#Women's stress and anxiety relief

[diabetesandprediabetes]

General Health Made Easy: 10 Simple Tips for a Vibrant Life

In today's fast-paced world, maintaining good health is essential for leading a fulfilling life. General health encompasses various aspects of our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. To achieve optimal well-being, we need to focus on adopting healthy habits, prioritizing self-care, and staying informed about the latest wellness trends. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore the key components of general health and provide practical tips to help you enhance your overall well-being.

1. Understanding the Foundations of General Health General health is not just about the absence of illness; it's about feeling vibrant and energized in our daily lives. It begins with a solid foundation that includes a balanced diet, regular exercise, and sufficient rest. Proper nutrition provides our bodies with essential nutrients to function optimally, while staying physically active improves cardiovascular health and boosts mood. Ensuring an adequate amount of sleep helps in the body's recovery and rejuvenation.

2. The Importance of Mental Health Mental health is an integral part of general health. It affects how we think, feel, and act, impacting our overall well-being. Practicing mindfulness and stress management techniques can significantly reduce anxiety and improve mental clarity. Engaging in activities that bring joy and purpose to life can have a positive impact on our mental state.

3. Holistic Approach to Well-Being Taking a holistic approach means considering all aspects of health, including physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being. It involves identifying and addressing the root causes of any imbalances, rather than just treating symptoms. Holistic practices, such as yoga and meditation, can help in achieving harmony and balance in our lives.

4. Building Healthy Habits Creating healthy habits is the key to sustainable well-being. Start by setting small, achievable goals and gradually incorporating them into your daily routine. Drinking plenty of water, eating fruits and vegetables, and getting regular exercise are some foundational habits that can lead to significant improvements in general health.

5. Prioritizing Self-Care In our busy lives, it's essential to prioritize self-care. This means making time for activities that recharge and rejuvenate us. Whether it's spending time in nature, reading a book, or simply taking a relaxing bath, self-care is essential for reducing stress and enhancing overall happiness.

6. The Role of Preventive Care Preventive care is crucial for maintaining general health. Regular check-ups and screenings can help identify potential health issues early on, allowing for timely interventions. Vaccinations, as part of preventive care, can protect against various diseases and boost immunity.

7. The Power of Exercise Exercise is a powerful tool for enhancing general health. It not only improves physical fitness but also has significant mental health benefits. Engaging in regular physical activity can reduce the risk of chronic diseases and improve mood and cognition.

8. Mindful Eating for Well-Being Mindful eating involves paying close attention to what and how we eat. It encourages savoring each bite and being aware of hunger and fullness cues. By practicing mindful eating, we can develop a healthier relationship with food and enjoy a more balanced diet.

9. Coping with Stress

Discover effective strategies to manage stress and improve well-being.

Stress is an inevitable part of life, but how we cope with it matters. Developing effective stress management techniques, such as deep breathing exercises and meditation, can help us handle stressors more effectively and promote better mental health.

10. Embracing a Supportive Community A strong support system can significantly impact our general health. Surrounding ourselves with positive and caring individuals can provide emotional nourishment and help us navigate life's challenges with resilience.

General Health Hacks: Boost Your Well-Being with Science-Backed Tips (Read More...)

Achieving and maintaining general health is an ongoing journey that requires dedication and commitment. By adopting healthy habits, prioritizing self-care, and being mindful of our physical and mental well-being, we can attain optimal overall health. Remember that small steps and consistent efforts lead to significant improvements in our general health and well-being. Let's embrace a holistic approach to health and embark on a fulfilling and healthier life journey.

Thank You for Your Support

[eatclean-bewhole]

[artoflifehealingarts]

"Explore the deep connection between beauty, self-awareness, and perception. It's not just about looks—it's about seeing clearly, making empowered choices, and embracing your true, radiant self."

🔍 Beauty goes beyond the surface—it's about clarity, empowerment, and embracing your unique essence. Enhance your self-perception and elevate to your highest potential. Click the link to explore more!

For women, men, all inclusive Beauty and Perception 😎

[lunaoyabun]

can you do jjk men x finding out their so self harms if ur comfy w writing that?

Sure, but I hope you're fine?! 😕🙏🏻🩵✨️

Tags: Triggerwarning!self-harm, fluff, angst, depression, minor characters are aged up

How jjk men react if they find out y/n self harms:

Gojo:

I believe he saw it coming but couldn't stop you because he wasn't there to stop you. He's very aware of you and your feelings and feels bad about the fact that he has to work so much and can't be there for you as much as he wants. It was one of those nights where your depression and anxiety reached your limits, and Gojo was already away for two weeks. You didn't text him as much as the days before, and even though he had another week of work, he cut it short and came home as soon as you didn't pick up the phone. He found you in the bathroom, sitting in front of the tub crying your heart out. As soon as he heard your whimper he rushed through the door and almost broke the door handle as he slides over to you on his knees, taking away the scissors/blade you used carefully and throw it into the tub, before he pulled you into his arms. "Shh, don't cry. It's okay... I'm here" he hushed while he almost crushed you in his embrace. His heart was racing, and you could hear his heavy breath while he was rocking you both back and forth. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he would ask carefully. And whatever you decide in this moment, he would make sure to take care of you as you need. Whatever that is. Questions could be asked later when you're more stable. He wants to make sure that you're feeling safe first and help you clean the blood and patch you up without saying anything because he doesn't want to trigger you. After that, he would make sure, that you don't feel to bad about what you did and tell you something like it's battle scars against yourself and everytime you feel like that again you should look at them and try to win this battle this time and not hurt yourself. And it helped. He really wants to make sure that you feel strong and safe. You would also joke about it when you're more stable a curse could never leave scars on you and that you're the strongest women and curses should watch out that you don't give them those scars instead.

Choso:

When he first saw your scars, he thought you had them from a battle. But after he found out you did this to yourself, he couldn't believe how you could do this. After you explained to him why you do that and that it's kind of a stress relief for you, he looked at you deadpan and pulled up his sleeve. "Do what you need to but not on your arm. Use mine. I can heal it, and I don't want you to feel any pain. If you really need to cut flesh, cut mine." And he was so serious about it, that everytime he sees you, he searched your whole body up for new scars and if he would ever find one, he would cut himself on the exact same place and refuse to heal it so you match scars. He really can't stand seeing you in pain. He adores you too much for his own good.

Megumi:

This guy probably wouldn't really know how to react and maybe even got mad at first since he doesn't understand why you do this to yourself. But similar to Choso, I feel like he would use some kind of emotional manipulation to stop you from doing it. He wouldn't hurt himself though but he's so scared that you feel this bad that even if he doesn't like texting that much he would make sure to shoot you enough texts throughout the day so that you don't ever feel lonely or tempted enough to do it again. Be prepared for lots of cuddle sessions. He's not good with words, but his actions will show.

Yuji:

This guy saw your scars multiple times and never knew what they were from. But lately you got new ones and your stories don't really match up anymore so he searched up 'visible scars on the wrist' and was so shocked to find out about self-harm, that he immediately visited you and as soon as you opened the door he hugged you and started to cry. "Please don't hurt yourself again! Talk to me when you feel lonely or depressed! We can search for a therapist or something! Or do you want to try some meds? Or we could have more fun dates! Or just stay in bed all day! Whatever you want but please, don't hurt yourself!" He would feel so helpless and guilty, even though it's not his fault. He loves you so much that it hurts him to know what you're going through, and he makes sure to be the best boyfriend possible so that you don't have to ever self-harm again. And every time before going to sleep, he would ask you about your day and how you feel. He literally became your diary and would try his hardest to help you with whatever you're going through at the moment.

Sukuna:

Would look at your scars deadpan and call you pathetic. "If something or someone bothers you, why would you hurt yourself? That's stupid. Just change it. Seek for justice. And if you can't handle shit yourself, ask me. Don't do stupid shit like that, silly human." He would be annoyed and maybe even don't really know why it upset him so much. He doesn't know why he's so interested in you in the first place, but something about you makes him not want to kill you immediately. Even though you're just a pathetic human. If he ever sees you with a new scar, be prepared that he will find out what made you do this and handle it himself. No questions asked. Be careful with names. He would even kill your friends and family if they're the reason for your struggle. "Come here, women. 'Need to check for new scars. Don't keep anything secret from me. I'll find out. Whoever fucks with you, fucks with me. Understood?" And yes, he literally searches up your whole body for new scars and even if their just from your cat or something, you'll have to make sure to have a good reason and explanation for a new scar. Or else he's going on a killing spree.

Toji:

Similar to Sukuna, I believe he would become mad at whoever makes you do something like this to yourself. "Just talk to me. There are so much better resolutions than fucking hurting yourself, babe. Tsk... look at those..." he would hold your wrist up for you to see your scars and look into your eyes. "Do you really want to remember the pain people gave you? Do you really want to look back at those scars and remember shit people did to you?" Even though he's grumpy, he would hug you more, make sure you feel safe and call you from time to time when he's at work. Later on, he would try to convince you to cover up those scars with a tattoo. "You would look so sexy with a tattoo, babe. Let's make sure you forget this shit and look at something you want to remember." Maybe he would get the same tattoo to match you, same spot and all. It would be his kind of affection and promise that he'll always stay by your side and that you won't cut your beautiful skin there again. And even if you feel bad to ruin the tattoo with new scars, if you ever tried to self-harm on another spot on your skin, he would make sure to make you cover that up too. "If you need the pain so badly, just get your whole body tattooed. This way, we could spare the time going through the healing process of your ugly scars." Ugly because what people did to you made you do them.

I'll stop it here since I'm going out of ideas rn. If you want a part two, let me know and who I should include there. I hope you like it! 🙏🏻🩵✨️ stay safe~

[justmyguiltyggpleasure]

Giselle x Fem Reade - Do Me as a Favor

Summary: Giselle was sick for a few days and missed practice. Having to stay overtime, she was anxious, exhausted, and frustrated. Luckily, you decided to stay behind with her and as her best friend, is your duty to help take her mind off of things.

Dynamics: Top!reader/Bottom!idol

Genre: Smut;

Warnings: +18; oral; fingering; (not much in this one)

Giselle was frustrated, it was always a bit stressful when you had to prepare award ceremony performances, but having missed 3 days of practice due to being sick, she had to make up for the lost time. Which resulted in staying behind after practice ended, she's been doing it for a week and was fed up. She couldn't sleep properly because her mind was always running with things that could go wrong and how the hell was she going to keep up with you girls. She didn't even have the time or energy to get herself off, the sexual frustration plus the exhaustion and anxiety were making her frustrated beyond belief.

- You girls can go ahead, I guess I'll stay behind with Aeri today. I want to go over some steps I'm still not confident in. - Aeri looks at you smiling widely from her sprawled on the floor like a starfish position.

- You're staying with me?!

- Yes, I am. Maybe we can help each other. You seem to have nailed the steps I'm insecure about. - you say, Aeri sits up and nods.

- For sure!

You said your goodbyes to the girls and started practicing right away.

(Almost 2 hours later)

- Let's take a break. - Aeri says pausing the music and taking a sip from her water bottle.

You sit on the floor with your back against the couch, breath harbored and Aeri offers you her water bottle. You thank her and take a big sip, a drop escaping from the corner of your mouth and running down your neck, Aeri follows every movement.

- Can I ask you something? - you nod. - Do me as a favor.

You blink twice before laughing.

- Don't you mean do you a favor?

- No. I mean exactly what I said.

- Is this a joke?

- No... You don't have to tho. Is just... I've been so frustrated lately and way to tired to do anything about it. You've always said I'm pretty so being attractive is not an issue. You've been with girls before and always talk about your crushes in women so I know for a fact you're not strai-

- I'll do it. - interrupting her rambling you answer her request.

