Thank God”. Umji’s eyes suddenly widened as she realised who she had just addressed in such a rude manner.

 “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were his…”

“I think it’s time for you to go, Umji”, I smiled as a flustered Umji tried to formulate an excuse. “And don’t pretend you care about him. If anything you’re probably just here to live tweet the drama for the whole school”. Umji looked over at me ready to say something but then decided against it. Maybe she could tell that I’d been crying and distraught and in no mood for her shit. She simply nodded slightly and turned on her heels to leave. Before she closed the door, she turned to look at me one last time.

 “I know he doesn’t love me. And I know that you weren’t just an occasional fuck. Whenever I was with him and you walked by, I could feel all of his attention shifting to you. And you didn’t even have to try”, Umji confessed, a sad smile playing on her lips. She finally closed the door and left you standing in the waiting room.

“Occasional fuck? Hmm, it looks like my no-closed-bedroom-door rule didn’t help much” Mrs Nakamoto suddenly chuckled humourlessly from her seat. I knew that she was very religious and had truly not wanted me to sleep with Yuta outside of wedlock. I sighed as I walked over to her.

 “I’m so sorry Mrs Nakamoto. We just… we couldn’t help it”, I looked at her apologetically.

“Hormones are a powerful thing I guess”, she smiled at me. “So when did it happen the first time? Where?”

I groaned and buried my head in my hands like I had when she’d caught Yuta and I making out on his bed.

“Oh come on, I’m just curious”, she laughed.

 “This is so weird!” I joined her in her laughter. After a long pause I decided to get it over and done with. “It was about 3 months after you caught is making out in his room… My mother had just found out about my father’s affair with Jessica, she’d packed up her things and left without so much as a goodbye to me. I was distraught and angry. I just wanted to get away from everything so Yuta stole your car, sorry about that, and we drove for hours and hours and just talked. We went to a beach and I cried and cried and we talked some more. After that I felt much better and we decided to head back home. By that time, it was so dark and we were so tired that Yuta decided to take us to your beach house instead, again sorry about that. We watched my favourite film and ate my favourite snacks; I just felt so safe with him. One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together that night”. I smiled at the memory. It was the first time I truly felt like I was in love with Yuta. I think I’d loved him before but that was the first time I really knew.

 “I can’t believe my car and beach house were involved in this”, Mrs Nakamoto joked. I giggled. I wanted to tell her more, it felt good to share.

 “After that night, we started… being intimate quite regularly. But as we grew older, Yuta became more and more influenced by his friends. I could no longer ignore the person he was becoming and it killed me. So, we drifted apart but we still…I don’t know, I guess we still loved each other. So it became more a hate-sex kind of thing even though there were times when he’d come over to my house and find me crying because of a fight I had with my dad. I’d expect him to just leave but he surprised me each time by taking me out for a drive and treating me like he did that day”, I took a deep sigh. It wasn’t until Mrs Nakamoto’s fingers were wiping away my tears that I even realised I was crying.

 “Your mother loved you more than anything in the world. I hope you know that”, Mrs Nakamoto cooed.

 “Then why did she leave without me?” I sobbed.

“Your dad didn’t give her much of a choice…”, Mrs Nakamoto admitted.

“What does that mean?”

 “It’s not my responsibility to tell you. Talk to your dad when you get back, okay. Actually, I’m going to call a car for Ten, you should go with him. I’d really like to be alone”.

“I’ll see you back at the club, okay?” Ten gave me a sleepy smile as the car dropped me off at the beach. I smiled back and nodded, getting out of the vehicle.

It was now 7:30AM and I still hadn’t slept. My mind was too chaotic right now. It took less than 2 minutes for me to find the perfect spot in the sand to sit and watch the waves. I thought about every trip to the beach with Yuta. I thought about every heated encounter we had, both sexual and verbal. I thought about how no matter how much we fought and teased each other; we’d always find our way back in each other’s arms. Most importantly, I thought about how we’d never vocally admitted we were in love.

