#Why the fuck did I have to have a big ol' gay crush on the most detailed character in the game? Tattoos horns tail scars ridges and abs.

[shadowkira]

I'm so glad I scooted my way away from my coworker to prop my leg up... Because I left my other piece open on my tablet and it is NOT safe for work.

[lanatusnebula]

Megaman Ships

Don't read this if you're expecting me to mention Classic or Starforce at all.

My ships... I have art stashed but it's really weird. The environment of the internet has shifted drastically over the years, and I think some people take things too seriously. But... I ship things. I'm not trying to make a big deal about it, just want to gush about the stuff I like. :) (and don't like)

The X series

I really love the X series to bits! I actually don't ship any of the characters here. I think they're all precious in their own way, though. X and Zero, as a kid, I never really shipped.

But I guess things change over time.

Some people make some wondrous content showing how close the two could actually be. It's endearing...

I don't like Iris's writing or how some people insist she's The One To Ship With Zero. Even if it's suggested like... in minute ways, I just... dunno. It feels like the devs wanted people to ship X and Zero but it was too GAY so they made a female X and said "have at it." Which... is so weird? Everything Zero could've liked about Iris, we see X exhibit those exact traits, AND MORE. It could be the "Zero just might be a heterosexual so he isn't into X", but I mean, if Dmmd taught me anything, it's that seeking out female versions of the guy you're totally not into doesn't work out.

Alia is a cool character! Reducing her to simply X's flat and 2D love interest was... depressing. I loved how she had a kill streak in x6! It made her super interesting. Idk what happened in... was it x8? Like, get that game away from me.

Axl is a cutie pie but he's more husbando material than he is shipping material for me. He just wants to sit at the cool kid's table and managed to nab a seat...

I dunno.

Layer is hot tho ha

aha

haha

-

The Zero series

I lost my fucking mind with this series. I went from "I don't ship robots in this cool game" to just mix and matching everyone in every which-way.

Some weirdo freaks got me into shipping Omega Zero with Copy X. Do not ask how that is logical or what could possibly be their dynamic. I just like the aesthetic. It makes no sense. They didn't coexist in the same room. Ever.

Ciel x Fefnir is like my guilty ship. Most of my AUs seem to naturally form some sort of organic bond between them subconsciously. Fefnir, though a hot head, seems like the kind of guy who's a good sport. I like the idea of little ol' Ciel crushing on the football player lookin guy, and he thinks that she's adorable in her own right. You know - X's whole inherent love of humans or whatever I probably made up. That's my justification.

I obviously ship Harpuia and Zero.

Where some people find cyberelf X and Zero to be top shelf, I raise the offer "yes but he can actually touch Harpuia without absorbing him like every other cyberelf". (I will admit I love shipping Cyberelf X with Zero in that very strange maternal-esque "I will embrace your corpse so that you may rest forever" edgelord shit. I snort it daily don't worry.)

Harpuia rescuing Zero for no Fucking Reason in z2 fucked me up. Why'd you do that? What'd you do that for? You picked him up and rode on your shitty little bird to drop him off at the correct address, so you even knew where Ciel and friends were staying? Right after Zero off'd your beloved X? Yeah? You did that why? (I know it's probably related to that whole chapter where Harpuia is nearly a better ruler than Copy X and just makes all the right choices in contrast to his previous ruler blah blah blah) But what if it's because he has programmed into him the same unbreakable love for Zero (platonically) that X had? We know that the guardians get some sort of weird high when fighting Zero so... why not further fuck up that interpretation of X and Zero's relationship?

I really like portraying Harpuia as being the only one who didn't completely cave in and go bonkers from battling Zero. He just sort of kept it inside. Poorly. And it comes out in small amounts via weird actions. Leviathan I portray mostly as a kid with a magnifying glass over some ants, Fefnir as the kinda guy to just be an adrenaline junkie, and Phantom thought it was a flaw in his programming so he blew up.

Cyberelf X and Copy X is GOOD SHIT MM THAT'S SOME GOOD SHIT 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

My only justification of it is either Cyberelf X hates his guts or is Copy X's only friend. And Copy X's emotions are already fucked up like every other inch of his programming.

Ciel and Copy X though I ship them in a familial sense. He's obsessed with protecting her and Ciel is like "I made him! :)" I've got some pics lying around (they're gone) of Ciel reading ancient books to Copy X while he lays in her bed at night. She says it's to help him sleep, but since that isn't How Reploids Work, he's really there to pretend to fall asleep when he notices Ciel is about to. Then when she passes out he stares at her all night, stroking her hair. Like a freak. But please, it's not romantic; I do not want it to be at all. I just want him to be weird.

-

ZX series.

Get your tomatoes ready. I'm finna make an ass outta myself. ;(

OG Prometheus and Aile is a new ship. I can't... explain this one? I don't know.

The AU I'm writing has Grey retreive the original body plans for Prometheus and Pandora from the lab he was made in, near end game before Prometheus and Pandora bite the bucket. Presuming that Flueve and friends aboard the Guardian can make bodies themselves (fuck you I don't think Ciel was making new bodies for everyone solo), Grey asks Aile if they can give Pandora and Prometheus a second chance, since they're likely controlled by Model W. She says "what are you smoking". I just like Grey to be selfless in the dumbest ways imaginable.

Pandora and Prometheus dies. I think it is stupid that they get left behind, so I imagine that he used model F megaman form thing to drag them out (like how Aile should've done herself in the first game) flops their corpses at Aile's doorstep and is like "I got the EC to pay for this." And shenanigans happen. They rebuild their old bodies, do some wacky techno shit with their DNA and put it in the new bodies akin to how reploids age in canon (assumption). Prometheus and Pandora wake up as normal ass people.

But they're also lowkey enlsaved by the Guardians because like uhh um uhh ummm "you owe us. but forever" and they're ok with this and something about duplicating model w don't ask It's fucking stupid I'm insecure about it but they can megamerge into their old forms but aren't allowed to go ape shit and prometheus and aile become sorta close in that antagonizing way because she has to watch him closely while pandora hangs out with grey like a little brother and it's all warm and fuzzy and they have no problems (i stole the idea from the stupid japanese site's weird little roleplay things) that's her little buddy you know and don't worry about it i just ship aile and prometheus

My Girouette ships are off limits. I'd be sentenced to death.

I ship Siarnaq and Grey because my AI roleplay partner shoved it onto me with rose prose and I was like "... you know what? this will work". My ship count is being dominated by the sheer number of AUs and oneshots I've written about those two. Ask and I will divulge

some

of them. But otherwise I'm mmgngngjghgngmgnggnmgngm Really Grey being an unaging kid complicates things. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a life span, and I do not subscribe to the "reploids naturally grow" head canon because it's pretty stupid to think technology got that far when it was stated in-game that it isn't. that's like Legends shit.

I ship Thetis one-sided with Aile because it's Extremely Funny. No other reason.

-

Legends series

I don't really ship anything I just think everyone is precious and adorable. I Guess I like the dynamic between Tronn Bonne and Volnuttsack. It's neat. I don't think about it beyond seeing it on the screen though.

-

Exe Series

Uh. Hm.

I just really like Megaman.exe himself. I don't ship anyone consciously...???? I think I just admire them all from afa-

No

I ship Zero.exe with Zero.

I ship it really bad.

[jacqcrisis]

This has been on my mind for months, I have to know please?

Does Caleb ever try it with a dude other than Zeke?

At the beginning I would've bet that he will have a phase where he mistakes his attraction to Zeke for just a passing curiosity for cock and try it with a random dude to, you know, "get it out of his system". Also, you have hinted so many times his gym buddies might having a thing for him, I wonder if he ever had / will ever have a drink too many at a party and hook up with one of them?

(feel free to ignore if the answer would be too much of a spoiler)

Okay, I've waited forever to answer this, thank you for your patience but it's finally relevant. Literally had this in my drafts for months and the reason is that it was supposed to be a bigger thing. So, spoilers from here on out if you haven't read chapter 17 I guess.

The plan from the beginning was that in this most recent chapter, we were going to go into detail on Caleb finally hooking up with random dudes who aren't Zeke. Initially, he deems experimenting with Zeke as safe in the fact that Zeke is so unconnected from his primary social circle that his toe dip into men would never get out to anyone who matters, so he hooks up with Zeke to satisfy that curiosity. And then by the time Caleb could've fucked other dudes, there wasn't much of a point. He likes Zeke, he likes sleeping with Zeke, and Zeke never turns him down (and he's got a big old crush on him, despite not admitting that), so why sleep with anyone else when the guy is right here and available to rock his shit whenever he wants?

Well, now sleeping with Zeke has caused a big ole problem, so we gotta stop that, but he still wants to sleep with men. Since he's finally in a place where he feels secure enough in his bisexuality and desperate enough to sleep with someone who isn't deemed as 'safe' that was going to be a thing we explored. There was going to be a whole ass half of a chapter where he and Viktor talk about their various foibles, Viktor reveals he's gay and he's a lot more resigned to the very thing that's giving Caleb all this trouble having already found a woman to marry, and Caleb was going to come out to him about be bi and then they were going to hook up.

But, I couldn't get it to work. The amount of time spent on that specifically felt unnecessary so now it's just a short opener and a few sentences later about how he did sleep with three random dudes and his friend. And I was going to initially wait till the chapter was out to answer this with a silly 'tee hee hee' since there was most of a chapter dedicated to its very premise literally what should have been a month away from when I received it yet here I stand, months later, a whole farm's worth of egg on my face.

So I want to apologize for how long I sat on this and also thank you for the ask!

[hermioneismyrealname]

Tomorrow (20221215) I have day one of my finals. It's maths.

Mood? Sleepy. Haven't slept in 2 days.

Reason? The last 6 hours I got, I woke up from a dream clawing at my arm and neck because I thought I was 8 again and what happened to me was happening again. SO SLEEP CAN GO FUCK ITSELF!

But after 11 am tomorrow, I will chugg 750ml of black coffee and sleep for 12 hours and start the marathon for biology (20221219), physics (20221221) and chemistry (20221222). Coffee stops me from dreaming.

Preparation? Maths can go to hell.

I've studied and I'm gonna study some more but once the paper is in front of me, the war begins against my brain as I try and pry the knowledge out from the anxiety filled trenches of my frontal lobe.

My body? My chest hurts like fuck.

I keep forgetting to breathe while I'm studying I don't know why. Also doesnt help that my glasses broke and I can't see shit so I'm hunched over my desk like a prawn and have my legs folded cause I'm gay af and can't sit on a chair straight by law.

Emotions? Currently numb.

I know this is going to change when I sit down in the exam hall. I'm just mentally drained. My sources of dopamine that I allow myself is this hellsite (affectionate), some one-shot fluff fics, writing drabbles and learning languages.

My goal? Do my best.

Imma be honest. I feel OK about what I know and I know I can do it, it's just my brain being an ass about it. That sack of flesh tells me to break my ankles for the heck of it, why should I listen to it?

Outcome? To feel proud enough so I don't feel guilty.

I feel guilty a lot. Survivors guilt and mommy issues. I overwork to overachive. I lay down on my bed and feel guilty i havent done enough when i just finished a 6 hour study session. Do more, my brain yells at me. So if I can come out of this like I did what I could, feeling less guilty, I'll be happy.

What do I want to do for the holidays?

Exam first and then think about holidays. But

I want to watch

Between Us (2022) ep 6 and 7

My 12 percent

Not me

Romantic Killer

Blood C

I spit on your grave

Goblin

Maybe rewatch Banana Fish

Space balls

I want to write

My drabbles

That Vegaspete fanfic I've been planning for a while now

That Sapphic story skeleton (idea struck me and I want to post it to *gags**barf**spits* wattpad

Begin copywriting because I'm a broke college student

I want to read

A curse so Dark and Lonely

And like the cycle of the year, we begin again (because it's my Christmas tradition)

Art of war

Maybe the wicked king, idk

I want to play

Minecraft

Potion craft: alchemy simulator

I want to learn languages

Japanese

Thai

Russian

Korean

Welsh

Latin

I want to random research

Anything

And then fritz case

I want to sleep.

I want to practice my forms in self defense. (Im probably shit by now)

I want to go rock climbing.

I want to go for a walk.

I want to talk to my friends and my crush that I've been ignoring for my exams, but like face to face, and give them a big ol hug even though I give really awkward hugs.

I want to eat broccoli and bread.

Didn't I mention sleep?

[angelthebedsheet]

“We’re inside.”

a miles morales x reader!!!

x male! reader

a/n: MY BABY!!! i love hims!!! he makes me so mf HAPPY dude istg! here’s this oneshot bc i cant get enough of him! quite literally have a mega little crush on him

contains boy x boy miles’ awkward ass, whole lotta gang gay shit, use of n-slur, reader’s lwk a smug lil bitch, kissing, cussin and a lil spanish? miles’ parents being mega miles x m/n fans

F L U F F

m/n means male name!

lets get into yall!

—————————————————————————

The two boys sat in Miles’ room in a comfortable silence. That is unless you count Sunflower softly playing in the background I guess. Miles had been trying to confess how he felt towards M/N but always bitched backed out last minute. He occasionally glanced from his sketchbook to the boy sitting in his office chair. He felt his hands get sweaty as he watched M/N subconsciously chewed on his straw as he scrolled on his phone.

He admired how his locks were pulled back into a ponytail, showing his jawline. Miles’ felt his coffee coloured cheeks heat up as M/N glanced up at him from his phone. He quickly looked back at his sketchbook, pretending he was looking at it the whole time. M/N snorted. “Yo, you good, pretty boy?” He asked. “What? Psssh, yeah. I’m good. Just vibin’ y’know? Thinkin’ bout what colour I should use next.” Miles said as he waved him off, hoping his pathetic attempt at saving himself even though he felt his heart race from the nickname. He felt a sweat bead form on his forehead as M/N cocked his eyebrow. He smirked. ‘Don’t do that. Why would he do that? Why is he smirking? God, that’s hot. Fuck. I’m a disaster.’ Miles thought as he grabbed a marker. “Thinkin’ while lookin’ at my face? Cap.” M/N said as he sipped on his smoothie. “N-No it’s not! I was just in a daze while thinking okay?! I totally wasn’t staring at you. That’s gay, man.” Miles stuttered, making M/N start laughing. “Dude you‘re literally bi with a preference for dudes 70% of the time, what the fuck?” He chuckled. Miles groaned and threw a marker at him. M/N tilted his head to the side, dodging the marker. Miles huffed and looked back down at his sketchbook.

“You’re a piece of shit.” He grumbled. “But you love this piece of shit, homie.” M/N teased, earning another groan from him before relaxing his face into a soft smile. He reached over to nudge Miles’ leg. “No but like you aight, niño bonito? You know you can always talk to me. I’m here for ya. Even with your spider shit goin’ on.” M/N said. Miles felt the flutter that occurred in his stomach at the spanish substitute. “Yeah... I’m. I’m good. Just Spider-Man jitters, y’know?” Miles mumbled as he rubbed the back of his neck. M/N stared at him before humming. “No I don’t know. Not everyone wears a cool ass spandex suit and swings around the damn city with webs, saving people ‘nd shit.” He commented before picking up his phone again. Miles huffed out a chuckle. M/N bit his straw with a smile as he scrolled down his phone.

