#Would love to be able to support myself someday.

[chartreuxcatz]

*sobbing* I WANNA BE A PHILANTHROPIST SO BAAAAAAAAAD

But alas, i too am broke as shit

[fortes-fortuna-iogurtum]

hhhhh why are symphony tickets so expensive >.<

[honey-flustered]

Along For The Ride (Part 1 of 2)

MDNI +18 Only!!

Farmer!Older!Beefy!Eddie Munson/ Mean!Bougie!Fem!Reader

Summary: A drunken joyride leads you in the midst of Eddie Munson, who’s seeking repayment for the damages made to his property by you. Fed up with your constant misbehavior, your father makes a deal with Eddie in which you will do some manual labor around his farm in exchange. You’re not too pleased with this arrangement and your differences in personalities lead to a clashing of heads…and tongues?? (8.5k words)

A/N: I have not written in ages. It is really tough being a writer with the pressures I place on myself to be perfect, to gain more likes and followers, to write things as quickly as possible. I’m learning to fall in love with writing again. It’s a slow process but someday I’ll be able to share all the great things I’ve been working on for the past year. Anyway, here is my start to starting my journey again and thank you all for supporting me.

CW: fluff and lots of angst, enemies to friends to lovers trope, SLOW BURN, age gap (Eddie 40s, Reader 20s), mean!affluent!reader, bad girl reader, light smut/eventual heavy smut, bratty!reader, ugly duckling turned swan trope, reader character development, mean friends, minor canon events from tv series (chrissy death, eddie accused of chrissy and other victims deaths), limited knowledge of farm life and work, drunk driving, consumption of marijuana and alcohol, committing of property crimes, return of reader’s ex, mentions of insecurities, descriptive and graphic language, lots of sexual tension, kissing, dry humping, eddie cums in his pants

You bellow out the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Getting Back Together” along with your three friends, not a care in the world for who would be unfortunate enough to hear you in the chilly 3 am evening. The girls pass around a bottle of tequila when your best friend, Tana, —seated in the passenger seat— attempts to pour a shot into your mouth.

“Babe, no. I drank enough at the club. The guy that asked for my number was practically throwing them at me. I had to kill a plant by pouring my drinks onto the poor thing. Men ruin everything.” You pout.

“Amen to that, sis,” Tana says, snapping her fingers. “Had a guy tell me that he thinks I’m the one for him. Turns out, he’s married with a baby on the way.”

You all playfully point your index fingers to your tongues, faking gags before leading into a giggling fit.

“I had a guy ghost me because he didn’t like me sharing my selfies on social media. Said that ‘they should only be exclusive to him’.” Your friend, Essie, shares.

“I feel like we need to get back at men for the shit they put us through,” Brooke chimes in. “I’m in the mood to make a man fall to his knees, whimpering for mercy.”

“You kinky little minx!” You laugh. “Are you trying to make men pay or are you trying to get laid?”

“Can it be both?” Brooke says, biting her acrylic-donned thumb.

“I say…” Tana calls attention to herself, raising a hand. “We choose a random house on this street to wreak our vengeance. One of the homes has to belong to a man.”

“I’m in!” Essie beams.

“Me too.” Brooke says, high fiving Tana for her devious plan.

“I don’t know, guys,” You say, reluctant to rain on their parade. “We’re pretty drunk but I don’t think we’re drunk enough to want vandalism charges. Let’s just go to one of those rage rooms and let out all this pent up energy. We could scream out female rage lines from our fave movies and break shit.”

“That’s…okay but it’s not as epic as Tana’s idea,” Essie says, leaning forward to be in better earshot range. “Come on, y/n. It’s only for tonight. You know, we’re just having some harmless girl time fun. It’s not like we’ll be breaking and entering. We’re just gonna do some silly stuff then leave. Pleeaaase. I just broke up with my boyfriend. I need this.”

You take a quick glance at the girls who all send big, puppy eyes your way. You sigh then laugh. “I can’t believe we’re doing this.”

They cheer at your response, knowing that they’ve won. You raise a hand to cease their cheers and they quickly go dead silent. “Since, I’m the most sober one here. We’re doing this my way,” While staring at the road ahead, a smirk slowly spreads across your face. “I get to choose the place.”

——————

The four of you sneak onto the open field, tiptoeing through the tall grass. Based on the smell wafting in the air, you are certain there are barn animals nearby.

With a nasal tone in her voice from holding her nose, Tana says, “Ugh, how could anyone work around this icky smell?”

“Shhh,” You order, putting a finger to your lips. “If we need to be quiet if this is going to be a successful in and out mission. Do you remember the plan?”

“How could I forget? It’s the most basic prank ever.” Tana whisper-yells, holding up the two rolls of toilet paper in her hands.

“It’s still a huge pain to the homeowner,” You defend confidently before letting out a wicked giggle. “He will be so inconvenienced when he wakes up in the morning.”

Tana shakes her head lovingly at you before peering to her right and left. “Umm, y/n, where’s Essie and Brooke?”

Your eyes widen as you unintelligibly peer to your right and left as well despite knowing the space is empty. “Oh shit,” You facepalm. “How could we have let them out of our sight? Who knows what those morons are doing?”

“Hew we awe,” Essie carries a ‘baby talk’ inflection as she materializes from the dark bluish night with a medium-sized pig cradled in her arms. “Evwyone meet Wilbur.”

“I’m sorry but where the hell did you get that pig?!” You say, no longer able to keep your voice to a whisper.

“The barn, obviously.” Brooke replies.

“What happened to not breaking and entering?! I take my eyes off you two for a second and you’ve already broken a handful of crimes.” You scold.

“But we’re saving him, y/n. You don’t want this pig to become bacon, do you?” Essie says, holding up the pig near your face only for it to wiggle out of her grasp and take off running.

“We’ve gotta catch that stupid fucking pig!” You yell and the girls obey. The group comically chases the animal around, slipping and sliding through mud and crops. In the chaos, the pig makes contact with the toilet paper you’ve long abandoned, tossing it around with the help of the forceful winds to guide it all over the field.

You spot the pig approaching the door of a small blue cottage. You dive forward, fully immersed in the thick mud that soiled your white tank top and denim skirt and you cared little for this fact with your concerns focused on obtaining the pig in your arms. He squeals and whines against you as you plead for its compliance.

Suddenly the porch lights turn on, shining down on you like a spotlight. The door swings open and not long after you’re forced to look into the eyes of your prosecutor from the ground.

A rugged, older man with unruly, curls of brown hair cascading down his shoulders and the deepest brown eyes that are as large as buttons. The same eyes that were now staring down angrily at you.

“What the fuck?” He says through gritted teeth. It’s not until he sees the full extent of your wrath that he decides to emphasize his previous statement with a fury of a thousand suns. “What. The. Fuck!”

You swallow hard, releasing the pig as you collect yourself off the floor. The man feels no need to check whether his pet had entered the home safely, wanting his eyes to focus on you in case you tried running.

“I-I could explain. W-we were just—”

“We?” He abruptly interrupts, upholding the gruffness in his tone.

You were afraid that he’d say that. After all, those bitches were a little too quiet for your liking. After looking behind you to confirm their abandonment, you slowly face your prosecutor once again.

Swallowing the hard lump in your throat you begin, you try scrambling for an answer. This is already a very terrifying situation. This man looked terrifying himself. He’s robust in build, littered with tattoos, and had piercings. You don’t see men like him everyday or at all on your side of town. Men usually groomed themselves like ken dolls where you come from. But when you have come across men that look like him, the experience has always been a negative one—-only this time you were the one at fault.

“I’m sorry.” You shrug with an awkward smile then tack on a “Please don’t call the cops.”

He sighs deeply. “I’m not going to call the cops…”

“Oh, thank god.” You sigh in relief, a hand to your beating chest.

“You’re going to call your parents,” He finishes. “And you are going to tell them that we’re going to come up with a solution for this or I will be calling the police.”

“Oh, fuuuck.” You groan.

————-

“I’m so very sorry, sir. Truly,” Your father says after profusely apologizing for the 7th time since his arrival. “She’s been acting out a lot ever since she’d gone away to university. My wife and I don’t know this girl but she is not the y/n we raised.”

You roll your eyes at the comment, texting away at your friends who wanted to know the details of your capture. Meanwhile, you’re too busy cursing them out to care about how badly you’ll be punished for this.

“I’m just glad things didn’t get any worse or when someone could’ve seriously ended up getting hurt.” The farmer says, staring pointedly at you.

“Now I was thinking…though I could very well pay for the trouble and we could be out of your hair, I’m a man that likes to go above and beyond when it comes to taking responsibility. My daughter’s exceedingly aware of this fact about myself,” Your father scoots his seat up closer to the table, fingers together as if proposing a business plan. “It appears that you might need some temporary assistance in tending to your farm work. If you’re looking for an extra set of hands to help with some manual labor for the next two weeks, my daughter is happy to oblige.”

“Excuse me!” You say, attention fully invested in the conversation. “Tell me you're joking.”

“Nope. You are grounded. Meaning that though you are visiting for spring break, you are currently under my roof, my rules. I am still your parent after all. To clarify, there will be no going out with your friends. You are to come straight to

Mr. Munson’s farm every day after your time at your mother’s shop. You’ll help the gentleman around with whatever he asks of you.” Your father explains.

“And what if I don’t?” You ask, defiant.

“Then you’ll be cut off and you’ll have to earn money on your own.”

“Y-you m-mean a j-job?” You ask, horrified.

“Exactly.” Your father confirms.

You stare wide-eyed at farmer Munson who has a prominent smirk on his face. “I like the sound of that, sir. You’re a good man.”

You shriek in anger. “You’re the worst!”

You furiously stomp out of the home, hating your life and men once again.

————

Your father had no doubts that you’d be going to work on the farm once he’d threaten to take away your (his) money. When you arrive at the address, you’re immediately reminded how you're not on your side of town anymore. It’s officially Hickville.

Reluctantly knocking on the door, you hope that Eddie won’t answer the door, praying that he’s changed his mind and took the money instead. Unfortunately, he answers the door with a huge smile in contrast to your deadpan demeanor.

“Oh, come on, lighten up, sugar. I made some of my famous iced tea ahead. One taste and it’ll all seem worth it.”

“It’s not fair!” You rant, pushing passed him. “Why am I being the only one punished? This was all Brooke’s idea. And Essie was the one who stole the goddamn pig.”

“His name is Wilbur,” Eddie corrects. “And who are we talking about exactly?”

“Doesn’t matter,” You sigh. “Bad things always happen to good people.”

“I’ll say.” Eddie says, staring you down.

“Why are you staring at me like that?”

“You really think you’re the victim in all of this?”

“Are you?”

“I don’t know. Why don’t we check out the lovely view of the TP’d trees blowing in the wind?” He asks sarcastically, gesturing to his window.

“It’s just a little toilet paper. Never had a little prank done on you.”

“Wow,” He feigns a smile, shaking his head at you. “Your audacity to diminish all the negative things you’ve done to me into the spirit of good fun is astounding.”

“My therapist did always say I have a knack for looking at things on the bright side.” You retort.

“Is that so?” He asks mockingly. “Well then, you’re gonna love this special job I have for you.”

—————

Which leads you to the situation you’re in now. You’re staring into the eyes of a cow whose large brown eyes kind of reminded you of farmer Munson except they actually held kindness in them and not pure disdain.

“There’s no way I’m milking this thing. I have no idea how to do that,” You say, prompting Eddie to raise a suggestive eyebrow at you. “You know what I mean, pervert.”

Suddenly, an idea clicked in your head. Maybe you could use this ‘pervert’ thing to your advantage. He’s obviously single or he wouldn’t be this much of a crab. You can easily seduce him and get out of doing anything!

“Mr. Munson,” You say with a purr in your voice as you press yourself up against him. “I’m actually really good at milking other things after all. You’ve got me pegged at that. Maybe…I can show you just how skillful my mouth and hands can be for you.”

He laughs. He fucking chuckles in your face. How fucking dare he?! “That was rich. Seriously, that performance was just…moving. You can try to sway me with sex all ya want, hun. Trust me there are women and men who’ve tried,” He slightly narrows the gap between your faces, staring you down. “I don’t buckle under that kinda pressure, sugar. It’ll take a lot more than salacious words to make my dick jump. Now why don’t we go back to the task at hand, shall we?”

You’re fuming. This asshole really thinks he can get away with making you out to be a fool. Well, two could play that game. You’re going to make his existence for the next two weeks feel like a total nightmare.

He seats you on a small stool beside the cow before instructing you on how to milk her. You halfheartedly reach for an udder, shrieking at the feel of it between your fingers.

“This is so gross!” You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut. “I’m going to disassociate and imagine that I’m in a niche boutique in Manhattan.”

“Ah, spending daddy’s money even in your dreams. How thoughtful.” He mutters.

“You have no right to judge me just because you think I’m privileged.” You snap.

“I don’t ‘think’ you’re privileged. You are privileged. See the difference?”

You tug on an udder, purposefully targeting him as the milk drenches him. His face puckers his face before staring daggers at you.

“Oops.” You say in a sickeningly sweet tone.

——————

You begrudgingly enter your house key into the doorknob, body aching from the day's work. The moment you enter, your father’s happy-go-lucky spirit engulfs you and it takes everything in you not to explode.

“Hey, honey, how was your first day?”

“Question, father,” You begin, calling him the formal term instead of “papa” or “dad”. “Do you love me?”

“Now what kind of silly question is that?” He reverts back with his own question, befuddled.

“I’m just curious because I don’t think a father who truly loves their daughter would ever put her through the kind of hell I just went through today.” You respond.

“You milked a cow,” Your teenager brother, Aspen, enters the dining room before beginning a dramatic act. “Someone save the poor girl! She’s gaining new life experiences! You are such primadonna.”

“Shut up, ya little twerp.” You say, pulling his hoodie over his face.

“Your brother’s right, dear,” Your father says. “You are being really dramatic. I don’t get it. You never used to be this way. You loved reading books and conducting personal science experiments and geeking out over your favorite movies—”

“That just isn’t me anymore, dad. The sooner you accept that, the better it is for us all.” You grumble.

He decides to drop the topic in favor of keeping the peace for the dinner your mom prepared for the family to enjoy as a unit. But your mind couldn’t help but to wander back to those times where you were seen as a nerd and bullied for being different and having different interests. University was a different story though. There, you were able to reinvent yourself into the hot bad bitch you know today.

But why is it that your father’s words resonated so much with you? Had it been because it wasn’t the makeover or the new friends and partners you’d make along the way…it was the fact that he knew that you, yourself, couldn’t believe your own act. He knows that you're lying to yourself about liking the person you’ve become. No way could ever admit such a thing to him. And it’s not like you’d feel this way forever. Once you’re done with this hell labor with Eddie “The Devil” Munson, you can go back to your popular life.

————

The routine continued including your constant pushback. It went: shadowing your mother for the day with her bridal clients, heading over to the Munson farm soon after, non stop bickering between the two of you for 2 hours, then heading back home to soak your aching body and curse out the world.

Today is no different with the task of you grooming the stupid pig that got you into this mess in the first place.

“Wilbur. His name’s—”

“I know!” You shout at him, gathering the metal pail and wooden brush from the table. You grumpily made your way to the backyard of the home in search of the shed supposedly carrying the soap to clean the pig. When you notice Wilbur rushes out of a trailer home stationed in the backyard. “Hey, get back here!”

The pig is long gone and you don't care to chase after it once your interest is piqued by the mystery home in the backyard. Searching around to make sure there were no signs of Mr. Munson, you enter the place cautiously.