 “He’s going to be fine, you know”. I looked up to see Taeyong standing next to me. I quickly got up from the ground and tried turning to walk away. Taeyong grabbed my arm. “Wait! Please!”

“What is it, Tae? You want to apologise? Because that’s not going to fix anything. Yes, he’ll be fine but the fact that it even had to escalate to this level is disgusting”, I spat out, pulling my arm out of his grasp.

 “You don’t think I know that?” Taeyong fired back. He frantically ran his fingers through his hair. “Yuta is one of my best friends. But he hurt me. I love Umji so much. Yes, she’s a bit of a bitch sometimes but I love that about her. She’s such a fucking drama queen but I could sit there all day and listen to her talking shit about people I don’t care about…”

“Why are you telling me this?” I suddenly spoke up.

“Because you know what it’s like to ignore all the bad because the good outweighs it. That’s what it was like with Yuta, right? He’s an arrogant dick and he thinks he’s better than most people but you looked over that because you loved him. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to think I did this for the sake of being malicious. I did it for Umji. You were just an easy target because I knew you had feelings for me; I’m sorry”, Taeyong looked at me apologetically.

“You know… I actually broke things off with Yuta because I wanted to be with you”, I laughed at my own stupid confession. “Goodness knows what I saw in you”.

“I’m hot”, Taeyong flashed me his killer smile. A few weeks ago, I would have fallen to his feet at the sight but now I felt nothing. Okay, not nothing, he was still exceptionally attractive.

“Why do I always fall for such conceited idiots?” I joked.

“Knowing you’re attractive doesn’t make you conceited. That’s just a mind-set sold to us by the beauty industry to make us insecure so we buy their crap”, Taeyong stated almost robotically. And it suddenly reminded me of Ten and how he’d warned me that him and Taeyong were extremely alike. “I don’t understand why you gave up on a guy you love for a guy you were kind of crushing on though”.

 “I thought maybe if I moved on, I could forget him. I didn’t want to be in love with him forever. I wanted to be with someone who was always nice to everyone. Not just secretly nice to me. And I didn’t want to just be an occasional fuck”.

“We both know you weren’t an occasional fuck. Yuta talked about you so much without even realising it; ‘Guys, doesn’t Y/N look different today? I think maybe she did something different with her hair… she looks stupid’, ‘Hmm, this candle smells so good. Y/N has one like this… she’s so stupid’, ‘Why was Mingyu flirting with Y/N at lunch today? I thought he was dating someone else… Did you see her giggle? She’s so stupid’” Taeyong’s impression of Yuta coaxed the hardest laugh I’d had in a while. “The guys and I came to the conclusion that calling you stupid was his warped way of saying he loved you”.

 “He’s so stupid”, I mumbled, and it was Taeyong’s turn to let out a laugh.

“I really hope this shitty situation at least brings you two together… properly this time”. I smiled at Tae and found myself wishing this shitty situation would bring him together with Umji.

One year earlier

Yuta quickly put his lacrosse shorts back on while I pulled up my panties. There wasn’t much room to move in the janitor’s closet but we’d made it work.

 “I hope you realise that was the only time I’ll let you fuck me without a condom”, I scolded.

“I know, I said I’m sorry! You think I want a kid right now? I just ran out, okay, but I really needed you before this game”, Yuta rolled his eyes while he helped me fix my hair.

 “You should keep track of all the random girls you sleep with so you can manage your condom supply”, I huffed, “I don’t want kids right now either”.

“I only have sex with you, idiot, we just go through boxes really quickly”, Yuta retorted. I froze as I processed the new information; Yuta only slept with me? He must have felt my suddenly static state because he stopped and looked down at me. “Do you fuck other guys?” His voice was small.

 “No! I’m just surprised because I thought for sure I was one of many. I hear girls talking about all the gifts you give them and so I assumed you were wooing them or something”.

“Okay, first of all, who says ‘wooing’? And second of all, I give girls flowers and sometimes jewellery; it’s no big deal when you have money. Flowers and necklaces are basic gifts; you don’t have to think about them and they’re not really that personal. At least not to me. If I really like a girl, I’d buy her something with significance to our relationship, you know”.

