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superhero--imagines · 2 years

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Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! /Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! /Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here ! / Part 17 Here! / Part 18 Here! / Part 19 Here! / Part 20 here! / Part 21 Here! / Part 22 Here! / Part 23 Here! <This is Part 24!>

And a reminder that my book interest check is still open to run a campaign for the physical version of waking up in pjo, please make sure answer it if you're interested!

A/N :Okay, I think you've been waiting for this one! Hopefully it’ll take my mind of the fact that we were all simping for a person that takes the cringeat nudes

* This is bad

* This is really, really bad

* You watch Ares — Kronos now— in full possession of his body, two inky black voids staring back at you, mouth quirked up in a sadistic grin.

* Your hand tightens around your scepter, eyes flicking to Annabeth, Percy and Grover

* ‘Right now the priority is protecting the children.’

* You tap the ground twice, concentrating on space and time itself wrapping around you ementating a force field, you watch the familiar purple hue begin to take shape, electricity whirring, but before it can reach its crescendo, Kronos waves it’s hand and immediately the field disappears.

* ‘What?’

* “You dare use my own powers against me child?”

* Of course, Kronos was the titan of space and time, your powers won’t work on him.

* And your despair…is nothing compared to what he’s endured, to be cut into tiny pieces at the hands of your own children.

* ‘Hades.’

* But before you can kneel you’re pushed into the ocean, off of your home turf, and ankle deep into unfamiliar land.

* “And there will be no hitting the ground thrice, this is between you and I godling.” He hisses, roaming over you with a keen eye. “You’re just a godling, but I can smell it—the powers of fertility course through your veins.” He licks his lip, as if he’s already imagining devouring you whole.

* ‘What can I do in this situation? Annabeth? No, she’s only got that knife, Grover? No, he only has tin cans and they’re all gone anyway, Percy—‘

* Yes, Percy is the right option. He has a good weapon, and he’s talented too, the sea is his home turf and in the original he beat Ares.

* ‘But even so he’s no match for Kronos.’

* He’s only a twelve year old boy, he needs more time to develop into a hero.

* ‘But I can give him power.’

* A fertility god can grant someone the right to tap into their power, a near limitless supply. You could give that to Percy-

* “Why should you sacrifice yourself for someone else?” A voice whispers in your ear, snapping you out of your thoughts.

* Goosebumps rise down your spine and along your arms.

* “And why should you run from battle?” Another voice calls, you recognize this voice.

* ‘It’s Persephone's voice.’

* “Look at him child, look how he trembles. He needs you, to stay in that body, he’s still not strong enough to inhabit a god’s body while his soul is in Tartarus.” She whispers.

* And sure enough, Kronos is heaving, he has a cocky expression on his face, but you can see the strain across his face.

* ‘He can’t keep this up for much longer.’

* “Descendant of the gods, close your eyes and borrow our power.”

* ‘Well I’m screwed either way.’

* You close your eyes, and for a moment there’s total darkness, and then all at once four eyes open in front of you.

* Green. Purple. Gold. Pink. And Red.

* Staring at you as if appraising you on a pedestal, and then there’s a sound.

* It feels like the howl of wind, the sound of a box unlocking, and the sound of a bird chirping.

* You open your eyes, your body encased in a blue sheen.

* “Aren’t you tired of bending to the will of the gods little godling?”

* ‘I’m tired of you disrupting my sleep for three years.’

* You feel flowers grow out of your skin, encasing your arm, but it doesn’t hurt.

* “Don’t you want your revenge—“

* You raise your hand, the ground beneath him automatically raising as well, as large as any cliff.

* “—you could join me—“

* ‘First he was going to swallow me whole, and now it’s that I can join him huh?’

* You swipe your hand to the side, opening dozens of portals, a bright blue light leaves your scepter traveling through the portals and striking Kronos.

* “—we could rule Olympus together—‘

* ‘The jerk is still talking.’

* You twirl your scepter, transforming it into a bow and arrow.

* “—you will regret this!”

* “Shut the hell up!” The words leave your mouth like a siren’s screech, ichor curling out of his ear as he winces.

* You aim your arrow for his heart and shoot.

* The arrow becomes engulfed in blue light, like a blazing inferno, like—

* ‘It looks like hell fire.’

* There’s a scream and you avert your eyes as Kronos reveals his true form, when he’s gone Ares is left behind.

* Simultaneously whatever power you felt rush into your veins is now gone, leaving a very sore, fourteen year old behind.

* You wade through the water, holding a bleeding and fatigued Ares in your arms.

* “Wh-where am I?” A cough rips through him and you shush him.

* “It’s fine, I’m here now.” Golden light emanates from your hands, and you watch his wounds begin to close.

* “Well who would have thought.” He mumbles to himself.

* “So are you free later tonight?”

* “I’m fourteen you freak.” He gives you a toothy grin.

* “Give me a call in ten years then?”

* Before you can ask if he can get the hell out of here and to Olympus he’s gone in a crack of thunder. Disintegrated to dust before reorganizing into golden light.

* That looks familiar.

* You turn to them, to the two shocked children and the satyr who are staring at you with slack jaws.

* They want answers.

* ‘Well damn, me too. What the hell was that?’

* Before you can organize a single thought, you’re surrounded by policeman.

* ‘Well shit.’

A/N: And that was the soft end of the second arc, I hope you guys liked it! There's a few more parts until the hard end, and I think I have a few more spots on the tag list for anyone interested!

And a reminder that my book interest check is still open to run a campaign for the physical version of waking up in pjo, please make sure answer it if you're interested!

Tag list :

@holybatflapexpert @atomicsoph @fadingunknowncoffee @hopeworldsupremacy @padsfirewhisky @magical-dreamland @kookiedesi @kiritokunuwu @bleepmorp @flickeringlizard @luckyzipperscissorsbat @jessiegerl @undecided-as-always @officiallydarkgeek

@marsbars09 @yizhoutv @alicesolengg @luxaryllis-primaryacc @time-shardz @cryinghotmess @crow-with-a-hoodie @the-nerdy-fangirl @crackedpumpkin @geekyandgay98

@lazydreamers @agentsofblinks @justsomestuffiguessman @elodietea @mxacegrey @angelic-simp @astrial @babypink224221 @weaponb33 @redactedhimbo @heart-charming @psychomanias @aliinunderland

@karnellius @lunavixia @cerberus-the-cutie @bes2005 @girlcrafter408 @loser-keiji

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fairyhaos · 4 days

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about the whole children on the internet thing…

i joined twitter when i was 12 (i obviously lied abt my age) and i talked with people who were double my age. at the time i thought it was normal and i felt cool for having older friends, but looking back on it now, it couldve been a really traumatizing experience. i’m grateful that all the older people i met online were kind people but i could’ve been less fortunate and met someone who was a pdf or anything else that’s remotely disgusting and illegal

i’m a huge advocate for kids staying off the internet for as long as they can. our generation was a bit different because it wasn’t everyone who was given unlimited access to the internet—it was a handful of people since the internet was still developing and growing at a rapid pace. (i’m also 20)

it’s different now though, with this current generation. 10 year olds are making tiktok’s during lunch breaks and filming youtube vlogs and no one bats an eye. there are second graders on social media and no one seems to care. i think it’s one thing for a child to be interacting with strangers online who are significantly older, but it’s another thing for children being online because they are making the conscious choice to be online rather having physical, irl interactions.

and anon, i completely understand your pov as well. i struggled to make friends and found solace with the people i met online, especially during covid, and i understand there are other people who are in similar situations. however, i think i can confidently say that that’s not the case for the majority of today’s children. they actively choose and decide to not make real friends because the internet “seems more fun”. they’re at an age where having real and genuine social interactions and relationships are supposed to help develop and assist their cognitive development, but if they continue to interact with people through a screen, it can stunt that.

IM SO SORRY THE RANT GOT SO LONG

to be completely honest, i was too terrified to join online spaces until i was like. 15 bc the ideas of "stranger danger" and "no one is who they say they are online" were drilled into my head so hard that i didn't touch social media until that age.

stories of lying old men or stalkers sound so surreal when you don't experience it yourself, but it really is a very real and very scary thing, which is why i agree w u anon ab advocating for young people to stay offline as much as possible until they are a) mature enough to make decisions or b) have people they know first online.

and yes you're so right that the internet has changed so much. like, even when i was young i was experiencing exactly what you did, but now... everyone has an online presence. the openness is terrifying and so uncomfortable for me bc i hate that it's becoming normalised, like you said, and literal pre-teens are talking to, well, adults. online. without having ever met them in person. not only is that so dangerous, it also gives them a warped idea of the world, having only experienced it thru a screen and thru other people's opinions. which will never make up for a real, personal experience of the world.

of course, you can't control what people do, but all i say is that they do NOT talk to me. if i can maybe encourage young teens to find someone irl to talk to (instead of choosing to interact with adults on the internet), then maybe ill feel a little bit better. being chronically online is NOT cool, and never will be.

#fairyhaos.answers #lovely anon <3 #dont worry about the rant omg i really liked reading it!!!!!!!!#not like. enjoyed it. but i appreciate u sharing your views!#i totally agree that online spaces have changed so much in the past few years #and that part about teens literally choosing to be online rather than talking to people they know? SO VALID #and rhe idea of the internet beingba safe space is a bit of a mystery to ke bc like.#ofc i totally understand some people just didnt have the option to talk to people irl #but you prefer being on the INTERNET??? where peiple have wrong opinions and are complete bigots??????#you know whats a good thing to do instead. read books. im so serious that eas all i did when i was 12

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bunnidid-reviews · 1 year

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DID Book Review

Facts -

Book Title: Both of Me by Jonathan Friesen

Publication date: 2014

Fiction or Nonfiction: Fiction

Was there a diagnosis of DID? Yes

Was the person with DID presented as evil for having DID? Yes, in the twist ending

Major Trigger warning list:

Ableism all throughout (a lot of infantilism and the autistic savant trope, as well as generally written in a dehumanizing way)

Incarceration

Infant and parental death

Threatening with a gun

Plane crashing in the twist ending

Neglect

Physical abuse played off as a joke(? ‘she smacked him upside the head/across the face’)

Attempted sexual assault played off as romantic (Making out with the hesitant Elias, it’s written very vaguely and confusingly but I came away feeling like he couldn’t fully consent even if he wanted it)

Forced integration/forcing him to face his memories to integrate

Kidnapping? (In general it doesn’t seem like Elias has the ability to consent to most things despite being 19. His general confusion triggered my childhood..something sorta like kidnapping experiences so I’m adding this)

Sneaky Christian Messages (main character starts praying to God)

Subjective Review(this is how I felt about it) -

Personal triggering scale from 1 to 10 (1 being not triggering at all, 10 being a badly overwhelming experience that might cause personal harm): 5. It’s not explicit in any way but there were many points I just needed to put this down

Personal relatability scale from 1 to 10 (1 being unrelatable, 10 being OMG THAT’S ME!): 2

Personal avoidance scale from 1 to 10(1 being eager to get on with it, 10 being impossible to finish): 7

My interpretation of the media(Includes spoilers):

I think this book is garbage, let me tell you why.

