#Yes Dave we know it rhymes

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

Something something,poetry, it rhymes, etc.

[casp1an-sea]

RANDOM THOUGHTS ON STAR WARS LEGENDS

These are just my opinions your welcome to have different ones

Han and Leia waiting to get married makes total sense! At the end of return of the Jedi the only time they’ve spent as a couple is when their relationship started in ESB and its continuation in ROJ most of which they were in battle. Yes Leia has been thinking about him for about a year now but she hasn’t been able to get closer to him in that time, and for Han it’s like not time has passed at all. Plus there’s still a fucking War going on that they very much are invoked in. Marriage is not on their minds, especially Leia’s. (Plus all the traumatic shit they have to process)

This is a message to both legends and canon LUKE IS GAY come on now 🥲

Mara was cool until she married Luke then the writers kind of screwed up her character

Han’s backstory WTF (it’s so sad but so good)

Can we get more Han and Lando buddy cop adventures?

I FUCKING LOVE CORAN HORN

Okay but those stormtroopers from Choices of One feel like The Bad Batch’s emo cousins

THRAWN IS SUCH A NEAT VILLIAN

I THINK NUSO ESVA IS NONBINARY. WHY? fanart

I think it’s rly funny that C-3PO gets given to Han

I love Anakin so much why did he have to die???? Also please Leia why did you insist on that name. Don’t get me wrong I love it but the pressure you put on this poor child. Han why’d you give in you idiot?

HAN IS SUCH A DAD

WHY ARE THEY LEAVING A DEPRESSED ALCOHOLIC HOME ALONE WITH C3PO AND A LIST OF BARS?????

I feel so bad for Han in courtship of Princess Leia. Should I?

Okay but let’s be clear Leia definitely cheated on Han with Isolder. Idc what she thinks that was, it was cheating.

I see a common theme of Leia being rly untrustworthy of Han until they get married. To like an unhealthy degree. What is this guys? I promise he’s not a bad dude.

remember that time where Luke made a submarine out of a dead creatures stomach skin? Yep I do.

lando’s mining facilities getting destroyed is such a funny gag

Did you notice Isolder’s daughter marries Han and Leia’s son? It’s like poetry it rhymes.

WHY IS BOBA FETT STILL HERE????

I love paradise snare but to me the hutt gambit was a dumbstruck fire

HUGE PET PEVE I HAVE WITH TATOINE GHOST! (Still love the book though) Forgiving and forgetting is not always the answer. Han does not need to forgive the republic. LEIA DOES NOT NEED TO FORGIVE VADER. Nor would Han push her to do so and he certainly would not condone the slaughter of tuskins because “he was a boy with a dead mother”. Well wouldn’t you know Han you’re a boy with a dead mother and you didn’t commit genocide. You have even less reason to forgive Vader than the twins. I block this out it was a bad writing choice.

HAN HAD A CHILD WITH BRIA???? I know when, but WHERE ARE THEY?! google was no help

“Must be nice to have a grandmother” LMAO HAN YOU OKAY BUDDY?

Is it bad of me to say I prefer the og force witches/dathomirians/dathomir/nightsisters to the canon ones?

WHY DOES FORCE LIGHTNIHNG NEVER ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING

LUUKE SKYWALKER? They’re so goated for that. OKAY BUT DID DAVE FILLONI READ THE REBEL FORCE SERIES? BRAINWASHED abducted children with no memory of their lives and family, solely devoted ASSASSINS to an ECCENTRIC IMPERIAL WITH A SUPERIORITY COMPLEX who wants favor with the emperor. And these assassins are called X-1, X-2, X-3, X-4, X-5, X-6, and X-7. This is why it should have been tech.

I thought Chewie’s death was impactful and I didn’t hate it

I like it better that Han and Leia didn’t divorce

I like that Han is a male wife and I love how close his children are to him. It makes sense that Leia would be the working one.

not them have a floor to ceiling length tapestry of Leia in a their house. That would scare the shit out of me at night.

I like that Leia is a senator and not a general. Okay hear me out. Leia is trained in diplomacy as much as she is in combat. She was a senator before she was a rebel. And she has always been very much involved in matters of state and would want to feel like she was actively doing something to keep the republic in check. The rebellion was not just a war to her it was making the Galaxy a better place that doesn’t end when the war for her so the natural next step would be a government position. Granted she still acts as a general if need be and goes far beyond her job description countless times.

THE NEW JEDI ORDER SERIES IS FUCKING CRAZY MAN

Can someone fo a demo of the song C-3Po wrote about Han?

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 02/03/2024 (SZA, Central Cee, Pozer)

Beyoncé may have the #1 for a second week with “TEXAS HOLD ‘EM” but the real winners on this UK Singles Chart are songs benefiting from songs above them plundering, partly thanks to everyone’s favourite arbitrary rule, Accelerated Chart Ratio (ACR). I am never explaining that rule, look it up, but you’d think maybe we’d get a surge of new songs, right? No, it’s a pretty minimal week, and I’m not complaining. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS!

Rundown

As always, we start with our notable dropouts, songs exiting the UK Top 75 - which is what I cover - after five weeks in the region or a peak in the top 40, and we have… unless I’m missing something, surprisingly little of note here? We bid farewell to “BACK TO ME” by Hitler, Goebbels and an uncredited Freddie Gibbs, “Ophelia” by The Lumineers, “Toxic” by Songer (thank God), “Sprinter” by Dave and Central Cee and of course, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” but that’ll be back soon enough.

Okay, so as for returns, we just get Ye’s “Runaway” featuring Pusha T back at #48, but our notable gains are where this week gets actually interesting, because we actually have quite a few, particularly in the top 40, thanks to ACR as mentioned but also potentially some TikTok-related industry politics that probably act in parallel with each other, but we start with “Thank You (Not So Bad)” by way too many brain cells at #68, “Soaked” by Shy Smith at #51, “vampire” by Olivia Rodrigo at #44 and “Evergreen” by Richy Mitch & the Coal Miners at #41. Then the top 40, where all Hell breaks loose, though most of these songs are actually pretty good: “Birds in the Sky” by NewEra at #40, “Made for Me” by Muni Long at #37, “Never be Alone” by Becky Hill and Sonny Fodera at #35, “Whatever She Wants” by Bryson Tiller of all people at #31 (and yes, I think I get it now), “On My Love” by Zara Larsson and David Guetta at #28, “Scared to Start” by Michael Marcagi at #22, “Nothing Matters” by The Last Dinner Party at #16, “Lovers in a Past Life” by Calvin Harris and Rag’n’Bone Man at #13, and finally - unfortunately - we have “CARNIVAL” by Adolf Hitler and Ty Dolla $ign featuring Playboi Carti at #9. Yes, it’s Rich the Kid’s first top 10 hit and no, you should not care.

Our top five should sound pretty normal, apart from a new entry into the top 10 at #5 as Djo gets his first with “End of Beginning”. I guess Steve Lacy can be a one-hit wonder twice. Aside from that, well, it’s all pretty expected: “Stick Season” by Noah Kahan at #4, “Beautiful Things” by Benson Boone at #3, “Lose Control” by Teddy Swims at #2 and Bey at #1. I like how this top five is a herd of angsty indie rock-adjacent white dudes led by the queen of the hive.

NEW ARRIVALS

#61 - “Love On” - Selena Gomez

Produced by The Monsters & Strangerz and Isaiah Tejada

Man, one of the few times that a mainstream artist releases a well-received and popular album that I think is absolutely brilliant, if not perfect, and none of it charts in the top 75. I’m not revealing who that is, if you know, you know. No worries, guys, we have Selena Gomez instead! God… to be honest, I like to give Selena the benefit of the doubt more than often, and I actually really like this song for its quirks as I’ll discuss later, but it’s pretty funny that this song starts with the French language only for all of that effortlessly seductive aura to be replaced with “Wait ‘til I get my love on”. What? In fact, this song is incredibly clunky in its sexiness or lack thereof, and if you think it’s to fit an already constructed rhyme or construction… why does it sound this awkward and almost improvised? “Screaming yes in quotations”, “night shift but with all the perks” (or Percs?), “why are we conversating over this steak tartare”? Yes, Julia Michaels, I knew you wrote this song before I checked the credits, you didn’t need to make it too obvious. Now I actually love this song, it’s so artfully stupid in execution: Selena sounds Auto-Tuned to Hell as always but it doesn’t grant her any rhythm with that robotic hook slipping over itself, as if the verses don’t embarrass her enough: Isaiah, listen, why leave her only with the clipping bassline and add all those accentuative vocal effects? It’s almost cruelty. She doesn’t even sound like herself on the strained falsetto pre-chorus, especially not those backing vocals which you could easily convince me are Toro y Moi of all people, and the chorus promising that you should just wait until she has her love on before she loves on you, which is… what? Asexuals could write better songs about intimacy, but in all its goofiness, the song ends up winning me over on pure silliness. The production has a straightforward groove but a lovely disco swell to the strings, detailed vocal layering and those phased synths acting as stabs that make Selena’s rhythmic bruising in the chorus sound almost normal are the icing on top. This is an adorable little failure of a song, I kind of admire it. Push it in the same category as “Feather” by Sabrina Carpenter in being loveable nu-disco messes.