- Really?! - her head perked up and you chuckled.

- Are you surprised? I've said it before, you're gorgeous, besides, we trust each other. I just need you to assure me that it won't become a problem between us later. I'm not willing to bet our friendship on some sexual relief. - you end it seriously.

- I promise it won't. I wouldn't bet our friendship on anything.

- Good. Come here. - you pat your lap for her to sit on it and she widens her eyes.

- What? N-now?

- Now is as good a time as any. Manager-unnie is coming to pick us up in a few and I have a feeling you're not the quietest person in bed so I don't think we can do that with anyone around. - she seems to understand your point and crawls to you, straddling your lap with her hands holding your shoulders. You hold her waist and look in her eyes. - Are you sure you wanna do this?

- Yes. - she doesn't hesitate in her answering so you don't hesitate to capture her lips in a kiss which she reciprocates sighing.

- How do you like it? - you ask kissing down her jaw, chin and neck.

- Hm? - you pull away only to be greeted with the sight of Aeri with her eyes closed, biting her bottom lip. It makes you smile

- Would you like it fast and rough or slow and sensual. - you graze your teeth on he earlobe and she sighs again squeezing your shoulders

- I want whatever you're willing to give me. Just give me something, anything. - at this point she was already rocking on your lap and you were starting to lose it.

- Ok. - grabbing a fistful of her hair you pull her into a bruising kiss, smiling into it when you hear her moan. Your other hand on her hip willing her to keep on moving .

She takes it upon herself to deepen the kiss swiping her tongue across your lips to which you let her in without hesitation, moaning when your tongues meet.

She pulls away panting, looking at you with hooded eyes while opening your oversized button up. Following her you pull her shirt over her head, noticing how her bra clasp was at the front, your hand goes for it but before opening you look at her for consent. She nods.

The sight before you makes your mouth water. The cold air of the aircon making her nipples instantly harden.

- I've always had a thing for your boobs y'know?

- Everybody knows that. You're always looking at them. - she says rolling her eyes, smiling teasingly and you smile back - Pervert

That's the last thing she says before throwing her head back with a moan when your mouth goes for her right nipple, your hand pulling on the left one.

You were having fun noticing she was growing desperate by how she was grinding harder against your lap. That is before her phone started ringing.

She groaned before picking it up from the ground and putting it against her ear without looking who it was.

- What?! - frustration evident in her voice. - oh, yes, unnie. Hm... yeah - your lips went back to nipple, your hand rubbing her pussy through her pants. Before she could hold herself back, she moans. Aeri slaps your back and you chuckle agaisnt her skin. - I'm fine, I just hit my knee... okay. We'll be waiting. Let us know when you get here.

- What is it?

- Manager-unnie is coming to get us. Guess fun is over. - she motions to get up and you pull her back.

- We just have to be quick. We have less than 15 minutes. - this time you don't wait to put your hand inside her panties moving your middle and ring fingers in circles on her clit.

- Oh fuck - her voice is breathy. Head thrown back giving you access to her neck where you give open-mouthed kisses and graze your teeth lightly so you leave no marks.

Her soft moans are like music to your ears. The way she moves her hips on your hand drives you crazy.

Pulling your hand away Aeri whines. Biting her lip when she sees you suck your fingers

- Sit on the couch - she does so with no questions, lifting her hips when you pull on her pants and panties altogether. - Open your legs for me.

Her cheeks are in a pink shade. Aeri feels shy all of a sudden but she knows there's no time for embarrassment now so she does as you ask. You look in her eyes yet again searching for some reassurance and she nods.

You close your eyes before running you flattened tongue from her entrance to her clit and you find yourself dripping by her smell and taste and the way her hole closes around nothing, you repeat the motion a few times. One of her hands gripping your hair the other one pulling on her nipple. You look at her face only to be greeted with an Aeri with her face flushed, eyes closed, eyes furrowed but what got to you was the way she smiled while biting her lip.

Pulling her to the edge of couch by her thighs you put her legs around your shoulder. One hand snaking around her leg, resting on the top of her mound pulling back so the hood of her clit no longer covers it. Again you flatten your tongue and rests it at the top of her clit moving ever so lightly so it doesn't hurt her. She hums in approval.

Your free hand travels up her leg, squeezing her inner thigh then positioning two fingers on her entrance. Pushing in slowly while kissing her inner thigh, she gasps when you suck on her inner thigh leaving a mark close to her crotch.

You move your fingers experimentally enjoying her moans.

- F-faster... please... - and you comply. Who are you not to do exactly what a pretty girl asks.

The faster you move the louder she gets. Pulling on her own nipples, her pussy squeezing your fingers, you knew she was close so you go back to suckling on her clit.

Her moans are borderline pornographic at this point and you were praying no one was around or close to the studio.

- I'm gonna cum... I'm gonna cum... please don't stop... Please.... - you didn't. If anything you moved your fingers faster and suckered harder. Letting out the longest moan she arches her back from the couch and you help her with her high.

You pull your fingers out just in time for her phone to vibrate again. You pick it up to let her recover.

- Hello? Ah, yes. We're coming. - turning off the call you look at her and smile. - we gotta go.

- okay. - Aeri stands up on shaky legs and you take it upon yourself to help her get dressed. Aeri looks at you and laughs, you follow her.

- what?

- Your chin. - she cleans her own cum from you lips and chin then peck your lip. - Thank you. Maybe I can return the favor later.

- Wanna shower together when we get home? - you offer.

- I'm dying to.

Taking her hand you pull her out of the door towards the elevator. Both running along the corridors of the building giggling like two teenagers.

Well, Giselle wasn't that frustrated anymore.

___________________>_<_________________

Want to be tagged?

[chosos-mascara]

can u maybe do a jealous! gojo x manhunter!reader where gojo, reader, shoko, and geto are all just hanging around the city and reader is just "ooh look shoko, that guy's handsome" or "omg did u see that? that guy was totally a hottie" which got gojo all fired up and jealous? :0

jealous gojo x reader drabble (with shoko and suguru)

"I'm just saying, he's cute." Teasing tone and playful smirk, you glance toward Satoru to judge the reaction you so desperately wanted. You'd been correct to predict annoyance - he displays this through a scoff and harsh shake of head, right before biting back with a snarky comment.

"He's just as generic as the last guy." He speaks with a large amount of bitterness, eyes beneath tinted shades following said male until out of sight. Shoko brought an arm over your shoulders, catching onto the rouse much before the white head of hair would. "See, Satoru..." Her pause was merely for dramatic effect, a palm to forehead as she leaned against you for a little more support. "You don't get it. Women like a real man."

You could feel Gojo's eyes burning into the backs of your heads - he was too easy to get a rise out of. Suguru tuts beside him, narrowing his eyes toward his anger-fueled friend. He’s too shy to admit his feelings, yet had been so obviously in love with you.

"I think what Satoru is trying to say, is that -" He glances toward him with a sigh. "He cares about your well-being. Wouldn't want you dating someone who couldn't take care of you."

Satoru side eyes his friend behind his shades, parting lips to spit a reply, though reluctantly refraining. He instead puffs out a short breath, ignoring the twang of hurt within his chest to instead revert back to the personality he defaults to in times of stress.

"Nah, I don't care about that - just thinking that a guy like him wouldn't date you in a million years." Satoru's smile feels too forced, but you buy it. "Oh, really? Is that a challenge?"

You stop, turning on heal with hand on hip. Both Shoko and Suguru internally cringe, a shared glance to signify their shared concern.

"I'll go ask him out, then." Spoken through gritted teeth, you take a step forward - though you don't make it far before you have Suguru's hand meeting your shoulder, a hardened expression and gentle shake of head. "Let it go." Although the command had come across more intrusive than through anxiety, you take a shallow breath inward to calm yourself.

"You're right - I was just teasing Satoru." There's a pause following your sentence, though you ignore the stagnant air.

A tint of rose tickles Satoru's cheeks for only a few seconds, but you don't miss it. Through silence you focus your attention toward him, trying your best to hold a genuine expression while speaking slowly, shyly.

"I'm sorry."

Of course, Gojo doesn't show his relief in the matter, simply laughing before waltzing toward you, his arm firmly replacing Suguru's grip. "I knew you liked me."

You roll your eyes, but don't bite back. Satoru's embrace lasts much longer than it had needed to, getting to the school gate before he removes his possessiveness. But, your shoulders do feel a little colder without it.

an: the 'real man' comment made my skin crawl but reader is just teasing gojo ok they don't mean it

[ghxstlike]

i love loving you

leon kennedy x reader content/warnings: petnames (baby), leon being awkward, leon antics, awkward flirting, teasing, cigarette mention, leon’s music taste, anxiety mention, nightmare mention. authors note: i am down bad for this man. he is rotting my brain and i am very okay with it. these are personal headcanons :)

leon's smile always starts out as a smirk. it's very cute.

always has a hand on you. around your shoulders, holding your hand, lightly gripping your thigh. he wants other people to know that you're taken- you're his.

he is a slightly possessive and jealous man. if someone is flirting with you, his eyes are narrowed at the person who is way too close to you, and his leg is bouncing with anxiety.

sooner or later, he saunters over to the two of you and wraps an arm around your shoulders.

"hey, baby," he whispers in your ear, but it was loud enough for the person in front of you to hear. you shiver, slightly leaning into leon's embrace.

when you first met leon, you were immediately attracted to him. so, of course, you started to flirt with him.

though, he isn't dumb. he knew you were flirting with him (he was flirting back, after all). he teased you for it, obviously.

"are you flirting with me?" he says with a smirk. leon leaned down to get closer to your face, tilting his head.

people say that leon is a flirting machine and is good with women. no he is not.

i mean, yes, he does flirt a lot, but he is not good with women at all.

you found it very charming and cute when he asked you out. a huge smile was plastered on your face, staring at the nervous man in front of you.

“i- hm, i was just- fuck. i was wondering if you, i dunno,” he clears his throat. his face is slightly pink, but he thinks that his face is a deep red by how hot his body feels. “do you want to go get dinner with me sometime?” he manages to get out. he sighs out of relief- he did it. he feels a drop of sweat roll down his temple onto his cheek, shoving his clammy hands into his jean pockets.

of course, you said yes. i mean, who wouldn’t?

y’all aren’t gonna like this, but he definitely smokes cigarettes.

i mean c’mon, he was born in 1977. though, he didn’t willingly start smoking. his friends in high-school peer pressured him.

he tried to stop smoking before his first day at rpd, but it failed miserably. he felt antsy and he was more on edge- angry. he hated that he got easily frustrated with people. he’ll try again someday.

he smells like cigarette smoke and leather. occasionally he smells like coconut & patchouli (his cologne).

always has a stress toy with him. i like to think he wears a fidget ring on his middle finger or thumb. playing with a stress ball or twirling a pen makes him more focused and calm.

bites the inside of his cheek when he’s deep in thought. he doesn’t even notice that he’s doing it, it just happens.

his music taste is decent!

he doesn’t listen to the radio, thinks 2010 music is trash and it’s annoying.

it’s mostly a combination between 90s alt & grunge and early 2000’s rock. his favorite band is radiohead.

always gives eye contact. never looks away when you're talking, especially when you're talking about your long day at work or something you're passionate about.

as we all may know, he's bad at communicating his feelings. you can tell he's getting better with it, but it's still a challenge for him.

he never talks about raccoon city. you only found out about this from overhearing a conversation he had with claire. you brought it up one time, but he fell silent and never looked up at you. ever since then, you never talked about it with him.

mans suffers with frequent nightmares, so obviously he never sleeps. when he's with you though, he doesn't have any nightmares. so, he stays up until you're ready for bed.

when you're out late, he's waiting for you in bed.

leon loves to get his hair played with. he loves the feeling of your nails lightly scratching his scalp.

if you take meds, he always reminds you to take them. he also watches you take them, just in case.

leon always wants the best for you. he just loves you, so so much.

