#YALL ARE FUCKING DERANGED BRO

[dongoverlord]

can tumblr stop showing me terf blogs talking abt roe v wade cause it’s annoying seeing a post you agree with until they try to sneak in their transphobic bullshit and blocking yet ANOTHER blog for the fifth time that day

[frankiistein]

the people looking for celecaster from you are weird asl but at the same time if they're that sensitive to people being mean on tumblr they should have left even earlier like what were they expecting

? the fact that ur sending not even just anon hate but anon hate by proxy is even more weirder than ppl who send anon concern by proxy

that aside their major issues wasnt even just ppl being mean on tumblr it was a culmination of their son dying their chronic illnesses and all their financial problems happening all at once dumbass. for a bunch of stalkers none of yall can catch up to the fucking lore????

even if it was tumblrinas being cyberbullies following a schizo with a schizoposting account where all the posts is about being schizo and getting surprised that they end up as paranoid of everyone doesnt even make u look mean it makes u look genuinely stupid. walking into the circus shocked to see a clown like r u fr.......

also im p sure if u pay attention to their posts b4 deleting they never blamed their suicide on their "audience" (what audience even? u ppl r talking abt this one person with a niche personal blog as if they are a internet celebrity influencer wtf??? i never saw their own mutuals talk 2 them much less some strangers) or to cyberbullying, they said it was bcuz dying of suicide was better than dying of a disease they felt they are run out of money to treat, and some of their posts implied they were under psychotic breaks hallucinating/delusions of either their son or one of their alters telling them to kill themselves

i have a personal concern for them bcuz of my special interest/hyperfixation so i admit i pay more attention to everything they say but its harder for me to ignore ppl like u who r "conveniently" unaware when ur actions show ur obsessed enough w/ them that u would even bother a stranger like me w/ this for me to believe this is completely unknown information 2 others. who the fuck r u even????

highkey yall r just ableist not even hiding it. all this shit would still suck balls if rolypolyphonic was hostile and attacking first of everyone but even at their worst they were only jumpy and defensive, and if this is the type of stuff they apparently got often but tried not to answer in public i understand now why they abandoned this fucking place i wouldnt even blame them if this was the "petty" reason they killed themselves. also all this shit for a schizo blog. contextualize urselves. we love and support the schizoposter until they started acting like a schizo? be fr.

[imblocking-you]

Ch. 39 of Jinx

So much is happening...

[riotlain]

Egos with a psychic s/o

im mentally ill

reader can read minds woah

short bc i need stuff outta my drafts

THIS IS A NWLNW BLOG!! WOMEN DNI

Iplier Egos

Darkiplier

Constantly reading his mind is an actual pain

He tries to keep calm around you and keep his thoughts at bay

He thinks of you alot tho

He usually asks what other egos are thinking about

Mainly Wilford

Hes concerned that Wilford may have killed another person today-

Wilford

Annoying ass

“What am I thinking of now, Dear?” “The body you buried yesterday…”

Also asks what everyone else is thinking

He’s interested in whatever Googles thinking

“Wilford, I cant read an AI’s mind-”

Worth a shot

Illinois

Horny ass

His mind is like everywhere ig??

‘Adventures, cool artifacts, hows Y/n doing, sex-‘

Ig your power handy when adventuring

“Can you uh, hear anyone close by?”

Host

My fucking lord

He knows whats always happening so ig you do too

Always apologizes for it

“The Host sincerely apologizes for his loud thoughts, Y/n..”

Yall get to both be omniscient ig??

Eric

His thoughts are always loud and racing

Constant what ifs and shit from his dad

And he also feels bad you have to hear it all

“I-Im so sorry you um- have to uh.. h-hear my t-thoughts??”

He tries to stay calm around you

Which turns his thoughts incomprehensible at that point

‘Uhmydadwaity/nsheresoishouldntbethinkingthatnajdjjgkf’

The Jims

They all think in unison/j

But like they all think generally similar thoughts

Its usually about the news and such

Im convinced they speak telepathically

‘Jim, do you think this will be good for viewing?’ ‘Why of course Jim! Why wouldn’t it be?’