It’s as if the trailer had been stuck in the 1980s. Everything is vintage and old looking but also well kept. You see photos of the younger Eddie Munson scattered around the walls of the home and—-though you hate to admit it—he was just as handsome as he is now. In some of the photos including one pinned to the fridge by a magnet, you can see an older man. Maybe his father.

Your eye catches an old poetry assignment also pinned to the fridge with a large ‘C+’ above it. A little note at the top explaining his grade being contributed to some misspellings and some inappropriate language despite the good work.

You raise the paper to your eyes and read:

If I Were A Hobbit

If I were a hobbit, I’d be so free

I’d frolic in the grass and smoke some trees

With furry feet and a merry heart

From adventure’s call, I’d never depart

With Bilbo’s tales, I’d while away time.

In the beautiful land of Middle Earth’s rhyme

I’d wander the fields beneath the sun

I’d travel it world cause it’s all in good fun

If I were a hobbit, maybe I wouldn’t get laid

But, hey, it’s goddamn worth the price I paid

You giggle, amused at how fun Mr. Munson had been long ago. You wonder what could’ve happened. Immersed in the poem, you were unaware of his arrival until he whispered haughtily into your ear.

“We’re continuing the trend of breaking and entering, I see.”

You jolt away, facing him. “I-I’m sorry. But you said that I had to look for a shed. Should be more specific.”

“This looks like a shed to you, sugar?”

“Trailer…shed…it’s no different.”

He chuckles dryly. “You are a piece of work.”

“Look who’s talking? You know, you seemed a lot more fun when you were a teenager.” You comment, holding up the poem.

“Give me that,” He yanks from your hands, placing it back on the fridge. “Ain’t anyone ever tell you it’s wrong to go snooping around people’s things. Wait, who am I kidding? I met your father. Even if he were to have taught you these things, you’d probably go against him.”

“You’re a pain in my ass.” You hiss.

“Right back atcha, sweetheart.” He retorts.

“Then, I hope you don’t mind if I continue to do so.” You say, pushing past him to go into the hallway.

“Where do you think you’re going?” He asks, hot on your trail.

You enter a bedroom and it’s another blast from the past. The typical kind of teenage boy bedroom. It’s no shock to you that he's a metalhead. You begin to rummage through his collection.

“You little brat,” He huffs. “I’m too old to be dealing with this shit!”

“Live a little,” You say, popping in a blues cassette into the radio. “Dance with me.”

He stands in the middle of the room, arms crossed as you begin to dance in circles around him. Your boot kicks up a newspaper article crumpled up on the ground and you go to retrieve it, ignoring Eddie’s protests.

It is an article about 15 years ago that expresses Eddie Munson’s exoneration in the death of Chrissy Cunningham and him receiving only a $50,000 settlement. It also goes into detail that his only known immediate family and caretaker, Wanye Munson, had died just a month before his release.

“Oh my god, Mr. Munson. I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t…” You trail off, knowing what to say or even where to begin.

“It’s all in the past now,” He sighs. “Besides, I’m fine now. I still have my friends. They are like family. They’ve got their own lives but when they can they check on me. That’s more than enough.”

Without thinking, your arms curl around his body and for the first time you get to feel his body against yours and it’s addicting. He tenses for a moment, unsure whether this is okay but eventually he melts into your embrace.

His beefy arms cradle you, a large hand resting atop your head. Your heartbeats fall in sync with one another’s and you allow yourself the brief moment to nuzzle into his chest, the chest hairs peeking above his tank top tickles the tip of your nose.

You dare to look him in the eyes, seeing them already looking down at you. They were wet with unshed tears, pleading with you for something. It’s the first time you’ve seen that look on his face and like a magnet you're drawn to it. You’re suddenly moving on your own accord, tiptoeing to brush your nose against his. He lowers his face to your level. Your lips are only a mere centimeters from his full ones when the sound of his phone ringing takes you both out of the moment.

He’s quick to pull away as if freed from an intense spell. Excusing himself, he leaves the room and heads outside. You’re left standing in the room alone, the soft, rhythmic melody of blues playing in the background.

Willing yourself to cool down, you decide to go on with your original task and find Wilbur while hoping it’ll shake off the electric feeling he left on your skin.

————————-

Bathing the pig proved to be quite the distraction because this little shit is making you use all your brain power to keep it still. Having stripped into just your bikini and rainboots, you held the pig for dear life as you washed and scrubbed at him and practically yourself.

You notice Eddie from the corner of your eye, stifling laughter as he leaned against a nearby tree.

“By the way, I’ve already washed off all the barn animals, tended to my crops, and was able to make myself a sandwich in the meantime. You, however, you’re still working on Wilbur. Or should I say, he’s working you.”

“Hardee har har,” You say, unamused. “Will you just help me with this pig?”

“Alright, alright,” He says, heading over to you. The pig immediately jumps from his grasp and into your arms. “It’s all in the technique.”

“Easy for you to say. He already knows you.” You grumble.

“Now what you’re gonna want to do is come up behind him. He's a big fella so in order to hold him down you’ll need to straddle him like this and place your hands down firmly on his back. That way he’ll know to stay put,” Eddie says getting into position, his boots digging in the dirt for some leverage. “He’ll tussle with ya a little but it’s only because he’s not used to being handled by other humans. He’s still a little frantic with me even after all these years. I saved him from the slaughterhouse so it comes with the territory.”

“You mean you weren’t going to turn him into bacon?”

“No, sugar, Wilbur’s family. Now get up on here with me. Don’t put too much of your weight on him. Only just enough to hold him down.” He instructs.

You follow suit, straddling the pig and placing your hands over Eddie’s before looking back over your shoulder at him. “Like this?”

“Just like that, sugar. You’re a natural. See? Now I’m just gonna go ahead and get up and you’ll take the—”

“What? No, don’t leave me! He’ll just shake me off again.” You protest.

Sure enough, the pig began to shake the both of you off its back, side to side until you both fell back into the soil. You fall right into Eddie’s lap and he instinctively grips your hips hard, causing you to let out a yelp and scramble out of his grasp.

You sat on your knees, looking at him with wide eyes and he returned with the same expression. The blush on his face intensifies and you follow the way his hands rush to pull the cowboy hat from his head to hold against his lap.

He quickly looks away from you, clearing his throat.

“You’ve got—erm, your bikini bra…” You’ve never seen him so flustered. So speechless. You eish you could relish in it but when you realize exactly what he’s insinuating, you feel your cheeks begin to heat up as you wish the world will swallow you whole.

Your tit is hanging out for the world to see. A fucking nipple slip! Why did God cease at nothing to make you the butt of every joke?

You briskly adjust your bra, shaking in your boots. The itching desire to run heavy on your mind.

“I-I s-should go,” Your shaky legs somehow allow you to stand as you peer down at him. “Have a good evening, Mr. Munson.”

You stiffly power walk your way to the small cottage home to gather your discarded clothes on the porch. Eddie’s large hand rests on your shoulder.

“Wait! I can’t send you off like this. You’ll track mud in your car.”

“It’s not like I haven’t done that before.” You scoff.

“Why don’t you shower here and I’ll offer you some fresh clothes? I’ll be making my stir fry in case you're hungry.”

“You being nice to me all of a sudden, Mr. Munson?” You ask, raising an eyebrow. “Can’t help but think there’s some kind of hidden agenda.”

He smiles a genuine 100-watt smile. “No, sugar. I’m just extending some needed hospitality is all.”

—————

You pull on the long sleeved t-shirt Eddie offered you, studying its logo. A horned demon, swords, dice and so on.

“It’s my old high school club t-shirt.” He says, coming to sit beside you on the couch.

“You were in a Dungeons and Dragons club?”

“You know D’N’D?”

“Know it?! I loved that game.” You say, excitedly.

“I didn’t think kids in your generation still played that game.” He laughs.

“Oh, yeah,” You nod. “I was a dungeon master. My campaigns were fire. Anyone who’d joined my games would always go around telling their friends to come see me in action.”

“No way! I was a dungeon master, too! I took it a little too seriously at times but it was like my second passion,” He looks you up and down. “I would have never thought someone like you would be into that kinda stuff.”

“I’ll ignore your sly comment to clarify that I wasn’t always like this back in high school.”

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“Well, you heard my dad. I used to be a goody two-shoes. A nerd. And I even dressed the part, too. The old me would’ve totally geeked at your Hobbit poem. I’m different now though.”

“What’s so wrong about being a nerd?” He inquires, scooting closer to you.

“I used to get bullied everyday. Boys would ignore me. Even the geeks would only ever see me as a friend. When I got to university, that all changed. Everyone wanted me.”

“I think if I’d known you then, we’d probably be good friends.”

“Yeah right. I seemed like the bad boy type who falls for the cheerleader. You wouldn’t have looked twice in my direction.”

“No,” Eddie says firmly, staring you intensely in the eyes. “I would see you.”

He repeats for emphasis. “I see you.”

You swallow the hard lump in your throat, choking back tears. You’ve never felt so vulnerable. It’s strange to be so open with a man who 5 days ago you would have choked with your bare hands.

“Besides,” He says, breaking the silence. “I think it’s you who would have ignored me. I’m not the bad boy you think I am. Sure, I was a bit of a troublemaker here and there. But I was a huge geek, too. Hadn’t even lost my virginity until age 36. A year after my release. No girl wanted to fuck me back in high school. I was ‘the freak’. To some people today, I still am one regardless if I’m innocent.”

“I would’ve believed you’re innocent. I’d have been by your side, too. Us, geeks, have to stick together, yeah?”

He huffs out a laugh. “Yeah.”

There’s that magnetic pull again. The attraction that makes you want to be as close to him as possible. You resist not wanting to make that move again but he takes the initiative, leaning in further only this time you're interrupted once again with the sound of your phone ringing. You throw a silent fit in your head. Eddie’s just as frustrated, expelling a long duration of air from his nose.

“Hello.” You say, answering the phone.

“Hey, baby,” A familiar voice says on the line. “It’s been months. I still think about our time in Venice and this spring fever is only making it harder to ignore.”

Now the memories come flooding in. It’s an ex-fling you met while studying abroad in Italy during your freshman year of university. The man who’d taken your virginity and showed you the ropes to popularity. The moment you left Italy you expected him to call you back but he immediately ghosted you. From then on, you became the maneater you are today.

“What do you want?”

You, of course. I hear you are back in your hometown. Luckily for you, I am doing some research here and I was wondering—-“

“Luckily for me? Are you on drugs, Stefan? I don’t care if you want me. You could forget my number and then you’ll forget me. Have a goodnight.” You quickly hang up the call, ignoring his pleas.

“Is everything alright?” Eddie asks, noticing the way you’re hyperventilating.

“I am now,” You sigh. “That was my ex. He was also my first. He treated me like shit made me feel stupid and like I needed him as if he created me. And back then, I felt like I did need him. Then he ghosted me. It felt good to give him a piece of my mind although I wish I could have said more.”

“I think you said enough. I’m certain you hit him where it hurts.” He laughs.

“I should probably go.” You say, standing up from the couch to grab your coat.

“What happened to staying for dinner?” He asks.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Munson”

“Eddie. You can call me Eddie.”

“Eddie,” You say, testing his name on your tongue. You’re not exactly sure if you’re ready to be this informal with him despite your almost kisses and the boob slip incident. “I’m sorry but his call has left me shaken. I think I need to be in the company of my girls.”

“You mean, the girls who got you into trouble and left you behind? The ones your parents warned you to stay away from?”

“Come on, dude, I need this. It’s not like you can give me great advice about guys.”

“I could. Considering I am one.”

“Well, I don’t think we’re close enough for that kind of session.”

“We just had this whole heart to heart. I thought we were seeing some improvement in our friendship.” Eddie says.

“We’re friends?”

“Us, geeks, stick together?”

“That’s just an oath. Doesn’t exactly confirm a friendship between us.”

He exhales deeply, trying to contain his anger. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t mind if I tell your father about your little hangout.”

“Are you blackmailing me?” Your eyes narrow at him.

“That would suggest that I’d be getting anything of value out of this which I wouldn’t be. Therefore, no this isn’t blackmail but it is definitely a threat. I don’t care if we’re friends. I don’t care to be your friend, sugar. But as the more responsible adult between us, I think it’s within our best interest that you don’t hang out with the people who cause you to commit crimes. So, I think I’ll be taking you home, hmm?”

“And what about my car?”

“I’ll take good care of it for tonight. I’ll pick you up tomorrow for your next job.” He smiles smugly.

If looks could kill, he’d be 7 feet under and you’d already be in hell.

————

Eddie pulls up to the front of your house. The whole ride there had been silent. You angrily gather your things, hurriedly trying to exit his van.

“Have a goodnight, sugar!” He shouts as you slam the door in his face.

Once you’re inside, you do the routine process of angrily ranting out your annoyance with farmer Munson while stomping angrily up the stairs. Your family used to this by now simply goes about business as usual.

You dial up Tana and after a couple rings she answers. “Hey, bitch! I was just about to text you the news. Did you hear who’s in town?”

“Yeah, Stefan, I know. How’d you know?”

“He's been calling me nonstop asking for you. Says he wants to talk to you.”

“I already did. Told him to fuck off,” You say. “And I thought I’d feel a lot better about it but I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get to stomp on his weirdly-shaped small dick.”

“Oh, yeeahh. I remember the dick pic he sent you. It is weird, isn’t it? Like an undeveloped banana. Anywho…you wanna get high at my place and watch America’s Next Top Model reruns. I’ve got Jell-O shots.” She singssongs the last statement.

“I can’t remember. I’m on lockdown,” You sigh. “If I get into any more trouble or I might as well hand over a contract of my soul to the devil.”

“Bitch, you are a grown woman. These are the best years of our lives where we’re supposed to live it to the fullest. Sneak out! I’m coming over to pick you up.”

“Tana, n—” But she’s already hung up the call. Sometimes, you really hate this girl. With no choice, you’re forced to make a plan.

Firstly, you create a human-shaped pile in your bed, disguising it with your comforter. Next, you’ll be climbing out of your window and quietly land on your lawn. Finally, you enter your friend’s car and you’ll be homefree.

Although, the climb is a lot more daunting than you anticipated. It seemed like a lot of a higher jump from where you are standing. Tana’s car pulls in and she rushes out to jump up and wave, whisper-yelling to encourage you to do it.

“Tana, this is fucking crazy. You always make me do crazy shit.” You yell down at her.

“But it’s all for the sake of fun experiences.” She retorts. “Come on and jump. Be the bad bitch, you are. Think for a second. WWBD: What would Beyonce do?”

“She'd probably fire you as a friend.” You growl.

“Fair enough.”

“Okay, I’m ready to jump. Just be ready to catch me.”

“What?” Before Tana could register what you meant, you jumped, hurtling into her arms and straight to the ground.

“Huh, that wasn’t so bad.” You smile.

“Yeah, because I’m the one breaking your fall.” Tana groans.

“Payback’s a bitch, love.”

—————

“So, is the farmer plowing your garden?” Tana asks, while applying mascara to your eyelashes.

“Tana!”

“What? That’s got to be the only reason you’re officially over Stefan.” She says.

“I was already over Stefan. Eddie’s just my headache.”

“You’re on first name bases with him. Oh, you are definitely fucking him.”

“I’m not!” You insist.

“And did you say Eddie? That’s the infamous Eddie Munson. How could I have not seen the connection? He’s so hot. Is that okay to say about a murderer?”

“He’s not a murderer.” You quickly defend him causing Tana to raise her hands in surrender.

“Yikes, I’m sorry I didn't mean to offend your friend.”

“He’s not my…well, he is. But…he’s not a murderer. He never killed her. I did some digging on the internet and this town used to be really strange back then. Not how it is now. I don’t know but the circumstances in all the deaths that happened back in ‘86 are all too weird. No human could do the things that I’ve seen done to those corpses.”