#49 - “Showtime” - Catfish and the Bottlemen

Produced by Dave Sardy and Ryan McCann

It’s been a five-year hiatus, but indie rock band Catfish and the Bottlemen are back to music, though with some departures and line-up changes, and oddly enough, all of that ties into the fittingly titled comeback single, “Showtime”. Yes, this song is about the strains of touring and life on the road as part of a band, but how that’s all ultimately worth it for how gratifying it is to make an impact on listeners and be performing to audiences, as well as being with the band members he loves to record and perform with. I love the breakneck pace of the bass and post-punk rhythm of the verses and pre-choruses with that soaring guitar lick, and I think that the lead singer Mr. McCann (of no relation to that one) has a solid control of his distorted nasal tone until that disappointing chorus comes in which doesn’t feel nearly as ambitious or arena-ready as it wants to be, mostly because McCann is mumbling and it halts the momentum of the entire song. Also, it starts really shoddy lyrically, it’s hard to sound profound when half of your chorus is moaning “fuck that shit, get on this”. It does end up contextualising itself better on repetitions, mostly because of the warm finger-snaps in the bridge that eventually evolve into a heartland rolick that gives the final chorus space to breathe in a muddy mix… then seems to never fully get its power back, replacing it with a gross basic synth that parades around a befuddled Bottlemen, until eventually the song is just a lo-fi piano recording that doesn’t feel like it’s entirely warranted its inclusion, though it wraps up the narrative nicely as he comes back home after touring. I really like the sentiment of this song and parts of what it’s going for but the chorus, which really makes or break an anthemic song like this, just loses me, which is really disappointing as the rest of the song focuses entirely on building up to it. I’m sure it’ll be a killer live, but that’s also with the caveat that when performing live, they can mess with the structure, the lyrics and the performance, as well as most importantly for this one, the mix… so I don’t think this song will ever sound as good on record as it could do at a festival, which considering the song’s content, is kind of beautiful.

#29 - “Kitchen Stove” - Pozer

Produced by Young Madz

It’s pretty weird that this is not the first time in recent memory that I’ve never heard of the lead rapper on a track but have seen a dozen or so credits for his producer. Unlike Rich Amiri, this is far from rage however, it’s a drill track, of course, with Young Madz being a New York producer who’s worked with Fivio Foreign, the 41 collective and sadly, Lil Mabu, as well as having produced a previously charting track from Russ Millions. Pozer, on the other hand, has no other songs, with this being a breakout track on TikTok as well as his debut single… that’s being distributed by Sony. Yeah, slick one there. To fully understand this, we need to look back two years for another fluke viral hit, “snowfall” by Øneheart and reidenshi, a Russian space ambient track with over 500 million streams on Spotify - yes, really. It debuted nearly exactly a year after release and eventually peaked at #57 in 2023 whilst Miley Cyrus’ “Flowers” was #1. Øneheart’s follow-up was another ambient track, “this feeling”, which is not nearly as successful and also not as good, mostly because it lacks as sticky of a lead as “snowfall” and falls more into a vaporwave-esque filter of hopelessness which resonates a bit less. It does sound ripe for sampling though, especially that tiny vocal lead at the tail-end, so I guess it makes sense that for a manufactured viral hit, Madz took a sped-up version of the Russian ambient song and put it over some of the most rote, typical Jersey drill percussion possible. He doesn’t do much chopping, mostly because you don’t need to - like I said, that vocal sample would be perfect under Jersey drill, and Madz had the exact same idea, I suppose. Pozer, despite the name, isn’t exactly a bad rapper, his flow is pretty typical but solid and his second verse goes into more introspective and paranoid territory, pretty befitting of the haunting production… my problem is his delivery and the way he’s mixed: he just sounds too obvious. For production as potentially eerie as this, the production needs to be way more textured and dynamic, and Pozer himself needs to be quieter in the mix - as do the bed squeaks. This feels like a perfect lay-up of an idea that would make both a great song and an easy hit just fumbled in execution. It’s still a functional song for sure, but it doesn’t hit the way it absolutely could have.

#18 - “I Will” - Central Cee

Produced by John Alexis and LIOHN

Cench has another single out as he seems to drip-feed these - if he keeps them all on the record, that debut studio album will be more like a greatest hits compilation. As for this new one… first of all, I need this guy to step away from women: he’s awkward, condescending, and has strange fixations on this girl’s mother, how “young” she makes her feel, as well as just the extents of the capabilities of his penis… as well as a song-long hyperfixation on her shaving her privates. Over an Ed Sheeran-sounding beat? The acoustic guitars don’t mesh with the distant vocal loops, his vocal mix sounds horrifically unprofessional as does his complete lack of melodic understanding or personality when trying to sing on the chorus. You’d think he’d try and pick up the rapping to make up for it but he sounds half-dead. Speaking of Ed Sheeran, even he raps better than this - and yes, that includes about sex and relationships. There’s so little in the beat to distract from Cench’s terrible performance and content, so this is just an embarrassing display of everything that he cannot do properly. The second top comment on Genius, so you know, the fans, is asking what the Hell this is, and I can’t say I disagree with the fans in this case. I know you love Drake, it doesn’t mean you have to be him.

#15 - “Saturn” - SZA

Produced by Carter Lang, Rob Bisel, Solomonophonic and Monsune

SZA’s finally released a highly-anticipated song she performed at the GRAMMYs that may be connected to some form of SOS reissue and… oh, this interpolates one of my absolute favourite albums of all time. The opening track to Canadian composer Mort Garson’s peaceful, dynamic and forward-thinking 1976 electronic album Mother Earth’s Plantasia may not be iconic to everyone, but I still get goosebumps listening to it and that’s even outside of its greater context where this is the opening suite to a themed, arguably conceptual record acting as a love letter to two different pets of the musician: the myriad of plants his wife grew in the home, and his admired Moog synthesizer that he composed the entire album on. Sadly, Garson passed in 2008, before the record could gain its underground cult following amongst music fans, and before its official reissue in 2019 which particularly benefits the opening track, which has since been used in advertisements and now ends up interpolated on SZA’s new single, which released as a surprise to her fans and feels like a pretty spiritual return to some of the sounds explored on CTRL, using the sprinkling nostalgic synths of “Plantasia” as a backing for her lamenting of how dull and monotonous life on Earth can be. It’s actually fascinating to use that sample considering how celebratory I’ve always seen Garson’s album of both the natural world and human  influence or appreciation of it, but definitely not a bad one as Lang, Bisel and co. add their own cascading synths to the dejected drum mix and warm guitars that flow this song swiftly into psychedelic territory, especially on the gorgeously harmonic chorus. My favourite moment may be the pre-chorus though, where SZA’s vocal layering filters into the static of both itself and the incessant hi-hat wearing itself out over time. It’s pure escapism for sure, much like a lot of this week, really, but it’s damn effective escapism, pulling you into this forest that, despite my general issue with fade-outs, makes sense to drift out of existence. The song’s about wanting to live on Saturn, I can just imagine that as the song fades out, we pan away from SZA and the camera focuses on the scarce night sky peppered with stars. If a song ever justifies its cop-out ending, then it’s doing something really right.