How? Idk either

Google

You cant read AI

If you could it would be generally boring

‘Main objective: Date night with Y/n. Secondary Objective: Destroy Humanity.’

He does often ask what everyone else is thinking

He wants to know what the human mind is like

Septiceye Egos

Anti

Jit mind is wack

Like he be thinkin the most deranged things and then think ‘Im hungry’

He thinks of you alot surprisingly

Thinks of how attractive he thinks you are

and

Idk sex

Robbie the Zombie

He thinks pretty slow thoughts

Honestly its like static in there

He does have his lil thoughts

'Y/n's pretty' or 'I'm hungry'

Stuff like that

Battle Egos

Phantom

Def wanted your silly lil soul at first

You literally read his mind and just stared at him blankly

“Bro why you want my soul🤨🤨”

Bro was like “Shit man-“

Now that yall datin his mind is usually business, plannin date nights, makin sure Mare isnt up to funny business

The usual

[flattenedcat]

Oh man. It's ass o crack in the morning and I can't sleep because of stupid brain dead fans and insane misinformation.

Incoming rant from a renheng shipper who frequents tiktok that enjoys ships that aren't just green flags or whatever.

Lowkey hate myself for getting obsessed with hkr and renheng. The amount of people who misunderstand lore or that the characters in question have an insane amount of MEMORY LOSS. Also, why are hoyo fans so obsessed with hating on queer ships and spreading bs about them, like bro chill it's just a game and we're all gay fuckers who like to see other gay fuckers in love. It's fiction, seriously who the fuck cares lmao.

Some of yall are just homophobes in disguise who hate any sort of gayness even when it's implied or just theorized. Meanwhile hoyo is trying desperately to get past the censorship and hide the gay while also shoving it down our throats lol. (Aka that typo stuff or whatever. Idk what happened there but why's that your first thought...?)

Ughhh I really need to delete tiktok, I can feel my brain losing cells at a rapid speed. I type renheng and 7/10 videos are just hate. Like bruh don't use the fucking tag you absolute bitches.

Ohhh they're so toxic or whatever. Danheng is traumatized because Blade keeps trying to kill him (...points at canon...lol). First of all, baby that's true love. Joking but like renheng is also very much classic danmei. Lovers to enemies to exes to lovers but slightly deranged. Also very very j*ongdok coded. Oh and now people hating on enemies to lovers trope just cuz they can't stand renheng for whatever reason. Saying stuff like what chemistry or how could they ever like each other, they are trying to kill one another. Like pause. Focus. ENEMIES. TO. LOVERS. ENEMIES ENEMIES ENEMIES. It's not going to be a walk in the park fucking dumbasses.

It's basically friends to lovers to enemies to strangers to enemies to scorned semi-amnesiac exes to lovers again if that helps ^-^. We in the divorce arc now but no one knows lmao, not even the two fuckers in question themselves.

I genuinely don't understand why people are so fixated on hating ships that are 'toxic'. Sure happy good queer ship representation is important. But like, to be brutally honest, I prefer angst and complex, complicated dynamics. Just let us have both, no need to insist that everyone be the pinnacle of morality. That's boring lol. Sure h*artstopper is amazing, but also fucking love h*nnibal too. Imo these the same bitches that want to censor ao3. Let the gays have their toxic shit too, not everyone wants straight fluff.

Also. Hsr is pretty dark when you think about it. At least, from the perspective of someone who only has general knowledge of g*nshin i*pact and just reads funeral man x foxy dude ao3 fics, I was not expecting the deaths of actual people. Like the xianzhou arc had probably the highest body count, with scenes of people literally taking their last breath and not just in the actual gaming part. It's gonna be a bit dark babes.

This goes for jingyuan too. Like i saw someone comment that they're upset he was sorta manipulative during the dragon arc thing. And um sure, but also bros an old ass general who also looks into the future with the divine something. But main point. GENERAL. Sorta his job babes. Mans not going to be some 1D soft uwuu boy. But he's also impartial where he can and perhaps shouldn't be. Tbh hoyo fans should be happy at how complex these characters are.