“Bummer. Guess we’ll never know who did it. I hear people who know of this case still harass him to this day. It’s no wonder he practically lives off the grid.” Tana sighs. A knock at her front door leads her away and you’re alone to ponder your thoughts.

An overwhelming need to comfort Eddie hits you as you thought back to the moment he’d asked you to stay for dinner. You assumed it was all a ploy to get into your pants but now you realize that he’d genuinely enjoyed the little company he’d gotten.

You hear Tana’s footsteps and a set of another coming up the stairs and before you could get a chance to tell her that you’ll be leaving, she enters the room with your ex.

“What the hell is this?” You sneer.

“I just thought maybe you should hear him out.” Tana says with an anxious smile.

“I’m out of here.” You say, grabbing your jacket from her bed.

“Where are you going? Your car’s not here.” Tana rushes down the stairs after you.

“I’ll walk!” You hiss over your shoulder, pulling the door open where you’re unfortunately met with the presence of your father, brother, and the devil himself.

“Mr. Munson? Dad? What the hell are you all doing here?”

“Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Your father says.

Stefan steps out from behind you, handing you a piece of paper. “I can see that it is a bad time, mi cara. Please, call me when you can. It’s a new number since you’ve blocked my old one.”

With that, he acknowledges the men before him with a nod and leaves. It’s not lost on you that Eddie stares him down with a dirty look on his face before his eyes land back on you.

“If I could just explain...” You begin.

“No, y/n, I’m sick of your excuses. You sneak off at night to god knows where. You reek of pot and booze. Is this the type of example you want to set for your younger brother? He’ll be graduating next year. Should anticipate that his time in university will consist of lollygagging around instead of focusing on his career?”

You look over to your brother who, instead of carrying a smirk, he had a look of genuine concern for you.

“I was just having fun.”

“Is that all you can think about? When did fun require drugs and alcohol and committing crimes?! Fun for you used to be attending cosplaying conventions, not vandalizing properties and drunk driving.”

“Well, I’m not that anymore so you could fucking stop clinging to the past.” You yell.

Your father is taken aback and you could faintly see the waterline rising in his eyes. “Get in the car. Now!”

You shoot Eddie an angry look. “Us, geeks, stick together? Forget anything I ever said about believing in you.”

Your heart twinges at the shattered look on his face at your statement. No longer wanting to see the extent of your blow, you brush past him and follow your father’s command.

“As for you, young lady,” your father points to Tana. “I will be in touch with your parents regarding your misconduct.”

Tana’s mouth drops in complete shock at this revelation and for a moment you actually are proud of your dad.

————-

You plop yourself onto your bed, crying your eyes out. Not even really crying for yourself but for Eddie. How could you have been so cruel to him? All for the reason that he cares enough about you to make sure you aren’t getting into trouble. There’s no way he’d ever forgive you for the way you spoke to him.

A knock on your door calls to your attention. You reluctantly answer, knowing you’ll be getting yet another punishment. You’re surprised to find your brother, Aspen, at the door.

“What do you want, twerp?” You say.

“You should really apologize to dad. You made him cry. I’ve never seen him like that.” He says.

“I know. It’s just that I hate when people remind me that I was…a loser. I didn’t mean to be so awful to him, though.”

“You were never a loser. In fact, I used to think you were pretty cool. I wanted to be comfortable in my weirdness as you were. I’m happy that you’re finding yourself and all. But you don’t have to change who you are to appease anyone. Not even dad. It’s your life, sis. If you like drinking and partying, that’s okay. If you like reading nerdy books and cosplaying, that’s okay, too. As long as it’s something you want to do and not something you do to make people like you. So stop acting like you’re some psycho fembot that wants to spend the rest of her life in and out of jail.”

“Wow, Aspen, I’m impressed. I did not know you could speak incoherent sentences.” You tease, pulling him into a hug.

“Fuck off.” He laughs, struggling to free from your tight embrace.

————

The next day, after some time to think of your apologies. You began with your father. He admitted to you that he was scared of the thought of you growing up and not needing him and let’s just say that the two of you ended up bawling in each other’s arms and confessing your love and appreciation for one another by the end of it. Your busy event planner mother stumbled into the scene both heartwarmed and confused.

The next one is going to be a tough one for you. But you felt prepared with a handy long written note in your hand in case you needed to find the right words.

However, the moment you arrived on his farm and were met with the look of indifference on his face, you began to break down sobbing. Hard. The thought letter long abandoned to the ground.

His demeanor immediately softens, placing a hand on your shoulder to comfort you.

“I-I’m s-so sorry….you…friend…mean…,” You gasp an unintelligible apology through your tears. “Bitchy…geeks…believe you…stupid pig Wilbur…never would have met a great man like youuuu.”

He gives you a small smile, pulling you into his embrace. “I know, I know.”

“Understand?” You ask.

“Yes, sugar. I understand what you said. Crystal clear.”

“Accept?”

“Yes, I accept your apology.” Eddie laughs.

“You don’t hate me?”

“I never hated you. Even when you’re being an annoying brat. ” He says.

“Good,” You sniffle, pulling away from him to wipe your tears and compose yourself. “I’m happy we’re friends again.”

“Friends? Who said anything about friends?” He quips before patting your shoulder. “Yeah, we’re friends again.”

“Now you could get to work and then later you can make me that stir fry that I've been dying to try.” You beam, skipping into his home.

“Only if you’re a good girl.” He challenges.

For the day, the two of you would groom the horses together. Of course, you were still quite jumpy and the bougie princess he knows you to be but it was nothing he didn’t find amusing about it anyway.

“You should seriously take a look at my note though. I really thought out all the things I had to say for you. My weeping apology was only the tip of the iceberg.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think anything in that note will top that moment but I’ll take your word for it.”

“Read it when you’re alone though. I don’t want to see your face when you read it.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you’ll be all smug about.” You say, rolling your eyes.

“And you say you hardly know me,” He chuckles then switches to a serious, gruff tone. “So…Stefan…he’s a looker. Thinking about going back on your word to end things with him.”

You laugh. “I’m playing it by ear. He says he’s changed but that’s every jerks’ favorite line.”

“Just let him know that if he ever hurts you, I’ll kick his ass.” He threatens.

You step into Eddie’s space, his face flushes at the close proximity. Your hand raises up to cradle his heated cheek. “You couldn’t hurt a fly, Edward Allan Munson.”

Lost in your eyes, he fails to notice you tug the joint nuzzled behind his ears. Until you raise it up to his face with a knowing smile. “You smoke weed?”

“Baby, I used to be a dealer. In fact, I still grow my own supply.”

“No way.”

“Oh yeah. Maybe I was the freak but those jocks and cheerleaders were begging for a piece of my supply.”

“You wouldn’t mind if we smoke this one together.” You suggest.

“After your father chewed you out for it last night?”

“He knows I do it. And I learned this morning, after our heart-to-heart, that he was once a pothead, too. And now that I know that you are also a pothead, not only does this confirm my personal theory that most people smoke weed but also this makes our friendship so much more interesting.”

“You’re starting to throw that whole ‘friendship’ word around a lot more enthusiastically now.”

“My friend’s a dealer. I’m going to take full advantage of that.” You loop your arm around his guiding him to an empty stable so you can both fall against the hay.

He picks the hay from his hair, laughing. “I don’t even have a lighter and the fumes are not safe for the animals.”

“Babe,” You say almost insulted. “I always carry a lighter. You never know when you’ll find yourself in an impromptu smoke session or possibly get lost in the middle of the woods. Besides, we released the animals into the field for their little recess. We’re the only animals left here. Just you and me.”

“Alright, fine I guess we’re doing this. Don’t tell your dad about this, though. This will just be a one time thing.”

“Mhm, yeah sure, bud,” You say nonchalantly, busying yourself with lighting the joint. You hand over the joint to him and he protests, wanting you to take the first hit. You oblige. “It’s your joint. Don’t you know the rules? The one who bringeth, smoke..eth.”

“You wanted it badly so I let you take it first.”

“I didn’t want it ‘badly’. I’m not a fucking addict,” You laugh, bellowing out a puff of smoke. “I just thought it’d be a nice bonding moment. Wanna see how you get when you’re high.”

“It’s nothing special. I’m the same as I am now.” He shrugs.

“You mean, ‘a stick in the mud’?”

He bumps you with his shoulder causing you to lay back against the hay.

“You jerk, I just pick all that out of my hair.”

“Serves you right. Now hand me the joint. You’re hogging it,” He tries to reach for it but you raise it above your head. “You’re such a tease.

He attempts to reach for it again, falling on top of you. His full weight on your body is so damn delicious it takes everything in you not to moan. It doesn’t help that the weed has heightened your senses making you feel EVERYTHING. The way his hot breath feels tickling your neck along with the way his curls on his head gently caress your skin as he reaches for the joint. He seems oblivious to the state he leaves you in even after he’s gotten it until he lets out a puff of smoke in the air then looks back down at you once again. It’s evident he can see the darkened lust in your eyes because of the way his adam’s apple bobs in his throat. He suddenly feels so thirsty and it isn’t because of the weed.

Afraid a moment like this will be interrupted once again, you lunge forward attacking his lips. He’s caught fullg by surprise, a strangled moan swallowed up in your frenzied fit of passion. You’re the one controlling the kiss, forcing him to roll on his back so you can grind down on the sizable erection in his jeans. The friction from the fabric of your lace underwear and the rough denim of his jeans are an undefeated combination against your puffy clit, sending flood after flood of your wetness to pool between your legs.

The kisses are sloppy. Your hands are everywhere; in his hair, yanking his shirt for dear life. His hands cup your face before entwining in your hair then they’re around your neck, unable to keep them still because he’d like to feel every part of you just as you wish to do to him. Every so often growls would escape your lips as you grind harder and harder against him.

“Fuck, Eddie, you feel so fucking good.” You whisper desperately into his ear.

“So do you, sugar. Ain’t even inside you yet and I’m already about to blow.” He groans, sweaty forehead pressed against your own.

“Can I fuck you, Mr. Munson?” You plead.

And the whine Eddie lets out confirms that it won’t be happening anytime soon. You look between your bodies, seeing the dark, wet patch on his jeans then back up at him.

He’s obviously embarrassed. “I’m sorry. It’s been a while.”

“That’s okay. Um, this was…this was really spontaneous.” You don’t immediately get off, wanting more and hoping he’d give you more so that he can make you cum, too.

Instead he grabs you by waist, lifting you off him in a hurry. “I’m sorry. I need to—-this was a mistake.”

And once again, he leaves you to your thoughts. All you could do is stare as he grew smaller and smaller in the distance, while you began to feel smaller and smaller on the inside.

[teaboot]

I have to remind myself that my characters don't have to be tortured or dramatic to be interesting.

My first DND character was a balding, paunchy, post-middle-aged human man whose wife had just left him and whose kids had grown up and moved away.

He quit his menial job and decided to take up music, something he'd never been very good at that didn't pay the bills, and become a bard.

He was bad at it. Really, really bad. His instrument was shit and he'd never had any formal lessons. On top of that, he was pretty tone-deaf.

BUT. He could play very, very bad noises very, very loud.

On our first campaign, he was cornered by a sea dragon and had no weapons, but by making a loud, horrible noise, he was able to startle it badly enough to lose grasp of the boat.

After that, he used it to herd a small crowd of goblins into a trap by sounding far bigger and more numerous a foe.

He never got much better, but he did grow his confidence, and won the affection and respect of his companions, who grew to support him in ways nobody else had before.

I had to stop playing him for a while after that, but last I had him, he was developing an interest in color and flare and fashion that he'd never paid much attention to before.

He didn't lose weight, or grow his hair back, or magically become younger, but he felt brighter, lighter, like he had a new lease on life, like he had something to offer and maybe he deserved to have a bit of fun, now and then, with good company.

He began to wonder if that was what he was missing, before. If perhaps that was why his marriage had wasted away. A lack of drive, of hope, of pride and passion.

I don't know where he would have gone on from there. I don't know if I wanted him to reconnect with his kids, or his ex wife, or his home town. Part of me likes the idea of finding his own way- settling and becoming good friends with his ex, something platonic but warm and fond, and reaching out to his kids and being there for his grandkids and someday passing away bright and loud and loved of old age, asleep in his bed, to be celebrated after by the loudest funeral with the worst music played by the most awful musicians his community had to offer, loud and proud and full of good humor.

Maybe they'd throw a festival, after that. An annual one, with firecrackers and trumpets and clanging pots and pans to scare away the monsters like he did, the roaring hero who came into his own a little later than usual, but wondrously all the same.

A symbol to show that you don't have to bend and squish and contort yourself to fit the space you're in- you can find another space, one that's just your size, and exist there exactly as you are

[annieqattheperipheral]

you have to read this in full!!

i gotchu from behind the $wall:

The day Luke Prokop shook the hockey world by coming out, he needed to get away.

And stop looking at his constantly buzzing phone.

It was July 21, 2021, and the right-shot defenseman had just become the first openly gay hockey player under an NHL contract. The Nashville Predators’ No. 73 pick in the 2020 draft was just 19 years old and hadn’t even turned pro yet. He didn’t know how it would impact his future. His nerves were fried.

But one text message was impossible to ignore. He didn’t recognize the number but certainly knew the name.

“Hey, it’s Auston Matthews. I wanted to congratulate you. I look forward to sharing the ice with you someday.”

Prokop was blown away. The Toronto Maple Leafs superstar wasn’t the most famous person to reach out — that honor goes to Elton John — but the fact that so many NHLers, including one of the league’s best and most powerful players, were offering support meant a lot.

Now 21, Prokop still hasn’t taken the NHL ice, but on Wednesday he took a step forward, being recalled by the Predators’ AHL affiliate in Milwaukee. He could become the first openly gay player to appear in an AHL game Friday night for the Admirals in Rockford.

As difficult as the decision to come out was, Prokop told The Athletic in an extended conversation recently that he’s been mentally and physically freed by it. He doesn’t have to hide. He can be himself, on and off the ice. Heck, he can even date.

“It’s been massive,” he said.

Teammates and fans have welcomed him in his journey toward the NHL so far, from Calgary, Edmonton and Seattle of the junior WHL to, most recently, Atlanta of the ECHL. They treated him like he was any other player.

Not that there’s not room to grow. Prokop figured more players would come out after he did. They haven’t, not that he would rush anyone’s decision on that. He’s also been disappointed by the developments over the past few years with the NHL’s inclusion efforts, including the Pride tape “debacle.”

He can only control his own actions, though, and doesn’t regret his decision.

“I’d like to think I’m a realistic person,” Prokop said. “I know hockey is not going to be forever. As much as (when I came out) I would have loved to keep playing, I was OK with not playing any more if it didn’t work out — just being able to live my life the way I wanted, to be myself.

“But now, I don’t want to stop playing. It was definitely nerve-wracking. You never know what the reaction is going to be inside hockey, outside hockey, because no one has done it before. We kind of went out on a limb and hoped for the best. It’s been way more positive than we thought it’d be. You’re going to have some keyboard warriors, which there were a few, but I was expecting more.

“I did not expect the amount of support I got from NHL players. That was really cool.”

- - - - - - -

The Matthews text and Elton John phone call the morning after were memorable, with the gay rock legend welcoming him to the community and offering his email address if Prokop ever needed anything.

Prokop found even more comfort in a moment that came a few days later — the first time he played hockey since his announcement. It was a four-on-four league in Edmonton at Meadows Rec Center, a place where pros and NHLers competed and kept in shape during the offseason.

Prokop was on a team with Colton and Kirby Dach. The other team had Philadelphia Flyers goalie Carter Hart and the Boston Bruins’ Jake DeBrusk. During warmups, Prokop found himself near mid-ice. The first guy to approach him was DeBrusk. The two had met previously through mutual friends. DeBrusk tapped Prokop’s shin pads with his stick.