The story follows our main character Clara, who after her mother’s death and her turning 18, fled her home in London to live an untethered life of travel. She left being Teeter and Marna(yes, those are their names) to live with their father, who had been incarcerated for the past ten years over an Incident that it only ever vaguely mentioned, and many times.

Clara is a stuck-up bitch. She’s written as if these are attractive and heroic traits, that she looks down on the people around her so much that she assigns them numbers instead of names, gets her fill of them, and flees to the next country. She’s evidently taken hundreds of trips around the world in the past year, funded entirely by scamming people into thinking they’re paying a charity to support the travels of other children of incarcerated parents. Not exactly a lie, but I found her scamming and making literally thousands like this to be disgusting. There’s only one person she ever trusts with the truth, and that’s her online friend, FFA

She’s going to New York.. Or Minneapolis. Actually I believe she’s on a flight from New York to Minneapolis when she meets Elias, an 18-19(?) year old boy who’s seated next to her in-flight. He’s handsome, but seems.. Off in a way. He’s huddled against the window sketching away, and she measures him up to be Dangerous To Her Personally because he seems.. Interesting. Someone she might be tangled with. Especially as he sketches away at a scene that must’ve been her own trauma.

After pestering him all flight, they part ways and he accidentally takes her identical-to-his bag. Clara has to track him down in Minneapolis(I believe) to retrieve it.

Elias lives in a big boarding house with his overprotective but also negligent mother, as well as a quirky cast of various old people who live there. The Elias Clara meets here is distinctly different from the Elias she met on the plane.. He’s.. Neurotypical and Nice.

She stays overnight and overhears the Quirky Cast Of Old People gambling on time to spend in Salem, Elias’ inner world. The way they do this I’m assuming is to trigger out the Savant Elias who talks about his Inner World while they hang out? Apparently, everyone can live their dream-lives there, like a couple who’s only married in Salem, or a couple of artists who are renowned in Salem. They’re explicitly using his DID for their own selfish reasons, and they’ve justified it with Well Everyones Happier In Salem! So they try to keep him in this ‘sick state’, trapped by his inability to care for himself in ways an adult should be able to(driving, being able to read, ect. Elias’ life doesn’t pass the burrito test)

To her credit, Clara thinks this is pretty fucked up and confronts Elias about it with a plan to force integration so he won’t have DID, and then no one can use him for Salem anymore. So she steals him away into the night after some weird exposition of… travelling into an active war zone and running into someone with leprosy…? (Forgive me, none of this makes any sense so it’s hard to remember.)

But she too has her own secret uses for Jason(This is the other side of Elias, he chose the name Jason. Even if Clara outright refuses to call him by his name, I will) She has to know how he Knows about the Terrible Thing She Did. Maybe she can force the truth out of him as well as force him to face all the trauma that split him in the first place. Even if Real Elias doesn’t seem entirely onboard, Jason declares Clara to be his guide, Clarita, and off they go.

Hijinks ensue. They have a big fight at a frat party. Clara forces her friend to sell her car to her with all the tens of thousands of dollars she scraped up with ‘charity’. They buy an airplane…? They go to all the towns named Salem. Clara has a moment of Clara-ty when FFA texts her to let her know that her siblings are ill and she needs to come home. She panics about being a bad person and using Elias and abandoning her family, and feels better about everything because she.. Slept in an old prison cell by choice. She makes up with Elias for abandoning him and urges him to get off his DID medication.

The next morning, Clara wakes up to find a gun to her head. It’s a girl named Izzy, who forces her way into their journey by threat. She’s going East like the rest of them. So theyyyy goooooo onnnn

They split up for a bit then come back together. It turns out all along FFA was her father! Clara has another spiral and lays in the road and I guess passes out. Izzy, who had taken the car (hooked up with the plane) came back for them and theyyy wentttt onnn theirrr way

Izzy comes to know Elias and actually doesn’t think of Jason as sub-human. She listens to all the heavy symbolism and substitute beliefs Jason has with Salem (They must stop the evil Lightkeeper to save the Queen and all of Salem) She offers her own input to help the journey along and speaks to him on the same level, compared to Clara, who’s been scoffing and making quips about how insane all this has been the whole time. It seems like Izzy really cares about both Elias and Jason compared to Clara(thE LOVE INTEREST), and she literally broke into all this by force and seemingly without a care for human life.

As they pull into the next Salem, the group decides to stay in a newly-bought house under the guise of all being siblings and moving in early for their father, in an attempt to fool the kind neighbors who let them in. I don’t really know why they made this up if they’re all adults anyway and had multiple chances to come clean about who they were, but they stuck to the sibling story, even when…

Clara lead “Her Elias(Real Elias)” upstairs to start making out with him. He.. Doesn’t seem like he wants to, is very polite and hesitant, and rather confused by the state of things. Even so, Clara… Pulls him into it…? It’s very vague and it doesn’t seem romantic to me in the least. Theres some entitlement from her because she ‘puts up with’ Jason and is endlessly thirsty for ~Her Elias~. They’re interrupted anyway by the neighbor coming upstairs and demanding what the fuck!! To which Clara says:

“But you don’t understand. He doesn’t even know what’s going on half the time. If he was normal, maybe, fine make your judgements, but he’s not. He’s no protector. He’s vulnerable.”

O_o Clara what the fuck, if that’s what you believe then what the fuck????

Elias is rightfully hurt!! So he switches out with Jason. For some reason, the neighbor trusts Clara of all people to ‘handle’ their own autistic son because… she… Deals.. With Elias. And they consider him a lost cause.

Lo and behold, the son is actually also a genius and was only Pretending to be disabled to hide the project he’s been working on: Digging through the old slave escape tunnels underneath the whole of Salem. The trio make their getaway and leave the son behind. Clara gives him a kiss and is offended that he doesn’t really like it as much as he likes Izzy

Following Izzy’s Greek myth analogy she shared to understand Jason’s POV, they end up going to an artists’ commune and staying there for an amount of time. Elias is avoidant of Clara and he surrounds himself with people who actually like him, along with Izzy. In a fit of jealousy, Clara goes up the mountain to pray each night because she comes to…realize…God…. No, ‘Ungod’, because she doesn’t believe in God, but this is still published by Blink, a Christian publisher, so they had to shoehorn in the obligatory turning to God makes everything right trope, even if the only thing she changes is just.. being away from Elias for a little bit.

During the time at the commune, Elias fixed the plane they were hauling around this whole time. As a reward for leaving him the fuck alone for a while, Clara gets to have a nice friendly moment where they fly the plane together. Izzy decides being at the commune is what’s doing her a lot of good, so she’s going to stay behind as Elias and Clara set off once again.

They go to the last Salem, which is in Maine. At some point along their journey, they figure out that the Lightkeeper’s tower they’re looking for is the substitute belief version of a certain lighthouse. The root of all the trauma happened there. As they grow nearer, both Elias and Jason are growing apprehensive. And Clara is pushing ahead harder than ever because she wants to be done with this all.

They have a spat. They pour soup on eachother and split up. It’s kind of a running theme that Clara often abandons Elias to go have her huffs, and they’re always justified. She figures hes helpless and can’t really leave where she puts him anyway, so she goes off with a strange man to this certain lighthouse

The man’s name is Salt, a lobster fisher of course(It’s Maine after all), who takes her to another lobster fisher named Atticus. It turns out that man knew Elias’ father, the root of all trauma.

Elias and his father would go to this lighthouse to watch the stars when he was young. The lighthouse was surrounded by steep, rigid rock, so it was difficult to get out there safely. Elias adored his father. Once night, when Atticus dropped him off at the lighthouse, the father and a strange woman emerged from the lighthouse, in attempt to hide their shame: the father was cheating on Elias’ mother. Clearly upset, Elias tried to flee from his father, shoving him off the edge, where he fell and cracked his skull, dying. Elias had killed his father, and that’s when he split.

That’s when Clara went oh my god, this whole time.. those sketches!! They were about ELIAS’ TRAUMA and not her own.

Clara’s secret trauma is that she had a baby brother with down syndrome. On the way home from a hospital visit, it was icy and snowy out. Clara was supposed to take her baby brother in, but he got dropped, cracked his head open also, and died. Then police came and arrested the father for this, and all this time Clara kept the truth a secret, keeping her father in prison for the past decade. And from then on, Clara was different too… Ableist 😔

Having discovered his trauma for him, Clara rushed back to find Elias. He’s understandably hurt because he’s facing all these memories and getting abandoned in a strange-but-familiar-place over and over again. But she shuts him up and tells him all about her own trauma, using it to force Elias to reconcile with his.

But Jason.. He already knew. And revealed that the death of his father was on purpose, and he came here to seek revenge and kill the woman who caused all this.(Which is kinda implied to be like a mermaid or something because she was already Never Seen Again) Because Jason… Is a Murderer Alter!

Clara, who cannot accept the dark side of having trauma, flees up a mountain and prays to God overnight, leaving Elias all alone, who was very very upset and dysregulated.

The next day, Clara can’t find Elias. She has her father contact the police to arrest him. As she and Salt search high and low, finally Atticus lets them know..

Elias is dead.

He flew the plane into the rocks at the base of the lighthouse, injuring himself badly, but had just enough life back in him to put up sketches of Elias and his father together.

“He didn’t draw, Salt.” I sniffed and pushed myself up. “My Elias didn’t draw. Only the…Only the Other One, and he wouldn’t have hung these. He hated the Keeper… He hated…his..dad. Unless, the two, in the end, unless the two became one.”

He did.

I stared up at Orion, and whispered. “We did it. Elias, you did it. In the end it was just you.”

HES DEAD, CLARA!!! WHO GIVES A RATS ASS IF HE FUSED IF HES DEAD!!!!

The end :>

I apologize both for spoiling the entire book and also putting you through that, as well as my haphazard way of writing. This is an extremely tiring book for only having 254 pages. So much happens, and yet it’s possibly the most boring book in the world to read.

The writing itself is vague and trying to be witty, so it’s actually extremely difficult to tell just what is going on, because it feels like there’s a lot that’s not clarified. I spared you the details about Elias’s theme park machine and giant..spoon…statue..? because it’s altogether nonsense and doesn’t add anything to the already nothingness story.