Sidenote. I find that I cannot stand watching people play games anymore. Like wdym you're talking over the damn cut scene that's significant and/or looking away. Bruh, this isn't a pure battle game, it's heavy on the story so where the fuck is your goddamn attention. Talking bs like oh idk what's going on but they don't read the dialogue, check out the databank/bookshelf, watch the short videos hoyo puts out, or even, just even FUCKING EXPLORE. Some ass I watched just walked straight past vital info, running their goddamn mouth and was then like, broo I'm so confused what's going on?!? Genuinely, if not for the story, then why are you playing? The combat is fun, sure, but it's not like the most riveting thing ever, so why do people not pay attention????

I feel faint oof.

I don't even care if renheng isn't canon and we're all fucking delusional. I'm just annoyed for a varied number of reasons that are triggered everytime I open the devil app that is tiktok...also I feel sorta sad for spoiling 1.3 for myself but also half of it was already spoiled because of tumblr+tiktok having spoilers like the fucking devil himself and also also i feel better/insane that i know like 75% of what's going on.

(Do i need to censor the other names/fandoms? No idea, but might as well ig)

[twincessdiaries4you]

SEE MY THING IS THE WEIRDO IS GONE MAKE ME STOP TALKING TO EVERYONE DO NOT ASK ME TO PARTAKE IN SEXUAL ACTIVITIES WITH MY SIBLINGS WHAT THW ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YALL CREEP ASS BRO REALLY DERANGED AND NEEDS A MENTAL EVALUATION

[heyyallitsbeth]

i dont remember much from my short time in college, but i do remember how in my english course we had to read this really shitty story, i think it was called Fences. basically just a story about a dad being a tool to his wife and son (im mostly exaggerating, it might be better reading it now, it may have just been taught incredibly poorly). but like, the teacher tried to like, make it about how "oh you should respect your elders and that your parents dont owe anything to you" which is of course, deranged boomer shit, and ive never seen a class so unanimously go against a teacher. Literally she went one by one in class and everyone was like "no if my dad treated me anywhere close to that id never talk to him again" "actually if someone brings you into this world as a guardian, you 100% have an obligation to them and owe everything to them" and my favorite, which made the teacher violently angry "bro, i stopped talking to my dad 5 years ago for less than that, you need to reassess your relationship with your daddy". She said "oh my dad cheated but we welcomed him back into our family" and everyone was like "that sounds like a skill issue on your part".

thats the thing about gen z, we do not put up with ANY bullshit lol. we dont take disrespect from anyone, especially not our elders. if we get told off at work for something stupid, we leave. If someone makes us feel like shit, we tell them to kick rocks and we leave. i once had a job where a coworker was apparantly saying transphobic shit about me behind my back, and one of the other coworkers kicked his ass, and upon coming back from being reprimanded said to me and the rest of the crew "and i hope i taught yall a lesson, cause ill do that shit again in a heartbeat". Nowadays, this generation's got nothin to lose, realize they have nothin to gain, and are more willing than ever to just say "fuck you" when they need to.

[debatenarutooocs]