“Congrats,” he told him. “I’m really happy for you. If you need anything, let me know.”

“I didn’t know what the reaction would be,” Prokop said. “So that meant a lot.”

Prokop was returning that year to the Calgary Hitmen (WHL), the junior team he had played for the previous four seasons. But there had been a lot of turnover on the roster and, of course, a lot had changed for Prokop. So he decided to address the team in its first meeting in training camp.

“Everyone knows what I did last summer,” he told his team. “I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. There might be a lot of media asking you for an interview. If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to do them. If you have any questions for me, come ask me. I’m an open book. I just don’t want you guys to feel uncomfortable.”

In that dressing room, Prokop had heard plenty of the uncomfortable language that’s not uncommon for any locker room. He even admitted using it. He didn’t want to out himself. He wanted to act straight, be “one of the guys.”

“I heard it, but it wasn’t all the time,” he said. “I also took it from the perspective that these guys don’t know any better. It’s hockey language. It’s how guys talk. They don’t mean it in a harmful way. They use the word ‘gay’ as a filler at the end of a sentence to make something stupid. ‘Well, that’s so gay.’ I wasn’t comfortable with it, but I used it myself. I didn’t want to seem like I was out of the mix.

“Some guys texted me (after I came out), ‘F—, sorry if I said anything to offend you when we played.’ I’d just say, ‘Guys, you had no idea.’ The lesson is you don’t know what everyone is going through. The words you say do matter. Make sure you think before you speak. It’s a silly rule you learn in kindergarten. It applies to life when you’re 22 or 35 and never goes away.

“The way hockey is going with the language, guys are naturally changing their language. I’ve heard a change in language on every team I’ve been on.”

Prokop said that season was the best of his career, both from a production standpoint and a personal one. He was traded to the Edmonton Oil Kings early in the season and had 10 goals and 33 points in 55 games for them, helping them win the WHL’s Ed Chynoweth Cup and advance to the Memorial Cup.

Luke Prokop won the WHL’s Ed Chynoweth Cup with the Oil Kings in 2022. (Courtesy of Oilers Entertainment Group)

Luke Pierce, then an assistant coach for Edmonton and now the head coach, said the staff and management had discussions with the leadership group before acquiring Prokop — making sure they were comfortable with it, feeling out whether their room could handle the attention. Pierce said he asked one of the captains, Blues prospect Jake Neighbours, for his perspective. Neighbours had known Prokop since they were 10 or 11, growing up playing in spring tournaments together. He told Pierce and the staff there would be “zero issue” and he’d be a great addition.

Neighbours said nothing really changed, that Prokop “fit right in” to the team. Pierce at first wondered if players would have any issue with rooming assignments on the road, but nobody blinked. Pierce noted that Prokop would joke about situations and even opened up about his boyfriend coming to visit.

“He put everybody at ease,” Pierce said. “I often tell people, if the outside world could see how the group of men interacted, it would be just a tremendous inspiration on how we should treat everybody.”

Pierce and Prokop pointed out how this generation is more comfortable and equipped to handle LGBTQ+ inclusion issues. Everyone seems to know someone, be friends with someone, or be related to someone in the community.

“I just don’t think guys really care anymore,” Prokop said. “They might be nervous as they have this stereotype version of what a gay guy might look like, sound like, act like. Like me, coming to a team, they think I’ll act a certain way, look a certain way, but they’ll realize three minutes into talking to me that I’m not that.

“Hockey is part of me. It’s who I am. Guys totally forget (about me being gay) when I’m at the rink. They’re not afraid to ask questions. But other than that, it never really comes up. That’s how I wanted it to be. I wanted them to know, but we can all go out and play. I never wanted to be a distraction.”

- - - - - - -

The NHL’s decisions around Pride jerseys and stick tape weren’t a distraction, Prokop said, but he has gotten frustrated about it.

He understood the issue over wearing sweaters during warmups — “jerseys weren’t really their choice” — but lamented that the fact the focus was on the handful of players who refused to wear them and not all the others who did. The NHL’s initial banning of Pride stick tape, then its reversal, was a whole other topic.

“To take away choices from players was really confusing,” Prokop said. “Some of them don’t really care. For some, it was near and dear to their heart. To take it away was mind-boggling. From the players’ side, the support was there. Zach Hyman talked about it, Travis Dermott. I like what they did. They didn’t make a big deal about it before — they just did it. Let fans see the rest, and it’ll take care of itself. There’s a massive amount of support from players in the NHL.”

What do the Pride tape and sweaters mean for someone in the LGBTQ+ community?

Prokop didn’t recall noticing them growing up going to Oilers games. He never got to see someone who was gay using Pride tape on the TV screen. He had to deal with it himself — “jump over those barriers without any help.” But Prokop continued pursuing his hockey career whereas “a lot of people don’t feel comfortable pursuing their career without that exposure, without feeling like they’re being seen.”

“I think with the Pride tape stuff, they were trying to show support for their older fans,” Prokop said of the NHL. “The fans that have been watching hockey for 40-50 years. That’s not how you grow the game. You want to get the younger generation, put these guys in the best situation to promote the game. Sometimes I don’t think the NHL does that the correct way. The Pride tape is one example.”

Prokop has been part of two Pride nights since he came out, one with the Edmonton Oil Kings and another with Seattle. The Oil Kings staff approached him after not having that event on their promotional calendar. They planned it in two weeks and it was a big hit, with around 8,000 fans in attendance.

“Some guys told me it was the most impactful game they’d been in during their career,” Prokop said. “They said they didn’t realize how many Queer fans they had. I don’t think they realize how much my community watches hockey, plays hockey and cares about hockey.

The Seattle Pride night was fan-driven, which made it unique. Thunderbirds fans noticed that other rival teams had a special night for Pride and made a push for their own, making bracelets and T-shirts. Prokop told teammates they didn’t have to wear the stick tape — he knows how superstitious hockey players are. They all wore some, for him.

“I always look at the perspective, the other side of Pride nights — why do you have them if no one on the team is gay?” Prokop said. “The point is that it’s for the fans. For me, it means a lot to play in them to show my community and be a representative on the ice.”

While education is important, Prokop said any real change in the NHL when it comes to inclusion will start with other players coming out. He’s not putting any timeline or pressure on that. He didn’t have one. But that’s when players in the league will see a different perspective, get more comfortable with it.

“Otherwise, it’s always going to be a story,” Prokop said. “I also can see why guys don’t want to come out. Especially in the NHL. They’ve been very successful, so why change? I kind of saw that from the perspective when the whole Pride jersey story came out. My phone was blowing up. I don’t think guys want to have to deal with that. There was a responsibility for me to talk about these topics. I don’t think guys want to do that. I can see it from that side, why they don’t want to come out.

“I don’t think anything is going to change unless someone else does. Someone else will step up. It’s only a matter of time. I thought there’d maybe be two, three of us by now. But it hasn’t happened. But I know there’s going to be someone else soon. It’s math. There’s what, 700 players in the league? There’s definitely a few more.”

- - - - - - -

While there have been some derogatory comments coming from the stands on a few occasions, Prokop has been encouraged there have been none from opposing players.

“Zero,” he said.

Most of the feedback he’s received, even on social media, has been positive. And it’s not just the comments like Matthews’ that stick with him. Two high schoolers in Seattle, Kaitlin and Jo, reached out to him over Instagram. They are part of the LGBTQ+ community and were struggling.

“Like everyone, they just wanted someone to talk to,” Prokop said.

Part of Prokop’s pregame routine is usually to hang by the bench and listen to music. On many occasions, Kaitlin and Jo would come by and the three of them would just chat for 10, 12 minutes. They’re the fans that Prokop saw every game above the tunnel on his way to the dressing room. They’ve stayed in touch. Prokop even did a Zoom meeting with their high school class last month. “They have a special place in my heart,” he said.

When, and if, Prokop makes his NHL debut, he says he’ll have a special secret plan for them.

Whether Prokop lives his NHL dream remains to be seen. He’s praised the Predators for their support from the first time he did a group video call with the staff. Former NHLer Mark Borowiecki, now a development coach, has been someone Prokop has leaned on often, not only for on-ice advice but for help getting through things mentally.

Scott Nichol, the Predators’ assistant GM, likes Prokop’s potential.

“Big right-shot defensemen that can skate, move the puck. They don’t grow on trees,” he said. “He just needs to polish up his game in some areas in the defensive zone. He’s got the tools. He’s got the skating ability. It’s just patience and embrace the process.”

Prokop is grateful for his support group, from his parents, Al and Nicole, to his brother, Josh, and sister, Alanna. He’s kept in touch with Heather Lefebvre, who is a specialist in hockey engagement and alumni relations with the Oilers Entertainment Group. They talk almost every day. What sticks out to Lefebvre is how young Prokop was when he came out (19), and while he wears this “trailblazer” cap, he’s still standing alone.

“I think this generation is more ready for it than past generations, for sure,” Lefebvre said. “It says a lot to me that nobody else has come out in the year and a half since he has. He’s the only openly gay player under NHL contract, but he’s not the only gay player under NHL contract.

“That’s where I think we have work to do. Is it great that he’s been accepted and can do his thing? Yes. But he looks at the positives, which makes me really happy for him. But that doesn’t mean there’s no negative.”

Prokop takes the positives in his off-ice life, too. He lives with Alanna in the offseason back home in Edmonton. He’s found teammates to share in his hobbies, like golf (he plays 40 to 50 rounds a year). He loves to read, from biographies to sci-fi. He watches basketball more than hockey and has more than 25 jerseys. He cooks. He got into puzzles during the pandemic and is bullish about doing them on his own.

Prokop also feels comfortable getting out there on the dating scene and not having to hide it from teammates.

“Obviously, the lifestyle of a hockey player is tough for some people,” he said. “I’m trying to find the right person to connect with. I’m a softie, a romantic guy. I love love. I’m always on the lookout for that right person to spend the rest of my life with.”

Prokop doesn’t see the label of being the first openly gay player under NHL contract as a weight. It’s more of a responsibility. He has a platform and wants to use it. He’s realistic, “dreaming about winning the community service award more than the Norris Trophy.”

Making the AHL jump or someday the NHL jump won’t define him.

“One of my main goals when I came out is that if I could have an impact on one person outside of my family and friends in my lifetime, I’ve done my job,” he said. “I think I’ve done that and more. And I want to continue to do that.”

[holybibly]

Object of Desire | OT8 | Preview

Pairing: otx8 x reader

Genre: sugar daddy au, dark romance, smut, vampire au,

Word Count: ....

Summary: Caught in a web of deceit and forbidden pleasures, Nabi quickly learns that some obsessions can be deadly and love can bite.

WARNING: only!18+ Blood drinking, blood kink, obsessive behavior, voice kink, daddy kink, master/pet game, pet names, explicit sexual content, explicit language, emotional manipulation, possessive behavior, seduction, BDSM, polyamory, mirror sex, marking, voyeurism, power play, and more.

Disclaimer: I do not support themes of violence, obsession, possessiveness, or emotional or psychological manipulation. This book is intended for entertainment purposes only.

A/N: Another vampire ot8 that no one asked for. Someday I will learn to stop being seduced by random ideas.

Feedback is greatly appreciated!

Part 1. Do you want to make a deal with the Devil?

Now going out of town in the middle of the night with Yeonjun seemed like a bad idea.

A very bad one, I thought.

God, what was I thinking when I agreed to do this? Yesterday, this whole venture seemed like a great way to solve my problems, but now the prospect was not so rosy.

Sometimes I feel like a complete idiot, and this is one of those times.

Outside the window the dark landscape was sweeping by at high speed; the bare trees were shrouded in an ominous gloom, and only the dim light of the tall street lamps over the road was the only source of illumination to guide us in the darkness.

It seemed that the darkness around us did not stop Yeonjun from driving. His posture was relaxed and his hand was sure as he turned the wheel in the right direction, the diamond bracelet on his thin wrist sparkling with starlight. One of the many family jewels that Yeonjun treated with special affection.

In contrast to him, I couldn't relax and kept fidgeting on the leather seat made of black Iberian leather, no less.

Every part of my body was begging me to stop and come home before it was too late.  Not so, I had imagined that we were going to an elite club. I knew that we would be there late at night, but the fact that the club was way out of town came as an unpleasant surprise.

At the moment it's an hour's drive from Seoul and more than an hour and a half to the destination on the GPS.

The whole thing was strange and made me dizzy, or was it the thick smell of Yeonjun's perfume? It was a dense, smoky scent with a hint of vanilla. Powerful enough to draw the eyes of everyone around to its source, and sexy enough to make you want to kiss the naked skin of the wearer of this tantalising scent.

It would be several days before I was able to wash off the remnants of his perfume after our meeting, so much of it had eaten its way into my skin.

I glanced at Yeonjun; a stray yellowish-white light from the lantern momentarily illuminated his face, and a shadow of long velvet eyelashes fell on his pale cheeks. His black raven hair was streaked with flashes of platinum and gold. He looked otherworldly - I would even say demonic.

I felt a palpable shiver run through my body, as if someone had just dipped my heart into a bucket of icy water.

"Jun." My voice was terribly uncertain. "I don't think I can do this." I said as my fingers pulled down the hem of a short dress. The expensive material looked luxurious in a perfect shade of white and was decorated with a sprinkling of crystals. Yeonjun insisted that I wear it tonight and said that I would be grateful for it as soon as we got to the club. I don't think I'd ever choose something like that for myself, and not just because of its crazy cost; Jun's fashion preferences were so different from mine. He was a fan of overt sexuality and bold lines; I, on the other hand, preferred neutrals and comfort. "I have changed my mind; this proposal does not suit me at all. Maybe we can go back..."

Yeonjun smiled softly as he turned to me, but in the darkness of the drawing room the smile was more ominous than reassuring, his lips the most breathtaking shade of red I had ever seen.

Warning bells began to ring in my head. There are times when you can sense danger even before you are faced with it.

"Nabi, my dear, there is nothing for you to be worried about. We have already discussed this. Remember?" His hand was cold as he laid it on my knee. "I will take care of everything. You're my guest tonight, which means you're under my protection." The long fingers shrank a little, a kind of confirmation of his words. His fingernails were painted glossy black, and his fingers were adorned with several silver rings.

I would like to believe that nothing is going to happen to me, but my insides are tied up in a tight knot of fear.

Miss Kim Seoyun's words echoed in my head like thunder: "Humble yourself and surrender to destiny; you are where you are supposed to be.

When did I start believing all this? This is no time to panic, Nabi.

Everything will be fine.

To be honest, Yeonjun was never my first choice when I needed help, and I always tried to keep a certain distance from him for a number of reasons. There was something so predatory about him, almost animalistic, that lit up the red lights of danger, but I was desperate; student loans, rent, insurance and food were starting to pile up. I was in desperate need of money, and preferably a lot of it, fast.

The threat of being left out on the streets and being thrown out of university has never been as real as it is now.

The only thing that gave me the slightest bit of confidence was Jimin's assurance that I could trust Yeonjun completely and how carefree he was.

Damn, Jun looked like we were going on a spontaneous romantic trip instead of a closed elite club outside the city in the middle of the night.

I asked myself again, "Why did I agree to this?" Oh yes, money. A lot of money.

A few days ago, Yeonjun contacted me and offered to help me with my money problem. Of course, Park Jimin couldn't keep his big mouth shut and told him about my problems. He told me that one of his friends at the private club had a good deal for me. I could make a lot of money out of it.

The income was enough to pay off all my debts and the number of zeros on offer was enough to turn my head.

It was an unequivocal and desperate "YES" and at that moment I did not think at all about the consequences or the characteristics of this proposal.