Yes, I’m being very harsh. This book is a huge insult to anyone who has any neurodivergency, particularly Autism and DID, which are both mentioned explicitly in the book. The way the main character views the people around her is disgusting already, but the way she treats Elias is.. Very confusing. That’s your love interest? The one you have zero faith in, actively dislike half of and scoffs even at ‘Her Elias’ ideas. She’s mean, and it’s not reciprocated banter. She’s just a straight up bitch.

I thought maybe this nonsense world she crossed over into would make more sense if it turned out they were in Salem all along, maybe even if Clara had been the host and she’s actually coming to recognize her own DID. I kept hoping and wishing and that never came to fruition.

But no, Elias is just.. Like that. Treated both by the one who should love him and the narrative itself as something less than human, who doesn’t have choice or any impact on the world around him. And then he fused, and then he died. Because Clara’s journey of self-acceptance was over. Even the author admits he didn’t know what he was doing in the end. Oh sorry, that it ‘Came To Him’. Sure thing, buddy.

If this is your favorite book ever, I’m very sorry. But I’d also love to hear your point of view, so please do share.

What they got Right in my opinion:

The use of substitute beliefs felt slightly realistic, actually. The truth being smudged into something that looks slightly different. Like Salem being both Elias’ way of understanding the world, as well as his inner world. And the Keeper being a lighthouse keeper, his father. The use of stars and mythology coming from the stargazing days with his dad.

Since the split happened as a result of his father’s sexual affairs, it makes sense that Elias recoils from intimate touch. It seems very Trauma to me

What they got Wrong In my opinion:

Where do I even begin? It’s like Mr. Friesen picked up a list on how Not to write DID and followed it as his biblical guide, making sure that he hit every Wrong note.

The Autistic Savant trope is the trope of having the autistic person be both a genius in either a variety of skills or a specific skill, but also being unable to connect on even basic levels with people around them. (think of the movie Rain Man(1988), like being completely unable to understand danger or the world around them as not fitting in their rigid world view. Obviously autistic people with higher support needs do exist(I would love to see more of their stories told in a respectful manner), and a person can be very knowledgeable about their special interests, this trope specifically is a commonly fetishized view of autism seen in media. Especially where the only ‘use’ an autistic person in this role would have is to benefit the (neurotypical) main character and push them towards growth. This is blatant with Elias/Jason’s case.

I can’t find the exact age, but I believe Elias was on the tail end of the age of developing DID. I’m not going to say that he doesn’t have ‘enough trauma’, but DID has been directly correlated with unstable attachments with caregivers in early childhood. It doesn’t make a lot of sense for him to develop DID when he has this fairly secure attachment already with his parents, and even with autism, he would’ve been integrated at this point.

The complete blackout/timeloss with every switch trope. When Jason is there, Elias just is Not. There’s no attempt at recollection, even

DID-blocking medication, lmao

Salem being his inner world as well as.. everyone else’s? This was really vaguely explained in the book and I don’t fully understand how other people ‘have lives’ in his inner world unless he’s just sitting and telling them endlessly about his inner world.

The fact that everyone around him has full knowledge of his disorder when he just does not, it feels very.. Unsafe to me. Treating him like he’s old fashioned ‘insane’ is really… wrong. Even when this abuse of power is questioned, it just gets shut down and smoothed over anyway.

The DID killer trope :I I don’t think I have to explain why this is wrong

Elias is evidently going to a doctor regularly and it has officially been named Dissociative Identity Disorder by said doctor.. Why isn’t there any trauma therapy?

Not DID related, but my British fiancé wants everyone to know that the ‘fine English breakfast’ of sausage, bacon and rolls is just pathetic and this horrible British girl is written extremely clearly my an American.

If even people who call the disorder “Dissociative Personality Disease” feel like this is badly written, THEN ITS BADLY WRITTEN

There is probably more but I am exhausted and want to chuck this library book in the trash to spare anyone else from reading this. This review is 6 PAGES LONG

Would I recommend this to someone with DID to read?: NO!!!!!!!!!!!

#dissociative identity disorder #did in media #complex dissociative disorder #actuallydid #did in books #did media #both of me #jonathan friesen

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aita-blorbos · 1 year

Note

Are we the assholes for not saying we’re siblings?

I say “we” because I am writing on behalf of my brother [M22] and me [F15]. Also, technically, we’re half-siblings, but eh, we’re siblings.

So, going to the beginning, when my brother (who we’ll call A) and I met, we didn’t know we were siblings. He was just a guy who wanted a job with my dad (M33).

Then as we got to know each other, we realized that he had a gift that as far as I know, only people in my family had. Plus, he has a bracelet that looks just like one my mom had that was supposedly one of only two in the world (my mom had both at one point, but she lost one before I was born.

Lining up backstories a bit: turns out A’s parents were traveling musicians until he and his dad got caught in a fire that killed his dad, and his mom couldn’t be found. Lines up with my mom having left her father for a few years because she married someone my grandpa didn’t approve of before she came back, remarried, and had me.

A didn’t know his mom’s name, but he knew his dad’s last name (because it was also A’s last name, duh). So we went to marriage certificate office. Sure enough, my mom was once married to someone with A’s last name.

So by now I bet you’re wondering why we don’t just ask our mom. Well, my mom disappeared about 10 years ago when I was 5… and now is where we get into the “us not telling people we’re siblings” part of it.

We think we actually met our mom. Or at least we met someone that matches the age and physical appearance we assume our mom would have based on 10+ yr old pictures. [let’s call her L, she’s F41]

And she has a bracelet that matches A’s and my mom’s. And she’s had amnesia for the past 10 years.

Also, as far as asking my dad, my current dad adopted me. My birth dad (aka mom’s second husband) disappeared 7 years ago. Since then, my adopted dad is just my dad… and that’s why I don’t want to ask him.

In theory, A and I could tell my dad and we’d get DNA tests to confirm and maybe even talk to L and all be a big happy family! But also, we’ve just had a crazy few months and things have finally settled down, and we kinda don’t want to stir things up again so soon.

Plus, my dad has been the most steady thing in my life for the past 7 years. We may not be family by blood, but we are the definition of “family is who you choose,” and I don’t want him to think that I’ll ditch him just because I’ve found bio family.

Not to mention, how do you go to someone who doesn’t remember the first 3/4ths of her life and go “Hey, we think we’re your kids!”? L has started a new life and has practically adopted a new kid (I’m not sure about legal technicalities), who admittedly I’d be glad to have as a brother as well, but we don’t want L to feel like she has to abandon him for us.

We feel kinda bad whenever someone comments on how alike A and I look, or pokes fun at how we act like brother and sister, but it just seems like it’d be better to not really say anything, at least not yet. Still, we feel bad keeping it a secret, especially from my dad and L.

So AWTA for not admitting we’re related?

((OOC Note: Yes, this is headcanon, OP and A don’t canonically know, but I think they’re smart enough to figure it out.))

#aita #am i the asshole #unreality

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trans-wojak · 11 months

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Cool so if misandrist anon gets to be a hateful bitch to all men do i get my get out of jail free misogynist card? I've been sexually harrassed as a 10 year old by both, but men were forced to apologize to me by other men and women, while if i was harassed by women, they thought they did absolutely nothing wrong even though i felt way more violated. I was only ever groped by women in my whole entire life. It heavily affected how my sexual orientation manifests (my attraction to women can be uncomfortable because of fear of them breaching my boundaries and treating it as an innocent joke). Men are always friendly and speak kindly to me at work but women keep taking out their anger from home at me. My boss is completely ostracised by women at work because she (yes, my boss is a woman! And her boss is a woman too!) reminds them of company policies when they get ridiculous with their demands, like wanting to have double break time compared to other departments and do no extra work to make up for it. We have one other man in the department and they keep emotionally manipulating him into working second shift in the evenings week after week because they don't want to do it, despite it being literally part of their job to be on rotation for the second shift (he shouldn't be doing this because it breaks worker safety laws).

Radfems are so fucking stupid it's unreal

Literally, like I’m technically bisexual but I have a preference for men. But I also find it’s just too hard to date women, I always constantly got put down for the same behaviours THEY do (being open about attraction and talking openly about sex). One time when I lived in shared housing, it was predominantly with women and we had music videos playing. A chick appeared wearing short shorts and I said “hell yeah” - I immediately got attacked by the girls in the room, along with my ex girlfriend trying to tell me I don’t need to be a womaniser to “act like a cis man” to be a man. While those same women would sit around discussing in detail how much they love big cocks, eating ass and licking out pussy.

I’ve been groped by a woman before, and when I tried to tell people in the friend group they told me it was my own fault for not speaking up when it happened and she didn’t really mean it. But if a man did that, they would have called him a violent rapist. Like, I wasn’t even trying to get her to be “cancelled” I’m pretty sure some of it was a misunderstanding cause I went into freeze mode but when I told her about it, she blew me off and tried to say if I don’t speak up it’s my own fault.

Also, whenever I rejected sexual advances from ex girlfriends cause I wasn’t in the mood they would start accusing me of not thinking they’re pretty/hot and I’m like no I just don’t feel like it. I wasn’t given any gentle affection, it always was assumed I wanted sexual intercourse if I was affectionate when really I just wanted to cuddle.

I swear some women will use the fact they have kids to get out of doing their part at work. It’s one thing for people to be courteous and help out but to basically force others to take all the “bad” shifts is so frustrating. Especially when these days, both parents work. And women are allowed to be verbally aggressive and no one thinks is wrong, but if a guy does it everyone acts like it’s the same as physical violence. Whereas for me, I see it the same way. At the share house, one of the women and me got into an argument. She started yelling, screaming and throwing things. I told her let’s stop please, this is scaring me. She started laughing at me and got even MORE aggressive. Like I had to threaten to call the police to get her to stop.

I try very hard to be conscious, I’m on the spectrum and at times I don’t realise the volume of my voice. Especially when I feel strong emotions. When women have told me it’s making them uncomfortable, I ask why (cause I don’t realise my voice volume) and they accuse me of pretending to not know.

Being an autistic man is harder than an autistic woman. Autistic women are seen as cute, quirky and shown sympathy for mishaps in social interactions. People assume the best intentions from them. But autistic men are seen as creepy and full of ill motives. My life was easier when I was a girl cause no one treated me with all these rigid boxes. Now I’m treated as a fucking creep automatically.

I see women as people and people can be crappy. They aren’t special. They shouldn’t be granted special treatment just for being a woman.

#personal #thanks anon!#just ranting #sorry for the rant #tw sa mention

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heyclickadee · 2 years

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Okay! Thoughts on “Retrieval.” This was so much easier to get through.