‘I’m gonna do it.’ Miles thought as he collected himself. He wiped his sweaty hands off on his jeans. “Hey, M/N?” He called out. M/N hummed as he looked up at him. “I’ve been wanting to say this but.... I loooo–”He trailed off as he started to think. ‘What if he doesn’t like me? What if he has a crush on another person? I can’t afford to ruin our friendship.’ He thought. “–iiike how the sky looks right now. Isn’t so pretty?” Miles asked, done with himself. M/N deadpanned at him. “We’re inside, my nigga. Fuck you mean you like how the sky looks? The curtain’s deadass closed too.” M/N said as he made an unimpressed expression. “Oh-uhm-I. Ah, j-just forget it.” Miles groaned. M/N rolled his eyes before smiling. “Was that another poor attempt at you trying to confess to me, Morales?” He asked. Miles’ eyes widened. “You-You noticed?!” He exclaimed as he sat up.

M/N nodded with a smile. “And you never said anything?! M/N!” He whined. “Hey, you’re a big boy. I didn’t think Spidey was so scared to confess to lil’ ol’ me.” He teased. Miles glared at him. “But, I like you too, Morales.” He said softly. Miles swang his legs off his bed and shot a web at his chair. He tugged on his web, pulling M/N in the chair to him. “Say it again.” He said.

“I like you, Miles.”

“Again.”

“I like you.”

“One more time for me?”

“Oh my god. Miles Morales, I like you too!” M/N groaned. Miles smiled widely as he wrapped his arms around his neck. “Can I?” He asked as he looked down at M/N’s plump lips. “Fuckin kiss m—mmhfp!” He was cut off by Miles smashing his lips onto his. He wrapped his arms around his waist. “You. Don’t. Know. How. Long. I’ve. Waited. To. Hear. That.” Miles said between pecks. M/N chuckled as Miles continued pressing kisses onto his lips. He stood up, pushing the chair back. He leaned forward, kissing him deeper. Miles smiled into the kiss and pulled him down. They fell back on the bed, never pulling away from their liplock. It felt like the world around them sizzled away only leaving them.

Unfortunately, they didn’t hear the knock on the door and it open. “Miles, M/N, do you boys want some sn— AHA! CAUGHT THEM! MI AMOR, I TOLD YOU! YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS!” Rio exclaimed while holding a bowl of grapes, causing Miles to push M/N off. “M-Mrs. Morales!” M/N stuttered. “Mama no!” Miles exclaimed as he shot up. The two boys’ faces heated up as they looked at Rio. “It happened?! Damnit!” Jefferson exclaimed from down the hall. “You made a bet on us?” M/N questioned with a hot face. “Dios mio...” Miles mumbled under his breath. “Sorry honey, we had to. We were tired of the whining Mil—” Miles cut her off. “OOOKAYYYY MAMA! That’s enough for now, thank you for the fruit! Okay now bye!” Miles exclaimed as he set the bowl on his desk and pushed her out.

“Have fun but not too much fun!” She called out before he slammed the door embarrassed. “Oh my god, I can’t believe they did that. My mom just caught us making out oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god we were just making out, holy shit.” Miles exclaimed. “Fuck that killed the mood didn’t it?” He said as he looked at M/N. “Yeah.” He said, making Miles’ shoulders slump. “But bold of you to assume we can’t fix that. C’mere pretty boy, I’ve been deprived of this for too long. Not even Doc Ock could stop me from kissing the shit outta you.” He said as he made a ‘come hither’ sign. Miles giggled and ran over to him. M/N pulled him down and hovered over him. “That was ho—” M/N kissed him and pulled away. “Nuff talkin’ more kissin’. Got that, Morales?” M/N said. “Got it, bebé!” He exclaimed before energetically pulling him down by his collar to connect their lips once more.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

Wait, Kohga's got a thing for Daruk? Can I request/lovingly demand to see that? Or you know what, Kohga and any other Goron? Because I would PAY to see Kohga trying to take Goron dick and being like "... I may be in over my head here" 😂

One, Kohga ABSOLUTELY has a thing for Daruk. Big body, LOTS of pretty hair, and does more or less whatever he’s told. Granted I have no clue how much they’d have in common, but it’s smut, so here we go. Two, don’t you underestimate how much dick this man can take. Old Yiga techniques in this bitch.

“You know what, I can KINDA see where you’re coming from with this!”

“RIGHT?!”

Kohga and Daruk had decided to spend time together, upon Mipha’s instance (she was all about that sort of ‘unity’ and shit), and the ONE thing they could bond over? Food. It was why they were by a nearby stable, throwing stuff into a cooking pot. Turns out Daruk was a DAMN good cook, and with their combined ingredients, they were eating their fat asses off. Right now they were eating poultry pilaf, topped with goron spice, AND sliced bananas. Daruk wasn’t for it at the start, but he was now all about it, tucking into his bowl happily. Daruk damn near licked the bowl, nodding in content.

“I didn’t think bananas worked. I’ve had them with apples, but bananas? Somehow works.”

“Bananas go well with EVERYTHING. Add that with the goron spice, AND the way you cook that chicken? Beautiful. Nice skin by the way, crunchy.”

“Prime rock roasts are crunchier, but I don’t exactly think you can eat that.”

“I’ve THOUGHT about it, Link makes it look good.”

They both had a chuckle at that. They liked Link, and his insatiable hunger was one of those factors. Daruk looked through his ingredients, rubbing his chin for a second.

“How about...ooh, mushroom saute?”

“Only if you have Hylian mushrooms.”

“I got sunshrooms, but those are better.”

“Not for mushroom saute!”

Daruk shot him a look as if he was crazy.

“Okay, explain it to me, because sunshrooms are the best mushrooms.”

“Hylian mushrooms absorb the spices better. Sunshrooms are full of heat as is, it’s overkill.”

“Alright, let’s test it, powder puff.”

Kohga handed him the mushrooms, but not before raising a brow.

“I’m sorry, 'powder puff'?”

“Yeah, the hair. It’s like those little makeup puff things.”

“I’m OFFENDED! This is a traditional yiga hairstyle!”

“Is that why EVERYONE has their hair up like that?”

“Look,not everyone can have fucking lynel maned hair like you, don’t rub it in.”

Daruk laughed at that, rubbing the back of his head.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I was just pokin’ fun. Didn’t know people actually liked my hair that much.”

“Course everyone does! Look at this shit!”

Kohga dug his hand in his hair, helping it get only messier. God how pretty, all that hair was. What Kohga would give to pull it. Daruk laughed, cheeks getting rosey as he was getting flustered. Honestly, it was easy to charm Daruk.

“Aw, Kohga, thanks! Really, nice of ya. I’m glad Mipha made us spend time together. I’m not gonna lie, I wasn’t sure how to feel about you when you first joined.”

Kohga shrugged, helping Daruk mix the food, mainly to check if it was done.

“I mean I can’t totally blame you, I DID try to kill you guys. Multiple times.”

“AND get Sooga to kill us a few times. Speaking of, where is the guy? Thought he was always glued to you?”

“Eh, I made him spend some time with Teba. Figured YOU were strong enough to protect little ol’ me.”

“Course I can! Ain’t nothin’ happening to you, even if there WAS something to be scared of!”

Daruk patted his head, and Kohga could swoon. Kohga, ever since he was a young man, had a thing for the big, strong Gorons. Hell, one of his first crushes was a Goron traveller (god did he LAY the flirts on that poor guy). Daruk served them their own bowls of the different sautees, and Daruk nodded thoughtfully.

“You know what, you’re right, actually. Huh, I always thought nothing could taste better than sunshrooms.”

Kohga nodded, swapping bowls with him for a minute.

“I mean the sunshrooms aren’t bad, not dissing your tastes. You like flavors as big as you, can’t say I blame you. Better than Sooga’s cooking anyway.”

Daruk laughed again, smacking his knee.

“Oh he can’t be THAT bad!”

“He doesn’t even LIKE Goron spice! I like the guy, a lot, but he needs to learn how to actually cook. Speaking of, how did YOU learn how to cook?”

“All Goron’s like to teach one another how to cook. I learned from a bunch of Gorons. You?”

“My mother. She was a great cook, taught me everything I know. She loved Goron spice too, always put it on meat. Especially during the holidays. Loved that woman.”

Kohga finished his bowl, about to decide just what they should eat next, when he felt something drop onto his head. He held his hand out, and felt it again. Rain. It then started to sprinkle, and in a manner of seconds, started to pour. They both scurried on inside (with Daruk being a gentleman and using his arm to protect Kohga), and Kohga went to the stablehand at the counter.

“Can we get a room for the night?”

Daruk, lost in his mess of wet hair, shook his head.

“I don’t mind sitting out with everyone, really-”

“I’m not asking. We need a room for this big guy, the biggest one you got.”

Daruk clearly had complaints about Kohga paying, but he wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise. Kohga helped him to his room, and right after getting him to bed, Kohga grabbed a towel, and smacked it on his face, trying to try his hair. Daruk chuckled, clearly not used to someone fussing over him like this.

“Hey, what’s your deal? It’s just some rain!”

“Sooga’s not here, ergo I’m your problem big guy. Now hold still, you’re almost dry.”

Daruk chuckled, sitting still as Kohga got the water out of his hair. Most of it anyway, he was mainly concerned of Daruk being able to see.

“I think I know why Mipha talks so much about you. You’re nice.”

“Hey. Hey. Don’t make me sound all sugar and sweet, rock man. Mipha likes everyone.”

Kohga was being a bit aggressive with the towel, mainly in hopes of getting him to shut the hell up.

“Not like you. She talks about you and Link a LOT. It’s kinda why I agreed to hang out with you, because you mean a lot to her.”

“Bah, it’s just because I set her up with Link.”

“You just don’t wanna admit you’re good.”

Kohga lifted his towel from Daruk’s face, seeing that big, stupid, grinning face of his. He was way different from Sooga, plenty expressive, ALWAYS smiling and chuckling. Not to mention he had the GALL to be so snarky with him.

“God bless your future wife, she needs the patience of a saint to deal with you. Lucky the face saves it.”

Kohga threw the towel at him, choosing to sit next to him and pout. He damn near fell off the bed as Daruk ‘patted’ him on his back.

“I know you meant that as an insult, but that’s super sweet.”

“How?”

Kohga groaned, rubbing his shoulder as the ache reached the rest of his body. Daruk shrugged, cleaning the rest of the rain water off of him.

“You said ‘bless your future wife’. Dunno if I’ll ever have one, but that’s super sweet. You try to be a big, scary guy, but you’re super sweet.”

“You’re lucky you’re not Sooga, HE gets slapped for calling me sweet. But yeah, you’ll have one. You’re tolerable. Something about the way you said that though...thinking about someone?”

Kohga was suddenly in his lap, on his back, looking right up at Daruk. Daruk grinned, giving a shake of his head.

“I mean...can you keep a secret?”

“Course, course! Unless you include my diary. I tell my diary everything.”

“Fair enough. Uh, yeah. Urbosa. I REALLY like Urbosa.”

“URBOSA? Really?”

Daruk nodded, digging into his ear in hopes of getting water out of it.

“Yeah. She’s super strong, she’s smart, she’s fearless, we’ve known each other for a LONG time.”

“So what’s stopping you? You two fight well together, I’d say that’s just as good of a date.”

Daruk shrugged, lifting his arm up to even dry his armpits. Not that Kohga was looking.

“I dunno. Feel like she’d be interested in some other guy. Feels like she’d like someone like Kass. You know, romantic like. I dunno the first thing about girls, much less a woman like her.”

“What is there to know? Women just like a guy who tries.”

“...really?”

“I actually don’t know, I’m gay as shit.”

Daruk sighed a bit, actually feeling a twinge of hope for a second. He seemed to have finished with the towel, wiping his hands, mainly as a means to do something with his sudden bout of nervous energy.

“I dunno. I guess it’s not something that’s gonna happen. Which is fine, I appreciate just knowing her. She deserved better anyway, what’s she want from someone who can’t woo her?”

Kohga shouldn’t be thinking what he was thinking. But Daruk was so vulnerable. So easily persuaded. Big, cute, eager to know how to love. Not to mention being locked in a room with him, all alone. A nice prey for a predator like himself. He sat up, trying not to grin too much.

“I can teach you.”

“What?”

Daruk clearly was confused. But that’s exactly what Kohga was hoping for.

“I’m not like Urbosa, but I know her VERY well. We’ve been fighting for a long, long time, you get to know someone pretty damn well. So, why don’t you try some stuff on me?”

“Uh…”

“What? Don’t do dudes?”

“No, it’s not that, I’ve been with guys before. It’s just...didn’t expect this, I guess?”

“That’s what love is! Spontaneous stuff! Full of surprises! I’m gay, but I know that’s ONE thing girls love. Plus, when has Urbosa ever shied away from any inconvenience, including in the battlefield?”

Daruk thought about it, and as Kohga suspected, it worked. He rubbed his head for a second, before nodding.

“I mean...kinda makes sense, actually.”

Kohga held onto his face, giving it a light squish.

“Of course I make sense! I’m THE Master Kohga! I’ll even be a nice guy and help you get started.”

Daruk seemed surprised by the way Kohga pushed him flat on his back (the power of cock made Kohga a VERY strong man), and crawled down to...whatever the hell it is that Gorons wore. Kohga always called it a thong, but he was pretty sure that wasn’t the official name for the garment. Either way, he pulled it away, and nearly choked on air. Holy. Fucking. Shit. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting, but it sure as shit wasn’t this goddamn lynel crusher of a dick. It was huge, scaley (Gorons were more or less rock creatures with some parts of lizards), and as Kohga cupped it in his palm, he realized it wasn’t even hard. It was this big, as it was SOFT. The rather coarse texture was because of big, thick scales it was covered in. Daruk sat there for a moment, clearly confused as to why Kohga was just sitting there, gawking at him like that.

“I uh...you okay-”

“I’m JUST now figuring out you’re hung like a Lynel, I’m VERY okay.”

Don’t get Kohga wrong, this guy was a goddamn BEAST, but Kohga liked a big, thick challenge. Daruk was about to speak, clearly about to tell him he could call this off, but then he felt Kohga’s hand slide down his girth. Now that he actually touched it like this, he realized it wasn’t exactly rough as he thought, as it seemed to bend with a firm hold. Good, so it wouldn’t be like fucking a giant pinecone, but rather a cock with thick ridges. Yeah, he could work with this. Daruk chuckled, combing his hands through his messy hair.

“You uh...done this before, I take it?”

“Not with a Goron, but definitely done it before. Sneaking guys into stable rooms and getting my fill is...a hobby of mine, guess you could say. You’re not used to this though, you’re really liking how I’m holding you.”