ITS ME THE HIMEYGI…. I’m

Sorry not , ion want no beef . But I’m in a new chapter everyone my Vtubing account is @thatsnotvixxy(or 1 x and two y’s) I came here to say ….. seiki, negate, nlinz , jade etc. if someone had to make me spell something.. I spell that shit wrong, even if it meant to save y’all. I’ll get it wrong on purpose. 😭 no cause like fuck y’all for ruining my Danm time in the bnha/anime art fandom. Ain gon say it’s all your fault but y’all was just fuck up ass adults. Idgaf y’all famous , shit my Twitter / every social media is on my link tree cardd SHII thing, if you got anything to say. Bc what made y’all say “okay we don’t like this poc minor lets fucking lie on her to make us feel better” and lord forbid Meg you a bitch that switch over.(mind you all these emotions in the pass, I could care less if yall eat or not 😭💀) . But y’all sat there on YALL asses to make a FUVKING lie! And seiki b**ch you made it seem like I wanted student x teacher but you never in a day in your life showed that Danm proof! Like if it was serious SHOW THE PROOF THAT I DID THAT SHIT ! But tada it was no fucking proof, and SHII if we gon keep it real I honestly though we had a sister/bro hood (they/them) but massa and that clout got to yo mfk head ! Oopsies😭 and Meg .. now shorty tf you make some fake ass I messages ??? I already checked yo ass on dms but still mfk you was like 20 or 21 idk. And everybody else ….. y’all was some hating ass mfks like deadass . If you trip suck on a cock and fall. (Hella typos DONT care) but all the energy abt what people get and there back….. keep hearing/seeing those words I meant every fucking thing. ….. but if a mfk want to apologize I don’t mind . But I said what I said off my chest and that was YALL was some mentally derange ass adults that maybe couldn’t get no dick or ass or some shit, coochie . (I say that as a asexual😭😭 no dick by choice). Other then that…. Hmmmmmm if I do art it’s @friendzndstyles and twitch ig / Vtubing @thatsnotvixyyvt. BUT CONGRATS I GOT MY MY PNG VTUBER ARTIST

Welp toodle-loohhh be safe guys now that I’m 20 … ion really give af if y’all like me / forgive me , just don’t fuck up my safe place with y’all childish ass stupidity wii lies , cause some YALL ass joining the vtuber community apparently 😭💀. But idc eat go do something , think abt YALL reflection of the past. Uh other people Ian add no names but YALL fuck YALL to anybody in that group who had beef and act like who couldn’t speak up. - and that’s on vixy aka himeygi ! Aka any other name I had through the years .

MY VTUBER A FOX SHARK! IMMA BE A W BLACK AFRICAN AMERICAN NUBIAN STREAMER 🫧🩵(oshi mark)

[leqsr]

YALL IM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS /DERANGED AND EMBARRASED

Alr so earlier today a customer accidentally squirted some hand sanitizer on my face, and I thought it was pretty funny right? And a few minutes ago my manager came up to me while I was working and asked how my new year was (bc I don't see her often) and I just fucking looked at her with my 'basically nonverbal don't talk to me' ass and said 'I got squirted on' and I fuckign doubled over in laughter bc,, , THATS NOT WHAT I MEAN TO SAY

Bro 💀💀💀💀💀

[1337wtfomgbbq]

New list of 'classic f1 gang includes':

• @riccardo-and-elio turned from patrese hoe to de angelis hoe (even had to change their url)

• @riccardo-and-elio starts to refer to ayrton only as 'elio's team mate'

• @k-ky is now in the deranged football chat, lookin at müller and neuller and going "i want this, I need this"

• The lauda bitches of the lauda archives giving us deranged niki content

• @bluesourkiwi giving us pretty drawings of the pretty boys

• @puellascribere giving us CHIBI CONTENT😆

• @f1yogurt turning into a partner in crime as they suggest Nelson having an ostrich

• @greenliketheskyf1pics being on fire as usuall (#ronniepetersonsdadbod)

• Also suddenly turns into a fashion guru as they review the outfits of the drivers at the 82 strike

• @greenliketheskyf1pics is still the biggest damn nigelio hoe btw.

• The nigelio is so strong in the fandom it's unreal

• Also how the fuck did Elio manage to end up as our blorbo king?? (It's cause of @riccardo-and-elio )

• @gufettogrigio still going MIA and then hitting us with greatness (i'm still so thankfull for your proquet post bestie, ily🤗)

• @felixa2728 is also MIA (you good bro? everything cool?)

• junky still likes doing 'elio being a bitch to ayrton' quotes way too much (even more than prosenna bitchfights atm)

• @gp2engine stumbling their way into the classic f1 (fyi: i love when yall stumble your way into this)

[taramaclaywasaterf]

If gun control actually worked, Shitcago wouldn’t be a war zone every weekend.