[vodika-vibes]

Could I request a smutty Wolffe x fem reader with ruby in spring? Where Wolffe and reader are in a no strings attached relationship and yet reader is in love with Wolffe?

April Showers

Summary: You have a friends with benefits type relationship with Wolffe, and the rules were simple. Keep it secret, and don’t catch feelings. The first one is easy…the last one, not so much.

Pairing: Commander Wolffe x F!Reader

Word Count: 735

Warnings: Smut

Prompts: Ruby - Passionate Love

Tagging:@trixie2023 @n0vqni

A/N: I hope this is close to what you wanted! It's kind of hard to make good smut happen in less than 1000 words, but I think I made it work. Also, there's not really any mention of spring time, aside from the rain. Sorry.

It’s raining again. You can hear the rain pounding against the glass of your bedroom, loud enough that it would have woken you, if you hadn’t already been awake.

It’s getting harder and harder to sleep through the night, with your anxiety plaguing your thoughts at all hours of the day.

Your anxiety centered on one, very important, aspect of your life.

Your relationship with Wolffe.

It started out as stress relief and a way to get some much needed relief. You’re one of the few women stationed to the 104th, and Wolffe has always been polite and respectful. Falling into bed with him (or a storage closet, or his desk, or the training room-) had been easy.

The pair of you even came up with two, very simple, rules. Rule one, keep it a secret. No one would approve of the Commander of the 104th having mind blowing sex with an IT Tech, after all. Rule two, no catching feelings. This was a strictly no-strings attached liaison. 

It’s the second rule that you’re struggling with. 

Because the more often you fall into bed with Wolffe, the stronger your feelings for him grow.

And it’s becoming a problem. 

The last thing you want is to end this liaison. But you know that if Wolffe finds out, he’ll cut you off and pretend it never happened. And you’re not sure you’d be able to remain with the 104th if that happened.

You press your arm over your tired eyes, and finally roll out of bed. It’s late enough in the day that you can get up and start doing stuff without feeling guilty about not sleeping. Besides, maybe if you get up and move around you’ll actually get tired enough to sleep.

Needless to say, you're surprised when, as you’re sipping your morning caf, the doorbell rings. You’re even more surprised when you open the door and see Wolffe standing there.

You blink at him, as he pushes his way into your home, your mind racing. You’re pretty sure that you didn’t have to report to the ship this morning. Right?

You follow him into your living room, “Wolffe?” You’re now very confused, sure, he’s never been a chatty man, but he’s not normally so quiet either. “Is something wrong? Did something happen?”

He glances at you, and a small smile crosses his face, “No. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Oh, that’s good.” You say, and then you squeak when he advances on you and crashes his lips against yours, “W-Wolffe-”

He quickly strips you of your pajamas, which in this case is a long shirt and not much else, and bends you over the arm of the couch, “Need to be inside you,” Wolffe breathes into your ear, “Was dreaming about you, about this.”

His fingers slide though your folds, immediately moving to your clit, and you whimper and tighten your grip around the material of the couch. “W-what were you dreaming?” You gasp out, another whimper falling from you as he grinds his erection against your dampening slit.

He tightly grips your hip with his free hand, “You. This. But,” he slowly pushes in, “different. Better.”

You whine and roll your hips back against his, “Better?”

His free hand slides up and grips your throat, not hard enough to hurt you, but enough that you know he’s there, “You were mine,” Wolffe admits, “Only mine. I didn’t have to share you with anyone.” A particularly hard thrust pushes you to release a keening moan, “I love you. And I know the no strings attached was my rule, but I don’t kriffing care.”

“You-?” You’re not able to finish your question as he presses his chest to your back, and turns your head to catch your lips with his own.

“I’ll just make you feel so good that you won’t want anyone else.” Wolffe whispers, “No one will ever make you feel as good as me.”

You whimper, “W-Wolffe,” Your forehead falls to the couch, “Love you too.”

His hips stutter to a stop, and then he pulls out so suddenly that you let out a cry of displeasure, though all he does is flip you, and sit you on the arm of the couch before thrusting back in, he doesn’t say anything, but he does press his forehead against yours.

You’re sure that the pair of you have a lot to talk about…but talking can come later.

[rosemultitargaryen]

Mirror

Warnings: bondage, breeding kink, oral dem receiving, mirror sex.

Pairing: Husband!Dom!Aemond x Wife!Sub!reader. (Fem)

Summary: "watch me as i worship your body with every inch of mine." Aemond decided to show you just how much he appreciates you.

Word count: 101

The people crowded to see the newly weds at the ball. Aemond by your side, you ascend down the stairs with a worried expression. Your fingers grasped the fabric of his clothes in need of some relief from this newfound anxiety.

"Do you truly think i will let harm come your way?" Aemond's voice calms you slowly, his tone is authoritative yet gentle while his facial expressions are relaxed and fond.

"I do not...everyone is just...never mind." Your words struggle against your quivering lips.

Aemond comes to a halt, turning to stand before you with a gentle hand on your left arm. His other hand grasp your chin, lifting your gaze to his eye. The moment is brief before you notice that everyone is awaiting your arrival from the halls. You clear your throat, pushing past your newly made husband. Your hands grasp at your dress, lifting it to allow access for your legs to move more freely. Although you wish for them to take you elsewhere, you manage to make your way down the staircase by yourself.

The celebration ceremony proceeds, everyone coming to personally congratulate you. You begin to feel more self conscious, seeing these lovely young women with thin hourglass bodies. Yes, Aemond stressed to you that your body is the perfect make for him. However, your mind tells a very different tale.

"My love." His voice pulls you from your sickening thoughts, your hand on your stomach as you look up into his eye.

"Yes?" You ask innocently as if you weren't just thinking of ways to get rid of the weight.

"I can see your thoughts taking over you." Aemond pauses, taking a moment to move forward and grasp your face. "Need i give you a physical example of how much i worship your body?" Aemond rhetorically asks.

You swallow thickly. "No...Aemond leave me be." You dismiss his intentions, brushing past him.

A frown forms on his pale face, his eyebrows furrowing and eyes squinting as he watches you walk toward the washroom. Aemond takes note and waits for you outside, leaning up against the door with his hands crossed over his chest. His hair falling perfectly over his shoulders, tied back into his signature half up half down hairstyle. You walk out of the washroom, your face reddened from the tears. You bump into your husband, his frame blocking you from moving as his hands take you waist firmly.

"Aemond..." you mumble and his head tilts.

Aemond guides you to your now shared chambers. His hands grasping your back as he gently pushes you within the walls of the room. You're taken aback by his forceful actions. His head gestures toward the bed, you follow.

If you had learnt anything from your husband, disobedience is not accepted. You sit on the edge of the bed, hands places on your lap as you wait for the next command.

Aemond trails behind you, kneeling, his hands possess something of a leather consistency. You daren't question his actions, feeling the cool leather trickle down your bare arms. He unclips your gown, watching as it deliciously reveals your figure. Aemond stands and removes a cloth, revealing a mirror in front of you both therefore forcing you to look at your self bare.

"Aemond please, i can't stand to look at myself...please." Although you meant to sound stern your words came to be mere whimpers, ashamed of your body.

The leather whip trails down your front as Aemond kneels back behind you. The action elicits a moan from you, your eyes fluttering to a close as he grazes the material over your nipples. Aemond smirks, moving to your front as he kneels before you. His face is level with your entrance, the feeling of his breath against you makes your squirm.

"Behave." Aemond demands, lifting your legs over his shoulders.

His lips graze your clit, your hands flying to his hair for more control. Aemond's tongue presses against your hole, you force your hips forward.

"So eager, perhaps if you want to act like a whore you should join a pleasure house." He smirks.

The obscurity of his words makes something stir in you. Aemond works magic on you, making your head fall back in ecstasy. Slurs and moans fall from your lips like sweet nectar to Aemond's ears. His tongue laps up all you have to offer. As you are about to reach your release he withdraws his head, kissing you with hunger that overpowers his senses.

His body over powers yours, pressing you against the mattress. Your back arches as Aemond presses his erect member against your folds. You give him a look of permission before he plunges in and your eyes screw shut.

"Aemond...I.." you moan and scratch your nails down his bare back.

His thrusts are slow yet hard, knocking you further up the mattress with every thrust. His hair dangles in front of his face and you lean up to kiss his lips, the feeling of warmth fills you as he continues to snap his hips into yours.

"Ao feel raqagon nykeā million qēlossās issa jorrāelagon." Aemond slurs and you whine, feeling your climax reaching.

He continues his forceful thrusts, kissing your collarbone to add to your pleasure. You kiss his chin, beads of sweat forming on you as your breathing quickens.

"Aemond!" Your legs shake violently as his thrusts grow sloppier.

The coil snaps and you milk his cock, panting and whining as he continues to abuse your entrance for his own pleasure. Your head falls back to the pillows as you feel him release within you, pumping you with his cum. Aemond comes to a halt, making sure ever last drop is bestowed in you.

"You will look so beautiful, round with our child." He purrs.

[buckychristwrites]

When the Rain Gathers | Chapter One | j.t

↳  Pairing: Jamie Tartt x f!reader

↳ Word Count: 3.8k

↳  Summary: Pain hits like a downpour, but when a heartbreak from your past is what greets you at your new job at Nelson Road Stadium, it's more like a catastrophic tsunami.

↳  Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Discussion of parental abuse, fluff and angst.

Series Masterlist | Masterlist | Main Blog

“This is stunning.”

Your folded hands tightened.

Rebecca Welton looked between your resume to Sharon Fieldstone, who was sitting beside her. They were both beaming as you continued to sit nervously. Although, that was to be expected with you. They could’ve told you that you were sent by God himself and you would still be rifled with anxiety. 

“And how exactly did you get a recommendation from Ted Lasso?” She asked in awe while reading the letter from the man himself. You shifted in your seat.

“I did some work with the Wichita State Shockers after I finished my degree,” You explained. “During Ted’s time there, of course. He was the one who sent this job my way, actually. Said I’d fit in nicely.�� She read the letter over and over again, a fond look on her face. 

“Any person who Ted trusts is someone I trust.” Was she getting choked up? You tried to ignore that in an effort to not embarrass her. Sharon nodded.

“I think you’re the perfect match to work with me,” The psychologist said definitively. “Now that we have the women’s team as well as the men’s, I can’t do it all on my own.” Rebecca nodded in agreement. 

“You’ll take over the care for the men’s team while Sharon helps the women’s team adjust.”

You allowed yourself to take a glance around Rebecca’s office, appreciating the simplicity. The weight on your chest seemed to lift, now that you knew the job was basically yours. All morning you had been stressing over this interview. Even going as far as to sit in the car park for a whole 45 minutes beforehand so you wouldn’t be late. 

“When do you think you could start?” It was clear that Rebecca was trying oh so hard to not sound eager, while also failing miserably at it. Funnily enough, you were doing the same. Your first answer would be that very minute, but you reeled yourself back. 

“As soon as possible.” 

You didn’t think it was feasible for them to look more elated, but you were proven wrong at that moment, as their faces seemed to radiate joy. Rebecca clapped her hands together before rising from her seat. 

“Wonderful,” She said. “I hope tomorrow will work for you, then?”

It stunned you briefly, how quick the start date was coming. You had assumed it wouldn’t be for another week. But you were more relieved than distressed by the speed this was all going. Since the move just a week prior, you were desperate for income. 

“Perfect,” You said as you also rose from your seat. Sharon swiftly followed, the three of you exchanging such pleased looks. It was overwhelming how well this interview went. It wasn’t really an interview, though. The impression you had been given when the conversation started was that you’d had the job the moment you walked in the door. Though, funnily enough, they had been trying very hard to not let you in on that.