“You have REALLY soft hands.”

“Funny, been told that a lot.”

Kohga chuckled. It was nice, getting to feel something bigger than his entire arm in his hand. The way it seemed to radiate heat, the way the flesh started to get harder as his hand roamed up nice and down. Kohga’s hand roamed, trying to find just what he liked, when he noticed just the spot close to the head. It made Daruk grunt a bit, and from a Goron, that was just as good as a moan.

“You’re REALLY good at finding that spot, Kohga.”

“Thank you. It helps that you aren’t fighting me on this.”

“Why would I? We both agreed to this, and this is...for Urbosa, right?”

“For who?”

“Urbosa.”

“Ah, right right right. Yes, totally for her.”

Daruk opened his mouth to ask of his true intentions, when he realized that wasn't very important, given the fact that Kohga's mouth wrapped itself around the head. Kohga’s soft lips never failed to make any cock feel good, and Daruk's was no exception. Kohga knew he couldn't swallow the whole thing (least not without some practice), but that didn't mean anything when you sucked as good as he did. He took a decent amount of him, and he felt Daruk get into it, so far as to put his hand on his head, gently prompting to take him further. If Kohga couldn’t breathe, he could stay down here all damn day. Unfortunately, air was a thing, so he had to pull away, softly gasping as drool still connected his mouth to his cock. Daruk lightly poked him in the shoulder.

"Sorry, I push too hard?"

Kohga shook his head, grinning as he used his hand to spread his spit along his cock.

"No, not at all. You're a big guy Daruk, but don't treat me so delicately. I can handle you, in the battlefield, and in the bedroom."

"Please don't tell me that means you're gonna take me without lube."

"Oh dear god no. I'm brave, but that'd be a suicide mission."

Kohga sat up, and dug into his inventory, pulling out a bottle of lube. Daruk gestured to it as he tried to catch his breath. Poor Daruk was holding himself pretty well up until now. Big, strong man he was. He removed his clothes (nothing more than needed of course), and was about to do some self prep, really put on a show, when suddenly Daruk pinned him down on his back, big, heavy palm on his chest.

"Hey, let me handle that. You shouldn't be doing all that work."

"I'd say 'fuck you, I do things how I want', but I do like doing no work. Almost gentlemanly, big and brawn. "

"Women like that stuff, right?"

"Course! Granted Urbosa is clearly not someone to flop over, but she's gotta appreciate you offering to do most of the...handiwork. I mean I know I do."

Kohga chuckled. He wasn’t Sooga by any means, but he was a big, handsome meathead. Most Gorons were. Full of gusto and big, stupid muscle. Was it any wonder Kohga had SUCH a crush on their species? It helped that Daruk wasn’t a total newbie about this, and didn't seem to be shy at all. Caring, but not shy. He lubed up his big, strong hands, and lathered up Kohga’s ass and legs, really getting him comfortable to his touch. Goron’s hands were...hot. Kohga was damn near swooning.

"You're gonna tell me if it hurts, right?"

"Pfft. If I didn't like it, trust me, you'd be on the floor."

"You wanna bet, boss man?"

Oh. Oh the way Daruk grabbed his ass as he said that. The way he leaned into him, looking at him with big, challenging eyes. The way he SAID that nickname. It took so much of Kohga not to just melt like butter, and giggle like a bunch of giddy school girls. Kohga may be a top, but if a man was big enough, strong enough, COCKY enough, that could change in an absolute flash. He gulped, forcing his inner whore to keep his composure. Even as Daruk dug a big, oiled finger inside of him, Kohga forced himself to keep his composure.

"Yeah, I do mean it. Bigger doesn't mean stronger. You wanna see it, I'm down."

"Ha! You got attitude, just like she does. Maybe this IS good practice."

"Practice my ass. No seriously, push it further, I can take it."

Daruk didn't seem convinced, but he was at LEAST smart enough to do as he said, and shoved his finger well knuckle deep. It made Kohga tremble a bit from it's size. It was so nice, so big, so slow and steady, Kohga knew he could cum with this, if given enough time. But he wanted more. He wanted to get fucking DESTROYED by that giant weapon on his. Daruk seemed to take the hint, and taunted Kohga's hole with another finger.

"Let's make a deal. If you can handle two fingers, right to the knuckle, we’ll do the real deal.”

“I could handle your whole fist if I wanted to!”

“You wanna bet?”

Daruk made the motion to move further when Kohga panicked, holding his hands out to stop him, and yelling at him to NOT. Don’t get Kohga wrong, he loved a good fisting, he just didn’t like it with a side of death. Daruk threw his head back in laughter, clearly he was kidding.

“I was just calling on your bluff, boss man! You’re fun to mess with. Sooga treats you like this, don’t he?”

Kohga was about to bark at him for talking to him like that, when Daruk introduced a second finger, and god dammit did it kill Kohga. A damn, good stretch, no hesitation on his end. He swore a bit under his breath, before shaking his head.

“I treat HIM like this. I’m much better with my hands. And he usually respects me enough to NOT talk back to me.”

“But you kinda like it. I can tell, because you aren’t stopping me.”

Kohga wanted to have a good comeback for that, but YOU try having something to say when fingers that big were pumping into your oiled up ass. Kohga stammered for a response, before he resorted to punching his shoulder.

“God just shut up and fuck me, rock man.”

Daruk wanted to keep using his fingers, but something told him that if he kept delaying it, Kohga was going to just kill him. So he slowly pulled his fingers out, before grabbing a hold of his thighs, and yanked him closer, till his own dick was brushed up against him. Suffice to say, Kohga was a BIT intimidated. His grip on Kohga was tight as he leaned down to his face.

“I can usually tell by someone’s face if they don’t want this. But uh...with the mask and all, I gotta ask, you sure you wanna do this? We can stop, or do something else. I don’t mind doing something...safer, I guess. No shame if you wanna back out.”

Kohga was distracted for a second. The thing was huge, and it was right up against his stomach. He could feel it, hot and thick against him. He wanted it, and he wanted it BAD. Kohga grabbed him by his stupid blue sash thing, and pulled, wanting to show just how serious he was.

“Fuck. Me. Daruk.”

That was as much of a sign as any. Daruk was so easy on those he found who needed a delicate touch, but if they wanted to go all out against him, he was NOT one to hold back. So he pushed his tip against him, before finally going inside of him. Kohga’s extra hand dug into the sheets. Now don’t get him wrong, he’s had some pretty damn good cock, but this? JUST having the tip in? Kohga already wanted to cum. It stretched his ass, and holy shit did Kohga love it. So much so, he was JUST now noticing Daruk was snapping his fingers in front of his face.

“You okay? You weren’t saying anything, thought I broke you.”

“I’m good. SO good, honestly. You could do more, a LOT more, half at least.”

Daruk learned quickly it seemed, choosing not to question him, and slowly, ever so slowly, started to push more into him. Daruk had one hand onto the wall, the other was used to hold Kohga down, as if he was worried Kohga would run from him. Kohga stayed right there, drooling right behind his mask. Daruk was being careful, but wasn’t sweet. His cock was filling him up, stretching him. As if that wasn’t enough, Daruk was letting him run his hand through that absolute mane of hair. So soft, so warm, it somehow made his cock twitch even harder. But that was nothing compared to how well it felt, having HALF of him inside. Daruk moved his hand right to ass, helping himself to a nice, big handful of Kohga’s absolute dump truck of an ass. No permission, no shyness. Just a big, hot hand. Holy shit.

“Gotta give you credit, you’re handling yourself pretty damn well. I’d ask if you were liking it, but uh, something tells me you are.”

Daruk’s stomach pressed up against his dick, and it was SO close to being enough to make him cum. Kohga prided himself in stamina, but dammit he wanted to bust one here and now. Kohga swallowed, somehow finding his voice as he panted something fierce.

“Y-yeah. I am. Don’t get cocky though, I can outlast you.”

“You wanna bet, bossman?”

Daruk was putting his full weight on him, really pushing himself against him, and holy fuck Kohga was so close that time. But that big, stupid face on Daruk forced him to not cum.

“Yeah. You wanna act smug, let’s bet. If YOU cum first, you gotta ask Urbosa out on a date.”

Daruk’s smirk shrunk a bit, definitely not liking that idea. His brows furrowed in determination.

“Alright. If I win, YOU gotta give Sooga a romantic date. No work on his end.”

Neither wanted to do either of these things, but both knew one of them HAD to be done. So, they both nodded in silent agreement. And that’s when things got crazy. The idea of a contest ignited that Goron fire in him, and Daruk started to finally move. Not just move, but actual rough, rhythmic thrusts, right into Kohga’s ass, He never went anymore than halfway into him, but that was more than enough for Kohga’s greedy ass. Daruk’s cock was not only big, not only thick, but those scales seemed to just brush against every sensitive little part of him. Kohga, in the midst of getting his ass PLOWED into, made the mental note to get a dildo that was JUST like the cock he was getting right now. Kohga thought he was doomed. But then he saw Daruk’s face.

Daruk was panting, he was groaning, he looked like he hadn’t gotten a piece of ass in a long, long time. Then Kohga recalled; HE was the top. He was going to MAKE Daruk lose this bet, even if it killed him. Despite the fact that his ass was being stretched to the size of a goddamn manhole, he dug his hand in that big mess of chest hair, and pulled. Just like Sooga’s long hair, Daruk liked his being pulled, forcing him to rest his forehead against his fist as he tried to pick up his pace. Daruk wasn’t faring too well, and it gave Kohga a fuck ton of confidence.

“You’re gonna fucking lose. You’re gonna lose because you LIKE fucking up my ass. You got a smart mouth, and nice, big hands, with lots of pretty hair. But you just can’t hold yourself when it comes to fucking a body like mine. You JUST started to plow me, and you’re already twitching.”

Kohga gave his chest hair another sharp pull, making him groan loudly at the firm grip from the otherwise soft, delicate hands.

“AND you even like your hair being pulled. You act like you’re rough and rowdy, but you really just like a nice, plump ass to stick that monster cock into. And it’s gonna feel even better when you FUCKING cum in it. Go on, give me that fucking Goron cum.”

Kohga had a way with words. Had a way with his greedy hands and plump ass. Such a way, that Daruk came. He came, with a loud, shameless growl in his voice. Immediately Kohga felt his ass stuffed in cum. However, given the fact that it was occupied with damn near a whole foot of Goron cock, it spilled down his ass, and into the bed below. Kohga was grateful for it, and used the chance to pump his own cock. It helped that Goron cum felt...different from normal cum. It felt much thicker, much HOTTER than usual cum. It didn’t burn, but holy hell did it feel good to have it shoved in his insides. Not to mention him cumming right after, being full of so much big, sexy Goron, felt SO much better than any personal wank session. He didn’t even care that he came, all over his chest, and even his own mask. It was a good, hard, fast fuck that Kohga wanted, and deserved.

They sat there for a moment, bathed in sweat and cum. Kohga couldn’t remember when he last felt so full, and Daruk couldn’t remember when he last felt so empty. Kohga chuckled, leaning up a bit to poke Daruk on the forehead.

“I win. YOU gotta ask Urbosa out now!”

Daruk groaned, rubbing his forehead as if he had a headache.

“I...guess you’re right. A bet is a bet, boss man. Can’t believe you beat me to the punch.”

Kohga folded his arms over his chest, smug as could be.

“Course I did! I’m THE Master Kohga! Now, help me get out of bed. I feel absolutely NOTHING below the waist.”

[nat-20s]

ooh can i have some reluctantly soft hcs about jon pre s1-s2? (maybe even some about pride??)

okay so we gettin REAL soft tonight babes!

-so for pride Sasha and Tim have officially formed the Taking Martin To His First Pride Team and all three of them spend like a week going back and forth on whether or not to invite Jon bc a: he’s a bit surly and b: he might?? be the Token Cishet? (he’s neither, but they don’t know that.) and while a token cishet can be supportive of his friends at pride they also don’t know if they?? qualify as his friends??

-There’s a conversation that basically goes like

Tim: im sure even as a straight guy he’d like to at least be invited. Wait. Is Jon straight? Do we know?

Sasha: I dunno. I get a Vibe from him that says otherwise

Tim: really??? but he’s not receptive to my charms???

Sasha: believe it or not Tim not being attracted to you specifically is not a conclusive indication of heterosexuality.

Tim: sources???

Martin: guys he’s..probably straight. even ignoring just, god, statistical probability, i kind of?? want to?? hold his hand???

Sasha: and that means???

Martin: i pretty much only ever get crushes on deeply unavailable men. Hence why Tim does not make me swoon.

Tim: now that just sounds like a challenge. ALSO I’m pretty sure Jon counts as deeply unavailable regardless of whether or not he’s straight. Not exactly the most open person around. 

Sasha: i say we invite him anyway! if he’s shitty about it I’ll make sure his email doesn’t work right for a month! 

Tim: Sasha you terrify me. I love you.

Sasha: 😘

So Tim casually knocks on Jon’s door and is like “hey boss we’re going to pride this weekend would you like to come with?” and Jon goes through a whole Face Journey because while, at this point, he Knows he’s trans, is pretty?? sure?? he’s bi, and is aware of being ace but not of like the word or that other people are Like That, pride is still..a lot. Especially when he’s not out to any of them. Reluctantly he ends up agreeing to come along and actually DOES and it’s good? it’s weird for him but it’s nice. It’s really nice and it feels safe and joyful in a way that he’s not used to. He’s doesn’t pick up any merch but the fact that it exists, that there’s people like him out here and living life? it’s lovely to watch. Doubly so to see his coworkers all having a blast. It’s not like any of the other three are particularly dour at work, but here? the three of them THRIVE.

non pride related

-Before he is just so stressed all the time constantly Jon used to sing to himself quite a lot! You can pry “Jon is a good singer” from my cold dead hands. before he becomes Boss Man he’s willing to keep singing even when a coworker walks in and sasha in particular is like woah! that sounds really nice! After shit goes down he kind of stop singing, which sucks because it’s something he really enjoys but it just. Doesn’t come out anymore. Until Scotland at least. Martin is extremely taken with it. 

-There’s a point where Jon walks in on Tim desperately trying not to fuck up the Other Eye when it comes to putting on eyeliner and after about 7 minutes of struggling because it’s just one of those days Jon is like “jesus christ”, grabs Tim’s face, and applies a FLAWLESS, symmetrical cat eye in like .2 seconds. Tim is DELIGHTEDLY like “Jon what the fuck??? :DDD” and Jon is like “i went to college” even though it explains NOTHING and Martin, who’s been watching this exchange the entire time, is a Touch Starved Gay Icon with the World’s Dumbest Crush who thinks nothing but “jon. Hands. Face.” before saying “I Would Also Like Eyeliner” and Jon is like GROANS you would wouldnt you and then does it anyway. Jon doesn’t realize he cataloged the feeling of martin’s face under his hands until like. two years and one soppy dream later

-Jon establishes himself as a clothing thief in season 1 while martin is staying in the archive. one day he accidentally takes Martin’s hoodie and DOESN’T even notice even though it’s a: blatantly not the cardigan of the same color he thought he was grabbing and b: oversized on him. Martin sees him and is like “is that?? my hoodie??” and that’s when jon finally looks at what he’s wearing and just replies, “Yes.” Martin asks, “Can I..have it back” and since Jon is Pissy and Sleep Deprived and generally not in his right senses and also his animal hindbrain is like hhhg hoodie smell good he flatly responds, “No.” And Martin finds it a very confusing mix of deeply annoying and deeply endearing. 

