#Witty Blog Post

[lucifermurdock]

No.1 Secret Skill: James Bond with A License To Chill.

Daily writing promptWhat’s a secret skill or ability you have or wish you had?View all responses My Secret Skill Wish? When people talk about superpowers or secret skills, you’ll hear things like:“I wish I could fly.”“I wish I could time-travel.”“I wish I could teleport past my boss’s Zoom meetings.” But me?I wish I had the chiseled composure, mental A.I., and action-movie reflexes of one…

[bunnyboy-juice]

🫶🏽

[landinrris]

Blogs I follow reblogging posts from blogs that have me blocked should be illegal

[the-knife-consumer]

Was going to be a part of something larger but i dont feel like it so here she is again

[ask-ginger-chara]

As I sit here waiting for something to appear in my ask box, I wonder. . . is this what tigers feel like when they don't get any enrichment items in their enclosure? Is this an enclosure? Is tumblr just a people zoo? I should probably go to bed lol

[oneguardian15]

anyone wanna recommend some books for me to put on my newly revived tbr list? i like fantasy mostly (anything from witches to dragons to magic to fairies to vampires to angels & demons (i am a former good omens blog after all) etc) i love romance but not thrilled about sex. i can read it but i don’t want it to be too heavy with it. can be older or newer series/stand alones as well.

right now i’m reading fourth wing by rebecca yarros because my best friend recommended it to me (she just finished reading it). i’m almost halfway through and liking it so far.

also it doesn’t necessarily have to be a “good” book, because “good” is subjective anyway. different things make a story good to different people. plus sometimes things don’t have to be “good” for them to be enjoyable. “guilty” pleasures are soooo welcome

i’ll be honest, i’m 29 and i haven’t really read a real book since i was in late high school, early college? (like just for fun, ykwim?) don’t judge me pls.

(in my defense, i read a TON of good omens (and a few other fandoms) fanfic that were definitely long enough to be books so. it’s not like i don’t read. but that’s been a couple years now too.) plus i read comics (webtoons) and manga sometimes, which in my opinion counts.

[tbh-entp]

i once told my 1-yr older friend (he was 18) that i was acc 20 y/o cus when i moved to england i couldn’t speak a word of it so i had to be held back a few yrs..i didn’t think he believed it until one of our mutual teachers corrected him 💀

ig entps rlly can just say anything 🫡

Legitimately, I don't even think I say things like this to make people believe me. At least on my side, my humor is absurdism. (Tumblr humor is quite absurd) So this is just a note to readers that saying wild stuff with a straight face isn't necessarily malicious intent.

I've done this much less with getting older because I have no intention to make someone feel as if they're being made fun of (unless someone has a similar sense of humor aka my friendsss). Additionally, I truly want and enjoy it when people to challenge the weird things I say just for the brain exercise of making something ridiculous... make sense. (Ne-Ti in the works)

So just a little insight to the non-entps as to what's going on here.

[red-dazes]

This felt particularly targeted at me. So much so that I felt the need to write something here just to prove I can.

i am afraid of people who reblog things with no tags. not even any identifiers like the show it’s from or anything. just silence. what are you thinking?? hello??

[wittybibliophile]

MAY 4 ( LATE POST )

Things were good between us. Since getting back, that something that I’d thought before had changed, had changed even more. It was like he’d gotten back and decided… something.

Some part of me knew that he wouldn’t have done everything he had for me and with me if he was indifferent, landlord or not. Friend or not. Finding people attractive was one thing. But liking other things about a person, their personalities, was something else entirely.

I wasn’t sure what exactly was going on, it felt different than friendship somehow, but I could see it in the way that he had accepted my hug that first day he’d gotten home and squeezed me back tightly. It was in the way he would touch my shoulders and my hand randomly. But mostly it was in the way that he talked to me. In the weight of that purple-gray gaze. I ate up every single word out of his mouth after dinner when we sat around the table, and he told me a lot of things.

Why he’d chosen the Navy—because he thought he loved the ocean. He didn’t anymore; he’d seen more of it than most people would in a lifetime. That he’d had that Bronco since he was seventeen and had spent the last twenty-five years working on it. That he’d lived in Italy, Washington, Hawaii, and all over the East Coast.

I found out his favorite vegetable was brussels sprouts, and that he hated sweet potatoes and eggplant. He was generous and kind. He cleaned my windshield off in the mornings if there was ice on it. He’d become a district wildlife manager—his official title—because he had always loved animals and someone had to protect them. And in that moment, this man who loved scary movies, looked so, so tired.

- All Rhodes Lead Here (Mariana Zapata)

Xoxo,

Ironically Witty!

[disarchive]

i need to unfollow every person on tumblr these people are somehow both pretentious as fuck and losers

[pukicho]

if I hear the phrase no hate like Christian love one more time I’m gonna end up in the news

being Christian has nothing to do with being a bigot

if you’re a bigot you’re a bigot, it’s your own fault you’re choosing the “don’t be a bigot” religion as your scapegoat

It’s clear you don’t care about this, though

not all Christian’s are assholes

Just because the assholes speak the loudest doesn’t mean they speak for the rest of us

I know this anon is useless, bc you don’t ever fucking reflect on what you say or do, even when someone calls you out on it

you just make witty retorts and everyone is in your side bc you’re internet famous, and you stay an asshole, just as judgemental as the “Christian” lnationalists and conservatives you say you hate

I don’t think you’re representing Christianity in a particularly level-headed manner with this comment! I’ve also outright admitted when I was wrong plenty of times on this blog. Anyways, that post was an obvious joke, If you wanted to ask me what I really felt about Christianity you could’ve just asked, you fucking weirdo.

[itsabardknocklife]

Hey everyone, get a load of Lorroakan out here reblogging posts about how awesome Rolan is like he had anything to do with that. L M A O Get Wreckt

I have to wonder if Rolan ever realizes how far he got. How close he was to Moonrise Towers.

Protected by nothing but a torch.

We have Isobel's blessing, a moonlantern/DollyDollyDolly's blessing, and all he has... is a torch. He's within spitting distance of Moonrise, all by himself, surrounded by burning Shadow Ravens and Vestiges, and he's fine. Ruffled, frustrated, and scared, but alive and able to return to the Last Light Inn on his own.

With a torch.

We're not better than him. We're not more powerful than he is. We're just better equipped and travel in a pack.

[heart-shaped-chains]

"Are you kidding me? To exist is to suffer. But what are ya gonna do?" - James A Janisse

[scarletfasinera]

"That's not what Luddism is but go off moron!!! Luddism is actually this definition I completely made up that only I believe."

[hoodieimp]

@ the anon from last night: just had a complete brainfart n deleted your ask while trying to answer it, but thanks for the mention abt the JSTOR post, deleted my reblog

[theseasideskies]

The largest Vaquitas are only 1.5 meters (5 feet) long, two inches shorter than Kevin Hart (though in a pleasing symmetry, they are two inches taller than Danny DeVito).

I'm sorry that line took me out LMAO

The world's smallest cetacean has been pushed to the brink of extinction by illegal fishing. Is it too late to save it? Consider: the Vaquita