Conclusion

Yeah, the girlies really won this episode, didn’t they? SZA takes Best of the Week away easily with “Saturn” but “Love On” by Selena Gomez does take the Honourable Mention. As for the Dishonourable Mention, I think Pozer just frustrates me with “Kitchen Stove” whilst Central Cee handedly has the Worst of the Week because Jesus Christ, “I Will” is almost irredeemable on pretty much all fronts. As for what’s new on the horizon in the coming weeks, I’m unsure, but it will be interesting what new stuff arises as a result of the ACR clearout this week. For now, thank you for reading, and I’ll see you next week!

[landofspaceandrainbows]

Thanks to @flashfictionfridayofficial for the prompt!

~

Prompt is a continuation from the previous one Here

Contains slight bits of nsfw below the read more

~

John wasted no time securing his friend's hand to the coat hook high on the wall, and making his other preparations. There was a glow in his… in it's eyes, making them nearly unrecognizeable.

Dave felt the catch of the tie around his wrist, the chill line of his sunglasses hooked carefully in to his shirt, the soft silk scarf where his sunglasses usually sat - that was black too, nice, appropriate.

"What do we say now?" asked John.

Yes sir… yes ma'a?,… Yes your great honor, now presiding."

"Hmmmmmm…. I thought you were supposed to be 'not a comedian?' "

"My rhymes and my flow is serious, and you know it."

He felt a hand on him, sliding under his shirt, and then more, and more, sliding up his thighs, slipping under his shirt, and all his clothes, from refreshingly cool to biting cold. It felt like the jolt at the beginning of falling, or going from sleeping to waking.Dave felt the rhythm there and pulled the heat up from the core of his body, filled his mind with the rhythm that could not be denied. And drew out John's gasp as he leaned up into a kiss.

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Welcome to Too Much Information Tuesday!

In Texas, you can’t own more than six dildos.

Allodoxaphobia is the fear of opinions.

A study has confirmed that British people have the world's sexiest accents.

It takes, on average, 1.71 days for a Lego head to pass through your digestive system.

Not once in the Humpty Dumpty nursery rhyme does it mention that he’s an egg.

Adults buying toys for themselves are responsible for 25% of all toy sales.

In 2008, a man in Ohio was arrested for having sex with a picnic table.

Psychopaths are only capable of perceiving the positive consequences of their actions as opposed to any negative ones.

Beaver College, Pennsylvania, changed its name to Arcadia in 2001 because anti-porn filters blocked access to the school's website.

In 2018, 50 Cent purchased 200 tickets to a Ja Rule concert and left the seats empty, just so it would look like nobody was there.

A 10 year old mattress weighs double its original weight. Mould, skin cells, dandruff and sweat are the biggest reasons for this.

Robert Downey Jr was once arrested after he was caught driving naked in his Porsche with cocaine, heroin, and a .357 magnum.

The iPhone is the second highest selling product of all time, behind the Rubik's Cube.

Studies show that Wednesday is the best day of the week to go out on a first date.

In 1994, L.A. police arrested a man for dressing up as the Grim Reaper and standing outside the windows of old peoples' homes.

At a cost of $30 million, Facebook owner Mark Zuckerberg purchased all four homes surrounding his house in order to ensure his privacy.

When you walk into a room and you forget why you walked in there in the first place is the phenomenon known as "event boundary."

A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

Rapper Ice Cube rejected the role of Bubba in ‘Forrest Gump’. So did Dave Chappelle!

A Chinese millionaire began selling cans of fresh air for 80 cents a can in response to China's worsening air pollution and made over $6 million.

A study by the Journal Of Positive Psychology concluded that two thirds of humans have no idea what they're good at and what their strengths are.

The band Blink 182 incorporated under the name ‘Pennywise Poo Poo Butt Inc.’ so that their accountants, managers and attorneys would have to say that when doing business.

Research conducted at the University of Stanford concluded that a racially diverse group has the ability to solve problems more effectively than a group with only one race in it.

In 1916, there was a proposed Amendment to the U.S. Constitution that would put all acts of war to a national vote. Anyone voting "yes" would have to register as a volunteer for service in the army.

There is a town in Austria called Fucking. In 2004, when the mayor of Fucking was asked if he'd ever thought of changing the name of the town, he replied: "Everyone here knows what it means in English but, for us, Fucking is Fucking and it's going to stay Fucking."

In 2019, a man sued his employer for racial discrimination, they settled out of court. He took the settlement cheque to the bank, who called the police thinking it was fraudulent, leading to another racial discrimination lawsuit.

In 1936, the founder of Adidas, in an attempt to market his shoes, drove to the Olympics and persuaded U.S. sprinter Jesse Owens to wear them. Due to Owens' success, by WW2, they were selling 200,000 pairs a year.

In 1975, professor Jack Hetherington from Michigan State University added his cat as a co-author to a theoretical paper that he had been working on. He did this because he mistakenly used words like 'we' and 'our' in the paper and didn't feel like revising it.

In 1998, Marvel offered the movie rights to nearly all of its characters to Sony for just $25 million. Sony declined and only purchased the rights to Spiderman for $10 million. Sony believed he was the only character audiences would care about.

The Greek philosopher Diogenese was the world's first troll. He pestered and shouted obscenities at men using brothels so much that they gave him money to go away. Once he had enough money, he would use the brothel himself.

During World War 2, the U.S. air dropped ridiculously oversized condoms over Japan, in an attempt to demoralise the Japanese by making them believe that U.S. soldiers were so well-endowed the Japanese women wouldn't be able to resist them.

There is a company called Hoxton Street Monster Supplies that sells salt made from real human tears, and disturbingly there are four kinds, harvested from different moments: sneezing, chopping onions, laughter and anger. Their latest salt is from tears shed while home schooling.

An Australian man named Don Ritchie lives across the street from the most famous suicide spot in Australia; a cliff known as The Gap. He, alone, has prevented around 160 suicides in his 50 years of living there by striking up a conversation with people contemplating suicide.

In April of 2014 the Danish government built an exact replica of their country in Minecraft using four trillion Minecraft building blocks. It was intended for educational purposes but, within weeks, American players had invaded the game planting American flags and blowing things up.

Okay, that’s enough information for one day. Have a tremendous and tumultuous Tuesday! I love you all.

[thewhimsicalenderdragon]

Behold some oc headshots

Why hello there internet goer

Perchance might you stop scrolling for but a moment?

you may or may not regret it, but hey, it’s the friends we made along the way.

anyways

a bunch of oc headshots

ALL IN THE SAME PAGE

WHY

there is no rhyme

there is no reason

I picked ocs at random and scribbled em in

Aria (Ari): (Harry Potter oc insert) I like feathers an obscene amount.

A (character from Hypothetically speaking, one of the things I write): I was create purely to have my partner killed off (they exist for angst reasons yes)

Luna: (oc from undeveloped but in dev world): you don’t get to know shit about me :) (this is because she likes to keep her secrets)

Arai (Luna’s girlfriend and a complete dumbass) (not to be confused with Aria): I enjoy causing problems.

Azar (Harry potter oc insert): I unintentionally cause large scale fires.

Saturn (bodyguard for a mafia boss who happens to be his bf): I get paid money to keep my idiot of a boyfriend alive.

Dave Strider(wait a tic he isn’t an oc he’s from homestuck why tf is he here): I make raps, hehe.

My persona Ender: I’m a gremlin who likes to draw :)

Me in the flesh: I drew the sketch for this during a highly important call, like an idiot.

yeah pretty much just chaos

I’m sorry I made you read this

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Karkat Vantas

Page 387-391

DAVE: now you know i like to deflect as much as the next person

DAVE: but ive had mad substantial character development in the last few minutes

DAVE: so maybe im willing to entertain the notion that i may be in the wrong here

ROXY: o damn fr?

DAVE: no ive never been wrong in my entire life

DAVE: but if its important to you i can rein it in

DAVE: practically a saint

DAVE: even though the only religions that really existed on the new earth we made was fucked up clown catholicism and sixty-nine troll jesus

DAVE: cant really call the pope and ask to be sainted like back on real earth

ROXY: could u rly

DAVE: yeah thats how it worked

ROXY: i dont believe u but i dont know enough about religion to argue

DAVE: its ok im making most of it up

DAVE: the only god i know is the god of rhymes

DAVE: incase that wasnt clear im the god of rhymes

DAVE: its me

ROXY: i thought u were a god of times

DAVE: amateur mistake

DAVE: the letters are right next to each other

DAVE: even then its not like im using the time stuff much anymore

DAVE: not since...

