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aetherose · 19 days

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Layla's Transcendence

Pain.

Unending, searing pain that overwhelmed her sensors, but for fear of suffering M.I.N.D. deviation and falling to the Virus sooner, she did not dare turn off her pain receptors.

Is this what all Corrupted go through in the process of losing themselves to the Virus? Or was it her persistence to live what made it all the worse for her? Or perhaps, this was just the result of her wounds.

It wasn't the first time she'd experienced infection from the Punishing Virus. As a human, it was the reason she had been dying, and had to be taken by Babylonia to become a Construct to save her life. Yet, that felt tame in comparison to now.

Likely because she was becoming Corrupted, and she knew it. That's why she had fled to the edge of Kowloong now. She was afraid of the possibility of becoming a Corrupted, but she was even more terrified of hurting her friends. Liv, Lee, the Commandant...Lucia, if she still lives.

(No, she has to survive. She has to. She will. Right...?)

How ridiculous is that? She wants to protect her friends from herself, but she doesn't dare step near any of the other squads to beg them to end her life. Because she's scared of death. But becoming a Corrupted is a worse fate than death, isn't it?

Yet, here she was, inching her way forward through sheer will to survive, even knowing her time was limited.

It's so stupid. She's always been stupid, though. She's a foolish girl who's killed, maimed, stolen, and more to survive, in spite of knowing how little right she really has.

And now because she's afraid of death, she is trying to fight off Corruption rather than ask for a quicker, much better end to her misery that'd guarantee she'd hurt no one.

Death is a fate she deserves, she knows it, yet she runs from it. Perhaps becoming a Corrupted is a more fitting end, all things considered, however.

It doesn't matter now. She's so far from the main scene of the ongoing fight in Kowloong she doubts there's a soul around now to end her even if she wanted it. And she's not sure she has enough time left to inch her way back to find someone.

Her fate is sealed, but she still persists.

She keeps limping forward. It's a wonder she can even walk, frankly, even if just barely in her current state. Her legs suffered the most when she found herself assaulted by Corrupted. Clawing all over her, leaving her now with faint electric sparks occasionally flickering from the now-visible machinery beneath the synthetic skin due to her wounds.

But her whole body is a wreck, not just her legs. Crimson vital fluid covers her all over, leaking from her wounds and seeping into her clothes, and she leaves a faint trail of vital fluid in her wake. Her sword was missing half its blade now, but she still clung to it for dear life. She knows if anything attacked her right now, she'd likely stand no chance, and yet here she was, gripping onto it.

It was the sword she'd been using for years now. A sword she'd taken so many lives with. Corrupted, humans, Mechanoids, and Constructs alike. None were spared, all were executed by Babylonia's orders, or were felled for her own survival.

The utter guilt she'd felt for it had threatened to drown her on numerous occasions. And in her dying state, it slithered back from where it always lingered in the back of her mind to the forefront.

Guilt. They say that's the emotion one must have if one wishes to redeem themself for their sins. But with how many sins she carries with her every second of every hour of every day of her now eternal life as a Construct, can you say she is redeemable?

Every life was an individual. No matter how many times she says she's sorry and no matter why she took that life, she still took it. It doesn't matter if she had to for survival, or under orders, or for war, or whatever else. She took so many lives, and ruined many others.

She is not the only one who suffers in this world. So many others suffer like her. She's seen it with her own eyes so many times. She is just another soul crushed under the ever-turning wheel that continues beyond her to crush thousands more as the apocalypse rages on.

('Isn't it detestable? The way that humans brought this onto themselves, and continue to hurt their own kind because of it?')

Layla freezes as she hears that voice in her M.I.N.D. She at first looks around her, to try to find a person nearby who spoke, but she knows, in truth, there is no one at all nearby on the edge of this ancient, deserted city.

Is she hearing things now? Is this also what Corrupted go through?

('No, only a handful even get to hear this voice.') It states simply, seemingly a little amused at her confusion. ('Your will to persist is admirable, you see. But you cling to things as pointless as compassion. You find a way to feel sympathy for so many around you, and then beat yourself up about what you have to do to live.')

'Because they've suffered just like I have. Because they don't deserve what I do to them. I'm...an awful person.' She answers within her M.I.N.D. to the voice, and it seems to click its tongue.

('Oh, how very cute. But you know deep down they don't deserve it. Humans aren't beings to sympathize with. They're the ones who put you into this position in the first place out of their own senseless hatred. Don't you remember your mother?')

Layla's mother...she remembers her very well. Complicated emotions fill Layla as she finds herself leaning against a nearby wall, as memories filled her M.I.N.D.

('Don't you remember how much you tried to earn her love? The way she always looked at you, a small child, with contempt every time? All because of reasons you couldn't, and still don't fully understand. And not even just her, but your whole family looked at you the same way.')