 “If you don’t sleep with these girls, why do you buy them flowers and all that?” I asked.

“My friends don’t know about us and I’d prefer they didn’t find out so I have to keep up appearances and make it look like I’m trying to get laid”, Yuta shrugged.

“You’re ashamed of me?” I gave him a fake pout. Yuta took a step forward and kissed me softly on the cheek.

 “Of course I am. I can’t have people knowing we’re a… thing. I’m awesome and you’re… stupid”, he chuckled. I didn’t take anything personally; we’d both agreed to keep our escapades quiet to avoid drama and complications. “I have to go now. The game starts in 5 minutes and I told Coach I was just going to the bathroom really quickly”.

 “Good luck, jerk”.

“Are you coming?”

 “No, my dad wants me to have a family dinner with him and Jessica”, I gagged, and Yuta looked at me with sad eyes.

“Oh… well, since you can’t come to my game, you owe me. We can go to the beach tomorrow, yeah?” he smiled. He made it sound like I was doing him a favour because I was missing his game but I could tell that he was doing me a favour because he could tell that I was upset at my father who was trying to replace my mother.

“Fine, I guess I owe you that much… Thanks”, I smiled. Yuta leaned down one more time, this time placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

Present day

I’d been back home for three weeks now and the first day back at school was tomorrow. Summer was officially over. After that day at the beach with Taeyong, we’d gone back to the country club where my father had shouted at me for trying to leave without telling him then proceeded to have a driver take me back home. He didn’t even let me check on Yuta before I left. All updates on Yuta’s condition had being given to me via his mother’s phone calls, and Ten, Jaehyun, Taeyong and Xiaojun’s texts. They told me he was fine and that he hadn’t even broken a single bone, although he still had some damage in his right ankle and had to walk around with crutches. I wanted to talk to him but every time I tried to ask his mother while we were on the phone, I’d chicken out.

 “I’ll see him tomorrow at school, Sana!” I groaned as she tried to persuade me to call him, “He still has my number blocked probably so it would be no use”.

 “You’re just making excuses! Call him on a different phone. You can’t ignore a guy who practically jumped off a roof because he was distraught about losing you”, Sana whined over the phone.

“I’m not ignoring him. I just want to give him space… And I’m pretty sure he just fell. What time are you getting here anyway?”

“I’m closer than you think”, Sana chirped. Suddenly the doorbell rang.

“Wow, impressive”, I laughed.

“What is?”

 “That you’re already at the door”, I said as I made my way to the entrance.

 As I pulled open the wooden door, Sana’s voice rang out from the device in my hand, “I’m not at your door…”

I froze in place as I looked at the person staring back at me, mirroring my motionless state. “Yuta…”

“H-hey Y/N”, he stammered, “I was wondering if…” Before he could even finish his sentence, I’d crossed the threshold of my house and thrown myself into him, hugging him tightly. He seemed caught off guard for a second before I felt his arms squeezing around me.

 “You’re okay! You’re okay!” I sobbed into his shirt. I’d been told multiple times that he was fine but seeing him here in front of me felt so unbelievably amazing.

“Yeah, I’m okay”, he laughed into my hair. We stood like that for minutes before we heard an awkward cough from behind us.

 “Sana! You’re here”, I blurted out. Yuta’s arms fell to his side and I took a step back, separating us. Sana looked between Yuta and I, a knowing smile on her face. She silently walked past Yuta and myself, entering my house and shutting the door. I stood outside my closed house and awkwardly looked up at Yuta; he let out a short laugh while quickly faded back into the silence.

The front door suddenly flew open and Sana quickly snapped a picture on her phone. “Say cheese”, she beamed before slamming the door again.

 “Umm, that was… weird. I… I just came here to… to let you know that… I’m not always that dramatic. You know, the whole roof thing. Yeah… I also wanted to apologise for…”

 “I love you”, the words sped out of my mouth before I could stop them. Yuta stared at me; his eyes wide. “I just… I wanted to say it loud just once”.