DAVE: ...

ROXY: i saw u use ur time powers earlier today to make a banana less brown

DAVE: i have explained this over and over

DAVE: you need to eat the banana before it goes bad

ROXY: its not bad just ripe

DAVE: this is fucking outrageous

ROXY: maybe if u stopped slicing fruit with ur sword all the time u might understand

ROXY: the subtle intricacies

ROXY: of fruit science

DAVE: is fruit science just going apeshit on a practically moldy banana

ROXY: lmao

DAVE: dont "luhmayo" me

ROXY: lol

DAVE: like i got time to be lectured by somebody who says "lole"

DAVE: barbaric

DAVE: i come from a more civilized era

DAVE: i drink my scotch as i sit before the mantle

DAVE: having just returned from the hunt

DAVE: a fire in the hearth dwindling down just so

DAVE: ah yes roxy old bean jolly good

DAVE: i hold my pinky out as i take a sip from my chalice because im not a fucking animal

DAVE: you make some sort of unbelievable jest and i say ell oh ell like a real person

ROXY: ok jake english

DAVE: this is the most heinous thing youve ever said to me

ROXY: theres somethin i gotta ask

ROXY: bout u kno who

DAVE: voldemort

ROXY: no

DAVE: is it voldemort

ROXY: its not voldemort

DAVE: you havent mentioned wizards once this conversation so im gonna have to assume its voldemort

ROXY: its about

ROXY: you know

ROXY: dirk

DAVE: ok shoot

ROXY: what do we do

DAVE: what do you mean

ROXY: u know when we catch up

ROXY: what r we gonna do

DAVE: maybe

DAVE: this whole thing is kinda bullshit and we are adults capable of being the people we need to be at the time it is appropriate to be that person

ROXY: what do u mean

DAVE: ok so theres this flower

ROXY: omg not u too with the flower

ROXY: i heard this story like five times

DAVE: oh ok

DAVE: but you get it right

DAVE: the story is what you make it

DAVE: and in that case maybe we are assigning this cosmic importance to things that dont need metatextual meaning

ROXY: i rly dont think thats the point of the story tbh

DAVE: then what do you think it means

ROXY: broson im sayin this with the utmost respect for u

ROXY: its not that deep

ROXY: its just a story

DAVE: then what about this

DAVE: do you think dirks right

DAVE: are we just a story that needs a villain

DAVE: are we heroes rescuing a damsel in distress

DAVE: or are we just people doing things that feel right at the time

ROXY: ya maybe this is just our arc

DAVE: i dont think life is just a series of arcs

ROXY: well to be fair

ROXY: our lives have just been a series of arcs

ROXY: and we r basically rushin off to save a damsel

ROXY: tho dont tell her i said that lmao

ROXY: ofc i want everyone to sort it out

ROXY: hunky dory

DAVE: but thats not what youre asking

ROXY: but thats not what im askin

ROXY: what i wanna know is

ROXY: do u think u can kill him

ROXY: if it comes to it

DAVE: i-

KARKAT: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ROXY: wtf was that

DAVE: he probably found one of callies little gifts

DAVE: been seein a lot more of them lately which debunks his leading theory that theyve been livin in the vents

ROXY: what

DAVE: i cant believe he never told you

DAVE: its all he talks about

DAVE: i told him it was kinda nuts but

DAVE: you know how he can get

ROXY: well i think since jades regular now

ROXY: callies felt more comfortable being up and around

ROXY: before they were just in the room nesting snug as a bug in a rug

DAVE: nesting

ROXY: ya like a bug in a rug what is there to not get lmao

DAVE: well they keep leaving karkat little piles of meat

DAVE: like a cat

ROXY: damb thats adorbs

DAVE: in his shoes

DAVE: at the foot of the bed

DAVE: hes convinced its to dunk on him in some way

DAVE: but thats just karkat being karkat

ROXY: but in the vents tho

DAVE: yeah i dont know man

DAVE: hes obsessed with it

DAVE: for once in his life he doesnt want to talk about it

DAVE: guess well never know

[the-firebird69]

So you asked me if I realized if it rhymes and yes I realize that I know which one you're talking about and I can't get to it too many people want to see the horns they're huge and he was amazed by them and sat there looking at them for like 5 minutes and people are bothering him if they're bothering me and people are standing in line asking him to move, hey said go around and send back people are f****** rude and they said what you're doing is rude I almost out loud but I'm looking at is something you don't understand because you're rude f****** low life idiots so they're staring at it and said to say something weird and the shape is odd and there's a name for it. It starts with an h and ends with a p. And they wouldn't understand it and he told his parents it's a harp and they said what are you talking about. So I think that's the Minotaur and they said no way so he got a picture of it and he studied it and he twisted it and said it is a herb and people said no way no they didn't know he went to work on stuff and he was pretty smart for doing that and he loves his son because he said he's pretty Sharp he's like a little giant and it was funny I didn't know the story but he made it happen and he studied it and someone has the most and we want to know what they thought about it and he says that the creature really is like a very high level demon who runs all the demons along with his wife Lilith who has similar horns loses the horns when he transforms into a human and he can be seen in Lord of the rings and clash of the Titans and one of them might be a Lilith he thinks it's the class of the Titans and she says yes and the creature is the one who fights too and he says You shall not pass. And the whip grabs his leg at the last second and it's horrifying let me see them fall together and the creature saves his life and lots of stuff he says he battles him he might with small ships and fails and the creature leaves usually don't and he is wounded mortally and somehow freed so we to see that the movie it's incredible and it's a giant monster and he can go right into the lava and come right out and protect things like and he might be uncle and everyone's been saying it that's all so weird

Trump

This whole thing is very weird it wasn't in the movie and it might be the real thing don't worry we look like jackasses said Dave probably put him up to it it was before you he went there and the horse went back into the place and some people notice it was very strange when he's staring at it there's a whole bunch of people start staring at it they're trying to get by but they were looking and more and more people and they said saying what color are those they're very dark and they're kind of horrified and figured it out and then said this place could be nasty and tons of people came it was horrified

Dan that says it has magical qualities a little if they have to fill in and he has to use them but I am incredibly interested and yeah the movie runs into a wall it looks real and gauges just rock this is good this is turning into a horror show, he thinks we have another year and I think so it takes them so long but then again we're chasing them out of the bases and they might have enough stuff for the ships but then again we're clogging the tunnels that's it again we might take those shifts he's my text certain amount or something we have to look at that

Yes we do and we don't need you guys here you can go around this tons of you and holding you all off and losing our stuff pretty soon we won't have stuff to do with we can't have the foreigners do it so I'm not sure what the hell's going to happen here the empire will come in. And what are we going to do if you don't have that many ships or big stuff

Mac

Do you like us I guess and running and can't go to the islands

Dan

Olympus

[ryanmeft]

Movie Review: Bodies Bodies Bodies

There is a pattern to slasher movies: teens or young adults gather at a secluded location to drink, party and have sex, and they are then systematically murdered for these sins. These movies were traditionally made by old white men who were in clear envy of a young person’s freedom, choices and sex appeal. Recent slashers, on the other hand, are largely made for an audience in their 20s, and as such sympathize more with the victims. In Bodies Bodies Bodies, whose name sounds like a grotesque nursery rhyme, the locale is a rich family’s mansion during a hurricane party, the victims are mostly college-aged, and the film is more about what being scared reveals in people than the visceral pleasure of watching kids get slashed.

This cast is worth taking some time on. Greg (Peter Davidson) is what we call an edgelord, a heavy drugs user who covers for his insecurities by belittling everything and everyone else. We sense, if we have any memory of our own youth, that this trait in him is to be pitied, not hated. Jordan (Myla’la Herrold) is the paranoid and forceful former lover of Sophie (Amandla Stenberg), an ex-junkie who sparks various resentments both by simply showing up and by bringing her new girlfriend Bee (Maria Bakalova) to the party. Emma (Chase Sui Wonders) is an aspiring actress who does not get along at all with her ostensible boyfriend, Dave. Alice (Rachel Sennott), the kind of girl for whom two weeks is a long relationship, has brought along her considerably older Tinder hook-up Greg (Lee Pace). There is some noise about other guests who have not arrived yet.