“Shall I give you a tour of the club?” Rebecca suggested. You nodded excitedly.

“That would be wonderful.”

Sharon began to inch towards the door. 

“I have some appointments to get to, I’m afraid,” She said as she glanced at her watch. “But I’ll be ready for you in the morning to help you with getting acclimated.” She gave you a warm smile, which you couldn’t help but return. “I’m so glad to have you.” 

“Wonderful to meet you, Dr. Fieldstone,” You said, raising a hand in goodbye. “I’ll see you in the morning!” She gave one last look of what appeared to be relief before turning and leaving Rebecca’s office. You turned towards your new boss, the anxiety creeping in again. 

You glanced out the window at the team, who were currently training on the pitch. The drills they were running looked intense, more intense than anything you had ever seen before. Which, considering you had seen and had even been involved in a great many football trainings, you were more qualified than most to say that. 

Subtle rain droplets hit the window, catching your attention for too long before you refocused on the players.

A flash of one player as he spun around his teammates with the ball gave you deja vu, and you had to turn away before it began to fester in your head.

“Shall we?” Rebecca asked, gesturing towards the door. You nodded, following her out into the hallway and down the stairs. 

The club was a lot larger than the outside suggested. Rebecca showed you the press room, conference room, all of the bathrooms, and where Sharon’s office was located, though the door was shut at the time. Pictures 

“How was the flight… home?” She asked in a more questioning tone than anticipated. “This is home for you, yes? Your accent is certainly… unique.” You pressed your lips together. This was quite a popular question from both the English and the Americans alike. 

“Yes and no,” You explained. “I’m actually from Manchester. But I moved to the United States for school about…” You did the maths in your head. “About six years ago, I guess.” Saying it out loud felt so strange. Some days, it felt like just yesterday that you had gotten on the plane that swept you away from England. Others, it felt like a lifetime ago. Which, with the changes that had occurred in your life, it might as well have been. 

“The Americans got to you then,” She teased, tapping her hand against your arm as if you had known her forever. 

“That’s exactly what my mum says when she hears me speak anymore,” You admitted sheepishly. Remembering her original question, you turned to face her. “My flight was a nightmare, by the way.” She looked at you in shock. “Yeah, my daughter had an ear infection the day of, naturally. So when we took off and the pressure built in her ears, she just cried and cried for a solid hour until she fell asleep.” 

“You have a daughter,” Rebecca said, poking her bottom lip out just slightly. Subconsciously, you pulled out your phone. 

“Yes. Ivy,” You told her before lifting your phone screen to show off your brunette baby. “She just turned two at the end of May.” 

Rebecca took your phone to gaze at the toddler. At first, you thought it was because she was in silent agreement that the child was the cutest thing to ever cross the Earth. But then you saw the crinkle form between her eyebrows as she brought the phone closer to her face.

“She-” Her head tilted to the side, her lips pressed tightly together. “She looks so much like-”

“Rebecca, hi!”

The both of you turned to find a small blonde woman bouncing towards you. She was wearing a neon purple top, with black skinny jeans and heels higher than your ankles could handle. As Rebecca’s face changed from confusion to delight, you slipped your phone from her hand and back into your pocket. 

“And to what do I owe the pleasure, Keely?” She asked, turning her hands towards you. “I’m sure you know, this is the new sports psychologist that we’ve hired to help Sharon.” Reaching a hand out, you introduced yourself to Keeley. In lieu of a handshake, she pulled you in for a hug.

“Keeley Jones, at your service!” Her hug made you feel warm. It had been a while since you’d had one so loving, and from a stranger at that. It was surprisingly nice. When she released you, she went to give the same to Rebecca. “I came to see Roy. The boys’re coming in from training now, if you’d like to go down and introduce her to the team?” As Rebecca pulled away, she looked at you with excitement in her face.

“Would you like to meet the team?”

You could practically feel the rise in your blood pressure, the anxiety pouring out of your ears. But you knew if you didn’t meet them today, you’d have to tomorrow, and your first day would go much easier if the most stressful part happened sooner rather than later.

“Of course!” 

With wide smiles and rosie cheeks, Rebecca and Keeley whirled around and led you down the hallway, arms linked together. Watching them was incredibly lovely, and made you yearn for a friendship like that.

“Before you interrupted, Keeley,” Rebecca said playfully, earning a glare from her long haired friend. “She was just showing me a picture of her lovely daughter.” Keeley’s head whipped in your direction. 

“You have a daughter? How old is she?” She asked eagerly. You grabbed at your phone again.

“She’s two,” You said proudly as you showed her the same picture you showed Rebecca. Her face went from joyful to dazed, her grabbing at your phone and looking down at it. 

“Do you have any other pictures?” She asked with a less hearty smile this time. The ease in your chest began to falter. Trying hard not to feel offended, you opened your albums and pulled up another photo. In this one, it was a better look of Ivy’s face, and not her just making goofy looks for the camera, like your lock screen photo showed. Grabbing the phone back, Keeley and Rebecca examined it as they continued to walk. They were so distracted that you were surprised they didn’t hit a wall when they rounded a corner.

“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?” Rebecca asked Keeley in a low voice.

“That she looks exactly like-”

You had seen the impending collision that was about to occur, like it was written in the stars, but you were too late in your efforts to warn them, for both Rebecca and Keeley ran into the door of the changing room that had just been opened by one of the coaches. 

“Oh fuck,” A small man with gray hair and a kind looking face muttered as the women hit the floor. Your phone was quick to skid across the floor. The man scrambled to help Rebecca to her feet, as you did the same for Keeley. 

“I’m so sorry, so so sorry, Keeley, R-Rebecca,” The man stammered, shaking his head. “I didn’t see you there.” Rebecca brushed herself off, straightening her skirt.

“Not a problem, Nate,” She said, although her face was still rather filled with embarrassment.

“Quite alright, Coach,” Keeley said, her bubbly tone not faltering for a second. Once you were sure the two of them were fine, you walked over and grabbed your phone. When you turned to face them again, your phone safely replaced in your pocket, you found his anxious eyes on you.

“This is Nate Shelley,” Rebecca said once she composed herself. “He is part of the coaching staff for the men’s league.” As you reached a hand out towards him, she introduced you to him. He looked at your hand in confusion before taking it.

Someone struggles with trusting people, you noted to yourself when your hand dropped from his. 

Nate reopened the door to the changing room and kept his head down as Rebecca, Keeley, and yourself respectively made your way inside. When the door shut from behind, you noticed that Nate had not entered the changing room along with you. 

“Is everyone decent?” Keeley asked with a hand disjointedly over her eyes. Everyone turned their attention towards her, amused smiles on their faces. From what you could tell, everyone was, in fact, decent. When Keeley dropped her hand down once more, she let out a pout. “C’mon lads, just one time!” They all laughed in a way that suggested this was a running joke, but they all somehow still found it funny each time. Rebecca took a few steps forward to give herself centre stage. Your heart clenched.

“I’d like to introduce you all to the new sports psychologist as Sharon transitions over to the women’s league.” She gestured towards you. “She will be taking over all of your care.”

As she told them your name, you watched the range of emotions that flooded all of their faces. 

“Sharon won’t be working with us anymore?”

“This is a betrayal!” 

“Why do the women get our Sharon and we have to have someone new? Send her to them for fuck’s sake!” 

Any excitement that you had left evaporated as you listened to their complaints and shouts. While you never expected the transition to be easy, you didn’t expect it to be completely rejected, either.

“Aye!” A bearded ginger with a baseball cap shouted over the noise.

“Gentlemen!” Rebecca yelled, her voice a mix of anger and surprise. “This is not how we welcome someone to our family, is it?” 

Some of them grumbled a response, while most of them just stared down at their shoes. A couple of them were eyeing you curiously. You folded your hands patiently in front of your abdomen. Rebecca sighed heavily.

“Where the fuck is Kent?” She asked the bearded coach, voice exasperated. “He should be controlling his team.”

“Running drills with Jamie,” He said simply. You felt a wave crash in your chest as he turned to face you. “Coach Beard, by the way.” He stuck his hand out towards you, and it took you a beat too long to compose yourself enough to take it.

“Nice to meet you,” You said, voice unsure. A nervous glance was tossed towards the distraught players again before you turned to him once more. “Did you say… Did you say Jamie?” His eyebrows knitted together, as if you had just asked him if he was able to poop on command. 

“As in Jamie-”

The door to the pitch burst open, handle knocking against the wall. In came a tall figure with dark hair and even darker and thicker eyebrows. He paused just beyond the threshold, his eyes scanning the room. You studied him instinctively. The way the room stopped just upon his entrance told you that he was an important figurehead.

“It’s about time,” Rebecca scolded, hands planted on her hips. “Where have you been?”

“Sorry,” The man said, holding his hands up in a gesture of innocence, before directing his thumb behind him. “This one wanted to run a couple more drills.”

The one he was referring to entered at that moment, as if on cue. As if it were rehearsed. 

Your heart stopped functioning altogether.

He was a new man entirely, with long hair that parted like curtains off his forehead and locks coloured a light brown, almost dark blonde. His jawline was more chiselled than you remembered it, arms and abdomen more defined as his shirt hugged his muscles dearly. Taking a glance around at the commotion, it took him a moment to meet your eyes. But the moment he did, his skin blanched. 

You’d know those eyes anywhere. The greenish-blues you had looked into a thousand times in your life. Soft, gentle, almost innocent in appearance. It felt like they were the only thing about him that hadn’t changed completely.

It’s him. Jamie Tartt.

Your Jamie.

Fuck, you thought to yourself.

Fuck, Jamie thought to himself.

It’s you.

His you.

It felt like he was repeatedly getting hit by a train. Over and over and over again. One right after the other.

His mind suddenly forgot how to think. For the first time in his entire life, it was completely silent. All he could focus on was your face. How different you looked and yet somehow you were exactly the same. The hair he had run his fingers through time and time again was longer than he could recall. Your face had somehow matured in the three years it had been since he had seen you.

Fuck, has it already been three years? He found himself thinking. Because even after all this time, it felt like a victory that he had gone ten days without thinking of you. Now, it seemed, those streaks would be long over.

Rebecca took you around the room to give every player an individual introduction. Though you tried to pay attention, Jamie continued to catch you looking over at him, as he couldn’t stop looking at you. He found your expression unreadable. Since when could he not read your mind by just looking at your face?

Oh yeah, since he didn’t really know you anymore.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Roy said in a low voice. Jamie hadn’t realised that his friend had even leaned in, the sound of his voice causing him to jump.

“The fuck you mean?” 

“You look like a fuckin’ deer in headlights.”

He didn’t have a proper response, so he said nothing. The feeling of Roy’s eyes burning holes in the side of his head were nothing compared to the discomfort he felt from just entering the changing room. The air around him began to suffocate him. You were the only presence he could feel. It had always been like that, when it came down to you, but not like this. Never like this.

“This is Roy Kent, the head manager of the club,” Rebecca continued on with the introductions. Roy grunted in your direction, but a daggered glare from the owner forced him to raise a hand for a shake. You were stiff as a board as you took it.

“And last, but certainly not least, we have Jamie Tartt here.”

And then you were in front of him, wide eyes boring into his face. A whiff of your perfume hit his nostrils. The same perfume you had been wearing since he had gifted you that same bottle for your seventeenth birthday. Now it was a lethal gas, asphyxiating him. Hands shaking at his sides, he stuffed them in the front pocket of his jacket. From his periphery, he could see Rebecca just as angry at him for not going to shake your hand or properly greet you, but unlike Roy, he stood his ground.

After a moment, you cleared your throat.