Why are gun freaks like this lol I make one post saying shootings seem to be going up in my old neighborhood and how we need gun control and this coward comes crawling outta the damn woodwork to spew some nonsense in my inbox lmao. Do yall like sit around refreshing the gun control tag just waiting for a new post for you to jump on? Like, c’mon, bro. You can’t even defend yourself off anon, you really think you can defend yourself with a firearm?

Anyway, considering gun control has worked for literally every other developed country on the planet, I think that’s more than enough proof you need that it, ya know, works lol. And no, Chicago isn’t proof against gun control, it’s proof why we need it. Where do you think people get illegal guns, dumbfuck? Do you think they make guns out of thin air? That they fall from the sky? No, they buy them off people who bought them legally. They steal them off legal gun owners. They get them at shady ass gun shows. Hell, my dad (a gun freak like you) bought a rifle online and it was literally stolen in transit. If we had gun control, that wouldn’t have fucking happened, because you shouldn’t be able to buy a goddamn rifle online as if it’s a new pair of shoes.

I don’t even think we should totally ban guns. I was raised in a gun-obsessed family and taught to shoot since I was little. I think people should be allowed to have handguns in the home for protection, and people who hunt for food should be allowed to have guns to, ya know, survive. But guns and ammo should always need to be registered and tracked, you need a license to buy/sell, you need to take a test to get your license then retake it every few years, and the very second you’re caught doing anything violent at all, you’ll be banned from gun ownership for life, along with anyone living in the same house as you, and anyone caught giving you access to firearms will also be banned. If your gun gets stolen, you’ll also be held responsible for any injuries/deaths committed with that gun, right along with the person who shot it. If your dumbass kid shoots up a school with your gun, congrats, you’re getting held just as responsible as the kid. Keep your stupid fucking phallic shaped murder toy locked up for christ sake.

Just like the majority of countries with gun control- it wouldn’t be a total removal of guns, it’s making sure deranged lunatics like you and the idiot from the Vegas shooting are unable to have like 50+ automatic assault rifles and bump stocks and a literal fucking boatload of ammo. Because anyone with that amount of guns/ammo does not have good intentions. There’s no reason for it. This isn’t hard to understand, you just refuse to listen.

Lastly, buddy, the most gun deaths happen in red states/cities, not Chicago. But we all know why you braindead morons like to regurgitate that sweet sweet NRA/Fox propaganda lmao

[oatflatwhite]

2021 fic year in review

tagged by @tylerhunklin​ @astronautdiaz and @evcndiaz​ thank you lovelies!

Total Number Of Completed Works: 38 if i count all my kiss prompts as separate fics (though they were posted together on ao3) jesus christ

Total Word Count: 99,717 apparently which is INSANE but pretty sure ao3 is counting the entire 20k of my downton abbey chaptered fic which i mainly wrote last year and just added ch 7 in jan so. probably closer to 80k. which is still deranged that’s an entire thesis. 

Fandoms I’ve Written In: this year it’s been downton abbey, schitt’s creek and 911

Looking Back, Did You Write More Fic Than You Thought You Would This Year, Less, Or About What You’d Expected? bro way fucking more lmao and way more than i probably should have considering this was my first year doing a phd

What’s Your Own Favourite Story Of The Year? probably either my buckley siblings fic there’s more than teenage wasteland OR handyman buck my beloved. though i am also inordinately proud of since mid-september as my first like. sustained explicit fic and y’all seem to like it too, so

Did You Take Any Writing Risks This Year? opening up to prompts! i’ve never done it before and was so scared i would let everyone down lmao and i still have so many unfilled in my inbox but i’m really happy with what i achieved with the ones i did write :’)

Do You Have Any Fanfic Or Profic Goals For The New Year? would love to stop trying to be a perfectionist when i write. like just get words on paper you fool they don’t have to be freaking shakespeare..... also would love to do any kind of long fic. i’m terrible with plot in geenral and can never commit to them and probably won’t next year either but i can dream

Most Popular Story Of The Year? kudos-wise it’s no morning fears, no mountains to climb, which coincidentally is the very first prompt i filled! (thank u @ashavahishta!)