Given the economy of the location, budget and runtime, the guests must each develop a distinct personality in a tricky way: by telling us about it. This is always a cause for worry, for the filmmakers as well as the audience, because just like in school it is better to show than tell. Halina Reijn, shooting a re-written spec script by Kristen Roupenian and Sarah DeLappe, decides to do it through increasingly frenetic conversations between the players. We learn some important things: they have known each other since childhood, almost everyone present is a current or former substance abuser, everyone except Bee comes from a wealthy background, and everyone except newcomer Greg has a secret grudge against one or more of the others (Greg quickly develops an understandably tense standoff with David). The arguments that erupt between them are sort of like rock-paper-scissors, with everyone trying to react to what the others just did. Jordan accuses Sophie of phoning her up for casual sex, which sets off a chain reaction in which Bee is angry at both of them, while Alice’s mad protestations that Greg, who she barely knows, is not a killer result in pushback from all the other women. Misunderstandings, fears and angers pile on each other, juggled between the characters as each of them is in turn taken out.

The film is a satire, yes, but not in the way that Blazing Saddles is a satire. Instead of mocking the people on screen, the filmmakers largely mock slasher tropes and the occasional ridiculous aspect of real life that they reveal. A knowing smile crossed my face when one of the kids viciously deflates another’s rags-to-riches notions by stating “Your parents were upper middle class” with the kind of venom actual kids might use to insult someone’s poverty. I liked, too, the fact that each character is well-developed while also being a light joke towards some horror character standard---the loose women, the corny guru, the jerk, the attention-seeker. And of course there is that ending, in which we are not sure whether to laugh, gasp or just remain silent.

The social context of this new slasher landscape is even more interesting to discuss than the film itself. The fact that such films have long been in the hands of older people whose adopted role in life is to teach kids proper behavior through simulated murder is so subtly acknowledged that even younger viewers take thrills from watching their slightly wayward cohorts get butchered. Earlier this year, X offered a direct rebuttal to that, as the villains were an elderly couple who were blatantly obsessed with what their youthful victims still possessed. Are we moving toward a genre whose subtext is more open towards treating young, beautiful victims as though their deaths might not be that cool? You probably don’t care, and you don’t need to, but a more liberal viewpoint informs better movies like this one.

Verdict: Recommended

Note: I don’t use stars, but here are my possible verdicts.

Must-See

Highly Recommended

Recommended

Average

Not Recommended

Avoid like the Plague

You can follow me on Twitter here, if you want more posts about film and video games and sometimes about manscaping:

https://twitter.com/RyanmEft

All images are property of the people what own the movie.

[thewertsearch]

Been a while, AT. Have you recovered from your beatdown by Dave?

AT: yOU GET BOSSED AROUND BY THE KNIGHT, oK, gIVEN THAT, i HAVE A QUESTION, TT: Who? AT: oH, tHE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE "cool", i THINK, AT: tHE SUN GLASSES GUY, TT: Why would someone wear sunglasses while using a computer?

Oh, this is going to be an absolute slaughter. AT should just retire from trolling after this one.

AT: [...] i HAVE A QUESTION, AT: aBOUT HIM, AT: i WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HIS EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITIES, [...]  TT: If you really want to burn him, I recommend poetry. AT: wHAT, pOETRY, aS IN LIKE THOSE HUMAN WORD BUNCHES, TT: Yes. They are the most delicious bunches we have.

This is a mismatch. 

Not only is Rose trolling AT, she's also getting some hits in on Dave by proxy. This is an obliteration, complete with collateral damage!

TT: I suggest you serve these crisp bunches of honey and verbal annihilation to him as part of a complete breakfast. AT: oH, aND, wILL THIS BREAKFAST INJURE HIS SHRILL BARN BEAST, AT: i MEAN THIS FIGURATIVELY, jUST TO BE CLEAR, TT: A deft cluster-bombing of this sort will leave nothing wriggling from the razed earth. TT: Except sulfurous tresses while it cracks and turns black.

Jaspersprite’s ears have just perked up on the other side of this island. 

He’s trying to figure out where all this roaring laughter is coming from.

TT: Consider me at your disposal to help craft a comeuppance of such unqualified devastation, the angels will weep pearlstrings of little urban fellows cantillating an unbroken chorus of Oh Snaps. AT: pLEEEEASE, AT: i THINK i AM PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF MANUFACTURING THESE ALLEGED "dope" HUMAN RHYMES, AT: aND STARTING SOME SICK FIRES,

show us your raps show us your raps PLEASE LET ME SEE

[avrelia]

Moonlighting

https://www.hallowedgroundmedia.org/hallowed-ground-storycast/moonlighting

I listened to this podcast, where Lani Diane Rich was talking about the Moonlighting series, and I was happy to discover that she had all the same frustrations about it as I did, but is so much better at talking about them.

I watched Moonlighting when it was airing in Russia, in the 90s. I was a teenager, and I was sucked in in all the mad energy of Maddie and Dave, their chemistry and unbelievable UST. Reader, of course I shipped them.

I loved the crazy antics, the fourth wall breaking, the experiments, I loved Allyce Beasley Curtis Armstrong’s characters.

But mostly, yes, I was there for Maddie and Dave.

But will they won’t they was becoming boring and sour, and when they got together it was horrible, and then everything just got worse and sadder. I couldn’t understand what was happening.

And then much later I learned of the so called “moonlighting curse”. That supposedly falls upon any consummated relationship in tv series and turns everything into crap. And which totally doesn’t not exist, because it was obvious even to me when I was watching, that the problem was with bad writing that seemed not to know what to do with the characters. I mean, there is plenty of conflict and interesting stories could be told about people in relationship – just not if their only goal in live was to kiss each other. And honestly, not knowing what to do with the characters was just one of the problem. It was what they did with the characters that seemed to be the problem.

When the series started, Maddie was someone we cared about, a person who lost her money, and has to adjust to a new life, a new job, new people around her. She tried to be serious and careful, and economical. Cybil Sheppard, as her heroine, was, I think a half-forgotten star of several movies (I haven’t seen any of them), and this series was supposed to be her comeback. But was Bruce Willis who became a breakout star instead. And well, his David was electrifying, fun, engaging and irresistible. It was fair. But as the series progressed Maddie is shown as a caricature – boring, nagging, killjoy of a person who never has fun herself and never lets anyone have fun. She is having random womanly emotions, and she is wrong most of the time. David, on the other hand, becomes more and more adorable: he likes fun! He solves crimes while having fun! He has real deep feelings! Everyone loves him!

It is no wonder that the relationship between actors soured as well. But seriously, the show became unwatchable in its later episodes.

Still, when I think of Moonlighting now, I think of the amazing first seasons, of Atomic Shakespeare, of Agnes DiPesto rhyming on the phone, of all the fun, and of the valuable lesson that the chemistry between characters is not enough for the story to work. And that there is no moonlighting curse.

[liealittlelouder]

Ok ok but, consider:

Aliens reactions to our folktales and legends and myths, mistaking them for reality instead of fiction.

Like, human 1: "I don't trust Dave with this, he's flying way too close to the sun."

Alien: "Ah, yes. Did Dave fly his metal bird too close to your fiery star and fail the mechanical engines?"

Human 1: "No, I mean like, you know, Icarus, from the ancient greek legends? Stuck in a prison, dad made him wax wings to escape, dude flew too close to the sun and melted those new kicks, ended up dead."

Alien: "You mean to say you had wings during the ancient times?? You breached the atmosphere and flew to you Sun????"

Human 1: "Well... No, but to be fair Leonardo da Vinci did give the whole wings thing his best shot back in the renaissance."

Alien: "Is there ANYTHING you won't try?"

Or like...

Human 2: "This is a statue of Perseus defeating the gorgon Medusa."

Alien: "Y'all are beheading snake headed women now?? No, wait, a better question, why does your planet have snake haired women??? Are SNAKES not enough????"

Human 3: "That's mild. Ever heard the story of the Minotaur?"

Alien: "What's a minotaur?"

Human 3: "Half bull, half man."

Alien, genuinely scared: "Dear stars, they're even more dangerous than we thought."

Human 4: "Achilles and Patroclus, the greatest love story in all of human history."

Alien: "Sounds wonderful, tell me about this great human love."