“Actually,” You said with a shaky breath that Jamie did not miss. “We’ve met before.” 

His lungs ceased to function as his entire body ran cold. 

“We went to school together.” 

It was such a simplification of it all. Twenty three years of knowing someone condensed into five simple words. It felt like a million swords flying through his body.

“How nice!” Rebecca said, her voice high. “Isn’t it lovely to be greeted by a familiar face?” She looked between the two of you expectantly.

You stared at him, your expression neutral.

“Yeah,” You said ominously. “Familiar.” 

That was when he saw it. The fire behind your eyes. Oh, how many times he had seen that anger, but rarely towards him. When the two of you began to really fight, it was almost entirely over the phone, which meant he didn’t have to see it. Which was exactly how he wanted it. Having to see those eyes with so much hatred in them would’ve made him quickly fold. Just like he wanted to right at this moment.

Rebecca pulled you away, saying something about seeing your new office. Jamie’s heart went cold when the warmth of your stare left him. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from your receding back, and even when you disappeared behind the door, his gaze was still glued to that direction, as if you would reappear any second.

“Jamie, please tell me you hit that,” Jan Maas said as he also continued to stare at the door you disappeared through.

“Fuck off, Jan Maas,” He grumbled as he turned to walk towards the boot room. The room began to spin around him, his steps becoming clumsier.

The air in the boot room was fresh despite the reeking boots and unlaundered kits. It was untouched by your scent, which was what he needed. Jamie fell into the shelves, his hands supporting him from hitting the floor.

“Will, mate,” He said through shallow breaths. “I need ya to leave. Please. Go out there and make sure no one comes in, yeah?” Though he wasn’t looking at the kit man, he saw the movement out of the corner of his eyes.

“Y-yes, of course.” 

The second the door closed was the same second that Jamie lost control of his breathing. They became quick and rapid as his knuckles whitened against the wooden shelves. His head slowly grew light, his fingers tingly. 

It had been a while since he’d had one this bad. His mind went from being completely empty to running at a speed he couldn’t possibly comprehend. The room was silent, and yet so incomprehensibly loud. He squeezed his eyes shut. Nausea flooded his stomach and sent chills up his spine.

A voice filled his head.

Breath, my love. You need to breathe.

He inhaled in as best as he could, for as long as he could. As he held his breath, he counted to four in his head. Just as you had taught him. 

Fuck.

The thought of you made him once again lose his composure, and then the panic began once again. 

“FUCK.”

He began to throw boots off the shelves in frustration.

The guilt was filling his lungs, drowning him. Every single emotion he had felt over the years was coming back in full force, hitting him all at once. He didn’t know how to control it, so instead he let it out. The victims being the boots that Will had kept so clean and tidy.

Ground yourself. What can you see? What can you feel?

He forced another deep breath.

“The bench,” He mumbled to himself, looking down at the metal bench he was standing over. “Shelves…b-boots… kits… the wall…” He put a shaky hand on the shelf. “I can feel.. the wood…” Pulling away, he put it to his chest. “Me heart beat… and me shirt.” Then, he sat down, burying his face in his hands. “Me face.”

He could breathe again. 

Even when you were ripping his mind to shreds, you were also somehow putting him back together again.

The door slowly creaked open, but Jamie didn’t move a centimetre. Quiet footsteps made their way over to him.

“What happened?” Sam’s voice asked. Though he pulled his hands away from his face, he didn’t look up at his friend, instead opting to stare at his socked feet. There was another pair next to them, the hairy legs letting him know that Roy was also in the room.

“It’s a long story,” Jamie said, wiping his eyes. He didn’t realise that he had been crying until that moment. “But it starts and ends with one thing.” Bringing a hand away from his face, he stabbed his index finger against his chest. “Me being a proper fuck up.”

~

TAGS

@oncasette, @shiptheship, @ajkdjdnkekemfxj, @breepboopbap, @sssatorus, @jelleeyfish, @puckyou-forpuckssake, @ricciardhoe3, @buckybarnex, @loveslide, @hopefulromances, @sokkigarden, @optimisticsandwichgladiator, @hanybunch

[loserlvrss]

꒰ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐘 ꒱ 변의주

summary : after a stressful work day, you come home to a sweet date and confession from euijoo

genre : fluff, slight-angst, jpop-idol!ej x afab!reader tws : slight mention of misogyny, minimal angst, language author notes : ej loml word count : 1.4k

you felt a physical ache shooting down your spine, your legs hurting every time they'd press against the pavement. you sighed, shutting the door to your car and going to grab your things from the back. it had been an unusually stress-filled day; multiple people yelling at you and critiquing your dancing skills.

you knew being a choreographer wasn't an easy task, however multiple people—specifically men—would tell you that you weren't meant to be as successful as you were; more than you'd have normally apprehended. they told you that women weren't meant to choreograph men's dances. or that your moves were too promiscuous for them and fans would never appreciate the art because of it.

however, you knew you were good. hell, hybe hired you as a full-time choreographer, it just sometimes gets into your head on bad days such as this.

tears pooled in your eyes, blurring the backseat of the car as your trembling hands fished your bags from the leather. you slung them over your shoulders, grabbing at your keys and locking the door with a couple beeps. you felt tense, almost too much to move quickly, and your stomach churned whatever you had had for breakfast almost twelve hours ago now.

begrudgingly, you entered your apartment building and made your way to the ninth floor. the fluorescent lights mixing with your already blurry eyes made you practically blind as you fought with unlocking the door, your key-jingle echoing throughout the tunnel of a hallway. you swung it inwards to reveal the small mud-room, spotting an unfamiliar pair of nike dunks—too big to be your own—and recognized them as being the only other person who had willing access to your space: euijoo.

you felt a relief form goosebumps over your anxiety-splotched skin and you sighed out shakily. you set your things down and slipped your own shoes off. you didn't even realizing the smell wafting from, you presumed, where your kitchen was as you stepped into a pair of neatly placed slippers. before you had a chance to fully enter your own home, your smiling not-yet-boyfriend was stopping you. he blocked the end of the hall, shielding you from the mess you assumed he had made.

"did you set a fire?" you joked, watching his eyebrows furrow at you. his palms went to your cheeks and you leaned into the touch subconsciously. he examined your skin, shifting your head from side to side without words.

"what?" you asked when he let you go. "do i look funny?"

"not particularly," he stated, making you scoff in his direction as a smile broke out across his lips again. "but, were you crying?"

you didn't think any tears had slipped out of your eyes but you were also too busy noting the pain that coursed through your body to notice the streaks that had painted your cheeks. you knew it was no use to deny what was obvious to him—never being able to slip anything past the man that was oblivious to almost everything but you.

“yeah,” you revealed, a puppy-frown adorning his lips at your words. “it was a stressful day. i’m sorry if you had something planned for us, i’m just really—i don’t know…” your eyes began to well again, forcing the faucet to twist. “upset?”

“it’s okay,” he stated, pulling you into an embrace that warmed you as you cried quietly into his shoulder. “you can tell me it all, and after that we can watch a movie—also, you know i can’t cook to save my life—i bought your favorite pizza.” he pushed you back by your shoulders, grabbing your cheeks and wiping the tears away. "does that sound okay? do you want to do that?"

the gentle aura of euijoo was almost intoxicating—suffocating you in a comfort that had your senses calming down as if he was a sedative.

you could see the stars—scratch that—touch the stars with him. you knew he’d give you anything you could ever dream of. he’d be your night in shinning armor if that’s what he knew you wanted; however he’d settle for being the shoulder you leaned on for comfort, the arms you fell asleep in, the ears that you confided in. he’d settle for anything if it involved you.

he didn’t ever make you feel like your trivial worries weren’t worthwhile, and you knew he wouldn’t even speak over you if you began to rant. so, in the hallway of your apartment, you let the tears and words fall freely. “euijoo, why does working have to be so hard? this industry is so fucking ruthless—i swear i’m just trying so hard to make a living. i have rent due, and i need this dance for enhypen to be perfect otherwise it’ll be problems for me. but i don’t know if i can keep up with this lifestyle anymore. i don’t even know if i want to.” it felt a million times better to finally admit what you’ve been thinking of. “dancing isn’t fun anymore. it’s not the same as when i first started. it’s too much pressure now. i just want it to be enjoyable again. i just want to be happy when i choreograph, but i’m just not, and i don’t know why.”

he kissed the tip of your nose gently, staring with—if you didn’t know any better—love in his eyes. you huffed, feeling an honest bit of irritation rise within you; you didn’t know why he had to be so perfect, standing in your hallway, holding you close, thinking of only you, when there was literally billions of other people on this planet. but you also knew that, despite your self-consciousness, he’d reassure you a thousand times over that you were more than enough to him.

“you… you’re so goddamn perfect,” he put both his hands up defensively. “i don’t even deserve you—to come home to you.”

your wording had made a slight blush creep over his features. he knew what he had planned for your impromptu stay-at-home date, he knew that he desperately wanted what you subconsciously spewed out, he knew that it was becoming irritating not being able to call you his girlfriend when asked what the two of you were.

he never much cared for labels until it came to you. he respected your proclaim to take things slow when you first started whatever this was, but nevertheless he was only human and he thought you two were moving too slow at this point.

he took ahold of your hand, dragging you to the kitchen in an attempt to get you from ranting about how much you cared for him (because it ultimately flustered him.) and, honestly, you were grateful because, from the time you had began work until this exact moment, you hadn’t eaten anything besides some applesauce your grandmother had made and sent you from america.

“babe, the food is getting cold. i know i said i’d listen and then we could eat, but i’m starving—i’ll listen, but i gotta eat before i die.”

you laughed, watching him sit in the chair he self-proclaimed was his, and take a slice for you and himself. sometimes you forgot that he was just a man at the end of the day, a simple creature in its’ purest form, but at least he didn’t forget to feed you.

you took the pizza, putting it down on the plate he’d set up even before you’d gotten home. “it’s okay, i feel better now.”

he looked up through his hunched position, mouth full. “you do?”

“yeah,” you admitted, letting a moment of silence resonate. “you make me feel better so… thank you?”

he giggled, almost shyly, burying his face in the food once again, in an attempt to stop from professing his undying-love for you right now, instead of at the right time.

he finished his pizza as you had just began to eat, a comfortable silence falling over the apartment. he had the same loving look in his eyes, a deep-shade of pink flushing your upper-cheeks. you felt, what seemed like relief in his presence—a calmness that you believed you could never grow tired of. to you, he was perfect. you were convinced you could never see him any other way. he wasn't your boyfriend, but he had already ingrained himself into your personality.

you two complimented each other the way lovers in a fluff-filled romance movie would, the way constellations and wishes did, the way the sun and moon did. you had to practically swallow down the church bells that threatened to ring every time he'd catch your gaze.

all you two had to do was finally make it official, and after the feeling he instilled in you, you thought it couldn’t possibly be as hard as people made it seem. euijoo kept you breathing like he was the air that filled your lungs. the daily-anticipation always filled your heart to the bittersweet brim, only waiting for the day when it would overflow—though, in the past, maybe you were both too shy to ever say anything—but now, you could see the surface tension at its max.

“euijoo?” you asked cautiously, wiping your lips on a napkin as his attention refocused. he hummed sweetly, causing a small chuckle to escape your lips. you both knew that he was lovesick for you, bewitched, head over heels, but neither of you jumped to admit it.

silence took over, your chest caving slightly as you two locked eyes. you swear he could read your thoughts, and you weren't as scared of that as you used to be in past relationships. you wanted him to know everything you thought about him.

“i love you.”

“can i be your boyfriend?”

you spoke over each other, and then neither one of you jumped at the others proclamation, literally too stunned to speak. you just stared at each other like if you looked away the other would disappear.

his eyes grew ten-times their size. “y-you love me?”

however, you had decided to speak against his words once again. “you can be m—you go first, im sorry.”