1. Oh hey! It’s not a big heavy emotional episode that speaks to my soul THANK GOD

2. Seriously, it was kind of nice to get a break. This season seems to be following the same general pattern of season one where episodes 7, 8, and 9 are heavy hitters, while episode 10 serves as a bit of a breather.

3. That said…this…is probably my least favorite episode of the season. I don’t dislike it, I don’t even think it’s a bad episode, but I personally found it a little clumsy, and every other episode of the season has been so good that this one falls a little flat by comparison. Especially on the heels of the last three. Now, that said, there are so many little moments in this I adore, even if I think the whole is a little clunky.

4. *don’t check tbbtwitter DON’t check tbbtwitter don’t do it don’t check tbbtwitter don’t oh shoot why did I check tbbtwitter WhhHhhYyyyyYyyyyyyyyyy*

5. Okay, I get the frustration that things aren’t moving fast enough more than I usually do. I don’t one-hundred percent agree, but I get it. I get wanting more Crosshair, wanting more for Hunter and Wrecker, and wondering where, exactly, the season is going. But I also have a general rule of not criticizing a show until for not doing something I want it to do until the show is completely done, because nine times out of ten the show either ends up doing it OR ends up doing something other than what I expected that ends up being better anyways. Now, that’s my rule, and it doesn’t have to be anyone else’s, but I’m going to sit over here and wait to see what happens. And enjoy what we’re getting now in the meantime. Because whatever criticisms I have, and I do have some, there’s some good stuff here.

6. I loved the fact that the gang isn’t just waiting for Cid to come get them. It shows that they don’t trust her enough to expect that she will help them out, and they’re taking proactive measures to get themselves out of this situation now while they’re all still pretty able and not actively starving to death instead of waiting for her to inevitably not come through for them and having to figure something out then.

7. Wrecker really said it was his turn to be extra testy towards everyone this time around, didn’t he?

8. Really, though, Wrecker’s not having a good time here. He’s missing Echo and Crosshair and the marauder got stolen and they’re stranded and on top of everything else it’s hot and he’s hungry and you know what? Be as irritated as you want, my guy. And you know things are bad when he starts saying things like, “Don’t get your hopes up, kid,” to Omega.

9. Wrecker watching that piece fall off the bike, staring at it, and then Giving Up because Woe Be Upon Him was a Mood.

10. There’s the parallel between Rampart interrupted Crosshair every time he tries to eat and Mokko using food as a way to control the kids in the mine, yes, but there’s also an uncomfortable semi-parallel between that and Cid NOT sending immediate help when she knew the gang didn’t have enough food to last even a few days. It’s that whole “gotta way to live, gotta work to eat, gotta put yourself in abusive and exploitative situations to work” trap.

11. Wrecker really rolled for intimidation on a fifteen year old. He actually rolled a 5, but he’s got a +30 modifier, so it doesn’t matter. (I will admit that I don’t know how modifiers work).

12. Actually, Wrecker going around growling at everything in general and Benni in particular because he’s hangry, agitated, and just trying to move things along as fast as possible made me realize that Wrecker actually doesn’t capitalize on how physically intimidating he is all that often. Yeah, he’s big, loud, and over the top, but he almost never throws his weight around to make himself seem scary. If anything he spends a lot of the time doing the exact opposite.

13. Gonky, coming in at the clutch!

14. “That’s our defective power droid.” I love how protective they are of Gonky! He’s like the beloved family dog who really just kind of sleeps all the time, but everyone loves him all the same.

15. Hunter: *dives face first into the void*

Somewhere in the back of my mind, as though from a great distance: HE’S SO HOOOOOT!! AND RESPECTFUUUULLLL!!!

16. Seriously, who gave him the right—

17. I really liked Omega seeing first hand how bad things for those kids were, and how Mokko pitted them against each other. Omega pointing out that the way Mokko treated them all was wrong was probably the first time Benni ever really heard something like that. It’s hard to see how abusive a situation is from the inside. *cough cough Cid cough cough the Empire*

18. This was actually a really good episode for Omega in general. She’s seeing more of the galaxy outside Kamino, seeing how the galaxy isn’t divided into “The Empire” and “Everyone Else,” bonding with people outside the batch, learning about other people’s perspectives and concepts of home, and trying to make things better with small acts of kindness. Like giving Benni her ration bar. She doesn’t know how soon it is before she’s going to eat next because who knows if they will, in fact, get out of there, but she still hands it over completely unprompted, because she knows this kid is starving. And even though getting access to Mokko’s profit records wasn’t her goal, she does take the time to look through them and point out that the math definitely isn’t mathing with how poor the mine is supposed to be.

19. I was a little bit annoyed that Hunter didn’t immediately step in and help those kids, but that, “We’re not engaging. These kids have it bad enough as it is,” does a lot to explain why. He doesn’t have all the information that Omega ends up having about the mine’s profits at this point, so he thinks the mind really is poor. He doesn’t have the means to take care of all of these kids if he, for example, tried to shuttle them off-world or anywhere to take them if he did—the kids would still be stuck with nothing. And it’s not as though the team can’t really use their normal skill set to, say, overthrow Mokko. One missed shot from anyone would destroy the entire mine and leave the minor miners with even less at best, and kill everyone inside at worst. He’s not backing away from helping because he doesn’t care, he’s backing away because he doesn’t want to make things worse. It’s not handled as deftly as the bad batch usually handles things like this, but I do appreciate that it’s there.

20. Season two has been focusing on Omega’s relationship with Echo and Tech more than it’s been focusing on her relationship with Hunter, but, even though I do miss their talks, there’s absolutely been growth here. The guys have equipped Omega to be able to handle herself and Hunter has complete faith in her to do so. Can you imagine season one Hunter watching Omega throw herself off the end of a walkway and into a pit of fiery death without screaming at her to stop and having all the heart attacks at once? Or early season two Hunter? No. But here, he knows she’s going to be able to make the leap and she knows that he’ll catch her. They don’t even have to talk that plan out, they’re that in sync.

21. Oh hey, look at the way Tech is checking on Omega and talking things out with her since their heart to heart last episode! I love the growth in their relationship!

22. All right, I know Tech’s line about how there are others like them in the galaxy and how that’s something is getting ripped apart in some circle somewhere, but…while I do think the line is a little clumsy in this particular context, since the batch didn’t go in with the intention of freeing the kids in this mine, I think it’s being misunderstood. I don’t think Tech is saying that they’re big damn heroes or anything like that. I think he’s saying that they’re helpers. Because for a group of people that really just wants to lay low and live a bit selfishly, they go out of their way to help out. A lot.

They’re not battling it out with the empire, they’re not taking on that big fight, but they do just a little bit of good almost everywhere they go. Hunter wasn’t able to save Caleb, for example, but doing what he could did Caleb the chance to get away. They don’t follow orders on Onderon, which allows Saw to get away and fight another day, too. Echo gets a bunch of droids away from what seems to be another abusive work environment, they go to Saleucami looking for a place to lay low and end up helping the Lawquanes escape, they intentionally flub a job for Cid to hand important intel over to people they know will use it to fight the empire, they save Hera’s parents, they save Gregor, Tech helps one of the few surviving Serennian’s get access to his people’s history, they help Cid out of real mafia level trouble more than once for no other reason than that it’s the right thing to do (and to keep Omega from being sad), the immediately drop a job when they realize a kid is being trafficked and then help defend that kid’s home, they take a huge risk to help Rex with an important mission (this did backfire but it wasn’t on them), and, no, they didn’t come to this mine with the intention to help the kids out but the still did give those kids the means and information to help themselves (tightening this episode up a bit could have made that more clear and made that line feel less off, but it is absolutely there).

That’s what Tech’s saying; they help people out, and at the least try their best to not make things worse, and they’re not alone. And in a galaxy full of Ramparts and Mokko’s, that does count for something.

23. Tech and Wrecker could’ve shot those droids on the bridge at any time. They didn’t, however, because taking out the droids before the kids all turned on Makko would have meant probably having to stun the kids, too. And normally they’d probably okay with that, but they are standing over a molten chasm of death, and it wasn’t worth taking the risk of a kid falling.

24. *flashbacks to exactly this time in season one when half of tbbtwitter got pissed at the Raxus episode for almost the same reasons and declared they were giving up on the show because it wasn’t moving fast enough I get it I do but I swear to god*

25. Makko’s death was underwhelming; I’m glad Tech pointed out the parallel between how Makko controlled the miners and how the Empire controls everything, even though I’m not sure how he knew what Makko was doing unless Benni just casually told them what was happening thinking that it’s totally normal in a scene I would have liked to have seen; and there was something just a little it clunky about how the batch ended up helping out here. Those are my criticisms. But it’s not a bad episode by any stretch.

26. This is still my least favorite episode of the season, but I’ve talked myself into liking it more.

27. I think this technically counts as a successful mission. They got what they came for (the ipsium) and they’re headed back in one piece. Reeaaaaal curious how the next time they see Cid is going to go, though. I sort of have a theory that she maybe wanted them to get stranded. I don’t think Cid is evil, and she does have a genuine soft spot for Omega, but I could see Cid selling them out because she got herself in way too over her head and needed a way out.

28. Wrecker and Lula!! 🥺

29. Was…that Crosshair’s weapons kit on the cart at the end? I need to go rewatch “Replacements.”

30. Yeah, so we’re, like…definitely getting a season three, aren’t we? That’s not exactly a question—I really mean that episodes like this that make the story take it’s time to go places really makes it feel like at least three seasons are in the bag.

31. I forgot to mention that I liked the fact that both Tech and Wrecker were fixing the bike and the ship. It’s low key, but I always love seeing more of Wrecker’s mechanical/technical skill.

#the bad batch #tbb spoilers #tbbspoilers #the bad batch spoilers #the bad batch season two

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suitsusboth · 11 months

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20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Tagged by @harnitbee 💜💜💜

1- How many works do you have on AO3?

currently six!

2- What's your total AO3 word count?

314,403 which is wild since i’ve only been doing this about a year and a half? i don’t think i wrote that much in college????

3- What fandoms do you write for?

Bridgerton 🐝 I’ve thought about writing for other fandoms in the past but nothing quite got a grip on me like Anthony and Kate 😌

4- What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. love came back to me (still stunned at the reception of this fic)

2. just go with it (my fun little one shot)

3. where the love light gleams (my baby 🩵)

4. can’t two people reconnect (basically an exercise in writing smut)

5. if only in my dreams (🥹 wholesome epilogue/christmas fic to where the love light gleams)

5- Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

i do for the most part, mostly because i appreciate the time people take to write them as usually they’re very encouraging and i love to answer questions or clarify things if needed. anyone who’s commented on a fic of mine ilysm 🥹💜

6- What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i dont think i’ve got a fic with an angsty ending, i love a good old happily ever after, buuuut i’d say love came back to me was the angstiest fic over all (lmk if you disagree!)