“You still love me after all this shit”, Yuta chuckled to himself, “Wow…”

 “Yeah, I guess I’m just stupid”, I giggled, embarrassed.

“You’re not stupid”, he smiled, “I love you too”. My heart stopped. I’d always imagined what it would feel like to hear him say those words but truly no fantasy lived up to the real thing.

“I guess we’re both stupid”, I whispered. Yuta closed the gap between us and rested his forehead on mine.

 “If Sana wasn’t here, I would have loved to take you out on a proper date”, he mused. Suddenly, the door flung open yet again and Sana, phone in hand, sped past us and down the driveway.

 “See you at school tomorrow!” she yelled as she disappeared into the distance.

“Your friend is so fucking weird”, Yuta laughed.

“Urgh, don’t even get me started on your friends”. We both chuckled, still holding each other. We had such a long way to go and so many broken things to fix but I loved him and he loved me and hopefully at the end of the road, that would be enough.

[mellybouboulove]

My guardian angel🤍𓆩♡𓆪☁️

Chapter 2

Hi here's chapter 2!

Plot summary: Drug Dealer Ellie Williams X OFC slowburn fic, out of universe and takes place in college, set in the 2000s. Smut content to come.

previous: Chapter 1, next : Chapter 3,

Tags: #wlw #sapphic #drugdealer!ellie #modern!ellie #tlou #slowburn #smut #fluff #tlouau #au #modernau #drugs

Let me know your thoughts on this and enjoy ^_^

---------------

CHAPTER 2

I woke up with the sounds of the machines all working around me. I opened my eyes, blinded by the hospital’s bright light on the ceiling. I felt so confused, I couldn't recall anything of the accident but I knew something bad happened. A doctor entered, gave me a check up and asked me if I remembered my name and what my last memory was. I would have rather lost my mind. He then proceeded to explain what happened last night : I caused a car crash. I felt my heart tighten in my chest, the pictures slowly making their way back to my brain. Emily was severely injured, left unable to walk properly for the next few weeks; she probably won’t be able to play soccer anymore and Jonathan was in a coma. 

Unfortunately, I was luckier than them and only got three broken ribs and a broken arm. The doctor said I should get better in a couple months however, they have to keep me until the end of the week to make sure there’s nothing more than that.

I spent most of the days crying in bed, the guilt eating me alive. I almost killed my two best friends and myself. Thankfully, the medical treatment I was prescribed numbed me enough to make the burden easier to carry. This week felt like it never ended, I couldn't wait to go back home and leave this awful hospital bed. 

The medicines I had to take made me feel better. So much better, that I started to take bigger doses instead of decreasing it as time went by. When the doctor stopped my prescription, I realized I couldn’t continue without the treatment. Without the medicines all I could do was think about that day and the lives I ruined. I was going back to school after a couple weeks of staying home. I tried to stick to the rhythm again but I struggled to focus on anything else. I eavesdropped and heard people talking about a party in an abandoned place tonight; I thought about it for a second and linked the dots: I must be able to find what I need at this party.

As soon as I got home I opened my wardrobe and put on a short tight black dress with ripped thighs. I did my makeup and got ready to leave. I could hear the loud music from down the street; I arrived at the place and had to walk over people’s bodies laying on the floor. Everyone was high and the atmosphere was very odd but all I cared about was my drug.

I saw a bunch of people assembled in a corner and took a look. The plug was just behind that wall. I waited for my turn and walked towards the drug dealer. I was really surprised when I saw Ellie Williams, the girl I met during the Halloween Party. She looked just as surprised as me when she recognized me.

-Maya? I barely recognized you. So this is how you normally dress, huh? I knew Wendy Terrance’s style was not your normal style but… -I don’t really have time to talk, do you have Opiates ? I said cutting her. -Maya you’re shaking you’re ok?  -Just give it to me please, how much is it? -No I’m not giving you anything look at you, I don’t want you to kill yourself.  -Why do you even care ? Aren’t you just looking for new clients at parties ? You have a new client now. -Hey, look at everyone around you here, I know that you’re not a junkie and I don’t want you to become one. You shouldn’t even be here wtf are you doing here anyway?