“i love you, too.” he stated, making your lip pout-out at the way he looked so goddamn adorable. “i wish I would’ve done this sooner, oh my god, i had this whole thing planned out and—“

“it's perfect—you’re perfect. i love you more than the word love could ever insinuate.”

“you can’t ever stop saying that now.” he shook his head like he couldn’t believe it. “seriously? how’d i get so lucky?”

it was rhetorical, though you still felt the desire to refute it. he was mad that he hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend sooner, your claim only making his stomach swarm with butterflies. he was in love with you before he even knew what love for another person was, but now he was convinced it would never feel the same if it wasn't you.

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[the1975attheirverybest]

(Cabin) Pressure

A/N: This is probably unnecessary and super indulgent, lmao. I just have this impossible urge to baby him, OKAY? he's so....UGH!! anywaysssss!!! As requested by quite a few of you, here's part 2 of the flight one-shot. on a scale from 1 to absolute dumpster fire, lmk how bad it is, lol. Honestly I’m so conflicted about posting it, I might end up deleting later. AND YES SMUT COMING TONIGHT, I PROMISE. Just can't be writing smut at work in case one of my students comes to my office.

Read Part 1 here.

Warnings: mentions of anxiety, depiction of panic attack.

----

The guys hurried ahead to give her and Matty some privacy. She felt Matty's hand stiffen in hers as soon as he watched the automatic doors of the Departures Terminal open and his bandmates walk right in. He swallowed the lump in his throat, his breathing quickened.

She squeezed his hand, drawing his attention back to his body. "Hey," she looked up at him. "You're gonna be alright, yeah?"

Matty gave her a weak smile, nodding slowly. He wasn't sure he believed her. He wanted to. Desperately. But he couldn't control it. It was like his body reflexively reacted to his surroundings before his mind could step in and control how he felt. He could physically sense the tension seeping into his body, right on cue.

"Well, shall we?" he turned to her.

"No pressure. Take as long as you need. We've got time. We'll go in whenever you're ready."

"But the lads-"

"Matty, look at me...there you are. We'll catch up with them at the gate, yes? It's okay." Her free hand moved to touch his face, the sensation grounding him.

"Right, sorry, I'm being silly." he smiled timidly. "Okay, think I'm read. Let's do this."

"Lead the way."

She kept her eye on him as they made their way through the airport, watching his body for any signs of stress.

Matty stopped dead in his tracks as soon as he saw the airline counters at the end of the hall.

"Fuck! My passport! Don't think it's in my bag! I don't remember seeing it-"

"Oh, god, sorry! I- I took it." she winced and looked apologetically up at him. "Sorry, I- uh, I thought if I kept track of the tickets, paperwork, and passports it...would give you some wiggle room so you didn't have to worry about sorting that stuff out...It's all with me! I have them here..."

To her surprise, and relief, Matty burst out laughing. "I think by thinking so hard about not panicking, I'm startin' to stress myself out. Alright, deep breaths."

She watched Matty close his eyes and take two deep breaths. Inhaling slowly, then opening his eyes as he exhaled.

"Okay, I'm all good now." He smiled, genuine this time. "And, thank you, baby, that was really kind of you to do." He dipped his head down to give her a quick kiss.

She rummaged through her bag, pulling out their documents as they approached the counter. "I can do it if you'd like..."

"No, it's okay. Think I can handle this. But, umm, keep holdin' my hand?" He blushed as he heard his own words leave his lips.

"Of course. I'm right here. All the way until security physically separates us."

***

With check-in and security now behind them, they wandered the airport in search of their gate, and the rest of their group. Matty seemed to relax a little, so she took the chance to suggest breakfast.

"Hey, wanna go over there and get something to eat?" she point towards the express version of some chain restaurant.

"Too anxious to eat. Afraid I won't be able to keep anything down."

"Please, baby? the nausea's probably worse when you're operating on an empty stomach. Let me buy you a little snack? you don't have to eat it right away..." She noticed Matty's attention shift from her gentle pleading to something else, something right behind her. "What're you looking at?" she frowned at the faint smile on his face. Turning around to check what was behind her, she saw a pair of young women, roughly in their early 20s, eyeing him hesitantly and struggling to contain their excitement.

"do you mind waitin' a bit? Think I'll go over there."

"Matty, are you sure? You know you don't have to do that if you're not feeling it."

He rolled his eyes. "C'mon, my love. Put yourself in their shoes...you're tellin' me that if we bumped into, I don't know, Harry Styles, right now, you wouldn't go up to him to say hello?"

She giggled and shook her head. "I- I wouldn't expect HIM to be the one to come to ME."

"Oh, so now you're telling me that, if Harry Styles were right here, right now, you'd actually have the courage to go up to him yourself?"

She couldn't help but smile. At least, the fact that he took the opportunity to tease her about her celebrity crush was an indicator that he was in a good enough mood. "Alright, let's go say hi." She relented.

"I appreciate you watching out of me." He placed his hands on her cheeks, kissing her, and giggling against her lips bit at the sound of the girls squealing behind him before he went over to greet them.

He sweetly introduced himself as Matty and gave each woman a hug, whispering "nice to meet you, Darlin'" as he pulled them in. He signed the backs of their itineraries, agreed to FaceTime a friend, and stood for pictures with them.

"Do you wanna take it or do you want me to take it? Actually, you know what? My girlfriend, here, can take it...Babe?" He gestured for her to come closer, "do you mind?" handing her the girls' phones.

"See? That wasn't so bad, was it?" he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer and whispering in her ear as they walked away, waving the girls goodbye and wishing them a safe trip.

"I never said it would be bad! I was-"

"Just trying to take care of me, I know." He kissed her cheek. "But I'm okay. Really. Cuz I've got you."

***

The flight seemed off to a good start, with her and the guys taking turns at sitting with, and distracting, Matty from his thought spiral. Take off was a bit rough for a moment; he visibly broke a sweat and almost crushed her hand in his while the plane settled into altitude. She quickly brought him back the a calm enough state after that, though. They argued over which film to watch, eventually agreed to each watch their own choice, before Matty petulantly abandoned his screen and begged to watch whatever she was watching instead. This, of course, meant that she had to pause and explain the plot to him, bring him up to speed. She pretended to be annoyed with him, but secretly, she was glad for it because, the more that she actively participated in distracting him, the less likely it was that he'd let his mind wander and start overthinking.

Her plan seemed to be working, until it wasn't. 7 hours into the flight, Matty's senses were overwhelmed. He could no longer block the anxious thoughts away by steering his attention towards her, his friends, or whatever forms of entertainment were available to him. He even got out his laptop, tried to do some work to keep his mind occupied, but as time went on, his anxiety sucked more and more of his energy, until his will inevitably weakened, and he succumbed to the catastrophic thinking...

His eardrums pounded with the sound of his own heartbeat, the sounds of his surroundings being reduced to a faint, persistent whisper. He felt the air get sucked out of his lungs, panting and sweating as his eyes scanned the tight quarters. The voice inside his head screamed for him to leave the airplane, but he was aware enough to know that it was physically impossible to escape. Both sides of his brain locked in an impossible battle, the result was a near-complete paralysis. He lost the feeling in his limbs, his vision going blurry. Even breathing became a consuming conscious task. He felt like he was drowning underwater.

"M-matty? my love, what's the matter?" She was immediately alarmed when she'd glanced away from her book to check in with him. "You look like you're gonna be sick...Do you need me to call for someone?"

With great effort, Matty shook his head, looking helplessly at her.

"Talk to me, honey..."

"P-panic attack." he stuttered, short-winded and struggling to breathe.

The words brought instant tears to her eyes, and for a moment, she was overwhelmed by how quickly his pain had crushed her heart, but she wasn't about to make this about herself.

Delicately, she reached around his neck, loosing his tie. "I'm gonna take this off, okay?" explaining each of her movements as she did them so as not to startle him with anything unexpected. Matty's scattered brain was, of course, much too overwhelmed to process anything that she was saying to him, but the softness of her tone somehow made him nod anyway. She stood up, looking a few rows behind her, for George. They'd made an agreement that she would signal to him if she needed his help. Unfortunately, though, George was sound asleep, from what she could tell.

Shifting her attention back to Matty. "I'm gonna undress you, okay?"

She unbuttoned his button-down. "Honey, are you with me? need you to take off your undershirt, okay? it's much too tight."

When he made no effort to follow her instructions, she reached over and took it off for him. “Okay, I’ve got a better shirt for you in my bag. I just need to get it from the overhead bin, alright? I’ll be right back, okay?” 

Matty might as well have been asleep; he made no movement or attempt to acknowledge her, which broke her heart to a million pieces. 

She hurried over to George’s seat kicking it roughly to wake him up. 

“He needs you.” She simply stated as soon as she saw George’s eyes flutter open. 

George cleared his throat several times. “R-right. I’m up; I’m up. I promise.” He stood up, peaking ahead of him to wear Matty was seated. “He’s…naked?” 

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously, I’m getting him clothes. But I need you, you gentle giant. Help me get my bag before you sit with him? Just need to get his stuff…”

George sprung into action, following her commands swiftly while she went through her bag to find a 1975 crew neck that was two sizes too big on Matty, and a pair of his joggers. She’d packed them when he insisted on wearing his shirt and tie to the airport, hoping she’d use them under happier circumstances, but right now, she was just glad she’d thought ahead. She went over to the flight attendant and grabbed him some water to go along with the sleeping pills. 

By the time that she’d made it back to their seats George, had somehow talked Matty into reclining his seat, closing his eyes, and apparently leant  him some headphones. “What- how-“

George, ever the wizard, just shrugged. “It’s all I could think of, alright?”

She broke into a smile, kissing her friend’s balding head. “You’re an Angel, George.”

“Hmm.” George hummed, smirking. “Listen, I’ll go get a coffee to wake myself up. Give me a shout if you need me, yeah?”

***

Matty got through the reminder of the flight relatively alright. While he didn't manage to fall asleep, despite the sleeping pills she'd given him, nor did he manage to eat any real meals, the first class reclining chairs were comfortable enough for him to close his eyes and focus on an audio book for a couple of hours, and he did nibble on a piece of buttered toast while wrapped himself up in the blanket she'd bought him and shuffling through her especially curated playlist. The anxiety never completely left him, but he was happy to endure a lower-level persistent anxiousness instead of the sudden panic attack that had gripped him earlier.

At long last, they'd touched down and began their journey out of the airport. Matty always wondered if the arrivals terminal is universally more difficult to get through, or if his impatience to finally be done with the travel part always made it seem so, regardless of where in the world he'd found himself.

At baggage claim, the stress of the journey seemed to catch up to him. He wrapped his armed around her waist, burying his face into the side of her neck and breathing in her scent. Just when he'd closed his eyes, hoping to catch a breath while they waited for the couple of items that they could neither ship ahead of time, nor bring in their carry-ons, to appear on the carousel, he became aware of a couple of people catching on to his presence.

"No, Matty, please." her hand grabbed onto his arm around her waist when she felt him slip away from her, getting ready to greet the fans.

"It's fine, Darlin'" his voice was heavy with sleep, as were his eyes.

She sighed, this time, she couldn't be supportive of his decision. As she spotted his guitar and got ready to retrieve it, she overheard him apologize to a few people for "looking sweaty" and mumbling something about jet lag. Ross stepped in to help her with the bag, listening silently and nodding in agreement as she whispered her complaints about Matty's lack of boundaries. If she'd let him get a word in edgewise, he'd have said "you should've seen him when our career first started, he was acting like he was every fan's best mate." George joined Matty for a moment, saying a quick hello to everyone before politely excusing himself and pulling his friend away. "We've gotta go, Matty, c'mon."