7- What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

mmmm a tough one because i end them all happily, but i think if only in my dreams and just go with it are the happiest over all

8- Do you get hate on fics?

luckily not really just the occasional odd comment that kinda leaves me scratching my head

9- Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, well, trying to 😅

10- Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

nah

11- Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of??

12- Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that I am aware of!

13- Have you ever co-written a fic before?

no, but i think it would be fun… i’m just slow at writing so I don’t know if that would pose an issue

14- What's your all-time favourite ship?

Kanthony, forever and always baaaaaby 💜 the power they have over me is insane 😌

15- What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

the elopement au 🤪

16- What are your writing strengths?

ermm i’d say i don’t really have strengths it’s mostly a hot mess but maybe dialogue?? 😅

17- What are your writing weaknesses?

oh man…. my editor/beta reader will tell you spelling and grammar for SURE but probably also staying focused and motivated as well. if i’m tired of writing i think i don’t do the best i can so sections can suffer and then i’m too lazy to go back and fix it

18- Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

physically impossible for me as i have little to no other language skills (if you can you’re incredible!) i added some french to lcbtm but that was all google translate lol

19- First fandom you wrote for?

bridgerton 😉

20- Favorite fic you've written?

i can’t chose they’re all my babies 🥹

love came back to me i’m the proudest of because it’s my first fic i published and the longest and even though i took breaks i kept at it

where the love light gleams just holds a special part of my heart i love that cozy universe

just go with it was definitely the easiest and funnest to write though. i’m proud of the banter in that one tbh.

#this was fun :)#if anyone else wants to do this consider yourself tagged!!!#💜💜💜

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neverwritewhatyouknow · 2 years

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Results are in for poll #2

I’m honestly not too shocked by the answers that were given and, let’s just say relieved that others weren’t given is an understatement.

I figured the best way to respond would be to go one by one and explain more to help educate:

1. “I love the actress, no matter the role, so her taking a Jewish role was fine”

Unfortunately no matter how talented someone is, they can’t change their ethnicity on screen. It would be like saying that you love Angelina Jolie no matter what and it was fine that she played an Afro-Latino in Pearl, or if they had Tom Holland play a Latino character. Loving someone doesn’t make it okay to erase a minority.

2. “I didn’t know “Jewish” was an ethnicity and not just tied to a religion.”

This having a lot of votes didn’t surprise me at all. Jewish is very much an ethnicity, and actually there are a few different Jewish backgrounds. There’s Ashkenazic (Eastern Europe), Sephardic (Spain, Portugal, Italy, Turkey, Iberia), Mizrahi (Oriental), Ethiopia (and I’m assuming the rest of Africa?). So not only is Jewish itself an ethnicity, but further than that, depending on what Jewish background you have, everything could be different. Judaism is the religion and a Jew is a part of the ethnoreligion. Meaning that the two are intertwined. A Jew may not be religious, but they may keep traditions that are a part of the culture or they may do absolutely nothing and are still just as Jewish as someone who goes to services every week. You’re a part of a tiny little (but strong) tribe of people, being Jewish is literally in your blood (yes, that includes you converts, you have Jewish blood and soul too).

But the biggest reason why this answer doesn’t surprise me, is that on TV or in movies, Jewish characters are never allowed to just exist. It always has to be tied into a Jewish plot. Sometimes that’s playing them for a joke, other times they’re a WW2 victim, other times they’re extremely religious. Jews are so rarely ever shown just being people without the religious aspects tied in. So it’s not surprising that non-Jews don’t know that a lot of Jews aren’t even religious, hell there are a shit ton of Jews who are outspokenly Atheist but super duper Jewish. If films or shows had Jewish characters that didn’t have any sort of religious connection, it would show that Jews are more than a bagel, a Torah, a lawyer/doctor/banker, Orthodox, etc.

That’s why RWRB erasing a Jewish character who was accidentally an amazing example of a 22 year old explicitly Jewish girl who was just Jewish without being overtly religious in any way would’ve been groundbreaking.

3. “Other answer, I’ll explain more…” Please do!!

4. “I didn’t know “Jew-Face” and Jew-erasure in the media was a big deal.”

Sarah Silverman coined the term Jew-face to give a name to when a non-Jewish actor is cast to play a Jewish actor, based on their physical features. Take Rachel Sennott in Shiva Baby or Patti LuPone in like 5 different things. They’re both Italian. But the term has evolved to cover any non-Jew playing a Jew. Much like Black-face, Yellow-face, and Red-face, this is something that is clearly not okay. That’s why performers don’t do any of the latter 3 any more, yet because many don’t understand that Jewish is an ethnicity or why it’s bad to erase Jews, it continues. 9/10 a Jewish character you see on TV or in a movie isn’t a Jewish actor. Most of the Marvelous Mrs Maisel cast— not Jewish. Most of The Goldbergs cast— not Jewish. Most of the Transparent cast— Not Jewish. The new Spielberg movie— Not Jewish. You see what I’m getting at? There may be a few Jews here and there, mainly in comedies or just by happenstance that the actor was Jewish and they ran with it, but explicitly Jewish roles are normally always given to non-Jewish actors. That would never be the case with any other ethnicity in 2023.

5. “I like Nora being a POC and I didn’t know Jews could be Black (or any race).”

Another answer that really didn’t surprise me. This is because on TV and in movies 1: you rarely see any actual Jews, and 2: You definitely never see Jews of more diverse colors and backgrounds. Jews can be Asian, Black, Hispanic, literally anything you can imagine. Some by conversion, but a lotttttttt were just born Jewish. I don’t want to speak over any Jew of color, but I can make the likely true assumption that it probably fucking sucks for people to assume they aren’t Jewish simply because of what they look like. I’m grateful I was raised Reform, so I grew up surrounded by diverse Jews as far as the eye could see, but unfortunately since Jews are a minority anyway and Jews of color are only a small fraction of an already small fraction… It’s not shocking that people think they don’t exist. What RWRB could’ve done, if they wanted Nora to be played by an African-American actress, is they could have found a girl who was Jewish and Black. I promise, they exist.

6. “I understand that it’s wrong! Changing my mind! RWRB did something bad!”

Amazing! So glad! Please post about it or reblog any of my posts. What they did was really not okay and we can’t let this slide.

7. “I didn’t know the rest of the cast was accurately portraying their ethnicities.”

To the absolute best of my knowledge, every other actor cast in the film who has a character with a minority background is of that background. South East Asian playing South East Asian. Mexican-American playing Mexican-American. Etc. It seems that the only character not portrayed accurately is the only character with a Jewish ethnicity, and even if she wasn’t the only one, hopefully you understand why it would be wrong in any production.

As always, if you have questions, comments, or concerns… DM, Anon, Comment, or leave ‘em in the tags

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pink-strawberry-kissess · 2 years

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all of the headcanons that i have for leon x ada 💙💋

(this is for my au that i have)

in no particular order (i might update this accordingly, since this is still a developing story and i have no idea what i’m doing)

Locations

Leon lives in a townhouse like apartment, not particularly expensive but it was better for him to work as an undercover government agent in something less luxurious and more normal looking. It’s not like a super shitty apartment or anything, it’s renovated but like the shower is bad lol

I also feel like his townhouse is the kind that’s separated enough so that he actually barely sees his neighbours.

But there’s gotta just be a really old lady that he’s next to that’s too nosey and notices when Ada starts showing up, and she’s like REALLY happy that he’s found someone lol

and she like persistently “hits on Leon” in a joking manner, and wanting to know about the pretty lady in red, and why every time she’s here, he’s a lot happier.

Also the old lady would get Leon’s mail whenever he’s been away.

His home is rather clean but messy sometimes. He’s the definition of everything’s a mess, but I know where my things are.

Ada has broken into his apartment several times and he’s never made the effort to change his security, that being said he doesn’t want to leave a key out and would rather give her a key in time.

I still think he works at the white house occasionally, but headquarters will be at a nondescript location of a high rise building that he frequents. I do think that Hunnigan he reports to frequently and he does see her in person. (Also she is one of the few people impervious to his flirts and thinks he’s cringy lol)

Ada stays in a luxurious high security home and in a closed off community. She also stays in a townhouse like apartment, although much more separated from other units.

I feel like she doesn’t an excessive amount of things, but she does like collecting antiques and art every once in a while. She’s not a super materialistic person in the sense that she likes having things but she doesn’t care if she loses it all.

She also does have an extensive closet lol, lots of shoes i think.

If she’s not at home (which she actually barely is) she has other safe houses around the world that she can stay at. (They’re usually attended to by the very few people that she trusts that are like (normal people.))

Yes, I’m intending for her to abandon her home at some point, for safety reasons, but I haven’t explored that far into the story yet. So I have no idea why she abandons it tbh.

I honestly think that Leon never “physically,” receives a key to Ada’s home. Meaning she never hands him one.

Only after a while does he realize that she left it in the bear keychain after she dug through his bedside drawer one time. Maybe after the time that she gets too sick and he has to rescue her lmao and bring her back home does she think to give him a key.

Timeline

I think I’ll be writing my au basing from after re4 - re 6. Anything that’s during re6 will be a more established relationship, but anything prior will still be in the midst of a pre-relationship, mutual pining/angst for the relationship.

Only after re6 does Ada and Leon stay in the same place more permanently. She opts to stay at Leon’s apartment mostly because although they’re together at this point because (see above)

The only time that she’s received a key to Leon’s apartment will be around “that night,” but I also headcanon that they fooled around a lot as well.

I do not go into the vendetta!Leon era which I believe in after re6. (Where he’s like (38-40)

I’m not 100% sure if I’ll go into re2 era and if it’s referenced, it will most likely be in a flashback.

So to keep things simple, their age ranges will only range from��

Leon ~27 - 37, and Ada being ~30 - 40 respectively. I will not be able to remember exactly their ages in retrospect to Leon’s birthday and Ada’s non-existent birthday so ages may be off by a bit.

10 years is a lot of time to play with! so try not to think about the logistics of it too much since I won’t be writing chronologically anyways and will bounce back and forth (easily way to check timeline is just for context clues in the fic etc. or in the tags, i might give a general time frame.)

Leon

I visually think of re6 Leon most of the time when writing him. I still think that his hair is a more dirty blond hair colour, but perhaps in the winter his hair darkens slightly. I’m not the hugest fan of the dark brown colour he has in like vendetta. Although I still love vendetta!Leon.