Human 4: "Oh, well one of them got impaled because Apollo, ya know the sun God, yeah, he was being a bitch, and the other went to war for it. Ended up dead too, but hey, now at least they're together."

Alien:

Human:

Alien:

Alien: "Xena, where is our memory wiping device? I wish to unlearn this knowledge, my heart is doing funny human acrobats and I want to cry."

And fairytale references?

Human 5: "What, you expect me to just bippoty boppity boo this situation and turn this wreck into a golden gilded space carriage?? Cinderella may have had a fairy god mother, but we won't get this ship fixed unless we put in some goddamn work!"

Alien: "Bippoty boppity... is that... a formula? Who is this legendary Cinderella??"

Human 6, while ripping out a part of the ship with a crowbar: "Cinderella, she had glass slippers. And a pumpkin that was turned to a carriage. Y'know, fairy god mothers and all that. First world privelages I guess."

Alien: "How do I request a fairy god mother, I would like some glass slippers thank you."

And the cultural differences:

Human 5, recounting childhood stories: "Ma never let me go into the woods behind our house. Too many stories of children being stolen by fairies there."

Alien: "?????? I thought fairies were NICE!! Human 3 introduced me to Tinkerbell?? What do you mean they steal children???"

And and and, nursery rhymes. Do you realise how DARK our nursery rhymes are? Imagine an Alien hearing one, and then learning we use these to rock our children to sleep at night.

Exhibit A: "All the kings horses and all the kings men, couldnt put Humpty together again."

Exhibit B: "Jack fell down and broke his crown and jill came tumbling after"

Exhibit C: "Down will come baby, cradle and all."

Alien: "You're feeding these infants stories about death!! No wonder you humans grow up to be such stupidly fearless creatures!"

Even stories like Hansel and Gretel or the original Red Riding Hood, are so violent, definitely not very child friendly.

"What do you MEAN she shoved her in the OVEN?"

Aliens just mistaking our literature, even just fictional stories, as truth, or being shocked by the dark undertones.

We have superheroes and historical fictional legends and ancient stories and tales about Kings and sorcerers (yes I'm looking at you, BBC Merlin), time travelling Doctors and magical schools, all written as if they were autobiographical. And who's to say they're not?

Just aliens and human literature man, imagine the potential.

[federationsound]