Though George had succeeded in extracting Matty away, his victory was short-lived. At the airport gates, the guys were surprised to find a group of more than just a handful of fans waiting for them. Phone cameras flashed as soon as the gates opened, the crowd calling out and vying for the band's attention.

Adam was the first to jump into their designated car as it pulled up by the side of the building. Ross and George followed shortly behind him. Matty, on the other hand, was quickly separated from them when he paused momentarily, slightly thrown off, by the presence of people on both sides of the gates.

She rushed over to him, taking his hand and pulling him towards the car. For a moment, Matty let her lead the way, trailing behind her with a hand on her hip to keep from losing her. He kept his head down, but closer he got to the crowd, the louder they were, and the faster his heart beat. His palms were beginning to sweat and breathing was getting difficult again. A voice in the back of his head told him to stop, to take a look around and stop staring at his feet, and when he did, he saw the faces of the people looking at him and he couldn't help it. He let go of her hand, walking over to one group, while the other screamed out his name.

She attempted to call out his name, but her voice was drowned out by the phones beeping, cameras flashing, and excited chatter. She stood there, astounded as he smiled and hugged a few people, apologizing that he couldn't sign someone's phone case because he didn't have a pen on him.

He turned around to the second group, "I promise, I'll get to all of you if we don't cause too much trouble and security doesn't get involved. could we...maybe just move away from the gates?"

She sighed, exasperated by the lengths he was going to. He was practically behaving like a event organizer, ushering people away from the rest of the public.

As well intentioned as his plan was, it did not work out quite as he’d imagined. the moment that he moved people away from the airport gates, everyone naturally formed a circle around him, a few people elbowing their way to the front. He was trapped.

Matty froze in place, fighting to keep his expression straight and suppress the fight or flight response that had kicked in. What had he done? The illusion that he had any control at all over the situation was quickly blown away. She could see his hands shaking by the sides of his body as he struggled to regulate his breathing. She couldn’t take it anymore.

She squeezed her way past an appreciable number of people, trying to get to Matty. “Excuse me, yeah, could I just- get through. Thanks.” She grabbed his hand. “Hey, you,” and leaned into his ear “Matty, whatever you think you’re doing, it’s not smart. Let’s leave.”

“Just a second. Almost done.” He whispered, fully aware that there was no way people weren’t listening to their conversation.

“You’re not feeling well, let’s get in the car, please?”

“A few more people-“ she pulled him by the arm dragging him away from people and towards the car. Matty waved apologetically at groaning people who were mumbling how unfair this was, dipping his head low and rushing to keep up with  her. 

The chatter between the guys in the car fell silent as she and Matty climbed in. They settled into the backseat with Matty instantly clinging to her and resting his head on her chest as the car drove away. Her hands reflexively found his hair, running her fingers through it and kissing his forehead.

“Baby? Could I just say something?” Matty spoke, finally breaking the dead silence, once they’d made it onto the highway. 

“I don’t wanna hear it.” She said firmly.

Ross and Adam exchanged a look of surprise. Clearly impressed with, and in support of, her new tone.

Matty lifted his head halfway off of her looking up at her. “But I’d just like to explain-“

“I said I don’t wanna hear it. Can we not talk about it right now?”

He replaced his head back on her body, her hands resuming their soothing motions through his hair. “Can tell you’re angry.” He mumbled. 

“No shit! Of course I’m angry.” He heard her heartbeat rise as she spoke. Her hands still comforting him though her tone was definitely sharp. 

“I just wanna-“

“I said I don’t want to have this conversation right now, and yet, you keep fuckin’ pushing. Look, I know you love your fans. You’re grateful. And, honestly, it is one of the greatest joys of my life watching you interact with them. The knowledge that you can be so tender and compassionate- not just with me me, not with your family, the boys, your friends- but with complete strangers as well…that’s what makes you a man in my eyes. So, trust me, Matty, I don’t say this lightly, but you have absolutely no boundaries. You’re a pushover!”

Matty was quiet for a moment, taking in the gravity of her words. “Okay, I can see why you’d think that.” he opened his eyes, looking up her through his hair. “But could I just explain my side of things?”

“There is no ‘your side’! You are mentally and physically exhausted. Matty- you were literally shaking. And, this wasn’t a professional event! This wasn’t a signing or a meet-and-greet!”

“That’s exactly why l-“

“My point is, it wasn’t safe! What if someone’d gotten hurt? What if you’d gotten hurt? There was no security to control the situation. Nobody to help or be held accountable! There’s a reason everyone else was sitting in this car, and not out there with you.”

“I get it.” Matty conceded.

“We were all bending over backwards to make sure you’re okay, then you go and willingly put yourself in a stressful situation that would trigger you. I mean,” she shook her head, speechless. 

“I just- I’m sorry.”

“I know. Let’s just not talk about it anymore. Alright?”

Matty’s arms squeezed around her waist as he nuzzled his face deeper into her chest, kissing her skin in a silent apology.

The car fell into another silent lull, until, several minutes later, George peaked his head from the passengers seat and told her and Matty not to check Twitter. 

“Oh, god. What’d you have to say that for? You know Matty’s gonna wanna see it now!” Adam groaned, chastising George. 

“What?” George shrugged. “I said ‘whatever you do, don’t check Twitter,’ I didn’t say to hurry up and check it.”

“I’ve literally been biting my tongue this whole ride.”

Matty, who’d been  half asleep in her arms, pulled out his phone, blinking rapidly to adjust to the light of the screen. 

Just as he’d suspected, photos of him being dragged away from adoring fans were already circulating the internet. All captioned with dramatic out of context narratives. 

“Matty Healy and gf argue in the middle of airport parking lot”

“1975 front man  physically dragged away from fans by possessive gf.”

Comments embellished the description using every colorful name in the book. From “jealous” and “immature” to “frigid witch.”

Matty set his phone down, neither one of them said anything. They spent the remainder of their ride to the hotel in silence. 

***

“How’re you feeling?” She emerged out of the bathroom, walking over to Matty’s slumped over figure on the bed. 

“I’m sleepy, and hungry, and tired, and I smell like airplane.” He mumbled. “I’m also sad.”

“Why’re you sad?” She bent down to kiss his nose. 

“Cuz you’re mad at me. You don’t seem to understand- the fans…they’re like the most important thing. Unless I’m physically tied down, I will always go out there and meet them. Never gonna be dismissive. Never gonna make them feel like they don’t matter to me.” Matty sat up in bed, taking her hands in his, and pulling her closer to him. “You can’t put out the kind of music that I put out, and then pretend not to want anything to do with the people who listen to it.” She nodded, attempting to signal that she was on his side. “There are ways of saying ‘sorry, not today guys.’ Without being dismissive or rude.”

“I hope you know, that’s never gonna be me. I’d never say that to them. It’s just not who I am.”

“I know. I don’t expect you to suddenly change. I just hope you don’t expect me to either. Cuz I’m still gonna worry about you and try to protect you when you’re in over your head.”

Matty smiled at her with droopy eyes. “Deal.” He kissed her lips. 

“Sorry they’re saying mean shit online.”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve wanted to be a witch since I was a little girl!” She giggled. “Now, c’mon. I ran us a bath.”

“Wait…us? Like you AND me?”

***

“You had a really rough day today, huh?” She whispered as she snuggled into him, getting comfortable in their hotel bed. 

Matty turned on his side to face her, the smell of her freshly washed hair calming his mind. “Couldn’t have gotten through it without you.” He kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”

“Of course, baby.”

“Could we just…stay here, in this bed, for ever. Just you and me. Where it’s safe, soft, quiet.”

“Sounds like a great idea. Yeah, let’s do that.”

[gabriels-wings-of-freedom]

Also just had a Daydream! Imagine you‘re walking somewhere and you notice someone following you so just randomly join Crowley and pretend to know him cause you feel unsafe and kinda smile anxiously at him and quietly say ‚please help me this man is following me‘ and like- hes taken aback cause he‘s literally just walking there? Wtf are these humans up to. But he kinda goes soft at her anxiety cause while he‘s a demon and all he thinks violence from men towards women like that is just tasteless. So he offers you his arm and walks with you and eventually grabs the guy and intimidates him with his demon presence and you‘re just like, frozen but instead of being scared you kinda smile in shock like „Well that was.. really scary. But also pretty cool.“ And he‘s internally like surprised to be called cool and just smiles a little like ‚yeah it was‘ asfgh

YASASA PROTECTIVE DEMON COMING THOUGH💖 I love this and I hope you enjoy this story! And sorry for a sucky ending XD

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A Taste of Hell

Crowley does something he was not expecting today. He decides to help a human.

The demons have driven him to leave. There's only so much infernal whining that Crowley can take before the demons make him want to abandon Hell.

"We want more torture!"

"We want Lucifer back!"

"You're too controlling!"

Blah Blah Blah. They can go to Hell.

Right now, Crowley was enjoying walking down the dimly lit streets of some backwater town. It was kind of crummy and spooky-to your average human-but to the demon, he was quite at peace. Who knows, maybe he'll find some person to make a deal with or perhaps-

"Hey there!"

A young woman he's never met before suddenly comes and grabs his arm like they were best buddies. Crowley was taken aback by this sudden gesture, and he gave her a peculiar look. The woman just clutched his arm tighter and smiled up at him, an anxious manner in her eyes.

Meanwhile, Crowley was just confused because the only thing he was doing was walking there. He wanted to avoid any situations that would involve him, but here he was. Humans were such stressful creatures, and Crowley would know firsthand. He did not want to be here.

"I'm Y/N." You whispered to him while he was continuing to stare at you weirdly, almost ready to shove you off.

"Please...help me. This man is following me, and I'm worried." You whispered, anxiousness in your tone. Crowley's expression softened a bit. His eyes flickered down the path a bit, and the demon noticed a man a ways down. Crowley narrowed his eyes a bit and seeing that your follower was neither demon nor angel, he frowned.

Being a demon, he validates the torture and abuse of others. However, Crowley sees humans doing it to each other as pitiful and tasteless, especially when it's a man going after a lady. He ain't a demon, what gives him the right? Wait until your soul goes to Hell, then you can have your fun messing with women sir.

But looking at your worried expression, especially as said man approaches, he couldn't help but smirk to himself. What's the harm of walking around with a gorgeous woman on his arm? It certainly beats Hell full of ungrateful demons.

He smiled charmingly and offered his arm to you more.

"Miss Y/N, what a pleasant surprise. Walk with Crowley now." He said, slyly introducing his name as you walked with him. As you gleefully held onto him, relief flooding through your body, Crowley oddly cherished the moment. There was something about helping a human that made him feel a bit satisfied.

But the sound of your stalker's footsteps still sounded behind you guys.

"Thank you." You whispered to him, and Crowley gave you one of his signature smiles.

"Oh happy to help...but I'm not done." He stopped you guys in your tracks and panic rose in you slightly when the steps of your follower grew louder. However, just when they seemed like he was gonna be right on you, Crowley was quick to release you and to turn around.

With a flick of his hand, the man was sent flying.

You jumped in surprise, but your stalker was even more so. The wall behind him was cracked, and he struggled to get up. Crowley slowly approached him, his voice dangerous and low.

"If you go near this woman ever again, you'll be sent to Hell," Crowley's eyes turned full red as he grabbed the man by the throat and held him against the wall, "and I'll be waiting for you there."

The man choked, struggling for air.

"Do we have a deal?" The demon asked, and the man could barely choke out a reply. But Crowley heard what he wanted to hear and roughly dropped the guy, who struggled to get to his feet and run away, looking over his shoulder now and again.