He’s a fan of leather jackets and dress shirts. But he’s more likely to be found in a t-shirt and jeans at home. He does have a few good suits.

He’s not a huge tie person and Ada notices every time that he does wear one. seggys times usually happens but Leon can never remember that it’s the tie that sets Ada off. Eventually he remembers that it’s the ties lol

He’s a serial key loser, but always finds them later. He has kept Ada’s little stuffed bear keychain but mostly keeps it in his pocket or in his bedside drawer.

He smells like leather and eucalyptus, a bit of musk and sandalwood. Sometimes a bit minty. His hair smells the best. He’s impartial to cologne and only wears it occasionally. (Mostly to impress Ada) He’s also a very clean smelling person.

Leon is 100% the chef in the relationship and mostly because Ada is not capable of cooking more than a few things. Besides he loves cooking breakfast for her. And he loves breakfast hehe.

I also headcanon that he doesn’t smoke, not a fan of it at all, but he might have a bit when he was younger but quit. (Like pre police force.)

He’s also a bit of an alcoholic and I do think that he drinks his sorrows away at times.

He’s very much a golden retriever boyfriend and would remember things for Ada but rarely for himself.

Leon is a terrible driver, but for realism sake, let’s keep all the car crashes for action parts lol

Leon’s the HUGEST BABY WHEN HE’S SICK. He’s one of those people that rarely gets sick but when he gets sick HE GETS SICK. And Ada is mostly okay taking care of him lol but struggles since he doesn’t want her to inevitably catch whatever he has.

Leon has no green thumb and kills plants very easily.

He likes the idea of a dog but knows that with his lifestyle he wouldn’t be able to provide for it as well as he would want to. Although he would always want to get a dog.

Whenever he’s not working he does like going on vacations and just relaxing.

He’s not super into video games but will play if he can get Ada to play with him. Also that he’s terrible at shooters cause I think that’s hilarious because of who he is, but also that he’s the best at racing games.

Various hobbies I think he would have is cooking new recipes, drinking lol, he dabbles in some photography. He would’ve had a film camera from when he was younger and I think he would enjoy that more than like a modern dslr. Like a nice film slr he would enjoy. Also he’s canonically and old man (gotta remember he was born in 1977,) so he’s not the best with technology when it comes to things that don’t pertain to work.

I do think he likes fixing things around the house when he can.

Ada

Because I visualize re6 Leon, I also visualize re6 Ada. She’s mostly in red, but I imagine her to be comfortable in mostly black and cream colours. On the odd occasion she’ll wear purple.

Her outfits consist of more form fitting clothing choices sometimes, with cut outs and she often dresses to bring attention to her form.

She’s known to steal more than one of Leon’s shirts/sweaters.

I’m a big fan of like- descriptors of scent and have lots of like, longing feelings for Ada that I write from Leon’s perspective. So I imagine her to smell very sweet and sultry, like cherries, jasmine, honey, with a hint of florals, maybe like peonies or something like that. Not vanilla or anything too rose like.

I keep her visually as the same as possible, dark black hair, very re6 hairstyle with the slight bang, slightly longer. Not short like re4(original) and I tend to think of her with the slight fringe, not the re2remake bob.

Very “light” makeup and her lips are often a bitten red kind of colour.

She’s not afraid to wear jewelry sometimes, her favourites being necklaces/chokers, then bracelets, then earrings. She’s also okay with leaving said jewelry with Leon sometimes, she never forgets it. She just chooses to leave them there.

Ada hates getting sick, it’s her one weakness in terms of a state that she refuses to let Leon see her in. Because of that though, she does eat rather healthy, but indulges in more desserts when she can. I do think she has a bit of a sweet tooth but denies it.

ADA LIKES LATTES, AND LEON DOESN’T. I DUNNO. But I think he drinks them when she makes them for him cause he can’t refuse her. But now he can’t drink lattes unless she makes them for him. If he gets one from somewhere else he’s like >:( it’s not how Ada makes them

Also about the sickness thing, if she ever feels like she’s coming down with something, she won’t meet up with him at all. Especially in the beginning and won’t give notice if she won’t show up.

That being said, I feel like there would be one time that Leon would catch her somehow, maybe at a point where he knows that general whereabouts of where she lives but not exactly her home yet. And he would find her just WITH THE WORST FEVER AND BARELY STANDING ON HER OWN and she’s just like i’M FINE

He would take her back to his apartment, letting her sleep in the car and tuck her into his bed. She would hate it the entire time and be grouchy until she feels better. And she would also protest every single thing Leon brings her to help her. (ALSO CAUSE ADA HATES BEING WEAK IN FRONT OF LEON)

Ada is a early riser and more likely than not is up before Leon’s even awake.

Them together

They actually don’t speak a lot when together. When they manage to spend some time together (especially in the beginning) it’s a lot of (˵¯͒〰¯͒˵) so they’re not spending a lot of time talking

They’re quite fond of pillow talk though, a lot more vulnerable feeling when they’re naked and lazily laying in bed together.

At the beginning Leon is very afraid of his own feelings for Ada and will often shut her off because of how unclear she is about her feelings about him

Pre-relationship they will struggle a lot with their own feelings and being afraid of being vulnerable. At the same time, they would kill for each other and would do anything to save each other at the same time.

Both would drop everything if the other is in danger.

If there was ever a hostage situation, it would 100% be Leon who is the hostage, and Ada would have to save him.

I don’t like to talk about birth control too much in fanfic tbh. Obviously be safe and get tested and all that jazz and wear protection. But for some uhhh continuity sake.

I do somewhat headcanon that Leon’s had a vasectomy. Probably in his mid 20s. (Also vasectomies are reversible!!!) I’m not confirming nor denying this headcanon I have, but I just think about it sometimes.

That being said I don’t think that Ada’s necessarily has had her tubes tied. We’re not going all Black Widow here. But I do think that she’s perhaps on hormones, like the shot or something that’s more “long term.”

Also because I am personally not a fan of condoms lol so I tend to not write it in my fics, but of course irl be safe. (Also yes I am being safe lol do not worry about me)

I don’t know if they would have an unplanned pregnancy etc. I haven’t thought that fair yet. (Also cause vasectomies can reverse on their own, and no female birth control is 100% effective, which is why I’m keeping this option open)

But I do like the idea of a double proposal in this au.

Leon would 100% propose with a family ring that he would have changed to fit Ada’s size/aesthetic.

With Leon’s height being 5′11 and Ada’s height being 5′7, they have the most cute height difference imo. I do have a big of a height size kink? so I tend to think that Leon’s very tall in comparison. Although I’m 5′5 and I had a bf who was a similar height to Leon and it was very cute and comfortable.

I do not think that Ada suffers from nightmares anymore. Maybe when she was in her 20s but not her 30s. I think that Leon’s too much of an empath and does still suffer from nightmares up into his 30s. That being said, if he does have nightmares, Ada will just gently coax him awake by holding him, and she’s fast enough to catch his reflexes if he decides to attack in his sleep.

ALSO though, I do think that maybe in high stress situations that Ada suffers from night terrors (which is much worse than nightmares)(i would know, I used to suffer from them)

And because it’s hard to know if someone is suffering from night terrors, Leon feels TERRIBLE cause he can’t get her to wake from them. He’ll just hold her for the rest of the night, but Ada won’t be able to fall back asleep and will just stay up the rest of the night. He might try to stay awake by cooking her something.

Will be adding more accordingly lol

#aeon #leon kennedy #Leon Kennedy x ada Wong #leon s kennedy #Leon x ada #ada wong #ada wong x leon kennedy #headcanons #leon scott kennedy #leon x ada headcanons #resident evil #aeon headcanons

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italic-doing-random-shit · 9 months

Note

all of them. unless you're uncomfortable with any

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

only with my mom

02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?

I last said I love you to panda

03: Do you regret anything?

yep, lots of things

04: Are you insecure?

hell yeah, plenty to not like about me but that’s the anxiety talking

05: What is your relationship status?

taken

06: How do you want to die?

quickly, calmly

07: What did you last eat?

hamburbur

08: Played any sports?

play soccer mainly, but dabbled around

09: Do you bite your nails?

unless I paint them, yes

10: When was your last physical fight?

fourth grade

11: Do you like someone?

yeah, I’m dating them

12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?

yep

13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?

I hate actions not people, unless the action is unjustifiable. So like, Israeli military and my dad

14: Do you miss someone?

I miss my moots in a way of ‘we never met but I want you here way’

15: Have any pets?

yep, always lived with dogs

16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?

really shitty

17: Ever made out in the bathroom?

nope, never even kissed someone

18: Are you scared of spiders?

nah, they’re little guys

19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?

nope, might get killed legally

20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?

haven’t yet

21: What are your plans for this weekend?

take a fucking break

22: Do you want to have kids? How many?

maybe, all I know is I want to adopt

23: Do you have piercings? How many?

none, but I want basic earibgs

24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?

anything art related or english

25: Do you miss anyone from your past?

no, I left them for a reason

26: What are you craving right now?

sleep and cuddles

27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?

yeah,,,,, I didn’t want to hurt them but I’m not going to date someone I don’t like back. It’s not fair.

28: Have you ever been cheated on?

nope

29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?

I believe so, but we were being sweet and it was a while ago

30: What’s irritating you right now?

school

31: Does somebody love you?

yes

32: What is your favourite color?

red

33: Do you have trust issues?

yes

34: Who/what was your last dream about?

Me, someone was trying to kill me

35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my teacher when asking for stock footage

36: Do you give out second chances too easily?

I think but also everyone deserves a new chance

37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?

forgive

38: Is this year the best year of your life?

don’t know, still growing

39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?

haven’t had one

40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?

when I was like one

51: Favourite food?

Cheese quesadillas

52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

yeah, why else would they happen

53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?

hug my mom

54: Is cheating ever okay?

only on tests that don’t matter much

55: Are you mean?

playfully mean

56: How many people have you fist fought?

three

57: Do you believe in true love?

yes

58: Favourite weather?

summer rain

59: Do you like the snow?

YES

60: Do you wanna get married?

yes

61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?

yeah, I love pet names

62: What makes you happy?

a lot of things

63: Would you change your name?

yes, I did

64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?

no? I kissed my mom on the check and I’ll do it again

65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

(well as a trans male) if I was single and liked them then maybe but usually I just say I’m not interested and run off embarrassed

66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?

not really

67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?

Inka

68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

my mom

69: Do you believe in soulmates?

yes

70: Is there anyone you would die for?

no, but there plenty of people I’d live for

#asks #tunny!! 🩷#Ask game

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tiodolma · 1 year

Note

So, as you're watching Camelot, who's the better Merlin? 😗 Physical appearance, character, magic, the way he behaves?