I didn’t know what to say and avoided eye contact with her the whole time. I realized I started to get crazy and I felt so ashamed that she was witnessing all of this. She was so kind and I was acting like a pathetic drug addict.

-Maya, what's happening? Do you need help?

I felt my throat tightening as I answered. 

-Yes. -Ok, take my keys and wait inside my car. I’m gonna come in a few minutes. 

I took her keys and did what she said. About 10 minutes later, she came and joined me, she turned the car on and drove off. I didn’t say nor asked anything about  where we’re going. After a short while she pulled into a fast food’s  parking lot. We stayed in the car as I began to tell her everything that happened in my life since the last time we talked. She was very caring and reassuring. She proposed to get us some food at the drive. We talked about many random things, I saw that she tried her best to make me think about something else. 

After spending 2 hours talking we were both feeling tired. She drove to my place to drop me off but seeing my street and my house brought me back to reality. I didn’t feel strong enough to face another day without opiates. I knew I would just get crazy in my room. Having her around me made it feel a little easier so I asked her if she wanted to crash at my house tonight and keep me company. I noticed a hesitating look on her face but eventually she accepted. 

We went inside my house, it was such a mess. I tried my best to clean and make things look better but the truth is I haven’t been able to clean for the past week. My life totally went downhill and everything was so dirty but she didn’t seem to care, I guess she’s used to this type of place.

I installed her on the couch, I thanked her, said good night and went to bed. Everytime I fell asleep I was having the same nightmares with flashing memories of the accident and Emily and Jonathan dying. I couldn’t bring myself to sleep. I went to the kitchen to grab a glass of water and saw that Ellie was still wide awake. 

-Are you not tired ? I asked interrupting her from staring at the ceiling -Not really. Aren’t you? -No, I can’t sleep. Wanna watch a movie or something ?  -Sure! She answered with a shy smile, I felt so happy to find an excuse to spend more time with her. -Maybe it’s time for you to watch this classic. I said taking out The Shining from my pile of DVDs. 

She made space for me on the couch next to her and I pressed start. During the movie I felt her arm get behind my shoulder acting like nothing. I was starting to feel sleepy and laid my head on her shoulder as she began to play with my hair. She moved position to make us both lay down on the couch and grabbed the blanket to cover us. I felt safe and finally managed to sleep without nightmares.

------------------- To Be Continued..

[so-bitya]

As someone who likes the character of Elizabeth and well to some extent Cielizzy. I think something people should take into account is that they both don't know each other deeply and only have an idea of ​​what the other is.

I think what happened from Lizzy's "betrayal" to Ciel is important. Because first he makes Ciel deal with the consequences of lying to everyone he knows. Yes he have good reasons to lie but that doesn't mean people will be any less upset with Ciel because He openly LIED to their faces and even more so considering that he used the identity of his "dead" brother.

Lizzy makes sense in feeling hurt and betrayed because first they lied to her face and played with her feelings. But it is necessary because she must finally question why she "loves" Ciel. And what meaning does her indentity and life have next to Ciel (who she really doesn't know at all) I hope Lizzy can finally decide what she wants for herself and not what she expects from her and decides to return to Ciel (or Sirius?) and maybe finally THEY CAN SPEAK THINGS WITH THE TRUTH And well, maybe Lizzy will finally decide BY OWN DECISION to love Ciel/Sirius.🩷 And as for Ciel, I'm not sure how things will be on his side, but maybe he'll finally know and understand Elizabeth, and well, who knows, maybe he'll appreciate Lizzy more. 💙

Although knowing Yana I have the feeling that this could end very badly and painfully 💔But well just my thoughts I love your content of Elizabeth and Ciel 💕hasta aquí mi reporte Joaquín 👍

YES! this is everything I find interesting about them. that Ciel and Lizzy only know an idea of each other. they both hide behind masks and rely on each other for their identity as "Ciel" and "Lizzy". they've both been using each other to play their roles, but that's what makes their bond so strong to me? because that constant devotion, even when it comes to sacrificing themselves, is their sense of love.