She remembers it like it was yesterday. Each day before she was 11 years old, she would always go up to her mother and try to talk to her through pen and paper, ever since she learned to write. Each time, her mother would only briefly glance at it, before telling her to leave her alone. Sometimes she hit her if Layla persisted further.

Layla's relatives only humored her presence to ask her to do things for them, before shooing her away. Or worse, they too looked at her with hatred and refused to let her near them.

Even her younger cousins avoided her because of their parents' warnings. She held onto hope for so long, in spite of how painful it was. How lonely it was.

But in the end, she soon snapped, and burned her estate and family to the ground when she was 11, out of a childish wish for the pain to just end.

('Do you regret it?') The voice asked as the memory came to mind, and she hesitates to answer. The voice speaks before she can think of any response.

('Don't regret it. They deserved it, Layla. They deserved it. Humans are all the same. All because they thought you a defective child, they never gave you love or kindness, and used you for their own ends. You should hate them.') Yet why doesn't she? Why doesn't she fully hate them?

...That's right. Because some part of her still wonders if there's something truly that twisted and ugly in her, that made them not love her. Maybe she was defective in a way she couldn't understand.

('You aren't. No, perhaps the defective ones are in fact humans themselves. Think about it. Look back on all your memories after that fire you caused. How many times have you had to suck up to those with power to live? How many other times have you begged for food or shelter and been denied? How many times have you had to fight off those who tried to steal your supplies? How many times have you been used and been betrayed by those who did accept your request for help?')

Layla grits her teeth at the voice's words. 'But I was just as bad.'

('They were the ones who hurt you first.')

'But that doesn't make me any better.'

('You just wanted to survive.')

'So did they.'

('But how can you be sure they were truly people just as hurt by the world as you are? And even then...why should you care? Humans only worsen this world. They are a pestilence. They hurt you. They've hurt each other. All for power, or even pettiness, spite...and you know they treat Constructs even worse. Former humans who became machines to help save the world, treated as nothing more than tools...like yourself. And even they are not all pure-hearted, for they came from humans, even if they are now machines.') Layla goes silent, and the voice merely continues on.

('You could change this world, if only you accept the truth, and discard that compassion of yours. You could make a world that would accept you, you who they used, betrayed, and threw out like trash. Embrace your hatred, and turn it into the strength to destroy and remake this world.')

For a moment, for just a small moment, Layla thinks about it. Oh, wouldn't it be wonderful, to embrace her anger and hate, to destroy and remake this world that hurt her so badly? To make a world that'd accept her, a better world for everyone, without the lying, hypocritical humans that only hurt this world worse within it?

It'd be so easy to let go. It'd be so, so easy, to take that step and let herself fall into the depths of enmity. Some part of her wants to. The hurt, resentful child that burned down her home and family in her perhaps would accept it. That child remains in her heart, and now wants her to accept this voice's offer.

But then, more memories comes to her M.I.N.D.

Several years ago, when Layla was still in training after becoming a Construct, she'd already become an outcast amongst Babylonia. She struggled to speak in spite of now having a functioning voice module (even now she struggles, and prefers sign language and handwriting). She was the weird mute girl; an easy target for harassment.

Other Construct trainees would take advantage of the fact she struggled to talk back and ganged up, saying cruel words, one day, escalated to become physical, because no one was looking, and she couldn't cry out for help.

Layla had cowered in the corner and braced herself for what was about to come, but instead, heard the sounds of her tormentors themselves crying out in pain. And before she knew it, they were all on the ground, groaning and moaning in agony.

A woman with red eyes and black hair stood over them, gaze piercing as the Constructs looked up at her. They soon fled, and the woman reached out her hand and helped Layla up, confirmed she was alright, and then simply walked off.

It was the first time anyone had bothered to help Layla, without asking anything in return. Let alone, Layla quickly realized the one who helped her was Lucia, the Captain of Gray Raven, an elite squad highly admired by many. Why would someone like that help Layla and then ask for nothing in return? Layla went up to ask her later, and all she had to say on the matter was simply...

"What would I need from you?"

It left Layla dumbfounded. Lucia even knew her name beforehand, and before either of them knew it, they ended up becoming fast friends. Best friends, in fact. And for Layla, Lucia was her very first friend. Layla would later be assigned to Purifying Force, and became one of Nikola's personal practical attack dogs, but despite her displeasure at her position, how she resented Babylonia, she found Lucia made it all so much more bearable.

And then Gray Raven was wiped out, and Lucia Recalled, sustaining memory loss in the process. And for a time, Layla was bereaved. Because she knew the Lucia in front of her...wasn't just Lucia with memory loss.

No, she had a feeling...she was a whole other Lucia in the first place. Not like she could confirm anything; Babylonia made it difficult even for Purifying Force to get their hands on such classified files.

Regardless, Layla still mourned the Lucia she lost, whether it was a whole other one, or the old self of the current one. But then she was moved to the new Gray Raven, and found herself growing close to Lucia again.