As of writing this, i have only been finished watchcing 5/10 episodes of Starz Camelot (2011). I’m going to just answer with what I know for now.

Will contain some spoilers.

I love Colin Morgan but without a doubt, Joseph Fiennes’s Merlin is the best Merlin adaptation I have seen so far. (tbf i've only seen like 3 arthuriana adaptations or 4 if u include monty python)

Physical appearance: I wish his Starz Merlin wasn’t bald. He looks too modern. But BBC Merlin is still more modern-looking compared to him. Starz Merlin’s baldness could be a dealbreaker to some. I know because I had been skeptical at first. Anyway. This Merlin is OLD. No one knows his true age (im still at ep5). This is key because he’s a lot more famous, respected and feared not only coz of his magic but because he knows and has seen things.

Character: It’s like Starz Merlin popped straight out of Prose Merlin. Starz Merlin has the madness, the mystery, the wisdom, the experience. This one is a proper kingmaker, strategist, and an actual tutor to Arthur. He is still very protective, caring and watchful for him not in a “i am your servant” kind of way but more like in a “you better not fck this one up, kid. I placed all my bets of the future in you so can you pls live up to your birthright and pendragon name ffs.”

Magic: He’s as powerful as BBCMerlin (i think). He does not flaunt his magic because the consequences are too great. He’s a proper sorcerer tbh. He’s witchy and etc. His logic and motives are mad and you better just say yes to what he will say. This Merlin is plagued by visions. He can scry effortlessly and without the use of magical objects like waterbowls or crystals. If u watch the show u can see how he does it. He uses his scrying to his advantage tho (which is frkn great i love it.)

The way he behaves: if BBC Morgana has her trademark smirks then Starz Merlin is kinda the same lol. Starz Merlin is crazed and barely holding it together and yet still getting things done. He masterminds a lot of the organizing, the propaganda, the political maneuvering... just to prove arthur’s legitimacy, claim and worthiness. It’s very close to Merlin from the legends I think.

Power Comes At a Cost

What’s important is that Starz Merlin’s main thing is “power comes at a cost”. This is vital in the characterization and what I had been looking for in the entirety of BBC Merlin. Both Starz Camelot’s Merlin and Morgan get hurt or suffer terribly from using their powers. I think it’s also why Starz Merlin has a lot of other skills. Unlike BBC Merlin who rarely shows any regret when he kills/hurts somebody using his magic or just for the sake of “destiny”, Starz Merlin does feel remorse and is afraid of the fact that he can kill people if they dont give him what he wants. This makes his character a lot more nuanced and compelling.

The Plot and Other Characters

I have to admit though Starz Camelot’s storyline is more solid. The characterization of Arthur, Guinevere, Morgan is also strong and goes on par with Merlin’s. They’re not caricatures imho. Plus they act In the age they are supposed to be in the show. Arthur and Guinevere are the youngest but they slowly grow out of impulsivity and into maturity and assertiveness. Morgan Pendragon shows the result of 15 years stuck in a nunnery while stewing in magic, knowledge, revenge and hatred against Uther and Igraine. It’s not a Monster of the Week kind of thing so there is not a lot of senseless killing involved —make no mistake, there is killing involved but it’s not the main focus....unlike in the BBC Show where the story at its core is to “secretly eliminate every threat to the pendragons” due in part to the Monster of the Week format.

The main focus, as of ep5, for Starz Camelot is Arthur growing to be A King with and without Merlin’s constant guidance and protection. This makes the plot and writing better and more coherent (in this first 5 episodes anyway). Moreover I do not think the good vs evil plotline is rubbed in one’s face. In fact there is no blatant mention of good vs evil (which is a relief gdi, everyone in Starz Camelot have a bit of asshole energy in themselves).

BBC Merlin vs Starz Camelot Merlin

I do understand though that BBC Merlin and Starz Camelot were two different stories. BBC Merlin told the storyof Merlin growing into his power whereas Starz Camelot’s Merlin already has power but just refused to use it. In the BBC show Arthur is 2 years older than Merlin and was already trained as heir-apparent and kingdom administrator. In Starz Camelot, Merlin’s age is uknown while Arthur was basically a teenager who he just plucked out of the countryside right after Uther was assasinated. We can already see the power dynamics and scope of influence just between their ages alone. Moreover In BBC Merlin, the magic ban, the genocide, and kilgharrah/gaius, all influence and dictate a lot of BBC Merlin’s secrecy and life. They’re both very lonely characters but Starz Camelot’s Merlin has more freedom and has more control of his own life because there is no magic ban. As expected, BBC Merlin has a more uphill battle.

They both have their idealogies and act in extreme and atrocious ways to getting there but... I know I’ve said this before but BBC Merlin acts more like an indoctrinated bioweapon secret service agent rather than an actual person. Starz Camelot’s Merlin is a lot more nuanced, more grounded and more complicated. Starz Camelot’s Merlin is not the extremely self-righteous-i-am-holier-than-thou-as-the-Emodiment-of-Love-Light-and-Loyalty-creature we know as BBC Merlin Emrys.

Starz Camelot’s Merlin is A Sorcerer and A Kingmaker, in every sense of the word:

smart, tactful and resourceful

Cautious but still cunning

Knows how to handle and manipulate people

Remorseful,

has seen things,

snakey,

duplicitous,

Has meltdowns when overwhelmed,

still sad and caring in his own way and

...most of all have a certain degree of prickly and dangerous madness (and i think he is aware of it)

This one is more faithful in spirit to the basic arthurian legends compared to BBC Merlin.

Conclusion: BBC Merlin (the character) has his charms, but he can be extremely frustrating to watch because he underperforms constantly. What I am trying to say is that everything I complained about BBC Merlin had been fulfilled/achieved/fixed by Starz Camelot’s Merlin in just 5 episodes.

I do not know what is going to happen yet but as for now I am impressed and quite satisfied.

#thots #starz camelot #camelot 2011 #merlin crit #essays

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the1975attheirverybest · 1 year

Note

I’ve had a feeling this was coming. The combination of Matty repeatedly making a point to tell us they aren’t going anywhere, Jamie stressing that this is the last set of shows for a while, and Adams ATPOAIM episode is what did it for me. I couldn’t imagine them jumping right back into another album cycle after the year they’ve had, either. I didn’t even expect this second leg on tour.

It’s heartbreaking to hear confirmation, but besides COVID, they’ve been going nonstop for a decade. Longer breaks just seem inevitable as they get older.

He says a lot of stuff that doesn’t come to pass (he also said they’d take a long break after Notes which didn’t pan out), but he also speaks very deliberately. He seemed nervous when he said it, and the vibe shifted majorly, he knows the weight those words hold. Maybe they’ll make a return in 2025 or 2026 instead of the usual two year cycle.

Anyways, I’m hoping this means his solo project sees the light of day.

Yeah I think you’re right. It’s been a wild ride, the album cycle, right? With everything that’s happened, coming back from Covid and all.

I was talking to @abiiors about this, and, we were saying how this might be a similar thing to what ended up happening with the Arctic Monkeys. There were a few years when they paused. As their families and personal lives grew. And we got TLSP in the meantime. You know?

And, like, let me make a disclaim rn cuz some of y’all in my asks and dms need to fuckin chill. Im NOT saying I don’t want the boys to rest. They SHOULD. It made sense for them to operate the way that they’ve been operating for the past decade because they were establishing a career. They were practically children. From Drive Like I do, to The EPs. By the time ST was a thing they were like 23. They’re grown men in their mid 30s now. Mentally, socially, physically, their lives look very different. They’ve been in serious relationships now. Baby boy Hann is growing up and Hann has been on the road for most of these big important milestones as a father.

It just doesn’t make sense for them to keep going the way that they have been. Ross is now a producer. George has produced a bunch of other records. Matty’s broadened out and made friends with Phoebe and Jack Antonoff (who may or may not be his solo project producer). The boys are growing up. (That’s was going to be the subject of my ‘essay’ on BFIAFL btw. That’s why I’d called it ‘boys to men’ like as a pun on Boys II Men.) that means that their art and their jobs are going to grow and change as well. Slowing down is essential.

And while we’re on the subject, I don’t think that the way they’ve been going for the past 10 years is sustainable. It’s not right. Not healthy. You guys know how Matty always says “we create in the same way that we consume”? It’s true. Because of streaming, post-modernity, etc (especially post-Covid), our consumption of art and entertainment has changed. We have shorter cultural attention spans. A song that came out 6 months ago is already old news today. So, with Notes, Matty has talked about wanting to keep putting out records as long as he has something meaningful to say and as long as culture is hungry for more. And while that might sound like great news for us as fans cuz it just means that we’ll always have new content around the corner. But let’s step back from that for a moment, yes?

That’s not healthy for him. He has already worked himself to the bone over the past ten years. Even at his worst and darkest moments he was making music. And he’s a bit of a workaholic. Sure, he doesn’t have a family just yet, but that doesn’t mean he should do this to himself. Obviously, it’s his world and his life and if he feels okay to keep doing things a certain way, that’s his business. I’m just saying that as fans, our investment in the boys doesn’t begin and end with consumption and creation. I’m interested (as I’m sure many, if not all of us) in his health and sanity. I can cite endless examples of great artists from the past few decades who burnt out hard and crashed because they didn’t want to “waste the moment” or tried to capitalize on their fame when it hit peak levels. I’m personally really proud of Matty for doing this past year clean / off the drugs, and in tip top physical health. What I wish for him, whether he chooses to pursue it or not, is that he would give himself time to be bored. Stop and learn how to deal with the quietness of mundane everyday life. Cuz, that can fuck a person up. Sometimes, when you’re so used to the lifestyle that the boys have lived for the last 10 years, just going home and being with the people that you love feels like torture. And people easily start self-destructive habits to cope with that. I want him to learn all that on his own terms, you know?

My sincerest wish for him is that he will continue the tremendous growth that he’s shown over the last few years. By leaning even harder into the healthy habits that he seems to have established for himself mentally and physically. Not backtrack and fall on the old nonsense. But in order to be able to do one or the other he needs to actually HAVE TIME. We all know this is a real issue for him. That’s what fuckin RoadKill is about. “When I think I won’t die from stopping.” “Not really how babies get made,” etc. it would genuinely be healthy for him to feel like he’s gonna die from stopping and then learn that he won’t actually die.

So that he can come back and be creating from a place of security and mortal dread. To pick up a guitar/ pen/ whatever he uses to write because he wants to and he has something to say, not cuz if he doesn’t, he might go insane.