Jun also promised me a lot of fun but after I signed the NDA and read the multi-page contract with its veiled meaning and rather vague wording of some specific points, doubts blossomed in my chest, and I began to understand what kind of fun was being discussed.

Looks like I made a deal with the Devil.

The dress was delivered on the eve of our trip, a few hours before Yeonjun's chic Ferrari pulled up outside my dorm room. The all-white gown, richly embroidered with blue topaz and opal, was incredible. The plunging neckline of the corsage barely covered the lace bralet of the same colour as the dress.

I have never seen my breasts look so full and so soft. I would even call it seductive. Everything I moved had to be clean and graceful; if I moved too sharply, the soft pink halos of my nipples would start to show. This was beyond the limits of my modesty. At one point, I could even feel Yeonjun's searing gaze resting on my cleavage. It was a carnal look with a shadow of hidden lust in the depths of the dark, shining pupils. It was the first time in the several years of our dubiously friendly communication that he had shown such a desire for me.

The dress and underwear came with four-inch heels. Of course, if my life had been in danger and I had tried to escape, there would have been no chance of success. Incidentally, I'm a terrible runner; I bet I couldn't have run more than ten meters before I collapsed with breathlessness. I should have gone to the gym when Jimin offered it to me.

Oh my God, Nabi, what the hell have you gotten yourself into?

Jun's silky voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

"You have such a tense look on your face, my darling." He purred. "We'll be there soon, Nabi. Try to relax; you're going to love "Crescent", I'm sure."

Why did it have such a sinister ring to it? "Crescent" - the name was sweet enough, I would say poetic, but the way Yeonjun rolled the word over his tongue as if he could feel its taste - thick and viscous - made the name something forbidden and sinful. Well, the idea of the cult was not so absurd to me. And that stupid prophecy never left my mind.

"You're where you should be..."

In the reflection of the small mirror in the car, I met my gaze. My pupils were dilated like those of a hunted prey. And though I tried to calm down, I could feel the cold, predatory touch of Youngjoon's hand all too well. Baby, it looks like you're going to get caught.

I ask myself again. Why did I find myself in this situation?

Dressed in the most luxurious designer clothes, like a real doll. Ready to become an exclusive blood donor for a very wealthy private community whose clients needed this kind of service, accompanied by one of Seoul's wealthiest heirs.

Now I can say: "Hey, Nabi, you really screwed up."

To be continued…

[quotergirl19]

“When I was a girl, some centuries ago, I was afraid even of my own reflection. I entered a room and attempted to dissolve into the shadows. But there is only so long one in a position such as ours can hide. I knew I would have to step in to the light someday, and I could not very well be frightened. So, instead, I made myself frightening. I sharpened my wit, my wardrobe and my eye, and I made myself the most terrifying creature in any room I entered.” - Lady Agatha Danbury to a young, frightened, Simon Basset

I am SO looking forward to seeing friendship form between Lady Danbury and Penelope Featherington. I genuinely believe she will understand Penelope on so many levels. I think she will see herself in Penelope and be reminded of her love affair with Lord Ledger when she sees the friendship between Penelope and Colin. Lady Danbury will want Penelope to be able to step out of the shadows and into the light where she can claim the life she wants with a true partner as her husband.

The relationship Agatha had with Lord Ledger was simple. He was the great love of Lady Danbury’s life because they understood each other. He was her most special friend, but he also understood society and that they could not be obvious or possibly have anything more than those few afternoon walks and that one passionate encounter with each other.

Lord Ledger was a lonely man whose greatest love was his daughter Violet because he did not have a love match with his wife. His marriage was tolerable but lacking. It’s beautiful but sad that Lord Ledger and Lady Danbury could not be together and had to hide their deep connection, friendship and love.

Honestly, I see so much of the Queen and Lady Danbury’s friendship in Eloise and Penelope.

The Queen & Eloise are both rare and unique examples of entitled young ladies. Both of their father’s had untimely deaths and they were under the control of older brothers. Both are highly educated, headstrong and impulsive. Both follow their hearts even when people with a better understanding of the side of society that they have not experienced. Agatha & Penelope are their closest friends but their warnings often go unheard but it does not stop their friends from trying to warn them to be cautious for the sake of themselves and others like them.

Lady Danbury has a secret ladies club with the married women of the ton. She has worked hard to be a leader in society. She is sharp, intelligent, witty, clever, fashionable and the sort of woman people fear and respect much like Penelope’s alter ego Lady Whistledown. Neither woman is the sort to be trifled with. But they are also kind hearted and loyal by nature but have been placed in situations where their loyalty was tested. They care deeply about their friends and try to guide them towards whatever they genuinely believe is in their best interests.

The question is, will the rift between Eloise and Penelope be mirrored by a similar break in the long standing friendship between Agatha and Charlotte? Will Agatha protect Penelope’s identity from the Queen to give Penelope and Colin a chance to have a loving and happy marriage away from the scrutiny of the ton? And if so, will the Queen find out anyway and distance herself from one of her oldest friends for keeping the secret, only to ultimately agree to give Polin a fair chance at a future by supporting them publicly and offering Lady Whistledown the crown’s protection?

[fuck-you-upmusicbracket]

Against The Kitchen Floor (Will Wood)

And I swear! I will die trying!/I'm still in the process, but I'm making progress; I promise I honestly wanna prove improvement's possible, I swear!/I'm so fucking sorry! I'm not a good person, I'm barely a person at all, But someday I'll be perfect, and I'll make up for it all!

Less rare than scarce, less diamond then rough/Unlikely to be more than just the coal you failed to crush

I'm catatonic in your arms, crying, "How did I cause so much harm?"/I'm down pounding my head against the kitchen floor/Apologizing for my life and ever entering yours

The vertex of my redemption arc/I’m searching on that virgin heart

"The raw emotion! And I strongly relate to desperately wanting to improve for someone you love. I belt out this song when I feel really hopeless"

"my one OC. also me. also it's just a really good song. one of will's best imo. screaminbg"

"Literally hits almost all of my self-esteem issues. Feeling like people only care about you for your body? Check. Not understanding why anyone would want you? Check. Thinking that all you do is hurt people? Check. I don't cry very often but this song DEFINITELY made me teary"

"one of those if u aren’t paying attention to the lyrics ur like this is nice but once u hear them its an OW holy OW and guilt and I’m sorry feelings"

"Just. Loving someone but not feeling like you’re good enough and trying to improve."

"Not only does this song have lyrics that are deeply relatable to me, but this song also feels very deeply personal to the artist and I feel that anyone who listens to it for the first time has that same feeling of getting punched in the gut. Just the lyrics and the melody and Will Wood’s incredible vocals make this song an absolute masterpiece and I cry every time I hear it."

"One reason I'm attached to this song is because my friend sent it to me and said "I'm kin assigning you this song" and ruined my life (/j) It messed me up because I've always had a hard time in my life figuring myself out and dealing with my emotions, and for what feels like the first time, this song has been able to near perfectly describe how I feel about myself and my impact on other people, and it always just meant so much to me that my friend who sent it to me knows me better than I know myself and shared the song with me and I love them dearly."

Curses (Crane Wives)

Ashes, ashes, dust to dust/Tell me I am good enough/Lay my curses out to rest/

All my aching bones are trembling/And I may yet fall apart/Won't you stay with me, my darling/When the war starts in my heart?

Every word I say is kindling/But the smoke clears when you're around/Won't you stay with me, my darling/When my walls start burning down, down, down?

"The singer is falling apart but they'll still jam about it. They're trying so hard to get better, they're failing, and they need support even when recovery feels hopeless. It's a concept I haven't seen explored in a song before. Lots of songs are about someone relying on their partner for emotional support but none explore the darker side of the difficulty of carrying someone else's burdens. Also the clarinet fucks."

"One, is starts out with a jazzy clarinet. The instrumentals of the song is very dance-y. I love the destructive tone of the lyrics, the singer thinking they ruin everything and they're not worthy of love, but still begging You to stay"

"It’s asking for help when you’re at your lowest. It’s the emotion behind the words— it’s one of those songs where the singer puts weight and emphasis on certain lines. Makes the heart go ouughghhghghh. It’s the “duo who’s known each other for a long time and are driving out post-big time conflict” or “emotional climax where there’s no words, only action” scene type of song imo. Also there’s a mad clarinet solo and it’s really good"

Against the Kitchen Floor submitted by @pixopolis + others

Curses submitted by @dreadful-windandrain + others

[carawenfiction]

Will we have an update soon?

Tumblr won't let me make normal posts for some reason, so the update will have to be in form of an answer to this ask smh. Anyway:

Hey everyone!

This post is long overdue, I know. I’m really sorry to those who have been worried about my wellbeing, as well as those who have been waiting around for an update for so long.

I’ve put off writing here because this “update” is something I’ve been wrestling with for a long time. But I can’t keep going back and forth on it forever, which is why I’m now letting you all know that the Shadow Society is officially discontinued.

I know that this might not come as much of a surprise to anyone at this point. I’ve tried to salvage the story by remaking it into something I’m happy with through a rewrite. But I’ve rewritten the rewrite itself more than once, and no matter what I do, I’m just not happy with the result. Rewriting something that’s already published with all the coding it involves is a lot more tricky than I initially thought it would be.

This is not a case of me being needlessly harsh on myself, however; it’s simply a truth I’ve come to realize after struggling to find a way to keep going with the story. I’ll never be fully content with it, or even content enough, unless I’d be able to completely remake and rewrite everything from scratch – and consequentially, I will never find enough motivation to continue because of how unhappy I am with it.

I’ve seen some speculation about my reason for rewriting the story and my long absence, and that they’ve had to do with comparisons to other IFs (well, you know which one). This isn’t entirely the case. While the comparisons did happen and probably still do, and while they were discouraging in the beginning, I can definitely understand where people have been coming from when making them. I talked about this more in-depth in the forums right after the release of TSS.

The main reason for why I can’t continue is that it’s not a series I feel passionate enough about to work on. My tastes have changed, and so has my writing to some degree. I’ve tried to convince myself that I am passionate about it. It’s hard to admit that you’re not when it’s been in your head for so long, when you’ve tried for so long to make this work and when you know that one part is published and that some people are anticipating a continuation. But it had to be done sooner or later.

Other reasons:

-While I don’t think that my writing style has changed drastically, I feel like it is somewhat different from how I wrote back in 2018 (which is a GOOD thing). Whenever I tried working on the rewrite or second book and attempted to emulate the writing of TSS, it just didn’t sound right anymore, and that took a lot of fun out of it.

-With everything that has happened with CoG over the past few years, they are no longer a company I want to write for.

Please know that none of this has discouraged me from writing in general. I still love doing it. If anything, this has taught me a lot about what I actually want to write and the writing process in general. Whether I end up publishing anything else in the future or will simply do so for my own enjoyment we’ll just have to see, though.

I still have the idea of a shadow-like world in my head, and maybe it’s one I will revisit at some point. Maybe there will be another version of TSS someday, albeit very different from the original one.

But for now, I can only thank you all for the overwhelming love and support over the years, and apologize for any disappointment this has caused. If people are interested, I’d be happy to share parts of the rewrite and unused ideas. The Tumblr page will still stay up at least for some time, but I will probably not be answering any asks from here on out.

EDIT: Forgot to add, but if anyone wants a genuinely amazing IF read you should check out my friend's wip here: https://uroboros-if.tumblr.com/ ❤️ Play the demo here: https://mistyriousness.itch.io/uroboros

[archiveikemen]

『 Zero Distance 』 Story Event: Premium END

Liam Evans

This is a fan-made translation solely for entertainment purposes with no guaranteed perfection. I do not own any of the original content. Please support CYBIRD by buying their stories and playing their games. Reblogs appreciated.

❥･• Warnings and FAQ

Liam: There’s something I’ve been keeping from you.

(Huh?)

Kate: … Something you’ve been keeping from me?

Liam: The time lock on the handcuffs—

Liam: I can’t see it.

Kate: … You can’t… see it?

(Liam can’t see it, only I can. Oh…!)

– Flashback Start –

Alfons: Let’s see…

Alfons: Goodness! These handcuffs have some numbers on them. Look.

– Flashback End –

I realised that I did feel Alfons briefly touch the nape of my neck when our shoulders were unnaturally close.

Kate: Alfons used his ability on me, didn’t he?

To prove my point, the small clock on the handcuffs completely vanished.

Kate: Why on earth would he give me this illusion…?

Liam: Only Al knows what Al is thinking… but I guess he just wanted you to have fun?

Liam: You’ll be less anxious about the handcuffs, knowing that “they’ll be unlocked someday”

Liam: And you can enjoy yourself to the fullest with that in mind.

Alfons’ inexplicable and irresponsible words and actions were very typical of him, I couldn't help but laugh.

Liam: But I’m equally at fault. I knew about the illusion all along, and yet I didn't tell you.

Liam: I thought that this was a rare chance to be tied to you.

Liam: … I’m sorry for keeping this from you.

Kate: Please don’t apologise. I wanted to be with you too.

Liam smiled while frowning and gently cupped my cheek with his free hand not bound by the handcuffs.

Liam: Hey, Kate. You get to decide what happens after this, okay?

Liam: Do you want to stay cuffed together for a little longer, or do you want me to ask Al to unlock this?

Kate: Me?

Liam: Yeah, … I might not be able to be gentle anymore if you choose to stay cuffed, though.

Kate: ?

Liam: When you told me that you noticed something, I noticed it too.

Liam: You're just so likeable, Kate. Way too many people grow fond of you.

Kate: T-That’s not true!

Liam: Fufu… so you’re unaware of it yourself.

Liam: But I did, that’s why I made love to you all morning and satisfied you so that I won't be jealous.

Liam: And yet…

Liam tilted his head and gave me a bewitching smile.

Liam: I knew it, this won’t do. I’m super jealous.

Liam: And because I’m closer to you than usual, I find myself endlessly wanting you more and more…

Kate: Liam…

Liam: But I won’t do anything that you don't want or makes you unhappy.

Liam: So, what do you choose?

(... Do I want to stay cuffed together, or do I want to remove this?)

His rose-coloured eyes peering into my heart ignited a flame in my desires.

(I…)

Kate: … Please don’t think that you’re the only one getting jealous.

Liam: Huh?

Kate: I was pretending to be strong just now, but… I was really jealous too.

(That’s why…)

Kate: Please let me be tied to you a little bit longer…

Liam: Kate, you’re seriously…

Liam: … Amazing at making me want to be selfish.

Liam: Shall we… do lots of things to satisfy each other's jealousy?

…

We returned to Crown’s castle with our hands still cuffed together, and Liam led me straight to the bathroom.

Liam: We each only have one free hand… so let’s wash each other.

I felt dizzy from being left with only our shirts on and surrounded by the sweet vanilla smell coming from Liam.

Liam grinned mischievously, sitting on the edge of the bathtub.

Liam: You have such an eager look on your face, Kate… shall we take all our clothes off?

Kate: Yes…

After removing our clothes with some difficulty, Liam lathered up the soap with one hand.

Kate: Ah, I’ll do it.

Liam: Ahaha, too slow. The quickest hand wins.

Kate: Ahh…

Liam put his hand on my body and slid it all over.

My body responded to the sweet feeling of pleasure the moment his hand touched my breast.

Liam: You really love it when I touch you here, don't you? I usually use both of my hands to play with them, so… is this not enough to satisfy you yet?

Kate: Nn, ahh… yes…

Liam: Really? Okay then, try to recall…

Liam: I’d always grab your breasts with both hands, and… what's next?

Liam looked at me while fondling my breast with one hand.

I couldn't help getting excited every time the ever so gentle Liam started getting mean.

Liam: Tell me, Kate…

Kate: … You’d usually… hold them with both hands…

Liam: … Mm-hmm, and?