-other items jon has stolen:

one of roises big ol hair clips

a scarf of sasha’s

a pair of Tim’s pajama pants?? how did he even get those???

Like half of Georgies wardrobe at some point or another

-Before he became archivist, he had a favorite little reading nook in the institute. It was private and sunny and quiet and HIS and he spent many a lunch there without anyone knowing, back when he got to read for fun 

-for all the shit that he tries to give Martin about letting a dog into the institute, over the course of his career there he has temporarily snuck in three different stray cats and also a very sad looking hedgehog because he’s a bleeding heart with the rest of em

-he’s not the best baker but when he DOES manage to make something really well, he would almost always bring it into work to share, with a note listing ingredients and a “feel free to eat” note, but absolutely making sure no one knows it was him that dropped it off. Sasha recognizes his hand writing every time but they have a silent agreement that he always sneaks her the best of the batch and she doesn’t say anything

[angelhummel]

unpopular op: i never wanted bi blaine. bc when blaine met kurt he was already out and proud with himself. he was gay. if he was introduced as bi, it'd be ok. but him being bicurious after that kiss with rachel wouldnt make sense to me bc he was the one who pulled kurt up and made him feel okay with being gay, being out and proud. it'd be like, so yeah blaine is more masculine so make him bisexual and that'd be very stereotypical. but it could be ok if he was introduced as bi at the beginning

Okay so if we had bi Blaine then obviously I wouldn’t want it the way it was in canon. That was a big ol mess. So here’s what I would’ve done 

Starting with their first meeting when Kurt is like “Can I ask you guys a question? Are you guys all gay?” and then Blaine is like “No, no, these two are straight. But I’m not” so Kurt obviously takes that to mean he’s gay. And then Blaine tells him about being bullied for being with a guy and that’s why he came to Dalton and so it’s not brought up again for a while 

Blaine can have the crush on the Gap guy, same as canon. Then Rachel’s party comes around and maybe Blaine says something about how he’s enjoying being around girls for a change (maybe something about Brittany since she’s running around half naked) and Kurt is like “?” and then later in the night he kisses Rachel and Kurt is like “...” and then he acts interested in Rachel later on and Kurt is like “!” and so he confronts Blaine about it and he’s basically like “what are you doing?? I thought you were gay?” And Blaine is like “When did I say that?” and Kurt’s like “When we first met! You said you weren’t straight” 

And Blaine is like “I’m not. There’s more than just gay and straight you know?” and so that’s their argument at the lima bean and kurt feels a little hurt and betrayed bc he thought blaine was just like him and it turns out he’s not. so kurt feels like blaine was leading him on even though he wasn’t, bc it’s not like blaine had to disclose his full sexuality to kurt five minutes after they first met. and so kurt’s feelings are more understandable and also it’s not biphobic bc i’m writing this and i’m not biphobic rip to rm but i’m different

and maybe like kurt can voice some common misconceptions of bi people and it’s like a nice teaching moment for him and the audience. like saying something about how if blaine is with a girl then he’s “straight passing” and blaine is like “well being with a girl doesn’t erase the other parts of my sexuality, and being with a girl wouldn’t make me straight just like being with a guy wouldn’t make me gay. i’m still bi, no matter who i’m with” and he still dates rachel but he just realizes that there’s no real spark there and decides to end it 

and then in sexy when the girls give blaine their numbers kurt can say something about like ooh it must be blaine’s lucky day and blaine doesn’t really respond but he has this look on his face so we know he’s not really interested in them and he just passes the numbers on to one of the other warblers or something 

and so of course by the next ep blaine has realized he’s in love with kurt and they get together and that’s that. BUT just like in canon there’s lots of things left unsaid and bubbling under the surface and creating doubts and fears that our poor boys don’t know how to properly communicate just yet 

so maybe in s3 blaine gets to dalton and he’s like the new kid so people are interested in him. and of course he’s got all his duets and roles with rachel and that stirs up feelings of last year for kurt. and maybe some other girls at school are flirty with him and he enjoys the attention but also doesn’t pay it much mind. and so when sebastian comes along he’s just like the final nail in the coffin for kurt

and then instead of that fucking alpha gay bullshit nonsense there’s some other type of nonsense about how like kurt is worried cause blaine has guys and girls all over him and it’s really intimidating and he doesn’t know what to do bc he’s always scared blaine might feel like he’s missing something and “switch teams” or whatever. and of course blaine is like “i would never do that. i love you bc of who you are, not what parts you have” etc and so that’s what they argue over in 3x17 but of course blaine reassures kurt and kurt feels better and he stops feeling jealous or like he’s not enough and yeah

also bi blaine means he could date tina in s4 hooray no unrequited love triangles

[illdesigns]

Kloktober Day 9

crossover or fave au

my favorite au featuring the most coveted ship - magnus/therapy

rated m, warnings for brief talks of canon typical violence, self harm

The office had a smell. That was the worst part. Not the pastel walls or the various ceramic kittens and cherubs or the pale yellow sofa that sagged as Magnus sat in it. It had an absolute perfume smell to it, like he had his face buried in a field of flowers at all times.

Well, it wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was a special kind of torture that most people were not privy to - the sound of mechanical fingers clicking a pen.

“You gotta talk for this to do anything, you know,” Magnus’ eye tracked the man behind the desk as he wheeled back and forth in his office chair. “C’mon, big guy. I know you got a lot going on in that head of yours. What’re you thinking about?”

“Leaving,” Magnus replied briskly. “So I can have a beer and pretend this didn’t happen.”

“You use alcohol like that a lot?” Twinkletits asked curiously, pausing his rolling but not the pen clicking. “To cope with things? You a heavy drinker?”

“No,” he snapped. (Translation: Yes.)

“When you drink, how many drinks do you have? Just one or two, five or more?” he wasn’t subtle in what he was asking. Which is why Magnus hated therapists. He had tried it, once or twice, even before everything in his life really went to shit. When he was just depressed about being in his early twenties because being in your early twenties fucking sucks. And there had been one afterwards but, well, she just didn’t work out either. Dropped him after the whole stabbing story. “Talk with me, Magnus. You’ve got a friend worried about you, you know.”

“I don’t have friends,” it was out of his mouth faster than he intended and he winced. Whatever. If that got back to Toki somehow, Magnus could sue right? Patient confidentiality, HIPAA or whatever? Twinkletits wrote something on the pad in his hand. “What are you writing?”

“Don’t worry about me. My job is to take notes about this stuff for future reference, you just talk. Why don’t you think you have friends? Toki cares about you a lot. He set this up for you, asked you to come down and see me. That’s a friend, right?” Twinkletits offered.

“Yeah,” Magnus spoke with a hint of guilt, looking at his hands. (Translation: Yeah, actually.)

He felt the urge to sneeze, covering his face with the crook of his elbow, rubbing his nose and sniffling. That fucking smell was still covering every surface of his nostrils and it was starting to give him a headache.

“What’s that smell?” he asked.

“Bless you. Lavender. Keeps people calm,” Twinkletits beamed at him. It was funny, because he felt the urge to bash his head into a wall the more he had to inhale it. Not very calming. “And speaking of calm…Toki told me some interesting stuff about you.”

No. No, no, no. Magnus looked up at him again and his eyebrows knit together in suspicion.

“Like?” he asked, knowing the answer.

“So, do you wanna tell me about what happened back in…” he checked his notes. “1999? Ol’ Nate mentioned it too. Feels like it’s important to bring up.”

“Oh, he tell you he did this?” Magnus gestured to his dead eye.

“He told me he did that after you, uh, you stabbed him. But yes, he did,” Twinkletits wrote another little note. Magnus could only imagine what the little dossier Dethklok has on him now will look like. But it’s easier to imagine Offdensen smirking as he reads it, easier to imagine a list of reasons why Toki shouldn’t hang around him laid out in front of him, easier to imagine all of his plans unraveling because he went along with this.

“He, uh…” Magnus paused. Even if he was going to lie about what happened (not that he would be believed by a guy on their payroll anyway) he wasn’t sure...what had happened. It was always a blur when he tried to remember the details - his thought process, why it happened. It was like he blinked and opened his eyes to Nathan beating the shit out of him. “Not much to say if he told you.”

“What about from your point of view?” he prodded, steepling his skinny robot fingers. Why did their therapist have robot arms, anyway? Magnus found that more interesting.

“I dunno, man. It just happened!” he was defensive already, arms crossed over his chest, leg crossed. Shut off. “Things just happen, you know? Like before then I’d have problems with getting mad really easy. People would like, call me stupid and I’d blow up on them or something bad would happen and I’d get depressed and cry it out then take it out on people. And they started to hate me for it, and I started getting worse than that. I see you writing, dude, what are you writing?”

“Just writing what you’re saying. Helps me keep track, okay? Nothing bad,” Twinkletits waved him on. “Go on.”

“I...well, I dunno. It just got worse. I was mad all the time. Thought about hurting myself a lot. Then I started doing that. Thought about hurting other people a lot after that, and then…” he shrugged his shoulders. “Then I did. And got kicked out and live in a little one room apartment while my old friends have this giant sprawling mansion and shit now, who cares.”

“Do you think about that still?” he picked his head up curiously. “Do you think about hurting yourself or others?”

Magnus paused for a moment and thought. Who didn’t think about hurting themselves? You know, just get so frustrated and filled with nervous energy you had to hit yourself in the head a few times? And there was the time before last that he had hung out with Toki, where Toki had sat and talked and talked and talked for too long and Magnus had imagined grabbing his hair and slamming his face into the table to shut him up.

His mind flashed to a basement in an abandoned building. Silver chains and a silver face, both hungrily waiting for their captive.

“No,” he said softly. “I’ve gotten better with that.”

Twinkletits smiled. Checked his clock.

“You know, I gotta wind this down today but...thank you for opening up! Doesn’t it feel nice?” he stood as Magnus did, breaking the distance quickly. He held out a hand to shake and Magnus found himself taking it. His grip was stronger than he expected but metal couldn’t be limp wristed, could it? “I appreciate you opening up at all. We can continue this next time you stop by to hang out, okay? Toki can fill me in so I can make space for you. Oh, before you go-o-o-o-”

He turned to grab something from his desk. A sticker sheet. Magnus frowned as he watched those mechanical fingers peel one off.

“I’m not in Kindergarten. I don’t need a gold star,” Magnus grunted as he felt Twinkletits’ hand on the lapel of his jacket.

“Oh, this isn’t a gold star, buddy! It’s something better,” he beamed up at him. “It’s a banana sticker. For a job well done! You obviously don’t open up easily and I’m sure all that’s a sore subject, so even the little bit we talked about was probably a big step for you!”

Magnus looked down. Well, it sure was a banana sticker. Okay. Seemed a little too gay for his taste but whatever. He was just going to peel it off and toss it the second he could anyway. Twinkletits gave him a wave when he departed and Magnus was stopped outside of the therapist’s office by all but running into Toki dead on.

“Hows it go?” he asked excitedly, then his eyes found it. “Ohhh, you gots a stickers already?! That’s goods, it took me forevers to get ones! Man I gots to do somethings specials as we hangs out today!”

“What?” Magnus raised his eyebrows in confusion as he spoke, looking down at it. It was just a goddamn sticker.

“It’s a big deals! Means you dids a good jobs. I’m prouds of you, pals!” Toki said, face lighting up and eyes crinkling as he looked at Magnus.

Proud. For a sticker? But, Magnus tried to really think of when the last time someone told him they were proud of him. Whatever. He’d take it. He let out a little grunt as Toki wrapped his arms around him in a crushing hug and that gave him more pause. His arms hung by his side limply, his chest and throat suddenly hurt and Magnus wracked his brains for the last time that someone had given him a hug, either. More than ten years ago probably, five figures huddled in front of a camera to commemorate some successful show or something.

So Magnus kept the sticker. So what? It wasn’t anyone’s business if he did or not. Or if he kept the others that he accumulated over the next few months. Or if he found it easier to keep his hair up in a bun at this point. He’d been growing it for years, he could keep it up now and then. Or if he did a few other things, like wear a shirt now and then, change up his style a little bit. And there was a tiny part of him that found it funny as fuck when Dethklok stared at him with a mix of confusion and horror as Toki drug him into the living room of Mordhaus, proudly talking about his brand new friend.

[yikesharringrove]

the fic you wrote for my last prompt was amazing, ty 😭 can you do 50 + 56 this time please? and if you want to work in dyslexic!steve too that would be awesome! 🥰

You are speaking my fuckin’ language, dyslexic Steve is my ABSOLUTE jam. Honestly, whenever I write Steve, he’s dyslexic, although sometimes it’s not mentioned because it’s not important to Harry’s journey @ jk rowling

Thank you for your request! I’m really glad you liked the other one I wrote! You’re anonymous so I don’t know which one that is but I really enjoyed writing them all! Sorry for my manic energy rn.

Something a little different, it’s modern au! This is probably nothing like what you were thinking so I’m sorry, but I kinda love it ngl.

50: Secret Admirer

56: “I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.”

Prompt list!

Billy spent three and a half hours reading through every single tweet on the account.

There were so fucking many of them. The earliest one was timestamped from four days ago, so obviously, this person had no life outside of tweeting.

Tweeting about Billy.

He had a few personal favorites. He had retweeted them to his account, figuring may as well play it up, make a joke outta everything.

@ImHardForHargrove: sorry WHOMST gave you the RIGHT to have eyes that fuckin blue im YELLING

@ImHardForHargrove: watchin u play basketball is a religious experience y are ur arms so BIG hhnnnng

And Billy’s absolute favorite, which he pinned right at the top of his account

@ImHardForHargrove: ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass ass

Billy knew he looked good. Knew he turned heads wherever he went. He did that on purpose. But realizing someone at Hawkins High had set up a thirst account for him, well.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered or offended.” Billy had explained the situation to Robin, letting her go through the account on his phone. “Like, It’s kinda nice, whoever this guy is, he’s got a crush. But also like, It’s kinda creepy. Plus he’s objectifying me,” Billy was talking through his sandwich.

Robin made a face of disgust. “Why do you keep saying ‘he’? All of the girls in this fucking school are practically drooling for you.”

“Hard for Hargrove, Robin. I know you’re like, revolted by the peen and whatever but that does not excuse a lack of basic sexual education and anatomy.” She gagged at him. Honest to God, gagged. He thought she was gonna spew all over the table.