And the betrayal!! that's what i don't understand fandom, the betrayal was incredibly well-written! fans just place the burden of the relationship on Lizzy constantly "oh she should've just asked first, how could she not trust him?" um... why would he answer her. why would she ask him?? her not trusting him is what kicked off this arc! how could they ever be honest with each other when this whole time they've been playing pretend!

and that's what im trying to get to here, that Lizzy's just like Ciel. she placed all her pride on being a fiancee, made an identity out of it. "how could Lizzy lie? how could she not trust him?" well just like how Ciel lied! like how Ciel didn't trust her, she's mirroring him! she repaid him for how he lied to her for all 4 years in one fell swoop! people cry about her not communicating, but this was the best way for her to communicate. how it felt for all those years not to matter, the humiliation of being lied to, the betrayal.

and im looking forward to them meeting again and speaking honestly for once. i like how you pointed out, it wont be just Lizzy coming to understand Ciel (the burden still falling on her) but Ciel coming to understand her too! how tragic it'll end up, i cant say for sure, I feel like Kuro kinda lost it's edge (i know, snake and agni, but an even more prominent character needs to die before i change my mind) ...and yana does have a soft spot for Ciel and Lizzy. however it turns out, as long as the characters are giving justice im happy.

anyway thanks for enjoying my writing lol, its kinda all over the place lol, but im planning more bigger posts in the future. i hope you'll enjoy them 🤞🏽💕

[kujousgf]

SPELLBOUND. mdni.

pairings: natasha romanoff x reader

synopsis: natasha can't get you off her mind and she's determined to make you hers

content warnings: slightly suggestive but no actual smut, college/band!au, lead singer!natasha, college student!reader, jealousy

a/n: this may end up being the beginning chapter of a series, but i haven't decided yet !

wc: 1.5k~

'Y/n, Y/n, Y/n' were the only coherent thoughts currently going through Natasha’s head. You'd been the only thing she could think of for, well, she'd lost track of that. She didn't know why, it's not like you'd ever spoken to her for longer than 15 seconds, but even so, your interactions with her felt different. 

At least, they felt different to her. So they must have felt different to you as well. 

You seemed to have a boyfriend, always hanging around some boy named Peter. Natasha cringed, the thought leaving a bad taste in her mouth. Like acid, it almost burned. 

"Nat, come on, hurry up." Kate’s voice brought her back to earth.

Shaking her head, Natasha finished tying up her boots. They, as in her, Kate, Yelena, Wanda and Maria, had a set booked at your university's annual music festival. It seemed like more of a burden to her now, knowing you would be there and not bat a single eyelash at her. It was fine, she thought, she had a sure-fire way to get your attention, she was the lead singer after all. 

She smirked and caught up with the rest of the band, suddenly feeling more confident in herself. Their band called themselves Spellbound. It was Wanda’s idea, of course, being so into witchcraft. And no one else had any better ideas, so Spellbound they became. The band consisted of Natasha as the lead singer, Yelena as the drummer, Kate as the bassist, Maria as the guitarist and Wanda as the other guitarist and vocalist. 

While Natasha wasn't the best at romance, she was sure this new song would catch your attention, especially since she might have made sure you would be in the front row. She knows it's cliche, singing directly to you, but she's not sure how else to get her point across. She’s sure your boyfriend will be there, but at this point, she doesn't care whether or not you're single. It’s bad, she knows, but she wants you. And she knows—hopes —that you want her too. 

"Are you sure this is how you want to get Y/n's attention? this song isn't exactly... the pinnacle of romance, Nat..." Kate speaks up, glancing over at Natasha and making sure she wasn't spacing out again. She’d been doing that a lot lately, thinking of you, no doubt. "Hm? Well, if this isn't romance then what is?" Natasha replies, shoving her hands into her pockets.