Kate: Your fingers…

Liam: Like this?

Kate: Ahh, nnn….

Liam pinched one of my nipples between his fingertips and toyed with it.

The foam made his fingers more slippery than usual, causing me to get wet faster.

Liam: Ah, that’s right. I always pinch your nipples with both hands, right?

Liam: But since I can’t do that today…

Kate: ahhh… Liam…

Liam took one of my nipples covered in foam into his mouth and sucked on it hard.

Liam: … Fufu, it’s bitter. I licked some of the soap. But shall we continue?

Kate: … Mm

Liam: Hey, Kate. Will you also feel this way if someone else does this to you?

Kate: So that’s why…

Liam: I don't know, you seem to love pleasurable things.

The eyes looking up at me were wet as he licked my breasts, peering into the innermost depths of my heart.

Even though we were already sitting so close to each other, I found it endearing that we still wanted each other to express our feelings through words.

Kate: You know the answer. I want to do these things only because it’s you, Liam.

Kate: … I don’t want this with anyone else. I like you, Liam. You’re special to me.

Liam: …

As if expressing his desires, Liam sucked hard on my nipple—

Kate: Ahh… nnn…

And with his one hand that wasn’t cuffed to mine, he pulled me into a tight hug.

Liam: … I think I’ve become an even bigger fool ever since I fell in love with you.

Liam: … I got jealous of the silliest of things, and used underhanded tactics to tie you down.

Liam: But…

Kate: But?

Liam: I’m fine with being a fool prancing around on a stage called “you”. I… I want to be stuck with you forever.

Kate: … Me too. I want to always stick with you and be in love with you.

We got out of the bath and with our soaking wet hair, we kissed over and over again on the bed.

Whenever we changed positions, the handcuffs made a metallic sound.

And then—

(Huh…?)

Click. The handcuffs unlocked and fell off.

(How…)

Liam: Al made a key out of wire and left it on the table.

Kate: I see…

Liam: Don’t worry, Kate. I won’t let you go so easily…

With a seductive smile, Liam stood up and walked to his closet.

He took something out and tossed it onto the bed.

(... A necktie?)

(Is he…)

Liam: Mm-hmm. It’s exactly what you're imagining right now.

Liam wore an ecstatic look as he held the necktie in his hand.

Liam: I’ll restrain you by tying up your hands and legs, leaving you with no way to escape… can I do something that feels good?

Liam: Let me mess you up…

Liam gave me another delighted smile when he saw me swallow at the thought of what he was about to do to me—.

[palmtreesx3]

As my header states, I'm too old for this. But here I am anyway. If you're here you're gonna watch me embarrassingly lust over every version of Steve Harrington (who am I kidding, just Joe Keery in general) and while I mostly just react to other people's tremendously talented work, I occasionally dabble myself.

So if you are lurking, enjoy and leave some kisses 💋

(18+, don't be cunty, yada yada yada)

🔥 Spicy/Smutty 🚨 Cannon/Cannon Adjacent ❤️ Fluffy/Boyfriend-ism 😩 Angsty

Get Off (Series) 🔥18+ - SexShop!Steve x Reader : SexShop!Robin x OC (7/9)

Summary: Steve and Robin have about had it with Hawkins, so on Robin's 25th birthday, the pair decides that there's nothing holding them there anymore and they start packing their bags. The friends move to Chicago and quickly find an apartment to call their own. As luck would have it, within hours of arriving to the city, Robin stumbles on a no-strings-attached job offer for both of them - what could be better?! Now just to break the news to Steve…. This multi part story will both explore their platonic relationship and their chaotic experience working at the sex shop together as well as their own paths of self discovery as they plant their roots in their new city and finally deal with the invisible baggage they drug along with them when they moved. Act 4 - Out Now :)

Prologue || V-Card || Act 1 || Act 2 || Act 3 || Act 4 || Act 5 || Act 6 || Epilogue

------------------

King of Wishful Thinking (Series) ❤️ Fluffy but eventually 🔥 18+ and marked as such because I'm a hoe - Steve Harrington x Reader (2/?)

Summary: Steve has been in love with you for his entire life. He has always wanted to express his feelings and do nice things for you, but every time he tries to come up with new and creative ways to show you how much he cares, but it seems like fate is always against him. Even though he shallowly convinces himself that you’re just meant to be friends and despite these setbacks, Steve remains determined to keep trying. He still holds onto the hope that someday he'll be able to express his feelings to you and maybe, just maybe have them reciprocated. Paused but not forgotten

1974 || 1978 || 1980 (coming soon)

Joe Keery Photo Drop Support Group A place to gather when he sends us into a tizzy. This support group was started in response to the Behind the Blinds Photo Drops but can and will be revisited anytime this man rocks our world like that again....All are welcome. Judgement Free-zone. Cake ALWAYS served.

Birthday Cake Train 🍰 A communal space to celebrate birthdays and serve up a slice of Cake....you know which kind. Join the thread when it's your turn. There's enough to go around.

Seeing Stars 🔥18+ The crew finally decides it's time to start celebrating the 4th of July again, but Steve Harrington finds he can't stop himself from staring.

A Girl Like You (PT 2 to Seeing Stars) 🔥18+ In the aftermath of the 4th, embarrassment and emotions are flying, tables turn and shit gets figured out. Read Part 1 to see how exactly we got here.

Deeper for You 🔥18+ It's your annual beach trip with the crew from Hawkins, something you've all been doing together your whole adult life after life forced everyone to part ways. You're all close, but this year, an accidental encounter in the outdoor shower makes you get a little closer with one person in particular.

Jealous Friend One Shot 🔥18+ ask Watching your friend, Steve Harrington, go on Kamakazi Mission dates over and over again was getting kind of old. You’re always there to listen, comfort and pick up the pieces but what if this time it’s just too much? What if this time you’ve had enough and something that feels a little bit like jealousy rears its ugly head?

Firefighter!Steve One Shot

Taking Care of Steve (Road Head) Blurb 🔥18+ ask

Vampy Steve Blurb ask

Fool in Love Blurb (King of Wishful Thinking inspo) ❤️

Stevie Takes Care of You When You're Sick Blurb ❤️ ask

Joe Keery as Steve Harrington Micro expressions

Steve Harrington Smells Like head cannons

Cozy Cardigan Steve (Joe Keery Dork Mag inspo) ❤️

Ok maybe I'm being overdramatic, but please also consider reading these fics or series I feel like I'd lay down my life for because they have become a visceral part of me and changed the fabric of my being and I think about them all the time. They are all *chefs kiss* and written by amazingly talented people who also have deep Masterlists that also deliver. So wake the fuck up and read em! Again, most (okay fine, all) are 🔥 18+ ...again, because I'm a hoe

Into Open Flames 🔥😩🚨 on AO3

Midnight City 🔥 by @superblysubpar

We'll Call it Love 🔥😩 by @superblysubpar

If Tomorrow Never Comes 🔥😩🚨 by @sweetsweetjellybean

All I Really Want is You ❤️🔥 by @loveshotzz

Whatta Man (Steve's Night) 🔥 by @loveshotzz

New Years Eve (Steve & Eddie)🔥😩 by @loveshotzz

Beyond 🔥 by @abibliophobiaa

We Tried the World 🔥😩 @upsidedownwithsteve

And I Snuck in Through the Garden Gate ❤️🔥 @upsidedownwithsteve

Don't Call Me Baby 🔥😩 by @katyswrites

Aftermath (Steve & Eddie)🔥😩🚨 by @sweetsweetjellybean

Daisy 🔥 by @thyme-in-a-bubble

PSA: Don't steal my shit. Don't repost my shit. Don't steal other peoples shit. Don't use AI. Don't feed my shit into AI. Don't feed other people's shit into AI. Just come here, read about this sweet piece of a man and live on our fantasy island together in lust and in peace.

[starboybutler]

Lights up (Ch.2)

summary: gale goes on a coffee date with that sophomore boy.

word count: 4504

warnings: mentions of past abuse, alcoholism, kind of harassment from john, blowjobs (again)

notes: chapter two is here! kinda surprised with myself that i got it done so fast. dunno if i'll always be able to get a new chapter this quickly but i'll try! enjoy the chapter!

chaapter one | ao3 link

for as long as gale could remember, he was by his lonesome. at home, in class, in nature. he always found comfort in solitude– the way the silence would give him time to think about everything he had going on at the time. whether it was after a particularly hard day at school, or after his dad had yelled at him and called him words he would try not to repeat in his head. 

he grew up on a farm in wyoming, vast and beautiful. they had plenty of animals as he grew up– horses, cows, chickens, goats– and gale would spend countless hours caring for them like they were human children. he remembered him momma telling him when he was younger to not get too attached to them, but he would never listen. he named, groomed, fed, and loved every animal that he could before his father inevitably sold or killed them. 

it was like therapy for him. when it came to people, he was no good at communicating or getting along with them. he found making friends difficult compared to animals. people were complicated. they did things with no rhyme or reason and were needlessly cruel to fuel their own need to feel superior to others.gale was bullied- not too harshly, thankfully- but enough that he would sometimes tell his mom that he didn’t want to go to school that day. his mom, angel that she is, would let him stay at home, with the animals he loved so dearly.

his father was a brash man, to put it politely. he drank heavily and gambled more. ever since he was old enough to walk on his own, gale remembered seeing his dad stumble in through their front door, alcohol permeating the air around him as he exhaled heavily, angry at all the money he lost that night. his angry eyes would land on gale, burning holes into the boy as he clutched an empty beer bottle in his large fist, gritting his teeth and spitting out an intelligible swear. 

sometimes he'd go to bed. other times, gale wouldn't be so lucky.

he would constantly belittle and chastise gale for hiding in his room at home instead off telling the kids who were teasing him off- but gale wasn’t that type of person. he always avoided conflict, out of a deep-rooted fear of becoming like his father someday.

as he got older, gale discovered certain things about himself that his father didn't particularly like. he began isolating gale– becoming harsher and more physical than before towards him whenever he would try to be himself. his poor mother did her best to support him, but she could only do so much. one night after gale’s father had beaten him down both physically and emotionally– she had come into his room and begged him to try and be who his father wanted him to- at least until he could move away for college. 

his heart clenched that his own mother begged him for such a thing, but he knew it was the safest option. he didn't know if he could take many more beatings before his father decided to do something drastic.

he did what his mother said- became quiet and docile until his father was satisfied with what he saw. 

gale never really let go of the act. he kept quiet and timid– hiding himself- and he never really knew why. maybe it was out of a lingering fear that he would turn a corner and see his father standing there, just waiting to lay his hands on him. 

he sat in his math class, anxiously tap-tap-tapping his pen against the edge of the desk as the professor went over everything they spoke about for the day. he was filled with a nervous energy- and the fact that he could feel the reason for his nerves staring at the back of his head wasn't helping.

just why gale had agreed to go out to lunch with this random man in his class was beyond him– maybe it was because he reminded him of someone–, but there was no backing down now. it's not like he didn't want to– he was a handsome guy and all, but he would have liked to at least talk a bit more first. he knew nothing about him– other than his name. gale tried to soothe himself by saying they'd get to learn more about one another at their lunch ‘date’, but it didn't help much. 

class was dismissed and gale began to pack up, biting at his bottom lip. he felt on edge, like any little thing could send him running out that door.

“heya, gale,”

a large hand on his shoulder, calloused thumb brushing against his sensitive neck ever so gently– like a faint breeze. he jumped, instinctively backing away from the foreign touch clumsily- almost tripping over his own feet.

there stood john, the hand that was just touching gale’s shoulder held up in mock surrender as he looked at the blonde with wide eyes.

“whoa there, should i have given ya more of a warning?” he jokes, stepping forward to close the gap gale had put between them. “didn't know you were so easily startled.”

gale laughed uneasily, taking another micro-step backwards to put just a bit more space between the two of them. did he always have to be so close? “i’m not. just…i dunno. nervous.”

“aw, nervous for our date, gale?” he laughed, slinging an arm around his shoulder, leaning into him with his body weight and almost making gale stumble over with the suddenness of it. “that’s cute.”

he smelled like cheap cologne, smoke, and beer. the scents on him were all too familiar to his father stumbling into the living room after a night at the casino. 

“haha, yeah,” he mumbled, standing up and adjusting the strap on his shoulder, hiking his satchel back up to where it needed to be. “you ready to go?”

gale felt that unease in his stomach spreading out to the rest of his limbs like horrible black tendrils of smoke. john’s large hand was now grabbing at his slim waist as they walked out of the classroom, the other man babbling on and on about some party he went to last week, and how he drank some poor freshman under the table like it was nothing. 

then, like a ton of bricks, it hit him. why he was so nervous. why he was so compelled to say yes to this date– why he felt like he couldn’t say no to john. it wasn't just because he was handsome and somewhat charming. his stomach was sinking as he dug his teeth into the skin of his cheek almost painfully. 

john reminded him of his father. 

—---------------------

they arrived at a small, student-run cafe on campus that gale liked to visit often. he stopped by when he could, buying a coffee and a little snack and taking a window seat to finish up some schoolwork. 

they walked in, john still hanging off of him like a koala as they walked up to the counter, gale’s face pink, eyes affixed to the counter as he placed his usual order. he could feel different pairs of eyes on him as he stood there, the quiet blonde that only spoke to order his coffee suddenly with a loud-mouthed frat boy hanging off of him. he felt shame creeping up his spine like boiling water about to spill over the edge of a pot.

“what'dya recommend, gale?” john asked him, snapping him out of his spiraling thoughts. 

“ah, i usually get something with a lot of caffeine,” gale blurts out, nervous energy beginning to show in little fits and starts. “keeps me awake so i can study at night.”

“You’re pretty big on school, huh?” john comments passively, making gale flush in a mix of hot embarrassment and shame. The comment hit a little too close to home after growing up and hearing the same thing from countless assholes in school growing up. “i’ll just get whatever he got. make it easy on ya,”

he gave the barista a wink, and he smiled back at john softly. 

“alrighty then, that’ll be $10.59.”

gale pulled his wallet out of his pocket, handing it to the barista and glancing at john with a little anxious smile. god, he was really bad at trying to keep it together.

“you can go find a table for us. i’ll grab our drinks and meet you there.”

“you got it doll.” he crooned, giving him a wink and that million-dollar smile that made something bloom in gale’s stomach. He wasn’t one hundred percent sure if it was a good thing, yet, but he felt it, every time he saw those eyes crinkle up. 

he turned to the barista quickly, leaning in a bit to whisper in case john was still in earshot. “is crosby here?”

“right here, gale,” a familiar voice sounded, turning to face him with two obnoxiously large iced coffees in his hands. “what’s up?

“i’m on a date,” gale blurted out, putting his head in his hands and running long fingers through blonde locks. “I hardly know the guy, but he gave me my glasses after i left ‘em behind in class, and–”

“okay, okay-” croz said, hastily handing off the coffees to the two concerned-looking students beside him. “so did he– did he force you on this date? do you want me to tell him off?” he asked, tone suddenly very serious.

gale hesitated. he wasn’t forced on this date, not in the slightest, but he just couldn’t shake the sinking feeling he had about being here. john reminded him so much of his father– he just felt like his intentions were less than pure with each passing second. 

“no, don’t say anything,” he mumbled, rubbing at his temples. “jus’... keep an eye on us if you can? i just feel nervous about this whole thing. i’m not sure if i’m overthinking or if it’s actually the way he’s acting.” 

“alright.” crosby says, patting gale on the shoulder firmly. “you just let me know. i’ll hop over this counter and kick ass.”

“we both know i can handle myself,” gale hums with a smile. “besides, those eyebags tell me that if you made any sudden moves you’d probably pass out.”