“If I ever hear you call it a peen ever again, it’s on sight Hargrove.” Heather plopped herself down next to Robin, kissing her cheek before zeroing in on Billy’s phone, still in Robin’s hand.

“Have you guys worked out who it could be yet?” Her eyes were wide at Billy.

“Billy says he thinks its a guy even though people with penises aren’t necessarily men.” Robin gave him a pointed look.

“Yeah Robin, I know that, but, I don’t know I just think it’s a guy penis-having person.”

Heather narrowed her eyes at him. “Do you actually think that, or are you just hoping in that goblin little brain of yours that this account is Steve Harrington’s.” Billy could feel the heat spread down his neck.

“Billy, I know Steve is like, the only out guy in this whole fucking town, but you can do way better than him.  PLUS, I feel like it makes more sense if the person running this account wasn’t out and had to channel their gay yearning through social media.”

“First of all Robin, you have this vendetta against Steve that I don’t get. He’s a nice guy. He’s kinda dopey, kinda dumb, but he’s like, sweet and shit. Second, I’m not out, so it still could be him because he doesn’t think I would, like, accept his advances or whatever. Hence, gay internet yearning.” The chime of the bell sent them packing their lunches, Billy’s phone vibrated in Robin’s hand. She rolled her eyes when he realized he turned on notifications for the account

“Get a fucking life you loser.” She slapped the phone into his hand. He opened the new tweet with embarrassing zeal.

@ImHardForHargrove: i saw u talking with ur mouth full and it was yucky but i was still  🥺🥺

His head shot up, trying to see who would have been facing him during lunch, but the cafeteria was almost empty.

The rest of the week Billy took deliberate care of every interaction he had with anyone. Observing who was in his surroundings, and making note of everything he did and said. He took extra caution around Steve, wanting to spot any minute detail that could give away who ran the account.

The account started blowing up. People were retweeting like fucking crazy. Everywhere he went, he was being asked if he’s seen it, like he doesn’t regularly retweet the good ones. The search for the owner of the account had spread throughout the whole school. A few girls even tried to claim the account was theirs, but every time that happened the account would tweet out something to discredit whoever made the claim, proving them a liar.

Billy was starting to lose hope it was Harrington. The tweets were coming at all different times, posted whenever the person thought about it, so Billy was losing track of who was near when he said or did something. And the tweets were always about stupid stuff Billy didn’t register doing. On Wednesday night the account said

@ImHardForHargrove: hi when you chew on your pencil and it makes me 🥴 that is all thx for comin to my ted talk

Friday afternoon gave them all:

@ImHardForHargrove: walked past ur classroom and u were asleep ive never wanted to CUDDLE someone so bad in my LIFE

But Saturday, Saturday renewed all hope for Harrington Billy could possibly have. Lauren Kranz was throwing a party. It was the first real rager in a while, so everyone was there, and everyone was sloshed. Everyone but Billy, who’d agreed to be designated driver for Robin and Heather like some kinda idiot.

He was brooding on the back porch when his phone went off. The account was active, and the owner was drunk.

@ImHardForHargrove: I can seeeeee u oyt the windw I wan u 2 FUC ME. RAW DOG.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry ur so beauitiful nd THICCC

@ImHardForHargrove: I wana shoot my shot but idk if u lik bois

@ImHardForHargrove: (ys i am boi)

@ImHardForHargrove: nd i dont wana get my heart broken agin 😥

He was right about it being a guy. He was right about him being too nervous to approach him outright. His brain was screaming stevestevesteve at him. Hawkins was shook when Steve came out as bisexual in his sophomore year. He was the golden boy, a real jock. He was NOT the kind of guy people would assume queer in a small midwestern town.

He was kind of a douchebag, dumping one girl for another, sleeping with her and never calling again. But then he settled down with this guy from the University of Indianapolis for a few months until Steve caught him cheating. Apparently, he had slashed the guy’s tires. Billy was impressed.

The next year came Wheeler, who only stuck around long enough to make sure Steve was nice and whipped before she fucked off on him too. So Steve retreated. Spent more time with middle schoolers than anybody else. Didn’t want to put his heart on the line anymore until he knew it wouldn’t be stomped on.  Billy could respect that.

Billy couldn’t risk being out in a town like Hawkins. Word always had a way of getting right back to his dad, and in a tiny hick town with nothing better to do than gossip, it was usually only a matter of hours before Neil heard something he didn’t like.

@ImHardForHargrove: srry 4 bad typing rn. drunk nd dysl exic ren’t a happy combo

Billy’s heart stopped. The drunken idiot was giving himself away. Maybe if he sat here staring at the account long enough, enough would be revealed he could figure it all out like a shitty drunk episode of Blue’s Clues.

He was so focused on Twitter, refreshing his feed, again and again, he didn’t notice a very drunk, and very unsteady Steve Harrington stumbling out the back door towards him. Until he crashed into his back.

“Sorry, Bill!” Billy had Steve by the shoulders trying to keep him upright. “Heyy I have a question for you.” Steve grabbed one of Billy’s hands and veered over to the table and chairs arranged neatly on the small patio. When they were sitting, Steve kept ahold of Billy’s hand.

“Hi.” Steve was smiling like a little kid. Billy was in fucking love.

“hey, Harrington. What was your question.”

“So-oo. I have this friend. A very good friend. Super close. And he has a big ol’ crush on you but he’s too scared to ask you himself because he keeps getting his heart fuckin’ broken so he wanted me to ask. Are you into guys?” It’s a miracle Billy understood any of that, every word blending into the next.

“That depends.” Billy leaned in, running his tongue along his bottom lip. He saw Steve take in a sharp breath, following the movement with his glazed eyes. He knew Steve was talking about himself, he just wanted to rile him up a little. Make him blush first. “This friend you’re talkin’ about. He’s our age? Like you’re not trying to set me up with one a’ your kids, right?” Steve physically recoiled.

“NO, you fuckin’ pedo. I’m NOT trying to set you up with a fuckin’, fuckin’ middle schooler. My friend is, uh eighteen. He’s a senior.” Unless Tommy fuckin’ H. suddenly had a penchant for dick Billy didn’t know about, Steve was 100% talking about himself.

“Well, if he’s as pretty as you are, I’d love to go out with him sometime.” Billy winked. Steve went red.

“Okay, but like, does that mean you’d go out with me? Like I’m as pretty as me, right? Because I was talking about me. Not ‘a friend’ I was talking about me. Steve.”

“Yeah, I kinda figured that out. You know, I was hoping it was you running that Twitter. Any time you’d tweet out something you wanted to do with me, I was always picturin’ doing it with you, Baby.” Billy was practically purring. “Especially all the shit you wanted me to do TO you.” Steve gave something between a whine and a groan and flopped himself onto Billy’s lap, straddling him with very little grace.

“Thank God. ‘Cause you’re so fucking hot I’d let you do anything to me. Anything, Bill.” Billy smiled softly at him.

“Then let me take you home. Let me put you in bed to sleep off all this. And let me take you to breakfast tomorrow. Something nice and greasy for your hangover tummy.” Steve was a puddle in Billy’s lap. “C’mon, Drunky, git your ass up.” Steve just giggled and muttered Drunky Skunky under his breath.

Billy sighed and stood up, hefting Steve up with him.

“Bil-ly,” Steve whined. “You’re so strong, this is so fucking hot. I gotta tweet about this.”

“Tweet it later, Sweet Thing.”

It took Billy for-fucking-ever to find Robin and Heather (they were making out in the basement with the stoners). But Steve chirped and cooed into his ear, so happy Billy could lift him and hold him like it was nothing.

The last tweet from the account was timestamped from Sunday evening.

@ImHardForHargrove: Hi this is Steve. Billy’s my boyfriend now 🥰#ThirstWorks

[trunkzbriefs]

Any Son and/or Briefs family headcanons? Spicy hot takes? Truths Toriyama and Toyotaro themselves can not handle? Straight up lies?

GODDAMN SORRY this took a while cause i suck at putting thoughts together. i apologize for my obvious briefs bias i have more hcs for them than the son family despite loving them both :pensive: anyway heres some random stuff

briefs hcs:

all of the briefs are pros at non-verbal communication. i hc that saiyans have their own language (and also in my own Mind Canon they still have their fuckin tails) and a lot of it is done through tail movement/body posture/grunts/etc. etc so theyve all sort of picked that up. even bulma, who doesnt have a tail, is pretty good at getting across what she means without actually speaking. they still do speak normally but it comes in handy sometimes considering that both trunks and vegeta are prone to running out of speaking energy or getting very frustrated with words, so having another way to communicate works very well for them

vegeta is fffffffffffffffffffurry. without getting too deep into my own General Saiyan hcs (thats why i made a whole ass four subspecies!!) i think that the entirety of planet vegeta tended to be very hot aside from the part where the castle was, where the temperature would drop. meaning that saiyans working in the palace would grow thicker fur around certain parts of their body, and in the royal saiyans theyd be Especially fluffy. he kept it down on earth, but he has thick patches of fur around the bottom parts of his arms and legs. kind of like snowy boots and gloves! he also has fur that grows in on his neck like a lions mane.

future trunks is an actions sponge, vegeta is a words sponge. vegeta will pick up words VERY quickly regardless if he fully understands the meaning of it or not (completely inspired by 'THATS RIGHT BOYS... MONDO COOL' in z) and future trunks will unintentionally mimic the actions of people - around people he looks up to he might take a few small mannerisms from but this extends to copying the disposition of anyone; he's just very adaptive. this is the most obvious (and funniest) when he's around vegeta bc it really shows like. yeah damn that sure is vegeta's son

vegeta & bulla have an intimidating bastard smirk naturally. their natural smiles are pretty frightening and they have to put effort into a 'normal' one. this also extends to current trunks, his default smile is the Vegeta Bastard Smirk but he learned to have a normal smile quicker than his father and sister. future trunks has a slightly unnerving natural smile (the fact that his pupils are always drawn so fucking small makes me hc that he just has a very intimidating look of 'cat thats about to pounce on an unfortunate trapped mouse' whenever he smiles) but he learned to look normal even quicker than current trunks since he's around humans a Lot and is sort of their uh, Hope. don't want to look scary to the people who depend on you!

bulma has some fighting knowledge and mildly good ki control. vegeta taught her it as a just in case so that she'd be able to defend herself against Bigger threats if he wasn't there and also so she could raise her own ki to alert someone to her if she had to.

vegeta is extremely clean and can not stand to have things disorganized for more than like... an hour before he has to tidy everything up. every time he goes down to the lab and bulma is passed out in a pile of bolts and circuit boards it kills him inside just a little bit

future trunks has little concept of power control. since his timeline was always in danger it wasn't really an important thing for him to learn. the amount of mugs he's accidentally crushed is impressive

vegeta tends to not sound like he's asking questions when he is. he doesn't add the proper infliction to the end of his questions and just sounds flat most of the time. it's confusing to people who dont know him well.

im not even gonna lie, im a BIG fan of the chill demon panchy headcanon so i love the idea that the briefs have a Lil bit of demon in them but just dont know it ghjnkm

[banging my fists on the 'hcs that not even got could take away from me' table] future trunks has OCD

vegeta doesn't really get labels but he's bisexual & "debatably a man", bulma is bisexal & bigender transfem (sometimes shes Wamen and other times its like "gender? no"), bulla is a nonbinary lesbian, current trunks is a bisexual trans man & future bulma forgot to explain the concept of gender and sexuality to future trunks so he's a little confused on that front and his gender & sexuality are "i have literally never thought abt these concepts in my life but i think men are nice. i refuse to think about gender though" (i actually have two main hcs for future trunks which are either gay trans man or more-feminine-presenting nonbinary bisexual)

son hcs:

goku is Not as fluffy as vegeta at all, but he does have fur on certain parts of his body. namely on the back of his elbows + ankles, down his back connecting to his tail, and on his shoulders. its inherented from gine!

gohan is learning saiyan language from vegeta! vegeta acts grumpy about it but he's glad to have someone to teach. when gohan learned that most of the history had been lost he basically wished shenron for a big ol book on saiyan culture and gave it to vegeta just as an act of kindness and vegeta was like [in an angry voice but very touched] "Ok. Sit down. You're learning." by extension gohan is also teaching the rest of his family!

i will take ox king being actually non-human to my grave so like, chichi has horns and a very short ox tail! gohan and goten both have horns, but they're hidden by hair. goten's horns are bigger than gohans.

goten also has a more ox-like tail, with a little puff of fur at the end. generally, gohan looks more saiyan-like and goten looks more ox/human-like.

although he keeps up his cheery demeanor very well, goku is still haunted pretty badly by like... everything that’s happened in his life. he still has frequent nightmares about cell & buu specifically.

gohan will freak out at worse, zone out at best, if he's even tapped on the neck. it reminds him of the whole 'getting his neck snapped on namek' so that area is pretty off limits to everyone

goten gets along really well with android 17. they both have a love for nature and 17s kind of like his chill uncle, so whenever he gets too stressed out or just needs a break you can find him face down on the ground outside of 17's place on monster island.

goku is really really good at remembering completely random shit. bulma uses this to her advantage whenever she's working and has him memorize random technology stuff. a week later goku can not remember what he had for breakfast that morning but as soon as bulma asks "hey do you remember what i told you last week" hes like "oh yeah sure i have no idea what it means but [blurts out three hours worth of technical garble]"

oh boy is this a headcanon that has a lot more depth to it than just a bullet on a tumblr post, but gohan has DID!

goku, like vegeta, doesnt get labels either, and does not even Try, ask him about any of it and hes like "i dont get the gender thing but i think lots of people look nice :)" gohan is gay and like vegeta, "debatably a man", goten + chichi are both bi nonbinary, & pan is a lesbian trans woman.

both:

bulla and pan are both into music! i think theyd mess around making their own stuff w/ launchpads

i have a general hc of ki mixing or shielding, essentially, if youre close enough to someone people wont be able to tell apart your ki and you can also 'shield' someone with your ki for a small amount of time. if vegeta has his energy low, his and bulma's energy are the same. same thing with goku and chichi! goten and trunks are near impossible to tell apart, and same thing with gohan and videl.

though goten and trunks are both protective over their younger siblings, gotenks is that protectiveness times a thousand. look at bulla or pan wrong for 2 seconds and you're going to have an angry gotenks in your face asking if you have any last words. i like to think that trunks and goten fused casually a lot, especially around the time where bulla and pan were young, so its basically goten and trunks own attachment to them PLUS gotenks' attachment to them as his own person combined.

i like to pretend end of z did not happen the way it did so uub, using nimbus, travels back and forth a lot. goku isn’t the only one who teaches him how to fight as goten, gohan and trunks all think of him like a little brother and love training with him!

fuck you letters to toriyama/toyotaro hot takes:

cell, as cool of a villian as he is, definitely should have had a creepier final form. or multiple- just something that really drives in the fact that he's made up of other's dna & fuckin ABSORBS people. also his first two forms should have had a different absorbtion method other than the tail thing (not the drinking thing thats fine) it just feels.   Weird. not good

it would have been far more interesting to keep the bitter attitude towards vegeta that future trunks had imo... in super trunks was going through a Lot granted but the fact tht he wasnt more confrontational to vegeta being a dick to him seemed kind of off considering his attitude in z i just.. think it would be interesting and far better if they had more of a back and forth 'family but lowkey hate each other' relationship

i dont want to rant about super so heres some super condensed takes, goku black arc specific because thats 90% of what ive seen of super:

mai is a fucking freak ass weirdo, why did they not just make another character to pair with trunks

trunks not flipping the fuck out at his timeline being erased feels... out of character. also trunks deserved the win against zamasu

future bulma did NOT need to die

trunks should have just stayed in the current timeline

please fucking let trunks and goten grow up. we SAW a version of trunks who looked 14 (history of trunks....) and the versions of goten & trunks we have r/n in super do not look 13/14 respectively what in the goddamn hell is going on in the character design department

super definitely should have taken place later down the line

supers version of bulma and videl look awful. why are they That stick like.

vegeta needs to kill frieza. just once.

fu has enough potential to be a very interesting mainline character and i am so sad he's not

i would actively enjoy a sdbh anime with more  budget that isnt just a promo anime and has a plot that makes sense... i think db should have more wild spinoffs

xenoverse deserved a better story that went FULL in on the 'what if' type of timelines- like they did in raging blast which is a FUCKING GREAT GAME

straight up lies:

dragon ball z is a good series

[my-darling-has-forgotten-me]

Gay Sakamakis~

This was requested by @luan-decievor ~ This is basically what I did with the Mukami brothers.