Federation Invasion #500 (Dancehall Reggae Megamix) 03.24.21

Fade Away. Junior Byles

Jah Glory  - Glen Washington               

Why Be Afraid - Tony Rebel

Ghetto People Song - Everton Blender

Are You Satisfied - Ras Shiloh

Never Dis the Man - Sanchez

In This Together - Luciano, Louie  Culture & Terror Fabulous

I Wonder - Sizzla

Good Ways - Sizzla

Never Give Jah Up - Sugar Minott                 

Jah Jah Bless Me - Jah Cure

Earth a Run Red - Richie Spice                  

Lots of Sign - Tenor Saw

Declaration of Rights - Freddie Mcgregor

Created by the Father - Dennis Brown

Punchline - Luciano

Who I Am - Capleton

Praise Ye Jah - Sizzla

Praise Him - Sanchez

Seek God - Bounty Killer

Kette Drum- Determine & Beenie Man

Think You Have It All - Shabba Ranks

Jah Jah City - Capleton

Love The Solution - Jah Cure

Liberation - Morgan Heritage

  2) Badman Tunes

  Gangsters Anthem - Terror Fabolous

Bogus Badge - Louie Culture

Murderer - Barrington Levy & Beenie Man

Respect - Shabba Ranks

No Threat - Coco Tea

Sail - Wayne Wonder

The Test - Spragga Benz

Gundelero - Cobra

Bandelero - Pinchers

Carpenter - Pinchers

Find and Kill - Cobra

Narrow Escape - Capleton

Top a Top - Bounty Killer

Shine & Criss - Shabba Ranks

Mi Gun Talk - Terry Ganzie

Yu Think A Little Gun - Cobra

Whoa - Cobra

Down in the Ghetto - Bounty Killer

Action Speak Louder Then Words - Bounty Killer

War - Bounty Killer

Gun Man Tune - Panhead

Dead This Time - Bounty Killer

New Gun - Bounty Killer

Lodge - Bounty Killer

Gun

Bad Man - Assassin

Crime - Cobra

  3) Bounty Killer / Beenie Man

  Long or Tall - Bounty Killer

Make It Tan So Den - Beenie Man

Not Another Word - Bounty Killer

Mobster - Beenie Man

War Beyond The Stars - Bounty Killer

Any Mr. Man - Beenie Man

Dunns River Fall - Bounty Killer & Scare Dem Crew

Wicked Man - Beenie Man

Spy Fi Die - Bounty Killer

Dem Nuh Have No Heart - Bounty Killer

It's A Wonder - Beenie Man & Risto Benji

Memories (Stop Live In The Past) - Beenie Man

Suspence - Bounty Killer

Dengue Fever (- Beenie Man

Ask Fi War - Bounty Killer

Benz & the Bimma - Bounty Killa

Girls Dem Way - Beenie Man

Stucky - Bounty Killer

One Of Us - Ghost & Beenie Man

Mi Heartbeat - Bounty Killer

Slam - Beenie Man

  4) 90’s / 2000’s Juggling

  Desperate Measures - Baby Cham

Blazing - Surprize / Wayne Wonder

Magnum - Spragga Benz Introducing Twice

Bad Mind - Tony Curtis

Let Dem Have It - Merciless

Opportunity - Buju Banton

Dark Glass - Beenie Man & Goofy

Warlord - Bounty Killer

Shotta - Boom Dandimite

Soco Numa - Buccaneer

Mega Nitro Mix - Bounty Killer

Fed Up - Bounty Killer

Bad Mind Ago Kill Dem - Capleton

Wha Dat Fa - Baby Cham

Step It Up - Baby Cham & Frankie Sly

The Return - Baby Cham

Middle Fingers In The Air - Baby Cham

Mi See It - Frankie Sly

We Are Jamaicans - Shaggy

Caught In A The West - Bounty Killer

Quarter To Twelve - Simpleton

Anti Christ - Captian Barkey

God Bless - Shabba Ranks

Dun Wife - Cobra

Peanut Punch - Fabby Dolly

  5) Dancing

  Do The Reggay - Toots & The Maytals

Della Move - Admiral Bailey

Duck - Red Dragon

Stuck - Early Black

World Dance - Beenie man

Tatie - Snagga Puss

Dance The Angel - Harry Toddler

Bogle - Buju Banton

Butterfly - Jigsy King & Tony Curtis

All About Dancing - Tony Matterhorn

Row Like A Boat - Beenie Man

Higher Level - Elephant Man

Pon De River - Elephant Man

Skip To Ma Luu - Serani feat. Ding Dong & Razz & Biggy

Dweet - Ding Dong & Bravo

Bad Man Pull Up - Ricky Blaze

Tek It To Dem - Ricky Blaze

Blase - Elephant Man

Weh Di Time - Voicemail, Delly Ranks & Bogle

Ready To Party (Weh Di Time 2)- Voicemail, Delly Ranks, Bogle & Ding Dong

Willie Bounce - Elephant Man

Ele Medley (Willie Chin Kopa Remix) - Elephant Man

Scooby Doo (Black Chiney Remix) - Elephant Man

S.T.O.P. - Sultex

Wacky Dip - Voicemail Feat. Ding Dong

Arcle - Galtego Bay Sweep - Crazy Chris feat. Ami

Cut Dem Off - Ricky Blaze                   

Everybody Dance - Merital

  6) Vybz Kartel

  Portmore Scheme (Dub) - Vybz Kartel

Represent Portmore - Vybz Kartel

Seh Weh Yuh Feel Fi Seh - Vybz Kartel

Welcome The Outlaw - Vybz Kartel

Run Them Down - Vybz Kartel

Court Case - Vybz Kartel

OK - Vybz Kartel & Bascom X

Most High - Vybz Kartel

Start Well - Vybz Kartel

Up To The Sky - Vybz Kartel

Sweet To The Belly (Remix) - Vybz Kartel & Celine Dion

Whine (Wine) - Vybz Kartel

Robbery - Vybz Kartel

Portmore Freestyle - Vybz Kartel, Singa Blinga, Geez & Lennymatic

My Scheme - Vybz Kartel

My Gun - Vybz Kartel

How Gun Rise - Mavado & Vybz Kartel

Weh Dem A go - Vybz Kartel & Javinchi

Laugh & Shot Dem - Aidonia & Vybz Kartel

When Badman Buss It - Aidonia & Vybz Kartel

Work’ Boss - Vybz Kartel

Dancehall Hero Part 2 - Vybz Kartel & Popcaan

Party Me Say (Me Nice) - Vybz Kartel

Portmore City to Uptown - Vybz Kartel

Drive By - Vybz Kartel

Girls Like Mine - Bounty Killer & Vybz Kartel

Gal Clown - Bounty Killer & Vibez Cartel

Gun Clown - Vybz Kartel

  7) Dubplates

  Nice Up The Dance / Reggae (Dub) - Kabaka Pyramid

Heavy (Dub) - Pad Anthony & Jigsy King

Cool Out Son(Dub) - Jr Murvin

Sound Boy Killing (Dub) - Kojak

Full Up (Dub) - Bunny General

In The Ghetto (Dub) - Johnny Osborne

Murderer (Dub) - Johnny Osborne

Gangster Sound (Dub) - Johnny Osborne

Modern Day Judas (Dub) - Jesse Royal

Here I Come (Dub) - Barrington Levy

Prison Oval Rock (Dub) - Barrington Levy

Spanish Town Rocking(Dub) - Chronixx

Sudden Flight (Dub) - Protoje

News Carryin’ Dread (Dub) - Chronixx

BLXXD MXNEY (Dub) - Protoje

Steamin (Dub) - Fyakin

Four Twenty (Dub) - Capital D

Father Protect Me (Dub) - Keznamdi

Immaculate (Dub) - Kabaka Pyramid

Smoke Badman (Dub) - Chino

Late Night Scheme (Dub) - Vybz Kartel & Wayne Marshell

Prison Life (Dub) - Vybz Kartel

Bashment Party Medley (Dub) - Wayne Wonder

Medley (Dub) - Mr Easy

Medley (Dub) - Baby Cham

Eagles Cry (Dub) - T.O.K.

Uzi Draw (Dub) - Vybz Kartel

  8) Remix Segment

  Sound Bwoy Killing (Dub) - Mega Banton

Forever Young (Dub) - Wayne Wonder

Mix Up (Dub) - Agent Sasco

People (Dub) - Ward 21

King Kabaka (Dub) - Kabaka Pyramid

Raggamuffin (Dub) - Koffee

Here Comes Trouble (Dub) - Chronixx

Lonely - Bascom X

Nobody Has To Know - Kranium

Like Glue - Sean Paul

Ravin - Popcaan

Summertime - Vybz Kartel

Beat Up - Vybz Kartel

Stamina Daddy - Buju Banton

Memories - Beenie Man

Tour - Capleton

Who Dem - Capleton

No Way - Spragga Benz

Goggle - Tanya Stephens

Foundation - Beenie Man

Brooklyn (Dub) - Screechy Dan

Easy (Dub) - Suku Ward

  9) Showtime Riddim

  Galong Ya Gal - Baby Cham

Gal Splurt - Cobra

Gal Pon De Side - Frisco Kid

Hot Gal - Shaggy

Bashment Party - Rayvon & Red Foxx

Seargent Wallace - Frisco Kid

Searching Dem Searching - Wayne Wonder

Rain Again - Mr. Easy

98 - Spragga Benz

We Nuh Like - Spragga Benz

Slurp - Stranger (Dave Kelly)

Hypocrite - Beenie Man

Eagle And The Hawk - Bounty Killer

Murderer (Dub) - Bounty Killer

Weed Medley (Dub) - Bounty Killer

Humble Thought (Dub) - Sizzla

Ganja Medley (Dub) - Roundhead

Weed Blazing (Dub) - T.O.K.

Send On (Dub) - Vybz Kartel

Send On The War (Dub) - Vybz Kartel

Touch Me If Ya Bad (Dub) - Vybz Kartel

Get To The Point (Sizzle) - Sizzla

Praise Ye Jah (Dub) - Sizzla

Keep It Blazing (Dub) - T.O.K.

Rock And Pop Off (Dub) - T.O.K.

Medley (Dub) - Ward 21

Rhyme (Dub) - Timberlee

Rass Piece A Punaany - Natalie Storm

Medley (Dub) - Cobra

Oldies Medley (Dub) - Sean paul

  10) New Tunes

  Safe N Sound - Chronixx

Lockdown - Koffee

Elephant Man - Time Cow & RTKal

Me & My Lady - Tessellated

Young Boss (Remix) - Blvk H3ro x Wayne J x Skillibeng

Budum - Jada Kingdom

Likkle Bit a Money - Govana

Mr. Universe - Skillibeng

5Gs - Runkus, Kabaka Pyramid, Jesse Royal, Munga & Royal Blu

New Step - Runkus feat. Kabaka Pyramid

G - Royal Blu & Runkus

Thy Will (Remix) - Lila Ike feat. Skillibeing

Trample Dem - Kabaka Pyramid

Like Royalty - Protoje ft. Popcaan

Mango - Sevana

Fresh & Clean - Jaz Elise ft. Govana

Sean Paul & Suku - Space Ship

Gal Policy - Kranium

Ambition - Yaksta

Cool As The Breeze / Friday - Chronixx

Yeng - Intence

Clip Tall - IWaata

Crocodile Teeth - Skillibeng

Check out this episode!

[theuniversitychallengereview]

UC 51.01 - King’s College, London vs Glasgow

In preparation for tonight’s episode I replaced the flat tyre on my bike, which, if you are like me and refuse to actually take in any information when watching ‘How-To...’ videos, and instead opt to try and wing it, becoming incredibly riled in the process, is one of the only things in the world which has the potential to be infuriating and rewarding in equal measure. 

The maddening moment you realise that you have put the tyre on with the arrows facing in the wrong direction (because who knew that you could put a tyre on backwards) is matched only by the sweaty and oil-stained sense of accomplishment when the machine is finally back in one piece and all pumped up.

Likewise, the watching of an episode of University Challenge ebbs and flows in a similar way, with crushing troughs as you squint with your brain to try and figure out in which language Paxman has asked a question, followed by immense peaks as you pull an answer out of the bag before any of the contestants on the show. The same could probably be said of watching the England national team over the past month and a bit, with the rewarding part coming as a massive surprise to most in this country. 

Anyway, that particular campaign featured a tense 0-0 draw between England and Scotland, and tonight’s series of University Challenge opens with another such encounter, as King’s College, London take on the University of Glasgow (if you’re new around here, you’ll note that I am excellent at segues). 

Glasgow have an odd record of appearing in the opening match of a series, with this being their third consecutive curtain-raiser! The series before that they were on the second episode, and they also opened the batting in 2015. I don’t know what this means, and it probably doesn’t mean anything, but of their previous three such matches, they have a 2-1 record (although they did make it through to the play-offs in their one loss).

Their side this year is comprised of quizzers called Fairbairn and Cairns, whose names surely contain the highest number of consecutive rhyming syllables in the history of adjacent University Challenge contestants. If anyone can beat that please let me know. They also have a massive frog as their mascot. Make of that what you will. King’s are mascotted by a small lion, and have a member called Beard, though he does not have a beard. 

King’s Rashid gets the first starter of the series, recognising three clues relating to the word orange, and the Londoners take two bonuses on historical quotes. Glasgow’s Thomson hits back with Sylvia Plath, but they can only manage one bonus on sportspeople. No matter, Thomson buzzes in with another and they have the lead anyway. 

Neither team recognise the British netball league table for the first picture round, but Fairbairn picks up the bonuses with the next starter on Andre Geim, the first person to have one both an ig Nobel and Nobel prize.

Rashid stops Glasgow’s little run with a brilliant early buzz, and they close back within five points with two bonuses on the actor Lakeith Stanfield. Glasgow captain Cairns hits back with Dave Brubeck (Cairns looks like the kind of guy who would relish a bit of Dave Brubeck, so this is not all that surprising). 

He gets the next starter too, and Thomson recognises Johnny Cash for the music round (in one of the easiest music questions of all time, imo). They then struggled with Alicia Keys (’is that Emile Sande, it would be so embarrasing if we didn’t get Emile Sande’) and Common (’name a modern rapper, please’), before knocking Jay-Z (’is that Jay-Z? Yes, that’s Jay-Z’) out of the park.