Story Of Mine Most Under-Appreciated By The Universe, In My Opinion: my buckley sibs fic there’s more than teenage wasteland like please i am on my hands and knees here

Most Fun Story To Write: the handyman can (’cause he fixes it with love) for sure. so stupid and silly and horny and joyful!

Most Unintentionally Telling Story: oh my god like every story i wrote about patrick from schitt’s creek realising/embracing that he’s gay lmao. so if that’s something you’re into, gaining ground, and over the breakers. 

Biggest Disappointment: not finishing to the harbormaster lmao i will get to it one day!!! but i think i need to rewatch downton first to get back into the mindset, it’s very specific

Biggest Surprise: writing like 30 fics for this stupid weewoo show i watched on a whim in june/july................ like 30 fics in the last six months of the year who is she. i haven’t written this much since i was 15

My Favourite Part Of Fandom This Year: just how welcoming people are! i literally got into 911 in july, joined tumblr in august, and already yall are my best friends. it’s amazing. i’ve never been welcomed like this before, anywhere <3 <3 <3

not sure who’s already done this but tagging @ashavahishta @homerforsure @queerpanikkar @buckactuallys and @diazchristopher xo

[turtle-steverogers]

newsies as things in the boy’s dressing room pt. 3??

yeehaw more gay shit

-

albert: *walking on bench thing, stomping*

spot: what, you listening for a drug compartment ?

albert: OH speaking of drug compartment- *steps onto mirror station and takes a tile out of the roof. pulls out weed*

race: you- i- how-

-

race: *walks into dressing room* THEATRE? GAY? WHAT?

romeo: theatre gay? *walks over and grips race’s waist* *both lean in*

-

spot: IMA KICK YOUR ASS, FUCKIN COME AT ME

race: TICKLETICKLETICKLE *starts tickling spot*

spot: *screams*

-

finch: *turns off the lights* GO AT IT

jack: *screams*

spot: *shouts in surprise*

albert and race: *moan*

jack: DAMNIT YOU TWO

-

davey: you’re mean! i hate all of you, stop bullying me! it’s making me sweat

-

jack: *lying face down on the floor*

romeo, spot, and albert: *twerking over him*

race: heY SAVE SOME FOR ME

-

jack: what if the director walks in heeeere

spot: don’t turn the lights off, he’ll prolly think we’re all fucking!

race: he already thinks we’re all fucking!

-

crutchie: have you guys seen my flower? it’s in a pouch...i lost it

race: awwww

-

finch: rules for wrestling: no choking-

race: unless it’s kinky

-

*spot and albert on the floor wrestling*

everyone: *cheering*

kath: *walks in* hey race can you- what the fuck

albert: *screaming* YOU’RE MINE, CONLON

-

albert: yall jus’ wanna play Smash Bros

race: nah, i’d rather smash, bro ;)

-

romeo: did someone order a can of whoopass? *slaps jack’s ass really hard*

-

*the lights turn off as crutchie sneezes*

race: YOU’RE FUCKING MAGICAL WHAT THE-

-

sarah: *peeking her head in* what the fuck are y’all doin’?

race, about to slap albert across the face: GETTIN SAUCY

sarah, crossing to the bathroom: mkay be safe

-

jack: *drawing pears all over the whiteboard*

spot: jackie, are you...okay?

jack, sounding slightly deranged: pears...

[scottsumrners]

going into the tros tag and seeing someone genuinely say that rey is the abuser for attacking kylo and calling him a monster as if he's not space hitler who killed so many people... these people really believe that. people like that are really out there thinking stuff like this. scary times.

LITERALLY i saw that post and went “is it worms? is it worms for brains? is it what you have? is it worms for brains what you got there?”