Shu~

Oh honey, do you really think that Shu didn't have a tiny crush on Edgar?

Maybe they had a bromance

He probably asked his mom if two men could be together romantically and oh the homophobia that came out of sweet Bea's mouth.

After that he tried to find interest in women and kinda succeeded

Women never really satisfied him

He probably bought a few magazines... with shirtless men.

Maybe the good ol TodoDeku and Victuuri doujinshis also and he just said they're for his girlfriend.

He was a cashier at one point so he'd get a discount.

No, he will not come out.

Unfortunately, that Sakamanky bros aren't that accepting as the Mukatsuki brothers.

Couldn't care less what they think tho.

Has a thing for Yuma, c'mon Yuma threw an apple at Shu in the OVA, in ancient Greece if you yeeted an apple at a human you liked, it's confessing your love to them. SOO

Reiji~

The complete... And utter shame... This man feels about it.

Big secret

Tries to seem as straight as possible and hates it.

He is a very prideful man so if his brothers found out, oof he'd never be the same.

Can anyone imagine Reiji with a gay voice?

He dreads it if dear ol daddy Karl Wheezer finds out, his life is over.

He likes diligent and capable men, basically every seme in every yaoi.

Maybe he's a switch?

I've seen dudes who are semes who look like ukes. So who knows what darling Reiji is like.

He'd be embarrassed to hold hands with his boyfriend in public.

Oof maybe he'd like someone like Victor from Yuri on ice or Sebastian from Black Butler

He tries to get over the shame he feels.

Ayato~

I'd say Ayato is more bisexual than gay.

Always checks out guys when they're changing in the lockeroom for basketball.

Sees nothing wrong with being gay, Ayato's confident so that's good.

Doesn't deal with homophobia that well.

He wants an uke... Not like a feminine looking one, like maybe one with a similar body type to himself.

He's a top, I'll say that much.

Seeks out Chichinashi for advice.

"So... If you liked girls what would you do?"

"Ayato are you coming out to me?"

"yeah".

Will most likely come out to Yui or Laito.

Because Yui never seems to judge him no matter what he does and Laito wouldn't care if Ayato liked dick.

I think he'd want someone like Mafuyu from Given, idk.

He slowly develops a gay voice.

He'll be hella gay for Ruki.

Kanato~

N E I N

N O N

н е т

N O

いいえ

N I E

"GUYS CANT LIKE GUYS!!!"

Has a very hard time coming to terms with it.

Who wants a tsundere uke...?

Has no interest in topping another man

Is disgusted with himself.

"Teddy... What do you think i'll do?"

Has no idea what to do.

Does research and learns that it's okay to be gay.

Get chu a proper mans!

Not very open about it but tries to find a boyfriend (Azusa)

Considers Azusa.

Laito~

Most open about it, completely unashamed.

Has his fair share of... Magazines let's just say.

has a few dildos

He's been with men before trust me.

Hasn't had very good experiences with women so he prefers men.

Comes out to Ayato and maybe Yui.

Doesn't care about homophobia, if he wants dick, he'll have it.

It bothers him a little bit because he thinks it's wrong that who you love depends on what society thinks.

He can fuck all he wants but he can't screw a man? Bad logic.

Not fussy on a partner, anyone will do for Laito as long as they're interesting.

Did I mention he's a switch?

Always ready to console his boyfriend if anything gets to him.

Subaru~

"oh... Im gay"

Yeah, makes no difference to him whether he's into guys or girls because 'its not like anyone will like him'

Has his fair share of yaoi doujinshis and gay porn.

U K E

He's always thought that Kou was kinda cute and kinda liked being teased by him.

Gets a crush on him.

Says Yas kween once and that raised many suspicions among his brothers.

No way in hell he's coming out to his broskis

Maybe to Yui because again, she, for some reason, doesn't judge any of them.

Josh Grelle was the voice actor for Yuri Katsuki y'all c'mon! And Armin.

Starts hanging out with the fujoshis and meets Yuma at one of the meetings.

He doesn't trust women, probably why he prefers ochinchin.

Gets insecure about homophobia and it makes him sad.

Kou and Subaru become the schools power couple.

[cosmic-affinities]

Loathing....Right? Ch3

The two scenarios in this chapter are meant to be happening at the same time so hopefully, it isn’t too confusing!

Read on AO3 Here

The next weeks flew by quickly the six 8th years seemingly always in Harry and Draco’s room, to the chagrin of the latter. Although it was always the end of the night where things become stretched thin. Harry had seen Malfoy (they were still Malfoy and Potter to the disappointment of the two women) swipe the hair off of his forehead at least eight times in the last ten minutes they had been working. The platinum colour was distracting, especially since it was slightly grown out and not under the weight of a tub of gel.

Draco had to resist the urge to magically stick Potter’s glasses to his face at any given moment. He couldn’t even begin to describe the way Potter moved around, graceless one moment and using his Seeker reflexes the next, it caught him off guard. The way Potter’s face scrunched when he was too concentrated, it was positively annoying, and he wouldn’t even start on the ill-fitting muggle clothing.

The icing on the cake for Harry was how thrown off he was by Malfoy’s voice, in the morning it was unrecognizable next to his usual drawl, after being quiet too long his voice would be scratchy. It made Harry’s head reel.

Everything about the other seemed to make their flesh begin to crawl, the driving force behind the crawl though, was still unknown.

“Oh, Prongslet! How are you? I feel like I haven't heard your voice in ages! Tell me everything, like who your roommate is and how your classes are. Tell. Us. Everything.”

“Sirius, breathe let him talk. Go ahead Harry, we’re listening.”

“Alright, I guess. You want to hear about my roommate,” Harry started slowly but at the mention of his roommate his words came out faster. “Well let me tell you, I can never focus with him around, he has some of the most annoying tendencies. Ok like his hair, it's unnaturally blonde and he pushes it around every two seconds making it absolutely impossible to do anything. Oh! And his voice, Merlin you guys I don’t know how people do it when he wakes up his voice doesn’t sound normal, hearing him talk like that makes my head reel. Or! When he hasn’t spoken for a little while his voice gets all scratchy. Even. Worse.”

“Oh, wow ok. Harry? Who is this mystery man? I think we need to talk about this a bit more.”

“That’s the thing, Remus! McGonagall put me with Malfoy!”

Both Sirius and Remus thanked Merlin that Harry couldn’t see their faces, both were sitting, mouths wide open trying not to laugh. Sirius decided to speak up, he wanted to help Harry figure this out.

“Wow, McG has not lost her touch. Let me tell ya Moons; she has a way with Potter’s and Evan’s remember your prefect to his head boy stunt? That was good, but I think this might just be better!”

Sirius couldn’t help but think back to his own time at Hogwarts, very similar to Harry’s time.

“Love, let's talk to Harry now then we can reminisce, ok?”

“Yes yes! Of course! You were always the smart one moons! Harry? Are you listening? Good, I think you may have some strong feelings for Malfoy,” Sirius wanted to try and soften the blow a little bit “-L-word feelings.”

Remus shot him a look, it seemed to say ‘Really L-word was the best you could do?’

“You know what Padfoot, I think you’re right!”

Shock radiated off of the older pair, they were not expecting him to agree so quickly, they had just suggested that he loves someone he is convinced he hates. They seemed to have jumped to a conclusion too soon.

“I absolutely loathe him.”

“Prongslet, I don’t think the L-word Sirius was talking about was loathing.” Remus trailed off, he could only do so much to help Harry.

“Well, either way, that's what it is. Loathing….. Right? It has to be. Yes! Ok, wow I feel better.”

The couple only gaped, they had just witnessed Harry flit through three emotions in about three seconds.

“Padfoot?”

“Yes, my moonbeam?”

“Remind me to never let you lead this kind of conversation, ever again.”

“Of course, my moony. I don’t think I would ever let myself either way.”

“Good. Ok, now Harry?”

“Yeah, Remus?”

“Why don’t you keep telling us about Malfoy? I know it must be nice to vent I remember you saying no one else understood because they were all happy with their roommates, so let it out while you can.”

“Moony what are you doing?”

“Just listen ok? I’m trying to help him.”

Their whispers stopped as soon as Harry began again, blissfully unaware of the pair’s internal battle.

“Where was I? Right, everything he does just gets under my skin! Ugh, he, he- I don’t know.”

“Drives you crazy?” Remus supplied helpfully.

“Yes! Remus exactly! How’d you know that?”

“‘Cause I had a very similar experience at Hogwarts, in my 5th year.” He glanced at Sirius wistfully, thinking back to that time, seemed so long ago but still fresh in their minds.

“Well then, who was your Malfoy?”

“Your Godfather.”

He said it so matter of factly as if the statement wouldn’t make Harry’s walls come crashing down around him. The silence loomed on, Remus thought Harry would fill it, eventually, he did, but only briefly.

“How’d you know it was the good kind of crazy?” Compared to a moment ago, Harry seemed subdued, maybe thoughtful. Definitely introspective.

“Oh, um. I guess it was when I realized the only reason his hair bothered me was because I wanted to run my fingers through it, and I wanted to kiss the smug look off of his face every time he teased me instead of wanting to punch him. Oh, and when he woke up saying my name, I never wanted him to stop.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment when Harry broke through the tension by speaking.

“Well, fuck.”

Sirius was so surprised, he couldn’t help but let out a bark of laughter but he quickly covered his mouth. His plan would have worked too, but when he heard Remus start to giggle he could no longer hold it together. Soon the three were all laughing like madmen.

“Wow, now I just feel really dense, like it was so obvious to everyone but me. OH NO! IT WAS SO OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE BUT ME! Shit shit shit! Merlin and Godric! Hermione probably knows! Hell, half of Hogwarts probably knows! McGonagall probably knows! Ah! How will I ever be able to face these people?! You guys! This sucks! OH NO WHAT IF MALFOY KNOWS!?! Ok, now I need help finding a hole to throw myself into!”

“Harry! Calm down, you are acting as if this is your first crush. Wait, is this your first crush?”

“Well yeah! Look, Remus, when a mass murderer is trying to well, Mass Murder you, crushes aren’t really at the top of your priorities! I didn’t have time for crushes!      Well, maybe I had more time than I thought! OH MY GODRIC I basically stalked him in sixth year! This is Bad!”

“Prongslet, calm down! We can help you through this, Moony and I danced around each other at Hogwarts and look at how we ended up!”

“Padfoot, I was not lucky enough to fall in love with my best friend. This would be like Peter falling in love with Snivellus!” The two remaining marauders shuddered, but he did have a point.

“Wait, Harry did you say love?”

“Well yeah. It’s not every day you realize you've had a big ole crush on your archnemesis for half of your life, I think at this point it would be silly to not call it as it is, it's been so long it wouldn’t be right to call it anything but love I guess.” A certain sadness radiated from his voice, he sounded like he had given up on something he never even started.

“Oh Harry, I wish I could wrap you in a hug. Don’t sound so sad though, I can tell with utmost confidence that you Potter’s have a certain knack for making people go from hating you to loving you. I know you’ve heard your parents’ story, asking her out every day, the infamous ‘toerag incident’ but I happen to know another one. You see your grandparents took me in when my family didn’t, gay was the topper of the disappointment cake for old Walburga. Anyway one day your grandmother, Euphemia, sat James and I down to tell us the story of how she and your grandfather got together. It was a long and heartwarming story that started with the two of them a year apart at Hogwarts, severely hating each other due to an unfortunate quidditch mishap. But towards the end you grandfather, Fleamont, walked in and all he said was ‘despite the anger I would give everything up for her, nothing is worth losing her.’ which for him was a lot, he was rich and popular but would have given everything away in a heartbeat if it meant he could be with your grandmother. Look, Harry, you can do this, anyone would be a fool to let you move on without them.”

“Thanks, Padfoot, no one has ever told me that story, maybe I can do this. Hell, I'm more scared to face him than I was to face Voldemort, I think I just need time for him to become Draco, and not Malfoy before I go professing my love, not loathing. I still can’t believe it took me this long.”

The three spent the rest of their call joking and enjoying each other's company. Harry went to bed that night feeling better than he thought he could.

“Pansy! Why did you have to befriend all of the Gryffindors?!”

“Draco, by ‘all the Gryffindors’ do you mean my roommate and the roommates of my two best friends? If you do, then I’m not going to answer your question because its stupid.” Pansy didn’t look up from her nails, she was focused on painting them to perfection.

“Yes, Pansy! I would have been more than happy to ignore my roommate and gotten this year over with quickly, it has been two weeks and they have lasted about a month! Salazar Potter is absolutely the worst!” Draco was walking back and forth, flailing his arms, Pansy seemed disinterested as if she knew what was bound to happen.

“Tell me how awful he is Draco, maybe hearing it out loud will help you realize how mental you are to try and hate the golden boy.” Pansy’s mock encouragement only spurred Draco on.

“Well, first of all, I can’t believe McGonagall would even out us as roommates, it's as if she is asking for a situation! And Potter, ugh I can’t even describe how annoying he is all the time. His mannerisms are so peculiar it's just impossible!”

“So, basically he is a person who has habits. Like everyone.” Pansy deadpanned.