This is true for all of the boys, Ross is the other ostensibly single one whose immediate private life might feel quiet too. (For all we know. Like he might be in a serious relationship that’s not our business.) really this is true for all 4 of them. And of all the people who have loved and supported them over the past 10 years. This isn’t easy on family and loved ones and their live musicians and crew either.

If they have to miss and album cycle or two, then so be it. Maybe we will get Matty’s solo record. Maybe we’ll get DLID, maybe that weird feature film that he’s been writing for as long as I can remember, maybe, maybe, maybe….. all that would be great but not necessary.

HAVING SAID ALL OF THATTTTT. Let’s not fuck around. For many of us, the 1975 has been the constant, comfort, strength, love, meaning etc. and it going away for however long that will be, is LEGITIMATELY A SAD THING. There is absolutely no reason to minimize or trivialize that pain. Or feel that you are selfish or don’t care about the boys, or any less of a fan, just because you find that having to imagine a future when SATVB isn’t on tomorrow or the day after, and we aren’t hyperfixating on or analyzing Matty’s cryptic speeches or thirsting after his torso extremely sad/ difficult/ bittersweet/ lonely/ scary. C’mon. Some people have been in this fandom since ST (not me), that’s their whole fuckin life, man!!!!! It IS sad. You SHOULD cry. ITS OKAY TO BE UPSET. and frankly anyone who makes people feel bad for that is a piece of shit.

Saying things like “oh they’ll be back.” “They’re not going anywhere.” “Matty will be chronically online” are all true BUT THEY DONT CHANGE THE FACT THAT THINGS ARE CHANGING. FOR GOOD. ITS OKAY TO FEEL HOWEVER YOU FEEL.

The boys are still around for the next few months. Let’s cherish them (and each other) while we still can. But imo this is not a silly subject and it’s okay to be upset.

Love y’all. The 1975 forever 🩷

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theavtalks · 1 year

Text

At War

I go outside, mostly for a walk or a run, in the evening when the sun is settling down. Not only the sun, but the people are settling down. Is it in our country only on with the complete mankind, that we see so much of settling down? I see ferries, rickshaws, people returning from their offices. They have been working hard for their livelihood. Yes, they are working hard for their livelihood but are they really living? No doubt they move well, they talk, react, wave their hands and roam on their feet, but are they really alive? They don’t speak much. They just walk, like background characters in a play. But, I see one part of their body that knows how to speak - their eyes. Their eyes are loud, screaming in insanity at the top of its lungs, if the eyes had lungs in some other dimension of the universe. Unable to weep and incapable of crying, their eyes appeal. They say everything that the person can’t. Fatigue from the last night, next deadline to meet, son’s degrading grades and the wait for Sunday - they say it all. They don’t want to be through what they do but they want to be through what they do. It’s an inner conflict, the mind quarrels with the heart and nothing is in cohesion. They’re at war with themselves, surrounded with battles that bind them.

A man needs a war, that’s what I believe. A war big enough to set him free. A war that will end all these petty battles. “Shoot for the moon, you may land amongst the stars” - they say and I agree.

Man needs a war, war needs a king and there’s only one king. We’re not in the age when we need to physically protect ourselves. The roadblocks are mental and the destiny is liberation. Honestly, this is the true war. In fact, this has been the true war since time immemorial. No doubt, innumerable wars have been fought. But, what for? Castles, queens and kingdoms. There have been a handful who have been at war for liberation. Because, liberation is the superior, the ultimate, the real, the honest and the only truth. Millions of years of evolution, we are a summary of jungle, built with the sand of the land, moisturised with the dew of the leaves and brushed with the hair of a horse. And, we think we are perfect. A constant tussle in the mind, ever-long longing for peace in the heart - don’t you fight these battles? Billionaires commit suicides as well, so clearly money is not an answer. How could it be? Famous people hate the fame and people with names hate those names, so let’s keep aside fame and name too. We make fool of ourselves chasing these elements believing they are the battles that lead to peace but unfortunately, we see more and more misery.

Does the goal reside in better experiences for the body? Then, why aren’t sex workers the happiest? Are we really the body, or are an observer of it?

Who is it that feels bad? Who is it that faces these battles? Who is that wants to be liberated?

Consciousness, isn’t it? The consciousness does not need battles, it has seen many. Millions of years of history have been threaded on the cloth of consciousness and it has no interest in these battles. Why? Because battles are temporary. When you were 10 years old, convincing your parents to take you to the town fair seemed a really hard battle to fight, isn’t it? You won. Then you arrived in your teenage years and moving on from that harsh breakup seemed so tough, probably one of the greatest battles you fought, isn’t it? But, you won. You got over it. Now, you want to make a living, you want to earn money, buy a house, a car maybe and go on vacations and my god, what all do you put in for it! Time changes and so do the battles. But, did any of these battles lead you to peace? You’re miserable, more than ever. More than you have ever been. Your battles have grown big now, and so has your want for peace but it’s like catching your own tail. Battles are temporary, battles are deceiving, battles are false.

A war is real. A war big enough that makes you attempt the impossible and makes you perish in the process of it. A war that indulges you in it, absorbs every bit of your consciousness, purifies your conscience and blows your mind out of proportions. A war big enough that consumes every bit of your waking hour and extracts the best out of you. A war that has no end. A war that forces you to kill them who you call your own. A war that kills you from inside but makes you from within. A war that kills and makes you at the same time. A war that gives you rebirth. A war that perishes you at the same time. A war that is causes the massacre of contradictions and logic. A war that you hate. A war that you love, too. A war that sets fire to logic. A war that supersedes god. A war that makes you find you.

A war, that brings you at war.

~Ankit Vats (At War | 29/08/23)

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llorando-en-el-cielo · 1 year

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doing the TC challenge bc i feel i haven’t really introduced my TC :))

1. describe your tc's physical appearance.

~ roughly 5’0, blonde hair with brown roots, wears glasses , has blue eyes and thin lips

2. what was the first thing you've ever said to your tc?

~ i was lost on the first day because i read my timetable wrong so she gave me directions

3. is your tc single or taken? or are you unsure? and are you single or taken?

~ married for 26 years but it’s okay i can fix her, i’m very single

4. is your tc more of the athletic type, the nerdy type or the artsy type?

~ mix of nerdy and artsy, very appreciative of culture, arts and literature, whilst also very interested in etymology and grammar.

5. if you and your to were in high school together, do you think you'd be friends?

~yesss we’re the only people at the school who like her subject so i think we’d have that in common, plus we have a very similar set of interests and want the same things in life sooo!!

6. name one song that reminds you of your tc and explain why that song reminds you of them.

~ Reel Around the Fountain - The Smiths

“It's time the tale were told, Of how you took a child, And you made him old”

“I dreamt about you last night, And I fell out of bed twice, You can pin and mount me like a butterfly. But, "Take me to the haven of your bed" Was something that you never said”

“Oh, people see no worth in you, Oh, but I do”

7. is your tc fashionable or are they more of the simple type? what is one outfit you'd love to see them wear?

~ very simple, just blazers and trousers with the occasional scarf (suits her so well tho, im weak in the knees fr), i’ve seen pictures of her in jeans tho and i’d sell my soul to see that irl

8. would you be willing to become a teacher and teach your tc's subject if it meant you two could be together?

literally what i want to do in the future

9 . does your tc drink or smoke?

~ she drinks but hates smoking and vaping

10. name one item that is always on your tc's desk.

~ idk man that thing is a mess, but she has like unnecessarily big post it notes that she loves sm??

11. has your to ever done anything that has either thrown you off, annoyed you, angered you or bothered you in any way? if so, what did they do?

~ deadnamed me 💀 but she apologised and now we’re bffs so it’s okay

12. does your tc have any past jobs that you know of, before becoming a teacher?

~ waitressing apparently?? but i think that’s just when she was at uni, she’s always been a teacher

13. does your tc have kids or siblings? if so, how many:

~ 3 siblings and 2 children

14. are you taking your tc's class next year?

~ thankfully yes, but it’s my last year with her im gonna be so sad :((

15. has your tc ever met your parents? if you were there, what was the meeting like?

~ yes several times, they’re all very kind to each other but sometimes i complain to her abt my parents so idk how she actually feels abt them lol

16. has your tc ever given you detention? if so, what was it like?

~ never i’m a child of god

17. has your tc ever failed you? if so, how did you react? if not, how would you react?

~ no , i revise her subject for hours a week so i’d be so pissed if i ever did

18. what are your tc's hobbies/interests? are they similar to yours?

~ we have similar interests bc we both like her subject and i’m pretty sure she enjoys photography. i think that she used to knit bc we always talk about that but idk if she still does

19. have you ever spoken on the phone with your tc? what did you talk about?

~ once but before i was attached to her, it was during lockdown and she wanted to tell me how much she liked my work

20. if you had your tc's class during quarantine, what were your zoom calls like? if not, have you spoken to your tc since quarantine?

~ i don’t really remember but i’d love to sit on call with her now LMAO

21. if you had the chance to go anywhere in the world with your tc, where would you go? what would you do?

~ i’d take her to the sagrada familia bc she loves it (and you can get married there)

22. does your tc have any nicknames for you?

~ no but she thoroughly enjoys seeing me in the corridor and just shouting HUMAN at me

23. have you ever cried in front of your tc? why? how did they react?

~ many times, but she’s very sweet and just lets me sit and process whatever is going on, or tries to distract me as much as possible, and it’s against guidelines to touch me but she said she wished she could give me a big hug sooo

24. have you ever walked/drove to/from school with your tc?

~ noo we live on opposite ends of our town :((

25. do you know which teachers your tc is friends with at school? if so, do you like those teachers?

~ i’ve never really spoken to them much but they all seem quite sweet and i can see why she gets along with them

26. why does your tc's voice sound like?

~ AREEGEJEHDHSJSJDJXJJSSJJS THE BEST NOISE EVER JFJDJHEHDKDJDJDDJ ASMR ISTG

27. do you like your tc as a teacher? are they a good teacher?

~ yes, very, a little disorganised but she has the spirit!!

28. does your tc prefer books, shows or movies?

~ she used to read a lot but idk if she still does, but i think she prefers movies to shows

29. is your tc stern or easy going, in class?

~ very strict, avid rule follower but she’s very sweet as long as you respect her wishes and it annoys me that people get so pissy with her about it?? just listen to her?????

30. how would you describe you and your tc's relationship?

~ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, i hope she likes me and i do think she does and she always seems quite happy to talk to me?

31. do you address your tc by their first or last name?

~ last name, it feels weird to call her by her first name

#female tc #tc blog #tc community #tc confessions #tc feelings #tc post #teacher crush #tc #tc crush

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