LIKKKKKE how does someone watch these movies and think “oh if kylo had been the one to disfigure and attack rey, he would be eaten alive, instead of praised like she is 😔” like???????????????? bro he killed AN ENTIRE PLANET. the first thing he did in the fucking saga was murder a village full of people. HE KILLED HAN, LUKE AND LEIA. he tortured poe AND rey, maimed finn, and killed BILLIONS of people!!! and yall are STILL sucking his toes!!! this bitch could straight up stab rey through the chest and these deranged animals would STILL go “oh he is doing this to cope with his terrible sad very bad not good childhood 😔 which there is no indication of it being bad at all but i spent so long projecting it on him that i know for sure it is now 😔 anyway stan ted bundy 😍”

[sikereviewdotcom]

wilfred (2011) - season 1 ep1 “happiness” review

ok so today were reviewing fucking "wilfred" basically its a story about a depressed guy who tried to kill himself but he failed because hes a pushover in life and even suicide is mocking him yea jk actually his sis prescribed him placebo so the meds he used in his suicide attempt were useless yada yada

then he sees his neighbours (on who he tots have the hots for) dog as a man and hes like lol wtf why is there a furry standing in my yard? im not into dogplay dudette, please dont do this to me ah-

unfortunately for him the chick, on the next day asks to take care of her dog meanwhile because idk shit happens in her house? and she has to work? yea something like that so anyway he accepts because hes into her and out of it aswell more out of it than anything tho

our man, ryan is pretty disturbed but it happens anyway he has NO control over his life so why would he have control on  a dog fursuit wearing 40 yo man? yea exactly wouldnt make sense

wilfred enters his house and smoke a damn bong thats right, a very efficient way to introduce what kind of character were up against see, jason gann has the perfect face for such character looking all dirty in that suit with a big ass black painted dog nose you gotta think "that dawgs up to no good" and youd be damn right keep reading to discover why so basically nm happens in this episode if it isnt the setting of all the shit because well ryan has a lot of issues and its gonna get worse you cant believe this dog is gonna make things better for ryan not really hes just scamming the loser with cheap tricks and drugs

btw after (trying) to vape or w/e with wilfred, the man falls asleep, wakes up because his sis whos a bitch, remember her

its important to spot whos a bitch in each show ill be reviewing its pretty easy to balance whos the antagonist and who isnt although it often is much more complexe than that which is why im here making it all very easy and very interesting, aside from lost cases like the magic school bus i cant make that shit any worse nor TOO better like i have limited power my reviews are sike but some shows are just nah back to our whipped cream: ryans depression: he is jobless ok? so his sis is mad that he doesnt make the effort to come work and do what he has to also he used to be a lawyer btw because his father wanted him to be and then his father died and he lost his job and he hated being a lawyer so w/e but he also seemingly lost all reasons to live and redacted more than one suicide letter so im not sure what to think about it he was really eager to die yknow his sis couldnt care less tho its like "yo stop ruining my image im trynna get you a job in my hospital fuckface" yea see that why shes an inconsiderate bitch

so instead of going to work because of wilfred, ryan takes him for a while btw that vermin also tries to get elijah (the actor playing ryan is elijah wood obvs btw so this series already gets 5 points to begin with i dont make the rules) to throw a tennis ball and dont forget this ball ok? its gonna come back and start a whole drama its the beginning of our adventure a ball

next theyre in a restauration thing eating chips and drinking a beer together dog and his friend then the waitress comes and

happens the tiddies eating, it almost one fucking minute im sure we could all feel the embarassement of having your animal rubbing its balls and penis against your friend whos over for the nights leg in the middle of spring and youre just trying to get it back but wow the hormones are hitting it hard its like a cleaning robot vibrating on a grandma whos cardiacs chest and you trynna take that little asshole away but for some reason its rubbed in olive oil so not only does it reeks of olive, its also slippery as heck and you can see your grandma spasmming on her soon-to-be deathbed, she has spasms for god sake no the robot no someone stop it from stimulating the old ladys torso ah shit marguerite died after drowning in her drooling 

not even died of an heart attack nah, it was such a messy death she suffered so much no one could do anything its like the robot was sentient yknow and well same goes for wilfred hes making it on purpose but uses the excuse : he likes the boobs it nothing personal, ryan