"It's about rough sex, Natasha," Kate replies, eyebrow cocked. Natasha clicks her tongue. So what if it was? it would get your attention, wouldn't it? "And you're telling me the way you and Yelena got together is any better? I still can’t even think about that night without wanting to vomit." That shut Kate up. "That's what I thought." Natasha hummed to herself as they walked to the venue. Peter was a problem she'd have to deal with later, assuming he was your boyfriend.

It didn't take long for them to arrive at the venue and set up. Natasha had a little more pep in her step after all. And the girls knew better than to sour Natasha’s mood when she’s like this, their bandmate isn’t usually this happy and they’d rather not have her grumpy for the rest of the day. Rehearsal went by smoothly and before they knew it it was their turn to perform. Natasha wasn't nervous exactly, but she wasn't 100% confident in herself either. You were in the front row and, of course, Peter was there with you. Natasha rolled her shoulders and took a breath before walking out onto the stage.

The stage lights flicked on and Natasha looked out into the sea of people, eyes glancing towards you. Not that you were paying any more attention to the red head than everyone else, but you could’ve sworn she smiled at you in a way that was too quick to catch. But when the first guitar chord was played it was like a switch flipped in Natasha’s head and a wolfish grin spread across her lips before she started to sing. The cheering she received was almost instant.

Got a big plan, this mindset maybe it’s right

At the right place and right time, maybe tonight

And the whisper or handshake sending a sign

Wanna make out and kiss hard, wait never mind

Heat rushes to your cheeks when you realize Natasha is staring directly at you and you immediately avert your eyes, focusing on one of the other girls instead. That must have just been a coincidence, right? Natasha smirks, who said this wasn't romance? 

Late night, and passing, mention it flipped her

Best friend, who knows saying maybe it slipped

But the slip turns to terror and a crush to light

When she walked in, he froze up, believe it’s the fright

But it’s hard to focus on anything besides Natasha, her captivating voice and her piercing green eyes. The way her presence takes up the stage and suddenly you feel light headed just thinking about her. Had you always thought about Natasha this way? You think so, but it was always so hard for you to get a read on her, you’d been more focused on how she was feeling about you than how you felt about her. 

It’s cute in a way, till you cannot speak

And you leave to have a cigarette, your knees get weak

An escape is just a nod and a casual wave

Obsessed about it, heavy for the next two days.

When you finally get the courage to look at her again you make direct eye contact and you can feel the air leave your lungs with the way she’s looking at you. Natasha takes this opportunity to wink at you. You think you might faint.

The rest of the set runs smoothly and Natasha feels more confident than before, enough that she finds herself heading out from backstage to seek you out. It wasn't hard to find you, she just had to find Peter. She rolls her eyes at the thought and makes her way over to you. Peter says something and you giggle, Natasha clenches her jaw. You push Peter and he says one last thing before walking away, laughing. you turn around and your eyes widen a little bit, not expecting to see Natasha right there. 

"Hey!" You try not to sound too excited, but for some reason you just can’t help it, "you guys were really good up there..." you trail off, not too sure what else to say. You'd only spoken to Natasha a handful of times and it wasn't like you hadn't noticed the way she seemed to stare holes into the back of your head or glare at Peter. You had just assumed it was because she had something against you, but now… Now, you also noticed how that song seemed to be about you... and her? 

"You think so? It was our first time performing ‘tear you apart,’ I was a little nervous." Natasha admits, sheepishly rubbing the back of her neck. It was one thing to flirt with you up on a stage while you were out of reach, but this… This was new territory and as much as she hates to admit it, the nervousness she was talking about wasn’t about performing the new song. It was about talking to you. 

"Hey, listen, the girls and I are hosting a bit of an… after party at ours if you'd like to come?" She offered, then she curses internally at what she knows should come next, "Oh, and your boyfriend, Peter, can come too I suppose." She adds, and not even she can convince herself it sounds sincere. 

Your eyebrows furrow at that, “What? Peter’s not my boyfriend.” You’re genuinely confused about where she got that idea. “Oh, I just- you guys are always together. I assumed you were dating...” Natasha does her best to sound as if this new information isn’t exactly what she wanted to hear. 