“yeah, well.” he stutters for a second, before his coworker comes to his rescue and hands him two identical coffee cups. “here’s your coffee. i’ll keep an eye on your date for you.”

“stop pulling all-nighters, croz,” gale scolds as he takes the cups in his hands, walking into the open part of the lobby and scanning the cafe for the brown-haired boy he came with.

he spotted john near a table in the corner by a window, staring at the passer-bys as he waited for gale to bring their drinks. for a brief moment, gale’s worries were gone as he took in how pretty john really was. curly brown locks, a strong jaw, straight nose, blue eyes and long eyelashes. he felt that strange warmness in his stomach again as he approached, tensing a bit as john’s eyes landed on him as he sat down.”

“that was pretty quick,” he hummed, taking the cup gale handed to him and smiling crookedly. “i see why you like this place,”

“yeah, i’ve never had to wait too long for a drink here,” gale laughs softly, his nerves creeping back up as he scooted his chair forward. “i mean, most drinks on the menu are pretty simple, so…”

“you know a lot about coffee?” john asks, taking a tentative sip from his scalding hot cup, hissing as it goes down. “wanna be a barista someday?”

gale actually chuckles a little at that. “ah, no, just… have a friend that knows a bit about it. shares menu secrets so that i can make ‘em back at my dorm if i want. i’m more into math….animals…stuff like that.”

“never understood people that actually like math, y’know.” john laughs, thumbing at the small opening of the lid of his cup. “was always my worst subject. i mean- i was never much of a school kid, but math really did me in.”

“ah, well math was always kinda fun for me.” gale began, feeling a little more at ease with the casual conversation john was making. “it was hard, yes, but that's what made it fun, you know? it's like– when you finally solve that equation that's been bothering you, you feel so good. like you could conquer anything. it's why i took up physics– much harder, made you really use your brain.”

“issat what your major is?”

“yep. i’m well on my way to getting a degree in physics– minor in education.” gale explains, fingers tracing along the sleeve that hugged his warm coffee cup. “i’d love to be a teacher one day. i know a lot of kids are apprehensive about math and other hard subjects like physics, but i wanna be the teacher that makes them enjoy subjects like that. an enthusiastic teacher can change everything for a kid.”

“mhm. all my teachers were assholes. didn't like me. ‘s why i skipped class all the time.”

“don't say that,” gale laughed, leaning in to take a sip from his coffee, which was hot enough to fog up his glasses. “i’m sure they liked you. it’s just hard being a teacher, sometimes. kids are a handful, y’know. which is why i’ll probably teach an older grade.”

“...so like….what is physics?” john asks suddenly, leaning back in his chair, strong arms crossed over his chest. “i mean i know what it is but like…what's it the study of?”

“it's basically the study of the nature and properties of matter and energy. a lot to do with the mathematics of movement, different types of energy, that type of thing.” he explains, leaning forward in his chair. “like, we’ll study how atoms and soundwaves work, do the math for force and inertia, focus on the mathematics of atoms– its all really nerdy stuff, but i find it fascinating. dunno why– maybe it's the fact that someone out there figured all of this out and shared his teachings, only for them to get built upon to the point we are today… i just love things like that.”

midway through his spiel, he noticed that john wasn’t exactly looking him in the eyes, which was fine. gale had trouble with eye contact sometimes– it wasn’t something he was too concerned about. then he realized john’s eyes were scanning him, up and down like a predator ready to pounce on a helpless little animal it spotted in the swaying grass.

His gaze would go from his eyes, to his lips, then to his hands, which were beginning to grip his coffee cup so tightly that he thought it would explode, and then to his chest, which prompted gale to cross his arms over his upper body protectively.

“enough about that– i’m sure you don’t wanna hear about the math behind force and motion,” he laughed, clearing his throat. “what are you majoring in?” 

john blinked at him, eyes a little wide as a big hand scratched at the back of his neck. “well, shit. I guess i’m just majorin’ in general studies. i’m gonna be one hundred percent honest with you gale, i applied to college when i was high with my friend curt.”

gale paused. “really? and you got in?”

a soft laugh left bucky’s lips, eyes crinkling up as he took another small sip of his coffee. “yep. i was just as surprised as you. told my momma i’d apply just for the hell of it, not thinking i’d get in, but whaddya know?” a strand of hair fell into his face as he set his cup back onto the table, pink tongue darting out to lick at stray droplets of coffee that clung to his lips. gale felt his throat tighten, oddly.

“as for hobbies…i dunno. i drink, i party. typical frat boy stuff. i find just about any party on campus, head on in, drink until i can hardly recognize anyone– gets crazy. usually ends up at my dorm.”

gale flushes at the implications and grabs at his coffee cup as john continues.

“you ever been to a frat party?”

“no.” gale says simply, pressing his lips to the rim of his cup and worrying the plastic of the lid with his teeth. “never been much of a party person. i like when things are quiet.”

“i dunno, i feel like if you were at a party with someone you liked you’d really enjoy yourself. i know you said you don’t drink, but have you tried it at all?”

gale shifted in his seat, eyes affixed to the ground as that familiar, dark sinking feeling returned to the pit of his stomach. he didn’t like where this conversation was going at all. 

“i…. i have, once. didn’t like it.” he says against the plastic lid. “said i’d never drink again.”

john’s thumb is brushing against his lower lip, now, eyes lidded and affixed to the way gale’s anxiously mouthing at his coffee cup. predatory, gale thinks, trying to avoid john’s gaze as he begins to speak again.

“knew a guy like that a few months ago,” he starts, eyes flashing with something dangerous. “straight edge, hated beer. took him out to a party and man- i’ve never seen someone drink so much. got real loose. we ended up in a room together and the rest was a total fuckin’ blur. still comes to my room to drink every once and a while. or… just to hang out, you know.” 

their eyes met, blue-on-blue, dark and lustful on doe-ish and scared. gale suddenly very much wanted to be anywhere else but here, in this cafe. He should have went with his gut, trusted that little voice in his head telling him that this living embodiment of 2000s grunge was just trying to get into his pants. almost like he couldn’t stop himself, he shot up out of his seat, coffee in one hand and bag in the other, trying to hide the discomfort painted across his face.

he wasn't a prude– that's not what this was– he's just never positively thought about sex. mainly because he'd get weird compliments and looks as soon as he hit sixteen, which had kind of soured his whole idea of sex. he had always declined hookups and booty calls, leading to nasty words and nastier threats, but he did it for his safety. it was just the way it had to be.

he remembered his father’s words to him. no one wants to sleep with a goddamn–

“sorry, i have to go.” gale said firmly, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips. “i just remembered i have a test for another class tomorrow– you get it. we can reschedule.” 

he’s backing out towards the door as he rambles out excuses, back hitting the door roughly. “i had fun, really. sorry.”

before john could even try to chase after him, he turned on his heel and walked briskly out of the cafe, hissing as the sun's rays hit his eyes. he felt like the world was blending together- a mix of all kinds of sickening colors that passed his watery eyes in a blur as he bulldozed his way to his dorm. he felt bile rising in his throat, burning and bitter- making the tears in his eyes well up more. he found shelter in a small alleyway nestled between buildings, dark and quiet. he felt his breathing slow a little bit.

no, no. don’t you dare fucking cry, gale. not over this– over him. he scolded himself, lips parted as he let out little puffs of air, trying to regulate his frantic breaths. his eyes scrunched shut, trying to fight back tears like he was a little kid again, standing before his father with his head hung low, fists clenched.

“c’mon, damn it. hit me back! i didn’t raise a bitch!” 

and poor gale, he’d raise his fists again, not left with a choice, trembling like a leaf on an unsteady branch as he looked at his dad with tears running down his face. that same cheap beer smell was everywhere. 

“oh, you wanna cry, huh? i’ll give you somethin’ to fuckin’ cry about!”

gale hasn’t shed a tear since that night. a deep, deep-rooted fear that if he did, everyone around him would dig into him and eat him alive was instilled in him after that night. he hasn’t cried since then, and he won’t cry now, not over some dickhead in a slipknot shirt. 

he inhaled deeply, lungs expanding as he opened his eyes, hand running through his hair gently. his coffee had completely spilled onto the ground, puddling around his feet in a murky, dark brown pond. 

what a waste of five dollars.

—---------------------

john didn’t come to class the following day, much to gale’s relief. he was able to focus and get some good notes taken without feeling his gaze on the back of his skull. it was rainy outside today, the clouds completely overcast the sun and drizzling rain drops over the fresh earth outside. gale felt hypnotized watching the way the water dripped down the windows, amplifying his calm. 

his eyes remained affixed to the rain outside as he exited class, hands shoved into the pockets of his leather pants. he loved the rain. the smell, the clouds, the way it looked. 

“hey.”

he froze in his steps, eyes slowly moving to gaze at the man in front of him. gale really thought he wouldn’t have to deal with him today. maybe he was actually worried about him? god, who fucking knows.

“john,” gale said evenly, straightening his back. “you weren’t in class today. wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“had to come check up on you after yesterday,” he shrugged, leaning against the wall. “left me hangin’. what happened?”

gale set his jaw, taking deep, even breaths. keep it together. “had a test to study for, like i said. sorry if i seemed shaken up or anything, but it was a big test.”

“big test…” john repeated, tongue running across his lips. “yeah, i get it.” he shrugged, smiling crookedly. “must be tired from all that studying. you free tonight at all? you could come back to my dorm, hang out for a bit.”

gale flushed, partly out of anger, and partly because he was flustered. jesus, this guy just didn’t know when to fucking quit, huh?

“nah, i’ve got plans tonight, actually.” gale mutters, averting his gaze. “work.”

“you work on campus?”

“off campus, actually,” he said curtly, checking his watch. “actually gotta get going soon, or i’ll be late. maybe another time.”

he didn’t even wait for a response, because it would probably just be john asking when he was off, or if he was free tomorrow– and he didn’t feel like dealing with it. all of his anxieties towards him were starting to turn into annoyance. he still felt uneasy around him, but seeing as he hasn’t actually tried to harm and/or force himself onto gale, he felt like he had a bit more wiggle room to talk back. And if he did try something, then…

whatever. he didn’t need to think about him right now.

—---------------------

“he’s bein’ so fucking difficult, curt.” john huffs, pacing between their beds like a caged animal. “he’s got mood swings like a goddamn chick– i don’t know what the fuck i’m doing wrong!”

john kicks a stray can of beer across the room, before flopping onto curt’s bed like a kid having a tantrum. “he makes me feel like a goddamn creep. like– whenever i get close, he steps back- or when i touch him he looks for an excuse to get away from me.”

“maybe he jus’ doesn’t like being touched,” curt shrugs, laying down by john’s head and playing with a few strands of his loose hair. “you literally told me that you might have to play it slow with him- why’re you gettin’ all impatient?”

“what was it you said? you wanna devour him? that’s why.” he sighs. “thought i’d be able to control myself to play it slow, but goddamn, curt, he’s gorgeous. absolutely beautiful. i jus’ don’t get why he has to be so uptight and shit.”

“damn, maybe you are a creep.” the shorter man teases, making john groan and press his palms to his eyes. “i’m just jokin’, bucky, jesus!” he sighs, fingers tangling in his hair.

“i’m jus’ over it at this point, curtie. why can’t i just get my dick wet with a cute blonde? and what do i do? back off? come on stronger? why’s it so hard to get laid nowadays?”

amid his self-pitying rant, curt had sunk to his knees between john’s legs, small hands on large thighs as he laid his cheek against the warm skin.

“i know. life is soooo hard for such a pretty boy like you, isn’t it,” he teases, hand tracing upwards until it meets with the semi-hardness of bucky’s cock. “why don’t i help you feel better, hm?”

john hissed at the touch, hips rising into the warmth of curt’s palm as his other free hand pulled him from the confines of his shorts. “fuck. you always know how to cheer me up.”

curt just smiled, full of dimples, before taking john in his mouth with practiced ease. he knew bucky and his cock all too well– so it wasn’t hard to get him going. he ran his tongue along the bottom, savoring the salty-musky taste of precum on his tongue as he swallowed him down with eagerness. it wasn’t long before john’s loud grunts picked up in volume, becoming breathier as he reached his peak, spilling down curt’s throat for the second time that week.

curt pulled off, giving him one last cruel lick before standing and smoothing out the wrinkles of his shirt. “okay, now get up. we’ve got a party to go to.”

“goddamn, gimmie a minute to catch my breath,” john huffed, sitting up and tucking himself back into his shorts. “you just sucked my soul out. can’t we just stay in?”

“as much as i’d love to give you your post-blowjob cuddles, this party is literally in the next building over and has this dude from history there that i’ve got my eye on. get your ass up.”

bucky sighed deeply, standing on wobbly legs and placing a large hand in curt’s already messy hair. “you’re a pain in my ass. you’re soooo lucky i love you.”

john swears he sees curt go a little pink at that- but he ignores it as the shorter man leads them out of the door.”

“yeah, i know.”

taglist: @mooodyblue @lauvmyself @kaiistheguy @slowsweetlove

[rikeijo]

Hi! I've heard somewhere that some lines of Yuuri's speech at the press con in episode 5 were mistranslated and that because of this, the speech comes across as if Yuuri doesn't know what exactly he is feeling for Viktor. I can't tell if it's really mistranslated, but I always found the subs in this scene a bit confusing. So, I'd love to know: how would you translate his speech?

Hi! Thank you for the ask!

I must admit that I've never properly watched Eng sub or dub version, and even though I bought the US edition to someday discuss some translation choices (that's imo super fun thing to do ✨) my only laptop that had a built-in DVD player broke down >.<

Sooo, I searched online for his speech in subtitles, but I'm not sure if the subtitles I've found are official...

"My theme in this year's Grand Prix series is "love". I've been helped by many people in my competitive skating career thus far, but I've never thought about "love" until now. Though I was blessed with support, I couldn't take full advantage of it. I always felt like I was fighting alone. But since Victor has showed up to be my coach, I've seen something totally different. My "love" isn't something clear-cut like romantic love, but the more abstract feeling of my relationships with Victor, family and hometown... I was finally able to realize that something like love exists all around me. Victor is the first person I've ever wanted to hold on to. I don't really have a name for that emotion, but I've decided to call it love. Now that I know what love is and am stronger for it, I'll prove it myself with a Grand Prix Final gold medal!"

If this is the official translation, then well, the overall message is close, I'd say, but at the same time, hmm... If you wanted to base a ""deep"" character analysis on it, it could probably lead you in a wrong direction... Especially the end is just mistranslated.

今年のグランプリシリーズで僕がテーマにするのは〝愛〞です。My theme for this year's Grand Prix series is "love".

今までのスケート人生いろんな人に助けられながらやってきましたが、愛について考えたことは一度もありませんでした。In my life as a figure skater until now, I've come to the place, where I'm now, while being helped by a lot of different people, but I haven't even once thought/pondered about "love".

恵まれた環境にいながらそれを生かしきれず、１人で戦っているような気持ちでずっといました。けど、ヴィクトルコーチが現れて、僕の見ていた景色は一変しました。I've always been in a very favorable ["for me to be a figure skater" in this context] environment, but I wasn't able to make a full use of it and I always felt as if I had been fighting alone. But, Coach Victor appeared and the scenery I see [that is: the way I see the world around me] changed completely.