“No! Not like everyone, does everyone rub their face every three seconds? He acts as if someone is flicking him constantly, it's so distracting that, in potions, I put in the wrong ingredient and ruined the brew! And on top of that! He always wears ratty muggle clothes that hang off of him as if it was made for a giant! How am I meant to focus when there is a fashion crisis constantly near me?!”

“Draco, why are you so bothered by him? You aren’t nearly this bothered by Ron and Hermione.”

“You don’t understand what it is like to room with him! Are you even listening to me? His face, his clothing, everything about him! He, he just makes me ugh I don’t even know! My skin starts to crawl when he is close to me!”

“Tell me something Draco, when Harry is around you-”

“I also hate that you and Blaise call him that!”

“Draco, don’t interrupt me! Does Harry make your pulse rush? How about: make you turn red in the face?”

Draco paused mulling over the question.

“You know what, yeah he does! It's awful, it’s as if he's about to attack me! But here’s the worst part! He isn’t about to attack me, which is even weirder.”

“Draco, you know I feel the same way around Hermione, my heart won’t relax and she consumes my focus.”

“Then how can you stand to be around her?!”

Pansy looked aside, her expression showing how done she was with Draco’s impression of the situation.

“Because darling, I don’t hate her. I have a crush on her.”

“How is that similar to Potter and I at all? I absolutely loathe him. And Pansy, you should tell me these things when I'm Not in the middle of a rant.”

“Draco, it is exactly the same, except you are being too dense to realize it! I really don't think you loathe him at all, in fact, I’m pretty sure you have had a crush on him for years!”

As Pansy finished her sentence the pair heard an indistinct yell from down the hall, from the direction of Draco’s room.

“I’m not going to entertain your crazy fantasy, just because I am gay and ranting about a guy doesn’t mean I have a crush on him, someone I dislike! And what is going on over there? Who is yelling, I'm pretty sure Potter is in there on a firecall!”

“Draco this isn’t a gay thing! This is a you and Harry thing! I have listened to you go on and on about him for years, as children I didn’t know any better but now you just sound stubborn and unaware of your own feelings!”

“Pansy, look I don’t like him I barely tolerate him! Right? Of course, he is a menace! Look, you are making me question my own judgment!”

“You should be questioning yourself! At this rate, you are more blind than Harry and his glasses are nearly an inch thick!”

“Pansy! Honestly what makes you think I like him?”

“Look Draco, I'm sure if asked you could tell me the little details of his face, or his normal nighttime schedule, but I ask you the same thing about Blaise, who you roomed with for years, you wouldn’t be able to tell me the first thing about it. And I can see the way you perk up when someone says his name, I just hoped you would come to the conclusion on your own.” The pair sat quietly, only hearing general distress coming from Draco’s dorm but Draco finally spoke up.

“Damn it Pans, why couldn't you have said something sooner? Now I just feel like a hopeless idiot.”

“Well darling, most people don’t need to be made aware of their own feelings. And you are an idiot, not hopeless but an idiot all the same.”

“Does everyone know but me?! No, they can't. We have hated each other for years, no one other than you and maybe Blaise could know, right? Ugh having a crush is stressful, that's why i don’t get them.”

“Draco, you act as if having a crush is like catching a disease.”

“It basically is, like I said, that's why I don't get them.”

“Darling I hate to break it to you,” Pansy’s focus shifted back to her nails “But you do realize that the only reason you don't have crushes is because you have had the same one for years right?”

“Whatever Pansy! You need to help me figure out how to fix this! How am I supposed to room with someone I have a crush on?!”

“The same way you have been since we came back, the only difference is you will be 100% more shirtless at any given opportunity, that should be enough to get his attention!”

“Pansy, we don’t even know if he is gay! I don’t want to embarrass myself, I do have to live with him for the rest of the year!”

“Well i happen to know that he is gay, and Hermione and I are pretty sure he has a crush on you!’

“How could you possibly know that he is gay? And of course, I’ll trust a Gryffindor telling you that Harry Freakin Potter has a crush on me, that doesn’t sound suspicious or anything!”

“Well, Draco unlike you, I actually talk to Harry and he told me himself that he is gay, And please do cut back on the sarcasm, people across the castle can hear it I’m sure.”

“Pansy! Why didn’t you tell me?! Well, not that I would’ve listened before this but either way a casual mention, while we were talking, would have been great!”

“I assumed you knew! Whatever that is beside the point, you need a plan to seduce him!”

“Pansy he hates me, there’s no way I could ‘seduce’ him without getting seriously injured first.”

Some more indistinct yelling came from Draco’s dorm, Draco thought it sounded like Harry, not that he would ever admit to being able to pick his voice out so easily.

“What is that noise? Who is yelling?” Pansy asked she seemed irritated at being interrupted again, no matter how indirect it was.

“Potter is in there on a firecall, probably just excited about something, just ignore him.”

“Draco, how did you manage to get all of that from two yells? He sounds crazy, you can’t even tell what he’s saying!”

“Isn’t it obvious? The yells have been far enough apart that you can tell no one is in distress, we already knew he was on a firecall, presumably with people he enjoys talking to since the year just started and he's already talking to whoever it is, and plus the yell did sound suspiciously like ‘oh my Godric’ something only a true Gryffindor would say. It's simple really”

“Darling none of that was simple, you sound like Sherlock Holmes, it's kind of scary how well you know him.”

“Oh whatever, at least Sherlock is well respected, Doyle was able to make a truly good character for wizards and muggles surprisingly.”

“Can we not talk about ancient wizard authors? We have something much more important on hand!”

“I’m sure Hermione wouldn’t mind discussing wizard authors with you.” Draco shot her a suggestive eyebrow raise and enjoyed the blush that rose to her cheeks. “Oh did you think i had forgotten that I am not the only one with a crush on their roommate?”

“Draco I do not need your help seducing Hermione, I already have a plan and you seem to be getting nowhere with your roommate so I suggest you stop teasing me or else I won't help you with Harry anymore!”

“Alright alright, I'm only kidding, do keep me updated on how everything goes with her, you are still my best friend and I do like to know these things.”

“Yes yes, of course, I will, you know that. Now I think you should just start throwing small hints, maybe sit a little closer to him and start conversations when you two are alone just so we can see how he reacts.”

Draco pondered the information for a moment and nodded his head. “Starting slow sounds good, I don’t necessarily fancy getting myself hexed because I hit on Potter.”

“He said nearly the same thing about getting you out of bed that first morning here, you two really are oblivious when it comes to each other, and you should really call him Harry, be friendly.”

“Calling him anything other than Potter or Scarhead would be weird so unless he asks me specifically to call him by his first name I will stick to Potter.”

“Fine fine, I knew I was pushing it a little, would you call him Harry if he called you Draco?”

“Probably not, unless he asks me to in the same breath as he says my name, I’m going to go with no.”

“Alright fine, I’ll see what I can do.”

The pair sat and talked for a while longer, straying away from their conversation about their respective Gryffindor crushes, they hadn’t been able to talk alone for quite a while, school was already beginning to get tough.

[cockbiteproductions]

all prime numbers in the Misc section and all multiples of 10 in the other sections

we shall go backwards as the question list was posted backwards...... (and also why i rbed it.... why is it backwards? i dont know but i love it. edit: now that ive seen question 1 it looks to me like one of those forum profile copy pastes where you fill out the entire thing and put it in your profile.)

200: My crush’s name is: hmm...... well. i would rather not say!!!! they could see this post!!!!!!! and we do not want that happening.......

190: My 1st job was: lifeguard in the summer after 9th or 10th grade i think? it was decently fun. i grew up swimming competitively so the swimming part was a breeze. the remembering what to do if someone is drowning part? a bit harder. memory bad. what to do if someone has a potential broken spine/head injury when they’re in deep water? i don’t know bud. but it involves 3 whole people to get them out. 2 in the water, one person at all times holding their head in line with the rest of their body, the other one strapping them to the board (these two people in the water switch off, too) and then one person standing on the side of the pool looking very concerned. also don’t tell anyone but sometimes if i had like a 6 am shift i would get really groggy and almost fall asleep on the stand.

180: Marriage is: whatever people make of it but unfortunately bogged down with like a lot of societal expectations. to me it just sounds like hanging with your “best” friend until you die but a lot of other people interpret it differently.

170: What did you do yesterday? LOL wouldn’t it be nice if i remembered. wait no i do remember. i woke up “early” and watched a dnd livestream and struggled through buffering from my shit wifi. then i took a nap. then i had a chipotle burrito that was way too spicy. and i played a lot of minecraft. and i wrote a bit. and i also did like another 2-3 pages of the codecademy html intro course im working on.

160: Soul mates: nope. [taylor mason voice] i don’t believe in the concept of a soul. you are compatible with some people more than others and that’s based on your values and interests and personality. nothing Soul about it. it’s fun in fanfic and fiction though, but that’s because it’s fiction.

150: Blondes or Brunettes: brunettes..... i like brown hair! but blonde is nice too.

140: Mac or PC: clown face emoji. mac. It’s A Unix System. more convenient for me. my current mac is a giant piece of shit though. though i think that’s my own fault for keeping all my old files from my old mac. shoulda started over. i think i might try to get this one factory reset or something.

130: Wal-Mart or Target: idk walmart. i go there a lot during college. walmart just has a larger selection. i used to go to target a lot as a kid though because my mom liked it more. i think it’s like slightly more bougie?

120: Gay Marriage: fuckin go for it pals. sad that it took as long as it did to become legal.

110: My Neighbors: they are nice i think. the ones to the right are teachers or something. the ones to the left are.... idk. their kids were like maybe 5 years older than me and my brother when we were growing up though and sometimes they would indulge in us tiny annoying kids and hang with us

100: Cried in front of someone: when the finale of the clone wars came out a few months ago and i was sobbing and i ran into the living room to tell my roommate and friend that i was sobbing. i was sobbing. i also recorded myself watching the entire eps and i Sure Was Sobbing.

90: Texted: actual sms text, yesterday in response to a friend who texted me a tik tok. instant messaging like 20 minutes ago to milo. i havent responded yet because im answering this and i cant multitask for shit.

89: Who makes you laugh the most: me obviously. i think i’m fucking hilarious. me aside, @redvsblue​ is the funniest person on this planet. also my friend holly irl who shares my incredibly dumb sense of humor. also you!

83: The most difficult thing to do is: hmm........ in general or for me personally? idk..... a lot? i am not a very courageous person. so i guess being brave.

79: First time you had a crush: >:( not appreciating this line of questioning that lines up with the prime numbers/mult of 10. i will not be saying as they ALSO follow me on tumblr. though they don’t use it often. shout out to middle school.......

73: Tomorrow: hopefully wake up around 1 pm at the latest. make a plum smoothie. play some more minecraft and get more netherite (new update slaps). do more coding tutorials. get some writing done. the same ol same ol.

71: Next Summer: hopefully i will have a job lined up for the fall and the pandemic is Over. i would like to just [do nothing] for the last summer Ever before job starts. if i don’t have a job then it’s Job Hunting Time.

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: what the fuck...... like in a bad way? good way? cry of laughter? sadness? me, probably. my own damn brain be like “well it’s time to think about Yourself and be sad!” i know. very narcissistic of me. also dave filoni (director, producer, writer on clone wars).

61: My Car: not really mine. i just use it. beige 201? toyota camery. my brother tried to convince my dad he needed it more than i did last school year. my brother, who lived on campus in boston and flies to school from nc when he goes there, needs the car more than me, who lived off campus and drove to and from school to get back to nc, thinks he needed the car more than me. what a guy.

59: The movie I cried at was: last movie huh......... when was the last time i saw a movie? idk probably the rise of skywalker when leia died. i don’t know. i sure as hell didn’t cry at cats.

53: How do you like your steak cooked: i am vegetarian.

47: Who’s your best friend: @worthyghouls​ i guess. but also concept of “best friend” is so weird. No Best Friends. just lots of people i am good friends with. feels weird to all my other friends to pick One of them and be like “well i like you more than everyone else” :)

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: only in the vaguest vaguest vaguest sense. i would like to graduate with my bs degree. i would like to live in a city (doesn’t have to be a super big one. where im at rn is fine). i would like to have my first or second job i feel comfortable doing related to the degree i am getting. i would like to live in my own apartment (with roommates)/not with my parents. i would like to not be rent burdened. i would like my roommate to know how to take care of a cat or be okay with helping me learn how to take care of one. i would like to have a cat with said roommate. and that’s about it tbh. not very ambitious, i know. i just want a simple life......

41: Have you pre-named your children: bold of you to assume i will have children. no. if i ended up with child it would be like that tag on ao3 called “accidental baby acquisition” and i would name it on the spot.

30: Actress: hmm..... lauren marcus. lauren lopez. does fiona nova count if she’s going to be in rvb zero? also lindsay jones. aubrey plaza. idk. not many actresses i follow from project to project. it’s more i will see them in something and appreciate them in that role immensely. 

20: Holiday: halloween is pretty chill. just getting candy from strangers? dope. scary aesthetic? amazing. i also like christmas just for the sole fact that i get time off from [life].

10: Restaurant: a favorite restaurant??? who has one of those???? i sure don’t. and i’m not gonna say something cringey like olive garden or mcdonalds. i simply do not have one.

[serendipitous-magic]

I know u don’t like s3 but thoughts on robin?

In short:

1) I like her as a character. She’s intelligent and hilarious and has a good fashion sense and has a very strong and memorable personality. And, honestly? I liked her dynamic with Steve. “Pure of heart, dumb of ass + lesbian” is a wonderful dynamic. Plus she’s beautiful! And brave! She’s probably one of the best characters in S3. HOWEVER, I’ll come back to that in a minute.

2) Listen, I say this as a big ol’ lesbian myself: I didn’t like her coming out scene. It felt... tacked-on. Not only that, but it felt almost like it replaced Will’s character development. I mean, Will basically became a non-person halfway through S3. He just... turned into a prop that occasionally touched his neck and said “he’s here.” And apparently Robin was originally scripted to have a crush on Steve, and then Maya Hawke was like “I think it would be more interesting if she was a lesbian.” And that’s great! I love love love that Maya Hawke wanted to shake up the “girl has a crush on boy, blah blah blah” trope and go for some gay rep. Love her for that! 

However. The fact that the “It’s not my fault you don’t like girls” is literally never addressed again (and what sloppy fucking storytelling, I mean... Compare that to how tightly-knit the emotional beats of S2 were and how they tied everything together. UGH.), that Will becomes a prop halfway through the season, and that Robin’s coming out scene honestly feels very tacked-on in the scheme of the rest of the season... It, to me, feels a lot like the show creators were like “Okay, there! One Queer (TM) is enough, right? No need for any more of that. We did it! We did Representation!! We’re bastions of Gay Rights (TM), right guys? Right? Don’t The Gays (TM) love us now????”

Sigh.