w/e they leave after paying (not for the side tits tho, it was a freebie for dogs) after that shit happens (i wont spoil you EVERYTHING, im just painting a pic here ok?) at this point you could wonder "is wilfred being a dick on purpose or its just about said instincts? how much percentage of his behavior is actually dog and how much is ryans mind (the guy is deranged  there is no denying that but how much? )) whats sure is that his owner likes her dog vm and hes maining that chick

good for him? but it also happens that before that, elijah just threw the ball above the gate and into his much less friendly neighbour because he was sick of the dog asking to throw it and so yea, there is a tension between ryan and wilfred not any kind of tension, exactly the kind of elija x reader fanfic i wanted to read except pov: im a canine furry and i smoke weed on a daily basis and im a jackass

theyre almost breaking up someone does something about it i was seriously getting into it wow oh no fuck look at me tearing one or two here

rip their new born bromance? or... is it all there is to it? well see no obviously its the problem we were waiting for because when our fella enters back home and idk whatever else happens its night and his sister comes home and she goes all "lol actually i gave you placebo itd be dangerous otherwise you numbfuck" but shes quickly muted once our man notices his dog friend in his yard... its time for a reunion a heart to heart conversation to proceed so he has to ditch his sis which he casually does bros before hoes

its again about the ball which HE WILL go and fetch by passing over the fence to get in neighbours yard but damn it cant be just that? wouldnt it make a lame crappy story? we need some actions, we got the tits, the beer, no job, delinquency has no limit so fuck it says the dog as he smashes the window and enters the bikers house because he SMELLS (like he smells the shit streaks you have on your pants) the weed, ryan is like "no fuck bro no shit fuck ah-" then sees the damn weed which they steal ok? hes really a pushover he has not got the right idea of stopping being one because thats what his new friends supposed to be here for yknow trynna get his loser into a winner, that lil camper gotta level up his game, go get into the business of life barging in kicking the door to enter, no shame nor hesitation were trying to make him STEP UP for HIMSELF but guess what? ill tell you later or itd be a spoil in a spoil surely a bad paradoxal medium w/e business going on blablabla theyre up to no good thats for sure as sure as how much ryans actually enjoy this the mans into this pee slash poop affair:

spoiler alert: he does it and

im just quoting him here : he never felt more alive nor glad to be so i guess thats whats life about shitting in peoples affair, stealing weed plants and quitting your job on your first day (you havent showed up tho so w/e you never really worked in that place no one knows you its all good you can get back in that place looking innocent and smiling with your broken ribs "yea nah i never had a job here and ditched yall huh" thats foxy of him kinda but not really since he had no intention back then to do anything for himself it was all strings pulled by a fucking dog hilarious really im having a kick haha no

so what next? theyre best friends? man and dog, a wonderful friendship happens he has no more family to support him but HE HAS A DOG guys he was so into it im feeling sorry for this hobot-to-be schizophrenic man

i wont spoil you but trust me when i say not to trust a furry who eats tits on your first date

in conclusion: it was a pretty decent first episode ill update my final thoughts on the first season once im done watching it but so far its recommandable the camera work is pretty cool like its not just thoughtless filming we actually have a nice feel to it, the setting of the series is esthetically pleasing you get nice colors and it aint boring, its not like a FRIENDS episode yknow? dawg i dislike how boring it looks filming wise for start but damn i aint reviewing FRIENDS rn so next, the comedy? after all its a comedy genre series not a drama, idk if id review an actual depressive show on here thatd bum the vibe out ok? i know im making all my revs awesome w/e it is that i choose to rate and comment but still im serving you a plate of my finest sheez not any fizzle in the mizzle ok?

anyway yea the humor aint bad, i havent laughed my ass of but i did find it amusing to watch the jokes may actually kick in in the second episode ill have to update this rev alright? just hang on to your balls peeps this fam will serve in due time

rating: 7,5/10 scenery/camera work 7/10 comedy 8/10 interest/entertaining points total: 7,5/10 for a first episode is fine enough to be recommanded, like a "give it a chance" sorta case yknow isnt the most hilarious show youll watch but its fine especially if youre into homoromantic tension between a furry and elijah wood 

jk 

tg, out