And then this battle in Kowloong began, and it turned out Layla was right, and that...Alpha of the Ascendants was the original Lucia. But how? Why would she become this? She was so...different now, and she hated the other Lucia so much too, for being a clone.

But...she was still Lucia, too.

Both of them were. Both of them were kind to her. And in Babylonia, thanks to them, she started to open herself more to others. She made several friends. She can't simply ignore the good people she's met. She resents this world, and a level of misanthropy still exists in her.

But she cannot simply accept this voice's proposal, that asked her to embrace a hatred of all humans, of this whole world, and tear it all down to remake it anew, when this world wasn't black and white in such a way. There was bad...a lot of bad...but then, there was also...so much good.

Like Lucia. Like Alpha. Like Liv. Like Lee. Like Commandant.

She found her knees were about to give out as she came to this conclusion, and the pain she'd started growing able to ignore seemed to suddenly increase now, but she still persisted, as she responded to the voice in her M.I.N.D.

'...I will have to reject your offer. This world...is a flawed place, yes. But...I can't just ignore how many good people I've met here.'

The voice seemed slightly taken aback by her answer...and then started to become hostile. ('If you don't accept my offer, you will cease to be yourself, and become a Corrupted.')

'...But if I accept your offer, I will have to tear asunder this whole world. You...just want to make me a puppet of destruction. You just want to use me...like all the others, don't you?'

('No, I'm offering you the chance to make a world where no one is used again. I'm offering you power. To save your life.')

'...I know manipulation when I hear it. I can't believe I almost accepted your offer...'

('You'll regret this choice as you lose all sense of who you are and become a mindless monster.')

'...I'd rather that than to become a real monster. Real monsters aren't the mindless ones...it's the ones who have minds and still do what they do with no remorse, no restraint, without necessity...'

The voice doesn't respond. Layla is alone within her own M.I.N.D. again. She finds her knees at last give out, and she collapses onto the ground, broken sword falling from her hand as warnings fill her ears.

The Punishing Virus Corruption she's suffering is at critical levels. Soon, she won't be herself anymore. It's a practical miracle she's survived this long through sheer force of will.

Countless thoughts race through her mind. Some part of her does regret rejecting the voice's offer. But at the same time, another part of her doesn't.

Maybe it's arrogance leading her to think she has even a chance of success at this, but she won't just give up and accept her fate. No...she can't die here. Lucia...Alpha...she wants to reunite with them both. She wants to make sure Lucia is alright. And she wants to understand why Alpha became this way.

Layla begins to crawl forward without any thought. Where is she going? She's not sure. No, she's not really trying to reach any destination. Even as her body screams at her in pain, she does this anyways, as an act of defiance against her fate.

She won't turn into a Corrupted. She will survive. She crawls, and crawls, and crawls. She doesn't make it very far with each little push forward. But she keeps crawling.

Warning sounds blare even more at the immensity of the Viral Corruption she's facing, but she pays it no mind. She simply keeps crawling.

She won't die.

She won't become a Corrupted.

She'll see Lucia again.

She'll see Alpha again.

She'll see Liv again.

She'll see Lee again.

She'll see the Commandant again.

She'll live.

By god, she'll live.

And everything goes dark.

"...Layla?"

A familiar voice calls out.

"...Lu...cia?"

No...was that Lucia? Or was it...

She doesn't get the time to finish that thought.

Her body completely shuts down.

Later, in Babylonia...

"We can't find any trace of her. I'm sorry. At this point, it's safe to assume...she's probably dead." Celica hands the sword with a half broken blade to Lucia, the rest of Gray Raven behind her with grieved expressions, all whilst marking down on a casualty report...

'Layla Ceridwen - MIA, assumed KIA in the Battle of Kowloong.'

Afterward, in the Ascendants' base...

"...by all accounts, she shouldn't be alive. But she still lives, by the skin of her teeth...she isn't connected to the Ascension Network either...but she's still..."

A soft voice fills her ears, though it's hard to hear. But she makes out those words, in spite of how awful she feels. She can't move, at first. But after a few moments, she slowly can sit up, prompting the soft voice to gasp.

"...Sis, come and see. She's awake at last."

When she opens her eyes, she sees a dreamlike girl, who appeared just like a dazzling white light...

And a woman in red beside her, rugged and enigmatic looking.

"...Alpha?"

#trigger warnings may apply #im just not sure which ones #&& drabbles / a nostalgia for innocence #&& v. pgr / reclaim the world for humanity #&& c. layla / silent nightingale #&& v. older layla / the nightingale’s metamorphosis #stalwartembers #because the lucia and alpha mentioned here are specifically his #i'd tag luna but eh dont think i should as she only shows up briefly at the end #takes place directly after the events of PGR's Chapter 12 #click the link for the music to vibe to whilst reading :)#yes i wrote a 3k word drabble in like 3 or so hours almost nonstop on a whim what of it

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