3) Remember how I was saying she’s probably one of the best characters in S3? Well, here’s my beef with that, and with the introduction of her character: SEASON 3 TRIED TO JUGGLE WAY TOO MANY CHARACTERS. S2 already had a big cast, but they were well-balanced and well written. As I’ve harped on about many times before, S3 was full to the brim with paper-thin caricatures that didn’t even really feel like shallow versions of the “original characters” sometimes. They just felt like paper dolls built from stereotypes. The cop bumbles around and yells at people. The teenage boys belch and try to “buy back” their girlfriends’ affections. The teenage girls are ~Sassy~ and like fashion. The male coworkers are misogynists. Etc., etc. 

Robin was one of the most real and well-rounded characters in S3. And that’s a problem. Why? Because it felt very much like they sacrificed the characterization of all the characters we already knew and loved just so that they could focus a lot on the new characters.

Now, that’s not to say there was no way for them to have Robin in there while also making the rest of the characters well-written. They absolutely could have, they just didn’t. I don’t think Erica was necessary at all, and I don’t think Alexi or whatever the fuck his name was was necessary, or Murray, or the Russian terminator guy, or the Russians in general. They all just muddied the waters and didn’t even really tie in to the other plots at all. Like? Why were they there. There was no reason for it. But, Robin? I liked that Robin was there. I just don’t think she would have come out to a coworker (even if they had just undergone an interrogation together), I think that the focus on new characters (like her) exacerbated the issues of abominable characterization, and I think that the show-creators’ decision to include her coming-out scene may have “replaced” Will’s “queer arc.” 

So, yeah. 

I like her as a character. But the way that they included and used her character in the season was about as bad as the rest of the season.

[johnlockfeelz]

Encounters

Okay so this is my first attempt at writing a one shot, and posting it. I’m only posting it cause my friend @realrandomposts told me I should. Sorry in advance for this cringe fest you’re bout to go on!

Stiles Stilinksi knew he was gay when he was fifteen years old. Fawning over the most popular girl in school, before suddenly finding himself VERY interested in one of the lacrosse players put that into perspective rather quickly. He and his best friend Scott talked things out and came to the conclusion that Lydia was merely a crush, not even a serious one at that, whereas his crush on Danny was extremely persistent and serious.

Being gay wasn’t that hard for Stiles. Despite living in a small town, everyone was surprisingly supportive of his sexuality, especially the people that truly mattered to him, like his father and friends (Danny not so much, but only because he got annoyed with Stiles’ terrible attempts to flirt with him pretty quickly.)

Stiles worked in the local Clifton’s, which was basically Beacon Hills’ version of a Walmart, albeit a little smaller. Still had the same functions however. Stiles himself worked in the Apparel department, a department usually designated for females but Stiles supposes to the managers, a gay male is basically the same thing. Assholes.

Stiles was actually having an okay shift that day, for once. No customers being rude, not being overloaded on returns from the customer service desk, that he had to retag and fold and put back in its place.

The day went south, when he saw him. Coming in early that afternoon to start his shift, he’d just clocked in and was headed to the swinging double doors that led out to merchandise floor when what Stiles could only deduce was a god walked by him. The man had to be at least 6”2’, and a wall of pure muscle, topped with short, gorgeous dark black hair that Stiles instantly wanted to run his fingers through.

He was on his phone as he passed Stiles, so he didn’t see his eye color, but man did Stiles want to suddenly know everything about this guy. Of course, he wouldn’t though. You see Stiles is a very awkward twenty year old young man, he never grew out of that phase in his teenage years, so if Stiles found someone attractive, he made sure that said person would NEVER hear from him so that he couldn’t embarrass himself in front of them.

His method, however sad and pitiful, was working well for him until about an hour before the end of his shift that night.

Every other Apparel associate, including one of his best friends Lydia, had already left for the night. He was the only one that was scheduled to 11pm that night. He was in the women’s athletics department, fixing a rack of sports shorts, when he saw a shadow out of his left peripheral. He looked up just in case it was a customer that he had to smile politely at, and made direct eye contact with the god from the back room this afternoon. Now meeting his eyes, Stiles could see that they were a hypnotic chocolate brown that Stiles felt he could just drown in.

Upon realizing that he’d actually looked into the most attractive person he’s ever seen eyes, Stiles’ instantly widened and dropped back down to the rack he was working on, barely scraping his view across the name tag on the man’s chest that read ‘Derek’, before he fixed one last hanger and instantly flew back to the fitting room to finish cleaning the rooms, not noticing how Derek’s eyes stayed on Stiles’ figure until he disappeared around the corner.

Any day Stiles worked following that mishap, he made absolutely sure that Derek was no where to be found. He didn’t want to accidentally see him again and end up embarrassing himself in front of that beautiful man by being his awkward self, as that’s all Stiles knows how to do.

Lydia thought the situation was hilarious. “Stiles, it’s just a guy! You don’t have to avoid him like the plague.” Lydia laughed two weeks later, as she leaned against the fitting room stall, staring at Stiles on the other side as he put the phone he’d just answered back in this cradle.

“You don’t understand, Lydia!” Stiles moaned, resting his head in his hands. “I made eye contact with him! DIRECT eye contact! It should be obvious why I can never let him see me again.”

“But it’s not.” Lydia shrugged. “So what? You looked a hot guy in the eyes, it’s not like you murdered his family.”

“That’s precisely why I can’t ever let him see me again. I looked him in the eyes. A man like that, you don’t just MEET his eyes without permission. You just don’t, Lydia! He’s godly, you don’t look gods in the face and get away with it! What if he’s offended now?”

Lydia rolled her eyes, fiddling with her name badge. “Honestly Stiles, you’re thinking too much into it. You’re blowing things out of proportion.”

“Maybe I am.” Stiles responded. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop avoiding him. It’s not that hard, either. I only see him like three times a week. He’s a fresh CAP2 associate, I never deal with CAP associates.”

“Whatever.” She shook her head. “I’m headed back to the men’s basics. Jennifer wants that entire section zoned and the deeper I go into it the more I want to kill myself.”

“Wait, real quick!” Stiles called out after her, pulling the fitting room keys off his forearm and the walkie talkie out of his back pocket. “It’s time for my break, can you watch fitting room until. I get back?”

Lydia held her hand out, catching the keys as he tossed them to her, instructing him to leave the walkie in the fitting room stall.

Stiles pulled his phone out the minute he got to the break room, sitting down at an empty table. He didn’t notice the tall dark and handsome guy he’d been avoiding for weeks sitting at a table a few feet away, with a dark haired beauty right beside him. The girl followed Derek’s gaze to the brown haired little twink looking boy playing on his phone. The woman met Derek’s eyes before she motioned for him to leave, getting up and walking to Stiles’ table, plopping herself down beside him.

Stiles started as someone randomly sat down with him. He usually sat by himself, as the only person who worked at Clifton’s that he actually spoke to was Lydia, and they rarely had breaks or lunch together.

“Hi.” The woman smiled at him, making him a little uneasy. This was a woman who looked like she could easily snap his neck with one hand, and laugh as she did it. In short, she looked dangerous. “I’m Cora.”

“Nice to meet you.” Stiles said politely, setting his phone down. It’s rude to talk to someone while you’re on your phone. “My name’s Stiles.”

“Weird name.” Cora replied, popping a bubblegum bubble in his face.”

“Not as weird as my actual name. Stiles in a nickname.” he shrugged.

“Wanna be friends?” Cora asked, glancing over his shoulder as Derek slowly made his way out of the break room, stopping only to glance at the two of them curiously, trying to figure out what the hell Cora was planning.

“I mean, I doubt you’d wanna be friends with little ole me but I guess I can’t tell you no. You look like the type that wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

Cora smiled that sickly sweet, deadly (at least in Stiles’ opinion) smile again. “No, no I don’t.” she chuckled.

And that was how Stiles found most of his shifts passing by after that. Cora seemed to hunt Stiles down, just to talk to him and learn more about him. He learned more about her too. He found out her last name is Hale, and she was twenty-two years old. She was from a very large family, including a sister and a brother. She worked in the pharmacy department, but was friends with a lot of CAP2 associates and spent most of her time with them.

She learned everything there was to know about Stiles. His family and friends, his age, his history, and (most importantly to her plan), his sexuality.

“You’re gay?” Cora asked about three weeks after introducing herself to him. They were both coming back from lunch, and were headed into the back room to clock in.

“Well, yeah. I figured that was obvious. Most everyone can tell just from looking at me.” he replied, gesturing to his skinny, pale body covered in freckles. Cora smiles a secretive smile. Oh this is going perfectly well.

“How long have you known you’re gay?” she asked, leading the way past the double doors.

“Since I was-“ Stiles’ eyes widened, and he instantly ducked around the corner to the stock room, dragging Cora with him.

“Shit! What the fuck Stiles!” Cora hissed. Stiles shushed her, peeking around the corner to make sure Derek was out of sight.

“I’ve been avoiding this guy that works in Fresh CAP2 for like a month now, I’ve gotta make sure he doesn’t see me.” Stiles explained as he made sure the coast was clear and came out of his hiding spot.

“Fresh CAP....” she muttered, her eyes widening as she theorized, “Is his name Derek, by chance?”

Stiles side-eyed her as he swiped his name badge and hit the clock in button. “Yeah, you know him? Super tall, always looks broody, godly-looks.” Stiles sighed wistfully. “God, what I wouldn’t give to be his bottom.”

Cora wrinkled her nose up in disgust at his last comment, before clocking in herself. She didn’t need to know about Stiles’ fantasies about her brother. Not that he KNEW that was her brother, of course, but she still didn’t wanna hear about it.

“Wait wait wait.” What Stiles had said suddenly clicked in her brain. “If you have a crush on him, WHY are you avoiding him?”

Stiles scoffed. “I do not have a crush on him. I just think he’s very attractive. And domineering. And heaven sent. And-“ Stiles caught the look she was giving him and threw his hands up in defeat. “Okay so maybe I have a little crush on him. It’s very little though! But like, a month ago, I made eye contact with him and I’ve made sure to avoid him seeing me since.”

Cora didn’t bother to hide her confusion. “Why would you avoid him just because you guys made eye contact?” She didn’t understand honestly. What was the big deal?

Stiles bit his lip. “You see....I am a very awkward person, I’m sure you’ve discovered this by now. And I’m not really a very popular person either, or liked honestly.” Stiles bent his head down in shame. “What I’m trying to say is, I’m not worthy of his attention. Not like someone that looks like THAT would ever be interested in someone that looks like me. I know I’m extremely plain-looking. I just don’t want to get hurt by trying to talk to him, or anything and risk embarrassing myself in front of him. And I’m sure he doesn’t want some annoying ass kid bothering him either. I know I’m a bother, everyone tells me that often. I just don’t want HIM to hate me for bothering him, you know?”

If Cora wasn’t such a heartless person, she’d be heartbroken listening to Stiles rant about his worthlessness and being undeserving of an attractive person’s attention. Did he not know that Derek was crazy about him, and has been hurting for quite a bit of time, because of Stiles’ avoidance of him? Derek has ranted and raved to Cora more than once about the cute little apparel associate that stole his heart and has run like a bat out of hell at the sight of him since.

That was why she had befriended Stiles in the first place. She was determined to get to the bottom of Stiles’ apparent hate of her brother, because it hurt her to see her brother so sad over his crush hating him and wanting nothing to do with him.

“And what would you do, if that wasn’t the case?” Cora asked carefully. “What if he was interested in you?”

Stiles laughed humorlessly. “Yeah, right Cora. That’s never going to happen. And I’ve got to get back to the fitting room. I’ll see you tonight, yeah?”

She nodded in response, watching as the object of Derek’s affection jogged away so as not to get yelled at about being late by his friend Lydia.

That boy sure has a lot of self-deprecation. She thought to herself as she walked out to the produce section in search of her older brother. Maybe a nice loving boyfriend can help fix that. Once I fix this situation they’re in.

Later that night, his shift coming to a close, Stiles was almost done cleaning out the fitting rooms and locking the doors when he heard a throat clearing from the associate’s stall. “Give me just a sec, and I’ll be right with you!” He called over his shoulder, sweeping the dust off the floor into the dustpan and dumping it. He wiped his hands on his pants before turning to face the front of the stalls, ready to assist what he assumed was a customer.

His mouth went dry as he came face to face with the man he’d been avoiding for over a month. “Oh! Hi there. I-I think I hear someone calling my name so im just gonna go that way and never grace your sightagainokaybye!” Stiles spluttered, turning and getting ready to run from this situation of his own making.

“Wait!” Derek called out quickly, skirting around the stall and grabbing Stiles’ wrist before the younger man could get too far. “Why are you avoiding me.”

Stiles froze, so not ready for the Adonis to actually speak to him, let alone confront him about him dodging him. Maybe he doesn’t like being ignored? Yeah that’s gotta be it, he doesn’t like being ignored, therefore Stiles offended him.

“Ah, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you! I just didn’t think you’d want me to be anywhere near you after what I did.” he explained softly, trying to make his self seem as little as possible so as not to set Derek off and possibly make him even more upset.

Derek nearly growled in frustration, running a hand through his short hair. “What you did-Stiles, all you did was look at me! That doesn’t warrant suddenly treating me like I have contagious disease or something.”

Stiles blinked at him owlishly. “How do you know my name?” He wondered aloud. Derek sucked in a breath, almost lying and telling him he read his name badge, before hesitantly deciding to tell the truth. Might as well get the truth out there first.

“Cora.” he confessed.

“Cora?” Stiles echoed. “Has Cora been talking about me? I swear whatever she says isn’t true!”

Derek chuckled, slightly loosening his grip on Stiles’ wrist. “Cora’s my sister, Stiles. She’s heard me talking about the adorable Fitting Room Associate that seemingly hates me, and she took it into her own hands to find out why my crush was acting like I was gum on the bottom of his shoe.”

“Wait, wait, wait. Your crush?” Stiles questioned.

Derek smiles shyly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yes, my crush. I’ve been trying to work up the courage to talk to you for a while now, but then out of nowhere you just started avoiding me. It hurt, you know. And Cora, she’s helpful when she wants to be. So she made it her personal goal to get you to talk to me. She just told me today, why you’ve been doing it. And I wanted to tell you, you don’t have to. I’m not mad, I’m not upset, nothing. I just really want to get to know you better, and possibly have a relationship with you. I really like you Stiles, and I want a shot with you.”

Stiles felt his heart clench in his chest at the thought of his sadness. He didn’t know that he was hurting Derek the more he avoided him. That thought had never crossed his mind.

He slowly reached out and laid his hand on Derek’s that was still holding his arm. “I’m sorry Derek, I didn’t know you actually knew who I was, let alone enough for me to upset you by avoiding you. How can I make it up to you?”

The older man’s whole being seemed to glow with happiness at Stiles’ words. “How about this Friday, if we’re both off, we go to Rudy’s?” Derek asked, his tone very audibly hopeful.

Stiles’ own smile widened at seeing Derek so happy. “It’s a date.” he said slyly, meeting Derek’s beautiful brown eyes.

Looks like Stiles had his very first date coming up soon. And with a hot guy no less. He couldn’t wait to tell Lydia about this.