A neg from Darulis lets King’s in for the first time in a while, but he makes up for it with Thus Spoke Zarathustra to take the next one. Glasgow are forty five points clear going into the second picture round, but this goes to King’s. The painting in question is A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte which is one of the only paintings I can ever remember the name of, although I was still beaten to the punch by Bedwin, who takes a second ten pointer in a row to put some real pressure on the Scots. 

There is then a neg from King’s, but Glasgow can’t pick it up and Bedwin takes her hat-trick with Helvellyn (she beat me to the punch again on this, despite the fact I climbed Helvellyn on Friday!). All of a sudden there are only five points in it! They could have tied it had they not gone with socialism instead of fascism for one of the previous bonus set, but it didn’t matter in the end because Beard takes the next starter with Tournament of the Field of the Cloth of Gold (although Paxman tells him he would have only needed The Field of the Cloth of Gold part) and there are five points in it the other way. 

They get another ten points with a few bonuses on marine ecosystems and there sounds the gong.

Final Score: King’s College, London 115 - 100 Glasgow

A very low-scoring game that, but entertaining nonetheless. Glasgow seemed very likeable, so its unfortunate that they have to go home, but you can’t be scoring 100 in a series opener and hoping to go through. Congratulations to King’s, who reach the second round for the second year in a row. 

Its good to be back, isn’t it! Thanks for returning if you are returning, and thanks for popping in if its your first time. I do this every week, so I’ll be back soon for UCL vs St Hilda’s College, Oxford

[acaseforpencils]

Rhymes With Orange on Regimented Creativity.

During the course of discussing and editing their interviews, I asked Hilary and Rina of Rhymes with Orange about their joke writing process, because they are the first daily newspaper strip that I’ve had on the blog, and I thought it would be interesting for folks to hear how they experience creativity as people who are expected to have completed work on a daily basis. Their responses were so wonderful, that I felt they warranted a separate installment! I hope you enjoy it!

Jane Mattimoe (Case): Doing newspaper strips, you have a far more strict deadline than a weekly magazine —I know with magazines, you can take a lot of time to send in a finish. Do you feel that affects how you approach how you come up with ideas? Because I know some people spend one day a week coming up with all of their ideas...others do a little each day... but you're really cranking out work! I guess what I'm saying, is do you feel you have to be a bit more regimented with how you experience creativity?

Hilary Price: In some way, I have to kick the can down to Rina, because in our collaboration effort, she is doing the lion’s share of gag generation now. From reading her answers to you, I asked her about her rituals to get into the writing mode, and she has yet to spill them to me!  

I cranked out the strip for 20 plus years, and asked Rina to be part of team Rhymes With Orange, because the seven-a-week creative process had come to feel like a grind. To answer your question, I do errands and life things in the morning. In the afternoons, I feel more creative and able to settle. I can also work well into the night. 

When I was doing the seven a week, Wednesday and Thursday were idea generation days, Friday was sketching day, Sunday was inking day, Monday I gave myself a break, and Tuesday I would sit there and wish I could come up with ideas to get a jumpstart on Wednesday... but never could. Sometimes people sent me ideas, and they were very valuable to me to get input from someone else’s brain.  

I feel like no matter what creative endeavor you do, your relationship to it changes when it goes from passion to your vocation. It’s like being in a long term relationship. The giddy “I’m SO in love” changes into a different kind of feeling. I know that I’m a hard worker and good at my job.  I have a cartoon muscle and a callous on my drawing hand. Even if I didn’t feel like it some weeks, I would muscle through and do my very best. But eventually, I wanted and needed a buddy… Cue Rina. 

I’d say Rina and I are very different beasts, in that she lives to work, and I work to live. But it makes for a happy union.

Rina Piccolo: I just wanted to pipe in and add to the discussion about regiment and having to be on a constant creative treadmill. I agree with everything Hilary says, it is a “job” — but in my own experience (and I’ve told Hilary this often enough), I feel I have the best job in the world. Maybe it’s because every other job I’ve ever had was soul-sucking, ie: working in offices, retail, and ugh...restaurants! 

On creativity and regiment: I think syndication suits a particular person with specific personality traits. Once, Dave Coverly (Speedbump comic) and I were talking, and he asked me: “Can you say what you’ll be doing in any moment of a typical day, in a typical week?” Meaning, in other words, do you function best on a routine? We then discovered we’re the same type of “beast” as Hilary put it. Syndication is just easier on folks who function best on routine, love their solitude, love working alone, and are more introverted.

I write in 90 minute sessions on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings after my workout/emails. Mondays I rough out the ideas written the previous week. Tuesday afternoons I finish the roughs, and send them to Hilary to get her comments on them. Tuesday afternoon: inking. Wednesday afternoon: color codes to send to colorist for the dailies. The rest of Wednesday and the rest of the week is pretty much free to do life stuff, freelance, learning new skills, and personal creative projects.

I try to avoid going off my routine— when I do for any reason it makes me feel completely out of it, scatterbrained, and yes, even unhappy. If anything, I think this having to crank out stuff on a regular basis has made me feel more creative, and although writing is hard, i feel it comes easier, or more naturally than it did many years ago.

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If you enjoy this blog, and would like to contribute to labor and maintenance costs, there is a Patreon, and if you’d like to buy me a cup of coffee, there is a Ko-Fi account as well! I do this blog for free because accessible arts education is important to me, and your support helps a lot! You can also find more posts about art supplies on Case’s Instagram and Twitter! Thank you!

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Kanaya Maryam, Meenah Peixes

Act 6, page 5398

DAVE: (you shattered the ring but theres more cracks in your rap)

DAVE: (ima top off your glass cause devastations on tap)

DAVE: (wait no)

DAVE: (your act couldnt suck more dick with a puppet in your lap)

DAVE: (what)

DAVE: (puppet... man where that come from)

DAVE: (you shattered the ring but theres more cracks in your rap)

DAVE: (your flows like warm milk that goes good with a nap)

DAVE: (haha yes)

DAVE: (shit lets be rails ill be the shoosh to your pap)

DAVE: (wait that makes no fuckin sense)

DAVE: (naw ill stick with the milk one)

DAVE: (yall claimin to be the lord of time)

DAVE: (all ya makin me feel is bored with your rhymes)

DAVE: (thats ok i guess)

DAVE: (still feel like i should work puppets into this)

DAVE: (no idea why)

DAVE: (what rhymes with puppets)

DAVE: (uh)

DAVE: (smuppets)

DAVE: (dave no thats the same fuckin thing)

DAVE: (muppets)

DAVE: (what the fuck)

DAVE: (the only thing that rhymes with puppets is different kinds of puppets!!!)

KANAYA: ...

DAVE: whoa

DAVE: hey uh

DAVE: how much of that did you hear

KANAYA: By The Tenor Of The Question Ill Assume More Than You Would Prefer

DAVE: all that shit was a work in progress

DAVE: aint fit for hype yet

DAVE: why you gotta be eavesdroppin

KANAYA: I Wasnt

KANAYA: I Was Just Standing Here And You Slowly Wandered Over In A Totally Oblivious Stupor

KANAYA: You Were Mumbling Your Rhymes And Walked Right Up To Me And Did Not Notice Me Until Now

DAVE: shit

DAVE: was i

DAVE: sorry i guess i just got caught up in my raps

MEENAH: do more!

DAVE: what

DAVE: no

DAVE: i cant those rhymes are still too rough around the edges

MEENAH: come on

DAVE: no itll suck

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: i could freestyle a bit i guess

DAVE: i dont know if i got a live performance in me now

DAVE: maybe it could work if someone dropped a beat

DAVE: need a good beat i could probably kill it with a fly beat

MEENAH: aheh hem...

MEENAH: dum dum PS)( ba dum dum PS)(

#no wait wait...

MEENAH: chum chum FIS)( ba chum chum FIS)(

DAVE: awwwww yeah

DAVE: that fish beat is the shizzle

DAVE: thats what i am TALKING about

DAVE: alright settle down motherfuckers here we go

KANAYA: They Then Proceeded To Have One Of The Most Ambiguously Rated Rap Offs In The History Of Paradox Space While I Stood By And Regarded It Neutrally