僕の愛。それは分かりやすい愛や恋ではなくて、ヴィクトルとの絆や家族や地元に対する微妙な気持ち。My love. It's not [general] love or romantic love that is easy to understand, but my bond with Victor, and the lukewarm way I feel about my family and my local community. [This sentence, imo, is often mistranslated, but you can also argue about how it should be interpreted in Jp. However, to do that you have to be able to notice nuance just from the intonation of the sentence... For example, imo, because of where the VA makes a pause in the sentence, it should be "general love or romantic love that is easy to understand" and not "general love that is easy to understand or romantic love", but grammatically both option are possible. "微妙", when you look for the definition in a dictionary, is often translated as "subtle" or something similar ("abstract" is just a mistranslation, tho), but, imo, from the context, it should be the more modern meaning of the world, which basically means nowadays "not bad, I guess, but I don't really know". That's why Yuuko was offended by Yuuri's word choice. Also, based on the intonation and grammar (no need to have two "や"s in one sentence when giving examples) "bond with Victor" and "feelings towards family and local community" are two separate issues.]

ようやく自分の周りにある愛のようなものに気づくことができました。At last I was able to notice the love-like thing that is around me.

初めて自分からつなぎ止めたいと思った人、それがヴィクトルです。The first person that I myself [the vector of the action starts from Yuuri, it's an allusion to what the Nishigoris talk about with Victor in ep. 2] wanted to tie to me [and don't let them go] is Victor.

その感情に名前はないけど、あえて愛と呼ぶことにしました。This feeling doesn't have a name, but I decided to dare to call it "love".

愛を知って強くなった僕をグランプリファイナルの金メダルで証明しますっ！ I'll prove myself, who got to know what love is and because of that became stronger by [winning] a gold medal in the Grand Prix Final. [The way it's worded suggests that Yuuri wants to prove his own "worth", not necessarily that what he says is true - it's not "I want to prove that...", but "I want to prove myself, who...".]

Oh, and by the way, if you read the speech carefully, Yuuri talks about "two loves" here - first, he explains that his theme is "love" and what that word "love" means to him - so "something like love, that is around him", and only then he starts talking about one more feeling - the feeling that doesn't have a name, but he decided to "dare to call love" - and that is what he feels for Victor. Because the word "あえて" is there, and it means "dare to", do something "daringly", to me it always felt as a variation/reference to the famous quote from Oscar Wilde's lover, Lord Alfred Douglas' poem "The love that dare not speak its name", but maybe that's just me ✨

[alwayshappyhoursomewhere]

Compilation of translation snippets I did about interviews published on kiss&cry magazine vol.49, all about Shoma and One Piece on Ice (also posted on twt and here as backup)

Keiji and Koshiro on Shoma:

Keiji: Shoma isn't really Luffy's type, but you can tell that he's trying his best to become Luffy, and that he's enjoying it. He is absorbing more and more and trying to overcome the "wall" of doing moves that he has never done before, moves that are unlike him. When I see that, it makes me want to work even harder.

Koshiro: at the beginning I couldn't imagine Shoma doing Luffy's "full of energy!” movements, so I was like "Do your best (laugh)”, but during rehearsals there were many scenes where I thought, "Oh, it's Luffy! (laugh). I am sure that everyone will be satisfied with Luffy. There are music, dialogue, and people other than himself, so timing is important, but he writes down the flow in his notebook and reviews it. He is taking Luffy really seriously.”

Do you feel any change in Uno since the rehearsals for "One Piece on Ice" started?

Keiji: "Yes, I feel it, he seems to be enjoying it. I think things are going to get harder from now on, but one of the things I'm looking forward to is seeing how Shoma changes as a result of that. I want to be by his side to support him, because he is under the heaviest pressure as the leader.

Shoma’s interview:

How did you feel when you were offered the role?

I have performed to music before, but I’ve never played a story or a character, so at first I thought, "Am I really the right person for this? I was puzzled, but I was happy that they chose me out of so many people. Now that I've been given the job, I will continue to search for what I can do to make it as great as possible, and I will give it my all.

How long did it take you from the time you were offered to the time you decided to appear in the show?

I didn't need think about it for very long. I'm relatively good at figure skating as a sport, as an athlete, and I think I'm doing a good job at it, but I think I'm far from the ideal figure skater that everyone has in their mind. Of course, figure skating is fascinating as a sport in itself, but I think one of its charms is that you focus on one skater and watch their performance and growth, which in a sense is like treating them like idols. I am not good at that part, so I don't know what kind of figure skater I will be when I leave competition someday. I hope that the experience I will gain from One Piece on Ice will give me a clue about that.

Did you get that idea from winning the World Championships for the second time?

There are many reasons, but I think that is one of them. I used to compete with my eyes fixed on the ‘top’, but now that I've achieved results, I asked myself, "What do I want to do next?”, and I thought that I wanted to embody more strongly the charm of figure skating. I have been able to do things my own way in both competitions and ice shows, and that will never change, but I've also started to think that I want to show the audience what they want to see. One Piece on Ice is a show in which I play a character that I’ve never played before, and that’s a new challenge for me. I would like to develop my ability of expression, where I feel I am lacking the most.

Do you feel more "excited" or "pressured" in anticipation of this new challenge?

I would say it's 6:4 in favor of anxiety (bitter smile). Of course I am very much looking forward to it, but I am not sure how much of my accumulated experience I will be able to put to use. I think that because fans love "ONE PIECE" so much, they will look at it more harshly than non-fans when it is adapted into something other than a manga or anime. I am a fan myself, so I understand how they feel. I know I can't satisfy all of them, but I still hope that I can show them something as good as possible.

In "ONE PIECE ON ICE", the " Alabasta Arc" will be depicted. Do you have a favorite scene?

I have read the Alabasta Arc many times. I think my favorite scene is the story of Crocodile and Bibi, and my favorite part of the story is when Bibi faces various conflicts and stands up to protect what he wants to protect with a strong heart. It makes me think about a lot of things."

Your rinkmate from Champéry, Switzerland, Koshiro Shimada, plays the role of Sanji. Have you talked to him about being cast in the show?

I was really happy he was cast. I think Koshiro likes "One Piece" the most out of all the skaters, and back when the rest of the cast had not yet been decided, I had hoped that he would be cast, so I was happy when he was chosen to play the role. He has very long legs just like Sanji. Koshiro also said, "For the first time, I appreciated the length of my legs" (Laughs). I believe that Koshiro-kun is good at playing characters, so I am not worried about anything.

What do you think you and Luffy have in common?

I am not the kind of person who can make people smile like Luffy, so our personalities are far apart. The only thing we have in common is that we both like meat (laughs).

I thought that Luffy's proactive attitude toward difficulties seems to overlap with yours.

I think that a life without difficulties would be boring. In order to get something that you think is unattainable you have to practice a lot, and then you finally get it, and that's when you feel happy and satisfied, I think. So, I am forcing myself to say this, but I would be happy if I could compare myself with Luffy in that way.

You mentioned that in your figure skating programs, you express the melody or sound itself, not the story behind the music. This time, you will be playing a character in a story with a plot, how do you approach it?

I've never really done this before... Fortunately, it's a work that I know well and love, but I'm not sure how I'll be able to express myself in it... I don't know. I think my job will be to take the intentions of the director, Ms. Kahori Kanaya, and the choreographer, Mr. Kenji Miyamoto, and see how faithfully I can reproduce them. I can't see the whole picture yet, but I will just give it my all and do my best.

Knowing there will be many people who don't usually watch figure skating, what do you want to convey to them?

"I think it is important to reproduce the ideal of Mr. Kahori and Mr. Kenji, in terms of the distinctive appeal of figure skating. I hope to be able to show no less than what they envisioned, but it's really unknown.... First of all, I would like to concentrate on the daily training in front of me.

Thank you very much. Finally, do you have a message for the fans who are going to see "One Piece on Ice"?

I don't know how I will be feeling right before the show, but I may be more nervous than at the Olympics or the World Championships (laugh). Because this is something I don't usually do, I am sure I will feel things like anxiety and impatience, but I hope that I will be able to feel a sense of accomplishment as I take on this challenge with all my might. And on top of that, I would like to polish my expressiveness. think this will be a new challenge for all the performers. I hope we can all work together to create a good show, so please come and see it."

from Kenji Miyamoto’s interview:

How do you work on the choreography?

I listen to the scene Kanaya-san [t/n: the director] wants to create, think about how to incorporate it into the skating on the spot, and improvise the choreography. If there is a difference from Kanaya's image, she will politely explain to me that she wants me to reduce the speed more, or that her image of the emotion is different, so she is very helpful.

Shoma Uno plays the main character, Luffy. What do you see as the similarities between the two of them?

"Maybe that he walks in a straight line towards the goal. He doesn't give up, doesn't compromise, keeps his eyes on one point and pushes forward. This is my impression of Shoma's usual practice, and I think the same can be said for Luffy.

How is Shoma Uno doing?

He is trying his best. From the choreography on the ground (off-ice?), he is moving his body as hard as he can, almost to the point of falling down, as if he were trying to reach his limit. I also feel that his facial expressions are becoming more expressive, so I am looking forward to seeing his growth in the future.

I watched the rehearsal of the "rebel dance scene". What did you pay attention to?

“It's a choreography full of speed that conveys the sense of dynamism that is unique to skating. Also, the rebels led by Koza share the same anger, so I was particular about expressing that they seem to be moving separately, but on the other hand, they are somehow in sync with each other. We also expressed the battle scene and the emotions of the characters in the center of gravity shift and edge work of the skating.

[inchandescence]

Chanbaek Tarot Reading 2024

Chanbaek Tarot Reading 240320

I read 3 parts: current, 2nd half 2024 until the end of the year, and 1-2 years in the future.

Before reading please know:

If you don't believe in tarot then you don't have to and please never mock people who loves reading tarot predictions, we all have rights and our own free will, and it's not a crime.

Tarot readings are not facts, they are predictions or you can also say a glimpse of what is happening and what would happen.

How detail the reading is influenced by the reader, for myself I can't give a very detailed reading yet, so this is how I far I could do it.

Also I've read tarot for chanbaek many times since 2021 and this reading... I could say it's the most positive out of all readings I've done.

---

Current situation with chanbaek:

Keywords: healing, finding peace, contentment, seeing positives, growing to stability, steady loving relationship, privileged, new perspective, take action

Before this current time (1st half of 2024) chanbaek had a series of hard time in their relationship, doesn't have to be because of themselves, could be bcs of many other factors, but bcs of those issues they experienced some kind of slow down BUT now at this time they finally healed and able to make peace, so I think the issues are more to last year (2023) cus I read them too last year and yes they were having issues here and there, with external people too. Now they finally felt content of the resolution and they can see the positive outcomes. Because of them finally moving on to a better time for their relationship, at the same time their relationship is growing to stability and is going to be steady. FYI, in the past years when people read tarot for chanbaek, it's already predicted that they are going to reach a stable and steady period of their relationship SOMEDAY when they are both ready. And I believe... this current time is going to be that beginning. Additionally, they will be able to see their past mistakes, reflect, and learn, and be open to new perspectives, they both know what they want and what each other want, and they will no longer beat around the bush, they will immediately take action now, all for their relationship.

---

The rest of 2024 (the 2nd half until the end of the year):

Keywords: party, celebration, gathering, family, stability, caring, home, but also business, domestic comfort, support, helping each other, openness (discussion, sharing)

Okay... like kinda crazy bcs I feel like we have been given a glimpse of chanbaek's stable and steady and very domestic life as a couple (finally) and it also begins with some kind of a party, celebration, gathering with family. What im getting is!! This year baekhyun will finish kyoongcon and chanyeol will finally either release PCY1 or reveal the first official hint for PCY1 and like both of them worked so hard for all of their individual projects 1-3rd quarter and they finish them well! So at the end of 2024 they will be having holiday and party and celebrate with family hehe and also after this celebration I think chanbaek won't like rest assured, both of them will go back to work right away and they might think its gonna be a little harder bcs they both alr achieved many great things in 2024 and 2025 the standard will be even higher but both of them will have this kind of worry and they will be open to each other about this! They will share and discuss their plans, whats next, whats good, they will always be there for each other no matter what.Oh adding to this!! I think both will be living that double income couple life so well you know.. like they go to work, do business, they go home, sleep tgt, eat tgt, really happy workaholic couple 😂

---

Chanbaek Future!! 1-2 years later

Keywords:

"quality time with people you cherish in your life"

"turning romantic wishes into reality"

connection and commitment

Okay I feel like the result isnt as detailed as the first 2 questions' results BUT still this is a glimpse of what the future holds for their relationship and the answer indicates they will spend more time tgt compared to this year or previous year, they will have more quality time with each other and people around them, and they will build that connection as a commited couple who will walk to their future together. Also a card describes chanbaek's commited relationship as an air sign, I'm an air sign myself and I feel like this is really really good, being an air sign is wonderful and just the best because like air sign is a sign of freedom and humanity, air sign likes to fly away yet at the same time, they know when to stop flying and rest for a bit and look what is happening under the sky. This is a healthy relationship, both chanbaek will get the freedom they want as both are very independent, but also when they need each other and care about each other, they will be together. Like their relationship has this good set of boundaries but also uncountable empathy.

---

P.S.: While wedding/engagement is possible but what I feel is more to celebrating their achievements in 2024 hehe BUT WHO KNOWS

I suddenly have the urge to read tarot bcs of the penshoppe x bench thingy haha i feel like it gives more hm how do i say it, it adds one more "red string" to chanbaek, what i mean is now theres another thing that connects both of them so their energy tgt will become stronger

[ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade]

Today marks the 6th anniversary of Final Fantasy XV’s release, and though I started writing a brief tribute to the game over on Twitter, I quickly realized I had much more to say about today’s milestone than Twitter’s character limit would allow for.

So I came back to where it all started for me, here on Tumblr. That I could scarcely remember my password goes to show how regrettably I’ve neglected this account, despite the fact that XV still means a great deal to me. I wish I could say it was because I was more active on Twitter, but even over there I have struggled to post regular updates and engage with the XV community (which I am happy to report still has quite the active fanbase and has even seen some growth by my observations).

In truth, much of my identity has been defined by FFXV these past six years—for better or worse. It’s not an exaggeration to say XV changed the trajectory of my life; it landed in my lap immediately following the worst professional failure of my life, comforted me through the loss of a parent, and brought me in touch with people from around the globe, many of whom have become dear friends to me. My abilities as both a writer and an artist saw the kind of growth I never thought possible for myself. I got to play XV with Adam Croasdell in my own home, got to raise thousands of dollars for charity with the help of the XV cast and dozens of other artists, and I was able to support myself financially for the first time in my entire adult life through the sales of my art. In short, I owe everything from the last six years to Final Fantasy XV.

So as one might imagine, it caused somewhat of an identity crisis in me when the one thing that had brought me such joy began to no longer fuel my passion the way it had in years past. Call it burnout, call it depression, call it a sensitivity to the current events of the world, I don’t know—all I know is, something caused me to lose all motivation to work on anything. Where once I had felt like I had an ocean of inspiration I could tap into at any time, it suddenly felt like a dry well. Even today, my tablet sits mostly unused, waiting for the day that that spark returns.

It certainly is not because I have lost my love for XV. This game, which objectively is deeply flawed yet is somehow greater than the sum of its parts, still resides comfortably in my mind. I play a great deal of Final Fantasy XIV these days, which I enjoy very much and is arguably a better game in many ways, and yet it has not come close to capturing my muse the way XV did. I still have pipe dreams of streaming the entirety of XV on Twitch, not in one 24-hour session like I did for Extra Life Game Day in 2020, but slowly over the course of many weeks, exploring the game thoroughly and experiencing the journey with old and new viewers alike. And someday, I vow to roll back to an earlier patch so that I can unlock those unlockable Comrades trophies on PS4 and finally Platinum the game.

So anyway. That’s a lot of rambling haha. TL;DR: I still love XV, even if I can’t express that love through content the way I used to. I still hope to produce a few pieces here and there, and if I do, you know where to find me. (And if you don’t, you can find me here, here, and here.) Happy Anniversary, XV. As always, you guys... are the best. ♡