Crowley wanted to snap his fingers and disintegrate him, but decided it was much more satisfying to let him live in fear. Chuckling to himself, the demon was expecting to turn and see you gone, but you were right where he left you.

"You're still here?" Crowley asked more in confusion than anger. You blinked a couple of times, your breathing deep before you settled yourself.

"That...was wicked. Horrible and terrifying...but so cool." You said, the beginnings of a smile forming on your face. Crowley was all ready for you to scream and run but was pleasantly surprised to hear you say what you did.

But a small smile soon graced his face.

"Well...I am pretty cool...some call me the King." Crowley said, throwing a hint to his true self, even though you would have no clue who he really was. And obviously you knew he wasn't human, but he wasn't about to tell you that he was a demon unless you asked.

But you just laughed.

"I'm sure. Say...would you like to get a drink?" You asked him, smiling slightly as you spoke in a hopeful tone. Placing your hands behind your back, you awaited an answer.

"What the hell...I don't want to head home anyone." Crowley said while offering you his arm to you again. Not only that, but he was eager to know you better.

You took his arm and began to lead him to the nearest bar, feeling safer than you probably should. But Crowley had no intentions to do anything devious, not that you would even think that at this point after he helped you so.

One day you might learn his true nature, and it would be up to you to think if he's still cool or not.

[mystic-headcanons]

you, that one anon and I, are single handedly CARRYING the autistic Jumin headcanon.

If it's alright, what would happen if MC were to help Jumin through a meltdown and/or shutdown? Or her just telling Jumin that it's okay to be him, and that they can find out who he is behind the mask together :,]?

Man this makes me wanna *hits desk repeatedly*

FR THO i love my autistic king <3 i'm sorry for the delay! i've had a very. very. eventful couple of weeks T_T

letting himself feel his emotions was something jumin was still getting used to. before her, he always imagined his feelings as something to be locked away, never to be touched and opened. a pandora's box. there was a wall between himself and his emotions, and it was better for everyone that way. of course, he was only human, and sometimes his strongest emotions would slip through. sadness would creep its way out of the box every so often, catching him in her cruel grip. there was always affection whenever he spent time with elizabeth the third, but other than that, jumin never really let himself feel anything. he had always believed that emotions were a waste of time-- that it didn't matter what he felt, because people treated him the same no matter what. no one ever cared for his emotional needs, so why would he? of course, that all changed when he met her and fell in love for the first time. she was able to get him out of his own head, was able to slowly untangle the mess that was jumin han; while he seemed cold and aloof on the outside, he had been drowning under the surface. she had been his lifeline.

she opened his eyes to so much more than emotions, though. it was her that persuaded him to get an autism diagnosis, her that stuck by his side through the assessment and the waiting, and then the confirmation. the confirmation was both a relief and an anxiety- jumin was relieved to hear that there was a reason for the way that he was, and that he wasn't just some broken mess. anxiety had quickly overpowered the relief he felt, though, because...well, powerful people weren't autistic. in his high society, there was not a single person like that. while jumin was sure a lot of them had mental illnesses, it was something taboo among the elites. something that was spoken of behind closed doors and cupped hands, in whispers while you were passing by and words with double meanings. after the diagnosis, jumin began learning about autism- both through research and through firsthand experiences. something he had to learn firsthand was shutdowns and meltdowns.

there were different types, she had explained, and it's not always a visibly emotional breakdown. sometimes it's just completely shutting down, your body present but your mind somewhere far away where no one could reach. it's your senses becoming overwhelmed to the point where your conscious mind decides to take a step back. jumin didn't understand how that could happen until he had experienced it.

it had been a long, stressful day. there were stacks of paper to be signed, crowds of important businessmen and women to be met with, and an important client backed out of a deal at the last minute and left them all scrambling. jumin's entire routine had been thrown off, and he had to meet with his father and his father's new girlfriend; she was worse than the others, had come onto him when his father wasn't in the room and invaded his personal space. by the time jumin got home, he was barely holding himself together. he breezed by his cat and his wife without a word and made his way into the bedroom where he threw himself down onto the bed and stared blankly up at the ceiling. the longer he laid there, the more detached he became from reality until jumin was unseeing and unblinking. this comatose-like state was how she found him, and she was quiet and gentle when she shut the door behind her. not that it really mattered, because she was certain that the penthouse could burn down and jumin would still be none the wiser.

she sat next to him on the bed and repeatedly carded her fingers through his hair, content to do so until he came back to reality. it took a little while, but she could see the light slowly come back to his eyes. saw how he finally started to notice his surroundings, and then notice her. "when did you come in?" he asked, voice a little rough. "mmm about half an hour ago." she responded, stopping her motions in favor of leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. "rough day?" she asked, and made a sympathetic noise when he nodded. "overwhelming." he said, letting out a sigh as he closed his eyes. "i'm sorry i went all..spacey like that."

"hey, don't apologize." she frowned, lightly tapping his forehead. "this kind of thing happens sometimes. do you want me to make an appointment with a therapist or anything?" that was a new thing, too. therapy. jumin still wasn't entirely comfortable with it, but he couldn't deny that it did help. learning more about his diagnosis and his feelings and how he felt things made it feel less lonely. like, he wasn't the only one who was messed up. jumin was about to deny her offer, but caught himself. it would always be hard to let other people in, to let them see all the mangled, messed up parts that made him, but he was trying.

there was a fear that jumin had of letting other people know of his diagnosis. other than the repercussions in his society, he feared that people would look at him and label him as autistic. like they wouldn't be able to see any other part of him. it was also the reason why he felt like he never really knew himself; he never knew where his mask ended and where he began, always too afraid to find out. he voiced this fear to her, and fell silent as she contemplated her response for a moment. "i think...the people who love you won't look at you and see your diagnosis, but rather look at it like one more piece to the puzzle. like something to help them understand you better." she said, her voice slow and clear. "as for who you are...well, i can sit here and tell you exactly who i think you are without your mask, but it's more important for you to figure that out...and i'll be right here by your side, of course." her words helped to quell the rising anxiety, and he couldn't be more grateful that someone so thoughtful and so calming was by his side. "thank you." he murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "i will....give the therapist a call myself. in a little while, though. i want to stay here with you for a moment."

[lucky-clover-gazette]

prince's gambit highlights & annotations

chapter 16

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

The Vaskian women, whose allegiance was tentative, retreated with the carts—except two, who stayed to fight on the understanding that they would receive the horses of any men they killed.

HORSE GIRLS UNITED

‘The Regency,’ said Laurent, addressing the troop, ‘thought to take us outnumbered. It expected us to roll over without a fight.’ Damen said: ‘We will not let them cow us, subdue us or force us down. Ride hard. Don’t stop to fight the front line. We are going to smash them open. We are here to fight for our Prince!’

THEY’RE SPEECHING TOGETHER <3

He recognised, in himself, that he was angry, and that it had less to do with Aimeric’s betrayal than with the Regent, the malicious rumours that the Regent employed—warping the truth, warping men, while the Regent himself remained pristine and untouched as he set his men to fight against their own Prince.

big breakthrough with the nice vs. good theme!

‘It would not have been my strategy.’ ‘I know. You overcomplicate things.’

‘Then we’ll have a swift victory. I meant what I said. If we sleep tonight inside the walls of Ravenel, in the morning, I will take off the collar from around your neck. This is the battle you came here to fight.’

spoiler alert: not only will you be sleeping tonight inside the walls of ravenel, you will be sleeping together tonight inside the walls of ravenel

He felt Touars’s blade drive into the ground, slicing through the straps of his helm, and—where it should have hit his neck—scraping with a metallic sound down the side of his gold collar.

He turned, the truth on his face. Stripped bare, he could not hide himself in that moment. Laurent, he thought, and lifted his gaze to meet the eyes of the man who had witnessed the last words of Lord Touars. It wasn’t Laurent. It was Jord. He was staring at Damen in horror, his sword lax in his hand. ‘No,’ said Damen. ‘It’s not—’ The final moments of the battle faded around Damen, as he came to full comprehension of what Jord was seeing. Of what Jord, for the second time that day, was seeing. ‘Does he know?’ said Jord.

probably the worst possible person to hear this, ngl. since he’s nursing a betrayal and heartbreak.

okay so the first time i read this, i didn’t think laurent knew. so this was SO fucking stressful. like i felt so bad for laurent. and i still do, i feel bad for both of them! but there is a relief to knowing that laurent knows. but damen still has to deal with the anxiety of this between now and the reveal, which i think is important for his development. and laurent is still in denial, even if he knows who damen is. that’s how he allows himself to be vulnerable at all, which is ultimately what he needs.

Laurent reined in beside him, still astride the same horse, dried blood in a stripe along its shoulder. ‘Well, Captain,’ he said. ‘Now we merely have to take an impregnable fortress.’ His eyes were bright.

modern au gamer laurent…

All men would receive care.

laurent is trying to do war in the most honorable way possible

‘Are you here to kill me?’ said Jord. ‘No,’ said Damen. There was a silence. They stood two paces apart. Jord had a knife drawn, and held it low, a white-knuckled fist around the hilt.

jord’s definitely thinking about aimeric and orlant

‘You hated us so much, all this time? It wasn’t enough to invade, to take our land? You had to play this—sick game as well?’

jord i get where you’re coming from, and this was heart-wrenching on my first read, but i assure you that laurent’s game is sicker and he’s been playing it on purpose

‘Tell him?’ said Jord. ‘Tell him the man he trusts has lied, and lied again, has deceived him into the worst humiliation?’

babygirl you’re projecting a little bit

‘You killed his brother, then got him under you in bed.’ Put like that, it was monstrous. It’s not that way between us, he ought to have said, and didn’t, couldn’t. He felt hot, then cold. He thought of Laurent’s delicate, needling talk that froze into icy rebuff if Damen pushed at it, but if he didn’t—if he matched himself to its subtle pulses and undercurrents—continued, sweetly deepening, until he could only wonder if he knew, if they both knew, what they were doing.

craft note: this is just beautifully written. i love the way pacat describes their mutual attraction and the way they interact with each other

He’ll mourn your loss, and never know.

bet you wish you could have had that with aimeric, jord, instead of what you got

craft note: honestly, wow. this is a really clever way to keep the “does laurent know” mystery compelling. jord and aimeric as a parallel to laurent and damen distracts the reader from the idea of laurent knowing, and it misleads the reader into seeing the dynamics as parallel. like, jord, damen, and most likely the reader all think at this point that damen = aimeric in this situation; the traitor, who knows more than his partner. and it’s dramatic and emotional and limited to damen’s pov, so it’s easy for a first time reader to buy into it.

but in reality, the one with more knowledge here is laurent, who both knows who damen is and knows that damen doesn’t know that he knows who he is. the jord/aimeric thing and the upcoming nicaisening are both really smart things to insert at this point in the plot, so most first-time readers get to experience the shock of the reveal without being intentionally misdirected in a way that feels cheap.

it’s not satisfying to be outright told one thing is true (laurent doesn’t know) and then have a “twist” that it’s actually untrue. but because pacat takes the care to plant the suggestion of laurent’s ignorance through a parallel to another character, the reader is the one filling in the blanks. so then when the truth is plainly revealed, the reader gets to rethink everything, see what they missed, and not feel annoyed or misinformed.

‘You’re gone by the time the sun hits the middle of the sky, or I tell him,’ said Jord. ‘And what he did to you in the palace will seem like a lover’s kiss compared with what will happen to you then.’

jord you look so silly now that i know the twist. you underestimate laurent’s cognitive dissonance and the power of love that isn’t simply predicated on sex. maybe if you and aimeric had grown to respect each other as people first, like damen and laurent, things could have gone differently. just sayingggggg

‘You fill me with horror,’ said Jord. His hands were tight on his knife. Both his hands, now.

oh shut up. damen’s fine.