“So, what do you think about coming to the party?” Natasha tries again. "Oh, yes, I’d love to! I'll get Peter to drive us over.” You smile and Natasha feels her tummy flutter, new territory indeed, but she doesn’t hate it. “I'll give you my number and you can text me the address?" You suggest, glancing around, wondering where Peter even went. He was an essential part of you getting home after all. Though you wish you had an excuse to ask if you could just tag along with Natasha. 

"Of course, it's not too far from here." Natasha hands you her phone and you type in your number before handing it back to her. "Perfect. I’ll see you later, princess." Natasha smiles, noting the flustered look on your face before turning and walking away. She smirks to herself as she walks back to his group of friends. She laughs, and Kate said it wouldn't work.

I want to hold you close

Soft breasts, beating heart

As I whisper in your ear

I want to fucking tear you apart

[exols-silver-christmas]

EXOL SECRET SANTA 2024

How To Participate

Welcome to this year's Secret Santa!

I hope this year so far has seen everyone safe happy and healthy. With only a few months left in the year the time has rolled around again for our fandom gift exchange! Once again sign ups will start in August to allow time for gifts to be created. For more information on the timeline and important dates please refer to this post HERE.

There are a few guidelines and reminders I'd appreciate if you read before clicking the link to the sign up page.

All skill levels are welcome! All we ask is you try your best when creating your gift and that giftees remember that not all Santas will have the same skill level. Everyone has to start somewhere and it's truly the thought that counts!

Please check the important dates post and keep in mind that the check ins are not meant to pressure anybody but to ensure that every participant receives a gift of some sort. During the final check in however you will be asked for a screenshot of the post draft. If you are unable to provide one then it will be assumed that your gift is not finished and a back up Santa will be arranged for your giftee.

If you have not completed your gift by the designated date you are more than welcome to still post it once it's finished, we will still reblog gift posts after the exchange weekend.

Remember, the festivities are about sharing and fostering new (or old as the case may be) friendships. Take the time to spread some holiday cheer and get to know your giftee. You might make a new friend in the fandom!

Now for the pesky stuff:

Due to issues that arose in previous years, following this blog is required for participation. You must have a tumblr blog in order to participate. You will be asked during the sign in process to open a DM conversation with this blog. This is so you can be contacted for check ins and posting co-ordination.

Santas it is highly encouraged, though not required, to message your giftee throughout the next few months, both as a way to get to know your fellow exol and as a way to learn what they might like for a gift. On the off chance you need help with ideas, part of the form will include a prompt, but we do ask you make an effort first. The dates for requesting your giftees prompt will be posted on the important dates.

Anon function MUST be turned on as well as Asks, to allow the Secret Santa to remain Secret.

Gift Posts must be in your drafts and ready to post by the deadline. This is to allow our back-up Santas time to make a gift if needed. Inability to provide a screenshot will be taken as the gift isn't completed and a backup Santa will be contacted. As stated above you will be more than welcome to post on the gift exchange weekend or later if you wish to, we just want to avoid giftees getting that niggling little disappointment when others receive a gift and they didn't.

We also require that you use the organizational tag #exolss24 within the first 5 tags.

Read the Important Dates post

All gifts MUST be NEW CONTENT and meet the minimum requirements.

We ask that all gifts meant for minors be kept SFW. You will be informed your giftees stated age at the time of receiving your giftee blog name.

Minimum requirements for gifts are as follows:

Edits: 4+ small png or 2+ large png

Fanart: 1+

Fanfiction of anysort: 1k+ words

Fanvideo: 35 seconds+

Gif sets: 4+ gifs

Headers/lcons/Lockscreens: 4+ in any combination

Moodboards: 3 boards

You are of course more than welcome to go above and beyond the minimum requirements but that is solely dependent on your personal inclination and time availability. This is meant to be fun and a way to interact with each other and not a burden.

Finished with all that boring reading? Why not take a moment and reblog this so your followers have the chance to sign up as well!